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Scriptnotes, Episode 423: Minimum Viable Movie, Transcript

November 4, 2019 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2019/minimum-viable-movie).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** Hi y’all my name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 423 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Often on this podcast we ask How Would That Be a Movie, but today we’re going to ask an even more fundamental question: Is that a movie? We’ll try to lay out the minimal requirements for a motion picture, which you may want to consider as you set out to write.

We’ll also be answering some listener questions and, of course, following up on assistant pay.

**Craig:** Oh yes.

**John:** But first, Craig, you are headed to Austin for the Austin Film Festival. Can you talk us through your schedule?

**Craig:** Sure. What an exciting schedule it is. It’s jam-packed with stuff. [laughs] It’s really not. It’s one of the lightest schedules I’ve ever had and I’m incredibly appreciative for it. Friday morning is my first thing and I guess it’s probably the most substantive thing I’m going to do. It’s called On Writing Chernobyl: A Conversation with Craig Mazin. I don’t know who I’m talking to. It just says me. What is that?

**John:** It could be a conversation with yourself?

**Craig:** It will not be.

**John:** I think you should do the Frune voice and just be interviewing yourself.

**Craig:** Well that’s not a bad idea actually. I can totally do that. What’s the story?

So, that’s going to happen with someone talking to me, I guess. And then that night at 10pm roughly, depending on just how tipsy we are I’m going to take the stage in the big Driskill ballroom with a bunch of other fantastic guests – really, really good ones. You’re going to want to show up, as always, for a free-wheeling live episode of Scriptnotes. So always fun when we do it there. It’s very raucous. We’ll take lots of questions. Do lots of answers. Tell stories. Laugh. Enjoy life. And record it all for posterity.

**John:** Excellent.

**Craig:** Yeah. And then I’m going to be introducing Dan Weiss and David Benioff at an awards luncheon where they’re getting an award. So I’m putting together the world’s snarkiest speech as we speak. And also on Saturday night I will be one of the judges judging the finals of the Pitch Competition which is in a big bar and it’s–

**John:** I went to that last year and it was really fun. It was sometimes hard to hear people as they were pitching, but the vibe was really great. So, I really enjoyed it last time.

**Craig:** It’s a good vibe and as always I’m relied upon to be, you know, Johnny Tough Love, I guess.

**John:** Mm-hmm. So I’m looking forward to hearing what happens. I will not be at Austin Film Festival this year at all, so I will only know when I hear the audio for the assembled episode, so enjoy. People are going to be there live and in person seeing stuff and it could be so raucous and so un-broadcastable that only by being there in person will you really get the full experience.

**Craig:** I think it will be broadcastable. It may not be an episode you like. [laughs]

**John:** But that’s fine.

**Craig:** It will be broadcastable. It will be sound waves.

**John:** There will be sound waves that can be transmitted through the Internet.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Nice. Last week we talked about the WGA and videogame awards. We got a couple emails in. One was a listener who wrote in with a sound file, which I always love when people sort of record themselves. So let’s take a listen to that.

**Anthony Johnston:** Hi John and Craig. Anthony Johnston here. Just wanted to point out something you didn’t mention regarding the Writers Guild dropping the videogame award. The reason some years only saw a minimal amount of entries is because only games written by people who were either full guild members or had joined the Game Writers Caucus, which John mentioned, were eligible. The problem with the caucus is that the only thing your yearly sub gets you is the ability to be considered for that award. Well, and a copy of the magazine. But, you know, come on.

But it doesn’t even count in any way towards full guild membership as I found out a couple of years ago when I wrote my first screenplay for Hollywood. I understand why the guild doesn’t want to give out awards to non-members, of course, and that’s their prerogative. But it’s not like game writing is covered by a different guild. And this all speaks to those concerns you had about them simply not reaching out to games writers in a meaningful way.

I’m on the Games Committee of the British Writers Guild and our annual award is given to the best written game, regardless of whether the authors are guild members or not because from our perspective the award is about advancing and promoting the field, not the guild per se.

Anyway, I’ve ranted about the lack of unionization in games many times before and I won’t get into it again, but suffice to say this latest action by the WGA certainly isn’t helping. Thanks for listening. See you later.

**John:** To start with I want to stipulate that I would like him to narrate a bunch of nature documentaries because he has a fantastic voice.

**Craig:** Yep.

**John:** And I want to hear him talking about geese and other things and small woodland creatures having fun.

**Craig:** But the geese doesn’t see the predator nearby. Sneaking up on her and her loved ones. Something like that?

**John:** Fantastic.

**Craig:** Do we even need him anymore? Or can I do it?

**John:** He’s actually better than you.

**Craig:** Yeah, I know.

**John:** And that’s a high bar.

**Craig:** I know.

**John:** So let’s get into the substance of what he’s actually talking about which is that this videogame writers caucus is a thing you have to join in order to be considered for an award, but you get essentially no benefits other than being eligible for an award, which feels like a fundamental flaw in that system. But I do want to point out that the British system is different also because it’s not truly a union. The British Screenwriters Guild is not a union in the same way that we are a union. They’re not representing employees. They are a bunch of people who work in the same industry but they are not a labor organization. So they’re not quite similarly situated.

Craig, what did you take from his discussion of this topic?

**Craig:** Well, what he’s shining a light on is that the entire decision to award videogame writers was a scheme to try and see if we could advance the organization of videogame writers into the Writers Guild. So what the Writers Guild did was they created this caucus category. A caucus category in the Writers Guild essentially means, meh, you’re not actually a member of the Writers Guild. But we’ll waive some magic fairy dust on you. You give us some money. And you become eligible for things like these awards. But over time what happens is the videogame companies realize that there’s actually like he says no actual significant benefit or upside to being in this caucus. It doesn’t apply to your membership in the guild for other things because you’re not doing anything that’s covered under a Writers Guild contract generally speaking.

So, the entire point of it just sort of collapsed pretty quickly. But my feeling is if you’re going to give awards to videogames in an attempt to say, “Listen, one day we’d love to have you in our fold. Could we unionize your shop?” Do it.

There’s no need to – I agree with him. Don’t pin it all on some meaningless Writers Guild caucus membership because then the awards don’t mean much anyway. And in fact what it seems like has happened is they’ve said not enough people are paying us the caucus money so nobody gets an award. I think we should acknowledge that we don’t represent videogame writers, but we have given the award so let’s continue to give the award and start talking to the employers. That’s kind of the point, right? That’s the job.

**John:** Yeah. Organizing any new sector is incredibly difficult, so trying to go out and actually organize these folks is a difficult thing on a very long term basis. And so a concerted effort by the WGA over many years, maybe you could make some progress. But it is going to be difficult because videogame industry is not – while the work is actually very similar to sort of what we’ve been doing, it’s not concentrated in the town the same way. It’s diffuse. There’s a lot of challenges to doing it.

So, a person could also argue whether the WGA is the best organization to being going after trying to organize videogame work. I don’t know. But it was good to hear his perspective from somebody outside of our videogame industry.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, look, when it comes to any kind of writing employment I tend to think that the Writers Guild is the best union option available to anyone that writes, because well we do the best job of defending the writer’s right to credits, defending the writer’s right to residuals, I think we have the best guaranteed minimum salaries. So I’m always interested in that. I do think that you’re right. It’s a hard thing to organize any shop. If the guild spends ten years trying to organize a videogame shop and it fails, or five years and it fails, at that point for the guild to say, “Listen, guys, we’re not going to do the Writers Guild videogame awards anymore because none of your employers are willing to talk to us and you guys aren’t signing cards, so it’s enough.” At that point I don’t really think the videogame writers would have much of a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining. But they haven’t tried that. As far as I know they haven’t done any of that work. They’ve just handed out awards and then one day they were like, “Meh, you’re not giving us our caucus money anymore.”

It’s not a great look. I’ve got to say. I’m just going to continue my theme on this. I don’t think it was a great look. I don’t think it was handled well. And, you know, I think they should reconsider. I really do.

**John:** Let’s end this topic on some happy news. The folks who work at the LA Times have a new union. So that’s a thing that happened this past week. So the LA Times employees are now under a union, which is great news.

**Craig:** Who covers them? Is there like a newscaster–?

**John:** I think it’s its own special new union. I have no sort of great insight to it, but it’s a thing that happened just as we were starting to record. So that’s exciting.

**Craig:** That is exciting. And just to be clear when I said that our union is the best at representing writers what I mean is representing writers – those writers who do work for screens as opposed to just print.

**John:** Yep. Exactly. All right. Let us get back to the topic of assistants, which has been a big thing this past week, past couple weeks. And so much has changed since the last episode we recorded. After we recorded the hashtag #PayUpHollywood came out. There were a lot of new anecdotes that were being shared along with that hashtag. LA Times, Variety, Hollywood Reporter all ran stories on the issue. I know I had a lot of private conversations, I suspect you have had them as well.

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** With writers, executives, other folks who are thinking about this as an issue. We’ve gotten a ton more emails in, including some emails that reference friends of ours who are not doing right by their assistants. So, that’s interesting and awkward.

**Craig:** Oh? OK. I haven’t seen those.

**John:** All right. So we’ll forward some of those onto you.

**Craig:** Do I want to see those? [laughs]

**John:** I think you do want to see those. I think it’s good for us to see all of these things. But this week has also got me thinking back to my own time as an assistant. I did a blog post about it. And so I was describing how one of my first jobs in Hollywood was as an assistant. It was just after film school. I was working for two very busy producers. I did all the classic assistant things: answering phones, reading scripts, making copies. No one makes copies anymore.

And I said in that blog post that I thought I was making $550 a week. I ended up editing it back out and putting a footnote there saying I’m not sure it was $550. I couldn’t actually find any pay stubs or tax records. But I was able to make enough money to pay rent. I was able to buy groceries. I could see all the movies I wanted to see. And I could write on nights and weekends. It was enough. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was enough. And that was my two years in assistant-dom and then I was able to transition out of that.

And Craig you had a similar experience as an assistant right out of college, right?

**Craig:** I did. I didn’t quite have the leg up you had, because you were coming out of the Stark program. So it makes sense that your first gig probably would be a little bit better pay than mine. I didn’t know anybody and I wasn’t coming out of film school. So my first job in Hollywood, my salary was $20,000 a year. And so I did a little math using just a standard inflation calculator. $20,000 in 1992 is the equivalent of $36,600 today. OK, well as it turns out that’s not far off from what a lot of assistants are making when you just look at kind of a $12.50 or $15 an hour rate, and a typical 50-hour week or even more. It’s sort of settling in around there.

So, what’s the difference? Well, first of all, I don’t want to pretend that I was living high on the hog. I was not. I also had student loans I had to pay off and all the rest. But here’s the huge difference. I shared a two-bedroom apartment with a friend of mine and that two-bedroom apartment was in North Hollywood. And the rent was $700 a month. So my rent was $350 a month in 1992. What is that in today’s dollars? It is $640 a month. No, I think Megana is on the line, right?

**Megana Rao:** Yeah, I’m here!

**Craig:** OK. And Bo is with us, too. So, Bo Shim is my assistant and Megana Rao is not only our producer but also your assistant. So, I’ll ask you Bo, $640 a month would get you what right now?

**Bo Shim:** [laughs] I don’t even know. Like half of a studio?

**Craig:** Half of a single room? So you’re like bunking with someone in a single room?

**Bo:** Like a dorm.

**Craig:** A dorm. I checked. And the rate of rent increase in Los Angeles has far outstripped the rate of inflation. So essentially even though people are being paid similarly to how they were paid when I first started in 1992, their expenses are dramatically greater. And that is why the current situation is not at all tenable.

And I have to tell, John, based on what I’ve looked at here I don’t know if I would have been able to do it. I don’t know if I would have been able to move to Los Angeles and get a job and work as an assistant because I didn’t have any other source of money. There was no money coming from my family. Plus I had loans to pay off. I just don’t think I could have done it.

**John:** Well, we’re lucky to have two assistants on the line who have done this. And so let’s turn this over more to Bo and Megana to talk us through their path into the industry and becoming assistants. And if you guys can tell us how you started as assistants and how you sort of made it work. Can we start with you, Bo? What was your route from college into working with Craig right now?

**Bo:** Right. I graduated from NYU in 2016 and I took a more traditional route of working at an agency, kind of staying put and seeing that as a stepping stone for my next job. And I think that’s a lot of people working there. Not everybody wants to be an agent, but all the jobs out there require one to two years of agency experience. So, I did that for about two years. And when I started it was I believe $12.50 an hour. A non-negotiable rate of $12.50 an hour. And after about two years maybe it was like a dollar raise. And then by the time I left in the last couple months they bumped it up to $15 an hour.

So I know firsthand working in that environment. And I have to say of course I wouldn’t have this job right now if I wasn’t present at that place and working that job, and that’s why most people work there is for the opportunities that you’re exposed to. But that was kind of my path to working for Craig Mazin.

**John:** Now, Megana, you took a different route. So talk us through how you went from college and where you were at before you came to work as an assistant here.

**Megana:** Yeah, so I had a much more untraditional route. I graduated from Harvard in 2014. And then worked in tech. I worked at Google for about four years before I made my way out to LA and started working for you. So, I sort of had a very different introduction to the workforce than Bo in that immediately from day one I felt like I was very fairly compensated and just felt really valued by Google. I felt like they were investing in me and they really wanted me to grow there.

And, yeah, I think last week we sort of talked about that villainous HR person who said lower wages inspire people to get better paying jobs. And coming from working in a place where that’s absolutely the opposite case I do not think that that’s true. I think that being fairly paid made me feel inspired by the work that I could bring to the company.

**John:** So one of the things you’ve had to do over these last two weeks is go through a tremendous amount of mail that came in. I know you’ve also been sharing it with Bo. Can you give us a sense of what you’re seeing and talk us through the issues and sort of where we’re at in this conversation right now as you’re reading more about assistants and assistant pay in Hollywood?

**Megana:** Yes. So we have been getting a ton of emails. So thank you to everyone who has been writing in. I think one of the biggest issues that we probably will not be able to get into today but has been a big theme has been the mental, psychological, emotional abuse that a lot of these assistants are dealing with every day on top of their low wages. And I think that makes sense, because we sort of started this conversation in the wake of hashtag #MeToo and this is just another reckoning with the institutional failures that have gotten us to this place.

And on a more positive note I think people are feeling more validated and seen by the hashtag #PayUpHollywood and the coverage that’s been in the trades and the LA Times. And I think there’s been a sort of unification that’s been really exciting.

I got this one email from Christine that I’d love to share. She says, “I listened to your recent Scriptnotes episode on assistant pay and I teared up in my car because it hit close to home. Being a child of refugees I decided to go the safe route after college and pursue a stable and predictable career that would please my parents. But one that was also creative adjacent to please me. So I went to law school with the hopes of practicing entertainment law. I decided not to go that route after I did legal internship at a movie studio and discovered that the young and hungry attorneys in the legal department were working as glorified administrative assistants for $20,000.

“This was in 2001 and law students were taking out more in student loans per year, $26,000 per year, then the annual before tax salaries of these ‘entertainment lawyers.’ I didn’t know how they paid their rent and their student loan repayments until it finally dawned on me. They were trust fund babies. And that’s when I decided to become a litigator instead.

“18 years later and here I am finally trying to do the thing. It has taken me this long because my family had no money, no connections, and the risk of entering a career where I would have to ask my parents for financial help when they were also struggling was too shameful for me to contemplate. It took me nearly 20 years to gather the resources where I can now carve out free time for myself to write. This year I wrote my first screenplay. I literally couldn’t afford to do it as a career, so now I do it as a passion project.”

So, the reason I wanted to highlight this is because I wanted to bring it back to another reason that we were so compelled to take this on as an issue is that these really high barriers to entry are literally keeping the pipeline from being filled with any sort of diversity in Hollywood. And, Bo, I know you had experience working in the business affairs side, so I don’t know if you want to speak to Christine’s experience at all.

**Bo:** Yeah. I was working in business affairs and so a lot of the assistants there in that department went to law school and were bar’d and it was crazy to me that they were getting paid the same as someone who – I mean, no one really should be getting paid $12.50 an hour, but they were getting paid the same across the board.

**Megana:** Yeah. So I worked on Ad Words which was sort of the biggest, most corporate, and like least sexy part of the company, and I think because of the way that I was paid I was really inspired to do good work and to put my all in the company. And so it’s sort of wild to me in Hollywood where the impact of your work is so tangible in these productions that, you know, I would think that if you’re a creator or a showrunner and you have this vision that you would want to – you would want to have people around you who are doing their best work to help you execute your ideas and that you’re empowering them to be able to do that on their projects and that they’re not worried about how they’re going to pay for their lunch.

**John:** Yeah. So even working on this Ad Words team they were still treating you like you were a valuable person in the company and not just a body in a chair?

**Megana:** And I think something that they say all the time at Google is we don’t just hire you for the job, we hire you for Google. And I think that in the traditional sense of the pipeline for like a writer’s assistant to a staff writer that also holds true. You are hiring assistants so that you can grow them as writers and people who will become creators eventually. And it seems like something there has just been broken recently.

**John:** So, Bo, working at an agency what is the trajectory to rise up through the agency? I always hear about the mailroom and then you’re on a desk and then eventually you become an agent. Was that at all interesting to you? Or were you mostly coming in there just to learn about how the industry worked?

**Bo:** For me it was really just about learning the landscape and the business side of the industry. But if you did want to be an agent the steps are essentially you’re in the mailroom, and then you’re on typically two desks, possibly more, and then you go back down to the mailroom. And then you come back up and you’re on another desk until then you’re promoted.

So, I knew that I didn’t want to be an agent. And a lot of people are there to kind of just get the experience and hopefully use it as a stepping stone for their next job. And that’s what I observed.

I do think like – and not just this job in particular – but it is really helpful for someone to take you under their wing and really vouch for you. And that’s really an important aspect of being able to rise up the ranks. And it’s really hard, especially if you’re maybe not coming from a background where you’re familiar with the industry or you have connections, or you necessarily have the aspects that someone who staffs a producer, who staffs an agent, who staffs a director. I think they try to foster an environment where you felt like you were supported, but it felt more accessible to certain people as opposed to others.

**Craig:** I mean, are we dancing a little bit around the whole white guy thing right now? Because it does seem like – because here’s my concern. I’m going to tie it back to the money issue. Because the money issue makes it so that the most likely to be at these desks are people who have external support of the kind that I didn’t have, and John I don’t think you had either. You’re going to get a higher percentage of people that are white males. Or I suppose white females. But the point is not people of color. Just because we’re just going on statistics, economic statistics in the United States.

So is there a sense of a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy where people take people under their wing. They’re looking for people that, I don’t know, remind them of themselves. I mean, we know how this sort of works with representation. Is there a sense that it’s harder for people of color in these places? They’re getting hit twice. They’re not getting paid enough and the kind of path to rise is even narrower for them than it is for their white coworkers.

**Bo:** Yes. Definitely it’s a factor in being able to enter this arena in the first place. And then I think there’s definitely unconscious or conscious bias when it comes to people looking at assistants and being like, oh, well that person – I don’t know, we talk sports and we jive and naturally there’s a way to bond. And I do think it kind of affects the way that you’re able to have those relationships and have a level of comfort so that you can kind of ask for things. So yeah.

**John:** It sounds like we’re talking about what is an assistant worth. And sort of like the worth of that person. And some of that comes down to the money that you’re paying them. So if you’re paying them a good salary you’re valuing them in a certain way. But valuing them and acknowledging their worth is also how you’re treating them and how you are – whether you’re treating them in ways that have some quality of mentorship that you’re actually going to be able to see them advance through the industry. And it doesn’t sound like these people working at agencies, but also people we’ve talked to who have been working with producers are really getting that experience.

Last week we had someone write in really pleading that if a showrunner is going to hire someone on as an assistant read their stuff ahead of time and be honest with them about whether there’s any chance to be moving up onto the staff, because you don’t want to be spinning your wheels and wasting your time.

Let’s transition to talking about some of the solutions or next steps that folks who’ve written in to us have suggested. Megana, can you get us started with what are people thinking we might want to be looking at in terms of fixing these problems?

**Megana:** Yeah, so you know I think there’s so much momentum and excitement. People are throwing out ideas of strikes and legal action that they can take. And I think an interesting thing that’s come up is having the protection of a union.

So, Marcia wrote in and she said, “Unlike most of the other types of members in IATSE, the overwhelming majority of writers’ room assistant aspire to ultimately do a different type of job – become writers. That is covered by a different union, the WGA. This means that writers’ room assistants like myself are transitory members of the IATSE. We intent to leave IATSE and join the WGA as soon as the opportunity presents itself. As a result, IATSE doesn’t have much reason to look out for the interests of writers’ room assistants since we don’t have much of a future in that union, or at least we hope not.”

And she also points out that IATSE 700 represents the Editors Guild in Hollywood and they have both editors and assistant editors. And she asks if it makes sense for writers’ room assistants who are on their way to becoming writers should also be a part of the WGA in some capacity.

**John:** So what Marcia’s suggesting here does on the surface make sense. You have writers’ room assistants who are very, very close to that screenwriting process. They’re part of the generation of TV shows and they ultimately want to segue into becoming writers so they would be joining the Writers Guild. And it feels really futile to be joining this other union for a time when you don’t really want to be a part of that union.

One of the challenges I think of unionizing assistants overall is that most Hollywood assistants don’t want to be career assistants. So a union makes a lot of sense if that is your chosen profession. But very few of the people who are in those jobs right now do they want to be doing this for 20 years. They’re not looking for a pension as an assistant. They’re looking to move into the next thing. So it’s worth talking about.

I don’t know that it solves the overall problem of assistants who are not in writers’ rooms. Because the WGA wouldn’t be able to cover them. But it’s always worth looking at sort of is there some organized labor way of addressing it.

**Megana:** And I think another big theme that’s been coming in, is that in the idea of taking a sort of legal route to addressing these issues–I mean, what do you do when people in HR and bosses are violating the actual laws in place? And asking people to do illegal things? So, Bo, do you want to read us what Greg wrote in?

**Bo:** Yeah. Greg wrote, “I assisted a showrunner who had two pilots shooting concurrently on location. We worked on one from Monday to Friday and then the other from Wednesday to Sunday. They also shifted the two production hours so they overlapped as little as possible. This meant I was working at least 16 hour days, seven days a week, covering showrunner assistant duties on both shows. To make it worse, they had me script coordinating both shows.

“When the studio production executive saw my time card she came to me saying I couldn’t work this much overtime. I said those were the hours I worked. She told me that they couldn’t approve it. I told her that I expected to be paid for every hour of work and that I was happy to cut back hours going forward. But she would have to talk to my boss, the showrunner, since I don’t control my schedule.

“She tried to tell me that I just couldn’t put down that kind of hours. She was talking around the illegal act of not wanting to say she wanted me to lie on my time card. She even suggested I was lucky that they were taking me on location. I told her that if she prefers she could find three inexperienced locals to do three of the four jobs I was doing. And I could easily work a regular schedule. She went to the showrunner saying I was being insubordinate. I was lucky the showrunner backed me up and even asked me if I wanted to continue working the overtime or hire more people. I made the choice to take the overtime.

“The point here is that the production executive at the studio was bullying me and had I not had the confidence of having done the job for years they would have probably succeeded at stealing from me.”

**Craig:** This is not at all shocking to me because John you and I both know that when these people – people who are pay masters at the studios – are dealing with us they’re also jerks. I mean, partly they’re professional jerks, right? I mean, not all of them are jerks. Don’t get me wrong. But a lot of times they will be really aggressive because the whole crux of their job is pay these people as little as possible. Well, if they’re doing that to us, you can only imagine what they’re doing to somebody like Greg who is apparently being held accountable for his hours while having no authority whatsoever over them. He’s being ordered to work. By the way, no one should be working that much. That’s insane.

**John:** No.

**Craig:** That’s absolutely insane.

**John:** Absolutely insane. The whole sidebar conversation that nobody should be working that many hours.

**Craig:** Correct. And this production executive should have seen that timecard and called the showrunner immediately. But how dare she call this person and say essentially I’m not paying you for this, because I don’t want to. Tough. Talk to the showrunner. Tell them, hey, you can’t do this anymore. And what really lights me on fire is the amount of money that we’re talking about there to cover what is essentially the discrepancy of one timecard between what she wants it to be and what it actually was is not significant to that company. Guaranteed.

**John:** It’s less than one visual effects shot on either of those pilots.

**Craig:** Thank you. So she spent time browbeating this person and chiseling them down for what? For what? I mean, if you don’t want this to be part of your culture then cancel it as part of your culture by going to the showrunners and saying don’t do that. By the way, showrunner, whoever you are, don’t do that anyway. I mean, I’m sorry. You need somebody to go to you and say hey this is a problem before you go, oh yeah, I guess that’s a problem? Do you not understand how the world works? That people can’t work 16 hours a day, seven days a week? Why would you ever put anyone in that position in the first place? It’s wrong. Hire more people. Hire more people. And pay them a fair wage. There you go. There’s a big plan.

**John:** On previous episodes we’ve talked about there have been legal cases that have challenged things, especially on interns. So there was the Black Swan case we talked about. There’s another Viacom case. Where there were unpaid interns who were being asked to do work that should be paid work. There probably is a lawsuit that could be taking situations like Greg’s and especially when they’re actually being instructed to fill out false timecards where you are stealing money from employees. And that is what a lawsuit like that would look like. And if I were a studio or an agency or an employer who was listening to this I would be concerned about that because those things can happen and it probably should happen.

So I’ll be curious whether any of that stuff comes up in this next period of time.

**Craig:** Well, you know, I suppose that’s what happens when you don’t have the wherewithal to be a decent human being and do the right thing in the first place. Now lawyers have to get involved to force you to do the right thing. But I have to look at these situations and say to myself the people that need to be talked to are the people that are employing. So the showrunners who employ these folks, the agents that employ these folks, the studio executives that employ them, the HR people. All of them. This has to come from the absolute top. Somebody at the top who sets the tone for everything has to sit them all down and say, “I’m sorry. I’m not going to be the head of a company that does this to human beings. I’m just not. I don’t care.”

And look I understand. Sometimes we’re going to have employees that aren’t good. Sometimes you’re going to have employees that steal, or break stuff, or are incompetent and will need to be fired. I understand. I get it. I’m not, I don’t know, I’m not a hippie. I’m just saying if you’re going to hire people you can’t work them 16 hours a day, seven days a week. You have to pay them a fair wage so that they can live there. And you don’t want a situation where the only people that can work for you are people whose moms and dads can send them checks. It’s outrageous.

**John:** All right. Well let’s assign some homework for some of our listeners. So, this is sort of a challenge to the showrunners, writers, executives, or agents who are listening. This would be a great week to take some time to figure out how much your assistants are actually being paid and how that translates to take home pay. It’s a great week to ask are these assistants paying for health insurance out of their own pocket. How are they covering health insurance? How are they getting to work? Literally what are some of their expenses in terms of showing up there and in showing up there how do they have to be dressed. Are you being realistic about the expenses it takes to be doing the job that you’re having them do? And what are your company’s rules about overtime? How are you avoiding Greg situations where people are working these insane numbers of hours?

So, my challenge to everyone who is listening who is an employer, please do take some time this week to really figure out what you are actually doing. Because I don’t want to mistake ignorance for malice. I don’t want to sort of ascribe some evil intent when it’s really just people who aren’t paying attention to how much they’re paying and how expensive it is to live in Los Angeles.

**Craig:** And I would also just advise anyone who feels themselves falling into the trap of saying, “Well, that’s what I got paid when I came in.” Just please understand if it was longer than 10 years ago, they’re getting paid less effectively because expenses have outpaced inflation. Your argument is not valid.

**John:** Anyone who says, “It’s always been that way,” is ignoring two things. First off, it’s always been that way doesn’t mean it was ever right. Second, it’s always been that way ignores how much more expensive it is to live in 2019 than whenever they’re comparing it back to. So, stop with it’s always been that way. It doesn’t mean it was right. It’s always been that way for there was sexual harassment and other things that were always happening that way. It was never right then and it had to stop. So, enough of that argument.

