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Scriptnotes, Episode 562: Finish Line Blues, Transcript

August 23, 2022 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2022/finish-line-blues).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** Okay, okay, my name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 562 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show, good lord, it’s a hodgepodge.

**Craig:** Hodgepodge.

**John:** We’ll be discussing animation, short films, post scriptum depression, parallel stories, persistence, and the Monty Hall problem.

**Craig:** Oh good, we’re back to that.

**John:** Some of those are listener questions. Some are just things we’re encountering in the world. Some are follow-up on a Bonus Segment, which is kind of cheating, but that’s okay, because this is our show.

**Craig:** Yeah, it’s our show. We can do whatever we want, and also aforementioned hodgepodge.

**John:** It’s a hodgepodge. Craig, what will we do in our Bonus Segment?

**Craig:** In our Bonus Segment for Premium Members, we’re going to discuss the terrific board game Codenames. I don’t know if I would call it a board game. I would call it a party game.

**John:** It’s a party game, but party game makes it feel like it’s just like charades or something.

**Craig:** We’ll discuss the terrific game.

**John:** Game, yeah.

**Craig:** Word game.

**John:** Not a video game.

**Craig:** It’s a word game. We’ll discuss the terrific-

**John:** Word game.

**Craig:** … social group word game. This is so hard to do. Codenames. It’s Codenames. That’s what we’re talking about, including our favorite tips and house rules. If you’re not playing Codenames, you’ll want to after we’re done with you in our Bonus Segment.

**John:** It’s basically a sales pitch for the game Codenames.

**Craig:** For Codenames.

**John:** It’s an inexpensive game that you will love. It’s a big show. We got to get started on here.

**Craig:** Hodgepodge.

**John:** A bit of news. Last week a group of 400 animation writers and showrunners, myself included, signed a pledge stating that, quote, “We are committed to fighting for WGA coverage on all animation projects we create, write, and produce going forward. We want to be treated equal to live-action writers, not less than.” We’ve talked about this on a show before.

As a refresher, if you’re writing an animated project, you are not guaranteed WGA coverage unless you specifically negotiate for it at the outset. Unlike in live-action, WGA coverage is not automatic, and it can be very hard to get, but it is doable. I was able to get it for an animated project recently, as have several of the other showrunners who’ve signed the pledge. The hope is, with these writers and showrunners saying that they plan to fight for it on their projects, we’ll see more animated projects where the writers work under WGA deals with higher minimums, residuals, paid parental leave. It’s not going to happen overnight. The only way it happens will be writer by writer, project by project. We’ll put a link in the show notes with more details. Now, Craig, a bit of housekeeping-

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** … and some follow-up. You will be glad to know that Seasons 9 and 10 of Scriptnotes are now up in the Premium Feed, because I know that’s a thing you’ve been asking for.

**Craig:** So many seasons.

**John:** So many seasons.

**Craig:** So many. Wait, were those not in the Premium Feed?

**John:** They were in the Premium Feed. Here’s the challenge is that we now have so many Premium episodes that the feed gets to be too big, so we have to lop off them in 50-episode chunks, or else your podcast player will just crash as it tries to load them.

**Craig:** We’re now crashing software we’ve done this so long.

**John:** That’s really where we’re at is just overwhelming things. If you are a Scriptnotes Premium Member and you are listening to back seasons, and you’re getting into the 450, the 500 range, you’ll now find those in Seasons 9 and 10, which are now going to be available through the scriptnotes.net.

**Craig:** Amazing.

**John:** Love it. One other thing, Highland, which is the software that I make, we have a student edition. Now that we’re going back to school, I just want to remind our listeners that if you would like a screenwriting app to be writing your screenplays in, you can get one for free, the full version for free. If you’re a student, you go to Quote-Unquote Apps, and you will see that you can get the license as a college student or a high school student for Highlands, which is the app that I write all my stuff in.

**Craig:** This is your way of getting them addicted to Highland for free, and then later when it’s Highland 3 and they’re out of school, now you’ve got them.

**John:** We’ve got them.

**Craig:** You’ve got them.

**John:** For these next two years, if you want a really good application to be writing a script in that is not going to cost you $99 a year, there you go.

**Craig:** Fantastic.

**John:** Some follow-up. Megana, can you help us out with Andrew?

**Megana Rao:** Andrew wrote in and said, “Listening to last week’s How Would This Be A Movie segment, I was curious if any of you had come across the newsletter at The Ankler called The Optionist.”

**Craig:** That’s a no.

**Megana:** It offers maybe six to eight articles or books each Friday that are available to be optioned and who to contact if you’re interested. It was fun until it went behind a subscriber paywall. This is the part that seems insane to me.”

**Craig:** That’s awesome.

**Megana:** “Subscriptions to The Optionist are $250 a month-”

**Craig:** Oh, god.

**Megana:** “… or $2,500 a year. That’s two months free if you buy the year up front. I would love to hear your thoughts on this price point. It’s bananas to me. How much does this make How Would Be a Movie worth if it was paywalled?”

**John:** That’s really going to be our future business plan is forget scriptnotes.net, it’s all How Would This Be a Movie.

**Craig:** Paywall everything.

**John:** I was not familiar with The Optionist either, but I will say that there are people who do this for a living. I was talking with Todd Hoffman, who runs a service called StoryScout. What they do is they have people who literally, they’re reading all the newspapers. They have deals with all the newspapers to get all the stuff. They’re sifting through it every week, and they’re like, “These are interesting stories.” There are people who pay them subscriptions for that. Hey, if the business model works for them, great. I think what they’re doing though is not just, “Here’s a story,” but they are actually contacting the people who are involved in the story, whoever you need to get for life rights. They can help you put together a bundle of things that might be useful for a studio. That’s not a thing that you or I or any other writer is going to be approaching. It’s something that Sony is paying however much a month. It’s not something that you and I are doing.

**Craig:** Andrew, that’s exactly what’s happened. They launched this to let people know, “Here we are, and this is how it works,” but the paywall at $250 a month is essentially an indication to you that this is not for you.

**John:** Exactly.

**Craig:** This is a business-to-business service. $250 a month for production companies or studios is nothing. This reminds me a little bit of the way Variety used to work. Megana, do you know how expensive Variety used to be when you were a baby?

**Megana:** I do not.

**Craig:** It was like a thousand dollars a year for Variety or something like that.

**John:** For the physical print edition. It was crazy.

**Craig:** It was insane. It was some insane number, because every day there would be Daily Variety. Daily Variety was like eight pages. It was not a large magazine.

**Megana:** This was all physical?

**Craig:** Physical. There was no internet version back then, because there was no internet back then. There was, but not the way it is now. The only Variety and Hollywood Reporter that existed were print. It would be delivered daily to each office. There would be the same copy of Variety on the same coffee table, scattered about a thousand offices in Hollywood, lawyers and executives and producers. It was ridiculously expensive, because you had to get it, or else you didn’t know what was going on. If anything got shooketh by the internet, it was entertainment industry reporting.

**John:** Completely. When I was in the Stark Program at USC, one of the perks we got is all 25 of us in the Stark Program got our own copies of Variety and I think Hollywood Reporter too in our mailboxes every day.

**Craig:** Amazing.

**John:** That was a godsend, because really it was the only way to get a sense of who was where and what was happening, what deals were happening. It was really important. I think we have to credit, honestly, Nikki Finke and Deadline for really breaking the back of-

**Craig:** Credit.

**John:** Acknowledge Nikki Finke.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**John:** Of that form of journalism and the business model of that journalism, because she was doing the same kinds of scoop reporting that was happening in Variety and Hollywood Reporter, but it was just free on the internet, and that changed everything.

**Craig:** It certainly undercut them to the point where everything just came down to what it is now, and it’s less expensive to publish something on the internet than it is to publish it in actual print. It ain’t the way it used to be. That’s for sure. I remember going to newsstands. This is a typical poor kid in Hollywood move. Go to the newsstand, pretend to be browsing, randomly pick up the Daily Variety and, oh, just flip through.

**John:** Oh, flip through it.

**Craig:** The guys that ran those things all knew. They were like, “Nope. Put it back.” They were literally like, “You’re buying it. You’re not reading it. You’re buying it. That’s it. Or put it back.” They were so tired of douchey, pathetic wannabe screenwriters reading their Variety for free, such as myself.

**John:** Craig, do you read any physical magazines at this point?

**Craig:** No.

**John:** I will read, I think I’ve mentioned before, Technology Review and sometimes Wired. If I’m at the airport, I’ll go through the bookstand there. I’m always fascinated by Harvard Business Review, because that thing is $25 a copy. It’s just crazy to me.

**Craig:** Who is that for?

**John:** It’s for people who want to read about Harvard business stuff, I guess. It’s very much in-depth case study things.

**Craig:** Weird.

**John:** I feel like probably if you’re an MBA, it’s the kind of thing you read.

**Craig:** Maybe on a plane.

**John:** On a plane.

**Craig:** I feel like if you are interested in reading the Harvard Business Review on a flight, you have other stuff you should be doing on that flight. You got business to do, hopefully.

**John:** Do your business. You’re a business [crosstalk 00:09:10]

**Craig:** Do your business.

**John:** Do your business.

**Craig:** You do your business. Don’t read about the Harvard business.

**John:** Megana, can you help us out with more questions or follow-up?

**Craig:** Harvard Business is Megana’s real nickname.

**Megana:** The Harvard Business Review is good though. Just a little plug.

**Craig:** A little plug.

**John:** Megana went to Harvard.

**Craig:** She sure did.

**Megana:** IP Curious in Seattle asks, “In Episode 559 during the How Would This Be a Movie segment, when discussing the Indian cricket scam, John and Craig said that you wouldn’t have to buy anything because you’d be making up most of the movie. My question is, when dealing with a true story with actual people, how much freedom do you have to invent a plot? Do you need to change the name of the main character if you’re basing a plot on something in their life but not following exactly what happened?”

**John:** I would say yeah.

**Craig:** Yeah, usually. We’ve sort of answered this before. There is no hard answer for this, IP Curious in Seattle.

**John:** There isn’t.

**Craig:** What happens is there’s this weird needle that moves back and forth, and you let the attorneys at the company determine it for you. Some companies are tougher about this than others. Generally speaking, if you’re dealing with a true story, if you’re taking inspiration from a true story, you are going to have to change events and names. Certainly names. If you are using actual people’s names, you can, but there are way more restrictions on you. You have to be really careful about not defaming them. If you’re going to start inventing stuff and be free, why not just change the name anyway if it doesn’t have any value? With the true story itself, that’s a negotiation with the lawyers to see is this going to be too identifying, are they going to sue us for defamation if you do this or that. Generally speaking, if you’re inspired by a true story, change the names. You’re going to want to change the plot anyway, and you’ll be fine. That’s generally the case.

**John:** I would recommend IP Curious go back and listen to the episode with Liz Hannah and Liz Meriwether talking about the two series that they were doing which were based on actual events. Both of them had situations where these real life people are going to be characters in this and we’re going to use their names, and we have to be careful about this. There are other places where we’re inventing characters to do this function, and those are brand new people. That decision about when you’re doing that and how closely they resemble people in the real world are going to be factors that are going to be discussed with lawyers and other folks down the road. Craig did the same thing in Chernobyl. Some of those people are based on historical figures, but some of them are creations for the series. You’re always going to be making those choices about how you’re doing stuff.

**Craig:** Indeed.

**John:** How about another question, Megana?

**Megana:** Janelle from San Diego wrote in and said, “I have never written in but had to start writing this email before I finished listening to Episode 560, because I could not believe my ears when I-”

**Craig:** Couldn’t believe. Couldn’t believe her ears.

**Megana:** “I could not believe my ears when I heard you tell Leah that there isn’t an audience for short films.”

**Craig:** There isn’t.

**Megana:** “As parents of two young children, my husband and I find it hard to find time to watch a feature film or follow a series, especially if the content is for adult eyes only.”

**Craig:** Oh, my.

**Megana:** “We delight in being able to watch some quality entertainment in the 20 minutes before-”

**Craig:** Megana put some spin on that.

**Megana:** “In the 20 minutes between putting the kids to bed and no longer being able to ignore the fact that neither of them is sleeping. Our friends feel the same, and it is great to be able to get together and discuss something other than the latest Pixar or Cocomelon.”

**Craig:** Great. You’ve found the audience, Janelle. It’s you and your husband and some of your friends. Is that an audience for short films?

**John:** I think audience is really the key word here. You and I were using audience in a different way than Janelle’s using the word audience.

**Craig:** Clearly.

**John:** You and I are using audience for market, like is there a way to make money off of these things.

**Craig:** There isn’t.

**John:** Generally, there isn’t. There are no short film tycoons.

**Craig:** No. Exactly. Janelle, we certainly weren’t suggesting that no one has ever seen a short film, because that seems to be the premise of your complaint here. Of course people have seen them. What we’re saying is there is no substantial audience of the kind to financially support a thriving, profitable short film industry. That’s just a fact. If you’re making a short film specifically because you want it to be seen by lots and lots of people, it won’t be. If you’re making a short film to practice, if you’re making a short film as a calling card, if you’re making a short film because you just have a passion to, all amazing reason. In fact, I would imagine most accomplished short film creators are very aware of the limited nature of the audience for short films, meaning extraordinarily limited, meaning basically you and your husband. Seriously, come on, Janelle, you know what we meant, right? Come on.

**John:** I want to state on the record that we are a pro short film podcast.

**Craig:** We love short films.

**John:** We’re also a pro reality podcast.

**Craig:** Bingo.

**John:** Which is that you are not going to be making money off of that short film that you’re making. Make it for art. Make it for fun. Make it for practice. Make it for all those reasons. If you choose to make a short film, Inneresting from this last week was actually all about short films. It was the post I did way back in 2008. I was blogging about this in 2008, about short films and some just general guidance when you’re thinking about short films, because I see people who try to make short films are just small features, and that doesn’t work. Short films are their own form. They have to have one clear idea, one problem that is solved for the course of that one film. I’ll point you to a post on this. We’ll put a link in the show notes.

**Craig:** Janelle didn’t even list any of the short films she’s seen that she likes.

**John:** Janelle, write back in and tell us what short films you loved recently.

**Craig:** Just so we can spread some positivity, since you and your husband are super into them. Since there isn’t an audience, let’s at least help them find one, a little mini audience, by promoting them.

**John:** We have quick follow-up to that follow-up. Do you want to try this question from Joel?

**Megana:** Yes. Joel from Moorpark, California wrote in and said, “I had a chance to enjoy your short film God and noted how the end plays Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves. I’m curious if and how you secured rights for the song.”

**Craig:** If.

**John:** If. Honestly, if is a more interesting question now than when I made the film. I absolutely did officially get the rights to Walking on Sunshine. It cost maybe $2,000, which was a lot, given the limited budget for the film, but it was worth it for that moment, because Melissa hums it at one point, and then we actually play it over the end credits. For both of those uses, I needed to have the rights to the song. I needed those rights to the song, because if I were going to put this in festivals, which it played a couple places, they would ask if those rights were cleared. That was a thing that I had to be able to show, that those rights are cleared. They’re cleared in perpetuity.

A thing that’s happened in the meantime though, and I think Joel’s aware of this, is that you see a lot of things on YouTube that do not have music rights cleared because they’re using songs that exist out in the world. They get away with that because YouTube has overall licensing agreements with different artists. Even though their algorithms are detecting that that song is in there, they are monetizing it in a way that the artist is making some money. There are ways it can be figured out.

I think you’ll see some stuff on YouTube that the rights would never clear for those songs. Anything you’re doing officially, that you’re going to submit for a competition, you’re going to need to declare those rights. It’s a hassle. It generally is a hassle. You are tracking down who the music publisher is. You are going to them, asking for these specific sync rights and the publishing rights to be able to use it in your thing. I went through a music supervisor who did the music clearances for Go. That was a luxury I had. Even the short films we did back at USC, we had to clear those rights. It was a hassle.

**Craig:** It’s a hassle. No way around it. There’s no if. You do need to do it.

**John:** You do it. You do it. I would say that you don’t need those rights until you are going to do the finished version of it. Obviously, as you’re temping songs into things, or if you’re just doing scratch versions, you don’t get those rights until you actually know, okay, we’re really using this song, and then we’re going to get the contracts and pay the money to do it. For things that are internal presentations, you’re not going to do it. For things that are going to go out in the world, you’re going to want to clear those rights.

**Craig:** Indeed.

**John:** Indeed.

**Craig:** Indeed.

**John:** Let’s do some follow-up on the Monty Hall problem.

**Craig:** Yay.

**John:** This is something we talked about in our Bonus Segment last week. We were talking about when do you intervene with stupid people.

**Craig:** That’s a title of an article in the Harvard Business Journal, I’m sure.

**John:** I will say the Monty Hall problem is not about stupid people. Very many smart, smart people have a hard time intuiting the logic behind it.

**Craig:** Almost everyone.

**John:** I want to do a little follow-up here, because it came upon us spontaneously, and we were talking through it. Craig was right in that ultimately the two thirds/one third solution is how it sorts out. Let’s make sure we’re all talking about the same thing. Craig, describe the Monty Hall problem for people who weren’t listening.

**Craig:** A classic problem. You have three doors. Behind one of the doors is a car that you can win. Behind the other two doors are goats, because in this Monty Hall problem, goats are bad. No one wants one, although goats do have some value. Monty Hall, the host of Let’s Make a Deal, says, “Go ahead and pick a door that you think the car’s behind.” You pick door number one. At that point, Monty opens door number three and reveals that behind door number three is a goat. Now he says to you, “Do you want to stick with door number one, or do you want to switch to door number two?” You have a choice. Most people will say at that point it’s a 50/50 choice, you’re choosing between 1 of 2 doors, but in fact, you should switch, because it is not a 50/50 choice. It’s a one third/two thirds choice. You have a two thirds chance of getting the car behind door number and only a one third chance behind door number one.

The very simple way we talked about this is the only way you’re winning the car if you say, if you keep the door you picked initially, is if you picked it correctly the first time, and there’s a one out of three chance. By eliminating that other possibility of door number three, you now have new information. The new information is that door number two is more likely than door number one, twice as likely, in fact, to have a car behind it.

**John:** One of the things we were wrestling with is that I can kind of get that and it still doesn’t feel right. There’s still some sort of problem. I looked at the Wikipedia article on it, which is actually. I recommend everyone take a look at it. This first became popularized by Marilyn vos Savant, who wrote a weekly column for Parade, was talking about it, and she said that we should definitely switch. Everyone was like, “You can’t possibly switch.” One of the things she pointed out, which I think is a really helpful way of getting over our brain problem of it, is imagine instead of three doors, there are a million doors. You picked one of a million doors. Then they take away all the other doors and say it’s either behind the door you picked or this other door. Then you have to think about, oh, I had a one in a million chance the first time, and now it’s like, oh.

**Craig:** It’s definitely behind the other door.

**John:** It’s going to be behind the other door. That really helps me figure that out.

**Craig:** You eliminate 999,999,998 of the doors, leaving behind the one you initially picked and one other door. The car is behind the other door. You are right that the limited number of doors can really mess with our heads, because it just feels like nothing important has changed, but in fact, something important has changed. This is a weird one. It’s like you said. It is a problem that has, what’s called fooled or misled a lot of people, including people who study these things. It was so hard for people to wrap their mind around it.

**John:** Let’s also talk about the decision. If you’re the contestant who is deciding, “Oh, do I stick with the first door or do I switch?” there are some natural biases that kick in. The article also talks through what those are. We have what’s called the endowment effect. People tend to overvalue the probability that they were right the first time. It’s a loss aversion. They don’t want to lose what they already had. There’s a status quo bias as well. You’re more comfortable to stick with what you’ve got rather than take a risk.

**Craig:** When you’re playing games of chance, the entire premise is that you are going to get lucky. We tend to associate our luck with our choices in gambling, as opposed to what’s happening. If I’m playing roulette, and I put everything on 28, and 28 comes up, my luck is about the fact that I chose 28. That’s where I got lucky. It has nothing to do with the bouncing ball. It was just doing what it’s doing. We do overvalue the choices we make. That’s why it feels bad. It’s almost disloyal. Also, we have been told all of our lives to stick with your gut, and it will feel worse. If we lose with the choice we made initially, it won’t feel as bad as if we lose by giving it away somehow and switching.

**John:** I want to frame this in terms of characters making choices. This is all about choices. Characters I think naturally have an instinct at the start of a story to want to keep things the way they have always been. They’re pushing to get away from it, but generally they’re hearing that call to adventure. They may ignore that call to adventure, because they know what they have, and they don’t want to risk losing what they have. That’s a very natural thing. We encounter characters at the beginning of stories that way. They’re also facing a choice, generally later on in the story, where in order to achieve that final goal, they may risk everything they’ve gotten through all up to that point. Now they’re at this one place. They don’t want to take that last risk and basically just change doors in order to get that final prize. Those are real things that characters are facing in almost every story you can imagine.

**Craig:** Absolutely. When they lose something initially, what they’re trying to do is get back to it. They love their door. They love door one. Someone says, “You can’t have door number one anymore,” and they’re like, “Okay, I’ll open some other doors, but the point is to get back to my door number one. I love it.” Then eventually, where things get really bad is when they suddenly realize, “There’s nothing behind any of these doors. Doors are not correct. I should be doing something else entirely.” You realize that you’ve been living a false choice. That’s when characters are at their lowest, I think.

**John:** The only way to win the game is not to play the game.

**Craig:** Is not to play.

**John:** Craig, this last week I was working on a new script that I’m writing. I was encountering a thing which I’d seen before, but I’d never felt it the same way. I’m curious your perspective on this. The thing I’m writing has multiple storylines. The storylines don’t directly interact until the very end of the story. I can cut freely between the two of them, which is really, of course, helpful. Movies do this. TV shows do this all the time.

A thing I was finding though is that as a reader and as an audience, we want the same amount of time to be happening in both of them. We have a strange issue about days and nights happening. Basically, if it went to night in one of the storylines, it would be weird that it didn’t feel like it was night in the other one. Cutting back and forth between the two of them, there’s just a weird time expectation when we have multiple storylines happening, even if it’s not strict story logic. You always encounter things where it’s like, this is impossible because they are on different sides of the earth, and it shouldn’t be day in both places. I’m curious, in your features, but also in your TV show, have you encountered this issue in having to move some scenes around just because it feels like… This is also a thing you may be doing in editorial as well. It feels like the time is not working between the two different storylines.

**Craig:** This is an essential part of structure and the hardware of designing these shows or movies, because people need to understand where they are, and time is part of where they are. Cinematographers hate when I say this. I’ve said it before. I think there are three times that we can show. We can show dark, we can show light, and we can show in between. That’s basically it. If we need to know more specific levels of time, we need to indicate those with clocks or with titles, which is fine. That’s a technique.

When moving back and forth between timelines, if we need to, we have to plan it out. This is something I do with first ADs, where you write out, and with a script supervisor, what day is this. Our script coordinator actually went through and would always be like, “Okay, this is now production day four,” not meaning how many shooting days, but in the progression of what we do and to track where we are in days. It’s actually really important to do. When you’re pushing together two different stories, and you want one to be in the day, and you want the next one to be at night, or vice versa, particularly when you’re going from night to day, you need probably something to indicate the passage of time before you get to the B-side of that. An exterior shot. It’s now night.

**John:** I literally had to have an establishing shot, which wasn’t going to feel necessary, but I realized, oh, that’s actually genuinely there. It made me also realize that a lot of times in Game of Thrones when we’re going back to one of those storylines, there’s a big establishing shot, because weirdly, you just needed some time to sit and let it be a different time and different place before you got into these things.

**Craig:** We have a natural… Our minds. Thank God, because this is why editing works. Our minds will just smush things together. If I show you somebody in a basement talking, and then I show you a scene of somebody walking around in a room, we will often go, “Oh, that room must be above that basement.” We just make those connections instantly. We often need some kind of indication that something has changed. Sometimes it can be sound. We can use sound, so it’s very clear we’re in a different kind of spot, or score or something. When it comes to time, nothing is as useful as showing what the outside looks like, because that is in our cavewoman, caveman brains. Where is sun? That is time.

**John:** It’s also occurring to me that different projects, different series will establish their own grammar for what they’re going to do in terms of how time works in their shows. Station Eleven has giant title cards that say “7 days earlier.” You’re flipping around so much in times, you stop obsessing about it in a way. It’s okay that it’s a little bit impressionistic. I would say Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Little Women does the same kind of thing where you’re free-floating between these different times, and they’re different ages, and it just all works, because thematically stuff is moving forward, as opposed to Lost, which sets a very clear, like, okay, from each episode, one character will have a flashback to earlier things. Those flashbacks will progress forward in time, but they’re not tethered to any one thing happening on the island and the real world clock ticking on the island. It’s a very different way of going about things than other shows, which might be running two parallel timelines.

**Craig:** I think television narrative is becoming more and more complicated. I think Lost was viewed as a bit of a brain teaser for people at the time, and now it’s just what people do, screwing around with time and fooling people with time and location and places. Do you remember how you felt when you got to that point in the third act of Silence of the Lambs, where you realized, “Wait wait wait, that’s not his house. They went to that house, and she’s going to that house.”

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That amazing misdirection-

**John:** That reveal.

**Craig:** … preyed on our natural ability to put locations together. Study that one, folks, and realize what you’re up against, because what you don’t want to do is not be in control of that phenomenon. If you’re going to mess with it, mess with it intentionally, but just know that it’s real.

**John:** Megana, have you seen all of Yellowjackets?

**Megana:** I have, yes.

**John:** How does time work in Yellowjackets? I’ve only seen the first two episodes. Over the course of the series, we’re intercutting between present day and the past. Can a lot of time happen in the past over an episode, or is it more limited?

**Megana:** It does feel more limited. The past is a survival story about when their plane crashed. The teaser starts with a flashback that is after the flashback that we see through the series. It’s a couple of years after the plane crash or something.

**John:** That’s a reveal that they get to you over the course of the series, that you’re leading up to that moment?

**Megana:** Yeah, it seems like both the present timeline and the flashback are moving from a set point, except for that teaser, I guess.

**John:** That’s great. How about Where the Crawdads Sing. I see you have this on the list, but I have not read it or seen it.

**Megana:** They structured it where in the present timeline she’s awaiting her court date, but then it goes in flashback through her entire life. Most of the present timeline is very dark. She’s in this cell. Then you get all of the daylight scenes through the flashbacks. I was curious, cutting between these things, is it one of those things where it’s uncomfortable to see it being day in both of the timelines, or do you have to consciously switch between them?

**Craig:** I think that’s okay. You mean when you go from 2022 to 1982, can you go day to day?

**Megana:** Right.

**Craig:** Yeah, you could absolutely do that. You just need to design the transition in such a way that you get an instant signifier that something very… The corny version is someone’s walking around, they’re like, “Oh yeah, I’m something something,” and then you cut to Madonna playing on the radio, and someone walks around with feathered hair, and you’re in the ’80s. You need some kind of indication, or else it’ll take a moment or two. People will wonder, especially with clothes. If the clothes aren’t super obviously cheesy time period, you might not realize that it’s a different time period.

**John:** Absolutely. Some shows will rely on that misdirection. Obviously, the pilot to This is Us used that misdirection. You assume that this is all taking place in one timeline. You realize that you’re actually in two different timelines and establishing the grammar of the show, which is always going to be moving back from those timelines.

In Big Fish, we have the present day storyline, and then we have the fantasy storyline. Those are examples of every time I’m moving into a fantasy story, and to think about what is the transition into that and what is the transition out of that. Almost everything I wrote in the script really was carried out as the transitions to get us into and out of those places, because it was important to make it feel deliberate when we’re moving into one of those stories, so we could keep moving stuff forward. Again, all the fantasy stories did move forward in time, which was important. I wasn’t just flashing back to any random moment.

**Craig:** The other transitional element you have is a character. If you’re going into a character’s alternate self back in time, forward in time, in a fantasy world, their appearance, the way they match in, that stuff can sometimes bring you back in time. You don’t need to go from day to night or night to day. That’s not an essential part of time shifting.

