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Scriptnotes Ep 452: The Empire Strikes Back with Lawrence Kasdan, Transcript

May 26, 2020 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here.](https://johnaugust.com/2020/the-empire-strikes-back-with-lawrence-kasdan)

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Today’s episode contains a few bad words and also spoilers for The Empire Strikes Back, which really if you haven’t seen The Empire Strikes Back? That’s crazy. You should see that movie. Enjoy.

Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** And my name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 452 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the program it’s a deep dive into The Empire Strikes Back, looking back at how this 1980 sequel to Star Wars works on a script level and a story level. To help us do that we are joined again by screenwriter Larry Kasdan who not only wrote Empire and other Star Wars films, but also Raiders of the Lost Ark, Body Heat, The Bodyguard, Big Chill, and so many more movies it’s just exhausting. Welcome back Lawrence Kasdan.

**Lawrence Kasdan:** Thank you. Glad to be back. I love this podcast.

**Craig:** We’ve arranged things so that you can see into everybody’s room. You requested that you could see into people’s rooms.

**Lawrence:** Some of them have stymied me there with their glossies.

**Craig:** Yeah. No, a few of these people have head shots up perhaps hoping to be the next Indiana Jones or something.

**John:** We are doing this live on Zoom. We love to do live shows for the Writers Guild Foundation. This is a live show for the Writers Guild Foundation, but instead of being in a big theater with a bunch of people around us we are staring into living rooms and bedrooms and other rooms of people here on Zoom. Thank you to the Writers Guild Foundation for putting this together. Thank you everyone who came. We have 200 and some people in this Zoom room watching us live.

**Craig:** On the way to 500 I believe.

**John:** That’s pretty exciting. Now, Larry we’ve had you on the show before. You were a guest on Episode 247. That was way back in 2016. A different lifetime. We were talking about Raiders. We were talking about the Star Wars movies you were working on. Today on this program we want to do a deep dive where we really focus in on one project and really the story and script behind that project. We’ve done this for The Little Mermaid, we did this for Raiders. And being the 40th anniversary of Empire Strikes Back we really want to talk about the process of getting from, OK, we’re doing a sequel to Star Wars to the movie that we saw.

And to do that we have you, but we also have your handwritten pages from that script beforehand. So at some points during this video I’m going to be showing you some of those pages and we’re going to talk through scenes that look like the final scenes in the movie and scenes that are very, very different. So I’m excited to get into this.

Lawrence Kasdan, talk us through how you became involved with The Empire Strikes Back. So, Star Wars was of course a phenomenon, but when was your first involvement with Empire?

**Lawrence:** I had just written Raiders of the Lost Ark and it had taken me about six months. And I took the script up to George, handed it over to him in a very ceremonial way. And he said, “Let’s go out to lunch.” And he said, “I’m in real trouble on the next Star Wars. Would you write it?” And I said don’t you want to read Raiders first? He said, “I’m going to read it tonight. If I don’t like it I’ll take back this offer.” But he did like it and almost immediately – I had to have a break – but a few weeks later we started this and wrote Empire very quickly.

**Craig:** And part of the reason that he was talking to you was because the first writer on Empire, Leigh Brackett, was pretty sick and did end up passing away. So you guys, even though you’re co-credited, you don’t really overlap in the creation of Empire.

**Lawrence:** No. And I wish I had met her because she’s a legendary writer, both science fiction and screenwriting, and written great westerns which I love. She’s got a credit on The Big Sleep, one of my favorite movies. So she was a giant. But I never met her because she was hired to do it and she became very sick. She handed in a draft which I maybe saw once. But when George made this proposition to me at lunch she had already passed away. He said there’s a thousand people working in England and we have no script.

**Craig:** When we hear someone say, or imagine ourselves on the receiving end of, “Hey, do you want to write Raiders of the Lost Ark,” it’s already nerve-racking. But Raiders of the Lost Ark wasn’t a thing when you wrote Raiders of the Lost Ark. But Star Wars was the thing of all things.

**Lawrence:** Yes.

**Craig:** Did you feel anxious? Were you terrified? Or were you like, meh.

**Lawrence:** I was a little bit tired from finishing Raiders. I was worried about their reaction. So I was in kind of a haze. And when he said, you know, will you come on and help me with Empire you can’t really be shocked. At that point I had been trying to get into the business so long and had seen enough things. You know that once you get hired then things start to work. It’s murder to get hired. And no one wants to hire someone they’ve never heard of.

The second they have a decent credit everybody wants to hire you, even though they don’t know if you’re good or bad.

**Craig:** Yes.

**Lawrence:** So I sort of wasn’t surprised. He’s in trouble. He knows I just delivered a script. Maybe—

**John:** Maybe you’re the guy. So, we got to read through the transcript of Raiders, and so the conversations you were having with Lucas and Spielberg about the intentions going into Raiders, was there an equivalent session with you and George Lucas and other folks involved about what the goals were going to be going into Empire? The sequel to the surprise hit movie Star Wars. What were those initial conversations about in terms of intention, and hopes, and things you wanted to see this movie do?

**Lawrence:** My first real conversation was in private with George. And when I had had my little break and I came back up to the ranch and we were talking alone. And he said, “You know, Darth Vader is Luke’s father.” And I said, no shit. I thought that was just fantastic. And it was clear to me that that meant the second movie was going to be very different from the first. And you must know that I love the first one. I love The New Hope. I think it’s one of the great movies. And it changed the world.

But part of its fun and why it was irresistible to people is it was so light and fast. And you never stopped for a second to talk about character or to have very much intimate scenes. There are a couple things if you get three lines between two characters it’s a big deal. But everything around it is perfect and I learned over the years with George that that’s his greatest desire to move fast and entertain people. And anything else is gravy as far as he’s concerned.

Well that was not my point of view on writing. That’s not the things I had been writing. And I could tell when he told me about Darth and Luke that that opened up a whole different kind of movie than the first one. So without taking anything away from the first one, which to me is the greatest Star Wars movie, this was going to be a different animal. And he seemed to be receptive to that. And, you know, for the next year or whatever it was as they went into production and I was around sometimes it was clear that there was always this slight frisson, a tension between my desire to have the characters to be a little more – have a little more depth, to let the love scenes play a little bit, to let Yoda’s philosophy be heard. And always George’s instinct to go fast, or faster, faster.

And looking at the movie now I think it really combines those things pretty well. And I’m amazed by how much action there is in it. And how well it works. And I’m amazed that there is a chance to know these characters. And the actors embraced that idea, of course, that now they had something more to play.

**Craig:** There’s a moment early on in the film that I think hearing you talk embodies that for me. It’s a fascinating combination of let’s call it George and Larry. There’s a classic Campbellian story trope of the call to action. And we all know that George was kind of student of Joseph Campbell. And so early on in Empire Strikes Back there’s a call to action. Obi-Wan appears like a vision to Luke and says, “You’re going to go to Dagobah and meet up with Yoda and become a Jedi knight.” Classic. And it’s such a fascinating kind of your mentor reappearing and giving you this interesting challenge. At the same time he’s freezing to death and he’s just escaped from this monster that beat him up. And he’s going to die. And I remember even as a kid feeling like this is what movies do better than anything is they give you two stories at once and it makes sense on top of each other.

I remember just almost laughing at the thought that ghost Obi-Wan didn’t give a damn, which meant he was going to be OK.

**Lawrence:** Meant he’s going to be OK. You know, it’s a trap that people can fall into that maybe this character isn’t going to live, you know. But as soon as Ben tells him what his next chapter is going to be you know that he’ll be OK. Now you pretty much knew that anyway. This is Luke Skywalker. And you know that Han Solo is already looking for him. So you think [Obi pretty good]. But it’s an actual release of pressure like in a steam pipe.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Now, talk us through this early part of the process. You’re having these conversations with George. Was there an outline document? At what point were things being written down in terms of your marching orders and this is what you’re going to try to write?

**Lawrence:** Yeah, I don’t remember in detail, but I know that George – and he was under such pressure. And Leigh had passed away. And he got something down. You know, that’s a great habit to have. Get something down so you can talk about it. And George was a great one for doing that.

So I’m sure that we worked somewhat from his notes. And then very quickly Irvin Kershner became involved, the director. And he was an enormous influence on everything because he was such an unusual, eccentric character. He had actually taught George at USC briefly. He had made New York gritty human adult dramas before that. And when his name was announced to do the second Star Wars people were amazed. You couldn’t understand it.

But Irvin was the kind of guy, he would come in and just embrace. There’s a lot of his qualities in – all of us I think in Yoda. If you’re going to do something just do it. And it didn’t matter that he made The Eyes of Laura Mars or Loving or whatever. He was going to do this now.

**Craig:** Right.

**Lawrence:** And it was a big change for him, a big break for him in a way because it was a big expensive movie that he’d never made.

**Craig:** Well there’s something that’s happened culturally that I’m kind of fascinated by. In your mindset as a writer when you come on something like that you know you’re writing the sequel to the biggest movie of all time. It’s this cultural touchstone for every generation. But it’s still a time where a studio might say we’re making another Star Wars and everybody goes, “Great,” and they’re not particularly freaked out by the fact that somebody has been chosen as a director and this guy who has never written anything we know has been chosen as the writer.

So there’s a certain freedom.

**Lawrence:** Yes.

**Craig:** And it strikes me that now if there’s a property, a franchise that kind of exemplifies a kind of total scrutiny it’s Star Wars. And you’ve been involved in Star Wars since. I mean, you worked on what is it, I lose track of the numbers, on eight? Seven and nine? Is that what you worked on? Seven and nine.

**Lawrence:** I worked on seven.

**Craig:** Seven. And you see the hoopla.

**Lawrence:** And then we did the separate Solo movie.

**Craig:** And then you did the Solo movie.

**Lawrence:** So that was four of these that I was involved with.

**Craig:** Did you have any sense at the time that you were kind of working under an interesting shroud of anonymity even though the property was so famous and global?

**Lawrence:** Absolutely. And you know Skywalker Ranch was a heavily secured area. When people got into Skywalker Ranch they felt grateful. The same way I feel every time I drive onto a movie lot. I’m sort of surprised that they let me in and I’m OK and they’re going to tell me where to park. That’s a big deal. Because for years I looked at the gates to studios and just wanted to get in there.

But Skywalker was much more intense than that. And people did not wander around Skywalker. And we were working up there in Marin and it was private. And I didn’t write up there. I wrote at home in LA. But when we had any of these meetings we would go up to the ranch. And this group of people, Kershner for sure, and then some other people would join, producers, Gary Kurtz occasionally. But Gary was really focused in England. He is the producer and he had produced Star Wars. But things were really rolling in England and so he wasn’t much involved in the story.

**John:** Now how early in the process did you know that you were really going to follow two very different threads? So you’re going to have Luke going off with Yoda and his whole quest line and you’re going to have Han and Leia and Lando Calrissian. How early in the process did you know that those two storylines would be separate for most of the movie?

**Lawrence:** I knew it immediately because that happens in the first movie. You know, the secret and the fun of Star Wars is it’s never one story happening alone. There’s always somewhere to cut to. When you get bored with the scene you just cut to the other storyline and it gives you an enormous burst of energy. Now suddenly you’re back to the other thing. Maybe the other thing, the one you were on, is playing itself out, you’re out of ideas, and now you have a whole chance to make a different movie right butted up against it.

And there’s a lot of that in Raiders, although it’s mostly from Indy’s point of view. But Star Wars, the first Star Wars was like that, back and forth. And even when they were together they get split up in the Death Star. And you’re just cutting back and forth. And so I knew going in this is going to have the same contouring.

**John:** All right. So we’re going to start looking at your handwritten pages and your edits along the way. But I’m really curious about the actual physical process of writing a screenplay back in, this would be 1978, ’79, ’80. And so this is probably before Final Draft at that point. What were you actually writing on? Were things being typed up–?

**Craig:** Or computers.

**John:** Was this done on a computer? Was this done on something else? What was the actually writing at that time?

**Lawrence:** I had always been a terrible typist. And that’s what some people here won’t even know what a manual typewriter is, or an electric typewriter, but I never mastered it. And so I was always making corrections with White Out. It was a nightmare for me, because I was never a good typist.

And so I hand wrote everything I did up until Grand Canyon. My wife and I did Grand Canyon. That’s when word processing really came in around 1990. And I was thrilled. Because now when you made mistakes it was very easy to correct them. And it changed everything.

But for every movie I did before that I was dependent on a typist who was the middle person between my handwriting, which you’re about to see, which is not good handwriting. But I have everything – all those movies – in handwritten pencil on long legal sheets. And it’s sometimes amazing to me how few changes I made.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Lawrence:** And I do think it gets to the heart of something that’s very important to me which is there’s a completely different feeling about writing longhand than there is working on a computer. And you’re very careful. You don’t want to go back and rewrite that whole paragraph. You can mark out some stuff, but basically you’re thinking about every sentence and every word very carefully. More like a novelist would do. And then you move on.

And, you know, at the end of the day – I’m left-handed which is a terrible thing to be when you’re a hand-writer – and my hand would be cramped and I could not even move it. But Raiders of the Lost Ark, Empire Strikes Back, Big Chill, they all exist handwritten in pencil on long legal pads.

**Craig:** Well it’s the difference in an analogous way to the way we used to edit on old Moviolas where you cut the film and you spliced the film together. And that’s obviously with the advent of nonlinear editing that goes away. And there is no such thing as a semi-permanent cut. Nor is there any more tolerance for the little glitch bits that used to be fairly common in the way that things used to be edited together.

**Lawrence:** And the impact on the art itself, whatever you’re doing, is enormous. You know, I often think, oh, I would like to work that way again, you know. Because not being able to change everything immediately, not being able to lift out paragraphs and sentences and move them around is completely different. So you’re committing emotionally and in your story to that thing it took you so long to hand-write.

And as you go through the process and people said, well, we want this to be different, and different, then there are typists who come in and it’s not quite as imposing.

**Craig:** Yeah. Well, thank god you had Gayle. I was looking through these pages and I was like is Gayle, was she like one of the producers that I didn’t know? Because you’re like, “Gayle,” and it seemed like you were talking to her like, Gayle, forget this stuff. This is no good. I’m so sorry I wrote that. This is what matters.

It turns out Gayle is the typist.

**John:** Yeah. And so I’ve been a hand-writer of scenes for a very long time. And so generally first drafts I would write by hand going back to Go and early things. And so Rawson Thurber and Dana Fox, they were typing up all of my pages. And I didn’t not because – I could type really well, but I did really like the fact that I was committing to a thing. And I wasn’t going back and editing stuff. I was writing the next scene and writing the next scene.

One thing I often notice if I start writing on the computer is that I will just keep rewriting those early pages again and again and again and won’t move on. And handwriting is a way to break yourself of that habit.

**Lawrence:** It really breaks – you don’t want to go back. You don’t want to go through that physical thing again. And when people cavalierly say, “Well just change all that,” it’s a much bigger thing. And you’re thinking about it. You’re going back to the pencil. And the same thing as Craig said, in editing the way movies are edited is completely changed by the way we now edit.

**Craig:** No question.

**John:** Let’s take a look at this draft. And so if you’re watching this live you’re going to see this on your screen. We’re going to take it over. If you are listening to this episode after the fact we’ll have the slides as a link so you can see what it is that we are talking about with this. But this is an early draft and you can tell us when we would have started seeing this. So everyone on their screen should see, we’re going to start with Scene 8. This is your left-handed in pencil writing version of The Empire Strikes Back.

**Lawrence:** Yes.

**John:** So, what are we seeing here? This is–?

**Lawrence:** And this was very early on in the process. It’s at the beginning of the movie. You’re in the Hoth which is like the first act of the movie. And I get everything – when I was handwriting all my originals and everything I always did it in sequence. It’s not necessary to do it that way, but I always did. I wanted to know what was behind me. I never wanted to jump ahead.

So I wrote Empire in sequence as I had done everything else. And so this was very early in the process. And because I was writing so fast, this is, you know, a few days in, and we’re in the Hoth, you know, in the corridors, which is an incredible set that I was lucky enough to visit. I had barely been on a movie set before. And then to have my first real experience be in the ice corridors of Hoth that was pretty amazing.

**John:** So, Craig, should we take a read through this for our listeners at home? I’d love to hear sort of both the scene description and this dialogue which is so iconic. So this is a long scene between Leia and Han. Really establishing the beginning of what their arc is going to be over the course of this movie. So, Scene 8, INT. ICE CORRIDOR. Han strides down a corridor covered from the ice. Leia follows quickly, agitated. Behind them, unnoticed, the arm of a Wampa Ice Monster suddenly detaches from a seemingly solid section of the wall.

Leia says – so do you want to be Leia or Han? Craig, you choose?

**Craig:** Oh, I want to be Leia, obviously.

**John:** Go for it.

**Craig:** Captain Solo.

**John:** Han steps in the quiet corridor and I can’t even read the next word. Going towards Leia.

**Lawrence:** And turns to face Leia.

**John:** Turns to face Leia. Thank you.

**Craig:** Captain Sol—Han. Why are you leaving us now?

**John:** That bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell reminded me of what I’ve got to do.

**Craig:** Does Luke know?

**John:** He’ll know when he gets back. Don’t give me that look, sweetheart. Every day more bounty hunters are – help me with the word?

**Craig:** Searching.

**Lawrence:** Searching.

**John:** Searching for me.

**Craig:** [laughs] Is this how it went on that day? We need Gayle.

**John:** If I don’t pay off Jabba soon – ah, Jabba – there’ll be too many to stop. Remotes – help me out there?

**Lawrence:** Gang killers and who knows what else.

**Craig:** Oh, Gank killers. Now just to pause for a second. Do we ever hear about the Gank killers? I don’t think we heard about the Gank killers in the movie.

**Lawrence:** You know, I’m the worst person to ask. And this has come up many times over the years because when you do gatherings or you’re promoting the movie or you’re at Comic Con people ask you questions. They’re very detailed. They devoted their life to knowing these details and I’ve forgotten. I’ve gone on to other things. So I’m a terrible reference. Pablo Hidalgo who is the head of the history of Lucas Film, he knows everything.

**Craig:** I feel like Gank killers didn’t make it.

**John:** Yeah. And who knows what else.

I’ve got to get that price off my head while I still have a head.

OK, so he’s setting up the danger for Han. Important in this movie, but especially important for future movies. Leia says–

**Craig:** Han, I need you here. The Rebellion needs you.

**John:** Oh, so it’s the Rebellion.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** Not you?

**Craig:** Me? [laughs]

**John:** My little princess. I’m afraid you don’t know yourself very well.

**Craig:** What do you mean?

**John:** When I met you I thought you were not only beautiful but brave. Now I see you’re only beautiful.

**Craig:** I fear nothing in this galaxy.

**John:** You’re afraid of your own feelings.

**Craig:** And what are they? Please, tell.

**John:** And the parenthetical here is “flip,” so just like–

**Craig:** I thought I nailed that.

**John:** I thought you did, too. But I want to make sure for the folks who can’t read this.

You want me to stay because you care for me.

**Craig:** I respect you, of course. You’re a bold fighter. Maybe not the brightest.

**John:** No, you’re highness, those aren’t the feelings I’m talking about.

Leia looks at him. She knows exactly what he means. But pretends to understand only now. She laughs.

**Craig:** You’re imagining things.

**John:** Han steps closer and Leia instinctively steps back. She’s almost against the wall.

**Craig:** Whoever – if anyone had ever been inspired to write slash fiction about you and me, this is it, man. It’s happening now.

**John:** This is the John/Craig slash fiction people have been craving for 450 episodes.

**Craig:** This is hot. Keep going.

**John:** And I cannot even begin to describe what a terrible job I’m doing of this dialogue.

**Lawrence:** You’re fine. You seem fine.

**John:** All right.

**Lawrence:** When we did our last one on Scriptnotes and what you guys have probably done more than anyone in the world, you’ve created a library of reference about screenwriting that never existed before and it’s more voluminous than any book you can get or anything. And it’s a wonderful resource for people. And what I’m interested in talking about whenever you want to and whenever you can is the writing itself. And this scene that we’re in the middle of, in the corridor, is a perfect example, it’s in the movie. As you say, it sets up a lot of things. In fact, nothing really changes, which is her denying her feelings toward him. His being very cocky but uncertain. And that plays throughout the movie.

But what interests is me is there’s always two, three, four things happening at once. So that when he starts toying with her about your feelings, she denies it. But it’s clear from Carrie Fisher and from Harrison that she’s very much in love with him. She’s very drawn to him. And all her denials are baloney. She’s playing a role as a princess.

That kind of stuff is so rich, you know. If the audience – it doesn’t have to be explained to them at all.

**Craig:** Right.

**Lawrence:** You just know. They look at human faces and they say he’s not telling her the whole truth. She’s not telling him the whole truth.

**Craig:** Correct. And it sets up a pattern. Because a great scene, and you know, I’m obsessed with relationships really. We talk about character and I’m always thinking really what we mean is relationships. Because that’s the only way character makes any sense. And that scene as delightful as it is, that kind of meeting, these two people recontextualizing their relationship, sets up a pattern that then influences and enhances every scene to follow between them. Because they will repeat this pattern over and over until he kind of gets it right.

**Lawrence:** Yes.

**Craig:** Which is wonderful.

**Lawrence:** And she is softening every time, too.

**Craig:** Yes.

**Lawrence:** It works on her.

**Craig:** And just like with Luke in the snow, dying, and Obi-Wan showing up and saying while you’re dying I have the exposition for you, they’re going to have this in the belly of a creature that they thought was really an asteroid while they’re hiding from the TIE fighters. So these layers of things make everything better.

**Lawrence:** And, you know, one thing I was reminded looking at the movie is there are two scenes about he’s going to split off and leave the Rebellion and she can’t rely on him and what kind of man is he. And what happens is they get into the Millennium Falcon and they’re together for the rest of the movie.

**Craig:** Right. Right.

**Lawrence:** So all this splitting up turns out to be irrelevant.

**Craig:** That’s another kind of writing question I had for you. There’s a moment that you know about as the writer that nobody else knows about. And sometimes those are kind of the juiciest moments. You know that in Hoth, shortly before they get wind that the Empire is about to attack, that Luke and Leia are going to have the last discussion they’re going to have until the end of the movie. They’re not going to see each other again. And you know that. And sometimes I think writers don’t take enough advantage of the secrets they know that the audience doesn’t know. Because there are things going on in there that just make it all so much more interesting because you’re aware of that.

**Lawrence:** Yes. And that to me is a good part of the fun of screenwriting.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Lawrence:** Because that’s always happening. If it isn’t happening then the scene is probably flat. The scene is probably too simple. It’s always – and the audience, which is so fast, it doesn’t need anything explained really. They get it from one look from an actor. And a lot of stuff is totally redundant when you say it. So they know, oh, these are people and they have mixed feelings about each other. And maybe he knows something she doesn’t know. That’s what gives it all the juice.

**John:** Going back to the scene with Han and Leia that we were just reading through, you talk about in the first movie Lucas was so obsessed with speed and just getting through stuff, this scene actually has more banter than probably any scene in the first movie does and more sort of romantic comedy kind of banter. And yet while we could see some of that stuff with a look, you also need those characters to be in a space and actually enjoying it and you need to see them playing the sport. Because we need to see them hitting back and forth.

**Lawrence:** You know, in A New Hope it starts, but because it was moving so fast and because it was a certain kind of idea of what a movie should be it never pauses to let that play. So they get two strokes and they’re out. And they’re wonderful strokes and people quote those lines for 45 years now. And they’re wonderful. But you really want a little more. What happens after she has that quick comeback?

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** So let’s talk about the relationship between Han and Leia and also between Luke and Leia. Because coming off of the first movie we could anticipate that this was going to be a love triangle. And it seems that that was maybe the initial conception of it. But in your movie it’s not that. So at what point was there a conversation about sort of what Luke and Leia’s relationship is going to be? And what point did you know what that was going to be like?

**Lawrence:** You know, there’s a gray area, a mystery area whenever you talk to George because to hear him tell it, and I think it’s true, he always thought this would be a trilogy. That there was more to the story. On the other hand, if Star Wars had failed there would have been no trilogy. So he wanted it as a standalone. No one really believed there was going to be a sequel to it. When it was coming out no one had any idea what it was going to be.

But once this enormous success happened, it changed everything in George’s life. Not only his acquisition of land and ILM and so on, but it also changed his attitude about what the first one was. And he can find the seeds of everything in the first one. And they’re there because that was his instinct. That was the story he wanted. But they’re not the details. And I honestly believe that he didn’t know about Leia and Luke when he was starting this.

**Craig:** Yeah. It doesn’t seem like it, but that’s OK. I mean, one of the benefits that it seems to me you had from a writing point of view, and I’d love to hear your feelings about this, is that because A New Hope was so compressed in its characterizations and sentiment and relationships that unlike a lot of sequels where you are trying to squeeze a little bit more blood out of something that was plenty bloody to begin with and isn’t so much anymore, you got to kind of create the real relationships. Like I’ve often said one of the reasons that my wife ultimately married me is because–

**Lawrence:** I’ve wondered so much about this.

**Craig:** Yeah. So here it is. But she is a huge Empire Strikes Back fan. And in particular when Han Solo says to Leia, “I think you like me because I’m a scoundrel.” You know, I was her scoundrel. And there was something about where in New Hope, and again an amazing movie, there’s no space for that stuff at all. It’s just sarcasm and fly boy and let’s get out of here.

So you had kind of a unique opportunity with the sequel that I don’t think many people ever get.

**Lawrence:** Absolutely. And that applies to everything in Empire because walking into that room with George and hearing about Vader you say, oh, this is going to give us room to do anything we want. And these characters who were so amusing and charming and fast in the first one, now let’s see who are they? And that was a great invitation. And the same thing applied to the story, because his resources were so much greater now. Every effect didn’t take forever. There were millions of people working on it which there hadn’t been before. So everything got more complicated.

**Craig:** You had this writing challenge of writing for a puppet. And–

**John:** We need to get into Yoda, yeah.

**Craig:** Yeah. We have to talk about Yoda because of all the stuff that – and I don’t know if we’re able to show–

**John:** We think we’ve got it fixed. I think we’ve got it fixed without people being able to hijack us. We’re going to try it.

**Craig:** OK. Try. If they do I’ll freak out again. But of all the stuff that’s handwritten and in this, it seems to me that the Yoda stuff is probably the closest to 1:1. So much of it is there. And it’s kind of goose-bumpy to see and maybe because Yoda was voiced by Frank Oz but not an actor/human being, the dialogue just carried through more linearly from your left hand to the screen. But it’s a remarkable challenge to write for this – it’s not just a new character. It’s not a person that you can even imagine.

**Lawrence:** I know. When George told me there would be a character who played that role in the story and he didn’t know what it would look like yet and he wasn’t sure about what it knew and what it could do, I was excited. Very excited. And he said this is someone who we’ve never seen. We didn’t see in the first one. And I need for him to talk in a new way. Need to have it be very distinctive how he talks. But more importantly and this – both George and I love Akira Kurosawa. The Kurosawa movies, which are the greatest movies in the world, and he is my favorite director, they are full of characters like this.

In fact, the first Star Wars, A New Hope, is practically a mirror of Hidden Fortress in that there’s two little droids, except they’re human beings, and so on. But all through the Kurosawa universe there is a mentor character and there is the son character. There is the innocent and the experienced and the wise and the naïve. And when we were talking about Yoda it was clear that this is a guy that’s in Seven Samurai, my favorite character in Seven Samurai, which is Shimada, the leader of the samurai. And he always has a different reaction to what happens in the scene than everybody else in the scene.

He always sees the big picture and his slower to react because he’s figured it out. And the brilliant thing, and this is good for any writer, is our introduction to him is a beautiful ballet [unintelligible] of violence. You know, it’s approached so calmly and he calmly cuts his samurai [nada] and it takes a long time.

**Craig:** Right.

**Lawrence:** And then it bursts into action and it’s over in seconds. And so you know before he starts being the wise patient one he is also this incredible samurai and physically awesome.

Kershner was such a different person than George. And that created this wonderful friction between them. And if you look at Kershner’s movies you’ll see a lot more run up to the joke. Run up to the gag. Run up to the action. He takes his time. And George likes to just go, go, go. And he ceded it correctly. But it makes all the difference in the world when you look at a movie how quickly you get to the [unintelligible].

