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Scriptnotes, Ep 446: Back to Basics, Transcript

April 21, 2020 News, Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](https://johnaugust.com/2020/back-to-basics).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this Episode 446 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show we go back to fundamentals to discuss what screenwriting actually is and what both new and experienced writers need to keep in mind as they start their work. Then we’ll answer a bunch of listener questions on how the pandemic will effect writers’ creative and career decisions.

**Craig:** Hmm.

**John:** Craig, we are back to basics. It’s just you and me talking on Skype. We’ve got no Zoom. I don’t see you, I’m just hearing you. It feels familiar.

**Craig:** Yeah. You and I have always been quarantined essentially. We have socially distanced from each other our whole lives. And we continue to be socially distant and yet in each other’s lives. We’ve moved our Dungeons & Dragons campaign online.

**John:** It was hugely successful. Craig, thank you for your hard work getting that set up.

**Craig:** My pleasure. You know, tip of the hat to Roll20. That’s what we’re using. It’s a very powerful platform. It’s not at all welcoming to new people. Like if you are not a programmer, I guess. But once you dig in and you kind of go through it and as the case was – I talked to a friend of mine named Thor – Thor, from Norway – who walked me through some of the fundamentals that you would have never known otherwise. I mean, I went through the tutorial and the “goggles do nothing.” [laughs]

And so I had to do a little bit. But once you get into it it is incredibly powerful and delivers an excellent experience I think. It seemed like our first session was a hit.

**John:** It was a hit. So, Craig maybe a few weeks into this as you become a master at doing this I might ask you to do a screen recording just to walk people through the basics because it really was hard for me to figure out what was going on and bless you for all the hard work you did. But I just feel like you can pay it forward by maybe doing a screen recording, talking through what people need to know about having it set up.

**Craig:** That’s a great idea. I can definitely Roll20 for Dummies because it is not easy. And happy to relay what I have learned. Because there’s a lot.

**John:** There’s a lot. All right, this is the first of two episodes this week. So in addition to the episode you’re listening to right now later in the week we’ll be having the audio from a live show that we’re doing which will have already happened by the time you’re listening to this. We’re doing another one of our live shows where we are on Zoom. We’re streaming it through to YouTube folks. This will be a live Three Page Challenge. I hope it goes well. I think it will go well. Dana Fox is scheduled to be our guest for that.

So our episode with Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Ryan Reynolds was really fun and a good conversation. So I think we’re going to keep trying to do some of that, at least during this weird pandemic-y time when people are stuck at home and looking for reasons to see hopeful and joyful. So we’ll keep trying to do some of these to mix it up a bit.

**Craig:** Well, when you want hopeful and joyful you turn to Dana Fox who is a ray of sunshine.

**John:** She is. She’s terrific. So, listen for that later on this week. Or if you’ve already watched it by this point it will come up in your normal Scriptnotes feed down the road.

A lot of people have written in asking about our setup and sort of how we do things. So I thought we might spend a minute or two talking about how we record normal episodes versus how we are recording these special episodes. So this is a normal episode for you and me. You and I are talking live over Skype, but we are also recording our audio independently on our own computers. And that’s a really useful thing for people to try to know if they’re trying to do this kind of stuff because that way when Matthew gets the audio he gets clean audio of me and clean audio of you.

So the track I’m sending to Matthew only has me talking. The track you send only has you talking. Matthew is able to join them up and cut between them seamlessly so if he wants to cut out all the times I stumble over my words it’s very smooth and easy to do. Or all the obscenity-laced tirades that Craig gets on. It’s very simple.

**Craig:** It’s an equal amount of those things. It is interesting. I’ve done a few other podcasts, like as a guest, and they are so grateful to hear that I can record my side of the audio properly. Because they’re just used to people essentially phoning in on whatever they have. So it’s a nice thing that we can do it this way. And microphones, I mean, there are nice ones that cost a little bit more, but there are some pretty affordable ones that would vastly improve the quality of any recording that you do into your computer.

**John:** Absolutely. So we’ll put in the show notes a link to the little USB mic that Craig and I use for when we’re traveling or if we need to send it to a guest who is going to be joining us for an extended period of time. It’s great. It’s useful. And it does make a difference for a podcast. When people are just talking on Zoom you sort of forgive it because everyone is sort of used to how audio sounds when there’s video associated with it, but for a podcast it really does sound better if you can find any kind of proper microphone to record into.

**Craig:** No question.

**John:** Now, for the live shows where Craig and I are on Zoom talking and we have guests coming in, we’re using the Zoom webinar feature, which is about $40 a month. We’re doing that because it’s a little bit more secure. It allows me to invite panelists who are all the people whose faces you see. And those panelists get special invitations so it doesn’t get out in the world. It’s not going to be guest-able. We’re not going to get Zoom-bombed.

And the webinar feature also has a useful thing where you can click a button to stream onto YouTube. And so I’m doing that and it’s going to my YouTube channel. It’s pretty good. It’s not perfect. I wish I knew how to create a blank livestream before I actually start pumping to it. And I don’t quite know how to do that. I’m not sure it really is possible. So, we had some hiccups this last time doing it, but it works pretty well. And so given where we’re at in 2020 I’m happy that we’re able to stream it out to the folks on YouTube live.

**Craig:** Could you not create a second YouTube account that is just for testing?

**John:** We absolutely could. What I really would ideally love to see – so it’s not even about the testing. It’s that tomorrow’s show at 10am, we are all getting online at 9:55. We will quickly make sure that we’re setup and proper and correct. But I don’t want to start that livestream until we’re ready because the minute I do it we’re all there in front of the cameras working live. What I’d love to be able to do is create a dummy thing that was there that was ready so the minute we start piping to it. Instead I have to send people to my general John August page and say like at 10am it will suddenly show up.

**Craig:** Got it.

**John:** That’s the issue.

**Craig:** I see.

**John:** I’d love for there to be a waiting room where people could hang out.

**Craig:** Sure. No, that makes total sense. I get it.

**John:** For now this is great and I’m delighted with what we’ve been able to do so far.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, we get to air television shows from our home. I mean, 1979 John August is surely listening to 2020 John August going, “Dude?”

**John:** “What are you complaining about?”

**Craig:** You can air a television show to the world.

**John:** Indeed. All right. Some follow up. On previous episodes we talked about Support our Support Staffs which is a fundraiser, a GoFundMe we did to help raise money for Hollywood support staff. This was with the Pay Up Hollywood folks. Craig and I were sort of initial seed donors to this. We ended up roping in a bunch of people and raising about half a million dollars to pay out money to support staff who have been laid off as the pandemic has swept across the industry.

That was successful. Some news this last week is that we got a bunch of the checks out but more people kept coming. More applicants kept coming in and it became clear that, wow, somebody other than us is going to be much better at actually processing the checks and sending them out. So, we announced that we’re moving all of that infrastructure over to the Actor’s Fund which is a longstanding Hollywood charitable foundation that sends out money to people in need, not just actors but everyone else in the industry.

So, we partnered up with them so they will be handling the back end administration on all this stuff going forward.

**Craig:** That’s got to be a relief. I mean, I’ve been on the board of two charities and it’s like any other business. It’s a lot. There’s a lot to do. Just a side thing about charities and the money that is required to run charities. There’s a whole interesting discussion – good bonus topic maybe for us one day – the economics of running a charity. And why our obsession with bottom line is probably hurting charities.

**John:** I think that’s a great topic. In fact, let’s have that be our bonus topic for our Scriptnotes Premium members at the end of this episode.

**Craig:** Fantastic.

**John:** Another bit of follow up. So, back when I was on the WGA board I was one of the people heading up this No Work Left Behind campaign which is where we are trying to convince our members but also the town to recognize how important it was to not leave documents behind after a pitch. Basically why you should not do that free writing in order to get the job or to leave that written up version of your pitch after you’ve had that meeting, why it was a really bad idea to be doing that.

So we had messaging, we had videos, we had a bunch of stuff. In this time where those meetings are not happening face to face weirdly what I’ve found is that there’s been a lot more pressure to write up stuff and send it in because like, well, you kind of weren’t in the room so it’s easier than getting on a Zoom.

So this last week I helped out with an article that we sent out to all the WGA members reminding people like, hey, just because we’re in strange times here doesn’t mean that the fundamental ideas of not leaving writing behind have changed. That it’s actually in some ways even more important not to be doing that free work and sending it out there in the world.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So, I point people to this article. But I just wanted to talk through sort of what you’ve found, Craig, in this time of Zoom meetings.

**Craig:** Well I haven’t had to have too many Zoom meetings because mostly I’ve been kind of covered in terms of what the work was initiated before all the shutdown began. I did have one sort of large conference call, but that wasn’t a Zoom thing. It was just audio, like the good old days.

I am concerned a little bit – look, I’ve always had issues with managers. That’s kind of been a little bit of a hobby horse of mine as any manager can tell you. And I’m a little concerned that they might be a bit loosey-goosey about this because they also act as producers. And things can get really mushy there when your representative is producing. This is literally the problem that we had with the agencies is that they were engaging in production or working with companies in a way that kind of made them aligned with the company financially through packaging.

Well, managers have always done this. And I do get concerned that when a manager is in a producing position, or even if a manager is not in a producing position but has produced anything else with a company that your own representation is going to put pressure on you as well. This is a very difficult thing. We have now, you and I, 20, 25 years of experience of the Writers Guild attempting to try and fix problems like this. And in the end we always run into the same essential problem which is that it comes down to individuals in individual moments, when they feel powerless and afraid, and I can only imagine that people feel even less powerful and even more fearful now.

All we can say to you is to be prudent about this and have faith in the value of your own work because if you give it to them for free you are devaluing yourself in that moment strategically and your work in that moment strategically. They are going to bluff you like good poker players and your job is to recognize that you have the hand that is best. Play it that way.

**John:** I am going to attempt a metaphor that may completely fall apart as I articulate it, but I’m going to try it right now.

**Craig:** Love it.

**John:** So I would say No Writing Left Behind is in some ways the face mask of the screenwriter profession. So here’s what I mean by no writing left behind. The face mask offers some protection to you, but also protects everyone else around you. The ways that No Writing Left Behind protects you is that the minute you’ve given them a document you don’t know what’s going to happen with that document. You don’t know if they’re going to use that and send it up the chain. If they’re going to incorporate some of those ideas into other stuff. If they’re going to drill down into that document and try to pull meaning out of it that really was not your intention.

So, the minute you’ve given them a document to focus on that becomes the thing rather than the possibility of working with you. So that is a way that you’re protecting yourself. But I think it’s also protecting everyone else around you. If you are turning in that free work, if you’re giving them that stuff for free it’s making it harder and harder for the next writer and the next writer to protect themselves from having to do that. Because it’s become a norm to turn in that stuff.

Even though as we’ve discussed before on the show it is actually really dangerous for companies to be taking that unpaid material into their possession because that is a huge copyright violation potentially happening there. So, for everyone’s protection just don’t be handing in those written documents before you have a signed contract.

**Craig:** For everyone’s protection. It’s absolutely right.

**John:** So, that metaphor kind of worked.

**Craig:** I’m with it. I’m with it.

**John:** So I’ve had a lot of new work that’s come up during this time of Zoom meetings. And where I’m pitching on Zoom a lot, there’s probably a project I’m going to be going out with that’s pitching on Zoom. And I found myself thinking like, oh, I should just write this up and send this in. And stopping myself and realizing, oh, you know what, that is actually a really bad idea for all the reasons I just articulated. But also in some ways because these virtual meetings are so easy to set and establish it’s very easy for me to send emails saying like, “Hey, let’s get online again and let me talk you through this point. Or if you need me to pitch to that other group let’s get on Zoom.” Everyone is available. Everyone – I can talk to everyone.

So it’s not about sort of like this executive is flying in from Montreal, how are we going to talk with him? Things that used to be physical meetings or hard to organize are now actually really simple. So it becomes very easy to just pitch it. So I still am writing the same stuff I always wrote, but like always I’m just talking it aloud rather than actually handing it in to somebody.

**Craig:** Yeah. And look you do have some leeway when it’s original material of course because it’s yours. So, people obviously submit spec scripts. That doesn’t count as writing you left behind and all that stuff. But if there’s any concern whatsoever that you could be compromising your own leverage, just don’t do it. I mean, I think what you’re saying is it could not be easier right now to have people jump on good old Zoom. So that’s my theory is stay safe. I think your mask analogy is actually perfect.

**John:** Great. One other bit of news that came up this week, and I don’t know if you had a chance to look through these articles that people sent through. This is a Supreme Court decision that came back regarding copyright law and state government and the intersection between the two. Craig, do you want to give us a quick summary of what happened here.

**Craig:** Well, sure. It doesn’t actually even matter what the case was about. What matters is this. The Supreme Court essentially said that individual states cannot be sued by individual people over violation of copyright. As far as I can tell it seems to come down to the separation of powers between states and the federal government because it’s a federal law. And somehow one way or another, I mean, copyright is written into the constitution, but somehow one way or another the Supreme Court – and this was not one of those 5-4 decisions. This was unanimous. The Supreme Court said a state, a United States state, has immunity from federal lawsuits charging copyright infringement.

And that’s fascinating.

**John:** It is really fascinating. So it’s worth looking at the original case because I remember hearing this as a podcast a year or two ago before it went to the Supreme Court. It revolves around this videographer who is brought in to record footage of this Black Beard pirate ship that had been found. And the state government ended up using it. I guess it was Florida. Ended up using some of that footage and some of those photos for its own purposes without compensating him. And that was the initial lawsuit was about that.

The reason why we’re talking about it on Scriptnotes is that you can extend this to in theory a state could take copyrighted film material, copyrighted written material and use it for its own purposes without incurring a violation which seems not great. So it could mean that a state could take a book and sort of publish it itself and send it out to everybody and there would not be recourse for the author or the publisher to go after the state.

I would be surprised if we get to that point. I would be surprised if suddenly every state is sort of taking Spider Man and making their own Spider Man movies. But the kernel in there, there’s nothing kind of preventing it based on this Supreme Court decision.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, that’s right. Currently if the state of California saw a shortfall in its funding and decided it was going to, I don’t know, self-fund a Mickey Mouse cartoon or a new Avengers movie they could. That said, it does seem like what the Supreme Court was saying was that Congress could fix this. This is a weird loophole that can be closed if – I think Justice Breyer said, “A more tailored congressional effort through legislate in this area might pass constitutional muster.” So it may come to pass.

But it is not a pleasant feeling to know that the state can just essentially just grab your work and reprint it. Or adapt it. That’s a strange one. So, so far it does seem like it has occurred in this very narrow sense. But odd. I sent this to Ted Elliott immediately because I said this is the best intersection of your interests I can imagine – copyright law and pirates.

**John:** Yeah. That is a really strange intersection. So Ted Elliott, writer of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie and lots of other amazing movies, the original Aladdin, who can talk in exhausting circles about anything related to federal law and copyright law. So, this is of course right up his alley.

**Craig:** I was so happy to send it to him.

**John:** Yes. So we’ll keep an eye on this. I doubt that there will be a huge repercussion in the near term for anything related to what we are doing. Honestly, I could imagine this would be a story that would have sent shockwaves through the industry in a time when the industry was functioning at all normally, but this is just not a thing that anyone is focused on right now.

**Craig:** And it won’t. I don’t think this will result in actual shockwaves.

**John:** Because Disney will not allow it to happen.

**Craig:** Well, yeah. Good luck to the state of Florida trying to do that and Disney is like, oh OK, we’ll just remove our weird kind of extra governmental fiefdom from your state. I mean, that is a whole other area by the way that is fascinating is Disney’s weird country inside of Florida. It’s bizarre what they’ve worked out. Anyway, another time.

**John:** Another time. All right, well this is a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. And so I thought we might actually take this time in Episode 446 to define screenwriting and what screenwriting actually is. Because I don’t know if we’ve actually talked about it in actually that much depth weirdly over the course of this. Because Craig, you did your solo episode about how to write a screenplay. That was really sort of fundamentally kind of 101 the things about writing a screenplay. But I wanted to sort of do some backstory about the origin of screenwriting and sort of how screenwriting began to what it has become now. Sort of what those transitions were. I have three things I want to keep in mind as we talk about what a screenwriter does and what screenwriting is. And maybe sort of tease them apart a little bit because I think especially newer people who are approaching screenwriting, which we have a bunch of new people listening just because they watched Ryan Reynolds and Phoebe Waller-Bridge last week, really talk about what the screenwriter does and what screenwriting is about.

**Craig:** I hope that my understanding of it is correct. I’d be very embarrassed if I’m wrong.

**John:** I think you will probably be very, very correct. So let’s talk about the origin of screenwriting because screenwriting as an art form is only about a century old because movies are only about a century old. When the first motion picture cameras were aimed at things and it went beyond just photographing a train coming into a station to actually trying to tell a story with a camera, at some point people recognized, oh, you know what, it would help if we wrote down the plan for what we’re going to do before we actually shot this stuff.

And so those initial things that would become screenplays were sort of just a list of shots, or a plan for how you’re going to do the things. And so when we talk about screenwriting being like architecture that’s kind of what we’re getting to is that sense of like it’s a plan for the thing you’re going to make. It is a blueprint for what the ultimate finished product is going to be which is the finished film, the thing that a person is going to watch which is not the literary document or not the paper document that we’re starting off with.

And, Craig, I don’t know if you’ve seen any of those first screenplays but they don’t closely resemble what we do now.

**Craig:** No. And I think that when people say a screenplay is a blueprint, I always get a little fussy about it. But in this aspect of it that’s exactly what it is. So part of a screenplay – a screenplay is many, many things at once. One of the things a screenplay is and has always been going back to those first ones is essentially a business plan. It is an outline of where you need to be and how long you need to be there and what needs to be seen.

There’s not a lot of art to it. It really is more of an organizational thing and the modern counterpart to it I guess would just be sometimes a director will come in and make a little shot list for the day. That is appropriate to blueprint.

**John:** Yeah. Or agenda. It’s basically these are the steps. This is how we’re going to do it. And because it’s written on 8.5×11 paper and it is done with words rather than a flowchart it feels somewhat literary. I mean, the words you pick matter a little bit, but not a tremendous amount. Basically as long as you’re going to be able to communicate what your intention is to the other people who need to see this document that’s all that really matters.

**Craig:** And that tradition carries through to this day when a screenplay still uses Interior/Exterior. Every scene must give you blueprint information that is not literary information. There is nothing literary about Exterior-House-Day-Rain or whatever you say there. The literary part comes in this other stuff that started to emerge as our craft of filmmaking and writing evolved.

**John:** Now, that evolution, I’m not enough of a student of the history of cinema to tell you exactly when the screenplay became more what we talk about today, but often you’ll hear Casablanca referenced as sort of a turning point between this kind of list of shots to something that is more like a modern screenplay in the sense of like it’s a document that you can read and in reading this document you get a sense of what the actual film is supposed to feel like. So it’s not just the pure blueprint. It’s more sort of like this gives you a sense of where you are, what’s going on. It gives you a preview of what the film is actually going to look and feel like versus just a straightforward list of these are the things you’re seeing.

**Craig:** This is not necessarily historically, yeah, you can’t call me a professor here by any stretch of the imagination. But my understanding when I look at the early stuff is that it was the American movie business that was very blueprint-y and shot list-y. But there is a pretty famous – so you’ve probably seen the silent film A Trip to the Moon.

**John:** Oh yes.

**Craig:** Where the moon gets shot in the eye.

**John:** The Brothers Lumière.

**Craig:** Exactly. George Méliès. If you look at the script for that it actually feels quite modern. There is a literary aspect to it. It’s more descriptive. I think in Europe probably there was a little bit more of a literary aspect to this much earlier than there was in the United States. But eventually by the time you get to films like Casablanca you’re fully in the swing of a literary screenplay that is combining two things at once – a non-literary production plan and art.

**John:** Now, in both the literary form and in the blueprint-y construction plan form the fundamental unit that you come back to is the scene. And so even novels have scenes. That sense of there is a moment in space and time when generally characters are saying something or doing something. It’s one carved out moment of a place and a time where things are happening. That idea of a scene you see in both the really clinical early versions of screenplays and you see them in modern screenplays. That sense of like this is a chunk of time in which these things are happening.

And I want to suss out three different kinds of things we mean by scene. So first is that moment of space and time where characters are doing a thing. That’s scene version A. Scene version B is the writing of that scene and by the writing I mean this is what the characters are saying and doing. It’s where we’re coming into that moment. It’s how we’re coming out of that moment. It is the words we’re using to describe the world in which the characters are happening, the actions they’re taking, basically everything we call scene description. Which you compare to stage plays, which is the other sort of natural version of this, the scene description in stage plays tends to be incredibly minimalist. And it’s much more robust in screenplays because you are trying to really visually describe this world in which the characters are inhabiting. So that’s an important transition.

