Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can now be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/collapsing-scenes).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 458 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on this podcast we’re going to talk about why and how screenwriters find themselves collapsing and combining scenes. We also have a bunch of listener follow up about returning to production, portrayals of police on screen, and issues faced by Black writers. And in our bonus segment for Premium members we will talk about the return of professional sports.

**Craig:** Your favorite. I know you’ve just been on the edge of your seat.

**John:** I am weirdly excited about the return of professional sports.

**Craig:** Oh wow.

**John:** A lot to get into.

**Craig:** If there was ever a reason for somebody to quickly subscribe to the Premium member feed it’s this. Because even I’m–

**John:** What is John excited about with the NBA?

**Craig:** I couldn’t possibly–

**John:** Only the Premium members will know.

**Craig:** I mean, I cannot wait to hear this.

**John:** But professional sports are not the only thing going back into production. So, on previous episodes we’ve talked about how actors are likely to be the deciding factors about when shows and movies go back into production with COVID-19 precautions. And we also noted the power imbalance between stars on the top of the call sheet and those listed lower.

But Joe wrote in. Craig, do you want to talk about what Joe–?

**Craig:** Sure. Joe says, “I’m an actor and a member of SAG/AFTRA and the truth is that virtually no actors make a consistent living from performing. The overwhelming majority of actors book one or two day-player gigs a year. That’s if they’re lucky. And then they have a regular job that pays the bills. So the question that actors in this situation, which is most of them, have to ask themselves now is do I risk my life for a non-life-changing role? Because getting COVID for an occasional day-player gig that pays a thousand bucks can cost them the job that actually pays their bills.

“Actors are so desperate to land that life-changing role. So my hunch is that they’ll continue to risk their lives for the day-player gigs just to stay somewhat relevant. It’s a sad F’ed up situation because the odds of deriving a livelihood just from acting are slim to none.”

**John:** Well that’s more depressing with each paragraph.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** But let’s do talk about that, because I think it’s important to acknowledge that WGA writers who are working in Hollywood, some are working a lot, some are not working as often. But if you’re a working writer you’re a working writer and that can be your main source of income.

With actors there’s a lot more variability and there are a lot of actors who are a member of the union who really are in the situation that Joe describes where you’re booking one or two jobs a year. And so for them, god, do they take the risk of going to a set that they don’t feel safe on? It’s a hard calculation.

**Craig:** Well, go a little further. Because Joe stops his calculus at day player. So for those of you who don’t know what that phrase is, actors are hired usually week to week. That’s how your general cast is employed, either on an episode basis or a week to week on a feature basis. Day players are people that are hired for one day. So that’s the role of the waiter who comes by and says, “Sorry sir, we don’t have what you asked for.” That’s a one-day job. They’re paid one day.

But what about background? So extras. Extras are already working kind of in tough conditions. They’re not particularly well cared for by productions. They are often smooshed together under tents. And they eat separately from everybody. I wonder about them as well, particularly because extras are the ones that are in crowd scenes. So when you see a big crowded room and you think to yourself in our post-COVID mentality, oh good lord, everyone is going to get COVID in that room, almost all of those people are background.

**John:** Yeah. So all the precautions we’re talking about in terms of like, oh, maybe we can shoot two parts of a scene separately so the actors aren’t actually as close as they seem. Or we’ll do things, when we talk about not having crowd scenes, well in some cases you’re still going to have to have some background players moving through there. Even in a show like Brooklyn 99 there are people who move through the backgrounds of those scenes and those people wouldn’t be masked.

And so it’s tough. And it’s tough for those people to decide, OK, I feel comfortable being in this situation without a mask while this is happening. It’s a lot.

**Craig:** I’m afraid that Joe is right though that a lot of people want to be in show business. And not only will day players show up at risk to themselves to make as he says a thousand bucks, but background artists and extras will show up to make a couple of hundred bucks. Therefore it is kind of incumbent upon our business to figure out how to keep these sets safe because people will show up.

**John:** Yeah. And we should also stipulate that everyone working on a set, like everyone working overall, is taking some risk by showing up. It’s just that the precautions that a grip or a gaffer can have about masking up and other safety equipment, a background player may not be able to have those because they’re literally on camera. So that’s what we’re talking about here.

The same way that we see news people having to make the decision of are they taking off their mask when they’re on a camera shot or are they leaving their mask on, those are tough calls. And people are having to make those decisions in real time.

**Craig:** Exactly.

**John:** Yeah. Another thing we’ve been talking about a lot on the show is portrayals of the justice system. And we’ve speculated that networks and showrunners will be looking at shows that portray policing and the justice system more realistically or in different ways than they classically have. Bob Shane wrote in to say, “I’d like to call your attention to a really good series that was on ABC for two years and it got canceled this year called For the People. In it a group of young lawyers who recently passed the bar exam are hired. Some by the federal prosecutors’ office and others by the federal public defenders’ office in New York. The show cuts back and forth between the cases. It never pandered to the police or authoritarian law and order agenda. And it did a great job exposing the flaws in the system. It was created by Paul William Davis and produced by Shonda Rhimes’ company.

“I suspect that this would be the moment for fans of that show to ask ABC to bring it back, or for Shonda Land to get Netflix to pick it up.”

And so this was a show that I had in my head and I could not remember the name of it as we were talking about it. Because Paul Davies is actually a friend. His daughter and my daughter went to school together and I knew when he was actually just starting his career as a TV writer. He’s a lawyer who transitioned to that. And so he’s always been on my list of like, oh, I have to have Paul on the show to talk about transitioning from another career in your 30s. Because he made that transition and got to run a show really early in his writing life.

So, yes, I think that’s the kind of show I can imagining happening more often. But even in the description that Bob puts here I can see why it’s a harder show to program than the other 19 police procedurals.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, the thing about police procedurals and we’ll also call them justice procedurals, like Law & Order, which was built around trials, which don’t exist, is that they’re easy to do. It’s built-in drama. I mean, trials are dramatic. They have an incredibly narrative-friendly structure. You make an argument. You make an argument. You cross-examine. There’s banging of gavels and objections and moments of drama. And then people go and decide. Who wins?

Well, that’s just perfect.

**John:** Yeah. It’s like sports. There’s a clear outcome. There’s a winner and a loser.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** In ways that reality doesn’t have winners and losers.

**Craig:** That’s exactly right. Most of the time people are losers when they end up in the justice system and their loss is some kind of brokered loss that’s done a bit bloodlessly.

So, I agree with you. That does sound like a hard one. But I’m sure that, you know, look, if it got on the air, it was on for two seasons. So it was obviously doable. I think that will ABC bring it back? It’s unlikely. And I don’t think this is the time where we should be looking backwards and sort of dusting things off. Everything has changed quite a bit. It’s time we write new things. So it would be interesting to see what somebody like Paul Davies would do now if he continued working with Shonda Land or purely for himself or anything.

**John:** Yeah. Well on that topic of what we do now and do forward, do you want to read what Ryan in Florida wrote?

**Craig:** Ryan writes that “Episode 456 forced me to take a closer look at one of my characters, a sheriff, and to rethink his role in my story, which I believe was your intent. It occurred to me that the sheriff is a ‘the end justifies the means’ sort of guy. Where did this thinking, the end justifies the means, come from? And why is it so pervasive in a country founded on the principles of freedom, equality, and justice for all? Your podcast reminded me that the means is the end. Separation of the two concepts exists only in our mind. Here’s to hoping that America will rediscover the passion of its principles and pursue the ideals that changed the world.”

Here, here, Ryan.

**John:** Yeah. So I want to unpack a little of that because America was founded on the idea of justice for all and freedom, but it was also founded on this idea of like the frontier and the going your own way and sort of the lone wolf thing. So, it’s interesting that our sheriff mentality tends to be towards the hero/lone wolf person. And other parts of our justice system are more about the teamwork and justice for all. America has always been built on that duality of like we’re all in this together, oh it’s every man for himself.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, this was a debate that was going on when they were coming over in the Mayflower. Literally they were having this debate. Because we are a nation of what we’ll call sort of progressive liberal thinkers, a guy like Roger Williams who founded Rhode Island among other things and who believed in the equality of all peoples, including Native Americans, with whom – he learned their language and he had good relationships.

And then you had the true hardcore puritan Calvinists who believed that people were born either good or bad, as babies. It had been predetermined by god. And so, of course, if that’s your point of view and you believe someone is evil, why in god’s name would you allow the means to disrupt what must be divine justice?

Similarly, if you believe that you are good then you should be able to take whatever you want. Hence, manifest destiny. This is the American duality. And it’s interesting to see writers starting to at the very least recognize the duality is there. And once you know it’s there you have choices to make.

**John:** Also this week I saw a discussion that Brooklyn 99 was talking about it needed to throw out the first four scripts they have written for this next season to shoot, because they just don’t make sense given the environment. And that is a thing that you’re going to see in every writer’s room. Those initial weeks’ discussions will be really challenging to figure out what is our show in 2021. What makes sense?

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And it’s tough to see. But I think it does come back to some of these fundamental American principles that are in conflict with each other. That we are a nation born of people who sought freedom who also enslaved people.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**John:** We’re always going to be grappling with that. I think it’s just much more obvious that we’re grappling with it as we come up with this next batch of series.

**Craig:** Yeah. And, look, a lot of people are going to accuse Hollywood of virtue signaling. And I think it’s important to recognize the difference between virtue signaling and evidence of virtue. Because virtue signaling is a cynical act. You’re not virtuous. You’re not trying to be virtuous. You don’t even understand the virtue of the virtue you’re signaling. You’re just putting on a show in the hopes that people will praise you, or not attack you.

Evidence of virtue is just that. If you are making an effort because of the right reasons to be a more equitable employer, to be a writer who is more aware of other perspectives, to be listening, to be changing, evolving, including, then people will see evidence of what I would consider to be virtue. And the cynical tarring of all evidence of virtue as virtue signaling is also something dangerous that we need to keep aware of.

Not saying that we shouldn’t also be – because, look, there’s a lot of virtue signaling. So let’s not pretend. Even if 90% of it is virtue signaling, at least 10% of it is evidence of actual virtue. And so be brave enough to do that and hopefully you don’t get hit with that accusation.

**John:** Yup. Widening our clock back further, we started this year talking about assistant pay and assistant pay cuts. Nick wrote in this week a suggestion which I found really interesting. So it’s kind of long but I want to read through it because it’s systematic and it speaks to systemic ways of thinking about it that might be helpful.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** So Nick writes, “I’m an officer in the air force and I’ve lived in a few different countries over the last few years. Pay in the military is rank-based, meaning no matter what your position is if you’re X rank with Y years of service you get Z pay. It’s a very simple formula and you can even look it up in military pay charts to figure out what that pay is because it’s public knowledge.

“But because the military is spread across the world it would be unfair to give everyone the exact same wage because being stationed in Los Angeles would obviously be extremely more expensive than living in Oklahoma. That’s where BAH, or basic allowance for housing, comes into play. Every zip code in the US has a certain BAH based on different factors that the Department of Defense updates regularly. If you Google BAH calculator you can input a zip code and find out how much the government would pay you on top of your base pay if you were stationed there.

“This is something our government already does and is supposed to represent the amount of money you need just for housing in order to live decently in that area. The studios could easily start using this data to determine what is fair to pay their assistants on top of whatever the minimum wage type salary they’re trying to pay their assistants.

“For example, using LA zip code 90038 and a pay grade of E2, air man, normally a high school graduate with no college education, and brand new to the service, the monthly BAH would be $2,079. Using the rank of O1, a second lieutenant, the minimum requirement for which is a Bachelor’s degree and probably more closely aligned with the education level of an assistant, the BAH gets raised to $2,430.

“Do you think this is something the studios could use as a starting off point when determining what is a fair wage for their assistants? I feel like it’s as impartial as you can get and ensures that assistants are getting paid enough money to live comfortably.”

**Craig:** Interesting. Well, double-edged sword there. So always have to look at the law of unintended consequences. If you rigorously format payment then what you end up with is a situation similar to what we do when we’re negotiating union minimums. The minimum becomes the maximum. So, the deal is we only have to pay you – this is what the chart says, so that’s what you’re getting paid. And, yeah, we’ll pay you a little bit extra for living there. But there isn’t going to be as much upward variability.

Now, people could argue that it’s the downward variability that’s been crushing everybody. And I think that’s reasonable. The thought experiment is what happens if we firm up the floor, what happens to the ceiling? And that’s an interesting economic question. I don’t quite know the answer. But I think that since everyone who is an assistant in LA is living somewhere in incredibly expensive LA, this is probably not as impactful as it is for the military where as Nick writes people could be living in vastly different kinds of environments in terms of cost of living.

**John:** Yeah. So what I think your analogy with scale is absolutely appropriate. It is setting a floor. And so when unions negotiate scale it’s to set a floor so nothing goes below that. And for assistants we’ve talked a lot about sort of like what is the minimum sort of livable wage in Los Angeles. And so we talk about for a 40-hour week is it $25/hour? For a 60-week is it $20/hour? Is there some basis for which a person can make enough to live? And something like this calculator is helpful for figuring out what is the actual expense of living in Los Angeles, or the expense of living in New York.

What I do wonder is if this variability based on location could be helpful in thinking about how much we’re paying crews who are living and working outside of Los Angeles. Because some markets are a lot more expensive than Los Angeles and some are a lot less expensive. And so we’d be thinking about how much does a gaffer who is working in Atlanta need to be paid versus a gaffer who is living in Los Angeles? What are actual livable wages in those places? That might be interesting.

But because each of those productions is sort of working as a one-off I don’t know that you’re going to have a bigger impact or the range of impact that you would hope to have by using this kind of calculation.

**Craig:** You start to feel bad for people who move to stretch their salary further and then the company says, oh you’ve moved, we’re cutting your salary.

**John:** And that does happen. I have friends who moved from Los Angeles to cheaper places and the companies they’re working for are like, “That’s fantastic. You had an allowance for living in London and now you’re not living in London.”

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Not easy answers there.

**Craig:** Nope.

**John:** I also want to point our attention to – this wasn’t written directly towards us, but a lot of people mentioned us in it. Nicole French had a Twitter thread from this past week.

**Craig:** Yeah, I saw this.

**John:** She writes, “Today a Black film editor posted in a Facebook group for Hollywood editors looking to connect with other Black editors as they’re severe under-representation in post-production and they can be hard to find. What ensued is a slew of white editors who immediately objected to the post, asked for it to be taken down by moderators, and accused the poster of breaking the law, discriminating against whites, fanning ‘anti-white racism’ against them. And insulted Black editors and white editors speaking up for diversity.”

And this just felt like a giant Yikes to me.

**Craig:** Yeah. [laughs] I mean, I saw it. I went through it. I looked at it. I’m not on Facebook, but because the link was there I could kind of go through or somebody had maybe just sort of copy and screen shot it. Is that the past tense of screen shot? It’s not screen shut?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Screen-shotted those things. And so first of all there’s just a question is that illegal and the answer is no.

**John:** No.

**Craig:** I mean, if somebody said, “Hi, I’m looking to hire people and I will only hire” and then lists a group, there are employment issues. There’s employment law and things like that. But saying, yeah, I’m looking to just have a discussion group or meet up with or talk to, I mean, what? Of course it’s not illegal. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

**John:** Yeah. An affinity group for underrepresented population, yes, that’s not illegal.

**Craig:** No. It’s not illegal. And then there was just stupidity. Look, there’s all sorts of levels of racism. This was not quality racism. I don’t know how else to put it. It was like dumb-dumb racism. It wasn’t like, oh, I don’t know, when some sort of super thinky person writes this very long essay that disguises their racism in rather thought-provoking terms. No. This was just dumb-dumb racism. Like, “What? That’s not…bah.”

And I just thought, well, this makes white editors look awful. It was every single one of those. I just want – I’m going to say this, because I can. Because this isn’t illegal. I would never, never – I will never – hire any of those editors. Not because they’re white. I’ve hired white editors before and I’ll hire white editors again, no question. And not because they’re men. I’ve hired male editors and I’ve hired female editors. I won’t hire them because they’re dumb. How about that?

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So, anyway, you’re not working for me anymore. And I hope other people look at those names and go, yeah, I don’t want to work with you either. Because you’re a dick. There you go. And I want a new group that’s for not dicks. Is that OK? Is that illegal?

**John:** Now, Craig, it struck me that I was seeing these Facebook messages, these screen shots, and it’s like I can’t imagine writers who do that. And maybe it’s just because we’ve been in this a little bit longer, but I don’t see the same things happening among screenwriters. And I’ve definitely seen concern about, you know, you and I have both talked to young white men who are trying to get staff writer jobs and feel like it’s really hard for them to get a staff writer job. And I’ve heard that. I’ve listened to that. And I’ve also been able to sort of talk them through that. None of them would be so stupid as these people who are replying in this thread, how they were replying.

**Craig:** I mean, these people seemed like editors who had jobs. So it was like they were eating in a restaurant and someone came in and said, “Hey, for those of you who have not yet been served do you want to come have a discussion?” And they said, what, you’re excluding us because we’re already eating? No! We get to talk to anybody.

And you’re like, goddammit. No, writers tend to not be this absurd. Or at least, no, let me take it back. There have been writers who have been this absurd, but not in a cluster like that. It was this weird cluster. It was like a herd of dopes.

**John:** I also felt like that a lot of those things happened like 10 years ago, or five years ago. I think we went through that wave and those people got culled a little bit. So, there just wasn’t a culling yet in this ring.

**Craig:** It’s not really praise for writers as much as just more damning evidence of these guys. I just – it was just like, ugh, they were just dumb-dumbs.

**John:** Dumb-dumbs. All right, Craig, now this is a thing I don’t think you’ve read ahead in the outline, but I feel like it’s important that you probably read this message from Tyler because I want to see how you respond.

**Craig:** Sure. This is going to go great. Tyler from Bellingham writes, “I just became a Premium subscriber and I’m listening through the back catalog. I just listened to Episode 7 and made a horrifying discovery. Not only is John withholding from Craig the riches he’s acquired through the podcast, he owes him potentially millions of dollars for coming up with the very idea of Highland.” This is great so far. I like you, Tyler.

“Toward the end of the episode John and Craig discuss screenwriting software. This is prior to John creating Highland. As they’re wrapping up the conversation Craig says he believes there is an opportunity in the market for a mid-priced screenwriting software to compete against Final Draft and other smaller players. Shortly thereafter John released Highland.”

All right, Tyler, your argument is falling apart quickly. “If I’ve learned anything from Scriptnotes it’s that an offhanded comment in an informal setting is 100% copyrightable and stands as a legally binding contract. Thus, John owes Craig bigly. I look forward to hearing how John plans to right this wrong.”

Tyler, this is one of the best things anyone has ever written in. You’re great. [laughs] You’re great. And you’re right. An offhanded comment, and certainly an idea as we all know, is property. John owes me what I think is probably millions of dollars.

**John:** Yeah. Probably [unintelligible]. Tyler, it shows a good understanding of the entire dynamic of Scriptnotes to be able to retroactively apply to that conversation we had way back then. And probably Highland was in the works back then. I just may not have said anything about it. But we can figure out in the timeline when we actually – when I started talking about Highland. Because there was a public beta for like a year before we released it. So, who knows?

**Craig:** Well, yeah, I guess I probably am owed money for that as well. I’m a saint. That’s what I think. Eventually people are going to understand that–

**John:** Saint Craig.

**Craig:** I’m a Saint.

**John:** He’s a Jewish Saint.

**Craig:** Yup. I’m a Jewish Saint. We have those now.

**John:** All right. I want to propose a craft topic. So this was something that I was encountering this week. And Craig I feel like you probably encounter this too.

**Craig:** Oh, of course.

**John:** If you have not encountered this I will be so angry.

**Craig:** Oh, no, no. All the time.

**John:** All right. So the project I’m working on I have a detailed outline and have really good understanding of what all the scenes and sequences were and I felt really good about it. But then I still encountered a thing that I’ve encountered in most of the scripts I’ve written is that – and it often happens in the third act, but it can happen sort of anywhere is that there are two or three story beats that I intended to be separate scenes or sequences and in looking at it and looking at the overall length of things and how stuff was working I was like, crap, I need to compress these down to become one thing. These can’t be separate scenes. They need to be shrunk down into one scene. And I feel like I’ve done that in nearly every screenplay I’ve written. And yet I don’t remember us ever talking about that as a topic on this podcast. Have you done this?

**Craig:** Yeah, of course. Of course. Usually I think when I’ve been doing this it’s not as a result of the creative process within but as you point out it’s when we’re going through budget and the practicalities of shooting.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So there was quite a budget battle on Chernobyl. It was a prolonged slog. It was a WWI trench warfare battle. And thank god I had Jane Featherstone and Carolyn Strauss and Sanne Wohlenberg to fight that fight and I never had to get on the phone to do that, thank god. Sooner or later they had to come to me and say, OK, well we have a list of things. We’ve gotten a bunch more but we have to make some concessions. We have a list of things that we could compress. So, let’s talk through them. And then my job – and this is almost I think every writer faces this at some point or another in production is you are the one who knows the difference between hitting an artery and hitting a capillary.

And so your job is to guide people away from the arteries and figure out how to kind of squish the capillaries back into other things.

**John:** Yup. So, let me talk through an example of this and offer some of the choices that a screenwriter might make. So here’s the example. Let’s say you have – this is the middle of a script. You have two characters. You have Denise and Alfonso and they notice a strange smell in their house. That’s one beat. Second beat. They search the house and eventually discover that a family of raccoons is living in the attic. That’s the second beat. Third beat is the animal removal guy hits on Denise in front of Alfonso. So that’s a third beat, which should hopefully be a surprise.

So those three beats, they might be fine. They might work really well. They could be funny. They could build on each other. They could be effective just as it is. But if for reasons of length or budget or just a sense like I can’t have these three beats you need to compress or collapse these. You have a couple of choices. And so let’s talk through what those choices might be.

You could move the first and second beat together. So scene, we’ll call it A and B, could be combined. So we might come into the scene with Denise and Alfonso already searching for the source of the smell. So we don’t see the discovery of it. We don’t see the realization that there is a smell. We come into the scene and they’re already looking and we just set up within the already looking that they smell something. So that’s a choice to compress and combine those two.

Second choice. You could move B into C. So it’s basically cutting out the discovery of the raccoons and going from I smell something to there’s the animal control guy who is getting the raccoons out of the attic. So within C you’d have to explain that there is a family of raccoons up there, but you can get rid of B.

Third choice. You cut A and B and you just do – if the important thing is C, like the animal control guy hitting on Denise, you just do C and you sort of build the setup into the start of C.

Or, if the raccoons were more important than the animal control guy you might cut C and just do A and B.

Craig, can you think of any more choices you might make in terms of getting through those three beats if you had to lose and compress stuff?

**Craig:** No, I mean, those – you’ve got the permutations. And the fact that you’re using A, B, and C kind of, that’s the giveaway that what we’re talking about here is essentially the multiple scenes being reimagined as multiple beats in one scene. Right?

So, setup a conflict, a reversal, a complication, and payoff. This is roughly how these things go. So, what we’re saying here is if someone comes to you and says we have to squish this down your job is to analyze these three beats and say what is actually the purpose of all of this. What am I trying to do here? Is my purpose to show that Denise and Alfonso are a stronger couple than they realized? Well then I need to see the guy hit on Denise in front of him and I need to see probably them already mid-search, freaking out over something together that maybe somebody insists isn’t there. So four people are searching but only Denise and Alfonso smell it. It’s the thing that binds them together. See what I mean? The point of all this can’t be the plot.

The point has to be, well, probably relationship of some sort or even if not a relationship some sort of internal character growth, that’s the part you need. And so now your job is to figure out what is the most essential other bit required to get that part to work.

**John:** Yup.

**Craig:** And a lot of times what you find when you do this exercise is you’ve made things better. Because you’re essentially pre-editing with a good editor, not a dumb-dumb. And we don’t necessarily need to see lots of things. This happens all the time in the editing room where we’re not making these cuts or compressions to save money, we’ve already shot it. We’re making them to tell the story better.

**John:** Yeah. And if you were able to do this in the writing phase versus when it’s on the nonlinear editor in front of you can do a better job. I mean, you can do amazing things in the editing room, but you can do much more cogent and clever things if you do it while you’re writing. I should have said another option is you cut A, B, and C and just find a different way to achieve those same ends. Maybe there’s going to be too much shoe leather to get you through all those beats if you are trying to do this. Maybe you don’t need the animal removal guy and there’s a different way to achieve what you’re trying to achieve by that whole sequence that can be done as a scene.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** A reason why I often find myself doing this in scripts as I sort of think retrospectively about stuff I’ve written is the too many endings problem. Is that a lot of times when I’m compressing and collapsing things it’s because the movie wants to be over and I’m not letting it be over. And so if there’s stuff to pay off rather than have multiple scenes that are paying off one thing I need to get those all to sort of be part of one movement, as part of one action. Because the reader and the audience get tired of things just closing and ending. And they want to be done. And so sometimes you need to compress those moments down.

I’ll often find those beats though in the first act, too, where it’s like I know why I’m setting these things up, but if it feels like we’re just setting stuff up it’s not going to work. So I need to find ways to compress those beats and combine those beats into a single scene rather than have multiple scenes stacked up one after the next.

**Craig:** Yeah. The flow of this stuff wants to be concise. I think it’s a fairly common syndrome for people to want to stretch out. Maybe because some of the movies that turn them on initially are movies that feel very dialogue-y. Many people have remarked that Pulp Fiction gave birth to a million terrible scripts because it seemed like they were Shaggy Dog scenes that would just go on and on and people were talking. And some of them were. But the dialogue was fantastic. And things that were happening as it turned out were pieces of a fairly intricate clockwork mechanism.

A lot of times your instinct is to stretch out and just play through moments and find what matters and find what’s impactful. But ultimately things want to compress. You want less. And so you are going to start collapsing. Even as you’re writing inside of moments you’re going to start collapsing.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** Until what you thought was a sequence of A, B, C, D, and E you realize is really just a sequence of A and B. That’s all it is. It’s just two things. So let’s just two-thing it, not five-thing it.

**John:** Yeah. Great. So that is collapsing scenes. Let us do a big transition to our special guests for this episode. So, about two weeks ago on June 12 the WGA Committee of Black Writers put out an open letter to the town calling for systemic change on a host of issues. To talk about those concerns let’s welcome the co-chairs of this committee. Michelle Amor, Hilliard Guess, and Bianca Sams. Now, we’re all talking on Zoom so we can see each other, but it’s challenging when we have five voices on a podcast. So, Michelle, can you introduce yourself so we can hear your voice and know who is talking?

**Michelle Amor:** Yes. Hi, I am Michelle Amor.

**John:** And Michelle, where are you from and how long have you been writing in Los Angeles?

**Michelle:** Oh, I’m from Chicago. I moved to LA in 2010 to attend UCLA to get my MFA. And I have been writing professionally since just right before that, but also I’m a fulltime professor of screenwriting over at Loyola Marymount University.

**John:** Fantastic. Hilliard Guess, talk us through how long you’ve been in Los Angeles and how long you’ve been a writer. What’s your background here?

**Hilliard Guess:** I’ve been in LA since ’96. I’m a former actor turned writer and producer. And I’ve been writing since about 2000/2001.

**John:** Excellent.

**Hilliard:** I now do film and TV. So I’m back and forth.

**John:** Fantastic. And Bianca could you introduce yourself and how long you’ve been in LA? What’s your background here?

**Bianca Sams:** Hi. My name is Bianca Sams. I am the vice chair. And I’ve been in LA about five years. I was a playwright and an actor. Moved into film and TV. I came for the Warner Bros program and have stayed. And yeah.

**John:** Excellent. Now, Michelle, let’s start with you. So in your letter you start off talking about the public statements that the studios and other companies made in the wake of the George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and other Black people killed by police. How important was it for you that these companies made these public statements, or saying that Black lives matter? How important was it for them to say that?

