• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

John August

  • Arlo Finch
  • Scriptnotes
  • Library
  • Store
  • About

Scriptnotes Transcript

Scriptnotes, Episode 606: Character and Story Fit, Transcript

August 11, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/character-and-story-fit).

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Heads up that today’s episode has just a little bit of swearing in it.

Hello and welcome. My name is John August, and this is Episode 606 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

How do you know if you got the right characters for your story, and whether you got the right story for your characters? To help us solve this crucial piece of matchmaking, we welcome back Pamela Ribon, a screenwriter whose credits include Moana, Ralph Breaks the Internet, and the new Netflix feature, Nimona. Her short film, My Year of Dicks, was not only a previous One Cool Thing, it’s also an Oscar nominee. It made Craig giggle every time I said it. Welcome back, Pammy.

**Pamela Ribon:** Hi. Thank you for having me.

**John:** I’m so excited to have you on the podcast again. Full disclosure, you moderated a session very recently about screenwriting, and your questions were so brilliant so insightful, and you’re leading of the discussion. I actually suppressed my need to take over all those things. You know what I’m talking about.

**Pamela:** I do. This is the highest praise I’ve ever received. Thank you so much.

**John:** They were so, so good that I stopped myself in answering questions and didn’t try to redirect the question. I recognize you as a fellow podcast host. If at any point you feel you need to elevate yourself from just guest to podcast co-host, feel free.

**Pamela:** I will be your Craig as much as you need. I will take umbrage, but you will find that I’m a more empathetic umbrage person.

**John:** Yeah, but you have strong opinions though, and I like that too. You have strong opinions about craft. I really want to dig in and talk about craft. I also want to talk about recapping, because you were a recapper. I want to talk about that relationship between writing about film and television and writing film and television, what that is. I’ve got some listener questions. I’m excited to get to it.

Also, for a Bonus Segment for Premium members, I want to talk about your podcast, because you have a podcast called Listen to Sassy, which is all going through the back issues of Sassy Magazine and discussing the relevance then and the relevance now?

**Pamela:** Yes, and the official issues of Sassy Magazine, because there are some that we might say aren’t canon.

**John:** Wow. I did not even know that. I’m learning even as we start this podcast. Hey, let’s jump into this. Let’s talk about character and character fit, because this is a large part of the discussion we had a few weeks ago as we were talking. You started with a really smart question, which was, what is your favorite character that you did not create. I don’t remember what your answer for that question was yourself. What is a character that you wish you had created?

**Pamela:** What’s interesting is I wouldn’t have answered this in any other room, but the room we were in and the conversation we were having led me to answer Annie. What I’m going to say right now is Paddington in Paddington 2.

**John:** Let’s talk about Paddington in Paddington 2, because it’s a great movie. It’s a great character. Talk to us about, why is that a perfect movie for Paddington to be in, and vice versa.

**Pamela:** Part of why Paddington is perfect in Paddington 2… That movie is perfect. Perfect movie. This movie, imagine like double XL. This movie is perfect, because when you know what Paddington wants, from being a little bit in a book, which only this movie could do, from us knowing his backstory, which just happened, we’re just in. We’re just in. I remember saying out loud, “This is perfect.”

It’s not easy. I was so awed by how you can bring every single person in the whole wide world to understand, what if I could walk this person I love through the world, because of the book. I just need this book. I grew up with The NeverEnding Story and Annie. I think in the room, I answered Annie.

**John:** You did. I remember you answering Annie.

**Pamela:** Definitely. You love her.

**John:** Annie and Paddington are similar characters, in that they are not hugely flawed characters who have to learn a valuable lesson that transforms them. They start the movie with clean and simple wants. The movie wants to give it to them, but will make it difficult along the way.

**Pamela:** I think I am drawn to those characters, like in Whale Rider, or going all the way to the other end, secretary. I think I am drawn to characters who know who they are, but the world doesn’t understand them.

**John:** That’s so fascinating, because usually we think about, movies are journey of self-discovery, so over the course of the movie, the character has to learn about themselves and challenge their assumptions about what they’re able to do, in order to conquer the problem in front of them and to transform the world in front of them. They have to transform themselves in order to transform the world.

I think I brought this up in the room. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie Bucket is not a character who has to go through a big arc. The character in the book, he is a good kid from the start. I kept fighting these studio notes from like, “Oh, Charlie has to want it more. We have to see him struggle.” No, he’s actually a good, perfect kid. He does need to change the world around him, but he’s changing it in the way an antagonist changes the world, rather than protagonist. He doesn’t have to exit the movie profoundly changed from how he entered into it.

**Pamela:** I always think of characters are moving right, being right. I have a problem when they’re always moving right, always being right. I do think you have to find this balance of, you’re right, the world needs to know you’re right, and because the world is bending, you actually learn you can be wrong inside that right. That’s that end of second act feeling of, “Oh, shit. I didn’t have it all figured out, because no one let me grow.”

**John:** Let’s back up and talk about character and story fit, because I think so often, we are lectured that story comes from character, character want is what drives story. It’s true, but also, that’s generally not the starting place for an idea.

An idea is generally about like, “This is the world in which I want to tell the story. I want to tell a story about a character who does blank blank blank.” Then you’re backing into, who is the best, most appropriate character to put into that story.

It’s not so clean. It’s like, “I’m going to create a character in a vacuum and then set them in a world for a story.” That just never happens. It’s not a thing that a writer almost ever really experiences. Instead, they’re like, “This is the place in which the story needs to happen. Now we need to find who is the perfect character to tell that story.”

I’m wondering if we can talk about some animated movies, because they often are cleaner ways to get into this. For something like Moana, which you were writing on, was this like, “We want to tell a story about Pacific Islanders and this universe,” and then you had to find a character, or was there a clear like, “We want to tell a story of a chieftain’s daughter who goes on this quest.” What was the back and forth between the two of them?

**Pamela:** It’s a little of what you said on both sides, and also neither, let me say.

**John:** Perfect. That’s what it is. It’s complicated.

**Pamela:** It’s very complicated. I come in right after Taika Waititi had written a draft. My first day was a table read, which you’re just in the story trust, day one, like, “Welcome to this.”

I would say a lot of times, I am brought in when people are very comfortable with structure, they understand where they want it to go, but perhaps their female character could use some help owning the film.

**John:** Making sure they’re not a passenger in the film, but actually driving the film.

**Pamela:** Maui’s a very dominant character. In Taika’s hands, he was beyond charismatic, so what do you do? Moana at the time was only 13. She had a bunch of brothers. She wasn’t allowed to sail because she was a girl. That is where we started during my time there.

**John:** A lot had been done before you got there, so it wasn’t a completely clean slate. When you’re thinking about a movie from scratch, it’s that balance. Most of our listeners are probably thinking of their own thing they want to do. They will look through books that will tell them, oh, story comes from character. We’ve said it on the podcast. They may be beating themselves up, like, “I need to find this perfect character, and then the story will come out of that.”

That’s not necessarily a good solution, because I’ve had experiences where I absolutely love this character, I’ve been down a draft with a character, and I love this person, and they are just not the right person to base this movie around. I made the wrong choice. We often talk about how sidekicks steal movies, because they are characters who are just more interesting to watch in the world that we’ve created for ourselves.

**Pamela:** They’re there because your protagonist has to be on a straight line, and so they aren’t always allowed to be so chaotically funny. We enjoy our sidekicks, because they can just keep nudging at that protagonist, to say, “I think you need to change. I think you need to change. What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see what’s wrong with you? Isn’t it better to live like me?” That sidekick has some growing to learn. The protagonist is what’s actually going to help the world.

**John:** Exactly. I think back to Big Fish. For the adaptation of Big Fish, there’s a book that I could base it off of, but the book is really thin, and it only has sketches of these characters and situations. I went into the adaptation knowing who Edward was, knowing who Will, the son, was, which is basically a proxy for me. I knew that Will had a French wife, which I just created because I needed someone for him to talk to. Then I had to figure out everything else.

Those characters can feel very functional along the way. They’re getting me through a section of story. Then the trick is to make them feel like those were characters who were always there, who always had a reason and a purpose and own their life, you could make a story about them, even though they really were just functional for me in this story to tell this one bit of it. It’s that sleight of hand, where you feel like, oh, any one of these people could drive the story, but of course they couldn’t, because it has to be about this one time, event that this one character is going through.

**Pamela:** Going back to the question you asked me earlier, this is not true, but Taika likes to joke that all that’s left in the script from what he did is exterior ocean day. It’s not true. It’s not true, but it’s a very funny joke.

That was the part, going back to that question, that was interesting, because you had so many scenes that had no walls, they had no props. You’re two people maybe, or just Moana, on a boat. Ocean. Exterior ocean day. That is not a world that is populated.

When you think about moving on to something like Ralph Breaks the Internet, where the whole world is very important. In fact, you can’t make some of these characters exist until you understand what this internet world looks like in the, quote unquote, room they might be in. You’re like, “Oh, I understand a knowledge base, a data search engine was that character.” In terms of Moana, you have the endless sea.

**John:** Can I ask you a question? I remember looking at the initial posters. I went in and saw early art on Moana. I got a talking through of who the different characters were. Some of those characters did not make it through to the movie. I can say that specifically there was a poster that released that showed the pig on the boat.

I feel like my instinct was that some of those characters were brought along on the journey just so there would be stuff to do on those boat journeys, as we were off on sea, exterior ocean day. They ultimately were not crucial to the story. They probably got trimmed, maybe late in the process. That’s the kind of discovery that can happen in animation particularly, because you just got to keep iterating and iterating and iterating. Without spoiling, revealing any NDA stuff, am I kind of right?

**Pamela:** Listen. Look. How old is this? Are these NDAs still happening? I feel like I’m just going to tell you. First of all, like I said, she was younger when I was writing on the script.

I can talk to you about Pua, who was named Kuni [ph] when I was working on it, because kuni means pig. So does Pua. That pig originally went with her, because you also learned how she had rescued this pig as a little tiny runt that was going to be left to die. She brought that pig home and raised that pig. That was her pig.

There was something about having Pua along on the journey that made the stakes a little too high. I totally understand this was past my time, but you’re just like, “She can’t just leave the boat.” I knew this feeling. She left the boat to go somewhere else. You’re like, “I don’t care about Hei Hei, but you can’t leave Pua. He’s such a sweet piggy.”

**John:** No one cares about the chicken.

**Pamela:** Yeah. The sweet piggy can’t be… It became too high of stakes, actually, for her to continue her journey. I do understand Pua’s going to stay home, because otherwise, you’ve brought a puppy on your boat, and how are you supposed to leave that puppy in a lava realm? You just can’t. It’s too scary.

**John:** Let’s talk about the room and animation, because we had Jennifer Lee on the show, and she was talking about her experience on Frozen and coming in at a place where they had a lot of the pieces, and they couldn’t make all the pieces fit. A lot of it was figuring out, “Okay, what do we have here? How do we get back to this central relationship? How do we make this all work?”

As a feature writer, I’m mostly used to working alone, or I get notes from a person, or I work with a director. There’s TV writers who are used to working in a room of other writers. As an animation writer, you can find yourself in situations where you’re at these big tables, where it’s not just other writers, it’s a bunch of other people from other departments. You’re all having to talk through these things. You’re having to figure out how do we synthesize these ideas and get back to a place.

If you’re the writer who’s coming in on a project like Moana or Ralph Breaks the Internet, how do you take all that in and synthesize this and give them back something they need? At what point do you stop talking and start writing and show scenes? What is that like for you?

**Pamela:** Much like in TV, it’s different in every room. It’s led by that showrunner, who will be your director, or directors. They set the tone. Moana and Ralph and Smurfs, so whatever, each one is a very different room.

I would say what’s interesting, coming into animation when I did, was a real specific change, probably Pixar led, of, hey, a writer might have something to say in this room and might have some reason to be talking to you.

What I found really cool was, this might be because I moved around a lot, but part of it was looking at each room and going, “Oh, okay. Oh, so now I’m talking to mostly visual artists,” whose brains are already adding. They take a sequence and think of it as five minutes. They’re already adding and plussing, which is why we have the best stuff in animation, because each person is really filling it to the top of their own game.

How do you talk to that person without stifling them, while also explaining, like, “You don’t have to think about the other 88 minutes, but I do. This scene is great. Put everything you want in it, but just make sure this happens and this happens and at the end it’s this. If we can do that together, if you do that on your own… ”

I think I prefer working with storyboard artists, because they’re able to give me what exterior ocean day looks like, or interior Fale night. I don’t really know what that means. Interior Ebay day. Once I can see what they see, I can show them what I think they should say. Then together, we can make something that you can pitch back to a director, that is more fully formed than either of us can do on our own.

You don’t get that option often in a TV writing room, unless you’re off in a B-room or whatever, and you’re all like, “Let’s hope these jokes make it.” It’s the same skill.

**John:** In TV though, you don’t have the chance to iterate, where you see, “What was this? What did it look like? Great. Now let’s go back,” because in TV, ultimately you’re still delivering a script, which will then go off to another group of people who will make the show. You’ll have, hopefully, writers there to help oversee it. You don’t get that chance to like, “Oh, everyone’s looking at the same thing. What are we going to do for this next pass?”

**Pamela:** I started in more multi-cams. You did have a rehearsal. Everybody’s on their feet. Everybody’s giving input. You also have a lot of weird downtime, because you’re a staff writer, and learning what to do with all of that time and then learning what everyone else does. I would say for any room I’m in or any job I’m on, while doing the job, I also want to know, what can I learn from this?

**John:** Of course.

**Pamela:** I would say that, from working in IBM tech support before I moved out to LA, all the way to anime dub jobs or working in reality television and recapping, all of that leads into what I’m doing in a Disney room, where I’m talking to people who are seeing what I’m saying, before I’m even done saying what I’m saying, and just knowing how to pick up all these words, which you do as a writer once you’re in the edit bay or you’re in casting or whatever. These are just different words. It’s their language.

**John:** Now, I have made a lot of animated movies, but weirdly, the movies that I’ve worked on have been much more like traditional features, where I’ve delivered a script, here’s the script, or I will get reel back, but then I’ll change stuff in the reels. It’s not been that sort of collaborative thing, because it’s mostly been stop-motion.

In stop-motion, you get that one shot to shoot something, and there’s not the iteration there is in either traditional animation or computer animation. We don’t get to do the kinds of things you see in Disney features. I remember going in on some Disney features that I was shocked what a mess the project was, and like, “Is this coming out in a year? Are you serious?”

**Pamela:** That’s a good screening five is what I’m going to guess, when you’re running screening four, screening five of a-

**John:** I’m like, “Oh, god.” Then somehow, it does come together, which is just remarkable. It’s a strange thing for me to see. You have to trust the process that you’ll get there, to the right place. I guess you don’t always get to the right place, but you often get to the right place.

**Pamela:** It’s tough to trust the process, I think, depending on where you are in the situation. How do you trust the process when you’re not given access to the whole thing all the time?

**John:** That’s the thing. In many cases, I haven’t gotten full access, or it was so clear, the movie is shooting in London, and I just know they’re going to make it happen, or it’s Tim Burton, he’s going to shoot exactly what’s there, and so it’s going to work.

Giving up control for any writer on any project is part of it. It’s recognizing that it’s never going to be exactly what you saw in your head. With animation, sometimes the timelines are so long and the iterations are so many, that you could really lose a sense of what the intention was.

**Pamela:** Yeah. I think the trick is knowing that you’re usually not the first, and probably not going to be the last, unless you’re like, “This movie’s coming out in six months. I got it. I got it. I’m going to get credit. It’s going to be great.”

You just stay very invested, in the time that you’re there, to do the thing that you know the movie needs the most work in, which is either our main characters, our dynamic of our most important relationship is not zinging, or, “Man, this first act is too long. How can we care about them sooner?” and shoot the movie.

Animation in particular I think needs long first acts, that eventually we cut, once the movie is like, I feel this moment, the movie has begun. That takes a little while to find.

**John:** The gears click in.

**Pamela:** Yes, because the last thing animation looks for are characters.

**John:** Say more about that.

**Pamela:** They start from a world that’s impossible to do in live action, or you do it in live action. You have to start in this like, “What is the internet? What would the internet look like?” Just taking that one as an easy answer.

Once you try to figure out how a place can be both something you’ve never seen before and a place that feels like, “Of course I’ve been here, because I’m here all the time theoretically, but I’ve never seen it,” then you’re like, “Who should go through this journey and make us feel the most like us going through this crazy world we’ve never seen before?”

**John:** Yeah, but in this case of the internet, you have characters you’re bringing back for another movie. Yes, you’re going to create supporting characters who are going to be exactly right for that, but you cannot create your two central characters. You have to create a world that is going to challenge them and their relationship and still be rewarding for the world itself. That’s a big ask.

**Pamela:** That’s very astute, because you’re taking two characters who only know old-school video games and an arcade that’s not visited as often, because there’s this internet. What would they do in this infinite world?

There was a want at one point that kicked off the movie. It didn’t last, but it’s still one of my favorites, where Vanellope could see a little bit beyond the door every time the arcade was closed. The only thing she could see was Yoshinoya beef bowl. She just wanted to know what that… It just sounded so perfect.

**John:** Oh my god, what a great lyric to sing. (singing:) Yoshinoya. Yoshinoya.

**Pamela:** (singing:) Yoshinoya beef bowl. She was just like, “Doesn’t it sound perfect? I just want to know what it is. I want to eat it if I can, or swim in it if I must. I just want to know what that is.” That was that idea of eventually Slaughter Race, of, I want to know this thing that makes me feel like that’s where I’m supposed to be. Originally, they were just going to get online and try to find the Yoshinoya people. I think we moved into bitter yearnings.

That’s the idea of how do you get a character that you know and love, in a sequel, how do you get a character you know and love to want just the next step, so that you have the same wonderful feelings that you’re visiting your old friends, but you have a new adventure? That’s very hard in a sequel, because your protagonist is arced.

**John:** Yeah. They’ve gotten all the way through it. Toy Story, god bless them. Those characters arced and arced, and we’re going to make them arc more. It’s a challenge.

**Pamela:** We’re going to get hard in there. We’re going to cause forever scars on people who watch this.

**John:** Let’s go back to some of your forever scars. I want to talk about recapping, because for folks who don’t know, could you explain what recapping is or was? Because I feel like there’s a whole generation that may have just not experienced this as a thing, but it was so important to me as a person who was growing up on the internet.

**Pamela:** First, imagine the internet as a place where you read. You just read. You go there to read more about what you saw. It is something you’re doing to look like you’re working. That’s what’s great about the fact that it’s a lot of reading. You look very busy.

Television Without Pity started as Mighty Big TV, which was actually an offshoot of DawsonsWrap, which Tara Ariano and Sarah Bunting and Dave Cole had made, which was recapping Dawson’s Creek episodes. It’s the idea of, you’re sitting on a couch with a friend, and the two of you are talking the entire episode of your favorite guilty pleasure, because it’s way more fun to watch something like that with a friend.

When Television Without Pity came out as Mighty Big TV, I don’t even remember how many there were the first year, 10 shows maybe. I don’t know. It was a bunch of us that had been writing on their other sites, like Hissyfit and Fametracker.

**John:** What year would this have been? I looked it up on Wikipedia.

**Pamela:** Is it ’98 or ’99?

**John:** It’s ’98. ’98 is when the first one was.

**Pamela:** I know where I worked. I still have my first recap handwritten in a Mead notebook. It is 20-something pages, handwritten, of Get Real. Get Real.

**John:** Get Real.

**Pamela:** Do you know Get Real? You shouldn’t, but let’s see if you can remember one actor from Get Real. It was on Fox on Wednesday nights.

**John:** That helps. Greg Evigan?

**Pamela:** Nope, but I love where you’re starting.

**John:** Tell me who. Give me an actor.

**Pamela:** Anne Hathaway.

**John:** Wow, Anne Hathaway on a Fox show.

**Pamela:** I’m not done. Are you ready? Eric Christian Olsen.

**John:** Oh yeah, of course.

**Pamela:** Jesse Eisenberg.

**John:** Wow, nice.

**Pamela:** Taryn Manning. Jon Tenney, and others.

**John:** That was the same year as Go. It was when we were filming Go. It’s that caliber of those people.

**Pamela:** I was learning about you while I was writing for Get Real. The reason that most people didn’t see it and it didn’t last forever was, it was on opposite a new show called The West Wing.

**John:** Yeah, I’ve heard of that show. There’s a guy, Aaron Sorkin was the guy who wrote that.

**Pamela:** Yeah, he’s still around. I hear he’s still doing things. Good for him.

**John:** You were assigned to recap Get Real, or you volunteered to recap Get Real.

**Pamela:** I was assigned it.

**John:** What does a recap consist of? The show’s airing live on Fox. How quickly are you supposed to be putting up this recap? How long was a recap? Really, what is the purpose of a recap?

**Pamela:** It morphed over the years. I moved on to things like Gilmore Girls, which I did for five years. Over the years, and as it got popular, we had to deal with what those demands were.

I would say originally, you had to record that so that you could watch it again. Later, we used to have to do these recaplets, which were very fast, here’s what you missed, if you were just waiting the next morning to find out what happened, and you missed it, because you used to be able to miss television.

Essentially, you would then write these, I did call them dissertations, because they felt that way, where you took each scene or each episode and talked about where the characters were on their journey, what was happening, and often, how you felt as a viewer watching this. That led to jokes, and sometimes inside jokes.

I had these two patron saint of televisions, I don’t know if you remember this, from gift shops. There were these glow-in-the-dark Saint Clares. And they were the patron saint of television. And I had two under my TV. And I used to let them sometimes do some dialog when I was bored with an episode.

You would just try to make an entertaining recap, which was, “Here’s what happened scene by scene. Here’s where it’s working. Here’s where I don’t like it.” It’s weird to say now, because it does feel like it’s common now to see these versions everywhere. They would be 12 to 20 Word doc pages of deep diving into what’s going on.

The people who were reading it and writing back, that was also really early internet feedback, a forum that was super popular, that then became something that you know people in LA and writers’ rooms were reading and changing the writers… It makes so much sense to me now that a writers’ room is obsessed with the one thing writing about writers.

**John:** That’s what I want to get into, because that feedback loop has to be really strange. It would be impossible if somebody were recapping my show and actually deep diving into it, to not read that thing and think about that thing, because that person is a super fan, but also a super critic. It’s the person who wants the show to be better, the person who’s studying the show more obsessively than-

**Pamela:** Anyone.

**John:** … some of those writers in the room.

**Pamela:** It’s your actual audience in many ways, and accessible in a way that we had not had before. It’s not a Nielsen. There’s no dial I could hit. I was telling you, “Here’s where I felt my intelligence was insulted. Here’s where I cried and called my mom.” That’s feedback. How could that not affect a room?

I think often now about a story editor or a co-producer who read a recap and was like, “That’s fucking what I said. When we were pitching this out, I knew this was a problem. No one listened to me. Now here she is saying this is insulting and I wish it were this.” I wonder what it did to a writers’ room back then to have anybody validating someone whose job in the room is to not be validated, but to be a part of the room.

**John:** The tone of recapping was also very specific, because it was love, but it was also snark. We were coming out of Spy magazine, Entertainment Weekly. There was a tone there that was very specific. It was smart. It wasn’t mean, but it was poky.

Did you ever scale back your snark? How did you moderate the tone of these things? A Gilmore Girls, it feels like you’re going to approach that differently than you would approach maybe a reality competition show. Talk to us about that.

**Pamela:** That’s why I didn’t really do many of those. I have a lot of thoughts about snark, having grown up with it, into it, and out of it. I think for me, snark was important. I don’t know that we need snark right now. I think snark at the time was important to say, “Can’t we do better than this? Is this enough? Is this okay?” I think now when we say, “Is this okay? Is this enough?” we say it like we all know that this is wrong and someone isn’t addressing what’s already wrong. I think snark at the time was, we’re just supposed to be fine with this, but we all know that maybe this is not good enough.

I would see sometimes snark taken to a mean place. That was just never the idea. We’re not just here to call this person an asshole. Let’s back it up with some things.

**John:** It’s important to note that recaps are always talking about the characters and not the actors. Is that correct?

**Pamela:** Yeah. Yes. Sometimes that actor blurs. Sometimes you’re like, “This actor is acting in my scene with a character.” I couldn’t recap now. I definitely couldn’t.

When I started working in reality television, where I was a logger, which meant I watched unedited footage of The Bachelor, in the middle of the night, until 5:00 in the morning, and wrote everything I saw, and flagged anything that was maybe interesting to a writer. That’ll mess your brain up.

**John:** I’m sure. It just burns a hole. It’s like doing coverage on scripts, where just like, “Oh god, I’m reading all these scripts. None of this will ever get made. I have to write this detailed synopsis of the things that don’t actually make sense.”

In the case of logging, you’re just looking at all the raw footage and seeing is there any moment that’s worth pulling out here, so that the editors can snip that out, and some assistant editor could keep in a bin to put into the cut. Lord.

**Pamela:** I was a pretty good logger, but I shouldn’t have been a logger, which is probably true to anybody, if you read what I wrote. I had to watch two hours of Lorenzo Lamas on a motorcycle. Not a lot to pull from there.

**John:** No one should have to do that.

**Pamela:** I watched a guy make salmon. I also watched a girl sit alone in a room that they wouldn’t let her leave, waiting on a date that was running late because of time, just because of producers and the show. That wasn’t what they were going to show. I ended up making a fake monologue for her, because I couldn’t stare at this shot of a girl sitting alone at a table, not moving, for two hours of my own life.

**John:** You weren’t allowed to fast-forward through that?

**Pamela:** No. What if she does anything interesting?

**John:** I just feel like a little command-J there and speed through there and just see if she’s now… Wow.

**Pamela:** You’re also supposed to, a little bit, transcribe. Sometimes someone would open the door and be like, “Are you thirsty?” She’d be like, “I’m okay.” If she rubs her nose in a way where you could use that clip later-

**John:** That’s right.

**Pamela:** … that’s it. You’re watching the whole thing. I also got the flu during that. It made me have an idea for a book that I wrote, because I think that’s what my brain does is when my time is being wasted, I start thinking a way out.

**John:** What this could mean, how this could be worthwhile outside of this impossibly not worthwhile thing you’re doing.

**Pamela:** Where that helps in animation is you can get so stuck on a moment that needs to happen that nobody can back all the way up. Also, most of the people in the room shouldn’t back all the way up. A writer can go, “Okay, oh my gosh. I’m just going to take a hundred steps back and look. Why are we doing this? What needs to happen later? Why are we even here right now? We know what needs to happen later.”

I think that is the benefit of a writer in the room with everybody at the intensity and sophicity [sic] level that storyboard artists have to and should be owners of what they’re given, and the director or directors have to be owners of thousands of people asking them questions.

The benefit of your writer, if you know what to do with your writer, your writer just looks at you and goes, “That’ll work,” like in surgery. “That’ll work. This is great. That won’t work, and I’ll tell you why.” A director that can be a little bit flexible with the writer, and think through that without feeling like someone’s yanking your Jenga, that’s a great writer-director relationship, to go, “Thank you. You are my scaffolding. Will my characters be okay through this new shiny thing that I think is really funny?” You just figure out all the iterations so that you can keep all the parts you really loved and get rid of the parts that weren’t working.

I think by the time you get to screening seven or eight, I always think of them as seasons, you’re like, “We have the villain from Season 2 talking to the love interest from Season 4. Now it’s really going. It’s all the things we liked in Season 1. It’s all working.”

**John:** So often, as I come in to work on movies that are going in production or about to go in production or in crisis, it is those conversations where everyone has their opinions. They’re trying to make their movie, but they’re not all the same movie. As the writer, I have to come in and understand which movie each person’s trying to make and get them onto the same page and honor the choices that they’re trying to do and get them to all making the same movie. It’s a writing skill, but it’s very much a psychology skill.

**Pamela:** Definitely.

**John:** It’s being comfortable in the room, making people feel heard, but also leading them to a decision. It’s like a hostage negotiator.

**Pamela:** I always think of it as the therapist. “How does this script feel for you today? Are you up here? Are you down here?” The difficulty is, some of the people in the room are empowered all the way to level 10, and some people know they’re actually level 11 or 12 or 13, but they haven’t told anyone. You can sense as the writer, where you’re like, “Oh, I can help this person’s vision, but it’s ultimately this group’s mandate. How can I make everyone feel good and still be myself? Why did you bring me in? You could hire a therapist, but you actually need someone who can make these characters sing in the way that you’re all hoping for, the feeling you’re looking for.”

**John:** It’s always so tough when you’re trying to deal with the actor and the director, and you realize the actor and director have tension with each other about a completely unrelated thing, that is sometimes a wardrobe thing, and that you’re not going to be able to get an agreement on the two of them on the story point because of this other thing. You just have to accept that and, again, do your best work and try to provide what the movie needs, even if it’s not necessarily solving this crisis moment right in front of you. It’s tough. Sometimes just remembering that it’s hard and it’s not your fault that it’s hard. It’s hard because it’s hard.

**Pamela:** It’s hard because it’s hard. I think what’s unique about animation is you do get a lot of shots on goal, and so you can hear what you heard in the room and what you recorded and all the different takes that you asked, because you couldn’t possibly guess. They’re not in a room together. You don’t often have these actors acting together. You’re putting together does this feel right. You’re like, “Oh, you know what it is, is we rushed this part.”

