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Scriptnotes, Episode 493: Opening Scenes, Transcript

March 26, 2021 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2021/opening-scenes).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 493 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show we’ll take a look at opening scenes, how they work, and what writers should consider when planning them out. Then we’ll dive into the weird world of foreign levies and why our friend Stuart is getting mysterious checks.

**Craig:** I don’t want to know.

**John:** Finally we’ll discuss the rise of the megaplex and with it the past and future of movie-going.

**Craig:** OK.

**John:** And in our bonus segment for premium members Craig and I will help a listener answer a question about clichés and conventions. This is a listener in Copenhagen, so it’s a Copenhagen question about clichés and conventions.

**Craig:** All right. We’ll get into it.

**John:** We will do it all. But, first, Craig you and I have not talked about this on mic or off mic, but if you are planning to have another kid my advice for you would be to wait until after May 2. If you can wait until after May 2 it will behoove you.

**Craig:** You would have chosen by now if you were to be having a kid after May 2. I’m definitely not having any more kids. You know what, I say definitely, you never know.

**John:** You never know.

**Craig:** You never know.

**John:** I would say that the shop is closed, but I see babies and man I like babies. If I could have a baby for like a year I would be just the happiest person in the world. It’s that toddler and sort of like – honestly it’s that awkward kid’s birthday party stage I don’t want to go through again.

**Craig:** I’m good with five to 10. That’s what I like. I like when kids are children and they’re running around and playing and they’re going to grade school and nothing really matters and they can laugh and have fun. But they also aren’t peeing and pooping in their pants. And they’re not teenagers.

**John:** Yes. I believe it’s important that writers make decisions about when they want to have kids.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** And that could be a little bit easier for some writers in the WGA because starting May 2 the details have just been announced that on May 2 the paid parental leave will go into effect.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** So this was something that was one at this most recent round of negotiations. And it’s pretty good. And so if you are a WGA member and you have a kid after May 2, or adopt a kid, or otherwise add to your family after May 2 you are eligible for the paid parental leave. And it could be a real boon for many writers in our guild.

**Craig:** Yeah. So basically the rule is you can’t work and also receive – you need to the leave part of the paid parental leave in order to get the benefit, but the benefit is pretty solid, especially if you are a staff writer on a show. They’re trying to kind of get in near whatever perhaps minimums might be. So, $2,000 a week for up to eight weeks and they don’t need to be taken consecutively. And it looks like it also covers both birth and adoption and fostering. And placement for adoption. That’s interesting.

**John:** So if you are also a married writing couple who both of you are WGA members and you are having a kid you are both eligible for it, which was something I wasn’t sure was going to happen. So, that’s also a boon. Anyway, just some good news. It’s the first ever of its kind in the nation. The first ever sort of union paid parental leave that goes with you wherever your job is. It applies to screenwriters, variety/comedy writers as well. So, check that out if you are thinking about having kids or if you are currently pregnant try to wait till May 2 to give birth.

I was actually talking with a writer who is in that situation. Who is like my due date is May 1 but we’re trying to make it May 2.

**Craig:** It’s OK because the benefit is available for a 12-month window from the date of birth, adoption, or placement. So, you might have a couple of weeks of unpaid parental leave but then it gets paid. So, there is that. And it doesn’t have to be taken consecutively. So, you can do four weeks on, four weeks off. So that’s a terrific thing and it’s wonderful that we did get that concession from the companies as part of our collective bargaining power.

**John:** Yeah. So for follow-up. Hannah asks a question about gray areas. This is from Episode 492. Do you want to take Hannah’s question?

**Craig:** Sure. Hannah says, her question is regarding screenplay credit before it has been arbitrated. She says, “I have seen several examples now of writers being listed as the, insert big movie name, writer when the movie has not in fact come out yet. But the writer is taking credit where credit may or may not be due. Where do you come down on screenwriters taking credit and using it for personal promotional gain pre-arbitration?”

And we have talked about this to some extent before. John, where do you come down on this?

**John:** So, before credit is determined obviously if there’s a Variety story if someone was hired on to work on a thing that’s part of what you’re currently working on, so it’s totally fair game to talk about you working on it. No one has any disputes about that. Where it gets more awkward, I was actually having a conversation with another screenwriter about that, is when you’re talking about a project where you have a really minimal credit but you still talk about it as if you’re the writer on the thing. Or it’s a thing where you kind of feel like you probably won’t get credit on it, but you’re being listed for it. It’s awkward. And it’s a known awkwardness in how stuff is discussed in this town.

**Craig:** Yeah. So Hannah there’s something that might help you a little bit with the gray area here is that part of our rules are that before the arbitration happens the company does have the right to make a good faith guess of what the credit should or would be and then publicize it. Meaning they’re allowed to put the name of the writer on a movie poster before the arbitration is done. And there have been cases where there are posters with credits that then don’t reflect the final credits, so the poster changes. The idea there was we didn’t want writers to be disappeared off of things just because the arbitration hasn’t happened.

And arbitration sometimes take a really long time to get to. And they take a long time to finish. So, my feeling is that it’s perfectly fine for a writer to say, yes, if Variety is saying they worked on this to say, yes, I did work on it. That’s the way I put it. I worked on it. What I don’t think we should say is, “I wrote it,” because other people might also have written it.

**John:** Yeah. So, I think we’re trying to distinguish between employment and writing credit. And writing credit is a WGA credit. And employment, like I am working on this thing, is a thing you would say in a meeting, that’s a different beast.

Another follow-up question. Anonymous wrote in about whisper networks, which we talked about last episode. “One thing I felt was missing from that segment is that the whisper network exists to be amplified by those in positions of relative power. Those disempowered cannot convince the empowered of injustice or mistreatment because they’ve already been disempowered. So if someone like Harvey Weinstein hears from a woman that women are not his personal sex vessels it means nothing because he’s already decided that women are not worthy of full agency. It takes a whole bunch of men, people he respects, condemning him to rectify that.

“It’s hard to use Harvey Weinstein as an example here because it doesn’t seem that he respects anyone, but I hope I’m getting my point across.”

So, Craig, let’s follow up on this whisper network thing because I feel like Anonymous has a different idea of whisper networks than what you and I were talking about. So, for my conception a whisper network is like a warning system to others in a group rather than something that’s trying to systematically take down the abuser.

**Craig:** That’s my understanding, too. That is in fact why it is whispered. The point is the whisper networks, I think, would benefit from being amplified by those in positions of relative power, but they come into existence because specifically there is not a free and respected space for those opinions or information to be expressed.

**John:** So the whispering part of this is important. It’s like you’re not publically saying it out loud. But I think the network part is really especially problematic here because you have to be in the network to get the warning. So you have to – you know, a whisper network is only useful if you are actually able to hear the whisper network, or you’re part of it. And that can be the problem is that people who can be taken advantage of or having bad things happen to them is because they’re not benefiting from this network that they’re being excluded from. And that is a real issue.

And when we talk about the gray areas and sort of like when someone like you or I should speak up it’s because there are people who are being excluded from this whisper network as well that can’t get the warnings that you and I have heard.

**Craig:** Well right. So, that’s the other thing that’s important to note is that because of the nature of those whisper networks and the fact that they are typically an in-group kind of network it’s quite often the case that people who are in positions of relative power don’t know about it, because it’s being whispered. So, I did not know about a whisper network about Harvey Weinstein. I was not part of the whisper network about Harvey Weinstein for good reason. Nobody is going to call me up and say, “By the way, you need to know that if you’re going to take a job over there that you don’t want to be alone with Harvey,” because I’m not the one that’s going to be suffering there.

And so they’re actually protective of each other I think in a good way because they’re concerned that exposure will have negative impacts. That’s at least my understanding of how it functions.

**John:** Yeah. I mean, Harvey Weinstein is sort of an extreme example. Let’s step back and say that for many, many years I heard people talk about how Ellen DeGeneres was mean. I think you probably had the same experience too. People would talk about Ellen and Ellen is mean and that she has a great public persona but she’s actually mean behind the scenes. And I don’t know that to be true, but I heard it a lot.

And could I have spoken up more about it? I don’t know that it would have benefited me or anyone, but also there’s a difference between what I was hearing was sort of like she’s kind of mean and I wasn’t hearing anything worse than that. And so I did nothing.

**Craig:** Well, that’s also part of the issue with the whisper networks is that they have a freedom that expressed and amplified points of view don’t have. Expressed and amplified points of view are often held accountable to fact and truth. And so that’s where you start to end up in situations where you’re saying, OK, I have heard and therefore I need everybody to know that yada-yada-yada, well we have defamation laws. And we have lawsuits and we have all the rest of it, and for good reason, because you don’t want people to just simply say – anybody can say anything about anyone, of course. So, what I find fascinating and encouraging about the whisper networks that have existed from what I can tell they have operated extraordinarily responsibly.

I know that there are some people who don’t think so. Usually they’re the people that are being knocked by some of the whisper networks. And then you have to sort of, OK, figure that part out. But, you know, one thing that has maybe not been observed enough about the era that we live in now, we’ll call it the #MeToo or post #MeToo era, I guess we’re still in the #MeToo era and we will be until that problem goes away, is that there is enormous amount of power available to somebody in a sense to take someone else down.

And it doesn’t seem to me like people are behaving poorly, or abusing that power, which is rather amazing. Because the whole thing is in response to abusive power. And so there’s a group of people that have been the victims of abusive power. They get a kind of power which is to name and shame and they don’t abuse it. They just use it responsibly and fairly and justly. That is pretty amazing. And gratifying. And encouraging.

**John:** And I will say that when you try to move from informal networks, like whisper networks, to official systematized processes for investigation and such there’s definite pros to that. There’s definitely accountability. You can actually take actions that you couldn’t take in an informal network.

**Craig:** Correct.

**John:** But it also is really challenging to decide sort of what the rules are you’re going to make and what are the standards. It is really difficult and it is a thing we’ve seen out of #MeToo. It’s a thing we’ve seen in other efforts to hold people accountable for their actions. So just to acknowledge that it’s difficult.

**Craig:** Incredibly so. And terrifying. Because just knowing something to be true isn’t enough. And I think most reasonable people understand this. It’s not good. We don’t like it. But we know that just knowing something is true is not enough to save your abuser from re-abusing you, casting you in a different light, turning themselves into the victim, turning you into the problem. This is the playbook. In fact, we know from the Harvey Weinstein, was it Lisa Bloom? Was that his lawyer? Was essentially saying this is the playbook. This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to destroy these women by dragging their reputations through the mud.

If you know that that’s going to happen then it takes a remarkable amount of bravery to get out there and say what you say. And people are going to come at you. And they’re going to come at you for all sorts of reasons. I mean, when I look at the sort of things that have been said about Rose McGowan, there’s a mountain of stuff that just gets slung their way and it’s a hell of a thing to go out there and take all the shots, know that you’re going to take all the shots, and still stand up for what fact is, and what truth is.

**John:** Yeah. So, we will not be able to solve these problems in the industry.

**Craig:** Segue.

**John:** Segue. But, what we can do is talk about really specific crafty things which I feel like you and I are much better in our element to discuss. And so this actually comes from a question that Martin in Sandringham, Australia wrote in to ask. “I’m curious about the process to decide on the beginning point of your screenplays. Have you noticed a pattern of thinking that you tend to follow when choosing that first line of a script to be in the story? Or is it purely driven by the unique nature of the story that you’re telling?”

So, Craig, it occurs to me that often we do a Three Page Challenge and we’re looking at the first three pages of a script. We’re really looking at these opening scenes and yet because we’re only looking at that scene we don’t really have a sense of what that scene is doing for the telling of the rest of the movie. We’re really just focused on what is the experience reading these scenes, what are the words on the page, but not what is that scene doing to establish the bigger picture of the movie.

So, I thought today we’d spend some time really looking at opening scenes and our process as we go into thinking about an opening scene for a movie, or writing one.

**Craig:** It’s a great question, Martin. And I think it has changed over time stylistically, which is no surprise. When we were kids and we saw movies from 30 years earlier, meaning the ‘50s, the opening scenes seemed a lot different than the opening scenes we were used to. I mean, we’re sitting at home watching a VHS tape of Raiders of the Lost Ark. We see how that opening goes. And then maybe dad shows us a movie from 1955 and it’s much slower, and more expository in a flat sort of way. Perhaps there’s jaunty music happening or sweeping violins.

These days as time has gone on it seems like opening scenes more and more are about a strange kind of disorientation, a giving to you of a puzzle that the implied contract is this will all make sense. But I think of maybe the most influential opening sequence or scene in recent television history was the opening sequence of Breaking Bad which was designed specifically to be what the hell is going on. What is that? Why are there pants there? Why is there an RV? What is happening? Why are there bullet holes? And then the puzzle gets solved.

**John:** So, I like that you’re bringing up the change from earlier movies to sort of present day movies in how openings work because I think you could make the same observation about how teasers and trailers for movies from a previous time worked versus how they work now. And you look at those old trailers and you’re like oh my god this is so boring. This is not selling me on the movie at all. And in many ways we now look for these opening scenes, opening sequences, to really be like a trailer for the movie you’re about to see. They’re really setting stuff up and getting you excited to watch this movie you’re about to watch and to sort of reward you for like thank you for sitting down in your seat and giving me your attention because this is what’s going to happen.

So let’s maybe start by talking about what are the story elements that need to happen in these opening scenes or opening sequences. They don’t have to happen, but tend to happen in these opening sequences. What are we trying to do story wise, plot wise, or character wise in these scenes?

**Craig:** Well you have choices. You don’t actually have to do anything. Sometimes the opening is just about meeting a person. And you are accentuating the lack of story. They’re happy. They’re carefree. Everything is fine. But I agree with you. More and more there is a kind of trailerification of the opening of a movie or a television show. And there is the indication of a thing. And it’s often a thing that the characters don’t even see. Or if they do see it they’re looking at it from a different time. This is later, or this is earlier, whatever it is, but there is an indication of something, there is a crack in reality that needs to be healed somehow.

**John:** Yeah. So from a story perspective you’re generally meeting characters. If you’re not meeting your central character you’re meeting another character who is important or a character who represents an important part of the story. So in that opening scene you might be meeting a character who ends up dying at the end of that scene or sequence but it’s setting up an important thing about what’s going to happen in the course of your story, the course of your movie.

You’re hopefully learning about the tone of this piece. And what it feels like to be watching this movie. The setting of this world. How the movie kind of works. And some of the rules of this world. Like if you’re in a fantasy universe is there magic? How does gravity work? What are the edges of what this kind of movie can be? Because in that opening scene you want to have a sense of like this is the general kind of movie that we’re watching so that you can benefit from all the expectations that an audience brings into that because of the genre, because of the type of movie that you’re setting up.

**Craig:** Yeah. I think about openings that have always stuck with me as being confusing. And challenging, which I’ve always loved. And I often look at, very curious opening to Blade Runner, which was not the original opening that they had planned. But it’s the opening they ended up with. And neither of the characters in that scene are main characters. There is an unknown investigator and there is a replicant who we don’t know is a replicant. But he’s not the important one. He’s not the head villain. He’s a henchman essentially.

And you have no idea what the hell is going on. There’s one man in a very strange device that might be futuristic, or antique, asking strange questions of this guy and seemingly zeroing in on something important. And then the man feeling somewhat trapped by the series of very abstract questions kills the investigator.

What happens there is a challenge to you to try and keep up and a promise that it will make sense later. But in addition I know that this world looks a certain way. I know people are going to dress a certain way. And I also know that it is going to expect some things of me. It’s good if the first scene gives the audience a difficulty level. It doesn’t have to be high difficulty, right? I mean, sometimes your first scene says this is going to be an easy play. But let people know what the difficulty is with that first scene.

**John:** So, as you’re talking about that I’m now recalling that scene and it works really well and it’s setting up that this is a mystery story. That there are going to be questions of identity and sort of existential issues here. Even though you don’t know that it’s necessarily a science-fiction world it’s a pretty grounded science-fiction if it is a science-fiction world, so all these things are really important.

Now, Craig, an experience I’ve had sometimes reading a friend’s script, or someone I’m working with’s script is that I will really enjoy the movie that they’ve written, but I’ll come back and say this is not your first scene. You have written a first scene that does not actually match your movie and does not actually help your movie. And it’s a weird way to run into, but I often find that some scripts I really like they just don’t start right. They start on the wrong beat.

Or, and sort of dig deeper, you find that the writer wrote that scene first but then they kind of wrote a different movie.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And they need to write a new first scene that actually helps set up the movie they actually really wrote. Is that a common experience you’ve had?

**Craig:** I’ve noticed this. I think sometimes, well, it’s hard to hit that mark because nothing else has been written yet. So, it’s your first swing. Sometimes the first scene suffers from a sense of, oh, you’ve been thinking about this as a short film for about seven years and you finally got the nerve worked up to finish it. But the problem is this thing feels like it’s a seven-year-long thoughtful short film, and then the rest of it is just a movie.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Sometimes it’s the opposite. Sometimes there’s a sense that the opening is fine, but it is not special. And the opening is our chance to be brave. I think that we have two moments in movies or in any particular episode of television where the audience will forgive us a lot. And it’s at the very beginning and it’s at the very end. In the middle you’ve got to stay in between the lines on the road. But in the beginning and the end you get to have fun.

**John:** Let’s talk about why you have that special relationship with the audience at the start, because they’ve deliberately sat down to watch the thing that you’ve created. And so if they were going into a movie theater to watch it there they’ve put forth a lot of effort. They bought a ticket. They’ve driven themselves to that theater. They’re going to probably watch your whole movie whether they love it or they don’t love it.

And so in those first minutes they really, really, really want to love what you’re giving them. Their guards are down. In TV they could flip away more easily, so there’s some issues there. But their expectations are very malleable at that start. So you really can kind of take them anywhere and you get a lot of things for free. You get some – they come in with a bit of trust. And if you can sort of honor that trust and honor that expectation and get them to keep trusting you they’re going to go on your story. If you don’t set that hook well they may just wander off and they may never really fully engage with the story that you’re trying to tell.

**Craig:** Yeah. They’re hungry at the beginning. They’re hungry. So don’t just immediately shove all the food down their throat. You can have some fun here. You know that they want to feel that anticipation. When you go to a concert and there’s the opening act, and then they’re done and they leave, and then the PA system is playing just songs and you’re waiting. And then the lights go down. And it’s not like the lights go down and then the band comes out, “Here we are, let’s go,” and then they immediately start a song. There’s usually some sort of like…you know, they get you ready. And it can go on for a while. Because everybody knows oh my god it’s happening. Right?

**John:** Yup.

**Craig:** So let it be happening. Don’t have it just happen if that makes sense.

**John:** Yeah. Let’s talk about some of our own writing and our own opening scenes and sort of what our experience was with this. So, I’m thinking back to Chernobyl. Chernobyl if I recall correctly opens with an old woman and a cow.

**Craig:** That is how episode four or three opens.

**John:** That’s right. So it was later on. It’s not the very first image of it. What is the first image of the first episode?

**Craig:** The first image of the first episode is a couch with sort of an afghan type thing of a deer and we hear a man talking. We actually hear his voice before we ever see anything.

**John:** Yeah. And so we don’t realize at the time it’s going to be a Stuart Special. That we are setting up the past and that we’re going to be jumping back and forth.

I think the reason why I was remembering that cow scene is it’s an example of we don’t have context of who these characters are, sort of why what’s happening is happening. Are these characters going to be important? No, not really. You were just setting up sort of the question of that episode and that world and what kind of story this episode is going to be. And I thought it just worked really well.

**Craig:** Well thank you. So every episode needs its own beginning. And so I’m pretty sure it was the beginning of episode four. It’s sad that it’s all mushing together now.

But that was designed to be a bit confusing. Because we don’t know what exactly this guy is doing there. And we’re not sure what his orders are. And we definitely aren’t sure what her deal is. And we don’t know he’s just standing there. And so this goes on. And then at the end of it we know. We know a lot. And that is kind of a standalone intro, which we didn’t do much of. And generally I don’t. But sometimes it’s OK to make this opening its own thing that announces something about the world and then we catch up to the people that we know and care about.

And we think, oh, did they know that they’re in a world where that other thing is happening?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So certainly one way to go.

**John:** So, completely analogous situation is the opening of the Charlie’s Angels movie.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**John:** So, of course, again, you’re establishing a place, and a time, and a world, except that it’s in a very candy-colored, we’re in a plane and we see all these characters. We see LL Cool J is the first recognizable star that we see. And there’s clearly some sort of heist thing happening. And it’s only as the sequence plays on that we realize like, oh, the Angels were actually part of this the entire time and this is an elaborate sequence to get this terrorist off this plane before he does something dastardly.

That sequence was important to establish the tone and feeling of this movie. And sort of what the rules are of this movie. And the heightened kind of gravity-optional nature of this movie. And sort of what it’s going to feel like to watch this movie.

So nothing that actually happens in that becomes important for the plot. It’s just introducing you to who the Angels are in a very general sense. The fact that they could kind of go into slow motion at any point if it’s glamorous. And just kind of how it feels. And it was one of the only sequences that made it all the way through from very early, before I came onboard to the movie, through to the end because it just felt like a good, goofy, fun start to this franchise.

**Craig:** With a punchline. I always feel like your openings need punchlines. And it’s weird to say like, OK, the punchline of the opening of the first episode of Chernobyl is a man hangs himself, but that’s kind of the punchline in the sense of there’s a surprise end. Similarly the old woman and the cow you’re pretty sure that soldier is going to shoot her and he doesn’t shoot her. He shoots the cow. Punchline.

You need to land something surprising. If you can, then the additional benefit you get from your opening is you’re putting the audience on alert that you are one step ahead of them so far. So, this is a good thing now. They’re leaning in. They’re trying to see what comes next. But they are also aware that you’re not just going to feed them straight up stuff, which is good.

**John:** The most difficult opening sequence I ever did was Big Fish. And I’m trying to establish so many things. I’m establishing two different worlds. A real world and a story world. That there are two protagonists and that both of them have storytelling power. So getting through those first eight pages of Big Fish and sort of setting up the storytelling dynamic of Big Fish was really, really tough, yet crucial. That was the case where like if I didn’t have that opening sequence the movie just couldn’t have worked because you wouldn’t know what to follow and what to pay attention to.

**Craig:** This is kind of high anxiety time. I like that you care – I think sometimes when I read these scripts, and we’ve said I think the word “precious real estate” or phrase a thousand times. You need to nail it. You’ve got to make that opening fascinating so that the audience says I will keep watching. If it’s just kind of meh then, I mean, you could have done anything there. The moment you have an opening you have limited what can come next. There’s a narrow possibility for what comes next.

**John:** You build a funnel. Yeah.

**Craig:** You make a funnel. A logical funnel. But not in the beginning. In the beginning there’s no funnel. You can do anything. And if you don’t do anything interesting I don’t see why people would think, well, this will get better. It won’t.

**John:** No. And weirdly it is probably the scene or sequence that as writers we spend the most time looking at just because by nature we’re going to kind of end up rereading it and sort of tweaking it a zillion times. And I do wonder if sometimes, let’s talk process here, at what point do you figure out that opening scene versus figuring out everything else in your story?

Sometimes I think the best approach would be to figure out where your story overall wants to go before you write that opening scene. Because so often you can be sort of trapped in that opening scene and love that opening scene but it’s not actually doing the best job possible establishing the rest of the things you want to do in your story.

**Craig:** 100%. If you do know what your end is. It would be lovely if you had that in mind when you wrote your beginning. Certainly I did when I did Chernobyl because it works like Pink Floyd’s The Wall album. It begins with I think it’s maybe David Gilmore saying, “Where we came in,” and then the song starts and then that album happens. And then at the very end you hear him say, “Isn’t this where?” And so you go, ah, ah-ha, in a very Pink Floyd cool way. I see what you did there, Pink Floyd.

And I like that. I like the sense that you catch up. And you complete the circle. It doesn’t have to be temporal like that. It can just be commentary. It can be somebody’s face ending in a similar position to how it began.

Here’s an example. Social Network. Opening scene, fantastic. And down to nothing but dialogue and performance. Two people sitting and talking. That’s it. Excellently written and excellently performed and excellently shot. And at the very, very end of the movie he goes back to looking at that girl’s profile on Facebook. She is not mentioned. Or referred to at any other time. It’s just the beginning and then the end. And then you go, oh man, this guy.

And so that’s how you can kind of think about these things. The beginning is the end, the end is the beginning. Know them both. It will help you define that opening scene much, much more sharply.

**John:** Cool. And now as we look at Three Page Challenges going forward let’s also try to remember to ask that question in terms of like what movie do we think this opening scene is setting up. Because that’s really kind of a fundamental question. We’ve talked so much about how those first three pages, that first opening scene is so crucial to getting people to read more of your script. But let’s also be thinking about what movie we think is actually establishing because we have strong expectations off the start of that.

So just a note for ourselves. We will try to think about how those opening scenes are setting our expectation for the rest of the movie that we’re not reading.

**Craig:** I think that tees us up nicely for a Three Page Challenge next week.

**John:** Yeah. We’ll try to do it. All right, next up we got a question from Stuart Friedel, former Scriptnotes producer. Do you want to read Stuart’s question?

**Craig:** Stuart, aw, writes–

**John:** We love Stuart.

**Craig:** “I just got a check in the mail from the WGA for foreign royalties for two episodes of Vampirina that I wrote. It’s the first time I’ve ever gotten anything like this. It was made out to me, not my S-Corp,” his loan-out corporation, “through which I got paid for these episodes originally. And the show is Animation Guild, not WGA. Is this normal? What’s going on here?”

John, is this normal?

**John:** It is both normal and weird. So writers get these checks all the time. But it’s not normal WGA residuals. It’s a whole special thing that I actually had to look up again because I remember it and then I forget and then I remember it and then I forget it.

**Craig:** I think we’ve done a run-through on the show at some point. It was probably years ago.

**John:** Stuart has listened to every episode, so Stuart should have known.

**Craig:** All right.

**John:** But we’ll give a brief recap here. So foreign levies are the fees that some foreign countries, largely European countries, they collect and they’re mean to compensate the rights holders when films or TV are broadcast or copied in things.

I remember originally it was like blank VHS tapes and blank DVDs, there was like a tax put on those thing.

**Craig:** Oh yeah, still. In fact probably the largest chunk of the foreign levies we collect are feed levied on blank disc media, disc drives. So basically the theory, it’s a lot of South American countries, too. The theory is that people are going to use blank media to copy things and watch them again. The artist should be compensated for that, but we don’t know how many times they’re watching things. So we’ll just tax the things that let them do that.

It’s a fascinating sort of thing to do. And we are not the authors of stuff here. But we are there. And that’s where it gets fun.

**John:** Yeah. It’s where it gets complicated. So under US law we tend to write these things as work-for-hire. So, we sort of pretend that the studios are the authors of the properties. But many of the countries say like, no, no, that’s actually not true. It’s the writers and the directors who are the authors. And so it became this big fight. And so in the show notes we’ll link to the history of how foreign levies came to be and how the DGA and the WGA came to collect that money. It’s fascinating and complicated. And there was a lawsuit about how the money was being distributed out.

But, the answer for Stuart is that the foreign countries are sending in that money and it is the WGA’s responsibility and the DGA’s responsibility to figure out who those people are and get the checks out to them. And so that’s a thing they do.

**Craig:** It’s not based on union work. So, the rest of the world does not have work-for-hire and they have moral rights of authors. So, France collects this money and then they turn to us and say we would like to give this to the moral – the moral authors of this movie, which we consider to be the writer and the director. And over here the studios are like but there’s no moral author. We’re the author. And so France said, nah, we’re not going to give it to you then.

And so then we had to hammer out some deal. The split between us and the studios did adjust over time. It’s been a while. It should be 100% us. So, will continue to have to broker that somehow. But then this other issue happens where they say, well, OK the WGA steps up and says we will collect all this. The other countries say, “Uh, just one thing, we’re not breaking this out by who is in your union and who is not in your union because we don’t care. We’re just going to send it all to you and you distribute it.”

And so now the WGA has this interesting situation where they’re collecting money on behalf of people that aren’t members, like for instance in this case while Stuart Friedel is the member of the Writers Guild they’re collecting money for him that he earned through the Animation Guild. Here’s another fun fact. We collect a ton of foreign levies from porn.

**John:** Hmm.

**Craig:** So we have to find the porn directors and writers. And that is kind of how we did it. We just agreed that we would do this. And for that there is some fee, of course, some sort of administrative fee that the Writers Guild takes. This has been litigated. Members of the Writers Guild have sued over it. Other people have sued over it. It was sort of like incredibly hot potato in the 2000s and has since ceased to be that hot potato. It’s now just kind of this passive stream of money that shows up in a brown envelope, or on a brown check instead of a green check.

**John:** Yeah. So to date the WGA West has distributed $246 million in foreign levies, and including $37 million to non-members and beneficiaries.

**Craig:** Ah, yes, that’s the other thing. If someone is dead–

**John:** They still get it.

**Craig:** They have to give it to whoever controls the estate.

**John:** Yeah. So right now there’s a little bit over $9 million that can’t be matched to writers and directors. And so we’ll put a link in the show notes. There’s a way you can search for like, oh, am I owed foreign levies. And so they try to match up those funds. But it’s possible that some money will just never go to the place it’s actually supposed to go, or to the person it’s supposed to go to. So, based on the settlement at a certain point that money, if there’s any money left over, goes to the Actor’s Fund which we’ve talked about before is the charity that supports the industry.

**Craig:** Correct. And that number, $9 million, sounds high. It’s not. It used to be much higher. There was a point where it was like at $25 million. It was becoming a real liability. You can’t just sit on $25 million of other people’s money and not do something about it. So the guild has actually made really good progress on that front. My guess is that’s probably as low as it’s going to be, because there’s always going to be some stuff that comes – it’s really hard sometimes to understand these – you have governments sending you lists of taxation based on their information. Sometimes it’s not complete.

**John:** Yeah. It’s going to happen. All right. This last week I was listening to an episode of 99 Percent Invisible, and this one was one megaplexes. It was about sort of how everything changed when AMC opened up the Grand 24 in Dallas. And I realize we’ve talked about exhibition before on the show, but I think we’ve never talked about our experiences of going to the movies and sort of when movie theaters changed.

And for people who are younger than us they probably don’t remember clearly a time before megaplexes and before stadium seating and sort of what that life was like, but we saw both sides of it. So I thought we’d spend a few minutes talking about our experience with that. And also the podcast episode, which was trying to make the point that the physical changes of theaters actually had a big impact on sort of what movies were getting made and then as theaters started to collapse a bit also change what movies were getting made. So I thought we’d talk about both our experience as movie goers but also what we saw happening in the industry as the exhibition itself changed.

**Craig:** I used to go see movies at the Amboy Multiplex. The Amboy Multiplex, not a megaplex like the AMC Grand 24, the Amboy Multiplex I think had eight screens which was considered insane at the time.

**John:** That was pretty big at the time. Was that the first theater you remember going to?

**Craig:** The Amboy Multiplex might have been the first multiplex. It’s in New Jersey. Well, it was. It’s no longer there. And I believe they opened in maybe ’78 or ’79. I remember for instance seeing Star Wars in just a single screen movie theater. And that was kind of what you had. The multiplex was pretty great because if you were a family my dad and I could go see Raiders of the Lost Ark and my mom and my sister could go see, you know, Max Dugan Returns or something, I don’t know. I can’t remember what was going on.

But the point is families could split up and see different things.

**John:** That was such a great point. And I had not considered it, but yes, I mean, on a single screen theater everyone is going to see the same movie and you can’t do that thing where you divide up and see different stuff starting about the same time. And that’s a huge difference. Like you’ve sold more tickets because more people can go.

**Craig:** Correct. And they also because they had that many more screens running the concessions became a massive part of it. Because now you’re not feeding the amount of people that fit into one room. You’re feeding the amount of people that fit into eight rooms. It all becomes a much bigger money maker. And you could just feel like, OK, if I’m a single movie theater and I’m showing one freaking thing, first of all if there’s a – so the blockbuster emerges out of the ‘70s out of Jaws and Star Wars.

