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Scriptnotes, Episode 715: The Book Launch, Live!, Transcript

December 10, 2025 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hey, this is John. Standard warning for people who are in the car with their kids, there’s some swearing in this episode.

[music]
[applause]

Craig Mazin: Look at this beautiful crowd.

John: It’s lovely.

Craig: Beautiful.

John: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: This is Scriptnotes, a podcast and now a book about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Craig: Yes.

[applause]

John: For folks listening at home, we are at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. It is our book launch party. Craig, how are you feeling?

Craig: I feel very grateful because I believe everyone here is here because they bought a book.

John: They got a book.

Craig: Thank you.

John: This is the most books you’ll ever see in one place for Scriptnotes. Everyone has an orange book in their hands.

Craig: Yes. Cut to 400 years from now-

John: Absolutely.

Craig: -and our book is The Constitution of the New Country.

[laughter]

John: It’s the new Bible.

Craig: Yes. It’s Little Red Book.

John: Little Red Book.

Craig: Yes.

John: We have an amazing show for you today. We have Julia Turner here. She’s going to interrogate us about the Scriptnotes book.

Craig: Yes.

John: We’re also going to talk about Craig’s favorite topic, which is criticism.

Craig: Yes, I love it.

John: Love it.

Craig: Love it.

[laughter]

Craig: Can’t wait to talk with her about that.

John: Ashley Nicole Black will help us make a meal of leftovers.

[applause]

John: We’ll have audience questions. Craig, just this morning, you worked out a whole new game.

Craig: Yes. I love a little Christmas quiz. It’s a brief one. We’ll do it in between Julia and Ashley Nicole, I think. Just a little trivia quiz. I believe we’re going to need three contestants.

John: We’re going to need three contestants. You are already contestants. You just don’t know it yet. If you have a book in your hands, open it to where we signed it. If you have a star on that page, you are a contestant. Raise your hand if you have one of the starred books.

Craig: There’s a starred book.

John: There’s one. We have one.

Craig: Oh, there’s two.

John: There’s two. First, Craig, let’s have a seat.

Craig: Great.

John: The Scriptnotes book is finally out in bookstores. As people are hearing this episode, they will have gotten their preorders. They’ll be able to buy it at their local bookstore. We often talk on the podcast about starting a new project, but we don’t often talk about finishing, and just being done with a thing, and saying goodbye to a thing, because the Scriptnotes book is now done, it’s out.

Craig: It’s out.

John: We’re finished.

Craig: Yes.

John: Talk to us about how you feel about finishing a project, finishing a movie, saying goodbye to something.

Craig: It’s always sad. I get sad. We throw the term postpartum around, which I think is a bit insulting to people that actually go through postpartum depression. That’s a very serious thing. There is a postscriptum depression. There’s a thing that happens when it’s over because it’s been in your mind for so long, and when it’s done, and I mean done done, not necessarily like, “Oh, we’re on our third revision,” or something, you do feel like you’ve sent your kid off, and now it belongs to everyone. You just have to let it go, and it’s not yours anymore.

John: Yes. With movies, once you go to a premiere and it’s like, “Oh, it’s so exciting.” You’re seeing all this stuff. You’re doing press. Then at a certain point, it’s just its opening weekend, and it’s there. It’s no longer your movie, it’s the world’s movie. Their reaction to it is what’s going to keep it going or not going. I’ve had a bit of this experience with the three Arlo Finch books because I had the launch of the first one, great, but there was always a second one, and then the third one, and eventually, like, “Oh, wow, I’m no longer the person writing Arlo Finch books.”

It’s a weird thing to be done with it. It’s nice that it’s actually physically a book, that it’s actually a thing that sits on a shelf. So often we talk about scripts we write, and they get pretty fantastic, but if they don’t, all that energy, all that effort is just trapped in 12 Point Courier.

Craig: Yes. In a way, I think psychologically, I prefer that. There’s a world where the best outcome is you write a script, you perfect it, and then you encase it in Lucite,-

[laughter]

Craig: -and it is never read by anyone.

John: No.

Craig: It will never be tainted by their dirty eyes.

[laughter]

Craig: I love that, but the postscriptum that I’m really fearing is when I eventually get to the end of The Last of Us because we’re talking about years and years at that point. Now it’s like, “Hey, that’s a chunk of your life, and that’s going to be interesting.” I will either be terribly, terribly sad or wonderfully, wonderfully happy.

[laughter]

Craig: I’m rooting for the second, almost certainly the first.

John: A question people ask, like, “Oh, do you go back and read your Arlo Finch books?” Like, “Oh, God, no, I’m not going to read that.” People ask, “Do you watch your movies?” The answer is I really don’t. Unless I’m doing a special event for something, I don’t go back and watch old movies. I can understand why people would think you would because, “Oh, aren’t you so proud of it?” It’s not like your kid is going out to college or something.

[laughter]

John: It’s just like, “No, it’s there. It’s for other people. It’s not for me anymore.”

Craig: I can now watch clips online that occasionally go viral for the weirdest reasons from Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4.

[laughter]

Craig: We’re talking about whatever, 20 years. A couple of decades go by. Yes, I’m watching it like anyone else now. It’s gone. I can do that. I’m going to have to wait about 20 years per thing, and then I feel, yes, I could look at that.

John: The Scriptnotes book isn’t quite cold yet. Because it’s so awkward for us to talk about a book, we thought we’d bring on somebody incredibly smart to ask us questions about that. Our first guest is a longtime co-host of Slate’s Culture Gabfest. She’s also a senior fellow at the USC Annenberg Center. She’s also plotting some new media thing we’re not supposed to talk about.

Craig: Yes. Apparently, she’s got a scheme.

John: She’s got a scheme.

Craig: -to launch some sort of new digital journalism thing. It’s going to be based here in LA.

John: There was a Vanity Fair article about it, though.

Craig: I think a squib.

John: A squib.

Craig: A squib in Vanity Fair. I’m curious. We asked her backstage what it was called, and she said, “Fuck you, I’m not telling you.”

John: Yes.

[laughter]

John: Which I think is a brave title.

Craig: Amazing title.

John: I think it’s really good.

[laughter]

John: I’m going to have dinner for that.

Craig: Very catchy.

John: Welcome back to the program, Julia Turner.

[applause]

Julia Turner: Hello.

Craig: Hello.

John: Julia Turner.

Julia: Hi.

John: Oh.

Julia: Hello, everyone.

John: Hi. Before we fully hand over the reins to you, people may remember you because you hosted a conversation with us for our 10th anniversary of the Scriptnotes Podcast, which is excerpted in the appendix of the book. This is very meta to have you back here to talk about us.

Julia: Very full circle. I’m going to ask you mostly about that appendix.

[laughter]

Julia: How’d I do? Can we just stipulate that I’m the official journalist of Scriptnotes, I’m your official interrogator?

Craig: I have no problem with that.

Julia: All right.

John: 100% endorsed.

Craig: Your competition is literally no one else.

[laughter]

Julia: It would have been really embarrassing if you said no-

Craig: Yes, it would have been rough. [laughs]

Julia: -you need to think about it. [laughs]

Craig: Yes. Oh. Yes, we’ll take that under management. All right, official journalist of Scriptnotes, lay it on us.

John: We cede our control to you.

Julia: Okay. Let’s see where I can take this. I have listened to your show for more than a decade. I have spent so many hours in both of your company, mostly nodding in agreement, marveling at your stage wisdom, deeply amused, occasionally shaking my fist at you.

Craig: That’s me, right?

[laughter]

Julia: Both of you.

Craig: Okay.

Julia: More you. We’ll get to the part that I shake-

Craig: Yay.

Julia: -my fist at later. I have also heard you say many, many, many times that script-writing books are a crock and no one should buy or read them.

Craig: Correct.

[laughter]

Craig: I am consistent with that.

Julia: How did we get here? [chuckles] What made you want to write this book?

John: Yes, let’s talk about that.

[laughter]

John: Craig, have we changed our opinion on books about how to be a screenwriter?

Craig: No. I have not changed my opinion at all because, as far as I can tell, the only book that exists about how to write screenplays or write for movies and television that is written by two people or a person that has repeatedly done that job for decades is this orange book. It is unique. I don’t know of any other book like that. Most of the books are by people that did it once, or never did it, or were more analysts. I don’t think of this as inconsistent with my belief that screenwriting books are a crock. I think this book is a refutation of other screenwriting [chuckles] books.

Julia: [laughs]

Craig: I hope that people do find it useful. That said, if they don’t, then we’ve just added one more pile of the crock.

Julia: [laughs]

John: Another thing I’ll say is that the subtitle in the book is A Book About Screenwriting and Things That Are Interesting to Screenwriters. It’s a book about screenwriting. It’s not a how-to-write-a-screenplay book. It’s about the craft and profession of screenwriting. It was a chance for us to share everything we talked about on the show, but also for the 25 interviews with other screenwriters in there talking about how they do their work. That, to me, felt like a valuable addition to the literature on screenwriting.

Julia: Yes. There’s a lot of expertise besides just the two of yours in there, but there’s a lot of the two of yours as well. I’m curious, when you first came up with the idea to do this book, were there particular moments from the show that you remembered that you thought, “That has to go in? I don’t care what else is in, but we’ve got to make sure this part is in there.”

John: Craig has a standalone episode called How to Write a Movie, which is such a pretentious title for an episode.

Julia: [chuckles]

Craig: Oh.

John: It’s him giving his lecture on what writing a movie is like to him. It’s so specific to his point of view that it became pretty clear that’s just a chapter in and of itself. Literally, it’s the text of that episode. Very lightly edited, it becomes that one chapter. To me, it was talking through pushing back against the idea of what structure is, and that structure is something you impose upon a story. The structure is really instead something natural that evolves out of story. The structure is characters doing things.

Those conversations we kept coming back to about specificity, about pitching, about notes, and trying to make sure that the book was full of the kinds of things we talked about on the episode, but most of the chapters are not the one episode we did about that topic.

Craig: Right. I think that as, honestly, John and our excellent team did the vast majority of curation here, there’s, I think, a really good job of gleaning out those very practical moments from the podcast over the years where we’re like, “Okay, here’s something just about transitions from scene to scene. Here’s what conflict, different kinds of–” those things are very useful to people, I think, particularly useful to people who are good enough to be screenwriters.

Ultimately, you’re writing a book for people that are interested in screenwriting and screenwriters from a objective point of view, or who want to be and will be. It hopefully would help them along, but I also love the choices of the interviews with the guests that we’ve had over the years because it’s quite a startling group of people when you look at it in the aggregate.

Julia: When you guys read the early drafts, I think you’ve spoken about this, Craig, that one of the joys of podcasting is you can just talk and talk and talk, and it’s not quite the same as writing something down. It doesn’t have quite the same weight. You can be more exploratory. You can be more conversational. Also, at least in my experience as a long-time podcaster, sometimes you just forget what you said. You’re talking into the ether.

Craig: I forgot what we said when we got out here.

Julia: [laughs]

Craig: Yes, you remember nothing.

Julia: Was there anything that surprised you when the corpus of your work was brought back to you with the help of your assistants? Were there any things that you had said or that each other had said that you were like, “What the hell? I don’t believe that at all.”?

Craig: No, I don’t think there was anything where I was like, “Oh, no, John,-

Julia: [chuckles]

Craig: -I never said this about the Holocaust.” It was nothing like that.

[laughter]

Craig: It was amazing to go through it and read it and think, “These guys sound pretty good.”

Julia: [laughs]

Craig: It’s impossible to remember those moments. There’s so many of them. We’ve done a game where Matthew reads us quotes of things we’ve said. I think we did it at Austin, and he’s like, “Which one said it?” We don’t know.

John: [chuckles]

Craig: It’s how many years?

John: Yes, about 15 years.

Craig: 15 years of talking.

John: One of the real decisions we had to make with the book was, clearly, it’s not going to just be the transcripts, but are John and Craig going to speak with individual voices in it, or is it going to be one collective voice? We tried it with some breaking into John says a thing and Craig says a thing. It just did not work at all. We had to go through and strip all that out and make it just one consistent us voice throughout it.

What was good about it is that even though Craig and I will disagree some on the show, mostly it’s a conversation, and mostly we’re rowing in the same direction. There’s a lot of times where it’s a paraphrase of something Craig said or I said, but it makes sense as one’s collective voice in the book. It was challenging to make it read right, but it wasn’t challenging to make all the opinions fit together the right way because,-

Craig: We tend to agree.

John: -yes, 90% of things about the process of writing, we agree on.

Julia: It is interesting because it does feel new. As someone who’s listened to all these episodes, it’s fun to encounter this synthesized voice. I’m curious. I’ve heard you say that before, that the back and forth didn’t work. What didn’t work? What was bad about it?

John: It was jarring to get halfway through a page, and then Craig says a thing, and then John says a thing, and then we’re back. Whose voice are we in when we’re back? It just felt really, really strange, and so it didn’t work. It was nice visually on the page to break stuff up, but it never worked quite right. We had to either do a lot of it or do none of it. We just took it all out.

Craig: It’s also transcript-y and we provide transcripts. In a way, you’d feel like you just are selling me the transcripts.

John: The only section in the book that’s still transcripts is the section with you at the end.

Craig: Oh, yes.

John: It’s the appendix.

Craig: And the index.

John: Then, when we did the interview chapters with our guests, we basically cut ourselves out of it, so it was just their words and did that light passage. It feels like it’s just them talking. Occasionally, you might see me or Craig pop in there to pull a point out, but it’s not really that feel.

Julia: Do you guys think that if you had read this book at the beginning of your careers, it would have changed how you approached anything, saved you from any mistakes or follies?

Craig: Absolutely.

Julia: Which ones? How so?

[laughter]

Craig: This is all I had when I started. Really, the answer is all of it because all I had was a line graph from Sid Field that was 30 pages, first act, 60 pages, second act, 30 pages, and then midpoint. What the fuck good is that? I remember sitting there. There’s 21-year-old Craig sitting there, wherever, on a park bench, making lines for these ideas I had. It’s useless. I didn’t have anything like, “Okay, let’s talk about dialogue, let’s talk about conflict, let’s talk about scene work, let’s talk about transitions, let’s talk about structure as a function of relationship, dramatic argument,” any of that. All of that just had to be instinctive and then learned. I do think it would have helped me dramatically.

John: Craig and I both came up as solo screenwriters, essentially. Craig had a writing partner for a while, but essentially, we were just doing all the work by ourselves. We weren’t in a TV writer’s room where we had other people to bounce ideas off of and see, “Oh, this person tried this thing, this didn’t work. How do we make this?” We didn’t have that back and forth to see how it feels to grow a story.

We just had these bad books to start with, and screenplays to read, but there weren’t as many available screenplays for us to read. It was harder to get up to speed. Hopefully, this gets people up to speed and makes people think, “Oh, okay. Now I get what it would be like to be a screenwriter.” Hopefully, a lot of them will say, “I don’t want to be one,” and then they can move on to something else.

Craig: Perfectly fine.

John: Absolutely fine. If it scares you away–

Craig: That’s actually an incredible outcome.

John: It’s a gift.

Craig: Saved you a lot of time and misery, and you can proceed forth to cure cancer, which is what you’re supposed to do.

John: [laughs]

Craig: If you are only interested as a student of film, then I just think it’s interesting without being practical.

Julia: Speaking of all the people who should not become screenwriters and go cure cancer, I’d be curious to hear you guys talk about the moment that we’re at in Hollywood right now. I feel like the vibe in this town,-

[laughter]

Julia: It’s a little like, “Are we Detroit?”

John: Yes.

[laughter]

Julia: Is this going to still happen?

Craig: Detroit’s doing better, I think, currently.

Julia: Detroit has a long and beautiful trajectory. I spent a lot of great time in Detroit, but I think you know what I mean.

Craig: Yes.

Julia: I’d be curious to hear you guys– I have this, too, in journalism. Sometimes young people come to me and say, “Oh, how do I become a journalist?” I wonder, is the only responsible answer to give them run for the hills?

I’d be curious to hear you guys both talk about how the industry feels to you right now as compared with your previous decades working, and what it means to publish a book that’s inviting people into this trade at a moment like this.

Craig: What an insinuation.

[laughter]

John: We were very mindful of the fact that this book, we want it to feel eternal. Even though it’s capturing this moment, it’s not really so specific about the US film and TV industry as it stands right now. That it should hopefully feel like if you’re writing scripted entertainment, if you’re writing narrative with characters who are doing things, this should still apply. A lot of these lessons would apply for theater and for other kinds of writing.

I do think that we’re probably at a transition point where this next generation that’s rising up is going to make a new, different thing that is as different from the existing film and television as what the ’70s were in terms of how they upended our film culture, just because the gatekeepers are not letting them make the things in their system, so they’re going to make stuff outside of their system.

That new generation will find a new way to do stuff. Hopefully, some of the stuff that we’re talking about here in terms of thinking about how characters are driving the story, thinking about how theme emerges from conflict, those should hopefully be universal ideas that will continue.

Craig: Goes back to the Greeks. So far, so good for that. Yes, Hollywood has its ups and downs, and it also has chaos, and it has always been hard to break in as a writer. If it is twice as hard now, you’ve gone from a 0.02 chance to a 0.01 chance, it doesn’t impact you. I guess this is the message that I would give to people is don’t be disheartened by the chaos of Hollywood. No one knows who will own Warner Brothers next year. No one. It’s madness out there. Also, continue to make an enormous amount of television, they continue to spend a lot of money on content, billions of dollars every year. The chaos of them is theirs.

We don’t run Hollywood. We don’t own it. Not my problem. My problem is to do the thing that people like us have been doing forever for audiences, which is to entertain them. That’s what we do. The people who run this business, whether they are hair on fire, falling down, selling to each other, falling apart, and yet the audience will still need to watch stuff and to experience things. I guess the answer is it doesn’t matter. As long as people want to continue to watch things, then the people who write them are fine. It’s the people sitting in the boardrooms that, “Hmm, that must be fun these days.”

Julia: I think one broader question out of that that I also would love to hear you guys on is, why should people be screenwriters? Why should people do this thing that people have been doing since the Greeks, and probably before?

Craig: Don’t think should is the right. The problem is you need to. People who end up doing what we do do it because they have to do it. It’s a compulsion. It can’t possibly be a choice. If you have to choose every time, you’re actually going to choose no every time in a row because it’s hard at all phases. I don’t know why people become stand-up comedians, but clearly they must be compelled to do it because it is brutal. Brutal. That’s the best answer I can give.

John: I’d say that there’s–

[laughter]

Craig: You’re trying to figure out why you do this?

John: I’m trying to think why I should try it.

Craig: Quit.

[laughter]

John: I’m allowed to stop?

Craig: [laughs]

John: I think there’s a compelling– Craig and I often talk about how we were the kids who just sat around in our rooms and just imagined things all the time. I get paid just to imagine stuff and write those words down. That happens. It’s exciting that that’s my job, just to imagine whole worlds of things. There’s always going to be folks who are skilled at writing, who are skilled at sitting down and creating something new that wasn’t there before.

What’s different about screenwriting is that you’re doing it as the first step in a plan that is going to involve hundreds of other people to make a thing. The mechanics behind that will probably change, and they have changed a lot over the years, but I think that’s still a very universal idea. I think if you’re a listener to the show or someone who’s reading the book who says, “Yes, I want to do that thing because I have that drive,” there’s still going to be a way to do that no matter what happens in this crazy structure we have.

Julia: I have a question for you about AI.

Craig: Sure.

Julia: This book does not encompass AI. Makes sense.

Craig: Written by AI.

[laughter]

John: It was not written by AI.

[laughter]

John: Wait. I was very mindful as we were finishing up this book, like, “Oh, shit, a year from now, could an AI take all of our transcripts and generate something that’s–”

Craig: A year from now? Oh, that shit’s happened already. That boat sailed, yes.

Julia: Yes. I was going to ask, actually, if you had AI alongside your assistants scrape the corpus and see what it thought was important.

Craig: No.

John: Really, the scraping of the transcripts happened three years ago. If it were happening now, of course, you would throw it all into Gemini or something and say, “When did John and Craig talk about this topic?” It could pull up all those references. Instead, it was Drew and Chris and our amazing interns just googling our transcripts to find out when we talk about those things.

Julia: You guys, I think of you both as being technophiles and tech curious, not being Luddites, not being avoidant. Also, I feel like I’ve observed you both, even Robot John, being repulsed by some of what AI is bringing us. I feel like in my own life, I’ve seen, I don’t know, two different paths. I feel like there are people in my life who are like, “I’m never going to try it. I’m not using it.” Then I feel like the people who start to play with it. “What feels right? What’s the right way to play with it? What’s the wrong way?”

I’m curious, if this book is the staple of screenwriting schools that you hope, I assume it will be, and you’ve got to re-release it in four or five years with a second edition, what would the chapter about AI say? Are you guys AI curious, AI loathsome?

John: I don’t think a second edition would ever have an AI chapter because it would be automatically out of date. There’s no way to keep up to that level.

Craig: That’s just an apology to our AI masters.

John: Absolutely.

[laughter]

John: Will an AI ingest this book? Absolutely. It already has ingested this book, I’m sure, because the e-book will be out there someplace. You’ll ask questions. It’ll have some of our answers in there mixed into it. That’s also just culture. It’s just everything does get recycled and repurposed and put back at you. It doesn’t happen at the speed that we’re used to with it now.

Craig: I just find it gross. I don’t turn away from AI because I’m a technophobe. I love technology. I just find it to be crap. I think it’s crap technology. I think it’s boring. When I look at what people will show me that AI has done, I find it boring and flat and dead. That’s not surprising because it’s entirely built on the bits and pieces we’ve put out there, or in the case of language, just language. Not the stuff that language emerges out of, just the language.

I think I’ve shied away from it because it’s like, “Okay, I’m a carpenter. I like working with my hands and building something that’s beautiful,” and own the road, there’s a factory that just goes stamp, stamp, stamp, smash, smash, IKEA table, and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with IKEA tables. God knows I’ve attempted to build so many of them.

[laughter]

Craig: My prior fear about AI, which is that it was just going to swamp our humanity and take over everything, new fear about AI is that it sucks, and our economy is about to take a huge dump because it has been built around the idea that it doesn’t, except I think it does. We’re going to find out, everyone.

[laughter]

Craig: Either way, we’re fucked.

John: Coming back to you,-

[laughter]

John: -the word we say way too often on the show is specificity, and specificity as in how is something unique to the writer’s own experience. That’s a thing that an AI just is never going to have. AI doesn’t have a point of view on anything because it doesn’t have any internal logic. It’s never in a space. It’s never in a body. It’s never that stuff. That’s why Craig and I were talking about doing a New York Times editorial and stuff, and we decided against it.

The thesis would have been screenwriting will survive AI, if anything. It survives AI because our job, weirdly, is to imagine a place, put ourselves in it, describe what we’re seeing, what it feels like, what’s actually driving, to be inside those characters, and that’s a uniquely human experience. Will there be AI-generated screenplays? Of course. Will there be good art made out of this? I don’t think so. I do feel some safety just because of the things that these systems are designed to do. I wanted to turn back a little bit towards you. Now, I do want to have a little discussion about cultural conversation and criticism.

Julia: Who will say in the future if the art is good? Segue man?

John: Absolutely. Oh my God, she stole the segue from me.

[laughter]

Craig: Dude, listen to the show.

John: Absolutely, as critics, on Slate Cultural Gapfest, which everyone should listen to. It’s phenomenal. By the way, Scriptnotes is completely ripped off from the Slate formula where they have–

Craig: We are?

John: Yes.

Craig: Oh, I gave you so much credit for this.

Julia: [laughs]

John: They have endorsements. We have One Cool Thing. The idea.

Craig: Oh my God. We stole it all?

John: Yes.

[laughter]

John: It’s really very similar.

Craig: The credits work the same.

John: The setup of what we’re going to talk about on the episode.

Craig: My innocence.

[laughter]

John: The fact that we have some structure and it’s all not just one rambling conversation, that comes from Slate.

Craig: Thank you, Slate.

Julia: Slate invented it. No one else had ever done it before.

John: Every week, though, you have three topics. You’re picking what things in culture you want to talk about. Is it harder now? In the age of this infinitely generated artificial stuff, has it changed?

Julia: I don’t think we are yet beset by actual AI content. The content, the art that we’re talking about, the movies, the television shows, is written by humans for humans. I feel like one of the things that is a perverse possible upside of the rise of AI is that it forces us to really think about and understand what it is to be human, and what the point [chuckles] of it is, and what’s amazing about it, and to seek out and value the best part of it.

That’s what I love about art. I feel like most art is grappling with the question on some level of what is it like to be human, and some aspect of that, and some subset of that. The opportunity to consume it every week and talk about it with smart critics and try to understand what it means, and whether it’s good, and if so, why, and if not, why not, it feels like a real privilege and really fun.

John: Craig, you classically are not such a fan of-

Craig: Criticism.

John: -criticism. Talk to me about when Julia says that they’re grappling with, is this good? Is it resonating? What does it mean?

Craig: It means they’re figuring out if they like it or not. Who cares?

John: Isn’t there some meaning in how this fits into the larger picture of the art form?

Craig: Yes, there is. What you said that made my heart sing was, in a world where there’s a bunch of AI crap, maybe it’s going to make us appreciate the fact that all these things that are made by humans, there are things about it that are good or striving for something. It’s essentially looking for the positive impulse. I think a lot of times people presume that the only impulse behind certain things would be make money. People are like, “Cash grab.”

Somebody, the writer, almost certainly was really trying, even when other people were like, “Hey, we’re offering you a job, and you got to pay your bills.” That person tried to do something good. I think following that is a wonderful thing. My issue with criticism really does come down to the notion that some people have a privileged opinion. Really, it just means if you like something or not. If you do, you do.

I like watching critics fight with each other because I’m like, “There. There it is. There. They don’t agree.” In short, what is the purpose of it? Now, the purpose may be to find people that if you articulate a point that I agree with, that’s fun. Especially if I don’t like something, it’s disturbingly fun to watch somebody else beat up someone you hate, but it certainly doesn’t help the artists, I know that much. It has created a culture where everyone is now Roger Ebert. Everyone is looking for that fun thing to put on Letterboxd, and usually it’s a dunk. I don’t think that’s good for us.

Julia: Okay, wait.

Craig: Sure.

Julia: I have been having this argument with you at home by myself for a decade, Craig.

[laughter]

Craig: Here’s your chance.

Julia: I have to say, I really value your opinion so much. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I used to take homeopathic medicine when I thought I was getting a cold, and I don’t anymore-

Craig: Yes.

Julia: -because of how laceratingly, how viscerally, how trouncingly you demolished the idiocy of homeopathy.

Craig: I am okay with criticism now.

[laughter]

Craig: Honestly, that’s a huge win for me.

Julia: Generally, I find you so persuasive and right. Then, on this, I find you so wrong. Obviously, I have a stake in it because I am a critic, or at least I play one on a podcast. I think the thing that strikes me about your take on it is that you seem much more focused on the verdict.

Craig: Yes.

Julia: The idea that the point of criticism is a verdict, good, bad, up, down. To me, the point of criticism and the value of it, both as a practitioner and as a reader and follower of criticism, is the dialogue, is the conversation, the interpretation, the search for meaning. I think criticism is important because art is important. It would be weird if there was Congress and no one covered it, or said what was happening, or said if it was good, or bad, or surprising, or new, or breaking a norm.

Craig: We have too much of that, I think, as well.

Julia: [chuckles]

Craig: I understand what you’re saying, and you’re right, I do focus on the verdict, but the reason I do that– First of all, there are critics who are smart and thoughtful, and you are one of them, whether I agree with you or not.

Julia: Have you ever listened to my podcast?

Craig: Not your podcast.

[laughter]

Julia: You just presume it because I seem like I’m going to be in conversations. That’s fine.

Craig: I’m a little bit of a transcript reader.

Julia: [laughs]

Craig: The listening takes too long. I can read so fast. There are critics that I respect in terms of their analysis and stuff because I think they’re really thoughtful, whether I agree with them or not. Walter Cha, for instance, has written things about movies I’ve done where I’m like, “That’s amazing,” and he loves it, and also, “That’s amazing,” and he hates it.” That’s an interesting thing.

The reason I focus on the verdict is because that’s what the rest of the world focuses on. I think critics can say to themselves, “Oh, it’s all about everything right up to thumbs up, thumbs down,” but no one else is really listening. They’re going for thumb up, thumb down, and then they’re combining that into a huge tomato.

[laughter]

Craig: That’s the only thing anyone looks at. That’s what’s happened.

Julia: You are judging criticism by the worst commercial output of it and not what the critic is doing, which is engaging with the work.

Craig: That’s how gun manufacturers talk a little bit.

[laughter]

Craig: No, I’m serious.

[laughter]

Julia: God damn it.

Craig: You can’t ignore how the product is used.

[laughter]

Julia: It’s interesting, though. We are living in a world with less and less criticism. Alan Sepinwall isn’t at Rolling Stone anymore. There will be fewer paid television critics reviewing season three than season two, and season two than season one.

Craig: I’ll miss Alan, whether he liked season one better than he liked season two.

Julia: He’s a great critic.

Craig: He’s a thoughtful guy. I read all of that because I was interested in his–

John: Wait, Craig, you read it?

Craig: Yes. There are a couple of people I read. I’m very specific about it. There isn’t less criticism. There’s less paid criticism. The critic industry almost orchestrated its own demise by propagating and popularizing the verdict. Now everyone’s a critic.

Julia: That’s just opinions. That’s not criticism.

Craig: Oh, well, tell that to all the people that are opinionating.

Julia: Don’t pay attention to them. I have no desire to be a screenwriter, thank God.

[laughter]

Julia: If I were making art in the way that you guys make art, the good critics would be important to me. I feel like not following them or reading them would be like making a phone call and having no one pick up on the other end of the line, which is not to devalue the experience of the audience, which is they’re moved by your thing, and they take the ride of your thing, and they have feelings about your thing. What the good critic does is assess why it moved you and how it did that.

Craig: Or why they hate it, and why it’s stupid, and why it shouldn’t have been made.

Julia: You’re just not reading the right critics. It’s so beautiful.

Craig: That’s not beautiful, I assure you.

[laughter]

Craig: The experience of reading, sometimes it is so personal, and so mean, and such an exercise, and, “Hey, let’s just be a dick.” It really is. I understand that you practice a different sort.

Julia: Or advocate for, at least. I wouldn’t put myself up with the truly great critics of our age.

Craig: Some of what we call the truly great critics of our age, I can do a nice tight 40 on why Pauline Kael’s most overrated voice in cinema history and should have never been listened to by anyone.

[laughter]

Julia: [unintelligible 00:35:51] 40 minutes of the show.

Craig: [crosstalk] That’s the tightest 40 minutes I could do.

[laughter]

John: My natural instinct is to be the peacemaker who makes everyone happy at the end, but I’m not going to do that now because I’ve learned in this book that conflict is good.

[laughter]

John: I thought we don’t have to.

[applause]

Craig: So good.

John: Yes, we don’t need to resolve this thing-

Craig: Damn, this is good.

John: -because this is an open, ongoing fight between love-

Craig: [unintelligible 00:36:14]

John: -and is a perfect time to segue to something that Craig likes much more than rallying on critics, which is a game.

Craig: A game.

John: Craig has a game.

Craig: I have a game.

[applause]

John: We have at least two people out there who have starred books. Raise the house lights if we can. Did the third person find their star?

Craig: Yes. Great.

John: We’ll have the three people with stars come up these stairs.

Craig: Come on up these stairs here or those stairs there-
John: Is there a stair there? Yes, any stairs.

Craig: -and join us on stage.

John: [unintelligible 00:36:39] over here. Drew has a stool.

Craig: Ah. [crosstalk]

John: Hello. What’s your name?

Kayla: I’m Kayla.

John: Hi, Kayla. Hi.

Kayla: Hi.

John: Kayla, take a step by the stool. Hi, Kayla. And?

Valeska: Valeska.

John: Valeska. Valeska, very nice to meet you and hi. Sita. Oh my gosh, we have an amazing– All right.

Craig: Right.

John: Craig, you guys are going to be gathered around this one stool.

Craig: Gather around the stool.

John: This stool.

Craig: You’re going to want to be close to that bell.

John: If you have the answer, you are going to hit that bell.

Craig: Let me ask you a question, guys. How are we with Christmas movies? Okay.

[laughter]

John: As a reminder to our audience, don’t shout out the answer if you know it. Craig will tell you the answer at the end.

Craig: Yes. If you guys don’t have it, we can open it up to the audience. It’s no big deal. I’m just going to read. There are five quotes from Christmas movies. Each quote is from a real Christmas movie. It is exact. They’re a little odd in their own way. They’ll go from not so odd to odder and odder. If you know the name of the movie that this quote is from, you hit the ding dong. All right? Do you want to practice?

[bell dings]

Craig: So gentle.

[laughter]
[bell dings]

Craig: Even gentler.

