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Words on the page

Observations on the evolution of screenwriting based upon reading one script from 1974

December 19, 2011 Formatting, Words on the page

Last week, I needed to read a screenplay written in the early 1970s. I think it’s the earliest-dated script I’ve read that wasn’t reprinted in a book.

It had clearly been typed. As in actually typed on a typewriter. Corrections had been made with a pen. I couldn’t smell cigarette smoke on it — this was a photocopy — but I definitely got the sense that an ashtray had sat beside the typewriter as it was written.

On the page, it looked largely like current screenplays — elements had roughly the same margins — but there were some noticeable differences:

* ANGLES (especially POVs) were called out and given their own scene numbers in ways we never would today.

* Locations got much less writer attention. In this script, a kitchen is a kitchen. In today’s scripts, every location gets at least a color line (“stainless steel and subway tiles, with an $8000 convection oven that’s never been used.”)

* There were a lot of “AD LIBBED goodbyes” and such scattered throughout the script. You don’t see that much today, even in projects that use ad-libbing. If a character has a speaking part, you write the lines.

By “evolution,” I don’t mean that screenwriting has gotten better, by the way. It’s just gotten different, the way fashions change. Modern screenplays work very hard — too hard? — trying to make everything a fun read.

This script, at least, seemed much more interested in just getting it done:

Tom looks Barbara square in the eye. Barbara looks to Norman. After a beat, Norman stands and leaves.

PAN BACK to Barbara. She returns to her knitting.

It’s not thrilling, but you know what you’re going to see. There’s a lot to be said for that.

More on Archer’s odd pre-laps

December 6, 2011 Follow Up, Television, Words on the page

Having seen my post about [Archer’s semi-pre-laps](http://johnaugust.com/2011/archers-semi-pre-laps), the good folks at FX sent over a copy of Adam Reed’s actual script for the Skytanic episode I cited. (FX seems awesome. Let’s all write shows for them.)

I’d been working off a transcript, so it’s interesting to see how those scenes [actually looked on the page](http://johnaugust.com/Assets/archer_excerpt.pdf). (Complete scripts of Archer are available in the Writers Guild library, FYI.)

Some differences worth noting:

1) On the page, we see Malory’s dialogue as a true pre-lap, occurring before the cut.

LANA

Cyril! It’s not what it looks like!

MALORY (O.S.)

Well then what is it?!

INT. MALORY’S STATEROOM -- CONTINUOUS

Malory, arms akimbo, surveys the room. Signs of a struggle. Pam stands nervously over by the bed, wringing her hands. Cheryl/Carol lies face down on the bed, nude and lifeless.

To me, what’s most interesting about Archer’s technique is not exactly where the cut is falling, but the implied line that sets up the next scene. Both Lana and Pam apparently said, “It’s not what it looks like!” Malory’s line seems to answer both questions.

In other cases, the cut repeats the last thing said, but changes the context. Earlier in the episode:

LANA

Psh! Cyril?! With another woman?!

(gestures at herself)

Malory, seriously: look at me.

INT. MALORY’S STATEROOM -- CONTINUOUS

CLOSE ON Cheryl/Carol, looking up at us, eyes slightly bulged, as a man’s hands squeeze tightly around her shapely throat.

CHERYL/CAROL

Look at me! Look at and choke me!

In both cases, the writer is calling attention to the cut. It’s like a literary star-wipe. The technique works great in a heavily-stylized show like Archer, but would feel very wrong in more realistic shows.

2) In Archer scripts, vocal noises without true dialogue are written in brackets rather than parentheses:

LANA

[mortified gasp]

3) A recurring joke in the show is that Malory’s secretary keeps changing her name. I love that they call her Cheryl/Carol in the script, despite the extra typing that requires.

4) Look at what Singh is wearing:

And there is Lana, stripped back down to her bra/panties/stockings, with Singh in the background, stripped down to his Spreefs, rubbing scented OIL on his belly.

Spreefs! It’s funny and just right. Even though the viewer will never see that great word, it makes the script read better.

Scene description matters. It’s a little gift the writer gives the reader.