Now, you can say we have these blockbuster films like Raiders, we can show them on more than one screen. So you’re losing money when you’re turning people away from a theater. The multiplexes didn’t have to. They said we’ll just stick it on another screen. No problem.

**John:** Now growing up in Boulder, Colorado my first experience in a theater was probably either the Base-Mar, which had two giant screens, or there was the Village 4 which were one really big screen and three smaller screens. That’s probably where I watched Star Wars. It’s where I saw 9 to 5. Or I saw a lot of early movies. I saw The Muppet Movie there.

But eventually we had – Mann built a six-pack theater with six identical size theaters and I think at about six is where you start to see some of those economies of scale. Where they can just sell more concessions. They can put the same movie on two different screens at the same time. There really are reasons they can just make more money off of things by sort of sticking a bunch of screens together.

But that was a real innovation. So, you know, the history of movie theaters were those giant sort of movie palaces that sometimes would get carved into smaller screens. But it’s still a pretty bad experience and not very efficient.

Now, something like the six-pack that I saw most of my movies in high school at that was still pre-stadium seating. When was the first time you experienced stadium seating Craig?

**Craig:** That’s a great question. I think it was when we – I’m going to say it was back in the early 2000s I remember going to a test – we were doing a test screening and it was out in like Chatsworth or something. And there was this stadium seating and I thought well this is absolutely terrible for comedies. And it is. It’s the worst. Because you laugh outwards and you basically hear yourself and some of the people behind you and that’s it.

Whereas in the old days when you were in that flat room everybody heard everybody and laughs were just so much bigger. It was like being in a comedy show. And now it’s not. Obviously it’s terrific for viewing. I get that. But I was disturbed.

And now that’s it. It’s that and nothing else.

**John:** Yeah. So younger listeners don’t have a memory of going to see movies and having to make sure you weren’t sitting behind someone taller than you. And having to look behind you to make sure you weren’t blocking somebody.

**Craig:** Yup.

**John:** And that whole experience. And what’s also surprising to folks who live in Los Angeles now is you said you went to a screening out in Chatsworth and that’s where you saw stadium seating, like LA when I moved here had the worst movie theaters.

**Craig:** Oh yeah. Bad.

**John:** We had Mann’s Chinese which was like a movie palace and just gorgeous, but it actually had terrible projection and sound.

**Craig:** Correct.

**John:** And could only show one movie at a time. It was great to see a big movie there because it was huge, but was not a good theater. And all the rest of the theaters were just terrible. They were sticky floor monstrosities. And so now we have great ones, but we were kind of late to get our great theaters.

**Craig:** It’s true. We were. And there is now a generation of parents who don’t have the joy of saying, “I can’t see!” When you would go to a theater and you would say, “I can’t see,” would your parents say some version of, “Don’t worry, when it starts you won’t even notice.” Because my parents would always say, “Oh yeah, don’t worry about it. When the movie starts you won’t even notice that that guy is blocking half of the screen.”

And they were kind of right, in a sense.

**John:** They weren’t entirely wrong. I would say because I had an older brother, it was my older brother who was mostly responsible for taking me to movies. And so he and I might switch sometimes, but that was going to be about the extent of my accommodation for my shortness growing up and going to movie theaters.

Now, let’s talk about the impact of the change in movie theaters had on the movies that were getting made, because this is a point that this podcast was trying to make and I wanted to push back against it but then I thought, OK, you know what? They actually did have a point here.

So, I remember pre-multiplexes if you wanted to see a David Cronenberg film, if you wanted to see a David Lynch film, if you wanted to see an art film you had to go to an art house movie theater. But with the rise of these bigger and bigger multiplexes it became possible to have one screen that was showing a Being John Malkovich, showing something that was – a Miramax movie. Something that was outside the realm of just the big studio blockbusters. And I think more people saw some indie movies on a big screen in their home town than would have if we hadn’t built out these multiplexes.

**Craig:** Depending on your town, I think. Obviously it’s a little easier if you’re in a city. It’s a lot easier if you’re in a city. But that’s true. And there are still theaters now that kind of pride themselves on showing you a mix of both. So the ArcLight companies for instance, they take pride in their cinematic fidelity. And part of that is not only sound and picture, but that you can see a Spider-Man film and you can also see a Jim Jarmusch movie and that’s kind of their thing.

But over time I think the big megaplexes, the AMCs, and whatever the Regal Cinemas or whatever they’re called, they’ve really adapted to the way that studios have changed, because studios used to put out a movie every week or two. And now they put out a movie every month and a half. Maybe. And what that means is that movie is just steroided-out. It’s the equivalent of the Butterball Turkey. It can barely stand on its own legs because it has been steroided and fed for size.

And now everybody has been like, oh my god, we’ve got to go see The Avengers 7, and so Jesus put it on all 28 of your screens. And so then these movie theaters kind of become like The Avengers’ movie theater for four weeks.

**John:** Now even the ArcLight which can still hold some screens for the smaller movies, but Spider-Man is going to be on eight of the 14 screens. Which can be good for an audience because it means I can actually see something opening weekend. And I do definitely appreciate that. The frustration of not being able to see a thing that you want to see is a thing. And not be part of the cultural conversation about the thing. It is great to be able to see things opening weekend and I look forward to being able to see things opening weekend as theaters start to reopen.

But, I don’t know, the anticipation was part of the experience as well. And I remember before there was reserved seating having to line up and get there in time to sort of get your seat. Yes, it was a hassle, but it also was part of the experience of going to see the movies.

**Craig:** It was communal. But another shot has been fired. It was fired yesterday. Another shot across the bow of the way movies are released and seen. And that shot was Zack Snyder’s Justice League.

**John:** Yeah. Let’s talk about that.

**Craig:** So, Zack Snyder shot Justice League. He was in the middle of editing and working on it and then there was a family tragedy and he had to stop. So, the studio brought in Joss Whedon. I assume just to sort of finish and Joss Whedon was like, ah-ha, how about instead of finishing I just redo most of this.

And so he did. And it was a different movie. And people did not like it. And for many, many years there’s been this clamoring for the Zack Snyder cut. Now, I’m going to tell you something I’ve never mentioned before on this podcast.

**John:** Tell us.

**Craig:** I saw the Zack Snyder cut back when he was working on it. Because they were talking about maybe doing a week or reshoots or something like that. And so he invited two or three – I think there were three or four of us, writers, to watch the movie in the state it was in and then just have a conversation about some things that they might be able to do to tweak some things up over the course of a week of writing.

And I, you know me, I’m not like a huge superhero movie guy, but I really liked it. I liked it. I thought it was really good. I thought there were a couple things, like OK here’s some suggestions and things. And then Zack left the project. And so that was it. Literally, I think he left like the next week. And I never saw the Joss Whedon version.

But all this time while there was this fan movement for the Zack, there was like a mythologizing that the Zack Snyder cut was going to be amazing and it was going to save that movie. And a lot of people are like why would you think that? And I quietly was sort of like but it’s really good actually, like I hope that that does happen. But I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to be in the news. Because people are obsessed with this stuff.

Well, I watched it last night and it’s fascinating. First of all, it is good. I really enjoyed it. It’s four hours.

**John:** Now, was the movie you watched previously four hours long?

**Craig:** It was probably three-ish. I think he went and shot some additional material. In fact, I know he shot additional material because there’s like an entire sequence at the end that wasn’t there when I saw the film. And there was a bunch of things that I think he went and reshot and did some work on.

But by and large, yeah, the movie was the movie I saw. Except like finished and good. And what I find fascinating – and people have received it very well. It has been reviewed very well and people are enjoying it. And I think this is a new kind of thing now. Everybody is going to stop and go wait a second, so now we can do these like really long experiences and people will watch them on streaming.

And that is a new challenge to what movies had become, which was we’re going to give you the 2.5 hour extravaganzas. And now people are like, “Or, give us four hours.”

**John:** Four hours at home.

**Craig:** At home. And this is interesting now.

**John:** So, I have a counterpoint for you. We can wrap up the sequence with the counterpoint example of another superhero epic, the last Avengers movie. We’ll put a link in the show notes to the fan reaction to the arrival of the other superheroes at the end of Avengers.

**Craig:** Yeah, it’s great.

**John:** And to hear, I mean, you’re not seeing the audience, you’re just hearing the audience and the audience’s reaction to what happens at the end there is a great reminder of sort of why the communal movie theater experience is so different and so vital.

You talk about test screenings with a comedy and how a comedy plays with a crowd, well this isn’t a comedy but the cheering you hear and the feeling you get off of people’s reaction to it is just so different and so dynamic and it’s a thing you’re never going to get in streaming obviously.

**Craig:** Correct. And I don’t think that we’re going to lose that big movie experience, meaning I think movies will return. But, I also think that there may be room now for this other thing, which is the mega-movie, gig-a-movie. You see like say Avengers, the final one, and then two years later you see this four hours version of it, where all this other stuff is happening. Some of which was cut out. And some of it is just new. Like you can keep making those movies.

**John:** Yeah. I would say basically the whole Marvel canon in a way does feel like it is already kind of there. It’s this epic movie that just sort of keeps going. It’s like a series that just keeps going and there’s always a new installment, a new chapter. And WandaVision feels like it’s a six to eight hour Marvel movie that’s in the middle of it. So, it’s exciting.

**Craig:** Yeah. We’ll see where it goes.

**John:** But let’s wrap this up and talk about the megaplex experience because theaters kept getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and nicer, and nicer, and nicer, and I’ll be curious to see what happens next with the theater experience. And assuming we get back to just butts in seats and people are watching things, you know, I think this may give an opportunity for closing off those less performing locations and focusing on building good new theaters.

Sometimes when there is a crisis people can sort of cull things off their sheets in ways that is useful. Like Alamo Drafthouse filed for bankruptcy but I don’t think Alamo Drafthouse I will go away. I think it will just reorganize.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, bankruptcy doesn’t mean you go out of business, it just means you’re taking a pause to pay your creditors back because you need time. And, yeah, I don’t romanticize small movie theaters with terrible projection and awful sound. I think the trend towards making a movie theater more like your living room will continue. So you’ll have the lazy chair style seating and reserved seating. Ticket prices will go up.

If movie studios purchase large theater chains, and I think they’re sitting back and waiting. If theater experience comes roaring back I think we’ll see that. And then at that point you’re going to get to variable pricing on tickets. All sorts of things are going to happen.

But the theater business was remarkably stable, as much as everybody kept screaming about it, ticket sales were insanely stable for decades. And now all bets are off. I have no idea what happens now.

**John:** But, whatever does happen, MoviePass is going to be part of it. Because MoviePass is coming back. And when there’s an update we’ll see what that is. But they announced that they’re coming back, so in some version there’s going to be a MoviePass out there.

**Craig:** [laughs] Man, I’ll tell you. I want to give us a pat on the back for that, but I can’t. It was so obviously ridiculous.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Oh lord.

**John:** You know I’m not joking? MoviePass has announced – MoviePass really is coming back in some version.

**Craig:** What? I’m sorry, no. What? Oh no.

**John:** Who knows what it’ll be. But the MoviePass account is suddenly active again. So something is happening.

**Craig:** So MoviePass is going to come back and they’re like, OK, new deal. You pay us $80 and we let you see one movie.

**John:** Craig, it will involve the block chain in some way.

**Craig:** Oh god.

**John:** Yup.

**Craig:** [Unintelligible].

**John:** Craig, it’s time for our One Cool Things. Before we get to your One Cool Thing, I’ve been asked by Megana for an update on your Upstep insoles. How are your insoles going?

**Craig:** Now, Megana, are you asking because you are also interested in some foot support?

**Megana Rao:** No. But as I was listening to the episode I was just like I wonder how that’s going.

**Craig:** I like that you’re just generally interested in my foot health.

**Megana:** The anticipation from all of that unboxing.

**Craig:** OK. It has worked great. They fit perfectly and they are very comfortable. They do this thing that all kind of orthotic inserts do which is they squeak. So when I walk it’s wah-wah-wah. I think over time that will probably stop.

**John:** Well WD40 should help.

**Craig:** Exactly. That’s what you want in your shoes. But, yeah, they work great. And they are experientially identical to the ones tht cost way more that you’d have to go to the doctor for. So, I give a big thumb’s up to the Upstep insoles.

**John:** And don’t forget to use the promo code “umbrage” at checkout to save 15%.

**Craig:** CraigsFootHealth49. Yeah, I just did an ad for Upstep and I’m not getting paid.

**John:** Weird. Weird that.

**Craig:** God, my streak of not getting paid on this show continues.

**John:** Yeah. What’s your real One Cool Thing?

**Craig:** You know what? Let’s make it that. It’s really good.

**John:** Craig wasn’t prepared.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** My One Cool Thing, I was a guest on another podcast this last week which I think many of our listeners would really enjoy, like the podcast overall. My episode sure, but this is the Screenwriting Life Podcast. It’s by Meg LeFauve and Lorien McKenna. They do it weekly. They are up to episode 35 right now, so it’s going to stick around for a while. What I really dig about their podcast is it’s very much just about talking through the writing that you’re doing each week and what the highs and the lows were. And it’s very much the emotional process of it all. So, we had a good interview and I’m sure all their interviews are great. But I really enjoyed how the two of them just talked about the work they were doing on a regular basis.

Now, Craig, you and I have referred previously on the show to you and I sort of write in our little bubbles and we just do our own writing. We don’t sort of share and don’t talk about stuff. But we have friends, especially women friends, who are involved in each other’s writing a lot. And I’ve always been really envious of that and I really appreciate the way they can just focus on what the experience is of writing on a daily basis. And so especially for aspiring writers who are listening to this I think just check out them and their advice because I really think you’ll enjoy that show.

**Craig:** It’s got to be mentally healthier than what I do, which is just curl up in a ball and shiver with fear and self-loathing. Right? It’s got to be healthier than that?

**John:** And play some videogames.

**Craig:** Oh yean. And D&D.

**John:** And D&D.

That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro is by Peter Hoopes. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions, but for short questions on Twitter I’m @johnaugust. I might be able to answer your question.

We have t-shirts. They’re lovely. You can find them at Cotton Bureau.

You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter called Inneresting which has lots of links to things about writing.

You can sign up to become a premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments. Craig, thank you for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** All right, Craig, we got a question from Julie in Copenhagen. Can you read Julie in Copenhagen’s question?

**Craig:** Indeed. She writes, “I’m currently writing my master thesis in film and media studies focusing on the meaning and use of clichés and genre conventions in Danish youth dramedy television series. I have interviewed Danish screenwriters, critics, and two focus groups of the target audience to hear how they define and feel about clichés.

“But there doesn’t seem to be a clear cut definition of what a cliché is and how it differs from genre conventions, or what the relationship is between conventions and clichés.”

Well, this is a question that is universal. It travels beyond the borders of Denmark.

**John:** Absolutely. Even places without Lego, they have clichés.

**Craig:** Correct.

**John:** So, let’s talk about that, because as she raised the question I was trying to sort through what I felt is a cliché versus what is a genre convention.

And so I went to Wikipedia to look at their definition of cliché which is pretty good. They say, “A cliché is an element of an artistic work, saying, or idea that has become overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even to the point of being trite or irritating, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel.” And I think that last clause is really important there because a cliché didn’t start as a cliché. A cliché probably started as something relatively clever or sort of clever or at least new. But just through overuse it’s not that anymore and it just feels terrible. It’s an idea that doesn’t know that it’s busted.

**Craig:** Right. Yeah. I think that is a valuable way to discriminate between the two. I would say, Julie, that clichés are specific things that put your teeth on edge because you’re like, uh, it’s mean to make me smile, laugh, or be shocked or something and it’s not because it’s just unoriginal. Conventions are things that just keep showing up. They’re not demanding a lot of attention. They’re just sort of baked into the structure or concept.

So, for instance a convention of a space opera is a dogfight between spaceships shooting lasers at each other. That’s just a convention.

**John:** Yeah, not a cliché. So clichéd moments can happen during it, but the idea of a space battle, fine.

**Craig:** Exactly. So, like a cliché is someone gets shots a laser into my X-Wing and I go, “I’m hit, I’m hit.” That’s a cliché. It’s like, oh, what an original moment. But the existence of the convention of the space dogfight could actually be good.

So, there was like some really cool stuff that Rian did in The Last Jedi. It’s a convention, but inside of that convention original and interesting things happen. Please don’t @ me, because I like that movie. I don’t care.

So, I would say that like in zombie movies the convention is that a lot of people are zombies and a group of people who are not zombies need to get away from them. But inside of that there could be a ton of clichés. A ton of little moments that you’ve seen a billion, billion times.

**John:** Yeah. So trying to save someone’s life in an extreme situation can be a genre convention. There’s military versions of trying to save a person’s life, like doing CPR on a person. That is a convention. That’s great. We get it. Saying, “Don’t die on me,” that is a cliché. There’s no version of “don’t die on me” that will not be a cliché. And it will ring the bells.

And the first time a character said that it was great. But then the fourth time a character said that it’s like, ugh, that’s not fresh. We know it’s not fresh. And that not fresh feeling is really what makes something a cliché.

**Craig:** That not so fresh feeling.

**John:** An example of good genre conventions, we have vampires, we have vampires drinking blood. There’s lots of things about vampires that are genre conventions that are good, sort of come for free. But the vampire flourishing his cape in front of his face that’s just a cliché. You feel like you’re in Count Chocula territory when you do that.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** So you’ve got to be mindful of that.

**Craig:** Yes. So, a vampire speaking with a vaguely Romanian accent is sort of cliché. It’s not a convention, because vampires can be anywhere. And that’s sort of the deal. Conventions in and of themselves aren’t bad. You can absolutely do something and be unconventional in the way you do it. But you will find just as often that there are vampire conventions that are turned around because they are executed in a way that is not cliché.

So, I think we talked about Near Talk at some point.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** Kathryn Bigelow’s first film.

**John:** So good.

**Craig:** So good. A ton of vampire conventions in there. Sun burns you and you’ve got to drink blood. And there’s a lead vampire. But the execution, the setting, the tone, all that stuff, clearly she avoided cliché every step of the way and it’s one of the reasons that the film feels so exciting even though it’s full of vampire conventions.

**John:** So here’s a convention I want to throw your way. You’re in a western and there is a hooker a heart of gold. Is that a cliché or a convention?

**Craig:** I think it’s a cliché because the convention I always think of is connected to plot, setting, the inciting incident, the goal, that sort of thing. So a convention would be a bunch of unlikely allies in a western have to make it from one town to another while being pursued by bad buys. Well, if you are doing Stagecoach, well there’s the hooker with the heart of gold. That’s fine. It was 1930-whatever. But these days you wouldn’t do that. Because it is cliché.

You would want the individual characters to feel fresh even inside of the convention of it all. So in The Hateful Eight there’s a lot of western convention in there. But then these characters are just, whoa. Not clichéd characters.

**John:** So I would steer listeners to TV Tropes which is a great site which sort of goes through in any genre what are the clichés and conventions. And so you have to be careful to read through this to not assume that anything you see there is by default a thing you need to avoid. A lot of those things are just part of the genre. So you have to sort of understand what everyone sort of accepts as an audience and what things are hackneyed or stale.

And so you have to be a student of what’s happened in that genre before in order to avoid those clichés.

**Craig:** Yeah. So if you’re doing a romantic comedy you will want to fulfill certain conventions of the genre, most likely. But you’re going to want to avoid the cliché ways of getting them across. A girl meets a man. Girl meets a boy. Boy meets a girl. Boy meets a boy. Man meets a man. Whatever it is, then you don’t want them bumping into each other in the middle of the street and one person dropping all their stuff and the other person saying, “Oh let me help you pick that up,” and then they look in each other’s eyes and go, “Ah!” because that’s cliché.

But you’re going to want them to meet.

**John:** Yeah. They do have to meet at some point.

**Craig:** That’s the challenge. Do the convention. But be original.

**John:** And Tess Morris has been on the show to talk about rom-coms. And like, yes, again it’s always about understanding the conventions while avoiding the clichés.

We’ll put a link in the show notes to a video essay talking through the makeover sequence, the makeover montage. And that transformation of essentially the female character in one of these stories and how troubling it is and how we really need to look at that sequence and think about what it is we’re trying to say through those sequences.

**Craig:** We’re trying to say that if you’re pretty you’re valuable, and if you’re not you’re not.

**John:** There’s that.

**Craig:** That’s pretty much what those movies are telling everybody as far as I can tell. That until you are physically attractive by some normative definition you’re worthless and a loser. And I say that as somebody who has never been attractive in any normal sort of way. I’ve always been like but my face is weird. What about me?

**John:** Aw. Craig.

**Craig:** Oh, Craig.

**John:** Thanks.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

**John:** Bye.

Links:

* [WGA Parental Leave](https://www.wga.org/members/membership-information/new-paid-parental-leave-benefit-details) begins May 2!
* [Learn more about foreign levies](https://www.wga.org/the-guild/levies-payments/foreign-levies-program/history)
* [99 Percent Invisible Podcast Episode: The Megaplex](https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-megaplex/)
* [We’ve Outgrown the Ugly Duckling Transformation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa4bR5ZO3dM) by Mina Le on Youtube
* [TV Tropes](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VampireTropes) – Vampires
* [Listener Guide Submissions](https://johnaugust.com/guide) send in your favorite episodes from 300-500!
* [Check out the Screenwriting Life Podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-screenwriting-life-with-meg-lefauve-and-lorien-mckenna/id1501641442) and this episode with [John!](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/35-john-august-on-worldbuilding-in-your-writing/id1501641442?i=1000512898141)
* [Upstep](https://app.upstep.com) – the review is positive!
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Peter Hoopes ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/493standard1.mp3).

Scriptnotes, Episode 492: Gray Areas, Transcript

March 26, 2021 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2021/gray-areas).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 492 of Scriptnotes. A podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Often on this program we talk about the difficult choices characters have to make. Today I want to explore the dilemmas that screenwriters encounter in the business with a mix of listener questions and things you and I are grappling with at this very moment.

We’ll also be looking at writer websites, international guilds, and hassles when joining the WGA.

**Craig:** Ooh, the only hassle I remember was that they suddenly made me pay money I didn’t have.

**John:** Yeah, there’s that. There’s also more stuff.

**Craig:** Oh, OK.

**John:** And in our bonus segment for premium members it’s time for an origin story. You and I will travel back to the moment we decided to become screenwriters.

**Craig:** Oh, OK. Fun.

**John:** And I had to think about what that moment or those moments were and you can share it with our premium members at the end of this episode.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** Cool. At the head of the program I said this is Episode 492. That means eight episodes away is Episode 500.

**Craig:** Good lord.

**John:** You and I have barely discussed what we should do for Episode 500 except that the idea of doing a big, live show with an audience seems a little premature.

**Craig:** I don’t know, John. Let’s kill them all.

**John:** [laughs] Let’s kill them all.

**Craig:** What a way to go out.

**John:** Absolutely. So, you have to have a proof of vaccination and then you come to our live – it’s too soon for that.

**Craig:** It’s too soon. Also, I mean, look, it’s 500. Seems like a good round number. We can just chuck it, right? We just wrap it up?

**John:** You know what? Maybe we should just wrap it up. And it has got me thinking about Episode 1. So let’s take a listen back to Episode 1 and see what Episode 1 sounded like. Because I don’t think you’ve probably heard any of this since–

**Craig:** Since Episode 1.

**John:** No.

Hello. Welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig:** And I’m Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is the inaugural edition of something we’re calling Scriptnotes, which is meant to be a podcast talking about things that screenwriters might be interested in.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** What would those be?

**Craig:** Ah, you know, we can cover craft, the business, the union, psychology.

**John:** Work habits, too. Sort of like how you actually get stuff written.

**Craig:** Yeah. And topics for people who are working steadily, people who aren’t working steadily, people who want to work steadily.

**John:** Dig deeping. Dig deeping things?

**Craig:** You said dig deeping.

**John:** Dig deeping.

**Craig:** Please don’t edit that out. [laughs]

**John:** I will leave my misspoken terms right in there, unedited. But I wanted to start with a question because I figure, you know…

Oh, Craig, nothing has changed.

**Craig:** In a sense nothing has changed. You still do say things like “dip deeping” and I still have that stupid laugh. And other than that, good lord, we were children. First of all, it’s clear that I had no idea what a podcast was. You could hear it in my voice. You could hear it.

**John:** No sense.

**Craig:** But I still don’t know.

**John:** And still the brief we laid out in terms of the things we would be talking about on this program we’ve remained remarkably true to what our initial instinct was for what this podcast should be.

**Craig:** Let’s clarify. What your instinct was.

**John:** That’s true. And so while we didn’t have all the lingo down right in terms of like “things that are interesting to screenwriters,” that wasn’t quite right. We didn’t have our intro bloops yet. We were still using the CBS theme music as our intro stuff.

**Craig:** So good though. Makes me so happy when I hear that.

**John:** I can picture it. I feel like something exciting is happening at CBS right now.

**Craig:** I’m sitting in front of a large – and when I say large I mean small cube of a television. Remember when you would turn it on it would take a while for it to come on? It had to warm up.

**John:** Got to warm up the television. So nearly 500 episodes ago, but it’s also almost ten years. So I would propose that what we would really do is like we’ll go through Episode 500, fine. Episode 500 we’ll celebrate it in its own small way. But we’ll think about doing something for our 10th anniversary which would be August 30th of this year. It would be ten years of Scriptnotes. And I feel like August – something will be possible to do in August.

**Craig:** Well, I will be in another country. So, there is that.

**John:** That’s a challenge.

**Craig:** But, you know what? Maybe we’ll have a big Calgary show.

**John:** Yeah. A big Calgary show.

**Craig:** It’s not a big town, but if I can convince enough Calgarians to show up right off the bat.

**John:** Some sort of rodeo fair ground.

**Craig:** At the Stampede. They’re probably angry that I’ve called them Calgarians because I doubt that’s what they are. I’ve already blown it. They may run me out of town on a rail.

**John:** So let us lower people’s expectations for 500 episodes and raise them for the 10th anniversary to unrealistic heights for what we’re going to do. But, a thing you as listeners can do in the meantime is at Episode 300 we put out this listener guide saying like hey tell us what your favorite episodes are of the first 300. We are updating that now for the first 500. So, if you want to point to suggestions of like these are the best episodes if someone is new to Scriptnotes go to johnaugust.com/guide and let us know what are the best episodes, especially episodes between 300 and 500, which ones stand out for you.

**Craig:** Did I say Calgarians?

**John:** Yeah, you did.

**Craig:** Guess what? That’s right.

**John:** That’s right?

**Craig:** That’s right. I got it right.

**John:** Sometimes you guess correctly.

**Craig:** The thing is I don’t know why I was nervous because they’re very polite. People in Canada are worldwide renowned for their politeness. And I’m sure they would have just said, oh, you know, that’s not what we’re called but we accept you.

But I did call them – it’s Calgarians. Why would I have – how did I get there? Anyway, sorry. Here’s what’s happening as we approach Episode 500 I begin to ramble more and more.

**John:** Yeah. And Matthew has to keep cutting you back shorter and shorter. Those early episodes I was cutting everything myself. And so I think part of the reason why I became less of a terrible speaker is because I had to edit myself so much and I did not want to edit myself and so therefore I learned to just speak more clearly the first time through.

**Craig:** Right. Well you do an excellent job. I think the two of us have defined what excellence is for this show. We have self-defined it. We didn’t copy anyone.

**John:** Nope.

**Craig:** Clearly.

**John:** We made it up as we were going along.

**Craig:** Correct. 500.

**John:** Another bit of housekeeping here. So people write in with questions or stories or things they want to share to the podcast and this last week Paige Feldman wrote into the ask account. And I read it and I said like, you know what, this would actually be a better blog post, so I asked her if we could post as a blog post and I did.

So she wrote about how screenwriting competitions are incredibly expensive. And so that instead of entering all these screenwriting competitions she normally would have entered she saved that money and then used it to fund an audio podcast version of her script. And that it was a much better use of her time and her money. So, I would point everyone to Paige’s example in terms of rather than spending the entry fee on a screenwriting competition there’s probably a better way to spend your money and your time.

**Craig:** I totally agree.

**John:** But what I liked about Paige is that she showed the initiative to just put her money and her time to better use. So whether you do what she does in terms of making an audio drama, just find something else to do with your time and your money other than a screenwriting competition.

**Craig:** I think there may be a chance that in Episode 1 of Scriptnotes, from which you just played an excerpt, I may have said something like screenwriting shouldn’t cost money. And here I am nearly 500 episodes later saying screenwriting should not cost money. I don’t think I spent a dime. And I don’t think anybody needs to.

You can. And there are certain ways to spend money I suppose smarter than others. But you don’t have to. And I love the way that she was entrepreneurial here. And I like the fact that she took a sober look at screenwriting contests. Because, John, I’ve got to say looking around how many of us, when I say us I mean screenwriters who are sort of safely ensconced in a career, how many of us got into this by winning a contest?

**John:** Almost none of us.

**Craig:** Ehren Kruger I think.

**John:** Yeah. You could probably point to some folks who won the Nicholl Fellowship, which I think we’ve said probably from Episode 1 is the only one that kind of–

**Craig:** Kind of super matters.

**John:** Clearly is worth winning. Yeah.

**Craig:** But even then it is not in and of itself – it’s a bit like the SAT. Congrats on your excellent SAT score. It’s not actually a predictor of success.

**John:** No. Not a bit. Well let’s keep talking about money. So last week on the podcast we talked about writer deals. Would you read what Lisa wrote in?

**Craig:** Sure. She’s wondering, “Can you speak to production bonuses and how those are calculated in deals? In 2019 I signed my first screenwriting contract with one of the major streamers. It’s a multi-step deal and I was ecstatic at the numbers because I’d never made such a large sum of money in my life before. However, after listening to the episode on deals and looking at the WGA’s screen deal guide I was shocked to discover I was earning $50,000 under the median for new screenwriters with multi-step deals.

“Then again my contract does include a production bonus which guarantees me another six figure check on the other side of production. If I take the production bonus into account does that mean I’m overall earning over the median? Or are production bonuses pretty standard in screenwriting contracts and I’m actually earning under the median?”

John, this is an excellent question.

**John:** It’s an excellent question. So Lisa first off congratulations on setting up that project at a streamer. Congratulations on having reps who fought for you to get a multi-step deal. That’s good. And you can compare on that chart like you made more money on a multi-step deal than you would have on a single one-step deal. So hooray for you.

That production bonus, that’s not included in these median figures. Because those median figures are about what you’re guaranteed to be paid. They cannot pay you any less than that. That production bonus is not a guarantee. It only happens if the project goes into production.

So, no, that money, production bonus, is important and so worthwhile, but you cannot count on getting it, so therefore you cannot really count it as income at this point.

**Craig:** That’s a great clarification. Lisa, it’s an interesting game, the production bonus game. We probably talked about this a number of times, but the way it basically works for those of you at home who don’t know is when you make a writing deal for a movie it’s blank against blank. I’m going to make $100,000 against $400,000. That means I’m guaranteed $100,000. If the movie is produced and I get sole screenwriting credit then they fill that money up to get to $400,000. So in other words they add another $300,000 on.

In the case of streamers I suspect they have a much higher rate of production than movie studios do. Movie studios used to have a terrible rate of production. They would develop ten scripts for every one they made. That number has come down quite a bit. But I still think streamers – because streamers are so voracious to produce and push out content I think there’s a fairly high rate of development to production. Doesn’t mean it’s a guarantee though. A guarantee is a guarantee. Made a guarantee, made a guarantee.