**Craig:** Yeah. Well that’s, I mean, Yoda is a great example of Star Wars kind of taking its time. And so we have here the – and so this is a combination of typed and handwritten which is wonderful. So, this is INT. Creature House. So you called him creature. This is a question that we get all the time. When a character becomes revealed, their identity is revealed, what do you call them at first? Well, Yoda’s name was creature. INT. Creature House. The inside of the house is very plain but cozy. Everything is in the same scale as the creature. The only thing out of place in the miniature room is Luke who is cramped by the four-foot ceiling. He sits cross-legged on the floor of the living room.

The creature is in an adjoining area, which serves as the kitchen, cooking up some incredible meal. The stove is a steaming hodgepodge of pots and pans. The wizened little creature scurries about chopping this, shredding that, and showering everything with exotic herbs and spices. He rushes back and forth putting platters on the table in front of Luke.

**John:** Good this will taste. Wait and see, wait and see.

**Craig:** Luke looks around rather amused by his surroundings.

Well, it smells good anyway.

**John:** Why wish you to become a Jedi Knight?

**Craig:** Because of my father, I guess.

The creature gives Luke a questioning look.

My father was a Jedi.

**John:** Yes, yes. But why wish you?

**Craig:** I know it was meant to be.

The creature seems irritated, defensive.

I feel it, that’s all.

**John:** Think you Yoda will be satisfied with that?

**Craig:** Yes…I think so. Yoda will understand. Where is he anyway?

**John:** Very near.

**Craig:** When will I see him?

**John:** When you allow yourself to see.

**Craig:** The creature places a plate of steaming food in front of Luke. The young warrior studies the creature a long time through the steam thinking. Suddenly he understands.

You…you are Yoda?

**John:** That is my name. Why so surprised are you?

**Craig:** So let’s pause for a second. This is not how it works in the movie. And we were talking about this before. And so Larry I want to – this is one of these areas where the movie did a much sort of compressed, faster reveal of Yoda as Yoda. We hear Ben’s voice. Luke hears Ben talking. Then he realizes, oh wait a second, you’re Yoda.

But this was a different conception. And talk us through why this is a preferred way of doing it for you.

**Lawrence:** For me?

**Craig:** Yes.

**Lawrence:** Because the mood and the pace that all the Yoda stuff has up to this point, when he first encounters him out in the swamp, when he’s making the dinner, it’s all about this, which dovetails perfectly with Yoda’s character, which is you do one thing at a time and you take your time and you don’t rush anything. And it’s quiet. It’s very quiet. This is after you’ve seen a third of the movie already practically. And it’s been bang, bang, bang, and fast, fast, fast, and monsters and rocket ships. And here is this quiet place.

In fact, even up to the point where Luke splits off from Han and Leia at Hoth it’s different from that moment on for Luke, for Luke’s story. Theirs continues very much in the same tone.

**Craig:** Inside of this you are like the scene in the movie contrasting the essential problem Luke has, which is impatience, which is immaturity, which is therefore connected to fear, which leads to hate, which leads to dark. It’s all there in him being a young man who just—

**Lawrence:** And in fact even with this beginning that you’re talking about that never made it to the movie that is where it goes very quickly. It goes to a discussion about his patience. It is Yoda interrogating Ben in the after why does he believe in this guy. He seems so impatient. He seems so young. He seems so callow. And Ben is defending him. So that’s always, for writing again, this is a good rule which is when two other characters are talking about someone it reveals all three of them.

**Craig:** Right. Right. That’s a great way of putting it.

**John:** Larry, tell me about the choice of how Yoda speaks? Because it’s so distinctive. We’re so familiar with that now, but you had to come up with that. And so what was the process of getting his verbs inverted and what his voice was going to be like?

**Lawrence:** I think it was what I could think of.

**Craig:** [laughs]

**Lawrence:** And it immediately got a positive response from George. And we never turned back. And I don’t know why. A part of it has to do, you know, it’s sort of Shakespearian in that you don’t start with the subject. There’s that. It slows things down. You have to worry through the sentence to understand. And then that way you’re paying more attention.

You know, it’s funny, in this pandemic we’re in a lot of people are trying to meditate and it give them some relief in a stressful day. But when you look at the introductory scenes of Yoda, he might as well be a meditation teacher. What he says to Luke from the time he lands in the swamp is you’re not looking at the thing itself.

**Craig:** Well let’s read that, because this is one of my favorite – I mean, so I’m reading this from your handwriting and this is what Yoda says.

“To become a Jedi takes the hardest work, the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. But you, Skywalker, I have watched for a long time. All your life have you looked away, to the horizon, to the sky. Never your mind on where you were, what you were doing. Adventure, heh,” I’ll add that in. “Excitement, heh. A Jedi craves not these things.”

That’s like, OK, so I just want to say from a sort of writing is magic point of view that’s magic. Because, again, your left hand put that there. And then it sort of went into the puppet and now it’s not just something that everybody knows and shares from a cultural point of view, it is in a weird way a fundamental part of our understanding of Zen, in the west. This is – you kind of gave us Zen through Yoda.

Talk about how – I mean, it’s one thing to say like, look, Yoda is 800 years old or whatever he was and he knew these things. It’s another thing to say that you were not 800 years old and how did you know these things?

**Lawrence:** Well, you know, I was very interested in, and my brother who is very deeply involved in it and from the second I learned some of these precepts. And they resonated for me. Because I was – to this day I have a problem with not doing one thing at a time. I’m always splitting my decision. And so you turn away. You knock things over. You forget why you came in the room. And it’s not just age, which Craig will say. You’re too distracted. The pandemic is an added distraction to a world that was already incredibly distracting. And so when you can focus and do the thing you really want to do, and feel it, and live it, it can be three seconds, but if you really live it and you pay attention to it it changes everything. And I like that speech.

But what’s unusual about that speech is it really goes to the heart of A New Hope and him looking into the distance, wanting to get away from the ranch, the farm. And you know. So the audience knows, because they knew A New Hope perfectly. Yeah, that’s what he was like on Tatooine.

**Craig:** That’s him. That’s him. Yeah. One other thing I’ll mention about this scene that’s sort of legendary, and a sign of how good of a writer you are, and a crystallization of what good writing is is that you have this wise character who is imparting these deep lessons of wisdom and there’s this young man who now understands that this is a wise old guy who is going to help him. And the ghost of his other mentor has appeared. These are all calming, stabilizing things.

And you understand inherently that in a movie, any movie, but particularly this movie that comforting, stabilizing, explanatory scene has to end in the most destabilizing, threatening way possible, which is Luke saying, “I’m not afraid,” and from your left hand Yoda says, “You will be. You will be,” which is terrifying. The freaking eyes go yeah. It’s always terrifying and I say that to my wife all the time as well, because it’s fun. But that to me is the essence of what it means to craft a great scene. You understood that it was going to begin here with a young man who doesn’t even know what this little thing is and it was going to end with that little thing terrifying that young man.

**Lawrence:** I always struggled to look and usually did not find. But you’re looking for the thing at the end of this scene that throws you into the next one, even if it’s different characters.

**Craig:** Right.

**Lawrence:** You just want to be sling-shotted ahead. And when he says, “You will be,” it opens up the promise of, oh, this movie is going to be cool.

**Craig:** [laughs]

**John:** Had you left that scene earlier on a place where Luke was comfortable or at least like was excited about this next step you wouldn’t have had the same energy jumping into the next scene. You would have lost energy on that cut. And instead you gained a lot of energy by ending the scene on that moment.

So let’s jump ahead to Luke being scared and being afraid, which is this final fight with Vader. And he’s cocky in it and then he’s losing to Vader. And then one of the most iconic moments in cinematic history is the revelation that Darth Vader is actually his father.

Craig, let’s you and I look through the pages that lead up to that. But I’m really curious, you know, you say that Lucas told you, oh, Vader is Skywalker’s father – were you always anticipating that the revelation would happen during this fight, during this moment? Did you experiment with other places?

**Lawrence:** You know, when he said that in the sanctity of his office at Skywalker Ranch it was understood that no one was to know this for the next two years.

**Craig:** Right.

**Lawrence:** And that’s not so easy on a movie. You know, you’ve seen it, how hard it is to keep secure anything. And this was a giant thing that the whole world suddenly would be interested in. So, it was from that moment on never mention it. Never talk about it in public. Never say, you know, in the story conferences. You did not reveal that. And when it came to shooting there were fake pages. And then the very last second it was revealed to the actors.

**Craig:** Right. And a little slightly different here. The way that you reveal it is frankly more subtle I guess is what I would say, from your left hand.

**John:** Yeah, so talking through this, the pages that we’re looking at, it starts in Scene 140 and there’s a Zero-Cold Chamber. Some familiar dialogue here. Some stuff has changed a little bit along the way. And it looks like an addendum page, it’s called Insert A, add to the bottom of Scene 146 or whatever it is. Luke’s sword whistles past Vader and the young warrior is thrown off-balance, his guard down. Vader’s light saber flashes out with deadly skill and cuts Luke’s arm off at the elbow! Luke’s forearm flies away in the wind as the boy himself almost goes over the edge. He can barely stand.

He wipes the tears and blood from his eyes, but still can barely focus on his massive opponent.

And then the next page Vader says, “Search your feelings, my son. But you will know it to be true. Come join your father.” Luke is horror-stricken. Bewildered.

So, Larry, is this an example of that line and that information is being held back from the actors until the very last moment?

**Lawrence:** Yes. That’s right. They did not know. And I had written another ending. I don’t remember what we were dealing with all the time during production, but that was not in there.

One thing, you know, when you’re talking about it John, one of the things that interests me most in life and I try to get into screenplays is this feeling of you do sense things that are not told to you. And we all do it. And you walk into a room with someone and you get a feeling off that person. It could be good, it could be bad. Maybe like I’m getting nothing from that person. And when you think about your own life and you think why did I do that? That’s one of a million mistakes I’ve made. And you feel in your body what is that thing in you.

So, I think that George rightly from A New Hope was playing on something we all know to be true, which is you don’t have to say it, no one has to tell you. You have feelings about the situation. And so when Darth is working on him he’s saying you know this to be true. He wants him to admit it because he knows it is.

**Craig:** And that sequence I have a sense memory as a 10-year-old watching that sequence and knowing early on, like you say, you have a sense of things, even the audience as we’re watching, something is wrong. This is not the usual thing. Where like, good, it’s the good guy versus the bad guy. The good guy is going to shoot the bad guy and it’s over. Or they’re going to have that classic fist fight at the end of the movie and then one of them is going to get kicked off the, you know, the side of the thing and that’s the end of that.

Something is up. You can tell. And the reason you know something is up is because Darth Vader isn’t acting like Darth Vader. This is a guy who randomly just chokes out people. One of the very – by the way, the other thing about you I should say is you’re funny. You are a funny writer. You are a really good, strong comedy writer. And so things like for instance Vader’s, like the running gag of Vader choking out these successive admirals and captain is just funny. But then we get to the end here and he’s not doing it.

So what happens from a writing point of view is instead of us sitting there waiting to see how the inevitable battle concludes. We are now waiting to see why this relationship is not working the way we expect it. And then to satisfy people with what they were not expecting and to make sense of it all retroactively is just tremendous sleight of hand. It’s incredible craft.

And I think sometimes people forget because they think that all it is is like write-write-write, swing-swing, hit-hit, I’m your daddy. What? It’s not like that. Doesn’t work like that at all. There are a billion bad versions of that scene and it’s a credit to the writing that it works.

**Lawrence:** Well thanks. But in A New Hope, you know, the ultimate is in the scene “Feel the Force, Luke.” He’s trying to get the shot down the tiny little hole in the Death Star. And the entire movie is about being in touch with the Force. And he meets Ben who is very much in touch. And in his limited time Ben tries to get this kid to be open to it. And Luke and his father, Anakin, Darth, he knows it. He can track his son across the universe because of feelings that he’s getting.

And that to me is metaphorical for all of our lives. You know? And you just have – you go into a meeting and you have that funny feeling. Wait, this is not right. Why are we having it now? They’re going to tell me something I don’t like here. Or you have a conversation with your family and you say, “Let’s start again. I’m not getting this clear to you. And you’re reacting and we’re not hearing each other.” It’s all there.

The whole saga is about are you in touch with the feelings that are swirling around you.

**John:** That is our show. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli, who also did our outro. Thank you to the Writers Guild Foundation, in particular Enid and Dustin for getting us here.

**Craig:** Thank you guys.

**John:** We love your outros, so Matthew is doing the one for this week, but you should send us your outro for these shows. Send them to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

Larry Kasdan, are you on Twitter? You’re not on Twitter. You should not be on Twitter.

**Craig:** No. But John Kasdan is on Twitter.

**John:** Yeah. Follow John Kasdan. He’s always there.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. We’ll try to put up some slides, the pages we showed. You’ll also find the transcripts. We get those up the week after the episode airs. And Premium members can sign up at Scriptnotes.net for the bonus episodes and bonus segments. Larry Kasdan and everyone, if you guys want to put yourself on video again and wave to Larry Kasdan.

**Craig:** Yeah, we can see you now. Let’s look back into your rooms.

**John:** Aw. We want to see all your rooms.

**Craig:** See, look at you in gallery view. Thanks guys. Thanks for—

**John:** Look at everybody.

**Craig:** Look at how many of you there are.

**Lawrence:** Goodbye everybody. Thanks for coming.

**Craig:** There’s so many.

**John:** Thank you very much for joining.

**Craig:** Thank you guys.

**John:** And thank you to the Writers Guild Foundation.

**Craig:** Thanks everyone.

**John:** Thanks.

**Lawrence:** Thanks everybody.

**Craig:** Bye-bye everybody.

**John:** Bye.

[Bonus segment]

**Craig:** Well maybe we should get in touch with some of the feelings of the folks that are watching and listening. That’s my segue. I’m being Segue Man now. I’m very proud of myself. Yeah.

**John:** Matthew asks, “The ending of Empire Strikes Back is incredible to me because it feels so satisfying yet so many threads are left open. Can you speak to how that was constructed and what some of the challenges were in achieving that?

**Lawrence:** Yeah. That gets to the heart of the movie for me, because I was trained in classical dramatic construction. And if you think of the three-act-play which is what we worked with generally, the first act you get the situation, you get the characters. And then in the second act everything goes to shit. And you want, you know, ideally at the end of the second act it looks like doom. And how will those people ever get back together again? How will they ever forgive each other? Anything like that. It’s always open-ended at the end of the second act. And then the third act hopefully resolves in a way that’s very satisfying.

Well, Empire Strikes Back is the second act. And that makes it – when I realized that immediately I thought this is really fun. Because we don’t have to wrap everything up. We don’t have to tie it all together. We want it to be chaos at the end of this movie.

**Craig:** Right. Ties into this next question from Hillary who asks, “Do you approach writing ensemble dramas like The Big Chill and Grand Canyon differently than writing genre films like Raiders or The Empire Strikes Back? What is different, if anything, about the approach to writing for a franchise with a fantastic intergalactic story world as opposed to something that is very much feet on the ground like Big Chill or Grand Canyon?”

**Lawrence:** I don’t make a big distinction between them. I really think the job is always the same. Within the reality that you’re creating, it doesn’t have to be our reality. But within that there has to be some sense of logic to the world that you’re creating. And that’s true in The Big Chill and Grand Canyon and Star Wars. You know, it’s just – that’s what you want. You want the audience not to be comfortable, not to be put to sleep, but to say I recognize something true here.

**Craig:** Right.

**Lawrence:** So I’m not just thrown out because the guy does something crazy. You know? Or if he does something crazy then it teaches me that he’s crazy.

**Craig:** Right. It’s intentional. It’s always intentional.

**Lawrence:** Yes.

**John:** So Federico asks, “Any dos and don’ts regarding the weaving of world-building and story, especially when setting up a film’s universe in act one?”

So, I’m thinking about this in terms of Yoda, which we just talked about. You don’t do a lot of world-building about who Yoda is or what Yoda is. That universe – he existed in himself and you’re setting up his planet, but only the degree to which you need it. Did you have other documents that are other things thought through in terms of what all this is? Or is your world-building just what we see in the movie?

**Lawrence:** I’m not drawn to that. And the reason I don’t generally, you know, I don’t like development and I don’t like story conferences too much, it’s a very intimate thing to me. It’s got to be the principal is doing it. I don’t want to talk about it intellectually. I don’t want to write it. And I want to know in a material way what is going to happen, what are the props here. Where are we trying to get to within this scene from here to here? What will we use to get there? What will be revealed while we’re doing that about the people in the scene? Even if they just walked into the scene.

Those are the movies I love. It’s not my movie, it’s every movie that trusts the audience and says, “You’ll get it. Just relax.” And you do get it. I remember watching Gravity and thinking she’s doing things in the capsule, I don’t know what they are but know they’re really intense and that she’s running out of time. They don’t ever say that. You know, it’s all lights and stuff on the thing. And she’s working as fast as she can. And I so admired that. The presumption that the audience will figure it out.

**Craig:** Great. Let’s see if – want to do one more question?

**John:** I was going to do Jeff’s question.

**Craig:** Great. Do it.

**John:** Jeff asks, “It’s always fun to hear about discarded early ideas. What were some wild ideas you or George had early on that were never shot and were discarded?” Do you remember some things that came up early in this process that like what if we did this and you [crosstalk]?

**Lawrence:** No. I don’t have that kind of memory. And this scene that we talked about that did not get shot the way I had written it, it had been reprinted in [Unintelligible] Magazine, my handwritten pages. And when I saw it after many years, I thought, oh, that’s pretty good. You know, when you’ve come upon something you’ve written years and years ago you say that’s pretty good. And I thought it was in the movie. And then watching the movie the other night it wasn’t there. I was freaked out. I said well this other scene is there and I like mine better. You know? And they both end up at the same place, but they start completely differently.

So, memory is really tricky. And, you know, you think you remember something but in fact you’ve created a new history that you’ve convinced yourself is real.

**Craig:** Well, I’m sorry that we played any part in disrupting that history for you. [laughs] I feel terrible now. The movie had been perfect.

**John:** One of the reasons I was really excited to talk with you about this movie though is that I think we do rewrite a history and make it seem like everything was inevitable. That it was inevitable that off of Star Wars you would have Empire Strikes Back, but it was the furthest thing from inevitable. It went through Leigh had done a script and Lucas was struggling to get a script. You were able to sort of deliver a thing that could be shot. But it wasn’t at all obvious how you make a sequel to that movie, or even if it was a good idea to make a sequel to that movie. Because sequels were not a popular thing.

I mean, Empire was the reason why we have sequels to a large degree to these big franchise movies and we even come into some of these giant movies with the idea of like “and then we will make it into a trilogy.” That whole thing starts with Star Wars. So it’s so helpful to have you talk through these initial stages.

**Lawrence:** Speaking to that, I will say that I find, you know, I’m a big basketball fan, sports fan. When someone wins the Super Bowl, my guy wins the Super Bowl for the sixth time, you say well there’s something – he’s the greatest there ever was because who could do that? But what you know if you’re a really big fan, every one of those seasons if you watched every game there was a moment when they almost lost. You know, if it wasn’t a rout.

And somebody made a catch you couldn’t believe, or someone dropped a pass that you can’t believe. And all those things, it happens in basketball all the time. The last minute shot. The fumble. The turnover. And what looks inevitable when they’re standing there, him holding the championship trophy, was not inevitable at all.

And I feel that moviemakers are like that, too. When you put it out there there’s a sense of like well that’s going to be it for now. I’m not going to change this. And there is kind of solidity to it. But up to that moment in the cutting room everything is up for grabs. And there is no inevitability about it.

Very often the things you thought would make it inevitable are superfluous and the audience doesn’t need them.

**Craig:** So, see, that’s what good writers sound like when they talk. He knew that we had come to an end and proceeded to deliver a perfect summary. A wonderful anecdote with an analogy that wrapped everything up and made it perfect.

**Lawrence:** [laughs]

**Craig:** Outrageous. [laughs] It’s outrageous. You just know how to do it. God, it’s just–

**Lawrence:** You’re very nice. I love being with you guys.

**Craig:** We love you, too. We love you, too. Greatest living screenwriter, Larry Kasdan. I’ve said it a million times. And I’ll say it after you’re gone. [laughs]

Links:

* Find Lawrence Kasdan’s Handwritten Script [here](https://johnaugust.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/empire-handwritten-pages.pdf).
* [Scriptnotes 247, The One with Lawrence Kasdan](https://johnaugust.com/2016/the-one-with-lawrence-kasdan)
* Thank you to the [Writer’s Guild Foundation](https://www.wgfoundation.org/events/all/2020/5/5/online-conversation-revisiting-the-empire-strikes-back-with-lawrence-kasdan) for hosting us!
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Matthew Chilelli ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/452standard.mp3).

 

Scriptnotes, Ep 446: Back to Basics, Transcript

April 21, 2020 News, Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/back-to-basics).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this Episode 446 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show we go back to fundamentals to discuss what screenwriting actually is and what both new and experienced writers need to keep in mind as they start their work. Then we’ll answer a bunch of listener questions on how the pandemic will effect writers’ creative and career decisions.

**Craig:** Hmm.

**John:** Craig, we are back to basics. It’s just you and me talking on Skype. We’ve got no Zoom. I don’t see you, I’m just hearing you. It feels familiar.

**Craig:** Yeah. You and I have always been quarantined essentially. We have socially distanced from each other our whole lives. And we continue to be socially distant and yet in each other’s lives. We’ve moved our Dungeons & Dragons campaign online.

**John:** It was hugely successful. Craig, thank you for your hard work getting that set up.

**Craig:** My pleasure. You know, tip of the hat to Roll20. That’s what we’re using. It’s a very powerful platform. It’s not at all welcoming to new people. Like if you are not a programmer, I guess. But once you dig in and you kind of go through it and as the case was – I talked to a friend of mine named Thor – Thor, from Norway – who walked me through some of the fundamentals that you would have never known otherwise. I mean, I went through the tutorial and the “goggles do nothing.” [laughs]

And so I had to do a little bit. But once you get into it it is incredibly powerful and delivers an excellent experience I think. It seemed like our first session was a hit.

**John:** It was a hit. So, Craig maybe a few weeks into this as you become a master at doing this I might ask you to do a screen recording just to walk people through the basics because it really was hard for me to figure out what was going on and bless you for all the hard work you did. But I just feel like you can pay it forward by maybe doing a screen recording, talking through what people need to know about having it set up.

**Craig:** That’s a great idea. I can definitely Roll20 for Dummies because it is not easy. And happy to relay what I have learned. Because there’s a lot.

**John:** There’s a lot. All right, this is the first of two episodes this week. So in addition to the episode you’re listening to right now later in the week we’ll be having the audio from a live show that we’re doing which will have already happened by the time you’re listening to this. We’re doing another one of our live shows where we are on Zoom. We’re streaming it through to YouTube folks. This will be a live Three Page Challenge. I hope it goes well. I think it will go well. Dana Fox is scheduled to be our guest for that.

So our episode with Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Ryan Reynolds was really fun and a good conversation. So I think we’re going to keep trying to do some of that, at least during this weird pandemic-y time when people are stuck at home and looking for reasons to see hopeful and joyful. So we’ll keep trying to do some of these to mix it up a bit.

**Craig:** Well, when you want hopeful and joyful you turn to Dana Fox who is a ray of sunshine.

**John:** She is. She’s terrific. So, listen for that later on this week. Or if you’ve already watched it by this point it will come up in your normal Scriptnotes feed down the road.

A lot of people have written in asking about our setup and sort of how we do things. So I thought we might spend a minute or two talking about how we record normal episodes versus how we are recording these special episodes. So this is a normal episode for you and me. You and I are talking live over Skype, but we are also recording our audio independently on our own computers. And that’s a really useful thing for people to try to know if they’re trying to do this kind of stuff because that way when Matthew gets the audio he gets clean audio of me and clean audio of you.

So the track I’m sending to Matthew only has me talking. The track you send only has you talking. Matthew is able to join them up and cut between them seamlessly so if he wants to cut out all the times I stumble over my words it’s very smooth and easy to do. Or all the obscenity-laced tirades that Craig gets on. It’s very simple.

**Craig:** It’s an equal amount of those things. It is interesting. I’ve done a few other podcasts, like as a guest, and they are so grateful to hear that I can record my side of the audio properly. Because they’re just used to people essentially phoning in on whatever they have. So it’s a nice thing that we can do it this way. And microphones, I mean, there are nice ones that cost a little bit more, but there are some pretty affordable ones that would vastly improve the quality of any recording that you do into your computer.

**John:** Absolutely. So we’ll put in the show notes a link to the little USB mic that Craig and I use for when we’re traveling or if we need to send it to a guest who is going to be joining us for an extended period of time. It’s great. It’s useful. And it does make a difference for a podcast. When people are just talking on Zoom you sort of forgive it because everyone is sort of used to how audio sounds when there’s video associated with it, but for a podcast it really does sound better if you can find any kind of proper microphone to record into.

**Craig:** No question.

**John:** Now, for the live shows where Craig and I are on Zoom talking and we have guests coming in, we’re using the Zoom webinar feature, which is about $40 a month. We’re doing that because it’s a little bit more secure. It allows me to invite panelists who are all the people whose faces you see. And those panelists get special invitations so it doesn’t get out in the world. It’s not going to be guest-able. We’re not going to get Zoom-bombed.

And the webinar feature also has a useful thing where you can click a button to stream onto YouTube. And so I’m doing that and it’s going to my YouTube channel. It’s pretty good. It’s not perfect. I wish I knew how to create a blank livestream before I actually start pumping to it. And I don’t quite know how to do that. I’m not sure it really is possible. So, we had some hiccups this last time doing it, but it works pretty well. And so given where we’re at in 2020 I’m happy that we’re able to stream it out to the folks on YouTube live.

**Craig:** Could you not create a second YouTube account that is just for testing?

**John:** We absolutely could. What I really would ideally love to see – so it’s not even about the testing. It’s that tomorrow’s show at 10am, we are all getting online at 9:55. We will quickly make sure that we’re setup and proper and correct. But I don’t want to start that livestream until we’re ready because the minute I do it we’re all there in front of the cameras working live. What I’d love to be able to do is create a dummy thing that was there that was ready so the minute we start piping to it. Instead I have to send people to my general John August page and say like at 10am it will suddenly show up.

**Craig:** Got it.

**John:** That’s the issue.

**Craig:** I see.

**John:** I’d love for there to be a waiting room where people could hang out.

**Craig:** Sure. No, that makes total sense. I get it.

**John:** For now this is great and I’m delighted with what we’ve been able to do so far.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, we get to air television shows from our home. I mean, 1979 John August is surely listening to 2020 John August going, “Dude?”

**John:** “What are you complaining about?”

**Craig:** You can air a television show to the world.

**John:** Indeed. All right. Some follow up. On previous episodes we talked about Support our Support Staffs which is a fundraiser, a GoFundMe we did to help raise money for Hollywood support staff. This was with the Pay Up Hollywood folks. Craig and I were sort of initial seed donors to this. We ended up roping in a bunch of people and raising about half a million dollars to pay out money to support staff who have been laid off as the pandemic has swept across the industry.

That was successful. Some news this last week is that we got a bunch of the checks out but more people kept coming. More applicants kept coming in and it became clear that, wow, somebody other than us is going to be much better at actually processing the checks and sending them out. So, we announced that we’re moving all of that infrastructure over to the Actor’s Fund which is a longstanding Hollywood charitable foundation that sends out money to people in need, not just actors but everyone else in the industry.

So, we partnered up with them so they will be handling the back end administration on all this stuff going forward.

**Craig:** That’s got to be a relief. I mean, I’ve been on the board of two charities and it’s like any other business. It’s a lot. There’s a lot to do. Just a side thing about charities and the money that is required to run charities. There’s a whole interesting discussion – good bonus topic maybe for us one day – the economics of running a charity. And why our obsession with bottom line is probably hurting charities.

**John:** I think that’s a great topic. In fact, let’s have that be our bonus topic for our Scriptnotes Premium members at the end of this episode.

**Craig:** Fantastic.

**John:** Another bit of follow up. So, back when I was on the WGA board I was one of the people heading up this No Work Left Behind campaign which is where we are trying to convince our members but also the town to recognize how important it was to not leave documents behind after a pitch. Basically why you should not do that free writing in order to get the job or to leave that written up version of your pitch after you’ve had that meeting, why it was a really bad idea to be doing that.

