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Scriptnotes, Episode 669: They Ate Our Scripts, Transcript

January 8, 2025 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to episode 669 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, the revelation that many of the biggest AI models have been trained on film and TV dialogue has writers up in arms. How should we think about this moment-and-coming AI fights? We’ll discuss the options. Plus, we’ll have listener questions and feedback on contracts and bailing on a project.

In our bonus segment from premium members, Craig, you frequently say that we are living in a simulation.

Craig: Yes.

John: Does that mean that you are a theist who believes in a creator? We’ll discuss the philosophical implications of this dynamic.

Craig: Fair question.

John: All right, fair. First, we have some follow-up. Drew, help us out. Let’s go back to episode 666 a few weeks ago where we talked about satanic movies.

Drew Marquardt: Steve writes, “I have a slightly more detailed answer to Emily’s question about the difference between thriller and horror. Thrillers scare us with the fear of death, usually in a gruesome manner like being cut with a knife or slashed by the claws of a beast. I would say that slasher is just a subgenre of thriller that is maximally bloody and usually involves a maniac with a blade, hence the name.

Horror films often involve the fear of death, but more importantly, the fear of losing your humanity or soul. Being turned into an undead vampire, werewolf, zombie, et cetera, is its own type of death.

As John pointed out, the first alien movie was horror in space because the thought of being turned into a host for an alien offspring and being alive while it’s growing inside you is a true horror, and then the darn thing is born and it’s game over, man. Just losing your humanity like Kurtz in Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now is enough for him to utter the famous line, ‘The horror, the horror.'”

Craig: I appreciate the thoroughness of this theory, and I like the way it’s circled back around to Heart of Darkness, but yeah I don’t know if I agree.

John: I think any time you’re trying to establish a clear taxonomy between genres, between categories of things, you’re going to run into some messy things. What I like about what Steve did here is he talked about there are a lot of movies that are clearly thrillers that are not horror films, and they involve peril in a way, and sometimes physical peril, but sometimes it’s getting your adrenaline up in those ways, versus horror films, which there’s sort of a seeping dread quality to horror that is different than what you find in a thriller necessarily.

Craig: Yes, I think it was just a little too narrow on thriller because thrillers adrenalize you in so many different ways. They don’t always involve the fear of being slashed or dying.

John: There’s a peril, something’s in threat, but it’s maybe not your own life.

Craig: Right. Did I mention that movie, Flightplan, last time?

John: Oh, yes, we did.

Craig: I don’t know why I keep coming back to Flightplan of all. Because the thing is, it’s a great idea for a movie. It wasn’t my favorite execution, to be fair, but I love the concept of it, and that’s a great thriller. Someone’s gaslighting you into believing that you didn’t have a kid, but your kid is lost. There’s no fear of death there. You’re not afraid of your own life. You’re more just– it’s a paranoia thriller.

Drew: It’s a remake of a Hitchcock movie.

Craig: Is it?

Drew: The Lady Vanishes.

Craig: You’re kidding. I never put that together.

John: Sure.

Craig: Oh, you know what, everything comes back to Hitchcock.

John: It does all come back to Hitchcock.

Craig: He’s very good at thrilling you.

John: Let’s talk about some generational narcissism. LaWant wrote in with us.

Craig: Wait, I need to know if that’s– sorry, is that narcissism? Oh, I remember.

John: Yes, I think you made up that term last time.

Craig: Okay, because when I heard it, when you just said it, I thought, well, somebody’s narcissism is so profound. It’s like a generational narcissism. Once every 20 years, someone is so narcissistic. Okay, let’s talk about generational.

John: Once every 20 years, there’s a generation born that is narcissistic.

Craig: Now we can talk about the generational narcissism.

Drew: Yes, this one had to do with everyone thinking their generation was the last or the end of the world.

Craig: Yes, of course.

Drew: The last episode, Craig was looking for a word or phrase to describe how every generation assumes they’re the last one. He came up with generational narcissism. Here’s my suggestion for another one. Temporal solipsism. We can see the past, but we can’t see the future, so part of us assumes it doesn’t exist.

Craig: There’s a running theme here. People are just complicating stuff that we’ve said.

John: Absolutely.

Craig: We’re actually pretty good at this. We did a very good definition last time, I think, of thriller and horror. I think generational narcissism is a little more accessible than temporal solipsism. Solipsism means nobody else exists.

John: Yes, that’s the problem. I think the challenge with solipsism is like me as an individual is the only thing that has meaning or could ever be known. Really we’re talking about a cultural sense that we are all together at the end times. That we are the last generation.

Craig: Thinking that you’re somehow special or important is not solipsistic. It’s narcissistic. I stand by my words.

John: All right.

Craig: That said, we encourage feedback.

John: Yeah the subtle distinction between solipsism and narcissism is something we’ll get into in Episode 1053 of Scriptnotes.

Craig: You say that, and then what’s going to happen is we’re going to get there.

John: Absolutely. Someone’s taking a note right now. “You said you would do this in 1053.”

Craig: “You guys.”

John: “You guys.”

Craig: “You guys.”

John: Unlike Craig, I do recognize that people do listen to the show.

Craig: I had no idea.

John: We got an email from a mutual friend who was talking about running into another big-name writer who referenced a very specific thing mentioned on one specific episode of Scriptnotes.

Craig: Can we just say who it is?

John: Yes, we can say who these guys are.

Craig: You could say who both of them are. It was Taffy Brodesser-Akner, and she ran into the living legend, Tony Gilroy. Now, I’m still suspicious. I don’t think Tony Gilroy he listens to– I don’t know.

John: He listens to at least the Moneyball Episode because he referenced a thing that was specifically mentioned in the Moneyball Episode.

Craig: Somebody probably said, “Hey, go listen to the Moneyball Episode.” I can’t imagine that Tony Gilroy was like, “Hold on, let me–”

John: How do they have time?

Craig: “I got to put Andor on pause for a second, listen to a debate over what makes a thriller and what makes a horror movie.”

John: Now, there’s an equally valid way of saying Tony Gilroy was eating at a restaurant and ran into the legendary Taffy Brodesser-Akner.

Craig: Yes, although by her telling, it seemed more the other way.

John: That’s because it was her telling him. Therefore, she’s always going to place herself in the inferior role to someone she admires.

Craig: Opposite of generational narcissism. Generational core shame. I’ve never actually met Tony in person. I’ve been on some email chains and things with him, but I do know his brother, Dan. I’ve spent a little bit of time with his brother, Dan, who’s a lovely guy and also brilliant. Some pretty good storytelling genetics over there in the Gilroy clan.

John: I guess so. They didn’t grow tall, but they grew smart.

Craig: They’re not short, as far as I can tell. I don’t recall them being short.

John: No, but I would say they didn’t grow tall genetics. Let them be like, “Oh, they’re a family of basketball players.”

Craig: No. No, they are not. This is rarer, to be honest. Tony Gilroy, that guy’s good.

John: He’s good.

Craig: Oof.

John: A thing you learn all now on the Scriptnotes podcast is that Tony Gilroy, the Emmy Award-nominated and Oscar-winning probably.

Craig: Wildly celebrated. Do you think that he’s just finally figuring it out now, listening to us like, “I am good”?

John: “Wait, I am good. This inferiority complex I’ve been carrying around this entire time, this imposter syndrome that I’ve been living with, maybe because John and Craig are saying, ‘Tony Gilroy, you’re good.'” This is a podcast about how good Tony Gilroy is.

Craig: It is now.

John: It is now. Let’s do some more follow-up on how Hollywood got old. This was Episode 664. We were talking about how there used to be these young studio heads and you just don’t see young people running Hollywood anymore.

Drew: Yes, and so the one episode I was gone, Craig, you talked about the lack of ambition amongst young people in Hollywood today.

Craig: You timed it perfectly.

Drew: Scriptnotes the producer.

Craig: Yes, because you just weren’t ambitious enough to show up that day. [chuckles]

Drew: Clearly. Well, a few of our listeners had my back.

Craig: Okay, here we go.

Drew: Alyssa wrote in. She said, “I just turned 37 and while I would describe myself as incredibly ambitious my whole life, my hardcore f the rules career ambition took off only a couple of years ago. The reason this has come so late is simple. Student loans. Unlike the generation of hustlers before us, we also had monthly loan payments of $1,200. To cover this, I worked two jobs, one full-time and one part-time at night. These loan payments almost completely exhausted the ambition out of me. I did manage to get into a production company by swinging one day a week as an unpaid intern, but they cut my position in favor of those who wanted it more because they could afford to put in more days.

Everything changed when I married a man with a steady teaching job and parents who could afford to send him to college. As soon as I was able to share finances, I could drop down to one job and just like that, my career took off. Suddenly, I’m proud of the ways I’m figuring out how to get my work out there despite a slow market. I’m not waiting. I’m grabbing the industry by the throat in all the ways I couldn’t 10 years ago.

I’m not giving you excuses. I’m simply pointing out one reason why my generation may look stunted to those older than us. The drive is there. The ambition is there. But many of us are slaves to a debt we didn’t realize we’d be paying for the rest of our lives when we took it on in 17.”

Craig: I love when people say, “I’m not giving you excuses.” Here, however, is a reason why — that’s called an excuse. There’s nothing wrong with excuses. Why did that become a bad word?

John: I know. Why did excuses become such a pejorative? Excuse is an exclamation.

Craig: You’re excused. It’s like you’re pardoned of a crime. That’s what an excuse is. I’m sure this is what she was hoping the answer would say. Did you have student loans, John?

John: I did not have student loans, but I went to an inexpensive school.

Craig: I had student loans. I don’t know why. The premise of this seems to me that student loans just suddenly popped into existence or something. They’ve been around forever. I had student loans to pay off. They’ve always been there. The cost of education has gotten insane. Now, some schools, my alma mater, for instance, have eliminated all loans. Whatever you can’t afford, they just grant you. There is no more loans. In my case, I had to work and pay off loans. Sometimes when we talk about these things, there’s a temptation for somebody to go, “Whoa, I’m being judged.”

“If I’m not in charge of a studio, then you’re telling me that’s my fault because I’m not ambitious.” That’s not why. Here’s why. Almost no one can be in charge of a studio. I just want to be clear. This is not about you, this is about us in the aggregate.

John: I think we’re also talking about slightly different things. We’re talking about aspiring screenwriters versus aspiring like, “I’m going to run a studio.” One thing is that I think we were– I don’t remember exactly what we talked about, but the same young people who were running studios back in the day, I think are not working in this industry. I think they’re working in tech and they’re working in other places.

Craig: That may be true.

John: I think that’s the missing piece that I’m finding here.

Craig: A lot of variables, but I think part of the problem is a self-perpetuating cycle. When you look and see who’s running a studio, that’s who you presume should be running a studio. In this case, it’s a bunch of people who are our contemporaries. Donna Langley, for instance. People who are 23 are going to look at Donna Langley and go, “You’re supposed to be Donna Langley’s age when you do this, you’re not supposed to be mine.” There did seem to be a little bit more flexibility and attraction to wunderkinds.

Another thing that probably made a huge difference that has nothing to do with ambition is how Hollywood is owned. Because when we entered the business, a lot of these studios were still their own companies. They hadn’t become the massive international multi-conglomerates. In that case, risk aversion starts to set in. If you’re just Columbia, why not? Wing it, go for it. If you are part of the Sony Corporation, maybe not.

John: It’s also reminding me of the conversations we had around Pay Up Hollywood and all the issues of those entry-level jobs being so woefully underpaid in Hollywood and the work that we did to try to make sure we were increasing those two survival wages is that the two jobs Alyssa was taking, she should have been able to get one job in the industry that was able to cover her rent and give her the experience that she wanted. Increasingly, for a period of time, and still today, it’s really challenging to do that. The people who can afford to take those jobs, that’s not the breadth of people we would love to see rise up in the industry and kick ass.

Craig: Yes, I completely agree. Life is complicated now. There are a lot of bills that you and I never had to pay. We never had an internet bill. We weirdly had phone bills. They were so much cheaper than cell phone bills.

John: We also had long distance though, which is a weird thing to pay for separately.

Craig: That’s why we never called anyone, or that we would make all our calls at work. “Press nine to get an outside line.” Oh yes, sneaking in– did you ever get in trouble for making long-distance calls at work? I did.

John: I did not. But I do remember a friend calling me who had figured out a scam long-distance calling card number. He was just calling me because he didn’t really necessarily want to talk to me. He just wanted the scammability.

Craig: Free minutes?

John: Yes, free minutes.

Craig: At three minutes, I got to go talk to somebody or I’m wasting my crime. I remember getting called into the office in my first workplace, just a small advertising company. They were like, “Your extension, you’ve called a number of these, and it’s added up to $40 or $50.” Which, as a percentage of my weekly salary, was significant. It was a real problem.

John: Now Drew, does any of this resonate with you? Because you grew up in a time post long distance, but you were living overseas, so there probably were still costs for calling home.

Drew: I’m trying to think. No, I had Skype by the time I was overseas.

Craig: Skype?

Drew: Skype was basically free.

Craig: What were you stealing from work then?

Drew: Pens.

Craig: Pens? Physical pens?

John: Yes, it’s just not worth as much.

Craig: Drew, you might’ve been stealing funds. Just fully embezzling.

Drew: Yes, just absolutely.

Craig: Funds? I was stealing funds.

John: We had a writer from Australia write in to say that the opposite phenomenon was happening there.

Drew: Anonymous Down Under says, “The situation here in Australia is an interesting flip of this. When the major international streamers all set up shop here over the last three to five years, they uniformly put young, relatively inexperienced people in charge of their Australian branches. This in turn uniformly pissed off all the established producers and creators because they felt, sometimes legitimately, sometimes not, that they were pitching to someone much more junior than them.

On a more existential level, we had all these Gen Xers suddenly terrified that they had been superseded before they’d had a chance to achieve anything. As it turned out, all the major greenlight decisions still got made out of the US anyway, and everyone got used to the idea that a young person might actually have some good ideas after all.”

Craig: Well, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Obviously, everybody’s cranky about everything. One of the things about a limited resource industry is that people will immediately start blaming each other for the reason why they’re not getting the resource. The reason they’re not getting the resource is because there aren’t anywhere near enough. In this case, we’re talking about writing jobs or getting a show on a streamer. It’s a one-in-a-million shot anyway. Yes, you could blame the young person. You could feel it’s an indignity. I think if you’re in Generation X and you’re saying, “This has happened before I even had a chance to do something,” you’re in your 50s. We got to go start to shuffle aside for the kids at some point.

John: The first time you’re working with someone and for somebody who’s younger than you, it’s a little bit jarring, but you get past it, you get through it.

Craig: I also think that if somebody’s smart, it doesn’t really matter. I think it’s cool. I also think sometimes when I’m working– I’ve been in situations where I’ve been writing something and there’s a couple of executives that- actually, all the executives that I work for at HBO I think are a bit younger than me. One of them is very young. I never think like, “This is nonsense.” No. I just think sometimes it’s a benefit because when I was 26 and the person I was working for was 50, they looked at me like, “You’re a kid.” I looked at them like, “You’re my dad.”

Now I think sometimes people that are younger are like, “Oh, here’s the calming older presence here who’s been around a lot.” It’s a little harder for them to say, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I don’t mind it. Do you have any weirdness at all?

John: No, I think sometimes I need to watch what I’m saying that in no way sounds patronizing or it sounds like, “Young whippersnapper, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” That I know what I’m doing here. Also I feel like they’re coming to me with the expectation that I do know what I’m doing in these circumstances.

Craig: I do think if you trotted out “Young whippersnapper,” they wouldn’t even know what that means.

John: Yes, absolutely. Completely.

Craig: “Sorry, the what now?”

John: Absolutely. Monty Burns is sort of a–

Craig: The jumping on TikTok, “What is whippersnapper?”

John: Hope back in my stagecoach.

Craig: Even the fact that I said jumping on TikTok. God.

John: Cringe.

Craig: If my kids could hear me now, they’d barf.

John: There’s really nothing more cringe than cringe though.

Craig: Cringe is the cringiest. We’re recording this the day after Thanksgiving.

John: Yes, so this will come out two weeks after.

Craig: Is Amy home? Did you have Amy here?

John: No, it’s so bizarre to have my kids going to visit her friends in the UK because like, “Oh, it’s just a long weekend, so I’m going to go visit her friends in the UK.”

Craig: My youngest daughter, Jessica, is here in town and we combine Thanksgiving with another family and they have three daughters. One is in the UK, but the two that came are both high school age, senior and freshman, I think. I’ve never felt older in my life. I’ve actually gone so far around that I’m kind of cute. It’s funny how out of touch I am. They like it.

John: It’s always fun when she’ll like drop a name of some celebrity and it’s like, “Do you know this?” I could just quickly Google and provide context, but I will honestly answer like, “I have no idea who that person is.”

Craig: That’s cool. I think sometimes if you try, that’s where it gets cringe. Stay in your lane. Stay in your lane, dad, be dad. They kind of want that.

John: All right. All right, well, let’s get me fully back in my lane here because we have some AI to talk about. AI and screenwriters to talk about. This all blew up, now as you’re hearing this a couple of weeks ago. This is Alex Reisner writing for The Atlantic, has this article saying, “I can now say with absolute confidence that many AI systems have been trained on TV and film writers’ work, not just The Godfather and Alf, but more than 53,000 other movies and 85,000 other TV episodes.

Craig: Sorry, did he say not just The Godfather and Alf?

John: Yes, he was trying to provide, I think, the broad edges of the framework, or maybe that was related to the prior paragraph which I omitted.

Craig: Oh God, I hope so, because what a weird way to just start.

John: What a lead.

Craig: “Not just The Godfather or Alf.” Okay, fair.

John: “These models have been trained on more than 53,000 other movies and 85,000 other TV episodes. Dialogue from all of it is included in the AI training data set that’s been used by Apple, Anthropic, Meta, Nvidia, Salesforce, Bloomberg, and other companies.

Craig: Great. Great. Oh, fantastic.

John: You might think like, “Oh, they just scoured the internet and they found all the screenplays,” because you can find screenplays for everything, but instead, this is actually taken from opensubtitles.org.

Craig: I had a feeling.

John: What they do is, they extract subtitles from DVDs, Blu-ray discs, internet streams. Sometimes they’re just using OCR to actually see what’s on screen, and they’re uploading to this big database so you can find the subtitles for whatever episode or thing is. You can criticize that for existing.

Craig: Sure.

John: But it’s also useful for translations for people who want to see things in other languages. It’s out there in the world. Basically, these models sucked it up and used that for training data, and you can see why it’s useful for training data, because it’s just dialogue, it’s just people speaking to each other. You have the context for what it is. It doesn’t have all the other goop around it. It’s well-formed. Honestly, our podcast is two people talking to each other. It’s probably useful for training data for stuff.

Craig: Great. Can we get them working? Can we get that going for next week?

John: I want to talk about this legally, ethically, philosophically, and how we as writers probably do feel about it and what things can be done about it.

Craig: That second question’s the fun one, isn’t it?

John: Let’s talk about your emotional reaction to this and what this makes you feel like.

Craig: Well, I think I’ve probably felt all the immediate feelings in the past. What I feel like now is a sense of general resignation. I feel like the guy in Tiananmen Square, “No, tanks, stop.”

In the end, people who are only familiar with that photograph don’t realize that, no, I don’t think that man died, but the protesters lost and lost permanently. I don’t know how to stop any of this. I don’t think it can be stopped. We are probably baited into arguing about it and then AI will take transcripts of our arguments and learn from them.

John: I think a lot of writers and some writer friends of ours– Robert King was on some podcasts talking about how he was feeling about it. I think a lot of people are in those earlier stages and they’re feeling a lot of the feelings. I want to talk about the feelings. I think the feelings are valid, and then also talk about what can actually be done and how not to get baited into the wrong fights over it. Let’s start with, I think a lot of writers feel angry. When you hear why they’re angry, they’ll say, “It’s theft. This is theft.” If someone steals your car, that’s theft. If someone makes a bootleg copy of your movie and sells it, that’s copyright infringement, which could be a criminal act. There’s also civil penalties for that.

As we’ve talked about on the show, when someone steals your idea for a heist film set during the Iditarod, that’s not really theft in the same way. This could be closer to that third thing where it’s like they’re not taking your– as we described, unless you are actually taking the expression of those ideas rather than just the idea itself, unless you’re using that expression of ideas and showing that stuff, it’s going to be very hard to make a case against it.

Craig: Well, when people talk about theft, who do what we do, my general response is, you’re talking about somebody stealing something you don’t own because you gave it away because you took the money. What we do, we don’t own the copyright and the companies do. It’s their property.

John: It is.

Craig: This came up when Napster came around back in the late ’80s, early ’90s. Then following that, all the file-sharing services like LimeWire and so forth, and then BitTorrent. Everybody was panicked that everybody was going to steal everything. Writers were upset that their residuals were going to go away. I just remember thinking, “Well, if the companies that own this stuff don’t care, then it’s all over.” But generally, they do.

John: They do.

Craig: This is one of those times where I think we get to hide behind the monster we’re usually fighting, because if there is some compensation for this, it’s the studios. They’re going to have to figure it out. Problem is some of those studios, I think, don’t care. Apple, I don’t think they care. I don’t think they care. I don’t think Amazon cares. I think they’re probably into it. I think they’re probably sitting there going, “Well, what if we could replace all these people?” If that happens, if the studios are willful collaborators in this theft so that they can enable the tech industry to replace all the humans, then nothing matters anyway. It’s over.

John: A model of an industry coming up and pushing back against this, we were listening to those examples of songs that were generated from AI models that listen to a bunch of songs and could recreate it. Give me something that feels like a surfy kind of thing. It’s like, “Oh, that’s exactly a Beach Boys song.” It has a lyrics of a Beach Boys song. Those examples are so clear cut, much harder to find examples of that in our texts. Doesn’t mean we won’t happen, but it’s harder to do this. That’s going to be the interesting thing if they decide to go after it, which they might.

Craig: For the case of songs, artists do own the copyright to the publishing, to the lyrics and the music itself, not the recordings, although some artists do. It’s a more complicated situation. Individual stars can go after these people, I suppose, like Taylor Swift could probably do that. If people are going to go through Big Fish and they’re going to go through The Last of Us and they’re just going to scrape it and teach it to a thing so it could write Big Fish 2 or a Last of Us spinoff, if HBO or Sony, Warner Brothers or Sony, if they don’t care enough to stop that from happening or sue somebody, it’s happening.

John: Yes. Individually, we’re not going to be able to do anything about it. Let’s talk about a different thing which gets conflated with it, which is plagiarism. Vince Gilligan, who’s on the show, was a great episode when he came to speak with us. He described generative AI systems as basically, “An extraordinarily complex and energy-intensive form of plagiarism,” which is such a great quote for this. Plagiarism is interesting because it’s not a criminal thing. Plagiarism is a moral thing. It’s a set of rules we’ve agreed upon. Institutions will have ways to define plagiarism and enforce them.

Plagiarism is generally representing someone else’s ideas as your own without proper attribution. If you could put a quote in from somebody, that’s great. You take away those quotation marks and the citation, that’s plagiarism. It’s useful to think about these AI systems as if you were to use them to generate some text, it could be plagiarized and you’d have no way of knowing that it was plagiarized. You’d have no way of actually checking to see what that is from. It could string together the words that are actually someone else’s expression of that thought and idea and it’s really hard to know where it came from.

Craig: Which is also the case with regular plagiarism.

John: Yes, it is.

Craig: Plagiarism is immoral for that very reason. AI doesn’t pretend to not be plagiarism. They advertise their plagiarism. That’s the whole point.

John: I would say the plagiarism though, again, it’s the taking someone else’s idea and saying that it’s your own.

Craig: Which they do. Because look, when the Beastie Boys put out Paul’s Boutique and they originally had Paul’s Boutique, they just didn’t credit all the 4 billion samples they made. Everybody was like, “Yo, there’s A, the legal question of whether or not you can use this. B, you’re kind of pretending you made this.”

John: To me, Paul’s Boutique though, there’s a legal question there because of sampling. Because you could say this is directly–

Craig: It was both. There was a sample there and that was a whole legal thing, and they did have to end up crediting all these people. There was also just an ethical, plagiaristic question. Do the Beastie Boys, are they representing that they came up with this groove? Are they out there saying– Look, now, Paul’s Boutique’s awesome. They didn’t want to plagiarize and they did say, “Okay, sure, we’ll do all this.” They were young and they didn’t really care. I think that, yes, AI is essentially plagiaristic because the detailed training– when you say, “Okay, I’m going to feed you every Robert Frost poem. Now, give me a Robert Frost poem.”

John: It gives me the Robert Frost poem. The generation of that fake Robert Frost poem is the plagiarism.

Craig: Yes. Correct.

John: It’s the output that is plagiarism, not the input that’s plagiarism.

Craig: Correct. It’s the output.

John: That’s one of the decisions I want to make here is that training the model it may not be plagiarism. It’s the outputting anything from it.

Craig: It’s the output. No question. No question. Now, if AI had an ethical component to it, which would have to be imposed by law to identify everything that it did as AI and to say, “This is not a Robert Frost poem, or somebody that’s writing poetry that sure is awesome like Robert Frost, but rather this is an AI emulation of Robert Frost,” fine. I get that. I think that’s probably not plagiarism because it’s about acknowledgment.

John: Well, except that if I say it’s not a Robert Frost poem, but it would say like you’d have to cite the source of where it’s coming from or at least–

Craig: I don’t think so. I think that like specific citations is about academic rigor. The key with plagiarism is to say, “I’m acknowledging that I borrowed this and this rather,” than trying to pass it off as my own.

John: I get that.

Craig: If you acknowledge it, I think you’re out of plagiarism town and you’re also opening yourself up for people to properly evaluate and say, “You didn’t actually just do this by yourself. You read every single thing and then did this.” I think, honestly, if a human reads every Robert Frost poem and then writes a poem-

John: In the style of Robert Frost.

Craig: -as an homage, that’s not plagiarism. But the fact is there is not a human involved. Since it is only the text and nothing else, no life experiences or anything, it just gets much clearer to me that it is.

John: All right. Getting back to the feelings of all this, we have, “This is theft, this is plagiarism, or this is training something to be a replacement for my work.” That I described initially as the Nora Ephron problem. Imagine you fed all of Nora Ephron’s scripts into one of these systems and say, “Now give me a new Nora Ephron script.” That feels really wrong. It will continue to feel really wrong for me because you are taking a writer’s work and generating just a fake version of Nora Ephron in a way that’s calculated and it feels gross and Nora Ephron is no longer alive to be competing, but like I am alive and you are alive.

If they say like, “Here are all these John August scripts, give me a John August script,” I’m suddenly competing against a version of John August who can work 24/7 and generate a million different scripts. That’s unfair competition. That’s what–

Craig: It’s not competition at all. You’ve lost. This is where I stand aside, I think from a lot of people when they’re like– because the silent phrase that is in front of, “They’re training, our own replacement” is “You don’t understand.” Oh no, I understand. What am I supposed to do about it? There’s nothing I can do about it. we can all be John Henry and like, “Look, I can pound these railroad ties,” or whatever he’s doing as fast as that steam engine. John Henry died at the end of that story. Steam engine goes on pounding the railroad spikes.

John: John Henry is the Tiananmen Square guy.

Craig: We are all John Henry here. There’s nothing we can do. People say these things like, “If only people understood that we were training our own replacements, they would rise up and…” What?

John: What would they do?

Craig: Yes. Like when you say it’s calculated and it feels gross. Yes. That’s what corporations do. That’s how we got Lunchables.

John: You just described capitalism.

Craig: That’s the whole thing. That’s why they’re successful. They don’t have the qualms that regular people have. If it’s going to happen, it’s because it’s what people want. In the end, this is all driven by a marketplace. If people go, “You know what, actually, I’m fine. Oh yes, give me AI Friends. It’s fine, I’ll watch it. It’s fun. It’s almost as good as the real thing. In fact, it’s better.” Then we’re done.

John: I want to separate two things out there. Giving me AI Friends, our work isn’t just being trained to create the fake versions of what we do. It’s actually being trained so the models can do all the other stuff. Like having Alexa be able to speak back to you in a more natural way does come from all the training that’s been done on dialogue. It’s not just about directly replacing the work that we’ve been doing. It’s part of a bigger–

Craig: Yes, also we may encounter something that AI does that was prompted as “Give me a romantic comedy written in the style of John August,” that you will watch and not know it was prompted by that.

John: Oh, totally.

Craig: It will seem original even to you. If these things are to pass, then it’s over. The whole reason copyright law exists in the first place is to protect artists so that there can be some innovation. The best argument that we can probably make against AI at some point is if you do this to the extent that this is no longer a job, you’re going to run out of stuff to train them on. They’re just going to turn into a loop of self-training and it will flatten out and go nowhere.

John: Maybe, and that’s a strong possibility, but it’s a question of when does running out of that data really slow the progress and is there a different way that they can progress beyond that? Because at a certain point it may not matter that much.

Craig: Then it really doesn’t matter.

John: Well, summarize for– I want to validate and sit with what it feels like to be a writer in this moment. You can feel anger and indignation because this is a violation. This is a theft. It feels like plagiarism. That sort of sense. If you’d asked me whether you could train on my stuff, I probably would have said no, but at least you didn’t even ask me.

Craig: It’s not yours.

John: It’s not mine. In some cases, some writers, it is their stuff.

Craig: That is a different deal. Yes, that’s a different deal.

John: I think writers feel threatened that this thing could replace them, and also powerless, which is what you’re describing there. It’s a sense that we have no agency in this fight.

Craig: We don’t.

John: We don’t. I want to propose a thought experiment. Let’s say that you’re one of these writers who’s feeling all these feelings, but you were able to peer inside the LLM and say like, “Oh, wow, actually, none of my work was used to train this.” If you actually realized like, “Oh, none of my stuff is there.” In the case of this most recent thing, anything written after 2018 isn’t in there. Does it really change how you feel?

Craig: No.

John: It doesn’t. That’s why I think “They’re training the model based on my stuff” isn’t necessarily as big a thing to be focused on.

Craig: It’s not an objection over an individual violation. It’s an objection over how our vocation is being viewed, treated, and used. If they can do it to you, that means they can do it to me, so there’s a little bit of a selfish concern in there. Mostly, it just feels wrong and unfair, and I suspect we’re all looking at each other the way that welders did in Detroit right before the robots wheeled in. What can you do though? This is one area where I think we have to all look at each other and realize that we are collectively complicit in creating the marketplace. We want to blame corporations.

I can say, yes, corporations don’t have qualms. They have no problem sitting there and injecting thousands of chemicals into something to create the Lunchable, which is– I’m obsessed with Lunchables because I love the name.

John: I’ve never had a Lunchable in my life. I know what they are, but I’ve never eaten one.

Craig: It’s terrifying. But here’s the thing, people like Lunchables. If they didn’t, then Lunchables would have failed. The corporations are venal and greedy and have no morals, but it’s only in pursuit of giving us what we seem to want. Now, the consumer base, a lot of times, is not aware of what they want because there are things they don’t know they want.

John: Absolutely.

Craig: There are things that haven’t existed yet that they were just unaware of, and then suddenly, boop, there they are, and then everybody goes crazy over them. This is an us problem. We like cheap things. We like cheap things, and we like things fast, and we like variety.

John: We’d rather have sugar than a difficult-to-digest thing. They are wired for that, and so I think sometimes this stuff that comes out of AI does feel like sugar. It’s like it solves this immediate hunger really quickly.

Craig: We play D&D every week. We typically will have Doritos. Cool Ranch Doritos…

John: Incredible. What an achievement.