John: Yes, absolutely.

[laughter]

John: You can hit it hard. Don’t worry about it.

Craig: Yes. Find the inner winner, the person that wants to take the other two down.

[laughter]

Craig: First quote from a movie. “Though I’ve grown old, the bell still rings for me as it does for all who truly believe.”

[bell dings]

Kayla: Polar Express.

Craig: That is correct.

John: Nicely done.

Craig: Way to go.

[applause]

Craig: We won’t have an 0 for 5 situation. This is great.

John: They got it.

Craig: Here we go. Next one. “If this is their idea of Christmas, I got to be here for New Year’s.” We’ve got some people who know out there.

John: I’m going to give you a hint. This was the subject of a Deep Dive episode.

Participant: 500 episodes. [chuckles]

John: [chuckles] Absolutely.

Craig: Fair point.

John: It’s in the book as well.

Craig: I’m going to turn to the audience.

John: It’s in the book.

Craig: You want to guess one? Then I’m going to go to the audience.

[bell dings]

Valeska: Die Hard.

John: Yes.

Craig: Yes, Die Hard.

[applause]

John: One and one.

Craig: This one’s really weird. “Maybe I didn’t do such a wonderful thing after all.”

[bell dings]

Kayla: It’s a Wonderful Life.

Craig: No.

John: Ah, [unintelligible 00:38:52].

[laughter]

Craig: No.

[laughter]

Craig: No. It’s a hard one. “Maybe I didn’t do such a wonderful thing after all.”

[bell dings]

Valeska: The Grinch.

Craig: No.

Kayla: Nightmare Before Christmas.

Craig: No. Now we’re just saying titles.

John: Yes.

[laughter]

Craig: I’m going to turn it over to the audience.

Participant: Miracle on 34th.

Craig: That is correct. Miracle on 34th Street.

[applause]

John: We’re still tied one and one.

Craig: Yes. I love this one. Ready? “Come here, little one. Papa wants to see you.”

[laughter]
[bell dings]

Kayla: Elf.

Craig: Yes, it is Elf. Last one. Longest one. My favorite one. Many of you are going to know it. Don’t say it. “Next to me in the blackness lay my oiled blue steel beauty, the greatest Christmas gift I had ever received–“ I’m registering that. You can ring it, and I’ll finish it. Yes.

Valeska: Christmas Story.

Craig: It is Christmas Story.

John: Christmas Story.

Craig: “Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, pranging ducks on the wing and getting off spectacular hip shots. Hip shots-“

John: “Hip shots.”

Craig: -are the last two words of Christmas Story. Now–

John: We’re going to tie two and two, so we’re going to do a tiebreaker.

Craig: Okay. Well, the tiebreaker question is, what interesting fact unites all of these quotes? They all share one thing in common. It’s not that they’re in Christmas movies. Yes?

Audience Member: The writer’s Jewish?

[laughter]

Craig: It’s a good guess. It’s a callback, and I like that a lot. That’s a very good guess. I wasn’t going to do that two years in a row. That said, probably yes. No, I don’t believe the writers were all Jewish.

John: Did you have a guess?

Audience Member: Were they all men?

Craig: Oh, hey. Maybe, but that’s not what I was looking for. We’ll go past white, male, Jew. No, something about their connection to the movies themselves, the context within the movies themselves. They’re all doing something similar in their movie. Yes?

Audience Member: They’re all said by the protagonists?

Craig: No.

John: Oh, I think I know the answer.

Craig: Okay, don’t say it. I’m going to give you three one last chance. One last chance. Yes.

Audience Member: The last lines?

Craig: The last lines of the movies. Each one of those was the last line of their movie. You know what? Good job, you guys. I think they did great. John, tell them what they won.

[laughter]

John: All right. Often when you’re putting out a book, you are creating extra merch for the book. For the Scriptnotes book, we have Scriptnotes stickers, but the stickers were there on the table as you came in. I have done three books before this. I did Arlo Finch merch, which I still have sitting on a shelf. You guys get Arlo Finch merch. As the winner, you get to pick your pick of these three things. Tell me what you get.

Craig: I got to tell you, you can’t miss on these. Each one of them, life-changing. First, we have an Arlo Finch neckerchief. Yes. Everyone’s Christmas dream. An Arlo Finch towel. By the way, I wish people could see their faces. They are either crying with joy or deep disappointment. Finally, an Arlo Finch water bottle because you can never have too many big, dumb water bottles.

John: Which would you like?

Audience Member: I’ll do the water bottle.

Craig: Yes, there you go. Congrats.

Audience Member: I want the towel.

Craig: Hey, that’s good news. You got the neckerchief, the one you wanted. Thank you, guys. Thank you for playing. I was really surprised by the writers were all Jewish, and I don’t know why. I should have seen that coming. All weird last lines. Maybe I didn’t do such a wonderful thing after all as the last line of Miracle on 34th Street. It is the subject of debate to this day. You’ll see a lot of threads on Reddit. Why does he say this? What does this mean?

John: What does it mean?

Craig: I don’t know.

John: I thought they were all voiceovers. They’re not voiceovers?

Craig: No, they are not all voiceovers. Our next guest I’m so excited for, she’s a writer, comedian, performer whose credits include Ted Lasso, A Black Lady Sketch Show, Bad Monkey, and Shrinking. Welcome back to the program, Ashley Nicole Black.

[applause]

Craig: Hey. I hope you enjoyed watching Julia and I beat the fuck out of each other for about 10 minutes there.

Ashley Nicole Black: It literally took everything in me not to run out on stage and join the fight.

Julia: On which side?

John: Whose side did you fight on?

Ashley: Mostly Craig’s.

Craig: Oh, wow. All right. I’m so happy about that, but I would have been okay if you had gone– I mean, I like fighting.

John: Ashley, we’re in the Thanksgiving weekend. This episode will come out later on, but this is the Thanksgiving weekend, and often there are people gathering together, but there are discussions, debates around the dinner table. It can get a little bit heated. It’s not uncommon to have some heated words there.

Craig: Thanksgiving drama.

John: Did you have a good Thanksgiving, most crucially?

Ashley: I had a great Thanksgiving. I’m from here, so my whole family’s here. It’s really the best. I lived in Chicago and New York for a long time, then I would see my family once a year. It’s such a treat to be like, I can just see them whenever I want. Me and my uncle can get tacos. It’s pretty cool.

Craig: I love that you love your family, and you became a writer even though you–

Ashley: Well, my family is Black, and I do think that it’s a different thing. I think there is the stereotype of a writer as like, I was so sad and my parents didn’t talk to me. I just wrote in my room. I think Black people are just like, yes, I had cool shit to say. I wrote it down.

[laughter]

Ashley: Our problems are external for the most part.

John: Ashley’s book is going to be so much better than ours. It’s like, you have funny shit to say, write it down. It’s a simple book. She sold it.

Craig: I’m just terrified at how accurately you summed up my childhood with that mean voice.

Ashley: I work with a lot of writers.

Craig: You were tortured. Uh-huh. Well, all right. Congrats.
John: Ashley, you have your own chapter in the book. Thank you again for coming on the show. We are now a chapter in the book where we talk through your stuff. When you first came on the show, I remember dropping off with Mike at your apartment. Meeting your great dog, Gordy. Now you have a house. You’re a homeowner yourself. You’ve kept chugging along, series after series.

I’d love to talk to you about being that middle-of-your-career writer because so often we have the writers who are just starting out. You are consistently working on show after show. What is your life like? As you’re on a show, do you always know what the next thing is? What is it like?

Ashley: It’s so weird because when you’re young– and I was cute. I was so cute.

Craig: You were so cute?

Ashley: I was so cute.

Craig: You were cuter?

Ashley: You’re on set, and you’re a baby producer, and you’re like, oh, my God. This wallpaper, it’s not right. Oh, my God. The showrunner’s going to kill me. Do you mind changing it? They’re like, “Oh, you’re so cute. We’ll change it.” Then you get to a certain point, and you just have to be like, so this doesn’t work, and it does need to change.

I can’t blame it on anyone else because I’m a VP, and no one would believe that my boss was going to kill me at this point in my life. It’s just such a weird thing to be like, I have the answer to the question, and I am going to have to say it. People don’t like it when that happens to women, but I have to say it. It’s just such a weird position to be in.

Craig: The boss.

Ashley: But not, right?

Craig: Right. Sort of the boss.

Ashley: Yes. Sometimes you’re in meetings, and you’re like, oh, it should look like this. Then, “Oh, well, we’ll see what Bill says.” It’s like, I said it.

Craig: We don’t need Bill.

Ashley: I did it.

John: Since we’re coming out of Thanksgiving, we’ve been answering a lot of questions for the book, and we have a lot of leftovers. I thought that because we’re in leftoverville, you could help us answer some questions that came from our Reddit AMA and from other times where people were asking us questions online. Your answers are just better than ours.

Ashley: Do I answer as if I were a woman, correct?

John: No, we want your real answer here.

Craig: Wait, that’s an option? Kind of.

John: This is a question from Jeff A. When was there a time that has held you back from writing, from sitting in a script, going to a meeting? How did you get over or not get over that fear?

Ashley: Wait, say that again?

John: What was a time that a fear held you back? And what worked for you?

Ashley: I would say not a meeting or writing, but as an actor. A lot of times you come onto set. We were talking about Vince. The first scene that I shot on Bad Monkey, I literally had flown, arrived, put my things in a hotel room. Then we shot that scene at two o’clock in the morning, and it’s me and Vince.

You’re a very low-level actor who hasn’t slept in 48 hours, and you’ve never been on this set before. You’ve never met any of these people. The first thing you have to do is try to be funny next to Vince Vaughn. I would love to meet the sociopath who’s not fearful in that moment. I think the way you get past it is just to act as if it’s already happened.

A weird thing about being an actor is you can get fired at any time. It’s not like, oh, I got the job. I deserve to be here. No, you can get yanked literally at any point. It’s like, “Your manager’s on the phone.” Oh, did she want to congratulate me? “No.” You just have to go in and be like, we are in this scene together in this moment, so I’m going to act as if we are both top-level actors, and this is what’s supposed to happen.

I will say the great thing is that most of the really crazy high-level actors I’ve worked with will do the same thing. Just be like, “Yes, we’re supposed to be in this scene together. Let’s go.” You just do that until you get past that initial moment, and then do it.

John: That’s great advice for anybody going into a room to pitch, or you feel like you’re not supposed to be in this place. This is beyond where you’re supposed to be at. You just say, no, of course I’m supposed to be here. This is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.

Ashley: Yes, I am here.

John: You are here, so change the fucking wallpaper because I’m in charge.

Ashley: Wallpaper was the worst example. It was the hardest thing to change.

Craig: It really is hard. Yes.

Ashley: He’ll say curtains.

Craig: Easier.

John: Haley Huang had a question. What is your favorite genre to watch, and what is your favorite genre to write? I’m curious if they match up for you or not.

Ashley: No, my favorite genre to write is comedy, hands down. I really got into this to make people laugh. I’m really curious about how drama writers work because what is the point of a scene if not to get a laugh? I will say that I watch a lot of drama and crime, and I probably watch a lot more of that than comedy.

Craig: I think I’m probably the flip. I like writing drama because it means I don’t have to worry about the punchline, the button, any of that misery. Did it. Don’t want to do it anymore. Watching comedy to me is– that’s what’s fun.

John: I love watching comedy. We’ll do our third rewatch of 30 Rock, and it’s just so amazing, but I just could never do that. I just don’t have the stamina or the brain that creates that level of joke density. I just can’t do it.

Craig: Kind of why we enjoy it, right?

John: It feels like magic.

Craig: Probably is why all the Oscars should go to comedies.

Ashley: Also, by the way, no one does. In a room of 10 people who are creating that joke density, no one person does that.

John: Again, I feel like I should be able to do it. I feel like Tina Fey could do that. I’m, of course, comparing myself to a team of experts who spent years doing it. Noah L. asks, when you were first learning how to screenwrite– Screenwrite as a verb is just weird. No, don’t like it.

Craig: Do not like it.

John: Who were the writers you looked up to and whose voices really inspired you? Ashley, any screenwriters inspire you as you were coming up?

Ashley: Yes, Shonda Rhimes, for sure. I think Grey’s Anatomy came out when I was in college, and it was the first show that looked like the world that I lived in. When I was younger, Kevin Williamson, I loved Scream and Dawson’s Creek, and those just highly verbal, Aaron Sorkin, very writerly writers, and I still have the issue of overwriting to this day, thanks to my love of those writers.

John: Craig, did you have any screenwriters you looked up to?

Craig: I definitely remember seeing Ocean’s Eleven and saying, okay, I need to know who this Ted Griffin guy is. I remember seeing Out of Sight and thinking, I need to know who this Scott Frank guy is. I read the script for Jerry Maguire, and Cameron Crowe blew my mind, even more so than he had already blown my mind prior with Fast Times, and then also Sorkin. I think a lot of people giggle a little bit because he’s so prolific, and because there’s that super cut of him reusing dialogue and stuff, but it’s great dialogue.

Ashley: Our legs went all the way up to here.

Craig: Yes, exactly, but it’s great dialogue, and he’s written– that whole A Few Good Men thing, I just– Oh, my God. Yes, so good.

Ashley: I think it’s also– maybe because you said A Few Good Men, it’s very theatrical in the sense that as someone who started as an actor, I like it when characters are trying to get a response from the other one. It’s so weird to me in comedies where the actors don’t laugh at the jokes. In real life, like I’m in a room here with you, I would like to make you laugh, and you know that that’s my goal. It’s weird to pretend that characters aren’t trying to get something from each other.

I feel like Aaron Sorkin’s characters are always directly pursuing tactics in a way that–

Craig: The whole opening of Social Network, just watching that ping-pong. Apparently, I think it’s true that scene was, I don’t know, 14 pages long. Fincher was like, “Aaron, I can’t open a movie with 14 minutes of two people talking.” Sorkin was like, “No, it’s four minutes. You’re reading it too slow.”

[laughter]

Craig: Fincher was like, “Okay, record it for me at the pace you want it to be.” He did, and Fincher, apparently on the day, was with the script supervisor, like, “Are we on pace?” Then when you watch it back, the clip is insane. Oh, so good.

John: In answering this question, I would say there’s always movies I admired, and eventually at some point I realized, oh, people wrote those movies. I didn’t know that people had wrote those movies.

Craig: They screen wrote them.

[laughter]

John: Once you actually start reading screenplays, which are so much more available now. I remember reading Quentin Tarantino’s script for Natural Born Killers and going to the last page and like, holy shit, and going back to page one and re-reading it again. You realize like, oh, that’s what you can actually do on the page.

Reading James Cameron’s script for Aliens. It’s like, oh, that’s what a movie looks like when it’s in courier. It was just so revelatory. That thing, I think, is so much better now is that because of the internet, you can just read all the scripts, and you need to read the scripts and not just watch the movies. Let’s do one more little side dish of a question here. What do you got, Craig?

Craig: This is a multi-parter from Clara A. “I’m an extremely long-time listener who, by happenstance, has found herself in a weekly writing group with local sweetie Megana Rao for the past couple of years.”

John: Megana’s the best.

Craig: “My question, what is your favorite thing about Megana?”

John: She’s not even here to defend herself. She’d be so embarrassed.

Craig: “Alternatively, Craig, do you still love millennials?” I don’t remember professing that.

John: Yes, I think you’ve said it on certain transcripts.

Craig: I do. Well, let’s talk about it. I’ll do another question because I don’t know if you have a favorite thing about Megana. That seems unfair.

Ashley: I feel like she’s got great hair.

Craig: She does have great hair.

John: Great. Absolutely true. Yes, we’re incredibly thankful for Megana, but it’s a very specific–

Craig: Yes, the kindest and most positive person around. Just such a great person. Yes, I still love millennials. I like zillennials. I think that’s my groove. There you go.

John: We got a few of those.

Craig: If you’re 28, 29, 30, 31, that’s a good crew. Nitzen has a good question.

John: Nitzen has a good question. Do you want to try Nitzen’s?

Craig: Yes, sure.

John: Nitzen asks, “As a beginner, is a credit for a bad movie better than no credit at all? What if that movie involves problematic people? Ashley, what’s your opinion on this? Julia, I’m going to open this to you as well. Do you think it’s better to have no credits or a bad credit?”

Ashley: I’m curious what you guys will say. I really don’t know. I think I would lean towards it’s better to have a bad credit because the people who care about credits are the other people who work in the industry, and people who work in the industry know that the way the movie turned out is not the writer’s fault, particularly when it’s an early career writer.
I think having had the credit and the experience is a good thing. No one’s looking at that going, “Oh, he must be a terrible writer because the movie turned out bad.”

John: Absolutely correct. Julia, do you think about credits? As you’re talking about something on, say, [unintelligible 00:56:32] are you always mindful of the things they’ve written around it or are you just looking at that one piece of work, generally?

Julia: Well, a professional critic with some expertise would look at what the person has made in the past and think about how this fits into the history of their career and the genre and the actors. There’s different levels of comprehensiveness in that. Yes, I don’t think you would look at an early credit and be like, and thus everything they make from there on must also be bad. You take the work on its own terms, but I think the rest of the surrounding history is context.

Craig: What about this idea, what if the movie involves problematic people? That doesn’t seem like something that I would– It feels like writers really don’t get– We get blamed for things in reviews that weren’t our fault all the time. Of course. These actors did the best they could with a bad script. I’m like, oh my God. No, they didn’t.

It doesn’t feel instinctively like when you see movies that come out and there’s hints of some problematic people involved, does it taint the whole thing or–

Julia: We’re going to do art from the artist, the whole thing, right now?

Craig: Sure.

Julia: Yes, I don’t know. Yes, I think problematic is a word that can do a lot and go a lot of directions there for this question, but yes, I think you take the work as the work.

Craig: The work as the work.

Julia: I think also people know that writers don’t get to choose who’s in the movie. It’s really interesting because we do get blamed for things that we didn’t do or don’t have any control over, and then we also don’t get credit for the things that we do.

Craig: Unerringly.

Julia: The number of people asking a director, when did you guys decide when the character would do this in this episode? It’s like, he wasn’t hired yet. What are you talking about? We never met that guy when we made that choice.

Craig: There’s a whole booklet that tells him what to do. It is amazing.

John: He followed the instructions well.

Craig: Yes.

John: All right. Those are some questions that were leftovers. Thank you so much for helping us out with the leftovers. It is time for our one cool thing. All right. Julia Turner, do you have one cool thing to share with us? I will say this is completely stolen from the Slate Culture Gabfest because they do their endorsements.

Julia: I do and I’m going to say it on this show instead of on my show. Okay. I hosted Thanksgiving this week. I had some beloved family over. We made some pies. They brought some cakes because there were also some Thanksgiving week birthdays. One of the cakes they brought was the Tom Cruise coconut cake.

Craig: How does everyone know what this is?

Julia You don’t know about the cake? Has anybody here eaten?

Ashley: I’ve tasted it.

John: I remember hearing about this, but I don’t know what–

Craig: I feel so alone right now.

Julia: My knowledge of this comes from Matt Belloni, who to your point about specificity, he has such a good eye for the detail that makes you feel like he was inside a room that you weren’t. Although he’s very clear that he also is not on the list of people to whom Tom Cruise sends a particular white chocolate coconut bundt cake for Christmas every year. Has anybody in this room actually from Tom Cruise received this cake?

Craig: Yes, there’s not going to be a big chance of that.

John: For [unintelligible 00:59:53] it’s just in case.

Julia: I’ve gone down to Rabbit Hole. They send it to the whole staff of–

Craig: I think they’re still raising more lights like I know there’s one person. No, weirdly none of us got the–

Ashley: Tom Cruise repels in.

Julia: I’d heard about this. I never tried the cake. It’s from a bakery called Dones in Woodland Hills. Apparently, legend has it– This anecdote does not meet my journalistic standards of rigor. It comes from a light Google. According to a light Google, apparently, at one point, Katie Holmes and Diane Keaton proposed a contest where they would each present Tom Cruise with a cake, and then he would pick which one he liked better.
Diane Keaton brought him this cake from Dones in Woodland Hills, and he chose Diane Keaton’s cake. Now he sends it to everybody for Christmas, and you can get it on Goldbelly. Ashley Nicole, you’ve had it. What do you think of it?

Ashley: It’s really good. It was so good. Everybody says it is, and you’re like, oh, yes, well, you got a cake from Tom Cruise. No, it actually is really good.

Julia: Also, white chocolate is a big no-no for me. You tell me white chocolate is in something, and I’m like, forget it, I’m not a bunch.

Craig: You liked it.

Julia: This cake is delicious.

Craig: Wait. It’s not called Tom Cruise Coconut Cake, I assume.

Julia: It is called White Chocolate Coconut Bundt Cake, and you can either go get it at Dones in Woodland Hills, or you can order it on Goldbelly. It’s excellent. We were talking about things with problematic auspices, but I just can’t lie, this cake was excellent.

John: D&D next week, we’re having the– yes, absolutely.

Craig: Yes, I got to get on this right away.

John: I’m a big believer in, you’re making a feast, you’re cooking all the entrees, the sides, buy dessert. Desserts are delicious.

Craig: Oh, yes. No one’s upset with you when you show up with dessert.

John: You’re not going to be able to top that pie.

Craig: Melissa just texted me. Thank you, Melissa. We have gotten one of those cakes.

Julia: Oh, from Tom Cruise?

Melissa: I don’t know if it was from Tom, but it was from Dones.

John: All right. We have live updates. Craig’s wife, Melissa, is here. She reports that that cake was actually eaten in the Mason household.

Craig: Did I like it?

Melissa: It was delicious.

Craig: Of course it was. Well, that’s a little insight into how my life goes. I’m like, “I’m alone.” And I’m the only one here that ate it.

John: Yes. Ashley Nicole Black, do you have a one cool thing to share with us?

Ashley: Yes. I may have shared this on the pod before, but I’m on a board of a charity called Letters to Santa. It is Christmas time. Every year, we raise a bunch of money and we buy kids their Christmas presents, but we also give grants of substantial amounts of money to their families. We also did letters to Altadena after the fires. Our idea is that the solution to poverty is money, so we just give people money.

Craig: That’s interesting.

John: We’re going to send some money to the charity. Yes.

Ashley: You can go to letterscharity.org and just donate money if you want to do that. Then closer to Christmas time, I will be posting wishlists of the kids. There’s nothing more pleasurable than having a glass of wine and buying a kid you’ve never met a bike. It’s the absolute best. Follow me, I’ll be posting those wish lists, and you can buy kids their presents if you want.

Craig: You’re a good person.

John: That’s a good person.

Ashley: It’s the one thing.

Craig: It’s a big thing though.

Ashley: Then I’m just walking through the streets, sticking out my foot, and tripping people.

John: Ashley and Nicole Black, we should all follow you on Instagram, which is where I follow you, and because we both follow the same person on Instagram, I can see when you’ve liked a post. We need to talk about Simon Sits.

Ashley: Oh, my gosh.

John: We’re both going to start crying now.

Ashley: I cry every morning now.

John: This is a woman who basically fosters dogs and has the most charming stories, but then she adopts them away. You’re like, but what’s going to happen?

Ashley: Oh, no. Then I follow those dogs. I now follow those dogs in all their new homes. Everybody’s doing great.

John: Everyone’s doing great. Simon himself has a disorder, but it’s hopefully going to be okay. Craig, what do you have for a wonderful thing?

Craig: I’m going to go with a little nerdery.

John: I love it.

Craig: This fall/winter, as I often do, I am working with some friends to solve Puzzle Boat, I think it’s Puzzle Boat 12, which is put out through Panda Magazine. If you love very hard puzzles, go subscribe. One of the puzzles referenced something called Day of the Tentacle. There we go, dork. Okay. You’re my kind of nerd. I actually was not familiar with it because when I was growing up, I didn’t have a PC. I just had Macs. There were a world of games that were just PC only, the pixely games that I missed out on. One of them was called Day of the Tentacle. It was published by Lucas Arts, sort of by the same team that was famous for Monkey Island and so forth.

Well, turns out you can play Day of the Tentacle now on everything, including your iPad. Writers Tim Schafer, Dave Grossman, Ron Gilbert, Gary Winick. It is adorable. It’s a lovely concept that involves you three different friends who are sent into three different time periods, who can send stuff back and forth to each other through their little time thing. It’s dork funny, nerd funny, which I love. It actually looks really good. I think they updated the graphics for the iOS version. If you’re looking for something, I don’t know, probably costs like $6 or something like that, and you like that kind of point and click classic ’90s adventure, check out Day of the Tentacle.

[applause]

John: My one cool thing is actually the very back page of the Scriptnotes book that you all have in your hands right now, which is the thank you page. So often you read through a book and there’s the thank yous at the end and you’re like, I don’t know who these people are. I don’t know what they did. We try to be very specific about who these people were and the work they did that made the Scriptnotes book possible.

That, of course, starts with our incredible producers over the years who not only made the show happen, but also got our transcripts together, which without the transcripts there was never going to be a book. The whole team at Crown was fantastic from buying the book in the first place, but getting it through all the stages of production and getting it into your hands.
Jody Reimer, who sold the book for us, is incredible. We had just amazing people the whole time through. Including our audience the whole time through. If we didn’t have people who were writing in every week and providing questions for us to answer, letting us know that it was actually worthwhile for us to be doing this for 15 years, there wouldn’t be a book either. That’s why I think the final thank you is really to our whole audience for making Scriptnotes possible.

Craig: Without you, we’re nothing.

John: Thank you very much.

Craig: Thank you.

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt. Drew Marquardt, thank you very much. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli, who also did our intro or our outro this week. Thank you to Raven up in the booth, Mary, Dax, Brenna, Dan, and everyone at Dynasty Typewriter. Thank you, Pamela Christlieb, Patty Lombard, and everyone at Chevalier’s Books, our official bookseller for this event.

Chevalier’s Books is on Larchmont, and we signed some extra books. If you’re listening to this podcast at home and you’re like, man, I wish I had a signed book, they have some there at the large font location of Chevalier’s Books. Thank you to Matt Inman, Mary Motes, everyone at Crown Publishing for making tonight possible. Thank you to Julia Turner and Ashley Nicole Black.

[applause]

John: Who out here is a Scriptnotes premium subscriber? Any premium subscribers? A little over a hand. Thank you so very much. You can sign up to become one at scriptnotes.net. Thank you all very much for coming out this afternoon for our live show. Thank you.

Craig: Thanks, folks. Have a great Sunday.

[Bonus Segment]

John: We have an audience full of people who may have some questions here. We’re going to bring down a little microphone or raise some house lights, and I’ll answer a couple questions from our listeners now. If you want to ask a question, let’s have you line up in this isle here.

Ashley: These people got up fast. These questions are burning.

John: Hello. Can you tell us your name and what your question is?

Jonathan: Hi, my name is Jonathan. My question is, if you’re working on a script that overall is serious in tone, say like a grounded action thriller, but you have an opportunity to inject some humor into a scene, how do you use your internal barometer to know when you’re keeping it engaging and realistic versus when it’s overall messing up the tone of the overall project?

John: It’s a great time to also bring up the observation that we don’t make comedies anymore, but all the movies are funny. Everything has to be funny, but we just don’t actually make comedies anymore. The Marvel movies are full of comedy, but they’re not supposed to be comedies. Craig, what’s your instinct when you have, there’s an opportunity for a comedy moment, but it’s not the overall nature of the–

Craig: Ideally, if it’s the sort of thing that someone’s going to say something that’s funny, you want that person, that actual character to be witty enough or naive enough or proud enough or whatever their specific characteristic is to actually say that thing. The worst situation is what I just call quipping, where people are just constantly quipping at each other, and nobody believes that.

Things that emerge naturally that make you laugh, that’s a good sign. If you’re manufacturing it and there’s some sweat coming down your head because you’re trying to figure out how to engineer the plumbing, probably not a good situation.

John: Our next question.

Santiago: Thank you. My name is Santiago. I teach filmmaking to high school students. Going back to what you guys were saying about AI, I’m sorry, everyone. I guess part of my job is to introduce these students as they’re learning how, from script writing all the way to editing and the full production, how to involve technology and everything in their work and I just wanted to know if you had any thoughts on that because as it changes, it’s definitely something I’ve been thinking about.

John: Santiago, thank you for the question. Thank you for teaching. Teaching is great. You obviously have students who want to learn about film and filmmaking, and the technologies will keep changing. I think there’s that uncomfortable line between where you’re using the tool that helps you do the thing, like an online editing software, that’s not cheating.
If it’s generating scenes or cutting scenes for you, that feels like, oh, are you really learning how something works? That’s the uncomfortable thing.

Craig: You know how we had to learn how to add and multiply, then they gave us calculators? If you just start with the calculator, you are missing some fundamental education. Maybe, considering I’m sure that Santiago, your students are very interested in using these things, to use them in a way where you can talk about after they used it, what pleased them? How did this thing deliver what they hoped it would, and how did it fail to deliver what they hoped it would?

What could they do that would, in their hearts, be better than what this thing did, so that you can put it in some context?

Ashley: I would say no. I taught for a long time before I started doing this. For me, one of the jobs as a teacher is to create space to be uncomfortable because learning is so uncomfortable. Writing a bad script is so uncomfortable. Wanting to do good acting and then watching the tape back and finding out you’re trash is so uncomfortable, but that’s part of the learning process.

You can’t become a better writer until you’ve written a lot of bad scripts and you’ve sat in the discomfort of the distance between the movie you see in your mind and the movie you’re currently able to create. If the idea of AI is that it’s going to close that distance, then where is the learning if you’re not sitting in that space?

[applause]

Ashley: The feeling of like, oh, I can perfectly picture this moment in my mind. I have to figure out how to write it properly, I have to figure out how to describe it to all the department heads properly, I have to figure out how to make it work on the bodies of the actors who are their own individual people. Gosh, I wish I could just push a button and get the scene out of my brain.

That’s the work. The work is all of that communication. I would err on the side of–

John: What Ashley said is exactly right. Hopefully, you’re teaching your students how to write a scene, which is what she’s describing, and not a prompt. It is so hard, it’s uncomfortable when you’re having conversations, but the things that we’re talking about in the book and in this podcast are about, well, who is in it? What is the conflict? What are they trying to do? Those things are not AI-able things.

Those things are great discussions to have and then figure out what tools you need to actually use to generate anything out of that. The scene is still the crux of everything.

Ashley: There’s also the discoveries of the process. We’re shooting a scene, and two of the actors went to walk out the door at the same time and bumped into each other. It was so funny. Then it just informed the annoyance these characters have with each other. It’s like a moment that you discover that changes the scene because you’re doing the process of doing it.

John: A question.

Katie: Hi. My name is Katie and because things have been too peaceful, I have a question about critique and film criticism. I wanted to know your thoughts on the difference or the line between criticism and analysis. If film criticism brings out, maybe evokes more personal feelings than other genres like books or just anything else that involves empathy and projecting yourself onto the script.

I was wondering if there were any parameters that could help maybe delineate where those lines between analysis and critique comes into play, just like journalism and yellow journalism. Is there a way that we could delineate between opinion and critique or analysis?

John: Great. Thank you, Katie. Some of what you’re asking there is my instinct was, oh, I need to try to make peace and sort this all out and define, oh, no, you really have more overlap and agreement between things. I’m going to see if I can do a little of this. Analysis, someone who’s taking, oh, let’s look at the films of the ‘90s and what the patterns are that emerged from that.

Who were the filmmakers and where things go to versus a thumbs up or thumbs down on this movie. Craig, I think you feel– is that analysis worthwhile potentially?

Craig: Certainly. I’m curious to hear what you think about this because in my mind, under your question, I wonder if there’s this sub-question of how do we delineate what you guys do, which is what I would call thoughtful, qualified analysis/critique versus other people who just saw a movie, hated it [onomatopoeia].

Julia: The sound effects are very crucial, I think, there. I think all good criticism is analysis, contains analysis and interpretation and judgment. To be making art today and have the possibility that Wesley Morris at the New York Times might look at it and think about it, he is such an extraordinary critic and you should listen to his new podcast, Cannonball, which is excellent.

It seems much more fun to make art with that potential wise, deep, empathetic, generous, knowledgeable, interpretive audience in mind. To me, all good criticism contains analysis and soul. I think maybe Craig’s just reading the wrong stuff. I think thumbs up-thumbs down, here we are in the Coliseum, everybody go kill that guy, that’s not criticism to me.

Craig: Literally, the most famous film critics did that. Literally.

Julia: Okay, but when we go see– Yes, that was the schtick for their show to get an audience, but if you go back and read all of Ebert’s old reviews, we can argue about Pauline Kael later, I’m not a particular Kael stan, but when we go see stuff at the Arrow or the New Beverly, to go back and read the contemporary reviews, often from Ebert himself because he wrote about everything, it’s so fun.