I’m curious, a couple things that have come up that I’ve seen on Twitter. People talk about like some folks are sharing their information along with their name, but I think a lot more people are scared to come forward and sort of put their name to things because fears of reprisals. Fears of it being held against them. Megana, have you seen people who have been writing in express that sentiment?

**Megana:** Definitely. And a lot of people who have been writing in, you know, are very scared that we’re going to use their information because a lot of them have signed NDAs and have experienced really vindictive employers who have jeopardized their career in certain ways. And also terrorized them while they were working for them. But you know people have been suggesting a town hall or some sort of way to express what they’re feeling in a public way and to be around other assistants and actually like feel that people are listening to them. But I think it’s just a difficult situation because these are the people in Hollywood who have the least power.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm. I would say that honestly an assistant’s name is actually far less important than the employer’s name. So, you know, if you want to keep your anonymity I fully support that. 100%. Look, your business is your business, right? Now obviously we’re trying to address something here. I’ve got to be honest. I’m not sure our general problem is that we’re short on evidence. In other words, ICM knows exactly what they pay their assistants. And now we know exactly what they pay their assistants. There’s no problem with that. Finding places and people and saying, “Look, I worked for this person. This person whose name is this pays their assistants this.” That’s valuable.

And it’s not like they can really get away with claiming that it’s a bunch of crap because people have pay stubs, right? So eventually you can show a paystub. But I don’t actually think that it’s super important for people to hang their name out there because I get it and I think the bigger piece of information is who is paying not enough.

**John:** I think this would be a great week for an employer to step up and say, “We’ve read through, we’ve looked at stuff, and we are now as a blanket policy raising the minimum we’re paying to anyone including our assistants to this figure.” And if it is a livable figure I think you get a lot of good publicity out of it. And especially if you really are backing it up with some program or some system that is encouraging upward mobility and not just sort of grinding people.

**Craig:** That’s who we change this. And I am all for assistants getting together and talking and sharing because you need to feel heard and you need to feel seen. And when you are in a jam situation a lot of times you start to feel like maybe it’s only you, or maybe you’re crazy, or maybe you’re just a whiner. And it’s really good to be able to share that stuff with other people and get perspective. But if we want to change this business what we need is someone powerful who runs a big company who listens to this and says, “I would like to be the first hero and do this.” And I hope we do get somebody. I mean, step forward, look at your numbers, and do it.

Please do it. And you know you can do it, by the way. Absolutely affordable. You know, I mean, it’s easy enough to look at some of these companies and say, all right, CEO shave 3% off your yearly income and it’s handled.

**John:** Yeah. Megana and Bo, thank you so much for coming on the show but also for all the work you’ve done this week sort of organizing and figuring out this massive information coming our way. So thank you both very much.

**Megana:** Thank you both for letting us on.

**Bo:** Thank you.

**Craig:** All right, now back to work, both of you. [laughs]

**John:** [laughs]

**Craig:** And also I’m not paying for the amount of time that you were on this. This doesn’t go on your timecard.

**Bo:** But I did puzzles today.

**Craig:** Nope. [laughs]

**John:** All right, let’s segue to our main topic for today. I’m calling this segment Minimum Viable Movie because it was two weeks ago I went into a class at USC. Howard Rodman teaches a screenwriting class. And once a year if I can I go in and talk with his students. And they have their movies broken out in index cards. And they lay out their cards and they talk through their movie. And it’s a really useful exercise, I think both for them but also for me talking through what do I actually think is a movie and how movies work when they’re just broken down on cards.

And in some cases these were clearly very talented writers who had interesting things to say, but I challenged them on is that actually a movie. There was one writer who I said you’re entering an interesting story place, but what you’re describing sounds like a musical without songs. That so much of what she was aiming to do was going to be unspoken. There was no way to actually get to what was interesting about what was happening inside those character’s heads. So in a musical you could expose those things. In a movie I didn’t see how she was planning to do it and she couldn’t articulate how she was planning to do it.

So, I thought you and I might take a few minutes to talk through what you actually need to have in order to have something that is a movie idea versus a something else idea.

**Craig:** Well, I understand that when you are young and maybe you’re in a program like that one over there at USC that you might have a tendency away from what we would call conventional narrative and conventional movie. And you may be thinking of more independent fare of the sort that occasionally is dubbed mumblecore. And there are movies that are seemingly unrestrained by narrative demands. And those are cool. It’s just that, you know, if that’s what you’re aiming for go and do it, but you’re probably not actually – you don’t really need to spend all that money at USC at that point. I really do believe. Do you know what I mean?

There are great lessons to be had.

**John:** I actually wanted to draw a big enough circle to include the mumblecore movies which are genuinely movies, but some things are – there’s things that people try to write that aren’t even that. And they may even write a full screenplay, but you read the screenplay and you’re like, yeah, but that’s not actually a movie. Because you and I have both had that experience where we read a script that’s not very good, but we can say like, oh, but that’s definitely a movie. I see why that’s a movie.

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** Or other things that are actually well written, but like it’s good writing but it’s not a movie. And so I want to try to distinguish those two things. So, my first question would be is there a story. Is there a beginning, a middle, and an end?

**Craig:** Boy, this must have been some class over there. [laughs]

**John:** Well, here’s what it is. I’m not pushing for any one specific narrative theory or a thing that has to happen. It’s much less dogmatic than even sort of your Scriptnotes lesson when you talked through how to write a movie. But is it actually a story or are you just describing a situation? Because there are short stories that are really kind of just it’s a portrait. It’s a steady, still state of a thing. But there’s not forward movement. So that forward motion is a crucial aspect I think of a story that wants to be a movie.

**Craig:** Agreed. And I think probably it’s an essential building block of these things that the end be relevant to the beginning. In other words, you can have a beginning, you can have a middle, but if you end somewhere that has really nothing to do with the beginning it’s not actually an end. It’s just where the movie stopped. And that doesn’t count.

**John:** Nope. Is this a story that wants to be told on a screen? And by that I don’t mean it has to be on a giant screen. It doesn’t have to be projected. I’m not talking to classic feature film. But ask yourself is this idea really better as a book, a graphic novel, a stage play, a videogame, a VR experience. And that’s a question I ask myself when I had the idea that ultimately became Arlo Finch. I had all this stuff but I was like it’s not really a movie. And then I realized, oh, it’s actually a middle grade book series. That’s what it really wanted to be. But if I had tried to force it into movie shape at the start it really wouldn’t have worked.

And so I think it’s always worth asking is a movie the best way to explore this narrative, bunch of things that are interesting to you. Or is there a better way to do it? If it doesn’t have to be a movie, then it probably isn’t a movie.

**Craig:** Especially when you are contemplating a story that is very internal. If something really is living primarily in someone’s mind it’s probably a book.

**John:** Yeah. Books are great at that. And in Arlo Finch in the books I can go into Arlo’s head and really see what he’s thinking. And that is going to be very challenging to do in any screen adaptation. So ask yourself how externalized are character’s thoughts and motivations and ambitions. If they’re really internal then you kind of are writing a musical without songs and that’s going to be really challenging to do.

I’d ask is the story you’re trying to tell familiar to the point of being cliché. And so it’s absolutely fine to write within a genre. We’ve talked about how much we love rom-coms. But if you’re just stringing together the genre’s tropes then that’s not really a movie. There’s probably not a compelling reason to make that movie or a compelling reason to watch that movie. You have to really challenge yourself like given all the choices of things I could watch would you actually choose to watch that movie. And that should be a requirement before you’re going to spend months of your life writing this script.

**Craig:** I agree. I also think that if you are contemplating a story that is executed primarily through really big conversations you may be in trouble. I see this all the time. I think people sometimes have very meaningful conversations in their life and they think that’s a movie. It’s not. Generally speaking the stories of movies are pushed forward not by conversation but by events. Choices. Things that crash into people. Whatever it is. There are conversations and some of them are amazing. But movies that are just trying to mirror some conversation you had in your life will generally never be as interesting to other people as they are to you.

They kind of aren’t movies.

**John:** I would challenge you to look at the central characters in your story and are they compelling? Are they genuinely people you want to watch for two hours? And importantly does the action of the story happen because of things they do, or does the story happen to them? If it’s happening to them it’s unlikely to sort of really work as a movie because they’re just a cork sort of bobbing down the river as it goes down. They should be driving the action to some meaningful degree. And in driving the action classically you want to see them change.

I’m willing to go with characters who don’t change. I want to draw a really big circle around the kinds of things that can be OK to write as movies, but you have to have some characters. If you don’t have characters that are compelling to watch that make you want to stay with them for two hours – antiheroes, heroes, whatever. We’re not asking for likeable. Just compelling. Then you probably don’t have a movie.

**Craig:** I agree. And I think sometimes what happens with newer writers is they are in love with a kind of story. Maybe they come up with a great idea. But what they do is replicate their experience of enjoying movies. They create characters that are watching the movie that they’re in.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** And that is no bueno. We’re watching the movie. That means the character is the movie. The character can’t be watching it along with us. That’s just dreadful.

**John:** Nope. The last challenge I’d put for people is do you as the author have something interesting to say about this topic or this narrative space that you’re describing. Because if it’s just going to be another manifestation of this thing then sort of why. What is it you are bringing to this that is different than other people are bringing to this? What is it that really makes this movie a unique expression of this kind of story? If you don’t have that then it’s probably not the thing you should be writing next.

**Craig:** Yeah. I completely agree.

**John:** Cool. So with those caveats, again, I don’t want to make this sound like we’re against small movies or mumblecore or intimate ones or things that don’t fit a very classic Hollywood architecture. I’m all for experimental whatever. But in the experimental things that you’re trying to do is there are real reason why this thing should exist? Maybe it’s like some sort of video installation piece that doesn’t have to have plot or story or anything moving forward. That’s great. That’s terrific. But that’s not a movie you would be writing as a screenplay.

**Craig:** Could be a song. Could be an album. Could be a painting. There’s all sorts of ways to express yourself. Moving images on screen, whether it’s television or feature films, is really specific. It’s a very specific art form that some stories are perfectly suited to and others not at all.

**John:** Yep. All right. We’ve got two questions here to answer. Tom asks, “Have you done anything on developing and defining the concept of a franchise in TV and how that’s evolving? For example, take a classic procedural show like Chicago Fire or NYPD Blue. The traditional franchise of that show is the story of the week, usually with significant stakes. Yet it increasingly feels like the real franchise in TV shows is the interweaving of serialized relationship dramas between the characters. That’s what you keep coming back for week after week. Do you and Craig feel that the story of the week franchise model still drives television?”

**Craig:** Well, it seems like it’s been driving television for the network for quite some time. I mean, Dick Wolf, obviously our friend Derek Haas is the creator/co-creator of Chicago Fire. But that falls under the Dick Wolf empire. And he also has Law & Order and Law & Order: SVU and Law & Order: CVS. And Law & Order: IBB. And so on. And I assume that they do this a lot because it boosts ratings. It’s a good ratings event for network TV.

I mean, I get it. Networks are still pounding out 22 shows a season, you know. I mean, that’s a lot. You’ve got to give people some curve balls in there to keep them excited and keep them coming back. I don’t think this is at all the model for streaming or cable. I mean, generally speaking I don’t know of any streaming or cable property that is kind of a standalone story of the week type of show. They’re almost always serialized to some extent or another. And sometimes they’re even anthologized like American Horror Story.

So, yeah, I think it makes sense. It’s a network thing because networks have way more shows to put out there. And, hey, in return they get way more eyeballs. You got to tip your hat.

**John:** I look at the progression of the hospital show from the old ones which were incredibly straight procedural. Like you could watch them in any order and it would make sense. You have a show like ER which is largely procedural, but there was some ongoing stuff that happened week to week. And so relationships would develop and change. But if you just dropped in on an episode you could follow it completely. Grey’s Anatomy is much more the soap opera model of relationships. Like that is what you’re really focusing on. While there is medicine there, you move forward.

I think it ultimately comes back to what is the expectation of the audience as they start watching that show. Are they expecting to have ongoing relationships with these characters that grow and change that the interplay between them is really meaningful? Or are they looking for just a simple thing happens. Like the classic old Star Trek episodes you can kind of watch them in any order because it is an alien of the week that is really driving the plot of a given episode.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So it’s about expectation. And I do agree with Craig that what we’re seeing on premium cable and streaming and even increasingly now on network is much more about the relationships between the characters and not the this is the plot that is introduced at the start of the episode that will be resolved by the end of the episode.

**Craig:** Yeah. In fact streamers or at least when you look at Netflix they seem so utterly disinterested in the old model of get to this many episodes so that you can syndicate. That they will routinely cut off shows after three seasons no matter what. Because they’re just like, meh, people are still watching it, they like it, but let’s just stop spending money on it and let’s put something else in. Because the old way, the network way of doing things was, OK, you’re a production company. You’re going to deficit finance a show. It’s going to go on a network, meaning you’re not going to get in the license the network pays you it’s not enough to pay for the cost of making each show. So how does this make sense? Syndication. How do you get to syndication? You need a minimum of 100 episodes. So your show has got to be enough of a hit that it can last all that time.

Well, if you’re a streamer and you’re making your own show and putting it out there and there’s no syndication to have, it just endlessly syndicates on your own platform, cut it off. Actors are asking for too much money? Cut it off. Make a new thing. That’s where we’re going.

**John:** It is. All right, Paul writes, “I know spec scripts for TV shows are a thing. But I just finished a spec feature script for a film franchise that I definitely do not have the rights to. But I think it’s a good script and I wanted to show it to people. Is this the sort of thing that agents or whoever would be willing to look at? Or will they roll their eyes and say, “Ugh, fan fiction,” and toss it?”

So, before we answer Paul’s question, spec is such a weird term because it means a different thing in television than in features. So just as a refresher a spec script in television is a script that I write for an existing TV show. So I wasn’t hired to write it, but basically I could write a spec Chicago Fire. It’s not designed to actually be shot as Chicago Fire, but people can read it as a writing sample. So specs in TV are really writing samples.

A spec in feature is something you’re writing with the intention to sell. So you hear about a spec script selling, that is a feature thing basically.

**Craig:** Yeah. And part of the deal with that is that at least traditionally because the kind of television show you’d write a spec script for does churn out episodes and should theoretically be out next year and the year after that. And you usually write spec scripts for well-established, well liked shows. There’s a chance they could buy it. I mean, they need more episodes. They’re always going to need more episodes. They hire lots of writers. But if you’re talking about a movie, a film franchise, and just side note I hate the fact that we are all using this word “franchise” now. Like some soulless goon came up with this franchise thing to stick on top of art. It makes me nuts.

Franchises are McDonald’s, OK. But whatever, fine. We all lose. So, people have this film franchise and they’re not necessarily looking to you to write a script. They’re not going to make one or two or 12 this year. They’re going to make one every three years and they’re not looking for outside writers to deliver those. There’s just not the demand.

So, right off the bat it’s a little questionable. It is at best a sample for something. You’re never going to get full credit for it unless it’s wildly subversive. In other words, if you write a spec feature in a well-established series like Fast & Furious but it is entirely the opposite of what you would expect, it’s like one quiet evening and it’s drama and there’s no car chases whatsoever and that’s the point is that you’re being clever, maybe that would attract some eyes and people would go, oh, this is a creative individual.

But, yeah, I think mostly you’re just not going to get the credit you should because you’re borrowing other people’s characters. You’re borrowing other people’s scenarios. And you’re bothering other people’s tone. You will probably get quite a few rolled eyes and people saying, “Ugh, fan fiction.”

**John:** So, yes, I agree. You potentially could get some fan fiction knock back. I will say that when people write scripts intending them to be writing samples it is a moment for some wild swings. And so those wild swings are the things that end up on the Black List that ends up getting attention or ends up getting passed around. So if you had a great idea for a mash up of Fast & Furious and the Marvel movies that couldn’t exist in the real world and you chose to write that, you would write that knowing that this is never going to be a thing that actually sells, but some people might really dig it and it might get you some meetings. It might get you an agent. It might get you started.

So it’s not not worth your time. But understand that you’re never going to be able to sell that thing. But you’re also not going to be sued over it. They’re not going to come after you for writing a script like that because you’re not selling it. It’s fine to do that. You’re going to be OK doing that.

And it is a little bit more like what classic TV staffing was like is that I was writing a spec Frasier episode, not because I was even trying to get hired to write on Frasier, but I might want to be hired on Mad About You or some of the other shows that were staffing at the same time. So it’s an example of like can I use other people’s characters and write those voices.

Mindy Kaling on Twitter recently was talking about staffing for her show and she was like why doesn’t anybody write spec scripts anymore. Like I love reading specs of existing shows because I know the voices of those characters and I can see very quickly whether you can actually write the voices of those characters. And to her it was more helpful to see like not that you had a brilliant original voice of your own, but that you could actually write the voice of these other existing shows.

So it goes back and forth. There’s reasons why both things exist. But I would say to Paul if he has the compelling idea and he probably also has some other original things he’s written and he wants to write this thing that he can’t actually sell, maybe.

**Craig:** Yeah. I’m a little concerned that that’s your one thing. If you’ve got three things, and that’s one of them that’s fine. But if your one thing is that I’m concerned that you are doing fan fiction and that you aren’t capable of doing a script without that kind of Hamburger Helper. So I would challenge you, Paul, to do a script without the Hamburger Helper. See how you do.

**John:** Agreed. All right, it’s time for our One Cool Things. I actually have two this week–

**Craig:** Thank god.

**John:** But they’re both music related and it was a good week for music for me. The first is Taylor Swift did a Tiny Desk concert for NPR. It’s the ongoing NPR series where they invite in musicians and they perform a little concert in the NPR offices. What I liked about hers was not so much the performance but her talking between the songs. So there was no interviewer. She was just talking about writing the songs. And she talked about this one song Lover which was the title track on the album just sort of came to her all at once and it was the fantasy of like, oh, she sat down at the piano, the whole thing was there. She didn’t know where it came from. And she was like well that will be the title track. Like it all just works. But sometimes you show up at the piano and it just doesn’t work and that’s when you fall back on your craft to try to figure out how stuff fits together and how to make the thing work.

And it was just nice to hear somebody in a completely field talk about what I often experience. There are those moments where it just all flows so naturally and you don’t even know where it all came from. And other times when it’s a lot of craft and it’s a lot of pushing stuff around and making it work.

So, I’d encourage you to take a look at that. The second thing, Craig, I think you’ll appreciate.

**Craig:** I love this. I read it. I gobbled it up.

**John:** Seth Stevenson at Slate wrote a piece about The Terminator theme. And we’ll play this here so you can hear what we’re talking about. As you listen to it [music plays] it’s striking but a thing I used to do with my daughter in the car is as the radio was playing I’d ask her what count is this song in. And so she’d clap her hands and she’d figure out whether it was four, or three, or six. And very quickly sort of be able to figure out music tends to be three, four, six. Every once in a while you’ll get something really fancy. You’ll get like a take five, which is in five-four.

As you’re listening to this Terminator theme what time signature is this? And so you can try to count in four but it doesn’t work. You can try to count it in six, and it doesn’t work. And so there’s ongoing debate about it. So Seth Stevenson was able to go to the composer to actually talk to him about what happened. And the reason why it’s in such a crazy time signature is because of how it was actually made and sort of the state of looping software back in those times. And basically he couldn’t make the times match up right so it ended up in this impossible time signature that would be very hard for an orchestra to play for example.

So I thought it was just a great example of math and music and movies, so a combination of all the things we love.

**Craig:** They run it through carefully and come up with 13-16. It’s in 13-16. So, really what’s happening is it’s in a weird decimal of a four. I mean, whatever 13 divided by four is. What is that?

**John:** 12 and a fourth. Four, four and a quarter. Basically there’s an extra quarter.

**Craig:** Extra quarter note.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** It’s so weird. It is a bizarre – it’s like so if you were to express four-four time in 16ths then it’s just 16 number 16. Easy. And three-four time is 12 over 16. So, 13 over 16 is almost in three but there’s a little extra bit. It’s like a tiny little extra bit in there. It is bizarre. You would never do it on purpose.

I mean, I love weird time signature stuff. I mean, if you want to look at some crazy time signature stuff Here Comes the Sun has some wacky crap that happens in it just for a few measures here and there. Led Zeppelin pulls out a nine-eight at one point I think for The Ocean. And then we have Solsbury Hill in seven-four, which is always fun. I like the songs in seven. And seven is really just alternating four and three I think. This is where musicians will probably get angry at me, but that’s how I kind of think of it.

**John:** Yeah. So take a look at it. Take a listen to it. I like that Seth Stevenson had a question and actually tracked down the composer to find the answer.

**Craig:** Yeah. Beautiful. Wonderful job. Well, you know what. You had two. That covers me. I feel great.

**John:** Good. That’s our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. Thanks to Megana and to Bo for their help this week.

**Craig:** Indeed.

**John:** It was edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Tyler Adams. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions or assistant emails.

For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts. You can find all the back episodes of the show at Scriptnotes.net. You can also download 50-episode seasons at store.johnaugust.com.

Craig, thanks so much for a jam-packed episode.

**Craig:** Thanks man.

**John:** Cool. Bye.

Links:

* [Austin Film Festival Schedule](https://austinfilmfestival.com/festival-and-conference-aff/2019-full-schedule/)
* Taylor Swift [Tiny Desk Concert on NPR](https://www.npr.org/2019/10/16/770318649/taylor-swift-tiny-desk-concert)
* [What Is the Time Signature of the Ominous Electronic Score of The Terminator?](https://slate.com/culture/2014/02/the-time-signature-of-the-terminator-score-is-a-mystery-for-the-ages.html) by Seth Stevenson
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Tyler Adams ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_423_minimum_viable_movie.mp3)

Scriptnotes, Ep 419: Professionalism

October 30, 2019 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2019/professionalism).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My Craig Mazin name is.

**John:** And this is Episode 419 of Scriptnotes. Craig, what is Scriptnotes?

**Craig:** Scriptnotes is a podcast about things that are interesting to screenwriters. And screenwriting.

**John:** Everything is mixed up today.

**Craig:** Yeah. I love it. It’s a Backwards Day. I like it.

**John:** This is the grab-baggiest of episodes. We’re going to be talking about everything from Emmys to elections, professionalism, to patronage. Lots of stuff, so let’s get into it.

Craig, this Sunday were the Emmys. I can’t believe this day has finally come. The Emmys were on Sunday. Unfortunately this is Friday that we’re recording this so we have no idea what happened on Sunday.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** So, I want to propose something.

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** Let’s record both versions. Let’s record the versions where you had a spectacular Sunday where you won a bunch of awards, and then we’ll record the one where you didn’t.

**Craig:** Got it. We actually should record three. We should record Chernobyl wins an award for something, but I don’t win. I win, Chernobyl wins nothing.

**John:** Great. So let’s do the big sweep where you win and Chernobyl wins. You were there for two awards. You picked up both of those statues. I was so excited to see you up there on stage. I thought your speech was fantastic.

**Craig:** Aw, thank you.

**John:** I was just beaming with pride because listeners like me have been following this whole journey. And you were away from the show for a while and you made this thing. And it was great closure to see you up there on that stage. I’m so happy and proud for you.

**Craig:** Boy, John, it’s weird up there. It’s so surreal.

**John:** Well, I saw you took a beat.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** I saw you took a beat and just took it all in.

**Craig:** Yeah. I was thinking of you during that beat. And then, yeah, it’s just so weird. Boy, that room is so big and the lights are really bright in your eyes. And of course you’re worried that you’re not going to have enough time. They’re going to play you off the stage which they did/did not do. And, yeah, a great night. It didn’t matter. Win or lose you’re just happy to be there amongst your peers. [laughs]

**John:** Yeah. You can’t take away the fact that you made something amazing and to be just celebrated up there on the stage for it was just icing on the cake.

**Craig:** Well golly.

**John:** Next version, so you don’t win the writing award but you do win the limited series award. Craig, it’s hard to even call this a mixed outcome because like Best Limited Series, congratulations.

**Craig:** Sure. Thank you. You know what? At this point you try and parse the achievement of making a show into individual awards just doesn’t even make logical sense anymore. So, you just have to go, you know what? We were nominated for lots of stuff and we’re super proud of that. If you win anything that’s amazing, especially in a year like this where we had such incredible competition. Congrats to Ava DuVernay and When They See Us for all the awards that they picked up. I think that’s a pretty good prediction right there.

And but to all of the great shows in our category. I mean, what a year. So, you know who the real winners were John? Television watchers. [laughs]

**John:** Well absolutely. And I think the Best Limited Series acknowledges the fact that this thing would not exist if you had not had the idea – if you had not been surfing Wikipedia and finding this information about the Chernobyl disaster, thinking like this is potentially a show. So that award is your award and it all came from the writing.

**Craig:** Well, listen, that’s the wonderful thing about television is that the writers are in charge, which is probably why television is so much better than movies right now. You know, movies, take note.

**John:** Yes. And I thought you saying that in your awards acceptance speech was absolutely appropriate.

**Craig:** Pretty crazy, right? Like what a weird axe to grind.

**John:** At the Emmy Awards. All right, third option. So Sunday were the Emmys. You got to go and see all the celebration for your show which was nominated.

**Craig:** See other people win.

**John:** So, while I was disappointed not to see you up there on that stage, I love when they do the cutaway shots to the people in the audience as their names are called. And to see you there with Melissa was just great. And I was just really proud to see you there, honored for what you have made.

**Craig:** Well, John, as you know I got into writing so that I could be on television. Actually, you probably noticed, I don’t know if they cutaway beforehand or not, but right when they announced that Ava DuVernay kept winning everything you probably noticed me turn behind me, to the left of me, to the right of me, ahead of me – depending on how it goes – to find Alec Berg and sort of give him a, “Yeah, I get it, now I know what it feels like.” Because, you know, again, poor Alec. 21 nominations. 0 for 21. But side note, that’s a pretty decent prediction. I think, I’m not trying to jinx Alec. I think it’s going to be a tough road to hoe for him. But back to the alternate reality.

Yeah, but you know what? Honestly, we didn’t go in expecting to win anything and we were so proud of our crafts people, our below the line people that won lots of awards the week before. We felt great. And it was an amazing year for television and for limited series. Hats off to Ava. Great job on that series. Wonderful show. So, we’re pleased as punch that the season of awards is over.

**John:** Yes, for sure. But you also had one extra special visit that happened this last week. Apparently you got to meet the President of Ukraine?

**Craig:** I met the President of Ukraine. I visited him. So this is a fascinating thing. There’s a conference in Ukraine, it’s an annual conference called the Yalta European Summit. It used to take place in Yalta, which is in Crimea. It no longer does because Russia has invaded Crimea. So it is in Kiev, Ukraine. And it is attended by all sorts of – you know, John, we run in Hollywood circles, right. So we always feel like, ooh, look at this party. It’s got all of the hoo-ha people.

**John:** Oh, Natalie Portman.

**Craig:** Yeah, ooh, Natalie Portman. Or, ooh, Jim Gianopulos. In this thing the hoo-ha people are like, ooh, look, Steven Pinker, and Fareed Zakaria, and the ambassador from a country to another country. It’s very fancy.

So I went there and Fareed Zakaria interviewed me on stage about Chernobyl. And then I was heading to the airport to come home and the man who runs this whole thing said, “Oh, by the way, the President of Ukraine would like to meet you if you could delay a little bit.” And I said, yeah, I want to meet the President of Ukraine. And so I went to the President of Ukraine’s office, in this very large building that used to be the Party Headquarters back in the Soviet Days. This beautiful building.

I’d never met a president before. I’ve never gotten to say, “Well hello Mr. President.” It was very cool. And here’s the cool thing about President Zelensky. He’s just been elected. And he’s one of us, John. He’s a writer-performer-comedian-entertainer. He comes out of the entertainment business in Ukraine. And it was a great conversation. We talked a lot about film production and how to help bring film production to Ukraine. They really want to get more shows shooting there, which I thought was great. And in no way did I involve myself in any kind of weird whistleblowing scandal.