Craig: That team of scientists should get a Nobel Prize and also probably be put to death for what they have done. That flavor powder is astonishing to this day, and it’s been decades now, but I still remember when that blue bag came out, and I was like, “Oh, what’s the new thing?”

John: Craig, you and I are old enough that we grew up at a time when ranch dressing became a thing.

Craig: Yes. Ranch dressing was the proprietary dressing of Hidden Valley Ranch, an actual ranch.

John: Yes, so amazing. Incredible.

Craig: I know.

John: All right, let’s talk legally and philosophically this moment that we’re at. Legally, the copyright questions are still TBD, so it’s unclear whether it’s fair use to ingest this material. I would separate the ingesting of material versus outputting stuff that was based on material. We don’t know whether the material generated by LLMs can be copyrighted. Right now, no-ish, but it really becomes a question of, well, how much of that was outputted from this model, if that’s tough. There are going to be situations like the music examples before, which are just so blatant that, well, of course, that’s a violation, but other stuff could be more subtle.

The question that legally, whether this is unfair competition, restraint of trade, that’s a live ball. The FTC and the new administration, I don’t see them tackling this.

Craig: Any administration, it doesn’t matter, they’re not going to move fast enough. Every week, this changes, and the gears of federal justice are glacial. The legal venue that may make a difference, if any venue will make a difference, is Europe.

John: Agreed.

Craig: Now, Europe, they’re pretty severe about data protection. They’re pretty severe about advertising online and representations, truth and so forth, and clarity, misinformation, and I could certainly see them getting pretty deep in on this and pretty quickly. If you are Google, you don’t want to just not be able to be in Europe. That’s a problem. That’s a problem for all these guys. So that becomes an issue, but here’s the thing, Europeans like stuff too.

John: Also, I think we have this sort of understandable big corporate Western bias, but the same technologies that made OpenAI, or made Cloud, or made Google, can be done in China, can be done in other markets, and they exist free. There’s other models out there. The genie’s out of the bottle. It’s going to be there.

Craig: The only thing that’s centered on us in the West is that we are making a lot of content for the globe. It’s one of the few things that America makes that is devoured internationally on a large scale. Obviously, there are huge entertainment markets overseas, like in India and China, but if you compare, for instance, how many movies or television shows come out of Europe as opposed to the United States, it’s probably not even close. Yes, it is a thing. I don’t honestly know where it’s going to go. All I know is that we’re going to yell and scream about it a lot while we are conveyed towards our destiny.

Just imagine all of us on a moving platform yelling about it and debating what we should do and where we should go, and the platform just keeps moving towards its final destination.

John: One of the other big challenges legally is you think about, oh, there should be a court fight. Who is the injured party? Is the injured party the original writer? Is it the copyright holder? Is it society as a whole?

Craig: No. The society as a whole has no standing.

John: What is the proper court to even be deciding this in? We obviously think about US laws.

Craig: It would be almost certainly federal because that’s where copyright law is. The companies that own the IP, that’s what intellectual property law is designed to do.

John: Again, if they tried to go after that this was used– the ingesting portion of the phase, I think they’re not going to win. They have to be able to show the output phase as being the problem.

Craig: Which they would, but the amount of time it takes to do all that– Again, while you’re doing all of it, it just keeps going. Then the threat of a settlement keeps growing and growing. Who are you suing? Are you suing Google?

John: Yes.

Craig: Well, if you’re suing Google, that’s fine. Let’s say you’re Disney and you’re suing Google. At what point does it become easier for Google to just buy Disney? Where do we think Apple’s priorities are? Their handful of shows or their massive tech business? You can see the writing on the wall here.

John: Let’s move aside from legally and think philosophically and morally. Is it legal to scrape the internet? Is it philosophically moral to scrape the internet? Because, really, Google did this to create Google. Google searched everything. It’s impossible to actually Google the answer to, “Was it a controversy when Google scraped the internet?” Because I’m sure there were people who were freaking out about that because they’re like, “Wait, you’re reading my stuff and processing it and serving it up.” It’s not the same thing, but it’s analogous to the same thing.

Craig: Well, they were crawling and collecting, but they were really just collecting links. “Here’s a link to a page.” Then they were seeing how many other people linked to that page. That was their big page link. That was their big–

John: Well, they had to know what was on the page and do a bunch of sorting on that page to figure out like, what is this page really talking about?

Craig: Right. I don’t know if that was considered controversial at the time. I think everybody was just thrilled that Search worked. Of course, people that were making content on the internet, businesses in particular, were so excited that there was a way for somebody to find it.

John: Yes, because it was useful.

Craig: Yes. When you put stuff on a webpage, then how did you get people to go there? By giving them this endless long link that started H-T-T-P.

John: Or getting Yahoo to put it in the big category. The big-

Craig: Right. The list.

John: -catalog of everything, yes. A list of everything.

Craig: Yes. The phone book, right? I don’t know if anybody complained then. Is reading everything on the internet or handing it over to something, no, it’s perfectly fine. To me, that’s no more illegal than reading a book.

John: I think philosophically, “reading” and “copying”, how we feel about them really depends on where we’re sitting because I think the AI technologists will say, it’s reading.

Craig: It’s reading.

John: It’s reading. It’s reading a thing. It was like, “Oh, you’re making an illegal copy.” Every webpage you’ve ever visited is a copy of that webpage. You’re not actually pulling the original webpage.

Craig: Correct. You don’t make anything until you make something. If you said to people, “Listen, I’m building a large language model and I’m going to have it read everything you ever wrote, but it’s never going to write anything itself. It’s just reading because it likes to. If you want to come over and talk to it, you can, but it’s not going to write anything,” who would have a problem with this?

John: Some people would have a problem, but most people would not have a problem with it. Interesting counterexample here is Google Book Search. Google scanned hundreds of thousands, millions of books, and then it would show you a little excerpt from that book. Authors argued like, “It is taking away the value of my book because people can find what they want on that little book search and not actually have to get the book itself.”

Craig: I’m sure the book publishers would disagree and say, “Oh, no, no. No one was finding your book. Nobody was buying your book.” Now, 80 people bought it because Google Book Search led them there. Again, copyright’s a different situation there for novelists. For us, we are at the whims and mercies of the companies for whom we work, and they are either, in various levels, identical to tech because they are those companies, in bed with them or floating out on their own. The ones who are floating out on their own, I think, are the ones that are terrified right now, and probably looking for a tech buddy to join up with.

John: Yes. I’m hoping we still have some listeners who are still outraged. Who feel like this is outrageous and something has to be done because I would then prompt three questions: What do you want to see done, who do you want to see do it, and would the strategy be effective?

So, what do you want done? Do you want to shut down any model that’s been trained on this data? Do you want to compensate the writers whose work was included? Do you want to ban the future use of training off this or similar materials? Those are things you could ask for. You’re shaking your head. I don’t think they’re achievable.

Craig: No, they’re not achievable, nor would they even be enough because technology is just going to get around that. It’s like water. It’s going to figure out how to get where it needs to go, even if it has to carve a canyon through rock. Oh, we didn’t train it on your stuff. We trained it on this stuff that was trained on your stuff by somebody else who’s out of business now. That was free leave. There are so many ways for these companies to engage in f-ery. That’s F-dash-ery. I think we’re just kidding ourselves.

John: Yes. Honestly, I feel the same way I feel about the pandemic, which is that I feel some people who are so outraged and angry, it’s like, well, they want a time machine, and there’s just not a time machine. I can’t take you back to a time before the pandemic. I’m sorry you might’ve voted for this person because you believe it’s somehow going to take you back to 2019, but it won’t, and we’re still here, yes.

Craig: Yes. Now more than ever, I think it’s important to engage in the Serenity Prayer when we can.

John: “Worry about the things I can control,” to paraphrase.

Craig: Yes.

John: What’s in our control?

Craig: In this instance? The only thing, as far as I can tell, that is in our control as writers is whether or not we assign copyright to another company of original material that we’ve created. That’s it. That’s the only thing in our control, and that has always been the only thing in our control. Even as a union, that stuff, that collective bargaining, it’s also not really in our control.

John: No. I get frustrated because Kim Masters on this last episode of The Business was saying like, “I got to believe that the WGA should do something.”

Craig: Oh.

John: Kim–

Craig: I love her. She’s smart and everything, but the WGA is not going to be able to do anything here.

John: First off here, everything that could have been done, we did, and we did first. Writers are human beings, material generated by LLMs is not literary material. Writers cannot be forced to use LLMs. We are negotiating a contract with our employers. As far as our employer relationship, I think we’ve done everything we can. We should defend what we’ve done and make sure we don’t lose those protections.

Craig: We can expand it as maybe some f-ery occurs, but the WGA isn’t Batman, right?

John: No.

Craig: All they can do is control that contract. If the companies arrive at a place where they can create literary material that is of the same quality or, God help us, better than the stuff that we make as humans, there is no more WGA. It doesn’t matter. What are we supposed to do? Just argue over a contract that employs nobody because they’ve got the robots doing it? I just think when somebody says the WGA has to do something, they’re almost setting up someone to blame.

John: That’s really what I do feel like because it’s like, listen, the strike was not about this, but it was partially about this. I testified before the Office of Copyright and for the FTC. Our president testified before Congress. Do you want us to enter a giant lawsuit against somebody? That’s going to waste a bunch of money.

Craig: It’s not going to work. While we’re doing all of that, what will be is what will be. We don’t like these things, but if the rest of the world does, we lose the vote, and the market votes with its money.

John: I want to make sure we’re focusing on what things we can control. As a writer, you have the choice of what technologies you’re going to use and what technologies you’re not going to use. You can be smart about those things. It’s also, I think, good to make a set of policies for yourself and stick to those policies. If you’re never going to touch one of these systems, God bless you, stick with that and make a plan for that.

We should continue to fight for the protections that we already have. We need to keep ourselves educated about these things and defend the idea that art should be created by human beings is a noble thing to keep fighting for. Set professional standards for ourselves and others. I just think this is a dumb hill to die on. It’s just going to be a distraction from actual meaningful fights about the future of our labor.

Craig: The thing about hills to die on is you got to go have a chance to not die. This hill, this is Death Hill, right? It’s not that we don’t think it’s important enough to fight for, but there are things where you can just tell this toothpaste isn’t going back in the tube. In fact, we’re not even sure what’s about to come out of the tube. We have no idea. All we know is it keeps coming day by day. What’s going to happen is we’re going to take our stands and we’re going to be angry and we’re going to say our things. Then somebody that we really know and like is going to be like, “By the way, I just had this incredible interaction with AI and did this thing and it’s great. It actually is super, and culturally, just watch.”

What are you going to do? You’re going to just yell at cars all day long because you really loved horses?

John: No.

Craig: It’s not going to work. When it comes to protecting artists, I’m afraid that in our line of work, not painting or songwriting, but in our line of work – television and film – we are subject to the vicissitudes of our employers and their varying interests in whether or not they want to defend their own intellectual property. That’s what we got.

John: Yes. I think if you were to take all of our work out of the models, everything that a WJ writer has ever written, pull it out of the models and permanently ban it from all the models, the models would be slightly worse. A slightly worse AI would still eat your job.

Craig: Yes. Maybe they would just get to where they were going to get a little bit later.

John: A month.

Craig: That’s the part that’s really upsetting. This has been something that has happened throughout history. Typesetters must have been really pissed when word processing came along and just automated [crosstalk].

John: Yes. Automated that whole thing.

Craig: This is what happens.

John: Elevator operators.

Craig: Ah. Which is why I love New York, because there’s still like, you know what? Every now and again you walk in an elevator, there’s a guy. Hopefully we’ll make it. I don’t really think there is an example in history of anything like this.

John: Yes, it’s different.

Craig: This is different, which is terrifying. What is also terrifying is how blithe everybody is as they run around and run toward it, and yet everybody seems to understand that it’s happening. Mostly people seem to be shouting at each other about it. Which, if I were a conspiracy theorist and thought that AI was trying to take over the world, I would suggest that AI had been doing a brilliant job of turning itself into the distraction that we all yelled about while it quietly ate our lunchables.

John: Let’s answer some listener questions. First, we have one from Jonatan about finishing work.

Drew: Yes. Jonatan says, “Do you think that every screenplay should be finished no matter what? If you’re working on a script and realize that it’s not good enough to become a movie, is it better to finish every script regardless so that you make a habit of actually finishing your stories and not normalizing quitting, or is it better to drop a story when you realize it’s not good enough?”

Craig: Normalizing quitting?

John: Normalizing quitting.

Craig: I love the kids. I think that if you are early on, this is your first or second script, yes, get to the end.

John: Get to the end, yes.

Craig: Finish it, know what that means, even if you see by the time you finish it why it was not meant to be finished. If you’ve got a couple behind you, if you ever finished any screenplay and you’re writing a script, and you’re like, “Oh no,” yes, normalizing quitting is just not working. Ball it up and– think of it as a really, really aggressive rewrite, where you’re rewriting it to something else entirely.

John: I think it’s important to finish a script. Craig and I have our feature bias. We were thinking about a 120-page script, which is a long thing. Listen, that could be months more of work. I don’t want you to kill yourself over something that saps all your will to live to finish this thing if you think it was a bad idea, it’s a fundamentally flawed premise.

But it’s also important to realize that writing is just hard. At a certain point in a script, everyone goes through that crisis of faith in a project. It’s like, “I don’t know how to do this thing. It’s the worst idea. I should never have pursued it.”

Craig: Yes. That’s why I think if you have one finished, then at least what it means.

John: You know what it feels like. You know what place. On the second script, on the third script, you’re like, “Oh yes, I recognize this feeling. It’s not the end of the world.”

Craig: I think default to finishing, but it’s not quitting. It’s making an executive decision about your artwork.

John: Yes. Let’s answer one more question. This is from Brett, who’s had his first contract.

Drew: Brett writes, “I’ve been ‘hired’ to write my first assignment. First, thanks so much. All along the way, as producers argue and the director gives notes, your voices have been echoing in my brain reminding me that my job is to make everyone feel heard and respected, while ultimately protecting the movie. Quick preface, I work in music, and I know this director from music video shoots where we’ve crossed paths in the past. Here’s the question. This is a non-union gig. The budget is $10 million. There is IP from a well-known song and participation from a well-known musician. Because it’s non-union, the producers have basically put the impetus on me to define my financial terms.

I’m not cash-strapped, so I’ve been creating literary material without any agreement, but it’s time for me to start the screenplay, and they have asked me again about pay. I would like to enjoy in the back-end success via residuals, but I assume that’s impossible in a non-union production. Could I or should I ask for a tiny percentage of the sale? Otherwise, would you recommend asking for some amount due upon delivery of the first draft? Maybe a weekly rate for the rewrites and polishes?”

John: A $10 million movie is not tiny, and it feels like this could be a WJ movie if they chose to make a WJ movie. It’s like it’s really easy to spin up an LLC, but they’re not going to do it, so not a lot worth having. A $10 million movie, you should be getting terms that are like what you’d be getting for the WJ film. What I would say is go on the WJ website, pull up the most recent contract, and figure out what are the prices for a draft, for a set and revisions, and work off of that as your template. That should be the floor you’re thinking about rather than starting from scratch.

In terms of back-end, they may not know what they’re doing either, so there might be some definition of something that is actually meaningful. Regardless, you’re going to want to have an entertainment attorney take a look at this to make sure you’re assigning something that’s just not dumb.

Craig: I think probably an entertainment attorney here would also be helpful to provide context. Because if they are reputable and they work at a firm, this is not the first time that the circumstances are risen. They can say, here’s other movies that roughly cost $10 million that were non-union deals with non-signatories. This is generally what we try and do. We try and capture X percentage of the budget for the writer, which is very typical.

John: Back in the day when we were doing budgets, and Drew, correct me if this is wrong, because you’ve done this more recently, 1.5% is what it is.

Craig: 1.5%, okay.

John: Drew, is that familiar to you at all?

Drew: That sounds right, yes. We tend not to do back-end anymore. Everyone is pushing more towards Box Office Bonus.

Craig: And back-end would be a trap with a company like this because the worst possible news is, yes, we grant you all of your back-end requests that, as worded, will never equal money. So a buyout could be possible.

John: A production bonus would make a lot of sense.

Craig: Production bonus. Also, is this going to be a negative pickup for a distribution company? Part of that fee. Do we get a percentage of that sale, as defined by what? You needed a lawyer. You need a lawyer real bad. The WGA minimums would be where I would start, and a lawyer will help you with this. There’s no way around that. We’re not lawyers.

John: No, so we can only point you in directions of things you’ll talk to your lawyer about.

Craig: Yes. Like this.

John: Yes, like this. Money.

Craig: If you’re going to ask a question about contracts, nine times out of 10, we’re going to be like, “You’re going to need to check with a lawyer.”

John: Yes. I wouldn’t say ChatGPT would be your friend here.

Craig: No.

John: No. They’ve not had the on-the-ground experience with this kind of contracts.

Craig: You could hire an AI lawyer and you go to real jail.

John: Great. It’s time for one cool things. My one cool thing is this video I watched a couple weeks ago. This is Jon Batiste hearing this Green Day song for the first time. Jon Batiste is an incredibly good composer, singer, songwriter. Just brilliant at the piano, has sort of Stevie Wonder energy, and just basically sort of can rips on anything. In this video, they have him with headphones on and he’s sitting at the piano. He’s hearing this Green Day song for the first time. He has no idea what the song is, and he’s not told it’s Green Day.

Craig: Oh, I’ve seen this. It’s great.

John: Yes, it’s great. He’s just hearing the vocals and drum track, and he’s just at the piano figuring out what the music is that goes with it, and it’s just– off the top of his head it’s brilliant. Just to see this–

Craig: Interesting.

John: Interesting. Co different but completely interesting. Craig and I both had the experience of being able to work with really talented composers who could just do anything. Suddenly, things that are–

Craig: It’s magic.

John: Yes, it is genuinely magic. He is just a magician. Seeing what he’s doing, whilst also just seeing the joy he’s feeling in the moment, and then actually hearing the full track versus what he did, it’s incredibly good. If you just want to see the value of actual human beings in creation of art, I can think of no better example than Jon Batiste listening to Green Day. We’ll put a link in the show notes to YouTube.

Craig: I also, my one cool thing derives from a video. I, like millions of people around the world, opted to make the viral Mac and cheese for Thanksgiving. This is Tini. I think it’s pronounced Tini? Tini, T-I-N-I?

John: Yes.

Craig: I should know this. Anyway, she had a video, it was on TikTok, where she makes Mac and cheese. For some reason – and even she is like, “I don’t understand why” – it became the sensation, and everybody felt a strong need to try and make this Mac and cheese.

John: What’s different about this approach?

Craig: Honestly, I just think it’s a solid approach. She recommended cavatappi pasta, which is much better than an elbow macaroni. Shredding your own cheese-

John: For sure.

Craig: -because pre-shredded cheese has starch on [crosstalk].

John: Now, she’s making a béchamel sauce and melting the cheese into it.

Craig: She’s making a roux-

John: That’s classic.

Craig: -which turns into a béchamel. It was nice also watching it because I cook a lot, so it was cool to think, “Oh, a lot of people are now learning what a roux is, which is cool.” Some interesting flavors in there. Smoked paprika and a little bit of Dijon. Anyway, I made it.

John: Was it good?

Craig: Outstanding.

John: Oh, it’s great to hear.

Craig: Like 11 out of 10 would make again. Really, really good.

John: Breadcrumbs on the top?

Craig: No.

John: Oh, okay.

Craig: No, no breadcrumbs. In fact, she was very, very adamant. Like, “No. Get your effing breadcrumbs away from my Mac and cheese.” No. At the very end, you just put it under the broiler for like two minutes just to crisp it up. That’s it. It’s intense. It’s a heavy dish. It’s not an everyday food.

John: What’s so fascinating about Mac and cheese is that there’s two separate categories of things. There’s the Mac and cheese you’re describing, and then there’s just Kraft. Kids who love Kraft, and you try to give them your Mac and cheese, they would throw a fit.

Craig: Kraft, as we have mentioned earlier, is a corporation that spent so much money coming up with that orange powder, which is awesome, by the way.

John: It’s also great, yes.

Craig: A Kraft Mac and Cheese is delicious. I resent it for being that delicious, but also, when you look at the effort, I will say, Tini’s Mac and cheese-

John: It’s a lot of work.

Craig: -it took a while. Just a little elbow grease getting all that cheese shredded there. Yes, I thought it was great. Tip of the hat to her.

John: Awesome.

Craig: She did a nice job.

John: We’ll put a link in the show notes to that. That’s our show for this week. Scripted and produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matt Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That is also the place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. You’ll find the transcripts at johnaugust.com, along with the sign-up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re great. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau.

You can find the show notes with the links for all the things we talked about today in the email you get each week now as a premium subscriber. That’s new. We thank all our premium subscribers. You make it possible for Craig and I to do this show every week, along with Drew and Matthew. You can become a premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments, like the one we’re about to record on the difference between living in a simulation versus living with a creator, or if there even is a difference. Is there a conundrum? Is there a paradox there?

Craig: Let’s dive in.

John: We’re going to dive in. Only for our premium members. Thank you to those folks. Drew, thank you for a fun show. Craig, thank you.

Craig: Thank you.

Drew: Thanks, guys.

[Bonus Segment]

John: All right. Drew, to start us off here. Read this email from Tim.

Drew: Yes. We got a follow-up from Tim, who writes, “In Episode 665, Craig’s one cool thing was the WIRED article about scientists reimagining the underpinnings of reality and discovering new depths of its elegant simplicity. He commented that simplicity makes sense since reality is a simulation. It made me curious. How would Craig make a distinction between the cosmic classifications of simulation versus creation? Both imply a closed system with intentional design and a first cause. Is it that simulation is usually associated with natural designers, while creation is often linked to the divine?

What, if any, distinction would Craig make between the type of designers who lay behind either model, and why does he prefer the simulation metanarrative?”

Craig: What a good question. I enjoy this. Okay. There are almost no differences. Really what it comes down to is that the idea of divine creation ascribes a sense of moral order to the universe and purpose. This is the most important thing, purpose, whereas the pure simulation way of thinking about things implies no moral order whatsoever, and very specifically, for me, implies no significant purpose.

If, say, we launched The Sims, and we had gotten to a place where The Sims was so good that all the little individual Sims were actually fully conscious, would we be able to explain the purpose to them? The purpose is to what, amuse me? I guess that’s a purpose, but it’s not a divine purpose. It’s not spiritually significant. I suspect that the simulation that we live in is not spiritually significant, and I don’t think that there is a moral order that is implied by somebody. Oh, absolutely, it could be a person. It could be one person. We could be the work of one-

John: One consciousness.

Craig: -one consciousness, one entity that has coded this and is running it, or we could be the product of 2,000 simulations deep. I don’t know, nor could we know. But, of interest, I did read an article – I’ll have to find the link to it – where people were arguing about the Big Bang, and what they’re struggling with is they can’t get around it. It happened. They don’t know why. And every time they try and beat it, they can’t.

John: They try to get around it scientifically or philosophically.

Craig: Scientifically. They’re trying to say, “Look, surely there’s something other than an unmotivated explosion.”

John: It feels like division by zero. It’s undefined, yes.

Craig: It just seems like. Really, what I think we’re struggling with is that somebody turned it on. The program was launched, that’s the Big Bang, and we can’t handle it.

John: Actually, I want to dig into what you’re thinking. Do you believe that the simulation began with a Big Bang or do you believe that it started at some other point and a narrative was installed, and basically, retroactively it sort of filled in the space behind there as an explanation force of?

Craig: Either one could be true. It’s either that the simulation was running along, and then someone went, restart it, but start it with this, and let’s– I suspect that it’s really more that the actual initiation of the simulation appears to us through our primitive physics as a large explosion in which everything, information, was contained. The Big Bang Theory says there was one little tiny, infinitely small dot that contained everything that we see. The gazillions of things. I don’t know how much mass we suspect the universe has. All of it was there in that tiny little dot, and then it exploded outwards. I think maybe it just turned on. Seems like it turned on.

John: Yes. Expansion versus creation.

Craig: I think it was the code began to run.

John: I should say before I forget to say that if this is an intriguing conversation for anybody or this resonates, my movie, The Nines, is actually about this.

Craig: Yes. Go see the movie.

John: Go see the movie. I want to dig in a little bit more here, because when I think about– I would consider myself an atheist, or at least I don’t believe that there’s an act of God who cares. I think, like you, I’m fine with the idea that there is a creator, the first cause, the first mover of things. I remember taking a philosophy or religion class in college, and we went all through ontology and teleology and all the proofs for the existence of God. What I was being so frustrated by is like, “Well, even if philosophically I’m willing to say like, okay, sure, it doesn’t get me to like the Christian Abrahamic God at all.” There’s no tie in there that makes any sense to me.

Again, the idea that someone flipped a switch, sure, but that doesn’t actually get me to Jesus died for my sins.

Craig: Correct. Nor would it ever. The history of philosophy is riddled with otherwise brilliant people bending themselves into absurd pretzels. Descartes in particular. What the hell? Come on. “I think, therefore I am.” What was underpinning “I think, therefore I am” was I think, therefore I am. If there is an I, that means that God must have made me.

John: Yes. The I is important.

Craig: It’s so topological.

John: I think, therefore I am. Yes to all that conversation. My question though is these philosophers who were tying themselves in knots to then say, “Oh, but this proves the divinity of this and the thing.” Was it because they actually believed it or because they needed to contort their statements in order to fit the culture in which they were living for their own safety? I was just reading through Seneca’s tragedies, and Seneca, the younger, I didn’t realize was actually like Nero’s tutor. He’s writing these brilliant examinations of power and government, but he writes about the ancient Greeks.

They weren’t that ancient at that time, but he was writing about the Greeks. That they had plausible divine ability. He’s not actually writing about what he’s seeing around him.

Craig: I think once we get into, let’s say, out of the Middle Ages, and even from some of the people in the Middle Ages, it is a question of how demonstrative and vigorous they are in their pursuit of this proof of God. Some philosophers just really– Kant really believes in God. Clearly, he’s not trying to get at anything.

John: The question is– and again, I could read the books, but I haven’t read the books. Do we say that Kant believes in God in his heart and therefore, that’s informing how he’s putting his thoughts together, or does he intellectually deeply believe in this Christian God that he’s writing about?

Craig: It’s intertwined. I think what happens is there are some things that you just need to believe. You need to believe them. Kant is so profoundly smart and boring. He’s one of the most boring writers ever, but incredibly smart. It’s clear that there is a presupposed notion, which is ironic, because that’s this whole category of knowledge that he invents. This idea that there are some things that are provably true, that existed before we proved them, nonsense. However, he needed that to be there because it also explained part of how his own mind worked.

I think that some people grow up in a way where they just– they have to deal with the fact that this must be true.
Proving God’s existence seems like utter folly to me. The whole point is you can’t. Isn’t that the point of faith? I’m like you, it doesn’t bother me. I’m so atheistic that I don’t even get bothered by religious people. I’m like, “Sure. For sure.”

John: Sure.

Craig: I’m fine, I’m over here.

John: This notion that there is a creator, and that creator is therefore watching us or is somehow involved, always felt like a giant leap to me. Because we’ve all seen systems that just keep running forever. Someone starts them and then they walk away and they keep doing it and they might spawn other things. Stuff is just happening in the background, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s, again, a plan, a moral directive for how these things are supposed to be working. That creator might have set the initial conditions that creates the fundamental laws of physics and how the universe functions. Maybe there are moral laws underneath stuff but lack of evidence that they are enforced.

Craig: Lack of evidence. We also don’t understand how time functions for– let’s call this person the mover or observer. They’re running a cycle of a thing for some reason, or a thing of a thing of a thing is running a cycle of a thing. Maybe even this is some AI trying to learn something, who knows? Our billions of years of existence and our personal tens of years of existence could be gone in a nanosecond.

John: We’re just a training model. We’re being used to train some other model.

Craig: We might be. What I find interesting is how as years have gone on from the beginning of history, which is recorded history, early on, generational narcissism, people were just starting to observe themselves. Therefore the idea of a God that was watching us all, evaluating, judging one by one, and then assigning to a fate made some sense. Yes, Osiris and Anubis are going to be here and weigh your heart against a feather and blah blah blah. Okay, but it’s been thousands of years. The world is ridiculously complicated.

The idea that there is a God watching all of this down to every individual person, to me paints the picture of an enormous dullard. Somebody who’s so dull they’re incapable of being bored. Because I can’t imagine anything more boring than watching every single person, every single second of every single day forever to sort them into bins, for what? That sounds like a dullard.

John: Yes. It’s actually worth their time to be evaluating, “How did this one do?”

Craig: The most powerful being conceivable is just down to sorting.

John: Unless it’s like reinforcement learning, basically. It’s like, “I’m going to set up all these different things and see which one of these models learns to walk the best,” or do something else. Maybe that’s what it is.

Craig: We’re back to simulation.

John: We’re back to simulation.

Craig: The idea of like this isn’t a simulation, this is somehow metaphysically real, and there is somebody watching. I’m watching. I’m listening to you. I hear everything, see everything. What a terrible way to spend your day if you could do anything.

John: What a great question from Tim.

Craig: Thank you, Tim.

John: Tim, thanks for your great question.

Craig: I called God a dullard.

Links:

  • Flightplan (and The Lady Vanishes)
  • There’s No Longer Any Doubt That Hollywood Writing Is Powering AI by Alex Reisner for The Atlantic
  • Vince Gilligan Statement on AI to USCO
  • Lunchables
  • The Serenity Prayer
  • Jon Batiste hears Green Day for the First Time
  • Tini’s Mac and Cheese on TikTok
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on BlueSky, Threads, Instagram, and Mastodon
  • Outro by Nick Moore (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 664: Hollywood Got Old, Transcript

November 21, 2024 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listen to episode 664 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, how do you handle the anxiety of uncertainty? At times in life, particularly in this industry, you’re waiting around for an answer that’s going to have a direct impact on you. We’ll talk through strategies for navigating those situations. Then Craig, do you want to feel old? The president of production at New Line is 27. That guy at Fox, one person 28. Paramount Studio chief is 31, and by the time he’s 35, he’ll be the chairman of Disney. Craig, does that surprise you?

Craig: It doesn’t surprise me. It delights me because the odds that all of those people have been listening to Scriptnotes for the last 10 years is pretty high. I’ve always said this gig is our best job insurance.

John: Well Craig, unfortunately, we have traveled back in time secretly because that was actually true in the ‘80s and ‘90s, because all those people are well-known names you recognize, like Jeffrey Katzenberg or Mike De Luca, those folks were all running these studios when they were in their 20s and early 30s, and they’re no longer doing that. Now, Hollywood is run by folks in their 50s, 60s, 70s.

Craig: Basically, nothing changed. Those people that came along– You know John, when we started in the ‘90s, it did feel like there was– maybe it’s generational, there was this group of 20 somethings coming and going.

John: That was my Stark class coming into the industry.

Craig: “Everybody get out of our way. We’re taking this,” and then we did. We haven’t apparently let it go.

John: We have certainly not. We want to talk about the impact of that generation and how it influences what gets made and who gets to make it. We’ll also ask the question, Craig, is development wage theft?

Craig: Oh, well, strictly speaking those aren’t wages at all because it’s unemployment.

John: Yes, exactly.

Craig: It’s an independent contracting.

John: It is, yes.

Craig: It is technically.

John: We will talk through those and answer some listener questions. In our bonus segment for premium members, which aspects of pandemic life are we still practicing in 2024?

Craig: That’s some thought.

John: First, we have some actual news. We have some events coming up. We have our live show December 6th at Dynasty Typewriter here in Los Angeles. Tickets are now on sale for everyone.

Craig: That’s great. Now, we don’t have guests to yet announce.