So, you can sort of think of it a little bit that way. If the number is super high than it’s a bit of a gamble. Again, this is also contingent on credit. So take a careful look at what your bonus is for shared screenplay credit. Because that typically is half of what the full credit bonus is. And you don’t know what the credit is going to be. You’re working on this now. But they may hire somebody to rewrite you. That person may rewrite you to the extent that you only get half screenplay credit. They may rewrite you so you get no screenplay credit.

And if that happens you don’t get any bonus. So, as much as you can get into guarantee the better. And I think it’s a great thing that you took a look at the screen deal guide. I think this is a conversation you should have with your agents, particularly now that you’ve made a big deal and you might want to convert that quickly into another one, which I think is generally a good idea. Talk about seeing about getting up to parity there. At a minimum. Remember, that’s the median.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Try and get more.

**John:** Also important to point out here so this report that we talked about was the WGA put this out but the WGA and the contract they formed with the studios is really about the minimums. And so all these things we’re talking about are things that are in your individual contract that are not in the overall contract. So when we say backend bonuses and that kind of stuff those are all things that your reps have negotiated for you individually. And so while we talked that there are sort of standard terms and things you kind of expect, they’re not codified in guild language.

And so that idea that you have a production bonus where it’s this amount if you get sole credit and that amount if you get shared credit, those are all negotiated points.

Also what’s negotiated in your contract is to what degree do the optional steps count against that bonus. And so every time they’re paying you for that optional rewrite, that optional polish, that may come out of your bonus. And so really what you should be looking at at that other figure is that is the most you can possibly earn in direct compensation off of writing this project.

And so, again, when you look at headlines where it’s like someone sold a project for a $4 million deal, really that’s probably the upper limit of how much they would be paid for something. It’s not what you are actually getting as the writer going into this project.

**Craig:** Yeah. The magic word there is applicable. So, in almost every circumstance all of the optional steps that are listed in your contract will be applicable against that bonus. That means, again, like John is saying whatever you earn they’re only obliged to just fill that up to get to the big number.

But, there is a term called fresh cash. It’s the best term. It’s the most magical term. That means that at some point they’re asking you to do something and you realize, look, you guys are making this movie. And I’m pretty much going to get sole screenplay credit. So if I do more work that’s applicable against the bonus it’s free. I would make the same amount if I did nothing. Therefore, you kind of need to make it “fresh cash.” That means cash that’s not applicable against the bonus.

**John:** Yeah. And so that’s if you have leverage in the project and that they want to keep you on and everybody else wants to keep you on, you may have the leverage to negotiate for that sort of point.

So I’ll point Lisa and everyone else to an episode we did where we really walked through writer deals and sort of how they work. And so you can look at the contract because it’s so important to understand that, yes, there are minimums set by the guild but everything else is in your own individual contract and knowing what that is makes a huge difference.

All right, some more follow up. Last week I talked about how I thought Disney was going to make its next trillion dollars on selling artwork and possibly through a mechanism like an NFT with the way digital art is being sold these days.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Philip wrote in to say, “If Disney earns trillions through NFTs wouldn’t it make sense for the WGA to already be aware of this and talk to writers being part of that NFT value chain with some percentage points of their work? So that if Disney makes trillions, writers make something at least, rather than be late to the party.”

And, yes. Yes, and, challenging. And so what I would say is that writers in America have classically been able to get some piece of the pie because of the intellectual property that we are creating and the sort of weird dance we do about copyright where we sort of pretend that these studios are the creators of the work. And that’s how we sort of claw back a little bit of that money.

It’s unclear to me whether an NFT fits in that copyright chain kind of at all. It’s its own weird sort of beast. And I think it’s absolutely a valid thing to be looking at. I don’t know that it’s going to be workable in the same way that merch and the guild have a weird relationship as well. So it’s challenging.

**Craig:** I think this probably would fall under merchandise. And we do have some access to merchandising money, but it is very restricted. So, first of all it’s relying on separate rights. Hopefully in our show notes we can give you a little link back to our episode where we went through all the separated rights. But let’s assume you have it. You’re writing something for Disney and you have a story credit or written by credit, which as we know is unlikely given the fact that all they seem to do is remake their animated movies. But regardless if you have that then you do actually get access to 5% of the money paid to the manufacturer for such merchandise.

So what does that mean? It means that your literary material – this is where they get you – must physically describe the object or thing being merchandised. And it has to do so in such a way that it includes specific physical attributes. And if the final product substantially follows that description than you may be entitled to money for the sales of the object.

So I know that for instance Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio kind of mixed it up with Disney over the fact that Disney was selling the Aztec coins from Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyworld. And they said, “Hey, we created the Aztec coin in our script and therefore…” And they were like, “Oh, mmm, actually we’re changing that now. It doesn’t look like the way you described it in the script. So now you get nothing.” And that’s kind of how it goes.

It’s very difficult. Getting merchandise money through the guild happens, but it’s a little bit of a Halley’s Comet. So, will the companies be more likely to want to share that with us now that that revenue stream might explode? Quite the opposite.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** They will become even more miserly about it I suspect.

**John:** I think you’re right. And I would also say in the case of Disney I think what they can commoditize through something like an NFT would be very equivalent to sort of like the pins you buy at the park. And so it’s like a character. It is an image. It is a thing. And it’s hard to say that it’s the work of the screenwriter that they’re putting out there as artwork. That’s the real challenge there.

**Craig:** If you successfully describe something in such a way that if they were to merchandise it you would get some merchandising money they would specifically not make it look like that.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** They ain’t dub.

**John:** And, again, this is a thing where in theory this could be negotiated in your individual contract.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** So Megana has provided us with a link. It was Episode 407 where we talked through understanding your contract. This is the kind of thing where you might want to do that. And I’ll say that there are properties that I’m considering doing that I actually own and control that I am thinking very seriously about like OK do I want to just pitch this as an original thing, or do I want to create some other piece of property first that can then sell? Partly it’s just so I can hold on to some of the merch a little bit more easily.

**Craig:** Yup.

**John:** So that’s a thought. I had talked about a previous One Cool Thing was Beeple who was a digital artist who I said like, oh, you should follow him on Instagram because his art is really good. The day that we’re recording this that artist, Mike Winkelmann, who is known mostly for doing one big illustration a day, and so he’d been doing it for like 5,000 days. He’d been doing an illustration a day. The most any of his artwork had sold for was $100. Today an NFT was sold through Christie’s for $69 million. So, he’s made some money on this [digital gold rush].

**Craig:** That doesn’t seem good to me.

**John:** So let’s talk some pros and cons, because it’s actually a good segue into these moral gray areas here.

**Craig:** Yeah. Seems troubling.

**John:** It does seem troubling. The whole idea of how this artwork is sort of locked down is through these chains, these block chains, that involve a tremendous amount of energy. So this idea of sort of like it’s like you’re printing a baseball card on like ivory or something. You’re actually doing terrible things to the planet to build this thing.

**Craig:** That sounds awesome, by the way. [laughs] I would by that. A Mikey Mantle rookie card in ivory. Ooh.

**John:** I love it.

**Craig:** Wonderful.

**John:** But, also it speaks to the commoditization of everything. Just the sense that things only have value if they have some digital uniqueness to them. And at the same time I’m happy for this guy to be paid money. And I’m also happy for some artist to be able to actually see value off their work in ways that they could not otherwise see it.

But, man, pros and cons here.

**Craig:** I mean, when you have somebody go from something that the general marketplace value is at $100 to something the general marketplace value is at $70 million, and that happens within months, something has gone awry. And it’s certainly not – it’s not that Mike Winkelmann somehow managed to receive a message from god and put that into digital artwork.

What’s happening is a marketplace is getting distorted. And we know that the visual art marketplace, that economy is insane. It is tulips times a billion. And it’s entirely about perceived scarcity. And also prestige. And essentially it is fueled by a factor that does not – there’s no relevance for you or for me. It is the vanity of billionaires is what it is.

And what I see here is the vanity of billionaires at work. And it would be a shame if these things started to become distorted by that. It’s almost impossible to say to somebody like Mike Winkelmann, who by all accounts is a perfectly good guy who was doing something that was fun, to say, “Oh, by the way, if you take this $70 million for one thing you did it’s going to be ‘bad.’”

You know, he’s got a family. He has dreams and stuff. Maybe he has charitable desires and he wants to redistribute that. That’s awesome. But that seems bad. And if NFTs are already doing this? Eww.

**John:** Yeah. So, a good segue into talking about gray areas and decisions and choices and things that you and I face on a daily basis. And we’ll also then lead into some questions we get from listeners about this stuff. Because so often I think on this podcast people will write in and like we’ll have clear answers. Oh, you do this thing. You don’t do this thing. Or this sucks, but here’s how it goes.

But off mic you and I often have conversations about like, ugh, this situation. Like what do we do in this situation? And there’s sort of no good answer.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** I went on a nice walk with Aline Brosh McKenna and we were talking through some of these issues yesterday as well. There’s just stuff that comes up. It’s like you sort of do the best you can. Yet you’re grappling with these things. And to the degree that we are characters in the stories of our own lives, I just want to talk about some of the things that you and I grapple with on a regular basis.

**Craig:** A great idea for a topic. It’s something that happens constantly I suspect in every job, in every industry, but there’s something about the loosey-goosey nature of this business, it comes up all the time.

**John:** Yeah. Because it’s a relationship business. It’s a question of we’re creating art that is so amorphous and so what is an idea. There’s a lot of stuff happening here. So, we’ll start with back in Episode 372 I talked about No Work Left Behind which was back when I was on the board. It was a thing I was pushing really hard. That idea of like when you go into a meeting and you don’t leave your pitch behind. You basically don’t leave written stuff after a pitch because that is problematic both for you as a writer individually but also for all writers. It sets an expectation that people should be able to get free work out of you and that your writing is essentially worthless.

And you obviously agree with this. We’ve talked about this a lot on the show. As a general principle you should not leave writing behind. Right Craig?

**Craig:** You should not leave writing behind as a general principle. Correct.

**John:** Yeah. And yet I find myself doing stuff that’s kind of like that in real life. And so here’s an example. There’s a property that I have set up. I’ve been pitching and have sort of set up. It’s not my own original IP. I control it but I didn’t create it. And getting this thing set up and trying to figure out how we’re going to do this I’ve sort of like paused the deal-making. I haven’t signed my deal because I’m not sure we can actually do it.

Technologically – it’s not the virtual sets of The Mandalorian, but it’s kind of like that. And it’s just like, god, I don’t know if we’re actually going to be able to make this thing happen. And so I wanted to see, basically just do a test and do sort of like a vertical slide to see is this actually going to be cool because I don’t want to waste my time if this is not going to be cool.

So, I ended up writing two sequences that we could actually put through a team and work on and see is this going to be cool. And it falls in this really murky area that’s somewhere between a pitch thing and actual work. And I felt weird doing it, and yet I don’t have a better solution for how do I decide if this is a thing worth my time to do.

**Craig:** Well, it’s entrepreneurial. You’ve generated it. So it’s a little different. If somebody comes to you and says, “Listen, we have an assignment and we want you to come up with some pitch,” and then leave that behind that’s different.

I do think in this case you probably have more leeway, but it’s leeway, right? I mean, the whole point of leeway is where does it stop and where does it end.

And you and I are always giving general advice. But when you talk about a specific situation general advice is only as good as general advice. General advice applied to a specific situation is typically not hugely useful. You have to take that general advice and adjust to taste. And in this situation I feel like that’s called for.

**John:** Yeah. I don’t feel guilty on a regular basis, and yet I could very easily see where my doing this could potentially lead to some other less powerful writer feeling like they are being required to send in some sort of proof of concept thing for something else that they may end up doing someplace else, or on IP that they don’t have any control over. So it’s frustrating to both be aware that I’m probably doing the right thing for me in this situation and it could also be not a good thing for the next writer down the road.

**Craig:** And this is why sometimes I struggle with the moral argument that we get a lot of times from the guild, because the moral arguments do start to fall apart in specifics. They are very good for general arguments. In specific cases they fall apart. And in fact doing the moral thing ends up just being a self-defeating pointless exercise.

And what it really comes down to is where is your heart. And it seems like your heart is in the right place here. And it is unlikely given the specificity of your situation that what you’re doing here is going to make life harder for other people. We kind of know what we’re talking about. It’s a little bit of the “I know it when I see it” rule.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** But for all of these things we are going to be discussing the pain of uncertainty. It’s a very difficult thing for everybody. It’s really difficult for some people. And sitting in your uncertainty can be really uncomfortable. And yet it is required at times.

**John:** So here’s a conversation you and I texted back and forth about. A listener wrote in with her experience working with a very well-known showrunner and saying like, “Oh my god, this was terrible. Why isn’t anybody talking about this? Have you heard anything like this?” And you and I both said uh-huh. We have about that specific showrunner and other showrunners like that showrunner.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** And my question for you was at what point do you think it will ever come to light and do we share any culpability by not speaking the name of this person?

**Craig:** I don’t know if that specific situation will come to light. I mean, over time you think probably the odds increase with every passing day. And do we share culpability? No. Because once you step into a river it’s not the same river.

The moment you say out loud this person is blankety-blank you have changed the state of everything. And it now becomes partly about you and why are you doing that. What are you trying to achieve, etc., etc. It literally changes the dynamic to the point where if your argument is if I don’t say something more people are going to get hurt, if I do say something more people are going to get hurt. And not the particular person that you’re saying this stuff about, but other people might get hurt, including the person who spoke to you.

And so there’s all this just sticky gray area stuff. It’s not as simple as like, you know, say the name. And also you and I don’t have personal work experience with that person. So, we’re kind of going – I mean, granted there sure is a lot of hearsay. But it’s hearsay to us.

**John:** Yeah. So I think about this also in context with #MeToo though. Is that you and I had heard discussion about certain people who we knew to be sort of personally abusive but didn’t know that they were actually sexual harassers and doing terrible things.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And I always think about that in terms of like two years, five years, ten years from now will it seem obvious that I should have spoken up about these things I was hearing or have tried to reach out to more people to see whether there was a consensus. And I think in this particular case on this particular person who we talked about before the answer is probably no. And yet I do wonder if that’s a rationalization for doing nothing. And the degree to which doing nothing is also a choice. And so I don’t want to sort of absolve myself of responsibility in too many situations.

**Craig:** You’re right to grill yourself and interrogate this. In the case of somebody like Harvey Weinstein I think one thing I discovered was the existence of the whisper network. So you and I are men. I don’t think we were part of the whisper network that said that Harvey Weinstein is a raper. I mean, I worked for Bob for many years and I did not know that Harvey was raping people. I knew that Bob was awful. And he was an abusive person, psychologically abusive. I received a lot of it.

But I didn’t know that that was going on. I think a lot of women were talking quietly with each other. To the extent that I can quietly talk to other people about what I know, I do. Because that feels like it’s not going to backfire into that person’s face or anyone’s face.

**John:** Well let’s talk about the talking quietly, because this is another thing that happened just this last week. There was a director who I was curious about and so I reached out to a writer who had worked with that director. And in the email to that writer I said, hey, so I’m thinking about this person, this director, what can you tell me about him. And here’s my phone number if you want to call me because you don’t want to email me.

And I find that you have to give the person that out because there’s a lot of times people will not want to have anything in print, but they will tell you honestly on a phone call. But, again, I could do that because I knew the other writer and I don’t know whether a stranger would be able to do that.

And there’s a power imbalance that is just naturally there. And so I’m trying to mindful of that while also getting through my daily working life.

**Craig:** I mean, I play this out in my head. Let’s say that I believe I know something. And I publically state this person I believe is this, this, and this. Inevitably within minutes somebody else is going to say, “No. That person is not that. I have more experience with that person than you do. You’re a liar. And I’ve heard the following about you.”

Now, what they say may or may not be true. It doesn’t help. And by the way let’s say I’m a shoplifter. This is not the worst thing in the world to be. It’s not great. Let’s say I just routinely like to lift Chap Stick and such. And I say I believe that John August is a domestic abuser. Sounds great. Because I’ve heard. Oh, I’ve heard.

**John:** Oh, you’ve heard the stories.

**Craig:** And I know him. He’s not. And also you’re a shoplifter. And I have proof. Well, my being a shoplifter doesn’t mean you’re not a domestic abuser. But now the conversation is muck. This is the problem with the world.

I will say if I had credible evidence or a strong reason to believe that somebody was behaving in an illegal way, breaking the law in a serious way, then I would do my best to try and get it out somehow in a way that would be also credible and believable. That is not what we’re talking. I mean, in terms of what you and I are talking about it’s really more of just unpleasant nasty behavior and not breaking the law.

**John:** Indeed.

All right. So going from situations out there to situations internally, a thing I often grapple with is when to bail on a project. When to say like, you know what, I just don’t think this is going to happen. And perhaps I enjoy the people involved and I would love to see this movie get made. I just don’t think it’s going to happen. And I’ve never been able to find a good rubric for figuring out, OK, for these reasons I should leave. And I think therefore I encounter the sunk cost fallacy where I’ve spent this much time on it I’m going to keep working on it, even though I probably shouldn’t.

**Craig:** It’s hard. And it’s hard because you are breaking up with something that you once loved. And maybe you still do love it, but you just don’t think you can love it that way anymore because you have something else that you need to attend to. Including things that you want to do. This does happen a lot.

It seems like Hollywood knows what you want and they want you to do the other thing. They know you want a job, so they won’t give it to you. They know you want to stop working on something, they will not let you. They just know. And this one always feels terrible to me. I do not like this feeling. I don’t like the feeling of disappointing people. I don’t like the feeling of letting people down. It’s a weird feeling.

Sometimes I feel like, OK, you’re a doctor in a MASH unit in a war and you could absolutely go over there and stop that guy from bleeding and probably save his leg, but this guy over here needs something else to save his heart. And so you work on that guy knowing full well that other guy, he’s going to lose a leg because of you. That sucks. But you know we can’t do everything. We can’t.

**John:** Yeah. Some advice that someone gave me which I’m sure I’ve shared on the podcast several times is that, and I forget which writer this was, but I think her advice was to write a letter to that project basically saying like thank you for teaching me these things. This feels very much The Art of Tidying Up kind of thing which is basically like acknowledging that that project as a thing and saying goodbye to it in a way that’s meaningful rather than just sort of keeping it on a tiny bit of life support there in your brain.

**Craig:** I don’t think I’ll ever do that.

**John:** Will never do that. That’s too rational of a thing to do.

**Craig:** I just would feel silly writing a letter to a concept. But that’s me.

**John:** Here is a thing that comes up quite a bit, and I’ve had some personal experience, but I also remember talking with a writer friend about this. Someone tells you something that they’re writing, or something that they’re working on, and it’s just a hell of a lot like something that you yourself are working on. That you’re clearly in the same space. Do you tell them that you’re working on the same thing right away? Does it matter how front burner it is versus back burner?

I find it awkward and yet it’s naturally going to happen because we’re all working in the same business. We have the same cultural impacts. It’s going to happen. What do you do in those situations, Craig?

**Craig:** I haven’t been in that situation too much because usually I’ve been working on things that were sort of, like a studio said we want to do this. So it wouldn’t matter whether or not somebody else wanted to do it. It was already there in existence and I’m working on it. But for things that were individual, if for instance while I’d been working on Chernobyl someone had said, “Oh, you know, I’m thinking about doing Fukushima as a big story.” I would have been like, OK, I should tell you that I’m working on this.

I’m not going to go into details or anything, but I am just so you know. And never because I want them to stop doing it, but rather more because I don’t want them to think that I walked away from that conversation going well I should work on Fukushima.

**John:** Yeah. A thing I’ve found myself doing, especially early on, is that I’ll be with a group of writers and someone will tell a tale or share something and if it’s close to something I want to do, or that actual incident is actually the thing we all sort of experience, and I will say like, “Hey, is anyone calling dibs on that? Because I actually could really use that thing.” Recognizing that other writers are going to find the same kind of material around you.

The same thing happens with just like people in your real life, like Mike my husband, and my daughter, things that could happen, conversations that could be had I need to be mindful of am I just strip-mining these things to use in stuff I’m writing. And I try not to, but if I am going to end up using some of it I will try to signal to them first that this is a thing that I’m going to be using a piece of, but don’t feel like I’m just taking your life.

**Craig:** I like the idea of you having a little light that you could turn on in the middle of a conversation. Just press a button casually and a green light goes on. And they just know, oh god, he’s recording it now. This is happening.

**John:** But back to the idea of competing projects, you and I have had a conversation a while back of like there was a time where we were working on projects that weren’t directly competing but were in a similar space. And it was interesting. And it was sort of fun, but it never became contentious because I think again it was clear that those properties existed independent of our involvement with them.

**Craig:** Yeah. And if I think I know which ones you’re talking about, there’s already been four billion things that had come out of that anyway.

**John:** Exactly.

**Craig:** And so essentially if there is a situation where you know both things can coexist even in the marketplace at the same time then it’s not an issue. It’s really more like when someone is like, “Oh my god, I have discovered this story that nobody knows about about this lady who did this thing in 1733.” And someone is like, “Oh, no, I’m also writing about that lady from 1733.”

**John:** Yeah. That’s the problem.

**Craig:** At that point two people are looking at each other and then slowly backing out of the room. It’s a duel. And all I can say in those situations is to just be charitable with each other. Because neither merit nor speed is going to determine which one or if either or both get made. There’s going to be some crazy series of luck and financial decisions and god knows what that makes those determinations. So don’t feel like once you hear that you’re doomed. You’re not.

**John:** You’re not. How to talk about movies and properties where you share credit, where it’s not entirely yours? And the degree to which you should claim credit for things – I’m not saying claim credit in a grabby way, but do you list those as your credits when you share a credit?

So an example for me would be Aladdin. And so Aladdin is a movie that I share screenwriting credit on. And so when people list my credits, like Aladdin, it’s like yes and it’s a shared credit. But I’m not going to go out and every time correct them to say like oh that’s a shared credit. Like to what degree is it OK to say from the screenwriter of Aladdin on something.

**Craig:** You kind of got to feel like where was I in the totem pole of things, you know? And if I feel like maybe I was the junior member of the writing crew then I’m not going to kind of want to say like – if someone is like, oh, Craig Mazin, he wrote The Hangover Part 2. Well, no I didn’t. I wrote it with Todd Phillips and Scott Armstrong. So, it would be strange – and literally ampersands. So in that case it’s super easy. I just don’t want that.

If someone says, OK, Craig Mazin wrote Identity Thief. Well, technically I have sole credit for the screenplay and I share credit with the story because another writer wrote a spec script. And that’s a guaranteed credit he has not matter what. In that case I’m OK with it because I kind of mostly did. Mostly. You know?

**John:** So, there’s going to be decisions though about when you’re going to bother correcting something and when you’re not going to. An example, our friend Rachel Bloom, whenever she’s listed as creator of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend she will tag Aline and say, “And don’t forget Aline Brosh McKenna, co-creator.” That’s a great, nice thing to do. Because co-created, that’s like a huge deal.

**Craig:** That’s an ampersand situation. It’s a team.

**John:** It’s a team. They did that together. But you and I also have colleagues who they share a story credit on something and they’ll be like, I’m not saying “I wrote this movie,” but they broadcast a credit that’s like it wasn’t really very much their credit.

**Craig:** If you talk about your own credits out of insecurity to make yourself seem like you did more than you did, or you are who you aren’t, everyone is going to know anyway. I mean, it’s not going to matter. It’s not going to fool anyone. Just be honest to what it is. Just be honest to what it is.

I mean, I have a lot of credits on a lot of movies. And then I have movies that I wrote a lot on that I don’t have credit on. And in the end no one gives a damn. If you do it long enough and you do it frequently enough you finally get to a place where you realize no one cares. When you get those first credits, oh my god do you care.

**John:** Yeah. Not only does it affect your career, it affects your income in a way we talked about last week. A credit does matter. So we get that.

**Craig:** Right. But if you have that shared story credit on a thing because you were rewritten essentially out of existence then you’re not going to get a huge bump in your career. You’re not going to get a huge bump in your salary. And you probably shouldn’t go off and say things like I wrote blankety-blank and forget the people that have like, for instance, all the rest of the screenplay credit or the rest of the story credit. It just doesn’t make sense.

**John:** Yeah. More ethical choices. Do you take a project where the money involved may come from places that are really problematic?

**Craig:** Ah, yes.

**John:** And so we’ve talked about this before in terms of Saudi money and things. And that can be a huge problem. But China. Also a real issue. And so there have been projects recently where it’s like, oh, you know, this would actually be an amazing movie to make with Chinese money. You can totally see that happening. And then you have all the challenges of China.

**Craig:** Correct. I try to keep things working directly for what I consider to be United States or UK companies that are funding themselves. There is no way to remove yourself from the global economic mesh. Everybody who walks down the street is ultimately one way or another doing business with other countries. If you don’t want to do business with China you do need to get rid of all of your laptops, all of your cell phones, all of everything. Because they manufacture everything.

Is there a difference between that and directly taking 100% funding from a particular company in another country? Yes. Of course there is. And so you have to sit in your uncertainty and make those choices. For me, I don’t really live in that world, so it’s not been a thing for me.

It would be really hard, I’m sure, as an artist if you knew like oh my god the thing that I was desperate to make that I really wanted to make, ah, but these people who are giving me the money I do not like them. And then you’ve got to look in the mirror and make a tough choice.

**John:** Yeah. A similar tough choice is getting involved with people who may have done terrible things. And so we can think of a list of people who have done shitty stuff who continue to work in the industry and are you willing to work with them? And sometimes it’s a case of like, oh, I can take this animation project to seven different places. Am I going to go to that place that has that guy who we’re concerned about? That’s a choice you’re going to make.

And it’s tough. Sometimes you have the luxury of being able to pick where places go. But if one person controls the rights on a thing and you want to do that thing that can be your only place to go to. And those things happen all the time. And if you rule out working for anybody who is problematic you’re going to basically not be able to work anywhere.

**Craig:** Well humans are problematic. Let’s just start with that. Everyone has done some really weird, screwy crap. Everybody. Nuns. Everyone has thought or done something bad. Because we’re human. And then the question is how bad, and how frequently, and did you change. I do believe in redemption. If I didn’t I don’t know how I would do the job that I do, because that’s what half of stories are about. And I do think it’s important to give people room to improve and change.

There are some people that do things where I don’t feel I need to forgive them. I’m just perfectly happy never working with them again. But for others, if they appear to be making a real effort, and they appear to have changed for the good, and are doing the work, then I think it’s important to not endlessly shun them. Because if you do you’re just kind of saying just keep being a criminal then basically. And when I say criminal I mean moral criminal. So just keep doing it, because you’re getting blamed for it anyway. So do it forever.

So, this is the sit with the uncertainty. Where is the line between unforgiveable and forgivable? Between I’m never going to do that again or this person deserves another chance? They have changed. Have they changed? I don’t know. Feel it out I guess.

**John:** Yeah. So the way you’re phrasing that at the end speaks back to sort of like the situations we’re often trying to find for our characters which is basically those are thematic questions. What is forgivable? Can a person be redeemed? You’re trying to create situations in which your protagonists are wrestling with these concerns. So don’t be afraid when you are the protagonist in the story and are wrestling with these concerns.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** And it’s natural to feel tension and for it to feel really uncomfortable. And to want to retreat into the safest possible choice, but that’s often not the correct choice. Sometimes the traumatic choice is actually the correct choice. It’s going to be difficult, and it’s going to be painful, and you’re going to push through it and figure out the best way forward.

**Craig:** That’s why I love the movie Doubt as much as I do. Or I suppose the play which became the movie. It is a spectacular investigation of people whose job is to make moral determinations wrestling with doubt. Fundamental doubt. And uncertainty about a moral choice. And aside from being beautifully written, and beautifully acted, and beautifully directed, Amy Adams, Streep, it’s also a philosophically smart evaluation of our inability, fundamental inability to make certain moral choices.

There’s a place we cannot see, but we have to figure out how to navigate anyway. We have to move forward. We have to make a decision. But there are places we cannot see. And we make these decisions blindly all the time. We fool ourselves into thinking that we’re making these decisions with a clear head after careful thought and evaluation. But we’re not. We’re guessing. All the time.

**John:** We’re retroactively creating principles that theoretically guided our decision, but of course we actually just made the decision and then decided the principles after the fact.

**Craig:** And to tie into the craft of writing that’s one of the reasons I love that movie so much is because you’re going along feeling like the movie is zeroing in on moral certainty. And then there’s a scene between Meryl Streep and Viola Davis that just knocks the wind out of you and makes you think maybe not. And that’s where it gets really weird and uncomfortable, which I love.

**John:** All right. Let’s invite our producer, Megana Rao, on to ask some of our listener questions. We’ve got some good ones. And we’ll start with things that feel like this moral or ethical gray area.

**Craig:** OK.

**Megana Rao:** OK, great. So Cedric wrote in and he said, “I wrote a movie, my first, that got sidelined by Covid. They had decent name talent signed up. Funding was approved. Preproduction was already beginning, and literally a day or two before I was going into the lawyer’s office to sign the papers Covid struck and the whole thing got frozen.

“It’s an independent project, so I don’t know that it will ever happen now. Everyone insists that it’s going forward this year, but I give the whole thing a 10% chance or less. Two questions that came out of it for me that no one can seem to give me a straight answer on. One, at what point in the process does a writer’s contract get signed? They sent out the script to talent after we finished the director’s pass, but we hadn’t signed anything other than the deal memo at that point. No one asked my permission or anything. And when I brought it up to my lawyer and agents they seemed to think it was OK because I still own the material.

“And, two, in the process of doing the director’s pass there were a number of changes I didn’t like and argued against. I was constantly told, well, if you don’t do it the director will just fire you later down the road and do it himself. But I wasn’t proud of it anymore and I was marginally embarrassed about putting my name on some parts of it. Should I have just given the director co-writer credit so I could use that as an excuse for the parts I didn’t like? Or is it still better to keep sole writer credit regardless?”

**John:** Oh, so much good stuff to unpack here.

**Craig:** Yeah, let’s chew on this.

**John:** And so some backstory on Cedric here is that he wrote in with a previous things like months ago about this situation before his movie got shut down. And so this is sort of the synopsis of where we’re at now.

But, Craig, we can start with the simple. At what point do writers’ contracts get signed?

**Craig:** Well, it’s different. It depends on the studio. It depends on the project. Sometimes – I will tell you this. I don’t have a signed contract for Chernobyl. HBO is just sort of like, you know, we had a deal in place and then sort of like, you know, this is what we’re doing. And it happened. But usually there will be a final singed contract.

In the case of Cedric weirdly the longer it takes for that contract to get signed the more leverage he has. Because if they’re going to make a movie and they haven’t purchased the copyright, they have not done the literary material sale, you can hijack them for almost anything.

So, I actually think your lawyer and agents are correct because you own this material and the longer that goes – I mean, the best scenario is they forget. They forget and it’s one day before everyone is going to start shooting and you’re like, oh, by the way you can’t. I can get an injunction. You can stop this crap tomorrow. You can’t make a derivative work of something I have copyright on without my permission and I don’t give permission. So they’re going to have to.

**John:** Yeah. We’re assuming this was a spec script where he wrote it himself and this company bought it and that this was happening. It wasn’t that they owned a book or something and hired him on to write it. But, yes, Craig is correct. At some point before production begins on an indie feature like this they are going to need you to sign that contract because in order to get their insurance and everything else they need for the bond and everything else they need to actually make this movie. They will to prove that they actually have control of the chain of title.

**Craig:** Now, the second thing is disturbing. And it’s why I suspect that if this did happen on the day before shooting your lawyer and agent should say, “Oh, by the way, you have to sign this bad deal because if you don’t then you’re dead in this business and you’ll be blacklisted.” Because you’re getting bad advice. In the process of doing the director’s pass there were a number of changes you didn’t like and argued against and you were constantly told if you don’t do it the director will just fire you later down the road and do it himself. I don’t know who is telling you that. Is it your producer? Is it your lawyer? Is it your agents?