So that’s version B is really the writing. The third version of a scene I want to distinguish between is all the formatting stuff. All the basically the grammar of screenplays that we use that make them – the conventions that make it easier for people who read a lot of screenplays to understand what’s actually happening. So, the same way that commas and periods become invisible to a reader, people who are used to reading screenplays they don’t even see INT and EXT and DAYS. Your brain just skips over those things and is able to concentrate on the meat of those. So all that other information is there, but it’s invisible to a person who is used to reading them. And being able to understand those conventions and use them properly really does affect how a person perceives a screenplay.

But that formatting, that syntax choices and all that stuff, is really a different thing I would say than the words you’re using to describe stuff. It’s really grammar versus the actual creative act of writing.

**Craig:** Yeah. And that grammar is eventually going to be analyzed by a grammar specialist known as the First AD who along with the production managers are going to be taking those scene headings and asking, OK, are these scene headings accurate to what we think we’re going to be actually doing in terms of the locations we found. How can we group them together? We need to make a timeline, night, day. All those things have huge production implications. None of them have to do specifically with art. So you’re guessing at what you think the ultimate grammar will be. But then you make adjustments once you get into production. And individual first ADs will have different ways of adjusting that grammar.

But you’re right that for most people reading it those things serve weirdly as just paragraph breaks. They’re paragraph breaks which are incredibly helpful. It’s one of the reasons why my formatting preference is to put two lines before a new scene. Because the scene, the EXT, the INT, is serving as a kind of break in the visual flow of the reading. So, I make it one because I agree with you. I think that that’s really what it’s doing. If you took out all the INTs and EXTs and just mentioned those things in action lines the script would become a book and it would be harder to read.

**John:** Yeah. So, in thinking about scenes in three different waves, so there’s the visualization, the imagination of sort of what’s happening with those characters in space and time, that is a thing that a screenwriter does, but it’s also the kind of thing a director does. It’s a thing that other creative people can do. It’s a thing an author does is envision people in a place and a time doing a thing or saying a thing. So, directors often do that scene version A a lot. They’re really imagining sort of what that scene is like. And they’re thinking about it through their own specialties. So they’re imagining it’s like, OK, so I’m envisioning this scene, this moment happening, and then they’re thinking, OK, where would I put the camera, what are the opportunities I have here, how would I use my tool set to make this happen best.

What am I going to tell the cinematographer about what I’m looking at? What am I going to tell the editor about how I would imagine this being paced? What are the costumes? What are all the things that I will need to be able to describe to other people about this moment? So that’s a version of crafting the scene.

The screenwriter has to do all that stuff but then take a second level abstraction thinking, OK, having thought through all that stuff what are the words I’m going to use to describe what’s most important about this moment? Because I could describe everything, but that would be exhausting and it would actually hurt the process of being able to understand what’s important. So, how am I’m going to synthesize that down to the most important things for people to understand if they’re reading this scene about what it’s going to feel like, what’s important, what they need to focus on?

Most of what Craig and I really are talking about on the podcast is this second level, is the B version of that scene which is how do we find the best way to describe and tell the reader what they would be seeing if they were seated in a theater watching this on a screen. How are we going to convey that experience, what it feels like to be watching that moment on the big screen? That’s mostly what we talk about on this podcast.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s a weird kind of psychological game we’re playing with scene work. In the way that Walter Murch wrote this great book about editing, I think it’s called In the Blink of an Eye, where he says we’re kind of cutting in the pattern of people’s blinks. That we blink in normal moments. We’re kind of predictable this way. We have a rhythm. So we’re editing slightly on that basis. Editing feels like music. It’s all about timing. You just know like, there, cut there. That’s the spot.

And it’s kind of the same thing with scenes. What you’re doing is feeling a psychological impact and then there’s link a blink, like a story blink, that just needs to happen. We have reached a point where something should happen and the story should blink and reset. And in a different place or a different time or with a different person, a different perspective. That to me is where the scene begins and ends. Inside of the scene we may have additional slug lines or scene headers because we’re giving that blueprint information, that nonliterary blueprint information to our production friends. But for the purpose of being artistic and literary the scene is the psychological unit. And I don’t know how else to describe it other than something blinks and the story moves.

**John:** Here’s an example. Imagine you could take a real life thing that’s happening. Like, you know, we’re in a room, there are people talking. Imagine we’re at a cocktail party. And so there’s a cocktail party. There’s maybe six people in this room. There are discussions happy. We could invite three screenwriters in and have them see all of this. And then each of them goes off and writes their own version of this scene. There would be three very different scenes because as screenwriters we are choosing to focus on different things.

So even though we all encountered the same moment, we’re writing different scenes because we are choosing to focus on different things and we want to direct the reader’s attention to different moments. And so it’s what snippets of conversations we’re using. It is who we are choosing to focus on. The same way the director is choosing where to put the camera, we are choosing where to put the reader’s attention.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And that is mostly what we talk about on this podcast is how as a writer you make the decisions about what you’re going to emphasize and what you’re going to ignore about a moment that is happening in front of us as an audience.

**Craig:** It’s one of the reasons I stress transitions so much and we have a podcast we’ve done about transitions. I can’t remember offhand the number but we’ll put it in the show notes. Transitions help the audience demarcate the blank – the beginning and end of the scene. Because inside of scenes, once you get away from the page and you’re just watching a television show or a movie, well, there is the montage effect which is essentially – in the old sense of the word, not the “we’re doing a montage” but rather when you show something and then you cut to something else. We understand that time is continuing even though we have moved the camera and cut.

So these things are constantly happening. So how do you know when one thing begins and one thing ends? Since it’s all cut-cut-cut-cut-cut, why does one cut signal the beginning of something? And why does one cut signal the end? And why do others feel like they’re just part of a continuity? Transitions. They let you know when the scene has begun and they let you know when it’s over.

**John:** Absolutely. And that’s a great segue to really this third version of what I’m describing of this scene which is all of the formatting and the standard conventions and grammar that we’ve come to expect out of screenplays. And it’s different from the transition that Craig is talking about because Craig is really talking psychologically what are we trying to do by ending the scene there and getting to the next scene. But that will also have a reflection in literally the words and how we’re formatting that moment to get us from one scene to the next scene.

So, all the stuff that your screenwriting software does for you that is the sort of technical details that makes screenplays look so strange and different. And as I was reading through all these entries for the Three Page Challenge, picking them for the episode we’re recording tomorrow, I was struck by many of our listeners really get it. They know exactly what they’re doing. But some of them are actually still struggling with that third kind of scene writing which is basically understanding how standard screenplay conventions are so helpful in letting the reader understand what’s important in this moment. And so some of them are still struggling with that stuff.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** That’s the kind of thing I think you can actually teach and be taught. And the best way to do it is to read a ton of screenplays and see just how it is so it becomes really natural. So, you read a bunch, you write a bunch to sort of match up to that thing. But you will very quickly get a sense of how screenplays are formatted and how to make that feel effortless. Make it feel like it’s not in your way but is actually helping you.

What’s much harder for us to try to teach you is that second part. That part of how to very naturally convey what a moment feels like. And I want to make sure we keep that distinction clear because being able to type “cut to” and understand how to get down a page is a different thing than being able to really shape what a scene is going to feel like for the reader.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, literally anyone can put something into a screenplay format. It’s never been easier. And saying “cut to” and then “EXT. Such and such” will make something look like a scene has ended and a new scene has begun on the page. But it actually will not translate whatsoever to the actual viewing experience. The only thing that you have in your arsenal to demarcate that for the viewer is creativity. A sense of rhythm. A sense of conclusion. A sense of propulsion. A sense of surprise. Contrast. All the things that we talk about when we think of transitions that have nothing to do with formatting because alas there is no sign flashing in the movie or on your television set that says “new scene has begun.”

So, this is the craft part. And, man, if I were teaching a screenwriting class at USC or UCLA or one of those places I think honestly I would just begin with that. I would just begin with please let’s just talk about the art of letting people know something has begun and something has ended.

**John:** Yeah. Because “cut to” is not when a scene ends. The scene ends when the scene is ending. And so often you feel like, OK, that scene is over, but there’s a couple more lines. When you actually film that you’re going to realize you don’t need this extra. You recognize that that moment is over and therefore the scene should be over. And it’s a hard thing to learn until you’ve sort of gone through it.

**Craig:** That is where the sort of talent and instinct is. Obviously experience helps as you go on, as it does with everything. But there is an innate sense that something has concluded. And even, you know, for those of us who have been doing this for a while and we’re professionals, we will often make a mistake of going a little bit too far. Or not far enough. And then somebody will come and say, “I feel like maybe the scene ended here.” The key is that when somebody says that you can look at it and go, no, it hasn’t and here’s why. Or, yeah, you’re right. That’s where it ended.

But there is a sense.

**John:** So having written the Arlo Finch books one of the great advantages to traditional literary fiction is that if you’re lucky you have a publisher and that publisher provides an editor who is going through that work and doing some of this actual checking with you. Whereas I might send Craig a script and he can say like, oh, I think your scene really ended here, the editor’s job is much more sort of clinical and saying like, OK now, she’s actually cutting some stuff, saying, “No, you’re done here.” And sometimes you’ll get to a line editor or a copy editor who is going through and actually fixing your mistakes.

Screenwriters generally don’t have anybody like that. So we are responsible for doing all of that ourselves. And I do sometimes wonder if sometimes there are people who are really pretty good at that stage A of writing a scene and stage B of writing a scene, but are really kind of terrible at stage three, that stage C of writing a scene and doing the actual making it work right as a screenplay kind of thing would just be so helped out by having someone who could just go through and make it read better, make it read more conventionally on the page so we can really see what the intention is versus being hung up on the strange mistakes they’re making.

**Craig:** You know, I was a guest for a webinar, a Zoominar, a Zoominar–

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Through Princeton University. I did it yesterday. And so they open it up to members of that community, and I don’t know there was 100 people or something like that watching, which is kind of fun to see all the little Zoom faces. And someone asked a question and it essentially went to this which was when you look at how screenplays work as opposed to a novel there are so many other things that you have to be thinking about. In a novel you’re just thinking about what people are saying and doing and thinking. And in a screenplay you’re managing all this other stuff, like time and the camera and the visual space and how it will be structured, and when things move from one place to another. And unfortunately that’s true. If you want to be a good screenwriter you’re going to have to be a little bit of a Swiss Army knife.

It’s very hard to be a good screenwriter but only be good at one thing. Every now and then you’ll hear somebody say, “Oh, well we’re bring them in but they’re doing a character pass.” And I’m like well what the hell does that mean? What’s the difference between character and story? They’re exactly the same thing to me. They’re interwoven. I don’t know how to separate these things. Or sometimes they’ll say, “Well we’re bringing somebody in to do a comedy pass.” OK. So is that just like somebody is going to stop in the middle of the movie and do some stand up? The comedy has to come out of who they are and what the situations are.

We have to kind of do all of it at the same time, which is why it’s so hard.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** It’s really, really hard. There are, I don’t know, 4,000 times as many successful novelists as there are screenwriters.

**John:** That is true. What I will say though about the Princeton question is the things that the student was asking about, like you have to do all these other things, those become really kind of automatic and much simpler with experience. So, you stop having to worry about them so much. The same way like once you really learn how to use a semicolon you can just use a semicolon. And so a lot of the – to try this and the sort of weird things about our modern screenplay format, once you get used to it you sort of stop thinking about it and it becomes less of an obstacle. So I’m never as a screenwriter frustrated by like I don’t know how I’m going to do this in a screenplay format. It just becomes really straightforward after a time.

**Craig:** It does take time. But eventually it’s like touch typing. I don’t think about where the W is. My finger just goes there.

**John:** Absolutely. All right. Let’s answer some listener questions. Y asks, “I’m in the midst of writing a show for a big streamer that is currently scheduled to start shooting early in 2021 and should air at the end of that year.” Congratulations, Y.

**Craig:** Y, good job.

**John:** “The series takes place in present times and is set in a Central European city. It suddenly occurred to me that I might need to write this pandemic into my show. We don’t know when this will end, but when it does finally end there will obviously be a last effect in the world. Can we ignore it? Does every non-period show need to have the coronavirus pandemic as part of its history, its world? I guess you could make a show in the early 2000s and ignore 9/11, right?”

Craig, should everyone rewrite their scripts now?

**Craig:** No. There’s an easy answer. No. You can make a show in the early 2000s and ignore 9/11 because not everything that was going on in the early 2000s was all 9/11-y. I can assure you of that. I was there. I’m pretty sure that Y was there, too. There is a real danger when you have an event like this, and it’s been coming up lately in a couple of things that I’ve been working on or developing, where people will say, “Oh my god, how do we work this in?” And the answer is you don’t because as I put it you can’t beat Dick Wolf. Right? That’s my general rule of thumb. You can’t beat Dick Wolf.

If there’s going to be a pandemic show on the air it will be a Dick Wolf show. It will be NCIS: Pandemic and it will be on. It will be on way before you can get it on. But also it’s very narrow. It’s very topical. Do not underestimate the capability of humans to forget things. That’s why we ended up in this mess in the first place.

Now, hopefully as a world we will respond to this and be smart about it. But not every show or movie needed to be about Vietnam in the early ‘70s. And not every show or movie needed to be about 9/11 in the early 2000s. And certainly not every TV show or movie needs to be about COVID in 2021. People will have died just as people have died through terrible things multiple times in multiple ways. We are not going to want to have everything soaking in COVID, COVID, COVID all the time. It will become oppressive and limiting.

And honestly I don’t think it reflects the reality of existence. If you want to make a drama about COVID or about a pandemic response, or if you want to acknowledge that it occurred obliquely, or have somebody just mention, yes, it was a thing back when COVID was happening. Or, oh yeah, he was a doctor during COVID time, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But I don’t think we need to tie ourselves up in knots just because this has happened in a creative sense. What do you think?

**John:** Not to contradict you, but I do think that this is going to have some repercussions in terms of what normal character behavior looks like in 2021, 2022, and beyond. So, this is a thing I’ve seen on Twitter, but I also feel this in real life. As I watch some things I see characters, like strangers shaking hands, and hugs, and things like that that feel kind of weird now because it’s not a thing that’s actually happening. So, I would tell Y as you’re thinking about this show and thinking about what’s going to happen I think it’s fair to imagine what normal social interactions might look like at the time you’re filming this and be cognizant that some stuff that made total sense in 2019 isn’t going to make total sense in 2021 or 2022. And you’re going to have to be mindful that some of this stuff would happen.

Would people wear masks in the backgrounds of shots? Maybe. You just don’t know what’s going to feel real or feel right. But you probably will have a sense of that more when it comes time to actually make this thing. I’m working on a project right now with a partner and a conversation we’re going to have to be having is that the central couple in this thing we’re writing live in New York City and have been a couple for enough time that they would have lived through this pandemic. And so will that be a factor in their relationship? Like is that a thing they would reference? Is that a thing they would have gone through together the same way that any couple in the 1940s would have had to deal with the Second World War?

And so that is a thing that may factor into this. But I’m certainly not basing everything around that.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** I’ll be curious whether our friend Derek Haas who does the Chicago Fire show and other Chicago shows for Dick Wolf, they’ll have to reference it some degree because they are a show about emergency medical professionals. But how much it influences the seasons they’re writing right now and going forward.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, look, they’re going to have to make their interesting choices. Obviously you’re not going to want your show to feel like it is taking place two years prior or a year prior. Yes, if there’s normal human behavior that is permanently disrupted like handshaking or hugging then, you know, you’ll want to reflect that. But you barely will even have to comment on it because it just won’t happen. You know, you just stop doing it. And if people routinely wear masks in public, which I don’t think is going to happen, but if they do it will just happen. You’ll just do it. You won’t even have to write it in, because you don’t have to write in that people are wearing pants, right? We just know they are.

**John:** Right.

**Craig:** I just think that there is a little bit – the dangerous topicality. You just want to avoid topicality, meaning you don’t want your movie or your television show to feel like it only made sense in 2021 and then every other year later you’re like, wow, look at that thing, it’s all freaked out about the rise of disco. That is a ’79 movie. You know, it’s that kind of thing.

**John:** Agreed. Do you want to take Brendan’s question?

**Craig:** Sure. We’ve got Brendan from Toronto. Not Toronto, but Toronto. “I’ve heard John talk on the show about how you don’t generally write in sequence, instead work on whatever scene appeals to you at the moment. I’m working on my first screenplay on Highland 2, it’s brilliant, and my question is about organizing all of those out of sequence scenes. Do you create a new document for each scene? And then later assemble them? Or is it one master document that you organize into sequence as you go?”

Perfect question for you to answer because I do write in sequence, so how do you handle this, John?

**John:** So I do write each scene as a separate document. And I’ve been doing this since the very start of my career. So back in the day I would handwrite scenes and then type them up later. Or if I was out someplace writing them up I would fax them back to my assistant Rawson Thurber who would type them up and keep each of them in a separate folder that we would share.

So, yes, I tend to keep scenes separate until it’s time to assemble them into one big screenplay. I generally start assembling when I have about 60% of a screenplay done, if I feel like I’m through about 60% of the scenes. Then I’ll assemble it. Back in the old times I would just copy and paste into one big document. Now in Highland 2 there’s a really handy feature where you can literally just drag the scenes in from the desktop and into a master document and hit assemble and it will pull all those scenes in together so that you have one thing nicely assembled for you.

But, no, I do keep them separate. Mostly I want to keep them separate because I don’t want to rewrite things until I actually have enough stuff that’s worth rewriting. So I try to avoid that problem where if I start at the beginning of a screenplay and move forward I’m constantly rewriting those first 10, 20, 30 pages and I have a very hard time moving the ball down the field. But if I’m writing those scenes individually I just get a lot more scenes written. And then I can look at them all together and I have to do a good amount of work rewriting everything to make it feel like one consistent document sometimes, but I get a lot more done if I’ve written those scenes separately, kept them separate until I’m really ready to focus on the script as a whole.

**Craig:** It’s so funny how different we are. I mean, I’m literally the opposite. I do write it all in one document and I do rewrite it as I go. We have our rhythms. This is the, you know, vive la difference.

**John:** And I will say that writing the Arlo Finch books I would still be writing the first book if I had started at the beginning and kept it as one document because I would have just kept rewriting those early chapters. And so keeping each of those chapters separate was absolutely essentially to finishing the books.

**Craig:** That makes sense.

**John:** All right. Penny from Chicago writes, “I’m still in the early stages of becoming a screenwriter, but as I look to the future I worry if I’m cut out for it. I have a neurological disorder that significantly limits my ability to be around people or handle high levels of stress. So my question is does the industry accommodate people with either physical or mental disabilities? Or do those kind of limitations make it impossible for someone to become a screenwriter?”

Craig, what’s your instinct for what Penny should be thinking about?

**Craig:** Well, the industry like any industry has certain accommodations for people who have disabilities and those accommodations unfortunately usually don’t go far beyond what is required by the ADA or any other legislation. And to some extent there are physical or mental disabilities that make certain jobs impossible. If you are paralyzed you’re going to have a hard time getting a job as a stuntman. And if you have a certain kind of neurological disorder that makes for instance organizing words into speech easy then that’s going to be difficult for you as a writer.

Your neurological disorder as you have defined it here is not disqualifying as far as I can tell. There are a lot of screenwriters who are kind of famously reclusive. They don’t have neurological disorders as far as I know. They just don’t want to talk to anybody. And they don’t want to be involved in high stress situations like production. What they do is they write a script and it is emissaried off to a studio by a representative. And hopefully a sale is made and money is returned. And that’s what they do. And then other people who are more interested and capable of face-to-face interactions with people and high stress situations are then brought in to continue the process.

To do that you have to be really good. Your work has to be outstanding because there is a part of the job that is dealing with people and handling stress. So what you’re saying is I can do a good amount of that job. I can’t do all of the job. Is it disqualifying? No. It doesn’t make it impossible. It will make what was already a very difficult job to get and succeed at harder. So that’s just something you have to price in.

**John:** Absolutely. As Craig was saying there are a tremendous number of writers working in this industry who have issues with anxiety and depression. That is totally common. What you’re describing sounds like it goes beyond that and if you’re doing the best you can do it and it feels like interactions with a lot of people and high stress environments are not your thing it’s great that you recognize this now.

And what Craig describes in terms of the social aspect of screenwriting is real. There is having to interface with people and deal with people that is bigger than what it would be for say a novelist or for some other people who have writing jobs that let them not interact with people so much. So doing what Craig describes in terms of being the writer who hands the thing in but is not sort of in the room with people a lot is possible. It’s more difficult to get started that way, but it is possible.

The other thing Penny that I would keep in mind is that sometimes having a writing partner may be a huge help here. Where if you have somebody who was actually pretty good at all the public interaction stuff. That could be a tremendous support structure for you to do some of the social aspects of the screenwriting job. So, I think we’re both telling you don’t stop screenwriting because you’re worried that the career of it is going to be more challenging because of what you see as limitations. It’s great that you’re being mindful about it. But I would say don’t let it preclude your dream of being able to write movies if that is a thing you really want to do.

**Craig:** Yeah. I agree. And I would also say Penny that I’m just going to guess, because you say you’re still in the early stages of becoming a screenwriter, I’m just going to guess that you are on the younger side. It’s not necessarily the case based on what you said, but it seems like a reasonable guess. And if that is the case neurological disorders don’t always sit where they are and never change. They can change over time. And they can improve. They can worsen. They can transform.

