How to write dialogue
Continuing my efforts to blog less about the profession of screenwriting and more about the craft, I thought I’d offer up some thoughts on dialogue. As with my earlier post on How to Write a Scene, this isn’t an exhaustive tutorial by any means. But it’s at least a guide for how I do it.
1. Listen to how actual people talk
We all watch movies and television, which is chock full of dialogue: good, bad and inane. One might think it helpful to listen to great actors speaking great words. It’s not. In fact, it will probably screw you up.
It’s like trying to paint landscapes based on how other artists paint landscapes. The best you can do is a crude approximation. In order to paint a great landscape, you need to get your butt out in the cornfield and paint what you see. There’s really no alternative.
Fortunately, the world is full of dialogue cornfields. Sitting at Fatburger for lunch, I eavesdropped on two engineers discussing fire door trim allowances, and two women in their 60’s clucking about how small the hamburgers were. Far more important than the content of the conversations was the flow, the back-and-forth. We tend to think of dialogue as a tennis volley, with the subject being hit back and forth between speakers. But when you really listen, you realize that people talk over each other constantly, and rarely finish a complete thought.
To get a sense of this flow, you need to stop paying attention to the actual words being spoken. It’s the auditory equivalent of un-focusing your eyes. Listen for which speaker is dominating the conversation, and how often the other party chimes in to acknowledge he’s still paying attention. (”Uh-huh.” “Yeah.” “Really?”) Questions are often not phrased as questions, and in real life, no one speaks with exclamation points.
How often should you eavesdrop? Pretty much constantly, with particular focus on finding interesting speakers. Some people are inherently funny, and if you soak up enough of their rhythms you can recreate them on the page fairly faithfully. But even the annoying woman ahead of you at the checkout line deserves a listen. You never know when she might come in handy.
2. Figure out the flow of your dialogue
Generally, before I put pen to paper, I let the scene loop in my head 10 or 40 times. Those first cycles are silent, but eventually characters begin to talk. Based on what needs to happen in the scene, it’s often pretty clear who’ll be saying what. But figuring out the flow — the how, the when, the why — takes time. You can rush it, but you’ll often end up with too many words in the wrong order. Or worse, you’ll end up with characters talking at each other rather than with each other.
So imagine watching your scene, but in a foreign language with the subtitles turned off. What does the talking feel like? What’s the emotion behind the words? Who’s in control? There’s a classic drama exercise in which actors have to stage a scene speaking only faux-Chinese. That’s what you’re looking for at this stage. Not the words, but the texture.
3. Pattern out the information
Conversations in real life are often empty (”these burgers are too small”), but movie conversations almost always involve an exchange of information (”the fingerprints don’t match” or “I’m not sure I ever loved you”). Your job as a writer is figuring out how your characters would tell each other the information.
Let’s say Bob needs to tell Mary that her dog has been eaten by a python. As the writer, you need to decide not only what facts Bob knows, but how he’s anticipating Mary will react to the news. This will determine not only how he starts the conversation (”Say, you were talking about how you wanted to get a new dog, right?”) but every subsequent decision along the way.
Of course, as the screenwriter you’re not solely interested in helping the characters convey information to each other; your primary focus is getting that information to the audience. The challenge is to do the latter while pretending to the former. So if it’s slipping a bit of exposition in a joke, or staging an altercation to reveal a piece of backstory, find a way.
Bad dialogue tends to spray out information in every direction, whereas smart dialogue sneaks the facts in while you’re otherwise entertained.
4. Write the scribble version
The scribble version is the very rough draft of a scene, devoid of formatting, punctuation and other garnishes. My scribble versions tend to be largely dialogue, with an emphasis on the overall flow rather than finding le mot juste.
5. Write the nice version
Once you have the blueprint for the scene, it’s time to go back and start worrying about getting each word right. Great dialogue has a melody to it, and achieving that is probably unteachable. But you can write pretty good dialogue simply by reading each line aloud, over and over, smoothing off the awkwardness through better words or a different composition.
Movie dialogue is how characters would speak if they had a few extra seconds to compose their thoughts between lines. It’s just slightly optimized. But it’s very easy to overshoot and end up in soap opera land. Keeping dialogue real but efficient is one of the hardest challenges in screenwriting.
6. Ask: Are characters listening, or just speaking?
Once you have the scene finished, take a look back and make sure your characters aren’t just speaking because it’s their turn. That’s a common problem, perpetuated (I believe) by the prevalence of exposition-heavy crime dramas.
- BOOTHE
- Two campers found the body in a culvert five miles down river.