Regardless. If you’re not proud of it and you’re marginally embarrassed and you don’t put your name on it, guess what, don’t do those. Then maybe you don’t want this movie made that way. While I understand the value of getting a movie made, there is also danger in getting a movie made if it’s bad and it is embarrassing. That word embarrass is a very upsetting word. Then maybe this isn’t the right director? And maybe you should say I don’t like this director and I don’t want to do this anymore. Because guess what? You own all the chips.

And if they want to make the movie they need you to do it. So, this is a conversation that I would have very frankly with your lawyer and agents and tell them I don’t like what’s happened here. I want this to be like this again. I don’t mind making changes but I think we should find a different director, because I don’t like this one.

**John:** All right. So here is where I disagree with Craig. I think it is in Cedric’s best interest for this movie to get made. And understand that the process of going from your vision of what this movie should be to the shared vision of what a director can actually do and accomplish and put on screen is an important part of the process. And I think he’s probably feeling some of this natural tension.

And the director may be terrible. The director may just be the wrong person. But the director could also in many situations be exactly the right person to direct this movie, just has a slightly different vision. And sometimes the writer has to accommodate the director’s vision because that director cannot direct a movie that he or she does not understand and doesn’t get and is not excited to shoot.

And so I think it’s natural to feel frustration at this script not being exactly what you set out to do. But you’ve got to kind of live with that. If this actually happens. But you think there’s only a 10% chance this movie even does happen, so the good news is Cedric you have the ability to sort of roll back to whatever version of the script, or a new version of the script that you think best reflects what you want this movie to be and that can be the movie that goes forward under a new situation, a new way of setting this up. Or as a writing sample to get you your next job.

So, I fully get Craig’s instinct to sort of say you have to be excited and proud about your work at every stage. But, it’s also important, I think you and I have both had this experience, sometimes you do have to bend to the situation because that’s what being a screenwriter is.

**Craig:** You’re right. So the question is where does the bending stop and the breaking begin? And in this case Cedric you’ve given us a perfect example of an area with uncertainty. Because I don’t think what I’m saying is wrong, and I don’t think what John is saying is wrong. I think it’s really a question of you have to ask where does this fall on that line. And there is uncertainty here. And you may not even ever know if you made the right decision. How about that?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

**John:** I look at so many of my screenwriting colleagues whose first credits are not good movies. And I think they would all prefer that those movies were better movies. But are they glad those movies exist? Yeah, because it did help. And so a not fantastic first movie I think is still in general better than not having a movie produced. And especially in terms of what you, Cedric, as a screenwriter will have learned in the process of going from this is what I had on paper and this is what showed up on screen.

**Craig:** Yeah. You know, you just got to kind of feel it out and see what you think. And talk about it with somebody you trust. And this is why it’s important that at least somebody among your lawyer/agent cadre, really it should be your agent, should be able to have that long term far view. And be able to then tell you, look, in the long run I think this is going to be better for you, or in the long run I do think we should make a change. That’s kind of what you’re hoping they’ll be able to do and not just think short term.

**John:** And you may need to make a change in your reps or your lawyer or somebody else if you feel like you’re getting bad advice.

**Craig:** Fire your agent. Fire your agent. I mean, we need to have those Morning Zoo buttons where I can just push a thing. Fire your agent!

**John:** Yup. All right, Megana, what else do you have for us?

**Megana:** So Max asks, “I just finished a feature that my agent and I are really excited to send out. The movie is a high concept farce with an ensemble cast and some action-y set pieces. Although its length is on par with similar scripts, it does have an objectively high page count. My agent and I are worried that the script won’t get looked at based on page count alone.

“A simple solution is to trim it down. But here’s the dilemma. Everyone who gave me feedback had a different favorite character, a different favorite scene, etc. And sometimes their least favorites were someone else’s favorites. I think this will be a strength of the movie, but it doesn’t give me a clear picture of what cuts to make. My question is should we send this out to producers and executives as is, and let them decide what they want to cut or emphasize? Or do I need to buckle down and make a decision so I don’t seem amateur and undisciplined?

“My biggest fear is sending it out and having doors close for me instead of open. Or, am I being an insane, insecure writer?”

**John:** Oh Max. You’re being every writer. Every writer has those insecurities.

**Craig:** How sad would it have been if we were like, no Max, there’s something seriously wrong with you.

**John:** There’s something seriously wrong.

**Craig:** Oh my god.

**John:** Put down your pen and leave.

**Craig:** Check into a facility immediately.

**John:** Craig, my first instinct is that Max feels that something should get cut. That cuts probably will help. And he’s scared of what to cut. I think he has to make some decisions and actually just make the cuts that he thinks delivers the strongest script and not worry about the differing advice he’s hearing from different people. What’s your instinct?

**Craig:** You can’t please everybody. So if you make a movie and in particular what you’re talking about is a high concept farce. OK, well, if you make a high concept farce and you get 75 people to like it in a movie theater you’re doing a really good job. That means a quarter of the people aren’t going to even like it. So, you don’t have to opinion shop here. That is a way, ah, so let us introduce this fantastic phrase “reassurance seeking.”

When you are reassurance seeking you are hoping for people to help you get rid of the anxiety of uncertainty. You tell me and then there will be certainty and I won’t have to worry anymore. The problem with reassurance seeking is the reassurance isn’t actually necessarily real. People will differ in their opinions of what is reassuring. And in the end you will still be stuck with uncertainty. So, I think John is absolutely right. You look at it. You’re the writer. And you decide what I think is important, what I think maybe could go.

Also, because it’s a high concept farce – farce is the important thing I’m thinking – with an ensemble cast, I’m feeling like there’s probably a lot of scenes where there’s a lot of snappy dialogue and people yap-yap-yap-yap back and forth and door-slamming. And that can inflate page count in a deceiving way.

So, one thing you might want to also – look, if it’s 190 pages I don’t think there’s anything anybody can say that’s going to help it. But if it’s 130, you can say on a little opening page, “This is a farce. People talk fast. Don’t freak out about the page count. It’s going to read faster than most scripts that are 90 pages. Trust me.”

You can own it. Right up front. It’s called anchoring. Anchor people’s context and then they won’t be like what the…

There you go.

**John:** Yeah. Another trick you might want to try is because it’s a farce I’ll say it’s permissible is to do the Greta Gerwig thing where you dual dialogue some stuff that’s sort of at the very edge of dual dialogue. But it’s a way of capturing that people talking quickly feeling without it just stretching on for forever. So that may be another technique. But, yeah, again I think farce is the thing here, so it’s both high speed but also we don’t expect a farce to go on for two hours. And so that’s why you may want to be underneath that kind of 120-page thing. Because that feels right for a farce.

**Craig:** Do what you can. But don’t freak out about it. And I will say this. You will not – if people get this, they’re not going to go, “Wait a second. This is more than 120 pages. Not only am I not reading this, but put Max on our list. He’s dead to us.” That will not happen. If they read five or six pages and they’re laughing they’ll read another eight. And if they’re laughing they’ll read another 20. And if they’re laughing they’ll get to the end. They will. They just will.

**John:** They will. 100%. Megana, what else you got for us?

**Megana:** All right. So Andrew wrote in and he said your conversation about the agencies and union agreement over packaging got me curious about union agreements internationally. For instance, I’m from Canada and the local actors union, ACTRA, has an agreement with SAG/AFTRA about honoring each other’s agreements and advocating for their members when actors work in Canada and vice versa. Does the WGA have similar agreements with international unions like the Writers Guild of Canada? Does the agreement you reach with the agencies apply to international organizations whose members work in the US?”

**John:** So the answer is it is complicated. And the thing you always have to remember is that unlike writers’ unions around the world, or writers’ guilds around the world, we truly are a union in the US. And most other countries have nothing like us as a union.

So there’s the International Affiliation of Writers Guilds which meets annually. It comes together. And so it includes people from France, New Zealand, India, Israel, Canada, Great Britain, Germany, Ireland, South Africa. So they’re all talking about issues of common concern to film and TV writers. But a lot of the concerns look so differently because we are actually a labor organization and places in Europe and Asia and Australia they can’t do the kinds of things that we can do because we are a union.

**Craig:** Yeah. This is a slightly messy area because of jurisdictional issues. For instance, the Writers Guild POV – and this isn’t opinion, this is in our collective bargaining agreement – is that if you live in the United States, or if you are here in the United States geographically when you sell your material or if you are a resident of the US but happen to be temporarily abroad you are under the WGA.

Now, the Writers Guild of Canada basically says if you’re Canadian then we represent you. That’s how it works. Well, OK, now what? So you’re a Canadian. You come and hang out in LA and in about three or four months you come up with an idea and you sell it here. Now what? I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. I think it’s kind of a big old mess.

**John:** Yeah. And there’s things that come up and there’s waivers that happen. There’s lots of stuff that does sort itself out. I think the crucial thing to understand is it does sort itself out kind of over time. Whenever there’s talk of a big strike or something there’s always that threat that like oh the studios will just go hire British writers and it never happens.

**Craig:** The Canadians are coming!

**John:** There are so many British writers, but it just doesn’t happen.

**Craig:** No, because I think generally speaking writers are pretty cool and they understand. Nobody wants to be a scab, right? So just because you technically can, it’s like they always say, OK, there’s going to be a strike and then what’s going to happen is John August is going to move to London or France, as he often does, and then he can do whatever he wants because he’s in France.

But we don’t. We just don’t. If we wanted to cheat there’s an easier way to cheat than that. Do you know what I mean? So it’s like it doesn’t really happen. That doesn’t come up. Happily.

**John:** But, Megana, I see we have another question that’s very WGA related. So do you want to talk us through what Cleo wrote in about?

**Megana:** Yes. So Cleo wrote in and she said, “In Episode 485 you said the amazing thing about joining the WGA is that you don’t have to do anything. They will find you. I wanted to write in and share my experience joining, or trying to join, the WGA. Spoiler, it’s not as straightforward as you think.

“I was hired in December to write a feature for a WGA signatory company. I called the WGA’s membership department and emailed over a copy of my contract before the holidays. But I didn’t hear back. Oh well, I thought, they’ll flag my deal anyway and reach out soon enough. When I didn’t hear anything in the first couple of weeks of January I followed up by phone and by email and same deal. No response. Eventually in February someone got back to me to say they’d seen my email and in early March I finally received an application form.

“Now, you could blame this on the chaos of Covid, but the thing is a couple years ago I earned enough credits to become an associate member of the WGA. And no one from the guild reached out then to let me know. I didn’t even find out associate membership was a thing until much later. Whatever the reason, if I hadn’t been proactive and practically pestered the membership department for an application form I would not be on my way to becoming a member. The WGA should have some sort of checking system that flags contracts with non-members and triggers and application process.

“I’m sure I’m not the only new writer who has felt overlooked. And I sure could use the guild’s help getting my first payment, though I doubt that will happen because I’m still not a member yet. You see, I need that payment to make the $2,500 initiation fee.”

**Craig:** Oh boy.

**John:** Oh boy, lots of stuff here. So, first let’s talk about associate membership. Associate membership is a relatively new thing. It’s new within my time being in the guild. Where people who are doing screenwriting but they haven’t been hired by signatory companies to the degree they would be members can get some benefits for that. And it’s helpful and useful, but it’s a thing where you yourself have to sort of apply for it. So there’s a reason why the guild isn’t reaching out for that, because you call them versus them calling you.

My memory and my instinct about the guild is that they reached out pretty quickly when I was hired to write my first feature that was a guild feature, How to Eat Fried Worms. But it took a couple of months. And I don’t know that that’s unusual.

For folks who are writing television, it’s really clear when someone is hired in television because all that stuff happens really quickly. You’re getting paid really quickly. And the guild can see like, oh, this is a writer who is not in our system. This person now needs to join the guild and it’s easy to see. Features just take longer. And so that sense of like oh when the contract happened, well the guild wouldn’t have seen the contract until well done the road. And even in this age of agencies sharing contracts and deals they just sort of wouldn’t know for a while.

So it feels like Cleo did the right things in terms of being proactive. Are there things that the guild should probably do to improve tracking once a person has reached in? Yeah. Is it probably Covid? Yeah. But I’m not super surprised that she’s encountering this situation.

**Craig:** I’m not going to apologize for this. This was bad. I used to joke that the one thing the guild was really, really good at was finding out people who had earned enough employment credits to become a member of the guild and then chase them down and shake them down for that $2,500 initiation fee. Because that’s what happened to me in 1995 I think. I sold my first, it was a pitch that sold to write a screenplay with my writing partner. And I don’t know, within days or whatever I got a call from not just someone at the guild, but like the head of the membership department saying, “Hi, I found you.”

And I was like how did you even track – it was like getting served by–

**John:** How did they find you?

**Craig:** I don’t know.

**John:** Maybe was there something in Variety?

**Craig:** Maybe? I don’t know. All I know is that they were on it. And what I don’t like about this is that the – you want to talk – like the guild has this focus on organizing. The easiest organizing we can do is to organize the people that we already have the right to represent. So, yes, no question that when you’re hired in December Cleo the WGA signatory is supposed to alert the WGA. They may not have.

OK, so then you called the WGA membership department and emailed over a copy of your contract before the holidays. At that point that should have been done that day. I don’t understand.

**John:** They should have piggybacked like OK now you’ve got to fill out these forms.

**Craig:** 100%.

**John:** So here’s something we can do. We know the WGA folks. And so we’ll try to get an answer for Cleo about what is the normal process and sort of what didn’t happen properly here. I think our general guideline though is that Cleo couldn’t have gotten by for years without joining the WGA. They would have found her and she would have had to join.

**Craig:** But that’s not the point. The point is that – and this is the big point is her very last thing. I could use the guild’s help getting my first payment. Because she needs help. She’s already getting kicked around. And she needs her first payment to make the initiation fee. All of this would have been a lot easier if they had called her right then and there, right when they got back from the holidays on January 8 and said, got it, and she said, “Listen I can’t make that payment until you help me.” They would have helped her, hopefully.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** But instead they sat on that email for over a month. And then, yeah, and then waited even longer. Yes, is Covid a thing? 100%. But also the WGA has managed to do a whole lot of stuff during Covid. So this seem fundamental like they should–

**John:** As we talked last week they were able to go through a thousand screenwriter contracts.

**Craig:** Exactly.

**John:** So her contract should have been in that.

**Craig:** 100%. And by the way this is a good thing that we can always hand off to a board member that we know to say dig into this.

**John:** Oh yeah. We will.

**Craig:** In fact, we’re doing it. We’re doing it.

**John:** Done. Send. All right. One last question, I’ll just actually read this one. This is from Graham who says he’s a screenwriter about to graduate from college and “I’m building a website for myself for the first time.” And he basically wanted some general advice.

So I just did a panel for the guild on press and publicity and advice for that. And one of the things I mentioned in there which I want to share with everybody else is I think it is very important for a screenwriter to control a Twitter account, an Instagram account, and a website, just so that you can be clear that I am this person. And so when something comes up you can point to like I am this person on the Internet. This is a source of truth for who I am.

And so register your own name if it’s possible. Your own name dot com or dot co, dot UK or whatever you want to register. Register something so that when I Google your name that will be the first thing that comes up is a simple clean website that says here’s who I am. This is the things I’ve worked on. And in the question Graham asks, “Should I include samples of my stuff?” Maybe. If you have stuff that’s actually really good of course you should. And if you have a portfolio of work or YouTube videos of things you shot that actually really good you totally should.

You don’t need to put on pitches and log lines and that kind of thing. But just let us know who you are so that when I Google you we can find you and I can say like, oh, that is this person and not the other person who has a similar name.

**Craig:** That’s a great idea. I think that all makes sense to me. I think people should feel free to put stuff – you know, artists put stuff up all the time. Directors put stuff up. Actors put stuff up. Writers are like, oh god, but what if they steal it? You know what the best evidence for them stealing it is? The fact that it was on your website three years earlier. That’s kind of like the best proof ever.

**John:** Yeah. So my only hesitation in putting stuff up is just like make sure it’s really showing your best work. But if you have a thing you own that you control that you’re proud of, absolutely put that up. Or put up the first ten pages and let people email you for the rest of it. That’s great.

And so I’m really talking about kind of a calling card website which is the minimum thing you can do. I’ll put a link in the show notes there’s a site I use called card.co.

**Craig:** Card.

**John:** Which is good for little one page things. And I use it for like if I refer to a URL in a project and I don’t really want to build a website I’ll get the URL and build a simple page for that. It’s absolutely fine for this kind of thing. So, to spend two hours making a website once is time worthwhile. You don’t have to have a blog and have everything else. Don’t feel like you have to do everything. Doing the minimum is perfect in this case.

**Craig:** I love doing the minimum.

**John:** You used to have a website yourself.

**Craig:** I did. I did. God, so long ago.

**John:** So long ago. I remember one of our first interactions was you asking how I got the little brad icon to float properly in CSS.

**Craig:** I thought it was like, oh, that’s probably not that hard to do. And you were like, no, it was a month of my life. It was like roto scoping a brad onto a thing.

**John:** Uh-huh.

**Craig:** That’s a whole world of stuff that’s just so mystifying to me. CSS. All the like Photoshop-y, layer-y. Oh my god. I can’t.

**John:** It’s a lot.

**Craig:** I can’t.

**John:** It’s a lot. I can still read CSS, but I don’t have to do it all that often.

**Craig:** I love the idea of you reading CSS at night like a novel. [laughs]

**John:** I can still often figure out what CSS element is broken when something is not looking right, but I shouldn’t. It’s one of those things where like I shouldn’t try to fix it because that’ll just make it worse.

**Craig:** Yeah, and you know what? It’s not your job.

**John:** It’s not my job.

**Craig:** Not my job.

**John:** But Megana your job is to go through all these questions so thank you for helping sort through all the people who write in.

**Craig:** Thank you, Megana.

**Megana:** Thank you for these answers.

**Craig:** Of course.

**John:** It is time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is an article by Taylor Lorenz for the New York Times. She’s writing that For Creators, Everything is For Sale. So it goes on sort of the Beeple stuff, but really talking about – I love this phrase she uses – how people “monetize the drama.” And so think about like what do writers do? Well writers monetize the drama. That’s sort of what we’re doing.

But these are people whose real life. So celebrities or online celebrities and finding ways to take a picture of their feet and make money off of just like selling the rights to their feet. Or selling the right to decide what they’re going to wear for a day. It’s that weird Black Mirror episode that we’re living in.

**Craig:** I don’t want to live anymore. Get me off the planet. Get me off.

**John:** All right. Craig, you promised something great for your One Cool Thing so I’m really excited.

**Craig:** I don’t know if it’s going to be great. But this is a first for us after nearly 500 episodes. I’m going to do a live One Cool Thing. And the purpose of this is to find out if this is or is not a One Cool Thing. Have I talked about Upstep before? Was that a prior One Cool Thing?

**John:** It sounds familiar, but describe it.

**Craig:** So many years ago I used to wear orthotics because my feet are – when I say flat I mean flat. Like where–

**John:** Elephant.

**Craig:** You would say to foot doctors I have a flat foot. And they’re like, uh-huh, well show. And then they would go, “Oh my god!” So I have the flattest feet.

**John:** How are you alive?

**Craig:** Yeah. Like what the hell? What planet are you from? So I used to wear orthotics and then I got these sort of like wore out. And it was a huge pain in the ass. You’ve got to go to the foot doctor. You step on this thing and they charge you like hundreds of dollars and it takes like 19 years and then you get the thing back and you try it out and you go back to the doctor again.

So, it wore out. And then I got these new sneakers that kind of had slightly built-in arch support and they were fine. But not great. And then I read about this thing called Upstep. So they send you a cardboard box that sort of unfolds into two halves. And in each half is foam. Like the kind of real soft foam. And you step in it. And then you step in the other one. And then you send it back to them and they take the imprint of your foot and the foam. You say, oh, I’ve got flat feet and I want this. And they make you insert and send them back.

I have received them. And I’m going to try – I’ll just do the right foot. So I’m opening the box right now. Upstep tips. Give your orthotics time. Start with one to two hours a day. No problem.

Here they are. They look like orthotics. So that’s good. Here we go. I’m going to put the right one in. My model is on my feet all day which is [unintelligible]. I guess they’re like your feet are so flat we’re going to call you that. So stand by.

My shoe is off. They’re going on. Oh, I’ve got to take out the – so when you do these things you’ve got to take out the one that comes in your sneaker. That one comes out. This one goes in. Oh, no, it fits. OK, it fits. I was like oh boy it’s already not cool, but it fits and it fits nice and snug and good. OK, so here I go. I’m putting my foot in.

OK. I can feel it in there. That’s good. And it does take some getting used to. I’m going to tie my shoes, stand up. Stand by. Here we go.

Oh! OK. Huh?

Well, here’s my verdict. It feels like a support. It feels like the other ones felt. Is it going to be good or not over time? I don’t know. I’ll have to check it out. But I’m going to give these a shot.

**John:** Very exciting.

**Craig:** Yeah. So I think this is provisionally my One Cool Thing. Upstep. Oh, and by the way much cheaper than going to the doctor about it.

**John:** I see these all the time in my Instagram feed. So, I’m sure I’ll keep seeing them more.

If you enjoy people trying on things they see online I’m going to also link you to my friends do All Consuming which is a podcast where they buy the things off of Instagram and then actually try them out on their podcast.

**Craig:** Oh that’s fun.

**John:** So you should try that as well.

**Craig:** That’s fun.

**John:** Great. Well I’m happy for your feet, Craig.

**Craig:** Oh, John, I have a question for you. Final question.

**John:** Please.

**Craig:** That what you just said reminded me off. Have you ever drunk bought something?

**John:** Oh, yeah. I will Kindle buy some things when I’m a little bit drunk. How about you? What do you drunk buy?

**Craig:** Back in the days when I used to be on Facebook one night I had just one too many, which for me means three. I had one too many. And I was on Facebook and there was some ad that made so much sense. It was like this is the most comfortable, these shoes, these dress shoes that you could run in. They’re that comfortable. And I’m like really?

**John:** Wow.

**Craig:** OK! And then the next day I had forgotten it had happened. And then like three weeks later these shoes show up and I’m like what the hell are these. And I never wore them. Drunk purchase.

**John:** And did you feel guilty about getting rid of them?

**Craig:** No. Not even slightly. No. I just felt like in the world of mistakes that people have made when they drank too much that was the mildest possible mistake.

**John:** Yeah. But talking about shoes, I do find you see advice about like you should replace your shoes after certain miles, especially for runners and such. But I realize like I’ll have shoes that are like ten years old and are basically just completely flat and I still wear them because they still work and I feel bad throwing them out. I have a hard time replacing my shoes.

**Craig:** You should. Well, it depends on what kind of shoe. But it’s just not good for your feet. It’s not good for anybody’s feet. So look at it this way. It will do no one any good.

Now, is there some place that maybe recycles that shoe? You could always look into that I suppose. But it’s not something you could donate because it’s going to be bad for somebody else’s feet. It’s just no good.

**John:** Yeah. It’s barely even a gray area.

**Craig:** Yeah. Barely.

**John:** That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** That’s right. Sure is.

**John:** Our outro this week is by Michael Karmon. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send the longer questions that we answer on the show. But for short questions on Twitter I am @johnaugust. You can ask me some questions there.

We have t-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. If you go to johnaugust.com/guide that is the place where you can tell us which of the 500 episodes you think is most relevant for people to listen to and they should not miss if they are going to take a listen through the catalog.

You can find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter, Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. You’ll see those links in the show notes.

And you can sign up to become a premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all those first 491 episodes and the bonus segments like the one we’re about to record detailing our origin stories. Craig and Megana thank you so much.

**Megana:** Thank you.

**Craig:** Thank you guys.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** So our bonus segment this week comes from a question by Isaiah Facta. Let’s listen to what Isaiah asks.

**Isaiah:** Hi John and Craig. I’m going to be graduating from high school in a few months and I know that I want to be a screenwriter. I realized this just after a girl that I liked told me that she didn’t want to be with anyone and then proceeded to get into a relationship two days after. Halfway through an episode of Parks and Rec I realized, hey, I’m not thinking about the girl right now. And I had my ah-ha moment of I want to be a screenwriter. I’m curious what moment made each of you decide that this was what you wanted to do with your life. Thank you both for helping me figure out where to even begin with writing as I don’t think I would be as far as I am if I hadn’t found Scriptnotes. Bye.

**John:** What I love about Isaiah’s story there is that experience of heartbreak plus comedy entertainment is what leads to screenwriting.

**Craig:** Basically. It sounds like he’s got the most important thing in place which is just pain.

I don’t know if there was a moment I realized I wanted to be a screenwriter per se, but there was a growing realization during my senior year of college that I wanted to entertain, somehow. And I didn’t know which way it was going to be, but it seemed like maybe trying to write some stuff, that there was opportunity there.

And so what I started trying to do was write sitcoms. I thought maybe I’d be a sitcom writer. And I was not. That never happened. And I became a sitcom actor before I became a sitcom writer, in fact.

But there was this desire to entertain. And I don’t know if there was a specific moment, it just started becoming clearer and clearer to me somewhere in my senior year of college.

**John:** Up to that point were you writing plays or sketches or any of that kind of stuff?

**Craig:** Nothing.

**John:** Nothing. Because I could totally picture you in an improv troupe. You didn’t do any of that?

**Craig:** No, because I was told over and over by my parents that that was frivolous nonsense. And it was drilled into me in a way that was – it’s hard to explain how – it’s just this thing. I think – I wonder, hey Megana, are you still there?

**Megana:** I am, yes.

**Craig:** Megana, I think John’s mom was probably way nicer than my mom. You don’t have to answer any of this if it’s too personal, but what did your parents think when you were like, you know what, I kind of want to go into entertainment?

**Megana:** They were like that’s such a fun hobby for you to do once you become a doctor.

**Craig:** Et voila. I didn’t even get that much. I got how dare you, you’re going to become a doctor. And so there wasn’t really space to do things like do improv or anything. It all felt guilty. It was all guilty pleasures. And so maybe that’s why the very first thing I did was work on this public affairs news show in college which seemed like the most serious version and therefore maybe potentially the most acceptable version of “entertainment” that I could find.

But I didn’t really allow myself to do anything until I came to LA.

**John:** Well, a common experience I think all three of us on this call would share is that while we were good at writing we were also good at other things, and so like Craig I know you were on your path to becoming a doctor and sort of did all that stuff of looking at cadavers and such. And you could have become a doctor and the same with Megana had her career at Google. There were other things you could have done that were just sort of normal and traditional and typical, and so therefore why would you not do those? And I guess of the three of us I was luckiest in the fact that my parents really did not push me in any particular direction at all.

So I always wrote and I was writing for my high school newspaper and ended up getting a journalism degree in college. But I tried to think back to what was the first moment that I realized that stuff was even written. And I’ve talked before on the show that I remember watching War of the Roses on videotape and rewinding it and starting to just transcribe everything I saw. And I realized like, oh, the dialogue is all written – someone must have written the dialogue down ahead of time.

Which sounds so naïve, because you read plays in high school, but I just didn’t have a sense that there were writers behind stuff.

I remember in fourth, so Spanish 4, so this is in high school, our professor Hugo Hartenstein asked like, “Oh, so what do you want to be when you grow up?” And I said, I was trying to find the words for oh I want to be a screenwriter. And Hugo Hartenstein is a native Spanish speaker, Cuban, and had no idea what the word was for screenwriter. So we eventually figured out it was guionista. So, a guion is a script and a guionista.

But that idea of like, oh, I want to write those scripts. And so then in college I realized like, oh, there really is a whole business and industry of people whose job it is to write these things. And Premiere Magazine. And that was sort of how I first got the notion that like, oh, screenwriting is job and a career I could shoot for and a way to write the stuff that I actually really want to write. The kinds of stories that I want to write.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm. Yeah. You had more of a moment there. I think, well it sounds like Isaiah is a bit freer than at least I was.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** He seems really free. There’s nobody kicking his butt about being a lawyer or a doctor or something. I feel like there’s a really cool – there’s a cool possibility, I’m not saying it’s going to happen, but there’s a possibility that Megana and I do just go to medical school. And we open up a practice. And we’re like screw it, it’s happening, we’re doing it. You know what? Find. We’re doing it. And then we become really good doctors. I could see that.

**John:** You know, I can’t think of any examples of someone who got their medical degree late in life. I’m sure there are examples.

**Megana:** Oh, you should talk to my dad. He has a ton.

**Craig:** Yeah. A friend of mine, his dad became a doctor fairly late in life. And, yeah, it does happen. Usually when it happens they don’t end up necessarily doing what you think of as like, oh, a general practitioner that builds a practice over time, because they don’t have that time. A lot of times they actually end up in administration, hospital administration, and things like that.

And a lot of them just are specialists. Yeah. They do it. I might still do it.

**John:** Get their masters of public health. Some advice for Isaiah as we leave here. He’s a high school student who has realized that he wants to become a screenwriter and TV writer may also be part of that as well. Opportunities he has is just to read a ton of scripts. And we live in a time where you can get access to all those things. And so he should be writing a lot, but he should also be reading a lot.

And I don’t want to steer him to a program that is exclusively film-based. I think he should – if he’s going to college go to a place where he can get a broad education about a bunch of other things that interest him. Because it’s those things that interest you that will be the material that you get to use as a writer.

If you just went someplace to study writing, especially screenwriting, I worry you’d become far too cloistered and wouldn’t have the kind of breadth of experience and breadth of curiosity that’s going to be so important for you.

**Craig:** Always. Try and live life as you’re going along. And try and find something that will put some money in your pocket. Because screenwriting will not for a long time.

**John:** It shall not. Thanks guys.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**Megana:** Thank you.

**Craig:** See you next week.

**John:** Bye.

Links:

* [Listener Guide Submissions](https://johnaugust.com/guide) send in your favorite episodes from 300-500!
* [Screenwriting Competitions Aren’t Worth the Money](https://johnaugust.com/2021/screenwriting-competitions-arent-worth-the-money) blogpost
* [$69 Million Beeple Auction for NFT](https://slate.com/technology/2021/03/beeple-auction-christies-nft-69-million-explained-why-why-why.html )
* [Scriptnotes, Episode 407: Understanding Your Feature Contract](https://johnaugust.com/2019/understanding-your-feature-contract)
* [Build a website on card.co](https://carrd.co/build)
* [For Creators, Everything Is for Sale](https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/10/style/creators-selling-selves.html) by Taylor Lorenz for the NYT
* [Upstep](https://app.upstep.com) for insoles, and for more unboxing content, check out this podcast [All Consuming](https://allconsuming.show)
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* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/492standard.mp3).

Scriptnotes, Episode 489: Kingdom of Cringe, Transcript

February 26, 2021 Scriptnotes Transcript, Transcribed

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2021/kingdom-of-cringe).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 489 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show we will make a valiant effort to plow through the backlog of listener emails, tackling topics ranging from cringe, to coaching, feedback, to focal length.

**Craig:** Oh my.

**John:** And in our bonus segment for Premium members we will discuss small towns versus big cities and our advice for where you should live.

**Craig:** Oh, geez, I don’t know if I’m qualified. I’ve been in both. I guess I am qualified.

**John:** You are qualified. I think we’re all qualified. It’s a bonus topic, too, so even if we’re wrong, it’s a bonus topic.

**Craig:** [laughs] What a great value for our Premium subscribers. It’s a bonus topic, so yeah, we can talk out of our asses. It doesn’t matter.

**John:** One of my criteria for bonus topics is like well you know what not everyone is hearing it so we can say something really controversial. People had to pay to get that controversial topic.

**Craig:** That’s where we really wing it.

**John:** Mm-hmm.

**Craig:** Wing it.

**John:** So it is 2021. It is February. It is award season. So even though it was a weird year for movies, obviously, there were movies. And those movies had scripts and those scripts are now available to read. So in a little bit of news here, every year we gather up a bunch of the screenplays from those movies and put them in Weekend Read in a For Your Consideration category. So, Megana has done a yeoman’s job this last week going through a bunch of these PDFs, getting them ready for Weekend Read.