You can go in the edit bay and record something really fast and put it up in scratch, and see does that work, where you’re just like, “I’m so sorry, Ralph. I didn’t know.” You’re like, “Does that make everything better?” Before you’ve booked everybody and cost all this money, you can try it in these little places. There’s no other world where you get to do that.

**John:** In live action features and television, you can do some little things. You can put in some scratch. You can make some experiments. You’re never going to really get people back. If you’re ADR-ing lines, something’s gone wrong generally, so it’s tough.

**Pamela:** In animation, you have so many more chances to have them. What you don’t want is for them to come in and go, “What happened to this awesome arc I used to have?” They’re like, “We had to throw it out, because it turns out you’re not the main character.” These aren’t things you can say. One shouldn’t, if you want your actor. You want all the talent to be as excited as they should be about the part that they’re in, because they’re so great. How can you keep a lot of it from them, so that they don’t feel, “Oh, it’s my responsibility to get back to what it used to be,” because it isn’t. It just isn’t. Nobody’s working against their talents.

To be able to be in a room and have everybody scratch these characters a lot, which is what we did in Ralph, it was five or six of us doing all the voices, until we were like, “We’re ready to go.” Then an actor could really go forward with these scenes.

In the case of that film, there were some actors who wanted to be in the room together when they acted, and we could make that happen. Then a lot of times, it was just me reading with Gal Gadot, just being like, “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. It’s going to be fine. I’ll just sit here in a room with Gal Gadot and hope she likes it.”

**John:** If you’re in there with Gal Gadot, are you playing Sarah Silverman’s character? Are you doing the voice opposite her?

**Pamela:** Yeah.

**John:** It feels kind of right?

**Pamela:** Yeah, so she has something to play with.

**John:** Fun.

**Pamela:** And vice versa. I also was Gal for Sarah. You want them to be able to look at… They have someone to look at. You’re in a room that has nothing. Exterior ocean day, interior recording studio afternoon. Nobody’s in hair and makeup. Nobody looks like the character they’re playing. I’m trying to be very quiet and not pick up on their mic. I want her to feel as there as she can be, so that we can have a real moment, because a lot of those scenes were, for Vanellope, heart-to-hearts with Gal’s character.

That room is silent. I’ve been in the room recording, where you can’t hear the other room. You’ll say a line three times, and then you just see them all talking, and maybe even fighting, but you can’t hear any of it. You’re just like, “Cool, cool.” They’ll come back and be like, “That was fine.” You’re like, “I know that wasn’t fine.”

**John:** That wasn’t. There was disagreement.

**Pamela:** Someone’s mad at someone. If you’re in that quiet, quiet room with an actor, the nice thing is you get to be together on stage and just make a scene happen. It’s something I could’ve never predicted would happen in my life, but I’ve been in a quiet, tiny room with some really incredible performers and gotten to see what they look like when they’re acting, without anything but themselves.

**John:** Exciting.

**Pamela:** It helps as a writer.

**John:** Absolutely. That experience of just, we’ve written dialog, but how do we actually make this line land, is tough.

**Pamela:** Because they don’t have their body, they don’t have their hair, they don’t have a smirk. They don’t have their fucking gorgeous eyes. They have what they can say.

To get someone still enough to also be screaming in pain sometimes, but still, but not stomping or clapping or anything that we are naturally, like the slapping of thighs that every actor wants to do. You can’t do any of it. It is so limiting, that at least the life vest, whatever I am over them, the buoy, whatever it is, someone else that you can look at and go, “Can I at least say these lines with you?” It’s very helpful.

I find it an honor to be able to be in those situations where they’re also saying the things that you wrote. If they just look at you and go, “Is that right?” As a writer, you very rarely get to be like, “What do you want to say? How can we make this happen?” That’s great.

**John:** It is great. Let’s answer some listener questions.

**Pamela:** Yay.

**John:** We have a couple of little crafty ones I thought might be good. Drew, can you start us off with Denise?

**Drew Marquardt:** Denise writes, “What criteria do you use to choose the sex of a character, mainly supporting characters, when it could go either way? Do you play against type, or do you go conservative?”

**John:** Sex and gender of characters and assumptions about who that doctor, that engineer should be, what the mix is. Pamela, what’s your instinct? If there’s no reason why a character needs to be male or female, what are you thinking?

**Pamela:** My instinct is something I haven’t seen before. That’s where I’ll start, if it can happen. I have also seen where I didn’t do that. I thought I was doing something I hadn’t seen before, and then someone would flag, that character is actually pretty stereotypical, that you’re using to have your new scene in with this other character.

That’s something I learned, where I’m trying so hard to make a protagonist unique that I will accidentally surround them in something you’ve seen before, to help show how unique they are. Let’s call it the first and last time that that was flagged, I really was like, wow, I would’ve never noticed that I had done that without someone going, “What if it’s not this other person in the room that you’ve seen before?”

**John:** We’ve talked on the podcast before about Black judge syndrome, Black lieutenant syndrome. I don’t know if I ever mentioned this on the podcast, but there was a project I was brought in to rewrite, and the main character had a sister who was gone a lot. The draft I received, she was a flight attendant. In the rewrite, I made her a pilot. The producer said, “No, there are no women pilots.” I’m like, “But… ” The female producer said, “There are no women pilots.” I’m like, “I don’t know, I think there might be more female pilots than there are female producers at your level.”

It was a really strange comment, because I thought the pilot thing actually made a lot of sense. It tracked more with this woman’s sense of responsibility and control of her life. I got shut down, so she’s a flight attendant in the final movie. I think it’s always worth pushing against those things.

What I would caution Denise though is look at the choices you’re making. If the choice is going to be distracting in a way that pulls from your story, think about why that is and how do you have it support the needs of that scene, rather than pushing against the needs of that scene.

**Pamela:** It’s also seeing where and when your movie is set, and so that character can be different than default, because theoretically you’re past now. I wrote on a space thing where I wanted an astronaut that was essentially Lizzo.

**John:** Great.

**Pamela:** It was pretty soon after the thousand tampons for Sally Ride and all that stuff of like, “Women in space, what do you need?” Even maybe you can make a suit that is not just one suit for a dude. Even that, in exciting that character, which I was like, “This is where that should be,” there were times when I noticed I was trying to over-explain why that was okay. That wasn’t my job in the script, to pitch why this character was okay. It should just be, and also this character, because we’re in the future, and maybe we’re evolved. We can make space suits in other sizes.

**John:** I was talking with a writer about his script, and there was a police lieutenant. There’s a police detective and a police lieutenant in it. They had a scene in the police lieutenant’s office about the police detective overstepping. I’m like, “I don’t think you can have that scene. I just don’t know that there’s a version of that scene that is not going to feel tropey tropey tropey trope. We’ve seen the TV version of that just too many times. You’re going to have to change. I would say just get it out of that office. See if that lieutenant’s actually the crucial person to be giving that information or if you even need to get that information, because it’s just such a stock moment. It’s not just a stock character. It’s a stock moment to have your cop protagonist be challenged by the authority figure on this thing. You need to find a different way into it.”

**Pamela:** Once you’ve seen puppets do that scene…

**John:** Absolutely.

**Pamela:** Once puppets have done it, you get to retire the scene. You get to say, “Here we are. The puppets have done it. We’re done here.”

**John:** Let’s go to Bradley’s question.

**Drew:** Bradley asks, “What do you do when you realize you’ve grossly underestimated your page count? How can I better construct my outlines so I’m landing closer to my goals? I’m working from a 37-page detailed outline, and the parts I expected to land around page 25 or 30 are actually landing around page 45. At this rate, this spec is going to wind up around 140 pages instead of the 100 pages I planned. In retrospect, I may have overstuffed the outline.

Generally, I find cutting huge swaths of the script to be much harder than cutting an outline, but I’m already midstream, and the story feels like it’s working. What would you do in this situation? Finish the story and then cut, or go back to the drawing board, re-outline, and start over? How can I change my outlines to more accurately gauge how long something will be in a script?”

**John:** Bradley, I think you’re fine. I think something that’s 45 pages, they thought was going to be 30, that’s a really common scenario for me. Pamela, I see you nodding here.

**Pamela:** Yeah, for sure. I was like, “You’ve gone past your outline pages?” I find myself with the opposite problem all the time.

**John:** Oh, really?

**Pamela:** Oh, yeah.

**John:** You’re a big outliner? You outline deep deep deep?

**Pamela:** No. My scripts end up being short short short. I don’t like to outline, which is probably my why scripts end up short. I think what Bradley’s got is a trilogy he doesn’t know about. Write the whole thing, and then figure out, when I’m reading this, when do I think the movie has begun. Probably page 28 if your script’s that long. You’ll find your midpoint is something different than you thought it was. Then a lot of that stuff was just for you to know your characters really well. You’ll figure out, oh, these first 15 pages are actually better as a one-page scene, or this thing happens in a gas station. We learn all of that stuff. I find that to be the fun part.

I don’t like first drafts, but that second draft of, “Oh, here’s what I’m working with. How do I make it look like a real script?” is fun to go, “This is too long. This is too short. This isn’t enough.” I find a lot what I think will be my end of second act is actually the midpoint, because I think that’s going to be huge, but when I make the whole thing, I’m like, “Oh, that wasn’t as big as where I ended up going.” That end of Act 2 is actually that midpoint moment of, “This is actually much bigger than we ever thought.”

If I end up in something that is let’s say 120 pages, I don’t know if that ever happens, but let’s say I get into 118 when I want 99. That’s usually what I find, is I’ve missed where the moment of everybody going, “This is bigger than we thought it was. I have more moments for bad guys closing in than I thought.”

**John:** Like you, I’m by my nature not a planner, and so I’m not a person who does detailed outlines, except on projects where I’ve been required to do it. Then it’s always like, “Oh my gosh, I have this outline. I know what it is, the next thing I need to do. That’s exciting. I know what my daily work is going to be, a little bit more clearly.”

Writing the Arlo Finch books, with those, I would have a sense of like, “Oh, this is what happens in this sequence.” I would think, “Oh, this will be a chapter,” and it’ll be three. I could never accurately predict it.

Now that I have 20 years of screenwriting experience, I have a much better sense of how many pages it’s going to take to do a thing, how many pages it’s going to take to do a moment and land that. You’re probably new, Bradley, and so this is all the first time you’re experiencing it. I would say don’t be so worried about the match of your outline to your script. You’re just trying to figure out how many pages it takes to deliver a moment. It’s not a function of your outline. It’s a function of how you write.

**Pamela:** That’s right, Bradley. You’ll learn as you do this more often, where you’re like, “Oh, that’s going to take me five days. That’s actually three pages. This outline is so long in the beginning, but it’s really only going to be four pages. For you to understand what I’m talking about, I’m going to take three or four pages of outline space to just explain this crazy world that you may not understand, because you haven’t seen it before. It’s not your fault. I have to walk you through how we got to why we’re making this film.”

That stuff probably won’t go in your script, because you have an establishing shot or an opening scene that says all of that, that your outline can’t. Your outline can’t. It’s not for your script. Your outline’s not for your script. Your outline is for other people to let you go write your script.

**John:** Or your outline is for yourself, to remind you what it is… It’s the plan for your plan. If it’s helpful for your process, that’s great. I just often feel like writers get forced into outlines that don’t ultimately serve them well. They get handcuffed to outlines that were never the right plan for making the movie.

**Pamela:** What I do for that, I think of a beat sheet, but I really am making a Claire Danes board of notes and lines and all kinds of things that will eventually all mostly go into the script. You can’t hand that to anyone. When I think of a beat sheet, that’s for me. That’s a cleaned up version of my chaos on the wall. It’s just for me. An outline, just a pitch. It’s a book report of what you’re about to write. I try not to do a lot of dialog in an outline. I will do it if you end up in these script-ment places where you’re doing a treatment script half thing. You can do it in an outline.

What I think is missing a lot, that helps you so much if you can put it in there, is your tone. If a outline reads dry, people are going to be worried about your script. The faster your outline sounds like what you’re writing and how the characters live, the more successful that outline’s going to be. You don’t have to worry about how many pages. It can actually be even shorter for what you show people. You can keep your 40-page outline, but you can give them 18 pages of a tight version of what it feels like to watch your film.

**John:** Exactly. While I have you here, when we were at the Austin Film Festival, I remember sitting in the restaurant, and Craig came down. He was incredibly sick, and then he went back up. You talked through this project that you were pitching. If I get this wrong, correct me.

How you were pitching this, it was all on Zoom, but you would start the Zoom meeting and talk to the executives you were pitching to. They’d say, “At this moment, we’re going to give you a link that you can click through, and you can all watch this prepared video that is the pitch, and then rejoin us on the Zoom.” Is that what you actually did?

**Pamela:** Yeah. This started because we had lockdown. Originally, we were all going to be in a room. I was working with animators in Austin. They were like, “Oh, our travel budget got cut. We’re not allowed to fly anywhere. What is it, two weeks?” I was like, “It’s going to be a little longer than two weeks.” I said, “Let’s duplicate the feeling of pitching in the room.”

I tell everybody this still. I still do it. What’s great about making your own 8 to 13-minute Vimeo pitch is you are controlling it. You only do it once. You get to give it to everyone and say, “Hey, here’s this. You’ve met us all. You think we’re great. Instead of staring at my eyes not looking at you, here’s something where I’ve given you visuals while I’m talking, and I’m showing you what the thing will feel like.

This was Slam, for my graphic novels. I ended in a sizzle reel that I got to make with a talented editor, and show them not just what the pilot would be or why I’m here, or here are other people doing roller derby, and where it was at in the state at the time of lockdown, because they were one of the first sports to come back, because they had COVID protocols and figured out how to do it.

**John:** Roller derby’s a great sport. The community around roller derby’s fantastic.

**Pamela:** It also for a long time was the fastest-growing female sport in the world. It was the first sport to include transgender people. If you identified female, you got to skate. It 100% is a forward-moving sport that is completely do-it-yourself. There’s no big business coming in and changing things. Even within that, there are factions of, “I want to go to the Olympics. I want to be Mamie Thigh-senhower because I’m a kindergarten teacher.” How does a sport move when you’ve lowered an age to 18? All of these things to be able to put into a video.

As I said, there’s no way you’re going to want to be amped enough to watch more roller derby without seeing some roller derby. Being able to put all of that in a pitch that I said, “Just go watch it, however you like to consume your media. We’ll all be here in 13 minutes, and we’ll talk some more.” It just let people come back excited to talk and really helped. I like it a lot.

I learned this from animation, of giving something for people to look at so they don’t have to stare at you and feel bad when they’re writing notes or feel bad if they’re thinking about dinner. They just do. Sometimes I stopped a pitch and been like, “Oh, it’s so late. It’s 5:00 on a Friday, and the sun’s going down behind me. I can already tell I said feminist and all of you shut down. We could just stop right here.” I don’t know, I’m always trying to find a way to humanize the experience.

Being able to like, “We’re talking about something you’re going to see, so go see a little of it. If you like it, we can talk more about what it might be like to make it together,” I love it. It’s a lot of control.

**John:** It’s a lot of control. It’s a lot of upfront work to make that thing. I’ve also been in the situation where I’ve done the exact same pitch to 13 different places, with a slide deck, that Megana was driving the slides as I was talking, so there was stuff to look at. It was a beast. The best version of it, I was just on rails. I felt so bad for the producers who had to sit through me giving the exact same presentation 13 times. A video does feel like it’s more choice.

**Pamela:** I also think what happens when you’re going to have to do it 13 times with producers who are in the room, listening to you do the show, they’re going to have opinions after the fifth, sixth, seventh, what’s next. You find yourself doing even more free work to hone it to what maybe we think the mandate is over here. Then you got to change it again for the next one. You end up rewriting your pitch a lot.

If you can be like, “You’re in or you’re out on this show.” Roller derby is a good example. You’re in or you’re out. You like this or you don’t. Please don’t make me figure out this version and that version, because you can talk to me about, “Can we do this, because that’s more what we’re into?” That’s a conversation, as opposed to me trying to guess whatever you were told that morning is the new thing you’re supposed to be looking for. It’s a lot easier to put something down that doesn’t sell if you know you really gave it your best.

**John:** True.

**Pamela:** I know it is a lot more work at the beginning, but you spend all that time really getting to know the show or the film or whatever. You spend a lot of time doing that to be able to make a presentation.

I have an acting degree. I really was horrible at pitching, until one of my friends was like, “This is the only time we’re asked on stage. You’ve got 20 minutes.” I was like, “I’m making a show. I’m making a show.” When I think of it as the one-person show about this, it is less annoying, because the pitch is not the script. It’s just this one little moment for this little thing. The script is not the film or the show. It’s one little moment to get hundreds or thousands of people on board to make the thing.

Breaking them into these milestones has been helpful, because they’re all hard, and we all want to procrastinate. If you can know that you’re actually thinking while you’re procrastinating, it feels like you’re not working. What you’re doing is giving yourself a minute to go, “Something’s not working, and that’s why I’m not working.”

**John:** The devil’s advocate, I do want to bring up, because we’ve talked about the rise of pitch decks on the show, is that this is an escalation even well beyond pitch decks. If a writer’s being asked to do this on spec, that’s a huge commitment of time and space. This goes beyond.

**Pamela:** No one’s asked me to do it. I’ve had to convince a couple of people, “Let me go show you what it is,” because it is hard to understand. You’re going to make a Vimeo. They do. You’re making a short.

**John:** Do it for something that you control, but not for someone else’s project, not someone else’s IP.

**Pamela:** I’m trying to think if I did it for someone else’s IP. Once. Once. You know what? In this case, I ended up… Whatever. We can talk about that some other day, all our heartbreaks. I’m glad I made that. If I hadn’t gone all the way to make that full-on, “Here is the pitch. This is what it looks like. This is the sizzle reel,” I mean this, it would’ve been harder to not get that gig.

**John:** Let’s do some One Cool Things. I see that you are a prepared cohost. I see two things in the Workflowy here. What’s your One Cool Thing or your two Cool Things?

**Pamela:** It’s One Cool Thing, but one’s an intro to explain why my One Cool Thing, because we’re talking about character. Judd Apatow has some great books about talking to funny people and writers about their process. One of the things that he has said… I’ve never met Judd. I don’t know him. One of the things that he has said he uses to get deeper into both himself and therefore his characters, is self-help books.

Esther Perel, I feel like when I’m telling someone something that’s a podcast on its fourth season, perhaps most of you have already heard of it. However, I will say that what Esther is very great at is getting into why these dynamics are happening between people. That’s the best part of characters. Why are these two or these three or this family or this ensemble of office workers going through this together? What is it where they’re going to step on each other’s insecurities, secrets, and, for lack of a better word, traumas? I think that what she does with such compassion and empathy is allow people the space to learn.

Anyway, she has a brand new season. She’s also doing some Premium subscriber stuff. That’s new, where there’s extra bonus things. If you haven’t listened to Where Do We Begin, usually they’re a one-time session with a client or a couple, and it’s an edited situation. She never meets them again.

**John:** I like that.

**Pamela:** It’s fascinating. You drop right into a crisis moment. She also has a How’s Work. I think it’s called How’s Work, where she does it with business partners, because it’s another relationship that can sometimes need-

**John:** Me and Craig are going to have to sign up for this.

**Pamela:** Oh my gosh, I would listen-

**John:** It would be the best.

**Pamela:** … to you guys. It would be so good. It would be so good. I barely know what Esther looks like, because I don’t want to see.

**John:** It’s always best when you don’t know what a podcast host looks like.

**Pamela:** Her voice is wonderful.

**John:** They’ll have different faces in my brain.

**Pamela:** She’s also, through the pandemic, ended up making a game of cards that no one will play with me, because no one wants to do these questions. I tried to bring this up with some group in some sort of pandemic moment, where I was like, “I have this deck of cards. It’s called Where Should We Begin. It’s just these questions.” My friends were like, “We were already having a conversation.” I was like, “No, I know.” They were like, “We were just talking, and now you’re-”

**John:** You’re making it a thing. You’re making it work.

**Pamela:** “You’re making it a thing. You’re making this work. You’re making me uncomfortable. Why are you asking me about a moment I wish I had shined in?” I was like, “I hear you. I hear you.” I was always that kid who was grabbing those books at the bookstore that were like, 100 questions to ask your best friends or 300 questions about sex and love. I just think that when you’re on a road trip and you’re asking someone next to you, “What did you wish you had won in high school that you didn’t get?” you find out so much about that person.

That’s also the stuff that we’re looking for in these scripts to be like, flashback. “I didn’t win this. This was my dream, my wish, and it didn’t come true, so I’m taking all these coins back.” That’s how we get that stuff of knowing this is a person who’s been many persons before this person.

I think that’s the longest version of a One Cool Thing to say here’s a podcast that’s many years old. If you haven’t heard Esther Perel yet, I highly recommend it.

**John:** I will listen to it. My One Cool Thing is an article from a couple weeks ago. Evan Osnos writing for the New Yorker. It’s about “How to Hire a Pop Star for your Private Party.” These are bar mitzvahs, private parties, by the ultra wealthy, who bring in a pop star to perform at them. We see Jennifer Lopez doing something for a million dollars or whatever.

The story centers around Flo-Rida, who is playing bar mitzvahs and other events. He has one big song he’s known for. He makes good money otherwise. What I really liked about this article and Flo-Rida in it is that he’s not resentful. It’s not a sad story. He’s not doing this because he feels like he has to. He’s doing this out of a sense of professionalism. He’s a really good entertainer. This is a way that he gets to entertain these crowds and give them exactly what they need.

For all of the potentially gross stuff about just the ultra wealthy doing these events, it made me happy and hopeful for a future for some of these artists who are not going to be in the mainstream but still have a venue for making money and making their art.

**Pamela:** Have you ever tried to figure out how much it would cost to make a dream come true musically, pop star-wise, for a party or an event?

**John:** I never have. I do remember back in college, I ran the student activities board, because of course I ran the student activities board. We could bring in events. We could bring in bands and stuff for that. At some point you could just get a list of like, this is how many thousands of dollars each of these groups cost. It was exciting to feel that power, like, “I have a $200,000 budget. I could do these things.”

**Pamela:** My husband once just, not just once, but enough that I knew it was a real thing, said he would love to hear Roxette with a full philharmonicy orchestra for one night. I was like, “I feel like this is an attainable goal.” I was wrong. I was wrong. It’s not an attainable goal. First of all, they were a lot of money. Then I was like, “What if it’s just a string quartet playing in a room? That’s fun. We eat a meal or something.” I learned from people who do this professionally, they’re like, “Why would we learn so many Roxette songs? We’ll never do it again. That’s so much time of ours.” I was like, “That’s fascinating.”

**John:** Wow.

**Pamela:** “I can’t pay for that kind of time for all of you.” I was like, “What about four of you?” They’re like, “Still, no one wants to do this. Where are we going to find a singer? Get a cover band.” That’s not what he wanted.

**John:** No, he wanted Roxette.

**Pamela:** So much money. So much money to make your dreams come true.

**John:** You pay for experiences, not things. That’s what we’ve learned, is that the experiences are what really matter, not material possessions.

**Pamela:** I didn’t have that kind of cash. It was a lot. Not now, but someone at the time could’ve made that happen, but it was not me. I was like, “Oh, I see. Oh, I see.” You get used to it when you’re working in film and television of like, “Here’s this. What do you need? Here, you’re in the Griffith Observatory. Look at all the stars. What star do you need?” You get a bit out of your reality and go, “I’m sure Roxette would love to work with the LA Phil.”

**John:** They’re chomping at the bit.

**Pamela:** No. It’s hard. Good for Flo-Rida. I understand that. It’s like a TED Talk as a musician. You’re like, “I get to come in, perform for people who are… “ That’s what Britney’s Vegas residency was theoretically. That’s what I thought I was doing.

**John:** Absolutely. It wasn’t a hostage situation, which apparently it was.

**Pamela:** Not what I thought at the time. You never know. I’m glad for Flo-Rida, but I do think a lot of people are in bar mitzvah hostage situations.

**John:** That may be the title of the episode.

**Pamela:** Great. Glad I could help.

**John:** That is our show. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt. It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Pamela:** Yay.

**John:** Our outro this week is by Adam Pineless. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also where you can send questions, like the ones we answered today. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. It’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing.

We have T-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau. This week on the picket line, I saw two vintage Scriptnotes T-shirts or related Scriptnotes T-shirts that I’d never seen out in the wild before, which was very exciting. It’s always fun to see those T-shirts out there.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one we’re about to record on Listen to Sassy. Pamela Ribon, what an absolute pleasure it is to have you on the podcast and be talking with you.

**Pamela:** Thank you. I like to be the anti-Craig. Whenever you need me again, I will bring anti-umbrage to your podcast.

**John:** [Indiscernible 01:07:43] embrace.

**Pamela:** I love your role. You’re doing it. You’re doing it.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** One of the main reasons I was so excited to have you on this podcast is you are also the host of another podcast, so therefore you’re a podcast professional and know how to do all the things. Talk to us about Listen to Sassy, in which you are going back through issues of Sassy magazine. Start us off, because I can picture Sassy magazine, but I never read it, because I was not the target audience, what was Sassy magazine, and why is it relevant today?

**Pamela:** You probably weren’t the target audience. Perhaps you saw its male spin-off, Dirt.

**John:** Oh, Dirt, okay, yeah.

**Pamela:** That was for you. They were like, “I know you’re reading Sassy.”

**John:** Dudes.

**Pamela:** “Dudes, what about skaters?” Dirt. And Spike Jonze, lots of Spike Jonze. The people I do this podcast with, Tara Ariano and David T. Cole, are professionals all the way back from Television Without Pity, as we were discussing earlier. They have their own podcast things.

During the lockdown, I was on a sad run. I got a text from Tara that said, “My pandemic thing was buying every issue of Sassy magazine ever. Do you want to do a podcast?” I just stopped. I stopped running, and I said, “Yes, yes, a million times yes,” not knowing what I was getting into time-wise, preparedness-wise. It’s a lot of work. I think you know this. Craig doesn’t, but you do.

We take every issue, which I also got my own Ebay-ed version of now. I now have every Sassy. We take every issue, and we break it into first teen life, then pop culture, and then the fashion and the magazine sections. Then our fourth one is, we call slumber party, which are calls and letters. We take the quiz, like a slumber party.

We started with the very first issue, which was 1988. We are at 1990 right now. We’ll be going until ’94 or ’95. I can’t remember when. That was when Sassy changed ownerships and just became a different then. Then Jane Pratt ended up making Jane magazine, which then became the website xoJane, which some of you are now like, “I remember this.”

Back, back, back in the day, Sassy magazine was an alternate to YM and Seventeen. Instead of talking about how to get asked to prom or six ways to wear your makeup, those things are in there, but what it began with really are, here are kids who got pregnant, here is death row, this is what suicide is like, this is what the skinhead movement is doing right now in the ‘90s, and then didn’t pull punches with celebrity interviews, and could be what one might say is the beginning of snark, of that, “Why do I have to love Tiffany or the New Kids, when REM and Keanu Reeves are right here?”

One of the things about going back to Sassy, which starting on Television Without Pity and Mighty Big TV and Hissyfit and Fametracker, one of the things that drew me to that site and writing for Tara and Dave and Sarah in particular was they did a thing where they would, as editors, come in and make little notes inside your recap, of jokes off your joke or inside jokes about all of us. That was what Sassy did.

Sassy made it feel like you’re in a room with all these young people in New York, and we’re all just excited about Michael Hutchence and a Meg Ryan movie we just saw, but Winona Ryder-y, in terms of an older sister who’s telling you, “Here’s some music you might like.” I had an older cousin who was like this for me.

I was in a small town outside Houston. Before then, I was in a small town of Jackson, Mississippi, and no internet. To have a magazine say, “Do you feel not like everyone else? Are you mad about fur? Are you mad about meat? Do you want to know how to be a vegan? Do you want to know how to protest the circus?” There was all that, early activism stuff, of you can be 13 and still change the world, and then also what about John Waters, or what are indie things?

For me, it was Sassy magazine and Rolling Stone magazine were how I figured out there was a world outside the world I was in. I really appreciated the way that they wrote to someone young, to say, “You might be young, but you have agency in your world.” We wouldn’t have Rookie Mag without it. We wouldn’t have a lot of the things that we have now. I think Teen Vogue right now shows a lot of-

**John:** Yeah, it does that.

**Pamela:** Is the newest better version.

**John:** Talk to me though about the advertising in it, because magazines were ad vehicles, and that’s how they made their money was ads, not by the actual cover price of the magazine. What are the ads in there? Are they all makeup? What kind of stuff do you see in there?

**Pamela:** There’s a lot of makeup and vision streetwear and Bongo. Bongo the whole time. My whole teenage years were some girls, but in some short jeans, and me being like, “How can I have this butt?” Instead of it being Guess, which I guess there was a little bit of, it was more counterculture clothing or maybe even… I’m trying to think. There’s still Debbie Gibson in the ads, even if in the articles it’s about not. It’s about B-52s or whatever.

They actually ended up having problems with their advertisers. They lost a lot of advertisers at a certain point, because people were writing in, parents and church people were writing in about, “They’re talking about birth control, and they’re talking about sex, and they’re talking about these things that are not, quote unquote, proper.” We’re currently in the lean years, where you could tell they were having to deal with, how do you get an advertiser, but also stay true to your audience that is very grateful for no bullshit.