So, you’re not always clear about where you’re going to be with something. I mean, mental illness, which is different than neurological disorder, can be more easily transformed or mitigated by medication, but neurological disorders are really interesting because the brain is so plastic. And you never know.

So, I’m hesitant to say, “Yeah, no, don’t do it,” because it is doable. Just I think you’re asking the good questions and sounds like you’re kind of coming into it with open eyes. And you may be surprised. Look, the only way to find out ultimately Penny is to give it a shot.

**John:** Agreed. Craig, do you want to take Jared’s question? Let’s have that be our last one.

**Craig:** Jared asks, “Toward the end of last year I received my first ever offer from a major studio to option a feature screenplay I wrote on spec, which is also included on 2019’s Black List. There were other parties involved in the sale of the script,” I’m already confused, “and after months of waiting to see if all parties’ deal would close and whether or not a worldwide pandemic could thwart this project from ever getting off the ground I just got word that we are finally moving forward and next week we will have what would have been a kickoff meeting, our official kickoff call, with the studios, the producers, and myself.

“Scriptnotes has successfully guided me to this point in my career and I am turning to your wisdom once again.” You got it, Jared. Here we go. “I’m an assistant in the industry but I don’t recall hearing the term kickoff meeting if ever prior to selling my script and I’m feeling a little underprepared. I am ready and excited to hear their notes to commence my rewrite on the script, however there is an intimidating lineup of people scheduled to be on the call and I’m hoping that one or both of you might be able to share with us your experience with kickoff meetings and any advice you may be able to provide to help it go well.”

I just had one of these not a week ago.

**John:** Yeah. So kickoff meetings are great. And first off congratulations Jared. It’s a very exciting time for you. I mean, when the sale happened that was great, but this is going to feel more real because this is a bunch of people in a room or a virtual room talking about how excited they are to be making your movie and what they see as the next steps to make that movie a reality.

So, that really is a kickoff meeting. It’s sort of the first time the whole team is together to talk about their mutual goals in trying to create this project.

**Craig:** Yeah. I never had one in movies, in features. My kickoff meetings have been in television. And we just had one the other day for The Last of Us. And, yes, you can get a lineup of intimidating people. I’ll tell you right now, Jared, you’re getting more of those intimidating people because they got less going on during the pandemic, so they’re getting on these calls because they can. Don’t panic about it.

But just know that while they’re all going to be talking, you have a voice, and a calm reassuring manner is always appreciated by everyone. It costs you nothing to be open right now. Listening is great. Being pleasant and reassuring I think is always your best bet. If they ask a question that you’re not prepared to answer you can say, “That’s a fantastic question and I want to give myself the benefit of time before answering. So I’m going to consider that one. Let me get back to you on that because I want to answer it correctly.” But otherwise just, you know, listen, people love hearing themselves talk.

Now, that’s actually happily not the case with my kickoff call. My kickoff call was awesome. But there are people that are just like blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. And if you have one of those, let them do it.

**John:** What Craig says about being open and positive is absolutely correct. To really be listening. And it’s also fair to ask follow up questions that are phrased in a way that you’re truly trying to understand more information rather than being defensive. So just watch your tone a little bit there. What I think will be helpful about this kickoff call is it gives you a sense of what each person on the call’s vision is for what the movie is going to be. Because they have your screenplay, which they love, which is great, but they may each have slightly different visions of what that movie is going to be. And so it’s a first chance for you to clock what people actually think the movie is going to be in terms of what the budget is like, what the timeline is like, who they might see starring, a director if there’s not a director on board.

It’s a great chance to get a temperature reading for where people are at in terms of this. You’ll also probably hear some conflicting notes or some conflicting ideas. So, this won’t probably be a notes call, but you’ll get a sense of what’s important to different people. And it’s good for you to know that as the writer and to be able to assess how you might be able to implement those things or what things you’re going to need to watch out for down the road.

I would say be mostly excited and happy about this. Certainly publicly be mostly excited and happy about this. But also just be mindful that this is going to be your first chance to really get a sense of what people see for your movie down the road.

**Craig:** Yeah. For now.

**John:** For now.

**Craig:** Right. Because they’ll change their minds later.

**John:** They will.

**Craig:** And if anyone says something that freaks you out, don’t worry about it. You’re still going to do what you want. You know what I mean? They don’t know what they’re talking about until they see what you’ve done. The truth is that the kick off meeting, the real value is for them to find out vaguely when are you turning this in. That’s the most important thing. When are you turning this in?

**John:** Yeah. So, Craig, when are you turning in The Last of Us? That’s what we want to know.

**Craig:** Hmm? What?

**John:** What?

**Craig:** They want to know when you’re turning it in. And they want to know that you’re not a knucklehead. And they want to know that you’re listening to them. The things that they’re saying in any given moment, especially if they’re disagreeing, are not super relevant because everything will be ultimately contextualized within the script itself that you write or rewrite in this case. So, good luck, Jared.

**John:** I’m going to sneak one last question in here which would have gone really well earlier on. Anne asks, “Will handwashing become the new ‘don’t start with your character waking up’ moment?”

**Craig:** God, yeah, there’s going to be a lot of that.

**John:** You’re going to see a lot of handwashing in movies.

**Craig:** Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of handwashing. I’m just saying already don’t do it.

**John:** Don’t do it.

**Craig:** Just don’t do it. There’s a lot of things we don’t show in movies. We don’t show people wiping their butts either. You’re clean. We get it. Don’t do it.

**John:** Yeah. Up to this point if I saw a character washing his or her hands for 20 seconds in a movie it’s like, oh, that person has OCD. Now you see it and it’s like, oh, that’s a perfectly reasonable person.

**Craig:** Right. That’s a responsible human being.

**John:** That’s a responsible American citizen. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing is pandemic-related. It is a comic prepared by Nicky Case, Carmelo Troncoso, and Marcel Salathé that talks through how contact tracing actually works. And so contact tracing is this idea that at a certain point in this pandemic people will start going out into the world more and you’ll want people to see, OK, that person bumped into an infected person. How do we get information about who that person interacted with?

And I was really confused about how you would do this, especially how you would do this in a way that wasn’t incredibly oppressive and big brother like. What I liked about this comic is it talks through the ways we’re probably going to be able to do this app wise where you’re actually not spilling a ton of private information to this. It’s just that if two phones are close to each other for a certain period of time they will just exchange secret codes between each other. And then if one of those people does test positive it can notify the other phone that it bumped into saying like, hey, you should go get tested.

So, it’s actually a pretty clever way that this might all work. So it gave me some hope that as we move into further phases of how we’re dealing with this stuff there could be some pretty smart solutions.

**Craig:** Yeah, I think pandemic technology, preventative technology, and mitigating technology is going to be a massive new industry. It just feels obvious to me.

My One Cool Thing is similar to one I did recently, but you know, just helping people out during the quarantine phase here. So I had Online Codenames. And now I’m here to offer you Online Decrypto. Have I – I think I’ve done Decrypto.

**John:** I think it’s been a previous One Cool Thing. It’s such a good game.

**Craig:** It’s a great game. So the online version of it, rather than go into – it’s sort of Codenames in reverse. It’s actually more fun and intense than Codenames. It’s not as casual as Codenames is. Especially if you’re playing with some intense people it can be awesome.

So, as always, please make sure that you purchase the actual game. And for Decrypto I think it’s even more important than it was for Codenames because the actual notepad that they provide in the Decrypto game is excellent and really helps you organize the game play.

There’s a gentleman who wrote a script. Well, I don’t know. Might be a gentlewoman. It was a Redditer so I just immediately went to dude. I don’t know if it’s a man or woman. But they wrote a little program and it’s up on GitHub and it works really well.

If you don’t have your score pad you’re going to have to sort of cobble one together. But like I said you really should be buying these games if you’re going to be playing the online amelioration versions.

**John:** Cool. That is our show for this week. So stick around after the credits and Craig and I will talk about charity stuff. But otherwise Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Out outro this week is by Scott Anderson. If you have an outro – and listen, you have time. You can write us an outro. You can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions like the ones we answered today. But for short questions on Twitter, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find the transcripts. We try to get them up about four days after the episode airs. And actually it’s really fun. With the transcripts I’ve been able to update the captions on our YouTube videos as well. So, Craig, you no longer say a bad word in the transcripts.

**Craig:** That was awesome.

**John:** For that. You can sign up to become a Premium member at Scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments. Craig, thanks for a good discussion.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

[Bonus segment]

**John:** Craig, so you brought up charities. Let’s talk about charities and the challenge of running charities, fundraising for charities, actually doing the work of charities.

**Craig:** So, charities in the United States and I think this carries through across the world have to be registered if they’re going to confer the basic benefit of a charity to a donor, which is tax deductions. So, if you make a donation to a charity and it’s a proper registered charity with the appropriate tax service then you get to discount that amount of money from your taxable income.

In the United States most of your major charities will fall under something called a 501(c)(3). That’s the ridiculous tax code number that addresses this thing. But that means that a charity is a real company. It needs to have a board of directors. It needs to have bylaws and officers and accountants and accounting and all these things. And, of course, charities employ people. People are fundraising. People are disturbing the money. As you guys found out collecting a bunch of money might be easy initially. Dispersing it and handling the requests is hard.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** And you are entrusted with enormous amount of cash. You need to make sure that the people that are working for you are trustworthy and that there are systems in place to prevent embezzlement and misappropriation. It costs money to run a charity.

Now, what happened sort of, I don’t know, seemed like it started happening in the ‘90s was a kind of reasonable concern about charity overhead. If I give my money to an organization and then I hear that they spend 30% of that on their overhead, which sounds like a bunch of crap stuff. Like, blech, lunches? Well, OK, you’re asking me for $10,000 and you’re going to spend $3,000 of it on stuff that isn’t helping poor children? No. I don’t want to do that.

And then another charity comes along and says, “No, we don’t do that. We’ve gotten our overhead down to 2%.” Well, you get my money. But here’s my question to you, John August. Two charities, both are going to be giving money to feed hungry children. One charity raises $1 million and they have a 1% overhead. So they have to remove $10,000. They give $990,000 to hungry children.

The other charity raises $10 million. They have a 10% overhead. They get to give $9 million to hungry children. Which charity is more effective?

**John:** Yeah. So the answer is both the second one and the answer is also you can’t necessarily know. Because effectiveness is really a measure of how much have they achieved of their goals. And their goals might be very different based on the community they’re trying to serve, what their actual objective is.

So, yes, the one with higher overhead probably is raising more money and putting more money out there in the field. But effectiveness really comes down to is the charity well run. Is it actually efficient at doing what it’s supposed to be doing? Is it putting the money that it has raised to the best use of the people they’re trying to serve or the animals it’s trying to serve or whatever organization it’s trying to serve? Is it really doing the thing it’s meant to be doing? And that you sometimes can’t know just on a numbers level.

**Craig:** That’s right. And it’s really hard to tell what the impact of overhead is on an organization. Because there are organizations where people can just get paid too much. Money can be wasted. There are organizations that are run poorly and they need to be held accountable. That’s in theory what a good board of directors would do.

On the other hand what we do know about charities is that getting really good people to work for that charity is hard. There are people who are excellent at their jobs. Having been on the boards of a couple of charities I have seen the difference a really good staff person makes as opposed to a not really good staff person. It’s transformational.

So, how do you get that person? You have to pay them.

**John:** You have to pay that person.

**Craig:** And like anyone else, you’re in a competitive employment marketplace and there are other charities that might want them, too. You need to compensate them. And in compensating them what you’re saying is we actually will be a better organization. We will raise more and we will distribute more and we will achieve more.

So, one of the things that has kind of been evolving in the charity world over the last 10 or 15 years is a notion that rather than looking at overhead percentage you try as best you can to, A, look at independent metrics of success as you’re suggesting. And also increasing the size of the pie. It’s not so much about how big of the pie is sliced for overhead but rather what is the slice of the pie. Or as George W. Bush famously said, “Make the pie higher.” [laughs]

**John:** I like a good high pie. I don’t know about you.

**Craig:** I mean, we used to think that he was a problem. Anyway. So because I have interfaced with people who work in charity and work for 501(c)(3)s, and my wife was working for nonprofits for quite some time, you begin to appreciate how dangerous the kind of squeeze became. Because it was hurting good people who were trying to do good things. And what was happening was a brain drain, a talent loss. When you ask, well, I can run your organization for $100,000 a year and have people tell me I’m paid too much, or I can just go across the street and work for private interest and get paid $700,000 and everyone tells me I’m successful and wonderful.”

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Hmm. So these are the things that charities have to kind of balance. But if you are ever considering how to donate try to avoid the sites that are just like “overhead is everything.” It’s not.

**John:** Yeah. I will look at sort of how much money an organization brings in is designed to actually just continue fundraising. Because if an organization seems to mostly exist to fundraise that’s probably not going to be a very good use of money. So, if most of the money I’m giving them is going to go back into them sending me glossy magazines then that’s not an organization I necessarily want to be supporting as much. I always look for sort of what are they literally trying to – what are they doing – what did they do this last year? What did they do the year before? What is the actual effect of donations happening?

So a charity I work with is called FOMO. I’ll put a link in the show notes for that. It’s Friends of Mulanje Orphans. This is the orphan group that I visited in Southern Africa ten years ago. And I’ve been working with them since then. So they are a British charity and so when I give them money I can’t get a tax write-off because they’re a British charity. And trying to setup the US arm of that was so complicated that I ended up sort of giving up on that. But I can see exactly what they’re doing because they’re literally building buildings and schools for these kids. And so money I give directly becomes buildings there which is fantastic. And it’s great to be able to see what they’re able to do.

And when a charity is run long enough that the kids who grew up through it are now actually running it is terrific. So, that’s a sustainability that feels really important for me as I’m looking at some charities.

And then there’s just ad hoc stuff like what we did for Support our Supporting Staffs which was sort of a crisis need. But could clearly not become the sustainable solution because a bunch of volunteers like me going through Google spreadsheets to sort of figure out how to send out checks was not going to be sustainable.

**Craig:** Yeah. Precisely. Fundraising is a tricky one because it is the lifeblood of a charity. That is weirdly their business. Like those are the people that are paying and then the product is the charity that is delivered. And so development is an enormously important thing for any charity to do, because if the money doesn’t come in you can’t achieve your goals in any way. It’s a tricky thing because having been involved there are times when what will happen is you’ll say, you know what, let’s not send the glossy magazine out. We can save $40,000 and not send the glossy magazine. And you make that decision and then you get a phone call from a very irate person that donates a million dollars a year saying, “Where is my glossy magazine.” Get the glossy magazine back out because the numbers are the numbers. Math is math.

And this is why running charities is really hard. And all I can say is that try and find a charity that is doing the work that you want to see done and doing it effectively and make that your focus. Don’t make the focus how much the person running it gets paid or anything else. Just say are they getting the job done well and effectively and impressively or not. That’s kind of the way I analyze these things.

**John:** I’m also really mindful of mission creep which is where a charity is set up ostensibly to do one thing but then you look at them five years, 10 years down the road and you’re like, wait, that’s not at all what you’re supposed to be doing. And I’m not going to name the organization because I don’t want to blow up my replies, but there’s a big Los Angeles charity–

**Craig:** I know the one you’re talking about.

**John:** Yes. And so you’ll see billboards for it everywhere and it’s like, wait, that’s actually not what you’re about at all. Then when you actually look at what they’re doing it’s mostly about real estate suddenly. And it’s like, wait, that does not feel very close to the healthcare thing that you started off your mission doing. That is a great frustration of mine and that’s why there are charities who by name I would absolutely support but when you actually look at what they’re doing, oh my. No. I am not eager to support them.

**Craig:** Yeah. There is a sociological phenomenon called Crusaderism and crusading always – well not always – but typically starts with a kind of purity of purpose. Something tragic happens. A crusade is formed to combat it and fix it. And what happens is the crusaders become comfortable with crusading. If the problem is solved the crusade must continue, so what else? What else can we do? Because we don’t want to just shut down. They get used to it.

And I agree with you. Now, it’s possible that there are organizations that overtime you just look at and say, well, your name doesn’t really reflect what you do, but what you do is fantastic. OK, that’s different. Because a name is a name. But, yes, that is something to be aware of. And there are people who become incredibly comfortable with just donating to the same thing.

Shake your charity up a little bit. You don’t need to be in a rut and just keep pumping it into one thing. Look around. Diversify your portfolio a little bit as you seek to help people around you.

**John:** Yeah. So an example of a charity that I am involved with that its mission did change but they actually changed the name of their organization to reflect their mission had changed. So it’s now called Family Equality. But when it started it was basically a support group for gay and lesbian parents and trying to make sure that they had the emotional and community support they needed as gay parents. AS marriage equality became the law of the land some of their advocacy stopped making as much sense because like once you had marriage equality a lot of the other family equality stuff sort of came in with that. So they could instead just focus on what are the aspects of state and federal law that is not treating same sex couples the same when it comes to their parents. And so they changed the whole name of the organization to Family Equality to reflect like this is what we’re actually doing now and that felt like a good honest pivot to sort of where stuff needs to be at this moment.

**Craig:** Smart.

**John:** Because it is recognizing that they couldn’t just keep fighting the last fight. And I would say that some of the organizations that were designed for same sex rights back before marriage equality have really struggled to figure out what their place is in this world once marriage equality became the law in the US.

**Craig:** It happens. I mean, sometimes a charity is a victim of its own success, particularly if the charity is kind of dealing with a binary cause. We are trying to switch something from off to on. Or from on to off. If it happens, well, what now? And you can see this obviously with certain disease-based charities. If you solve a particular disease then the charity that was dedicated to curing that disease becomes somewhat superfluous. What happens to that organization? To the people who work for it who rely on it for their livelihoods and so on and so forth?

Interesting questions and organizations have to face those challenges. Sounds like Family Equality did exactly the right thing which was just say we’re not going to pretend that this is still a problem. We’re not going to fear monger you and tell you that it will go away next year. We’re going to try and do something different but equally as important to the same kind of families we were advocating for before.

**John:** Agreed. Craig, thanks for a good discussion.

**Craig:** Thank you, John.

**John:** Bye.

Links:

* [Scriptnotes Set Up](https://johnaugust.com/2013/how-we-record-scriptnotes)
* [John’s Writing Set Up](https://johnaugust.com/2016/my-writing-setup-2016)
* [Check out our Livestream Episodes](https://www.youtube.com/user/johnaugust)
* [No Writing Left Behind, Just Say No](https://www.wga.org/news-events/news/connect/when-it-comes-to-writing-left-behind-just-say-no)
* [State Copyright Laws Blackbeard](https://www.npr.org/2020/03/24/820381016/in-blackbeard-pirate-ship-case-supreme-court-scuttles-copyright-claims)
* [Scriptnotes, Ep 89: Writing Effective Transitions](https://johnaugust.com/2013/writing-effective-transitions)
* Sign up for Scriptnotes Premium [here](https://scriptnotes.supportingcast.fm/).
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Scott Anderson ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))
* Scriptnotes is produced by Megana Rao and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/446standard.mp3).

Highland 2.1 adds a lot of new functionality

August 17, 2018 Apps, Highland

Highland 2.1 showed up on the [Mac App Store](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/highland-2/id1171820258?mt=12) this afternoon. While it’s a “point one” release, it’s actually our tenth update since Highland 2 debuted in May.

The biggest change you’ll notice in 2.1 is our reorganized Preferences window, which now features four tabs.

general preferences

In General preferences, you can choose to exclude notes, synopses and boneyards from word counts in Statistics or the status bar.

documents prefs

In Document preferences, you can opt to have scene headers underlined.

Scene heading styles are a matter of personal taste. These days, most of my scripts are using single-spaced bold headings, but there’s no one right way.

We debated whether this pane should be “Document” or “Fountain” or “Screenplay.” We ended up going with Document with the expectation that there will likely be more document-focused settings to come, including ones that apply to Markdown.

international prefs

This is big news for screenwriters working in languages other than English. By default, Highland (and other Fountain-based apps) look for certain terms that have special meaning, including INT. and EXT. for scene headings and TO: for transitions. But of course, these are only conventions in English.

With Highland 2.1, writers can add to and amend these lists of terms, including times of day and MORE/CONT’D.

backup prefs

It’s always a good idea to backup your files in multiple locations and multiple ways. For me, the combination is Dropbox plus Time Machine.

In Highland 2.1, we added the ability to regularly back up your current documents in plain text. You can choose a backup folder — I created one on Dropbox — and rest assured that no matter what, there’s always a basic text version of your document stored somewhere.

It’s not an alternative to a consistent, system-wide backup plan, but it can provide a little extra peace of mind.

## Small bit of usefulness

While doing proofreading edits for the second Arlo Finch, I found myself needing to search for specific words a lot. Highland 2 uses the standard macOS Find and Replace system. It’s powerful, but it’s a little cumbersome for what I wanted. So we added **Quick Find**, which keeps your eyes on the screen and fingers on the keyboard.

quick find

We also added a similar **Jump To…** for quickly hopping around your document’s headers and markers.

