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Scriptnotes, Ep 129: The One with the Guys from Final Draft — Transcript

February 6, 2014 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: And this is Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Craig, welcome back.

Craig: Yes. Here we are, face-to-face, a couple of silver spoons.

John: Now, Craig, do you have memory of what happened to you last week? What actually happened?

Craig: Uh…it was bad. I was on my way to the podcast and my car was hit from behind.

John: Ouch!

Craig: I hit my head on the dashboard.

John: That’s awful.

Craig: When I come to I’m in Aline Brosh McKenna’s basement, [laughs], Misery style. And she’s hobbled me. Yeah. She hobbled me good. She wants to take my place.

John: It’s really pretty clear that Aline wants to take your place, but she was fantastic as a guest host.

Craig: She did a great job. And Jennifer Lee was terrific to come on the show. Thank you, Jennifer. And very exciting. I’m going to get to meet her anyway because she’s going to be a neighbor of mine soon.

John: The hinterlands of Los Angeles.

Craig: We like to call it the privileged place where people like Jennifer Lee choose to live.

John: Exactly.

Today on the podcast we have two special guests. We have Marc Madnick, who is the CEO and co-founder of Final Draft. And Joe Jarvis, who is the product manager. They’re going to talk to us about Final Draft 9 and our interactions with Final Draft 9.

Craig: And we’ve had some. And we are, I have to say, I’m very excited to talk to them. And I think it’s very cool that that they came on the show knowing perfectly well that this wasn’t going to be a softball interview.

John: I have a hunch, because we already recorded it, that you will ask some pointed questions.

So, we’ll do the Final Draft segment. Then we’ll come back. We’ll talk about the Tarantino script, the WGA negotiations, we’ll answer some listener questions. It’s going to be a very big show.

So, first I need five notes.

[Scriptnotes theme music]

John: We were just talking sort of our history with Final Draft. So, my first experience with Final Draft was Final Draft 5. And I remember buying it, I think it was in 2000, and it was like $245 which was like a lot – $249.

Marc Madnick: Still is.

John: Still is. Which was a lot more money back then because of inflation.

Marc: Actually, I think versions one and two were about $349 we started out selling.

John: But I remember I think I bought it at the Writer’s Store, which is a physical place at that point.

Marc: Yup, still is.

John: Out in Westwood. And before then I’d written Go just in Microsoft Word. And you can write a script obviously in a normal word processor, but it’s a giant pain in the ass, and revisions are a giant pain in the ass. So, Final Draft was just an amazing godsend that I could do these things that were so difficult to do before. And they were strange to do, but I could actually do them then, so it was great.

Marc: Thank you.

John: So, that was my first experience with it. Then Final Draft 6 was 2002. Final Draft 7, 2004.

Marc: Boy, you know this better than I do. I have it in front of me. It wasn’t that quick probably.

Craig: Sounds about right.

Marc: It sounds close, yeah.

John: And then Final Draft 8 which was a bigger revision. The FDX format in 2008.

Marc: Right. 2009.

John: And this last year, just this month —

Marc: Three weeks ago.

John: Three weeks ago we have Final Draft 9.

Marc: Yes, doing wonderful so far. Thank you.

John: Fantastic. So, thank you very much for coming here.

So the voices you’re hearing are Marc Madnick. I’m pronouncing your name right, I hope.

Marc: That’s correct. With a C, John.

John: Yes. Marc with a C, Madnick, who is the co-founder and CEO of Final Draft.

Marc: Yes. I’ve been doing this 23 years now.

John: Holy cow.

Marc: I wanted to be you two guys and it led me to this. So, like I always say, those who can’t do make software.

Craig: Make software. John does both.

Marc: I can’t use that joke anymore.

Joe Jarvis: John can do it all.

Craig: John does it all.

John: And Joe Jarvis, what is your official title?

Joe: I’m the Product Manager at Final Draft. And you and I have talked quite a bit about all kinds of — high level, low level stuff. Just all the time. And by the way, I saw Go at a screening back then, probably when you were buying that first copy of Final Draft.

John: Yes, a good time machine back.

So, the reason why we talked this last week was because you were getting, was it phone calls or people were being jerks to you and it seemed like it was coming from stuff that had happened from the podcast. Can you tell us what was going on?

Marc: We listen to the podcast. And Craig is very passionate about his…

Craig: Everything.

Marc: …wants, desires, and likes and dislikes.

Craig: Yes.

Marc: And I guess he got riled up the other day and, you know, listen, I’m the owner of this business. So, I’m never going to have 100 percent of the people love us. So, we take the criticism and I’m used to it. Just like I know you guys write great films and there’s always 10 percent of the people.

Craig: Ooh, sometimes a little more than 10 percent.

Marc: Who are happy to think that you didn’t put your best effort or whatever, which is obviously not true. And you get a few tweets. People, employees, a Facebook thing, an email, “Craig says you guys should die.” It scares people. [laughs]

Craig: No humans should die.

Marc: We can put it behind us. You were very nice to put out a statement about it. That’s why we prompted the call. It’s perfectly fine. We invite the criticism. If I may say that we do survey, obviously, our customer base from time to time. Last time we did it, 92 percent of the people graded us an A or a B. That’s our software, company, and everything. 92 percent of the people.

I bring my office staff, 40 of us. We’re not Microsoft. We’re 40. Some people think we’re really big. We’re still a small, privately-held company. And told them, “Don’t congratulate ourselves. There’s 8 percent of the people, Craig being the number one of them, who do not like us and do not like our software.” So, that’s what keeps me up at night is the 8 percent.

So, I’m used to it.

Craig: We’ll talk a little bit about that 8 percent, and I think even that number is probably a little misleading in a sense.

Marc: Well, it’s a survey.

Craig: It’s a survey. The thing is you guys don’t exist in a vacuum anymore. I think that’s one of the things I want to talk about with you. And first of all, just to go on the record, I’m really sorry. Anybody that called you guys and was abusive or anything, that’s gross. And I was very clear about that on Twitter.

Marc: Thank you for an apology. And we have hourly employees or — “Is somebody going to throw a brick through our window or something?” [laughs]

Craig: Yeah, that’s terrible.

Marc: I had to calm them down. I said, you know, it’s not a problem. People get heated.

Craig: Nobody should be throwing anything. But the truth is there’s no — the satisfaction you can have with a product where you say, okay, it’s an A, or it’s a B, or whatever, is to that product. But if there’s another product where people are an A+, you might as well have a C or a D, if people start to leave you.

And one thing I want to talk to you guys about is what’s happened to Final Draft because as we were saying before the show started I bought Final Draft back in — I think it was 1993. And I drove to Santa Monica where you guys had your initial bungalows like on the second floor kind of thing.

Marc: There were about three or four of us then.

Craig: Yeah. There were three or four of you guys. I remember meeting you. I remember meeting Ben who was your partner. And I bought it directly from you. I wrote a check. And I didn’t have, you know, I was making $20,000 at the time. This was a lot of money. And I got two floppy disks and I guarded them with my life.

And so I was a very early adopter of Final Draft. And I stayed with Final Draft through the revisions. And along the way I got disillusioned. And I’ve become increasingly disillusioned. An particularly disillusioned with what happened with Final Draft 9.

Now, I don’t know if we’re jumping, should we be jumping into this right away? Do we have other stuff to do?

Marc: I don’t understand what happened.

Craig: Well, I’m going to tell you.

Marc: I mean…

Craig: From my point of view. And listen, I’m glad that you guys are listening, you know.

Marc: I’ve heard your point of views before on the show and, [sighs], it’s partially our fault, so I’m obviously — some critiques are warranted. And we listen. But a lot of times it’s misinformation.

John: That’s honestly why I’m so glad you’re here to talk about this.

Marc: Yes. And that’s what I want I to do, too.

Craig: Sure.

Marc: Literally, more times than not, it’s misinformation. People, person A says the software doesn’t do X, Y, and Z, but it does. Now, whose fault is this? Probably our fault. We’re not informing the people as well. But, that’s frustrating when we get comments that aren’t…

John: Accurate.

Marc: Accurate. “Final Draft doesn’t care about the writer. Final Draft doesn’t listen.” There’s 40 people in our office every day —

Craig: Yeah, they’ll listen if you pay $25 or $29 when you call. I mean, you’ve got tech support. I’ve got to pay you, right?

Marc: Actually, misinformation.

Craig: Okay, tell me.

Joe: We also have free chat support and we also have free email support. And you know nobody pays to ring my phone number. I mean, I talk to people all day long.

Craig: All right.

Marc: You’re listeners should know that Final Draft provides free support many different ways.

John: Great.

Marc: We have a knowledge space. Costs money to run a knowledge space. Every question and every question we ever got is up there and searchable. We provide email support free that you get back within an hour if you happen to email us between 8:30 and 5:30 when we’re in our offices. If you do it over the weekend, it might take a day or two.

Craig: Okay.

Marc: We have live chat from 8:30 to 5:30. If you have problems installing or getting started, we have a free telephone number. What Craig is alluding to is that we started to charge $25 per phone call. About 40 or 50 people take advantage just month. It was meant to be a deterrent and it is a deterrent to call. Let me tell you what happened.

For 10 years we provided free phone support. 10 percent of the people — remember now, I run a business; we have to make business decisions. Okay? We’re in business not to go out of business. — 10 percent of people would call up when it was free with no clock and talk and start asking about their printer not working and how do I get Microsoft Word. I mean, things that had nothing to do with us.

Joe: How to write a screenplay.

Marc: How to write a screenplay. And then when John August wanted to call that one time he couldn’t get through. Actually got worse press when we had free phone support then I do today. You don’t like it, but I’m telling you the customers do get serviced.

Craig: Okay, you’re right, I don’t like it. And part of why I don’t like it has to do with the pricing of your product which can… — Now, when Final Draft was the only game in town, I got it. And listen, I’m a capitalist. I understand the way the world works.

Marc: First of all, I was never the only game in town. I’ve always had competitors.

John: That’s — I want us to talk about that —

Joe: True.

Marc: I’ve always had competitors. I wasn’t even the first.

John: But you were always the industry standard. And you always marketed yourself as the standard.

Marc: Why are we the industry standard?

John: Well, that’s a great question, because it’s always —

Marc: Take all the bells and whistles out of everybody’s product, all the competitor’s products, okay. Take them all out. What it comes down to is pagination. Period. A minute a page. Break it down in eighths. Right, you guys are directors as well, okay. So, we are trusted because it’s the proper pagination. You get a script, it’s 120 pages, you can estimate it’s going to be approximately 120 minutes. That’s really what it comes down to. Does it paginate properly?

All the other things are bells and whistles. Okay, really, if you want to break it down.

Craig: Kinda. I mean, revisions aren’t bells and whistles. I mean, that’s a huge part of what we do.

Marc: But, I mean, I’m saying what got us started and what was really important was the pagination.

Craig: Was this many lines per page.

John: Clearly. And I will say going right back to the history of sort of Final Draft, part of the reason why you started the product originally was because you got so frustrated by trying to write a screenplay in a normal word processor.

Marc: Correct.

Joe: Right.

John: And that is honestly one of the things I appreciated about Final Draft so much is that, oh, this is actually set up to do exactly the thing I’m trying to do.

Marc: There you go. Thank you. And that’s the key for us.

