Following up on my post about getting your kid into preschool, reader bensitzer tipped me off to an upcoming documentary about the equivalent madness in NYC. You can see the trailer here.
Do you remember newspapers?
Clay Shirky’s piece Newspapers and Thinking the Unthinkable is worth all the links it’s been getting:
When someone demands to know how we are going to replace newspapers, they are really demanding to be told that we are not living through a revolution. They are demanding to be told that old systems won’t break before new systems are in place. They are demanding to be told that ancient social bargains aren’t in peril, that core institutions will be spared, that new methods of spreading information will improve previous practice rather than upending it. They are demanding to be lied to.
He’s writing specifically about print journalism, but it’s hard not to extrapolate the argument to all our paid and unpaid media. What does television look like ten years from now? We don’t know. We scramble to establish bulwarks and business models, all the while quietly suspecting that we’re going to guess wrong.
The newspaper people often note that newspapers benefit society as a whole. This is true, but irrelevant to the problem at hand; “You’re gonna miss us when we’re gone!” has never been much of a business model.
Shirky’s article is a great candidate for the Readability bookmarklet, by the way.
Growing sentences
I linked to this in Off-Topic, but it’s worthy of some attention on the front page as well. Jason Kottke reposted a set of instructions by James Tanner for turning any normal sentence into a David Foster Wallace super-sentence.
Since screenwriting is an art of brevity, it’s a nice change of pace to see just how overstuffed a sentence one can write.
Following Tanner’s instruction, we start with a simple 10-word sentence:
John wanted to play ball, but he sat on the couch.
1. Use them in a compound sentence:
John said he wanted to play ball, but instead he sat on the couch and played videogames.
2. Add rhythm with a dependent clause:
When asked by his sister, John said he wanted to play ball, but instead he sat on the couch and played videogames.
3. Elaborate using a complete sentence as interrupting modifier:
When asked by his sister, John said he wanted to play ball — he told her where to find his mitt — but instead he sat on the couch and played videogames.
4. Append an absolute construction or two:
When asked by his sister, John said he wanted to play ball — he told her where to find his mitt — but instead he sat on the couch and played videogames, his left foot resting on the ottoman, toes flexing at the most perilous virtual encounters.
5. Paralell-o-rize your structure (turn one noun into two):
When asked by his sister, John said he wanted to play ball — he told her where to find his mitt and shoes — but instead he sat on the couch and played videogames, his left foot resting on the ottoman, calf and toes flexing at the most perilous virtual encounters.
6. Adjectival phrases: lots of them. (Note: apprx. 50% will include the word ‘little’):
When asked by his little sister, a ginger-haired cherub with little butterflies on her jean shorts, John said he wanted to play some ball — he told her where to find his well-oiled mitt and second-best athletic shoes — but instead he sat on the faded orange couch and played videogames, his left foot resting on the ottoman, calf and hairy toes flexing at the most thrilling and/or perilous virtual encounters.
7. Throw in an adverb or two (never more than one third the number of adjectives
When asked by his little sister, a ginger-haired cherub with little butterflies on her jean shorts, John said he wanted to play some ball — he told her where to find his well-oiled mitt and, specifically, his second-best athletic shoes — but instead he sat on the faded orange couch and played videogames, his left foot resting on the ottoman, calf and hairy toes flexing at the most thrillingly perilous and/or maddeningly difficult virtual encounters.
8. Elaboration — mostly unnecessary. Here you’ll turn nouns phrases into longer noun phrases; verbs phrases into longer verb phrases. This is largely a matter of synonyms and prepositions. Don’t be afraid to be vague! Ideally, these elaborations will contribute to voice — for example, ‘had a hand in’ is longer than ‘helped’, but still kinda voice-y — but that’s just gravy. The goal here is word count.
When asked by his little sister Bella, a ginger-haired suburban cherub with two make-believe horses and little yellow butterflies on her jean shorts, John definitely said he wanted to play some ball — he told her where to find his well-oiled mitt and, specifically, his second-best athletic shoes — yet seemed unaware that the white New Mexico sun was crossing the sky and sinking below the foothills as he sat on the faded orange velvet couch and played videogames, his left foot resting on a month-old magazine which was in turn resting on the ottoman, his calf and hairy toes flexing at the most thrillingly perilous and/or maddeningly difficult showdowns with level bosses and their virtual henchmen.
9. Give it that Wallace shine. Replace common words with their oddly specific, scientific-y counterparts. (Ex: ‘curved fingers’ into ‘falcate digits’). If you can turn a noun into a brand name, do it. (Ex: ‘shoes’ into ‘Hush Puppies,’ ‘camera’ into ‘Bolex’). Finally, go crazy with the possessives. Who wants a tripod when they could have a ‘tunnel’s locked lab’s tripod’? Ahem:
When asked by his little sister Bella, a ginger-haired suburban cherub with two make-believe Lipizzaners and little yellow lepidopterae on her Old Navy jean shorts, John definitely said he wanted to play some ball — he told her where to find his well-oiled Nokona mitt and, specifically, his second-best athletic shoes (the Nikes) — yet seemed unaware that Albuquerque’s ghost-white sun was charting its ecliptic path across the sky and sinking below the foothills as he sat on the faded orange velvet couch and played Fallout 3, his left heel resting on the face of Kristen Stewart, who graced the cover of a month-old Entertainment Weekly which was in turn resting on Pottery Barn’s cheapest ottoman, John’s calf and hairy toes flexing at the most thrillingly perilous and/or maddeningly difficult showdowns with the Super Mutants of Vault 87 in pursuit of the Geck, a device he wasn’t sure he even wanted.
Thus, 10 words become 151. And absurd, but that’s the fun.
Some sample sentences to try on your own.
Mary’s car would not start. Her sister was not surprised.
Tom liked cheese. Eating too cheese much hurt his stomach.
The lawn was brown. Tom didn’t know how to fix it.
If you decide to try it for yourself, post the final product, or leave a link in the comments if you’re showing your work.
Cams, rips and release dates
Following up on last week’s post about international release dates and subtitles, I’ve been asking around to find more information about studios’ anti-piracy efforts. I didn’t get into any specific numbers — and I wouldn’t know how seriously to take the numbers anyway.
But based on these conversations, I came across a few broad bullet points worth sharing:
Studios have gotten more sophisticated about putting tracking marks in individual prints, often localized by country, to help them determine the source of a leak. It’s not just the ugly brown dots anymore.
For almost every movie, they can trace back bootlegs to one or two “cams” (in-theater camcorder recordings) and just a handful of subsequent DVD rips. They assign letter grades to these bootlegs based on quality. And quality matters: a cam which rates a “C” won’t be nearly as much a factor as a “B.”
For certain countries, studios will delay theatrical release because of a history of cams originating there. They’ll then release the DVD as soon as possible thereafter.
The subtitles issue becomes important because a cam or rip in the wrong language isn’t especially appealing.
In Italy, where custom greatly favors dubbing over subtitles, you don’t see much piracy until the local language DVD rip leaks.
Obviously, this is only talking about feature films. American television is at least as important to many international viewers, and much harder to lock down.
And for independent film, it’s a whole other clustermuck. You’re dealing with local distributors, so trying to coordinate any worldwide effort is going to be extremely difficult.
Last night, I was talking with another friend about 3D. It hadn’t occurred to me that a 3D film is probably more difficult to cam. Possible, certainly — it’s a fun mental exercise — but not as easy to get something usable.