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Scriptnotes, Episode 615: The Mind’s Eye, Transcript

November 9, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/the-minds-eye).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 615 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, what are you seeing when you read or write or remember? We’ll talk about the importance of visualization for screenwriters, and the fact that some very successful writers can’t do it. We’ll also be answering some listener questions on choosing a medium and directors demanding writing credit. And in our Bonus Segment for Premium Members, what’s it like getting what you always dreamed of? We’ll discuss the pros and cons of answered prayers.

**Craig:** Oh, my. Answered prayers, oh, okay. We’re into the power of prayer on the show now. I like it.

**John:** Answered Prayers was I think the famously unfinished or unwritten book by Truman Capote. I always loved that as a title.

**Craig:** Apparently, his prayers to finish were not answered.

**John:** They were not answered. A little bit of a news hook this week. An article was in the Hollywood Reporter this past week talking about Marvel changing its whole television model, moving the way that they’re doing their series from the features division to an actual television division and really treating the TV shows more like TV shows. Craig, what did you make of this?

**Craig:** It was a little bit like reading about a restaurant that said, “You know what? We’re not going to make spaghetti anymore using beef. We’re going to use pasta.” Their method was… Look, I’m sure they felt it worked for them or that it was going to work for them. I think sometimes when a company is very, very successful, it can begin to embrace the delusion that everybody else is done and their way is always better, and sometimes break things, move fast, break things.

In the case of the way they were doing their television, it wasn’t working. It wasn’t working creatively, I don’t think, for a number of those shows, by their own admission, it seems. It also wasn’t working procedurally for the people that were working on the shows, neither writers nor directors. It was kind of good to see, but also a little bit like, yes, you mean you’re going to move to the way that the rest of us do it? Yeah. It works.

**John:** Yeah. Some of these changes will be actually calling the head writer the showrunner and making it clear that they are more the person responsible for the overall creative direction of the series, which makes sense. People always talk about television is a writer-driven medium. Thinking about the series not just as limited series, special events that have to work like movies work, but also thinking about the season-to-season, ongoing longevity of a series, it just makes sense.

**Craig:** To be clear, even though some of this is about empowering showrunners to be showrunners, the prior system wasn’t particularly great for directors either. Hopefully, this turn towards the normal will reap benefits for everybody involved, and of course for the audience too. Marvel is capable of making outstanding stuff. I have every reason to believe that this will go well for them.

**John:** I hope so too. Obviously, a lot of these things happened before the strike. In the story, they talk through some of the challenges these series were having and the issues they were facing with the way they were trying to make the stuff. It’s also worth noting that some of the changes that are going to be just put in place by the new Writers Guild contract would’ve had an impact anyway. In terms of going from a mini room situation to an actual writers’ room, that transition is different now. It’s more contractually mandated than it was before. If you’re going to make changes, this feels like the right time to make changes.

**Craig:** I suspect that the pause gave them a chance to evaluate, more than anything. Just having a few months to stop and say, “How are we doing this? And why are we doing it this way again? And why aren’t we doing it the other way that other people are doing it?” must have given them a little bit of perspective that they didn’t have before. It is helpful that we have new terms that will help them as they move towards the normal. But like you, I suspect the move towards the normal predated the contract.

I’ve never worked at Marvel. We’ve had Kevin Feige on the show. He’s a terrific guest on our show and obviously an incredibly powerful guy who’s overseen one of the most successful runs in Hollywood history, period, the end. I’m only talking secondhand, but my understanding was that there was this sense that it was the executives that ran the show. I find that the most valuable television executives not only don’t run the show, they’re not interested in running the show. What they’re interested in doing is being an advocate for their audience. More than anything else, their job is to say, “We’re supposed to reflect our audience’s taste. Here’s what we think about what you’re doing. Here’s a suggestion we have, a request we have, a question we have.” That what they’re best at. I don’t understand a world where executives are running shows. That’s not what they’re supposed to do. Seems like they’ve made the correction there. Very pleased to see it.

**John:** Obviously, a challenge with what Marvel was trying to do – and I’m sure they’re going to still be trying to do it, but maybe a little less a mandate and a focus – is their movies and their series were supposed to dovetail together in very specific ways. Things would be set up in a movie that would then pay off in a series and then go back to a movie. That’s really challenging to do. Dates shift. The needs shift. You’re trying to make each individual project the best it can possibly be. That’s very hard to do when they all have to fit together in a specific, magic way. I would not also be surprised if there’s going to be less of a focus on making sure everything pays off from this series to that movie to this next thing. Just that may not be the best way to make the best individual projects.

**Craig:** I’m probably going to get in trouble for saying this, but when has that ever stopped me?

**John:** It never has.

**Craig:** Never has. I feel like the universeness is smelling like a relic of the 2010s. I think as we are progressing into the 2020s, the whole extended something universe, it just feels kind of done. I don’t think the audience needs it. I think what they want is a good show or a good movie, really. I don’t know why everybody feels the need for everything to be interlocking that way. Yes, it helps you promote things, but nothing seemed to help the ones that didn’t work. I think just something good is good.

**John:** Good is good. Marvel was not the only entity making mistakes, apparently.

**Craig:** Segue man.

**John:** In this bit of follow-up here, we get to learn that actually, even I can make mistakes.

**Craig:** What?

**John:** Drew, can you help us out with this?

**Craig:** No, no, no. Don’t do this to me.

**Drew Marquardt:** Eliza writes, “On occasion, John misuses reticence and reticent. In the recent replay of Episode 463, John says, ‘Just to get over people’s initial reticence to read this different kind of scene description.’ Although reticence can seem like a fancy way to say reluctance, it’s not. Reticence is a reluctance to speak or share of one’s self. The words sound and function like cousins, but just like cousins, they are not interchangeable. Since John is so wordily wise, I couldn’t let him continue this spread of linguistic misinformation. But no one’s perfect, not even Duo SN.”

**Craig:** That’s right.

**John:** Eliza’s absolutely right. She’s right. I looked it up. I went back through the transcripts, and not only did I use it in 463, Episode 569 I said it wrong. I said, “I wonder if some people who would otherwise make shows are reticent to do so because they are just not social people and don’t want that responsibility.” I was using it as a synonym for reluctance. Instead, it is a very specific instance of reluctance. I’ve learned my lesson.

**Craig:** I want to say that I knew this and declined to say anything out of just the milk of human kindness. While I don’t think I’ve made this particular error myself, I also did not catch it when you said it. It just sort of flowed, and I didn’t notice it. By the way, if I did, here’s a question for you, John. Let’s say you do misuse a word. Do you like it when people correct you, or are you like, “Just shut up. Leave me alone.”

**John:** In a podcast situation that is fully editable, I think it’s fair for us to make those corrections. Occasionally, we will make those corrections, if a misstatement of fact. I’m glad to know that I was using this word incorrectly, and so I’m happy to have that be fixed.

A thing I’ve noticed about podcasts, listening to a lot of podcasts, is a lot of time you hear people use a word that they’ve never actually spoken aloud, like a word they’ve typed a lot but they’ve never actually spoken aloud, and they will mispronounce it. I find that fascinating. Sometimes I will look it up. It’s like, “Oh, that is an alternate pronunciation, so maybe it’s valid they did it that way.” But in many cases, they clearly just-

**Craig:** They didn’t know.

**John:** … didn’t know how to use the word in practice.

**Craig:** I’m not going to say I like it when people correct me, but I appreciate when they correct me. What I’ve noticed is, when people do correct me, I remember that correction much more vividly and reliably than I would if I, say, read it in an email. I still remember the screenwriter Stephen Schiff telling me that I was using comprise incorrectly. It’s very common to say, “This is comprised of blankety blank blank blank. This sandwich is comprised of peanut butter and jelly.” But in fact, comprise is a transitive verb. “This peanut butter sandwich comprises peanut butter and jelly.”

**John:** Comprises.

**Craig:** It contains peanut butter and jelly. I didn’t know that. He corrected me. I was like, “What?” He is correct. I’ve never forgotten it. I use comprise correctly all the time now.

**John:** I hear that, and also, I do wonder if it’s comprises and is comprised of. I bet if you actually were to look it up, “it is comprised of” is such a common usage that it’s become almost default usage. While I agree with Stephen Schiff that this is the actual, correct way to use it, in modern usage it’s not that. You and I, we haven’t fully given up on, but we’ve softened over the course of our 10 years of doing the podcast… You and I, over the course of the last 10 years, have argued about begging the question, and I’ve just sort of given up trying to point out when people are using it incorrectly.

**Craig:** It’s just me and Peter Sagal left now on that mountain, fighting hand to hand. I will never. Never! But yes, these little-

**John:** It’s always fun when you get a chance to use begging the question properly. It’s just delightful.

**Craig:** It is, and then no one knows what you’re talking about. There are certain orthodoxies that I think are just enjoyable unto themselves. Certainly, I guess this is unlike Stephen Schiff, if I hear somebody say, “It’s comprised of blankedy blank,” I don’t say anything, because I don’t know them. Stephen knows me, so he knows I’m going to enjoy it. But a lot of people are like, “Just shut up.”

**John:** I think what you’re pointing out though is, it’s pedantic if you don’t know the person. If you don’t have a relationship, then pointing it out is pedantic. If it’s Craig or Drew, you talking to me, saying, “Oh, John, you’re actually using the word incorrectly,” that’s not pedantic, that’s actually delightful and helpful.

**Craig:** Yeah, exactly. Great.

**John:** Craig, back in Episode 612, you talked through your diabetes diagnosis, and we have some follow-up on that.

**Drew:** James writes, “My mother was diagnosed with diabetes later in life than you, and no one thought to check out the state of her pancreas. Unfortunately, her doctors assumed it was type 2, and consequently, they missed discovering its underlying cause, which, unfortunately again, was pancreatic cancer. It might be worth listeners being aware of this. The people are getting fat and lazy narrative is too often relied upon.”

**Craig:** I am so glad that James wrote in about this. I am kicking myself, because when we talked about my diagnosis, which is this adult-onset type 1 diabetes, one of the things I failed to mention and should’ve mentioned is that there are two typical causes of certain elevated antibodies. One is type 1 diabetes, and the other is pancreatic cancer. In fact, we had to check that out for me to make sure that that’s not what it was. I don’t know why it slipped my mind, but it is absolutely true that it’s going to be one or the other, typically, when you have these certain elevated enzymes. Pancreatic cancer is brutal. It’s just a killer.

James has put forth one of the best arguments for antibody testing when dealing with evidence of diabetic pathology. I don’t care what age you are. If they tell you that you are prediabetic even or diabetic, you have to talk to them about testing these antibodies to see if indeed you are type 2 diabetic or if you are either type 1, which is a different treatment, or if you have hopefully what would be a very early stage of pancreatic cancer. Sorry to hear about what happened to James’s mother. I am terrified to imagine how many people this has happened to, but I suspect a lot. A lot.

**John:** One more bit of follow-up here.

**Drew:** Christopher writes, “I appreciated your openness in sharing your story about diabetes. It resonated with me, as I was also diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder as an adult, and similarly, only after a thoughtful doctor ordered proper testing. The diagnosis changed a great many things, but many months after life leveled out and I started feeling like myself again, I realized I was now one of around 27% of Americans who have a disability. And I mention this only because I didn’t hear you use that particular D-word during the conversation.

“I realize that being a straight white man with an invisible disability is complicated, but still, that shouldn’t be a reason to deny or minimize your experience. In my case, I initially dismissed the idea of being part of the disabled community, because I had always considered myself perfectly able-bodied and physically fit, and it felt incongruous with my identity to change that as an adult. I took great inspiration, however, from your episode with Jack Thorne. His advocacy motivated me to make some overtures to other disabled individuals to see if it was a place in which I fit. What I found was perhaps the most accepting group of people who I have ever encountered. None of them ever questioned my place among them or seemed dismissive of one’s struggles relative to another’s. We were all in it together.

“Publicly being willing to identify as disabled is a big step, and I’m not sure if you fully realized that when you volunteered the information about diabetes, that this is part of what you are doing. Going forward, it might feel a little ridiculous to say things like, ‘I am a disabled person,’ or check the accompanying box on standardized employment forms, but I encourage you to do so whenever possible. Put simply, when you identify as disabled, you naturally encounter more disabled people. You share stories together, and everyone’s experience is better off for it. We learn from and support each other most when we directly engage. You have already always demonstrated empathy in your work and a desire to be inclusive, so you should allow others the courtesy and opportunity to extend the same to you as well. Thanks for being so brave and sharing your experience with the Scriptnotes audience.”

**Craig:** Christopher, fascinating. I must admit, when I saw this statement here, the first thing I thought was, is it a disability? Obviously, we know diabetes is a disease, but is it also a disability? I went to the Googles, and the Googles sent me to the American Diabetes Association. And they have a page that says the following. “Is diabetes a disability? The short answer is yes. Under most laws, diabetes is protected as a disability. Both type 1 and type 2 diabetes are protected as disabilities. People with diabetes can do any type of job, sport, or life goal.”

That got me thinking about what Christopher was saying, because there are some bioethics here. Disability we can look at as a binary question, which I think is sort of the way Christopher is approaching it. Either you are disabled or you’re not. I’m saying all this to explain why I didn’t use the word disability. It wasn’t even a choice. It just wasn’t something that seemed in my brain to align with what was going on. It may be because I don’t necessarily see it as a binary, but more as a continuum. There are places you get to where, yeah, it’s a thing. Look, if I’m walking around with an insulin pump and I need time at work to go and change the pump or replace a tube, yeah, then I’m a disabled person who needs an accommodation to do my job. People around me need to be aware of that.

The question is, right now, given where I’m at, should I be checking that box, as he says, or not? The balance here is, am I going to be taking resources or opportunities from someone else who has a more impactful disability than mine, because there are some disabilities that are more impactful than others.

My instinct is, currently, Christopher – and I appreciate what you’re saying, and I thank you for it – but I don’t think that I’m comfortable checking that box yet, because I don’t need to. I don’t think I need any accommodations right now, and I’m very wary about taking them from somebody else who does. If anyone says, “Look, I have a disability. I want to check the box,” check the box. I have zero problem with that. But I guess this is mostly me explaining why I didn’t say it, because I don’t necessarily think I’m there yet. What do you think? This is a tricky one, John. What do you think?

**John:** I think you’re right that it’s tricky and that it’s hard to have blanket advice here. Looking back at Episode 530, we had Jack Thorne, and he was talking about how as somebody with an invisible disability, he’s had it hard to speak up for himself and advocate for himself. Then he’s really talking about the importance of having a disability advisor as part of a production, just to make sure that anybody who’s involved in production, be it cast or crew, feels like they have a person who they can go to, to talk about the accommodations they may need or to help them think ahead for a production going forward, which is great and smart. In the UK, they’ve been able to enact some of those rules, which is great.

I hear you, Craig, in terms of, I think the choice of how you identify is a personal choice. It applies to disability, but it also applies to many other issues. The fact that you have a diagnosis doesn’t necessarily, to me, mean that you have a responsibility or a requirement to identify as that diagnosis. I just want to make sure that we always leave space for people to say what they want to say about their situation.

**Craig:** Look, I have no doubt I’ll get there. Clearly, I don’t have any shame about it, because I talk about it on the show, nor do I think anyone who has diabetes, type 1 or type 2, none of them should have any shame. On that front, I agree. If Christopher’s point is you shouldn’t be ashamed, shame shouldn’t keep you from identifying as disabled, I completely agree, 100%. There may be other things, but shame is not a good reason. You do not need to feel shame about having any disease or disability.

**John:** Pulling back a little bit, I think your ability to publicly identify as what you want to identify as feels like a fundamental right. I just want to make sure that whether we’re talking about disability or someone’s gender, sexuality, or ethnic background, you are going to present yourself in the world a certain way, but you also should have some measure of autonomy in what you are saying about yourself. I just want to make sure we always leave space for people to be themselves and to speak up how they want to speak up. I honestly hear you, Craig, too, in terms of you don’t want to pull resources away from folks who may need more accommodation than you. It’s tough.

**Craig:** I certainly want to do my part to protect the workplace for people who need accommodations, but we do live in a world with limited resources and limited opportunities. I think we all understand if there is special consideration or opportunity for people of a certain class, I think we all understand that that protected class, that’s about helping people who really do need the help. It’s not simply about helping people who satisfy some superficial criteria. Steve Wynn, the guy who owns Encore, did he die?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I can’t remember. I think he died. But he was blind.

**John:** He was blind.

**Craig:** Did he need special financial accommodations? Probably. He was a billionaire. Yeah, I’m sure he did. Should he be getting grant money and such? I don’t think so. I think it’s reasonable to do a needs analysis, especially when we’re dealing with limited resources for a lot of people.

**John:** Agreed. Our last bit of follow-up is related to Episode 610, where we talked about what do studios actually do.

**Drew:** Mallory writes, “How do successes like Sound of Freedom and the Taylor Swift movie figure into the major studios being the only route to successful distribution?”

**John:** These are two examples of movies that were made outside of the traditional studio system. I guess Sound of Freedom was actually made inside the studio system, but then that got released outside of the studio system. Of course, the Taylor Swift movie is making a bazillion dollars. It was just self-financed and put together. I think there have always been those oddities of things that were just done outside the system, but when we’re talking about alternatives to the studio system, it’s really about an ongoing basis, not just one-off projects.

**Craig:** First of all, Sound of Freedom, the success is in dispute, because-

**John:** It’s a real question of how many people were actually in the theaters watching that versus buying tickets.

**Craig:** That’s right. Hard to say exactly. But yeah, there have always been these strange things. In the case of Taylor Swift, she really is an independent film studio. She has enough money to finance… I think it was $20 million budget. What that means is that she can finance anything and then release it however she wants. She’s also her own studio, because she can advertise and promote her own material. She goes on tour, and that’s how that works. Taylor Swift is her own business empire. That makes sense that she can compete with movie studios.

The major studios are not the only route to successful distribution. I don’t think we’ve ever said that. There are independent studios that do it. There are one-offs. We find them notable for a good reason, because they’re rare. Really, I guess the position that I’ve had, that I’ll maintain, is that major studios are, generally speaking, the most effective and most prominent way to distribute a film.

**John:** Yeah. In that episode, we talked about how, obviously, the studio is bankrolling things, but they’re also providing the marketing function. They’re providing the collection of funds function. Sound of Freedom, it made a lot of money. Did it actually pull that money back out of theaters? That’s going to be a little bit more challenging for them, because they don’t have the next movie coming down the pipe to say, “Okay, we’re not giving you the next thing until you pay up what you owe us.” Same with Taylor Swift. Apparently, it’s a deal with AMC Theaters, which was probably the bulk of the incoming money. But shaking that money back and bringing it home will be more challenging for her company than it would be for Sony, because she has no next thing coming out.

Obviously, the Sound of Freedom marketing function and the viral way they were able to make that happen was exactly perfect for their movie. Taylor Swift is her own marketing machine, so she didn’t need that function of the studio.

**Craig:** Correct. And she was smart, because what Taylor Swift, who is overtly, apparently a savvy businessperson, understood was that distributing the movie through a studio was going to cost way more than it would earn her. Way more. The studio’s cut is massive. Why do you need to go have a bank finance the purchase of your car if you are a billionaire and you want to buy a car? Don’t. Just buy it.

**John:** Just buy the car.

**Craig:** Just buy the damn car.

**John:** Our marquee topic this week stems from a series of tweets that John Green, the bestselling author, put out at the start of the month. He’s the author of The Fault in Our Stars, Looking for Alaska. Some of these books have become movies and series. His tweets read, “It’s baffling to me that some of y’all see stuff in your mind. You see it? The way your eyes see? I always thought visualize meant thinks of the words, ideas, feelings associated with the thing, not actual visuals. This may be why I’m so often wrong about what’s behind a particular cabinet in our kitchen, even though I’ve lived in this house for a decade. I also cannot tell you the layout of a room unless I’m in that room and looking at the layout. And I have no sense of direction. None.”

Somebody writes in the Twitter thread, “So when you’re reading, does it turn into a movie? Can you see the characters?” He says, “No, it’s just text. Very occasionally – I count the number of times it’s happened on one hand – I will suddenly feel as if I can glimpse something visually that’s in a story, but 99.99% of the time, it’s just text. Is that unusual?” And it is unusual, but it’s not actually unprecedented. It’s actually more common than I thought.

We’re not a science podcast, so aphantasia as a condition is not a thing we’re going to go into much detail about. But it’s hard for me as a writer to envision myself being able to do my work without being able to visualize. I thought we’d spend a few minutes talking about visualization as part of our process.

**Craig:** It’s an incredibly important part of my process. I can see how if you were aphantasic, being a novelist wouldn’t necessarily be problematic. The reason we who write for screen I think really do rely on our ability to visualize is because somebody’s going to have to actually make it.

Also, we are writing things for people to portray and act in three-dimensional space. Where are they standing? This is the great Lindsay Doran question that she would ask all the time when I wrote a script with her. Where is he standing? Where are they standing? How big is the room? How do they get from here to here? Describe the space, because there are going to be a thousand meetings where someone is going to have to figure out how to build that thing. The more you can see…

You may not be able to put every detail down on page. First of all, it’s not advisable to do so. Second of all, you just won’t have the room. The more you know, the more you can answer the question, and also the more internally consistent the work will be, because a scene is written in a space, and the scene follows the rules of that space. It doesn’t just change in the middle of the scene. For me, not only is it important, but it’s kind of essential. If I can’t see the space, I can’t start to write the scene.

**John:** 100%. I think one of the reasons why people may not immediately click to that in terms of screenwriting is because we’re not describing the whole space. Sometimes we are more, but sometimes it’ll be a slug line. It’ll say interior house, this, and it may give a little painting of what the space is like. But even if I’ve not put out all that scene description there, I have to, in my head, know where this scene is.

The first step of writing a scene for me is literally creating the space in which the scene happens, figuring out roughly the layout of the room, wherever this is, putting people in that space, figuring out their general blocking, and only then do I start being able to observe what are they doing, what are they saying, what is the movement, how does it all work. I call this looping in my head. I’m just seeing the scene play out. I can’t imagine writing a scene without that. If I’m doing a surgical rewrite on someone else’s script, I do need to build that space out in my head, or else I can’t do it.

It may have been Aline who said it first on our podcast, the joke that the screenwriter’s the only person who’s already seen the movie. Yeah, I’ve definitely already seen the whole thing before I’ve put it down on paper.

**Craig:** Oh yeah, I’ve seen it. This is this thing that’s happened to me a thousand times. When I get to a set or a place, everything’s always the other way. I don’t know why.

**John:** 100%, yeah.

**Craig:** It’s always the other way.

**John:** The phone is on the wrong side of the bed. How could you not know that?

**Craig:** It is so routine that I just laugh, and everyone’s like, “Wrong side?” I’m like, “Yeah.” Obviously, it’s not relevant. If it were relevant, I would make a point of it. The episode with Bill and Frank, I had their house in my head. This was the entrance. That’s where the dining room. That’s where the kitchen is. When you walked in the front door, the dining room was on the right, and then the kitchen was through the door, past there. And when I got their plan, they had put it on the left. They put it on the left for a reason. I couldn’t remember what it was. It had to do with something and building and blah blah blah. Every time without fail. Without fail, every single time. I think I’m very good at visualizing things, but I visualize them in the opposite direction from everybody else. The chirality is off.

But yeah, it’s essential. It’s just essential. Also, visualizing spaces allows you to write beyond the limitations of dialog. It gives you what are actors looking for, how to use the space, how to move through the space, picking objects up, what does it smell like, what is the humidity in the air, what do they lean against, can they tap their fingers on something that makes a sound, all of these things that you could do. None of them are there and accessible to you as you’re writing a scene if you can’t see the space. For what we do, I think it’s essential.

**John:** You said at the start that as screenwriters, obviously that visual thing is so important, but in writing the three Arlo Finch books, I would say that visualization was just as crucial to me, the ability to not only see what Arlo’s house was like and what the layout was and know where everything was in that place, but also what it sounded like, how the floorboards squeaked, and in the book, what did things smell like, what was the texture of stuff, how did things taste. In my head, I can do all those things. I can create tastes that I’m not experiencing. I can create smells that I’m not smelling. That was really important for me in writing those books, to just really ground you in what those spaces were, which in books have more than just what you see and what you hear. John Green is a very successful novelist who’s done all this without the ability to do that.

He’s not the only very successful person who has this condition. Ed Catmull, who’s a big Pixar director and animator, he has that same kind of mind blindness. Some very successful architects have it too. That doesn’t seem possible to me. Just me thinking about how my brain works is that these very, very visual people can’t see things in their head. They actually have to do it on paper to see the thing. That’s true. Clearly, the condition is a spectrum. They have a rating here from one to five. We’ll include it in the show notes. It’s not a disorder. It’s just a situation, like left-handedness. It’s not anything is necessarily wrong. It’s just that most people can visualize, and some people can’t.

**Craig:** Oh, I think there’s something wrong with lefthanded people.

**John:** Yeah, disaster.

**Craig:** Something needs to be done. We gotta get our country back, John.

**John:** This is just a wild theory I’m going to throw out there, and maybe somebody has tested this. I don’t feel a particularly compelling need to rewatch movies. Given a choice between rewatching a movie and watching a new movie, I’ll always watch a new movie. I wonder if some people who compulsively rewatch movies, it’s because they actually can’t see the movie in their head, and so the only way they can experience the movie is actually watching the movie, versus me, I can pull up any scene in one of my favorite movies and I can see the picture. I can tell you exactly what it is. I remember what direction characters are facing. A person who doesn’t have this visualization ability, it’s not just they can’t imagine new things. They can’t pull up memories of old spaces and times.

**Craig:** That may be true. If The Godfather comes on, I’m watching it, most Tarantino movies, and I can remember them. I can play them back. I can play back the entire scene where Samuel L. Jackson is yelling at Frank Whaley. I know where everyone is. But I still like watching it, because it’s fun.

**John:** I do wonder if down the road, algorithms will be able to figure out who is aphantasic, because it seems like the word choices we’re using and how we’re describing things ultimately may reveal… The same way they could figure out that Robert Galbraith was actually JK Rowling. I do wonder if there are certain patterns in people’s usages that will point to what’s actually happening inside their heads.

**Craig:** This is the next frontier, interfacing directly between our brains and the hardware that our brains have devised and created. I don’t know if I want to stick around for it or if I want to check out. I don’t know. The next few years are going to be nuts.

**John:** Ryan Knighton, a friend of the show – he’s been on a couple times – is a blind writer. He once had vision, but he lost his vision in his early 20s. I do notice that in talking with him and emailing with him, he uses visual words all the time. He was like, “I see what you’re saying. I’ll have a look.” He’s still using those things. I haven’t talked to him about this recently, whether in his writing he’s still seeing things in his mind, or if it is just all metaphorically seeing things rather than actually visualizing stuff.

**Craig:** I’m sure we have blind listeners. I’m curious. If we do have blind listeners who have been blind from birth, so they’ve never seen, I suspect they are doing some kind of internal visualization. Not all of them. Maybe some of them are also aphantasic. But what is happening for blind folks when they visualize things? Are they visualizing them based on the heard description or the read description? Curious. I’d love to know.

**John:** It’s good to see. Related, also there’s the phenomenon that some people don’t have internal monologues. They don’t hear things in their head. Sure. Again, there’s nothing wrong, but it’s just really unusual. I can’t imagine not being able to preview a conversation, not being able to have some ongoing chatter in your head.

**Craig:** I don’t actually hear it, hear it, but it’s there.

**John:** For sure. Let’s get on to some listener questions. Drew, help us out.

**Drew:** Oh, I feel the umbrage clouds on the horizon on this first one.

**Craig:** Here we go.

**Drew:** Greenhorn writes, “I’m a repped screenwriter but rather in limbo at the moment, since I’m switching reps, and I don’t have the appropriate person to speak to right now. A few years ago, I was introduced to a second unit director who has worked on some big movies. He’s looking to make his directing debut, so I pitched him a few ideas. One of them he loved, so I worked up a four-page outline and was in touch with him through that process. Indeed, he gave some feedback along the way, but to be frank, his contributions were minimal. The idea, title, characters, story, and set pieces are all mine. And indeed, every word on the existing document was written by me. As far as I understand, I am therefore the writer. All this writing I did pre-strike, by the way.

“He called me last week to say he just pitched the idea verbally to a major studio who love it and who want to see the outline. But he’s saying that he’ll only pass it on if I say he co-wrote it. This doesn’t feel fair, let alone true. From the conversation we had on the phone, I know that he’s doing this out of fear of the studio buying it from me and then just hiring a more experienced director to replace him.

“I’ve told him that the solution to this is for him to just option the project from me. I also told him that it isn’t fair for him to try to claim co-writer credit. He has responded petulantly and with a hostile tone, doubling down on his claim to being co-writer. And more worryingly, he said he’s now pitched the idea to another studio. But even though I’ve asked him, he won’t say which. I’m now concerned to protect my idea, since it’s the kind of high-concepty, laugh-out-loud kind of idea which you can imagine suspiciously resurfacing at a studio a little later down the line. And there’s no paper trail if he’s pitching verbally and indeed refusing to tell me where he’s pitching. So my questions: am I right to deny his claim to co-writer credit? And short of getting a lawyer on the case, how best do you reckon I respond to him while I don’t have a new rep yet?”

**John:** Greenhorn, a couple things to do right away, and then we can also probably back up to more general advice. I thought Greenhorn’s suggestion of, “You could option it from me, and that’s a way to attach yourself more fully to it,” that makes sense. He should’ve said yes to that. But he didn’t say yes to that. Now you’re concerned that he’s going to, having gone out to pitch this to different places, he’s going to try to set up this idea without you. That seems kind of like a thing he might try to do. This is a time where you actually need to make sure your outline, your four-page thing is actually… I would say actually register it with the Copyright Office, which we don’t often say. But you do need to protect yourself here and make sure that it’s clear that this really was your idea. You also have all the emails back and forth between the two of you. It sounds like there’s emails. That’ll also be in your defense. But you don’t want to be going into this planning for a lawsuit down the road. You want to stop this now if you possibly can. Craig, I’m curious what you think he should be doing right now.

**Craig:** Right now, we’re dealing with crisis management. Let’s jump in our time machine first and talk about what should Greenhorn have done. You pitched this idea that you had, and then you wrote an outline. Now, by the way, we’re not talking about an idea. Now we’re talking about a unique expression in fixed form. Now we have-

**John:** Literary material.

**Craig:** … literary material. “He just pitched the idea verbally to a major studio who love it.” I don’t believe him, by the way. Don’t believe him. I’m just going to say that right away, Greenhorn. Do not believe that.

**John:** He’s lying to you in other ways, so he’s probably lying about this.

**Craig:** “Verbally to a major studio who love it and want to see the outline.” They love it? Really? “But he’ll only pass it on if I say he co-wrote it.” Now, at that point, Greenhorn, I would have lawyered up, right then and there. I wouldn’t have offered options or anything. I’m like, “That’s it. You’re out. You’re done. Bye,” because he didn’t co-write it at all. That’s not what he did, nor do I understand why he needs to.

Greenhorn, your theory is that he wants to do this so that they can’t kick him off the project. They kick writers off of projects way easier than they kick directors off. They kick writers off of features on a daily basis. They hate kicking directors off of features. So, no, that’s not going to help him at all. At all. This is just lame. It’s not even a discussion, by the way. It’s literally not even a discussion. I’m sure he is petulant and hostile. Don’t care.

