John August

Words on the page

Logic and Gimmickry

Episode - 309

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Awards, QandA, Scriptnotes, Story and Plot, Tools, Words on the page

John and Craig step up to the whiteboard to look at the story logic in our scripts, then examine how tricks and gimmicks can help keep scenes interesting.

We also answer listener questions about paying experts for research help, and whether hiring a writing consultant ever makes sense.

Links:

* [Get your tickets now](https://www.wgfoundation.org/screenwriting-events/scriptnotes-homecoming-show/) for the July 25th Scriptnotes Live Homecoming Show, with guests [Liz Meriwether](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Meriwether), [Megan Amram](https://twitter.com/meganamram) and more!
* [Julie Buxbaum’s What to Say Next](http://www.amazon.com/dp/0553535684/?tag=johnaugustcom-20) on Amazon
* [Fridge logic](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FridgeLogic) on TV Tropes
* John on [The perils of coincidence](http://johnaugust.com/2007/perils-of-coincidence)
* The [Fargo TV series](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fargo_(TV_series)) makes a religion of coincidence
* Gimmickry used in Kill Bill with [split screens](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWI4G9PB31c) and [animation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQM0klOXck8), in (500) Days of Summer with [musical numbers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tJoIaXZ0rw) and [alternate timelines](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fL94BTrFhs), when [talking to the dead](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7xeK76cwA0) in Iron Lady, when Love and Death [becomes a silent film](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEETZTs795U&t=0m48s), and when [flashbacks become childhood](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLk9y0RZSGo) in The Hangover 2
* [Go](https://www.amazon.com/Go-Katie-Holmes/dp/B008Y6YKEE/) and [The Nines](https://www.amazon.com/Nines-Ryan-Reynolds/dp/B00164LTUO/) on Amazon Video
* [The LA Metro System](https://www.metro.net)
* [Hyperloop One](https://hyperloop-one.com/) and its [successful first test](https://www.theverge.com/2017/7/12/15958224/hyperloop-one-first-full-system-test-devloop)
* [The Scriptnotes Listeners’ Guide!](johnaugust.com/guide)
* [The USB drives!](https://store.johnaugust.com/collections/frontpage/products/scriptnotes-300-episode-usb-flash-drive)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Find past episodes](http://scriptnotes.net/)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Rajesh Naroth ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_309.mp3).

**UPDATE 7-25-17:** The transcript of this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2017/scriptnotes-ep-309-logic-and-gimmickry-transcript).

Lying builds character

Psych 101, Words on the page

Chris Csont looks how a little deception makes heroes [feel more genuine](https://thisbuildscharacter.com/2017/05/12/show-me-what-you-lie-about-and-ill-show-you-who-you-are/):

> As the audience, we have an important advantage over the other people in a character’s world: We can see a character when they think nobody’s watching.

> When we see the contradiction between a character’s presented self and their internal self, it helps to make a fictional person feel dimensional and real. We relate to that feeling of having a part of yourself cordoned off from the rest of the world, and we also recognize the discomfort of having that barrier breached.

It’s a great piece with lots of examples.

Pour one out for “Hold my beer”

Hive Mind, Words on the page

Here’s a delightful structure of Twitter joke that is getting awfully clammy:

https://twitter.com/ashleylynch/status/839323600863678464

I haven’t done meaningful forensics on “hold my beer,” but my best guess is that the phrase was originally used as setup rather than punchline.

That’s how the Twitter account @HoldThisBeer uses it:

https://twitter.com/HoldThisBeer/status/808926452787937281

Similarly, this [BuzzFeed article](https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/hold-my-beer?utm_term=.yc53bXlV5#.qvw3a7W9D) from 2014 uses “hold my beer” as context for foolhardy fails. That’s also how you see it used on [r/holdmybeer](https://www.reddit.com/r/holdmybeer/).

In this format, “hold my beer” is the frame, not the art.

But it’s as a punchline that “hold my beer” really comes into its own.

Here’s the generic structure:

> SPEAKER A: There’s no way to top this outrageous thing I said or did.
> SPEAKER B: Hold my beer.

Since it’s destined to die from overuse, let’s look into how it works.