**Michelle:** It was very important. I mean, at the end of the day it’s very frustrating to be a Black American. I mean, I think a lot of people now are seeing how frustrated we’ve been. I mean, most of the people I know for example we’re contributing members to our society. We work really hard. And we’re just constantly oppressed in so many ways. So, hearing even just the words, it definitely helped. And it inspired us to think about responding to it. And that’s why the letter also had the historical context because it’s important to know where you’re going knowing where you came from.

So we couldn’t let that slide without talking about things like Birth of a Nation and all of the issues that we face every day.

**Craig:** Well I like the fact that you’re not letting things slide. Because I think for a long time that’s kind of been the nature of things, right? People complain and then everybody yes, yes, yes, and then they let it slide. That’s been everyone’s default position. And I want to read this line that you guys wrote which in and of itself is a gorgeous piece of writing. So that’s why I want to read it, because I like reading good words.

It says, you said, the three of you, “Basically either you commit to a new institutionalized system of accountability with and to Black writers, or you prove that you’re putting on just another strategic virtue signaling performance deemed necessary to survive the times.”

First of all, bravo. That’s awesome. And I love the clarity of it. And I particularly love the word prove. Because I think it’s fair to say at this point after about a thousand virtue signaling performances that that’s exactly what the studios and networks have done for all of these years. They’ve just done what they felt they needed to do so they could just survive and not be canceled as the kids say.

So, tell me about the thrust of that because I’m sure there was probably some debate about how to temper this statement. How strong, how aggressive, how not aggressive, how conciliatory. Talk to me a little bit about if there was just an automatic unity of thought of how you should proceed with this statement.

**Michelle:** So, yeah, the whole thing was like, OK, let’s come with facts. Let’s hit them hard. But let’s also leave the door open for real change. Like we understand that we want to work in this business. We’re not saying like blackball us and kick us out. We’re saying, listen, we’re here because we want to tell our stories, too. And now we want you to follow those statements up with some real action. And we used our numbers so you could understand that we understand where the problems lie. If, for example, we’re 15% of the population but we only make up 5.6% of the film writing jobs then that’s a problem that we can work to correct.

**Craig:** Right.

**Michelle:** And those are things that we really wanted to be sure of. And let me just be clear here. It was very important to me specifically that the statement not only said what we wanted to say but it said it very well. We knew we were going to send it out to a mostly writers community. And we didn’t want anyone, “Look at those Black writers. What are they saying?” We wanted to impress the hell out of all of you. We wanted you to look at those words like, “Ooh, look at the command.” That was very thoughtful.

**Craig:** Nailed it.

**John:** Now Hilliard one of the recurring points in the letter is about accountability. So, let’s talk about that because every year the WGA puts out pretty detailed reports about who is getting hired or not hired. We also see university reports about representation on screen. But that feels like a way of counting, and it feels like in your letter you’re really arguing more for a moral accountability that you’re looking for. That you want an outcome that’s not just pure numbers but is actually what you’re describing is a systemic change.

So you say, “We need to revolutionize the way our industry hires writers.” What does that look like? What are some parameters, some benchmarks? And what does the change look like if it happens?

**Hilliard:** Let me just give you a couple things, just to think about it like this. If we have people in higher places, more people will be hired. That’s just the way it is. The reason why a lot of white guys are being hired is because their white friends are there. So it’s the same thing. Which is why, as you see, my favorite line in the entire thing that Michelle wrote was this line. “You need more Black friends.”

So if you think about that, right, then the system will change itself. Because if you had more Black friends in your rooms and not just one, you know, that the system would change itself. So we need more people in places to hire. We need more people in rooms. We need more people in the place with a voice. And we need the opportunity to fail. You know? Three or four key things that I know if you just did that alone things would change.

**Craig:** We’ve been talking a lot about the opportunity to fail. It’s a weird one, because it might be maybe a first instinct to not talk about it, because it has the word fail in it. But there is nothing shameful about failing. Writing is – what is writing? It’s failing a thousand times in a row and then you get what you call your last draft. Right? What’s rewriting? It’s just fixing your failures.

And allowing people to fail, it’s how they learn. It’s how they learn. And I think one of the issues that we know as a town, we were talking I guess it was last week, we were talking about the difficulty of some of the diversity programs whether or not their heart is in the right place, it sort of makes it like come on in, and then if you fail, well, I guess you failed so that’s a diversity failure. Next person in, please. It just doesn’t connect.

**Hilliard:** One of the things that a lot of the TV shows forget when they staff, these writers coming out – and Bianca was in an actual program so she can speak to this specifically, but they forget that she got into that program as an example over like 3,000 or 4,000 other people. You’re talking to the top people.

**Craig:** Exactly.

**Hilliard:** You know what I mean? So their script is better than every staff writer that’s staffed. Do you know what I mean? So you keep forgetting that. And I actually just told this to Jack Melbourne yesterday. I’m like, dude, you guys got to be better. [Unintelligible] it’s ridiculous. I’m sorry, go ahead Bianca.

**Bianca:** No, but it’s also even the idea of failure. Like that’s why they’re not moving up or why that’s not happening for them which is honestly usually not in fact the case. They’re only paid for for one year. And when they have to pay for them then they cycle them out for another free person and they’re not in fact encouraging the mentoring and moving them up. They’re seeing them more sometimes as tissue people. OK, here’s a spot at the bottom. You have the least amount of power. You have the least amount of ability to change the culture in the room. But you have a spot for the moment. Next. Onto the next.

But to go back to something that John said, actually I think the numbers are very important. And I think it’s a thing that if you want to make something better you have to be able to track it. You have to be able to analyze it. And you have to put your energy there to be able to improve it. So you have to be very specific though, right? Like if you have – we don’t have complete numbers, for example. So it’s hard for us to say OK here are really the problems. We’re kind of glossing over and you’re kind of maybe looking a little bit here, and maybe looking a little bit there. And it might appear on the surface that things were improving but in reality if you can’t tell me well how many Black writers are moving from staff writer to story editor, and how quickly? If they’re being asked to repeat four or five times then we can’t actually see that that’s a pattern. It happens year over year over year. How do you go back except for anecdotal information and change that problem?

And I know for myself, numbers again is my thing, I’ve asked for these numbers, I’ve looked for these numbers, and depending on where you go they’re all very different. And it’s hard to just be like what are the Black writers. What are the Black female writers? What are the Black male writers? We can’t get that kind of data. And oftentimes it feels like we’re putting Band-Aids over dams because it’s like, OK, we do this one thing over here and we have these two little things and everything will be fine.

**Craig:** Because there’s this sense that the companies are looking for an answer that will make this all be quiet. But there is no one answer and we’re missing certain – like baseball has a thousand new statistics. I love all of them. But we need an upward mobility statistic for writers in Hollywood in all groups who have been marginalized. Right? We just don’t have that – whatever that factor is, we don’t have it. Sorry, John, I cut you off.

**John:** Yeah. So it sounds like what Bianca is describing is we have good numbers that are trying to speak to equity and access, like sort of being able to get into the system, but we don’t have good numbers about equity of opportunity, equity of outcome. That the same person who is at the same job can move up the ladder in the same ways. And so tracking that and having meaningful statistics that actually follow the path of people through it will help, because like everyone else on this call I’ve heard all the stories of writers having to repeat at levels that they should not be repeating, or not being able to move from being paid out of a different fund out to being the real staff member. And we need to actually be able to chart that better.

**Michelle:** You know, I was talking to a showrunner yesterday about not just getting in as a staff writer, but how many Black EPs are in this town and how many Black show creators have shows on the air and how many Black writers have overall deals? Because that’s where the real power is. When you talk about that power seat, you talk about where are we in a position? It’s like Hilliard said, when you have Black showrunners nine times out of ten they’re creating what we would consider Black content. So they’re going to hire Black writers. And that’s really what’s happening on I would say like the white side or the mainstream side.

But, you know, we can write on any show. That’s the other thing, too. This idea that, oh well, I don’t have any Black characters, I don’t need a Black writer. It’s like excuse me? I love action. I love sci-fi. I love horror. We can write on any genre. And to assume that we can speak for voices outside of our own yet others always try to tell our story. That’s frustrating.

**Craig:** Yeah. White people aren’t shy about writing on Black shows, are they?

**Michelle:** Not at all.

**Hilliard:** Exactly.

**Michelle:** And I think some people, you know, really don’t get how insulting that is. Where you’re not even represented in your own way. Like I sold a show to CBS last year. I remember having discussions with executives about this Black woman. And they were like, mmm, they were not Black, they were not women, and they were really kind of pushing back on me telling them who I am. And I remember I was like, hmm, this is weird. So I’m saying that to say it’s frustrating because we’re constantly fighting to even just tell our own story because so much of who we are it’s like stereotype and frustrating.

**Hilliard:** And when I signed to one of the big four agencies I remember sitting down at the table with them and they were all excited about me. They were going to do all these great things for me. And before I left I said in front of everybody, “Here’s the last thing you need to know. Do not just send me out for things that are Black.” I live in a white world. I know everything about you guys. We’re consumed with you. So to assume that we don’t know you is the most ridiculous thing.

Now, for you to get me is where I’m impressed. For you to get the nuance that we have that’s when I’m impressed.

**Michelle:** Yeah. I always tell my students, I mean, I teach at LMU. Most of my students come from Republican/conservative white families. And I’ll say to them when they say, “I want to tell a story about a poor little Black boy.” My first question is why. Because I say to them you’re probably going to screw it up. You’re not going to get it right. And your reasoning is because you’re being told, oh, I’m won’t get a job in Hollywood because I’m a white guy. And I tell my white male students that’s a bunch of crap. I’m like, no, don’t go in there. You still tell your own story, whatever that is. Don’t feel like you have to try to tell mine.

First of all, you’re not going to get it right. And it’s frustrating because you’re seeing it even in the schools and that’s carrying over. And so professors like me, I’m constantly fighting to teach students to tell their own truth. I don’t care if you’re from a little town in Colorado. Whatever. Tell your story. Tell me about your funny uncle. Tell me about your experience. And that’s what we’re going to be drawn to.

But if you’re trying to force it, and I’m seeing too much of that now. And it’s honestly – it’s just frustrating.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s no lack of cynicism. In every corner of this business, I guess it’s endemic to who we are. But I’m wondering as you guys have gone through this process of witnessing and experiencing both the events of the last we’ll say month and a half but also the events of your entire lives, and looking at the way people are responding now, and I think there I’m pretty much saying white people and white businesses, are you feeling any sense of hope in that there’s a difference? Or is too soon to tell?

**Hilliard:** Well, I mean, a lot of people have asked us, you know, myself, Michelle, and Bianca, what has Hollywood’s response been. Guess what? We haven’t heard from hardly anybody. And by the time we’re through here. Now, we’ve heard from some showrunners going, “Wow, you guys wrote an amazing thing,” but we’ve not heard from the HBOs, the Netflix, the people that we called out going, hey, you guys are the ones claiming this stuff. Do you know what I mean? Let’s see what you guys are doing. Sit down with us. But nobody has done that.

**Michelle:** But I will say this. I have been reached out to several individuals, some of whom have a bit of power, and I think that there’s conversations that are happening. I’m hearing, for example I heard yesterday that one of our top execs in this town on a call and said that he wants to see all of his shows change as far as seeing Black writers on these shows. And it came from a pretty good source. I won’t say who it is.

But I’m saying that to say it’s coming – I’m hearing things. We just don’t want it to be something that’s sporadic all over the place. We really want systemic. And a couple years ago I actually pushed the guild for a Rooney Rule. I really wanted to go out to the studios and have them sit down and come up with a plan, similar to the NFL, where you have to interview us. I mean, again, we’re not asking you to give us anything. We’re saying at least have something in your company where you say, OK, for every job we have to go out to so many Black writers, so many writers of color, etc. And find a way to track that so you can say, OK, we interviewed these number of writers. We were able to hire these many. And over a period of time you can at least track to see how that’s impacted.

Because what’s going to happen is this. If the studios and the production companies and all the networks suddenly change the way they do business then the agencies have to. And we get right now the whole issue with agencies, but then the agencies will say, “Oh, we have to go and find some Black writers because everybody wants some.” We can then get the opportunities that we’re saying we simply would like to have. As opposed to, as Hilliard knows, we always get showrunners that come to our committee and ask us, “Hey, you got any writers? We’re looking for writers.” But they’re afraid to say out loud “Black.” Because they’re like, oh, we can’t just ask for Black writers. I’m like why not? You don’t have any. The first thing is being comfortable enough to have the conversation and say, “We have no Black writers in this room. And we need to change that.”

And so if you can say the words then you can start working to feel some of those positions.

**Hilliard:** And we need them in higher positions is the problem. They hire these staff writers with no voice.

**Bianca:** And if you have a voice you’re penalized for having said voice. You’re at the bottom of the table.

**Michelle:** But let me also add they are looking for Black showrunners. Here’s the problem. Due to the systemic racism – we had writers back in the ‘80s and ‘90s who were incredible writers on incredible shows. As you know the ‘90s had a lot of Black shows. Those writers were never allowed to get past story editor. If they were allowed they would now be showrunners. We would have probably 20, 30 additional Black showrunners in this town who are so talented. They’ve not lost their talent because they’ve gotten older. They just were not able to get the opportunities. And so part of what we’re trying to do at the guild is bring those writers back into the fold and bring them back up. Because they were really torn down. They were devastated.

They were done really dirty. We do stand on the shoulders of some truly talented people. And so part of it is things were taken from us and they need to be restored. The value needs to be restored. Because it’s one thing to say like, oh, we don’t have anybody. It’s like, yeah, because you intentionally prevented that from happening.

**Bianca:** But we’re also recreating those problems now. When people are repeating, and repeating, and repeating. Right? To repeat staff writer four, five, six, seven times you think about how many times are you supposed to, or more people normally. One, two times maybe. Four, five, six. You’re not getting script fees. You’re not [growing pension]. People leave. People fall out. People have a harder time moving up.

So if you think about somebody being four years at staff writer where would they have been in those four years if they were promoted like other people? Or six years? And so we’re doing it now to a new class of people. Last week there were people asking for mid-levels and they’re like, “Oh, well we can’t find any.” And I’m like well maybe look at somebody who has been here for six years, been working on shows every year getting scripts. They’re clearly capable of producing episodes. But they’ve also been kept back. And are you willing to say I’m going to look at an executive story editor who has been here who has repeated staff writer for four years, wrote three, four scripts. Repeated story editor a couple times. Now is an executive story editor. And might actually have more experience than somebody who is technically mid-level but their title says something different.

And so we’re doing sort of the same thing now where we have classes of people who have been stuck. I know myself I’ve repeated staff writer four times. I was asked seven times to repeat staff writer. And I literally had to walk away from things until somebody decided – like until somebody offered something else I would not do it.

And so there’s a system in place as well right now that’s recreating those problems in real time.

**Hilliard:** Which also goes to they always assume that the Black staff writer has no experience whatsoever. They forget most of us have shot movies and produced them. Have produced our own pilots. Have produced proof of concepts. Dozens of them. You know what I mean? So when we get in a room I’m already a co-EP in my head over these other people.

**Michelle:** I mean, true, everyone is not capable we get of running an entire show. It requires a lot. But there’s some pretty dope people out there who could do it. You know? And people do it all the time.

**Craig:** People do it all the time. I mean, it’s hard to get those jobs, but it’s hard for – I mean, it’s hard for everybody in a sense. Like everybody that’s playing here is playing at a professional sports league level. But, yeah, so it’s hard for everybody. The point is people can do it. We know that. It’s doable. So—

**Michelle:** Yeah. Has it been perfect? No. But we’ve done a really good job. And I think back to what Hilliard says, you know, we should be allowed to fail.

And let me talk about because of this we’re artists. Like who wants to create under these stressful situations? Just like everyone, like I want to create beautiful, vivid worlds. John, you don’t know this but one year I went to Sundance and we snuck away and went to go see your movie Big Fish. And I just remember thinking like, yes, like I love movies, I love television, and I just want the opportunity to create my own Big Fish. Like my own work that people can look at and be also as moved.

And that’s why we’re here. So when you’re creating and you’re constantly worried like, oh, I have to represent the whole race. That’s exhausting. Right? I want to get on a show. I’m sure you don’t think like, oh, as a white guy, I’ve got to represent all white men.

**Craig:** Oh yeah. I’m trying to not represent white men. That’s my new thing. [laughs]

**Michelle:** We want to represent the world and have fun, you know. I know Hilliard loves like cool cars. I’m sure that would be something in his show. And Bianca probably has some like mad genius or something in her world. I don’t know. Those are things that made us want to come into this industry in the first place. And we get that Hollywood is a microcosm of America. But to your question, I do believe there is a change. It’s why the statement was written. We think that there is a paradigm shift. What we plan to do though is to hold them to it.

So we’re not done. We’re also preparing to, you know, take some more action.

**Craig:** Good. Yeah.

**John:** Let’s talk about those next steps. So, if I’m a Black WGA member listening to this and I want to get involved, what do I do next? How do I reach out to you? What happens?

**Michelle:** Well, we have a committee. And we meet – of course, because of the pandemic things were a bit off. But we’re going to have a new meeting in August. We also have an incredible meet and greet coming up in July. We have 100 of our brightest, most talented writers. There are going to be 33 showrunners. Like a speed dating session.

**Hilliard:** Meet and greet.

**Michelle:** So we have a lot of things that we do already for our committee behind the scenes. And a lot of people don’t realize. It’s like oh wow what’s going on over there. But because of the pandemic we had to, of course, slow things down. But we’re planning a bunch of virtual panels and events for the remainder of the year because as you know in America Black people are dying at the highest rate from COVID-19. So we are not going to take a chance on our lives.

That’s another thing. You know, with the industry opening, it’s like are they fully thinking about Black lives? Again.

**Craig:** The answer is no.

**Michelle:** You get the virus. Yeah, we get that you could live. But—

**Craig:** Yeah, right. I think, yeah, staying home is a good idea. I think staying home is a great idea, actually, for all of us.

**Bianca:** Another quick thing if they haven’t already, just for stats purposes as the number person, if you have not already self-identified on the website that is really, really helpful. I’ve been getting most of my staff from there. And some of it is that people have not self-identified. You can also email us and join the CBW if you are a Black writer. And come to the meetings and figure out how you too can get involved. We have a lot of great things coming up. Financial literacy things. Things outside that aren’t just about the industry straightforward.

So, get involved. Get excited. And, you know, we’re moving and shaking.

**Hilliard:** We have a Facebook page, too, that they can join.

**John:** Cool. Bianca, Hilliard, Michelle, thank you so much for joining us on this. It was so good to talk with all of you.

**Craig:** That was awesome. Thank you guys.

**John:** Thanks for all your hard work. And we look forward to hearing what happens next. We’ll keep an eye out for you.

**Hilliard:** Awesome. Thanks for having us man.

**John:** Thank you.

**Craig:** Thanks. Keep going. Keep going.

**John:** And Craig it’s now just you and me. It is time for our One Cool Things.

**Craig:** One Cool Thing.

**John:** You got one?

**Craig:** Yeah, I do. I don’t know, your dog Lambert – is Lambert a picky eater?

**John:** He was a very picky eater when he first came to our house. He’s a less picky eater now. What do you got?

**Craig:** Well, we have our wonderful dog, Cookie. She is fantastic. She is also just a little princess when it comes to food. Good, she’s so, mmm. So dogs can’t just eat treats all day. They need real actual kibble and stuff like that. Or some certain wet food. But she just literally will turn her nose up at it. She’ll look at it and then her nose will go up and she will walk away.

So, it’s getting frustrating, especially because sometimes she gets so hungry that she’ll barf.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** They do that. Because they have too much bile building up. And you’re like, well, if you’re that hungry just eat the food. But she’s like, no, I don’t want to. It’s gross.

So, in looking around I had some other stuff that I used to crumble on it and put on it. And it sort of worked a little bit but not great. Now – now I have Marie’s Magical Diner Dust.

**John:** All right.

**Craig:** Marie’s Magical Diner Dust is made my Steller & Chewy and it’s some kind of horrifying – it’s like basically the stuff that dogs like the most is the stuff that would make us puke the most. It’s like it’s made of skull and chicken dicks and stuff. So it’s just dried up little powder. So I sprinkled a little bit on there and it was like I had brought out some cocaine in the club. She just went bananas. And just immediately started eating. So, thank you Stella & Chewy for your Marie’s Magical Diner Dust for dogs. So gross. So effective.

**John:** Excellent. When Lambert first came to live with us he did not like our food. And so we experimented with different foods to get one that would work with his system well. But then he would still be really picky about eating it. When Megan McDonnell would dog sit him she couldn’t get him to eat at all and she would have to like sort of hand feed him kibble.

What we discovered was pretty useful which if other people want to try this before reverting to dinner dust is you take a tiny bit of peanut butter and rub it on the inside of his bowl and that was appealing enough that he would start to lick the peanut butter and he was like as long as I’m here I guess I’ll eat the kibble too. So we would soften his dry food.

Now he’s just gotten over it and so eats his food. We wet it down a little bit and he’s a good eater.

**Craig:** Yeah. No, so I’m envious. This dog, trying to get her to eat, ridiculous. What about you, John? You got a One Cool Thing for us?

**John:** I do. So mine is an immersive light field video with layered mesh representation.

**Craig:** Of course.

**John:** This is from SIGGRAPH 2020, so a big visual effects conference. Click through the link here, Craig, and it’s something I’ve sort of speculated we should be able to do soon but we finally now have the computer processing ability to do it. If you can imagine if you took a whole bunch of Go Pros and layered them all around a big sphere you could get a full 360 view of things. They’re doing that, but then they’re doing incredibly computational intensive processing to make a full field view from that. So, you can film something and then in real time move to any space in that video in any space in that world. You click through in the little sample videos you’ll see a guy with a homemade flame-thrower.

**Craig:** It’s really cool. Yeah.

**John:** And so you can move around in 3D space while it’s happening, so it feels kind of like a videogame, because it is kind of using videogame engines to take real video and figure out the surface mapping of stuff and create 3D models out of it. It’s really impressively done. So I would just say it’s a little preview of stuff you’re going to be seeing in movies in about six months.

**Craig:** In six months?

**John:** Well, I think you’re going to see application of this kind of stuff in movies coming really soon. Because the moment you can do stuff like this in a demo everyone is looking at this and it’s like I already sent it through to a director I’m working with. Oh, we’re doing this, aren’t we? He’s like, oh yes, we’re definitely going to do that.

**Craig:** Look, it’s awesome. I’m looking at it. It’s really, really cool. I can definitely see how it would actually enhance videogames for sure. I don’t know if I would want to watch a passively observed story like this.

**John:** Oh, no, no, no. I’m not saying you’re going to see the whole movie that way. But I’m going to say like bullet time in the Matrix, there’s things like that where I can imagine us moving through a space and moving through a battle sequence where the different fields of planes are in different timings. You could just do really amazing things if you had this kind of information.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And it’s the kind of thing which, again, you could do right now with just pure visual effects. But to actually have the real photography behind it will enable some amazing things.

**Craig:** That’s very cool.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Very cool.

**John:** And that is our show for this week. So stick around after the credits for our discussion of professional sports. But if you’re not a Premium member you’ll have to just wonder. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is a classic Matthew Chilelli outro. He’s done some of our best ones. It’s actually how he became our editor is by doing a whole bunch of outros for us.

If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you send longer questions or things like we read today. For short questions, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust. Just today Craig replied in a really great thread about someone’s question and concerns, so thank you for doing that, Craig.

**Craig:** You got it.

**John:** So follow Craig. We have t-shirts. We have t-shirts at Cotton Bureau. They’re terrific. You should check those out. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find the transcripts.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments. Craig, thanks for a fun episode.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** All right, Craig, baseball is coming back. Basketball is coming back. I am weirdly excited for both of them.

**Craig:** Are you? [laughs]

**John:** I’m excited because it’s a new thing and I’m really curious how they’re going to do it. I also feel like I like when systems and structures try to react to the outside world and find a new normal.

**Craig:** Oh my god. That’s the most robot thing you’ve ever said. Sorry, that’s the second most robot thing you ever said. The first most robot thing you ever said was immersive light field video with a layered mesh representation. [laughs]

**John:** So, for our international listeners who may not be following what’s happening in American professional sports, the NBA, the National Basketball Association has announced that they are planning to kind of resume this season. They’re moving all the players and families and coaches and staff to Orlando, Florida where they will be playing a truncated version of this season and going into the playoffs. And we will have a national champion. Do you call it a national champion? What do you call the winner of basketball?

**Craig:** Oh man. It’s just the champion. It’s the champion. NBA champion.

**John:** NBA champion. That’s what I was looking for. So they’re going to do that but it’s going to be a highly tested environment. But even as we’re recording this today like a bunch of players already tested positive for it, so there you go.

**Craig:** Yeah. Yeah.

**John:** But so basketball I think will probably work. I mean, the teams are relatively small in these pretty controlled environments. Baseball is outdoors, which is great.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**John:** But, you know, usually teams travel and so it’s not like everyone is going to go to one place where they will do all baseball.

**Craig:** [laughs]

**John:** I just don’t know.

**Craig:** Yeah, how will they do baseball? This is the most important question. Look, I think – I’m more worried about the NBA. Because basketball is a contact sport. We don’t think of it in the way that football is a contact sport where you’re encouraging contact, where it’s required on every play, but basketball players are in each other’s faces. They are up against each other physically. They are sweating on each other. And they’re smashing into each other and falling down on each other. Whereas baseball, everyone is actually quite far apart.

I mean, some players, when you’re in the field are really far apart.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So, who is close together? And I’m going to remove the dugout from the situation. So in the dugout all the players are waiting to have their turn at bat if they’re in the lineup. You can work that out. You can have sort of a social distancing dugout kind of situation. In the field the catcher is pretty close to the home plate umpire and the batter. But if they are wearing – I mean the catcher is already wearing a mask. And you should be fine.

Beyond that there is not a ton of contact in baseball. People slide into base and they’ve already reduced the amount of contact just per the rules to reduce injury. So I’m not so concerned transmission during a game between players. It’s what happens in between the games that’s obviously the problem. Because it’s just hard to keep people who are working together from, you know, being near each other and potentially infecting each other. And all those players – sorry, many of the players have wives and they have children. And, you know, there’s more vectors for infection.

Obviously there’s not going to be fans. We’re not doing that. Have you seen what they’ve done, I think it was in South Korea where baseball is very popular, they filled the stands with stuffed animals.

**John:** Which is exactly how it should be at all times.

**Craig:** So great. It was so great. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. And then I saw one photo of an orchestra that was playing–

**John:** To potted plants, yes.

**Craig:** Yes. An audience of plants, which is very sweet. It will be weird.

**John:** Well, so baseball it feels like all your potential concerns and objections, like they have families, they’re going to encounter other people. Yes. And also everyone else who is going back to work in any capacity is going to have those same problems.

**Craig:** Yup.

**John:** So it’s similar to that. Except there’s additional travel with baseball and it looks like they’re taking efforts to travel less than the other ones would.

**Craig:** Yeah. I think if they can reduce the travel down, because obviously far fewer games are going to be played. I don’t think anyone is going to look at this season as a “real” season, no matter who wins the World Series. It will have an asterisk a mile wide next to it because it’s just a weird year. There was a strike-shortened season where there was another asterisk World Series winner. So, it’s just a weird one. But the players want to play. And the owners want the players to play. And there is money to be made from the television rights. And I would watch, for sure.

I did years ago when–

**John:** Craig, one moment though. Because from a television viewer perspective, someone who is just watching a baseball game, it doesn’t necessarily going to feel any different. I mean, I don’t know that you would necessarily know there was a problem–

**Craig:** It will. Oh yes.

**John:** Tell me why it will feel different.

**Craig:** Because it’s silent. So, baseball games are loud. Baseball stadiums are much larger than indoor arenas where NBA teams play. They are not as big as football stadiums, but you’re talking typically about somewhere between 25,000 to 50,000 per game, outside, cheering.