**John:** Did you make any promises to him that were listened in by intelligence officers? None of that stuff happened?

**Craig:** No. In fact, quite the opposite. At one point during the conversation we were talking about some ideas and things and he said, “You know, just to be clear we’re just talking.” I said, oh no, we’re not making the laws or anything. [laughs] I’m an idiot. You know that, right? I’m stupid.

He was great. He’s a terrific guy. At least that was my impression of him. I can’t necessarily speak to how he – I hope for the sake of Ukraine and the Ukrainian people that he does a great job. He’s got an excellent – currently he’s at like 80% popularity. Do you remember when our president got an 80% popularity?

**John:** That was a different universe.

**Craig:** Yup.

**John:** I do fear that the transcripts as people look back on this episode, you know, five years down the road something could go terribly wrong. But for this moment it was neat that you got to meet the President of Ukraine.

**Craig:** So you’re saying like there will be some crazy war or genocide and then we’ll have the equivalent of me on tape going, “Yeah, so Hitler, he seemed like a great guy. We had a great conversation.” No.

**John:** He’s really a film person. He’s an entertainer.

**Craig:** He’s an artist. He loves to paint. You know, he’s adorable. He’s cute. He’s got a great mustache. No, I’m very hopeful for Ukraine that President Zelensky does a great job. I don’t know anything about politics. At least Ukrainian politics. I know nothing. I’m mostly just optimistic and hopeful for them. But, yeah, that was weird.

**John:** Yeah. It’s also – stepping away from the President of Ukraine, it’s cool you got to travel in the circles of big thinkers who write big books about the future of the world.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So that’s nice.

**Craig:** I felt highly unqualified. There were some really impressive, very famous historians and thinkers and politicians and people. So, but it did remind me that we actually do have quite an impact on the world around us. It’s like this podcast. You know how we’re always surprised – or maybe you’re not, but I’m always surprised when people say they listen to the podcast, like Chris O’Dowd. I was so surprised that he listens to the podcast. I’m endlessly surprised that anyone listens to it. But they do. And similarly with television you make a show and you put it out there but they might tell you, oh, this many millions of people watched it, but the number doesn’t connect in your mind to reality. And then you realize, oh yeah, these people all watched it and they have feelings about it, you know. And happily for us the overwhelming opinion of folks there in Kiev was very positive towards our show which was huge, wonderful.

**John:** The show where it’s set. So, yes, good to hear.

**Craig:** Yes, very good.

**John:** So the Emmy season is over but also another important season is over. The WGA election season, which was endless.

**Craig:** Aw. Too soon. [laughs]

**John:** Too soon. Oh god, not a moment too soon. I don’t know why, it’s probably there’s a constitutional reason why the voting period has to be so long, but Craig it was too long. It went on forever.

**Craig:** The reason is that the constitution that governs these things was written in the ‘40s I believe, you know, back when people had to vote by mail only and all the information you got came by mail.

**John:** True.

**Craig:** Or meetings that you had to go to. There was no Internet. There was no social media. So what’s happened is let’s say there was X amount of political content to which you would be exposed as a writer. Now there is 1,000 X political content that you are being exposed to as a writer in this election. It’s too long. They should shorten it because the amount of information that we’re bombarded with is insane. And it’s just too much.

**John:** It is too much. But let’s talk about the end result of this before we get into process and–

**Craig:** It was great.

**John:** [laughs] So in the East Beau Willimon was reelected along with some other folks who are supportive of the agency campaign. In the West a total of 5,809 valid ballots were cast which was 58% of eligible votes, which is a nice round number. It’s about 10,000 voters, people who could vote. So that was record turnout in the West. And more than doubles the turnout of the 2018 Board of Directors election. So David Goodman and the incumbents were reelected along with the four newcomers who I endorsed by a lot. So Goodman won 3-to-1. Everybody else was at least 2-to-1. So it was a significant victory for that group of people who are sort of a steady line from where we’ve been.

**Craig:** Yeah. No question. And I think this was essentially a foregone conclusion almost from the start. I mean, I didn’t think it would be otherwise. There’s some interesting things that come out of this. By the way, and one of them is that also just to be clear in case people were wondering, if I had been able to stay in the race I also would have lost. There’s no question. It’s interesting, the most important thing I hope that our membership takes away from this, particularly the people that did vote for the people who won, is that the election was not damaging to our union. That this kind of open discussion and debate did not destroy us. Nor did it topple their preferred candidates to the ground.

There was almost, I want to call it like a paranoia, or a fear that something that they loved very much or cared about very deeply was going to be destroyed by people from within. And that did not happen. Point being you can survive elections, and I’m saying this especially to guild members who never really saw one of these before because unfortunately and anomalously the last three presidential elections have essentially been uncontested, which is not the traditional WGA way. This is the traditional WGA election.

So, good news is we can survive these. They’re very good for us. They’re good to discuss. And the other thing that’s important to note for people like me who are questioning the way the leadership is going about pursuing a conclusion, a potential conclusion, to our agency campaign is that the amount of people that seemed to dissent from the way the leadership is doing this has roughly quadrupled since we took our first vote on it back in whatever it was, March or April. Back then it was 95%, about 400 people said no to that. I was not one of them. I was like you, I said yes.

About ish, averaging around 1,600 people voted against leadership, so something is happening. It’s worth noting. Those people are not in power. The people who are in power are in power. But there is a trend. So I’m hoping that leadership has taken notice of that and will consider it as they now go about, I don’t know, doing what they’re going to do.

**John:** I would say at all of the membership meetings, and I don’t know if you’ve listened to any of the audio from the membership meetings, the current leadership was very up front about the fact recognizing that five months into this dissent has grown. There’s folks who are unhappy with how all of this is being conducted. And sort of worried about the outcome of things. And so I think that was reflected in some of that voting there. But I think a probably more crucial takeaway is that there was this worry I think that in the fatigue and in this thing going on that people would just start tuning out. They would start paying attention and just kind of want to be done or just shut it all out.

And I think the fact that there was record turnout, that Goodman was elected by a huge majority than even he was elected when he was uncontested speaks to a support for a resolution with the current people in place.

**Craig:** You mean he got more votes this time.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** I mean, he can’t do better than 100%

**John:** It is hard to do that math. At least in a democratic system, yes.

**Craig:** Correct. The turnout was very encouraging. You want to see writers engaged. And this is my point to everybody that was kind of freaking out. I’m sorry. They kind of were. I was shocked. The worst possible instinct we could have as a union and as a membership polity is to be against free and open elections and campaigns. And I love to see that people were engaged and got engaged and voted. I think this is exactly the way it should go. I’m thrilled. And I hope that the people take some sort of – now that they’ve gone through it maybe they’ll feel a little less insecure about it the next time through.

**John:** The one thing I do want to bring up because this is a thing I’ve seen and grousing on the edges of the Internet is like, “Oh, those folks who voted for it aren’t even really working writers.” And that is not accurate. I mean, in order to be a voting member people should know it’s not that you sell a script and then 20 years later you’re still a voting member. You’re not. You have to sort of keep working in order to maintain your current status. And so for 2018 there were 6,057 who reported earnings. So there are a lot of working writers who are the voting membership of the WGA.

**Craig:** Yeah, you hear this a lot. I mean, yes, technically you can have people – well, there are two kinds of writers who can vote who are not working writers. Your initial membership period is seven years. So, when you become a WGA member you have seven years to vote before you’re going to have to show some additional employment. So, yeah, some people theoretically are on year six of their seven without working. And there’s also quite a few people that are what we call lifetime current members. So you and I would certainly qualify. Once you have – I think it’s 15 years.

**John:** 15 years, yes.

**Craig:** Yeah, of being current active you become lifetime. 15 years is actually not that much. So there are a lot of people who are current lifetime members which means they’re going to vote forever until they die. And, yeah, so sure. But the truth is, OK, we don’t know how they vote. I mean, it’s tempting for some people to say, “Well, some people, they’re not working so it’s easy for them to vote for a strike or to vote to fire your agents.” I guess, but I think a lot of people who aren’t working also feel like, no, it’s important that the guild to not go on strike or not fire their agents. There’s no science to that is my point.

**John:** I would agree.

**Craig:** But I will say if I could, if I could wave a magic wand, I would, I don’t know about this lifetime – I don’t know if people should be voting forever. I actually worry about that. Because we’re getting older longer. Right? And there is a world in which you have more people voting in a union who are lifetime current members than current active members, which would be a disaster. That’s not what you want. So I wonder about that sometimes.

**John:** Yeah. And so this is not a thing that I’ve been spending time thinking about, so I’m just going to wonder aloud. Perhaps a reason why lifetime current members should be able to vote is that the actions of the guild now still have a bearing on their income and sort of their ability to do things. So, the degree to which leadership of the WGA can set broad policies that would affect – I mean, pension is a separate thing. So I’m trying to think the degree to which elected leadership would have a bearing on a person who is essentially no longer employed is interesting. I don’t know.

**Craig:** You’re right. It’s a tricky one. Because most unions do not have this. I mean, most unions it’s like if you’re not working, you’re not working you’re not voting. I’m pretty sure. I don’t think this is a common thing where you get to vote for the rest of your life even though you haven’t worked in 30 years which is the case for some people.

I don’t think when you and I first started in the union I don’t think it was as big of a deal because, well A, people didn’t live quite as long as they do now. And there were fewer people that had been employed up to that point. And also the guild was a little bit more homogenous in its thinking. But as things polarize a little bit, which seems to be the trend everywhere in the world. Thank you social media. And as people live longer I can see a potential issue on the horizon. And I say that as somebody who would be a beneficially of being a lifetime current member. That maybe, you know, maybe after – cap it. Like if you haven’t worked in 10 years maybe no more. Maybe you should stop voting.

It’s a thought. I can see the gray army – the art militia is marching to my house. But, hey, guys, I’m old too.

**John:** This feels like one of those questions where if this was debate team you could argue either side and have really good arguments to list either side. So maybe that’s why it’s an interesting debate question.

The one thing that probably every member can agree on is that there were a lot of emails and sometimes those emails that came from the WGA [unintelligible] which basically candidates and sometimes even non-members can spend some money and send out an email blast to all WGA members. People got frustrated by that. I would say it’s part of the democratic process. I don’t want to limit that. I think structurally I don’t think anything should change. I just recognize that as it got later into the voting season people got more and more annoyed by those. And I think it did not help the people who were sending those emails late in the process.

**Craig:** Well, everybody was sending them so if it didn’t help people it didn’t help people equally. But I agree with you. It’s part of the process. Communicating to the membership is important. What I think would help us is what you suggested right off the top, just shortening the season.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So, it’s one thing to get bombarded with emails for a month. It’s another thing to get bombarded with emails for three months, or whatever it was. Right? July, August, September. Ish. 2.5 months. So, I saw people complaining about it and I just found it absurd. Like, aw, you poor baby, you had to see an email? Aw, you had to press delete? Aw. You were born in 2002. Yeah, that’s right. I just took a shot at millennials like every other old, cranky dick. I don’t care.

**John:** Craig, do you know who is not going to fix this problem?

**Craig:** Who?

**John:** Me. I’m not on the board anymore.

**Craig:** By the way, we’re both free, right?

**John:** We’re both free.

**Craig:** We’re both free because you’re free-free, and now I can be even more of a jerk than I already was because I don’t have to worry about including you in people I’m yelling at.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Because I love you.

**John:** Aw, Craig, I love you, too.

**Craig:** I don’t give a shit about the rest of these people, so gloves are off.

**John:** All right. Let’s move on to our next topic. So this past week Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, the reporters who originally broke the Harvey Weinstein story for the New York Times back in 2017 released their book She Said. Revealed new information about the secret settlements and non-disclosure agreements that allowed Weinstein and other powerful men to get away with what they were doing.

A lot of the tension this past week was focused on the celebrity feminist mother-daughter team of Gloria Allred and Lisa Bloom. And this was an area of the story that I wasn’t really aware of. And reading it and listening to it I was struck by a couple things. First off, it’s always good to check in and see sort of where we’re at in this post-Weinstein era in terms of how we’re dealing with just terrible men doing terrible things.

But this new wrinkle in it very much felt like a How Would This Be a Movie kind of twist to it because it was such a fascinating lens to be looking at this story through of these women who were known as crusaders for victims’ rights for women who were – in the case of Bloom working for the other side. There’s a letter we can link to which is especially damning in terms of outlining the strategy for how she would protect Weinstein.

**Craig:** I haven’t had a chance to read this but it does strike me that in all likelihood this is our generation’s All the President’s Men. I mean, it feels like this is a great story of two heretofore unknown journalists blowing open a story that changes our culture permanently. And so we have heroes.

**John:** And I would add Ronan Farrow into that, too, in the sense that there’s a whole collection of folks who are trying to do things and other journalists along the way who were frustrated that they weren’t able to get anyone to go on record.

**Craig:** Exactly. And so you have your protagonists in that sense. And there is an achievement at the end that is undeniable. And I think it’s, well, it’s just great to see stories again where people achieve and change the world with their minds and not with their jet-packs and super-serums and laser eyes. Because that’s real. And I’m thrilled that it happened.

I, like you, was not prepared for the arrival of new villains. Right? So you think the villain is Harvey and Les Moonves, et cetera, et cetera. And then you get this letter from Lisa Bloom that is just jaw-dropping.

**John:** So Megana our producer was asking at lunch, you know, to what degree was all of this an open secret. Because I see that term in quotes “open secret” in a lot of the coverage about this. Like, “Oh, Harvey Weinstein’s behavior was an ‘open secret.’” And I was having a hard time answering her because it depends on sort of what you mean what was the secret. I would say that through my Hollywood career I knew that he was an asshole. I knew that he was abusive. And I think I had a sense that there was a casting couch but I’m putting that in air quotes here because how did I think that this was a benign consensual casting couch. As we’re looking for villains, as I’m looking at myself as a villain, I think to have so misframed that in my head is one of the things I’m going to be sort of reckoning with and I think a lot of folks will be reckoning with as we take a look at these powerful men being brought down.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, I’m currently writing a book about you as the villain. [laughs] You’re at the center of all of this.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** Well, listen, and I can answer Megana’s question as best I can from my perspective, because I worked for the Weinsteins for a number of years. Almost exclusively for Bob which I can assure you was not a delight by any stretch of the imagination. But I had my run-ins with Harvey. I had no idea, none, zero that there was any kind of non-consensual sexual activity going on. The rumors that I heard were that certain female actors had engaged in a quid pro quo with Harvey, where consensually there was an agreement. I will sleep with you and you will put me in this movie. Which is gross. It’s not illegal. It’s unethical. It’s gross. It is a kind of abuse. There’s no question of that. It’s an abuse of power. Not to mention – also forgotten that he’s married to another woman. There’s a billion rules he’s broken but not a law.

So, it seemed scummy but it didn’t seem like a criminal thing that made you want to hurl. That was what I thought the open secret was, and even then I kind of didn’t really believe it. I’ve got to be honest with you. I thought it felt like a rumor mill thing that seemed a bit misogynistic. Like, oh, so and so couldn’t have been an actor unless she slept with Harvey. And the names that were being thrown around I thought, um, no, I think they would have been just fine. They’re good at their jobs. And they’re beautiful. And they check a lot of boxes for what a star should look like in the year say 2003.

So, that’s about as much as I knew. I would imagine other people, well certainly people inside. We know now from this book for instance, from the Kantor and Twohey book that certainly Bob knew. He claims to not know. But he knew.

**John:** Yeah. I think it’s always worth asking what’s happening right now that is analogous that we’re not paying attention to. Like what are the things that five years, ten years down the road we’ll be asking, hey, was that an open secret? How were you letting this go on? I think it’s always worth doing the introspection to look around and see what is happening in the industry right now that will seem shocking down the road.

And I don’t have an answer for that but I think it’s always good to be asking that question.

**Craig:** Oh, yeah. That is a good one.

**John:** That can be a thinker. I don’t know that we’ll have an answer today.

**Craig:** I’ve got to be honest with you. I’m the last person who will come up with the answer to that. I’ve always felt quite sheltered. I don’t know, like self-sheltered from – like I’ve never been to a Hollywood party in 25 years where I’ve seen people doing drugs. Do you know how hard that must be to do? [laughs] You know?

**John:** I’ve never seen anyone do cocaine. I’ve never done cocaine. I’ve never seen anyone do cocaine. And yet I see it in movies all the time.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** So people are doing it. But I’ve never seen it.

**Craig:** Have you ever seen cocaine?

**John:** I’ve never seen cocaine.

**Craig:** I’ve never seen cocaine either. This is why you and I are perfect for each other. We’re the only two people I think in Hollywood and possibly in the world that have never seen cocaine. I’m not sure it’s even real. [laughs] It may be a thing that they’ve just invented for movies. It’s fake. I’ve never even seen it. So, we’re not – you and I will be the last people to know is my point.

**John:** Yeah. We’re just off playing D&D while everyone else is doing drugs.

**Craig:** Doing the drugs.

**John:** All of the drugs.

**Craig:** All the drugs.

**John:** So that might be an invitation to listeners. If you think that there is a thing that we’re not paying attention to that could be thing ten years from now. Like how the hell were you not paying attention to that? Write in. Tell us that. Because I’ll be curious what you guys think.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** I also need your opinion some bit of housekeeping here. So Scriptnotes has always been and will always be free every week. It has no ads so we don’t make money in sort of the traditional podcast ways.

**Craig:** I don’t make money.

**John:** I know. But we do have expenses. So, mostly salaries. We pay for Megana, our producer. Matthew Chilelli who is our editor. And John who does our transcripts. We also pay for the servers. So there are some costs. To allay those costs we have the premium feed, so that is all the back episodes of Scriptnotes and the transcripts, the Scriptnotes app. More than 3,000 of you out there are premium feed members so thank you very much for doing that. That’s $2 a month.

But there’s some issues. And so right now we’re doing our premium stuff through Libsyn and they’re the hosting company. And they do a good job sort of getting stuff out there, but the app is not great. We’ve had some problems with the app. And Megana has being a lot of work with the Libsyn folks to try to get the app fixed up. We don’t actually make the app. We just brand it.

And if you go on their website it looks like it’s from 1999. And that shouldn’t be a big thing but I don’t have great faith in parts of it. So as I look at other podcasts out there, a lot of them are on Patreon. We’re considering moving over to Patreon. But I would love to hear folks’ opinions on should we make a switch over there. Are they happy enough with sort of what we have?

If we move over to Patreon the Scriptnotes app would eventually stop working. Is that a big deal? So I need listeners to tell us what you think about moving over to a different place.

**Craig:** You know, I think we should. I’m a listener. I’m actually not a listener as you know. I’m just a talker. But I love change. Before you laugh at me, I do like technological change. I do like every now and then taking a look at what you’ve gotten used to technologically and then saying let me do a little bit of research and see if there’s something better out there. Because generally speaking there is.

So, I think we should change. No offense to Libsyn. I say let’s do it. Let’s go and do it.

**John:** All right. So I will say, we’ll get your feedback. If we do make the switch we’ll keep both things running for a while. So it’s not like Libsyn will suddenly get shut off and Patreon will take over. We’ll figure out some way so that if you’re currently burning through your catalog on the app the app will keep working for a while. And if we transition there will be a grace period hopefully moving between the two of them. So, just letting people know that there might be a change in the offing here.

**Craig:** I’m excited. Change is good.

**John:** Cool. All right. So this year at the Austin Film Festival you will be there, but I will not be there because I’m going to be giving a speech that I promised to give. It’s a prestigious speech back at my alma mater. And I want to talk a little bit about what my topic is because it’s a speech that I gave way back in 2006 and I’m giving an updated version of the speech. And it’s on professionalism. And it feels like a good topic for Scriptnotes overall because the original topic for the speech was professional writing in the rise of the amateur. And sort of that weird tension between what it means to be professional and what it means to be an amateur.

In my initial speech I argue that professionalism has five basic characteristics. First is presentation, AKA giving a shit. Accuracy. Consistency. Accountability. And peer standards. And what I was trying to do is distinguish between professionalism from getting paid for it, because we tend to think of pro as being like a pro athlete who gets paid and an amateur athlete who doesn’t get paid. And I was arguing that much more important is how you’re perceiving your own work and how you are – the standards you’re holding yourself to and the standards that others are holding yourself to that determines professional from unprofessional.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Craig, are those characteristics useful metrics for you for whether someone is acting professionally?

**Craig:** They are. I think there is a – I’m going to add one. And it’s humility. And here’s why I’m adding it. Because we’re in an interesting time right now where a lot of people – in a fantastic way a bunch of fake, bad barriers to entry are being dismantled. And a lot of cruel pointless downward pressures are being eliminated. And I think a number of people are saying, “Listen, one of the things that’s really important to do is not be shy, not be self-deprecating, stand up for yourself, self-promote. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you’ve done well.” All those things are true.

But what I sometimes see is it’s being done – because it’s sometimes an unnatural thing for people to do. So what ends up happening is it’s done in a kind of calculated way and what’s missing therefore is an honest element of humility.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And I think that professionals should – and typically do have a certain kind of humility that comes with understanding that no matter how good you do, no matter how well you do, no matter how much you’ve learned, no matter how much experience you have there’s somebody who is better than you. And that’s a wonderful thing. It means that there is room to grow.

And it keeps you I think – it keeps your feet on the ground. And it prevents what I would call healthy self-regard and self-promotion from becoming a kind of braggy, almost insecure kind of promotion. So, I think humility is really important. I try and – well, I don’t have to try. I wake up in the morning feeling terrible [laughs], so that’s easy. But I honestly as a professional when I meet another professional who I think is really good who is humble in a kind of honest way without being self-deprecating or self-damaging, it really matters. I notice it and it means a lot. And I love that.

**John:** You and I can both think of some screenwriters who are really good at their job but they are lacking any humility. And —

**Craig:** Oh god.

**John:** And they – you marginalize them because of their lack of humility. And so – and I think it’s great that you’re drawing a distinction between – you can be proud of your work, you can be proud of your presentation, you can really be focused on the hustle that gets you forward, but always having the humility to ask what if I’m wrong. Or, you know, to acknowledge that there’s others out there who are doing great work as well. I think it allows sort of a self-correcting aspect which is really crucial.

**Craig:** Correct. And I will also say that when a writer talks about something they love, let’s say I’m reading a line and there’s a writer, she’s saying, “I read this script by this person. I think it’s amazing and here’s why.” My heart just pops open. Because that to me – that’s when I go, OK, you are – I love what you’re saying and how you’re thinking. I love the fact that you’re talking about someone else. I think it’s amazing when people do that. That to me is where I really actually come to respect the person doing the praising, even more than perhaps the person they’re praising.

It’s when people start banging their own gong kind of without any sense of context or humility that I just go, OK, well you know what would be really cool? If somebody else said this about you. That would be amazing. Right? And so I love saying great things about other writers online that I love and respect and admire. I think it’s a really healthy part of being a professional. Again, I’m not saying you have to stop saying that you’ve done something good. I’m just saying maybe every – just pare it. If you’re going to sort of talk about look what I did, isn’t that awesome, hire me, pay me. These are good things, right? Also, take a look at what that person did. And hire them and pay them, too. That’s a helpful thing.

**John:** Agreed. So I’m going to put a link in the show notes to the existing speech which was back in 2006. But part of why I’m bringing it up here is that I feel like there’s a lot that needs to be updated just in terms of what’s changed in the world and also I think some of my assumptions or my – I was writing for a slightly different world but also I think my views have changed a bit.

So clearly some things have changed. As I wrote this initial essay I was talking about websites. And now of course websites are social media. And so, you know, writing a blog post is a bigger effort than sending off a tweet. And so I think a lot more people are public-facing enterprises in ways that they weren’t back in the day. And so what does professionalism mean in a tweet is a different thing. It’s not just about – it’s not the grammar but it’s looking at how are you engaging with the wider world. Are you being fair to the people that you are calling out? Call out culture in general. The cycle of outrage is something that is very different.

And I see writers piling on in ways that are just not helpful or good or professionalism. And certainly doesn’t show any of those five or now six characteristics that we’re looking for in a professional.

I look at #MeToo and the degree to which I think sometimes professionalism can be used as synonymous with keeping your mouth shut. And that wasn’t good.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm. No.

**John:** That didn’t work out. I look at Donald Trump and breaking all norms and having no shame. Having no humility whatsoever.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And so I think we have to acknowledge that it’s tougher to argue that the only way to be successful is to be professional when you have the most unprofessional person I can imagine running the country.

**Craig:** Is he? [laughs] Is he running anything?

**John:** I don’t know.

**Craig:** Don’t you just think that they just give that baby a rattle in the morning and then tuck him in at night with a hamburger.

**John:** Yeah. I mean, somehow he got there.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** We can parse all the things that happened but it makes it tough to aspire to the highest standards when you see that the person who got the highest office has none of those standards.

**Craig:** Yeah. This is when it’s the hardest – it’s easy to be a professional when it’s not hard to be a professional. And it’s hard to be a professional when it’s hard to be a professional. And when you’re surrounded by amateurs and when it is amateur hour and when you are tempted to stand up and say, “Does anyone in this room understand how stupid you all are and how under-qualified you all are and how over-authorized you all are?” Those are the moments where it’s really hard to maintain your professionalism. And yet generally speaking when you blow it you blow it. You know?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** You just have to kind of be patient. It’s the worst. And it’s not fair and it’s particularly not fair to people who have historically been excluded to finally arrive and then be told, “Oh, and also now you have to be patient again because for this, and this, and this.” And I understand why people don’t want to be patient. And in some circumstances they shouldn’t. You know, I know I’m old school. I know that. But by and large being professional in the long run will accrue to your benefit. I believe that as an article of faith.

**John:** Yes. I would say that part of being professional is sort of peer standards and I think we have to acknowledge that for a very long time those peer standards were set by, you know, straight white men.

**Craig:** Yes. Yes.

**John:** And so what was professional was their expectation. And so they could use unprofessional as a cudgel against anybody who didn’t match those things. And so we always have to be questioning and challenging what those things are. And so code switching as an example of using different speech with different people that’s a natural thing. And so that we don’t recognize that people who are working for us are going to do that is ridiculous. And we have to sort of broaden our expectations of what is appropriate in different places. And that people’s backgrounds are going to influence how they are presenting themselves and that’s natural.

And that you sort of want people working for you that reflect a wide range of experience because that’s the only way you’re going to be getting all the information that you should be getting in.

**Craig:** Yeah. And to be clear, being professional doesn’t mean that suddenly solomonically you know exactly what the answer to every conflict is. We are now in a space where we are running into conflicts that we weren’t expecting or hadn’t previously defined and we’re not quite sure what to do about them at times. I’m speaking about people that are in authority and have the ability to make decisions or set policy. We’re all learning to some extent together. And negotiating together. And, of course – and this is the big secret – people are individuals. So we can come up with policies and conventional wisdoms but for certain individuals they just don’t agree. I mean, it’s hard, right? You can’t just say, “Well, in general the way we should treat this group of people is blankety-blank.”

90% of those people will say, “Yes, thank you.” And 10% will say, “I hate that.” So now what do you do if some of those 10% are in your room working for you? It’s really – I think we have to give each other a little bit of a break while we figure this out.

**John:** Yeah. And on the topic of figuring stuff out, like a thing that came up recently was Walter Mosley, a great writer, who left the writers’ room of Star Trek Discovery because he used the N-word. Walter Mosley is black. And so is it fair for Walter Mosley to use that word in the room? Is it appropriate for Walter Mosley to use that word in the room? I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for you. But that was an issue. And so that’s a thing we have to figure out.

I see staff writers on Twitter who are asked to promote their show or to live tweet show but are also called out for having their own opinions at times. And that’s a thing we have to figure out. We have influencers whose whole – who make their living–

**Craig:** Blech.

**John:** –seeming like they’re just normal people or whatever, but it’s their authenticity that is selling a brand, but they are the brand. That’s a weird thing. It makes me really uncomfortable.

**Craig:** Yeah. Why don’t we just replace the word influencer with sociopaths? Isn’t that what that is? [laughs]

**John:** I know two influencers who are genuinely great people. But is challenging to know sort of like, OK, are you actually having fun or are you having fun for a brand? And that’s, yes.