He’s a second unit director, so what do I know? I know then that he does not have experience necessarily developing material with writers as a first unit director. Second unit directors, by the way, are incredibly important, and the best ones are remarkably skilled, so in no way am I undermining what they do. They are necessary and amazing, but they do what they do.

**John:** We should say for our listeners who may not know, second unit directors generally, particularly on bigger action movies, they are filming a lot of this stunt work. They’re doing a lot of stuff that doesn’t involve the principal actors doing the main scenes. Every action movie you’ve seen has had an amazing second unit director doing that stuff. In television, they’re also doing a lot of pickup stuff for things that aren’t being hit by the main unit, so they’re crucial to things, but these are not people who are generally doing big storytelling scene work kind of things.

**Craig:** Yeah. If you go to a movie and you see a big car chase, all the shots where they’re cars, so not inside the car… Mark Wahlberg’s inside the car. The director, the first unit director is directing Mark Wahlberg inside the car. He’s going, “Whoa. Huh.” All the other stuff, zoom, ram, rah, crash, smash, that usually is the second unit director. Second unit directors sometimes are also stunt coordinators, because they are shooting fight sequences and things like that. The guys that went on to make John Wick were stunt coordinators who operated second units and then moved up to make John Wayne. It can happen, but it sounds like this particular second unit director does not have experience working with writers developing things, because if he did, he wouldn’t have said any of this.

Now, John is right, you should submit your work to the Copyright Office, and then you should call a lawyer. Now I know you say, “In short of getting a lawyer in the case,” but this is the frustrating part, Greenhorn. Sometimes I feel like John and I have a medical show, and people write in and say, “I’m bleeding out of my butt. Short of going to a doctor, what do you reckon I do with this?” You’re like, “I think you need to go to the doctor. You’re bleeding out of your butt.” You’re sort of bleeding out of your butt here. You need to go to a lawyer. It is going to cost money, but do you care or not?

The bottom line is, look, if you read about this thing happening in a newspaper, you can call a lawyer then and say, “Look, I’ve got this thing.” Then the lawyer will be like, “Great. Okay. I’m taking this on contingency, because it’s going to work, and we’re going to get money.” Or you can do it now. Personally, I would do it now. If that guy happens to be listening to this, if Greenhorn’s account is accurate, dude, act like you’ve been there before. This is ridiculous.

**John:** I would suspect Greenhorn’s lawyer will send a letter to this second unit director saying, “Stop misrepresenting your involvement in this project. To clarify, you did not write any of this project, and do not represent yourself as a writer on this project, and maybe don’t contact my client again.” There’s no salvaging this relationship. Greenhorn, I wouldn’t worry about trying to make good with the second unit director. You’re not going to end up in a happy place with this guy.

**Craig:** No. Also, to be clear, this guy is trying to sell property he doesn’t own. Once you start thinking about this like property, you can realize how offensive this is. He was like, “Hey, I want to be a car racer,” and you’re like, “Great. I like building cars. Here’s my plan to build a car.” Then he’s just going around going, to car companies, “I have a car that I made.” No. No. It’s not yours.

**John:** There are producers who are pitching projects they don’t own, but they are producers pitching projects they don’t own, and they’re not trying to claim that they are the co-writer on the project. That’s where they overstepped.

**Craig:** Correct. Also, producers that are pitching projects that they don’t write, generally speaking, have the consent of the writer. I’m not aware of any producer that’s going around there pitching IP that they have no association with. That’s just scumbag stuff.

**John:** There are a lot of scumbag producers who do that.

**Craig:** I guess that’s true. They’re scumbags.

**John:** Here’s the thing. They’re scumbags. This is a scummy thing to do.

**Craig:** Yeah, so lawyer up.

**John:** Sorry.

**Craig:** Sorry, Greenhorn. Lawyer up.

**John:** What else we got, Drew?

**Drew:** Ripley writes, “One struggle I continually have is what medium to write in. I feel with any idea I have, I can see how it would work as a cartoon or a horror feature or a comedy series. I’ve so far written a sci-fi comedy feature, an animated pilot, and a scattering of mostly drama shorts. I’m currently working on an idea that I’m on page 20 of and am still not sure what it is or should or will be. I suffer from ADHD and am often paralyzed with decision. I can see how a hundred different ways could work and never know how to narrow it down. Do you have any specific advice for this dumb issue?”

**John:** It’s not a dumb issue. I think a lot of people struggle with… I’m re-framing your question. It’s like, I don’t know what project I should write. Really, what it comes down to is you have a general story area, but you’re not sure what specific version of it you should write. That’s a really common situation. I think you just need to let yourself sit for a second, really think about what do you want to write. Is there a genre that particularly speaks to you, that you really enjoy writing, that you actually feel connection to? Is there something you’ve always wanted to try that you’ve not had a chance yet to do, that you want to experiment with? The things you write for yourself can truly be experiments. They’re a chance to take a flyer and see what works. Don’t be afraid to do that. Just try to be deliberate in your choices.

**Craig:** I think that’s excellent advice. I would only add this. Sometimes we struggle with the quantity of possible decisions, because we’re making the decisions kind of backwards. You have an idea, and then you say now, could be a cartoon, could be a horror, could be a comedy, could be animated, could be live, could be drama. Okay, sure, it could be a thousand things. We all have the same thousand things, so what’s the difference between people who are migrating firmly towards one thing, as opposed to you, Ripley, who are just like someone at Cheesecake Factory going through that massive menu, is that you are trying to stick that on top of what you’re doing. But it really shouldn’t be a decision. It should be a therefore.

You think about your idea, and you think about what the point of that idea is and what you’re trying to say with it and who you’re trying to reach, who you’re trying to talk to, and how you want them to feel. You think about all those things. As you think about them, it should begin to emerge that it would be best as blank. Anything that you and I have done could be a cartoon or a live action. Literally, Chernobyl could be a cartoon if you want it to. It wouldn’t be good, but you can do it. We make our choices for reasons. I think that’s the key is you need to figure out what it wants to be by asking what it is.

Sometimes the decision paralysis, and I’m not discounting the fact that you have an additional challenge because you have ADHD, but beyond that additional challenge, the reason you’re asking us is because you feel like, “Hey, I can get there.” I believe you can too, if you dig a little bit deeper into what exactly the thing is about. Then I think maybe you’ll have more clarity. I hope you will.

**John:** I agree. Looks like we have time for another question here.

**Drew:** Taylor from Arkansas writes, “I wrote an eight-page script that is part of an anthology feature film. The film is in post, and the producers are in talks with multiple streamers to buy it. I am not part of the WGA yet, and I cannot find on the WGA website how I should receive credit or maybe points. Any insight would be appreciated. To clarify, I wrote this script specifically for this film. These are not preexisting short scripts or films pieced together.”

**Craig:** Just to be clear, Taylor, at least this is how I’m reading your question, the project itself is a WGA-covered project. It’s just that you’re not in the WGA yet, I think.

**John:** Possibly. It’s not entirely clear from Taylor’s question. Let’s take that as the premise, and then we can modify at the end if we need to.

**Craig:** Taylor, you’re trying to figure out essentially how to qualify for full WGA membership, and indeed it works on a points system where certain kinds of work earn certain amounts of credits, like tokens, kind of, towards membership. And once you hit, I think it’s 24 of those, boom, you become a current member in good standing for, I think, seven years.

There is a manual that you can find on the WGA website, and we can, I’m sure, find a link for that that does show that. But you can also call the Membership Department at the WGA. They are there to help, because what you’re writing is a quirky little thing. It’s part of an anthology feature. Okay, so does this qualify as a short? Are you credited instead for the time you are employed? You need to call the WGA Membership Department and ask them this question, and they will give you the full answer.

**John:** Yes. Thinking about this project, whether it’s a WGA project or not a WGA project, your question of how you’re credited on the film is going to be relevant. I’ve seen anthology films where in the end, they list the different segments and then the writer and director of that segment and what the crew is, and they treat it like this was a bunch of shorts all put together. They may be an appropriate way of crediting writers in this project. Alternately, they could choose list all the writers together.

If it’s a WGA project, what’s going to happen is it’s going to be a list of participating writers, so you’ll be one of the participating writers in this, and then figure out how to assign credit. It’s tough in an anthology. Even having been on that committee, I’m not quite sure what the consensus decision would be, how they’re going to assign that credit. My guess is this is ultimately not going to be a WGA project, but we’ll see where it shakes out.

**Craig:** If it’s not a WGA project, then it doesn’t matter, Taylor, how much work you do. It’s not going to earn you towards membership. If it is a WGA project, the good news is, your credit credit, meaning written by or not, is actually irrelevant.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** It’s just employment. The question is, were you employed under a WGA contract? Even if you’re not in the WGA, if it is a WGA project, you have to be employed under a WGA contract. Let’s say that’s a yes. Then the next question is, what was the structure of that deal? Were you paid for time? Were you paid for a draft? Were you paid for a polish? What were you paid for? And then lastly, how long did that run for? Did you do two polishes? Did you do three rewrites? All of that stuff ultimately gets processed by the Membership Department.

Since we’re missing a whole bunch of details here, easiest thing would be for you to call the WGA. But don’t call them if this project is not covered by the WGA, because then it’s sort of like calling… You might as well call the US Post Office. We will have no more information or relevance to you if the production company is not signatory to the Writers Guild.

**John:** I would ask the producer or whoever it is who’s making the film whether it’s a WGA project. Also, take a look around as to who the other writers are. If none of the writers involved in the project are WGA writers, I think it’s a good guess that it’s not being done under WGA contract.

**Craig:** Agreed.

**John:** Cool. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is a series of, I think they’re originally TikToks, but I saw them on Instagram reels, by this comedian named Bonnie. I don’t know her last name. Her handle is Boobie Klapper, which is-

**Craig:** That was my handle.

**John:** That was your handle. The premise of these videos, it’s a class in teaching product packaging. It’s in that form where she’s talking to camera, but then she’s also playing the other two characters in this class. They’re really good. I’m going to play one little clip here so you get a sense of what this feels like.

**Bonnie:** Next on the list we have chips. They come in large bags, so most people aren’t going to eat the whole bag at once, and any exposure to moisture in the air will cause them to go stale. What are we going to package this in, you guys? Dylan?

**Bonnie as Dylan:** A resealable bag?

**Bonnie:** Good guess, Dylan, but no. Ruth?

**Bonnie as Ruth:** A non-resealable bag so that everybody has to buy other tools specifically designed to seal off the big gaping hole at the top?

**Bonnie:** That’s exactly right, Ruth. We want to create a headache so universal that an entire market of products emerges to try to address it. Well done.

**John:** She’s done this as a series, as an ongoing series of things. I just like the form of it. It reminds me of the Ikea cashier kind of thing. It’s just creating a premise and a situation, and the little three-man sketches are just the perfect way to manifest them. Loved it.

**Craig:** Excellent. My One Cool Thing is the most mundane One Cool Thing I’ve ever had. But John.

**John:** Yes?

**Craig:** I bought a whole bunch of socks.

**John:** You deserve socks.

**Craig:** I deserve them. I’ve always been just like, buy the white socks. I’m trying to spiff myself up. I want some colored socks. Dress socks are too thin. I don’t like the way they feel. They go too high on your leg. I like a comfy sock, but I also want a splash of color, John, so what do I do? I go to Uniqlo,Uniqlo in the Beverly Center, but they’re all over, of course.

**John:** They’re everywhere.

**Craig:** In the Beverly Center, they have a wall of socks, 5,000 different colors. The specific kind of sock, it’s called Uniqlo Colorful 50 Socks. I don’t know what the 50 stands for. Gotta be honest. Maybe they have 50 colors. I don’t know. Don’t care. They’re cheap. They’re comfy. They come in every possible color you can imagine. I bought a big mess of them. Secondary One Cool Thing. I get all these socks. I’ve never been to Uniqlo. By the way, I haven’t been to the Beverly Center in like 20 years.

**John:** Now that you’ve moved to our neighborhood, you’re closer to the Beverly Center.

**Craig:** There you go. I’m in there with Melissa. We bought our socks. She got something. I got a hoodie. All right. Great. So we have all of our stuff. Where do we go check out? Oh, no. All they have is self-checkout. That’s all they have. I’m like, “Ugh.”

**John:** Wow.

**Craig:** I have all these socks, because there was a deal where if you buy four pairs of socks, it cost $8, something stupid, which is great. We’ve got to scan all this. There’s a guy waiting there, and he goes, “Oh hey, have you used these before?” I’m like, “No.” He goes, “Okay. You just dump all your crap into this huge white bucket that’s connected to the machine, and that’s it.” John.

**John:** Amazing.

**Craig:** I am still freaked out by this.

**John:** Does everything have an RFID tag, which is how they know what it is?

**Craig:** No. They’re fricking socks. Here’s how the socks are packaged. There’s a sticker on them that you can peel off. Then there are these two little metal brackets to hold the socks together. That’s it. There’s nothing.

**John:** Does the sticker have an RFID [crosstalk 00:55:42]?

**Craig:** No. It’s a fricking sticker.

**John:** Wow.

**Craig:** Sometimes you could see inside, oh, there’s some sort of… No. I don’t understand what this machine is doing. We dumped in 20 pairs of socks, a hoodie, and a bra, and it somehow knew exactly what was in that bin instantly.

**John:** That’s incredible.

**Craig:** It’s amazing.

**John:** I like it.

**Craig:** I’m terrified.

**John:** When I was in Boston a couple weeks ago, I did buy something at Uniqlo, and the checkout was a hassle and a pain. I’m happy that they found some way to do it.

**Craig:** Get thee to the Uniqlo in Beverly Hills and try out this technology. It’s pretty remarkable. My One Cool Thing mostly is the socks, but secondarily-

**John:** Mostly the socks.

**Craig:** … the magic bin that knows what you bought.

**John:** I’m debating on how I think about this, because we mostly have white socks. We mostly wear white socks, and so we don’t have to match them. As we do laundry, any two socks are their pair. With colored socks, you do have to match the pairs. It’s not a huge hassle.

**Craig:** It’s really not. It’s really not.

**John:** I’m excited for your socks. You deserve colorful socks.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**John:** That’s our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt. It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Han Lundberg. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also a place where you can send questions. You will find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for the weekly newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing.

We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re great. Someone actually wrote in specifically about the new Scriptnotes University hoodie and how much they love it. I’m so happy people love the hoodie. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a Premium Member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments like the one we’re about to record on getting the things you always dreamed of. Craig, thanks for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Great. This had a prompt. Drew, somebody wrote in with a question for us.

**Drew:** Yeah, a photojournalist wrote in. She wrote, “Craig talks about his career and how he knew he could do something like The Last of Us but didn’t know or imagine he would ever be given the opportunity. I think about myself in a different industry. I spent years, jealously, I hate to admit, watching other people do what I wanted to do. I looked at their work and thought, ‘Just put me in, coach. I can do it.’ Then one day, while I was standing in the middle of a river, photographing migrants as they crossed into Mexico on their journey north, I had a realization that after 10 years of hard work, I’d made it to the opportunity I’d always hope I’d be given. And for a moment, it was like getting a case of vertigo, like glancing down while you’re extraordinarily high on a very dangerous mountain climb and suddenly realizing where you are. Can y’all talk about if you ever had that moment and how you emotionally reassured yourself so that you didn’t suddenly lose your footing and tumble back down from where you came?”

**John:** Oof.

**Craig:** Heavy.

**John:** I have a lot of stories, anecdotes, and related feelings about that. I became successful pretty early on in my career. I got my first movie made. I definitely remember walking up to set for the first day of Go! and thinking, “Wow, there’s all these trucks around. Oh, these trucks are for my movie. Oh, crap, I’m making a movie.” I felt like I wasn’t worthy to be there, and overwhelmed that I was going to be found out. There’s definitely a lot of imposter syndrome, and then realizing, “Oh, no, actually, I do know how to do this. This is going to be fine. This is going to be okay,” and a series of those sort of steps, like being on set for my first TV show and all those issues, being around famous people and being in those rooms and realizing, “Oh, this is sort of the dream. This is what I’ve always wanted. It’s kind of what I thought it would be, but also just a lot of hard work.” Craig?

**Craig:** It’s an incredibly common thing, and I think if you don’t experience it, you might be a sociopath. It’s pretty normal to think, “Wait, I’m the thing that I was dreaming of being. If I was dreaming of it, then I shouldn’t be it. That’s why it was a dream. Now what do I do?”

There’s a couple of things that hopefully will help. One is, at some point you begin to realize, I haven’t changed at all. The key is, like you said, “Okay, I had made it to the opportunity I had always hoped I would be given.” That’s a great way of putting it. What you didn’t say, and I’m glad for it, photojournalist, is, “I became a success.” You’re the same person. The circumstances around you are changing.

But one thing that’s happening is a re-balancing of the karmic scales. You’re being evaluated in a different way. Sometimes it’s not fair. Particularly early on in our careers, we can be discounted. Later on, we may be over-counted. There’s this thing that happens where suddenly you can do no wrong, until of course you do. Then it’s important to remember again, I haven’t changed; the circumstances have. The way the world evaluates you is not necessarily your worth. It almost always isn’t. It’s important to remember you’re the same person. That’s good news. What it means is what you were doing then, which they might have looked down on, came from the same brain as what you’re doing now. Keep that continuity in mind.

I run into this all the time when I’m doing interviews for press for our show. I can’t tell you how many times, a million, someone has said, “You used to make comedies, and now you do this. What? How? What? How?” I’m like, “Okay, here we go again.” See, have you never met anyone? You never met anyone who was a funny person who also felt sad sometimes or got angry or about something or had moments of seriousness? Do you think that Jim Carrey walks around all day like he’s in Liar, Liar? What? What do you mean? We hold multitudes with ourselves. But it’s hard for people. I understand why they ask me this question, because they evaluate us by what we do and then imagine that we had to change to do this thing. We did not. They did. They had to change.

Just reconnect with the consistency of who you are, and the fact that when you were doing the things that you were like, “I’m doing this for money. I wish I could have better opportunities,” that you did that work well enough to get you into this place, where people are now giving you the opportunity to do this. Just keep doing the work. Keep growing. Always be humble. Always remember you can get better, always. Study the people that do what you do, and do it so beautifully that you love it.

And never lose that excitement for other people’s good work. That’s so important. You see somebody else crushing it. Okay. You said you used to be jealous. Fine. But now you are where you are. Stop being jealous. Start appreciating it, because it makes you better when you see these things. It makes you better. You learn. It inspires you to up your game, which is fantastic.

Then don’t worry too much about the fact that you are, like you said, on a very dangerous mountain climb. You’re not. There is no mountain. There is just this long walk that we begin when we’re born, and we end it when we die. The walk is going well for you. Keep walking. Keep looking at it.

**John:** In the initial setup for this, I said answered prayers, that sense of, oh, you had this wish, this hope, this dream. You were a protagonist in the story. You had this vision of what you wanted to achieve. In that vision of what you want to achieve, you probably had markers and milestones and, “Oh, if I’ve done this thing, then I will have made it.” In the case of you as a photojournalist, if you’re being hired and sent off on these assignments to do these things, that’s great. In the case of people who want to make movies and TV shows, you’re on set, you’re at the premiere, where you have those pinch me moments.

The same way Craig was saying you’re still the same person, I think one of the dangers is that in that vision, in that prayer you put out there, you were going to achieve these things, and in achieving these things, you were going to be happy. You were going to feel good about yourself. You were going to feel like you were worthy, that life would be good. I think one of the things you notice over time is that the most successful people you end up meeting in their fields aren’t necessarily the happiest. In many cases, they are not happy. We know many very successful people who are kind of miserable.

There’s a certain thing that happens when you’ve achieved that success and, “Wait, I should be happy, but why am I not happy?” I can point to all these things that I have achieved, and yet I still feel like a miserable failure.” I think you’ve got to make sure that you are aware that some success, financial success, career success, the accolades of others, they feel good. They’re useful, but they are not going to fundamentally affect your own self-perception or your ability to feel good about yourself, and in some cases, that kind of success can only emphasize and magnify those feelings until you become kind of monstrous. Just be aware of that too. Success is not going to make you happy. That’s a crucial thing to remember.

**Craig:** It’s not going to change you fundamentally. It’s not going to cure your shame issues. They will still be there. Everything that John just said is really important to understand. We, especially in American culture, imagine that there is a win. It’s not really that way. Here’s the best news, I guess, is that when you become a success at the thing that you are compelled to do, because I assume, photojournalist, there are days where you’re like, “Oh my god, it’s hot, and I don’t want to go out there,” but also, “Oh, if I see that, I got to get my camera.” Okay, there’s the compulsion. That’s the way I am with writing. That’s the way John is. You’re compelled to do this thing. When you achieve a certain amount of success, it becomes easier to pursue your compulsion. It doesn’t become happier. It doesn’t become simple. You will still have moments where it hurts. You’re going to be doing it anyway, and now it’s gotten easier to do, because you can focus more on it. You don’t have to worry as much about other things, like paying the bills, being kicked out of a house, food, medicine, health care. Those things get solved by success, so that you can concentrate on the work you do.

With success also comes opportunities to work with better people. Working with better people is the instant Hamburger Helper to doing better work. Let’s say I get a call from Martin Scorsese. I haven’t, by the way, and I’m stunned. But let’s say he did, and he’s like, “Craig, I want to make a movie with you,” in his fun, fast-talking way. I would get better as a writer working with Martin Scorsese. How could I not? That’s exciting. There are all these benefits to success, but none of them include happy. That’s not the end result here.

**John:** Looking at this last paragraph here, she writes, “For a moment, it was like getting a case of vertigo, like glancing down while extraordinarily high on a very dangerous mountain climb and suddenly realizing where you are.” What I hear in that is also fear of loss, loss aversion, like, “I made it to this place, and now it’s all perilous, because I could fall from this high of place. I worry about losing it all.” I definitely see that happening among some of our peers. They’re really worried about, “If I don’t maintain this pace, if I don’t maintain this level of success, it’s all going to come crashing down.”

I think over the course of our 10 years, we’ve tried to be consistent about saying, “Listen, be ready to be successful. Here’s some things to be thinking about when you actually achieve some financial success, when you achieve some career success, but you can’t let that paralyze you, and you can’t get stuck or trapped in this way of thinking.”

Craig, that’s one thing I want to commend you for is that you were a successful comedy writer, you weren’t happy doing it, and you said, “Listen, I’m not going to worry about losing my status as a comedy writer. I’m going to do some other stuff here and scratch the itches I actually really have.” I would say the same to Photojournalist. Don’t worry too much about losing what you have. Keep thinking about the kind of work you did to get to this place, how do you keep that work going.

**Craig:** All true. I guess I’ll finish with my one last bit of, I don’t know if it’s advice, but commiseration, one human being to another. When you arrive at this place that you’ve imagined arriving at for so long, you can also get depressed, because there is no cake. The cake is a lie. If you have something to dream about, that is warm and comforting and exciting. If you get there and, as John suggests correctly, it doesn’t make you instantly happy, it doesn’t change who you are, transform you from inside, you can get depressed, because suddenly you start to wonder, what’s the point of all of this? We are trained to have a destination. There is no destination. If you think that you have, quote unquote, arrived, and then you look around and go, “Wait, is this it? It’s a lot like when I hadn’t arrived, just better hotel rooms,” that’s normal. You have to mourn the loss of that childlike hope.

Then on the other side of that hopefully brief spell, there is something better, which is an acceptance of the way things are and that the work itself is, he said cliché-ably, the work itself is the reward. That’s the reward. There is no other reward. Hopefully, we have helped a little bit there, photojournalist. We’re certainly very proud of you. Keep walking your walk.

**John:** Indeed. Craig, thank you very much.

**Craig:** Thanks, John.

Links:

* [‘Daredevil’ Hits Reset Button as Marvel Overhauls Its TV Business](https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/daredevil-marvel-disney-1235614518/) by Borys Kit for The Hollywood Reporter
* [Episode 530: The One with Jack Thorne](https://johnaugust.com/2022/scriptnotes-episode-530-the-one-with-jack-thorne-transcript)
* [John Green Tweet](https://x.com/johngreen/status/1708515024275189884?s=20)
* [Discovering aphantasia](https://austinkleon.com/2023/10/03/discovering-aphantasia/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email) by Austin Kelon
* [Aphantasia – A Different Kind of Blindness](https://leelefever.com/aphantasia-blindness/) by Lee LeFever
* [Here’s What It’s Like To Not Have An Internal Monologue](https://www.bustle.com/wellness/does-everyone-have-an-internal-monologue) by Caroline Steber for Bustle
* [WGA Membership Department](https://www.wga.org/the-guild/about-us/contact-us/departments/membership)
* [Boobie_Klapper](https://www.instagram.com/p/Cwv-uusPR5D/) on Instagram
* [Uniqlo Colorful 50 Socks](https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/products/E434187-000/00?colorDisplayCode=62&sizeDisplayCode=027)
* [Uniqlo RFID Automated Checkout](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqPfYnVKwGI)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* Craig Mazin on [Threads](https://www.threads.net/@clmazin) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/)
* John August on [Threads](https://www.threads.net/@johnaugust), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/johnaugust)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Han Lundberg ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli).

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/615standard.mp3).

Scriptnotes, Episode 610: The Premise, Transcript

September 18, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/the-premise).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 610 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show, what is it even about? We are discussing the premise, the very foundation of story, upon which we construct our takes. We also have a ton of follow-up on AI and language, listener questions, and more. In our Bonus Segment for Premium members, it’s back to school season. We’ll reminisce about pencils and notebooks and what we do and don’t miss about being in school.

**Craig:** Oh my god, that’s like, we’ll reminisce about penny candy.

**John:** Ah, indeed. I love it.

**Craig:** Pencils and notebooks, what?

**John:** A preview for our listeners, I have such distinct olfactory memories, actually, of back to school season, like the smell of glue and paste and when you open up a new thing of Mead paper and the notebooks. I love it all.

**Craig:** Listen, it’s going to be a Gen X fest.

**John:** It is.

**Craig:** We’re gonna talk you through all the pink erasers and-

**John:** Oh my gosh.

**Craig:** … the little plasticky zip-loc pencil holders that would go on your three-ring binder. Oh, we got it all, my friends.

**John:** Yeah, plus the new jeans that are really too stiff when you’re first trying to break them in.

**Craig:** New jeans. Hey, guess what? Jeans used to be made out of the same stuff they use to cover old boats.

**John:** Now they use them to make the new WGA T-shirts.

**Craig:** That’s right, exactly. They use that now to punish us, in our hair shirts. Yes, all true, all true.

**John:** It’ll be fun. We’ll start with some actual news. In the headlines this week, there was a ruling saying that AI-created art is not copyrightable. This was a bid. Stephen Thaler is an artist, a person who made something or had his machine make something. He wanted to register it for copyright. The copyright office said, “Nope.” The judge in the case said, “Yeah, the copyright did the wrong thing. That is a no from me, dog. You cannot say that is a thing that you created that is going to be subject to copyright.”

It is interesting. There’s been a lot of little moments that have come along this way. I’ve testified on the WGA’s behalf in terms of our perspective on copyright and AI. It’s going to be an interesting area to follow over the next couple years about whether things that are made by AIs can be copyrighted and in what circumstances.

**Craig:** I think Stephen Thaler, I believe he owns some sort of AI business. I don’t think he’s an artist in and of himself. I could be wrong. Maybe he considers himself one. To me, this was a slam dunk. There is no reason to imagine that AI would have copyright production, any more than there’s a reason to think that AI would have freedom of speech protection. AI is not a person.

If there’s one thing we know, that I think we can all agree on when it comes to the Constitution – and copyright is enshrined in the United States Constitution – it is that the people who wrote it were writing it about people and did not imagine, predict that there would be artificial intelligence. There wasn’t even a cognate for it.

Sometimes people point out that the Second Amendment was written at a time when guns needed to be loaded slowly with a rod and powder and that the founding fathers did not foresee assault weapons. True, but there were guns. At least we know, okay, so there was a gun. Guns have gotten crazy. All right, we can discuss. There were no computers, no calculators. There wasn’t even an adding machine. There was nothing. Copyright is for people.

I did read the decision. Sometimes you read these things, and you can just tell that the judge is like, “Oh, come on. Really? No.” It was very much a no. I foresee that that will continue. I cannot imagine that this would survive in challenges. I don’t care who’s on the Supreme Court. I really don’t. Unless the Supreme Court is entirely made up of people that own AI businesses, I just don’t see how anybody could ever argue that AI-created stuff qualifies for copyright.

**John:** We’ll put a link in the show notes to the pdf of the decision, which is great. People should read through it. The article I’ll also link to talks about some of the other challenges to copyright that have come up over the years. Of course, you and I, Craig, we both work for corporations, and corporations are retaining the copyright on the things we do, because we are doing work for hire. I think that was part of Stephen Thaler’s argument here is that the machine was essentially work for hire and the same kind of principle should apply here.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** What I argued in front of the U.S. Copyright Office is that copyright was initially intended to protect… There was always a human author. It was always about the authorship. While the final copyright might transfer to somebody else or transfer to a corporation, it was originally intended to protect that author and that author’s expression and to foster more expression from authors. That is not a thing that a machine knows or wants to do.

**Craig:** No. Work for hire was about commissioning work. You could commission it from people. Again, there was no understanding or conception or ability to foresee that you could commission work from something that wasn’t alive.

For instance, nobody would’ve argued that if somebody had, I don’t know, a loom that could operate itself, that that would be creating works of art. Player pianos, interestingly, created all sorts of issues around copyright. That led to a whole understanding of mechanical copies and things like that and how mechanical copying was in and of itself a derivative of copyright.

We do not commission work. I think work for hire and the commissioning actually started in, I don’t know, prerevolutionary time with silversmiths, people like Paul Revere, I suppose.

**John:** It’s all Paul Revere’s fault.

**Craig:** They would come up with a design and say, “Listen, you work in my factory. I do all the silver stuff. Come up with a design of something. I’ll make a bunch of buckles. I’m going to own the buckle copyright if you want to work here.” That became the way that functioned.

You cannot commission something that is not alive, because you can’t pay it. It’s not a thing. So work for hire requires payment. It requires employment. You cannot employ something that isn’t alive. That’s not what employment is. Employment is paying a human for a thing.

**John:** The use of technology has also come up in copyright over the years. As photography came to be, they had to decide, a photograph taken by a camera, is that copyrightable, and is it to the person who took the photo, and if it’s to the person who took the photo, does it apply to the monkey who takes a photo. There famously was a monkey who took a selfie. Who owns the copyright to that selfie?

**Craig:** What courts have found is that humans causing something to be created is an essential part of copyright. If a camera falls off the back of a truck and the take a picture button gets hit, and it takes a picture, welcome to public domain. No one caused it to be created.

Animals cannot cause something to be created in an intentional sense, or at least in the sense that we say is necessary for copyright. No, selfies by animals, pictures by animals, paintings by elephants, none of it can be considered copyrightable, nor can a human say, “I am causing an animal to create something. Therefore, I should have the copyright on this.”

**John:** Where I think the decisions will ultimately come down, and it’s trying to draw that line of, when a human being uses AI programs to create a work of art, or to create anything that would normally be subject to copyright, where is that line, where it’s like, okay, that human gets the copyright claim. Caselaw will figure that out.