So we had messaging, we had videos, we had a bunch of stuff. In this time where those meetings are not happening face to face weirdly what I’ve found is that there’s been a lot more pressure to write up stuff and send it in because like, well, you kind of weren’t in the room so it’s easier than getting on a Zoom.

So this last week I helped out with an article that we sent out to all the WGA members reminding people like, hey, just because we’re in strange times here doesn’t mean that the fundamental ideas of not leaving writing behind have changed. That it’s actually in some ways even more important not to be doing that free work and sending it out there in the world.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So, I point people to this article. But I just wanted to talk through sort of what you’ve found, Craig, in this time of Zoom meetings.

**Craig:** Well I haven’t had to have too many Zoom meetings because mostly I’ve been kind of covered in terms of what the work was initiated before all the shutdown began. I did have one sort of large conference call, but that wasn’t a Zoom thing. It was just audio, like the good old days.

I am concerned a little bit – look, I’ve always had issues with managers. That’s kind of been a little bit of a hobby horse of mine as any manager can tell you. And I’m a little concerned that they might be a bit loosey-goosey about this because they also act as producers. And things can get really mushy there when your representative is producing. This is literally the problem that we had with the agencies is that they were engaging in production or working with companies in a way that kind of made them aligned with the company financially through packaging.

Well, managers have always done this. And I do get concerned that when a manager is in a producing position, or even if a manager is not in a producing position but has produced anything else with a company that your own representation is going to put pressure on you as well. This is a very difficult thing. We have now, you and I, 20, 25 years of experience of the Writers Guild attempting to try and fix problems like this. And in the end we always run into the same essential problem which is that it comes down to individuals in individual moments, when they feel powerless and afraid, and I can only imagine that people feel even less powerful and even more fearful now.

All we can say to you is to be prudent about this and have faith in the value of your own work because if you give it to them for free you are devaluing yourself in that moment strategically and your work in that moment strategically. They are going to bluff you like good poker players and your job is to recognize that you have the hand that is best. Play it that way.

**John:** I am going to attempt a metaphor that may completely fall apart as I articulate it, but I’m going to try it right now.

**Craig:** Love it.

**John:** So I would say No Writing Left Behind is in some ways the face mask of the screenwriter profession. So here’s what I mean by no writing left behind. The face mask offers some protection to you, but also protects everyone else around you. The ways that No Writing Left Behind protects you is that the minute you’ve given them a document you don’t know what’s going to happen with that document. You don’t know if they’re going to use that and send it up the chain. If they’re going to incorporate some of those ideas into other stuff. If they’re going to drill down into that document and try to pull meaning out of it that really was not your intention.

So, the minute you’ve given them a document to focus on that becomes the thing rather than the possibility of working with you. So that is a way that you’re protecting yourself. But I think it’s also protecting everyone else around you. If you are turning in that free work, if you’re giving them that stuff for free it’s making it harder and harder for the next writer and the next writer to protect themselves from having to do that. Because it’s become a norm to turn in that stuff.

Even though as we’ve discussed before on the show it is actually really dangerous for companies to be taking that unpaid material into their possession because that is a huge copyright violation potentially happening there. So, for everyone’s protection just don’t be handing in those written documents before you have a signed contract.

**Craig:** For everyone’s protection. It’s absolutely right.

**John:** So, that metaphor kind of worked.

**Craig:** I’m with it. I’m with it.

**John:** So I’ve had a lot of new work that’s come up during this time of Zoom meetings. And where I’m pitching on Zoom a lot, there’s probably a project I’m going to be going out with that’s pitching on Zoom. And I found myself thinking like, oh, I should just write this up and send this in. And stopping myself and realizing, oh, you know what, that is actually a really bad idea for all the reasons I just articulated. But also in some ways because these virtual meetings are so easy to set and establish it’s very easy for me to send emails saying like, “Hey, let’s get online again and let me talk you through this point. Or if you need me to pitch to that other group let’s get on Zoom.” Everyone is available. Everyone – I can talk to everyone.

So it’s not about sort of like this executive is flying in from Montreal, how are we going to talk with him? Things that used to be physical meetings or hard to organize are now actually really simple. So it becomes very easy to just pitch it. So I still am writing the same stuff I always wrote, but like always I’m just talking it aloud rather than actually handing it in to somebody.

**Craig:** Yeah. And look you do have some leeway when it’s original material of course because it’s yours. So, people obviously submit spec scripts. That doesn’t count as writing you left behind and all that stuff. But if there’s any concern whatsoever that you could be compromising your own leverage, just don’t do it. I mean, I think what you’re saying is it could not be easier right now to have people jump on good old Zoom. So that’s my theory is stay safe. I think your mask analogy is actually perfect.

**John:** Great. One other bit of news that came up this week, and I don’t know if you had a chance to look through these articles that people sent through. This is a Supreme Court decision that came back regarding copyright law and state government and the intersection between the two. Craig, do you want to give us a quick summary of what happened here.

**Craig:** Well, sure. It doesn’t actually even matter what the case was about. What matters is this. The Supreme Court essentially said that individual states cannot be sued by individual people over violation of copyright. As far as I can tell it seems to come down to the separation of powers between states and the federal government because it’s a federal law. And somehow one way or another, I mean, copyright is written into the constitution, but somehow one way or another the Supreme Court – and this was not one of those 5-4 decisions. This was unanimous. The Supreme Court said a state, a United States state, has immunity from federal lawsuits charging copyright infringement.

And that’s fascinating.

**John:** It is really fascinating. So it’s worth looking at the original case because I remember hearing this as a podcast a year or two ago before it went to the Supreme Court. It revolves around this videographer who is brought in to record footage of this Black Beard pirate ship that had been found. And the state government ended up using it. I guess it was Florida. Ended up using some of that footage and some of those photos for its own purposes without compensating him. And that was the initial lawsuit was about that.

The reason why we’re talking about it on Scriptnotes is that you can extend this to in theory a state could take copyrighted film material, copyrighted written material and use it for its own purposes without incurring a violation which seems not great. So it could mean that a state could take a book and sort of publish it itself and send it out to everybody and there would not be recourse for the author or the publisher to go after the state.

I would be surprised if we get to that point. I would be surprised if suddenly every state is sort of taking Spider Man and making their own Spider Man movies. But the kernel in there, there’s nothing kind of preventing it based on this Supreme Court decision.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, that’s right. Currently if the state of California saw a shortfall in its funding and decided it was going to, I don’t know, self-fund a Mickey Mouse cartoon or a new Avengers movie they could. That said, it does seem like what the Supreme Court was saying was that Congress could fix this. This is a weird loophole that can be closed if – I think Justice Breyer said, “A more tailored congressional effort through legislate in this area might pass constitutional muster.” So it may come to pass.

But it is not a pleasant feeling to know that the state can just essentially just grab your work and reprint it. Or adapt it. That’s a strange one. So, so far it does seem like it has occurred in this very narrow sense. But odd. I sent this to Ted Elliott immediately because I said this is the best intersection of your interests I can imagine – copyright law and pirates.

**John:** Yeah. That is a really strange intersection. So Ted Elliott, writer of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie and lots of other amazing movies, the original Aladdin, who can talk in exhausting circles about anything related to federal law and copyright law. So, this is of course right up his alley.

**Craig:** I was so happy to send it to him.

**John:** Yes. So we’ll keep an eye on this. I doubt that there will be a huge repercussion in the near term for anything related to what we are doing. Honestly, I could imagine this would be a story that would have sent shockwaves through the industry in a time when the industry was functioning at all normally, but this is just not a thing that anyone is focused on right now.

**Craig:** And it won’t. I don’t think this will result in actual shockwaves.

**John:** Because Disney will not allow it to happen.

**Craig:** Well, yeah. Good luck to the state of Florida trying to do that and Disney is like, oh OK, we’ll just remove our weird kind of extra governmental fiefdom from your state. I mean, that is a whole other area by the way that is fascinating is Disney’s weird country inside of Florida. It’s bizarre what they’ve worked out. Anyway, another time.

**John:** Another time. All right, well this is a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. And so I thought we might actually take this time in Episode 446 to define screenwriting and what screenwriting actually is. Because I don’t know if we’ve actually talked about it in actually that much depth weirdly over the course of this. Because Craig, you did your solo episode about how to write a screenplay. That was really sort of fundamentally kind of 101 the things about writing a screenplay. But I wanted to sort of do some backstory about the origin of screenwriting and sort of how screenwriting began to what it has become now. Sort of what those transitions were. I have three things I want to keep in mind as we talk about what a screenwriter does and what screenwriting is. And maybe sort of tease them apart a little bit because I think especially newer people who are approaching screenwriting, which we have a bunch of new people listening just because they watched Ryan Reynolds and Phoebe Waller-Bridge last week, really talk about what the screenwriter does and what screenwriting is about.

**Craig:** I hope that my understanding of it is correct. I’d be very embarrassed if I’m wrong.

**John:** I think you will probably be very, very correct. So let’s talk about the origin of screenwriting because screenwriting as an art form is only about a century old because movies are only about a century old. When the first motion picture cameras were aimed at things and it went beyond just photographing a train coming into a station to actually trying to tell a story with a camera, at some point people recognized, oh, you know what, it would help if we wrote down the plan for what we’re going to do before we actually shot this stuff.

And so those initial things that would become screenplays were sort of just a list of shots, or a plan for how you’re going to do the things. And so when we talk about screenwriting being like architecture that’s kind of what we’re getting to is that sense of like it’s a plan for the thing you’re going to make. It is a blueprint for what the ultimate finished product is going to be which is the finished film, the thing that a person is going to watch which is not the literary document or not the paper document that we’re starting off with.

And, Craig, I don’t know if you’ve seen any of those first screenplays but they don’t closely resemble what we do now.

**Craig:** No. And I think that when people say a screenplay is a blueprint, I always get a little fussy about it. But in this aspect of it that’s exactly what it is. So part of a screenplay – a screenplay is many, many things at once. One of the things a screenplay is and has always been going back to those first ones is essentially a business plan. It is an outline of where you need to be and how long you need to be there and what needs to be seen.

There’s not a lot of art to it. It really is more of an organizational thing and the modern counterpart to it I guess would just be sometimes a director will come in and make a little shot list for the day. That is appropriate to blueprint.

**John:** Yeah. Or agenda. It’s basically these are the steps. This is how we’re going to do it. And because it’s written on 8.5×11 paper and it is done with words rather than a flowchart it feels somewhat literary. I mean, the words you pick matter a little bit, but not a tremendous amount. Basically as long as you’re going to be able to communicate what your intention is to the other people who need to see this document that’s all that really matters.

**Craig:** And that tradition carries through to this day when a screenplay still uses Interior/Exterior. Every scene must give you blueprint information that is not literary information. There is nothing literary about Exterior-House-Day-Rain or whatever you say there. The literary part comes in this other stuff that started to emerge as our craft of filmmaking and writing evolved.

**John:** Now, that evolution, I’m not enough of a student of the history of cinema to tell you exactly when the screenplay became more what we talk about today, but often you’ll hear Casablanca referenced as sort of a turning point between this kind of list of shots to something that is more like a modern screenplay in the sense of like it’s a document that you can read and in reading this document you get a sense of what the actual film is supposed to feel like. So it’s not just the pure blueprint. It’s more sort of like this gives you a sense of where you are, what’s going on. It gives you a preview of what the film is actually going to look and feel like versus just a straightforward list of these are the things you’re seeing.

**Craig:** This is not necessarily historically, yeah, you can’t call me a professor here by any stretch of the imagination. But my understanding when I look at the early stuff is that it was the American movie business that was very blueprint-y and shot list-y. But there is a pretty famous – so you’ve probably seen the silent film A Trip to the Moon.

**John:** Oh yes.

**Craig:** Where the moon gets shot in the eye.

**John:** The Brothers Lumière.

**Craig:** Exactly. George Méliès. If you look at the script for that it actually feels quite modern. There is a literary aspect to it. It’s more descriptive. I think in Europe probably there was a little bit more of a literary aspect to this much earlier than there was in the United States. But eventually by the time you get to films like Casablanca you’re fully in the swing of a literary screenplay that is combining two things at once – a non-literary production plan and art.

**John:** Now, in both the literary form and in the blueprint-y construction plan form the fundamental unit that you come back to is the scene. And so even novels have scenes. That sense of there is a moment in space and time when generally characters are saying something or doing something. It’s one carved out moment of a place and a time where things are happening. That idea of a scene you see in both the really clinical early versions of screenplays and you see them in modern screenplays. That sense of like this is a chunk of time in which these things are happening.

And I want to suss out three different kinds of things we mean by scene. So first is that moment of space and time where characters are doing a thing. That’s scene version A. Scene version B is the writing of that scene and by the writing I mean this is what the characters are saying and doing. It’s where we’re coming into that moment. It’s how we’re coming out of that moment. It is the words we’re using to describe the world in which the characters are happening, the actions they’re taking, basically everything we call scene description. Which you compare to stage plays, which is the other sort of natural version of this, the scene description in stage plays tends to be incredibly minimalist. And it’s much more robust in screenplays because you are trying to really visually describe this world in which the characters are inhabiting. So that’s an important transition.

So that’s version B is really the writing. The third version of a scene I want to distinguish between is all the formatting stuff. All the basically the grammar of screenplays that we use that make them – the conventions that make it easier for people who read a lot of screenplays to understand what’s actually happening. So, the same way that commas and periods become invisible to a reader, people who are used to reading screenplays they don’t even see INT and EXT and DAYS. Your brain just skips over those things and is able to concentrate on the meat of those. So all that other information is there, but it’s invisible to a person who is used to reading them. And being able to understand those conventions and use them properly really does affect how a person perceives a screenplay.

But that formatting, that syntax choices and all that stuff, is really a different thing I would say than the words you’re using to describe stuff. It’s really grammar versus the actual creative act of writing.

**Craig:** Yeah. And that grammar is eventually going to be analyzed by a grammar specialist known as the First AD who along with the production managers are going to be taking those scene headings and asking, OK, are these scene headings accurate to what we think we’re going to be actually doing in terms of the locations we found. How can we group them together? We need to make a timeline, night, day. All those things have huge production implications. None of them have to do specifically with art. So you’re guessing at what you think the ultimate grammar will be. But then you make adjustments once you get into production. And individual first ADs will have different ways of adjusting that grammar.

But you’re right that for most people reading it those things serve weirdly as just paragraph breaks. They’re paragraph breaks which are incredibly helpful. It’s one of the reasons why my formatting preference is to put two lines before a new scene. Because the scene, the EXT, the INT, is serving as a kind of break in the visual flow of the reading. So, I make it one because I agree with you. I think that that’s really what it’s doing. If you took out all the INTs and EXTs and just mentioned those things in action lines the script would become a book and it would be harder to read.

**John:** Yeah. So, in thinking about scenes in three different waves, so there’s the visualization, the imagination of sort of what’s happening with those characters in space and time, that is a thing that a screenwriter does, but it’s also the kind of thing a director does. It’s a thing that other creative people can do. It’s a thing an author does is envision people in a place and a time doing a thing or saying a thing. So, directors often do that scene version A a lot. They’re really imagining sort of what that scene is like. And they’re thinking about it through their own specialties. So they’re imagining it’s like, OK, so I’m envisioning this scene, this moment happening, and then they’re thinking, OK, where would I put the camera, what are the opportunities I have here, how would I use my tool set to make this happen best.

What am I going to tell the cinematographer about what I’m looking at? What am I going to tell the editor about how I would imagine this being paced? What are the costumes? What are all the things that I will need to be able to describe to other people about this moment? So that’s a version of crafting the scene.

The screenwriter has to do all that stuff but then take a second level abstraction thinking, OK, having thought through all that stuff what are the words I’m going to use to describe what’s most important about this moment? Because I could describe everything, but that would be exhausting and it would actually hurt the process of being able to understand what’s important. So, how am I’m going to synthesize that down to the most important things for people to understand if they’re reading this scene about what it’s going to feel like, what’s important, what they need to focus on?

Most of what Craig and I really are talking about on the podcast is this second level, is the B version of that scene which is how do we find the best way to describe and tell the reader what they would be seeing if they were seated in a theater watching this on a screen. How are we going to convey that experience, what it feels like to be watching that moment on the big screen? That’s mostly what we talk about on this podcast.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s a weird kind of psychological game we’re playing with scene work. In the way that Walter Murch wrote this great book about editing, I think it’s called In the Blink of an Eye, where he says we’re kind of cutting in the pattern of people’s blinks. That we blink in normal moments. We’re kind of predictable this way. We have a rhythm. So we’re editing slightly on that basis. Editing feels like music. It’s all about timing. You just know like, there, cut there. That’s the spot.

And it’s kind of the same thing with scenes. What you’re doing is feeling a psychological impact and then there’s link a blink, like a story blink, that just needs to happen. We have reached a point where something should happen and the story should blink and reset. And in a different place or a different time or with a different person, a different perspective. That to me is where the scene begins and ends. Inside of the scene we may have additional slug lines or scene headers because we’re giving that blueprint information, that nonliterary blueprint information to our production friends. But for the purpose of being artistic and literary the scene is the psychological unit. And I don’t know how else to describe it other than something blinks and the story moves.

**John:** Here’s an example. Imagine you could take a real life thing that’s happening. Like, you know, we’re in a room, there are people talking. Imagine we’re at a cocktail party. And so there’s a cocktail party. There’s maybe six people in this room. There are discussions happy. We could invite three screenwriters in and have them see all of this. And then each of them goes off and writes their own version of this scene. There would be three very different scenes because as screenwriters we are choosing to focus on different things.

So even though we all encountered the same moment, we’re writing different scenes because we are choosing to focus on different things and we want to direct the reader’s attention to different moments. And so it’s what snippets of conversations we’re using. It is who we are choosing to focus on. The same way the director is choosing where to put the camera, we are choosing where to put the reader’s attention.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And that is mostly what we talk about on this podcast is how as a writer you make the decisions about what you’re going to emphasize and what you’re going to ignore about a moment that is happening in front of us as an audience.

**Craig:** It’s one of the reasons I stress transitions so much and we have a podcast we’ve done about transitions. I can’t remember offhand the number but we’ll put it in the show notes. Transitions help the audience demarcate the blank – the beginning and end of the scene. Because inside of scenes, once you get away from the page and you’re just watching a television show or a movie, well, there is the montage effect which is essentially – in the old sense of the word, not the “we’re doing a montage” but rather when you show something and then you cut to something else. We understand that time is continuing even though we have moved the camera and cut.

So these things are constantly happening. So how do you know when one thing begins and one thing ends? Since it’s all cut-cut-cut-cut-cut, why does one cut signal the beginning of something? And why does one cut signal the end? And why do others feel like they’re just part of a continuity? Transitions. They let you know when the scene has begun and they let you know when it’s over.

**John:** Absolutely. And that’s a great segue to really this third version of what I’m describing of this scene which is all of the formatting and the standard conventions and grammar that we’ve come to expect out of screenplays. And it’s different from the transition that Craig is talking about because Craig is really talking psychologically what are we trying to do by ending the scene there and getting to the next scene. But that will also have a reflection in literally the words and how we’re formatting that moment to get us from one scene to the next scene.

So, all the stuff that your screenwriting software does for you that is the sort of technical details that makes screenplays look so strange and different. And as I was reading through all these entries for the Three Page Challenge, picking them for the episode we’re recording tomorrow, I was struck by many of our listeners really get it. They know exactly what they’re doing. But some of them are actually still struggling with that third kind of scene writing which is basically understanding how standard screenplay conventions are so helpful in letting the reader understand what’s important in this moment. And so some of them are still struggling with that stuff.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** That’s the kind of thing I think you can actually teach and be taught. And the best way to do it is to read a ton of screenplays and see just how it is so it becomes really natural. So, you read a bunch, you write a bunch to sort of match up to that thing. But you will very quickly get a sense of how screenplays are formatted and how to make that feel effortless. Make it feel like it’s not in your way but is actually helping you.

What’s much harder for us to try to teach you is that second part. That part of how to very naturally convey what a moment feels like. And I want to make sure we keep that distinction clear because being able to type “cut to” and understand how to get down a page is a different thing than being able to really shape what a scene is going to feel like for the reader.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, literally anyone can put something into a screenplay format. It’s never been easier. And saying “cut to” and then “EXT. Such and such” will make something look like a scene has ended and a new scene has begun on the page. But it actually will not translate whatsoever to the actual viewing experience. The only thing that you have in your arsenal to demarcate that for the viewer is creativity. A sense of rhythm. A sense of conclusion. A sense of propulsion. A sense of surprise. Contrast. All the things that we talk about when we think of transitions that have nothing to do with formatting because alas there is no sign flashing in the movie or on your television set that says “new scene has begun.”

So, this is the craft part. And, man, if I were teaching a screenwriting class at USC or UCLA or one of those places I think honestly I would just begin with that. I would just begin with please let’s just talk about the art of letting people know something has begun and something has ended.

**John:** Yeah. Because “cut to” is not when a scene ends. The scene ends when the scene is ending. And so often you feel like, OK, that scene is over, but there’s a couple more lines. When you actually film that you’re going to realize you don’t need this extra. You recognize that that moment is over and therefore the scene should be over. And it’s a hard thing to learn until you’ve sort of gone through it.

**Craig:** That is where the sort of talent and instinct is. Obviously experience helps as you go on, as it does with everything. But there is an innate sense that something has concluded. And even, you know, for those of us who have been doing this for a while and we’re professionals, we will often make a mistake of going a little bit too far. Or not far enough. And then somebody will come and say, “I feel like maybe the scene ended here.” The key is that when somebody says that you can look at it and go, no, it hasn’t and here’s why. Or, yeah, you’re right. That’s where it ended.

But there is a sense.

**John:** So having written the Arlo Finch books one of the great advantages to traditional literary fiction is that if you’re lucky you have a publisher and that publisher provides an editor who is going through that work and doing some of this actual checking with you. Whereas I might send Craig a script and he can say like, oh, I think your scene really ended here, the editor’s job is much more sort of clinical and saying like, OK now, she’s actually cutting some stuff, saying, “No, you’re done here.” And sometimes you’ll get to a line editor or a copy editor who is going through and actually fixing your mistakes.

Screenwriters generally don’t have anybody like that. So we are responsible for doing all of that ourselves. And I do sometimes wonder if sometimes there are people who are really pretty good at that stage A of writing a scene and stage B of writing a scene, but are really kind of terrible at stage three, that stage C of writing a scene and doing the actual making it work right as a screenplay kind of thing would just be so helped out by having someone who could just go through and make it read better, make it read more conventionally on the page so we can really see what the intention is versus being hung up on the strange mistakes they’re making.

**Craig:** You know, I was a guest for a webinar, a Zoominar, a Zoominar–

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Through Princeton University. I did it yesterday. And so they open it up to members of that community, and I don’t know there was 100 people or something like that watching, which is kind of fun to see all the little Zoom faces. And someone asked a question and it essentially went to this which was when you look at how screenplays work as opposed to a novel there are so many other things that you have to be thinking about. In a novel you’re just thinking about what people are saying and doing and thinking. And in a screenplay you’re managing all this other stuff, like time and the camera and the visual space and how it will be structured, and when things move from one place to another. And unfortunately that’s true. If you want to be a good screenwriter you’re going to have to be a little bit of a Swiss Army knife.

It’s very hard to be a good screenwriter but only be good at one thing. Every now and then you’ll hear somebody say, “Oh, well we’re bring them in but they’re doing a character pass.” And I’m like well what the hell does that mean? What’s the difference between character and story? They’re exactly the same thing to me. They’re interwoven. I don’t know how to separate these things. Or sometimes they’ll say, “Well we’re bringing somebody in to do a comedy pass.” OK. So is that just like somebody is going to stop in the middle of the movie and do some stand up? The comedy has to come out of who they are and what the situations are.

We have to kind of do all of it at the same time, which is why it’s so hard.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** It’s really, really hard. There are, I don’t know, 4,000 times as many successful novelists as there are screenwriters.

**John:** That is true. What I will say though about the Princeton question is the things that the student was asking about, like you have to do all these other things, those become really kind of automatic and much simpler with experience. So, you stop having to worry about them so much. The same way like once you really learn how to use a semicolon you can just use a semicolon. And so a lot of the – to try this and the sort of weird things about our modern screenplay format, once you get used to it you sort of stop thinking about it and it becomes less of an obstacle. So I’m never as a screenwriter frustrated by like I don’t know how I’m going to do this in a screenplay format. It just becomes really straightforward after a time.

**Craig:** It does take time. But eventually it’s like touch typing. I don’t think about where the W is. My finger just goes there.

**John:** Absolutely. All right. Let’s answer some listener questions. Y asks, “I’m in the midst of writing a show for a big streamer that is currently scheduled to start shooting early in 2021 and should air at the end of that year.” Congratulations, Y.

**Craig:** Y, good job.

**John:** “The series takes place in present times and is set in a Central European city. It suddenly occurred to me that I might need to write this pandemic into my show. We don’t know when this will end, but when it does finally end there will obviously be a last effect in the world. Can we ignore it? Does every non-period show need to have the coronavirus pandemic as part of its history, its world? I guess you could make a show in the early 2000s and ignore 9/11, right?”

Craig, should everyone rewrite their scripts now?

**Craig:** No. There’s an easy answer. No. You can make a show in the early 2000s and ignore 9/11 because not everything that was going on in the early 2000s was all 9/11-y. I can assure you of that. I was there. I’m pretty sure that Y was there, too. There is a real danger when you have an event like this, and it’s been coming up lately in a couple of things that I’ve been working on or developing, where people will say, “Oh my god, how do we work this in?” And the answer is you don’t because as I put it you can’t beat Dick Wolf. Right? That’s my general rule of thumb. You can’t beat Dick Wolf.

If there’s going to be a pandemic show on the air it will be a Dick Wolf show. It will be NCIS: Pandemic and it will be on. It will be on way before you can get it on. But also it’s very narrow. It’s very topical. Do not underestimate the capability of humans to forget things. That’s why we ended up in this mess in the first place.

Now, hopefully as a world we will respond to this and be smart about it. But not every show or movie needed to be about Vietnam in the early ‘70s. And not every show or movie needed to be about 9/11 in the early 2000s. And certainly not every TV show or movie needs to be about COVID in 2021. People will have died just as people have died through terrible things multiple times in multiple ways. We are not going to want to have everything soaking in COVID, COVID, COVID all the time. It will become oppressive and limiting.

And honestly I don’t think it reflects the reality of existence. If you want to make a drama about COVID or about a pandemic response, or if you want to acknowledge that it occurred obliquely, or have somebody just mention, yes, it was a thing back when COVID was happening. Or, oh yeah, he was a doctor during COVID time, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But I don’t think we need to tie ourselves up in knots just because this has happened in a creative sense. What do you think?

**John:** Not to contradict you, but I do think that this is going to have some repercussions in terms of what normal character behavior looks like in 2021, 2022, and beyond. So, this is a thing I’ve seen on Twitter, but I also feel this in real life. As I watch some things I see characters, like strangers shaking hands, and hugs, and things like that that feel kind of weird now because it’s not a thing that’s actually happening. So, I would tell Y as you’re thinking about this show and thinking about what’s going to happen I think it’s fair to imagine what normal social interactions might look like at the time you’re filming this and be cognizant that some stuff that made total sense in 2019 isn’t going to make total sense in 2021 or 2022. And you’re going to have to be mindful that some of this stuff would happen.

Would people wear masks in the backgrounds of shots? Maybe. You just don’t know what’s going to feel real or feel right. But you probably will have a sense of that more when it comes time to actually make this thing. I’m working on a project right now with a partner and a conversation we’re going to have to be having is that the central couple in this thing we’re writing live in New York City and have been a couple for enough time that they would have lived through this pandemic. And so will that be a factor in their relationship? Like is that a thing they would reference? Is that a thing they would have gone through together the same way that any couple in the 1940s would have had to deal with the Second World War?

And so that is a thing that may factor into this. But I’m certainly not basing everything around that.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** I’ll be curious whether our friend Derek Haas who does the Chicago Fire show and other Chicago shows for Dick Wolf, they’ll have to reference it some degree because they are a show about emergency medical professionals. But how much it influences the seasons they’re writing right now and going forward.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, look, they’re going to have to make their interesting choices. Obviously you’re not going to want your show to feel like it is taking place two years prior or a year prior. Yes, if there’s normal human behavior that is permanently disrupted like handshaking or hugging then, you know, you’ll want to reflect that. But you barely will even have to comment on it because it just won’t happen. You know, you just stop doing it. And if people routinely wear masks in public, which I don’t think is going to happen, but if they do it will just happen. You’ll just do it. You won’t even have to write it in, because you don’t have to write in that people are wearing pants, right? We just know they are.

