John August

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The Workaholics list of banned phrases

Rant, Words on the page

John Quaintance recently [tweeted photos](https://twitter.com/John_Quaintance/status/799751549610168320) of two whiteboards listing phrases banned in the Workaholics writers’ room. His tweet has been widely shared, and is a mitzvah to all writers.

These phrases are all clams — jokes that aren’t funny anymore and therefore need to die. When you include them in a script, you’re evoking the rhythm of comedy without the content of comedy. They’re not just cliché; they’re hollow.

I asked Godwin to type them up so we could discuss them on the next Scriptnotes, where we look into their origins and ways to write around them.

I’m posting them here so you can read along. You can also [download them as a PDF](http://ja-vincent.s3.amazonaws.com/banned-phrases.pdf) if you’d like a copy for your wall.

___? More Like ___.
Can You Not?
…I Can Explain!
Let’s Not And Say We Did
I Didn’t Not ___
Va-Jay-Jay
Wait For It…
Just Threw Up In My Mouth.
Really?
Good Talk
And By ___ I Mean ___
Check Please!
Awkward!
Shut The Front Door!
Lady Boner
Rut-Roh!
I Think That Came Out Wrong.
Uh…Define ___.
No? Just Me.
Why Are We Whispering?
That Went Well…
Stay Classy
I’m A Hot Mess!
That’s Not A Thing
It’s Science
Bacon Anything
Cray-Cray
Real Talk
#Nailed It
Random!
Awesome Sauce
Thanks…I Guess
Little Help?
Laughy McLaugherson
___ Dot Com
I Love Lamp.
Oh Helllll Naw!
#Epic Fail
Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
Food Baby
Douche (Nozzle)
Soooo, That Just Happened
Squad Goals
I Just Peed A Little
Too Soon?
Spoiler Alert
Um…In English Please
Note To Self
Life Hack
Best. ___. Ever. (or Worst. ___. Ever.)
It’s Giving Me All The Feels.
Garbage People
That Happened One Time!
Well Played
I’m Right Here!
Hard Pass
Are You Having A Stroke?
Go Sports!
Zero Fucks Given
We Have Fun
Who Hurt You?
I Absorbed My Twin In The Womb
I’ll Take ___ For $500, Alex.
Thanks Obama
Wait, What?
Shots Fired
Sharkweek
You Assclown
Ridonkulous
Bag Of Dicks
Hey, Don’t Help.
Debbie Downer
I Can’t Unsee That.
That Just Happened.
See What I Did There?
I’ll Show Myself Out.
Here’s The Line, Here’s You.
___ On Steroids/Crack.
Swipe Right.
White People Problems.
I Could Tell You But I’d Have To Kill You.
That’s Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
I Think We’re Done Here

Fantasy and Reality

Episode - 277

Go to Archive

Scriptnotes

Craig and John look at how writers, and screenwriters in particular, impact the way people think about things in the real world. From crime scenes to courtrooms to CPR, we simplify things for storytelling and leave audiences with skewed expectations.

In follow up, Craig invited Final Draft into his life (and office), actors’ accents got analyzed, and more news came out about fake news.

We also be answer listener questions about LA neighborhoods and the gulf between getting read and getting paid.

Links:

* [The Black Widow](http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/nova-scotia/internet-black-widow-signs-peace-bond-1.3863909)
* [“I’ve Been Making Viral Fake News for the Last Six Months…”](http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/11/21/i-ve-been-making-viral-fake-news-for-the-last-six-months-it-s-way-too-easy-to-dupe-the-right-on-the-internet.html)
* [Dialect coach Erik Singer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvDvESEXcgE)
* [Wendy Zukerman on Science Vs.](https://gimletmedia.com/episode/9-forensic-science/)
* [The CSI Effect](http://forensicoutreach.com/library/the-csi-effect-6-reasons-why-tv-crime-shows-are-patently-absurd/)
* [FTC Labeling](https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/documents/public_statements/996984/p114505_otc_homeopathic_drug_enforcement_policy_statement.pdf)
* Alan Levinowitz for Slate: [Will labels backfire?](http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2016/11/the_ftc_s_new_homeopathic_medicine_rules_will_backfire.html)
* [Duolingo](https://www.duolingo.com/)
* [How to carve a turkey](http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/cooking-tips-techniques/carve-turkey)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Get your 250 episode USB](http://store.johnaugust.com/collections/frontpage/products/250-episode-usb-flash-drive)
* [Find past episodes](http://scriptnotes.net/)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Victor Krause ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_277.mp3).