John: But who are you competitors now as you see it?

Marc: There are 24 apps, competitors. Adobe has a competing product.

John: Yeah, Adobe Story.

Marc: You know, they come and go. We’re here. We’re still standing. We’re still number one, clearly. And it’s because we believe — I’ll give you a perfect example what makes us stand out.

We made an iPad app called the iPad Writer. It took, ready for this, two years. And you’ll say to me, “Marc, some of these apps that are much less expensive, by the way some of them are even free, they told me they took two, three, four months. Why does it take Final Draft two years?”

A year and a half of that two years was spent making sure that your script of 119 pages was 119 pages there. And also on your IBM, your Windows, I’m sorry, look at IBM, I’m old school.

Craig: That is old school.

Marc: And any device you have of Final Draft it’s the same. We can’t go to a reading, a rehearsal, a whatever we do and say, “Let’s turn to page 16,” and everybody has got a different page 16. Every — I’ll repeat — every — all of my competitors today do not do that. They may have great bells and whistles. They may be… — And by the way, I never talk about my —

Craig: I think Fade In does that.

Marc: No. It does not.

Craig: You’re saying that the Fade In app on the iPad doesn’t match the —

Marc: That’s correct. I took a 215 page script of Final Draft —

Craig: It worked for me.

Marc: It’s the same page count?

Craig: Yeah.

Marc: Oh, our tests showed it different.

John: Craig is lucky and he’s touched. Well, let’s talk about what’s —

Marc: Not on the iPad.

Craig: That’s what I use.

John: The iPad app took two years because it was a huge undertaking to move something that was working on the Mac and in Windows onto an iPad device.

Marc: Right.

John: Final Draft 9 is about four years after 8.

Marc: Mm-hmm.

John: What were the challenges there?

Marc: The biggest one was about 10 years ago Apple, even though we’re a developer and they love us and we have friends over there, they don’t tell you anything. 10 years ago they made you do Carbon language. And you’re familiar with this. And you had to go down there and strip it, you know, put Carbon in.

I’m not a techie, by the way. But, now they come to us three, four years ago and say, “You need to do Cocoa.” That means a page one rewrite for us. What does that mean to the customer? Well, version 8 they came out with MacBook retina displays. Guess when we found out that our font wasn’t really looking as crisp as it should? When somebody came to our office with a MacBook retina display.

It’s not like we got a call, or they mentioned it to us. We didn’t even know until it happened. So, what do we have to do? We have to spend a year and a half rewriting our software so it works on not only today’s latest Mac operating system —

Joe: With the Cocoa.

Marc: But their future ones. Okay? So, now we can take advantage of their dictation, some of the things they provide in there. It can take advantage of —

Joe: Full screen.

Marc: So, there’s a year and a half there.

John: Yeah, that’s a lot.

Marc: 36, 38, something like that, other pieces of software rely on the FDX format, from your editing programs to your casting to translation companies use the FDX format for various different things. You have to make sure it works with all of these things. It takes some time. There are new features. There are corrections. There are fixes. It goes on and on and on.

Craig: Are you honestly saying that you think the amount of time that it took to do Final Draft 9 with the amount of features you’ve added and the price you’re charging, you think that all lines up right?

Marc: Yeah, absolutely.

Craig: You don’t detect a problem?

Marc: Of course, Craig. Like I said, we’re in business not to go out of business.

Craig: I understand, but —

Marc: Absolutely. It’s a mature product. It’s a very mature product. You say the same thing about Microsoft Word and Quicken. What do they actually put in? We put a lot in here. A lot.

Craig: Not really.

Marc: Of course we did. First of all, it takes advantage of all of your latest operating systems. That’s very important.

Craig: I’m sorry. Marc, Marc —

Marc: You’re sorry?

Craig: I am. I’m sorry…to interrupt. Not sorry for what I’m about to say. Adding retina display to this product when retina display has been out for two years. And listen —

Marc: It’s not one line of code.

Craig: Just give me a moment. Just give me a moment.

Marc: Okay. Okay.

Craig: We’ve given you a lot of time. And I’m just a little incredulous. There are a lot of companies out there. In fact, 100 percent of companies that make software for Mac had to deal with the fact that suddenly there was a retina display.

John: Yeah, we had to deal with it with our two apps. So, Bronson Watermarker and our other Mac app, Highland, our other Mac app were originally not retina and so we had to make them retina. It is —

Joe: Were they originally written in Carbon libraries or Cocoa library?

John: They were written in Cocoa library.

Joe: We had to go from Carbon to Cocoa, where it’s a very low level transition. So, a lot of what you’re saying —

Marc: You’re punishing us for being around since 1992.

Craig: Not at all. What I’m saying is…

Marc: That’s the way I see it.

Craig: …if you’re going to — listen, you guys have been around a long time. You’ve been charging a lot of money for a product for a long time. This change comes along and you decide we’re going to take as much time as we need and we’re going to still charge you all this money anyway when everybody else has become used to a cycle now where products update fairly frequently and things like retina display is a free update. It’s not a charged update.

And the fact that you guys had to rewrite your software is now why I have to spent $99. Is that what it is to update?

Marc: Well, $79 if you act by the end of the day. We take credit cards.

Joe: Act now.

Craig: Listen —

Marc: I don’t understand. Do you know how much work that goes into it? We’re not, you know —

Craig: I’m a customer. I’m not here to cry for you. What I’m going to —

Joe: In order to see it all.

Craig: It doesn’t matter. I don’t need to see it all.

Marc: You want to make sure —

Craig: Hold on. You guys don’t need to see what we do to make a movie. And I don’t need to see what you do to make software. All I need to know is does this make sense for me or not. And what I’m saying to you is I’m a little surprised by the fact that you’re coming here and essentially acknowledging no mistakes, no problems, we did everything right.

Marc: No…

Craig: Right? Because it seems to me, you’re in a position now, John put this article on about how Quark was just — Quark ruled the world. And then one day they didn’t. And I have to tell you, you guys — and this is not person, it’s just a business, seem willfully blind to the fact that things are so much more easily disruptable now than ever before.

I mean, listen, you used to say you need Final Draft because the studio needs it to break down for budget. No they don’t. Not anymore. They’re breaking the budget down from in Universal right now off of a PDF document. They don’t need this anymore. I can get, John, oh my gosh you guys have watermarking now. One name, John has — what does Bronson cost?

John: it’s $29.

Craig: $29.

Marc: Which is why we told people if they need — we keep improving it as it goes on.

Craig: But I don’t understand. You guys are the industry leader and you seem to be just lagging behind.

Joe: Well, there is a lot, as Marc said, a lot of legacy code, so we’re — unfortunately because we’ve been around so long it’s harder to pivot quickly because right now I’m talking all day long with our chief architect about these particular libraries that if we want to pursue opportunity A, or opportunity B, or put it on the surface, or make it Unicode for other languages, there are some legacy libraries that are going to have to get removed. And so it’s like we’re going to have to go through and take a lot of engine parts out and replace a lot of under the hood stuff.

And it unfortunately takes a long time.

Marc: And the customer doesn’t see that, but it’s necessary that is has to be — it has to happen.

John: And I actually see that.

Joe: It’s a hindrance to be as old as we are.

John: I have a tremendous amount of sympathy for you, Mark, though in a sense of software pricing. Because I think what Craig is complaining about the price, $249 is not expensive software for a thing that you’re using every day and that you’re staring at every day. And yet the price of software has fallen through the floor. And Adobe feels it. And everyone sort of feels it because I think consumers start to sense that apps should be either free or they should be $0.99 like they are on the iOS App Store.

So, I’m incredibly sympathetic to you guys in that regard. No matter what you price it at someone is going to say, “Well that should have been a free update.” That’s inevitably going to happen.

Marc: Well, you know, you get that criticism. But the only income we make is from selling you Final Draft license, which is a perpetual license that you have forever, and ever, and ever, and selling you upgrades. There is no other income revenue at Final Draft. That’s what it is.

Craig: But I can now purchase an entire new software program for half the cost of what you’re charging for an update that has a few features thrown in. And that to me seems out of whack. That’s where I just say, look, I’m not saying that it’s right or wrong. The market doesn’t have right or wrong. It’s just a market.

Marc: You are in the minority. Fact.

Craig: Well, I’m in the minority now. But, I guess I’m just sort of surprised that you guys are sort of going, “And you’ll always be in the minority. We don’t see a problem. We don’t see any icebergs.”

Marc: No.

Joe: I mean, unfortunately, like Marc said, we sell one thing. Apple gives their operating system away for free. But they sell $30 billion worth of iPads every quarter.

Craig: Oh, I’m not comparing you guys to Apple.

Marc: Our sole revenue is this.

Joe: We’ve heard the comparison, “Why can I get a whole…”

Craig: There’s a difference between free and $300.

Marc: Well, first of all, many company’s upgrades are about half the price of the full copy. Ours isn’t. $79. And even when it’s $99 is about 40 percent.

Craig: If this had been… — Look, part of the thing that I was surprised by, and I think you were surprised by, too, to be fair, was that this upgrade which you sell like a full upgrade didn’t feel like a full upgrade. It felt like, frankly, an incremental thing that should have been released as a free update or a service package like retina display. I mean, I’m paying for retina display? And what else?

Joe: Had we released it for free we would go out of business, because it takes a lot of development —

Marc: And that’s your opinion. We’re getting tremendous responses.

Joe: A lot of development for us to get to that point.

Marc: That’s our problem, I think.

Craig: I know I see it as a problem.

John: I think it’s an industry problem. I think it’s a software industry problem.

Joe: It’s a challenge in software development.

John: Especially I think for people in your situation and I know Movie Magic Screenwriter has a similar thing because they’re product feels like it’s 1983. I mean, those menus feel incredibly old. And they’re going to face the same situation. You guys were smart enough to pivot and go to FDX format. That’s a classic example of making the right choice of getting rid of FDR.

Joe: Yeah. We had to bite the bullet. We knew it was going to take a long time.

Marc: Hey, we made a lot of bad decisions over the years. You live and learn. This is what running a business is. We’re 40 people. There’s not an office really in the world that has 40 people dedicated to one thing. And that’s screenwriting and screenwriting software.

And, quite frankly, we listen every day. We service our customers. We listen every day. We love the good comments and we listen to the negative ones. Believe me, we take them to heart.

Craig: Do you think I’ve had any interesting or reasonable criticism for your product, or you think it’s all just a bunch of bunk?

Joe: I read every single podcast.

Craig: I’m not asking if you read it. I’m saying do you agree with me?

Joe: I want to absolutely know. Do I, well —

Marc: Sure, yes. Yes, some of your criticism is warranted.

Joe: I can’t think off the top of my head.

Marc: I don’t remember those. I remember the ones that aren’t warranted.

Craig: I think that’s weird. I would remember the ones that are warranted.

Marc: Hold up. This is our business.

Craig: Yes.

Marc: We know exactly, top to bottom, what the customers want, what they need, and we listen. You have to make business decisions on how you do it, when you do it, how you implement it, not implement it. It’s really what it’s all about. But we know. We’re engaged. And we understand. And we hear the criticisms. And some of your criticisms are warranted. And some of them are, I feel you might be misinformed.

Craig: All right.

Marc: I can’t pick and choose that. I don’t want to pick and choose and beat a dead horse. But this is how 40 people make a living. Believe me, we listen.