**John:** The way that magazines and film and TV writing have overlap, or the way that we always want to portray magazines in film and TV is just so fascinating. They’re always the backdrop we go back to, because it’s a bunch of people in a room who can say smart things, we believe they’re saying smart things, so we make our female characters editors at magazines. We make them young teen journalists or young magazine writers, because it’s glamorous. We believe they can be wearing that fashion if they’re in New York City.

Jane Pratt as a character seems great too. Has there been a fictional version of her on anything, that sense of that magazine founder? I think back to our high fashion people we always make as characters, but has Jane Pratt ever been one of those?

**Pamela:** First of all, I would say that Sex and the City is doing some of that that you’re talking about. So does Girls and all of that stuff. These are aspiring New York friends who are chatting. That’s what Sassy felt like. Skate Kitchen being more the modern version of what I think feels like Sassy magazine. A show that tried to do it, The Bold Type. That was close. That was a modern version of… Even Ugly Betty, if we’re going to get into the weird versions of how glamorous is this world.

What was fun about Sassy wasn’t so much that they were all in New York, because they were like, “I’m in New York, and that’s why I just saw Sting on an elevator.” They sounded like they could’ve come from wherever we were.

They also had contests for the Sassiest girl in America. You just felt like you were part of the magazine. I don’t know there’s any other magazine that made me feel like this came in the mail once a month to say to me, “Hi. How are you? Here’s what you want to see and hear next. Here’s what you’re going to want to talk about when you really are talking to your friends about real things.”

It’s a little difficult to go back. I was doing My Year of Dicks the same time I was doing Listen to Sassy, so I was really reliving my high school years. What’s tough about Sassy is how much Johnny Depp love is in there, which I had 3000 percent at the time. Now, as a other side of Johnny Depp person, you’re having to think about who you were then and who you are now and how much this magazine actually gave me a guide for who I wanted to be and how I wanted to do it. I know I’m not the only one, because you can see it in all these other, particularly female writers of now, who are like, “Sassy made me think I could do this as myself.”

**John:** Big sister energy feels like a good thing to put out in the world.

**Pamela:** Knowledgeable big sister energy.

**John:** Exactly. The podcast is Listen to Sassy. It’s listentosassy.com. People can find all the back-episodes. Pamela Ribon, what an absolute delight to talk with you.

**Pamela:** Thank you so much. This has been fun.

**John:** Great.

Links:

* [Pamela Ribon](https://pamie.com/) on [IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0962596/)
* [Listen To Sassy](https://listentosassy.com/)
* [Television Without Pity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_Without_Pity)
* [Get Real (1999-2000)](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212662/) on IMDb
* [How to Hire a Pop Star for Your Private Party](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/06/05/how-to-hire-a-pop-star-for-your-private-party) by Evan Osnos for The New Yorker
* [The Secret to Judd Apatow’s Comedy? A Huge Library of Self-Help Books](https://www.gq.com/story/judd-apatow-self-help-book-interview) by Clay Skipper
* [Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel](https://www.estherperel.com/podcast)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [Craig Mazin](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/) on Instagram
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Adam Pineless ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli).

Scriptnotes, Episode 605: Medicine and Mayhem, Transcript

August 11, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/medicine-and-mayhem).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** (singing:) My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 605 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show, four tales of science, medicine, and mayhem. That’s right. It’s another How Would This be a Movie, where we take stories our listeners have sent us and discuss how they might become filmed entertainment. Plus, we’re going to have follow-up going back years, and maybe even some listener questions.

**Craig:** Years.

**John:** Years.

**Craig:** Isn’t that the sort of thing that marriage therapists tell you to never do?

**John:** Yeah, digging up those old things. Drew and Halley have been going back through the archives as they’re putting together the Scriptnotes book.

**Craig:** Oh, boy.

**John:** They have questions about things we said.

**Craig:** I’m sure we were wrong.

**John:** We were probably wrong. We’re often wrong.

**Craig:** We were probably wrong.

**John:** In our Bonus Segment for Premium members, we will not be wrong, because it has been well established that Craig and I are first and foremost D and D players who occasionally write movies and television. Craig, I want to talk to you about the changes that are coming up in D and D, with the development of One D and D, which is the newest version coming out.

**Craig:** Yes. Nothing would make me happier. Nothing would make certain people less happy, and I don’t care about them.

**John:** It’s a Bonus Segment, so your choice whether to listen.

**Craig:** Are you cool or not?

**John:** If you are super cool, you might be joining us for the Scriptnotes Live show we’re doing here in Hollywood, here in Koreatown, in August 9th. It’s a Wednesday, 7 p.m., Dynasty Typewriter, the place we love to record our little shows. It’s all a benefit for Hollywood Heart, as always. Craig, are you excited about a live show?

**Craig:** I am. You and I are talking about some fantastic potential guests, which we’ll be able to announce soon enough. We haven’t done a live show in some time. We did have one somewhat. It was our first one back after the long break from COVID. It will be nice to gather everyone together for an evening of chitchat. Definitely looking forward to that, with you.

Just side note for those of you listening. I’m getting over a cold. There may be a little scratchiness. There may be a little bit of ahem stuff going on. I’m really sorry. I’ll occasionally cough, because you know what? I’m human.

**John:** He’s only human.

**Craig:** Only human.

**John:** If you’d like to come to our live show, you can find a link in the show notes that’ll take you to the tickets. They may be sold out by now, because they were selling out really, really quickly. Join us if you can. We have some more recent follow-up. This is not the deep dive follow-up. This is more recent. Back in Episode 604, there was a screenwriter who wanted to turn his script into a book and wondered whether that was at all a good idea. Drew, we had a bit of follow-up on that.

**Drew Marquardt:** Rick wrote in to say that Larry McMurtry wrote Lonesome Dove as a screenplay and then bought the rights back from the studio, wrote it as a novel, and won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction.

**Craig:** If you’re Larry McMurtry, you can get away with these sort of things.

**John:** You can do it.

**Craig:** What was our advice? Was it contrary?

**John:** Our advice was a little bit more like maybe focus on something else, because maybe you’re putting too much stock in this project, which has been your identity too much. We don’t know where Larry McMurtry was in his career, whether he’d done other things before this. I’m assuming it’s not the very first thing he ever wrote as a book.

**Craig:** The fascinating thing is, having read Lonesome Dove, and it’s a wonderful novel, it’s enormous. It’s one of those books where your elbows get tired. The thought that it started as a 120-page screenplay is terrifying to me. Even when they finally did adapt it, it was a very famous mini-series on television. It had to be. Wow. That’s a fascinating factoid.

**John:** We also have some follow-up about writing without rights. This is Episode 602. We advised the listener to just do it. We have a listener who wrote in with their experience just winging it.

**Drew:** Essie writes, “I was pleasantly surprised to hear Craig’s advice to just wing it. When faced with the same dilemma, I decided to write an adaptation without the rights, and it was the right choice for me. I found a kids’ book from the 1940s that I always loved, famous enough that you may have heard of it, but not famous enough that you definitely have. I inquired about the rights. I was told that the rights were available, but not for an uncredited writer like me. After some reflection, I decided to write the script anyway. I was pretty confident that the rights weren’t in high demand. Even in the worst-case scenario, I would have a sample that proves I’m capable of adapting these kinds of properties.

“When I submitted my script to the rights-holders, they loved it and connected me with some producers that had also been poking around the IP. Together, we got the option. Though we haven’t yet taken the project out to buyers, I’ve already gotten new representation, who has sent out the script as a sample for similar projects. To be fair, I was lucky. I’m sure most of the time this approach wouldn’t bear fruit. I only chose this path because I was genuinely passionate about the source material and at peace with the idea of spending a year adapting something that I may not ever have the right to sell. It’s definitely better to write something you control, but in this case, the risk was worth it.”

**Craig:** That’s a really good outcome. I’m glad. Listen. We’re all taking risks on anyway. Most stuff doesn’t get made. If you are allergic to the thought of writing something that will never see the light of day, this is probably not the job for you, because that happens to us literally all the time. Even if the rights-holders hadn’t loved your script, if it’s good and other people liked it, that’s still a great sample. It’s not a problem. I’m glad you winged it. I’m super happy it worked out. That’s not to say that it’ll always work out for people. Your circumstance sounds like a pretty good one in which to wing.

**John:** I’m going back and trying to imagine Essie’s workflow here. Essie found this book, like, “Man, I really want to adapt this thing, so I’m going to write to the rights-holders.” We’ve talked about this on the podcast many times before. If you’re trying to figure out who controls the rights to a book, for film and TV rights, you write to the publisher themselves and ask for sub-rights. Sub-rights are the rights which are then passed down to film and TV. The original author or someone in that estate is going to control those rights. They can put you in contact with the agent or the direct person you’re going to contact.

Essie needed to write them a letter, really pitch their case for why they were the perfect person to adapt this, what the book meant to them, and why they should take a leap on them and let Essie option the rights. They said no, but they were clearly impressed enough with Essie, they didn’t say, “Never contact us again,” and left a door open there.

**Craig:** That would’ve been really rude. Not only no, don’t contact us ever about anything, ever.

**John:** If we see your name, we’ll light it on fire. I bring this up because if that first approach had been poor, and then Essie tried to come back with the script, they may have not read the script. They may have not given it any notice there. It’s important to just be cordial and even take the no happily.

Essie wrote the script, great, and then showed it to these rights-holders, and worked with them to find producers who were the right producers, who could get the next step happening, and along the way found representation. This is a best-case scenario. I suspect Essie, in the writing of this response to us, was very smart about how they approached everything here and had a great spirit and clearly a great love for this book. That’s what carried them through.

**Craig:** Fantastic. That worked out great. I love that story.

**John:** Let’s talk about some stories we don’t control at all. These are stories that exist in media. One is even a Reddit thread, which nobody really controls. Let’s talk about how this would be a movie. I have four contenders here. People have sent through things to Drew all the time. I get sent them on Twitter and Threads. These are four I thought might be a good fit for us, purely because Dr. Craig is sometimes a good persona to bring out here. Craig, of course, loves medicine, loves the brain. He loves all these things.

**Craig:** I am a medical doctor. I’m just unlicensed.

**John:** Let’s start with an article by Richard Sima. This comes out of Stuff, out of New Zealand. About “A catatonic woman awakened after 20 years. Her story may change psychiatry.” Craig, do you want to so any setup here? Do you want to talk through the case this lays out?

**Craig:** Yeah. It’s actually quite startling and fascinating. This does happen. There are people who develop psychosis, schizophrenia, sometimes extreme forms of that, that lead to catatonia. In this case, there was this young woman, April Burrell, that experienced this. When it happened, essentially her life froze. She had to be institutionalized. She just kind of disappeared. She was catatonic and unable to take care of herself and locked in. Many, many, many years go by. They start to look at some of these symptoms.

The investigation of schizophrenia is going in this direction in general. We are finally getting over the idea that things like schizophrenia are because of, I don’t know, weird juju in the mind. There are complicated neurological issues, including, in this case, a potential underlying cause of lupus, which, despite the famous line on House, “It’s not lupus,” lupus does exist. It is rarer than people think, but it is a pretty brutal autoimmune disorders. Autoimmune disorders in general are seemingly on the rise, perhaps because we live in a cleaner world. It’s hard to say.

Her lupus in particular seemed centered almost entirely on the brain. They began to give her some pretty intensive treatment for lupus, immunosuppressive treatment, and it worked.

**John:** It did.

**Craig:** She came back.

**John:** There is a standard protocol for how you’re treating this kind of lupus. They said even though this didn’t seem to be the underlying cause necessarily, she’d had the markers for it, which they can now detect, and like, let’s give it a shot.

A detail we alighted here, which is I think really important, is the doctor who started this process on her is a guy named Sander Markx, precision psychiatry at Columbia University. He was a medical student when he first met April there. She was nonresponsive at that time. He remembered her as a case. Twenty years later, someone mentioned, “Oh, I saw this catatonic patient at Columbia.” He’s like, “Wait, was her name April?” She had been there that entire time and had not woken up out of this thing.

Craig, you said locked in. When I think of locked in, I think of the person who’s paralyzed in bed and fluttering their eyelids.

**Craig:** They’re like, “I’m here.” It’s not that.

**John:** It’s not that.

**Craig:** No, but it is locked in in the sense that wherever they are, they’re not here with us. Their personality has been shut off somewhere. She would not recognize anybody that would come to talk to her. She wouldn’t talk back with them. As it says here, she would just stare and stand. “She wouldn’t shower, she wouldn’t go outside, she wouldn’t smile, she wouldn’t laugh. The nursing staff had to physically maneuver her.” She wasn’t changed.

There are a lot of things that we can do for people that have psychosis. None of them worked on her. That in and of itself should have been an indication that perhaps this was not what they thought. Generally speaking, if there’s a course of treatment that doesn’t work at all, perhaps you’re not treating the right thing. This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone with people with profound mental disorders are oftentimes misdiagnosed or just ignored. In this case, pretty remarkable.

The problem for the screenwriter that has to figure this out is that we already have this movie.

**John:** We have the movie called-

**Craig:** Awakenings.

**John:** Called Awakenings, yeah. Book by Oliver Sacks, screenplay by Steve Zaillian. I’ve heard of him. Directed by Penny Marshall.

**Craig:** Heard of her.

**John:** Starring Robin Williams.

**Craig:** Heard of him.

**John:** The article actually references that some people in this story were inspired by that movie to pursue medicine as a career. That existed as a background for all this. I think the first real challenge is, Awakenings exists. I’ve never seen the movie, but I am aware of the movie.

**Craig:** So good.

**John:** I’m sure it’s great. I’ve never seen it. It’s not fair to assume that most Americans or most moviegoers would have seen it, but they may be kind of familiar with it, and critics will be familiar with it. Therefore, anything you put out is going to be compared to Awakenings, naturally.

Let’s take a look and see what are the aspects of this that could be interesting or different from that tale, that might be provocative, and make the decision whether April’s story in particular is how we would want to pursue this, or if there’s something that we can jump off from here, to tell a different kind of story with this as a background.

**Craig:** As a fan of Awakenings, I am nervous that it’s doable. I take your point that plenty of people, like yourself, have not seen Awakenings. You’re right, it’s one of those things where it’s a little bit like saying, look, there are people who haven’t seen The Graduate, but if you’re going to tell a story about this young man who’s getting seduced by his future mother-in-law, you start to go, “That is already a pretty famous movie.” I think it was nominated for an Oscar or two, or five.

Even though it is a different illness. In Awakenings, you’re dealing with a fairly profound version of Parkinson’s, that was brought on by viral infection, but basically it’s the same thing. You have somebody that’s catatonic for 20 years, and then a doctor takes interest and tries a very different way of thinking about their problem and finds a medicine that they think will work, and it works. It’s going to be hard to get around.

**John:** The other person portrayed in this article is Devine Cruz. She is a woman who was going through a similar kind of situation. They recognized, “Oh, this thing worked on a different patient. Let’s try it on you.” I wonder if there’s a specificity of these two women, about their shared thing, about the families’ shared struggle to get people to take this seriously, that there still is this person you’ve written off, there’s still reason to keep for new things.

I’m thinking a Lorenzo’s Oil kind of situation, where it’s less about the doctor who creates the miracle, about more about the family who refuses to give up on this person who they know is still in there someplace. That may could’ve been Awakenings too.

**Craig:** No, not necessarily. There is this beautiful little side story in Awakenings where his mother comes to visit him. Robert De Niro plays the patient, just in case you were short on star power for Awakenings. The central relationship was between Robert De Niro and Robin Williams playing, essentially, Oliver Sacks.

This is why I think Awakenings is a better film than Lorenzo’s Oil. No offense to the folks who made Lorenzo’s Oil. It’s just that it’s a more interesting relationship, because it’s not a required kind of love. Families loving their own child is sort of perfunctory. We expect it. A doctor that commits to somebody they do not know, who’s never said a word to them or even acknowledged their existence, and then finding how that relationship develops once that person does come out of their catatonia is interesting.

Ultimately, that’s the challenge with this. However, to that the extent that there’s… If you wanted to do a new Awakenings. Unfortunately, it’s really just the specific, the fact that it’s lupus and an immunosuppressant, as opposed to Parkinson’s and L-DOPA, that’s the only difference as far as I can see.

**John:** I wonder if there’s a way to tell the story from her point of view, basically that the first-person narration is from her point of view and her sense of being stuck inside this thing and what her experience was like, and her trying to, I guess [indiscernible 00:16:22] The Butterfly, trying to reach out from beyond her place.

**Craig:** I’m not sure that they are in there in that way.

**John:** The Lovely Bones is the other way I’m thinking about it, told from beyond the grave.

**Craig:** In these states of catatonia, it doesn’t appear. These people can report on it after, when they come out. It wasn’t like they were in there. They were gone. They were gone.

**John:** Let’s move now to MDMA and the white supremacist. This is Rachel Nuwer writing for the BBC. Brendan was once a leader in the U.S. white nationalist movement. Then he took the drug MDMA in a scientific study that would radically change the extremist’s beliefs, to the surprise of everyone involved.

MDMA, also known as ecstasy, has been researched, and increasingly researched, for its role as a psychiatric aid for people who are going through PTSD and other things, I’ve seen in the past. This study was really not designed to be focusing on racists. It was just a study on how the drug itself works.

This guy signs up for it and feels he has this huge epiphany and this sense of connection to people he’s never experienced before. Basically, something fundamentally shifts about how he perceives this world around him and he renounces his white nationalist beliefs. That change largely appears to have stuck. Craig, what’s your first approach to this story, this article, and how you think it could be or if it could be useful.

**Craig:** Very challenging to do. For starters, it’s an individual. This isn’t something where we’re saying, okay, this is working. It’s an individual. Watching people take medicine and then changing their minds is a very un-cinematic thing to portray.

Of note, when you get to the end of the article, you start to feel things getting walked back a little bit. He says, “Yeah, I’m still a little bit like that.” Like, yeah, I still sometimes don’t like Jews, but I’m getting better. There’s a lot of things that could go wrong here.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** You know what? You go down the road of like, oh, you can just cure racism with an injection, you know who’s going to love that? The racists. They don’t get weird about that stuff.

**John:** There’s no Venn diagram crossover of anti-medical science and racism.

**Craig:** There’s not a lot of paranoia in the racist community.

**John:** We want to inject you so your beliefs will change.

**Craig:** They’re like, “Yeah, we know.” That’s a problem.

**John:** Let’s talk about movies about racists or racist central characters. It’s a challenge. I’m thinking of American History X, the Edward Norton film, which I didn’t love. It’s so tough to see and be close with a character who is just a racist asshole. Even if they’re redeemed at the end, it’s still really tough to sit down to watch that movie. It’s tough to get me excited to be in that space. I’m trying to think of counter-examples. What are movies that had racist protagonists who changed their beliefs, and we loved those movies?

**Craig:** Protagonists? No.

**John:** I think you could be an antagonist. A protagonist could be someone else who caused the change in this character. We see the change having happened, I guess.

**Craig:** We’ll watch movies about social justice. We will watch movies where racism is overcome by people who are brave. When it comes to the character study of racism, we don’t like watching it. Part of the reason, I think, is because it’s actually boring. We don’t mind, for instance, watching movies about serial killers. We’re fascinated. We want to know, maybe in part because we can point to a serial killer and say, “I don’t know what that thing is, so I’d love to know what’s going on in that head.” Racism is this baked-in extension of our most feeble instincts.

**John:** Our in-grouping or out-grouping-ness.

**Craig:** It’s kind of boring. It’s terrible. It causes all sorts of problems. From a dramatic point of view, what is it that we don’t know? I think we basically know. When you see somebody being a racist, you’re like, “That’s a racist.” You just don’t quite want to engage with them. There’s not that curiosity or sense of like, “I need to know how you tick.” I kind of don’t. I kind of don’t want to.

**John:** In a general sense, let’s talk about when you have a character who is in a group and then has an epiphany and realizes, “Oh, this group I’m in is wrong and bad. I need to leave this group and renounce my prior beliefs.” That can be an effective… That’s a protagonist journey. We totally get that, because you are leaving your safe home place, taking a risk, going to a new location.

It’s these details of this drug you accidentally took. Great. It’s like being bitten by the radioactive spider. This thing you didn’t anticipate caused the change. Our problem is that, we don’t want to hang out with you in your initial state. We don’t want to really talk about these things that you’ve been doing that are bad.

**Craig:** You can certainly see a situation where this kind of topic, the notion of a psychedelic experience opening someone’s mind to their own mistakes or failures, being a cool thing to happen on page 15, and then-

**John:** It’s the red pill, blue pill-

**Craig:** Kind of.

**John:** … game in The Matrix.

**Craig:** Then the rest of the movie is really about other stuff, like do I deserve redemption, how do I get out if I’m in trouble, if it’s dangerous to get out, can I get out, what if I love somebody that’s still in. There are ways to address that sort of thing. The reason I say page 15 is because now I’m on board with somebody who’s not a racist by page 15.

**John:** Exactly.

**Craig:** I get to go on a journey with a person that I can ride shotgun with. It’s just harder to do otherwise.

**John:** I think it’s also important the degree to which we as an audience see and believe the world from this character’s point of view. If he is not aware of, I don’t know, the racism, he’s not aware of how broken the group is that he’s a part of, and he’s not aware of the problem until this page 15 epiphany, then we’re there with him. If we can see from the start, oh no no no, this is bad, this is wrong, he’s a bad person, he’s with bad people, it’s going to be very tough for us to enjoy this movie.

**Craig:** Exactly. There is also the danger of a simplification. I’m not sure I believe this, is the problem. It may be that one person had this interesting thing. Let’s see. The article was written by Rachel Nuwer. I can see why Rachel Nuwer heard this story and went, “That’s a cool article.” I don’t know if it is medically relevant or psychologically relevant to humanity. It may just be this thing that happened to this guy.

**John:** Let’s talk about outside of the realm of How Would This be a Movie. Could drug treatment like this be useful for people who identify if they want to change their behaviors, that they are pursuing these racist beliefs because of this desperate need for community, and their recognition that they don’t need this for that sense of community, that they can actually find that sense of community outside this place? Sure, but that’s not a movie.

**Craig:** No, that’s not a movie, and it’s rife with all sorts of issues anyway.

**John:** This one is much more plotty. This is also drugs and people taking drugs that they are not even aware of.

**Craig:** Oh yeah, this one.

**John:** This is an article written by John Carreyrou for the New York Times. “Kyle Roche was a rising star in the field of cryptocurrency law until his career imploded. Who orchestrated his downfall?”

We’re not going to say the names of the people who orchestrated the downfall, because I don’t want to have to cut stuff out of this episode. We’ll talk about in a general sense. We’ve learned our lessons.

In a general sense, this is a guy who was writing about the cryptocurrency industry. At some point, he met up with these people who might’ve been investors. They were people who worked in this industry and didn’t remember much about that encounter. Sometime later, videos came out where he’s saying horrible things, and he does not remember saying them. He’s completely discredited and disowned, and his career is in tatters. I’m alighting a lot in that description. There are actually some interesting twists and turns along the way.

Craig, what do you think of this as a premise? Basically, here’s a guy who’s basically been doped and videoed into saying things that ruins him.

**Craig:** Kyle Roche was a cryptocurrency litigator, which just sounds like a scumbaggy thing to be. Am I allowed to say that?

**John:** He was the guy who went after the crypto companies. I don’t think he necessarily started the story as the bad guy. He was the person who worked in cryptocurrency litigation.

**Craig:** He worked for a thing called Ava Labs, which was connected with cryptocurrency. Look. It’s not like cryptocurrency isn’t criminal, always. It seems like a lot of times at this point. Regardless, here’s what I thought was interesting. There is a mechanism here. I don’t think in and of itself it’s a movie, but there’s a really interesting mechanism.

**John:** Agreed.

**Craig:** If we look back to The Firm, which is one of these great ’90s era thrillers, starring Tom Cruise, and is adapted from a Grisham novel, I believe.

**John:** It was.

**Craig:** It’s about basically a lawyer who gets blackmailed. He gets set up by a woman who seduces him. There is a videotape. Now he’s in too deep and he has to get out. I think this is a very interesting modern version of that. Nobody would probably go with the VHS tape of you having sex with a… More like, why don’t we just slip something in your drink and then just put you on our phone talking and saying dumb crap that’s going to get you canceled. That’ll do it. That did it.

**John:** It did it.

**Craig:** The other question, and this is where sometimes these paranoid thrillers are fun, what if nothing went in his drink? What if this is just what he’s saying, because he’s embarrassed. Hard to say. He has certainly no evidence, from what I can tell, that he was drugged. That said, one of the people that he was having dinner with has disappeared and doesn’t appear to have ever existed anyway in terms of their name. Something fishy was going on, clearly. I think, from a drama point of view, the mechanism of setting someone up here is pretty [crosstalk 00:27:28].

**John:** It’s pretty delicious. I agree, the crypto thing, it already feels dated and gross. I would lose that. Let’s say he’s a promising litigator. He’s a candidate for something, or he is the DA for someplace. This happens to him. How do you prove that this happened to you, or did it happen to you? I like your suggestion that maybe this didn’t really ever happen, that this is all an excuse for stuff. That’s juicy. I think there is a cool story to be told with this mechanism.

**Craig:** I think that’s really what we get out of this.

**John:** Our last one, Craig, somehow I feel like over the course of 10 years, we’ve never really gotten into UFOs and the truth behind the conspiracy to keep them from us. This was a very different post that someone sent to me. There’s no author. There’s no named author. It’s all anonymous. It’s a Reddit thread. The Reddit writer is saying that, “From the late 2000s to the mid-2010s, I worked as a molecular biologist for a national security contractor in a program to study Exo-Biospheric-Organisms,” the EBOs, what we would consider ETs.

You go through this thread, he talks about… I’m saying he. I’m just assuming it’s a he. I don’t know that he ever gave us any pronouns there. Was recruited and went through several interviews, after grad school, I guess, and basically signed a ton of NDAs, which he’s all now breaking. It was his job to review the literature. I’m not sure he was actually doing lab work, scientific lab work, but basically, figuring out what is the biology of this creature, this organism that we have here in this lab.

It describes something that looks like the classic gray alien that we’re used to, but then it goes into very detailed descriptions of specific biological processes. In the DNA coding of it all, it’s clearly some sort of chimera, in that this thing seems to have been using both very normal terrestrial DNA and some other stuff too. It was much more of an Earthy kind of creature than you would expect from something that came from Outer Space.

Craig, reading through this, I of course want to get your Craig bullshit detector test, but also where you think movie is in this space, if there is anything.

**Craig:** I don’t know what the movie would be here. Look. My guess is that this is somebody who is enjoying being incredibly creative with their knowledge of physiognomy and biology and anatomy and all sorts of things, and using lots of big words, which is fun. They seem to be doing it in a way that is willfully uninterested in educated people about certain things, which is bizarre.

There’s too much detail in certain areas and not enough in others. For instance, a lot of discussion of the fact, for instance, there’s a mouth and there’s an esophagus. However, there is no anus. I have a huge problem with that.

**John:** The explanation behind this is that it appears that waste products basically go through the skin essentially.

**Craig:** I have a huge problem with that. It’s not a great method-

**John:** No, not a great sign.

**Craig:** … to have a closed tube. Basically, it is a recipe for disaster. The fact that there are no genitals is a very strange thing, and only in the sense that so much of the rest of it, this person is arguing, is somewhat analogous. What they are describing is also something that sounds a whole lot like the little gray or green men that people started talking about in the ’50s. It doesn’t really matter.

Look. The other issue is, if this is true, and you’re a real person, and you’ve done all this real stuff, I don’t know why you’re putting it on Reddit. I really don’t. He says, look, and again, I’m going with your gender on this, “That every human being has the right to know the truth, and to progress, humanity needs to divest itself of certain institutions and organizations,” la da da da da. Okay, fine, but putting it on Reddit, you’re basically saying, “Please don’t believe this.” I just really struggle with that, all of that.

However, let’s say, even, it is all true. I don’t know what to do with it. It’s not functional.

**John:** Say every word is true. The obvious scenario is, we start the story with, okay, we’re recruiting you. It’s like Sydney Bristow being recruited in Alias. Basically, she’s going to work for, she thinks it’s the CIA, but it turns out to actually be this program to study the little gray men, and they have to decide what am I going to do, am I going to blow the whistle on this, or am I actually going to study this thing?

You could find ways to make stakes for that, basically just to do it from the start. This isn’t a movie about revealing it on Reddit. It’s about those first moments being brought into this big secret. There’s something very compelling about a character being introduced to a new world, a secret world, that has been hidden from everybody else, because it’s a super secret governmental program. There’s something compelling about that.

Then you have to develop characters. You have to develop stakes. You have to develop a whole structure around this and an endpoint for where this movie’s actually going to go. We don’t know what that would be.

Some of the things that are presented here I’m sure are actually part of the ET lore that I just don’t know about. This idea that the DNA is… These are engineered creatures. These are sort of like worker bees. They are not self-reproducing creatures. They’re actually manufactured in some way. That’s interesting. That’s different, for me. I’m sure there’s been hundreds of other examples of people speculating on that.

**Craig:** This is a cool thing, if you’re writing a movie, a fictional film, about people discovering that humans are the result of genetic engineering of extraterrestrial creatures or whatever it is that you’re thinking about. This is fun. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do with this.