**Craig:** That’s a real thing. That’s happening now, and to the extent that there are elements in there that you can say are unique. This is the key. People need to look at some of the language underpinning all of this, but the most important word is “unique.” Unique work expressed in fixed form. Unique is key.

If people are using AI to make something, but the AI elements that they’re employing are not unique, it’s gonna be very hard for them to qualify for things, because other people can… It’s just basically, you’re remixing chunks of stuff that somebody else has created.

**John:** While all culture is remixing, how you’re doing it and the things you’re using to do it with does matter.

**Craig:** Yes, exactly. You can remix to the extent that, okay, I’m gonna write a song that’s gonna hint at a little phrase that was in this piece of music and maybe do a variation of something else, and it’s unique.

What you can’t do on your own, just because, is do Paul’s Boutique by the Beastie Boys, and then not have to deal with the fact that you’re using copyrighted works that you are remixing. That is gonna be a mess, because AI itself can’t really exist without the input of stuff that somebody made.

**John:** Craig, on this listening session, I gave my little testimony, but then I also got to listen in as other people gave theirs. This was an interesting thought experiment, which is gonna not even be a thought experiment soon. This will come up, and it’ll become an issue.

Let’s take a game like Red Dead Redemption. You would agree that the company that makes Red Dead Redemption can copyright the material that’s in Red Dead Redemption. Someone wrote all the stuff that’s in there. There’s an ability to protect that material, correct?

**Craig:** Yes. Rockstar commissioned a lot of people on a work-for-hire basis. Rockstar owns the copyright to Red Dead Redemption. Correct.

**John:** Imagine a future version of Red Dead Redemption where the dialogue and situations that occur within Red Dead Redemption are not the product of people writing things, but instead of AI generating, in real time, within the game itself, those scenarios, the dialogue, what’s happening, creating characterizations. Would that material be copyrightable by Rockstar Games?

**Craig:** It would, because Rockstar is creating a derivative work of their own copyrighted material.

**John:** Okay. Defensible, but also challenging to protect in certain ways. If it wasn’t IP that was clearly already owned, then you can imagine scenarios in which there is, inside a computer game, new material being created, and a real question, a live question, of whether that material created by AI is protectable.

**Craig:** They would have to be able to show that their AI… Let’s just call it a black box. You put stuff into the black box. Stuff comes out of the black box. They would have to show that they only exclusively fed the black box stuff that they had 100% intellectual property control over. At that point, I don’t see how you can argue that the black box somehow undoes that.

Now, if they say, we’re gonna put in all of our stuff, plus we’re also gonna feed the black box 30 Westerns, now you got a problem. Then I think they can’t. That’s where it gets interesting. I think it’s actually, weirdly, not that complicated, as long as you understand how copyright works and what you can and can’t do and what it means to own something. Either you do or you don’t. If you don’t, you can’t half-own it. You own it or you don’t.

**John:** Other news this last week, Disney is releasing on Blu-ray Disc… Blu-ray Discs still exist, apparently.

**Craig:** Yes, they do.

**John:** Mandalorian, Loki, WandaVision, and some other titles. Just notable because you don’t hear about Blu-ray or DVD releases that often. There’s always that concern of shows will disappear off their services, and then no one will ever be able to find it. This is a counterexample, where these things are so popular that Disney recognizes, people will pay us money for these things that have special features on them, and they believe they can make a buck on it. What’s your reaction to some stuff coming out on disc?

**Craig:** Just last week I received my 4K and Blu-ray copies of The Last of Us on DVD.

**John:** Fantastic. Talk to us about that and also what is the sales pitch for a consumer. Why would a person want that, versus watching it on HBO Max?

**Craig:** Quality. It just simply comes down to playback quality. It doesn’t matter how fast your internet connection is. Let’s say it’s maximum speed. It still doesn’t matter, because in order to put the signal out in an efficient way across the world, every streaming service has to compress the image, and the sound to some extent, much less. Really, the image has to be compressed in such a way that it’s deliverable.

When you are getting 4K in particular, but also Blu-rays, it’s just higher resolution than what you’re getting over a streaming service. 4K would be the maximum resolution. In fact, technically, we didn’t even shoot the season in 4K. We were going to shoot the next season in true 4K. Then we went through an HDR process, and it gets up-ressed, and magically, I don’t know, something happens.

**John:** Probably AI.

**Craig:** It’s probably AI.

**John:** It genuinely is probably AI. It’s pattern matching to figure out what the missing pixels would be.

**Craig:** I have no idea. It’s probably more algorithmic than AI. The bottom line is, there’s no reason to buy any of these things unless you really want to see it at its best, which of course, as a cinephile, I do, for certain things.

Also, as our screens get bigger at home, the flaws of streaming will become more and more evident. You would think that as time goes on, speeds would get faster and faster, and therefore the ability to send something through at full resolution would be closer and closer. But the problem is because everything is now going through the same pipe. They have to feed that pipe across the world to billions of people. It’s gonna be a while, I think, before we have that kind of infrastructure. Owning these things on DVD at full resolution is as close as you can get to permanency, as long as they keep manufacturing the equipment to play them back.

**John:** That’s gonna be the question. We do have a Blu-ray player, but we got it specifically because Stuart Friedel, formerly Scriptnotes podcast producer, has purchased, for my daughter, a Blu-ray copy of Freaks and Geeks, because she’d never seen Freaks and Geeks. He got her a Blu-ray copy, and we realized we don’t have a Blu-ray player. We got a Blu-ray player so she could watch Freaks and Geeks. I think she watched an episode.

**Craig:** Stuart got you a gift that ended up costing you a lot of money.

**John:** It did. It did. It cost us a lot. This news that these titles are coming out on disc, I’m excited for those creators and showrunners and everyone who worked on them, because they know there’s some permanent copy of this, which years from now you can look back at, which is fantastic. Reflecting on my own experience, it’s been two or three years since I’ve played anything off of a disc. It’s just the reality. I don’t know what your experience has been.

**Craig:** Similar. I think that where home video on DVD, VHS, used to be this enormous market, at this point, it’s more akin to the way laser discs used to be, something that people who really care about image quality purchase. It’s more of a niche marketplace. It is a little bit of a prestigious kind of, “Look, you can even own it for yourself at full la da da da.” That’s terrific, but as you note, this is not something that they do for everything.

Luckily, I’ve had it for Chernobyl and for The Last of Us, because when I was writing movies, there’s DVDs for all of those things, because there was DVDs for everything then. So far, I haven’t written anything that could theoretically be disappeared off the planet, or as the kids would say, yeeted, or you know what? I don’t even think they say that anymore. I bet yeeted is 10 years old now.

**John:** Yeah, it’s moved on. It’s a historical term.

**Craig:** Yeeted got yeeted.

**John:** If you’re listening to this podcast 10 years from now, and we say yeeted, and you don’t know what we’re talking about, or you do know it, and Craig was wrong, and it did come back, please write-

**Craig:** It’s going to come back.

**John:** … to future producer, Adam Middlemarch, and tell Adam what happened.

**Craig:** Now we have to comb the hospital records for an Adam Middlemarch being born.

**John:** Good stuff.

**Craig:** Find him and just be like, “You have been chosen. It is your fate.”

**John:** “You have been chosen.”

**Craig:** “You will fulfill your destiny.”

**John:** We have some follow-up. Drew, talk us through. This first one, I’ll tell, his name is Adam Lisagor, because it’s hard to guess how you would pronounce that name. He’s a very smart writer, actor, producer, director person and a friend of mine. He wrote back about our conversation on large language models in 607.

**Drew Marquardt:** Adam Lisagor writes, “To Craig’s question of why we don’t like hearing our names over and over again, prefer using pronoun variables for comfort, my best guess is it’s a mix of two things. First, it’s a conservation of energy. Naming something with specificity requires effort, and naming something with generality requires less effort. We’d prefer to just not have to think so hard.

“Second, conservation of cortisol and our limbic system’s threat detection, because usually, hearing your name is a signal that something needs your attention immediately, can induce panic, like a new email alert tone. When there’s context, your name can be a really nice sound. When there’s less context, it causes stress. That’s my best guess.

“But I’ve been thinking a lot about why we would choose to use so many permutations of words to convey an idea instead of always trying to stick to the same words as the path of least resistance and best communication. I guess the best answer is that’s what makes us human. We derive so much joy from infinitely combining and recombining the elements to new and surprising outcomes, even at the expense of efficiency, even when it causes miscommunication. I guess that’s why writers write. When you find exactly the right new permutation of words, the link you can create with the receiver is that much more powerful. I’m not high right now.”

**John:** Two basic points here. The first is his pronouns argument, is that we use pronouns not just for simplicity, but also because it’s just more comfortable, because you’re not calling the person out every time by name. You don’t ring the bell as hard when you use the pronoun. Is that striking you as all accurate?

**Craig:** Yeah. I don’t buy the conservation of energy theory. When we talk about where we live, we don’t say, “I live in town,” although I suppose I say, “I live in the city.” There’s things that we refer to specifically all the time.

I do think that there’s something to the notion that your name is an attention grabber. Attention, what we know, if you keep ringing a bell over and over and over, it just starts to disappear. Our brains can’t handle repetitive alerts like that. Yes, that makes sense. It takes a little bit of the edge off of that. I agree. I don’t think he’s high right now. He might be high right now.

**John:** As he wrote this email, he probably wasn’t high. His second point is about basically, our language could be simpler. We could choose to speak in simpler words. We’ve definitely seen examples of cases where you’re limited now to 115 words you have to communicate. You can get it done.

There’s a game we played in the office a few weeks ago called Poetry for Neanderthals, where you can only use single-syllable words. It’s difficult, but it’s very doable to get your point across. The ability to mix things up and really surprise yourself and everyone else around you by how you’re stringing words together is what makes language delightful.

**Craig:** Agreed. I like your observation there, not-high-at-the-time Adam Lisagor.

**John:** We have some more follow-up on Esperanto.

**Craig:** Oh, god.

**John:** I love Esperanto.

**Craig:** We can’t kill this topic any more than we can kill the fake language Esperanto. It just keeps coming back.

**Drew:** You’re going to get a couple knocks on this one, Craig.

**Craig:** Of course I will.

**Drew:** Mark F writes, “One point that pricked up my ears was Craig’s reference to Esperanto being an aspiration of recent vintage. I just happened to be reading about Esperanto in the wonderful book, Humanly Possible, a historical overview of humanism by Sarah Bakewell. She includes a chapter on Ludwik Zamenhof, who originated Esperanto in the 1870s, with the ambition of making a universal language that would break down barriers and help promote a more humanistic civilization across cultures.

“An incredible part of the story is that Zamenhof developed the language as a teenager, but before he was able to work on introducing it to society, his father locked away all his language notebooks, to force the young man to focus his energies on studying to become a doctor. He was sent to Russia to study medicine, but when he returned, he discovered his father had actually burned the notebooks, at which point he started over and rebuilt the language from memory. Amazing.”

**Craig:** I’m really on board with his dad. I think Ludwik Zamenhof’s dad was spot-on.

**John:** Craig, this is the first time I knew that Zamenhof had worked on this as a teenager. That teenager idealism does still ring through in the language, in Esperanto. I’ve of course picked it up a couple times. It’s on my Duolingo little things I can study. It is clever in many ways. It’s so ambitiously unambitious in a way. It’s almost an example of how few words do you need, because it has a limited vocabulary by default, but it’s logical in ways that are all really appealing. No one is ever going to speak it in a meaningful way, because it’s just-

**Craig:** Ever.

**John:** There’s not gonna be any native speakers of it, and so therefore, it’s never going to catch on. I still find it delightful.

**Craig:** Regardless of when Esperanto was originally conceived and then burnt and then reconceived, culturally it did seem like it had a moment in the ’50s and ’60s and then rapidly went away. I’m sure there were lots of moments along the way, between 1870 and when it finally… Although again, it will never end. Esperanto is the Ayn Rand of languages. It’s just one of these things where it’s like, guys, it doesn’t work. Let it go. They won’t go.

**John:** Like communism. There’s never been a true communist country.

**Craig:** Exactly, nor will there be. There’s a reason for that. Now all the Marxists are gonna write in. Guys, it’s not gonna happen. Let it go.

**John:** But maybe like Marxism, you can say, what is it that’s fascinating about this idea, and how can you apply it to actual, real places where real people are living? Here’s my generous take on it. Looking at Esperanto and while it did work, it probably got a lot of people curious about how languages actually really do work.

That probably could’ve started a whole generation of folks who were more curious to learn about the actual languages that people out there in the world are speaking, and the quest for what is the universal grammar that’s underneath all these languages, like what is it about our brains that is causing us to create the same patterns again and again and again, and why languages broadly work in very similar ways, when we can imagine that they could work, that they just don’t work.

**Craig:** That is remarkably generous.

**John:** Thank you.

**Craig:** I don’t think Esperanto did a goddamn thing.

**John:** People with the little green stars, Esperanto speakers.

**Craig:** Esperanto speakers, yes, they can all talk to each other at the world’s most boring conference.

**John:** We will have universal translators very soon. Arguably, we have them right now in that-

**Craig:** Yeah, it’s called English.

**John:** Also, what’s on our phones right now, those translate features are really good.

**Craig:** They’re really good. They are really good.

**John:** It’ll become less important. Our last bit of follow-up here is about lingua franca, and it really pertains to this.

**Drew:** Chris writes, “As a fellow language nerd, I enjoyed Episode 607, but I have to correct Craig’s assertion that the term lingua franca derives from the fact that French was once the common language for international communication. In fact, lingua franca was spoken throughout the Mediterranean, where Europeans came into contact with people from the Middle East and Africa, for whom Franks was a general term for Europeans. Lingua franca was the language of the Franks.

“Scholars argue quite a bit about whether lingua franca really qualified as its own language or was more of a pidgin dialect, but in any case, the languages to which it was the closest were Italian dialects, not French. Some version of lingua franca was still spoken in North Africa into the 19th century, but a Frenchman would not have understood it.”

**Craig:** That is fascinating. I did not know that. Lingua franca is a combination of Italian and French and other stuff, but yeah, I guess more akin to Italian than… It’s its own language. It was the Esperanto of its time, except that it emerged, I presume naturally, as, Chris says, a pidgin dialect as opposed to-

**John:** Yeah, which is when you have people who can’t speak the same language have to figure out how to get along, you get a pidgin. Then if their kids speak that as a creole, which is a more formalized version, a new language is formed.

I want to defend you here, Craig, because you were talking about lingua franca in the way that we typically use it, rather than the historical terms, because we now talk about lingua franca as being the actual default or the bridge language in a place. English is a lingua franca for a lot of places, where it’s just like, the British language is the common language that people speak. If we throw in that Wikipedia link there.

**Craig:** Again, you’re being very kind. I think I just screwed up, because I’m pretty sure that, it sounds like, I can’t remember exactly, but I probably said something like, “Lingua franca, which comes from French, because that was the language of diplomacy,” which it was. I’m sure I referenced the Olympics and the fact that they constantly would repeat everything in French in the Olympics for some reason. It made sense in my brain, but I was wrong.

This is the kind of thing that… I have to say, some people don’t like people like Chris at parties. “Well, actually… ” But I do. By the way, I also appreciate that Chris did not use the word “actually,” even though I’m sure Chris really wanted to. Thank you, Chris.

**John:** He said “in fact,” which is the gentleman’s “actually.”

**Craig:** Could be a she

**John:** Absolutely. 100% true. I don’t know why I jumped to that conclusion.

**Craig:** Because you are a-

**John:** I’m a monster.

**Craig:** You’re a monster. You’re a cancelable monster. Thank you, Chris. I appreciate the correction. You are completely correct. I was entirely wrong. Now I know something that I can bother other people about.

**John:** I love it. Hey, Craig, let’s talk about the premise. Our marquee topic here in the weekly Inneresting newsletter, which is sort of the print version of Scriptnotes, Chris Csont had picked an old blog post I did back in 2016, where I was responding to something that Michael Tabb had written for Script Magazine.

In that, Tabb was talking about how a premise is the core belief system of a script and the lifeblood of a story. I was arguing, “What you’re talking about seems great. I really wouldn’t call that the premise. Greek scholars might call that the premise, but I would really say that is the thesis, that is the dramatic question.”

I wanted to talk with you, Craig, about what we mean by the premise, what we mean by a thesis, and really what we mean when someone says, “What is your movie about? What is your story about?” Because that about is really two very different things. It can be about what is the TV Guide’s synopsis, it can be talking about that log line, or it could be like, what is it emotionally about for the characters within, what is it about for the writer, what is the purpose behind the work. Sometimes when we have challenges talking with people about their work, I think sometimes we’re really not understanding what we mean by “about” when we ask, “What is this about?”

**Craig:** This is a great question. I tend to answer as follows when people say, “What’s your show about? What’s your movie about?” I’ll say, “What it’s about is blah blah blah, but what it’s really about is blah blah blah.”

What it’s really about, that’s the theme, that’s the central dramatic question, whatever vocabulary you want for that. What is it about to me is the plot premise, what’s happening, literally what’s the basic, simple thing of what’s happening in your show. What it’s about, it’s about the nuclear disaster that happened. It’s about a guy that has to take a girl who might have the cure for worldwide plague from point A to point B. It is the hardware premise, because that is the very first thing that will hit people’s eyes and ears when you put a trailer out, for instance, or a teaser.

**John:** That sort of log line description, for The Martian, is an astronaut stranded on Mars has to find a way home. That is a good example of, it’s explaining what the problem is and what the quest of the movie is. It feels like, oh, how would you do that? That’s intriguing. It feels like there’s a question mark to that.

Sometimes we’re talking about the story area. What is your movie about? It’s about Hawaiian indigenous rights. Great. Or it’s about fatherhood, which is a broad, general theme, but fatherhood is not a central dramatic question. It’s not a thing you’re necessarily grappling with.

**Craig:** I try and avoid topics as a premise, because a topic just is a topic. Okay, it’s about indigenous rights in Polynesia. Okay, that’s a topic. That can be a term paper. It could be a nonfiction book. But what is the premise of the movie or show?

**John:** If it’s about a tribal leader leading a revolution against some other people for indigenous rights in this one Polynesian island, that is specific.

**Craig:** A premise has occurred. We need to know what some big, huge thing is happening. Typically, it’s the big, huge thing that happens very early on that is the thing. Most people, by the way, out there in the world, the vast majority of the audience, will never get past that “what’s it about” when they’re telling other people what it’s about.

When we’re talking about this with potential people, to buy it, act in it, direct it, write it, whatever it is that we’re trying to get somebody to do when we’re communicating this within our industry, it’s very important to know the both what it’s about, because if it’s super high-concept, people may get very excited, like, “Whoa, these three guys get together to fight an outbreak of ghosts in Manhattan? Very high concept. I can see how that movie… It’s a comedy. Okay, got it.”

Then what’s it about-about? Then maybe in a circumstance like this, there’s very, very little. It’s about somebody going from being cynical to a believer. That’s cool. But there are other situations where, what’s it about, it’s about one baseball game of no importance, that happened in 1976, between two teams that weren’t even in contention, for a pennant. But what it’s really about is da da da da. Then you’re like, “Oh, this is fascinating.” We need to know both. It’s very important.

**John:** Not only do you need to be able to communicate both, you need to really deeply understand both. I was on a phone call yesterday with a young writer, talking about her project. Her two abouts didn’t really match up, because she could tell me both abouts. I just didn’t think they were fundamentally compatible. That’s really the heart of our conversation.

She was doing a period musical about a young woman trying to get over a breakup and move on. Okay, I see that as a plot premise, I guess, and her inner emotion. But what it’s really about is this writer’s own feelings of exile after being forced to leave the country.

I said, “Okay, I get those two things separately. I don’t see how you’re drawing the connections there. Okay, that feeling of exile and loneliness, sure, but I don’t see how those two things are going to tie together with everything else you’re describing here. I think maybe you’re going to have to honestly change one of your abouts, to get something that’s actually going to be writeable. I think the reason why you’re struggling is you’re trying to write two different incompatible movies. I think that’s why you’re finding it so difficult to have scenes that actually resonate and have a story that feels that it gets you to a meaningful conclusion.”

**Craig:** Yeah, it’s so important. There’s only one reason for the plot premise to exist, and that is to ultimately convey, in some form or shape, the “what it’s really about” premise. But there’s only one reason for the “what it’s really about” premise to exist, and that is to live inside of the “what happens” premise. They are connected, inherently.

Typically, we will think of a plot premise first. But the very next job should be, “Okay, but what would that serve? What could I learn or note or be fascinated by, even if it’s incredibly simple? What sort of thing would make this interesting once I have absorbed the reality of what it is?”

The opposite is also true. If we’re like, “You know what? I really… ” A lot of people start things with their own experiences. “I had an experience where I’ve lost somebody, and I experienced grief, and I want to write a story about grief.” Okay. “But also, one of my favorite things to do when I was a kid was skeet shooting. I want to write about grief, set against the world of skeet shooting.”

Your common love of things is not enough. They are not purposefully reflecting each other. They are simply living side by side. One has to purposely reflect the other. They must serve each other. It must make sense. Otherwise, like you said, you’re just going to have one thing floating on top of another, and nobody wants that.

**John:** If you have that inner premise and no external premise, the inner premise could be a great poem. You can just have free-floating feelings and analysis of questions. It could be an essay. But it’s not going to have characters and a story that can actually get you to a place, because that’s the social contract you’re making with an audience is that, if you’ve given your attention, I will tell a story that will be meaningful, and it will take you on a journey.

There’s not gonna be a journey if it’s just, “This is what I think about a thing.” If you just have a central dramatic question or this feeling you want to explore, that’s not gonna be a movie. That’s not gonna be a story. That’s just a thing. Maybe it’s a song. But that’s all you got.

**Craig:** Yeah, precisely. We sometimes get a little reductive about this stuff. That’s why I don’t like the whole pitch contest thing, even though I’ve judged them. It boils things down to only thinking about these premises like polishing these premises to sharp edges and points when they don’t need to be. They don’t even need to be interesting. The premise can be utterly boring if the “what it’s really about” is fascinating, and vice versa.

God knows how many times I’ve said it. We talked about it at length in the How to Write a Movie episode of our podcast. The “what it’s really about” of Finding Nemo is so banal and so dumb fortune cookie, it’s almost giggleable. But it’s what’s perfect about it, is that you sometimes want to take something that’s so simple and obvious and then explain it through the most remarkable premise, plot premise, so that you finally get it.

It’s weird. Sometimes the simplest things just fly right over our heads, because they’re so cliché, they don’t even sink into our skin. We need to be reminded through fascinating plots and vice versa. Sometimes the simplest plot is what you need to absorb something that’s very complicated.

**John:** Absolutely. I can think of many films I love, including many great indie films, where you look at the description, you’re like, “That’s not enough for a movie.” You Can Count On Me, it’s a woman’s sort of shiftless brother moves home. It’s like, is that it? There’s not a lot of plot, story to it. It’s terrific, because it’s actually exploring the rarely asked questions about how adult siblings get along and what the nature of that relationship can and should be. Both are good things. I’m saying, don’t freak out if they’re not equal weight for you. But they have to serve each other, no matter what.

There’s a project I’m hoping, whenever the Strike is resolved, to take out. I am genuinely very, very excited about the movie poster premise of it all and what you’re gonna see in the trailer, but even more excited about the “what it’s actually really about” of it all. Those two things I think are gonna marry really well together. I’d say I’m excited by the flashy, what’s in the trailer of it all, but I’m really excited to write the deeply what it’s about, if I get a chance to do so.

**Craig:** Fantastic.

**John:** We’ll hope.

**Craig:** That’s true. We have to hope. I don’t want to just go presume that it’s gonna be fantastic. I agree with you. First of all, we have to… You said, “Whenever the Strike ends.” If the Strike. Let’s just say if.

**John:** Oh, come now.

**Craig:** Come on.

**John:** Craig, no.

**Craig:** Craig, no. Craig. Craig.

**John:** Craig.

**Craig:** Craig. No, I believe it’ll end.

**John:** It’ll end.

**Craig:** Everything ends, John.

**John:** Everything ends.

**Craig:** Everything ends.

**John:** The heat death of the universe.

**Craig:** That’s right, John. One day the Sun will devour us.

**John:** Memento mori. Remember that you will die.

**Craig:** Craig.

**John:** Craig.

**Craig:** Craig, no!

**John:** Memento mori!

**Craig:** Craig, no! We should do some listener questions. We’ve probably built up quite a few.

**John:** We have. Drew, start us off.

**Drew:** Our first one comes from Johan on Twitter. He writes, “Hey, John and Craig. Is the whole starting a script with FADE IN actually just a myth? I think I see it in like 5% of the American scripts I’ve read through the years. Seems like a huge waste of space. Cheers.”

**Craig:** “A huge waste of space.”

**John:** Craig, do you write FADE IN?

**Craig:** No, but does it really seem like “a huge waste of space?” It’s one line. Who cares?

**John:** It is one line, but also, it’s the first line. If your first line is a useless line, I’d say get rid of it.

**Craig:** Look, I don’t use it. I think it is superfluous. Also, not every film fades in.

**John:** No, it doesn’t.

**Craig:** Often, you just start with a boop, where you just pop in. You don’t need to start a script with anything there than INTERIOR, EXTERIOR, blah-dah-dee blah, or even not.

**John:** Or not that.

**Craig:** You could start with just we hear a bunch of sounds or whatever.

**John:** Or just an image, because it’s not even clear where you are.

**Craig:** Exactly. That said, it is not “a huge waste of space.” It is precisely line. You can absorb it.

**John:** Absolutely. Now we’re gonna get all the people who are so angry at us. It’s like the CUT TOs and the we hears and the we sees.

**Craig:** I like that. Do it.

**John:** Do it. Write in.

**Craig:** Let them fight.

**John:** Waste our time. Waste Drew’s time, because he won’t put it in the outline for us.

**Craig:** It seems like a huge waste of time. What’s next?

**Drew:** Patrick writes, “Apart from supplying the budget, what services do the studios actually provide during the production of a movie? If you got the money elsewhere, as per your billionaire episode, would you still need to work with the studios? Equipment, studio space, crews, cast, post facilities, marketing companies, etc, are all available elsewhere, right? Are studios just glorified banks? Is it all about the distribution?”

**John:** Aha.

**Craig:** Cutting right to it.

**John:** He’s challenging the fundamental premise of the studios.

**Craig:** I think he’s confirming the fundamental premise of the studios.

**John:** Craig, you can talk us through. Also, Drew just graduated from the Stark Program, so he’ll have a perspective on what studios do. Craig, start us off.

**Craig:** I think Patrick’s put his finger on exactly why we do use them. Studios are, in fact, a combination of a distribution facility, a bank, and an advertising agency. That is what they are. The rest is what we do. But what they do is they pay for it, they advertise it, and then they put it out. That’s it. That’s what they do.

**John:** It’s easy to confuse the fact that they have physical lots where you can shoot films, and they obviously have some equipment there, and they have facilities there for doing post. But of course, Craig and I will both tell you that so often, a show that is for CBS will actually shoot on, like, Universal stages, because that’s what was available. It’s not like they’re always shooting their own things on their own lots. They do that wherever they could do it.

There are, of course, lots of movies that were made completely outside of the system. There are independent films and other things that are sold after they are produced, to a company that distributes them. But it’s that distribution function and marketing function that’s really, I think, the heart of why there still is a modern American studio system.

**Craig:** Yeah. There are stages everywhere.

**John:** Everywhere.

**Craig:** There are post facilities everywhere. Sometimes when things are independently financed, you take away the bank aspect of the studio, but you’re still maintaining the marketing, the advertising aspect, and the distribution aspect, which is why independent films are constantly looking to get distribution from studios. That’s sort of how it goes.

**John:** We talked about Legendary Pictures. Legendary, it’s kind of a studio. They definitely have money. They do their own development of stuff. They can put stuff in production. They have money to put stuff in production, but they’re not a distribution company. I’m sure they have a lot of sway in the marketing, but they don’t have unilateral control over the marketing of things.

**Craig:** That’s right.

**John:** They partner up with other companies for distribution. Drew, any insights that you have from having just completed the Stark Program and knowing… You’ve had a studio management course recently.

**Drew:** You guys have nailed it. I think marketing and distribution is obviously so key. I think it seems so easy for indie producers or indie filmmakers or people outside the studio system, that we would be able to jump in, and the idea of, oh, you can get some money together and make a movie. But without that distribution… Marketing costs, I think it’s a million dollars per 100 screens, just to try and get you to the place where you’re gonna break even on that money.

Then I think for people, for writers and for artists, it becomes an institutional check too. You can try and make a career outside of it, but I’m not sure. I think you need to have that to have a certain longevity.

**John:** Maybe so. One point I want to make about distribution is you need an ongoing distribution program. Basically, you can’t just spin up in a distribution company once, to distribute one movie, and then wind it all back down.

**Craig:** Correct.

**John:** You need to have ongoing people who do that, not just so you have the expertise to do it, but also, to collect the money that you made in those theaters, you have to have another movie coming out, so you can say, “Hey, deadbeat exhibitor, before we give you this next movie, you gotta pay us what you owe us.” That historically has been an incredibly important part of why studios who have spun up and done one or two or three years of movies have failed, because they couldn’t get the money back in, because they didn’t have the ongoing pipeline of product.

**Craig:** Money goes out instantly, comes back slowly. You also need a library to keep you afloat. You need to have the ability to absorb that slow return. Also, when it comes to distribution, there is a leverage when you’re dealing with…

Let’s just deal with theaters, which are having a nice little bounce-back. Hooray. There’s a limited amount of theaters. Do you want Batman? Yeah, you do want Batman if you’re a theater owner. I need you to also take this thing. You get to where, as if you just have this thing, and they’re like, “We don’t want to show that.” I don’t have a Batman to make you show it.

You’re absolutely right. There is a reason why the only new studios that are appearing are from companies that are already enormous. Really, Netflix was kind of the only one to emerge without having been a legacy studio or a preexisting massive entity, like Apple or Amazon. But even then, Netflix has absorbed an insane amount of venture capital. It is a massive endeavor to start one of these things from scratch. The war field is littered with the bodies of companies that tried and failed.

**John:** We’re phrasing everything in terms of movies, but the same thing happens in TV. If a studio has a TV show that they’ve made, that they want to then sell around the world, they need to have a team that sells that show around the world and collects the money from around the world.

If they have Designing Women, and they want to sell it to Portugal, and some Portuguese company wants to air it, they have to make that contract, enforce that contract, collect the money. That’s just a lot of overhead. You can’t expect one individual to do that. It just takes a lot of people and bodies to do it.

**Craig:** It takes a lot of people, which is why you can’t really create one of these things as a single-use entity, because the amount of people required, lawyers, financiers, to keep the pipeline functioning, it just is not warranted by a single-use entity.

The HBO is an interesting case, because they have certain, unlike Netflix or Amazon or Apple, which is just one worldwide, or Disney Plus, for instance. Everybody just logs on to the one thing. HBO still has linear. They have Max. They have Max LatAm. They have Max Nordic. There’s some local versions of it around the world.

Then for most places internationally, they’re making good old-fashioned distribution deals. For instance, in the United Kingdom, HBO material, through a deal that the studio made with Sky, is shown on Sky in the UK. In Canada, it’s shown on an outlet called Crave. Every single one of those deals has to be negotiated and forced, managed, renewed, evaluated. John, the amount of PowerPoints, we can’t imagine. We can’t imagine.

