John August

John

Let’s make Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’ better

Rant

I like Katy Perry. “Teenage Dream” and “Firework” are catchy pop songs. “Not Like the Movies” feels like a ballad from a very contemporary musical. Perry and her collaborators write hits, and that’s not easy.

I also like her new song, “Roar.” It’s another hit, currently at or near the top of the charts.

In the tradition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” or Destiny Child’s “Survivor,” Roar is an empowerment anthem told in the first person about rising up from defeat. The “you” in these songs is the villain.

Here’s the verse of Roar:

YOU HELD ME DOWN, BUT I GOT UP
ALREADY BRUSHING OFF THE DUST
YOU HEAR MY VOICE, YOU HEAR THAT SOUND
LIKE THUNDER, GONNA SHAKE THE GROUND
YOU HELD ME DOWN, BUT I GOT UP
GET READY CAUSE I’VE HAD ENOUGH

There’s been [criticism][critic] that Roar sounds too much like Sara Bareilles’s “Brave.” I think that’s unfair. Sure: both songs have a prepared piano bouncing on the four count, but that sound owes a much bigger debt to “Hard Knock Life” and all its hip-hop kin. Yes, Roar and Brave have similar chord progressions — but so do half the pop songs in history. The fact you can overlay two songs doesn’t mean they’re the same. It just means they [mash-up nicely][mashup].

Besides, I would argue that Roar succeeds mostly because of its chorus, which is nothing like Brave’s.

Here’s the chorus of Roar:

I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, THE FIRE
DANCING THROUGH THE FIRE
CAUSE I AM A CHAMPION AND YOU’RE GONNA HEAR ME ROAR
LOUDER, LOUDER THAN A LION
CAUSE I AM A CHAMPION AND YOU’RE GONNA HEAR ME ROAR
OH OH OH OH OH OH
YOU’RE GONNA HEAR ME ROAR

The OH OH OHs, which look ridiculous written down, are like little velcro loops that ensure the song sticks in your head. Musically, it works.

Lyrically, however, those first two lines bug the hell out of me. (**UPDATE:** There’s disagreement on Twitter what she’s actually singing in the first line. Is it really FIGHTER? If so, that T is silent in the recording. This may not be a lyric issue at all but rather a vanishing consonant.)

1. She rhymes FIRE with FIRE.
2. She uses FIRE to mean very different things in adjacent lines.

Since my instinct is to fix things that annoy me (cf. [Courier Prime][cp], [Fountain][fountain]), I thought I’d spend a few minutes looking at how this couplet might be improved.

##Two fires at once

I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, THE FIRE
DANCING THROUGH THE FIRE

Wait: Is FIRE a good thing or a bad thing?

In the real world, fire is obviously both: a small fire can keep you warm; a large fire will burn your house down.

In the first line, Perry has fire in her. This is clearly positive. She has drive and ambition. In the second line, Perry is dancing through the fire of adversity. But where did that fire come from?

* Did her own internal fire ignite nearby combustible materials?
* Is she dancing through herself?

It’s ambiguous and perplexing. If the song were about how ambition had destroyed her life — “Success Has Made a Failure of Our Home” — then this dual usage might be perfect. But in a down-the-middle pop song, it’s just confusing.

One of these FIREs has to go.

##Rhyming fire with fire

Is it such a crime to rhyme a word with itself? No laws were broken. No one got hurt.

But we’ve come to have certain expectations about how songs work, and one of those is that you don’t just repeat a word to make the rhyme — unless you’re doing it for comic effect like in “Blurred Lines”:

I FEEL SO LUCKY, YOU WANNA HUG ME
WHAT RHYMES WITH HUG ME
HEY!

Let’s talk about the rhyme structure of the couplet in Roar:

I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, THE FIRE
DANCING THROUGH THE FIRE

At a glance, the rhyme is obvious: “-IRE.” But when you actually sing or say the word FIRE you recognize a few things.

First, FIRE functions like a two-syllable word: FYE-yer. All the stress goes on the first part of the word. In fact, you can easily schwa the yer at the end: FYE-uh.