**John:** I don’t know what we’re supposed to do with it either. As we’re talking, I’m thinking maybe this Reddit post we’re reading is actually just a form of fiction, just an interesting form of new fiction that exists as a Reddit post-

**Craig:** I think it is.

**John:** … that’s not meant to be anything else.

**Craig:** That’s what it feels like to me. Otherwise, what a weirdly bad way of going about this. Again, it’s written in such a way that it, at times, is really invested in explaining things to the layperson, and at other times, is enjoying not. You know when somebody uses a bunch of lingo or jargon around you, and should know you wouldn’t know it, and it’s annoying? That. It does a lot of that.

**John:** The writer actually acknowledges that, in terms of going way too deep on things, and also says, “I’m deliberately obfuscating some things and throwing you red herrings to protect myself to not reveal who I am.”

**Craig:** Okay, so what are we doing with this? I don’t know what to do with it. Did this take off on Reddit? Did it get super viral?

**John:** Yeah. It got popular enough that it showed up in my feed. More than one listener sent it to me about How Would This be a Movie. Of course, the original writer, it looks like, got banned off of Reddit. There’s all this speculation about if this writer’s been disappeared. Sure, or that could be that’s largely part of the game is that this information is being kept from you.

Craig, this is about this alien biology, but have we even discussed on the show, what is your perspective on unidentified aerial phenomenon? Increasingly now, we have our government acknowledging, yeah, there’s stuff that we see in the sky, that we can’t explain it. We’re not saying it’s extraterrestrial. Just yeah, there’s stuff, we don’t know what it is, and we’re going to acknowledge we don’t know what it is.

**Craig:** We don’t know what it is. The fact that we have a literary pretext for what it is doesn’t mean that that’s what it is. I’m still waiting for the reason why all these aliens keep visiting and sort of being seen but then not. They have no problem being seen for a while, but not clearly. They seem to have gone to the Bigfoot school of visibility. That is highly suspicious.

At this point now, we’ve been talking about UFOs since the ’40s, I believe, and I guess even earlier, to War of the Worlds and earlier, we’re still waiting for one of them, not even one of them, to just be seen. There was that story recently like, “Oh my god, the police found an alien in a backyard in Vegas.” No, it was a guy in a fricking forklift or something.

Anyway, the point is, we see things that we don’t understand all the time. No question. Do we know what they are? We do not. Are they the product of intelligent life, alien craft? No clue. Doesn’t seem consistent with anything that makes sense. Not sure what aliens are doing here. I know certainly if we travel to another planet, we won’t be traveling there to zip around weirdly and then leave. That’s just weird.

**John:** Not efficient use of resources.

**Craig:** No. Look. The best guess I have is that what’s happening is we are seeing some glitches in the simulation. That’s it. Just simulation glitches.

**John:** The other counter-argument for that we have a giant governmental conspiracy to hide this stuff is that Trump never said anything.

**Craig:** Honestly. Right?

**John:** The minute that anyone brought it up, he’s like, “Oh my god, I’m going to blab about it.”

**Craig:** He would say something like, “I can’t say. I’m not saying. Let me just say, some things, major things that would really… You would be amazed. You would be amazed.” He didn’t even do that. There’s nothing there. Although I got to be honest, if there are aliens, if we do have alien, they wouldn’t have told. They’re like, “Let’s not tell this one.”

**John:** They’re going to keep that from him. Craig, often on this part of these segments, we talk through and figure out which of these is going to be the one that’s optioned and made into a movie. I don’t think we have any of them this time. I don’t think any of these are directly going to be adapted into-

**Craig:** Correct.

**John:** … a feature film. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are not going to track these down, as they often do. That’s not going to happen. I agree with you. I think we found a really good mechanism in the drugged crypto lawyer. That’s going to come back. I liked our digging into the problems of the character who stops being so racist.

**Craig:** I don’t know what to do with any of these, other than to take the plot element of getting somebody to cancel themselves is a cool-

**John:** It is a great mechanism.

**Craig:** … method to screw somebody up. Other than that, I don’t know what to do with these, from a movie point of view.

**John:** Let us get to our next segment, which is Drew and Halley use our words against us.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** Drew Marquardt, our Scriptnotes producer, and Halley Lamberson, our Scriptnotes intern, they have been working through the whole back catalog as they’re putting together these chapters. They’ve found some, I don’t know, questions, some inconsistencies. Halley, Drew, let me turn it over to you. What would you like to ask us about? You’re in charge.

**Drew:** I will say we came at this, I think, looking for those inconsistencies, but you guys have been frustratingly consistent over the last 11 years. I thought I had one last week where I was like, “Oh, I got them dead to rights.” I went back, I checked the tape, and it all fit. We have a few questions, just to follow up on stuff.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** Great.

**Drew:** In Episode 74, back in 2013, you guys said that selling a drama spec script was very, very tough these days. I was wondering if that’s still true, or if you think that’s still true.

**John:** I think that is still true. I think the feature business has gotten even tougher with specs from 2013. There are still specs that sell. There’s still the blacklist. There’s still scripts that people find fascinating and eventually get into development. It’s really tough to do.

Now, as a corollary, I would say, is it easy to sell a comedy feature spec? No, not easy to sell those either. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be writing them. It just means that your expectation of like, this is going to be my lottery ticket that gets me started, should not be your expectation. You should think of, this is the really good script that will get me into rooms to start talking about a writing career. Craig?

**Craig:** I assume we were talking about feature films here. In 2013, we obviously were not aware of the impending stream apocalypse that was about to be imposed upon us all. The streamers have opened up other options. They make movies, if you want to call them that, features. There’s probably at least more opportunity there to sell a dramatic screenplay.

We were really talking in 2013, I suspect, in contrast with the way the business functioned when we began in the ’90s, where spec scripts were the mania. It was tulip mania. By the time you hit 2013, it was kind of gone. I don’t really think that kind of entrepreneurial feeding frenzy, send it out on a Friday, bidding war over the weekend, sell it by Sunday night, is going to come back.

**Drew:** Do you think drama is less likely to sell than a genre script, in like a thriller or horror category?

**Craig:** I actually think drama’s probably more likely than comedy right now.

**John:** As opposed to genre or horror? I think genre and horror are still selling. Even on the picket line, I talked to folks who are selling those scripts, because they can be made for a price. There’s a clear pattern for them.

**Craig:** Action movies, horror movies, definitely, but comedies are tough and drama’s tough. The other thing that I think we weren’t quite had our minds wrapped around completely in 2013 was just how dominant superhero films would become, and what a disruption they were to the flow of what we think of as genre film. Superhero movie was not a genre. They were making them. We knew what they were. It wasn’t like, oh, an entire studio is just going to pump out nothing but those.

That definitely changed things as well. The traditional kind of $45 million movie about politics or a marriage falling apart, there are still independent films, but the studios just got out of that business completely.

**John:** To the degree that they’re making those issue dramas, they’re based on a book, or they’re there for award season, and they’re going to be released in December and go through that whole process. It’s hard for you as a writer to be coming out of the gate with one of those.

**Craig:** I agree too that if it is not from a writer-director, it gets even harder, because at least with that, you can say, okay, there are people that make these kinds of Bombackian films, and they are director-writers, and that’s what they do. Makes sense. Trickier to the old-fashioned way of, I write a script, we throw it out to the town, and then a bunch of money comes back? I don’t think that’s changed.

**Drew:** Great. Halley, I will throw it to you.

**Halley Lamberson:** Back in December 2014, on Episode 176, advice to a first-time director, Craig, you said directing a movie, a feature film, is the hardest job in show business. We’d like to ask, what do you both think about this now, and what is the hardest job in show business?

**Craig:** Run a television show that was going to shoot for 200 days. Even though that is very hard, I’m going to double down here. Having directed again recently, there is a physical and mental demand to that job that is unique and really, really hard to do. When I say hard, I don’t mean hardest as in requiring the most talent or skill. It’s not necessarily the most difficult from that perspective. I mean just physically and emotionally, I think it is the hardest job. It can really break you down. There is no break. You get shot out of a cannon on Monday morning, and you land on the ground Friday night. You’re catatonic all weekend, and then you start again. That is brutal. I’m going to stick with that one.

**John:** I would say I recognize how difficult all the jobs are in this town, especially the jobs on set, going all the way to the PA, who has no agency, but has to get this thing to happen or do this thing. What is different about the director’s job is that they are responsible for all these different pieces, but they’re also responsible to their own creative vision for how they’re going to get this thing to work and how are they going to get in all the changes that are happening around them, what are they going to do to get the shot that they think they need for this next part of this process.

Craig, I really thought you might change over to showrunning, because obviously, when you were the showrunner on The Last of Us, you’re often on set and making some decisions, but you’re not the final responsible person. You’re also responsible for this entire universe and carrying it all in your head through this very long process, which is-

**Craig:** Hard.

**John:** More so than any one of your individual directors. It’s the, are you running 400 meters, or are you running a marathon? That’s the difference. There are different levels of exertion.

**Craig:** It is. Even when on set, ultimately, when you’re the showrunner, you’re the top of the mountain. Everybody understands that sooner or later, I’m the one that’s going to be editing it, I’m the one that’s making the final decisions, and if I don’t get the footage I need, I’ll be the one going back to get it somehow. You are always in charge. That is in and of itself, can be very taxing. There are times where you could say, “It’s 3:00 p.m. Things are going well. We’re into coverage. I like what I’m seeing. I’m going home. I’m going to go home.” Now, when I go home, I still have 12 meetings to do. I’m not going to go home and play Zelda.

That’s different than when I’m directing. When I’m directing, every minute of every day is on my shoulder, keeping the paces on my shoulder, making sure I get every shot I need, making sure I’m really happy. There’s the mental duress of deciding when I should move on and when I shouldn’t, that constant push and pull in your head of, I don’t want to start chasing, but I also don’t want to quit too soon. Also, just physically, up on your feet and moving around.

How about this? I’ll make a slight word adjustment. Directing is the most arduous job in show business. Perhaps the most difficult job in show business is being a showrunner, particularly on a very big show.

**John:** I would agree.

**Drew:** John, does it still drive you crazy when people camel case Scriptnotes?

**John:** Just to make sure everyone knows what we’re talking about with camel casing, camel casing is a… It’s not even punctuation. It’s a form of smashing words together, so that where the second word would start, you uppercase it. I will often see Scriptnotes written as capital S, C-R-I-P-T, capital N, O-T-E-S.

It still drives me frigging crazy. I hate it. I’ve stopped commenting on it now, because I know that it doesn’t actually change anything. People think that, I don’t know, maybe because I’m techy or something, that I enjoy the camel casing of it all, because it comes out of programming. I don’t like it. I don’t think it’s good.

Scriptnotes from the very start, from when Craig suggested the title Scriptnotes, I wrote it as one word, just capital at the front. It still does drive me crazy, and yet I see it in emails all the time. If you’re writing in with a question to Scriptnotes, just know that I enjoy that N being lowercase.

**Drew:** We throw out all the uppercase Ns.

**John:** That’s what it is. I’ve set a rule in our email programs to banish all the ones that uppercase it.

**Craig:** Could you set up a filter that just converts it automatically so you never have to see it?

**John:** Craig, that is actually a very smart idea. It’d be running a continuous process, but it’d be worth all the processor cycles to-

**Craig:** It would be worth it. You would need to-

**John:** Just to make it better for me.

**Craig:** … buy another 12 computers and an additional air conditioning unit just to take care of it. I will tell you, Drew, that this issue continues to not plague me.

**John:** Not a bit. I will say when I’m strapping in my Apple Vision headset, if I see that camel case N, it’s going to bug me.

**Craig:** Oh, man. What’s going to happen with that? We’ll find out.

**John:** We’ll find out.

**Craig:** We’ll find out.

**Drew:** Halley, I think you have the most important last question here.

**Halley:** This is something Drew and I are really looking for clarity on. We’ve learned of a few Craig personas on the show. There’s been Cool Craig, Sexy Craig.

**Craig:** Of course.

**Halley:** Today we’re bringing it back to Episode 238, the job of writer-producer, featuring Dana Fox. The question is, who is Whole Foods Craig, and is he still in there?

**Craig:** Who is Whole Foods Craig? I could guess what Whole Foods Craig is.

**John:** Let’s give it a guess.

**Craig:** Whole Foods Craig was super natural guy who’s all about eating clean and spirulina and all that. Is that Whole Foods-

**Drew:** You weren’t quite sure if he worked at Whole Foods or if he was just shopping at Whole Foods.

**Craig:** Hanging out there all day.

**Halley:** He sounded really chill.

**Craig:** Whole Foods Craig probably doesn’t work there, but should, because he is there all day. When he sees somebody looking to choose between which version of ginkgo biloba to buy, he’s like, “Hey man, just so you know, this one actually is triple filtered. This one may have additives.” Whole Foods Craig. Whole Foods Craig, by the way, is annoying.

**John:** Yeah, but I’ll take Whole Foods Craig any day over some of those other personas.

**Craig:** Oh, will you?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I think you’ll take Sexy Craig. Sexy Craig gets taken.

**John:** Drew has control of the edits of Sexy Craig. I think it can disappear.

**Craig:** It’s on topic. I don’t know what to say. I didn’t bring up Sexy Craig.

**John:** Drew and Halley, thank you so much for all the hard work you’re doing on the Scriptnotes book and putting down these questions for us.

**Craig:** Thanks, guys. Thank you.

**Halley:** Of course. Thanks.

**John:** It’s time for our One Cool Things, Craig. I see you have one here. What is it?

**Craig:** It’s Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

**John:** Oh my god, it’s the game you’re playing.

**Craig:** Yeah, it is. You know what? I’m a little late. I’m not super late, but I’m a little late. I know that. The reason I wanted to call it out is because it is certainly a close successor to Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which was incredibly highly acclaimed game. It’s up there as one of the best video games of all time. I hated it. I just hated it. I just struggled with it so much.

Everyone was playing Tears of the Kingdom. I was like, “Okay, there’s maybe some things about it.” They really did improve so much of what bothered me about Breath of the Wild, and kept the things that I enjoyed. It’s wonderfully done. Hats off to Nintendo. There’s no blood. There’s no cursing. There’s no sex. It’s very bowdlerized. It’s very Disney. Yet it’s also quality. They invested so much thought and time and energy.

As you go through this game, you start with standard Zelda style, you start with three hearts. Those are your hit points. You got three hit points. You got to get more hearts, or you’re going to get killed all the time. The only way to get a heart is by solving puzzles in four different shrines. Each shrine has a puzzle.

**John:** I can’t imagine Craig wouldn’t enjoy those puzzles.

**Craig:** I do. Then you think, from a game design point of view, makes sense to make it hard. You gotta do four of them. You gotta find the shrine. Then you gotta solve the puzzle inside, which sometimes are very complicated. That gets you 25% of the way to a heart. You’re going to need to end up with 15, 20, 30 hearts to win this thing, I think. I’m currently at 16 hearts, and I can’t win yet. That means they have to come up with so many shrines and so many different puzzles. They did. That’s all layered on top of all the other stuff.

The other thing that Nintendo does so well is, no offense to everybody else out there, when they ship a game, it’s good to go. It’s solid. It works. There isn’t a lot of people running on YouTube and just going, “Can you believe they shipped this thing in this shape?” Hats off. Well done, Nintendo. Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is a fantastic game. I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

**John:** That’s great. This is not my One Cool Thing, but I am playing Diablo 4. We talked about it, how we were both going to be starting our big RPGs. It is the opposite of Zelda. There’s nothing but blood. There’s so much blood in this game. Everything is drenched in blood at all times and misery core. I think it’s actually really, really well done. The game they shipped is flawless for me. I’ve been really impressed by-

**Craig:** That’s great.

**John:** … what they’ve learned from previous versions. It’s good. My actual One Cool Thing is Larry Turman. Larry Turman passed away recently. He had a remarkable 96-year life. He was a producer. He did The Graduate, got nominated for an Oscar, The Thing, American History X, which you mentioned today on the podcast.

**Craig:** And The Graduate. We mentioned both of those.

**John:** An absolute legend. I knew him because he was the head of the Stark Program. For 30 years he ran the Stark Program.

**Craig:** Wow.

**John:** I was part of the first class that he picked. He’s the reason I came out to Los Angeles, is because he picked me to join this class of 25. He ran that program so well and grew it and changed it. Our initial program, we had one television class over the two years. Now of course, Drew and other people get a lot of TV exposure in that class.

Scriptnotes would not make sense without Larry Turman, because not only did Larry pick me, he picked Stuart Friedel, Megan McDonald, Drew Marquardt, our Scriptnotes producers. They were all hand selected by Larry Turman. Our guests, like Dara Resnik, Chad Creasey, Al Gough, and Miles Millar, so many of the people you’ve encountered on Scriptnotes have come through this tiny little program at USC called the Peter Stark Program.

He was an absolute delight. I miss him. He was a gentleman through and through. After he left the Stark Program, he went, lived in the motion picture retirement community. I was going to go see him. I actually had an opportunity to present him with a Rolodex of all of the people who wanted him to remember what an impact he had, at this event. I thought that was actually probably the best last place for me to have a moment to thank him for all he did. I just wanted to acknowledge Larry Turman’s passing, because he was an absolute gem of a person.

**Craig:** Wow, that’s very sweet. You and I both know his son, John. Our sympathies to John. I should add, just because I guess we’re doing some obituaries here, Danny Goldberg, who produced the Hangover films, also passed away, yesterday in fact, as we’re recording this on Thursday, July 13th, somewhat unexpectedly, at a somewhat young age of 73. I know, Drew, that seems very old to you. I can only imagine that Halley probably didn’t even know people got that old, but we do. Danny was such a sweet and gentle guy, who went all the way back to the Harold Ramis, Ivan Reitman, Meatballs days. He was involved with so many big comedy films over the years. It’s just very sad to read about that yesterday. Also, rest in peace, Danny Goldberg.

**John:** That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt with help from Halley Lamberson. It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** You know it.

**John:** Our outro this week is by Jon Spurney. It’s back in the yacht rock tradition that you love so much, Craig.

**Drew:** He said challenge accepted.

**Craig:** Nice.

**John:** If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions, like the ones we answered today. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for our weeklyish newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re great. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one we’re about to record on One D and D. A last reminder, if you want to come to our live show, get your tickets now, because they will be gone very, very soon.

**Craig:** The Jon Bon Jovi of podcasts.

**John:** Thank you for a fun podcast.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Craig, you and I actually already had this conversation, but it was off mic. I want to have this conversation back on mic so we can thrill and/or bore our listeners who care or do not care about these details. The version of D and D that we’ve been playing as a group for the last six, eight years, longer than that? I don’t know how long we’ve been playing D and D with the group.

**Craig:** It’s been like 10 years now.

**John:** Ten years now. It’s called Fifth Edition. Fifth Edition is the version that Wizards of the Coast publishes of D and D, which is a very cleaned up version. It’s based around a die-20, and a lot of fundamental structural things went into Fifth Edition. People really like Fifth Edition. It’s become a very good standard. Yet over the course of these 10 years, things have been added and changed and moved around.

There’s a new version coming out, that doesn’t replace Fifth Edition, but clarifies, streamlines, simplifies some things. This new version is called One D and D. It’s in play-testing right now. I thought we might just walk through some of the changes there. I also want to discuss, how do you tinker with something people love in a way that makes them love it more and doesn’t make them resent you for tinkering with it.

**Craig:** Particularly when you’re dealing with the rule set for an RPG, because people that play tabletop games like this are not known for their flexibility, and they are opinionated. That said, you’re absolutely right. Wizards of the Coast just hit it out of the park with 5E. It transformed their business. It is the most popular version of Dungeons and Dragons ever. That’s for sure. What they seem to be doing, in a good way, is tweaking it based on a lot of input from players. That’s what it feels like to me.

I think a little bit of the change is being presented as maybe giving players a little more flexibility, but really is more about cleaning up some, as the kids say, problematic language, as the world has changed. In Dungeons and Dragons, there are races. The races have traits. I don’t know. People aren’t as into that concept.

**John:** We should say, by races we’re talking there’s humans, but there’s also gnomes and there’s halflings and there’s dragonborn. Within those races, it’s long been established that people can look like a lot of different things, but those are the basic categories.

**Craig:** There were attributes that were connected specifically to race. Certain races were stronger than other races, physically. Certain races were smarter than other races. Certain races come with bonuses for these things. There were also half-races.

In general, I think in a good way, there’s nothing about connecting qualities to race that is inherent. One of the things they’ve said, which I agree with, is that if you disconnect some of these things from race, and instead attach it more to just your choice, you can make more interesting characters. You could always make, for instance, a half-orc wizard. There’s no problem with it. Your character was always going to be lagging behind, because you had started them in a weird way.

**John:** Specifically they’d be disadvantaged, because an orc would not have the intelligence bonus that-

**Craig:** That’s right, an elf would.

**John:** … someone else would.

**Craig:** A high elf would.

**John:** Elf would.

**Craig:** What the half-orc would have would be a bonus in strength, which is useless for a wizard. What they’re saying now, in this new version, is these things are not at all connected to race. You can pick whatever race you want. The bonuses to ability scores are uniform. It’s this amount. You put them where you want. You can have an orcish wizard, without feeling like you’re starting three tiers below your friends. Similarly, you can have a gnomeish barbarian. It’s fun.

**John:** Along with the basic stats, like strength, intelligence, wisdom, constitution, there’s some things that also came along with the character’s chosen race. Those things have been moved into what’s called a background, so basically where you grew up or your origin story informs what sort of skills you might have. That also tracks and makes more sense.

I think an important thing to think about, which is also true for screenwriting, is that the characters in your stories are, by their nature, going to be exceptional. They’re not going to be ordinary folks. It makes sense that your orcish wizard is remarkable and different from other characters out there. The fact they can do these things at all is remarkable. It makes sense that they shouldn’t be confined to certain traits or aspects.

**Craig:** That’s right. They’re also doing a lot of interesting work to even out things that were a little wonky. In the 5E system, as your character levels up, generally speaking, every four levels, it’s different for fighters, you will have a chance to either increase some of your abilities, like strength or intelligence or charisma, or you can take a feat. A feat is a special property that gives you interesting options that you would’ve otherwise had. Some of those feats were great. Some of those feats stank.

**John:** Some of them no one ever used.

**Craig:** Correct. What they’re doing now is, A, balancing the feats out a bit better, but B, to give players, to get them into the feats, because the feats are cool. Currently, every first-level player, as you begin your journey, gets a feat, no matter who you are. It’s tied to background. I think that’s great. Also, the feats themselves will be changing as you level up, which is not the case currently, so that’s fine.

**John:** Craig, thinking back to your original players handbook, from Second Edition or whatever you consider your first, AD and D handbook.

**Craig:** AD and D.

**John:** AD and D. All the spells were printed in there multiple times, in the cleric spell list and the magic-user spell list. It was basically exactly the same spell, but they were in fact padding. They were filling out this book. A change I really respected, at some point they realized, you know what, it’s the same spell. We should just call it the same spell. The spells will be alphabetical now. They’re going further now, where they’re saying rather than have these different spell lists for all these different characters and who gets to cast what spell, we’re going to group them all by three basic categories, primal spells, divine spells, and arcane spells. Arcane is what we think about with wizards casting generally. Divine are things like priests and paladins. Primal would be-

**Craig:** Sorcerers, druids.

**John:** Druids. Rangers might have those primal spells. That tracks and makes sense. It just makes things also a lot simpler in terms of thinking who can cast what spell.

**Craig:** These kinds of simplifications are great. What happens is, over time you can just start to feel those friction points. We’ve solved a lot of those friction points just by the way everything’s become digitized. When we started playing again, we all had the physical book. You have to flip through the book. You had all your tabs to get to the pages. You were constantly going back to your textbook. Now you can just type it up and boop. That’s going to become even more the case as Wizards moves D and D towards their new virtual tabletop platform through D and D Beyond, but to continue to reduce those friction points, which makes total sense.

The other thing, what I appreciate is, as far as I can tell, they’re just asking the question, what would be more fun? Look. Wizards have a thousand different spells they can use. There’s so many choices you can make. If you’re playing a barbarian, you have one choice really. Should I rage or not rage? I guess there’s a sub-choice. Should I attack recklessly or not? Basically, that’s it.

**John:** That’s it.

**Craig:** That’s your thing.

**John:** Hit with sword. Hit with sword.

**Craig:** That’s what you do all day. If that’s what you do all day, currently when you rage, you rage for a minute. What it does is it gives you a couple things, and then it’s over. If you don’t attack somebody or get hit, it ends. They’re like, maybe rage should last for 10 minutes, and you don’t have to get hit or keep hitting. You just get to stay angry for 10 minutes. You get a few other benefits outside of combat as well, which is nice. Just recognizing once a barbarian’s burned through their rage, what the hell are they doing all day with their friends? Everyone else is doing all this cool stuff. They’re like, “Done.”

**John:** I’m excited to play it. I think the next campaign we start, we’ll probably try to use these rules and see what it is. We’re skipping over some smaller rule adjustments which just seem to make sense, conditions that track a little bit better and things like that. These were the big ones. I think it also may result in a little bit less min-maxing of like, “Oh, I’m going to choose a half-elf for this character, because it’ll give me this bonus here.” It’s like, no, just pick the most interesting things for you to play, rather than for the stats.

**Craig:** Yes. Now, let us always remind ourselves that the great body of D and D players are resourceful, smart, and particularly good At finding exploits. Part of what Wizards is doing is also, as they put these test rules out, they are looking for people to basically do the equivalent of white hat hacking, to find weaknesses, because any little slight mistake of wording, and suddenly a Level 1 character may have something that’s way too powerful. We’re not there yet. We’re not near, I don’t think, the final version of this. Maybe by the end of the year.

**John:** Maybe. 2024 is what I’ve seen. Sometime in that, it’ll come out. It’ll be nice. Even though so much of the play has moved online, the resources are online, I still want physical books for this. I really enjoy having my first experience with these things flipping through the pages and seeing that stuff. They may great books.

**Craig:** They do. By the way, have you watched the demo video of what they’re working on virtual tabletop-wise?

**John:** It really does look great.

**Craig:** It’s amazing.

**John:** For listeners at home, it’s a 3D kind of environment. What Craig and I have been playing is called Roll20. It’s a top-down view. It’s like you’re looking at a grid of paper. It’s good. This one that they’re doing for this new version is 3D. Your characters look like little miniature figurines that are moving around.

**Craig:** Which I love.

**John:** Yes, and which is a smart choice. They’re not realistic character things. They’re little figurines. Spells have effects and things, and you see it all.

**Craig:** It’s interesting three-quarter view. It just looks spectacularly good. If I were Roll20 or Fantasy Grounds or any of these other guys, I’d be very nervous right now.

**John:** The Roll20s though, they can also handle other games. They’ll be fine. People who want to play other non-D and D stuff will still be at Roll20.

**Craig:** D and D still accounts for I think about half of their play base. Exciting days ahead for D and D. I’m particularly pleased that based on what they’re saying here, they’re not evening saying hey, this is D and D 6.

**John:** No, it’s not.

**Craig:** Which I think is great. I think they’re just saying, we’re just buffing and polishing 5, because that’s all it needed really. I think that’s great.

**John:** I agree. Craig, thanks.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

Links:

* [Scriptnotes LIVE! at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles](https://www.eventbrite.com/e/scriptnotes-live-tickets-674019238687) benefitting [HollywoodHEART](https://www.hollywoodheart.org/)
* [A catatonic woman awakened after 20 years. Her story may change psychiatry](https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/300895339/a-catatonic-woman-awakened-after-20-years-her-story-may-change-psychiatry) by Richard Sima for Stuff
* [How a dose of MDMA transformed a white supremacist](https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230614-how-a-dose-of-mdma-transformed-a-white-supremacist) by Rachel Nuwer for BBC
* [He Went After Crypto Companies. Then Someone Came After Him.](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/18/business/kyle-roche-crypto-leaks-satoshi.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare) by John Carreyrou for the New York Times
* [Alien biology post](https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/comments/14rp7w9/from_the_late_2000s_to_the_mid2010s_i_worked_as_a/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email) on Reddit
* [Awakenings](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099077/) and [Lorenzo’s Oil](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104756/)
* Scriptnotes episodes [74](https://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-ep-74-three-hole-punchdrunk-transcript), [176](https://johnaugust.com/2014/scriptnotes-ep-176-advice-to-a-first-time-director-transcript), [238](https://johnaugust.com/2016/scriptnotes-ep-238-the-job-of-writer-producer-transcript) and [251](https://johnaugust.com/2016/they-wont-even-read-you).
* [The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom](https://www.zelda.com/tears-of-the-kingdom/)
* Larry Turman on [IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0877274/) and [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Turman).
* Dan Goldberg on [IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0325175/) and [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Goldberg_(producer)).
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [Craig Mazin](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/) on Instagram
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Jon Spurney ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt with help from Halley Lamberson, and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli).

Scriptnotes, Episode 604: That’s a Good Question, Transcript

August 11, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/thats-a-good-question).

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Heads up that this episode has just a little bit of swearing in it. Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** Ow. My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 604 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Now, often on this podcast, we answer listener questions. Today, we are going to question questions themselves, exploring what’s really happening when characters in movies ask questions.