John: Not yet announce. We have one who’s confirmed, who’s fantastic. I’m very excited about that. We’ll match folks in who will be great and equally fantastic.

Craig: We’ve never failed to get great guests. Even when we had trouble, we were going to have the-

John: Oh, yes.

Craig: -Larry Kasdan on and then he was not feeling well, so we just threw in some Jason Bateman and some Benioff and Weiss. We can do things like that.

John: We can do things. So I’m excited for our live show and excited for our guests. I’m also doing a second little event on November 22nd 6:30 PM in Village Well in Culver City. This game we make, Alpha Birds, they’re having a night which is just playing Alpha Birds. We’ll be there.

Craig: Oh, cool.

John: Folks can have a drink and play some Alpha Birds. We’ll show you how to play it.

Craig: I love a game store.

John: Game stores are good. Game stores with a liquor license, even better.

Craig: I was confused there, but if they can afford that, amazing.

John: That’s good stuff. You’ll find links in the show notes to both of those events if you are in Los Angeles and want to come to those. Now, Craig, we are recording this episode on a weekend. Drew is not here, so it’s just the two of us.

Craig: Finally.

John: We have no supervision.

Craig: We can just do whatever we want instead of mommy yelling at us.

John: This episode will come out on Tuesday, which in the United States is election day. We’re not going to talk about the election, but I do want to talk about anxiety as a general phenomenon because independent of what day or what’s happening in the world, there are moments, especially as a screenwriter or someone working in this industry where you are waiting around for an answer to come or something to happen.

It could be that you’ve turned in a scripture waiting for notes, you are waiting for the results of a medical procedure, and sometimes those are worse than the actual news itself, is the anxiety that builds up about waiting around for that. I just want to talk through some general strategies you’ve learned over the years and things I’ve found to be useful.

Craig: Sure. You put your finger on one of the biggest challenges we have as human beings, and that’s uncertainty. We really struggle with it. What we try to do, I think instinctively is solve it. There’s a problem. I’m scared of blank. It always starts with fear. I’m scared of blank. How do I solve that? Maybe if I just ruminate and perseverate, and think it through and seek reassurance, which is our number one strategy, then I can make the fear go away. In fact, reassurance seeking really is just pointless. It’s not going to change the reality of what happens.

John: I think let’s look at it from a point of view of screenwriters, because as screenwriters, we are problem solvers. We see situations out there in the world. We’ve created these situations for our characters or in our scripts, and we are looking for what those solutions are. We talk about it on the podcast, sometimes you just need to stop and think and actually work through it and figure out what that is. That is true and useful in fictional worlds in which we’re creating where we can change all the rules. But in this real world, we can’t change those rules.

I think, Craig, one thing you’re saying is, we are trying to solve a problem that we cannot solve by accepting that there’s not a solution to the problem that is in our control is a crucial first step.

Craig: It’s hard, because you’re right. We are used to being in complete control of the narrative. We can go around and change things and do whatever we want. We are all of us living inside a reality that we narrative eyes, but it is not a narrative, and we just don’t know. The things that we don’t know, we don’t know are vast. You and I have been in positions before where we may see people worrying about something that we are making. It hasn’t come out yet, but they’re worrying.

They’re worrying because they care, which is a good sign. It’s better than them not caring, but sometimes they will express their fear in statements of certainty because they’re looking for certainty. It is sometimes easier for them to say, “You know what? This is going to be bad and I’m going to hate it. I’m not going to watch it. I’m not going to care,” because the alternative was just to sit in my uncertainty for months and months and months is intolerable. But what we know on our side of things is, “Hey, we actually made something good. Wish we could show it to you right now to calm you down. Can’t, but we will.”

I think sometimes that’s how things work with politics. All we see is what we’re shown, but we don’t know. We don’t know what they know.

John: Absolutely. Pulling it back to more our industry, we are waiting for an answer sometimes from a decision maker, and that decision maker is also facing uncertainty. That decision maker is like, “Am I making the right choice? Am I not making the right choice? What is the safest course? What is the most likely course that is not going to result in a disaster?”

Recognizing sometimes from their point of view, they don’t know either. It can be frustrating, but also reassuring that we’re all feeling our way around in this situation.

Craig: We want to believe that the people that control things are supremely confident, and they’re not, nor are they perfect, nor may they even be confident in what they are doing. And they may also be struggling with those problems that we don’t know about. They may want to say yes. The problem is they’ve been told they’re not allowed to say yes currently because they’re in a fight with somebody over something they just said yes to. How that all functions and flows is really hard to comprehend, so don’t. Don’t bother. The waiting, in and of itself, disappears as waiting if we just stop waiting. Don’t wait. Just move on with your life.

John: Let’s talk about the moving on of it all, because there’s the moving on you can do with the actual situation you’re faced with. With the project that you’re waiting for an answer from this one person, it’s worth interrogating. Like, “Am I actually waiting for this person? Does that yes or no really matter, or could I be doing something else that’s useful and productive on this? Am I waiting for this person to give me a thumbs up or thumbs down, or should I be showing this to other people, because that may be the smartest thing to do, or should I just be working on that next project?” And that is often really the best choice.

Craig: You can’t go wrong doing more work.

John: Yes.

Craig: That’s generally speaking a win-win. I think that agents and managers who listen to this are probably very familiar with the feeling of a client calling saying, “Why aren’t we doing anything?” The answer is there’s nothing to do, but that’s not a great answer to give a client because, A, they’re looking for reassurance, reassurance through action. The notion that we are in control of things, if only we did A, B, or C. Also, it’s not an easy thing to say to a client that right now you have no utility to them. This is something that I think representatives struggle with a lot of times.

They know there’s nothing to do, or they know that maybe there will be something to do, but in a month. The stuff again that we don’t know, what we don’t know is that five days from now, somebody’s going to mention this to somebody, who’s going to mention it to somebody, who’s going to mention it to Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is going to say, “What? Let me read that,” and reads it and says, “I want to do this.” Then everything changes. We have no way of seeing any of that because it’s in the future. It hasn’t occurred yet, nor is it predictable.

We have to unfortunately accept that we are only in control of what goes on the page, and very little else.

John: For sure. What I don’t want anyone to take from this conversation is the sense of that you have no agency, you have no control, you have no ability to make decisions yourself. You absolutely do. If you are getting no answer from an agent or a manager over a period of time, and they seem to be doing nothing, and you write in a letter saying, “My agent or manager seems to be doing nothing,” that is a concern. Then you should bring up that concern and consider looking for new representation. That’s a story as old as this time.

What we’re I think trying to stress is that, it’s worth asking, what is the roadblock? When you find out what that roadblock is, you realize there’s nothing I can do about that roadblock. I have a project right now that we should be going out to the town with, but there’s a roadblock based on the rights holder that has to be resolved, and there’s nothing I can do to force that to happen more quickly.

Craig: Exactly. There is nothing you can do. The people that work for you, you do have control over. You pay your agent. You pay your manager. That is an enormous amount of control. If they’re not fulfilling what you think is a service that you’re paying for, then you fire them and you find somebody else, but the people that we’re asking money from, and I don’t know if you’ve– I think you must have experienced this, as time goes on, we get more and more comfortable with the practice of submitting something and then literally forgetting you submitted because there’s something else to do.

When you get called about that thing, it is a pleasant surprise, but if you have kept yourself moving, if you get a call that’s an unpleasant surprise, well, let’s now talk about what else we can do there, or do we just end it? Either way, I’m moving forward. I’ve already been moving forward. What I haven’t been doing is sitting by the phone, chewing my fingernails.

John: Yes, for sure. There’s a general framework in terms of thinking about what’s on your side, your circle of control. What are the things you can actually control versus your circle of concern? There are things in the world that you are concerned about. You have strong opinions about things you want to see happen in a certain way, the health of your family, the environment, our general political system, those are issues that are well within your circle of concern, but they’re not necessarily in your circle of control.

There’s not a thing you can do specifically to solve that problem. So it’s worth interrogating, well, what are these small actions I can take that will advance that goal? That’s great because that will make you feel that you have some utility and some agency in that cause. Tomorrow, I am phone banking. Phone banking is like, “Listen, I might talk to three people and nudge them on, but that’s great.” It’s going to make me feel better and could potentially be helpful in a swing state. It’s recognizing that there’s limits to what I can do. There’s no more big checks I could write that would actually have an impact.

Craig: Yes. And I think often of the lesson that our grandparents must have faced when they lived through a war, which you and I have not lived through, not on the scale of World War I, World War II. We were barely alive for Vietnam. We weren’t around for Korea. The wars that followed, the engagement by United States forces were so limited compared to those. No drafts. There has been a draft since Vietnam war.

John: We had 9/11 and it was the closest we had to be an assault on us.

Craig: 9/11 actually, in and of itself, is a pretty interesting lesson in uncertainty because if someone had said two weeks earlier, something horrible was going to happen on United States soil and we’re counting down and you all know what it is, that would have been a horrible two weeks. But the fact is, the act itself would have been no different. Anticipation and uncertainty, in and of themselves, are a kind of torment. We are capable of withstanding a lot of it, more than we think, but part of withstanding it is recognizing for what it is, something over which we have no control.

John: Let’s talk about why we worry and why anxiety exists because I think it is a useful evolutionary function. We have it. Other mammals have it. Clearly, other things, too. Can be stressed out about the future. As humans, we have a much stronger vision of the future. We can narrativize these things and catastrophize these things, but in some ways, that helps protect us and helps keep us alive. The challenge is, it was designed to keep us away from predators. It was not designed to deal with weird nebulous existential threats.

Craig: Yes. We have a system in place neurologically that keeps us alert and creates a state of vigilance. Vigilance, on some level, is important. If you cut yourself and then just ignore it, your arm’s going to get infected. Gangrene will sit in. You’ll either die or lose your arm. If you get a sense that your spouse is spending a whole lot of time with someone else, you may want to investigate that. There are reasons for vigilance, but hypervigilance over your life is toxic. I know this because I’ve literally had to deal with this in therapy.

The notion of over-vigilance in the sense that if you do not provide Ryan Reynolds style maximum effort to self-examination and the state of your career, your life, whatever it may be, it’s all going to fall apart. Problematic. Not helpful. Doesn’t actually keep you any safer. Just blows those circuits out and you end up spending all of your time scared.

John: I think it’s worth thinking about, how do we put some limits on the time and space we’re allowing ourselves to worry or letting ourselves worry at places and then also not worry about places. Things I do for myself is I basically will not look at social media on my phone after 8:00 PM just because I know that I recognize that creates a pattern of a doom loop that it’s hard for me to break out of.

Rachel Bloom in her special on Netflix, she talks about the huge grief she was going through and the fear about her daughter, and her daughter just being born right at the start of the pandemic and losing Adam Schlesinger, her therapist would say, “Have a room in your house where you can go and cry and cry in that room, and give yourself that space, but then leave that room and leave all that anxiety in that room,” which is a useful way of thinking about it. Just actually put that in a place and recognize that that’s the place for that, but don’t let it infest the rest of your world.

Craig: Yes, you need a chance to feel what you’re feeling. You can’t beat anxiety by yelling at it, but putting it in perspective, which is what that sounds like is what you need to do. Part of it is just recognizing what it is. It’s a bunch of feelings that are happening, like having to cough. If you have to cough, cough. Get it out. But while you’re coughing, don’t think I’m dying because I’m coughing or I’ll never stop coughing. I guess my life is now coughing. It’s not how it works.

John: It’s also worth recognizing that sometimes you feel a physical thing and then you reverse engineer that to say this is anxiety. Last night, I was like, “Oh my God, my anxiety is off the charts.” It was like, “Oh, no, I’m actually just cold.” I haven’t turned on the heat in the house. I’m actually shivering because of that. That’s actually what’s doing it. It felt the same as my anxiety felt. I put on a sweater.

Craig: My version of that is sometimes I get that butterfly in the stomach feeling, jittery, and I presume immediately that there’s a reason I’m scared. What is the reason? Why am I scared? I’m not scared. I’m experiencing a physical symptom of fear because some adrenaline is squirting out errantly. Happens to me all the time. I’ve come to notice there are moments where something suddenly triggers “fear” in me that is nothing, like looking at a tree and I suddenly, “Something’s wrong.” I’ve come to understand, “No, nothing’s wrong.” Something hormonal in my body just went blah.

I don’t have a good alarm system. My alarm system is broken. In fact, and I don’t know if this is true for you, since we both suffer from anxiety, where I excel is when there really is trouble. In those instances, I am incredibly calm, clear, direct, problem-oriented, no panic, nothing. It’s the tree, or I don’t know, something, a smell that just suddenly makes me think, “Oh, no, I’m dying.”

John: It’s more like, how could I have possibly said that thing to that person 20 minutes ago?

Craig: Or 20 years ago.

John: Yes.

Craig: Oh, absolutely. Listen, we also have shame loops on our heads and all that stuff. It’s just, we have to deal with it. When we’re talking about writers, people who their brains are attuned to imagination and whose brains are attuned to finding horrible things, that’s what we do with our imaginations. Horrible psychological things, emotional things, incidental things, then, yes, surprise, we don’t feel so good sometimes when we have to fill a space of unknown with potentials.

Yes, people are sitting around right now, thinking, “Well, if the person that I don’t want to be president is president, I am imagining the following horrible things happening.” Our imagination in that fear is not particularly useful. What is useful is just good old-fashioned dispassionate planning. Preparing, helping, strategizing.

John: Yes, for sure. Last little things I’ll say. If you do find yourself in that doom spiral loop, some tricks to get out of it, and you can google other ones too but things that I found are useful, literally dunking your head in ice water, sounds crazy, but it kicks off this primal, like that. I don’t know. That sounded like drowning, but there’s some primal thing it takes off. It’s like it can snap that for a second. I will listen to my political podcast while I’m running because it doesn’t have the same valance when you’re running.

Just things that you can do to make sure that you are inoculating yourself as best you can from those ups and those downs.

Craig: I’m not surprised that that’s the experience you have when you’re running because perhaps the single most effective anxiety breaker is oxygen. We stop breathing. And as you experience a minor hypoxia, the panic will increase because your brain is also designed to have you panic if it thinks you’re drowning. So as stupid as it is, deep breathing works 100% of the time. It is so frustrating that that is the case. While you’re doing it, it’s not working until suddenly, it’s worked, and it’ll be a minute maybe.

John: Yes, or someone tells you to drink a glass of water and that’s the stupidest thing ever and yet it still, it does help.

Craig: There are these things because what we’re experiencing is a simple mistake in the wiring. We don’t like thinking that we’re that dumb of a machine, but we are. We are that dumb of a meat machine.

John: Yes, for sure. All right, let’s move on to our next topic here. This is inspired by an article by Mia Galuppo, writing for The Hollywood Reporter. Her article is titled The Big Squeeze: Why Everyone in Hollywood Feels Stuck, but what’s really about is this sense, as we were talking about in the lead up here, is that when we were entering the industry, it felt like there were a lot of young people, a little older than us, but our age, who were suddenly running the town, they’re presidents of production, they’re heads of studios, they were doing all those jobs.

Over the years, we talk about the ladder and we talk about the importance of making sure those lower rungs of the ladder are actually available for people who are entering the industry, but I don’t think we talk enough about like, “Well, the upper rungs of the ladder.” If people are just staying on the ladder, there ends up being no place to climb to. When we see executives who are now turning 70, running those jobs, the people who used to be 35 in those positions are now in their 50s and 60s. It creates this log jam where there’s not a space for the folks who should be climbing to climb to.

Craig: Well, there is a space, the space is the same. That was always there. The space is I’m going to kick this old man out and take over. That’s why CAA exists. Four agents said, “We’re leaving William Morris, screw this old man. We’re starting our own place. We’re taking all these clients with us and now CAA is the biggest agency in the world.” I think after it bought ICM, it’s at least maybe endeavors, I don’t know, but they’re up there. Point being, they were called the Young Turks.

John: They were.

Craig: They are all not young. One of the things I’m wondering about is the state of ambition. Along with ambition is its opposite, which is, I guess I would call despair or helplessness. The sense that what you’re trying to get is impossible to get, but you’re trying to break into an impervious vault. Sometimes I wonder if it is generational, because when you and I started, our ambition was to be something in the entertainment business. What we didn’t have was the distraction of everyone else’s life on 24/7 in a reality show.

We did not have any need nor ability to document our lives for other people to see what other people were doing. There are so many distractions, and in a way, I think also– Are you familiar–? We talked about this with Rebel Wilson, Tall Poppy syndrome.

John: Oh, for sure.

Craig: Tall poppy syndrome, I think grows pretty well in social media. The sense that, “Oh, someone’s getting too good or too fast, or they’re too ambitious or whatever, let’s knock them down.” That becomes an ingrained feeling you have when you enter a business like, “Oh, we should all just sort of be leveled out here.” Whereas when you and I started, it was a law of the jungle.

John: Yes, for sure. Thinking back to when I was entering the industry, it felt like it was musical chairs and there were actually just plenty of chairs. There was space for everybody was entered into the industry as things were expanding and more opportunities were opening up, television was expanding. The boundaries between film and television were collapsing. There was opportunities to do new things. I do feel like that time is also happening now in terms of whatever you want to say about YouTube or sort of all the creator-generated videos, which is a whole sort side industry that’s there and it’s actually successful.

What is different about the industry now versus when you and I started though, is even though the big corporations had boards of directors, and they were publicly traded companies, they weren’t publicly traded companies in the same way. Disney was not as big as it was. Warner’s Discovery was not as big as it was, and there wasn’t the expectation that the people who were at the helm of those companies had to be titans of industry for Wall Street.

Craig: Right. The ladder ended at a certain spot, and that spot was movie mogul, I’m in charge of the studio. And now, you’re absolutely right. I think when Sony came in and bought Colombia, it was the beginning of something, although Gulf Western Oil had bought Paramount, but still, when you read about the creation of The Godfather and Charlie Bluhdorn, who’s going back and forth from East Coast to Hollywood and trying to broker peace between all these people and Bob Evans and everybody, yes.

It definitely had a little bit less of, I’m trying to run for president of this nation-sized corporation, but still, we make more television now than we ever did before. I think where the squeeze happened is mostly in the area of producing. When we started, there were 4 million producers and all of them had a deal somewhere because the way the business worked was there were five executives who couldn’t handle everything, and then there were 100 producers on the lot.

All of them shoved into some space with an assistant and a creative executive, all of them absorbing massive amounts of money and almost all of them worthless. That is an area where contraction occurred and did eliminate a lot of pads for people to excel because a lot of people went to those useless places, clearly out shunned the people that had hired them and went on to bigger and better things.

John: Now, a person who enters the industry saying, “I want to make movies.” If they’re not there to be a writer director, if they’re there to be because they want to be a producer or they want to be a studio executive, I think that’s a very different and very frustrating path ahead for them versus my Stark class, when we came out of there, that was technically a producer’s program. We had four people who really became producers quite quickly, others who became agents. There was just a sense of like, we are going to take over this part of the town, and it’s so much harder now.

Yes, there’s other paths. There’s independent film, there’s ways to make things that are exciting. You’re not entering into the classic system to make a thing.

Craig: Yes, I think the rise of management companies has largely replaced the massive tide of questionably valuable production companies. Now, managers are producers as well, and there are more of them than ever. Managers seem to want to take on writers sooner than agencies would. If you wanted to be a manager, I suppose that there are a lot of find your way onto a desk, work your way, but I talk to agents at all the agencies, and when I’m talking to senior agents or partners and things, there is a theme. It’s not from all of them, but it’s from some of them.

The theme is, we’re worried, well, let’s go back to anxiety about the future, because the people who are coming in don’t seem to have the same insatiable hunger for success that we had. We’re not sure there’s any way to succeed in Hollywood if it’s not with an insatiable hunger. You can’t half-hunger your way to success in Hollywood.

John: I think I hear that sometimes with a sense that a generation wants permission to do a thing. They’re always looking for approval, rather than just like, “Screw you, I’m going to do this thing anyway.” I was watching Saturday Night, which is the Jason Reitman movie about the creation of the first episode of Saturday Night Live. What is notable about that is that everyone in that story is in their 20s.

Craig: Oh, yes.

John: Which is absurd. It seems really crazy now that you would trust a person in their early 20s with this big swath of television live, and it’s a big risk. The movie pauses that there was a calculation behind that, that made sense. I do think that the equivalent person now is not trying to do that on NBC. They’re doing something completely different on a YouTube or whatever. I was talking to two friends this week who I ended up connecting, one of whom works in this YouTube space and works with a bunch of creators and they can just make anything. They can do anything.

They have money and they’re successful and they can do stuff. He’s like, “Oh, I need to hire a showrunner for something.” I’m like, “Okay, well, tell me what that means.” He was describing this thing. It’s like, “Okay, that’s not actually a showrunner. I think you want a non-writing producer who can godfather and sort of be a creative liaison.” It’s like, “Oh, yes, okay then, that’s what it is.” I talked to my friend who is probably the right person for that, but it comes out of the classic studio system.

I had to warn both of them, make sure you actually are figuring out what your common language is, because I don’t think you’re using the same terms for nearly anything. I do wonder if it’s going to be a really parallel thing that’s going to rise up and we’ll have to figure out how it fits back in.

Craig: Well, and it might not.

John: Yes, it might not.

Craig: Of course, you and I don’t need to figure it out. Other people do, but there is a question of what is it that people do want? The insatiable hunger people have reasonably, I think, drifted to a place where their hunger will pay off quicker and perhaps more. I don’t know if it will stay as steady as some Hollywood success can stay. If you really can find your way into this business, prove that you have great value, you will have length. It’s hard because a lot of people who I think are worthy just can’t get to that place where they’re able to Velcro on.

In YouTube, yes, I think it’s a little trendy. So people light up and sometimes they explode because of bad behavior. We see that quite a bit. Sometimes people just start laughing at them. You started as something, you became a discovery, you became super-hot, you were an incredible trend, and then the memes began, and now, you’re a joke. That cycle is going to have to happen a few times for people to start to question whether or not it’s worth it.

The amount of money that can be made does seem to make it worth it but there is something about the legitimacy of what we do in Hollywood. The world still takes it more seriously. There’s no question about that.

John: You look at like the success of a Mr. Beast and what he’s able to do and you have the spotlight on you and so you as an individual are such a focus, but he’s both like the star and the Jeffrey Katzenberg of this studio that he is built. There’s something very great about that and something that an only person in their 20s is able to do. That’s notable. It’s a question of like, is that sustainable, is it repeatable for other people?

Craig: Right now, he’s in some trouble. This does seem to happen quite a bit and I’m not surprised because people are in their 20s. This often happens to them in Hollywood as well.

Mike De Luca is a very interesting story, because in his 20s, he was suddenly boom running something and then there was some scandal and there was a bit of an explosion and he crashed to Earth and then got himself well, did the work. It was decades. Now, he’s-

John: Running a studio.

Craig: -one of the people that runs Warner Brothers. That can happen. There are also some really tough stories out there, Maloney and other guys like that. Was Maloney, who died?

John: Jay Moloney?

Craig: Jay Moloney, just superstar agents. Don Simpson, superstar producer went kaboom and that was that.

John: I don’t think we have a great takeaway for this segment other than to recognize that the individuals who would’ve been the executives in Hollywood just I think recognize that there wasn’t a space for them there and they found other industries, they found other points to do it. I think tech took a lot of them.

Craig: Tech did take a lot of them. I do think still there are people in our industry who are in their 20s who are perhaps a little over-intimidated. Because of the size of our business, they feel like it’s impossible to slash and burn your way to the top. It’s not. Somebody has to. I recommend ambition. I recommend thinking big. It’s the only way it’s going to work. When you have a system where everyone gets comfortable with 32-year-old assistants, that system is broken.

John: Agreed. Let’s talk about this next article. This is from Elaine Low writing for The Ankler. The provocative headline is Development is Wage Theft. Let’s talk about what we mean by development. Development is I am bringing in a writer and talking with them about this project that we want to do together. It might be developing it internally and then we’re going to go out and take it on the town and pitch it or it’s a project that we’re developing internally to the studio. We own a book and we are going to figure out a way to develop it into a TV series, into a movie. That’s classically development.
Development can be paid. Development largely classically was paid where there was a sense of, “Okay, we are going to go through multiple drafts on this thing and get it to a place where you can fill it into director.” There’s a lot of unpaid development, which happens because you’re figuring out what is this thing we’re then going to pitch up to my bosses to other people.

This article is really focusing on the collapse of the traditional TV cycle, where we announce these are the fall shows, and then in the spring, we go through a cycle, where we have people write a bunch of pilots, and then we shoot some of the pilots and we go through. With that all collapsing, the time spent in development on stuff has just escalated beyond the normal boundaries of how much time writers are supposed to be working on things.

Craig: There are so many different aspects of development. Let’s talk about the pre-sale development. Is pre-sale development wage theft? No. Because you are creating intellectual property yourself. Nobody gets paid to imagine dream or write anything. They get paid when they license it for a publication or they get paid when they transfer copyright to somebody. That’s how that works. There are no wages to steal there. Nobody is entitled to be paid while they think of maybe something that could be a book.

When it comes to development underemployment, now the company owns the copyright and now you are going through drafts of things. In movies, we’ve always had this issue because we were paid for a draft. We used to be paid for two, then they started saying, “We’re just going to guarantee you one.” Then you would do a gazillion drafts before you turn that draft in mostly for one of these useless producers. All of whom were terrified that if this movie didn’t get made, they were never going to get paid anything themselves.

In certain cases, when people weren’t paid very much, when you broke it out over the course of weeks, they were dipping below WGA minimum. And we’ve been struggling with that since as long as you and I have been in this business. It helped a little bit. Something that I’d been pushing since 2004 when I was on the board, and now, if you are near a certain amount, you get a guaranteed second step, which is helping. Television suffered a far more serious situation where the advent of mini rooms, which is the stupidest name to describe what that is– I’m going to stop calling them mini rooms.

Let’s call them development rooms. Let’s call them pre-green light rooms. The network or streamer is saying, “We’re going to pay you. We own this idea now. We’re not sure if we’re going to make it. You guys go work on it for eight weeks and then we’ll decide if we’re going to make it. At that point, we’ll probably fire seven of you. The one of you that’s left will write this thing.” Is that wage theft? Not necessarily. It’s wage limitation. It’s a lack of job security.

But that one person who’s left over now may have so much time to work on stuff under one aspect of, yes, it can turn into wage theft, but what the Writers Guild needs to figure out — and this is where we are complicit — is how to solve the problem of writers being paid like producers because we don’t have any control over that. And for the longest time and continuing, networks and streamers say, “We’re going to pay you Writers Guild minimums or roughly minimums to make sure you get healthcare and pension. The rest of all the money we pay you will be as a producer.” That’s the wild west.

Writers and agents have generally liked it because it means they didn’t have to pay as many dues. While you and I were paying 1.5% of every dollar we made on movies, people who are making $50 million a year, were paying less than dues. We still have this problem. We’re complicit. I don’t know the answer to this.

John: We talk about mini rooms and how they divvy up the labor in ways that it is so frustrating. The other problem is just time. Classically in television, because there was a cycle, you knew when you were done and you just don’t know when you’re done now in television because we’re developing this thing, but we don’t think it’s quite ready yet, or it’s not the right time to go to this thing, so you’re just being strung along for a long time on a project in ways that is familiar to feature writers, but is new to TV writers.

These TV writers are like, “I have this thing that looks like it’s maybe going to happen, but is it going to happen? Should I try to staff on another show? What should I do?” It’s creating these impossible situations where you’re trying to figure out like, “I want to be available to actually run my show, should the opportunity come up. But I don’t know whether this is going to happen.” Year-round development makes that much trickier. There’s generally not a clock on these things. It doesn’t stop at a certain point.

Craig: No. The season still exists for network television because network television is reliant on ads and that’s when the ad cycles new cars come out in the fall and all that. But the vast majority of streaming is not on any kind of calendar. There is no predictability. The Writers Guild has done some good work in helping writers not get trapped by exclusivity where you say, I’m going to be exclusive to this thing for as long as it gets developed and then the development phase stretches out in an insane way and you’re sitting around doing nothing but you can’t go anywhere else.

John: You’re not contractually barred from doing that thing, but there’s a soft way that you’re stuck to a thing.

Craig: We’re trying to work on that. I think also, the business representatives aren’t stupid. They are trying to make money, too. What I think is going to start happening is a little bit like when you get on a Southwest flight from Burbank to Las Vegas and they get on the thing and say, “Oh, we have overbooked this flight. We’re going to need two people to volunteer to get the F off this flight.” We’re going to overbook people. It’s inevitable. We’re going to overbook people because this is the behavior it is, because they’ve created that situation.

If you are successful enough to be, to have multiple people interested in you, that’s what’s just going to happen. You’re going to have to double-book stuff. I don’t know how else to get around it. They’re going to have to deal with it. If you are, however, a writer that is psychologically reliant on the notion of a cycle, well, it’s over. Welcome to the world that you and I lived in and continue to live in, which is there is no cycle, there is no calendar. There is a constant entrepreneurialism that is required.

John: It’s a hustle. Let’s answer some listener questions. The first one comes from a person you and I both know, but we’re not going to use their name. M writes, “My writing partner and I were sent a feature script by a producer we’ve worked with before. He has his producer set up at Studio A and is looking for a rewrite. Now, what he doesn’t know is that about 10 years ago, my writing partner and I, wrote a script for Studio B with virtually the same premise. It’s not the most original premise. We know of another project out there with the same basic idea. Our scripted Studio B is dead, as far as we know. In fact, the division it was written for no longer exists.

If we were to get this rewrite job at Studio A, I imagine that we’ll be borrowing certain themes, ideas, and jokes that we used in our old script for Studio B. Are there any legal issues we could face doing that? Should we inform Studio A about the situation? If so, can we wait until after we get the job? Any thoughts, Craig, would be appreciated.

Craig: Well, it is something that should be disclosed. If you do it after you get the job, you can still get in trouble because everybody’s contract very clearly states that you warrant this work is wholly original that you’re going to do. It is important, yes, to disclose it. I don’t think it would be anything anyone will be scared of, but the studio and business affairs would need to take a look at that other script to make sure that in the new script, you’re not taking anything that is intellectual property from that first one. If it’s possible to go and buy that one from the defunct or whatever the inherited company is, that might be one way to get around this.

Personally, I think it needs to be disclosed because the worst possible situation would be to get all the way to a movie about to come out, and whoever does own that script, they’re just waiting. If they see this happen, they don’t do anything. They wait. They’re waiting for the moment of maximum leverage, which will be three weeks before your movie comes out, and then they will file an injunction, and now everyone’s in trouble. And Studio A is going to have to pay a ton of money to Studio B to shut them up and let the movie come out, and then you will be blamed.

John: I think, Craig, you’re envisioning a scenario which you’re taking stuff from the other thing. You’re recognizing that there’s things that are going to be naturally lifted from that first script into that second script. I think I’m seeing this in a different way. It’s like, we wrote a baseball movie for Studio A and now they’re hiring us to write a baseball movie for Studio B, do I need to disclose I’ve ever written a baseball movie before? No, I don’t think so.

Craig: Well, yes, if it’s that broad, of course, no. I wrote a comedy for this [unintelligible 00:42:16], I can write a comedy for you, a sports baseball movie, I could write 12 baseball movies. Ron Shelton has written dozens of sports movies, but this sounds a little more specific. The thing that made me nervous was when they said jokes. When you’re talking about stuff that is a unique expression in fixed form, you’re now talking about material that is copyrighted, and then you do have a problem.

Furthermore, people don’t need to have an airtight case to sue, they just need a good enough reason to sue. I would be concerned enough to just say, “Actually, we want to be fully forward about this. We did this, we can’t use any of that. What we can do, however, are things that aren’t copyrighted, theme, ideas, of course.” Personally, I would disclose it. I don’t know who their lawyer is, but if your lawyer says, “No, don’t disclose it.” They’re their lawyer, they know better than I do, but I would.