**John:** Obviously, Craig doesn’t have to worry about each of those individual deals. Craig might be asked to go to travel to some place to hype up the show as it’s being released in Canada, but he’s not responsible for negotiating the Canadian deal.

**Craig:** I don’t have to do any of that.

**John:** He doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to.

**Craig:** Thank god, because I would be like, “I’d love for Canadians to see it, but guys, how about just free? It’s free.”

**John:** It’s free. It’s free. I remember Rachel Bloom came to Paris while I was living in Paris, because Crazy Ex-Girlfriend had just started airing on its new network, and they wanted her to go there and promote it. She’s like, “I’ll go there and promote it.” We hung out. We drank some wine. It was nice.

I don’t want to get off this topic though without saying that just because it’s hard to build up an entire studio distribution marketing arm doesn’t mean that it’s hard for any given billionaire to make the production part of it. The production part of it’s actually the easier part. You make a thing, and you sell it to a distributor who does all the rest of that. We would love more people to do that, to do what Legendary does, to do what other companies have done to create that, because that’s awesome.

**Craig:** There is a lot of money in the world. There are only a few studios that are capable of marketing and distributing a film. Yes, lots of money. Now, traditionally, investing in movies and television has been a great way to lose a billion dollars.

**John:** Absolutely. It’s like opening a vineyard. It’s like, oh, it’s a great way to make a little money off of a lot of money.

**Craig:** You know how to make a million dollars in the wine business? Start with a billion dollars. It’s definitely a thing. But it has always been, I think for a certain segment of independent financiers, a labor of love. Patron of the arts is a thing. Nobody who supports the production of Broadway shows, for instance, nobody goes into that thinking, “I’m gonna make a gazillion dollars.”

**John:** “I’m gonna be rich.”

**Craig:** No. You are doing it because you love it. Now, you may still be a hard-charging guy who’s probably corrupt, because Broadway accounting makes Hollywood accounting look absolutely spotless. Nonetheless, the point is, you can make a whole lot more money just handing it to a hedge fund and just sitting back.

There is still a value to the Medici-style patron of the arts. Those people exist. Those entities exist. Every now and then, a very wealthy scion will go into that business. The Ellisons, for instance, both Ellison siblings have done so.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** And have led to the creation of some fantastic stuff.

**John:** Absolutely. You look at the success of A24, and as horribly toxic as they were, The Weinstein Company at its peak recognized the ability to make and market a certain kind of movie and distribute a certain kind of movie that did really well for them and did well for the industry, at least in terms of the quality of material they were able to put out there and some of the artists they were able to introduce. I don’t want to say it’s impossible to do it, but it’s not possible to compete on the big studio level with just a billion dollars.

**Craig:** No, it is very difficult. It may be the case that the lesson of the Weinsteins is that it’s only possible to be successful in going to war against those big studios if you are an absolute shameless son of a bitch. But who knows?

**John:** Who knows?

**Craig:** Look. A24, there are companies that do quite well.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** I don’t mean to take things away. A24 really is the new Miramax. They really are. They seem to be doing it quite well.

**John:** Fantastic. Let’s try one more quick question here.

**Craig:** CR asks, “I want to ask if having log lines or summaries of some of my original unsold scripts posted to a personal website with a prompt saying, ‘If you’d like to read this, please contact me at whatever email for the full script,’ is remotely a good idea. I’m friends with several amateur artists trying to break into their respective industries. One does a web comic posted to her personal website. She was telling me to start finding ways to give myself an internet footprint, so if someone wants to find me, there’s something to find. She recommended a website.

“The only problem is, what do I put on this website if I have nothing sold? I can’t just put up random pieces of writing like an artist might post sketches. I thought about putting final versions of original scripts I have up, but I’m not sure if I’m comfortable just having my unsold scripts there for the taking.”

**John:** My first instinct is, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. I just don’t think that’s actually gonna be successful for you. I’m curious what our listeners think, because we obviously have 10 years of aspiring screenwriters who have listened to this podcast. I’m curious whether any of them have done anything like this and found it to be successful in terms of getting people to read it.

My other instinct is, let people read your writing, but maybe just put up the first 10 pages so they can see, and if they want to read more, they can read more. Craig, what’s your instinct?

**Craig:** I don’t understand why you can’t put up random pieces of writing, like an artist might post sketches. Throw a couple of scenes on. Throw one scene on. Throw one scene on with a storyboard. Maybe your friend who does a web comic can… Throw her a couple of bucks and have her do a little… Why not? I don’t understand why. Nobody wants to read a whole script anyway. Everyone hates reading scripts.

Also, you say, “I’m not sure if I’m comfortable just having my unsold scripts there for the taking.” What are you afraid of? You have the copyright on them. They’re there. You’ve published them on the web. Register them with the United States Copyright Office for whatever it is, 100 bucks, and then put them there. Why worry? Dude, no one’s stealing your script, man.

**John:** No one’s stealing your script.

**Craig:** No one’s stealing it.

**John:** If it’s on the web, an AI will scrape it. They’ve already scraped it. But you know what? They’re gonna scrape everything anyway. We can’t stop it.

**Craig:** You should be so lucky, because then you can point back and say, “This was copyrighted.” Now the people that scraped it and folded it into whatever have to pay you a lot. No, I think there is no problem whatsoever. Think about this. Photographers do it all the time.

**John:** True.

**Craig:** Photographers take a picture. It is their copyright. They put it on the internet. Anyone can take it, copy it, and stick it somewhere. People don’t stick it in anything that’s actually legit and moneymaking, because they’re gonna get sued, and it’s gonna cost them money. They’ll throw it all over a bunch of crap that isn’t gonna make money, but also, they’re not pretending that they took the picture. I just don’t think this is a problem.

I think, I have always said this, the paranoia that people are gonna steal your unsold script is not warranted. You should be far more concerned about the odds, the minuscule chance that somebody who can make a difference in your life is also gonna find it and also gonna read it and also gonna like it. That tiny, little lottery victory is worth the chance that some dingdong somewhere is gonna take your pages and put them into his unsold script. It’s not a problem.

**John:** It doesn’t happen.

**Craig:** It doesn’t happen. Even if it did, you would have recourse. I just wouldn’t worry about it.

**John:** Agreed. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is a holdover from our live show. We were gonna do One Cool Things. We ran long, and it was messy and chaotic.

**Craig:** Just say Natasha Lyonne. My belovedly messy and chaotic Natasha Lyonne.

**John:** My One Cool Thing is an article by Danielle Campoamor in Marie Claire. Headline is, We Need to See More Parents Having Abortions in Film and Television. The point is that if you look at, in film and TV, whenever you do see a character having an abortion, it is a young, unmarried white girl. That’s not actually the majority of abortions in America. It’s actually people who already have children are the ones who are getting the most abortions in the US. So rarely do we see that portrayed on screen. Literally, in 2020, of characters who had abortions on film, 73% were white, and one third were teenagers, and not a single one of them was a parent.

It’s just arguing for, we need to have representation of what reality is, because people see themselves in that and see the choices they need to make reflected in those characters. That gets people thinking about abortion in a different way, because I think our image of what it is is just that unmarried teen mom, and that’s just not the reality. It’s actually people who already have multiple kids and are deciding whether to have another child.

**Craig:** I completely sympathize with this. I think it’s important to get that message out. I’m not sure drama is necessarily the best way to do it. The problem is a little bit like showing… I bet you if we cataloged the portrayals of leukemia on film, you would also see a predominance of children and teenagers, maybe kids, or rather, young adults in their 20s. What you wouldn’t see are a lot of people in their 70s or 80s or something like that, because nobody cares, because it’s not dramatic.

The problem is the reality of abortion is it’s not dramatic. This is just the stark reality. It’s not dramatic. People who are in committed relationships, with three kids, and a woman gets pregnant, and they decide rationally, oh yeah, no, actually, this was not a pregnancy we wanted. She goes to a clinic. She goes to a gynecologist. There is an abortion. It’s done. Move on. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying it’s fun. But it’s not dramatic.

That’s specifically the point I think that Danielle’s making is that what we tend to concentrate on is the overdramatic abortion scenario, a 13-year-old white girl, because white girls. Oh, god, white girl. That’s what we concentrate on. Therein lies the problem, is that we are dramatists.

We’ve talked about medical shows and legal shows. They’re soaking in this problem. They’re just not building medical shows around the mundane medical needs of people, nor are they building legal shows around the vast predominance of legal cases, which are boring and result in settlements between people in quiet rooms.

I understand. I think it’s a fair critique. I think the critique needs to be acknowledged. I think it is important. For instance, what I would argue is that at the end of an episode or a movie about or that contains such an abortion storyline, it would be important to actually put this information up on screen. That’s more, I think, actionable than just forcing non-dramatic situations into a product that is supposed to be entertaining and dramatic. It’s a tricky thing to do, but that’s where I would go with it myself. I’m sure no one will have any thoughts or comments about this.

But as somebody that actively and aggressively supports reproductive rights and access to reproductive rights in this country, I just want to make sure that we don’t end up getting stuck on too much of a hook as dramatists, to portray situations that are inherently not dramatic.

**John:** The article itself actually points out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend as an exception to the rule, because on that show, Rachel and Aline had a character who was a mom of two kids, who had an abortion. It wasn’t a big deal. I think it was such a smart choice to have the character who was facing this decision not be Rachel Bloom’s character, but her friend, who is a central character, but is not the unwed young mother. I think there are definitely ways to do it.

I guess, Craig, I would just challenge that it’s not necessarily that we need to wedge this into more things. I’ve not even seen a movie that it happens in, or it even be the central thing in a movie. I’ve never seen it come up as an issue in this stuff. It feels like it could. There’s gonna be interesting ways to do it, and unexpected ways. We have such a stereotype of who a character is who has an abortion. It’s great to always challenge those stereotypes.

**Craig:** I completely agree with that. Listen, I guess in a way, I’m almost being more aggressive about it, by saying that we should just put facts on screen, white letters on black, and just say, “What you’ve just seen is a dramatization, or is drama. Understand, however, this is the reality,” da da da da da da da da da, to aggressively deromanticize and dedramatize the truth of how abortions occur, not only in our country but around the world, and have always done.

But I agree with you. I’m not suggesting that it’s not possible to do. Of course it is. Nor is there a way to do it in a way where there is no burden of drama on it. Really, what I’m saying is I don’t want to unfairly judge works of art that do portray-

**John:** I get that.

**Craig:** … the most dramatic form of abortion, particularly because I suspect in most of those dramatizations, the characters do end up either having an abortion or relaying a positive perspective of that essential reproductive right. Could be wrong about that.

**John:** I think what we’re both saying is we don’t need fewer portrayals of abortion. We want more portrayals of abortion, and among those, maybe a broader range of experiences.

**Craig:** With an acknowledgement of the truth, because I think what Danielle’s writing about is incredibly important. People don’t understand how this actually functions. We are typically, in this country, always afraid of the wrong thing.

My One Cool Thing is just as much of a hot topic. It is not. We gotta take a break from some of the serious stuff and talk about things that are even more serious, like Dungeons and Dragons. Oh, boys.

**John:** It’s Dungeons and Dragons adjacent. You don’t actually have to play D and D to play this game.

**Craig:** You don’t. This is sort of exciting. Again, not for everybody, but for boys and girls who are dorks like us, and who do like role-playing games. There is a new board game out. This is not a typical role-playing game of the sort you might see on Critical Role or the kind that John and I play on a weekly basis, sometimes on a biweekly basis. This is a board game version of Dungeons and Dragons that is playable in one shot, I think they estimate over the course of two hours, which is not wildly nuts. It’s like a nice, long Monopoly game. It’s called Dungeons and Dragons: Trials of Tempus.

This is an officially licensed product, so it gets to use all of the characters, classes, spells, and so forths from Dungeons and Dragons. It was created by two friends of mine, along with a fellow I don’t know, Adam Carasso, and then my friends, Thor Knai and Kyle Newman. It’s excellent if you enjoy nerdery like we do.

What’s really interesting about it is you get to do something that we generally don’t get to do when we’re playing D and D, which is fight against each other. You get divided into two parties. The two parties are rivals in an heroic adventure. Normally, when I’m DMing, technically I suppose it’s like the DM versus the players, but I think that makes you a bad DM. I think it’s the DM with the players. The point is we’re all gonna get through this and have a great time and go through highs and lows and all the rest. This is more of a traditional “our team wins.”

It’s got all sorts of D and D-ish things about it. I know the overlap between D and D players and board game players is almost 100%, so I think you might like it. Check it out, Dungeons and Dragons: Trials of Tempus, freshly out, available online and all sorts of places, including Schmamazon.

**John:** I checked this out when I was at your house this last time. It is beautifully put together. It’s in a very heavy box. It’s full of figurines and cards and things and all the accoutrement that you love in a board game. I’m excited to play it with you.

**Craig:** (Speaks French.)

**John:** (Speaks French.) That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt.

**Craig:** Wow.

**John:** It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Adam Pineless. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also a place where you can send questions. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. Craig, we gotta talk merch.

**Craig:** Oh, god.

**John:** We have T-shirts, and they’re great. They’re at Cotton Bureau, including the new Scriptnotes University T-shirt and sweatshirt.

**Craig:** Fantastic.

**John:** Craig, have you even seen this?

**Craig:** No, but I want a Scriptnotes University… Is there a hoodie?

**John:** Of course there’s a hoodie, but also just a normal sweatshirt, a collared sweatshirt.

**Craig:** I never wear those.

**John:** I’m gonna paste a link in the Workflowy here so you can see it.

**Craig:** What I need is a hoodie.

**John:** There’s hoodies.

**Craig:** I’m getting one.

**John:** Our hoodies are good.

**Craig:** You know Cotton Bureau, by the way, used to make the blank T-shirt in the Stuart tri-blend?

**John:** They don’t do it anymore?

**Craig:** They don’t do it anymore. They stopped.

**John:** Oh, wow.

**Craig:** It’s such a shame. I’m checking out… I love the look of it. Oh, but this doesn’t show me… Oh, it doesn’t have a hoodie. Oh yeah, it does.

**John:** It does have a hoodie, yes.

**Craig:** But it’s not a zip hoodie.

**John:** Oh, you want a zip hoodie.

**Craig:** Yeah, I want a zip-

**John:** We’ll figure it out.

**Craig:** John.

**John:** We’ll figure it out.

**Craig:** John.

**John:** The problem is the zipper would go through the logo itself. That’s the problem with a zip hoodie.

**Craig:** That’s absolutely true. Ugh.

**John:** It has a pullover crew neck. The pullover crew neck is what you would think about for a sweatshirt.

**Craig:** What about doing a zip one where you take the Scriptnotes University and just make it a bit smaller and put it on one side? I don’t want to screw up our merchandise methods. I’m just saying. A tank top? Wow. Who’s walking around in the Scriptnotes University tank top? That’s cool. Aw, there’s a onesie. Aw.

**John:** There’s a onesie. See?

**Craig:** Aw, so cute.

**John:** Make them for everybody. This was inspired by a Scriptnotes listener who wrote in. She wants to remain anonymous. She said, “I really feel like I learned more from Scriptnotes University than I did from actual film school. I really want a Scriptnotes University T-shirt, sweatshirt.” We’re now making this for her and for everybody else. If you zoom in, you’ll see that the little logo at the center has a typewriter. It’s surrounded by brads. It says “scriptum notas” and “ira and ratio,” which is umbrage and reason.

**Craig:** I love it. I love it.

**John:** Established 2011.

**Craig:** Established 2011, Scriptnotes University is objectively superior to every film school in the world and costs far less. I’m just saying it. I don’t care. I’m saying it now constantly. It’s just a fact. I know you guys went to Stark and everything. I’m just saying it. It’s a fact. We’re just better.

**John:** Speaking of college, any listeners who are college students, reminder that you can get Highland 2 for free for the student license. You just write in. There’s a link in the show notes. Also, just go to Quote-Unquote Apps. If you have a student ID, if you have a student dot-edu address, you get it for free. Why would you not want to do that?

We also have the new XL version of Writer Emergency Pack in the store at writeremergency.com. You can sign up to become a Premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one Craig and I are about to record about going back to school.

**Craig:** Back to school.

**John:** Craig and Drew, thank you so much.

**Craig:** Thanks, guys.

**Drew:** Thanks.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Oh, Craig. Megana was back from her trip, and she texted you and me, saying, “Oh, I was at Target, and I saw that it’s now spooky season, because they have Halloween stuff out.”

**Craig:** Freaking August.

**John:** Megana, it’s not spooky season yet-

**Craig:** it’s not.

**John:** … because it’s still back to school season. Back-to-school season is the best time of year. I loved back-to-school season. I didn’t like necessarily going back to school, but I loved school supplies. I loved stocking up for the new year.

**Craig:** Always fun, yes. Fresh, new stuff. Crisp, new stuff. I was the sort of kid that would just ruin his notebook or binder over the course of the first two months. To have a fresh, new binder, a new notebook, with that weird marble cover that makes no sense, all of that stuff was wonderful, and getting my new pencils, and pens, which we weren’t really allowed to use, until we were in, what, 7th grade or something?

**John:** For a while, we were allowed to use the erasable pens, which-

**Craig:** Those stank.

**John:** I’m sure they still exist, but no one uses erasable pens anymore.

**Craig:** What was it called, Paper Mate?

**John:** Paper Mate.

**Craig:** Paper Mate. Those stank. Poor lefties were just erasing their little-

**John:** That smear.

**Craig:** It was just so sad. Those stank. Protractor.

**John:** Oh yeah, compass.

**Craig:** Compass, all that great stuff. That weird eraser, that big, chunky, pink, trapezoidal, or parallelogrammatic.

**John:** I want to know, how did that form come to be, because where it’s slanted, it’s-

**Craig:** It’s a parallelogram.

**John:** It’s a parallelogram. That’s what it is.

**Craig:** It’s a parallelogram.

**John:** On the side. It’s a parallelogram extended as a solid.

**Craig:** What was it? Was it a Pearl? Was that what it’s called, Pearl Eraser?

**John:** Yeah, Pearl Eraser. Yeah, Pearl Eraser. A very distinct smell.

**Craig:** So distinct.

**John:** You’re not rubbing through the paper, but you can smell that burning rubber to it.

**Craig:** You know what? It’s by the Paper Mate company, and it’s called the Pink Pearl Eraser. It is one of those products still available, of course, that seemingly will never change. The script on it that says Pink Pearl and all that, it just will never change.

**John:** Why would you change it? It’s already perfect.

**Craig:** It’s kind of perfect. It does have that weird smell. Occasionally, it would crack.

**John:** Yeah, because it would dry out over the course of the year too. It was much better when it’s fresh out of the package.

**Craig:** Everything is.

**John:** A few months in, it’s pretty bad.

**Craig:** Everything is better. Also, we did have new clothes, which in my case meant going to Sears and buying-

**John:** Sears or JC Penney’s.

**Craig:** Yeah. On Staten Island, you would go to Sears, and you would have to buy all of your winter clothes, because that’s when they were available, because for some reason, they would only have winter clothes in the summer and summer clothes in the winter, which made me crazy. We were all in the same lower middle class economic stratum. We would get to school, and everybody’s wearing the exact same coat, this weird polyester thing with fake fur and a bright orange inside. Did you have that one?

**John:** I didn’t have that one, but I know exactly what you’re talking about. I also had this maroon color coat that was my coat for a couple years.

**Craig:** There was that. There were your jeans, your new sneakers. Everything was fresh, fresh, fresh.

**John:** You did not have hand-me-downs, because you were the oldest.

**Craig:** I was the oldest, yes.

**John:** I got a lot of hand-me-downs.

**Craig:** My younger sibling was a girl, my sister. She wasn’t really getting my stuff. That’s probably why our stuff was so shitty, because you could only use it once. It was all really cheap. I had a lot of Wrangler shirts. You know those Western style button-downs?

**John:** Oh, yeah.

**Craig:** You’d get a haircut. Your hair’s all combed. You had to look super clean and neat on day one. This ended on day one. Day two, you could be an absolute rolling, lice-filled wreck. But day one, spotless.

**John:** Now, did you have school photos on day one, or was it in that first week? When were your school photos taken?

**Craig:** That’s a really interesting question. I can’t remember. Maybe it was in the first couple of weeks.

**John:** I think it was the first school week. I do remember, because there was another day where you had to actually look pretty good and bring a comb, or they’d give you one of the incredibly sharp, painful, disposable combs to run through your hair. Every year, I would have to get my photos retaken, because I just could not smile properly.

**Craig:** Was there some… Emotionally damaged or-

**John:** I would make the wrong choice in that last millisecond before the shutter went off.

**Craig:** Was it the kind of thing where you would smile and everybody would be terrified, like look evil?

**John:** No. I would just be looking away or something. I would get nervous by the eye contact.

**Craig:** I do remember, it was always like every year, you would just be in the same arrangement. I was generally taller, and so I would be in the back, next to my tall friend. Man, every now and then, somebody will send me something like, “Oh my god, look. Your former classmate, who’s on Facebook, put this thing up from 3rd grade.” They’ll copy and send me the photo, because I’m not on Facebook. I’m just like, “What am I wearing? What is this weird, horrible, nylon disco outfit that my parents have put me in?” It was just nightmarish.

**John:** I think it’s more fun to look at what the teachers were wearing, because the teachers were actually indicative of what adults were wearing at the time. Like, oh my god, how was that comfortable? That looks like polyester death.

**Craig:** Everyone was wearing some sort of plastic clothing.

**John:** Not a tri-blend. No. It was actually just all plastic.

**Craig:** A uni-blend of some sort of cancer fiber that we were all breathing in. You know what? It was also a lovely time, because I’m sure it was like this for you, for us in New York, the weather was getting cooler. Finally, summer was ending. Fall was sweeping in. Fall in New York is lovely. There’s also all the fun fall stuff. It’s not spooky season. I just want to be clear. It was just more like apple cider and whatever. I don’t know. Leaves.

**John:** I remember we would get the Ditto machined copy of like, this is what you need to bring for your school supplies. I just loved that, checking off the things. You had to bring a box of Kleenex, because somebody, mostly me, I would go through all the Kleenex is the classroom, because my nose was always runny.

**Craig:** You were the snot kid.

**John:** I was snot kid, because I had terrible allergies in a time before people understood what allergies were, apparently.

**Craig:** Interesting.

**John:** Now, I take medicines for them, but at that time I didn’t have them.

**Craig:** There was always a kid with snot. I guess it was you.

**John:** It was me.

**Craig:** Then we would also have to bring a shoebox, which all the girls or resourceful boys or non-resourceful boys’ mothers would cover in wallpaper or newspaper or something to make it look pretty. That was our school supply box. We would have our Elmer’s glue and our safety scissor and whatever else was on that Ditto sheet, which I’m sure, Drew, you are absolutely falling asleep here, but let me just wake you up for a second and explain.

We did not get emails listing what we required. No. A teacher hand-wrote a list of things on this toxic piece of disgusting purple paper, that was then stuck to a large roller, coated in even more disgusting purple fluid. Then they would roll it with their hands. As they would roll it, it would stick onto another piece of paper, send that piece of paper off, pull in another piece of paper, and thus, like a small Gutenberg printing press, made of purple death. Each one of those things stank, and yet we all loved the smell of it.

**John:** You did, because you’d get a fresh Ditto machine, you’d just stick it up to your-

**Craig:** Everyone.

**John:** Stick the paper up and inhale it, yeah.

**Craig:** Everyone was snorting whatever was in that. I don’t even want to know what was in it. We were absolutely huffing paint, in the classroom, by the way. The teacher would be like, “Go ahead, kids. Snort it up.” Then we would go to work. That’s what we would get. What a time. What a time to be alive.

**John:** My olfactory memories of that age are so distinct, because I also remember when you have heads down for Thumbs Up, Seven Up on a rainy day, I remember what the desk would smell like. It would smell like this weird cleaner, whatever they used to clean the desks. I have that memory firmly in my head.

**Craig:** Same. It’s funny, you went to school halfway across the country from me, and our desks smelled exactly the same.

**John:** Absolutely. It was not quite urine, but it’s almost that. It was an ammonia-ish kind of thing to it.

**Craig:** It was ammonia. It was this weird, rank ammonia smell. It’s a disgusting smell. The desktop was some horrible, again, plasticky, lacquery thing.

**John:** It looked like wood, but it was not wood.

**Craig:** It also had a little bit of a sour milk smell to it. It just was disgusting.

**John:** Craig, did you have a number line taped to the top of your desk?

**Craig:** Of course we did. Of course. We all had a number line when we were learning addition and subtraction. Also, lining up in size order. Drew, did you ever have to line up in size order?

**Drew:** Yeah. I was always at the front because I was tiny.

**Craig:** Aw.

**John:** Aw, little Drew.

**Craig:** Aw, little Drew. Oh my god, he was in the front.

**John:** We were almost always in alphabetical order, especially if we were going to lunch, because we had to go through the lunch line. If you were buying lunch, they would check your name off on the little logbook.

**Craig:** I see. That actually makes sense. Lining up in size order seems unnecessarily cruel to everyone on either extreme of the line. Even if you weren’t on the extreme of the line, if you put two boys, if they happen to be next to each other in the size-order line, there would almost certainly be a shoving fight over who was taller. Just pointless. Why? What is this size order thing? Who came up with that? What does it even matter what the order is? What does it matter?

**John:** They want to make sure Drew gets his milk first.

**Craig:** Because he needed it. They’re like, “There’s only one thing that’s gonna make this kid grow: warm, under-refrigerated milk.”

**John:** In a cardboard container.

**Craig:** That has the picture of a lost child on it.

**John:** Indeed. Drew, what are we forgetting about back-to-school?

**Drew:** Oh, my god.

**Craig:** He’s like, “You guys are from a different time.”

**Drew:** No, the smell is real, but I can never delineate where the smell is cleaning product and what is just the smell of children.

**John:** That’s true.

**Drew:** Maybe that sounds strange, but-

**Craig:** It really does sound strange.

**Drew:** It does.

**Craig:** That’s really upsetting.

**Drew:** Should probably walk that back, but yeah.

**Craig:** I just like the idea of a small Drew just walking around, just sniffing.

**John:** Sniffing.

**Craig:** Everyone’s like, “Oh my god, what is with that kid? Oh, leave him alone. He’s small.” They didn’t know what the Ditto fluid was. Ditto fluid.

**Drew:** I wonder when they retired the Ditto machines, because I definitely went to a school that did not have up-to-date equipment by any stretch of the imagination, and we didn’t have one, which makes me feel like they must’ve-

**John:** At your point, it was all photocopies, right?

**Drew:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Here’s a website that says mimeographs, that was the technical name, “The classroom chore that smelled so good.” I’m just looking to see if they actually identify what was in there. The duplicator fluid was methanol and isopropanol, so basically-

**John:** Alcohols.

**Craig:** … alcohol, but non-drinkable alcohol, the kind of alcohol that makes you blind. That’s what we were snorting. Hooray.

**Drew:** In my generation, we had the markers that ended up, I think had to be the same stuff that kids would just stick straight in their nostril.

**John:** Craig, you and I didn’t really have markers as much, because even Sharpies were late in my career. We had some marker things, but it wasn’t a default thing. I didn’t go to school with Crayola markers at the start. Did you?

**Craig:** They were much later on. We typically went to school with a box of Crayola crayons. The classic was the 64… I have one. I bought one of them just off of eBay for two bucks. I loved it. It was a proper 1970s era 64 Crayola crayons with the crayon sharpener in the back, which didn’t-

**John:** Good stuff.

**Craig:** … sharpen shit.

**John:** No, but you didn’t really need to. Of course, the pink color was labeled Flesh, because that was the default white.

**Craig:** Yes, Flesh was that, yes, was a slightly whitey peach-ish. I don’t even think Flesh was my color of flesh. It was really for John and Melissa.

**John:** Basically, yeah. It’s a difference between my very tanned legs and my very pale ankles. It’s the pale ankle color.

**Craig:** It’s the pale ankle color, yeah. Flesh, it was like, oh, you’re very light. That is back when things weren’t quite the way they are. There was also Indian Red. That was a color, Indian Red. They’re not red, and they’re also not Indians, but okay, Crayola. That’s how we grew up. We had the Crayola thing and, oh yeah, man, the tape. Magic Tape was a huge deal.

**John:** Oh, Magic Tape, a huge innovation.

**Craig:** Yes. Before Magic Tape, Drew, regular Scotch Tape was shiny as hell.

**John:** Yeah, it was shiny and gross.

**Craig:** You’d put it on something, and it would just reflect like a mirror. Then somebody over there came up with this matte finish, called it Magic Tape. It was invisible. Everybody lost their crap.

**John:** Those 3M scientists, we don’t talk enough about the innovations they had. Magic Tape. Then they had the Post-It notes.

**Craig:** Oh my god, absolutely. They’re geniuses over there, absolute wizards.

**John:** Oh, question for both of you. Were you required to… You got your textbooks, or your math book or your science book.

**Craig:** Cover it?

**John:** Did you have to put a cover on them?

**Craig:** Yep.

**John:** Was it like part of your task is, okay, now you have to put on this cover?

**Craig:** Book covers, yes.

**John:** Loved them.

**Craig:** Which I bet you made your own book covers.

**John:** Yeah, out of paper bags, for sure.

**Craig:** I knew you would. I knew it. Now, you’ve seen me attempt to do crafts, so you know that I could not. My mom would have to do it. Then eventually, I got my sister to start doing it. If it ripped in class, you would get in trouble. I don’t know why. I would ask one of the kids sitting next to me. I’m like, “Can you fix my da da?” Then they would, because everybody just understood I was helpless.

**John:** They would rip off a piece of their shiny tape and fix your book cover.

**Craig:** Yes, just so shiny. So shiny. Inside the textbook, sometimes it would be like “this book is the property of” and then there’d be one kid after another, and it’s stamped. What was that about? Who needs to know?

**John:** I loved that.

**Craig:** Yeah, like, “Oh my god.”

**John:** They had the history. “Did you know that some of these kids are dead by now, and they owned this book.”

**Craig:** Absolutely.

**John:** They got sent off to war.

**Craig:** Correct.

**John:** Some of these people who were reading this book had been sent off to Vietnam, and I’m reading this book.

**Craig:** I’m reading this book on vocabulary, and the last kid who had it died in Inchon. It’s all very grim. I gotta say, man, every generation has its ups and downs and things, but you know what? Generation X, we’re pretty great.

**John:** We’re pretty great.

**Craig:** Does anyone hate us? I don’t think anyone hates us.

**John:** No, because we’re a small generation too.

**Craig:** We’re small. We’re kind of like, “Whatever, man.” We were still there when computers came around. We reminisce, but not like, “And our way was better.” We’re usually reminiscing in a way of like, “God, that sucked.” We like everybody except the Boomers. Nobody likes the Boomers. Let’s face it.

**John:** We grew up mostly with a fear of nuclear war.

**Craig:** Yeah, we’re terrified. We’re all right.

**John:** We’re all right.

**Craig:** Last question for you, Drew, on back-to-school week. Are there people that don’t like Generation X, or is there a generation that you think is opposed-

**Drew:** To Gen X?

**Craig:** … naturally to Generation X?

**Drew:** I don’t think so. I think you guys are truly safe, because my generation looked up to you. I’m firmly Millennial. We looked up to you. You were creating all the content when we were growing up. I think Gen Z likes you much more than us, because we’re very cringey to Gen Z, because we’re very cringey in general.