**Craig:** You know, the Walter Mosley thing is fascinating. The only details I know were from the story I read, but it seems like there was an African-American writer on staff who complained to HR and then Walter Mosley – I don’t know if he was just immediately terminated. I think they kind of had a discussion with him. And from what I sussed out he said, “Yeah, no, I’m not going to apologize for that.” And then they said, OK, well you’ve got to go.

Whenever I see these things, these stories of this sort I think please remember, Craig, that you weren’t there and you don’t know everything.

**John:** Yep.

**Craig:** I don’t know – do you know how many times you think you understand something and then somebody comes up to you and says, “Oh, let me just tell you what actually happened and the way it happened.” And you go, “Ooohhh.”

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So there are times where I think like, what, they did what? And then you find out everything and you go, oh yeah, I totally get it now. We just don’t know. But oh my god, does that not stop us from yapping our judgments out there into the world. Like we are Galactus ready to eat the planet for the crime of whatever outrage we’re currently simmering over. We just don’t know. And by the way, you and I – one thing we both are sure of is that in general the entertainment journalism industry not great at reporting full facts, context, et cetera.

**John:** Yep. Context is tough. And I would say but at least entertainment press might have a thousand words to dedicate to something. A tweet doesn’t. So a tweet has almost no context. You’re sort of creating context around the outrage storm that’s there. And that ain’t healthy.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** But another thing which is worth noticing is that sometimes what’s professional can feel artificial. It can feel not real or authentic because like, oh, you’re trying too hard. And that’s a weird thing that we’re at now, too. Where just like using full sentences, you know, proper punctuation, things are changing but there’s still an expectation of sort of how things are supposed to be working.

So, just recognizing that I think the core characteristics of professionalism are probably enduring. And I’m going to probably add humility as one of those. But figuring out how those apply to a quickly changing world is the challenge we’re always going to be wrestling with. Which is why I can give this speech in October and then a few years later I’m going to have to update it again because things will have changed.

**Craig:** I think that’s the most important thing. And that is what’s going to keep you from being cranky old man. I mean, look, I was born a cranky old man. But what I’m trying to avoid is a cranky old man set in his ways. As long you are keeping tabs on the way the world changes and you’re listening to people from a wide range of ages and races and orientations and beliefs then you should be able to adapt as the world changes. You will not be young ever again. You will not be current in the way that a 25-year-old is current. Not possible. Nor should it be.

But what you can avoid is being ignorant, stuck in your ways, blinkered, whatever word you want to come up with for somebody that’s just decided I’m checking out. Like, look, I know somewhere along the line I just said I can’t keep up with new music anymore. It’s over. Right? It’s over. That’s fine. No problem. I’m OK to let that go and just live with the 70 years of music that that I know and I feel good about. Fine.

But when it comes to the way our society functions and in particular the way our business functions and the way professional writers function it’s incumbent upon me to listen – and again be humble – and not immediately go, “Wah, these kids,” even though I did take a shot at millennials earlier, because sometimes they are dicks.

**John:** All right. Let’s answer some listener questions. We have two questions here about credits. Craig, you know a ton about credits so maybe we’ll ask you these questions. Tim writes, “On When They See Us I notice that Ava DuVernay has a strange story credit. Can you shed some light on to why she’s on there twice?” And the credit he’s linking to is “Story by Ava DuVernay and Ana DuVernay & Julian Breece.” Craig tell us.

**Craig:** Sure. It does look weird. And here’s how that functions. When you write as a team with somebody you are considered a unique writer for the purposes of credit determination. So Ava DuVernay & Julian Breece. They wrote together as a team. That is considered a writer. Ava DuVernay also clearly worked on this on her own. That’s a different writer. So Ava DuVernay on her own is considered a discrete writer from Ava DuVernay and Julian Breece.

Now, you go into an arbitration if there is – in this case I don’t know if there was an arbitration.

**John:** I suspect it would have to be because she was a producer on the show. She was a production executive on the show.

**Craig:** Yeah, so there was an automatic arbitration. And so what happens is they look at all the material. They don’t see names. What they see is Writer A and Writer B and Writer C and Writer D. In this case let’s just say there was Writer A and Writer B. Writer A was Ava DuVernay. Writer B was Ava DuVernay and Julian Breece. The arbiters look at it and they go, “You know what? Story seems to be Writer A. Deserves Story credit. And so does Writer B. That’s what it is.”

Now, I believe – I could be wrong – I’m pretty sure that as a writer you have the option in this circumstance to collapse the credit down. So you don’t have to have your name twice. In this case, I don’t know if she chose to have her name twice or if she wasn’t aware that was an option. Or, third possibility, I’m just wrong about this. But I don’t thing I am. I think you can collapse your name down and it just would say Ava DuVernay & Julian Breece.

But, the Writers Guild would understand that you actually do have more of a percentage of that credit for the purposes of distributing residuals. Because residuals are based on the credits. So in this case – like in features Story is worth 25% of residuals. So if you are Story by Ava DuVernay and Ava DuVernay & Julian Breece, half of that 25% would go to Ava and half of the other half of 25% would go to Ava, and then the rest would go to Julian Breece.

So you can collapse your credits down to avoid this weird syndrome of double naming. But you would not lose your fair percentage of residuals as a result.

**John:** Yes. So the crucial take away from that is this was probably a result of arbitration and the folks who were assigning those credits they didn’t see names. They just saw Writer A and Writer B. And you wouldn’t think twice about it if it was just Writer A and Writer B. It’s just a weird situation where Writer B is a team that also includes Writer A.

**Craig:** Yeah. I believe – and I believe this collapsing down thing is possible because I think I’ve done it.

**John:** OK. Cool. Nick from Sydney, Australia, who lives in LA, asks, “Can a Created by TV credit be taken away in the same way that a writing credit can in cases where subsequent writers make substantial changes to a screenplay? For example, if I secure a Created by credit on my contract for work on a pilot script and series bible, but then another showrunner takes over the project and makes substantial changes. Can I have the credit taken away? Is there arbitration for such an action?”

Craig, talk us through Created by.

**Craig:** OK, I have an answer. I looked it up. So, a Created by credit comes from an original series and there are two ways you can get – you become eligible for a Created credit. You write a format for the series. I think in that sense what it means is an outline or bible. Or, and/or, you receive Story by or Written by credit on the pilot episode of the series.

Generally if no format has been written, so that would be the equivalent of a treatment in features, then the Created by credit will go to the writers who receive the Story by or Written by credit on the pilot. And that’s how that works. So it is a function of the WGA making a determination. You can’t be guaranteed it. There must be a final determination of credits on the pilot episode of the series.

So, what I would say to Nick from Sydney, Australia is if you wrote the pilot script and the series bible, the series bible in and of itself should guarantee you a Created by credit. Somebody else could add on if they receive a Story by or Written by credit on the pilot, then they too would be eligible for a Created by credit.

**John:** All right. It’s time for our One Cool Things. This is the fall. So it means that I have to have one of my One Cool Things be the Flu Shot.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** A good friend of ours was felled by the flu this past week. So, guys, get the flu shot. It’s basically like the cheapest insurance you can get for like not being sick for a week to ten days. Just get your Flu Shot.

**Craig:** Get it.

**John:** It’s good. It’s helpful.

**Craig:** Get it.

**John:** I can also recommend that if you are using Highland2, the pro upgrade on Highland2, there’s a new item underneath the help menu for the Highland2 Slack Channel. So if you’re a Pro member you can join on Slack where we are discussing features that are coming to Highland and you get an early look at things. So if you are a person who uses Slack or a person who might want to use Slack we have a channel now for those pro users. And you should come join us there and we can talk about the future of Highland because there’s some really cool things coming down the pike.

**Craig:** Fantastic. It is fall. And so I feel like if they could only come up with a pumpkin spice Flu Shot.

**John:** Oh. That would do it. Sell a thousand of them.

**Craig:** Right? [Crosstalk]

**John:** I have last request of listeners. One of the things we’re working on in Highland is support for scripts that are written right to left, so Arabic and Hebrew and some other languages. What we’re really lacking is examples of scripts written in those languages. And so I’ve seen scripts written in most of the Roman languages, like European languages. I’ve not seen scripts in a lot of other languages. And so I know some people use Word or other places. But if you are a listener who is working in screenplays in languages other than English and you feel like sending us a copy, just a PDF so we can take a look at what it looks like, that would be great. So just send it through to ask@johnaugust.com.

We just would love a bigger corpus of scripts from outside the US and Europe to take a look at sort of how we can do a better job working with those languages.

**Craig:** I’ve weighted my whole life to just look at you pouring over a Hebrew text.

**John:** Absolutely. What’s the name of the stick you use as you read the Torah?

**Craig:** You know, that’s a great question. I don’t know. Well, the deal with the stick, traditionally it’s a silver rod with a hand. It’s a little bit like the hand from the hand of the queen or the hand of the king in Game of Thrones. So it’s a pointer in the shape of a hand and finger. And the purpose of that is you’re not supposed to touch the Torah because you’re desecrating it with your stupid human finger or something. Because it’s so important.

God, I’m such an atheist. But, yeah, I used that thing. I used the stick when I was a young bar mitzvah boy.

**John:** Craig, I’ve never asked. What was your bar mitzvah passage? Like what were you assigned?

**Craig:** Do not remember. But I will tell you that it was from Jeremiah. I remember it was from Jeremiah. Not one of your more popular chapters of the Old Testament. But here’s the weird part. This is actually kind of bizarre. So the Jewish calendar is not like the January to December calendar that we use. It is a lunar calendar. This is why for instance Easter is constantly shuffling around. Because Easter is based on Passover. And Passover moves around per the Jewish calendar.

So, when you are a bar mitzvah boy or a bat mitzvah girl you get assigned what’s called a Haftarah which is your portion of the Torah that you’re supposed to read, AKA memorize blindly because you don’t speak the language. And the Torah is read from beginning to end throughout the Jewish year. And there’s a holiday called Simchat Torah which is, yay, we get to start over again and read it again. So, over the course of the year every Saturday or Friday and Saturday there is a chunk that you read to progress your way through. Meaning your birthday will roughly coincide with a general section, depending on what year it is.

Here’s the weird part. My birthday is in April, early April. My father’s birthday is in early June. That’s two months apart. My father’s parents were so proud of him, because they were so Jewish, that in 19 – he was 13 in 1955. They took him to a small recording studio in Manhattan and made him do his Haftarah thing into a microphone which was pressed onto a vinyl 78 RPM disc.

**John:** That’s amazing.

**Craig:** And he had it. And he took it out while I was studying my thing. And he took it out to play it and I said, oh my god, it’s the same one. We had the same one. Isn’t that weird?

**John:** That is great and weird.

**Craig:** It’s great and weird.

**John:** Yeah, so I mean mathematically not impossible, but still great when those things happen.

**Craig:** It was highly unlikely but, yeah, so we both had the same torture, reciting the same who cares paragraph at length. That’s this week’s Jew Corner with Craig Jew Mazin. My One Cool Thing this week is Seven Cool Things if I may. Not this past Sunday when we won/almost won/sort of won/lost everything at the Emmys, the Sunday prior was the Creative Arts Emmys where a whole bunch of our Chernobyl professionals were nominated for Emmys. And seven of them won.

And I am so proud of them. And so I just wanted to say their names and what they won because it was a joy. I was just – can I just be Jewish again for a second. I was kvelling. I was kvelling. I really was. I’m so proud of them. So I’m just going to say who they were because they did such a good job. So, Stuart Hilliker and Vincent Piponnier, our rerecording and production mixers won for Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Limited Series or Movie. And this was a great one. Outstanding Production Design for a Narrative, Period, or Fantasy program one hour or more, we won, Luke Hull, production designer, Karen Wayfield, art director, and Claire Levinson, set director. And on that one we even beat Game of Thrones.

**John:** How nice is that?

**Craig:** I mean, it was pretty good. I was sitting right behind Dan and Dave, so on that one we were kind of giving each other [unintelligible], but you know what? It was good. They won like 10 Emmys that night. So congrats to them.

We also won for Outstanding Special Visual Effects in a supporting role. And that was – there’s a whole bunch of guys and women, but Max Denison and Lindsay McFarland were our leads on that one.

We won for Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Limited Series or Movie. That was won by one of our editors, Simon Smith. So fantastic for him.

This was a great one. We also won Outstanding Music Composition for a Limited Series, Movie, or Special. That was Hildur Guonadottir who was our amazing composer. And by the way won an Emmy for Chernobyl. She – I’m predicting – is going to be nominated for an Oscar for Joker. So she’s having one hell of a year. I mean, oh god, I love her so much. So I’m so happy to see that.

And we also won Outstanding Sound Editing for a Limited Series, Movie, or Special. That was Stefan, Joe, Michael, Harry, Andy, and Anna.

And we won Outstanding Cinematography for a Limited Series or Movie and that was Jakob Ihre, the amazing Jakob Ihre, who was our director DP.

So congratulations to all of our winners and also we had I think six other nominees and so we are just so proud of all of them. I couldn’t be happier with that result. It was a fantastic night. And the best part was I didn’t even have to worry. I didn’t have to be nervous. I didn’t have to think of a speech or any of that nonsense. So, that was the best part of this whole thing.

**John:** Absolutely. Congratulations again to all of them and to you, Craig, or–

**Craig:** Or not. [laughs]

**John:** Or not. [laughs] Congratulations on the show regardless. And that’s our episode for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It was edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by John Spurney. If you have an outro, and we’re kind of running low on outros here folks, please send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions like the ones we answered today. But on Twitter, of course, Craig is @clmazin. I’m @johnaugust.

If you have thoughts about professionalism, if you have thoughts about the switch from Libsyn over to Patreon or some other stuff like that hit us up. Tell us on Twitter or send us an email. Because we want to know what you think.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts. You’ll find all the back episodes at Scriptnotes.net. You need to sign up there in order to use the Scriptnotes app for iOS or Android, neither of which is quite up to snuff and I’m sorry about that.

You can also download 50-episode seasons at store.johnaugust.com

Craig, thanks and congratulations. Next week is going to be a big show for a secret reason that people don’t know yet.

**Craig:** Ooh, I’m so excited. I don’t think I know it either.

**John:** You know who the guest is.

**Craig:** Oh, I do. Yeah, it’s pretty great. [laughs]

**John:** Cool.

**Craig:** Have a nice week. Bye.

**John:** Bye.

Links:

* [The Emmy Award Winners](https://www.emmys.com/awards/nominees-winners) Congrats Craig!
* [WGA Election Results](https://www.wga.org/news-events/news/press/wgaw-announces-2019-officers-and-board-of-directors-election-results)
* [She Said: Breaking the Sexual Harassment Story That Helped Ignite a Movement](https://www.amazon.com/She-Said-Breaking-Harassment-Movement/dp/0525560343) by Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey
* [Why I Quit the Writer’s Room](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/06/opinion/sunday/walter-mosley.html) by Walter Mosley
* [Professional Writing and the Rise of the Amateur](https://johnaugust.com/2006/professional-writing-and-the-rise-of-the-amateur)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Jon Spurney ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_419_professionalism.mp3)

Scriptnotes, Ep 417: Idea Management, Transcript

October 4, 2019 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2019/idea-management).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 417 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the podcast we’re going to take a look at the issue of idea management. What do you do with all of those half-formed ideas for various things to write? We’ll also discuss screenwriter’s quotes and answer some listener questions. To help us out on all of this, welcome back Aline Brosh McKenna.

**Craig:** Yay.

**Aline Brosh McKenna:** Woo! What!

**Craig:** I almost want to do like when Kermit waggles his hands around and goes, “Nah!” I don’t know why. It seems appropriate.

**John:** Yeah, Kermit’s hands are sort of like the inflatable car lot things.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** They wave by their own magic.

**Aline:** Do you guys remember in that original Batman show that sometimes Catwoman would be on?

**Craig:** Of course.

**John:** Oh, I love Catwoman.

**Aline:** But you would watch in the credits to see if she was on that week.

**John:** I never watched the credits to see if she would be on.

**Craig:** I would not.

**Aline:** They changed the credits. If she was going to be in that episode it would be like, “And…” and then they would show a picture of her. And I would be very excited because I knew that it was going to be a Batman episode with Catgirl. Catgirl or Batgirl?

**Craig:** No, no, Batgirl or Catwoman. Catwoman was Eartha Kitt.

**Aline:** Catwoman.

**Craig:** Catwoman was Eartha Kitt. But I don’t remember who Batgirl was. Did they have a Batgirl on that original Adam West show?

**John:** I bet they did because the commissioner’s daughter was Batgirl. Here’s maybe what you’re suggesting though is we need to change the introductory bloops if it’s going to be an Aline episode so everyone knows, oh my gosh, this is an Aline episode.

**Aline:** Yes. And I can sing something and just mock something up.

**John:** Before we get started to our big topics we have some follow up listener questions and I thought maybe Aline would read the question because you’ve never gotten to read a question for us.

**Aline:** Great. Oh, it’s this question that I tried to shove back at you? OK, I’m going to read a question.

**Craig:** Great.

**Aline:** Lochiel writes, “I grew up with D&D basic, then advanced, and played up through Gen 2. I love or loved D&D, but Dungeon World is in my opinion so much better. The game is much less crunchy and can be learned in an hour. The best part of the game is that the players and the DM share narrative control in a much more collaborative way. It would be beyond awesome to witness some people as creative as you guys playing Dungeon World.

**Craig:** Yeah, it would.

**John:** Well, Craig, yeah, that’s good. So, maybe we can discuss some Dungeon World here.

**Aline:** This is obviously a question for me.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Yes. 100%.

**Aline:** And my answer to this would be that I would think that Dungeon World would be a store where you could buy stuff for your dungeon.

**Craig:** Like a sex dungeon?

**Aline:** Yeah.

**John:** Yeah.

**Aline:** That’s what I would think. Where you would be kitting up for your BDSM dungeon. Is that not correct?

**Craig:** Right. It’s your BDSM superstore.

**Aline:** That’s what I would think it was.

**Craig:** Yeah, come on down to Dungeon World. [laughs]

**John:** So this is follow up on our episode from last week with Alison Luhrs from Wizards of the Coast. Wizards of the Coast makes Dungeons & Dragons, the official Dungeons & Dragons. Dungeon World is a separate gaming system that is very free-form, very loose, and Craig you and I actually did play a campaign in Dungeon World. I DM’d one. And I liked it more than you liked it. It is very free-form and loose. And I think we found it a little bit too free-form and loose. Is that accurate?

**Craig:** Yeah. I think so. I mean, the story part of playing Dungeons & Dragons is definitely a huge part of it. And, look, Lochiel, it’s really just a question of preference, right? I mean, you’re sort of arguing that vanilla tastes better than chocolate and some people will agree and some people won’t. I prefer Dungeons & Dragons or say like Pathfinder which is a similar, because I enjoy some of the rules minutia. I enjoy the constraints of combat. I think that’s fun. I think it’s just the leveling up and all that stuff. I just, I like it. I like it more. It gives me more of what I want.

But I also understand where some people would be like actually that’s the worst part of it all. I just like pretending and talking and such. The one thing I will say about Dungeon World is it feels a bit arbitrary. In other words success and failure feel a bit kind of at the DM’s whim as opposed to kind of influenced by statistical calculation.

**John:** So I remember Michael Gilvarry being frustrated like when is it my turn to swing a sword. The lack of initiative and the lack of sort of structure within combat was frustrating to him.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** But I do enjoy reading other games’ sort of inherent mechanics and seeing sort of how they do stuff. Like I think the new Paranoia has a really cool system for how it works. There’s a role-playing game called Kids on Bikes which is very much a Stranger Things. And how that all works in success and failure is clever. But you know what? I like Fifth Edition Dungeons & Dragons. I’m old school.

**Craig:** Yeah. I’m with you. And Aline obviously we know that you strongly prefer Pathfinder.

**Aline:** Do you have a question on fall fashion?

**John:** We do. We have so many.

**Craig:** We do.

**Aline:** Something about belted tweed jackets?

**Craig:** Let me ask you a question, in all seriousness Aline.

**Aline:** High-waisted leather pants?

**Craig:** Am I a spring, a fall, a winter? What am I?

**Aline:** Oh, no, that whole thing is a scam.

**Craig:** That’s garbage?

**John:** That color theory?

**Aline:** I’m saying in terms of your look–

**Craig:** Oh yeah, yeah, my look.

**Aline:** Yeah. You’re in the hoodie and J-Crew shirt area. But, you know, Craig, if I took you to a mall I could work with the existing aesthetic but I could tone it up.

**Craig:** You could plus it. Come on down to Dungeon World. We’ve got– [laughs]

**Aline:** We could do that. But you might want to do that with Melissa.

**Craig:** Meh.

**John:** Let’s transition to a topic that we all sort of know more about. So, a story that was in the news this last week was about the controversy over sequels to Crazy Rich Asians and who was getting paid what for it. Without diving too deep into that situation, I thought it was useful for us to have a conversation about how are screenwriter quotes even figured out or even what quotes are. How does a screenwriter know how much they’re worth and how much they’re being paid for a project? Because over the course of 20 years I’ve seen the amount I’m being paid per project go up and go down for reasons that probably wouldn’t be apparent to somebody outside the system.

So we haven’t really talked about money as a screenwriter for a while, so let’s talk about how much a screenwriter is worth.

**Aline:** So one of the things that changed and I think it’s about four or five years ago was no quotes. A no-quote thing was issued.

**John:** Tell me how you perceive that.

**Aline:** To me it was perceived a little bit like there’s no quotes, tell me your quotes. Because it is a world where you’re sort of making things up. You know, Hollywood is an interesting system in that your pay rises based on certain intangibles. And they are not just how the things you’ve written have performed in the public sphere. They can also be determined by oh you wrote a script that got a director. You wrote a script that attracted actors. You wrote a script that people like. You wrote a script that got a bidding war. Even if those things didn’t get made. And that’s why I think that system seems really byzantine irrational to people because it is based on intangibles. And it’s a marketplace where things are worth what someone will pay for them.

**John:** Craig, could you start us out, the conversation. Talk to us about the floor of how much somebody gets paid. Because I think we need to talk about scale before we talk about above scale.

**Craig:** Yeah. And maybe also just quickly before we talk about no-quote system is, we should probably talk about what the yes-quote system is, too. A lot of people see this phrase “quote system” and they don’t know. So, first thing, the floor of what a writer gets paid in Hollywood when you’re working on a Writers Guild project, that’s going to be pretty much everything other than most feature animation. It’s determined by the Writers Guild. It’s determined by our collective bargaining agreement. So every three years the Writers Guild negotiates a new deal with the AMPTP. That’s the organization that essentially represents the companies in those negotiations. And that is the minimum we can be paid.

So, you start from there. And then because our business is an over-scale business, which makes us different. Typically a union will negotiate salary floors for everybody working in the plant. So if you’re a welder you make this much money per hour. And if you’re a welder for this many years you make this much money per hour. In our business, no. It’s all over the place. Most people are making more than scale and how much more than scale is up to you and your representatives and the marketplace, which is where the quote system comes in to play.

And all the quote system means is that you’ve been paid some amount of money by someone that someone else agrees is legitimate. Meaning I go to Sony, they say, OK, we want to hire you for something. And then my representatives say, “Well his quote for that service is blotty-blah because Disney paid him that.” That’s it. That’s the sum total of the quote system.

Now, doing better than your quote or when they say no-quote, that’s a whole other ball of wax.

**Aline:** Right. They can’t do that, though. They can’t do that anymore. They can’t ask for your quotes and they can’t–

**John:** Let’s talk about the change. So, traditionally over the last 15 years, ten years ago, that was the starting point of any discussion. So the very initial projects I was hired to write I got paid scale. Probably most of us got paid scale, which is the minimum they could possibly pay us. It’s like getting minimum wage. And then after you’d had a couple projects, things get made, you start creeping above that. And so if I got $200,000 on a project, you know, the next time I was going to make a deal for some place my quote was $200,000. And so we were trying improve upon that.

But as Aline is saying they’re not supposed to be asking for quotes anymore.

**Craig:** Right.

**Aline:** Right. So then it becomes a supply and demand question ostensibly. But one of the things that if it sounds like a somewhat amorphous system, it is. And so obviously it leads to and can lead to unfairness because a lot of these things are perceptual. And you can’t control perceptual things. You can’t, you know, when your agent comes back and says, “Well, they perceive that this happened as opposed to this happening on this project and that’s why you’re going to get this and not that.” There’s not a lot you can say back.

And I have a friend who has been trying really hard to make it so that everybody publicizes what they get paid because, you know, especially if you’re in a group setting like a television show and you want to know, OK, what are other supervising producers with six years of staff experience, what are they getting, you’re only getting that anecdotally or through your representatives. So some people are an advocate of everyone should just publish what they’re getting paid so then you can compare. But you are in this world of what in your resume earns what dollars.

And I will say that because the atmosphere has changed a little bit more in terms of like we do discuss bias more, I have now numerous times been told, “Hey, I think if you were, I mean, a man you would get paid differently. And the demand for your services would command a different price.” You can’t obviously prove that and you can’t “accuse” people of that. But, again, whenever you’re in the realm of perceptual things with humans it’s something we’ve talked about before, like people’s idea of what a director looks like is a 30 to 60-year-old man with some facial hair, you know, and cargo shorts or pants, or some kind of a vest. And that’s what they picture. So when they look at a 90-year-old – sorry, 90-year-old.

**Craig:** No, do it. I like that.

**Aline:** Yeah, a 90-year-old works. Or a hundred pound fashionably dressed 26-year-old female, just for example, it’s a perceptual thing. And so I have numerous times seen not just in my own career but in other people’s careers where what seems to me that people are doing equally well and then come to find out that the men are being paid more. And that’s not just true with screenwriters, obviously. I think that’s across the board in Hollywood. And I don’t know how you standardize that system without doing kind of what Craig suggests which is publishing people’s salaries so that you can say, “Hey, you know, my movies have earned this much, or my TV shows have gotten this rating, or whatever, and so I see what this person gets paid and I would like to be paid concomitantly with that.

**John:** Nice use of concomitantly. I’ve never tried that word in real life.

**Aline:** But, you know, it is a vague – when you get, you guys know, when you get on the phone with your lawyer so often the first thing they offer you is crazy shocking because in the no-quote environment instead of before where it felt like it was building on the pay you’d gotten sometimes they come back and they’ve made a number that sets you back seven years and the question is why. And it’s based in these things which are, you know, size of the budget, scale of the movie. But again these perceptual things. So, it’s an interesting system because it has, you know, it’s a little bit of the court of the Louis XIV. It’s like Tulip Fever. It’s a little bit things command the price that they command and you can’t really get behind.

But I will say that, you know, some of those things are steeped in assumptions that people make about certain – and it also translates into genres. So certain genres the people make extremely more money than in other genres irrespective of the box office performance. If they think well you can write this super hero movie in success that movie is going to make a lot more money than this movie about three girls on a road trip which, you know.

Anyway, it’s why it’s an imperfect system at the best.

**John:** Well let’s talk about the no quotes in two different ways that it comes up. I think it was California law that changed where you’re not supposed to be asking for quotes on previous things, and so that was a change. The other thing that happened over the last five, seven years is that increasingly projects at studios they really kind of didn’t care what your quote was. They said like we are paying X dollars for this project, are you interested or not interested. And so things that are like this a $500,000, it’s not more than that, and that’s a thing that changed, too. And that was a supply and demand thing as well because there were fewer projects.

**Aline:** Absolutely.

**John:** And so some of us had to take a haircut to take some of those projects on. So there’s an objective reality which is the dollars you’re being paid, but the subjective quality is how much are you worth. And value is not an easily calculable thing. It is a matter of opinion and that is a reality.

**Aline:** And what you’re saying, the landscape of the business is changing and another really interesting factor in this is television and film are fusing and melding and, you know, what does years of experience in television, what does that translate into feature wise? When I started they would disregard your television quotes in features and they would disregard your feature quotes in television as if you had been fixing airplanes an then you show up to paint a Renaissance master.