**UPDATE 12-01-16:** The transcript of this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2016/scriptnotes-ep-277-fantasy-and-reality-transcript).

Separating scenes in Highland

Apps, Fountain, Highland

Jose, one of our [Highland 2 beta testers](http://quoteunquoteapps.com/highland-2-beta/), wrote in with a feature request:

> I’d love the ability to print individual scenes, with page breaks after each scene. It can be useful to physically rearrange scenes once printed.

We could add that as a command, but how often would users really want to do that? Rarely-used features are cruft. They make apps more complicated than they need to be, both for users and developers.

Luckily, it’s remarkably easy to do what Jose wants with any Fountain app, including the original [Highland](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/highland/id499329572?mt=12).

### Step one: Think what it would look like

In [Fountain syntax](http://fountain.io/syntax), a page break is simply three equal signs: ===

Meanwhile, scene headers start with either INT. or EXT. ((You can also force a scene header by starting with a period: .DEEPER IN THE VOID. You can find these by searching for a return followed by a period.))

So in order to put a page break between each scene, you want to replace every instance of INT. with…

===
INT.

…and then do the same with EXT.

### Step two: Make it look like that

Within Highland, you can do it with two passes of Find and Replace, choosing Replace All. It’s helpful to copy-and-paste the second part, since Mac’s default find and replace fields only show you a single line.

find-and-replace

It took less than 20 seconds in all.

If breaking scenes into individual pages is something you do all the time, it’s easily automated. Here’s an AppleScript to do it: [Split Fountain Scenes](http://pastebin.com/eWmueJ8M).

As always, it’s a good idea to work on a copy of the file you can toss after printing.

Highland’s plain-text Fountain format makes little hacks like this easy. For example, another beta tester requested a way to print his [[inline notes]], which are removed by default.

There’s no need for him to wait for us to add a feature. We suggested he simply find-and-replace [[ and ]] with ++. He got the inline notes he wanted right away.

### How would you do this in Final Draft or Fade In?

With difficulty. I couldn’t find a way to do it without manually inserting page breaks at the end of every scene. If you figure out a way, let me know.

Mammoths of Mercy

Scriptnotes

Writer-director Chris Sparling joins John and Craig to discuss his new film Mercy, and what it’s like to make a movie for Netflix. Then it’s another round of How Would This Be a Movie, with stories including ex-girlfriends, fake news, and permafrost ivory.

Plus we answer listener questions on cosplay, criticism and parallel structures.

Links:

* [Mercy Trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sviO7Cd2vCQ)
* [Dear Mike’s New Girlfriend](https://thehairpin.com/dear-mikes-new-girlfriend-8728eb296933#.6fopaszfu)
* [How a Fake News Writer Earned Donald Trump the White House](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2016/11/17/facebook-fake-news-writer-i-think-donald-trump-is-in-the-white-house-because-of-me/#)
* [9 ‘Onion’ Articles Taken Seriously](https://www.bustle.com/articles/87123-9-onion-articles-taken-seriously-including-this-very-awkward-moment-from-fifas-jack-warner)
* [How One Amazon Kindle Scam Made Millions of Dollars](http://www.zdnet.com/article/exclusive-inside-a-million-dollar-amazon-kindle-catfishing-scam/)
* [The Mammoth Pirates](http://www.rferl.org/a/the-mammoth-pirates/27939865.html)
* [Seasonal Flu Shot](http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/flushot.htm)
* [USB-C](http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2478121,00.asp)
* [Rise of the Boogeyman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpv3GjagNe0)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Get your 250 episode USB](http://store.johnaugust.com/collections/frontpage/products/250-episode-usb-flash-drive)
* [Find past episodes](http://scriptnotes.net/)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Pedro Aguilera ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_276.mp3).

**UPDATE 12-01-16:** The transcript of this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2016/scriptnotes-ep-276-mammoths-of-mercy-transcript).