**John:** Cool. Megana, you have a question about finishing up projects.

**Megana:** John from Madison, Wisconsin wrote, “I just came off my first weekend on set shooting a short I wrote.”

**John:** Short films.

**Megana:** “It was one of the best experiences of my life hearing and seeing amazing actors bring alive images and lines that lived in my head for so long. It was really overwhelming. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. Now it’s Monday morning, and I’m blue as hell. Is this normal? I feel a loss, like someone has died or left me. What is this, and how do I move past it? I can imagine the advice to write something new, but that feels like telling the newly widowed to just go find someone else. Have you guys ever felt this? How do you deal with it?”

**Craig:** John, have you ever felt this?

**John:** I’ve felt generally relief at the end of a project, but I do get what John is expressing overall is that your identity and your excitement, you were building up to do this thing, and you got to do it with a group of people, and hopefully it turned out great, and then it’s done. It’s just like college is done or a semester is done. There was great stuff. It was an adventure. Now that adventure is over. You can feel kind of at sea.

**Craig:** I do feel this. I feel this intensely, almost every time. I feel this, honestly, when I finish writing a script. I really feel it when I’m done with shooting something. You did a weekend, and you’re missing it. I did a year, John from Madison. I talk to Bella and Pedro all the time, and just because we’re bummed. We’re sad. We miss each other. We miss the life.

Something that Bella was saying that is very true is when you’re shooting, it gives your life this sense of incredible structure and purpose that you just normally don’t have. You are working 12 hours every day, and your day is very clearly defined, and what you need to do is defined. It is hustle and bustle. It’s highs and lows, a lot of emotion, panic, anxiety, but you’re alive. Man, you’re alive. You’re exhausted, but you’re alive, and you’re making something. Then suddenly there’s just silence, and no one’s there, and there is no call sheet telling you what to do or where to go. You have to figure out what am I having for lunch. This is absolutely normal, John, I think. It’s normal for you and me. How about that?

**John:** I think it’s a normal experience. What you’re describing also reminds me of people talk about when they leave the military, they really miss that sense of purpose, they miss that sense of structure. You had that while you were making the short film. People have this when they’re on Survivor, when they’re doing something intense that is taking 100% of their time. When you remove that, you do kind of feel at sea. Let’s think through what are some good strategies for getting through this. First, it’s just you’re acknowledging it. I think it’s important just to acknowledge how you’re feeling and recognize that it’s not strange to feel this way, it’s natural to feel this way. You’re going to find other… You need to look for things that can revive that sense of purpose, even if it’s not so intense as making a short film over a weekend. Try to make sure that your life feels purposeful on a daily basis.

**Craig:** There are days where it isn’t. I think John’s right that acknowledging it is really important, and knowing it’s normal is important. The thing that helps the most is the thing that helps all of the things the most, and that’s time. It’s just time. You have to experience it. You’re saying you’re very into mourning, and you are mourning. There is a grief involved in these things ending. Then it ends. It fades, and you’re okay again.

Don’t lose that desire to get back in there. It is an addictive life. It is an exciting life. The more you do it, and the better you get, the more professional and impressive the people around you get. That’s when it starts to be awesome. Then you end up working with world-class actors and world-class crews, doing incredible things. The stakes get higher and higher, and the stress gets higher and higher. The scrutiny is more and more. Yet what else would we rather do? I think, John, this is good news for you in Madison, Wisconsin. You love this. See if you can’t do the things you need to do to turn this into a living. If you can’t, then do the things you need to do to turn this into an incredible pastime, hobby.

**John:** Fully agree.

**Megana:** Craig, when you describe feeling this after you finish a script, do you build in a couple of days to, I don’t know, be sad about it, or do you just keep writing?

**Craig:** I definitely build in days. I just know that there’s going to be probably a week where I’m just bummed out, because when I’m writing a script, it’s like I’m on a set in my head with all these characters in my head, and we’re all doing these things together and finding these things and seeing these things. Because every script naturally has a point where it lands and ends, it’s like that is now dead.

**John:** Now Craig, your experience on this TV show where you’re writing script after script after script after script, I suspect it was slightly different, because while you might finish a script, there’s always that other script that’s about to start shooting, and one down the road. Did you feel the same sense of closure at the end of each of these scripts as you were writing for these 10 episodes?

**Craig:** I did. I did, yeah, because like I said, each one has to end. The scripts end. When they end, it’s like that chapter is done. I’ve written that chapter. It’s over. I will never be able to write that for the first time again. There’s terrible then impending doom and panic that more had to be written. There’s a lot of weird stuff that happens when you make the insane decision to write an entire series by yourself, because then you’re imposing this feeling upon yourself over and over and over. It’s probably not healthy at all. In fact, it’s not healthy at all. A lot of what we do is not healthy.

**John:** When I wrote my three Arlo Finch books, and I committed to doing three books over the course of three years, it was that level of just like, “Oh my god, I’m just a person who writes Arlo Finch books. That’s all I do every day is write Arlo Finch books.” I loved it. I loved that structure and that discipline. I did feel a loss when a book was delivered, but also I did feel a sense of relief, just like my kid was off in college now and I actually had some free time to do some other things that were appealing to me. That’s the thing I would also remind John is it’s great that you were able to shoot this short film, fantastic, you’ll be editing, you’ll be doing all that stuff, but I bet you also have 15 other ideas that you’re chomping to get started on. When the time comes, you’ll get to write out one of those, and that’ll be exciting for you too.

**Craig:** Yeah, so good news, John, in a weird way. Good news.

**John:** Good news. Let’s do our One Cool Things. Craig, what’s your One Cool Thing?

**Craig:** I may have talked about Kevin Wald and his cryptics before, but this One Cool Thing involves his latest that came out, and a little bit of a challenge to our listeners. Kevin Wald, he’s a gentleman who is a member of the National Puzzlers League, NPL. The National Puzzlers League, that is the Major Leagues of puzzle solving. They are very smart, very advanced solvers and creators. They create some of the more fiendish puzzles in existence. Kevin Wald, I’m just going to call him the evil emperor of cryptics. We’ve talked about cryptic crosswords before, which are much harder than regular crosswords. Then there’s really hard cryptics, insanely hard cryptics, and after all of that, there’s Kevin Wald cryptics, which are insane. He typically will do a group of three cryptics that are connected to the city where the National Puzzlers League is having their convention.

In 2022 the convention took place in Nashville, Tennessee. There are three cryptics. They function the way a lot of his cryptic groups do. You solve the first two, and then the answers from those feed into some of the answers for three. We’re going to put a link in here. If you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page, you’ll see the 2022 puzzles. If you click on the first one, which is entitled “Pennsylvania Railroad, New York,” and you look at just the instructions, just the instructions-

**John:** Wow.

**Craig:** … for what’s happening will scare away, I’m going to guess, 98% of you, as well they should. Then the remaining 2% of you are going to try and do this. I think maybe 10% of that 2% will complete it. It’s really hard, and it’s wonderful.

**John:** That’s great.

**Craig:** I do these over the course of weeks. Weeks. I finally finished all three of them. The insanity and the beauty of his construction and the way it all moves together, you just marvel at it. You also marvel at yourself for finishing it. Here’s the contest. It’s a One Cool Thing contest for our listeners. If you can solve these three puzzles, including all of the prompts in all of the puzzles, and you can send me your grids and your answers, and they’re correct, then I’ll give you something. What do you want? You tell me what you want. I’ll try and make it happen. We can negotiate a prize.

The only rule I have is that you cannot be or have been a member of the National Puzzlers League. You’ve got to be what I would call a layperson. You don’t have to be necessarily new to these, but really this is intended for people who aren’t routinely solving Kevin Wald puzzles. This is for newbies. Let’s see, you cryptic geniuses out there, if you can handle the mad emperor of cryptics, Kevin Wald.

**John:** You’re trying to create new mad puzzlers is really what you’re trying to do.

**Craig:** Yes. This is like The Last Starfighter. I’m recruiting for some sort of space battle that requires incredible cryptic ability.

**John:** I love it. Let’s send those answers to ask@johnaugust.com. It’d be fantastic if 20 people solved it.

**Craig:** 20 people are not going to solve it. Not a chance.

**John:** We’ll see how many people solve it.

**Craig:** If one person does, I will be thrilled. We can think of a prize. We’ll have a fun prize for you. We’ll certainly say your name on the air.

**John:** Love it. I have two One Cool Things. One of them is very short. Nathan Fielder did this show called Nathan For You, which I loved. It took me a while to get into it, but it’s just great. All those episodes are available online. You can find them. His new show called The Rehearsal I think is actually a masterpiece. It’s on HBO Max. You can find it. Craig, do you know the premise of the show at all?

**Craig:** I do. I’m going to watch it, but it put my stomach in knots just hearing about it.

**John:** Everything with Nathan Fielder has a wince factor. It’s like, “Oh my god, this is so uncomfortable, and yet also great and super, super funny.” The premise of the show is that Nathan Fielder will find a person who is facing a dilemma, generally a conversation they need to have with somebody or a situation they need to figure out. He will physically build sets that resemble the place where you’re going to have this conversation and recruit actors to be the other people in this. He will go to absurd lengths to create these rehearsal situations, practice this thing, exactly what you’re going to say or what you’re going to do. I don’t want to spoil what happens over the course of it, but it just gets to be so absurd and so funny. He becomes a major character in it. I strongly recommend you watch The Rehearsal, which is great.

Last is just a bit of a hooray for the WGA Pension and Health Plan added coverage for trans health issues that were long needed. I was sort of unaware of them. They are now being covered. I’m going to point you to an article by Eleanor Jean and Katrina Mathewson talking about what the process was to get really good, proper trans health care into what we always think about as being really good health insurance but was not even up to the level of MediCal before this.

**Craig:** Wow.

**John:** That’s great to see.

**Craig:** What are some specifics of what we are now offering folks in our plan?

**John:** It’s basically gender-affirming care. There’s an organization called WPATH, World Professional Association for Transgender Health, which sets the standards for these. What the article makes clear is that WGA was currently offering what other guilds were offering, was not up to the level of what Amazon was offering, what a bigger company was offering, but it was possible. What they needed to do was really show these are the things, these are the dollar these things cost, just to do the things that are necessary for a person who needs health care, because what Eleanor Jean was saying is that in a weird way, it would make more sense for her to stop being a writer and just get on MediCal to get some of this stuff, because the disparities were so great there. It’s an encouraging story that it took a lot of people really figuring out how to do this and make it work for it to happen there, but it’s now in our health plan.

**Craig:** That sounds incredibly positive. I’m a little bit surprised, honestly, because like you say, we think of our insurance as being better than almost everybody else’s. I guess there you go. It’s like, yeah, if you aren’t transgender, it is. Then you find out from transgender people that for them it’s not. I’m glad that we are getting everybody in alignment. This is the best of what we can provide writers, and so it should be the best of what we can provide writers. Excellent move.

**John:** I’ll put a link in the show notes to their article talking through the whole process and what actually was won.

**Craig:** Good.

**John:** Hooray. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** That’s right.

**John:** Our outro this week is by Adam Pineless.

**Craig:** No pines.

**John:** Someone pointed out that you never actually say hooray after our outros.

**Craig:** That’s right. I’m glad. It took 562 episodes for somebody to notice. I’ll tell you why. Here’s why. It’s not that I’m not cheering for the people who do our outros. They’re wonderful. I do think we have to carve out some special space for Matthew and Megana or whoever might succeed Megana, may that day never come to a truth.

**Megana:** Key emphasis on might.

**Craig:** Exactly. 90-year-old Megana dealing with, whatever, our children doing this show. They need special acknowledgement. Personally, I don’t know these folks. What if somebody who wrote the outro is actually a total bastard?

**John:** Also, the reality is Craig has not heard the outro before, as I’m saying this.

**Craig:** That’s right.

**John:** He has no idea how good it is.

**Craig:** It could be terrible. It’s never terrible.

**John:** It’s never terrible. They’re all great.

**Craig:** I’m sure none of you are bastards. Certainly, Adam Pineless at this point is wondering, “Why on my outro did this have to happen?” Adam, you get a woohoo.

**John:** Woohoo. If you have an outro, like Adam, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions or answers to Craig’s impossible puzzle challenge.

**Craig:** It’s possible.

**John:** Possible.

**Craig:** It’s possible, but unlikely.

**John:** For shorter questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin, I’m @johnaugust. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weeklyish newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts, and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau, along with hoodies. You can sign up to become a Premium Member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all of the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one we’re about to record on Codenames.

**Craig:** Codenames.

**John:** That’s also where you’ll find out first about our live shows that are coming up. Definitely sign up at scriptnotes.net. Craig and Megana, thank you for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

**Megana:** Thank you.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Craig, we have to set the scene for our Codenames experience, because I never played with you, but I assumed you knew what Codenames was, because it feels like a very good board game. We were supposed to be playing D and D in person. We were all there with our laptops, because of course, our maps are on laptops now. Our character sheets are on laptops.

**Craig:** We were at our friend Chris Morgan’s house. His internet did something I’ve never encountered before.

**John:** It was wild.

**Craig:** It was weird. He has WiFi in his house. For whatever reason, his WiFi would accept no more than two or three connections. After that, no, you couldn’t get on. There were three people, like my phone, his laptop, and his laptop are working. Nobody else’s can get on, or would get on and then immediately get booted off. Then somebody would log off of theirs, and then somebody else could log on, but then other people couldn’t log on. If you’re an IT professional, if you can explain that, I’d love to hear the answer to that one.

**John:** You had 6 men in their 40s and 50s all trying to solve a WiFi problem. That’s a comedy right there.

**Craig:** It was six “actually” guys all failing completely. Legitimately, I’ve never encountered a situation where the internet was there, the WiFi was providing it beautifully, but to no more than three local IPs. Can someone explain that, somebody who knows about fricking network crap? Can you tell me why that would happen? It was really weird. We were stuck. In lieu of playing D and D, we broke out Codenames, which Chris had at his house but had actually never played. Of course, John, you and I play Codenames. I play it all the time.

**John:** Megana plays it as well. Let’s describe Codenames for people who have not played the game before.

**Craig:** Which is easy to do, actually.

**John:** It really is.

**Craig:** One of the few games where describing it is simple.

**John:** It is absolutely. This is the classic Codenames. You open the box. There are cards that have just single words on them. They’re small, little cards. You lay them out on a grid on the table, 5 by 5, so 25 cards are out on the table. There are two clue-givers. In the first round, it was me and Craig were giving clues. We are looking at a special little card that shows the grid. Some of the squares are blue. Some of the squares are red. Let’s say Craig is red, I’m blue. Craig is responsible to get his team to guess the words that match up with those red squares. He will be giving a single word clue. His team will try to figure out which words that clue could refer to. I’m going to try to do the same for the blue team to my blue words for my team. It’s surprisingly fun and challenging to do, because you’re trying to get as many words as possible in each round without getting the other team’s words or hitting this saboteur who could kill the whole thing.

**Craig:** There’s an acronym that Matt Gaffney, who does the weekly Matt Gaffney meta-crossword, uses, and that’s SAD, S-A-D, simple and difficult. Simple and difficult is basically the holy grail of game mechanics, and this one is practically the epitome of it, because it is the simplest thing to explain. There’s 25 words out there. I’m going to give you a single word and then a number. That number is an indication of how many of those words I’m cluing to. My job is if I’m like, “Okay, I need to come up with a word that connects to anvil and heart and music. Maybe I’ll say beat, B-E-A-T, beat for three.” Then the team has to look at all 25 words and hopefully land on heart, music, and anvil, because we’re using beat in different ways for each one of those words. It’s really fun. It’s really tricky. John, earlier you said we’re rooting for each other. I always feel like when I’m the clue-giver, I’m kind of rooting for my fellow clue-giver, because we’re both in a pickle. Everybody else is this innocent who can just guess.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** You’re the ones who know everything and have all the responsibility and accountability. It’s a terrific game. It, as they usually say about Othello, takes a moment to learn and a lifetime to master.

**John:** A lifetime to master.

**Craig:** It’s a terrific game. After we finished, I did talk a little bit about what I consider to be Codenames’s smarter, older sibling, Decrypto.

**John:** Decrypto, which is another good game.

**Craig:** Awesome.

**John:** I want to talk about Decrypto, but I want to first focus on two house rules or things that I’ve noticed that were different about how you played versus how I played. I think one of the great things about playing games with new people is you see, oh, this is how they do things. A house rule we always have is that if you are the team who’s guessing word, you could talk talk talk talk talk, but ultimately, you put your finger on the card to say, “I’m choosing this card,” because otherwise, I’ve been in situations where it’s ambiguous, like are they really saying it or are they not saying it? Put your finger on the card. That is the indicator. If you touch the card, you’ve chosen it.

**Craig:** I agree.

**John:** That’s our rule.

**Craig:** That’s how we play as well.

**John:** A thing that you were doing, which I’d never done ourselves but is so smart, is that you made a list. You had a notebook, and you made a list of all of your words so you could see them outside of the context of the grid. That is genuinely a good, smart thing to be doing that I have not seen other players do, because you can see connections more easily when you’re not looking upside-down at the words, trying to figure out what the common threads are there.

**Craig:** Part of the little method I use is I write down the words that I know I have to clue, and then I started just looking at that list and going, “Okay, here’s some obvious things I could do. Let me circle these and draw a line. I can clue these three. I can clue these two. What do I have left over? Is there a way for me to put one of those into this other group?” The most important thing you have to consider when you do that method is you can’t get lost on your list, because you need to then look immediately. You’re like, “Okay, this word will clue these three. Now let me look back at the table, because am I also mistakenly cluing one of my opponent’s words, or is there a word that’s neither of our words, that would be the first thing they would guess?” Also, there is that one killer word that immediately loses you the game if your team guesses it. Don’t get lost in your list, but the list is a very good way to start.

**John:** Now, I think the original Codenames is a fantastic game, but Megana Rao actually gifted me what I think is actually a better version of Codenames, which is Codenames: Pictures, which I’m not sure if you ever played.

**Craig:** I’ve seen it. I haven’t played it.

**John:** It is phenomenal. Like Codenames, you have a grid of cards. I think you’re actually only putting out 20 cards at a time. They have these weirdly ambiguous images. A couple things are combined on it. It could be you see a clown, but there’s also a horse and something else. They’re well-done images. You’re still responsible for giving one-word clues. What I like is it takes the words on the table out of the picture, so you’re really just focusing on what could get people to think about these things. Are you describing the shape of something? “Pointy” might be a word I would get. It’s like, “Oh, that looks like both that sun illustration, but also that pencil.” It forces you to think differently about how you’re going to tie these clues together.

**Craig:** I should play it. I want to play it. I love the Codenames extended universe.

**John:** It is. There’s Dirty Codewords, which is fine. Basically, you’re going to say some more provocative things because of the words that are-

**Craig:** Poop.

**John:** Poop. There’s a Marvel Codenames. It’s a whole extended universe.

**Craig:** Marvel Codenames. Oh my god. “Hero.”

**John:** “Hero.”

**Craig:** “Hero” for everything.

**John:** Megana, you got me the Codenames: Pictures. Any other Codenames experience you’ve had?

**Megana:** I’ve only played the regular one we have at the office and Codenames: Pictures. I’m curious if this is how you play too, Craig, because now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t know if it’s kosher, but when John is guessing, he will go through methodically clue by clue and explain his reasoning for not picking it, which makes it easier as a clue-giver to know where there might’ve been a miss. Is that standard?

**Craig:** Legal? It is legal. It’s legal.

**Megana:** Sorry, not to put you on blast, John.

**Craig:** No, I’m glad that you’re exposing John for what he is, which is a monster. That’s totally legal. I would argue that if you have played enough as a clue-giver, that kind of insight into the guesser’s mind will probably screw you up more often than it helps you, because they will not be consistent. That’s the one thing I know. They will not at all be consistent. This is the tricky part. You clue a word, and you’re cluing it for three. They get two of them right and one of them wrong. Now they’re going to have a chance to go back and try and guess again on that one, meaning guess back on your old clue. What if you can fold that remaining word into a new clue? They won’t know. They may keep cluing back to that old clue. All of their talking does not predict a damn thing. My rule is that the guessers can talk as much as they want. They may also be giving the other team information.

**John:** Of course.

**Craig:** That’s the risk that they take. The only thing is that the clue-givers really have to try very hard to not say anything other than the word and the number, which is why if you’re playing online with friends, and you go to the official Codenames website, which is free, you can play for free online, what’s nice about it is you type your clue in, you hit a number, and so all your teammates get is just that feedback. There is information in saying, “Okay, this is a stretch, but shorts for nine.”

**John:** Shouldn’t be able to do that. Between the padding, the framing of stuff, and just body language, which you should try to not reveal, but of course it’s hard not to indicate like, “Oh my god, don’t pick that one, because it’s the assassin,” as clue-givers you cannot be doing that. Still, people are going to try to read for that, because it’s human nature.

**Craig:** Exactly. One of the fun parts about playing in person is if you are an experienced Codenames player and you’re the clue-giver, you should actually come to enjoy saying nothing and being as sphinxlike as possible, not having any reaction, not sighing, not looking, not smiling, nothing. In a weird way, I’m almost rooting against my team. That’s how I make sure that I don’t give them body language. One of the newer players made a classic new player mistake. It was totally normal. When they were a clue-giver, his team was like, “Hm, it’s probably this.” Then the other team was like, “You know, it could be that,” just being jerks about it. The clue-giver was like, “You guys stay out of it.” That’s information. He’s basically saying don’t distract them from what they were saying, because what they were saying is correct. The thing is, when you’re a clue-giver, you have to literally give zero information beyond the word and the amount of words you want them to guess, which is fine.

**John:** The cleanest version of this, the clue-giver would write down something, hand it across, and leave the room, but that wouldn’t be fun for a party game. That’s why you don’t do that.

**Craig:** When you are playing with people remotely over Zoom, and you’re looking at the screen, it actually is kind of fun. You can turn your camera off if you can’t handle it. I was playing once where somebody, they were great, but they honestly were like, “I can’t handle it. I’m turning my camera off,” because what happens is, as the clue-giver, you give a clue, you think it’s really good, and maybe it is. Maybe one person on the team is like, “Oh, it’s got to be these three things.” You’re like, “Yes, I’m good, you’re good.” They’re like, “Great, let’s do it.” Then one person’s like, “Just one thing,” and they bring up some dumb thing about another word that’s so stupid. People want to go along, get along with other people, like, “I don’t want to fight,” so they just end up blowing it. You’re like, “You mother… “ There are times where just inside you’re like a raging volcano. You must be quiet. You must stay zen on the outside.

**Megana:** A moment of pride for me is John’s husband, Mike, is incredibly stoic always, but especially when he is the clue-giver in Codenames. Because Mike and John aren’t allowed to play on the same team, I’m normally paired up with Mike. One time I guess my postulations were so off the wall that I brought Mike to tears. He was laughing so hard about how ridiculous my jumps were.

**Craig:** Are you an over-thinker?

**Megana:** Definitely. The clue was “sheath.” I was talking aloud.

**Craig:** “Sheath.”

**Megana:** I was like, “Could a bomb have a sheath, like a sheath that contains the dynamite or something?” I’m definitely that nightmare person you described, Craig.

**Craig:** The little strategy that I always recommend to new players to consider is, and ideally your clue-giver is working this way too, when you think, “Okay, maybe they’re cluing these two words,” ask yourself, “Okay, it’s either they’re cluing these two words, this one and this one, or it’s this first one and this other one.” Ask the question, what else would they have clued? Is there a better clue they could’ve given for those two as opposed to those two? Because if there is an obvious better clue, then they’re probably not cluing that one, because they didn’t go for the obvious clue. They’re probably cluing this one. It’s a good thing to think through. If I wanted you to pick those two, like if I wanted you to pick “Ireland” and “gold,” I would’ve said, “Leprechaun.” I would not have said what I ended up saying, which was, whatever, “Peat moss.” That was “Ireland” and “vegetable.” “Peat moss” is two words. You can’t use that, but regardless.

**Megana:** Our team typically goes high volume. We’re giving clues for four words at a time.

**Craig:** Four is hard to do.

**John:** It is.

**Megana:** High risk, high reward.

**Craig:** Sure. Everybody has their own strategies. Look, hell, if I can clue eight words, I will. One of the early games I played of Codenames, David Kwong was the clue-giver. I was the only guesser. It was just four people playing. The other team was cluing for three, cluing for two. He was like, “Clue for one. Clue for one. Clue for one.” I was like, “What the F are you doing, dude? You’re killing us.” He gave me no information.

We’re screwed. They’re next. It’s our turn. They are next. They only have one word left, and so we’re going to lose. I think we had six words or something. Then he clued something for six. I was like, “Oh, okay.” He needed to get certain words off the board to make his massive six-word clue work. He was waiting them out, because they had words that would’ve gotten in the way of his clue. He just waited for them and then dropped the bomb, and we won. I was like, “Okay, I apologize for doubting you, sensei.”

**John:** Decrypto, you’ve mentioned before, is sort of like the opposite of Codnames. Basically, there are words that everyone can see that you’re trying to say but not say, so that you can get these numbers to match up. I think it’s a really, really smart game. Megana, can you tell us why we don’t play it in the office? Is it because Nima doesn’t like it?

**Megana:** Yeah, Nima hates Decrypto, but I am always making the pitch for it.

**Craig:** Nima is wrong.

**John:** He’s wrong.

**Craig:** He’s wrong, and he needs to stop that. It’s simple, because Decrypto is Codenames all grown up. The simple way to describe Decrypto is let’s say we’re on the same team. You and John and I, the three of us, we’re on a team. We have four words. All three of us know what those four words are. Each word is numbered. We have word number 1, word number 2, word number 3, and word number 4, and we know them. Then each round, one of us is going to be a clue-giver. That rotates through on each round. The clue-giver picks a card. The card will just have three digits on it. They will be some combination of 1, 2, 3, or four . It might 324. It might be 142. That tells me, okay, it’s 142, so I need to give 3 words, so that my team can look at word 1, 2, 3, and 4, and go, “Okay, that clue is word 1, that clue is word 3, that clue is word 4.” Then they say the number back. That’s it, easy.

Why is it a game? Here’s why. Because when I give them those three words, and then they respond with what the correct answer is with the numbers, the other team hears it. The other team goes, “Okay, we don’t know what their words are, but we know that that dude clued ‘grass,’ ‘tall,’ and ‘cow,’ and then their response was ‘324,’ and that was correct, so we know now the ‘cow’ clue is word 3.”

As each round goes, you collect more and more words that keep cluing back to whatever word number 1 is. Now you have four words that somehow that other team knew was word 1. You’re asking yourselves, what do these four words clue possibly commonly? Then when you get it, it’s mind-blowing and awesome, because obviously they’re trying to mislead you. You’re doing the same thing, and they’re trying to guess your words. It’s fantastic. It’s so great. Nima has rocked me, and I’m shooketh.

**John:** I think Nima would be great at that. I agree it’s a really terrific game. I think what’s different about it is that aspect of it. It’s not even social deception. It’s really just deception. It’s basically how do I not let you think what the answer is? You’re trying to make sure that your teammates understand what you’re trying to say, without the other team being able to infer it. That’s great.

**Craig:** Exactly, because if your team gets it wrong twice, you lose. If the other team guesses your code twice, they win. There’s almost no margin for error. It’s more chess-like in that regard. I’m really shocked. Nima needs to reevaluate I think everything at this point. Everything.

**John:** We’ll have you over to the office for our Friday game block, and you’ll talk us through.

**Craig:** I’m going to make him play Decrypto. Melissa is very good at Decrypto.

**John:** I’m sure she’s great at that.

**Craig:** She’s terrifyingly good at Decrypto. We also have some little house rule versions where we’ll say, okay, this round, everybody’s three clues have to start with the same letter, or in this round, the three clues have to be thematic in some way, like “ball,” “bounce,” and “round,” or something like that. It’s fun. It’s great. It’s a great game. You should all get it and play it. I think there’s also a Decrypto online, which works really well.