It’s fun because sometimes he’s really brilliant and smart. Sometimes he doesn’t seem to have gotten it and it isn’t that useful. Nobody bats 1,000 and you get a sense of how it landed at the moment. It’s also a record of how the stuff was received. That criticism of the past is valuable to me and so is the criticism of today.

John: Thank you for your question.

Ashley: Thank you.

John: I’ll take one last question here. What is your question?
O’Neill: Hi, my name’s O’Neill. I have ADHD, not the fun kind, but the kind that’s very debilitating. My mind moves a million miles per second, but I write very slowly. I’m about a page a day-er. My question for you is how should I manage all of these thoughts when my physical typing limitations are so slow?

Craig: Okay, we have something for you and it’s called learning how to type. Now, that in and of itself may be an arduous task, particularly if you have a debility or a neurological disorder, but learning how to type will speed you up dramatically because I also think fast and I type fast. I think if I could not type, it would be a real problem for me.

I feel the pain. Learning how to type is worth it. There are a gazillion ways to do it online. It will be uncomfortable. The learning will be uncomfortable.

Ashley: Oh, no. You get a Mavis Beacon who says she taught me good.

Craig: By the way, you know that she doesn’t exist, right?

Ashley: I know. They don’t teach kids to type anymore.

Craig: No. There is no Mavis Beacon. They invented Mavis Beacon.

Ashley: Oh, I know.

Craig: I didn’t know that. I believed in Mavis Beacon forever and then he told me and I was like, oh my God, and what else are you going to take away from me?

Ashley: Will you guys make the Mavis Beacon movie?

Craig: There’s no Mavis Beacon.

Ashley: There’s a documentary.

John: Crucial IP that’s being underserved.

Craig: See, by the way, whatever works for you, it will be annoying and frustrating. Give yourself because it’s magic. When it finally starts happening, you can’t believe it. It’s magic and it will make a huge difference for you.

John: I fully endorse the typing of it all. We did a Reddit AMA yesterday and we were answering a ton of questions. Craig was typing as fast as he could, but I could answer faster because I was dictating. The dictation software has gotten really good right now. It’s worth trying it. Again, it’s uncomfortable at the start because you feel like I’m talking to myself and Drew’s hearing me talk to my computer a lot.

For things like emails and stuff like that, it’s much faster. I can’t use it for real screenwriting, but for getting all that shit out of your head and onto a screen, it’s really good. It’s good for generating material, but also just silencing some of that noise could also be really helpful for you.

Craig: Which do you use?

John: The one I’m using right now is called Aqua Notes. It’s Aqua Voice.

Craig: They’re listening to our voice. They know.

John: I’ve been trying to Google it myself.

Ashley: That’s a level of fandom that is frankly a little scary.

Craig: Also dissapointing like Aqua.

John: I think it’s worth– in addition to typing, because I think typing is really important software to help just get stuff out of your head. It’s going to be really helpful as well.

Ashley: I would say also, do you outline? For me, because I have ADHD also, I do so much writing before I start writing. All that stuff that’s in my head, I just write it all down in a Notes app, anywhere, just to get it out of my head and then outline. Then it’s like you’re just getting more and more specific up to the point of actually writing the script.

Then I think also it’s working with your brain the way it works. Sometimes I write the punchline before the setup. I was in a writer’s room once where I was up on the screen. They were like, “Did you just write the punchline first?” I was like, yes, that’s how my brain works, so I have to get it out in time.

I think instead of feeling like you have to start at the beginning of the first scene and work your way through the script, write what you know, write the punchline, write the last line of the scene if that’s what you have, and feel free to go back and fill in.

John: Thank you so much.

Craig: Thank you.

John: Thank you for the great questions.

Links:

  • Get your copy of the Scriptnotes book!
  • Julia Turner
  • Ashley Nicole Black on Instagram
  • Arlo Finch series
  • Slate Culture Gabfest
  • Episode 516 – 10 Year Anniversary
  • Dynasty Typewriter
  • Bad Monkey
  • The Tom Cruise coconut cake from Doan’s Bakery
  • Letters to Santa
  • @simonsits on Instagram
  • Day of the Tentacle
  • Chevalier’s Books
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Become a Scriptnotes Premium member, or gift a subscription (now with fewer emails!)
  • Subscribe to Scriptnotes on YouTube
  • Scriptnotes on Instagram
  • John August on Bluesky and Instagram
  • Outro by Mathew Chilelli (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 714: Three Page Challenge Live in Austin 2025, Transcript

December 10, 2025 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Craig, today’s episode is a flashback to when we were at the Austin Film Festival this year in 2025. We did another Three Page Challenge. This was at the church in Austin. It was a great crowd and we had just a really great time doing it. We love doing a Three Page Challenge where we can have those participants come up on stage with us and talk through what they were doing.

Craig: Yes, it was great. They did a great job. Anybody who agrees to do this is very brave. Anybody who agrees to do this live in front of a lot of people under the watchful eyes of Jesus is particularly brave. Thumbs up to these three. They were very courageous and I hope that we help them as we try.

John: As always, if you want to read along with these samples, you can pause this and we’ll have links in the show notes to the PDF. You can read those PDFs before we get into it. Before you do that, Craig, today, the day this episode drops, the Scriptnotes book is out in the world in physical form, in hardcover.

Craig: Oh my God, this is it.

John: It is. Apparently, Australia is not till January 4th, but the rest of the world gets it today. The audiobook, we had Graham Rowat on recently to talk through, narrate an audiobook. Please, if you have the book and it comes to you, post on Instagram, post on TikTok, tag Scriptnotes Podcast and we will repost you. We will hype you up. I will hype you up. If you do so, we can also send you the bonus chapter that we sent to all the pre-orders. If you haven’t gotten that yet, Drew can send that to you, because I’m just so excited that the book is finally out there in the world.

Craig: Yes. I got to say, if you waited, I get it. Now you got to actually start thinking about Christmas gifts for your stupid friends. This is a great Christmas gift for your stupid friends.

John: 100%.

Craig: You should go to a party and everyone should give each other this big orange book. It just smells like Christmas. I love it.

John: Also, if you have parents who can never figure out what to get you, just get yourself the Scriptnotes book and bill them. It’s $33.

Craig: Exactly. They’ll be thrilled that it’s under $5,000. They’ll be so happy.

John: Exactly. Absolutely. With all the tuition you’ve saved them, it makes it absolutely completely worthwhile.

Craig: Bingo.

John: Enjoy this trip back to the Austin Film Festival and our live Three Page Challenge. For our premium listeners, stick around because we will have some bonus questions from that session where we answered questions from the audience that were actually really good. We had good questions overall at Austin. Enjoy.

[music]

John: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: This is a Three Page Challenge for Scriptnotes. For folks who are not aware, every once in a while, we ask our listeners if they would like to send in the first three pages of their screenplay, of their pilot, and we will talk about it on the air. It’s a very brave thing for people to do because we’re honest with our criticism. We’re not harsh, but we’re very honest.

Craig: I’m a little harsh.

John: You’re a little harsh. Drew, who’s our producer, diligently reads through all the entries and picks ones that he thinks will be good to talk about on the air. Sometimes they’re the best, but sometimes they’re the things with the most interesting stuff to talk about.

That’s really an example of what we have here today because we asked, specifically, people who were going to be coming to AFF if we could look at the first three pages of their script. A bunch of people sent through their samples, which is really nice. What’s great about doing it here at Austin is that we can then bring the person up and actually talk to them about the script they wrote.

Craig: Which forces us to be even more concerned about being harsh, and yet, I will do it.

John: We’ll try to be honest. You can find these samples, PDFs, at johnaugust.com. It’s the first blog post you’re going to see there. You can open these up, and so you can read along with us as we’re looking at these samples. Some of what we’re talking about is literally how it’s laid out on the page, so some stuff is– We’re going to be talking story and character and everything else, but it’s also what it looks like, what it feels like. Craig, talk to me about the Three Page Challenge, because the idea of three pages came from stuff you were doing.

Craig: Yes. There was a theory that I had, that you could probably tell if a script was going to be theoretically good or absolutely never good from reading three pages. The truth is, you learn a lot in three pages. There are fundamental things that we see people do well, and there are fundamental things that we see people not doing well.

If the three pages aren’t working in and of themselves, it doesn’t mean that it’s not fixable. Everything’s fixable, and we’re all working and constantly revising and doing things and getting better. This focus that we put on these is the way it works in the business. This is a good colonoscopy.

John: The first three pages are really the first impression. As we’ve had guests on the show who are showrunners who are looking to staff a room or producers or agents or managers, we talk to them about, “You get a script, how far are you reading into it?” Some will say, “Oh, the first 10 pages,” but a lot of people will say the first three or four pages. You get a sense of, does this person have a voice that’s interesting and I want to keep following? They’re looking for an excuse to set the script down. If those first three pages give them that excuse, they might set the script down.

Craig: They’ll take it.

John: They’ll take it.

Craig: It’s been really interesting over the years to see how some of these do grab you. It’s like there’s this thing that happens where your eyeballs– Sometimes words are sticky. Your eyeballs stick on them and it’s good. Then sometimes the pages are slippery and your eyes just– Part of the question is, why do these things happen?

John: I’m also contractually obligated to tell you that we’ve been doing the show for 14 years. We’ve come to the Austin Film Festival for 11 years. It’s the first year we’re here to hype up our book. We have a book coming out December 2nd.

The Scriptnotes book is basically a collection, a compendium of everything we’ve talked about over the course of 11 years about screenwriting, intercut with chapters from many of the amazing guests we’ve had on the show. Show of hands, who in this room has already pre-ordered the book? That’s a good number. Thank you very much for that.

Craig: Thank you, guys.

John: Last night at the live show, I was strongly urging people to pre-order the book. Craig, do you remember the reasons why people need to pre-order the book rather than just getting it on December 2nd?

Craig: As I recall, what you said is that pre-orders are how bookstores know whether or not they should stock the book, whether libraries know whether they should have the book available for lending, and also in theory, it’s how bestseller lists are put together. You aim much higher than I do.

John: The reality is that bestseller lists are based on first week sales, but all the pre-orders are counted as the first week sales. If we can get a big number for that, it’s fantastic. Our publisher at Crown sent an email saying, “A month out, it’s looking good.” As we all know, good is–

Craig: Yes. As the people who wrote these will find out, good is not great.

John: No, good is not great. If you’re enjoying the Scriptnotes Podcast, if you’re enjoying what we’re doing today, and you want to pre-order the book, we would much appreciate it because it’s going to be a good resource for you all the times. We have a podcast you can listen to every week, but this is a podcast in book form, which is good and useful. Let us tackle our first Three Page Challenge.

Craig: Let’s dig in.

John: Our first Three Page Challenge is called Ancient Grains. It is by–

Craig: Michael Warnecke.

John: Michael Warnecke. Great. We have a synopsis here. “In a barn, on a barren field with starving animals, a group of drunk teens accidentally knock over a space heater, burning down a barn and killing all the animals inside. We then cut to those same teens standing before the town in the village center being reprimanded by a man named Faucher for using ‘ancient machines.’

As punishment, he sentences the teens to being blinded. As they force the teens to drink a poison, Ruth marches forward and begs Faucher not to blind both of her sons, as she’ll have no one left to work the farm. Faucher agrees and forces Ruth to choose which of her children will be blinded. When she finally does, her other son cries in anguish as he’s forced to drink the poison. Ruth bitterly thanks Faucher and the weeping parents gather their blinded children.” That’s what happens at the first three pages here. Craig, talk to us about this. This is some sort of post-apocalyptic situation. It seems like we’re in the future-

Craig: It could be.

John: -but there’s old technologies.

Craig: It could be. It could be some super culty, hyper Amish sort of thing. A lot of times we’ll get into the granularity of how people have actually written this out, but I want to start with a big logic question. In this scenario, teens are partying in a barn and they’ve got the space heater. Side note, I didn’t feel cold, so the space heater didn’t feel super motivated. We want to make sure if a space heater is important, show that it’s cold outside.

Then they get caught because they burned the thing down and they get blinded. It seems like they’re all very aware, because it surely has happened before, that the punishment for using new machinery is getting blinded. They seem really fine as they’re using the space heater. If the punishment for using a space heater is getting blinded, I’d probably just put a coat on.

The thing is, what do they need to use? How can we show that it is something that they absolutely needed to use to get to something they really wanted, knowing what the risk was, and then they get caught? That feels stronger to me.

John: I’m excited to have Michael here because so often we’re doing this on the podcast, and we really don’t have a good sense of what the whole script is or what this is leading to. We can ask Michael when he comes up, why starting here? What is it about this scenario that is the best way to get into what his story is?

We don’t have a clear sense about the story. We’re seeing a mother having to make a terrible choice between her two sons at the end of the three pages. We as the reader don’t know, is Ruth really an important character? Is this high official an important character that’s going to be coming back? It feels like we’re establishing the feel of the world, but I don’t have a good sense of quite what the movie is yet. I’m glad to be able to talk to Michael about this.

Craig: The idea that you’re going to go down the line of these teenagers, and each one of them has to drink the stuff knowing full well that it’ll make them blind. Again, slight logic point. Not sure how you can instantly go blind from drinking something, but let’s just say you can. That’s terrifying if I weren’t asking a lot of questions.

One thing to consider is that this scene maybe happens too soon. If you are in a community and you know what the rules are right up front, and you also see that, weirdly, a couple of people are blind, more than you would imagine would be blind in a small group, and that’s an interesting– that’s curious. Then these kids get together and say, “We’re going to do this and break the rules.” Now I’m invested because I understand the rules. Then I see, oh, the punishment is they made these kids blind.

What happens here is there’s a lot of stuff that happens really fast. Then on top of it, we have Sophie’s Choice occurring. It’s always tricky when you have Sophie’s Choice because Sophie’s Choice did Sophie’s Choice. When a mother has to choose between two kids, it can feel a little bit familiar in that regard. This may be a case where what we often prescribe, which is get into it faster, we might want to delay this and get into it slower.

John: I would agree, too. Let’s focus in on how we’re encountering what is here on the page and talk about what’s working on the page and what we need to amplify or rearrange to make this work a little bit better. I think my biggest macro concern of what I was actually seeing on the page is things felt vague.

In this second block where we’re in this ramshackle barn, there’s a group of teens, but they’re not differentiated. There’s seven of them, but I don’t know what’s the split of male and female. Who are they? What are they like? Ultimately, two of these kids are going to become important because they’re Ruth’s sons, but they’re not distinguished in this first scene. We’re not following them separately or better.

It’s described as they are doing typical teenage things. Well, you got to be specific here. We need to see what exactly they’re doing and how the space heater fits into all of this. The fact that we don’t have any dialogue, we don’t have any specific actions for them, we don’t have a sense of– There’s probably not music playing if there’s nothing else, but what is actually happening in here feels important. Right now, it just reads as being very vague.

The people in here, they’re not even uppercase to let us know that they’re someone we need to follow. They don’t have names. This is a real challenge. That’s coming off of an establishing shot, which is just showing us that it is bleak and barren fields, even the weeds seem to struggle. We have scrawny cows poking at the dirt for food, and then we’re moving into dusk. We’re getting a lot of vague setup that’s not being very specific to where we’re encountering this story.

Craig: A lot of things happen very quickly. Normally, efficiency is terrific, but sometimes it can come with a cost. Here, I think we do have a cost because we see that the world is barren. There isn’t much food. There’s a pasture that’s blighted. The cows are skinny. When you see skinny cows, it’s trouble.

John: Bad stuff.

Craig: Then we hear laughter, and we meet all these kids who don’t seem to realize that they’re living in a world without food and people that can blind them. There’s this confusion that immediately happens. Then John’s absolutely right. For instance, the heater tips over and a burlap bag catches fire. No one notices. Now, this is exciting. Fire is exciting to shoot on film. What happens here is that little flicker spreads to surround hay and blossoms. Someone grabs a stable blanket, like a horse blanket.

John: Who is someone? Someone is not a great term for this.

Craig: Someone grabs a blanket, tosses it onto the flames, but it’s already too late. What was everybody else doing? Is there panic? Is there fear? Does somebody freeze? Is somebody trying to be a hero? Fire. Do you know how many meetings you have to have if you’re going to have fire? Oh my God. It’s got to be worth it. You’ve got to figure out exactly where everyone is relative to it. I think here it just feels a little abrupt.

John: We’re coming off the barn is going to burn down. This is at dusk. Then we’re cutting to village center, day. We’re not cutting to, or there’s not a transition to. This is a big change in where we were versus where we’re going to.
For the reader, that’s where you put a transition line in there. It could be literally transition to, colon, or cut to, just to get a sense of, this was the big panorama we were seeing of the barn burning. Probably smash cut to the village the next day or however many days later, and we’re up on this stage where this Faucher is going through, “This is the process that’s going to happen to these teens.” I guess they’re all culpable equally. That’s a thing that is also worthy to be addressed.

Craig: I guess because they were all benefiting from the heater. We do talk a lot about transitions and how to use our medium visually to get from one scene to the next. Here’s something that you generally want to avoid. We go from this visual, “The startled teens watch in horror as fire engulfs the barn.” That’s dusk.

Then the next thing is day. The next day, “These teens now stand in a row.” That’s a hard thing to cut from. From those teens to those teens, it’s going to be a bit jarring.
If you went from those teens to close up of a jug of liquid and we hear sniffling and we hear the creek and somebody breathing and then we reveal these kids are now on their knees or something, then there’s a reveal. You want to always think in terms of big to small, alive to object, loud to quiet. Contrasts are what help us get between places.

John: Make that cut. As we come to this stage where Faucher’s going to give his speech, we hear that members of the community, many of whom are weeping, are gathered there. Members of the community, I don’t know how many. Is it five people? Is it 50 people? I don’t have a sense of the scale. Because this is all new to us, we really want to know how large is this group. It’s going to feel very different if it’s 100 people or if it’s five people.

Next, we’re going to meet Ruth, who is the mother of two of these boys. Again, we don’t know these boys specifically. We don’t know what they’re like. We don’t know which one’s older, which one’s younger. It feels like they should have names. Most crucially, Ruth is going to be doing a lot of talking here and we don’t get anything about her. We do get an age. We get 36, but we don’t have a sense of what kind of woman she is.

Craig: Wardrobe, hair, makeup. What is she wearing? Is she dirty? Do they have makeup? Is she tired? Hair, because honestly, it’s a huge thing. What is their hair like? Bedraggled, dirty?

John: All we’re going to know about her is that she’s a member of this community and she’s the boys’ mother, but because we don’t know anything about the boys, we don’t know anything about Ruth specifically, it’s really tough.

I guess a question we’ll ask Michael when he gets up here is, how important is it that we have all the other seven teens there also? Right now, they’re extras. They’re featured extras who are going to be drinking this poison and reacting, but it’s really about these two boys. If they are the instigators, they should be the ones who are taking the punishment there.

Craig: One thing that happens here is these other kids are getting blinded and mom, Ruth, is just worried about her two kids. I think the other people in the community might be like, “Hey, Ruth, did you not notice that Dylan just got turned blind? That’s my kid. What about my kid?”

They’re in a village center. Describe the village. What is in the village? We do not know anything. There is no further description of the village beyond the fact that there’s an elevated wood platform where these kids are standing, waiting to be blinded.

John: As we wrap up this analysis here, I do like the idea of quickly getting to a Sophie’s Choice. It is a Sophie’s Choice, but if I knew who these two boys were and the– Our first exposure to Ruth is this mother having to make this choice. That’s really compelling if I already got a better sense of what this world is like and who she is in it. I think we could probably get to here in not many more pages than this, but we’re just very rushed to get to where we are right now.

Craig: Setup. Some good logic questions. Let’s ask ourselves, truly, how would this go? If you were a kid living in this town and you knew what the deal is, what would lead you to violate the rules, et cetera?

John: Because Michael’s actually here, we can ask him these questions. Michael, please come on up.

Craig: Come on up.

[applause]

Nice to meet you.

John: Thank you so much for sending in your pages. It’s really great to have you here to be able to talk to.

Michael: Good for another 10 years then.

Craig: Yes, exactly. You don’t have to do that again for another 10 years.

John: Michael, we’re only reading three pages, but have you written the whole thing? What’s actually happening in this world?

Michael: Yes, sure. I’ve completed a first draft. I’m in the process of doing a rewrite right now. I chose to open the script with introducing the antagonist and try to establish the rules of this world where they have very harsh rules, where human life isn’t valued the same way, and the punishment’s very high. The only person that’s really important long-term is Faucher. The others are more just stand-ins for the rules of this world.

Craig: Okay. Now we have a perspective question. We like to talk about, whose perspective is this scene from? If he is the important one, there’s also a world where this begins with, we meet a guy, and he’s standing there looking at the ruins of a barn, and he finds what caused it, a heater, and who was here and who was it.

Then he goes, and then he metes out justice. We would go, “Oh, God, this guy that we were identifying with is a nightmare,” because the perspective here feels like it’s mom. Depending on who is important, we have to think about how we want to go in and whose shoulder is the camera over, if that makes sense.

John: That’s so helpful to know that this is meant to introduce him as the villain antagonist at the very start, because a lot of the choices you’re making make so much more sense knowing that now. The reason why the teens are non-descript and we don’t care and individualize them is because they are not the focus. The challenge is, reading through these pages, it looked like the camera was aimed at them rather than Faucher who is the person we really want to be exploring here. Craig’s suggestion is a good way to do it where we’re really encountering this world and entering this world from his point of view and him dealing with the aftermath of this rather than the setup of this.

Craig: Character. I would love to know, does this guy enjoy this? Does he like pouring this liquid down their throats? Is he a sadist?

Michael: No. He has a perspective that’s been informed by his own life where someone very close to him died because of exposure to an old technology that ended up killing his daughter. I don’t get into it a lot in the story because I don’t want to go off on the rails on this direction. There’s a religious order that’s developed where technology is banned and they have a hold of the power structure.

Craig: Got it. In a circumstance like that, what I want to see is humanity first. This is a man whose grief has damaged him and he is trying to keep people safe. He’s trying to keep them from dying. When he administers this, people beat their children out of rage. People also hit their children out of this measured, “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.”

I personally never hit my kids. You don’t need to. You just have to have a very stern voice. That said, I would love to see what he’s feeling. If he is a father and somebody that had a child and he’s doing this to children, does this hurt his soul to do, and he’s just that– He has to? These are the questions that I have about him as a person. Villains who are human are always more interesting.

John: A question we asked about weather and cold and this kind of stuff, where is this set for you? If you were to shoot this tomorrow, where would this be set?

Michael: The idea is that this takes place maybe 400 or 500 years in the future in rural Wisconsin.

John: That feels right. Again, the dusting of snow or something else like that might also help us there get a sense of the specificity of this place, because right now it’s just reading as post-apocalyptic anywhere. Grounding in a place could really help us out.

Craig: A little something about the apocalypse. One thing that you get to do, it’s fun when you’re doing something apocalyptic, is show what’s left over that has been grown over, abandoned, things that used to be valuable to us that mean nothing now.

Wisconsin, a lot of farms, tons of farms. Maybe in 400, 500 years, most of them have fallen apart, burnt down, whatever. Then I want to see that. I also want to see, in the distance, there’s a mobile sign. There was something.

John: A water tower.

Craig: The world has not been scraped clean. It just stopped. When things stop, nobody really goes around cleaning it up. Vehicles, planes, all that good stuff. Think about the opportunities that you have there.

John: Michael, thank you so much for sending this in.

Michael: Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.

Craig: Thank you. That wasn’t too bad. I think it wasn’t too bad. He’s probably like, “Jesus.” All right, sorry, I’m going to church.

John: Lightning bolts come down. The next script we’re going to be talking about is High North by Teddy Johnson. Teddy, raise your hand if you’re out here.

Craig: There, Teddy.

John: Thank you very much for sending this through. Here is what’s happening in these three pages. “A black cargo ship drifts in the ice of the Arctic Circle. A Coast Guard ship attempts to make contact with the cargo ship, but when there’s no answer, Captain Alamos and three other officers board the dark and seemingly empty cargo ship.

Inside, they find dozens of dead bodies, all frostbitten black and decomposing. One shackled corpse holding a stuffed polar bear startles the men when it springs to life and screams at them, while begging them not to take us back, before an officer knocks him out with a flashlight. When he does, hundreds more corpses are discovered. The next sequence begins with a montage of news footage on unrest over skyrocketing energy costs.” That’s where we are at the bottom of three pages.

Craig: Okay. I love a good scary thing set in an Arctic area.

John: I love the Arctic setting. I’ll say cover page looks great. The only thing I would ask for is a date. A date on a cover page is just a thing you look for and to see how recent it is. Everything else here, flawless and great.

Craig: You can always lie about the date.

John: Yes, just make it more recent. Craig, talk to us about your exposure here. Really, we should talk about what kind of scene this is, because it’s very classically a setup. It’s a cold open.

Craig: This is a good, old-fashioned cold open. The job really is, how do I do this scene in a way that hasn’t been done before? I’m not sure this gets to that. It is somewhat following the formula, but it does the formula fairly well. A couple of things that stopped me as I was going through, there’s lots of good visuals here.

John: There are.

Craig: Sometimes people are talking when they wouldn’t normally talk. I think there’s just a lot of extra dialogue we don’t need. It’s scarier when it’s quieter. Generally, when people work together, they don’t need to talk unless it’s important, especially in a situation like this, which is pretty grim.

They get into this room and there’s this big reveal, which is the big reveal. Dead bodies, dozen or so, men all ages, ethnicities, floor awash in a GRAYISH SLURRY. Now, GRAYISH SLURRY is capitalized. It’s the Arctic. Everything’s frozen.

John: Yes, so why is it not frozen?

Craig: Why is it a slurry?

John: That may be important.

Craig: It might be, but then I want to know more about the GRAYISH SLURRY. I want them to note that there’s a– Nobody seems to care about the liquid that’s not frozen. If it is frozen, I still want them to– if it’s important to me, it should be important to them. They’re looking around.

John: Yes, agreed.

Craig: Then a guy trips over a corpse, which is actually awesome. I love that.

John: We should say that you hear a thump before this and our attention turns to it.

Craig: So we get a little jump scare.

John: Love it.

Craig: Great. Then the captain looks at him and goes, “We good?” The guy says, “Yes, fine.” Then he looks at something else and goes, “What the hell is this?” If one of your underlings trips over a corpse and you turn back and you see that, you’re just glaring, and he’s like– it’s undermining the vibe you want to get.

I got pretty confused. I’m curious to see what you thought about this. When they get to a teenager and he’s gripping a polar bear in his fist and they’re all like, “Hmm,” and Captain Alamos says, “Call the medic. Though I doubt we’ll–” as if to say, “Maybe this kid’s alive,” and then, ah, the kid’s alive.

John: Part of your reason for your confusion is, he’s identified as a teen, but then the dialogue is for shackled man, and so I was thinking, “Wait, is this the same person?” I’m looking for teen in the dialogue.

Craig: Yes. It seemed to me, jump scare wise, we all know it’s coming, but I think that they would just be like, “Wow, this is sad. We’re going to have to report this.” Mundane sort of stuff. One of them touches the polar bear and then the guy– Again, the dialogue felt a little bit, I don’t know, low stakes kind of talking, as if you weren’t in a room full of frozen bodies. That’s totally really what I want to see if we can achieve here, but the scenario was fun.

John: Yes. You’re reading through the three pages and you get what this setup is. I understood why I saw that, that it was setting this thing up, and then as we get to the news footage, I was like, “Okay, this is all going to be related. I can see how these two things can plausibly fit together.”

Let’s talk about the very opening here. Right now, we’re starting with Super, 157 miles north of the Arctic Circle, “A black cargo ship drifts amid cracked tapestry of ice,” but then in the next block, it’s unusual, flat, no bridge, no flag and listing on its side. That belongs up with the description of the ship in that first section. Right now, it’s after Captain Alamos, so you think it’s part of his description, because it’s really what he’s seeing. What I’m saying is, I have no idea if Captain Alamos is a man or is a woman. I have no idea what the age is.

Craig: True.

John: This is probably a disposable character, but give us something to anchor our–

Craig: Casting people have to cast somebody. They’re like, “Help.”

John: “Help us. Help us,” desperately. That’s why giving him or her a first name and just some sense of what kind of person this is, is a godsend. It helps everybody in production, but also just a reader to form some image in our head. Is it a Sam Neill that I’m looking at?

Craig: Also, USS Healy, what kind of boat is that?

John: I don’t know.

Craig: We don’t know.

John: These are things we’ll want to know, so we get a sense of what kind of space we’re in for this. We’re going from the big ship onto a small craft, navigating the ice-strewn waters. Tell us how this feels. Give me a line to put me in this space because I don’t know how cold this is. I don’t know what this is actually really like.

Craig: I don’t know how close are we to them. Is it a motorized boat? Are we looking at the outrigger? Are we looking at an oar? Are we looking at this guy’s face shivering? I want to feel all that because it’s such an evocative idea, this boat clacking its way through these chunks of ice that are floating in water. I think you’re absolutely right, by the way, to get the description of the boat together, and then I would actually put the Super after that.

John: I would agree.

Craig: Let us look at some stuff, wonder where we are, and then you give us 157 miles north of the Arctic Circle.

John: On page two, things are just feeling a little too empty. It’s a little bit of a stock scene. We can fill in some details ourselves, but give us a little bit more about what the inside of the ship feels like. What does it sound like, if the boat is listing? You’ve said that it’s sloping. That’s a great detail.

It’s the whole thing. Is it canted so you’re having to walk up slopes? That could be cool. Do you hear it creaking? Is ice banging against it? All these things are suspenseful and will create the mood you probably are looking for here.

The officer trips on a corpse. That is a guy who is singled out and he needs to be uppercased because he’s going to be saying a line or– This needs to be singled out as a person who is useful. Tell us something about him or her so we get some sense of what the dynamic is.

Craig: This is a choice. The shackled man/teen yells in French. Now, if the idea is that the people he’s speaking French to don’t speak French and it doesn’t seem like they do, they seem like Americans, it might be better to just put this in French so that we understand that they don’t understand. You’re not going to be subtitling it because it’s more like he’s alive is the point and later we’ll find out what he said.

John: Either choice could work. You could subtitle it, but if it is subtitled, then I’d say put it in subtitle so we know what the intention is behind that.

Craig: It’s hard to subtitle a jump scare moment. It’s really hard. It feels like what’s scary is that this guy is suddenly alive and he’s curiously speaking French and he’s holding a polar bear, all good mysteries, so might as well just keep them mysterious.

John: Yes, keep them mysterious, but we don’t have to leave it as mystery because we have Teddy right here. Teddy, come on up and let’s talk about this. Teddy, tell us about this script. Is the whole thing written? Is it just these three pages? What have you written of this?

Teddy: This has been through a few drafts. It’s all written. The main reason I thought I’d toss this into the mix here was because this opening is brand new and it was based on notes I got from a random blacklist reviewer and also a friend of mine who occasionally reads my stuff.

They both had a similar note about the previous opening, which was actually just the news montage thing. Then later on, 10, 11 pages in, they mentioned this ghost ship that’s disappeared in the Arctic. They were like, “That seems cool. Why don’t you play with that?” I played with that and that’s what you’re looking at.

John: Great.

Craig: That’s good advice. I think the opening with the ghost ship almost always works. 50% of the time, or is it 100% of the time?

John: Of the characters we meet in this opening, are any of them important? This is just setting up the world, correct?

Teddy: This is all set up. We never see any of these people– That’s not technically true, but they’re not– None of these people are the antagonists or protagonists. That all comes on page four.

John: Are we guessing the tone right, that this a– To me, this feels like a scary world-threatening thing is happening. Is that correct?

Teddy: The vibe here, I think the idea is this is a dated comp, but like Three Days of the Condor, paranoid government conspiracy thriller. That’s what we’re aiming at. I realized that the ghost ship jump scare thing might seem a little bit too much.

John: From a horror movie?

Teddy: Yes. It’s not a horror movie. Like I said, I know that’s a dated comp, but that’s the vibe we’re looking for.

Craig: I can see that completely. Yes, this feels like the sort of thing that Tony Scott would have done an incredible job with.

John: Exactly, yes.

Craig: Yes, rest in peace.

John: As you were sitting in the audience and we’re talking through your pages–

Craig: How much did you hate it?

John: How much, like, “Oh my God, I’m so angry.” Did they make sense? Were we misreading things you were intending to do?

Teddy: No, you keyed in on, I would say, three or four things that I’ve also gone back and forth on. For example, the kid versus the shackled man. We’re obviously going to discover, why is there a ghost ship with a bunch of people shackled in the middle of the Arctic Circle? That’s the big mystery we’re going to resolve.

I don’t know why I changed– I went back and forth on the person who wakes up and does the jump scare thing. Why is it a boy? There’s a reason why there’s all these different ages of men in this ship and all different ethnicities. I think that was a place where I was just going fast.

Again, it was the second time I wrote this opening. I think I got caught off on the consistency there. Also, this is a personal thing, but I just try to write very spare. I see why you would want to describe Captain Alamos, give it an adjective, something. Also, I just want to move fast through the first thing.