**John:** If only we had a way to pipe in sound that wasn’t actually part of a scene when it was recorded.

**Craig:** That would be awful. If you had artificial crowd reactions it would be the worst.

**John:** Bum-bum-bum-bum. Yeah.

**Craig:** Yeah. It would be just awful. It would all sound like a videogame.

**John:** So it’s going to feel like golf is what it’s going to feel like.

**Craig:** It’s going to feel like golf. There was a game that was played years ago when Freddie Gray died in the custody of police in Baltimore and civil unrest occurred which as we know solved the problem of police brutality. Anyway, just amazing, right? We’ve been doing this – that’s a whole – I’m not going to go down that road again. But just, argh, police.

So, Baltimore had a curfew. They were essentially shut down for a day or two. But I can’t remember which team, maybe the Angels, were in town to play the Orioles and they played a game in an empty stadium. And it was the weirdest damn thing I’ve ever seen. Because like you just heard stuff. It was weird. It was just like – yeah.

**John:** I watched, this past week was the worldwide developer’s conference for Apple. And so some years I’ve gone. I always watch it and there’s always a live keynote. And it’s a big thing and it’s a huge crowd. And obviously they couldn’t do any of that this year.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And they made choices like, you know what, we’re going to change the format completely. We’re going to lean into it and not try to do the normal things we’re doing and they did a much better job. So I think it will be weird at the start but I bet they can also just find ways to film it differently so that you’re not expecting some of the moments that you would normally expect with the crowd.

**Craig:** I am laughing at you, not with you. Because the thing is we don’t really film – I mean, yeah, occasionally you’ll look at, they’ll have a crowd shot. But by and large it’s just the sense of the crowd reacting as things are happening is part of what’s going on. And there’s always this low crowd hum.

It’s a little bit like when they show you–

**John:** The sitcoms without the laugh tracks?

**Craig:** Yes. It’s that eerie. It’s just eerie.

**John:** Oh, that would be so good.

**Craig:** Because it’s like, OK, it’s 3-2 and bases loaded and two outs. This the payoff pitch. And in those situations the crowd is at a fever pitch. Every little moment is just adrenalized. And in this one it will just be like…and he struck out. Silence. Everyone just walks back. It’s gonna be weird.

**John:** Yeah. It’s gonna be weird. But let’s talk about how weird basketball is. So they’ve made a completely different choice. It’s sort of New Zealand’s choice of we are going to isolate this group of people and not let them have any encounter with the outside world. In theory that should work. If you actually keep a tight quarantine on these people they can be as in each other’s face as you want because there will be no virus for them to transmit.

**Craig:** Right. Good luck.

**John:** Yeah. Good luck. I genuinely wish them good luck. But it’s going to be tough.

**Craig:** This virus, I mean, COVID particularly, it’s like water. It’s going to find any little crack and it will get through. It just doesn’t seem realistic. It really doesn’t. If they can pull it off, great. Just remember people are going to have to be feeding them. There’s doctors and there’s food service and there’s janitorial service and there’s shopping. You can’t – it’s not Bio-Dome. You can’t seal them up.

**John:** Yeah. My mom is in a senior living place and it’s kind of Bio-Dome-ish. They are pretty – they’re vigilant. And, again, I’m not confident that there will never be a case at her place, but they’re taking the precautions that they can take. And so I guess on the NBA side I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt that it’s worthwhile to try doing what they’re doing.

**Craig:** Yeah. You can theoretically Bio-Dome folks who generally have reduced mobility and independence anyway. Bio-Doming 20 to 40 year old men and their wives, their significant others, their children. Listen, obviously I’m not rooting for anyone to be sick. I hope it works. I really, really do. And weirdly I would say basketball – it will be less weird to watch without a crowd because basketball is a playground sport. It’s everywhere. So we all have the experience of watching basketball where there’s no crowd. You just go down to any of the basketball courts, like Venice. When you go down to Venice here in LA there are these famous basketball courts. It’s where they shot a bunch of White Men Can’t Jump.

And they play. You’re just used to it. You’re not used to seeing baseball games with no one there. It’s just not really a huge thing. And so it’s just going to be interesting.

**John:** Yeah. A good experiment. We’ll see how it all plays out. No one is expecting the NFL to come back. Correct?

**Craig:** If the NFL came back that would be madness. I don’t know. It would be absolute madness. But they might. I mean, that’s the thing. The amount of money behind all of this is extraordinary. Yeah. But until a vaccine happens – I mean, yeah, I don’t know. That one seems weird to me.

**John:** And so it seems like none of these issues will impact anything in our direct lives, but literally I was having a conversation with a network about plans for this thing I may be working on. They’re like, “Yeah, it’s really going to be a question of whether NBC does the Olympics or not, or when those happen.” We’re trying to think like two or three years out for where stuff is going to be. And it’s like, yeah, that’s right. The Olympics is a huge, huge – obviously it’s an athletic event, but also three weeks of solid programming. And if you don’t have that, that’s important.

**Craig:** I think a lot of the folks that are in those executive suites are doing the only thing they can do which is make plans. But as they’re making plans I think they’re all well aware that their plans are pointless. They are doing what – they don’t want to sit there and do nothing, but no one knows how this is going to go. No one. Anybody that has any kind of certainty is a lunatic.

**John:** Yup. Thanks Craig.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

**John:** Bye.

 

Links:

* [WGA West Committee of Black Writers Call on Hollywood to Revolutionize the Way Our Industry Hires Writers](https://deadline.com/2020/06/wga-west-committee-of-black-writers-co-chairs-call-on-hollywood-to-revolutionize-the-way-our-industry-hires-writers-1202958013/)
* [Immersive Light Field Video with a Layered Mesh Representation](https://augmentedperception.github.io/deepviewvideo/)
* [Stella & Chewy’s Freeze-Dried Raw Marie’s Magical Dinner Dust for Dogs](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07SM1QT2J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)
* [Hilliard Guess](https://twitter.com/HilliardGuess?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor) on Twitter
* [Bianca Sams](https://twitter.com/writesamswrite?lang=en) on Twitter
* [Michelle Amor](https://twitter.com/MichelleAmor?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor) on Twitter
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Matthew Chilelli ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/458standard.mp3).

The original post for this episode can now be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/getting-staffed-in-comedy-variety).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 457 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the podcast we’re going to be talking about comedy and variety shows, how they’re written, and how you get a job writing them. We’ll also be talking about studio diversity programs. Now, you might say John and Craig how much do you really know about these things?

**Craig:** Oh so much. So much. [laughs]

**John:** And the truth is not a lot.

**Craig:** Oh, right, sorry.

**John:** Which is why we have a very special guest joining us.

**Craig:** I forgot, it was not a lot.

**John:** Ashley Nicole Black is a writer and performer whose credits include Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, Bless this Mess, and a Black Lady Sketch Show on HBO. Ashely, welcome to the program.

Ashley Nicole Black: Hi, thanks for having me. It’s so weird to be able to talk back to you guys.

**Craig:** I know. Finally. I mean, all of those moments where you were frustrated or angry or disgusted, you get to express them directly at us in real time.

**Ashley:** Well usually I’m just washing the dishes more so than very angry.

**Craig:** All right. Well don’t do that now. Right now I think you’ve earned the right to not wash your dishes while you do this particular episode.

**John:** But we wouldn’t be upset if you were washing your dishes. If we hear some clinking it’s absolutely fine. Now, starting any conversation with a person these days has to begin with how are you holding up. So, how are you holding up, Ashley?

**Ashley:** You know, I had really found a rhythm with isolation and was doing really well. And then with George Floyd and the protests I got sucked back into that 24-hour news cycle. So I’m just starting to get back to the like being able to work and not being glued to the news portion of quarantine.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Now, you are working now, right? Because we’re scheduling this after you just finished a writer’s room. So are you back in a virtual room?

**Ashley:** Yeah. I’m in a virtual room on an Apple show. I don’t know if I’m allowed to ever say the show exists.

**Craig:** Oh.

**John:** Craig is also on an Apple show. So you guys both have Emmys. You both have Apple shows. You are pretty much the same person.

**Ashley:** Soulmates.

**Craig:** Yeah, I feel like maybe John if you want to just go, just go. Because we have secret Apple/Emmy stuff to talk about.

**Ashley:** Emmy-winner convo.

**Craig:** So much interesting information about that. [laughs]

**John:** I’ve just done the virtual Skype version of CC’ing two people into an email chain and now I can leave.

**Craig:** And then backing away. I love that move.

**John:** Now, we’re going to talk about comedy variety writing, we’re going to talk about diversity programs, but also for our bonus number I want to talk about fireworks because I know you and I actually we have opinions about fireworks and I want to get into that for our bonus topic for our Premium members.

**Ashley:** Oh, I have so many. I’m excited about that.

**Craig:** This is going to be good.

**John:** Now, while we have you here, you are in a writer’s room. We asked on last week’s program for tips for people who are in these virtual writer’s rooms, what they’re using in the room. Chad wrote in, and Craig can you read what Chad wrote in for us?

**Craig:** Yes. Chad writes, “I’m a long time Scriptnotes listener and I got my first professional writing job right at the end of March. We’ve been using the virtual whiteboard tool Miro for everything from breaking out macro story beats across all the episodes of the season to laying out choice maps, player activity for individual scenes. More seasoned writers, particularly those who work primarily in TV in our room had differing opinions on the effectiveness of this tool, but I really like it. And I started using it for my personal projects on the side.

“We use Asana for organizing due dates for deliverables, distributing scene work for a given week, and tracking what stage each scene is in currently, first draft and review, revision, and that sort of thing. Honorable mention to Google Docs and the almighty Zoom, but I’m sure those are pretty well known at this point.”

Sounds like Chad’s working in videogames, yeah?

**John:** Yeah. So I cut off the little first part of that, but it was a hybrid videogame kind of project. Now, are you using anything like Miro for a whiteboard? What are you using in your room right now Ashley?

**Ashley:** No, we’ve just been using Zoom and Google Docs, which means you have your Zoom really tiny on one side of the screen so you can also see the Google Docs. So it’s not ideal.

**John:** And who is responsible for updating the Google Doc? Is everyone typing into the same thing? Is there a writer’s assistant who is doing that work?

**Ashley:** The writer’s assistant, yeah.

**John:** Now, talking on Zoom, how deep are you into the show? How many weeks is this now that you’re in.

**Ashley:** It’s only been a couple of weeks, so we haven’t gotten into the nitty gritty where the technology is going to fall apart yet.

**Craig:** Right. I was about to say. Because the deeper you go the more stuff that goes on the normal whiteboard, and then there’s the erasing and the boxing around a thing. The different colors. I’m particularly fond of the different colors. So, it does seem like as you get deeper in it’s going to become a bit of a struggle to maintain it. I’m kind of curious, Ashley, if you feel like there’s any – is there an impact on just the creative flow simply – I mean, obviously not being in a room together is one thing but literally just the virtual board versus the actual board, do you feel like it’s impacting anything?

**Ashley:** The biggest difficulty I’ve found, and we haven’t like I said gotten that far into story yet, is just like the inability to interrupt each other. I didn’t know how important that was to writing.

**Craig:** [laughs] Well, I mean, there’s probably a little bit of an upside there. Perhaps people that had been interrupted or talked over a lot maybe get a chance to finish?

**John:** A thing I’ve noticed on a lot of these conference calls I’ve been having on Zoom is that when someone starts monologuing it’s very hard to send the signal that they need to stop, that they’ve been talking too long. And there have been times where I’ve had to text a person saying like, “OK, please stop now because you made your point and it’s time for us to move on.”

**Ashley:** And sometimes you can tell that they know. Like you can tell that they know it’s time to stop talking, but no one is making them.

**Craig:** It’s so great. I love that. I call that like failure to land. They know they’re supposed to land. They’ve been cleared to land. They just don’t know what to do. So they’re circling the ending of a remark. It’s amazing to watch.

**John:** Silence also plays so differently on a Zoom call than it does in a real room. Because there’s moments where when people are physically together where that silence is kind of meaningful. Because everyone is like OK we’re all thinking together. You can sort of see the process, the shifting in seats. It doesn’t play that same way in Zoom, so there’s this instinct to have to fill up those silences. And I don’t know that that’s healthy either.

**Ashley:** Yeah, you don’t get that feeling – there’s just a feeling in the room when everyone loves something but they’re quiet, or when everyone hates something but they’re quiet. And you don’t know. You just know that people are quiet.

**John:** Is there any good way that you’ve found to sort of signal your excitement about something or signal your disapproval? Are you guys using thumbs up? Is there any way that you can tell somebody that, yes, I really appreciate that idea? What are you guys finding – also, I don’t know how big your room is, but people are not muted normally, or are they muting? What’s the policy with your room?

**Ashley:** I’ve been muting, I think most of us have, just because like I have a dog who might bark or whatever. So I usually mute. I’ve been doing a lot of nonverbals, like vigorously nodding my head, just trying to visually communicate. But one really funny thing that happened was that one of the writer’s baby toddled in to the Zoom. And we all like raised our hands and cheered, because she was so cute. And then our boss was like, “Why are you making fun of me?” And we’re like, no, no, there’s a baby. [laughs] We can see a baby.

**Craig:** So cute. I do the same thing, by the way. I’m a big believer in the very broad nodding yes and shaking head no.

**Ashley:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And don’t do it like once or twice the way you would normally do it in real life. Because everybody has kind of peripheral vision in real life. But the cameras take away our peripheral vision. So somebody has to actually notice your thing. And so you kind of do it until you realize that they know. And it’s a way to sort of get to the heart of it without having to talk and interrupt people and hijack the audio.

**John:** So please keep sending in your suggestions for what’s working in your writer’s rooms and if you have some best practices or just little policies that you guys have figured out in your rooms that seem to be helpful, send those in and we’ll compile the best of them because we’re all learning together how to do this crazy stuff of writing virtually.

I mostly want to focus on comedy and variety, because this is a topic that a bunch of writers work in this space and we really have not had kind of any guests on to talk about writing for this space, how you get started writing for this space. And Ashley I kind of just want to start from the really basics. When we say comedy and variety what kinds of shows are we talking about? Name brand names so people can get a sense of these are writers working on these shows. What kinds of shows are comedy/variety?

**Ashley:** Yeah, the ones that come on late at night. So it’s Full Frontal. It’s all the Jimmy shows. Saturday Night Live. Sketch shows. All those shows that you stay up late to watch.

**John:** Great. And something like a Black Lady Sketch Show, which is a once a week. It’s a series but you’re writing those sketches as a room or people are writing those individually. Is that still under the auspices of what we consider comedy variety?

**Ashley:** Yeah. I think it’s variety sketch in the Emmy category.

**Craig:** I like that. Variety sketch. You know, variety shows used to roam the earth like dinosaurs. You know, when there was like – so it was like sketches, and then there would be a song, and then there would be like a weird dance thing. Like when I was a kid we watched the Mandrell Sisters. My sister and I would watch the Mandrell Sisters.

We don’t do that anymore. So it seems like mostly it’s going to be a comedy show. Like a sketch show is a sketch show. And I have to say they’re much better now. We’ve come a long way.

**John:** Well, what’s also weird about it is there’s a whole genre of show that is about that genre of show. And so like the Dick Van Dyke show is about writing a late night show, or a variety show. 30 Rock is about writing a weekly variety show that’s like SNL. So it’s weird that we have onscreen representations of what it’s like to write those shows. And yet I still don’t think I truly understand what it’s like to write. So can you talk us through, you were on Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. As a writer on that show what does your day look like? What is your responsibility on that show?

**Ashley:** So, that show is a weekly show that shoots on Wednesday. So our week starts on Thursday. And we would usually start the moment with like a big pitch meeting. Everybody in one room. People pitching stories that are of interest to them. And typically you want to have a take at that stage, but even if you don’t you can still bring in like an interesting story and let’s talk about this.

So we would pitch act twos which on that show is the slightly more evergreen act. So you could pitch that on a Thursday and spend a week or even up to a month working on something like we did one about rural healthcare. Like, issues that are going to continue to be issues a couple weeks from now. And then typically you would get assigned anywhere from one writer by themselves to the entire staff to work on an act and come up with a take together as a group and kind of a way through it. And then everyone go off and get their chance to write their draft alone, which is like my favorite part of the process that we would work on a take together but then you do get to have your own draft, which is great.

And then someone, either the head writer or the supervising writer, would take all of those drafts and compile them into one. And then we would have rewrite which is again everybody back in a room going through line by line, beating every single joke, cutting stuff, getting it as funny as possible. And then you rehearse it. And then you do that again. And then you shoot it. And then you’re like, oh, OK, wow, that was exhausting, and then you start it all over again the next morning.

**Craig:** Oh my god.

**John:** So talk to me about, so you say in a room, how many people were in a room for something like Full Frontal with Samantha Bee? What was that room like bodies wise?

**Ashley:** That was a smaller show. I think anywhere between seven and 10 at the most. But some shows would have like 14 staff members.

**Craig:** Now, a show like Saturday Night Live, they have this hybrid format where there are a number of people who are just writers, and then there are a number of people who are writer-performers. I suspect there a probably a couple of performers that don’t do much writing, but it’s kind of a blend. On your show, on Black Lady Sketch Show, was that kind of the way you did it? Were the performers also writing fulltime? Or was there kind of one group of writers, one group of performers?

**Ashley:** There’s one group of writers and one group of performers. I happen to be in both. But some of the performers are not.

**Craig:** Got it.

**John:** Now, going back to a more traditional weekly show like Samantha Bee, you know, talking about, so you’re pitching your takes. And so you Ashley would show up to work on Thursday morning saying like these are two or three things that I think are good story areas or good topics. Your job is really kind of pitching. How long is a pitch for that kind of thing is what I’m asking? How fully fleshed out is it or is it just an area that you’re trying to pitch?

**Ashley:** It really depends on what you’re trying to pitch. Because there are some stories, like a Trump story as soon as you hear that he had a hard time walking down a ramp you know what’s going to be funny about that. And you can just come in in the morning and go, “Trump had a hard time walking down a ramp,” and you’ll probably get approved. But if you’re doing something like we did a piece about the people who are suing the Catholic Church about sexual assaults that happened to them. The humor there is not apparent. So you’re probably going to do a lot more work before you bring that in to be like, “I promise you I have an angle and a way to write jokes around this topic.”

**Craig:** You’re drawing off of a certain substrate of facts when you’re working on something like Samantha Bee. There are topics. There’s facts. There’s journalism. And there are people. And then you’re kind of building this thing around it. But for A Black Lady Sketch Show this is just pure fiction. You are creating something out of nothing. Which do you find – a two-part question – which is harder and which is more satisfying?

**Ashley:** They’re hard and satisfying in really different ways. It’s very hard to take some of these political stories and make them funny. It’s not an easy thing to do. But the stories exist. So if you need a pitch, you don’t have a pitch that day, all you have to do is go to cnn.com and you’ll find something.

**Craig:** There it is, right.

**Ashley:** Whereas like on the sketch show you don’t have to draw from the news, so you can just do things that are funny to you in your heart. But on a day where you don’t have a pitch there’s nowhere you can go to find one. You really have to pull it out of your brain.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Now, talk to us about money. So, on these shows—

**Ashley:** Yes.

**Craig:** Get specific.

**Ashley:** I love talking about money. [laughs]

**Craig:** Can you please just quickly scan and email your tax returns? Because we want to get really granular about this.

**John:** Are you paid on a weekly basis? Are you paid – because you’re not paid on drafts? As screenwriters we’re thinking about drafts. But you’re paid on a weekly basis I’m presuming.

**Ashley:** Yes.

**John:** Are you guaranteed a certain number of weeks? How does it work when you’re hired on to one of these shows?

**Ashley:** I think it differs from show to show. On a lot of shows I think you have a 13-week contract. I think it’s different on every show.

**John:** And so for those 13 weeks you are exclusive to that show and what are your hours? So you’re saying you’re starting the pitches on Thursday. Are you working through the weekend? What is your actual life like? Or is it more a Thursday, Friday then crank on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday again? What is your life like when you’re on one of those shows?

**Ashley:** It varies from show to show. So when we started at Full Frontal the show aired on Mondays and so we did find ourselves working over the weekend a lot. Because if something changed on Friday like you can’t air old news. We would have to work over the weekend. That was one of the reasons the show moved to Wednesdays because people didn’t want to work weekends. But I know like on John Oliver’s show which I think they shoot on Sunday they work one weekend day and have another weekday off. So it kind of depends on the schedule of the show.

But the schedule is forever. Like there are definitely nights – I would say on a normal night I would get home by seven, but there are definitely midnight nights. There are two in the morning nights. There are I never left the office nights. The first time I was on a half-hour I was like we’re going home at 5:30? Really, we can all just stand up and leave? What? [laughs]

**Craig:** Yeah, I mean, everything I’ve read it does sound like comedy sketch shows or I guess we can move in the sort of news comedy shows into that same category are brutal jobs in the sense of the time commitment and the idea that it is timely. It’s repeating. And if you don’t have it you just got to keep going until you do. Is it healthy? That’s my question.

**Ashley:** I mean, no. I used to – I would get up at six o’clock in the morning and turn on the news in my apartment and have the news on while I got ready in the morning. I lived across the street from the office, so I would just walk out the door, walk back in the door. There are televisions showing the news on every wall, including in the office, like directly in front of your face. And it’s on all the time. And you’re watching these tragic horrible things happening and your brain is going I have to turn this into a joke? Which is just a weird place to live mentally.

But that being said the people I did that work with are my best friends in the world, because sometimes I remember one of our writers, Eric Drysdale, will just come in my office, lay down on the couch, and hug a pillow. And I’d be like, “You’re good, buddy.”

**Craig:** Yeah. That’s me every day basically.

**John:** It does sound like it’s this weird hybrid of like all the challenges of journalism where you’re having to keep on top of this moving thing with all the challenges of normal comedy writing which is how do we actually make this thing funny. How do we iterate, and iterate, and iterate until it’s as funny as it can be? Yet the lifetime of it is so transitory. Like, you know, an episode of that show doesn’t have very much of a life after that time. So, you know, yes that second act piece that you did might still be relevant months later but all the topical news it vanishes, just disappears. That’s so different than other kinds of writing that we do. Or you transitioned to half-hour writing. So talk to us about that transition because moving from where you have such a rush and a hurry to get this week’s episode up to you can actually kind of plan for things and there’s scripts. What was that transition like?

**Ashley:** I think it made me really good. Because you can’t be precious about your writing at all when you’re writing on a daily or a weekly schedule. Like whenever I wrote that, the President fired Jeff Sessions, we’re throwing that thing away, we’re making fun of Jeff Sessions. It is what it is. And so when I got to half-hour I was really used to writing very funny, very fast. And the schedule is just slower and more spread out. And I remember texting my friend who was still in a late night room like “We spent the whole day today talking about if two characters should kiss. And then we went home at five o’clock.” [laughs]

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s this other thing that’s sort of fascinating about – I guess we’ll call it topical humor or kind of fast humor. So, Saturday Night Live is both topic and week after week after week, and the same thing with something like Oliver or Samantha Bee. And that is that the stuff that you’re creating for the moment, but it’s there forever. And as we move through time the one thing I think we’ve seen over and over again is that what people think is funny as opposed to what they think is offensive or not funny or unfair changes.

And there’s an interesting kind of danger in that business. And I wonder if when you were in those rooms if there was ever a sense that you were going to be held accountable for the work down the line.

**Ashley:** You know, interestingly I don’t think that was something I thought about a lot because on both of the comedy variety shows I’ve been on they were very feminist, woman-focused shows. And so we were already punching up. And it’s like that will probably always be OK. But there were definitely times like on Full Frontal where like news had changed and we had covered something and we’re covering it again and it’s like do we play a clip of Sam saying something about this thing and now she has something more or different to say about it? There were like self-referential moments. Like I remember one of our first shows we covered a mass shooting. And then there were like seven more mass shootings. And at a certain point you have to say how many times am I going to stand here and talk about this and acknowledge the fact that we’ve done this before.

**Craig:** Right. Interesting.

**John:** Something like Samantha Bee, she has a very distinctive voice. Do you need to learn to write in her voice? Do you learn these are things that fit sort of Samantha Bee and wouldn’t fit other people? Was there any challenge of getting used to her flow and her format? Or is it just you naturally sort of feel it? Did you feel like you were writing to a character named Samantha Bee? Or were you writing what you wish you could say?

**Ashley:** A little bit of both. I definitely like when I was doing my packet, went to sleep with headphones on listening to her voice. Like I definitely studied and learned her voice. But also as a Black woman there were moments where I was like here is something I wish a white lady would say on TV. And I had one that I could give words to which was an amazing gift.

And then sometimes I would do that and Sam would be like, “You’re crazy. I’m not saying this. You’re in the show.” And I was like, no, I want you to say it.

**Craig:** Yeah. Samantha Bee is smart.

**Ashley:** Yes.

**John:** So, Ashley, you refer to your packet. So I think it’s time to transition into that part of it, because the packet is part of how you get hired in late night and comedy variety. Before we get to it let’s talk about how you got started here and sort of what is your background before writing on these shows? If someone has the goal of writing on these shows where should they start and let’s start with where you started. What was your route to getting to this point?

**Ashley:** I started at the Second City. So I actually grew up here in Los Angeles and so I actually knew as a kid that TV was a job and there were other jobs other than just being an actor. But I always wanted to be an actor. But there was no one on TV when I was a kid who looked like me, so it didn’t seem accessible to me. So I went to grad school. I did my masters and most of my Ph.D. hoping to teach performance studies. And while I was doing that I took a class at the Second City and did sketch comedy once and was like, oh, this is it. Because you got to write for yourself and that was the part of acting that didn’t work for me was letting other people write for me.

So I started doing sketch at the Second City. And a lot of people who come out of there end up going into late night. And people would always talk about packets. But it was always like this truly evil thing where people would be like, “Yeah, that packet we did last week was tough, huh?” And everyone would talk about it. And I’m like, oh, last week, so it’s over. You didn’t mention it until it was over.

**Craig:** Ah. Man, behind the scenes. So tough.

**John:** Yeah. So, let’s define some terms here. So, what do we mean by a packet?

**Ashley:** So the shows will send out usually to agents and managers, and then comedians get their hands on it and pass it around amongst their friends. A packet, like the list of things that you can write to sort of audition for the show. So it’s going to be all the things they do on that show. So like at Full Frontal it’s going to be monologues and field pieces. On Jimmy Fallon he does like desk bits and sketches, so that’s going to be in there. It’s basically whatever they would do in a normal week. You’re going to write like a couple examples of that. And probably also just some loose jokes which probably you already have in your Twitter. And send that off to them so they can see that you can write that style of show.

**John:** So when I first joined the WGA board someone reached out to me on Twitter saying like, “Hey, could you take a look at late night writing packets because it’s crazy how much work they’re asking you to do. Basically to audition for a job.” It’s like if you want to be a writer on CSI and they said like, “Write us a CSI as a sample.” There was just a huge expectation of work going into this. Hours and hours of time and a lot of material. And the sense that like even if that material wasn’t directly making it into the show it kind of could be leaking into that show.

The whole writing packet process is fraught. And I think we’ve been able to make some changes both in the East and the West with some best practices going into that, but I want everyone to be aware that this is a thing that happens in comedy variety that does not happen in half hours or hour-longs, in traditional scripted TV. That sense that you are specifically writing an audition piece for that show that you’re applying for.

**Ashley:** And it can weed out people who don’t have leisure time, right? Like my packet for Full Frontal was 25 pages long. I was someone who had been writing for a long time and could write 25 pages in a week and had like a job where I could take the hours to do that. But if you work like retail and you can’t take time off you’re writing 25 pages in the middle of the night. That’s just such a disadvantage compared to someone who has like leisure time.