**John:** Cool. Thanks, guys.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**Megana:** Thank you.

**John:** Bye.

**Craig:** Bye.

Links:

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* John’s short film [God](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d314AWqNeM)
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* [The Rehearsal](https://www.hbo.com/the-rehearsal) Nathan Fielder’s new show on HBO Max
* [Kevin Wald’s Con Cryptics](https://www.ucaoimhu.com/concryptics.html) write in to ask@johnaugust.com if you can figure it out!
* [Codenames Game](https://www.target.com/p/codenames-board-game/-/A-50364627#lnk=sametab), [Codenames with Pictures](https://www.target.com/p/codenames-pictures-board-game/-/A-51511992), and more in the [Codenames Universe!](https://codenamesgame.com/)
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* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Adam Pineless ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
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Scriptnotes, Episode 560: Books and VFX, Transcript

August 15, 2022 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: This is Episode 560 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, we’ll discuss how writers should think about visual effects, both from a creative and budgetary perspective. One of us, Craig, has a lot recent experience in that area.

Craig: Oh boy, do I.

John: We’ll also chat about books, specifically should screenwriters be trying to get the options on them themselves. We’ll discuss formal and less formal arrangements for book options. In our Bonus Segment for Premium Members, we will discuss nightmares. Not metaphorical nightmares like Harvey Weinstein, but actually nightmares occurring during sleep.

Craig, this is your first glance at the topics we’re going to be discussing today. How do you feel about it?

Craig: I feel strong. In particular, I really like this idea of talking about visual effects from the writing point of view, because whether writers realize it or not, they are now as integral to the storytelling process as, I don’t know, lights or microphones.

John: Fundamental. You have lights and microphones upon you, because you were at the Comic Con-

Craig: Segue Man.

John: … presentation panel for Mythic Quest. Craig, how was Comic Con?

Craig: I have no idea, because here’s how it went for me.

John: Tell me.

Craig: Rob McElhenney, he said, “Hey, can you come host this thing? We’re flying down real quick into the little mini San Diego airport. I said, “Okay, I’ll do it.” We fly into the mini San Diego airport. That’s a 35-minute flight. That’s enjoyable. There’s a car. The car takes you to hotel. Then you go from hotel to the back entrance of Comic Con, through the massive back area where the garbage is and the delivery is at. You get herded into a little pen. It’s actually a rather large room. A lovely time before the thing chatting with the cast, who are all wonderful. Then you go on stage, you do this thing. If you’re watching, if you do watch it, I don’t know, on YouTube or something, please understand none of us could hear each other. The microphones are so echoey on stage. I would ask questions and then sort of know what people said.

John: Is that why everyone’s smiling and nodding a lot, but there’s no flow to things?

Craig: Yes. It was horrible. We all did our best. Afterwards, we were just laughing. They’re like, “We kind of understood what you were saying.” I was like, “I kind of understood what you were saying, but I couldn’t ask any follow-ups, because I had no idea really what your answers were.”

John: Wow.

Craig: I did get to have a lovely moment with Danny Pudi where we recreated his wonderful viral moment where he told Larry King, “Larry, I’m on Duck Tales.” That was fun. People really seemed to enjoy it. The word from the crowd was that they enjoyed it.

John: Great.

Craig: We were happy about that. Then we all went to dinner and left. That’s what I saw of Comic Con, a backstage garbage area.

John: It was like Hunger Games, and you were just the noble family coming out there and seeing the Hunger Games but didn’t have to participate in any of the Hunger Games.

Craig: I did not participate in the Hunger Games. I know that there will be some sort of conventioneering in my future. That’s for sure. I would like for it to be a little bit more of an experience than I had there. That was very much a Seal Team Six, get in, get out kind of deal.

John: Love it. Next piece is news and follow-up. Craig, when you need to refer to someone’s credits, where do you look at their credits?

Craig: I go to IMDb.

John: I have been going to IMDb for 20 years. Actually, my very first answering your questions about screenwriting happened on IMDb. I used to host a little column weekly on IMDb. I believe IMDb is a great resource that should be treasured. At times, I’ve been frustrated with IMDb, because they’ll make changes to the layout. It’ll just be broken and stupid. I made an extension for Safari at one point that I called Less IMDb that made it prettier and made it work better. This is credits for John Logan, classic credits. Describe what you’re seeing here.

Craig: It says Filmography, and then just a list of blue linked credits, but the television series have sub-credits of episodes. That’s what it has.

John: This is what you’d expect to see. They give you the option now where you could see the preview of the next version of IMDb, what they’re going to be doing. It’s going to be huge improvements, right? This is how credits are going to be shown now. This is the same credits for the same writer. Tell me what you’re seeing.

Craig: Now I’m seeing mostly the one-sheets for those things in chunks, without much information. I guess it’s all the same information. It’s just more visual. I don’t know, it’s all weirdly laid out in a way that makes no sense to me, because it’s a grid.

John: It’s a two-column grid. You can’t tell order of things. Are you supposed to go left to right, or is it going down the bottom?

Craig: It looks like it’s going left to right, top to bottom, which is standard for say a meta-crossword but not necessarily the way our minds are trained to work for this.

John: No. I think it is disastrous, and it’s a really, really bad idea. I’m trying to publicly point this out and maybe shame them and get them to rethink what they’re doing here, or at least make it an option to get back to a normal list view, because this is disastrous. This makes life much harder when you’re like, “What has an actor been in? Oh my God, I don’t want to look at all the posters. I just want to see a list of their credits.”

Craig: Here’s a question for you, as a Webster. The information that IMDb includes is not proprietary. It’s all based on publicly available credits, obviously. Could one create a better IMDb, meaning the layout is better, and simply use a scraper to just start going through IMDb, pulling all the crap out of information, and then re-presenting it in a much nicer format?

John: That would be copyright violations out the wazoo.

Craig: Really?

John: Yeah, it is.

Craig: Why?

John: While it is public information, the accumulation of that and curation of that is a service that IMDb is actually providing. You would run into so many problems there.

Craig: Really?

John: Yeah, you really would.

Craig: If I go, “I want a program that goes over to IMDb and pulls out John August’s credits.”

John: Yep.

Craig: Your credits don’t belong to IMDb.

John: Absolutely true.

Craig: Why can’t I do that?

John: I believe that if I were creating a scraper that went to one person’s thing and scraped out all the stuff, that would not be problematic. If I went and created a bot that went and scraped all of IMDb, which is what you really want to do, that is problematic, because-

Craig: Really?

John: … not only am I taking their copyright information, I am-

Craig: What? What copyright information?

John: The organization of all their credits and the curation of those credits to make sure that they are accurate.

Craig: I don’t think that that’s copyrightable. I just think that they’re simply going through publicly available information and vetting it that it’s true. That doesn’t mean it’s… They didn’t write it.

John: I believe there are problems there. Actually, when I was a summer intern at Universal, my job was to enter stuff into Universal’s own equivalent thing to IMDb. It’s a giant, giant pain in the ass. We were literally looking through Variety and putting credits off of Variety.

Craig: The labor does not necessarily equate to copyright. I would say that this sounds like what we need is for one of our brilliant listeners, perhaps an attorney and/or a Webster-

John: Webster.

Craig: Or a Webster attorney.

John: Oh my God, can you imagine if Webster were an attorney?

Craig: Oh my God.

John: Webster, the little-

Craig: Please can we go back to 1987-

John: Emmanuel Lewis.

Craig: …and write the Webster attorney show?

John: Oh my God, so good.

Craig: Webster at law.

John: So good.

Craig: God, I’d watch that. It would be so good. Megana, do you have any idea who we’re talking about?

Megana Rao: No, I’m Googling Webster right now.

Craig: There we go. Emmanuel Lewis-

John: Emmanuel Lewis.

Craig: … is wonderful. Back in the day, there’s an actor named Gary Coleman, and he was the star of Different Strokes. People who are my age or John’s age just loved Gary Coleman. He was very short. He was short in fact because of a disease. He didn’t have dwarfism. He was just short. His growth was inhibited. While this made him wonderfully valuable for a television show about a cute kid, it became problematic for him as he grew up. Then of course, once he grew up, they need to find another Gary Coleman, and they landed on Emmanuel Lewis, who also was incredibly small, I think again because of a disorder. Emmanuel Lewis played Webster.

John: I don’t even really remember the full conceit of Webster. Was there a butler involved in the show somehow?

Craig: I don’t remember a butler. I just remember that they went as close to Different Strokes as they could, like, “We’re going to take a Black kid and put him with a white adoptive father, and then we’re going to do it again. In fact, change as little as we can possibly change.” You were able to do stuff like that. There was no Twitter, so people couldn’t destroy you within seconds. Oh, Webster. Let’s get Webster back.

John: Webster attorney comes in here and he figures out that you could actually scrape IMDb and put it in a better format. Maybe there’s some version of that that can happen. Honestly, you can also go to Wikipedia, which is genuinely a public service that has this stuff, but it’s just not as thorough and accurate as these other things are, and things don’t link through the same way that IMDb does. I want to make sure we don’t lose what is great about IMDb in this mad quest to make it prettier or make the trailers more accessible.

Craig: IMDb is Amazon’s bad advertising platform. That’s what it is. I think it’s a mess. I hate going on IMDb, by the way. I hate it. I can’t find anything. It used to be that you would put somebody’s name in and you would get everything. Now you have to look for all filmography or you just see the things that they want you to see. It’s a mess.

John: The plugin that we used to make for it, which we actually had to sunset it because it kept breaking because they kept making other changes to it, did make it better on desktop. It couldn’t help out on the web because it’s really an app now. The app isn’t as bad as the web version is, but still it’s frustrating.

Craig: That’s the other thing is if I’m looking at something on IMDb on my phone, it screams at me to use the app and takes up half a page, demanding that I use the app. Why? Why do they need me to use the app? Tell me, from an app guy point of view.

John: Because they built the app. Also, because they can hold you inside the ecosystem better and longer, they’ve discovered, if they are keeping you in the app. That’s why.

Craig: There we go.

John: There you go.

Craig: There we go.

John: Speaking of keeping people in the ecosystem-

Craig: Segue Man.

John: … let’s do some follow-up on Netflix. We’ve talked about Netflix and that they had disappointing earnings, and everyone was up in arms. Their earnings weren’t as disappointing as people expected, so they’re maybe not so screwed. This last week I read an article by Dave Karpf on his Substack talking about re-framing what we should think about with Netflix. I thought it was really helpful, so I wanted to put a link in the show notes to this.

What Karpf is arguing is that we started to think about Netflix as two different businesses. There’s this actual business, which is a subscription video service, and it’s the imaginary business, where it’s a competitor to Apple and Amazon and one of these giant things. What he points out is that Amazon can sell you more and more stuff every month. There’s no ceiling to how much they can sell you. Same with Apple. They can sell you new products. Facebook and Google can sell more ads off of you. Netflix can make about $120 a year off of you, and that’s it. There’s a cap to how much Netflix can make per person. That’s the reality. Netflix may want to say that they’re competing against video games and other things for your attention, but really, they just need you to not cancel the service. When it comes down to that, Netflix will be fine.

Craig: Netflix has a pretty obvious challenge. They became what they are, because they were the streaming service. Now they’re many streaming services. It’s not merely that they are competing with the other streaming services. It’s that the other streaming services took the stuff that Netflix was using to make itself into Netflix. That is to say the library of everything. Very famously, Netflix ran all the episodes of Friends, and people would become obsessed and subscrobe. Subscrobe?

John: They subscrobe.

Craig: That ought to be a word. They subscrobe.

John: It totally could be a word.

Craig: They subscrobe to Netflix.

John: We’ll look it up on Google Ngram Viewer, and it’ll show that subscrobe began rising in late 2022.

Craig: They subscrobe, and then of course, Warner Bros pulled Friends away, because HBO Max now has Friends. What does Netflix do? They spend an insane amount of money to essentially invent a library out of thin air. Some of that library is wonderful. I think like anything, lots of it may be preferably not so wonderful.

John: Any of these streamers would kill to have a Stranger Things, to have-

Craig: They do.

John: … Squid Game.

Craig: They do. That’s the thing. They all have something that people love. The trick is they also have passive income from these massive libraries that generate money over time and have so for hundreds of years. No, a hundred years. The biggest issue I think that Netflix is struggling with is they only do one thing. It doesn’t matter if Amazon takes on some water in a particular quarter over Amazon Prime. They’re also selling everything to everyone. They also are hosting 50% of all the world’s websites and etc, etc. HBO Max is part of a larger empire that includes Warner Bros and all sorts of other things. Similarly, Disney Plus is part of a corporation-

John: It’s part of Disney.

Craig: … that has hotels and cruise ships. Basically, everybody has a network, a publishing business, cruise ships, theme parks, all this stuff that has been built over decades, and Netflix doesn’t. If there’s a downswing in streaming, Netflix will suffer disproportionately. That’s just how it goes. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I have no clue, other than to say that I think that Netflix is either going to have to charge more or spend less or both. From my simple layman point of view, I don’t quite understand how they’re supposed to do stuff otherwise.

John: They’re already going to be spending less. They’ve already announced that they’re going to be spending less.

Craig: There you go.

John: Or they’re going to be spending differently. They’re spending probably more on local productions, which probably makes sense for them, because it helps them grow in markets that they want to grow in.

Craig: You mean local to different areas like-

John: Sorry, so local to India, local to-

Craig: India. Local to Korea. Local to, got it.

John: Great. That’s really good for those markets. They are going to have an advertising-supported tier. I don’t get that. I don’t think that necessarily makes sense. They will also probably raise rates at some point. They’ll also crack down on password sharing. I think my takeaway from this is, listen, they’re probably not going to be the giant juggernaut that they were, but they’re also going to be fine. They’re not going to go away tomorrow.

Craig: No, I don’t think they’re going to go away tomorrow, but I do think that at some point Netflix does become a very tasty target for acquisition, only because, look, they have so many people that have subscrobe over time. The issue is, if they are struggling to keep their business model going without a massive and beloved library, but they have this terrific brand presence and loads of subscribers who subscrobe, if I were a streaming service that maybe wanted some of that, I would just snatch it up. Easy to say snatch up Netflix. This is a company that’s worth so much money. It’s worth billions of dollars, as in $50 billion less than it was worth a half a year ago, I think, which is incredible.

John: I think that really gets down to the distinction between what its actual business was and what its imaginary business was.

Craig: There you go.

John: That’s why it was valued, like an Apple or Amazon. That was probably unrealistic. It was unrealistic.

Craig: That is the one area where I never understood, people’s belief in Netflix’s imaginary business. I just never understood it. I read this article. I think it’s really good. I think it comes down to a very simple thing. For all the glitter and smoke, Netflix needs people to subscribe and keep subscribing. That’s it. Simple as that. Nothing else matters. They’re losing subscribers. After last week’s… Let’s see. We had a Q2 earnings report. Netflix was predicted to lose 2 million subscribers, but it only lost 1 million subscribers. That’s still a lot, where everybody else is picking up subscribers. If your big victory is you only lost 1 million, that’s not good. A million subscribers, that’s a lot of people. Jeez, Louise.

John: The other point Megana and I were discussing is that their strategy of all at once releasing and binge releases, that fundamentally does not make sense in a world where you want to keep people subscribing to your service.

Craig: I can only talk about it from a creative point of view. Of course, like anyone, I have binged shows. Of course I have. From a creative point of view, as somebody that makes a show, I would be so bummed out to just dump. They can say binge or whatever. I call it dumping. Just dump the whole thing there. I think also from a creative point of view, a lot of people have started talking about the tyranny of this algorithm and a sense that it’s all a bit synthetic over there. This season of Barry had a great condemnation of the algorithm and the way the algorithm runs things. It’s a bit terrifying.

I’ve talked to other showrunners and writers whose shows have been canceled. Netflix really won’t tell them why, because also Netflix doesn’t show you any numbers. They’ll just show you matrix readouts of little green digits that don’t make any sense. They will show you bar graphs where your viewership is compared to other people’s viewership, but they won’t show you what the other bar graphs represent, which is awesome. I would love to do that. I just would put that on a placard. “You’re this little thing, and these other things are larger bars. What are those bars? Stuff. Anyway, you’re fired.” I don’t know. It’s amazing.

John: I think the real takeaway here is that Netflix is basically the Scriptnotes podcast, the Scriptnotes Premium feed. Just like the Premium feed, we only get money when people continue to subscribe to the Premium feed. We try to keep our churn down. The difference is, while they’ve lost a million subscribers, we grew subscribers month to month, year to year.

Craig: If we lose a million subscribers, I have a huge problem.

John: We’re in real trouble.

Craig: You’re in real trouble, because that means we had a million subscribers. Then we’d really have to talk. John, it’s so weird, over last few years you’ve bought seven houses.

John: It is crazy what that-

Craig: What’s that about?

John: Residuals. Residuals, man.

Craig: It’s residuals.

John: You write a Charlie’s Angels, those residuals keep coming.

Craig: Look, I want to say to all of the people who do listen to us who work at Netflix or people who write for Netflix, I’m not Netflix-bashing.

John: Not at all.

Craig: I want as many healthy employers as possible. Netflix is this 800-pound gorilla. It did essentially invent the modern streaming business. I want it to succeed. I want there to be as many healthy employers as possible. I do think that Netflix has engaged in some not so wonderful practices that have had a deleterious effect on the way writing is done and the way product is made. I certainly don’t want them to die. Hopefully, they can figure this out, right the ship, and perhaps get us back to the practice of encouraging good shows. Taking some risks would be nice, and paying writers more, in a more transparent way, because Netflix also invented the “we’re not telling you how many people watch your show” method.

John: Agreed. Let’s talk about making those shows. Our main topic here came from Matt Byrne, who’s one of my former assistants, who actually is working on a Netflix show for Shondaland.

Craig: Great.

John: It all fits together nicely. Megana, could you read us Matt’s question?

Megana: Matt says, “I’d love an episode on understanding and approaching special/visual effects. I feel like it would be empowering to understand the menu and cost of everything, from adding leaves to treats to change seasons to creating massive scale space battles, empowering both from the earliest stages of writing, knowing what scale you might be able to achieve appropriate to the project, and also when it comes to fighting for or adjusting scenes during all stages of production.”

Craig: Such a good question.

John: Such a good question from such a good writer. Craig, you’ve gone through this a lot I’m sure on your show. Even just in times when you’ve been Zooming, I can see in the background of your shot, oh, that is clearly visual effects things you’re talking about. That is a prop that you’re having to figure out is that entirely digital. Talk to us about, on your show… Maybe start back to as you were starting to write your script for things. How much were you thinking about visual effects? How much did that visual effects thinking change over the course of actually shooting your show?

Craig: You have to think about it constantly. There are certain things that as writers we are free to ignore. We’re free to ignore budget and any of that stuff. It’s probably best that we don’t. We have a general sense that if I say, “Look, I want to shoot this show on a real boat on the water, and I want the boat to be on fire for real, and I want this and this to happen,” you understand this is going to cost a lot of money. It’s going to take a lot of time. It’s going to be difficult. Similarly, we should have a general sense of how visual effects work will impact our budget and the work that’s done.

You’re constantly asking your visual effects supervisor, is this better than doing it practically, meaning for real, or not? By better, we mean will it look better and will it cost less. Those are the big variables, look better, cost less. Sometimes it will look better and cost more. Then you have to make a choice. If they say this will not look good, it will cost a lot but it won’t look good, that’s also something you need to know. When you’re designing sequences, particularly large ones where you know you’re going to be doing world building or putting characters in a position where you’re not simply able to create it, you need to then talk to that person about where there are these landmines that you the layperson might not be aware of. Little things can suddenly jack up the price and make shots very, very complicated.

By and large, if characters are moving in front of something, and whatever that thing is needs to be a visual effect, even if it’s just a building or a sky that looks different, you want them in front of a blue screen, because that helps the visual effects department essentially have nothing but those people. Then they can put other stuff in. If you don’t, now they’ve got Roto, which means going through frame by frame and cutting them out. The expense goes way up. You’re always looking to avoid Roto-ing, if you can.

You are also, as much as possible, encouraged to have real elements from which to build visual effects around. If you’re lighting something on fire, if you have a building that’s burning, you want some real fire. You want to work with the special effects department to create practical fire, even if it’s not engulfing a building, because that would be unsafe, but some controllable fire that gives the visual effects department something to work with like natural light and sourcing. It gives the cinematographer a chance to work with real light as opposed to imagining what digital light would be doing.

All of these questions will inform what you do. At some point you must be ready for people to come to you and say, “We can’t, for the budget we have or the time we have,” or you get to choose this or this. Then you need to make your choices. You can’t get caught in the game of turning into an accountant for your own show. You don’t want to be the guy that just wins the victory for saving the most money. No one cares in the audience. On the other hand, you can’t be someone who doesn’t give a damn, because in the end, you’ll only hurt yourself.

John: I was talking with a showrunner this past week about a project she’s working on. She was talking about how even in the writers’ room she will sometimes be nixing ideas, just saying clearly on a budget level, on a visual effects level, that is going to be an idea that is going to kill us. It’s going to take away too many other options we need to have for the show. Those are hard things to do. It’s only with some experience, having made other things, she could see, okay, that is going to be problematic. I know that it’s going to be too expensive for the value we’re going to get out of it. I want to be able to save money to do this other big thing that is going to be better for the show. Those are tough calls to make. She has some experience, but it’s tougher if you’re a brand new writer who’s never been through that kind of production experience.

Craig: It is. You need to constantly ask questions. It’s probably better to check before you kill something, because there are times where between the art department, which is responsible for building the real sets, and the visual effects department, which was responsible for building things that aren’t there in reality, a solution may occur. Very important to us that we did a shot in Chernobyl where we see this power plant worker emerging from the exploded building to see that he’s actually outside. The roof is gone, and we can see that we’re exposed. He’s walking in front of this stuff. The production department built this environment up to a line. The line was basically where we would see someone moving. The person would never move above that line. Everything above that line gets replaced. At that point, you don’t need a blue screen above there. They can just digitally wipe it out and replace it, because nothing’s moving in front of it.

That concept of set extension is fundamental now to writing. If you can, in your mind, start thinking about creating these large places that don’t exist, but stage the scene in such a way that your real characters are moving in front of real things up to a point, and then the rest is set extension, that may be cost-effective. That may be more doable than you think.

John: The other classic thing you’d see in addition to set extension is when doors are opened, the space beyond that door. You’re on a stage, and so therefore the door is not looking outdoors. You’re putting a green screen, a blue screen behind there to replace that background, the window behind that door, so that the interior stage set actually feels like it’s the real exterior location.

Craig: We do that always.

John: That’s fundamental. Let’s talk about these from the very start decisions about where this show is going to be set, because visual effects is also going to determine what locations you’re going to be picking or even where you’re going to base your show. You based it out of Calgary, presumably because it gave you enough real visual stuff, the things you needed for your show, but you went in knowing that there’s going to be times where we’re going to have to replace backgrounds. We’re going to have to put trees where there aren’t trees. We’re going to have to put mountains where there aren’t mountains. How early on in the conversation or even as you were writing were you thinking about, okay, given what I’m going to have in Calgary, what other choice am I making on the page?

Craig: We were pretty far in on the writing before we landed on shooting in Alberta. Alberta wasn’t informed primarily by the writing. I think it’s good to start with dream. Let’s go ahead and dream our story. Then someone can say, “Look, here’s are the environments we have where we basically get free visual effects.” The Canadian Rockies is free visual effects. They’re amazing. These beautiful landscapes, they’re very… This is where they shot The Revenant. It’s gorgeous. That stuff is incredibly valuable, especially in stretches of your story where you know you’re going to be out there in the wilderness. Now you have wilderness. Where you think, “I’m going to need to create a bombed-out post-apocalyptic city,” those don’t exist. Then it’s simply about finding some locations that you feel gives your characters enough to be standing on and moving through, dressing that around them, and then talking about how the set extensions work from there.

You’re absolutely right. You need to be talking about that from the beginning, because there are things that are easier than other things. As writers, we don’t always know. I can’t tell you how many times I will walk over to our visual effects supervisor, who has been with us since prep, through shooting, and now here in post-production, to say, “Hey, difficult or hard to do this?” Difficult means time and money. He’ll say, “No, that’s easy.” Sometimes he’s like, “That’s actually harder than you would think.” There are times where I’m like, “I did not anticipate that.” You just don’t know. I will tell you that when you’re shooting, so many people who are invested in keeping the day moving will say to you, “We can fix that with visual effects.” They can do that. They can erase that. They can do this. They can do that. Then I’ll turn to our supervisor and say, “I’m being told that that’s easy.” He’ll go, “Ah… ” I’m like, “Okay, it’s not. Let’s fix it now.” Try and fix as much as you can now.

I think we should have a visual effects supervisor come on our show, and we should talk through the fundamentals of how visual effects are done, not the exciting stuff like spaceships blowing up, which is actually easy, but the really boring stuff, the stuff that basically you don’t know is happening, the invisible stuff. That’s really important for us as writers to know about.

John: On a show like yours, is the visual effects supervisor the person who’s also deciding, “We’re going to do a practical and we’re going to supplement it,” or is there a second… Who is responsible for getting the people together to talk over where this is going to split? Is it the director? Is it the line producer? Who’s involved with that conversation?

Craig: Everyone. The director, the showrunner of course, the physical producer, the visual effects supervisor, the visual effects producer, who’s handling the budgeting for all that and then the bidding, and the art department. Very important that the art department, the production designer is working hand in hand with the visual effects people, because that’s where digital and reality meet, and trying to figure out where the line is and what the best way of skinning the particular cat is. Everybody comes together and agrees we want to do this thing, but there are times…

Early on, there was a sequence that Neil and I were talking about, and it just became outrageously expensive to do and wasn’t necessarily… The part that was expensive wasn’t the part that we loved. Those are great targets for re-conceiving. Just do it in a different way, because we’re not going to get massive amounts of love and adoration for the fact that, I don’t know, whatever it is is happening in the background. It’s not important. It comes down to creative judgments. The creative judgments are set against the backdrop of what things will cost and how hard they’re going to be, just like everything else that we do. Knowing your options, crucial.

John: Let’s move on to our second topic. This is a listener question. Megana, can you set us up?

Megana: Travis wrote in and asked about optioning a novel. He says, “The novel is an old bestseller from a well-known writer, but one of their minor works. After weeks of back and forth with the author’s publisher, then being forwarded to their agent, I’ve learned that the rights are available. However, in my last email from the agent, they simply said, ‘We’ll look forward to hearing more about your interest.’ Now I’m feeling a bit naïve. I just assumed they would give me their terms and I could take it or leave it. Do they want me to present an offer? It is extremely amateur for me to ask if they have a standard agreement or what their asking terms would be for an option? Should I contact an entertainment attorney and get them to draft a proposal? To further complicate things, I’m currently in the process of signing with a manager. Should I wait until that is finalized and get the management team on board for the option?”

Craig: Why would you ever talk to an attorney about something as complicated as this?

John: As optioning. Craig, have you ever optioned a book?

Craig: No.

John: I have optioned one book. It was a good experience. Ken Richman, my attorney, ended up doing the option agreement. The short version of it is I read this book, I loved it, I reached out to the author. No one else was chasing the rights at this point. I said, “Hey, could I option this? I’m not sure I can get this set up, but I think I would love to try.” He said, “Sure.” It was a very low-cost option, a couple thousand dollars for 18 months or beyond. I never ended up doing anything with it. I let the option lapse. Still friendly with the author. It was my first time optioning a thing. I’m not sure I should’ve optioned it. I want to talk about what options are, but also what options are for somebody like Travis.

Craig: First let’s just say we’ve talked about options before, which is essentially you control the ability to make a movie or to essentially turn one thing into another, adapt the work into another work. You control that for a certain amount of time. Nobody else can turn that novel into something.

John: It gives you the option to buy out the rights to something. Rather than paying the full purchase price, you’re getting a hold on those rights for a period of time.

Craig: Exactly.

John: Eighteen months is common, but it could be a different amount of time.

Craig: I’m going to give you $500 for the right to buy your car within the next 6 months. If I don’t buy the car within the next 6 months, you’ve made $500.

John: The right to buy the car for a specific price.

Craig: That’s right.

John: That’s really crucial too.

Craig: Exactly. I’m going to give you 500 now. Within the next 6 months, if I give you 5,000, then your 1999 Toyota Tercel is mine. By the way, do not spend that much money on a ’99 Tercel.