- GARMAN
- Toxicology shows arsenic in the well.
- BOOTHE
- Looks like we got ourselves a serial killer.
While actors could probably pull this off as a conversation (with a lot of head nodding), it’s not hard to get Garman listening and responding:
- BOOTHE
- Two campers found the body in a culvert five miles down river. Once we get the toxicology back…
- GARMAN
- Just came. Arsenic in the well.
- BOOTHE
- Looks like we got ourselves a serial killer.
7. Ask: Is there a shorter version that works as well?
Many times, the best way to improve dialogue is to cut it. Once you’ve let a scene sit for a while, revisit it with a red pen and look for what could be cut. If a piece of information isn’t essential, it should probably go. And a joke isn’t worth it if you’ve had to break the scene to achieve it.
Articles
February 7th, 2007 at 6:34 am
Love it!
Unk
February 7th, 2007 at 6:58 am
Great comments about dialogue. But a serial killer using arsenic seems a bit outlandish. Firstly if delivered via well-water it lacks precision (a serial killer MO) and instant gratification (another serial killer MO). The victim would die without awareness they were being murdered, which some serial killers would get a kick out of. In addition, Arsenic in well water is a fairly common phenomenon so the po-po wouldn’t just as likely be looking for clues like firewood treated with arsenic (CCA).
Unless this serial killer’s father used to work for the city-water works and was canned because so many people decided to build wells. Hmm…
February 7th, 2007 at 7:01 am
Also love it. This is the sort of post I come to the site for. Proper advice from a produced screenwriter, as opposed to a theoretical ‘guru’.
Let’s just hope your other readers give you less shit over it than they did to your ‘How to Write A Scene’ post. I was afraid you’d give the whole enteprise up after that…
February 7th, 2007 at 7:12 am
lippyone,
I don’t think you know enough about the plot to make those assumptions from just the three lines of dialog given.
February 7th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Eavesdropping … a natural human tendency now put to valuable use. Fortunately, I feel little to no guilt over it.
I can’t remember where (maybe Jane Espenson, but I heard about a writer who used to write dead on-the-nose dialogue first in all his scenes, then go back later and make it real. I always thought it was a cool trick, but I’ve never tried it.
February 7th, 2007 at 7:27 am
Thanks for the real-world info. I’m always hearing remarks like “great dialogue” or “trite dialogue”, but never hearing too much about what makes the difference. This helps a lot.
February 7th, 2007 at 7:29 am
Great dialogue = flows like jazz.
Blue like jazz, pure white like jazz, funky brown like jazz . . . it flows inherent to the beat of the individual musician (speaker), but it flows like jazz.
February 7th, 2007 at 7:32 am
Two thoughts.
Even though I haven’t experienced it yet, I understand that getting a script read aloud by actual actors can go miles toward hearing if the dialogue works.
Couple years ago I tried the fake version of that in Final Draft.
Haven’t used it since. Won’t again. Unless it’s a story about mutes with synthetic voices.
And, idealized dialogue and real is a balance I hadn’t really appreciated before.
Thanks for this, John.
February 7th, 2007 at 7:49 am
Great post, John.
Why did you only give good/bad examples for the 6th point, though? I’d like to see what you think is optimized dialogue, and what’s soap opera.
February 7th, 2007 at 8:15 am
The Dalek readings of Final Draft scricpts are always funny though. They read everything in the same, bored tone, even when you’ve got a character spouting some expletive filled, furious rhetoric.
February 7th, 2007 at 10:22 am
So Joshua… does that mean bad dialogue sounds like Free Jazz?
February 7th, 2007 at 10:47 am
My friend the afficianado maintains that, when it comes to music and specifically jazz, that there is no such thing as bad jazz . . . if it’s good, it’s jazz, if it’s not, it’s not jazz, it’s simply noise.
I believe the same to be true of dialogue, don’t you?
February 7th, 2007 at 11:47 am
I concur.
February 7th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Thanks for getting back to the point of this blog - writing!
I think your last comment at the end of section 3 sums up the whole entry nicely, and is a quote we all should remember as writers struggling to fit plot in with dialogue - “smart dialogue sneaks the facts in while you’re otherwise entertained.”
February 7th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
hmmm…on the jazz note…as someone who isn’t by any means an expert it seems to me that great jazz tends to go off on tangents and explore motifs; repeat and expand on other players notes…seems to me that good dialogue is lean and efficient (without seeming so), while good jazz isn’t bound by such temporal considerations.
