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Follow Up

Publicity 101

March 15, 2007 Big Fish, Charlie, Film Industry, Follow Up, News

Last night, the [Writers Guild Foundation](http://www.wgfoundation.org/) held a panel discussion about publicity. I was one of the panelists, but I ended up learning a fair amount myself.

For example, according to a Variety editor, it’s perfectly okay for a screenwriter to pick up the phone and call a writer at the trades when you’ve sold a project.Announcements like this run all the time (c.f. Shazam!). It has to be legit, of course. Optioning a script to your roommate, who is an aspiring producer-slash-drummer, doesn’t count. It’s strange: in this blog, I’m constantly telling aspiring screenwriters to stop asking for permission and just do what they want to do. But I honestly wouldn’t be ballsy enough to call an unknown writer at the trades to do this.

Chris Day, who runs publicity for my agency (UTA) brought with him a memo I’d written in the Big Fish era. At his suggestion, I was meeting with publicists, and had listed my goals and messages.I was an advertising major, so this kind of publicity-speak comes naturally. I promised attendees at the panel that I would find the original memo and post a .pdf of it. So here it is: [Big Fish publicity goals](http://johnaugust.com/Assets/pub_goals.pdf).

One of the questions that came from the audience–but probably should have started out the evening–was, What is the point of publicity, exactly? Most of us aren’t looking to be famous per se, and unlike a novelist, our names alone aren’t going to be selling books.

The Writers Guild Foundation stresses that any time a screenwriter gets press, that helps all screenwriters. And to some degree, that’s true. [There are no famous screenwriters](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2006/are-you-somebody), but it would be nice if the general public had some sense that movies are actually written, and that the actors aren’t making up their dialogue.

But I’d say the main reason to think about publicity is to help the movies and TV shows you’re involved with. The screenwriter tends to know more about the story than anyone else on the project, so you can be a crucial resource as journalists figure out how to write about the plot. I’ve attended a half-dozen junkets, and have rarely seen myself directly quoted. But I recognize a lot of what I’ve said in the stories that are written. If I can help create a consistent, positive message, then I’ve done my job.

The other reason to think about publicity is in terms of your overall career. I have no doubt that I’ve gotten meetings with certain directors and actors because of repeated exposure to my name. It’s nice if someone likes Big Fish. It’s even better if they remember I wrote it. Every time a news story includes the phrase, “…August, whose credits include Big Fish, Corpse Bride and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory…” that’s like refreshing the cache on someone’s internal IMDb.

All-new MySpace beta

March 6, 2007 Follow Up, Rant, Rave

I now fully regret my earlier [ambivalence](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2006/myambivalence) about MySpace. As it turns out, the site is only lame when you have 600 or 700 friends. Having crossed the magic threshold of [1,000 MySpace pals](http://myspace.com/johnaugust), I truly understand what all the fuss is about.

The difference is [MySpace Advanced](http://collect.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=disallowed), and you can only access it when you have more than 1,000 friends. It’s beta, and I guess I clicked on some sort of non-disclosure button when I accepted. But it’s too great a secret to keep to myself.

Here are just some of the improvements you get with MySpace Advanced:

* __Full CSS styling.__ No longer do you have to hide formatting in weird text boxes.

* __AJAX-y goodness.__ You can delete rogue comments in-place, or drag-and-drop elements on the page.

* __HTML tag destroyers.__ Not only can you turn off HTML graphics in comments, you can automatically delete any comment that tries to use them.

* __Lameness filters.__ Sick of people leaving ASCII graphics as comments? Just click the checkbox and they’re history.

* __Smarter ads.__ Even though it says “gay” in your “orientation” field, the system knows you might be interested in something other than a shirtless guy for Gay.com.

* __Education screening.__ The system parses every message, comment and profile blurb a user writes, generating an estimated education level for the user. I have my threshold set to “College Grad,” which effectively silences the stupid people.You can also set a top education limit, good for shutting out snarky screenwriters.

The new version is terrific. Unfortunately, it doesn’t exist.