So, if you would like to read about 15 of these scripts so far, but there will be more coming, open up your Weekend Read and they are there to read for free on your iPhone or other iOS device.

**Craig:** Great. And out of curiosity do you have to get permission from everybody or?

**John:** One of the great things about sort of award season is that all the studios put them up for free. So, what we’re really, really doing is linking to the original things on their websites. And so then we just make sure they actually work properly. Megana had to go through all of them to make sure they worked properly, but the ones we have up do work.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** Great. And that’s a thing that is so different from when you and I started because it was just hard to get scripts. And so you’d have to have these little sort of trading networks because they were all physically copied and it was a hassle.

**Craig:** Yeah. Or there were some stores in Hollywood that would just sell scripts. And there were just bins of piles of Xeroxed scripts.

**John:** Yeah. So the thing we say so often on the show is that the absolute best education you can get about screenwriting is reading a bunch of really good scripts. And so this is a thing you can do to start.

**Craig:** I think at this point we’ve overtaken reading scripts. I think this is it. We’re number one.

**John:** Yeah. Just listen to us and do exactly as we say.

**Craig:** Exactly.

**John:** Because we will always know best. But occasionally we don’t know everything which is why we have guests on the show sometimes. And you and I want to have a little public conversation about the guests we have on the show, because there’s been some misunderstanding or sort of – we’ve changed policies, but also we kind of have a policy. So let’s talk about what our policies are for guests on this show.

**Craig:** Sure. It does seem like there is a threshold where as a podcast if you hit a certain listenership then publicists start to stick you on a list of people they should be, you know, either mass-emailing or in a nice way specifically targeting when their clients are promoting work. We are not a talk show. We’re not a late night talk show. We’re not a chat show. We’re not an interview show. I am at my happiest when it’s this, like the show today, very typical for us. It’s us.

We never had guests early on. It was something we sort of added in a little bit. And my personal feeling is that we are a not-guest show with an occasional guest, as opposed to a guest show with an occasional not-guest.

**John:** I think that is a correct way to sort of position us. And let’s talk about when we do have guests on why we have guests on. For me there’s sort of two criteria. One, does this person have experience in an area of writing that we just don’t have experience in? Like I did an episode with Chad Gomez Creasey and Dailyn Rodriguez. We were talking about network TV procedurals. Like I’ve never written those, but a bunch of people do write those and they are so much better qualified to talk about that.

Late night and variety writing. We had Ashley Nicole Black coming on to talk about that. I don’t know anything about that. She does. It’s great to have her there talking about sketch. We had Alison Luhrs who talked to us about fantasy world-building at Wizards of the Coast. Again, things that our listeners want to know about but we don’t know anything about that, so that’s great.

Sometimes they also have expertise in an area, so like when we have the founders of PayUpHollywood on we can just ask them the things and they can fill in the information. Like we don’t know that stuff and they do know that stuff. So, that’s the kind of guest that we have on.

And occasionally we’ve done stuff around award season where we have on a guest who is just like really good at one area and we can talk specifically about a project that’s already out there, so like Greta Gerwig came on and Noah Baumbach came on to talk about their movies, but really their screenplays we could sort of go through on a granular level.

I want to keep doing that, but we are not the place for your publicists to reach out and try to book a spot on Scriptnotes. We’re not a couch for you to land on.

**Craig:** We’re not. We will at times do things that seem like we are, but we’re not doing them for that purpose. I mean, those shows exist in a symbiotic relationship with publicity machinery. So the publicists send their actor clients on to get free advertising for the movie or TV show and the late night talk show is getting the actor on because that’s now the content that draws people to watch their show and sell the ads.

We don’t have any of those concerns. Sometimes we seem like a chat show, like I’m thinking for instance when we had I thought a terrific and lengthy interview with Dave Mandel and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

**John:** Great.

**Craig:** And that was kind of around the Emmy campaign for the final season of Veep, but the truth is for us I think the two of us were mostly fascinated by how that specific relationship functions behind the scenes when you have the star of a show working hand-in-hand with the head writer of the show with history together and kind of building something together as a team. That’s what we’re interested in. We’re always – I mean, we just care about what we care about. We’re not playing clips and all that.

So, yeah, you know, I just feel bad because now people are like “We have this wonderful…” and we’re like, but why don’t – my favorite guest is no guest.

**John:** Yeah. That’s always a good one. But I think underlying this whole conversation is the growing realization that we are two white American guys.

**Craig:** Whoa.

**John:** So when we do bring on guests we’re always going to prioritize finding people who are not white American guys.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And so that’s another crucial function of guests so that it’s not just two white guys talking the whole time.

**Craig:** Yeah. And we appreciate the difference in perspective that we get from all of our guests, whether it’s something like, OK, well Julia is an actor and she’s working with a writer. And we’re not actors. Well, I am. [laughs] I’m obviously a great actor.

**John:** But you are an actor.

**Craig:** I’m just not as frequent of an actor as Julia is. So, I like hearing that perspective. But there’s obviously this base perspective factor and as Hollywood grows up and starts to widen its opportunities and interest in people who aren’t the standard white American cis gender male heterosexual guy, having people come on who don’t fit into this category is valuable. It’s an interesting discussion. Otherwise you end up with the equivalent of the meme of Spider-Man pointing at himself.

I mean, at the very least we have some vague diversity between ourselves. It’s not a ton, but it’s a little bit.

**John:** It’s a little bit, yeah.

**Craig:** It’s a touch. But, man, we’re a lot alike.

**John:** Yeah. All right, so let’s dig into some follow up. Last week we talked about the agency campaign. Got an email in from Matt who wrote, “Lest anyone doubt what was at stake. Early on in this process I find myself at a party with a prominent agent from one of the big four. He seemed cool enough so I took the opportunity to pick his brain about the dispute. Suspicious, he asked if I was WGA. I said no, just aspiring. ‘Well don’t aspire to that,’ he said. ‘The WGA won’t even exist by the time we’re done with them.’

“He went on to characterize the WGA as a freakish stew of greedy, entitled, naïve folks who wouldn’t have a pot to piss in if not for the business savvy of him and his colleagues. He then called over his lawyer friend and they both confidently boasted that the law and common sense were on the agency side. The WGA’s total destruction was imminent.”

**Craig:** [laughs] This is pretty amusing. That may have been a prominent agent from one of the big four. But in the weeks leading up to kind of the terminus of our agreement with the agencies. I had a number of discussions with a number of agents and mostly what I was trying to get across to them was that they should take this seriously because it didn’t seem like they were.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I was just like do you guys understand what’s happening. I feel like you’re in a flood zone, there’s been an earthquake out there in the ocean, and you’re just like, “Nah, it’s going to be fine.” But once it happened there was nothing like this. They were very concerned and so I think this might have not been one of the people running one of those agencies.

What I find fascinating is how Glengarry Glen Ross macho these places are. And so the leadership projects this macho tough guy “we’re going to beat everyone to death and no one is going to have a pot to piss in blah-blah-blah” and all the people lower down on the ladder absorb this stuff culturally and start spitting it back out like it’s real. Well, a couple of problems with this kind of saying. A, it doesn’t matter if you aspire to the WGA or not. If you meet the conditions to join the WGA, welcome to the WGA. You’re in it whether you want to or not. So this agent apparently misunderstood a fundamental aspect of how this functions.

But also the WGA is a “freakish stew of greedy, entitled, naïve, oafs,” that’s literally all of their writer clients. That’s everybody. Everybody they represent is in the WGA. So that’s absurd. And that the WGA’s total destruction – the only entity as far as I can tell that can destroy the WGA other than the federal government would be the membership of the WGA voting to dissolve the WGA.

So, everything this person said was either hype or just raw stupidity. But I will say, Matt, this was not what I was hearing as we were heading towards the edge of disaster from real agents.

**John:** Yeah. I was hearing a little bit more of that sort of in the weeks leading up to it. And I think once the expiration date past, like once the 770 showrunners and high profile writers said they were supporting it, once it became more clear like oh-no-no we’re all taking it really seriously that did happen.

Looking back at it, what I understand a little better is that sometimes it’s hard to understand the other side’s framework, sort of how they’re seeing things. And I think there is a way in which – agencies are really top-down leadership. These are the people in charge and everyone is working for the people in charge. And I think they maybe thought that the WGA was more like that. That everyone was working for the leadership and didn’t understand that, no, no, no, the leadership is only there because of the people underneath it. And it’s not even like our federal “democracy” where there’s people in charge and voters for it. It’s like, no, no, they really are the same group and the same body. So that may have been one of the obstacles to get up to really understanding what the other side was talking about. They had a very different leadership structure and it was just hard for them to grasp where the energy for this was coming.

**Craig:** Yeah. They’re also as negotiation-oriented as they are on an individual basis when it comes to a kind of company level action, the only interactions they have on company levels competitively is with each other in either I’m buying you, or you’re trying to buy me, or I’m trying to destroy you and you’re trying to destroy me. They don’t have these institutional relationships like we have with the AMPTP where we are locked in a room and while we may punch each other we are also aware that at some point we have to hug. We have to.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Even if we pull knives out, at some point we have to agree.

**John:** We know we have to reach an agreement, because we have to get back to work for both sides.

**Craig:** Exactly. Because the WGA cannot buy the AMPTP. And the AMPTP cannot destroy or buy the WGA. So just culturally speaking that’s just bad dialogue. I don’t know how else to put it. That agent delivered bad dialogue. It was both not founded in fact or reality and it was on its face just absurd.

**John:** Yup.

**Craig:** Dumb.

**John:** Speaking of the AMPTP, this last week I put up a blog post looking at the Aladdin residuals. So this is something we talked about before on the show and I’m going to try to be pretty transparent about the residuals coming in on Aladdin.

And so in this last post I took a look at new media SVOD which is a really complicated just sort of messy category. Essentially it looks like it should just be the money that’s coming in for SVOD, so like the streamers. In the case of Aladdin it’s on Disney+. But actually a couple things get combined into one check. So it’s that, but it’s also money that’s coming in for like iTunes rentals. And so rather than sort of you could buy this movie on iTunes, but you can also choose to rent it on iTunes. If you choose to rent it it’s the money that comes in there.

And interestingly when a movie debuts as a purchase for – I’m trying to think of an example – like Mulan, this last Mulan, you could buy it on Disney+. That is also counted under this category. So, it’s a really big category. It’s our biggest category now in residuals.

And so I wanted to break that out. I actually had to get some clarification from the guild exactly what is covered in that check and what’s not. It’s probably a mislabeled category.

**Craig:** Yeah. And if you could choose, if you could pick up a phone and call somebody who is contemplating purchasing Aladdin in one form or another, and tell them what would be best for us it would be for them to rent it.

**John:** Yup.

**Craig:** Because our rental rate for Internet is our best residual rate. Period. The end.

**John:** It is. So if your kid wants to watch Aladdin five times–

**Craig:** Rent it five times.

**John:** Realistically, five times pays me a lot more money than if you’re buying it once. But you do you. But just if you want to pay me that.

**Craig:** Renting it once may pay as much as buying it once. It’s a lot more.

**John:** Yeah. It’s a lot.

So, it’s an interesting case right now where some of these movies like Mulan or Raya and the Last Dragon will be another situation like this where they were designed for theatrical but now they’re being released both online and theatrically and sort of this premium video on demand.

Normally we would get no money for that theatrical release. Like as a screenwriter we don’t get paid anything for that, but we will get money for – it’s animation, so it’s sort of a weird – don’t count Raya and the Last Dragon. But Mulan with is live action, we do get money for that. And so it’s a case where the screenwriter actually is coming out a little bit ahead because it’s debuting in both markets.

**Craig:** Yeah, I mean, the calculus that we – I don’t know how you even perform this.

**John:** It’s so tough.

**Craig:** The theatrical release is the best possibly advertisement for the ancillary market afterwards. If there is no theatrical release are as many people going to purchase or rent it as otherwise would? I have to think yes. I have to think that the combination of people who are generally interested and the combination of people who didn’t have an opportunity to see it otherwise in the theater all together would – should – hopefully equal or exceed the theoretical larger audience that would have been driven by a big theatrical experience.

**John:** Yeah. So the natural sort of final question here is because Aladdin is a Disney+ only feature, like you can only now see it on Disney+. You can buy it through iTunes but you can’t see it on Netflix or anywhere else, it’s Disney charging Disney+ a license fee for it. And so like how is that a fair negotiation? How do you know that they are actually going to be paying a fair amount considering it really is self-dealing? And that is just complicated.

And so the guilds will try to find comparable pictures and they’ll argue over where that money is, but that’s going to be a thing we need to watch year-after-year to figure out how we’re going to fairly calculate this price when it’s not available on the open market.

**Craig:** Yeah. And that is an area where we may be able to follow some high profile private legal actions. There were a spate of these in the ‘90s where people who had made television shows for say 20th Television, like Steven Bochco, then said well hold on a second. Fox is now running old episodes of whatever, Hill Street Blues or something, and they’re not paying the market price for syndication. They’re basically making a sweetheart deal with themselves and thus my income is being reduced because I get a percentage of that.

So there were some huge lawsuits and I believe the settlements were such that naturally, yes, they were sweetheart self-dealing. If that continues in this new world I can definitely see some pretty high profile people who are making money off of the streaming side from residuals going after these places and helping to define how a fair market price is defined. And then perhaps the guild can kind of draft behind that.

**John:** Absolutely. That would be the hope. And that’s the thing that would ultimately come into an AMPTP negotiation probably. Finding some system for how we’re going to do that. Because at a certain point there won’t be comps anymore. There won’t be comparable pictures to even look up and say oh that’s like this movie. When everything is made for a streamer there really are no comps. Or everything is made for Disney, then Disney+, it’s hard to figure out what the fair market value of that picture would be.

**Craig:** Yeah. We don’t even know how reliable the data is at this point. Every Netflix show is the most watched Netflix show ever. Have you noticed this? [laughs]

**John:** Uh-huh.

**Craig:** Literally every single one they can just stop and go this new show is the most watched Netflix show of all time. And I’m like but there was just one last week that was the most watched. They just make it up.

**John:** They do.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Back in Episode 487 we talked about assistant pay. A listener wrote in to say, “I want to point out that a couple of the agencies only raised or reinstated pay after they fired a large number of assistants early on in the pandemic.” And so it links to ICM and UTA who both raised salaries but had also done layoffs earlier on. So the listener says, “They claim to be paying more now, but likely their overall costs have remained the same for those support staff places.”

Yes, I think that’s actually probably true. And a thing that’s going to be not just even the film and television industry, but sort of like nationwide, it’s going to be interesting to see as we come out of this pandemic whether a lot of support staff positions just don’t exist after the pandemic.

**Craig:** I think this is actually possibly OK. First of all, there’s a big difference between firing and laying off. When you lay people off that means you’re eliminating the job itself. Firing is I don’t want you doing this job. I’m going to hire somebody else to do it. Laying off is I’m eliminating the job.

But let’s talk this out for a second, listener. What you don’t want is for them to say, “Look, the way we look at assistant pay is on the aggregate. So we’re going to spend more on assistants, but we’re going to hire a lot more – we’re going to create new assistant positions,” so that number gets watered down over lots and lots of people.

If there’s a contraction to justify the increase in wages, OK, like you’re saying. Maybe their overall costs are constant. They laid a bunch of people off. They raised the salary of the remaining people. I think this is probably good because in general the arc of these things is to grow. These companies are designed to grow, not contract. And every time you set that number higher the chances that it stays that way as it expands go way, way up.

So, while in the short term this may feel like a wash, I think heading into the future it bodes well that there is an established number. And that established number also informs how their competitors pay. Everybody theoretically starts to rise with the tide.

**John:** I agree with you there.

All right, we talked a couple times about the eight sequence structure. We made fun of it originally, then we had some clarification on it. Gregory wrote in this last week with some more context about what he learned from Frank Daniel who later on became dean of the USC film school. And so Gregory says that Frank used to talk about acts in move emerging from the viewer’s experience of watching the movie. And that’s actually why I put this in here, because I think this is kind of cool.

Daniel would talk about how at a certain point fairly early on in watching a movie you as the viewer come to understand what the whole movie is going to be about and what the main tension is going to be. For Frank that was at the end of act one. At a later point you finally realize how the movie is going to end, and what the climax will be. And for Frank that was the end of act two. So then you know you’re in act three when you had a feeling or sense that you were moving really to the ending or a climax.

So, what he’s describing is really kind of from the viewer’s perspective and it doesn’t sound as gross and formulaic as what we made fun of before. Gregory says that his recollection of the eight structure was that “Frank wasn’t teaching it as a formula, but more of an approach to screen storytelling that had emerged from the early days of 35mm filmmaking, which when you think about it,” we haven’t talked about this on the show I don’t think is that movies used to come in reels. And so there were blocks of about 15 to 20 minutes and that was a reel of film. And you’d have to splice them all together to form a print that you were actually sending out to places.

And so even when you and I were first starting in the business they still talked about reels. And they still talked in editing about reels. And it was just like a chunk of time. And probably that idea of an eight sequence structure really came from the mechanics of how movies used to physically kind of work. And that it sort of carried on through there. But Gregory is saying that even this guy who was teaching eight sequence structure was really teaching it more as like an historical artifact and a way of teaching rather than a way of this is how you should write a script.

**Craig:** Well, I read this and I don’t know – I didn’t go to USC, or any film school, and I don’t know who Frank Daniel is. I looked him up. I don’t think he himself was a professional writer, although I could be totally wrong about this. Like I said, I’m not aware of him. But this also does sound like an analysis aspect. It’s a point of view of the movie has been written, then shot, and then edited, and then presented. And now I am talking about how I’m experiencing it. And so it, too, feels vaguely like a critical point of view rather than a creative point of view.

But I started talking about this with my associate here at work, Bo Shim, and she started to say something that I thought because she went to NYU and she went through these programs and did experience this. And so she started saying something and I’m like, wait, stop, you’re coming on the show. So, Bo, welcome aboard.

**Bo Shim:** Hello.

**Craig:** Hi. OK, so you had a reaction when we were talking about, or we started to talk about this eight sequence structure. And correct me if I’m wrong, when you were at NYU this was something that was taught to you.

**Bo:** Not exactly like the eight sequence structure or whatever, but I think every film school probably teaches you a certain structure or formula or something to follow to that extent.

**Craig:** And what was your feeling about it?

**Bo:** I think looking back I feel like maybe it hindered my process a little bit just because at least for me it was sort of distracting me from thinking about characters and having characters actually behave like real people. And it was just so much focus on hitting certain points in the plot and I really felt like I had to ingrain this in my system because, well first of all you’re young and you’re impressionable and you’re at a place that’s supposed to teach you everything there is to know about screenwriting. And so you’re like, OK, well I have to really digest this and make this part of my writing process.

But I don’t know. My brain just never latched onto it. It was just like not getting it. And I would never have the right answers for when people were like when does this happen at exactly this point in the structure. And I thought I don’t know.

So, for me I don’t know that having this formula or trying to look at it from breaking it down in a scientific way or whatever didn’t quite work for me. The biggest relief was when someone just finally said it’s just a beginning, middle, and end. That’s really it.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And so, Bo, you went through film school much more recently than anyone else on this call. So, when you’re talking about eight sequence structure or structure in general was it at the beginning of your screenwriting class, or pretty late into your screenwriting class? Because I wonder if in some cases we’re trying to teach structure before we’ve even gotten to the mechanics of like how scenes work and how characters work and conflict. Where was it in the sequence for you?

**Bo:** Definitely I think early on, probably like Screenwriting 101, like the first year or two. That’s where they I think try to teach you the structure. And I get it because it’s partly like you have to know the rules to know how to break the rules and all those things. And you have to start somewhere, especially because it’s in an educational setting. So, it get it. But I feel like that thing never really left. That feeling of having to have the structure and conform to it.

And it’s also confusing because you learn about structure but then you go and watch an art house film and you’re like this doesn’t line up either. So, I don’t know. Yeah.

**Craig:** It’s understandable the way Gregory is putting it here that here’s the guy who is the dean of the USC film school and he’s saying, “Look, this is generally speaking how I think about movies when I watch them in terms of their structure after it has been created.” But it really is vaguely about beginning, middle, and end. And it’s not a hard and set formula and all that.

The problem is that you have students who are going to school. And they have been trained since five years old how to learn. Schools have trained them how to learn. And the way you learn is the teacher gives you rules and you follow the rules and you get an A. Even down to essay writing. Theme. Example. Example. Example. Conclusion.

**John:** Oh my god, when I have to read a five paragraph essay and it’s following a strict formula it’s just so painful to read.

**Craig:** It’s brutal. Because it is a dead thing. And so even if they are saying these things, the fact that they are teaching them they have to know on some level that the students are going to do what they think they’re being asked to do. Because there’s going to be a test. And if you’re testing them you’ve already failed as far as I’m concerned.

And there’s something, you know, as you’re talking about it Bo I think you’re touching on this interesting pedagogical aspect of all this which is they’re a school. They’ve got to teach you something. But secretly surely in some small smoke-filled backroom at all these places they must be admitting to each other that they have no idea what to teach because maybe this isn’t exactly teachable in a school setting, which would be very upsetting to all the people paying the insane tuition for it all.

Well thank you. That is a good perspective to have. I wasn’t thinking about it from that point of view.

**John:** Yeah. Thanks Bo.

**Bo:** Thank you.

**Craig:** Thanks.

**John:** I was just on a Zoom today talking through some stuff at USC Film School and sort of thinking about the future of sort of teaching film and teaching filmmaking. And one of the things I did really appreciate about what Gregory was describing here is that I do like that it’s focused on what the reader or viewer is going to get out of it. And it reminds me like when I went through journalism school we were taught news format and it’s just as painful as five-paragraph essays or classic screen structure where you’re hitting these beats and having do these things in a pyramid structure. But then when you go on to magazine writing it’s just like, no, it’s totally different. And it’s very much about what is the reader expecting and how do you build in the surprises and let the reader know sort of what’s going on.

It feels like that. It’s understanding that a person is going to be having an experience watching this thing, or reading this thing, and you want them to feel comfortable and then feel surprise and sort of know where it’s going and have a sense of where they are in the story. And that is another way of looking at structure.

We always talk about structure as sort of when things happen, and it’s when you want the reader or viewer to understand how this is going to resolve.

**Craig:** Yeah. Maybe why I think I probably get so grouchy about these things is that there are a lot of people who are teaching it and there are a lot of people who are learning it. All I know empirically is that I’ve written a whole lot of movies, and some television, and I’ve never once known about this, or thought about this. Nor was I taught it.

So I have empirical evidence that it is unnecessary. That’s probably at the root. Other than my genetic grumpiness, that’s at the root of my grumpiness.

**John:** But you know who else is grumpy?

**Craig:** Segue Man.

**John:** This is something, my friend Dustin sent me this link. This is Zak Jason who is writing for Wired.

**Craig:** I read this. This is great.

**John:** He’s writing about how in Emily in Paris “the camera lingers on a shot of her screen long enough to make clear there are no previous messages in her thread. It’s surely not creator Darren Star’s intention, but viewers are led to believe, sacre bleu, that ‘Hey, how is Paris?’ is the first text she’s ever received from her long-term boyfriend.”

And Dustin’s question for me was like well whose responsibility was it to get that text screen to look just right or to decide that there would be no other texts on it, and the answer is it’s kind of everyone and no one’s decision. It’s the director, but it’s also the editor. It’s when you decided to do this thing. And we’re still figuring out how are you even going to show text messages on screen reliably. Apparently Emily in Paris does it multiple ways.

So, I just thought it was an interesting observation and it’s something that has kind of driven me crazy, but I’ve never actually commented on it before.

**Craig:** Yeah. It is ridiculous. And I understand and Zak Jason points out he understands, too, why they do this, because they don’t want the viewer to be distracted by prior messages in a text thread. I understand that.

But this, first of all, I think it is the responsibility of either the art department or the VFX department to talk to the writer about filling that screen. And I really love Zak’s point that there is an opportunity in the prior texts to drop little hints or deliver things for the careful audience that loves to kind of screenshot and share and discuss on the Internet.

You can also kind of cheat a little bit by filling some of that with just a silly back and forth emoji thing, or a gif. You know, gifs are a little tricky because of clearance, but there could be just four emojis in a row where people are having a little emoji fight. Whatever it is. You don’t have to just blast it all with text.

But it’s not a bad idea to think through this because it is stupid. Nobody is receiving a text from the first time from anybody that matters ever in a show unless it’s literally someone you just gave your number to.

**John:** Yeah. And so it is not – when you are first writing the script you are not going to include everything else that’s on that screen. You’re just going to include the thing. But it’s in the context of everything else. Just like how in a script if you’re in a bedroom you’ll single out the bed if it’s important, but you’re not going to list everything that’s in the room because that’s just not a screenwriter’s job especially at that stage of the thing. You have to really choose what you’re going to focus on. But that stuff around it is important.

So I think back to you talk about the art director’s job. The production designer for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was Alex McDowell and he emailed me, god, I guess it was an email, but it felt even early for email days, to ask, “OK, I’m designing this wall that has all of the headlines and clippings about Willy Wonka. And here are some things that I’m thinking about doing. Rewrite anything you want and we’ll create everything.” And that was terrific and I actually could fill in some backstory there because I had that choice of like, OK, the camera is going to pan across this. We can see some stuff. We can actually gather some information.

And that really feels like that’s what this text screen should be.

**Craig:** Yeah, I mean, it’s an opportunity. We will get these requests all the time when we’re doing things. If there’s something, like there’s a report that Legasov is reading in Chernobyl. So what should be in that report? Well, you know, I wrote some stuff and then we translated it. Because if anyone is going to stop and read that in Russian I want it to be a thing. I don’t want it to not be a thing.

There’s a wonderful, I think it’s called Not a Crossword. I think it’s @notacrossword on Twitter. So basically – because we are the fussiest of all people, the crosswords people – there’s this rash, this epidemic of crosswords in movies and TV shows, including some TV shows about crosswords, and they are not crosswords. Crosswords follow very specific conventions. Like no unchecked squares. And rotational symmetry. And you’ll just find these things that are like what the hell is that. And also sometimes they’re half filled-in and some of the things aren’t even words. They’re just putting letters in because they think no one will notice.

It’s awful. And it’s not hard to do it right. Just do it right.

**John:** Yeah. And I know we’ve complained about this on the show before, but it’s 2021 and I just feel like we have to resolve this problem. If an actor is carrying a cup of coffee in a scene, like a Starbucks cup of coffee, there needs to be something in it. Because Meryl Street could not carry an empty cup and convincingly let me believe that there is actually hot liquid inside there.

The only thing worse than that is when they have a tray of coffee that they’re theoretically carrying and it’s almost impossible. Megana was pointing out on Zoom she thought she had some sort of motor deficiency because she can’t do this thing that she sees being done all the time on television.

**Craig:** Where you wave your hand around with these tray of four coffees in it as if they won’t all go flying out?

**John:** And it’s just not a possible thing.

**Craig:** No. I hate it.

**John:** There are solutions to this. I’ve read about prop designers who have these sealed liquid things that can go in there so it has the weight and the slushiness of coffee and won’t make noise. We can do this. We can do it. Just the same way that paper bags in movies are now made of cloth so you don’t hear the rattling. It looks like a paper bag but it’s not actually paper.

We can do this. We can solve this problem. Let’s just all decide as an industry that we’re no longer going to let empty paper cups be shown on screen.

**Craig:** I mean, as simple as just take something with weight and glue it to the bottom of the inside of the cup and then put the lid on it so that there is weight. That’s all. If you can’t demonstrate the shifting factor of the weight, at least put some weight in there. Because it’s so dumb.

And also we have to teach actors how to fake drink coffee. It’s just – they can’t do it. It’s so weird.

**John:** Yeah. You’re an actor, Craig. So maybe you can start some classes.

**Craig:** Well, here’s the thing. My acting is so focused. [laughs]

**John:** That’s true. Absolutely.

**Craig:** I don’t spread my gifts around, so I can really focus.

**John:** Uh-huh. All right. We already brought up her name, but now it’s time to welcome Megana Rao, our producer on, because we have a whole ton of questions and she’s the only one who can actually ask these questions properly.

**Craig:** Of course.

**John:** Megana, welcome to the show.

**Megana Rao:** Hi guys.

**John:** Hi. Do you have your coffee in hand? Because there’s a lot of questions to get through.

**Craig:** Empty cup?

**Megana:** Yes, exactly. This is why representation matters.

**Craig:** Right. You’re representing the people that drink coffee that actually is coffee.

**John:** Get us started. We have a bunch here.

**Megana:** All right, so Tao in Paris writes, “I would like to hear what you guys have to say about voluntary awkwardness, both in comedy like The Office, and in drama like Requiem for a Dream or Black Mirror. It can sometimes be funny in a way but more often than not it’s sad and filled with pathos and personally makes me feel terrible. My levels of empathy, I’m hyper-sensitive, make me feel like I’m actually in the room when Anne Hathaway gives her terrible speech in Rachel Getting Married.

“I have a feeling that this fear I have for those situations in fiction as well as in real life could hurt my writing if I unconsciously shy away from them. How do you guys feel about this and how would you use those scenes?”

**Craig:** That’s interesting.

**John:** Yeah, Tao, that’s a good question. And a couple different ways I can approach this. First off, you have that natural instinct of you want to protect the characters you’re writing because you love them, so you want to protect them. And you have to get past that need to protect them because your job as the cruel god who is the screenwriter is to put them in bad situations so they can struggle and then flourish and hopefully succeed.

But you’re also aware that there’s kind of a contract with the audience you’re making. There are some things that I have a hard time watching because I just cannot stand to feel this cringey feeling of watching this character flounder and fail and sometimes you just haven’t signed on for that kind of moment.

And yet some of the iconic moments that I just love so much are those kind of moments. I think of Jon Favreau leaving the voicemail messages in Swingers which is just the cringiest thing possible and it’s delightful. So, I get it. I understand your fear. But you’re going to need to push past that if you’re writing the kind of story where this moment can really sing.

**Craig:** And that’s the if, right? I mean, because there’s nothing wrong, Tao, which being the sort of person that just doesn’t want to write that stuff. The reason we cringe at those things are we are seeing something that is shameful. And we know what that feels like. In that regard it is similar to watching a horror movie where someone is being stabbed. It’s the same kind of thing. We’re experiencing pain with them or fear with them.

Well there are a lot of people that don’t want to watch scenes like that of people being in physical pain. So it’s not surprising that there are also people that don’t want to watch scenes of people being in emotional pain or social pain I guess I would call it.

And if you don’t like it, don’t write it. You are not required to write that at all. There’s tons of stuff that does not rely on that. And I personally am not, you know, I’ve done some cringey stuff, but it’s not like my focus.

**John:** Yeah. And I think back to when you were doing the spoof comedies, in a weird way it’s kind of not cringey because the characters aren’t even aware that they are–

**Craig:** They’re so stupid.

**John:** That it’s shameful.

**Craig:** Or if they acknowledge it, it is acknowledged briefly and then forgotten instantly, which is something that David and Jim and Jerry did beautifully in Airplane! They kind of invented this mode of somebody doing something outrageous, then looking to the side, shaking their head like you know what that didn’t happen, and then moving on and it’s forgotten.

Whereas in The Office the power of those moments is when the camera doesn’t look away.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So it just stays with somebody as they soak in their own shame. And in that regard it’s a little bit like – there was a movie in the ‘80s called Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, and it’s a terrifying horror film based on real life serial killers. And there’s a scene where they go into a family’s house and they have one of those old, the old ‘80s style of shoulder cams, you know, the big cameras. And they put it down on a chair, so it’s sideways. And then they go about killing these people. And the camera you understand is no longer being held.

It’s stuck on a chair sideways. And so you know it’s not going to move. And you know it’s not going to change anything and it’s awful. Well that’s kind of the comedy version. To me it’s like comedy horror is cringe stuff. And if you don’t like it don’t do it.