February 7th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
You’re speaking strictly of screenplay dialogue, of course . . . movies are not the only source or sample of great dialogue . . . we also have plays, television shows and especially novels. Elmore Leonard, in particular, uses a jazz like tempo to his dialogue, with tangents and motifs . . . his novels are verbal music, in a way.
And regarding screenplays, it goes without saying that Tarantino, no matter what you think of him, does very much the same thing. As does Kevin Smith. Scott Frank. Man, I could go on . . . even William Goldman, I think, has a tempo to his work that reminds me of jazz, if one looks at both of his Oscar-winning scripts, it’s there.
And jazz isn’t limited to improvision, neither . . . it’s about the tempo and emotion and the beat and how they all relate . . . it can be lean or it can be full, if it’s great, it works, regardless of the lean-ness or fat-ness of the words.
February 7th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
It can’t hurt to eavesdrop, although I don’t believe that every well written dialogue has to be realistic. No real person ever talks like an Aaron Sorkin character.
February 7th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
“True music must repeat the thought and inspirations of the people and the time.” –George Gershwin
February 7th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
I’m kind of disappointed this has gone off on a jazz tangent, because I really hate jazz.
February 7th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Good dialogue is like blues, then. Sometimes entertaining, but always has some blue notes in it, like real life
Or we could just drop the music metaphors…
Good and useful blog post, Mr. August. Thanks! But could we bug you for a couple of examples of optimal vs soap opera dialogue? And how does porn movie dialogue fit into this?
February 7th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Since you hate Jazz:
“Life is a B Movie: it’s stupid and it’s strange, it’s a directionless story, the dialogue is lame, but in the ‘he said she said’ sometimes there’s some poetry, if you turn your back long enough and let it happen naturally.â€? –Ani Difranco
Unk
February 7th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
John, you took the words out of my mouth on the jazz tangent.
How do you go with writing dialogue for characters from different countries? Do you try to get the cadences of speech of particular countries/accents in? Or leave that to the actors?
February 7th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Interesting idea of “auditory unfocusing”, in order to get a better sense of the tone and cadence of normal speech. It is similar to a common way of learning how to draw: Forget about what the subject IS, keep your eyes up, and just transcribe the subject’s lines onto the paper.
Anyway, I wonder how blog comments compare to realistic dialog. Everyone gets to complete their thoughts, but often talk over each other.
February 7th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Johnny Hates Jazz?
Oh, come on, I HAD to, I just HAD to…
BTW - Jazz isn’t too crazy about you, either.
February 8th, 2007 at 2:45 am
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JohnnyHatesJazz
February 8th, 2007 at 4:37 am
Sorry,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JohnnyHatesJazz.
February 8th, 2007 at 5:18 am
Hate jazz?
Oh my. Nina Simone? You cannot mean Nina Simone.
Really John. I used to be you. I used to hate jazz. I was scarred by a bad saxophone drive-by improv and wanted nothing at all to do with jazz. Truly.
Then my best friend “saved” me. Showed me that I had been battered by what lesser minds thought was jazz. This noise, which I had believed to be jazz, was not jazz, but what some folks thought jazz was, it was pretend, it was plastic, it was many things which are bad for the environment, but it wasn’t jazz.
Jazz is real, babe. You don’t hate the real. You hate the plastic, and for that I don’t blame you one bit.
Now then. Even getting “off the jazz tangent”, one must admit that there is music to great dialogue, don’t you agree? Even if “jazz” ain’t your thing, then pop, country, folk, classical, it’s all music in the beat and tempo of how folks speak, right?
February 8th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Josh, no offence mate, but I think you’re trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it.
February 8th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
None taken.
Hey, we’re all dramatists, right?
February 8th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
OK, just saw a trailer for The Astronaut Farmer< /i>. A couple bits of dialogue good enough for the trailer? “I always believe you can launch the rocket.” And, perhaps even better, “If we don’t have our dreams, we don’t have anything.”
February 8th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
“I always believe you can launch the rocket.�
Were the characters in bed?
February 9th, 2007 at 5:17 am
I think they were walking toward the barn and that proverbial hay. Or, literal hay in that case.
February 9th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Thanks John,just what I needed!
February 9th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
(Minor Annie Hall spoiler ahead.)
I agree with every point John offered up on writing dialogue, and will add one: Good dialogue normally works toward something–a reveal, a joke, a new question raised. In John’s example, it’s the realization that they’ve got a serial killer on their hands.
The writer has this critical moment in mind before beginning the scene, and attempts to reach it in the most entertaining and believable way. Check out the spider scene in Annie Hall and notice how, through the use of conflict and humor, it moves deftly in the direction of reconciliation.