**Craig:** They still do that.

**Aline:** Guys, these things are related. So they are still doing this. And I think Craig you experienced this.

**Craig:** Oh yeah.

**Aline:** But that’s going to change as more people are doing both, freely doing both, moving back and forth. And they are going to expect their high quotes in some areas to translate into quotes in other areas because what is the big difference. What is this artificial gulf that we’ve created?

**Craig:** Well, when we talk about all of this stuff, I mean, the amusing part is the law may say you can’t ask what their quote is, and yet they’ll know because they talk to each other. This is something that maybe people don’t know. The division within each studio that negotiates how much a writer gets paid is called Business Affairs. So it’s different than people who are hiring you. This is another interesting thing. Usually, well I guess it’s sort of like in a big corporation human resources is there to determine salaries, right. So you get hired by somebody and then they send you over to HR and a negotiation occurs. In Hollywood it’s business affairs. And the business affairs executives pick up the phone and call each other. They know exactly what you’ve paid.

And, more to the point, when it’s time for you to make a deal if you like the amount of money you just got paid you’re telling them. So, we can say it’s a no-quote time but it’s not. What you just got paid is known by both sides. Or, it is confirmable by both sides. So that’s the first thing.

And the second thing is when we talk about what you’re worth we’re talking about what the market decides they’re going to pay you at that moment. The hard part is it has absolutely nothing to do with your actual worth as a writer. What you’re being paid now is actually what you were worth. It’s never what you are worth. It’s what you were worth before this moment.

So when you’re a new writer you are worth nothing. [laughs] You were, right? That’s all you have to show is nothing so they pay you like that. When you just had a hit movie they pay you like what you were worth on the hit movie. They’re always behind. They’re always lagging.

**Aline:** When you as a creative person become part of a negotiation I’ve always found it really challenging because there’s things that I just want to do them. And so I don’t want to get immersed too much in the pay because I’m desperate to do it. And your representatives in a way are there to buffer that enthusiasm so that you have, you have a stronger hand. Because if you’re saying to your lawyer I’ll just take, just take it, just take it, you’re really cutting them off at the knees. But if it’s something you’re dying to do, you know, we’re not usually driven by money. We’re driven by the love of the material. And so it’s very challenging just to empower your reps to say, “Well, if it’s shitty walk away from it,” when it’s something you want to do. And you have to have some sense of like, no, this one is worth it. Maybe I’ll take a little pay cut on this one because I believe in this and I think in success this will really work for me.

But I have always found that transition from you’re talking to the creative executives and you’re all on the same page and it feels great and you’re going to go do this thing and then the first offer comes in and your lawyer is like, “This is atrocious.” And it’s hard not to take it personally. And sometimes it is personal in the sense that they are lowballing you because they think they can for whatever reason and it hurts.

**Craig:** They do it every time. They literally do it every time.

**Aline:** Your lawyer is trained to say, “Hey, don’t feel differently about this project because of this,” but it’s almost impossible not to feel that way. And because business affairs is a different department and you’re dealing with people who only deal with money and only deal with deals, but then they have to translate these intangibles of like we really, you know, the creative person has their heart set on John August. When they first read the book that was the only person they could picture so they desperately want John August. But the business affairs person has to pretend like they don’t care if it’s John August. And sometimes they do.

**John:** Well let’s talk about leverage because that is the way that a screenwriter ultimately increases the amount they’re paid for that project. And leverage can come from a couple ways. But the biggest one is the freedom to walk away, to say like, “You know what, I’m not taking this deal. So if this is where we’re stopping then I’m stopping and I’m moving on to the next thing.”

Leverage can also come from kind of being perceived as being irreplaceable by other creative elements. So that director desperately wants you. That star desperately wants you. We have a friend who is sort of the only person who can get along with a certain actor and so she’s worth a lot on those projects because she’s the only one who can sort of handle that person. So those are reasons why a person can get paid more.

I would say classically coming off of a hit movie, like you got that bump on your next movie and your next movie after it, I see that happening a little bit less now than five years ago just because the business has changed. Again, the supply and demand of how many projects there are out there is different.

Another way that you can increase your quote or the amount that you’re being paid on this project is by working for one of the new places. And the new places will tend to overpay because they’re desperate to get in business with certain people.

**Aline:** In certain moments. I mean, you know, if it’s your passion project you’ve got to be prepared to take a haircut. But I think one of the things that’s interesting, you know, the three of us have been in this business a long time and it was kind of the same for a long time. It was a very calcified, for better or for worse, it was understandable. And some of the things of like, Aline, you’re not going to get paid as much as the other people, I mean, those were codified, too.

Technology and the rise of all these other means of distributing have effected everything. And it’s exactly what you said, you know, movie quotes are not what they were, TV quotes are not what they were. You’re in a sort of a more freeform environment and there’s wonderful things about that but there’s also, you know, in some ways they have us over a barrel and they are trying to redefine backend. Redefine all the ways in which screenwriters are being paid. And it’s one of the reasons there’s sort of a lot of tumult and discussion among writers because I’ve never seen a more rapid period of change.

**Craig:** We’re also in the middle of a rapidly increasing income disparity which echoes what’s going on in the economy at large and the world at large. What used to be a kind of gentle bell curve has been accelerating even more and more, so now the question really isn’t, well, what’s my quote and how much am I being paid and can I get a bump – that’s what they say is a raise is a bump. Can I get a bump? What’s happening is that the writing business is starting to separate between employees, just standard old employees who are more and more just being pushed towards scale, and mega deals.

In my career the thought of a writer earning nine figures – that would be over $100,000,000 – for a deal that went on for two or three years was kind of astonishing. It’s happening all the time now. And so we are moving out of what we’re all familiar with. And the mega deals seemingly don’t care about, well, I guess you get what you get. And what’s concerning to me is that the opportunities for new writers coming in are going to be defined by this new system which is essentially, oh yeah, we don’t really do live over-scale. Do you know what I mean? That’s the fear is that over-scale essentially just goes away and everything is just sort of scale. It’s like, well–

**Aline:** I also just, I mean, we’ve talked about this before, but I don’t know how I would have broken into the feature business given what I write. I would absolutely now be going in through the TV door.

**Craig:** Of course. Of course.

**Aline:** Where minimums are different. But, you know, just to be writing sort of character-based comedies often, most often with female leads, they’re making so few that – there used to be a pipeline and all of that is going now into these television–so the other thing is that the feature business is much more steeped in–

**John:** In giant IP. Yeah. Absolutely.

**Aline:** And so it is a different – if you are person who can take one of those pieces of IP and make it make sense, there’s wild rewards in that. And those people’s careers have skyrocketed. And also it’s kind of sucked up a lot of our A-list talent. You know, I always think of like people who would have been doing Three Days of the Condor or All the President’s Men or all those, you know, Sydney Pollack, Alan Pakula, you know, a lot of those movies. They’re doing big genre franchise movies. And I wish that they could do both at the same time because I do mourn a little bit the original character-based movies that we all grew up on. And because a lot of the people grew up loving these genre pieces they’re making these IP movies. And I do mourn a little bit the movies they might have made if we were still making those personal pieces.

**Craig:** They’re gone.

**Aline:** They’re on TV.

**John:** They’re on TV.

**Craig:** They’re on TV. And when it comes to movies you’re absolutely right. They would not – if you were starting out and you were writing romantic comedies or character studies or smaller let’s say call it a $25 million budget with a female lead, no question. They’re just not making them. And nor are they making the movies that I was writing when I started out. If you want to make sort of a family PG-13 live action or PG live action comedy–

**John:** That’s me.

**Craig:** Yeah. It’s television. You know, you’re going to Netflix now. They’re just not doing it.

**Aline:** But unless you have Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

**John:** Or Aladdin.

**Aline:** Or Aladdin.

**Craig:** Exactly. But even then, I have to say even now I got to argue that in 2019 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a harder bet. Because we talk about these big movies and IP and stuff but we’re not saying the word “superhero” which we need to. Because the superhero thing has essentially transformed Hollywood. The theatrical movie business is the superhero movie business. Period. The end.

**Aline:** And we’re way deep in the bin there. People are like, oh, are you pitching on Oatmeal Boy, and you’re like, what? There was one issue about that character in 1964. We’re deep, deep in the well there. And there are so many kind of big classic pieces of novels that have yet to be adapted. It’s so funny because somebody once said to me they never made a Mata Hari movie. And it’s just something that I think about. But if you had done a Mata Hari comic in 1972, you know, and people collected it and whatever you could shove that through.

But it is funny. We just have gotten – I run into people and they’re working on superhero stuff that – I mean, obviously I’m not an expert. But we’ve gone deep, deep in the well there.

**Craig:** Well, they don’t even have to go that deep in the well. They just remake.

**Aline:** Keep making the ones, yeah.

**Craig:** I mean, I think everybody kind of giggled when the fourth version of Spider Man had come out. But now it’s sort of like, oh, what’s this year’s Spider Man? That’s it. Just every year there will be a new Spider Man. And every year there will be a new Batman.

**Aline:** That’s like those old Tom Mix westerns, you know, from early Hollywood. You would just go that character, they would just do latest adventures or comic books.

**Craig:** The only thing is like in the old days they would crank out programmers, like Wallace Beery wrestling pictures, or [Odors] as those of us who do crossword puzzles love to say. But they were low budget. They were cheap stuff to flood the theaters.

**John:** They’re filler.

**Craig:** Nobody does that anymore because it’s the opposite now. Everything has to be a massive event. So either you’re doing superhero movies or you’re doing Star Wars movies. And then there’s animation. Or, in the case of Disney, live action animation. But there is no space really for other stuff. There’s the tiniest space which I find myself now when I’m working in movies that’s where I live. In this tiny space. Which is why I’m quite happy to be embarking on a television journey because, you know, I–

**Aline:** I’m just imagining you trying to pitch Chernobyl as a feature. Like having ten meetings in a week where you go in and pitch Chernobyl and executives sort of come in expecting you – what does Craig have? Like expecting some fun comedy with big comedy stars. And here’s [laughs] Craig saying–

**Craig:** That’s why I didn’t do it.

**Aline:** So he’s vomiting. He’s bleeding out from his face. And, you know–

**John:** There’s male nudity but it’s not funny male nudity.

**Craig:** Right.

**Aline:** But there was a world where you would have conceivably pitched and made that movie and that’s why I think there is a giant hole in the marketplace for somebody to start a company which makes a lot of the stuff that’s now going to Netflix. Other kinds of stories, character-based stories, but female leads, non-white leads. To sort of have a woke, for lack of a better term, studio that opens its doors to everybody who wants to be doing stuff like that because if you make them for a price they can work huge. And the upside can be huge. And you can make Girls Trip and you can make Mamma Mia and you can make Get Out. And for someone to really open the doors on a big company like that that is run by executives who are not all named Matt. That would be incredible and I think we would all run to that person.

And I understand that financially now the amount of money that you need to be that person is almost too astronomical to exist. But I am waiting desperately for someone to make the superstore, the big box version of Fox 2000 with big funding that we can all run to for those projects. Because people have an enormous hunger to still make them and to see them on a big screen.

**John:** Agreed.

**Craig:** Question for you. Didn’t you just describe Megan Ellison and Annapurna? And didn’t they just go bankrupt?

**John:** Or A24. Fox Searchlight.

**Aline:** But are they taking the Girls Trip swings? Are they taking the Mamma Mia swings? Or are they taking more of the art – which again, and love those more arthouse type movies, obviously a thing I love. But I’m talking about more the sort of commercial in-the-box comedy character-based, you know, Bad Moms, Get Out is a good example of, you know–

**Craig:** Well Jason Blum obviously has a very successful business making genre films.

**Aline:** But I’m just talking about non-IP driven original content that is run by and includes a wider swath of the community who are desperate to tell those stories. I am sure every writer, we all have something in our drawer that we would love to do that way. And frankly right now people are going to streamers to do that.

**Craig:** I would. I mean, I’m just being honest with you. I would. I mean, unless I had something – I mean, look, Mamma Mia would be – that’s different because that is IP and all the rest of it. If I had something that was akin to, well, if I had something that I thought was an interesting $25 or $30 million movie I would be going to a streamer without question. Without question.

**Aline:** So maybe that’s a hole in the theatrical feature environment then. Maybe not.

**Craig:** They just don’t do it. I mean, the problem is you’re right. There is this massive hole there. But you can’t get a movie in theaters without distribution. And these major studios control it.

**Aline:** And giant marketing costs.

**Craig:** Well, exactly.

**John:** So there’s a project I’m doing which may end up at Netflix. And part of the discussion was it was hard to envision what the Friday night of this movie would be. It’s just like could you get enough butts in seats on Friday night to make this smaller comedy work. But if it were on a streamer that pressure is just not there. And so I think people would find it in their own time and it wouldn’t be that sense of like it has to be this giant weekend.

**Aline:** Interestingly though, when those movies drop on Netflix they do get humungous, crazy-huge eyeball numbers on the first weekend.

**Craig:** So they claim. [laughs] So they claim.

**Aline:** No, well I do believe that. Because–

**John:** Always Be My Maybe is a good example.

**Aline:** You guys know you turn on your streamer box and that’s the first thing there. And they have this marketing which is insane. You pay to subscribe to this service and it’s pushing something on you. And you’re not sure what you want to watch and everybody looks at each other and says great. And it’s new and it’s being promoted to you. So, you know, there’s nothing – so I don’t know, maybe this new studio that we’re creating is a subscription service.

**John:** So let’s bring this around and talk about where we’re at and sort of what we can do to sort of make this better.

**Aline:** The quotes?

**John:** The quotes. I do think in a world where quotes become less important the transparency in terms of what you’re getting paid is helpful. And I see more of that happening in TV. And in TV there are clear rungs that you’re going up through. So if people publicize like I’m a story editor on this show, this is what I’m getting, that is truly helpful for people figuring out am I getting paid more or less than sort of the average for this role.

A thing I’m going to probably do and I’ll just commit to actually doing it now is on Aladdin it’s going to be one of the probably last movies that’s going to have traditional residuals. And so I’ll just publicize, as I get each green envelope on Aladdin I will put up on the site how much I’m getting from those envelopes because it’s going to be huge. That’s a big movie and this is classically how writers were able to make a living is the constant residuals that come through.

And those are going to go away, too. And that’s another future topic, but figuring out how we sustain a career without the good residuals we’ve traditionally had is going to be a challenge.

**Aline:** Data would help the representatives. Because if you had data about what everyone was getting paid your agent could say, you know, this person and this person have a similar track record, or this person has made a special contribution in this way. And here’s another instance where someone did something similar and this is how they were recompensed. So, secrecy always benefits certain groups.

**Craig:** I agree. I mean, having representatives would also help representatives. Because when I listen to this—

**Aline:** Well, the lawyers generally do the, right?

**Craig:** Well lawyers do the negotiating of the hard numbers. Or a lot of the internal numbers. But one thing that agencies can do, particularly the big ones, is say I can tell you exactly what this person got or this person got. They’re really good when you can talk about participation, backend. They know how those things work. Because we’re not the only deals that impact us. Again, because we’re over-scale there are other people like actors and directors and agents who are making certain kinds of deals that we can also make, depending on what the kind of movie is.

So having more information like that is great.

**Aline:** And also these are intangibles, agents have long relationships with these folks and bring them numerous people. And so they can be saying, “Hey, F-you. Step up. You know what’s right.”

**John:** And at the same time they can also be saying, you hope that they’re always advocating on your own behalf. But they could also be advocating on other people’s behalves or trying to get this other thing to happen.

**Aline:** Or trying to protect a relationship.

**John:** Exactly. So it does work both ways.

**Craig:** It does. I mean, we’ve all paid 10% to agents our entire careers I guess because we assumed that it was working in our favor.

**John:** All right. Let’s move on to the marquee topic for today which is idea management. So this came up to me because there’s a couple projects that I’m sort of noodling on, so I’ve not really started writing them yet but they are things that are in my head. They’re like the shiny jewels that I pick up and hold in my virtual hand and stare at them and do a little work on and then set them back down. And we haven’t really talked about this on the show which is that sort of early stage of holding onto and sorting through your ideas before you start writing and some best practices on that.

Because what really occurred to me this past week is I had some insomnia and I realized I was doing that rather than actually letting myself fall asleep. I was like so worried about holding onto this idea and focusing on it that I couldn’t set it down and actually go to sleep. So, Craig let’s say you have a good idea, it’s midnight, you’re headed to bed. You have a good idea. Do you get out of bed and write it down? What do you do with that idea that occurs to you?

**Craig:** If there’s something that happens right there while I’m in bed, my iPad is on my nightstand so I’ll just send myself a quick email. I have in the past said to myself you’ll remember this and then I don’t. I just remember not remembering it and being very angry. But that’s not really where most of my thinking happens. By the time I’m going to bed I’m just tired and I want to go to bed. Most of my thinking happens, well, most of my freeform thinking happens in the shower. That’s where I like to just think.

**Aline:** We’ve established this.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Aline:** We’ve had a lot of mind images of Craig in the shower over the years if you’re a Scriptnotes fan.

**John:** Aline, you have that late night idea, what do you do with that idea?

**Aline:** So I do a lot of my thinking in the bathtub.

**Craig:** Oh, it’s the same thing.

**Aline:** It is the same thing. A bathtub. But also when I go to sleep I try and think about something that I’m noodling on or have to solve. And I don’t think I wake up instantly with the answer but I do try and noodle on it because I know that that’s a fertile period. I will say like Rachel and I frequently had this conversation – I don’t write things down very often because I feel like if it’s a good idea it will persist and it will return to me. And I know a lot of people who think I’m insane who are real note-takers. And for them they need to see it concretized. If I start writing on an idea too soon I’ll kill it. It’s like I’ve over-watered the plant.

So I have to kind of keep it in a back-burnery place where only my subconscious is working on it until it’s kind of formed before I start putting voice to it, because there’s something about rendering it that sort of makes it less magical and interesting for me. So if I’m going to email myself something it’s a line of dialogue. Sometimes I think of lines of dialogue in the bathroom or in the bed. And then sometimes it’s plot stuff that I cannot fix. So, I would say the bathtub especially is a place where I go, oh, you know what, that’s where I go. And then I will put notes – I usually use the notes app. And kind of get it down.

But again I try and get it down in a skeletal way because somehow if I fully express an idea in print it doesn’t engage me in the same way.

**John:** I totally get that. You just did an over-watering metaphor which I really do like because it does kind of feel like it’s a garden that you have to tend every once and a while because if you don’t actually pay attention to the thing it can just wither and die on its own. And sometimes it’s best that it wither and die. Like it really did not want to be anything that you pursued. But also things can overgrow and just become too crazy.

And like I’ll try not to put something down in print and fix it in one form because I know it’s growing in different things and it could be combining with a different idea. You know, these really inchoate ideas they’re sort of competing for attention in your mind. They’re trying to get brain cycle. Like, no, no, think about me, think about me. And that’s the only way that they can actually become real projects.

**Craig:** Yeah. I don’t, you know me, my whole thing is I don’t write the script until I know exactly what the hell it is that I’m writing anyway. So in a weird way what we’re talking about here is this kind of idea gathering process. That is the process for me. I’m gathering ideas and writing things down on notecards and putting snippets of dialogue in little clustery files. But I don’t start writing anything until I see it. It’s like, oh, I always think of this wonderful scene from Searching for Bobby Fischer. Do you love Searching for Bobby Fischer the way I love it?

**John:** I do not recall it well, so obviously I don’t.

**Craig:** My god. Aline? Big Searching for–?

**Aline:** I haven’t seen it recently.

**Craig:** Oh, Steven Zaillian wrote and directed, brilliant. And there’s a moment where Ben Kinsley as the grandmaster is teaching this little kid. And he’s looking at the board and Ben Kingsley says, “You can get to checkmate in five. Don’t move until you see it.” And the kid is looking at it and he goes, “I don’t see it.” And Ben Kingsley says, “Don’t move until you see it.” And the kid says, “I don’t see it.” And Ben Kingsley says, “Here, I’ll help you. And he takes his arm and he wipes all the pieces off the board and they all clatter to the floor. It’s gorgeous. And he says, “There.” So now the kid can look at the blank board and then imagine the pieces and then he sees it.

And a lot of times for me I’m like don’t write it until you see it. That’s the way I kind of think about it. Don’t write it until you see it.

**Aline:** There’s also a thing that can happen where if you iterate something before you’re ready it creates a box or a fence in your brain and you can never get over it to where the good idea was. And so I fear that a little bit. Like you don’t want to start putting in those 2x4s and beams until you really know what you’re doing because you can get trapped in your edifice and then you can’t ever – because I was talking to another writer yesterday about sometimes you see something on the page and it’s so not what you want that you’re like I don’t remember writing, I don’t remember being a writer, I don’t remember what stories are. Have I ever seen a movie? It can block you.

So, I’ve written – a lot of the stuff I’ve done have been originals, 27 Dresses, Morning Glory, Crazy Ex, were all ideas that I had for a very long time. And what I tend to do is I store them up and I think about them until I meet the person.

**John:** Now did you have a list of those ideas?

**Aline:** No.

**John:** So just floating in your head somewhere? It’s like I want to do a movie about that.

**Aline:** They’re floating in my head. And then 27 Dresses I was like, you know what, this is a good idea. I should do this. Because my best friend Kate had been in 12 weddings at that point and it was insane. And I could see that the wedding industry was getting to this point where she was asked to do stuff that was bonkers.

And I pitched it to a lot of people. I think I pitched that to 11 people and the person that I didn’t know who latched on to it right away was John Glickman. So when I find often a collaborator or person I know this is the right person who can help, you know, water this with me and then I’m in a process. And with Morning Glory that was JJ. I pitched it to JJ I think the first time I met him. And then Crazy Ex was an idea, the title and the character – because I think there’s – I really relish and am giggly about all the moments in my life when I’ve been a crazy ex, even if it’s just like I want that sweater and there’s only one left in the small, you know, and I stalked it. And I always loved that idea.

And when I met Rachel I went, boom, that’s how to do it. So, I think it’s nice to carry around a little suitcase of notions in your brain and then when you think, oh, you know what? Now’s the moment to do it. This wedding stuff is getting so over the top that a movie about a perpetual bridesmaid, this is a good time to do it. So either the circumstances or you meet a person or you think of the genre. You know, you have an idea and you think, oh, the way to do this is, you know, this is a movie about terrible in-laws, but it’s Meet the Parents, or it’s Get Out. It takes a certain form.

And to me if the thing isn’t good I’ll forget about it.

**John:** Craig, do you have an idea suitcase?

**Craig:** No. I’m not a big idea person like that. In other words I’m not a big “here’s an idea for a movie.” I was like that early in my career because early in my career you were rewarded for that. Over time it seems to me that my skill isn’t so much in coming up with a wonderful idea for a movie. My skill it seems is figuring out how to write a movie. So, and that kind of meshed nicely with the way the business evolved because suddenly—

**Aline:** Well I would argue that that’s not true of Chernobyl.

**Craig:** Well, Chernobyl isn’t an idea. In other words, Chernobyl – it’s a topic.

**Aline:** The way you did it. Well, it’s a topic, but the way you did it and the way you chronicled it.

**John:** That’s execution rather than idea.

**Craig:** Correct. I think of that as actually the best example of the fact that I can execute things. But I don’t think of it as like, in other words what you do there – I used to do it. I don’t. I don’t know if I was ever really good at it to be honest with you. I mean—

**Aline:** So just to bring this back around, one of the reasons I’ve always done that is because that’s how I got hired. And there was not a lot else out for me. I was not being offered the big IP. Even back in the day I wasn’t getting Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I wasn’t well-known enough in those days. And that’s, you know, that’s why I chased Devil Wears Prada. Talk about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I chased that. Every single time they replaced the writer I said to my agent, “Get me in, get me in, get me in.” Because there’s so few things like that.

So I wasn’t getting – because there weren’t – there were so few pieces like that. Annie is one. Weirdly Cinderella was a thing that I came up with and pitched, strangely. That’s how long ago that was. That was before they were doing that. Annie is an example of like that’s a big piece that got given to me, but one of the reasons I did that is because for whatever reason I just have not been gifted with things that already had momentum. Annie was one, but not often.

**Craig:** At least in the beginning I certainly wasn’t either. So I was coming up with ideas and things. Some of them were really bad, but then they made them. Right? So they made some movies, some of them did OK. Most of them didn’t do well. What happened was I got stuck on sequels. And I guess at that point I was able to demonstrate some sort of executional ability.

But, yeah, when you start out you do kind of need to go here is my suitcase, here are my samples. Would you like to buy? And I do remember, you know, I mean, look, there’s a movie that I co-wrote with my partner back then called Senseless. It’s just a bad idea for a movie. It’s really just terrible. It’s a terrible idea for a movie.

The reason it got made I think is because it was in the middle of the video era when they would make anything. And, you know what? Penelope Spheeris did her best to direct and Marlon Wayans was really funny. And Matthew Lillard was really funny. But the idea was just dumb. It was just a bad idea for a movie.

**Aline:** Some ideas don’t work.

**Craig:** I mean, but that one honestly mystified me – I remember my writing partner and I were taking a walk and we had just pitched this thing. Because we were, again, we were like we need to get the suitcase out. No one is giving us anything. We have to make our own opportunities. And he said, “Do you think they’ll make that?” And I said not a chance. Not a chance. And then they did.

**Aline:** So one thing I would say for aspiring writers, when you are breaking in and you start to get those round of general meetings they’re going to say to you, “What do you want to write? Is there an article? Is there an idea? What do you have?” Wait a second. Get to know this person. Have a nice general meeting. Just chat in general about their movies. Hope you bump into them. Don’t give your babies, because in the beginning, you know, anybody who wanted to meet with me I’m a more reticent person so I would meet someone and five minutes into it they would say, “What is something you’ve dreamed of writing your whole life?” And I would think I just met you. I don’t know if I want to entrust you with that.

But I’ve seen young writers often, they’re just so excited to be in a meeting with someone that they take one of their idea babies out of their suitcase – not a good place to keep babies.

**Craig:** Put holes in it.

**Aline:** And they give it to someone and then that’s where it loses its momentum. So if you have something that’s near and dear to you in the beginning you might want to write it, or wait until you find someone who is truly a champion. Because the other thing I was naïve about is people take these general meetings with you. They actually haven’t read your work.

And one of the funniest – I don’t know if I’ve told this story on this podcast before – but I was in a meeting, my very first round of general meetings. And while I was sitting there an assistant walked in and said to the executive, “I have that coverage on Jersey Angel you wanted.”

**John:** Your script.

**Aline:** And I was so dumb that I didn’t know that that was – she hadn’t read it. And was taking the meeting as a favor to my agent. And so that was a person saying, “Gee, what are your hopes and dreams. And give me those things that reside in your soul,” who hadn’t actually read my script.

So, just, you know–

**John:** So I’m taking a lot of generals right now because there’s just a bunch of folks who over the years I’ve never met, or all the executives moved from one company to another so I’m just taking those generals now. And I’ve found that, granted I’m not at the beginning of my career, but I will generally go into those meetings with some sense of like, OK, these are the kinds of things they might be looking for. And so I may not pitch a specific story, but I’ll pitch like this is a story area that I’m really interested in. Like I just read an article about this thing and I think there’s probably a great movie to be made that’s looking at the reality of this but also pushes it into this fantasy aspect. And so those are helpful things to have as you go into those things.

Just give them a sense of like what your taste is and what’s interesting to you. And a lot of times I really am pulling some stuff out of the old idea suitcase. Like I’ve always wanted to do something with this place. Or like this old idea, I realize now in 2020 is actually more about this and that is a point of discussion. So, a deal I’m making now was out of one of those general meetings where I had an old thing but I realized like, oh, actually the way you make this story now in 2020 has a whole different [valence].

**Aline:** You said something so brilliant once and I think about it a lot, so I’m going to make you repeat it. Somebody said I have two ideas and I don’t know which one to write. And you said pick the one with the better ending.

**John:** That was Episode 100.

**Aline:** Ah, I love that piece of advice. And to go with that is I would say pick an idea that suggests a structure. Because sometimes I’ve had ideas – that’s why I had not done Crazy Ex because I didn’t know what the structure of that could be. And it wasn’t until Rachel and I started talking about it and I realized it was a TV show so you could kind of examine the prism. I was worried that a movie would be too reductive and broad.