John: I want to underline, I really liked that it was moving quickly. There were times where I felt like you could have even moved a little more quickly. They’re circling the boat and there’s a ladder bolted to the side. I don’t even need the ladder bolt on the side as long as I see them climbing off the ladder on to the deck. You could probably do some things even a little bit faster than that because as an audience and as readers, we have a sense of what you’re doing and that this is compelling quickly and we want to get on that boat.

Craig: I think you did a really good job. This should be spare. It doesn’t take many words to go, “She’s 40, weathered, tired, cold.” That’s it. It’s barely anything. It just helps us fill it in because honestly, in my head, he turned into like– you know the boat guy from Tintin with the beard and the corn? That’s what he was in my head. He literally was Captain whatever his name was.

Speaker: Captain Haddock.

Craig: Yes, Captain Haddock, which is not what you wanted.

Teddy: No, that’s not the vibe.

Craig: Speaking of consistency, tell us about this GRAYISH SLURRY.

Teddy: Again, I have gone back and forth on, do we draw more attention to that or not? What that GRAYISH SLURRY is is hyper relevant to the ultimate story. Again, one of the things that I’m trying to do over the course of the script is just build an incredible sense of mystery that builds a huge reveal. I didn’t want to go into that too much because at this point–

Craig: This is all it says, “Floor awash in a GRAYISH SLURRY.” No one comments on it, which means no one’s looking at it, which means the camera’s– If he walks in and we hear squish and he looks down and he’s confused because in this room of ice and everything, there’s this stuff that isn’t solid, that is weird and melted, and then he moves on, I’m like, “Okay, well, that’s relevant.” Otherwise, it’s just going to be a GRAYISH SLURRY no one will notice.

Teddy: Yes. Sorry. No, I live in fear of more than two lines of description and narrative.

Craig: Do not. They’re to give you a Kathryn Bigelow script where it’s 12 lines in a row.

John: Absolutely. A thing we often talk about in Three Page Challenges is how things feel on the page. It’s how much white space there is on the page. I’ll say in these pages, it’s very spare and the paragraphs are short. It invites you to read down the page and actually read every word on the page. You can break things up a little bit more. The extra few words or sentences we’re asking in a few places, I really don’t think will slow your read, and will just anchor people, make them feel like, “Oh, I’m glad I read that because I understand this moment, this beat, this visual better.”

Craig: Yes. Three lines is– you can start worrying after three. Two is a little severe.

Teddy: I appreciate the permission.

Craig: I’m rolling with that. Permission granted.

John: Teddy, you’ve written a couple drafts of this script. How many other scripts have you written?

Teddy: This is the third or fourth feature script I’ve written.

John: Has it gotten easier or harder with each script?

Teddy: I don’t know that it ever gets easier. I think I just am more comfortable with just messing stuff up and iterating and trying and just going. You go a little bit faster because you know– That’s all. I wouldn’t say it’s easier. You just fail faster.

John: That’s a crucial thing Teddy has learned. Nicely done.

Craig: Just describe my career.

John: Teddy, thank you very much for doing this. Thank you.

Craig: Thank you, Teddy.

John: All right.

Craig: Zeroing in on number three.

John: Number three. All right. Number three is Tall Poppies by Becca Hurd. “A woman named Teddi sits at a pub in Sydney, Australia during a rowdy Australian football game. She buys a pub-branded T-shirt and, pretending to be an employee, tells a group of customers they need one of their cars moved. The customers are too wrapped up in the football game, so she offers to move the car for them. Teddi takes the man’s keys and drives off and away.

We are then acquainted with the oceanside town of Edith Beach where Zoe, in her early 30s, Indian Australian, and muscular, surfs with her dog, Rosie, on the front of her surfboard. We then see Zoe working at her food truck. That’s what we’ve accomplished in three pages of Tall Poppies.

Craig: Fun cover page.

John: A fun cover page. Let’s hold on to show the audience because they may not be able to see it on their smartphone.

Craig: I’m not sure they’re going to be able to see that either.

John: It has a nice typeface for Tall Poppies, which is good and so distinctive. There’s a gun shooting a flower. It says, “Pilot, written by Becca Hurd.” It’s good for us to know that this is a pilot, not a feature. It has her email address, which is perfect. It has the date. I love everything on this cover page.

Craig: No, it’s grabby. Also, the other stuff is like, “Oh, it has to be all courier.” No, it doesn’t. We don’t care. Nobody cares. I really enjoyed this. What I particularly enjoyed was that I was confused until I got it, which was great. Now, there are a couple of things that, early, probably was not good confusion. Interior, The Waddle Seat Hotel, Sydney night.

Now, when I think of the interior of a hotel, I don’t think of a rowdy bar full of sports watchers. Here is, having just come back from Sydney, Australia, hotel means bar, and it’s confusing in Sydney, but it’s actually true. Everything is. This would be a problem because we’re not in Sydney, so you’re going to have to do a little bit of tailoring there just for Americans, so that they don’t-

John: Honestly, if we scratch out the word hotel, the Waddle Seat, we would get it as a bar.

Craig: We would get it. Here she is, small, unassuming, and she’s alone, which is terrific. The first thing we see is that she’s not really there. We’re looking at a woman with her eyes closed, and we’re hearing beautiful violin. Then as we pull out, we realize she’s in this bedlam, and she’s in her own head. This is very evocative, and I can do it. If I had to direct this, I could direct it. I know what to do. That’s super helpful. I love the way the sound comes in.

I have really one question. I honestly have one question, and that is, her plan relies on something that I’m not sure is a reliable thing, even much, because she’s like, “Hey, can you move your car?” I think a lot of people would be like, “Okay.” It’s a little bit of a stretch to think, hey, they’re going to give me their keys and let me move the car for them.

John: I bought it. I feel like she, Teddy, was making, it was a reach, but also felt like I was impressed by her, and then she pulled it off. I bought it the course of this movie. There’s refrigerated logic like, wait, would you actually do that? It worked for me in the moment really well.

One thing, I liked how this all started on the page. This all reads really well. There’s a good variation of paragraph sizes. One thing I would ask, though, here’s how we’re starting. We’re in close on Teddy, eyes closed. All we hear is beautiful violin. As we zoom out, we see that she sits at a pub high top. Two paragraphs later, we’re seeing Teddy is small, I’m assuming she wears a cast on her left hand. That’s information that goes back up in that top part, so we can see that, because it’s not new information when we’re seeing that there.

Then as we’re, you’re saying, zooming out, it’s really pulling out or whatever you want to say here. Teddy’s not given an age. I’d love an age, tell us an age. Tell an age, that she’s small and I’m assuming-

Craig: I mean, even bloke with a mullet gets an age.

John: Yes, see?

Craig: All we hear is beautiful violin. Yes, beautiful violin music or beautiful classical violin music. Something that’s telling us specifically what it is that we’re hearing, because I really like everything that’s happening here. I just want it to be a little brighter here.

The other thing I did notice is that we’re doing her pronoun a lot with actually not using her name. Look at the cases where you’re saying she, and see if there’s some places where you want to put Teddy back in there, so it’s just top of our mind who this is that we’re talking about. I believed most of the guys with the football game. I believed the sports bar space, the main guy we’re talking to, his name is Mase, M-A-S-E. I was wondering whether if we’re going to meet him again, we might meet him again, but I didn’t know at the moment whether it was important or not.

This is more of a question for you because we can’t ask you, because he’s given sort of individual thing rather than just being placeholder person. He’s given an actual character name.

Craig: If there was any way for us to see her making a choice as to which person to prey upon, now she’s sort of going for a car first, I think, instead of a person. That also is a little tricky because if she’s like, “Hey, who has this?” and somebody who’s just not that drunk is like, “I do.” Now what do you do? There’s just still a little bit of, I just want to think through the con artist logic because con artists, I’m not suggesting she’s, but somebody who’s committing con artistry, they’re always in control. They always are one step ahead. They’re the magicians who have the backup plan in case you pick the wrong card. I just want to get that feeling.

Then, when we shift away, good news is I wanted to stay with her, so that’s always good, but we get to this other place, then it’s connected through with her drive, and we meet an entirely different person who has a dog on her surfboard. This was adorable. We meet this cool person. She’s got a dog on her surfboard, she’s surfing. This is cool. A little bit earlier, an old man pulls his lazy dog along the sidewalk. That’s two dogs right in a row, and I want to keep my dog special. Then, after we see her surfing with her dog, she’s in the counter of her food truck. That was a little bit of a gear grind for me.

John: It was a gear grind for me, too. Part of it is that we see Teddy driving away. This is night as she’s driving away, and then we’re coming to dusk. There’s not a transition put here between these two things, but I think our natural assumption is we’re going to keep following Teddy, and we’re going to see Teddy the next day. Instead, we’re meeting a whole new character doing a whole new thing, which can absolutely work, but it was just a weird vibe for me. I couldn’t tell who I was supposed to be following. I keep expecting, Teddy has to meet this new character, Rosie, very soon.

Craig: I’m sure she will.

John: She will. It’s only three pages.

Craig: They may already know each other.

John: You like the dog on the surfboard. The dog on the surfboard felt a little dizzy for me.

Craig: I guess my question is, and we’ll find out, can dogs do that?

John: I’m sure dogs do that.

Craig: Because if a dog can do it-

John: That’s just a sore, I think. I think it really do it.

Craig: – then you can do it. If they can do it, then it’ll look like it’s doing it. You’re going to have to find a dog that can actually do it. I think maybe all we really needed here was to see her getting out of the water. He’s going, and she’s dragging your surfboard. The next thing we see is a food truck, and she’s walking up and unlocking it. Then, the next thing is, and so we go, okay, that’s her job, she goes there.

John: That’s her thing. It’s her truck.

Craig: Yes.

John: The last thing I want us to talk about is, at the end of the bar sequence, The Waddell Seat, the last line she says is, “I’ll sort you boys some free ones when I get back.” I wanted to cut that line, and then you pay it off where later on, it’s like, she gives some free ones. Okay, if you want to hold on that line, great. It does work, but if you could cut that line and find a different way for this guy, Mace, to be asking, like, “Hey, this girl has my keys. Where’s the blonde girl with my keys?” Like, “Which blonde girl?” would be another way to do it. Because I think you have a better out of that first scene without that extra line.

Craig: Yes, it’s a little bit tricky because we know that she won. I guess the thing is, do we even care about this drunk guy finding out that he got swindled? He got swindled. Unless he matters.

John: He may matter.

Craig: That’s the thing. He may matter, we don’t know.

John: Becca, could you please come up?

Craig: Come on.

[applause]

All right, tell us about Tall Poppies. What have we got here?

Becca: This is sort of an Australian nod to Thelma and Louise, but gayer.

[laughter]

Craig: Good. Why not? Gayer.

Becca: It’s two women who don’t currently know each other. They meet each other in the pilot. Then incidentally, they kill a man together. He’s a bikeym he’s in a bikey gang. They end up going on the run together. They have bikeys after them. They both are running from their past, so their past is chasing them as well. They start to fall in love with each other as they fall into a heroin empire.

[laughter]

Craig: Oh, and it’s poppies.

John: That’s Tall Poppy.

Craig: Poppies.

Becca: It’s Tall Poppy, yes.

Craig: Tall poppy syndrome.

John: For folks who don’t know Tall Poppy Syndrome is a down-under situation where they cut you down if you get too big. If you get too successful, they cut you down. Rebel Wilson was on, and we were talking about Tall Poppy Syndrome.

Craig: Tall poppy.

John: This is all really fun. Tonally, when I said that the dog on the surfboard felt Disney to it, is it comedic? What is the thing you’re going for? Is it cute?

Becca: My tonal comp would be Killing Eve. It’s a 60-minute crime drama, but there’s some comedy in there.

Craig: Now that I know what’s going on, when you have a movie, and there are some great ones, it’s funny. For whatever reason, the first thing that came to mind after you described the Thelma and Louise and all the rest of it was White Men Can’t Jump, where you meet two people. One of them hasn’t dealt with the other one yet, but they’re going to. Then, there’s the joining of con artists, just people on the run, falling in love, bromances, or romances.

When you do meet that second person, so much of what that scene has to be is, this is a different person than that person because you want the contrast. You want to go from somebody impeccably neat to somebody who’s a slob. It doesn’t have to be that broad, but your choice of what to do next does have to feel like, oh, these two people, I would like to see what happens if they get stuck together for a bit, if that makes sense.

John: The woman she’s going on the run with, ultimately, is this other–

Craig: Zoe.

Becca: Yes.

John: We don’t have an extra page to get to know her better, but tell us more about her and what their interaction is. Because last night on Scriveners Live, we were talking about relationships. Different characters need different things out of a relationship. What is the nature of their relationship?

Becca: Zoe is actually Laws. This is an alias. She comes from a criminal family. They are the biggest legal growers of poppies in Australia. Australia actually does grow a lot of poppies, but they also have an underground heroin industry as well. She’s trying to get away from her family, so she’s changed her name and is just in this beach town, nomadic life, surfing. Teddy is running away from an abusive relationship.

Craig: Now, here’s what I get. Teddy has no problem doing something that’s criminal. She’s actually rather good at it. It’s not a violent thing, so we love her for it. Now, Zoe is running from a criminal past. What I kind of want in some way or another is to meet somebody who is very definitely not breaking the law. Because she knows that she would get in trouble. She doesn’t want to get back on a radar. How you imply that, there’s a thousand ways. I don’t know if you agree with this, but the surfing itself only tells us that she surfs and that her dog is awesome. It’s not telling me any little tiny thing about her that may make me go, oh, these two might not like each other, or these two might be, we were talking about planes, trains, and automobiles, Steve Martin and John Candy, an odd couple of some sort.

You’re good. You’re a good writer. You laid these out great. You could see it. You could hear it. I love the way you sound. There were transitions. The good news is you can do it. This is what we do when we can do it. Just do it.

John: Becca, question for you. Is Mace going to come back?

Becca: He’s not.

John: He’s not going to come back. You understand the note that it feels like he’s a more important character than he is because he’s given a name and because he’s given a recall scene. Giving him a generic descriptor would probably help.

Becca: My one question, actually, for that is because I have another character refer to him like, “Oy, Mace, she’s talking to you.” Do you have to use the name?

Craig: You kind of don’t. In a situation like this, what you can do is you can say, mullet bloke, and then whatever. What is that?

John: Moustache.

Craig: Undercut bloke. Just two different haircuts. The fact that one of them says the other one’s name doesn’t really matter. This is great. It was just cinematic. I was watching it and it was having fun, so really good.

John: Becca, I was talking to you at the opening night party. We did this here, but you actually had a script that was also here in competition?

Becca: Yes, and I found out today that it won.

John: Congratulations.

[applause]

Craig: I saw that happen. She’s not lying. I was there.

John: What was that script? That’s not this script that we read. It’s a different thing.

Becca: That is not the script. No, that’s a feature called The Other Side of 25. It’s about a young stand-up comic in Chicago who becomes the surrogate for her older sister.

Craig: I’m not surprised. You can do this. Keep doing it. It’s going well. Congratulations. I was happy to see you win, and I was happy to see you here with these three pages.

Becca: Great.

John: Becca, thank you so much.

Becca: Thank you so much. Thank you.

John: We have a little boilerplate here. The Scriptnotes, all of Scriptnotes, is produced by Drew Marquardt, who’s here. Drew is the person who reads all these three-page challenges. Drew Marquardt, you’re the best. This show will also be edited by Matthew Chilleli, who’s our incredible editor. We want to thank Emily Locke and everyone here at Austin Film Festival. This has been a fantastic festival this year. Thank you to our room sponsors, all our volunteers, incredible.

Who here in this room is a Scriptnotes premium subscriber? Oh, we’ve got some hands here.

Craig: Oh, thank you, guys.

John: Every week, we do an episode for everyone in the whole wide world. We also do a bonus segment for our premium members. Thank you for the premium members, because they keep the lights on. A final check, who in this room has ordered the Scriptnotes book? [chuckles] All right. I need to sell those books. Thank you so much.

Craig: Thank you, guys.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Let’s try to get three or four questions. If people have questions about the kinds of things we talked about on the page here today, we can also ask general Script Note-y kind of answers of questions. If you have a question, raise your hand. I’ll call on you, and I’ll repeat the question. Right here.

Member of Audience 1: You were talking a little bit about how many lines, there’s too many lines. You’re talking about transitions. You’re talking about dressing the characters and things like that. I guess my question is, I know what scene heading is and things like that, but how do I know that my script looks right?

John: I think the thing that we come back to again and again on the Script Notes is that we will keep reading long paragraphs if it feels like it’s worth our time. If we’re engaged and those words are pulling us through, we’ll do it. Sometimes you turn a page, and it’s like a dense block of text, and you’re like, oh, God, I have to commit to this long paragraph. That’s why small paragraphs, short paragraphs, three lines, four lines, two lines, are great. Breaking them up, it feels so good because it invites you to come down the page.

The best advice I can really give you is you need to read a bunch of screenplays, a bunch of produced screenplays to see what they actually look like on the page. We make a weekend read, which every week we have a whole bunch of really good published scripts that we put up in there. Read those.
What other general advice would we offer?

Craig: Like anything else, you get better at it as you do it. You get a sense for these things as you approach your mythical 10,000 hours and so forth. Right off the bat, you probably don’t know until you do. Some people will get there quicker than others. That’s just the way it goes with everything.

Guitar, painting, writing screenplays, there’s certain innate stuff. Give yourself a break and make sure that you understand you’re going to grow and get there. It’s not possible for you to have the same innate sense of how a page should feel, and where you should slow, and where you should speed compared to people that have been doing it for 30 years. Give yourself time to grow.

John: The other thing, over time, you’ll internalize rules, but also just a sense of how things feel on the page, and you’ll develop a voice that is uniquely your voice. Craig and I were talking last night, there’s things, I think this was backstage, there are scripts that we wrote, and it’s like 10 years later you read it, it’s like, I know I wrote this, I don’t remember a damn thing about it, but it feels like me. Ultimately, your stuff will feel like you because you just make certain choices, you just do certain things on the page, and that only comes with just doing a lot of work.

It’s sitting down in the chair every day and writing, and writing a lot. It’s, yes, you’re going to go back through and refine and revise, but also you’re going to write new things, so you can get the sense of, what does it feel like when I write action? What does it feel like when I’m writing an intense dialogue scene? Those are the experiences that get the words feeling better on the page.

Another question I see right there. All right, I’m repeating here. Here with some students, what three things we really want to see in those first three pages, Craig?

Craig: The first is inspiration, creativity. I always think of the first five pages, but three, it doesn’t matter, are absolutely precious. You can do anything there because you are, as we’re in church, as the prime mover, began everything. That is the moment where you set it all in motion, and the moment you set it in motion, your choices begin to narrow, narrow until you reach the end when the thing that had to happen happens. Those first three pages, show creativity, surprise me.

You know. You’ve all seen movies, you’ve all seen TV shows. What have I not seen that I can then use in service of something that is somewhat conventional, that is a story that then connects to all of us? Inspiration slash creativity, give me somebody that I know I’m supposed to be identifying with, even if it turns out to be the bad guy and I have to change, that’s fine, but give me somebody that I’m connected to and make sure that something happens. One thing, doesn’t have to be the inciting incident, but it’s got to be something that helps me learn about the world, the characters, a relationship, something.

John: In those first three pages, I want to know what world I’m in. The setting, sure, but what kind of movie am I in? That’s the sense of, it’s the tone, it’s the feeling of. I want to feel that I’m watching a movie or watching a TV show, and that means I should hopefully forget that I’m reading something. I should feel like I’m seeing it, I’m feeling myself in it. Those are crucial things. That I’m with an actual person because we have to know who those people are. It doesn’t have to be our hero necessarily. Sometimes you start with somebody else, but that there’s anchored, interesting people that I’m curious about because what it comes down to is we could set down the script at any time, but if I’m curious, I’m going to keep reading the rest.

The thing we often talk about on Three Page Challenge is, was I curious to read page four? That’s ultimately what it is. Can you just keep pulling me along into the story? Great question. Thank you.

Another question out there. Somebody, I want to know something. Right here in front.

Member of Audience 2: Since you’re talking about character descriptions and even just being really quick with them, do you have any words of advice for or against if you use a really popular actor as a way to get me to the description, or do you think it’s not a good idea?

John: If you refer to a popular person, yes or no. Craig, what’s your instinct there?

Craig: You can. I’ve never done it. It’s probably best to say sort of like or ish. You don’t want to go, it’s Brad Pitt. If you don’t have Brad Pitt, stop reading. I do think it’s a little bit of a cheat. It feels a little bit sloppy. Rather than building a human for me, you’re asking me to just put the human I already know into that. You’re robbing me of a chance to build my Captain Haddock in my head.

John: I would agree with you. One of the real challenges is if you’re aiming for Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington, the minute you say that, every other actor is going to be like, “I don’t want to take Denzel Washington’s leftovers.” I don’t think I’ve ever done it, but if you have a character who models themselves after some famous person, that might be a way to do it, like sees herself as Taylor Swift. That could be a way to do it, but it’s unlikely to be the thing.

Just figure out what is it about the actual actor or person or personality that you can find words to describe that evokes that feeling is the best way to do it.

Another question right here.

Their question is, in dramas, you obviously want to establish something that’s gripping right in those first three pages, the opening setup. What is the equivalent thing we’re looking for in a comedy?

Craig: Funny.

[laughter]

John: We got to laugh.

Craig: There’s also tone. For comedies, we all have a general sense in our head of the different kinds. I want to know which kind I’m in, and I want something funny to happen, and I want it to involve the person that I am going to care about or get to know. That’s really it. In comedies, we often think about, rather than the first three pages, we think about what’s the opening bit.

I watched the opening of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective the other day. I don’t know why, I just did. The entire opening, it’s all under credits. It’s an open credit sequence. He is pretending to be a UPS package deliverer, and he’s got a package and it says fragile, and he is kicking it down the street. He’s throwing it against walls. He’s walking like Jim Carrey does, and eventually gets to this guy’s door and smashes it a few times. You get a sense like, okay, this is the bit. I’m learning about what kind of comedy this is and who I’m supposed to be identifying with.

It’s pretty comedic. You get to actually be somewhat formulaic. Unfortunately, you have to also be funny, so it’s such a problem.

John: In a comedy, you have to land something in those first pages, and really, you need a setup and a laugh that really nails it and that lets us know what kind of comedy this is. In your description of that, I get the tone of what that comedy is, and that’s going to be our expectation for everything after that. It needs to really establish, these are the kinds of jokes we’re going to see in this, but not those kinds of jokes, and that’s a tough thing to do.

There are a lot of really, really funny people in the world and really funny writers, but they have different lanes, and they couldn’t write the same thing. Nora Ephron is not writing Ace Ventura. I love her to death, but she would not have written Ace Ventura.

Craig: I wouldn’t say I love her to death, I mean, she is dead.

John: I know. I can still love her. I love her deeply.

Craig: You continue to love her as she is.

John: Absolutely. I love her after death. She’s great. A question over there.

[laughter]

Great. Let me restate this. She says she’s a very visual person, and she can see everything in the scene, but she’s having a hard time sometimes translating everything she’s seeing down to, these are the words that are going to create the same vision for the reader, and that’s our job.

Craig: That’s the job.

John: That’s the hardest thing about it.

Craig: That’s the job. Now, the good news is you can see it. A lot of people can’t. You can. That’s a huge advantage. Now, be a camera. Rather than just thinking about it all at once, be a camera and think about what the slices that you’re looking at. How close are you, how far are you, and why? In short, be a director. Think about where the camera should be, and think about what you want the Member of Audience to see and feel in that moment, or smell or hear. Then, you might start to be able to relay to us something that helps us recreate it as you want us to see it. It’s very important.

If I’m describing this room, and I know everything in it, I still need to go, I’m going to start on, actually, it says, “Pure as a pearl and as perfect.” If I start on those words, that’s intentional, that means something, and then I cut to somebody who’s eating a tuna sandwich and spilling it on their lap back there, not at all pure as a pearl and perfect, and I understand why. Then, I can see, oh, behind that person, there’s this huge room, and there’s the vault.

You begin to think the order, how you reveal it, what, why, all those good questions. The fact that you can see it is great. Now you just have to actually weirdly decide how to show us less.

John: My answer is probably a little bit different. I’ve written a bunch of screenplays, but I’ve also written books. The great thing about writing a novel is that you are in a space, and you can talk about anything. You can move through time within a paragraph, characters can smell things, you can get inside characters’ heads. In both cases, writing a chapter of a book or writing a scene for a movie, I’m landing myself in their space and I’m seeing what’s around you. At the same time, I’m now in a movie, sitting back, and I’m putting myself in a movie theater watching this thing.

That’s what Craig is saying about being a camera. It’s like, what I’m actually seeing on screen at a time, and that is probably where you need to focus next is, if I was watching this sitting in a theater, what would I be seeing on screen? What things would be coming to me? Because the camera is attention, and where is it directing the reader’s attention, which will ultimately become the camera.

Craig: I think that’s a great final question. Thank you. Thank you all.

Links:

  • Follow along with our Three Page Challenge Selections! ANCIENT GRAINS by Michael Warnecke, HIGH NORTH by Teddy Johnson, TALL POPPIES by Becca Hurd
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Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 713: Your First Produced Film, Transcript

December 10, 2025 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hey, this is John. Standard warning for people who are in the car with their kids, there’s some swearing in this episode.

[music]

John: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August, and you’re listening to Episode 713 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Often on this podcast, we speak with writers who have decades of experience in the industry, and while there’s definitely wisdom to be gained there, it’s perhaps not so relevant to listeners who are just getting started in the business as it operates now in 2025. Today on the show, we are talking with a writing team who graduated from Loyola Marymount in 2018 and then went through a variety of jobs both inside and outside the industry. This year, their first film debuted, KPop Demon Hunters, was a worldwide phenomenon, top of the Netflix charts, culturally inescapable for a while this summer. Welcome and congratulations to Danya Jimenez and Hannah McMechan, our guests on Scriptnotes. Welcome, guys.

Danya Jimenez: Thank you.

Hannah McMechan: Thank you.

John: I’m excited to talk with you about your journey from film school to now because it’s much more recent than a lot of other guests have been, but also just the process of going from, I’m in film school to now I’m being paid to write, to I now have a thing coming out in the world where people can see. I want to talk about day jobs. I want to talk about moments where you thought about giving up. I want to talk about collaboration and your process of working together.

In our bonus segment for premium members, I want to talk about what Hollywood gets wrong about Gen Z and portrayals of Gen Z and things that could be better or just misassumptions that are going to happen here. Let’s get started. Talk to us about where you guys first met, what you guys were writing separately. Danya, let’s start with you. Why did you end up at Loyola Marymount? What was the process that got you there?

Danya: I realized later on that I wanted to write for TV and film. All of my friends were doing political science, business. Those were the degrees that they were chasing after. I remember telling my college counselor that I was going to do the same thing, and she was like, “You cannot do that.” She was like, “I will actually talk to your parents because this would be a huge mistake.”

John: What did this counselor see in you that you weren’t seeing yourself?

Danya: I don’t know. That’s a really good question. I think she just saw that, oh, we had a lot of fun writing my college essays, they were very creative, and I never said, “We should be more serious.” I think she was like, “Oh, you should just do this.” She knew that I would never do my homework. I would always watch TV and film up until like 4:00 AM, and then that’s when I would get to do my homework.

John: You were procrastinating film buff, and she thought, “Well, that should be a film student.”

Danya: Yes. She put all of the pieces together before I did. I also didn’t even know that this was a job that you could have.

John: Nor did I until I actually was in college. It’s good that somebody tipped you off with this beforehand. You were aware that movies were written probably, but not that it was a job you could have.

Danya: Yes, I was like, “That’s not my business. I don’t know who’s doing that, but it certainly would not be me.” It wasn’t until I watched, this is the randomest movie to mention, but I always give it a shout out, No Strings Attached.

John: Sure.

Danya: I watched that a few times, and I was talking to my dad about it. I was like, “Yes, that job seems incredible,” even though he’s having the worst time in that movie being a writer’s assistant or a writer. I don’t even know. My dad was like, “Yes, that’s a job that you can have. I think you could do it if you wanted to.” I was like, “Oh, I should look into that,” even though, again, he was miserable in that, and I was like, “I want to do that.”

John: Hannah, talk to us about this. When did you decide, “Okay, maybe film school is the thing for me”?

Hannah: I was like a more serious type writer girl. I was really into novels. I remember being so young, I truly think whenever Microsoft Word first came out-

John: Oh, Microsoft Word’s been out forever. Microsoft Word is older than you, but-

Hannah: Oh, yes.

John: -you were writing. You were always typing.

Hannah: Yes. I remember being a child, child, and just writing books on Microsoft Word on my parents’ computer.

John: Books, how many were you writing?

Hannah: I was doing chapters-

John: Incredible.

Hannah: -of just, I don’t even know what because it was so long ago, but I really loved it. Then I started hearing as I got older, like, “Oh, you can’t make money writing books.” Then I was like, “Oh, well, how can I make money writing”? Then at the same time, I also loved movies and TV shows, but I also didn’t know that that was a job. Then I think when I was applying to colleges, I was like, “Oh, maybe I combine it? Maybe it’s easier to break into the film industry,” is what I was thinking at the time. I was like, “Oh, this is a smart practical choice is to, instead of writing novels, I’ll try to make it in the film and TV industry,” which realized later was not the case-

John: Absolutely.

Hannah: -but at the time, I was like, “This is better than novel writing.”

John: Hannah, what was the first screenplay you read?

Hannah: I actually think it was The Social Network, because we had to read it in one of our film classes in college.

Danya: Wow. I can’t believe you remember that.

John: Was that the same for you, Danya? Did you read any before that?

Danya: I could not even guess. What my first script was that I read, I have no idea. I just remember scripts that I did read when I was younger, like in internships and stuff like that. I read Nocturnal Animals. It was random.

John: Interesting one to be the first screenplay you read.

Danya: What’s the other one that was with Shailene Woodley, and it’s a really short script because it all takes place on a boat, and I think it’s 40 pages long?

Hannah: Oh.

Danya: It was all–

Hannah: She’s stranded in the water?

Danya: Yes. That one was really interesting to read, too.

John: Growing up in the age of the internet, you could have Googled and found scripts for anything, but you didn’t really do it until you had academic requirement to start doing it, and I’m always curious about–

Hannah: I think I truly was like, movies are made while they’re shooting it. They just have an idea. I didn’t know that scripts were a thing.

John: Nor did I. It is weird how we grew up reading plays in English class. There’s a play, and all the actors are saying the lines are in the play. We’re in plays, and we see all that stuff. We just don’t associate, oh, there’s the same underlying document behind a movie until you read it, and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, that’s the script.” The first script I read, I’ve said this on podcast many, many times, was Steven Soderbergh’s script for Sex, Life, and Videotape was published in a book along with his journal, and so I could actually watch the videotape and flip through the thing.

Oh my gosh, everything they’re saying and doing is there on the script. It’s such a revelation. It’s just like, “Oh, there really was a plan. There are blueprints behind this building.” It’s so exciting to see that. You guys both decided to go to school to do that, and often on the podcast, we are dismissive of what you learn in film schools, but tell me what you learned in film schools and how it was helpful and how it got you guys together. Danya, to start with this, what are the classes you were taking in Loyola Marymount film program? This is undergrad, basically, right?

Danya: Yes, undergrad. I really liked the film history ones, watching in the theater all the old movies, even though I did not talk shit on it. We just did a LMU Q&A session after watching K-pop, and I did say that I fell asleep a lot in that theater, but I did enjoy watching all these old movies that I wouldn’t– or even not old movies. I watched In the Mood for Love in that theater, and I remember being like, “Holy shit, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.” Just so beautiful.

John: Let’s talk about that. One of the advantages of going through a film program is you’re required to watch some things that are outside of your normal area of interest, which can be really good. It also helps you develop your taste, what you find interesting, what clicks with you, and if something’s not clicking with you, makes you introspect and figure out why it’s not clicking with you. You’re forced to respond to things you would otherwise never see, so that feels good. When were you first writing, though, in these programs? Hannah, what was the first thing you needed to write? Was it a general film and TV degree, or was it specifically a screenwriting degree that you were getting?

Hannah: Our school was specifically screenwriting-

John: Wow.

Hannah: -which is cool because there’s not a lot of colleges that offer specifically screenwriting, but I think we didn’t immediately jump into write a full feature, write a full pilot. It was we were doing scenes at first.

John: That sounds like the right plan. Can you give me a sense of what is the prompt for a scene? What would you need to go off to to write? Was it within a genre, or was it, “Here are the characters”? Talk to me about that.

Hannah: I’m trying to remember.