Markers can also now be named. Just add a colon and a label: {{%m:label}} You’ll see more functionality with markers coming in future builds.

A few other bits of functionality were introduced in previous builds, some of which you might have missed.

{{SERIES}} inserts auto-incrementing numbers. This was really helpful for Arlo Finch, because I could write headers as

markup for SERIES directive

and have it automatically generate the chapter numbers.

screenshot of chapter in pdf

You can use {{SERIES}} for anything. For comic books, it’s a useful way to number panels.

{{TIMESTAMP}} inserts the date a document is previewed or printed (including in Fountain title pages). You can [customize the formatting](http://nsdateformatter.com).

We’ve also made two more templates available in the free Highland Basic version: Stage Play and MLA Report.

And if you’re a screenwriter, you owe it to yourself to download our free 40-page booklet on [Switching from Final Draft to Highland 2](https://quoteunquoteapps.com/highland-2/fd-to-h2-guide). It will quickly get you over any fears of leaving Final Draft, and show you some powerful techniques for getting the most out of Highland.

You can find Highland 2.1 on the [Mac App Store](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/highland-2/id1171820258?mt=12). If you’re enjoying the app, please consider leaving us a review!

Scriptnotes, Ep 349: Putting Words on the Page — Transcript

May 15, 2018 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2018/putting-words-on-the-page).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 349 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the show we’ll be talking about the tools we use to get things written. For me that’s Highland 2, the screenwriting app that is finally coming out of beta. But there’s also outlining and treatments and all the other peripheral things that writers write. We’ll be talking about that. We’ll also be answering questions from the huge stack that have piled up over the past few weeks.

But first, Craig, we have guests for our live show finally.

**Craig:** Oh, it’s going to be a good one. Now these live shows, these are the ones we do to benefit Hollywood Heart. These tend to be our kind of biggest live shows. These are the live shows where we’ve had our Rian Johnsons. And we’ve had our David Benioff and Dan Weisses. And we’ve had all sorts of big fancy–

**John:** Our Jason Bateman.

**Craig:** We got our Jason Batemans for these. And this one, no exception. Maybe honestly our best lineup yet.

**John:** So what I love about this lineup is they are people doing very different things but also kind of similar things when you think about it. So our guests are Lisa Joy and Jonah Nolan, they are the co-creators and showrunners of Westworld, an HBO show that is fantastic. It’s one of my favorite shows because I am a robot and therefore I am rooting for the robots.

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** But we didn’t stop there. We also invited Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely. They are the co-creators and showrunners of The Avengers franchise. So they are the folks who are writing the Captain America movies. They wrote the most recent Avengers movie, upcoming Avengers movie. So, we are going to be talking with all four of them about writing big cinematic stories that take place over multiple episodes that are hugely complicated that have spoilers and secrets. They’re under intense spotlights. I think it’s going to be a great conversation.

**Craig:** Just to point out that Christopher and Stephen, their movie Avengers: Infinity War I believe had the biggest opening weekend of any movie of all time.

**John:** Yes. So it is superlative in many senses. And I should stress that we are going to spoil things. So you’re buying a ticket that is three weeks from now, or a little less than three weeks from now when the episode comes out, so you’ve got to see the movie. You’ve got to understand what’s happening on Westworld because we are going to spoil things. So this is not going to be one of those like oh cover your ears. No, no. You are buying this knowing that we are going to spoil things.

**Craig:** Well, and if you are familiar with the Avengers movies and you’re familiar with Westworld, I’m going to go out on a limb and guarantee something, OK. Even if we have to cut it out of the actual episode that airs for all the poor saps that don’t show up, if you show up one of these folks is going to give you a piece of juicy info that you can’t get anywhere else.

**John:** Yeah. Right after we finish the show one of these four will pull us aside and say, “Can you please, please, please cut out the part where I said this thing?”

**Craig:** It’s inevitable. Happens every time.

**John:** And we will.

**Craig:** But if you’re there in the audience and remember this benefits kids, and I believe they’re nice children. I don’t think it benefits like jerks.

**John:** We only let the nice children benefit from these shows.

**Craig:** And so if you go to Scriptnotes.brownpapertickets.com, you can help these kids and also help yourself. And honestly even if Markus and McFeely hadn’t written the biggest movie of all time, and even if Joy and Nolan hadn’t written this incredible TV show, you would get to see me. Also John will be there. Yeah, no, John will be there.

**John:** I’ll be there as well. Yes.

**Craig:** But you’ll get to see me.

**John:** The show is May 22nd. It is at the ArcLight in Hollywood at 8pm. You cannot buy tickets through the ArcLight. You have to buy them through Scriptnotes.brownpapertickets.com. There’s also some special VIP tickets we found out about, so there’s going to be a little VIP after-party show thing. So if you want that that is a chance to talk with us and get more information about the things that were spoiled in the course of the episode.

**Craig:** I’m so excited.

**John:** I’m very, very excited about this. All right, next we have some follow up. So Jack wrote in about default white. Do you want to take what Jack wrote in?

**Craig:** Sure. Here we go. So he says, “I’ve worked in casting for more than ten years, both inside the company that releases the majority of the casting breakdowns for the industry, and as a casting director. Right now breakdowns are generally prepared in one of two ways. A casting director either submits a fully prepared breakdown ready for release, or production sends the script to the breakdown company where an in-house writer will read it and create the character breakdown which is then sent back for approval.

“If the character does not have a defined race in the script, the role is listed on the breakdown for all ethnicities.”

**John:** So this is a topic that Christina Hodson and I got into on Episode 346 which is basically how much should the screenwriter be defining who those characters are in the script so that the breakdown comes out the way you want it to. So, let’s continue with what Jack says.

**Craig:** So Jack says, “Once the breakdown is released, agents and actors begin submitting. The casting director will receive an overwhelming number of white submissions for ‘all ethnicity roles.’ Part of the reason is because the database of actors is primarily white. Another part of the reason is that agents will always submit their ‘best’ first. That’s defined as the people who will make them the most money. These actors have historically been white. And, finally, casting directors will reach out to actors they know and trust first, again mostly white.

“So if the role is ‘all ethnicities,’ chances are very good that a white person will be hired. There is no conspiracy here. No effort to deny anybody anything. It’s just people doing what is familiar and easy. I understand that it is uncomfortable to define race. If you select one race you are eliminating all others, including white, and that’s not fair. But the reality is that the odds are stacked against people of color. That’s not an opinion. It’s a numerical fact.

“If, however, a writer defines a character as Asian, agents will submit Asian talent. Casting directors will audition Asian talent. Producers will hire Asian talent. It’s that simple. Those best lists will start to change as more people of color are hired. If you cannot bring yourself to define your lead roles, please consider at least defining your day players. Describing that under-five lines’ Chatty Waitress as Asian will make a difference. And why not throw in Over 40 while you’re at it.

“There’s a Japanese actor who hasn’t had an audition all month who will thank you.”

All right, well that’s a pretty good summary there. What do you think about all that, John?

**John:** I thought it was great. So first off, we have fantastic listeners. So, Jack, thank you for writing in with that because that is a perspective we wouldn’t have known. So, telling us basically how breakdowns are happening and urging us as writers to just be more explicit on race because it does actually make a difference.

Now sometimes I’ll say that if we define a race in a script we can get called out for it. Basically like why are you being so specific? This gives us some ammunition on our side for why it is useful to be so specific for races in scripts because it’s going to help change things a bit.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s another axis that I want to bring up just because it often gets overshadowed in the discussion about race and gender. We have something like 108 speaking parts in Chernobyl. There’s a lot. And everybody – every character – is a citizen of the Soviet Union from one of the many various republics, but primarily we’re talking about Ukrainians and Russians and Belarusians. And because we’re casting out of the UK and Scandinavia, one of the inherent biases in casting came up immediately. And that was that actors tend to be really good-looking. So when we talk about sort of historical biases, actors – both men and women – tend to be people that are attractive, they have facial symmetry, they have good hair. They don’t have – well, the quirkier facial features that you see in what we’ll call just regular people. And, of course, they are typically in good shape.

And for us we thought a lot of this is about having believable people as part of this cast. And that doesn’t mean that we’re saying we wanted a cast of people that are not attractive. It’s not about that. But it’s rather we want a spectrum of people and we’re not going to allow traditional facial attraction be our definition of what attractive is. Nor are we going to limit ourselves to certain body types. So I think as we’re writing and we’re listening to people like Jack telling us how this actually works, how the food is cooked in the kitchen so to speak, to think about body type as well and facial types. Even things like hair and hair color. All these things – anything to kind of add some flavor and get yourself out of a lot of these default positions.

You know, if we kind of come up with a bunch of defaults, let’s start pushing against them where we think it will help us out and, I don’t know, set us apart a little bit.

**John:** Yeah. Another way to sort of reach beyond sort of the usual people that we’re always seeing for these kind of things might be to early on bring in some folks who are interesting for a project. I’m really more talking for the writer-directors out there. But Mike Birbiglia when he was doing his movies he does these table readings – not even table readings, just like sit around in his apartment reading through the script. And it’s a useful process for him to hear his script and figure it out. But I think it’s also useful for getting a sense of what if we tried to mix things up. What if I tried some different people in these roles? What if I consider this actor who sort of seems like a reach or a stretch for this, but I can see what they can actually bring to that role?

This last week I was at a table reading for Alan Yang’s new script. And he brought in these actors who were fantastic. And it was a chance for them all to sort of hear each other and for everyone in the room to sort of experience these actors. And I made notes of some of these actors who I never would have encountered before. And like, wow, I want to write something for that person because they are great.

So, just reaching out and broadening past the first instinct on casting can be a great thing. And that can start by what you’re specifically saying about that character in the script.

**Craig:** No question. By the way, funny, I went to one of those readings in Mike Birbiglia’s place and one of the roles was being read by this lovely gentleman, he was an older guy, and he seemed familiar to me and his voice seemed familiar. But I don’t think he’s an actor, so I think he might just be a friend. But he did such a good job and I just thought, “Wow, Mike Birbiglia is so lucky that he just has a friend who is like a 65-year-old guy who is just really good at being a guy at a table read.” And then afterwards I found out it was Frank Oz. [laughs]

**John:** [laughs] That’s awesome.

**Craig:** Because I didn’t know exactly what Frank Oz looked like. You know, I know what he sounds like. I know that he’s Miss Piggy and that he’s Yoda and Grover. And obviously he’s a wonderful filmmaker, an amazing filmmaker. And I was just like “This guy is so great. I wonder who he is. Oh, he’s Frank Oz, one of the greatest filmmakers of all time.”

And another interesting story like the one you were just describing with Alan’s table reading was a table reading that we had all the way back in 2003 for Scary Movie 3. And when you are pretty early on and you’re still casting a lot of times casting agents will help you fill your round table by bringing in actors that are just there to read for the roundtable. That’s it. And this young actor that no one had ever heard of named Kevin Hart showed up. And we thought Kevin was just the funniest guy. And I was like let’s just make him – this guy is him. Let’s just keep writing it for him. And so we cast him in Scary Movie 3, and in Scary Movie 4, and in Superhero Movie. He’s just great.

And it was all because he just was sort of a fill in guy in 2003 at a table reading.

**John:** Yeah. I think what’s nice about table readings is the stakes are just lower. Because if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, and the world doesn’t come crashing to an end. And it’s a chance to experiment and play a bit. And so I always wonder about sort of you don’t want actors to be exploited by being brought in for table reads where they’re not actually going to be able to land that part maybe. But what you described with Kevin Hart is a great example of you got to know who he was just because of that table reading. And that’s a great bit of exposure.

**Craig:** And they’re aware of the deal. They are told, listen they’re not offering you this part. This is just a show up for the day, make a few hundred bucks, get some exposure in front of some people that are making movies, and that’s it. No promises beyond that. And it’s not surprising to me that Kevin did that because he is just, I know from my own work with him but also just watching him do everything since, he’s like one of those guys that fits the hardest working man in show business category. He never stops. He’s just amazing that way.

So, that’s all pretty great. Just, you know, as people go through this and they’re writing their scripts if they can just think about – I love what Jack said about day players, too. It’s not just the big parts. That you have these roles where people run into a waiter, or a bus driver, or a delivery person and the default is going to be, oh, that’s an incredibly handsome or beautiful waiter or delivery person. But then it almost weirdly takes you out of things. I mean, Hollywood distorts the way people actually look. People don’t look like they do in movies. At all. They look how they look. You know? So what’s wrong with kind of edging back towards that reality? I like that.

**John:** It’s a nice thing.

Our final little bit of follow up on race and ethnicity is you had talked in a previous episode that you and Megan Amram are distant cousins. You found out through 23andMe. I just got my 23andMe back. So we just checked to see whether we are related and sadly we are not.

**Craig:** Well, I mean, to start with I’m an organic life form.

**John:** That’s true.

**Craig:** It was not likely.

**John:** It was going to be a reach. It would be a surprise.

**Craig:** It would have been a real shock. Also I’m Jew-y as hell. And you are not.

**John:** I’m not. So I’m 100% European and British and Irish and French and German. We are on different Haplogroups coming out of Africa. And I am slightly more Neanderthal than you are. That’s sort of a surprise.

**Craig:** I like that. I like that you’re slightly more Neanderthal. I feel that. I got to be honest with you. I sense sometimes there’s a certain kind of club you on the head rage just lurking behind your eyes. I am also 100% European, like you. I am 98% Ashkenazi Jewish. That is incredibly Jewish. That is almost like a weaponized level of Judaism.

I am 0.6% random Eastern European. So perhaps a Lithuanian in my past. And then I love this 1.1% broadly European, so from everywhere. And then 0.1% Finnish.

**John:** Oh nice.

**Craig:** Oh I like that.

**John:** I love that Finnish is so specific. Yes.

**Craig:** It is. The Finnish language is very specific. Related to the Estonian language, interestingly enough. But I like that I’m just a little bit Finnish.

**John:** Mm-hmm. Nice.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So I sent through my 23andMe kit a couple weeks ago and in the meantime they caught the Golden State Killer basically using this genetic information, which does give me some pause about like, “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Now my genetic information is in a database someplace and they’ll be able to track me down when I do something horrible.” Or not something horrible. That information could be used in ways that I would not like. So that does give me some pause now.

**Craig:** You know, I realize now at my age, and you and I are basically the same age, that our time for doing terrible things is essentially over. I think we would have been doing them, right?

**John:** I could have been doing them the whole time and just blacked them out.

**Craig:** There’s no maybe about that. That’s for sure.

**John:** People are either going to be nodding along or slightly horrified. Sometimes when you hear about a murder do you ever get that little moment like, “Wait, did I do that?”

**Craig:** Oh no. No, John. I don’t. And nobody does except for murderers. I am one of the people that is just starring in horror right now at my own microphone. [laughs] Because you hear about murders and go, “Oh, was that one of mine? Did I do that one?”

**John:** Yeah. Did I do that one? No.

**Craig:** God.

**John:** For the record I have committed no murders that I’m aware of. But I always do wonder what if I’m that character in a movie who has no idea that they’re actually the villain?

**Craig:** If I am that character my villainy is definitely sort of like petty nonsense. Removing the tags from furniture before it is sold. That kind of thing.

**John:** I have seen you sneaking into bedding stores and cutting off those tags.

**Craig:** Oh, that just sent a frisson down my spine in delight.

**John:** Let’s get back to our Neanderthal things because I am a toolmaker and I have a tool that–

**Craig:** Segue Man.

**John:** Yes. That just came out – well, this week it’s coming out. So it may be out by the time this episode drops. It might be out Thursday of the week this drops. But for the last three years we’ve been working on a sequel to Highland, the screenwriting app my company makes. Highland 2 is still a screenwriting app, but it also does a lot more things. It’s what I wrote both Arlo Finch books in. It’s what I wrote Aladdin in. It’s pretty much the only thing that’s ever open all the time on my computer.

And it’s finally available for people to use and download. And so I want to talk a little bit about that and sort of why I built it and why I love it. But more generally sort of like what stuff we actually use to get things written. Because you’ve talked on the program about Fade In which is your preferred screenwriting app. But I’ve never actually asked you what do you use to write treatments and outlines and the peripheral documents that you’re doing for things like Chernobyl. What are you using for that?

**Craig:** It’s a little embarrassing, but I use Word.

**John:** Oh my.

**Craig:** I know. And the thing is I know I don’t have to. I’ve got Pages for instance which is the Apple version. It’s just become this sort of thing. And especially now, I’m such an idiot because I’m on the stupid Office 365 thing now where now I’m apparently renting software and I can’t even buy it. But when I do treatments and like the show bible for Chernobyl, I did it in Word. Possibly just because I have some sort of blah-de-blah kind of familiarity with it. And unfortunately I do get a ton of stuff in .docx format. I presume that these other applications open .docx files with ease. But, you know, then you’ve got to export it back out I guess for other people. So that part’s annoying.

**John:** Yeah. So I would say Word is sort of the default. I mean, sort of like we talked about casting default white, it’s sort of default Word. So for things that aren’t a screenplay it becomes sort of default Word. And even for Arlo Finch I turn in all my early drafts as PDFs and I get notes back on the PDF. But at a certain point it goes into copy editing and I have to turn in the book in Word. And it’s just so horrifying because a thing I hadn’t really realized until these last two passes on Arlo Finch and having to convert the document is Word is really slow. Word is really slow at long documents. Not even just converting it, but actually opening it and scrolling through it, it lags even on a fast machine.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** I’ll put a link to the video. I did in a speed test I downloaded from Project Gutenberg the text of War and Peace. And I opened them in Word, iaWriter which is a plain text editor, Pages, and in Highland 2. How long do you think it would take to open War and Peace in Word? Just a plain text document.

**Craig:** Um, what’s my benchmark here? A MacBook Pro?

**John:** A recent iMac desktop computer.

**Craig:** That’s a pretty good computer. Well, just knowing the way it is with all the dumb baloney it has that you never use, I’m going to say it takes eight seconds.

**John:** It took six minutes and ten seconds.

**Craig:** Wait, what?

**John:** There’s a link here in the video for it. It took so long that I actually ended up putting a little marker in the video so people can speed through to where it gets done. It’s crazy.

**Craig:** That’s insane.

**John:** So Pages took 47 seconds. iaWriter takes a minute ten. Highland opens in less than eight seconds. And that’s what it should be.

**Craig:** Whoa.

**John:** I mean, it’s just text. It should just be able to speed through it. And that’s – and Arlo Finch is only 80,000 words, but when you deal with big documents you realize like, man, that is just brutally slow.

**Craig:** It is brutally slow.

**John:** It’s just not a good way to work.

**Craig:** I presume it’s because Microsoft Word is bloatware. I mean, it’s the definition of bloatware. It’s essentially offering you every possible freaking thing that you would ever theoretically need and then some. And so it’s got to chug all the text into its own proprietary burdened/over-burdened document format with all of the metadata that it’s generating.

I mean, Microsoft Word is – I find it useful when I’m dealing with tracking.

**John:** That’s the only reason why we have to do the Arlo Finch last changes in it, because it has this track changes and the copy editor will change things and I’ll say yes or I’ll rewrite them or I’ll stet them. And that’s a process, but brutal. Just brutal.

**Craig:** Yeah. Wow. That’s really freaking long. So maybe I should get Highland 2. And how much does that cost, John?

**John:** Highland 2 is a free download.

**Craig:** What?

**John:** And if you like it then it’s a $49 in-app purchase to unlock everything, or $29 for the first week. So it is a much cheaper application. And it’s a one-time purchase. It’s not rental.

**Craig:** So if I buy it today it’s $30.

**John:** If you buy it today it’s $30.

**Craig:** I’m buying it right now. It is on the store?

**John:** It will be on the Mac App Store.

**Craig:** It is on the App Store right now? It is available now?

**John:** Not as we’re recording this, but it will be either by the time the episode comes out or afterwards. But I sent you an unlocked version. So you already have it.

**Craig:** Oh. I should really go through my emails.

**John:** We talked in the episode before on conflict of interest, and this is so clearly I need to disclose a conflict of interest because I’m talking about this thing that I love but also I’m the company that makes it and profits from it. So, full conflict of interest disclaimers here. But I want to talk about why the app is the way it is because it’s just basically I wanted the app a certain way and it’s very particular to sort of my taste in how things should be. But there are also just tools in there that were useful for me.

So, here’s an example. Craig, as you’re working through stuff if you have things you want to cut but you want to hold on to what do you do with those things? Like a scene or a line of dialogue?

**Craig:** Sure. So I used to take that scene or dialogue, open a new file, for instance in Fade In, and then dump it into a new file, retitle that something, some descriptive word, and snip it and keep it in the same folder. But now Fade In, because I asked Kent to do it and he just did it because he’s a cool guy. Now there’s this kind of versioning alt system where I can create an Alt within the document itself, and so it’s holding it there.

**John:** So you’re just doing that for dialogue or you’re doing alts for like a scene?

**Craig:** I can do it for anything. But yeah, if there’s a scene that I’m like oh, you know what, this doesn’t belong in this episode anymore. I’ll just kind of alt it out. So it’s in there but it’s not visible or printable. I have options but that’s kind of what I do.