Pick an idea that suggests a structure to you. Because if it just seems like a good idea for a movie, and I will tell you something quite counterintuitive. Things that are set on the backdrop of a wedding, rom-coms, a lot of people their first movie is like, “Oh, it’s the destination wedding. Or it’s the wedding where you find out your divorced parents fall back in love or whatever.” Weddings are brutal structurally because they are not escalating. So, your rehearsal dinner to your ceremony to the football game on the lawn, they don’t have a natural escalation in stakes. Actually it seems like that’s a structure. It’s not. And I’ve wandered down that garden path more than once because I’ve written a bunch of things that have weddings in them. They’re actually very difficult.

If you’re starting out and you have an idea, the one that suggests I have to be there by Tuesday to get a thing is probably the easiest the one, the simpler one to write. Something that suggests a journey. Suggests a story.

**John:** Like your Crazy Ex-Girlfriend example, Arlo Finch I had in my head for a very long time and I just didn’t know what it was. It’s not really a movie. It’s not really a TV show. And then I had a conversation with a middle grade novelist and I realized like, oh, this is a middle grade novel series. That’s what it is. I started writing that night and that became the thing. So, you do hold on to those things not knowing quite what form they want to take, but you know that there’s a thing there that’s interesting and appealing.

**Aline:** But I still think I would still argue Craig that the idea of doing Chernobyl in the way that you did it is a great idea because, you know, you could make a lot of Chernobyl movies but they would have been the more typical accident of the week kind of thing. So it’s just – it’s a cool idea just to examine that because it’s not something that people know enough about. But also the way in which it was done is a cool idea. I think.

**Craig:** Well thank you.

**John:** Take the compliment, Craig. She’s complimenting you.

**Craig:** I mean, you know, I’m not good – I’m really bad at compliments. Mostly when somebody gives me a compliment my mind immediately starts creating a very good rebuttal.

**Aline:** Or you think, “What an idiot? What a dummy?”

**John:** They couldn’t recognize the real me, because if they knew the real me they’d be disappointed.

**Craig:** I don’t think you understand. See, I’m not really very good. That’s kind of, yeah. Well, you know, Chernobyl couldn’t have been a movie anyway. That’s true.

**Aline:** Part of your idea was we’re going to really look at this in a very granular beat-by-beat and the millions and millions of bad decisions that go into something like this. And that’s what makes it a great cautionary tale because all these disasters are a collision of a million mistakes, human and technical. And you need time. You needed episodes for that to unfurl. And a movie might have constrained you. Also because movies are going to follow a more traditional escalation crescendo structure which sometimes things don’t want to be. And those make you be phony.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Aline:** Sometimes the form is a terrific idea. I haven’t seen it, but doing Emily Dickinson’s life as sort of like an emo-teen-pop thing which they’re doing on Apple, I have no idea what that’s like. But it’s taking the biopic and making it, from what I’ve seen it looks like a cool Ariana Grande video. That’s a cool idea.

**Craig:** Have you guys ever heard someone pronounce biopic “bi-opic?”

**Aline:** Yes.

**Craig:** It’s amazing. Every time it happens I get so excited.

**Aline:** I have to stop correcting. We have a thing in our house but with fewer and less. And two of us are quite strict on it and one of us is really annoyed.

**Craig:** That would be Will, your husband, I’m assuming.

**Aline:** No, he’s a bit of a stickler in a way. One of my children finds it very annoying to be policed.

**John:** And your dogs are like I don’t know what you’re talking about.

**Aline:** Yeah, we’re idiots.

**Craig:** We don’t speak at all.

**John:** Let’s answers some questions here. First question is an audio question from Nathan Morris.

Nathan Morris: Hello, my name is Nathan. I’ll give you a dollar each if you can guess where I’m from by my accident. I’m currently living in New York. I have a question about working with actors. I’m a writer-director. I’m working on a little passion project right now to prove to the world what I can do. It’s all improvised. I wrote large backstory for each of my characters. During casting and workshopping with them was really fun and some ideas come up that the actors thought of about the characters I created.

I used a couple of these in the edit I’m putting together now and I’m wondering should they be credited as writers because they did create the joke? I don’t want to annoy anyone, piss anyone off, or just be a dick. Yeah, so I’d love to know what you guys think about that. I’m especially interested after hearing your Veep episode. Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes.

**Craig:** I’ve got to tell you all I did was listen to his accent for the first half of that question. I have no idea what the question was.

**John:** So here was his question. He made a short that involved a lot of actors who were doing improv.

**Craig:** Oh, yes, yes, yes.

**John:** He is wondering whether he should credit them as writers for the improv.

**Craig:** No. So, the, well, listen, it’s entirely up to you, Nathan, how you go about these things if you are not working within our Writers Guild world. In the Writers Guild world writing credit is for literary material. That means specifically material that has been written down on paper. So ad-libs, things that come up on the day that actors are putting out there are not considered literary material so it’s not creditable as writing.

If you are creating something that is highly improvisational you can consider it. But I would point out that even in shows like—

**Aline:** Curb.

**Craig:** Curb Your Enthusiasm, right, which there is a very strict outline that’s been written but inside of those scenes the dialogue can be often very improvised, those actors are not getting writing credit either. It’s just sort of understood this is how it works. Also I think he’s from South Africa.

**John:** All right. Aline, what is your impression both of what Nathan should do with his actors and where he’s from?

**Aline:** He’s from Australia.

**Craig:** It’s one or the other.

**John:** I’m pretty sure Australia.

**Craig:** Those two are always in my mind competing.

**Aline:** Interesting. Yeah, there’s a lot of the Christopher Guest movies and Curb are examples of the story is preset. They’re given material and then the dialogue is – what I wouldn’t do is spring it on anyone. Just make sure going into it that they know what examples you’re following and that this is how you’re going to be doing it.

It’s different if they’re sitting in a room with you and you’re typing it together.

**John:** Yeah. I think our consensus is that these actors sort of knew going into it that this was an improv situation. They probably don’t have an expectation that you are going to be giving them writing credit for this. But, of course, what we really care about is where you’re from and Nathan has an answer. So I actually heard the answer so I know. But I wasn’t convinced – I was thinking South Africa originally, but I was also thinking it could be a British accent, like a specific one that I was just missing. But let’s hear Nathan give us his answer.

**Craig:** Oh good.

Nathan: My accent is from…New Zealand.

**Craig:** Ah!

**Aline:** Ugh.

Nathan: Aotearoa. That’s the Maori name for my country. And we also have tall poppies [in germ]. Some would say greater than the Australians. Maybe that’s tall poppy syndrome right there. OK, I will stop wasting your time.

**Aline:** I feel bad about that because my sister-in-law is from New Zealand.

**Craig:** It’s really close. I mean, honestly, I mean Australia certainly is closer to New Zealand than South Africa. But I make that mistake, I mush those two together all the time. All the time. Mush those three together I guess all the time. Shame on me.

**John:** Shame on us. Monica asks, “Hi John, what was your budget on God and how did you go about funding it?” So God was a short film I made with Melissa McCarthy in 1998. We shot on 35mm film. We shot on short ends. We got the film pretty cheap but processing is expensive. So the full budget on that was $30,000. You can now make that same movie for $3,000.

**Aline:** John, where can people see The Nines?

**John:** The Nines, anywhere. It’s actually streaming kind of in all the places. It’s on iTunes but it’s also everywhere else.

**Aline:** It’s so good.

**John:** Thank you very much. So Melissa McCarthy’s character in God shows up again in The Nines. And as we all know Melissa McCarthy is a treat and a gem and a wonder of our age.

**Aline:** And Ryan Reynolds in it. It’s really good.

**John:** Thank you. Paul asks, “I watch a lot of movies and notice that it usually starts raining at the beginning of the third act or the end of the second act when things get bad in the story. Is this a tradition that should be used? Is it a crutch? Is there a way to stop using rain as a crutch? Should it be written in the script or left to a cinematography decision? I don’t hate it when I see it but I don’t love it either. It’s in many of my most beloved movies of all time. Help.”

**Aline:** I mean, it’s a huge rom-com trope.

**John:** It is a trope.

**Aline:** We made fun of it on the show. It’s a huge rom-com trope. You know, using the environment to reflect the inner feelings of a character, so as things are darkening the weather is reflecting that. That’s why you can call it out in a comedic sense because climaxes of romances in romantic comedies are people speaking to each other in the rain which is a thing I’ve never done. Dude, it’s raining. Let’s have this fight under an awning. People will stand there getting drenched with rain drenching them. Women with like their shirts drenched having a romantic conversation with someone. So, externalizing people’s emotions in the weather can sometimes reinforce the atmosphere, but sometimes can just make it seem like hilariously people’s emotions are being externalized.

**Craig:** Yeah. It’s a trope. I mean, is it a crutch? I don’t know if it’s a crutch. Although I do agree that there are times when you want to see your characters at a low moment and you decide it’s not enough to just know that they’re feeling terrible. You have to also rain directly on them, like those cartoons where a little cloud follows someone around.

**Aline:** But have you guys ever just stood there while it was raining?

**Craig:** Yeah, no.

**John:** No!

**Aline:** And spoken to someone?

**Craig:** No. I mean, unless I was so depressed because I was at the end of my second act. I mean, that’s the point. It’s silly but there’s a lot of silly stuff in movies. Like the fact that usually people don’t have rear view mirrors in their cars. So, I would say, look—

**Aline:** And they talk to people who are sitting in the middle of the back seat.

**Craig:** And they don’t say goodbye when they hang up a phone.

**Aline:** All these things we love.

**Craig:** All these things we love.

**Aline:** I think it can be cartoony. I mean, I love a sunlit noir. I love a movie where someone is going through some horrible noir. After Dark, My Sweet is the one I think of. Where it’s a noir but it’s Jason Patric being sort of bathed in horrible, horrible California sunshine instead of dark.

**Craig:** Yeah. Glaring hangover light.

**John:** So a thing that people who don’t make movies probably don’t realize is that whenever you write rain in the script, when you actually show up on set it is miserable generally because like the rain towers and the whole process of getting people wet and getting people dry and shooting in the rain is a huge hassle. You’re trying to protect everything. So I learned this firsthand on Go which does have rain in the third act. And it’s a hassle. It’s fully appropriate in Go. It actually serves a character purpose. It’s part of the reason they hit Ronna. But good lord, rain is a brutal thing.

**Craig:** Rain is hard to do. One thing, Paul, you would not do is leave it up to the cinematographer. The cinematographer does not make that decision. The cinematographer has to figure out how to shoot it. But, yes, it is absolutely within your domain to write that into a script. And then, you know, people can discuss after if they want to do it or not. But, yeah, it’s definitely something you should be deciding.

**John:** It is time for our One Cool Things. Now, Craig you and David Kwong just finished a massive puzzling expedition. It was like five days of work I believe?

**Craig:** Six.

**John:** Six days. So I’m going to break precedent and I’m actually going to recommend a puzzle thing. This is called Reg Ex Crossword. And so it’s the perfect Venn diagram intersection of what’s interesting to me and what’s interesting to you. So Reg Ex or regular expressions are the computer code that helps do pattern matching. So it’s how you find text within text. It is really esoteric and strange. This is a crossword puzzle situation where the clues are actually just regular expressions so you have to figure out what letters could possibly match up with those things. It’s very ingeniously done.

Craig, I hope you will clear out your afternoon schedule so you can try some of this.

**Craig:** I shouldn’t, but I will.

**John:** So, weirdly a cross between what we love about crossword puzzles and also what we love about Sudoku and only certain things can fit in certain boxes.

**Craig:** It actually sounds like a cross between what I love about crosswords and what I love about you.

**John:** Aw, Craig.

**Craig:** Aw.

**Aline:** Aw.

**John:** Aline knows that I’m blushing right now.

**Aline:** He’s blushing. Do you guys know what Sooth is?

**John:** Sooth is the relaxation app.

**Aline:** Sooth is a massage app.

**John:** Oh yes. Yes.

**Aline:** Sooth is an on-demand massage app. And I’ve got to say I’ve used it for a bunch of years now. It’s great.

**John:** We’ve used it.

**Aline:** And I’ve had many, many massage therapists. You can request the same one. But the beauty of Sooth is that you’re like, you know what in about an hour I’m in the mood for a massage and I have time. And they’ll come to your house and they bring the table. And I’ve had many, many Sooth massages and they’ve been different people and they’ve all been pretty great.

You know how sometimes you go to a spa and someone starts and you’re like this is – what am I doing?

**John:** There’s going to be 45 more minutes of this.

**Aline:** There’s going to be 45 minutes of nothingness. These are really good, strong massage therapists. I’ve only had women because I’ve had too many creepy male massages in my life. So I can only speak for the female massage therapists on Sooth. But they’re really good. They come to your house. And what’s nice about that is when you’re done, you know, and after they go you just get in your shower. You’re not in a spa. That’s a whole – I don’t like things that are a whole thing. Going to get a massage can be a whole thing.

But Sooth makes it into a really easy, pleasurable way to get a massage in your home.

**John:** Nice. That sounds like an ad for Sooth but it’s actually just a One Cool Thing. Craig, what’s your One Cool Thing?

**Craig:** Well I don’t know if I’ve mentioned Assassin’s Creed Odyssey yet.

**John:** No.

**Craig:** I’ve been playing it. So, hat’s off to Ubisoft. Every Assassin’s Creed game is kind of the same thing. I mean, it’s amazing. And yet it’s sort of like, well, you know, the Big Mac works for a reason. People like it. And in this game you’re running around Ancient Greece which is cool because you get to talk to Socrates. But what my One Cool Thing specifically about the game is sex. There is sex in Assassin’s Creed and it’s hysterical.

You know the old cliché of two people start kissing and then they just sort of pan over to a fireplace? So that’s what it is every single time. But the best part is you can play the game as a man or a woman. It’s kind of ingenious actually. There’s a beginning where there’s a brother and a sister and something terrible happens and they’re split apart. And then they have to kind of find each other over the course of time and they’re rivals. And so if you choose to play as a woman, well, you’re the sister. If you choose to play as a man you’re the brother. And then they just flop the other things. But what doesn’t change are all the people that are interested in having sex with you. And your choice is to have sex with them.

I have had sex with everyone. So I played this character, because you have an option. You can turn down people. I turn down no one.

**Aline:** Just the pulled quote from this episode is Craig Mazin for Deadline Hollywood. It’s going to be Craig Mazin, “I’ve had sex with everyone.”

**John:** Everyone.

**Craig:** My favorite thing happened the other night. For whatever reason I had sex with this woman that I used to have sex with that I hadn’t seen in a while. Then I go rescue this guy and he’s so into me right from the start, right? I’m playing as a guy. So he’s into me from the start. And then he has a brother. And he and the brother are very different. I’m like, OK, I kind of see what’s going on here. This brother is into guys, or if I’m playing as a woman he’ll be into women. It doesn’t matter. The point is he’s into me and the other one is not really. A sad story.

No. They both are. I have sex with brothers, not at the same time, but separately. And then they both find out.

**Aline:** Next quote. New article. New piece. “I had sex with brothers.”

**Craig:** I had sex with brothers. And then I dumped both of them. It was great.

**Aline:** Have you guys seen the Black Mirror with Anthony Mackey in it?

**John:** I have seen that one.

**Craig:** No.

**Aline:** You have?

**John:** Yeah.

**Aline:** Yeah!

**John:** It’s sort of that situation.

**Aline:** Yeah. Craig have you seen that one?

**Craig:** I’m living it, man. I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. I’m having sex with everyone.

**Aline:** Well, it can get tricky.

**Craig:** One of the quests in the game is you have to go get somebody’s like armor from a special blacksmith. And you go to the blacksmith and he’s like, well, and he’s like a big burly dude. He’s like, “I would, but you know, I don’t know. Maybe if you make it worth my while.” I mean, he’s literally saying, “You know, if you have sex with me I’ll do it.” And I’m like, done. In. And he’s like, “The only problem is I need special herbs to actually have an erection.” So I have to go and like kill some mountain lions or something so I can collect herbs to give it to a blacksmith to have sex with him in exchange for armor.

I mean, that’s a day. That’s a freaking day.

**Aline:** What’s going to happen when we find out this is not actually happening?

**Craig:** Yeah. There is no game called Assassin’s Creed Odyssey. [laughs]

**John:** Craig is just sitting there staring at a black screen. [laughs]

**Craig:** Or I’m doing it. First of all, I have to find a blacksmith. A real blacksmith.

**Aline:** Brothers.

**Craig:** Brothers. I have to find brothers. I have to find an old flame. I want to be clear. Every single, and I urge people when they’re playing Assassin’s Creed, whether you’re playing as a man or a woman, have sex with everyone. Because you end up kissing everyone and then like the camera just drifts away. And the best part is the next thing that happens is like time has passed and you’re alone. They’re gone. So you have sex with people and they just leave. It’s perfect. It’s a perfect world.

**Aline:** It’s perfect for our Tinder age.

**Craig:** It really is.

**Aline:** Tinder.

**Craig:** It’s like, hey, yeah, I’ll have sex with you for armor. And you’re gone.

**John:** That should be the title of the episode. [laughs]

**Aline:** I’ll have sex with you for armor and then you’re gone.

**Craig:** And then you’re gone. It’s fantastic.

**John:** Oh, that is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Victor Krause. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions like the ones we answered today. But for short questions on Twitter Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust. Aline, do you want to be Twitter mentioned now?

**Aline:** Yeah.

**John:** Great. You are @?

**Aline:** I’m @alinebmckenna.

**Craig:** @alinebmckenna. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find the transcripts. We get them up the week after the episode airs.

You can find all the back episodes of the show at Scriptnotes.net. And you need to sign up there if you want to use the app to listen to back episodes. So some people were having a hard time listening to back episodes on the app. It’s because you have to go to Scriptnotes.net to log in there. The app exists for iOS and Android.

You can also download 50-episode seasons at store.johnaugust.com. Aline, you use the Scriptnotes app?

**Aline:** Oh yeah. I do. I do. I’m not a completist, but I’m pretty close to it. I’ve been an early fan and I was an early fan partly because when you’re a screenwriter you’re so lonely and the fact that there was a show where I could listen to two of my friends talking was so nice.

**Craig:** It was like you weren’t alone.

**Aline:** Yes. And it was like my buddies are over and we’re talking about screenwriting. But as you know I’m a legit fan and I recommend the show all the time. And so I did recently when I was writing a script I went back and I did kind of a deep dive into the early episodes.

**John:** Well, Aline, thank you for being a super fan and also for coming back again on the show.

**Craig:** Thank you, Aline.

**John:** To be our buddy and talk through these issues with us.

**Aline:** I just looked it up and Batgirl and Catwoman, they were both on Adam West, but I can’t remember – and fans will tell us which one used to appear in the credits.

**Craig:** And Eartha Kitt was Catwoman right?

**Aline:** Julie Newmar did the first two years, and then Eartha Kitt.

**Craig:** See, I’m an Eartha Kitt fan because she would [purrs]. She was great. She really leaned into the purr.

**Aline:** She was the greatest.

**John:** Yeah. And she would have sex for armor.

**Craig:** I mean, honestly I think you would, too.

**Aline:** I’m getting Craig a t-shirt that says Will Have Sex for Armor.

**Craig:** Yeah. Don’t say it like it’s bad. It’s good.

**John:** Craig, thanks so much. Have a great week.

**Craig:** Thanks guys, bye.

**Aline:** Bye.

Scriptnotes, Ep 409: I Know You Are But What Am I? Transcript

July 25, 2019 News, Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2019/i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** Oh my god. My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 409 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the podcast it’s another round of the Three Page Challenge, where we take a look at three pages from scripts our listeners have written and give our honest feedback. We’ll also be discussing to what degree our characters should have self-awareness and answer some listener questions about meddling actors and producers.

**Craig:** Ooh. Meddlers. Love meddlers.

**John:** Now, Craig, just to save the people at Deadline some time is there going to be anything in this episode that they’re going to want to do a transcript of and pretend that it’s an exclusive article.

**Craig:** Well, I wish they would do a transcript of this part where I say, “Deadline what are you doing?” I mean, we literally said – so in our last episode you and I had a conversation about the WGA and the agencies and the fight that’s going on between them and we both predicted that Deadline would just life the transcript of it without permission and print a whole lot of it, reprint a whole lot of it without permission, nor would they call us to even ask for comment or follow up or insight. They would simply just copy it over and turn it into an article.

And they did. Except they did something else. They called it an exclusive.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I’m sorry, how is this an exclusive when we put it out there to the world already?

**John:** Yeah. So, a free episode that had dropped hours earlier is now an exclusive because you typed it up a little bit I guess.

**Craig:** And sort of pushing the boundaries of free use? Like can they go ahead and just publish the transcript of our entire show?

**John:** I don’t see what would be stopping them. So, yeah, I just don’t think it was cool.

**Craig:** No. It’s just not. It’s gross. It’s gross. Not like you and I are necessarily running to talk to trades at any given point, but you know Deadline come on. We know you listen, so like this is the second time. Can you please just cut it out? It’s weird.

Also, the characterized the entire thing as a debate. No it wasn’t.

**John:** No. It’s just us talking.

**Craig:** Which we’ve done 408 times. [laughs]

**John:** Yes. That’s what this show largely is is a dialogue between me and Craig and we don’t always agree on everything but that’s sort of the nature of why you want two people talking.

**Craig:** Weird, right?

**John:** Nuts. I mean, we did innovate the form of two people having a discussion, so.

**Craig:** Correct. Well, we may have actually innovated the form of two people talking about this topic without being dicks to each other. We may be the only ones. I don’t know. It’s nice to model good behavior, how about that?

**John:** That’s what we’ll try to do is some good modeling of good behavior today. And actually it fits very well with a lot of the things we’re talking about in today’s episode including the exclusive breaking news that we’re actually hosting something new. So, we love to do little live events and we’re doing a new panel. This is on addiction and mental health. It’s organized by Hollywood Health and Society. We are going to be talking with showrunners and mental health experts about portrayals of mental health and addiction in film and television. Really looking forward to this one. It is Wednesday July 31, 6:30 to 9:30pm. It’s going to be at SAG on Wilshire. It’s a free event but there are not a lot of tickets left. If you really want to come in person and see this thing and ask questions you can join us – the email address you email to is hhs@usc.edu. But for the first time, Craig, you and I will be streaming this live apparently on Facebook. So people who are not physically in Los Angeles can also see us have this conversation.

**Craig:** Well, I’ll trim my beard. This is wonderful. I’m so glad. And this was entirely your thrust here. You’re very smart to kind of contact these people. You and I both have enormous interest in this topic. Look, we’ve been talking about mental health issues with writers, going all the way back to our famous episode 99 I believe with Dennis Palumbo.

**John:** Correct.

**Craig:** Doing a series about mental health is something that I’m contemplating anyway doing. So, I’m fascinated by the portrayals of it in film and TV. And I’m not – you know, I’m not one of those people who gets real fussy and angry at television and movies for getting things somewhat wrong. I don’t really go on the outrage boat too often. And so it’s not that I get upset about the way that mental illness is portrayed in media as much as I’m just missing the truth. Because I’ve never really seen the truth of it. Because the truth is actually kind of hard to get across. It’s not simple.

So I’m really interested in this discussion and I’m glad that mostly we’re going to be hearing from experts rather than insisting to people that I am an expert, even though of course I am a doctor in a number of fields. Credentialed, just not by any state.

**John:** Absolutely. Credentialed in your own mind.

**Craig:** Correct. [laughs] Self-credentialed.

**John:** That is the definition of good mental health. Yeah, I’m looking forward to this conversation, too, both about how to portray things realistically, but also responsibly. And sort of what the line is for us as creators of content that the world sees, how do we do the best job we can do about portraying those things on screen? So I’m looking forward to this conversation very much.

**Craig:** Ditto.

**John:** Ditto. Now, we have our follow up on our last sort of live thing which was understand your feature contract. That was an event we did at the Writers Guild where we talked through what a screenwriter should look for in their contract. We got two pieces of follow up from that. So, Craig, do you want to start us off?

**Craig:** Sure, Alex asks, “Is there any chance that John and Craig can do a similar episode for TV, episodic contract, development, and/or overall deals? I’ve been a working TV writer for 15 years and I still have no idea what most of my contracts say. Specifically I tend to get confused about the different definitions of profit participations. Points can mean so many different things and it’s different for TV than film. And also the difference between that and residuals. How ‘locks’ work in development.

“There are a million other things that I will never understand, but I don’t actually know enough to know what’s significant.”

Well that’s a great question and there are a lot of tricky weird things in those TV contracts. I have no idea why we wouldn’t want to do something like that.

**John:** So the guild actually did the same kind of event that we did for features the week before. So they did understanding your TV contract. But I think it’s a good thing for us to do on the show at some point. So let’s make it a goal to do the same kind of thing for TV contracts because here’s a situation where I just genuinely don’t know how a lot of this works. And you don’t really either. You’ve not been through those things.

**Craig:** Yeah. I’m just learning. I mean, the only experience I have is my contract I have for Chernobyl which was kind of a single author limited series thing. And I do have an overall deal at HBO. Hey, Deadline, would you like that to be an exclusive? Would you like that? It’s not exclusive. I just reported it. Everyone knows it know.

And so I understand the basic workings of that. But we do need to dig into this and study up on it because – and we don’t want to get into this on this episode but Disney and specifically Disney+ is essentially challenging the entire way that profit participation in television is going to work. And that goes directly to this question that Alex is asking about points and how they can mean so many different things. They can also mean a whole new thing that they are proposing. So lots to dig into there.

**John:** Absolutely. And so I think whenever we do this thing we will have me and Craig there, but we’ll also have some experienced TV writers who have been through it all. Because as I have those conversations for WGA topics about this unique thing they’re facing I’m having to do so much catchup work to figure out what even is the current situation so we can anticipate what the next thing is. And so, yes, I think it’s really crucial. But the nuts and bolts of understanding what your existing contract is like is also crucial.

**Craig:** Correct. Agreed.

**John:** Cool. Also about that same episode we had a question from Sarah. She asks, “About annotations, when more than one writer works on a true life story that requires annotation who does what? Does each writer need to annotate everything relevant in their draft or only what they personally added? I’m the last writer on my current project. Being the third of three writers. And the first one who wrote in the initial draft in a foreign language was a decade ago and doesn’t even speak English.”

So, Craig, your experience with Chernobyl you were the only writer so you did all the annotations. What do you suspect is the best practice for multiple writers when coming to this situation?

**Craig:** Sure. If you’re coming onboard a project that is going to require annotation, it’s based on reality and research, and you know that you are not the first writer, and you also know that per your contract you’re responsible to turn in an annotated draft, it is fair and reasonable for you to ask that the provide you with the annotation to date. And that you are only responsible for all annotation from this point forward.

If they say well we don’t have an annotation for this draft then they have to waive that responsibility for you. It cannot be your responsibility to annotate other people’s work. They, your employer, are the legal author of that work. It’s their responsibility to have that for you when you come onboard. But in terms of everything that you write from that point forward, yes, you should be taking care of the annotation.

**John:** Absolutely. And so I think this is a situation where if you are the third writer on here you’re not going to know where everything was before this, so Craig’s suggestion that they need to provide all that stuff up to that point is crucial.

I think fundamentally there’s going to need to be some fact checker, maybe some third party who is going through this one more time to really make sure that all these things are verified because you won’t know everything that was there.

**Craig:** Yeah. And I should add I don’t know if there’s still seats available, but I am going to be doing a seminar at the Writers Guild about research. And it will cover annotation as well. For those of you that are working on projects that involve research and are wondering how I tackled that for Chernobyl or how you might tackle something like that for your project it’s going to be Wednesday July 17 at the guild in the 1A conference room on the first floor, which sounds lovely.

And it will be from 7 to 9pm. Please arrive no later than 15 minutes prior to the event. And that’s at the Writers Guild. And I will be bringing with me at the very least one of our research associates, a professional researcher named Mimi Munson who will talk about research in general. So a good thing if you are tackling that stuff.