John: The reality is, as Craig says, you can get sued for any reason.

Craig: Sure.

John: Ron Shelton could get sued if there’s someone saying like, “This baseball movie you wrote for us is too much like the baseball movie you wrote for somebody,” or something like that. It can happen. It’s not likely to happen.

Craig: Every time something happens that’s successful, somebody sues somebody. That’s inevitable, but most of the time, 99% of the time, it’s just dumb phishing expositions that get chucked out of court. You and I have reported so many times on these things. Not once, not once has anybody won one of these things, but that’s different than a studio suing a studio. That’s a very different thing. When studios sue studios, they have a case.

John: They do.

Craig: And that means there’s going to be some sort of settlement, and the closer it is to that moment where you are going to suffer tremendous financial loss if your movie cannot actually be shown in theaters on the weekend you’ve booked, you’re going to pay.

John: Can you think of any examples where a studio has sued another studio over –?

Craig: I don’t remember a specific case of a major studio suing a major studio openly. I think there have been situations where major studios have called major studios and said, “We’re going to sue you, let’s start talking about this before we file an injunction, and so forth.” But Major studios have sued small studios repeatedly, repeatedly.

It’s because smaller studios, and when I say– I’m not talking about independent studios making art films like A24, I’m talking about, for lack of a better term, schlockmeisters, who are selling rip-offs anyway.

Well, you can rip off to a point, and then when you get into that area of intellectual property, that’s when they come up for you and that’s what they get you, and they typically win.

John: Let’s try one more question here. This is from Michelle. She’s writing, “I would love to hear more about the pros and cons of the cost-plus model and how it’s calculated. I’ve heard general discussions about the lack of residuals, but I don’t understand how the math maths. Is it more money upfront? Does this help shows with modest viewership, but hurt big hits? If Netflix takes the risk on whether it will be a big hit, is it helpful to the average show or new writers? Does this affect writers differently from actors? It sounds like the industry was hoping that Netflix would change its model, but didn’t. What does someone like Shonda do?”

Craig: Well, Shonda is certainly in a different situation because Shonda is getting paid an enormous amount of money just to be there at all. The cost-plus model basically says, “We’re going to give you the amount of money required to make the show, and then we’re going to give you a certain amount on top of that to put in your pocket, and that’s the last time we’re going to pay you.”

Cost-plus models is– a lot of general contractors will use this. They come to say, “Okay, here’s the budget for your renovations. It’s going to cost $300,000. We’re going to charge you $350,000 and you’re never going to see a penny more. Then that’s it. Unless you change something significantly, that’s what we’re going to be.” Rather than coming to you in the middle and going, “The price of wood just went up.” The problem with the cost-plus model is that it limits the upside dramatically, and it’s particularly punishing on those runaway hits.

The question is, is cost-plus good for us? Well, if Netflix wants to do it, then the answer is no. If a corporation is really dead set on imposing a financial model on artists, then it’s not good for artists. Otherwise, why would they want to do it? Of course, it’s beneficial for them. Of course, in the long run, they’ve run the math and they know they’re going to save money. It’s the question of gambling.

Like, “Okay, we can let everybody play these slot machines and pay one person a million dollars every week when they hit a jackpot. Or we can let everyone play these slot machines to guarantee that almost all of them will walk away making $10 and we win.” Cost-plus is not anything that anybody in the creative community wants. The agents don’t want it, the managers, nobody wants it, except for people who are thinking to themselves, “This is going to be a loser.” Then, sure. Like, “I think this is bad. We got away with it. We’ll take whatever the–”

John: Yes. It has perverse incentives, so there’s no incentive to make something amazing because the success on the streamer does not reward you. It can reward you with future projects down the road, it’s only your own reputation that’s going to succeed or fail because of it. That’s the basic complaint against this cost-plus model.

Now, when Netflix is first starting out, I can understand why people would take those deals and why it makes those deals because we didn’t know what is success. We have no idea what success is. Is that backend going to be meaningful at all? Those first couple of years, I get why we’re going to overpay people basically and do it that way.

Craig: Yes. We did– I’m not sure how it’s working out so far, but the writer’s guild in the wake of the strike and then the contract that ensued did get some kind of method for success-based payments in streaming. They’re hard to hit. The success has to be really big. My guess is we probably haven’t even started to generate enough data to see how that’s working out.

John: I think also by breaking through that seal, it also means that superstar actors and directors, and other folks can start to get paid some backend that’s independent of residuals based on a huge success.

Craig: What Netflix has started to do is create a sports-style model of free agency where what you do is reward people that are creating things that are very popular with an enormous amount of money just here. Like boom, here, Shonda, boom, here. Ryan Murphy, boom, here, Rian Johnson, boom. Then everybody else is just kind of, it doesn’t matter whether you do well or not, that individual project, whatever money they make from that, they take that money.

Then you’re just waiting around for them to go, “Okay, we’ve decided now you’re so valuable to us, we’re going to give you this big dump truck of money here. Boom.” That is not helpful for most people and it doesn’t seem like it’s sustainable anyway. I think Netflix has probably left the era of that kind of payment. I don’t think we’re going to be seeing the billion-dollar deals or the $500 million deals anymore from them. I don’t think they can sustain that. I think they know that.

Then the question is, how do we maybe start breaking through more on that cost-plus thing? What it comes down to is basically whether or not other streamers can effectively compete to the level that they have the financial security to lure people back. HBO has made an investment in me. That’s great, but Max is not the size of Netflix. They can’t do that with 12 other people. That’s where it’s gotten interesting. I don’t know how this will all work out other than to say that agents seem to always win in the long run. Let’s see if they can beat Netflix. I don’t know.

John: It is time for our one cool things. I have two cool things this week.

Craig: Okay.

John: First off, Craig, do you like Tower Defense games? Do you know the genre Tower Defense?

Craig: I do, and I don’t.

John: The general idea of Tower Defense is that you are trying to protect some area, generally the center of your map and there are invaders. You’re trying to set up obstacles in their way and towers that will shoot them down before they–

Craig: Very anxiety based.

John: Yes, anxiety based. I’m playing a new one called Isle of Arrows, which is not actually brand new, but it’s new to me. It’s roguelike in the sense that after every round, you have cards, you can draw it and you can set like, “Okay, now I can set a path. I can set a tower.” You’re really constrained in how you can do it. It’s also roguelike in the sense of this is too hard, so you’re like, “Why can’t I win?” Then you realize, oh, that’s actually–

Craig: That’s the point.

John: That’s the point, is you get better. You accumulate better cards along the way. I’m enjoying that a lot. The other thing I’m enjoying a lot is this book by Tony Tulathimutte called Rejection. It’s a collection of four or five short stories all on a theme of a character who has a worldview and about how the world should treat them, and they are wrong. It pays off in great ways. It reminded me of our conversation last week at the live show. We were talking with Rachel Kondo about how the ideal short story has that sense of surprise and inevitability. These stories are delightfully that.

Craig: Oh, I love that.

John: It’s really fun. It’s described as a comedy and it’s like the stories are you win so much that it’s almost not a comedy, but they are very well done.

Craig: Cringe comedy.

John: Cringe comedy, yes.

Craig: Cringe comedy.

John: Yes.

Craig: My one cool thing this week is a documentary series, I believe there are four, I don’t know, say five episodes, possibly six. It’s on aforementioned Netflix and it is called Mr. McMahon.

John: I don’t know, what is this?

Craig: Mr. McMahon is the documentary about Vince McMahon, the Impresario of Professional Wrestling WWF, WWE, all its various names.

John: Let’s get ready to rumble. The trademark phrase.

Craig: Well, let’s get ready to rumble. Yes, some of that was in boxing and in UFC, which they ended up buying. I’m guessing you didn’t watch much professional wrestling.

John: I did not. Yes, of course.

Craig: Like Hulk Hogan and all that nonsense. Enormous business. Huge. What it is a study in is a– well, I’m just going to go out on a limp here. He seems like a sociopath. What he locked into for the first time made me go, “I think now I understand the whole Trump thing.” Obviously not in support of Trump, but rather trying to figure out why. Why is everybody falling for this? Vince McMahon lays out this remarkable point of view that entertainment and engagement with people comes down to causing real emotion in them. Disgust, hatred, rejection, betrayal, those work just as well, if not better, than positive emotions.

In fact, what he did was, as his business was being challenged by another wrestling organization, he began to create himself as a character in WWF called Mr. McMahon who was a villain. Did everything he could to make people hate him. The more they hated him, the more intuit they got. And it is pretty startling to watch how brilliant and terrifying he is. The context for the whole thing is that all the interviews with him and all the interviews with everybody else occurred before, I believe it was February of this year, when Vince McMahon, it was revealed that he’s under investigation for sex trafficking.

The specific allegations are horrendous. Horrendous. This, by the way, not the first time that he had been accused of sexual assault or coercing employees or anything. This was like the 19th time. These allegations are so lurid and barf-worthy, and you realize, okay, actually, he is a villain. Man, he encapsulated something about American culture and how to get people to get into you that is so horrifying and insightful. Well worth watching. You don’t need to know anything about wrestling to watch it. It’s a slow-motion horror movie.

John: Maybe not this week, but another week after.

Craig: Yes. Let’s see maybe if next week’s–

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Troy. This week it came from Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. We get so many great outros, but we always love more. Please send them through. ask@johnaugust is also where you can send questions. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. You can find links there for our live show, which is December 6th, and for this Alpha Birds play thing that we’re doing in Culver City.

It’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for a weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have t-shirts and hoodies and such. They’re great. You’ll find those at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all those back episodes and bonus segments. The one we’re about to record on things we learned during the pandemic that we are still doing. Craig, thanks for a fun show.

Craig: Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Okay, Craig. There was a point as the pandemic was descending where everything changed. We started staying at home, and we’re no longer staying at home. We were out socializing. We were seeing folks at the Austin Film Festival. I want to talk about the things that changed and stuck, and things that we’re still doing post pandemic. I’ll start with Zoom. Zoom was not a thing we were using before. You and I were Skyping before.

Craig: Oh, yes. Stupid Skype. Zoom, a conspiracy minded person might imagine that the Zoom Corporation invented and released COVID-19 into the wild because it came along right around when we needed it. Prior to that, video conferencing existed. No one liked it. No one.

John: No one.

Craig: No one used it. It’s a little bit like the way no one really likes calling each other on the phone. That’s the way video conferencing was. Then suddenly, Zoom came along and that’s all we did all the time with everyone. I don’t know what it was about Zoom, but that’s what happened.

John: Before the pandemic, there were a couple of WJ meetings where I had to call in to it. It was this system called BlueJeans, the absolute worst.

Craig: I remember BlueJean, yes.

John: All just like audio conference calls, which were absolutely the worst. There was something about Zoom, which just, it all worked. You could actually have conversations that were real-time because you could see people’s faces. You could not talk over them. I’ve never met Tina Fey, but I met her on Zoom in the first week of the Pandemic.

Craig: Obviously, we played D&D on Zoom. One of the things that happened in the Pandemic was we went from a difficult to schedule once a month D&D game to a regular weekly D&D game.

John: It was great.

Craig: Awesome, and we still, because so many of us are scattered around. Maybe I’m off in Canada working on the show or somebody’s somewhere else on vacation. A lot of times we still Zoom, and that works. So I think, yes.

John: We also moved over to Roll20, a virtual tabletop. Rather than looking at a physical map, we are all looking at maps on our screens. Even now that we’re back in-person playing, we’re still looking at Roll20 because it’s just better.

Craig: It’s just better. We all sit there in the same room together, but with our laptops. That is much better. That has changed. And of course, working from home, which I think a lot of businesses now are really struggling with. Somebody told me– I won’t say which company or what department, I’ll just say somebody said that there’s a department in their company, and a big one, where no one really came back. Everybody was like, “We like working at home.”

This person said that department just doesn’t function because there is no cohesion whatsoever. No one knows what anyone’s doing, but everybody suspects that the other person’s doing nothing. The only work that happens are meetings, which is just vaporous nonsense. Nothing actually gets done because you’re not sitting in the room looking across at somebody saying, “I am disappointed in this, make this better.” I understand why companies are saying, “Hey, sorry, you got to come in.”

John: Megan, when she was working for me as my assistant and as the Scriptnotes producer, she came in every day. Then during the pandemic, of course, she was not coming in, so she was on Zoom. Then as Drew got hired on to work this job, we realized it’s actually better that he is not here every day. Drew’s like three days a week and other things are on Zoom because the rest of the team is all on Zoom. Recognizing that when some people are in person in a room and some people are on Zoom, that’s a mess.

Craig: That’s the worst. We really try and avoid that. For instance, in prep and production, we’ll have some big meetings. The big production meeting, there’s like 50 people there. Seven of them are remote because they’re scouting or they’re off doing whatever. Well, 19 people get into a boardroom and then the seven people are on a big screen there. That’s the only way to get it done. Is just, what we can’t do is have everybody in their own office on Zoom or two people together sharing. None of that works. It is impressive how video conferencing was a zero, and now it’s just this accepted part of life.

John: Another thing that changed a lot was Keynote for me. Keynote or any slide decks because I wasn’t doing those at all before, I knew what Keynote was. I could do it if I needed to. I’d done some talks with Keynote, but the idea of building something in Keynote to show something for a pitch or for a meeting, which is now going to be on Zoom, was suddenly so useful and practical. Not for every meeting or every pitch do I need to do something, but for a lot of them I was, and so I was going out pitching around town with a Keynote.

This project, I’m doing. This video game, I’m working on, the proposal for the proof of concept, this is what the game is. I built that out as a deck. It was super useful. Then yesterday, I needed to show something about the scoring mechanism, what that was. It’s like, oh, it makes much more sense for me to do that in a Keynote than to try to type it out because I can actually visually show that thing. Pre-pandemic, I wasn’t doing that and now I feel like it’s maybe 5% of my job, but a significant portion of my job is building and running a Keynote.

Craig: I think it’s a great way for people, we’ve talked about this before, who may not necessarily communicate best in a steady verbal flow, but rather communicate better in an organized fashion connected to slides in a deck. If you are the person that just loves to do the talking, do the talking. Don’t be afraid. “Where’s your deck? We’re not going to hire a room without a deck.” Now, if you’re awesome, then believe me, it’ll be fine. The existence of that and the delivery mechanism, is harder to do, I imagine in person. To sit there and turn your laptop around. It may be awkward. On Zoom you just hear like, “So I’m going to go ahead and share my screen.”

John: Here’s what I always say. It’s like people now who like, listen to this podcast who are in meetings with like, “So I’m going to share my screen now.” When I do that, you’re going to get small. Just make sure if you have a question, just speak up because I can–

Craig: You’re going to get small. We’re used to all of that now.

The thing about the pandemic that didn’t stick around, I think really is a sense of paranoia in public. Which is different than a reasonable concern about yourself. If you have a compromised immune system or you think maybe you have been sick, or you live with somebody who really can’t afford to get ill, most normal people aren’t going to give you a hard time. Yes, they’re idiots in fricking Mississippi, like “get your mask off.” Most people are like, you get on a plane, there’s one or two people wearing masks. No one gives them crap but most people don’t.

John: Yes. Mike and I are sometimes there’s one or two people on a plane with a mask, and the calculation I do is like, how much would it suck to get sick at that destination? What is my risk tolerance here? I will tend to do it in a crowded airport when I’m on the plane. Once the plane is actually up and running and the air filters are going, I feel pretty good taking my mask off. What I do notice is that if I’m feeling sick, I will default to going for a test just because I don’t want to spread it around or be the problem.

Craig: I think testing for COVID is something that is permanent now. Whereas nobody ever tested to see if they had a cold. Occasionally, you would test to confirm that you had the flu, but really only when Tamiflu came around. Prior to that, it didn’t matter. You’re sick. Probably the flu, nothing you can do. Rest and drink lots of fluids.

John: Now that there actually are solutions to some of these diseases, that’s what made a difference.

Craig: Then it’s worth testing. But for COVID, first thing you do, and it’s this strange thing where you don’t feel good and then you take a test, and it’s not COVID, and you’re like, “Awesome.” No, not necessarily. You’re still sick.

John: I got a shitty goal. It was a hassle to get through.

Craig: You’re going to make other people sick if they’re not aware. That strange COVID exception still exists. Testing still exists.

John: If there’s a person you’ve only talked to on Zoom, have you met them?

Craig: There is a person I’ve only talked to on Zoom.

John: Would you say that you’ve met them and you know them?

Craig: I know them very well. I’m thinking particularly of Mark Halpin, who is one of the best puzzle constructors on the planet. He lives in Kentucky, just south of the Indiana border. He teaches, I believe, theatric production design or stage design at the University of Cincinnati, I want to say. He’s a genius. I have been on a gazillion Zooms with him as our puzzle crew. Either works on puzzles together, works on puzzles he’s created that he’s just watching us, or we had a crew that played a lot of Codenames a lot of Decrypto together. I feel like I know him very well and I have not met him in person. It’s been many years.

John: There’re executives who I’ve been on a project with like two years, never met him in person.

Craig: Well that’s a delight.

John: It’s how it goes though sometimes. I think I’m okay with that in a way that I wouldn’t be okay with that on a phone call. Here’s the other thing I would say is like, when people will have a four-person phone call, why is this not a Zoom? That drives me crazy.

Craig: There are some people that still want to do the conference call.

John: Yes. I think about Zoom, it’s like you’re going to a destination. It’s like you’re going into a room and everyone’s going to be in that room at a certain point in time versus like, a call is like, someone’s joining the call.

Craig: Because it’s–

John: Be in a middle conversation.

Craig: No one knows when to speak. Two people start talking once then stop, then start together again, then stop.

John: “Now you go.”

Craig: Then there’s always one person who’s somewhere noisy and doesn’t understand how to mute their phone. It’s just like– and I’ve always hated conference calls. They always just seemed awful. Zooms feel so easy. If you’re somewhere where you don’t want to be seen, just turn your camera off.

John: Totally. The last thing I’ll say is that correlates to that is there’s definitely been situations where this Zoom could have been not just an email, like a text message. It was literally like, “Oh my God, I can’t believe we scheduled this thing because you had 30 seconds of information to give me.”

Craig: It could have been an email.

John: At least I didn’t have to drive to Disney for it.

Craig: At least you didn’t. Can you remember driving in traffic? Didn’t know necessarily there’s two ways to get to Disney. I’m going to pick this one. I think, oh, picked wrong.

John: You picked wrong.

Craig: Oh my God, this is horrible. Get there. Then someone’s 20 minutes late, then you sit down, then they say something and you’re like, what? No, this. They’re like, “Oh, great. Okay. Meeting over,” and then oh my God.

John: I’m trying to think, have I been on every studio lot since the pandemic? Have I been on Sony’s lot? I’m not sure.

Craig: I’ve been on Sony’s lot. I don’t think I’ve been on the Fox lot since the pandemic. I’ve definitely been on Universal and Warner Brothers.

John: I’ve been to Fox.

Craig: Oh, and Disney. I’ve been in Disney. No Fox. I haven’t been to Fox. It’s weird. What is Fox lot?

John: Fox is Fox.

Craig: Is it?

John: It was Ghosty before the pandemic.

Craig: Yes. I don’t actually know what goes on on the Fox lot anymore. I know that they still make the Apes movies. The Simpsons folks are there. I think the Family Guy people are there.

John: Have you been to the Amazon MGM offices?

Craig: Not yet. No.

John: The absolute craziest places I’ve been because like there’s not– so it’s the old Culver lots, so it’s Gone With the Windy kind of lot. They have some old bungalow buildings, but they also have these big modern things. The meeting I went there for, I parked in this garage. Sure, fine. Whatever. They’re like, “Okay, go to this thing. There’s a bungalow.” I check in an outdoor place, then check in an indoor place in the bungalow, and they’re like, oh, someone will come and get you.

This was a scenario where I’m the only person in this room, but there’s a security guard who’s sitting there. She’s with a little iPad and I think I cough, but like, not in a COVID way. Just clear my throat cough. She takes out a bottle of Lysol and sprays the air around her.

Craig: That may be about her.

John: That may be about her.

Craig: It can’t possibly be policy at MGM.

John: I don’t think it was a policy at MGM, but then a person comes to get me and then takes me into one of the crazy glass buildings. Then up through a magical elevator. It was weird.

Craig: Yes, I do remember going at some point, but I don’t know if it’s still the MGM offices or not. I remember it was in a glass skyscraper building.

John: It felt Amazon in a way where it was a very secure fire doors.

Craig: Yes. Somewhat sterile.

John: Yes.

Craig: The HBO offices — tragedy. I’m just going to go — listen. I don’t care. I don’t think I go to those offices very often, so I can’t imagine that I’m going to get in trouble for this. We’ll find out. The old HBO offices were in this Warren in a building in Santa Monica.

John: I remember that.

Craig: You couldn’t find anything. An assistant always had to guide you to the bathroom. There was like, “And here’s a map to find your way back.” It was the hallways and there were, but, but. Had a little bit of character. People had offices with doors that could close.

John: Nice.

Craig: There were meeting rooms. Now, they’re in this monstrosity in Culver City. It is an open plan. It is the most open plan I’ve ever seen in my life. Most people are in cubicles. Then the people that have earned offices, it’s basically all the doors are glass, all the walls are glass. They can all look into each other’s eyes all the time.

John: Classic UTA, yes.

Craig: Horrible, UTA-ish. If you want to make a phone call and you don’t have an office, they have little booths that you can go into. It’s almost like they should just call it a dignity booth, which is meaning you have no dignity. Now, everybody knows you’re on a phone call and you’re sitting in there in this weird booth, which again is a glass door, I think. It’s just horrible. I don’t know why opaque doors, they’re important. Sometimes you need to close a door.

John: Yes. Blow your nose, yes, whatever.

Craig: I don’t know. I’ve only been there a couple of times because normally, Zoom, phone calls. It’s a weird place.

John: Yes. I went in for a meeting with Range, the management company that’s out in Santa Monica. It reminded me of a super, super, super high-end airport lounge. This is cool. This is nice but it was like an airport lounge. Everyone was just on laptops around.

Craig: It’s horrible.

John: I’m like, okay.

Craig: It’s horrible.

John: I had a meeting in one conference room.

Craig: I hate it. If I had a business that required lots of employees and a big office space, I would do the normal thing. Just normal. What’s wrong with that? Just here in office, close the door. Yes, there would be some people do work in cubicles. I understand the need for that space. But yeah, it wouldn’t be like this horror show of like this forced, “Oh, yes, we don’t have walls here.” Yes, we do.

John: Yes. You wonder why people don’t want to go back to work.

Craig: Exactly. I don’t want to go back to work because it’s creepy. Because I’m never alone. Because I don’t have a moment to close my door and cry.

John: Sometimes you need to cry.

Craig: I see people crying in their cars all the time in LA. Have you noticed it?

John: I haven’t noticed that much. I can believe it, but I haven’t actually seen it.

Craig: The car has become the place people can cry because they can’t cry at work anymore.

John: Yes.

Craig: So sad.

John: It’s a very emotional episode.

Craig: Yes.

John: All right. Thanks, Craig.

Craig: Thank you, John.

Links:

  • Scriptnotes LIVE! December 6th at Dynasty Typewriter
  • AlphaBirds Game Night at Village Well
  • The Big Squeeze: Why Everyone in Hollywood Feels Stuck by Mia Gallupo for the Hollywood Reporter
  • ‘Development is Wage Theft’: Pilot Season Death Morphs Into Year-Round Hell by Elaine Low for The Ankler
  • Isle of Arrows
  • Rejection by Tony Tulathimutte
  • Mr. McMahon on Netflix
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram, Twitter and Mastodon
  • Outro by Nick Moore (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, with special help this week from Chris Csont and Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 661: Screenwriting is a Poorly Defined Problem, Transcript

November 20, 2024 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: This is episode 661 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, why is screenwriting, both the craft and the profession, so difficult? Why are the people who were really good in school not necessarily good at screenwriting?

Craig: Nerds.

John: We’ll take a look at what’s weird about screenwriting and why skills in other areas don’t always translate well. Then it’s another round of the three-page challenge where we look at submissions from our listeners and give our honest feedback. In our bonus segment for premium members, how do you talk about movies and series without spoiling them? We’ll offer our tips and tricks and suggestions.

Craig: We are five episodes away from 666.

John: Now, Craig, let’s talk about this because Drew brought this up. We need to think of something for episode 666, the number of the beast.

Craig: It’s almost going to line up with Halloween. It won’t but it’s close.

John: It won’t. It’s close-ish.

Craig: I feel like we should have Megana on because, A, it’s spooky season, B, 666, it feels like she would have input.

John: Yeah. Should we focus on devil and possession movies?

Craig: That’s a great idea, actually. The Exorcist is one of my favorite movies.

John: Let’s do it.

Craig: Yes. I am not a horror movie aficionado. I like a good horror movie, but I’m not somebody that subscribed to Fangoria when I was a kid and saw all those slasher films like the ‘80s. So Drew, you remember the ‘80s.

Drew Marquardt: Oh, yeah.

Craig: John and I would walk into a video store, not Blockbuster, didn’t exist yet.

John: Our local video store.

Craig: Local video store. There would be a wall, just a solid wall of videotapes of nothing but movies where people slashed each other with blades. They all had great names like I Dismember Mama. There were like twelve Prom Nights. I never saw any of them. Wasn’t necessarily my thing, but The Exorcist had a profound impact on me. I do think it’s an incredible film and well worth discussing.

John: Yes, let’s do it. I haven’t seen The Exorcist probably since it came out. Honestly, I think most of my experience with The Exorcist has been while my parents were out, I would be watching it on TV and get so scared that I have to change the channel.

Craig: That’s correct. The other film that we should probably take a look at is a movie that, and I’m going to get in so much trouble, but it’s too late at this point, right, for me, is The Omen. Because The Omen came out somewhat contemporaneously with The Exorcist, not inspired by, but it existed in part because of The Exorcist. The Omen is the film that made a big deal about 666. I think The Omen is an inferior film to The Exorcist. It would be interesting to compare and contrast.

John: Sure.

Craig: There are some wonderful things in The Omen. It’s still better than most movies that try and do possession stuff now, but not as good as The Exorcist. The Exorcist also, and we’ll get there at episode 666, is a fantastic example of a film that is in a genre where almost every movie is bad and somehow they were great. That’s fascinating to me.

John: Yeah. There’s lots of examples of police procedurals or we’ve got to find the killer movies. Then there’s Silence of the Lambs, which is just like such a cut above–

Craig: Something else, right? It’s not doing anything necessarily overtly different. It’s worth digging into what they do subtly that does make it better.

John: Fantastic. This discussion of the video store we used to go to, it’s reminding me of a conversation I had this last week with my reps. We were talking about how the business was overall. We’re saying like, “Okay, well, streaming has never come back to what it was before. There’s never going to be as many deals as there were.” They were referring back to, oh, but we’re now never going to get back to the era of made-for-home video and the ability to make a zillion movies because you knew you could make a profit off of them on home video.

Craig: Unless something happens. That’s the thing.

John: Unless something happens. It totally could happen.

Craig: Yes. I don’t think anybody saw home video on the horizon in the ‘60s, for instance. Maybe some engineers at early Sony and their Betamax experiments, they were thinking, “Oh, maybe.”

I always think of that moment in Men in Black where Tommy Lee Jones shows Will Smith how the aliens have figured out how to make a tiny CD and that he’s going to have to buy the White Album all over again. The entertainment business is really good at figuring out ways to get us to buy the same thing we already own over and over and over. Some new format, some new thing. It’s almost inevitable. We all figured like, “Oh, streaming, I guess, one day would be–“ We just didn’t realize how fast and how intense it would be.

John: I think we all assumed that, okay, well, this is going to kill home video because you’ll just stream stuff. We didn’t realize there’d be a made-for-streaming boom that would change the industry, but then it would contract again and leave a lot of people– there’d be a musical chairs quality of it.

Craig: We had a bubble. I think that’s fair to say. What did Landgraf call peak television, peak TV? 600 and some odd, maybe 666? It was possibly 666 streaming television series. That’s obviously the work of Satan. What it’s back down to, I think a lot of people are thinking is some abnormally small number. I suspect we still have more television shows available now than we did, say, in the ‘90s. It was networks and some basic cable.

John: In addition to things that were made for streaming, we have things that were made for international audiences, made for global audiences that are available now. We’re watching series that are in English or other languages from other places too. There’s a lot more content still.

Craig: There is. There’s a ton of stuff. The contraction, I think the absolute number of television shows is it’s not something that’s going to make anyone feel better if they were employed within that bubble. I don’t think they’re going to sit there and go, “Well, but there’s still a few more than there were in the ‘90s.” It’s not exactly a relief. Contraction is difficult, even if it follows expansion.

John: Talking with my reps this week, we had a dinner. I’ve got a sampling of what they’re experiencing because you and I, we all have our own experiences and our friends we’re talking to. Reps, they’re making a bunch of deals all the time. I was asking them what’s happening? They say there are a lot of deals being made and pilots are selling, and stuff is selling, and pitches are selling, but there’s not flow. There’s a lot of one-off things that are happening and it’s busy, but not in a regular way and it’s not a predictable way. You can’t say, “Oh, this is how it’s building up to this thing.” The machine is shuddering.

Craig: It’s trying to figure itself out.

John: Which feels accurate.

Craig: That’s right. We have one predominant streaming service that is very successful at what they do, which is obviously Netflix. There’s Apple, who I don’t think care necessarily because they have more money than most nations. There’s Amazon, who I think presents their streaming service probably as some loss leader to make money off of their core business.

John: They want to make a lot of movies.

Craig: They do. I’m thinking about what your representative said about the flow.

Amazon and Apple probably aren’t going to create this rhythmic vacuum that you need to fill. Obviously, Netflix has that machinery. How Max and Peacock and Disney Plus function, am I missing one? Hulu? Hulu is Disney Plus. Paramount is Peacock?

John: No, Paramount is Paramount.

Craig: Oh, they’re their own?

John: Paramount CBS.

Craig: Paramount Plus. Paramount CBS. Right. Of course. How could I have possibly confused these? All of them, I think, are still trying to figure out how much, how frequently.

John: What’s the right number?

Craig: What’s the right number? What’s the right rhythm? That makes complete sense to me.

John: On the feature side, what I was hearing from them is that studio sides are saying the covers are bare for right now. There’s not the next thing to put into production. Summer 2026 is going to be super jam-packed, every weekend is full, which is great. Good problems to have.

Craig: The strike.

John: Yes, exactly.

Craig: That’s bottom line, right? It’s going to happen. It’s a really interesting thing. When I talk to people, what I often hear is, “We need stuff, but it’s hard for us–“ This is them talking about their own internal process as buyers. It’s not as easy as it used to be to get your bosses to agree to buy something.

John: Absolutely.

Craig: So you are responsible if you’re on a certain level at one of these places. I’ve talked to people, streamers and everywhere, and they’ll say, “I need to get five shows on the air next year. I don’t have them. I can’t get them to pay for the things I want. I can get them to pay an insane amount of money, but only when the algorithm says that it fits their thing. But I know that we already have those–“

It’s almost like we have a bunch of people making a lot of food on the street, and we have a bunch of hungry people driving around, and there’s somebody next to the hungry people going, “No, just keep going, or try something else, or go somewhere else.” I can see why it’s difficult. Yes, the machine is not functioning particularly efficiently right now.

John: It’s like a dating app where the algorithm is wrong and swiping one way or another way. You’re not matching up with the interested parties.

Craig: Yes. Yes. That’s actually a great idea for a dating app, where if you swipe right or left, it has to go through an intermediary who considers whether or not you’ve made the right choice.

