John August

John

Hello, Residuals

Film Industry, Video

When the Apple [iPhone](http://www.apple.com/iphone/) commercial began airing, my first thought was that I wanted one. My second thought: How much will I get in residuals for the one-second clip from the first [Charlie’s Angels](http://www.imdb.com/Title?0160127)?

The answer came yesterday in a [big green envelope](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2004/big-green-envelopes): $86.50.

UPDATE:

Because you asked, here’s the original scene as written:

Her cell phone RINGS. She answers it.

NATALIE

Hello?...Pete, hi! How are you?

INT. HOTEL KITCHEN – DAY

Pete is on break from another catering job.

PETE

I’m good. I just -- You said you wanted me to call.

INT. TOWER OFFICE – DAY

Natalie keeps checking the shelves, looking for a secret switch.

NATALIE

I did. I do. I mean, thank you for calling.

Make your introduction

Challenge, Words on the page

Following up on last week’s article about [How to Introduce a Character](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/how-to-introduce-character), I think it’s time for the second ever Scene Challenge. [Scene Challenge]

For the first one, [Masturbating to Star Trek](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/masturbating-to-star-trek), you had to write an entire scene. This time, you simply have to introduce one character. And trust me, sometimes that’s harder.

Here’s all I’m giving you:

__A man is picking up his clothes at a dry-cleaner.__

The man is a principal character in your script, and this is the first time we’re meeting him. What’s his name? What’s the story? What’s the genre? You decide, to the degree it matters.

You’re welcome to write as much of the dry-cleaner scene as you want, but the focus is on the man’s introduction. The winning entry might be one sentence long. You may wish to [consult the how-to](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/how-to-introduce-character) for helpful suggestions.

Here are the rules:

1. Post your entry in the comments thread of this article. Please don’t attempt fancy formatting. It usually just screws up the margins.
2. All entries must be submitted by 8 a.m. PST on Saturday, April 28th, 2007. Remember that comments are sometimes held in moderation. __Don’t submit twice.__ It will show up. Promise.
3. I’ll pick a winner later that day.
4. Winner receives bragging rights, which may be exchanged for a sense of self-worth. [Liz](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/blingons-and-despair#comment-53174) used her win to make an appeal for meningitis vaccination.

And…begin.

The Nines gets all domestic

Projects, Sundance, The Nines

RyanEver since Sundance, when I [announced](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/greenestreet-nines) that GreeneStreet scooped up international rights to The Nines, I’ve been faced with many questions. I knew the answer to the big one but couldn’t say. The answer to all the others depended on the first. So I’ve been sitting patiently, feigning detached acceptance, when I wanted to be shouting from the rooftops.

But since we [made it official](http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117962833.html) this morning, I’m now Mr. Answer Man.

Who’s releasing The Nines in the U.S.?
====
Newmarket. They’re the folks behind Donnie Darko and Memento. If you’ve got a challenging indie with geek appeal, they’re your distributor of choice.They’re also the folks behind Passion of the Christ, but I truly don’t think we’ll become a $200-million surprise blockbuster. Though there are thematic similarities… They’re partnered with Sony, who is handling all the home video/television stuff. Sony has done four of my movies, so I feel especially comfortable with them.

How long have you known?
====
Pretty much after the second screening. There were other players in the mix that first week after Sundance, so we ended up screening the movie all over town. But from my first meeting with the Newmarket folks, I strongly suspected it was going to work out. Did it take longer that I expected? Ohlordyes. As stressful as that legendary up-all-night Sundance dealmaking can be, at least it gets done quickly. The alternative is weeks of t-crossing and i-dotting, with multiple parties who always seem to be flying overseas. It was a marathon rather than a sprint, but the sales team for the movie (Rich Klubeck, David Kramer and Irwin Rappaport) got it across the finish line in great shape. The producers and I are hugely indebted to them.

How happy are you?
====
Very. The Nines is a movie which [some people love fanatically](http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2007/01/sundance_jan_19.html), yet leaves other people scratching their heads. Newmarket has a great track record with this kind of film, and won’t try to market it as something it’s not. They’re small, and can give it the kind of steady nurturing it needs. As for Sony, they’re huge, and a giant home video distributor has a unique ability to get DVDs onto shelves. Whether the movie grosses $2 million or $20 million, I know that 99% of viewers will end up seeing it on a TV set. I want to make sure that it’s always available to be seen.