**John:** Yeah. So, I was looking at some examples of cringey stuff. And so Borat is a great example of that in that Borat and his daughter in the case of this they are sort of like spoof characters. They don’t feel any shame at all. And everyone else around them they’re like oh my god I feel so bad for these people around them who are sort of caught up in this.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David is putting himself at the center of this cringe. He’s doing the horrible, embarrassing things and it’s just painful to watch because the camera is just lingering there. Same with Nathan for You. Although in Nathan for You Nathan Fielder seems to be oblivious to how cringey he’s making it for everybody else.

A show I really love and I think I’ve talked about on the podcast is Pen15 which manages to split the difference of having really relatable, likeable characters who although they do terrible, cringey things we still have deep empathy and love for them because it feels honest and real. And that’s a crucial distinction.

**Craig:** Yeah. I will always go back to the UK Office for just in my mind escalating cringe to a different level. And I love it. I loved it. I think it created a trend in its wake that maybe has gone a bit too far. But I’d never seen anything quite like it. And in that sense I was – it was like watching The Exorcist. I had never seen anything like The Exorcist. It completely screwed up my head. I’m traumatized. I will always be traumatized by The Exorcist.

But, of course, following The Exorcist were 4,000 very bad Exorcist rip-offs that had no impact on me whatsoever. So, yeah, you’re good Tao. You’re good.

**John:** Yeah. You’re good. Megana, help us out with another question.

**Megana:** OK, so Cade in Salt Lake City writes, “You talked about the difficulty of portraying the GameStop story because it mostly occurred online. As events occur less in person and more in the digital realm how will this change movies and television going forward? If you had to portray an online event, for example a Reddit board, how would you go about doing that?”

**John:** Great question. And we’ll soon see the results because I’m going to put a link in the show notes to Chris Lee has this piece for Vulture about the nine different GameStop projects in development.

**Craig:** Oh my god. [laughs]

**John:** So it just keeps escalating and there’s more and more and more.

**Craig:** Oh, this is why there should just be one week called GameStop Week where they all just come out. How about that?

**John:** And notably he talked to a bunch of people involved and everyone keeps going back to The Big Short as a reference for sort of how to do it. Great, that’s an approach.

So let’s talk about this bigger issue of how do you portray a story when these people are not in a room together. You have characters who are not interacting in a natural way. Craig, you went though some of this with Chernobyl because you had to in some cases invent a character who was a composite, or was able to be in rooms with people even though her role would have actually been diffused among many, many other people.

**Craig:** Yeah. But all those people were in those rooms. So everything was taking place in reality. It is tricky to capture the action of something like a Reddit board. The back and forth text-only response/reply, threading, up-voting, down-voting, all that stuff is very experiential and in the moment. It’s all based entirely in the text as it goes by. It doesn’t have much of an expiration date on it. It’s really about the moment. I have to say this is one area, Cade, where I feel like John and I – and I don’t want to speak for John on the podcast, I’ll speak for myself. I may be too old to see how it is going to work. That there are people right now growing up inside of it who are going to invent the way to narratively express this and therefore connect with the people who grew up with it as well.

Sometimes that’s what kind of has to happen. I don’t know if I would ever have a new or exciting way to do this. I would probably just do what most people my age would do which would be to ask these simple questions – who are the interesting characters involved? How can I see their real life away from the Reddit board? How can I understand how they got to where they are? Show me their spouse. Show me their kids. Tell me their history. Let me see the impact of the ups and downs in their real life. Real life. Real life. Real life. And just sort of ignore the Reddit board.

But I feel like maybe younger writers would know how to shoot that war. Because it’s kind of like a little war.

**John:** Yeah. So we have gotten better at being able to show things happening onscreen and how they impact real life. And be able to follow cinematic storytelling that’s happening only onscreen. So we have limited examples, but some good examples of just like, hey, you have to watch the whole screen to sort of see what’s happening. And we can do it. How you really convincingly get that to work on paper is still challenging. And how the screenwriter does some of that stuff is challenging. But I agree there’s probably a generation who is going to figure out that as both the cinematic grammar and the narrative grammar for how we’re doing that.

But the larger issue of like what is the story we’re telling is a little bit more classic. And we have to figure out are we telling the story from the beginning to the end. Or are we sort of breaking it into little pods and letting each separate storyline play out? Does it really want to be a two-hour experience that’s all watched in one sitting, or is it a kind of cumulative impact the way that a lot of our streaming series are where things build on itself and it can loop back. And there are connections being made between episodes that wouldn’t work the same way in a strict narrative feature.

All these things are possible and the reason why different versions of this story may be successful is because they’re figuring out the right way to make that happen. I go back to Argo. Argo has very separate storylines of the Hollywood people trying to figure out how to do this thing and the actual hostage situation. They ultimately crossover, but you are intercutting between these two things and sort of disconnected stories. And there may be a way to do that in this that feels appropriate. Just finding out what are the thematic handoffs between them that are going to make it feel like you’re really in the same narrative universe.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, maybe there’s a version of this where you just don’t bother being realistic about it. You just grab what is exciting or dramatic about the flow of a Reddit board, just create a space, a room, and put a whole bunch of people in it who we understand aren’t really there and have them just start yelling at each other.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Or agreeing with each other.

**John:** Like Mr. Robot does a really good job with onscreen stuff. And yet it mostly puts people in rooms talking.

**Craig:** There you go. What’s next, Megana? I can’t wait.

**Megana:** OK, great. Well, so Perry asks, “My question is about the difference between selling and optioning a script. I recently completed my first feature length spec and I’m fortunate to know several high profile writers and directors who have offered to help me traffic it into the right hands. I’m beginning to meet with top agencies about representation and I’m being told to expect it to sell fast. But my goal is not to sell my scripts but also to produce them and eventually to direct. I’m interested in participating in the filmmaking process beyond the script stage.

“A friend has told me that in that case it’s better to option the script so that I remain attached. Whereas with a sale you’re essentially reneging your stake in the outcome of the film? What’s the deal? How do you propose I move forward when I’m meeting with these agencies?”

**John:** OK, so I’m hearing two very different questions.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** I’m hearing the difference between a sale and an option which we should just define because not everyone listening to this will know the difference between a sale and an option. And then we need to talk about Perry and his excitement about what’s happening, because I’m excited for Perry but I’m also wanting to – I don’t want to poke any balloons. I want to sort of–

**Craig:** I want to come him down a little bit. Or her. I don’t know if Perry is a boy or a girl, but yeah, Perry is getting a little excited here and I want to be the old wet blanket. I have no problem doing that.

**John:** Yeah. We both – I think we are getting the exact same sense. We’re like, oh, no, no, no.

**Craig:** Slow your roll.

**John:** Temper. But let’s talk about sale versus option because this is a crucial fundamental thing that people need to understand. So, Craig, can you talk us the difference between a literary sale of a spec script and an option?

**Craig:** Yeah. Sale basically says I’m going to take money from you and you now have the copyright to this work. It doesn’t matter that I wrote it. Now it’s yours. If it’s a book that they’re not directly turning to film but have to adapt then they are buying the film rights they’re saying. And typically those are expressed as this. I give you this money and then I have the right, the exclusive right, to make a film of this book for perpetuity throughout the known universe. It literally says dumb crap like that. Sometimes you can make a rights sale that is based on a cycle where it actually has an end date. And then the rights revert back to you.

An option is basically the right to represent literary material for sale exclusively. So, for instance, a producer says I’m optioning your novel. Or I’m optioning your screenplay. That means that I’m the only person who can broker a sale of this material to a buyer. I am attached to it. I am part of this project. We develop it. So typically if you’re developing something together then you want to say, look, you can’t just go off and marry somebody else. We are now engaged I guess is how I’d put it.

But you have not yet actually done the sale. And options are typically bounded by time periods. I have an option for a year. So I’m the producer of this for the next year, unless I can’t sell it, at which point you have the option to make another option, or go our separate ways.

**John:** Yeah. And so if you’re writing an original piece of material and someone is buying it, they could be buying it outright, which is an outright sale. Or very likely it is an option. And generally in that option price there’s also a bullet point that says we can at any time choose to buy out all the rights for this set amount of money.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Which is useful. So in the case of Big Fish, Sony optioned the underlying book. I wrote the script. And when it came time to make the movie they said, oh great, now we will pick up the option, which is basically buying out the rest of the rights that they needed to buy out. And they already had a predefined purchase price to do that. They could send over a check and they owned all the underlying rights to it.

**Craig:** It’s like a down payment almost.

**John:** Absolutely. Now, Perry, the person optioning versus buying outright your script, I don’t know that you generally have more leverage – and people can write in if they’ve had different experience with this – but I would say I don’t think you necessarily have more leverage to be attached to direct or not in an option agreement versus a sale agreement. I don’t think those are necessarily strongly correlated.

Here’s a way to think about it. The bigger the check they’re having to write to buy this thing, the less likely they are to say, “Oh, yes, we’re going to take a chance on you, potentially a first time director, to do this thing.” That’s not as likely to happen.

So, the amount of money involved may make them more apt to pushing you aside I guess. But there’s nothing inherent about an option versus a sale that makes you more likely to be attached to direct it.

**Craig:** I think your friend has got it backwards. My feeling is that you will never have more leverage than when you have a full screenplay that they want to purchase. At that point you can ask for all sorts of stuff. You may not get it. And they may also say, well, if you’re going to be the director we’re not going to pay you as much as we would if you would agree to not be the director.

But that will be more leverage because the script is done. If you’re working on the script, or you’re still continuing, the option just means that whoever just optioned it they have the right to purchase it when they so desire. And I don’t know how that gets you more leverage. I mean, maybe you have that with the producer. The producer when buying it is saying that you have to be the director. But then you’re right back in the same box as you would be when you have to sell the script to somebody else. Because the producer is not going to be financing the film. They’re going to be selling it, again. Right? They’re going to sell it because Warner Bros is going to need to own it. Not the producer who has optioned it.

**John:** In the case of an indie maybe that original producer is going to really be the person, but in most of the standards we’re talking about they’re going to sell it onto some other entity. And so they need their paperwork clear for that.

The only spec script I’ve ever sold actually is Go, my first thing that was produced. And in that case I said, no, I want to be attached as a producer, and they were like great. And so I didn’t well it for a lot of money, but I stayed on as a producer and they were true to their word and I learned a lot about it. And I think, Perry, that may honestly be what you should be looking for.

Let’s say the opportunity does come up for you to sell this script. It sounds like what you want to be doing is not trying to optimize for the most cash dollars sale, but for the buyer or optioner who is committing to keeping you as involved as possible because it sounds like that’s more important to you than the money.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, you have a script and lots of people want it, then they’re going to be willing to play ball with you. And if you want to be the producer don’t option it to somebody. Be the producer.

**John:** So, Craig, now it’s time for us to talk about why Perry is getting ahead of himself on some of his thinking.

**Craig:** A few red flags here. So, as we hear these questions, just because Perry we are old dogs. We’ve been around awhile. So there are a bunch of red flags that pop up.

Red flag number one. “I know several high profile writers and directors who have offered to help me traffic it into the right hands.” Or they just said that.

Two. “I’m beginning to meet with top agencies.” Don’t say top agencies. It’s weird. This is not a time to be kind of braggy and oversell-y. Just agencies. I got to be honest with you. A top agency, OK, CAA is a top agency. If you get assigned a junior agent at CAA who has just come off someone’s desk it’s not as good as having the partner agent at a smaller agency. It’s just not.

You’re not represented yet. You’re beginning to meet about representation. And then biggest red flag of all. “I’m being told to expect to sell it fast.” Yeah, that’s kind of what they say.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** You know, the Hollywood cliché of everybody talking fast and making big promises and yada-yada- yeah-yeah-yeah. You want to be a pessimist. You don’t want to be a pointless pessimist. You don’t want to be a downer or a self-defeater, but you do want to be somebody who is at least skeptical. And who absorbs the reality of the odds. People lose these things the day before they’re supposed to happen. There are deal that fall apart seconds before you would have signed the deal.

**John:** Mm-hmm.

**Craig:** You are not represented by anyone until you are. No one has sent the script to the right people until they have. And it has definitely not sold until it does. People would say to me when I was writing a script early in my career like, “Do you think it’s going to get made?” And I’m like, well, it’s green lit. But I’ll believe it when I’m at the premiere. This is literally what I would say. Because there’s a thousand ways for things to just not happen.

Take a couple hours, Perry, if you can, my advice, and watch a documentary called Overnight. Because it is the most vivid cautionary tale about exuberance in this business.

**John:** And it is an example of cringe.

**Craig:** Oh yeah.

**John:** Like we talked about earlier on this episode. Because you watch this guy making these choices and everyone is telling him certain things and you just know it’s not going to go that way. And it becomes really uncomfortable when it doesn’t go that way.

So, absolutely worth watching. The other thing I want to stress is that there’s a range of success that’s not like, oh, you sold it for a ton of money, or it’s going to sell fast. It may not sell. But if you’ve written a script that people are excited about and people are reading and are passing around you will get meetings out of this and you will get other work. And that seems to be your overall goal. So, just – to sell this would be fantastic, but there’s a lot of success short of selling it where you’re getting into these rooms and getting the opportunity to pitch on projects and make relationships. That should really be your goal. So, make sure you’re keeping that range of success open there for yourself.

**Craig:** We did an episode a while back about professionalism, what it means to be professional. And I still believe that in the long run you are better served by being a bit more restrained about how things are going. Because there are a lot of people that talk in a big way and there are so few that deliver.

And if you deliver you don’t need to talk in a big way. And you will be respected that much more for not kind of telling people how well it’s going. And we don’t mean to pick on you. I’m sure you’re a great guy or a great lady. 100%. You’re just sort of maybe trying to let us know that this is real. And maybe sometimes that’s all you need to say.

Just be careful. We’re not scolding you because we think you’ve done something wrong. We’re actually more like parents who are scared about their kid who is playing a little too close to traffic. So, just be careful, because everyone is constantly telling you how wonderful everything is and how great it’s going to be until they stop. It’s really precarious out there.

**John:** Yeah. Now Megana I’m looking at the list and Kevin has a question here that I feel is right on topic here. So maybe let’s get to Kevin’s question and sort of wrap up this selling success kind of thing.

**Megana:** Great. Kevin wrote in and said, “I’m in a weird situation with my agents and could use some help. I recently sold my first spec pilot to a big streamer. The pilot has a highly respected producer and director attached. I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve simultaneously been developing another TV project at a very small production company. The company belongs to an actress and doesn’t have many big projects under its belt.

“The actress isn’t a superstar, but she’s not an unknown either. The company wants to pitch the project in a few months. Now that my spec has sold my agents at one of the big three want me to kill the second project. Their reasons are they don’t think it will sell and are scared I’ll lose momentum coming off the spec sale. They don’t believe the actress’s production company is a meaningful attachment. The project is different in tone than what I usually write. And they want me to develop other projects more in line with my spec sale.

“My question for you is are they right to tell me to kill the project? It’s relatively early in my relationship with these agents. And I started developing the pitch before I signed with them. Am I risking alienating them?”

**John:** And I’ve known people who have been in exactly Kevin’s situation. Where they have this heat here, but they still have these older projects that are lingering. My instinct is to listen to your agents, because they do have a sense of things, but to keep doing the project with the actress if you truly love and believe in the project.

If you’re sort of iffy on it, then this might be a good time to say goodbye to that project. Craig, what’s your instinct at what Kevin is describing?

**Craig:** Exactly in line with yours. I think that, well, you’ve got to ask yourself a really honest question Kevin. When you started working on this other project were you doing it in part because you were in kind of got to do anything and everything mode? And were you attracted to the notion of working with somebody who is at least a known quantity that would feel like maybe it was a thing. Because if those were the big drivers as opposed to the actual material itself your agents are absolutely right.

I’m not – look, they’re going to always try and get you to basically write spec sale part two, because they love certainty, and that’s not great advice. Develop other projects more in line with your spec sale is a pretty broad category. So, you know, I understand that. Different in tone, well, you know, these days I think if you can do – if you can pitch lefty and righty, or hit lefty and righty go for it.

But I think the big one is they don’t believe the actress’s production company is a meaningful attachment. That’s just probably a fact. There are a lot of actors and actresses who have very small production companies just because literally anyone who can afford a business card can be a production company. And a lot of times they are themselves hustling just as hard as you’re hustling and you don’t even realize it.

If you do have momentum coming off the spec sale and it’s the kind of thing that you should maybe be steering into and this is going to distract you, they’re right. I wouldn’t worry so much about their feelings.

**John:** No. Don’t worry about the agents’ feelings.

**Craig:** Yeah. They’re not your friends anyway. They’re your agents. It’s different. You know, maybe one day you get to friendship with your agent, but not right now. Right now it’s just maybe they’ve got their eye on the ball on this one.

**John:** So here’s a thing that gets buried in the second sentence of your question but I think it’s actually the most important part of this question. “I originally sold my first spec pilot to a big streamer. There’s a producer and a director attached.” You’re theoretically going to make that show. That should be a huge portion of your life going forward. And you shouldn’t be banking on that show is going to happen, but if it’s going to be your first thing you’re going to learn how to do this show.

And what’s important for you to understand is, yes, your agency wants that show to happen, but they also want to just keep you working because they want more money coming in the door. They don’t have a big vested interest in you gaining the experience to run a show and do that stuff. You’ve got to prioritize that for yourself because that’s going to put you ahead. But that’s not going to generate extra dollars for them. You doing a really great job running that job doesn’t help them so much. So, you have to prioritize that for yourself.

**Craig:** Agents are good at some things. I give them a lot of crap but I have agents for reasons. I don’t think agents are particularly good judges of quality of material. I don’t. I don’t think, by the way, almost anyone is. But if an agent says, “My perspective on this particular actor or actress’s desirability and factorness when it comes to making a deal is this,” I listen carefully. Because that is what they know. Because they’re in that marketplace all day long.

There are agents that represent that actress. So they know what she can and can’t do. They know where she’s considered. It is an upwardly and downwardly mobile business. Unfortunately it’s mostly downwardly mobile for everyone. But there is upward mobility. People can change and grow. But if your agents have a pretty strong feeling about this that’s the kind of thing I do think it’s worth heeding. It’s sort of what they know.

**John:** Yup. I agree with you. I also want to commend you for contrasting with sort of the situation we ran into with Perry here. You say, “I couldn’t be more excited.” That’s the exact way to approach it.

**Craig:** There you go.

**John:** You’re not bragging. You’re saying I feel so lucky. This is so great. And here’s my next part of this. You’re not stopping with sort of the boast that this thing happened.

**Craig:** Yes. This felt correct.

**John:** So, Craig and Megana, I think we made a good dent in this question log, but we just have not gotten through – god, we got through like half of these.

**Craig:** Let’s come back next week and just do it again.

**John:** We’ll do it again.

**Craig:** We’ll do it again.

**John:** We’ll keep knocking them out. Megana, thank you so much for this.

**Craig:** Thanks Megana.

**Megana:** Thank you guys.

**John:** All right. It’s come time for our One Cool Things.

**Craig:** One Cool Things.

**John:** Craig, do you want to start us off?

**Craig:** Sure. I read an article that I just adored. And I adored it not because it told me what I wanted to hear, although it did, but because it tied back into a topic we’ve discussed a number of times and because I thought its perspective was really interesting. It’s at a site called Nautilus, which is sort of an essay science writing website. And it’s an article written by a fellow named Angus Fletcher. And it’s called Why Computers Will Never Write Good Novels.

And what he’s doing is digging into the fundamental difference between the way our brains work and the way computers work and kind of boils it down to a question of causality. That our brains function in a causal fashion. That the firing of A leads to the firing of Z. A causes Z. We have causal reasoning he argues is at the neural root of what we do. And therefore is the basis of our understanding and our ability to create drama.

Whereas computers are ultimately based on equations. This is this. This is this. So, A equals Z is not the same as A causes Z. Now, he goes into a kind of interesting analysis. I have no doubt that there are a hundred artificial intelligence students that are angrily banging out rebuttals to this. I have no doubt.

**John:** I started working on one even as you were speaking.

**Craig:** Of course. Well, you yourself are an AI. And I know that there are if/thens. Certainly that is there. But there is something very seductive about what he’s positioning here. And I must say I kind of work backwards a little bit in that what we’re seeing coming out of AI is not what we do. It is a fascinating adjunct to what we do. The question is is that simply a function of where it is on its timeline of growth and development or is it just always going to be fundamentally different because of the specific physical nature, physical differences, of how our thinking functions and how computers function.

So, anyway, you can decide for yourself Why Computers Will Never Write Good Novels: The Power of Narrative Flows Only From the Human Brain by Angus Fletcher at Nautilus.

**John:** Yeah. And so I have not read this piece yet, but I think I will approach it with the question of to what degree are we talking about pattern recognition? Because I feel like so much of what we do in storytelling is recognizing patterns and creating patterns and finding connections between things that would not necessarily be there. And increasingly where progress is being made in AI is really that pattern recognition. It’s being able to find connections between things that we wouldn’t necessarily notice.

And so I’m wondering if he’s describing the situation as it is now versus where it’s headed. So I look forward to reading it.

**Craig:** We shall see what you – I mean, this is a pretty meta thing where an AI reads an article about AI and argues whether or not it’s AI.

**John:** My One Cool Thing is a video by Negaoryx and maybe I can’t even butcher it because it’s just a Twitter handle. But talking through, so she’s an online gamer and she’s streaming and this guy in the chat says, “What color thong are you wearing?” And she starts to systematically destroy him and he’s like, “No, no, I’m just joking.” And then she destroys him further in a way that is just so well done. And she doesn’t break playing off the game at all. But systematically just takes it all apart and brings in Mike Birbiglia and John Mulaney and sort of other examples of actual what comedy is and how what this person is doing is not comedy.

It’s just a remarkably good encapsulation. It’s like a minute long. And totally worth your time in terms of looking at this moment right now in terms of what it means to troll and this defense of like “I’m only joking” as a way out of it.

And this led to the other link I’ll put in here for Schrödinger’s Douchebag which is a great way of describing a guy who says offensive things and then decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of the people around him.

**Craig:** Yeah, of course. Of course.

**John:** And that’s a thing that is just so currently a problem. Where the attempt to hide behind “I was joking” as a get out of jail free card.

**Craig:** Yeah. I would run into this occasionally on Twitter where somebody would say something awful and I would respond and then they would say, “Why are you even paying attention to somebody with two followers?” Like they would define themselves as a loser not worthy of response or attention after they said something designed to get response or attention.

So they were like blaming me for even noticing they were alive which is so deeply complicated and upsetting. Because then the level of poor self-esteem and self-image is kind of torturous.

**John:** Or is it a performance of low self-esteem? That’s the whole thing. You can’t–

**Craig:** No, I think it is low self – I think they were literally like, “Oh my god, you even looked at me?” They see a blue check mark and they’re like a Greek sailor talking out to Poseidon somewhere. They don’t understand we’re also people like them in every sense of the word.

There was a wonderful shocking but ultimately, I don’t know, encouraging interaction between Sarah Silverman–

**John:** Oh yeah. We’ll put a link to that. It’s just so good.

**Craig:** That was something else. Where there was somebody who just came after her in a very ugly way and she just sort of – she applied I guess the truest kind of form of Christianity which is to love thy neighbor and turn the other cheek. And it worked.

**John:** Yeah. And that was actually the only inciting incident, because you can follow their ongoing conversation and sort of how he got out of his – depression was actually a part of that, too, and sort of his own cycle of negative thinking. And so he’s a much happier person now.

**Craig:** Yeah. We really have yet to properly grapple with the multitude of toxic problems surrounding how social media functions. And specifically how it can be misused like a medicine by people who are not well.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And in doing so creating more unwellness, which is why, again, at this point now I’ve got my Twitter – I don’t tweet anymore. I just occasionally will look at like Stella Zawistowski’s cryptic clue of the week. So it’s really nice. I’ve got to say, I’ve really gotten it down to the bare minimum.

**John:** Very nice. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. Special thanks to Bo Shim. It was edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week was by Nora Beyer. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions like the ones we answered today.

For short questions, I’m on Twitter, @johnaugust. You can find me there.

We have t-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter called Inneresting which has lots of links to things about writing.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on cities versus small towns.

Craig and Megana, thank you for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thanks guys.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** All right, Craig, so Evan in Greece wrote in to say, “Hey guys, I would personally love some advice on moving. Do you think staying in a small town where life quality is better but not a lot is going on can hold you back, both career wise and experience wise? Should you just move out to the nearest big city?”

Craig, first take, big city/small town, where do you land?

**Craig:** Yes. [laughs]

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** The answer is yes, Evan. Yes. They both have something really good going for them and they both have something that is detracting going for them. You knew this was coming, Evan. You knew it. Greece is the home of philosophy.

**John:** The polis.

**Craig:** The paradox. Paradox I believe is a Greek word.

**John:** Oh yeah, it feels Greek.

**Craig:** We are inside of one right now, the great paradox of where to be.

**John:** So, a couple things I want to tease out of her. Small town/big city, but also you’re really coming to like should you leave the place you started. And I think you should leave the place you started. I think I’m pretty firmly in the camp of I think it is good to venture out from where you began so you can see the world outside of your home town. Whether that means leaving the big city you started in and going to somewhere else, or leaving a small town and going to the big city, you are the protagonist in your story and it is good to leave your home town as the protagonist so you see more of the world.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s this famous Internet clergy speech that they keep attributing falsely to one speaker or another, but one of the things is when you’re young you should live in New York before it makes you too hard. And you should get out of something before it makes you too soft. I can’t remember. But the point is you’re going to change as you grow. And the things that you need and the things you want are going to change as you grow.

So, after college I moved immediately to the big city. It wasn’t the nearest big city, but it was a big city. Came out to Los Angeles. Now, that was 1992. By 1997 my wife now, my girlfriend had become my wife, we were considering starting a family. We bought a home. But we stayed in Los Angeles until our son was just about one at which point we said, you know what, nah. We took a look at La Cañada which is smallish town north of the city and we just loved it because of the differences. The things that it could do that matched where we were in our life.

And so we moved there. Now, at this point right about now we’re talking now that we have one completely out of the house and one who is on the way we’re talking about moving back towards around where you live, John. Because it’s time. And you make changes. Yeah. There is no one correct answer there.

**John:** So I look back to my own story. So like you right after college I packed up my rusted Honda and drove out to Los Angeles and it was the big city. And it was overwhelming and difficult for all the reasons that I think are actually really helpful. I think it’s important to have some grit and adversity and challenge there because otherwise it’s just too easy to stay in your safe little comfort zone. And that’s good.

And I kept looking for the extra little bits of challenge along the way. So when I did Big Fish in New York for about three years I was off and on in New York and then for six months I was really living in New York. And it was rough. I mean, I had some money so it wasn’t as rough as sort of the classic four people in a studio apartment kind of situation, but it was challenging. You’re sort of never alone. You’re bumping up against people a lot. But that was good and I was glad to have those challenges.

When we moved to Paris for the year that was again about sort of finding a way to make life a little bit more difficult and to have some challenge ahead of you. So my husband are talking, even when my kid goes off to college we will probably move to some places that are going to be a little bit difficult for a time just so we can actually have some variation and some challenge there. It stimulates you. It helps you grow and sort of figure out stuff.

So, I do think it’s important to move some. Overall are big cities better than small town? Are small towns better than big cities? I agree with Craig that it’s sort of where you’re at in your life. But I think you should have some experience with both of them because it’s too easy to stereotype everyone in a big city is a certain way and everyone in a small town is a certain way. That doesn’t do anybody any favors.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, if there’s any vague kind of rule of thumb I suppose it would be that when you’re in a time of your life, when you’re looking for things to change and grow and expand and appear, cities are better. And when you’re looking for stability, peace, quiet, support, community, then small places are better. But you will always find the trade-outs. There’s just more crime in the city and there’s more indifference and more traffic. And in small towns there can be more intolerance and there could be more gossip and there could be more boredom. You’re just going to have to balance it. That’s the way it goes.

**John:** You’re going to find more live cultural events in a big city, just because there’s going to be opportunity. There’s a critical mass to do certain things, which is great and lovely. But, coming off of 2020 and us still being in this pandemic everyone is sort of in their own little small town. The benefits of living in a big city are kind of moot at this moment because it’s not like we’re getting to do all those live event situations. We are all in our tiny little towns of our homes. And it doesn’t kind of matter that much.

And it will be curious to see, you know, 2021 later and 2022 what LA feels like after this. And I don’t think that sense of – obviously a lot of businesses are already talking about like we may never go back to fulltime everybody in the office. And we may just start recruiting the best person for the job and not have them move to wherever our home base is, where our headquarters is. And that’s going to be a difference. But I don’t know that it’s going to necessarily change the advice for Evan in Greece because I think you should probably leave wherever you grew up so you see more of Greece and the rest of the world.

**Craig:** Side note, I think if things get back to the way they were, hopefully, through vaccination and so forth that it will go back to the way it was. That some people are going to be like, you know what, I don’t need to come into work. I can work from Zoom. And what’s going to happen is a bunch of people are going to be in the office and a few aren’t. And those people are going to start to feel iced out. They’re going to start showing up. It’s just inevitable. I feel like it’s just going to go back.

**John:** If it doesn’t happen it’s going to be because the companies actually made the decision that they didn’t want as much office space and they just wanted people there only two days a week. I think it would be a decision to sort of say like, no, you can only come in certain days. And just to sort of balance it out. Because I do think you’re right. I think if employee A is there five days a week and employee B is there one or two days a week, employee A is just going to have an advantage.

**Craig:** Yeah. That’s the way it goes.

**John:** Cool. Thanks Craig.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

Links:

* [TV Characters Don’t Have Text History. This Is Not OK](https://www.wired.com/story/texting-on-tv/) by Zak Jason
* [John’s post on feature residuals](https://johnaugust.com/2021/feature-residuals-and-the-mystery-of-svod)
* [Chris Lee for Vulture, on the GameStop projects in development](https://www.vulture.com/2021/02/inside-hollywoods-rush-to-make-the-first-gamestop-movie.html)
* [Overnight Documentary](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0390336/)
* [Why Computers Will Never Write Good Novels](https://nautil.us/issue/95/escape/why-computers-will-never-write-good-novels) by Angus Fletcher
* [Negaoryx Twitter Response to Trolls](https://twitter.com/negaoryx/status/1354147400160403457?s=21) and for reference [Schrödinger’s Douchebag](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s%20Douchebag)
* [Sarah Silverman Twitter Troll](https://www.menshealth.com/trending-news/a19545958/sarah-silverman-twitter-exchange/)
* Special thanks to [Bo Shim](https://twitter.com/byshim)!
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription!](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Nora Beyer ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/489standard.mp3).

Scriptnotes, Episode 487: Getting Staffed in 2021, Transcript

February 12, 2021 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2021/getting-staffed-in-2021).

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Today’s episode was recorded just a few hours before the WGA officially announced that it had reached a deal with WME thereby ending the two-year agency campaign. Now I promise Craig and I will talk about it all next week, including revealing the contents of that encrypted thumb drive I gave him backstage before our live show in Episode 431. You remember that. We set that up a long time ago and we’re going to pay off that set up I promise on next week’s episode. But today’s brand new episode is really good so listen to that and watch the feed because we might put out this next episode a little bit early if we get it recorded in time. Enjoy.

Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** Hello and welcome. My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 487 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show we unwind a Twitter thread with great advice on getting staffed as a writer on a TV show. And we look at the state of assistant pay in Hollywood. We then fulfill our cultural obligation as a podcast to discuss GameStop, specifically do we really need three movies about it. Plus, listener questions. And in our bonus segment for Premium members we’ll share awkward dating stories from our past.

**Craig:** Sorry. I was just getting coffee.

**John:** We’ll share awkward dating stories from our history.

**Craig:** That actually – you should keep that as it is because that was awkward. And I think it’s important to just own awkward moments. It really is. So I think that’s wonderful. Actually quite lovely. We had an awkward moment that was applicable. I love it.