John: Yes. I like that.

Craig: Maybe changes it.

John: Yes. Maybe you designate a friend who is actually a serious concierge there who’s like, “No, I don’t think that we want this.”

Craig: “Actually, you really should give this person a shot. It’s a bad pick, I know. Give them a shot.” I think that might be nice.

John: Absolutely.

Craig: Let’s get into that.

John: You don’t do app development, but my company does do app development. This is my segue into saying that we’re actually hiring a new person. One thing I’ve learned over doing 12 years of this podcast is our audience are the best, smartest people in the world. If we need to hire somebody for somebody, this podcast is the first place to start. That’s how we found the person who fixed our WordPress plugins, the video game that we’re doing. Let’s do this.

We are hiring a person to do marketing for us, for Highland, Weekend Read, Bronson Watermarker, Writer Emergency Pack, AlphaBirds, and we need somebody who’s more of a manager than a creative. Somebody who can oversee Instagram ad campaigns, app store search optimizations, really be able to tell us what’s working and what’s not, because it’s not in our skill set. We need somebody who just does this stuff that we don’t do especially well.

Craig: Where in the world will you find somebody that knows anything about social media optimization, SEO?

John: SEO.

Craig: Yes, I’m going to guess 89% of our audience is like, “I can do that. I’m already doing that.”

John: We should stress, you probably already are doing this. We don’t want somebody who’s like, “I could learn something.” No, you need to show that you actually have done this.

Craig: Some experience here.

John: Oh, we’re pretty flexible on what the position looks like. It could be part-time or full-time. It could be fully remote. It could be a Los Angeles person. You’re probably based in the US, but if we could hire you or contract with you overseas, this may be doable. Crucially, we need somebody who already knows and is in the Mac and iOS ecosystem, because that’s what we make. You need to be part of that space. You need to know what you’re doing here in this.

Craig: You need to be good.

John: You need to be good.

Craig: Do a good job.

John: We’re going to put up a link in the show notes to a webpage that talks through what we’re looking for. If you are that person or you know that person, take a look at that. If you are the candidate, submit your stuff.

Craig: This is exciting. Does the job pay $850,000 a year?

John: It does not. It pays an amount commensurate to what the job is.

Craig: That’s fair. That sounds fair. Yes.

John: We have some follow-up. Last week, we talked about Moneyball.

Craig: Moneyball.

John: It was such a good episode. Everyone completely agreed with everything we said on the show. There was no feedback whatsoever, right?

Drew: No, my inbox has turned into an AM radio call-in show.

Craig: That’s weird. Do sports fans have any opinions?

Drew: Oh, yeah. I get stats on Johnny Damon and his–

Craig: Johnny Damon. Great. Let’s have the Johnny Damon argument. I want to.

John: Craig, you were wrong about baseball. For one thing, there is a clock because now there’s a pitch clock.

Craig: Let’s talk about the pitch clock. We actually got that note from, I believe it was a scout with the Tampa Bay Rays organization, which is awesome. I stand quasi-corrected. One of the rules changes that I referred to, I referred to a bunch of rules changes in that episode. One of them, most importantly, is the pitch clock, which makes the game go faster. The word clock there, I think would better be described as timer.

It’s a little bit like the shot clock in basketball. You have a certain amount of time to do something, or there is a, in basketball, the foul or turnover, or in baseball, it’s a strike, or it’s a ball, depending on which side of the– but the game itself has no timer. You can have an at-bat that lasts one pitch long. You can have an at-bat that lasts zero pitches long. If there’s a guy at the plate and there’s a man on first, there’s two outs, and the pitcher picks that guy off first base, inning over, man at home didn’t swing, got no pitches.
You can have an at-bat that lasts 18 pitches, all within the confines of pitch clocks.

So yes, there is a small element of a timer, but the game itself, no one can tell you at the beginning of a baseball game how long that game will last. Everyone can tell you how long a football game will be in terms of game time play, or a hockey game, or a basketball game.

John: The larger point, in terms of being a clock and not being a clock, most sports are frantic. There’s just a lot of activity suddenly all at once. Baseball, yes, there are bursts of activity, but most of it is very open and people can take their time to do a thing.

Craig: Absolutely, and innings last as long as they last, and there are nine of them. In football, a series of downs, you can have possession of a football and you keep getting a new first down, that’s great, but the clock keeps getting eaten up.

John: Yes, so unless you’re able to stop the clock by doing the thing, yes.

Craig: You can stop, but when you stop the clock, there’s no more playing, right? Then everybody talks, and then they get back and then the clock restarts. While that is a good point from the scout that there is now an element of time, where there used to be no element of time– the only element of time that there used to be in baseball was, if there’s a visit to the mound, let’s say the pitcher is in trouble or there’s a situation that requires discussion, either the pitching coach or the manager would go out to the mound, bring in the infielders, and they would all have a huddle on the mound and chat.

The umpire, at some point, will mosey on over and go, “All right guys, it’s enough. We got to go get back to playing baseball,” When? Uhh when he feels like it. Like, “Ah, it’s enough.” That’s the only thing I remember prior to the pitch clock.

John: All right, more follow-up, we talked about residuals in 658 and the fact that they are now digitally depositable.

Drew: E&A writes, “While I appreciate the greater efficiency of having residuals be direct deposit, I would like to stand up for the joys of the home-delivered paper residual. It is always a cheery surprise, a bright spot in the day, the flash of green among the mailers, the happy announcement to the household, the ritual chant of, “Big money, big money, big money,” and finally, the reveal of a quantity which may range wildly, but which is always better than nothing.

Additionally, there’s the hopefully fond memories evoked by the source of the residuals, gratitude for the achievements of the WGA in securing these residuals, and sometimes even a sense of abundance in the universe. So until paper cuts or affluence dim our delight in the little green envelopes, this house will never direct deposit our residuals.”

John: I’m completely in agreement with E&A. I loved the green envelopes, and I loved opening them and I loved having– predict how big a check would be. I would say, “Oh, it’s from Sony,” and he would nail it within 1%. He was so good at it. It’s great. It just feels like found money.

Craig: A weird carnival skill.

John: It’s like, “I don’t deserve this, but it came and it’s great.” For the last three years, four years, they’ve all been going to my business manager anyway, so I haven’t seen them.

Craig: Yeah, I completely salute this person and the love of the green envelope and the excitement of that. No question. Partly it’s also just a function of age because I started getting green envelopes, I don’t know, in 1997? Yeah, after a while, you’re like, “Here’s another green envelope again.”

John: Here’s a proposal. The green envelopes are inefficient because those checks get lost and sometimes, they did get lost. It’s a good reason not to send them to people’s houses. Maybe we still do the green envelopes and inside it says like, “This is how much we just direct deposited for you.” Then you still get the feel, the joy of it, but you don’t have to deal with the check.

Craig: Sure. If they could maybe do that, that’d be great. What if there was an email that said– the subject header was, “Green envelope.”? You’re like, “Okay, when I open this email–“ Then there’s a bunch of texts just in case your email program gives you a little– no, it skips it. Then you open it and you scroll and there’s the number. That would be fine.

John: A little joy.

Craig: Yes. Why not?

John: All right, well, I’m going to propose that to the WGA. More about capitalizing off of a short what we talked about in episode 658.

Drew: Erin writes, I want to build on the excellent advice you gave Michael in episode 658 in which he asked what’s next after a short film he wrote won an Oscar qualifying award. If he wants to capitalize on the success, I would encourage Michael to write a feature version of his short film. Even if his short wasn’t initially meant to be blown out into a feature, there will be something, a theme, a character, what have you, that will make for a compelling feature script and he already has an award-winning short as a proof of concept.

The first question I’m asked when somebody sees and likes my short is, do you have a feature script? My answer is always yes, and because I always have a draft ready before attending any festival, it’s led to my scripts being read by reps and producers. I guarantee the director and/or producers are being asked this question, so he should also reach out to them to let them know he’s getting started on the feature so when they’re inevitably asked, “Is there a feature script?” they can reply, yes, Michael is working on it right now.

Craig: If you can. Not every short is expandable into a feature. I imagine many aren’t.

John: I think it’s good advice in general. Even if you can’t take this exact concept, something that’s in that space feels right because they like the short, they want something that’s like that but is a feature. That all tracks and makes a lot of sense.

Craig: Whiplash.

John: Yes, 100%.

Craig: It’s the theory of Whiplash, worked for Damien Chazelle, could work for you at home. I think that makes sense.

John: Totally makes sense. More on how to be a script coordinator. We’ve talked a lot on the show about the value of script coordinators.

Drew: Joshua Gilbert writes, I’m a long-time listener and a mid-level TV writer. Prior to staffing, I did all the writer’s office assistant jobs, writer’s PA, showrunner’s assistant, writer’s assistant, and script coordinator, the gig I did the most. As such, it occurred to me that if a YouTube video can teach someone to fix their sink, they can learn to script coordinate the same way.

So I created a two and a half hour training video in eight sections that gives step-by-step instructions for taking a script from first draft to shooting draft.

Craig: That’s interesting. Two and a half hours? There’s really two and a half hours of stuff to say?

John: There was two and a half hours of stuff to do to explain about how to do Roll20. You and I put those videos together.

Craig: That was extraordinarily efficient. Roll20, especially the old Roll20, they’ve streamlined it, was so unuser-friendly.

Listen, it may be that he’s just very patient in his explanations. Ally Chang, who’s our script coordinator on Blast Bus, I walked her through it. It was only about 30 minutes.

John: You’re approaching script coordinating from one point of view. You’re also a single showrunner who’s doing stuff and a single writer. People who are on more complicated shows, I think it probably is more complicated stuff. You’re integrating multiple things from different writers.

Craig: Yes. I could see that. There’s a little more traffic.

John: I’ve watched through it, too. He leaves no stone unturned.

Craig: Okay, so it’s an incredibly thorough, too. Thank God. I was just hoping that you weren’t like, “I watch it and–“ No, okay, if it’s super-duper thorough, then great. Look, either way, I just like complaining about things. He put it on there for free. It’s a free class. One more reason to not go to film school.

John: Yeah, film school doesn’t teach you how to be a script writer, though, either. It’s one of those– just someone shows you.

Craig: Yes, but that’s one of the jobs that we have.

John: It’s a job. It’s a job. It’s actually a union cover job.

Craig: Film school just teaches you the job that no one has to give you. Just why? Anyway.

John: All right, last bit of follow-up here is from Lori, and she’s talking about, Craig, you use this word calculating a lot. “You need to stop calculating.” You actually use it in a Scriptnotes book. A little follow-up on this.

Drew: Yes, she says, “What exactly does Craig mean by that? Does he mean that writers shouldn’t have a strategy or pursue a set of goals other than writing good screenplays? If so, how do those good screenplays ever get into the hands of someone who can do something with them?”

Craig: Here’s what I mean. Calculating means figuring out how to game the system. What do people want? What does the market want? If I did this and this and this, then maybe this and this and this. There’s so much effort that you can put into that kind of thinking. “Everybody knows that if you write a such and such story that they want it, they don’t want these unless there’s a this in it. I’m going to do that.” That’s calculating. Not calculating is writing something that you love, that you believe in, that is personal to you, that nobody else could do, or that just expresses your unique creative talent and then putting it out in the world. Then other people work on the calculating part.

In fact, part of our jobs as individual writers in our careers is to resist all of their calculations when their calculations go against what is the beating heart of the work. Otherwise it will turn into crap, which happened to me repeatedly in my career because I didn’t understand that part of my job was to defend against their calculation. I thought in a somewhat humble way, all these calculations must have value. These people are paid for these calculations and the emperor has no clothes.

It’s not about being strategy-less. You write something great, then you’re like, “I wrote this, and I need Renée Zellweger to be in it. It was designed out of my heart for Renée Zellweger. I need to get this to Renée Zellweger somehow.” That’s not calculation. That’s just makes sense. That’s creative desire. Saying, “I wrote this for Renée Zellweger, but what I’m hearing maybe is that Sabrina Carpenter is looking to do something in a movie like this. If I just change the age and change the this and make it more Sabrina Carpenter, then get it to the person that I know who knows her friend, then da-da-da–“ What have you done? No offense to Sabrina Carpenter. If you write something for Sabrina Carpenter, truly–

John: Yes, fantastic, love that. All right–

Craig: I know who Sabrina Carpenter is.

John: I was going to say, nicely done. Weirdly, a Sabrina Carpenter, Renée Zellweger axis, it’s clear. There’s a vector that connects the two.

Craig: I actually am proud of what I just did. I really am. It would have been a very old guy thing to be like, “No, instead I’m going to make it for Reese Witherspoon.” Eh, contemporary, doesn’t work. It wouldn’t have worked. It would not have been as cogent of a point.

John: I like this. This discussion of calculating actually ties in very well to our main topic today, which is about screenwriting being a poorly defined problem. This verbiage I’m taking from this blog post by Adam Mastroianni, which is about why smart people aren’t happier. I think it also really resonates with last week’s episode where we’re talking about how we measure and quantify talent.

In this blog post, he’s talking about how it’s not just physical attributes that we try to measure and quantify. We do it with intelligence too. If you Google the smartest people in the world, you’re going to find physicists, and mathematicians, computer scientists, chess masters.

Craig: Donald Trump by his own admission.

John: 100%. You’re going to do that because if accomplished things that you can point to and say like, oh, it was your intelligence that did that. You can measure that. But a couple of weeks ago, I went to this event with Hillary Clinton who spoke and, Jesus, that is a very smart woman.

Craig: Just a little.

John: Her intelligence is not quantifiable in that way. She didn’t invent a thing. She didn’t solve some mathematical problem. She ran the state department.

Craig: She ran the state department of the United States of America.

John: Not a small thing. The things that I would say, if I could point to her intelligence, she can take a question and then pull it into its parts and come up with, on the fly, this seven-minute answer that goes from the personal to the political to everything. That’s experience. And it’s honestly the difference between what we’d say in D&D terms is intelligence and wisdom. She has the ability to take this whole thing and pull it apart.

Really what it comes down to, and this is from this blog post, is that we tend to value and aim towards these well-defined problems. A well-defined problem– he defines in four things.

That there is a stable relationship between the variables. You can see how everything connects. There’s no disagreement about whether the problems are problems or if they’ve already been solved. There are clear boundaries. There’s a finite amount of relevant information and possible actions. And the problems are repeatable. So the details might change, but the process for solving the problems does not.

Craig: Science.

John: Science is exactly that. It’s the scientific method.

Craig: The results needing to be robust, repeatable. What a joy it would be to work in something where you could actually go, “The answer to this question is yes.” That would be lovely.

John: A lot of us, and I suspect you were as well, Craig, we were good at doing those well-defined problems. All standardized tests, the ACTs, the SATs, they were those things. We were rewarded for that. We’re told we are smart because we’re good at these things. Unfortunately, the career we’ve chosen to go into does not reward that thinking at all.

Craig: It does not.

John: We’re dealing with these really undefinable things. We don’t even know what the edges of this is. What do they really want from here? How am I supposed to do this thing? Am I making the right choice to go, “Should I move to Los Angeles?”? These are not questions with single answers. Many of the questions we get from our listeners are grappling with this. When we say, “Don’t be so calculating,” I feel like so often we see people trying to take these difficult situations and boil them down to well-defined problems.

Craig: Yes, because it’s comforting. You probably remember in math class, there was somebody that was sitting next to you who was struggling with a process. Let’s say quadratic equations.

John: Do you remember the first time your teacher did the quadratic formula or showed how you discover the quadratic formula? There’s no way you end up with such a messy formula. It’s so ugly.

Craig: And so beautiful.

John: Beautiful. It works but it looks so awful.

Craig: We are used to science boiling things down to elegance. E = mc² is so absurdly elegant. It seems like a joke. Most things are not that perfect. The Pythagorean theorem is so gorgeously a² + b² = c². But there was always a kid that didn’t understand the concepts and would turn to you at some point and go, “Just tell me what to do. Okay, so now what do I do? Then what do I do? Then what do I do?”

Meaning, break this down like I’m a computer, code it for me, so that I don’t have to understand what I’m doing. I just follow steps, which are certain. Therefore, I can’t get lost. It’s not actually a bad way to teach certain people certain things that they are struggling to grasp conceptually. However, if they need that, it’s probably not really worth it for them because ultimately, they’re not actually learning anything. They’re merely just obeying steps.

John: Absolutely.

Craig: What we have here in our business is a very– there’s an analytic way of doing things, and then there’s synthesizing things. We have to synthesize stuff. We have to make things out of nothing. It’s art, so it’s all objective, subjective at the same time. There are things that just we all agree on, then there are things that we cannot agree on, and then there are things that we find out most people agree on. There are things that no one agrees on, except 10 years later, they do.

Nobody can really teach this. Yes. What we’re taught is how to analyze, which is fair, and what we can test is analysis and memory. There is this concept, when we were learning about the SAT analogies, we were taught about this thing called the triangular non-relationship, which is that this– and these two things are only related because they both relate to something else, but they don’t directly relate to each other. I think that for people that are good in school and good at SATs, and also are good at screenwriting, those two things are not connected to each other, they’re connected back to one thing, which is a certain mind.

John: Yes, absolutely. Let’s think through some of the stuff that we’re dealing with as screenwriters that are these poorly defined problems and that we’re constantly grappling with.

What is this movie about? This movie I’m writing, what is it about? No, what is it really about? We know it’s not actually about the thing on the surface, it’s actually really about something else.

Who is this character? How do I show that to the audience?

What does this moment look like from the character’s point of view and from all the other characters in that scene’s point of view?

What do they say next and why?

What is the right title for this movie?

Am I using the word “being” too much?

How is this movie I’m writing different from every other movie ever made?

But how is it similar enough to a genre that people can relate to what the hell it actually is?

Then, completely independent of what’s happening on the page, the actual career of being a screenwriter is, how do I describe this thing to an executive? Who should I pitch this to? Should I be focusing on Sabrina Carpenter or Renée Zellweger? When should I send the follow-up email? Should I send the follow-up email?

I see this with my own daughter. She’s a sophomore now, and super smart, so good at so many things. She’s texting me, and it’s not about schoolwork, it’s about, what should I put in this box on this form for this internship I’m applying for? They ask me, “What is your desired hourly salary?” She says, “Should I put 15?” I’m like, “I think 20?” but there’s no answer here. I don’t even know what comes out of this. You’re nodding, because this is exactly what– you do it too.

Craig: We occasionally get these. It’s funny, Jessica is so independent and so much a force of nature. She reminds me so much of me when I was her age. Just all these things that a lot of people consider difficult that she’s just doing. But kinda had a little bit of a meltdown over figuring out how to pay the utility bill for her apartment.

John: We’re on the same page. We got a bill for power, but with some from the previous tenant, and it’s like, “What do you do?”

Craig: Actually, as it turns out, nobody likes doing that stuff. Everybody has to learn. I remember this as great, but it wasn’t great. It was stupid, but I still remember because this is one funny bit where Mike Myers on Saturday Night Live played a character maybe only once called Middle-Aged Man. He’s a superhero. He’s asked, “What are your powers?” He goes, “I can’t fly and I don’t have super strength, but I can explain what escrow is.”

These are the things that you sort of accrue. When you are in your 20s, you’re like, “What do I do with a utility–“ Those are all learnable things. That list of stuff that you put there. The other one that came to mind was, what is the tone of this? Also what is tone? What are we even talking about? These things are only defined by a strange passion and a confidence that comes from feeling good about it. It is all about feeling. When you look at people who are composing, why that note? Why not this note?

Feels wrong, feels right. For us, we have no choice but to actually find some genuine feeling. That feeling then we have to convert into some explanation to either get people to resonate with our same feeling and feel it or get them to hear a rationality that allows them to go along with it.

But for everybody else in our business, that area of what is it and I’m going to feel it and I know what’s wrong and what’s right allows for so much chicanery, charlatanism, fraud, confidence masquerading as knowledge, just bad faith, baloney, gaslighting, because it’s not science. Because I can’t just go, “Stop. Everything you just said is provably wrong and has been proven wrong.” Can’t do it.

John: Of course, we’re talking about this in a context of there’s now more data than ever and more data being used against us about the choices that we’re making. As we’re pitching to Netflix, they will say our metrics show that we need to have– we cannot show a dog in the first three minutes of the show or else, or there’s all this stuff. They have data. They can show that scientifically this is true, but of course, that doesn’t have anything to do with the actual feeling of what it is.

I love to contrast that development process to a film festival where they’re buying a film at a film festival. In that case, they’re emotionally responding to the thing they saw and it’s like, “Oh, this works for these reasons.” We want this movie and we are going to put this on our streamer.

Craig: I think our business has shifted, especially the feature business, very much in favor of that vibe in a way, there is more humility on the side of the buyers because they’ve almost finally admitted they have no idea. Therefore, instead of the old method, which is really– if you want to talk about something that changed our business, the old method of making movies was have a bunch of writers come in, hear pitches, buy scripts, have ten things in development that one of them eventually will be worthy of a green light and be made.

That’s gone away. Now it’s more like, hey, we’ve shown up with a script already, an actor, a director. Everything is here and we also have a budget. All you have to do now is just flip a lever, but all the components are in place. We basically cook the meal for you. It’s a frozen TV dinner. Just put it in the microwave, right? As opposed to, we would like to cook you a meal. We’re going to go gather ingredients. We can discuss if you want chicken or fish, right? And they like that.

John: The episode that Marielle Heller was on that you weren’t able to come for, we were talking–

Craig: Passive aggressive.

John: Sorry. It was a good episode.

Craig: I bet. Jeez.

John: We were talking through this new research study that showed that almost none of the movies that are greenlit came out of studio development.

Craig: Exactly. Which was all you and I knew. All we knew was studio development. In fact, the thing that we would complain about in the ‘90s was studio development and development hell and how we all knew we were going there and getting paid something and then we were just going to be strung out for a while and eventually it probably would just die on the vine like everything else.

John: We were getting paid during that time, which was important.

Craig: Important that we were getting paid. Now what has gone away is all of the money being spread around, but there is a little more certainty. It used to be, if you made a deal, there’s a 5% or 10% chance they would make your movie. Now it’s like we’re making a deal, it’s kind of a green light.

I remember the first time this happened to me, it was at Universal, and I think it was maybe Identity Thief where I came in to pitch the rewrite because it was a page 1 rewrite. There was a pre-existing script. There were two pre-existing scripts, I believe.

I came in with Jason Bateman and Scott Stuber and normally you would go in a pitch meeting, you would pitch to the head of the studio. Everyone was in that room, from Peter Kramer, who’s the president of production, but then Donna Langley also, and then Adam Fogelson?

John: Sure. That feels right.

Craig: Is that right?

John: Yes.

Craig: The guy that was the top of it. I’m like, “What the hell is going on?” When I walked out, I remember I was like, “Why are all these people in a pitch meeting?” He goes, “That was a green light meeting. The deal is if we’re going to pay you to write this, we’re making the movie.” That blew my mind. That was the first time I’d ever experienced that where that’s the deal now. Either no development or make movie. That in a way expresses humility on their end, I think. We don’t know. If you bring us all this stuff, fine.

John: What can we take from this is that, listen, I think there’s going to be moments where you’re going to have this instinct to reduce these difficult problems, these poorly defined problems, and you’re going to try to find edges of things that you can clean up and solve. I see people doing that with the obsession over like, “Oh, I need to get rid of all the widows and orphans in my script.”

Craig: Control.

John: Control. You’re trying to exert control over a thing that fundamentally doesn’t want control. You’re going to submit to a bunch of film festivals and screenwriting competitions so you can get scores and so you can be graded the same way you were graded when you were–

Craig: People love grades.

John: Yes. I miss them. Listen–

Craig: It’s validation.

John: I’m 30 years out of college but I miss that validation.

Craig: Absolutely. It’s validation. When I do see a lot of people on social media saying, “Congratulations to me. I was a semi-finalist,” and blah blah blah, I’m like, “I’m so sorry. It’s actually not relevant at all because there’s somebody who didn’t make it past the first round who has written something much better.” The people who judge these things don’t know either. Nobody in that world knows because the people that are at the highest level of our business also don’t know. They are constantly being surprised. Everybody agrees that this kind of movie doesn’t work until somebody makes one that does. Listen, if there was one genre we knew would not work, it would be to adapt a video game. That was the law. That’s the thing.

John: Two good series.

Craig: There you go. Superhero movies were just dead in the water forever. Musicals keep coming and going. I think Wicked is going to bring them back. Westerns disappear. Probably they’ll come back. That’s the joke. That’s the big joke. So why calculate? Just follow your heart.

John: Absolutely. All right, let’s take a look at some pages from our listeners. For folks who are new here, every once in a while we do a three-page challenge where we invite our listeners to submit three pages from something they’ve written, generally the first three pages. We give our honest feedback.

As a reminder, people want us to be reading this stuff. They’re soliciting this feedback. If we’re mean at any point or harsh, they asked for this.

Craig: That’s a weird phrase. They permitted this.

John: They permitted this. We’ll say that. If you would like to read along on these pages, you can follow the links in the show notes and click through. There’s PDFs for those. You can take a look and maybe stop this podcast, read first, and then listen to what we’re going to say about them. Let us start with Flunge-

Craig: Flunge.

John: -by J Wheeler White.

Craig: I apologize. If you guys hear a page flipping, it’s because I like a physical page.

John: Likes a physical page.

Craig: Forgive me.

John: Drew, for folks who are not able to look at the pages, can you give us a quick summary?

Drew: “In the middle of a fencing match, with seven seconds left on the clock, 17-year-old, Will Stetson, ignores all the onlookers and focuses on his opponent, Alexander. They stare each other down. We then cut to six months earlier where Will is elbowed in his high school wrestling match and starts punching his opponent in the face. Coach Vargas tries to hold him back, but when his opponent calls him a psycho, Will lunges at him and crashes into the scorer’s table. Later, in a school hallway, Coach Vargas kicks Will off the wrestling team. Will punches a locker. Outside the gym, a Mercedes pulls up in front of Will, driven by Alina, another teenager who is currently very angry.”

John: All right. Let’s start with this title page. I love this title page.

Craig: Flunge. Yes. It’s got a nice graphically designed title with negative space fencer in the middle.

John: Absolutely. Craig, do you know what a flunge is?

Craig: I absolutely do not know what a flunge is. A flying lunge?

John: Close to a flying lunge. It’s a combination of a flèche and a lunge. Flèche is where you’re racing up to your opponent, you’re running up to the opponent.

Craig: Oh.

John: The illustration in there is actually what a flunge would be.

Craig: It’s a flunge.

John: It’s a daring stab forward.

Craig: Flunge is going to be changed. That title is not going to last.

John: No.

Craig: Just going to be honest.

John: It looks great.

Craig: It’s fun for now.

John: Fun for now. Page 1 opens with, “Time left on clock, 7 seconds, score 14-14.” I think this is crucial information. I like having it here. I’m wondering how it’s going to be shown on screen. I don’t need it to be shown on screen on the page in a certain way, but I was wondering about that. I like that it’s 14-14. That you know that this match has been going on a while. You know that you’re near the end of this.

This setup reminds me of Challengers, and I don’t know how this is all going to be structured, but I feel like we’re going to be moving back and forth into this this match, which I’m excited to see. It may not be a true Stuart Special where we start at one point and then flashback in time. I think it is a back and forth.

Craig: This does feel like a Stewart Special, though.

John: Well, it’s a Stewart Special in the sense that it started at a time, and we can catch up to this.

Craig: Only because he’s a wrestler and then he becomes a fence– I doubt we’re going to go back and forth. I could be wrong. Also, it’s a television show.

John: Oh, a television show. Pilot, yes.

Craig: It’s possible, but I agree with you, the setup felt really exciting. First of all, I got excited by fencing because– listen, at this point just show me something, and fencing is fun. It’s swordplay and it’s exciting.

John: I had fencing in a movie that didn’t shoot, which I was really sad about.

Craig: Oh, you had a fencing movie?

John: I had a fencing movie.

Craig: Ugh. Do you want to sue this guy? John, that’s what people do.

John: Yes, absolutely. I had fencing in my movie.

Craig: This guy stole your idea.

John: Yes.

Craig: Jesus.

John: I’ll say that if there’s a contract lens that plays an important role in this movie, I’ve won. I’ve won the lawsuit.

Craig: You’ve won the lawsuit. It’s an interesting thing. We have a guy– this is how it opens. “William Stetson, 17, catches his breath. He’s in a full electric saber kit.” I assume that means that-

John: He’s wired up.

Craig: -fencing outfit. “Fencing mask pulled up, a single curl of light hair glued by sweat to his forehead.” Just be aware, that’s the kind of thing that they’re going to have a meeting about, and it’s going to probably look stupid. Maybe just say sweaty.

John: Yes.

Craig: “His eyes, consumed by a deep indecipherable fervor locked with his opponent’s, Alexander Sasha Su, 18.” Now, why do they both have their masks up? Is that a thing that people do?

John: Yes, between parries.

Craig: This is exciting to see on page, but just want to think ahead here. This is J Wheeler White, which is a fantastic comic book name, by the way. J Wheeler White, he owns a newspaper in Gotham, not in New York. They’re just staring at each other. If you’re staring at somebody, and they’re staring at you, the two of you are in a staring contest, that just feels a little weird.

If you’re staring at this guy, and he’s drinking some Gatorade, or doing something, and then he turns and sees you, and expresses something back, whether it’s hatred, jealousy, I’m going to get you, you lost, whatever it is, that creates a moment. I think, here, what’s happened is, they’re just staring at each other, which feels a bit odd.

John: I get that. Again, the reason why I would say Challengers is challenged. Have you seen Challengers?

Craig: I have.

John: Challengers is all stares across on that between people-

Craig: It is.

John: -doing stuff. I love it for that. In this first page, fans, teammates, former opponents, uppercase those. Those are other groups of people that we’re going to see. There’s a thing that J Wheeler White does where it’s a word then a single dash rather than a double dash. It’s consistent. It’s fine. It’s not what I would do.

Craig: I don’t do it either, but it doesn’t matter. I get it.

John: It’s consistent.

Craig: It’s consistent. As long as it’s consistent. It would be nice to know how big. It says hundreds of fans. Hundreds of people– that’s another thing you learn when you’re making stuff is, hundreds of people look like 12 people. Thousands of people look like hundreds of people.

John: I need a sense of– is this State Championships? What is this? That would tell us.

Craig: Olympics. State Championship. Is this a gymnasium? Is this Madison Square Garden? Just give me a general sense of the space. I think it would be helpful. What I really enjoyed was how this just flung us — flunged us — into a different thing, but this is way easier to do on page than it is to do– because the problem is match-cutting from eyes, especially when there’s a mask, even though it’s pulled up, it’s going to be visible. Eyes to eyes of a person that’s in motion, wrestling, it’s just not possible.

John: It’s not possible. There’ll be a sound pre-lap, there’ll be a thing, and then you just have to cut into it.

Craig: Exactly, so probably not– it’s exciting to read, but this is something that I actually think is fine, but later you’re going to have to fix it.

John: Absolutely. It’ll be on a foot and a step will go forward and you’ll realize you’re going to do a different space. There’ll be different ways to get there.

Craig: Exactly.

John: I’m loving everything on page 1 and on page 2. I thought the actual descriptions of what goes wrong in the match, and how it builds, I believed. It felt visceral and it’s funny.

Craig: Yes. I think the only thing that I would suggest here for this, because the point of this wrestling match is Will goes too far, right? He goes too far. He’s wrestling a guy, and he chokes him in a way that’s illegal, and ruins stuff.

John: He chokes him and then he starts beating him.