Craig: All right.

John: But let’s talk about your customers, though, because do you perceive your customers being sort of the working-working-working screenwriters or the aspiring screenwriters. What do you know about your customers?

Marc: Well, I wrote something that got produced, a theater piece, at Ford Theater. Am I professional writer?

John: You and I talked about this because that was actually the template that I used for Big Fish. I was just starting Big Fish when you did that. And it was like a patriotic —

Marc: Yeah, It’s called Liberty Smith. Actually, it was very well received.

John: Great.

Marc: 10 percent of the people, by the way, didn’t like it. [laughs]

Craig: That’s better than I’ve ever done.

Marc: Thank you. Yes, it’s correct. And I don’t write the music but I was the book writer on it. And we had a ball with it. I don’t know where this is going now. I just lost my…you got me talking about myself.

Craig: Who your customer base. Who do you see as your — ?

Marc: Oh yeah. So, am I professional writer? Well, some people would say yes. I got paid a little bit of money. But I’m not. So, it’s hard to tell when you do surveys about who’s actually professional writers or not. And I would say it comes back 30, 40 percent of our users internationally are professional writers. Okay?

We are extremely popular in India. I went to Mumbai. I went all over the place. We estimated, the Mumbai Film Office estimates there are 300,000 people using Final Draft in India. They make four times the amount of TV shows and movies we do, except we sold one copy eight years ago and didn’t even get paid for that. It’s 100 percent piracy.

But we’re very popular there, so they bring me over there and they want us to do more stuff to help make it better for them. But, if you’re not going to get paid — it’s a business like anything else. But, so we take the criticism.

John: The reason why I ask who your customers are is I think between Craig and I we know almost all the working feature writers. And a lot of them have been frustrated with Final Draft over the years, some more, some less. Most people end up using it. Like it’s still the best thing. That’s honestly what you honestly.

Craig: Sure. By default.

John: It’s by default. And so like it’s good in production stuff. You bite the bullet and you use it. But I asked a lot of people and I asked like did you use a beta of Final Draft 9. Did they come to you? Did they survey you? Were these the things you wanted?

Marc: Of course.

John: But I haven’t found anybody who did of my working —

Joe: We do have professional writers on our beta. I’m not going to give their names out, but we do. And we do consult them. And we actually pursue relationships with guys like you. You guys are our customers. And the reason that aspiring writers want to use our product is because they want to use what the pros use. And we know this.

And so primarily we’re here to make you guys happy. And if we’re not then we’re not really doing our job. That’s what we really want to do.

Marc: 24 competitors yet we’re the ones who show up everywhere. I mean, we’re everywhere. We’re at the London Screenwriting Festival.

Craig: You are —

Marc: Wait, let me — we’re in Buenos Aires for the International Film & Video Association.

Craig: Yes, you’re spending money on that.

Marc: And we put ourselves right there. The list —

Craig: You’re spending money on that. I mean, part of what —

Marc: Let me finish. We’re listening to everybody.

Craig: No, no, no. You’re promoting. That’s not listening.

Marc: Ooh!

Craig: It’s promoting! You guys run contests and you go places and you show up. And, listen, promoting is part of business. But part of what I think a lot of — when I talk to screenwriters we perceive is that Final Draft has become a company that charges a lot of money to wannabes, takes that money, converts it into marketing to get more wannabes. And there’s nothing wrong — every professional writer starts as a wannabe.

But what you’re not doing, I don’t perceive, and like John said we’ve never met a single screenwriter that you guys have talked to.

Joe: Right.

Craig: That’s a little weird, since we know almost all of the ones that work.

Marc: We might have talked to 250 people just today alone. Every day.

Craig: 250 people today?

Marc: We email, every day. Every day.

Craig: No, I mean to say talk to them in other words —

Joe: Well, you have some friends that wrote on Ride Along, right?

Craig: Yes.

Joe: One of my buddies was the original writer on that. Very close relationship with him. Talk to him every day. He wants to come in and present stuff to Marc. Every other week he’s asking me for things. CollaboWriter. Huge item on his list. He won’t shut up about it. It’s something I absolutely want to build to make him happy. He’s a pro. He had a million dollar pitch at Paramount. You’ve never heard of the title of this thing, but he’s a real guy. And he’s out there.

Craig: I’m not denying that you talk —

Joe: These are real people.

Craig: Yes. I’m not denying that you talk to some people, and I don’t know if he’s got a credit on the movie or not.

Joe: Yeah.

Craig: Okay.

Joe: For sure.

Craig: And that’s good. But I’m saying that it seems odd that there isn’t quite a bit of consulting going on with professionals.

Marc: Craig, I’m sorry to say —

Craig: I know you’re saying that I’m wrong.

Marc: You’re completely, 100 percent, mistaken.

Craig: We just don’t know the ones who talk to you.

Marc: I came here to the hot seat, didn’t I?

Craig: We just don’t know the ones that you’re talking to.

Marc: Listen, the one time I would say that 30 or 40 percent of the television market, no, what am I thinking? Yeah, the television market.

Joe: The TV shows.

Marc: The TV shows was ours. Okay? So we went out and spoke to everybody and anybody, script coordinators, everybody. Today we probably have 90, 95 percent, I don’t know. But just about every studio and TV show uses Final Draft. Why? We went and talked to them, and listened, and we put the things that they wanted in there. To assume — this is how we make our living. To assume that we’re not engaging the customer is —

Craig: Well, we’re not talking about [crosstalk] —

Marc: No, it’s my fault. It’s my fault. That you have — let me finish Craig. If you have this perception, then we did not do our job.

Craig: The only perception that I have is that it’s just a little, there’s perhaps just an odd coincidence that John and I don’t happen to know any of the theatrical screenwriters that you talk to.

Joe: They call us every day. The Family Guy, Doug Ellin. I could just go on and on and on. I mean, Modern Family. We talk to everybody. We talk to everybody that we know. We would love to know the guys you were talking to and get their input.

Craig: Well, that would be good.

Marc: You’re frustrated because there’s things that you don’t like about it and you want to know why we haven’t acted on those things. And the answer to that question is that we have to prioritize. We are a business to not go out of business.

Craig: I’m —

Marc: Let me finish. There’s only so many screenwriters in the world. You talk about price points. Okay, 40 people have to eat at Final Draft. I’m not an extremely wealthy person out of this, okay? It’s still a limited vertical piece of software. You have to balance, as a business man, and this is what I do — a small business owner — you have to balance the income and revenue with the expenses. And sometimes they get tricky and some things fall through the cracks.

But we’re not in business to go out of business. And that’s a very key point.

Craig: We’re not asking you to go out of business.

John: We’re certainly not. And I think I’ve said many times I think it’s crucial that we have people at that top end of the industry, top end of apps, so there will always be a way to do that difficult production stuff, because that’s what you guys are especially good at.

Marc: Thank you.

John: As we sort of wrap this up, I want to ask both of you what’s next, or what’s officially on the timeline for the future? Because when I talked to you last I know there were products that were being discussed, but what’s officially the next kind of thing that you guys can talk about?

Marc: Well, we’re talking to a lot of, some other companies and I’m not privy to talk about, that want to do some interesting things with Final Draft. Right on the horizon is we’re releasing — what are we releasing in the next couple weeks?

Joe: Well, right now we’re following up the release of 9 with some fixes and some enhancements.

Marc: That people found.

Joe: I would love to do some more iterations on things like watermarking and make it a little more robust and things like that. Now that it’s out in the wild, we’re getting a lot of feedback and we’re cycling through a lot of that stuff. You guys are both familiar with how that works.

But, one of the big things we’d like to do in the next couple year time frame type roadmap is a better outlining experience with the navigator being a navigator and not a true outliner. I mean, I’ve always felt that. And I’ve always felt like that’s an opportunity for us to really improve this. And so if we were looking at a version 10 or something I think that would be a cornerstone of it.

John: How about Fountain? Is Fountain anything you’re going to be incorporating into future versions?

Joe: You know, Fountain is real easy. It’s text. So, we can already read it. So, we just have to make a couple of syntax adjustments probably here and there. We could import a script right now —

John: You actually do a pretty good job of importing Fountain right now.

Joe: Yeah, because we can read text and we kind of get the context and it does that with the text document. It’s done that for a long time. So, I can pretty much get 99 percent of Fountain today really without doing anything. So, if we did a little bit of a —

Craig: So then you should do that.

Joe: Well, yeah, we should. We absolutely should. I could show you a long list of things I want to do.

Craig: I’m just saying that some of these things that are easy… — In other words, what we’ve become used to is that Final Draft will say every few years, “Here’s a bunch of stuff. Pay for it,” as opposed to as we go through, these little things that obviously don’t require a lot of effort would be nice to see. The other thing I would love to see you guys do that I think everybody would pay — look, I remember buying Final Draft and there was this collaborator thing and Todd Phillips and I were like, “Oh thank god. Finally.”

Joe: It’s absolutely something that we’re dealing with, this CollaboWriter.

Craig: It didn’t even come close to work. And you guys, that was — I had a real problem with that. I felt like I was sold bad goods.

Marc: That’s justified. [Crosstalk] As barriers that people will start building your firewalls and stuff.

Craig: It wouldn’t work on anything. [laughs]

Joe: CollaboWriter was built when it was a peer-to-peer technology with no security. And it’ll still work like that. We took it out of the program.

Craig: Sure, yeah.

Joe: If there were no internet security and firewall on everything that exists today, CollaboWriter worked. It stopped working. And then we kept trying to figure out —

Craig: It never worked.

Joe: And it failed. No, it worked in the beginning.

Craig: Where, at DARPA? It didn’t work in anyone’s office. I mean, honestly, it never worked because everybody at the very least was going through just like, even a router it would —

Marc: It worked. It just had to do some things, manipulate some things.

Joe: It got defeated by internet security and things like that. And technology changed so rapidly. And when Marc says we’re a 40 person company —

Marc: Right. We’re not Microsoft or Apple here.

Craig: No one is asking you that.

Joe: 10 to 15 percent of those people are actually programmers.

Craig: I understand. All I’m saying is…

Joe: So, I have a limited amount of —

Craig: …the company sold me a product and it didn’t work as described. I would love — I think everybody frankly was a little, I think I was — I was, I don’t think, I was shocked that after this many years you guys didn’t come out and at that price say here’s a cloud solution so that you can actually collaborate. This is being mastered across platforms by everyone else.

Joe: What we’re doing is we’re integrating Dropbox on our iPad app so that you have really deep integration with Dropbox to make that a lot easier.

Craig: Oh, come on. But I’m not talking about that.

Joe: But that’s really what our customers are asking us for.

John: Honestly, I’m sort of on your side.

Joe: That’s what our customers are asking us for.

John: All my stuff is currently in Dropbox. That’s where I sort of want to see stuff.

Joe: Yeah.

Craig: No, I understand. But I have Dropbox. See, there’s two kids that have created this writing site, you know, WriterDuet, where they — now, is that solution appropriate for Final Draft, I don’t know. But they figured something out here already. And they’re just kids!

Joe: Well, so there’s CollaboWriter and there’s like the online storage and syncing the storage.

Craig: They’re not really kids. They’re grownups.