**Craig:** Yeah, you guys are special. You know what? It’s not your fault. Your echo Boomers. You’re the children of Boomers. You are trying to outrun a legacy in your blood, and you’re doing all right.

**Drew:** We can’t escape it though.

**Craig:** It’s tough. It’s a tough one. That was amazing. I wish it were back-to-school week every week.

**John:** I love it. Drew and Craig, thank you so much.

**Craig:** Thanks, guys.

**Drew:** Thanks.

**John:** Bye.

Links:

* [AI-Created Art Isn’t Copyrightable, Judge Says in Ruling That Could Give Hollywood Studios Pause](https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/ai-works-not-copyrightable-studios-1235570316/) by Winston Cho for The Hollywood Reporter
* [Thaler v. Perlmutter](https://www.scribd.com/document/665871482/Thaler-v-Perlmutter#)
* [The Mandalorian, Loki, And WandaVision Are Getting Limited Edition 4K And Blu-Ray Releases](https://www.slashfilm.com/1371265/mandalorian-loki-wandavision-getting-limited-edition-4k-blu-ray-releases/) by Ryan Scott for Slash Film
* [Lingua franca](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lingua_franca)
* [Where Story Begins – Premise](https://scriptmag.com/features/script-notes-where-story-begins-premise) by Michael Tabb for Script Magazine
* [The premise, or what’s the point?](https://johnaugust.com/2016/the-premise-or-whats-the-point) by John August
* [We Need to See More Parents Having Abortions in Film and Television](https://www.marieclaire.com/culture/a35802152/parents-having-abortions-on-tv-films/) by Danielle Campoamor for Marie Claire
* [Dungeons & Dragons: Trials of Tempus](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/385546/dungeons-dragons-trials-tempus)
* [Highland 2](https://quoteunquoteapps.com/highland-2/)
* [Writer Emergency Pack XL](https://store.johnaugust.com/collections/frontpage/products/writer-emergency-pack-xl)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* Craig Mazin on [Threads](https://www.threads.net/@clmazin) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/)
* John August on [Threads](https://www.threads.net/@johnaugust), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/johnaugust)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Adam Pineless ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and is edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli).

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/610standard.mp3).

Scriptnotes, Episode 606: Character and Story Fit, Transcript

August 11, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/character-and-story-fit).

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Heads up that today’s episode has just a little bit of swearing in it.

Hello and welcome. My name is John August, and this is Episode 606 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

How do you know if you got the right characters for your story, and whether you got the right story for your characters? To help us solve this crucial piece of matchmaking, we welcome back Pamela Ribon, a screenwriter whose credits include Moana, Ralph Breaks the Internet, and the new Netflix feature, Nimona. Her short film, My Year of Dicks, was not only a previous One Cool Thing, it’s also an Oscar nominee. It made Craig giggle every time I said it. Welcome back, Pammy.

**Pamela Ribon:** Hi. Thank you for having me.

**John:** I’m so excited to have you on the podcast again. Full disclosure, you moderated a session very recently about screenwriting, and your questions were so brilliant so insightful, and you’re leading of the discussion. I actually suppressed my need to take over all those things. You know what I’m talking about.

**Pamela:** I do. This is the highest praise I’ve ever received. Thank you so much.

**John:** They were so, so good that I stopped myself in answering questions and didn’t try to redirect the question. I recognize you as a fellow podcast host. If at any point you feel you need to elevate yourself from just guest to podcast co-host, feel free.

**Pamela:** I will be your Craig as much as you need. I will take umbrage, but you will find that I’m a more empathetic umbrage person.

**John:** Yeah, but you have strong opinions though, and I like that too. You have strong opinions about craft. I really want to dig in and talk about craft. I also want to talk about recapping, because you were a recapper. I want to talk about that relationship between writing about film and television and writing film and television, what that is. I’ve got some listener questions. I’m excited to get to it.

Also, for a Bonus Segment for Premium members, I want to talk about your podcast, because you have a podcast called Listen to Sassy, which is all going through the back issues of Sassy Magazine and discussing the relevance then and the relevance now?

**Pamela:** Yes, and the official issues of Sassy Magazine, because there are some that we might say aren’t canon.

**John:** Wow. I did not even know that. I’m learning even as we start this podcast. Hey, let’s jump into this. Let’s talk about character and character fit, because this is a large part of the discussion we had a few weeks ago as we were talking. You started with a really smart question, which was, what is your favorite character that you did not create. I don’t remember what your answer for that question was yourself. What is a character that you wish you had created?

**Pamela:** What’s interesting is I wouldn’t have answered this in any other room, but the room we were in and the conversation we were having led me to answer Annie. What I’m going to say right now is Paddington in Paddington 2.

**John:** Let’s talk about Paddington in Paddington 2, because it’s a great movie. It’s a great character. Talk to us about, why is that a perfect movie for Paddington to be in, and vice versa.

**Pamela:** Part of why Paddington is perfect in Paddington 2… That movie is perfect. Perfect movie. This movie, imagine like double XL. This movie is perfect, because when you know what Paddington wants, from being a little bit in a book, which only this movie could do, from us knowing his backstory, which just happened, we’re just in. We’re just in. I remember saying out loud, “This is perfect.”

It’s not easy. I was so awed by how you can bring every single person in the whole wide world to understand, what if I could walk this person I love through the world, because of the book. I just need this book. I grew up with The NeverEnding Story and Annie. I think in the room, I answered Annie.

**John:** You did. I remember you answering Annie.

**Pamela:** Definitely. You love her.

**John:** Annie and Paddington are similar characters, in that they are not hugely flawed characters who have to learn a valuable lesson that transforms them. They start the movie with clean and simple wants. The movie wants to give it to them, but will make it difficult along the way.

**Pamela:** I think I am drawn to those characters, like in Whale Rider, or going all the way to the other end, secretary. I think I am drawn to characters who know who they are, but the world doesn’t understand them.

**John:** That’s so fascinating, because usually we think about, movies are journey of self-discovery, so over the course of the movie, the character has to learn about themselves and challenge their assumptions about what they’re able to do, in order to conquer the problem in front of them and to transform the world in front of them. They have to transform themselves in order to transform the world.

I think I brought this up in the room. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie Bucket is not a character who has to go through a big arc. The character in the book, he is a good kid from the start. I kept fighting these studio notes from like, “Oh, Charlie has to want it more. We have to see him struggle.” No, he’s actually a good, perfect kid. He does need to change the world around him, but he’s changing it in the way an antagonist changes the world, rather than protagonist. He doesn’t have to exit the movie profoundly changed from how he entered into it.

**Pamela:** I always think of characters are moving right, being right. I have a problem when they’re always moving right, always being right. I do think you have to find this balance of, you’re right, the world needs to know you’re right, and because the world is bending, you actually learn you can be wrong inside that right. That’s that end of second act feeling of, “Oh, shit. I didn’t have it all figured out, because no one let me grow.”

**John:** Let’s back up and talk about character and story fit, because I think so often, we are lectured that story comes from character, character want is what drives story. It’s true, but also, that’s generally not the starting place for an idea.

An idea is generally about like, “This is the world in which I want to tell the story. I want to tell a story about a character who does blank blank blank.” Then you’re backing into, who is the best, most appropriate character to put into that story.

It’s not so clean. It’s like, “I’m going to create a character in a vacuum and then set them in a world for a story.” That just never happens. It’s not a thing that a writer almost ever really experiences. Instead, they’re like, “This is the place in which the story needs to happen. Now we need to find who is the perfect character to tell that story.”

I’m wondering if we can talk about some animated movies, because they often are cleaner ways to get into this. For something like Moana, which you were writing on, was this like, “We want to tell a story about Pacific Islanders and this universe,” and then you had to find a character, or was there a clear like, “We want to tell a story of a chieftain’s daughter who goes on this quest.” What was the back and forth between the two of them?

**Pamela:** It’s a little of what you said on both sides, and also neither, let me say.

**John:** Perfect. That’s what it is. It’s complicated.

**Pamela:** It’s very complicated. I come in right after Taika Waititi had written a draft. My first day was a table read, which you’re just in the story trust, day one, like, “Welcome to this.”

I would say a lot of times, I am brought in when people are very comfortable with structure, they understand where they want it to go, but perhaps their female character could use some help owning the film.

**John:** Making sure they’re not a passenger in the film, but actually driving the film.

**Pamela:** Maui’s a very dominant character. In Taika’s hands, he was beyond charismatic, so what do you do? Moana at the time was only 13. She had a bunch of brothers. She wasn’t allowed to sail because she was a girl. That is where we started during my time there.

**John:** A lot had been done before you got there, so it wasn’t a completely clean slate. When you’re thinking about a movie from scratch, it’s that balance. Most of our listeners are probably thinking of their own thing they want to do. They will look through books that will tell them, oh, story comes from character. We’ve said it on the podcast. They may be beating themselves up, like, “I need to find this perfect character, and then the story will come out of that.”

That’s not necessarily a good solution, because I’ve had experiences where I absolutely love this character, I’ve been down a draft with a character, and I love this person, and they are just not the right person to base this movie around. I made the wrong choice. We often talk about how sidekicks steal movies, because they are characters who are just more interesting to watch in the world that we’ve created for ourselves.

**Pamela:** They’re there because your protagonist has to be on a straight line, and so they aren’t always allowed to be so chaotically funny. We enjoy our sidekicks, because they can just keep nudging at that protagonist, to say, “I think you need to change. I think you need to change. What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see what’s wrong with you? Isn’t it better to live like me?” That sidekick has some growing to learn. The protagonist is what’s actually going to help the world.

**John:** Exactly. I think back to Big Fish. For the adaptation of Big Fish, there’s a book that I could base it off of, but the book is really thin, and it only has sketches of these characters and situations. I went into the adaptation knowing who Edward was, knowing who Will, the son, was, which is basically a proxy for me. I knew that Will had a French wife, which I just created because I needed someone for him to talk to. Then I had to figure out everything else.

Those characters can feel very functional along the way. They’re getting me through a section of story. Then the trick is to make them feel like those were characters who were always there, who always had a reason and a purpose and own their life, you could make a story about them, even though they really were just functional for me in this story to tell this one bit of it. It’s that sleight of hand, where you feel like, oh, any one of these people could drive the story, but of course they couldn’t, because it has to be about this one time, event that this one character is going through.

**Pamela:** Going back to the question you asked me earlier, this is not true, but Taika likes to joke that all that’s left in the script from what he did is exterior ocean day. It’s not true. It’s not true, but it’s a very funny joke.

That was the part, going back to that question, that was interesting, because you had so many scenes that had no walls, they had no props. You’re two people maybe, or just Moana, on a boat. Ocean. Exterior ocean day. That is not a world that is populated.

When you think about moving on to something like Ralph Breaks the Internet, where the whole world is very important. In fact, you can’t make some of these characters exist until you understand what this internet world looks like in the, quote unquote, room they might be in. You’re like, “Oh, I understand a knowledge base, a data search engine was that character.” In terms of Moana, you have the endless sea.

**John:** Can I ask you a question? I remember looking at the initial posters. I went in and saw early art on Moana. I got a talking through of who the different characters were. Some of those characters did not make it through to the movie. I can say that specifically there was a poster that released that showed the pig on the boat.

I feel like my instinct was that some of those characters were brought along on the journey just so there would be stuff to do on those boat journeys, as we were off on sea, exterior ocean day. They ultimately were not crucial to the story. They probably got trimmed, maybe late in the process. That’s the kind of discovery that can happen in animation particularly, because you just got to keep iterating and iterating and iterating. Without spoiling, revealing any NDA stuff, am I kind of right?

**Pamela:** Listen. Look. How old is this? Are these NDAs still happening? I feel like I’m just going to tell you. First of all, like I said, she was younger when I was writing on the script.

I can talk to you about Pua, who was named Kuni [ph] when I was working on it, because kuni means pig. So does Pua. That pig originally went with her, because you also learned how she had rescued this pig as a little tiny runt that was going to be left to die. She brought that pig home and raised that pig. That was her pig.

There was something about having Pua along on the journey that made the stakes a little too high. I totally understand this was past my time, but you’re just like, “She can’t just leave the boat.” I knew this feeling. She left the boat to go somewhere else. You’re like, “I don’t care about Hei Hei, but you can’t leave Pua. He’s such a sweet piggy.”

**John:** No one cares about the chicken.

**Pamela:** Yeah. The sweet piggy can’t be… It became too high of stakes, actually, for her to continue her journey. I do understand Pua’s going to stay home, because otherwise, you’ve brought a puppy on your boat, and how are you supposed to leave that puppy in a lava realm? You just can’t. It’s too scary.

**John:** Let’s talk about the room and animation, because we had Jennifer Lee on the show, and she was talking about her experience on Frozen and coming in at a place where they had a lot of the pieces, and they couldn’t make all the pieces fit. A lot of it was figuring out, “Okay, what do we have here? How do we get back to this central relationship? How do we make this all work?”

As a feature writer, I’m mostly used to working alone, or I get notes from a person, or I work with a director. There’s TV writers who are used to working in a room of other writers. As an animation writer, you can find yourself in situations where you’re at these big tables, where it’s not just other writers, it’s a bunch of other people from other departments. You’re all having to talk through these things. You’re having to figure out how do we synthesize these ideas and get back to a place.

If you’re the writer who’s coming in on a project like Moana or Ralph Breaks the Internet, how do you take all that in and synthesize this and give them back something they need? At what point do you stop talking and start writing and show scenes? What is that like for you?

**Pamela:** Much like in TV, it’s different in every room. It’s led by that showrunner, who will be your director, or directors. They set the tone. Moana and Ralph and Smurfs, so whatever, each one is a very different room.

I would say what’s interesting, coming into animation when I did, was a real specific change, probably Pixar led, of, hey, a writer might have something to say in this room and might have some reason to be talking to you.

What I found really cool was, this might be because I moved around a lot, but part of it was looking at each room and going, “Oh, okay. Oh, so now I’m talking to mostly visual artists,” whose brains are already adding. They take a sequence and think of it as five minutes. They’re already adding and plussing, which is why we have the best stuff in animation, because each person is really filling it to the top of their own game.

How do you talk to that person without stifling them, while also explaining, like, “You don’t have to think about the other 88 minutes, but I do. This scene is great. Put everything you want in it, but just make sure this happens and this happens and at the end it’s this. If we can do that together, if you do that on your own… ”

I think I prefer working with storyboard artists, because they’re able to give me what exterior ocean day looks like, or interior Fale night. I don’t really know what that means. Interior Ebay day. Once I can see what they see, I can show them what I think they should say. Then together, we can make something that you can pitch back to a director, that is more fully formed than either of us can do on our own.

You don’t get that option often in a TV writing room, unless you’re off in a B-room or whatever, and you’re all like, “Let’s hope these jokes make it.” It’s the same skill.

**John:** In TV though, you don’t have the chance to iterate, where you see, “What was this? What did it look like? Great. Now let’s go back,” because in TV, ultimately you’re still delivering a script, which will then go off to another group of people who will make the show. You’ll have, hopefully, writers there to help oversee it. You don’t get that chance to like, “Oh, everyone’s looking at the same thing. What are we going to do for this next pass?”

**Pamela:** I started in more multi-cams. You did have a rehearsal. Everybody’s on their feet. Everybody’s giving input. You also have a lot of weird downtime, because you’re a staff writer, and learning what to do with all of that time and then learning what everyone else does. I would say for any room I’m in or any job I’m on, while doing the job, I also want to know, what can I learn from this?

**John:** Of course.

**Pamela:** I would say that, from working in IBM tech support before I moved out to LA, all the way to anime dub jobs or working in reality television and recapping, all of that leads into what I’m doing in a Disney room, where I’m talking to people who are seeing what I’m saying, before I’m even done saying what I’m saying, and just knowing how to pick up all these words, which you do as a writer once you’re in the edit bay or you’re in casting or whatever. These are just different words. It’s their language.

**John:** Now, I have made a lot of animated movies, but weirdly, the movies that I’ve worked on have been much more like traditional features, where I’ve delivered a script, here’s the script, or I will get reel back, but then I’ll change stuff in the reels. It’s not been that sort of collaborative thing, because it’s mostly been stop-motion.

In stop-motion, you get that one shot to shoot something, and there’s not the iteration there is in either traditional animation or computer animation. We don’t get to do the kinds of things you see in Disney features. I remember going in on some Disney features that I was shocked what a mess the project was, and like, “Is this coming out in a year? Are you serious?”

**Pamela:** That’s a good screening five is what I’m going to guess, when you’re running screening four, screening five of a-

**John:** I’m like, “Oh, god.” Then somehow, it does come together, which is just remarkable. It’s a strange thing for me to see. You have to trust the process that you’ll get there, to the right place. I guess you don’t always get to the right place, but you often get to the right place.

**Pamela:** It’s tough to trust the process, I think, depending on where you are in the situation. How do you trust the process when you’re not given access to the whole thing all the time?

**John:** That’s the thing. In many cases, I haven’t gotten full access, or it was so clear, the movie is shooting in London, and I just know they’re going to make it happen, or it’s Tim Burton, he’s going to shoot exactly what’s there, and so it’s going to work.

Giving up control for any writer on any project is part of it. It’s recognizing that it’s never going to be exactly what you saw in your head. With animation, sometimes the timelines are so long and the iterations are so many, that you could really lose a sense of what the intention was.

**Pamela:** Yeah. I think the trick is knowing that you’re usually not the first, and probably not going to be the last, unless you’re like, “This movie’s coming out in six months. I got it. I got it. I’m going to get credit. It’s going to be great.”

You just stay very invested, in the time that you’re there, to do the thing that you know the movie needs the most work in, which is either our main characters, our dynamic of our most important relationship is not zinging, or, “Man, this first act is too long. How can we care about them sooner?” and shoot the movie.

Animation in particular I think needs long first acts, that eventually we cut, once the movie is like, I feel this moment, the movie has begun. That takes a little while to find.

**John:** The gears click in.

**Pamela:** Yes, because the last thing animation looks for are characters.

**John:** Say more about that.

**Pamela:** They start from a world that’s impossible to do in live action, or you do it in live action. You have to start in this like, “What is the internet? What would the internet look like?” Just taking that one as an easy answer.

Once you try to figure out how a place can be both something you’ve never seen before and a place that feels like, “Of course I’ve been here, because I’m here all the time theoretically, but I’ve never seen it,” then you’re like, “Who should go through this journey and make us feel the most like us going through this crazy world we’ve never seen before?”

**John:** Yeah, but in this case of the internet, you have characters you’re bringing back for another movie. Yes, you’re going to create supporting characters who are going to be exactly right for that, but you cannot create your two central characters. You have to create a world that is going to challenge them and their relationship and still be rewarding for the world itself. That’s a big ask.

**Pamela:** That’s very astute, because you’re taking two characters who only know old-school video games and an arcade that’s not visited as often, because there’s this internet. What would they do in this infinite world?

There was a want at one point that kicked off the movie. It didn’t last, but it’s still one of my favorites, where Vanellope could see a little bit beyond the door every time the arcade was closed. The only thing she could see was Yoshinoya beef bowl. She just wanted to know what that… It just sounded so perfect.

**John:** Oh my god, what a great lyric to sing. (singing:) Yoshinoya. Yoshinoya.

**Pamela:** (singing:) Yoshinoya beef bowl. She was just like, “Doesn’t it sound perfect? I just want to know what it is. I want to eat it if I can, or swim in it if I must. I just want to know what that is.” That was that idea of eventually Slaughter Race, of, I want to know this thing that makes me feel like that’s where I’m supposed to be. Originally, they were just going to get online and try to find the Yoshinoya people. I think we moved into bitter yearnings.

That’s the idea of how do you get a character that you know and love, in a sequel, how do you get a character you know and love to want just the next step, so that you have the same wonderful feelings that you’re visiting your old friends, but you have a new adventure? That’s very hard in a sequel, because your protagonist is arced.

**John:** Yeah. They’ve gotten all the way through it. Toy Story, god bless them. Those characters arced and arced, and we’re going to make them arc more. It’s a challenge.

**Pamela:** We’re going to get hard in there. We’re going to cause forever scars on people who watch this.

**John:** Let’s go back to some of your forever scars. I want to talk about recapping, because for folks who don’t know, could you explain what recapping is or was? Because I feel like there’s a whole generation that may have just not experienced this as a thing, but it was so important to me as a person who was growing up on the internet.

**Pamela:** First, imagine the internet as a place where you read. You just read. You go there to read more about what you saw. It is something you’re doing to look like you’re working. That’s what’s great about the fact that it’s a lot of reading. You look very busy.

Television Without Pity started as Mighty Big TV, which was actually an offshoot of DawsonsWrap, which Tara Ariano and Sarah Bunting and Dave Cole had made, which was recapping Dawson’s Creek episodes. It’s the idea of, you’re sitting on a couch with a friend, and the two of you are talking the entire episode of your favorite guilty pleasure, because it’s way more fun to watch something like that with a friend.

When Television Without Pity came out as Mighty Big TV, I don’t even remember how many there were the first year, 10 shows maybe. I don’t know. It was a bunch of us that had been writing on their other sites, like Hissyfit and Fametracker.

**John:** What year would this have been? I looked it up on Wikipedia.

**Pamela:** Is it ’98 or ’99?

**John:** It’s ’98. ’98 is when the first one was.

**Pamela:** I know where I worked. I still have my first recap handwritten in a Mead notebook. It is 20-something pages, handwritten, of Get Real. Get Real.

**John:** Get Real.

**Pamela:** Do you know Get Real? You shouldn’t, but let’s see if you can remember one actor from Get Real. It was on Fox on Wednesday nights.

**John:** That helps. Greg Evigan?

**Pamela:** Nope, but I love where you’re starting.

**John:** Tell me who. Give me an actor.

**Pamela:** Anne Hathaway.

**John:** Wow, Anne Hathaway on a Fox show.

**Pamela:** I’m not done. Are you ready? Eric Christian Olsen.

**John:** Oh yeah, of course.

**Pamela:** Jesse Eisenberg.

**John:** Wow, nice.

**Pamela:** Taryn Manning. Jon Tenney, and others.

**John:** That was the same year as Go. It was when we were filming Go. It’s that caliber of those people.

**Pamela:** I was learning about you while I was writing for Get Real. The reason that most people didn’t see it and it didn’t last forever was, it was on opposite a new show called The West Wing.

**John:** Yeah, I’ve heard of that show. There’s a guy, Aaron Sorkin was the guy who wrote that.

**Pamela:** Yeah, he’s still around. I hear he’s still doing things. Good for him.

**John:** You were assigned to recap Get Real, or you volunteered to recap Get Real.

**Pamela:** I was assigned it.

**John:** What does a recap consist of? The show’s airing live on Fox. How quickly are you supposed to be putting up this recap? How long was a recap? Really, what is the purpose of a recap?

**Pamela:** It morphed over the years. I moved on to things like Gilmore Girls, which I did for five years. Over the years, and as it got popular, we had to deal with what those demands were.

I would say originally, you had to record that so that you could watch it again. Later, we used to have to do these recaplets, which were very fast, here’s what you missed, if you were just waiting the next morning to find out what happened, and you missed it, because you used to be able to miss television.

Essentially, you would then write these, I did call them dissertations, because they felt that way, where you took each scene or each episode and talked about where the characters were on their journey, what was happening, and often, how you felt as a viewer watching this. That led to jokes, and sometimes inside jokes.

I had these two patron saint of televisions, I don’t know if you remember this, from gift shops. There were these glow-in-the-dark Saint Clares. And they were the patron saint of television. And I had two under my TV. And I used to let them sometimes do some dialog when I was bored with an episode.

You would just try to make an entertaining recap, which was, “Here’s what happened scene by scene. Here’s where it’s working. Here’s where I don’t like it.” It’s weird to say now, because it does feel like it’s common now to see these versions everywhere. They would be 12 to 20 Word doc pages of deep diving into what’s going on.

The people who were reading it and writing back, that was also really early internet feedback, a forum that was super popular, that then became something that you know people in LA and writers’ rooms were reading and changing the writers… It makes so much sense to me now that a writers’ room is obsessed with the one thing writing about writers.

**John:** That’s what I want to get into, because that feedback loop has to be really strange. It would be impossible if somebody were recapping my show and actually deep diving into it, to not read that thing and think about that thing, because that person is a super fan, but also a super critic. It’s the person who wants the show to be better, the person who’s studying the show more obsessively than-

**Pamela:** Anyone.

**John:** … some of those writers in the room.

**Pamela:** It’s your actual audience in many ways, and accessible in a way that we had not had before. It’s not a Nielsen. There’s no dial I could hit. I was telling you, “Here’s where I felt my intelligence was insulted. Here’s where I cried and called my mom.” That’s feedback. How could that not affect a room?

I think often now about a story editor or a co-producer who read a recap and was like, “That’s fucking what I said. When we were pitching this out, I knew this was a problem. No one listened to me. Now here she is saying this is insulting and I wish it were this.” I wonder what it did to a writers’ room back then to have anybody validating someone whose job in the room is to not be validated, but to be a part of the room.

**John:** The tone of recapping was also very specific, because it was love, but it was also snark. We were coming out of Spy magazine, Entertainment Weekly. There was a tone there that was very specific. It was smart. It wasn’t mean, but it was poky.

Did you ever scale back your snark? How did you moderate the tone of these things? A Gilmore Girls, it feels like you’re going to approach that differently than you would approach maybe a reality competition show. Talk to us about that.

**Pamela:** That’s why I didn’t really do many of those. I have a lot of thoughts about snark, having grown up with it, into it, and out of it. I think for me, snark was important. I don’t know that we need snark right now. I think snark at the time was important to say, “Can’t we do better than this? Is this enough? Is this okay?” I think now when we say, “Is this okay? Is this enough?” we say it like we all know that this is wrong and someone isn’t addressing what’s already wrong. I think snark at the time was, we’re just supposed to be fine with this, but we all know that maybe this is not good enough.

I would see sometimes snark taken to a mean place. That was just never the idea. We’re not just here to call this person an asshole. Let’s back it up with some things.

**John:** It’s important to note that recaps are always talking about the characters and not the actors. Is that correct?

**Pamela:** Yeah. Yes. Sometimes that actor blurs. Sometimes you’re like, “This actor is acting in my scene with a character.” I couldn’t recap now. I definitely couldn’t.

When I started working in reality television, where I was a logger, which meant I watched unedited footage of The Bachelor, in the middle of the night, until 5:00 in the morning, and wrote everything I saw, and flagged anything that was maybe interesting to a writer. That’ll mess your brain up.

**John:** I’m sure. It just burns a hole. It’s like doing coverage on scripts, where just like, “Oh god, I’m reading all these scripts. None of this will ever get made. I have to write this detailed synopsis of the things that don’t actually make sense.”

In the case of logging, you’re just looking at all the raw footage and seeing is there any moment that’s worth pulling out here, so that the editors can snip that out, and some assistant editor could keep in a bin to put into the cut. Lord.

**Pamela:** I was a pretty good logger, but I shouldn’t have been a logger, which is probably true to anybody, if you read what I wrote. I had to watch two hours of Lorenzo Lamas on a motorcycle. Not a lot to pull from there.

**John:** No one should have to do that.

**Pamela:** I watched a guy make salmon. I also watched a girl sit alone in a room that they wouldn’t let her leave, waiting on a date that was running late because of time, just because of producers and the show. That wasn’t what they were going to show. I ended up making a fake monologue for her, because I couldn’t stare at this shot of a girl sitting alone at a table, not moving, for two hours of my own life.

**John:** You weren’t allowed to fast-forward through that?

**Pamela:** No. What if she does anything interesting?

**John:** I just feel like a little command-J there and speed through there and just see if she’s now… Wow.

**Pamela:** You’re also supposed to, a little bit, transcribe. Sometimes someone would open the door and be like, “Are you thirsty?” She’d be like, “I’m okay.” If she rubs her nose in a way where you could use that clip later-

**John:** That’s right.

**Pamela:** … that’s it. You’re watching the whole thing. I also got the flu during that. It made me have an idea for a book that I wrote, because I think that’s what my brain does is when my time is being wasted, I start thinking a way out.

**John:** What this could mean, how this could be worthwhile outside of this impossibly not worthwhile thing you’re doing.

**Pamela:** Where that helps in animation is you can get so stuck on a moment that needs to happen that nobody can back all the way up. Also, most of the people in the room shouldn’t back all the way up. A writer can go, “Okay, oh my gosh. I’m just going to take a hundred steps back and look. Why are we doing this? What needs to happen later? Why are we even here right now? We know what needs to happen later.”

I think that is the benefit of a writer in the room with everybody at the intensity and sophicity [sic] level that storyboard artists have to and should be owners of what they’re given, and the director or directors have to be owners of thousands of people asking them questions.

The benefit of your writer, if you know what to do with your writer, your writer just looks at you and goes, “That’ll work,” like in surgery. “That’ll work. This is great. That won’t work, and I’ll tell you why.” A director that can be a little bit flexible with the writer, and think through that without feeling like someone’s yanking your Jenga, that’s a great writer-director relationship, to go, “Thank you. You are my scaffolding. Will my characters be okay through this new shiny thing that I think is really funny?” You just figure out all the iterations so that you can keep all the parts you really loved and get rid of the parts that weren’t working.

I think by the time you get to screening seven or eight, I always think of them as seasons, you’re like, “We have the villain from Season 2 talking to the love interest from Season 4. Now it’s really going. It’s all the things we liked in Season 1. It’s all working.”

**John:** So often, as I come in to work on movies that are going in production or about to go in production or in crisis, it is those conversations where everyone has their opinions. They’re trying to make their movie, but they’re not all the same movie. As the writer, I have to come in and understand which movie each person’s trying to make and get them onto the same page and honor the choices that they’re trying to do and get them to all making the same movie. It’s a writing skill, but it’s very much a psychology skill.

**Pamela:** Definitely.

**John:** It’s being comfortable in the room, making people feel heard, but also leading them to a decision. It’s like a hostage negotiator.

**Pamela:** I always think of it as the therapist. “How does this script feel for you today? Are you up here? Are you down here?” The difficulty is, some of the people in the room are empowered all the way to level 10, and some people know they’re actually level 11 or 12 or 13, but they haven’t told anyone. You can sense as the writer, where you’re like, “Oh, I can help this person’s vision, but it’s ultimately this group’s mandate. How can I make everyone feel good and still be myself? Why did you bring me in? You could hire a therapist, but you actually need someone who can make these characters sing in the way that you’re all hoping for, the feeling you’re looking for.”

**John:** It’s always so tough when you’re trying to deal with the actor and the director, and you realize the actor and director have tension with each other about a completely unrelated thing, that is sometimes a wardrobe thing, and that you’re not going to be able to get an agreement on the two of them on the story point because of this other thing. You just have to accept that and, again, do your best work and try to provide what the movie needs, even if it’s not necessarily solving this crisis moment right in front of you. It’s tough. Sometimes just remembering that it’s hard and it’s not your fault that it’s hard. It’s hard because it’s hard.

**Pamela:** It’s hard because it’s hard. I think what’s unique about animation is you do get a lot of shots on goal, and so you can hear what you heard in the room and what you recorded and all the different takes that you asked, because you couldn’t possibly guess. They’re not in a room together. You don’t often have these actors acting together. You’re putting together does this feel right. You’re like, “Oh, you know what it is, is we rushed this part.”