**Craig:** Are you high?

**John:** And crafty.

**Craig:** This is the closest we’ve ever come to being a weed-based podcast.

**John:** Absolutely. That does feel very high and very trippy.

**Craig:** What if we question, what is the questions about questions themselves?

**John:** Questions about questions, man. It did feel that way as I started outlining it, but then as I dug into it, it was like, you know what, our characters are asking questions all the time. Some of the most famous lines of dialog are questions. We’ll look into why characters ask questions, and as writers, what we should be thinking about when we put a question in a character’s mouth.

**Craig:** I’m down for that, which is good, because I have no choice.

**John:** You have no choice.

**Craig:** I have no choice.

**John:** You’re a passenger on this ride to some degree. Plus, let’s follow up on some earlier episodes and maybe answer some listener questions that have come in new this past week. In our Bonus Segment for Premium members, Craig, I want to discuss the financial backgrounds of superheroes and supervillains and the strange patterns of inherited wealth, which I’m not sure I had considered before I read this article.

**Craig:** That’s fascinating. Lot of weird money.

**John:** Weird money.

**Craig:** Weird money, weird families of people with money.

**John:** With power.

**Craig:** With power.

**John:** Royalty.

**Craig:** Royalty. People love royalty.

**John:** Speaking of Premium members, Drew, you got an email from a listener who was talking about our Premium membership.

**Drew Marquardt:** Yeah. We’ll start it off with a question. Kate writes, “I wonder if you would be open to restarting the discount code for annual subscribers to Scriptnotes. I know it’s just $10, but like most folks, I’m economizing in every way I can until the Strike is over, and I thought it couldn’t hurt to ask, especially since a lot of other listeners are likely in even worse shape, as out-of-work assistants or what have you.”

**Craig:** Let’s increase the price. John.

**John:** Jacking up the price all the way to the stratosphere.

**Craig:** This is a chance for us to triple the price and finally turn this podcast into what it was always meant to be, an exclusive, sky-box-like experience for CEOs.

**John:** That’s what it is.

**Craig:** Or…

**John:** Or we could do what Kate suggests. Let’s bring back the discount code. Last time it was onion. This time let’s have it be summer. If you go to scriptnotes.net and you sign up for a Premium membership, use that promo code, summer, to save some money there.

**Craig:** That’s a fine idea. Just so people understand, this is if you buy all 12 months at once, as opposed to buying a month at a time? Is that the idea?

**John:** Exactly. People should buy all 12 months, because it’s just so much cheaper. We really encouraged people when we had Rian on, because we looked at our numbers. We’re like, why are people paying month after month? It actually is much cheaper and better for everybody, and it reduces turn. It makes things easier for everyone if you do the annual. You sign up for an annual membership, using the code summer will save you some money. We can keep this code running through the end of July, let’s say.

**Craig:** It says summer. Maybe August. How much money are we going to lose if we do this? Am I going to be in trouble?

**John:** You won’t be in trouble. At a certain point, a discount code becomes not even a discount code if it’s just the normal.

**Craig:** I hear what you’re saying. It’s gotta be special.

**John:** It’s gotta be special. At least through the end of July, we’ll be doing it. Honestly, you should do it now if you want to sign up for it, because that way you can save some money.

**Craig:** Let’s just say that once we hit the end of July, the price will be $100 a month.

**John:** Wow.

**Craig:** Get this over with.

**John:** Craig making big economic decisions here.

**Craig:** Get this over with, guys. Get in now.

**John:** Get in now.

**Craig:** While you can.

**John:** Cool. Craig, back in Episode 487 and Episode 489, we talked about the possibility of a GameStop movie.

**Craig:** Of course.

**John:** GameStop, of course, was the stalk that rose up so high, and based on nothing, people were making money on it, losing money on it. We talked about how would this be a movie, is there a GameStop movie to be made. I can report the answer is yes, because there’s now a trailer for the GameStop movie, which Sony is putting out. I liked the trailer a lot. Did you look at the trailer?

**Craig:** I haven’t looked at the trailer. Just refresh my memory. Did we agree that it was a movie? I can’t remember.

**John:** We agreed that there was some kind of movie here. We have a quote here from you, Craig. The bet is that, A, you’re going to have a story that ultimately turns out to be something that is a full story, B, will it still be relevant when the movie comes out, that it won’t feel dated or like yesterday’s news, and C, will it feature characters that are fascinating and feature actors and filmmakers that people connect with. That’s a pretty big gamble. This is based on a book by Ben Mezrich called The Antisocial Network. Ben Mezrich [MASS-ritch], I don’t know how to pronounce his last name.

**Craig:** MEZ-ritch.

**John:** How do you pronounce that?

**Craig:** I would say MEZ-ritch.

**John:** MEZ-ritch. It’s written by Lauren Schuker Blum and Rebecca Angelo, directed by-

**Craig:** By the way, I love them. They’re so great.

**John:** How do you know them?

**Craig:** A few years ago, I was working with them. They had a project at HBO. It was halfway into something. It was on its way. It needed a little… No one was quite sure. HBO wasn’t quite sure. They put us together on a date to see if we liked each other, because I liked their writing, and I liked the project. We worked on it for a bit, and then it just fell apart because of various reasons, not because I’m a terrible person. Other reasons. Not because they’re bad writers. They’re fantastic. Lauren and Rebecca are wonderful.

I think it was Rebecca would always say… I’m very gentle. I think when I’m working with people, if I have thoughts, I don’t want to beat them over the head with them. I would get to a page and go, “Okay, this scene.” She would see my hesitance and say, “Craig, just so you know, our love language is abuse. Go ahead,” which weirdly made me even more gentle. They’re terrific. Now I know this is going to be fun. They’re great.

**John:** Directed by Craig Gillespie, who did I, Tonya and-

**Craig:** Good director.

**John:** … Cruella. It feels like a good combination of people here. You got some Seth Rogen in there. You got your boy Jason Bateman in there. I think it’s going to be a promising movie. We’ll put a link in the show notes to that. It’s always nice when we see a How Would This be a Movie that actually becomes a movie.

**Craig:** It is.

**John:** It’s all because of us.

**Craig:** I knew that was going to be a movie, because I remember just multiple people calling. There were multiple people calling me, going, “Okay, I got the rights to that.” I’m like, “That’s weird, because two hours ago, somebody else called with different rights.” There were a lot of people calling a lot of people. There was that moment. Then what’s interesting here is it crystallizes around a book, which I think is very smart. It is relevant. It is still relevant, because corporations and stocks and also the bizarre influence of the internet is still very much in play. I think there is relevance to it. I don’t know if it’s a full story or not. That’s the interesting part. Don’t know. They certainly have actors and filmmakers that people connect with. All told, stonks.

**John:** I’m really excited.

**Craig:** Stonks.

**John:** Stonks.

**Craig:** Stonks.

**John:** Stonks.

**Craig:** Stonks. By the way, we talked about NFTs fairly early on, because you, of course, were right there on the bleeding edge of NFTs.

**John:** I remember my case for NFTs was I believed it was going to succeed. It was going to be something like Disney was going to have something like an NFT for digital collectibles. That never happened. I was wrong.

**Craig:** That didn’t happen. Some other super dumb shit happened instead, which was mind-blowing to me. I don’t know how I forgot that there was an entire feeding frenzy over digital images of apes, but there was. Anyway, all that fell apart. I know, I know, we’re all just shocked that a $800,000 image that anyone can also have on their computer wouldn’t hold its value. I know. I know. I know.

**John:** It’s wild.

**Craig:** I’m going to get that Beeple thing and put in my house. What is that, $68 million or something?

**John:** Do it.

**Craig:** No one can stop me.

**John:** Craig, your house is gorgeous, but I think it is lacking some Beeple art.

**Craig:** Lacking Beeple.

**John:** Lacking some Beeple.

**Craig:** I’m going to throw some Beeple on there. There is art to be made of other people buying Beeple. I want a painting-

**John:** That’s what it is.

**Craig:** … of somebody buying the Beeple art. Anyway, this is exciting. I’m going to check out that trailer almost entirely because of Lauren and Rebecca.

**John:** Love it. The next bit of follow-up comes from Hollins. Drew, what does Hollins write?

**Drew:** Hollins says, “I’ve been listening for seven or eight years, and this is the first time I’ve written in. I have no connection to the entertainment industry or screenwriting. I’m a statistician in the pharmaceutical industry. After listening to the outro for Episode 602, I felt compelled to send this note imploring you to request Jon Spurney to compose an extended version of that tune. I must’ve listened to it 20 times by now. The world needs a full three minutes of that bumping ’80s cop drama inspired theme.”

**Craig:** Hollins, I love that you love this. I am completely into Jon Spurney not only extending that song, but doing an entire album. It’s not so much ’80s cop drama as it is yacht rock.

**John:** Yeah, it’s a little of that too.

**Craig:** That is right down the… Chris Cross, that’s who Jon Spurney’s taking off here. Chris Cross, Christopher Cross, is right up there in the Hall and Oates of fame of yacht rock. Like all great yacht rock songs, and I mean all great yacht rock songs, Michael McDonald pops up somewhere. (sings) Excellent. Jon Spurney, not only would it be great for you to complete that, but yeah, let’s see, maybe you could (sings: down in Jamaica they got lots of pretty women). Yeah, do that one.

**John:** That’d be good.

**Craig:** (Sings: on and on, they just keep on podcasting.) Come on, Jon.

**John:** Cool. Great. We’ve assigned some work to Jon Spurney. Thank you, Jon Spurney. Here is further work assigned to you by us and by Hollins, which is really what we live to do.

**Craig:** Thank you, Hollins. Agreed.

**John:** Last bit of follow-up is on pitch decks. Help us out there.

**Drew:** Bruce writes, “In Episodes 599 and 601, the topic of pitch decks came up and how more and more often they’re becoming a required skill for screenwriters. You all are not alone. I’m not a screenwriter, but I am a scientist, working for a major consumer goods company. The old painfully naïve adage of good science should speak for itself hasn’t really been true for years. The most successful scientists are ones who can describe to the marketers what they’ve invented in a language that marketers speak, so using PowerPoint, Google Slides, Keynote, or whatever, and show what language the marketers can use, basically doing a miniature version of their job for them, so they can see the potential more clearly. You’d think the marketers and scientists would work on all this together. Nope. We make pitch decks. As a result, many of us have gotten pretty damn good at making decks. I wonder if there’s a business opportunity there. Cheap deck help for those of us wanting to help out writers. Anyway, we can commiserate together. Decks are a pain but essential all over.”

**John:** The point here is that decks have become their own new form of communication. It’s not surprising that we have to use them as screenwriters to explain what we’re doing visually. People have come to expect them in all industries as an alternative to, here, I’m going to hand you a document for you to look at while I’m describing this thing. No. You have to have pictures in front of your eyes while I talk you through this process.

**Craig:** Pitch decks are just the PowerPoint-ized version of stuff that’s been around forever. When we were kids and we would watch a cartoon and there was a scene with a businessman, he would always be standing in front of a thing on an easel.

**John:** It’s very mathematic.

**Craig:** He would be whacking at it with this long stick. There would be a pie chart or a bar graph. We’ve always done it. My first job in LA, my first real job was at an advertising company. When we would go make a presentation, we would have all these things on foam core that had been put… It was just a non-electrified PowerPoint back then. I hate them. I hate them. My eyes get so heavy.

**John:** They can get really heavy. A couple years back, I was talking with some folks who were doing reality shows. I was curious, how do you pitch reality shows. It’s entirely a deck. A deck isn’t what you would think of, which is basically like, I’m going to talk you through this deck. Actually, the deck is the whole thing. Rather than sending it through a proposal in some other way, the deck has all the information, and it has a lot of text in it too. The idea is that person is going to be going through this side by side and reading the things. It’s really making the whole case for itself there. The deck could be shipped independently of somebody actually presenting the deck. I hope we don’t get there as screenwriters.

**Craig:** I’m sure we will.

**John:** We will.

**Craig:** I’m sure we will.

**John:** That becomes free work. That is a leave behind.

**Craig:** We shouldn’t. I’m sure we will. We, not me or you, but others, because people like to get jobs. If I were on the buying side of things, I would be suspicious of decks, because am I just getting decked? At some point, you’re supposed to be aiming towards the end of a very long process, and you have to project forward in your mind. Are you just, at this point, buying an impressive deck so you can show somebody look how good the deck is? It’s dangerous.

**John:** It’s like buying a sizzle reel that’s cut from other films. It’s like, yeah, that’s what this might feel like, but are you actually going to be able to make that thing?

**Craig:** Yeah. Like, “Cool sizzle reel. I guess we should hire the filmmakers that shot the things that you put in your sizzle reel.” By the way, I also don’t understand those. In my mind, it’s almost embarrassing to say, “Look, this is the kind of thing I want to make. Let me show you stuff other people have made.” It’s almost like an admission of a lack of originality. I don’t know. It’s all cringey to me, but then again, I’m old. I’m old. I’m old-

**John:** From a different time.

**Craig:** … and soon to be completely irrelevant. Not yet.

**John:** Not yet.

**Craig:** But soon.

**John:** You’re still making stuff.

**Craig:** I’m still in the game. I’m vital. I’m vital.

**John:** You’re vital. You’re essential.

**Craig:** I’m essential, for now.

**John:** For now.

**Craig:** But soon, you can all point and laugh at me and say, “Oh my god, that was the guy who did that thing that I can’t remember the name of.” Oh god, I can’t wait. Let’s discuss questions about questions.

**John:** Questions about questions. This idea came to me because, on Monday I was out on the picket lines at Netflix, and I got asked a bunch of questions, which always happens, because I have a little badge, and people ask me questions. Some of the questions I got were, “How long is the Strike going to last? What do you think of the proposed California tax credits? How’s it going out here?” and, “How many flashbacks can a movie have?” a very specific crafty question I got on the picket line, from a woman who asked a specific question, different from all the other questions.

**Craig:** Let’s start with the first one. You don’t have to give us down to the day, but I think a week should be fine. Just give a sense of how many more weeks we have to go.

**John:** Absolutely. Those are the kind of things which I have prepared answers for. It got me thinking about, okay, I understand why the person’s asking the question, and the person seems to think that there is an answer. They think it’s a closed question that actually has an answer. Instead, what I need to give them is a, here is the general framework for how we will know when the Strike is over, when there’s going to be a deal to be reached.

**Craig:** When it’s over, when the Strike is over, when someone says, “Hey everyone, the Strike is over.” That’s it. It’s a little disconcerting that people who vote for a Strike think that there is some sort of pre-programmed end terminus. We do love certainty. I will say that much. We crave it. We absolutely crave it. Right now, we don’t have much. I understand the anxiety.

**John:** It got me thinking about questions themselves and why we ask questions in the real world, but also how people ask questions in movies and TV and how crucial they are to dialog. We haven’t talked so much about this part of dialog in all of our 600-odd episodes. I thought we would really dig into it. This is different from… We’ve often talked about the central dramatic question, which is basically what is the question the film is trying to answer. These are questions that are asked within dialog, between characters, and why people are asking these questions and digging into how they can be useful as a tool. I thought, Craig, we might start with just some famous questions from previous films, maybe just take turns reading through these. For example, “Feel lucky, punk?”

**Craig:** “Are you trying to seduce me?”

**John:** “Would you like me to seduce you?”

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** “Would you like to play a game?”

**Craig:** “Why so serious?”

**John:** “You talking to me?”

**Craig:** You put a G on that. You’re not from New York at all.

**John:** That was a “talkin’.” I don’t think I said “talking.”

**Craig:** You did. You did.

**John:** Let’s check the tape.

**Craig:** I will say we will run the tape back. If you’re from Staten Island, like myself, that was a mile away. That was a mile away. If there’s a question from somebody from Colorado, you’re doing that one.

**John:** I don’t say the Ts in mountain, but putting on the Gs on things that don’t need Gs. It’s confusing.

**Craig:** “You talking to me? You talking to me?”

**John:** “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

**Craig:** “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”

**John:** “Do you want to build a snowman?”

**Craig:** “What’s your favorite scary movie?”

**John:** “Funny how? Funny like a clown? Do I amuse you?”

**Craig:** That was bad.

**John:** That was really bad.

**Craig:** I was cringing because I thought-

**John:** Yeah, cringe.

**Craig:** … oh, it’s happening again. It was all right. It was all right. It was all right. It was all right. “Funny how? Funny like a clown?” See, it’s a whole thing. It’s a New York thing.

**John:** You’re also the person who does voices. I’m not the person who does voices.

**Craig:** I do some voices. I don’t even know this one. “Would you like us to assign someone to-”

**John:** I don’t know what that is.

**Drew:** It’s from Mean Girls.

**Craig:** We’re old men. Oh my god. I love that it just disappeared from the Workflowy. It’s gone. “Bueller? Bueller?”

**John:** “What’s in the box?”

**Craig:** “Are you not entertained?”

**John:** (Singing: tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?)

**Craig:** “Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?”

**John:** “Have you checked the children?”

**Craig:** “Did we just become best friends?”

**John:** Oh, Stepbrothers.

**Craig:** Stepbrothers.

**John:** Questions are sometimes there to frame the next bit of dialog, but sometimes they are fundamental to the character and where we’re going to. Let’s think through some situations where you’re going to have a lot of questions being asked. Obviously, trials. Any classroom. It maybe has Socratic method in there, some dialog where the teacher’s asking questions of students and responding with questions. Interrogations are all questions. Journalists, press briefings. Within any relationship, questions between the two people.

**Craig:** True.

**John:** Deflecting, flirting, making small talk, keeping a ball in the air. Therapy. Therapy is a lot of questions. Sometimes we’re using it to get crucial pieces of exposition out there, like, “Are you still a journalist?” Sometimes we need to demonstrate active listening, that the characters are really paying attention to what the other character is saying, establishing want and motive.

Craig, as we think through questions, think through questions in stuff you’ve written, stuff that you’ve seen, and stuff you’ve loved, you’re not going to ask a question unless there’s a person you can ask the question of. To me, it forms a social contract between those two characters. You are a person who has information that I want or that I deem worthy of asking the question. Then there’s also a social hierarchy of like, are you even allowed to ask me a question. There’s an interesting balancing thing whenever a question comes into play.

**Craig:** I’ll throw one more other kind of question on that maybe skirts around the idea that you have information that I want, and that’s the manipulative question.

**John:** Of course.

**Craig:** I’m trapping you.

**John:** Give me an example.

**Craig:** I don’t know if you saw Moneyball.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** There’s a scene where Brad Bitt, who’s playing Billy Beane, the GM of the Oakland As, who’s trying desperately to put together a winning team out of no money, he’s got all of his scouts. They’re basically talking about how they’re going to replace Jason Giambi, their star first baseman who’s basically went into free agency off to the Yankees. They’re coming up with all these ways to do it. He basically says, “Let me ask you something. If there’s somebody else out there like Jason Giambi, can we afford them? Are we going to be able to get anybody that is going to add up to what he does, like him?” They say no. He goes, “Then what the fuck are you talking about, man?”

It’s sort of like, why are you following this course of action when we can’t do it? We can’t get there. We’re going to have to figure out some other bizarre way to fill the gap left behind by this baseball player. These guys are just not thinking outside of the box. Asking leading questions when you know the answer, and you need to have somebody look with eyes open and get out of their own head or face some uncomfortable truths, is another reason we ask questions.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** To trap people.

**John:** Yeah, to trap people or at least get them following your train of thought. Sometimes they’re leading questions. Sometimes they’re rhetorical questions, where you’re not actually asking a question to get an answer, you’re asking a question to move them to the next line of thought.

You talked a bit about, there’s the notion of open questions versus closed questions. Closed questions have a definitive answer, yes, no, true, false. There is an answer to a closed question. An open question, how are you feeling today? The person who’s asking the question doesn’t necessarily know the answer. Most importantly, the person answering the question could say anything. There’s a lot of latitude given there for what the answer is.

The point you raise is that, a lot of times a person who’s asking a question does know the answer, or at least knows the answer that they want to hear. They’re asking the question in a specific way to put that person on the spot either privately or publicly. That’s a crucial dynamic to be thinking about any time you’re choosing to put that question mark there.

**Craig:** Sometimes it’s better to use questions to help a character disguise fear. You can ask a question, a very small kind of question, and somebody can say, “We have much, much bigger problems.” Then the person asking the question could say, “I know. I’m just trying to do something. Just tell me, how do I open the door?” We use questions all the time for reasons beyond the obvious.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** Really, when you’re writing, sometimes the useful, I guess, the instructive advice would be, is there something somebody could say that would be better posed as a strange question that somebody else could question, because now you’re going to pull something out of somebody, as opposed to somebody just announcing something.

**John:** Absolutely. The simplest way to be thinking about it is, would somebody actually just say this next thing, or is this a way for this to be summoned, evoked by a question that comes out of it. The danger is that the really hacky way is that you just have a character in scene whose whole job is just to ask the question that lets the other person answer the question. That could feel repetitive and junky. If someone’s always setting the ball so the person can spike it, that’s not going to be fun.

Well-done questions can move the train of thought along and get you in a place that the audience is trying to answer the question with them. It’s provoking a chain of thought within the audience.

**Craig:** As you go through your day, there’s an exercise you can do where you say to somebody that you’re with, “Every time I ask a question, just go, ‘You asked a question,'” and then write it down, because you won’t remember, and you won’t even realize you’re asking the questions when you ask them. It goes by that fast. Somebody is going to hold you accountable. You are going to write down all the questions that you ask.

You’re going to realize how many of them are not doing the thing you think questions normally do. They’re doing other things. If you can figure out how to plug into those strange sideways questions that are helping you avoid things, helping you minimize things, helping you advance what you want to be true, then you start to find things.

Of course, there are times where somebody’s just interested, where somebody really does want to know something. When characters are dealing with the hardware of a plot, of course, you may say, “All right, how do we deal with this?” A bunch of Chernobyl is people going, “What do we do?” It’s a very simple question, what do we do? They really wanted to know, what do we do?

Sometimes the questions are different. Sometimes the questions are about self-protection, manipulation, self-delusion, seduction, all sorts of things that we can do where we choose to put something in the form of a question, to imply that the other person has a full choice in answering, when in fact, we don’t always.

**John:** Absolutely. You’re giving them a very limited set of options to choose between. A thing that is very useful in the real world, which I’m sure you can absolutely use for dramatic purposes, but I think you should be careful using it for dramatic purposes, is that often we will ask questions to distract from the thing we don’t want to be talking about. You’ll use it as a way of changing topics, to go on to another thing. That could be a very valid strategy in the real world. It can often be used in comedies and dramas.

Just be mindful of the fact that in scenes, you’re trying to get to a point. If a character’s going to use a question to distract off of a thing, make sure that we’re going to someplace that’s going to be interesting dramatically, and we’re not just lessening the tension within the scene.

**Craig:** Imagine yourself in the audience. If the audience is going to realize that that question is designed to dodge or duck, then probably the character in the scene that’s hearing the question would also be smart enough to realize that, at which point it now becomes a game of, am I going to confront what just happened here, or am I going to go along and answer it, knowing full well what’s going on, in which case I’m the one in charge now. That is why questions are interesting. They give people choices, more than anything else.

**John:** They do.

**Craig:** If you make a statement, there is no choice for another person to make. If you put it in the form of a question, now that character has a choice. Now they have to figure out what they want to do. Questions are, I think, more fun.

**John:** They are. We’re talking about questions generally as a dyad, so there’s a questioner and the person answering the question. Sometimes questions are actually in a group situation. That also changes the dynamics. If I ask a question of a group of people, the social pressure of who is going to answer the question, who is going to step up first to risk the humiliation of answering the question wrong, or will leap into it with opinion and take control of the conversation. Be thinking about questions not just as two people talking. It can be a part of a group dynamic.

Of course, there’s times where a question is part of a larger speech, where it’s given to a bigger group of people. Rhetorical questions that you’re not expecting people to answer in that moment, but really you’re helping to frame your argument by asking a question that people are answering in their minds but not saying aloud.

**Craig:** You make an interesting point about a group, even if you’re not on stage. Let’s say it’s a scene, it’s a party, and there are six people just chatting. One person says, “Hold on, I have a question for everybody.” That person has shifted the focus of that conversation to them. They are now in charge. They have created a framework of the conversation that other people will now participate in. It’s understood that there’s a reason they’re asking that question, that it’s not just a random question, but rather they have a stronger opinion about it than you probably do, or they’ve thought about it more than you do, or they’re about to challenge your answer. Either way, that is a focus shifter and a focus focuser, which is interesting.

**John:** They’re declaring a social status that they are entitled to ask this question, because if they were lower ranking in the group, they shouldn’t be able to take the talking stick and ask the question of the whole group. That does change things. It’s a risk for them to be taking that role, which is exciting for a scene.

**Craig:** It is an expression of confidence. Even if everybody’s roughly on the same level of things, it’s a way of saying, actually, I am now slightly elevated above you all. Whether you realized it or not, I became the leader of everything that is going to be said from here forward, because I frame things through a question. We fall for this in real life all the time. All the time, people just start, “I have a question for everybody.” Everybody suddenly is a child in a classroom. You don’t even know how it happened. It just does.

**John:** We all remember situations where someone has tried to do that, and no, no, no, no, no, you don’t get to do that. That’s the risk of trying to take that role.

**Craig:** “Shut up, idiot. No one cares, idiot.” That could happen, theoretically. You don’t want to… You gotta pick your moments.

**John:** I bought a new car recently.

**Craig:** Congrats.

**John:** I just hate buying cars. Everyone hates buying cars. I liked filling out a form and getting a Tesla. That was a good experience. Every other experience of buying a car is just like, “How are you doing today? What are you looking for?” and the constant series of questions that is designed to lead you down a funnel to get you to say yes to buying a car on that day.

**Craig:** John, you haven’t thought about using a car broker?

**John:** You know what? I had a car broker before, and that car broker quit the business. I couldn’t find a good car broker. I think I did ask you about a car broker. Maybe I forgot to ask you about a car broker.

**Craig:** You forgot to ask me, because I got a good one.

**John:** You got one?

**Craig:** I got one. I got one. You somehow end up spending less, and you don’t have to do any of that miserable stuff.

**John:** It was a good reminder of, oh, that’s right, there is this whole process. It’s the game that is being played. You’re filling out the form, but in a social interaction to get you through there.

**Craig:** Salesmen in particular are masters of that sort of thing, because so much of what they do is organized manipulation, practiced manipulation. Same thing with magicians, by the way.

**John:** Of course.

**Craig:** Note how many questions they ask. They are getting you to think about what they want you to think about, while they’re doing other stuff. Then of course, religious leaders do this all the time. They’re always asking questions. Why is it that so and so and so and so? Everybody leans forward. “Why?” Then he answers the question for you. Oh my gosh.

We talked about certainty earlier. Somebody said to you, “Hey, how much more longer is this strike going to go?” What they want is the certainty and comfort of an answer. Asking questions that you can then answer for people is creating a synthetic comfort. It’s not real. It’s not rooted in anything true. It’s a way to create comfort.

Especially when you’re dealing with characters who are smart and want things, questions are a great way to go about stuff. They also can be very intimidating too. There’s that weird thing that happens when somebody asks you a question that you weren’t expecting at all, and they’re very strangely calm about it. You think, this is not going to go anywhere good at all. At all.

**John:** Like, “Do you think these locks are strong enough to keep somebody out of this house?”

**Craig:** That’s definitely a huge red flag. There’s also just the strange, “Let me ask you something. Have you ever seen a dead dog?” I don’t know where this is going. It’s not anywhere good.

**John:** You’re not leaning into that conversation. You’re taking a little step back there.

**Craig:** “No.” “Interesting, because… ” I’m like, uh. Very powerful to use the question mark. Question mark appears in the stuff I write, constantly. You know what almost never appears?

**John:** Exclamation point?

**Craig:** Bingo.

**John:** I’ll use an exclamation point when someone truly is shouting.

**Craig:** Shouting. Literally shouting.

**John:** Cool. Let’s answer some listener questions. I see two or three here. Drew, do you want to start us off with M?

**Drew:** “In 2016, I wrote a spec feature script that got some attention, Nicholl semifinalist, Hollywood blacklist, etc. It was eventually optioned by Amazon, where it was in development for five years or so. Various people came and went. Some people got fired. Some people lost interest. Whatever. It fell apart. Classic development hell. After the film option expired, I tried to reimagine it as a limited series for streaming. I spent about a year re-tooling, wrote the pilot, series bible, and mapped out seven episodes in some detail, but alas, I could not interest my reps to send it out. I was told, ‘Very hard for a first-time writer to break in with a TV pilot. You need to be a person already working in TV with some credits.’ As you can probably tell, I’m having a hard time letting go with this story, so currently I’m writing it as a novel. I figure if I can publish it, at least that way I will have some closure. My very long-winded question is, have you ever seen or heard of a situation where somebody successfully turns a screenplay into a book, and would you have any advice for me on that?”

**John:** My instinct here is that M probably needs to focus his attention on writing something else, because I’m a little concerned that it’s going to be that you got your one thing, and too much of your identity is wrapped up in this one thing. I do know some examples of people who have written books on things. Craig, what are you thinking?

**Craig:** I agree. By the way, when your reps say, “Very hard for a first-time writer to break in with a TV pilot. You need to be a person already working in TV with some credits,” what they’re really saying is, this isn’t good enough, dude, because believe me, if it were awesome, they would not be saying that. That is one of those thousands of ways people can say no.