Joe: And CollaboWriter is something we want to deal with in a completely new way, so we have a hosted environment so we can do it the right way.

Craig: Right.

Joe: But as far as syncing and sharing documents, I think there are solutions out there that we just need to integrate with rather than offering you cloud storage. There’s no reason for me to offer you storage.

Craig: We don’t need storage. We need just, yeah.

Joe: We’re making adjustments as we go along and adjustments change.

Craig: Here’s a suggestion to you. Like when I talk to all of our screenwriting friends, the number one thing that we want is to be able to open our laptop here and you open your laptop in your house and we start working in the same document just like Google Docs.

Joe: Definitely. I’m with you.

Marc: We agree.

Joe: We are going to build it. I promise we’re going to build that.

Marc: Let me apologize to the listeners if we’re a little slower than you’d like us to be.

Craig: [laughs] And you have 40 people.

Marc: Like I said, there’s 36 products that work with us. There’s a lot of people that touch Final Draft. We have a lot of — sometimes you get spread a little too thin. We do realize that we are in the screenwriting business and our job is to make screenwriters happy. Hopefully we will get Craig to be a fan.

Craig: You know me. I’m all — I’m honest.

Joe: You’re much more charming in person than on paper.

John: I told you he was going to be a charming person.

Joe: He’s a sweetheart —

Craig: This is charming? Really?

John: Thank you guys so much for coming in.

Craig: Thank you. That was brave. That was brave.

John: It was brave and wonderful for you guys to come in and talk to us about Final Draft 9

Craig: Face the music.

John: And let’s keep a good dialogue going.

Joe: Let’s stay in touch and let’s get these things worked out.

Marc: We’re open to criticism. We’re open to love. And we’re open to suggestions. And just want to remind the listeners we’re not distant. We spend every day listening, talking, interacting with writers of all kinds, from playwrights, to television writers, to people in Europe. We work very hard. My team works very hard.

Craig: I believe you.

Marc: And the reason that prompted this was that the employees might have felt taken back.

Craig: That’s a shame.

Marc: And me — throw it all at me.

Craig: And we are very, I have to say just personally I respect the hell out of you guys for coming on. I think it’s fantastic. I hope that you understand that everything I have to say — the good news about me is that I’m just a little honesty machine, so when I love it I’m going to love it hard.

Joe: What you see is what you get.

Marc: But this is why we came here. We cannot get better unless we listen to the criticism. We just can’t accept the love. I do want to thank the listeners that do love us to keep loving us. And I want the ones that don’t to tell us how to make us better. That’s the only way you get better. We are sometimes a little slower because we have a big reach. We’re not a new startup. We’re not a small company. And we have what you call a legacy product. And you have a lot of things that have to work hand in hand with that. And a lot of partners and a lot of — I could go on, and on, and on.

So, it’s a balancing act and I appreciate you having me on.

Craig: It was a pleasure.

Marc: And please feel free to keep criticizing us. It makes us better.

Craig: [laughs] Fantastic.

John: Thank you guys so much.

Joe: Something tells me they will. [laughs]

John: Yeah, probably.

Marc: As always, John, good to see you.

Craig: Thank you guys, that was great.

[Scriptnotes theme music]

Craig: So, a very interesting thing happened this week. Billy Ray and Chip Johansen — Johansen, right? Johannessen or Johansen? Well, anyway, Chip, they are the co-chairs of the negotiating committee. Very well regarded, well respected writers, not only for the work that they do but their position in the guild and their demeanor, they way they conduct themselves.

And they sent an email to the membership and it said essentially that even though the AMPTP, the organization that corrals all the companies for the purposes of bargaining, even though they’ve made a deal with the DGA, and even though we have, I think we’re coming up on 70 years of precedent where if one guild gets a deal they all get it, the AMPTP opened up with a volley that they were going to offer us something that was worth $60 million less, with all these rollbacks on the table. And basically the email said, “Well, that was surprising. And we’re not going to take that.”

And I just wanted to talk about this for a minute, because what does it mean? A lot of people are a little concerned and nervous.

John: So, as we’ve talked about on the podcast before, I’m actually on the negotiating committee for this contact. So, while I can’t talk about specifics of what’s going on here right now, I would say in general in the town both on the writers’ side and the studios’ side, it didn’t feel like this was going to be a particularly contentious negotiation.

Craig: Yeah, like why? This wasn’t supposed to be this way. Why are they doing this?

The first thing I should say is that there was — what I didn’t read in the email from Billy and Chip was any sense of panic. And nor do I have a sense of panic. And the reason I don’t have a sense of panic is because I think that this is a fairly obvious but also fairly clumsy attempt by Carol Lombardini, who is the head negotiator for the companies, to get us to sort of bargain up towards the DGA as opposed to trying to get us — working hard to get us to bargain down to that number.

As a strategy I suppose it’s okay. It’s a little silly. A lot of this stuff is kabuki theater. The blunder here was that it was just way too aggressive. Way. It just feels like a huge mistake. And it feels like a mistake on their part strategically because, look, if they really do want to overturn pattern bargaining then I’m going on strike. I’ll go on strike without the WGA. [laughs] I don’t care.

John: Craig Mazin just walks around all the time with a blank picketing sign and he will just write whatever he needs to write on, because that’s Craig Mazin. That’s what Craig Mazin does.

Craig: Uh [laughs]. So, if you lose me that early you’ve really blown it because I’m a very moderate guy about this sort of thing. I hate strikes because I think that you can’t truly win a strike.

But in this case if we were to violate pattern bargaining, there’s no reason for the guild to exist anymore. If you accept that one time, then the next time you’ll have to do it again and again until eventually we just get paid McDonalds wages and what do we need a union for?

That’s why I know that this isn’t serious from them because they know that we would never take it. I just think it was a bungled first step by the companies and I hope that they un-bungle this quickly. It was sort of pointless.

John: I am told that my function as a member of the negotiating committee will be to sit in a room and make a counter offer, then sit while they mull that counter offer, and then sit some more, and then sit some more. So, I am bringing plenty of good reading material. I have plenty to write. I’m looking forward to hanging out with my fellow writers and trying to get this contract done.

Craig: It’s essentially the writer’s version of jury duty, because the negotiating committee exists per the constitution, the union constitution. In actuality it would be impossible to negotiate anything. By the way, it’s the same thing for the companies. They have all these people in the room. It’s very hard for the — ultimately it comes down to about four people in a sidebar deciding everything. So, you become quickly ceremonial.

But that said, I think everybody is looking at this going, “Oh, come on. That’s just ridiculous.” So, I guess I would say to my fellow writers don’t panic. Not over this. But, nor should you think for a second that we would ever in a million years accept something like that. We would not.

John: If Craig Mazin tells me not to panic I will not panic.

Now, another thing that happened this week, something that a reader wrote in about, this is from Erica Horton: “I know you guys have probably gotten a lot of questions about the Quentin Tarantino Hateful Eight script. However, I was wondering if you could address the difference between sharing a script the way one of the actors supposedly did and posting the screenplay online the way Gawker did. Is there a difference?

“I understand how someone producing a movie from a screenplay without the permission of the author is copyright infringement, or taking it and claiming it as their own. Is it against copyright law to share someone’s screenplay if you credit them as the author and don’t sell it?”

Craig: Absolutely against copyright law. 100 percent. What a shame. And then Quentin famously said, “Well, now I’m not making the movie.”

John: Which I would like to stipulate as a writer and director, that is entirely his right.

Craig: I love —

John: He can not make his movie. That’s fine.

Craig: If he weren’t already the coolest guy in the world he would have become the coolest guy in the world because of this. Strong move to the hoop.

John: So, in case people are listening to this podcast years after the fact, what happened this last week is Quentin Tarantino’s script, which is apparently called Hateful Eight, leaked online. So, I’m not even sure what the entire backstory of this was, but he had sent the script to certain actors and either through them or through their agents somehow it got out. And it was passed around town. But, more importantly it was put online by Gawker. And so people could read the screenplay. And that is what has happened to get us to this point.

Craig: The idea is that if you’ve written a screenplay, either you haven’t sold it or you have sold it, either way someone owns the copyright. And part of copyright — part of the right of copyright is the right to distribution. So, I don’t have the right to sell things that I haven’t authored unless I’ve gotten permission. And in this case copying and disseminating the screenplay is a violation of the copyright owner, which in this case I think is Quentin. I don’t think he’s sold it to anybody yet. Yeah.

Which is even — for those people who are kind of copy-fightists, then just know that his isn’t like a pro-corporation, “Well Mickey Mouse should be copyright forever,” kind of thing. This is a man who wrote a thing.

John: So, let’s talk about the difference between a script being passed around Hollywood and a script being posted online. I’ve taken my own sort of smaller John August umbrage at people posting script reviews online. And this is sort of the same kind of thing, but times a thousand.

I think as writers we can all sort of understand what this is like. This is something that I’ve written that I did not want to share to the world that is now suddenly up on Gawker. And how would you feel?

Craig: Violated. I mean, people have to understand we would never — if Stephen King sent a rough draft manuscript to his publisher and some assistant in the office took it and scanned it and threw it up on the web, everybody would be shocked by it. But somehow for screenplays we don’t have the same level of outrage, maybe because the internet geek community is so passionate about this stuff. And I use that term lovingly. And they want to celebrate and read these things and they’re obsessed with the insidery-ness of it all.

The problem is they don’t understand we don’t write screenplays for you to read on the internet period, anyway. We write them to be converted into movies. We want you to see a movie not having read the screenplay. What a shame to go into The Sixth Sense or Silence of the Lambs having read the screenplay.

And, look, I saw Silence of the Lambs having read the book, but I would have never read the screenplay to see the choices and to see the movie in my head. It’s just violation. The worst kind of violation is the ScriptShadow-y “I’m going to take your early draft and review it,” which is a double dose of why. Like who the hell gave you the right to do this? And why do you think it’s good for anyone?

John: Let’s step back and talk for a second about a screenwriter’s right to control the distribution of his or her script. Because there’s sort of two different phases a script goes through. There’s the stage where it’s just your script. You’ve written a script, you may have handed it to one or two people to read. You are trying to get their opinions, their feedback. You’re trying to know if this thing you’ve written is good.

Now, at a certain point you’re going to be going after directors or actors and that script is going to be in other people’s hands. At a certain point you give up your expectation that you can control every person who’s reading it. And sometimes that’s okay.

When you write a spec script at a certain point you want people to be passing it around. Each year we talk about the annual Black List of the people who have written the scripts that people love most in Hollywood. And most of those scripts were not a case of an executive calls the agent and says, “Can I read this script?” It’s more, “I read this great script and here I’m going to give you a copy of this great script.” That passing around is a natural part of Hollywood.

But that’s not what happened with this in Gawker. This was not a passing around of something that we loved. This was publishing it on the internet for the whole world to read. And that’s not okay. That’s not an acceptable sort of use of the screenwriter’s work.

Craig: It’s different in scale, obviously. But it’s also different in terms of whose intention is ruling the day. For instance, when I was writing the Hangover movies with Todd Phillips, we never printed a single page out. Nobody got copies of it except for him and me while we were writing it. It existed entirely on our two computers. That’s it. And then when we were done we made a hard copy for the head of Warner Bros. We presumed that he would safeguard and he did. And the three actors, you know, the three guys.

