John August

Words on the page

Are parentheticals over-used?

QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkYou often hear you shouldn’t use parentheticals for things other than acting directions (“surprised”, “relieved”, etc… And even use those sparingly).

What’s the accepted tolerance for parentheticals for actions such as:

MINDY

(raising her glass)

I wish to say a few words...

or

JÜRGEN

Wait!

(signaling for the soldiers to stop)

She has the detonator!

Is this a big no-no? A small no-no? Can you get away with it once or twice in a script, if you want to shave off a few lines from a page? Or does it reek of the amateur screenwriter?

— Liam
Paris

I’ve used parentheticals in situations similar to both your examples, though I’m more likely to break those lines out as scene description:

Raising her glass --

MINDY

I wish to say a few words...

But as I’ve [written about before](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2003/using-parentheticals), there are other situations in which parentheticals make sense, and using them smartly can both trim pages and improve the read. It’s all to your taste and style.

You’ll find A-list screenwriters who write five-line parentheticals and others who eschew them altogether. (Anything you do in a parenthetical could theoretically be accomplished in scene description.)

Read a lot of screenplays and find a style you like. For example, you may find yourself emulating writers who use parentheticals for as-if situations…

TARA

(“damn it!”)

Puppetfuzz!

…or to establish the pacing on a joke. Try it and see what works.

Like CUT TO:’s and sluglines, the use of parentheticals comes down to personal preference. As long as you are consistent and engaging, readers are unlikely to object.

Angles, spacing and monikers

Formatting, QandA, Television, Words on the page

questionmarkThree quick questions:

(a) I was reading over a pilot example, and I saw a lot of angle descriptions, camera descriptions, etc. I thought that was a big no-no: don’t describe angles or try to “direct” via your script. Is that less a concern these days? Or less a concern when writing for TV than film?

(b) Ditto the spacing. I was under the impression that TV scripts had to be double-spaced, all dialogue in caps, etc. Is that not true for pilots?

(c) There is already a writer working on film/TV with my name (Joshua Siegal). I’m thinking of going with J. Howard Siegal. Do I need to get registered with the writer’s guild and such with that name? Is it a good/bad idea to find a unique name to write under?

— Josh

(a) Some screenwriters refer to the camera a lot. It’s not wrong, but it can annoy directors. I try to avoid mentioning angles and camera movements unless it’s very important. As an alternative, I use “we” —

RISING THROUGH THE CHIMNEY, we reveal Kruchkov.

He pulls the pin on a grenade. Drops it with a smile.

— and you should know that some people hate “we.” I think it reads better, but to each his own.

(b) The only way to know how a show is formatted is to read an actual script from the series. Single-camera TV shows are generally formatted like feature films, single-space. Multi-camera shows (sitcoms) are double-space. But there are exceptions, so never assume.

(c) Screenwriter names are not regulated the way actor names are, but yes, it’s a good idea to have a unique moniker. For example, there is already another [aspiring John August](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2004/my-namesake-also-a-screenwriter).

Stressing out in dialogue

Formatting, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI was just wondering how to indicate that a character is stressing a certain word in the dialog. I’ve thought about using capitalization but I’m not sure that’s the proper way, as I’ve also seen quotation marks used to similar effect. If you had any advice on which method you use, that would be more appreciated.

— Mike Morin
Portsmouth, Rhode Island

Underline. But remember, in most cases, you needed and shouldn’t give a specific line reading for any piece of dialogue. If a scene is working, readers (and actors) will naturally fall into the right tone.

But if you have a line that only makes sense one way — and it’s not the first way someone would read it — you have a couple of choices:

Set it up in stage direction:

Through clenched teeth --

MARGARET

I’d delighted.

Use a parenthetical:

CORBIN

(condescending)

I’m sure you’ll improve.

Underline the word or words that need to be stressed:

XANDER

I’m not not saying he wasn’t a Bugwath demon but if he was — or wasn’t, I confused myself there — either way he was surly. And oddly cat-phobic. Now can we get back to the part where the whole world goes boom at midnight?

You’ll occasionally see italics in dialogue (often for foreign languages). A few screenwriters use boldface or uppercase in dialogue. I’ve never seen the need.

Quotation marks should be reserved for moments that a character might make “air quotes” around something they’re saying. The misuse of quotation marks is a scourge of modern English.

Writing better dialogue

Scriptcast, Words on the page

(You may prefer to watch it full-screen, or HD on Vimeo.)

I’ve been promising readers that I’d do more of these screenwriting scriptcasts. And I will. Today’s is nominally about dialogue, but I ended up switching a lot of stuff around in the scene in order to accommodate new — and reduced — dialogue.

Since this scene is much longer than most of these scriptcasts, I’m including before and after versions after the jump.
[Read more…] about Writing better dialogue