**Speaker A has to be well-known — at least to the target audience.** If we don’t recognize the name, the rest of the joke won’t make sense. In some cases, a headline takes the place of Speaker A.

https://twitter.com/TheSCRLife/status/839606879517036545

**The thing Speaker A did or said needs to be plausible, with bonus points for recent.** There can’t be anything strained about the setup.

**Speaker B needs to be recognizable.** As with Speaker A, the joke only works if you know who Speaker B is. Either the speaker is already famous, or is temporarily famous because of recent events. The speaker can also be the tweeter:

https://twitter.com/IkeDavis10028/status/839295343384723457

**Speaker B either just did something foolish, or can be imagined doing something foolish.** To me, this is one of the most interesting aspects of this structure: it works both speculatively or retroactively. But like all things Twitter, the time horizon is very short. It’s hard to imagine the joke working more than a day or two after the inciting event.

When you encounter failed “hold my beer” tweets — and trust me, I [found a lot of them](https://twitter.com/search?l=&q=%22hold%20my%20beer%22&src=typd) — it’s usually because the writer missed one of these four important aspects.

## Life after beer

The carcass of a dead meme can provide home for other jokes that subvert the expected payoff:

https://twitter.com/TNeenan/status/824708467302752257

And it’s worth paying attention to the variant forms that continue to chug along, such as “hold my drink” and “hold my earrings.”

In the end, I think “hold my beer” has been a great joke structure for a time that feels bonkers. Every day as we scroll through Twitter, we silently ask ourselves, “Wow, could it get any crazier?”

*Hold my beer.*

The Workaholics list of banned phrases

Rant, Words on the page

John Quaintance recently [tweeted photos](https://twitter.com/John_Quaintance/status/799751549610168320) of two whiteboards listing phrases banned in the Workaholics writers’ room. His tweet has been widely shared, and is a mitzvah to all writers.

These phrases are all clams — jokes that aren’t funny anymore and therefore need to die. When you include them in a script, you’re evoking the rhythm of comedy without the content of comedy. They’re not just cliché; they’re hollow.

I asked Godwin to type them up so we could discuss them on the next Scriptnotes, where we look into their origins and ways to write around them.

I’m posting them here so you can read along. You can also [download them as a PDF](http://ja-vincent.s3.amazonaws.com/banned-phrases.pdf) if you’d like a copy for your wall.

___? More Like ___.
Can You Not?
…I Can Explain!
Let’s Not And Say We Did
I Didn’t Not ___
Va-Jay-Jay
Wait For It…
Just Threw Up In My Mouth.
Really?
Good Talk
And By ___ I Mean ___
Check Please!
Awkward!
Shut The Front Door!
Lady Boner
Rut-Roh!
I Think That Came Out Wrong.
Uh…Define ___.
No? Just Me.
Why Are We Whispering?
That Went Well…
Stay Classy
I’m A Hot Mess!
That’s Not A Thing
It’s Science
Bacon Anything
Cray-Cray
Real Talk
#Nailed It
Random!
Awesome Sauce
Thanks…I Guess
Little Help?
Laughy McLaugherson
___ Dot Com
I Love Lamp.
Oh Helllll Naw!
#Epic Fail
Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
Food Baby
Douche (Nozzle)
Soooo, That Just Happened
Squad Goals
I Just Peed A Little
Too Soon?
Spoiler Alert
Um…In English Please
Note To Self
Life Hack
Best. ___. Ever. (or Worst. ___. Ever.)
It’s Giving Me All The Feels.
Garbage People
That Happened One Time!
Well Played
I’m Right Here!
Hard Pass
Are You Having A Stroke?
Go Sports!
Zero Fucks Given
We Have Fun
Who Hurt You?
I Absorbed My Twin In The Womb
I’ll Take ___ For $500, Alex.
Thanks Obama
Wait, What?
Shots Fired
Sharkweek
You Assclown
Ridonkulous
Bag Of Dicks
Hey, Don’t Help.
Debbie Downer
I Can’t Unsee That.
That Just Happened.
See What I Did There?
I’ll Show Myself Out.
Here’s The Line, Here’s You.
___ On Steroids/Crack.
Swipe Right.
White People Problems.
I Could Tell You But I’d Have To Kill You.
That’s Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
I Think We’re Done Here