And everybody else had to come into the office, you know, like costume designers and production, everybody else, had to come into the office, read it, and leave, and not take it with them, no transmission, because we understood it was something that people would take and put on the internet.

So, there are screenplays that there will be interest in.

John: Yeah.

Craig: J.J. I’m sure is struggling with massive amounts of security around the Star Wars scripts.

John: And I want to talk about how you lock stuff down when you mean to lock stuff down, because right as the story broke people were tweeting or emailing me saying, “Oh, they should have used Bronson Watermarker,” which is an app I make that watermarks PDFs. Saying like, “Oh, if Tarantino had done this then this wouldn’t have happened.”

No, this could have still happened. I mean, the app that I make can put a watermark on your PDF and that is some protection, and we can do like a bigger deep burn thing where you’re creating an image of every page. That’s a little bit more protection.

But that’s still kind of locking your bike. If somebody wanted to put it up on the internet they could still put it up on the internet. They could retype it. There’s no real way to protect your script from anyone possibly looking at it unless you’re doing exactly what you did with The Hangover 3 which is have people come to your office to read it.

Craig: Well, and for instance on that project, and I suspect it’s the same case with any high profile movie that you know you’re making, and it’s a sequel, or even if you’re doing the first — like I’m sure when they did the first Hunger Games they were obsessive about security. The agents don’t get it.

One thing that I was puzzled by, frankly, was the way that Quentin went about this. I think that he — I can’t blame him for walking through a bad neighborhood wearing a tight dress, but he acted in a way that I would have at least counseled him to not do.

John: He did seem to be very casual about sending this script to these people with the expectation that it wouldn’t get out past them, which if you think about his previous scripts have leaked out. So, you would think he would approach this with, I don’t know, a little bit more caution. I mean, you’d think he would have them come to his house to read it, for example.

Craig: That’s right. And maybe it’s just that he — because he’s Quentin Tarantino, you know, he doesn’t know that he’s Quentin Tarantino. But if I were with him I would say, “Oh my god, you have to understand something: people would knife their brother or sister to get your scripts because people are that obsessed with it.”

John: That would actually be a great job for somebody, sort of like following Quentin Tarantino around saying, “No, you’re Quentin Tarantino. You shouldn’t do that.”

Craig: “Yeah, I’m sorry Quentin. You forgot again that you’re Quentin Tarantino.”

John: Right. That’s what you should do.

Craig: By the way, I would do it right now. If Quentin Tarantino said you can follow around all day long, I mean, I am so fascinated by him as a filmmaker. He’s probably my favorite filmmaker.

John: Well, I do recall that probably the first script I ever really truly loved was Quentin’s script for Natural Born Killers.

Craig: I read that script. It’s awesome.

John: Which wasn’t really the movie that they made, but it was the original script. And I was at USC at the time and I remember one night getting the script, reading the script, and getting to the last page and then just flipping back to page one and reading it all over again. It’s the first script I did that with because it was just so good.

Craig: And he gets away with stuff that we can’t all get — I mean, he just does things that we’re not allowed to do. He’s the best.

John: All right. We have a question from Paul. He writes, “I am a Brooklyn based filmmaker.”

Craig: [New York accent] Hey what’s up, Paul? How ya doin’?

John: “And I enjoy your show greatly which is why I wouldn’t have guessed that I would ever take umbrage at your remarks, but umbrage I have taken. In your show Women in Pilots you and Craig commented numerous time about the way kids can mess with your career. Craig even went so far as to say they prevented him from becoming a director.

“In past shows you’ve talked about how kids halt many writer’s careers and success in the industry. As a married filmmaker considering having kids these remarks are more than disconcerting. You and Craig provide too strong of an anti-kid argument for parents who clearly both revel in the joys of a family. This feels like a ‘do as a I say not as I do’ bit of wisdom. I know successful filmmakers who have families and who are permanently single. And while the responsibilities of family can be extremely difficult to manage, I don’t believe a filmmaker’s success is harmed by his or her obligations to children. I think it’s totally specific to the individual.”

Craig: I…where to begin.

John: I know.

Craig: I mean, well, my initial reaction is, Paul, I can absolutely do anything I want professionally and remain the father to my children. It’s just I’m not sure I’m doing the father to them that I want to do. So, it’s a choice. I’m just making a choice. I’m not saying don’t have kids.

First of all, family should be your priority anyway. [laughs] It’s more important to make human beings and love them to, I don’t know, get a job making a film. It’s a movie. I love movies, but they’re not people.

John: This reminds me of another podcast I was listening to this week, the Planet Money podcast. And they had this economist on who writes about love and sort of the choices people make in romantic relationships. And I think the specific bit of advice was about this guy who had written in who was polyamorous. And he’s saying, “I have three lovers and people never write about this stuff and so what do you think the economic consequences of this are?”

And the economist was very smart in saying you may have bountiful love. Your love may be endless. But your time is not endless. And your ability to be with people is not endless. And so no matter what you do you are making some choices about how you are spending your time and how you are spending your emotional energy.

And that, I think, is really what we get into with Paul’s question is that, yes, you can have a terrific filmmaking career. You can have a terrific family. But to try to put energy in both places equally, there’s only a certain number of hours in a day. There’s only so much you.

And so everything is choices and you’re making a choice between how you’re going to allot your time. And having kids may cause you to allot your time differently. And that’s, I think, just the nature of the beast.

Craig: That’s right. And, Paul, don’t misinterpret my snarky attitude. I don’t blame my children for the choices I make. I make my choices for my children. I love my kids. My wife and my kids come first. I have turned things down, repeatedly, because I thought that it would be bad.

And, by the way, I’ve also made mistakes. I’ve talked a lot about how when my son was two I went to Vancouver and I was there for about six months. And I would go back and forth. There was a stretch of about three months where I was gone. And I came home and he looked different. And it was terrifying to me.

I was talking to this to Alec Berg was actually talking about this the other day when he went off to make — he made EuroTrip. And his daughter had just been born. Had just been born. And he got back from Prague and even though she was a baby and babies don’t necessarily — when you say like, oh, a baby doesn’t recognize me, she didn’t recognize him. His own baby didn’t recognize him. It was like a soldier coming back, you know, it was terrible.

So, Paul, I don’t blame my kids for these things. I make my choices because of my kids. I love my children. And if you love children, too, have some.

John: I will also say that these are the kinds of choices that comes at every filmmaker at every point in his or her career. So, in an early incarnation of Big Fish, Steven Spielberg was attached to direct it. And so it was to the point where we were talking about when we would actually make the movie and Steven said, “Well, I want to do it during the summer so I can be with my kids.” And this is Steven Spielberg and these are the choices he’s making. He’s a director who can make any movie, but some of the choices he’s making are because this is when his kids are going to be out of school and can join him on a set.

So, it’s not just an aspiring screenwriter thing or an aspiring director thing. At every level in the filmmaking world you’re going to be making some of these choices.

Craig: Well answered.

John: Next question comes from Liz in Chicago. She writes, “I’m a filmmaker working on developing a script for a tech-inspired story involving the themes of network and cloud storage, digital storage and security, and big data analysis. The problem is I’m expert in none of these fields and want to understand the real technology behind some of these things so that the story holds some weight in terms of relative accuracy.

“How would you go about finding a trustworthy adviser in the technology field to run the viability of plot elements by?”

Craig: That’s a really good question. I don’t know if we’ve ever had a big research episode.

John: I love research.

Craig: Me too. Beats writing, doesn’t it? [laughs] Most of the movies I’ve done haven’t required a ton of research. Identity Thief was the first one where I had to do a lot of research. And the answer to your question, Liz, is you call up a company that does what you are talking about and you tell them you’re writing a movie and you would love to talk to them. And oh my god do they want to talk to you.

And if you have to sign a non-disclosure agreement or something about trade secrets or things, but just expertise. You know, I went over to Beverly Hills and I sat down with the detective that runs their identity fraud division and he talked to me for two hours.

I remember he said at the end, because he hates identity thieves as you can imagine. He hates them.

John: He figured out that she was the hero.

Craig: Well, he didn’t. But as he was leaving he turned and he said, “By the way, what happens to the identify thief in your movie?” And I said, “She’s going to end up in jail.” And he said, “She should die.”

John: [laughs]

Craig: And he wasn’t kidding at all. It was like I laughed and then I realized, oh my god, he wants her to die.

John: It would have been a very different movie. I’m glad you didn’t follow his advice. Now, I agree with Craig’s overall advice about reaching out to people but I would say reach out to a specific person.

And so a project that I’m working on I needed to find people who had a very specific disease, or a very specific sort of situation. And they were hard to track down. Fortunately I was able to find an organization, a charity that works with people who have this condition, and I could reach out to them. And so online I could figure out there was a group in LA that did this. I could figure out who the people were I needed to talk to. I could email them directly and say what I wanted to do. Could they get on the phone with me? And they were wonderful.

Because I was talking to an individual. I think if I just called up blindly it would have been very hard, but since I could target an individual person it worked out really, really well.

And, again, people do want to help you, especially if you’re making a movie. I guess I could have dropped some credits, but I don’t really think that was the reason they were talking to me. They just want to actually see the stuff they do portrayed correctly. And that’s more than anything they want to see is they want to be able to talk about their jobs and see their jobs reflected accurately in the movies.

Craig: People get fussy. And they don’t even need you to be a fancy screenwriter. Everybody loves to talk about what they do. Do you know how frequently somebody that is a big data management cloud storage specialist gets to talk about what he does with someone who cares? Never.

They start talking at a party and people are like, “Ugh….” You’re listening. They get very excited. So, you find that person. They’re going to be very happy to talk to you.

But also make sure you do your homework on your own. Don’t show up and ask dumb questions. Read a few books so that you’re not wasting their time and your time by not asking really good questions that only they could answer.

John: Last bit of advice for Liz. Remember that you will become a sort of expert in this because you will learn all these things about data and such, but your audience won’t be. And your audience doesn’t need to be. Your audience needs you to be the person who interprets all that expert information and gives them just enough so they can follow your story.

So, I want you to be David Koepp in Jurassic Park. I want you to create that clever moment that explains how you clone dinosaurs and let’s just get on with our story.

Craig: “What would Koepp do?” I’ve got a bracelet that says that.

John: All right. This is from Zack. “My sister and I are writing partners from Steubenville, Ohio. We’ve been repped on our first script but it was passed on by all the studios it was sent to. Since then we’ve written another script that was considered by a WME agent, giving us notes on two separate drafts. After our last draft we never heard back from him, so we sent to CAA. They liked it and gave us more notes. We completed them and they said the script was ‘unique and enthralling read, but it wasn’t strong enough to represent.’

“My question to you is this: What the hell do we do next? While the script may not be good enough for them, should we spend our time working on the query letters to hopefully get another agency to bite, or should we scrap that idea and focus our time on writing another script? My biggest fear in this industry is that we have a great script that we just weren’t successfully getting to the right person. Maybe that’s me being overconfident, but by killing myself on the page for the last four years, that idea is what gives me hope to keep writing.

“As a seasoned writer I hope you can understand the struggle we’re going through and hope you can give us no more than a few words of advice to get us through these tough times.”

Craig: Well, I always worry when agencies are giving notes to people. Agents have no — I mean, I love my agent. I love my agency. Agents are not in that job. They’re in the job of negotiating business deals. They don’t know what makes a script good, nor do they know what makes a script sell. They only know what make a script sell.