**John:** And a lot of times these shows would also say like, OK, bring in your references and your research for these things. So basically you’re not just can you tell funny jokes, it’s like can you research at this thing and provide a lot. So it’s a huge amount of expectation of work there.

**Ashley:** And it’s work you would never have to do, because once you’re on the show there are researchers. But to do the packet you have to do all your own research.

**John:** Now Ashley, those researchers on the show, are those people who want to be writers on the show? Is that an entry level job for them?

**Ashley:** It isn’t. And that is a misconception that I’m happy to dispel. So a lot of the researchers are journalists, or like studio producers. If you want to be a writer you will find being a researcher very frustrating. And so I think sometimes people do take other jobs in late night hoping to move over to writer. And you can do that, but it will be harder on your show. So if like you’re a researcher on Full Frontal then do a packet and try to get on John Oliver’s show. You can definitely do that. But you’ll be frustrated if you become a researcher and think it’s going to turn into joke writing.

**John:** So these other comedians were not telling you about the packets that they’re writing for other places. They weren’t telling you that this was an opening out there. How did you finally find out about it? How did you submit for these things? What was the process that got your work in front of people?

**Ashley:** It’s like a very specific story to me but I do think that there are practical applications. So, like I said I was working at the Second City and I had worked with Dwayne Perkins in the past. And then when Stephen Colbert’s new CBS show came out they announced – they did like a big announcement of their writer staff and it was like 500 white men and two white ladies. And it was just like, oh, Colbert is supposed to be like – he’s from Second City. Being a Second City trained person, that’s like the show I should be able to like at least have a chance to apply for. And not only did I not, but I never even heard about the packet. And I’m in with the in crowd with that show. Right?

So I had posted on Facebook back when we used to do that. And I was just like, you know, it’s so disappointing to see that he has this all white, mostly male staff. And even as like a Second City person I couldn’t get my hands on a packet. And, of course, people got angry at me and were like if you didn’t get picked it’s because you’re not a good writer. And I was like you don’t know that because I didn’t get to write. I didn’t even get a packet. [laughs] I didn’t get a chance to write.

So, Dwayne Perkins had like seen that Facebook argument and he was like, “You’re exactly right. I got a packet recently. It’s 100% for you. Put your money where your mouth is. Here’s the packet.” And it was the one for Sam Bee.

**Craig:** That’s pretty great. I do like it when racist people on Facebook are really bad at arguing. [laughs] It’s just kind of funny. Like did you not read what I said? Look at the words. Ah, Facebook.

**Ashley:** Racists historically do not like to read.

**Craig:** You know what? They’re not big readers. Or thinkers. Yeah. You know, there’s an interesting study there. Maybe it’s just like whatever weird shame, it makes you hate books and words. It just stretches to other human beings.

**Ashley:** Well, it’s the opposite. They did a study and they found that people who, like novels teach your empathy. People who read more novels have better empathy skills.

**Craig:** It makes total sense. You have to put your mind in another person’s mind. Yeah. By the way, that’s what writing is. It’s why when writers talk about things and I’m like how is it that you can write somebody that’s different than you but you cannot imagine how this person across from you is thinking differently? Then it seems like a weird deficit.

**Ashley:** The whole gig is just imagining being another person.

**Craig:** Yeah. Like, hello? WTF.

**John:** So Samantha Bee is the first time you’re hired on. What is like to be working into that room for the first time? And how do you learn the rhythm and sort of when to speak and when not to speak? Because we’ve been talking on the show about your first time in a writer’s room, traditionally you’re sort of breaking out a season of a show and sort of like when you speak up and when you don’t speak up. Any guidance for the first time someone is in a comedy variety room? Like how to sort of get their feet underneath them?

**Ashley:** Yeah. I think a lot of podcasts tell people like, oh, if you’re a staff writer you shouldn’t talk, but talking is your job. So maybe don’t take that advice. When I started on Full Frontal most of that staff had been on The Daily Show, so it was of course like intimidating because they – I had never worked in TV before. And many of them had been on The Daily Show for like a decade.

And so I was kind of quiet to start off. But then I realized like, oh, yes they have TV experience that I don’t have, but I have a perspective that’s really important that I need to speak up. So someone had like pitched a story that unknowingly would have been very upsetting to the disabled community, like from a place of pure innocence. But as I’m listening to it I’m like, oh no, Twitter is going to kill us. And I was like, well, I can’t not – so I just had to say, “You know what, I’m sorry, I hate to be this person. Everyone is so excited about this idea. But Twitter is going to kill us if we accidentally say this thing. Maybe a different angle that wouldn’t do that is this.” And our showrunner pulled me aside and was like, “I was waiting for you to realize that there was a reason why I brought you here.”

And it was so validating. It was like, oh yeah, I’m here to be that millennial who says. And then I felt better and I started pitching a lot of stories. And I actually got a lot of pitches on in the beginning I think because I purposely curated my social so that I was following a lot of activists and people who were on the front line of news stories. So they would be tweeting about something that was going to be news in two days. So I could bring that story in first.

And then also the silly little advice I give people is pitch for the cold open and the tag. Because nobody cares about those. They’re having a hard time getting pitches on. They’ll always let you write a tag.

**Craig:** That’s great.

**John:** Now, Ashley, I want to talk about what you said there with the disabled community was going to be on you if you ever say this thing. One of the things I’ve been hearing a lot about these last six weeks is don’t ask the person of color in the room to be the brakes. Don’t ask that person to always be the one who has to be the person saying like, no, no, that’s wrong. Don’t ask the most junior person in the room to speak up when there’s a problem. Help me square that. Because it sounds like in that case thank god they had you there to do that. But it shouldn’t always be your responsibility to do that. Right?

**Ashley:** It shouldn’t be and it’s so much extra work that only that young or junior writer of color is doing. And it’s so unfair, especially when you, the staff writer, has to tell an EP that they’re wrong. Like that’s horrible. The power imbalance feels so bad. So, hopefully you’re not putting that person in that position. But because you have unconscious bias you may accidentally do that and then it becomes about how you respond. Like I remember when I was on Bless this Mess there was a storyline that I was like, oh, I don’t know. I don’t know if I buy – Pam Grier is on that show. I don’t know if I buy a Black woman doing this. And immediately our showrunner was like, “You’re absolutely right. Thank you.”

And she wasn’t defensive. She didn’t argue me down. She didn’t get her feelings hurt. She just said thank you and we moved on and started improving the pitch. Like you would if someone said like, hey, maybe we should cut these two lines of dialogue. And that’s how you should respond to everything.

**Craig:** Well there’s this notion that if somebody challenges one of the things that you’re presenting in a room either you have some sort of core shame attached to it or you don’t.

**Ashley:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And I think a lot of people have just a ton of core shame around anything that involves race or gender or sexuality. Any of these areas that we consider to be kind of slightly electrified train rails, you know. Because we’re afraid or we want to do well and then when somebody challenges you the shame kicks in and then there’s this defensiveness. And I think you’re making such an interesting point that actually there is nothing – it’s not personal. It’s the work. Right? So the work is what makes sense. What connects here? There is no need necessarily for shame. And I feel sometimes that behind some of that defensiveness is like a weird self-protection, like no, because I’m not a racist so therefore this is not racist or problematic.

**Ashley:** Exactly.

**Craig:** Well, no, no, you can definitely say things that are incorrect or problematic or upsetting without being a bad person. It’s called you didn’t make the right choice the first time. That’s what writing is also, right? That’s part of it.

**Ashley:** Yeah. Like any time in a room someone says like, “Oh, I think we can beat this joke,” we’ve like built a callous over the part of our heart that gets our feelings hurt by that.

**Craig:** Yes!

**Ashley:** And it’s just a value neutral, OK, let’s try to beat it. And I think we have to get there with these issues, too. And obviously you’re a human being. You might feel shame. You might get hot in the face. Take a walk around the block. Don’t put that on that poor young staff writer. Because I have seen people get shutdown and just stop talking for the rest of the season. It’s very easy to do.

**Craig:** Yeah. No, that’s such a great point. People are encouraged to grow that callous over their sense of pride of ownership, pride of authorship, and in fact it’s a bit of a badge of courage that, dude, I don’t even feel anything man. Yeah, well first of all we all do. OK? Everybody feels something. When someone says, “Don’t love that joke,” everybody – you should. You’re a human being. You’re going to feel something. But it’s contextualized. You are a funny person. You have had funny things get into the show. You will again. No one is saying that you’re not funny. They’re just saying congratulations as a human being you’re not batting a thousand. And I think that extends to everything.

That’s such a useful perspective, I think. When these moments of rubbing up against each other happen, not good rubbing up against each other but bad rubbing up against each other, that you kind of are able to sort of let yourself grow the callous over it and not feel shame. Take the walk. Don’t put it on the other person. Don’t try and make your discomfort go away by denying that anything happened problematic in the first place.

**John:** I think it comes back to the idea of an action versus an identity. And a thing I’ve seen people talk about on Twitter this last couple weeks is to do a racism is to recognize that you did a thing that wasn’t right and it could have been unconscious or whatever, but let that be a thing that happened and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are that person who did that thing. Because that’s where you get in that cycle where you start denying it and all these things.

There’s an opportunity to acknowledge and address it and move on. And that helps that young writer who pointed out keep speaking up in the room and it helps everyone just sort of figure out the way forward through this and not have it be so focused on your identity, just the work that you’re doing.

**Ashley:** And that writer’s ability to keep speaking out is going to save you a bad day on Twitter, I promise.

**Craig:** That’s absolutely true. There’s a great self-interest that you could examine and I think that is – obviously there’s a value there. But, you know, even if theoretically someone could whisper in your ear and say, “I’m from the future and you get away with it on Twitter, no one notices,” there is a human being there who you hopefully are encouraging to grow. Because definitionally you’re describing somebody that’s not in charge talking to somebody who is in charge. And we’re going to get into this whole theory of how you do let people grow and how to prevent I guess – what’s the version of the ceiling that isn’t even a ceiling? [laughs] Right?

You walk into a room and your head is already bumping up against it because essentially it’s like welcome to the entry level where you will stay forever.

**Ashley:** Yes. Hope you like it here.

**Craig:** Exactly. This is your home now. And you did have this fascinating thread on Twitter where you were investigating diversity programs and that was one of the concepts that came up. So maybe we should talk a little bit about that thread and what you were trying to say.

**Ashley:** Yeah. I’ve never done a diversity program. But I hear about them so much from my peers and it’s like among the entry level people of color one of the biggest pain points. And I just thought like, well, those people who have done one or who still hope to do one as their way into the industry probably feel like they can’t say these things. But I can. And so, yeah, I went on a good old birthday rant.

**Craig:** Oh, that was your birthday? Oh.

**Ashley:** It was my birthday.

**Craig:** Happy Birthday.

**Ashley:** Thank you.

**John:** Happy Birthday. So, some of the points you make in this is that these programs recruit people who don’t necessarily need them. And so you’re an example. Like you came through Second City so you probably could have applied for one of these programs, but you already had the training coming out of this that you kind of would have gotten in one of these programs right?

**Ashley:** Yes, OK, I did apply for them. I applied for all the diversity programs. I didn’t get in. And then I got a job on television. And a lot of my friends who were doing these programs were with me at the Second City. They had the exact same training I do. And I would watch as our white friends would get a staff writer job and our friends of color would get a diversity program.

**Craig:** Yes. And so there’s this weird thing that’s happening in two directions in this point that you’re making. One point is that there are people who have done programs like UCB or Second City who if they were white would have already then graduated from something. Essentially it’s like you’re done with your thing, so you move along. Like you don’t need to go through another thing to graduate through.

Which I think is really important to put into focus. When you have this program that then is like – it’s like putting a lobby in front of a lobby, right?

**Ashley:** Maybe this conversation is the end of my career, but when you—

**Craig:** Trust me, our careers will end way faster.

**Ashley:** [laughs] When someone presents a problem to you of like there aren’t enough people of color at your network or whatever and your solution is a training program, what you’re saying is you assume that those people need training. You’re assuming that they’re less than. And you know there was a time where people of color didn’t have access to universities or to these post-graduate training programs, but we do. So you’re now taking someone who has gone to college, gone through a Second City, and IO, a UCB, often for ten years, and then saying you need more training, even though the person who is sitting in the classroom next to you is ready.

**Craig:** Right. Exactly. And you may already have more actual training than that person. Because there’s a special training bucket, you end up in the training bucket. And you know because you applied, didn’t get into those programs, and then got the thing that those programs are supposed to train you for. I have the same relationship with film schools. I didn’t go to film school. I didn’t go to any of that stuff. And then I just did the thing that I’m doing. And the point being that there is the most essential training. The only real training you can ultimately get is job training that isn’t training – a job. Right? They got to throw you in the pool and you must swim. No floaties. No little special zone in the pool. You got to go in with everybody else and start swimming.

**Ashley:** And I think the problem they’re attempting to address is like when you’re on that first or second or third even staff writer job typically someone is going to take under their wing and kind of mentor you a little bit. If it’s not the showrunner, one of the other EPs. And I’ve certainly experienced that and been so grateful for that. And I think that people tend to choose – when you choose your guy who you’re going to do that for it’s often someone who looks like you.

So, I think in their minds they’re thinking, oh, a person of color may not get chosen as anybody’s guy, so let’s run them through this training program. But the training program is not the same type or quality of information that you would get as being on a job and having a senior level writer take you under their rein. So they’re not replicating the thing they’re trying to replace.

**Craig:** They’re not replicating the thing they’re trying to replace. It’s such a perfect way of saying it. Everybody knows, right? It’s not like people don’t know. This person is a trainee. This person is a rookie. That’s too very different jobs. And it does seem like there’s got to be a way to get us out of that loop.

I think that people sometimes think that, oh, these are essentially positive things. But, John, my question for you is behind all of this do you suspect, what I suspect, which is that the companies are just being cheap. They’re using training as an excuse to pay less.

**John:** So, I think there is a noble intention, or there was a noble intention behind these programs. So I don’t want to put a negative – original intention on this. But I think the realities are if a studio can get away with paying less they will pay less. And in many cases the people who are coming out of these programs they’re able to pay these people a training late, some lesser rate, or pay them out of a different fund so it’s saving them money to do this. And I think it overall limits the growth of some of these writers who are coming to television this way. Because if I can pay you X or I can pay you 75% of X, you know, as a studio I want to pay you 75% of X. And I worry that that’s really where we’re at right now.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And that’s why we probably need to take a very critical look at what we’re doing here and so that we are hiring Ashley out of Second City, not hiring Ashely, we’re bringing her into the training program after Second City. Giving her the job she should have.

**Craig:** Like Ashley says, so Ashley another point you make is because there is this trainee rate where they’re getting away with paying you less, they’re incentivized to keep you on that level.

**Ashley:** Or, to swap you out for another person of color. Because when it would be time for you to go up to the next level, like story editor, and probably get a pay bump. What is happening is that they’re just swapping that writer out and getting another new diversity program writer who is free again. And so it’s like when you tell someone that someone is worth less they’re going to treat them like they’re worth less. And it also makes it seem like writers of color are interchangeable.

Like we had a Black writer, and now we’ll just get another Black writer, as if that person is going to come in with the same experience and skills and life knowledge that they were bringing to the room.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Yeah. That idea of paying someone less makes them worth less is something we’ve talked a lot about with assistants over these years. And this is another example of that where it’s just when you give a discount for certain kinds of people in that room it has an effect. And so I think a writer is a writer and needs to be paid like a writer is where we’re coming down to.

While we’re still talking about money, I do want to circle back to comedy variety overall. Did you get residuals? Did you get paid residuals for the work you were doing on those shows?

**Ashley:** We did because the two shows are on TBS and HBO. So we did get residuals. I only found out recently that on streaming a lot of comedy variety writers don’t get residuals, which is like – that’s already nuts, but there’s no script fees in comedy variety. And there’s no advancement. You’re either a staff writer or the head writer. So there’s no like sort of guaranteed pay bumps. And there’s no residuals. So it’s just people working 45 hours a day for way less money than everybody else.

**John:** So you’re working in scripted television, working on Bless the Mess, or the show you’re working on right now, is that better pay and a better life for you?

**Ashley:** Yeah, it’s definitely a more chill life. There are a lot of comedy variety writers who only want to write comedy variety for the rest of their careers and they’re great at it. I don’t think that a lot of people are trying to move into scripted. But, they’re doing – they are a writer. They should at least be getting residuals and at least be getting the same level of financial gain that everybody else is.

**John:** Yeah. Particularly if they’re working on a streamer show, because the difference between if you’re writing a show for Netflix versus a show for HBO, and one gets residuals and one doesn’t, that’s crazy.

**Craig:** Well, you know, we’re kind of bumping up against this issue that we were discussing before. The churn of this kind of work. Because residuals ultimately are for reuse and if you have material that’s sort of got a – like I mean I guess some people sit and watch old episodes of Jimmy Kimmel, but not many. Mostly you’re just watching it that night. And so reuse isn’t a huge part of it, which means that the companies that are employing writers have to essentially balance that out so that – I mean, obviously you want to make sure that the people who are working for you can make a living. And that as an employer you are an attractive option for those people because, you know, as we’re hearing Ashley is appropriately describing the – I mean, this is like fox hole stuff. Right?

This is really hard to do. I mean, listen, just as a side note, always go for the more chill, if you can. Just always. This job is hard enough. Life is hard enough. Being a writer is hard enough. We already have our own mental problems that we’re dealing with. So chill – always I say gravitate towards chill.

**John:** We have a couple questions here and I’m curious about your perspective on these, Ashley, so I’m going to ask you first to answer these questions if you wouldn’t mind. Vito in Vegas wrote in to ask, “About a year ago a friend told me about an idea he wanted to turn into a screenplay. The idea was simple as ‘a heist film that takes place in a shopping mall’ with no other plot points, story, or characters discussed. Since then we’ve had a pretty big falling out but I really like the idea of a heist film in a shopping mall. Is it stealing if I write my own take on that idea? Does it only become stealing if I were taking plot points and characters? When is stealing an idea actually stealing an idea?”

Ashley, what do you think?

**Ashley:** I think, I don’t know, my perspective might be different as a sketch writer. Because as a sketch and a late night writer you’re going through so many ideas that to me it is stealing and stealing an idea – I don’t know why you would do it. Because you have 45 ideas a day. Just use one of the other 44. That’s such a vague idea that you could just have another one.

**John:** Craig, what do you think?

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, the idea, a heist film that takes place in a shopping mall, is not intellectual property. It is not copyright-able. What Vito is really asking us to make is an ethical determination. And I tend to side with Ashley here. Like, yeah, no, you could. There’s nothing your ex-friend can do about it legally. But how will you feel? And maybe is there something else you can write? And also honestly Vito that’s not a great idea. Sorry. It’s just not.

**John:** It’s not a great idea.

**Craig:** It’s not a great idea.

**John:** We’ve spared you from that.

**Craig:** We’ve seen a billion heist movies, and so it’s in a shopping mall. Who cares? I don’t care. That was also Bad Santa. So, yeah, you know, it was Bad Santa. It’s been done.

**John:** What I find so fascinating about this question is that, OK, if it weren’t an ex-friend but a current friend would you be considering it? No. You wouldn’t be considering it because that’s your friend and you’d be betraying your friend. Or at least you would talk to your friend about that. Are you going to actually write this thing or are you not going to write this thing? But because it’s an ex-friend that you had a falling out with maybe that makes it OK? No. That doesn’t change the valiance of whether it’s OK or not to do this thing.

So, move on. I think Ashley had the best approach. Because really it’s a sketch idea. It’s just a loose idea out there. You can have other good loose ideas. Leave this one be, Vito. Don’t – thanks for writing in, but don’t take this idea.

**Craig:** Nice use of the word valiance, by the way.

**John:** All right. Thanks. I try every once and a while.

**Craig:** No, I love it.

**Ashley:** It’s on his calendar today.

**Craig:** I know. Today the word of the day is “valiance.”

**John:** I ripped it off. It’s like, ooh, valiance. That’s the new word.

**Craig:** Let’s see.

**John:** Do you want to try Hunter?

**Craig:** Yeah. Let’s pose this question to Ashley. Hunter from Washington writes, “This is sort of a follow up to your recent podcast about the use of police in mass media. That’s from Episode 455. Which made me wonder about my current project. I’ve been working on and off for the past two years on a drama feature about a minority teenager struggling against the nature of society while attempting to achieve his dreams. One of the characters currently happens to be a family member who is also a local police officer. The problem is I’m white and come from a middle class household so I haven’t experienced the injustice that I’ve been writing about. With the recent protests I feel like I woefully unqualified to tell the story and am worried that what I am doing will be seen as extremely insensitive should I ever release it to the public.

“Here’s my dilemma…” I’m already interested because I don’t know where the dilemma is, but let’s go on. “Here’s my dilemma. Should I continue to write this screenplay while avoiding the traps that typically appear with Hollywood portrayals of police and racism? Or should I simply accept I am too privileged to write something like this and write something else? I’m passionate about this story as some elements are personal to me, but I don’t want to write something that could considered by many to be insensitive.”

Ashley, any thoughts about Hunter’s – I’m going to downgrade it from dilemma to predicament?

**Ashley:** I feel really bad because he said he’s been working on it for two years, but he lost me at the word minority.

**Craig:** I was going to say. I don’t even like saying it.

**Ashley:** Yeah. I feel like if you’re calling your character a minority and not a Black person or a Mexican person you’re probably not ready to write the script. I’m so sorry.

**Craig:** Oh yeah. John, what do you think about Hunter from WA?

**John:** So, he says there is a personal aspect of this story. I think that’s what he needs to focus on and there’s probably some version of the story that he actually has real insight, both personal insight and emotional insight. But I think he’s trying to project it onto characters he is no ready to write and parts of the world he doesn’t understand. And I don’t think it’s going to work. And so not just because it’s like the politically correct thing to do, but I think it’s actually the correct writing thing to do and career thing to do is for him to focus on the story that he’s uniquely well-qualified to write and not try to write this thing that he himself seems to suspect he’s not the right person to be writing.

**Craig:** That’s the part that I’m kind of catching on. I mean, Hunter, I think you have to listen to your gut here. You can write anybody and you are allowed to write anybody. Writers, we are here to write characters and we should and can write characters that are not just like us. However, if you do so please be aware you have to get it right. If you’re going to write somebody that isn’t you other people that are more like that character need to look at it and go that feels right. Which means homework and listening and empathy and practice and thought and connection. So a lot of stuff going on there. And it doesn’t sound like you feel like you’re on solid ground there.

The other thing to investigate is whether or not your story is going to fit in a kind of story we’ve seen a lot of. For instance, if your story is about white people helping a Black kid, we’ve seen it. A lot.

**Ashley:** We’ve seen it more than it’s actually happened I would argue.

**Craig:** Correct. There is 1.5 of those movies for every time it has happened in reality. [laughs] So, I think that we don’t need more of those. Sometimes people think that they have a good idea for a movie because it’s just like other movies they’ve seen when in fact that’s the best argument that you don’t have a good idea for a movie. So, I think that you should listen to your gut here. You’re not a bad person. In fact, you’re a good person I would argue because you are being aware and you’re being thoughtful and you are taking the time to do something that a lot of people don’t do.

So, on that front I think well done. Listen to your gut here. And remember there’s lots of other stuff you can write.

**John:** For sure. It’s time for our One Cool Things. So, I have two One Cool Things. One of them is Ashley Nicole Black on Drunk History. So I was looking through clips and you’re on Drunk History Season 5 Episode 3 talking about Nichelle Nichols and Star Trek. It is fantastic. My question for you, so we’ll put a link in the show notes to this, my question for you is how does the drinking part and the recording of the audio work on that? Because you tell the story so well and yet you clearly have some alcohol in you. What is that experience like?

**Ashley:** That’s one of the top three drunkest I’ve been in my life. And one of the other three is another episode of Drunk History. So very drunk. And so basically like there is someone there who is very patient and whose name I couldn’t possibly remember who will get you to repeat a sentence over and over again until you get it right.

**Craig:** Oh my god. That’s awesome.

**John:** Well and it’s absolutely delightful. So people should check that out. The other thing I was listening to this morning, NPR did a reading of the Emancipation Proclamation in celebration of Juneteenth. And the Emancipation Proclamation, I guess I never actually read it. It’s not inspiring reading. It’s not poetic. It’s just a list of exceptions kind of to the end of slavery except for these cases.

But what’s fascinating about the NPR reading of it is – I’ll link to the page that has it – is they have a whole bunch of NPR hosts reading different sections of it. And so the first time I’m seeing like, oh, that’s what Audie Cornish looks like. That’s what Korva Coleman looks like. All these people whose voices I’ve heard in my head all these times. Oh, that’s the face that goes with it. So, I always find it so fascinating when I listen to the radio or podcasts because I end up building a face in my mind for what that person looks like and it’s never even remotely close. And so it was a chance to see some of the faces of all these NPR people I’ve been listening to for years. So I’ll put a link in the show notes to that.

**Ashley:** Can I make a confession about this show?

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** Tell me.

**Ashley:** I thought you guys were the opposite. Like, I had seen a picture of Craig at some point and thought that man was named John August.

**Craig:** Oh wow. That’s awesome.

**Ashley:** A really long time.

**Craig:** That’s so great.

**John:** That’s excellent.

**Craig:** That’s amazing. But, you know, it doesn’t really change anything, does it?

**John:** No, it really doesn’t it.

**Craig:** I mean, you just thought all that time that agency agreement guy named John August was such an asshole. [laughs] And now you’re like, oh no, that man named John August is a very nice man.

**John:** So Craig has a beard. I could not grow a beard if I tried. That’s one way to sort of keep it.

**Craig:** Have you tried?

**John:** I have tried. It looks really bad.

**Craig:** Aw. I kind of want to see it now.

**John:** You want to see it?

**Ashley:** Quarantine is the time.

**Craig:** I mean, really.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I was just looking, by the way, at the Emancipation Proclamation. They have on the national archives they have the actual document which was handwritten, of course. And it just strikes me that it’s four and half pages long of just handwriting. Now, today any bill, even a bill to name a post office something is usually about 4,000 pages long. I just think it’s remarkable that before I think government became over-lawyered and burdened down by all these things that you could do something like free an entire race of people in 4.5 pages.

Now, you could also argue that maybe they should have been a little bit more thorough in their 4.5 pages because in fact the whole point of Juneteenth is that Emancipation Proclamation didn’t seem to take effect for a while. At least not in Texas. So I guess there’s a tradeoff. They could have used a few extra pages there it seems.

**John:** Or quicker enforcement.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** That too. But there was a war, so it happened along the way. Ashley, do you have a One Cool Thing to share with us?

**Ashley:** Yes. It’s the Loveland Foundation, which is an organization that helps Black women and girls access therapy. So if you want to access therapy you can go to their website and there’s places like find a therapist. And you can also donate and help pay for somebody’s therapy.

**John:** That seems great.

**Craig:** It’s called the Loveland?

**Ashley:** Yes. The Loveland Foundation.

**Craig:** OK. Bookmarking. All right. My One Cool Thing is, you had it listed here on our Workflowy John as “also” but I’m stealing it because I was already planning on it.

**John:** All right.

**Craig:** Our good friend, friend of the podcast, Mike Birbiglia, he has his many wonderful shows. Mr. Birbiglia – by the way, Mike Birbiglia’s movie Don’t Think Twice is – I was thinking about that when you were talking about, Ashley, talking about people who don’t mention the packets. Like that weird jealously thing that happens in the improv world.

**Ashley:** Oh man. I saw that movie with another comic. And it was one of our first times hanging out and we both liked walked out of the theater and were like goodbye. It destroyed us.