**John:** So for me I was always frustrated that when you use video editing software you have a bin where you can just throw all the little clips and bits and bobs and stuff. And so we added that for Highland 2.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** So you can take any bit of text and just drag it over to the side and it sticks in a bin. And it holds there. So it’s useful for those things you want to hold onto, but it’s also good when you need to rearrange a lot of stuff. Because I’m sure you’ve been in situations where you have to move this scene and this scene and that scene and the copying and pasting of it all becomes quite ornate, because you have to remember what is going where, where are things.

So this way you can just drag that scene over to the bin, then move it and drag it back out where you want to do it. So it’s useful for sort of the rearranging function as well.

**Craig:** I like that. Here’s the truth. There are times in my life where I suddenly go, “Oh my god, if I don’t break out of this rut of some tool, like Microsoft Word, I’m just going to become the annoying person for my kids when they’re an adult.” Like I had to get my mother-in-law off of AOL. And I failed.

But, yeah, I don’t want Jack and Jessie to be like, “Oh god, Dad still uses Microsoft Word. It’s embarrassing.” So maybe I’m just going to switch over and use Highland for like–

**John:** Yeah, use it for that stuff first. And then if you like it for that stuff you might try writing some scenes in Highland. See if you like how it feels for that. Because it’s just very different underneath your fingers.

**Craig:** Now I’m very dizzy.

**John:** So two other tools which I think you might find useful, even if you’re not using it fulltime. Highland’s sort of big marquee feature when we first launched it, version 1.0, was that you can take a screenplay PDF, drag it onto Highland, and it will basically melt the PDF down and give you an editable script.

And so since we did that, I think Fade In can do that.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** Final Draft still can’t do it. We’re still the best, and I’ll say that pretty confidently, because between Highland and Weekend Read we just do it a lot. So we just have a much bigger database of how to work through those scripts and so our algorithms are just sort of tighter on that.

But a thing we added for this most recent version, which is also fun for people to play with, is gender analysis. And so you can take a script you’re working on, a Final Draft script, a PDF, anything and throw it on Highland and underneath Tools there’s a new tool called Gender Analysis. And so it goes through your script, it takes a look at all the characters. You can flag them whether they are male/female/or undefined. And it will give you a chart showing the breakdown of the dialogue in the script, who has the lines, whether two female characters are interacting with each other in any scenes.

**Craig:** Ah, the Bechdel Test section.

**John:** Yes. And so it gives you a quick look at sort of what that is. So two scripts I looked at recently, first was La La Land. And so where do you think the breakdown is going to be for La La Land? Do you think it’s going to be equal male/female? What are you guessing?

**Craig:** I’m going to say that La La Land edged toward female.

**John:** You are correct. So character wise, La La Land has 20 male characters, 11 female characters. I left ten unspecified. These are people like waiter or things that are just not necessarily clear or it doesn’t have to be one way or the other. But in the actual dialogue spoken it was basically even. Men had 49% of the lines, women had 48% of the lines. When you actually look at words spoken, which Highland can also track, it’s exactly equal. So 49%/49%. That’s a pretty useful thing.

If you take a look at Thor, 2011 Thor, what would you guess the split is there?

**Craig:** It’s going to be weighted quite male.

**John:** Yeah. You are correct. 70% of the lines spoken are by men. So even though there’s two female characters – well, there’s more than two – but there’s two principal female characters in Thor, it’s Thor and he does most of the speaking.

**Craig:** Oh, god, wait until you run Chernobyl through this thing.

**John:** Well, you can.

**Craig:** Well, I could tell you what the answer is. I mean, we’re talking about a situation in a male-dominated society in a power plant full of men and an army full of men. We’ve tried to put women everywhere we can. We really have. We’ve made the best of what we can. We’re also like weirdly by definition the whitest show that’s ever existed because they were all white.

But what I really like about this is in a sense the value that you’re providing with this feature may be in the use of the feature rather than the output of the feature. Just having to do it forces you to think about it and you might even start changing things before you even do it just because you kind of know what you’re in for if you haven’t really, you know, kind of thought it through right.

**John:** Yeah. So I wanted it to be sort of not a scolding kind of thing but actually a tool you can use along the way. So because you can click and change a character from male to female you can say like, “Well, what if I took this character and made it female. Oh, that actually does balance things out a lot more.” Or if you see that the chart is just wildly off and it doesn’t feel like you’re making a Chernobyl where it’s very difficult to adjust those things you might say, “Oh, this is a thing I could do to get you through this.”

This all came from, you know, over the past year there have been these big studies of going back through past scripts and you talk to them about how they actually did it and they were going through and hand-coding all this stuff to figure out whether things are male or female and counting lines individually. That’s something computers should do.

**Craig:** Agreed.

**John:** So we’re doing it.

**Craig:** Excellent.

**John:** Excellent. What are you using for outlining or do you outline?

**Craig:** I do. Oh, yes.

**John:** I started using Workflowy for some outlining stuff, but what are you using for outlines?

**Craig:** Microsoft Word. [laughs] Well, so–

**John:** All right.

**Craig:** Again, one of the things I actually like about Microsoft Word is when I’m doing a proper outline it does have a very simple kind of scheme to roman numeral to number one to letter to little roman numeral. It kind of does that for you. And it does that well with tab and return.

And then sometimes I might make an outline where I just go Act One, and then it’s 1….and then the next 2. And it does lists automatically. And if I go back and stick something between 2 and 3 it knows to bump everything down. So things like that kind of make it easy so that’s what I do for that stuff.

**John:** Yeah. I’ve started using Workflowy which is what we use for our podcast outlines. For some of that stuff and also just making lists of these are the things I need to make sure I fix in this next pass of Arlo Finch.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** I like it. I don’t love it. It’s not my sort of most favorite tool. So I think I’m still looking for an outliner. Inevitably I’ll probably have the company build it for me, but I’m still looking for a thing I really like for that.

**Craig:** Put Nima to work, you know? He’s just sitting around with nothing to do. Let’s go, Nima.

**John:** Absolutely. A thing we haven’t talked about at all so far is Final Draft. So, if you want to hear the history of John and Craig and Final Draft you can go back to the one with the episode, the one with the guys from Final Draft.

I had to use Final Draft this past year for – I did a small little rewrite on a superhero movie that was in production. And so there was no getting out of just dealing with the Final Draft file they sent. And so I could have converted it and like, nope, it was going to make everything much worse if I tried. So, I did it in Final Draft with revisions on. It reminded me of why Final Draft is so maddening.

**Craig:** So bad.

**John:** To try to move stuff around, it was just not a good experience.

**Craig:** Ugh, the worst. I just went through it myself. I was rewriting something. The director had written a draft and was asking me to do a new draft. And I just needed to stay in Final Draft for them. And, first of all, you feel like you’re going back in time.

**John:** Yep.

**Craig:** For sure. There were moments where I would delete something, or I would say, “Oh you know what I’m going to do, I’m going to take this line of dialogue here. It’s the second sentence of this dialogue block and I’m going to actually add it in front of the first sentence of this” and it thinks, “Oh, you’re trying to make a character name that’s 14 words long.” And I’m like, what? Why would you think that’s what I want to do? Why would you think that? Who adds things onto a character’s name with cut and paste? It’s the dumbest – oh god.

**John:** Yeah. So in general I find trying – after working in Highland I get really frustrated sort of going back to that stuff because it is – every line has a definition of like what it is and you’ve had to declare like this is a character name, this is dialogue. And it’s not doing any logic about what could you actually be intending here.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And that just gets really frustrating. And sometimes trying to delete across things gets to be hard because–

**Craig:** The worst.

**John:** Because you’re in different spaces. Or you get stuck in a parenthetical.

**Craig:** Oh, that’s another thing. You delete a bunch of stuff and then it just changes the format of what comes next. Why would it do that? Why would any – oh my god! What’s wrong with you, Final Draft? Why do you do that?

**John:** Yeah. It is maddening. And so these are some of the reasons I made Highland 2. If you want to see it and download it it’s for the Mac. It should be on the Mac App Store this week as we are recording this. So, I hope people enjoy it.

**Craig:** I think that’s fantastic. And I have just downloaded – now I have the beta. But, you know what John? I’m kind of beta. I’m OK with it.

**John:** [laughs] I’ll get you a magic unlock code so you can get the full power version. I will say one last thing about pricing on it is that we were trying to figure out what to price it at. And so the reason why we went from $30 to free because I wanted just a lot of people to be able to use it and try it. And we always had problems where like schools would say, “Oh hey, we want to install it on all of our school computers.” And then it was like, ugh, like we couldn’t find – you had to make a special version for them. It just got to be a whole deal.

So I wanted students to be able to use it for free. It prints a little watermark saying Made in Highland, but otherwise it’s the full app. So I wanted people to be able to try it.

**Craig:** Great.

**John:** So we’re going broad.

**Craig:** Well, I’m rooting for you.

**John:** All right. Let’s do some questions. Noah writes, “I’ve just been reading William Goldman’s screenplays lately and it’s hard not to take note of his formatting, in particular how he writes his scene headings. He doesn’t use INT or EXT, nor does he use day or night. Just whomever or whatever he’s directing the camera to focus on. It’s aggravating when I think about the times I’ve been instructed how to properly format while writing and then see Mr. Goldman’s work.

“There’s even a spot in Princess Bride where a scene heading is Something We Hadn’t Expected, on page 64. When I read that I laughed and swore out loud. But honestly what’s an aspiring writer to do when he’s trying to get the form right and yet he reads that?”

**Craig:** Here’s the truth. Noah, if you write like William Goldman then you just write whatever you want. William Goldman, I suspect when he was writing, as we sometimes write as like service people, you know, so you and I will be hired to help on something and then like we were using Final Draft because that’s what the production was using. When you help you stay in their format. I don’t think William Goldman was unaware of the format. But when William Goldman is adapting his own novel, The Princess Bride, into a screenplay The Princess Bride, he can write whatever the hell he wants.

And it’s also a different situation. That’s a situation where it’s sort of like, “Hey, let’s all make a movie together with this incredibly highly accomplished screenwriter adapting his own novel.” It doesn’t matter. And the truth is none of it really matters anyway. Even if you’re not William Goldman, you’re not adapting your own famous novel, and you haven’t written anything, if you write some amazing – if I just pick up your script, I open the first page, and the first three lines are gorgeous, I don’t care. In fact, at that point if you’ve just decided to reinvent the format entirely what do I care? The most important thing is as I’m reading it I have to ask this question: can I shoot this? Right?

And if you can shoot it, then it works. Something we hadn’t expected is shootable. It’s actually really interesting information. You and I say this stuff until we’re blue in the face and it doesn’t really matter. We are essentially just howling at the moon because there are a million people out there who undo the work that we do on a daily basis. Go, John, just wander over to Reddit screenwriting and witness the weekly conversation about how no one should ever write “we see”. It just blows my mind and there’s nothing we can do to stop it except to just say to those of you out there willing to come along in faith and trust us, this stuff is not that important. OK? It’s just not

If you’re writing a screenplay, probably you’re going to want to stay in the format that everybody is comfortable with. But if you want to experiment a little, or if you want to just pick a moment, a sequence in your screenplay where something wild is happening and you want to unmoor yourself from this stuff, go for it. Be creative. Have some fun for god’s sakes. This is a dumb format invented for stupid typewriters in 1920. You know what I mean? Whatever. Go nuts.

**John:** Yeah. So I would say what is important about the standard formatting is there’s just an expectation. And it’s simple and it’s clean and people sort of get it. And so the degree to which you can just stay in the format that everyone already gets, basically it’s free. Like INT and EXT and all that stuff just come for free and people don’t even notice it anymore, which is useful. So as long as you’re just doing the stuff that nobody notices they’ll actually read your words.

If you are doing something that’s really weird and strangely formatted and it doesn’t seem like you know what you’re doing and you don’t seem confident and it doesn’t seem like this is going to be worth their time, that’s when you have a problem if you’re doing strange formatting stuff. So just write brilliantly and then your formatting just won’t matter as much.

**Craig:** Yeah. I mean, look, 99% of people are going to write a bad screenplay and then it doesn’t matter if it’s properly formatted or not. And 1% are going to write to write a great screenplay and it doesn’t matter if it’s properly formatted or not. That’s basically my attitude about this.

**John:** Do you want to take a question from Lee?

**Craig:** Yeah. Sure. Lee writes, “I wrote a dark comedy horror. A guy, someone I know at a management company, liked it and thought it worked as a sample for a director who wants a co-writer on a project he’s already got sketched out. I had a call yesterday. The director is sending a beat sheet my way next week. Question number one: any advice on how to write a draft from someone else’s beat sheet?

“Question number two: they also like the piece I originally sent and seemed like they may be interested putting that together, too, if I can deliver on this one. Any general advice for a person in my situation? I want to take full advantage of this opportunity.

“And, question number three: what should I look out for misstep or danger wise?”

John, we’ve got one, two, three. What’s your answer for Lee?

**John:** My answer for Lee is that the thing that you’re thinking about doing with the director, great. And go with god and try to basically sit down with that person, figure out if there is a common vision for this movie that you’d be writing I guess together. He’s already got this beat sheet. If you agree with the approach of the movie that probably goes beyond just what this beat sheet is, I say go for it. You don’t have a lot to lose from working with somebody who probably already has some stuff happening.

In terms of this management company may want to represent you on this script, that’s great. And so I would just say let that be a separate thread of your relationship with this management company and this manager. They may not be signing you right away as this whole process begins, but get their honest feedback to see if you could work with them as a management company. And let those two things sort of go separately.

A question will naturally come up like if you do decide to write this thing with the director are you guys just working on this together? Is this your joint project? Is that person hiring you? That you’re going to have to figure out. But it’s not quite clear yet how real any of these things are.

**Craig:** Well, yes. So it says that the director wants a cowriter on a project he’s already got sketched out. So, with that in mind I think one thing to look out for, Lee, is you’ve received a beat sheet, but a beat sheet is not tablets from the top of Mount Sinai. It’s a beat sheet. And if you’re going to be a cowriter, you’re a cowriter. That means you’re an equal writer. And that means you don’t have to go down this path if you don’t quite get it.

It’s fair to say, “OK, I’ve read your beat sheet. Let’s just have some conversations. Let’s start talking about this. If we’re going to write together, let’s feel these things out. And let me tell you what I’m loving. And then I have a bunch of questions I want to ask.” That’s the way I always pose, by the way, I don’t talk about problems. I talk about questions. And sort of take that beat sheet and make a new beat sheet that is instead of His, Ours.

And then talk about how the writing is going to work before the writing happens. How does he see that happening? You do ten, I do ten, we swap? Or we sit in a room together? Here’s what you don’t want. “Oh, you’ll write a first draft and I’ll just come and sprinkle some of my magic dust on it.” That’s not actually co-writing.

**John:** That’s not writing, yeah.

**Craig:** That’s something else. So if that’s a situation then it’s story by the two of you, screenplay by you, directed by him. So these are things that are just good to work out. Do not rely on the manager to advocate for you here. If the manager is representing the director then the manager will advocate for the director. You’re going to have to advocate for yourself. Gently, but firmly.

**John:** Yep. And good luck. Again, let us know a year from now what’s happened with this. I’m really curious what happens next.

**Craig:** Perfect.

**John:** Nick writes, “I recently finished the first episode of a TV show I’m writing. When I started the second episode I realized I didn’t know if I needed to re-highlight or capitalize the name of the first appearance of already established characters from the first episode in the second episode. Is this something I need to do or can I just leave them un-highlighted or un-capitalized?”

Craig, what would you do? What are you doing in Chernobyl? In Episode two, the first time we see one of those recurring characters are you upper-casing his name?

**Craig:** No. I uppercase the name just the first time we see them in the first episode. I don’t re-uppercase because it just seems silly. But, you could. I don’t think it would be – I mean, in the end what we’re really talking about is one instance of capitalizing, so do it or don’t do it. Generally speaking, no one is going to read the second episode if they didn’t like the first, which means they’ve seen this character and they read about them. No one is going to pick up the second one without reading the first. So there’s no concern there.

Hey, you know something I didn’t know, John? I’ve learned so many things about television all at once because I had to. So, they asked me to number the scripts. Obviously this is quite some time ago. Put scene numbers on. And so I put scene numbers on each script and we had this for all. And then eventually when we had our first AD on he said, “You know, we generally start like in episode three the first scene is scene 301, not 1.” Well, I didn’t know that.

**John:** That would make sense.

**Craig:** I did not know that. And it’s a very simple thing to do in any normal screenwriting program. But it’s so useful. And like, duh. I didn’t know. Silly me.

**John:** So even if you end up moving a scene from one episode to another episode, like that scene 302 might end up in episode two for some reason in post, but it was 302. That makes a lot of sense.

I have two things I want to address with Nick’s question here. So, first off, I want to distinguish the type [unintelligible] he wants to distinguish between capitalization and uppercase. Capitalization is the first letter of a word being capitalized. So you can say “all caps,” but really uppercase would be the better way to describe when everything is the capital letters.

Uppercase of course comes from typography where in old middle type there were two cases, the case above, the case below. The case above had all the uppercase letters. The case below had all the lowercase letters. The capitals and the lowercase. I just think it’s neat that it was actually a physical case.

In terms of uppercasing the names in that script, I bet different series do different things. And I can imagine some series, their house rules are that the first time a character appears in any given episode you uppercase it so you know that’s the first time we’re seeing that character. I bet other shows don’t do it all, more like what Craig is doing with Chernobyl.

**Craig:** Yeah. In the end – you’ll be fine, Nick. Don’t you worry.

Oh, Colin O’Connor tweets – oh, I like this, he’s tweeting. “Do you have good advice for interesting characters who are onscreen but not important yet? How about intro-ing during a heavy action scene when a character is important but you don’t want to take a break from the urgency of the scene?”

All right, so you get what he’s going for here, John, right?

**John:** Absolutely. So basically you’re trying to plant some sort of flag saying like pay attention but not too much attention to this character because we’re going to come back to this person later. Sometimes you’ll end up saying kind of that. Where it’s just like obviously you’re uppercasing their name because it’s the first time we’re seeing them. I would give the quick description and like, comma, becomes important later. Just because you want to clue into the reader like this is the first appearance of that character and it’s helpful if you remember that he existed there.

The scene in which the character is actually doing something important, you may want to actually then do the bigger description of who that person is if you didn’t want to break the flow of the action beat for example to put in a real character description of that person.

**Craig:** Absolutely. There’s a character at the end of episode four that we meet in the middle of just the final bits of that episode. And there’s no dialogue or anything. We’re just moving around, sort of a montage of different people and different places and we haven’t seen him before. And he’s going to be a big part of episode five. I’m sorry, it’s the end of three, he’s going to be a big part of episode four. And I just write here’s a young man, he’s 21, and then in parentheses “we will see him again.” That’s all.

So, OK.

**John:** Classic.

**Craig:** And then we do. So that’s all. You know, in general, I have to say folks not that – we love all these questions. We love all questions. But you know just general common sense in a weird way. Not that you guys don’t have common sense. I think you do. I think the problem is so many of you are scared of your own common sense because the screenwriting amateur net has freaked you out that you are running through some sort of minefield and your script is going to explode in your face and shrapnel everywhere if you miscapitalize or don’t introduce somebody. It’s not like that at all.

In general, I think you should take some good deep breaths. These things will never kill you. Never.

**John:** Yep. Our final question comes from Josh in Seattle. He says, “I’m reading the script for Logan in Weekend Read and I’m curious if there’s a term for the establishing material that writers insert on page two after the first instance of violence. Here’s the quote, ‘Now might be a good time to talk about the ‘fights’ described in the next 100 or so pages. Basically, if you want a hyper-choreographed gravity-defying, city block destroying CG F-athon, this isn’t your movie. In this flick people will get hurt or killed when shit falls on them. They will get just as hurt or just as killed if they get hit with something big and heavy like say a car. Should anyone in our story have the misfortune to fall off a roof or out a window, they won’t bounce. They will die.’

“I’ve never encountered this type of contextual prose in a script but I really liked it when I read it. Can a first-time screenwriter get away with this type of technique in a screenplay? Are you aware of other examples of this type of creative license?”

**Craig:** No, you can’t. I forgot to mention this is the one mine that if you step on this you will explode. Your family will die. Your pets will drown. Even if they’re not near water. And children all over the world will have nightmares.

You can do whatever – ugh. So, there’s a paragraph that I did like this for Cowboy, Ninja, Viking because it’s a weird concept and you have to explain the cinematic language of what’s going on. When I call the character this, when I call the character this, this is what you’re seeing, this is what you’re feeling. It’s just description. It’s like an aside, essentially.

In journalism sometimes you’ll see a parenthesis and then N.B. for nota bene, meaning here’s a note from the author to you on how to read this. You can do that. I tend to put these things in all italics to discriminate between onscreen action and, oh, I’m talking to you.

Let me rephrase your question, Josh, so I can give you a different answer. Can a first-time screenwriter get away with blank? The answer to you is yes.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** Put anything you want in the blank.