**John:** Fully, fully applicable.

**Craig:** Love it.

**John:** Yes, exactly. Comedy comes from awkward moments and acknowledgement that the specific awkward moments are also a universal phenomenon.

**Craig:** They’re the best.

**John:** My present awkwardness is they are jackhammering a building behind my office right now, so if you hear some background noise that Matthew is not able to cut out that’s what you’re hearing is a jackhammer. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.

**Craig:** It’s not awkward. That’s just annoying.

**John:** No. It’s not been nerve-wracking all day. I’m not jangled.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** Nothing like that.

**Craig:** Nah.

**John:** In our crucial IP update the Uno Movie starring Lil Yachty was announced this week. So, the toymaker, Mattel, has announced a live action heist comedy is in development. It’s written by Marcy Kelly and set in the underground hip hop world of Atlanta with Grammy-nominated rapper Lil Yachty eyeing a starring role. So, phew, it’s good to have one piece of IP that has a plan. It didn’t announce who the studio was for it, but Mattel is on the case and naturally the Uno Movie is going to revolve around underground hip hop which is just a natural fit there.

**Craig:** I’ve got to say, like if you’re going to do it, right, you might as well just blow it up and do it. When I first read this article it seemed almost like someone had done Mad Libs. I need a noun. I need a famous rapper. I need a city. But, you know, I guess the point is what you can’t do – we know you can’t do this. You can’t do the cards come to light at night and number four is to figure out how to join the blue cards. Blech. So, screw it, let’s go all the other way and make it about Lil Yachty.

**John:** Yeah. We wish nothing but the best for Marcy Kelly and the whole team [unintelligible] and making this movie.

**Craig:** It’s a heist movie apparently.

**John:** A heist movie. Sure. We love a heist movie. Got a plan. So Uno joins the Mattel films in the works, including American Girl, Barbie, Hot Wheels, Magic 8 Ball, we’ve talking about before. Major Matt Mason, I don’t know who that it is. Is that a GI Joe kind of character?

**Craig:** Huh? Who? [laughs] Oh, ha-ha. OK. Matt Major. Matt Mason. I got to be honest that’s a WTF for me and you and I are not young, so we should know this. Unless is it a new thing?

**John:** It could be. But, I mean, it doesn’t feel like a new thing. It feels like a very old thing.

**Craig:** I’m looking it up right now.

**John:** Masters of the Universe. So, I would say that Masters of the Universe is a genuine IP in the sense of like they were characters. They were doing things. There was a cartoon I remember about it.

**Craig:** They made a movie before.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** With Dolph Lundgren.

**John:** Thomas and Friends. View-Master. View-Master is a strong contender there, because think about what View-Master is.

**Craig:** Oh my god, dude. Do you know, this is crazy.

**John:** Tell me about Matt Mason.

**Craig:** There needs to be some sort of intervention at Mattel. They’re out of control. Major Matt Mason was an action figure created by Mattel. He was an astronaut who lived and worked on the moon. When introduced in 1966 the figures were initially based on design information from a Life Magazine, Air Force Magazine, and other aviation and space interest periodicals. So this was before we landed on the moon, Major Matt Mason in 1966. Come on.

**John:** I’ve got to say I am genuinely fascinated by that idea because there’s some sort of like retro future thing where it’s just like it’s the ‘60s vision of what space would be like. There’s some kind of great comedy to make there. They’re probably not trying to make some great comedy there. I’m rooting for it. It’s Matt Damon in The Martian but he’s on the moon and, yeah, it’s great.

**Craig:** Well, maybe if there is some sort of – or if there’s an amazing nostalgic take that’s like meta or something. Here’s the point. You can do something interesting and creative with just about anything. The question is why that thing. So, one thing that these companies do in a strange way that is I think not terrible for artists is it limits the artist’s focus to a thing, like we can sit around and – I can write 100 different things. I can write anything I want. Well here comes a company saying, “Or, here’s a puzzle. Figure this out, smart guy. Major Matt Mason.” And you go, well, I’ve got an idea. You’ve focused my attention.

So, you know, Wishbone. What the hell is Wishbone?

**John:** Wishbone I believe is a dog. Let’s see what Wishbone is.

**Craig:** Oh golly.

**John:** It could be an American salad dressing. It could be a football formation, obviously.

**Craig:** Of course.

**John:** A computer bus. Is a boom for wind-surfing?

**Craig:** It’s the clavicle of a bird.

**John:** In popular culture, American children’s program. I bet it’s the American children’s program. Let’s click through that Wikipedia article.

**Craig:** Wishbone.

**John:** And yet I don’t see any Mattel connection to Wishbone. So, I don’t know.

**Craig:** Do you think that they think they own the bone? [laughs]

**John:** Yeah. That’s possible. I’m finding an article from July 15, 2020 which is that there’s a Wishbone movie in the works from Mattel and Universal. This is a Variety article. So there’s something here.

**Craig:** I’m going to get an angry phone call now. Stop bagging on our Wishbone movie. I’m not!

**John:** It’s about a Jack Russell Terrier. So now we know.

**Craig:** Oh, OK. So he was a dog. It’s a dog movie.

**John:** It’s a dog movie.

**Craig:** Fine. Great. Wishbone. Mattel.

**John:** Yeah. Uh, OK.

**Craig:** Huh?

**John:** In further follow up, in one of our Three Page Challenges last week we looked at a scene in which a character got electrocuted when using a vibrator. And you and I both expressed skepticism about that scene.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** Some of our listeners wrote in including Kate from LA and many of them were pointing towards the Hitachi Magic Wand which does in fact plug in and therefore could conceivably electrocute someone if used in a bathtub. So I want to acknowledge that, sure, there was some cis male bias here in our ignorance of this plug in vibrator being a real thing.

But I also want to defend ourselves for saying I don’t think it was a great beat in those pages.

**Craig:** No. And I am aware of the Hitachi Magic Wand. It is the Cadillac of vibrators, John. The Hitachi Magic Wand famous for being the solution to women like the character in those pages that can’t have an orgasm. But I did a little research, because I love Googling vibrator and electrocution.

**John:** The most research Craig has ever done for an episode apparently.

**Craig:** By the way, there are vibrators that – so I thought, OK, if I Google vibrator electrocution I’m going to get a lot of stories about Hitachi Magic Wands falling into tubs. I got none. Zero. My guess is probably because everybody’s bathroom now to code has the GFI circuit on, so it would just trip a breaker and not.

But there is apparently a new generation of vibrators that electrocute you on purpose.

**John:** Oh yeah, electrical stimulation. Sure.

**Craig:** Yeah. That just seems like you’re, I mean, I don’t know, it just seems like you’re asking for trouble.

**John:** Sure. I think whatever someone likes in that area is phenomenal and fantastic.

**Craig:** Until it kills you.

**John:** Until it kills you. So, getting back to that specific use of it in that script is it relied too much on the fact that it was a vibrator being used in a bathtub with water apparently, which didn’t seem – that’s what I wasn’t necessarily believing and felt like a bit of a stretch and wasn’t working for me in those pages.

**Craig:** It is.

**John:** But I want to acknowledge that I was wrong. All vibrators are not battery-based. I got you.

**Craig:** Yeah. That is true. Hitachi Magic Wand. Been around for a long time.

**John:** It’s a classic. So we’ll put in links in the show notes to both the Hitachi Magic Wand and stories about electrocution, which there are basically none.

**Craig:** The person that you think is jackhammering behind your house may be using the Hitachi Magic Wand. It is apparently very loud.

**John:** Oh my gosh.

**Craig:** That is the one thing that I read. If you’re in an apartment with thin walls other people will know that you are Magic Wanding.

**John:** All right. Continuing our follow up, about two years ago Craig and I started talking about assistant pay and sort of the problems assistants were facing based on emails we got in from people. We’re starting to have that conversation. But at the same time Liz Alper and other folks were talking about the PayUpHollywood movement. They stated this group called PayUpHollywood.

So we’ve been working with them to try to figure out what are the issues, how do we get assistants and support staff in Hollywood paid better. Then over the course of the pandemic, or when the pandemic started, it became less of an issue of pay equity and just sort of survival. How do we make sure that people who are working in these positions can actually afford to keep living in Los Angeles? So that became a source of urgency.

We raised a bunch of money for support staff, Liz and I and Megana, who is also on the call, were instrumental in trying to get that money out to people facing this kind of crisis. Now it’s time for sort of an update on where we’re at with assistants, assistant pay, and so I wanted to invite on two folks who know a lot more about this than we do at the moment. Liz Alper is a writer whose credits include The Rookie, Hawaii Five-0, Chicago Fire. She’s a WGA board member and the cofounder of PayUpHollywood. Welcome Liz.

**Liz Alper:** Hi. Thank you guys so much for having me.

**Craig:** Hey Liz.

**John:** Jamarah Hayner is a political consultant who founded the public affairs firm JKH Consulting. In her career she’s worked with Mayor Michael Bloomberg and then California Attorney General Kamala Harris. Welcome Jamarah.

**Jamarah Hayner:** Hey guys. Great to be here.

**John:** Give us the sense of where we’re at right now. You just put out a big sort of survey and results of that survey. But can you give us the 10,000 foot overview. What’s happening in the assistant and support staff landscape right now at the start of 2021.

**Liz:** So right now the big takeaway is a lot of assistants and support staff are very, very broke. Unfortunately because of the pandemic about 80% of assistants and support staff didn’t make $50K in the last year. In Los Angeles in order to be considered not cost burden, which is basically making three times what your monthly rent would be. The average is $53,600 per year. When 80% of assistants and support staff are making well under that, I think 35% were making less than $30,000 in 2020. It’s sounding alarms.

And obviously we’re in such a weird predicament because nothing like the pandemic has ever really happened before. I don’t know, John and Craig, if you guys can speak to this but I’ve never been in Hollywood during a recession that’s actually impacted the industry as strongly as the COVID-19 pandemic has. But what we’re seeing is that we’re losing a lot of assistants to financial stress and there aren’t necessarily supports in place to help them out of this time and keep not just their bank accounts in tact but keep them on this same upward trajectory that they’ve been on. It’s derailing a lot of careers.

**Craig:** Yeah. I don’t think there’s ever been anything like this. There have been turn downs. There was obviously the major economic crisis of 2007/2008. When I graduated college in 1992 there were some lovely headlines about how it was the worst year ever to graduate. The recession and blah. But what we didn’t have was a combination of a downturn in the economy and an inherent kind of state of economic despair.

So, if you had a couple of bad years you fought back, but what you weren’t doing was paying exorbitant rent and exorbitant other things while also not getting paid much. Generally speaking the prices of things kind of moved up and down with the amount that you would earn. Generally speaking. It doesn’t seem like that works that way anymore. So, one of the things that I looked at in your beautifully designed presentation is how many support staff had been essentially – have been relying on friends and family to essentially help them survive, even though they have fulltime or in many cases more than fulltime jobs. And 19% of support staff are as reported having had to move back in with family or friends or relocate out of the city because of lost income from COVID-19. That’s one out of every five. That’s awful.

**Liz:** Yeah. It was kind of devastating looking at these results. I think Jamarah and I can both attest that we knew that 2020 had not been a good year for most of us but seeing how hard hit the assistant and support staff community had been impacted was really, really hard to read. We read every single one of the thousand plus survey results that people took and we’ve read all of the anecdotal messages that they left. A lot of people just saying I don’t know how I’m going to get through this next year if things don’t turn up.

The other thing that people were really shining a light on, and we made sure to include this in our survey as well, was that not only were they making less money that they had in previous years but because the people who were working from home were working from home they were being forced to take on the additional office costs that would normally be paid when you’re working in an office. So things like extra electricity. Increased power bills. Buying a printer. Buying paper. All of these other expenses that you tend to take for granted when you’re in an office setting, all of that piles up. And when so many were reporting that, you know, my hours have been cut, I still have the same workload and in addition to that I’m actually taking on added expenses to compensate for not having an office space, you’re sitting there going how are assistants and support staff paying more to do their jobs than ever before when at this point the studios and the companies should be stepping in to say how can we relieve this financial burden that you guys are under to make sure that our businesses are working as efficiently as possible because we’re making sure that our employees can work as efficiently as possible.

**John:** Jamarah, when we were first talking though these issues, this is a system that was inequitable, it was broken in so many ways. And so we were trying to highlight those issues. I remember the roundtable sort of gatherings we had where we would talk about what they were experiencing. And it feels like in many ways it’s gone from being broken to just like shattered glass on the floor. We sort of long for the problems we used to have in the system.

But, as we pull out of the pandemic, as we sort of imagine a life sort of outside of this sort of crisis, what are some ways we can think about building back the system better? Because I’m wondering whether some of these assistant jobs are just not going to exist in the same way that some of these systems will be there in the same way. What are ways we can think about getting people back to work and getting them back to work in a way that was better than how they left it?

**Jamarah:** Yeah. I mean, I think one of the really great things about PayUpHollywood is, as difficult as these realities are right now, is that this movement is working. Right? We’ve seen major employers and studios, Verve, ICM, WME, CAA, UTA leading with increasing pay rates for assistants. So, I want to make sure that doesn’t get lost in this, right.

So when we are organizes, when we’re speaking up, when we’re telling the truth about our realities and encouraging people to be intentional about how they’re running their companies, we actually make progress in really significant ways. So I think as we start to move out of sort of panic and recovery mode into rebuilding that increased attention is really, really critical. Not just sort of across the board we’re all going to get back at this together, but realizing that there are some real inequities that have existed for years and exist more so now.

You know, Liz talked about people relying on their families. For assistants and support staff that come from families that themselves are feeling economic stress right now, they may not be able to help chip in a few hundred dollars a month for your rent. So parents and other supports aren’t going to be able to be there. So I think it’s not just about lifting everyone up but being really intentional about naming those inequities which we know exist. We’re putting the out data to show it exists. People know this. They’ve gone through it themselves if they were assistants back in the day. And really leaning into that.

But I think that we know as PayUpHollywood that when we speak up and we speak loudly and speak boldly we get results.

**Craig:** And if we had not, I say we, I mean it’s you guys, but we were sort of cheerleading there early on, if this hadn’t been in place already and hadn’t already won some victories I shudder to think of where we would be right now.

**Liz:** Yeah. I completely agree with that, Craig. Because I think you guys say cheerleading and I really say instigating and invigorating kind of this movement. Because I think the difference between now when assistants are speaking up and the difference between all of these past years that they’ve been speaking up without anyone listening is people like you and John and other showrunners are speaking up in support of these assistants. And making sure that their voices are amplified. Their concerns are amplified. And you guys take them seriously. And there’s a level of care and respect that hasn’t been there before. And that’s so important to making sure that this movement succeeds.

**Craig:** Philosophically there’s something I wish I could say, oh no, I can. I have a podcast, so I’m going to. To the people who work in Hollywood who employ support staff, whether they’re like me or John and they are running shows, writing movies, or if they are working at a studio as an executive or anything like that, I think because Hollywood is so success-focused, obsessed with winning and earning and money and quotes and how well you do and how big your house is and all that stuff, that there is almost this philosophical fear of staring closely at something that isn’t what you would define as financial success in Hollywood.

So, when you are employing people I think a lot of folks in Hollywood just don’t want to look at this stuff because it makes them uncomfortable. And rather they would just like this person to magically show up. You have no emotional accountability to them whatsoever. They do their job and they go home and you don’t have to think about it ever. And I submit respectfully that we do. And that financial success is not the only kind of success there is. And more so you’re not going to be able to get financial success if you are burnt out and chucked aside, or if you are barely keeping your head above water, or if you have to live at home, or borrow money from friends just to stay afloat. That it is important for all of us to look at these numbers. And then act on them.

Because the amount of money that is required to move people from the “I’m drowning” column into the “I’m breathing” column is not that much. It’s certainly not much for the corporations. And I know it’s not much for big showrunners. I know it’s not. I know it’s not much for big actors. I know it’s not much for big directors. It’s entirely doable. You just have to be willing to look at it and give a damn. And that means, oh my god, thinking about somebody else. So, there, I’ve said it on my podcast.

**Jamarah:** Hey, Craig, I’ll raise you there. I would say a lot of the content that is being created these days is about racial inequality, income inequality, and we see that whether it’s the beginning of a season or during awards. So, I would say that if you are part of a production that is doing great work onscreen talking about these issues, keep those issues in mind as you go back into your office and pass that person in front of the desk. Or think about the person that you’re calling to do something for you at 11pm at night. The issues are the same. And if you can talk about it in the screen you can live it out in your life.

**Craig:** Oh my god. Thank you so much. Because, I mean, look, Hollywood hypocrisy is beautifully florid. It’s everywhere. It always has been. But this is one area of hypocrisy I think where maybe we can just go, nah, we’re not going to do that anymore. We can’t all sit around and applaud Parasite and then go home and be the rich people from Parasite. We can’t do it. You’re not allowed to do it anymore. It’s got to stop.

So pay attention and just look at this stuff. It’s not petty. It’s not beneath you. If you don’t have to worry about these things and somebody is working for you that does have to worry about these things then you have to worry about these things. You are accountable to the people you employ. I believe that.

**John:** Now, Liz, before the pandemic you and I had many phone calls where you were talking heroically with the head of a major agency about assistant pay at that agency. And made some great progress and I want to commend you on that progress. But some of the stuff that came up in terms of like assistants working at that agency were the demands of wardrobe and lunch and hours and clocking in and clocking out. And it occurs to me that as people go back to work they stop working from home and start going back to work new systems are going to need to be figured out. And what I’d love to make sure we are empowering support staff to do is to help make some of those decisions about how work should work now. Because just getting back to work safely is going to be a challenge. It’s going to be so interesting.

You as a writer working on a writing staff, I assume you’ve been working remotely all this time. And same with the support staff for this. And getting people back into a room is going to be challenging and I want to make sure that we are thinking about support staff in those conversations.

**Liz:** Yeah. I completely agree with you, John. Because I think right now a lot of what support staffers are facing are – they’re being asked to come back to potentially unsafe conditions. A lot of the support staffers who took this survey reported that their employers were taking the pandemic seriously, which was great. But if you look at some of the anecdotal stories that are happening on Twitter, some that were submitted to us, a lot of the people who are being put in charge of monitoring Covid testing on sets are assistants who are being paid less than a regular PA rate daily to be in charge of this very, very important aspect of production.

And then there are other things that we’ve tried to tackle with PayUpHollywood and we’ve realized that the scope is so big that it’s almost impossible for us to figure out every single issue that every single assistant is going to be facing. A wardrobe assistant is not going to have the same problems as an agency assistant.

And I think that’s what we were talking about at the end of the survey when we were encouraging employers to actually talk to the support staff in their company because different support staffers are going to have different needs. We just received an email from someone who said, “I can work from home. My company is OK with my company working from home, but I can’t afford to live in an apartment that has central air or even decent air conditioning. So come summertime I am going to be dying because I don’t have an office to escape to or a coffee shop to escape to because I literally cannot afford to pay for AC on the salary that I am given.”

And I know in the grand scheme of things that seems so small, but that’s one of the discomforts that support staffers are putting up with right now, in addition to being underpaid. In addition to having to adjust to their employer’s new schedule and potentially not being considered in the plans of restructuring the company and how that works within a pandemic.

So, there’s a lot going on and we can’t be the only ones who are catching all of the problems. We do need every employer and every company to actually start stepping up and start investigating what it is that their support staffs need from them. Because it’s going to be unique from case to case.

**John:** Thank you both very much for this update. Thank you especially for the survey and the results of the survey. We’ll put a link in the show notes to both the press release that went out, but also this terrific infographic you guys designed.

**Craig:** It’s lovely.

**John:** That walks us through where we’re at at the start of 2021. Can we have both of you guys back on a year from now to sort of tell us what next year’s survey results were and hopefully we can see some progress along these lines?

**Liz:** Yeah. I think that’s the goal. Every year we’re just tearing out the old foundation and putting in a new one. And then building upon it.

**Craig:** Let’s see how we do. I’m just going to be the guy that just keeps banging the shame bell walking alongside these rich people going, “Come on, people. Come on. These assistant are sitting there going through your bills. They know what you pay your pet psychic.” I hate pet psychics.

**John:** Liz and Jamarah, thank you so much.

**Liz:** Thank you guys.

**Jamarah:** Thank you guys.

**Craig:** Thanks Liz and Jamarah.

**Jamarah:** Bye.

**Craig:** Bye.

**John:** Cool. All right, moving on. So this past week, past two weeks, one of the biggest stories in the United States has been GameStop. And this has been a significant event in world news, so I can see that. But it has also been a source of a bunch of folks tweeting at us and emailing us saying like, “Hey, do you see there’s a GameStop movie in development?”

We often talk about How Would This Be a Movie. This is a situation where there’s a story in the news and suddenly there’s like three movies that are brewing.

Keith Calder, a previous guest, tweeted, “Is it possible to short the movie adaptations of the GameStop story?” To take a little meta quality there. But for folks who are listening to this episode in 2026 and have no idea what GameStop is or was Craig would you talk us through the briefest version of what happened?

**Craig:** Yeah. GameStop is a videogame brick and mortar company. And they are publicly traded. A number of large institutional hedge funds, I think the big one was called Melvin I believe, they bet against it. So, they took out short positions on it that basically said we are betting that in the future the share price is going to be lower than it is now. And if that is the case then we are going to make money.

A lot of people feel like hedge funds essentially which generally short stocks are kind of ruining everything. I don’t know enough about finance to agree or disagree. All I can say just as a person is it’s like when you go to Vegas if you play Craps and somebody comes and bets against the people at the table it’s like screw you man.

So, anyway, there is a sub-Reddit called Wall Street Bets and they like to kind of work together to buy stuff and I guess maybe the combination of GameStop being something that a lot of people that are Reddit-y are familiar with/nostalgic for, plus the idea of just sticking it to these hedge fund dickheads rallied the folks on Wall Street Bets together and they just decided we are going to start buying GameStop. We’re going to buy it regardless of its earnings, its potential, anything. We’re just going to buy the stock.

And they did most of that through a trading site called Robinhood. And what happens when you buy, buy, buy? Price goes up. Price goes up. Price goes up. Price goes up. And if they make the price go up high enough all the people that had bet against it using their various metrics would lose millions, possibly billions, possibly their entire hedge fund. Gone. And it very quickly became this underdog story of a bunch of people on the Internet essentially turning the same sort of trickery, nonsense gaming that a lot of our financial industry runs on against them.

So, it was incredibly attractive. And so the price went from $35 to like $400. Alas, it has plummeted recently all the way down, I think it’s currently in the $60s. So that’s where we’re at.

**John:** So looking at this from, pulling back and looking at it, you can see, OK, there’s some stuff that feels a little bit movie-like in the sense of sticking it to the man. You have clear class divides there. There’s a sense of it feels like a heist movie that’s being done sort of through the Internet in a way. You could ascribe good motivations to these sub-Redditors and the folks who are buying the thing and sort of driving up the price and perhaps saving this struggling business.

There’s different ways you can approach it that feel like there’s a narrative there that could go towards a movie. And yet it’s not clear where we are in the act structure of this story. It feels very, very we’re still in the news cycle of it. So it seems premature to be talking about this as a movie, and yet there are three movies in development.

So let’s talk through at least what we know of so far. MGM has acquired a book proposal of the events written by Ben Mezrich. He was the guy whose previous books were adapted into the films 21 and The Social Network. So he feels like a person who would be good at writing this kind of stuff.

Netflix is apparently in talks with the Zero Dark Thirty screenwriter, Mark Boal, about a film that would star Noah Centineo who is the star of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. That’s a possibility. And then RatPac which is the Brett Ratner company has apparently bought the life rights to the guy who created the sub-Reddit. So that’s another way to sort of approach it. And these are three potential movies, three different approaches to sort of how they’re getting into it. One is buying a book written by a guy who is really good at writing books about this thing. One is bringing on a big screenwriter. One is getting the life rights.

I don’t know that there’s one right approach to it. I don’t think we’re going to see three movies come out of this though.

**Craig:** Not a chance. Not a chance. We will see one, maybe two. This is the danger. So there’s risk and reward. Just like all of the betting on Wall Street itself. This is a story that people are fascinated with.

Now, what people are fascinated with today is not necessarily what they’ll be fascinated with tomorrow or two or three weeks from now. What this story has going for it is that it is about something that feels very relevant to what it means to be an American right now. Economic inequality. This kind of Wall Street machinery that both the left and the right are resentful against. The sense that we are not really in control of our economy. And then here comes these folks that sort of prove it. And then get turned on, you know, by the powers that be as the powers that be kind of influence Robinhood to shut down a lot of the trading there.

But we don’t know how it ends. Right? So we don’t know necessarily what the full story is here. So the bet is that you are going to have a story that ultimately turns out to be something that is a full story, A. B, will still be relevant when the movie comes out. Won’t feel dated or like yesterday’s news. And, C, will feature characters that are fascinating and feature actors and filmmakers that people connect with. So, that’s the big gamble. And the additional risk that you’re dealing with is the fact nobody owns facts.

So, there could be 17 other Wall Street bets GameStop Robinhood movies quietly in development. There could be people just writing specs right now. So, what do they have going for them? Well, if you can find somebody like Ben Mezrich who has proven to convert things like this into books that then can be converted into very good movies, that seems like – you know what you’ve done? You’ve hedged your bet. That’s pretty good. I’m going to keep doing money analogy. I like it.

So that’s what it is. It’s basically gambling. You’re gambling with ideas.

**John:** Let’s talk about two book adaptations that feel appropriate here. So obviously Ben’s book, The Social Network, which is about the rise of Facebook and the infighting that happened at the early days of Facebook, an advantage that The Social Network is that it has characters. It has characters who are interacting with each other in physical spaces and can actually have arguments.

And so Aaron Sorkin is a great writer, but he also had really good real life people who can become characters who can actually do things cinematically. That’s going to be a challenge for any writer who is looking to adapt the GameStop story because these people are not in rooms together. They are people working with their own agendas separately and the movie has to stitch them together in ways that they would not naturally be there together. The conflict between two characters on a screen is going to be challenging to do in the GameStop movie because they’re not physically there together.

So, someone who is making money through Wall Street bets or who has spent money – has spent money in through Robinhood and has seen their net worth go from $5 to $300,000, that’s transformational for that character but you’re basically going to be probably inventing that character because that’s not going to be a real person or at least a person who is going to have conflicts with other folks in the world of your story. That’s going to be challenging.

The other book that came to mind as I was looking at this was Hillbilly Elegy which was a big bestselling book talking about sort of coming off of the 2016 election a lot of people were using that as a way to look at and explore a story of white working class people that had been underreported. And so there was an adaptation of that, but it was a challenging adaptation and did not sort of set the world on fire in its cinematic form. And I wonder and worry if that could be a similar kind of problem with this story which is so amorphous and kind of hard to hold. There’s not a plot to it.

**Craig:** Well, there is a plot in the sense that there’s a beginning, there’s a middle, and eventually there will be an end. The question is what will that end be? And will it feel like it justified the journey? So we’ll find out. There are some fascinating stories that I’ve read. You can look. You can go to Wall Street Bets and just read through individual people saying I think I screwed up. I put all of my money in this and I just lost it all and I haven’t told my wife and I don’t know what to do.

I mean, there are people that are talking about suicide on there. It’s terrifying. So, there is a kind of like dream and nightmare scenario going on there that I think is kind of fascinating. But you’re right. To wrangle it into one compelling narrative they are going to need to focus on some individuals. I will say that I do believe that we have an appetite for process stories, arcane process stories, more than Hollywood used to think. Hollywood generally the rule was that people are idiots and what they like are boobs or cars going fast or something exploding. And not that they don’t, but movies that come along like The Big Short which are deeply process movies, or The Social Network which is very much a process movie, people lean in. They want to actually see how the things that they interact with on a daily basis work under the hood. They really do get interested in that.

Whereas it used to be that diving into the weeds was a recipe for people not showing up, well now it kind of works. Is this a theatrical release? Well I don’t know if there’s going to be theaters anyway. But, no, I would think that this very much feels like it should be a play on Netflix or HBO or Apple or something.

**John:** Yeah. So I remember during the time of The Big Short, the movie The Big Short, not the actual real events, you and I, I think, both had sit down with Adam McKay and or Charles Randolph, the writers who adapted Michael Lewis’s book, and really good conversations you and I each had about sort of how challenging that process was and how to find character stories that could help illuminate really complicated situations about the housing crisis and sort of what actually happened there and how to visualize and narrativize those stories. And that’s probably what’s going to need to happen here. The way that we are sort of trying to obliquely get around what a short squeeze is, we’re going to have to find good ways to visualize that so the audience can understand that.

But I agree there is sort of a hunger for that. The same way that we have hunger for military thrillers where they explain sort of how some warship works. We do love to see that and we love to see people demonstrating their expertise in a very specific field.

So, it’s all conceivable and possible. I think my biggest hesitation is that we just don’t know what the third act of this is at all. And are we going to look at the events of GameStop five years from now as being like oh that was a big positive transformational event, or the start of something horrible? And we just don’t know yet.

**Craig:** Yeah. I think it’s going to end poorly for the people who invested in GameStop. That’s just my guess. Because in the end there is this interesting – what’s the game theory, the problem of the commons?

**John:** Yes, the tragedy of the commons.

**Craig:** The tragedy of the commons. This is a classic tragedy of the commons situation. Eventually, and it’s already started to happen, people who can walk away with a massive amount of money are going to. And this in fact is kind of the problem with the whole thing. There’s a fascinating discovery of how human behavior underlies all this stuff. And there is a little bit of a sadness in how we celebrate the underdog in our traditional fictional narratives, but in real life the underdog almost always loses. And what does that mean about us and our society and the American dream?

So, interesting things to look at. I do think that it will end – my guess is that it’s going to end poorly for people that bought into GameStop. My guess is that the billionaire hedge fund guys will remain billionaires. But that in and of itself is an interesting ending. We’ll see how it goes.

**John:** I’m hoping that Steve Mnuchin produces at least one adaptation of this. Because really who would be more qualified than Steve Mnuchin to – he’s a Hollywood producer who was also a Treasury Secretary. So he should be the person who should produce this.

**Craig:** Oh boy.

**John:** Boy. All right. So we’ll flag this for follow up. Obviously we’ll see what happens to any of these three movies or other adaptations along the way. But it’s a great example happening in real time of the urgency which people feel to acquire rights to hold down this thing which as you point out anyone could do. So we’ll see what happens.

**Craig:** Anyone could do.

**John:** Craig, you have left Twitter, although I do see you replying to other people on Twitter sometimes, but you have mostly left Twitter, so you may not have seen a really good thread that happened this past week.

**Craig:** I didn’t.

**John:** Rachel Miller put together a thread with advice for people who might be staffing or looking to staff on a TV show. And I thought it was terrific. And it also occurred to me that a Twitter thread does not work especially well at all on a podcast. So I reached out to Rachel and said hey would you mind recording your Twitter thread so we could actually talk about it here, because I thought your advice was flawless and succinct and so brilliant. But it needed to be working in an audio format. So we reached out, Megana worked with her to record this all.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** I thought we would go through her advice and listen to it, but also respond to it and see what people could do, how people could implement this in their own lives. So, some context, Rachel Miller, she is a founding partner of Haven Entertainment, so she’s a producer rather than a writer. She’s also a founder of a nonprofit, Film2Future, which is a pipeline for underserved LA youth in Hollywood. She was just staffing a show for a streamer. And so she and her showrunner/partner read 368 scripts and they reached out to another 50 people to check availabilities for five writer spots for the room.

**Craig:** Ooh.

**John:** And she said that the truth is that the odds are not in your favor, but there’s some things you can do to help improve your chances of getting staffed. So, let’s take a listen to her advice.

**Craig:** OK.

**Rachel Miller:** One. Write something buzzy. Your sample needs to be something that cuts through the noise, that makes us remember your script after reading 368 scripts. For staffing, we aren’t necessarily looking for a pilot that sets up a series, just something that makes us remember you and your writing.