John: Although in this car market these days, it’s all crazy.

Craig: I will say, Travis, you’ve answered your own question. First of all, certainly when they say, “We’ll look forward to hearing more about your interest,” what they’re saying is, “What are you talking about here, buddy? How much money you want to give us?” Why would they give you a term. Oh, no no no no no. No no no no no no no. You tell me. What do you want? You called me. How bad do you want this thing? That’s what they’re wondering is… If you are super interested in this and you have a lot of money, you take the first shot.

What that means, of course, is that you’re already outclassed, because that’s a business, and you’re not. Yes, you need an attorney now. Anything you say at this point they could turn into a warrant of something important. You’re not warranting anything. You’re just trying to find out what this costs. You need an attorney to do all your talking for you. Ideally, that attorney would have a decent sense of what these things generally option for based on market comps. Your manager may also have a sense of that. I don’t think you need to wait for a manager necessarily. I also don’t think that you need to option this at all.

John: I don’t think you do either. Let’s talk through a little bit more options and then get into why Travis probably shouldn’t be optioning this. Whenever you’re setting up an option, what your attorney will be looking to do is set up what are the terms of the option agreement, how long does it go, is it renewable, which is crucial, can you keep renewing it at the same price, keep that option going, what the price is for the option, it could be a dollar classically or it could be a lot more than that, what the final purchase price will be. That might be contingent on what the budget for the actual movie or TV show is. Three percent is common, but it could be a big range. I think the one I optioned, it was 3% of the budget. What rights are you optioning? Is it just the film rights? Is it the TV rights? Is it stage rights? Is it everything? You’ve got to be specific about that.

This is also crucial, as someone who’s had books where people tried to option. Does the author have any controls? Does the author control anything over casting or director approval or script approval? Those are things that are going to be in this first option agreement. That’s why you’d have an attorney do this, if you were to try to option this book, which I think we’re both saying you probably shouldn’t.

Craig: I don’t see what the great value is here. It doesn’t sound like it’s something that a lot of people are chasing. If you write a script that other people are interested in purchasing, if it’s a studio, and you say, “Look, it’s based on this novel, and the rights are available,” then the studio will be like, “Oh, okay, we’ll just go get those,” because they’re going to have to get them from you anyway. You wouldn’t lose any leverage, because they’d still want your script.

John: Two choices Travis has here. He could go back to them and say, “Fantastic to hear. As I sit down with other producers, I’d like to bring this up as a thing I really would very much want to write.” That is an indication, “Hey, don’t be shopping this to other people.” As I go in and have my general meetings at places, there’s always this thing like, “Hey, what do you want to write? What are you interested in?” I can say, “There’s this book that I really love. I’ve talked to the author, and the rights are available. Here’s how I’d do it.” You get someone else to buy the rights for you. That’s a possibility. Could they swoop in? We’ve had other listeners on the show who have said, “I mentioned this book, and someone else bought it and scooped it out from under me.” Could that happen to Travis?

Craig: Yeah, it could.

John: Yeah, it could. It could. Absolutely.

Craig: It could, but I don’t think that… Let’s say you option this thing for a standard term, which is about a year and a half. It’s pretty typical. If you don’t sell this within a year and a half, and somebody else wants to do it, then they’ll just sell it to that other person. The odds of you going from no script to something in a year and a half is not strong.

John: Travis could also decide to write this script based on this book without controlling the underlying rights. That’s risky, but it does happen. That script will at least be a writing sample for Travis that he can show out on the town if he doesn’t control the underlying book. Maybe it turns out great, and somebody wants to buy the script and the book. They can do it. It just becomes a much harder thing to set up and sell that way, just because the rights holder is going to say, “Great. You bought that script, and you want the rights to this book? Great, now they cost $5 million.” They can hold things hostage.

Craig: I agree. I think you probably don’t need to get this deep into it. First start writing and see if you even want to do it. That’s the other thing. You haven’t written anything yet, so who even knows?

John: We have a follow-up question here from Hannah that I think ties in well.

Megana: Hannah from Minneapolis asks, “For loose adaptations like 10 Things I Hate About You and Taming of the Shrew or Clueless and Emma, do you need to obtain rights for the source material? I’m thinking no exact lines or character names, but modernized versions of the characters and plot. The book I have in mind was written in 1920 and is not in the public domain.”

Craig: Hold on. She switcheroo’ed us there.

John: She did.

Craig: You started with a thing that was in the public domain, a thing that was in the public domain, a thing that was in the public domain. If it’s in the public domain, you don’t have to worry about it. If it’s written in 1920 and it’s not in the public domain, then you do.

John: It could be simpler. To say loose adaptations, strict adaptations, for things in public domain, you could do a very direct adaptation. You don’t have to worry about any of that stuff. Just do what you want to do. If it’s in the public domain, it’s in the public domain. It is free for you to use. This book that she’s thinking about that was written in 1920, that’s not in the public domain, it’s going to be in the public domain really soon. It’s not going to be forever before it becomes public domain. If it’s not public domain now and you want to be working on it, I’d think about what is it about that book that is appealing to you and is there a way you can do something that is like that but is not directly based on it, because you probably can. Just don’t take it directly.

Craig: No exact lines or character names is not necessarily going to save you from copyright infringement. The question that will be asked is would the people who do control the rights to that book, I assume an estate, would they recognize in your work that you have adapted their work? One of the rights that copyright infers is a right to make derivative works, including adaptations. If it’s recognizable as an adaptation, you got a problem, because clearly you’re pulling more than just an idea. If it’s not recognizable as an adaptation, then I guess the question is really are you adapting the book at all.

I think John’s making an excellent point. The book was written in 1920. Odds are, unless the book was written by a seven-year-old, that this is going to be in public domain soon enough, because public domain essentially is conferred by a particular period of time after the death of the author. I don’t know which book it is. Generally speaking, when you’re getting back into 1920, you’re talking about 100 years ago, see how you do.

John: The F. Scott Fitzgerald books are becoming public domain now.

Craig: Agatha Christie books are going to start going to the public domain. There’s already the very first one. I think a few more will be following.

John: This is also the point in the podcast where we remind people that our copyright laws and our extensions of copyright laws are bullshit. Things should be public domain much sooner than they currently are.

Craig: They are constantly changing. Basically, every time Mickey Mouse approaches public domain status, the copyright in the United States seems to get extended again.

John: Kick that can. Maybe we’ll just let Mickey Mouse just have eternal copyright and let everything else go. I don’t care about Mickey Mouse. Fine.

Craig: I don’t care either. I don’t even think Disney cares. At this point they’re like, “Whatever. Whatever.”

John: We have one short question here on shorts. Megana, do you want to take this one?

Megana: Leah wrote in and said, “I’m a filmmaker who lives and works in Los Angeles. I’ve been fortunate enough to find a financier to fund a few short films of mine. I love making short films. They’re fun, rewarding, and meaningful. Most importantly, my cast and crew are paid decently. I’m using short films as a way to hone my skills as writer/director/editor and as a calling card for features. When I get more established in the feature and TV world, I don’t ever see myself not doing short films. I’m astounded by how many directors and writers who have, quote, ‘made it’ don’t make short films. At a certain point, is filmmaking a job instead of art? Is asking a director or writer to do a short film the equivalent of asking an off-duty dishwasher to do the dishes? In essence, why am I not seeing more short films from P.T. Anderson, Greta Gerwig, or Debra Granik?

Craig: Because they don’t want to do them. Just a wild guess.

John: My first instinct is because they don’t have to make them, so they’re not making them. Then I think about maybe it’s just no one’s asking them to make them. When I think of filmmakers who actually do shorts, they’re usually for a purpose, like New Yorkers asking Wes Anderson to make a short film about something.

Craig: An ad, usually.

John: Basically an ad. That’s the thing is advertising videos, other stuff like that become the equivalent of short films. That’s why big directors will do those rather than do a narrative short film that is just a reason to make it. I think it’s because, at least in the US, there’s not really a market for short films, there’s not really a purpose for short films, other than as calling cards. Once someone has made it, they don’t feel the urgent need to make a calling card.

Craig: Ultimately, when filmmakers make films, they are looking for an audience. There isn’t a tremendous audience, at least in the US, for short films. People don’t necessarily seek them out. It may be fun, rewarding, and meaningful to you, the filmmaker, Leah, but they don’t seem to be fun, rewarding, and meaningful to most of the audience. It’s just a fact. People just don’t go seeking them out. They don’t love them. They tend to like episodes of television which are… Certainly half-hours are like many short films. Or they like full features. That’s what they prefer. That is also how most of us were raised culturally. That’s how most of us think, including P.T. Anderson, Greta Gerwig, and Debra Granik. I think your premise is that everybody loves them, so why aren’t we making more of them, and I dispute your premise. I think you do, which is wonderful.

John: That’s great.

Craig: I think you should keep doing it. That’s fantastic. When you say, “I’m astounded by how many directors and writers who have, quote, ‘made it’ don’t do short films,” you mean like almost all of us? At that point you should not be astounded. At that point you should just think, “I’m into something that’s sort of niche,” because that’s what it is. John and I don’t do short films. Also, a lot of writers don’t write in that format. If you’re a non-writing director, there’s also just a lot less material out there for you.

John: Craig, I’ve done two short films.

Craig: What?

John: I’m actually really proud of both of them.

Craig: Which ones?

John: I did God, which was my initial thing with Melissa McCarthy.

Craig: I thought that was The Nines.

John: No. God is the short film I did before Go, with Melissa McCarthy.

Craig: Pre-Go.

John: That set up Melissa McCarthy. Incredibly helpful for me. It was a calling card, really useful for that.

Craig: Was that when you were in school?

John: We’d shot Go. It hadn’t come out yet. I used the short ends of film left over from Go to shoot the short film with Melissa McCarthy, who was delightful.

Craig: It was called God?

John: It’s called God. You’ve never seen God?

Craig: I love the fact that you made Go, and then you were like, “I have some extra film and the letter D.”

John: “I will add it on there.” Craig, after this, literally, you have to watch it, because I think you’ll find it delightful.

Craig: I will.

John: It’s literally the first time you’re going to see Melissa McCarthy on film.

Craig: God.

John: God.

Craig: God, writing it down.

John: You will understand me better after watching this short film. I made a short film during the 2008 writers’ strike, which was a premise pilot for a series we never ended up shooting. It’s a short film, but it’s also a pilot.

Craig: It’s a pilot.

John: It’s a pilot. It’s a web series pilot. I’m also reminded, back on Episode 287, my One Cool Thing was this short film called Vale done by Alejandro Amenabar. I thought, “Wow, I don’t understand why this short film exists with Dakota Johnson, but it’s just absolutely delightful.” Then a listener pointed out, “No, it’s actually an ad for the beer they’re drinking in the short film.”

Craig: Bingo. There’s been quite a few of those. Martin Scorsese has made one. Every now and then BMW will hire some wonderful filmmaker to make a 20-minute thing. Anyway, point being, Leah, keep doing what you love. That’s important.

John: 100%.

Craig: The fact that you’ve been able to find financing for it is wonderful. I’m hoping that there is, even if it’s not a massive audience, it is a dedicated audience to your films, but I don’t think your premise that other people are somehow missing out on something wonderful is correct. If you love that, you do it. If other filmmakers don’t, they do what they do.

John: Exactly. It has come time for our One Cool Things. I have two One Cool Things. First off, for screenwriters, if you listen to this podcast and enjoy people talking about screenwriting, you’ll probably enjoy Jonathan Stokes’s little video series called Raising the Stakes, where he talks about stakes in movies. The series of videos is about different themes on stakes in screenwriting things. Take a look at them. They’re delightful. They’re on YouTube. If you’re a person who plays video games, which is a lot of people who listen to the podcast, you might enjoy Stray. Have you heard of Stray?

Craig: I have.

John: I’ve been playing it. I think it’s just delightful. In it, you are a stray cat who is wandering through this post-apocalyptic, empty city. You’re just a cat. You can do cat things. You can’t talk, can’t do anything else. You can scratch against trees. It does a really good job with the controller and using the rumble in the controller and also the speaker, to really make it feel like you’re doing the things that you’re doing, which I was impressed by. I just really like it. I also like that the cat cannot miss jumps. If it looks like you can jump on it, you can jump on it. If you fall, it’s because there’s a narrative reason why you’re supposed to fall. Cats are really good at jumping and landing. It just has perfect jumping.

Craig: I’ve been looking at that one. I think I might grab that myself. I’ve been playing Cyberpunk 2077, a game that I purchased when it came out, played for about one day, and went, “WTF this POS.”

John: So broken?

Craig: It was so broken. The very first quest line just wouldn’t function for me. I was like, “I guess I’m stuck.” A guy I follow on Twitter named Hutch, who’s a big professional gamer, was mentioning that he’s been playing it lately and that it’s way better than he thought it was based on all that, the disastrous launch. I was like, “All right, Hutch, I’ll go back in.” I’m playing it on a PS5. It is fixed. There’s been a few glitches. I’m not going to lie. There’s been a few moments where I’m like, “Oh, come on,” and yet still it’s been a lot of fun. I’m about halfway through the main line. It’s a lot of fun. Tip of the hat.

John: Great.

Craig: It started so poorly for me way back when, but I’m enjoying Cyberpunk now. That’s not my One Cool Thing. My One Cool Thing was actually sent to us on Twitter by a guy named Daniel Green, @dgreenmusic. It’s not a new thing. It’s an older video from 2017, which seems like it was yesterday but in fact was five years ago. It is a video called How to Make a Blockbuster Movie Trailer. It’s fantastic.

John: It’s really good. I think we have discussed it. I think it’s worth a rewatch because it’s really, really good.

Craig: It’s so good. It just nails every single moment. Why I think it’s important to actually watch this thing is to see behind the curtain and realize how easy it is to manipulate us and also how strange it is that we don’t immediately notice how repetitive and imitative these trailers are to each other.

John: I think it’s terrific. By the way, Craig, you know Dan Green, because Dan Green was your accompanist at the New York live show.

Craig: Oh, that Dan Green.

John: That’s Dan Green.

Craig: He’s wonderful. Thank you, Dan Green. Thank you for being my accompanist when I sang on Broadway. That’s a very, very stretchy fact. I was on a Broadway stage, not in a Broadway musical. I did sing. Dan was my accompanist. He’s wonderful. I remember he had just gotten married, I think.

John: He’s still happily married.

Craig: Fantastic.

John: They have a kid.

Craig: Wonderful.

John: He’s running some half-marathons. We’re proud of Dan. Love it.

Craig: Thank you very much for sending that in, Dan. That’s great.

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Craig: You know it.

John: Our outro this week is by Adam Pineless. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin, I’m @johnaugust. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weeklyish newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies, and they’re terrific. You can find them at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a Premium Member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all of the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the one we’re about to record on nightmares. Craig, Megana, thank you for a fun show.

Craig: Thank you.

Megana: Thank you.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Craig, do you suffer from nightmares?

Craig: Suffer is a strong word, but I certainly have them.

John: You encounter them. Megana, are you a nightmare person?

Megana: Oh yeah.

John: Are you a nightmare person.

Craig: Megana is such a nightmare person.

John: A nightmare person.

Megana: On all levels, I’m a nightmare person.

John: Megana, I’m guessing you do have nightmares, because you are the most easily startled person I’ve ever met in my life. I think they’re probably related.

Craig: Megana is really easily startled.

Megana: Yeah, I am. It happens in my sleep too.

John: Not good. Are there circumstances that you can trace back to, “Oh, I’m having nightmares because of X, Y, or Z,” or is it just random for you?

Craig: Why do I feel like this is definitely a robot trying to learn about human behavior? “Tell me about these nightmares.”

John: “Tell me about feelings.”

Craig: “How do they function?”

Megana: I think that’s what’s so unsettling about it is that they just come out of nowhere. Sometimes I’ll be feeling really good about things, and then I’ll have this horrible nightmare. Sometimes I have really realistic where I’m having conversations with people that go terribly, and then I wake up and I’m so mad and upset at them. It was a total lie. Do you guys experience that?

John: I absolutely do. I’m a very vivid dreamer. I feel like probably my time in dreams is much longer than my time awake. I feel like I have whole other lifetimes in dreams, in an Inception way. Luckily, very rarely do dreams because actually scary nightmare situations. They can be annoying dreams, but I rarely get things where I’m scared for my life.

Craig: As life goes on, I feel like I either have fewer nightmares, or when I have them, I have a general sense of… It’s not that I’m fully aware that I’m dreaming, but I know it’s not real, whereas when I was a kid I would have nightmares all the time. They were very vivid. I believed them. They were terrifying. I would even have repeat nightmares where it was the same one. As I was in it, I knew that the bad thing was going to happen. Happy that I’m out of that. I think in part it’s a function of a vivid imagination and a mind that has just creative… I think creative minds come up with really interesting and terrifying nightmares.

John: I’m always surprised in dreams how complicated and how thought out they are. Sometimes they feel plotted in a way. Dreaming is your brain doing its maintenance cycle. It’s cleaning out all this stuff. It’s rewiring things so that you’re trying to create logic that isn’t necessarily going to be there. I am struck when it does feel like it has a story and a plot and things are moving forward in ways that would happen in real life.

Craig: Megana, are your dreams incredibly thorough and complicated?

Megana: Yeah. Then sometimes I’m like, “Damn, I just wrote a movie in my head.” Then I try to write it out, and I’m like, “Oh, this is garbage.”

Craig: Garbage. It’s another garbage movie from a nightmare person.

John: Getting back to scary things happening at night, have either of you had sleep paralysis, where you wake up but you cannot move?

Craig: I have not.

John: I’ve had it.

Megana: I have had it a couple of times.

John: My experience was it was the absolute scariest thing, much scarier than a scary dream, because it will generally happen if I take a nap, because I’m not generally a napper. I kind of wake up, but I don’t fully wake up. Then I cannot move any part of my body. I’m aware of some dark force is usually just beyond where my feet would be. I can sometimes see the thing. I could feel it. I cannot move. I cannot speak. Eventually, I’ll be able to get some sort of gurgling scream out and Mike will wake me up.

Craig: Gurgling scream.

John: It really does feel like you’re just trying to force the thing out and you cannot do it.

Craig: Wow. You’re lucky you’re not married to me, because I would just watch you. I would see gurgly screams, and I would just be like, “Interesting.” Like Christopher Guest in Princess Bride. “Fascinating.”

John: Recording starting on a phone, videotaping the whole thing.

Craig: “You seem to be caught in a nightmare.”

John: Megana, was your experience of sleep paralysis at all the same?

Megana: Yes, that feeling of trying so hard to scream or to move, and then also just the feeling that there was someone else in the room that I couldn’t see, but they were just right out of the corner of my eye, and I’m trying to look for them.

Craig: That’s me.

Megana: Just recording us screaming.

Craig: That’s me watching.

John: What I’ve read, and I think last time it happened it was successful, is the only way out of it is you have to relax out of it, and eventually you will fall back asleep and your body will come back out of it. It’s really tough to chill out when you feel like that.

Craig: I had a nightmare last week. I will spare you the details, because as we all know, nothing’s more boring than hearing somebody describe their dream. There was one moment that encapsulated my fear. It was a dream where I was driving, and it turned into a car crash. I was driving, for whatever reason, I understood that I was, A, drunk, B, driving backwards, and C, the car was turning towards the right, but my eyes could only look to the left. I understood I was going to crash at some point, but I didn’t know when that point was. That was the scariest thing of all, just not knowing. Then the crash happened. I was fine. I woke up. It was no big deal.

John: A common thing for me is that I do wake up right before the actual injury would happen. I never feel the actual impact of it. I wake up in that, so I’m not feeling the actual pain.

Craig: This whole dream thing, it’s really weird, the concept of it. It’s bizarre. Just our bad brains barfing out neural crap.

John: As I look at my dog sleeping here, he has dreams too.

Craig: Of course.

John: I see him chasing and barking.

Craig: So cute. Little twitches.

Megana: I also had a question for you guys, because I had had a nightmare, and then I was trying to talk myself down in the middle of the night. I was like, “Okay, self-soothe.” I was like, “How did my parents help me deal with this?” Maybe this is why I’m so bad at dealing with nightmares, because it was awful. My dad would sit me down, and he would be like, “Megana, think about logic.”

Craig: Oh, Dr. Rao. You know what I would do? My daughter would have the full-on night terrors when she was young.

John: Night terrors where she wakes up screaming and [inaudible 00:59:31].

Craig: What would happen is she would walk out. I was staying up late working. She would come on out of her room. She was in tears. I would understand, okay, she had a terrible nightmare. First of all, I would make her go pee, because that’s 90% of it. I would put her back to bed. I would make sure to spray my anti-monster spray, which is the opposite of what Dr. Rao did. What Dr. Rao did was just deny your feelings, just invalidate your experience completely, and not help you at all.

John: Craig, where do you get the anti-monster spray?

Craig: I would tell her that it was quite expensive and it was precious, and I had to keep it hidden and safe, just so that it was always there. Of course, she understood there was no monster spray, just as she understood there was no monsters. Nonetheless, again, unlike Dr. Rao…

John: You were validating her feelings.

Craig: Validation and soothing. I would say, Megana, what you ought to do next time you wake up from a nightmare is just spray some anti-monster spray around you.

Megana: Maybe I’ll do that, get some lavender aromatherapy spray or something.

Craig: No no no no no no no. You don’t understand. You hold an imaginary thing in your hand and you shh. That’s how you do it. I don’t understand what you thought… The lavender was not going to work. You need monster spray.

Megana: I see. You weren’t even holding anything.

Craig: Lord, no. If I had been holding something, she would’ve been like, “That’s not going to work.” You need to understand that there’s something supernatural in my hand that’s going to work, and therefore it must be invisible.

Megana: I see. I see.

Craig: God, you’re a nightmare person.

John: Thank you both.

Craig: Thanks.

John: Bye.

Megana: Bye.

Craig: Bye.

Links:

  • Craig went to Comic Con 2022 to Moderate a Mythic Quest Panel
  • Will Netflix be Alright? by Dave Karpf
  • God John’s 1998 short film
  • Stray Annapurna videogame
  • Raising the Stakes videos
  • How to Make a Blockbuster Trailer
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Twitter
  • John August on Twitter
  • John on Instagram
  • Outro by Adam Pineless (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 561: Why Now? Transcript

August 15, 2022 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2022/why-now).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** This is Episode 561 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show, why now? We’ll ask the question every development executive asks at your second meeting and why writers need to think about it in their own work. We’ll also talk about reversals and answer a bunch of follow-up.

**Craig:** In our Bonus Segment for Premium Members, we’ll discuss when to engage with stupid people and when to just ignore them.

**John:** That is crucial advice.

**Craig:** I have thoughts.

**John:** You have thoughts.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** Also, our Premium Members, we should say we sometimes send out emails to Premium Members, and one of the emails that Premium Members will be getting pretty soon is about upcoming live shows.

**Craig:** Live shows are back.

**John:** If you would like that information about when those live shows are coming out and how to get those first tickets, it’d be great to be a Premium Member. Little tip there that those people are going to get the first notice. The venues are not huge, so they could sell out.

**Craig:** Just remind people, because it’s been a while. We are the Jon Bon Jovi of podcasts. We sell out stadiums. You people, take heed.

**John:** That’s so interesting, Craig, that now we are the Jon Bon Jovi of podcasts, but we used to just be the Bon Jovi, like Bon Jovi the band. Now it’s come down to the singular-

**Craig:** I feel like people are showing up for Jon Bon Jovi. No offense to the other guys. We are the Jon Bon Jovi. I’m changing it. Hey listen, man, the pandemic happened.

**John:** It did.

**Craig:** Changes had to be made. Simple as that.

**John:** Our world shrunk a little bit during that time, and we really focused on the individual rather than the group. I get it.

**Craig:** We’re the Jon Bon Jovi of podcasts.

**John:** Very nice. A much less fun topic to start off our show this week is abortion and abortion rights and abortion access. Two pieces of news to talk about as related to writers. First off, the WGA Health Plan announced this week that they will be covering travel for abortion-related expenses. If you are a person who is working, a WGA member who’s working in a state the restricts abortion, and you need to have an abortion or someone who’s on your health plan needs to have an abortion, the WGA Health Plan will reimburse the travel expenses for getting you to a state where you can have an abortion.

**Craig:** This is becoming fairly common for a number of businesses as well. What do we do? We can’t pat ourselves on the back for doing this, because we’re all soaking in the shame and stupidity of what has happened. At a minimum, our health plan is doing what they can. Personally, I think we got to get out of any place that is banning abortion, because it’s gross. You have to plant your flag somehow. We just can’t keep doing business with these places.

**John:** That’s a nice segue to the other thing that happened this last two weeks was that first a group of 400 mostly female showrunners signed a letter to the studio saying, “Hey, we are demanding answers for how you’re going to handle production in states that are outlawing abortion,” and asking for specific guidance on what they were going to do to address the problem. Another 600 or more showrunners, including you and I, signed onto a follow-up statement saying yes, we really do need these answers. As we record this, we don’t know what the individual plans are going to be for different studios. The WGA can talk about its members, but the writer is one or five people on a production. Productions have hundreds of people who are all facing the same problems. We need to have a bigger conversation about how we’re going to handle these situations when they occur on sets that are shooting in Georgia or some other state that could restrict abortion.

**Craig:** I think it’s probably best for us to say that while abortion immediately impacts people with a uterus, abortion fully impacts everyone.

**John:** Of course.

**Craig:** That’s why ultimately so much of what was happening… A lot of women in our business came together and raised a lot of money and did a lot of work on this behalf. Aline Brosh McKenna, the Joan Rivers of our podcast, was key in that, and then a lot of guys. They asked. They said, “Guys, step up, because this is about all of us.” It’s true. I don’t think anyone thinks that, for instance, breast cancer is a problem that guys don’t have to think about. I had to think about it quite a bit when my wife had it. It impacts everyone’s life. Prostate cancer impacts everyone’s life. This is something that is about our human nature and about the people that we are and the people we love.

I’m not comfortable going to a state where the legislature has decided to be cruel and stupid. You have to put your foot down somehow. You just do. This is crazy. We’ll keep raising money for abortion, by the way, not for choice, because I hate that word. For abortion, which is an excellent and necessary health procedure that saves lives and preserves the rights of individuals. We will try and do what we can as individuals in our business to advocate getting away from people who don’t see it that way.

**John:** Obviously, we’re going to continue to follow the story. We should have answers back from what the different studio’s plans are for this, not only in dealing with travel situations if those need to come up but also the privacy implications of this. It’s weird that you’re going to have to tell your employer specifically why you need to do X, Y, or Z. That just doesn’t feel right in the situation that we’re in right now. To be determined how it all sorts out.

**Craig:** Just crazy.

**John:** Let’s go to a less dire topic. Let’s talk about Netflix and Stranger Things. This was an article that was a nonevent. In the Stranger Things canon, I guess a character’s birthday had been set at one date, and years later they moved it to a different date. They went back and retroactively changed a line in an earlier episode to make it match, which has echoes of Lizzo changing a lyric or Beyonce changing a lyric, realizing that there was an ableist slur in there. That feels innocuous. At what point do we say no, this art is finished and we should just leave it as it is?

**Craig:** It is innocuous. I think it reflects the way that people absorb culture now, which is all as a piece. They like to pick it apart, especially things that they obsess over like Stranger Things. You mentioned the word canon. Canon used to be preserved for literary works and religion and classical music. Now it applies to television shows. It’s clear that people take all this very seriously.

I’ll give you an example that I was involved in. On Mythic Quest, I wrote the episode called Backstory, where we learn the backstory of F. Murray Abraham’s character. We go back in time. There is this big deal that had been made. In the first season he kept boasting about his Nebula Award. In the episode I wrote, we see how he came to get that Nebula Award. There was a photograph in the first season of him winning the Nebula Award. They just took a shot of young F. Murray and PhotoShopped it in. Josh Brener wonderfully played young F. Murray Abraham in Backstory. They went back and they changed the photo in the first season, which I thought was completely innocuous and fine. It just didn’t seem like somebody was making the smile on Mona Lisa a little bit bigger.