In a song built with a lot of soft rhymes ((I’m using soft rhyme as a catch all for the not-quite-perfect rhymes, a.k.a. near rhymes, slant rhymes, etc. The Wikipedia page on rhyme has a good breakdown of the categories.)) (e.g. UP/DUST, UP/ENOUGH, BREATH/MESS) you could choose to match up THE FIRE with almost anything ending with an EYE-uh pattern, including PARIAH, MESSIAH, PAPAYA, SALIVA. None of these are good ideas, but they’re options.

In fact, Perry is already using THE FIRE as a soft internal rhyme with THE TIGER. And she soft-rhymes LION with I AM. (Blurred Lines does the same thing with LUCKY/HUG ME.)

My point is that there are actually a lot more choices for matching -IRE than you might realize. So…

## Let’s find some rhymes

When you eliminate words that would never make sense (FRIAR, BRIER) or already contain FIRE (MISFIRE, DEFIER, PACIFIER), [RhymeBrain][rb] gives us 20 interesting choices for making this work:

higher, wire, tire, liar, flyer, fryer, desire, choir, attire, crier, supplier, require, fiber, fighter, lighter, wiser, brighter, outsider, survivor, provider

Once again, let’s look at our couplet:

I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, THE FIRE
DANCING THROUGH THE FIRE

We want to replace one of the FIREs. But which one?

If we want to replace FIRE in the first line, here are three options:

1. I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, A FIGHTER ((This is exactly the line some people say she’s actually singing.))
2. I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, DESIRE
3. I GOT THE EYE OF THE TIGER, I’M WISER

DESIRE is the only perfect rhyme, but I like the other choices better.

If we want to replace FIRE in the second line, we’re looking for six syllables, so we’ll need to create a phrase that ends with our rhyme:

1. THE FIGHT AND DESIRE
2. EACH DAY FLYING HIGHER
3. STRONGER AND WISER
4. THAT LIGHT GROWIN’ BRIGHTER
5. AND I’LL NEVER TIRE
6. SINGING WITH THE CHOIR
7. IN BATTLE ATTIRE
8. AND I’M NOT A CRIER
9. YES I’M A SURVIVOR
10. FOREVER OUTSIDER

Let’s also consider the rhythm of the line. The original DANCING THROUGH THE FIRE has a DUM-DUM-duh-duh-DUM-duh pattern. Of the ten choices above, only #6 matches it exactly; most of the others are duh-DUM-duh-duh-DUM-duh, and #3 actually drops the first syllable. But I think they fit the hole just fine.

I’m not claiming any of these suggestions are the right choice. But most of them are better than saying FIRE twice.

##Why it matters (if it matters)

Look, Katy Perry has a bunch of Grammys, while I only have [one Grammy nomination][grammy] for a ridiculous (but catchy!) jingle sung by melting animatronic puppets. So I get that it’s presumptuous for me to be offering to fix perceived flaws in her tremendously successful song.

Here’s the thing: Katy Perry will never see this post, but other songwriters might. If that nudges them to spend the extra half hour to find a better lyric, then mission accomplished.

Writing is writing. Words matter, whether they’re spoken or sung or read on the page.

**UPDATE #2**: According to the official lyric video, the last word in the first line is a flexed muscle emoji. If we now have to start rhyming emoji, the game just got stepped up significantly.

[rb]: http://rhymebrain.com/en/What_rhymes_with_fire.html
[critic]: http://music-mix.ew.com/2013/08/12/katy-perry-roar-sara-bareilles-brave/ “Brave vs. Roar”
[rhyme]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhyme “wikipedia rhyme”
[cp]: http://quoteunquoteapps.com/courierprime/ “courier prime”
[fountain]: http://fountain.io “fountain format”
[grammy]: http://johnaugust.com/2005/dude-i-got-a-grammy-nomination “grammy”
[mashup]: https://soundcloud.com/mixmstrstel2/katy-perry-r0ar-the-extended “mashup roar brave”

Big Fish on Broadway, iteration and why I’d love to see you in September

Big Fish, Broadway

big fish signI’m in New York for two months as we get Big Fish ready for its Broadway debut. After five weeks of performances in Chicago and a summer hiatus, it’s terrific to be back in rehearsal with the same group of people I adore.

But it’s also strange.

In movies and television, once something is produced you never really get a second crack at it. If a movie is a hit, you might make a sequel. If a television show gets picked up for another season, you shoot new episodes. But you don’t get to go back and reshoot the pilot. ((An exception: the Buffy pilot. And that worked out pretty damn well.))