**John:** Yes. And so I remember when we’ve had TV showrunner guests on before them talking through like I will read the first couple pages. I just need a sense of can this person write. They kind of don’t care about the plotting overall. They just want to know is this a person who has an interesting voice. Is this someone who I want to keep reading?

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Rachel:** Two. Work on the first 15 pages, make them sing. If the first 15 pages aren’t good, it’s unlikely that we will keep reading, but if they are, we will most likely keep reading to the end of the script.

**Craig:** Well, because if the first 15 pages are good the next 45 are also probably going to be good. I mean, if you write well you write well. That’s how it kind of goes.

**John:** Absolutely. And so it also speaks to don’t hold back crucial things, oh, I don’t want that reveal to happen. I would say really do focus on that initial experience. So when we talk about the first three pages of this Three Page Challenge we really are getting a sense very quickly whether this is a script we want to keep reading.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So just make sure that works.

**Rachel:** Three. Have a second sample ready to go. Many times we asked for a second sample to read more of a writer and was told they had none. A second sample should show off something different about your writing, we should not read two versions of the same story in two separate samples.

**Craig:** That’s reasonable.

**John:** Yeah. That’s great advice. You know, when I talk to people who are looking to staff I ask them sort of what they’re sending out, but also what else have you got. Because you want something that shows some range. It doesn’t show the same person every time.

**Rachel:** Four. Make sure you have a bio and credit list and that your rep has it and it is updated. For a bio, tell us something that makes you unique. You never know what someone is looking for in a room so adding something specific that separates you from everyone else is always helpful, especially if you are a lower level writer and a ton of credits a good bio is key.

**Craig:** Hmm. Well.

**John:** Yeah. Craig, you’re not hiring writers for your show, but there’s other folks who you’re reaching out to. You’re trying to find out information about them. Do you find yourself Googling them? Are you looking for information about them? Or are you just taking what the reps send you?

**Craig:** Yeah, so I’m not hiring writers, therefore the people that we’re talking to we will generally get IMDb breakdowns on them. And sometimes if it’s a certain kind of person, particularly actors, but also for department heads, if there’s an interview online I’ll watch it. Interviews are fascinating. If you ever have a chance to be interviewed for anything – maybe you’re not on a staff or anything but you’re a writer and somebody has interviewed you for any little tiny program, well any little tiny program is going to be Google-able. Anything. Right?

And so take it seriously. Take that interview seriously. Be gracious. Be interesting. Don’t be me, me, me, me, me, but just be fascinating. Somebody might find that. Those things matter to me more than – look, honestly, this one is not my – bios are fake. That’s the bottom line. Bios are super fake. Like all resumes are fakes. Everybody who has ever written a resume knows that resumes are fake. So, I don’t put too much credence in those, but an interview. Well that’s something.

**John:** Yeah. So before we started recording this episode I was on a Zoom with some strangers who I’d – people I’d never met before. And I found myself just Googling them while we were talking. And I was curious the difference I saw between like some people I could find information about them that sort of helped me get a bigger picture of them. And some people were just un-Google-able. There was nothing out there that was helpful. Or the only thing I could see was like in 2016 this person obviously went to Harvard. But I couldn’t figure out really what they’d done in the time since that time. And so if they’d had a site, if they had other stuff out there that could help me get a sense of who they were that would be great. And so I think that’s the advice that Rachel is giving too, to make sure that if it’s an official bio or some other site that it gives some sense of who you are as a writer because you may not even have a rep who is there advocating on your behalf. The script could have just been handed in by somebody else.

**Craig:** Right. Right. Exactly.

**Rachel:** Contact info. And this seems easy, but it wasn’t. Make sure your correct rep’s info is on your script, is on IMDb and Studio System, and on your website. It is very difficult to actually contact a writer if there is no way to get in touch with that writer. Make sure your website is up to date as well. And if you don’t have reps, make sure your contact info is on the script.

**John:** Yeah, so for Three Page Challenges I’ve been happy to see that that’s actually improved. I’m consistently seeing contact information on the Three Page Challenges that we’re getting in. Stick in an email address there and they will email you if someone is interested. And we know people who have been featured on the Three Page Challenge who are getting contacts from reps and managers because there’s something they liked. And they can just reach out to you directly. They don’t have to go through Megana. That’s good.

**Craig:** Yeah. How are people missing this? I don’t understand. I mean, that’s one where – when you are going through all this stuff, everybody who is going through this has 12 other things they also have to do. Any tiny friction point is going to hurt. And if you’re interested and you want to talk to somebody and they didn’t put their contact info on I’m already angry at them for their weird judgment. So unless the script has blown me away I’m just going to keep going.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** It’s just weird. Like how do you miss that?

**John:** The other thing I would add, if you are a WGA member you should update your Find a Writer profile because that is a way you can give your contact information, show who your agent is if you have one, your manager if you have one, attorneys if you have one, and include some samples. It will take you 20 minutes to do and that is another way people can find you. So, update that in the directory.

**Rachel:** Six. If you hear about a staffing job and you have no reps and you think you are a perfect fit, take your shot and reach out to the producers with an email explaining why you feel you might be a perfect fit. Not all producers will say yes to reading someone unrepped but some will and it’s worth taking a shot. Just make sure you specify why you think you are a perfect fit. Do not attach the script in the original email. That will get your email immediately deleted. Wait till the producer writes back and says it’s OK or not to send the script.

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** Yeah. And so you and I have always been skeptical of query letters and sort of that sense of like, “Hey, I have this thing,” but it sounds like what she’s talking about is being very specific and targeted towards like this person is making a medical investigator show set in Philadelphia and I am a person with a background as a medical investigator in Philadelphia and I’m a damn good screenwriter. You should reach out to that person.

**Craig:** The second part is the key. You have to be able to say, listen, now that I’ve told you this thing you and I would both agree that I would be an idiot to not try. Right? I mean, so that’s the key. You just don’t want to do it and be like, “I’m not repped and I don’t know anything, but I love the stuff that you guys are doing and I think I’d be a great fit.” I love it when people say, “I think I would be a great fit.” And I’m like do you? What does that mean? OK. But there’s no evidence. You know?

**John:** You know who is a great fit? Zoanne Clack when she’s getting hired on to Grey’s Anatomy. She’s a doctor.

**Craig:** She’s a doctor. Exactly. That’s a great fit. That’s a fit. Exactly. That works. Not, oh, you’re a great fit because we have a job and you want a job? That’s not fit.

**Rachel:** Social presence – if you have a website, make sure it works. Even if it just lists your contact info, make sure it’s not a dead site. Think about joining Twitter, Instagram, all the other socials. Being part of a writing community is always helpful but also it’s a way to express yourself so a producer, or showrunner, or exec can get a glimpse of you. There is a flip side to this: Think about what you are posting. No one wants to hire someone who is constantly negative about other people, other shows, other rooms. Build your writer community. Often a showrunner or producer will reach out to their friends for personal recs and those scripts will always go to the top of the pile.

**John:** Great. And I’m glad she’s pointing out the double-edged sword of having social media because that is a way of sort of showing your voice and showcasing what you’re interested in. It gives me a sense of who you are as a person. But in giving me a sense of who you are as a person I’m going to decide like, oh, I don’t want to be anywhere near that person. That person seems like a real bummer to be around. So, you’ve got to be really mindful about what you’re putting out there.

**Craig:** Yeah. I think if you’ve written a good sample and they like it and you are not on social media at least for me that would not be a problem for me whatsoever. Most people are too online. And I guarantee you, no matter what I feel about you, if I’m going to read 100 of your tweets I’ll find two that piss me off. No question. That’s anyone. Anyone. Much less somebody sitting there and digging back through your history.

So, I’m not sure about that one to be honest with you. I don’t know if that is good advice. That one I’m questioning.

**John:** But I think of like Ashley Nicole Black who we only know – we were only sort of put in contact with through Twitter. And has been a guest on the show twice and is just a phenomenal writer both on Twitter and in real life and is doing great.

**Craig:** But we’re not hiring her. And she’s not doing great because of Twitter.

**John:** I don’t know if there’s really any correlation between her Twitter use and her writing. I think it enables other people to find her.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, there is that. I like the idea of having a presence on the web where you can express yourself in a controlled way and you’re not kind of necessarily – believe me, it’s not like I’m saying don’t be on Twitter. It’s just be really careful. I think that the potential for trouble is actually greater than the potential for benefit in terms of if you’re not on it don’t – I’m just saying if you’re not on it and it’s not your thing, don’t feel like you have to be.

**John:** Yup. This is a good place for me to plug on the 18th of February I’m going to be doing a WGA panel on public relations and social media for writers.

**Craig:** Oh great.

**John:** So if you have other thoughts on that you can join us there.

**Rachel:** OK, so now you’ve got a meeting. Now what? One, be enthusiastic. Tell us what you liked about the show, what excites you? What part or what characters are you most interested in writing about? Have show pitches ready to go. Some showrunners won’t want to hear them, but some will. At least have them ready in your back pocket should a showrunner ask. Read the materials before the meeting. Sometimes you’ll just have a pilot, sometimes you’ll have a pilot and a book. Sometimes it will just be a link to watch. Make sure you do all your homework and Google the showrunner and producer. Come in as prepared as you can.

**John:** So, it’s not surprising that she’s saying to come in prepared. And we’ve talked about going in for meetings and going in for general meetings, going in for specific meetings on a project. But I think our biases as feature writers is it’s always like how are we going to approach this project that’s here in front of us. And what’s different about going in for a meeting with a showrunner is that you’re responding to that person’s work. And so you have to be super positive about the thing that they’ve made and how great that is. But also sort of being able to “yes and” and sort of talk about where the series can go, what’s exciting to you about that, which is a subtly different thing than going in to meet with a producer about the Uno Movie.

**Craig:** No question. And beyond the evidence that you are a worker, and an adult who reads what you’re supposed to read and knows what you’re supposed to know, actual demonstrable passion for a show is going to move you further than almost anything else. And you can’t fake it. It’s got to be real.

The reason you do all of your homework in addition to your actual passion for the show is because it is not only a sign that you are an adult. It is a sign of respect for the people that you’re sitting with. They wrote that stuff. They’ve been working on it. They don’t want somebody sitting there going, “Yeah, I guess I could work on this. You know, I’ll come in and do what you need, whatever you need. You like what I wrote, I’ll write some stuff like that for you.” Well, get out. Get out of my office. You make me feel bad about myself and my show.

What I want is for you to come in and say, “I love what you do. I love your show. It means something to me. I want to be a part of it. I want to learn from you. And I want to leave my thumbprint on it. I want to influence this because I care about it.” Then I lean forward and I go who is this? I want to know you. And, again, you can’t fake that. It’s got to be real.

**John:** Yeah. So don’t play hard to get. I mean, the opportunity to get hard to get is when there’s multiple people who want to hire you for a job for a slot. That’s fantastic and then you can maybe get your price up a little bit. But, no, you want to seem like the person who has passion for this specific job who they can imagine being in a writer’s room or writer’s Zoom for weeks on end with and not dread seeing you.

**Craig:** Yes.

**Rachel:** Four. Write a thank you note after the meeting. Your reps or an assistant will forward it on. It looks great. Five. Most importantly, be yourself. Again, you’ll never know what exactly the needs of the room are. And what mix the showrunner, producer, or network are looking for. So being yourself is always the best answer. Break a leg out there.

**Craig:** Yeah, being yourself.

**John:** Great advice. So thank you notes. I’ve generally not done them. Maybe I should do them more. I’ve always liked it when I’ve gotten thank you notes when I’ve been interviewing for people to come work for me. I do notice when those thank you notes come through. So that’s a good idea. I just haven’t done it.

**Craig:** [laughs] You like getting them, you just don’t like writing them.

**John:** That’s so totally true. Just like the opposite is true. I prefer to give a present than to give a present. I don’t really like getting presents.

**Craig:** Sure. Well, no, I hate getting presents because mostly it’s just an exercise in me trying to convince you that I don’t want to throw this thing out. But I do like writing a thank you note. And I’m sort of the opposite. I don’t really care about getting the thank you notes so much, but I like writing them because, again, it’s just to show respect I think mostly. Just to show respect, no matter what the power dynamic is. Whether it’s somebody that was trying to get a job from me or somebody that I’ve been talking to about a job. I do that because it just feels, I don’t know, nice.

But the be yourself advice is always the best advice. It is true that there’s stuff going on that you’re not aware of and never will be aware of that sometimes qualifies you or disqualifies you within seconds. And you have no control over it. It just is what it is. And so you can’t calculate your way to success. Be your enthusiastic, passionate, authentic self.

**John:** So I want to thank you Rachel Miller both for writing that lovely Twitter thread and for recording it so we could talk about it here on the air. So thank you again Rachel Miller.

All right, I think we have time for one listener question. So **Megana Rao:** if you could come on board and talk us through a question that we could answer from the mailbag. Because I see there’s a bunch here, but maybe this top one would work for us.

**Megana Rao:**: All right. Great. So Oscar asks, “What are your thoughts in showing something in flashback versus hearing a monologue about it? Let’s say you have the limited resources to actually shoot that flashback. What would be reasons you would cutaway versus leaving it as a monologue?”

**John:** That’s a great question.

**Craig:** I love this question so much because I literally was confronting this very question just a couple weeks ago in thinking about a future episode that I have yet to write of The Last of Us. And the answer Oscar is you’ve just got to feel it. Because there are some stories you really do want to be in. And then there are some stories that you want to hear. And I can’t tell you why one thing feels like it’s better to hear than another other than to say if it seems like if you’re in it and it’s happening it might feel possibly melodramatic as opposed to if you’re just hearing about it and that person can kind of play against some inherent melodrama than maybe that’s a reason to have somebody relay it as a story.

If you think that the story would be fantastic to see and not really a good story to tell then you don’t really have that option. But, if it’s something that you think the storytelling would kind of contrast with. And a great example is in Jaws. So there’s Robert Shaw delivering that amazing story about what it was like floating in the water after the USS Indianapolis is hit a torpedo I think. And they’re all floating in the water and then the sharks come.

Well, you could say it, but then it’s sort of like, oh look, a camera is there and people are in the water and it’s a big action sequence and people are screaming. But having him kind of tell that story with that weird smile on his face because that’s how he covers up the pain, and he’s slightly drunk, and you can tell every now and then inside of the story he starts to reveal feelings and then, no, not at all. And the way he ends it as if to say, “Well, there you go. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.” That becomes fascinating because now the story isn’t about plot, the story is about character. So that’s your choice. You’ve got to figure it out. You’ve got to feel it.

**John:** Yeah. I would say that whatever movie or TV show you’re doing you also are setting some rules for yourself about are you the kind of thing that tells stories or flashes back. And if there’s one flashback in the whole movie or the whole TV series well that’s weird. It feels like you’re just breaking the rules to tell that one thing. So there has to be a really good reason why you are doing that thing.

Also, you need to ask yourself do you have a good person to tell that story. Is there a person who actually would be an interesting narrator to tell that story and who their choice to tell that story within the scene is meaningful and makes sense? Because it’s not just the story. It’s the scene in which the story is being told. And if you have that moment where it actually really makes sense for this character at this moment to tell that story, that’s awesome. But if you’re just dumping information at the audience that probably is pushing you back more towards a this is the movie wants to tell you, show you what happened, versus this character wants to tell you what happened.

**Craig:** Yeah. You never want your story to feel like, oh, they just needed to save money. Or, oh, they just needed you to know a whole big bunch of crap and they didn’t want to make you sit through all of it because it’s boring. It’s got to be a great story. That’s the key. It’s got to be a great story.

**John:** We have many great questions here so I think next week will probably end up being a mailbag episode because I was just looking through this outline and some primo questions being sent in to ask@johnaugust.com, so thank you everyone who has sent those through. And thank you Megana for sorting through all of these.

**Craig:** Excellent.

**John:** All right. It’s time for our One Cool Things. I have two One Cool Thing this week. The first is an article by Dan Froomkin entitled “What the next generation of editors need to tell their political reporters.” What he’s arguing for in this piece is basically that we need to stop having politics reporters or political reporters and relabel them as government reporters. Because when you start talking about politics you inevitably move to a this side versus that side and to a sort of sports team kind of reporting on things which is not actually helpful for the good of the nation or for people understanding what’s actually happening.

So, it was a really interesting framing. And I think it could potentially be really useful in terms of what if we just talked about what government is doing and what the issues are and stopped talking about it as a race. And I think some really good points being made in there. So, I will point you to Froomkin’s article there.

And once you’ve read through that long piece I think you need a palate cleanser which I will send you to. This is a clip of Whitney Houston and Brandy singing Impossible from the ABC version of Cinderella. And I just – this is behind the scenes of them recording this. And it’s just such a reminder of what – not just what an instrument Whitney Houston had but just how much life she had. It was just so good to see her so joyful as she was singing this. And as she’s ribbing Brandy to actually sing on pitch, it’s just great. So I loved this little bit. I’m going to play a little clip for you here Craig so you can appreciate how good this sounds.

**Craig:** I would like that. Yes.

[Song plays]

**John:** That made you smile right?

**Craig:** So good. I mean, just – just the GOAT. Just unbelievable.

**John:** And it made me remember that like I think too much about the tragic end of Whitney Houston. And I need to move past that and appreciate the joyful beginning and middle of Whitney Houston and what she was able to do.

**Craig:** Effortlessly.

**John:** That I got to be alive while she was singing like that.

**Craig:** Just effortlessly. I assume you’ve watched the famous clip of her singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl.

**John:** Oh yeah. Yeah.

**Craig:** And when she redefined, literally redefined the melody at the end of the National Anthem. No one else had done Free-hee. No one else had done the octave jump on free. And now you have to do it.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** She just made that. She made it. She invented it. It’s amazing.

So my One Cool Thing is, I know I’m off of Twitter, but if you are lurking on Twitter which I think is perfectly fine because it’s free to everybody there is a fascinating woman named Stella Zawistowski. Stella Zawistowski is part of the crossword world. She’s often in the mix at the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. The big one in Connecticut. And she’s got a great – this is what makes her especially fascinating. This is her, what do you call the little bio thing on your Twitter profile: “Personal records…” I’m going to do it backward from the way she does it because I just like the reveal of it. “Personal records: New York Times Sunday crossword, 4 minutes, 33 seconds. Back squat 265 lbs.” That’s right. Stella Zawistowski not only can solve a Sunday Times puzzle in under five minutes, but she is a powerlifter. There’s a picture of her doing it. It’s impressive.

So that’s a combination you don’t see too frequently. Not to rip on my fellow crossword people but we are not known for our brute strength. [laughs] So, Stella is. But what I love about Stella lately is that she’s been helping people with understanding and getting into cryptic crosswords which I’ve talked about on here before. And she has a hashtag she’s been doing called #ExplanationFriday where she shows a clue and gives people a chance to get it right. And then she gives you the answer and explains how the clue works, because that is how you learn how to do cryptics by sort of going back and reverse engineering the clues and learning the conventions and the tricks and all that fun.

So, it’s a great way to start learning, because honestly I’ve become too bored with regular crossword puzzles. I need the cryptics. So, cryptics or metas. So, Stella Zawistowski for all of your powerlifting, crossword, and cryptic clue needs. @stellaphone. @stellaphone.

**John:** Excellent. And that is our show for this week. So, as always, Scriptnotes is produced by **Megana Rao:**. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli who also did our fantastic outro this week. So stick around and listen to that. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter I am @johnaugust. Craig is not really on Twitter so don’t at him.

We have t-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find the transcripts and sign up for our weekly-ish newsletter called Inneresting which has lots of links to things about writing.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on awkward dates. So stick around for that. Craig, thank you for a good episode.

**Craig:** Thanks John.

[Bonus segment]

**Craig:** That’s great to see. What are they saying?

**John:** I don’t think they’re saying anything.

**Craig:** Just Latin sort of just chanting?

**John:** Just Latin chanting.

**Craig:** That’s awesome.

**John:** It’s great. I also love that it’s so creepy and yet beautiful. I mean, it’s joyful and creepy at the same time, which is just a uniquely church-y kind of thing you can do.

**Craig:** Yes. Yes. That was beautiful.

**John:** Yeah. Our topic this week is also potentially creepy and beautiful. Adam in Los Angeles wrote in to say he wants to hear us talk about bad dating stories. And here’s a situation where I think I probably have more dating stories than you do just because you met your wife in college and probably didn’t date a lot post-college. What’s your dating history?

**Craig:** I didn’t date at all post-college. I dated in high school and I dated in college. I mean, dating in college is really just like I sleep with you, I sleep with you. But then I met my wife my junior year and it’s been her since. So, yeah. I’m out of that whole scene man.

**John:** I was dating up until I was 30. So I have lot more dating history.

**Craig:** You’ve got some stories. Yeah.

**John:** I’ve got some stories.

**Craig:** Tell us stories.

**John:** But let’s go back to high school. So my most notable date, I have two things from high school that are embarrassing, which most high school dating is kind of embarrassing. This first one though I remember very distinctly. So, I got set up with a friend of a friend. A girl named Tonya who I didn’t know at all, but she was friends with other friends and apparently she was really into me and I didn’t know who she was. But we got set up.

So we talked on the phone and we ended up going to see a movie for our first date. And, Craig, that movie was Fatal Attraction.

**Craig:** That’s working.

**John:** That’s working really, really well.

**Craig:** Everything about this situation is clicking.

**John:** Absolutely. So this girl who is apparently a little obsessed with me takes me to see Fatal Attraction. So we see Fatal Attraction which is a really good movie, but also not a good first date movie.

**Craig:** No!

**John:** No.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** So then we go back to her family’s house and her parents aren’t around because her parents are gone for the weekend or something. And I was like I don’t kind of feel safe here. And so I should stress she’s lovely and so I’ve met her at the high school reunion and she’s great and phenomenal and happily married and everything else. But it was not a good experience for me.

**Craig:** No, that must have been – yeah, you walk into the house, there’s no one there. It’s the reverse right. Normally you go, OK, I’m the straight guy. I go home with this girl. I walk into the house. The parents are gone. Woo! Party time. And then not the case in this circumstance.

**John:** It was not the case in this circumstance. Do you have a high school story?

**Craig:** Yeah. I’ve got some high school stories. Sure. I’m trying to think of a bad, a really – well, I’ll tell you actually prior to high school you know there’s like the awkward early crush, like so now you’re talking like fifth grade crush.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** It’s not quite a date story. But I had this like beyond crush on the girl who lived across the street named Sandra. And I told my friend Eric about her. And he was like you’ve got to write a love letter to her. And I was like what, no way. And he convinced me. And I did it. I wrote a love letter to Sandra. And I walked across and I put it in her mailbox because you could do that. And then I went home. And then I had terrible regrets. I had terrible regrets. What have I done? She’s going to tell everybody. I’m going to be laughed at. She’s not going to like me.

So I went back over there. It had already been taken out of the mailbox. I rang her doorbell. She came out. And I basically said, yeah, none of that’s true.

**John:** Oh no, Craig.

**Craig:** Yeah. I just took it all back. And she must have – look, I’d like to think, this is the most charitable imagining. Sandra got this. We’re all like 10, OK? Sandra go this, read it, and went, “Huh?” And then I came to her door and she’s like, “Oh, hi.” And then I say this crazy stuff about how I didn’t really mean it and it was all just a joke. And she was polite about it and then she went back inside and went, “What?” And then just moved on with her day like what the hell was that about.

**John:** Yeah. And that’s very classic comedy. Something that was so important to you and it meant nothing to her at all.

**Craig:** I hope. I hope. But, yeah, you know, I don’t have too many disastrous date stories I must say.

**John:** So this isn’t even really a date story, but it actually has a similar dynamic. So this is in, I don’t know if it was in high school, or maybe it was I was back for summer in college. And I ended up making out with this girl at a party and, whatever, you make out with somebody at a party. And then I guess we exchanged phone numbers or whatever. But she’d said like, “Oh, I work at Fashion Bar in the Crossroads Mall.” And I think she had said something like, “Oh, we could get lunch or something.” And so I showed up at like where she worked.

**Craig:** Oh, you’re a stalker.

**John:** Yeah. And in retrospect I’m looking at this from her perspective. She could not get away from me. So I regret that. But I fundamentally did not understand that I was meeting her at work. It was just weird and I’m embarrassed now to even sort of tell that story.

**Craig:** You know, it’s important to hug yourself.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** And forgive yourself. We all have done these stupid, stupid things. Just, you know, everyone has one. But that’s not too bad, you know.

**John:** It’s not too bad. I didn’t keep stalking her in any way like that. I think in going there I was like, oh, we’re not going to be able to have a conversation there. And so therefore I should just–

**Craig:** Right. What is Fashion Bar?

**John:** Fashion Bar was some sort of retail clothing store. I think there was a Fashion Bar Men’s and a Fashion Bar Women’s. It was a private chain.

**Craig:** Got it. So she could be like, “Look, I know we made out at a party, but if you want to stay here you need to buy a sweater.”

**John:** That’s pretty true.

**Craig:** And use my sticker for the sale.

**John:** Now, Craig though, you missed out on all dating in your 20s which was the beginning of online dating and all that stuff.

**Craig:** Yeah, never done it.

**John:** I’ll quickly talk you through some of the highlights of that. So, not an online date, but I do remember an Aspen gay ski week, meeting a guy on a chairlift and sort of flirting there. And then it’s like, oh, come by my place. I’m like, great, I’ll come by your place. And then he ended up living in New York and so we had phone conversations. So you never had to do a lot of phone dating either.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** But I remember this one conversation where he said, “Oh, you’re exactly the kind of guy my therapist wants me to date.”

**Craig:** Oh no.

**John:** That first red flag. And so he was like an investment guy. And I was a broke aspiring screenwriter. And he’s like, “I keep dating these sort of like hot guys who are wrong for me. Listen, I’ve got the money, I can get your surgery. I can get you a trainer. Basically I can change you into the thing that I want to date.”

**Craig:** Wait, he was Pygmalion-ing you?

**John:** He was trying to Pygmalion me.

**Craig:** [laughs] Well, hold on a second. You don’t necessarily want to turn down free surgery. What was he offering?

**John:** I don’t know. You could be dealing with a completely different host here.

**Craig:** That’s so weird.

**John:** So weird.

**Craig:** That’s psycho. I can get your surgery. That’s what you want from somebody. That says love.

**John:** Yeah. I wish I could figure out this guy’s name to sort of see where he’s at now in life.

**Craig:** If only we could cut into you and rearrange your meat. Then…

**John:** Do you need all your ribs? I don’t know that you do.

**Craig:** Oh my god. That’s terrifying. All right, well, you know.

**John:** That’s dating.

**Craig:** Hey, he was open with you at the very least.

**John:** And so the one last sort of Internet dating story I’ll share. I will say that I do miss dating in my 20s because I like seeing people’s apartments.

**Craig:** Oh, that’s a thought. Sure.

**John:** It’s nice going to see people’s apartments. A guy who, an Internet date, and we ended up going out to lunch at like a Baja Fresh. And Baja Fresh is a chain in Southern California that is known for, they have a salsa bar. And you can have lots of different kinds of salsa there to put on your burritos and your tacos. And this guy got like 15 little cups for salsa. And filled them up with pico de gallo, the chopped up tomato thing, and just sort of ate that as a salad.

**Craig:** What? [laughs]

**John:** That should be a giant red flag. And it was a giant red flag. There was not a second date.

**Craig:** I don’t know. I mean, what if that was just this adorable affectation that he had and he was amazing. He’s like the best husband ever to somebody and they’re like, “Oh my god, Jimmy, the one thing about him is the pico de Gallo thing, but otherwise he’s perfect.”

**John:** Other than like stalking that girl at Fashion Bar.

**Craig:** Exactly.

**John:** He’s a good guy.

**Craig:** Other than the fact that he came to my house, delivered this love letter, and then 20 minutes later came back and said the whole thing was fake, he’s great. We suck. God we suck.

**John:** So you shouldn’t judge people by the worst thing they’ve ever done. Which in your case was mail fraud.

**Craig:** Mail fraud. Exactly.

**John:** And in my case was stalking at a retail store.

**Craig:** And Aspen gay ski week guy’s worst case was just being Jame Gumb from Silence of the Lambs and wanting to cut into you.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That’s terrifying. “You’re the kind of person my therapist wants me to date,” what that means is I don’t want to date you.

**John:** Indeed. It really does. It frankly does. It’s like you’re not a thing I want, but I want to want you.

**Craig:** You’re the kind of food my dietician says I should be eating. OK, I get it. I’m asparagus. Screw you man.

**John:** Fun stuff. Fun times.

**Craig:** Bad dates.

**John:** So you haven’t dated in forever, so do you miss any part of that life?

**Craig:** No. Not at all. I mean, I don’t know – it seems to me like it’s chaotic and disruptive and scary. Fraught with pain. I mean, I’m painting a terrible picture of it. I guess mostly the reason why is if you’re not dating, if you’re in a monogamous relationship and you have a lot of friends who are dating they don’t come to you with good dating stories. They come to you with the disasters. That’s all you hear are just – I was on my skateboard and it went great. Nothing happened. Crazy. And I came home. You just hear like fell off my skateboard, smashed my face into the ground, lost five teeth. Traumatized. That’s the kind of dating story I would get. Just the disasters.

**John:** Yeah. I think I miss being young. I miss my youth. But I think if I were to ask that person then like what do you want, I totally want exactly what I have now which is like a really happy marriage and family and all the stuff. So I’m just the luckiest person alive. So I don’t miss that dating.

**Craig:** Yeah. Well that’s the idea. That you know what you want. You get what you want.

**John:** I won.

**Craig:** You’re happy with want you want. And you don’t need to, for instance, surgically alter Mike.

**John:** I do not.

**Craig:** He’s perfect, except for this one slice.

**John:** No, no. Perfect.

**Craig:** I want to meet this guy. This guy sounds awesome actually.

**John:** Thanks Craig.

**Craig:** Thank you John.

Links:

* [Lil Yachty Uno Movie](https://deadline.com/2021/02/mattel-uno-lil-yachty-1234687330/)
* [PayUpHollywood Results](https://drive.google.com/file/d/10movS-DYGCxXdFf0daf1XnVSAmv2bWH4/view) and [article](https://medium.com/@elizabeth.alper/the-2020-payuphollywood-survey-results-are-here-3e5c6be8744f)
* Thank you to [Liz Alper](https://twitter.com/LizAlps?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor) and [Jamarah Hayner](https://jkhconsultingservices.com/about/)!
* The Gamestop movie at [Netflix](https://deadline.com/2021/02/netflix-gamestop-stock-movie-screenwriter-mark-boal-noah-centineo-scott-galloway-makeready-1234684568/), [MGM](https://deadline.com/2021/01/mgm-ben-mezrichs-the-antisocial-network-wall-street-1234684378/), and [RatPac](https://www.wsj.com/articles/reddits-wallstreetbets-founder-sells-life-story-to-movie-producer-ratpac-entertainment-11612440001?cx_testId=3&cx_testVariant=cx_2&cx_artPos=0#cxrecs_s)
* [Rachel Miller](https://twitter.com/RachMiller) [Twitter Thread](https://twitter.com/RachMiller/status/1357048517143851008)
* Check out Rachel’s nonprofit [Film2Future here!](https://www.film2future.org/)
* [What the next generation of editors need to tell their political reporters](https://presswatchers.org/2021/01/what-the-next-generation-of-editors-need-to-tell-their-political-reporters/) by Dan Froomkin
* [Whitney Houston and Brandy singing Impossible from Cinderella](https://twitter.com/ivyknowIes/status/1357387970807005185?s=20)
* [Stella Zawistowski](https://twitter.com/stellaphone)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/gifts) or [treat yourself to a premium subscription,](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/) also we’re now offering annual memberships!
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Matthew Chilelli ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/487standard.mp3).

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