Little things like that for consistency I think are actually fan service and show a little bit of respect to people, because sometimes stuff happens. The last thing you want to do is say, “Oh my god, we can’t do this storyline, because some dumb picture was… ” It doesn’t work that way. We have to call it as we see it. Very famously, Spielberg took the guns out of ET.

**John:** ET, yeah.

**Craig:** Replaced them with walkie-talkies. I don’t agree with that. That feels like a very different kind of thing.

**John:** Let’s pull it apart, because I was also thinking about that. In both cases, it is the creator of the actual work itself going back and saying, “I think that the choice they made at that point wasn’t the right choice.” It feels like a Lizzo or Beyonce changing the lyric more than a studio coming in and sanitizing it. Tell me about why you think that’s a bigger change.

**Craig:** Beyonce and Lizzo were not aware that a particular word was offensive to a lot of people. The song came out, and people went, “Hey!” They were like, “Oh, okay, didn’t know. I’ll take the L, and I’ll go back in there, and I’ll change it.” It was immediate. It was essentially immediate feedback, which again is a modern cultural phenomenon.

**John:** It’s like they had an edit tweet button. They could just go through.

**Craig:** Basically. It’s the cultural version of the seven-second delay where you get an oopsie. We never had that kind of feedback loop before, so this is a new phenomenon. In the case of ET, decades, I think, after ET came out, Spielberg made the choice to say, “You know what? My opinion about things has changed. I’m going to go back in and do this.” The issue is it had been out there for so long in that way, and it’d been seen so many times in that way that it felt a little pointless, because ET is beloved. If nobody cared about ET, it wouldn’t have mattered. It was beloved. It was studied. That change was not to do fan service. That change was not to coordinate the canon. That change was simply because he had an opinion about something. It just didn’t feel very good or reasonable. Similarly, the decades later, “Oh, now I have the money to do that the way I really wanted to do it,” Lucas style adjustments. I just find you could it, it’s your movie, but I don’t think anybody was applauding it. Anyone.

**John:** In both these cases, with ET and with Star Wars, the question of ownership becomes a little bit more forefront, because at a certain point, yes, they are the creators of the original work, but they feel like they’re owned by culture in general. We all own Star Wars. We all own ET. It feels like a bigger violation to make a change to a thing we feel like, “Oh no, I already have this in my house. This is a thing I own, and you now are changing it.” Maybe that’s what it comes down to.

**Craig:** This, by the way, is why I’m not a huge fan of director’s cuts or other things like that, because even though on occasion the director’s cut is vastly better than the movie that existed otherwise, usually when the studio has chopped it up completely, and so you never really did see the movie at all, but most of the time it’s like, “Oh, we threw back in a bunch of crap that we cut out.” There’s stuff that we cut out of Chernobyl that I really liked, but it just didn’t ultimately fit. We were better off without it. I’m not putting that stuff out there as an extended edition or any of that stuff, because the show that I did is the show I did. That’s the one people watch. That’s it. You get one show.

**John:** Last bit of news to talk through, this is happening right as we’re recording, so we don’t know all the details. Batgirl, which was a $70 million Warner Bros movie, was announced it is never going to come out to be released.

**Craig:** Ever.

**John:** It’s not going to release on HBO Max. It’s not going to release in theaters. I cannot think of another example of a movie with that kind of budget that has just been killed in post-production. It’s already shot. It’s already done. It’s a big move to not release it.

**Craig:** It’s pretty crazy. Obviously, people can take a look at the way movies are made and make an argument that we’ve spent, let’s say, I don’t know, what have they spent on this thing?

**John:** 70 they said.

**Craig:** $70 million has been spent. It’s easy to say, oh my god, just put it on fricking HBO Max and forget about it, but do get something out of it. The issue is it’s probably not done. There’s probably more work to be done. Then there’s marketing. Obviously, if they wanted to put it on streaming, they wouldn’t have to deal with the expense of a theatrical release. It seems like there’s this weird financial thing going on based on the merger and stuff before August 15th. Do you know I know less about accounting than basically anything else?

**John:** Thank you for saying that, because I really don’t understand accounting.

**Craig:** Nothing.

**John:** Or cost-based accounting or depreciation. Right over my head. I can do a lot of mathy kind of stuff, but I don’t get that.

**Craig:** The term write-off, I’m 80% on it. I think it means that they just say it’s a business expense that we can then, as a loss, discount from the taxable income or something. When they say these things like the books, like when they talk in movies like, “Oh, there were two sets of books,” I’m like, what does that mean? I really don’t know what… Megana, are you better at accounting than we are? I hope you are, because we don’t know anything.

**Megana Rao:** Oh my god, I tried to do math in the office, and we left it on the whiteboard for a while.

**Craig:** The whiteboard of shame?

**Megana:** Yeah, so absolutely not.

**Craig:** Wow. No one should be hiring the Scriptnotes gang to do their books. I don’t even understand what a book is. All I can say is this is pretty nuts. I don’t recall anything like this in all my time in Hollywood, where an entire… By the way, John, you and I both, I know this for a fact, have been asked to work on movies that are in post-production that are so bad that I have said at least three different times on films that have come out that they should not have come out. I have said three different times, “Don’t pay me. Don’t hire me to do anything. Take this and just put it away.” They didn’t. They spent more money, and they put it out there. In each of those cases, they would’ve been far better off financially by putting it away. I guess in this case, this feels more like a merger thing. I just don’t understand it.

**John:** We don’t know if the film is good or bad. We just know that they’ve decided not to release it. It could have relations to other things in the DC universe. We don’t know. I feel bad for the writers, directors, everyone who worked on that movie for a year, because yes, you got paid for working on a movie, which is great, but to not have the movie come out… We’ve talked about this before on the show, is that some of your pay is generally based on the movie actually coming out, so delivery of the finished negative or a box office bonus. When it’s released theatrically, if it hits $100 million, you get this bonus, residuals. None of that’s going to happen.

**Craig:** That’s right. The director’s almost certainly fulfilled their obligations by delivering a cut, and they will be paid. You’re correct, whatever residuals have become will obviously no longer be a factor. It’s an interesting question for the screenwriter. Almost always there is a bonus for screenplay credit. The credit may have been determined for this movie, but may not have been, because the credit is determined by a process that begins with the studio submitting a notice of tentative writing credit. If the studio hasn’t submitted that, there is no writing credit for this, and then there is no bonus. This is a really weird one. I have to just hope that this is a weird eclipse shooting star moment here that won’t happen again.

**John:** I will say though it’s unprecedented for this to happen in movies or television. I guess there have been some TV series that have shot and never aired. The pilot process is a form of this, where we shoot a pilot, and most pilots never air. Other industries, they will just do research and development. Apple will spend a billion dollars developing a car and say, “We’re not going to do a car.”

**Craig:** That’s right. The difference is that the car would need to still be manufactured over and over and over. They’ve manufactured the single car that is then required to show people. That’s the business we’re in. We build one thing, and everybody comes, stands around, and looks at it. To not put it out there is a very surprising decision, but I think this is one of those stories that’s tailor made for the phrase “above my pay grade,” because I don’t understand this stuff.

**John:** Let’s do some follow-up here. Last week we talked about IMDb. I was complaining about the new IMDb redesigned. We agreed that the redesign was terrible. You said, “John, why don’t you just scrape IMDb and make your own website?”

**Craig:** Scrape it.

**John:** I said that was completely impossible and that copyright law would prohibit that. A bunch of people wrote to us who know more about this than we do. We’ll start off with Cory Doctorow, who is an author and online person who said that I was… He’s an online person.

**Craig:** He’s an online personality.

**John:** He’s an online personality.

**Craig:** He’s very online, as Aline would say.

**John:** Who’s very strongly said that I was wrong. He pointed to court cases that would indicate that you could get by with scraping IMDb. Chris Reed, who’s an actual copyright attorney, wrote in and explained why that’s true and also there’s other complications along the way. Craig, where are we standing now with your fantasy of scraping IMDb? Where do you think we’re at now?

**Craig:** I think that we’re in a decent place. I think that you have to be careful when you’re scraping IMDb to not scrape up the wrong stuff. Basically, if you work at IMDb and you create anything for that site that isn’t just a fact that you scraped yourself from credits of a film, that may be protected. In fact, it likely is. Basically, IMDb is a service that already scraped another service. It scraped all the credits from all the movies. I think a re-scraping feels like you’d be on solid ground.

**John:** Chris, the copyright attorney, says that, “John is correct that there is copyright protection available for compilations of data and databases, but Craig is correct the facts are not generally copyrightable.” It goes down back to the phone book. The information in the phone book is not copyrightable. The argument would be is the organization of facts in IMDb and how it’s put together and is there essential stuff in it that is copyrightable that is not just the facts themselves. That would be the live court case.

Interestingly, there is a case that’s similar to it, which is that LinkedIn sued a company called HiQ. HiQ was scraping LinkedIn. It went through a bunch of iterations, made it to the Supreme Court. Supreme Court kicked it back down. HiQ won or has been winning this live challenge for its ability to scrape LinkedIn to get information off of public-facing pages for that. That seems relevant, except that HiQ is not a direct competitor of LinkedIn, which is Craig’s service. Craig movie database would directly compete with it, which feels like that could be another live issue there.

**Craig:** I don’t know. I don’t know why. Basically, whether I’m competing or not, either what they have is ownable or not ownable. I do think that if you were scraping IMDb and then your website looked a whole lot like IMDb, you’d be in trouble.

**John:** There’d probably be trademark and trade dress and all those kind of problems too.

**Craig:** Even the general design and layout of tabs and things, these are trademarkable but also copyrightable I think is more important. The layout itself is probably protected. I’m just talking about the raw data. I’ll just come back to IMDb itself is a scraping service. You point out here in our notes that IMDb has a term of service, which says, “Robots and screen scraping. You may not using data mining, robots, screen scraping, or similar data gathering and extraction tools on this site except with our express written consent as noted below.” Lol. Lmao. Unenforceable. I don’t believe that. What does that even mean? You violated their terms of service. Who cares? What are they going to do, kick you off? It’s free. That’s the thing. It’s not like terms of service are a law where you go to prison. They’re just saying you’re not allowed to use their service if you do this. I did it, and I guess I won’t use your service anymore.

**John:** What Chris points out though is that by violating the terms of service, they might be go after you criminally for, it’s called CAFA, computer abuse and fraud, that you’re using their service, that you’re potentially stealing. That’s a stretch, but that’s what they would try to do.

**Craig:** Sure, they could try to do it, and they would lose, because you’re not doing what that law was intended to do. Generally speaking, it’s not all technicalities. Everybody understands what the intention was. You’re not breaking into their website. For instance, one of the terms of service might be you can’t violate our security layers to steal the information of other users. If you do that, it’s not just a violation of the terms of service. I could see where that goes into CAFA. This, I’m just copying stuff that’s on the screen. Anyway, we’re armchair lawyers, but I’m pro-scrape. I think our service should be called scrapey.scrape. I think people would love it.

**John:** To clarify for our listeners and for Amazon’s lawyers, we are not actually planning on building anything here. This is never going to happen.

**Craig:** John has already built it. He’s already built an Amazon. It’s in his backyard, getting ready to launch.

**John:** It got me thinking about… Craig, you’re of course familiar with the Fermi Paradox, which is basically it feels like there should be other alien civilizations out there, and why have we not seen alien civilizations. I think there’s a similar thing that you can think about with a movie service that is like IMDb, is that if it were simple and easy to do just by scraping, someone else would’ve done it, which leads me to think that there’s probably some reasons why there’s not a big competitor to IMDb. The fear of litigation, that it’s actually technically harder to do, to actually run the site than you think, that there’s no way to make it profitable might be factors.

**Craig:** That’s the big one, I think. I think that IMDb is a decent platform for advertising, but it is not a business that… They try, but it’s not really an expandable business. It’s more of a public servicey kind of thing.

**John:** That’s probably why my frustration is so pointed towards the UI changes they’re making to it. It’s because I think they’re trying to make more money off of it, and by making it actually worse for people who need to use it.

**Craig:** They’re like, “What are we doing here with this thing?” Really, IMDb or whatever its eventual competitor or new form would be should probably be more of a public utility like Wikipedia is.

**John:** I want that to happen too. Let’s talk about the alternatives that are out there, because we didn’t talk about this last week. The one that you and I both agree is probably the closest to what we’d like to make is a TMDB.

**Craig:** It’s nice. TMDB. I don’t know where they got all their information from.

**John:** They say it’s user supplied. It feels like it’s a little bit more homegrown. It felt accurate.

**Craig:** I assume they have the same kind of publishing structure that Wikipedia folks have. They have regular contributors. Then they have editors, and they have uber-editors and people above them. These things sometimes, they just grow and grow and become amazing. I find that there is often this weird cultural moment. I remember the cultural moment where Google was a thing, because prior to Google, most people were using Yahoo or Alta Vista or Lycos. Then I started using Excite.

**John:** I remember Excite.

**Craig:** Excite was way better. There was a brief Excite moment. Then people started talking about this Google thing. The moment you used it, you were like, “This is so much better.”

**John:** “This is so much better.”

**Craig:** Then it just happened. It happened so fast. Until it happened, there was no Google. It was just a stupid, silly word. That may happen with… Who knows? Maybe this is the beginning of TMDB’s moment.

**John:** It could totally be there. I’ll also point out that Studio System, which is their other credits thing, they pay money for it. It’s a paid service. Variety has Variety Insight, which is a paid service. There are alternatives there. Realistically, everyone you and I know is using IMDb and begrudgingly going through it.

**Craig:** Yes, and IMDbPro, which I subscribe to, which has some interesting information at times.

**John:** It does, but not-

**Craig:** It’s not worth it.

**John:** It’s not worth it. It’s not as good as it should be.

**Craig:** No, I’m passively subscribing to it at this point. I wouldn’t suggest anybody actively subscribe to it.

**John:** Really the reason why I think we subscribed to it in the first place, to fix mistakes in our own listings or friends’ listings.

**Craig:** I don’t do a ton of that. What I use it for mostly is when we’re having casting discussions. They do have a decent searchable actory thing that then organizes people by their stupid star meter, which is not a reflection of anything at all. If I say I’m looking for an actor between 45 and 65 who is between this height and this height, whatever I put in, it’s a decent spit back for me. Maybe TMDB will offer that as well.

**John:** That’d be nice. Hey Megana, can you give us some follow-up on dating your writing partner?

**Megana:** Dangerous wrote in to us with an update. She said, “I wanted to say thanks so much for discussing my letter and all the thoughtful advice. I was genuinely touched. I have a darkly funny updated. While I still haven’t decided what to do on a personal level with this complicated situation, though I’m leaning towards Megana’s none of the above advice, I did pitch this idea to a producer dressed up as a sexy rom-com, and they loved it. I’m now getting some development money. While my therapist probably wouldn’t approve of how this is being handled, at least I can sort out some of my crazy emotions through art, and hey, that’s something, right?”

**Craig:** That is something.

**John:** That is something.

**Craig:** That is the most screenwriter resolution ever. “I’m in a terrible spot. How can I turn this into a movie and get a lot of money?” That’s a thrilling update.

**John:** Craig, you don’t listen to other podcasts, but on The Writing Life podcast, they talk about using the drama in your own life to channel your writing and use your daily writing to sort through your problems. It feels like Dangerous has taken that advice, in addition to our advice, and made gold out of this.

**Craig:** I never would’ve recommended you do this on purpose, but you did it, and I’m so happy you did. Congrats. I hope that this all works out well for you, both for the movie that you’re writing and also however you wish your relationship to go.

**John:** Let’s do one more piece of follow-up here from Annie. This is about Rodney Stotts, which is one of the How Would This Be a Movies.

**Megana:** Annie wrote in and said, “I’m Annie Kaempfer Brooklyn, New York. I just listened to your new episode, big fan, and was so excited to hear about Rodney Stotts in How Would This Be a Movie, because I recently made the feature documentary, and yes, there’s a bird trapping scene.”

**Craig:** There you go.

**Megana:** “Your discussion was so interesting and spot on. I especially appreciated the point that this could easily become a paint by numbers story we’ve all seen a million times before. It was a lesson I learned the hard way, cutting the film down from full length to make it a one-hour TV version. It made me realize my story arc/Rodney’s life story was in a lot of ways the least interesting part of the film. The parts you lean into were the portrait film scenes, Rodney’s stance on parenting, why he’s not interested in romantic relationships, his poetry, etc, anywhere where he’s just being himself and talking about his views on the world, because he really is an amazing character.” Then we’ll link in the show notes to the film and the trailer.

**John:** The film is out on Amazon right now. People can see it if they want to see it. Watching through the trailer, one of the questions you and I had, Craig, was what is his voice like, what does he actually sound like. His speaking voice is cool. His accent is interesting. He carries himself with a cool energy, which I think is going to be great.

**Craig:** I’m excited. I have to say this is very gratifying, because I think you and I wanted to see a version of this, and it turns out it already existed, which is great. We maybe need to go back and ET style rename that segment How Would This Have Been a Movie.

**John:** You definitely wanted the documentary for this. Someone who’s curious about making this movie obviously as a feature, as a narrative feature, you’ll look at the documentary to get a sense of who that is as a character. I think you’re casting Mahershala Ali in that role. I think you’ve got a winner if you’re going to make this movie. I’m excited to see the documentary first.

**Craig:** Fantastic.

**John:** Let’s get on to our marquee topic. This comes from a question from Matt. Maybe Megana could read us the question and set up the issue of why now.

**Megana:** Matt wrote in and said, “I could be wrong, but I don’t recall you guys discussing the question of why now. I’ve been pitching new TV ideas for the last few years and often struggle working out what my characters and story are saying about the world we live in and why this show needs to exist beyond its entertainment value and my enthusiasm and need to work. How much does why now inform your choices and development of new ideas? Did Craig have discussions about why the Chernobyl story needed a TV show in 2019? If yes, at what point in the show’s development was it considered? Developing/discovering a why now feels different to a theme or central dramatic argument, which has universality without necessarily commenting on the world in 2022.”

**John:** What a smart question.

**Craig:** Yeah, although I must admit I’m a bit confused, because this is not what I think of when I think of the why now question.

**John:** Tell me what you think of with the why now question.

**Craig:** For me at least, typically the why now question is never about why are we making this show or movie now for the public. The question is why are these things happening to this character now. What is the relevance inside of the story? I would rephrase this as why should we make this.

**John:** I see that. Let’s talk about this why now in terms of the development is a question of-

**Craig:** Why should we make this?

**John:** Why should we make this now? Also, you could think about it from the writer’s perspective, like why is this a story that I’m drawn to telling now?

**Craig:** Which is very valid.

**John:** I think we’ve talked in other episodes a lot about why does the story start now, why is it starting for this character right now, why is this change happening right now, why are we starting it.

**Craig:** This would be why should we make this now.

**John:** Why is this worth my time and energy to be making this? Let’s think about it from the development side, because this is coming up a lot, this stuff around, that I’m involved with, is something else just happened, some other movie just happened that was a huge success, and so therefore looking around, saying, oh, so another movie in the same genre or the same basic idea feels right and relevant. If there’s a bunch of zombie movies that are hits, okay, this feels like a good time for a zombie movie, or if suddenly two Westerns hit, then we’re making some more Westerns.

**Craig:** I think we have cautioned writers before to not try and time the marketplace this way, because you’ll probably be late. By the time you hear about it, it’s too late. Often what happens is a studio will be well aware that let’s say a Top Gun: Maverick is going to be huge. Other studios immediately start moving into position, because they’ve heard and buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz. The movie comes out. It confirms it. Then they go, “Great, these 300 other things that we have that we’ve copied,” and obviously that’s an exaggeration, “let’s start moving them forward.” By the time it filters to you at home, it’s too late. They’ve already shut the door on the Top Gun: Maverick kind of things. This is why they will occasionally do this, but it’s not necessarily going to be information that’s useful for us as writers.

**John:** I would say the lesson people are taking from Top Gun: Maverick of the summer is not like, oh, we need to make more movies with fighter jets. It’s that, oh, maybe it’s a good idea to make Legally Blonde 3, because we’d be curious to catch up with that character now 20 years later to see what’s up in her life. There’s still that nostalgia, but a new chapter of it can feel right. You can take the same lesson from Creed or other movies like that.

**Craig:** Absolutely. It’s a bit of a revision of the way we used to do things where we would just remake stuff. When you and I were starting out in the ’90s, they would come to us and say we want to remake blah blah blah from a movie, or a television show into a movie. That’s when they were trying to do things like My Favorite Martian into a movie. You’re like, “Who remembers this?”

**John:** I remember pitching My Three Sons.

**Craig:** There you go. My Three Sons, Flubber, and all that. Now they’re like, “You know what? Let’s not remake these things. Let’s just bring back that person but older and see what it’s like now.”

**John:** Extend, yeah.

**Craig:** Exactly. It’s the same vibe.

**John:** Another reason for a why now would be it’s related to a current cultural moment. I was thinking about Jordan Peele’s Get Out and the idea of good white people and the sense of oh, they couldn’t be bad white people, because they voted for Obama. That felt like a very specific moment to make that movie, that you couldn’t have made that movie 10 years earlier, 20 years earlier. It was specific to that moment. There was a thing going on in culture that is like, “Okay, this is the right time to make this kind of movie or this kind of perspective on this kind of movie.”

**Craig:** I will probably repeat this a few times as we have this conversation. That’s not a cultural moment that studios tend to recognize as existing until a movie like Get Out comes out and surprises them all. Nobody behind Get Out, other than Jordan Peele and the filmmakers that were doing it understood quite what was going to happen, because they just didn’t. I’m not surprised. Sometimes in the best way, movies announce that there is a cultural moment.

**John:** Absolutely agreed. Another reason for why now is just there’s a notable filmmaker who wants to make it. There’s really no reason other than that person wants to do it, so therefore we’ll do it. I’m thinking back to one of the streamers came to me with a book that they wanted to make into a movie for their service. They had this director attached. I read the book. I’m like, “Oh.” I was pretty candid on the phone call with them. I was like, “I don’t understand what it is about this book that you want to make.” It’s like, “Oh, she wants to direct it.” Like, “Oh, okay, that’s the whole reason.” This wasn’t the movie that needed to happen right now. There wasn’t anything about this relevance to this, particularly time. It was just simply, oh, this is a thing that she wants to make, so therefore we want to make it.

**Craig:** There are definitely things that come into existence because of ego, whether there is a big star attached, or sometimes it’s just the pet project of the person who runs the studio. I will not say what the movie is. I will not say what the studio is or the name of the studio executive. I will tell you a little story.

**John:** Please.

**Craig:** There was a film that had been in development for over 20 years. It had been green lit. It was a month away from shooting. The person who ran the studio asked me to work on it and to do a lot of work on it, because it needed a lot of work, and to do it fast. I said I could not, and in that discussion, just said, “Hey, why are you still making this a month from now if you know the script needs to be completely rewritten?” This person said, “Sometimes the best way to make a movie is to just start making a movie.” I never forgot that, because I actually understand it. It wasn’t like I went, “You idiot.” I get it, but also, oh no, and spoiler alert, it didn’t turn out well. Generally, it doesn’t. That said, sometimes it does.

**John:** Sometimes it does.

**Craig:** When you watch Heart of Darkness, the documentary-

**John:** Chaos.

**Craig:** … about Apocalypse Now, you can’t believe that they ever agreed to do it in the first place. They just started making a movie and ended up with something incredible.

**John:** Last reason I’ll give for a why now is that there’s a chance to change formats. Look at Lord of the Rings. We’ve done those as movie trilogies. Now you can do Tolkien as a series. Changing the format feels like, oh, there’s a really new way to explore this material by going to a different format. I think a lot of times the why now is just because there’s a new place for us to do this thing and to do it differently. That could be a valid reason.

**Craig:** Primarily, I would say to Matt, this why now thing is not our problem, because most of the things we’re talking about are justifications that executives will have to give to each other and to the person above them, because they often do need a why should we be making this, because they’re the ones that are spending all the money. What we do ultimately is probably best when there isn’t an obvious why now, but rather people tell you the why now. They appreciate it for what it is. Quality itself is the best justification for existence. We probably should just work on that and be less concerned about the why now, because it changed constantly anyway.

**John:** There’s the why now of who’s going to make this movie and why are they going to make it. I think there still is a valid why now question for a writer to ask before they’re even sitting down to start working on a project or to really think through a project is to ask themselves… Matt was talking about theme and dramatic purpose and dramatic question.

I think it’s worth asking yourself just for your own purposes what is it about this film that speaks to me in this current moment or this America right now or the world right now that would be different than if I were to do this 10 years ago or 20 years ago. Is there something that feels relevant and interesting to me about setting the story right now that this film can comment on? Those are valid questions to ask. Are there cinematic techniques that are going to be different and interesting because they are modern cinematic techniques? How are the female characters used? How are you looking at race and gender overall in your film? What’s your perspective in this film on policing and authority? Are there 2022 issues that are interesting to you in this film that you think you can expose? That’s worth asking. It’s not the same kind of why now question, but it’s really asking what is the current relevance for the story you’re thinking about telling.

**Craig:** A lot of stories, movies, and television shows demand a discussion of relevance. If you’re going to adapt X-Men for instance, X-Men is just an obvious allegory for racism and genocide and all that. Then it got even more obvious as it went on. You can’t really ignore that. You need to have that kind of commentary. There are also stories that are simply about universal relationships and experiences that are not about relevance. In fact, they transcend the why now because the answer is because always. For instance, death, love, betrayal, greed, all the good Bible stuff, that’s always why now.

**John:** Timeless.

**Craig:** It’s always why now. The question is really not why now, but what will be different about this. How will this connect to us in a different way? What will be teaching us something about ourselves in a way that we didn’t have before. Then there are other shows, where you’re like, yeah, of course you have to think about why now.

**John:** When I first got pushed to do Aladdin, I asked myself, is it a really good idea? Is there anything to do that is important to do that will be than the animated film, because I love the animated film. What else we came down to is there were a couple things I felt like were contemporary things that could be different and would be better served doing this movie in 2018, 2019. Giving Jasmine agency, because in the animated film, she doesn’t talk to anyone other than her tiger and her father and Aladdin when he finally shows up. Giving her some control over the story, so that decision that she is going to become the sultan and therefore wants to learn how the world works, because she’s been so cloistered, and giving her someone else to talk with. Changing Genie from being the crazy cocaine uncle to a bro, and what that dynamic would shift, and what it’s like to be at fraternal levels. How you position a fantasy world within existing cultural frameworks, because that’s a tricky thing to do. How you land this Agrabah in a place that feels like you could see the connections to existing cultural things, but you’re not stepping on landmines. Those were the things that were interesting to me before I even went in to pitch to Disney what we were going to do with the film.

**Craig:** Honestly, I would put those under how now as opposed to why now-

**John:** That’s a smart framing.

**Craig:** … because if you look at what you have there, that you were saying, “Hey look, this needs to change,” those are actually arguments against why now. Then you provide a how now, and you can see the method in front of you. How now is probably the more important question for adaptations and remakes, I would imagine, because the world has changed dramatically, and generally for the better. You do have to ask these difficult questions that back when you were pitching My Three Sons probably didn’t have to worry about.

**John:** For sure. Let’s get to some reversal. This comes from a question that Leah Saint Marie, or Leah Welch, asked you on Twitter. You said, “Oh.” You flagged me, like, “Let’s talk about reversals on a podcast.”

**Craig:** She said, “Is there anywhere regarding Scriptnotes,” 403 how do you write a movie, “Is there anywhere you specifically walk through the scene-by-scene thesis to antithesis to synthesis creation process, and how these sub-theses generate from the overall theme and then cascade towards the protagonist’s embodiment of that theme?” That’s a good question. I thought, “No, there isn’t. I guess maybe we should do that.” The easiest way for me to do it is to do it with something I’ve written, because I can say this is how that worked.

**John:** We’re going to take a look at two related scenes from Chernobyl. This is Episode 3, I think.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** Talk us through what happens in these scenes, because we were going to try to pull audio, and the audio was going to actually be more confusing than just talking through the scene. Tell us what’s happening in these scenes.