That’s the rare opportunity we have with Big Fish. I’m obviously focused on the writing side of it — it’s been a very busy summer for me and Andrew Lippa. But I see that same drive in every department, each one asking “How can we do that thing we did before, but better?” From sets to lighting to every step of choreography, we get the chance to assess and improve. It’s exhausting but amazing.

In software design, you call this iteration. You release and refine and repeat. Each generation builds on what came before. When it works right, the results seem obvious — *well of course it should be that way* — but you couldn’t see that when you started.

In TV and film, you don’t get much chance to iterate. Yes, you have all the drafts of the script, but with those you’re making changes to the *plan* for making the project. It’s only in the editing room that you can tweak and test. But by that point, you’re limited to what you shot. Extensive reshoots are rare and costly.

By contrast, iteration is very much the experience of making live theater. You do readings and workshops and finally get to the stage. Then every night, you’re putting on a show and seeing how it works. Every morning, you’re figuring out how to make tonight better.

And if you’re lucky, you get to stage the whole thing twice: once out-of-town and then on Broadway. We’re a much better show for our five weeks in Chicago, and the months we’ve had to regroup and rethink. We got to make version 2.0, and I’m ridiculously proud of it.

But we’re not done.

##Where you come in
One of the things that was most helpful to me during our Chicago run was that I had a lot of readers and podcast-listeners come see the show during previews. Having familiar strangers in the audience was comforting, and honestly, empowering — *those are my people in the balcony*. It also gave me a reason to escape the backstage whirlwind and socialize like an actual human being.

After the hellos and handshakes, I cut right to the chase: “What did you think? What did you love? Did something confuse you? If you had magic scissors, what would you take out?”

Granted, I could ask these questions of anyone in the audience, and believe me, I did. ((The luxury of being unrecognized is that I can start conversations in the lobby with folks who assume I’m just a fellow audience member.)) But my readers are smarter, or at least more sophisticated. I could dig deeper. I could drill down with follow-up questions: *At what point did you start feeling that way about that character? What if this happened first? Right now, at intermission, what do you hope happens next?*

We got solid reviews in Chicago, and endless helpful notes from smart people who see a lot of theater for a living. But the conversations I had in the lobby of the Oriental Theater with readers and listeners were some of the most valuable feedback of all.

So I want to do that again. I want you to come.

For Chicago, I asked the producers to give me a discount code for the first week of previews. For Broadway, I’ve convinced them to let me have **the whole four weeks of previews**, starting September 5th.

The discount code SCRIPT unlocks seats that are approximately half-off list price:

**From September 5th to ­October 5th**
$74.00 Orchestra and Front Mezzanine
$52.00 Mid-Mezzanine

**From October 8th ­to October 13th**
$85.00 Orchestra and Front Mezzanine
$62.00 Mid-Mezzanine

You can use the SCRIPT code both on [Ticketmaster](http://www.ticketmaster.com/Big-Fish-a-New-Broadway-Musical-tickets/artist/1859083?tm_link=edp_Artist_Name) (when looking at the seat map, click the “Got an Offer Code?” button) and in-person at the [Neil Simon Theatre](http://www.bigfishthemusical.com/tickets.php) box office on 52nd Street if you want to save the Ticketmaster fee.

There’s a chance that if we start selling way too many SCRIPT tickets, they’ll pull the offer — our producers are generous, but not foolish — so if you’re thinking about coming, don’t dally.

And if you’re coming, please let me know. You can [tweet me](http://twitter.com/johnaugust) or send an email to the ask@johnaugust.com account to let me know your date and seats. I’ll be here at least through the official opening on October 6th.

In Chicago, I tried to track down people where they were sitting, which was surprisingly difficult. What ended up working better was for people to wave me down. I look like myself — Google me — so if you see me, say hi. The lobby at the Neil Simon is incredibly small, so you’re more likely to find me in the house or on the street near the stage door. ((A note about the Neil Simon: the mezzanine is pretty great and really close to the stage, so if you can’t get orchestra seats, don’t despair about being up in the balcony. The first couple of rows are some of the best in the house.))