**John:** Right.

**Craig:** I just think that there is a little bit – the dangerous topicality. You just want to avoid topicality, meaning you don’t want your movie or your television show to feel like it only made sense in 2021 and then every other year later you’re like, wow, look at that thing, it’s all freaked out about the rise of disco. That is a ’79 movie. You know, it’s that kind of thing.

**John:** Agreed. Do you want to take Brendan’s question?

**Craig:** Sure. We’ve got Brendan from Toronto. Not Toronto, but Toronto. “I’ve heard John talk on the show about how you don’t generally write in sequence, instead work on whatever scene appeals to you at the moment. I’m working on my first screenplay on Highland 2, it’s brilliant, and my question is about organizing all of those out of sequence scenes. Do you create a new document for each scene? And then later assemble them? Or is it one master document that you organize into sequence as you go?”

Perfect question for you to answer because I do write in sequence, so how do you handle this, John?

**John:** So I do write each scene as a separate document. And I’ve been doing this since the very start of my career. So back in the day I would handwrite scenes and then type them up later. Or if I was out someplace writing them up I would fax them back to my assistant Rawson Thurber who would type them up and keep each of them in a separate folder that we would share.

So, yes, I tend to keep scenes separate until it’s time to assemble them into one big screenplay. I generally start assembling when I have about 60% of a screenplay done, if I feel like I’m through about 60% of the scenes. Then I’ll assemble it. Back in the old times I would just copy and paste into one big document. Now in Highland 2 there’s a really handy feature where you can literally just drag the scenes in from the desktop and into a master document and hit assemble and it will pull all those scenes in together so that you have one thing nicely assembled for you.

But, no, I do keep them separate. Mostly I want to keep them separate because I don’t want to rewrite things until I actually have enough stuff that’s worth rewriting. So I try to avoid that problem where if I start at the beginning of a screenplay and move forward I’m constantly rewriting those first 10, 20, 30 pages and I have a very hard time moving the ball down the field. But if I’m writing those scenes individually I just get a lot more scenes written. And then I can look at them all together and I have to do a good amount of work rewriting everything to make it feel like one consistent document sometimes, but I get a lot more done if I’ve written those scenes separately, kept them separate until I’m really ready to focus on the script as a whole.

**Craig:** It’s so funny how different we are. I mean, I’m literally the opposite. I do write it all in one document and I do rewrite it as I go. We have our rhythms. This is the, you know, vive la difference.

**John:** And I will say that writing the Arlo Finch books I would still be writing the first book if I had started at the beginning and kept it as one document because I would have just kept rewriting those early chapters. And so keeping each of those chapters separate was absolutely essentially to finishing the books.

**Craig:** That makes sense.

**John:** All right. Penny from Chicago writes, “I’m still in the early stages of becoming a screenwriter, but as I look to the future I worry if I’m cut out for it. I have a neurological disorder that significantly limits my ability to be around people or handle high levels of stress. So my question is does the industry accommodate people with either physical or mental disabilities? Or do those kind of limitations make it impossible for someone to become a screenwriter?”

Craig, what’s your instinct for what Penny should be thinking about?

**Craig:** Well, the industry like any industry has certain accommodations for people who have disabilities and those accommodations unfortunately usually don’t go far beyond what is required by the ADA or any other legislation. And to some extent there are physical or mental disabilities that make certain jobs impossible. If you are paralyzed you’re going to have a hard time getting a job as a stuntman. And if you have a certain kind of neurological disorder that makes for instance organizing words into speech easy then that’s going to be difficult for you as a writer.

Your neurological disorder as you have defined it here is not disqualifying as far as I can tell. There are a lot of screenwriters who are kind of famously reclusive. They don’t have neurological disorders as far as I know. They just don’t want to talk to anybody. And they don’t want to be involved in high stress situations like production. What they do is they write a script and it is emissaried off to a studio by a representative. And hopefully a sale is made and money is returned. And that’s what they do. And then other people who are more interested and capable of face-to-face interactions with people and high stress situations are then brought in to continue the process.

To do that you have to be really good. Your work has to be outstanding because there is a part of the job that is dealing with people and handling stress. So what you’re saying is I can do a good amount of that job. I can’t do all of the job. Is it disqualifying? No. It doesn’t make it impossible. It will make what was already a very difficult job to get and succeed at harder. So that’s just something you have to price in.

**John:** Absolutely. As Craig was saying there are a tremendous number of writers working in this industry who have issues with anxiety and depression. That is totally common. What you’re describing sounds like it goes beyond that and if you’re doing the best you can do it and it feels like interactions with a lot of people and high stress environments are not your thing it’s great that you recognize this now.

And what Craig describes in terms of the social aspect of screenwriting is real. There is having to interface with people and deal with people that is bigger than what it would be for say a novelist or for some other people who have writing jobs that let them not interact with people so much. So doing what Craig describes in terms of being the writer who hands the thing in but is not sort of in the room with people a lot is possible. It’s more difficult to get started that way, but it is possible.

The other thing Penny that I would keep in mind is that sometimes having a writing partner may be a huge help here. Where if you have somebody who was actually pretty good at all the public interaction stuff. That could be a tremendous support structure for you to do some of the social aspects of the screenwriting job. So, I think we’re both telling you don’t stop screenwriting because you’re worried that the career of it is going to be more challenging because of what you see as limitations. It’s great that you’re being mindful about it. But I would say don’t let it preclude your dream of being able to write movies if that is a thing you really want to do.

**Craig:** Yeah. I agree. And I would also say Penny that I’m just going to guess, because you say you’re still in the early stages of becoming a screenwriter, I’m just going to guess that you are on the younger side. It’s not necessarily the case based on what you said, but it seems like a reasonable guess. And if that is the case neurological disorders don’t always sit where they are and never change. They can change over time. And they can improve. They can worsen. They can transform.

So, you’re not always clear about where you’re going to be with something. I mean, mental illness, which is different than neurological disorder, can be more easily transformed or mitigated by medication, but neurological disorders are really interesting because the brain is so plastic. And you never know.

So, I’m hesitant to say, “Yeah, no, don’t do it,” because it is doable. Just I think you’re asking the good questions and sounds like you’re kind of coming into it with open eyes. And you may be surprised. Look, the only way to find out ultimately Penny is to give it a shot.

**John:** Agreed. Craig, do you want to take Jared’s question? Let’s have that be our last one.

**Craig:** Jared asks, “Toward the end of last year I received my first ever offer from a major studio to option a feature screenplay I wrote on spec, which is also included on 2019’s Black List. There were other parties involved in the sale of the script,” I’m already confused, “and after months of waiting to see if all parties’ deal would close and whether or not a worldwide pandemic could thwart this project from ever getting off the ground I just got word that we are finally moving forward and next week we will have what would have been a kickoff meeting, our official kickoff call, with the studios, the producers, and myself.

“Scriptnotes has successfully guided me to this point in my career and I am turning to your wisdom once again.” You got it, Jared. Here we go. “I’m an assistant in the industry but I don’t recall hearing the term kickoff meeting if ever prior to selling my script and I’m feeling a little underprepared. I am ready and excited to hear their notes to commence my rewrite on the script, however there is an intimidating lineup of people scheduled to be on the call and I’m hoping that one or both of you might be able to share with us your experience with kickoff meetings and any advice you may be able to provide to help it go well.”

I just had one of these not a week ago.

**John:** Yeah. So kickoff meetings are great. And first off congratulations Jared. It’s a very exciting time for you. I mean, when the sale happened that was great, but this is going to feel more real because this is a bunch of people in a room or a virtual room talking about how excited they are to be making your movie and what they see as the next steps to make that movie a reality.

So, that really is a kickoff meeting. It’s sort of the first time the whole team is together to talk about their mutual goals in trying to create this project.

**Craig:** Yeah. I never had one in movies, in features. My kickoff meetings have been in television. And we just had one the other day for The Last of Us. And, yes, you can get a lineup of intimidating people. I’ll tell you right now, Jared, you’re getting more of those intimidating people because they got less going on during the pandemic, so they’re getting on these calls because they can. Don’t panic about it.

But just know that while they’re all going to be talking, you have a voice, and a calm reassuring manner is always appreciated by everyone. It costs you nothing to be open right now. Listening is great. Being pleasant and reassuring I think is always your best bet. If they ask a question that you’re not prepared to answer you can say, “That’s a fantastic question and I want to give myself the benefit of time before answering. So I’m going to consider that one. Let me get back to you on that because I want to answer it correctly.” But otherwise just, you know, listen, people love hearing themselves talk.

Now, that’s actually happily not the case with my kickoff call. My kickoff call was awesome. But there are people that are just like blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. And if you have one of those, let them do it.

**John:** What Craig says about being open and positive is absolutely correct. To really be listening. And it’s also fair to ask follow up questions that are phrased in a way that you’re truly trying to understand more information rather than being defensive. So just watch your tone a little bit there. What I think will be helpful about this kickoff call is it gives you a sense of what each person on the call’s vision is for what the movie is going to be. Because they have your screenplay, which they love, which is great, but they may each have slightly different visions of what that movie is going to be. And so it’s a first chance for you to clock what people actually think the movie is going to be in terms of what the budget is like, what the timeline is like, who they might see starring, a director if there’s not a director on board.

It’s a great chance to get a temperature reading for where people are at in terms of this. You’ll also probably hear some conflicting notes or some conflicting ideas. So, this won’t probably be a notes call, but you’ll get a sense of what’s important to different people. And it’s good for you to know that as the writer and to be able to assess how you might be able to implement those things or what things you’re going to need to watch out for down the road.

I would say be mostly excited and happy about this. Certainly publicly be mostly excited and happy about this. But also just be mindful that this is going to be your first chance to really get a sense of what people see for your movie down the road.

**Craig:** Yeah. For now.

**John:** For now.

**Craig:** Right. Because they’ll change their minds later.

**John:** They will.

**Craig:** And if anyone says something that freaks you out, don’t worry about it. You’re still going to do what you want. You know what I mean? They don’t know what they’re talking about until they see what you’ve done. The truth is that the kick off meeting, the real value is for them to find out vaguely when are you turning this in. That’s the most important thing. When are you turning this in?

**John:** Yeah. So, Craig, when are you turning in The Last of Us? That’s what we want to know.

**Craig:** Hmm? What?

**John:** What?

**Craig:** They want to know when you’re turning it in. And they want to know that you’re not a knucklehead. And they want to know that you’re listening to them. The things that they’re saying in any given moment, especially if they’re disagreeing, are not super relevant because everything will be ultimately contextualized within the script itself that you write or rewrite in this case. So, good luck, Jared.

**John:** I’m going to sneak one last question in here which would have gone really well earlier on. Anne asks, “Will handwashing become the new ‘don’t start with your character waking up’ moment?”

**Craig:** God, yeah, there’s going to be a lot of that.

**John:** You’re going to see a lot of handwashing in movies.

**Craig:** Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of handwashing. I’m just saying already don’t do it.

**John:** Don’t do it.

**Craig:** Just don’t do it. There’s a lot of things we don’t show in movies. We don’t show people wiping their butts either. You’re clean. We get it. Don’t do it.

**John:** Yeah. Up to this point if I saw a character washing his or her hands for 20 seconds in a movie it’s like, oh, that person has OCD. Now you see it and it’s like, oh, that’s a perfectly reasonable person.

**Craig:** Right. That’s a responsible human being.

**John:** That’s a responsible American citizen. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is pandemic-related. It is a comic prepared by Nicky Case, Carmelo Troncoso, and Marcel Salathé that talks through how contact tracing actually works. And so contact tracing is this idea that at a certain point in this pandemic people will start going out into the world more and you’ll want people to see, OK, that person bumped into an infected person. How do we get information about who that person interacted with?

And I was really confused about how you would do this, especially how you would do this in a way that wasn’t incredibly oppressive and big brother like. What I liked about this comic is it talks through the ways we’re probably going to be able to do this app wise where you’re actually not spilling a ton of private information to this. It’s just that if two phones are close to each other for a certain period of time they will just exchange secret codes between each other. And then if one of those people does test positive it can notify the other phone that it bumped into saying like, hey, you should go get tested.

So, it’s actually a pretty clever way that this might all work. So it gave me some hope that as we move into further phases of how we’re dealing with this stuff there could be some pretty smart solutions.

**Craig:** Yeah, I think pandemic technology, preventative technology, and mitigating technology is going to be a massive new industry. It just feels obvious to me.

My One Cool Thing is similar to one I did recently, but you know, just helping people out during the quarantine phase here. So I had Online Codenames. And now I’m here to offer you Online Decrypto. Have I – I think I’ve done Decrypto.

**John:** I think it’s been a previous One Cool Thing. It’s such a good game.

**Craig:** It’s a great game. So the online version of it, rather than go into – it’s sort of Codenames in reverse. It’s actually more fun and intense than Codenames. It’s not as casual as Codenames is. Especially if you’re playing with some intense people it can be awesome.

So, as always, please make sure that you purchase the actual game. And for Decrypto I think it’s even more important than it was for Codenames because the actual notepad that they provide in the Decrypto game is excellent and really helps you organize the game play.

There’s a gentleman who wrote a script. Well, I don’t know. Might be a gentlewoman. It was a Redditer so I just immediately went to dude. I don’t know if it’s a man or woman. But they wrote a little program and it’s up on GitHub and it works really well.

If you don’t have your score pad you’re going to have to sort of cobble one together. But like I said you really should be buying these games if you’re going to be playing the online amelioration versions.

**John:** Cool. That is our show for this week. So stick around after the credits and Craig and I will talk about charity stuff. But otherwise Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Out outro this week is by Scott Anderson. If you have an outro – and listen, you have time. You can write us an outro. You can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions like the ones we answered today. But for short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts. We try to get them up about four days after the episode airs. And actually it’s really fun. With the transcripts I’ve been able to update the captions on our YouTube videos as well. So, Craig, you no longer say a bad word in the transcripts.

**Craig:** That was awesome.

**John:** For that. You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments. Craig, thanks for a good discussion.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** Craig, so you brought up charities. Let’s talk about charities and the challenge of running charities, fundraising for charities, actually doing the work of charities.

**Craig:** So, charities in the United States and I think this carries through across the world have to be registered if they’re going to confer the basic benefit of a charity to a donor, which is tax deductions. So, if you make a donation to a charity and it’s a proper registered charity with the appropriate tax service then you get to discount that amount of money from your taxable income.

In the United States most of your major charities will fall under something called a 501(c)(3). That’s the ridiculous tax code number that addresses this thing. But that means that a charity is a real company. It needs to have a board of directors. It needs to have bylaws and officers and accountants and accounting and all these things. And, of course, charities employ people. People are fundraising. People are disturbing the money. As you guys found out collecting a bunch of money might be easy initially. Dispersing it and handling the requests is hard.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And you are entrusted with enormous amount of cash. You need to make sure that the people that are working for you are trustworthy and that there are systems in place to prevent embezzlement and misappropriation. It costs money to run a charity.

Now, what happened sort of, I don’t know, seemed like it started happening in the ‘90s was a kind of reasonable concern about charity overhead. If I give my money to an organization and then I hear that they spend 30% of that on their overhead, which sounds like a bunch of crap stuff. Like, blech, lunches? Well, OK, you’re asking me for $10,000 and you’re going to spend $3,000 of it on stuff that isn’t helping poor children? No. I don’t want to do that.

And then another charity comes along and says, “No, we don’t do that. We’ve gotten our overhead down to 2%.” Well, you get my money. But here’s my question to you, John August. Two charities, both are going to be giving money to feed hungry children. One charity raises $1 million and they have a 1% overhead. So they have to remove $10,000. They give $990,000 to hungry children.

The other charity raises $10 million. They have a 10% overhead. They get to give $9 million to hungry children. Which charity is more effective?

**John:** Yeah. So the answer is both the second one and the answer is also you can’t necessarily know. Because effectiveness is really a measure of how much have they achieved of their goals. And their goals might be very different based on the community they’re trying to serve, what their actual objective is.

So, yes, the one with higher overhead probably is raising more money and putting more money out there in the field. But effectiveness really comes down to is the charity well run. Is it actually efficient at doing what it’s supposed to be doing? Is it putting the money that it has raised to the best use of the people they’re trying to serve or the animals it’s trying to serve or whatever organization it’s trying to serve? Is it really doing the thing it’s meant to be doing? And that you sometimes can’t know just on a numbers level.

**Craig:** That’s right. And it’s really hard to tell what the impact of overhead is on an organization. Because there are organizations where people can just get paid too much. Money can be wasted. There are organizations that are run poorly and they need to be held accountable. That’s in theory what a good board of directors would do.

On the other hand what we do know about charities is that getting really good people to work for that charity is hard. There are people who are excellent at their jobs. Having been on the boards of a couple of charities I have seen the difference a really good staff person makes as opposed to a not really good staff person. It’s transformational.

So, how do you get that person? You have to pay them.

**John:** You have to pay that person.

**Craig:** And like anyone else, you’re in a competitive employment marketplace and there are other charities that might want them, too. You need to compensate them. And in compensating them what you’re saying is we actually will be a better organization. We will raise more and we will distribute more and we will achieve more.

So, one of the things that has kind of been evolving in the charity world over the last 10 or 15 years is a notion that rather than looking at overhead percentage you try as best you can to, A, look at independent metrics of success as you’re suggesting. And also increasing the size of the pie. It’s not so much about how big of the pie is sliced for overhead but rather what is the slice of the pie. Or as George W. Bush famously said, “Make the pie higher.” [laughs]

**John:** I like a good high pie. I don’t know about you.

**Craig:** I mean, we used to think that he was a problem. Anyway. So because I have interfaced with people who work in charity and work for 501(c)(3)s, and my wife was working for nonprofits for quite some time, you begin to appreciate how dangerous the kind of squeeze became. Because it was hurting good people who were trying to do good things. And what was happening was a brain drain, a talent loss. When you ask, well, I can run your organization for $100,000 a year and have people tell me I’m paid too much, or I can just go across the street and work for private interest and get paid $700,000 and everyone tells me I’m successful and wonderful.”

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Hmm. So these are the things that charities have to kind of balance. But if you are ever considering how to donate try to avoid the sites that are just like “overhead is everything.” It’s not.

**John:** Yeah. I will look at sort of how much money an organization brings in is designed to actually just continue fundraising. Because if an organization seems to mostly exist to fundraise that’s probably not going to be a very good use of money. So, if most of the money I’m giving them is going to go back into them sending me glossy magazines then that’s not an organization I necessarily want to be supporting as much. I always look for sort of what are they literally trying to – what are they doing – what did they do this last year? What did they do the year before? What is the actual effect of donations happening?

So a charity I work with is called FOMO. I’ll put a link in the show notes for that. It’s Friends of Mulanje Orphans. This is the orphan group that I visited in Southern Africa ten years ago. And I’ve been working with them since then. So they are a British charity and so when I give them money I can’t get a tax write-off because they’re a British charity. And trying to setup the US arm of that was so complicated that I ended up sort of giving up on that. But I can see exactly what they’re doing because they’re literally building buildings and schools for these kids. And so money I give directly becomes buildings there which is fantastic. And it’s great to be able to see what they’re able to do.

And when a charity is run long enough that the kids who grew up through it are now actually running it is terrific. So, that’s a sustainability that feels really important for me as I’m looking at some charities.

And then there’s just ad hoc stuff like what we did for Support our Supporting Staffs which was sort of a crisis need. But could clearly not become the sustainable solution because a bunch of volunteers like me going through Google spreadsheets to sort of figure out how to send out checks was not going to be sustainable.

**Craig:** Yeah. Precisely. Fundraising is a tricky one because it is the lifeblood of a charity. That is weirdly their business. Like those are the people that are paying and then the product is the charity that is delivered. And so development is an enormously important thing for any charity to do, because if the money doesn’t come in you can’t achieve your goals in any way. It’s a tricky thing because having been involved there are times when what will happen is you’ll say, you know what, let’s not send the glossy magazine out. We can save $40,000 and not send the glossy magazine. And you make that decision and then you get a phone call from a very irate person that donates a million dollars a year saying, “Where is my glossy magazine.” Get the glossy magazine back out because the numbers are the numbers. Math is math.

And this is why running charities is really hard. And all I can say is that try and find a charity that is doing the work that you want to see done and doing it effectively and make that your focus. Don’t make the focus how much the person running it gets paid or anything else. Just say are they getting the job done well and effectively and impressively or not. That’s kind of the way I analyze these things.

**John:** I’m also really mindful of mission creep which is where a charity is set up ostensibly to do one thing but then you look at them five years, 10 years down the road and you’re like, wait, that’s not at all what you’re supposed to be doing. And I’m not going to name the organization because I don’t want to blow up my replies, but there’s a big Los Angeles charity–

**Craig:** I know the one you’re talking about.

**John:** Yes. And so you’ll see billboards for it everywhere and it’s like, wait, that’s actually not what you’re about at all. Then when you actually look at what they’re doing it’s mostly about real estate suddenly. And it’s like, wait, that does not feel very close to the healthcare thing that you started off your mission doing. That is a great frustration of mine and that’s why there are charities who by name I would absolutely support but when you actually look at what they’re doing, oh my. No. I am not eager to support them.

**Craig:** Yeah. There is a sociological phenomenon called Crusaderism and crusading always – well not always – but typically starts with a kind of purity of purpose. Something tragic happens. A crusade is formed to combat it and fix it. And what happens is the crusaders become comfortable with crusading. If the problem is solved the crusade must continue, so what else? What else can we do? Because we don’t want to just shut down. They get used to it.

And I agree with you. Now, it’s possible that there are organizations that overtime you just look at and say, well, your name doesn’t really reflect what you do, but what you do is fantastic. OK, that’s different. Because a name is a name. But, yes, that is something to be aware of. And there are people who become incredibly comfortable with just donating to the same thing.

Shake your charity up a little bit. You don’t need to be in a rut and just keep pumping it into one thing. Look around. Diversify your portfolio a little bit as you seek to help people around you.

**John:** Yeah. So an example of a charity that I am involved with that its mission did change but they actually changed the name of their organization to reflect their mission had changed. So it’s now called Family Equality. But when it started it was basically a support group for gay and lesbian parents and trying to make sure that they had the emotional and community support they needed as gay parents. AS marriage equality became the law of the land some of their advocacy stopped making as much sense because like once you had marriage equality a lot of the other family equality stuff sort of came in with that. So they could instead just focus on what are the aspects of state and federal law that is not treating same sex couples the same when it comes to their parents. And so they changed the whole name of the organization to Family Equality to reflect like this is what we’re actually doing now and that felt like a good honest pivot to sort of where stuff needs to be at this moment.

**Craig:** Smart.

**John:** Because it is recognizing that they couldn’t just keep fighting the last fight. And I would say that some of the organizations that were designed for same sex rights back before marriage equality have really struggled to figure out what their place is in this world once marriage equality became the law in the US.

**Craig:** It happens. I mean, sometimes a charity is a victim of its own success, particularly if the charity is kind of dealing with a binary cause. We are trying to switch something from off to on. Or from on to off. If it happens, well, what now? And you can see this obviously with certain disease-based charities. If you solve a particular disease then the charity that was dedicated to curing that disease becomes somewhat superfluous. What happens to that organization? To the people who work for it who rely on it for their livelihoods and so on and so forth?

Interesting questions and organizations have to face those challenges. Sounds like Family Equality did exactly the right thing which was just say we’re not going to pretend that this is still a problem. We’re not going to fear monger you and tell you that it will go away next year. We’re going to try and do something different but equally as important to the same kind of families we were advocating for before.

**John:** Agreed. Craig, thanks for a good discussion.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

**John:** Bye.

Links:

* [Scriptnotes Set Up](https://johnaugust.com/2013/how-we-record-scriptnotes)
* [John’s Writing Set Up](https://johnaugust.com/2016/my-writing-setup-2016)
* [Check out our Livestream Episodes](https://www.youtube.com/user/johnaugust)
* [No Writing Left Behind, Just Say No](https://www.wga.org/news-events/news/connect/when-it-comes-to-writing-left-behind-just-say-no)
* [State Copyright Laws Blackbeard](https://www.npr.org/2020/03/24/820381016/in-blackbeard-pirate-ship-case-supreme-court-scuttles-copyright-claims)
* [Scriptnotes, Ep 89: Writing Effective Transitions](https://johnaugust.com/2013/writing-effective-transitions)
* Sign up for Scriptnotes Premium [here](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/).
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Scott Anderson ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/446standard.mp3).

Scriptnotes, Ep 443: What We’re Up To, Transcript

March 30, 2020 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/what-were-up-to)

**Craig Mazin:** Hi folks. All of you I presume are listening at home, which means that children are about. Unfortunately for them this episode does contain some strong language, so put in those ear buds, put in those headphones. Keep those children safe.

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 443 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show we’re going to be talking about working from home, a subject Craig and I know very well. We’ll talk about what works for us and what might work for you if you find yourself in this situation. Then we’ll be hearing from some of our favorite guests about what they’ve been up to during this period of uncertainty. Not surprisingly they’ve had a range of experiences and some surprises.

And in our bonus segment for Premium members we’re going to talk about math. What we remember from school and what we actually use.

**Craig:** Woo-hoo!

**John:** Woo-hoo! Craig, this is not any different from our normal recording situation. We are usually on Skype. We are back on Skype. It’s just nothing is different.

**Craig:** Yeah. You and I have been social distancing from each other since the very beginning. And so I’m at home, so the microphone is not quite as professional but hopefully is holding up OK. And, I mean, technically my office is safe because I’ve sent my employees home. Bo is working from home and Jack is working from home. But I don’t think technically I’m supposed to be going there now because we have this full shutdown other than essential workers and people that are staffing stores with essential supplies.

**John:** Exactly. So, Megana is also home. She’s going to be getting this episode together. Matthew is cutting this at home as he usually does. So it’s all going to work out. It’s just some differences and changes along the edges. But this is not unusual for us and we can share our experiences and some tips for folks at home.

But first and most importantly we should talk about what did happen this past week, because actually a bunch of stuff did go down. Last Saturday I was texting with you, Craig, about this Go Fund Me that Liz Alper was setting up. Liz Alper is the woman behind #PayUpHollywood and that whole movement.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** So as we started talking about assistant stuff she started talking about assistant stuff. We did a town hall together. She was trying to raise $100,000 for assistants, readers, and other support staff laid off because of COVID-19. I proposed to you that maybe you and I could each agree to match the first $25,000 that were raised. So together we raised $50,000. Hopefully we could get the rest of the industry to kick in $50,000. And it went really well.

**Craig:** It did. So we reached out to all of our friends that we thought that were of the sorts of means that could make significant contributions. And pretty much they all came through and did, which was amazing. Currently we’re looking at over a half a million dollars that we raised in basically a week to distribute to the assistants and I think readers and support staff as you said who have been laid off.

Now, that’s amazing. And congrats to us and everything. But there is a message I’d like to send out to the world through our podcast which is simply this. You and I and our friends are after all employees in Hollywood. And the companies that employ us have enormous resources, billions of dollars of resources. Now I’m not suggesting that they can deplete all of their money. I don’t really know how money works. I’m going to be totally honest. They can’t just dump it all out there. But it does seem to me that they could be doing more. And at the very least they could be contributing to funds like this one, or creating their own for that matter.

So I am calling upon Warner Bros and Universal and Paramount and Sony and Disney/Fox and all their associated businesses to put some money toward this and if you can’t keep people on the payroll at least help support them during this time, because this is going to go on for a while. And you’re going to want those people back when it’s over.

**John:** Yeah. So when Craig says put some money towards this we don’t mean towards this Go Fund Me. No, we mean actually continuing to pay the people who had been working for you. And when at all possible to not lay them off. So, in this Go Fund Me it was really structured around those workers in Hollywood who are not kind of full time employees. Those people who are like between jobs, those folks who were hired on to work on a production and then production just went away because everything got closed down. Or folks who had been laid off.