So, they’re always looking backwards at what just happened and then they get new material and say, “Well, does that fit the pattern I watched?” But that’s not how the actual business works, because the actual business is a disruptive business where suddenly Diablo Cody writes Juno and that’s not at all what came before it, but somebody falls in love with it.

So, my advice to you would be consider maybe a service like the Black List where the script would be read not by agents but by people who are more creatively minded. And, remember, all you need is the one.

John: Blcklst.com is certainly a choice. Or, Austin Film Festival, or Nicholl Fellowship, any of the really meaningful screenwriting competitions. Those could be good ways to send your script out there in the world.

But I think the more important thing I would stress to you is that you have one script and I’m sure it’s terrific, but agents are reading this and they’re trying to base their entire opinion on one script. If you had more for them to read with different kinds of scripts they would have a better sense of who you are as a writer. So, while, yes, don’t abandon this project, I think you need to sort of keep writing new stuff and sort of expand your portfolio of awesome.

Craig: Well, and particularly relevant if you are talking to agencies. Because they’re not looking for screenplays, they’re looking for clients.

John: They’re looking for writers who sell things.

Craig: Exactly. And so if you have that one script and that’s the only one you’re ever going to write, and there have been quite a few people, one-hit wonders like that, then you’re less attractive to an agency. They’re going to make 10 percent off of you one time.

John: Our last question comes from Timothy. “Assuming you have a spec script that everybody loves, and assuming you want to direct your own script, is it appropriate to attach a line on your title page that says something to the effect of ‘Writer Attached to Direct.’ If not, how do you go about selling a script as a writer-director?”

Craig: Yeah, you don’t want to say anything on the title page other than the title and who wrote it and the date.

John: Your email address.

Craig: Email address. Yeah. The idea being that if somebody is truly interested in the screenplay you now have leverage. And you tell them I want to direct this screenplay. At which point they’re all going to try and convince you not to. And here’s the fun part: There are a ton of stories where people said no, I must direct it.

John: Richard Kelly on our podcast.

Craig: Correct. And many of those stories fork off into Richard Kelly-ville where they do a great job and they become directors. Many fork off into — they forked off…[laughs].

John: Boondock Saints.

Craig: They got forked off, yeah, into movies where you think, “Oh, you probably should not have directed that and I can’t believe that you forced yourself on when look who could have directed it, this person, this person, this person.”

And, god, that’s the problem. You need a crystal ball there, don’t you.

John: Craig, this was a jam-packed full show.

Craig: This may have been the best show we’ve ever done.

John: I have a One Cool Thing. Do you have a One Cool Thing?

Craig: I do have a One Cool Thing. It’s very, very brief.

John: Mine is brief, too. So, every year the City of Los Angeles does this thing called Ciclavia. And if you don’t know what Ciclavia is, it’s kind of awesome and amazing. What LA does is they shut down certain streets on a Sunday an people can go ride their bikes or walk on these streets. And so streets that are normally only car traffic are suddenly pedestrian friendly or bicycle friendly.

Craig: “Get on your box and ride!”

John: The next Ciclavia is April 6. It’s down Wilshire Boulevard from downtown to about LACMA, and it’s just great. And so if you are in Central Los Angeles or if you are going to be able to come to Central Los Angeles, it’s just kind of amazing to be able to see the city in a very different way. So, we’ll put a link to the Ciclavia site so you can see what the roots are and stuff.

Yes, it messes up traffic a little bit, but it’s so worth it to see everyone out in the street enjoying a beautiful spring day.

Craig: That sounds awesome. Very briefly my One Cool Thing this week is @chuckpalahniuk. Chuck Palahniuk, the author of Fight Club, brilliant writer, and one of our listeners and Twitter followers sent me something that he had posted that somebody else wrote about writing. And I thought it was really good. And then he posted something else that somebody wrote about writing that I also thought was really good that was specifically about screenwriting.

And then he posted something he wrote about writing. And all of it, in one day Chuck Palahniuk posted three things about writing that I thought all of them were terrific. So, this is a, I mean, aside from the fact that he’s a terrific writer, that is a Twitter account well worth following if you are a listener of this podcast.

John: Now, Craig, did you click through to his Twitter bio?

Craig: No.

John: Because if you did you’d see that it’s actually not Chuck Palahniuk necessarily tweeting. It’s actually run by the guy who runs his site, a guy named Dennis Widmyer.

Craig: I don’t need the actual Chuck. Whoever that guy is, he is posting great stuff. Who runs my Twitter account?

John: [laughs]

Craig: I’ve got 40 people. I’ve got 40 people running my Twitter account.

Please, for the love of god, if you’ve listened to this episode and maybe you just disagreed completely with what those guys said or are doing, don’t be jerks. Let me be king jerk and stay under my jerk level, because I’m not even that jerky. That’s the truth. Hey, don’t go beyond me. That would just be disgusting.

Links:

  • Final Draft
  • Scriptnotes 126: Punching the Salty Ocean
  • John’s post on Final Draft, software and people
  • Deadline: WGA Claims AMPTP Wants Big Pension & Health Contribution Cuts In New Contract
  • LA Times on Quentin Tarantino’s Gawker suit
  • Ciclavia
  • @chuckpalahniuk
  • Outro by Scriptnotes listener Jakob Freudenthal

Scriptnotes, Ep 127: Women and Pilots — Transcript

January 24, 2014 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2014/women-and-pilots).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Scriptnotes, Episode 127. The Female Directors at Pilot Season episode of Scriptnotes.

**Craig:** — Thrones.

**John:** Thrones. A podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Craig, this was a very big week for you. You had a life-changing experience from what I understand.

**Craig:** I did. This past Sunday for the first time ever I played essentially Dungeons & Dragons. Now, let me back up for a second. When I was a kid I played a Marvel Universe role-playing game, so I don’t want anyone to think I’m not a total dork. I am.

**John:** Rest assured, I think everyone understood that you’re a total dork.

**Craig:** There might have been one person out there who is still wondering, and they’re probably such a dork that they didn’t realize. I also played Top Secret, which was sort of a spy-based role-playing game, but I never played full-on “here comes a Cobalt” Dungeons & Dragons.

So, here’s who I’m playing with. I’m playing with Phil Hay, who has Ride Along coming out this weekend that he co-wrote with Matt Manfredi, this weekend meaning when we’re recording and will be out by the time you guys — and it’ll be a bit hit, which is awesome; Michael Gilvary who writes on the excellent show, Chicago Fire; Malcolm Spellman, a great screenwriter of note who has worked on a whole bunch of different movies; and Chris Morgan who is the auteur of the Fast & Furious franchise.

**John:** The good Fast & the Furious ones. Not the Derek Haas incarnation.

**Craig:** Not the Haas and Brandt ridiculous second movie.

**John:** Absolutely. We’re talking 3, 4, and 5. We’re talking quality.

**Craig:** Yeah, the one that everyone calls The Mistake.

**John:** So, these are a lot of like A, or high-level screenwriters.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** All playing Dungeons & Dragons together.

**Craig:** Right. And it’s great, because we’re screenwriters we’re pretty decent at sort of coming up with story. We’re weighed down a little bit by the dungeon master. The Dungeon Master, John August.

**John:** So, I DMd my first game in about 30 years, which was fun to have all these players here in my house to do this. We actually played Dungeon World which was a listener’s suggestion.

And so Dungeon World is a very stripped down version of kind of Dungeons & Dragons that really focuses on the storytelling. And you guys had to contribute a lot more to the narrative than you would normally have to do in classic Dungeons & Dragons.

**Craig:** Which I liked. I actually liked that. I mean, the rule book is — you can read the rule book in about 20 minutes as opposed to Dungeons & Dragons which I think requires an eight-year course.

**John:** It’s a commitment, yes.

**Craig:** Yeah. So, it went fast. You create your character really quickly and easily. And we had a great time. You were a very good Dungeon Master.

**John:** Thank you very much.

**Craig:** And we are very, very excited to get back in there and finish the business at hand.

**John:** Yes. Now, listeners at home are probably wondering what character was Craig Mazin playing. Because Craig, he could be a knight, a pilot and a champion sticking up for one point of order.

**Craig:** Or beyond that.

**John:** I was thinking a wizard of some kind with a sort of secret agenda.

**Craig:** Mm.

**John:** But what were you, Craig?

**Craig:** A thief. I am a thief. I’m a dirty, dirty thief. I’m a paranoid. I’m not particularly nice. I’m constantly making fun of the people that I’m with. And —

**John:** I also remember you’re running scams on your own party. That was a —

**Craig:** [laughs] That’s the other thing. Like I worked out a deal because my character is physically not particularly impressive, so he worked out a deal with the strongest member of our party that that guy would kind of have my back. And when I collect gold from things that I would siphon away 10 percent of it and split that between me and him, and the rest would be… — So, I’m cheating. I’m really —

**John:** You were basically the manager of this whole group. Basically you were siphoning off some money. You got a percentage for things you didn’t really earn.

**Craig:** I’m the Littlefinger. I’m the Varys of this group.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** That is relevant.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** How about that segue.

**John:** That’s an incredibly relevant thing because our guest this week — so our topics this week, we want to talk about this article that a bunch of people tweeted at us. It sort of went viral this week. This article that Lexi Alexander had written about being a female director in Hollywood.

**Craig:** Yup.

**John:** We also want to talk about the end of pilot season, which is a thing that Fox is proposing.

**Craig:** Again.

**John:** So, we needed to find a guest who could talk to us about female directors, could talk to us about television. We needed somebody to talk to us about Craig’s Littlefinger problem.

**Craig:** [laughs] So gross.

**John:** [laughs] Yes.

**Carolyn Strauss:** Venn diagram.

**John:** This Carolyn Strauss.

**Craig:** Carolyn Strauss everyone! Woo!

**John:** Carolyn Strauss, former president of HBO.

**Carolyn:** Entertainment.

**John:** HBO Entertainment. A producer in her own right. A producer on Game of Thrones.

**Craig:** The producer of Game of Thrones, I would say.

**Carolyn:** No, no, no, no, no.

**Craig:** I think so.

**Carolyn:** No, no, no.

**Craig:** That’s the way I think of you.

**Carolyn:** Oh, thank you, Craig.

**Craig:** You’re welcome.

**John:** Aw.

**Carolyn:** I’m still recovering from the dorkiness of this conversation.

**John:** It was a pretty hardcore dorky. She’s never listened to the show —

**Carolyn:** Which is perfect for Game of Thrones.

**John:** Absolutely.

**Craig:** Right. Exactly.

**John:** Yes. So, you’ve never actually listened to our podcast, so you have no idea how this all works.

**Carolyn:** No I don’t.

**John:** There’s no quizzes. There’s no nothing. We just talk about stuff.

**Carolyn:** I’m scared.

**John:** Don’t be scared at all.

**Craig:** Don’t be scared. You’re scared? Don’t be scared.

**Carolyn:** I’m scared.

**Craig:** Don’t be scared.

**John:** So, some backstory on you. I know you from television. I know you from HBO. Did you work in broadcast television before that, or have you been sort of the premium from the start?