February 11th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Frequently the information in a too long, wordy scene can be put into the mouths of other characters in other scenes.
February 14th, 2007 at 11:13 am
when your character has an accent and you want to ensure that it is done right, do you write it as pronounced (a la Mark Twain) or just write it straight and give the accent suggestion in parentheticals?
If your character speaks a specific dialect of a language (Venezuelan Spanish), and this is CRUCIAL for the character, and if I speak Venezuelan Spanish, would you recommend I go ahead and write the phrases correctly in the text and put English subtitles in the script?
February 19th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Erik, critique this piece of dialogue for me will you? I am going to blog this on John August’s website. I challenge you to fit in the missing dialogue, beginning at the end of this sentence. You get first crack though..
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Umm, with a concerted effort you may find that this test will take you less than 5 min. to figure out, I imagine you’ve done more important things than this in less time than that
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… Compromise?
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That’s cute that you would say something like that. I love the P_A jab..
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Oh, honey…you should have seen it.
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Apparently, a large part of our experience is only in our relations to others and their projections on us.
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The pedantic fool that I am, having said been doing 4 1/2 years of academically critiqued philosophical work ..
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I was stilted in confusion at this projection!!
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It’s uncanny that I find ambiguity and certitude to be in no relation with one another.
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Perhaps, as Socrates pointed out -the truest piece of knowledge you could know, is that you knew nothing at all. And in this progression wisdom is the final result.
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Can’t wait to see how you jive with Intro at Metro.
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Oh yeah..
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Wednesday-
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School again, how about we hang out soon at l’endroit d’emploi?
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I don’t like to stay at school that late it messes with my psyche- the temperature change is patronizing enough..
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Although, I did stay late tonight
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And had a fantastic time shocking a few of my fools with the connection between S&M and holy….
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Christendom; which has sadly lasted us to into the 21st century. I used the archetype of an orgy to dessimin…
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Wow~~ sorry that was reaching wasn’t it?
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Well, I attempted to leave behind an example in the guise of a warning. I’m sorry if I am unable to apologize for what some people consider to be bizarre “behavior.”
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Laugh
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Yeah, I guess I do love you.
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Under no certain terms, though I love the idea -I can’t relegate myself to permanence.
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I can’t help but change.
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end
Send me your interpretations. I’ll play Derrida. Tell me what is happening in the space between. How does X respond to determined dialogue? What is their relationship? Description- people, not definition. What dialogue is written in response? Who the hell are these people? I will garner my share of amusement from your responses when you reblog. So, the question remains X=?
I agreed with Mr. August when he said,
I’m kind of disappointed this has gone off on a jazz tangent, because I really hate jazz.
I can’t talk about jazz either, It cannot be defined; scenes are much like jazz, written as spontaneous improvisation. How do you write about something that alludes this distinction?
Hi Concept/ Low Concept
Thanks
For the space~~
February 20th, 2007 at 7:41 am
Absolute shit. I found this no use what-so-ever.
February 20th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Wow, how acerbic of you. What USE are you referring to? This is for fun. Is there such a thing as fun for fun’s sake? Not even going to try? The exercise didn’t call for such a flamboyant value judgement. Obviously, the point is to see ambiguity in language and how that lends itself to all types of writing. Especially, dialogue. So, please indulge me with your reasoning, it’s almost an insult not to. ; )
February 21st, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Writing dialogue. As screenwriters, it’s probably the most difficult thing we do. The best advice I have ever received on this subject:
Watch movies or shows you admire with the sound turned OFF and the subtitles turned ON.
READ the dialogue. You’ll be surprised at how spare it is, how mundane it seems, and how important subtext can be.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:35 pm
In McKee, he states that Alfred Hitchcock was asked how to write great dialogue. To which Hitchcock responded, “Don’t.”
The blog here was helpful to me in that it made sense. But, applying the data to my work leaves me back at square one. Dialogue is HARD to write. I know what I want them to say, but making them say it in an interesting or entertaining way is the trick.
August 1st, 2007 at 11:29 pm
Very helpful. Thanks.
October 10th, 2007 at 12:14 am
i dont love it. it doesnt say anything about the puncutation of how to write dialogue. When do you take a new line?
March 15th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
Hi Dear All
I am a student to English
I need to write Dialogues Please email me somebodey two dialogues.
I will be thankfull to you.
On the following Topics.
(1) A Dialogue about the “Life in a City and Life in a Country”
(2) Money and Education
And Attache it to the following Address:
Akhtar_azimi@yahoo.com
Thank you,