Danya: I’m surprised you remember that. I’m like, “Yes, that totally–“

Hannah: You know my memory. I don’t know if he– I’m saying “he” because most of our professors were men. I’m trying to remember if there was a prompt. I don’t know if there was. I think it was whatever you want to write about, write a scene, and there might have been a theme of like, “What is the emotion? Here’s an emotion that you guys should be writing about.”

Danya: Oh, yes, I just remembered this. That brought me back.

Hannah: Yes, but they were pretty vague. I think everything was pretty vague. I feel like the best part of going to film school was your friends more than the actual curriculum. Not to say that the curriculum isn’t great because they do force you to write, but it’s not like you’re really being taught anything that you don’t already have within you. They’re just forcing you to have a deadline, so that forces you to write, which is the hardest part.

Danya: Even structure, you can look these things up. You can buy books, but yes, the professors were great. They’re very supportive, very friendly, I would say, which is different from, I don’t know, what I heard about most film schools, that it’s very cutthroat. Ours was very like, “We’re all here together. We’re all going to do it collaboratively.”

Hannah: Yes, which made everybody in the program really close to each other, which helped later, because then you all get into the film industry together and you’re all helping each other versus having weird animosity towards each other.

John: Drew and I both went through the Stark program at USC, which is a graduate-level producing program. We definitely learned a lot in the class, but it was having that group of 25 students who were doing the same things, who were graduating at the same time, was incredibly helpful in terms of just the shared knowledge you had and the connections you had entering into the industry.

I do want to go back to, though, the writing you were doing in those classes, because we had Scott Frank on the podcast talking about theoretically if he were to open up a screenwriting school, how he’d want to do it, and it was very scene-based, that he was frustrated that a lot of the film and TV education about writing is like, “Okay, now write a pilot. Now write a feature.” It’s just like you need to start on a granular level with what is happening in a scene, what are these two characters attempting to do, how do you build out from that? Any of the things you wrote in that class or while you were in film school, did they become anything? Did they become samples? What was helpful about that writing? What came out of that?

Danya: Oh, yes. Honestly, a lot of the things we wrote there, not that they were produced, but they got us our agents, managers. They’ve gotten us jobs before.

Hannah: Yes, we still send stuff that we wrote in college as a sample for staffing. I will say nothing that we wrote separately has ever been sent out into the world or is usable, but once we started writing together, it was like, “Oh, these are good things, let’s keep using those.” Yes, there are things that to this day will get us staff that we wrote senior year of college together.

John: Meeting up with your writing partner in college is a very classic way things start, but you guys are separate students, so you both had to do your own work, but when did you start actually writing together?

Danya: We would have our own assignments that we were technically writing on our own, but we were both writing them together behind the scenes. I think one of our professors knew that we were doing this.

Hannah: Yes, but that didn’t start until senior year, but we found out that we should write together junior year. Then that senior year is when, yes, once we came back from study abroad, we were like, “We’re going to cheat the system and write all of our things together so that we can use them when we graduate.”

Danya: I remember getting our grades back for our scripts, and if one of us got a better grade, I was like, “Well, that’s annoying. We wrote that together.”

[laughter]

Danya: “It’s not fair,” but yes, it was worth it.

John: Talk about the early dynamic of being a writing team and what’s progressed over the years, because we’ve had a lot of teams on the show, and sometimes one person’s at the keyboard and one person’s at the side. Sometimes they completely write separately and then they pass documents back and forth between each other. What are you guys like? What works well for you? How did you discover what works well for you?

Danya: We kind of do it all, just depending on the deadline and the project. If we think it’s more comedy-based, then we will try to write it together because we will riff.

John: In person together?

Danya: Yes. Always try to do it in person, but we’ve started doing Zoom.

Hannah: I know. If things are piling up and there’s a lot of things that are due around the same time, then we’ll just split it up and do it completely separate, and then we’ll swap, but if we have time, it is a comedy, and so we want it to be really fun, then we’ll really try to write it together just because it turns out so much better if we’re riffing off of each other in person versus by yourself writing a scene. It just is never as funny.

Danya: Yes, or we’ll write it separately and just deal with the structure part, which is what sucks. Sorry. Then we’ll get together and punch it up, and that’s a reward for doing it by yourself.

John: Write it separately. Write scenes separately and stick them together or just completely different takes on how to do something and then you have to figure out what the–

Danya: Oh no. We’ll split it in half. We’ll be like, “I’ll do the second half, you the first half,” or we’ll do scene by scene.

Hannah: We’ll do the structure together. We’ll outline the whole thing just so that at least we’re on the same page about that, and then, yes.

John: Divvy up the scenes. The very few times I’ve had to write with a partner, that’s the approach we’ve taken, and you agree on outline, then you’re doing separate scenes. Most of the times, it works well together, as long as you realize, “Oh, that beat you were going for on yours, I also did in mine,” and so something has to move back and forth, but you can figure it out.

Hannah: The hard part about that, too, is if you’re writing and then you’re like, “Oh my God, I have this really cool idea, and so now I’m going to seed it in here, and so I need to make sure that she knows to pay it off later.” I feel like stuff like that, like runners, jokes that you want to be building off of, that’s really hard to do separate because then it’s just like you’re setting up a whole thing that’s never going to be paid off in the exact way that you’ve seen it in your head.

Danya: Yes. Also, it’s fun reading each other’s pages and being surprised by jokes.

Hannah: That’s true, yes.

Danya: We’ve been crying, laughing at each other’s things just as a little surprise.

John: Let’s go back to you’re graduating from Loyola Marymount. You’re here in Los Angeles. Are we both from LA? Where were you coming from?

Danya: I’m from Orange County.

Hannah: I’m from right outside of Yosemite.

John: Okay. You graduated. You’re deciding to stay in LA. You’re not moving back to where you came from?

Hannah: No.

John: Is that now what happened?

Hannah: Oh my God. I’m like, I could not go back to my town. There’s like 5,000 people in the whole place. I think we both were very delusional, and that has helped us, and so I think we both were like, “We’re going to make it. We’re obviously going to make it.” Once we started writing together, the pilot that we wrote together our junior year, got us into the Black List Women in Film Lab our senior year of college. After that, that just fed into our delusions because we were like, “Well, we’re amazing writers, and they think so,” so yes, when we graduated, we were very much– and after we got into that program, we sent cold emails to everyone in the industry with that script.

John: You say everyone in the industry. How many people were you sending emails to?

Danya: Oh, so many people.

John: More than 100?

Danya: IMDbPro is scary to have access to.

Hannah: It was probably like 200 emails.

John: Wow.

Danya: Just copy and paste. It wasn’t like a cover letter that we’re–

Hannah: No.

Danya: No. Just generic.

John: You’re saying, “Hey, we’re this writing team. We’re in the Women in Film Black List program.”

Hannah: Yes. That was in the subject line so that they opened it, actually.

John: Short thing about who you are, what zone you’re in terms of how they should consider you and that script, or what were you sending through?

Hannah: Yes, we sent the script that we went through the program with.

Danya: I think we sent it as a link so that people wouldn’t see an attachment and be terrified of the email. It was like a secret insert.

Hannah: Yes, we were really strategic about it, and we tried to only email assistants at agencies and management companies instead of the actual agent and manager, so, hopefully, the assistant would open it, read it, and be like, “I’m going to recommend this to my boss,” which didn’t end up happening for some places, but it worked out because one of the places we sent it to, he turned out to be the head of Lit at Abrams. We didn’t know that we had accidentally sent it to him, but he was the one that actually opened it, brought us in. This was our senior year.

Danya: We were still in college, yes.

Hannah: We were still in college. We graduated with an agent hit-pocketing us. I think that was like, “Oh, we’re on the right path. We’re not giving up, because everything’s kind of–“

John: I just wanted to define terms for people who don’t know. Hit-pocketing means that they haven’t officially signed you as a client, but they’re– put you out there in the world, and if that deal happens, then you’re going to be a client. Just sort of a not full and official, but sort of yes, we’re rooting for you. It’s a common way for things to start out as an agency relationship. Talk us through that interest from Abrams, that sort of sense because it’s got to be just weird to be a college senior who has an agent and it seems like, “Oh, this is all going to click and work.” Was there jealousy among your classmates? Were you not sharing that news? It feels like a big deal.

Danya: Yes. We were living at the time with all of our best friends in one house, and we’d be like, “Okay, here we go, off to Beverly Hills.” I think everyone was happy for us. Everyone in the house was doing different stuff. We had actors. We had directors. No one was a writer, really.

Hannah: Yes, but I will say, even though we technically were signed, and we also got a manager, too, because he hooked us up with our manager, we thought, “Oh, we’re going to immediately be working in the industry,” but that didn’t happen. For the first eight months that we were post-grad but signed, we were really confused, we were like, “How can you be signed and not have [crosstalk]?

John: Yes, be working. Totally.

Hannah: Then we became substitute teachers. I feel like it was a weird contradiction of we’re these fresh-out-of-college signed writers, which feels very hard to do, but we’re substitute teaching. It was a weird disconnect where we were so excited and felt so good about ourselves, but also we’re going to teach kindergartners that were pooping their pants every day and writing after work.

Danya: If there was jealousy, it was immediately gone once they saw us waking up at–

John: Yes, because that’s the natural toiling of it all.

Danya: Oh, yes.

John: A couple questions about substitute teaching. First off, can you be that unqualified and be a substitute teacher? Because you don’t have to have an education degree.

Danya: Oh, absolutely not, and you should not be teaching. I’ll say that. I was teaching high schoolers, and I was like, “I should not be here.”

John: I think of substitute teachers are often babysitting, but you don’t even have the necessary skill set for that. How do you get hired as a substitute teacher?

Danya: It is so easy.

John: What do you do?

Danya: The first thing you need is a bachelor’s degree, actually.

John: You got that.

Hannah: Yes.

Danya: Then you need to take the CBEST test.

Hannah: That’s basically like the PSAT. It’s the easiest test in the world. It takes like an hour. It’s truly probably like second-grade level stuff.

Danya: We were stressed about it, though. I remember we were at the laundromat doing a practice test as we were doing our laundry.

Hannah: We were stressed, but that’s because we’re really bad at science and math.

Danya: Yes, that’s true. Not a strong suit.

John: I love taking tests, and I miss taking tests. I loved standardized tests. Now I’m thinking, like, we’re going to take the CBEST test. You’re going to be a substitute teacher. Absolutely. It’s my calling.

Danya: It’s honestly a really fun job. It was traumatic in a lot of ways, but so fun.

John: Does it pay at all?

Danya: Yes.

Hannah: Yes.

John: How much do you get for a day of substitute teaching? Like if filling in at a kindergarten, filling in a high school, are you making–

Hannah: I think it was literally like $150 a day, which at the time we were like, “Oh my God, you can’t get this anywhere.”

Danya: You’d be done early. You’d be done latest 3:00 PM.

Hannah: Yes. Then we’d go to WeWork after–

Danya: Which we had a free membership.

Hannah: Yes, through the Black List because we love them. They’re our biggest supporters. We would go to school 7:00 AM, off at 3:00 PM, go write our own stuff on the side. We did that for eight months, which at the time felt like no one had struggled as long as we had, which is so not true, but at the time we were like, “Oh my God, this is taking forever. When are we going to make it?” Then we finally got our first paid writing gig and luckily never had to go back to substitute teaching.

John: Let’s go back to the Black List Women in Film program. What did it actually consist of? You applied to it with this script. You got into the program, but what were you actually doing in the program? How often were you meeting? Who were you meeting with? What were the things you were doing over the course of that program?

Danya: We were meeting, was it twice a week for a month, I think, and we would go to Hollywood to NeueHouse. They were there first, which was super fancy. It was way more social, I would say, than working on your script that you got in for, which I think was incredible because that’s what we were there for, to make all these connections. We didn’t know what agents and managers were, the difference between them. We didn’t know what generals were. They did a lot of mock generals for us with actual execs. They had showrunners come in and talk to us. We had like– who did we have come in that was so cool?

Hannah: Jenny Connor.

John: She’s great.

Hannah: Yes, she’s great. Ah, no, I’m not going to remember anybody’s name.

Danya: Like Sex and the City, Mad Men.

Hannah: Yes, just really, really big showrunners and cool execs from every studio, and they just put all of us ladies in front of them and really just taught us how the industry worked. Once we got in, it was like, “Your script, who cares? We’re going to teach you how to operate.”

John: All the other things. It was teaching you the business and the ethos of it, just how it feels to be in the industry, which is really important also because you’re coming right out of undergrad, so you’re still fresh baked in terms of you’re not used to the working world, and so it’s good for you to have that exposure. Let’s now fast forward to, you’ve been substitute teaching. You are now, is it your agents, your managers? Who is getting you into the media, into your first paid job?

Danya: We actually got that through a student at LMU, who’s– honestly, she was more of an acquaintance at the time. She was one of our best friend’s friend, and she was the youngest assistant at Sony at the time or something. I’m pretty sure she was doing that while she was a senior in college. Her boss, Alex Zahn, who’s now at Netflix– Her name is [unintelligible 00:24:08], by the way. She’s also still in the industry. She told us that Alex was looking for a Latino script. Super vague. We’re like, “No worries.”

John: Yes, sure. Absolutely.

Danya: “We’ve got you,” which we didn’t. We actually had never written a feature together at that time. We went to a diner and wrote a feature in a week, and we mean it when we say a week because it was bad. It was a long pilot. There was no descriptions. The action lines were so, so basic, but her boss read it and liked it, and so he’s like, “I’d love for you guys to come in.”

We went to Sony and me and Hannah were like, “Wow, we are selling this thing. We’re doing it.” Then he was like, “Yes, this script is not going to happen. However, I have this rewrite assignment that I think you guys would be good for.” We’re like, “Okay, totally.” We pretty much pitched on this rewrite for, I want to say like two weeks. We were just going back and forth, because he really needed to trust that we could do it, so we were doing way more than I think a normal rewrite would require before being hired.

Hannah: Yes. I think he just really liked us and liked how we wrote, but also knew that we were so young and so inexperienced that if he was to convince his boss to hire us, he would need basically the entire script written before we got hired, and so he really put his neck on the line for us, which is incredible. We owe so much to him because if he had never given us that first writing credit, I don’t think we would have been validated to get anything else after.

Danya: It also gave us a lot of confidence, I feel like, because it was a studio job. We were going to Sony. I don’t know. As far as we feel.

Hannah: Yes, that wasn’t our agents at all. It was just our connections from college and hearsay. I also think what we did in the beginning that helped so much is if we truly heard anything that anyone was looking for, we went and we wrote it in a week because that’s how crazy we were, and I think that that’s something that you really have to be willing to do is to actually not sleep for a week and write something, even if it’s bad, just because I think that not everyone does that, and they don’t have the material when it comes time to give it to someone.

Danya: It’s also a lot easier to do with a writing partner because you’re both being anti-social losers together. Especially when we were really young and all of our friends were going out partying and stuff and we were just like, “Here we go, to WeWork on a Friday, on a Saturday.”

John: The Friday nights at home writing in my early 20s were very productive, but also very anti-social. It’s a real reality. You guys are 22, 23 as you’re starting to do this. That is the era which is like you don’t need sleep. You just crank, and that’s great. This project at Sony, it’s a rewrite at Sony. You get this job to do a rewrite probably at scale or something. It’s a small amount of money, but enough money, and it’s an actual, real job job. What was it like going from, “Okay, we can write a script” to like, “Okay, now we have to deal with notes from a person who’s actually telling us what they want and what to do”? Did you end up feeling good about the script that was finally delivered?

Danya: No. It was as good as I think we could have made it with the concept itself. It was not something that we would normally write ourselves. It was more of like a melodrama. The first draft that we wrote was horrific. We sent it to our manager and he was so panicked. We have the chillest manager, like such a, sorry, Drew, frat star. He called us at, I want to say 11:00 PM and he’s like, “Okay, we’re going to go through this whole thing and figure this out,” because it was so, so bad. I think the night before we had to send it in, we rewrote the entire thing.

Hannah: Yes. It was definitely the most stressful experience of our life, having to go from writing for fun to writing for paid work, and yes, because we hadn’t really written features before and we were hired for a feature, the first draft was 135-something pages.

John: That’s long.

Hannah: It was just so meandering. We had no idea what a structure for a feature was supposed to be because the only other one we had written was that diner script that we wrote in a week to get this project. Yes, our poor manager was like, “This is due next week?” and we were like, “Yes.” He’s like, “Oh my God.”

Danya: We didn’t know that you could push– He gave us four weeks, which is–

John: That’s a crazy amount of time.

Danya: It’s a crazy amount of time, and we didn’t know that we could be like, “Hey, actually, I think we need more time,” so we were like, “Fuck, okay, it’s due tomorrow. A hard deadline, we’re going to get a bad grade.” I don’t know why we were so [crosstalk] about it.

Hannah: Yes. We didn’t know anything.

Danya: No.

John: You’re now paid writers, and so you’re getting some money, not enough to get into Guild or get insurance or any of that stuff yet, but you’re getting some money. Then were you just taking other meetings? How are you going from that? I have to suspect that both your manager and your agent are very excited they can now market you as people like, “They’re coming off a job at Sony.” It makes it much easier for them to get you on the list for other things. Were you aiming for other feature stuff, for TV staffing, anything? What was your mandate to them?

Danya: We really wanted to staff on a show bad, because we’re pretty social, and I think at the time, it was like Pen15 had just come out.

John: Oh my God, what an incredible show.

Danya: We were like, “Obviously, we’re going to get on that.” That was our mindset. Yes, we were like, “Please submit us places, anything. We’ll do anything.” We did roundtables. We did punch-ups.

John: Let’s talk through for people who are listening. Roundtables, you’re bringing in a bunch of writers to look at a script that is somewhere in development, or maybe it’s heading into production, and so you are talking through the stuff, making suggestions for things that can improve. Sometimes you’re even doing a little reading of the script there as you’re starting to do the work, versus punch-ups, which is you’re just looking for joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. Both of those are one-day situations, they’re paying you a grand, a couple grand, not much.

Danya: No, even less than that.

John: It was an opportunity for you to be in the room with other writers and executives who were noticing, like, “Oh, they’re funny,” or whatever, and hopefully they’re going to use you for other projects down the road.

Danya: Yes, exactly that.

John: They can be a grind, they can be a trap, they can be a problem, but it’s very reasonable for you guys to have taken those jobs when you took them. You have the money from this one Sony rewrite, and you’re just stringing that along and trying to find the next paid gig. What ended up being your next paid gigs?

Danya: We did one roundtable for American Pie Girls’ Rule. That was like a female youth pass because two older men had written it. Our friend actually ended up being in the movie, Natasha Behnam, which was really cute. Then we did one youth punch-up for that animated movie. What’s that called? Ron’s Gone Wrong?

Hannah: Oh my God, I forgot about that. Yes, we did.

John: When you say that kind of punch-up, how long were you working on that?

Hannah: I think they just sent us the script. Yes, that one, we didn’t have to go in person. They just sent us the script, we read it, and we gave–

Danya: No, we did go. We gave notes in person. Remember, that’s where we met Andrew.

Hannah: Oh, okay, but we got the script ahead of time and got to read it and then come in prepared. Then I think the next thing we got was the Disney Channel writers’ room, which that truly felt like the first real, real job because you’re going in every day, nine to five. It lasted, honestly, almost a full year.

Danya: It was a Disney Channel show, so lots of episodes, but then also the pandemic extended that.

Hannah: Yes. We got our own episode, which was so cool to get at that age. I think we were– were we 23 or 22 when we got hired for that?

Danya: Yes.

Hannah: It really felt like, “Okay, this is finally, we’re set a little bit in the industry.”

John: One challenge, though, of course, is you’re splitting a salary, so it’s great that you’re getting paid some, but it’s going half and half, and money goes out to your manager and to your agent, so it’s challenging on those fronts to make that all connect, but it’s great that you have an ongoing, having a sense that this is your actual job that you’re showing up for is so validating and so important. What are the steps between here and KPop Demon Hunters, and did you have any sense that it was going to be a thing, thing when you were first meeting on it?

Danya: While we were in the Disney Channel writers’ room, that– wow, you’re going to be so happy with it. Hannah’s always dying to tell this full circle moment. Actually, you know what? You tell it.

Hannah: Okay.

Danya: This is your moment to shine.

Hannah: It’ll finally hit.

Danya: Because everything’s been set up.

Hannah: I know. It’s already been set up.

Danya: You don’t have to do it. Okay.

Hannah: Normally, I have to set up the diner script, but we’ve already set it up. That diner script that we wrote in a week for that one exec, we continued to edit that and work on it over the next year or so because we did really love it. The first draft was awful, but eventually it got to a good place, and we submitted it to the Sundance Feature Lab. We got into the Sundance Feature Lab with that script while we were in the Disney Channel writers’ room, and so we went out there. Luckily, our showrunners let us take a week off. We went out there, and one of our–

John: Is this while it was still in Utah, or had it moved to Colorado at that point?

Hannah: Utah?

Danya: Yes. Park City, yes.

Hannah: Yes, Park City.

John: Park City. This is the winter lab or the summer lab?

Danya: Winter.

Hannah: Winter. It was 2018 or 2019?

Danya: 2019. Yes, it was in January of 2019.

Hannah: Yes. Right before the pandemic. This was when we were hearing that it was in Washington for the first time. That was that Sundance.

Danya: It was actually Ground Zero at that time.

Hannah: Yes.

Danya: We knew a lot of people.

Hannah: We didn’t realize that was Ground Zero. Anyways, one of our mentors at this program was Nicole Perlman.

John: Who’s fantastic. She’s been on the podcast before.

Danya: Oh my God.

Hannah: Nicole is terrific. She did Guardians of the Galaxy. She’s worked a bunch on really beloved sci-fi fantasy shows, and she’s an absolute dream. One of the things that I’ve adopted from her is the idea of a writing sprint, which is basically you set a timer for 60 minutes, and the next 60 minutes you’re going to write. Nicole pioneered, just on Twitter, she would say, “I’m starting a writing sprint at the top of the hour. Who wants to join me?” and so you just join in. It’s good to have other people were writing along with you.

Danya: She’s so cool. We owe her, honestly, everything.

Hannah: We do. We always keep forgetting to thank her. We’re always like, “We should thank her.”

Danya: This is our moment. Thank you.

Hannah: Hopefully, she listens to this. She was our mentor, and she read our script, which our script was raunchy, rated-R, live action. She was like, “You know what? You guys would be perfect for this movie that I’m EPing called Untitled KPop Demon Hunters,” which the name has never changed, and that was five years ago. We were like, “That’s so interesting. What is it?” She’s like, “It’s a kids animated movie about K-pop.” We were like, “That is not what we do. That’s not really what we want to do, but we’re also 23, and so we will do it.”

John: Always say yes. Yes.

Hannah: Yes.

Danya: Yes, always.

Hannah: She recommended us to Maggie, the director. We came back from the program, and we immediately pitched, went to Sony, pitched to Maggie and the producers. Our pitch was terrible. It really, really sucked. It was not an animated movie.

John: Let’s talk about why. You read the script. You read Maggie’s existing script.

Hannah: No, there was no script.

John: There was a concept space. Okay, but not a script. All right.

Hannah: Yes, it sucked because animated movies, they need to be big. I guess that was the main thing.

Danya: Also, we had just written one feature at this point. That’s important to note. It was live action, and it was for Sundance. Now we’re being asked to go in and pitch on a Sony animated movie. Millions of dollars. Huge difference. I think what we pitched, if it were live action, it would be less than $1 million. I think it took place in one home. The finale was a pool party.

Also, the K-pop aspect of it was all wrong, too, because we had watched maybe one video and we thought, “Okay, they’re dancing in this one video.” Obviously, in other videos, they have instruments. Duh. We pitched all of them with guitars, drums, all this stuff. Maggie was like, “Okay, so no to all of this, essentially, but I like your guys’ voice.” She was writing a movie about three girls in their 20s that were roommates and best friends and coworkers. At the time, we were also living together. It was just a really easy match, I would say.

Hannah: It was a personality high.

Danya: It was a personality high.

Hannah: It worked out so well because we felt so connected to the girls. Everything else, she was kind of like, “You can learn about K-pop. You can learn about what it means to write for animation, but I like your voice. I like your vibe. That’s what I’ve been looking for,” because I think she’d been interviewing a lot of older men with the right credits and stuff. I think what she couldn’t find was the voice.

We really lucked out, because we didn’t have the credits, and we didn’t have the structure or even a good pitch, but we had the vibe. Then, yes, everything else came later. We learned about K-pop later. We learned about how to write for animation later, all that stuff. Yes, in the beginning, it was just like, she was like, “I trust you. I’m going to take a chance on you,” and it worked out.

Danya: I will say it’s also very important to mention that we did become K-pop stans. I don’t want anyone to come for us. She told us to watch maybe one K-pop video and maybe a K-drama. It’s called a K-hole. There’s obviously the drug one and then there’s a K-pop one. We entered K-holes, spent thousands of dollars on our boys, tickets, merch.

Hannah: Yes, just so that no one thinks we’re not K-pop stans.

Danya: Yes, we are hardcore stans. Also, I watched so many K-dramas. They’re still some of my favorite shows, K-dramas.

John: Awesome. One of the other challenges in Kpop Demon Hunters is that you have a trio of heroes and each of them have their own storylines and things they need to service. I did Charlie’s Angels, and they share a lot of kinship between the two of them. It’s a really challenging thing to do because every scene has to support multiple things. It has to support individual character stuff of one of the three, their group dynamic, and move the plot forward, and you have to have surprises and reveals. It’s a challenging structural movie. At the time that you were coming into it, it was just a Sony theatrical movie or had already sold to Netflix? Did you know where it was headed?

Danya: No. All we knew was, yes, Sony theatrical. That’s what our contract said.

John: Was your contract for a number of weeks, a number of drafts? What did your contract look like?

Danya: Everyone else on the project was paid weekly. Ours was for a treatment, a script, a rewrite, a polish, like a standard live-action movie. Very different how you do animated movies and live-action, which we didn’t know at the time.

John: I’ll say that, actually, I haven’t done a lot of animated movies, I generally am contracted on drafts and revisions, but it’s absolutely true that most of those people are on there weekly because it’s just this long, ongoing process. The challenge of you guys being on a draft basis is that those drafts can stand out for a very long time and they cannot pay you as frequently as they should pay you. How long were you working on KPop Demon Hunters? How many months, years was it?

Hannah: We were on it for the first two years, and then we were off it the third year when it sold to Netflix. I think Netflix wanted new writers to come in and take a look. Then we were off it for a year, and then they brought us back the fourth year. Then we were off it again the last year, the fifth year. I guess it was a total of two and a half, three years.

John: Isn’t it so strange when you leave a movie, I’ve done this a lot, you leave a movie, you come back and you’re like, “Oh my God, it’s grown a lot, but it’s also grown in weird ways,” things you don’t expect and decisions are made like, “Okay, well, that is what we’re doing now.” It must be exciting to actually see illustrations and probably temp reels and you got to see pencils and probably tests for a lot of things, and yet it’s almost a movie, but it’s not quite a movie. It’s a weird state when you come into movies that way.

Hannah: We loved seeing the animatics, the character designs, the set designs because you just don’t get to see that in live action.

Danya: Working with the storyboard artists and seeing what they bring to each scene, you’re like, “God, you’re so funny and smart. That’s exactly what it should be.”

John: Yes. During the two years you were originally on KPop Dream Hunters, then you were off and so on, what other work were you doing? I assume you were going out for a bunch of meetings. What was that life like? It doesn’t stop while you’re employed. Tell me about that.

Danya: It was the pandemic, so we had a lot of time. Didn’t have to do anything social. We were working on the KPop movie. We were still in our Disney Channel room. Then we were also working on the Diner script because Amazon and Macro optioned it. We were doing that with them. Three projects at once for the first two years

Hannah: Yes, which was really challenging, but because it was the pandemic, we were able to juggle it all. Eventually, the show ended and the Amazon project ended, so then we were just KPop. That was extremely time-consuming, so that took up all of our time towards the end. Then we got on another TV show. We did a Ren & Stimpy reboot, writer’s room.

Danya: We did a Paramount Plus script that never went anywhere, but they did pay us.

Hannah: We did a Lord Farquaad origin story for Dreamworks. Just a treatment, though. Never made it to script.

Danya: Oh, we did a Cheech & Chong biopic that also did not go anywhere. So many things die.

Hannah: Everything dies.

Danya: Everything dies.

John: Through all this other work, because KPop Dream Hunters was not a Writers Guild-covered movie, are you guys WGA yet? What got you into the guild?

Danya: The Disney Channel room got us into the guild originally, but we have been in and out of the guild so many times because we did not make the requirements.

Hannah: Yes, because we kept going to animation.

John: That’s really one of the giant challenges. As you’re dividing your work between two different places, you don’t earn enough in either space to give them health insurance.

Hannah: Yes. Well, the most recent show we did, luckily, has us in the WGA for a while. It’s the Matthew/Woody show that we were co-producers on. So many random things in between that paid the bills but never actually went anywhere.

John: That’s a screenwriter’s life. That’s the reality. Most of the things you do are not going to get produced, but if they’re putting money in the bank account and keeping a roof over your head, those are the jobs you take. Hopefully, they’re building towards other things down the road. If that project doesn’t get made, at least you’ve got something out of the experience or the connections or something else that’ll help you out for the next thing past that. Drew, we have some follow-up from previous episodes. Let’s start with, back in 7/11, we were talking about breaking in. We have two guests here who have more recently broken in. Let’s see what the instinct is here.

Drew: An aspiring adult woman writes, “Sam’s question about how to break into the industry at 34 really hit home for me. I appreciated the brutal honesty of Alina and John’s response, but damn, it also sucks. I’m also 34, living Sam’s goal, working as an assistant at a production company, and I feel stuck in a different way.

I’m so close to everything yet still so far. I’m utilizing every connection I have and will continue to forever, but I’m frustrated by the people long past retirement age not passing the torch. Of course, the industry is changing and there is uncertainty in the air, but I believe so much of the problem is that the 65-plus crowd is not stepping aside and letting a new generation be the adults in the room. We just have to keep writing. Keep writing, Sam.”

John: All right, so much to unpack there. I want to start with the last point about people stepping aside. I’m not sure that it’s writers in their 60s who are the problem, but it may be decision makers in their 60s who are not hiring new people may be one of the factors that’s, I think, really at play here. It’s great having two of you in front of me because you’re both in your early 20s, and this is a writer who’s 34 and is experiencing a different thing.

You had the ability just to sort of get out of college and go right into it, which is what I was able to do, too. I know there’s such an advantage to being in your ramen days where life is cheap and you don’t actually have big expectations of things. It’s nice to just be young and hungry and write the script in a weekend because you need to get that done. You must have classmates who are starting to be frustrated by the inability to sort of get headway here. What are those conversations like and what do you find people doing?

Hannah: Close to home question. I think our advice always to everyone is find a way to do this that’s not paid because, obviously, you have to do other things to make money. You have to work a restaurant job or work an assistant job or freelance stuff, and you need to be doing those things so that you can survive. I also think if you only do that, then some people can just completely– they’re not even doing the thing that they love to do anymore because they don’t have any time to do it or they have no energy to do it.

I feel like it’s so important to be like you just have to keep doing the thing that you love and the thing that you want to do, even if it’s an improv show or a short film that you wrote and you funded yourself and you shot on an iPhone. We know people that are doing that and are making their own content for really cheap. That’s incredible. You have to keep doing that.

Danya: Hopefully people that you know that you’re friends with are, I don’t know, farther along in their careers that can watch one of your short films and be like, “Wait, that was really good. I want to send this to someone.”

Hannah: We’re also constantly sending our friends to our manager. We use our manager as our personal, “You have to help our friends get reps.” We threaten him. We’re like, “Send these people out, find someone at your company.” He’s doing the work of multiple managers because we’re like, “Now you need to go find other managers to rep our friends.”

Danya: I feel like we’ve said this to a few people, but having a writing partner, even if it’s not permanent, is so helpful because it’s someone holding you accountable. It’s like when you sign up for a workout class, you’re like, “Oh, it’s early, I’m cold, I don’t really want to go.” If Hannah’s at the workout class and I’m like, “She’s waiting for me, I got to show up, I have to go.” It’s just so much easier to do anything. I don’t know if it works for everyone, but it certainly helped us write even when we really don’t want to.

John: Going back to this question here, she’s saying that she’s working as an assistant at a production company and she feels stuck. One of the challenges is that being an assistant there, you have some access, you have some, but you’re also probably completely exhausted and your days are spent doing all this other stuff and you probably don’t come back home with a lot left in the tank to be doing other writing. As your substitute teaching jobs, they weren’t the ideal jobs, but you were saying you got done at 3:30 in the afternoon and you actually had some more time left, and you didn’t spend your whole day writing. You spent your day doing other things.