You can go in the edit bay and record something really fast and put it up in scratch, and see does that work, where you’re just like, “I’m so sorry, Ralph. I didn’t know.” You’re like, “Does that make everything better?” Before you’ve booked everybody and cost all this money, you can try it in these little places. There’s no other world where you get to do that.

**John:** In live action features and television, you can do some little things. You can put in some scratch. You can make some experiments. You’re never going to really get people back. If you’re ADR-ing lines, something’s gone wrong generally, so it’s tough.

**Pamela:** In animation, you have so many more chances to have them. What you don’t want is for them to come in and go, “What happened to this awesome arc I used to have?” They’re like, “We had to throw it out, because it turns out you’re not the main character.” These aren’t things you can say. One shouldn’t, if you want your actor. You want all the talent to be as excited as they should be about the part that they’re in, because they’re so great. How can you keep a lot of it from them, so that they don’t feel, “Oh, it’s my responsibility to get back to what it used to be,” because it isn’t. It just isn’t. Nobody’s working against their talents.

To be able to be in a room and have everybody scratch these characters a lot, which is what we did in Ralph, it was five or six of us doing all the voices, until we were like, “We’re ready to go.” Then an actor could really go forward with these scenes.

In the case of that film, there were some actors who wanted to be in the room together when they acted, and we could make that happen. Then a lot of times, it was just me reading with Gal Gadot, just being like, “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. It’s going to be fine. I’ll just sit here in a room with Gal Gadot and hope she likes it.”

**John:** If you’re in there with Gal Gadot, are you playing Sarah Silverman’s character? Are you doing the voice opposite her?

**Pamela:** Yeah.

**John:** It feels kind of right?

**Pamela:** Yeah, so she has something to play with.

**John:** Fun.

**Pamela:** And vice versa. I also was Gal for Sarah. You want them to be able to look at… They have someone to look at. You’re in a room that has nothing. Exterior ocean day, interior recording studio afternoon. Nobody’s in hair and makeup. Nobody looks like the character they’re playing. I’m trying to be very quiet and not pick up on their mic. I want her to feel as there as she can be, so that we can have a real moment, because a lot of those scenes were, for Vanellope, heart-to-hearts with Gal’s character.

That room is silent. I’ve been in the room recording, where you can’t hear the other room. You’ll say a line three times, and then you just see them all talking, and maybe even fighting, but you can’t hear any of it. You’re just like, “Cool, cool.” They’ll come back and be like, “That was fine.” You’re like, “I know that wasn’t fine.”

**John:** That wasn’t. There was disagreement.

**Pamela:** Someone’s mad at someone. If you’re in that quiet, quiet room with an actor, the nice thing is you get to be together on stage and just make a scene happen. It’s something I could’ve never predicted would happen in my life, but I’ve been in a quiet, tiny room with some really incredible performers and gotten to see what they look like when they’re acting, without anything but themselves.

**John:** Exciting.

**Pamela:** It helps as a writer.

**John:** Absolutely. That experience of just, we’ve written dialog, but how do we actually make this line land, is tough.

**Pamela:** Because they don’t have their body, they don’t have their hair, they don’t have a smirk. They don’t have their fucking gorgeous eyes. They have what they can say.

To get someone still enough to also be screaming in pain sometimes, but still, but not stomping or clapping or anything that we are naturally, like the slapping of thighs that every actor wants to do. You can’t do any of it. It is so limiting, that at least the life vest, whatever I am over them, the buoy, whatever it is, someone else that you can look at and go, “Can I at least say these lines with you?” It’s very helpful.

I find it an honor to be able to be in those situations where they’re also saying the things that you wrote. If they just look at you and go, “Is that right?” As a writer, you very rarely get to be like, “What do you want to say? How can we make this happen?” That’s great.

**John:** It is great. Let’s answer some listener questions.

**Pamela:** Yay.

**John:** We have a couple of little crafty ones I thought might be good. Drew, can you start us off with Denise?

**Drew Marquardt:** Denise writes, “What criteria do you use to choose the sex of a character, mainly supporting characters, when it could go either way? Do you play against type, or do you go conservative?”

**John:** Sex and gender of characters and assumptions about who that doctor, that engineer should be, what the mix is. Pamela, what’s your instinct? If there’s no reason why a character needs to be male or female, what are you thinking?

**Pamela:** My instinct is something I haven’t seen before. That’s where I’ll start, if it can happen. I have also seen where I didn’t do that. I thought I was doing something I hadn’t seen before, and then someone would flag, that character is actually pretty stereotypical, that you’re using to have your new scene in with this other character.

That’s something I learned, where I’m trying so hard to make a protagonist unique that I will accidentally surround them in something you’ve seen before, to help show how unique they are. Let’s call it the first and last time that that was flagged, I really was like, wow, I would’ve never noticed that I had done that without someone going, “What if it’s not this other person in the room that you’ve seen before?”

**John:** We’ve talked on the podcast before about Black judge syndrome, Black lieutenant syndrome. I don’t know if I ever mentioned this on the podcast, but there was a project I was brought in to rewrite, and the main character had a sister who was gone a lot. The draft I received, she was a flight attendant. In the rewrite, I made her a pilot. The producer said, “No, there are no women pilots.” I’m like, “But… ” The female producer said, “There are no women pilots.” I’m like, “I don’t know, I think there might be more female pilots than there are female producers at your level.”

It was a really strange comment, because I thought the pilot thing actually made a lot of sense. It tracked more with this woman’s sense of responsibility and control of her life. I got shut down, so she’s a flight attendant in the final movie. I think it’s always worth pushing against those things.

What I would caution Denise though is look at the choices you’re making. If the choice is going to be distracting in a way that pulls from your story, think about why that is and how do you have it support the needs of that scene, rather than pushing against the needs of that scene.

**Pamela:** It’s also seeing where and when your movie is set, and so that character can be different than default, because theoretically you’re past now. I wrote on a space thing where I wanted an astronaut that was essentially Lizzo.

**John:** Great.

**Pamela:** It was pretty soon after the thousand tampons for Sally Ride and all that stuff of like, “Women in space, what do you need?” Even maybe you can make a suit that is not just one suit for a dude. Even that, in exciting that character, which I was like, “This is where that should be,” there were times when I noticed I was trying to over-explain why that was okay. That wasn’t my job in the script, to pitch why this character was okay. It should just be, and also this character, because we’re in the future, and maybe we’re evolved. We can make space suits in other sizes.

**John:** I was talking with a writer about his script, and there was a police lieutenant. There’s a police detective and a police lieutenant in it. They had a scene in the police lieutenant’s office about the police detective overstepping. I’m like, “I don’t think you can have that scene. I just don’t know that there’s a version of that scene that is not going to feel tropey tropey tropey trope. We’ve seen the TV version of that just too many times. You’re going to have to change. I would say just get it out of that office. See if that lieutenant’s actually the crucial person to be giving that information or if you even need to get that information, because it’s just such a stock moment. It’s not just a stock character. It’s a stock moment to have your cop protagonist be challenged by the authority figure on this thing. You need to find a different way into it.”

**Pamela:** Once you’ve seen puppets do that scene…

**John:** Absolutely.

**Pamela:** Once puppets have done it, you get to retire the scene. You get to say, “Here we are. The puppets have done it. We’re done here.”

**John:** Let’s go to Bradley’s question.

**Drew:** Bradley asks, “What do you do when you realize you’ve grossly underestimated your page count? How can I better construct my outlines so I’m landing closer to my goals? I’m working from a 37-page detailed outline, and the parts I expected to land around page 25 or 30 are actually landing around page 45. At this rate, this spec is going to wind up around 140 pages instead of the 100 pages I planned. In retrospect, I may have overstuffed the outline.

Generally, I find cutting huge swaths of the script to be much harder than cutting an outline, but I’m already midstream, and the story feels like it’s working. What would you do in this situation? Finish the story and then cut, or go back to the drawing board, re-outline, and start over? How can I change my outlines to more accurately gauge how long something will be in a script?”

**John:** Bradley, I think you’re fine. I think something that’s 45 pages, they thought was going to be 30, that’s a really common scenario for me. Pamela, I see you nodding here.

**Pamela:** Yeah, for sure. I was like, “You’ve gone past your outline pages?” I find myself with the opposite problem all the time.

**John:** Oh, really?

**Pamela:** Oh, yeah.

**John:** You’re a big outliner? You outline deep deep deep?

**Pamela:** No. My scripts end up being short short short. I don’t like to outline, which is probably my why scripts end up short. I think what Bradley’s got is a trilogy he doesn’t know about. Write the whole thing, and then figure out, when I’m reading this, when do I think the movie has begun. Probably page 28 if your script’s that long. You’ll find your midpoint is something different than you thought it was. Then a lot of that stuff was just for you to know your characters really well. You’ll figure out, oh, these first 15 pages are actually better as a one-page scene, or this thing happens in a gas station. We learn all of that stuff. I find that to be the fun part.

I don’t like first drafts, but that second draft of, “Oh, here’s what I’m working with. How do I make it look like a real script?” is fun to go, “This is too long. This is too short. This isn’t enough.” I find a lot what I think will be my end of second act is actually the midpoint, because I think that’s going to be huge, but when I make the whole thing, I’m like, “Oh, that wasn’t as big as where I ended up going.” That end of Act 2 is actually that midpoint moment of, “This is actually much bigger than we ever thought.”

If I end up in something that is let’s say 120 pages, I don’t know if that ever happens, but let’s say I get into 118 when I want 99. That’s usually what I find, is I’ve missed where the moment of everybody going, “This is bigger than we thought it was. I have more moments for bad guys closing in than I thought.”

**John:** Like you, I’m by my nature not a planner, and so I’m not a person who does detailed outlines, except on projects where I’ve been required to do it. Then it’s always like, “Oh my gosh, I have this outline. I know what it is, the next thing I need to do. That’s exciting. I know what my daily work is going to be, a little bit more clearly.”

Writing the Arlo Finch books, with those, I would have a sense of like, “Oh, this is what happens in this sequence.” I would think, “Oh, this will be a chapter,” and it’ll be three. I could never accurately predict it.

Now that I have 20 years of screenwriting experience, I have a much better sense of how many pages it’s going to take to do a thing, how many pages it’s going to take to do a moment and land that. You’re probably new, Bradley, and so this is all the first time you’re experiencing it. I would say don’t be so worried about the match of your outline to your script. You’re just trying to figure out how many pages it takes to deliver a moment. It’s not a function of your outline. It’s a function of how you write.

**Pamela:** That’s right, Bradley. You’ll learn as you do this more often, where you’re like, “Oh, that’s going to take me five days. That’s actually three pages. This outline is so long in the beginning, but it’s really only going to be four pages. For you to understand what I’m talking about, I’m going to take three or four pages of outline space to just explain this crazy world that you may not understand, because you haven’t seen it before. It’s not your fault. I have to walk you through how we got to why we’re making this film.”

That stuff probably won’t go in your script, because you have an establishing shot or an opening scene that says all of that, that your outline can’t. Your outline can’t. It’s not for your script. Your outline’s not for your script. Your outline is for other people to let you go write your script.

**John:** Or your outline is for yourself, to remind you what it is… It’s the plan for your plan. If it’s helpful for your process, that’s great. I just often feel like writers get forced into outlines that don’t ultimately serve them well. They get handcuffed to outlines that were never the right plan for making the movie.

**Pamela:** What I do for that, I think of a beat sheet, but I really am making a Claire Danes board of notes and lines and all kinds of things that will eventually all mostly go into the script. You can’t hand that to anyone. When I think of a beat sheet, that’s for me. That’s a cleaned up version of my chaos on the wall. It’s just for me. An outline, just a pitch. It’s a book report of what you’re about to write. I try not to do a lot of dialog in an outline. I will do it if you end up in these script-ment places where you’re doing a treatment script half thing. You can do it in an outline.

What I think is missing a lot, that helps you so much if you can put it in there, is your tone. If a outline reads dry, people are going to be worried about your script. The faster your outline sounds like what you’re writing and how the characters live, the more successful that outline’s going to be. You don’t have to worry about how many pages. It can actually be even shorter for what you show people. You can keep your 40-page outline, but you can give them 18 pages of a tight version of what it feels like to watch your film.

**John:** Exactly. While I have you here, when we were at the Austin Film Festival, I remember sitting in the restaurant, and Craig came down. He was incredibly sick, and then he went back up. You talked through this project that you were pitching. If I get this wrong, correct me.

How you were pitching this, it was all on Zoom, but you would start the Zoom meeting and talk to the executives you were pitching to. They’d say, “At this moment, we’re going to give you a link that you can click through, and you can all watch this prepared video that is the pitch, and then rejoin us on the Zoom.” Is that what you actually did?

**Pamela:** Yeah. This started because we had lockdown. Originally, we were all going to be in a room. I was working with animators in Austin. They were like, “Oh, our travel budget got cut. We’re not allowed to fly anywhere. What is it, two weeks?” I was like, “It’s going to be a little longer than two weeks.” I said, “Let’s duplicate the feeling of pitching in the room.”

I tell everybody this still. I still do it. What’s great about making your own 8 to 13-minute Vimeo pitch is you are controlling it. You only do it once. You get to give it to everyone and say, “Hey, here’s this. You’ve met us all. You think we’re great. Instead of staring at my eyes not looking at you, here’s something where I’ve given you visuals while I’m talking, and I’m showing you what the thing will feel like.

This was Slam, for my graphic novels. I ended in a sizzle reel that I got to make with a talented editor, and show them not just what the pilot would be or why I’m here, or here are other people doing roller derby, and where it was at in the state at the time of lockdown, because they were one of the first sports to come back, because they had COVID protocols and figured out how to do it.

**John:** Roller derby’s a great sport. The community around roller derby’s fantastic.

**Pamela:** It also for a long time was the fastest-growing female sport in the world. It was the first sport to include transgender people. If you identified female, you got to skate. It 100% is a forward-moving sport that is completely do-it-yourself. There’s no big business coming in and changing things. Even within that, there are factions of, “I want to go to the Olympics. I want to be Mamie Thigh-senhower because I’m a kindergarten teacher.” How does a sport move when you’ve lowered an age to 18? All of these things to be able to put into a video.

As I said, there’s no way you’re going to want to be amped enough to watch more roller derby without seeing some roller derby. Being able to put all of that in a pitch that I said, “Just go watch it, however you like to consume your media. We’ll all be here in 13 minutes, and we’ll talk some more.” It just let people come back excited to talk and really helped. I like it a lot.

I learned this from animation, of giving something for people to look at so they don’t have to stare at you and feel bad when they’re writing notes or feel bad if they’re thinking about dinner. They just do. Sometimes I stopped a pitch and been like, “Oh, it’s so late. It’s 5:00 on a Friday, and the sun’s going down behind me. I can already tell I said feminist and all of you shut down. We could just stop right here.” I don’t know, I’m always trying to find a way to humanize the experience.

Being able to like, “We’re talking about something you’re going to see, so go see a little of it. If you like it, we can talk more about what it might be like to make it together,” I love it. It’s a lot of control.

**John:** It’s a lot of control. It’s a lot of upfront work to make that thing. I’ve also been in the situation where I’ve done the exact same pitch to 13 different places, with a slide deck, that Megana was driving the slides as I was talking, so there was stuff to look at. It was a beast. The best version of it, I was just on rails. I felt so bad for the producers who had to sit through me giving the exact same presentation 13 times. A video does feel like it’s more choice.

**Pamela:** I also think what happens when you’re going to have to do it 13 times with producers who are in the room, listening to you do the show, they’re going to have opinions after the fifth, sixth, seventh, what’s next. You find yourself doing even more free work to hone it to what maybe we think the mandate is over here. Then you got to change it again for the next one. You end up rewriting your pitch a lot.

If you can be like, “You’re in or you’re out on this show.” Roller derby is a good example. You’re in or you’re out. You like this or you don’t. Please don’t make me figure out this version and that version, because you can talk to me about, “Can we do this, because that’s more what we’re into?” That’s a conversation, as opposed to me trying to guess whatever you were told that morning is the new thing you’re supposed to be looking for. It’s a lot easier to put something down that doesn’t sell if you know you really gave it your best.

**John:** True.

**Pamela:** I know it is a lot more work at the beginning, but you spend all that time really getting to know the show or the film or whatever. You spend a lot of time doing that to be able to make a presentation.

I have an acting degree. I really was horrible at pitching, until one of my friends was like, “This is the only time we’re asked on stage. You’ve got 20 minutes.” I was like, “I’m making a show. I’m making a show.” When I think of it as the one-person show about this, it is less annoying, because the pitch is not the script. It’s just this one little moment for this little thing. The script is not the film or the show. It’s one little moment to get hundreds or thousands of people on board to make the thing.

Breaking them into these milestones has been helpful, because they’re all hard, and we all want to procrastinate. If you can know that you’re actually thinking while you’re procrastinating, it feels like you’re not working. What you’re doing is giving yourself a minute to go, “Something’s not working, and that’s why I’m not working.”

**John:** The devil’s advocate, I do want to bring up, because we’ve talked about the rise of pitch decks on the show, is that this is an escalation even well beyond pitch decks. If a writer’s being asked to do this on spec, that’s a huge commitment of time and space. This goes beyond.

**Pamela:** No one’s asked me to do it. I’ve had to convince a couple of people, “Let me go show you what it is,” because it is hard to understand. You’re going to make a Vimeo. They do. You’re making a short.

**John:** Do it for something that you control, but not for someone else’s project, not someone else’s IP.

**Pamela:** I’m trying to think if I did it for someone else’s IP. Once. Once. You know what? In this case, I ended up… Whatever. We can talk about that some other day, all our heartbreaks. I’m glad I made that. If I hadn’t gone all the way to make that full-on, “Here is the pitch. This is what it looks like. This is the sizzle reel,” I mean this, it would’ve been harder to not get that gig.

**John:** Let’s do some One Cool Things. I see that you are a prepared cohost. I see two things in the Workflowy here. What’s your One Cool Thing or your two Cool Things?

**Pamela:** It’s One Cool Thing, but one’s an intro to explain why my One Cool Thing, because we’re talking about character. Judd Apatow has some great books about talking to funny people and writers about their process. One of the things that he has said… I’ve never met Judd. I don’t know him. One of the things that he has said he uses to get deeper into both himself and therefore his characters, is self-help books.

Esther Perel, I feel like when I’m telling someone something that’s a podcast on its fourth season, perhaps most of you have already heard of it. However, I will say that what Esther is very great at is getting into why these dynamics are happening between people. That’s the best part of characters. Why are these two or these three or this family or this ensemble of office workers going through this together? What is it where they’re going to step on each other’s insecurities, secrets, and, for lack of a better word, traumas? I think that what she does with such compassion and empathy is allow people the space to learn.

Anyway, she has a brand new season. She’s also doing some Premium subscriber stuff. That’s new, where there’s extra bonus things. If you haven’t listened to Where Do We Begin, usually they’re a one-time session with a client or a couple, and it’s an edited situation. She never meets them again.

**John:** I like that.

**Pamela:** It’s fascinating. You drop right into a crisis moment. She also has a How’s Work. I think it’s called How’s Work, where she does it with business partners, because it’s another relationship that can sometimes need-

**John:** Me and Craig are going to have to sign up for this.

**Pamela:** Oh my gosh, I would listen-

**John:** It would be the best.

**Pamela:** … to you guys. It would be so good. It would be so good. I barely know what Esther looks like, because I don’t want to see.

**John:** It’s always best when you don’t know what a podcast host looks like.

**Pamela:** Her voice is wonderful.

**John:** They’ll have different faces in my brain.

**Pamela:** She’s also, through the pandemic, ended up making a game of cards that no one will play with me, because no one wants to do these questions. I tried to bring this up with some group in some sort of pandemic moment, where I was like, “I have this deck of cards. It’s called Where Should We Begin. It’s just these questions.” My friends were like, “We were already having a conversation.” I was like, “No, I know.” They were like, “We were just talking, and now you’re-”

**John:** You’re making it a thing. You’re making it work.

**Pamela:** “You’re making it a thing. You’re making this work. You’re making me uncomfortable. Why are you asking me about a moment I wish I had shined in?” I was like, “I hear you. I hear you.” I was always that kid who was grabbing those books at the bookstore that were like, 100 questions to ask your best friends or 300 questions about sex and love. I just think that when you’re on a road trip and you’re asking someone next to you, “What did you wish you had won in high school that you didn’t get?” you find out so much about that person.

That’s also the stuff that we’re looking for in these scripts to be like, flashback. “I didn’t win this. This was my dream, my wish, and it didn’t come true, so I’m taking all these coins back.” That’s how we get that stuff of knowing this is a person who’s been many persons before this person.

I think that’s the longest version of a One Cool Thing to say here’s a podcast that’s many years old. If you haven’t heard Esther Perel yet, I highly recommend it.

**John:** I will listen to it. My One Cool Thing is an article from a couple weeks ago. Evan Osnos writing for the New Yorker. It’s about “How to Hire a Pop Star for your Private Party.” These are bar mitzvahs, private parties, by the ultra wealthy, who bring in a pop star to perform at them. We see Jennifer Lopez doing something for a million dollars or whatever.

The story centers around Flo-Rida, who is playing bar mitzvahs and other events. He has one big song he’s known for. He makes good money otherwise. What I really liked about this article and Flo-Rida in it is that he’s not resentful. It’s not a sad story. He’s not doing this because he feels like he has to. He’s doing this out of a sense of professionalism. He’s a really good entertainer. This is a way that he gets to entertain these crowds and give them exactly what they need.

For all of the potentially gross stuff about just the ultra wealthy doing these events, it made me happy and hopeful for a future for some of these artists who are not going to be in the mainstream but still have a venue for making money and making their art.

**Pamela:** Have you ever tried to figure out how much it would cost to make a dream come true musically, pop star-wise, for a party or an event?

**John:** I never have. I do remember back in college, I ran the student activities board, because of course I ran the student activities board. We could bring in events. We could bring in bands and stuff for that. At some point you could just get a list of like, this is how many thousands of dollars each of these groups cost. It was exciting to feel that power, like, “I have a $200,000 budget. I could do these things.”

**Pamela:** My husband once just, not just once, but enough that I knew it was a real thing, said he would love to hear Roxette with a full philharmonicy orchestra for one night. I was like, “I feel like this is an attainable goal.” I was wrong. I was wrong. It’s not an attainable goal. First of all, they were a lot of money. Then I was like, “What if it’s just a string quartet playing in a room? That’s fun. We eat a meal or something.” I learned from people who do this professionally, they’re like, “Why would we learn so many Roxette songs? We’ll never do it again. That’s so much time of ours.” I was like, “That’s fascinating.”

**John:** Wow.

**Pamela:** “I can’t pay for that kind of time for all of you.” I was like, “What about four of you?” They’re like, “Still, no one wants to do this. Where are we going to find a singer? Get a cover band.” That’s not what he wanted.

**John:** No, he wanted Roxette.

**Pamela:** So much money. So much money to make your dreams come true.

**John:** You pay for experiences, not things. That’s what we’ve learned, is that the experiences are what really matter, not material possessions.

**Pamela:** I didn’t have that kind of cash. It was a lot. Not now, but someone at the time could’ve made that happen, but it was not me. I was like, “Oh, I see. Oh, I see.” You get used to it when you’re working in film and television of like, “Here’s this. What do you need? Here, you’re in the Griffith Observatory. Look at all the stars. What star do you need?” You get a bit out of your reality and go, “I’m sure Roxette would love to work with the LA Phil.”

**John:** They’re chomping at the bit.

**Pamela:** No. It’s hard. Good for Flo-Rida. I understand that. It’s like a TED Talk as a musician. You’re like, “I get to come in, perform for people who are… “ That’s what Britney’s Vegas residency was theoretically. That’s what I thought I was doing.

**John:** Absolutely. It wasn’t a hostage situation, which apparently it was.

**Pamela:** Not what I thought at the time. You never know. I’m glad for Flo-Rida, but I do think a lot of people are in bar mitzvah hostage situations.

**John:** That may be the title of the episode.

**Pamela:** Great. Glad I could help.

**John:** That is our show. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt. It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Pamela:** Yay.

**John:** Our outro this week is by Adam Pineless. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also where you can send questions, like the ones we answered today. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. It’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing.

We have T-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau. This week on the picket line, I saw two vintage Scriptnotes T-shirts or related Scriptnotes T-shirts that I’d never seen out in the wild before, which was very exciting. It’s always fun to see those T-shirts out there.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one we’re about to record on Listen to Sassy. Pamela Ribon, what an absolute pleasure it is to have you on the podcast and be talking with you.

**Pamela:** Thank you. I like to be the anti-Craig. Whenever you need me again, I will bring anti-umbrage to your podcast.

**John:** [Indiscernible 01:07:43] embrace.

**Pamela:** I love your role. You’re doing it. You’re doing it.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** One of the main reasons I was so excited to have you on this podcast is you are also the host of another podcast, so therefore you’re a podcast professional and know how to do all the things. Talk to us about Listen to Sassy, in which you are going back through issues of Sassy magazine. Start us off, because I can picture Sassy magazine, but I never read it, because I was not the target audience, what was Sassy magazine, and why is it relevant today?

**Pamela:** You probably weren’t the target audience. Perhaps you saw its male spin-off, Dirt.

**John:** Oh, Dirt, okay, yeah.

**Pamela:** That was for you. They were like, “I know you’re reading Sassy.”

**John:** Dudes.

**Pamela:** “Dudes, what about skaters?” Dirt. And Spike Jonze, lots of Spike Jonze. The people I do this podcast with, Tara Ariano and David T. Cole, are professionals all the way back from Television Without Pity, as we were discussing earlier. They have their own podcast things.

During the lockdown, I was on a sad run. I got a text from Tara that said, “My pandemic thing was buying every issue of Sassy magazine ever. Do you want to do a podcast?” I just stopped. I stopped running, and I said, “Yes, yes, a million times yes,” not knowing what I was getting into time-wise, preparedness-wise. It’s a lot of work. I think you know this. Craig doesn’t, but you do.

We take every issue, which I also got my own Ebay-ed version of now. I now have every Sassy. We take every issue, and we break it into first teen life, then pop culture, and then the fashion and the magazine sections. Then our fourth one is, we call slumber party, which are calls and letters. We take the quiz, like a slumber party.

We started with the very first issue, which was 1988. We are at 1990 right now. We’ll be going until ’94 or ’95. I can’t remember when. That was when Sassy changed ownerships and just became a different then. Then Jane Pratt ended up making Jane magazine, which then became the website xoJane, which some of you are now like, “I remember this.”

Back, back, back in the day, Sassy magazine was an alternate to YM and Seventeen. Instead of talking about how to get asked to prom or six ways to wear your makeup, those things are in there, but what it began with really are, here are kids who got pregnant, here is death row, this is what suicide is like, this is what the skinhead movement is doing right now in the ‘90s, and then didn’t pull punches with celebrity interviews, and could be what one might say is the beginning of snark, of that, “Why do I have to love Tiffany or the New Kids, when REM and Keanu Reeves are right here?”

One of the things about going back to Sassy, which starting on Television Without Pity and Mighty Big TV and Hissyfit and Fametracker, one of the things that drew me to that site and writing for Tara and Dave and Sarah in particular was they did a thing where they would, as editors, come in and make little notes inside your recap, of jokes off your joke or inside jokes about all of us. That was what Sassy did.

Sassy made it feel like you’re in a room with all these young people in New York, and we’re all just excited about Michael Hutchence and a Meg Ryan movie we just saw, but Winona Ryder-y, in terms of an older sister who’s telling you, “Here’s some music you might like.” I had an older cousin who was like this for me.

I was in a small town outside Houston. Before then, I was in a small town of Jackson, Mississippi, and no internet. To have a magazine say, “Do you feel not like everyone else? Are you mad about fur? Are you mad about meat? Do you want to know how to be a vegan? Do you want to know how to protest the circus?” There was all that, early activism stuff, of you can be 13 and still change the world, and then also what about John Waters, or what are indie things?

For me, it was Sassy magazine and Rolling Stone magazine were how I figured out there was a world outside the world I was in. I really appreciated the way that they wrote to someone young, to say, “You might be young, but you have agency in your world.” We wouldn’t have Rookie Mag without it. We wouldn’t have a lot of the things that we have now. I think Teen Vogue right now shows a lot of-

**John:** Yeah, it does that.

**Pamela:** Is the newest better version.

**John:** Talk to me though about the advertising in it, because magazines were ad vehicles, and that’s how they made their money was ads, not by the actual cover price of the magazine. What are the ads in there? Are they all makeup? What kind of stuff do you see in there?

**Pamela:** There’s a lot of makeup and vision streetwear and Bongo. Bongo the whole time. My whole teenage years were some girls, but in some short jeans, and me being like, “How can I have this butt?” Instead of it being Guess, which I guess there was a little bit of, it was more counterculture clothing or maybe even… I’m trying to think. There’s still Debbie Gibson in the ads, even if in the articles it’s about not. It’s about B-52s or whatever.

They actually ended up having problems with their advertisers. They lost a lot of advertisers at a certain point, because people were writing in, parents and church people were writing in about, “They’re talking about birth control, and they’re talking about sex, and they’re talking about these things that are not, quote unquote, proper.” We’re currently in the lean years, where you could tell they were having to deal with, how do you get an advertiser, but also stay true to your audience that is very grateful for no bullshit.

**John:** The way that magazines and film and TV writing have overlap, or the way that we always want to portray magazines in film and TV is just so fascinating. They’re always the backdrop we go back to, because it’s a bunch of people in a room who can say smart things, we believe they’re saying smart things, so we make our female characters editors at magazines. We make them young teen journalists or young magazine writers, because it’s glamorous. We believe they can be wearing that fashion if they’re in New York City.

Jane Pratt as a character seems great too. Has there been a fictional version of her on anything, that sense of that magazine founder? I think back to our high fashion people we always make as characters, but has Jane Pratt ever been one of those?

**Pamela:** First of all, I would say that Sex and the City is doing some of that that you’re talking about. So does Girls and all of that stuff. These are aspiring New York friends who are chatting. That’s what Sassy felt like. Skate Kitchen being more the modern version of what I think feels like Sassy magazine. A show that tried to do it, The Bold Type. That was close. That was a modern version of… Even Ugly Betty, if we’re going to get into the weird versions of how glamorous is this world.

What was fun about Sassy wasn’t so much that they were all in New York, because they were like, “I’m in New York, and that’s why I just saw Sting on an elevator.” They sounded like they could’ve come from wherever we were.

They also had contests for the Sassiest girl in America. You just felt like you were part of the magazine. I don’t know there’s any other magazine that made me feel like this came in the mail once a month to say to me, “Hi. How are you? Here’s what you want to see and hear next. Here’s what you’re going to want to talk about when you really are talking to your friends about real things.”

It’s a little difficult to go back. I was doing My Year of Dicks the same time I was doing Listen to Sassy, so I was really reliving my high school years. What’s tough about Sassy is how much Johnny Depp love is in there, which I had 3000 percent at the time. Now, as a other side of Johnny Depp person, you’re having to think about who you were then and who you are now and how much this magazine actually gave me a guide for who I wanted to be and how I wanted to do it. I know I’m not the only one, because you can see it in all these other, particularly female writers of now, who are like, “Sassy made me think I could do this as myself.”

