John August

Words on the page

Can my script be as short as Somewhere?

Film Industry, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkA few months ago, I downloaded the PDF version of Sofia Coppola’s “Somewhere” screenplay from the Focus Features website. When I saw that it was only a 44 page download, I had assumed that it was either a teaser or a short version of the script.

An hour later after reading it, and then going to the theater, I had realized that the 44-pager that I had downloaded was indeed the real thing. Even now, after owning the DVD, I’m amazed that she managed to turn a 43-44 page script into a 97 min movie.

As a screenwriter, with no aspirations of getting behind the camera, how hard is it, or would it be to sell a spec script, that could possibly be a 100-110 min movie, but only a 65-70 page script? Understanding that execution is key, is it even possible to get your screenplay looked at, with it being so short?

— Craig
DC

answer iconNo one would take you seriously.

With Somewhere, Sofia Coppola had already made three well-received and languorously-paced features. So a producer or studio can read her very short script with the expectation that (a) not very much will happen, and (b) what does happen will take a while. So 44 pages feels less crazy than it otherwise would.

Coppola has her style and her fans. I’m one of them. But without her credits, there’s no way that the Somewhere script would make sense in a spec situation. You have to understand her as a filmmaker when reading it.

Almost all feature scripts are over 100 pages. ((Animation is often shorter; Corpse Bride is 67 pages.)) The only live-action screenplay I ever turned in that was shorter was the rewrite of a yet-unproduced fable with giant set pieces. It was 91 pages, but if/when it gets made, I think it will still be a nearly two-hour movie. Describing those set pieces in the script took a lot less page length than the corresponding time in the movie. (e.g. Gone with the Wind: “Atlanta burns.”)

Fucking pilots

Rant, Television, Words on the page

I’m reading more network pilot scripts this year than in years past, so I can’t say whether this is a new trend or just something I was unaware of:

**What’s with all the swearing?**

These are network pilots, not HBO or even basic cable. You can’t say shit or fuck in any combination. But characters in several pilots say both of these words a lot — at least in the drafts I read.

What gives? Why write words you can’t say?

I know some shows have a house style where the scene description is loaded up with a lot of profanity to give it texture:

Wallace turns to see --

THE BIGGEST FUCKING MONSTER ever. Seriously, this thing eats Girl Scouts and shits Trefoils.

That’s fine. It’s amusing for the staff and crew, and makes for a better read.

But I don’t understand the instinct to use never-okay swearing in dialogue. You’re going to have to replace it later, and you’ve made your job more difficult by setting up a dialogue structure that seems to demand a certain word. It’s going to sound wrong to everyone who has read the dirty version.

On D.C., I chastised a writing team for doing this. Now I see bona fide showrunners doing it. And I’m stumped.

Never can say goodbye

Video, Words on the page

Movie characters hang up the phone earlier than actual people would.

I’m not sure this is wrong, per se. Movie dialogue in general is a heightened, optimized version of how real people talk. In many of these examples, adding a last goodbye would feel odd.

As the last few examples show, “thanks” has become an acceptable closer word in English. And “love you/love you too” often serves as a final couplet.

Still, I’ll be hyper-aware of phone calls both real and written for at least the rest of the week.

Pardon the interruption

QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkHow do you write dialogue of one character interrupting another mid-sentence? I’ve seen it as (interrupting) next to the characters name, I’ve seen it below the name and I’ve seen it in the dialogue itself.

— Craig
Los Angeles

You have several choices. Use whichever one works best for the situation.

Truncating the first speaker’s line with double dashes (or an ellipsis) is common:

MATT

I simply can’t tell you how honored we are --

SUSAN

Swellingly!

MATT

Yes. We’re swollen with honor.

A parenthetical (interrupting) may be needed if it’s otherwise unclear that the second speaker is changing topics:

BAIN

No ship has ever navigated a subatomic fissure that size.

LUBOV

Then we’ll be the first. Ensign, bring us about, engines at fifty...

PINCHOT

(interrupting)

Plasma fragment! Dead ahead!

It’s also common for action to interrupt dialogue:

GIDEON

The Great Pigeon Army will never be defeated! Our dirty wings shall fill the sky, and our excrement stain the land!

A red laser light -- a sniper’s aim -- glows on Gideon’s feathered chest. His compatriots COO in alarm.

GIDEON (CONT’D)

Never more will we beg for the baker’s scraps, those piteous crumbs of...

Gideon’s LIEUTENANT WHISPERS into his ear. Gideon looks down at the dot on his chest. He releases a squirt of white from his tailfeathers.