**Carolyn:** I started in HBO as a temp in New York and I just clawed my way.

**Craig:** Littlefinger.

**Carolyn:** Yeah. Exactly.

**Craig:** Varys. I love that. I actually think it’s kind of cool that you have managed to insulate yourself entirely from whatever is going on in network. It seems like it’s just a clown party over there at times.

**Carolyn:** It’s definitely different. And I’ve been very relieved that I don’t have to dabble in that too much. We did have a couple of forays at HBO where we produced shows for network, but…

**John:** What shows did you produce for network? I don’t remember that happening.

**Carolyn:** Perhaps you remember a little show called Martin.

**Craig:** Martin!

**Carolyn:** Oh my god, that’s a big show.

**Carolyn:** Or Down the Shore.

**John:** I don’t remember Down the Shore at all.

**Craig:** I totally remember Down the Shore because when I came out here the first jobs I was trying to get were in sitcoms. And Down the Shore was a Fox show, I want to say.

**Carolyn:** It was a Fox show.

**Craig:** It was a Fox show and it was like ’92, ’93, somewhere in that zone?

**Carolyn:** Uh-huh.

**Craig:** And I was actually trying to get on that show. And so somebody invited me to go watch a taping of it and I was sitting there thinking, “Oh my god, I would love to get a job on the show. I do not like the show.” [laughs] “Boy, I would love to get this job!”

**Carolyn:** But the one show that was the big, big show for HBO Productions was Everybody Loves Raymond. That was —

**John:** Well, that’s a pretty successful show.

**Craig:** Boy.

**John:** I’ve heard of that show.

**Craig:** HBO is just making money hand over fist.

**Carolyn:** Fist over hand.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Fist over hand.

**John:** Yeah. And now they’ve got the little HBO Go app.

**Craig:** They’ve got the Go thing.

**Carolyn:** Which I still can’t figure out how to get. I have never — [crosstalk]

**Craig:** This, by the way, is why Game of Thrones is the most pirated program in the world.

**Carolyn:** Exactly.

**John:** Because Carolyn Strauss can’t get it to work on her iPad.

**Craig:** Well, if Carolyn and her mom can’t figure it out, what are the odds that anyone else can?

**John:** Well, let’s figure out the problems we can solve, because these are really simple, easily solved problems to just deal with in this one hour of our show.

**Craig:** That you’re going to solve for us.

**John:** And that’s why we brought you on —

**Carolyn:** We’re going to solve it together. Teamwork.

**John:** Well, yeah, we’ll basically listen to you solve it.

**Carolyn:** I’m a collaborator.

**John:** We’ll fill in the punctuation as you solve the problem for us.

So, women directors in Hollywood are underrepresented. And that’s sort of like an — you can’t really contest that.

**Carolyn:** Fact.

**Craig:** It’s a fact.

**John:** There’s no way — and we’ve talked about this a couple times on the show is that more than 50 percent of film school graduates are women. And yet you look at feature films, you look at network television, you look at any television, women are vastly underrepresented in those ranks of director.

**Craig:** Sub 10 percent, right?

**John:** Yes. And among writers it’s less but it’s not as bad as it seems to be among directors. That’s not a new phenomenon. It seems to have always been that kind of phenomenon. This last week —

**Carolyn:** Although it depends where you’re looking for your writers. I mean, I think if you’re looking on the TV staffs you will probably find fewer, or there may be more. I actually don’t know. It would seem to me there would be less represented on TV staffs.

**Craig:** It’s not good on TV staffs. It’s not good.

**Carolyn:** I don’t know.

**Craig:** The numbers aren’t good anywhere.

**Carolyn:** And screenwriter’s numbers aren’t fantastic either.

**John:** Yeah. So, this last week Lexi Alexander who is a director in her own right —

**Carolyn:** I’m not going to disagree with a thing she said, though, because she’s like a kickboxing champion.

**John:** Absolutely. So, by the way, we should stress from the very start —

**Craig:** I’m going to disagree with a couple of things, but I will just get —

**Carolyn:** You’re going to get the shit kicked out of you.

**Craig:** I’ll just get my box kicked.

**John:** [laughs] So, Lexi Alexander, who in addition to being a kick-boxer is also a director and has directed several feature films, directed an Oscar-nominated, I think it was a short, but she wrote a blog post that sort of went viral and passed around this last week about female directors and the underrepresentation.

And so a couple little quotes from there. She writes, “There is no lack of female directors. Repeat after me: There is no lack of female directors. But there is a huge lack of people willing to give female directors opportunities. I swear if one person even so much as whispers the sentence, ‘Women probably don’t want to direct,’ my fist will fly as reflex action.”

**Carolyn:** See, it was funny, because that was the one — one thing that she said — I’ve never heard anybody say that ever that women don’t want to.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Carolyn:** I think there’s subterranean, I think misogyny is the wrong word, but discrimination. But I’ve never heard it so forthright, “Women don’t want to…”

**Craig:** Yeah, I’ve never heard that either.

**Carolyn:** No one’s — I haven’t come across anybody who’s that stupid really.

**John:** But I think subterranean is a fascinating way to phrase that because there are these things that you think about that you don’t actually say and they may influence your decision making based on like, “Well, she probably doesn’t really want to direct.” So, maybe that guy who was a good writer, who you’d say, oh, he probably wants to step up and direct, you may not say that same thing about a woman who could be next up to direct.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**John:** That’s a thing you could be thinking without actually saying it.

**Carolyn:** I think there are a lot of unspoken things that people think. And whether —

**Craig:** Let’s speak them. Let’s say them.

**Carolyn:** I’m not going to say them.

**Craig:** Darn.

**Carolyn:** I’m not in the fellow’s head, but I think there are definitely instances, I think, where women are looked at as first woman and then everything else. And I think that’s true of most — black directors. Black, then everything else. Gay, then everything else. I mean, it’s sort of the nature of people that they categorize things that way. But, I’ve never heard anybody say that. I mean, I think to me what she was talking about, which I thought was interesting, is basically let’s just be honest about what the situation is. Let’s not —

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Carolyn:** And then at the same time she’s saying, “I don’t want to be a part of quota,” so then you’re basically just saying, “I want people to change.” And can they change without forcing them to change?

**Craig:** John and I were talking how she kind of runs ashore of this strange kind of contradiction at the end of her piece where she says, “This is really hard. No one has figured out how to solve this.”

**Carolyn:** Except for Sweden.

**Craig:** Except for Sweden. And why is no one trying to figure out how to solve this. And that’s part of the problem.

**John:** What she’s pointing to is that it feels like it’s an institutional problem. That it feels like overall we’re not hiring enough women. There’s something broken with the system that we’re not hiring enough women. The challenge I see with Hollywood is that it’s not really kind of a system in the way that other things are a system. It’s not like a corporation.

**Carolyn:** Yeah. It’s not quantifiable. It’s all based on opinions. It’s not like — there’s no facts involved, like this one is better than that one. I like this one better than I like that one, but that’s not, you know, that’s just an opinion.

**Craig:** Just an opinion. Doesn’t work.

**John:** After the fact you can say, look at the last 30 movies and say, well, only one of those was directed by a woman. But it’s not like you’re making a slate of movies. It’s not like you’re lining up all your directors for the next 30 projects and saying like, “These are going to be the directors for the next ones we’re going to do.”

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And then you would see that, “Oh my god, they’re only white men that we’re hiring here!” But instead what we’re doing is we hire directors one at a time. You are asking the question, who is the right director for this project?

And that’s where I think her logic is tripped up, because I think you could argue there is a lack of female directors because there’s a lack of female directors who say like that’s the right person to direct that movie. And so it’s the lack of those possible choices.

**Carolyn:** But also is it that women get categorized as a certain kind of director. Oh, this is more of an emotional, touchy feely director.

**Craig:** No question.

**Carolyn:** It’s not the one that we want for Fast & Furious, Good, Bad or Indifferent Fast & Furious. You know, so, they can’t — a chick could never handle that. I mean, I look at — I observe women directors working and I would say for sure that there is a different attitude towards crew, which is almost —

**Craig:** You mean towards the crew, or the crew’s attitude towards the director?

**Carolyn:** Crew’s attitudes toward the director.

**Craig:** Right.

**Carolyn:** I mean, every once and awhile it doesn’t happen, but they’re much tougher on female directors.

**John:** So, what’s an example of a behavior you would see from a crew towards a female director? Is it when she’s asking for the four extra takes and — ?

**Carolyn:** Yeah. It’s impatience. It’s snappishness. It’s assuming they don’t know what they’re talking about. Whereas the same question or whatever done by a man who might be — have the same personality of that woman would be received entirely different.

**Craig:** See, this to me — so much of the problem is one of a perpetuation. Because at least in features, usually when we’re talking about larger features when they’re asking who should direct this they’re looking for somebody with a lot of experience. If they don’t have a lot of experience directing feature films then hopefully they have a lot of experience directing commercials.

And so it becomes a feedback loop.

**Carolyn:** Yeah, exactly. And who’s going to get that experience? Well, someone who you keep hiring.

**Craig:** Right.

**Carolyn:** A director that we had dinner with the other night, you and I, who I won’t name, but had a pretty successful movie this year.

**Craig:** Very successful.

**Carolyn:** I was sort of shocked by her saying at dinner that she has had no work come off that movie. And —

**Craig:** Well, I’m not as shocked by that in the sense that there are certain directors, and I think she falls into this category, that are sort of genres onto themselves. And, frankly, don’t — the movies that they make aren’t commercially lighting the world on fire.

**Carolyn:** Yeah, I think that’s true. But I think in that movie’s niche it did pretty well.

**Craig:** It did.

**Carolyn:** And I think that — I’ll just say it — I think a man who made that movie would have —

**Craig:** More heat.

**Carolyn:** There would be meetings up the wazoo, you know, because it’s a yakked about film.

**Craig:** Okay, so here’s my question. And this is something John and I have talked about.

**Carolyn:** Whether they get work off it, I don’t know, but they certainly have a lot of meetings.

**Craig:** We’ve often commented that one of the strangenesses of this situation is that there’s not a lack of women in charge of the decisions.

**Carolyn:** True.

**Craig:** I mean, when you look at who’s — Sue Kroll sits on the green light committee at Warner Bros. Amy Pascal has run Sony forever.

**Carolyn:** Women are not always women’s best friends.

**John:** Donna Langley.

**Craig:** Donna Langley at Universal. Emma at Fox.

**John:** Let’s talk about that. You can say that.

**Carolyn:** She mentions that in the article.

**John:** Yeah. And you can say that. so, talk to us about that, because it would seem from the outside if you look, “Oh, it must be all white men running the studios and that’s why they’re only hiring white men.”

**Craig:** It’s actually white women running the studios, kind of.

**John:** So, do you think that’s a truth?

**Carolyn:** Personally I would never hire a woman director. Let me just say that. Flat out. Writer-director, what have you.

**John:** [laughs]

**Craig:** [laughs] Right. Only Jewish men between 40 and 60.

**Carolyn:** Exactly.

**John:** So, you’ve often been in the situation where you’re figuring out who to hire for different positions. How often does the gender question come up as you’re looking at a list of candidates? Are you always looking for who are some women who would be great for this spot? Or is always based on who is the right person to direct this?