Craig: Well, because the guy fights back. Then he fights back again. It’s all precipitated by the fact that he’s choking this guy out, which is not legal in high school, or anywhere. That’s fine, but what I needed was something leaning into it. I think part of my issue was it just starts with this guy killing someone. That’s what he’s doing basically. How did we get to that? If you start leaning on someone’s throat– this is just logic stuff, and it’s important for tone. You’re in high school, you start choking this guy out.

Nobody says it– they’ll run in there and pull you off. You can’t kill somebody, and why would you think you could? The problem is this guy goes too far. I need to see him going too far, not already too far. Something leading into it would have been helpful.

John: Yep, agreed. Page 3, the one thing I want to scratch out here is mic drop. Vargas, the coach, says, “You smell like an f-ing litter box.” Mic drop. We don’t need the mic drop, he walks off. And at the bottom of page 3, we’re introduced to Alina Matero, 17, dark hair, clean girl aesthetic, currently very pissed off. That’s all we know about her. I liked that as the next thing we’re seeing.

Craig: I like that she seems rich. I’m guessing that he’s not. I don’t know what their relationship is, but she seems like she’s already heard about the wrestling situation. Again, tone. Page 3, Vargas, his coach says, “We were all watching Stetson,” which I think you need a comma there because it seems like we’re all watching Stetson. “We were all watching, Stetson,” that’s Will, “and good thing too, or that kid would be in an ambulance right now. Incorrect.

They watched him choke that kid out until that kid punched him to get him off of him. They didn’t do anything. And then, good thing you don’t know him.” I don’t know him either, and just because he goes to New Trier, I’m guessing that’s the school for rich kids?

John: Yes.

Craig: It doesn’t justify murder. This is so important. I need to understand why Will was trying to “kill” this kid. Why he was suddenly so vicious and so relentless that he would injure this kid and possibly render him unconscious.

John: Yeah so, thinking about that moment, if you switch it around and Will was the one who felt like he was threatened, or he was getting choked, and that he was the first person who blew up, and it was ambiguous whether the referee should have stepped in, that could have made sense.

Craig: This scene is broad. For me. This is what happens. The coach goes, “You did a dumb thing.” Will says, “No, I didn’t.” He says, “Yes, you did. You’re fired. You’re off the team.” “You can’t do that. Darn it.” Everybody deserves to be a character. Everybody deserves to be interesting. How does this really go down in life? I don’t think it’s like this. I don’t.

I think there is a possibility that as a coach you sit down with this kid– and there’s a scene where he says, “Just walk me through what happened. I want to understand why this happened.” Let Will explain. Just keep asking questions so that we start to understand Will, how his mind works, what the real problem was, and we’ll feel like maybe this coach is sympathetic, understanding, and the coach will listen to him, hear, get to the truth, and then say, “So you’re off the team. Sorry. Based on everything I understand, I appreciate it, I get it. You can’t be on a wrestling team.”

John: I hear you, and that is a version of the scene. I think there’s a way to keep the energy up the way that this scene currently does, but just with a little bit more finesse.

Craig: Actually, that was my problem.

John: That the energy was still too high?

Craig: Yes. We started with this exciting, flunging match, and then we go into an equally exciting and violent wrestling match, both of which it’s feeling like at fever pitch tempo, and then we get into this quick argument. The movie is going so fast, I felt like it’s a television show, it’s a pilot, you can breathe. If you look at Breaking Bad, everybody uses it as a great example because it is a wonderful pilot episode. It starts with, blah! And then it’s like, hmm.

John: It’s quiet. Yes.

Craig: It’s quiet.

John: There’s a description on page 3 that I did like. “Will tries to make himself big, arms out to his side, chest forward, steps to his coach, Vargas sighs.” That does a lot.

Craig: It does. Again, it’s a tone question. Will seems like an idiot here because you can’t big-guy your coach. What are you going to do? Beat him up. The coach isn’t buying it, but then I feel like, why would Will think that the coach would buy it and why is Will do–

John: I believe that’s a dumb high school character move.

Craig: To me, dumb high school characters are different to coaches that control their fate. Those are the people they don’t do this to. Those are the people that they get all solemn with because those are their father figures that they have daddy issues. Again, that’s part of what I’m saying here to J Will writers. The character right now of Will and the character of Vargas is angry coach, angry kid. I think we need to go a bit deeper in that, even in one page.

John: Great. Again, these are not well-defined problems.

Craig: No.

John: They’re all opinions and how it feels.

Craig: That’s right.

John: Before we move on, Drew, can you tell us the logline for what the actual–

Craig: For Flunge.

John: For Flunge.

Drew: “After being kicked off the team for one too many violent outbursts, a high school wrestler reluctantly joins the fencing team to keep his scholarship, unearthing a preternatural talent that may redefine the course of his life. An anime-inspired live-action sports drama series.”

John: Great. I don’t know that it’s a series. I think it’s a movie, but I’m curious–

Craig: It feels like a movie to me.

John: Feels like a movie to me. It feel like there’s a beginning, middle, and end, there’s a victory, there’s a thing.

Craig: It’s a classic. It’s like– What was that movie where Matthew Modine is a hockey player and then he becomes an ice skater? What was that one called? Look it up. It’s such a great idea. He was a hockey player who was like this, undisciplined, got kicked off, whatever personal problems, and gets stuck being paired up with an ice skater for figure skating.

John: It’s not Matthew Modine. It’s somebody who’s like Matthew Modine.

Craig: Oh, it is?

John: Yes.

Craig: It’s not Matthew Modine?

John: Oh, shoot.

Craig: Who was that?

John: He looks like Steve Gutenberg, but it’s not Steve Gutenberg. We’ll find it.

Craig: That’s why we need our search engine optimization person.

John: Hey, can you tell me about a movie where a hockey player then becomes a figure skater? He gets partnered with a woman who’s a figure skater.

AI: The movie is The Cutting Edge. It’s a romantic comedy from 1992 where a former hockey player teams up with a figure skater.

John: Who were the stars of that movie?

AI: The stars of The Cutting Edge are D.B. Sweeney, who plays the former hockey player, and Moira Kelly, who plays the figure skater.

Craig: D.B. Sweeney. D.B. Sweeney and Matthew Modine were odd– My guess is that they bumped into each other at a bunch of auditions back in the day.

John: 100%. Absolutely.

Craig: What a great idea. Anyway, this reminds me in a way of like, okay, an athlete has to transition from one thing to another. It’s actually been quite a few of these. It’s not merely The Cutting Edge. Although what a great title and D.B. Sweeney. Anyway, I agree with the feels feature. What are we doing in Season 3, episode 7 for this? That’s my question, but meh.

John: Let’s move on to our next one. This is Cows by John and Mark DiStefano.

Drew: “In a bar for cows, Callie, a black and white spotted cow, and Wade, a bro-y bull, sit drinking milk. While Wade tells her wild stories about his recent trip to Moodrid, Callie stares at the bartender Jade who is also a cow, they’re all cows. They’re joined by Astrid, a Highland cow who makes fun of Wade from making his trip to Europe with his entire personality. They give Astrid a hard time because her new boyfriend is on a reality dating show, Udderly Single. Astrid wants to throw a watch party for the show, and Wade offers to organize it.”

John: This is an animated, televised, or it’s a pilot for an animated series. Let’s get into it. For what it is, it’s a good version of what it is, but I also think it’s not the pilot episode, or it’s not the first scene of what this should be. This is a Zootopia situation where these are anthropomorphic animals doing a thing. While this conversation tracks, it basically feels like it’s maybe a Friends-like sitcom, but with a lot of cow puns thrown in. It’s probably not the best way to setting up this world for me.

Craig: Yes. What I was struck by primarily was how mundane this conversation is. If you took away the fact that they’re cows, this is a pretty boring scene, unfortunately, because it’s just banter. It’s mild banter, it’s quippy. I don’t believe any of these people. The things that they’re saying to each other feels very canned, Disney television canned conversation. It doesn’t feel real. I have no idea who I’m supposed to be following here.

John: Yes. I don’t know who the central character is. I don’t really understand what the relationship is between the three of them. They’re all there.

Craig: They’re just talking. They’re just talking about something. There’s a lot of page time dedicated to the discussion of where he went to Moodrid and they’re like, “You’ve told us already.” This is not a good use of the first three pages of anything.

John: It’s just one scene also, it’s just like one continuous scene. There’s not a lot of story is happening here.

Craig: It says “Interior bar.” Now these are cows, so we’re in a cow world. “Bulls and cows mingle, dance on two legs”– I don’t know how that works. I’m just thinking about physics. I guess they’re just animated people but they’re cows. It would be nice if they made that clear– “And swill large quantities of milk. Callie sits on a bar stool next to Wade. This bar, where is it?

John: The scale of things also would feel strange.

Craig: What is the scale? What is the decor? What is the music? It says they’re dancing. To what? Can you help me feel like I understand where I am? Because all they’ve done really is, this just feels like a scene from the middle of a middle-grade sitcom where people are talking. Not an introduction to a new world where it’s about cows.

John: Yes, exactly. Here’s where I think writing the scene is useful for you. It’s like this might be a chance to say, “What does it even feel like to have these characters talking to each other? If you just do this as an exercise, it’s like let’s have a conversation where they’re talking. You get some sense of what their voices are. I can’t tell you individually what the three different cows’ voices are. You get a sense of what their banter feels like and what the kinds of cow-related jokes and puns you’re going to be throwing in here a lot would feel like. As an exploratory, let’s crank out some pages. Great, but it’s not the first three pages of this pilot.

Craig: No. If for instance, your hero is a cow named Vanessa and Vanessa works at this bar. Vanessa has to go from the kitchen, around past the bar, past the dance floor, over to cross a few booths, get to somebody, it’s bottle service, or she’s bringing them whatever grass tenders and whatever they eat. As she’s walking by, she’s catching snippets of conversation.

These things are only valuable as background snippets. I don’t buy that we would want to focus our camera and our attention on them because it won’t hold our camera and our attention. What I would understand is, okay, I’m meeting somebody. She’s tired, she’s cranky. Oh, but she has to be nice to these people. Maybe she knows somebody who’s like, “Oh my God, when are you getting off? We have to get out of here and we need to talk about this thing.” She’s like, “Yes, I will. I promise.” Then someone’s like, “Hey, blah, blah, blah, give me a, blah–“ whatever, it didn’t make a scene. This isn’t a scene, this is just people– We’re just like, talking.

John: All that said, there’s nothing objectionable or wrong on these pages. Everything flows right, and it has the jokoid feeling that feels–

Craig: You said jokoid.

John: Jokoid.

Craig: That’s a problem.

John: Yes.

Craig: That is a problem.

John: It’s a problem, but what I’m saying is you don’t look at these pages and they’re like, “Oh, this is incompetent.” It’s not that.

Craig: No.

John: I feel like these brothers– I assume they’re brothers-

Craig: Yes.

John: -they can do this. This just wasn’t a very good example of the top of their craft.

Craig: Yes. I think they need to raise the bar a little bit on themselves because it’s in the form of. By the way, when I started, the very first stuff I wrote was exactly like this. It was exactly like this. It was in the form of, but it wasn’t. That’s part of the normal progress. Somebody needs to go, “Okay, it’s in the form of, so that’s good news.” You actually have internalized rhythm and general– like the idea of how to get information out without reading it off of note cards.

Now we have to think bigger, think better, and be more creative. Just always ask yourself, is the job to do the stuff I’ve seen, or is the job to do something that’s better, or different, or just truer to me that feels like it’s something that came out of me and not an imitation.

John: Drew, what was the logline for this?

Drew: “An ambitious cow and her cattle friends navigate careers and relationships in the cow-centric city of Bovine.”

John: Okay. So it’s either Friends or Sex in the City, and there’s actually a pretty wide range between the two of those.

Craig: Then I would love to– I actually don’t know the answer to this, but what was the first scene of Friends? What happened?

John: The first time in the scene of Friends is at Central Perk and Rachel is fleeing from her marriage. She shows up in a wedding dress.

Craig: Okay. There you go.

John: That’s a scene.

Craig: That’s a scene, there’s a situation, it’s on. That’s not happening here.

John: No, it’s not.

Craig: It’s not enough to say, “And they’re cows.” That’s the other thing. You can’t just say Friends, but they’re cows. What about cows? Look, I’ve written a movie about sheep, right?

John: Yes.

Craig: I’m obsessed with the things that make sheep sheep, but also make the individual sheep different from each other. What can sheep do that we can’t, and what can’t sheep do that we can? Why cows? What is that getting me other than, “Ha, ha, ha, they’re cows?” It’s got to be more.

Actually, that’s almost something that needs to happen in these first three pages, too. That a burden that Friends didn’t have was, why humans?

I need to know why cows.

John: The audience demands a certain amount of world-building and rule-setting in cow Friends that they’re not expecting in a friends-Friends.

Craig: And justification, right?

John: Yes.

Craig: What do we get, because they’re cows?

John: Let’s move on to our final three-page challenge. This is Never Die Alone by Yeong-Jay Lee.

Drew: A storm rolls in over a barge on Lake Superior. On the deck, men dig through their cargo of coal and pull out a gaunt young man with a neck tattoo. They chain him to an iron ball and push him overboard. We follow the body down to the bottom where the iron ball crashes through a sunken colonial boat, releasing a glowing sapphire, The Eye, which begins to float to the surface. Behind it, we see hundreds of bodies on the lake bed.

In the neighboring Sault Ste. Marie, a shabby car pulls up to a trailer home. Inside, Adam Withers, 17, asks his mom, Sarah, 37, if he can go and hang out with the new girl, Jenny. Sarah’s reluctant and sets a curfew for 12:00. Adam admits he’s lost his phone, which upsets Sarah, but she still lets him go. When he’s gone, Sarah returns to her phone call and cigarette.

Craig: You left out the fact that it’s The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

John: What’s this?

Craig: Gordon Lightfoot.

John: Gordon Lightfoot, right.

Craig: One of my favorites of all time. Love Gordon Lightfoot. One of my favorite Canadians. Never met him.

Drew: This is my neck of the woods.

Craig: He’s a genius, though.

John: Let’s start with the title page. I’d love to see contact information and a date. Just useful. People can find you.

Craig: Or at a minimum contact information.

John: I circled a lot of things here, and I want to talk just a little bit about stuff that got me tripped up on this first page. “I barge traversing the Stygian Lake in pouring rain.”

Craig: Stygian.

John: See, I didn’t even know how to pronounce that word. It’s a thing I’ve seen, and never actually pronounced it out loud.

Craig: The Stygian decks.

John: Yes, we’ll need the word Stygian. It’s dark.

Craig: It’s a bit ornate for this.

John: Also, because you’re saying barge, I know it’s the River Styx. Wait, so are we on a barge of the dead? I didn’t know if we were going to shore or away from shore, it’s traversing. I didn’t know where we were at, which becomes important because it’s clear that they’re headed away from shore because they’re going to dump this body.

Next two sentences, “A few men wearing raincoats pace the deck as the barge slows to a stop. Lights from a town dot the horizon. They unfasten a large tarp–“ Wait, they unfasten, the lights unfasten? It’s the men. This is one of those little small things where we’re reaching back, what is this pronoun referring to?

Craig: Yes. In the prior sense, we have a little bit of an issue here, too. Yeong-Jay, I think, you don’t have to use your full vocabulary-

John: No.

Craig: -which is impressive. When you say, “Lights from a town dot the horizon,” the way I just read that makes sense. What we read is, “Lights from a town dot the horizon.” Town dot. It just doesn’t work. You don’t need that so much. Lights dot the horizon or the distant lights of a town are seen on the horizon, if you want. Horizon isn’t a great word for night. We don’t really see the horizon at night. We just see lights in the distance. We don’t know if it’s the horizon.

More importantly, information. “Two dig through the coal.” You just want to say two– Again, what? Two? “Two dig” is not a strange one, T-W-O dig. “Two dig through the coal to reveal a face buried within. They extract a gaunt young man from the pile. He bears a neck tattoo, “Beloved.”

John: Is he already dead or not, important?

Craig: That’s my problem. I couldn’t tell if they were murdering a guy or they were just dumping a corpse. I think it’s a corpse. I hope it’s a corpse.

John: He’s unconscious, he’s not protesting.

Craig: Generally, we don’t describe corpses as gaunt young men. We say-

John: The body of a gaunt young man.

Craig: -they extract the body of a– Exactly. It’s important information because I just presume they were killing him.

John: Now, what happens after this is they are going to attach to the body, this heavyweight, it’s going to sink down, and they were going to follow this down. In an unlikely way, but in a way, that is very elaborate, it’s going to crash through the sunken thing and let loose this stuff. It felt like an opening title sequence. It felt very heightened in a way. It’s like, okay, is this whole thing super heightened? Great. If it is, but then the scene after this is not heightened. This is a very plain scene that made me wonder.

Craig: I’ve seen this transition before where you see something insane happen, and then we cut to many years later, which I assume this is many years later.

John: Oh, no, I thought it was the same time, but we don’t know. It’s end of music cue on page 2, but then we’re in a kitchen, and–

Craig: I don’t know what time. I need to know if this was earlier or later. I don’t know if this was the 1960s or ‘70s. When you play The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, it implies– When was that? The ‘70s? ‘70s. It implies that’s the timeline, even though this body doesn’t crash into the Edmund Fitzgerald, he crashes into an early colonial trading vessel.

Now, I will say that what happens here is awesome. The problem is it’s overwritten. I got lost in all the words. I’m just going to read it. “The iron ball carries him, the corpse, through the sundered wooden hull and into the captain’s quarters festooned with the trappings–” Two things. “Of a wealthy and worldly trader. The ball crashes into an ornate glass cabinet, scattering the antique curiosities within. Among them, a black leather coffer–” a lot of people won’t know what that is, “Imprinted with a cross. As it tumbles through the water, it unlatches–” I’m not sure–

John: What is it? Is it the ball we’ve been following or is it this coffer?

Craig: It’s probably the coffer, but opens, I think, would be fine there. “And The Eye drifts free. It is not an impossible sapphire–“ It is not an impossible sapphire. It is a sapphire “Glowing uncannily in the darkness.” I have a problem. Until that thing comes out, how the hell am I seeing any of the rest of this? I’m in the bottom of a lake at night.

Now, you may think, “Oh, magic light.” If you then do a light trick here, that’s part of the problem. Just like, “How do we actually do this?” Then it says, “It,” meaning the sapphire, “Floats toward the surface. As it rises, pull back to reveal hundreds of bodies scattered across the lake bed.” That’s cool. That’s a cool image to see all those bodies. Do they move?

John: Yes.

Craig: Does one of them twitch? Does something happen to make me go, “This was worth watching all that?” This is actually exciting stuff. It feels very Pirates of the Caribbean or Caribbean if you will. It’s your choice, but it’s overwritten, so actually I got lost.

John: Yes, I got lost, too. Now, I was missing a cut, too, at the end of this thing because we’re about to go to Sault Ste. Marie night, but it wasn’t clear that this was that we were leaving this sequence and going to a new thing. That’s where I thought I needed a transition.

Craig: Looking at it, I think maybe it’s not. That’s why I’m so confused because it says “Exterior Lake Superior – Night,” and then you’re right, it goes “Exterior Sault Ste. Marie – Night.” Maybe it’s at the same time. I generally don’t think that in the early 2000s, guys on boats who find buried bodies in coal, which is a weird thing to have on a boat in the 2000s, would just dump the body. It feels more like something that happens in the 1800s. Something feels– I’m confused.

John: I’m confused about times, too. We have two scene headers back to back that are both exteriors Sault Ste. Marie. Don’t do that. You need to–

Craig: Yes, that’s problematic for everybody.

John: Then we’re ultimately getting into this kitchen of a trailer home. We’re meeting Adam and Sarah, who’s apparently his mother. They’re speaking with a distinctive Yooper accent.

Yooper accent, for our international listeners, is the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and it is a Finnish-Canadian thing. Just imagine it has a Finnish quality to it and the oo’s are different.

Craig: That’s why it’s Sault Ste. Marie?

John: Yes.

Craig: That’s just wrong. You’re just abusing the French language. Sorry, U.P.

John: Adam asks, “Can I go out with Jenny?” He’s 17 and he’s asking a can question, which is, sure possible, but I didn’t understand the relationship based on this can–

Craig: He’s 17 years old.

John: “I’m going out with Jenny.”

Craig: Yes, thank you. You have a driver’s license. Good. What is going on here? Why are you asking your mommy if you can go out?

John: Is she on a sex line? What is she doing? We don’t know. You’re setting up that we should be curious, and I actually need to have a little bit more information because at this point, I don’t know if she’s just customer service.

Craig: I think she’s in a meeting is my guest. I like that you were like, “Is she a sex worker on the phone?”

John: It’s night, though.

Craig: Oh, it’s night. There’s also a fawn drinking from the lake at night.

John: We don’t know if this is the same night where this body was thrown over or if it’s 20 years later.

Craig: We don’t know. Also, how late at night is this?

John: Yes, no idea.

Craig: I don’t–

John: We need this information. We know it’s before midnight because he has to be back by 12:00.

Craig: Right. Oh, yes, also 17, I guess, maybe.

John: He’s lost his phone. I don’t know.

Craig: You’ve lost your phone. What year is it again?

John: We don’t know what year it is. It’s an early 2000s Fleetwood trailer home, but it could be an old– Is it a brand new– 2000?

Craig: That’s right. We don’t know what year it is. If, for instance, it was back in the Nokia days, yes, you’d lose your phone and whatever. It’s fine.

John: It doesn’t matter much.

Craig: It doesn’t matter. I need to know. That said, look, Yeong Jay, this actually feels like there’s something awesome happening here. I love stuff like this. I love the use of the Edmund Fitzgerald. You’ve given us moments that feel like they’re from the 1800s, moments that feel like they’re from the ‘70s, moments that feel like they’re from the 2000s. We don’t know what’s going on. Pull back on the adjectives, there’s just a lot. Maybe if the other things were clearer, they would be more enjoyable, but when you have something awesome happening, let it be awesome. You don’t need to put as much ketchup on it.

John: Agreed. Drew, can you tell us the summary of what happens in this?

Craig: Never Die Alone.

Drew: “A despondent boy seeking a new lease on life discovers an eye of necromancy that grants him dominion over the dead and plunges him into a battle for his soul.”

Craig: A Necromancy of Thay. Obviously, he’s going to become a red wizard. Listen, necromantic magic is very powerful, as we both know. There’s a lot of great spells to use there. A couple of interesting cantrips. Chill Touch.

John: Toll the Dead.

Craig: Toll the Dead. Classics.

John: Classic.

Craig: Nerd.

John: It’s a–

Craig: But I like stuff like this. I see it’s a movie?

Drew: It didn’t say but I’m–

Craig: The idea of a teenager becoming a zombie lord is awesome.

John: Sure.

Craig: That could be awesome but who’s the villain? We need a little bit more of a sense of just read that again. It said what happens to him after–

Drew: “A despondent boy seeking a new lease on life, discovers an eye of necromancy that grants him dominion over the dead and plunges him into a battle for his soul.”

Craig: The last bit is the problem. Plunges him with whom? That’s the most important thing to know from that logline. Plunges him into a battle with a mysterious visitor for his soul, with Satan, with the spirit of his own grandfather, whatever it is. That just sounds existential, which feels boring. I think this could be cool.

John: Yes, it could be cool.

Craig: Yeong-Jay got a good vocabulary, I’ll give you that.

John: All right. I want to thank our three entrants into the three-page challenge this week.

Craig: Brave people.

John: Brave people. Thanks to everyone else who sent in your pages. If you would like to send in your pages, you go to johnaaugust.com/threepage, all typed out. There’s a little form there that you read through and click, and then you attach your PDF to it. If you’re a premium member, we will often send out a little email saying, “Hey, we’re about to do a three-page challenge, and we’re looking for things in a certain space,” and so that’s a benefit if you’re a premium member.

We really want to thank everyone who applied because you guys are heroes and let’s talk about the actual words on the page.

All right, let’s do our One Cool Things. Craig, my one cool thing is a movie I watched over the weekend called Strange Darling, and it is terrific. It is written and directed by JT Mollner. Everyone says– Which is true, that the less you know going into it, the better because it’s full of surprises, which is great.

That said, you need to know that it’s bloody because if you don’t like a bloody movie, you’re not going to want to watch that. Also, you’ll know from the very start that it’s in six chapters, but the chapters are not in order. What I think is so good about watching this as a screenwriter is you recognize, “Oh, that’s right. A story is told by the way the audience receives it and the order the audience receives it, not chronologically.”

The choice to put the chapters in this order is an incredibly important screenwriting decision, and you could not reverse it out of this. The story doesn’t work if it’s told chronologically. It’s such a great example of knowing what your audience is thinking and then being able to subvert those expectations by–

Craig: Putting things–

John: Putting things back.

Craig: Being intentional. That sounds awesome.

John: Intentionality.

Craig: I also have a movie.

John: Please.

Craig: My winkle thing. I think it’s a A24 movie, possibly, called My Old Ass.

John: Oh, yes. I think people love it.

Craig: It’s lovely. It was written and directed by Megan Park, Canadian. In my list of Canadians, it’s going to be hard again, to get past Gordon Lightfoot, but she has moved up the list. What I really like about it, it’s a comedy, but it’s like a weepy comedy. It’s a coming-of-age story. It’s very simple. It is simple, short. It’s a formula without being a formula, which I love. It follows the stuff about the formula that connects to us on a deep level, which is why the formula became the formula, without just feeling like it’s walking along a similar path.

It does its own thing. It felt to me incredibly current. It was easy for us when we watched John Hughes’ movies in the ‘80s to go, “Oh, this older person gets us. He’s generally speaking, in our world.” This felt like that for 20-somethings now. It just felt correct, felt true. It stars Maisy Stella, who was fantastic. She’s opposite two people. One is Aubrey Plaza-

John: Iconic.

Craig: -who was great. One is this guy, Percy Hynes White, who I wasn’t familiar with, but I think he was in Wednesday, and I think he was briefly canceled and then got uncanceled. I thought he was spectacular. The two of them together, I just thought it was just fascinating. It was really, really well done. There’s a high concept at it that they treat as low concept as possible. There’s no spoiler here, it’s in the trailers. I guess she’s 22 or whatever she is in the movie?

Drew: She’s 19.

Craig: 19. It’s all the same to me, I’m 53, it doesn’t matter. 19 years old. She’s about to leave home. She lives in Canada, which took me a while to figure out, but Maisy Stella is from Canada. She takes mushrooms with her friends, has a psychedelic experience, but the psychedelic experience is merely that her 39-year-old self shows up and just has a conversation with her, and starts telling her things. That high concept is played as low concept as possible. It’s almost like they saw a looper and went, “We could be even less invested in the who cares how this worksness of it,” which I thought was really smart. It was just very beautifully done, well written. Really well written.

John: Yes, I love that.

Craig: Also, well directed. I really appreciate directors who don’t make me look at how they’re directing so damn much and just let the story lead us and just get out of the way. It’s like invisible directing, my favorite kind.

John: That’s great. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilleli. Our outro this week is by Nick Moore. If you’re an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions. You can find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for a weekly newsletter called Interesting, which is lots of links to things about writing.

We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re great, you’ll find them at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments. Craig, thanks so much.

Craig: Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

John: All right, so I was just describing this movie that I like so much, Strange Darling, and I didn’t want to spoil anything about it. So I wanted, in our bonus segment here, talk through how we discuss and convince people to see movies or talk about movies without ruining what’s actually in them. For example, I saw the new Joker movie, and there’s things I really liked about it, but things that I think didn’t work about it. It’s tough to discuss those things without revealing big stuff that happens in it.

Craig: For starters, I think, we overestimate our ability to convince people to do anything.

John: True.

Craig: We get excited about, I’m going to convince you to see this because I liked it. I see that you’re not leaning in hard enough. Let me give you another bit, or let me tell you that something happens that completely flips you out. When you get there, you’re going to be so happy. Then maybe you won’t because that’s how that goes. So I think we start to tread towards spoilers when we’re worried the people are going to do what we want them to do.

The easiest version would be to say, you’re describing this movie and you’re like, “You should see it. I think you would love it. If you don’t, I’m sorry. I think you’re going to love it. You just look in them like stuff happens that you will like.”

John: I also feel like anything that shows up in the trailers or shows up in the first three minutes of the movie, that’s–

Craig: Fair game.

John: Yes, it’s completely fair game.

Craig: Like My Old Ass. There’s not this moment– Obviously, in the movie, it’s like, “What? Who? You? What? What do you mean?” The characters can experience that. We all know from the trailers that’s what this thing is about, so that’s fine for us because it’s in the first, 10 minutes of the movie. It’s all the stuff that happens after. Yes, there is something big that happens that if I mentioned it or even refer to it obliquely, would be a massive spoiler. Even saying there’s a massive spoiler in a way is a spoiler.

John: That is one of the challenges, too. That’s what I was running into with Strange Darling, it’s like, if I say things about the performances or the surprising things in the performances, as you start to watch the movie, then you start looking for, “Oh, when is this surprising revelation going to happen?”

Craig: I had this wonderful experience– I think I might’ve mentioned on the show, of showing Bella Ramsey The Matrix. Not only had she not seen it, she knew nothing about it. That was so glorious. I was like, “So you’ve never–“ She’s like, “I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know anything about it.” I’m like, “I’m going to tell you nothing. Let’s just watch.”

And the delight– And it was experiencing it again in the best possible way, as opposed to, ”Oh yes, The Matrix, man, it’s going to blow your mind. It’s got this mind-blowing thing in the middle, it’s going to freak you out.” Then everything’s going to be, “Don’t worry, you won’t know what’s going on, you’ll be confused, but then you won’t be–“ None of that, just go ahead.

John: My experience with this recently was showing my daughter Too Many Cooks. It was fun watching it with her, because it was like, “Oh, okay, I sot of get it.” Then in the end it was like, “I did not like that,” because it goes to this incredibly dark place.

Craig: You shouldn’t like it, you should appreciate it.

John: Yes, absolutely.

Craig: Exactly. Sometimes you just want people to have the same experience you had, but by telling them anything about your experience, you’re ruining their chance of having that experience that you had. It’s hard.

John: There’s a movie that I’m talking about doing a remake of, and so I described it to Drew, but I had Drew watch it. I was talking through, “Oh, these are moments that I think are really good, but there’s something coming out that you haven’t hit yet that’s actually a really good version of this scene and this moment.” It’s that balance between you want to provide a framework for why it is you’re liking this thing, even if the movie is not necessarily great. What the potentials are there, and still not spoil the experience of actually getting there.

Craig: Then burdening the person with pleasing you. I just want them to watch something, I don’t need them to turn to me and go, “Oh, you were right, that is awesome.” I don’t want them thinking about me at all, just watch it. I always say to people, “Listen, I love this, you may not.” I say, “If you feel, as you’re going through, “Okay, I’ve seen enough of this, I get what’s going on.” Just stop. It’s fine, just bail out.

Drew: What do you do if, so I feel like I’m at a lot of parties or get-togethers where maybe one or two people haven’t seen a movie, but then like, you brought up My Old Ass, and there’s a thing I want to talk to you about, but John hasn’t seen it, so I don’t want to– Do you just say like, “Oh my God [beep].”

Craig: No, don’t say that.

Drew: Okay.

Craig: Also, just be patient. You’d be like, “Okay, at some point, when it’s just the two of us here,”–

John: Absolutely, when he goes off to get a beer then we’re going to talk about this.

Craig: Yes, I just want to talk real fast about this. I don’t want to pull you away from them or anything like that, but if you love it and you want to have that moment where you love something with somebody together, just be patient. If you do the thing, what happens is, I think people resent it. They resent it because they feel like, “You know what? Then I’m not going to see it, actually.” Fine, you love it so much that you need to talk about it, I don’t want it.