**John:** Big sister energy feels like a good thing to put out in the world.

**Pamela:** Knowledgeable big sister energy.

**John:** Exactly. The podcast is Listen to Sassy. It’s listentosassy.com. People can find all the back-episodes. Pamela Ribon, what an absolute delight to talk with you.

**Pamela:** Thank you so much. This has been fun.

**John:** Great.

Links:

* [Pamela Ribon](https://pamie.com/) on [IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0962596/)
* [Listen To Sassy](https://listentosassy.com/)
* [Television Without Pity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_Without_Pity)
* [Get Real (1999-2000)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212662/) on IMDb
* [How to Hire a Pop Star for Your Private Party](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/06/05/how-to-hire-a-pop-star-for-your-private-party) by Evan Osnos for The New Yorker
* [The Secret to Judd Apatow’s Comedy? A Huge Library of Self-Help Books](https://www.gq.com/story/judd-apatow-self-help-book-interview) by Clay Skipper
* [Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel](https://www.estherperel.com/podcast)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [Craig Mazin](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/) on Instagram
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Adam Pineless ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli).

Scriptnotes, Episode 603: Billion Dollar Advice, Transcript

July 26, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/billion-dollar-advice).

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Heads up that today’s episode has just a little bit of swearing in it. Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 603 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Craig, you and I both know that it’s never been easy to be extraordinarily wealthy in America. You monopolize the railroads, you’re called a robber baron. You perform a few hostile takeovers on public companies, bankrupt them after laying off thousands of workers, and somehow you’re the bad guy.

**Craig:** Yeah, I know. Isn’t that a shame?

**John:** It is. Today’s billionaires I think maybe have it even worse, because they get dragged on Twitter for buying Twitter and ruining Twitter. Orcas have finally learned how to capsize their yachts. Today, I thought maybe we could offer some guidance for the billionaires and other folks who are looking for a safe and tranquil place to put their money, which is the film and television industry. This episode is for the dreamers, the builders, the doers, the absurdly rich. It’s also a history lesson in the way things used to work and could maybe work again, with independent studios making things for distributors. To help us look into all of this, we have a very, very special guest, Craig, Akela Cooper.

**Craig:** Fantastic. Hi, Akela.

**Akela Cooper:** Hello. Hi!

**Craig:** Hey!

**John:** Hey! Akela Cooper, you are a writer for film and TV. Credits include Malignant, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Luke Cage, and the breakout hit M3GAN.

**Craig:** That’s pronounced me and three-gan.

**Akela:** M-three-gan.

**John:** Me and three-gan.

**Akela:** M-three-gan.

**Craig:** M-three-gan. That is M-three-gan.

**John:** M-three-gan.

**Craig:** If I know one thing in this world, it’s that that movie would have done even better had it been pronounced M-three-gan. I think in some countries it may have been pronounced M-three-gan. Go on.

**Akela:** I was going to say, that’s one of those writer things, where it’s just like, no, you guys, it’s really Megan. At a certain point, I’m like, oh no, I have lost the narrative on this. It is M-three-gan.

**Craig:** It’s M-three-gan. It’s M-three-gan. There’s going to be M-four-gan. It’ll be M-three-ga-four-n. M-three-ga-four-n is what’s going to happen.

**John:** M-three-ga-four-n.

**Craig:** M-three-ga-four-n.

**John:** Akela Cooper, you are also a WGA captain, who I first met on the picket line in front of CBS. I was so excited to meet you. I think I gasped audibly, because I loved your movie. Your name I’d seen for a long time. I got to see you in person and shake your hand. Akela Cooper, welcome-

**Akela:** Thank you.

**John:** … to Scriptnotes.

**Akela:** I love that the picket line is just bringing people together. Even at the rally today, everyone was like, oh my god, I turned left, and I seen someone I haven’t seen in 10 years. I turned right and I seen someone I haven’t seen in five years. It’s like a writers reunion.

**Craig:** That’s what you think good news is. For me, I see somebody I haven’t seen in 10 years, I’m like, “Oh, no. I gotta go hide behind a very slender tree. I’m going to turn sideways and pray.”

**John:** Akela, we barely know each other. I mostly know you through your work. I was looking through IMDb, and I thought we might actually start with getting an origin story. I might guess your origin story just based on this really expensive credits list I see here of the things you’ve worked on. It feels like you worked your way up in a way that a bunch of our listeners are really aspiring to, because I look back over your 10-year arc. You’re starting off on, first credit I see a credit for is Tron: Uprising. Presumably, you were a staff writer. Was that really your first job?

**Akela:** That wasn’t my first first job. It was my first credit, which was animated. Shout-out to Christopher Mack at the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop, may that rest in peace. Oh, wait, no, I had gotten staffed on V, the reboot of the ‘80s miniseries on ABC that went a season, and then actually, in between seasons I needed work. Chris Mack was like, “Hey, I know Disney is doing a Tron animated series. You want me to put you up for it?” “Yes.” I ended up getting a freelance actually.

That’s where I first met our lot coordinator, Bill Wolkoff, who was my boss on that. It was just the three of us in a room. There was another executive story editor who was on there. We broke this episode, and then I went off and I wrote it. Then years later, it aired. My staff writing job was on V. Unfortunately, I never got a credited episode on that, just because a whole lot of fuckery happened on that show.

**Craig:** I love that song. That’s my favorite Led Zeppelin song.

**John:** Akela, you bring up a really good point, because I misassumed that Tron: Uprising was your first job because a staff writer isn’t guaranteed a credit in IMDb or anywhere else for being a staff writer on a show. It’s only if you actually get an episode that you get a credit on that you’re necessarily going to show up there. You had a whole extra year or work before you show up in a public record for this.

From that point forward, I look through your credits here, you’re climbing that ladder. There’s a ladder. You’re climbing up it, because you go on to Grimm, Witches of East End, The 100, American Horror Story, Luke Cage, Avengers Assemble. Each of these steps, you are… I see you getting a story editor credit, which is the next rung up from staff writer. I see you getting a co-producer. I see you just rising up the ranks, supervising producer to co-AP. That’s sort of the dream process, right?

**Akela:** Yes.

**John:** You kept working up show after show. They’re all in a genre. They’re all very specific sci-fi, fantasy spaces. Was this by plan? Talk to us about how you’re moving from show to show.

**Akela:** It was by plan in that I wanted to hit that next level. As an elder millennial, I feel like I’m… Sadly, we all know this is what we’re fighting for now. I’m part of a last generation that was able to work my way up the ladder and learn each step of making a TV show as I went along. I certainly hope we win on those fronts, because I think we’re doing the next generation of writers a disservice by cutting them out of the process, as streaming has.

I was part of the CBS Writers’ Workshop and the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop, and that’s what they told us. It’s assistant, and then hopefully you make it to the table and you become a staff writer.

Then traditionally in network you would have to do 22 episodes before the studio would bump you. On V, I had done 13. When I went to the next show, which I believe was Grimm, NBC was the one that was like, “You didn’t do 22, so we’re going to make you be staff writer all over again.” I had to do staff writer again. Then I did 22 episodes of Grimm. Then I got the story editor bump.

Just from there, I kept hitting those 22 episodes on the network side, and so that helped when I transitioned to streaming, like on Luke Cage, where at this point now I think it’s co-producer. I have the experience. You gotta give me that title.

As it was explained to me, you get the episodes, and then either the series is renewed and then you get a bump automatically in your contract, or if you go on to another show, it’s like, I’ve got all this experience behind me, you give me my bump.

There were some bumps along the way, because I do remember specifically for The 100, it was a difference of do you want the title or do you want the pay. I’m like, “You’re going to give me that fucking title, because I’ve earned it.” I actually ended up taking less pay just so I could get the title, because I knew I was going to need that title going forward, especially as a Black female writer in this business. I took the title over the money. Again, going from The 100 to Luke Cage, it helped.

**Craig:** That’s a good lesson right there in delayed gratification. Any time somebody offers you money or blank, take the or blank. There’s a reason they’re offering you money. It’s a trap. Just think it’s a trap every time, because you’re right, if you can hang on… I almost think they’re counting on people being desperate and taking the money instead, because yeah, once you get the higher title, yeah, you’re going to get more money starting next time, and then building off of that, more and more and more. Well chosen. Good on you.

**John:** The other choice I see that’s really smart here is you were not only doing television. You were also writing features this whole time through. Were you consciously working in long-form scripted, and were you always trying to make features in addition to this stuff, or were they opportunities that came up along the way? Because even before Malignant, you have Hell Fest, you have other stuff you were working on. What was your split there? You were doing TV, but you were also trying to do features?

**Akela:** I focused on TV. I ended up going to USC in the grad program, which at the time was feature-focused. Then I fell into TV. I loved TV, but I had no idea how it worked. Then I found out at USC. It’s like, this is how it works. I’m like, this is amazing. While I was focused on working my way up, I wasn’t really writing features. I was writing spec episodes. I was writing pilots. At a certain point I was also writing short stories, just to have something else in my quiver when they needed to send out samples.

It wasn’t until I got on Luke Cage that it’s like, okay, I think Luke Cage, I made co-producer of Season 1. It’s like, woo, I’ve made mid-level, which is huge. It’s a huge thing to get your foot in the door as staff writer. Then getting that bump is also huge. Then when you make it to mid-level, that’s when I was like, yeah, break out the Prosecco. At that point, I felt comfortable in that I had a body of produced work, so I didn’t have to write as many specs anymore. At that point, I was like, I’m not writing specs anymore. You can see that I’ve had episodes produced.

**John:** You weren’t writing spec television episodes, but then you could actually focus back on doing features, because everyone can always read a feature and say, oh, look at how good her writing is.

**Akela:** Yeah. It had been an itch that had been growing. It’s like, now that I have this time, and now that I am at this level in my TV career, let me go back and take some time to write features. While I was on Luke Cage, I had had two horror movie ideas that had been knocking around in my brain. I’m like, let me get these down on paper. I had a system where if the Luke Cage writers’ room started at 10 a.m., I would show up at 9 and then work for an hour before the room started, just on the outline and then eventually the script. I wrote two spec scripts that way while also working on Luke Cage. I would work at home after work as well, and sometimes on the weekends.

I went to my TV agent, ICM at the time. May that rest in peace. It got absorbed by CAA. I went to my TV agent and was like, “Hey, I’ve written some features, and I’d like to write movies also.” He introduced me to a wonderful agent on the feature side. Then he sent out those spec features. That led to a meeting at Atomic Monster. That worked out very well for me.

**John:** That’s awesome.

**Craig:** I love the fact that you were there… Anytime anyone, but particularly generations younger than John’s generation and my generation, anytime anybody is showing up early, working early, working on weekends, betting on themselves, I sing. I sing. It’s just wonderful. It’s wonderful to see, because it does pay off. It does, honestly. It’s just very exciting to hear somebody betting on themselves like that and then the way it pays off. Well done.

**Akela:** I actually knew the editor of Get Out. We’d met somewhere. I forget now. He had reached out, and it’s like, “Oh, she’s writing features now? I’m being brought on to direct this movie. Would she mind coming on board and doing a rewrite?” That’s how I got on Hell Fest.

**John:** I once had your work ethic, where I actually could get up early and do a thing. I don’t have it anymore. How did you keep energy in the tank to do this writing before your actual writing job? That to me is so tough.

**Craig:** She’s young, John. She hasn’t died inside like we have. Look at her. She’s vital.

**Akela:** Why thank you.

**John:** You’re not a teenager. You still have that young 20s energy, even a ways into your career.

**Akela:** I think I was mid-30s 2015. I am not good at math, but I think I was, because I’m 41 now. Elder millennial, as they say, or whatever the fuck they’ve designated us. They can never seem to land on anything.

**Craig:** Maybe we’ll take you. Maybe Gen X will just pick you up. You’re worth picking up.

**Akela:** At one point, I was part. It was the tail-end of Gen X. Then it’s like, no, we’re going to call you the Pepsi Generation. Then that didn’t stick. Then they forgot about us. Then millennial and Gen Z became a thing. It’s like, hey, what do we call the people between ’78 and ’83? Who the fuck knows?

**Craig:** That’s a pretty specific range there.

**Akela:** That also shifts. There are so many people who will be like, “No, it’s ’79 to ’84.” Wherever it is, I’m smack in the middle at ’81.

**Craig:** Wait a second. I have a question for you, Akela. Do you have children?

**Akela:** No.

**Craig:** There it is. There it is. There it is.

**John:** There it is.

**Craig:** That’s why she’s not dead inside.

**Akela:** As you can see behind me, Craig, I have a cat. I actually have two cats.

**Craig:** I was just guessing, based on the cat and the coolness behind you and the lack of just crap everywhere that belongs to children that put it there, even though this is mommy’s office and you told them not to go in there and they did anyway. John and I, as parents we are the worst about promoting parenthood, because all we ever do is talk about how kids are why we’re so tired. They just haul you out.

**Akela:** That is also where I get time.

**Craig:** Man, you just made one great decision after another, as far as I’m concerned.

**John:** I do look at what I see in your background of the Zoom here. Everything there is breakable by a child. That Predator statue-

**Craig:** Oh, gone.

**John:** Gone.

**Craig:** Gone.

**John:** Gone.

**Akela:** That’s Pumpkinhead.

**John:** Oh, it’s Pumpkinhead. Thank you. I couldn’t see it clearly.

**Craig:** It does look like Predator from here.

**Akela:** I have one of those too, but he is in storage right now. In the before times, when we had in-person offices in writers’ rooms, I have a box of all of my collectibles that are specifically for my office. My Predator is one of them.

**John:** I love it.

**Craig:** You’re a nerd?

**Akela:** Yes.

**Craig:** Love it.

**Akela:** Born and raised.

**Craig:** John and I are playing Dungeons and Dragons tonight, so you’re with your people.

**Akela:** I have played Dungeons and Dragons exactly once. I did have fun. It’s just like, hey, we’re going to do this campaign, and it’s going to be Sunday evening for four hours. It’s like, I wish I could, but no.

**Craig:** You just need to commit to that.

**Akela:** I’ve got a couple of people being like, “We’re going to do a one-shot at some point.”

**Craig:** Do one-shots. Exactly, do one-shots.

**John:** One-shots are perfect. That’ll be great. I want to talk to you about M3GAN, because I saw M3GAN in the theater with an audience who loved it to death. It’s just a fantastic movie and a fantastic ride. My question for you is, from its initial incarnation, did you know that tone was going to be there, that tone where it’s aware of its own absurdity and embracing it and also it’s going to have the jolts that you’re hoping for in a horror movie. When did the tone of it become clear?

**Akela:** The tone of it was Gerard. I wrote a straight horror movie.

**Craig:** Gerard Johnstone, the director?

**Akela:** Yes. The jolts and the scares, yes, those were intended. I’m happy a lot of them landed. The hilarious tone, that is Gerard’s New Zealand sense of humor. I was really, really happy when he was brought on, because it was a case of, I had seen Housebound when it was released on DVD, and I loved it. When the guys at Atomic Monster were like, “Hey, we found a director. It’s Gerard Johnstone,” I was like, “I know that guy. I saw his movie, and I liked it. Cool.” It’s one of those things where I didn’t have to go on IMDb and be like, who the fuck did they hire? He brought that sensibility. I was like, oh, wow, I love it. I love how we played together in that area, because he took what I wrote and then enhanced it in that way. It was so fun to see.

**John:** It’s always great when a writer has a happy director story, Craig.

**Craig:** It doesn’t happen frequently. Then again, so few films get made now, that one would hope that they’re all somehow happy. Can you talk us through the dance? It’s hard to write dancing. The M3GAN dance is astonishing. I feel like we’re buried in culture right now. There’s so much of it. It’s all noise, no signal. Then every now and then, something just pokes through in such a way that everyone goes, “Everybody, shut up and look at this!” In the trailer for M3GAN, when she starts dancing, there was just something about it. I’m curious how that kind of thing gets built in, even from the page, or whether it was on the page or now, and how that storytelling happens.

**Akela:** It was not. I love it. I love that it’s in there. It’s one of those things that writers are going to have to learn. You guys have dealt with production. On the feature side, when I was writing it, after I turned in the first draft, and I got notes from Atomic Monster and Blumhouse, the mandate was, “We cannot have M3GAN moving that much.” They didn’t know how they were going to build the doll and whether or not it was going to be practical or if it was going to be CG or what. It was like, no matter what, if I’m writing her moving, people are going to see dollar signs. I had to go back into the script and cut out “she runs” or she does this and she does that. It’s a lot of head movements. M3GAN will glance this way, and M3GAN will do that. I knew I could get away with that and-

**Craig:** Eyes.

**Akela:** Yeah, and her talking. As far as arms and limbs and doing all this, even the bully sequence, I wrote it like how Steven Spielberg had to visualize Jaws after Bruce the shark, which I took that name and gave it to Gemma’s first robot in honor of that. I wrote it that you would see her in quick flashes from the bully’s perspective. She would be behind a tree and then this and that.

When we cast an actress to actually physically be there, that just opened up a whole other world. I think it was a situation where, when they were doing location scouting, they really liked that office building, but then you get to that moment, and there’s this long hallway between M3GAN and David, and the question during production was like, how is she going to close that gap? It was like, what if she throws them off some way, somehow? It was like, okay, how is she going to do that? I believe Gerard said the idea of her dancing came to him at 3 a.m. in a dream.

**John:** Great.

**Craig:** Sometimes that works that way. Man, I wish we could show everyone that enjoys movies and television how often some of the things we love come out of the most mundane problem solving, not even problem solving of the romanticized version of how do we make this character interesting? It’s more like, we got to get the doll from here to there really quickly, in a way that makes logical sense, so that the guy down there doesn’t just go, “Bye.” What are we going to do? Then out of these things sometimes comes this fascinating magic.

**Akela:** I remember when I got to see a rough cut. It was a rough cut. They didn’t even have the ending on there. I was like, “What the hell?” Then I just started laughing with everybody else. I was like, “This is odd, but I think it works. Am I crazy? I think it works?”

**Craig:** Whoever the choreographer was, hats off, because I would watch it, and I don’t think my body could do that. There was something about the [indiscernible 00:20:25] that was just so bizarre. It’s interesting that you say that so much of the tone comes from the director. The movie to me only works insofar as I take it seriously. The fun parts are fun, and the campy parts are campy, but if there isn’t something real holding it all together, then it’s just not there. It’s just there’s nothing there. It’s a very ’80s movie in that regard. There were a lot of movies in the ’80s that were horror movies but funny, but horror movies. It was nice. It was such a great throwback to that era.

**Akela:** It was the same thing with Malignant. Obviously, when you’re writing, you’re going to put fun moments in there, because you don’t want it to be super dour. I had jokey moments and stuff like that, but the tone of M3GAN, yeah, that was Gerard looking, because he even hired his friend, who is an actor, is the cop who’s talking to Gemma and is like, “Yeah, that boy’s ear was ripped off and tossed far.” Then he starts laughing. It’s like, “I shouldn’t have done that.” That was an improv on the day. That was Gerard being like, “That was awesome. Let’s keep that.”

As far as Malignant goes, I didn’t sit down at the keyboard like I’m going to write a Giallo horror movie. It was just like, I’m just going to write a straight horror movie. Which characters can I use for humor? The cops. The cops. They wanted more humor, because I think in my original draft, her sister was a psychologist. Again, serious and straight. Then she became an actress towards production. It’s just for more of that humor that James wanted in that, because he very specifically I think wanted to make a Giallo horror film. I did not know that when I was writing it though.

**Craig:** It worked.

**John:** It worked. Congratulations on these films exist. Let’s segue to talking about how we can make movies and TV in a better and different way. Way back, Craig, in 2013, you and I did what was called A Young Billionaire’s Guide to Hollywood. Craig, you said, “This is not a good way to spend a billion dollars if your goal is to have $10 billion.”

**Craig:** I stand by that statement. That is correct.

**John:** A hundred percent. I would say that neither is building a rocket ship or investing in an F1 racing team. You do it because you want to do it. I think if you are a person with a ton of money who wants to throw a ton of money at something, throwing it at Hollywood is not the worst idea.

**Craig:** You’re right, although it does seem lately that large corporations have been investing in Hollywood to try and make 10 times their return, which has been part of the problem.

**John:** It has been a large part of the problem.

**Craig:** Because you’re absolutely right, it used to be, and this will tie into my One Cool Thing when we get to the end of the show, that very wealthy people would buy sports teams because they were very wealthy and they loved sports. If you could break even or make a little bit of money, fantastic, because the point is, I own a sports team. Mark Cuban’s like, “I’m going to buy Mavericks. I don’t care. I love basketball, and that’s how it’s going to go.” What you wouldn’t get so much is the AT&T buys the Yankees because they believe they can leverage it to synergies and blah blah blah. It does seem like some of the money that’s been moving around in our business hasn’t gotten the message that maybe this isn’t just about pure profit.

**John:** You’re talking about corporations, giant corporations swallowing each other to do a thing. I’m talking about, and this is actually something that really comes out of the genre area, is that once upon a time, we used to have independent studios who were making things. We still have some of those in the film side. We have Legendary, which I guess is now not as independent. We have A24, which has done really well for itself, Annapurna. We have Alcon.

**Craig:** There was Annapurna.

**John:** There was Annapurna. Annapurna was a thing. We have Alcon. We have Bold. We have these companies. A lot of times, those film companies are making their mark by producing less expensive genre pictures that do really, really well. In the case of M3GAN, it was a universal release. It could’ve been at A24. A lot of other places could’ve made that movie. It was not an expensive movie to make.

**Craig:** Blumhouse.

**John:** There’s Blumhouse.

**Akela:** Blumhouse, yeah.

**Craig:** That’s what Blumhouse is.

**John:** I think there’s a model for that. Also, I want to reach back to, once upon a time there used to be TV that was done that same way too. We used to have Carsey-Werner. We used to have Stephen Cannell. They weren’t bankrolled by the studios. They brought in their own money. They were able to make things and sell them off to companies.

**Craig:** Sort of, because those, you could make so much money back then. There are few people still making that kind of money now, like the Shonda type money. She makes her company. The studios that made television, Paramount and so on and so forth, would back your show. It would become this massive hit. Stephen Cannell had so many of those, or Aaron Spelling. Then those people would end up with a billion dollars and be like, “I don’t need Paramount now. I’m just going to do it myself.” They had been funded by the studios paying them a lot.

**John:** Things started in a place. Here’s where I think there may be an opportunity now. Just today, as we’re recording this, news came out that Warner’s is negotiating to sell some of the HBO content to Netflix. It tells you that this model of, we’re only going to make things for ourselves and we’re going to keep them inside our little walled garden, may be changing. People may be starting to make stuff for other people, which is really good news, I think, down the road. Akela?

**Akela:** Or it’s like we’ve come back around to what worked before, because back in that area, Fox eventually had Fox Network, but Fox Studio would still sell shows to CBS or ABC and vice versa. Then the goal was, hey, we’re going to get 100 episodes. Then it became 88. Then we’re going to sell it in a syndication, so that you can watch it when you’re at the gym on a fucking treadmill. Supernatural would run in perpetuity on TBS.

It was a system that worked. People made a living. You had your Stephen Cannells and Dick Wolfs. Also, as a middle-class writer, you could make a living, because guess what? You were getting residuals when they sold it into syndication.

**Craig:** You’re absolutely right. The headline, with the Captain Obvious Statement of the year, said, “According to sources, this,” meaning Warner Bros selling some HBO content to Netflix, “is a financial move.” What? Really?

**Akela:** I’m shocked. I’m shocked.

**Craig:** It’s not friendship is magic? This is fascinating to me. It’s really interesting that it’s happening with HBO, because HBO never was engaged in syndication. HBO was always walled off because it was funded entirely by subscriptions through paid television, and those subscriptions were beefed up through the arrangements with carriers, cable companies and satellite companies.

The ritual suicide that our business has engaged in over the last five years, to eliminate all those structures and make sure that everybody can lose as much money as Netflix does, has created a system where that doesn’t even happen anymore. It does make sense. Look, I don’t know if my shows are going to end up there. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as people watch what I do. I don’t see a problem with this. I guess the first thing they’re going to be throwing out there is Insecure. They’re going to put Insecure on Netflix. So many more people are going to watch Insecure on Netflix than ever watched it on HBO. I have no doubt about this. None.

**John:** It’s not just though that the streamers are saying, the stuff we made for our service will actually license to other places. If you’re Sony, this is really good news, because Sony is one of the few places that’s left that does not have its own streamer. If people are more willing to pick up a show that is owned outside of a service, that’s great news. The opportunities to take things that were made just for one place and actually get them monetized other places, it’s going to help everybody out.

**Craig:** Let’s remember that this was how it was even working five years ago, because Netflix was running Friends. Warner Bros had no problem licensing Friends to Netflix and making a gazillion dollars off of it. Then everybody was like, wait, why are we giving all of this stuff to Netflix and building Netflix up, when we could be doing this ourselves? Missing the fact that Netflix was paying them money for something that no longer cost them money to have. We spent all the money required to make Friends. It’s over. Our Friends costs for this year will be zero, and our income will be all of the money that Netflix sends us for Friends. This does make sense.

We will slowly but surely reinvent the wheel. They will call it something new. Eventually, they’re going to figure out how to take all these channels and conglomerate them into networks. We’ll get back to three networks. Nothing new under the sun.

**John:** Absolutely. There will be true streaming services like Netflix, like we’re used to, where there aren’t commercials. Then there’ll be the commercial version of Netflix. Then there will also be Crackle and Pluto and all the other services that are AVOD and selling ads. It’s okay. It’s okay for people to watch things where they watch them and where they end up. That’s fine.

Here’s my pitch though. I think this is an opportunity for the same people who are now trying to make the next deal with Shonda or Greg Berlanti or Ryan Murphy. If you’re a person with a ton of money, why don’t you go to Shonda and say, “Hey, rather than making that deal at that streamer, why don’t we just make a company? We’ll make all the stuff ourselves and license them out to these places.”

**Craig:** You already lost Ryan, because he went to-

**Akela:** He’s back at Disney.

**John:** He’s back at Disney apparently.

**Akela:** He’s back at Fox by way of Disney.

**Craig:** Disney-Fox.

**John:** Disney-Fox.

**Craig:** Fisney.

**John:** Akela, someone comes up to you with this offer. Do you do it? You have experience in film and TV. Would you?

**Akela:** Yes. If someone is going to be like, “Hey, I’m going to give you x billions of dollars.” Am I making my own network, or am I just making shows?

**John:** You’re Carsey-Werner.

**Craig:** Production company.

**John:** You’re making shows. You’re a production company. You’d do that?

**Akela:** Yes, in a heartbeat. We all have friends who have cool fucking ideas that do not get on air because of the bullshit way this industry works now. It’s so frustrating. It’s so frustrating. I’ve had this happen. I had this happen before the Strike, where it was like, streaming service not to be named was like, “Oh my god, we love your original idea.” I’m like, “Great, I’ve got heat on me. This is going to happen.” Then they took a week, and they came back, and it’s like, “We don’t know if it’s a sure thing, so can you go get a director and an actor attached to this?” It’s like, no.

**Craig:** Do the work of a production company, but you’re not going to be a production company. You’re not going to own anything, but do all the things that owners do. By the way, even if you don’t have any friends at all, which I’m working my way towards that-

**Akela:** Oh my gosh.

**Craig:** Even if you have one show that you make that is a big hit, if you own it, you are going to make vastly more money than if you don’t. The trick of it is, in the old days there was deficit financing of shows. Shows cost more than the license fees that they received from the networks to air them.

Paramount produces a show, and every episode costs, I don’t know, let’s just say a million dollars. It wasn’t that, but let’s just say a million. CBS says, “We’ll give you 500 grand for the rights to air that.” They’re losing a half a million dollars per episode until it hits that magic amount quantity, 100 back then, where you could sell them to syndication, and then boom, all profit all day long, and in perpetuity. If you’re a show like Seinfeld, it never ends. Deficit financing things is tricky for individuals to do, but yeah, in today’s day and age, where a lot of these shows are not producing 22 episodes…

**Akela:** If someone came to me, I would be like, obviously, I’m going to make my show, because now I don’t have to listen to nopes I don’t want to listen to. Again, my friends who have cool ideas that I would love to see as shows, that are different, that bring in different perspectives. It’s like, fuck it, let’s just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. That’s what everyone else is doing, even though they try to pretend that by going into the past and figuring out what worked before and just repeating that until that horse has been beyond beaten to death, I would be different in that it’s like, I’m going to take a risk, and I know it’s a risk. I’m not going to fire myself if it doesn’t work.

**Craig:** That’s absolutely true.

**John:** Akela, part of what you’re describing might also be, you might want to do a process where rather than shooting an entire season, you might want to actually shoot an episode and see if it works.

**Akela:** What?

**John:** You might actually want to test that. Maybe we could figure out how to do that too.

**Akela:** What would we even call-

**John:** The flyer.

**Akela:** … that thing?

**John:** What would we call the one episode that’s-

**Akela:** If you’re getting in a plane and you’re guiding it, it’s like piloting something?

**John:** Like a pilot? Oh, a pilot?

**Craig:** No, no, no, I hate that. Let’s call it something better. Let’s call it a winger, because you’re winging it. It’s a winger.

**John:** It’s a winger.

**Craig:** The winger wasn’t great, so we’re not picking it up. This is where late-stage capitalism goes. We’ll make everything a pilot. Everything’s now a pilot. The whole season’s a pilot.

Listen. I don’t want to over-romanticize. The old system made an enormous amount of crap. Television was just awful for a long time. It was really a lot of crap. A lot of corny crap. They would make all these pilots. The pilot system, by all accounts, was pretty demeaning. It was this horrible rat race where everyone’s chewing at each other to be the last show that’s picked up from the pilot stuff. The fact that a lot of people were employed doesn’t negate the fact that the people that were in charge of picking pilots and then putting those shows together were kind of crappy shows, were subject to horrible amounts of testing. Networks are still doing people turning dials up and down. “I don’t like her. Her jawbone’s too pointy.” She’s gone. Next. Boom. It wasn’t all sugar and rainbows.

**John:** Craig, there’s a difference between a pilot and pilot season. Pilot season was terrible, because it was [inaudible 00:35:15]. It was artificial scarcity of actors and directors and talent and locations. The idea of being able to see what the thing is before you had to make the full thing is a huge benefit. We had the Game of Thrones guys on to talk about their pilot process and how much they learned shooting a pilot of that show, which was a godsend for them. We could take the best things about the previous system and the best things about the new system and marry them together, I hope, to make something better.

**Craig:** That sounds like a brilliant idea. Let’s do that.

**Akela:** Again, it was also a time where people would just try things. Occasionally, you would get something like The X-Files. That worked. I don’t think at the time that the studio was like, “Oh my god, this is amazing.” It was like, “It works. Slap it on Fridays and see what happens.”

**Craig:** Absolutely. Seinfeld and Cheers come to mind as two shows that were abject failures at the start, just full-on fucking failures, and then they weren’t. Once they caught on, and that’s a lot of television to make, sweating bullets, hoping that people finally catch on. Then they do. There were risks that occurred, and there were rewards that occurred. There was a lot of middle-of-the-roadism also, for sure. There was just some common sense that had been picked up over the years. Pilot season only existed because of cars.

