While checking out the Technorati feeds, I noticed that the good folks over at LostBlog, mentioned my recent rant “Air vents are for air.” Naturally, the Google ad that followed the story was perfect for readers who wonder why cinematic air ducts are not only unrealistically large, but also surprisingly tidy:
This site is run by screenwriter John August. Mostly, he answers reader-submitted questions about the craft, but occasionally he goes on tangents that run far afield of writing and filmmaking. You'll also find info on past, present and future projects.
On Twitter: @johnaugust
If you have a question about screenwriting or my movies that hasn't been answered, by all means ask. There are a few guidelines to follow.
There are more than 900 articles on the site. You can find category archives at the bottom of every page.
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Articles
April 27th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
At the risk of starting the whole air duct thread all over again… Kudos to the writers of Die Hard for showing the dust that accumulates inside an air duct when John MacLean’s emerges from his hiding place; it was a shame it was deleted from the final print, but it’s there in the deleted scenes. Oh, and yes, the air duct was too big…
April 27th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Yeah, my blog has “Heating and Air Vent covers” and “Registers and Grilles” for the page where i wrote about (and took) your pledge!
April 27th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
I got google ads for my site because I wanted to mess with them, and I’ve never used online advertising before.
I am lucky if any ad is ever relevant, ever. I never really expected to make money from them, but I’m starting to think for a lot of sites, making money on adsense is impossible.
April 27th, 2006 at 6:43 pm
I think it’s better in the publishing and filmmaking worlds to become an Amazon Associate. Then you can recommend books and dvds that YOU choose to recommend to your visitors. Also, you can do it with nothing more than an unobtrusive hyperlink in mid-sentence.
April 27th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Funny thing, by them changing the color of the text that the google ad is in, they are technically violating their agreement with Google. I am also very happy that you have not done the whole “google ads in my blog” thing. Its nice to read a blog once and a while without ads.
April 27th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
john
that ad is for my business. we only clean air ducts that are the only route of escape from secured areas and offer the only hope for wayward protagonists of cliche-ridden movies. we do quite well.
z
April 27th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
Google Ads should never be on blogs, unless it is a corporate blog. I mean, it would be nice to make money on a personal site, but why alienate your readers?
April 27th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Google ads actually do extremely well on the right articles; they are just not a solution for every every page of every site.
One of my science/geeky web sites is called scienceaddiction.com and I kept getting drug rehabilitation and addiction therapy advertisements until I contacted Google. They must have put a filter or something, so now those ads have stopped!
April 28th, 2006 at 9:39 am
Someone should write that into their cliche driven comedy. Our hero is trapped in a secure building with gaurds everywhere. Their only escape: the air ducts. Our hero climbs through the conveniently loose grill and slides through man sized tubes – only to come face to face with the air duct cleaning service!
Sounds like a winner.
April 28th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Perhaps you should be their spokesperson?
“Hi, I’m John August. Please remember to keep your air ducts clean of all forms of debris… this includes dust, asbestos and cliched, muscled and trapped main characters.
Thank you.”
April 28th, 2006 at 10:25 pm
Oh no, why didn’t you say anything sooner?
Ah, well. We’ve already filmed it:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/poagao/133322479/
April 28th, 2006 at 11:41 pm
I think air duct cleaners would be similarly equiped to chimney sweeps. In other words, they don’t get into the small vents, they use very wide bristled brushes on extendable, flexible poles. I don’t think they’d have a bunch of slave labor orphans crawling through the tight spaces with a rag and spray bottle of cleaning solution. Although, finding the skeleton of a jumpsuited cleaner with said utensils in hand and gaping jaw, would be a nice encounter for the above script idea.
April 29th, 2006 at 12:19 am
Ah, but the whole point of the cliche is that the movies HAVE people crawling through air ducts all the time. Obviously they must be cleaned if they’re to be used so frequently for transport from room to room. And of course they are big enough to fit a large man and all his cleaning equipment without collapsing. They probably even turn off those laser security beams in Mission: Impossible for the cleaning guy to go through without tripping any alarms. Of course, he must not do a good job of cleaning if there are mice scurrying about . . . Such a secure building. I can’t believe Tom pulled it off.
April 29th, 2006 at 6:52 am
The AdSense algorithms look for words based on keywords in the article, unfortunately they are not terribly strong at gleaning context. Clients should be able to tweak context by for example registering the site with google as “screenwriting oriented”.
At their best AdSense ads are useful at their worst they are amusing but innocuous- esp if you restrict porn ads.
April 29th, 2006 at 6:31 pm
Actually, Google helps you make the ads look pretty much however you want. The entire point is to have them blend in with your site and look almost like content.
April 29th, 2006 at 7:18 pm
Sorry for the double post, but it dawned on me that I should have used a different link for my site, since this is a Lost discussion, I should plug The Lost Wiki!
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:20 pm
80% of air ducts that I see (yeah, I’m a home inspector/wannabe screenwriter) are filled with dust, dirt, and debris) so next time someone DOES include an air duct scene, it’d be neat to have them come out choking & covered with grime.
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:24 pm
Very funny. When I clicked on the blog link there was a similar ad for a duct-cleaning service operating in Melbourne, Australia (I’m in Australia). I guess Google just likes to keep all its ducts in a row.
May 3rd, 2006 at 8:59 pm
(rimshot)
May 5th, 2006 at 8:46 am
A word in Cameron’s defense: ALIENS is set in the future, on an alien planet. We know little about the atmosphere on Acheron (except that humans can breathe without oxygen masks), but it is plausible that due to the unearthly conditions an air duct system larger than common today (i.e. big enough for a person to crouch-run or possibly enter for maintenance and repairs!) is needed to pump sufficient air into the colony structure. Besides, the AC maze doesn’t lead to any super secure rooms. That’s why the device works in ALIENS. Point is, AC vents as a means of escape are great – as long as the setting allows for it in a sound and plausible way. P.S. ALIENS rules, ooh–rah!!!
November 4th, 2007 at 6:34 am
I don’t thnk Google approves AdSense for most blogs these days. The typical blog is hard to target, and AdSense on blogs not only doesn’t make the blogger much money, but also pisses off AdWords advertisers, who are responsible for Google’s being a multi-billion dollar company and only want their ads on productive, relevant sites.
Having said that, there are ways to direct Google to the relevant parts of your blog and posts, and Google does learn eventually. RTFM. You can’t judge it until a month or so has passed, and you won’t get site targeted ads for several months. Also, if you are constantly jiggering around the ads, it resets them and they have to learn all over again.