My summer that I spent between my two years at Stark working at Universal, I was just filing papers. It was completely mindless. When I came home, I had not used my brain at all and I could write at night and it was actually still possible. I would encourage this writer to look at what is the setup that she’s in right now and is it allowing her to get writing done. So often I think underneath of this is that people start to resent writing because their career isn’t happening, and really what they are sort of should be resenting is that circumstances of their life is not permitting them to spend all their time writing, and that’s reality. We have another question here from Beth.

Drew: Beth says, “I love hearing you guys talk about ways to break the inertia and moving from the thinking about writing into writing. I find it helpful and sometimes it just gives me the confidence to put pen to paper, but the one layer to this problem I don’t really hear anyone anywhere talk about is trying to overcome this obstacle when you also have ADHD. I wanted to write in and see if you come across any writers who’ve had to change their process to overcome obstacles such as this where conventional writing tips just don’t work or maybe work 50% of the time.”

John: I saw you guys exchange a look. Does that resonate with you at all?

Danya: I have that. I have ADHD. I love to word vomit on paper and then edit later because I think if you just put anything out there, even if it’s so disorganized, so bad, it feels so much better to go back and edit that than slowly write something that’s perfect. I would not get anything done if I wrote that way, and Hannah’s the opposite. Hannah has to write everything perfectly immediately. I also will do a plug. Not that this is my device, but Brick, if you are distracted by your phone, is really nice.

John: Brick is the little gizmo which you tap your phone on and it basically locks down your phone so you can’t be pulled away by it.

Danya: Yes, exactly. That’s been really helpful. I mean, not that anyone needs to be on medication, but I am on medication and it is helpful. Mostly, yes, just vomit draft. That’s the first thing that I try to do. You really have to psych yourself into it. It’s like jumping into a pool. You just have to do it. Once you start, it’s easier to keep going, and me and Hannah will do this and I know it’s not healthy to do, but we won’t pee. It’s something that is like a reward to us because any distraction is actually huge if you have ADHD.

Hannah: We won’t eat. We’ll be like, “We have to finish this and then we’re allowed to eat.”

Danya: Which that one’s really bad. Peeing is a middle ground.

Hannah: I will say also, I think having a writing partner with OCD helps as well because if it’s ever too getting off in all these random places, my brain is very much one track tunnel vision. I typically will pull back to the immediate task at hand.

Danya: Also, if you’re stuck on one thing because of the OCD person, it’s good to have someone be like, “We got to move on or else I’m going to have a freakout.”

Hannah: We keep just suggesting writing teams. It’s great.

John: Maybe a good solution for a lot of people is that both the coach, the accountability, we’re in this together, just having a buddy will help you there. Listen, ADHD is a real thing and there’s medications for it. There’s other ways to address it. I want to make sure that people aren’t using it as a wave away excuse. Writing is also just really hard. It’s uncomfortable to start writing. It is for everybody, no matter how your brain is set up. It’s just not a pleasant thing to get started doing.

I think Beth needs to take some time and try some different ways to see what is actually productive for you, what tends to work. Whether it’s done as intent to do a vomit draft, great, or as more focused, like, “I’m going to get this right the first time,” whatever it is that is actually getting words on the page for you is a solution that’s good as long as it’s overall healthy and you’re not doing other dangerous things to yourself. Give yourself some grace to understand that it’s going to be a process, a journey. Not every day is going to be fantastic, but you’ve got to– writers write. You need to find some way to actually get those words down on the page.

Danya: There’s also one other thing that just reminded me. Sometimes what we’ll do is we’ll send voice notes to each other and then you can just copy that and paste it. Even though it’s so bad and not accurate, that’s also so helpful to just have actual words on a page and then you can edit it later.

John: Yes. I’ll do the same thing. There’s a dictation program I like called Aqua Voice. It’s really good for if I’m going into a pitch and there’s things I need to talk through, I would just hit the button and just word vomit all the things I need to say in it. Then on the call, I actually have that to refer back to because it’s a practice for it and I can see the text that’s there. That’s nothing I’m going to send to somebody, but it’s just for your own purposes and it’s getting it out of your head and onto something that you can edit again or touch again if you need to. Let’s take a question from Hunter. He’s asking about taking a semester in LA.

Drew: I’m a writer and law student in Baltimore. I’ve written a few scripts and I’ve made a few connections in the business, but I recognize that I’m at the very beginning of my career and there’s a long way to go. I have an opportunity to take some law school classes at UCLA as a visiting student, which would mean spending a semester in LA. I have family I can stay with there. I can work my current job remotely, attend classes, spend the rest of my time trying to write and network. Do you guys think this is worth my time?

Danya: Absolutely.

John: Some enthusiastic nods on this side.

Danya: For sure. That sounds like you have to. It would be weird if you didn’t.

Hannah: Yes. It would be weird if you didn’t. I think being in LA is so important. A lot of things have become virtual now, and it’s a lot easier to live other places and try to make it in the industry now. It still feels like such a place where you’ll go to a coffee shop or a bar and you’ll run into someone that works in the industry and you’ll become friends with them and it’ll just be a very natural type of networking that isn’t so official and business-like if you’re living here and you’re going out with the people and you’re hanging out with the people that work here.

Danya: Yes. Also, the friends that you’re going to make in that class are going to be so helpful to you even if you don’t think so in the moment. We have gotten so many things just from friendships, whether that’s from college or just the bars, coffee shops, people you’re talking to, and also, I’ll say this, Generals. If you can go on Generals while you’re here in LA, going in person is so much better than virtual because you’re just creating a real relationship with someone versus something through a screen. It’s just not the same at all, and it’s fun to go in person. You’re getting a sense of the city, the entertainment industry.

John: We’ve been doing the podcast for 14 years now, and I would say, over the course of the 14 years, it’s never been less important to live in Los Angeles, but it still actually is really helpful. Just in terms of getting a sense of what this is like and, Hunter, you’re also getting the sense of would you even want to live in LA? You might have this fantasy of what LA is going to be like, but then you get here and it’s like, “Oh, it’s actually not what I was hoping for. It’s not a thing that I want to do.” Yes, I think you owe it to yourself to come out here and try, and a summer semester feels great.

Cool. All right, now it is time for our One Cool Things where we recommend stuff that we want our listeners to know about. I’m going to just do two quick ones here. First is Pluribus, the new series by Vince Gilligan. It’s just delightful. It’s so weird and so specific and wonderful. I’m not surprised it comes from Vince Gilligan’s brain. I’m three episodes in as we’re recording this. It’s really strange, but not– we just talked about whatever happened to weird. It’s not weird for the sake of being weird. It’s just really good and unusual and specific. Check out Pluribus. It’s on Apple TV.

Second thing is just a comfort food watching for me, which is Claire Saffitz. Claire Saffitz is a chef baker who used to be on Bon Appetit, their video channel, but now she does her own stuff at her house. The video I’ll put a link in the show notes too is she makes dirt bombs, which are basically donut holes, but done in a muffin tin. She’s just such a good baker and she has such a good quality, a joy to her cooking. Check it out. They’re approachable recipes.

The other thing she does is she does this thing where she recreates KitKat bars or something like that. She has to figure out how to make something that very closely approximates junk foods. They’re remarkably difficult. I love that she will research carefully and shows the hard work that goes into experimentation, even in the kitchen.

Drew: Oh, I love watching this.

Danya: I loved her.

John: Yes, she’s the best. Two One Cool Things, Pluribus and Claire Saffitz, basically any video that she does. What do you have for us for one cool thing?

Hannah: I have two things as well. The first one, I’m going to sound like such a kiss-ass, but–

Danya: It’s real though.

Hannah: It’s real. I recently watched Chernobyl.

John: Oh, yes. That’s a good series.

Hannah: I have since become insanely obsessed with that whole situation. I’ve bought books on the meltdown. It’s a hyper fixation now because of that show. That’s one. I’m sure everyone’s already seen it, but on the off chance, you haven’t seen it yet.

Danya: Yes, I’m three episodes in.

Hannah: If you’re like Danya and you’re wondering, I’m like, “Watch it. It’s incredible.” The second thing is–

John: It’s not that good. It’s fine. It’s whatever. I don’t know. There are things to it.

Hannah: Of course.

John: I’m struck by the fact that you watched Chernobyl and was like, “I need to know more.” I watched Chernobyl like, “I’m good. I’m full. I’m done.”

Danya: Thank you for saying that because I feel crazy. Hannah’s like, “How could you not want to buy 8,000 books and listen to podcasts and watch more?” I’m like, “Yes, I don’t–”

Hannah: There’s something about radiation that–

Danya: Really hits?

Hannah: It really hits for me. I’m absolutely fixated on it. I haven’t read the books yet, but I don’t know how they’ll live up to the show.

John: Why bother reading a book when there’s already a series made of it? You’re not going to be able to do anything with it.

Hannah: You’re right.

John: That’s why, honestly, that’s one of my worst tendencies is if I’m reading a book and then I look up and someone already has the film rights, I’ll stop reading the book. Sometimes.

Hannah: No. Well, see, that’s genuine curiosity on my end because I’m like, “I’m not going to do anything with this. I just want to know more.”

John: Yes. She’s better than all of us. All right.

Hannah: The second thing is also everybody already knows about her, Chapell Roan, but a song that I love of hers from one of her super early albums from 2020 called Love Me Anyway. It’s an incredible song. I think everyone that loves Chapell should listen to it because it was her, yes, a song before she hit it big. It still hits.

John: That’s great. Chapell Roan is such a fascinating artist because she’s clearly a super mega talent and wasn’t quite recognized for how good she was and the album tanked and then she sort of redid her vibe and became the phenomenon that she is. She’s still the same person, and the difference between Chapell Roan as the icon artist and her trying to maintain a private identity that’s separate from that. It’s all fascinating and interesting. It’s just hard to be an artist these days. Danya, what you got for us?

Danya: Okay. I have two things. I changed one of them. Being crazy. I’ll do this one first. While we were in Texas, our EPs, Rhett Bair and Dave Finkel, got us really, and by us, I mean mostly me, really into Buster Keaton. I got really obsessed with the teens of Hollywood. I was in the 19-something.
John: Very early days of film. Yes.

Danya: Exactly. There’s this book that I read that was recommended to me by them. It’s called The Parade’s Gone by Kevin Brownlow. It is such a great book. It’s around 600 pages. It does take a minute to get through. If you are at all interested in the origins of Hollywood as the entertainment industry or just Hollywood and LA history. It is so interesting and seeing who created what jokes, what stunts. Even like Mary Pickford, we went to Musso & Frank last night and we tried her Alfredo pasta. I’ve been dying to try it.

John: How was it?

Danya: It was actually delicious.

John: That’s great, because so often the legendary things are actually not that good in person.

Danya: No, this was exactly what it should have been. Yes, really recommend this book if you care about history.

John: Hunter, when Hunter comes to visit LA, if it’s necessary, should go to Musso & Frank’s because it’s an iconic place.

Danya: Yes, absolutely. The pasta is around $24.

Hannah: Split it with someone.

Danya: Split it with someone. Then the other book that I’ll recommend is called Manhunt. It’s by Gretchen Felker-Martin. It follows the aftermath of a plague that turns people with high testosterone into feral beasts. The story follows two trans women as they hunt these creatures for their, I’m sorry to be crude, balls. They’re men’s balls because that’s where they can get estrogen to prevent them from turning into these creatures themselves because they’re trans women.

There’s also TERFs that are trying to kill them. I don’t know if anyone knows what TERFs are, but they don’t believe in trans people. It’s so graphic, but so incredible. It obviously explores transphobia and survival, community, gender. It is so, so good. One of the best books I’ve read in a long time.

John: That’s great. Cool. I like that you both had two. Sometimes we were lacking for One Cool Things, and now we got six One Cool Things in one episode, which is nice. All right, and that is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro is by James Llonch. If you want an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That is also the place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. You’ll find transcripts at johnaugust.com, along with a sign up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing.

You’ll find clips and other helpful video on our YouTube. Just search for Scriptnotes and give us a follow. You’ll also find us on Instagram @ScriptnotesPodcast. We have T-shirts and hoodies and drinkwear. You’ll find us at Cotton Bureau. Most importantly, we have the Scriptnotes book, which you can find at bookstores everywhere. Those are your copies. Those are galley copies. Those are for you to take home. They have typos galore, but the real hard covers don’t have the typos in them.
You will find the show notes with the links to all the things we talked about today in the email you get each week as a premium subscriber. Thank you to all our premium subscribers. You make it possible for us to do this each and every week. You can sign up to become one at scriptnotes.net. We get all the back episodes and bonus segments, like the one we’re about to record on what movies get wrong about Gen Z. Hannah, Danya, thank you so much for being on ScriptNotes. Congratulations on KPop Demon Hunters and your career.

Danya: Thank you.

Hannah: Thank you so much.

[Bonus Segment]

John: All right. The two of you get hired on for KPop Demon Hunters and other projects because you know how young people speak because you are young people yourselves. You must see a lot of movies and TV shows and feel like, “Oh, that does not feel authentic to me.” What are some things you’re noticing that are the things that drive you crazy about how you see your generation portrayed on screens?

Hannah: The first thing off the top of my head is when you see lingo being used because obviously this thing has normally been written two years ago by the time it makes it to screen. I feel like Gen Z lingo changes every six months, like what is cool to say, what’s not cool to say. My little brother, he is always telling me that’s not cool anymore. I’m like, “Five months ago, you were saying it all the time. What do you mean it’s not cool anymore?”

I think that the way that stuff is filtered through so quickly now and lingo goes out of style immediately. Then you see it in a TV show two years from now, the thing that the kids were saying two weeks ago, or sorry, you know what I mean. I really think older writers and all writers in general, even us, should not be using the cool lingo of the moment because we’ve seen so many shows where they’re like, “That’s fire,” and, “That’s lit.” That is from truly three, four years ago. You cannot be putting stuff. It has to feel timeless, honestly.

Danya: It’s so interesting because I’m rewatching Dawson’s Creek. I watch a lot of the ’90s, 2000s, I guess, YA shows. They do the exact opposite. They have all of these kids speak as if they are philosophy majors in college. It’s just so interesting. I’m like, “What happened?”

John: That’s a Kevin Williamson thing. It was new as he was doing it.

Danya: I almost feel like that’s better because you’re not talking down to these people that you’re trying to get to watch your show. It’s almost like, I don’t know, I feel like the shows that we watch where they’re using this lingo, I’m like, “Are you making fun of them? That’s what it looks like because you’re doing it in such an inaccurate way that it comes off like that.

I also think what happens a lot is that you’re trying too hard to create content for them and you’re trying to guess what they would want versus these kids who are now watching Dawson’s Creek. They’re rewatching these classics that are not meant for them really because they just want authentic stories that are just interesting. I think trying to create something for a specific demographic is just really hard, and I would avoid that.

Hannah: Yes. I think the biggest thing is not making fun of any certain demographic because I feel like you can really tell when Gen Z is written and they’re made out to be these really flippant, dumb– I feel like it’s hard for older people to write Gen Z without being a little condescending. The only times that I feel like it works well is when they’re actually being really nice to them in terms of how they’re portrayed. I’m trying to think of shows that have done that. It’s not common. It’s normally not common to see them portrayed in a good light.

Danya: Yes. I know what you’re talking about.

John: Clueless is one of my favorite movies. I think one of the bad lessons you can learn from Clueless is that all teenagers speak with this very heightened, incredibly both erudite but overwhelmed with specific in-group lingo. It works so well in Clueless because it’s just masterfully done, but to try to do that in other things, it’s going to fall apart. It’s just not how actual human beings speak in a normal way. Either trying to, you’re saying, use lingo vernacular that’s going to be dated incredibly quickly, disaster, or try to create this fever bubble of how people speak. In most situations, this is not going to work.

Hannah: Oh, that made me think. The one that I’ve seen do so well, even though they were using lingo and stuff, is Eighth Grade.

John: Oh, yes. For sure.

Hannah: So good. I don’t know how he did that. I guess it was a bit of a period piece. He was saying, “This was the lingo of this time period. It’s not current anymore,” which I think if you’re going to do it, that’s how you have to do it. You have to do it like 10 15, where it’s like, this is what it was like during this time period, but it’s not current anymore.

Danya: I feel like comedians do a good job of that because of the style now, which is so observational in a really intense way, more so than ever, that I’m like, unless you are paying that much attention and absorbing how they speak, then you can’t really comment on it because it is so niche. It’s really hard to get right.

John: I would also say I get frustrated by broad stereotypes of, “Oh, a Gen Z person is like this,” in terms of how they address authority figures, what they do. It’s true that there are some generational differences in terms of how groups interact with each other, and there’s weird conflicts between millennials and Gen Zs and all those kinds of things, but every character is a specific individual character. That logic behind why they’re doing things should make sense, no matter where they started.

Gen Z is the first generation who grew up not just with the internet, but also with phones, constantly being able to access things. I think I’ve noticed is that sometimes older writers will have the wrong assumptions about how often kids will reach out to their parents or reach out to other people. The sort of constant communication, I have a daughter who’s 20, and that sense of always being on and being connected with people. That is a different thing than a previous generation. That sense of you could be independent but still always be in contact with your tribe is such a different experience.

Danya: Yes, completely agree with that.

Hannah: Yes. I think that’s another thing is that a lot of Gen Z, honestly, aren’t on their phones as much as I think is portrayed in media. There’s so many different ages of Gen Z, too. It’s like you can’t group all of Gen Z into one type of person because there’s the Zillennials and there’s the baby, baby Gen Zs. I feel like the phone thing is such a common trope. I also feel like some Gen Zs are going against the phone and wanting to go back to flip phones and iPods and cameras. What are they? The point-and-shoot digital cameras. Yes, I feel like it’s always going in a circle.

John: Think about the dialogue you’ve written for your movies. When you’ve come in to do a pass on younger characters, what are some things you’re seeing in those dialogue blocks? You’re like, “Oh, let’s actually turn that back.” Are you doing anything different about how characters are talking over each other, how they’re interrupting, the politeness and permission they’re giving each other? Is there any general patterns you’re noticing that after you’ve done your pass on things, it reads a little differently because of choices?

Danya: I feel like we haven’t done a pass in a while.

John: To your Diner script. Your Diner script is raunchy young women. Is there anything about that script that you think is specific to this generation where if it was made 10 years before this or 20 years ago, it would read a lot different?

Hannah: I think one of the biggest things is we really don’t like trauma porn. I think that that might be an older thing, maybe, if I’m trying to find a pattern. I think that something that maybe is Gen Z or younger is that a lot of the stuff that we write, our people are in really serious, intense situations, but they have some levity around it. They’re making jokes around it or they’re very self-aware of themselves and the situation and are trying to be optimistic even if it is a really rough situation that previous writers maybe would have shown in a very dark, depressing light.

Danya: Yes, I think that’s true.

John: I think, and this is a cliche but also has an element of truth to it, is that Gen Z individuals, they’re aware of themselves as a brand or at least how they’re putting themselves out in the world. They have a concern about reputation and presentation that is specific to the area in which they grew up in.

The curation, again, I don’t want to minimize everything that everyone’s on their phones, but the idea of curating your identity, being very measured about what you’re putting on the grid versus what you’re putting on stories, that’s probably something you can think about in terms of how the characters are responding as well, too, in terms of what they’re sharing at work versus what they’re sharing with their friends, that those tensions are always natural.

Hannah: Yes. Honestly, I don’t know if we’ve written something. A lot of the stuff that we write is almost in a different reality to where I’m trying to think of the times that we’ve actually had phones and social media in our scripts. It’s not actually that often.

Danya: It’s not. I think we try to be true to technology. It’s there. We use it.

John: I came up with 100. It exists and the phones are a thing, but you’re also finding reasons for why people are interacting face-to-face because it’s better for the movies.

Danya: Yes. I think we’ve used FaceTime before, kind of a cheat.

Hannah: Yes. Anything that can be as visual as possible. I feel like I’m trying to think of what– when we used to do those youth passes and we’d go in and you’d see what was written for the young characters, I feel like we would literally just take out anything that felt like it was lingo. Anything that was like–

Danya: Some jokes were old, if you could believe that. Jokes themselves were like, “Wait, what? This is like–“

John: Nicole Perlman has a term called the clam, which she may have told you about, which is basically a joke that just sits there as a joke. It doesn’t do anything. It’s just a clam.

Danya: There was also, I can’t remember if this was from one of our roundtables, but I think there was a misconception of physical comedy being dead. We’re like, “It is so alive. It’s crazy how alive it is.” I remember the men being shocked that we were like, “We need to add more of that.”

Hannah: That’s true. I think that might be actually a common misconception about Gen Z is that a lot of the comedy is dialogue-heavy, really talky-talky, quick, banter.

Danya: It’s like Gilmore Girls-esque, fast. You’re just like, “What’s happening? It’s too much.” I do think, perfect for Gilmore Girls, not for me.

Hannah: Yes, I think that we do like Naked Gun and dumb Talladega Nights and Hot Rod and all those movies that are really dumb, dumb comedy.

John: If you look at the comedy that’s coming out of Los Angeles, the clown tradition is a real big thing right now. Again, it’s a thing you need to be there in person to see that’s a special kind of quality that feels real and tactile, which is the opposite of sort fake digital stuff, which may be part of the reason why it’s doing so well. Thank you guys again. It was great talking with you.

Danya: Oh, thank you so much for having us.

Hannah: Thank you. We had so much fun.

John: Great.

Links:

  • Danya Jimenez and Hannah McMechan
  • KPop Demon Hunters on Netflix
  • No Strings Attached
  • The Black List x Women in Film Episodic Lab
  • Nicole Perlman on Scriptnotes, episodes 164, 222, 373, 381
  • Brick
  • Pluribus on Apple TV
  • Claire Saffitz makes Dirt Bombs
  • The Parade’s Gone By by Kevin Brownlow
  • Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin
  • Chernobyl on HBO Max
  • Chappell Roan – Love Me Anyway
  • Preorder the Scriptnotes Book!
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Become a Scriptnotes Premium member, or gift a subscription (now with fewer emails!)
  • Subscribe to Scriptnotes on YouTube
  • Scriptnotes on Instagram
  • John August on Bluesky and Instagram
  • Outro by James Llonch (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 712: Something Wicked This Way Comes, Transcript

November 18, 2025 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hey, this is John. Standard warning for people who are in the car with their kids: there’s some swearing in this episode.

[music]

John: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to Episode 712 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show, we welcome back one of our favorite guests and guest hosts.

Craig: Yes.

John: Dana Fox is a writer and showrunner whose credits include, taking a breath here, What Happens in Vegas, Couples Retreat, Ben and Kate, How to Be Single, Cruella, Home Before Dark, The Lost City, Wicked, and the upcoming Wicked: For Good. She’s also my former assistant and one of my very favorite people. Welcome back, Dana Fox.

Craig: Ta-da.

Dana Fox: John and Craig are my favorite people. I have to say it right away. Get it out of my system.

John: We’re recording this in our office on a very rainy day. Behind you is the couch, which you would often take naps on.

Dana: I assume you were going to have it bronzed, but it’s just the same couch. It’s still here.

John: The same couch. Lambert is now taking a nap on your couch.

Dana: I saw it, and I had a Pavlovian response to it. The second I saw it, I thought I was going to fall asleep on it.

Craig: The gravity just takes you in, and you just want to lie down and not work.

Dana: Hold me towards it and made me disappoint John because I wasn’t awake to answer his phone.

Craig: Look at you now.

Dana: It’s because he let me nap that I think I did so well in the business.

Craig: [laughs] Okay. Well, something has to explain it.

Dana: I just needed to sleep a little bit. I was so tired. I needed to prep.

John: Look at you now with those headphones on. As Craig said, you do look like Princess Leia.

Dana: Thanks, guys.

Craig: Exactly like Obi-Wan, you’re our only hope, Princess Leia, because you’re wearing a Princess Leia–

Dana: She was a real hero of mine, so thank you for that. I really wanted to be her.

John: Carrie Fisher, of course. Incredible.

Dana: Oh my God, she’s incredible, and the most amazing writer.

John: Did you ever meet her?

Dana: No, I never did. I would have lost my mind.

John: I went to a birthday party for a friend that was at her house. She was exactly as cool and weird as you would want her to be.

Dana: A dream.

John: A dream. An absolute dream.

Craig: Nice.

John: Today, with you on the show, I do want to talk about Wicked, obviously. I also want to talk about character suffering, whether the ’90s were really a great movie decade, or whether this is all just our nostalgia. We’ll get into that.

Dana: Amazing. Am I the character who’s suffering or characters that I write?

John: You will be. There’s a listener question about character suffering.

Dana: Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about me. I was like, “I’m now suffering.”

John: Well, we’ll get into suffering because in our bonus segment, I want to talk about the promo circuit because you’re on the promo circuit right now, and Craig’s been through the promo circuit. It’s just exhausting.

Dana: It’s intense. I’m really tired.

John: It’s a mark of success that you have to do the promo circuit, but it’s just it’s a lot.

Dana: Yes, and you became a writer because you enjoy pajamas and glasses and never doing your hair, and then you’re on–

John: Not being looked at, basically.

Dana: Never having a single person look at your face.

Craig: Yes. That’s my favorite thing in the world.

Dana: Craig, that is the best thing in the entire world. Then you’re on the promo circuit and all the wrong things are happening. People are looking directly at your face.

John: Sitting next to you is the Scriptnotes book, the Hardcovers, which just came in. We’re so excited to hold them. Craig, have you gotten yours up in Canada yet?

Craig: I have not received it in Canada yet. I don’t even know if you guys have my address in Canada.

Dana: You guys, it’s so beautiful. I can’t wait to read it. It’s so gorgeous. Just to say, if I may, John and Craig are the people that I call whenever I don’t know how to do anything. I’m always like, “Hey, guys, I’m sorry.” Let’s say I started with a voiceover, and then I have to do a fade-in. “Where does fade in go on the page?” Nobody knows. It all looks weird.”

John: Basically, non-creative questions then.

Dana: No, that’s not true. I call you guys with every question I have. Now I just have the book, so there’s no excuse that I’m not allowed to call you anymore. I have to look at the book.

Craig: It’s true. Dana sometimes calls. She’s like, “But is 1 also a prime number?” It doesn’t even have to be about screenwriting. It’s about anything.

Dana: It doesn’t even have to be about screenwriting. Totally.

John: One of the goals with the Scriptnotes book, as you remember, is that we wanted a book that if you were to throw it across the room, you could hurt a person. I’ll say that the book has some sharp edges to it, which is nice, but it’s actually lighter than I’d expect. Isn’t it lighter in your hand?

Dana: It’s looking wild. It looks like a trompe-l’oeil. Is it a cake? You know that show?

Craig: Absolutely. It looks like it could be cake.

Dana: Is it cake?

John: It could be cake.

Dana: Yes, because you pick it up and it’s like, “Ooh, no problem,” but it looks substantial.

John: If you throw it in your backpack, it’s not weighing you down, but it is a substantial book. Also, it lies flat, which I didn’t know was going to happen, but actually it’s nice.

Craig: Oh.

John: You can actually open up it.

Dana: [gasps] You’re right. I’m doing it. Reader or listener, I’m doing it. This is great.

Craig: You called the podcast listeners readers.

Dana: I don’t know how to do this, you guys. I’m so bad at stuff. I called my phone the internet before to John. I said, I just kept pointing at it and going, “I have to internet it later.” He was like, “What is happening with you?”

Craig: Oh, Dana Fox.

Dana: I love you guys.

John: Thank you to everybody who sent in the pre-order receipts to Drew at askajohnaugust.com, because we love those and they’re a way for us to know how many people are actually buying the book. This past week, Drew, you sent all those folks a bonus chapter. How did that go?

Drew: Really well. People were really nice about it and sent glowing emails back, which felt nice to read.

Dana: I’m going to do a thing. Am I allowed to say this?

John: Please.

Dana: I’m going to do a thing on my ‘internet’, which is my phone, on Instagram. My handle is @inthehenhouse. I’m going to give away 20 copies. I’m going to send them to people.

Craig: What? Really?

Dana: To young people, students. If you’re a student, if you’re trying to be a writer, I want to send you one of these books because these men, Craig and John, are the greatest people of all time, that they’ve spent their time trying to help other writers be better. They believe ‘rising tides raises all boats’, and they’re generous with their time. I love them. I want to send 20 books to whoever needs one.

John: Fantastic.

Craig: I have never felt anything doing this podcast until this moment.

Dana: DM me on my internet.

Craig: I’m having feelings.

Dana: Are you having feelings, Craig?

Craig: I’m having feelings. That was beautiful. Thank you.

Dana: It’s the least I could do. I just think you guys are amazing.

Craig: That’s very sweet, and it’s very generous of you, unless you’re stealing the books. If you’re stealing the books, it’s not generous.

Dana: No. I’m buying the books and giving them away.

Craig: Oh, okay. That is generous.

John: The bonus chapter we sent out is on getting stuff written. It was a chapter that was originally going to be in the book, and the book was just 600 pages, so we had to make some beautiful cuts [unintelligible 00:05:46]. We cleaned it up, we’ve formatted it nicely, and we sent it to all the people who had pre-ordered the book and sent the receipts in.

Dana: It’s amazing.

John: We’re still going to send it out. If you pre-order it now, we will send it to you. Drew will send it to you today. If you want this bonus chapter, it turned out really well.

Dana: Great. I’ll take the bonus chapter. Can I get some bonus chapter later?

Craig: Absolutely.

John: She needs to get some stuff written. One of the questions we get frequently is, are Craig and I going to do the audiobook, or are we going to read the audiobook for the Scriptnotes book? The answer is hell no. We are not doing that. That is a job left to a professional.

Dana: Correct.

John: I’m so excited to introduce the professional who actually did read the Scriptnotes book.

Craig: Woohoo.

John: Graham Rowat is an actor, a narrator whose talents span Broadway stages, television screens, audiobook recordings. You’ve seen him on Broadway in Dear Evan Hansen, Sunset Boulevard, Mamma Mia!, Guys and Dolls, Beauty and the Beast. He’s also a friend and a longtime Scriptnotes listener. Graham Rowat, welcome officially to The Scriptnotes podcast.

Graham Rowat: Thank you for having me.

Dana: Listen to that deep voice, guys.

Craig: You can hear the Broadway right in there.

Dana: Listen to–

Graham: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Craig: It’s so good.

Graham: [chuckles]

Craig: So good.

Dana: Get out of here. Your advice just got better. Everything you guys wrote in the book is better. Just look at that.

John: Come on, the gravitas of that?

Dana: Intense.

Craig: These shows that you’ve been in, just one great show after another. Congratulations. That’s amazing.

Dana: I know. Incredible.

Graham: I thought to myself, I know John gets to Broadway shows. How about the other guests on the pod today? Does anyone get to see Broadway that often?

Dana: Funny story.

Craig: Not as often as I’d like to. I live in Los Angeles, and now I live in Canada.

Graham: For sure.

Craig: I do see shows pretty frequently once they make their way to the Pantages or something like that, or I go to the bowl. I went for Jesus Christ Superstar, and I went for Into the Woods.

Craig: That’s great.

Graham: I love a show.

Dana: That’s great.

Graham: What can I say?

Dana: I love a show.

Graham: I love a show.

John: We mostly love that your voice is our book because when the topic of the audiobook came up and Graham graciously asked, “Hey, do you or Craig want to do it?” It was like, “Oh, it’ll be like four days in a recording studio.” You’re like, “Absolutely not.”

Dana: No.

John: I wanted somebody to do the book who knew the show, knew the voice of the show, had a sense of what this was like. I asked Graham who would do it, and they figured out how to make a deal for Graham to do it. Graham, I’m curious, what is it like to record this? Because the book is not Craig and I back and forth. It’s just, it’s a we voice behind it. What is your process? What is your instinct going into try to read this book?

Graham: Well, the first thing I did was I wanted to listen to every one of the episodes that featured the guests that are quoted in the chapters. It’s tricky because I want to find a neutral voice, but I hear you and Craig when I’m reading the book. There are distinct moments, too. There’s a chapter, the Die Hard chapter, where it is the two of you having a discussion.

Craig: Yes, it’s true.

Graham: The neutral voice is pretty much me. That’s always the easiest thing to work from and go back to. Then, when the two of you step out and actually are John and Craig, for example, there’s Craig’s whole chapter where he presents his approach to screenwriting, I tried to stay true to the Craig persona.

Here’s the thing: it’s a matter of very subtle changes because one of the very first things they teach you when you’re learning the old audiobook stuff is that anything too broad, that’s what the audience is going to be listening to, especially accents. They’re going to be sitting there thinking, “I don’t think that’s a very good accent.”

Dana: You decided not to do the Australian accent for Craig?

Graham: I didn’t. I gave him sort of the Maverick Ed McMahon energy.

Craig: Nice. Good.

Dana: Hot. Yes, sexy.

Craig: Not hot, no. McMahon, no.

Dana: Oh, I thought what the Ed McMahon energy was. I always thought it was really sexy.