And so this was really targeting the most vulnerable population and trying to get some money into their hands as quickly as possible. So, again, support staff, PAs, folks who are really vulnerable for this. But Craig and me, our job is to remind people listening to this podcast who do employ others, find a way to keep them employed. Find a way to keep them protected because we will need these people when we come out of this situation.

**Craig:** Absolutely. And the fact of the matter is for a lot of folks there is a way to actually keep these people working, like I’m keeping my staff working. Now, it’s a little easier for folks like you and me, John, because we’re writers. And we can do a lot of our work without lots of people around us. It’s a little more difficult when you’re carrying a lot of folks that are specifically connected to something that cannot happen, that cannot continue to go on. But do your best. Argue with your employers to hold as many of those folks on the payroll as possible for as long as possible.

This business has made a lot of money off of a lot of people. And it would be nice in a moment like this if they could give some back. Just give some back. That would be really good for a moment if maybe profit wasn’t the most important thing. Just give a little bit back.

**John:** Absolutely. One of the things I want to stress as well is that over the past few years we’ve been trying to make more and more efforts on equity and inclusion, making sure that we have people working in this business who better represent the wholeness of America. And that includes people who don’t have the economic background to be able to weather this storm without outside help.

As we do these surveys for the situation with assistants before all this started everyone was living paycheck to paycheck. So these people are the most vulnerable. If we don’t step in right now and tide them over through the storm a bunch of them are going to move back to wherever they came from. They’re going to leave. And we’re going to lose out on a generation of talent who should be here. The people who are going to be winning Oscars in 2035, well right now they are PAs. So the next Shonda Rhimes, she is probably a script coordinator on some show who might have to move back to Texas. We need to make sure that we are protecting them at this time.

**Craig:** And when this is all over I think there’s going to be a long discussion, a very long discussion, about why people have been living paycheck to paycheck in a business that generates so much money and has generated so much money so consistently for so long. And I’d like to point out that while a ton of other businesses and industries in our nation are shut down, you can still rent or buy just about every single movie or television show that has ever been made.

**John:** Yep.

**Craig:** It doesn’t stop. Right? The production has stopped momentarily, but as someone once said to me, “If you want to make money in Hollywood have a big library of stuff and don’t make new stuff.” So it’s all money coming in now and very little going out. So it would be really great if these corporations rose to this moment and did something good for people. It would be great.

**John:** Now I would say what we were able to do this last week was the best I’ve felt since this whole thing began. And so as we were able to hit those numbers and we saw over a thousand donors chip in money on this campaign it was phenomenal and it was the best I’ve felt throughout this whole experience.

The next steps for this is getting the money out the door. So we’ve hired on a production accountant to sort of go through and make sure we’re rigorous in sort of how we’re tracking the money that comes in, the money that goes out. But the goal is to start getting money out the door by the time this episode drops so people can actually know that they’ll be able to make their rent or get through this next week or two of troubles.

So, that’s the goal. I want to thank everybody who chipped in. It was sort of weird that we couldn’t – we didn’t have time to get an episode out to sort of encourage people to do the Go Fund Me. So, enough people followed us on Twitter and other places, so thank you to all our listeners who chipped in. It was a good thing.

**Craig:** And of course a huge thank you to all of the writers that we know who stepped up and made these very significant contributions. And we should probably say all of their names, but I don’t have the list in front of me, do I?

**John:** I don’t have the list in front of me, either. And there’s a few more who might still be coming in. So, maybe next week we’ll do it.

**Craig:** Next week we will do the honor roll. For sure.

**John:** Great. All right. We still have some trappings of a normal show. So this will be the follow up segment. Mitch from Marvel, Tennessee wrote in, “In the recent How to Listen episode I heard John say Appalachian. This is certainly an acceptable pronunciation but I wanted to point out for your possible future usage that most who live in this region tend to pronounce it Appal-ah-chian. There are those around here who will argue the other way is correct and they’re not flat out wrong, but I moved to East Tennessee 30 years ago and have noticed over the years that most people I know who are native Appal-ah-chians pronounce it the latter way. That’s also what you’ll hear on local TV news outlets who pronounce it.”

**Craig:** That is true.

**John:** So, Appal-ah-chian.

**Craig:** Appal-ah-chia. Appal-ah-chian. Yeah. That’s how they do it.

**John:** Great. And so that’s kind of the distinction that is really hard to make in a script. You generally wouldn’t make it in the script. And so it got me thinking back to when we were doing Big Fish and Big Fish is set in Alabama. The past elements of it are sort of a storybook Alabama. And we had to make decisions about how all these actors, most of the British actors, what accent we were going to do. And so we brought in a dialect coach who was working with each of them. And I had to work with her about sort of are we pronouncing Rs. Like did Edward Bloom go fight in a wah or in a war? And the rhotic R was important. So we had to sort of get everyone on the same page.

Generally in the script you won’t do that. You might get a sense of like the rhythm of speech, but you won’t get down to the details of Appalachian versus Appal-ah-chian. So, it would generally be a dialect coach or someone else who is working with production in preproduction to figure out exactly what the accent is going to be for everyone who is speaking.

**Craig:** Yeah. Really the only time I draw any attention to specific pronunciation is if it’s part of the moment. That it’s important for people to know that the character – for instance it’s very common for people to mispronounce the word Nevada. They will say Ne-vah-da. But in Nevada, Nevadans call it Nevada. They don’t like it when you call it Ne-vah-da. OK.

So if somebody is going to say Ne-vah-da that way you might have to say they pronounce Ne-vah-da as opposed to the way – and everybody stares. That kind of thing.

**John:** Exactly. So if it is an important story point then you do call it out in the script. Generally you won’t call it out in the script. Those kind of regional pronunciation differences.

**Craig:** Exactly.

**John:** Cool. All right, now to our marquee topic – working from home. Something I’ve been doing for 20 years or so. In thinking about this segment an article I read this last week actually laid out a lot of really good points. So I’m going to start with this article by Alice Goldfuss about working from home.

Some of the points she makes are to recreate your rhythm, to get dressed, to separate your desk from your sleeping space. To keep your stuff tidy. To think about social spaces. Think about not just working from home but the degree to which when you are working in an office there’s a social component there, so not to neglect that social component. And most importantly to put some boundaries on things. Recognize a time when you stop working and actually to start living your life because that can be one of the toughest things, especially if you’re dealing with people overseas is that there’s no boundary between being at work and being at home.

**Craig:** Yeah. And, listen, it is hard. When I first started working at home I think I was, yeah, 23 years ago maybe. And there is an adjustment period. And one of the things about working from home that’s tricky if you haven’t it before is you don’t quite know if you’re doing it well. Meaning, am I working too much? Am I working not enough? There’s a little bit of a sense that you had when you were first off to college and suddenly there were no report cards and no parents over your shoulder. Am I studying enough? Too much?

There’s going to be an adjustment period. Give yourself a little bit of a break because you’re not going to know for a while how you’re doing.

**John:** Absolutely. And I think when I first started working at home it was just me in my studio apartment. And I could – as a writer I could write all night. I could sleep all day. That was sort of the life I was in. But most people’s jobs now do involve some interaction with people. And so you’re going to have to find something approaching a work day to make, OK, this is the time at which I can actually get this people to email me back or sort of get word back on sort of the projects I’m working on. That becomes an aspect that wasn’t true when it was just me as bachelor guy writing.

I think my working at home also changed a lot when I moved in with Mike, when we had a kid. Things got much more routinized because I couldn’t stay up all night suddenly because then I couldn’t actually be a responsible father. So, you find yourself getting into a rhythm that actually makes sense for your current life situation. And given the pandemic everyone’s current life situation is just understandably confusing.

**Craig:** Yeah. And by the way I don’t know about you, I’m scared to ask you this question. But I don’t have necessarily any more or less time per day to do the writing that I’m supposed to do. These last couple of weeks, it’s been hard. Really hard. I mean, I’ve done work. I’ve written. I’ve moved the ball forward. I’m not like falling terribly behind or anything. But it seems so much harder. And I wonder if that’s true for you. And then I also wonder by extension if it’s true for everybody, no matter what their job is, because we’re all upset.

**John:** Yeah. We’re going to hear from a bunch of our previous guests and I think that’s a common refrain. It’s been difficult to sort of get the work done. Even though the format of the work changes, the actual getting writing done has been more difficult. I fall back on my writing sprints a lot, which is just I’m blocking out an hour of time in chunks and I’m only going to write during that time. And doing that has gotten me back into a place where I can head down focus on the thing I’m writing. But the chaos of every day has been a big factor.

Having my daughter home from school is a big factor. So it feels like we’re on a spring break or a summer vacation, but there’s no sort of relaxation/enjoyment quality to it all. It’s all just a big stirred up.

**Craig:** Yeah. And this is also probably a particularly difficult time for extroverts. There are people who need – I know this is going to sound weird, but just hear me out, John. There are people that need to be around people. Like they need it. [laughs]

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And I feel bad for them.

**John:** Absolutely. And you know if you’ve worked in an office, you know who those people are. They’re the people who will come over and sort of linger by your desk. And those people who linger by your desk that is just sort of how they’re wired. And so how they linger by your desk if they can’t do that? And so those people probably need to recognize that in themselves and plan to take some walks. Even though you can’t actually hang out with – you should maintain that six-feet distance between people, you need to see some other people. You need to sense you’re in the world or you feel like just too floaty and disconnected. That’s definitely something I’ve been noticing.

I mean, I haven’t left the house in a week and there is a weird unreality that does set in. I remember I was reading this new D&D book that I got which is great. And I had this strange moment where I realized, wait, am I actually married with a kid and living in a pandemic? Or am I some other person? And just for a moment it did all sort of – this seems very unlikely. It seems strange that this is who I am and this is where I am. So, yes, acknowledging that this is a strange moment is important. And yet even within this strange moment there are some basic principles we can remind you of.

So, when I was living in France for the year we moved into this apartment and it was so hot. It was like 100 degrees. I was writing the first Arlo Finch which is all a winter book. And we didn’t have our desks. We didn’t have any place. But I knew I needed to get those hours of writing in. So what I would do is I would put on my headphones, I would play this ambient track from YouTube of like winter storm sounds. And I would just sit there and listen and I would sort of psychologically make myself cold. And then I could just write.

And there was something really calming about just being able to do the work. And so I would say that even though this is a stressful time and you should forgive yourself if it’s hard to get work done, I would say do try to do some work because you may find rather than it being frustrating it’s actually sort of calming to get back into a place where you can focus on something that is not the outside world.

**Craig:** Yeah. That’s a good idea. We are going to need to kind of astral project a little bit.

Yeah, especially if you live in a neighborhood where it’s going to be tough. I happen to live in the relative sticks of Los Angeles County. So, you know, I took the dog for a walk today. I saw some people from a distance. But, you know, mostly I could just be alone and not worry about being on top of people. That’s not going to be true if you’re in a really tight urban environment. So, yeah, you’re just going to have to astral project.

**John:** So, one thing that’s been different in this experience is Zoom. So this was my first week using Zoom. I had two directors meetings and a meeting on a different project. And it all actually went really well. And it made me realize that when this is all over I think there’s a bunch of meetings that I’m going to ask to take place online versus going in person. Because if I never have to go to a five o’clock meeting on the west side again, hooray. Because some of what I was willing to put up with in terms of getting face time in a room with people just it wasn’t worth it. And these two directors meetings I had on Zoom, they were productive. And we got through stuff. And these people were on different continents and it was a pretty good experience.

So, I don’t want to say there’s any silver linings to what we’re going through, but it was a good lesson that you can adapt and sometimes in adapting you actually get to some smarter choices.

**Craig:** I mean, you know I love me some HBO. But they’re in Santa Monica and I’m near Pasadena. So five o’clock isn’t – forget five o’clock. I can’t even go there if it’s two o’clock. So, yeah, I mean, I think I’m going to be requesting Zooms frequently. It works really well.

The first kind of group video chat I had when this all started was on Google Hangout. Not a fan. Got to be honest.

**John:** It’s not as good.

**Craig:** No. The Zoom people have figured something out. I don’t know what it is, but hats off to them. So, anyway, point being, yeah, I’m with you. I don’t want to drive to the west side ever again either.

**John:** I will tell honestly there was a project that I was considering doing with a company that was on the west side. And it was going to be a TV thing that I knew was going to be a ton of meetings. And I did not go with that company because it was on the west side. I liked the people involved, but I just knew that I would need to be at that office and, no. My life is worth more. And the number of hours that I’d spend in the car getting there are hours I could spend writing or doing other stuff. So, yes. The more Zoom the better. I will take it.

**Craig:** More Zoom the better.

**John:** So, Craig, other tips for people in terms of working at home? Things you think might be helpful.

**Craig:** Sure. So, a few things that are going to come up that you probably weren’t expecting. Well one is a bit specific to the time we’re in now. Suddenly I’m getting a lot of calls from people that are just calling to say, “Hey, how you doing?” Because they want to talk. Because they are probably people that like talking to people. And I’m, you know, I’m fine with that, but I’m not really that person. And more importantly some people may not understand that you’re still at work.

There are some people who cannot work right now. They are essentially on a forced furlough. And so they’re not working. And they may make the mistake of presuming that you’re not working. So, you’re just going to have to figure out how to boundary that off. Maybe just not answer the phone for a while. Like John said, carve out some time. And I think it’s important for you to – if you can – get some exercise. If you can get outside.

I mean, even here in California where we’re on essentially a statewide lockdown, exercise is allowable. Walking the dog is allowable. You’ve just got to practice Safe Six. Do you like that? Safe Six. I didn’t come up with that.

**John:** I like Safe Six a lot.

**Craig:** Yeah. That was Jeanine Tesori. Tony award winning Jeanine Tesori was the first person that used that near my ear. And I was like, ooh, I’m using that. I’m going to steal it.

I do think that if you can support local businesses, ordering in is a nice thing to do. It’s not something you have to do for every meal. You’re not obligated to hold up an industry at the expense of your own waistline. But ordering in is fine. Food safety wise, from everything I’ve read, food does not appear to be a major vector of COVID-19. That said, to be on the safe side when we order in we’re sticking to food that has been cooked. And we’re taking it out of the containers and doing some reheating which should be enough to kill any microbes.

If you have time on your hands and you’re at home, take a look at that room that’s got a lot of clutter in it. Get to work.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** This is a good chance for some COVID cleaning.

**John:** My daughter’s spring break is not this week but next week. And we are looking forward to – there’s shelves in our library which we’ve never actually dusted the shelves. So it’s taking all the books off and actually dusting those shelves. Getting to the places that you never actually get to. This feels like a good time.

We pulled all of the various Arlo Finches in different languages off, and so they’re all on the office table now. And we will find something to do with all these Arlo Finches because I don’t need four copies of the second book in Swedish. One will be plenty.

**Craig:** I think so. I think you should be OK with one. And for people who are fortunate enough to be able to employ housecleaners, well they’re not coming to you right now. So, this is a chance for you to dig in and use a little elbow grease. For everybody else, maybe just pick a project. Even if it’s just once a week pick a project, do a little tidying.

**John:** On the housekeeper front is that if you have somebody who normally cleans your house and you don’t want them coming to your house to clean your house, they shouldn’t. For your safety and for their safety. Pay them anyway.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** Find a way to pay them through this time. Because they rely on the money that you’re giving them to make a living. So, help them make their living. Pay them. And then what we did is we just made a schedule of like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, this is the thing we clean on those days. So Thursday is bathrooms day. It sucks. But it’s just one day. And it’s 30 minutes and we’re done. So, making yourself a cleaning schedule feels very Little House on the Prairie, but it does also provide some structure. Because that’s one of the most frustrating things about being home when you’re not expecting to be home is that there is just no structure.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And every day feels like a Sunday.

**Craig:** That’s right. So without a doubt if you can continue to pay – if you can afford a housekeeper I’m guessing you can afford to keep paying your housekeeper for a bit. There are quite a few people who pay their housekeepers under the table as it is. I don’t. My housekeepers are actually on a salary with the payroll service that I use. Either way, if you can – if you can – please do keep paying them. And it was really important for us to say, before the lockdown happened where it wasn’t even a possibility for them to come by, to say to them you don’t need to come. If you have even the slightest whiff of a bad feeling you don’t need to come because you have a job still. You’re getting paid.

And that leads me into my final thing. Which is give. While we are locked down and you’re working from home and we’re all inside our homes, try and give. That doesn’t necessarily mean money. If you have means and you can give money that would be great. If you have items that you can donate that would be great. For instance, I have a friend who knows someone who works in the prop business. And he happened to have boxes of masks. Hospital masks. Because, you know, if you’re doing a hospital show you need them. He donated them all. Dug them up out of storage. Donated them all to a hospital.

If you can give somebody one-on-one attention. If you can offer somebody an ear to cry into. If you can teach somebody something online. If all you do is just give thanks to somebody that would be great.

But please think about going outwards with the technology that we have that allows you to do it. It’s going to make you feel better. I guarantee it.

**John:** Absolutely. My mom is in a senior living place in Boulder. And one of the things they’re starting to do is have the residents call all the other residents every day just to check in and see how they’re doing and have those conversations. Because isolation is a really necessary thing for this pandemic that we’re in, but it’s a really unhealthy thing overall for people and their mental health and their physical health. So anything you can do to keep people from feeling so isolated and so lonely during this time will pay off dividends. And you will feel better for having done it.

**Craig:** 100%.

**John:** Great. Let’s take a listen to what some of our previous guests are up to this week. And so I emailed out to a bunch of our previous guests and asked if they would record a minute or two about what they’ve been doing since this all went down. I was not surprised that they had a whole range of experiences and that they were really generous sharing what they’re feeling and what they think our listeners can take from what they’re encountering out there in the world.

So, this is going to be an usual segment because we’re not going to be coming in between all these people speaking. I’m going to start off with Emily Zulauf who joined us for our live show in Seattle. And we’ll just let them introduce themselves as we go through this. Also I should clarify that a lot of these were recorded on Wednesday before the official lockdown sort of happened in Los Angeles. So, if you hear people talk about going from house to house that’s not really happening right now. So, here we’ll start with Emily Zulauf.

**Emily Zulauf:** Hi John. Hi Craig. I hope you guys are well. I am…not sure where to start when, John when I got your email asking for an update on how we’re all faring in this. So I live in Seattle. [laughs] That probably doesn’t need a lot more explanation. I work a block from the Kirkland border. So I think we have been in triage mode a little bit longer than everybody else.

My office has been pseudo closed now for a couple weeks. My daughter’s school was canceled. We are on our second week of that. It’s surreal. It’s completely surreal here. I think I’m feeling the same level of helplessness that a lot of people are feeling right now. Wanting to help and literally physically not being able to go out there and help is paralyzing and scary and I find myself reaching out to my friends and trying to sort of feeling this sort of ache to connect with people and just make sure that people I love are OK. And feeling scared for all of us and feeling also so connected to everyone in the same breath. So isolated and so connected. And I want to hug everyone. [laughs] Although hugs are not something that we do anymore.

But I am thinking about you guys. I’m thinking about all of my friends. And just, you know, sending love and wanting to connect with everyone and tell everyone that I love them and that somehow this is going to – this is going to work out. And that I’m here for anything that they need.

**Mike Birbiglia:** Hey, it’s Mike Birbiglia. Friend of Scriptnotes. Writer. Comedian. I just want to say hey. I’m holed up in Brooklyn with my wife and daughter. And on the screenwriting front I’m not doing much because the screenplay I was writing I’m not kidding or exaggerating is about a global pandemic. [laughs] It’s a comedy about a comedy pandemic. That’s the backdrop for the whole plot. And so we have to sort of see how things go before I figure out how the movie makes sense and in the new normal. What is the new normal and how does the movie differ from that?

And so what I’m doing on a comedy front is I’m trying to figure out who is in need in the comedy space. And so on my Instagram, which is @birbigs, I’m doing live livestreams where me and another comedian – this week it was Roy Wood Jr. and John Mulaney, Gary Gulman, Jacqueline Novak, and others. Next week Nicky Glazer and a bunch of other comics. And I do a chat where we pitch new jokes to each other. And then give feedback in real time. And then people watch the livestream and then can contribute to a site called tipyourwaitstaff.com.

And it’s a way to help comedy club wait staff that is currently not working because all the clubs are shut down across America. Because the restaurant and bar industry is obviously really struggling. So, I’m just trying to sort of be positive and be creative but also look around for who needs help right now.

That’s it for me. Continue doing this great, great podcast. Love you guys.

**Megana Rao:** Hey John and Craig and our Scriptnotes friends. This is Megana Rao, Scriptnotes producer. I’m currently socially distancing or safer at home in Los Angeles. And I guess a lot of us feel a bit like the “everything is fine” dog in that meme where the room is on fire. I’ve been working from home, sitting at my dining table. I really miss going into the office and seeing John and our office pup Lambert. But I’m so grateful I have a job where I’m able to work from home.

We’ve also been working with #PayUpHollywood and our support staff initiative. So, this is for those in our industry who have lost their jobs because of the shutdowns. I’ll definitely put a link so look in the show notes for information on how to donate or reach out for assistance if this fund applies to your situation.

Otherwise I’ve been rereading the books on my shelves. Going for walks. Checking in on my parents. Facetiming with friends. And generally trying to be as optimistic as possible. Normally it feels like social media creates this digital barrier between us, but right now I’m so happy that I can see my friends and my mom’s face. You know, it’s just so comforting because I think our instinct or mine at least when I’m worried or processing crisis is to be with loved ones, to be with people and gather a community. So, something I have to keep reminding myself of when I’m driving down a street like La Brea and it’s empty and completely surreal is that the way we’re coming through this and looking out for one another is by staying home. And as someone with family who works in medicine it’s heartening and encouraging that in what I’m saying seeing is this negative space, you know, we actually are united and doing our part to support the medical community, allowing those who need treatment to get it, and our healthcare providers a fighting chance in an already under-staffed and under-supplied situation.

So, you know, even though it’s hard for us to see it, I’m taking solace in that we’re each doing our part to contain the virus and protect our community. So thank you to everyone who is staying at home and thank you to all of the people who are going to work with essential functions. I’m especially grateful for the ways we’re adapting and able to stay connected.

I’m personally relying on my podcasts for a sense of normalcy. So if you think there’s anything we can do to support the Scriptnotes community please let us know and thank you to each of you for doing your part. Stay safe and be well. Thanks.

**BJ Novak:** Hi. This is one-time Scriptnotes guest BJ Novak responding to the request to share with listeners how I’m spending the time. I will say that although I am feeling very appreciative and lucky that my creative profession is one where I can do things at my own pace and I feel for producers, actors, let alone people not in our field who need to be more collaborative. I do feel very lucky.

In addition to having a long list of things that I want to watch and write, I am also making a point to be open to the moment, which I think is natural in a moment like this to just be overwhelmed. And there’s one instinct to think, oh no, I’m not pursuing things on my own schedule like I said I would. But there’s something very important to being an artist that is just being open to the moment and letting things surprise you and responding from somewhere deep in your subconscious to whatever is going on and creating something that you hadn’t expected to do. And that can be hard for writers like myself who are kind of more Type A.

So I think relaxing, not doing anything, and worrying, and thinking, and waiting for something to come to you out of necessity and truth rather than self-drive might be something really important.

**Chris Nee:** Hi. This is Chris Nee. And I’m the creator and executive producer and Doc McStuffins and Vampirina. And about a year ago I moved over to Netflix where I’m on an overall deal. We got sent home last Thursday. My staff is primarily the writing staff, so we were one of the first ones out. Obviously Netflix has been shut down about a week.

The weird thing about animation is that we are oddly situated to be able to keep going. You don’t have to shut down production. So Netflix has been really working overtime to get kind of kits and computer stations installed in all of the animator’s homes. Same thing is happening for my overseas studios. The biggest problem we’re having is voiceover records. That’s a little bit more of [the stumbling]. So I will be doing a lot of scratch that will live with our animatics and animation for quite some time until we can get our cast back in, which of course is totally fun for me.

And other than that it’s weird because everyone suddenly has all this time and they’re knitting and they’re learning to play the banjo and to be honest my days have been completely full. I have four shows that are going. And they’re all still going. You just get this very weird version of now seeing inside everyone’s homes. Seeing their pets. Seeing their wives and boyfriends and girlfriends. And that is a really funny version of it. I have found the need for people to chat more, doing a lot of emotionally trying to take care of my staff, and do check-ins and make sure that we have like a good texting feed going.

So all of that. Also, you know, there’s some hearts of darkness shit going on. I have spent some time recording all three parts of like English Madrigals that I remember from my childhood on Garage Band and I’ve spent hours doing that. And no one will ever hear that. That will never make the light of day for god’s sakes. And, you know, anyone who follows me on Twitter @chrisdocnee knows that my son is also home with me most of the time and is very much a 13-year-old boy. So his favorite thing is connecting to my Sonos with this which is just the opening licks of Eye of the Tiger. Here I go. So that will just show up on my Sonos very loud and very long by the way. This is half an hour. And no the beat never drops.

So, that’s kind of what I’m up to. It’s a little bit of business as usual without it not being business as usual at all. And I think kind of like finding that middle ground of taking care of people, giving them a purpose. So that’s what I’m up to. Animation continues. I wish it could come out faster. But around the world everyone has moved home and they are animating in their kitchens, their bathrooms, their bedrooms, their living rooms. Onward in these very, very strange times.

**Charlie Brooker:** Hello John and Craig and all your listeners. This is Charlie Brooker. Black Mirror person. And Londoner. And that’s where I am. I’m in London. Indoors, like lots of people are. Quite sensibly at the moment. I’m supposed to be focusing on doing a script. Quite a comedy script actually, which is both a challenge in the current climate, but also a welcome distraction at the same time.

Now I’ve also been an anxious person and a catastrophizing kind of person. Who would have thought that the brain behind Black Mirror was a paranoid flipping prick?

And oddly when things like this actually happen in the real world I find sometimes I’m kind of calm almost like I expected it. And I don’t know if that’s just me, or if there’s other – any of your other more anxious listeners feel like that. And I think strangely what that does mean is I’m staying optimistic. I’m sure that when this epidemic is over – I would like to be sure that when this epidemic is over we all will have had quite a wakeup call about our interdependence on one another about the need for investment in healthcare and each other. And, you know, I’m sure we’ll all get through it and I hope that we see a better world on the other side of it.

Now that’s the uncharacteristic, optimistic bit. Another weird thing that happened was quite a few people alerted to me to the fact that in Germany there’s a series of the reality show Big Brother where the contestants didn’t know anything about the coronavirus happening outside. Because they’ve been kept away from the real world. And people pointed out that this was very similar to the storyline of a show that I wrote before Black Mirror. A show called Dead Set which you can see on Netflix in the US and elsewhere I think in the UK.

And it’s a zombie show based around the real Big Brother house in Britain. And it does have eerie parallels. So, there’s been lots of things we’ve done in Black Mirror which have sort of come true. So if I am going to be – if it turns out I am Nostradamus, first of all I apologize. And secondly I’d like to draw your attention to the fact that I made a positive prediction a few moments ago. And let’s hope that comes true.

I hope everyone stays safe and well. Washes their hands. And let’s try and set up some virtual writer’s rooms worldwide. I don’t know. Write a fucking sketch show or something. Because otherwise, you know, what else are we going to do? Grow our hair? Take care. I’d say peace out, but that makes me feel like Ringo Starr. Bye!

**David Iserson:** Hi Scriptnotes. This is David Iserson.

**Susanna Fogel:** And this is Susanna Fogel.

**David:** And this is how we’ve been spending our quarantine. So, yeah, we had scheduled what we assumed was going to be like the last in person pitch at Netflix on two Thursdays ago.

**Susanna:** And brownnosers that we are, we got there an hour early and we were excited to get ready to really knock them dead.

**David:** And then we got like an email, or a phone call like ten minutes before we walked in that said, “Oh, yeah, they found somebody in the building who tested positive.”

**Susanna:** Oh, we had walked in. We had walked into the building.

**David:** No, we’d walked into the building. Before we walked into the pitch. Yeah. Ten minutes before they found somebody in the building who tested positive for coronavirus so get out. And then just like the flee and the flood of people heading to their cars. And we got mixed into that.

**Susanna:** So we figure that now they owe us a sale. They owe it to us to buy this high concept and rather mid-budget to high budget movie that they may or may not want to make. But now they really should.

**David:** So since then we’ve kept the sort of pod of people we interact with small, but we have chosen to continue to interact in person with ourselves. So, Susanna will come over to my house most days. And, you know, we try to get our work done.