**Akela:** They were sold in the fall.

**Craig:** They were sold in the fall, so that’s when the new show started.

**Akela:** Cars were sold year-round, but the new models would come out.

**Craig:** The new models would come out in September, and the car companies needed new shows to run the ads on. That’s why we ended up with what we ended up with. All that’s gone out the door. It will never go back to what it was, but you can feel…

It was almost like everyone looked around and said, “Nothing about what Netflix is doing makes sense, but obviously, it must make sense, so let’s do what they’re doing, because it couldn’t be that none of that makes sense.” Then they all started doing it. Then they were like, “Oh, no, it doesn’t make sense. It actually doesn’t make sense. We should stop and start going back to stuff that makes sense,” which they are now painfully doing. It seems like there is a painful course correction going on here. The pain is entirely self-inflicted by this industry.

**Akela:** It is. Everyone got enthralled by the idea of subscribers. I am of average intelligence. I will admit that. Sometimes things just do not make sense to me, like NFTs. What the fuck?

**Craig:** NFTs are stupid, and people started to realize that.

**Akela:** Has no one considered that if everyone has a streaming platform, there’s only so many subscribers to go around? What do they think is going to happen? Now we know. It’s imploding.

**Craig:** Now we know. If the only way you can keep your business afloat is by constantly growing your subscriber base, you’re going to run out.

**John:** You’re going to run into a hard cap there.

**Craig:** You’re going to run out. It just doesn’t work. Also, do you remember how expensive cable used to be if you threw HBO and Showtime on there? Oh my god. The bill was 250 bucks a month or something. Now it’s like, if I spend 15 and 15 and 15 and 15 and 15, I can get what I used to get for $300? Yeah, I’ll do that. They devalued their own stuff. They busted all the partnerships they have that created structure.

Again, not sugarcoating the way the past was, but at least from a financial point of view, none of this stuff makes sense to me. I’ve never understood it. I’ve always felt like, I don’t have to. It’s a little bit like I do what I do. Billionaires do what billionaires do. I don’t want a billion dollars. Let them go do that. It does feel like some obvious NFT style what is catching up to us all.

**John:** I see two listener questions here, which I think might be fantastic for our guest here today. Drew, can you help us out?

**Drew Marquardt:** Adam in London writes, “I’m wondering if you have any advice for what I call freeze-frame details in screenplays? These are the kind of details that viewers will only see on a second watch of the film. They might even have to slow down the film or freeze-frame it to see it properly. I’m thinking of the kind of little clues in movies like Hereditary or the subliminal flashes of Tyler Durden in Fight Club. These moments shouldn’t really register for viewers the first time around, so is it odd to signpost them to the reader in the script? Any advice on how you’d word such a moment?”

**Akela:** I usually do signpost them for the reader, just because again, having gone through this process, I’m not going to say executives have gotten lazier, but a lot of people don’t really read scripts, they skim them. Hopefully, your director is going to read it, but you run the risk of things being cut if they’re like, “Oh, we need to get the page count down,” or, “We need to get to this event faster.” I will underline or bold some things in the script, because it forces the reader, the executive, to look at that. This is necessary. If I need to, I can’t remember what script I did this on, but I will be like, hey, this is important.

There was a script recently, pre-Strike, pens down, but yeah, I had a moment where I’m like, “I’m going to highlight this. It will be important later.” Then later on it’s like, “Hey, remember that time I said this was going to be important? Here’s why.” I just want to make sure that the reader, before I’m even given those notes, knows that that moment is important. It’s more of an executive thing than a director thing, because again, I you’ve got a good director, they’re going to read the whole thing. I do highlight those moments however I can in my voice. I think the listener should highlight them in their voice.

**John:** Adam’s also asking about Easter eggs, so things that you might not notice that very first time you’re watching the movie. On a second viewing of Malignant, you might spot some little thing that you didn’t see the first time. That’s maybe not crucial to the initial plot, but it’s rewarding. Akela, can you think of any examples of that where it’s a piece of logic or a piece of something that you’ve put in a script that is maybe not essential for the first viewing of the film, but you need to make sure it’s there for the story to track and make sense?

**Akela:** Again, that would be in the script that I’m currently writing.

**John:** You’re doing it then.

**Akela:** Yes. I don’t say it’s an Easter egg, but in a TV episode, and again, I can’t remember, it was like, on second viewing, the audience should notice this. I have written that in TV scripts, I know.

**John:** I’ve written exactly that, that wording too. Craig, for what you’ve been working on, have there been any examples of things where you’re writing something which you know the viewer’s not going to really catch this the first time through, but will it be meaningful the second time, or that only in a later episode we realize that this line of dialogue is important.

**Craig:** If it’s important, it’s important. That’s how I think about it. If I needed to be in there, either for super fans or people who are obsessive, then it’s going in. Like both of you, I will call it out, so that it’s understood that it’s not just a random detail that should have the same weight as everything else. It is important, even though it seems maybe like it’s not.

Now, there are things that emerge almost always through production, because you capture something, and you’re not quite sure what to do with it, or you get an idea, and you’re like, “Hey, you, go over there, shoot this thing. I don’t know if I’m going to use it or not, but I might.” Then you do, because it’s good. It’s interesting.

One example from Chernobyl, this moment in the episode where it concentrates on the liquidators, the soldiers who went to go clean up Chernobyl, there’s a moment where one of the soldiers sings this traditional Russian song, which lo and behold, is sad. I think it’s called Black Crow. It’s beautiful. It wasn’t anything that we knew about. I didn’t know about it. Johan didn’t know about it. One of the actors was Russian and was just singing it one day, because he said this whole place where we were shooting reminded him of that. I was like, “Here we go.” Sometimes, those things happen.

Because that was a moment where someone was singing something in Russian, we had no expectation that anyone was going to think it was anything other than just some sort of, there’s Russian singing happening now, but not, oh, the lyrics are incredibly poignant and relevant. We just decided screw it, if people are interested, they’ll research it up, and they did. It’s a combination of happy accidents or things that you just, they’re important to you, and that’s enough.

**John:** Yeah. Drew, another question for us?

**Drew:** IMS in Toronto says, “I’m an outlier who doesn’t particularly care about character names. As an audience member, I always seem to forget them or confuse them, and as a writer, I try to avoid them as much as I can. I’m currently writing a story set in the near future, and I refer to all my characters by their profession, you know, reporter, doctor, professor, etc. Since the characters in the story don’t really know each other, there’s no good reason for them to refer to each other by name either. I believe most viewers wouldn’t even realize none of them have proper names. However, a reader told me I should definitely conventionally name the characters for the sake of producers. He says that being an unknown writer, I should avoid straying too much from established standards. He also says that should the script ever get produced, actors might be turned off by the fact that they be playing engineer versus a cool character name. I think that not having a proper character name plays well into a heightened futuristic vibe and vision for the show, but what’s your instinct on this?”

**Akela:** If you believe that in your future world, names are not important, that needs to become a part of the world. That is why they are just called engineer or doctor. Play that up so that the reader understands, oh, this is a world where no one has a proper name. Then you’re not getting notes from executives or actors, because my first thought was like, man, so many actors are going to be like, “What the hell? No,” if only for those IMDb credits, because even now, we’re told, even if it’s just someone who has one line, don’t just put bartender or lady coming out of the bathroom. Give that person a name so that it’s a human being on the IMDb credit.

**John:** I always love that IMDb credit which is like “guy pissing at urinal.”

**Craig:** It’s a great credit.

**John:** The best.

**Craig:** That credit is evocative.

**Akela:** I am someone who’s obsessed with character names. I literally a couple of days ago called my mom, because I’m writing personally, pencils down, something for myself, and it’s set in my hometown. I needed names from the ’90s. I was like, “Hey, can you go get my brother’s yearbook and just start taking photos of his classmates?” I build names off of that.

It is intriguing. That could also be his Wes Anderson thing. We all know a Wes Anderson movie when we fucking see one. If his thing is I don’t want character names, these characters are their professions, that’s a thing. That’s his thing. Again, just make it part of his specific aesthetic in that world, and I think you’ll be fine.

**Craig:** I agree. I actually love this idea. Let me tell you what I don’t love. What I don’t love is anyone who says any version of, “Because you’re an unknown writer, you should not do following.” Fuck that. You’re saying I shouldn’t do a thing that known writers do? If you’re successful and you do this thing, I, being not successful, shouldn’t emulate what successful people do. The thing that successful people do very successfully is not give a fuck about stuff like that. It’s an interesting choice.

It worries me that it’s a show as opposed to a movie, just because 20 episodes in, I do want to get to know people a little bit more intimately, but my guess is you would. At some point, you would. If we’re just talking about a script… Even for the actors, I think when the actor realizes, oh yeah, by the way, Pacino signed on to be Doctor, so it’s okay that we’re coming to you for Lawyer. I think it’s a really interesting thing.

I don’t know who the reader is. I don’t care about crap like that. I’m not interested in readers giving that kind of input. Story input, character input, flow of narrative, all that stuff. It’s when readers put on the “if I ran a studio” hat. You don’t. In fact, your name in my movie would be Reader, so yeah, do that part.

**Akela:** It is interesting. Sorry, I didn’t realize this was a show. I thought it was a movie.

**Craig:** He said show at some point, or she.

**Akela:** They.

**Craig:** They.

**Akela:** It was a show. That would be an interesting thing. Also, what happens when you have two doctors?

**Craig:** You have Tall Doctor and Short Doctor.

**Akela:** Yes, you have to start getting into descriptors. I’m fascinated with the person who asked the question was like, “The characters don’t know each other, so they don’t really address each other by name,” which okay, but if you have Doctor and Engineer talking about Architect, what are they saying?

**Craig:** That’s where I’m not quite sure, since it’s set in the future, even though near future, if this is just a convention that’s occurred societally or if it’s something that’s specific about this other planet or if it’s just that thing where this person says the characters in the story don’t really know each other. There’s no good reason for them to refer to each other by name either. I should say as an aside, one of my pet peeves is when people are constantly using each other’s names with them.

**John:** Their names when they wouldn’t be, yeah.

**Craig:** We just don’t do that. Sometimes I realize, oh my god, I’ve made it to the end of the script, and no one ever said this person’s name out loud, because they didn’t have to. At some point, we do need to know what it is. It would be one thing if IMS said, “They’re going to be called Reporter, Doctor, Professor, and they will never have a name beyond that.” That’s a super hard choice to make.

**John:** It’s a choice.

**Craig:** It’s a choice. If the theory is at some point we’ll learn their names, and actually that’s kind of a big deal, that’s fascinating. Then learning their name becomes really interesting, because when we find out someone’s name that we’ve been talking to or having a connection with, it’s a moment. It’s an interesting moment.

**John:** Absolutely. I agree with everything that’s been said. I think what we need to remember about a name though is it’s not just a thing, handy little handle for our reader, it’s also how people in the world can refer to each other. I think IMS is going to run into problems where they need to talk about that person to a third party, and you just have no way to do that.

Watching a Game of Thrones, most of the time I could not remember any of those characters’ names. We have shorthand in the house, but the tall guy, or the guy who’s traveling with her. You figure out that kind of stuff. You have ways to talk about people. You end up inventing names for people, even if the show itself does not give the person a name. They’re going to be finding ways to identify those people. Let’s do our One Cool Things. Craig, I see you’ve added a One Cool Thing, so I don’t want to take it away from you here.

**Craig:** You wouldn’t, but I don’t always have a One Cool Thing. I like that now it’s special. It takes me forever to watch things. I have been just getting the quiet, passive-aggressive stink eye from Rob McElhenney for months now, because I hadn’t watched his documentary show on Hulu called Welcome to Wrexham.

Welcome to Wrexham is the documentary story of the English football team, the footy club, that he and Ryan Reynolds purchased in Wrexham, Wales, and the story of this team that’s buried in a fairly low-level tier of English football, struggling to make it to get promoted to the next level up.

Finally, I couldn’t handle it anymore, and so I did it. I was going to do it anyway. You watch something for a friend. When you start, it’s a little bit homeworky. I was so in on this thing, within, I don’t know, seven minutes. I was so in on it. It is so well done. It is so charming. It is so sweet. It is not at all what you think it’s going to be. Yes, there is some fun bits of football, but I don’t care about soccer. I’ve never cared about soccer, and furthermore, I never will. What I am obsessed with, stories of economically depressed towns in the United Kingdom. Boy, do I-

**John:** Billy Elliot, yeah, right there.

**Craig:** Oh, Billy Elliot, how you claim my heart, or In the Name of the Father, or any movie that deals with the economically… The Full Monty. There’s so many. What a genre. I love that genre. This is true. This is real people. It focuses on a certain kind of segment of English society that we just generally don’t see. We see lords and ladies, and we see the royalty, and this is something else.

First of all, Rob and Ryan are both, not only on television, but in person, just lovely human beings. They’re just quality humans. What you see is what you get. They’re authentic, and you can tell. What they’ve done for this town and what has happened to this town is pretty remarkable. It is a delight. It is funny at times. It is exhilarating at times and very, very sweet always.

As a kicker for those of you who are Scriptnotes fans, they sent over a gentleman named Humphrey Ker to be their emissary. Humphrey is an Englishman. For those of you who are Scriptnotes fans, he is Megan Ganz’s husband, so Megan Ganz, who’s been on our show and who’s a wonderful person. I met Humphrey when we were all in those early, heady days of Mythic Quest, figuring out what that show was. Humphrey was on staff there as well and also played a part on the show. Big recommendation for Welcome to Wrexham. It is on Hulu. There are a lot of episodes.

**John:** There are a lot of episodes. There are a lot of episodes.

**Craig:** There are a lot of episodes, but they’re 25, 30 minutes long. They go down easy, quick, and you do not need to like either soccer or Britain.

**John:** Or human beings.

**Craig:** Really, or humans. If you like Rob and Ryan, I think you’ll be okay. In fact, if you like Rob or Ryan, you’ll be fine.

**John:** One of the two. A difference between you and me, Craig, so Rob is your friend, Ryan is my friend. I watched it the day it came out and then texted him.

**Craig:** Yeah, because you’re literally a fucking Eagle Scout. You are literally an Eagle Scout. Do you know how many badges I earned as a Boy Scout? Guess.

**John:** Two?

**Craig:** Zero, because I was never a Boy Scout, nor would I ever be. How dare you.

**John:** You should’ve been. My One Cool Thing is shorter and simpler. An article by Clare Watson in Nature called Evolution Keeps Making Crabs, And Nobody Knows Why.

**Craig:** What kind of crabs are we talking about here?

**John:** You know evolution. Evolution, things adapted to their environment. They change. You have trees of things that grow out. You see, oh, these would be all the crabs. For some reason, crabs have independently developed many, many times. They are not related in ways that they should be related. They will develop claws and pincers in ways that they work. There’s true crabs and not true crabs. There’s something about the biomechanical form of crabs that is-

**Craig:** I’m literally laughing every single sentence that you say the word crabs.

**John:** I say crabs. It’s great.

**Craig:** Every single one is funny. Keep going.

**John:** There’s something about crabs, Craig.

**Craig:** Yes, there is.

**John:** They just get under your skin. They’re an irritant.

**Craig:** You keep scratching at this, you’re going to get to something important.

**John:** You keep scratching, I’m going to get to something good here. How they work in multiple environments has given them some sort of evolutionary advantage. We keep coming back to crabs for some reason. I think at some point, we’ll be visited by an alien species, and they will probably be crab-like, because it just seems to be a very effective form.

**Craig:** Have you seen the South Park episode where they go underground and meet the crab people?

**John:** I do not remember a crab people episode of that.

**Craig:** Spectacular.

**John:** I’m sure. I’m sure it’s spectacular.

**Craig:** Crab people. Crab people. The headline here, we’ve discussed many times that people who write articles do not write the headlines that go on the articles. I can’t give Clare Watson credit for this. Clare Watson wrote the article that you’re referring to here. Somebody at sciencealert.com wrote this headline, Evolution Keeps Making Crabs, And Nobody Knows Why. That’s awesome. Nobody?

**John:** Nobody.

**Craig:** What? Where are all these crabs coming from, evolution? This is also delightful.

**John:** It is delightful. You look through the tree here, and you see, oh, why did it happen this way? We don’t know.

**Craig:** Nobody knows.

**John:** Crabs.

**Craig:** Crabs. People.

**John:** Akela, what do you have for us?

**Akela:** I guess overall it’s Arnold Schwarzenegger.

**Craig:** That works.

**Akela:** I’m a fan of documentaries, and I recently watched the Arnold doc on Netflix. Also just being an ’80s baby, Arnold Schwarzenegger was huge in my household. My dad is a huge Conan the Barbarian fan, so he watched it all the time. I love Terminator, Commando, Predator. We’ve talked about Predator.

**Craig:** Commando.

**Akela:** I’m just fascinated by that era. I’m also in the process of reading this book called The Last Action Heroes: The Triumphs, Flops, and Feuds of Hollywood’s Kings of Carnage, which is basically about that period in the ’80s between Schwarzenegger, Stallone-

**Craig:** Stallone.

**Akela:** … Van Dam, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan. It is fascinating to just see behind the curtain of that and how much Stallone and Schwarzenegger actually hated each other. It was basically like evolutionary warfare. They were each other’s inspiration. I think after Stallone did Rambo, Schwarzenegger was like, “I need a movie like that.” Commando came out.

**Craig:** Commando happened. Did they talk about how Stallone ended up in, I think it was Stop or My Mom Will Shoot?

**Akela:** No, I haven’t gotten to that part yet. I am on-

**Craig:** It’s incredible.

**Akela:** He has just directed Staying Alive.

**Craig:** All I’ll say is, Schwarzenegger is an evil genius. That’s all I’m going to say. Let’s see if they get to it. It’s spectacular.

**Akela:** Oh my god, you watch the documentaries. I am on TikTok, and so sometimes there will be clips from old movies. There’s this interview with Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura, which I think is part of the behind the scenes on Predator. Jesse Ventura was like, “I went into wardrobe and I found out that my bicep was one inch bigger than Schwarzenegger’s. I was bragging about it.” Then Schwarzenegger was like, “Good, because I went in before him and I told the wardrobe lady to measure him and lie and say his bicep was bigger than mine, so that then I could go and bet him a bottle of champagne that it wasn’t true.” He is a mastermind. It’s so weird how cunning and charming Arnold Schwarzenegger is. He has done awful things. In the documentary, he actually owns up to all of that. That man’s mind is like a steep trap. It’s since he was a child too.

**Craig:** I will say that the bicep trick, it’s almost exactly what he does to Stallone, except on a scale that is so terrifying, and that led to an entire movie being made that should’ve never been made. It’s astonishing.

**John:** I love it.

**Akela:** I look forward to that. That’s what my Cool Thing right now is. Again, I just love ’80s action movies, ’80s horror movies.

**Craig:** Have you ever seen the little best of moments from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s DVD commentary on Conan the Barbarian?

**Akela:** A long time ago.

**Craig:** John, have you ever seen it?

**John:** You’ve talked me through them. It sounds amazing. I think over D and D we’ve talked about it. It’s great.

**Craig:** It’s so special. “Look at [indiscernible 01:00:27]. Look at him. Now he’s turning into a snake.” He’s just saying what you’re looking at. “Now he’s drinking the liquid.”

**John:** It’s descriptions for the visually impaired and blind. I love it.

**Craig:** It’s incredible. He’s so drunk when he’s doing it. He’s so clearly shit-faced.

**Akela:** One of the great things years ago was the musicals on YouTube of his movies, like Commando the musical. Oh my god.

**Craig:** I gotta check that out.

**Akela:** You have to watch this. It’s hilarious.

**Craig:** Love Commando.

**John:** We’ll add it to the list.

**Craig:** “Hey Bennett, why don’t you let off a little steam?”

**Akela:** It really is them singing. It’s like, “Bennett, John, I’m here again.”

**Craig:** What is his name? It’s John. What is it again? It’s a name that a man with a strong Austrian accent would not have.

**John:** Perfect.

**Craig:** He plays John Matrix. That’s his name, John Matrix, you know, a very popular name in [crosstalk 01:01:25], John Matrix.

**John:** Matrix.

**Craig:** “I’m John Matrix.”

**Akela:** It’s just at some point, he was so successful. People were just like, “We don’t care how he got the accent.”

**Craig:** It doesn’t matter.

**Akela:** It makes no sense how he has any of the jobs he does.

**John:** Love it.

**Craig:** Just the armory bunker that he has in Commando alone, which I loved. I loved that. I was like, “He’s got a special secret room full of all the weapons in the world.” Anyway, that’s our show.

**John:** That’s our show. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt.

**Craig:** Wahoo!

**John:** It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** Woo-woo!

**John:** Our outro is by Nora Beyer. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you can find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing.

We have T-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau. Craig, I forgot to send you, I think I did text you the new Scriptnotes T-shirt. Did I send it to you?

**Craig:** I don’t think you did.

**John:** You can picture the CBS Special Presentation, right?

**Craig:** (sings)

**John:** Imagine that with the word Scriptnotes coming in and that color pattern.

**Craig:** All I want to wear. Just get me an entire wardrobe of that.

**John:** They’re absolutely gorgeous. You will love them.

**Craig:** That was before your time, Akela, I’m guessing, the CBS Special Presentation intro music? (sings)

**Akela:** I think so, yeah.

**Craig:** That was such dopamine for ’70s kids.

**John:** Oh my god.

**Craig:** That meant something fucking incredible was about to go down.

**John:** Was about to happen.

**Craig:** Whether it was like, it’s Rikki-Tikki-Tavi or it’s whatever, it’s some animated awesomeness or some just incredible thing.

**John:** Not a Bond movie, because CBS didn’t have the Bond movies, but something great like that was going to be on. So good.

**Craig:** Something awesome. It would spin. Crack. Crack for ‘70s kids.

**John:** So good. So good. You can sign up to become a Premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and bonus segments, like the one we should record, although we’re running out of time. Akela, are we willing to talk about the writers’ programs you went through before you started your staff writing career? Because I’m really curious how those went for you and what you think about the changes there.

**Akela:** Yes.

**John:** Akela Cooper, thank you so much for coming on Scriptnotes. It was an absolute delight to get to talk to you about Schwarzenegger and genre and how to change the film and television industry.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**John:** You’re an absolute hero [indiscernible 01:03:52].

**Akela:** Thank you. This was fun.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Akela, so you, before you started as a staff writer on V, you had gone through film school. You’d also done two different writing programs. Can you tell us about what you learned in those different programs and how they helped or did not help you get started as a television writer?

**Akela:** They both helped tremendously. As somebody who’s a little bit socially awkward, I did the CBS writers’ program first, and it was really helpful in helping to set expectations for staff writers when we are on the show. For lack of a better phrase, a lot of times, staff writers don’t know how to act in the writers’ room. That can often be to their detriment, which will lead to them not being asked back. We had people who would come in. Showrunners would come in and talk to us about expectations and answer our questions, like, is this okay, is that not okay.

It was just a great experience in how to navigate potential scenarios and also just building a network of people that we could reach out to, whether it was like… I’m actually still friends with Carole Kirschner, who runs the CBS writers’ program. I had a great mentor in Leigh Redman, who was at CBS at the time. If ever I felt lost, I would be like, “Hey, can you guys help me out here? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” or on that level.

We also did mock writers’ rooms. It was like, hey, we’re going to break an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. John Worth came in to talk us through that, show us the ropes of what a writers’ room does and how it operates before we actually got into one. It set us up for success.

Warner Bros operates in pretty much the same way. It was just another bite at the apple. It’s like, okay, this is what you do for this situation, and this is what you do for this situation. Warner Bros was also very helpful in getting most of us representation. I got my manager through the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop, which I still have today. I think he and I are going on 14 years together.

**John:** A question for you, Akela. You are a huge success. You came out of these programs and are a huge success. Of your cohorts who are in those programs, how many of them are workings as writers today, top of your head? A bunch?

**Akela:** A bunch. In CBS, I can say Aaron Rahsaan Thomas was a showrunner for SWAT on CBS. From CBS, he ended up getting on Friday Night Lights. Janet Lynn did a bunch. She did Bones, I think after CBS, meaning that’s the job that she got coming out of the program. She’s been working her way up. Those are the two off the top of my head. I think there’s another one who ended up in animation, who was with us in our program. He was doing well in animation. Warner Bros, Lilla and Nora Zuckerman, who were the showrunners recently on Poker Face. Now I need to look up all of our class. Most of us are working.

**John:** That’s a pretty good hit rate. It feels like it was a good investment for these programs to have spent the time and money on you guys to make sure that you had this training, because now you’re able to make shows for these networks, which is amazing. Now, talk to us about what you learned in those programs versus learned at USC and film school? You went through a graduate screenwriting program?

**Akela:** Yes. Love USC, as someone who had no connections to the industry here. It was helpful for me. I know a lot of people don’t need grad school. You don’t have to spend that money. Again, I went to USC for feature writing, not knowing there was… At the time, there was a nascent TV program. I got into that, because we would have to take one class. I ended up discovering this whole new world that I did not know existed beforehand.

USC is what got me into television. It opened my eyes in that way. I had a lot of good professors who were very supportive, because a lot of people think that USC, especially at the time, was like, “This is where you go to make several blockbusters. They don’t care about art or anything like that. That’s what you go to NYU for.” Our professors were like, “No, write what you want to write. Write what you are passionate about.” They were very nurturing and encouraging in that aspect and just teaching us.

As far as features goes, I did need to learn structure, because I had written scripts in high school and college. They’re trash. It was very helpful. There’s a structure, first act, second act, third act. You can break it up into five acts if you fucking feel like it. There’s a structure to movies.

Also, even with USC, it’s like, nothing else matters if no one cares about the characters. That was the big thing at USC. It’s like, you gotta get your audience invested in your characters no matter what you are writing. It was a really good experience in setting me up to learn the basics before you start going off and breaking the rules.

**John:** Akela, can I guess that USC was really good in theory and how to get words on the page, but these programs were how to actually be a working writer in the business? Is that a fair difference?

**Akela:** USC was like, you had deadlines and you had to turn in pages, but CBS and Warner Bros is like, you got two weeks usually. It doesn’t matter, when you’re on a show, what you are going through. You gotta turn in your scripts. It’s a machine. Of course, this was network television that they were focusing on at the time. It’s like, once that production train is moving, they’re not going to stop for you as a staff writer, so you have to learn how to hit your deadlines and make your showrunner’s life easier.

**John:** Craig, you have never been a big fan of organized education over screenwriting or television writing. Hearing this description of the writers’ programs at these studios, what’s your instinct? What do you feel?

**Craig:** They’re proper vocational programs. It makes absolute sense. In most, we’ll call them crafts, trades, there is a job training that is run either by an employer, which in this case is what this is, or they’re also apprenticeship programs that are run through unions. What you don’t do is spend $80,000 a year to have somebody lecture to you about arc welding. You instead are employed and trained as an arc welder. You learn how to arc weld from folks in the arc welders local whatever. Then you start arc welding.

I am fully in favor of all vocational programs like this, but particularly these programs that are run by the companies, because they’re certainly not going to be leading you down a primrose path. They’re going to be teaching you how to work for them. That’s what they’re there for. Big thumb’s up to any vocational program. Not so much of a thumb’s up to expensive graduate programs.

**John:** Akela, what is the status of these programs right now? Some were canceled. Some were reinstated. Do we know where these programs are at right now?

**Akela:** I believe CBS is still going, but Warner Bros has been dismantled due to-

**Craig:** I thought they brought it back. I thought there was an outcry.

**Akela:** There was. From what I understand, I don’t think it’s going to be the same thing. I could be wrong. The program, as far as I knew it, is no longer there.

**John:** Of course, one of the issues also is how our industry works, is that these programs can train a bunch of writers inside their programs, but those people are going to be working for all the other networks. I can see someone looking at this as a cost on a balance sheet and saying, oh, why should we be paying to train writers for Netflix or for other people. It’s short-term thinking, but also that’s the frustration.

**Akela:** I think CBS joined, because when I did CBS, they didn’t pay for you as a staff writer, which is a point of contention, but Warner Bros. The idea was that Warner Bros didn’t want their own farm system. We were like Triple-A baseball. They were going to invest money in us.

On V, because I got V through Warner Bros, they paid for me. My salary did not come out of the show’s budget. That’s what that means. I think they would do that for two years, because they do want to start you off as a staff writer, and hopefully you get on a hit show and you work your way up and then they’ve got a showrunner down the line. The original idea of the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop was that, yes, they’re going to do what you say, John, they’re going to invest money in us, and then years later they’re going to have a trained showrunner within their camp.

**Craig:** I think Universal’s feature development program works similarly, where they’re like, look, we’re going to put you through this program. You’re going to learn these things. We’re basically giving you a blind script deal for something. We can also put something on you. We can assign you something. The point is, you’re going to write something here. You’re going to write it for… There are definitely ways to make it function.

The expense of these programs is couch change. It’s not an actual number that is relevant to the operation of these companies. No offense to Mr. Zaslav, but every time he sneezes more money comes out than the amount that any of those programs cost. If they want to say that, they can say it, but that ain’t why. It’s usually because it’s a hassle to make a program, find people to run the program, deal with people having issues with the program, and then figuring out who should be in the program. It’s annoying. Doing things is hard. It’s so much easier to not do things than to do things, so they don’t want to do things. This is worth doing. It would be hard for anybody to defend not doing it with any excuse other than, “I don’t want to.” That’s the only actual legitimate excuse I can imagine.

**John:** Akela Cooper, thank you so much.

**Akela:** Thank you.

**Craig:** Thank you, Akela.

**John:** Bye.

**Craig:** Bye.

Links:

* Akela Cooper on [IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm4868455/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/akelacooper/)
* [Paramount Writers Mentoring Program](https://www.paramount.com/writers-mentoring-program)(formerly CBS Writers Mentoring Program)
* [Warner Bros. Television Workshop](https://televisionworkshop.warnerbros.com/)
* [M3GAN Dance Scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c7XccFwJrQ)
* [Episode 122: “Young Billionaires Guide to Hollywood”](https://johnaugust.com/2013/young-billionaires-guide-to-hollywood)
* [Ben Affleck And Matt Damon Launch Production Company With RedBird Capital’s Gerry Cardinale](https://deadline.com/2022/11/ben-affleck-matt-damon-launch-production-company-with-redbird-capital-1235178013/) by Bruce Haring for Variety
* [Warner Bros. Discovery In Talks To License HBO Original Series To Netflix](https://deadline.com/2023/06/warner-bros-discovery-in-talks-to-license-hbo-original-series-to-netflix-1235421444/) by Peter White for Deadline
* [The Carsey-Werner Company](https://www.carseywerner.com/) on [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Carsey-Werner_Company)
* [Чёрный Ворон (Black Raven) – Chernobyl OST](https://youtu.be/-q23tuds2ZU)
* [Evolution Keeps Making Crabs, And Nobody Knows Why](https://www.sciencealert.com/evolution-keeps-making-crabs-and-nobody-knows-why) by Clare Watson for Science Alert
* [Welcome to Wrexham](https://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/welcome-to-wrexham) on FX and Hulu
* [Arnold](https://www.netflix.com/title/81317673) on Netflix
* [The Last Action Heroes](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/668268/the-last-action-heroes-by-nick-de-semlyen/) by Nick de Semlyen
* [Commando: The Musical](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FFQ_g8OoQM)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [Craig Mazin](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/) on Instagram
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Nora Beyer ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli). Our intern is Halley Lamberson.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/603standard.mp3).

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