random adviceA significant percentage of this blog’s readership is still in school, so my hunch and hope is that many of these readers are still novice drinkers. So as I close out this week of random advice, let me offer one bit of wisdom that can carry you through the next 80 years, or at least this coming weekend:

For every alcoholic drink, drink a glass of water.

Do this and you will avoid 65 percent of drinking idiocy and embarrassment. It will pace you. It will dilute you. It will save you at least five pounds of the dreaded freshman fifteen, and lessen possible hangovers.

To be clear: I don’t mean drink a half-gallon of water before you go to bed. I mean that when the beer or cocktail you are holding is finished, you drink a glass of water. No glass? Then fill that beer can with water from the tap.

There is no magic here. Water doesn’t undo what you drank, so you’re still just as much a menace on the roads. But with less alcohol consumed over a longer period of time, you’re less likely to make dumb decisions about driving, dating and diet.

Two related notes:

  • When asking for water at a bar, always tip the bartender.

  • When someone says they don’t drink, leave it at that. There’s invariably a good reason, and it’s never your business.