**John:** Possibly could we send Megana Rao over there with a recorder as well so that we can have the audio for that?

**Craig:** I insist upon it.

**John:** Fantastic. Sarah also has a second question about the Start Button. She writes, “I’ve just been commenced to write a pilot based off a signed certificate of authorship, but my long form contract probably won’t be finished for months. So do I use the Start Button now and file the short form contract I have?”

That’s an easy answer. Yes. So if you’re writing a pilot hit that Start Button, send in what you have, send in the long form contract when you have the long form contract. Craig, you just this past week provided me some really great feedback on a situation you were having with the Start Button. It continues to evolve, so thank you for that.

**Craig:** No problem.

**John:** It gets better because people use it. So, the default should be like, yes, you should use it with whatever information you have. It’s helpful for you and for the guild to understand what’s going on.

**Craig:** Yeah. And I should say that – because Sarah says that signing a signed certificate of authorship is sufficient in television to get paid as opposed to features, honestly in my experience it has also been sufficient in features, although I know in some cases it’s not. The certificate of authorship is usually like a two-page document, so you might think do I need to file it. Yeah, because it’s at the very least providing the studio proof that you are writing it and they’re the legal author of it. That’s what allows them to release the money. And that is important for the guild to know at the very least so they can say, OK, so the chain of title and all that stuff begins here.

**John:** Yeah. So do it. All right, so let’s get to our marquee topic for today which is self-awareness. So this morning I was walking my dog and listening to the latest episode of Trumpcast and so Virginia Heffernan was talking with a psychiatrist named Bandy Lee about how a professional assesses somebody’s mental fitness, not just for being president of the United States, but for any situation that requires decision making. So it’s not trying to give a diagnosis of what’s going on, but basically regardless of what’s going on can this person actually do the task for which they are assigned.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** So some of the characteristics that a psychiatrist would be looking for would include the ability to understand and integrate new information. To not react exclusively emotionally. To plan beyond the short term. To consider multiple scenarios. And to recognize that they might be wrong. The awareness that their assumptions could be incorrect.

**Craig:** That’s a chilling list, my friend.

**John:** Absolutely. A chilling list for someone who has–

**Craig:** Who has none of those things.

**John:** And has access to our nuclear weapons.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** So that is not what we actually want to talk about, specifically him, but it got me thinking about our heroes and our characters and specifically the kind of things you were talking about in your solo episode, talk about thesis and antithesis, and to what degree our characters can be a little delusion. Delusional at the start of the story but actually some of the progress they need to make is towards achieving self-awareness. So I thought we might spend a few minutes talking about self-awareness in terms of our characters, our heroes, and also our villains, and the degree to which we want our characters to have insight or achieve insight over the course of the story.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, we have a traditional desire, and again in traditional narrative, for characters to develop. And certainly Hollywood movies are built around the notion of character arcs and character development. This is a big thing with them. But really what it comes down to is just sort of mirroring what we hope might happen to us in life. We are not perfect. We will never be perfect. That means every moment of every day we are less than optimal. Which means every moment of every day there’s an opportunity for us to grow or improve. That implies that we walk around with these thinking flaws. And the less we are flawed the less real we seem when we’re creating characters on film. And the more narrowly we are flawed the less we seem like real people. Because real people’s flaws are actually kind of integrated and complicated.

**John:** Yeah. I’ve decided now I’m always going to think of this classic hero, so the classic hero of a Pixar movie, but also the archetypal hero as the Joseph Campbell/Craig Mazin hero.

**Craig:** Oh, great.

**John:** And by that I’m defining the hero at the start of the story has a flawed vision of who they need to be. Sort of like they have a flawed vision of themselves in a way. So we’re going back to Marlin in Finding Nemo, he has a flawed vision of sort of what kind of father he needs to be. And that over the course of the story they are challenged and eventually learn after great difficulty to embrace this new vision for themselves. And that is a degree of self-awareness or a degree of self-actualization which feels very much in keeping with that kind of classic hero’s journey that they return to a place transformed.

And they cannot have the ability to do that transformation until they’ve left and come back.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s a sense that all of us are cradling something that’s broken. We like to think of the mental aspect of ourselves as wildly different than the physical aspect because it’s how we think and imagine it feels different, but in so many ways just as the body will begin to protect a tender spot, the psyche will protect a tender spot. And through the protection of those things you have a chance to heal.

The problem is that some people just never move beyond the protection and it goes from a healing process to a semi-crippling process. I mean, if I twist my ankle they’re going to say don’t put weight on your ankle. That’s a great idea for a while. If you never get out of your chair again you have crippled yourself out of the fear of this injury being reinjured, right, or re-hurt. You don’t want to experience that pain again. You’re so frightened of that pain you don’t want to do it.

Well, that extends similarly to the psyche. And a lot of times when we meet characters we’re looking at people who have done an actually rational thing which is protect something about themselves. The problem is it’s become dysfunctional. It’s no longer actually serving a purpose other than limiting them. And that the wound is not so much the wound, it’s the fear of the wound that is holding them back.

**John:** Yep. And one of the real challenges we face as screenwriters is that unlike the novelist who can literally tell us what is happening inside of a character’s head, as screenwriters we don’t have the ability to provide that insight into the character’s head so we can only externalize what’s happening internally. And so what you’re saying in terms of like they’re keeping their weight off of their damaged ankle, the novelist can show us what emotionally they’re doing, the choices that they’re making internally and let us into that process. The screenwriter does not have that ability. We can only externalize those things by things that characters say, things characters do. We have to find ways to present that information without literally carving open the character, unless we decide that we need to have a voiceover which is an opportunity to do that.

So, that is our unique challenge.

**Craig:** And it’s also our unique opportunity. Because when we get it right, and it is portrayed onscreen in this way, I think we have a better ability to inject it into other people’s psyches than a novel does. There’s always going to be something that’s a bit abstract by taking just the words and turning into that in your head. But watching or experiencing another human being is just a different level of empathy.

I think about our friend Mari Heller’s Can You Ever Forgive Me? and how we’re dealing with a character in the beginning that Melissa McCarthy plays who has clearly designed her entire life to be a cast around a bone she thinks is broken. She is just terrified. Absolutely terrified. And you can tell. And so she’s created all of these maladaptive behaviors to protect herself from a pain that is simply too frightening for her to contemplate feeling.

And then as the movie goes on she is forced to confront that. And so it’s not surprising that we think of all these transformative metaphors like the caterpillar turns into the butterfly. I mean, are you a Kung Fu Hustle fan by any chance?

**John:** I love Kung Fu Hustle. It’s been years since I’ve seen it but it was terrifically well done.

**Craig:** So great. And in there in a very kind of fairy tale way Stephen Chow just goes for it. Like at the end when the character finally becomes actualized he literally shows a pupa popping open, a cocoon popping open and a butterfly emerging. It’s literally like, got it, we’ve shed all this old stuff we don’t need and out comes this actualized person. The danger of these narratives, the danger of all traditional narratives, is that they essentially are promising a kind of perfection which of course is not actually achievable.

All you can hope for at the end of your own real move, whether it’s your week, your month, or your year is that you’re hopefully a bit further along and a bit better than you were before. But you’re never going to get to perfect.

**John:** The past week I watched Midsommar which I liked, I didn’t love, but what I found so fascinating about it is it’s designed as a horror movie about kind of self-actualization or about sort of dealing with the grief that you cannot actually process. And so the central character is dealing with a horrible tragedy that’s happened and the writer-director, Ari Aster, decides to have her confront these things by putting her in the craziest Scandinavian cult you can imagine.

And what I found so fascinating about it was that as extreme as it was it was about a very human relatable thing and trying to externalize an internal process in a character who was deeply stuck in a moment and becomes unstuck only through horror, through terror, and through a completely Alien kind of encounter with a different culture and civilization.

And that brings me back to your initial description of this journey that characters are on is that the role of the screenwriter is to continually challenge those characters. You described it as sort of the evil god who is making them go through terrible things. It is not that you are necessarily trying to torture them. You are forcing them to confront the natural way that they would respond in these situations and making it impossible for them to go back to their old ways.

**Craig:** Yeah, there’s a kind of instruction manual we’re providing people in the audience. What we’re saying is – well, here’s what we don’t want to say. What we don’t want to say is, hey, you in the audience, it’s actually quite easy to get over a broken heart. You just do it. Get out there, kid.

Well, the world is full of people giving you that terrible advice. It’s not easy to get over a heartbreak. The answer isn’t just “get out there.” Something else has to happen. So what we want to show people in the audience is that it’s just as hard for the people onscreen as it is for them. In fact, it might even be harder. And that we’re using those people as sort of an inspiration. Look what they went through. Look how scared they were. And look what happened on the other side. And we’re going to give you a chance to see it from all the perspectives.

So you’re not looking just through the eyes of someone who is in pain, like you might do with yourself when you’re in pain. You’re also seeing everybody else trying. And you’re picking up on the way that the person who is like you is making fundamental errors of thought.

**John:** Yeah. What’s fascinating about a movie is that it gives you a chance to actually look at a character and see that person from a third party perspective, as a third person out there, and see that they’re going through the same kinds of things that you’re going through. And so self-awareness really is that ability to see yourself both in the first person and the third person simultaneously. To recognize that you are inside your body having these experiences but also have an awareness of what you are like to the outside world and sort of where you are fitting into this society around you.

And when characters are struggling it’s because they’re not able to integrate those two realities.

**Craig:** Yeah. It’s frustrating to watch. You know, there’s that moment in a show or a movie where you get frustrated that somebody is missing it. That they don’t get it. That they’re drawing the wrong conclusion. It’s something that screenwriters use all the time to create a sense of imbalance and tension. For instance, I just started watching the new season of Stranger Things, or should it be Stranger Things? What do you say, Stranger Things or Stranger Things?

**John:** Stranger Things.

**Craig:** Stranger Things.

**John:** I guess I’m putting the emphasis on Stranger.

**Craig:** Yeah, Stranger Things. But shouldn’t it be Stranger Things?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Because Stranger Things kind of implies like, oh yeah, last season was Strange Things. This season is Stranger Things.

**John:** Or they are things owned by a stranger.

**Craig:** Stranger’s Things. So I just started watching that and there’s this little plotline, I think I’m on episode three or something, where two of the kids have this lovely little teen romance but they’ve been split apart. And they’re kind of misunderstanding each other. And it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating because they don’t have the self-awareness to understand what’s going on or to ask the right questions. And if only they would it would get solved. And when we watch these things, whether they’re children or adults, it’s frustrating for us because we’re watching someone make a mistake.

And it is a weird feeling to watch people make a mistake that you know is a mistake. You know it. If you’re watching someone putting a jigsaw puzzle together and they’re looking for this one piece and they can’t find it and you know where it is, you can see it. And their hand keeps going past it, it’s enough to make you crazy.

Well, that’s kind of what we’re doing here. And the idea is that you at home would pick up a lesson here which is maybe when you yourself are absolutely sure that something is true, or you are stumped and can’t figure something out, to take a moment and imagine someone watching you. And taking comfort in the fact that there may be something here that you can learn about yourself or somebody else that might improve it.

I mean, we don’t tell stories pointlessly. There’s some instructive value.

**John:** Definitely. When I give my presentations to grade school kids for Arlo Finch I have the same presentation that I’ve given 100 times. But one of the things I try to get to is I talk about what heroes in stories do and these are the things we look for heroes to do. Then I bring it back around to you can always see yourself as the hero in your own life. And so being able to think of yourself as the fictional character who is confronting these challenges can be a very useful psychological trick to explore what are the challenges you’re facing and what would the hero version of yourself do. And recognizing that that hero is going to face real challenges and real adversity and self-doubts and all those things. But would find a way through it. And would figure out what do they actually really need to accomplish. Who are their allies, because heroes very rarely work alone? What are the real goals they’re trying to achieve there?

And so that is a form of self-awareness is being able to think of yourself not just as the person who is stuck but as the person who can get through this thing.

**Craig:** No question. And that’s exactly how I talk to writers when I do my seminar at the guild about how to make your way through development. And that is to think of yourself as the hero of this adventure. And therefore what’s holding you back and who do you need? And what kind of relationship will help and what will hurt? And what are your needs? All these things. We’re wired to do it. We might as well take advantage of it.

**John:** Absolutely. All right, so let’s segue from that into some real scripts that we can take a look at and maybe offer some insights as well.

**Craig:** No maybe about it. We’re gonna.

**John:** We’re gonna. We’re going to offer some insights.

**Craig:** We’re gonna.

**John:** So this is our Three Page Challenge. So, for folks who are new to this segment we ask listeners to submit three pages. They can go to johnaugust.com/threepage and fill out a little form. Then our producer, Megana Rao, reads through all the entries. She picks three or four of these samples that she thinks are going to be most useful to our listener base. And so she’s not necessarily picking the best ones, or the most messed up ones. She’s picking the ones she thinks are going to have really interesting things for us to talk about.

**Craig:** I like jacked up. [laughs]

**John:** Jacked up.

**Craig:** These three pages are jacked up.

**John:** So we will sort of synopsize these before we get started, but if you want to read the real pages, which you probably should, just follow the link in the show notes. We’ll have a link to the PDFs. Or just go to johnaugust.com and look for this episode and you’ll see the PDFs that you can download.

So, since we did this last time we’ve gotten 177 new submissions. 56 of these were from women, so that’s progress.

**Craig:** Barely–

**John:** Well it is progress.

**Craig:** Where were we at before percentage wise?

**John:** So I think we’ve been as low as like 10%.

**Craig:** Oh god. OK, yes, then this is better.

**John:** So we are making progress. So thank you to folks who have been sending in.

**Craig:** Good.

**John:** Everyone who has been sending in entries, because it’s very generous, but especially we love that more women are sending in their entries as well.

**Craig:** Yep. We aim for – what is probably, you know, everyone always says 50/50. But I think if you go by the statistics you may actually want 51/49 in favor of women. I think there’s slightly more women being born. I don’t know why.

**John:** I think it’s probably some replacement rate kind of thing happens.

**Craig:** I’m down.

**John:** Good. All right, Craig do you want to start us off with Edith Rodriguez’s?

**Craig:** Sure. Edith Rodriguez has written The Days Ahead. We open on an engineering lab at night. Jeff, a classically handsome scientist, speaks with a female voice, meaning he is conversing with a female voice. He asks her to describe a sunrise. We learn that the female voice named Demi belongs to a computer. Demi struggles to complete the task. Frustrated, Jeff returns to his bedroom where he is greeted as Citizen by an automated voice. Jeff clicks a switch to change his bedroom settings from day to night.

We then cut to a rainforest where five massive defense machines known as Guardians patrol a building. Inside the city center we meet Alric Fischer who watches the humans, robots, and androids move about their daily routines before Ella comes to greet him with a kiss.

That’s Edith Rodriguez, The Days Ahead. John, what did you think?

**John:** What Edith does so well in these three pages, which people should definitely read through, is create the visual world of where her story is taking place. I could see it and I could feel it. And I could sense where I was in these three pages. And sort of – I think we should distinguish between world-building and sort of scene-setting, but I got a good sense of the physical space that I was in which was useful. And I got a sense of what universe I was in.

I would distinguish that between world-building in that I don’t know sort of the rules of this world at all, but I do know kind of what this looks like and it feels like a science-fiction kind of thing. Somewhat dystopian but sort of that beautiful dystopian. I got a good sense of that and so often as I read three pages of a screenplay I don’t get a sense of what I would be seeing onscreen and I feel like I’m getting this here. And her pacing on the page was also really good. I was never sort of slammed with big blocks of this stuff. I got a good sense for what this was.

Where I had some challenges was some of the stuff felt a little bit familiar. I felt like I’d seen a version of this in Westworld a little bit. And I didn’t have a great sense of what I would be looking for next. I got the general idea that these characters are trapped within this sort of utopian experiment but I didn’t know which horse to be betting on quite yet. And I would have loved to have a little bit more sense of that by the end of three pages.

Craig, what were you feeling?

**Craig:** Well, I had a very similar positive response. First of all, the pages look right. So we sometimes talk about the visual look of the pages. There’s a great balance between action and dialogue. I mean, the third page is all action and one little bit of dialogue. That’s fine by me. The fact is that there’s lovely amounts of white space. It makes me happy.

And I was really interested in this first page in particular. I’m not a huge fan of the classically handsome, somewhat weathered. It’s just – because it’s a little bit of “hot but doesn’t know it.” It’s just so shopworn. That description is somewhat weathered. And sits at a tech desk holding a thin silver tablet does feel a little bit like a generic future man at future place. We’ve seen that so many times. The thin silver tablet. And I don’t know what a tech desk does. Small grammar thing: “A dimly lit windowless lab” Those are the first words we see in action. Dimly-lit there I think should take a hyphen.

**John:** It’s debatable. I will tell you from doing Arlo Finch proofing is that adverbs that end in LY generally do not use the hyphen after them.

**Craig:** Really?

**John:** Yeah. So it’s the adverbs that, so fast-moving does take it. Dimly lit generally does not.

**Craig:** I’m down with that. That’s cool. I take it back. I retract. What I will not retract is that I don’t believe in 2019 you can name your futuristic science fiction enclave Zion. I believe the Matrix did that and you can’t do it anymore. It’s just too obvious. It’s too done, right? So there just needs to be a general kind of cliché and generic patrol.

But here’s what I was really excited about. I liked this conversation. Jeff says, “What do you see?” And he’s looking at an image of a sunrise. And this voice across says, “A sunrise. A beautiful sunrise.” He says, “Can you describe it?” She says, “We are both looking at it.” And he says, “I know.” That’s really good. That’s unexpected. And with that simple exchange I understand, at least my understanding, is that he’s kind of running a test. He’s evaluating. Is this entity fully intelligent or not?

And she says, “It is a seamless outpouring of color. Unmatched by any brushstroke or artist.”

“Good, you’ve been studying your prose.” Meaning he knows where she is. “Now how does it make you feel?”

And she says, “I feel like I would like to see it.”

Jeff tries to mask his disappointment. Now here what I wanted so much was for her to have made a mistake. In other words she’s imperfect, so she’s describing it because she’s taking in some of the data but then she says, “I would like to see it” revealing that she’s actually not really looking at it at all. But what happens after is it kind of feels like – because she keeps going, “Do you think I’ll ever see one out there.” She’s almost explaining like she didn’t make a mistake and that kind of bummed me out.

I was confused in his apartment which is, again, it’s just cliché future apartment. Everyone is still drinking from near empty bottles of whiskey in their cliché future apartment.

**John:** Yeah. That was a moment I marked as cliché. The character sipping on a glass of whiskey. I just feel like, you know, it’s a challenge. But in that same paragraph she sort of saves it. “Despite the view, there is somber mood to this place. He leans his forehead on the glass…close enough to reveal that the ocean sunrise view is made up of tiny almost imperceptible pixels.” So, the idea that that’s all a screen is kind of cliché. How she’s revealing it is terrific and I’ve not seen that pixel-y thing.

**Craig:** I agree with you. And this is why I really appreciate for instance the movie Her. Because a lot of moments like this wouldn’t be kind of – there wouldn’t be extra gloss with sipping on my brown whiskey out of my glass. It rather just be I’m eating some weird piece of cheese or something while this happens. It’s a very mundane life.

What I was confused about was the automated voice says, “Good morning, Citizen.” Jeff presses a moon symbol on the wall and the morning sky slowly fades into darkness. Why? Because it was morning and so–

**John:** Maybe there’s a good reason for it and we’re going to find out. But I flagged that as well because in the moment it was confusing and we can’t have too many of those in the first couple of pages because we could check out.

**Craig:** Yeah. Even if you just acknowledge an action. “Oddly, Jeff presses, this inspires Jeff to press a moon symbol on the wall.” You know, it’s just something so that you let me know that it’s OK to be confused by this.

Then when we get to this rainforest, so now it feels – I think we’re outside of whatever this city is. And then along the rooftop are these guardians. They’re huge machines. They look like prehistoric beasts. Their technology is super advanced. I don’t have a sense of how big they are. It says behemoth machines. But then they stand guard along the roof and nearby a door panel beeps. They remain motionless. Well door panels don’t really compare to behemoth machines, or behemoth machines, however you pronounce it. So I was kind of confused by size a little bit by that comparison of the door to these prehistoric things like dinosaurs I guess.

They haven’t moved. So I don’t even know if they’re like statues or what.

**John:** Yeah. So let’s talk about how you might get a sense of scale because it can be tough to do that. So you can literally tell us how big they are, but another way to do it would have something that we know the size of it next to it. So obviously a person standing next to it, but a bird lands on it and we get a sense of how big these are. That might be a helpful way just to – again, always thinking visually. How do you convey the size of things?

**Craig:** Yeah. And I was a little concerned that we’re just meeting these things in what I would call the normal world phase of our movie or show and then some rain goes through and already kind of looks like it maybe damages one of them. It’s just hard for something to get immediately damaged. I don’t even know what it is and you’ve damaged it.

**John:** Yeah. I wasn’t reading that as damaged. I was just reading like maybe it was cycling through our something. But I agree. It was not the right kind of confusion at the moment for an overall setup that I really liked a lot. I liked that we were in the rainforest which is not a classic place where we’re seeing this kind of science fiction story.

**Craig:** Yeah. And lastly we end in this atrium, which again I think is sort of sci-fi/high-tech city atrium. It just felt like that, you know. Alric Fischer is “handsome in a carefully manicured kind of way.” No, no, no. That’s hot-but-doesn’t-know-it. It’s the same. It’s from that category. I’m looking for something so much more interesting. You know?

**John:** So, he’s described next as a “clean-cut thoroughbred.” That’s better. And if I just got clean-cut thoroughbred that would help me.

**Craig:** Yeah. I think so. That would help. Now obviously short dark hair and crisp, tailored shirt, I’m a big fan of wardrobe, hair, and makeup. All that is great. It’s just this kind of handsome thing. It’s the same thing, it’s hot, pretty, beautiful, handsome, stunning, chiseled, weathered, manly, macho. It’s all the same. They’re actors. We get it.

And then Ella behind him is thin and tall. That’s just, no, nope. Thin and tall is not a thing. That’s not a person. That’s a shape. I don’t know if she is white, black. I don’t know if she’s a mess, if she’s fantastic, if she’s a thoroughbred, if she’s blue collar, she’s nervous, angry. I don’t know–

**John:** You know who is thin and tall? Shelly Duvall.

**Craig:** Shelly Duvall.

**John:** But I don’t think she means Shelly Duvall.

**Craig:** Shelly Duvall is thin and tall. Yeah, it’s just too reductive. You don’t want to reduce a human being down to weight and height. It just feels wrong.

**John:** Talk about the choices the character is making. And so how the character is dressed is a choice. How the character has got their hair. That can be a choice. But the jeans that they got, that’s not a choice.

**Craig:** Agreed. And Edith finally, because I really do think you’re on to something interesting here and you’ve got a really – I mean, I’m really intrigued by this AI thing and how he’s conversing with her. There’s something fresh about that. So every time you kind of muddy your freshness with something that feels like it’s off the regular shelf at Walmart it’s going to hurt you. So here’s a phrase from the Walmart screenwriting shelf. “There you are.”

Nobody needs to say that any more. Nobody needs to walk out to where someone is and then announce, “There you are.” It’s just so like blech.

**John:** Yeah. And here’s the way to think about it is like instead of saying that line they can say an actual interesting line.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And so every line is precious. Make it an interesting line.

**Craig:** Or say nothing.

**John:** Here are a few little things I want to point out just as other people are reading through this. She’s starting with a fade in. You don’t need to. You sort of get a free fade in at the start of your movie, so you don’t need to have that setup there if you don’t want that fade in there. And if you are using fade in again a convention is that fade in tends to be on the left hand margin for starting. Fade-ins tend to be on the left hand side, fade-outs tend to be on the right hand side. It’s just what you most commonly see.

She’s not uppercasing her sounds. So thunder echoes and booms over the El Yunque rainforest. Usually you would still uppercase those ECHOES and BOOMS. Again, this isn’t old radio theater where we have to pull out the coconuts to do stuff, but still most times in screenplays you will see those uppercased and it’s convention and I look for it and I find it. So same thing with secure door panel BEEPS. It’s just what we’re used to seeing.

**Craig:** Yeah. And even if it’s – I mean, it’s certainly not a requirement in the sense that you’re fulfilling some sort of formal need for format. John and I obviously are dead set against that sort of rhetoric. It just helps people. I think it just makes it more interesting to read. It breaks things up a little bit. You get a little bit of an impact. When something booms and you write it down that way it passes by with the same sort of impression as something beeping. But in a movie theater a boom literally shakes your abdomen because of the base. So, you know, give it to us.

**John:** All right, let’s move onto our next one. This is Carolyn Getches and Hilary C. Gish writing Formerly Fat Housewife.

Standing on a physician’s scale, Jean, who is 38 describes her failed history of dieting to a thin, model-like nurse and a gruff physician. They take her measurements and the doctor assures her that on his plan she’ll lose 75 pounds. He offers his beautiful, skinny nurse as proof of his program’s success.

Jean leaves to collect her pills from the reception area. Jean references an ad she saw in the Yellow Pages to get a free trial of the pills. She then runs into Barbara, a portly housewife from her son’s school. Barbara swears by the pills that Jean has just picked up.

Jean then goes home where we see her add these new diet pills to her collection of diuretics, amphetamines, laxatives, and more. She pops the pills and swallows without water.

Craig, what did you think of these few pages?

**Craig:** Carolyn and Hilary, I think you guys did a great job. And I want to talk about what I loved.

**John:** They knocked it out of the park. I’m so excited.

**Craig:** So good. First of all, it’s a great idea. A lot of times we’ll read three pages and we’ll say you’ve done a great job in these three pages in service of something that no one is ever going to make. Someone will make this. Someone should make this. Maybe I’ll make it. Because, you know, my grandmother was on Weight Watchers literally for 17 years of her life. It’s just – it’s an incredible kind of thing. And it never occurred to me to tell the kind of origin story. But it’s brilliant.

And the first great decision comes before the three pages. It’s a page with a quote. Now, you’ll get a lot of yammering on Reddit and Schmeddit, and all these other pages about where to put a quote, and should you put a quote, and is a quote pretentious, and blah-blah-blah. Yeah, you know when quotes are pretentious? When they’re pretentious. When you start off with, I don’t know, Nietzsche intoning about something really, really important and then you begin your post-apocalyptic Mad Max rip-off.

But here, this is what they write, “Weight Watchers International has generated over $20 billion in revenue since its founding. It all began in 1961.” That’s it.

**John:** Boom.

**Craig:** So good.

**John:** Great.

**Craig:** So good.

**John:** This is a title I can imagine actually showing up on screen. But here’s what this does. Is it says this is going to be about Weight Watchers and it’s going to be starting in 1961. And it immediately says like, OK, take everything I assume about 1961, you get that for free because it said it on this dedication page.

**Craig:** It also says this matters. $20 billion is a lot of money. We’re already going, OK, how do you get to $20 billion from this one woman, a 38-year-old woman who is overweight. And I want to know.

Now, here’s where I just was so happy with this first page. All the things they do right. So I’m in an exam room at some place. Astoria Weight Control. It doesn’t matter necessarily – the only thing I would have loved is just to get a hint that we were hearing people with accents from Queens, because it says it’s going to be Astoria, Queens. But that’s fine.

So we meet our character. We know exactly what she’s wearing, which is wonderful. And they’re even saying that she’s wearing these earrings in hopes you won’t notice that her tailored housedress is a size 33. And by the way, I know the housedress because again my grandmother wore it. And what’s happening is she’s doing something that normal humans do. It’s very recognizable to us. But for some reason writers seem to forget people do. She’s nervous. And she’s not stuttering, and she’s not shaking or sweating, she’s rambling. This is very common. She’s rambling about all the things she’s tried to do, which in its own way is an indication that Jean Niedetch – apologize, I’m not sure how to pronounce it – but that Jean is aware that she is failing.