Unlike our five-week run in Chicago, the Broadway run is theoretically open-ended; we’re already selling a lot of tickets for the holidays. So if you can’t make it for previews, still come and tweet me what you thought. I’m eager for you to see it.

Big Fish box office opens

Big Fish

big-fish-nycThe box office at the [Neil Simon Theatre](https://www.google.com/maps/preview#!q=neil+simon+theater&data=!1m4!1m3!1d3085!2d-73.984584!3d40.763138!4m11!1m10!4m8!1m3!1d423285!2d-118.4117325!3d34.020479!3m2!1i1024!2i768!4f13.1!17b1) in New York City opened this morning, selling tickets for the Broadway incarnation of Big Fish.

First performance is September 5th. Official opening is October 6th.

Tickets are also [available online](http://www.ticketmaster.com/Big-Fish-a-New-Broadway-Musical-tickets/artist/1859083) of course, but Ticketmaster charges a fee and doesn’t even have [ice cream](https://twitter.com/BigFishBroadway/status/365197974961266688) coming at 1pm.

Any readers who can tweet or Instagram me a shot that includes the marquee, ice cream and a Scriptnotes t-shirt will get my ample admiration and a retweet/regram as appropriate.

Scriptnotes, a look back and ahead

Follow Up, News

Craig Mazin and I recorded our [first episode](http://johnaugust.com/2011/pitching-a-take-and-the-wga-elections) of Scriptnotes almost two years ago, and 100 episodes later, a lot has changed. I wanted to share a quick summary of where we’ve been and where we’re going.

For starters, we’ve literally moved: we’re on a new server now, one with room to grow. We switched right after episode 99. For most people, the switchover was seemless, but if for some reason your subscription isn’t updating (i.e. you’re not seeing episodes 100, 101 or 102), just [delete your subscription and re-add it](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/scriptnotes-podcast/id462495496?mt=2). ((Better to do this when you’re on wifi, just in case iTunes decides to download several episodes at once.))

One Cool Thing about our new server setup is that we have a lot more geodata about our listeners. For this map, we divided listeners by state population to reduce the impact of big cities:

chart

California is still in a class by itself, naturally, but Washington D.C. comes in number two. (I suspect that’s because D.C. is uniquely a “state” that’s a city.) The west seems to have an affinity for screenwriting; compare Wyoming to Arkansas or Indiana. I also find the difference between Arizona and New Mexico to be striking.

##The Three Page Challenge

Every few weeks, Craig and I take a look at few entries in the Three Page Challenge. Last year, Stuart Friedel wrote up [his findings](http://johnaugust.com/2012/learning-from-the-three-page-challenge) from having read 500 of them.

As of today, he’s gotten 1,340 entries. We’ve looked at 50 submissions on the podcast, so that means statistically any given submission has a 3.7% chance of making it to air.

But the truth is, Stuart picks the best ones. A well-written entry has a much, much higher chance of getting on the show.

##The back catalog

Unlike a lot of podcasts that quickly become dated, most of what Craig and I discuss remains relevant — writing is writing, after all.

But because we don’t have any advertisers, there’s no one to pay for the not-insubstantial server costs of hosting all those old files, which is why we only keep the most recent 20 episodes on iTunes.

In order to help out newer listeners who want to catch up on back episodes — or anyone who’d like the whole catalog for themselves — we’re offering the first 100 episodes on a USB flash drive for a limited time. You can find them [in the store](http://johnaugust.com/store).

chart

T-shirt sales covered almost all of our costs for transcripts, so thank you again for that. Stuart, Ryan and I learned a lot about the shipping of physical goods through that adventure, so we may decide to do it again.

But not right away. Man, that was a lot of work.

##The year ahead

Craig and I both really like audiences, so we’re excited to be doing another live episode this October at the [Austin Film Festival](http://www.austinfilmfestival.com/festivalandconference/conference/2013-panels/). After that, we’ll be looking at more opportunities in LA.

I’ve really enjoyed the episodes in which Craig and I sit down with special guests. So expect more of that. We’ll also be looking for ways to talk about more than just three pages — like how a whole movie is structured at the index card stage.

In the meantime, thanks for listening. If you haven’t left a comment on iTunes recently, [maybe share the love](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/scriptnotes-podcast/id462495496?mt=2). It helps other people find the show.