You are having a hard time letting go of this story. I understand why. My guess is this was the first thing you wrote that gave you that feeling of legitimacy. There was even an option from a company and some money and there was development. Point is, it legitimized you, because I’m not seeing anything else in your question that implies other sales or other things. When you have something that legitimizes you, it’s hard to let it go. It feels like you’re being maybe stupid or something. You’re going to have to write another thing. You’re going to have to write another thing.

By the way, that spec feature script, it hasn’t disintegrated. It’s still there. You never know. It was optioned, so it’d come back to you, I presume. It wasn’t bought. Somebody else might like it. In the meantime, yeah, you could write it as a novel, but I’m starting to get concerned that you don’t have the confidence to write a different thing.

What I would suggest, M, is write something else first. Then come back around and consider turning your spec feature script, the first one, into a novel. Give yourself the forced opportunity to prove to yourself that you are more than a one-story writer.

**John:** I 100% agree. Thinking back to writers who’ve done the opposite of adaptation, where they’ve taken a screenplay and gone to a book, our own Aline Brosh McKenna has her graphic novel, Jane. It’s based on a screenplay that she’d written. That’s a reverse adaptation example.

I also want to go back to, you wrote a pilot, series bible, and mapped out seven episodes in some detail for that series. If your reps had been excited or if your reps had been invested in the idea, that next would’ve been to, “Great, I see a lot of potential here. You are not a TV showrunner. You have no experience with that. Let’s see if we can find somebody who is a TV showrunner who’s really excited about this idea, and partner you guys up so you could actually do this as a show and take this out to sell.” That’s the kind of thing that could work. I’m a little disappointed that your reps didn’t see that as a possibility.

**Craig:** Oh, I think they saw.

**John:** I think that’s also fair too, is that they didn’t think that what they were reading there was going to attract the kind of showrunner to make this possible to take out on the town. I’m sorry, M, but that’s the reality of it.

**Craig:** Yeah, that’s the deal. If you had your representatives a pilot, a bible, and the bible is thorough enough to map out seven episodes, they have enough information. It doesn’t cost them much, other than reputation, to pick up the phone, call somebody else, and say, “Hey, you should take a look at this. It’s pretty awesome.” That’s all they ever do is just-

**John:** That’s all they do.

**Craig:** … is just say, “Hey, you should take a look at this. This is a hot writer,” and blah blah blah blah blah. They didn’t, and it’s because they just don’t think people are going to say yes. They don’t want people to call them back and say, “Why would you send me this?” It’s not there. It’s just not there. It’s fine. Write another thing. Then who knows?

**John:** You know you can write. You got attention of the Nicholl’s. You got the blacklist. It got optioned. You know you can write a thing. Don’t think about it being like… That was not about this one piece of material. It’s about you actually were able to write it. Write something else.

**Craig:** Write something else. Write something else. At this point, I think, John, you and I have written so much stuff that there are absolutely at least three things, at least three things we’ve written at length, that we have completely forgotten we’ve done.

**John:** Oh, no idea that I wrote them, yeah.

**Craig:** Gone. That’s what you’re aiming for. You’re aiming for writing so many things that you won’t even remember this spec feature script. Now, it may be that somebody one day goes, “Hey, you know what we’re looking for is a blank.” You’re like, “Guess what I’ve got in my drawer. Now, we’re going to have to polish it a little bit.” It may be that that happens. In the meantime, write different and write more.

**John:** Agreed. Let’s do one more question here.

**Drew:** CJ in Australia writes, “I work for a small production company here in Sydney. We produce a show for a TV network probably akin to NBC. I’ve been given the role as an assistant editor and as a PA on the TV show. However, I’m concerned about my position in the industry at this job. The production office I work is very small. There’s only four of us. I’m worried that using this opportunity might stifle my future career plans and limit me in the long run. I want to leave. However, I’m constantly told by my boss that I do not possess the skills to go anywhere else and I should be more grateful for my opportunity where I am. I am, however, very grateful for the position. He knows this. I haven’t finished my university degree yet. I’ve been at the business for a year and a half. I hear from others that he thinks my work is great. Is he manipulating me? Is he being toxic, or is he correct? I understand that I can’t give all the details here, but I’m looking for some advice from people in the position I want to be.”

**Craig:** Boy.

**John:** Boy. I’m looking through this question. I can’t figure out how long CJ’s been in this specific job, which I think would be really helpful information to know.

**Craig:** Still in college.

**John:** Still in college.

**Craig:** How long has he been, or she?

**John:** It couldn’t be more than four years. You’ve been at the business for a year and a half, so I guess maybe it’s been in this one job for a year and a half. Within a year and a half, at a starting level place like this, where you came in at the ground floor, if this boss is telling you you don’t have the skills to go anywhere else, I think you gotta question that. I think you need to find some people outside of this firm to talk to and figure out, do I know what I’m doing, am I employable someplace else, because you very well could be. I think this boss may be holding onto you because you’re liable, you’re probably not too expensive, and he doesn’t really want to replace you. That’s my first instincts. Craig, what are you thinking?

**Craig:** Let’s look at it from another point of view. CJ has a job. CJ is in college. CJ, while in college, gets a job that college kids generally get. In fact, it’s a little bit better. Assistant editor and a PA on a TV show, which a lot of people want to do when they’re in college. CJ is concerned about their position in the industry at this job.

Let me start out by saying, CJ, you’re not old enough to be concerned about your position in an industry at that job. You’re still in college. What do you mean you’re concerned about it? You’re starting where you start, at the beginning. The production office you work for is very small, and you’re worried that using this opportunity might stifle your future career plans. Detail how that will happen. I want to know how working as a PA when you’re in college is going to stifle future career plans.

Also, and this is another red flag for me, you are “constantly told my boss that you do not possess the skills to go anywhere else,” which by the way, I believe, you’re in college, “and you should be more grateful for my opportunity,” which I also believe, because you seem to be questioning whether or not you’re too big for this gig. What I don’t understand is, he’s saying you should be more grateful for your opportunity, and you’re saying, “I am, and he knows this.” It doesn’t sound like he does. I don’t know. He’s saying, “I hear from others that he thinks my work is great.” I didn’t see anything in your question that implied that he didn’t think your work was great. Your work as a PA is great.

“Is he manipulating me? Is he being toxic, or is he correct?” I don’t know, but I would say I’m concerned about the level of entitlement implied in the questions. You are in college, and you are working in the exact job a college student should be working at. You’re getting paid. There are college students who are getting stuck in these terrible unpaid internships. You’re getting paid, and you’re in college. This is about where you ought to be. Even if you don’t like it, I don’t see how it could possibly stifle future career plans or limit you in the long run.

**John:** I question your assumption that CJ is still currently in college, because if we look at the sentence here, “I am, however, very grateful for the position. He knows this. I haven’t finished my university degree yet.” CJ could’ve started a university degree, stopped, now is working in this place. We don’t know that CJ is early 20s. CJ could be older than this. CJ may feel like without a university degree, I’m not going to be able to get a better position, even after working there for a year and a half. I don’t know that we know that CJ is currently in college.

**Craig:** If CJ dropped out of college… It doesn’t say that CJ left college and isn’t going back. It just says, “I haven’t finished it yet,” which implies… It really doesn’t matter how old you are. If you are at the level that somebody who is in college is at, then that’s the level you’re at. If you are entering the business with zero experience, it doesn’t matter if you’re 20 or 60. You have zero experience. This is where you start.

I’m a bit befuddled by the over-thinking and calculation here, when what I’m hearing is, “I am new to the business. I am in an entry level job, because I’m entry level, and I don’t think it’s good enough, or I don’t think I belong here, or I’m worried it’s not where I should be, and it’s going to hurt… ” When he or she says “might stifle my future career plans,” that’s what I’m getting really hung up on. I just don’t know how that’s possible. What future career plan can you imagine that would be stifled by working an entry level job when you’re an entry level individual?

**John:** I get that. My best advice for CJ though is that they need to find people who are around their level, who are not working for this firm, and just get a baseline check of where I’m at, what’s going on here, because CJ’s writing to us, two screenwriters living in Los Angeles, who don’t know the specifics of what this job is, what their environment is, what their level of education is. Talk to some people who are doing what you’re doing. If you’re in a film program right now, talk to the other people who are doing these jobs right now, and figure out what’s going on there. Find some other people who are working basically at your level, but for different places, and just get a baseline check there, because that will be a much more useful metric than what we think.

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** Craig disagrees a little bit.

**Craig:** I do. I’m very confused by this question, CJ. I think you’re over-thinking it. I think your ambition is perhaps outstripping where you are. Do your job. Do it well. If you can get a better job, get it. If you can’t, keep doing this one well. What else can you do? If you do it really, really well, you’ll get promoted, or somebody else will snap you up. That’s the way it worse.

**John:** No one else is going to snap you up unless they know who you are and what you’re working on. Maybe that’s wise. You need to talk to some people outside of your firm. That’s my guess, because there’s only four people in this office. That’s very, very small.

Maybe I have flashbacks. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this on the show. During college, I worked for this tiny company that was trying to develop nursing staffing software. There were four of us in the office. The guy who ran the company, he was nice, but it really was a bad, toxic environment. I did need to leave. I think I’m just feeling for CJ in this situation, where it’s like, “It’s kind of cool that I’m getting paid, and I guess I’m learning some things, but I also don’t think this is good. I’m feeling a little trapped here.” I want to validate that feeling that is causing CJ to actually write in to us about this, and not negate that feeling.

**Craig:** I can understand that. If the office situation is bad, and you feel bad working there every day, yeah, quit. He says, “I’m constantly told by my boss that I do not possess the skills to go anywhere else.” Why would your boss say that to you if you weren’t also then saying, “I think I should go somewhere else.” What do you expect your boss to say? “Yep, go.” If your boss says, “Do it. Go,” that means you’re not doing a very good job. That’s bad. That’s a bad sign.

If your boss is like, “You can’t get those jobs,” then there’s only two answers. Either he’s right, or he’s wrong, and go get one of those jobs. There’s nothing stopping you from trying to get another job. If you think that you can get one, get one. If you can’t, stay, or-

**John:** Stay.

**Craig:** … quit, because you don’t like it there anyway, and do something else. That’s my feeling. Anyway, CJ, I don’t mean to be hard on you. I love Australia, and I love Australians.

**John:** Before we get to our One Cool Things, I actually have something to ask listeners, because somebody who’s listening to this podcast may actually have the right solution to this or be the person who can provide a solution to this.

In addition to the podcast, we have the Scriptnotes book in progress. Drew and Halley and Chris have been really busy on that. I also have a separate company that makes Highland and Weekend Read, Writer Emergency Pack. We have various Facebook and Instagram accounts for these different things. They’re all cobbled together and in a big clump that’s 10 years old. They’re absolute disasters. I feel like I probably need to nuke them all and start over and build up new accounts that are specific to individual projects that keep stuff separate, keep stuff clean.

We need someone to come in and do that rebuilding, not just the social media happy little post things, but also the back-end stuff, like the advertising stuff. This is not a long-term gig. This is a few weeks, a contract job. If you are that person, you’ve actually done this job, or you know the person who I should be talking to, or even the title of the kind of person I should be hiring, just email Drew, ask@johnaugust.com, because I feel like somebody listening to this podcast knows, like, “Oh, I used to do this exact job for XYZ, and I know what it is you’d need.” Right now, all the accounts are just a complete clusterfuck, and it needs to get fixed. Somebody out there, if you can help, help.

**Craig:** I’ll do it.

**John:** He’ll do it. He’ll do it.

**Craig:** I’ll do it. I’m not on Facebook, but I’ll do it.

**John:** I’m not on Facebook either. That’s actually one of my frustrations is that in order to do any of the administration of the stuff that we have right now, I’d have to keep my frigging Facebook account so I can log in, because it’ll only let you do it if you can log in and prove you’re in the US on your Facebook app. It’s so frustrating.

**Craig:** What happens if you don’t have it, just out of curiosity? Is it really bad?

**John:** If you don’t have it… Here’s what is actually useful. It’s nice to be able to post things on Instagram. Instagram is great. Instagram ads have been really helpful for Writer Emergency Packs. When we go into Christmas sale time, we do put ads there, and they are useful and helpful. Because we do it so infrequently, everything gets messed up every time. It’s because these accounts are so Jurassic and built under three different systems. We just need someone to come in and Marie Condo all the stuff and set it up right.

**Craig:** I’ll do it.

**John:** He’ll do it.

**Craig:** I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I know you’re asking me to do it. I’ll do it.

**John:** Really, Craig, I’m begging you to do this.

**Craig:** I said I would. I’m not doing it.

**John:** Craig, I bet you have a One Cool Thing.

**Craig:** I do. I do.

**John:** What is it?

**Craig:** Been waiting on this one. I just wanted to finish it first. Every now and again, somebody will say, “You gotta go check out this Kickstarter. There’s somebody that’s doing something with puzzles.” I always do it. I do it every time. I buy puzzle boxes to make nine years to make and then eventually show up one day. There was one I did that I was excited about, because I figured I’ll actually get this one in a reasonable amount of time, and I did. It’s from a puzzle creator named Spencer Beebe. I believe that’s how you pronounce his name. It’s B-E-E-B-E. That feels like Beebe [beeb].

**John:** Beeb or BEE-bee.

**Craig:** BEE-bee would be… What a weird way. How about Spencer beh-BEH? He has created a puzzle game called Lost in the Shuffle. It is a deck of cards, four suits, couple of jokers. Each card has a puzzle. Some cards combine with other cards to make other puzzles. There are 52 puzzles all in all. This is a fun interactive site where you’re entering your answers. If you can solve all 52, you unlock Puzzle 53, which was a very satisfying finish.

**John:** Oh, nice.

**Craig:** It was really well done. The puzzles are good. They range in difficulty. This is not something that I think you would buy for a casual person that likes the occasional crossword. You have to be into this stuff. If you are into puzzles, Lost in the Shuffle is available for purchase. It is 24.99. It will keep you entertained for quite some time. There’s a lot of puzzles. It’s very cute. It’s very cute. It’s very smart. It’s very well done. For all those amount of puzzles, I have to say, I only say no like three times, because you do a lot of puzzles like I do, you get cranky about the ones that aren’t quite right. There were very few of those. It was really well done.

**John:** That’s great. I like it. I have two One Cool Things. They’re both Japanese related. First is a restaurant, Craig, that is close to you and your new house. You should absolutely go there if you’ve not been there, which is Tonchin. Have you been to Tonchin?

**Craig:** That’s a great question. Have I been to Tonchin?

**John:** Larchmont at Melrose. Basically, if you go all the way up Larchmont until it dead-ends at Melrose-

**Craig:** Oh, it’s ramen.

**John:** … it’s right there. It’s ramen.

**Craig:** I think I have had this, yes. I have.

**John:** It’s really, really good. It’s a high-end ramen restaurant, but they also have other Japanese things. Just delicious. High on my list of recommendations if you’re in the Larchmont area.

Second thing was a video about the production of rebar in a Japanese factory. You see in the Workflowy there I put a still image of this big kettle being loaded in. It feels like it’s from a video game. It feels like a sci-fi video game. I’m going to link to a YouTube video of the process of making rebar. It’s all great and so fascinating. It’s all in Japanese, but there’s really no talking. You’re just seeing here are old machines just being ripped apart by these teeth to just get the steel out of them. Then eventually it becomes, after a 20-minute process, becomes rebar. It’s just really cool. I just love process videos.

**Craig:** I love it.

**John:** This is a really well done one.

**Craig:** Sometimes you get on a little jag where you just start watching these. I like things that I would normally never, ever, ever think about, like rebar, or I watched one on batteries, just how are batteries made. It’s really cool. Or how are hot dogs made. Terrifying, but also cool. It’s fun. Man, the automation of these things is just so smart.

**John:** Yeah, so smart. It’s like, oh my god, you had to built this giant, giant thing to do this one process. Did you know it was going to work? It’s just so [crosstalk 00:54:11].

**Craig:** That whole field of just process engineering and creating these, it’s like real life Rube Goldberg devices. They work. They work at high speed. It’s cool.

**John:** What hadn’t occurred to me as I started watching the video was, oh, that’s right, rebar is going to be magnetic the whole time through. You can use electromagnets to pull big stacks of things off and around. It’s very useful that it is magnetic. It was cool to see how often magnets are used to do stuff in the process of it.

**Craig:** Magnets. How do they work?

**John:** How do they work? Ending with a question. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt. It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** [Indiscernible 00:54:47].

**John:** Our intern is Halley Lamberson.

**Craig:** Fine.

**John:** Outro this week is by Nico Mansy. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weeklyish newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts, and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau, including the new Scriptnotes 600 episode, which looks like the CBS Special Presentation.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments. Remember to use the discount code summer, to save money on your annual subscription. Craig, thank you for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Craig, this topic came from a recent issue of Inneresting. Chris Csont, our editor, had found this article by Julian Sanchez about CEOs in Comics: Villains Earn, Heroes Inherit. It’s putting forth the case that if you think about many of these superheroes in our stories who are incredibly rich, they are being portrayed as CEOs of large companies that they basically inherited from their families. You got Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark, Ted Kord, Oliver Queen. They’re rich. They’re CEOs, and they inherited it all.

Meanwhile, the supervillains are generally self-made men, so Lex Luthor, Kingpin, Veidt, Ozymandias, or Norman Osborn in Green Goblin. They are people who rose from nothing and built something out of their own intellectual power. That seems weird. It seems like it should be the other way around, and yet that’s the pattern.

**Craig:** Here’s something interesting to consider. I don’t know if this is relevant or not, but it comes to mind. Many of the people that were creating these characters and writing these stories were Jewish. One thing I know about Jewish people, because I am one, is that for those of us… Maybe it’s not so true anymore, but for those of us who were growing up earlier, and certainly for Jews who were growing up and watching the world convulsing and murdering them, there is quite a serious amount of internalized antisemitism.

It’s one of the reasons, for instance, Hollywood, which was started in so many ways by Jewish immigrants, featured almost all very handsome-looking not-Jewish people. Comedians could be Jewish. That was funny, so Charlie Chaplin or the Marx brothers or the Three Stooges. When you looked at the heroes, they were very classically Aryan. Even when the Nazis were doing what they were doing in celebration of eugenics, weirdly, a lot of Jewish writers or Jewish directors were casting people that looked blond and blue-eyed or just very Irish.

You have this thing that has a weird internalized admiration for nobility and let’s call it blue blood. The people that were writing about Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark or Ted Kord or Oliver Queen, these are people that probably couldn’t get into country clubs or Stanford, but they’re writing about people who can and do, people to the manner born, whereas the villains are people who perhaps violate the natural order of things through ambition and will and intelligence. That is fascinating to me. I wonder if that’s part of it.

**John:** I think that is part of it. These strivers are ambitious, and they are trying to upset the natural order of things. They’re rising up. It’s like ambition is a bad thing when it comes to comic books, because it goes to these to the manner born, these rich characters, they have a sense of duty and obligation. Because of their status, they have this obligation, which really ties into this sense of nobility. You look at Princess Diane in Wonder Woman or T’Challa, Black Panther, they have a sense of duty from their position. They are incredibly powerful because of their position. They feel this sense of duty and obligation to their people.

**Craig:** Whether it’s T’Challa or it’s Bruce Wayne, they have noblesse oblige. Because they have an endless source of money, and always had an endless source of money, their job is to protect the weak and the innocent and the defenseless, not give them money, by the way. No, no, no. They still maintain their billions of dollars. Their job merely is to save them from thugs, whereas the people who make their way up in the world, like Lex Luthor or Norman Osborn, they want power.

They’re always portrayed as almost pointlessly aspiring to power, when in fact, the only human I’ve ever met who pointlessly aspired to power was Ted Cruz. That is a weird condemnation of ambition itself, as if to say creation and innovation is not a reward in and of itself. There’s no value there to it. The only reason you would want to grow an empire would be to take over the world. What you ought to do is just let the world be run by who has always run it, nobles showering their largesse at will upon their lessers.

**John:** Right now, I can hear a bunch of listeners-

**Craig:** Screaming.

**John:** “What about this character? What about this character?” I’m sure there are counter-examples to all these things. We’re talking about the very broad strokes here. Craig, I want to circle back to your Jewish writers and internalized antisemitism and to what degree this can be a factor here. Are you making the case that these Jewish writers might see that striving to get to a higher social class, they hated themselves doing?

**Craig:** It’s not quite that overt. It’s really more that the values of the society you grow up in admire and laud a certain kind of person. There’s this gentility of the person who grows up with money. They’re not striving. They’re not grabbing. They’re not trying. They’re not sweating. Because their source of money is endless, endless, there’s no end to their theoretical generosity either.

Listen. Jewish people grow up in an America where most people are Christian. Most Christians believe that Jesus looked exactly like some sort of very pretty Englishman, when in fact, he was a Jew that looked like us. That’s the weird thing. That’s the culture we absorb. When we look at villains in movies, particularly villains in the early movies, we’re seeing Nosferatu. Did you ever see March of the Wooden Soldiers?

**John:** Never saw it.

**Craig:** It was a Laurel and Hardy movie where they live in this fairytale land. There’s a bad guy. He’s a landowner, John. He’s telling Mother Hubbard that he’s going to foreclose on her and kick all of her kids out of the shoe that she lives in, because he owns the deed on it, and she hasn’t paid her rent, unless she lets him marry her oldest daughter, who is just right out of the Nazi playbook of just blonde-haired, blue-eyed pretty lady.

I don’t have to tell you what this guy looks like. Imagine what you think he looks like. You got it. It’s not like they hired an actor who actually looked like that already. It’s the same thing they did in the Wizard of Oz or any of these things. They make the nose even bigger and more hooked, and it’s more stooped, and the pointed chin and the rubbing of the hands and greed, greed, greed.

These are the things that we grew up with, and so it’s just natural that you imagine, these are the heroes, that’s what heroes are. I’m sure you can identify with this from your own angle. You just grow up in a certain… It’s the air you breathe around you, and it gets into your marrow.

**John:** The image you were describing of that character reminds me of the prospector discussion. I had a complete mental image in my head, never having seen the thing you’re specifically describing. I know exactly that type. I know exactly what that… It’s Shylock in different incarnations. It’s terrible racist trope, and yet I completely picture it.

**Craig:** His name is Silas Barnaby. He was played by an actor named Henry Kleinbach. Jewish. Henry Kleinbach, as a 22-year-old, is being made up to look like an old man. If you Google Silas Barnaby, that was the villain’s name, Silas Barnaby, Google it and take a look at that. I watched that as a kid. That’s what I had. If you look at what Little Bo-Peep-

**John:** Oh god, yeah. I’m Googling this now. It’s like a Scrooge.

**Craig:** Scrooge.

**John:** A cross between Scrooge and a leprechaun.

**Craig:** Exactly. If you look at Little Bo-Peep, who’s played by this actress named Charlotte Henry, you’ll see what I mean there.

**John:** Oh god, yeah.

**Craig:** You can’t get more Aryan than that. It’s just hysterical. That movie, interestingly, came out in 1934, which is maybe a half a year after Hitler takes power in Germany. One of the main themes of the Nazi Party leading up to 1933, but certainly continuing through into the war, is that Jews were there to spoil Aryan women. Here we are making a comedy over here in 1934 that is literally that. Listen. We’ve found an interesting thing, what this conversation has become. I wonder if that’s part of it. It may not be. It may not be.

**John:** You look at the origin of these characters. You look at the origin of Batman, for example. That is a product of that time, for sure.

**Craig:** Oh, yes yes yes. Look at the way heroes look. Do a study of the faces of comic book heroes, and find me a face that you think doesn’t adhere to a very rigid standard of what beautiful is. You will be hard fought to find one.

**John:** It’s true. Thanks for the discussion.

**Craig:** Thanks, John.

Links:

* [DUMB MONEY Trailer](https://youtu.be/bmr8YmwnZ3w)
* [Lost in the Shuffle: A Double-Dealing Puzzle Game](https://www.spencerispuzzling.com/product-page/lost-in-the-shuffle-a-double-dealing-puzzle-game) by Spencer Beebe
* [Mass production of rebar in a Japanese factory](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lqmxvc2YgjM)
* [CEOs in Comics: Villains Earn, Heroes Inherit](http://www.juliansanchez.com/2011/09/21/ceos-in-comics-villains-earn-heroes-inherit/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email) by Julian Sanchez
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [Craig Mazin](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/) on Instagram
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Nico Mansy ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli). Our intern is Halley Lamberson.

Scriptnotes, Episode 603: Billion Dollar Advice, Transcript

July 26, 2023 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2023/billion-dollar-advice).

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Heads up that today’s episode has just a little bit of swearing in it. Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 603 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Craig, you and I both know that it’s never been easy to be extraordinarily wealthy in America. You monopolize the railroads, you’re called a robber baron. You perform a few hostile takeovers on public companies, bankrupt them after laying off thousands of workers, and somehow you’re the bad guy.

**Craig:** Yeah, I know. Isn’t that a shame?

**John:** It is. Today’s billionaires I think maybe have it even worse, because they get dragged on Twitter for buying Twitter and ruining Twitter. Orcas have finally learned how to capsize their yachts. Today, I thought maybe we could offer some guidance for the billionaires and other folks who are looking for a safe and tranquil place to put their money, which is the film and television industry. This episode is for the dreamers, the builders, the doers, the absurdly rich. It’s also a history lesson in the way things used to work and could maybe work again, with independent studios making things for distributors. To help us look into all of this, we have a very, very special guest, Craig, Akela Cooper.

**Craig:** Fantastic. Hi, Akela.

**Akela Cooper:** Hello. Hi!

**Craig:** Hey!

**John:** Hey! Akela Cooper, you are a writer for film and TV. Credits include Malignant, Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Luke Cage, and the breakout hit M3GAN.

**Craig:** That’s pronounced me and three-gan.

**Akela:** M-three-gan.

**John:** Me and three-gan.

**Akela:** M-three-gan.

**Craig:** M-three-gan. That is M-three-gan.

**John:** M-three-gan.

**Craig:** If I know one thing in this world, it’s that that movie would have done even better had it been pronounced M-three-gan. I think in some countries it may have been pronounced M-three-gan. Go on.

**Akela:** I was going to say, that’s one of those writer things, where it’s just like, no, you guys, it’s really Megan. At a certain point, I’m like, oh no, I have lost the narrative on this. It is M-three-gan.

**Craig:** It’s M-three-gan. It’s M-three-gan. There’s going to be M-four-gan. It’ll be M-three-ga-four-n. M-three-ga-four-n is what’s going to happen.

**John:** M-three-ga-four-n.

**Craig:** M-three-ga-four-n.

**John:** Akela Cooper, you are also a WGA captain, who I first met on the picket line in front of CBS. I was so excited to meet you. I think I gasped audibly, because I loved your movie. Your name I’d seen for a long time. I got to see you in person and shake your hand. Akela Cooper, welcome-

**Akela:** Thank you.

**John:** … to Scriptnotes.

**Akela:** I love that the picket line is just bringing people together. Even at the rally today, everyone was like, oh my god, I turned left, and I seen someone I haven’t seen in 10 years. I turned right and I seen someone I haven’t seen in five years. It’s like a writers reunion.

**Craig:** That’s what you think good news is. For me, I see somebody I haven’t seen in 10 years, I’m like, “Oh, no. I gotta go hide behind a very slender tree. I’m going to turn sideways and pray.”

**John:** Akela, we barely know each other. I mostly know you through your work. I was looking through IMDb, and I thought we might actually start with getting an origin story. I might guess your origin story just based on this really expensive credits list I see here of the things you’ve worked on. It feels like you worked your way up in a way that a bunch of our listeners are really aspiring to, because I look back over your 10-year arc. You’re starting off on, first credit I see a credit for is Tron: Uprising. Presumably, you were a staff writer. Was that really your first job?

**Akela:** That wasn’t my first first job. It was my first credit, which was animated. Shout-out to Christopher Mack at the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop, may that rest in peace. Oh, wait, no, I had gotten staffed on V, the reboot of the ‘80s miniseries on ABC that went a season, and then actually, in between seasons I needed work. Chris Mack was like, “Hey, I know Disney is doing a Tron animated series. You want me to put you up for it?” “Yes.” I ended up getting a freelance actually.

That’s where I first met our lot coordinator, Bill Wolkoff, who was my boss on that. It was just the three of us in a room. There was another executive story editor who was on there. We broke this episode, and then I went off and I wrote it. Then years later, it aired. My staff writing job was on V. Unfortunately, I never got a credited episode on that, just because a whole lot of fuckery happened on that show.

**Craig:** I love that song. That’s my favorite Led Zeppelin song.

**John:** Akela, you bring up a really good point, because I misassumed that Tron: Uprising was your first job because a staff writer isn’t guaranteed a credit in IMDb or anywhere else for being a staff writer on a show. It’s only if you actually get an episode that you get a credit on that you’re necessarily going to show up there. You had a whole extra year or work before you show up in a public record for this.

From that point forward, I look through your credits here, you’re climbing that ladder. There’s a ladder. You’re climbing up it, because you go on to Grimm, Witches of East End, The 100, American Horror Story, Luke Cage, Avengers Assemble. Each of these steps, you are… I see you getting a story editor credit, which is the next rung up from staff writer. I see you getting a co-producer. I see you just rising up the ranks, supervising producer to co-AP. That’s sort of the dream process, right?