When can I see it?
====
How about tomorrow? We’re holding a special screening on Thursday night (April 12, 2007) in Hollywood. It’s mostly for vendors (the trailer-and-poster folk), but we have a limited number of seats available for readers of this very blog. It’s not a test screening; there are no cards to fill out. But we might email you afterwards to solicit your opinions on marketing matters.

If you want to come, here’s the skinny:

* Send your REAL NAME to… watchthenines@gmail.com…with the subject line “Thursday Night Screening.”
* Again, __you have to email__. Do not ask for tickets in the comments section, because you will be mercilessly mocked. I might even stick Yancy on you.
* All invites are you plus one guest.
* You need to be able to be there at 7:15 p.m., because it’s starting at 7:30 p.m. sharp.
* It’s first-come, first-serve. Don’t send in multiple emails. It’s not a lottery.But I will get Shirley Jackson on you if pushed.
* If you’re in, we will email you by 6 p.m. tonight (Wednesday) with details. If you don’t get an email, take heart — there will be more screenings.

(UPDATE: The email address is watchthenines@gmail.com, not watchforthenines. But both accounts are forwarding, so if you sent it to the latter, it will still go through.)

When is it coming to (insert town here)?
====
There’s talk of an early fall release, but some of that depends on a certain French festival which I don’t want to jinx by mentioning. Regardless, we’ll probably be a New York/Los Angeles exclusive at first, and then expand as the response merits. With this kind of movie, it’s entirely possible it won’t end up showing at your local multiplex. And that’s okay. That’s what DVDs are for.

When is it coming to (insert country here)?
====
The international release will follow the domestic release, but every country will be different. We’ll have more information on the [official site](http://lookforthenines.com) as soon as we know.

When can we see a trailer?
====
Dude, when can I see a trailer? I’m as curious as you. I’ve seen artwork for the international posters, which rock. So we’re off to a good start.

On the topic of old things sucking

Projects, Rant, Shazam

My post on Captain Marvel/Shazam! generated a lot of comments, both on this site and AICN, primarily because of a single observation…

If I were writing a dissertation on the evolution of the Captain Marvel character, [hardcover anthologies] would be invaluable. But I’m not. So every time I read one of these, I’m struck with the same realization I encounter trying to watch The Honeymooners or a black-and-white movie: Wow. Old things suck.

Was I deliberately exaggerating to make a point? Yes.

Was I baiting readers to write in? Sure.

Was I serious? Sort of.

There’s obviously an abundance of old things which not only do not suck, but are in fact spectacular: great works of literature, music, art, and movies which deserve to be called classics — and not just because they’re in black and white. We study them, we emulate them, because they are just so damn good.And yet, when we emulate them too closely, the results are invariably disappointing. That’s a good topic for someone’s dissertation, so I won’t try to address it in a footnote.

[kane]That said, for every great old masterpiece, there are a lot of non-masterpieces. And what frustrates me is when society insists on elevating and fawning over these non-masterpieces simply because they were part of some mythical Golden Age. To me, that includes The Honeymooners. Sorry. I can understand why it was groundbreaking, and the enormous challenge of creating a live show, and why it was seminal. But I don’t care. It doesn’t connect for me whatsoever, and I’m too honest to fake any interest in it.

Thus, to me, it sucks. Everyone is free to have his own opinion, at least until the corporate sponsors find out.Read the fine print on the parking garage stub. It’s a contract.

I could have softened the blow by saying, “Many old things suck” or “Some old things suck.” But that wouldn’t be true to my experience. When I watch a classic film and have that holy shit, this is just as good as everyone says experience, that’s the glorious exception. That’s when I’m happy I’ve deliberately set my expectation meter low for anything older than I am.

Setting aside the implicit ontological paradoxes, most people I know would be curious to travel back in time. They’d love to meet historical figures, marvel at extinct animals, and experience daily life in an earlier age. But I’ve yet to meet someone who wants to travel back in time to watch TV. Imagine, you could watch The Honeymooners in its proper context, live, as it was made. Wouldn’t that be the best thing ever? No?

Of course it wouldn’t, because you live in 2007. The world has changed a lot since the days of Ralph Kramden threatening domestic violence against his wife, and you can’t pretend it hasn’t.Yes, I know he was kidding. There’s a fascinating apologia on the topic, but you wouldn’t see Kevin James getting away with it today.

And yet, time travel is exactly what some fans want out of an adaptation — to create a movie as it would have existed in an earlier era. To me, that’s foolish. You can watch The Honeymooners on DVD, safe in its nostalgic bubble, but to slavishly recreate the experience is cultural masturbation.

And yes, I said “masturbation” just to bait comments.