Archer’s semi-pre-laps

December 5, 2011 Words on the page

The high winds knocked out our satellite TV, so I’ve been watching previous episodes of FX’s animated series [Archer](http://www.fxnetwork.com/shows/originals/archer/) instead.

If you haven’t seen Archer, it should be added to your list immediately.

Archer does a strange thing I haven’t seen often: the final line of a scene serves as the first line of the next scene.

It’s not a true pre-lap, in which you hear a line of the next scene’s dialogue before the cut. Rather, the same line serves as both the button of the current scene and the (unspoken) opener of the next.

In most cases, the scenes aren’t related at all:

CYRIL

So, uh, yes, the bottom line is that I was unfaithful to you...two, well, three times I guess if a dry-humpy choker counts. And if you can’t see it in your heart to forgive me, I will forgive you, because that’s what love is, Lana. It’s...forgivey, which is not a word – come on, Figgis!

REVEAL he’s standing outside the Von Zeppelin suite, talking to himself.

CYRIL

All right, here we go.

He KNOCKS. Lana opens the door in bra and panties. Back by the bed, Singh rubs himself with oil.

CYRIL

(gasps)

LANA

Oh, why?

SINGH

Hello!

CYRIL

So that’s your idea of a break, huh?

He storms off.

LANA

Oh, Cyril! It’s not what it looks like!

CUT TO:

INT. FIRST CLASS CABIN – DAY

MALLORY

Well then, what is it?

PAM

OK.

REVEAL Cheryl, naked except for a bra, lying face-down on the bed.

PAM

So...Cyril got in over his head...

MALLORY

Jesus! God, did he kill her?

PAM

No no no -- he ran from her, to go confess to Lana, but so then this one starts freakin’ out and long story short, I kinda had to drown her in the tub.

MALLORY

So you killed her?

Cheryl stirs, then COUGHS WATER onto the bed. She passes out again.

PAM

Apparently not. So...good news.

(I don’t have the actual script, so I adapted this from a [transcript](http://archerscripts.com/scripts/S01E07.html).)

It’s a fun technique that fits an animated show well. I think it would be hard to pull off in live-action, in part because it greatly limits your editing ability — you’re locked in on both sides of the cut.

Because of how it’s made, animation can be exactly as tight as you need it.

And because you’ll ask, this parenthetical without dialogue —

CYRIL

(gasps)

— is totally legit in animation. Any vocal sound an actor would make gets a dialogue block when writing for animation. Coming from live-action, it looks weird, but it makes a lot of sense when you’re recording voices separately.

His, hers and ours

November 21, 2011 Words on the page

Danielle Sucher put together a browser extension called [Jailbreak the Patriarchy](http://www.daniellesucher.com/2011/11/jailbreak-the-patriarchy-my-first-chrome-extension/) that switches gendered words (such as pronouns) on web sites you visit.

It’s more thought experiment than anything, but I became fascinated with one esoteric issue:

> There is a known bug with the English language itself that I’m dealing with imperfectly at the moment. See, sometimes “her” should translate to “him”, and sometimes it should translate to “his”.

“Her” functions as both an objective pronoun (give the book *to her*) and a possessive pronoun (*her cat* is orange).

Sucher attempts to account for this by looking at the words surrounding “her.” A nearby preposition is a good indication that we’re using the objective form. Here’s her list of matching words:

> aboard, about, above, across, after, against, along, amid, among, around, as, at, before, behind, below, beneath, beside, besides, between, beyond, but, by, concerning, considering, despite, down, during, except, excepting, excluding, following, for, from, in, inside, into, like, minus, of, off, often, on, onto, opposite, outside, over, past, per, plus, regarding, since, than, through, to, toward, towards, under, underneath, unlike, until, up, upon, versus, via, with, within, without, not, and, feel

Numbers, both digits and written out, also signal an objective pronoun.

It’s the kind of thing a native speaker never notices, but ultimately becomes important when teaching the language — particularly when the learner is an algorithm, like Sucher’s extension or Apple’s Siri.

(link via [Faruk Ateş](https://twitter.com/#!/kurafire/status/138711379782803456))

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