**Susanna:** Yeah. You know, I think like most people we spend some time actually getting things done and some time dicking around on the Internet, which is not really any sort of change from what we were used to doing. Only now we’ve saved several hours a day in traffic that are now spent staring into space, indulging my Etsy obsession.

**David:** Yeah. We’ve found a lot of time not taken up driving from place to place. I’ve been posing my dog in like elaborate photographs, like a photo series of how we’ve been spending our time in quarantine, which I would not be able to do if I was busy trying to commute to things.

**Susanna:** Or busy being judged or how productive and employed you are. So, yeah, we spent some time talking about the end of the world like we all do. We spent some time then talking about what scripts we can write about the end of the world. Then we spent some time wondering if anyone else is writing about the end of the world and how many other people, particularly people that we feel competitive with, and whether they’re writing about the end of the world, and if they’ve already got a three-picture deal to write three scripts about the end of the world.

And lastly if people are listening to this podcast now and stealing our very unique idea to write about the end of the world.

**David:** Yeah. Someone like was I should write about the apocalypse that’s going on right now. That’s what our week in social distancing has been. Thanks guys.

**Damon Lindelof:** Hey John and Craig. Damon Lindelof here. How are you guys? I’m great. Just awesome. Fantastic. I’m just treating this whole thing as an opportunity for self-reflection. And I know I’m going to come out of this the other side as a better human. But seriously I’m scared and I’m worried. And I’m wondering how much I should project confidence that everything is going to be OK. Because I think being scared and worried is the more appropriate headspace for all of us to have in terms of just being safe right now. I guess the point is I’m Jewish.

I’m catching up on a lot of reading. I recommend Dave Eggers’ short new satire, The Captain and the Glory. It’s delightful. It made me laugh a lot. I’m listening to way too many podcasts about politics which are now kind of about the pandemic and I have to stop doing that. And the thing I’m enjoying most is that I’m finally binging The Crown. I don’t really care about the monarchy and I’m not an anglophile, but I love The Crown. And it’s excellent. And it’s actually gotten me to care about the monarchy and why the monarchy is important. And more importantly I guess it’s gotten me to care about the people in the monarchy. They’re quite miserable.

If you’ve seen anything that I’ve written I like writing about miserable people. And it is not easy being the Queen. I just started the third season a couple nights ago. I’m into the third season. And Olivia Colman has taking the rein – the reign – from Claire Foy. That’s reign, Craig. It’s a pun. Because taking the reins is when you hand over control. But it’s like reins when you’re steering a horse cart. But this is the kind of reign, R-E-I-G-N, that a royal person has, which is why it’s so, so clever.

I’m going insane. I love you guys. I’m glad you’re doing your Scriptnotes. Please stay safe. Bye.

**David Wain:** Hi, this is David Wain. I am spending my time in quarantine doing a series of things like solving jigsaw puzzles, going for walks, trying to read books, making YouTube videos, drawing, playing the piano, thinking of ways to make a whole movie starring myself in the house. Thinking about if I should start a dating website just for the COVID-19 infected. Throwing out everything in my house. Going through to-do lists from 2008. Putting on my own episode of Cutthroat Kitchen in my home with my children. Taking my bicycle apart and putting it back together. Writing thank you notes to people who have helped me out with things over the last 40 years. Checking out Breaking Bad for the first time. Answering emails from the ‘90s. Catching up on the college admissions scandal. Meditating. Binging General Hospital from the beginning. Planning a dinner party for August. Practicing magic tricks. Playing poker with friends online. Thinking about the record number of screenplays that are probably being written right now. Practicing the Rubik’s Cube. Watching The Wire. And conceiving of a new career path that involves not leaving my house.

**Mari Heller:** Hi. This is Mari Heller. I am surviving the coronavirus isolation as best I can. I’m with my kid and my husband out in the country in Connecticut with another family and we have been self-isolating since middle of last week. And we’re home-schooling our kids together. And the way we’re trying to get work done, because we’re all in the middle of writing scripts, is the dads are taking the morning of school, the moms are taking the afternoon shifts. We’re trading off working. And we’re sticking to a pretty strict schedule. Trying to keep the kids in a routine and give them a lot of outdoor time, but also give them expectations that they can trust in. And then we’re all trying to get work done.

And none of us are getting enough work done. Isn’t that a huge surprise? It’s pretty hard to concentrate when the world feels like it’s falling apart. But we’re trying. And that’s my update. Also next week I’m going to start trying to edit a project remotely with my editor, Anne, who is in a different part of the state and we’re going to see if we can figure out some kind of an Evercast or some system like that where we remotely edit. So we’ll see how that works.

All right. Hope everybody is staying safe out there.

**Rawson Thurber:** Hey Scriptnotes, it’s Rawson Thurber checking in from Atlanta, Georgia. Down here making my movie. We got put on hiatus for a couple weeks. Looks like it might be a bit longer than that. I’m here with my lovely kid, our two girls, or brand new baby boy, our dog, couple other folks. And we’re hunkered down and holed up here in Ainsley Park. And we’re using this period as sort of an ad-hoc vacation, looking at it as sort of forced time to not work. Spend time with each other. Read books. Watch movies. Catch up on the little things that maybe we don’t quite pay attention when we’re so busy all the time working, working, working.

So, kind of a strangely welcomed respite from the grind of shooting a movie. We were about halfway through when the plug got pulled. So it’s sort of interesting to be sprinting a marathon and suddenly have the finish line about halfway through it. Anyhow, looking forward to getting back to work. Please everybody out there stay safe. Wash your hands. And try not to lick any doorknobs. OK. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.

**Liz Hannah:** Hey guys. It’s Liz Hannah. I hope everybody is safe and healthy over there. It’s been a very weird week. For my part, you know, my husband and I are trying to just stay active, stay positive, and for me a lot of that is staying off of the news and social media as much as I can. That doesn’t mean that I don’t check it out or try and stay informed, but when this started I just found myself spending all day watching MSNBC and that was not healthy for me physically, mentally, or emotionally.

So I’ve tried to tune that out. We go on long walks with our dog. And obviously in practicing social distancing in all of the parameters that we’re instructed to do, but try and get some vitamin D in there. And then, you know, I’ve honestly found it really hard to focus. I think a lot of it was at first feeling this pressure that because we’re all stuck inside we should be writing that next great American screenplay. And there’s enough pressure to just put a cohesive sentence down on a piece of people that somebody can read.

So, I think, you know, kind of the end of this week I’ve found myself getting into a better place, of being able to remove that pressure and remove that instinct to make everything perfect. And I’m writing again and trying to give myself kind of a routine. Trying to stay healthy. Trying to watch something new so it’s not just the same ten minutes of the last ten minutes of a movie I’ve seen 47 times on HBO. Read a new book. I’m reading Kurosawa’s autobiography right now which I couldn’t recommend more. And I’m watching a lot of stuff on the Criterion Channel.

There’s the puppy. Yeah, so I don’t know. I think the only thing I can recommend is try not to put pressure on yourself to make this situation perfect. Just do your best to stay healthy mentally and physically. And get outside if you can. And if you can write, you can write. And just know we’re all in the same boat and we’re all doing this together.

**Malcolm Spellman:** John August and Craig Mazin and the Scriptnotes people this is Malcolm Spellman, arguably the greatest guest in the history of Scriptnotes, and most underrated for sure of all time. Dealing with corona on Thursday. The update is writer’s rooms are being handled through Zoom. It works. It’s definitely not as good as being in the room with people. There’s just a thing that’s lost with it. But it’s way, way – it’s closer to being right than it is being wrong. Dealing with a lot of fear from the people around us. We still got a lot of folks that are dealing with, you know, real shit. People with regular jobs, not in Hollywood. And you can already see some of that shit falling apart which is very, very sad and, you know, this is just starting. So, we kind of feel like we’re getting a preclude – me being me and Nichelle. Getting a preclude to what’s coming.

Our mood is good though. My dog – I’m in a battle right now where I bought my dog like a leather chew toy, not toy, but kind of thing that’s leather that you – whatever. I’m fighting with my dog over this thing. He doesn’t want to eat it, but he bites if you try and take his shit from him. So, it’s a deadly dance right now up in here.

Let me think. Music wise, Nichelle controls the music. It’s a music of hip-hop and ‘80s rock. That’s the norm over here. Sometimes some blues. We’re watching War of the Worlds on EPIX. Our mood is good though. And, you know man.

**Alison McDonald:** Hello Scriptnotes. Alison McDonald here. Prisoner of Second Avenue. Actually I have a deadline today but wanted to fire off this dispatch because I adore John and have a saint-like tolerance of Craig. Social distancing has always existed on the continuum of being a writer in my experience at any rate. So, the plague redux hasn’t been all that disruptive to my daily routine. And fortunately New York City has just made it legal for bars to deliver cocktails, so look for the silver lining people.

Apart from becoming Tennessee Williams – not in terms of talent or career, obviously, just temperament – I have been mainlining books. And I think most writers would agree that reading is the most purposeful form of procrastination. I read three books this week and have two on tap for the weekend. And because there’s such a great deal of economic peril for small businesses as entire cities shut down I have made it a point to purchase from independent online booksellers as much as possible and encourage you to do the same.

**Ryan Knighton:** Hey Scriptnotes. It’s Ryan Knighton. Unscripted in the quarantine. Where am I now? I’m actually back up in Canada and it was a very strange couple weeks as it has been for everybody. I was in the writer’s room on the third season of In the Dark. We had just started when the room was dissolved and we moved to working remotely. So, I went back up to Canada to try that instead of being in Los Angeles. So, I’m in my house in Ucluelet which is a small fishing village on the coast and has naturally enforced social distancing because there’s no people.

And that’s where this blind guy is. I’m in the woods. And so what am I doing? I am on Zoom a lot doing the writer’s room through Zoom these days. And writing in the day. And then, you know, basically killing time by going for walks on the beach and in the woods and things in between. So far so good. I’ve got my white cane with me and I haven’t gotten too lost yet, unless this isn’t my house. But, I think it is.

And in the evenings what do we do around here? Well my teenage daughter and I kill time in a horrible way. She’s been trying to teach me TikTok dances which is horrible if you can’t see. It’s sort of like doing origami but you can only describe, you know, how to fold things. So, that’s what Tess and I have been doing. And she’s sitting beside me right now and she can tell you that I’ve been doing an amazing job at it.

**Tess Knighton:** To be honest I really love to watch you fail because it’s really, really funny for me. It just makes me laugh in the evening.

**Ryan:** So that’s how we do the quarantine. She laughs at me failing. [laughs] I hope you guys are well.

**Riki Lindhome:** Hi John and Craig. It’s Riki Lindhome. I’m just here at home like everyone else. What I decided to do was I took out my idea board, which is just this corkboard I have of every idea. Every time I think of something I just put it on the board. And I looked at it and was like which idea have I been sitting on the longest. And I saw this one that’s kind of been on there for probably ten years. I never take it off because I’m always like, oh, maybe I could crack that someday. And I figured right now is the time to try. So, I’ve decided to tackle it.

And basically I just write first thing in the morning. I wake up. Have coffee. And I start. And I try to write for three or four hours. And then after that I’ve got the rest of the day off and I just watch movies or do whatever. But yeah, so that’s what I’m doing. I hope everyone is staying safe. Bye guys.

**Chris Keyser:** Hey John and Craig. This is Chris Keyser. Thank you for inviting me back to Scriptnotes on this, I guess, somewhat inauspicious occasion. I don’t think I’ve really settled into any kind of rhythm yet to be honest with you. I just got back into town just a few days ago. Top of the week. I was in Boston shutting down a couple of productions and saying goodbye to people which I guess is sort of par for the course now but nonetheless.

And now I’m trying to figure out what to do. I usually begin my day the same way. I have a friend, Glenn Sonnenberg, who has been putting out this kind of newsletter-y thing via email called Notes from the Bunker, which is a combination of stories and suggestions about movies and TV and things like that. And it’s been a great way to actually connect to people and hear what people are thinking about in quite the same way as you’re doing right here. That’s been nice. That’s probably the best thing about everything which is I’ve been spending a lot of time getting back in touch with people from as far as back as high school and college and law school and obviously writers that I know, particularly important because I just got into town, so I have to stay away from my own wife which is kind of strange.

We’ve been arranging virtual dinners with friends. We haven’t done it yet, but I think that will be fun when we get around to it. And I’ve been working somewhat. I’m lucky to have some work left to do on some of these projects. So I’ve been talking to the writers on my show and some producers on the other shows that I’m working on. And that’s been good. Not because any of the work actually needs to get done, but because I just actually need something to do every day and feel like I’m productive.

And then we try to go for a walk about once a day. An hour or so. And then usually at the end of the day we do a FaceTime call with our kids who are far away on the East Coast. And that’s the nicest but also the hardest part of all of this, not being able to touch or see my kids, knowing I won’t see them for months.

But, everyone is safe and fine and trying to be productive and reconnecting and that’s the new life for a while. So, I hope everyone who is listening is OK as well and I appreciate you guys doing this. So, thank you.

**Lulu Wang:** Hi John. Hi Craig. It’s Lulu. I have been thinking about what to say about what I’ve been up to because the truth is I think I’ve mostly just been trying to adjust to this new reality. Except that the reality seems to shift every day, every few hours. And so much develops in such a short period of time.

You know, tonight a friend of mine her sister is a doctor in the ER at a hospital and she and many other healthcare workers have been asked to procure their own masks because the hospital doesn’t have a supply, or enough of a supply. It’s one of the few times that social media has actually been really wonderful because so many people replied to my request for N95 masks that they might be willing to donate. And my friend spent the night driving around the city picking up these donations. And it really made me think about how important it is for us to be creative right now and to think about what skills we might have, what resources we might have that we can contribute because so much of what happens in the next few months in this country is going to depend on the choices that we make as a community and as individuals that make up that community.

Well, thank you. It’s one o’clock in the morning and I hope everyone stays safe and healthy. OK, bye.

**John:** Great. So our editor Matthew Chilelli was the one who cut all that together. Matthew had a big week himself. And so I wanted him to have the last word in terms of things that went down this week. Here’s Matthew Chilelli.

**Matthew Chilelli:** Hi, my name is Matthew Chilelli and this is what my boyfriend Tao and I have been doing during this lockdown. I’ve read a lot of stories about how some people are already running out of shows to watch, or getting bored while practicing social distancing. One activity that I can recommend that is definitely not boring is trying to get married during a quarantine.

So, Tao and I have been together for four years and on Wednesday, March 18, we were planning to get married. It was going to be a small civil ceremony at the Beverly Hills Courthouse with family and friends flying in from out of town. Then a nice dinner. Then drinks with friends at a rooftop bar. We thought this would be a nice, cozy wedding day and that was the plan. Right up until March 12 when things started to change.

Now Tao and I had a lot of conversations back and forth. Should we cancel the drinks? Should we cancel the dinner? Should we ask our family not to come here? We spent so much time going back and forth on each of these questions that a lot of the questions were answered for us. First, the bars and clubs closed. We sent out a sad email to our friends. Then the restaurants closed. We sent out another email. Our family wisely canceled their flights. Instead they asked us to record the ceremony so they could see it. And we promised we would.

The celebration was canceled but the wedding was still on because surely they wouldn’t close down the courthouses this soon, right? Well, on Monday March 16 just to be sure I checked the Beverly Hills Courthouse website and they closed it. And so just like everything else our courthouse wedding was canceled.

Now, when I was on the phone with them they did mention that we could still get married somewhere else if we had an officiant. But finding an officiant right away in the middle of a quarantine seemed impossible. Tao and I spent a few moments just staring into space.

Maybe we weren’t going to get married on the 18th after all. Maybe it was going to be weeks, or months, or who knows how long before we could marry each other. It felt like we had lost. We had tried so hard to get one step ahead of the coronavirus. We pared down the wedding. We limited the number of guests. But the coronavirus was one step ahead of us. All our plans had been canceled.

Now eventually we shook ourselves out of our funk. Tao reminded me that eight is a lucky number in China, so the 18th must be somewhat lucky so something has to go right with the wedding eventually. And eventually something did. I remembered I know an officiant. John Bassinger-Flores works for my alma mater Ithaca College. And in his spare time he’s a professional officiant. I gave him a call and he’s such a great guy that even though this was ridiculously short notice he agreed to marry us on the 18th. We just had to find a place. So we thought instead of getting married indoors we could use social distancing to our advantage and get married outside in a park.

Once again, luck was on our side. We held our ceremony at eight in the morning on the 18th at the Lake Hollywood Park right below the Hollywood sign. So with the sun rising over the Hollywood Hills, the smell of morning dew in the air, and no one but us at the park, Tao and I got married. John performed a wonderful ceremony witnessed by our best friend who also took pictures and video so we could share it with our family later.

This ceremony was so different from the courthouse wedding we were expecting just a week earlier. Instead of a large group there were four of us. Instead of being in a courthouse we were in a park. It wasn’t what we were expecting. It was better. Tao described it to one of his friends like this. Our wedding was so quiet and peaceful. We were able to just enjoy each other and focus on each other during this moment that was meant for just the two of us. At the same time we had all of nature as our witness. It felt like the whole world was just quietly listening while we both said I do.

**Craig:** I mean, my heart. Right?

**John:** Yeah, my heart just breaks. Matthew is one of the kindest, most gentlest wonderful people I’ve met. And I met him through Scriptnotes. So he was coming to our Scriptnotes Live shows. He was a video editor. I had a hunch he could probably cut podcasts so I asked him to cut a demo podcast. He did a great job and he’s been cutting ever since. I’m so happy for him.

**Craig:** Yeah. Congrats guys.

**John:** Matthew was in Japan for a year. They made it through all of that. So it’s just great when great things happen during challenging times, so I’m so happy for the two of them.

**Craig:** Yes. Yes. Yes. Love still blossoms.

**John:** All right. Now it is time for our One Cool Things. I listened to a lot of podcasts, a lot of political podcasts, news podcasts, and you’d guess what they’re probably about. They’re about this pandemic that we’re in. And sometimes as I’m walking my dog in the morning I just don’t want to hear more about it. So I’ve started looking for other podcasts I can listen to that don’t freak me out as much. And so one thing I’m starting to listen to is Dead Pilot Society. So this is a not weekly show but an occasional show that goes through and they bring in people that have written pilots that never aired or never sort of got shot, but they were good pilots. And they bring them in and they do readings of pilots that never made it to air.

So, it’s a good thing that has nothing to do with this current moment, but is just good writing from good writers. So Dead Pilot Society is a thing to check out.

**Craig:** Yeah. That’s awesome. We’ve been talking to a bunch of our friends to try and get some more dead pilots over there. So let’s see how that goes.

My One Cool Thing this week really is cool. Now, word of fair warning, hopefully you’ve all played the game Codenames. It’s great.

**John:** It’s phenomenal. So describe Codenames for people who haven’t played it before.

**Craig:** Super simple game. You have these cards with words on them. And you make an array, a five-by-five array. So you have 25 cards out on a table. And there are two clue givers and everybody else is a receiver. So you divide everybody into two teams. You have two captains that are giving clues. My job – and I can see on a little grid which one of the words on the table, there’s seven or eight that belong, or eight or nine that belong to my team. And the other clue giver has another eight or nine.

So our job as clue givers is to say one word to our teammates and then a number. That’s the amount of words that we’re asking them to guess on our one clue word. And then they have to figure out which are the words on this table that they are clueing us toward with their one single word.

It’s so much fun. It takes about ten seconds to learn. It’s really fun. And there is a fantastic way to play this now online. But I don’t think that this is some sort of official sanctioned thing. So what I’m asking is if you have not purchased the physical Codenames game do it. Then you can do this. OK? Be fair and kind to the geniuses that made Codenames. The website is horsepaste.com. That’s right. Horsepaste.com.

It works brilliantly. So we’ve already done this once. We’re going to do it again tonight. The best way to play is by combining a laptop with Zoom so you can see everybody and then keep the game running maybe on a tablet. And everybody is all looking at the same words. It’s quite brilliant the way it functions. Super fun. Online Codenames, horsepaste.com.

**John:** Excellent. I’m looking forward to trying that. I like Ticket to Ride the game a lot. I like the board game. And the iPad version is quite good and you can do shared games on that. So we are making some play dates with friends to do a game night with Ticket to Ride and other things like that.

**Craig:** Fun.

**John:** We’ll make it work. And a reminder that our Premium subscribers are going to be listening to me and Craig talk about math after this. But this is our show for the week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** Congrats.

**John:** Our outro this week is by Ryan Dunn. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts. We try to get them out about four days after the episode airs.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scripnotes.net where you can get all the back episodes and bonus segments.

I want to thank all of our previous guests who sent in their updates on what they’ve been up to this week. There are a few more trickling in so we might save those for next week. But we love you all. We miss you. And we hope you are doing great.

Craig, thank you for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John. See you next time.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** OK, Craig. Math. This is two screenwriters talking about math.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**John:** So, I thought about this because over the last couple of weeks I’ve been reading two books by Matt Parker who is a British mathematician and comedian. Things to Make and Do in the Fourth Dimension and Humble Pi. They’re both good. I’ll have links in the show notes to both of those. But it also got me thinking how much or how little I use math on a daily basis. My daughter is home from – she’s obviously doing school at home right now. And she is in algebra 2 honors right now. And she’s doing stuff that I kind of half recognize, but I’ve never done anything like that since high school. What’s been your experience of math as an adult?

**Craig:** Well, and I was a pretty mathematically-inclined guy. Yeah, I was a Mathlete. And I went as far as calculus. I didn’t go any further than that. I other than obviously simple arithmetic, generally I will use geometry more than anything else. Geometry actually does come in handy when you’re measuring things or trying to figure out the distance between things. If you need to know the hypotenuse because you’re like, well, if I hold this up high how long will it go there. Radius and diameter, often very helpful to know. Oh, statistics. Understanding how statistic generally function is a good thing.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I’m not sure I use it for much more than simple averaging and ratios, also very useful.

**John:** Yeah. I would say like when we did the Kickstarter for Writer Emergency Pack I had to deal with a lot of big numbers. And so I guess you should probably distinguish between like building spreadsheets of things versus sort of like the real figuring out math and figuring out variables.

Every once and a while I’ll come into a situation where like, oh, this is two equations and two variables. But that’s every like two or three years I’ll come into a situation where like, oh, there actually is an X and a Y and there are two formulas. There’s a reason why this thing in the real world requires this kind of math. I’ve not needed the quadratic formula in a really, really long time. I get it. I know why it works. But I’ve not needed to use it.

Now calculus I never actually had. So I stopped at algebra 2 honors and as a journalism major, this is kind of embarrassing, I never had to take any more math beyond that. So I took a physics for majors class my freshman year of college and it required that you be concurrently enrolled in calculus or already had it, so I kind of faked my way through it. And so I understood that calculus is about rates of change and higher functions, but I never really got it.

**Craig:** So many mathematicians just started screaming. [laughs]

**John:** Well, OK, it’s fair for me to say that calculus is about rates of change. That’s fair.

**Craig:** Yes, I mean, that is definitely part of what’s going on. How do I – geez, I’m trying to figure out how to say it. It is. Certainly change is an enormous part of it. No question. But, yeah, there’s differential and there’s integral and they’re two different things. So integral is more about the kind of growth of variables, quantities and things. And also a huge part of calculus is just figuring out how much is under a curve.

It turns out that–

**John:** That’s complicated.

**Craig:** Yeah. So figuring out the area of a triangle is easy. One-half the base times height I believe.

**John:** Height. Yeah. Because if you think about it a triangle is just half of a rectangle. So therefore you just, yeah.

**Craig:** Half of a – yes, that’s assuming that–

**John:** Half a quadrilateral. Yeah.

**Craig:** Yes. If it’s like a weird scaling one I guess it still works.

**John:** It works.

**Craig:** It still works somehow. But, yeah, I’ve already forgotten that one. But figuring out the area under a curve is hard. Until they came across calculus. But super helpful when you’re working in physics. I mean, really what it comes down to is calculus has great application for people who are mathematicians and it has great application for people who are working in physics.

**John:** Yeah. Or engineers. People who need to send rockets up. All that stuff does track and make sense.

**Craig:** Yep.

**John:** Now people always define themselves as being algebra people or geometry people? I guess I define myself as a geometry person because the thing I got most out of probably all my mathematical education was how to do proofs and just the importance of like what is an actual logical proof and how you sort of make a thing happen.

And I’m guessing that you are also that kind of person because as a puzzle solver that really is kind of what proofs are, isn’t it?

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, proofs, well yes. They are exercises in logic. And it is true that there are a number of puzzles that I’ve thought about are very much like geometric proofs in that they rely on certain axioms. So in geometry an axiom is just something we know is true. Well, in the way that geometry works is every axiom is something that had to be proved first. Really simple. Simple things like A plus B equals B plus A. That had to be proved.

And so everything is built on a series of proofs. So if you’re playing Sudoku you may know, well, if there’s one number here and one number there and you can make a square out of those little pairs that are exclusive and everything else. Then you get rid of the other ones. Yes, it becomes another axiom that you can figure out how to prove. Geometry was fun. I liked it.

**John:** I liked geometry, too. And I think people had a bad experience with geometry because they weren’t introduced to it at the right time, the right speed. They might have had a bad teacher. And so they throw it all out. And I do feel like that sort of rigorous thinking was incredibly important for just being a logical person sort of going forward and recognizing fallacies. And recognizing unsupported conclusions which people can fall into even if they don’t – you might not think they’re gullible people, but they will jump from A to F without actually thinking are B, C, D, and E all really supported along the way.

**Craig:** I mean, I will go out on a limb and say something that is probably going to get me screamed at. But it seems to me that we have inflicted an amount of math upon children that in many cases is just not purposeful. It is incredibly important for any kid who has a general interest or affinity for it even, the STEM subjects, science, technology, engineering, math. But if you’re looking at someone who wants to be a musician, well, I mean there’s some math involved in music I suppose, more on the engineering side. But if somebody wants to be an actor I’m not sure they need math.

If somebody wants to be a salesman, I mean, there’s some math involved. Again, everybody should know basic arithmetic, of course. But algebra 2 where you’re sitting there trying to figure out how to reduce down fractions with square roots in them, that’s simply not relevant to 90% of the children in that school.

And there are other things that we don’t teach that are. And I sometimes think that we are saddled with a kind of system that is that way because it’s always been that way. And it would be better, I think, if we started including things like critical thinking.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That would be incredibly useful to us.

**John:** So while you get all the negative email about your rant there, I’m going to stick up for common core. Because one of the things I’ve noticed when my daughter was going through her public elementary school is that the common core math and English stuff that they were doing was smart in the sense that it built off of each other. And like those critical thinking skills in terms of like is that a supported argument did fit well back and forth together.

Now, the common core math worksheet she got when she was in kindergarten, first grade, some of them were sort of inscrutable. Like why are we doing this thing? But once you understood the underlying logic it’s making sure kids understood numbers are counting things but numbers are not just counting things. That they actually have placeholders. How place values work and all that stuff. They were doing a very rigorous job explaining all of that stuff so that you could get to the other math and you could really have a foundation for understanding the more complicated math.

And I think when people struggle with math it’s generally because some important step along the way just wasn’t made fully clear for them.

**Craig:** Well, and of all the things that kids reasonably say, “I will never use this. Why do I need to learn this,” math is way up there. Because for a lot of it they’re right. I mean, honestly – look, I am glad that I know how to multiply fractions. And I am glad that I know how to add fractions. And if you’re cooking sometimes it comes in very, very handy.

But for a lot of people, especially now, they’re just going to type it into a calculator. And, in fact, they will say it. They will say, “Hey, blankety-blank, tell me what the such and such.” And their favorite PDA is going to speak it back to them.

**John:** Yeah. And I’m not so worried about that. The fact that I will use a tool like that to do division or multiplication or other things just because it’s faster, I don’t think that’s actually a crisis. As long as they understand what the process is that’s going on behind the scenes, that I could do it by hand if I needed to do it by hand, I’m really not so freaked out about that.

**Craig:** Yeah. Neither am I. It’s an interesting thing. And, look, the reason I’m saying this is not because I’m grouchy about – I love math. I legitimately love math. I also recognize that a lot of people don’t. I also recognize that it’s a massive problem for kids who have certain learning disabilities. And it is traumatic for kids that don’t have learning disabilities. They’re just no good at it.