**Craig:** I love that. He’s going to love that, too.

**Ashley:** A very good representation of what it’s like.

**Craig:** Yeah. It’s sort of like he knew that world.

**Ashley:** That is a story he was uniquely qualified to write.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** Indeed. Indeed. So he had this wonderful show called The New One which was referenced both to the show itself and to his new child. And he and his wife J. Hope Stein, which I love, but anybody that is a fan of Mike’s comedy knows that he refers to his wife as Clo, which is not her name. Regardless, they have a book called The New One which includes poems by his wife. She’s a fantastic poet. And her poetry features in the show.

That book is now available I believe.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Everywhere. Including in print and in audio books. So The New One by Mike Birbiglia with poems by J. Hope Stein, aka Clo, is my One Cool Thing.

**John:** So the other “also” here was because he also has a brand new podcast and he’s probably listening to us right now saying like, no, mention the podcast.

**Craig:** I know. I can hear him saying that. Why aren’t they mentioning the podcast?

**John:** Mike Birbiglia seems like a nice person, but you can tell you don’t want to get him angry.

**Craig:** That he’s the devil? [laughs]

**John:** I don’t want him angry at me.

**Ashley:** He seems nice to me.

**Craig:** That’s the best thing you’ve ever said. Mike Birbiglia seems like a nice person. But I think we all know he’s Satan.

**John:** Yeah. But he’s also driven. His new podcast is called Working it Out. It’s him working on new material with other comedians and creators each week. And it’s great so you should take a listen to that because he’s a very smart, funny person. And it’s also cool to see the process of creation happening kind of live. This is the time he would normally be out on the road working on his new thing. And instead he’s doing it through a podcast. So you should listen.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** If you are a Premium member stick around after the credits because we’re going to be talking about fireworks. But otherwise Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Eric Pearson. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com.

That’s also the place where you can send long questions like the ones we answered. But for short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust. Ashley you are?

**Ashley:** @ashleyn1cole.

**John:** And so you find her there. That’s actually we found you. That’s how we first met was on the Twitter.

We have t-shirts. They’re great. Get them at Cotton Bureau. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find the transcripts.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments.

Ashley, absolute pleasure to have you on the show. Thank you so much for joining us here.

**Ashley:** It’s going to be weird to listen to the podcast and not be on it after this I got to say.

**Craig:** Well, I mean, if you’re looking for a podcast job…

**John:** If you’re looking for a podcast job. Actually what we’re saying is please come back often, OK?

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Ashley:** Would love to.

**John:** Thanks.

**Craig:** Awesome.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** Now, Ashley, you live in Hollywood. I live just south of you, just south of Hollywood. Can we talk about fireworks and the fireworks situation?

**Ashley:** Has it been a month? It feels like it’s been a month of every single night fireworks.

**John:** From Memorial Day on, honestly. Just hearing fireworks all the time. Not like happy big fireworks in the sky. Just like pops and explosions. And most frustratingly during the time when Melrose was on fire and there were actually smoke grenades and stuff like that I would also hear them. And so like is that fireworks? Is there some civil unrest happening nearby? Fireworks, no. Stop the fireworks.

**Ashley:** Yeah. It’s like every night it’s like helicopters and tiny explosions. And my poor little dog is like we shouldn’t be outside. And I’m like but this is where you have to pee. It’s just like, no, no, no, it’s not good. And it’s every night I have this shivering being hiding in my bathroom that I can’t do anything for.

**John:** Yeah. My dog is the same way. So, fireworks I think are appropriate for the Fourth of July. Second tier is New Year’s Eve. Great. I can take some fireworks on New Year’s Eve. Let’s keep them special for those days. I don’t want the fireworks for the unveiling of the tree at the Grove. No. The tree is the celebration at the Grove. We don’t need fireworks for that either. I just – I’m kind of anti-fireworks. Craig, you’re being very quiet here.

**Craig:** Counterpoint.

**Ashley:** No.

**Craig:** We should have fireworks every night. Hear me out. Hear me out. First of all, the dogs will get used to it.

**Ashley:** No they won’t apparently. It’s been a month.

**Craig:** They need like a lot of them. The problem is that they’re getting random fireworks. They need to know every night at say 10pm there’s an amazing fireworks display that brings everyone together. Beautiful. We can all look up. We can ooh and ah. And we all—

**Ashley:** They can’t see color.

**Craig:** That’s OK. Because a lot of them are white and black. Like, you know, they shine so a lot of flashes of light that disappear into the night. So they can like that. And also maybe like we could put some sort of flavor in the fireworks. Like a chicken flavor or something. I was thinking of my dog. She loves chicken.

So, chicken would come down and they would be happy. And because everyone – who doesn’t love fireworks? They’re heartwarming.

**John:** No. Fireworks are not heartwarming. And I oppose their use in anything other than the Fourth of July and occasionally on January 1st.

**Craig:** So weird. You’re talking about fireworks like they’re ventriloquism or something, which as everyone knows is awful. Fireworks put a smile on children’s faces.

**John:** Because they’re special once a year.

**Ashley:** Yes.

**John:** And if we have them all the time it’s no longer once a year. It’s no longer special.

**Craig:** They should be shown every hour. I would be OK if they announced the hour change like, oh, it’s three o’clock. Fireworks. I’m down.

**John:** When I was in Scotland they actually have the gun where they fire at – I don’t know, originally it was like at noon, but they realized it was too many explosives. They were having to do it 12 times. So now they do it at one o’clock and so at one o’clock they put off the gun in Edinburgh.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Ashley:** I’ve always found fireworks like OK. I’ve never had my mind blown by a firework. But there are people who have PTSD who like it ruins they’re whole day. So it’s like I’m not going to ruin someone’s whole day just so I can go like, oh, that was cool.

**Craig:** I hear you. But I think that’s again another reason why we should have fireworks every night. Hear me out. Hear me out. If they’re every night at a set time then anybody who is noise sensitive. Because, look, we have people out there who are neuro-diverse. They can handle the noise. They don’t like it. So they just know at this time let me get some ear plugs in. Let me get some foam. Let me put something over my ears.

**John:** I put on my thunder coat. Yes.

**Craig:** So this way I don’t have to experience the sound of it but if I want to watch the light, the beautiful colors, and I can see it. But they’ll know it’s coming. There’s no random factor. So, I think again the two of you – I almost feel like the two of you work for the fireworks lobby, because you’re making such good arguments for fireworks.

**John:** Now, have either of you seen the Queen of Versailles? The documentary about the rich woman who is determined to build the biggest house in Florida.

**Craig:** Yeah, I did.

**Ashley:** No.

**John:** So put it top of your queue. It’s fantastic.

**Craig:** Jaw-dropping.

**John:** But one of the things about the house that they’re trying to build is they’re outside Orlando and they build this giant window that aims towards Disney World because they can see the fireworks every night.

**Craig:** Yes. Yes.

**John:** So they wanted to be able to catch the fireworks every night. And the whole house is oriented towards being able to watch the Disney World fireworks.

**Craig:** They’re so good.

**John:** So amazing.

**Ashley:** And those are probably some of the best fireworks in the world. And they’re fine.

**Craig:** OK. Hold on. Hold on. Now we got a fight. When was the last time you saw the Disney World fireworks?

**Ashley:** Well not Disney World, but Disneyland probably a couple years ago.

**Craig:** I’ll grant you Disneyland fireworks – they’re good is what I would call them. You’re going to say fine. You put a little stink on it. I get it. Honestly good. But the Disney World fireworks are outstanding.

**John:** Now, but we can all agree though those fireworks which are up in the sky, that’s one thing. This sort of like war zone thing that Ashley and I are getting every night, that’s not the same thing. But it has the effect on our dogs and on our general wellbeing. Just like, oh, there’s a pop. Was that a gunshot? Was that some grenade thing going off? I don’t know. But it’s happening all the time.

**Craig:** If you don’t let people set off proper amounts of fireworks every night that’s what you’re going to get. It’s boiling over. OK? You need to give people an outlet. And the outlet I’m suggesting is nightly fireworks displaced 10 to 10:30, professional level. Professional level.

**Ashley:** It feels like what you’re describing is sex. [laughs]

**Craig:** A little bit.

**John:** Craig, I have a pitch for you. So it’s like the purge, but with fireworks.

**Craig:** OK.

**John:** So on one day every year–

**Craig:** No!

**John:** We let everyone do their fireworks and we do it on the Fourth of July. How is that?

**Craig:** You’re the worst. You’re the Grinch. You just said like what if every year we have one day where a man comes down from the North Pole and puts presents in our stockings. We already have that. You’re selling me something I already have. We have the Fourth of July. I want nightly fireworks. I’m not – this is my new thing. This is what the world needs.

**John:** Yeah. It’s in his HBO contract. He gets an assistant and he gets nightly fireworks.

**Craig:** That’s right.

**Ashley:** I’m going to send my dog to tap her little feet around your apartment at three o’clock in the morning.

**Craig:** I would actually kind of love that. I love dogs so much. What kind of dog?

**Ashley:** She’s a mutt. I adopted her from Puerto Rico. She’s a street dog. And she hates fireworks.

**Craig:** Is she big? Medium? Small?

**Ashley:** She’s small and chunky.

**Craig:** Oh, I like a small chunky dog.

**Ashley:** And she has Yoda ears.

**Craig:** Oh yeah. Yeah. Send her over. I’m good. I’ll teach her to appreciate the fireworks. She’ll love them.

**John:** Ashley, thanks again.

**Craig:** Thanks Ashley.

**Ashley:** Thanks for having me.

**Craig:** So much fun.

 

Links:

* [Ashley Nicole Black](https://twitter.com/ashleyn1cole) on Twitter
* [Ashley’s Twitter Thread on Diversity Programs](https://twitter.com/ashleyn1cole/status/1272673440374243329)
* [Ashley on Drunk History](https://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/photo-gallery/44936398/video/44936689/Season-5-Episode-3-Ashley-Nicole-Black-Nichelle-Nichols) on Nichelle Nichols
* [NPR’s reading of the Emanicipation Proclamation](https://www.npr.org/2020/06/19/880754393/celebrating-juneteenth-a-reading-of-the-emancipation-proclamation)
* [The Loveland Foundation](https://thelovelandfoundation.org/)
* [Mike Birbiglia’s Working it Out](https://www.birbigs.com/working-it-out-pod)
* [The New One](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52894214-the-new-one)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Eric Pearson ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/457standard.mp3).

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/too-much-at-once).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** Hi ya’ll. My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 456 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the program we’ll be following up on a bunch of topics we’ve been discussing, include police on screen, assistant pay, short seasons, and restarting production. We’ll also be answering some listener questions assuming we have time because we’ve got a lot on the Workflowy here, Craig.

**Craig:** Let’s just mulch through this. Let’s go with expedience.

**John:** We will speed with heed. But no matter what happens in our bonus segment we will be talking about computers. I’m curious what Craig’s initial experience was with computers, what he’s using right now, and what he wishes to use in the future.

**Craig:** Yeah, sure. I love listening to a computer talk about computers. [laughs]

**John:** Ah, it’s good stuff.

**Craig:** Beep-boop-boop.

**John:** Boop-boop-boop-boop.

**Craig:** Beep-boop-boop-boop-boop.

**John:** Last week on this program we were talking mostly about police on screen, police on TV. And we covered a lot, but a thing we didn’t talk very much about was some of the shows that are doing an interesting or better job of depicting police on screen.

**Craig:** Yeah. Which is always good to call out people that are doing well.

**John:** Yeah. So I’ll link to an article by Bethonie Butler in the Washington Post where she singles out some shows that had good approaches to it. Some of them are not classically police shows. But she mentions Atlanta, Blackish, New Girl. Obviously people talk about The Wire, which wasn’t focused exclusively on police but sort of everyone around the community.

Craig, you did a whole podcast on Watchmen with Damon Lindelof. I thought that was a fascinating depiction of police and policing.

**Craig:** Yup. Very much so. I mean, it’s interesting. Every show that will touch on policing and the community and any issues regarding police brutality and specifically as it interfaces with the Black community is going to be scrutinized. And I think that’s fair. When you make – let’s call it, I think sometimes people misuse the word brave when it comes to culture. We’re not actually going in and facing down bullets or anything. We’re making shows and things. But when you are being let’s just call it creatively ambitious you’re going to open yourself up to scrutiny.

And it was interesting watching over the last couple of weeks as some people attacked Watchmen, which was curious to me because I thought they actually did quite a brilliant job. But then again that’s how things go. I mean, everybody kind of looks at things from different points of view. I thought that one of the things that was great about Watchmen, at least I thought, was that quite a number of the writers were people of color. So, you at least felt like you were getting this accurate representation of different viewpoints as opposed to just the standard Hollywood “and now white people explain everything” kind of point of view.

So, big fan of that show, and all shows, but you know, I think we should all be aware that as we tackle these issues that there’s going to be pushback all the time. And that’s healthy.

**John:** Yeah. And I also want to acknowledge that we probably aren’t talking about a lot of shows that really did try to some of these things and just never caught on. Like public defender shows or other things that were trying to take a very different approach and didn’t work because they got drowned out by police procedurals. And I’m sure there are a tremendous number of conversations happening in executive suites and writer’s rooms around town as these shows start up for another season about like can they change, will they change.

And it’s just really difficult based on how a one-hour procedural is set up to imagine what the better version of that show could be. Because as we talked about it’s a problem-solving show. And because it’s a problem-solving show you want to end the episode with a success. And you want things to happen, not not-happen. You don’t want to have interventions that mean that there is no gun fight.

**Craig:** Whereas of course in reality the problem doesn’t end. It is not solved. And all of these – anyone making a show, I think, especially if they’re in any kind of procedural format is going to also face a reasonable suspicion that they’re doing it cynically. No one wants to imagine that anyone is going to try and capitalize off of something. And yet, you know, Hollywood makes culture and it follows culture. So, it’s a tricky one.

You want to try and now make art that addresses the way we’re thinking about policing and how police function in our communities, but you don’t want to be seen as somebody that’s just doing it because it’s “the hot thing.” And I have to say I don’t have a lot of faith that that won’t happen. I think that is going to happen. And I think it will be interesting to watch people react.

**John:** In a strange way I feel like American culture in the last two weeks to a month as the discussion has focused on what do we actually really want the police to do, so this discussion of defund the police, or sort of how we’re going to change and reform how policing works is that I think Americans would like to see police actually do the kinds of things that they are sort of limited to doing on their on screen depictions. Which is to solve crimes. To stop murders. To protect people who are about to be killed by some outside force, and not do all of the other things which we sort of put on the police to be responsible for.

**Craig:** Well, you know, much like as is the case with the medical profession, what we see on television is not what the average day in a medical professional’s life is. And that’s because we wouldn’t want to watch that. It’s boring.

Reality and I would argue responsible, good, careful, thoughtful policing in a community should be boring. Meaning it’s not exciting to watch. It’s not titillating. You’re not eating popcorn. You’re not leaning forward. It’s supposed to have a different function. It’s not supposed to be dramatic. So when we make drama out of these things we are hashing it up a bit automatically. It’s an interesting – this is an interesting conversation that we are just starting to have which is how our culture interfaces with reality to make things either better or worse. Hollywood tends to over-emphasize or imagine how much impact it could have on the world in terms of good.

I think it under-emphasizes how much impact it can have in terms of bad. And I’m going to be watching this discussion carefully. This is an interesting one. And a necessary one.

**John:** Absolutely. So policing is only the first part of the criminal justice system. We got a letter in from a listener who works in the second half of the criminal justice system. Do you want to read what Lisa Steele wrote?

**Craig:** Yeah. Lisa writes, “I’m a special public defender for Massachusetts and Connecticut working in appeals. Yes, the public defender offices are busy. And, yes, most cases are resolved by plea, not trial. But if a client says “I didn’t do it” or “I want a trial” their attorney will do their damnedest to get them a fair trial. There are huge institutional roadblocks to overcome. But I’d be hard-pressed to see a public defender unhappy about taking a case to trial if there’s any hope of success. The ones with no hope, yes, we’ll try to persuade the client that trial is a bad idea.

“I’d love to see a dramatic series with an ethical public defender or a criminal defense attorney at the center. Better Call Saul is entertaining but does perpetuate the sleazy lawyer trope.”

So, what do you think about that, John?

**John:** Well, I think we have many listeners who could rise to this challenge. So it’s the question of what does the show centered around a public defender look like? And I know there have probably been shows every season developed along this line. Different pilots that have been shot. Some things that have gone to series and I have not seen them, so I apologize to listeners who said like, “I had that show.” But this does feel like a moment at which the right show, the smart show that did this could break out. And so it’s the way that Scandal broke out. The way that you have a show that this is your central character but there’s something else there so that it’s on a weekly basis. We’re not tuning in just for the public defender of it all, but for who these characters are.

**Craig:** Yeah. I have no doubt that Ms. Steele is correct about where she is working. One thing to be aware of is that our country does not have any kind of unified or therefore equitable justice code across the United States. Obviously that is true for federal statutes. But local, state-level, different laws. Different functions. Different ways of administering justice.

So for instance there’s a story in the third season of the Serial podcast about a public defender whose client is innocent. He knows she’s innocent. She knows she’s innocent. She wants to go to trial. And the DA is saying, “No.” And the DA offers a plea bargain and the public defender in one of those rare moments says, “No. She didn’t do it and we’re going to trial.” Just as Ms. Steele is describing here.

But in Cleveland, where this occurs, public defenders receive their assignments and therefore their salaries from the judges. So a case comes in, the public defender charges somebody, the judge assigns a public defender. And if you want to go to trial you’re going to have to answer to the judge who does not want to conduct a trial, because it’s too much work. So, what happens in that case? The public defender says, “I want a trial,” and one of the bailiffs comes to him and says, “The judge wants to see you.”

And the judge basically says, “What are you doing. Just, no.” [laughs] “Don’t do this.” And it’s not that you can’t, it’s more like quietly implied if you do maybe I just won’t be picking your name out of the hat anymore. And there goes your salary. There goes your livelihood.

Well, that’s insane.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That’s just a terrible system. So, we have problems. Something like that I think is just an easy one. Like we should get rid of that. But easier said than done as our entire nation is fragmented into 50 different codes. And then within those 50 codes lots of other different codes.

So, I think Lisa is right. And I also think that in other places what she’s saying is not exactly as clean as that.

**John:** Yeah. And you’ve listened to the Serial podcast which is based on True Stories, I can imagine though if this were put into a fictional context we would not necessarily believe it. Like I feel like it’s only television true story that would get me to take any action to say that that is outrageous and that has to change. If I just saw it happening in a TV show I don’t know if I would believe it in a way.

**Craig:** You need it to be based on facts, right.

**John:** Yeah. Dramatizing it is just not enough.

**Craig:** Dramatizing it is not enough. We just presume that drama is drama. And we presume that because the characters that we’re seeing are not real people. So, obviously nothing that happens to Jimmy on Better Call Saul is real because Jimmy is not real. It is a great show, though. I do love the show.

**John:** Cool. Now, Craig, I just want to remind you and remind our listeners that behind the scenes of all of this there’s still Coronavirus. There’s still a pandemic raging.

**Craig:** Oh boy is there ever. Yeah.

**John:** There is. So as we’re recoding this, middle of June, LA is reporting its highest number of cases ever. Deaths are up. And, yet, we’re opening up the town. We’re doing new stuff. So, it’s a challenging time.

So, personal news here. I got my first coronavirus test and antibody test this past week. This was the classic swab up the nose for the coronavirus and the antibody test is a finger prick. The antibody test, right there they can give you preliminary results, and then the afternoon, like a couple hours later, they give you the official results. So I did not have antibodies for coronavirus. I thought it unlikely but possible because I was in Korea for Big Fish right as the outbreak was happening. And my husband and daughter did get sick while we were there. So, that seemed possible. But all of us did not get coronavirus. So, we are like most Americans, did not get coronavirus.

**Craig:** Well, I mean, so good and bad news. You can still get it. Although, of course, people who have gotten it can also still get it. We’re not quite sure how long that immunity lasts. It appears that our country in its absolute vacuum of leadership has just said, “Meh, I guess people are just going to keep dying.” Because we are selfish. I don’t know how else to put it. We’re selfish. And we want what we want. We meaning the general public seems to just want to do what they want to do. And they’re selfish. And also they’re not thinking straight.

And people are going to die. So, the numbers are going to go back up. The numbers were going to go back up anyway in the fall. So this is already bad news. And there’s no question that the size of the protests and the lack of social distancing between protestors is going to exacerbate the problem. In no way am I saying that we shouldn’t have been protesting, but that’s just – you know what shouldn’t have happened was police murdering a guy. That would have been preferable.

So, it’s bad. And it’s going to get worse. No question.

**John:** So, when we first talked about this topic it was a bonus segment if you can remember that. Like way back in the day. That’s a bonus topic. We’ll talk about the coronavirus, this thing that could potentially happen.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** And it’s funny going back to think through what my assumptions were then. So I wanted to record some of my assumptions right now just so six months from now I can listen back and say like, oh my god, I was so incredibly wrong. So, the assumptions going into this epidemic was that handwashing was super important. We all learned to wash our hands for 20 seconds. To maintain six-feet of social distancing. To be scrupulous about wiping down surfaces. And some people were doing like mail quarantines and all this stuff. And eventually the instruction came out like, oh, we said don’t worry about masks but, yeah, now do wear a mask. Masks are good.

I would say my assumptions right now, and this is again middle of June 2020, I think we’re going to find out that masks are actually incredibly important. And that we should have done those from the start and that that is probably more important than the other things I’ve put on my list in terms of keeping this thing from spreading. I think we’re figuring out that it’s more of a thing that is spreading through the air rather than you pick it up off of things.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** But that’s my guess. That’s my guess right now.

**Craig:** I think that is – we can upgrade that from a guess to an educated guess. And I think in part we were told so much about handwashing and wiping down surfaces simply because there were no masks to give. So, I’m fairly certain that people like Dr. Fauci looked around and said, “OK, the number one thing we should do is the number one thing they’re doing in Asia already which is wear masks to prevent airborne transmission.” And then someone said to him, “We don’t have any. And the few that we do have we desperately need to conserve for medical professionals.” At which point we were told other things. Part of – and then we get frustrated. Why are we being told “yes mask, no mask, no mask, yes?” Because we screwed up.

Because we didn’t have this. We should have a national stockpile of personal protective equipment. Of course we should. We spend billions of dollars on a single jetfighter. And we don’t have masks to give people? God, we’re stupid right now.

So, I think you’re absolutely right. Now that masks are plentiful they will be crucial. If you wear a mask and other people wear a mask your chances of contracting COVID do reduce dramatically.

**John:** Yeah. And it just basically makes sense. The simplest description I’ve seen of this is the someone pissing description. So, if two people are standing next to each other and they’re naked and one of them starts urinating the other person will get sprayed by urine. If that person who is not pissing has pants on they’re less likely to get wet. But if the person who is pissing is wearing pants that urine is not going anywhere. And that’s really the simplest description of why you wear a mask. It stops it from getting out of your body so easily.

**Craig:** I would have used the example of someone – it’s like if someone were sneezing as opposed to somebody sneezing with a mask. [laughs]

**John:** Yeah, but I think pissing is more fun.

**Craig:** Listen, the fact that we started with two nude people–

**John:** Yeah, got to start with two nude people.

**Craig:** You start with two nude people and then one of them is just like, “Here we go. It’s happening.” I love it.

**John:** It’s going to happen. So, again, the backdrop for why we’re talking about this on this podcast is the entire production of film and TV has shut down because of coronavirus and now there’s – well, Craig, it’s all back.

**Craig:** [laughs]

**John:** The governor put out guidelines this past week.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** And I’ll just read you the guidelines. “Music, TV, and film production may resume in California recommended no sooner than June 12, 2020,” a couple days ago, “and subject to approval by county public health officers within jurisdictions of operations following the review of local epidemiological data, including cases per 100,000 population, rate of test positivity, and local preparedness to support a healthcare surge, vulnerable populations, contract tracing, and testing.” Wow, that was a long sentence. I can’t believe I got through it.

**Craig:** The government tends to not truncate their clauses.

**John:** No. “To reduce the risk of COVID-19 transmission, productions, cast, crew and other industry workers should abide by safety protocols agreed by labor and management which may be further enhanced by county public health officers. Back office staff and management should adhere to office workspace guidelines published by the California Department of Public Health and the California Department of Industrial Relations to reduce the risk of COVID-19 transmission.”

That just says not a whole hell of a lot. The interesting part here is you should work with safety protocols agreed to by labor and management, so let’s talk about labor and management and safety protocols and what we know.

**Craig:** Well, to start with the fact that the state government is saying you can resume film production doesn’t mean that it’s going to. And the biggest concern of course is with actors. Everyone on a set can be – people on a set can wear a hazmat suit if they want, except for the actors, who can’t even wear a facemask, or gloves, or keep any kind of social distancing. In fact, they may need to kiss each other.

This is a huge issue for them and they are going to drive this. There is a whitepaper – I’m still stuck on your peeing guys – so there’s a whitepaper from the AMPTP that was done in conjunction with every union except the Writers Guild here in town. And it’s about how to do this all safely. Of course, writers will also be required to be on set for televised work. It’s going to be driven almost entirely I think again by the actors. When the actors agree to do this it will be done. This also may start happening ad hoc. In other words the actors union is likely to say, if they haven’t already, “It’s up to the cast.” And then it’s about the cast.

Now, that’s tricky because this is people’s livelihood. This is their income. And when you start to say to people are you willing to trade your safety for your livelihood that puts them in a difficult spot. Especially when they aren’t what we think of – when we think of actors we think of George Clooney, or Meryl Streep. But in fact, you know, most working actors are making a living wage. Meaning they need the wage to live.

**John:** Yeah. When you’re number 13 on the call sheet you don’t have a lot of leverage there.

**Craig:** No. And so you may be willing to put yourself in danger. That’s difficult. And I sympathize with the position that SAG/AFTRA is in. Because on the one hand they don’t want their members to feel jammed into trading safety for employment. On the other hand if they ban it entirely they are also then curtailing the economic welfare of their own members in a way that may be just as detrimental.

This is a tough one. And I think probably one of those situations where there is not a perfect answer at all.

**John:** No. So let’s talk about the solutions that are being proposed and sort of what the general areas of discussion are. So we’ll link to the AMPTP paper. We’ll link to Lionsgate put out their guidelines. And it largely tracks with what our friends who are showrunners are discussing with their production entities about how to get back into production. So, it’s a lot of testing. It is a recognition that actors are masked until they can’t be masked and then you are keeping as few people on set as possible. You are maintaining social distance.

We’ve talked before on the podcast about French hours which is a limited timeframe. It also skips over lunch. There’s different ways to do that kind of limited timeframe. But that feels like a good idea to get rid of that break where everyone is congregating together. And also just get you off that set sooner.

Some of these things are just kind of frustratingly bullet pointy. The lines get things a little bit more of a template, a little bit more of a this is how we’re going to do it. But it’s really difficult. One of the things I found fascinating about the Lionsgate document was talking about what to do when you’re on location. And like if you’re going to a set that’s a practical location how do you know that that set itself is actually safe on a COVID level. It’s really complicated.

So the shows that can film on a soundstage that would normally be sitcoms but you just don’t bring in the audience, that feels much more controllable. It’s the things that do need to be out there in the world that are going to be challenging.

**Craig:** Yeah. And there are about six of those left? So most stuff is going to be done in a way that is challenging. And, by the way, even a sitcom set, all you need is one person to just start coughing and that’s it. And, again, all of this, no matter how much ink is spilled and no matter how many bullet points are dashed off and whitepapers are printed out, the virus doesn’t give a damn and will do what it does. And we are living with it now and like you and I said I think this is pretty safe to say this is going to get worse before it gets better. I do feel like we are in for some more trouble.

And until there is a reliable safe and effective vaccine this is kind of how it’s going to be.