**Craig:** In this first one, Legasov is with Schcherbina, the Soviet bureaucrat. They have a problem. They need to have miners dig under this nuclear power plant that is burning and install a heat exchanger so that it doesn’t get too hot and doesn’t boil down, melt down into the groundwater. The problem is they need miners to do it. They have to ask the head of the miners to do this without having him go, “No,” because they already have gotten information that these miners are tough and have no problem saying no.

**John:** Let’s talk about the reversals, what you’re setting up and what you’re reversing in the scene. There’s a payoff scene later on that’s a traditional reversal to it. What are the dynamics going into this that need to get flipped?

**Craig:** In the context of what Leah’s asking about, the big theme is about lying. It’s about lies and truth. Legasov is self-professed, says right at the beginning, “I’m not good at lying.” The implication is, “I’m going to need to, because there’s no way we’re going to get this guy to do what we’re asking him to do without lying to him.” Shcherbina is cautioning him that that’s not going to work. He says, “Have you ever spent time with miners?” Legasov says, “No.” He says, “My advice, tell the truth. These men work in the dark. They see everything.” There’s the warning shot. Legasov is warned. He is going to attempt to lie in a different way. He’s going to fire that bullet. “I’m going to lie somehow.”

This guy walks in, Glukhov, tough guy. The first thing he says without saying hello or anything is, he holds up this gas mask and says, “Do these work?” Legasov says, “To an extent.” The lying has begun. The problem that Legasov is going to find is that this guy keeps hitting him back. He hits him back by saying nothing, weirdly, but just asking for a cigarette. When Legasov offers him one cigarette, Glukhov takes the entire pack, which is him saying, basically, “I’m actually tougher than you even thought. Go ahead, keep lying to me, buddy. Let’s see how that works for you.” He asks him what the job is. Legasov explains it without telling him why it’s a problem. He just says, “We have to do this. We can’t approach it from the interior. We have to come in it from underground.” Once again, he is lying with a scent of omission. Glukhov questions him, “What’s above the pad?” Shcherbina says, “Tell him the truth.” Legasov tries a different tact, which is to tell him the truth.

Then Glukhov asks for the dimensions and eventually gets to this question, “How deep do you want the tunnel.” Legasov says, “12.” Glukhov says, “12 meters. Why?” Legasov says, “For your protection. At that depth, you will be shielded from much of the radiation.” Legasov things again that his… He’s gotten to a place where he lied. The guy called him on the lie. He told the truth. We’re in a new place where now we’re okay. He’s gotten where he’s like, “Okay, I’m able to tell you enough truth, but I can still leave stuff out.” It doesn’t work. He tries it, and it doesn’t work. This guy fires more at him. “The entrance to the tunnel won’t be 12 meters down.” Very smart. “No.” “We’re not 12 meters down right now.” “No.” Aha. There we go. Glukhov stands up, says he’s going to do it, but he knows what the truth is. He knows that Legasov was lying to him.

Then the final thing that he says, which is the final synthesis, is he looks at the gas mask and said, “If these worked, you’d be wearing them.” He goes all the way back to the beginning, the very first thing he asked when he walked in, which was, “Do these work?” He might as well have been saying, “Are you a liar or not?” At the end he says, “Aha. Through batting this thing back and forth, we have now established you’re a liar.” That’s how he leaves him. It is a little battle over what the truth is and how to get somebody to do something. In a way Glukhov essentially says, “I would’ve done it anyway if you had just told me the truth, but you didn’t. I don’t respect you.”

**John:** Craig, great scene. We’ll applaud the scene.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**John:** It fits very well into the overall theme of the series. The dynamics within the scene itself are terrific. Obviously, this is not the most efficient version of the scene. The most efficient version of the scene is like, “We need you to do this thing.” He says, “I don’t want to do it, but I’ll do it,” and then he walks out the door. There’s a two-eighths or three-eighths of a page version of the scene that does the same plot purpose. It doesn’t do the actual dramatic purpose, which is to move our story along and to create rhythms within scenes that feel like they are part of the DNA of the whole series. Talk to us about in writing the scene and figuring out the flip within this, how did you approach the scene?

**Craig:** I thought about how frustrating it is to talk to somebody who doesn’t need you, who doesn’t need anything from you. We had created this character and already established that he was completely immune to the normal Soviet stuff. He couldn’t be bullied. He couldn’t be threatened. Furthermore, what he did and what his men were capable of doing was essential work no one else could do. He’s got you. Now what do you do to get that guy to do what you want? To me, everything should always be about the main character in one way or another. Legasov is meant to learn a lesson at the end of the scene that Shcherbina already knows, because Shcherbina’s been around these guys. He knows the deal. Legasov is an academician, an academic. What’s the difference between academic and academician? I don’t know.

**John:** A couple letters, but I don’t actually think it makes a difference.

**Craig:** He’s from the academy. He is struggling with his own need to be a truth teller and also to get things done. He is learning how difficult it is to move through the world telling the truth, that there is always a cost to telling the truth, and so there is fear of telling the truth. In the end, that’s exactly what he conquers, his fear of telling the truth. In the eventual ending of the whole thing, he’s there in a courtroom, his life or his freedom is at stake, and he makes the bold decision to tell the truth. In this moment, which is pretty much smack dab right in the middle of the five-episode run of this show, he is not yet capable of doing it. He gets a little glimpse of how it could’ve gone otherwise if he had. He’s meeting a guy who embodies the truth. Glukhov is literally incapable of lying or he’s guileless. He just wants the information.

**John:** Now we often talk about what rights you need and what rights you don’t need and using real people, using not real people. Of the people who are in this scene, who’s real, and how much of the situation is as it happened? I’m guessing that the miners actually did that work, but no real life moment happened which is the scene.

**Craig:** No. Shcherbina was a real person. Legasov was a real person. This is entirely a dramatic invention that I made. I have no idea if they ever even met with any miners. It’s a work of historical fiction. This task that they were given is correct and is true. Furthermore, the fact that most of them did not understand how dangerous it was was true. The fact that a bunch of them understood it was dangerous but they were still doing it is also true.

I thought it was just fascinating that, this is a very Soviet thing, they did have to dig the tunnel deeper to protect themselves from the radiation that they would experience the second they walked out of the tunnel. Very Soviet. Very strange. A weird kind of denial. If you’re mostly at 12 meters, then maybe it won’t matter that you’re not going to be at 12 meters a lot. All that stuff is correct. Also, the attitude of the miners was something that I took from research, that in the Soviet system the coal miners were incredibly tough, knew that they were essential to the operation of the Soviet state, and in fact gave Gorbachev massive problems with strikes and things like that. They were not afraid at all.

**John:** Obviously, all of the Chernobyl scripts are available at the library, so just johnaugust.com/library. You can read all of them. We’ll put a little pdf snippet of this scene and also the corollary scene, which is 335, which is the payoff of what the miners actually did at the moment, and a funny payoff to that. If people want to see those scenes, there’s a link in the show notes for that.

**Craig:** Hopefully, that helped you understand how I do these things, Leah. It’s always different from scene to scene and moment to moment and show or movie to show or movie. That’s the general idea, watching somebody confront their basic fear and failing at it, but maybe making some incremental gains or learning a lesson or seeing somebody else be truer than they are and learning and finding a new place at the end of it.

**John:** Love it. It’s come time for our One Cool Things.

**Craig:** Woo.

**John:** Craig, do you have a One Cool Thing to share?

**Craig:** I do have a One Cool Thing to share. You know I love The Room, the games, The Room games. There hasn’t been a new one in a bit, although I’m aware that probably to the people who make them, they’re like, “Oh my god, we just made the VR one. We’re working on it.” Work faster. There is this other game called House of Da Vinci.

**John:** I’ve played that.

**Craig:** There’s been House of Da Vinci 1 and House of Da Vinci 2. They are shameless copies of The Room, and yet also I have to give them credit for being good. You can make a copy of something that just isn’t very good. It’s just a bad knockoff. If you make a copy of something and you clearly put a lot of time, thought, energy, and care into it, then I have to say, enjoyable. House of Da Vinci 3 has just come out, last week I believe. I am currently playing it. It’s tough, but it’s good. Again, it has a lot of those Room elements that I love, great sound design, interesting puzzles, and very simple but satisfying UI. If you are a fan of The Room games or if you’ve played the House of Da Vinci games, give House of Da Vinci 3 a shot.

**John:** Very nice. My One Cool Thing is an article by Katherine Wu in The Atlantic. It’s about antlers. It’s about why deer grow antlers, and elk also grow antlers.

**Craig:** Of course.

**John:** Are you aware of antlers and what their deal is and why they grow?

**Craig:** I’m going to give you a huge no on that one, John.

**John:** I grew up in Colorado, so I’ve been around deer and elk and giant antlers all this time. They grow every spring. They are bone. They are bone. They’re not just like keratin. They’re not just like fingernail stuff. They can grow one inch per day, which is incredibly fast. That’s faster than any other bone can grow in your body. It’s faster than cancers can grow. What the article makes clear is that the male deer and elk are spending a tremendous amount of energy, of bodily resources, to create these giant racks to fight other men for breeding and dominance. It seems to wasteful evolutionary-wise, and yet it persists. Scientists don’t quite know why it happens. They don’t quite know why the racks are shed at the end of the season, because some animals don’t shed them. It is fascinating.

Again, this is not a How Would This Be a Movie, but I think it’s interesting to see that biologically, giant, wasteful male displays have always been there. It happens to peacocks. It happens with these running deer. I thought it was just a cool looking sort of thing, the biology behind it, but also the questions that still remain about why these giant things are possible.

**Craig:** Animal behavior is fascinating to me. That’s a really interesting concept of how much energy is required to create these things just so they could fight each other. I guess the point is that toxic masculinity is very much a part of our existence. It’s weird, I hear this and I actually feel slightly better about being a human man, because even though I have a lot of man things in me, violence… I don’t go around punching people, but I feel violent at times. I’ve punched a wall or nine. My general ability to manage the innate toxic nightmare inside that testosterone creates is pretty decent. I’ve done a decent job. I definitely behave better in real life than I do in, for instance, Cyberpunk 2077.

**John:** For sure. One of the points that she makes is that it’s possible that wasting all this energy on these giant antlers actually does serve a purpose because it proves your dominance over other people. It proves, look how much energy I can afford to waste, that I am so powerful and so much bigger than everyone else. Don’t even try to fight me. It may be good for the herd overall to be doing this crazy stuff. I just thought it was fascinating.

**Craig:** Women dig antlers.

**John:** They do. That’s what it comes down to.

**Craig:** I’m going to grow antlers.

**John:** For my Bambi remake, it’s all about antlers.

**Craig:** Oh my god, that would be great. Bambo. He’s just a guy.

**John:** Bambo.

**Craig:** He’s just an angry man. The rabbit comes in and just is instantly gored by Bambo.

**John:** Love it. Good stuff.

**Craig:** Dark.

**John:** That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao.

**Craig:** That’s right.

**John:** It’s edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** Indeed.

**John:** The outro this week is by Nico Mansy. You have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For shorter questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin, I’m @johnaugust. We have show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weeklyish newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re great. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a Premium Member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments and emails about when we’re going to do our live shows. Craig and Megana, thank you for a fun episode.

**Craig:** Thank you.

**Megana:** Thank you.

[Bonus Segment]

**John:** Our bonus topic here is about when to deal with really annoying, stupid people. Maybe set us up with a question, Megana. We got this in from a guy.

**Megana:** Bald at an Early Age asks-

**Craig:** Love him already.

**John:** That’s me.

**Megana:** “I work as a manager at a running shoe store. Today I got a customer who came in, and I literally don’t know how the topic came up, but he started talking about how all of the bombing in Afghanistan has shifted the axis of the earth, resulting in mass tornadoes and environmental hell, specifically north of Kansas. I’m not sure how that detail helped his case, but I like the specificity. All the while, my soul was melting out of my ears. Of course I wanted to say, ‘That’s not how physics works.’ However, I felt like I was about to poke a bear. He was fairly large, and I’m also certain he was chewing tobacco in the store. Not to mention he was a customer. All I could manage was a silent smile. My question is, how do you both deal with stupidity in the workplace? To be sure, this example is mostly humorous, but I’ve had more serious examples with employers as well.”

**John:** I think one of the things that he’s helping set up for us is that the relative power balance thing can be a real factor here in terms of how you deal with these people. If this person is outranking you or if there’s a structural reason why you have to be polite to this person, you may not say something, as opposed to another customer in the store could more easily say, “That actually doesn’t make sense. That’s not actually possible, what you’re describing.”

**Craig:** Bald at an Early Age, you have probably a good, innate amount of disagreeability, which sounds like a bad thing, but I think it’s a good thing. It’s basically defined as your willingness to disagree in situations where other people might simply go along to get along. I think it’s important to be disagreeable to an extent. Otherwise, things go unchecked. We love the guy in the movie who stands up like Henry Fonda and says, “No, I’m not going to vote guilty.” Very disagreeable and ultimately is correct. That’s it. Disagreeability only functions when you’re dealing with somebody whose mind can be changed or who’s at least sane or arguing in good faith or has the intellectual capacity to understand reason.

Now, if someone talks about how the bombing in Afghanistan has shifted the axis of the earth, you can rest assured you are not dealing with somebody whose mind you can change. There are things going on in there far beyond your capability. Therefore, you should relax. Relax your body. Relax yourself. Just imagine that you’re watching a video of somebody else dealing with this person, because when you watch videos of other people dealing with this, you laugh. When you’re in the middle of it, of course you can get very frustrated. You have to just give yourself the pass. There is no point in correcting this person. It’s not going to work. Wait them out patiently until they leave. That’s all you can do in that situation.

**John:** I largely agree with you. The thing I do want to point out though is that sometimes it’s not just those two people. It’s also other observers. If someone is saying idiotic things or racist things or homophobic things, and you don’t call them out or acknowledge that they are doing that or call them on their behavior, other observers, may be sensing it’s okay to do that or it’s not okay for me to… I am not safe in this situation.

You also have to be mindful of who else is in the environment and it’s not saying something actually hurting other people around you. As the kid who’s heard homophobic things around me a lot of my life, that no one was challenging those things kept me in the closet longer. That’s just a reality. I think you have to be mindful of what the kind of content is and who else could be listening, because if it’s just you and this guy, it doesn’t matter. If there’s someone else there who could be influenced by the thing that guy’s saying, sometimes you do have more responsibility in my opinion just to speak up.

**Craig:** That’s a good way of delineating a difference here, because if somebody is saying stuff that’s just stupid and ultimately pointless, you let it go. If somebody’s saying something that is hurting somebody else, then you don’t. Now I will say that as a guy with antlers, who occasionally runs into other guys with antlers, that anybody, any boy I think probably has some sort of built-in mechanism that says this is probably going to go poorly. You have to make some judgments in the moment, including this difficult judgment, how willing am I to be beaten up, because as I like to point out, 100% of men have been physically assaulted by a man. 100%. We know what it feels like to lose an antler battle. It can be very dangerous. It is a very uncomfortable, miserable calculation to make.

I know that on the other side of the gender coin, women are making very uncomfortable, difficult decisions to make about men to trust, whether they should or shouldn’t, because your physical safety is at risk. You do have to also protect yourself physically. If you get the sense that this is an incredibly volatile person, then sometimes deescalation and getting them out and away is the best thing to do. Then turn to the person who’s been hurt by what they said and talk them through that and listen to them. Getting your ass kicked is probably not going to make anybody feel better.

**John:** I want to turn back to the simpler version of this, when someone’s just an idiot. When do you call them on their idiocy versus letting it roll by? This is a good example. This happened a couple years ago. An agent that’s not my current agent, who was never my current agent, but an agent at this agency, we were talking at dinner, and basically this probability question came up. It’s like, let’s say you flip a coin. You flipped a coin nine times, and it’s come up heads every time. What are the odds that the 10th flip is heads?

**Craig:** 50%.

**John:** I think he said, “I would bet all my money on it, because it’s absolutely due for heads and [inaudible 01:03:34] tails.”

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** I said to him, “It’s 50/50, or the other alternative you could say is it’s more likely to be heads because something is really goofy about the flipping that it’s happening 9 times in a row.” He could not understand that. I was like, “He should not be making my deals.”

**Craig:** Probability is a concept that eludes so many people.

**John:** It’s true.

**Craig:** It’s a little bit like an optical illusion. It’s an intellectual illusion. We really struggle with it. Not only do regular folks struggle with it, but even very smart people struggle with it. There’s a very famous Marilyn vos Savant case of the Let’s Make A Deal. We talked about this, right?

**John:** I was just going to bring up the Monty Hall problem.

**Craig:** The Monty Hall problem. Megana, are you familiar with the Monty Hall problem?

**Megana:** I’m not.

**Craig:** It works a little bit like this. In Let’s Make A Deal, a game show from 90 years before you were born-

**John:** It’s still on the air.

**Craig:** It’s still on the air. Fantastic. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but the basic idea is there are three doors. Behind one of the doors is a brand new car, and behind the other two doors, useless goats. For whatever reason, the goat was the loser prize. You didn’t actually get the goat. Basically, behind one door is a car, and behind two doors, nothing. Door one, two, and three. Go ahead and pick a door, Megana, one, two, or three.

**Megana:** Two.

**Craig:** You’ve picked door number two. I’m going to show you that behind door number one is a goat. Now do you want to stick with door number two, or would you like to switch to door number three? What do you think the probability is that’s influencing your decision?

**Megana:** I want to stick with door number two.

**Craig:** What’s the probability there, do you think?

**Megana:** I have a 50% chance.

**Craig:** That is what so many people think, and in fact what a lot of incredibly smart people thought. They got into big fights with Marilyn vos Savant. It turns out Marilyn vos Savant is correct. You want to switch to number three. The reason why is because while we think we have a 50/50 chance, in fact when you picked door number 2, you had a 1 in 3 chance of being correct. Showing you what was behind door number one didn’t change that at all. Because you had a one in three chance of being correct when you picked door number two, there’s a two in three chance that you will be correct in picking door number three, because he’s showing you information you didn’t have when you made your choice. This is very hard to understand. If you just think about it as the only way that sticking makes sense is if you think you got it right, and the only way you could get it right is 1 out of 3 times, then suddenly you start to understand, I should switch, and that in fact the probability is now 66/33.

**Megana:** We already established that I’m not very good at math.

**Craig:** I think you are.

**Megana:** This is making my head hurt.

**John:** You aced AP Calculus.

**Craig:** You’re doing great.

**John:** You’re doing great. It doesn’t feel intuitively right.

**Craig:** No, it feels wrong.

**John:** We’ll look up whether it’s actually two out of three things. I know you absolutely change it. I’m not sure it actually works out to two thirds, one third.

**Craig:** It has to be. It has to be, because your odds are one in three when you pick it, and that never changes.

**Megana:** Now I have two options left. One is going to have nothing, and one’s going to have a car. Whether I pick door two again, how is that…

**Craig:** When you pick door two, you’re choosing between two options. When you picked door one, you were choosing between three options. The fewer options you have, the higher the chance is that you’ll be picking the car. If you run this every time, you think about it, if I never showed you that first door, if you just picked door number 2, and you did this over and over and over and over and over, then basically 33% of the time you’d get the car. If I remove that door number one and ask you whether you want to stay or switch, if you switch, you will be right therefore two out of three times, over and over and over. I know.

**John:** It’s only when you do a zillion simulations of it that you see it’s going to work out to be this way. It’s like doing the bell curves of it all. It works that way.

**Craig:** It’s really mind-bending.

**John:** Part of the reason why it doesn’t feel right to us is that we have all been in lines at the grocery store and like, “Oh, should I switch to this line which seems to be faster [inaudible 01:08:00]?” We always suffer for it. It feels like I should just stay put always feels like the right answer. Mathematically, with the Monty Hall problem, it doesn’t happen. I’ve seen versions of the Monty Hall problem in a lot of other game shows and other contests where you get those choices and that the right choice is to switch, although people who don’t switch and get the right answer makes it feel like I shouldn’t have switched. It’s still gambling.

**Craig:** People get frustrated with this stuff. I guess to tie it back into the idea of talking to people who are stupid, there are people who get incredibly frustrated with me when I challenge them on their belief in ghosts or homeopathy, which is a big one.

**John:** Astrology.

**Craig:** Oh my god.

**John:** People who believe in science and astrology.

**Craig:** I think that those people really can’t possibly actually believe in astrology. I think it’s more like a fun game. It has to be, because come on, although I run into them all the time.

**John:** Yeah, you do.

**Craig:** With astrology conversations, I just go along with a grin, because it’s so patently and obviously ridiculous. Homeopathy is dressed up as real science. That’s what makes me crazy about it. It also makes me frustrating for people when they say, “It works. That’s all I can tell you is I took it and it worked.” All I can say to them is, “No, it didn’t. It’s placebo.” To the extent that placebo works, yes. To the extent that you’re spending money on a tiny sugar pill that should cost one penny, you’re a sucker. Homeopathy is a bad thing that keeps people from actual effective treatments. People get very frustrated with me, but I make my choices. If there’s somebody who has a very large rack of antlers, I’m probably not going to get really mouthy about it, because I don’t want to get my ass kicked. It’s a tricky one.

To even these conversations up in terms of gender, all women should be allowed to be pointing a gun at a man during all conversations. It would just make things go more equitably, I think. Just as a law. As you start talking, the woman goes, “Oh wait, I’m so, so sorry, give me one second,” and opens up her purse, pulls out a small handgun, points it at you and goes, “Okay, go on.”

**John:** “Make your point.”

**Craig:** “Make your point.” I think then guys would be as gentle and careful with women as they are with men with large racks of antlers.

**John:** It all pays off.

**Craig:** I don’t know. Megana, do you like my idea? Do you like my idea of arming all women in conversations?

**Megana:** I carry pepper spray, so I feel like that does help even things out for me a little bit. Yeah, I think some sort of-

**John:** Maybe every 10 days, you actually take out the pepper spray and aim it at me while we’re having a conversation. Most of the time it’s just a tacit threat that it’s there.

**Craig:** I feel like, Megana, you need to have the pepper spray out and aimed from the start of the conversation or in meetings with people.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Megana:** Most of our meetings are via Zoom.

**Craig:** In real life, I’m just saying if a guy starts talking over you, again, just wiggle the pepper spray, just to remind him it’s in your hand.

**Megana:** I do love that.

**John:** A little bear spray could really speed up development.

**Craig:** Just trying to bring some equity to these situations.

**John:** Thank you guys so much.

**Megana:** Thank you.

**Craig:** Thank you.

Links:

* Lots of exciting updates for premium members coming up, [sign up for a membership here!](https://scriptnotes.net/)
* [WGA Health Plan covers travel for abortion-related expenses](https://www.wgaplans.org/info/health/forms/TravelExpensesNotification.pdf)
* [More Than 400 TV Showrunners Demand Netflix, Disney and More Offer Safety Protocols in Anti-Abortion States](https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/tv-writers-demand-safety-protocols-abortion-bans-1235327815/)
* [Batgirl Shelved](https://deadline.com/2022/08/warner-bros-batgirl-1235083809/)
* [Netflix Retroactively Editing Stranger Things](https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/culture/article/stranger-things-netflix-retroactively-editing)
* [The Falconer](http://www.thefalconerfilm.com/) by Annie Kaempfer, [watch here!](https://www.amazon.com/Falconer-Rodney-Stotts/dp/B09RTSQSND/)
* Follow along with this discussion on reversals – [Chernobyl scene here](https://johnaugust.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/CHERNOBYL_561_Reversals_Scene.pdf), full script [here](https://johnaugust.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Chernobyl_Episode-3Open-Wide-O-Earth.pdf).
* [Antlers Do What No Other Bones Can](https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2022/08/deer-elk-shed-antlers-hunting/671021/) by Katherine J. Wu for The Atlantic
* [House of DaVinci 3](https://www.bluebraingames.com/the-house-of-da-vinci-3) video game
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* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Nico Mansy ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by [Megana Rao](https://twitter.com/MeganaRao) and edited by [Matthew Chilelli](https://twitter.com/machelli).

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

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Scriptnotes Episode 548: Made for Streaming, Transcript

June 1, 2022 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August. This is Episode 548 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, films may have returned to theaters, but many of them are still being made exclusively for streamers. We’ll talk about the pros and cons of going straight to streaming, with the writers of two upcoming films.

First off, we have the writing team of Dan Gregor and Doug Mand, whose credits include How I Met Your Mother, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Most Likely To Murder, Pretty Smart, and the upcoming Chip ’n’ Dale: Rescue Rangers, debuting later this month on Disney Plus. Dan and Doug, it’s a pleasure to have you on the show.

Doug Mand: Thank you.

Dan Gregor: Excited to be here. Thank you for having us in your upstairs backroom.

John: Which of you is Chip and which of you is Dale?

Dan: I guess I was accused of being Dale. We did early recordings for temp voice. I was Dale and Doug was-

Doug: Chip.

Dan: We got dropped very quickly.

Doug: Emotionally, because it is a movie about friendship and partnership.

Dan: Through long-term Hollywood careers.

John: The people actually playing your roles in the movie, they’re newcomers, right? They’re no one you’ve ever heard of.

Dan: Nobody you’ve ever heard of. The character inspired by me is played by a young upstart named Andy Samberg.

Doug: The character inspired by me is a little whippersnapper named John Mulaney, who we all have high hopes for, but you never know in this business.

John: Things could turn on a dime.

Doug: Oh my gosh. We’re pulling for him though.

John: We are so excited to welcome our very own Aline Brosh McKenna, who’s recording… You’re going to be in the editing room for your upcoming Netflix feature, but now I see a library behind you, so you’re back at home, correct, Aline?

Aline Brosh McKenna: Indeed. We turned in a cut yesterday. We’re getting towards the end.

John: This would be a cut of Your Place Or Mine, her feature for Netflix. We’re so excited to see it. Do we have a release date for your film yet?

Aline: We do not.

John: Soon. I want soon.

Aline: It’s up to the folks who decide those sorts of things.

John: On this podcast we’re going to be discussing movies made for streamers and the uncertainty of when do our movies come out. We’ll also talk in our Bonus Segment for Premium Members about getting work done when you have a newborn, because Doug and Dan, you both have really young kids. I want to talk to you about that and the strategies you’re employing for actually getting things done when you have a small, screaming infant in your house.

Doug: Work a lot less.

Dan: Whoop, sorry, Premium.

John: A very short segment. First, we have some follow-up. Megana, can you help us out with some follow-up from previous episodes?

Megana Rao: In Episode 545 we spoke with Elizabeth Meriwether and Liz Hannah about How Would This Be A Movie. One of our topics was MacKenzie Scott. We talked about what a limited series about MacKenzie Scott would be like. Teresa tweeted at us, saying, “FYI, there is a TV comedy inspired by MacKenzie Scott, sort of, coming out on Apple TV Plus. It’s a Matthew Hubbard, Alan Yang show, and it stars Maya Rudolph.”

John: The combination of these people, Aline and I know. Maya Rudolph is incredibly funny. This would be inspired by MacKenzie Scott, but not really… Doug, I see a puzzled look on your face.

Doug: That’s just my resting face, but yeah, go ahead.

John: MacKenzie Scott was Jeff Bezos’s ex-wife who’s now giving away all this money. I looked at the show description for this new show. “Rudolph will star as Molly, a woman whose seemingly perfect life is upended when her husband leaves her with nothing but $87 billion.”

Doug: That’s great. That’s a very funny line.

John: That’s a good premise. When people talk about how do you write a good log line, that’s it. That’s a [crosstalk 00:03:25].

Doug: That’s a great log line. That’s fantastic.

Dan: That sounds great.

John: Kudos to Matthew Hubbard and Alan Yang for a very funny log line. May the show live up to it.

Dan: I think it’s really smart. I was listening to that episode, and I also was like, don’t get caught up in all the nonsense of how they met and their relationship. I just want to see-

Doug: Get right to it.

Dan: What’s it like to be a regular lady with $87 billion?

Doug: I don’t need the first episode to be like, “We met and it was all so great and he was just a regular guy.” I don’t care.

Dan: It’s really a funny premise.

Doug: Go spend that money. Let’s get to Brewster’s millions.