We excuse the tone deaf from music classes. They don’t have to attend. They are not forced to sing in front of everybody. But there are people who are a little bit number deaf and they are forced to go on this somewhat humiliating march.

And when – look, look. I was an excellent math student. And then I got to Princeton and I was pre-med. And one of the deals with pre-med is that you had to take physics 103. Not physics 101, which was physics for poets. Physics 103. Physics for physics people.

**John:** I took that, too.

**Craig:** So off I went. And I’m in the lecture hall where Einstein used to be. And I’m surrounded by, you know, geniuses. [laughs] And for the first time in my life I knew what it meant to be utterly lost. I fought – and when I say I fought I mean I’ve never fought harder academically – fought my way to a B. That’s a B at Princeton, which is basically the equivalent of a C. Right? I fought. But I remember distinctly thinking, oh, this is what it’s like. When the teacher says something everybody goes, “Well of course, but what about this?” And he says, “Great question.” And you’re thinking, no, I’m still stuck on the “oh of course part.” Why is that of course? What are you even talking about? I’m drowning and with every additional sentence I’m further and further behind to the point where I just go limp. It’s scary and it’s upsetting and we have to just be aware that there are a lot of kids that are experiencing that every day. And I’m not sure they need to.

**John:** So my experience in freshman year Physics for Majors, which I took out of pure hubris. I didn’t need to take that science class but I took it. And there was some sort of like physics picnic at the start of the year. And so we were all invited to this thing. And it was at this playground thing and there was a spinning thing. And I thought, oh, centrifugal force. And I got these looks form people like, “Wait, did you just say centrifugal force?” And I’m like, yeah. They’re like that’s not a thing.

**Craig:** That’s not a thing, man. It’s centripetal.

**John:** Yeah. And I’m like, oh. And from that moment forward, oh wow, I don’t belong here. These are lovely people and I’m so glad they have the skills they have, but I’m not one of those people.

**Craig:** Yeah. I just remember thinking, oh god. Because what had happened was I had come out of a high school where the best you could do with math was to get to calculus. That was it. Well, wonderful public high school in New Jersey. And a lot of these kids had come from private schools where they were already taking Calc 2. They were in AP Calc. Their math skills were really far beyond mine. And the thing about math is like you said, it’s a pyramid. You build on it. So, that’s my big sort of plea to the world of education to maybe ease up on the math stuff because the kids that love math and excel at math are going to gobble it up anyway. And if you see a kid drowning, just back off. Back off.

**John:** Or build out classes that are actually practical applications of math. Because, I mean, teaching kids how to balance their budget is much more important than teaching them how to do high level things. And sine, cosine, and tangents, which they will never, ever touch again in their lives.

**Craig:** I mean, honestly, it is a rare thing. The only time I ever think of Sohcahtoa, you know what Sohcahtoa is, right?

**John:** I don’t know what that is.

**Craig:** Ok. So you once did. Sohcahtoa is the all-purpose pneumonic for figuring out how to calculate the sine, the cosine, and the tangent. So, Soh, is sine is opposite over hypotenuse. Cah, cosine is angle over hypotenuse. And Toa, Tan, tangent, is opposite over angle. Sohcahtoa.

The only time I ever use Sohcahtoa is when I’m helping either – well, Jack is now, he’s graduated so he’s no more math for him. But Jessica is in 9th grade and the 9th grade math they’re getting into it. That’s why I use it. To help teach my kids. And then I think WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS? We’re on this wheel. This purposeless wheel. Like they’re learning it, why? So they can teach it to their kids?

**John:** Indeed. So they can share the story with their children.

**Craig:** Yeah. Exactly.

**John:** It’s a generational gift.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**John:** Craig, thanks for the math talk.

**Craig:** Thanks John. Stay safe.

**John:** Bye.

**Craig:** Bye.

 

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Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

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Scriptnotes, Episode 441: Readers, Transcript

March 25, 2020 News, Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/readers).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 441 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the program we’re going to be talking about readers, both the friends you ask to look at your script, and the folks who are paid to analyze scripts. We’ll be talking about unions and state law and coverage, plus how to gently say the script is garbage and this person should maybe not write screenplays.

**Craig:** [laughs] Is it like that? You just say, softly, your script is garbage and you should maybe not write screenplays.

**John:** [laughs] In our bonus segment for Premium members Craig and I will talk about baldness.

**Craig:** Hmm.

**John:** Yeah. We know a little something about that.

**Craig:** Yeah. You know, we’re experts.

**John:** We are experts. Before any of that starts, we have big news. Craig, you have a new show.

**Craig:** I got a new show. So, this is something that I honestly never thought that I would be able to work on because it’s sort of the great white whale of videogame adaptation possibilities. It’s a game called The Last of Us. It is I think 2013 was when it came out I believe. It is my favorite videogame. And I’ve played them all. And it is my favorite specifically because it is beautiful. The game play itself is quite good, but not the point. The point is that the story is remarkable, the characters are remarkable. It’s just – it made me feel things. And typically videogames don’t make me feel things as much as they engage me and delight me.

So, it turned out that Neil Druckmann who is the creative director of The Last of Us and creative director over at Naughty Dog which is the same game studio that does Uncharted, among other things, was a Chernobyl fan and Shannon Woodward, our mutual friend who worked as an actor on The Last of Us 2 which is coming out in May made an introduction like a little matchmaker would. And, you know, the rest is history.

**John:** Aw. And now you’re walking down the aisle at HBO.

**Craig:** Walking down the aisle of HBO. So it was going to be a movie for a long time, so Neil was working on it as a movie for one of Sony’s divisions. And, you know, my feeling was you can’t make a movie out of this thing. It has to be a show. It needs length. It is about the development of a relationship over the course of a long journey and so it has to be a television show and that’s that. And that’s the way I see it. And happily Neil agreed and HBO is delighted and so here we are.

So, we can’t start on it right away because they’re still finishing up the second game. But pretty soon we’re going to get, I mean, we’ve been talking about it for months and coming up with little plans and things. But we’re going to dig in in full, full earnest pretty soon, just as soon as they kind of wrap up their final work-work on the sequel. And so hopefully more exciting news to come on that front, because it’s something we’re both motivated to see on TV.

**John:** Great. So, distant time horizon for it. But I actually like having things that are going to be great and in the future because it gives me hope on those dark days when things look kind of grim. I know that there will be a Last of Us TV show at some point. I know Beyoncé is going to drop a new album for us at some point. So, the things that I don’t have in front of me but I can look forward to sometimes is all I need to get through the day.

**Craig:** I never thought that Last of Us would be a series, so I’m thrilled that there’s a second one. But there are certain videogame franchises you know are series, so I’ve started to view my adult life as being marked by Elder Scrolls releases.

**John:** [laughs] Yes.

**Craig:** And it’s been nine years.

**John:** My daughter just started playing Skyrim. It’s so fascinating to watch her go back and do all that stuff again.

**Craig:** Glorious stuff. And they are going to make Elder Scrolls VI, but not for a while. So we’re going to still be in a waiting pattern on there. But Last of Us 2, that will be a big one coming out in May. So, looking forward to it.

**John:** Hooray. We’ve got so much follow up. Craig, this is going to be a big reading aloud episode where we’re reading stuff that people wrote in. I’ll take this first one. Writing about Episode 439, Sarah wrote in to say, “I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your episode on general meetings. As a TV writer visiting LA from London it was a surreal, yet comforting experience to listen to the episode while driving around on my very own water bottle tour. I’ve also add a tip LA residents might not have considered. If you are a visitor from a country that doesn’t have such clement weather as LA, keep sunscreen in your car and wear it. If you’re going to a big studio you can be expected to park up to half a mile away in direct sunlight and if you’re not used to it that walk can be brutal.

“My car got blocked in by a valet at Disney while I was in a meeting and in the 20 minutes of jittering time it took to free my car I basically burst into flames. It’s also worth noting to out-of-towners that you really don’t have to drive in LA anymore. That used to be the case but no longer thanks to Uber and Lyft. Car share apps remove the stress of studio parking, although on the plus side renting a car does give you somewhere to live between meetings, kind of like your own mobile office.”

**Craig:** That’s great advice from Sarah. And certainly anyone from England or Ireland really needs to prepare for the sun out here. It can be pretty oppressive. And that will tie into our bonus episode as well.

**John:** On baldness, absolutely. I’m a person who keeps a hat in the car at all times just in case I am stuck somewhere in that bright daylight. Do you want to take this next email about valets?

**Craig:** Yeah, sure. So, we did talk about valets. This was a kind of good overall LA episode. And Sven from Portugal, which is, you know, confusing, because that’s a Swedish name, but he’s from Portugal. I love it. Maybe he is Swedish and he just lives in Portugal. Either way, Sven from Portugal writes, “Generally at Warners valet is done by Town Park. The studio hires Town Park and Town Park pays their drivers. I’ve chatted with the drivers on a few occasions. They are not paid well. They are allowed to accept tips. They don’t expect it because on the lot don’t generally tip them. They usually get their tips during fancy pants events elsewhere. So if you’re ever visiting the WB lot and someone in a red shirt parks your car, it would be kind to throw them a few dollars extra.”

And I certainly agree with that.

**John:** Yeah, I agree with that, too. And thanks Sven for telling me because especially at Warners I didn’t know. And so now I will throw those folks some extra money.

**Craig:** It’s not common, but if you are meeting with certain people at Universal you may be asked to–

**John:** Yeah, I remember that, too.

**Craig:** Swing your car over to I think they’re called Blue Wave valet. So, yep, tip.

**John:** Tip. Back to Episode 438, regarding the brief mention of a child playing with stick and hoop like an impoverished turn of the century child, Simon wrote in to say, “It’s shockingly fun.”

**Craig:** No it’s not.

**John:** “I got a chance to try it at a Victorian-themed picnic in Greenwood Cemetery and I’m still mad about how fun it was. Stick and hoop for life.”

**Craig:** Simon, it’s just too hipster for words. I can’t handle it. A Victorian-themed picnic in Greenwood. So if you’re wondering where Greenwood Cemetery is, dear listeners, it’s in Brooklyn. Of course it is. So, that’s where hipsters go to die now, I guess. Or rather play hoop and stick at a Victorian-themed picnic. Your handlebar mustache is already in my eyeball, Simon. I love you, but no.

**John:** I can only envision a sepia-tone flashback of C. Montgomery Burns from The Simpsons remembering his childhood, where he still looks like an old man. It’s fantastic that stick and hoop. Yes, the best.

**Craig:** Stick and hoop. Yes, I’m sure you were mad. I’m sure you’re still angry about how much fun it was. If you’re still angry about it, Simon, why don’t you take your lumberjack self out into the street over there in Park Slope and start hoop-sticking some more.

**John:** Back in Episode 431 we answered a question about incorporating improv into your script. [Uval] wrote in to say, “Just a quick note about Rebecca’s question that left you guys without a clear answer. This writing method she describes is very similar to the way Mike Leigh famously writes his films. He doesn’t even begin with an outline. He always has sole writing credit on those.” And as we were trying to answer the question I was trying to think of Mike Leigh’s name and I could not remember his name. But, yes, that is the way he sort of does it. He assembles his actors and they figure out what the movie is as he’s working with them.

So, yes, that is true. But also Rebecca herself wrote in with some follow up. Craig, do you want to take the follow up from Rebecca?

**Craig:** Sure. Rebecca said, “Thanks for taking my question. I wanted to follow up with more clarity I got from the WGA. I emailed the credits department and ended up chatting with someone on the phone for a good 20 minutes. As long as my actors’ contracts/agreements state that we will develop the script together through improv it’s OK and I can fairly credit them with ‘dialogue improvised by.’ If I credit them with ‘written by’ either guild writer actors get in trouble for taking non-union writing work, or I have to use WGA contracts which are financially impossible when you’re living the dream/working retail.” So, should I translate that a little bit for the folks at home?

**John:** Please.

**Craig:** Basically there’s this credit “dialogue improvised by” which you can award for free. It confers nothing beyond just the credit. There’s no residuals attached to it. There’s no separated rights. But “written by” is a writing-writing credit. Right? So at that point either they’re not working under a WGA contract, which means everybody is in trouble, or you have to actually hire them under a WGA contract. That means residuals. That means minimum payments. That means pension and health contributions. For a lot of people as Rebecca points out that’s going to be too much.

**John:** I want to commend Rebecca for taking initiative to just reach out to the WGA and figure out how do I do this properly. Great. To the WGA for giving her an answer and actually talking with her for 20 minutes about it. And what they came back with does make sense, I think, for everybody. First off that you’re being upfront about this is the process we’re going to go through and this is the credit that we’re going to agree upon if we actually make this thing. It’s just such a smart way to approach it from the start so everyone knows what they’re getting themselves into at the very start.

**Craig:** And I would like to also thank the guild credits department. As grouchy as I am about the union and I get grouchier by the day these days, I am a huge fan and longstanding fan of the credits department. They work very, very hard. A lot of them are attorneys. They have mastered a very complicated system and they have to sometimes litigate these disputes between writers which is really difficult to do. So, hat’s off to them. They work very, very hard under a brutal caseload and every day is a crushing deadline. So, hat’s off to the credits department at the guild.

**John:** And so often the credits department has to deal with crisis situations kind of after the fact, where like stuff was done in a really crazy way and then they have to sort it out. So, in some ways I’m sure they appreciate the call in advance saying like, hey, this is a thing I’m thinking about doing, how do I make it not be crazy. That’s just wonderful for them.

**Craig:** If only the studios had the same concerns.

**John:** Yes. They don’t.

**Craig:** Nope.

**John:** Spoiler.

**Craig:** Nope.

**John:** We have talked often on the show recently about assistant pay. I want to talk through some sort of next steps and sort of what’s been happening. So, last night Megana and I sat down with the #PayUpHollywood folks to talk through what’s been going on and what are the next few things that we should be doing and announcing and working on. So, there’s two things that Megana and I are going to be working on and we could use some listener help.

So, a few weeks back I published an Assistant’s Advice to Showrunners Guide. We talked about it on the podcast which is basically assistants recommending things for showrunners to do to make writing rooms work better and assistant’s lives better in the writing staff. We need to do a kind of thing like that but not just for writer’s room assistants, but for sort of all industry assistants in general. So, assistants who are working at agencies, working at studios, working at production companies. There’s a lot of general advice that assistants could give to bosses to help them use assistants better and make the relationship work better.

So, we’d love you to write in to ask@johnaugust.com with what are some bullet point pieces of advice you’d like to give to bosses in the entertainment industry so that they can actually have the best, most productive working relationships with their assistants. So that’s the first thing.

The second thing is we’d like to come out with a guide for new assistants. Sort of a 101 like, OK, you are an assistant, here are some things to be thinking about as you’re going into it. But with also a bit of nuance about how to politely decline things, what’s actually normal. This is a list of things that are classic things that assistants can do. These are problematic things and sort of how to tell the difference between those two things.

So if you are an assistant working in Hollywood right now and would like to write in with like normal, not normal, or sort of 101 advice we’d like to take that as well. So we’d like to be able to put out PDFs like that other PDF that are sort of more general purpose that are not so specifically tailored to assistants working in writers rooms.

**Craig:** This is great. It seems to me that you and I for a very long time have been working on one large meta project, even though it’s been divided up into lots of tiny projects, and the meta project is having people learn about each other. Because in this business everything is designed to compartmentalize everyone. We talk about networking all the time, but networking has always been defined as talk to people to try and get yourself a job, or move yourself ahead. It’s about personal ambition. But what we never seem to be able to talk about together as a community is how we’re paid, how we’re treated, what makes us upset, what makes us happy.

So, we’ve been doing this for a long time for writers. It’s nice that we’re also starting to do it for assistants. I think that’s great. And who knows? Maybe we’ll extend it to, well, it’s a topic that’s coming up.

**John:** It is, yeah.

**Craig:** We do have a nice thing that was sent in just covering the efforts we’ve been making on assistants’ pay. And so this came through to Megana and here’s what we got. “I just wanted to say thank you and let you know the work you’re doing has had a tangible effect on my life. I’m a writer’s PA and today my showrunner and EP sat me down and asked me specifically if I had ever had to pay for anything myself and to let them know immediately if I ever felt like I was being asked for something unfair. They both said neither had ever considered that a PA would have to front money themselves or that a studio would take money out of a PA’s salary if the room went over budget for lunch.

“Additionally, my EP said she assumed that I would come to her if I felt that I was being put in an unfair situation. But that she has realized because of #PayUpHollywood that I or any PA might not feel comfortable coming forward and that it’s on her to make it clear that she would have my back, not on me or any assistant to ask. She straight up said she would have never thought to say this to me without Scriptnotes, so I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that you have at least influenced one room positively.”

**John:** Aw, that’s great to hear.

**Craig:** That is great to hear. I mean, considering that I’m not paid for this job. [laughs] Wait, when are we going to do like #PayUpJohn?

**John:** [laughs] That’s right. Where Craig finally gets all the back checks he’s owed for Scriptnotes over the years. All those t-shirts sold and subscriptions. Yeah.

**Craig:** Are we going to have a town hall where it’s just me and you?

**John:** That’s what it is.

**Craig:** You on a stage and me in the audience. And then you ask does anyone have any questions. And I slowly make my way to the microphone.

**John:** Who is the Tulsi Gabbard on that debate stage is my question? Who is the person who gets a tiny bit of camera time over there on the edge?

**Craig:** Oh, Tulsi. She’s still in it. Still running, I believe.

**John:** Still running. Yeah.

**Craig:** She’s got a dream.

**John:** She’s finding her light.

**Craig:** [laughs] Well, anyway, that was a great – thank you for writing that in. I mean, it truly does make us feel very, very good because sometimes, you know, you do these things, you have no idea if they are really are making a tangible, practical difference in human beings’ lives. So this was lovely to hear. Thank you.

**John:** Absolutely. And we’d love to be able to hear those kinds of stories from people outside of writers’ rooms. So, we’ve had some impact on agencies and we’ve seen some small changes happening in agencies, which is great. We’d love to see more of it. I think the goal at least from our little narrow perspective is to make sure more companies that are not necessarily writer focused are really looking at their assistants and looking at the needs of the assistants and how to treat them better. So it’s both payment and practices. And you sort of can’t disentangle those two. So these next documents will be about practices. There’s going to be some stuff coming up pretty soon about payment and sort of what we’ve found in terms of really what an industry minimum wage needs to look like in order for this to be a sustainable business.

**Craig:** But part of what we’re doing I guess is maybe expanding our crusade to another front?

**John:** Maybe to another front. Let’s get to our main topic today which is readers. And so to set the table here a bit, this is a show about writing and so obviously everything we write is intended to be read by somebody. Sometimes you’re looking for a friend to give that friendly read and give you advice and give you some notes. And sometimes you’re faced with a gatekeeper who is basically the barrier between you getting to that next stage is this reader who is in the way.

And all of us also are readers ourselves, because we’re always reading each other’s scripts. And some of us read other people’s scripts for our job. That’s how I used to make my living. So, I really want to talk about this on two tracks. First is how to be a good reader in terms of like that friendly read of scripts. And we’ve talked some of this before on the show.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** But then didn’t really talk about that professional reader job which we really haven’t ever gotten into on the podcast before.

**Craig:** Yeah. A lot of people don’t know that there are longstanding readers that work at specific studios. I didn’t know until, well, about five, six years ago when I discovered that there were kind of a set group of readers at Universal because my executive said, “Good news. Our toughest reader liked your drafts.” It’s like, wait, who? Your toughest what now? Because dumb-dumb over here assumed that the people whose job title was, you know, creative executive or development executive were the people doing the reading and doing the notes. No.

**John:** Not always.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** And so I want to disentangle a little bit, we talked about notes before and people should go back and listen to Notes on Notes, which is where we sat down with development executives to talk about the notes they give us and how to give us notes that really will positively influence the next draft.

But a reader classically isn’t necessarily that person. So, if we talk about the friendly reader, then yes. You go to that friendly reader – if I’m sending Craig my script I want his feedback and I want to know how do I make this script better. But that’s not actually the job of most professional readers. They really are more the job of like this is what’s not working, or this is why we should consider this or not consider this project.

A lot of times professional readers just like some piece of material comes into the company, it is given to the reader saying like what is this, give me a synopsis, give me your comments so I don’t have to read this thing, or at least I don’t have to read this thing very carefully. So, let’s talk about sort of what that job is, which I can tell you about because this is how I made my living for years.

**Craig:** You did it.

**John:** So when I was a student at USC for film school I had a class with Laura Ziskin. Laura Ziskin is a legendary producer. She passed away a few years ago. And that first class I had with her was on development and really about how to read screenplays and how to write coverage. Coverage is like a book report on a screenplay. It has a very standardized cover page. Each company does their cover page a little bit differently. But it’s like a sheet that lists the writer, who was this submitted to, the dates, the main characters’ names, and sort of a scorecard of like how characterization was, how dialogue was, plot stuff. And recommend or not recommend both as a writer and as the screenplay itself.

The second page of that is generally the synopsis. Synopsis is one or two pages and it’s just paragraph form talking through the story. The third page is comments, analysis. This is like really what you thought of it. It’s the review of the screenplay.

So, I learned how to do this in Ziskin’s class. I wrote up little sample things. Some of our first assignments was writing up coverage. And I was pretty good at it. I’m pretty good at being able to put words together in a way that make sense. So, I was able to take that sample coverage to get an internship at a place called Prelude Pictures. It was a tiny little production company over at the Paramount lot. I didn’t know whatever happened to them but I Googled them yesterday and it turns out they did produce a bunch of movies that I wasn’t aware they actually produced. But at the time they were an aspiring little production company.

**Craig:** Prelude Pictures?

**John:** Prelude Pictures.

**Craig:** Prelude to bankruptcy?

**John:** No, so Prelude, my understanding is that their money came from Little Caesar’s Pizza. So I think it was Little Caesar’s Pizza money and this was at the time when if somebody just had some money and wanted to get in the movie business they might make a deal with Paramount saying like, “Hey, I want to invest in your movies,” and they would get their office. That still kind of happens now, but it’s less common than it used to be.

**Craig:** Interesting.

**John:** They were an aspiring production company. And so I would drive over there once or twice a week. I’d pick up two scripts, take them home, read them, write up coverage, and come back in. This is pre-Internet. So I would literally print out and drive the coverage back in. Sit there while they read it and then get new scripts.

I was an unpaid intern for probably three months doing this. That was kind of standard for those times. But I got good enough at it that Laura Ziskin’s development executive said like, “Oh, you know what? I think I can get you a job writing coverage at Tristar.” So then I became an official reader over at Tristar.

There I was getting originally $50 a script. Then it became $65 a script. And that was my fulltime job. I would pick up two scripts in the morning, read them, either bring them back in that same day or the next day with the printed coverage and pick up new scripts. So I was reading 10 to 12 scripts a week. And writing up these reports. It kind of burned a whole in my brain. But it was really good experience. I read 112 scripts in that time.

It definitely gave me a sense of what I liked in screenplays and what I didn’t like in screenplays. And so we always recommend that people read screenplays that they love. But in some ways reading screenplays that you don’t love and having to read them very carefully does teach you about your taste and sort of things you never want to do on the page.

**Craig:** There’s a phenomenon that, I mean, for lack of a better phrase I’ll call it learning with your fingers, where just by typing out thoughts, your thoughts take on a more rigorous structure. And your mind starts to think of different things. If you just read a script without any responsibility for describing your feelings about it you may just think it stank. Here’s why. It was boring. You start to analyze it and suddenly you begin to see the matrix. And that is a very valuable skill. Reading scripts is a very important thing. But I actually think that writing out what you feel about them and why things worked and didn’t work, well, think with your fingers will help contribute to your growth.

**John:** It definitely helped me a lot. And I’m going to put links in the show notes to two bits of coverage I wrote during that time. These were both for Ziskin’s class. I think technically the coverage I wrote for other folks they still own the coverage, but these were for Ziskin’s class so I feel good about them.

One was I read Quentin Tarantino’s script for Natural Born Killers which was amazing. And so if you read the coverage for it it’s like I say this is genuinely amazing. And then two years later I got to write the novelization of Natural Born Killers, so it was a good bit of synchronicity there that I’d already read it and covered it.

And then another script called Sex in the ‘90s which was just a script that people liked that was in the library. So I checked it out and I read it and wrote up coverage on it. And so just to give you a sense of what coverage looks like. I took the top sheets off, but you can see what the actual synopsis and analysis looks like.

The reason why writing coverage is hard is so often as a reader you’re trying to synopsize this screenplay and make the story make sense in paragraph from in ways it kind of necessarily wouldn’t make sense. There were so many times I was reading screenplays that were just terrible where there was no coherent story, and yet I needed to be able to put paragraphs and sentences together that actually made sense to a person reading it so that they could understand beat by beat what was kind of happening.

But then in the comments I could just like actually speak clearly about sort of like this is why this is not working.

**Craig:** One of the big, well, I don’t know if it’s a secret, it’s just something fairly unspoken, is that one of the reasons it’s so important for a reader to be able to summarize the story in a way that is coherent for the person that has asked for this coverage is because that person is not going to read the script. But they are at some point going to have to sound like they did. So they’re going to need to talk to that writer and explain why they’re passing and make reference to a story they have not read. But they’ve read the coverage. So it actually is really important that the summary be accurate and coherent.

**John:** Yeah. And the ability to make that summary accurate and coherent is writing. I mean, that’s the underlying thing of all of this is like it is writing to do that stuff. It’s a little bit more journalistic writing than sort of screenplay writing, but you have to have the ability to string words together in a pleasing way in order for a person to actually read through what you’ve just written. And it’s exhausting mental work to do it. And I found it very hard to do a lot of my own writing while I was doing a lot of coverage of other people’s screenplays because you still have to do all of the mental work of stringing words together and being able to picture the movie that they’re trying to create on the page.

In many ways I found myself sort of praying that I wouldn’t get a good script on certain days because I knew I didn’t have the time to actually enjoy something and to sort of savor something. I needed to sort of keep flipping pages and getting the gist of it so that I could write that synopsis and then write the analysis. It’s not an easy job at all.

**Craig:** Well, it’s important to remember what the ultimate purpose of this job is. Nick writes in and he says, “The biggest misconception I had and I think a lot of writers have is thinking that the readers are trying to help you or your script. This is not in fact their job. When I got my first studio coverage back on a script I naively thought the reader might have suggestions for any of the flaws they found. Nope. Because fixing ain’t their job. Their job is to find scripts that their boss will like. What that is depends on the boss. The goal isn’t to find the best written scripts or the most talented writers, because if the reader keeps recommending their boss read stuff over the weekend that their boss doesn’t like their boss will get a new reader.”

**John:** Ugh, Nick is correct.

**Craig:** Relevant.

**John:** And so I would say in my time at Tristar out of 112 scripts I recommended two and I got called to the mat for both of those recommendations. And for basically like we would never make this movie or that wasn’t worth my time. And so there were other times where I would recommend like this is a good writer. You won’t want to make the script but this is a good writer. But in terms of like a, hey, you should read this thing and consider this as a movie, both of them were strikeouts.

So it really is a gatekeeper function. And here is where this conversation intersects with our #PayUpHollywood discussion is that these are entry level jobs and so often the people who are writing this coverage are assistants. They are people who are doing other jobs on top of things. And they are not being well paid for this at all. And yet there’s also a union that represents readers and story analysts at certain places. And that was actually the email that kicked this all off.

So, Hilary wrote in to say, “I just found out that script reader/story analyst is actually a union job covered by MPEG, the Motion Picture Editors Guild, with decent minimum pay rates. So given that, does anybody know why pretty much the only people doing this work in Hollywood are interns, PAs, and office assistants whose primary duties are totally unrelated and often end up doing coverage work in off hours for free despite only earning minimum wage during the day? What I mean is why didn’t the union at some point crack down on this so that production companies and studios working on features and network TV shows at the very least would have a script reader as a standalone job that gets paid for the work?” That is Hilary’s fundamental question which is a great question. So we spent the last couple of days talking with friends and others to figure out, yeah, why is it this way?

**Craig:** Yeah. So first thing to be clear about, MPEG, the Motion Picture Editors Guild, is part of IATSE, which is the big blanket union that covers all of the – I guess you could call them trade craft unions, editors, and grips, and electricians, and DPs. Pretty much everybody except for actors, writers, and directors. And so they’re divided up into all these little locals. Now you have certain jobs that don’t quite deserve their own little local union like say script readers or story analysts, so they fold them into these other unions. They stick them in places. They’re not at all editors. Zero relation. And it’s a problem because what happens is they have no real influence in their own union.