And so a lot of this is a kind of rattling sort of covering dialogue. The nurse and the doctor could not care less. The nurse is incredibly thin. The doctor, they point out, is not. But he doesn’t have to care because he’s a man. They don’t say that. They don’t hit you in the face with it. It’s just there for you to figure out. And you do.

And she goes on and on. We hear the weight. There’s another excuse, a wonderful excuse, “My mother thinks it’s glandular.” The nurse says, “There’s no such thing, right Doctor?” Oh, it’s so mean. But it’s great because the doctor doesn’t care at all. He’s not talking to her. He’s not asking her questions. He just says, “Do what I do, you’re going to be down 75 pounds.” She says, “You really think so?” And he says, regards to the model nurse, “Look at her. She’s my best work.” As in that’s not a person. I made a thing. And I’m going to make you a thing like the thing.

I’ve learned so much already. And most importantly I am on this woman’s side. I’m not on her side because she’s yelling at someone or angry at somebody. I’m on her side because she is agreeing with people that are demeaning her and that is so identifiable. It makes me want to hug her.

Out she goes into the reception area. She pays money, or gets some freebies, and then you realize, and another thin person handing them out, there’s no regimen here. The dude is just handing out speed. He’s just handing out pills.

She runs into a friend of hers who is in a very similar situation. She says, and this is my favorite thing, of all three pages. And Jean says, “Barbara, hi. I’ve heard such good things about these little pills, I just had to give them a try. The doctor thinks it’s glandular.” She lies.

**John:** She lies.

**Craig:** She lies. I love it. It’s so good.

**John:** But, Craig, for folks who aren’t reading this, right before that is my favorite moment in these three pages. So Barbara says, “David’s mom? Is that you? What are you doing so far from Ridgewood?” That is such a great moment where it’s like you don’t actually know her name, but you know that she must be David’s mom.

**Craig:** David’s mom? I love that. It’s so great. And it’s so true, by the way. It’s so true.

**John:** She has no identity of her own.

**Craig:** She has no identity of her own.

**John:** 100%.

**Craig:** It’s so great. And then when she goes back to her apartment she sees – there’s already a ton of these pills. And there’s way too many. Now, it’s a tricky thing here because what Carolyn and Hilary are doing at the very end is essentially identifying what those pills are for us. And that’s a little bit of a cheat, because a lot of people aren’t going to necessarily know that in the 1960s the cutting edge of dieting was giving women speed, laxatives, and diuretics. So, some kind of indication of what they are per label could be helpful.

**John:** But the basic visual works even if you don’t know what they specifically are. She has a medicine cabinet full of these things and she’s just trying the next one.

**Craig:** It’s wonderful. I mean, it feels like the kind of thing that should be made. And I would continue reading this in a heartbeat. I mean, I just think this is terrific. I loved it.

**John:** Yeah. So, we didn’t say at the outset, this is written as a pilot, because it says end of teaser. It feels like a limited series that gets you started in things. It just is great.

**Craig:** I want to read it.

**John:** Send the whole thing through.

**Craig:** Yeah, I want to read it.

**John:** A couple things on the first page, because I think it’s really good and it’s only because I think it could be even better that I’m going to offer some suggestions and sort of move some stuff around.

Jean starts by her monologuing here. “I’m telling you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t try. Last year I spent two months on a carrot cleanse. I lost fifteen pounds, but my skin turned orange.” As written, we’re interrupting with a nurse motions for Jean to step on a scale. She looks more like a model in a short uniform. Jean says, “Have you seen that before?” Breaking up that dialogue actually hurt the joke a little bit.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So I would propose keep all of Jean together along with Jean turns to the doctor, gruff man. So keep that all together and then put the nurse a little bit later on. So the nurse is not breaking up that really great joke and still establishes the doctor being the primary person she’s trying to talk to. Because right now it looks like she might be trying to talk to the nurse.

**Craig:** Right. Your other option in that is to pull it up a bit. So you have Jean saying, “I’m telling you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t try. Last year I spent two months on a carrot cleanse.” The nurse tells her to get on the scale. She does. While on the scale, “I lost fifteen pounds, but my skin turned orange. Have you ever seen that before?”

**John:** Absolutely. You could break it that way. Or you could put the nurse above the two things. But basically we’re just saying keep that dialogue together so it really is clear that have you seen that before goes towards the doctor, not towards the nurse.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** I think there’s a good case to be made for getting rid of the model nurse’s line. “There’s no such thing, right Doctor?” By giving her lines you’re making her seem more important in the scene and she’s really not important in the scene. She should just basically be a prop.

**Craig:** I would fight for it.

**John:** OK. So I think you can do that with an eye roll.

**Craig:** Here’s why I would fight for it. Because what it tells me, she’s still a prop. In fact, she weirdly becomes more of a prop because of that line. What I like is that the model nurse is clearly a subject of the doctor. It’s like a child going, “Uh-uh, there isn’t glandular. I got told, right Doctor?” And he’s like, uh-huh. He doesn’t care about her or Jean. So it’s like women competing for the attention of this overweight man who is going to decide their worth. I kind of dug it.

**John:** So I would say as you’re shooting this try a version where she says the line and try a version where she says the lines just with her eyes and a reaction.

**Craig:** Always a good idea.

**John:** Last thing I would say is we’re using script here rather than prescription. I think just for clarity at this moment because it’s just action lines I would spell out prescription just because it potentially is confusing that people are holding scripts, like what scripts? Just take away any possible little hiccups where a person could be confused. Like are they holding a screenplay or are they holding a prescription until you’ve established that script is what we’re using for prescription.

**Craig:** 100%.

**John:** Great. Just delightful. So this is a case where please send through the whole thing if it’s all written.

**Craig:** Yeah. I want to read it. I want to.

**John:** Let’s do our third and final one. Do you want to take this one, Craig?

**Craig:** Sure. We’ve got something from Christine Hoang called Fly Girl. Linh, a 42-year-old Vietnamese-American woman lies in bed. She picks up her phone from its charger. It’s 3:21am. She scrolls through Facebook through the posts on her page. We learn that it is Linh’s birthday. She smiles at a long post from a Ruben Ramirez who calls her a queen. Linh’s eyes widen as she sees a happy birthday post from Harold Williams. Linh goes to Harold’s profile. As she swipes through Harold’s photos we see that Linh used to be in his life as his wife.

She is relieved to see his profile says he’s single. Linh sets her alarm and we cut to the next morning as Linh gets her eight-year-old daughter, Nini, ready for school. On the drive to school Linh and Nini brainstorm tardy excuses. Linh reminds Nini that her dad is picking her up after school. Nini leaves and wishes her mom a happy birthday. And that’s Christine Hoang’s Fly Girl.

**John:** So, what I really liked about these three pages is I had not seen this character before. And I had not felt like I’d seen this story quite before. Sort of her situation. And that by setting it up as her birthday I believe that we are going to be told a story that is a one-time thing so that today is not like other days, which is what movies are is days that are different than other days. So that got me excited.

I think there’s stuff on the page which is a little bit messy and it isn’t sort of providing the best shape and focus. But I like the kinds of things she was trying to illustrate which is that sort of deciding whether or not to like a post and the way you sort of find your identity through people’s reactions to you was cool and interesting. That her life felt kind of messy in ways that made me excited to see more about what she was doing.

**Craig:** Yeah. I wonder if this character of Linh, because in the script Linh Hoang Williams, 42, Vietnamese-American woman, and our author is Christine Hoang. So I’m wondering, OK, is this Christine and is this autobiographical? It’s hard to tell just because she’s used the same name. But what I do like is that we don’t typically see this character, a 42-year-old woman, I love size 12, sometimes size 14 depending on that week’s carb intake. I like that she’s got this insomnia. It feels true. And we get introduced in the second paragraph a screensaver photo of a cute biracial Asian-white girl. Now just keep that in mind. So we’re good at picking up things. That’s probably her kid is what we’re thinking.

I really like that she was checking Facebook for birthday greetings. Birthdays have become a full-time job of just dealing with Facebook greetings, and I’ve left Facebook so I’m free of that world.

I was a bit confused. Who is doing this at 3:21 in the morning unless she’s looking at yesterday’s thing, but it’s her birthday today. We know that because we’re going to hear that later. No one is doing that at that hour. It’s usually – you know what I mean? So I didn’t quite understand – it felt like she was trying to get two things in at once. I mean, you could just as easily have her wake up, have her doing this, and have that be the reason that she’s late bringing her kid to school. Because I would believe that.

There’s a post from her friend. I’m a little nervous that we’ve got gay-based best friend trope going on here. It’s hard to tell. But, you know, it’s not that you’re not allowed to have the gay best friend. It’s just one more check in the “we’ve seen it” column.

Harold Williams is a terrible name for a character. I’m sorry. Especially when you’ve got something so wonderful and specific like Linh Hoang Williams, and the Linh is L-I-N-H which is a Vietnamese spelling. I just feel like Harold Williams seems like White Whiteman or something. It just feels a bit too, I don’t know, uninteresting. If you’re going to do it, then make fun of it at least. Because there are people named Harold Williams. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a ton of them.

I don’t think we get two swipey scenes in one scene. I struggle with swipey scenes. I think you get one and then you move on.

**John:** Yeah, at the top of page two I wanted to get rid of all the profile photos of Harold, because it’s just like we’ve been staring at phones too long.

**Craig:** And it’s really just become Exposition Book, not Facebook. We know now what’s happening. You’re forcing us to learn stuff because she’s looking at things. And I’m sorry, I just don’t – I mean, yes, of course people moon at exes on Facebook and they kind of Facebook stalk them, but not like this, where you just magically get the seven pictures you need to see your entire relationship. You know, picture from one year ago, from five years ago. There’s Harold and Linh embracing a biracial Asian-white little – it’s literally the same exact language. We know. We get it. You might as well just tell us it’s her daughter in the first thing because then we don’t have to keep saying it over and over and over. Because it’s a little bit weird. Like is that kid theirs? Why is she not telling us it’s theirs, because it seems like it’s theirs. And so it just goes through all the way, you know, kind of here’s the story of my life. I kind of don’t understand why she had to do that in the middle of night and then go back to bed again and then wake up again.

And then there’s this scene with her daughter who I presume is that girl, because she calls her her biracial eight-year-old daughter. So, I’m assuming it’s the same girl.

**John:** That’s a case where usually you would say like the girl, like in parenthesis, like the girl on the phone on screensaver.

**Craig:** Right. The girl from the picture. The drive along is fine. So we’ve seen a parent drive a child to school four billion times. The park in front of the school, what’s my tardy excuse today, that’s not something you ask when you’re getting dropped off. That’s the first thing you ask when you get in the car and you realize you’re going to be late.

And I think just the rest of this exchange offers me no insight into their relationship. None.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And it’s not a lot of space to have insight, so it doesn’t need to be a great insight. I just need one thing to know. That there’s a thing. Just one.

**John:** So, let’s imagine that we lost the driving scene at the top of page three. We’ve lost really nothing. Nothing super important. I do like them sort of swaying their heads to 1986 Control. But it’s not crucial. And if we just went from driveway sort of baby penguin/Nini getting into the car to elementary school, and lose Nini’s first line.

Linh says, “Tell your teacher traffic was a nightmare.”

**Craig:** Yeah, way better.

**John:** If Nini were to answer, “That’s what we said yesterday.” That is a better way to get that information out that this is a recurring thing than to have the little girl lead that exchange.

**Craig:** Such a good idea. Much better.

**John:** I agree with you on so much of where we can sort of do better. And it got me thinking back to Barack Obama Burnham’s movie Eighth Grade which I loved so much. And we’ll find a link to the PDF of that so you can take a look at sort of how he did the stuff on the phone on the page. Because it was a really good use of we know we’re going to be staring at screens a lot and how you convey that information and make it clearer, not just what you’re trying to tell the audience but how our central character is reacting to that information.

Another thing which I think you should be looking for is how you’re setting up your physical environments. Because you’re not giving us anything about her bedroom a lot. You’re not giving us anything about her car, her house. We just don’t get a good sense of where she’s at. I don’t even know if this is east coast, west coast. So, I want that vibe. Just anchor us into a place is really important.

**Craig:** So true. Outside of elementary school. Who goes there? Is it mostly white kids? Is it a mix of white kids and Asian kids? Is it black, Latino? Is it public? Is it private? Rich neighborhood/poor neighborhood? Is this a line of Mercedes and Linh is driving a Toyota? What’s going on? We just need stuff. Like all these little tiny bits are teaching us things. And someone is going to have to decide those things.

See, the most important thing I think for you to realize when you’re working on this stuff is, no, you don’t have to decide everything, but everything you don’t decide somebody else will for you. So, think about that. And then say, OK, I wouldn’t mind if I knew that this was a middle class suburb, you know, racially mixed kids. I don’t mind how they racially mix the kids on the day when the first AD goes and makes selections from extras casting. I just mind that they’re not all white. So I’ve done my job. I made my decision. So you have to make a bunch of decisions to help production or they will fill it in for you and trust me when I tell you they will get it wrong. They will not read your mind ever.

**John:** Nope. And so it’s not just production but it’s also the production happening in a reader’s mind in terms of like how they’re sort of filling in the backgrounds of things. And so do a little of that work so that you’re creating the right image in people’s heads.

I want to thank all of our entries to the Three Page Challenge and especially the three people who we talked about today.

**Craig:** Four.

**John:** You’re all very, very brave. Four actually. You’re right. Because we had a team there. You’re all very, very brave for sending stuff in. And so thank you for letting us discuss these things on the air.

If you want to send in your own Three Page Challenge you can go to johnaugust.com/threepage. All spelled out.

We have two quick questions. Let’s try to get through these today.

**Craig:** Let’s do it.

**John:** Kate from London asks, “My question is about working with actors. How much freedom do you feel should be given to them when they want to change their character’s dialogue? I recently started working on a quiet and established TV show here in the UK and one of the supporting actresses would send through her amendments to every one of her scenes, changing her character’s lines to what she thought was better dialogue.

“Do you feel writers should be very open to an actor doing this?” Craig?

**Craig:** It depends. If you are – so, Kate says she recently started working on an established TV show. OK, now, in certain cases when you have an established TV show, you’re in your fifth season of a series, or as they say your fifth series in UK, and one of your actors, well, she’s been doing it for five seasons. She’s done 25 episodes. You’ve written one. In that circumstance there may be – the actor may have very valuable insight. She may know what has worked in the past and how the rhythms worked before. And because you’re new that may be worth a discussion and may be worth opening to.

However, for me, my relationship with my cast, for instance on Chernobyl, was of course. If you have a suggestion or a thought please come tell me. The final determination is mine. And that’s it.

In movies it seems that actors can sometimes hold productions hostage to these things because of a movie star kind of system, but in television, you know, look, my experience is one show but I was working with a very large cast and a lot of really excellent, well-established actors with long careers who could have been, I suppose, very obstreperous and demanding about these things. But they weren’t. And everything – for instance Jared and I spent a lot of time going through the script and any suggestion he had was put forward as a proposal with an explanation so it could be evaluated. And you know eight times out of ten I was like, you know what, that’s better. I’m changing that. That’s great.

Yes, we should always be open. We should reserve the right to be the final arbiter of what the dialogue of the show is. With the one caveat that sometimes you have to be aware that somebody else, an actor, may actually know this character than you do if you’re new and they’re not.

**John:** Yeah. So standard advice I always give is that if an actor can’t find a way through a line, there’s a problem with the line and you’re going to have to change it. Because if the actor can’t find a way to deliver it it is not going to be a line that is going to serve the story well. So you’re going to need to work with that actor to find what that situation is.

I agree with Craig that if this is an established show and the showrunner is not stepping in there to stop this from happening then that’s just the way that this show works and sorry. But I want to point out that very rarely does one character’s dialogue not impact every other character in that scene.

**Craig:** Yep.

**John:** And so it’s going to be very hard to let that actor rewrite all of her stuff without all the other actors feeling like well how am I supposed to respond to that. Basically are they rewriting everybody’s dialogue? That can be the problem and the challenge. And where as we’ve talked to other showrunners they try to nip that in the bud so that the seventh person on the call sheet doesn’t feel like they get to rewrite all their dialogue, too.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So that’s a thing you’re going to be mindful of throughout all of this.

**Craig:** That’s a great point. When I did my tiny little acting job and I had to memorize lines that was the first time I realized that a huge part of memorizing your lines is memorizing your scene partner’s lines. Because those lines are the trigger for you to do yours. That’s when you know you’re supposed to be jumping on top of them or reacting and then saying something. So if their stuff is all of a sudden different your preparation is kind of down the tubes.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So, no, it’s a real thing. And in movies when you sometimes hear of these horror shows, this is partly what’s going on. So hopefully we’ve answered your question, Kate.

Alex from the Wilton Exit off the 101. I know it well. Writes, “I’m working on a pilot with a person I thought was my producer, but who is now turning into a cowriter.”

**John:** Oh my.

**Craig:** Ugh, here we go. “I developed and scripted his idea, and now as I rewrite and work on his notes he’s also sending me new drafts he’s worked on. I see now that he won’t OK anything I do and will slowly take my script and chop it up, rewrite the dialogue, and even change whole scenes and characters. I feel that his work is a significant and noticeable drop off in quality from mine. His changes are not only for the worse, but also confusing and contradictory. What should I do when we pitch this thing?

“He has a showrunner friend he’s talking to. How do I explain which parts are mine, what the script used to look like? I want to meet his promised connections to start making my own and hopefully jumpstart real work, but I don’t want my name attached to something I don’t like at all and doesn’t reflect my ability. What’s the point in meeting a connection if I know they’re going to read this and think, wow, this guy sucks? As someone working to break in I feel like I’m in a bind here.”

Woo-hoo.

**John:** Oh, Alex, step close. I’m going to wrap my arms around you and just give you a great big hug.

**Craig:** Yeah. Group hug, Alex.

**John:** Yeah. Sorry. And, so let’s talk what you can do now, but also hopefully try to give some advice for other people so they don’t find themselves in this situation.

This producer is not being good or fair or honest about sort of what their intentions are, sort of how they see this all working. And it was probably gradual and it got to the place where it’s at. They are now your cowriter. That’s terrible. And you’re going to have to have a sit down with them I would say in a neutral place. Say like, listen, I’m not happy with the script. I’m not happy with how this has gone down. I don’t like this. I would rather write my own script, but I don’t think this here is working. So let’s figure out a way for this to work or maybe just move on and move past. Because this doesn’t seem to be the right thing.

It’s not clear in your letter whether any money has been exchanged. I’m guessing it hasn’t, which is good. So there’s no sense of a binding sort of commitment here to anything. But this did not work out. And, Alex, I’m really sorry.

**Craig:** So am I. And I can’t blame you in any way, shape, or form. When we are starting out and we are really striving any lifeline is worth grabbing a hold of. It’s just that a lot of bad actors out there – not bad performers, but people working in bad faith – are going to throw us fake lifelines when really what they’re doing is just exploiting us. And I would say just as a blanket bit of advice: don’t develop non-writer’s ideas.

It’s just down that road is madness because really what’s happening is someone is saying I have an idea. I have imagined a movie. But I’ve imagined it without any of the confinements that come with the responsibility of creating it. So now you’re going to do that. You’re going to paint my fence for me and I’m just going to complain about it the whole time because it doesn’t match my wild unachievable imagination of what this thing is. And they will eventually haul you out and destroy you. So, this is a terrible situation.

In terms of what to do next, remember if you make sure that your name is on this and that you’re a cowriter, you actually have one bit of enormous leverage. It can’t be sold without you. You can’t sell something if you don’t want to sell it. You have to sign a paper that says I’m transferring copyright. I’m selling this literary material. Etc. Etc.

What you desperately need is your own individual counsel that is not connected in any way to this producer of yours. A manager, lawyer, agent, what have you. Because that person is going to need to represent you carefully in this.

When you ask what should I do when we pitch this thing, I don’t know if you should be pitching this thing. Because the questions you’re asking are not in any way achievable. Not remotely. How do I explain which parts are mine, what the script used to look like? There is no way to do that.

**John:** You can’t.

**Craig:** It’s just not possible. I know you don’t want your name attached to something you don’t like and all. Hopefully if this producer is as small potatoes and irrelevant as I suspect he is you’re not going to be meeting anybody that’s going to ruin you for the rest of your life. There’s no one brief moment where the window opened and if only you had subjected yourself to a little bit more humiliation you’d be famous ten years later. No. That’s not how it works.

So, I would say make sure that you stake your legal ownership claim to half this script. That you then behave the way you want in terms of who it gets sold to, if at all. But that you let go of any thoughts or imaginations that you’re going to be able to prove to people that in fact this thing that you’re asking them to buy is bad but there’s something else that’s good and that they can really buy that. That’s just not going to happen.

**John:** If there’s some comfort I can offer Alex is that any successful screenwriter you’ve met probably has some stories that are kind of like this about early on in their process in their career. Where things that didn’t work out, relationships that turned really weird, stuff that they’re sort of embarrassed has their name on it. And at a certain point you stop caring about it because it just doesn’t matter anymore. So take this as the lesson that it is. Write your own things and just try to be mindful not getting into these situations again.

**Craig:** Yeah. You’re not a sucker. You’re just basically average. It’s a very average, sadly, it’s an average occurrence in this town.

**John:** All right. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is the word verse when used as a verb. So, Craig, this is a thing I’m sure you’ve heard. We’re versing the team from centennial this week. So it’s a thing you mostly hear little kids do, but increasingly teenagers and other folks using as well.

**Craig:** Oh yes. Now I understand.

**John:** Yeah. So it comes from versus. And so if we say it’s John versus Craig, kids will hear that as the third person singular of a verb, so they think there must be a verb called verse and that means to challenge somebody or to compete against somebody. And it’s an example of sort of a back formation where you’re trying to take a grammar rule and apply it to something that’s not quite right. And it creates a new word.

And so I assumed it was a new thing probably coming out of videogame culture, because I heard my daughter using it when she was little. I found a post this last week from Mark Liberman in Language Log that talks about this dating back to 2004 and earlier. So it’s a thing that’s been out there for a long time.

Some dictionaries are starting to include verse as a verb. I’m mentioning it on this podcast here so that you will now listen for it and we’ll see where we’re at ten years from now. How much verse has propagated?

**Craig:** Yeah. I had not thought about that for so long until this moment when you mentioned it. But when my son played baseball in little league kids would say we’re versing the Pirates. And it would put my teeth on edge, of course. And then I would beat them. I would physically beat them with bats.

They didn’t get better at playing baseball, but they stopped – no.

**John:** They stopped saying verse as a verb.

**Craig:** They continue to say versing. The one that is – and I wonder if some of these are regionalisms or just generationalisms. But my children’s generation when you say I’ve done something on purpose, or I’ve done something by accident, they say on accident. So they keep the preposition the same even though the word changes. So, it was on accident they’ll say. And I’m hearing adults say it now.

**John:** I think I’ve probably said it. It’s one of those things that I think is probably sliding into mutual usage. And it’s not quite the same situation as like demagoguing as a verb, where we know it’s a noun and we’re making it into a verb. That happens all the time and English is really good at that. It’s a different thing where you’re just applying a grammatical rule in a way that’s not sort of intended but just creates a new usage.

**Craig:** Yeah. It’s fascinating. I remember the first time I heard it I just went, “Huh?” Nobody else seemed to have a problem with it. It’s a little bit like the first time I heard someone said heigth instead of height.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** Which is now, I mean, honestly I would say 70% of people I hear who say the word height will say heigth.

**John:** Yeah. It’s because of–

**Craig:** Width.

**John:** Length, width, and height.

**Craig:** So they’re just carrying a rule through incorrectly. And if I had my way they would all be executed at dawn.

**John:** So and some of that is probably coming from non-native English speakers who are learning the words later on–

**Craig:** Not as far as I can tell.

**John:** But here’s the thing. Non-native speakers who would apply that and then online they’re using those things and because our kids are seeing that used online I think that’s how it helps propagate.

**Craig:** I’ve got to be honest with you. The first time I heard it it was from older white guys who were working like in construction gigs.

**John:** OK.

**Craig:** Yeah. They’re just like, “Well, you know, you need like this much heigth to get this thing through.” And I’m like what did you say? I mean, I didn’t say that because then I’m literally the parody of some fussy Jew.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Excuse me, sir, what did you say? Did you say heigth? I don’t know why I’m also British. Or snobby old weird Jewish/British. That’s me.

**John:** Good stuff.

**Craig:** It’s the new Craig.

**John:** It’s a new character?

**Craig:** It’s height, sir. Height.

**John:** Craig, what’s your One Cool Thing?

**Craig:** My One Cool Thing is this nifty little product that I’ve been looking for something in this category forever that would work and stay working and I think I might have found it. So, like everybody else in the world I have a problem with my smudgy screens on my phone and my iPad. And they have all sorts of like this thing rolls it and it wipes it and blah-blah-blah.

Well, I’m not a big fan of the tear a thing open, pull a thing out, wipe the thing, take another thing out, wipe that stuff off. Then they have some that are like rollers but they’re kind of like they need to stay moist sort of and then they dry out and then they’re no good.

So, I was just reading an article about, you know, little life hacky stuff. And they sent me to a product called iRoller. Ugh, revolutionary name.

**John:** That’s an eye roll.

**Craig:** Yeah, exactly. It is an eye roll of a name. iRoller screen cleaner reusable liquid free touchscreen cleaner for smartphones and tablets. And lo and behold and it works. It works really, really well. It’s not like a lint brush thing where there’s like an adhesive. It looks like it’s more of one of those static films that actually just does a really good job of picking stuff up. And then when it stops working you can wash it and it just sort of goes back to the way it used to be.

And it’s very portable. It’s very tiny. And it’s not, I think it’s $20 or something like that which is, I don’t know, a profit margin of $19.98. But it actually does the job. So if you’re looking for one of those things and you’re grumpy because none of them have worked, check out the iRoller.

**John:** So, and it works better than my solution which is just rubbing it on my shirt?

**Craig:** It does. The rubbing it on – listen, I’ve rubbed many a phone on my shirt. It tends to take spots, which are really just accumulation of grease and dust, and just disseminate it over the entire screen.

**John:** Equalize it.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s like a light fog over everything, as opposed to clean which is different. Oh, and it works on laptop screens, too, which is another plus.

**John:** Because it’s really embarrassing when I have to pick up my laptop screen and rub it on my shirt. It’s awkward.

**Craig:** I’ve done it. [laughs] I’ve done it. I’ve got real problems.

**John:** That is our show for this week. Our show is produced by Megana Rao. It was edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Mackey Landy.

If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts which go up about four days after the episode airs.

If you want to read the recap of this on Reddit, go for it. We’re R/Screenwriting.

You can find the back episodes of this show at Scriptnotes.net. Or download 50-episode seasons at store.johnaugust.com.

That is our show for this week. Craig, thank you for helping me achieve some self-awareness.

**Craig:** I love that and we’ll do it again next week.

**John:** Thanks. Bye.

Links:

* John and Craig’s panel on Addiction & Mental Health organized by Hollywood, Health & Society Wed, July 31, 2019, 6:30 PM – 9:30 PM PDT at SAG. Limited tickets, email: hhs@usc.edu
* [Research Methods for Writers with Chernobyl’s Craig Mazin](https://www.wgfoundation.org/events/all/2019/7/17/research-methods-for-writers-chernobyl) Wednesday, July 17, 2019 @ 7:00 PM
* Trumpcast [Is Trump a Disease? A Medical Perspective](https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/07/is-trump-a-disease-a-medical-perspective.html)
* Edith Rodriguez, [The Days Ahead](https://johnaugust.com/Assets/3PageEdith.pdf)
* Carolyn Getches & Hilary C. Gish [Formerly Fat Housewife](https://johnaugust.com/Assets/3PageCarolynHilary.pdf)
* Christine Hoang [Fly Girl](https://johnaugust.com/Assets/3PageChristine.pdf)
* Bo Burnham’s [Eighth Grade Script](http://a24awards.com/film/eighthgrade/Eighth_Grade_Script.pdf)
* [‘Versing’ Verse as a Verb](https://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=4029)
* [Screen Cleaner](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BX1AOVA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Mackey Landy ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_409_self_awareness.mp3).

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