**John:** Yeah. Before we close out this topic I do want to circle back to this idea of protests and sort of mass gathering. I, too, was really nervous when I saw a bunch of people together. What gave me some heartening was that when I saw these mass protests I saw a bunch of people in masks. And that made me feel better about that than a bunch of folks not wearing masks and sort of protesting against wearing masks in other parts of the country. So, including Orange County which is right next door.

**Craig:** Orange County, they are nuts.

**John:** So, it will be hard to suss out exactly to what degree protests were involved versus the general easing of restrictions. But individually I think we need to be really thoughtful about – like the description of a risk budget. How much risk is it appropriate for you to take given your circumstance and who is around you? And really figure out ways to mitigate that risk and not spend that risk budget when you don’t need to.

**Craig:** I don’t know if you saw this video. There’s an amazing video of a Karen in Orange County. I don’t know how else to say it. She’s a Karen. She gets up at some sort of city hall meeting where they were talking about imposing a requirement for masks in public spaces, which they should. And her argument against it was that god, so this is already great, god had given her the ability to remove carbon dioxide from her body by breathing out. And a mask would make her breathe the carbon dioxide back in.

And I thought it’s rare that someone could say something and every part of it is wrong. Every single part.

**John:** If she were to write it down the punctuation would be wrong. That’s just how wrong it is.

**Craig:** Everything. It’s just like, god? God? I mean…

**John:** All right, Craig, I think we deserve some good news. So let’s move onto our next bit of follow up. A few episodes back we asked our listeners, hey, if you were a previous Three Page Challenge entrant who we talked about your entry on the show we’re curious what’s up with you. So write in and give us an update. And so we had an update this week from Ashley Sanders. Let’s take a listen.

**Ashley Sanders:** Hi John. Hi Craig. I’ve just listened to Episode 449 of the podcast. I’m a few weeks behind because of lockdown. And you were asking about any follow up from people who had been on the Three Page Challenge. My TV pilot 419 was on the challenge about three years ago and you were both ludicrously nice about it.

After you discussed it on the show I got some [unintelligible] from TV companies over in the States. I’m in the UK. Sent it over and then panicked. I realized I didn’t know what I was doing and suddenly thought I might need someone to protect my interests. So it gave me the kick in the pants I needed to call an agency.

An agent read the script and [unintelligible] signed me. The most wonderful agent has been so proactive. My career has since – I couldn’t wish for a better agent. And I wouldn’t have made that phone call if it wasn’t for Scriptnotes and the Three Page Challenge. I’m now writing a couple of movies I wouldn’t be writing if I hadn’t made that call off the back of being on the challenge. 419 got optioned by a great UK indie super smart, developed it further, and ended up with an absolutely killer product.

Unfortunately we failed to find a home for it in the UK as the show is a little high concept. It’s currently joined with a US company and will hopefully get made.

So, really your challenge was responsible for giving me the shot in the arm to jumpstart my career. So, thank you. I can’t thank you guys enough. From me and everyone else out there like me please keep doing what you’re doing. It’s unbelievable.

**John:** Well hooray. Congratulations Ashely. We are looking forward to seeing this project and other projects. Listen, I am glad that your being on Scriptnotes gave you some exposure. I don’t want to claim any more credit than that. You clearly were a good writer. You were a good writer when we read you. Someone else would have discovered that you are a good writer as well.

It sounds like you’re doing the right things to keep moving forward. And even when you have setbacks in the UK figuring out a way to do that same project here is good. So, again, it sounds like this one thing you wrote is attracting some attention. But you’re also focused on what else you could write and how to get hired writing other things. That’s exactly what you should be doing.

**Craig:** Yeah. I feel like at best what we’re doing is maybe speeding along something that would have happened anyway. That’s the most credit I’m willing to give us. But we do love hearing this because, you know, we’re doing this pointlessly. [laughs] I mean, most of the time I must admit I’m just doing it pointlessly. But then again sometimes every now and again you’ll see like, oh yes, there is in fact a point that you are impacting people. And even if while we’re talking to – how many people listen to our show now?

**John:** Oh, like 50,000 a week.

**Craig:** 50,000 people a week. Even if five of those 50,000 people a week are going to end up being professional screenwriters, I’m glad that we’re talking to those five. Even more glad I hope that we’re bringing in some other people that may have not considered doing it and now are. So that’s always lovely to think.

So, I guess the point is that Ashley Sanders has proven that we guarantee success for you. [laughs]

**John:** Oh my, yes.

**Craig:** Statistics.

**John:** Yeah, statistics.

**Craig:** 100% of people that wrote us about this have gotten jobs.

**John:** Oh, good stuff. One core constituency of our listenership are assistants. Assistants in the film and television industry. And over the last year we’ve been talking a lot about assistants and particularly assistant pay in this town and how low it is. And how it needs to improve. And we made some progress on that. We actually got some major employers to raise their rates and actually start conversations about how to be paid better and really what people should be thinking about as their minimums. And then a pandemic hit. And so a lot has changed.

So, to explain a little bit about sort of how assistants work here and the different kinds of assistants, on set we talk about PAs. PAs generally have no union, but they’re often reporting to the AD which does have a union at the DGA. But in writer’s rooms and people who are just working for a writer like a showrunner we’re really talking about sort of classically two jobs. There’s the assistant who is taking notes in the room and a PA type who is running and getting the lunch order. And we talked a lot about the lunch order on the show and people not paying the PA back for lunch order orders and stuff. Those are classically two functions you would need to have happen.

One of the strange things about this pandemic is as all of the writer’s room stuff have become virtual those writer PAs who were getting the lunch order, there’s no lunch order anymore. Like that’s a whole big part of the job gone. But there’s still a lot of need for someone to be taking notes and sort of organizing things. And so that’s been a challenge. And a lot of the virtual rooms that I’m hearing from, they basically just got rid of one job entirely and now they just have the one person taking notes.

**Craig:** Yeah. Like many segments of the population assistants have been impacted significantly and very negatively by the shutdown. It does seem like when these things happen unfairly it’s the folks at the bottom of the earning pyramid who take the biggest hit.

I have heard and seen with my own two eyes honorable, decent, good people at the top of the pyramid who have gone out of their way and made personal sacrifices to ensure the health and welfare of the people at the bottom of that economic pyramid. I like seeing that. It does happen. I don’t want people to think that this is just a town where rich people mouth slogans and then give nobody a dime. That’s not what’s happening. People are being gracious. Sometimes. [laughs]

There are some people who are not. And it would be great if the multinational corporations with hundreds of billions of dollars in market value did it anyway. But they don’t.

**John:** Now, Craig, as I introduce the topic this is how long we’ve been in this state of emergency that I forgot that at the very start of the pandemic you and I helped raise like a half million dollars to pay support staff.

**Craig:** We did do that.

**John:** I completely forgot that was a thing we did. And so–

**Craig:** We did that.

**John:** Those checks went out and those people got paid a little bit more. They’ve been getting unemployment insurance in many cases which is fantastic, which is great. But now stuff is starting up again and it’s challenging for these assistants, many of whom are aspiring writers, to be employed properly. So, I had Megana reach out to her assistant boards and her contacts to sort of get some feedback about what’s actually happening. Do you want to start with this first one, anonymous, who wrote in?

**Craig:** Sure. Anonymous writes, “There’s been some chatter among assistants that even though the bulk of writer’s rooms plan on working remotely indefinitely, some are planning on meeting in person now that production is starting back. I’ve seen a few posts in which assistants are being put in a position where they must weigh the risk of going back to work, especially PAs, who will have to expose themselves while picking up lunch and groceries.

“I’ve also seen job postings looking for drivers and personal assistants. One of the posters even commented that their boss was ‘breaking away from social distancing’ as they start preproduction and are scouting locations. With studios and production companies impacted by the shutdown, they’re offering assistants even less pay while asking assistants to potentially risk their lives.”

Well, I certainly don’t like the less pay part. I mean, if you’re going to ask people to risk their lives you’ve got to at least give them what they were being paid before. Good lord.

**John:** Yeah. There’s so many elements at play here. So part of that is I think a thing that’s been happening since the pandemic began which is that we offload our individual risk onto someone else. It’s like someone else who is delivering our food to us is taking the risk for us. And that’s a whole complicated set of issues. And I think the change here is that these assistants who were staying home are now sort of being put into that role of being the person who goes out and gets the thing and brings it to a place and is absorbing some of that risk for the showrunner, for the other writers in that room.

But really you can generalize this second part of like, OK, if we are going to start getting together in person that is going to increase our risk overall. And that risk may be disproportionate for different people in that room because some people might be immunocompromised or have someone in their family who is immunocompromised. And it’s a bigger gamble for certain people than others and it’s really uncomfortable to say that in a room.

And just as we said 13th on the call sheet for actors, there’s going to naturally be kind of a hierarchy of writers in that room. And some people who would be confident speaking out if they were the co-EP wouldn’t speak out if they were the staff writer or story editor.

**Craig:** This has always been the situation, right? And we’re as an industry trying to improve things. Assistants and people who are entry level who are struggling to either get or keep these very small number of desirable jobs have always been put in these situations where they were exploited.

And there’s different kinds of exploitation. And as an industry we are trying to improve kinds of exploitation. I mean, the fact that everybody used to say the phrase “casting couch” like it was a goof and now we understand that just the words themselves are referring to a very serious crime is a sign of how we are improving, one would hope.

But then there’s stuff like this, which is new. This was not a problem. Hollywood in the ‘60s didn’t have a COVID problem where PAs were coughing and dying because idiots made them get lunch in ways that were unsafe. So, we have this new avenue of potential exploitation that we have to struggle with and we have to come to grips with. And, again, this is not going to be easily solved until there is a vaccine. It’s just not.

**John:** Now thinking through this, that assistant who is running out to get the lunch order every day, like they were assuming some risk because they were driving in LA traffic. There was some risk that was naturally there. It was lower than what we’re talking about with COVID-19, but there was some risk there. And I guess we really weren’t thinking about that risk that that assistant was taking.

I do feel like we’re getting closer to understanding what the risks are for going to a place and picking up a thing and leaving a place that is pretty secure the way that our food handling has seemed to have gotten. So, I’m concerned for that person who has to do it, but I’m more concerned about sort of the novel situations, or the situations where like well because Chris is already doing that thing and picking up the lunch order we can also send him to do this or to do that or to do this third thing and just increase his exposure and increase his risk. That’s troubling for me.

**Craig:** Yeah. And there’s a continued possibility of risk shifting, so if the PAs on a show say we’re not comfortable going to get these lunches then the show will say, great, we’ll just use Grub Hub. And so those people will now be getting lunches. Some humans will be getting the lunches. And, yeah. So it’s going to be trouble. There’s going to be trouble for a while. And I think the least that we could do, that we must do, is if we cannot solve the state of safety because the world is inherently unsafe, we have to at least compensate people fairly and decently, or we are compounding the problem. We have to. We can’t offer assistants less pay. That’s insane.

**John:** Yeah. So, Megana also added to our Workflowy a list of other questions and concerns that she was hearing from assistants as she was talking with them. So, I’ll just sort of read through these.

Is everyone getting tested prior to showing up to work?

Are people isolating outside of work?

Will assistants get hazard pay?

How will safety protocols be enforced?

How are we communicating about sick leave?

What are the daily systems in place to check how everyone is feeling on set or in the room?

Will someone be taking people’s temperatures?

If someone isn’t feeling well how should they communicate that? Are we still paying that person?

Are we requiring everyone to wear masks and gloves? What about people who are already choosing not to? How will this be enforced?

And, finally, many assistants don’t have insurance. Most of the people are not 871 script coordinators. So, are we paying them some sort of healthcare stipend because of the situation?

**Craig:** Well, in terms of that last one they already should be paying them that.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** These are great questions. And much as we were referring earlier to the United States which has this uniform federal code and then four billion different state and county and municipal regulations, so too are our businesses fragmented among various networks, studios, and then inside of those, shows, and production companies, all of which are going to probably be approaching things in their own way. There is no simple answer to this. I mean, ideally you answer these questions moving the dial as far to the right as you can on the safety-ometer. Yes, everyone should.

I mean, I’m not sure about gloves because there’s an argument that gloves actually make things worse.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** But masks – I mean, if it were me, if I were running a writer’s room, I would require masks. If we’re all sitting around the table talking at each other for hours, yes, I would require masks. Yes. I think taking temperatures in the morning, checking in with a thermometer is a great idea. Yes, if people got sick they should get sick pay. Yes, everyone working in your office should have health insurance. Those all seem like good policies to put in place.

**John:** Yeah. Also I feel like we’re in California. You can be outside. Try not to be in a room for a super long period of time with people if you can possibly do that.

**Craig:** Now everyone has skin cancer, so good job.

**John:** Tents. Tents. They’ll have tents.

**Craig:** Ah, tents, yes.

**John:** Finally, Charlie asks, “Are there any resources that can help people navigate working remotely? I think a lot of what’s happening is that writers don’t like the online boards. We all bought laptops so now one has a monitor that can see what’s actually happening in the room. So what software are rooms using and liking and can we share best tips and practices?”

This is a request out for if you’re listening to this right now and your room is working really well because of something you’ve discovered that’s working great, write in to us and let Megana know what you’re using and we’ll share this on the next episode or the episode after. Because different rooms are trying different things in terms of duplicating the experience of what would be on the whiteboard, what would be cards, how stuff is working. Some people are using Zoom. Some people are using other stuff. So next week or the week after we’ll do a segment where we talk about what writer’s rooms are using and liking because we’ve got to share this information.

**Craig:** Yup. No question.

**John:** Cool. So next up is equity and inclusion. Every year the Writers Guild publishes a report that shows who is working in town in terms of writers and the demographics of those writers who are working. And so we’ve talked about this I think every year of the podcast. The report came out this last week. It got overshadowed because of everything else happening in the world. But there was some interesting stuff in here. Craig, have you had a chance to take a look?

**Craig:** Yeah. This is what I have traditionally called the Bad News Report where we read it and go, yup, more bad news. But it’s not all bad news this time. There is clearly a positive trend going on. So, we’ll just sort of do the top line stuff here. The most encouraging statistics are along the axis of gender. So currently television writers for the 2019/2020 TV season, so reflecting what we just had, it broke down 44% women, 56% men. Is that parity? No. Women, however, are up 5%. And those numbers were not anywhere near 44% ten years ago. This is a really encouraging trend. I think we’re doing excellent work there. And I have no reason to think that that trend won’t continue. We should be able to get to gender parity in rooms.

Let’s talk about race. People of color at 35% and white at 65%. That’s also not disastrous given the actual racial demographics of the United States of America. It’s not perfect by any stretch. Good news though. Up, again, 5%.

And this is an area where I think we can actually do better than the demographics of the United States because we’ve done so much worse than the demographics of the United States. So, I think this is an area where we do need to aggressively not worry about the scale per se and matching. I think it would be nice to see that number actually also at 50%.

**John:** Absolutely. And we will link to this whole report. But if I’m talking about a page number it’s from this PDF which will be linked here. Page 11 talks about TV writers by level and that’s where you can see where there are still some glaring disparities, particularly in race in terms of as you move up the ranks from staff writer to showrunner the percentage of people of color in those different roles drops. Drops after like supervising producer. It starts to slip a lot.

Some of this is just the climbing the ladder issue. It’s a number of years and credits that sort of move you up that ladder. But as we’ve talked about on the show before sometimes the ladder in the pipeline is kind of broken. So there’s a real question of like with time would this get fixed? Or is there something more fundamental that needs to happen to make sure that writers of color can move all the way up to the top of showrunners?

**Craig:** I’m sure it’s a combination of both. So, on the one hand you would expect this that there’s going to be a lagging effect because as people enter the industry they enter at entry levels. And so over time in theory if the advancement scheme is fair then those numbers will improve. If it is not fair, those numbers will not improve. Or we’ll be lagging behind the process in the entry level stuff. So we’ve got to keep any eye on it. In general we know that the more people of color in positions of leadership the more likely it is that more people of color will then be promoted to positions of leadership.

We’ve always had a vicious cycle that’s been downwards, and now we’re hoping for sort of a positive spiral going upwards.

**John:** A virtuous cycle.

**Craig:** A virtuous cycle. Now, all of that applies to television. However, in the screenwriting business, so features AKA the Bad News Business. Not good. So, OK, plus side of things, 4% more women employed as screenwriters in 2019. 2% more people of color employed as screenwriters in 2019.

Bad part. 27% of screenwriters were women. Only 27%. And only 20% of hired screenwriters were people of color.

Now, some things to think about, aside from the fact that that’s horrendous. The job market in screenwriting, of course, continues to sort of be retract-y and regressive. And not as attractive honestly as the television business. So, one consideration is that when there is an unfair system people who are traditionally discriminated against are going to go to the avenues where they are being less discriminated against. So there is some sort of natural movement there.

It is only, therefore, more evidence that the way people are hired in the feature business is just not good. It’s just not good. And I don’t know why it has gone up slightly. I can’t get too excited about it because when you look at the numbers of employment, I mean, these percentages are a little bit of a lie. When we say 2% more people of color were hired as screenwriters in 2019 that 2% is applied against a very small number compared to the 5% increase of people of color in television, where the base is much bigger.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So, just in sheer numbers that 2% more people of color could mean four people. It’s just not great.

**John:** Now so one thing I do want to single out here, we have a perception that the feature business is falling and that few people are working in feature, but that’s actually not the case. There’s more writers employed in features this past year than the year before. There is actually an uptick because even as the studios have sort of compressed Netflix and Amazon and other people have come online. So there’s been more folks working in features than before.

But you look at sort of the work that you’re actually doing and our own experience we’ve talked about so much on this podcast is that it is structurally not very appealing to work in features. And if you are a young writer of color who is making a choice between like do I want to work on this TV show, or do I want to work on this feature given that I’m going to be doing so much free work on this feature. I’m going to be – I don’t know when I’m going to get paid for this feature.

**Craig:** It’s also certainly true that there are writers of color who want to work only in the feature business and who are struggling and one of the institutional issues you have with the screenwriting business is that it’s not room-based. It’s individual-based. And when it’s individual-based the compounding factor of experience dramatically multiplies.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** So you and I have written dozens and dozens of screenplay. We have been hired many, many times over the course of 20 years. So, when someone is looking for somebody to write a screenplay, at the very least they know that you and I have done it a whole lot. And the experience gap is enormous because there is no room. There is no entry-level position. There is no ladder. There’s nothing to climb.

They will continue – even as they increase the number of jobs available the pool of people that are experienced will dwindle. And so you have a lot of repeat business among a narrowing group of people and that will always, given the way that the businesses function, benefit white men. So, there has to essentially be an overt effort to get people experienced. And I was talking about this the other day here in the office. And it’s interesting you have to give people the right to stumble and fail. You’re not going to be able to get experienced writers of color in the feature business if you don’t give them the same right to stumble and fail that the feature business has always given white guys.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** It just needs to happen. You just need to absorb it. Because you’ll hear people, “Oh well we tried, you know, we tried hiring but then this person didn’t do a great job because they’ve never done it before.” And I’m like, mm-hmm.

**John:** Mm-hmm.

**Craig:** Do it again. Do it again.

**John:** As we’ve talked about on the show the first thing I was hired to write I got through three official drafts on it. So the movie never happened, but I got to actually get paid for multiple drafts in ways that new writers never get these days. And so one-step deals and the lack of a guaranteed second step creates this impossible situation where that writer is never going to be able to deliver the thing that makes everyone happy, that everyone has a good experience with. They’re not going to get the experience of how to do multiple drafts and how to sort of work through a feature in development.

**Craig:** That’s such a good point. And that’s exactly why we need to get this clause through negotiations and the companies need to do this. Give writers earning under a certain small multiple of scale a guaranteed second step. You need to. It’s the only way you’re going to learn. You can’t learn writing one script and then rewriting that script for some dopey producer who has no clue. You work for the studio and the need the ability to be trained through experience. It’s the only job in Hollywood where most people who do it have never actually done the other half of it. The first half is writing a script. The second half is writing a script that gets turned into a movie. And working on the movie as it’s in production.

We need to get more people who are not just white men into those slots and the only way to do it is to increase the on-the-job training. Because there’s no room to follow.

**John:** I agree. All right. So that is our quick look at the equity and inclusion report. But there’s actually a lot more in here, so do follow through the link in the show notes to see sort of what’s there and where progress has been made, but where progress is sorely lacking.

We’re going to skip over our little bit here about short seasons. I will say that short seasons are related to the problem of experience and sort of developing experience in television. A writer I follow on Twitter was saying that like by the time he was running his own show he had worked on 100 episodes of TV. And no one can work on 100 episodes of TV easily these days with so many short seasons, or get the longevity of things. So, I feel like short seasons are a related factor to sort of the challenge of equity and inclusion in the TV business.

**Craig:** Yeah. And they’re not going anywhere. And they will become the new norm because also creatively speaking I would argue that creatively short seasons are why television is producing the best work it has ever produced. But, yeah, there are costs.

**John:** So one thing I do have some hope about is that as I see people who have big deals at streamers and other places, I’m thinking of the Berlantis and the Ryan Murphys, those writers do tend to hop from show to show, same with Shonda Rhimes. Those writers do tend to hop from show to show within that little ecosphere and I feel like even if these shows have short seasons I hope that those writers are getting an ongoing experience of making a bunch of stuff because that’s really what they need.

**Craig:** Yeah. I absolutely agree. And they do have an opportunity – I mean, Greg Berlanti is kind of his own network. So, Greg and Ryan and Shonda, these folks are continuations of this like what used to be the old school, like a Stephen J. Cannell where there was like a producer who had tons of shows. And so they’re still there. They still exist. And they become their own networks. And they are uniquely positioned to advance these causes and improve the diversity of the workplace. And I think that they do. It doesn’t hurt that Greg and Ryan and Shonda are all people that are in traditionally underrepresented categories in the business.

So, it’s good to see and you have to hope that it will continue that way.

**John:** Yeah. All right. Two last little bits of news. This Saturday I’m doing a local author event at Chevalier’s which is the bookstore in my neighborhood. It was originally supposed to be a couple weeks ago but then sort of the world happened and it was not an appropriate time for a happy discussion of kids’ books and local authors. So that is happening on Zoom this Saturday at 2pm. So, join us. So, Aline will be there. Derek Haas will be there. A bunch of local authors. Some of them are kids and middle grade authors. Some are grown up authors. We’re talking about our favorite books. We’re talking about summer reading lists and things we’d recommend people read.

There’s a link in the show notes. You can see my summer reading list, but also other authors about what they are recommending.

Finally, David Koepp, was a guest on Episode 418. We talked about his book a little bit on that episode, but I hadn’t really read it yet. I finished it this last week. It’s really, really good. I started reading it and worried it was going to be a pandemic book because there’s an outbreak of a thing, but it’s actually not. It’s a thriller. If you can imagine Jurassic Park but in an underground storage unit. It was really well done. So, check that out. And check out his movie, You Should Have Left, which is based on a book that I really liked, a German book I really liked. And that was supposed to come out theatrically. Now it’s coming out on video everywhere June 18. So check out his movie. The trailer looks terrific.

**Craig:** Fantastic. Love that David Koepp.

**John:** Craig, One Cool Thing time. What do you got?

**Craig:** Oh. This one is easy this week. My One Cool Thing is The Last of Us Part 2. It is a masterpiece. Obviously I’m a big fan of The Last of Us. I think that much is clear by now. I have had a chance to play The Last of Us Part 2. I’m in my second play through now. It’s a shattering, brilliant piece of art. And in the videogame business reviews are essential. Nobody really cares about television reviews. They sort of care about movie reviews. But I made a career of movies that critics didn’t like but people did.

So you can get away with that. It’s not a necessary aspect. But in the videogame business it’s huge. And specifically Metacritic. That’s what everybody looks at. Metacritic compiles, aggregates all the videogame reviews. Calculates them on a scale of zero to 100 and gives you an aggregate number. To get really good games I think you’re talking about the high 80s. Excellent games you hit a 90. The Last of Us clocks in at 96.

**John:** That’s great.

**Craig:** And it deserves it. It is a spectacular game. And it is a thought-provoking challenge to what we understand to be the function of heroism and villainy in narrative. I can’t say enough about it. I hope to god that Neil and I do a good enough job on the TV side of things to be able to tell that part of the story. Because it’s something else. I don’t think you’re a big PlayStation guy, but–

**John:** I’ll definitely get it. So I downloaded The Last of Us Part 1.

**Craig:** Oh great.

**John:** I guess it wasn’t Part 1 because they didn’t know there was going to be a Part 2. I downloaded that this past week and I haven’t started playing it yet, but I will. So I’m looking forward to checking it out.

**Craig:** Excellent.

**John:** Cool. My One Cool Thing is an episode of Decoder Ring. It’s a podcast hosted by Willa Paskin and written by Willa Paskin. And this episode I loved so much was about the Metrosexual and sort of the branding and a discovery and creation of this concept of the metrosexual. This man who cared about fashion and taste and seemed gay in a lot of ways but was not gay in other ways. And the birth of Details Magazine.

It was just a great time capsule of this little moment that happened. And the importance of how applying a word to it defines a space. And without the word metrosexual all that stuff would have been there but it wouldn’t have coalesced the way that it happened at its moment. So a terrific podcast, but especially this episode on metrosexual I thought was great.

**Craig:** Excellent.

**John:** Cool. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao.

**Craig:** Ka-boom.

**John:** It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Joey Hillenbrand. If you have an outro you can send us a link to it at ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

We have t-shirts. And they’re great. So go to Cotton Bureau and look for them, or just there’s a link in the show notes for them.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find the transcripts.

You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you can also get all the back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record. Also, you can gift memberships to Scriptnotes. And so a lot of people have been doing that this last week for whatever reason.

**Craig:** Nice.

**John:** So if you want to give a gift for that there is a link in the show notes for giving a gift of Scriptnotes to somebody if you’d like to give them something for a birthday or some other celebration.

**Craig:** Mm. Spectacular.

**John:** Nice. Craig, thanks for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** All right, Craig, let’s talk computers. What was the first personal computer that you used?

**Craig:** Excluding like goofing around on a friend’s Atari 400 with the membrane keyboard and the tape recorder storage, my father and I went into Manhattan in I want to say 1983 and we purchased a Franklin Ace 1000.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** Which was a clone of the Apple 2. Franklin then was quickly sued. I believe the price was $1,400, which for my family was a lot. But, you know, it was just something that my dad really wanted. But I was the only one that used it. And I used it every day. I have one, by the way, in my office.

**John:** Oh that’s great.

**Craig:** Yeah. I went online years ago on eBay and was like I’m going to get myself a Franklin Ace 1000. It won’t turn on or anything. I’m just going to stick it in a corner. And I bought it for $1. Yeah.

**John:** $1,400 to $1. My first computer was an Atari 800. So no the membrane keyboard, but the one that actually had a keyboard-keyboard. And what younger listeners probably don’t understand is that those computers actually hooked up to TVs. And so you’d wire it into your TV. Rather than having a separate monitor they hooked up to the TV. And the picture wasn’t great. None of it was great.

We originally didn’t even have the tape drive to save stuff on. So basically we would type up programs from the magazine and watch them run. Or play the game and then we’d turn off the computer we would have to retype the whole program. That’s how it all worked for us. Fast forward to a couple different Ataris along the way. That’s what I did my first early writing on.

Then my first Macintosh which was in high school using it for my school newspaper. And that was just a revelation. It was the first computer that just truly adored using on a daily basis.

**Craig:** Oh yeah.

**John:** When did you get your first Mac?

**Craig:** Let’s see. I think I got my first Mac actually for college. So, I was using – I can’t quite remember what version of Apple I was using at home with like a daisy wheel printer to clackety-clack out the term papers and things. But when I went to college, so that was 1988, I got a Mac SE20.