**John:** Exactly.

**Craig:** So they are in a union. They have no real influence in it. The contract that they get, well, it’s only as strong as the enforcement. The enforcement of that contract would be an extension of the will of the Motion Picture Editors Guild. I can’t imagine editors going on strike to support story analysts. You see the problem? So this is at least one of the issues, the structural issues that the readers and analysts are facing.

**John:** So, let’s talk about payment, because this is sort of the crux of her argument and I think it’s very true and people should understand from the outside what this looks like. Beatrice wrote in to say that the rates differ absurdly by company, but in general you can find that like Paradigm will pay $50 per script, which is even less than I was making at Tristar 20 years ago.

**Craig:** Geez. God.

**John:** Disney pays $125 per script. $125 sounds pretty good, but I can tell you that it is multiple hours of work to get these things done. And sometimes you’re given a book to cover or something really massive. And there might be some bumps for larger projects, but $125 – it’s tough to make a living at $125 per script if you’re trying to do good coverage which you need to be doing good coverage or they’re not going to keep hiring you on to be writing coverage for them.

So, compare that to the folks who do actually have one of these union gigs, so for a union reader right now the rate card says for the first six months of employment as a reader you get $38.61 per hour which works out to $1,544 per week. For the next 12 months after that you get bumped up to $41 an hour. Then after 55 months you get $46.42 per hour. So, in that top tier you’re making $96,000 a year. That’s better. That’s certainly a livable wage. But you’ve been working for a long time as a professional doing this job to get to that highest point. I don’t want to sort of argue about whether these union readers should be paid more. I think what’s important to be focused on is that so many people doing this job are not union readers, are not making anywhere near the minimums that the folks who are union readers are making.

**Craig:** Yeah. So we’re not going to try and negotiate a new contract on behalf of the Motion Picture Editors Guild for their script readers and story analysts. One thing we can do at least is publicize when we do get information about how little a particular place spends on nonunion readers like Paradigm. So Paradigm, if this is true, if Paradigm pays $50 per script coverage then no one’s script is being well covered at Paradigm. That’s just not possible. It’s just not. You can’t have a wage like that which means basically people are just going to be covering a whole lot of scripts to get a reasonable amount of money. You get what you pay for generally in the world. So, FYI, Paradigm, boo.

**John:** Yeah. And I should say that’s assuming the $50 is for doing the kind of coverage that I’m talking about. If $50 is to write just like two paragraphs of comments on something, that may be a different conversation. But it is that synopsis that honestly kills you doing coverage.

**Craig:** Well, one solution generally to these kinds of problems is to try and organize people into the union. The Writers Guild works at this with varying degrees of success, but the notion is, OK, we found a place where there’s writers who are not working under a WGA contract. Let’s convince the company to get them under a WGA contract. But that simple solution doesn’t seem to be available.

Kevin writes in and he says, “I was a freelancer for many years getting paid piecemeal and cramming in as many scripts as possible,” meaning as a reader, “usually over the course of a Friday to Monday weekend read. Then Paramount acquired DreamWorks and suddenly our entire department was a union shop. To be precise, we occupy a niche of a niche within IATSE as a subdivision of MPEG Local 700. We are story analysts Local 700 S. Why are we attached to the editors? Your guess is as good as mine. And why are all the shops that should be union not necessarily union? Again, I can only throw up my hands.”

And get ready for this. “However, this simple solution of organizing people into the union doesn’t appear to be available in this case.”

We got an email from someone calling themselves Tip Tipster. I don’t think that’s their real name.

**John:** It would be great if it were though.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Like Tip O’Neil.

**Craig:** Well Tip Tipster, like the Tipster family is known for this, and so they–

**John:** Yeah, they’re drinkers, but otherwise lovely.

**Craig:** In an endless feud with the Whistleblowers next door. Tip Tipster writes, “There is a union for readers,” as we’ve discussed. “This union consists of about 80 to 90 readers. This union does what most unions seem to do. Get its members fair wages, benefits, etc. And they seem to do a good job of it. Here’s the kicker about this union. They won’t let in any new readers unless someone in the union retires. Why? Because they want to make sure every reader is working before letting in new members. On the surface I can see why this kind of makes sense, but I don’t know any other union that actually operates this way. WGA? No. Editors Guild? No. DGA, SAG? No. No. Those are all based on whether you have proven you have the craft for those guilds and have been hired by a company that can only hire from those guilds.

“Guilds like the WGA, SAG, etc. work because everyone with that craft who has proven their worth bands together and tells their would-be employers that if you want quality work you have to hire from these guilds and abide by these standards.”

If this is true, it is an enormous problem. The union in its desire to protect its base of union workers is probably participating in creating the very problem that they’re designed to solve.

**John:** Yeah. So we reached out to Holly Sklar, who is part of the MPEG and represents union readers, and so she gave us a lot of information about sort of what they’re doing and sort of how it all works. We’re also going to include a link to they have events where they sort of do talk about sort of union reader issues and reader issues in general.

But, yeah, it is a thing. So she gave us some background on sort of why it came to be this way. So here is what she says. “In the late 1930s/early 1940s story analysts at the major studios organized and were successful in unionizing story analyst jobs at those companies. In the ensuing years a few more large companies signed onto the union agreement. For example, Amblin Partners. Current signatories who are contract are Sony, MGM, Warner Bros. Pictures, Paramount, Walt Disney, Universal, Focus, Amblin, CBS TV, and 20th Century Studios, which used to be Fox, which although part of Disney maintains its own story department. Though we had our own IATSE Local for many years, our branch of the IATSE has been part of Local 700, the Motion Picture Editors Guild, since 2000.

“We would love to have more companies become signatory and make the majority of story analyst jobs union jobs or for most companies who start employing story analysts to become signatory.”

So, she goes on to say that just like with assistants, nonunion freelance story analyst rates are stuck in the mid-90s. That’s when I was working as that. And freelancers are paid per piece. There’s no sick time. No guaranteed weekly hours. They’re typically juggling several clients at once.

So, yes, it’s a two-tiered messed up system and something needs to change. I think my instinct about sort of why it’s not changing on the union side is it’s what you said. The Editors Guild is not going to go on strike to get story analysts covered. And they’re having a hard time enforcing the rule that like this story analyst job has to be done only union story analysts because it’s just become habit for assistants and other people to be doing exactly that work. So that’s the challenge.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, look at the nature of the business where we have five, six, seven studios. We have multiple networks. We have multiple talent agencies. We have many multiple management companies. There is an enormous need for scripts to be read and covered by story readers and analysts. The amount of work that is required is so vastly more than the amount that 90 people could do. The union at that point understands inherently that they can’t control this work space, not with the amount of members they have.

So, it is a tricky part. One of the dangers of being in a union in 2020 America, which is not friendly to unions, certainly not in the way this country used to be friendly to unions back in the days, is that if you expand you continue to find new beach heads where the worker’s situation is more perilous and they have less leverage. And in those situations you are constantly lowering the floor for all members.

On the other hand if you try and preserve what you have on small islands, that’s what you end up with. Islands. And the islands will shrink, and shrink, and shrink until they’re gone.

**John:** So here’s one path forward. I would say this next year will be really interesting to see what happens because these readers who are not fulltime employees, there’s assistants who do reading for companies and I’m not really talking about them, but there’s also folks like I was who I was just an independent contractor. I was just a guy who was being paid per-piece, per-thing I was reading and being paid as an independent contractor.

Well in California AB5 which is this new law that went into effect that is really designed to sort of take a look at Uber and Lyft drivers and how they’re paid and really treating them like employees, well, that could arguably be applied to these freelance readers who are really working like employees at the companies but are not being treated as employees. And so it will be interesting to see whether in seeing AB5 being implemented more of these companies start saying like, oh, you know what, we really can’t legally be outsourcing this job. We need to take it in house. If they do take more of those reader jobs in house then that’s an opportunity to organize those readers.

So, it’s a tension there, too, because they don’t want those readers to organize, but that is a thing that’s going to be helpful.

**Craig:** What we can do, you and I, and everybody together in the meantime is a little bit like what we did with the assistants. Because the assistants aren’t in a union at all. Basically what we can say is let’s start talking to readers, particularly readers who believe they’re not being treated fairly. We’d like to hear from you. And we would like to hear how much you’re being paid. And if there are abuses. And we want to know who is behaving well and who is behaving poorly. And we start to use our small modest instrument of shame to ask businesses in this allegedly progressive community to treat working people fairly.

**John:** Yeah. That’s all we do is nudge. We gather and then we nudge.

**Craig:** Gather and nudge.

**John:** Yep. So if you are a reader working at a company, so if you’re an assistant who reads and does coverage, sure, write in about that. And if it’s just part of your normal job and you’re not being paid extra for it, sure, tell us about that. But if you are a person who makes your living as a reader either fulltime, part-time, or it is a big thing that you do, we’re curious how much you’re getting paid and sort of what your conditions are like. If there’s ways we can sort of organize this data just to sort of see the range of what pay is like. That could be useful if nothing else so that the next time you are going out for a job you can say like, “You know what? I’m not going to take this as a minimum. It has to be this rate because this is what I’m worth.” That could be helpful.

**Craig:** Yeah. And if you’re doing a good job and people keep coming back to you over and over, start to see if you can’t move that ball forward. The more we can get general rates up, well, rising tide and all that. But, listen, easier said than done. We’re also aware that a lot of these companies can easily point to truthfully a file of resumes of people that are begging for these jobs, because that’s the nature of the business we’re in. And then it’s incumbent upon us to point out that if you just give those jobs to any of those people in that folder, well, that’s not going to work well for you because the nightmare – I like talking about nightmares – the nightmare of the boss of the assistant is that the disgruntled assistant just, you know, spills all your stuff out there into the world.

The nightmare of the boss who is employing readers and analysts is that they’re going to get some coverage that says this script stank, I hate it, don’t both, and they’ll go, “Great, one less thing for me to do on a weekend.” And then a week later it sells for $5 million and Brad Pitt is attached and Rian Johnson is directing it. And their boss is calling saying, “What? Why weren’t we in on that?”

“Well, you see, I saved $70.” Good luck. That’s the nightmare. So we have to recognize that there actually is value, great value, in what these people are doing. And we have to leverage our collective shaming and nudging so that they are treated better.

**John:** Exactly. All right. So write in with that stuff, and also in the show notes I’ll put a link to what Holly Sklar sent in in terms of what the MPEG Local actually does and an article about sort of the early history of story analysts, because if you think about it it is just a job we had to invent. Because there’s not really – I guess there probably was some kind of Broadway equivalent, but we just had to industrialize this job in a way that would never have existed before. And so the early history of it is I think interesting as well.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Cool. Let’s answer one listener question.

**Craig:** OK.

**John:** Monica wrote in to ask, “Hi John and Craig. I’m happy to say that my very first If-Come deal is in the works for a pilot I wrote.” I’m going to stop here and define what an If-Come deal is.

If-Come deal means that the studio/producer has agreed to pay you to write this thing if they can find a distributor for it. So if they can sell it to a network, sell it to a place that will actually put it on the air or put it on streams. So it’s a very classic situation. I’m in an if-come deal on a project right now. So, if-come means that we will pay you if we can find a home for it.

**Craig:** Yeah. I never understood, this is my whole thing about pay-or-play. It should be pay-and-play. You know, I’ve never understood that phrase pay-or-play. It implies an option where specifically the point is there isn’t one. And if-come is strange. What’s the come about?

**John:** I don’t know. We can probably Google it, but we’re going to revel in our ignorance.

**Craig:** Already I’m like someone is just taking the line of me saying, “What’s the come about,” and it’s going to be an outro. So, yeah. You know what? Do it.

**John:** James Launch, Jim Bond, do it. Monica continues, “My agent, a WGA code of conduct signatory, noticed a provision in the deal that he didn’t like and I’d like to ask you about it. Under the lock provision I will be locked for two years only if I get sole credit on the pilot. With shared credit I am not locked at all. My agent is wary of this for fear of me not being able to work as a writer on my own show should it ever come to exist. Now I’m trying to decide if I want to continue with this deal with the possibility of being bumped off my own show should it get made if I am rewritten and not wanted by a hypothetical future studio. Or, I could not take the deal and hope to find another production company to work with.

“My question to you is how common is this provision and is this something I should be worried about?”

Monica, so I don’t think you should be especially worried. I think it’s good that your agent is pointing this out and making it clear to you this is a thing that could happen. Is there a chance you could get rewritten? Yeah. Is there a chance that some person could come in and take stuff over and do stuff that’s going to be unhappy? Yeah. But I don’t think that necessarily this provision is as unusual as your agent may be presenting it as. I think it’s kind of a reasonable thing that a studio could be putting in here because they don’t know if you can actually run a show or navigate this process of getting the show from idea to pilot to a show on the air.

So, I’m not as worried about this as your agent is. Craig, how are you feeling about what she’s written in?

**Craig:** Well, I’m with you. I understand why the agent is worried. There are frequent situations where networks will agree to bring on a pilot for development because they love the idea and maybe they think it’s going to appeal to a particular actor that they want to be in business with. But they will routinely pair inexperienced showrunners with experienced showrunners. And the question then is, well, as you put it the fear of me not being able to work as a writer on my own show. Yeah, that does happen. So with shared credit you’re not locked at all. That’s because their presumption is if you’re sharing credit then the other person did enough where it’s really about the other person.

So, the only thing I think you can do is maybe try and build in a little bit of a penalty where you’re saying, OK, I understand. Shared credit, not locked, but if I’m not locked and I get shared credit you do have to pay me blankety-blank as a little penalty fee for me not being locked in.

You can always try and get something like that. Do I think you should hold out and see if you can find somebody else that would just lock you in? I don’t think that. Because by and large if it’s your very first deal, and it is in this case–

**John:** That’s what you’re saying.

**Craig:** You’re going to hear a lot of this. I don’t think you’re going to get too many people saying, “Yeah, we’re all in on you, even though you’ve never done this before.”

**John:** Yeah. My advice is take the win. Do everything you can to stay on that show and to be able to deliver the thing that they desperately want to make. It’s going to be hard, hard work and you’re going to be just pulling your hair out at times because TV process is maddening. But try to stay on that show. And if someone comes in to work with you or to rewrite you, accept that that’s a thing that may also happen. If at some point you don’t get sole credit and it really looks like they are trying to push you off the show, that could happen. And if that does happen, accept the loss of that. But don’t go overboard pre-coping with that situation.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Really focus on just making the most awesome show and then setting up the next show and the next show. Because having set up this first deal you have some momentum. Work on the next thing. Work on the next thing. Get stuff going.

**Craig:** Yep. I completely agree.

**John:** Cool. All right. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is a listener wrote in with a really great blog post here. Anna Marie Cruz wrote Ten Things Secret Hitler Taught Me About Being a Liberal Post-11/9. So it’s really sort of what she took from the game Secret Hitler, which is a really terrific game that I helped do the Kickstarter for, and in playing the game you play either the liberals or the Nazis. But there’s secret information and there’s stuff that happens. I really enjoy the game. It is kind of a friendship ruiner. I wouldn’t necessarily play it with people you necessarily want to stay close with.

But the lessons she took from it I think are actually really helpful in this moment that we’re living in right now which is that the liberals have to really act together and be sort of generous in their assumptions with each other or else the fascists win. It’s just what sort of happens in that game inevitably. And she has really good observations along the way about the importance of truth-telling and the importance of sort of really accepting what is rather than what you wish could be. So, I’d just point you to this blog post.

**Craig:** Well I don’t know if this is that timely. I mean, the notion of people on the left attacking each other. [laughs] What’s the relevance, man?

**John:** I mean, it’s just out there in a general sense.

**Craig:** Got it.

**John:** This could be this year, next year, ten years ago. Really it’s all the same. There’s nothing special about this moment that we’re in right now where the left is at an agitated state. Nothing like that at all.

**Craig:** My sweet lord. Well, that’s brilliant. I’ve actually never played Secret Hitler. Is it like Mafia or–?

**John:** It’s like Mafia or Werewolf, but here’s the innovations that Max Temkin the creator was able to bring to it was that it’s the same people who do Cards Against Humanity. What they were able to do is build these mechanics where you have to pass these laws. And sometimes passing these laws will help you get information who were actually the Nazis, but in doing so you actually kind of give them some power, too. And so the Nazis have more information than you have. So it’s very cleverly set up and balanced. But because you’re lying all the time you run into a lot of Amanda Peet situations where – sorry, that’s a very specific reference to playing Werewolf with Amanda Peet. Was it Mafia we played with them?

**Craig:** Yeah, Mafia.

**John:** Yeah. When you have talented actors lying it can be stressful.

**Craig:** I normally play Mafia with actors. Like I’ll play Mafia with Natasha Lyonne and Clea DuVall. It’s hard. It’s hard.

**John:** It’s hard.

**Craig:** They’re good actors.

**John:** Well, Craig, you are also – people who may not know this – you are a very, very good leader of Mafia. You’re a very good game master of Mafia. I know your aspiration is to quit the industry and just play D&D. But, as a side gig you could be a Mafia leader.

**Craig:** I do enjoy it. It’s fun. Melanie Lynskey, also–

**John:** Oh, so good. I’m sure.

**Craig:** Because she’s so sweet, you don’t realize. You just don’t realize. It is fun – partly I think being a DM does help you run a Mafia game because you realize part of your job is to actually be entertaining and not just shepherd people through this process, but try and keep it light so that people don’t tear their throats out.

Anyway, this sounds great. I’m going to totally play this.

**John:** I have one. So at some point we’ll have you over and we’ll get together a group of friends and it will get really contentious.

**Craig:** Brilliant. I love that. Can’t do it with Melissa. Can’t.

**John:** And Mike will never play it again. So it’ll have to be other folks.

**Craig:** Perfect. There you go. This game, of course, the major investors were divorce lawyers.

My One Cool Thing is a new game for all of your mobile platforms. There’s an outfit called Glitch Games. I love a good escape game, a little point and click puzzler. But Glitch Games, they have really good ones. And they have a new one out called Veritas. I haven’t finished it yet. I think I’m only on chapter two. But it’s as well done as all of theirs. The artwork is kind of gorgeous and the puzzles are very clever. And it’s a fun time.

So if you’re like me and you like those sorts of things check out Veritas. It is available on, oh, the app store for your regular computer or, you know, your mobile, or Google Play, or Steam.

**John:** All of them.

**Craig:** Or whatever the hell Itch IO is.

**John:** Yeah, Itch-IO.

**Craig:** Itch-IO. It’s available on Amazon apps. I didn’t even know they had these things.

**John:** If you are a Premium member stick around because Craig and I will talk about baldness, but otherwise that’s the end of our show. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by James Launch and Jim Bond. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find links to some of the things we talked about on the show today. We have transcripts on the site, they go up within the week of the episode airing.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments. Craig, thanks for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** Craig, all right, so just before we started recording we decided that baldness would be our topic because you and I are experts on many things, but we are also experts on losing hair.

**Craig:** Yeah. You know what? People don’t talk about it enough.

**John:** Yeah, let’s talk about it more. When did you start losing your hair?

**Craig:** I think probably my best guess is college at some point. I think I was in the rain, New Jersey, what a shock, it was raining. And it was like when my hair got wet suddenly it was like, oh, there’s less of it. It was like one of the first times I think I noticed. So I was about, let’s call it 19.

**John:** I was a little younger. I was probably 16, 17. So I was in high school and I was in my French class. And Thuy Westlake, this gorgeous woman who was a year older than me, she was like coming back from – she had just taken her French class up to the front and was coming back to sit in her seat. So she was standing over me and she’s like, “You’re losing your hair.” And she sat down in her seat.

**Craig:** Jesus.

**John:** And I’m like, what? What?

**Craig:** Thuy? Her name was Thuy?

**John:** Yeah. Thuy.

**Craig:** Thuy, they don’t know, do they?

**John:** But she spoke the truth. She spoke absolute truth.

**Craig:** True, but it was just a little harsh.

**John:** It was a little harsh. And so I got a little bit nervous about that right from that moment on. Where I realized like, oh yeah, you know what? This is true. And then through college I just lost more and more of it. So, when did you come to terms with it? When was the first moment you realized like, oh, yeah, I’m not going to have hair on the top of my head at a certain point?

**Craig:** I don’t know. I just sort of – I remember I was probably 30. And my doctor, I had a physical and my doctor said do you want anything for your hair. Because they have, you know, whatever – Rogaine. Rogaine and the other stuff.

**John:** Rogaine is a Minoxidil, I guess is the actual name of the drug.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And then there’s Propecia which is a pill.

**Craig:** Propecia, right. So, I said, um, no. [laughs] I just thought to myself, no, I actually don’t think hair is super-duper important to me. You know?

**John:** And at this point you had already been married for years?

**Craig:** Yeah. I’d been married for about five years.

**John:** So I was losing my hair much more rapidly in my early 20s. And it was much more in the baseball hat kind of mode. And I was cutting my hair shorter at times, but I was still cutting my hair. And at a certain point, the second year of grad school, I was like you know what, screw it, I’m just going to buzz it all off.

And so I was at my friend Ashley’s house. She was having sort of a white trash party to watch the Miss America pageant and eat fried foods. So I had my friend Tom use his little shaver and shaved my head. And it was just so jarring that next week. If I saw my reflection in the mirror I would be startled because I would not recognize myself just to see the shaved bald head. But it was the right choice. Wow, it was the right choice because it’s just been good to not have to worry about not having hair in the moments since then.

**Craig:** Yea. I’ve never done the full shave down. I still get a haircut because I have plenty of hair on the sides and the back. Because I don’t know, mostly I think Melissa was like, “Nah, I don’t want that.” So, OK, you got it. You got it, kiddo. And I get a beard trim. But shampooing is – like my hair, I’ll shampoo the back and the sides and stuff. But when you get out of the shower I basically rub the towel on my head like, whoop, and I’m done.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That’s it. It’s dry. Yay.

**John:** It’s dry. So I had tried Minoxidil and it did nothing for me, or Rogaine. I didn’t notice it. And it was expensive at the time and I was broke. But my doctor did put me on Propecia, which so the pros and cons of Propecia. People say it sort of like locks in the hair you have. And it’s sort of been my experience. So I still have the same amount of hair that I had when I was 25. So, I still take it because my doctor said don’t stop taking it because it’s actually good for you kind of overall. So I’m like, fine, it’s cheap.

But so I still have the peach fuzz. And so I have to sort of – Mike my husband buzzes the peach fuzz, what I have left of my hair on my head, every seven to ten days. And it’s fine.

So, I think I was much more worried about losing my hair than actually once I had shaved my head kind of concerned about it. It was such a relief to have one less thing to think about.

**Craig:** Well, look, when you lose your hair as a man, and typically we do lose it – I mean, you lost it probably on the earliest side of losing. Well, I do remember there was a kid in school, I think he was 15 maybe, and he was like already pretty much like comb-over kind of territory. And so it’s traumatic to an extent because you know you’re supposed to look a certain way and you’re supposed to attract certain people. And you’re generally told that like, oh, bald guys, blech. You know, it’s hard.

And you don’t realize that actually a lot of people don’t care, or find it just as attractive, or more so. It’s kind of a masculine sort of vibe, which is nice. But it does impact a lot of people. And you know there’s a lot of psychological trauma around it because there’s a multibillion dollar industry that’s there to fix it one way or another.

**John:** It’s important to note that, yes, it’s considered OK for men to be bald. So like Jean-Luc Picard, even in the future, is bald. But when women don’t have hair it is notable. And so Ayanna Pressley a few weeks ago a few weeks ago posted she had alopecia and suddenly lost all of her hair. And here’s a congressional representative who had really fantastic hair and she was sort of known for her hair and suddenly going bald and sort of talking about how traumatic it was to go through that.

But then you just sort of – you kind of find power in claiming your identity that way.

**Craig:** Although there are better wig options. I mean, wigs work better for men than toupees work for men in general because wigs are long, or they can be long, or they can frame the face in a certain way. So, generally speaking like the general world of what we would call a feminine hairstyle it’s more wigable. The short kind of male hairstyle just tends to look like hair hat.

**John:** Now, Craig, if there were a simple treatment that would give you full normal hair again, would you have full normal hair?

**Craig:** Without any kind of like crazy–?

**John:** No side effect.

**Craig:** I think I would. And the only reason I say that is just because as time goes on the sun – there are two problems. It’s the sun and then heaters in restaurants.

**John:** Yes!

**Craig:** Two things that kill me.

**John:** People don’t talk enough about that. Yes.

**Craig:** So the sun is beating down directly on you when it is at its brightest and hottest. And when you don’t have hair, well, you feel it. You feel lit. And it will fry your scalp. So that’s a bummer. And then restaurants when they put the heaters on I have to do my best to get as far away from them as possible.

**John:** Yeah, because it burns.

**Craig:** It burns. Your scalp starts to burn. So, for those two reasons I guess I would say yeah. What about you?

**John:** I would do it just because I’m really curious what it would be like to have hair again. Because sometimes in dreams I will have hair and it’s exciting to actually be able to do stuff with hair and move stuff around. I’m sure I would find it annoying to actually have to think about it and have to brush it and comb it and wash it and do all that stuff, which I don’t have to do right now.

One perk I will say. Having been shaved, my head, this level for 20 years is that it’s harder for people to peg my age because of it because I sort of kind of look the same all this time. Like if you look back at photos from me 20 years ago or 10 years ago I don’t look vastly different, which is kind of nice.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And so sometimes people meeting me think I’m younger than I am because I have fewer visible age markers because I don’t have grey hair. I don’t have other things to look for.

**Craig:** Exactly. So, my hair-hair that I do have on my head isn’t really, I don’t think it’s salt-and-peppering much at all. But any man’s beard–

**John:** Your beard.

**Craig:** So it’s like a classic thing. Once you kind of hit 40 your beard will get a very specific graying pattern. Every guy has it. That’s roughly our age. So it is a great indicator of age. So, yeah, you know, I mean, I guess mostly just for practical reasons. There’s no vanity attached to it at all.

By the way, maybe partly the reason I had no vanity attached to my hair is because I never had good hair.

**John:** Yeah, I never had good hair.

**Craig:** Like my hair was always destined to go away. Like it didn’t want to be there.

**John:** I had really thin hair. Like the actual quality of my hair itself was sort of thin and wispy and never great.

**Craig:** Oh yeah. I mean, the fact is having grown up with hair and then having lost my hair, I’m pretty good. Like if I see kids, even kids, but very like, maybe a freshman in high school, I know. I’m like, OK, you’re not going to have your hair. You’re not going to have your hair. I can just see it. You just know. It’s a certain kind of hair.

**John:** It’s all right.

**Craig:** It’s all right, man. It’s cool.

**John:** It’s all right.

**Craig:** It’s all right. Yeah.

**John:** Craig, thanks.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

**John:** Bye.

 

Links:

* [Craig to write ‘The Last of Us’ series](https://variety.com/2020/tv/news/the-last-of-us-series-hbo-craig-mazin-neil-druckmann-1203524989/)
* Learn more on taking generals in [Scriptnotes, Ep 439](https://johnaugust.com/2020/how-to-grow-old-as-a-writer)
* Assistants, past or present, please write into ask@johnaugust.com with tips employers should consider and advice for assistants starting out!
* John’s coverage for [Natural Born Killers](https://johnaugust.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Natural-Born-Killers.pdf) and [Sex in the Nineties](https://johnaugust.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Sex-in-the-Nineties.pdf)
* [How Story Analysts from Hollywood’s Golden Age Helped Build Movies, and a Lasting Labor Movement](https://cinemontage.org/how-story-analysts-from-hollywoods-golden-age-helped-build-movies-and-a-lasting-labor-movement/) by Holly Sklar
* [AB 5](https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2020-02-14/la-fi-california-independent-contractor-small-business-ab5) in LA Times
* From listener, Anna Marie Cruz, [Ten Things Secret Hitler Taught Me About Being A Liberal](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ten-things-secret-hitler-taught-me-about-being-a-liberal_b_58745389e4b0a5e600a78e4a)
* [Veritas](https://glitch.games/veritas-out-now/) by Glitch Games
* Sign up for Scriptnotes Premium [here](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/).
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Jim Bond and James Llonch ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/441standard.mp3).

 

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