**John:** 100% yes.

**Craig:** That is legal. That does not violate laws. Yes.

**John:** Nice. All right. It’s time for our One Cool Things. My One Cool Thing came out of a sort of YouTube hole I fell down in. I’m doing some research for a period movie I may be working on. My first period movie, actually. I’m not a big period movie person. But this thing that I might be working on takes place in the ‘50s. And so I was looking at a bunch of ‘50s videos and I came across this video called Welcome to Southern California.

It is produced by the Santa Fe Railroad. It is a tourism video about how great Southern California is. And I’m going to play one little clip here because I found it absolutely fascinating.

[Clip plays]

So I find this pronunciation of the city I live in, Los Angeles, I pronounce this Los Angeles. And it’s like who is this person talking? And then as you do more research you realize like, oh, that actually was a very common pronunciation of the city at the time. And so obviously this is a Spanish name. It’s been converted a bunch of different times. We’ve finally come to a consensus that it’s Los Angeles. But at this time there was a real controversy over how to pronounce the city. And the pronunciation in this video, which is Los Angle-ease was really common. And it’s just really strange that a city that I’ve lived in all this time is that way.

I also love that he puts four syllables in California. Cali-for-nee-ah.

**Craig:** I know. I love that.

**John:** Cal-eh-for-nee-ah. Oh, five syllables. I’m sorry. California. It’s just so odd. And so he does it through the entire video. And so it’s just so funny – first off, to see these places that I know so well, but to have them narrated as if it’s some sort of alien landscape. It’s just great. I loved this video.

**Craig:** When Barton Fink shows up to the hotel in Barton Fink, the bellhop who is played by Steve Buscemi says, “Welcome to Los Angle-Ease, Mr. Fink.” And I love that Los Angle-Ease. But we have these now in Los Angeles. And my wife points them out all the time because she is fluent in Spanish, so obviously she knows how to pronounce things properly.

And these phrases grate on her all the time. Like, for instance, Los Feliz, that’s just insane. We all know it’s Feliz. There’s the song Feliz Navidad. Why are we calling it Los Feel-Is. That’s nuts. Why do we call it San Pee-dro? That’s crazy. It’s San Pedro, obviously. It’s San Pedro.

Sepulveda is Supple-Veda. We do this all the time.

**John:** And we’re also not consistent about how we change things. And so two major north/south streets in Los Angeles are La Brea and La Cienega. Both of those are “La”s. They’re both “laws.” But we’ve decided it’s Le Brea but La Cienega. Why? Who knows? But that’s how we’ve done it.

**Craig:** Right. Like why isn’t La Brea?

**John:** Because it sounds crazy to say La Brea. You could totally tell somebody does not know the name of the street if they say La Brea.

**Craig:** Do you know when I first moved to Los Angeles I was driving around looking for an apartment in North Hollywood. And I came across this very large thoroughfare and the street sign said Laurel Cyn. And I thought, oh, is this like a Welsh name? And it’s Canyon.

**John:** It’s just short for Canyon.

**Craig:** It’s just short of Canyon. I’m like, “Oh, Coldwater Cyn? Huh.”

**John:** Yeah. Even in sort of your neighborhood is also Cañada or also Canada? Some things have the Ñ and some things don’t. And I don’t know whether the Ñ got dropped off just because of the sign or if it really isn’t there. And sometimes you’ll see the Y put in there to make the sound for the Ñ. So it’s all frustrating.

**Craig:** It’s really weird. So La Cañada, the official name of La Cañada there is a tilde over the N. And usually people will include it, but when people are typing things, you know, filling out forms and such sometimes the tilde will freak out poorly designed forms. And so you’ll see like when they spit your address back it’s got some crazy ass characters shoved in there.

But my street, they just shoved a Y in because I guess–

**John:** Just because.

**Craig:** Yeah. Like back then somebody was like I don’t understand this tilde thing. Let’s just put the Y in. That’ll make it easy. No. It’s made it really hard. It’s really super annoying, because I’d love to be able to just say Canada and be done with it to the people on the phone that I’m trying to order something from. But, no. So, yeah, no, what can you do.

**John:** Nothing.

**Craig:** Well that’s excellent. My One Cool Thing is a bit – I’d like to read you something.

**John:** Please.

**Craig:** It’s a short little clip. So I’m reading this book called Less. Have you heard of this book, John, Less?

**John:** I have heard of Less, but I don’t know the context of it, so tell me.

**Craig:** It just won the Pulitzer Prize. Well, I’m fairly early on. I’m say about a quarter of the way in. And it’s about a novelist who is suspicious that perhaps he might just be mediocre, but he does write things that have gotten some notice. And he was in this very long relationship with a poet who actually was really, really good, but when that guy dies he’s kind of now – and this guy was much older than him. And now he’s approaching his 50th birthday. He’s starting to panic. His younger boyfriend has gone to marry somebody else. He’s alone.

And, so you know like John we get invited to seminars and these like, “Oh, come to the such-and-such festival and be a judge at the Wichita Best Screenplay.” He decides, “Screw it, I’m going to accept all of these and just go around the world from one of these baloney things to another, whether it’s a symposium or being a judge, or having my book up for an award.” And so that’s where I am in the book.

But there’s this wonderful paragraph that he wrote that I thought was, oh my god, just so beautiful in terms of how it described the torture of writing. And he’s talking about his life living with his former lover who was this brilliant poet who won a Pulitzer Prize in the novel. And this is what he writes. And, by the way, I don’t mean to imply at all that I am saying that I or you are a genius. It’s just that he refers to this notion of a writing genius and I thought there was something fascinating about it. Oh, and the novel is called Less and it is by Andrew Sean Greer. And so here’s this little bit.

“What was it like to live with genius? Like living alone. Like living with a tiger. Everything had to be sacrificed for the work. Plans had to be canceled. Meals had to be delayed. Liquor had to be bought as soon as possible, or else all poured into the sink. Money had to be rationed or spent lavishly, changing daily. The sleep schedule was the poet’s to make, and it was often late nights as it was early mornings. The habit was the demon pet in the house. The habit. The habit. The habit. The morning coffee and books and poetry. The silence until noon. Could he be tempted by a morning stroll? He could. He always could. It was the only addiction where the sufferer longed for anything but the desired.

“But a morning walk meant work undone and suffering, suffering, suffering. Keep the habit. Help the habit. Lay out the coffee and poetry. Keep the silence. Smile when he walks sulkily out of his office to the bathroom. Take nothing personally. And did you sometimes leave an art book around with the thought that it would be the key to his mind? And did you sometimes put on music that might unlock the doubt and fear? Did you love it, the rain dance every day? Only when it rained. Where did the genius come from? Where did it go? Like allowing another lover into the house to live with you. Someone you’d never met, but whom you knew he loved more than you. Poetry every day. A novel every few years. Something happened in that room despite everything. Something beautiful happened. It was the only place in the world where time made things better. Life with doubt. Doubt in the morning with the oil beating on a cup of coffee. Doubt in the pee break, not catching his eye. Doubt in the sound of the front door opening and closing, a restless walk, no goodbye, and in the return doubt in the slow sound of typewriter keys. Doubt at lunch time taken in his room. Doubt vanishing in the afternoon like a fog. Doubt driven away. Doubt forgotten. Four in the morning, feeling him stirring awake, knowing he is staring at the darkness at doubt. Life with doubt, a memoir.”

Isn’t that great?

**John:** That’s great.

**Craig:** I just love that.

**John:** It also reminds me of sort of the worst of my habits and trying to recognize when I’m veering in that direction.

**Craig:** I know. I know. And I think he really just nails something here in terms of, you know, you and I have talked before about what it’s like to live with us. What it’s like for Mike, what it’s like for Melissa. And, again, not that we’re the geniuses of this particular summary, but I think all writers to some extent, all professional writers share these certain things. We do have these – it’s this addiction where we long for anything but the desired. And I love the notion that there’s for the people that live with the writer they are aware that there’s this other lover that this person is always chasing.

And it’s fascinating. And I just thought it was so beautifully written. I mean, I just – I’m just so enamored by this guy. Andrew Sean Greer. He’s so good at sentences. I just love him. So, I’m really enjoying this book. So I guess the larger One Cool Thing is this novel Less by Andrew Sean Greer. But at least individually and in a small component way, I love this little passage.

**John:** Very nice. All right, that is our show for this week. Our show is produced by Megan McDonnell. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Larry Douziech. If you have an outro you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions like the ones we answered today. Short questions on Twitter are great. Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust.

You can find us on Apple Podcasts. Just search for Scriptnotes, or wherever you find your podcasts. If you want to leave us a review that is swell.

You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. There will also be transcripts. They go up about four to seven days after the episode posts.

If you want to come to our live show you should. It is May 22nd. You should buy tickets now because they will probably sell out. If you want the VIP tickets, I think those are much more limited so move on those quick if you would like those.

And you can find all the back episodes, including the previous live shows, at Scriptnotes.net. Or on one of the USB drives. So once we sell out of the 300-episode USB drives we will make some 350 episodes so that we can keep them safe for any potential world-ending calamities.

**Craig:** Right. Yeah. Because we’re important.

**John:** Yeah. We are important. And we are European but not related.

**Craig:** Correct.

**John:** If people ask. We know that now. Craig, enjoy your next week of shooting there and I hope it all goes well.

**Craig:** Thank you, sir. We’ll talk soon.

**John:** Bye.

Links:

* Our next live Scriptnotes with Jonah Nolan & Lisa Joy (Westworld) and Stephen McFeely & Christopher Markus (Avengers: Infinity War) will be Tuesday, May 22nd at the ArcLight in Hollywood. [Tickets are on sale now](https://scriptnotes.brownpapertickets.com) — proceeds benefit [Hollywood HEART](http://www.hollywoodheart.org), which runs special programs and summer camps for at-risk youth.
* [Frank Oz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Oz), in case you’re curious
* Look how fast [Highland 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehKDtQ3Dbhw) loads War and Peace compared to other programs!
* [Scriptnotes, Ep 125: The One with the Guys from Final Draft](http://johnaugust.com/2014/the-one-with-the-guys-from-final-draft)
* [Welcome to Southern California](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-l13UMBlkM&app=desktop) includes a 1953 pronunciation of “Los Angeles”
* [Less](https://www.amazon.com/Less-Winner-Pulitzer-Prize-Novel/dp/0316316121) by Andrew Sean Greer
* [The Scriptnotes Listeners’ Guide!](http://johnaugust.com/guide)
* [The USB drives!](https://store.johnaugust.com/collections/frontpage/products/scriptnotes-300-episode-usb-flash-drive)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Find past episodes](http://scriptnotes.net/)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by [Larry Douziech](https://www.larrydouziech.com) ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode [here](http://traffic.libsyn.com/scriptnotes/scriptnotes_ep_349.mp3).

Scriptnotes, Ep 291: California Cannibal Cults — Transcript

March 16, 2017 Scriptnotes Transcript

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 291 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters. Today on the podcast, it’s another round of the Three Page Challenge, where we take a look at listener’s scenes and offer our honest critique. We’ll also be discussing techniques for letting the audience know your characters’ names. Plus, Craig has been stockpiling his umbrage for weeks and may have found a worthy target. So, hold on.

Before we get to the umbrage, Craig, we have exciting news.

**Craig:** Yes we do. So, last year fans of the podcast might recall that we did a live show here in Los Angeles to benefit the charity Hollywood Heart, which is a wonderful charity. And our good friend, John Gatins, is the connection to that. I believe he is on their board of directors. Well, we’re doing it again. This year, in fact, it’s coming up fast. It’s going to be March 28. Now, do we have tickets on sale yet? As of this minute of recording, no. But very, very soon.

You will want to get them. Obviously, John, you will not be with us because you’re in France.

**John:** You have a pretty amazing replacement guest host for this event.

**Craig:** We do. So we have Dana Fox, who is the best version of you I can imagine. So, screenwriter, television writer, director Dana Fox.

**John:** Former John August assistant, Dana Fox.

**Craig:** That’s right. Basically everybody that’s successful in Hollywood is a former John August assistant as far as I could tell. But for all of you out there in film fandom, you might want to check this out because we have a number of guests, but perhaps our featured guest we’ll say is Rian Johnson, director of the upcoming Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Rian Johnson. Also, the screenwriter of Star Wars: The Last Jedi. You’re going to want to see Rian Johnson, aren’t you?

He’s probably going to tell everybody in the audience what happens.

**John:** Probably so. Assuming like small nondisclosure agreements and it’s the only chance you’ll ever get to know what happens in Star Wars ahead of time. By the way, that’s not his only credit. He’s directed many other incredibly great movies and episodes of television. But, the thing we may want to talk about this time is how you go from directing those amazing movies to one of the biggest movies of all time.

**Craig:** Yep.

**John:** So, I cannot contain my jealousy that you will get to talk with him then live. I will be asleep while you’re recording it, but I will send through some sort of prerecorded welcome to all of you people. Or, I’ll give Dana special instructions for how to really get under your skin.

**Craig:** Dana can’t get under my skin. It’s just – I love her too much. Here’s the problem. You’re going to tell her to do things that if you had done them would get under my skin. And when she does them, they’re just going to be adorable.

**John:** Yeah. She’s a pretty wonderful person.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So, if you are interested in coming to this live show, there will be a link in the show notes assuming that the tickets are actually available by the time the episode posts. If not, keep following us on Twitter because it’s going to be a popular show. I suspect it will sell out, so you will want to–

**Craig:** It will.

**John:** Follow us to make sure that you will get a chance to see Rian Johnson and Dana Fox. And a third guest to be announced soon.

**Craig:** And it will be a third guest of high caliber. We don’t just, I mean, you know what we do. Last year we had the Game of Thrones guys. We had Jason Bateman. It was a great show.

**John:** It was a good show.

**Craig:** Yeah. This time we have Rian Johnson, Dana Fox. It’s only – frankly, it can only get better from there. So I presume Steven Spielberg. I haven’t checked with Steven Spielberg. Maybe I should check with him.

**John:** You know who it should be? It should be Stephen King.

**Craig:** Ooh, I would love Stephen King.

**John:** Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to fly out to Los Angeles.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** But Stephen King would be great.

**Craig:** But we have Rian Johnson.

**John:** And Rian Johnson is fantastic. So, if you are curious about what Rian Johnson might say, you may want to check out the previous episode that Rian Johnson was on. A live show in Austin where he was one of our featured guests. That is a segue to my next topic, which was the Scriptnotes Index. So, last week we talked about this idea of, you know, there’s all these back episodes and people are coming to the show and they are staring at 300 episodes and trying to figure out like where do I even start.

So I proposed, and Craig stole the idea and co-proposed, doing an index for the show in which our listeners who have listened to every episode could point new listeners to. These are the episodes you don’t want to miss. And so this might become a book. This might become a website. We’ll figure out the best way to get this out in the world. But, so far 47 of you – this is only three days after we announced it – have written in with recommendations on the can’t miss episodes.

So, if you would like to add your own recommendations for which episodes listeners need to make sure they hit, it is johnaugust.com/guide. And that’s where you can leave a review for individual episodes. Let people know why they should listen to it and who it is for.

**Craig:** I think we should call it the Scriptdecks. I like Scriptdecks.

**John:** Scriptdecks?

**Craig:** Scriptdecks.

**John:** All right. We’ll workshop that. So, it’s definitely a contender. We’ll put it on the whiteboard.

**Craig:** I don’t like the sound of that.

**John:** So, at least we can always fall back to Scriptdecks.

**Craig:** You know what you did? You just Kellyanne’d me. You dodged. You bobbed.

**John:** A little bit. But people should know that Scriptnotes is actually Craig Mazin’s title for the show. He was the one who came up with the title Scriptnotes.

**Craig:** That’s right. But I’m going to be honest here. I might have Camel cased it if the typography had been up to me. So, phew. Bullet dodged.

**John:** But it wasn’t.

**Craig:** Yeah, it sure wasn’t.

**John:** Bullet dodged. But one bullet will not be dodged which is the next bullet–

**Craig:** Segue Man.

**John:** Craig has put in the chamber and he’s been ready for this all week. So, this is a person who runs another website. Craig and I are not really bloggers so much anymore. I still have my site. Craig sort of let his site disappear. But this is a site called ScriptShadow. And it is run by a person names Carson Reeves, who I’ve never met, but I sort of encountered online various times. And a person who has very strong opinions about screenwriting, which I generally do not share.

But this was a breaking point for Craig. So, Craig, for our listeners at home or people who are driving who can’t actually pull up the blog post, could you just read aloud the moments that really set you off?

**Craig:** Sure. So, this is from ScriptShadow who puts himself forth as an expert on screenwriting and screenplays and how to become a professional screenwriter, even though he is none of those things. And here’s what he wrote recently. “Moonlight and Manchester By The Sea won the Adapted and Original screenplay awards respectively. And they’re both terrible screenplays. There isn’t even a discussion to be had on the matter. They’re awful screenplays that display no skill in the screenwriting department whatsoever.

“How can I say such a thing? One of the easiest ways to judge a screenplay is to ask, “Can someone else have written this?” Is the skill on display at a level where other writers could’ve written something similar? I can say without hesitation that there isn’t one writer of the 10,000 members in the WGA who couldn’t have written either of these scripts.”

**John:** Wow. So, first off, welcome King George to the podcast. So, he seems to be claiming that all 10,000 members of the WGA could have written Moonlight. They could have written the story of a gay black kid growing up in Florida over three different periods of his life. Because that’s, you know, it’s a universal experience and we’ve all had that. We all could have written that script.

**Craig:** How many times have we seen that movie? He’s right. I mean, it’s like the staple of Disney sitcoms. And not only could any of the 10,000 members of the WGA, which I wonder if he’s even one of them, not only could any of them have written it, they would have all written that way.

You know that scene where he’s cradling him in the water. That obviously would have written that way with those words in that sense. And similarly Manchester By The Sea just feels so obvious in all ways that, you know, it’s kind of weird. Like why haven’t all of these people written these screenplays? Seems kind of crazy, right? Since we all could have, why didn’t we?

**John:** Absolutely. And it’s also why are these two films so acclaimed when they clearly are just coasting on good cinematography and good performances. Because what ScriptShadow is teaching us is that the screenplays themselves really have no bearing on why the films turned out well. Which seems ironic considering it’s a site about screenwriting and the importance of screenwriting. So–

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** It’s all a conundrum really why these films turned out so well despite not being good screenplays.

**Craig:** But here’s the strangest thing of all. You and I are having a discussion on this matter. And ScriptShadow has told us quite clearly there isn’t even a discussion to be had on the matter. Because ScriptShadow, as far as I can tell, he is either an idiot or he is suffering from delusions of grandeur. To say that two screenplays that have won these awards are both terrible screenplays is something you’re allowed to say to a friend if you choose. Your opinion is that they’re terrible screenplays. I understand.

It’s usually not the case. Even when movies win an Oscar award and I think, oh, I did not like that movie. It’s not that they’re terrible. It’s just that I didn’t love it that much. And so it goes. But what this idiot is saying, and he’s saying publicly so that we can all see him be an idiot, is that they are objectively terrible screenplays, both of them, that display, “No skill in the screenwriting department whatsoever.”

And I must ask, of course, what makes him the arbiter of skill in the screenwriting department? By the way, I’ve seen something that ScriptShadow has written. I’ve seen an actual piece of work that he wrote. Did you know that?

**John:** I think I do remember this. This was years ago, but yeah, I do remember this.

**Craig:** Yeah. He sucks. I mean, like sucks to the level where he would not be picked for our Three Page Challenge. That Godwin would just go, oh yeah, this goes in the slush pile. He’s terrible. So when he asks rhetorically, “How can I say such a thing,” the actual proper response is, “Idiot, delusions of grandeur.”

**John:** All right. Enough ScriptShadow. Let’s get on to our real business today. This was a question that came to us on Twitter. Erin McGinley wrote in to ask, “Can you do a bit on the ways to introduce character names? How do we escape, what’s your name, or hi I’m Sally?” Erin, that is a great question.

**Craig:** So good.

**John:** I don’t think we’ve ever done an episode about this. If we had Scriptdecks we could look that up. But I don’t think we’ve really talked about this as a topic.

**Craig:** It’s catching, isn’t it, by the way? [laughs]

**John:** I know. I’ll say it three more times and suddenly it will feel like, oh, well of course that’s the right answer.

**Craig:** Yeah. This is one of those things that plagues us all, Erin, so thank you for asking this question. And certainly we all know the worst way. Actually, you haven’t even noticed the worst way, because you’re saying how do we escape, “What’s your name? Hi, I’m Sally.” Sometimes, “What’s your name? I am Sally,” works – depending on context.

The worst way is just when two people who know each other are taking like John and I are talking right now. And I’m like, well, you know John, out of nowhere I just mention your name. Scott Frank always blows up about this. He’s like how many times do we use each other’s names when we’re talking to each other? Zero percent of the time. We both know each other’s name. That’s always the worst.