Graham: No, young Ed McMahon. A real young, dashing Ed McMahon.
[laughter]

John: Graham, a question for you. We’re talking about the chapters that are interspersed with all the subject chapters are interview chapters. Greta Gerwig and Christopher Nolan, for example, we try to do a light edit on them so you can still feel their voice and how they speak. What was it like for you to figure out how to make them sound on that? They read differently on the page, so how was it actually articulating those?

Graham: Thankfully, and listening to the episodes and listening to the interviews allowed me to have an image in my head so that when I got to Greta’s chapter, I could make a very slight adjustment vocally. It’s more about the conversational tone that was a part of their interviews. If I can inject? A little bit of a more casual conversational tone in their chapters, I feel like that makes it more distinct. If I am doing a Greta, I have her in my head because I’d listen to her, so if I make a slight pitch adjustment and I just make it a little more casual, I feel like I’m doing her justice, and I’m making enough of a shift away from the neutral narrator.

Christopher Nolan was the tricky one because he’s the very first one up. I thought if he had been ninth or tenth in your list of guests and I’d reached him, I probably could have gotten away with a very subtle English accent. I think the listener would have been okay with that because they’d be like, “Well, he’s used up all the other textures. We can give him a break.” But because he was the first one up, I had a conversation with the producer when I recorded this; he was Chris [unintelligible 00:11:14] was patched in from Texas. I said, “Should we do it?” and we came down on the side of not doing an accent for Christopher Nolan.

Craig: I think that’s fair. I think it’s a smart idea, given the fact that it starts it off because some people who haven’t heard Christopher Nolan speak might think, “Oh, this entire thing is going to be read in an English accent.” Also, Christopher’s brother Jonah has no English accent.

Graham: It’s so fascinating how different they are.

Craig: I feel like the Nolan family, you’re allowed to do either English or American. You’re fine.

Graham: That’s a relief.

Craig: Yes, you’re good. They won’t be coming after you.

John: Well, Graham, we are so, so, so appreciative that you did the book. Thank you so much for reading it. For folks who want to hear Graham read it, it’s December 2nd, just like the main book is out. It’s available everywhere. It should be on Audible, but every place you can buy audiobooks will have it.

Dana: I have 42 Audible credits I need to spend. I’m going to use one of them on this.

John: This is the perfect thing. It’s also going to be fun for people who’ve listened to the whole show to hear our words and just a different person saying it, which is great.

Dana: Different way.

Craig: Love it.

Dana: That’s so great. I’m so excited. There’s no one I trust more for advice about screenplay writing than you guys. This is amazing that you’ve done this book.

Craig: Thank you, Dana. Whatever content we provided, plus Graham’s magically resonant voice, should be very effective. Everyone should write better after this. We don’t know what else to do, honestly.

John: Graham, thank you. Thank you so much.

Dana: Thank you. Nice to meet you.

Graham: It was my pleasure. Thank you so much.

Craig: Thank you, Graham.

Graham: Take care.

Dana: That’s a chill voice right there, man.

Craig: It’s a good voice.

Dana: My thing is I usually listen to voices like that to go to bed at night. I’m having an ‘all right, all right’ moment from just talking to him. I’m ready to snooze it up on that couch over there.

John: Do you listen to any of those sleepcasts where they just talk about nonsense that just goes on, it just melts away?

Dana: Yes, 100%. I like a little patter. I like a sleep timer, and then boom, I’m out.

John: We have some follow-up to get to. Drew, could you start us off with some follow-up?

Drew Marquardt: Martin writes, “I recently listened to John’s appearance on the Birbiglia podcast, and I was fascinated by his method of writing his screenplays in Las Vegas hotels. I wonder if John is aware that this technique of literary production was invented and/or perfected by one of the most successful writers of all time, Agatha Christie. I saw an image making the rounds last year, clearly a scan of an actual book, but I don’t know what book. The quote is attributed to an author named Christiana Brand, and here is the quote.

‘Agatha Christie once described to me her own particular method of getting down to work. She mulled over a book in her mind until it was ready. She said, ‘Well, we all do that.’ She would then repair to a very bad hotel. In a bad hotel, there was nothing to do but to write and plenty of time to do it in. The beds were so uncomfortable that you had no inclination to retire early or to get up late. The armchair’s so unyielding that you wasted not a minute in idle relaxation. The meals were so bad that there was no temptation to linger over them.
Any guests who would put up with such conditions must, of necessity, be so stupid that you couldn’t possibly make friends and spend precious moments in desultory chat. The book would be done in a matter of weeks, and you could pack up a few dull clothes, which were all you needed to bother to take with you and go off triumphantly home.'”

John: Dana Fox, this thing of me writing in hotel rooms, I think I did that while you were my assistant. Was I ever faxing you pages? Do you remember that?

Dana: 100%. A fax machine was involved at some point. I think, also, you did a thing involving trains at one point.

John: I took the train from LA to Seattle and wrote on the train, and then I faxed stuff back from the train. I’m not surprised that Agatha Christie has written this, except that this last April, I was in Aswan, Egypt, where she wrote Death on the Nile, and I was at the hotel where she wrote Death on the Nile. It was the Old Cataract Hotel. By the way, it is a luxury hotel.

Dana: Yes, she’s full of shit.

John: Maybe at this point, she was actually like-

Dana: The armchair was amazing. The desultory conversations occurred constantly.

John: We were able to tour the room where she wrote it. It’s like a three-room thing with a walk-in closet.

Dana: Fantastic.

John: Then a patio. So she’s kind of flying.

Dana: Yes. [chuckles] It’s kind of amazing.

John: That’s what I’m hearing.

Craig: Thank you for writing in about this. I’m not surprised that Agatha Christie has done this. Let’s move on to follow up on weirdness. Mike has a recommendation for a good, weird movie.

Drew: “You Want Weird? Friendship from Andrew DeYoung. My wife called it the worst movie she’s ever seen. I thought it was brilliant. We’re still married.”

John: I really liked Friendship, by the way. It should have been one of my One Cool Things. It’s a movie with Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd. It is just really, really strange in a way that I loved.

Dana: I remember seeing that and thinking, “I’m going to like that,” and then never seeing–

John: You’re going to watch it on the plane when you fly home?

Dana: That’s right. That’s a plane movie.

John: It’s a plane movie.

Dana: I like to cry on planes, too. Can I cry in that or not?

John: No. You will laugh and feel unnerved.

Craig: You can cry.

Dana: I like to cry, if possible.

Craig: At the end, if you feel like a good cry, just force it out. It’s funny.

Dana: Just force it out of you.

Craig: We were on a plane recently and–

Dana: Yes, we were on a plane recently.

Craig: I feel once we stopped talking to each other, we started to cry.

Dana: My daughter, who is 11, bought me a sweatshirt because she knows how much I like to sleep. I feel like this is the only thing I’ve talked about on this podcast is sleeping. She bought me this sweatshirt. It’s called ‘Comfrt’ but it’s missing a letter-

John: Of course, it has to be.

Dana: -because you couldn’t name it that.

Craig: ‘Comfrt’.

Dana: ‘Comfrt’. It’s so soft. Then you put the hoodie over your head, and you pull down an eye mask that’s inside the hoodie that clutches to your face. I was like, “Charlotte, this is crazy. I can’t wear this. It’s hot pink. I’m like an adult woman. This is crazy.” It’s got zippers all over for all sorts of things. It’s extraordinary.

John: Yes, life-change [unintelligible 00:16:50] [crosstalk]

Dana: Literally, there’s never been a better. It was absolutely life-changing. I’m asleep inside of it. I wake up, and I whip up my little eye things. I see Craig Mazin standing in front of me, going, “Dana Fox, what are you doing here on this plane?” We talked for so long on the plane. It was adorable. Everybody around us got involved in us. It was very cute.

Craig: You know what? You looked like a cute little Jawa.

Dana: Thank you.

Craig: Now you’re Princess Leia. Then you were a little Jawa.

Dana: I’m doing the whole series. I’m doing all of Star Wars.

Craig: If you want adorable, find Dana Fox in her slanket on a plane.

Dana: It’s pretty slankety. I tried to sell it to your wife. I was like, “I get kickbacks on every sale.”

Craig: I’m buying her one. I’m buying her a slanket.

Dana: It’s amazing. I was going to get it for you, but I learned about Craig that he doesn’t like sweatshirts that don’t have zippers. Good talk.

Craig: I need the pull-down. I can’t be trapped.

Dana: You need to get in and out of it that way. Are you the same way?

John: Yes. I really like a zip-up hoodie.

Dana: Are you claustrophobic at all?

John: Not especially. A sweater’s fine. I don’t like a pull-over sweatshirt.

Dana: Interesting. I don’t have many pullover sweatshirts either, unless they have an open neck, in which case I’m fine because I know I can escape.

Craig: That’s what you needed to know about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

John: Let’s just cut right to the heart of the matter. Let’s get right onto the craft and do some follow-up on cuck chairs.

Dana: What’s that?

Craig: Oh, cuck chairs.

John: In episode 710, we were discussing cuck chairs. I’m not even quite sure how we got to the–

Dana: That sounds like a swear word, like 100%.

John: Again, this is why we have a not safe for work warning on this episode. The cuck chair is the chair next to the bed for when the husband has another man sleeping with his wife, so he can watch a cuckolding.

Dana: It’s like an intentional cuckolding.

John: Yes. The cuckold sits in the cuck chair.

Dana: Oh, God.

John: You know the standard corner of the hotel room chair.

Dana: Yes, but the fact that it happens so much in this story that there’s a whole chair for it, as if so many intentional cuckolding situations where people are accepting the cuckolding is happening.

Craig: I got to say, this is a very popular thing.

Dana: Is it really? No, stop it.

Craig: No, no. The cuck chair itself, I don’t know if that’s particularly– This whole cuckolding thing, it’s massive.

Dana: I literally cannot think of anything I would like less than all of this. I have always wanted to be the kind of gal that gets invited into a three-way. I have had so many people invite whoever I’m with into the three-way in front of me without me. They’re like, I would love to take your boyfriend or husband into a three-way with me and mine. I’m like, “I’m standing right here.” I think they can tell I would be very annoying, and I would want to talk the whole time.

Craig: What? No.

Dana: Nothing sexy. I’d be like, “You guys, this seems complicated. I feel like we’re going to all have feelings later that we need to talk about.”

Craig: Actually, it feels to me like the cuck chair might be made for you because it’s not a three-way. You’re not involved.

John: No, so you’re just watching.

Craig: You’re just watching.

Dana: I’m the husband in the chair? Oh, okay.

Craig: Or the wife.

Dana: Well, then, all right. Maybe. Honestly, maybe.

John: You could [unintelligible 00:19:49] have enough.

Craig: You could spend your Audible things.

Dana: Can I put the little eye mask over my face while it’s happening so I don’t have to watch it?

Craig: If you’re not watching, is it really cuckolding?

Dana: I would like to hear it, honestly. Just not see it.

Craig: Oh, that’s fun.

Dana: I feel like that would be sexier.

John: I’m not sure if I mentioned it, as we first discussed in episode 710, but there is a great episode of Decoder Ring, which is specifically about the cuckold chair and cuckolding in general, which goes back to the history of where it came from in Elizabethan times to now, it’s where it all came from. We have some more specific follow-up, including previous guests who’ve done work in this area. Drew, help us out.

Drew: Yes, comedian Sarah Schafer is selling miniature cuck chairs. It’s not inflatable like we talked about, but I still feel like she beat us to the punch.

Dana: I love her. I’ve met her.

John: She makes miniature models, so she makes a miniature hotel cuck chair. We also talked about on episode 710–

Dana: How is this a thing, guys?

John: -that my other company needed to make an inflatable cuck chair. You just put it there when you need it, but when you don’t need it, you can just put it away.

Dana: You have a company that makes sex stuff?

John: No, not at all. I said we would never do that.

Dana: Oh, okay. I thought you said ‘my other company’ has to make it, like my already established sex chair company.

Craig: John has an entire sex toy company that he hasn’t mentioned.

Dana: I thought that’s what you were saying. It didn’t seem like that far of a stretch. I was like, “Oh, he does technology and sex chairs and stuff.”

Craig: It does seem like a stretch, Dana. It’s a stretch.

John: It’s a stretch. We do have Scriptnotes barware.

Dana: Okay, that’d be cool.

John: It turns out, on Amazon, we found two inflatable chairs that feel exactly right for this purpose. We’ll put the links in the show notes there. Craig, do you want to click through and see these? This is one inflatable chair. You see, it looks like a side chair at a hotel, but it has a logo on it.

Dana: You can carry it in the bag.

John: Absolutely.

Dana: Nobody has to know. Did I ever tell you about the time I checked into a hotel, the only time I’ve ever changed my room? Because I don’t think I’m good enough to get into a hotel room and change it, and say like, “This isn’t good enough for me. I need a better room.” I don’t believe I deserve that. One time, I checked into a room and I opened the minibar and there was a half-eaten sandwich and an open box of suppository laxatives.

Craig: No, you’ve got to move.

Dana: I was like, “I got to go.” I was like, “I love you. I can’t. I support whatever happened here. I’m open to it, but I got to go.”

Craig: Did you write the scene, though? That’s a great scene prompt. Half a sandwich, laxatives. What went wrong here?

Dana: I think you guys should make your listeners write it because I couldn’t figure out what had happened. It was like a murder scene.

Craig: Sandwich and laxatives at the same time?

Dana: To me, it was the sandwich that was so confusing. It was a half-sannie. Anyway, why are you eating if you’re sopped up?

Craig: Yes, that’s the one that’s really tripping me up. Well, I got to tell you, John, you found a great product here if you’re a cuckold. The only issue, as I can see, is that the recommended maximum weight capacity is 200 pounds. I got to figure a lot of cucks are going to be two-plus.

John: If you pop the cuck chair, that’s extra humiliating, right?

Dana: That might work for the person who wants to be in the cuck chair.

John: I think the second choice may actually be better because this is the inflatable beanless beanbag chair. Besides the bed, it’s pretty humiliating to be sitting in that. It’s loaded around.

Dana: Honestly, it looks pretty nice to me. I think it looks comfortable, no?

John: It’s also max weight 200.

Craig: Again, there’s a gap in the market.

John: Yes, for plus-size cuckolds.

Dana: Built-in possibility for humiliation seems actually in line with the cuckold chair, so it sort of feels like it works.

Craig: You know what? God bless everyone, by the way. If that’s what you’re into and everybody’s cool with it, who cares? I don’t care.

Dana: That’s how I feel. Do your thing, man. Get your sandwich in your cuck chair, and another thing, and you just eat half the sandwich.

John: 100%

Craig: You just have to recognize. I think it’s fair to acknowledge, we don’t king shame. Some kinks are innately amusing. That doesn’t mean we’re degrading you.

Dana: No, we’re happy for you that you found a thing that you like.

Craig: We’re not even laughing at you. It’s just the concept is funny. It just is. It’s funny.

John: Let’s bring it back to a more wholesome moment here. We have some follow-up here from Carrie.

Drew: Carrie says, “I wanted to thank John and Craig for being such calming voices. My dog absolutely hates riding in the car. She’ll often tremble the moment she gets in. However, I’ve found that if I have Scriptnotes on, she’s much less likely to be upset and instead settles for mild discomfort. The moment I get in the car with her, I turn on Scriptnotes, and if an episode ends while I’m driving, I’ll immediately rewind and keep listening. If I don’t, the moment it ends, she starts to huddle in the back seat. While I’d like to thank them for their invaluable writing advice, I also thank them for their pup whisperer skills.”

Dana: That’s really sweet.

Craig: Do you know, ‘settles for a mild discomfort’ is probably what the person with half a sandwich and the laxatives is thinking.
[laughter]

Dana: In the cuck chair.

Craig: Yes, in the cuck chair.

Dana: That’s actually amazing. Also, how sweet is that?

Craig: How sweet.

John: That’s really nice.

Dana: You guys, you have nice pup voices.

Craig: We have nice pup– Yes.

Dana: I believe this. You guys are really good dudes. Pups love you. Pups know you.

Craig: I’ll tell you, my dogs do not like driving around. Cookie does the same thing. She’s very trembly. Real me is talking, and that doesn’t seem to do anything at all. Maybe it’s John.

Dana: Not even podcast me. It’s just actual me.

Craig: Actual me does nothing.

Dana: Oh.

Craig: Oh.

John: All right. Enough banter before we get started. It’s the key topic here. Dana, congratulations on Wicked.

Dana: Thank you.

Craig: Woo.

John: Wicked 1 and now Wicked 2. This was a long journey.

Dana: Ooph. Yes.

John: Let’s briefly recap what the history of Wicked is. Obviously, there was once upon a time, The Wizard of Oz. It was a book. Then it was a movie. There was a book by Gregory Maguire called Wicked, which sold to Marc Platt, who wanted to do it as a Broadway show first. It is a Broadway show, correct?

Dana: No.

John: Tell me what I got wrong there.

Dana: I believe the idea was to make it into a movie without music.

Craig: Yes.

Dana: They started it as that. I’m pretty sure they maybe even had scripts. Then Marc left. He was running Universal at the time.

Craig: He was, yes.

Dana: He went to be a producer. He said, “The one project I want is Wicked.” He took Wicked. It was Stephen Schwartz that convinced him that Wicked needed music because, inherently, The Wizard of Oz was so musical. It was crazy to do this idea without music.

John: Yes, makes sense.

Dana: Thankfully, Stephen Schwartz convinced him to make it a Broadway musical first. Universal, weirdly, always owned it because they had originally bought it to make it into a movie. They owned part of the rights to the play. Then they made it as a musical first.

John: That’s right. The musical that Stephen Schwartz wrote the music for and Winnie Holzman did the stage play for was a massive hit. I remember seeing a pre– I was on Broadway but pre-opening with Kristin Chenoweth and-

Craig: Idina Menzel.

John: -Idina Menzel. It was great. You could tell this is going to become a thing. It did become a thing.

Dana: It almost felt redefining, I think, too, in terms of what Broadway was doing at the time. It felt almost part movie, part musical in the sense that it had a big hook.

John: Stephen Schwartz is a Broadway legend.

Dana: A genius. The greatest.

John: You’re talking about Pippin. To have somebody like Stephen Schwartz take something that could be a little bit more in the Disney commercial zone for what Broadway sometimes does, to just do this whole other weird thing that was very original in its own way. The whole thing about Wicked is, it’s not The Wizard of Oz, really at all. It’s such an original show and so weird. It’s a weird show with incredible music.

Dana: Oh, geniuses. A lot of them.

John: Talking story, the stage version makes huge changes from the book. The central concepts come through, but it feels really, really different in story and how stuff is structured. Correct?

Dana: Yes. I never read the book-

John: What?

Dana: -which turned out to be a bit of a mistake because I told my 12-year-old he could read it. Apparently, no way, no.

Craig: No. No.

Dana: Not a great idea. He was like, “Mom, some intense sex stuff happened in this book.” I was like, “Yes, I don’t know what it’s about, but I’ve heard it’s amazing.”

Craig: I don’t know about that.

Dana: The extraordinary Winnie Holzman and Stephen Schwartz got together and took the main idea from it, which they thought was so brilliant, which was like, “What if this story that you knew and you absolutely were positive you knew everything about it, what if the bad guy was not who you thought they were? What if the person that was good was maybe not actually as good as you thought they were? Let’s see what that story looks like.”

John: What if they were best friends?

Dana: What if they were best friends? Interestingly, actually, Winnie told me the other day, which I’d never heard before, originally, Glinda wasn’t actually that big of a part. It was in meeting Kristin Chenoweth and becoming obsessed with Kristin Chenoweth that they decided that it had to be a true two-hander, which I had never heard before. That was pretty interesting.

John: All these things that seem inevitable were not inevitable at the genesis of this.

Dana: Absolutely.

John: It’s that process of discovery. The stage show is a huge hit, tours the world, a bunch of different languages. We all know it and love it, but eventually we’re going to make it into a film. The decision to make it from one film to two films, I’d love for you guys to talk about that process.

Dana: I think Craig maybe was around when it was more choice, actually. He can maybe speak to that. When I got involved, I was brought in by John, too. It was already a fait accompli. It was already like, “We’re making this as two movies. We can’t question it, and we can’t go back. We have to just do it.” Craig, you knew more about that stage and development, right? Where they were deciding to make it two movies?

Craig: No, it was a condition that they wanted me to work on Wicked, and I said, “Okay, but it has to be two movies.”

Dana: See, that’s amazing because you’re a genius. You knew.

Craig: Well, I don’t know about that. I’m very familiar with the show, and I read the script as it existed. What I remember saying to Marc was, “Once she sings Defying Gravity, you have to go home. You can’t stay in the theater.”

Dana: By the way, when you’re at the play, sometimes people made mistakes and we’re like, “Bye, that was the most satisfying thing that ever happened. I’ll see you guys. We’re going to go to dinner now.”

Craig: Right. You can’t. You just can’t. Also, the second act of Wicked, totally, is quite different.

Dana: Correct.

Craig: There’s too much to shove into one movie.

Dana: The songs are so extraordinary because Stephen is such a crazy genius, that you try cutting one song–

Craig: No, you really can’t, and you shouldn’t.

Dana: You were like, “I miss that song. That song’s like a short song. I love it and I miss it.”

Craig: I said, I can outline, I can make two treatments for two different movies, and I can write a script from the beginning to the end of Defying Gravity, and that’s sort of how you, “Aah, boom,” and we’ll see you next time. Marc and the executives at Universal, separately, we’re like, “Not sure Marc will go for that.” Marc’s like, “I’m not sure the studio will go for that.” I basically was like, “Everybody, let’s just do it.” Then they all said yes, and that’s it. That was the last impactful thing I did on Wicked.

Dana: Well, it was very impactful, my friend, seriously, because it’s not an obvious choice. It felt so dangerous at the time.

Craig: It feels so obvious now.

Dana: Well, now it does. Everything feels obvious now, but at the time when we were living in it, it’s like they talk about World War II, and it’s like they didn’t know how it was going to end. Back then, they didn’t know. It might have not worked out. We sort of felt like, “Oh my God, this might not work out,” because, as Craig was saying, it was never the first movie. Whenever people saw the first movie, thank God they loved it; it was wonderful. Everyone kept saying, “Well, it was obviously the right choice to break it into two movies.” I was like, “That’s because you haven’t seen the second movie yet.” I was like, “Hold that thought until–”

John: Let’s talk about this because if the decision wasn’t to make one movie and see how it does, and then make the second movie, the decision was to make two movies at the same time, that was distinct movies that are joined.

Dana: Yes, which means you can’t screw anything up because the first movie has to be a success, because you’ve already shot the second movie.

John: Were they cross-bordered? Were you shooting scenes from two?

Dana: 100% cross-bordered, and this is the brilliance of John and the group that he had around him, all the HODs that were so extraordinary, and the brilliance of Cynthia and Ari, that they would shoot the end of movie one in the morning and shoot Wonderful from movie two in the afternoon. They’re in completely different costumes, totally different hair, different characters. They talk about how they had to use different perfumes depending on which movie they were in because they had to sense things to trigger who they were. They had different playlists for the two movies for themselves to listen to because throughout the day, they had to keep it straight. It wasn’t even just–

Craig: Because it was based on location, basically.

Dana: It was all locations, basically. We had 73 sets, and we were turning over sets constantly. These sets were enormous. Nathan Crowley, who’s our production designer, is a genius. He’s Christopher Nolan’s guy. He’s absolutely extraordinary. I’m obsessed with him. Everybody, go find an interview with Nathan Crowley. He’s the greatest guy ever and totally brilliant. His wife is also extraordinary. Obsessed.

John: You know that you’re making two movies, and we’ll get into this one in the bonus segment where we talk about– The promo circuit is like, last time you had to just talk about the first movie and not acknowledge the second movie.

Dana: This is why they were all sobbing in their interviews, and everyone’s like, “Why are these people crying so hard in their interviews?” It’s like, “Because we just finished For Good. We’re crying about For Good. We’re not crying about Popular. We’re crying about the second movie.”

John: Craig and I have not seen the second movie yet, and I’m excited to see it.

Dana: I’m so excited for you to see it.

John: One of the real challenges, as Craig was alluding to and that you were also mentioning, we remember what happens in Act 1. Act 2 races through a bunch of stuff. If you look at the Wikipedia summary of Act 2, it’s like, “Oh my God,” half a line is given to things, and so you have to make much bigger choices about storytelling.

Dana: That’s exactly right. That was the exciting challenge of it, that the second act of the play is 45 minutes long. This movie is 2 hours and 10 minutes or 14 minutes. We obviously created a lot of new material for the second movie. I always used to describe the feeling of the second act as its own movie. You walked in, you sat down with your popcorn, and you got hit with the two, three-act break, and then you went crazy from there. That’s what the feeling is of the second act, because that was appropriate for the play. Then you’re looking at, “Okay, this is a moviegoing experience. People are used to a one, two, three-act structure.”

John: You’ve got to ramp up.

Dana: You ramp up. You’re a little slow. You’re like, “Where are we now? Who are we? What are we doing?” That was the big fun of trying to figure out movie two is how do we remind people where we are? How do we get them used to how much has changed in the time lapse between the two movies? That was actually a big discussion, was how much time to have passed during the two movies. You’ll see when you see the movie. We landed on something I think is interesting.

Craig: 30 years later?

Dana: Well, no. You know what it was? What I realized with my brilliant friend, Lorene Scafaria, is that the experience of people watching the first movie was so intense for them that it actually impacted how we were all thinking about the second movie as we were working on finishing it, because it raised the bar so much. It was like the expectations got higher and higher every time people were like, “Oh my God, this movie is killing me. I saw it 42 times in theaters.” The press tour of the girls became part of the movie itself. That was their friendship in a weird way because they are friends and they’re so close. Watching them be in love with each other platonically and crying all the time about For Good, which nobody knew, created this intense feeling that we knew we had to have come through the second movie.

Part of the decision of how much time passed was, we were like, “Oh, it should be how much time passed for the audience.”

Craig: Exactly.

Dana: “It should be a year,” because the movies are coming out a year later. Then Winnie came up with some brilliant word for what a year was, which was like 12 clock-ticks of the–

Craig: Clock moons or something, yes. Yes, that’s it.

Dana: She made up some crazy word for this, but we all know it’s a year.

Craig: 12 monthly [unintelligible 00:35:13].

Dana: Yes. The moon passages of the– Yes.

John: Talk about the writing process on this because you’re writing both movies simultaneously, or did you like, “Okay, we’re going to finish the scripts for the first movie and then start the script on the second movie,” or was it all blurred together?

Dana: I was pulled in by John Chu because he’s my favorite person on planet Earth. I told him, “Anytime you want me to do something, I’m going to say yes.”

Craig: Ouch.

Dana: Oh, no, you guys, I meant that I met after you.

Craig: All right, thank you.

Dana: He’s my favorite person on planet Earth who I met after you two.

Craig: Weird, late clarification.

Dana: In the podcast, we could put that before, as if I said it right before.

Craig: Now people skip.

Dana: Matthew, just swoop it out–

[rewind sound]

Dana: I love John and Craig,

[fast-forward sound]

Dana: Working with John, he’s the most extraordinary director, but he’s so collaborative, also, and he makes me want to be a better man. He’s that guy. I’m like, “I love you, John.” I told him, “I’ll do anything with you,” after he and I work together.

John: I want to back up because you worked with him first because he was a director on your TV series.

Dana: Yes, that’s right. He had shot Crazy Rich Asians, but it hadn’t come out yet, and I needed someone to direct the first two episodes of Home Before Dark, which is my Apple TV series. I met with him and he showed me the trailer for Crazy Rich Asians, which had not come out yet. From the trailer, I was like, “You’re a genius. This is going to hit. This is so universal. This is incredible. I love you. I want you to do this.” I was trying to hire him off of a trailer. I was like, “I don’t need to see anything else. I’m obsessed with him.”

He did the most extraordinary job on the TV show. He brought in Alice Brooks, who is the DP of Wicked, to do my show. He brought in Myron Kerstein, the most brilliant editor you’ll ever meet on planet Earth, to do my show. I got to work with all his people. It was extraordinary.

John: I want to stop you for a second because it’s just such a good reminder of the relationships you form and the trust you form and being able to see what a person is like as a collaborator. You were hiring him, but then he’s actually hiring you because he can see, “Dana gets it. We have a shared vision. I know that she can deliver this thing.”

Dana: Correct. Also, I think John’s very loyal. Once he gets his people around that he knows understands the way he likes to work, he wants to keep them close. I feel so lucky to be in his orbit, honestly, because he’s just extraordinary. I said to him, “I’ll do anything for you. I’ll drop whatever I’m doing whenever I’m doing it, and I’ll say yes.” He called me after I finished Lost City. He called me and said, “I have another one for you.” He had done In the Heights, while I did Lost City and other stuff. He said, “Okay, I have another one for you.” He said, “Do you want to know what it is?” I said, “No.” The answer is yes.

He was like, “I’m going to tell you anyway.” I was like, “No, no, no, let’s do a bit where I’d make part of the deal without even knowing what it is.” I thought that would be funny. He was like, “No, I’m going to tell you, you’re an idiot.” I was like, “Okay.” He said, “It’s Wicked.” I was like, “Oh my God, everybody loves– What is it?” He’s like, “Wicked.” I’m like, “Mm-hmm. I also am one of the people that loves Wicked so much,” because I hadn’t seen it. I’m literally the only American human who had not seen Wicked.

Craig: That’s crazy.

John: What did you say when he said Wicked, you’re like, “Wicked what”?

Dana: Well, I knew of it. I knew it was popular and famous and stuff, but I’m not super dialed in. I discovered Beyoncé two years ago.

Craig: I love it.

Dana: I was like, “You guys, we need to talk. This woman’s incredible.”

John: Oh my God, this is amazing.

Dana: This is always me too late on really important things. I started watching Lost in the last season and was like, “You guys, the Hatch.” Everyone was like, “We’re so over the Hatch, we don’t want to talk about the Hatch.”

John: I like, in a weird way, that you weren’t a Wicked–

Dana: I was not a mega fan. I didn’t know anything about it.

John: Sometimes it’s better to not be burdened by–

Dana: Winnie and Stephen now talk about how helpful it was to have me there, being irreverent and not being so precious, because I just didn’t know. It was the middle of the pandemic, so I couldn’t go to Broadway to see it. I googled everything I could find. I watched the entire play in shaky clips from France, Germany, whatever, blah, blah, put it all together. I was like, “I get it.” I read the play and I played Stephen’s gorgeous music. Whenever the song would come up as I was reading it, I would play the music, and I was like, “Gosh, this is so good. This is so good, the music.” I loved it.

I was, of course, impressed, and also, I had loved My So-Called Life so much. I loved Winnie’s work from that. He said, “We’re going to work all of us together. Me, John, Winnie, Stephen, and you. We’re going to get into Zooms, and we’re going to break both movies together,” which I’d never done before with a director. I was so excited to be able to do it because it felt like every day we weren’t just breaking the story or writing the script, we were making the movie because it was what he wanted to be doing, too. He was telling us about his vision as we were all talking it through. We spent 153 hours on Zoom before we ever started writing. I know it’s a lot. Craig looks so tired from the 153.

Craig: Horrifying, just so much–

Dana: I just looked over at him and he was like, “Girl, eugh.”

John: By the way, the bullet you dodged. All right, yes.

[laughter]

Craig: No, I did not dodge a bullet.

Dana: The bullet hit you squarely.

Craig: Yes, the bullet hit me pretty hard.

John: [laughs] You had all these Zooms before you started.

Dana: Before we even started writing, but that was the ideation period, where we broke them into two movies. We carded them digitally because we were all on Zoom, so we couldn’t see each other. We had digital cards that we had made, and then I started outlining from off those cards. I outlined both movies. Then John basically was like, “Okay, we’re going to split up Movie 1 between you and Winnie, and you guys are going to write it together.” We wrote Movie 1 together as quickly as we could to get it full because we had stages booked.

They were trying to make us feel that pressure. We wrote the first movie, and then I immediately pivoted. While Winnie did notes from John and Mark. I immediately pivoted and started writing the second movie. I wrote the second movie. Then from that point forward, Winnie and I were collaborating, but we were each in a different movie. When I was in Movie 2, she was in Movie 1 and vice versa, but we were still working with each other. It was like I would send her a scene from Movie 2 and be like, “This is hot trash garbage. How would Glinda say this thing, because I’d want her to blah, blah, blah?”

There was a lot of collaboration, but we were in two separate movies. That was how we got the work done. It was super collaborative with John and with Stephen. Then, being a fly on the wall to watch Stephen Schwartz do the two new songs for the Movie 2.

John: It was pretty great.

Dana: It was like childhood Dana lost her mind. It was amazing.

Craig: I have to say that this is a really good example of you’re a good writer. I think I’m a good writer. Some people should be writing certain movies, and some people should not. The thing is, I love Wicked. I love the show, but I was not the right person for that project. You were the right person for that project. That project needed somebody that not only was a writer but also, how would I put it, a clearinghouse, a diplomat, and an ambassador. For all of these people, and also somebody that really enjoys the collaboration of writing with another writer. I’m such a monk.