**John:** I had the same computer.

**Craig:** Pretty standard.

**John:** And did you have a hard drive or two floppies?

**Craig:** Oh god, no, no, no. Floppies. No hard drive.

**John:** I sprang for the hard drive.

**Craig:** Actually, I take it back. That’s what the 20 was. The 20 was a hard drive. I think it was a 20 megabyte hard drive.

**John:** Yeah. That’s what it was.

**Craig:** Which would now hold one file of – it would a PDF.

**John:** It would not hold this episode of Scriptnotes.

**Craig:** Good lord, no.

**John:** No. What’s crazy is I remember I ended up buying that at a University of Colorado bookstore, or the computer shop at the bookstore, and my had come with a check for me to buy it, like a cashier’s check or something. And it was like $3,000. It was so expensive to buy it and yet it was worth every penny of it. Because just the amount of writing and stuff that I got done on that computer was remarkable.

**Craig:** Hugely necessary. Do you remember when – because when I bought it I believed I got a little bit of extra memory? They were running a deal for students. To get the memory in there they had to use a special tool to crack the case open. They had a special Mac case-cracker. Like a Slim Jim for a car. And then they would pop the whole thing off. It was quite a process to do any of that stuff. Now, of course, you can’t actually do any of that at all. When you buy a laptop it’s sealed.

**John:** Yeah. Things tend to be sealed now. So, what got me thinking about early computers is I put in an order for a new Macintosh because my iMac that I’m recording on right now is like four years old, maybe five years old. It’s pre-Paris that I had this computer. And it’s a little bit old. As we’re playing Dungeons & Dragons on this there have been times where it’s sort of spun out a bit. Like, OK, I think it’s time for this computer to move on.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So I put in an order for a new iMac and then it became clear that, oh, you know what there’s actually going to be a whole new iMac coming because they’re switching to a new processor so I canceled that order and now I’m waiting to see what the next Macintosh will be. And I’m kind of excited about it. What I find so fascinating is that the Apple hardware and Apple chips and the iPhones and iPads they really are more powerful than many of the Macintoshes we’ve become accustomed to. So I’m curious what’s going to happen once I can get this into my computer.

**Craig:** I mean, if you have an iMac that’s four years old whether you get an iMac today or whatever the next gen is that they release in a couple of months it will be – OK, this one is 1,000 times better and this one is 1,500 times better. The difference is going to be vast. I don’t have an iMac. I have a MacBook Pro. So I run everything on that. And it is pretty astonishing what it can do and how fast it can handle things. I mean, we used to have concerns about like speed and memory. When was the last time, well, I mean, you have an old iMac, so maybe you do. But I never think about speed or memory ever.

**John:** And honestly I don’t think about it that often. It was a rare case where like the Dungeons & Dragons stuff was overloading the system here. And truthfully, listen, my company makes Highland and Highland runs incredibly smoothly on my computer. There’s very little that I’m encountering with my iMac that makes me feel like, oh, this thing is too slow. It’s a dinosaur. Partly because I have an SSD in it. So, that’s making everything feel a lot faster.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Weirdly a thing I have noticed though is that the front-facing camera in it is pretty terrible. And so it’s a small thing, but well it was a small thing until the pandemic and now that I’m using this a lot for video camera stuff it’s not good.

**Craig:** I mean, most front-facing cameras suck. But, yeah, the older ones really suck. That is an area where when my son was born in 2001, you know, I was like I better go get a camera. Got to take pictures of my kid. So I went and got myself like a Casio 3 megapixel. That’s what we would do. And had a little digital card inside of it. And over time they have essentially made that camera but ten times better and the size of my thumbnail. It’s incredible. Absolutely incredibly the way that that technology has evolved. So, yeah, the four-year difference on camera will be pretty remarkable.

**John:** Yeah, I saw on Twitter this week a 1 terabyte SD card and that’s like the little mini SD card, but it’s one terabyte. The amount that we can cram into these small spaces.

**Craig:** Oh yeah. Awesome.

**John:** So, lastly, the other thing I’ve been working on a lot is the new version of Highland, internally we have a version of Highland for the iPad. And it’s been fascinating to look at making this app that I use every day and making it work on an iPad just because you really recognize how differently you work on devices based on whether it’s an iPad or like a MacBook.

And so even like I got the iPad that has the new laptop-y kind of style keyboard. It folds together. It’s really a terrific–

**Craig:** It’s cool. I like it.

**John:** It’s a really good system. I think it’s great. But it’s still not the same as a MacBook. And there’s things just do work differently and your expectations about files and not having menus, it does such a brilliant job with the cursor. It’s just remarkable how clever they figured out how to make the cursor work. And yet still figuring out where to put certain things that would normally be in menus has been a real challenge design wise.

**Craig:** Yeah. I am reliant on the finder. I like finder.

**John:** Yeah. I do, too. Because we grew up in the finder.

**Craig:** Yeah. We grew up with finder. I mean, there’s files on the iPad, but that’s really just like your cloud storage. If they could make finder that would be nice.

**John:** Yeah. That’s what we want. We want a finder.

**Craig:** Yeah man.

**John:** We solved it all. Craig, thanks.

**Craig:** Thanks John. See you next week.

**John:** Bye.

 

Links:

* [Chevalier’s Local Author Event, Saturday June 20th at 2pm](https://www.chevaliersbooks.com/local-authors-060620)
* [Police officers are often glorified on TV shows. Here’s what it looks like when they aren’t.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2020/06/10/police-officers-tv-episodes/) by Bethonie Butler
* [WGA Inclusion and Equity](https://www.wga.org/uploadedfiles/the-guild/inclusion-and-equity/WGAW_Inclusion_Report_20.pdf)
* [Shorter and Fewer Seasons, Is TV Sabotaging Itself?](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/06/is-tv-sabotaging-itself)
* [The Metrosexual episode of Decoder Ring by Willa Paskin](https://slate.com/podcasts/decoder-ring/2020/06/the-metrosexual-craze-david-beckham-queer-eye)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Joey Hillenbrand ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/456standard.mp3).

The original post for this website can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/police-on-screen).

 

**John August:** Hey, this is John. Today’s episode contains some strong language. It’s also reflecting kind of how we’re feeling at the start of June 2020, which is a little bit raw and painful and uncomfortable. So, I just wanted you to know that before you started listening. Thanks.

Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 455 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show we are going to take a look at how police and policing are portrayed onscreen and writer’s responsibilities in doing so. We’ll also answer listener questions about freaking about in meetings and whether to write books or movies.

And in our bonus segment for Premium members we’ll discuss the possibility that Craig does not exist.

**Craig:** Oh god. I hope that’s true.

**John:** That would be wonderful.

**Craig:** Oh god.

**John:** Before we get to any of that we do need to acknowledge this moment that we’re in. So, we postponed this last week’s episode a day to sort of give some space. But if you’re listening to this years later we should explain what this moment is. The last two weeks we’ve had protests over the killing of George Floyd. The issue of police violence against Black Americans is at the top of the list. We’ve had looting. We’ve had curfews. We’ve had the National Guard. We’ve had more police violence. And this is all against the backdrop of a pandemic which still has no cure. It’s been a lot.

**Craig:** Yeah. And this moment that we’re in, it’s one of those moments where we just noticed that we’re in it. That’s all that’s happened is that we’ve noticed the moment that we’ve always been in. And we means all of us, but specifically people of color in this country. I guess we hit a point where we just – everyone. Everyone. And that’s been part of the kind of nice thing that’s come out of this is that everybody is standing up and saying, “Nope, no more. No more.”

**John:** Yeah. So a lot of our listeners are in LA. So some of what we’re going to say in the next few minutes is probably like “well, obviously, I have eyes and I have ears.” But we also have a lot of international listeners who wouldn’t be familiar with what is actually happening right here in Los Angeles. And you and I might be the only people they know who live in America or live in Los Angeles. So, I thought we might give some recap of what it feels like to be here right now, just a sense of you’re in this place.

For me the last two weeks has been kind of the situation where I thought I was in one genre of movie and suddenly I find myself in another genre of movie and I can’t kind of figure out where I’m at. Like I felt I was in a pandemic movie and now I’m in a dystopian movie, or a different kind of dystopian movie. An authoritarian kind of dystopian movie. A protest-y kind of movie. And I’ve been trying to get my bearings. And I keep cycling through these feelings of confusion, of grief, anger, fear, moments of hope, despair, and then it just sort of circles back around.

And as we’re recording this it’s a cloudy afternoon. I feel less despair than maybe I did six hours ago. But you just don’t know what’s going to happen next.

**Craig:** Yeah. I just feel like this country just hit a saturation point. We have taken it on the chin from ourselves and from our terrible federal government and from local law enforcement and the scientific response – the politicized scientific response and the way that our scientists have been shackled. The entire last five months has been awful. And all of it was built on top of something that has just systemically been awful. And we just hit it. We just hit the point where we just said, nope, that’s it.

And if people are wondering why the death of George Floyd was what did it, as opposed to the death of Breonna Taylor or anybody else that was murdered by the police, I don’t know. Other than to say that there’s just sometimes it’s time. And it just hit the time.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Boom. And I’m glad. I’m glad. And I hope it keeps going. And I’ve never felt like this before. That’s part of the happy circumstance of my easy life. But I feel like it now. And I’m just – I’m angry. I’ve got to be – like I’m angry every day right now.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That’s where I’m at.

**John:** Adam Lisagor, friend and writer, made a point that the feeling that fascism is happening, it’s the awareness that to the Black community in America they sort of always were living in a fascist state. There always was a fear of things. So we’ll get into this in our discussion of policing. But the other change of feeling was that after the 2016 election we did that little special episode where we talked about like not that everything is going to be OK but this will end. And I would say that a thing I’ve felt over the last two weeks is that notion that right after the election people could tell me, “Oh, you’re overreacting. You’re being crazy.” And now someone can’t say like, “Oh, you’re being crazy.”

Because when you see video, when you see these things happening in front of you, when you hear helicopters overhead and you see military vehicles moving down the streets, OK, you’re not being crazy. You’re actually seeing not just figurative institutions like the rule of law and justice eroding, but you’re seeing the things that you know in your daily life being destroyed. Literally restaurants I would eat at don’t exist anymore. That Starbucks where I met Melissa McCarthy, oh, that’s on fire right now.

And so to see those things be literally destroyed in front of you like you’re in a Roland Emmerich movie just makes it more present. Makes it more immediate. And you can’t – it’s just harder to deny what’s actually happening in front of you.

**Craig:** The stuff that’s been haunting me is weirdly watching the police abusing old white men. And here’s why. Because I see this – there’s a video out of Utah and video out of Buffalo which is just awful to watch. And the police just push these two different elderly men backwards and they fall. And one of them starts bleeding and is in serious trouble. And you watch that and you think, OK, if that’s how they’re treating old white men then how do you think they’re treating everybody else? Going all the way down their list. And I presume at the bottom of their list of who should be treated well are young Black men. And this is how they’re treating old white men. And I’m watching this and I’m just thinking this doesn’t happen randomly.

Because the police chief and will come out each time and say, “Well, we are shocked. That is not who we are.” It is who they are. It’s who they are. That doesn’t happen just randomly over and over and over in every city. There is a culture that has permeated law enforcement. It’s evident.

I mean, I watch LAPD beating people with sticks who were just peacefully protesting. They may be obnoxious, by the way. Protestors may be obnoxious. They may say things. They may get in your face. Too bad. You’re not allowed to hit them with sticks for that. Because, see, we’re in this place now where only certain people get to have the protections of being Americans. Like, I don’t know, white supremacists who show up in government buildings with semiautomatic guns.

**John:** Protesting that we need to open up the economy because of COVID-19. Yes. All that.

**Craig:** Right. Because they want to be able to go to Wing Stop. That’s OK. But somebody walking down the street saying, “You’re murdering people that look like me for no reason,” they have to get hit with sticks. The whole thing is outrageous. The entire thing. When you look at the entire thing it sucks. Our country right now sucks.

And I’ve said this before. I’m a Yankee fan. Through and through. That’s my team. I love the Yankees. In the 1980s the Yankees sucked and I would get so angry at how bad they sucked. I would yell at the screen “you suck” because I was upset. Because I wanted them to be good. Because I loved them. I can’t not love them. And I can’t not love this country. But I am so angry right now and it sucks so bad right now. Oh, god. We suck.

As a team our country right now is the worst. And its manager is the worst ever. And a lot of the people in charge of the organization are the worst ever. And people are dying. Because we suck. Those are the stakes. We’re not losing games. We’re losing lives. We suck right now.

And I am angry. Again, I’m sure this is evident to everybody listening to this, but I’m disgusted and I’m angry and I’m proud of our kids, you know, like my daughter who gets out there and makes signs and marches. Because I do feel like their generation understands so much more and so much better than ours does. So there’s a little bit of hope. But it doesn’t matter if they get hit with sticks. Then it doesn’t matter. So the whole fucking thing has to change. All of it. It has to change. And, I mean, if we cannot figure this out fast, as in like November, I don’t know. Then, I don’t know. Maybe it’s not the team that it used to be. Maybe I’ve got to find a different team to root for. Because it is dispiriting and breaks my heart.

Did you see this video of George Floyd’s daughter? Did you see that?

**John:** I have not seen the George Floyd daughter video.

**Craig:** Fucking heartbreaking. Because she says that her daddy changed the world. And I’m like, you know, that’s not what a little girl should be saying is that her daddy changed the world because he got murdered. Anyway.

**John:** So, as I watch – I never watch live TV, but I needed to watch live TV because I live near the mayor’s house and there are helicopters over my house as protestors are marching on this house. And to watch it in real time and not knowing like, OK, this is totally a peaceful protest. Will this stay a peaceful protest? What is going to happen next? And to find myself being both an audience member and a potential actor in this situation where like I don’t know whether this thing I’m seeing on TV is going to spill over the fences and become a situation in my life.

Or to watch live TV and to see Trump do that crazy press conference and then the chaotic walk to that church. And to be watching and like, wait, am I watching a Zapruder film happening in real time? At every moment it felt so dangerous. And you could tell like, OK, this is some sort of horrible anti moon landing. You could tell that some big moment was happening in live TV.

**Craig:** Anti moon landing. That’s exactly right. It’s a moment where we can all share and vomit.

**John:** Yes. So as I’ve been watching myself watching this thing I always come back to the sense of you are a protagonist in your own life and that one of the challenges is to both observe and recognize that in the drama of your life you are the central character and you are the hero in this moment. And you’re having to make tough choices the way that heroes in these stories have to make those tough choices.

And so the choices of like, OK, do I go out and protest knowing that there is an incurable virus out there that would put me at risk. It would put my family at risk. Do I let my daughter go out to these things not knowing whether this is a thing that could end up with police and batons and tear gas? These are the tough choices that protagonists in stories have to make.

**Craig:** Yeah. And we do the best we can. Because we’re not heroes in a movie. Heroes in movies get to walk away from explosions. We don’t. Heroes in movies can be beaten in the face hundreds of times. Watch any Rocky film, he would have been literally dead after three or four of those straight punches to the face. But that doesn’t happen in movies. In movies you can get shot and you just keep going. You just wrap a thing around your arm. That’s not how it works at all.

You have to make these choices. I’m happy to say that people are being brave, which is exactly what we need. It’s funny. It’s also exactly the thing that the worst of us keep insisting the best of us are. The worst of us keep saying that everybody else is this scared, easily triggered snowflake. No. No. No, quite the opposite. These people are out there facing down batons. They are not afraid.

And, yeah, look, did I like the idea of my wife and daughter in a crowd of people on the one hand? No. So, you know, you make sure – my wife is incredibly responsible. We’re wearing masks and you be really careful and you try and keep yourself socially distanced as you can. But, then I am not going to – I’m not going to deprive, especially my daughter who is very emotional about this. And I’m not going to deprive her of this. So I have to make that choice. And I hope it works out, you know? But I have to be brave, too.

Just, I am proud of the people. I am.

**John:** Yeah. A moment I’m proud of is that I saw white Americans actively seek out information about what Black Americans are facing on a daily basis and try to understand it. And try to actually not only to listen to it but to speak up and act out in protection of Americans who did not have the same experience. That gave me some hope. And I don’t want to make it sound like it was all storm clouds and dystopia for the last two weeks because that wasn’t my experience either. It was a lot. And I think we have to just acknowledge that it’s a lot. And that in not knowing what happens next that uncertainty is also draining.

**Craig:** This is an experience that you and I, I don’t think, have ever really had. This kind of America. We were not alive for the late ‘60s where this was going on quite a bit. And I guess it’s our turn.

There was a war, I think it was after World Wars, during the Hoover administration. This may sound familiar. A stingy Republican administration was stinting on benefits for veterans of WWI. And veterans of WWI marched on the government. And there was like a little war. And the government basically shot a bunch of its own veterans. This is kind of who we are.

If we have a moment now to change it somehow for good that would be great. I don’t know if we can. But we can’t not do it. We can’t not change things profoundly. When I look at not just in ’92 everybody could point at Daryl Gates and say your traditional here in the LAPD is no good. And you could say that from time to time about individual police departments. I’m watching police departments in Portland and Minnesota and Los Angeles and New York and Buffalo and in Utah and in Kansas. And it’s all of them. We have a cultural disaster.

**John:** Well, then let’s talk about that. Because there are many other podcasts and many smarter people who can talk about systemic changes that need to happen to improve policing and police and we will link to some of those resources because I think that’s another good thing that’s come out of here is some people actually have very specific plans for this is what we want to do. But let’s talk about that cultural expectation about policing because that’s a thing you and I can speak to because I feel like so much of my experience as a white American with police has been the police that I’ve seen on screens. It has been – because I have never been arrested.

**Craig:** Same.

**John:** I can count on one hand the number of interactions I’ve had with a member of law enforcement. There’s nothing more privileged than that to have to deal with with this. Either as a suspect or someone who has been a victim of crime. I just have not had to deal with police. And so my experience of police comes from watching police on television. I think that’s a truism for many white Americans is that we think of police as those people who solve crimes on television. So let’s talk about how police are portrayed right now and think through what are some possibilities for how we change how they’re portrayed on screens so that we get to some better understanding and better approaches to policing onscreen.

**Craig:** Sure. I’ve never written any kind of police stuff, but I’ve certainly watched it. I have a friend, Ken White, who goes by the name Popehat on Twitter. He is a former federal prosecutor turned defense attorney and he has his own podcasts and he appears on news programs from time to time as I guess a pundit. And for as long as I’ve known Ken, which is, god, about 17 years, he has always been a very staunch proponent of the notion that law enforcement is over authorized and law enforcement essentially has its thumb on the scales of justice in ways most of us do not appreciate or understand.

And it’s easy to sort of, you know, in times of what we think of as peace because we are privileged to be in situations where we’re not on the frontline of this, we think, oh come on, they’re doing a good job, they’re out there. And, look, it’s just like on the shows. And I suspect that if Ken White were to create a police show it would not be like that at all.

**John:** No. When I hosted this panel on criminal justice a few months ago, which feels like a lifetime ago, we were largely talking about from arrest to incarceration. But so much of what police do is well before that. It’s the policing. It’s the being out there in the world. It is solving the crimes. And so I wanted to talk through some of what we see police do on TV and then we can talk about sort of how that doesn’t match up to reality.

So, cops on TV, they are problem solvers. The problem is a crime and they solve the crime within 60 minutes. And now obviously I’m talking about sort of the police procedural show and we’ll talk about sort of the exceptions to those shows. But like in most of especially the CBS kind of crime shows, but also the NBC crime shows, there’s a problem, the problem is introduced at the start of the episode. And then by the end of the episode there’s a solution to the problem. And the solution is putting a bad person behind bars. Or killing the bad person.

The cops on TV, they are heroes but they’re not necessarily protagonists in the sense that they don’t change. They don’t experience ups and downs and huge growth over things. They start the episode super competent and they end the episode super competent and they did the job and they solved the problem. There’s not a sense that they are undergoing a metamorphosis over the course of the show.

**Craig:** Right. They specifically can’t because they have to be back next week to solve another problem. So, there is a presumption there just built in structurally to the police procedural that the police officer is doing a good job. Now, there are some shows like The Shield where part of it is about a police officer being corrupt. But for the most part in the procedural they’re often given a glossy paint of problems. Maybe they’re an alcoholic. Maybe they are divorced. Maybe they’re cheating on their spouse. Maybe they did something in their past. It’s very common that when we meet police in movies or television they have done something wrong in the past. And they are in the midst of atoning for it while they usually violate any number of reasonable police regulations to bring the bad person to justice.

This is very common. In reality the bad things that police do are being done all the time by police. And at this point I can hear somebody saying, “Not all police.” Correct. Not all police. Just like not all men. Just like – yes, yes, yes, we know.

**John:** But we’re talking about the overall system. And also we’re specifically talking about the police that we see on TV which is what we’re talking about right now. So, to this point of like the police we see on TV they can use or ignore the system as merits and there’s no consequences for ignoring the system. So I think back to one of my favorite shows of youth was Hunter which was a cop detective show with Fred Dryer. And he’s a maverick. Hand in your badge. Here’s your badge back. You solved the case.

Basically as long they got the results it didn’t matter if they broke the rules. And that is a thing we see in these systems again and again is that they have all the resources and they have the whole team but if they need to move away from the team and they need to go on their own as a lone wolf well that’s what they should do.

**Craig:** Right. So the frustration that these shows create dramatically in us is a cop is handcuffed. I know who the bad guy is. I know how to catch this person. But you and your stupid hippie liberal regulations are preventing me from delivering justice vigilante style. So, you suck. You, the police chief, the politicians, the DA, anybody that – god help you if you’re a defense lawyer. You’re all scum. And I need to be out there doing the job that needs doing.

**John:** Yep. Now, in doing that job they are fundamentally conservative in the sense that they are protecting institutions. They are protecting the status quo. And so anything that is a disruption to the status quo is something that needs to be knocked down within the course of those 60 minutes. And so it doesn’t matter whether the disruption was a murder or a plot. Whatever happens they’re going to bring us back to normal at the end of 60 minutes because that’s what you do in an ongoing series. It’s like there has to be a big thing that happens but by the end you need to be able to recycle back to where you started the whole show.

**Craig:** Yeah. So, you fix the world. That’s what you’re doing. As a cop in a procedural you are fixing the world. Now, in the actual world as it turns out it appears that police are one of the things that are breaking the world. Now, if you are someone whose child has been smashed in the head by a police baton or shot in their own apartment because they were in their own apartment, and you watch one of these shows it must seem like it’s beaming in from another planet.

**John:** Because that’s not been your experience with the police. That’s not who police are. Like what is that? I mean, come one, police are there to protect and serve. That’s what it says and that’s what we’ve seen on TV again and again is that that’s what they should be doing, right?

And so then you see these aberrations and like well that gets back to the “oh it’s one bad apple.” And Seth Meyers this last week made the point, “Listen, if the cops were bad apples like people die, then you’d say, no, you have a bad orchard. You have an orchard problem, not an apple problem.”

**Craig:** Uh-huh. Yeah, Chris Rock has a great bit from years ago because, see, it’s not like this is news, right? Where he said, “Uh, yeah, OK, well police officer is one of those jobs where you actually can’t afford to have a bad apple. Like pilots. You can’t – American Airlines can’t say after a crash, ‘Well, you know, that pilot was one bad apple.’” [laughs] We cannot have any bad apples walking around with the ability to shoot somebody in the head, or smash them in the face with a stick, or push them on the ground and put their knee on their neck, or take their life and liberty away. We can’t.

They can’t have bad apples.

**John:** And that’s one of the ways in which I would say reality does mirror the TV perversely is that the stakes are incredibly high. The stakes of these dramas are always like, oh my god, it’s going to get away. The bad guy is going to escape. In real life it’s the worry that like the ability to inflict deadly harm on somebody at any given moment, so the stakes are profound at a moment because of how we have armed our police.

**Craig:** Yeah, no, that’s exactly right.

**John:** Now, in these shows the world is a fundamentally dangerous place. And I think this is a thing that we don’t talk enough about is sort of the Jessica Fletcher problem is that in Murder She Wrote all these people are dying in her tiny, small town. What is up with her small town?

**Craig:** She’s obviously a murderer.

**John:** She’s obviously the murderer. But if you watch crime shows you believe like, oh, it must be very common for these kind of crimes to happen. And they’re not. The kinds of crimes you see on TV are not the kinds of things that a police officer is dealing with on a daily basis. And so it gives this really warped perception of how dangerous the world is versus what you’re seeing onscreen. And statistically we can show over the last 30 years the US has gotten just so much safer in terms of like the odds that a violent crime are going to happen to you, unless it is a violent crime happening on a person of color by a member of law enforcement.

**Craig:** Well, yeah. Because those aren’t crimes. See? They’re not listed as crimes. They obviously are crimes. But probably the number of assaults, physical assaults, that police inflict upon people is incredibly significant. And you can sense this kind of thin-skinned entitlement when I watch these videos of we deserve your respect, you can’t talk back to us, you can’t sass us. No. Actually, I’m sorry, but for all these people that profess to be defenders of the constitution and who declare that the 2nd Amendment and the right to own 12 guns is necessary to protect ourselves from a tyrannical government, how do you not then see that that’s exactly what the problem is right there? There.

**John:** Mm-hmm.

**Craig:** I should be able to express my mind in front of a police officer at any point, including saying, “I don’t like what you’re doing. I detest it.” And, no, they can’t get all grouchy with me about that. Sorry. Because you’re not allowed to be a bad apple when you’re a police officer or a pilot. If I walk on a plane and I say to a pilot, “You know what? I don’t love the way you’ve been flying,” is he allowed to beat me up? I’m stuck on the plane with him. He’s stuck on the plane with me. No bad apples.

**John:** But, I mean, really we have to acknowledge though that in any place where there’s a position of authority, even like an airline pilot, your objection to the way he’s performing his job does depend on your race. And so you raising the same objection in a situation is all going to be influenced by their perception of you and your race. And so-

**Craig:** Yup.

**John:** You, Craig Mazin, could raise objections to a pilot or police officer or a city official and have a different outcome than a black person would.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** And that’s a thing which is so uncomfortable to admit. And I do feel like we’ve made some chipping away progress over the last two weeks to get more people to recognize this and how pervasive the difference is there.

**Craig:** Why is it that it’s hard to admit? What is that? I mean, I don’t feel am I responsible for racism and white privilege? No. So, why should I feel this need to deny that it exists?

**John:** Because you don’t want to admit that you’ve benefitted from it.

**Craig:** OK. But we have.

**John:** Oh, we absolutely have. I’m saying–

**Craig:** I know you know that. And I know I know that. But I’m just saying who doesn’t know this? Who is looking around and not getting it at this point? At this point.

**John:** I think we also want to believe in the American ideal that everyone can raise up through the ranks and it doesn’t matter where you started. It has no [unintelligible]. Yes.

**Craig:** It’s childish. This is what children do. When children are afraid of something they shut their eyes and they say it’s not there. It’s just denial. That’s it. Just straight up denial because to acknowledge it somehow is frightening to you. If you are invested in the notion that this is the greatest country on earth and the American dream is alive and well, and everyone here is treated equally and all the opportunities are the same, well, I’m not going to tell you to open your eyes. You already know that that’s bullshit.

You know it. In your heart. Now, it may be uncomfortable for people who are not doing well in this system to also admit that. It is hard at one time to say I’m struggling, I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough work, I can’t afford healthcare, my children are sick. And also I’m white and I benefit from a system. And I can appreciate that to an extent. But then also this is part of empathy. You have to start putting yourself in other people’s shoes. You have to.

**John:** Yeah. I mean, it’s a fundamental ability to shift this is my own experience, this is your experience, to the degree I can look at it from your perspective I can understand we have different outcomes because of where we started, because of how society is treating us. It does not help that we have a president who has just a noticeable vacuum where empathy should be. A spectacular gap there.