John: We like it. Now, Megana, you and I had a Bonus Segment a couple weeks back talking about murder houses and murder house architecture. We got some follow-up from Penelope about this.

Megana: Penelope from Melbourne said, “I was listening to your segment on murder house architecture, and it made me think of Tom Anderson’s brilliant essay film, Los Angeles Plays Itself, released in 2003. He explores in detail why modernist architecture is so often used as the headquarters of villains in movies and TV. It’s such a great documentary, well worth a look if you haven’t seen it yet.”

John: We’ll look at the trailer. I’ll link to the trailer in the show notes. I really liked this. It did really strike to me, if you see a modernist house in a movie, it’s almost always the villain who lives there. Even Charlie’s Angels, the villain lives in the Chemosphere, the most haunted modernist house of all time. In this trailer, I was looking, even LA Confidential, which I think of as being such a period movie, it was a period movie in a modernist era, and the bad guys live there.

Dan: Did you see Westworld?

John: Oh yeah.

Dan: It’s the deep future, and they mostly take place in the Old West. Still, when they ever leave, the villains are still living in the exact same evil modernist houses.

John: Frank Lloyd Wright’s-

Doug: Exactly.

John: …[inaudible 00:05:09] house.

Dan: Exactly. It’s 2030000 and we can’t ever have our mean people live anywhere but Frank Lloyd Wright.

Doug: It was wild that when CAA moved, also they moved to what looks like a large spaceship that’s ready to be sent off into the atmosphere.

Dan: Into the core of the earth.

Doug: There is an evil feeling when you roll in there. I love the CAA. It was just so perfect, it felt villainous, just their new location.

John: Now, Aline, in your film, do you have your characters living in modernist architecture or more traditional? Your film is set in Los Angeles, correct?

Aline: It is set in New York and Los Angeles. We have a little spin on that trope, which is that the person who needs to explore emotional growth lives in a rather modern, arid environment. The person who also needs to experience emotional growth but is a little bit more female, for starters, lives in a more cluttered, craftsman-y, Echo Park, not modern home. I guess I’m using those tropes as well, in a different format.

John: We love it. Last bit of follow-up. We had something from Adam in Brighton, England. Megana, help us out.

Megana: Adam wrote in and said, “On your last episode, I think it was Liz Hannah who said that six-episode seasons struggle to make a profit. As someone who often feels that shows are stretched too thin, I’ve long wondered if the problem is driven by business needs. Do you have any insight that you could share?

John: I have no insight, but we have a lot of people who have made a lot of TV here. Dan, help us out. Talk to us about shorter seasons and the economics and why you don’t see really short seasons.

Dan: The thing that seems pretty clear is that it’s amortized costs. If you have to build a set, all of a sudden that set for a couple episodes is very expensive, but if you’re doing it for a bunch of episodes, it’s expensive. Same thing with basically all of your contracts. Doug had a show that was a 10-episode order. I’m sure you had a sense of what… What would happen if you pushed it more or less?

Doug: I listened to that episode as well. I was like, “Oh, that is interesting,” because I had not had the six-episode discussion. Once you’re up and running, it’s a lot less money to do it, especially a show like Pretty Smart, which was a multi-cam, so the set’s built and you have everything in place. That’s the most I know about it. I didn’t know about the model for six to eight episodes, six episodes being a cutoff. I did not know about that. Neither of us have ever pitched something that would be that long.

John: Aline, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend obviously was… You were 13 episodes and then even longer I think at some times. What was the decision process for like… Originally you were a Showtime show, and then you went to CBS. How did the number of episodes factor into the budget?

Aline: They told us how many episodes to make. It was not our choice. We made 2 18-episode seasons and 2 13-episode seasons. It was based on the network studio and their needs. We ended up making 62 episodes. That would’ve been maybe five, six episodes of streaming or cable. We just made them in the overlapping network system, where everything was happening at the same time. We weren’t able to separate out the phases of production. That made it especially taxing and complicated, but it also allowed us to compress a lot of stuff into a relatively short amount of time.

John: You were able to do 18 episodes of a season within just a course of a calendar year, which as opposed to some of these limited series streaming things, it’s dragged out over 2 years just to do 6 or 8 episodes which is allotted.

Aline: I Love Lucy did 50.

Dan: A season?

Aline: Something like that.

Dan: Oh my god. How I Met Your Mother was a 22, 24, 25 one year, a season kind of show. They were talking about the creative problem of all that, which is you have these middles of the season where you’re like, “We’ve just got to keep these characters in a stasis for a chunk of time so that we can keep our plot endgame primed for where we wanted to go at the end.” You just don’t want to burn out. One of the things we learned on those shows was, man, every meaningful plot point is so priceless. You just don’t want to over-dole them out too quickly, because you really need them to last. The short episode orders are a joy for like, “No, just do it, do it, do it.” That’s why it’s great.

John: Now, Aline, also, you have a TV development deal. In shows that you’re developing, how early on in the conversation do you know how many episodes they want the show to be? If you’re setting up a pilot, do they already have a discussion of like, “Okay, this needs to be at least eight episodes. It needs to be at least 10.” When does that conversation happen?

Aline: That’s interesting. We have a couple pilots that are moving down the highway at some degree of velocity. We haven’t totally nailed it down yet. I think it might also have to do, at this point, with actors and how much time they want off and need off, and the idea now that actors really do go back and forth between not just TV and film, but multiple TV series, and so setting it up so that the actors… If you get a very famous actor and they have a specific number of episodes that they do or don’t want to do, I imagine that that would factor into it.

I’m interested in the idea, from a crafty point, of how much story you eat, because sometimes you can feel that deliberate slowing of the story eating, because creators don’t want to burn too much, because if you burn too much, you get into soap territory very quickly. One of the mini-series I have most admired recently, and by admired I mean was obsessed with, The Dropout. In The Dropout they eat a tremendous amount of story in the pilot. At the end of that pilot, you think, my god, I have been through so much already. I admire that, because it’s giving you the amount of story that you might get in a movie really at that point. Then I think we’ve all gotten to the place where we are accustomed to those episodes, which as Dan said, are between Episodes 4 and 7, where it seems like we’re going to do a flashback episode about the first time this person learned how to use a payphone. That’s going to be the whole episode.

John: We’ve been talking about TV, but I really want to focus on features this time, because you guys are both in the middle of making features for screenwriters. We’ll start with Doug and Dan. Chip ‘n’ Dale: Rescue Rangers, this was obviously a passion project from a very young age. You always dreamed of making a Chip ‘n’ Dale.

Doug: It actually was. It was my favorite cartoon. I have drawings from my childhood that my parents dug up of me cosplaying the Rescue Rangers in different outfits.

John: That’s amazing. Rescue Rangers is not even something that’s on my radar at all. It was very specific. You were just the right age for the Rescue Rangers to be a thing.

Doug: It’s an old, mid-old millennial kind of niche. All of those cartoons aired on the Disney afternoon, which was right when you’d come home from school. They were on repeat. You’d see these episodes hundreds of times, and so you memorized them.

John: It wasn’t the kind of IP where it was like everyone in the world was like, “Oh my god, we have to make a Rescue Rangers movie.”

Dan: That’s why they came to us.

Doug: Exactly.

John: When did they come to you, Doug, to do this?

Doug: I just did a timeline, just because it’s coming out and I just wanted to look at it. They came to us in I guess maybe the beginning of 2015. They were like, “We’re thinking about doing this.”

John: Who is they that came to you?

Doug: It was Louie Provost over at Disney, who is still there, which is a miracle that we had the same executive, and Mandeville Pictures. We had done some work with both of them. We had had meetings with them. They were like, “We think you guys would be great for this.” Our initial response was, “Why? Maybe not.”

Dan: What you’re saying exactly, which is like, does anyone even know who they are? It’s so niche. Even to me, who was obsessed with it for a little period of time, it was again the fourth-most important out of four cartoons. It’s really not a big deal.

Doug: It was, I think, a big deal in our career too. We weren’t getting a lot of IP brought to us. To Disney’s credit and to Mandeville’s credit, they were very much like, “Come to us with anything, any version of it.” Dan and I started talking about it. We took the essence of the why even do this and put that within the picture of the film.

Dan: The original title of the movie was The Chip ‘n’ Dale’s Reboot That Nobody Asked For.

John: How many years ago was this?

Doug: 2015 was our first pitch.

John: This is way before Disney Plus.

Doug: This was sold as a feature.

John: A Disney feature film.

Doug: Exactly. We were both scratching our heads. We pitched this movie that was a noir and had elements of LA Confidential in it.

Dan: Just to give the premise of it really quickly, it’s basically Chip and Dale are these two chipmunks, who in the early ’90s, this Disney afternoon, they would basically do what’s happening right now, which is they would repurpose old Disney characters, put them in new outfits, new adventures, give them new personalities. This was one of them. Chip and Dale were Donald Duck’s foils in the ’50s, ’60s. They were just nonspeaking chipmunks who ate peanut butter.

Doug: They were background actors or secondary actors. We play them as actors who played these roles.

Dan: They basically get put into… The concept is that they are the actors who played the Rescue Rangers in this early ‘90s sitcom. Now it is 30 years later. They are washed up actors, over the hill. In a Tropic Thunder, Three Amigos kind of storyline, they get embroiled in a real world mystery plot, very reminiscent of a Roger Rabbit kind of world.

John: Great. There’s some animation, but it’s mostly a live action feature.

Dan: It’s live action hybrid. It’s as much as it could be a hybrid as possible, because it’s as if cartoons are real people who live in real Hollywood and the real world, like Roger Rabbit.

John: Roger Rabbit rules.

Dan: Exactly.

John: Fantastic. You have this idea. You’re pitching it to Disney. They’re saying, “Fantastic. That’s great.” The feature version of that is incredibly expensive, the theatrical feature, not only to make it, but also to release it. What happens?

Dan: There are so few slots. We’re writing this, and we’re like, “They’re not going to make this movie.”

John: Yeah, because there’s always going to be a princess movie to make.

Doug: There’s a princess movie, and then there’s the Marvel movies that you have to contend with.

Doug: Star Wars, all of it.

Dan: Again, this is a movie that like, do people really need to see… Are people clamoring to see this, when they have four Thors to make? We’re writing it and we’re really enjoying it, and the response is really positive. That’s not always the case, even when you’re proud of something. Eventually it gets to the place of-

Dan: It just peters out, because they’re trying to figure out how could this be a much bigger four-quadrant movie. We’re like, “That’s just not what this is. It’s a weird offbeat comedy wrapped in a mystery.” Then it just peters out and it just sits dormant.

John: It becomes dormant and eventually gets [crosstalk 00:16:16].

Dan: It gets put on the shelf, but to their credit, which you don’t always get, our producers at Mandeville were big fans. Somewhere they met Akiva Schaffer…

Doug: Akiva Schaffer.

Dan: …who’s wildly funny and a great director…

Doug: From the Lonely Island.

Dan: …from the Lonely Island. They were like, “He might be good for this.” They show him the script. He laughs at the title, The Rescue Rangers Reboot That No One Wants. He reads it and he’s like, “I do like this.” At this point, Disney Plus exists now. The combination of those two things gave it new life. Akiva was like, “I’m interested in this.” Disney was excited about him and the idea that maybe you could make a movie that doesn’t have to be-

John: The pressure’s off of it, because it doesn’t have to open on a weekend and make $8 million.j

Doug: It doesn’t have to be a four-quadrant, like Dan is saying, in the same way.

John: Aline, I want to talk to you about your film, because talk about movies they don’t make anymore or movies that’d be hard to make. What was the origin story for Your Place Or Mine? It feels like the kind of romantic comedy that used to be made theatrically a lot, and now it’s harder to make. How did this movie get set up?

Aline: The origin story was that in 2010 when we were making Morning Glory, I needed a place to stay in New York because my per diem wasn’t really covering all of it. Our friend Ted Griffin had a lovely apartment in New York I knew that he wasn’t using full-time, so I asked him if I could stay there. He was living such a bachelor life at the time, that I really enjoyed being a mom in a bachelor space. I thought it would be funny to do a movie about two friends, where the mom is living in the bachelor’s space, and the bachelor is living in the mom’s space. I had that idea for a long time. A lot of the ideas that I’ve ended up doing, I carried around in my brain for a long time. Crazy Ex was one too. What I do is I cradle these little puppies in my arms, and then I wait for someone that I want to raise the puppy with.

My old friend Michael Costigan partnered with Jason Bateman. They had a deal with Netflix, which I think originated around the Ozark series. I had breakfast with them at John Benny’s. It was similar to when I met Rachel and as I was talking to Rachel I went, “You know what? Crazy Ex, she’s going to dig it.” At this breakfast I said to Jason and Michael… I pitched them the idea. They really loved it. The setting up process was, because they had this relationship with Netflix, we just went to Netflix and told the story to our exec at the time, Sarah Bowen, who’s no longer there. It was really easy and straightforward. I didn’t do what I normally have done with pitches, which is to go everywhere and sit in a million rooms. That was a great relief. The development process, the style of development was very different. I don’t actually know to what… I know that part of that is the culture of these streamers. Part of it is the individuals that I was working with. It was a more straightforward, business-like process in an interesting way.

John: Did you feel like when you made your deal at Netflix that it was a deal to develop a script or basically like, “We’re going to have you write the script and we’re probably going to make it.”

Aline: It did feel more like that. We who have been doing this screenwriting gig for a long time have sold in a number of different configurations. Sometimes you’re pitching stuff and everyone’s going, “I don’t know. We’ll give this a shot. Let’s see what happens.” Sometimes you’re writing in a situation where they have an actor, they’re in a rush. They need to do it. You think it might get made. It’s your football to drop. In this case, there was a feeling that they wanted to do romantic comedies that were with stars, maybe bigger stars on the platform. That was the design of it. I felt like that was something that they had identified a need for. As a writer, that’s always the best situation to be in.

What Dan and Doug are describing is you’re making a dish that wasn’t necessarily ordered, in which case the dish has to be that much better. When you’re making a dish that has been ordered, with Devil Wears Prada, not only had that dish been ordered, but people were banging on the table saying, “Where is it?” There’s a relationship between your product and your project and their appetite, but a really great script can overcome what might be a natural disinclination towards the project, which is what Dan and Doug overcame with the inventiveness of their writing.

John: Dan and Doug, it sounds like, holding this metaphor of the dish no one ordered, it was like, “Oh, this is really, really good. We have nothing we can do with it.” Then the world changed, and suddenly, oh, there’s actually a place that this would be perfect for. It sounds like the kinds of movies that Aline likes to make and this idea that she had… Aline, your movie would’ve been hard to set up at a conventional studio, unless you’d actually already had those big actors attached, correct?

Aline: That’s correct. Even then, because it was a star-dependent movie, we had to then get stars. One of the things about being a writer is it’s a fast-moving river. It’s always been. It is now more than ever. The number of buyers, who’s buying, what they’re looking for, it changes really quickly. It’s also interesting, as I said, for John and I, who came up in a quite calcified system where there were only certain types of jobs. I know that people are bemoaning the lack of predictability and consistency in the marketplace right now, but I think there’s a way to look at that as opportunities. When there is this transitional stuff happening, there are people who need certain kind of content. If you can identify who’s looking for what, then you can figure out who wants to buy your particular brand of pierogis.

Dan: Also, something you were saying about cradling your puppies, even more so, nothing’s ever really dead. That’s the other part that is… It’s heartbreaking when things seem like they go away or they die, but they never really do. They’re always gestating in your mind. They’re gestating in the larger business. There very well might be another time where it just makes sense to come back to life in a totally different iteration or a different concept.

John: We’re going to have a question later on that’s really about that, when do ideas actually just come back, or do you just wait for the right time for that idea to come back. Let’s talk about, in addition to the studio features we’ve made, you’ve also made indie features. I’m thinking about Most Likely To Murder, which to me feels like a movie that if it had come out in a streaming time, probably would’ve gone to streaming and it would have had a better home.

Dan: That was a movie that we… I wish that it got more clear traction. I think if it had been made for a Netflix, it would’ve been something that made a lot of sense. We made it. We did it for Lionsgate, but without a clear plan. They were just launching a thing called Studio L, a wisp in the wind, that no one really has any idea what the hell that is anymore. For a moment they were like, “We’re going to make digital movies.” Also they were trying to make straight-to-video comedies. That was not what we were making. It didn’t even really fit in their business model. We ended up selling it as part of a deal to Hulu, but it didn’t get the launch that I think it would’ve gotten if it was something that-

John: My movie The Nines, we debuted at Sundance, had a big debut there, sold off of that. It went to theatrical, but it was just like it never found that home. Two years later, if it had gone to Sundance, a streamer would’ve bought and it would’ve showed up on a streamer, and I could say, “Oh, it’s on Netflix,” or I could point to where they could see it. People tweet at me now, it’s like, “Where can I see your movie?” You could download it on iTunes. It’s frustrating.

Doug: You can buy it on Amazon, which is sort of something, but it’s not-

Dan: The deal with Hulu just ran out, so we’re [crosstalk 00:24:01].

Aline: Side note is that Doug Mand delivers an incredibly hilarious performance in that movie. If you want to see Doug Mand on screen in a film, he’s really funny.

Dan: With one of the more egregiously terrible facial hair performances in history.

Doug: It’s more my facial hair that’s doing the performance and I’m just along for the ride.

John: Dan, you brought up straight-to-video. I had forgotten that term, weirdly, because it just-

Dan: It doesn’t mean anything anymore.

John: That was the equivalent I think of what we’re talking about with streamers, like different genres there. You could make a movie for theatrical or you could make a movie for straight-to-video. There was a pejorative quality saying something goes straight to video. There were things that that was the right place to put that genre of film.

Dan: There’s something great about, again, the marketplace of content now, where yeah, if you want to make a small movie for a particular audience, then great, that’s fine. That’s part of the market.

John: I want to wrap up this part of the conversation by talking about a thing that is different about the actual features or straight to video is really the back end, because there was a clear model for what the back end was going to be like for movies that were made for the actual release or made for home video, because there were residuals. There was ways that you could make your money out of these things. We can share as much as we want to share about what are deals are looking like for this. Aline, for your movie, I hope it’s a huge, ginormous success. I hope that Netflix takes out those little ads saying how big it is, like how Ryan Reynolds’s movies are so big. That won’t impact your financials very much at all. I see you shaking your head. As you are making your deal going into it, are you trying to account for that? How are you thinking about that?

Aline: They gave me an opportunity to direct a movie with big stars and adequate resources. I think in the long run that will benefit me, if you’re looking at the bottom line, which I don’t tend to do that much, but it will benefit me that way. That’s really how I think about that one. With Cruella, it was an outgrowth of the pandemic that it got released day and date during the pandemic. I ended up getting the best upfront definition, because it was on whatever you call pan-demand, which is our best definition. It was day and date with the release. Obviously, the release was depressed by the pandemic. That ended up having a backend that I just didn’t expect.

I think that that’s going to change and evolve and will probably be driven somewhat by actors, because I think the upfront money might evolve as these companies have more data about what the revenue is actually accruing to them from these packages, because right now it’s guesswork. The actors have been, as with Scarlett and Disney, the actors have been on the forefront of trying to figure out exactly how much money these folks are making and trying to draft off of that. My personal thing didn’t impact me that much, but I can see coming up Prada and 27 Dresses happened to come out in the middle of the DVD boom.

John: Your residuals on those movies but be absurd.

Doug: God bless.

Dan: Oh boy.

Doug: Just make it public, Aline. Let’s open the books up.

Dan: Just write it down and show us.

John: I don’t want to nail you down to a dollar figure, but [crosstalk 00:27:16].

Aline: It’s a lot.

John: Millions of dollars.

Aline: They were right in that zone. Really what money means for a writer is time to do stuff you love. Those were so meaningful to me early in my career in terms of, hey, I’m going to take a break and do Crazy Ex, which was a pay cut for me in certain respects, because I have a pretty steady residual stream. All these new models are going to affect writers in terms of the kinds of choices they can make. I will say that the opportunities that streamers have almost everyone that came up in my generation to do things that they’d always wanted to do, that there wasn’t necessarily outlets to make in either the network television or the traditional studio, which seemed to take turns being the sausage factory. It used to be that TV was grinding out mid-range hot dogs and then it was features that were doing that and then the TV became fancy and now it feels like there’s a little bit of a shift going underway. All of those changes that you have to track as a writer, in my particular case I was balancing the fact that they were giving me a great opportunity with I wouldn’t get the backend.

Dan: Rescue Rangers, we signed the deal as a theatrical and so there was no discussion of it whatsoever. There’s a writing credit.

Doug: The writing credit bonus.

Dan: The writing credit bonus…

Doug: [Inaudible 00:28:42].

Dan: …that we’ll get when this comes out. I don’t know when we’ll actually get it. Even all that stuff, the movie was in this weird little flux where it was all of a sudden going well, and then there was a moment where they were discussing, “Maybe we will switch it to theatrical.” Then COVID happened. Then they were like, “Nobody’s ever going to go to the movies again.” They started just assuming it was going to be Disney Plus again. Then they started signing all of the actors to Disney Plus, to streaming-only contracts. All of a sudden they got to a point where they’re like, “Oh, we’re back in a world where there is theatrical.” Now we couldn’t even switch back to theatrical if they wanted, because they can’t renegotiate the contract now.

John: It’s a weird time.

Aline: I know some people who made movies just pre-streamer to be in either independent films or festival films and then tried desperately to sell them to a streamer, and in certain instances it was too complicated to do that. They had to watch their movies come out and plunge like zeppelins that’d been stabbed with a pencil. I think streamers are really great for getting movies out there that are just not being made in any other way. I guess that’s probably the most banal statement I could possibly make. There’s just such a huge menu, budget range of things that are being made. It’s almost more like silent films, where they were cranking out, we’re going to make a Tom mix, we’re going to make a romance, we’re going to adapt Lady Chatterley’s Lover, we’re going to do a whole mix of things. John and I will tell you, features for a good 8 to 10 years were not that. It was a very, very limited menu and a very limited genre area that we were given to work in.

John: Let’s transition back to TV, because we have some questions from our listeners that you guys are incredibly well suited to answer. Megana, can you help us out with Christopher’s question here.

Megana: Christopher asks, “A recent deadline article on the 2022 pilot season cited networks as increasingly opting for, quote, ‘presentations’ instead of filming pilots. I’m familiar with this practice for unscripted shows, and to a lesser extent, one-hour dramas, but I’ve never encountered it before for sitcoms. I know John has some experience with the mechanics of a presentation from his DC show with the WB, but I can’t find anything about what a presentation would look like for a sitcom, especially a network sitcom which is already only around 22 minutes long.”

John: Doug, can you talk to us about… Didn’t you do a presentation for your show?

Doug: We did not. That show Pretty Smart for Netflix was a pitch. They saw a place for it. It made sense for their schedule.

John: Did you shoot a pilot or you shot series?

Doug: We went right to series.

Aline: Weirdly enough, I’ve done one.

John: Talk about presentation, Aline.

Aline: I did a presentation, I’m going to say 20 years ago, or maybe even more. It’s a fancy word for no money, to make a scratch track. It’s a bummer. It’s really hard.

Dan: It goes right in the trash. That’s the worst part is you make it, and it’s usually under different contracts, or a lot of the time it’s just different crews. It doesn’t even look the way that the show would look. It’s just a proof of concept.

Doug: This is how we got our break really. It’s where I think presentation should be, which is myself, Dan, and Adam Pally, all best friends, still are, and we had an idea for a sitcom, and then we went out with our own money, none of us had representation, and shot a cold open for the show and an opening credit sequence at under a thousand dollars and then sent it to everyone we knew. That was a proof of concept. I think that’s what presentation should be, as opposed to doing 22 minutes. Better to do like, give me that money and let me show you an example of, for a sitcom, what the comedy feels like, what these characters are like.

Dan: Our next one, we paired with a producer who financed a presentation. They financed maybe a 12-minute presentation for a half-hour sitcom. It was one of those things where again it was super useful. We still ended up selling it to the CW. Before, they were looking to only do dramas, but then Crazy Ex broke that cycle. It was super helpful. They’re great. It’s a lot of work and a lot of money.

Doug: You can’t say that this is what 22 minutes is going to look like, because you’re asking me to do it at a third of the cost, maybe even less. I don’t like the idea of them shifting to that, because that’s just saying let’s just squeeze out as much money as we can. I’d rather say give me that budget and let us do six minutes of the show.

John: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, that was famously a presentation where they shot it themselves. It was a proof of concept for, this is the chemistry between these guys, this is the idea, and that could change everything, as opposed to DC, when I taught that presentation, the idea was that it was a cheaper pilot, so basically you had your pilot script and then you would pick certain screens from that pilot script and have only those. We were shooting things that had to fit back into the original pilot. It was the worst of both worlds. The only thing I would say was helpful for that-

Doug: Wait, I’m sorry, so like Scene 1, Scene 5, Scene 12.

John: Yeah.

Dan: They wanted to use it. If they were going to make a show, they were like, we’re not going back and shooting this.

John: There you go.

Doug: That’s even more make-believe, isn’t it?

Dan: That is all the [crosstalk 00:34:02].

Aline: It’s such a vote of semi-confidence too. It’s like you match with someone on Hinge, and instead of going to dinner with them, you’re like, “I’ll meet you for coffee 15 minutes at 9 a.m.” They’re not going into it with… It’s such a meh. It’s so hard to make things even when everyone is so enthusiastic. When we did it, it just also allowed them to change things and give crazy notes. We ended up with an 11-minute presentation that is one of the craziest documents in my career everywhere. It’s somewhere in there, that closet, on a VCR cassette. It was bonkers. It’s in a weird way better to wait until people really care about what you’re doing and can give you a little support. It also strikes me as hilarious. You know how you can never explain to your parents what you do?

Doug: Oh, god.

Aline: Try explaining a pilot presentation to your parents.

Dan: I will say I think for corporations, shifting the development process towards that is stupid and ridiculous and it’s just a weird way to not pay as much money. I will say this forever. If you can get a little bit of your own money together to make your own pilot presentation, I do think a well-made piece of film can go much farther than a script can sometimes for someone on the come-up.

Doug: Especially if you’re not established.

John: [inaudible 00:35:25] Adam Pally on it. That can show his-

Doug: Exactly. We had an unknown Ellie Kemper in that presentation, at the time, she hadn’t booked anything at that point, and a bunch of people who ended up doing great things. This is always the advice we give to up-and-coming writers is to go out, find your community, and shoot things. It’s hard to get people to read your writing if know one knows you.

Aline: Now you can put them on TikTok. TikToks can go up to five minutes now.

John: There you go.

Dan: Basically a feature.

Aline: You can make something great with your friends and put it on TikTok.

John: Megana, what else do you have for us?

Megana: Jeffery asks about writing gender-agnostic characters. He says, “In my work in progress, my two main characters are women, and I want to encourage gender-neutral casting for everyone else. When describing what these characters do, I’m toying with the idea of using they pronouns for them. For example, Senator McMartin rushes in late for the news conference. They step to the mic, only to spot their former business partner in the front row. Do you think this would be a good general approach to avoid using a default he/she, or do I risk getting a reader who thinks I don’t know how to write? Would this be worth using a reader’s note before the script begins?”

John: Before we discuss this, I want us each to vote, good idea or bad idea. Dan, good idea, bad idea?

Dan: Bad idea.

John: Doug?

Doug: I lean towards bad idea.

John: Aline?

Aline: I lean towards an explanatory note.

Doug: Didn’t vote, Aline. I would’ve leaned towards that too if I knew that was an option, Aline.

Aline: Really political over here today.

John: I’m going to vote bad idea. I’ll give my context and then everyone can weigh in. I totally respect what Jeffery’s trying to do, but I also think that in 2022 they/them pronouns is for characters who identify as not being on the gender binary. To throw up your hands like, “I don’t care,” is actually worse in some ways. I think as a writer you’re making a choice about who you’re putting in there. You cannot be as specific as you want to be if you’re not actually even deciding with the gender of this character is. That’s my instinct here.

Dan: Thank you for taking the lead on that, John.

