John August

Words on the page

Can you include emotion in character description?

QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI’ve been following your screenwriting posts since the IMDB days, but I’ve been unable to find anything on this, maybe because it’s such a grey area.

Is it considered a faux pas to use emotion in the description of a character? Right now, I’ve written “His uncomplicated features might easily reveal fear,” but will that scream Oblivious Rookie should I be lucky enough for my screenplay to end up in the hands of a reader?

— John
Toronto

It’s fine to refer to either the emotions the character is experiencing at the moment we meet him, or his general emotional makeup. Anything you can do to help paint a distinct portrait of who the character is will help.

Her braces-bound teeth biting into her lip, CASSIE FINWELL (19) silently swoons as Mr. Gleeson pulls off his sweater, in the process revealing a glimpse of his navel.

CLARK CLEMMONS (27) is the happiest man in Eugene -- just like it says on his t-shirt. He’s also a serial arsonist, but doesn’t advertise that fact.

Desperate punchlines

Words on the page

Jane Espenson [hates that McDonald’s commercial](http://www.janeespenson.com/archives/00000612.php) because it’s trying too hard:

> [Our showrunner] told us not to put the funniest word at the end of the line, but to make sure the line continued past it. This seemed to me to go against one of the basic principals of joke writing, but now I see the value in it. He wanted casual, easy, “thrown away” funny, not needy rim-shot comedy, begging for laughs by hitting every comedy-made-easy rule.

And yes, I’ll probably keep linking to each and every new Jane post. She writes so well about the details and why they matter.

What’s real, then what’s funny

QandA, Words on the page

Jane Espenson [makes the case](http://www.janeespenson.com/archives/00000608.php) for finding the essence before writing the jokes:

> I guarantee you that they did not start working on the latest episode by thinking of funny things that could happen in a pottery class. They started by thinking about their characters, what they believe, and where they’re weakest.

> Find your characters’ vulnerable spots and poke them and you’ll find a story. The idea that Jeff was over-praised as a child, resulting in a self-image that needs correction is not hilarious. It’s grounded and real — which allows for more license when writing the jokes.

When two characters are played by the same actor

Formatting, Projects, QandA, The Nines, Words on the page

questionmarkIf a main part of a plot is that two characters look identical (but are not related…think the movie “Dave”), where/how in the script do I say they should be played by the same actor?

— Jeremy Kerr

As a general screenwriting rule, if it would be obvious to the viewer, make it obvious to the reader. Immediately after introducing the second character, include a hard-to-miss note explaining that the two characters are played by one actor.

PROFESSOR DONALD SCOTT isn’t your classic tweedy bookworm. With a short temper and a strong right hook, he’s more likely to settle arguments in back alleys than lecture halls.

[NOTE: Donald Scott and Thom Penn aren’t twins, but are played by the same actor -- for reasons that will soon become clear.]

In the case of The Nines, a huge conceit was that the nine principal roles were played by three actors. I added a note just after the title page, so there was no chance a reader would miss it:

nines note