**John:** It is the worst. So, but I think the reason why we try to do it, and sometimes do it awkwardly is that the audience really does want to know characters’ names. I think there’s an inherent story sense that as we’re watching something, if a character feels important, we want to know their names. And if we are not told their names pretty early on in the story, we will just assign them our own name. So we will assign like, oh, Albino guy, or French Idris Elba. Like we’ll assign something that sort of takes the place of name just for simple mental categorization.

So we are always listening for a name. And so let’s talk through some ways to get that name out there. The horrible way tends to be sort of like two people having a conversation and awkwardly using their name. But if you have more people in a conversation, then there could be a natural way of like, you know, you’re distinguishing who you’re actually talking to, or you’re calling to somebody. That can sometimes do it, as long it doesn’t feel forced.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** You can sometimes show it. So, there’s ways sometimes you will show a name on a desk, on a door, on some other bit of business that will naturally do it. That can feel really forced as well, but it’s sometimes a way to get that name out there. Craig, other thoughts?

**Craig:** Yeah, you know, there are moments where your name gets called for things. You’re waiting for something at an office and somebody calls your name. There’s pieces of paper that might have your name on them that you’re filling out a form and then we have phone calls. Sometimes the best way to learn someone’s name is through two people that aren’t that person. So, we see – a very typical thing in the beginning of a movie is we see our main character and she’s working at her desk. And then we see two other people who are across the hallway and they’re like, “What’s with Virginia this morning? I don’t know. She’s…”

So, sometimes that happens, because it is natural at that point. You wouldn’t say what’s with – if there’s more than one person, you wouldn’t say what’s with her. The person would say what’s with which one, which who.

So there are ways to do this. Here’s the thing, Erin, and all the rest of you. It’s all annoying. It’s all annoying. I hate it. It’s one of my least liked – well, because it’s hated – parts of screenwriting because it always feels artificial. The truth is I have no problem writing a script where nobody ever knows somebody’s name. In fact, I do it all the time. And here’s the crazy part. Usually people don’t notice. Every now and then, somebody towards the end will go, “Is anyone going to ever say that person’s name?” And I’ll just no. They won’t. You know what? They’ll just know who they are, because they’ll see them.

But, you know, everybody seems to want to try and get the name in. I hate it. I hate it.

**John:** I completely agree that there’s characters in scripts who you don’t ever need to know their name, and just whatever their category of that they do is fine. But I think she’s talking about a principal character in your film. If we don’t their name, and sometimes it is awkward to get that name out there. And so you can imagine scenarios in which a person is alone for a lot of the movie, if you didn’t get that name out there pretty early on it’s going to be really challenging.

If you can have a character speak their own name, it’s simple, but it has to be sort of natural to the world of the story. So it’s like they’re introducing themselves or like they’re signing in at a reception desk. They are on a phone call. Like, hi my name is blah from this. So, Big Fish does that. My name is Will Bloom calling from the AP. That’s the kind of thing where people do actually use their name.

So, I would also just recommend as you go through life over this next week, this is sort of everybody who is listening to this, listen for times where people say their names or you learn somebody’s name in a natural way. And just take note of that. And maybe you’ll find other good ways to get that name out there in your script.

**Craig:** There’s also games you can play with it. In Identity Thief I had Melissa McCarthy tell her name to Jason Bateman, and then we hear somebody else yell her actually name, so we get that she lied when she was telling him her name. So you can play around with it.

You know, I’ve never actually written a scene, I just thought of this, but I assume that people have introduced names in movies by having somebody order a coffee at Starbucks. Because they always ask you your name.

**John:** I’ve absolutely seen that. So, it feels kind of TV, but–

**Craig:** Right. It feels TV because it’s such a boring scene to put in a movie. Somebody ordering coffee.

**John:** Yeah. But, it’s a way to do it. It gets it out there in the world.

**Craig:** I hate the name thing. I really do.

**John:** I hate the name thing, too. [Unintelligible] wrote a whole movie about it, but yes, I hate it, too.

**Craig:** Yep.

**John:** All right, it’s time for our big marquee feature today, the Three Page Challenge. So for people who are new to the podcast, every couple weeks we invite our listeners to send in the first three pages of their script. It can be a screenplay. It can be a pilot. It can be anything that looks like a movie or TV show. And we will read it. And Godwin sorts through all the entries. He picks the three that he thinks are most interesting for us to talk about. So, what we’re about to share with you are people who wrote in to say like, hey, please critique this.

So, unlike ScriptShadow, who is just critiquing other people’s stuff, we are inviting people to send stuff in. And so people have very nicely agreed to let us talk about these things. We will have the PDFs for all of these entries linked in the show notes for the show, so you can read along with us. But, because you might be in a car or someplace where you can’t actually open the PDF, we do a summary before we start.

And the summaries are not always our most favorite part of this. So, a few episodes ago we tried having a guest reader, and so we had Jeff Probst come on. He did a fantastic job.

**Craig:** He did.

**John:** Doing the summaries. And we thought we might try to top that. We might try to go a little bit more. So, we reached out to Elizabeth Banks to ask if she would be willing to read the summaries for this week’s Three Page Challenge. And she said no. But eventually we convinced her, and she said yes.

So, this is Elizabeth Banks. She’s an actress, producer, director from Pitch Perfect, The Hunger Games, Wet Hot American Summer. She’s Rita Repulsa in the new Power Rangers movie.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So she’s the real deal.

**Craig:** I’ll tell you what else.

**John:** What?

**Craig:** She’s fantastic. You’ve worked with Elizabeth, right, at some point or another?

**John:** I never have. I only know her socially.

**Craig:** Spectacular. Very, very smart person. Sometimes I have to be like, I don’t want to use the word alpha, but in working arrangements I feel like I’m driving the bus somehow, just because sometimes as a screenwriter that’s what you have to do, especially if you’re coming in and you’re rewriting stuff. She so drives the bus. She’s the bus driver. So, I sit next to her on the bus, but she’s driving the bus. She is in charge. I love that lady. Excellent person.

**John:** I played Catan against Elizabeth and her husband. And, man, they’re hardcore Catan players. They don’t mess around.

**Craig:** Again, yeah, and Max, who is a great guy. They’re bus drivers. Just there are people in life – I feel like there are bus drivers, there are people who sit next to the bus drivers. And then there are passengers. They’re bus drivers.

**John:** They are bus drivers. So, we can ask Elizabeth Banks, will you please introduce our first entry in the Three Page Challenge?

Elizabeth Banks: Carne by John Lambert. In a sterile room we see a pair of gloved hands turn over a slab of red meat for inspection. The meat is then dropped onto the sheet of brown butcher’s paper. A thump from outside. The hands freeze for a moment, then hastily wrap and tape up the meat. A pair of feet rushes down the hallway and out a set of steel doors. The package is tossed into an igloo cooler in the passenger seat of a Chevy van.

The van drives off through the streets of New Orleans. The unseen driver of the van meets up with Levi Cheval, a prick in his 30s. Levi asks the driver what he brought. Flanks and tenderloin. Levi asks about the ribs, insisting that he always wants the ribs.

The driver drops the package into Levi’s trunk. Levi hands over a thick envelope. The van drives off revealing a decal that reads Cheval Funeral Home.

Later, a butcher’s cleaver cuts into a slab of meat. We read the embroidery on the chef’s coat. Levi Cheval, Chef de Cuisine.

**Craig:** So, we’ve got ourselves a nice little short film here to open up a pilot and it certainly is going to tell us the topic of the show which is that a chef is using human body parts in his restaurant. This is kind of a thing now. There’s that, what is called Santa Clara Diet?

**John:** Yeah, Santa Clarita Diet.

**Craig:** Santa Clarita.

**John:** Drew Barrymore and Tim Olyphant.

**Craig:** Right. People are eating people now. It’s en vogue.

So, let’s just talk about the – there’s a broad issue, and then I’ll get a little more granule. The broad issue is that we are stuck, I think, in a situation where we can’t see the driver’s face, because we’re not allowed to for some reason. I assume it’s important later. And it’s just too long. There’s two pages and it’s a two-page conversation. That’s a two-minute-ish conversation, ish, where we’re not allowed to see one person’s face. And it’s really awkward and uncomfortable that we’re not seeing his face.

You can get away with that for a page, I think, maximum. A page. Two pages and I’m like, why is the camera just avoiding this? And now I’m not watching the scene. Now I’m like show the freaking face already, because there’s no reason for me to not see his face. If there were a reason. If I had a better sense of why I was not allowed to see this person’s face, because he was an important person, or a dangerous person. But he’s not. He’s actually submissive to Levi. He’s clearly just a work-a-day guy. He’s a little scared of him.

And so I really don’t understand why I can’t see his face and it’s really annoying. And the second issue is that we – we kind of are a little ahead of the reveal, I think.

**John:** Yeah. I think we’re way ahead. And this is really my fundamental issue with it is like by the third paragraph I knew what this was. By the time I see the meat on the butcher paper and it’s called Carne, I was like this is going to be about cannibalism. And so that’s my first thought. And then everything is just backing it up. And so I feel like I’m 2.5 pages ahead of where this three pages is. And that’s a real challenge.

And so my proposal, and this is just John take this for what you want, but I think you cut out that first scene. Cut out the meat. Don’t show the meat. And get to the delivery, get to something else first. And maybe then open up the package and see that there’s meat inside there, because I was just way ahead of you for far too long.

**Craig:** Yeah. I understand that on page three when Levi says, “How is he?” And the driver says, “Same as always,” clearly he knows somebody that the driver knows. So they have someone in common. And then when the van drives away it says Cheval Funeral Home. OK. And then the next thing we see is that his name is Levi Cheval. This is actually kind of bumming me out. It’s one reveal too many.

I wouldn’t mind the reveal that Levi Cheval, the cannibal chef, is buying meat from a funeral home. But then I would make the second reveal – I would hold it back. Because that’s another thing. He’s related to, I guess his dad or something who owns the funeral home.

Frankly, for something like this, I would do this backwards from the way that you have done it, John. I would start in a restaurant. And I would start with somebody eating and it would be delicious. And the chef comes out and compliments, “It’s the most amazing. It’s just fantastic. Thank you. We go through remarkable lengths to procure the finest.” And then he goes back in the kitchen and someone is like, “Oh, the meat guy is here.” And he goes, “Oh, great, great, great.” And he comes outside and it’s just business as usual. “What’s going on man? You’re supposed to deliver me blah-blah-blah and blah-blah-blah.” “Sorry, I got held up. We couldn’t get that, but we have these.” And he’s like, “All right, I’ll take them. Thanks.”

And the guy drives away and then we see funeral home as the reveal. I would just do this backwards. And I would also make it so much more mundane because it helps inform the audience that this is not new. This has been going on for a while, you know. I always feel like criminals who are stuck in a kind of recidivist, repetitive criminal act are as work-a-day about it as anybody at any job.

This felt very cloak and dagger and unnecessarily so.

**John:** I agree. You know which movie had really great work-a-day criminals in it? Moonlight. You know, good street drug dealers. Felt like it was their ordinary business.

**Craig:** Anyone could have written.

**John:** Anyone.

**Craig:** Why didn’t ScriptShadow write that script? If only just to get the notoriety of having an Oscar. Because what he’s saying is he could have written it. So, he should have really written it.

**John:** He really should have written it.

**Craig:** That’s just silly. That’s just business silly.

**John:** It is business silly. So, let’s go back to John’s script here. And I think it’s an opportunity to look at some of what he’s doing on the page and highlight some things that are working really well and some things that could work better. If you are using dashes at the end of a line, so it’s an abbreviated line, it’s two dashes, not one dash. In another Three Page Challenge we’re going to look at, it really is just – I know this sounds horrible as a person who comes from typography, but it really is. It’s two dashes. It’s not an em dash. There’s no such thing as an em dash in Courier really. So it’s just two dashes.

So, there’s a couple times here where I’m seeing a single dash, which just doesn’t cut it for me.

Midway down the first page, INT. HALLWAY. Day? Night? It’s just normal to put the day there. And I know it seems weird because we’re not necessarily seeing the sunlight, but you put the day. It’s just standard.

I liked the sort of two-thirds the way down the page, as we get to the asphalt parking lot, it sort of feels like quick cuts. “IGLOO COOLER ON PASSENGER SEAT Opened. Fresh ice. The package is tossed in. Cooler shut. THE GRILL OF A WHITE CHEVY VAN SHAKES as the engine ROARS to life.” Great. I get the feeling of movement. So nicely done there.

With “VARIOUS SHOTS. STREETS OF NEW ORLEANS. DAY.” That’s an Exterior. Give us an EXT. It’s fine to say various, but again we’re outside. Just let us know we’re outside.

At the bottom of page one, this is the paragraph as written. “It pulls into an empty parking lot, in a seemingly empty industrial district. Empty, aside from a murdered-out Cadillac coupe in the corner, which it parks next to.” Too many empties. Kind of an awkward phrasing there.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** A simpler version of this might be, “It pulls into a parking lot in an industrial complex. Empty, aside from a murdered-out Cadillac coupe.” Great. So just simplify.

**Craig:** Simplify is a good thing. I like to use capitals the way that John does. I like to call out things with all caps. And I don’t necessarily do it in any rigorous way. Sometimes I call out things. Sometimes I call out actions. Sometimes I call out signs. So all the things he’s doing here.

When you do call out things with capitals, I think that’s when it becomes helpful for the reader if you bold your slug lines. Because the capitals start to mush. And even though slug lines have an extra line break in front of them, the bolding of the slug lines really helps you kind of focus. And it helps make the other capitals pop more. Otherwise you start to feel like you’re taking a slight moment to determine, especially if you’re not going to put a traditional EXT/INT in front of something. Is this – am I being told a location here, or is this something that’s actually happening in the scene? And any tiny little pause is bad for the read.

John puts periods at the end of his slug lines. They’re not necessary. I don’t do that. I don’t think many people do. But none of these are fatal sins.

**John:** No, not at all. I will say that there’s some terminology which is a little blurry here, and it’s just the nature of screenwriting. So, I will apologize on behalf of screenwriting for it. Slug line can mean the INT/EXT, but you can also call that a scene heading. And scene heading is a little bit clearer, that you’re really talking about the start of a scene.

**Craig:** That’s right.

**John:** Slug lines can also refer to what Craig is talking about, which are these sort of intermediary slug lines. They’re in the middle of a scene and they give you a sense that you’re looking a different way or it’s a change in the action. They’re incredibly useful. It’s just the terms are sort of blurry over the two of them.

**Craig:** Yeah. Sorry. So I mean bold the scene headings is what I mean.

**John:** Yeah. And I agree on bold scene headings. I was a late convert to it, but I think it’s really helpful. Also I stopped doing the extra return before scene headings. If you’re bolding them you can get away with the single–

**Craig:** Ooh. I keep those in there. I keep those in there. I know, listen, I know that it’s literally six pages on top of my script by the time it’s all done, but I don’t know. I agree that there’s a lot of really good evocative stuff here. In a sense, sometimes it goes a little too far. So I love things like, “The sound of latex snapping against skin.” But then we have “INT. HALLWAY. The sound of quick feet echo, growing louder, as we peer down a long and empty hallway of white sterility, save for the red exit sign and steel double doors at the end.” That’s too much.

**John:** Too much.

**Craig:** Too much. Also quick feet echo, that’s a rough three words. The sound of quick feet echoing is probably what I would put there. That’s where I would want the [unintelligible], because “quick feet echo,” it’s just there’s two nouns in a row there that I struggle with.

**John:** The reason why we say it’s overwritten is because you’re giving us three sentences for like it’s a hallway. There’s nothing actually that’s going to happen here, so don’t give us this marathon sentence that it’s just, you know, a hallway.

**Craig:** Yeah. I don’t mind things being described to paint the picture so I can see it, as long as they’re purposeful. So, the red exit sign and steel double doors at the end, it’s really not that important, especially because two steel doors swing open in the very next bit.

This is the epitome of over-writing. “Two steel doors swing open and the nervously cadenced legs hurry past us.” Well, if you’re going to do that, you need to hyphenate nervously-cadenced, but more importantly, no. Right? That’s just crazy. Two steel doors swing open. Someone hurries past us. Or we see legs hurrying by.

This is starting to get purple, right? When we say purple we mean ornate, overwritten, Rococo, pick your – baroque, pick your adjective here.

**John:** Pick the most baroque word for Baroque, and that will be the right one.

**Craig:** And so there’s little too much going on here. And none of it is impactful. What’s so much more impactful is the “THE GRILL OF A WHITE CHEVY VAN SHAKES as the engine ROARS to life.” I get it.

**John:** Got it.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So, I want to talk about something I really liked on page two. So Levi is having the conversation with the driver:

Fiiine. Whadya’ got.

Just flanks and tenderloin.

No ribs?

Too skinny. You would’ve passed.

We’ve gone over this. Allow me to pass.

Okay. You would’ve passed though.

That feels like sort of the ordinary give and take. That feels like the flow and it tells me a little bit about their relationship. It tells me about Levi in terms of like he’s just kind of being a prick there about this. But that he’s looking for a specific thing. So that got me clicking back into what was actually happening here.

There definitely are moments here I can sort of see the shape of what this wants to be.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** This is supposed to be a pilot, and so I am curious sort of like what the series out of this would be. But I’m not sure just based on these three pages if I would have made it to the end of the first act, honestly.

**Craig:** I think it’s the wrong opening. I think that there is a – I think it’s backwards, personally. I think there is a better opening and a better reveal. But, there is promise. I mean, I think that John has a very good sense of sound and sight. Maybe just needs to pull back a little bit on how much he gets into it. By the way, that one line that you read, I really liked it once I understood it. “We’ve gone over this. Allow me to pass.” That’s where you actually want an underline or an italic on the word me. Because the phrase “allow me to pass” is actually an unnatural enunciation of that phrase. Normally it’s allow me to pass, as in let me go by. So, it’s, “We’ve gone over this. Allow me to pass,” and I’m like allow you to pass what?

Allow you to pass?

**John:** Oh, yeah, exactly right.

**Craig:** Yeah, so allow me to pass.

**John:** Underlining either allow or me would have made it clear that that’s what you’re trying to say.

**Craig:** Right. Right. Right. So you needed a little bit of emphasis on that one. But, by the way, I swear to god, the biggest issue here is you’re forcing the camera away from somebody for two pages. That is nearly impossible to do well.

**John:** That’s really challenging. All right. I think it is time for Elizabeth Banks to come back and talk us through our next summary for our Three Page Challenge.

**Craig:** All right.

**John:** Elizabeth, take it away.

Elizabeth: Cult of Personality by Nathaniel Nauert. High in the hills of Topanga Canyon news helicopters and law enforcement agencies surround an old ranch home. They’re eating KFC and drawing analogies to bin Laden. Inside, 30 cult members sit in a circle holding hands. These are the Valentines. They chant in unison while their leader, Simon Ducis, stands alone. Simon decides it’s time to face the music. Getting ready to give himself up. Stephanie, one of Simon’s disciples, throws herself at his feet, unwilling to let him go. Simon reassures her that his physical absence changes nothing. If they destroy the school where you learned, do you lose the knowledge you gained there?

He then instructs another Valentine, Beth, to take everyone to Andromeda if the plan fails. Simon emerges from the house with his hands raised. The police captain tells Simon to lower himself to the ground. But instead, Simon begins to levitate. And that’s the bottom of page three.

**John:** Nathaniel, I really dug your three pages. And there’s some really exciting stuff here. I have some questions about certain things, but I can see what you’re doing here. I would definitely have kept reading this script if this had been dropped on my desk.

First off, I love cults, so like I’m always a sucker for cults. But I really liked the tone you were able to find here. Because it’s funny without trying too hard to be funny. And that’s a challenging thing. It would be so easy to sort of go for the easy laugh, and you didn’t do that. And at the bottom of page three we have a mystical moment that seems impossible. Well, you sort of sunk your hook there and I thought that was really effective.

We’re going to talk about some things that aren’t working here, but that was my sort of bigger headline is like, Nathaniel, I think you did something really cool here.

**Craig:** Yeah. If I get to the bottom of page three and he’s not levitating, I don’t love these. But he is levitating, so now I’m kind of loving them. I mean, I was a little more wobbly on the tone than you, only because some of the comedy felt weirdly broad for what was happening. Or what he was saying. So I wasn’t quite sure – like at times I thought is this sort of spoofy? It’s really when he was dragging Stephanie around with his leg. That felt Naked Gun-ish to me.

**John:** Yeah, but I could also picture it, though, because I could picture the version where like it’s sincere and yet it’s also absurd at the same time.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And some of our great sort of HBO comedies are able to do that thing where like it’s both believable that that character in that moment would do it, and it’s also just absurd because you shouldn’t be dragged around like a child by a parent.

**Craig:** The tonal break in a weird way wasn’t that she was doing that. It was that he calmly walked around the room and then we revealed that he’s been dragging her. The reveal is a physical comedy broad way of doing that.