Aline: Sorry, the question is how do I leave it open to as many types… You can say Officer Rao, and then in parentheses you can say male, female, or nonbinary, parentheses. Then you can say, “I will be using he,” so that they know that… I’m assuming they’re trying to keep it open, not write a nonbinary character, because obviously those would be different things. If you want to encourage them to keep it open, you can give them a gender-neutral name and then note that it could be played by…

Dan: I also want to know when I’m reading someone, especially I haven’t read before, what they envision the character to be. I think that’s okay to do. Then when casting discussions come around, you can always pull back and go, “You know what? This could actually be XYZ and I didn’t think about that.” I think specificity helps. You’re painting a picture for these people with your words.

Doug: Specificity’s everything. It’s everything.

Dan: It becomes more obtuse and more like, okay. It’s a choose your own adventure of like, oh, this is who I’m going to imagine then.

John: Exactly. It’s hard to put that scene in your head if you don’t know what am I even looking at, who is this person. A line is going to read differently from this character versus that character.

Dan: Completely. It’s a non-decision in your script.

Aline: I disagree. I think there’s a lot of times, especially when you’re writing a smaller part, that you can write parentheses, any gender, or parentheses, any ethnicity, so that you’re leaving it open. We’ve done that. We did that a lot.

John: Certainly for characters that basically have essentially no lines, and they’re purely functional, sure, great. You’re doing that sporadically. As Jeffery’s describing, encourage gender-neutral casting for everyone else, you can encourage that when you hand in the script, but you cannot just write that in on the page.

Dan: It’s fine to put a note that says, “Hey, whoever finances and makes this project, please cast openly with gender-neutral casting as much as possible.” It just seems a little cart before the horse. It doesn’t belong in the body of the script in my mind.

John: Also, generally, I think by choosing not to make a choice, if you have a social goal in mind for this, you could make some choices to make some of these roles female that would not always be female, or could be nonbinary that would not otherwise be. Specificity there can actually push your gender forward. Megana, what else do you have for us?

Megana: Great. Margaret asks about page density. She says, “I have a rom-com that is currently 104 dense pages. I snipped and squooshed and killed orphans to get to that svelte size, but now I’m wondering if more white space would make it a more enjoyable read. Do you think slenderness in the hand, measured by number of pages, or ease of quick reading is more important? If the latter, do you have any thoughts about how to put a dense script on a white-space-expanding diet? Where would the extra space be most useful, margins or between lines or everywhere? Nowhere do I have more than four lines of action or description or dialog, but still it looks dense.”

Aline: I’m going to quote Craig Mazin here, which is the return key is your friend. I never do a line of description more than… Rarely more than two, but definitely not more than three.

John: If you read through a bunch of scripts, there’s a wide range of stuff. There’s not one perfect thing to do for this. Judy Kay, don’t change the margins. Don’t try to make your margins bigger. That’s not going to help anybody. Also look at maybe what kind of script are you writing? If you’re writing a script with a lot of dialog, there’s going to be some natural white space there anyway, just because the margins have set in for that. I worry you may be worrying about the wrong things.

Dan: Look, my feeling on page stuff is that it’s purely a psychological tool for the person who’s receiving the script. We’ve all made enough scripts to know that the page count is functionally meaningless. Our shooting script for Rescue Rangers was 175 pages. The actual practical thing, when they re-transcribe the thing you’ve actually put on screen, every little um, eh, huh, it becomes 175 pages, but the movie’s 90 minutes. It doesn’t mean anything, the page count really. It’s just the way that people will receive it in development. Do they feel like it moves? Do they feel like it flows? Does it feel too heavy in their hand? It’s just that dumb stuff. I go home on my weekend read and they have a pile of six screenplays. They’re going to go to the thinnest one first, because they don’t want to take more time.

Aline: It’s a sales document, you’re right. If you open it and you see big, chunky, 10-line paragraphs, you’re like, “No, I’m not in the mood for that.”

John: 100%.

Doug: I don’t want to be prescriptive on it either, but I do think that first page… If I see a first page that is all scene direction, and I like reading… If there’s anything, I’d be like, look at those first couple pages and see what can you thin out to draw the reader in.

Dan: There’s nothing worse than the actions… We’ve done a lot of action movies, a lot of action movie rewrites. When you come in on an action movie where you’re seeing just pages and pages of the action described, you’re telling me the kind of machine gun they’re using, I don’t care. It’s a slog of a read. It’s not particularly interesting. It’s never character-forwarding. That’s probably the biggest thing is that it’s very-

Doug: Character or story.

Dan: Exactly. It just becomes meaningless details. It’s not fun. It’s not a good read.

Aline: I think from a writing standpoint, don’t you guys also think that most of the mistakes people make is too much stuff, not not enough stuff? A lot of times when you’re reading it, it’s like, she’s got a purple T-shirt and a button-down and Levis, and she walks over to the car and she opens it with her right hand. You’re like, which of those things do I care about? Which one of those are you pointing out? You can figure out what color the car is and what shoes they’re wearing later if the important thing is that she’s right-handed because later someone’s going to get stabbed with a left-handed knife or something. That’s what you have to highlight. I think beginning writers often, and I would include myself as a beginning writer for sure, there’s just a tonnage of extraneous detail, because you’re trying to show how beautifully and exquisitely you’ve imagined everything. You can’t do that. It’s like lighting. You’re trying to direct everyone’s attention to exactly where you want it to be.

Dan: You just said it. It’s directing. When you get late in a process and you’re having production meetings and you need to get every single detail in someone’s head, that’s the time to really get granular. Most of that stuff doesn’t need to be in there. You’re just trying to give a vibe a lot of the time.

Doug: You have to ask yourself what matters, I guess. If you’re telling me about the clothing, this is a person who just wears yellow, or you’re telling me what hand they use to open the door, do they have a broken right arm so they have to use their left. I think you have to ask yourself those questions of does this really affect the story, the character. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t need to be there, most likely.

John: Megana, another question for us?

Megana: JJ asks, “On a recent episode, John mentioned how near impossible it is to get a musical going at the moment. I have a musical out to buyers right now, and it’s been a lot of passes so far. The feedback has all been positive. People love the script, but more than a handful of buyers have said they simply can’t get a musical across the line right now. I wrote it in 2019 before the unsuccessful theatrical runs of a few notable musicals changed the landscape. My question is, what do you do when a script that excited agents, producers, and the director at the time it was written is ready to hit the market at a less than friendly time for the genre? Is a second chance possible a few years down the road? Is it dead? I’m very bummed at the moment and not too optimistic about the remaining places we are out to. Has this ever happened to either of you before?”

John: Yeah, this just happened to be. JJ could basically be just me writing. I did take a musical out. We basically went to all the streamers. Going into it, I’d heard musicals are really tough because of Dear Evan Hansen, because of West Side Story not working, but also just a whole slew of things, and so that certain streamers are saying no. They didn’t want to hear a pitch, because they said no. Other places, like, “Oh, we’re excited to hear the pitch.” I go in, it’s like, “It’s just so good. No, we can’t do a musical. I can’t get this approved,” which is heartbreaking but it feels [crosstalk 00:45:40].

Doug: You told me this the other day, and my heart sunk, because I am in the thick of a musical that I sold with Rachel Bloom to Amazon. On the other part of the subject, this is a movie that Rachel and I had developed a handful of years ago, took it out to all the places that do this stuff, all nos. We were like, “All right, it’s dead.” Then several years later, there was an executive shakeup at Amazon. The junior exec who loved it got promoted. His boss left. He had a new boss. He was like, “I have different directives. I’ve been thinking about this movie for years. Are you guys still open to do it with me?” We were like, “Yeah.” It again came back to life in this way that we had totally put it to bed. We’re in the thick of developing a musical for Amazon. I hope that all these things are conditional, because I would like for it to be a real movie.

John: It sounds like your movie’s already a little bit set up at a place. That definitely helps. It’s already in the track. Whether it’ll get that green light is the question.

Doug: Exactly.

John: You also have the track record of you and Rachel working on it. It also reminds me of Rescue Rangers, which is basically like there was a moment in which this was the way, the place that we could make it, and then it just goes away again. With musicals, we are just putting a pin in it. We will revisit after… There’s musicals that are in the pipe right now that could be huge hits.

Aline: It’s original musicals that are the problem, because Mamma Mia, Glee, things that draw on existing songs do way, way better. Having backed ourselves against the wall with this, with Crazy Ex, the thing I will share, when we were testing the Crazy Ex pilot, Rachel starts singing 10 minutes in. When you test TV, you have dials. The episode starts, and people are into it. People always responded extremely well to Rachel. People are enjoying the pilot. You can see the enjoyment line going up, up, up, up, up. There’s a scene she quits her job. Then the second she starts singing, when I’m telling you nosedive, it was as if everyone in the testing had just yanked their dial to zero. I remember turning to Rachel and saying, “That’s a traditional show tune, so maybe that’s why.” Then later in the episode there’s an R and B song with a rap solo in it, which has Rachel in her underwear for most of it. Same thing, they’re loving it, the dial’s really high. The second people start singing, the whole audience cranks it to the left.

If you looked at it, audiences have an innate allergy to songs they haven’t heard before in that format. I’m not sure why that is. It is a humongous overcome. If you’re doing Bohemian Rhapsody or the Elton John movie or Mamma Mia, people get excited when they hear those songs. I wonder if there’s ever a world where you take the Olivia Rodrigo album, and before you even release it as an album, you already have some sort of script ready to go so that once that becomes a hit, you have something that you can put into production with existing songs that are already a hit. It has to be a hit somewhere else in order to live in a comfortable… It’s very, very difficult. While our show had a certain cult status, we were for many, many months the lowest rated show on network television.

Doug: I don’t know if we were going to get to this before. I think it’s all connected in terms of when you let go of a project after you’ve made it and maybe it has been passed on. To talk about Rescue Rangers for a second, something that Dan and I actually haven’t spoken about that much is the idea of open writing assignments and doing free work. We were brought in on a different open writing assignment and asked to do free work, being like, “What’s your take on this property?” We spent a lot of time breaking out a take. We were like, “Why would we do this? This is such a long shot anyway.” We really liked the take. Then they passed on it. Then when Rescue Rangers came around, we were like, “There are some parts of this that are helpful.”

I think that it just goes to show that… There was a feeling of like, all that work was for absolutely nothing. I don’t think that’s ever the case. That’s the bit of silver lining in it. This is not to tell people to go out and do free work ad nauseum. There is an aspect of like, oh, that came back. That’s not done. It doesn’t have to be someone else green-lighting the same, exact thing. There were elements of it that we were like, “Let’s look back at that,” and be like, “There are elements that we can pitch for the Rescue Rangers and create around them.” That was very rewarding, because we’ve done so much. We all have done pitching on things that never went anywhere, never got paid to do. That time spent developing an idea is not a wasted time.

John: I’ll say that this musical that I wasn’t able to get set up, I did have 12 good meetings with places, and I have relationships with those places that I didn’t before. I didn’t get the thing going, but at least I know which of those executives I like. I definitely know which executives I will never, ever, ever work with. There’s a list of two or three people I kept telling my agents, “I will never work with her.”

Doug: Great.

John: That was good too.

Doug: Also, there’ll be a hit musical in five years.

John: Exactly.

Doug: All of a sudden there’ll be a boom for musicals, and then this’ll come back to life.

John: The two things that are in production right now that will come out soon. There’s 13 at Netflix, which could be great, but no one knows the songs. Then Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell have a movie for Apple TV Plus, a Christmas Carol story, which is-

Aline: The two-part Wicked movie.

John: The two-part Wicked movie will also happen. That’s already known properties. On the animation side, I have Toto, which is a musical, but it’s also animation, which has special rules.

Aline: It has special rules. With respect to the projects, you have that, you own that. That’s in your computer and in your brain. My company is called Lean Machine, but I often had this joke that I was going to call it Dead Horse Productions because if I believe in it, I will drag it around indefinitely. A lot of the things that I’ve gotten made are things that I just would not give up on. Crazy Ex was one of those. Every single television network that you’ve ever heard of has passed on it multiple times. I am a big believer, it’s a good idea… John, you’ll be sitting at [inaudible 00:52:10] with someone and they’ll say, “I’m looking for this.” You’ll say, “That’s funny, because I happen to have one of those.”

John: It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is a television show which I loved when it came out. My daughter had never seen it. We watched the pilot to Lost this past week.

Doug: Oh my god, [crosstalk 00:52:27]. We got to talk about this.

Dan: We were just talking about it.

Doug: I actually have this debate constantly. I’m sorry to interrupt your One Cool Thing.

John: I believe the pilot to Lost holds up remarkably well, incredibly well. I’m going to put a link in the show notes to the pilot script for it, which I never actually read. It’s very, very dense on the page. It’s not what I would normally like to read. It’s so good. It includes a bunch of scenes that are dropped out of the show. As I was watching it, I was just noting the act breaks in it and how long before we get to that first act being done. It’s just a genius thing. I feel like in many ways, the same… Aliens was the script that I always kept going back to to look at how you write action. I feel like people should need to look at the Lost pilot script again just in terms of how you do that show, because I’ve seen so many versions of that show that are trying to be the Lost pilot. The Lost pilot is just so much better, so smartly done.

Dan: The Lost pilot is spectacular. There’s so many episodes of that show that are spectacular. Can you divorce the ending from any other part of it? This is my fear and feeling, that the ending abandons so many of the things that were needed and asked of the audience that I don’t think it’s a fair ask to start it.

John: To start watching Lost?

Dan: I don’t think it’s appropriate.

John: Oh my gosh. I think Lost is an absolute delight. I encourage people to watch Lost. You cannot watch Lost without watching the Lost pilot. Really, what I’m encouraging everyone to do is just watch the Lost pilot. It’s on Hulu right now.

Dan: It’s a great pilot. It’s going nowhere, guys.

Doug: It goes somewhere for a very long time.

Dan: It leads to nothing.

Doug: I don’t completely agree with that.

Dan: It’s a winding road down into a dirt pit.

Doug: You might be sending your daughter down a path that will be ultimately depressing and unsatisfying, but that journey is fantastic.

John: I had David Lindelof on the show. One of the things he says is the the experience of people who watch Lost all at once is so different than the experience that we had watching it week after week. Things like when there’s two characters who get trapped in a jail thing for six weeks or something, six episodes I think, it’s excruciating, but the people who watched those episodes all together, it was like, oh, that actually tracks and makes a lot of sense. I do feel like a person who’s watching Lost now is getting a very different experience than we did having it strung out over the course of-

Dan: Also, they have access to all the spoilers immediately. Maybe that’s to the benefit, where the what’s in the box question isn’t as loaded, because they know where this is going. They’re signing up for it.

John: The single best cold open ever on an episode was when you get inside the hatch for the first time.

Dan: Oh my god, I think about that all the time. It’s seared into my brain. I’m like, “We’re going in. We’re going in.”

Doug: I sing that song to myself all the time.

Dan: Exactly. Again, I was just so obsessed with that show, to the point where it was actually one of the things that I started really connecting with my wife about when we started dating. We went to a Lost exhibit, where they showed us all of the props from the show. I was so deeply, deeply in love. We were getting into all the weird Fibonacci math equation mysteries. Megana remembers that.

Doug: You guys were made for each other.

Dan: There’s a personal aspect to this.

John: Doug, do you have a One Cool Thing for us?

Doug: Yeah, I actually do. It is music-related. It is an app that’s been around I think for a while, but no one ever seems to know it when I talk about it. It’s called Radioooo with four O’s. It’s world music that is really fun. The music is curated by country and decade. You just go on and you can either let them pick randomly for you… This morning, I was driving my daughter to school. We were listening to music from Angola in the 1980s, and she loved it. You’re discovering things that you’re not getting on your Discover Weekly. It goes all the way from 1900 to 2020. It covers almost every single country in the world. It’s really, really great.

Dan: That’s awesome.

John: Dan, do you have a One Cool Thing to share with us?

Dan: Aline knows that the pandemic, I became a real sauce boy. I love condiments.

Doug: I think he was always a sauce boy.

Aline: Gregor and I were threatening during the pandemic to start an Instagram account called Condimentally Yours.

Doug: We were like, “Wait, is this a full TV show?”

Dan: Condiments, spices, sauces are really my obsession right now. My favorite one-stop shop for Middle Eastern spices, because that’s my favorite cuisine, is New York Shuk.

John: It’s an online store or LA?

Dan: I think it has a brick and mortar in New York, but it’s an online store. It goes all over the world. It’s beautiful packaging, great website. You get your preserved lemons there, your harissa, get your hawaij, get your za’atar. Get all the stuff, baharat, a lot of really important things.

Doug: All things you didn’t know you needed.

Dan: Exactly. A lot of important secondary stuff.

Aline: Gregor and I are both children of sabras, so we have that Middle Eastern stuff in common.

Dan: Exactly. You can even get a harissa spice and just put harissa spice in stuff without the sauce.

John: Harissa’s great.

Dan: Harissa’s great.

John: That’s great.

Dan: I highly recommend you go to New York Shuk, S-H-U-K, and buy their stuff. I’m not being paid.

Doug: You should be.

Dan: I love them.

John: Aline, you have a One Cool Thing for us?

Aline: I do have a One Cool Thing. My One Cool Thing is Megana, because I’ve been listening to… I listened to the 20 questions episodes. I find that I have a little leap of joy in my heart when I know Megana’s going to be on an episode, because I really enjoy hearing from younger writers, and especially younger women. I think there is lots to learn from writers that are older, but I honestly learn so much from not just writers but executives, the people at my company who are younger. I love to hear about what they’re experiencing and what the market looks like for them and how they’re breaking in. I love Megana and Craig. That’s one of my favorite duos. Then Megana and John have their own special magic. I really enjoy it when I have that little leap that you have when you are watching an episode of your favorite TV show and you see that Reese Witherspoon is guest starring on Friends or something. I think Megana is a rather modest person, but she’s actually, I think, inviting a lot of people into Scriptnotes. She works her butt off. Megana, you are my One Cool Thing.

Doug: Wow. What a voice too.

Megana: Oh my gosh. I’m sorry, I have to go. I have to go lie down. I don’t know how to process how happy I am. That’s so nice. Thank you.

Doug: No, we need you. That’s the whole point. We need your voice.

Megana: Thank you so much. That’s so kind, Aline.

Aline: I love it. I wish there had been someone like that when I was a young writer. I wish there had been someone that I could listen to who was also trying to figure out how to put all these pieces together. You’re trying to figure out an entire industry and your own voice at the same time. I was cleaning out some cabinets. I came across a file that I had of original ideas that I was going to pitch. Oh my god. It was so scattershot. I was trying to work in every genre and tone imaginable. They’re insane. I love that period of your life when you’re trying to synthesize all these things. I have kids who are on their way to being grown. My son is graduating from college. I think embracing that time in your life when you’re on the on-ramp… I really love to hear from people like that. It’s been a nice addition to Scriptnotes and the Gen X codgers that we are.

John: That was our show for this week. We are still trying to sort out our schedule. Next week is likely to be a best of episode as we get back onto our normal Tuesday schedule. Scriptnotes is always produced by our amazing Megana Rao, our One Cool Thing Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Pedro Aguilera. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin, I’m @johnaugust as long as I stay on Twitter. Dan, Doug, are you guys on Twitter?

Dan: Yeah, @gregorcorp, C-O-R-P.

Doug: I’m @thedougmand, M-A-N-D.

John: @thedougmand. Aline, you’re using Twitter right now?

Aline: I’m @alinebmckenna.

John: Fantastic.

Aline: You’ll find important things like what is the best Kansas song. I’ve got important things on my Twitter. I really do.

John: Stuff you’d need to know. We have T-shirts and they’re great. You can find them at Cotton Bureau. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you can find transcripts and sign up for our weeklyish newsletter called Inneresting, which has lots of links to things about writing. You can sign up to become a Premium Member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back-episodes and Bonus Segments, like the ones we’re about to record on having a newborn in the house. Aline, Doug, Dan, thank you so much for coming on.

Dan: Thank you.

Doug: Thank you. This was great.

Aline: Woot woot.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Doug and Dan, you have very young kids. Dan, I know your baby was born at the very start of the pandemic.

Dan: Yeah, March 20th.

John: Wow, that’s just right in the heart of it.

Dan: Right at the start.

John: Doug, one kid, two kids? Where are you?

Doug: One child, born end of 2017.

John: A little more experience then on this. You had to be doing a lot of writing work while this new life was living in your house. I want to talk a little bit about becoming a new parent and trying to maintain your career and trying to maintain your life, because I remember when I had our daughter, that first month was just so, so, so bleak. Then the moments where I would try to sneak away and actually write, I felt guilty for abandoning my other half and my child. What are some strategies that, Dan, you’re implementing right now with your kid?

Dan: Honestly, this is a very ritzy strategy, but I have an office in my house. I had the place I would go and work. At a certain point, my daughter turned a cognition corner and no longer lost track of me when I closed a door.

John: Object permanence happened.

Dan: Exactly. She would just bang on the door, just completely just bang until I’d come back out. Working at home became actually impossible. Me and my wife rented a little studio apartment down the street. We’d just walk down the street to go write in this little studio apartment.

John: You throw some goldfish on the floor for your daughter.

Dan: Exactly.

Doug: A big jug of water.

Dan: We put her in a bubble and just let her roll around the house with some water and goldfish. Just a little bit of private space has been by far the thing that has enabled it. I know that’s not necessarily available to everyone. That’s my first advice. Doug, do you have any particulars?

Doug: I do think a room of one’s own is really important to get out. Right before the pandemic, a year before… I have an office as well. My wife is a writer. I would go to a workspace. I loved it. I just loved writing from there. Then coming back home, it was really hard when the pandemic hit, because the guilt is what I felt. I have a garage where I can work out of. The bathroom was inside. I would go in. I’d be like, “No, dad’s not home right now. I’m just here.” There was a guilt. It’s like, you’re home, why aren’t you with your daughter? These are amazing, precious moments. I think if you can create a space, even if that’s, now that the pandemic is not as intense… It’s still quite real. Go somewhere to work. I think that’s helpful.

Also, just be vigilant with your scheduling, just being like, “This is the time that I write.” I think we all waste probably a lot of time not writing when we say we’re writing. If you have an hour, write for an hour. You’ll probably find that you’re getting more done in that time. Don’t beat yourself up for that. Then when you’re with your child, I would say whenever you can not bring your phone in, that’s been a big thing. Your child can sense when you’re not there emotionally. You’re looking at your phone. I try to give my daughter at least 20, 25 minutes where my phone is in another room and I’m just there with her. That makes me feel like not such an absentee father.

John: We’re recording this in the space over my garage. It was an absolute godsend when we had a kid. We would just make a show like, “Papa’s going off to work, bye.” I would walk up the stairs.

Doug: Close the window blinds so she can’t see you.

John: My former assistant, Stuart, was working downstairs. At a certain point she became mobile, and she would come in and talk to Stuart, but she had no idea that I worked upstairs.

Doug: Oh my gosh.

Dan: Oh my gosh.

John: I’d just be very, very quiet. Then eventually she started to wonder, “Why is Papa’s car still here?” It was like, “Oh, he must’ve walked to work.” Not technically a lie. I did walk to work.

Doug: Yes, you did.

John: Eventually, when it became clear, like, “Does Papa work upstairs?” we had a conversation about, “This is workspace. This is home space. You’re basically not allowed up there.”

Dan: The sneaking around my child is the most ludicrous thing. If I have to stop back in during the middle of the day, I will use the backdoor, I will tiptoe. I will pray to God that I am getting out of her line of vision so that she doesn’t see me, because if she sees me in the middle of the day then it’s like, I got put in a half hour.

Doug: At what age did you tell your daughter? Was there any-

John: Blow-back?

Doug: “That’s what’s been going on this whole time.”

John: She was either four or five before she really understood that-

Doug: She still doesn’t know [crosstalk 01:06:14].

John: Then at a certain point, they stop caring completely. Aline, we should talk about… We have older kids now.

Aline: I’m on the other end of it, because my kids are 19 and 22. In case anybody is feeling really guilty about it, I left… A friend of mine gave me an office in his office when my Charlie, my older son, was 18 months old. I always had an office outside the house after that. I have neurotically asked my children many, many times if they felt deprived by having a parent, specifically a mother who was working. They insist that it was fine and they actually liked it. That’s either what they’re saying to me so that I can continue paying their rent or they actually believe that. If you’re used to writing and you’re used to expressing yourself and that makes you happy, in whatever way writing can make you happy, but if that is a form of self-care, just remember that a happy, fulfilled parent is a wonderful thing. Specifically, I hope that moms don’t beat themselves up about finding a workspace for themselves.

Doug: It’s a great thing for your child to see.

Aline: Yeah, is that you’re being productive.

Doug: Yeah, this is Mom working, this is Dad working. It’s also part of life.

Aline: Definitely. One of the things that August and I have in common is a deep love of babies. Man, I love a baby.

John: Oh god, I love babies so much.

Aline: I spend so much time trying to spend time with Gregor and Rachel’s baby, especially during the pandemic, I was getting tested as much as I could so I could go and see her and see them. One time Dan said to Rachel, “Aline does know that this is just a baby, right, and it’s not her baby?”

Dan: I just want to make sure you know.

John: [crosstalk 01:07:55] those contracts like all output isn’t shared.

Dan: Exactly.

John: You’re writing partners.

Dan: Exactly.

Aline: Man, I loved it. It’s nice also, you get to work and you get to go home and have this most magnificent thing to interact with that takes your mind off of work and who doesn’t care that you got notes about you need to dig deeper.

Dan: Doug said this, but a writing day for me, my writing process truly was like, ease in around 11, and then do nothing for 6 hours. Then in my mind I was like, I’m only good at writing for a really intense burst from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. That’s how I lived my whole life. I was like, “I’m a late-night writer.” Boy, that went out the window with a kid. To Doug’s point, it’s just like, no, I’m clocking in. It just got me much better at the idea of clocking in, clocking out. These are my work hours, and I need to be able to make this a functional day job in a very real sense, where it’s like I need to be home by 5:30 to start doing bedtime kid stuff.

Aline: That’s why we did the Crazy Ex room the way we did. We had so many parents. My kids were 10-ish and 13-ish. I’d just want to get out of there. We had a lot of parents in that room. As the show went on, we had more and more. I had learned from my kids being little, yeah, you become much more efficient, and you want to get the eff out of there. We also didn’t do a lot of post-room lingering. It does make you more focused and efficient.

Doug: I would also say, if you don’t have the means, also I really like writing in a library. I had been doing that a lot. There’s something about being around other people working. If it’s not a workspace, there are wonderful libraries in most cities and towns. You really feel like you’re clocking in. I like that feeling of… It’s work that I enjoy. In there you’re really like, “I don’t want to be here all day. I’m going to do an hour and a half, two hours.”

Dan: I don’t want to go the bathroom.

Doug: Yeah, don’t want to go the bathroom and I don’t want to look at… Looking at websites and browsing the internet in the library is a very just gross feeling. You’re just like, “Just let’s write. Let’s just do it.” That’s a resource that a lot of people don’t use.

John: One challenge with being gone for most of the day and coming back at 5, 5:30, that’s often the absolute worst time of day for a kid. That’s often the time when they’re most upset. I think sometimes a vicious cycle happens where you feel bad for being gone all day, but your kid feels bad because it’s 5:30 and they’re hitting unhappy hour, and so you’re the bad parent who’s returned. You may need to adjust your schedules a little bit just so you can get a little bit more happy time with your kid too.

Dan: I haven’t had that yet. Thankfully, she’s still pretty decent at that hour. I’m sure it’ll get worse.

John: It’ll get worse. Thank you guys so much again for this conversation about parenthood.

Doug: Thank you.

Dan: Thank you. Thanks, Aline.

Aline: Thanks, Scriptnotes peeps.

Links:

  • Chip ’n Dale: Rescue Rangers May 20th on Disney+
  • Your Place or Mine coming soon!
  • Los Angeles Plays Itself
  • Presentations versus Pilots
  • New York Shuk for Saucy Boys
  • Radiooooo App
  • Lost Pilot read the script here.
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Dan Gregor on Twitter
  • Doug Mand on Twitter
  • Aline Brosh Mckenna on Twitter
  • Craig Mazin on Twitter
  • John August on Twitter
  • John on Instagram
  • Outro by Pedro Aguilera (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

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