**Craig:** Does not know what it is.

**John:** So two other points about TV cops. There’s a well-documented CSI effect which is that prosecutors and defenders when they bring evidence into trials they’ll say that juries expect that there’s technologies there and sort of precision that just does not exist in the real world. Because they’ve seen things on CSI to make them believe like, oh, you should easily be able to do these things. Well that’s fiction. And they don’t understand what the reality is.

A general case you can make for we have this idea of competence and professionalism from what we see in TV police procedurals that is not reality. And I think for people who don’t have interactions with police outside of what they see on TV they would believe that the police function the way they see on TV and that they are competent and professional at every moment. And that’s dangerous.

**Craig:** It is. Actual police work is, well, it’s work. And most law enforcement, most police work, and then on the other side of it the prosecution and defense of people is far more bureaucratic paperwork-y than people want to admit. And also the stakes of the police drama necessarily put forth that there’s a risk that justice will not be done. That someone is going to get off the hook. This is the always the problem. If we don’t have this evidence they’re going to get off.

No one gets off. How about that? How about in this country first of all almost no one goes to trial at all.

**John:** Yeah. It’s all plead out.

**Craig:** It’s all plead out. The whole deal is we make a deal and it’s plead out and you’re going to suffer. And if you want to go to court just know that everything is stacked against you. Your temerity to demand a trial is going to stack it against you. Everyone is pissed off that there’s a trial. The judge is pissed off. The prosecutors are pissed off. The public defender is pissed off. Everyone is pissed off. They don’t want to do it. They just want to bargain you down to something that everyone can agree on. The one factor that is always true in most things is that you are Guilty with a G. And that’s how it works.

So the stakes are not that high. You will say, OK, well you know what this is what we’ve got. Well, you know, you don’t have everything. True. You know what? I’m not going to spend an hour in police show time trying to find that thing. Let me just pop two years off this recommendation. What do you think? How about instead of 15 we go to 12. And the defense guy will say, “Eh, I could do 9.” You’re like, 11? “Great.” Done. That’s how years of human beings lives are decided.

That’s not conjecture. If you listen to the third season of the Serial podcast, which is brilliant, you’ll hear it. You will literally hear the discussion. And it is chilling to listen to. That’s the reality. So they’re creating sort of false stakes on a lot of these shows. And, by the way, I don’t know how you continue on as one of these shows without changing at this point. I don’t get it. I think you have to, right? How do you continue?

**John:** I want to get that. Because I do think we’re going to have to have a reckoning with the kinds of shows we’re making and how we sort of do that. So the last point I want to make about police shows right now is – and I don’t have data to back this up, so this is just conjecture – but my perception is that the people who are arrested or prevented from doing terrible things on these shows generally aren’t people of color. And you’d say like, well that’s good, because you’re not portraying those people negatively. But I think then you also risk that you’re actually not painting an accurate picture of what is really happening here and sort of who is being affected by the system.

So if it’s always just white blond guy who is the villain here, well OK, you may be demonizing blond white guys to some degree but you’re not actually showing who is being impacted by the criminal justice system.

**Craig:** Right. And it is incredibly purposeful. I mean, when we were making the superhero parody movie, way back when, David Zucker and I watched as many superhero movies as we could. This was back in 2008. So we hadn’t quite gotten into the big Marvel cycle. But there were plenty of Spider Mans and Batmans to watch.

And the character of white mugger – I think we called him White Mugger #3, was our favorite. So the white mugger is usually a 40-year-old, clearly a stunt guy. He likes to wear that knit wool hat. You know, that ridiculous mugger hat.

**John:** Oh yeah.

**Craig:** And he’s unshaven. And he’s angry. And he’s like, “Gimme the purse.” And he’s got the gun. And we would just laugh at this because the whole point of white mugger was like, um, we’re uncomfortable showing the nature of how these things work, right? We’re uncomfortable showing the nature of poverty and we’re uncomfortable showing the nature of who the police are actually involved in. And, by the way, if superheroes were real who they would be beating up. So, we’re going to create this fantasy world and pretend that race doesn’t even exist. Isn’t that nice. There’s no race. Guys, we don’t have to address this problem because in our movie all the muggers are white.

Well, that’s bullshit. Right? It’s bullshit. Criminals are of all colors, but more importantly the interaction between people that commit crimes and the people who are there to enforce the law is completely screwed up. It’s screwed up. And here’s why. Let’s say you’re a mugger. And you come up to somebody and you threaten them and you want – you are a criminal. You are committing a crime. You do deserve to go to jail.

What we cannot do as a society is empower any individual person to beat the shit out of that guy on the spot, break bones, right, and possibly kill. Because sometimes you think someone is a mugger and they’re not. In fact, a lot of times it would appear the people that we think committed a crime are matching a description of somebody that merely vaguely looks like them. As in Black.

So even the superhero fantasy of punishing the mugger is nonsense. And so on police shows, yes, you see that stuff and it’s their way of just sidestepping the whole thing and not showing ever what is often common. A white guy with a stick hitting a black guy. That’s what’s common.

**John:** That is what’s common. So, we’re going to link to two other pieces that came out this last week. Kathryn Van Arendonk for Vulture and Sam Adams for Slate. And they talk through some of the issues of police on TV and there are of course counter examples. There’s The Shield. The Wire. Bosch. Justified. Fargo. True Detective.

A counter example from my own childhood I thought about yesterday was The Dukes of Hazzard. When you think back to The Dukes of Hazard, like Boss Hogg is the mayor. He’s the villain. The police officers are corrupt and incompetent. There’s Rosco P. Coltrane. There’s Amos who is sort of good-natured but still has to work for the police. That was sort of what my first impression of the police was, was weirdly this kind of strange southern fantasia of these good-old boys and the terrible sheriff who is trying to do them in. There’s a connection between that and Smoky and the Bandit in the sense of like, you know, literally a bandit or a Robin Hood kind of character who is up against this law enforcement.

But that was really the exception. So, let’s close out the segment by talking about what we think might–

**Craig:** Let me just point out that those heroes were always white. So, like, at the same time in the ‘70s you had like the one fantasy is white guys fighting back against corrupt police. My other favorite one was there’s a James Garner movie called Tank where he literally rides a tank, a military tank, to avoid a corrupt police officer. That’s what white people can do.

And at the same time Dirty Harry is just shooting Black people. Just shooting them because thank god he’s taking care of justice.

**John:** Yup. That’s justice.

**Craig:** Yeah. Those two paranoid fantasies right there can explain the two kinds of demonstrations in our country. It’s Dukes of Hazzard when the Ku Klux Klan dudes show up in a government building with long guns and it’s Dirty Harry when people of color are in the street protesting against innocent men and women being murdered.

**John:** Weirdly true. So you’re either Dirty Harry or you’re the Duke boys.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** That’s what it is.

**Craig:** Depending on what color you are.

**John:** So let’s think through the future of police on TV. And let’s not be naïve. It’s not going to magically change. But I do wonder where we can get to in the next five-year period. Some of these shows I feel like as they restart production you’re going to have to – weirdly even in a bigger way than the pandemic impact and how we’re going to portray people interacting with each other on screen, just acknowledging that this moment has happened feels like it’s going to be fascinating.

I think there’s a real question of like should these shows continue to exist? Can these shows be changed in a way that’s meaningful? Or is it inherently the problem of the formula of a 60-minute crime procedural doesn’t really lend itself to anything other than this kind of thing?

**Craig:** Yup. I believe the latter. I think that we know that medical shows are essentially medical fantasies. Because when you actually do have someone in your family or if you yourself are seriously ill or injured you understand that the process is not at all like an hour of medical procedure television. But we’re OK with that because we’re too busy being healed or being cured or praying for – if you pray – for your family member who is sick.

But we don’t have the luxury of – if we are being hit with a stick or being shot in our own apartment, it’s not like we have the luxury of pretending that cop shows don’t cause trouble. They do. The reductive nature of the police procedural is either going to falsely glamorize or reductively criticize the problems with law enforcement in this country.

I don’t know how to fix it.

**John:** Yeah. This is not saying that we cannot do other things that are about police, but the sense of a weekly show that is about – I mean, procedure, they’re called procedurals because there’s a procedure. There’s a process that it goes through every week. It feels unlikely that we’re going to get to a place.

And I’ve seen some well-intentioned shows that try to take different approaches to them and they were not successful either critically or commercially. Someone may crack that code, but I don’t think it’s going to be by tweaking some of the ingredients within the basic nature of a police procedural. That’s why I think it’s important to have representation of various voices inside the writer’s room. But I don’t think it’s going to be a writer’s room problem to solve these existing shows. I think you have to make different shows that can work differently.

**Craig:** Yeah. This is going to have to be thought of in a different way.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Because – and what we don’t ever do with procedurals is show the long dragon’s tail of suffering. You have a police procedural where someone gets a little too crazy and beats someone up. And all the white cops get to be virtuous and say that cop is bad. Let’s get rid of him. And then they do. But what you don’t see for every single episode following that one for years is the person who is beaten up going through some sort of physical rehabilitation and living with brain trauma.

You don’t see that. That’s gone. In fact, you don’t remember their name.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Because they don’t matter. Because the entire thing is from a perspective of the police. And at this point I’m sorry I am only concerned with the perspective of citizens who are being policed. Because we’ve had enough of the police’s perspective. And I’ve had enough of being manipulated by the police perspective when I’m – when we are told that the old man in Buffalo fell. He tripped and fell. And then we see the video. And then they go, “Oh yeah, oof, those cops. Mm.” Well I think everybody all at once said at the same time, “Now if there hadn’t been a video…”

**John:** Oh yeah. That’s been the lesson of really the last few years, but especially this recent period. There’s video. You cannot tell me this didn’t happen because I’m seeing this.

**Craig:** Because I’m seeing this. And now you entertain the horror of knowing that prior to 1990 there was no video ever of anyone.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So that is centuries of police doing whatever the hell they wanted to.

**John:** In case we’ve not said this clearly enough in this podcast, it’s not that this is a new phenomenon. We’re acknowledging that this is not new. It’s that the arrival of video has surfaced an ancient evil which a huge chunk of the population already knew about, but a huge chunk of the population could look away from because we didn’t have it there on video to see.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s just a – it’s exaggerated, it’s not that bad, I don’t have that problem. When I’m stopped by the police they’re incredibly cool to me. What’s the problem? Mm-hmm.

**John:** So, Craig, you and I did not solve the issues of police violence against–

**Craig:** Shocking.

**John:** Against Black Americans. Hopefully we had a helpful discussion for other writers thinking about what we are portraying police like on screens and the choices that decision-makers are going to be faced with as they decide what portrayals they want to put on screens.

**Craig:** And when they’re making those decisions. Don’t find yourself in a room full of white people all trying to figure out what the right thing to do is. If you are in the room with all white people trying to figure out how to make your show different, or better, or more responsibly you’ve already fucked up. You need to have people of color in the room. We need to employ writers of color for not just window dressing purposes, or to signal how wonderful we are, but for the actual stated reason behind the whole diversity thing. Which is that individual different perspectives matter and influence things in a positive way.

**John:** One addendum I want to put on that is the notion that it cannot fall on the responsibility of the one or two or four Black writers in the room to have to speak up and stand in the way of horrible choices and inconsiderate things being described. Like, they cannot take that burden all on themselves. And we cannot ask them to do only that. That’s why one of the things I’ve been somewhat hopeful about the last two weeks is I feel like people have actually been reading up and trying to understand a bit themselves what that is so it doesn’t fall entirely on the Black people in the room to explain why something is wrong.

**Craig:** Yeah. And that’s a particular problem when a staff has one person of color. And then everybody sort of turns to that person and says, “Well you’re here really as an ambassador from person of color stand. And so tell us what it’s like on your planet.” That’s not correct.

**John:** Particularly if that one Black person in the room is the lowest level staff writer, or is the PA. I mean, to ask that person to step up and do all that work when they don’t have any authority is crazy. So, we have to just acknowledge relative power in that room as well.

**Craig:** 100%. And most of these potential disasters can be averted if you simply look at it from their point of view, as best you can. And ask how would this seem to me if I were in their shoes? And do that as much as you can, all the time, with all the people that work with and for you. Just try.

**John:** Which shouldn’t be that hard considering we are writers and our whole job is to be able to understand–

**Craig:** Thank you.

**John:** What things look like from other people’s perspective.

**Craig:** But you know, and now I’m going to be critical of writers for a moment, that – for as long as I’ve been doing this I have been shocked over and over, which is surprising, because really I should stop being shocked, that writers whose job is to empathize and imagine themselves in other people’s shoes, writers who are supposed to be enlightened oftentimes are blinded by their own thin-skinned insecurity and ego. It blows my mind how frequently the blinders go on because they have their own set of shame issues and neediness and fragility.

**John:** I absolutely have those myself. I see them and I recognize them and I despise them when I see them in myself. But they are there. Another thing I see in myself that I see in other writers, too, is laziness. Is that it is a lot of work to have to be doing that and to be thinking that way. And it’s just easier not to do it. And so laziness is another contributing factor there.

**Craig:** Well let us affirm ourselves to working harder and let us affirm ourselves to doing what we need to do to kind of improve ourselves whether it is through therapy for our own issues, or just listening better. And see if we can’t make things better for human beings at least in our small circle. Because we can’t fix the world. We can’t. But if we fix little pockets. If we make little pockets better over and over and over, just like that, things get better.

**John:** We’ll hope. Let’s try to make the world better in two small ways with these two questions we’re going to answer.

**Craig:** Segue Man.

**John:** Jason asks, “Have either of you ever lost control of your emotions in a meeting or on a call—“

**Craig:** No!

**John:** “With professional collaborators and needed to apologize or restore the climate back to a safe place to collaborate again? If so would you mind sharing how you did this? Is this common in creative collaborations? And how to best handle it when people find themselves in a situation where emotions get the best of them.”

Oh yes I have. Oh yes I have. I’ve lost it.

**Craig:** Oh. Oh? Go on.

**John:** In one case I was brought in for notes and I thought it was going to be one notes meeting and it ended up being just like a pile-on on me. And I was like I cannot handle this. This is not at all. No. This is not it. And I left.

And was it the right choice to leave? Probably, because I would have said even worse things had I stayed. And then in the follow up phone calls I could explain like this is what my expectation was. This is what the actual thing was. This is not cool. And I think I ended up basically getting out of that project.

In other cases, I described this on the Charlie’s Angels movies. There’s a thing we describe as like fighting the monster in that on any given day someone was going to be the monster and everyone had to sort of come together to fight the monster. And some days I was the monster. And it was the recognition that it was a tense situation and we were going to do it. And there would be some yelling. And afterwards we would talk it through and be fine because it kind of had to be fine because somebody else was the monster at that point.

So, I feel like anger and frustration in the pursuit of creative goals isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s when you stop treating people with respect that you have to really ask why are you letting your emotions get to that place.

**Craig:** Yeah. I have gotten emotional. I tend to not vent it outward, but to keep in inward. Although there was a moment, it was during Chernobyl. It was during post-production of Chernobyl. And it doesn’t matter what the specific thing was. I experienced the work of something and it upset me. It upset me. Because it was not at all what I wanted and I could feel myself being flooded with waves of negative emotions. And so I stood up. I said, “I’m going to get some air.” And then I walked like three miles. And I was aware that even that in its own way is kind of hostile to just stand up and walk out and then disappear and not answer your phone. But it was kind of what I needed to do to avoid something I didn’t want to do.

I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I didn’t want to make people feel bad. And I also understood what ever little part of rationality was left that wasn’t going to solve the problem. So the problem was going to be solved by kind of careful explanation of where what I wanted had not occurred and where I what I didn’t want had occurred. And by the time I was done walking and came back I had calmed down sufficiently to be rational. And to kind of help relay what I wanted.

It happens. But I try as best as I can to not – I’m not a big yeller. You know. I have been in situations where, I mean, the Weinsteins made me absolutely crazy. Crazy. I mean truly nuts. It’s quite likely that in the past I – especially when I was younger I probably did raise my voice. It just doesn’t get you where you want to go. But it’s been a long time for me. It’s mostly for me when that happens I do – my mode is to walk away, calmly. Walk away and then return when I’m OK.

This is an emotional job. And one of the reasons why is something that you and I have gotten into with our how to give notes thing. The thing we made we identify with. It is entwined with us. And so when someone is doing something that we perceive as injurious to it it’s like they are being injurious to us.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** So it is always – I was on a notes call for something a few weeks ago and I said you know what just, sorry, holding up my hand. We’ve been at it for a while. I think I’m at the moment where I’m not quite absorbing things efficiently anymore. Why don’t we take a break? And we’ll pick this up again tomorrow or a day later. And everybody was like, OK, yeah. Great. Because I didn’t say it after five minutes. And if you can do that that’s always preferable.

**John:** Agreed. All right, Randy asks, “As someone who is interested in becoming both a novelist and a screenwriter which craft should I pursue first? And how do I effectively manage my time to learn both of them?”

So, I’ve written books and I’ve written movies. I’ve written many more movies than I’ve written books. Craig, you’ve done some prose writing as well. If I were to give advice to Randy about which thing to pursue first, I would always come back to kind of what do you want to exist in the world. What is the thing you wish you could see your name on most? Is it a movie? Is it a book? If it is a movie then you should be writing a screenplay. If it is a book you should definitely be writing a book. There are more books printed every year than there are movies made. So your odds of getting that creative work out there in the world to some degree are much higher with a book, because you can always self-publish in ways you can’t self-make a movie.

But it really comes down to sort of what you wish had your name on it in the world most to me.

**Craig:** Yeah. I’m not sure how to answer this. I feel like as writers or an artist of any kind the work that you’re going to attempt to want to do is the work where you feel love back. There’s a relationship between the artist and the audience. If people say, “Look, I love reading your prose, I just don’t care as much about the screenplay stuff,” then maybe follow that. And if people are excited when they read your screenplays but the novels feel a bit jejune then maybe stick with the screenplays.

What is the world telling you that they want? And maybe then, you know, that’ll kind of help you figure out what to do.

**John:** Yeah. There are definitely a class of screenwriters who would never, ever write a novel. And who fundamentally see themselves as people who can see movies well and they’ll put up with the having to write it part of it so that they can make that movie happen. That’s kind of valid. Novels are all you’ve got is the words and you’ve got to be able to hold someone’s attention over hundreds of pages with just those words. And it’s a lot longer of a slog than screenplays tend to be. But nothing is stopping you from doing both.

I will say that the sunk cost of a novel is a lot. And so definitely be – if you’re new to writing prose start on some smaller things rather than tackling a whole novel at once and just see how the form fits your brain and your fingers. Because it doesn’t fit everyone.

**Craig:** Yup. That’s absolutely true. But sort of an unanswerable question. Feel your way and see how it goes.

**John:** All right. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing feels like it should be a Craig One Cool Thing. It is a game. It’s on Steam. It’s also on Switch. It’s called Baba is You.

**Craig:** Huh?

**John:** So Baba is You is one of those kind of puzzle games where you’re pushing blocks around in order to achieve the goal of the game which is generally to hit the flag at the end of it. And what is so ingenious about Baba is You is that the rules for that level of the game are also blocks. And so you can move the blocks around in order to change the rules of the game. So no longer do you need to hit the flag to win. You can change it so you now need to hit the rock. Or you can become the rock. Or you can become the walls. It’s very clever in how it does it.

It’s also really tough. I’ve been embarrassed how often I’ve needed to look up solutions to certain puzzles. But I really did enjoy it quite a lot.

**Craig:** OK.

**John:** For you, Craig, or anybody else who is looking for a puzzle kind of game, Baba is You would be my recommendation.

**Craig:** That sounds great. I do love a game as you know. My One Cool Thing is, and this is merely one of many options that people have. If you’re trying to support change in our country, especially in regard to law enforcement and policing, and you’re not quite sure where to go there’s a billion people who – there’s not a billion people. There are a number of nonprofit organizations that are working to fix things. The one that I was really impressed by the work they’ve done and so I did make a donation myself is called Campaign Zero.

And Campaign Zero is interesting because their entire focus is on reforming the way the police function and interact with communities. And they have 10 kind of points that they’re working on. All of which seem, well, very reasonable.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And very needed.

**John:** It’s hard to say like, oh, that’s a radical idea. No, that’s not a radical idea.

**Craig:** Yeah. Pretty much all of them.

**John:** And it looks like their activism is really about convincing local governments to insist upon these changes. And so there’s national stuff that can be done, but it’s also pushing on local levels will affect people’s experience on the ground.

**Craig:** Yeah. And one thing that strikes me about the campaign that they’re running, and real fast I’ll rattle off their 10 areas of focus. End broken windows. Policing. Community oversight. Limit the use of force. Independently investigate and prosecute when there is police malfeasance. Community representation. Body cams filming the police. Training. End for-profit policing. Demilitarization. And fair police union contracts.

So, if I were a police officer who believed in the rule of law and fair policing and the equal treatment of all Americans regardless of race, color, creed, I would want all of these things. I would be in favor of all of these things. And I know that there are police like that. I know that. I think it’s important to say that there are good apples as we say. It’s just that again, like pilots, can’t afford any bad ones.

So, if I were a good apple and a good police officer of which there are a number I would be desperate for all 10 of these things. And I would be desperate for a different kind of relationship with the community I police. And I hope that this is something that carries through. And this isn’t nonsense liberal fantasy. And weirdly the people who decry government tyranny and the tree of liberty must be watered with blood and don’t tread on me, they should be in favor of this, too.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** You’d think that they’d be able to make that connection there. So hopefully people find some way. And if you don’t have the means, and this is a brutally difficult economic environment, so if you don’t have the means it’s totally understandable. And maybe there’s a way to volunteer a little bit of time if you have. But if you do have the means I think this is at least one reasonable way to donate. But, of course, feel free to research. There are a number of others.

**John:** Cool. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli.

**Craig:** Indeed.

**John:** Our outro this week is by Jason Azziz. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

We have t-shirts. They are great. They’re on Cotton Bureau.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find the transcripts. You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments, including the one we’re about to record really where we’re looking at whether Craig actually exists or is just a figment in all of our imagination.

**Craig:** Oh god. Rooting for figment.

**John:** Thanks Craig.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** Craig, so this occurred to me that the last time I saw you in person, that we saw each other in person, was February 28, 2020.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** It was at a fundraiser for Mark Kelly who is running for senator in Arizona. And you and I were in a room. We shook hands. There were other screenwriter friends there as well. And at that moment it was like – maybe we didn’t shake hands – it was at the moment where like, wait, are we supposed to be in a room together? Are we supposed to shake hands? What’s going on? Is this safe? It was very early in the pandemic.

And then I have not seen you since.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And I started to wonder, I’ve seen you on video, but we have the ability to sort of fake video. Right now you and I are talking on Skype. You could be an elaborate computer simulation. Naturally you’d assume that I am the computer simulation, but you could be the computer simulation. Like someone could take all of the transcripts of Scriptnotes like I’ve done and put them into a computer system and generate with Markov chains things that sound like Craig Mazin there. So how do I know that you really still exist?

**Craig:** Right. We don’t. Neither of us exist. So, neither of us are real. This is a simulation. But, you know, inside of the simulation it feels real. And reality is only subjectively defined because it’s experience. We experience reality. So it’s from our point of view. This is why empathy is so interesting. You are attempting to experience somebody else’s simulation.

So, the important thing to make clear is I’m not real and also I wasn’t real that night either.

**John:** Mm.

**Craig:** When you saw me there–

**John:** Pass the joint back. Now has your unreality changed though in this situation? Because it feels like, you know, when I see a person in front of me in a physical space they feel more real, and yet all of my interactions these days are basically on these Zoom rooms.

I was struck by a friend was talking about this writer’s room that she’s in. it’s been entirely a virtual room. And six weeks into this room one of the writers stood up and said, “Oh, I have to stretch. I’m really, really tall.” And everyone in the room was like, wait, you’re tall? That’s a thing, it was weird for them that this person that they’ve known virtually for six weeks. Wait, you’re like freakishly tall? It was a thing that would have been the first thing they noticed about them in real life, but not because of this virtual situation.

**Craig:** Well, what I would say to you is you are overestimating the value of your own eyeballs. If you are in a room and you look in a mirror and you see me in the mirror I’m right behind you. You see yourself and me in the mirror. That seems pretty real. But that is no different than seeing me on a Zoom. Your eyeballs are just seeing light that is being passed along. So instead of light going right into your tiny little organic cameras it’s just taking a little detour and then getting into your organic cameras.

And so I’m not arguing that Zooms are just as real as real life. I’m arguing that real life is just as not real as Zooms.

**John:** Yeah. So, where this goes to is the idea of sort of where we’re headed in the next few years where there’s going to be an increasing number of people who we interact with who we will never meet. And so traditionally if I was hired to write a film I would at some point sit down with the producers and with the head of the studio and we’d have this thing. Basically just a reality check that everyone exists and we’re actually going to do this thing. There would be some face-to-face meeting. And those are going to be less common. I think even after there’s a vaccine and things get back to a little bit more normal I feel like people are going to become more comfortable hiring people they’ve never met to do things.

I’ve hired somebody for my company who I’ve never met in person who is now working for us every day. So, that’s a strange thing I think this pandemic has brought us to.

**Craig:** Well, let’s say that, I think it’s reasonable to expect that we will have technology soon enough – we kind of do – where instead of just vanilla Zoom we can create a situation where the room that we normally, like a shared room, a conference room is scanned in perfectly down to the tiniest pixel, retina level.

**John:** A holodeck-ish kind of thing.

**Craig:** Yeah. So we can look around in 360. We have our little headsets on. Our oculi. And we can look around the room. And then eventually our avatars are res’d up to the point where they are essentially as detailed as our actual selves. At that point what’s the difference? I mean, at that point haven’t we created a simulation of reality that we’re in?

**John:** But thinking back to even the episode of Mythic Quest that you were in where you’re talking with the other quality assurance testers and there’s the passing of chips back and forth. There are physical things in the real world that we are all sharing the same physical reality that is different.

I mean, this episode we were talking about the importance of going out and protesting and marching. Nothing is more real and physical and sort of being in your body than going out and protesting. And protesting feels like a thing that is important to do with your body versus online.

**Craig:** But would it blow your mind if someone said to you you have actually already – it’s just that you’ve been living your entire life in a very elaborate, really res’d up Zoom.

**John:** A brain in a jar.

**Craig:** Yeah. And that’s the Matrix. And the truth is I do believe the people who say it’s incredibly unlikely that we’re not. It doesn’t make any of this less real. That’s sort of the point. I mean, pain is pain. Joy is joy. You touch something, you’re not really – when you touch something or when you taste something you’re not–

**John:** It’s fields of stuff interacting, yes.

**Craig:** It’s your brain telling you that you’ve touched something. It’s your brain telling you that you felt something or you tasted something. None of it is real. It’s not real, but it matters.

**John:** So that sense of it’s not real but it matters does get us back to the notion of empathy and the sense of even in the unknowability of things one’s choices have consequences. This is not nihilism. This is not the denial of an outside reality, at least in a moral sense.

**Craig:** Right. What we’re saying that what we think of “real” is a vastly overestimated concept because experiences are real whether or not the thing is real. I mean, you and I literally for a living create fake experiences that have real emotional impact. So the experience of watching a movie or a show or a musical creates real feelings.

If we can’t see the value of that then, you know. So, that’s why I’m all in favor of it. You know, to conclude, I do not exist.

**John:** Never has.

**Craig:** But I am important and I matter.

**John:** Aw. That’s nice to think. Thanks Craig.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

Links:

* [Black Lives Matter](https://blacklivesmatter.com/)
* [Campaign Zero](https://www.joincampaignzero.org/#vision)
* [Baba is You](https://hempuli.com/baba/)
* [Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!](https://cottonbureau.com/people/scriptnotes-podcast)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Jason Azziz ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/scriptnotes/455standard.mp3).