John: I listen to Slate Culture Gabfest, and on that show, they will often do a segment about a movie, but then if they need to, as their bonus segment, they’ll do like, “This is the spoiler part of this stuff, and then we’re going to talk about all this stuff.” That’s also another good approach. It’s just like, there’s the conversation you have going into it, and then the expectation that behind a paywall or behind a little divider curtain, “Here’s where we’ll talk about the other stuff.”

The same thing could be true for online posting. It’s like you put it in a place that is spoiler forum or you use the spoiler tag on things so that people don’t see the stuff that they don’t want to see.

Craig: So much easier in that format. Spoiler tag is great. Sometimes I’m looking for something about, let’s say, it was Baldur’s Gate 3, and I’m like, “Okay, I know this thing is supposed to be here, I can’t find it. Let me go and see what the answer is.” Then it’ll go on Reddit and someone will be like, “Oh, here it is.”

Then there’s all this other discussion, and people are really actually pretty decent about spoilers. Then you’re like, “I don’t actually want to know that, so I won’t click on that. I won’t click the fog of war there and reveal it.”

John: Yes, which is crucial. And the fog of war is actually the right, I think, metaphor for that. Because in fog of war, in gaming terms, is that as you pass through a space, you expose the stuff around you, and therefore you can start to see those things. Going in, you’re not supposed to know what the geography of a place is.

Craig: Right, sometimes there are movies where I’m like, “Look, I have no interest in seeing that movie. It’s not my genre, it’s not my thing.” People are talking about it, it’s annoying. I’m just going to go see what it is so that I don’t have to be annoyed and walk away from people. As if I’m going to see that movie one day, I know I’m not.

John: Mike’s thing is he’ll just like, “I will look up the Wikipedia article on it and just read it because I know I’m never going to see that movie, but I’ll know what actually happens.”

Craig: At least, I just don’t have to walk away from people. Sometimes people say, “Do you care if I spoil it?” I’m like, “Absolutely not. Just spoil away.” Never going to see it. I think the real problem is when we’re trying to convince people to do something that maybe they don’t want to do. It’s like we make a trailer that gives away too much with our mouths.

John: Yes. And I’m sure you’re constantly grappling with that on your show. It’s like in your ideal world you would love for everyone to come in completely clean and not have a sense of what– I haven’t watched the trailer for your show because I don’t want to know anything about how it’s going to be this season.

Craig: You don’t get hard information but you definitely learn things. It’s an interesting thing, adapting something that exists.

John: Yes, that’s true.

Craig: I don’t worry so much about the spoiler stuff because, to me, if you’re not in for the journey and the interesting things we do in a different format, then if you’re just watching it to find out the– It’s not Lost, right?

John: Yes.

Craig: I don’t need to know what happens. What is the island? There is none of that for us really. It’s not about that. It is why I had the nuclear reactor blow up instantly in Chernobyl because I’m like, spoiler, it blows up. Let’s just get that out of the way. It blowed up.

John: Yes, absolutely. Cool, thanks.

Craig: Thanks.

Links:

  • Quote-Unquote Marketing Director – Apply Here!
  • Veteran Script Coordinator on YouTube
  • Why aren’t smart people happier? by Adam Mastroianni
  • Middle Aged Man – SNL
  • FLUNGE by J Wheeler White, COWS by John and Mark DiStefano, and NEVER DIE ALONE by Yeong-Jay Lee
  • The Cutting Edge
  • Strange Darling
  • My Old Ass
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram, Twitter and Mastodon
  • Outro by Nick Moore (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 658: Advice Show, Transcript

November 15, 2024 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

Craig Mazin: Hi. Today’s episode features an enormous amount of profane language, and not for any reason. I just felt like cursing. If you have kids in the car or anybody that doesn’t enjoy that sort of thing, earmuffs on.

John August: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig: [Underwater voice] Hello, and this is Craig Mazin.

John: This is Episode 658 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, we open our overflowing mailbag to tackle listener questions on collaboration, non-disclosure agreements, self-delusion, and when to switch jobs.

Craig: I like self-delusion.

John: Are you going to switch your job?

Craig: If I said yes, I would be engaging in some serious self-delusion.

John: Yes. Our bonus segment for premium members, which English words do we recognize but never actually use? We’ll discuss those words. We’re too chicken to try. I have a list of those.

Craig: Okay. That’s fun.

John: First, Craig, we have some actual news, a thing that has changed in the world. For as long as you have been a member of the WGA, you’ve been looking for your big green envelopes.

Craig: Oh my God. The WGA sent an update to us all. It was almost like, “Hey, we are now accepting your mobile phone number instead of your landline.” It was that overdue and out of date, but they are finally doing direct deposit of residuals into your bank account. Why it took them this long, I’m sure there’s a reason.

John: Yes. I can tell you some of the reasons why.

Craig: Yes. I’d love to know.

John: It was a subject of negotiation every time we went in with the studios.

Craig: Really?

John: Yeah. Because if you think about it, residual checks, they’re coming from the WGA, but they’re actually really coming from the individual studios. That relationship between the studios and the person being paid is complicated. Usually direct deposit is simple because you have direct deposit from just your one employer. Because they’re coming from all these different accounts, getting it all together to happen was an issue.

Craig: Just out of curiosity, because I don’t understand banking. I think everybody knows that about me. The WGA would collect the money and then it would conglomerate it into a paper check that came from the WGA to me. The companies weren’t paying me, right? The WGA was paying me.

John: The companies are ultimately paying you. There’s accounting that goes behind it too. It was more complicated than you would think.

Craig: It must have been.

John: Because obviously for 20 years we’ve been talking about this.

Craig: Right. It was crazy. The idea that paper checks were still– the cost of it all.

John: The cost of it all, yes.

Craig: Especially when you would get–

John: The checks would get lost.

Craig: Sometimes you get those weird residuals that are valued at less than the cost of the stamp.

John: It’s a good change. It just took a long time for it to happen. They’re rolling it out in phases, which makes sense.

Craig: Oh, you mean I’m one of the lucky ones that got it early?

John: Yes. Maybe I got it now, but my checks have been going to my business manager, so I’ve not actually seen the big green envelopes coming in.

Craig: Well, same. Nonetheless, I was happy for them. Business managers, particularly the large companies, the amount of those envelopes they have to process every week from writers and directors and actors, the opening of the things and the pens and the check and blah, blah, blah, so annoying. So, hooray. I’d love to really know–

John: What were the real obstacles, yes.

Craig: So strange, but thank God.

John: Thank God. We are a business that is being employed gig to gig, so all of our paychecks are coming through different services, but the same kind of payroll services that do things a lot. It makes sense that there should be some relationship electronically that they could figure out. So I’m not–

Craig: No, there is, obviously, because they did.

John: Yes. Making them partners.

Craig: It’s just whoever was responsible for this logjam, it is an interesting thing. Bureaucracies can harden themselves to things. When I was involved in the public schools in La Cuñada, here in California, which is a small school district, one of the first things that I encountered was that technologically, they weren’t just behind. They were so far behind, they were using software and a server that no one had really heard of or seen since the mid-‘90s. Basically, the guy who ran it was like– it was like when you’re trying to take your dog somewhere and they don’t want to go and they just plant their legs and you have to drag them. Eventually, he just got reassigned.

Somebody else came in and was like, “Oh my God. What?” But that was what they knew. The thought of a new system terrified everybody. They worried that the system will make them redundant. Sometimes there’s just this weird bureaucratic, what do you call it, cruft?

John: Cruft, yes.

Craig: Cruft.

John: That’s absolutely true. Sometimes it’s the gatekeeper, decision-makers, the doctors. Sometimes it’s the individual teachers who are so used to their one way of doing things, they don’t have the bandwidth to learn a new thing. Then other times, it’s just this acknowledgement that trying to change the system is going to be really difficult. My daughter’s at BU, and they changed the way this one financial thing works there. It’s just been absolute chaos to get bills paid.

Craig: That’s the thing that they all worry about. On the other hand, there are ways to transition to new technologies that are smooth, if they’re well thought through, well-planned. My goodness, the amount of meetings that must have occurred.

John: Oh, yeah.

Craig: It makes me shudder to think of having to sit through the quantity of meetings at the Writer’s Guild to transition to direct deposit. I don’t even want to think about it.

John: It’s going to be a lot. Well, as we talk about trying to transition people off of using Final Draft for everything, or the sense of colored pages, or the sense of locked pages, it’s tough because people are used to a thing.

Craig: Yes. And they’re afraid.

John: They’re afraid.

Craig: Oh, by the way, a little tip of the hat to our friends at Scriptation, because they sent me a free copy. Because I guess I mentioned on the show today, I was like, “I don’t have it.” Then they didn’t think like, “Oh, he can afford it.” They just sent me a free one. I would have also gone with if they had just been like, “Dude, buy a copy. Stupid.” They were very nice and they gave me one.

John: They gave me one too.

Craig: I downloaded it.

John: Nice. That’s the first step.

Craig: That’s the first step.

John: I agree, bit by bit. Back at Episode 654, we were talking about AI training. There was basically this service that was trying to hire WGA members to train on scripts.

Craig: Oh my God. Yes.

John: Peter wrote in and actually had his experience as a person who does this. Drew.

Drew Marquardt: Peter says, “I make between $20 and $30 an hour having conversations, editing text, and reviewing other workers’ conversations with AI chatbots. I work with General Models, LLMs designed to be personal assistants. I’m a 30-year-old actor, writer, and producer. To be clear, I’m not making it yet in the industry. I’m not yet in the Writer’s Guild. I audition for all kinds of projects and write all the time. I show up on my friends and colleagues’ sets to lend a hand when I can and will do whatever work I’m capable of.

There’s not as much of this happening right now and much less of it tied to a paycheck. I’d love to avoid this, but it pays my bills while I struggle to break into entertainment in a financially meaningful way. I set my own hours and my coworkers who are AI models are non-toxic, two things I highly value after working for years in the corporate service industry.

If I were a WGA writer, I would likely not volunteer to train a model specified to write, engineer, or filter scripts, even at $100 an hour. That said, as someone who’s been waiting for the chance to write and look at words all day and simultaneously make money, I’m extremely happy with this new position. I worry that I’m stealing from myself and my peers in the future, but the groceries I need to buy exist in the present.”

Craig: Well, that’s how they get you. Yes, you should be worried that you are stealing from yourself and everybody else in the future. Also, you should be worried about buying groceries, and this is how they get you. I think we were pretty clear when we discussed this last time that we certainly did not sit in moral judgment of somebody that needed to pay bills.

You need to pay bills. You need to pay bills. There are obviously other ways to pay bills. Everybody does have a choice. Peter has certain values. He doesn’t want to work in the corporate service industry. Do not blame him. He doesn’t want to deal with toxic coworkers. Don’t blame him. He’s training assistants, not AI writing.

From our point of view, okay. If I were an assistant out there, I would not like this at all.

John: Assistant is a pretty broad category. What Peter is doing is sort of making Siri better, like making those kinds of things. That’s also an assistant.

Craig: Yes, and hopefully that’s what it is. Then, okay, because I’m also a realist and I understand if Peter doesn’t do it, then Michelle will. Somebody’s going to do it. I understand this completely. I do think that we just have to be mindful that it’s not Peter’s fault. It’s the system and our business’s fault that it is driving people like Peter into the arms of the AI fuck masters.

John: I guess the language warning has to go on this.

Craig: Yes, I thought about it for a second. I was like, “It’s worth it.”

John: We had more follow-up from Kevin in San Francisco.

Drew: Kevin says, “Have you ever considered training an AI on the Scriptnotes transcripts? You could train an AI to create co-hosts that could fill in when one or both of you are too busy to record.”

John: Which one of us is going to be too busy to record, Craig? I wonder who would get filled in more often.

Craig: “It’s not my fault. I’m just trying to do my job.” Yes, we should totally do our job.

John: We totally have done that. You’ll remember this. Back in Episode 405, that was the one with Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone at the Ace Hotel, I had used a Markov chain generator, which is a very early rudimentary version of this thing, to create these synthetic statements of quotes from me and Craig, and we played a game called Bot or Not. We had to figure out, was that a real thing that we said or a robot?
Then in prepping for the script notes book, I had a resident genius named Yusefi train a version of ChatGPT-3, the older one, on the whole corpus of Scriptnotes to see if we could ask questions like, “Give me quotes from John and Craig talking about stakes.” We could search through the whole thing and then pull up the stuff because that’s useful. It’s not writing the stuff, but basically, can you gather up all the stuff–

Craig: Gather the things we’ve said.

John: We’ve said. It worked, but it was really kludgy, it was Python, it was really a brutal process. That was April 2023, and so just yesterday, I should say that nothing in the book is AI-generated at all, it’s 100%–

Craig: You’re goddamn right.

John: You’re goddamn right. It’s the stuff we said, edited by Drew and Chris and other folks who’ve just worked their asses off to do this, but yesterday, I went on perplexity.ai, which is one of the other big sort of LLM services, and I asked it to give me quotes from script notes in which John and Craig talk about stakes. That’s the only prompt I gave it, and holy shit, did it really come back with a lot. Craig, I’m going to show you the resulting page here.

Craig: I can get my glasses on for this.

John: All right.

Craig: It says, “In Episode 402 Scriptnotes titled How Do You Like Your stakes, John August and Craig Mazin delve into the concept of stakes in storytelling.” I have a problem with that first sentence, but that’s fine. “Here are some notable quotes from their discussion. John emphasizes the importance of understanding the stakes for each character. ‘When we talk about stakes, our key focus has to be our hero, our protagonist, and what are the stakes for that character?’” Okay, so it’s just– “But it’s important to remember that there should be stakes for most of these characters and they don’t have to be the same stakes.

Craig adds that different characters may have competing stakes. ‘For some characters in the show, the stakes are love. For other people, the stakes are I have to keep this government together, and If I fail, then there’s going to be chaos.’” Well, that one actually was sort of interesting because it introduced the idea of competing stakes based on what I said. That’s fairly impressive. Certainly, this looks like a book report from a very bland person.

John: I think what is remarkable, which is what we were trying to do when I had Nima train this himself, was it’s not hallucinating a bunch of stuff. It’s pulling quotes and you can actually click and see like, “Oh, that is where that this is from.” That is useful as a research tool, which I think is the kind of thing that I’m actually okay with. If it’s doing the job that a Google search would do, I’m much better with that than if it’s generating stuff.

Craig: I agree with you. Part of this is to not fall into the trap that a million math teachers fell into when we were growing up, which is to say calculators are cheating. No, they’re not. There’s really no benefit in knowing how to add three numbers together. There actually isn’t. If a calculator can do it, what’s the difference? If you want to be a mathematician, you have to understand the fundamentals behind that. I understand. Once you understand the fundamentals, what’s the point of requiring you to do it by hand? It’s stupid. It just comes down to [makes crazy sounds] I don’t think we should be that way with stuff like this.

If you say, “Listen, you have to go through by hand and pull all the things,” and it’s just drudge work, then yes, I’m fine with something that makes drudge work faster, sure. I would not be fine with saying, “Hey, ChatGPT-4…” is that what you use here?

John: This is actually perplexity.

Craig: Perplexity. “Hey Perplexity, go through all 600 and whatever episodes and write a book.” Nor, as the Australians say. Nor.

John: I agree. To your point about adding three numbers, there was a recent study, and I’ll try to find a link to it, that was talking about, I think it was college students who were encouraged to use AI to learn how to do certain things and basically studying how much did it help them when they were doing the thing right then, but how much did they actually retain in terms of their skills to actually do the thing? It helped them in the short term and it hurt them in the long term because they didn’t fundamentally learn how a thing worked. That’s the subtlety that I think we need to get past is that sometimes these AI systems are so good at doing certain tasks that we forget how to do them and we don’t understand the fundamental things behind this.

Drew, you have an example of this for Weekend Read, right? You were trying to– these duplicated lines that were showing up in a script that you were trying to clean up.

Drew: Yes, the OCR for a script had doubled every sentence, but it wasn’t perfect sentences. I tried to go to ChatGPT to have it make a Python code to just, or even a regular expressions thing to just take away that second sentence and it was nearly impossible.

John: The challenge is, Drew has the expertise to know how to ask ChatGPT to do a thing, but not really to understand how it’s doing the thing. It’s not a generalizable skill.

Craig: Yes, it seems to me that if you use these tools to take something you know how to do, but do it much, much faster, sure. That’s what– I can multiply any two numbers together. Doesn’t matter how big they are. Might take me a week if they’re really, really big. Calculator can do that instantly. So fine, do it instantly. I know how to do it.

John: Example of trying to use an LLM for a good purpose. This is when I tried this last week was, the prompt was, have a conversation with me in Spanish, correct me in English if I say anything wrong, and you can start your questioning with something about what I did today. It just becomes a back-and-forth conversation in Spanish. When I will freely make mistakes in front of this thing and will correct the mistakes, but then the conversation will continue. That was genuinely useful for me.

Craig: That’s actually a brilliant idea. That’s a really interesting way to learn a language. People generally say the best way to learn a language is just immerse yourself somewhere where you don’t know the language and you’re going to have to figure it out. If you talk to ChatGPT all day long and it’s speaking another language and it’s correcting you in that language, slowing down and repeating it, now that seems like a really good way of learning something. Did it insult you when you got things wrong?

John: I didn’t ask it to be snotty and insulting.

Craig: I would.

John: They’re very good at those tonal shifts, so I’m sure they could do that for you.

Craig: Did it ever sigh in exasperation? Like, “How many fucking times–“ there goes a language warning. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you? That’s a masculine word, not a feminine word. You goddamn moron.”

John: Yes. There’s a little of that.

Craig: That’s what I would set it to.

John: A little shame.

Craig: Because that’s how I learn best.

John: Absolutely. It’s well established that shame and abuse are really–

Craig: My love language.

John: We have more feedback on GitHub for screenplays. This is, again, I think that same episode we talked about how ideas of merging changes and like a bunch of whole established ways in coding, which you can– most people have been working on a code base and you can merge those changes. Someone with firsthand experience wrote in with their expertise.

Drew: “Tried and Failed writes, John and Craig are absolutely correct about Git being ineffective for script collaboration. I’m a software developer for a major innovative service vendor in the film industry. I was on a highly-skilled team that was instructed to build an internal screenplay-related tool with a Git backend and like a nice UI. We reluctantly built it and got it to production and the experience was awful for us and our poor users. The Git approach quickly descended into corner case hell.

Git works for code because the what and the why are explicitly expressed in code and comments with tightly bound atomic change sets. Screenplays are so different. They’re an incomplete product of sprawling intentions. A lot of what makes a screenplay effective happens off the page and the bones supporting that are rarely expressed atomically in text. I’ve used revision control for three decades and I assure you merging complex script changes was way more difficult than complex code changes.

As programmers, we dread huge unfocused pull requests, but with screenplay change sets, that’s the norm, not the exception. Revision control was the wrong approach.”

Craig: Yeah, seemed pretty clear to us. John, do you know what GitHub is called in the astral plane?

John: It’s something Githyanki?

Craig: It’s GithHub.

John: It’s GithHub, very nice, yes. Just for the D&D players out there.

Craig: Yes, GitHub is the wrong tool. Nothing wrong with that. It’s a great tool for collaborating on code, clearly. It’s very popular, but no. Screenwriting is not a matter of revision tracking. Revision tracking is secondary. Most of the revision tracking we do, we do even individually, just for ourselves. Then we show other people so that they can see what changed, not to make different changes. But when people are writing together, the changes should be happening together. When I was writing with Todd Phillips, we would sit side by side, computer in front of me. I would type because I type faster.

We would just talk through everything and just do it. That, to me, seems like still the best way, but there are solutions that aren’t so obsessed with revision tracking, but rather just we’re writing together. More like a shared Google Doc. Writer Duet sort of functions like this.

John: One of the points that he brings up here, which I think is really interesting, is that in code, you’re supposed to put in comments to sort of say like, “What’s actually happening here?” That would be a really great practice for writing in terms of like what is this scene? What has changed?

Craig: It’s so exhausting.

John: It’d be exhausting. One of the things we do in Highland is we have this thing called synopsis. Basically, we start a line with an equal sign. It doesn’t show up in the script, but it shows up in the actual editor. That is actually really useful for mapping out stuff. I wonder if it’d be a good practice to start just saying like, “This is what’s actually happening here. This is the intention, or this is why I changed this thing.” Because there’s an episode of a different podcast that’s coming out down the road, and a script that I’d written 20 years ago, they called to ask me about like, “Well, why is this thing this way?” I’m looking at the script, I have no idea.

I have no idea when this idea was introduced, but if it had some commenting in there, I could maybe figure it out.

Craig: I know that Final Draft and Fade In have a notes feature, which essentially, is the same thing. I never use it because, again, I just write for myself. Sometimes what I’ll do when I’m talking with people about– so I’ll sit with a director and we’ll go through the script, and we’ll have a discussion, and they may bring up a great point like, “Oh, you said this, but actually they don’t have the walkie-talkie right now.” I’ll just, I’ve set up a new revision level. I’ll just type my notes in bold, all caps. Then I go back, erase, and do the things that I want to change. That’s just for me.

John: I use synopses for the same thing, basically. I’m basically like bullet-pointing, like, “This is what’s going to happen here.”

Craig: Yeah, it’s a nice idea to think that we could go back and actually have a library of intentions, but writing’s hard enough. It’s just not– Also, I’m not sure to whom it would be super useful.

John: A thing we can already do is track changes, and so basically I’ll say compare this script to this script and see what changed, and with that sort of showing what changed, you can generally understand why, if you’re doing that close enough to the time that you actually did it. It’s like, “These are the reasons why I did that.” It would be a good practice to go in and, as you’re delivering a new script, just to spend the 10 minutes of like, “This is what actually happened in this draft.” Sometimes I can check the email that I sent with the draft and say like, “Here’s what’s new, here’s what’s different, and that’s a way to–” It doesn’t stick with the script.

Craig: It doesn’t. Season one, our script coordinator was very thorough about this. I think she would send a change log with every draft. Nobody read it. Nobody cared about it. They just looked for the asterisks, and then were like, “Okay, that’s the new stuff.” This season, I don’t think we did a change log. It just seems like nobody pays any attention to it.

John: In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, because there was no script coordinator. I was essentially the script coordinator. When I would send it through a color revisions, I would bullet point like, “These are the things that have changed.”

Craig: Oh, definitely. If it’s that kind of thing where I need people to know, but by the time we get into production, it’s all the product of meetings and things anyway, and generally no one cares. They are just, “Where’s my instruction set?” “Oh, I no longer have to do this with five people. I only have to do it with three people. Okay.” “We’re not shooting over there. We don’t have to build that anymore. Okay.” In development, it’s an easy thing to sort of say, “Hey, here’s what we’re doing. Here’s how it changed.”

John: Classically in TV, which is probably not your experience doing the show for HBO, but you would deliver an outline to the studio and then to the network, and they would give you notes back on this thing. In the follow-up phone calls and in the follow-up documents you’re sending through, you would make it clear like, “These are how we are addressing the notes that you sent through.” And that gives you some history on what’s actually happened here, but it’s not the same as what I think we’re asking for.

Craig: We do that with cuts. We’ll send a cut to the network and then HBO will have thoughts and then what I’ll do is I make what I call the little Christmas tree document. After absorbing them and looking through the material we have and also considering, do I agree? I will send back a response that’s basically, I just highlight their notes and I paint them either red or green. If I paint them red, I explain why I can’t or don’t want to do them. If I paint them green, I tell them how I either will be doing them or here’s the way we’re going to address this or we’re going to try at the very least. That stuff is all worth changelogging.

John: Well, we have a bunch of listener questions. It’s been a while since you and I’ve done this. Drew, help us out.

Drew: Yes, we’ll start with two questions on being torn between two jobs. SoVeryTired writes, “I’m a writer/director and VFX artist in LA. The lead actress from my last short has asked if I can help out with visual effects for a proof-of-concept pilot she wants to make. She’s made it clear this project already has a writer and director. She’s asked me to come on in a VFX artist capacity, which is my day job. My aspiration is to be a writer/director. My question is, how do you choose which projects to say yes to when you’re early in your career? I wouldn’t get paid much, if anything, for this. It’s definitely not about the money. I’ve asked to see an outline or script to see if it’s something I’m interested in.

Should I choose based on whether or not I’m interested in it or whether I think it has legs and might get picked up? I’m sure you’re going to say not to get involved if I don’t believe in the project, but nothing else I’ve made thus far has gotten me work. What if this project could be the one to get me noticed?”

Craig: What was the name of this person?

Drew: SoVeryTired.

John: SoVeryTired.

Craig: SoVeryTired, what you were sure of is incorrect. This sounds like you’re early in your career. Generally speaking, when it’s early in your career, I think the notion of opportunity cost is overemphasized. Your day is more elastic than you think. You have more time than you think. You have more energy than you think. Say yes, if you can. As long as it’s not clearly taking you away from something else.

It doesn’t sound like the conundrum is, “I am supposed to do this, which could help my career in terms of my creative output, but it’s not a lot of money. This over here is offering me a bunch of money for something that isn’t necessarily going to advance my career. What do I do? I’m torn between money or aspiration.” That’s not what’s happening here.

Nobody was healthy in the ‘90s, emotionally, and no one had any pride, because I did–

John: Or boundaries.

Craig: Or boundaries or anything. No one talked this way. No one. No one was like, “Oh, don’t do anything that your heart…” No, I did it. Nothing I did for 10 years had anything to do with what I wanted to do. I was just like, “Get me working. Get me knowing people. Get me experience. Have me prove to the people that do these things that I am reliable and talented.” Everyone’s path to that is different.

Your path to it was way different than mine. Your path was shorter. It was more efficient. I doubt there was much of a time where you were like, “Oh yes, I’m not going to do–“ you were 24 and you’re like, “I’m not doing that rewrite for this amount of money because it’s just not where my heart is, even though I have nothing else going on at the moment.” No, you just say yes.

John: I think saying yes is the right approach to most of these situations. I would say, you’re publicly saying yes, but internally, you should also be thinking about what is it I hope to get out of this experience? Do I want to meet some new people? Do I want to try this new visual effects tool that I’ve not gotten a chance to use? Do I want to get more stuff from my reel? SoVeryTired, you say that you are a writer/director, and VFX artist. If your goal is really to be a writer/director, do be mindful that you’re not only taking VFX jobs and never actually getting around to the thing that you actually want to do, which is writer/director.

There is a reality of people sometimes will distract themselves by taking a bunch of not-so-meaningful stuff because they know their main goal is hard. You’re young, you’re early in your career, do the things. If people are asking you to do a thing, say yes.

Craig: First of all, you’re not very tired. I’m sorry. You can’t be that tired yet. I’m very tired. I’m very tired. I just shot 12 hours a day for 7 months. I’m 53 years old. I’m very tired. You can’t be very– if you’re this tired already, bad news for you. Now, I’m making presumptions. Because even though it’s early in his career, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s early in his life. He could be 70 for all I know. Doesn’t matter. When you start, the one thing you really can’t afford to be is tired. This is when you’re supposed to have boundless energy. This is actually a pep talk.

I agree with John. If you go into this VFX thing, if it’s for a little bit of money or whatever, you’re hoping to get something out of it. Sometimes, you know what, you don’t know who you’re going to meet. That’s the crazy part. You don’t know who you’re going to meet on this gig. That person– how many stories are there of like two PAs meet, love each other creatively, write a script, become a thing? That happens.

John: Here’s what we’re not saying. We’re not saying you should do a thing that your spider sense says, “Don’t do.”

Craig: Of course.

John: If there’s people involved, you’re like, “I don’t think these are good people,” then that’s not worth your time.

Craig: Correct.

John: Don’t say yes to bad situations.

Craig: You want to basically say yes to things that you are actively interested in or things that don’t seem offensive and may therefore get you some additional experience. You want to be a writer/director? Well, bad news, hardest thing to be, rarest thing to be. We’ve talked a lot about shorts, which everyone seems to have and no one seems to watch, and the questionable value of those.

John: We have a question about that today.

Craig: Oh, well, you know what, maybe we’ll get to that question if I shut the fuck up. Once we do it, right?

John: Yes.

Craig: Once we do it, we do it. It’s been a long time. It’s been a long time since I cursed on this show.

John: On this show?

Craig: Yes. It’s pointless.

Drew: A second question here from Ben. Ben writes, “I’m an office coordinator in the facilities and real estate department for a major film studio. I took this job to make connections and hopefully get a job as a screenwriter. However, I find myself at an impasse today because of a few different factors. First, a lot of the connections and development that I’ve made were just laid off. Second, I just received an offer doing the same facilities job, but at a video game studio for double the pay. Finally, I recently got a publishing agent who also handles film and TV rights for my books, and I really enjoy writing novels now, not just screenplays.

If you were in my shoes, would you take the video game job and know that you’ll still be writing novels that have a slim chance of getting turned into movies anyway, or would you stay at the film studio and try to make more connections?

John: This one is so easy to me.

Craig: We’ve never had more of a slam dunk in our lives.

John: Take the video game job.

Craig: Oh my God.

John: You’re working in the facilities and real estate department for a major film studio. That’s nothing.

Craig: That’s like working in the facilities and office coordination area at Ralph’s or anywhere. It doesn’t matter. The fact that it’s at a studio is completely irrelevant.

John: If you worked at Universal Studios in the theme park side, you’re not any closer to the film and television business.

Craig: Correct. You’re just geographically close to the film business. Look, you made a mistake of perception. You thought, “Okay, if I work in the office and real estate section of a movie studio, I will be able to make connections to sell screenplays.” Never in a million years is that going to happen. You don’t come into contact with those people that’s not part of your job. However, it sounds like you’re very good at your job because this other company is offering you all this money to do it. Of course, also, you seem to like writing novels. Where are all your screenplays?

Your novels are doing well. They’re getting published. Maybe people are going to talk about adapting them. Great. Maybe you’ll be the person to try and adapt. Who knows? You are not at all in the right place to make “Connections.” Someone’s offering you double the money to do the same gig and you can still write novels on the side? This is like walking up to a 1 foot-high basketball hoop and dunking. John, dunking is the act of taking a basketball…

John: I know what dunking is.

Craig: Okay, just checking.

John: It sounds like this is your day job. Basically, they’re offering you a day job that pays twice as much because it seems like you really perceive yourself as a writer and possibly a novelist rather than a screenwriter. These are wonderful things. Many great novelists have come out of working day jobs their whole lives. It also sounds like this job is not taxing you mentally. It sounds like– I was an intern at Universal. There were three assistants above me and I was the intern below them. I had no responsibilities. I came home from work and I had not used my brain at all. I wrote my first screenplay those evenings.

Craig: Yes. When I was an intern at Fox Network, I was 20. My responsibility was to work for the assistant to the assistant to a guy. That meant xeroxing and covering phones for about 30 minutes where everyone was panicked I would screw it up. You’re absolutely right. When I got in my car, my brain emptied completely. I haven’t had that feeling since 1991.

John: It’s so nice.

Craig: It’s so nice to just know job ended. Go home. Think about not job at all because job done. Sounds like you got that nailed and you have time to write novels.

John: I bet because you’d be working at Starbucks and you’d have the same situation, you’d be exhausted because you would have been on your feet all day.

Craig: Exactly. Here you’re sitting in an office. You’re good at it. You answer some– you set up some people with some office space for– This one. Oh, one of the easiest ones we’ve ever had.

John: Love it. All right. Two questions here about career momentum.

Drew: Stu writes, “I was hired to write the pilot and Bible for two major sci-fi television franchises, each of which for various reasons never made it to production. I recently saw that the producers have now teamed up with a very well-known late-night talk show host to produce the series and they’re looking for a writer. Apparently I got fired without ever being informed I was fired, which sounds like Hollywood.”

