John August

Projects

An afternoon at E3

Prince of Persia, Projects

E3 logoYesterday, I went to the giant videogame confab [E3](http://www.e3insider.com/index.aspx) with my friend [Jordan Mechner](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_Mechner), who created [Prince of Persia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_of_Persia:_The_Sands_of_Time) and is writing the movie version for Disney. We were there to see footage from the next Prince of Persia game — which looks damn good, what with the chariots and Babylonian rooftops and all. (And no, I’m not breaking any non-disclosure agreements. I saw exactly what anyone on the convention floor would have seen.)

For those who don’t know, E3 is huge. Huge. Everywhere you looked, you saw flashing screens and guys with laptops waiting in lines to buy overpriced sandwiches. As Jordan put it, “It’s like a giant airport, and every flight just got cancelled.”

You often read about how the videogame and movie industries are such close cousins, but the movie industry doesn’t have anything that really compares to this. Sure, there’s the [Cannes Film Festival](http://www.festival-cannes.fr/) and other international film markets, but those are really geared towards distributors. The target audience here was the hard-core gamer, the super-consumer whose tends to be the opinion-leader. Unlike a film festival, they’re not just showing you a trailer for the game, they’re putting a controller in your hands. They want you hooked.

It’s like Crack Con 2005.

Buy clothes Charlie Bucket couldn’t afford

Charlie, Projects

wonka t-shirtMy best-dressed friend [Jen](http://highcamp.com/) sent me a link to [Kitson](http://www.shopkitson.com/index.php?pageId=3&commerce=1&categoryId=185), which has started selling a line of exclusive, and expensive, [Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-related merchandise](http://www.shopkitson.com/index.php?pageId=3&commerce=1&categoryId=185).

I certainly don’t lay any claim to the idea of Golden Tickets or t-shirts, but I was a little giddy to see that three of the slogan shirts feature dialogue from the script (as opposed to Roald Dahl’s book, or the original movie). The shirts in question are:

[“I’m sorry. I don’t speak American.”](http://www.shopkitson.com/index.php?pageId=3&productId=1956&categoryId=185) (Spoken by Mr. Salt.)

[“Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum I hate the most.”](http://www.shopkitson.com/index.php?pageId=3&productId=1954&categoryId=185) (Spoken by Willy Wonka.)

and

[“I love de Chocolate!”](http://www.shopkitson.com/index.php?pageId=3&productId=1955&categoryId=185) (Spoken by Augustus Gloop.)

Okay, the third one is a bit of a stretch, because Augustus says similar things in every version of the story. So I’ll just claim the “de,” since I wrote out his German accent. The fourth slogan shirt, [“There’s no know where they’re going”](http://www.shopkitson.com/index.php?pageId=3&productId=1953&categoryId=185), is also in the script, but it comes directly from Chapter 18 of Dahl’s book.

Obviously, there will be a ton of Charlie-related products over the next few months, so I won’t point out every promotion. And to anticipate the first question in the comments section, no, the screenwriter doesn’t get any piece of the merchandise.

But if Kitson wants to send me a t-shirt or two, I’ll take a men’s large. Not XL. L. Cheers.

Good interviews about Father Knows Less

Film Industry, Projects

UPDATE: 4/28/2011 — Links to “Father Knows Less” IMDb listing no longer active.

UPDATE: 4/28/2011 — All podcast links have been updated.

podcastOkay. It’s not actually podcasting, but behold the site’s the first-ever audio links.

I’m currently rewriting a script called Father Knows Less, originally written by [Aline Brosh McKenna](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0112459/maindetails). It’s the story of “a loving but aloof guy (Dustin Hoffman) abandoned by his trophy wife, [who] finds himself in charge of raising his young kids. In order to connect with them as their father, he turns to his children from his first marriage for help.” (synopsis by [IMDb](http://imdb.com))

Tonally, it’s a dramedy in the James L. Brooks mode. More [Jerry Maguire](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116695/combined), less [The Pacifier](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0395699/combined). New Line is the studio.

As it happens, Claude Brodesser of Variety has been tracking this project on his KCRW radio show [The Business](http://www.kcrw.com/etc/programs/tb), and has had various members of the production on to talk about the process. It’s a refreshingly candid discussion of how a movie wends its way through development.

You can start with the [initial conversation](http://www.kcrw.com/etc/programs/tb/tb040621looking_deep_inside) with McKenna, agent Devra Lieb, and producer [Laura Hopper](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1348882/maindetails) about the pitch, and how the project was set up. The discussion starts at 11:08.

Next, there’s a [follow-up conversation](http://www.kcrw.com/etc/programs/tb/tb040719cashin_in_on_the_pas) with McKenna and Hopper as they start looking for a director. Starts at 2:51.

Finally, Brodesser [talks with the movie’s director](http://www.kcrw.com/etc/programs/tb/tb050411battlestar_galactica), who explains his decision to take the project, and the discussion about bringing on a different writer (which ended up being me). The talk starts at 9:20.

Mongolian characters speaking Chinese

Charlie's Angels, Rant

full throttlerantI’ve been thinking to write you this letter for a while. I saw the movie [Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle](http://imdb.com/title/tt0305357/combined) on a movie channel recently. As a Mongolian, I’m deeply offended by your knowledge about my country.

In the beginning of the movie you show a scene that something is happening in Northern Mongolia and the people in the movie were speaking in Chinese. If you know a little bit about the country you would’ve known that Mongolia has its own, unique language, Mongolian. If you wanted to use Chinese people with their language you should’ve called that place Northern China.

I’m pretty sure that you’re a young and talented writer, but if you don’t know much about other cultures then don’t use them. I’m glad I didn’t pay to see your movie.

— Toshka

The sequence you’re talking about was written in English, with Russian subtitles, because the bad guys were supposed to be Russo-Mongolian. However, when it came time to shoot the sequence, they ended up casting Chinese actors. From a production standpoint, this makes sense: the martial arts team for the movie was largely Chinese, and these are the people who would end up doing the fight sequence anyway.

This is an example of why it’s frustrating being a screenwriter. You get blamed for a lot of things that are completely out of your control: plot holes that arise from editing, crappy dialogue improvised on the set, and supposedly Mongolian actors speaking Chinese.

I’m sorry, Toshka, that the five or six lines spoken in Chinese during the sequence offended you, but I think you’re expecting way too much cultural accuracy from a movie which ignores gravity, plausibility and narrative logic with alarming consistency.

Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle isn’t my favorite movie either, but I can easily think of five better reasons to be frustrated by it:

1. Too many villains. (Four, if you’re counting.)
2. The wrong kind of sexy. Flirtatious, meet slutty. Oh, you’ve met.
3. The whole ring McGuffin. Where’s Frodo Baggins when you need him?
4. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s — huh? Demi Moore can fly?!
5. Bernie Mac? Funny! I just wish I could understand what he’s saying.

I was complicit in at least three of these faults (#1, #3, and #4, begrudgingly), so I’ll gladly accept my share of the blame. But as for the Mongolian problem, nope. Can’t help you there.