Dana: Yes, you’re so private. You just want to be in your little room and do your thing.

Craig: This is just a great example. I underscore this all the time, but just in case anybody’s confused, the credits for this movie are spot on accurate. I was happy to support those. I didn’t fight you. [laughs] They’re correct.

Dana: Yes. Winnie had done a lot of work before any of us came on. That’s why she has that solo credit. Only writers will understand that credit, which is Winnie’s solo because she had been working on trying to make this into a movie for 15 years before any of us were involved in the process. That’s why she has that credit. Then AND, which means she worked also with the team of me and her. It’s a weird-looking sandwich of a credit, but it does represent what happened. It was really an amazing experience.

It was very difficult because of all those personalities and all the different things, we all cared so much. Honestly, it was really hard, I think, because we cared so much. We wanted it to be so good. We all felt this profound sense of responsibility to the fans. Then after Movie 1, it was like ratcheted up to a million. The post-process of Movie 2, I would just sit around crying because I wanted to be worthy of people’s expectations of the second movie because it was so important to them.

Then also, the world has gotten even harder. I think people desperately need a time to sit in a theater quietly with their friends and their loved ones and their family and be able to express their emotions about what’s going on in the world or whatever, in a safe place to do that. I know the movie gives you that.

John: As they witnessed the rise of fascism, you see it reflected back in the movie, yes. There’s a potential to triumph over it.

Dana: Of course, we didn’t write it that way because it was five years ago that we started writing it. We didn’t know this was going to be what happened. I just think, unfortunately, the movie is so timely because this is timeless. There are always people looking for power, and they’re going to do it at the expense of the most vulnerable people.

Craig: Steven and Winnie, all the way back when they were first conceiving of the show, and this is something that Mark told me, that there was underneath it a pretty clear allegory for Nazi Germany, for fascism, for people getting disappeared, taken away.

Dana: They were writing it in the shadow of 9/11 and the persecution of the Muslim population in America. That was partly why World War II is so fresh on the mind. If we all remember, right after 9/11, it started to get really off.

Craig: Yes. Wicked, it’s really interesting how it has so many flavors and layers. On the top, it is pink and green, and it’s two best friends.

Dana: It’s floopy, yes, 100%.

Craig: It’s funny and weird. Then underneath it, there’s something bad, something bad coming.

Dana: I think that’s what people are going to love about the second movie, is that it still has all the pink and green and floopy, but it is really about something. It really has a lot of there-there. There’s a lot of there-there for both the consequences within the friendship. The political stuff, of course, is there, and it hits harder now because of what’s happening. The friendship is so beautiful. You feel like you’ve been on this crazy emotional journey. That was another real challenge of writing the screenplay of the second movie was, in the play, there’s all these reprises.

That you’re hearing that you just heard the A side of the reprise 20 minutes ago in the play, but in the movie, you’re hearing the reprise a year later. How do you get the audience to feel the feeling of that reprise the same way they would have if they had heard the A side of it 20 minutes ago? We were constantly thinking about how do we remind them of the things that happened in the first film so that that’s fresh in their minds. A lot of it had to do with planned flashbacks, but also unplanned flashbacks that came out in editing that I think were really strategic and really smart.

Craig: Dana?

Dana: My love.

Craig: What do you think my favorite song from Movie 2 is going to be? I know what it is. I’m just saying, what do you think of this?

Dana: I’m just going to say, I don’t know what I’m allowed to say or not say, but I think that No Good Deed–

Craig: You got the answer. That’s it.

Dana: That’s it. That’s the Craig one. Your brain will exit the back of your head and then come back into it at the end. It’s like the crazy– I lost my mind.

Craig: It’s such a good song. Look, I love For Good. I love it. It’s sweet. It’s adorable. It’s a nice wrap-it-up. No Good Deed is awesome. Having seen Cynthia in Jesus Christ Superstar and watching her turn it to 11.

Dana: You told me about how beautiful that was.

Craig: Yes. I can’t wait to see what she does with that.

Dana: I would reference the song you talked about, but there’s a 100% chance I mispronounce it.

Craig: Gethsemane.

Dana: Gethsemane.

[imitating song tune]

Dana: No Good Deed’s going to kill you. Buckle your fucking seat belt for good, though, because it’s–

Craig: Fuckle your bucking seat belt.

Dana: Buckle your fucking seat belt for that one because that’s a goodbye, everybody. I don’t know why. I hope this makes you, too, also feel really emotional when you’re watching it. Part of my emotional experience with the movie is that there is a feeling, a little bit, that Hollywood is dying.

John: It’s a big Hollywood movie.

Dana: This is a big, beautiful Hollywood movie from the old days. You can’t believe this movie got made.

John: They felt the giant sets.

Dana: I have chills. These giant sets that were real, and everything was real. If it’s out of focus, it’s because a person was doing it. There’s no AI. It feels so much like the movies that got us all to be in this business in the first place.

Craig: It’s going to be massive.

Dana: Oh, I hope so. It’s just so beautiful.

Craig: Hollywood is not dying. It’s just that it’s been the months after summer, the months between summer and Thanksgiving. The New York Times once again wrote an article about how Hollywood is dying. They’re like, “Yes, it’s always dying in September and October.” [laughter] That’s what it does.

John: You forget the article you just wrote about what a big summer it was for blockbusters.

Craig: Right.

Dana: Right. That’s a good point.

Craig: Thanksgiving and Christmas comes and kaboom. It’s going to be huge.

Dana: I hope that Wicked puts the paddles back onto the business too, and clear, and it’s like, [onomatopoeia] but the problem is they never seem to learn the lessons from the movies. They’ll go like, “But that’s just Wicked, so it doesn’t count.” You can’t learn anything from it because it’s Wicked.

John: Another musical.

Dana: Nothing’s ever been like this. You’ll be like, “Okay.”

Craig: Nobody knows, but you know what? You guys did a spectacular job, and I can’t wait to see the second movie. John really is a remarkably talented director.

Dana: I do need you to FaceTime me when both of you, after you see it, because I had a hard time talking about it. I was just wandering around the after-party just like a zombie, and crying in front of famous people was basically what it was. It was just so weird. I was just like, I couldn’t stop crying. It was wild.

John: It was the experience of the movie, but also the trauma of making it a movie.

Dana: I had some health issues during it that were really difficult. The narrative I had in my head was that Wicked was what killed me. Wicked is why I got sick. Then I realized while I was watching the movie that, “Oh, no.”

Craig: Oh, no. Here we go.

Dana: I just realized that Wicked actually saved me. It gave me stuff to do while I was feeling so sick. Every day gave me a reason to get up in the morning and try and care and feel something again. It is what ultimately made me feel better. It’s what got me better from the sickness. It’s not what killed me.

Craig: That’s fantastic.

Dana: That was part of why I was weeping around the stupid after-party, like an animal.

Craig: When you were working on it, before it was in production, you and your husband were in Calgary for some reason.

Dana: Oh, boy. That was a– Yes.

Craig: I was there, and the two of us were just–

Dana: That was my breaking point. That’s where I was like, “I might have to quit because I think I’m going to die.” I was like, “I have to.” You were working on The Last of Us.

Craig: On the first season of The Last of Us, which was chaos.

Dana: You were like, “This is crazy.” Yes, and I was like, “Our health might be in danger.” [chuckles]

Craig: Yes, we were standing in a park going, “We’re dying, right? We’re dying.” [crosstalk]

Dana: Yes, and you were so nice to me. I was like, “I think I’m dying.” You’re like, “It’s okay, because I’m also dying, so we could die together.” Then I encountered a bear, and there was a moment where I was like, “Maybe it should eat me.”

John: Wow, it would be a way to go.

Dana: I was like, “This would be a killer story, first of all.”

Craig: How would I identify with that?

Dana: Then I would get out of doing the rest of this work, which is so intense.

Craig: That is what like writing is so hard that a lot of times–

Dana: That you want a bear to eat you.

Craig: I have told my assistant a number of times, listen, at some point today, don’t approach from the front, but from behind, hit me with a hammer as hard as you can on my head, and just end this, so I don’t have to do this.

Dana: I’m so glad you and John say those kinds of things because– John less so because John is just like–

Craig: John’s healthy.

Dana: He’s just too healthy. I can’t talk to you, John. I’ll talk directly to Craig. I’m so glad to hear you say this, Craig, because you’re so brilliant and so talented. I always think of myself as just a really hard worker. That’s why my work is good. Not because I have any innate talent. I’m just like, I just work harder than everybody else.

John: No. That’s an eldest daughter thing.

Dana: I’m the youngest daughter.

John: You’re the only daughter, right?

Dana: I’m the only daughter, yes. I guess you’re right. I’m still the eldest daughter.

John: The eldest daughter.

[laughter]

Dana: Hearing you say that, Craig, I think that helps me, and also all your listeners who are trying to be writers, that you also feel that way is amazing. [crosstalk] I want to die every day. I’m like, “I cannot believe how hard this still feels to me.”

Craig: Yet, every time I have a chance to stop, and I could stop, I do not stop. I never stop.

Dana: Oh, I could stop tomorrow, and I don’t stop. I’m crazy.

John: No. You’ve set up nine more shows and movies. While you’ve been sitting here.

Dana: While I’ve been sitting here, I set up 42 new things. It’s like I have a problem. I literally have a Post-it note on my desk that says, “Say no.” Then I just said yes to all the things.

John: All the things. All right. Let’s answer some listener questions here.

Dana: Yes, please.

John: James in Vancouver wants to ask about torture.

Dana: We just talked all about torture. [crosstalk] We don’t need to talk about torture. James, that was your answer to your question.

John: You guys always talk about needing to make your characters suffer in order to see them go through the maximum amount of growth possible. However, how much suffering is too much? At what point does it veer into emotional torture porn as opposed to genuine trials and tribulations?

Craig: That’s a good question.

John: I think it’s a very good question. Torture your hero is fantastic. If there’s a moment where it’s like, “I don’t want to watch this anymore,” or it feels gratuitous, I’m going to stop. You have to make sure that you are giving your character some victories, some hope along the way. If it’s just despair, if it’s 1984, people are going to stop. Then you’ve failed as a storyteller, I think.

Dana: I also feel like you ask yourself, what do you want to go through? I have to close my eyes when torture is happening, actual torture is happening in things. I feel almost the same way about emotional torture, which is like, I want to stop just shy of that because I just think that’s gratuitous and weird, and I don’t need to see it. Also, we’re in a world and a time where everything feels like torture. I tend to go with what I feel and what I think the rest of the world is feeling because I’m also feeling it. Craig, what were you going to say?

Craig: I definitely like to echo the feelings that we have, but give people a way to go through these things somewhat safely. Torturing your characters has to be purposeful. Remember, you’re not just torturing them, you are choosing what to do to them. Therefore, you have a plan, and the plan is such that the torture must be matched to their ability to withstand it and then surpass it. The real question, James, isn’t how much should I torture them? The real question is, what would make this person’s victory feel really earned and satisfying?

Dana: That’s great.

Craig: That’s all.

Dana: That’s great. Also, for each individual character, the definition of torture is totally different. For my husband, the definition of torture is me chewing food that he can hear. Literally, that could be an entire scene where he’s tortured. He says it makes him want to actually murder me in cold blood.

John: Misthonia.

Dana: Misthonia. Yes, he has that thing. You can calibrate it based on who the person is because torture is something different for each person, but that’s so smart.

Craig: You calibrate it depending on the person, and you also calibrate it depending on the tone. In comedies, torture could be as “torturous” as, “The girl that dumped me is with the guy that beat me up yesterday, and I have to sit here and watch them dance.” That’s torture. It’s not Zero Dark Thirty torture. [laughs]

Dana: Yes, nobody’s strapped to a chair in that story.

Craig: Right, but sometimes you do strap someone to a chair, and that’s–

Dana: To a cuck chair. Bringing it back.

Craig: If they’re only 200 pounds.

Dana: We’re going to make it a runner. [crosstalk] Don’t worry about it.

John: To recap, when you’re thinking about torturing your characters, you’re thinking about what is it that you want. What is it that makes you feel uncomfortable or comfortable? What do you as the writer want? You’re thinking about the audience. Where is the audience in this? Also, crucially, you’re thinking about the character. What is it about this character and their journey that this torture is allowing them to grow and progress and do the things you’re going to do?

Dana: I particularly like what Craig says because that almost reframes it for me in a way that I understand that question even more, which is what will make their victory feel more earned, which is such a smarter way of saying what specific torture is right for this person and what level. If you think about it, in Wicked Movie 1, we realized, like, since it was ending at Defying Gravity, she can’t be defeating the wizard. That was what her I Want song was about, but she can’t defeat the wizard because she can’t do that until the second movie.

What she had to defeat was the part of herself that didn’t believe that she could do it. That led to all these discoveries of she was going to see herself as a child and all these different things. It led to different forms of torture for her in Movie 1 than are the ones that she experiences in Movie 2. It was all about making those victories feel earned and/or the bittersweet ending feel as sad as possible.

Craig: That’s a good question, though. You know what? Vancouver representing.

Dana: I love Vancouver.

John: One other quick question here from Zach. Was the 1990s a great decade for action movies, or am I just experiencing whatever generation thinks that the decade they grew up in has the best media? Some of the films that he’s listing here are The Fugitive, Bad Boys, Mission Impossible, Independence Day, Speed, Armageddon, Twister, Men in Black, and many others.

Dana: They’re all perfect.

Craig: Amusingly, none of those movies are even in the top 50 of the best movies of the 1990s. The answer is yes. The 1990s were incredible.

Dana: It’s insane. Yes.

Craig: I grew up in the ’70s and ’80s, and I’m here to tell you the ’90s were the best 10 years of movies that I’ve experienced in my life. When I look back at what they did there, it’s astonishing.

John: The danger is that we are all roughly the same age cohort and that we were in our young 20s there. You always think about that period of your life as being like, “Oh, that was fantastic.” The way we would test that is we should get younger people to watch movies of the different decades and have them–

Dana: Shouldn’t that be a follow-up question? [crosstalk] Can you ask your audience, to younger people, “Watch those movies and see if they’re bangers like we think they are”?

Craig: I have been showing great hits of the ’90s to my assistants and the office PAs and basically all the kids that are–

Dana: What do they think?

Craig: It’s been just one home run after another.

John: That’s great.

Dana: That’s great. Will you share that list, though? Share that list. Put that list out for me. Give me your top 10 because I want to watch them.

Craig: This list right here, all these movies are fun, but it’s like he’s not even listening. Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas, Silence of the Lambs. [crosstalk] I can just go on. Fargo. There’s so many incredible movies.

John: He was specifically talking about action in his days. Yes, there are incredible movies. 1999 was a banner year. You look at the movies that came out that year, it was absurd. Yes, you’re right.

Craig: You know what? Fair, Zach. You were talking about action movies. I’ll give you a pass on that. All those were great action movies. The Fugitive is like–

Dana: The Fugitive is a perfect movie. Have I ever talked to you about the movie? Okay, I want to tell. Super quick, though. We may have learned this because we went to the Stark program, so we may have learned this the same. I always learned structure was character, and it was all about how the character’s going through a specific journey. We learned there’s the character’s need and there’s the character’s want. The movie is all about where they start off the movie, where they want something, and they’re making a journey towards needing something.

Wherever they are along the way, those key plot points are always about whether they’re getting what they need or whether they’re getting what they want, that kind of thing. The other thing that I learned was that the protagonist is the character who changes, not the lead of the movie. It’s the character who changes, and the antagonist is the character who causes that person to change. The protagonist of The Fugitive is Tommy Lee Jones, of course. The antagonist is Richard Kimble because Harrison Ford, of course, is the lead of the movie.

Craig: He doesn’t change.

Dana: He doesn’t change at all. He’s like, “I didn’t kill my wife,” in the beginning of the movie. In the middle of the movie, he’s like, “I swear to fucking God, I didn’t kill my wife.” At the end of the movie, he’s like, “I fucking told you I didn’t kill my wife.” Tommy Lee Jones, the whole structure is key to Tommy Lee Jones’s arc in understanding that Richard Kimble is telling the truth.

Craig: Yes. This is all correct.

Dana: That helps me with structure more than anything else.

Craig: Nice.

John: All right. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My one cool thing is sitting between me and Dana. It’s a thing called the Owl, and it’s this little camera device. It looks like a speaker. It looks like a tall speaker, but it has a camera at the top that is a panoramic camera. We’re on a Zoom like we are right now with Craig, and Drew, and Graham. It is showing individual slices, individual shots of me and Dana, so that we actually look well framed in it. It is just a piece of magic. It’s the Owl.

If you’re doing any sort of situation where you have some people in a place and other people are on Zoom, it is a game-changer. When we’ve done other things like this, Scriptnotes, you have to move the laptop back far enough so that everyone can see each other, or there’s a camera up on the wall.

Dana: I’ve done so many things like this, I’ve never seen it work as well as it’s working right now. We’re all seeing each other’s faces. Everybody’s in the frame. It’s amazing.

Craig: It’s really effective.

John: What’s so smart about it is it has the panoramic view, and it shows you at the top, but it’s smart enough to individually slice out when someone is speaking to give them framed as a single.

Dana: I urge every studio to get one of these because all of those Zoom calls I have with you guys, where 27 of you are in one frame, I can’t do it anymore.

John: I was on a Netflix call, and literally, it was like a satellite shot of two executives at a table.

Dana: Yes, satellite, literally, like a Google Earth shot of the Netflix building.

John: It’s hard for me to read it in attention. I’m like, “All right. Do they get it?”

Dana: I was like, “Do they like it? Do they want it?” I can’t tell.

Craig: I’m going to get one of these for the production office. I’m going to get one tomorrow.

Dana: Oh, for the production office. It would kill for that. For production meetings?

Craig: Yes.

Dana: Everybody. Great.

John: Craig, for D&D, when we’re a hybrid, like while you’re up in Canada, game changer.

Craig: Yes. [laughs] John and I–

Dana: Did you just slip in that Craig is doing D&D?

Craig: No, we play D&D together.

John: Play D&D every week.

Dana: Oh, I thought you guys were making a movie together. It’s cute. You guys are cute.

Craig: We are. We’re adorable. We talk about torture. John and I were playing in a game on Thursday evening, where we were subjected to a three-hour pointless combat, where we ended up captured and shoved into a mine.

Dana: Oh, my God. Are you with other people in this story? Who else is in there?

John: Oh, my God. Who’s who? It’s me, and Craig, and Chris Morgan. We’ll talk about it. We’ll tell you after. We’ll sidebar.

Dana: Yes, sidebar. Chris Morgan made it in, though. We all know he was there.

John: Dana Fox, do you have a one cool thing to share with us?

Dana: I would love my one cool thing to be my husband’s podcast, which is called The Most Important Question. It’s mostly about climate change, and science, and all sorts of interesting stuff. Because it’s not a thing, I am going to say my one cool thing is heating pads. Because what it allows you to do is lower the temperature in your bedroom to 55. If you can’t see your breath, you’re not doing it right. Then you get the heating pad so that you don’t die. It allows you to keep the room as cold as you need to keep it. Amazing sleep.

John: Love it.

Dana: Please enjoy.

Craig: That’s good.

John: I also am a big fan of the heated seats in your car.

Dana: Stunning.

John: It can be the middle of summer, but you just want a little–

Dana: Summer? A little back warmer?

John: Yes.

Dana: Heat up that lumbar?

John: Absolutely. Loosen up your back.

Dana: Not getting back pain? Loosen it up?

John: Fantastic.

Dana: Love it. Great story.

John: The new car also has seat coolers, and so it blows air through the seat. Game changer, so you don’t have the sweaty back when you go into a meeting.

Dana: Not to steal another one cool thing, because I totally want to hear one. We also got the ID. Buzz. Let me tell you, this is the electric VW buzz that looks like the hippie thing.

John: You have 19 children.

Dana: We have 19 children. We put them in this hippie bus. We drive around, and it brings so much joy.

John: It’s a beautiful car.

Dana: It’s a beautiful car. We got the peel. People are like, “All right, all right.” Everybody becomes Matthew McConaughey when you drive by. You get peace signs. You get smoking weed signs. We’re in Virginia. We’re in southern places where nobody does shit like that. Everybody is so happy around this car. It’s the cutest thing. My husband got me a little bumper sticker on it. Surprised me one day. It says, “We can’t all come and go by bubble,” on the back of the car. It’s really precious. He’s a great guy.

John: Craig, what’s your one cool thing?

Craig: Yes, please. My one cool thing this week is a set of puzzles, a nice puzzle suite from Eric Berlin, who’s a pretty prolific puzzle constructor. He’s a big participant on one of the big teams in the MIT puzzle hunt that happens every year. This one is actually a great one if you’re thinking about getting into this sort of thing. It’s not far off, difficulty-level-wise, from the one that David Kwong and I ran back in the day at the Magic Castle. This one is called Have Fun Storming the Castle. We’ll include a link for you.

Dana: I went to the David Kwong at the Magic Castle one with you guys. That was great.

John: It was with him.

Craig: Difficulty-wise, it’s right about there. You should be able to get through it. Maybe you might need a hint or two, but probably not.

Dana: I’ve never felt dumber than when I was– I was like, “I’m so smart.” I came in, I’m like, “I’m so smart. I went to Stanford, I’m so smart.” I’ve never felt dumber than that night.

Craig: It’s because you use different skills. This one’s got eight puzzles and then one meta puzzle.

Dana: How do I engage in it? Is it online, or is it on my internet phone?

Craig: Yes, you can pick up your internet, get your internet out of your pocket,-

Dana: Okay. That’s my internet and whatever.

Craig: -turn your internet on. [laughs] Then switch your internet on.

John: Unlock your internet on your face.

Dana: Unlock your internet with my face. Copy that. I know how to do that.

Craig: Exactly. Then follow the link, and it will cost you a whole eight American dollars.

Dana: This is great. That’s a great one cool thing.

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by [crosstalk]

Dana: Wait, hold on. Don’t do a thing. I love you guys. You’re amazing people, and I really love you, and I miss you, and you’re great, and thanks for being such great people.

Craig: Dana, you are just a permanent ray of sunshine. I can’t explain how happy I was to see Dana in her slanket on that plane. I was so happy.

Dana: Comfort. One of the vowels is gone. I don’t know which one. I can’t help you get the sweatshirt because I don’t know which vowel disappeared.

Craig: Like 70% of people that I know, if I had seen them on a plane in their slanket, I would pretend to have not seen them.

Dana: You would pretend that you had not seen them. 100%. No, I know. I get that about you.

Craig: I’m on a plane. I don’t want to do all that.

Dana: I felt so touched. I was like, Craig usually ignores people on planes. This is special.

Craig: Then Jack McBrayer just chimed in, and we had the best time.

Dana: We had the best time. I really do love you guys, and you’ve been amazing friends and mentors to me forever, and I appreciate you. Truly, I’m so grateful for you guys. It’s hitting me because I’m here in town for Wicked, and that took five years of my life. There are certain people in your life who just don’t leave and don’t stop being amazing, and it’s you guys.

Craig: I will say, Dana, I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but I know that I’ve been changed for good.

Dana: I’m going to get you something. I’m going to get you a present. I’m going to get you some merch. Don’t worry about it.

Craig: I want merch. I want pink, and I want green.

Dana: I’m going to get you a mirror that has lights on it.

Craig: By the way, that’s how you know that no one’s ever sent me a mug.

[laughter]

Dana: I’m going to do it. I’m going to send you the mug. I’m going to send you the Owala water bottle. Everybody loves these water bottles. They did a Wicked collection. I got 72 of them for Christmas presents.

Craig: Good, because Melissa doesn’t have enough water bottles in her house.

John: No, it’s a huge shortage, yes.

Craig: We have a room that’s called Water Bottle Room.

Dana: By the way, I have 757,000 water bottles, and I somehow don’t have enough water bottles. There’s never the cap. It’s never the right thing.

Craig: This water bottle thing– Anyway.

Dana: They’ve got us by the balls. By the way, if anybody wants to have fun, look up Hugh Grant talking about water bottles. It’s a delight. I have a whole side career where I just watch Hugh Grant do interviews. It’s so fun.

Craig: Second one cool thing. I like that.

John: Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Spencer Lackey. To view an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. You’ll find transcripts at johnaugust.com, along with sign up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. You’ll find clips and helpful video on our YouTube. Just search for Scriptnotes and give us a follow.

You’ll also find us on Instagram at Script Notes Podcast. We have T-shirts and hoodies, and drinkware, but no cuck chairs. [laughter] You’ll find those at Cotton Bureau. You’ll find the show notes with links to all the things we talked about today in the e-mail you get each week as a premium subscriber. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to our premium subscribers. You make it possible for us to do this each and every week. You can sign up to become one at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on the promo circuit.

Dana Fox, thank you again for joining us on Scriptnotes.

Dana: Thank you for having me. I love you guys.

Craig: Thank you, Dana.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Dana Fox, the reason we get to see you in person in Los Angeles is because you are here doing a promo for Wicked For Good. I just want to talk about the promo circuit because on so many levels, it’s a celebration. Congratulations, you made a movie. It’s out there in the world. You made a series of a new season of television, it’s out there in the world. Then, like, oh my God, you have to just schlep around and promote it. You have to do all the things.

Dana: It looks really fun when people see it, and everybody’s dressed up, and you’ve got all the hair and makeup, and everyone’s like, “You’re great, everything’s great.” It’s so hard. It’s like a job. It’s a real job, and it takes you away from the job you get paid for, which is typing on your computer.

John: You don’t get paid to [unintelligible 01:08:43].

Dana: For months, I didn’t work because I was promoting the first movie, and thank God, we had a lot of people who wanted to talk to us, which was amazing. I felt so lucky, and so I really wanted to take advantage of it. Then it was March, and I realized I hadn’t written a single word for the year. I was like, “Oh my God, I have to pack my entire year worth of work into the next couple of months because the next promo tour is about to start.” That was very intense.

It is a lot of work, and I hate to say that because you imagine normal people with their normal jobs sitting there rolling their eyes at me, being like, “Oh, getting makeup on is really hard.” It’s like I became a writer because I’m terrible at that stuff. I’m so bad at blow-drying my hair. What even is that? It takes hours. I don’t understand it. Then I see the girls, Cynthia and Ari, and I’m like, they look like they’re going to the Met Gala every time they step out. I’m like, that is a lot of work.

John: Hours to get to that place. I remember back when I was in Startup Program, you were just a couple years behind me. There was a writer-director who was talking about, like, “Oh, yes, I do that, but I’m going to have to do the awards season starting for this movie.” Oh, that’s presumptuous. They think that movie’s made up for the awards. He wasn’t wrong. He was just like, he’d been through it before. He knew that, “Okay, those are three months I’m not going to get back.”

Dana: I’m very superstitious, so if something goes well, I have to wear the same clothes. It’s gross. It’s like, I’m that lady. I can’t talk about anything in the future. I’m like, I’m done. The premiere’s on Monday in New York, and I’m going to do that and do a couple more interviews. I’m assuming I’m done because I can’t–

John: You’re not done.

Dana: Ooh, but I can’t say it out loud.

John: Let’s talk about the gendered expectations of this, though, too, because for you need to have a great-looking outfit. Hair and makeup, but also great outfits for things, where Craig and I don’t– We’re just sticking to our suit.

Craig: I got to tell you that [crosstalk]

Dana: No, I was going to say, have you seen Craig lately? Look at his glasses. He looks so cool.

Craig: They send over a stylist who’s a lovely man, and they send over a makeup lady. Now, for me, makeup is, “Can we please make your head not so shiny?”

Dana: That takes a life time.

Craig: That’s really what makeup is. “Can we do something about the eye bags?” It takes about 20 minutes, maybe 30, but–

Dana: I’m in there for two hours and 30 minutes.

Craig: That’s the gendered part, right? That is a big one.

Dana: Can we make her look like she doesn’t have three kids?

Craig: They send over a rack of clothes, and I’ve got to try things on and make decisions. I’m not good at that.

Dana: I think that’s nice that they do that. They’ve done that for me, and I felt so appreciated. I appreciate Universal so much for treating the writer that way in features because, Craig, you’re the writer in a television show, which means you’re like the king of the castle. I’m a writer in a feature movie, which means they’re like, “Who? What’s that girl doing here?”

Craig: They don’t have to do it, and it’s nice that they are doing it.

Dana: They don’t have to. It’s very nice that they’re doing it.

Craig: It’s also a sign of how much they respect and appreciate you. For me, it was interesting hearing you say you had to take all this time off. For me, that stuff happens while we’re in post. It starts happening, I would say, two brutal months, maybe three, and I’m working all day. Then you just have to go and–

Dana: For me, when I have an interview and I have to get glammed, that’s my day. He killed my whole day. Does it do that for you?

Craig: Most of the stuff that I end up doing are interviews. There’s the junket days and all that stuff. The phone interviews or Zoom interviews, I don’t need to do anything. When somebody’s coming for a magazine and they’re doing photographs or you’re going to an event, then, yes. I got to work on a Saturday now because I did this thing on a Thursday.

Dana: Part of the reason that I accepted the whole idea of the stylist and all that stuff was because Franklin Leonard from the Black List pulled me aside and was like, “Writers are always wearing black, they’re hiding, they’re in the background, especially women, and they look like publicists for someone else. Don’t do that.” He’s like, “Wear color, be out front, make yourself look good because that is part of raising the profile of writers in Hollywood.” That’s part of people understanding that we actually work on the movies. We do stuff.

Craig: I have this thing that I think I’ve successfully articulated to the stylist I work with, which is because part of his job is to try and get me to be a little bit more adventuresome in what I wear because I’m not. Where I draw the line is I’m like, okay, but when I’m up there, like we’re doing a FYC event and it’s me and the actors, it’s about the actors. More importantly, I cannot try to even seem like I think I’m as cool as them.

Dana: I’m trying to compare myself to Pedro.

Craig: Exactly.

Dana: 100%.

Craig: I’m Dad. I need to always be Dad. As long as you can keep me Dad, and let the actors have their beautiful aura of coolness.

Dana: As long as it’s clear that I am Ariana Grande or Cynthia Erivo’s nanny, then we’re fine. [laughter] I’m not up there to try to be like them. I do stare at them lovingly during all of the Q&As [crosstalk] and just tear up because they’re just so beautiful and lovely.

Craig: You’re so important to the movie, and John is so important to the movie and the editors and everybody. These events are entirely about the actors. I reiterate this, too. I’m trying to explain this. Because sometimes, especially when we do–

Dana: They do a lot of events where the actors are not there. These are more the craft ones, like the BAFTA.

Craig: Those are fun.

Dana: It’s about craft, and then they really do listen to what–

John: What’s so interesting about those roundtable-y things is that you are having genuine conversations, but you’re done up because you’re taking photos at the same time, and so you’re looking at stuff. I find if I get makeup for something, I feel it the rest of the day, my eyes get itchy, and I hate having it on. I have to scrub it all down.

Craig: What is that? Dana, why do our eyes get itchy?

Dana: It’s the powder in it. Do your eyes get itchy?

Craig: Yes.

John: Yes. From the–

Dana: You guys are allergic to something. You got to tell your makeup artists that they need to do sensitive skin stuff.

John: I think it’s just the powder that they use to keep my shiny head from–

Craig: I think it’s anti-bald powder. Because like John and I, our heads are bounce cards, basically. Whatever they use for that clearly makes your eyes itchy. Honestly, no man can complain about makeup. It’s just like–

Dana: Thank you for saying that, because I, as a woman, feel that I could have been president of the United States if I had not had to blow-dry my hair throughout my entire life, because that is how much time I would have gotten back. I could be the president right now.

Craig: Really, you should have been.

Dana: I mean, please.

John: Dana Fox for president. Once again, we’ve–

Dana: Solved it all.

John: We solved the problem.

Dana: We solved everything.

John: Dana, we love you. Thank you so much for coming on.

Craig: Thank you, Dana.

Dana: I love you both so much.

John: Bye.

Dana: Thank you. Bye.

Links:

  • Dana Fox on Instagram and IMDb
  • Wicked: For Good
  • Graham Rowat
  • Friendship
  • Comfrt travel hoodie
  • Sara Schaefer’s miniature cuck chairs
  • Pittman Inflatable Camping Chair
  • Inflatable Beanless Bean Bag Chair
  • What the Cuck?! | Decoder Ring
  • Wicked the book and the stage show
  • The Fugitive (1993)
  • Owl Labs’ Meeting Owl 3
  • Eric Berlin – Puzzle Snacks
  • The Most Important Question podcast
  • Heating Pads
  • VW ID Buzz
  • Preorder the Scriptnotes Book!
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Become a Scriptnotes Premium member, or gift a subscription (now with fewer emails!)
  • Subscribe to Scriptnotes on YouTube
  • Scriptnotes on Instagram
  • John August on Bluesky and Instagram
  • Outro by Spencer Lackey (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

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