John August

Words on the page

Everything but the dialogue

Episode - 206

Go to Archive

Follow Up, News, Scriptnotes, Transcribed, Words on the page

John and Craig take a deep dive into scene description, looking at how seven produced screenplays arranged the words on the page. With samples from Aliens, Erin Brockovich, Oceans 11, Unforgiven, Wall-E, Wanted and Whip It, we tackle verbs and metaphors, ellipses and underlining.

You can look at the show notes to see the exact scenes we’re discussing.

Also this week, Paramount has cut a deal with two exhibitors to greatly shorten the window between theatrical and home video on two upcoming releases. We look at why, and what this experiment means for writers in the near and long-term.

Links:

You can download the episode here: AAC | mp3.

UPDATE 7-17-15: The transcript of this episode can be found here.

Really Short Stories

Big Fish, Words on the page

Daniel Wallace, who wrote the novel Big Fish, sent me the syllabus for the college writing class he’s teaching. I love the first week’s assignment:

> Write a story as close to 100 words as possible, each and every word a single syllable.

> Then write a story as close to 100 words as possible, a single syllable, but add this twist: no word can be used more than once.

For inspiration, he includes a link to [420 Characters](http://www.420characters.net/).

The 200th Episode Live Show

Adaptation, Directors, Film Industry, Formatting, Genres, QandA, Rights and Copyright, Scriptnotes, Story and Plot, Television, Transcribed, Words on the page

Craig, John, and Aline record the 200th episode of Scriptnotes live with a worldwide audience listening in — and chiming in — as they discuss TV showrunning and whether quality really counts at the box office.

Then it’s time for listener questions, ranging from presidential plagiarism to locked drafts.

Hard to believe it’s been 200 episodes. We wouldn’t and couldn’t have done it without you. Thanks to all our listeners, both for the live feed and all the weeks that came before.

Links:

* [Aline Brosh McKenna](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0112459/) on episodes [60](http://johnaugust.com/2012/the-black-list-and-a-stack-of-scenes), [76](http://johnaugust.com/2013/how-screenwriters-find-their-voice), [100](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-100th-episode), [101](http://johnaugust.com/2013/101-qa-from-the-live-show), [119](http://johnaugust.com/2013/positive-moviegoing), [123](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-holiday-spectacular), [124](http://johnaugust.com/2013/qa-from-the-holiday-spectacular) [152](http://johnaugust.com/2014/the-rocky-shoals-pages-70-90), [161](http://johnaugust.com/2014/a-cheap-cut-of-meat-soaked-in-butter), [175](http://johnaugust.com/2014/twelve-days-of-scriptnotes) and [180](http://johnaugust.com/2015/bad-teachers-good-advice-and-the-default-male)
* [CW picks up Crazy Ex-Girlfriend](http://deadline.com/2015/05/crazy-ex-girlfriend-dc-legends-of-tomorrow-cordon-cw-series-1201422393/) on Deadline, and [the first-look trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ctFmXGm_yE)
* [Jane the Virgin](http://www.cwtv.com/shows/jane-the-virgin/) on CW
* [Marie’s Crisis](http://www.yelp.com/biz/maries-crisis-new-york) on Yelp
* [Seth Rudetsky’s Deconstructions](http://www.sethtv.com/watch-tv/deconstructions/)
* u/tcatron565’s Reddit post, [2013 Domestic Wide Releases Opening Weekend Out of Total Gross Over Audience Perception of Film](http://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/37d8fg/2013_domestic_wide_releases_opening_weekend_out/) from [r/dataisbeautiful](http://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/)
* [A Cliff or a Rolling Hill](http://blog.blcklst.com/2015/05/a-cliff-or-a-rolling-hill/) from the Black List blog
* [Can You Copyright a Dream?](http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/01/selma-martin-luther-king-can-you-copyright-a-dream-114187.html#.VWyxT1xViko) on Politico
* Hear about Writer X on [Scriptnotes, Episode 194](http://johnaugust.com/2015/poking-the-bear)
* The New York Times Magazine on [A 12-Hour Window for a Healthy Weight](http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/15/a-12-hour-window-for-a-healthy-weight/?_r=0)
* EaterLA on [Korean bone broth soups and where to get them in LA](http://la.eater.com/maps/bone-broth-korean-los-angeles-koreatown-map-guide), and [Han Bat Sul Lung Tang](http://www.yelp.com/biz/han-bat-sul-lung-tang-los-angeles) on Yelp
* [Ultrasound Restores Memory to Mice with Alzheimer’s](http://www.popsci.com/ultrasound-restores-memory-mice-alzheimers) on Popular Science
* [Everybody Calm Down About Breastfeeding](http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/) on FiveThirtyEight
* [Supergirl first-look trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOAMGpRilnI)
* [Intro and Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Scriptnotes editor Matthew Chilelli ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

You can download the episode here: [AAC](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_200.m4a) | [mp3](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_200.mp3).

**UPDATE 6-5-15:** The transcript of this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2015/scriptnotes-ep-200-the-200th-episode-live-show-transcript).

8 Common Mistakes Made by New Screenwriters

Adaptation, QandA, So-Called Experts, Story and Plot, Words on the page, Writing Process

B.J. Novak is all about lists. He asked me to write this one about issues I frequently see in scripts written by beginning screenwriters.

**1. Starting with a concept rather than a character**
We don’t want a movie about a lost relic. We want a movie about Indiana Jones.

**2. Being too nice to the heroes**
I’m glad you love them. Now make them do something and suffer.

**3. Trying to adapt their favorite book**
It will only end in tears, because the thing that makes the book so great is probably not what would make a great movie. Adaptation is more like transmutation. It’s arcana narrative distillery. It’s not a great place to start your screenwriting journey.

**4. Stock scenes**
Hitting the alarm clock. Complicated Starbucks orders. Harried mom making breakfast. Parents at the
principal’s office. Guys watching the football game.

You may think a stock scene will help shorthand the hero or world, but it just makes the reader stop paying attention. Unless you’re presenting a clever parody/inversion of a stock scene, you’re better off doing anything else.

**5. D&D scene description**
“This small bedroom has a twin bed, a bookshelf and a desk. There are two lamps, both lit.”

**6. Characters with confusingly similar names**
Wait, was Lucy or Lisa the girl in the museum?

**7. Shoe leather**
You rarely need to walk characters into and out of a scene. Most scenes can just be the heart of the idea and done. No doors, no hellos, no goodbyes.

**8. Starting off in Final Draft**
This isn’t even because of my frustrations with Final Draft as an app. It’s more about process.

If you were writing a song, you wouldn’t sit down with Finale and start dragging in notes. You would use a guitar or piano and start figuring out a melody. You would futz around until you had something you thought was good, and then finally jot it down. You wouldn’t make tidy sheet music until you were ready to show it to someone.

Scenes are like songs. They shouldn’t be made pretty until they are good.

Full disclosure: My company makes [Highland](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/highland/id499329572?mt=12), which follows my theory that words should come first. But pen and paper are completely non-proprietary, and another great way to start.