**Akela:** Yes.

**John:** You kept working up show after show. They’re all in a genre. They’re all very specific sci-fi, fantasy spaces. Was this by plan? Talk to us about how you’re moving from show to show.

**Akela:** It was by plan in that I wanted to hit that next level. As an elder millennial, I feel like I’m… Sadly, we all know this is what we’re fighting for now. I’m part of a last generation that was able to work my way up the ladder and learn each step of making a TV show as I went along. I certainly hope we win on those fronts, because I think we’re doing the next generation of writers a disservice by cutting them out of the process, as streaming has.

I was part of the CBS Writers’ Workshop and the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop, and that’s what they told us. It’s assistant, and then hopefully you make it to the table and you become a staff writer.

Then traditionally in network you would have to do 22 episodes before the studio would bump you. On V, I had done 13. When I went to the next show, which I believe was Grimm, NBC was the one that was like, “You didn’t do 22, so we’re going to make you be staff writer all over again.” I had to do staff writer again. Then I did 22 episodes of Grimm. Then I got the story editor bump.

Just from there, I kept hitting those 22 episodes on the network side, and so that helped when I transitioned to streaming, like on Luke Cage, where at this point now I think it’s co-producer. I have the experience. You gotta give me that title.

As it was explained to me, you get the episodes, and then either the series is renewed and then you get a bump automatically in your contract, or if you go on to another show, it’s like, I’ve got all this experience behind me, you give me my bump.

There were some bumps along the way, because I do remember specifically for The 100, it was a difference of do you want the title or do you want the pay. I’m like, “You’re going to give me that fucking title, because I’ve earned it.” I actually ended up taking less pay just so I could get the title, because I knew I was going to need that title going forward, especially as a Black female writer in this business. I took the title over the money. Again, going from The 100 to Luke Cage, it helped.

**Craig:** That’s a good lesson right there in delayed gratification. Any time somebody offers you money or blank, take the or blank. There’s a reason they’re offering you money. It’s a trap. Just think it’s a trap every time, because you’re right, if you can hang on… I almost think they’re counting on people being desperate and taking the money instead, because yeah, once you get the higher title, yeah, you’re going to get more money starting next time, and then building off of that, more and more and more. Well chosen. Good on you.

**John:** The other choice I see that’s really smart here is you were not only doing television. You were also writing features this whole time through. Were you consciously working in long-form scripted, and were you always trying to make features in addition to this stuff, or were they opportunities that came up along the way? Because even before Malignant, you have Hell Fest, you have other stuff you were working on. What was your split there? You were doing TV, but you were also trying to do features?

**Akela:** I focused on TV. I ended up going to USC in the grad program, which at the time was feature-focused. Then I fell into TV. I loved TV, but I had no idea how it worked. Then I found out at USC. It’s like, this is how it works. I’m like, this is amazing. While I was focused on working my way up, I wasn’t really writing features. I was writing spec episodes. I was writing pilots. At a certain point I was also writing short stories, just to have something else in my quiver when they needed to send out samples.

It wasn’t until I got on Luke Cage that it’s like, okay, I think Luke Cage, I made co-producer of Season 1. It’s like, woo, I’ve made mid-level, which is huge. It’s a huge thing to get your foot in the door as staff writer. Then getting that bump is also huge. Then when you make it to mid-level, that’s when I was like, yeah, break out the Prosecco. At that point, I felt comfortable in that I had a body of produced work, so I didn’t have to write as many specs anymore. At that point, I was like, I’m not writing specs anymore. You can see that I’ve had episodes produced.

**John:** You weren’t writing spec television episodes, but then you could actually focus back on doing features, because everyone can always read a feature and say, oh, look at how good her writing is.

**Akela:** Yeah. It had been an itch that had been growing. It’s like, now that I have this time, and now that I am at this level in my TV career, let me go back and take some time to write features. While I was on Luke Cage, I had had two horror movie ideas that had been knocking around in my brain. I’m like, let me get these down on paper. I had a system where if the Luke Cage writers’ room started at 10 a.m., I would show up at 9 and then work for an hour before the room started, just on the outline and then eventually the script. I wrote two spec scripts that way while also working on Luke Cage. I would work at home after work as well, and sometimes on the weekends.

I went to my TV agent, ICM at the time. May that rest in peace. It got absorbed by CAA. I went to my TV agent and was like, “Hey, I’ve written some features, and I’d like to write movies also.” He introduced me to a wonderful agent on the feature side. Then he sent out those spec features. That led to a meeting at Atomic Monster. That worked out very well for me.

**John:** That’s awesome.

**Craig:** I love the fact that you were there… Anytime anyone, but particularly generations younger than John’s generation and my generation, anytime anybody is showing up early, working early, working on weekends, betting on themselves, I sing. I sing. It’s just wonderful. It’s wonderful to see, because it does pay off. It does, honestly. It’s just very exciting to hear somebody betting on themselves like that and then the way it pays off. Well done.

**Akela:** I actually knew the editor of Get Out. We’d met somewhere. I forget now. He had reached out, and it’s like, “Oh, she’s writing features now? I’m being brought on to direct this movie. Would she mind coming on board and doing a rewrite?” That’s how I got on Hell Fest.

**John:** I once had your work ethic, where I actually could get up early and do a thing. I don’t have it anymore. How did you keep energy in the tank to do this writing before your actual writing job? That to me is so tough.

**Craig:** She’s young, John. She hasn’t died inside like we have. Look at her. She’s vital.

**Akela:** Why thank you.

**John:** You’re not a teenager. You still have that young 20s energy, even a ways into your career.

**Akela:** I think I was mid-30s 2015. I am not good at math, but I think I was, because I’m 41 now. Elder millennial, as they say, or whatever the fuck they’ve designated us. They can never seem to land on anything.

**Craig:** Maybe we’ll take you. Maybe Gen X will just pick you up. You’re worth picking up.

**Akela:** At one point, I was part. It was the tail-end of Gen X. Then it’s like, no, we’re going to call you the Pepsi Generation. Then that didn’t stick. Then they forgot about us. Then millennial and Gen Z became a thing. It’s like, hey, what do we call the people between ’78 and ’83? Who the fuck knows?

**Craig:** That’s a pretty specific range there.

**Akela:** That also shifts. There are so many people who will be like, “No, it’s ’79 to ’84.” Wherever it is, I’m smack in the middle at ’81.

**Craig:** Wait a second. I have a question for you, Akela. Do you have children?

**Akela:** No.

**Craig:** There it is. There it is. There it is.

**John:** There it is.

**Craig:** That’s why she’s not dead inside.

**Akela:** As you can see behind me, Craig, I have a cat. I actually have two cats.

**Craig:** I was just guessing, based on the cat and the coolness behind you and the lack of just crap everywhere that belongs to children that put it there, even though this is mommy’s office and you told them not to go in there and they did anyway. John and I, as parents we are the worst about promoting parenthood, because all we ever do is talk about how kids are why we’re so tired. They just haul you out.

**Akela:** That is also where I get time.

**Craig:** Man, you just made one great decision after another, as far as I’m concerned.

**John:** I do look at what I see in your background of the Zoom here. Everything there is breakable by a child. That Predator statue-

**Craig:** Oh, gone.

**John:** Gone.

**Craig:** Gone.

**John:** Gone.

**Akela:** That’s Pumpkinhead.

**John:** Oh, it’s Pumpkinhead. Thank you. I couldn’t see it clearly.

**Craig:** It does look like Predator from here.

**Akela:** I have one of those too, but he is in storage right now. In the before times, when we had in-person offices in writers’ rooms, I have a box of all of my collectibles that are specifically for my office. My Predator is one of them.

**John:** I love it.

**Craig:** You’re a nerd?

**Akela:** Yes.

**Craig:** Love it.

**Akela:** Born and raised.

**Craig:** John and I are playing Dungeons and Dragons tonight, so you’re with your people.

**Akela:** I have played Dungeons and Dragons exactly once. I did have fun. It’s just like, hey, we’re going to do this campaign, and it’s going to be Sunday evening for four hours. It’s like, I wish I could, but no.

**Craig:** You just need to commit to that.

**Akela:** I’ve got a couple of people being like, “We’re going to do a one-shot at some point.”

**Craig:** Do one-shots. Exactly, do one-shots.

**John:** One-shots are perfect. That’ll be great. I want to talk to you about M3GAN, because I saw M3GAN in the theater with an audience who loved it to death. It’s just a fantastic movie and a fantastic ride. My question for you is, from its initial incarnation, did you know that tone was going to be there, that tone where it’s aware of its own absurdity and embracing it and also it’s going to have the jolts that you’re hoping for in a horror movie. When did the tone of it become clear?

**Akela:** The tone of it was Gerard. I wrote a straight horror movie.

**Craig:** Gerard Johnstone, the director?

**Akela:** Yes. The jolts and the scares, yes, those were intended. I’m happy a lot of them landed. The hilarious tone, that is Gerard’s New Zealand sense of humor. I was really, really happy when he was brought on, because it was a case of, I had seen Housebound when it was released on DVD, and I loved it. When the guys at Atomic Monster were like, “Hey, we found a director. It’s Gerard Johnstone,” I was like, “I know that guy. I saw his movie, and I liked it. Cool.” It’s one of those things where I didn’t have to go on IMDb and be like, who the fuck did they hire? He brought that sensibility. I was like, oh, wow, I love it. I love how we played together in that area, because he took what I wrote and then enhanced it in that way. It was so fun to see.

**John:** It’s always great when a writer has a happy director story, Craig.

**Craig:** It doesn’t happen frequently. Then again, so few films get made now, that one would hope that they’re all somehow happy. Can you talk us through the dance? It’s hard to write dancing. The M3GAN dance is astonishing. I feel like we’re buried in culture right now. There’s so much of it. It’s all noise, no signal. Then every now and then, something just pokes through in such a way that everyone goes, “Everybody, shut up and look at this!” In the trailer for M3GAN, when she starts dancing, there was just something about it. I’m curious how that kind of thing gets built in, even from the page, or whether it was on the page or now, and how that storytelling happens.

**Akela:** It was not. I love it. I love that it’s in there. It’s one of those things that writers are going to have to learn. You guys have dealt with production. On the feature side, when I was writing it, after I turned in the first draft, and I got notes from Atomic Monster and Blumhouse, the mandate was, “We cannot have M3GAN moving that much.” They didn’t know how they were going to build the doll and whether or not it was going to be practical or if it was going to be CG or what. It was like, no matter what, if I’m writing her moving, people are going to see dollar signs. I had to go back into the script and cut out “she runs” or she does this and she does that. It’s a lot of head movements. M3GAN will glance this way, and M3GAN will do that. I knew I could get away with that and-

**Craig:** Eyes.

**Akela:** Yeah, and her talking. As far as arms and limbs and doing all this, even the bully sequence, I wrote it like how Steven Spielberg had to visualize Jaws after Bruce the shark, which I took that name and gave it to Gemma’s first robot in honor of that. I wrote it that you would see her in quick flashes from the bully’s perspective. She would be behind a tree and then this and that.

When we cast an actress to actually physically be there, that just opened up a whole other world. I think it was a situation where, when they were doing location scouting, they really liked that office building, but then you get to that moment, and there’s this long hallway between M3GAN and David, and the question during production was like, how is she going to close that gap? It was like, what if she throws them off some way, somehow? It was like, okay, how is she going to do that? I believe Gerard said the idea of her dancing came to him at 3 a.m. in a dream.

**John:** Great.

**Craig:** Sometimes that works that way. Man, I wish we could show everyone that enjoys movies and television how often some of the things we love come out of the most mundane problem solving, not even problem solving of the romanticized version of how do we make this character interesting? It’s more like, we got to get the doll from here to there really quickly, in a way that makes logical sense, so that the guy down there doesn’t just go, “Bye.” What are we going to do? Then out of these things sometimes comes this fascinating magic.

**Akela:** I remember when I got to see a rough cut. It was a rough cut. They didn’t even have the ending on there. I was like, “What the hell?” Then I just started laughing with everybody else. I was like, “This is odd, but I think it works. Am I crazy? I think it works?”

**Craig:** Whoever the choreographer was, hats off, because I would watch it, and I don’t think my body could do that. There was something about the [indiscernible 00:20:25] that was just so bizarre. It’s interesting that you say that so much of the tone comes from the director. The movie to me only works insofar as I take it seriously. The fun parts are fun, and the campy parts are campy, but if there isn’t something real holding it all together, then it’s just not there. It’s just there’s nothing there. It’s a very ’80s movie in that regard. There were a lot of movies in the ’80s that were horror movies but funny, but horror movies. It was nice. It was such a great throwback to that era.

**Akela:** It was the same thing with Malignant. Obviously, when you’re writing, you’re going to put fun moments in there, because you don’t want it to be super dour. I had jokey moments and stuff like that, but the tone of M3GAN, yeah, that was Gerard looking, because he even hired his friend, who is an actor, is the cop who’s talking to Gemma and is like, “Yeah, that boy’s ear was ripped off and tossed far.” Then he starts laughing. It’s like, “I shouldn’t have done that.” That was an improv on the day. That was Gerard being like, “That was awesome. Let’s keep that.”

As far as Malignant goes, I didn’t sit down at the keyboard like I’m going to write a Giallo horror movie. It was just like, I’m just going to write a straight horror movie. Which characters can I use for humor? The cops. The cops. They wanted more humor, because I think in my original draft, her sister was a psychologist. Again, serious and straight. Then she became an actress towards production. It’s just for more of that humor that James wanted in that, because he very specifically I think wanted to make a Giallo horror film. I did not know that when I was writing it though.

**Craig:** It worked.

**John:** It worked. Congratulations on these films exist. Let’s segue to talking about how we can make movies and TV in a better and different way. Way back, Craig, in 2013, you and I did what was called A Young Billionaire’s Guide to Hollywood. Craig, you said, “This is not a good way to spend a billion dollars if your goal is to have $10 billion.”

**Craig:** I stand by that statement. That is correct.

**John:** A hundred percent. I would say that neither is building a rocket ship or investing in an F1 racing team. You do it because you want to do it. I think if you are a person with a ton of money who wants to throw a ton of money at something, throwing it at Hollywood is not the worst idea.

**Craig:** You’re right, although it does seem lately that large corporations have been investing in Hollywood to try and make 10 times their return, which has been part of the problem.

**John:** It has been a large part of the problem.

**Craig:** Because you’re absolutely right, it used to be, and this will tie into my One Cool Thing when we get to the end of the show, that very wealthy people would buy sports teams because they were very wealthy and they loved sports. If you could break even or make a little bit of money, fantastic, because the point is, I own a sports team. Mark Cuban’s like, “I’m going to buy Mavericks. I don’t care. I love basketball, and that’s how it’s going to go.” What you wouldn’t get so much is the AT&T buys the Yankees because they believe they can leverage it to synergies and blah blah blah. It does seem like some of the money that’s been moving around in our business hasn’t gotten the message that maybe this isn’t just about pure profit.

**John:** You’re talking about corporations, giant corporations swallowing each other to do a thing. I’m talking about, and this is actually something that really comes out of the genre area, is that once upon a time, we used to have independent studios who were making things. We still have some of those in the film side. We have Legendary, which I guess is now not as independent. We have A24, which has done really well for itself, Annapurna. We have Alcon.

**Craig:** There was Annapurna.

**John:** There was Annapurna. Annapurna was a thing. We have Alcon. We have Bold. We have these companies. A lot of times, those film companies are making their mark by producing less expensive genre pictures that do really, really well. In the case of M3GAN, it was a universal release. It could’ve been at A24. A lot of other places could’ve made that movie. It was not an expensive movie to make.

**Craig:** Blumhouse.

**John:** There’s Blumhouse.

**Akela:** Blumhouse, yeah.

**Craig:** That’s what Blumhouse is.

**John:** I think there’s a model for that. Also, I want to reach back to, once upon a time there used to be TV that was done that same way too. We used to have Carsey-Werner. We used to have Stephen Cannell. They weren’t bankrolled by the studios. They brought in their own money. They were able to make things and sell them off to companies.

**Craig:** Sort of, because those, you could make so much money back then. There are few people still making that kind of money now, like the Shonda type money. She makes her company. The studios that made television, Paramount and so on and so forth, would back your show. It would become this massive hit. Stephen Cannell had so many of those, or Aaron Spelling. Then those people would end up with a billion dollars and be like, “I don’t need Paramount now. I’m just going to do it myself.” They had been funded by the studios paying them a lot.

**John:** Things started in a place. Here’s where I think there may be an opportunity now. Just today, as we’re recording this, news came out that Warner’s is negotiating to sell some of the HBO content to Netflix. It tells you that this model of, we’re only going to make things for ourselves and we’re going to keep them inside our little walled garden, may be changing. People may be starting to make stuff for other people, which is really good news, I think, down the road. Akela?

**Akela:** Or it’s like we’ve come back around to what worked before, because back in that area, Fox eventually had Fox Network, but Fox Studio would still sell shows to CBS or ABC and vice versa. Then the goal was, hey, we’re going to get 100 episodes. Then it became 88. Then we’re going to sell it in a syndication, so that you can watch it when you’re at the gym on a fucking treadmill. Supernatural would run in perpetuity on TBS.

It was a system that worked. People made a living. You had your Stephen Cannells and Dick Wolfs. Also, as a middle-class writer, you could make a living, because guess what? You were getting residuals when they sold it into syndication.

**Craig:** You’re absolutely right. The headline, with the Captain Obvious Statement of the year, said, “According to sources, this,” meaning Warner Bros selling some HBO content to Netflix, “is a financial move.” What? Really?

**Akela:** I’m shocked. I’m shocked.

**Craig:** It’s not friendship is magic? This is fascinating to me. It’s really interesting that it’s happening with HBO, because HBO never was engaged in syndication. HBO was always walled off because it was funded entirely by subscriptions through paid television, and those subscriptions were beefed up through the arrangements with carriers, cable companies and satellite companies.

The ritual suicide that our business has engaged in over the last five years, to eliminate all those structures and make sure that everybody can lose as much money as Netflix does, has created a system where that doesn’t even happen anymore. It does make sense. Look, I don’t know if my shows are going to end up there. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as people watch what I do. I don’t see a problem with this. I guess the first thing they’re going to be throwing out there is Insecure. They’re going to put Insecure on Netflix. So many more people are going to watch Insecure on Netflix than ever watched it on HBO. I have no doubt about this. None.

**John:** It’s not just though that the streamers are saying, the stuff we made for our service will actually license to other places. If you’re Sony, this is really good news, because Sony is one of the few places that’s left that does not have its own streamer. If people are more willing to pick up a show that is owned outside of a service, that’s great news. The opportunities to take things that were made just for one place and actually get them monetized other places, it’s going to help everybody out.

**Craig:** Let’s remember that this was how it was even working five years ago, because Netflix was running Friends. Warner Bros had no problem licensing Friends to Netflix and making a gazillion dollars off of it. Then everybody was like, wait, why are we giving all of this stuff to Netflix and building Netflix up, when we could be doing this ourselves? Missing the fact that Netflix was paying them money for something that no longer cost them money to have. We spent all the money required to make Friends. It’s over. Our Friends costs for this year will be zero, and our income will be all of the money that Netflix sends us for Friends. This does make sense.

We will slowly but surely reinvent the wheel. They will call it something new. Eventually, they’re going to figure out how to take all these channels and conglomerate them into networks. We’ll get back to three networks. Nothing new under the sun.

**John:** Absolutely. There will be true streaming services like Netflix, like we’re used to, where there aren’t commercials. Then there’ll be the commercial version of Netflix. Then there will also be Crackle and Pluto and all the other services that are AVOD and selling ads. It’s okay. It’s okay for people to watch things where they watch them and where they end up. That’s fine.

Here’s my pitch though. I think this is an opportunity for the same people who are now trying to make the next deal with Shonda or Greg Berlanti or Ryan Murphy. If you’re a person with a ton of money, why don’t you go to Shonda and say, “Hey, rather than making that deal at that streamer, why don’t we just make a company? We’ll make all the stuff ourselves and license them out to these places.”

**Craig:** You already lost Ryan, because he went to-

**Akela:** He’s back at Disney.

**John:** He’s back at Disney apparently.

**Akela:** He’s back at Fox by way of Disney.

**Craig:** Disney-Fox.

**John:** Disney-Fox.

**Craig:** Fisney.

**John:** Akela, someone comes up to you with this offer. Do you do it? You have experience in film and TV. Would you?

**Akela:** Yes. If someone is going to be like, “Hey, I’m going to give you x billions of dollars.” Am I making my own network, or am I just making shows?

**John:** You’re Carsey-Werner.

**Craig:** Production company.

**John:** You’re making shows. You’re a production company. You’d do that?

**Akela:** Yes, in a heartbeat. We all have friends who have cool fucking ideas that do not get on air because of the bullshit way this industry works now. It’s so frustrating. It’s so frustrating. I’ve had this happen. I had this happen before the Strike, where it was like, streaming service not to be named was like, “Oh my god, we love your original idea.” I’m like, “Great, I’ve got heat on me. This is going to happen.” Then they took a week, and they came back, and it’s like, “We don’t know if it’s a sure thing, so can you go get a director and an actor attached to this?” It’s like, no.

**Craig:** Do the work of a production company, but you’re not going to be a production company. You’re not going to own anything, but do all the things that owners do. By the way, even if you don’t have any friends at all, which I’m working my way towards that-

**Akela:** Oh my gosh.

**Craig:** Even if you have one show that you make that is a big hit, if you own it, you are going to make vastly more money than if you don’t. The trick of it is, in the old days there was deficit financing of shows. Shows cost more than the license fees that they received from the networks to air them.

Paramount produces a show, and every episode costs, I don’t know, let’s just say a million dollars. It wasn’t that, but let’s just say a million. CBS says, “We’ll give you 500 grand for the rights to air that.” They’re losing a half a million dollars per episode until it hits that magic amount quantity, 100 back then, where you could sell them to syndication, and then boom, all profit all day long, and in perpetuity. If you’re a show like Seinfeld, it never ends. Deficit financing things is tricky for individuals to do, but yeah, in today’s day and age, where a lot of these shows are not producing 22 episodes…

**Akela:** If someone came to me, I would be like, obviously, I’m going to make my show, because now I don’t have to listen to nopes I don’t want to listen to. Again, my friends who have cool ideas that I would love to see as shows, that are different, that bring in different perspectives. It’s like, fuck it, let’s just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. That’s what everyone else is doing, even though they try to pretend that by going into the past and figuring out what worked before and just repeating that until that horse has been beyond beaten to death, I would be different in that it’s like, I’m going to take a risk, and I know it’s a risk. I’m not going to fire myself if it doesn’t work.

**Craig:** That’s absolutely true.

**John:** Akela, part of what you’re describing might also be, you might want to do a process where rather than shooting an entire season, you might want to actually shoot an episode and see if it works.

**Akela:** What?

**John:** You might actually want to test that. Maybe we could figure out how to do that too.

**Akela:** What would we even call-

**John:** The flyer.

**Akela:** … that thing?

**John:** What would we call the one episode that’s-

**Akela:** If you’re getting in a plane and you’re guiding it, it’s like piloting something?

**John:** Like a pilot? Oh, a pilot?

**Craig:** No, no, no, I hate that. Let’s call it something better. Let’s call it a winger, because you’re winging it. It’s a winger.

**John:** It’s a winger.

**Craig:** The winger wasn’t great, so we’re not picking it up. This is where late-stage capitalism goes. We’ll make everything a pilot. Everything’s now a pilot. The whole season’s a pilot.

Listen. I don’t want to over-romanticize. The old system made an enormous amount of crap. Television was just awful for a long time. It was really a lot of crap. A lot of corny crap. They would make all these pilots. The pilot system, by all accounts, was pretty demeaning. It was this horrible rat race where everyone’s chewing at each other to be the last show that’s picked up from the pilot stuff. The fact that a lot of people were employed doesn’t negate the fact that the people that were in charge of picking pilots and then putting those shows together were kind of crappy shows, were subject to horrible amounts of testing. Networks are still doing people turning dials up and down. “I don’t like her. Her jawbone’s too pointy.” She’s gone. Next. Boom. It wasn’t all sugar and rainbows.

**John:** Craig, there’s a difference between a pilot and pilot season. Pilot season was terrible, because it was [inaudible 00:35:15]. It was artificial scarcity of actors and directors and talent and locations. The idea of being able to see what the thing is before you had to make the full thing is a huge benefit. We had the Game of Thrones guys on to talk about their pilot process and how much they learned shooting a pilot of that show, which was a godsend for them. We could take the best things about the previous system and the best things about the new system and marry them together, I hope, to make something better.

**Craig:** That sounds like a brilliant idea. Let’s do that.

**Akela:** Again, it was also a time where people would just try things. Occasionally, you would get something like The X-Files. That worked. I don’t think at the time that the studio was like, “Oh my god, this is amazing.” It was like, “It works. Slap it on Fridays and see what happens.”

**Craig:** Absolutely. Seinfeld and Cheers come to mind as two shows that were abject failures at the start, just full-on fucking failures, and then they weren’t. Once they caught on, and that’s a lot of television to make, sweating bullets, hoping that people finally catch on. Then they do. There were risks that occurred, and there were rewards that occurred. There was a lot of middle-of-the-roadism also, for sure. There was just some common sense that had been picked up over the years. Pilot season only existed because of cars.

**Akela:** They were sold in the fall.

**Craig:** They were sold in the fall, so that’s when the new show started.

**Akela:** Cars were sold year-round, but the new models would come out.

**Craig:** The new models would come out in September, and the car companies needed new shows to run the ads on. That’s why we ended up with what we ended up with. All that’s gone out the door. It will never go back to what it was, but you can feel…

It was almost like everyone looked around and said, “Nothing about what Netflix is doing makes sense, but obviously, it must make sense, so let’s do what they’re doing, because it couldn’t be that none of that makes sense.” Then they all started doing it. Then they were like, “Oh, no, it doesn’t make sense. It actually doesn’t make sense. We should stop and start going back to stuff that makes sense,” which they are now painfully doing. It seems like there is a painful course correction going on here. The pain is entirely self-inflicted by this industry.

**Akela:** It is. Everyone got enthralled by the idea of subscribers. I am of average intelligence. I will admit that. Sometimes things just do not make sense to me, like NFTs. What the fuck?

**Craig:** NFTs are stupid, and people started to realize that.

**Akela:** Has no one considered that if everyone has a streaming platform, there’s only so many subscribers to go around? What do they think is going to happen? Now we know. It’s imploding.

**Craig:** Now we know. If the only way you can keep your business afloat is by constantly growing your subscriber base, you’re going to run out.

**John:** You’re going to run into a hard cap there.

**Craig:** You’re going to run out. It just doesn’t work. Also, do you remember how expensive cable used to be if you threw HBO and Showtime on there? Oh my god. The bill was 250 bucks a month or something. Now it’s like, if I spend 15 and 15 and 15 and 15 and 15, I can get what I used to get for $300? Yeah, I’ll do that. They devalued their own stuff. They busted all the partnerships they have that created structure.

Again, not sugarcoating the way the past was, but at least from a financial point of view, none of this stuff makes sense to me. I’ve never understood it. I’ve always felt like, I don’t have to. It’s a little bit like I do what I do. Billionaires do what billionaires do. I don’t want a billion dollars. Let them go do that. It does feel like some obvious NFT style what is catching up to us all.

**John:** I see two listener questions here, which I think might be fantastic for our guest here today. Drew, can you help us out?

**Drew Marquardt:** Adam in London writes, “I’m wondering if you have any advice for what I call freeze-frame details in screenplays? These are the kind of details that viewers will only see on a second watch of the film. They might even have to slow down the film or freeze-frame it to see it properly. I’m thinking of the kind of little clues in movies like Hereditary or the subliminal flashes of Tyler Durden in Fight Club. These moments shouldn’t really register for viewers the first time around, so is it odd to signpost them to the reader in the script? Any advice on how you’d word such a moment?”

**Akela:** I usually do signpost them for the reader, just because again, having gone through this process, I’m not going to say executives have gotten lazier, but a lot of people don’t really read scripts, they skim them. Hopefully, your director is going to read it, but you run the risk of things being cut if they’re like, “Oh, we need to get the page count down,” or, “We need to get to this event faster.” I will underline or bold some things in the script, because it forces the reader, the executive, to look at that. This is necessary. If I need to, I can’t remember what script I did this on, but I will be like, hey, this is important.

There was a script recently, pre-Strike, pens down, but yeah, I had a moment where I’m like, “I’m going to highlight this. It will be important later.” Then later on it’s like, “Hey, remember that time I said this was going to be important? Here’s why.” I just want to make sure that the reader, before I’m even given those notes, knows that that moment is important. It’s more of an executive thing than a director thing, because again, I you’ve got a good director, they’re going to read the whole thing. I do highlight those moments however I can in my voice. I think the listener should highlight them in their voice.

**John:** Adam’s also asking about Easter eggs, so things that you might not notice that very first time you’re watching the movie. On a second viewing of Malignant, you might spot some little thing that you didn’t see the first time. That’s maybe not crucial to the initial plot, but it’s rewarding. Akela, can you think of any examples of that where it’s a piece of logic or a piece of something that you’ve put in a script that is maybe not essential for the first viewing of the film, but you need to make sure it’s there for the story to track and make sense?

