Writing better action

A new screencast (scriptcast?), a little shorter than the previous one.

In the audio, I say “parallel action,” but a better term would be parallel structure: You’re lining up sentences to omit the subject. Action sequences tend to benefit from these staccato word bursts.

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April 11, 2009 @ 2:38 pm | Comments (50)
Filed under: How-To, Scriptcast, Video

50 Responses to “Writing better action”

  1. Clint

    Great tutorial. In the action line where you describe Smith moving forward to peek out, is there a reason why you preferred to break that up into separate sentences rather than placing it all into one sentence using commas? Would both approaches be acceptable? Thanks.

    http://www.twitter.com/ParcHDVideo

  2. Max

    Hey John,

    Great video.

    I’m new to screenwriting so I don’t know all the terms that have to do with screenwriting but don’t really show up in the script (I’ve learned most of what I know by reading lots of screenplays), so I’m a bit confused about your use of the word “beat” here. Do you mind explaining / defining? Thanks.

  3. Dan

    Thanks, John. This stuff is great. If you keep this up you’ll eventually have enough stuff for a how-to DVD.

  4. Jesse

    John, quick question. I noticed that the program you’re using automatically puts two spaces after a period in a sentence. Isn’t that because Courier is a fixed width font, right, and you’re supposed to do that? Or is that something you do stylistically? I know that typically it’s not necessary to space twice with most modern fonts. Is the writing software you’re using in those tutorials the same software you use for your actual scripts? I use Final Draft and it doesn’t auto-space twice after periods. Curious.

  5. Eric

    Very nice to see a second one up so quickly!

    I see you stuck with double spacing after periods. Do you do that in dialogue, too, or just action?

    I had a screenwriting prof way back in the 90s who tried to teach us not to double space in scripts. Just curious if it’s something you’ve consciously considered…

  6. John

    @Jesse and @Eric:

    Fixed-width fonts like Courier really do look better with two periods, IMHO. For everything else, one period is the rule.

    As far as INT. and EXT., I like one space, but two doesn’t bother me.

  7. Satria

    Thank you so much for this video tutorial and everything you do on your website. Your quick and easy advice feels so much more valubale than anything I learned in years of film school.

    Uhm… I know that had kind of a brown nosing ring to it, but this is the first time I comment on your site and I just had to write how grateful I am. So while we’re at it, I loved Big Fish (actually all of your Burton collaborations so far) and really enjoyed the first Charlie’s Angels (second one too wibberly for my taste) and Go. Have yet to see The Nines, though. All right, all right, I shut up, now. Thanks again!

  8. Chip Street

    John – Long time listener, first time caller. Love your site, check it daily and send people here all the time. Thanks!

    Question: I will sometimes use onomatopoeic words in action sequences to drive home the beat of an action scene, thusly:

    “BAM! BAM! Two gunshots! A windshield SHATTERS, spraying glass.”

    What are your thoughts on this?

    Thanks in advance…

  9. Kristan

    Yay for a second how-to video!

    And a question: is using “the hell” in “getting the hell out of the way” good practice? I mean, it keeps with the tone of the scene — or maybe it helps set the tone — but it’s also pretty informal.

  10. Chris

    I like these tutorial videos. The feeling of looking over your shoulder in real time helps.

    I heard you use the term ‘red shirts.’ Is that something specific to villains or is it just a term for minor characters?

  11. bn

    These videos are excellent! Great idea. Look forward to more in the future.

  12. Chris

    @ Chris: Red shirts is a term derived from the original Star Trek. Anytime you saw someone in a red uniform, everyone knew they’d die by the end of the episode. It’s now just a generic term to describe characters who are there to die but don’t serve another purpose.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redshirt_(character)

  13. Chris

    Whoops. Might want to copy/paste the whole thing. Or just go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_shirts and click on the link.

  14. mike

    Hey John (or anybody who knows)— I’ve noticed that in all of the published screenplays I have (admittedly a small collection but including stuff like LA Confidential and Burn After Reading) all of the action/description are always in italics. Yet you never seem to do that. Which is the standard? Is there a standard? Or is it just something publishers do to make screenplays “clearer” for the average reader?

  15. Mike

    John! Excellent tutorial. I knew it was great halfway through when I was already noticing opportunities I was missing on a couple of specs I’m working on now.

    Thanks for this entry, and for your site in general. Extremely helpful!

  16. Ryan Jackson

    Thanks for another awesome video John! Very informative!

  17. Mario

    @Mike

    The standard is how John has it. The publishers in the book you have probably put them in italics for other reasons, but they’re not the standard.

    You can download any script from http://www.script-o-rama.com and see that most of them use the regular font.

  18. GabbaGoo

    Those “ing’s” kill me… but other than that, it’s a better feel for the scene.

  19. Sarah

    Thanks, John! Great job! :)

  20. Synthian

    @Kristan – Action is not a formal occasion.

    Not if you want us to know that your character is living under a falling sky with a stack of problems on a rock that’s spinning at 1038 miles per hour, and THIS MOMENT is what they’ve chosen to to with it.

    Read Swing Kids if you get the chance. -

    “They’re not just gonna dance. They’re gonna burn burn the fucking place down.”

  21. Synthian

    (with one less burn)

  22. Vaughn

    http://complicationsensue.blogspot.com/2005/06/ing.html

    Has John ever written about the “ing” thing? I would like a second opinion, seeing as GabbaGoo is about to start a shitstorm.

  23. Sarah

    Thanks for sharing ;) This could double my number ;D Hope to see more episodes – you’re a genius!

  24. Nic

    I keep thinking about that strange mutant keyboard of yours when I watch these.