John: I’ve been there.

Drew: “My frustration beyond the obvious is that I put a good four years of work into this project and I’m quite proud of it. Yet outside of a few offhand mentions buried deep in the internet, my contribution to the franchise seems to have been erased from our timeline. It seems childish to update my own IMDb page with the project in question. My question is less about what to do about this particular project and more what I should be doing to ensure that I can maintain industry visibility when I’m hired to write something that 9 times out of 10 will never make it out of development.”

Craig: Oh my God. What are we going to do with this generation?

John: First off, the easiest thing is you do not update your IMDb.

Craig: No.

John: No. No, absolutely not.

Craig: No.

John: Great. You were hired to write a pilot and Bible for two major TV franchises. I am assuming that got you reps. I don’t think this is going to be a situation like our mistakes on Hallmark movies. If these are major things, you have reps. They know the work you did. You got paid for them. They have those as samples that they can show around and give you additional work. Focus on what you’re doing next and you got to move past thinking about these two things that didn’t happen.

Craig: We have to talk about the value of recognizing and appreciating our failures. We fail all the time. In this case, a failure occurred. I’m not saying it was a failure of creativity. What you wrote might’ve been incredible, but here’s what happened. It wasn’t enough to get it made. Then the people that own the property had a conversation with some late-night talk show host who loves that property. No one has any interest in what you did. It doesn’t matter. They just hit reset and started over. You’re sitting here talking about all of those years and the pride and all the rest. You got paid. You took a job. You got paid. You took the money.

Welcome to being a professional in Hollywood. Put your pride away. Don’t go on IMDb with a, “Look at me thirsty, uncredited.” Every time anybody with an uncredited on their page, it’s a stain, as far as I’m concerned. All it says is maybe I did something, maybe I’m lying, or maybe I got fired. Either way, nothing good. What’s wrong with going, “Okay, lost. I lost that game.” Doesn’t make me a bad player. It just means you can’t win them all. I lost it. What industry visibility are you hoping to get from being a washout on a project? The only visibility you can get is a guy that got–

You weren’t even fired by the way. You weren’t fired. You were hired to do something. You did it. Job ended. That’s not even fired. It just means they didn’t want to keep going with you. That’s independent contracting.

Look, I know I have shame issues. I know that. I know that I’m not healthy, but it just seems like we have to get the pendulum swinging a little bit back towards, let’s not say shame. Let’s just say humility. This thing of, “Well, I worked on it, so therefore I deserve something from it.” You got something. Money, experience. Move on.

John: Now, down the road, if this project happens and it’s the same producers, you may still be in the chain of title for this thing. You may still end up with some credit on it.

Craig: Who knows.

John: Who know. You cannot be banking on that. You cannot be focused on that, because Craig and I both know too many writers who got so obsessed with this one thing that didn’t happen and it derailed their careers.

Craig: It’ll kill you. It’s a poison in your veins. To me, I am angry because I didn’t get to succeed on this. I’m not going to say I failed. I’m angry about this and I’m going to fight it in my heart and soul and also in the world somehow.

That’s one of the great poisons that can be in your blood in this business. The other one is envy. When you are watching other people and going, “Well, I should be where that lady is. It’s not fair that she’s there. I’m better than her.” None of that shit is going to help you ever. It’s only– not only to hurt you, it will keep you from succeeding all the time. There is nothing wrong.

By the way, Stu, the most Hollywood thing about you is that you worked on something that it didn’t work out. That’s the ultimate Hollywood professional thing. You don’t think that’s happened to me? You don’t think that’s happened to John? Not once, not twice, but maybe 10 times. It’s just what happens, man. You got to just– you got to let it go. Come on. Come on, Stu. Stu, be the guy that got that job. Don’t be the guy that lost that job.

John: Craig and I have both had conversations with– we’ve had folks on this podcast who were the subsequent writers on projects that we had initially done.

Craig: Yes, of course.

John: You roll with it.

Craig: Absolutely. Look, you and I have both sat in movie theaters, watching movies that are huge hits that our names aren’t on. We weren’t even sent a copy that we wrote a lot of. We took the money. It’s about not getting defined by these things and also not clinging to this one thing is like, “Look what I did.” Next. No one cares what you did four years ago.

John: Here’s the related thing, is I think we talk about writers whose career could derail because they get too obsessed about the thing that didn’t happen. There’s also writers who get too obsessed about the thing that did happen. The success that happened and like, well, that’s it for them. “I had this one success. I got this nomination on this movie was a hit,” and they’re not thinking about what comes after.

Craig: There is a well-known study. I don’t know if it’s apocryphal or not, but that when directors in particular win an Oscar award, the time between that and their next movie is way larger than the time between whatever the median director is and their next feature. It’s because there’s this awards paralysis of, “I must now be precious.” Keep going, man. Just keep going, kids. None of it matters. Did you sell something today? Celebrate. Celebrate for three days if you want. When Monday comes around, get back to work. Do the next thing.

John: I was watching a movie this last week that I thought was fantastic. I was wondering like, “Where is this director’s next movie?” Because this is 10 years and the next movie has not happened. I emailed my manager who figured he’ll probably know this. I said, “What’s the deal? Did this person get secretly canceled? Is there a problem? I don’t understand.” It’s like, “Oh no, apparently he wants his next movie to be something he writes himself, and he’s just having a hard time writing that script.”

Ten years?

Craig: John, see, he wants something. What he wants has nothing to do with how he does his best work. What he wants has everything to do with his pride. “I don’t want to share it. I don’t want somebody else to get it. It’s me. I’m the man. Me. Me.” Well, you’re not. There’s nothing wrong with that either.

John: I do wonder whether there’s a sunk cost fallacy. It’s like, “Now, I’ve spent seven years working on this thing. Maybe I’ll spend another three years.” He should have directed three movies in that time.

Craig: Cut, bait, move on. You can’t. Maybe it’s an offshoot of follow your dreams, do your passion, all that crap, that then leads people who are underemployed and under-credited to behave as if they’re not.

I still struggle to say no to things because I’m panicked that it’ll all end. I have to, because I don’t have the time. That’s because I’m working. There’s no part of me ever that was like, “What? I’m above that.” The only time that I was like, I was very focused on, “I want to try and do something that’s different than the things I’m doing.” And that’s why I did Chernobyl. I did it. And I got to tell you, while I was doing that, I was writing other stuff. I was rewriting things left and right for money.

Because Chernobyl, the entire thing, paid me about what I would make in a week and a half on production rewrites on some very good movies and some spectacularly awful ones. That’s okay. I needed money to support my family while I did this. I never, ever just hit the brakes and was like, “I am now God’s little special, passionate dream child.” I’m in a mood today.

John: You are in a mood today.

Craig: You know what? There’s nothing wrong with that.

John: Let’s move on to Michael here.

Craig: Stu’s probably like, “What the fuck? Jesus, just say, just say no.”

Drew: Michael’s thinking about the next thing. Michael says, “My first short film was recently turned into a film that has won several prestigious awards in my home country. However, the biggest surprise is that it won Best International Short at an Oscar qualifying festival in the States, making it eligible for a 2025 nomination.”

Craig: Congrats.

Drew: “I understand that being long listed isn’t life changing. However, I don’t want whatever potential opportunities that might come from this to pass me by. I’m uncertain about my next steps. Should I continue to focus on developing another short film, or would it be more strategic to shift towards a feature script or TV series? If I’m lucky enough to be in a position where I’m speaking to anyone about potential future projects, I want to make sure I have something in the chamber.”

Craig: I feel like I’m dying.

John: Craig’s shaking his head. You go to that third paragraph and it’s like-

Craig: I feel like everyone’s turned into a fucking agent.

John: Here, I want to make sure we’re catching this. My first short film script was recently turned into a film. Michael is not the writer director, is the writer of the short film script. Michael, I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy the short turned out great. You as the writer will get a very small bump off of this. The writer directors and directors get bumps off of shorts. You will not. Anything you’re doing now to write other stuff that people can see is what you should be doing. Writing another short is not the best use of your time.

Craig: There is literally one way to convert this into value for you, Michael. That is to have whoever sends your script, your next script to someone, whether it’s you or a representative, they get to say in that little thing, “This script is from so-and-so whose movie that he wrote got this award, this award and was long listed, shortlisted or even won an Oscar.” That’s it. Period. The end. Meaning there is nothing to get from this. It happened. They need scripts. There has to be a script. Keep writing. Stop calculating so much. Everybody is just, “How do I convert this into max?” Because that’s the way everyone fucking talks now. It’s unreal. I see it.

You know there used to be, there was a bunch of fake gurus and you hated them? There’s too many now. There’s not enough hate in the world. Everyone now is obsessed with strategizing. I’m like, “You want to cut through all the strategizing? Write a good script. Then you don’t need strategy.” Guess what? My former writing assistant for season two of The Last of Us, I won’t say her name or anything about it identifying because I haven’t asked her for permission. I’ll simply say this. This is an unassuming human being who has the least amount of strategizing of anybody I know. She’s just a very simple, cool, down-to-earth person who’s a bit shy, a bit diffident, a bit nervous.

Well she wrote a script. And I don’t know who initially saw it or got it but there’s a full seven studio bidding war over this thing going on right now. The strategizing got no further than her calling me in a panic going, “I’m terrified and I feel like no one’s really on my side during this.” I was like, “Well, who are your representatives? Who’s your lawyer?” “I don’t have one.” “Got it, done. Now you have my lawyer. Now someone’s on your side. Go with God and congrats.” No planning, no conversions, just writing a script. Which, by the way, Michael, that’s how you got into this position in the first place. You wrote a script. Just keep going. Oh my God. It’s over. Let it go.

John: I do wonder if some of the strategizing that we’ve seen over this last, I’d say the last 10 years has been more of a focus on that. I think, I wonder if social media and the way that you get the instant gratification of like the likes and the re-shares is an acceleration. “This thing has happened, so therefore I have to capitalize on it.”

Craig: Oh yes. It’s poisonous. Everyone thinks that that’s getting you something. It’s getting you nothing. You are all just huffing air and pretending it’s special. It’s not. There’s nothing happening there that matters. As a writer, nothing. Your screenplays matter. The self-promotion, the strategizing, the, “Look at me,” all that stuff, if it makes you feel good, great. Hopefully you recognize that, but it doesn’t matter. The scripts, that’s it. Write something. Keep writing. Stop talking so much about it. Do it instead. I say that as somebody who’s on episode 609,000, but that’s only because you make me. I’m your indentured servant.

John: The last thing I’ll say to Michael is if you had a good experience with this director who did the short and you want to do other stuff, that might make sense. If they are getting some traction and you can be the person getting traction there with them, you can get in some meetings, fantastic. That’s a way that you could actually get out of this.

Craig: You can certainly, you can contact the producers of the film. You can contact maybe the studio that’s releasing it. It’s an easy one for at least for somebody to pick up the phone and go, “You wrote a thing that we made, of course.” Like I said, short of saying, “Hey, this is what I did, therefore, you might want to read the next thing–“

John: If you’re on anybody’s radars, if you’re on the radar of a Sundance Institute and it helps you get into the Sundance Labs, if that’s the thing you’re interested in, could be useful.

Craig: Apply.

John: Apply.

Craig: Anyone can apply.

John: Anyone can apply.

Craig: There’s no strategizing.

John: Two questions on IP stuff.

Drew: Wendy writes, “We’re starting to show our pitch deck around town to gain the interest of an actor. We have an NDA that everyone so far has agreed to sign.”

Craig: NDA, everyone knows that term.

Drew: “We have interest from a verbal pitch by a well-known actor, and his manager is telling us that they don’t sign NDAs. Is this common practice? When I worked as a producer at Imagineering at Disney, we wouldn’t let anyone in the door without signing an NDA. I feel the same way with this, but wanted to make sure that was correct.”

John: I think that anybody’s willing to sign an NDA for you is surprising. NDAs are not common for me as an individual to go out and do a thing. Disney is notorious. You’re not allowed to walk in that Disney Magic Hat building without signing an NDA.

Craig: That’s for them. We shouldn’t also know that abbreviation. We should be innocent of these things. It’s a nondisclosure agreement. Anybody that comes and auditions for us, visits our set, walks near our props, has to sign an NDA. If you’re talking with people about maybe working on something together, I’ve never asked. I personally, I’ve never asked anyone to sign an NDA in my life. It’s sending a little bit of an amateur vibe, I think, to say like, “This actor, we want to talk with you, but we don’t really trust you.”

John: I think it’s Silicon Valley NDAs are more common. When you’re going to pitch a concept of a–

Craig: Of course, because it’s financial, it’s about investing. This is about collaboration. Unless I’m misunderstanding.

John: No, it seems like it is. My answer to Wendy is I don’t think you should be stressed about it. Just don’t worry about it. They’re not going to sign an NDA. Then take that as–

Craig: I can see where like, if your whole career– Wendy worked in Imagineering?

John: Yes.

Craig: I get, your whole career you’ve been signing NDAs. People have been signing NDAs. Nobody can go to the bathroom without an NDA because, “Oh my God, no one can know about the Star Wars hotel or whatever.” But that’s that. You might think like, “That’s been my life. Therefore, it’s what we should do.” No, not in this circumstance. It doesn’t feel like it to me. Look, hopefully you have a lawyer who is working with you, but I’m not really sure what it is that they’re going to disclose anyway that’s so damaging.

John: Drew, let’s jump ahead to Brandon, who’s also sort of IP.

Drew: Brandon writes, “An artist friend and I were originally planning a comic book idea called Monster Agents. I handles all the writing, he worked on art concepts for the characters. But due to his schedule, a comic doesn’t seem likely. He gave me full support and permission to move on with adopting our comic idea into a children’s animation series. I began adapting my own comic scripts to a television pilot and it’s gotten some fantastic grades from some screenwriting feedback services, with many people believing this would work great as a television series for kids. I’ve started organizing a pitch deck and this leads to my question. In any of my pitch materials or on the front of my screenplay, do I say, adapted from the comic book concept?”

“The comic book never left basic storyboards, character concept drawings and scriptwriting phases. Also, it’s me adapting my own work from one medium to another, so would that be weird to mention? Should I just present it as purely an original television animation concept?”

John: So we actually have an answer here. Source material is defined in the WJ credits manual as, “material assigned to the writer that was previously published or exploited and upon which the writer’s work will be based.” This was not a comic book that was published out in the world. This is still an original idea.

Craig: It wasn’t even made. The answer to your question is no. That would be like saying, “Adapted from an idea that I had.” So not adapted. It’s new. It’s a new thing. The fact that you talked about it with people or even the fact that somebody illustrated images that you’re not currently using to promote it or anything like that, no.

John: The degree to which this was a collaboration between you and this artist friend, if you guys, this was your joint thing that you were doing together, I think it’s shitty to try to cut them out of this. You have to have a conversation with them to what degree are they a story collaborator on this?

Craig: It sounds like the other person was like, “Go do it. I drew some things, but we couldn’t turn it into a comic book.” If in the development of it, monsters started looking like the monsters that the artist drew, that would be a discussion to have, of course. But no, it’s an original work.

What was common, I don’t know if they’re still doing it, but in the 2000s and 2010s, it was common for people to nearly self-publish some sort of graphic novel to then go to studios and say, “I wrote a graphic novel, it’s IP, let’s set it up here and then I’ll adapt it into a screenplay.” That was somehow schmuckbait for dumb executives who couldn’t tell. Basically, they were just selling you a screenplay, but they just wrote it and put some pictures on it and published it at some baloney press. You could do that, but why?

John: There’s no advantage to it.

Craig: No, not anymore, I don’t think.

John: All right, let’s do our One Cool Things. I have two one cool things. First off is the new COVID vaccine, a booster shot that I got yesterday. I got it in my arm. Craig, you don’t need it because you just got it.

Craig: I just had nature’s COVID vaccine.

John: You just got the COVID vaccine. It’s out there, so everyone should get it. I always recommend the flu shots. From the very start of the program, I would recommend the flu shots. Now it’s the COVID booster.

Craig: I need to pick a week where I’m okay with being a little gross for a few days because I do need to get the shingles vaccine. Shingrix.

John: I got my shingles vaccine. It did, makes you feel bad. The second one hurts more than the first one.

Craig: Is it a series of two shots?

John: It’s two shots.

Craig: Hurts like your arm swells up kind of hurts?

John: No. They just feel bad. The shot hurts a little bit.

Craig: Your body reaction?

John: Yes.

Craig: Remember the first COVID vaccines, how much they hurt? The next day, your arm was like, ow.

John: My arm was a little bit sore.

Craig: Oh man, it really hurt. Then everyone was like, “That means it’s working.” I’m like, “I’m sure it is.”

John: My second one thing is a feature they’ve added onto threads, which I think is actually really smart. It’s called Hide for Everyone. Basically, if someone is replying to your post and is just being a jerk, and you tap Hide for Everyone, it just sends them into a void where they don’t know that you’ve hidden it from everybody else.

Craig: This feature is one of the most brilliant things. Back in the old days when I was on the writers’ BBS-type forums, there was a setting on this old, I think it was V Bulletin, I think it was called. There was a setting called Send to Coventry. It meant that person would not know that anyone couldn’t hear them. No one else would know that person was talking. They would just go on and on. No one knew. They didn’t know. It was wonderful because some people, oh my God. Send to Coventry, so that’s what they’ve done here, which is brilliant. Love it.

John: The other feature is you can, if you’re getting piled onto for a post you’ve made, you can disconnect that post from the feedback.

Craig: I see.

John: It just sort of takes you out of that.

Craig: To short circuit the viral kickback?

John: Yes.

Craig: You know what really does that? The best version of Hide for everyone.

John: Stay off social media?

Craig: Stay off social media. That’s what I’ve done. I have the ultimate Hide from Everybody. Disconnect. It doesn’t seem to have slowed me down, even though strategically I’m not leveraging my social media reach. Barf.

John: Barf.

Craig: Barf.

John: Craig, you got any one cool things for us?

Craig: It’s an old one cool thing, but it’s a renewed one cool thing because it’s just so goddamn cool. Obviously Baldur’s Gate 3 was my one cool thing when I first played it through. Now that we’ve wrapped, I’ve picked it back up to do a new playthrough, which is a little painful at first because you have to like learn a new character and you’re trying to break your old patterns and you want to experience different things.

John: You’re on rails for that first little section too. I find frustrating.

Craig: Ish. But that’s the thing. On this playthrough, as a totally different character, I’ve just made a point of like, “I’m going to slow down and look everywhere.” And the amount of shit that I had missed-

John: Totally.

Craig: -is insane. I’m not even talking about things that were like, “Well you made this choice. That gets cut off for you. I’m talking about-

John: A Little geographic exploration.

Craig: Correct. It’s bananas. Larian is just a little miracle. It was, it’s honestly like a little miracle. It’s hard to believe. The first playthrough, did you by any chance fight Raphael?

John: I did. Yes.

Craig: You did? That’s a, that’s a tough fight. That’s the toughest fight in the game.

John: It’s a really tough fight.

Craig: 666 hit points.

John: Of course the special song that plays.

Craig: The special song, which is catchy.

John: On your first playthrough, I bet you did not do the Githyanki crush.

Craig: I did.

John: You did?

Craig: I did. That’s the thing. On my first playthrough, I didn’t go to the house of hope. I didn’t do that. That entire thing I missed. I’m just saying like, “Wait, here’s a whole weird house with a thing in it that was in the corner of a map that I didn’t know was there.” There’s so much stuff. I thought I’d picked through all of it. In Laroque and the wizard in Baldur’s Gate, that tower has so much shit in it that I was not aware of. Now I am. God damn, that game is good. It’s so good. You know what? We should play D&D tonight.

John: I think we will. We should go to your house and play some D&D.

Craig: Huzzah.

John: What do we eat for D&D?

Craig: You know what? Whatever you want. You tell me and I’ll order it up.

John: I think some Burger Lounge could be good.

Craig: Burger Lounge? Done.

John: It’s been a minute.

Craig: It works every time.

John: That is it for Scriptnotes for today. It’s produced by Drew Marquardt.

Craig: What?

John: Edited by Matthew Cilelli.

Craig: Oh God.

John: Outro this week is by Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That is also the place where you can send questions. You’ll find show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com

That’a also where you find the transcripts, and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have t-shirts and hoodies and drinkware. They’re all great. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau, and hats. Hats are great. You can sign up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on words we know, but never use.

Craig: Like GithHub.

John: Craig, thank you so much.

Craig: Thank you.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Alright, Craig. The motivation behind this segment was I recognized that there were words that I knew, but I was never actually using. I’d be nervous to type them, but I certainly wouldn’t say them in a conversation. It’s like, “Am I going to get it wrong?” For example, I got reticent wrong on the podcast and people called me out. I was like, “That’s right. It does not mean reluctant. I was using it as that.” Here’s a word that I’ve heard you use. This is the one.

Craig: Decrement?

John: Yes. I’ve heard you in the course of D&D say dee-crement rather than decrement.

Craig: Sometimes I’ll say dee-crement. I don’t know which is better, pronunciation wise.

John: Dee-crement matches up well with decrease and with the opposite of increment, but it does go down. Yes. Then I also listened to this past week, wrote in to say we should talk about bathos, and do you even know what bathos is?

Craig: I know that it’s not pathos.

John: Bathos is an effect of anticlimax created by an unintentional lapse in mood from sublime to the trivial or ridiculous. You might say, “His epic poem has passages of almost embarrassing bathos.”

Craig: It’s not going to come up often.

John: It’s not going to come up all that often.

Craig: No. It certainly is going to come up constantly in the staff meetings at the English department, classics departments at various colleges.

John: I thought we might take a look through some words that I will see used, and I’ve never been tempted to try to use.

Craig: Let’s play this game. I’m certain to fail.

John: Desultory.

Craig: Desultory?

John: Have you ever used it?

Craig: No.

John: Desultory is lacking a plan or purpose or enthusiasm. “A few people left dancing in a desultory fashion.”

Craig: Okay. A fancy way of saying random.

John: Yes, random.

Craig: Purposeless. Aimless. Unfocused.

John: Yes, I think the fact that we have really good alternative things for it is-

Craig: Don’t need it.

John: Induritize.

Craig: Induritize?

John: Yes, to harden the heart.

Craig: That’s just ridiculous.

John: We don’t need it.

Craig: Because we have inure. Inure to. Induritize. That almost feels like a mistake.

John: It does feel like a mistake. Not necessarily a word. Ebullient.

Craig: Ebullient means with bravado and confidence.

John: Confidence and joy and enthusiasm. I get the word. I’ve just never been tempted to use it.

Craig: Nah, it feels like you’re an asshole if you use that word.

John: Importune. To importune upon somebody.

Craig: To importune is to, is that to prevail upon them in an interrupting way, to force yourself upon someone?

John: Yes. Again, I’ve not needed it.

Craig: It’s not necessary.

John: Assent, so assent not to climb up, but to give one’s assent to a thing.

Craig: That’s to give your nod of approval. That I do use all the time.

John: Yes, with your assent. I use it as a matching to dissent, but it’s not a word I would reach for.

Craig: Do you give me your assent? What it’s been replaced with is consent. People are obsessed with consent.

John: Consent, but they’re not the same word.

Craig: They are not the same word.

John: Consent is agreeing to a thing.

Craig: A mutual agreement. Whereas assent is, and I think a lot of times when people say consent, they mean assent. Which is, “I assent to you doing this to me.” Consent is, “We both agree this will happen.”

John: Expatiate.

Craig: Oh boy. I guess it would mean to send somebody away from their country?

John: That sounds right. Expatriate is how I think it would be. If you think about it. Expatiate is to speak or write in detail about, expatiate upon.

Craig: Couldn’t have been wronger.

John: Again, a word that we’re not going to use.

Craig: Also, I said wronger.

John: Do you ever use mettle? Mettle, like prove you’re mettle?

Craig: Yes.

John: I don’t think I’ve ever used it.

Craig: Yes. To test someone’s mettle? Sure.

John: Rakish is a word I know. I never use it.

Craig: A rake, a rake is sort of a slightly caddish guy. A rakishness, rakish audacity is one of the things in D&D. Rakish. You’re a bit suave and cool and sassy.

John: Confidently careless and informal.

Craig: There you go.

John: Censorious.

Craig: Censorious, so that’s with a C?

John: Yes.

Craig: I assume that means in the matter of a censor, meaning prohibiting things.

John: Prohibiting, it’s actually criticizing.

Craig: Like censure?

John: Yes.

Craig: I see, interesting.

John: Insipid is a thing, I know it’s negative, but I’ve never actually had the opportunity to use it.

Craig: Stupid, banal, boring, witless.

John: Here’s a word, peruse, which does not mean what we think it means.

Craig: No, it does not.

John: It’s drifted and now it just means-

Craig: Peruse is in the category of decimate, and has become the opposite of what it means. Peruse means to study something very carefully, but everybody uses it to mean briefly scan for something. Where decimate means remove one-tenth of something and everyone thinks it means remove 90% of something.

John: Harsh. Laconic. Laconic is using words, using a lot of words or using very few words?

Craig: Very few.

John: Yes, and to me it feels like using a lot of words, therefore I’ve never reached for the word.

Craig: Laconic is a classic SAT word that gets grouped in with terse, brusque.

John: Perfidy.

Craig: Perfidy is lying, it’s being a liar.

John: Yes, have you ever used it?

Craig: I’ve used perfidious. Perfidy as a crime, rarely spoken of.

John: Supercilious.

Craig: Supercilious is a wonderful word that means snobby, basically. It comes from, it basically means raising your eyebrow. Super above cilia, the eyebrow.

John: Nice.

Craig: It literally comes from like, “I’m better than you.”

John: With your word game background, you’re probably encountering some of these words that you’re not even reading that often, but they exist.

Craig: They’re part of my life.

John: They’re part of your life but they’re not necessarily things that I would, even knowing what they mean, I would be not inclined to put them in my own writing.

Craig: Supercilious, if I used that word, I would be aware that I was almost self-defining as supercilious. It’s a word that means, like sesquipedalian means a lengthy word. You’re a dick if you say supercilious. You’re being supercilious. Nobody’s going to be like, “That common word.”

John: The challenge here is they’re not dead words. They’re words that people could use and people can understand, but they’re nearly dead words because you can’t count on a person understanding what your intention is behind them. While they could probably pick it out of context, it’s tough.

Craig: If you note, quite a few of these words are either Latin or Greek-rooted. We tend in English to move more towards the Germanic, our Germanic roots and our Scandinavian roots. There’s no way that the Romans or the Greeks didn’t come up with snobby. That’s going to have to be from the Vikings, right? Something like that. Supercilious, yes, very Latin.

John: As we talked about on the show before, English is unusual in that. We had a whole bunch of words and then the French came in and we took all of their words too. We have a bunch of redundant words that actually have the same origin.

Craig: That is correct. We have both small and petite.

John: Yes, which is fun. Royal and regal, which is good. There’s also the words that on podcasts I hear mispronounced and I’m always so surprised when it happens. This last week I heard re-present for represent. It wasn’t that they were re-presenting something that they presented before. They actually just said re-present.

Craig: Like he represents a version of, yes, that’s wrong. It’s just wrong.

John: It’s just wrong. I hear prefix.

Craig: No. Who says prefix? Prefix, like prix fixe menu?

John: Prefix menu. Tell me your objection.

Craig: I thought you meant prefix.

John: Not prefix. Not the thing that comes before a thing. Prix fixe like a fixed price menu. People will try to over-journalize the rules they think they know about French and so they’ll say, so they’ll say “pree fee,” or…

Craig: No. There’s a weird thing. You’re talking about prefix. Now, by the way, with that, I understand people can mispronounce French words. Especially with Xs.

John: Sometimes they’ll be so insistent that they’re doing it right.

Craig: There’s something that Melissa pointed out to me that I didn’t believe was true. Then the moment she said it, I encountered it many times. A little bit like when her cousin pointed out that a lot of people say hythe. I was like, “No, they don’t.” Then literally for the rest of my life, I’ve just been hearing hythe from people. I just, hythe from very educated people will say hythe. It’s mind-blowing. There are quite a few people who pronounce the word concierge, “conciere”. That’s insane. If it ended in a T? Sure. It doesn’t. It ends in a G. Do we say garage instead of “Gara,” instead of “Garage?” It doesn’t even follow internal rules. Outrageous.

John: Drew, you were pointing out at lunch yesterday that you had confusion about a small wiener dog.

Drew: Yeah, I thought that dachshunds and “dash-unds” were two different types of dogs until probably my late 20s.

Craig: What is it you thought? You saw the word dachshund. You thought it was pronounced “dash-unds”.

Drew: No, I heard the word dachshund. I was like, “That’s a type of dog.” Then I saw the word dachshund and was like, “That’s a wiener dog.”

John: He thought like the dog he was seeing would be, a dachshund would be like a D-O-X-I-N or something?

Drew: Probably D-O-X-E-N is what it was in my head, but that makes no sense.

Craig: It’s actually logical, but hund, hound, it’s all there.

Drew: I wasn’t that bad.

Craig: It was there for you. You just needed to reach a little harder.

John: Those are the words that are like, where once you understand. I think we were talking about lunch also, about like cupboard, like the word, it feels like there should be a word C-U-B-B-A-R-D.

Craig: It is odd that cupboard is pronounced cupboard. We have a few of those strange, very English abbreviated pronunciations like that. I don’t know why. It’s actually, cupboard is a really interesting one. It doesn’t make any sense. I remember as a kid thinking, “Why? Mother Hubbard, H-U-B-B-A-R-D, has nothing in her cupboard.”

John: Coxswain, like the person at the head of the boat. There are those things, which a lot of times place names will be the same situation where it’s like, “It’s spelled that way, but you don’t pronounce it anything like that.”

Craig: Other than spelling bee purposes, no one who hasn’t seen the word coxswain would ever spell it the way it’s spelled. It’s impossible.

John: C-O-X-S-W-A-I-N.

Craig: Correct.

John: That’s insane. It’s coxswain and then it’s coxswain and it’s one of those cupboard things.

John: It’s shortened down. I think the only takeaway I would say from this is that if you’re going to reach for one of those words, or if you have a character who’s reaching for one of those words, just understand that there’s the context around it. Understand that if the person uses one of these ambitious words, that tells you something about the character.

Craig: If you look at the text of the architects, two semi-monologues in the second Matrix movie, there are more high vocabulary words per minute than any other movie I’ve ever seen. Some of those words are incredible, like sedulous, but that was the point, was that he’s vastly smarter than you. Certainly than Neo.

I just like that Keanu Reeves’ character never was like, “Wait, what’s sedulous?” Which we made fun of in Scary Movie 4, because it was funny, but what is sedulous? Why would you let somebody say that in passing and not go, ”Sorry, roll back? What does that mean?” He was just like, “There’s been more of me.”

You don’t know what sedulous means, Neo.

John: I have no idea what sedulous means.

Craig: I still don’t know what sedulous means.

John: We have answers in our pockets. What does sedulous mean? “A person showing dedication, diligence.” “He washed himself with the most sedulous care.”

Craig: Sure. Careful would have been a perfectly good word.

John: Absolutely. That’s an example. It’s like, it’s not a needed word anymore.

Craig: No. I think that the Wachowskis certainly must have gone to a thesaurus and said like, “This guy is going to use these words as part of his character. We want people to be like, ‘What, huh?’” Otherwise they would have just said careful, or diligent even as a slightly more elevated word.

John: My guess is that the word makes persistent English a little bit because I suspect there is seduloso or some other Latinate language might still use it in a way that keeps it alive.

Craig: No one, I have never heard anyone in my life use the word sedulous. Except the architect in The Matrix. He is the only one, ergo. He did say ergo, which I love.

John: Very good. Thanks Craig.

Craig: Thank you.

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