Even with a thousand so-called friends, the system is just as lame and frustrating as it was when it was just me and [Tom](http://myspace.com/tom).By the way, has anyone else noticed that “Tom” has formatting errors on his page, and _he’s the freakin’ spokesperson?_ Check his “Movies” section. So, this is my way of saying goodbye to MySpace in all its craptastic-ness. See ya. Wouldn’t want to be ya.

After the digg

March 1, 2007 Follow Up, Geek Alert, News

I’ve seen a lot of articles about the [Digg Effect](http://blogs.tech-recipes.com/davak/2005/11/06/digg-effect-the-top-10-things-webmasters-should-know/) and what a site can expect after having a bunch of new visitors arrive to check out an article, as happened with my recent post on [Warcraft](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/seven-things-warcraft).

The general prediction is that readership drops to normal levels pretty quickly, and that’s borne out by the stats.

after diggPage views are a little higher post-Digg, but it’s nothing like the giant spike that happened in the middle of the Digg storm. Most of the people who clicked through were following a story about Warcraft; most of them weren’t screenwriters. (Living in Los Angeles, it’s easy to forget that there are some people in this big world who haven’t written a script.)

On a somewhat-related note, I’ve upgraded to the most recent WordPress, and the site seems to be running a little faster for it.

Blingons and despair

February 28, 2007 Awards, Challenge, Follow Up

[scene challenge]Measured by the number of entries, the first-ever [John August Scene Challenge](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/masturbating-to-star-trek) was a surprising success. In terms of quality, well, there was a disappointing sameness that I’m going to blame on the limited nature of the assignment.

Many entries were just a slightly-better version of the existing scene. While a lot of rewriting is polishing and optimizing, a challenge like this one should be seen as a call to arms. Fortune favors the bold, because really, what have you got to lose trying an outlandish approach? It’s not like you’re going to get voted off.Why hasn’t there been a competitive reality show about screenwriting? Oh, that’s right, because it would be incredibly boring.

That’s why I’m handing first place to Liz ([#57](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/masturbating-to-star-trek#comment-52995)), who went in a vastly different direction with the scene. It’s not perfect, but it’s disturbing in an interesting way, which counts for a lot. It’s like American Pie as remade by Lars Von Trier.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Lying in a hospital bed is all that remains of Shane, 19, former college athlete. A chart at the foot of his bed lists his diagnosis as bacterial meningitis, and chronicles a horrifying list of failed treatments and emergency surgeries he has undergone since his admission three days ago. Both his legs and his left arm are now amputated, bandaged-wrapped stumps.

Shane lies in bed, staring off into space. In the background, a television set bolted to the wall is playing an old episode of Star Trek. Shane begins to focus in on the television. The vacant expression on his face is slowly replaced by one of annoyance.

SCOTTY

I cannae do it, Captain! Not in three hours!

KIRK

We need that warp drive, Mr. Scott, and we need it now!

Shane’s eyes drift to where the remote control is located, on a small table to the left of his hospital bed. He moves his left arm-stump, attempting to get at it, but can’t.

SCOTTY

But sir, it’s impossible! You cannae change the laws of physics!

Making an heroic effort, Shane reaches across his body with his good right arm, and attempts to grab the remote. Unfortunately his effort knocks it on the floor. Shane slumps back on his pillow, staring at the ceiling and trying not to cry. He makes a concerted effort to think about something else. Meanwhile, the Star Trek has moved on to a scene with Kirk and a beautiful alien. Shane doesn’t want to watch, but can’t help it. There’s nothing he can do about it.

A quirky expression crosses Shane’s face as he suddenly realizes there may yet be something fun within his reach. He steals a glance around the room. An elderly man on a respirator is asleep in the next bed, but there are no nurses in sight. With his remaining good hand, Shane reaches underneath his sheets, and begins quietly pleasuring himself. He closes his eyes, enjoying it.

SAM

Shane!

Shane’s eyes pop open to see DUSTIN(19) and SAM(20) standing over his hospital bed, aghast.

DUSTIN

Oh my God.

SHANE

(embarrassed)

Guys! Uh, this isn’t as bad as it looks.

Sam and Dustin are speechless.

DUSTIN

Dude... That’s quite possibly the bravest thing I think I’ve ever heard anyone say.

SHANE

What?

SAM

You’re cut to pieces and you nearly died, and it’s not as bad as it looks?