**John:** Yeah. Agreed.

**Craig:** To say like, oh, she’s so – that was the only tonal break where I was like, OK, am I in spoof territory or not? But then we do have that last line, where he starts levitating and Jason says, the cop says, “Hold still Simon. That’s an order. You hear me? Quit floating?” So I–

**John:** I’m a little nervous about that line, too.

**Craig:** Sounds like Naked Gun to me. Is this Naked Gun cult or is it – I’m not sure about the tone.

**John:** Yeah. I like that it was a little ambiguous about the tone, honestly. I felt like it could go both ways. So like the cultists are called the Valentines. A bit that I was confused about it says 30 people. But I felt like Nathanial meant 30 women, because I don’t see any men actually singled out or mentioned. And it felt more like a sex cult kind of place because there’s a waterbed and a Jacuzzi.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** So my guess is that it’s a woman-dominated cult, or like he’s the only guy left in there. A major problem, we talked about characters speaking their names. The captain should be named Dixon, not Jason. And so all of his character cues, his character names above his dialogue, it gets confusing because Jason and Simon are just too close together.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**John:** So, you set up a character who feels like he should be named Dixon. Just call him Dixon throughout this whole thing. Even Dixon and Simon are a little bit close considering they’re the only two men speaking. So if you have another name for one of these two characters, I would go for that.

I was singling out in the last script about dashes at the end of lines. Here Nathaniel is using em dashes. He’s using the very long dashes. And in typography you use those all the time. You just don’t use them in screenplays because screenplays are 12-point Courier. And they look weird. They look sort of strangely out of place. So I would just go back, and I know it’s going to kill you, but just go back and do your two normal hyphens. It will feel much more natural on the page.

**Craig:** So really other than the things I’ve mentioned here, the only other thing that I felt needed looking at was the – and again, this implies a spoof sort of tone – is the first paragraph says, “High in the hills of Topanga Canyon, California, sits a LARGE RANCH HOME, surrounded by lush gardens and grazing livestock. It’s pastoral, idyllic, and tranquil as F.” It doesn’t say F, but I’m trying to keep it clean here.

OK, fine. So, then the next paragraph says, “WHUP, WHUP, WHUP. Maybe not. NEWS HELICOPTERS jockey for position in the sky above the quiet sanctuary. Surrounding the compound, it’s mayhem: LAPD, FBI, ATF, and KFC (delivering breakfast)” – see, it’s a spoof – “crouch in silence, eyes and guns locked on the old wooden structure.”

So, it can’t be pastoral, idyllic, and also mayhem with news helicopters. It’s one or the other. That’s a joke that only works when you’re reading the screenplay, but it’s not really a joke that works on screen, so I would not do that.

**John:** Yep. I agree with you there. My other notes about stuff I’m seeing on the page is top of page two, Simon says, “He’s right. Dixon’s right. It’s time for me to face the music.” Well, first off, he’s calling him Dixon, so we should call that character Dixon throughout. But why is he saying this to himself? He’s not saying it to anybody around him. And it just felt really strange. It’s a weird moment at the top of page two so he says this seemingly to himself, but everybody hears them, and then they respond to him. I think you’re going to be in a much better place for him to sort of reach the decision and then for everyone to react. So for him to actually just announce it to the group or somehow otherwise expose what his next step is. It just felt too odd that he’s just talking to himself at that moment.

The same kind of thing happens on page three, though. So, middle of page three, Dixon is on the megaphone saying, “Okay, Simon, you’re doing the right thing here… That’s far enough. (then, lowering the bullhorn) Been waiting a long time for this, psycho.” Wait, who is he saying this to?

It’s always really odd the–

**Craig:** It’s a spoof.

**John:** Yeah. Maybe so.

**Craig:** Well, spoof tone. Because that’s a very spoofy sort of thing. Because the traditional spoof mode, not the crappy new spoof mode, but the old school spoof mode is to be like a bad soap opera essentially, where people do these sort of weird mannered things like mutter to themselves and turn away from camera and say, “Oh, I don’t know.”

So, I don’t know. I feel like maybe that’s what’s going on here. It’s hard to tell, but I think it’s well done and I agree with you, I would keep reading to find out what’s happening. So I think overall Nathaniel, you know, he’s on to something here. I’m not sure what it is, but he’s on to it.

**John:** Cool. Let’s get to our third and final Three Page Challenge. It’s our last chance to hear the lovely voice of Elizabeth Banks. Take it away, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Music Festival by Alexandra Gioulakis. We fly over sand dunes, Joshua Trees, and dried out cattle skulls as we come upon a massive music festival in Tehachapi, California. In voiceover, 18-year-old Dylan tells us that today is the last Saturday before high school graduation. She’s at home while her friends are stuck in detention. As she lounges in the pool, Dylan’s friends show up in a minivan. Dylan introduces them, still in voiceover, as they file out of the van.

There’s Stephanie, Dylan’s butch BFF since childhood. Steph brings the beer. There’s Josh, hot, and Dylan has a crush on him. And Matt. Matt and Dylan have a history, including seven minutes of not-so-heaven in eighth grade. Then comes Madison. Stephanie is secretly in love with her, but Madison is dating Matt. Dylan is Team Stephanie.

Finally, Goldie, the nerd everyone thought would be a computer whiz, but is really just awkward and clumsy. Dylan is the only one of her friends not to get into college. She plans to either kill herself, or go to cosmetology school. That, and travel across Egypt. She’s got plans. With that, we hit the bottom of page three.

**John:** So, interesting that we had our topic of how do you introduce character’s names. Well, this is one way. You sort of shotgun them out. And as they file out of the van you identify them by name. And talk us through their descriptions. I thought this was a really interesting mess. And I don’t mean that to be disparaging, really. I think there’s some really promising signs of talent here, but these three pages didn’t really work for me.

How did you feel?

**Craig:** I agree that this feels new. In that it feels like Alex – I’m going to call her Alex because that’s part of her email address – that Alex is approaching this kind of from a neophyte position because it’s doing that thing that new writers do, which is talk, and talk, and talk, and talk. It’s very mannered. And that’s not terrible. I mean, some of that’s just a matter of taste, right? And I don’t really like to get into matters of taste so much. But, this is a case where I think much less would be much more. Because if you clear out some of the extra, then the things that are kind of lovely and interesting start to pop out more.

**John:** I agree. So, you know, it reminded me of sort of Don Roos’s scripts, so Don Roos, Opposite of Sex, sort of great movies with Christina Ricci and other talented young actresses moving up. It also reminded me a bit of sort of the feeling of the CW teen shows. Sort of the Riverdales where it’s – everything is heightened in a way that’s sort of interesting.

So, that’s where I think the voice is promising. But there was just too much voice. There was just too much being in Dylan’s head and hearing her talk without anyone actually doing anything in these three pages. And I thought that was the real limitation.

So, we start by flying over Tehachapi, and sort of seeing this music festival. But then our initial voiceover has nothing to do with the music festival at all, really. It’s talking about these three friends who are in detention who we’re not seeing, and then we’re coming to her in the pool I really felt like the tone of this movie should be like when we arrive in this music festival she needs to say something about this music festival, or disparages music festivals, or do something to let us know what is her relationship with this music festival before she starts introducing all of these friends in sort of shotgun manner.

**Craig:** Yeah. There’s also, you know, I love line breaks. I’m a big fan of line breaks. I like making – to me, the fewer words you can get away with on the page, the better off you are. However, too many line breaks in this. This is actually – so congratulations in a way. You’ve somehow managed to out-line break me. We have ten lines of action and description, most of which are half of the length of a line long. It all starts to turn into like – it almost feels like a teleprompter at some point. Those need to be squished together because it’s actually becoming hard to read that way. When usually we break things up to make them easier to read.

And I agree that the opening voiceover doesn’t really have much to do with that. And neither does what she say – I’m going to read what she says. So, the opening line, while we’re watching all this music festival visual stuff is, “Today is the last Saturday before high school graduation. My friends were all stuck in detention while I was lounging at my subdivision pool.” Ok. I’m going to stop there. Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff.

Then, here’s the last line, “I chickened out like almost immediately because I don’t like tight spaces.” Smash to black. Title card: Music Festival. I don’t know what that has to do with that. I don’t know what the – I don’t know what either of the handles on that speech have to do with the things before and after them.

And if you’re going to throw to a title, kind of needs to feel purposeful and ironic or reflective or something.

**John:** A big problem I had with the first sentence is, “Today is the last Saturday before high school graduation. My friends were all stuck in detention.” Wait, so is this present tense narration or past tense narration? And it managed to be both in the first two sentences. So, you’re going to need to pick a tense for where her voiceover is at. Is she talking about what’s happening right in front of us, or is she talking like this is a thing that happened?

Later on, she’s decided to stick with sort of present tense narration. So she’s talking about all these people in the present tense. So, that’s great, but if you’re going to do that, do it throughout the whole thing. I also felt like, again, these first sort of single lines that are setting up the music festival, the last two of those, “This is Tehachapi, CA. Population: 8,451 Population this weekend: 72,107.” That’s kind of interesting, but it would be more interesting to have somebody say that than just to read it in a script.

**Craig:** It’s trivia otherwise. It’s just a random trivia fact.

**John:** It’s a trivia fact. So, if you’re going to use that, I would say just put that in dialogue or find a way to make that speakable, because it’s not doing anybody any service by putting it in the scene description right there.

**Craig:** Yeah. Then we get into the body of these pages which is an iteration of her friends and a description of her friends. There is a high degree of difficulty for this. And the reason there is is because you’re telling us who people are. And generally speaking we like finding out who people are. Unless they are a menagerie of interesting side characters. You know, like in Goodfellas you can kind of go, “That’s Tony Two-Times. He said every two times. And that was Maury blah, blah, blah, he wore a wig.” Then, OK, that’s fine because the whole point is I’m going to introduce you to a bunch of side people. They’re not important.

These people seem important. So, you’re just going to tell us who they are. You’re going to tell us everything about them. This is a massive info dump. And what – now, Alex makes it interesting because she’s clever. So, she’s clevering us, and that’s what I mean by mannered. For instance, “She’s my main chap from another mud flap.” That made me laugh. That’s really funny. I never heard that before. Maybe Alex invented that. It’s really funny. That’s not going to necessarily overcome the fact that you’re telling me everything about your relationship with her, who she is, what she wants. It starts to feel like I’m being force-fed something, like one of those ducks that’s being raised for foie gras.

**John:** You know where this voice would actually be amazing is honestly the YA novel version of this, where you actually are inside the character’s head and you’re right in Dylan’s head as she’s saying all these things. That would be great, honestly, and that would feel really natural. But here just sort of stop the movie just for these long chunks of voiceover from the main character who I think by the bottom of page three no one has said any lines to each other. It’s all just been her voiceover. And it’s just too frustrating here.

But, I do want to come back to like I think there’s really good lines within this. And so like I had high hopes that Alex can write dialogue because she can definitely – she has a voice for how these characters speak, and at least how Dylan speaks. I suspect she can have these characters talk to each other in ways that are really interesting. I would just like to see that, because I don’t think I was going to be enjoying the rest of just seeing Dylan’s point of view on this.

**Craig:** Well, one of the things that I was sort of desperate for, and it’s not here, is anything that makes me feel with Dylan. There’s actually – one of the remarkable things about this run where she’s describing her friends is how clinical it is. Everything that she says is clinical. There is no real emotion. In fact, there’s general denial of emotion. It’s this high irony, highly detached voice. Even when she gets to herself and she’s describing herself, it feels so dead inside.

And so that may be part of this character’s problem, but that’s a problem that I want to kind of come to experience, and also frankly I never really believe anyone is dead inside. They’re just hiding something. Right?

**John:** Sure.

**Craig:** I don’t even know what she’s hiding here, because I get no clue. So I actually don’t know how to relate to Dylan because I haven’t been given that little tiny piece of humanity. A little itsy bitsy bit of something that makes me go, ooh, I love you, or, ooh, I feel for you. Ooh, I’m worried about you. Nothing. I feel nothing for her. And I want to feel something. Even if it’s anger. I just want to feel something about your main character. And right now I don’t. Right now I just feel a kind of intellectual superficial cleverness, but no human underneath it. And that’s where I would attack this to start with, Alex.

Because you’re obviously smart. I mean, you can see the intelligence throughout, but the intelligence is kind of masking a little bit of something here I think.

**John:** Yeah. I do wonder if this is sort of stealth Stuart Special, in that we see this musical festival and then we’re actually jumping back to an earlier time. And if that is sort of what the play is, I would love to see Dylan at that music festival and we see something that is honest and real about her or genuine moment or there’s something that sort of clues us in there’s a real interesting character here, before we get to this sort of hardened cynical Dylan who we’re seeing voiceover for her friends. That might be an interesting contrast between the two of those. Because then there’s a question that I’m eager to answer.

**Craig:** Yeah. I agree. I mean, I was trying to think about movies that had these long runs in the beginning and I don’t know weirdly Ferris Bueller came to mind, because it does have such a long monologue. Now, it’s not voiceover. He’s talking to us. That automatically makes us more relatable. And he’s funny. And he just seem engaged with life. Actually the whole point of Ferris Bueller is that he’s so alive and he loves things. There’s like a double removal here, because what Dylan is saying feels removed emotionally, and then she’s not even saying it. She’s just thinking it and we’re staring at somebody floating, which makes it doubly removed.

So there’s just a cold distance. I want to feel more. So, Alex, make me feel more.

**John:** Aw, give Craig the feels.

**Craig:** Give me the feels. I don’t need all the feels. I just a feel. I need a feel.

**John:** Give Craig a feel.

**Craig:** Give me a feel. That sounds weird.

**John:** That sounds just horrible. But what does not sound horrible is our fantastic guest reader. So thank you again, Elizabeth Banks, for doing that for us.

**Craig:** Thanks E.

**John:** And that’s our Three Page Challenge for this week. So, if you have three pages that you want us to take a look at, the place you send that is johnaugust.com/threepage. There’s a little form you fill out. You attach a PDF. It goes into Godwin’s inbox and he will sort through them for us. So, thank you to the three writers who wrote in this week with your pages. You were very generous to share them with us and I hope that was helpful.

And it’s time for our One Cool Things. So, Craig, why don’t you start us off? Give us your One Cool Thing.

**Craig:** Sure. You know, I haven’t really talked about what this HBO miniseries is that we’re going to be doing. You know, I may be over where you are next year. Well, not France, but Europe. So, we might be doing a little swappy on this terrible time zone nightmare.

But one of the things we have to do is find ourselves a good filmmaker. And so I’ve been watching television, which as you know I never do. I don’t like watching stuff. But I was pointed at a couple miniseries. They are British miniseries, because we’re going to be based I think in London. And I have encountered this writer that I think everybody must have known about this guy, but I’m just discovering him.

So Jack Thorne is a British writer. He has written movies and he has written lots of television. And the two miniseries that I’ve seen that he’s done there, one I think is six episodes and one is four episodes. So they’re short run series. One is called The Last Panthers. And the other is called National Treasure. No relation to the Nicholas Cage movie here. Their National Treasure is the story of a beloved television personality in England who is late in life accused of a series of sexual assaults, sort of a la Cosby.

And they are brilliant. This guy – first of all, they couldn’t be more different. And they’re both brilliant. I’m kind of in awe of this guy. Jack Thorne. I don’t know how he does it. I’m watching these things and I’m just thinking, boy, is there any mistake here? Won’t he make a mistake? Won’t he upset me at least once? Even just as a matter of opinion. No. Absolutely wonderful work.

He is really, really good. Like if I ran a movie studio, I would say, “Hey Jack Thorne, write a movie. Just write a movie. I don’t care what it is. And we’re making it. If it costs under $50 million, so you don’t bankrupt my studio, we would make it.” I would make any movie this guy wrote. I just think he’s amazing.

**John:** Holy cow. That’s great.

**Craig:** Yeah. Jack Thorne. Jack Thorne is my One Cool Thing. Plus, that name. Jack Thorne.

**John:** Come on, it sounds like a spy hero.

**Craig:** Right? Thorne. Jack Thorne.

**John:** Good stuff. My One Cool Thing is a telephone. And, you know, I feel like over the past couple years innovation has really sort of died in phone making. Because it feels like every phone looks the same. It all sort of looks like an iPhone. Whether it’s a Samsung or whatever. They all basically look the same. They do the same kind of thing. They’re like these flat black pieces of glass that are magical. And it’s fine. I think we live in a time of wonder that we have such great phones. But I like it when there’s still some innovation out there.

So, this is the most innovative phone I’ve seen this week. It’s called Beat the Boss 3-in-1 J8 phone. And what’s remarkable about it is it’s incredibly small. So, it weighs 18 grams. It’s dimensions are 68mm by 23mm by 11mm. That’s smaller than many key fobs are. And it’s also 99 percent plastic. You might ask well why is that so good, like who wants a plastic phone that’s so small? And the answer is you could still lit up your butt. So it is a phone that is perfect for smuggling into prisons.

**Craig:** This is not cool.

**John:** It’s an innovative use of technology to serve a market that was being underserved. It’s like people who want to smuggle a phone into prison.

**Craig:** You’re not supposed to have phones.

**John:** Well, they’re not supposed to have phones, but that is a market and they see the market and they go after the market. And because it has very little metal in it, even a lot of the sort of X-ray detectors like the Boss can’t actually find it. The Boss being a chair kind of X-ray designed specifically for looking for phones up people’s butts.

**Craig:** That’s terrible. No. Because hold on a second. Some guy is going to get this key fob phone up his butt. He’s going to go into prison. He’s going to hand it over to another guy. And that guy is going to use that phone to call somebody on the outside to murder people. That’s why they use phones. Well, not all of them. But some of them. Someone is going to die because of this.

**John:** Theoretically someone could die because of this phone, but theoretically someone could die because of any phone. Like, we can’t outlaw all phones. And so this was a market that was underserved. I just think it’s fascinating that there is a–

**Craig:** Theoretically someone could die from any phone.

**John:** Yes. I’m doing the Bane defense.

**Craig:** I smuggled it up my butt. [laughs] Bane Craig is a whole new guy. I just want you to know that when I do Bane Craig voice I actually put my fingers over my – like I make a Bane mask for my own face.

**John:** It’s important because it not only mimics the sound, but it really gets you into character. You have to really feel like Tom Hardy being strangled while he says that. I’m also sort of bringing up the prison phone up the butt thing, I’ll put a link to the other sort of horrible thing that’s happening with prison phones now is the FCC is rolling back its protections on sort of prison phone price gauging. And so if you are trying to have a phone conversation with a person who lives in prison, the prices of a phone call into or out of prison are just absurd. And they should not be absurd. And it’s a weirdly profiteering way of dealing with people who are incarcerated.

**Craig:** Yeah. So that stinks. But also–

**John:** But a phone up your butt kind of stinks, too.

**Craig:** Ha-ha. Get it. Because it’s up my butt. Bane Craig was born on, what is today, March 7. So many different Craigs. So many.

**John:** Too many Craigs.

**Craig:** I don’t like the way you said too many.

**John:** Too many Craigs.

**Craig:** I said so many.

**John:** Too many Craigs.

**Craig:** You made it too many. Too many Craigs. Too many Craigs.

**John:** Our show is produced by Godwin Jabangwe. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week comes from Panic Moon. Oh, and it’s a good one. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send longer questions. For short questions, Craig is @clmazin. I am @johnaugust. We love to answer your little short questions on Twitter. We are on Facebook. Just look for the Scriptnotes podcast on Facebook. You should also search for us on iTunes and subscribe.

You can leave us a comment there. Occasionally we read through those comments and we love to see them. You’ll find the transcript for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find show note, the links to the Three Page Challenges will be there, too.

Reminder that if you want to send in a Three Page Challenge, you go to johnaugust.com/threepage to send that in. If you want to send something for the guide, a review of a previous episode, go to johnaugust.com/guide.

Longer questions, send in to ask@johnaugust.com.

You can get all the back catalog, including the previous Rian Johnson at Scriptnotes.net. And if we have a link to tickets, look for the show notes right now, because that link will tickets will be in the show notes. If they’re not there, it will be on Twitter as soon as we have it.

Craig, thank you for a fun show.

**Craig:** Thank you, John, and I’ll see you next week.

**John:** Cool. Bye.

Links:

* [ScriptShadow](http://scriptshadow.net/and-the-oscar-goes-to-here-you-read-it/)
* [Scriptnotes Listener Guide](http://johnaugust.com/guide)
* Three Pages by [John Lambert](http://johnaugust.com/Assets/JohnLambert.pdf)
* Three Pages by [Nathaniel Nauert](http://johnaugust.com/Assets/NathanielNauert.pdf)
* Three Pages by [Alexandra Gioulakis](http://johnaugust.com/Assets/AlexandraGioulakis.pdf)
* [Jack Thorne](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2113666/)
* [Beat The Boss 3-in-1 J8 phone](https://www.amazon.co.uk/J8-World-Smallest-Mobile-Phone/dp/604016994X/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8)
* [Prison Phones and the FCC](https://www.buzzfeed.com/zoetillman/the-fcc-has-stopped-defending-its-own-rules-lowering-the-cos?utm_term=.vnw3p0GZ8#.sjAXp79EW8)
* [John August](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) on Twitter
* [Craig Mazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) on Twitter
* [John on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/johnaugust/?hl=en)
* [Find past episodes](http://scriptnotes.net/)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Panic Moon ([send us yours!](http://johnaugust.com/2014/outros-needed))

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