    Thanks for posting them. They’re a great idea.

  25. Mark

    Great stuff! This is the kind of thing that really helps aspiring screenwriters. It’s better than any screenwriting book. Please keep it up!

  26. Kevin

    once again a great video. my first script i always capitalized character’s names. throughout the entire script. i need to take the time to go back and change that around. keep up the great work!

  27. Kumar

    John, this is very useful. Thanks a lot.

    Can be further improved in two places.

    First, ‘ducks down’ can only be ‘ducks’ because ‘down’ is redundant here. So we’ll get ‘Smith ducks behind a parked car’.

    Second, in the action lines we don’t immediately know where the gunman and driver are located. Are they walking on the road? Or are they in a car?

    So maybe we can add a word or two specifying it.

    For example: ‘Smith scrambles forward, keeping low. Draws his gun. Risks a peek: two men, GUNMAN and DRIVER, glower at him from a car nearby.

  28. Lisa

    Outstanding! Video tutorials are terrific particularly in an isolating field such as screenwriting. I was telling someone last night that in this profession, you can’t just roll your chair into your neighbor’s cube and say, “Hey man, here’s what I did so far. Would you handle it like this?”

    So, it’s great to be able to look over your cube wall and see how you would handle a piece of writing.

    Methinks you’re really on to something here…

    Thanks!

  29. Erik Harrison

    John – this is awesome. Best words-on-the-page advice out there. You don’t have to be envious of Jane Espenson at all.

  30. JC

    what’s better:

    • glass sprays on the sidewalk.

    or

    spraying glass on the sidewalk.

    Does it matter?

  31. Harold

    Kumar, bro, at some point all the little things just become questions of STYLE. He put: ducks down, you put: ducks, I just put dives. Someone else might hit return and devote a whole line to the words: CALIFORNIA ROLL!!! – Some will say he comes to a stop. Some will say, he STOPS. Some guys BEGIN to walk. My guys just walk. But I’m pretty sure I’m not about to take my crayons to the Sistine Chapel and declare my style an improvement. — Dude are you gonna eat that last burger?

  32. Kumar

    Brother Harold, you are right. It’s just a matter of style, changes from person to person. However, in any given example if things can be made tighter, all the better for us. We are in a business where we’re supposed to restrict ourselves to 120 pages, so any deletion, however small, goes a long way. But I agree that ‘ducks’/'ducks down’ is just a minor quibble. (“minor” maybe redundant here, ahem.)

  33. Eric Rick Gershman

    Thanks again for such an excellent post, John. I learn something new–sometimes more than one thing–every time I visit your blog.

  34. Anna

    @ Max:

    I don’t know what John August would say but to my mind the scene has two beats:

    Smith gets shot at and ducks for cover. Smith shoots back and kills/drives away the baddies.

  35. erik

    kumar: thanks for adding the car business. to me it’s a little confusing not to know the bad car are in a car until scene’s end.

  36. erik

    bad car = bad guys

  37. tcampbell

    I got the “generic red shirts” reference right away. Does that show my age?

  38. jc

    Cool.

  39. Paula

    Re: “ing” verbs, just mix it up depending upon which achieves the affect you want or need in any particular sentence. In the sentence, “Jane walks into the room, picking her teeth,” “walks” is better than “walking” and “picking” is better than “picks. Otherwise you end up with this:

    “Jane is walking into the room, picking her teeth.” A little awkward. Or… “Jane is walking into the room. She picks her teeth as she goes.” Also awkward. Or… “Jane walks into the room. She picks her teeth as she goes.” Not so bad, but the single two-clause sentence is probably stronger in this case, since picking her teeth modifies the walking in the room and isn’t really a separate beat. Contrast this: “Jane walks in the room. She picks the vase up off the table.” Here no “ing” words at all works best.

  40. Ryan

    Love these videos. Keep ‘em coming!

  41. Thiago

    Amazing as always. Thanks John.

    @ Paula I guess you could start teaching us a thing or two. ; ) English is not my mother language and little grammar tidbits are a treat for a learning screenwriter like myself. A big thanks for you too.

  42. Nathan

    Heh. “Red Shirts.” :)

    Do you always double-space your sentences? Is that industry standard or just how you type?

    Thanks, - Nathan

  43. Craig

    Thank you. This is really helpful.

  44. Eric S

    Hey John, is capitalizing action such as SHOOTS mandatory? I believe I’ve read scripts without it and I generally don’t do it, wondering now if I should. Thanks,

  45. Carlito

    More, August, more! You won’t be able to output enough to appease these screenwriting masses. Screw the law of diminishing returns. Post!

  46. Dan Paicopulos

    thanks for the great interview at thr RM Library…you both rock

    I watched “The Nines” earlier today, at Deborah’s urging, and, though I fancy myself a mystery solver, I had 5 different resolutions in mind during the first 85 minutes…all wrong. Rats!

  47. Wyn

    Dear John,

    Please be our first openly gay American president someday.

  48. Nas

    Hey John, can we get some clarification on what should be capitalized?

    I was told, first-time writer spec scripts should only include capitalized names the first time they appear, sounds etc should all be lower case. Apparently to produce an easier read.

    Only in the production draft would they then be capitalized.

  49. Adolfo Bernal

    Dude,

    Loved the screencast. It definitely illustrated the point better than if it had been a written article. Please make more of these.

    Cheers.

  50. jane

    Another longtime lurker popping her head up to tell you what a great idea this is! I love it! And I especially like the epi on action sequences, since that seems to be the least touched upon subject in the many books I’ve read so far.

    And if you have all these lurkers singing your praise, then you know you’re onto a good thing. :)

    thanks again.

 

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