SHANE

Oh... No, I mean, I wasn’t just, uh, whackin’ it to Star Trek... That’s just what’s on... The remote’s on the floor there...

SAM

(not knowing whether to laugh or cry)

Jesus.

A beat.

DUSTIN

It’s good to know you still got all the important parts.

SHANE

Guess I’m just lucky that way.

SAM

Dude, you could totally get a job as a sperm donor. I heard they pay fifty bucks a load!

SHANE

Oh yeah? I’m there, man.

Shane’s false bravado is slipping, and he barely gets out the previous line. He turns his head away from his buddies, and rubs his eyes against his left shoulder-stump.

DUSTIN

(glaring at Sam accusingly, but speaking to Shane)

We’ll come by later. We should let you get some rest.

SHANE

(still not looking at them as Dustin hurries Sam out)

Thanks, guys.

Alone again, with his masturbating success now overshadowed by the bleakness of his future prospects, Shane weeps silently, tears running down his cheeks and pooling on the bed.

Of the more conventional entries, my favorite was probably by Eric Szyszka ([#18](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/masturbating-to-star-trek#comment-52758)), who recognized that since the audience fully expects Shane to get caught whacking off, the real opportunity comes in reaching for unexpected references. In this case, Blingons.

INT. SHANE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

SHANE, 20’s, sits in front of his laptop. Circles encase his sleep-deprived eyes as he types away at his keyboard. A TV set blares in the background; he ignores it.

“Term paper” rests in the upper left-hand corner of the page.

Shane checks the time 6:30 AM. Early sunlight peeks through the window.

He suddenly gets a pop-up ad. A nude woman.

His brow raises and he clicks it.

ON SCREEN

A small chested woman.

SHANE

Mm, not bad. Not really my-

Shane stops in his tracks as he leers up to the TV.

ON TELEVISION

MARINA SIRTIS, portraying Counselor Deanna Troi in a low-cut top, is featured prominently in the shot.

Shane’s lips curl in delight. He starts to masturbate.

ON TELEVISION

LIEUTENANT WORF enters the scene.

Shane suddenly jumps back and grabs his remote.

SHANE

Thank god for TiVo.

He rewinds the scene.

Shane resumes.

DUSTIN, 20’s, Shane’s roommate, abruptly enters the room.

DUSTIN

You wouldn’t believe where I woke up this morning! Do you remember Cynthia?

ON TELEVISION

Lieutenant Worf enters the scene, just as before.

Dustin notices Shane.

DUSTIN

Jesus Christ, dude!

Shane quickly covers himself.

SHANE

Don’t you fucking knock?

DUSTIN

It’s my room too, dick. Wait a second, you jerk off to Blingons?

SHANE

NO!

(beat)

What the fuck is a Blingon?

DUSTIN

Black Klingon.

SHANE

Bling? That’s so wrong.

DUSTIN

Uh, no. B is for black, racist, not “black men wear jewelry.”

(beat)

This is too good not to wake Sam over.

Dustin bangs on the wall.

DUSTIN

Hey, Sam! Shane’s beats it to Blingons.

SAM (O.S.)

WHAT?

Sam staggers in; half asleep.

SAM

Dude, you like Michael Dorn?

SHANE

No, you fucking assholes. Okay, I was jerking off, you caught me. But I wasn’t doing it to Klingon or Blingons or whatever, okay? This is what I was jerking off to.

Shane rewinds the episode too far.

ON TELEVISION

The TiVo freezes on a frame of WESLEY CRUSHER – A 15 year old boy.

SAM

And goodnight.

Sam exits.

SHANE

No! It wasn’t-

Dustin starts to leave.

DUSTIN

I’m putting in a housing transfer.

I’m impressed by all the readers who took the time to enter.Yes, I did read the ones that came in late, or got eaten by the virtual dog. Notably, nearly every scene was better than original, which should give Shane plenty of ammunition to say, “Suck it, Sam.” I fully plan to do this again with a bit more open-ended assignment.

Do you agree or disagree with my assessments? The comments section is your chance to stump for what you think should have won. Just keep in mind that campaigning for your own entry is lame, and will probably be exposed.

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