**Akela:** Again, that would be in the script that I’m currently writing.

**John:** You’re doing it then.

**Akela:** Yes. I don’t say it’s an Easter egg, but in a TV episode, and again, I can’t remember, it was like, on second viewing, the audience should notice this. I have written that in TV scripts, I know.

**John:** I’ve written exactly that, that wording too. Craig, for what you’ve been working on, have there been any examples of things where you’re writing something which you know the viewer’s not going to really catch this the first time through, but will it be meaningful the second time, or that only in a later episode we realize that this line of dialogue is important.

**Craig:** If it’s important, it’s important. That’s how I think about it. If I needed to be in there, either for super fans or people who are obsessive, then it’s going in. Like both of you, I will call it out, so that it’s understood that it’s not just a random detail that should have the same weight as everything else. It is important, even though it seems maybe like it’s not.

Now, there are things that emerge almost always through production, because you capture something, and you’re not quite sure what to do with it, or you get an idea, and you’re like, “Hey, you, go over there, shoot this thing. I don’t know if I’m going to use it or not, but I might.” Then you do, because it’s good. It’s interesting.

One example from Chernobyl, this moment in the episode where it concentrates on the liquidators, the soldiers who went to go clean up Chernobyl, there’s a moment where one of the soldiers sings this traditional Russian song, which lo and behold, is sad. I think it’s called Black Crow. It’s beautiful. It wasn’t anything that we knew about. I didn’t know about it. Johan didn’t know about it. One of the actors was Russian and was just singing it one day, because he said this whole place where we were shooting reminded him of that. I was like, “Here we go.” Sometimes, those things happen.

Because that was a moment where someone was singing something in Russian, we had no expectation that anyone was going to think it was anything other than just some sort of, there’s Russian singing happening now, but not, oh, the lyrics are incredibly poignant and relevant. We just decided screw it, if people are interested, they’ll research it up, and they did. It’s a combination of happy accidents or things that you just, they’re important to you, and that’s enough.

**John:** Yeah. Drew, another question for us?

**Drew:** IMS in Toronto says, “I’m an outlier who doesn’t particularly care about character names. As an audience member, I always seem to forget them or confuse them, and as a writer, I try to avoid them as much as I can. I’m currently writing a story set in the near future, and I refer to all my characters by their profession, you know, reporter, doctor, professor, etc. Since the characters in the story don’t really know each other, there’s no good reason for them to refer to each other by name either. I believe most viewers wouldn’t even realize none of them have proper names. However, a reader told me I should definitely conventionally name the characters for the sake of producers. He says that being an unknown writer, I should avoid straying too much from established standards. He also says that should the script ever get produced, actors might be turned off by the fact that they be playing engineer versus a cool character name. I think that not having a proper character name plays well into a heightened futuristic vibe and vision for the show, but what’s your instinct on this?”

**Akela:** If you believe that in your future world, names are not important, that needs to become a part of the world. That is why they are just called engineer or doctor. Play that up so that the reader understands, oh, this is a world where no one has a proper name. Then you’re not getting notes from executives or actors, because my first thought was like, man, so many actors are going to be like, “What the hell? No,” if only for those IMDb credits, because even now, we’re told, even if it’s just someone who has one line, don’t just put bartender or lady coming out of the bathroom. Give that person a name so that it’s a human being on the IMDb credit.

**John:** I always love that IMDb credit which is like “guy pissing at urinal.”

**Craig:** It’s a great credit.

**John:** The best.

**Craig:** That credit is evocative.

**Akela:** I am someone who’s obsessed with character names. I literally a couple of days ago called my mom, because I’m writing personally, pencils down, something for myself, and it’s set in my hometown. I needed names from the ’90s. I was like, “Hey, can you go get my brother’s yearbook and just start taking photos of his classmates?” I build names off of that.

It is intriguing. That could also be his Wes Anderson thing. We all know a Wes Anderson movie when we fucking see one. If his thing is I don’t want character names, these characters are their professions, that’s a thing. That’s his thing. Again, just make it part of his specific aesthetic in that world, and I think you’ll be fine.

**Craig:** I agree. I actually love this idea. Let me tell you what I don’t love. What I don’t love is anyone who says any version of, “Because you’re an unknown writer, you should not do following.” Fuck that. You’re saying I shouldn’t do a thing that known writers do? If you’re successful and you do this thing, I, being not successful, shouldn’t emulate what successful people do. The thing that successful people do very successfully is not give a fuck about stuff like that. It’s an interesting choice.

It worries me that it’s a show as opposed to a movie, just because 20 episodes in, I do want to get to know people a little bit more intimately, but my guess is you would. At some point, you would. If we’re just talking about a script… Even for the actors, I think when the actor realizes, oh yeah, by the way, Pacino signed on to be Doctor, so it’s okay that we’re coming to you for Lawyer. I think it’s a really interesting thing.

I don’t know who the reader is. I don’t care about crap like that. I’m not interested in readers giving that kind of input. Story input, character input, flow of narrative, all that stuff. It’s when readers put on the “if I ran a studio” hat. You don’t. In fact, your name in my movie would be Reader, so yeah, do that part.

**Akela:** It is interesting. Sorry, I didn’t realize this was a show. I thought it was a movie.

**Craig:** He said show at some point, or she.

**Akela:** They.

**Craig:** They.

**Akela:** It was a show. That would be an interesting thing. Also, what happens when you have two doctors?

**Craig:** You have Tall Doctor and Short Doctor.

**Akela:** Yes, you have to start getting into descriptors. I’m fascinated with the person who asked the question was like, “The characters don’t know each other, so they don’t really address each other by name,” which okay, but if you have Doctor and Engineer talking about Architect, what are they saying?

**Craig:** That’s where I’m not quite sure, since it’s set in the future, even though near future, if this is just a convention that’s occurred societally or if it’s something that’s specific about this other planet or if it’s just that thing where this person says the characters in the story don’t really know each other. There’s no good reason for them to refer to each other by name either. I should say as an aside, one of my pet peeves is when people are constantly using each other’s names with them.

**John:** Their names when they wouldn’t be, yeah.

**Craig:** We just don’t do that. Sometimes I realize, oh my god, I’ve made it to the end of the script, and no one ever said this person’s name out loud, because they didn’t have to. At some point, we do need to know what it is. It would be one thing if IMS said, “They’re going to be called Reporter, Doctor, Professor, and they will never have a name beyond that.” That’s a super hard choice to make.

**John:** It’s a choice.

**Craig:** It’s a choice. If the theory is at some point we’ll learn their names, and actually that’s kind of a big deal, that’s fascinating. Then learning their name becomes really interesting, because when we find out someone’s name that we’ve been talking to or having a connection with, it’s a moment. It’s an interesting moment.

**John:** Absolutely. I agree with everything that’s been said. I think what we need to remember about a name though is it’s not just a thing, handy little handle for our reader, it’s also how people in the world can refer to each other. I think IMS is going to run into problems where they need to talk about that person to a third party, and you just have no way to do that.

Watching a Game of Thrones, most of the time I could not remember any of those characters’ names. We have shorthand in the house, but the tall guy, or the guy who’s traveling with her. You figure out that kind of stuff. You have ways to talk about people. You end up inventing names for people, even if the show itself does not give the person a name. They’re going to be finding ways to identify those people. Let’s do our One Cool Things. Craig, I see you’ve added a One Cool Thing, so I don’t want to take it away from you here.

**Craig:** You wouldn’t, but I don’t always have a One Cool Thing. I like that now it’s special. It takes me forever to watch things. I have been just getting the quiet, passive-aggressive stink eye from Rob McElhenney for months now, because I hadn’t watched his documentary show on Hulu called Welcome to Wrexham.

Welcome to Wrexham is the documentary story of the English football team, the footy club, that he and Ryan Reynolds purchased in Wrexham, Wales, and the story of this team that’s buried in a fairly low-level tier of English football, struggling to make it to get promoted to the next level up.

Finally, I couldn’t handle it anymore, and so I did it. I was going to do it anyway. You watch something for a friend. When you start, it’s a little bit homeworky. I was so in on this thing, within, I don’t know, seven minutes. I was so in on it. It is so well done. It is so charming. It is so sweet. It is not at all what you think it’s going to be. Yes, there is some fun bits of football, but I don’t care about soccer. I’ve never cared about soccer, and furthermore, I never will. What I am obsessed with, stories of economically depressed towns in the United Kingdom. Boy, do I-

**John:** Billy Elliot, yeah, right there.

**Craig:** Oh, Billy Elliot, how you claim my heart, or In the Name of the Father, or any movie that deals with the economically… The Full Monty. There’s so many. What a genre. I love that genre. This is true. This is real people. It focuses on a certain kind of segment of English society that we just generally don’t see. We see lords and ladies, and we see the royalty, and this is something else.

First of all, Rob and Ryan are both, not only on television, but in person, just lovely human beings. They’re just quality humans. What you see is what you get. They’re authentic, and you can tell. What they’ve done for this town and what has happened to this town is pretty remarkable. It is a delight. It is funny at times. It is exhilarating at times and very, very sweet always.

As a kicker for those of you who are Scriptnotes fans, they sent over a gentleman named Humphrey Ker to be their emissary. Humphrey is an Englishman. For those of you who are Scriptnotes fans, he is Megan Ganz’s husband, so Megan Ganz, who’s been on our show and who’s a wonderful person. I met Humphrey when we were all in those early, heady days of Mythic Quest, figuring out what that show was. Humphrey was on staff there as well and also played a part on the show. Big recommendation for Welcome to Wrexham. It is on Hulu. There are a lot of episodes.

**John:** There are a lot of episodes. There are a lot of episodes.

**Craig:** There are a lot of episodes, but they’re 25, 30 minutes long. They go down easy, quick, and you do not need to like either soccer or Britain.

**John:** Or human beings.

**Craig:** Really, or humans. If you like Rob and Ryan, I think you’ll be okay. In fact, if you like Rob or Ryan, you’ll be fine.

**John:** One of the two. A difference between you and me, Craig, so Rob is your friend, Ryan is my friend. I watched it the day it came out and then texted him.

**Craig:** Yeah, because you’re literally a fucking Eagle Scout. You are literally an Eagle Scout. Do you know how many badges I earned as a Boy Scout? Guess.

**John:** Two?

**Craig:** Zero, because I was never a Boy Scout, nor would I ever be. How dare you.

**John:** You should’ve been. My One Cool Thing is shorter and simpler. An article by Clare Watson in Nature called Evolution Keeps Making Crabs, And Nobody Knows Why.

**Craig:** What kind of crabs are we talking about here?

**John:** You know evolution. Evolution, things adapted to their environment. They change. You have trees of things that grow out. You see, oh, these would be all the crabs. For some reason, crabs have independently developed many, many times. They are not related in ways that they should be related. They will develop claws and pincers in ways that they work. There’s true crabs and not true crabs. There’s something about the biomechanical form of crabs that is-

**Craig:** I’m literally laughing every single sentence that you say the word crabs.

**John:** I say crabs. It’s great.

**Craig:** Every single one is funny. Keep going.

**John:** There’s something about crabs, Craig.

**Craig:** Yes, there is.

**John:** They just get under your skin. They’re an irritant.

**Craig:** You keep scratching at this, you’re going to get to something important.

**John:** You keep scratching, I’m going to get to something good here. How they work in multiple environments has given them some sort of evolutionary advantage. We keep coming back to crabs for some reason. I think at some point, we’ll be visited by an alien species, and they will probably be crab-like, because it just seems to be a very effective form.

**Craig:** Have you seen the South Park episode where they go underground and meet the crab people?

**John:** I do not remember a crab people episode of that.

**Craig:** Spectacular.

**John:** I’m sure. I’m sure it’s spectacular.

**Craig:** Crab people. Crab people. The headline here, we’ve discussed many times that people who write articles do not write the headlines that go on the articles. I can’t give Clare Watson credit for this. Clare Watson wrote the article that you’re referring to here. Somebody at sciencealert.com wrote this headline, Evolution Keeps Making Crabs, And Nobody Knows Why. That’s awesome. Nobody?

**John:** Nobody.

**Craig:** What? Where are all these crabs coming from, evolution? This is also delightful.

**John:** It is delightful. You look through the tree here, and you see, oh, why did it happen this way? We don’t know.

**Craig:** Nobody knows.

**John:** Crabs.

**Craig:** Crabs. People.

**John:** Akela, what do you have for us?

**Akela:** I guess overall it’s Arnold Schwarzenegger.

**Craig:** That works.

**Akela:** I’m a fan of documentaries, and I recently watched the Arnold doc on Netflix. Also just being an ’80s baby, Arnold Schwarzenegger was huge in my household. My dad is a huge Conan the Barbarian fan, so he watched it all the time. I love Terminator, Commando, Predator. We’ve talked about Predator.

**Craig:** Commando.

**Akela:** I’m just fascinated by that era. I’m also in the process of reading this book called The Last Action Heroes: The Triumphs, Flops, and Feuds of Hollywood’s Kings of Carnage, which is basically about that period in the ’80s between Schwarzenegger, Stallone-

**Craig:** Stallone.

**Akela:** … Van Dam, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan. It is fascinating to just see behind the curtain of that and how much Stallone and Schwarzenegger actually hated each other. It was basically like evolutionary warfare. They were each other’s inspiration. I think after Stallone did Rambo, Schwarzenegger was like, “I need a movie like that.” Commando came out.

**Craig:** Commando happened. Did they talk about how Stallone ended up in, I think it was Stop or My Mom Will Shoot?

**Akela:** No, I haven’t gotten to that part yet. I am on-

**Craig:** It’s incredible.

**Akela:** He has just directed Staying Alive.

**Craig:** All I’ll say is, Schwarzenegger is an evil genius. That’s all I’m going to say. Let’s see if they get to it. It’s spectacular.

**Akela:** Oh my god, you watch the documentaries. I am on TikTok, and so sometimes there will be clips from old movies. There’s this interview with Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura, which I think is part of the behind the scenes on Predator. Jesse Ventura was like, “I went into wardrobe and I found out that my bicep was one inch bigger than Schwarzenegger’s. I was bragging about it.” Then Schwarzenegger was like, “Good, because I went in before him and I told the wardrobe lady to measure him and lie and say his bicep was bigger than mine, so that then I could go and bet him a bottle of champagne that it wasn’t true.” He is a mastermind. It’s so weird how cunning and charming Arnold Schwarzenegger is. He has done awful things. In the documentary, he actually owns up to all of that. That man’s mind is like a steep trap. It’s since he was a child too.

**Craig:** I will say that the bicep trick, it’s almost exactly what he does to Stallone, except on a scale that is so terrifying, and that led to an entire movie being made that should’ve never been made. It’s astonishing.

**John:** I love it.

**Akela:** I look forward to that. That’s what my Cool Thing right now is. Again, I just love ’80s action movies, ’80s horror movies.

**Craig:** Have you ever seen the little best of moments from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s DVD commentary on Conan the Barbarian?

**Akela:** A long time ago.

**Craig:** John, have you ever seen it?

**John:** You’ve talked me through them. It sounds amazing. I think over D and D we’ve talked about it. It’s great.

**Craig:** It’s so special. “Look at [indiscernible 01:00:27]. Look at him. Now he’s turning into a snake.” He’s just saying what you’re looking at. “Now he’s drinking the liquid.”

**John:** It’s descriptions for the visually impaired and blind. I love it.

**Craig:** It’s incredible. He’s so drunk when he’s doing it. He’s so clearly shit-faced.

**Akela:** One of the great things years ago was the musicals on YouTube of his movies, like Commando the musical. Oh my god.

**Craig:** I gotta check that out.

**Akela:** You have to watch this. It’s hilarious.

**Craig:** Love Commando.

**John:** We’ll add it to the list.

**Craig:** “Hey Bennett, why don’t you let off a little steam?”

**Akela:** It really is them singing. It’s like, “Bennett, John, I’m here again.”

**Craig:** What is his name? It’s John. What is it again? It’s a name that a man with a strong Austrian accent would not have.

**John:** Perfect.

**Craig:** He plays John Matrix. That’s his name, John Matrix, you know, a very popular name in [crosstalk 01:01:25], John Matrix.

**John:** Matrix.

**Craig:** “I’m John Matrix.”

**Akela:** It’s just at some point, he was so successful. People were just like, “We don’t care how he got the accent.”

**Craig:** It doesn’t matter.

**Akela:** It makes no sense how he has any of the jobs he does.

**John:** Love it.

**Craig:** Just the armory bunker that he has in Commando alone, which I loved. I loved that. I was like, “He’s got a special secret room full of all the weapons in the world.” Anyway, that’s our show.

**John:** That’s our show. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt.

**Craig:** Wahoo!

**John:** It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** Woo-woo!

**John:** Our outro is by Nora Beyer. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you can find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing.

We have T-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau. Craig, I forgot to send you, I think I did text you the new Scriptnotes T-shirt. Did I send it to you?

**Craig:** I don’t think you did.

**John:** You can picture the CBS Special Presentation, right?

**Craig:** (sings)

**John:** Imagine that with the word Scriptnotes coming in and that color pattern.

**Craig:** All I want to wear. Just get me an entire wardrobe of that.

**John:** They’re absolutely gorgeous. You will love them.

**Craig:** That was before your time, Akela, I’m guessing, the CBS Special Presentation intro music? (sings)

**Akela:** I think so, yeah.

**Craig:** That was such dopamine for ’70s kids.

**John:** Oh my god.

**Craig:** That meant something fucking incredible was about to go down.

**John:** Was about to happen.

**Craig:** Whether it was like, it’s Rikki-Tikki-Tavi or it’s whatever, it’s some animated awesomeness or some just incredible thing.

**John:** Not a Bond movie, because CBS didn’t have the Bond movies, but something great like that was going to be on. So good.

**Craig:** Something awesome. It would spin. Crack. Crack for ‘70s kids.

**John:** So good. So good. You can sign up to become a Premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and bonus segments, like the one we should record, although we’re running out of time. Akela, are we willing to talk about the writers’ programs you went through before you started your staff writing career? Because I’m really curious how those went for you and what you think about the changes there.

**Akela:** Yes.

**John:** Akela Cooper, thank you so much for coming on Scriptnotes. It was an absolute delight to get to talk to you about Schwarzenegger and genre and how to change the film and television industry.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**John:** You’re an absolute hero [indiscernible 01:03:52].

**Akela:** Thank you. This was fun.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Akela, so you, before you started as a staff writer on V, you had gone through film school. You’d also done two different writing programs. Can you tell us about what you learned in those different programs and how they helped or did not help you get started as a television writer?

**Akela:** They both helped tremendously. As somebody who’s a little bit socially awkward, I did the CBS writers’ program first, and it was really helpful in helping to set expectations for staff writers when we are on the show. For lack of a better phrase, a lot of times, staff writers don’t know how to act in the writers’ room. That can often be to their detriment, which will lead to them not being asked back. We had people who would come in. Showrunners would come in and talk to us about expectations and answer our questions, like, is this okay, is that not okay.

It was just a great experience in how to navigate potential scenarios and also just building a network of people that we could reach out to, whether it was like… I’m actually still friends with Carole Kirschner, who runs the CBS writers’ program. I had a great mentor in Leigh Redman, who was at CBS at the time. If ever I felt lost, I would be like, “Hey, can you guys help me out here? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” or on that level.

We also did mock writers’ rooms. It was like, hey, we’re going to break an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. John Worth came in to talk us through that, show us the ropes of what a writers’ room does and how it operates before we actually got into one. It set us up for success.

Warner Bros operates in pretty much the same way. It was just another bite at the apple. It’s like, okay, this is what you do for this situation, and this is what you do for this situation. Warner Bros was also very helpful in getting most of us representation. I got my manager through the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop, which I still have today. I think he and I are going on 14 years together.

**John:** A question for you, Akela. You are a huge success. You came out of these programs and are a huge success. Of your cohorts who are in those programs, how many of them are workings as writers today, top of your head? A bunch?

**Akela:** A bunch. In CBS, I can say Aaron Rahsaan Thomas was a showrunner for SWAT on CBS. From CBS, he ended up getting on Friday Night Lights. Janet Lynn did a bunch. She did Bones, I think after CBS, meaning that’s the job that she got coming out of the program. She’s been working her way up. Those are the two off the top of my head. I think there’s another one who ended up in animation, who was with us in our program. He was doing well in animation. Warner Bros, Lilla and Nora Zuckerman, who were the showrunners recently on Poker Face. Now I need to look up all of our class. Most of us are working.

**John:** That’s a pretty good hit rate. It feels like it was a good investment for these programs to have spent the time and money on you guys to make sure that you had this training, because now you’re able to make shows for these networks, which is amazing. Now, talk to us about what you learned in those programs versus learned at USC and film school? You went through a graduate screenwriting program?

**Akela:** Yes. Love USC, as someone who had no connections to the industry here. It was helpful for me. I know a lot of people don’t need grad school. You don’t have to spend that money. Again, I went to USC for feature writing, not knowing there was… At the time, there was a nascent TV program. I got into that, because we would have to take one class. I ended up discovering this whole new world that I did not know existed beforehand.

USC is what got me into television. It opened my eyes in that way. I had a lot of good professors who were very supportive, because a lot of people think that USC, especially at the time, was like, “This is where you go to make several blockbusters. They don’t care about art or anything like that. That’s what you go to NYU for.” Our professors were like, “No, write what you want to write. Write what you are passionate about.” They were very nurturing and encouraging in that aspect and just teaching us.

As far as features goes, I did need to learn structure, because I had written scripts in high school and college. They’re trash. It was very helpful. There’s a structure, first act, second act, third act. You can break it up into five acts if you fucking feel like it. There’s a structure to movies.

Also, even with USC, it’s like, nothing else matters if no one cares about the characters. That was the big thing at USC. It’s like, you gotta get your audience invested in your characters no matter what you are writing. It was a really good experience in setting me up to learn the basics before you start going off and breaking the rules.

**John:** Akela, can I guess that USC was really good in theory and how to get words on the page, but these programs were how to actually be a working writer in the business? Is that a fair difference?

**Akela:** USC was like, you had deadlines and you had to turn in pages, but CBS and Warner Bros is like, you got two weeks usually. It doesn’t matter, when you’re on a show, what you are going through. You gotta turn in your scripts. It’s a machine. Of course, this was network television that they were focusing on at the time. It’s like, once that production train is moving, they’re not going to stop for you as a staff writer, so you have to learn how to hit your deadlines and make your showrunner’s life easier.

**John:** Craig, you have never been a big fan of organized education over screenwriting or television writing. Hearing this description of the writers’ programs at these studios, what’s your instinct? What do you feel?

**Craig:** They’re proper vocational programs. It makes absolute sense. In most, we’ll call them crafts, trades, there is a job training that is run either by an employer, which in this case is what this is, or they’re also apprenticeship programs that are run through unions. What you don’t do is spend $80,000 a year to have somebody lecture to you about arc welding. You instead are employed and trained as an arc welder. You learn how to arc weld from folks in the arc welders local whatever. Then you start arc welding.

I am fully in favor of all vocational programs like this, but particularly these programs that are run by the companies, because they’re certainly not going to be leading you down a primrose path. They’re going to be teaching you how to work for them. That’s what they’re there for. Big thumb’s up to any vocational program. Not so much of a thumb’s up to expensive graduate programs.

**John:** Akela, what is the status of these programs right now? Some were canceled. Some were reinstated. Do we know where these programs are at right now?

**Akela:** I believe CBS is still going, but Warner Bros has been dismantled due to-

**Craig:** I thought they brought it back. I thought there was an outcry.

**Akela:** There was. From what I understand, I don’t think it’s going to be the same thing. I could be wrong. The program, as far as I knew it, is no longer there.

**John:** Of course, one of the issues also is how our industry works, is that these programs can train a bunch of writers inside their programs, but those people are going to be working for all the other networks. I can see someone looking at this as a cost on a balance sheet and saying, oh, why should we be paying to train writers for Netflix or for other people. It’s short-term thinking, but also that’s the frustration.

**Akela:** I think CBS joined, because when I did CBS, they didn’t pay for you as a staff writer, which is a point of contention, but Warner Bros. The idea was that Warner Bros didn’t want their own farm system. We were like Triple-A baseball. They were going to invest money in us.

On V, because I got V through Warner Bros, they paid for me. My salary did not come out of the show’s budget. That’s what that means. I think they would do that for two years, because they do want to start you off as a staff writer, and hopefully you get on a hit show and you work your way up and then they’ve got a showrunner down the line. The original idea of the Warner Bros Writers’ Workshop was that, yes, they’re going to do what you say, John, they’re going to invest money in us, and then years later they’re going to have a trained showrunner within their camp.

**Craig:** I think Universal’s feature development program works similarly, where they’re like, look, we’re going to put you through this program. You’re going to learn these things. We’re basically giving you a blind script deal for something. We can also put something on you. We can assign you something. The point is, you’re going to write something here. You’re going to write it for… There are definitely ways to make it function.

The expense of these programs is couch change. It’s not an actual number that is relevant to the operation of these companies. No offense to Mr. Zaslav, but every time he sneezes more money comes out than the amount that any of those programs cost. If they want to say that, they can say it, but that ain’t why. It’s usually because it’s a hassle to make a program, find people to run the program, deal with people having issues with the program, and then figuring out who should be in the program. It’s annoying. Doing things is hard. It’s so much easier to not do things than to do things, so they don’t want to do things. This is worth doing. It would be hard for anybody to defend not doing it with any excuse other than, “I don’t want to.” That’s the only actual legitimate excuse I can imagine.

**John:** Akela Cooper, thank you so much.

**Akela:** Thank you.

**Craig:** Thank you, Akela.

**John:** Bye.

**Craig:** Bye.

Links:

* Akela Cooper on [IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm4868455/) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/akelacooper/)
* [Paramount Writers Mentoring Program](https://www.paramount.com/writers-mentoring-program)(formerly CBS Writers Mentoring Program)
* [Warner Bros. Television Workshop](https://televisionworkshop.warnerbros.com/)
* [M3GAN Dance Scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c7XccFwJrQ)
* [Episode 122: “Young Billionaires Guide to Hollywood”](https://johnaugust.com/2013/young-billionaires-guide-to-hollywood)
* [Ben Affleck And Matt Damon Launch Production Company With RedBird Capital’s Gerry Cardinale](https://deadline.com/2022/11/ben-affleck-matt-damon-launch-production-company-with-redbird-capital-1235178013/) by Bruce Haring for Variety
* [Warner Bros. Discovery In Talks To License HBO Original Series To Netflix](https://deadline.com/2023/06/warner-bros-discovery-in-talks-to-license-hbo-original-series-to-netflix-1235421444/) by Peter White for Deadline
* [The Carsey-Werner Company](https://www.carseywerner.com/) on [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Carsey-Werner_Company)
* [Чёрный Ворон (Black Raven) – Chernobyl OST](https://youtu.be/-q23tuds2ZU)
* [Evolution Keeps Making Crabs, And Nobody Knows Why](https://www.sciencealert.com/evolution-keeps-making-crabs-and-nobody-knows-why) by Clare Watson for Science Alert
* [Welcome to Wrexham](https://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/welcome-to-wrexham) on FX and Hulu
* [Arnold](https://www.netflix.com/title/81317673) on Netflix
* [The Last Action Heroes](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/668268/the-last-action-heroes-by-nick-de-semlyen/) by Nick de Semlyen
* [Commando: The Musical](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FFQ_g8OoQM)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Check out the Inneresting Newsletter](https://inneresting.substack.com/)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [Craig Mazin](https://www.instagram.com/clmazin/) on Instagram
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [John on Mastodon](https://mastodon.art/@johnaugust)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Nora Beyer ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli). Our intern is Halley Lamberson.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/603standard.mp3).

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Newsletter

Inneresting Logo A Quote-Unquote Newsletter about Writing
Read Now

Explore

Projects

  • Aladdin (1)
  • Arlo Finch (27)
  • Big Fish (88)
  • Birdigo (2)
  • Charlie (39)
  • Charlie's Angels (16)
  • Chosen (2)
  • Corpse Bride (9)
  • Dead Projects (18)
  • Frankenweenie (10)
  • Go (29)
  • Karateka (4)
  • Monsterpocalypse (3)
  • One Hit Kill (6)
  • Ops (6)
  • Preacher (2)
  • Prince of Persia (13)
  • Shazam (6)
  • Snake People (6)
  • Tarzan (5)
  • The Nines (118)
  • The Remnants (12)
  • The Variant (22)

Apps

  • Bronson (14)
  • FDX Reader (11)
  • Fountain (32)
  • Highland (73)
  • Less IMDb (4)
  • Weekend Read (64)

Recommended Reading

  • First Person (87)
  • Geek Alert (151)
  • WGA (162)
  • Workspace (19)

Screenwriting Q&A

  • Adaptation (65)
  • Directors (90)
  • Education (49)
  • Film Industry (490)
  • Formatting (130)
  • Genres (89)
  • Glossary (6)
  • Pitches (29)
  • Producers (59)
  • Psych 101 (118)
  • Rights and Copyright (96)
  • So-Called Experts (47)
  • Story and Plot (170)
  • Television (165)
  • Treatments (21)
  • Words on the page (237)
  • Writing Process (177)

More screenwriting Q&A at screenwriting.io

© 2025 John August — All Rights Reserved.