**Carolyn:** Well, I mean, generally it’s who is the right person to direct it. If we have the ability to fold a woman director into that, I think that’s great. You know, I think, for instance on Game of Thrones the last two seasons we’ve had Michelle MacLaren direct who is amazing and we said, okay, let’s try and find a woman director, because we’ve had all these guys directing. But it wasn’t like we compromised on this, that, or the other thing. We knew that she total fit our profile. It wasn’t like we got to say, “Okay, we’re affirmative actioning you into the director slot.”

**John:** But was there a discussion at some point that we’ve not had a woman director. We want to have a woman director. Was that a discussion — ?

**Carolyn:** Yes.

**John:** And so you actually had to have that discussion.

**Carolyn:** Well, I think you have to push, simply by the numbers. There are a million directors that come up in front of you. I would say a small fraction of them are female. It’s not like there are tons of women directors that get pitched to you every day.

**Craig:** Yeah. I always feel like the best of these kinds of things is to be aware of a positive intention to employ people that don’t look like everybody else. But to then sort of, to have that at the top layer and then forget about it when you’re looking at individuals, because you don’t want to hire — and I know the TV staffs struggle with this all the time. They are required to hire say a certain number of people of color for their staff.

And those writers who come on are aware that they’re now the diversity hire. And the room knows that they’re the diversity hire. And it’s a problem.

**Carolyn:** But, that is partially a problem, but what’s the worst problem I guess in a way which is there are no writers of color out there. And I think sometimes unless you push it in that way people aren’t given the opportunity.

**Craig:** I agree.

**Carolyn:** Or they get to write on the black shows, or, you know.

**Craig:** You want there to be a philosophical alignment to say we are dedicated to the idea of being conscious enough that we don’t just fall into the rut of what’s the path of least resistance.

However, sometimes the solutions, and she points this out here, come with the law of unintended consequences. I mean, for instance, I know at the Writers Guild every year they spend $70,000 or so to do a diversity survey. So, we spend $70,000 of writers’ dues, and I always like to do the reverse math on that to see, okay, how much — our dues are 1.5 percent. So, how much money did writers have to earn to generate the $70,000 to spend on a report that will tell us what we already knew, what we knew last year, and the year before, and the year before, because the numbers don’t change.

**Carolyn:** Right.

**Craig:** And what I think something really important that she brings up, that Lexi brings up in her thing, is can we can out of just the patting yourselves on the back/window dressing/baloney solutions that go along with this stuff. They’re not working.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Let’s stop the reports. We get it. We know.

**Carolyn:** That idea of commissioning a survey to tell you what you know is —

**Craig:** Is just dumb.

**Carolyn:** Time tested and true.

**Craig:** Unfortunately I think it relieves a lot of people from, well, you know what we’re going to do, we’re going to get the survey back, we’re going to take a look at those answers, absorb them, and then we can come up with a plan. And by the time you get the survey back, you’re not doing anything, and then we’ll do another survey. [laughs]

**Carolyn:** Yeah, exactly. [laughs] It’s time.

**John:** So, let’s talk about what’s happening in the film and television industry right now, because I wonder if part of our way forward, and I do wonder if we’re sort of supply constrained. It’s not that we don’t have enough female directors. We don’t have enough great female directors that they’re obviously going to be on the list even if they weren’t women.

But I wonder if television is part of the way through it, because in television at least when you’re doing a series you are picking directors down the road. So, you can actually look at who is going to be directing these episodes and sort of recognize like, “I have no women directing these episodes. We need to make sure we get women in directing these episodes.”

Television is terrific now, so hopefully we can get more women directing these episodes and from television transfer through to features or transfer through to the other stuff they want to make.

To what degree do we also think it’s a genre situation? I do wonder if we were making romantic comedies whether our numbers would be higher. Because you see that women who are consistently employed directing features, it’s the people — it’s the Anne Fletchers who are directing romantic comedies. It’s the women who make those movies.

**Carolyn:** Nancy Meyers.

**John:** Yeah, Nancy Meyers.

**Craig:** Exactly.

**Carolyn:** Yeah, I mean, I think that’s true. But I think there are also women who have sort of gone out of their way, whether it’s Kathryn Bigelow or whatever to say most affirmatively that’s not what I do.

**John:** Exactly.

**Carolyn:** “I do something…” And I think for, you know, Kathryn Bigelow has kind of got to keep doing that because otherwise she’s going to slip into doing girlie shit and no one is going to…

**Craig:** Right.

**Carolyn:** You know, she’s going to…[crosstalk]

**Craig:** That’s a pretty decent title for a movie.

**John:** Girlie Shit.

**Craig:** Girlie Shit.

**Carolyn:** [laughs]

**Craig:** Kathryn Bigelow’s Girlie Shit. I would write that.

I have a theory to explain, because I think that Lexi is correct that there’s not a shortage of women who want to direct. She may not be quite as accurate when she says there is not a shortage of women who meet the qualifications, the sort of standard for like literally let’s strip gender out and just go gender blind and look at experience, all the rest, I think that the perpetuation is.

But here’s my theory of what’s going on. There are differences between men and women. They are not manifested in how good you are at directing a movie. But, for instance, here’s a difference that I think everyone can agree on: Men are more violent than women.

**Carolyn:** For the most part.

**Craig:** That’s just — that’s a fact.

**Carolyn:** Except for Aileen Wuornos. [laughs]

**Craig:** Sure. But, you know, generally speaking men commit I think the vast majority of say murders and physical assaults. There is a —

**Carolyn:** But women think about it more. We visualize it.

**Craig:** [crosstalk] And I do, too, because I am, you know, I’m a girl.

There is, my theory is that in order get jobs in Hollywood you are literally put in a situation where you must commit moral crimes all the time. And that men frankly are less moral. They are more violent in this nature. So, if there’s a difference between men and women, it’s not how good they are at their jobs. It’s how good maybe they are maybe at getting the jobs, if that makes sense.

**Carolyn:** Well, I think that’s definitely true. I think that there’s a certain way that a woman comes off, where she was saying bitch, difficult, whatever you’re either in terms of —

**Craig:** Right.

**Carolyn:** But I think that a woman sort of coming out in a forthright, as a director, this is boom, boom, boom. These are decisions I’m going to make — and which you have to be as a director. You’re making a million decisions all the time. So, if a woman is very assertive in that way, I think more people have a negative feeling about it than a man who presents him “boom, boom, boom,” that’s great —

**Craig:** He’s a leader.

**Carolyn:** Yes. So, I think those things are, you know, women have a more delicate — they run more risk of being judged for their assertive decision making than man do.

**Craig:** And do you think that woman are more concerned about that judgment? Because it seems to me like I’ve met so many men in this business who behave terribly and don’t care. And that’s this amazing weapon they carry.

**Carolyn:** They don’t care and it doesn’t seem to matter.

**Craig:** They’re shameless. Yeah, they’re shameless.

**John:** Well, but isn’t it true like most directors you know who are successful, they’re a little bit messed up. They’re kind of on the edge of a little bit psycho killer at times.

**Craig:** Or a lot of it.

**John:** Yeah, exactly. And so the fact that they can sort of like drive crew, you know, seven hours of overtime is because they fundamentally kind of don’t have a caring about people’s comfort or safety.

**Carolyn:** There’s no empathy there.

**John:** There’s no empathy there. And that is a factor.

**Craig:** It’s like a sociopathy. There is a value to sociopathy.

**Carolyn:** It gets a lot done.

**Craig:** Well, and even forget get — like I do believe, I honestly do believe that if you take a woman and you take a man and they’re both directors and they both have similar talent levels and all the rest, they will both run a perfectly good set. It’s the sociopathy I only think helps you get the job because you’re just willing to do anything. Anything. You’d stab your friend in the back and terrible things.

**Carolyn:** I also think, and this is just a guess on my part. I have no — it’s just an instinct. That people who are picking directors and picking first-time directors, because you’ve always got to start somewhere, are probably more likely to pick a male director. I don’t know, it’s just my instinct.

**John:** I think you’re right.

**Craig:** A paternalism kind of…

**Carolyn:** Just a sense of capability and just can do it, they can pull it, yeah.

**John:** So, I think I agree with Craig that just doing the annual report where we just look at the numbers and crunch the numbers is not a useful use of our time and money, but I think what would be a fascinating study would be to take a longitudinal study of like let’s just track a bunch of men and women from early 20s through their 40s who are trying to enter the film business, who all wanting to be directors and track sort of like what their path is.

Because I suspect that what we’re going to find is the reason there are fewer women directors may partly just be because of the difference paths their lives take. And you sort of see what jobs they got, what they did, what they did, what they did.

And I just feel like something is happening in the late 20s or late 30s for women where they would be getting their first feature where they’re not getting their first feature. If we can figure out what the gap is.

**Carolyn:** Are you saying they’re making life decisions? They’re having children?

**John:** They are making life decisions. They’re having children. That’s part of it. And obviously if you’re going to have a kid that is going to slow down your directing for awhile.

**Craig:** It took me out of the directing game, I mean, to be honest.

**Carolyn:** I mean, I have certain friends of mine who are screenwriters who are very — who definitely want to direct, but do not want to do that until their kids are over the age of 14.

**John:** Yeah, we’ve talked — Aline Brosh McKenna, had the same conversation with her.

**Craig:** That’s me. I’m the same way. But, I think that that applies to men, too.

**Carolyn:** To a point.

**John:** To some degree as well.

**Craig:** Although, men again, the sociopathy factor oftentimes just don’t care about their own children.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** I’m serious. They don’t give a damn.

**Carolyn:** Well, I think, yeah, it’s a very societal, you know, “I’m going to go out. I’m going to be defined by my job,” and this and that.

**Craig:** God. I am a female director. I feel like a female director.

**Carolyn:** So, hand in your penis please. [laughs]

**Craig:** Right here?

**Carolyn:** Right here, right now.

**Craig:** John, turn around.

**John:** The other analogue for directors is really I think showrunners. Because you look at showrunners, that’s the other sort of all-consuming job, and there are women who are showrunners and that is an established thing. But that’s, again, an incredibly tough job that’s taking up 100 percent of your time. The life balance of doing that —

**Carolyn:** It’s really, really hard.

**Craig:** It’s brutal.

**John:** It’s maybe the hardest job in Hollywood is running a show.

**Craig:** Yeah, because it’s like five jobs in one.

**Carolyn:** You’re a writer, you’re a manager of an enormous amount of people.

**Craig:** You’re an employer. You are a corporate relations person. You’re a director, an editor, a producer. You’re everything.

**John:** The amount of relationships you have to be able to maintain is insane.

**Craig:** It’s sick. It’s just sick.

Well, I would love for us to be able to get to a place where we don’t have to say, “Well, Kathryn Bigelow, and well, Shonda Rhimes.” And I think we’re going to get there, but my solution — because she’s asking for solutions — my solution other than chucking the fake take is that the women who run Hollywood need to talk to each other and just say we’ve got to be aware of this, we’ve got to stop this.

It’s crazy. I think that’s where the change is going to come. Men aren’t going to change it. They’re sociopaths and we’ve already established that.

**John:** I would also say I think she perceives there as being — or, she doesn’t perceive, she actually writes that — she points to this 1978 report showing that there was a lack of equal opportunity for women in Hollywood. And she writes, “The fact that there has been no improvement in 35 years can really only mean two things. Number one, those who promised to bring about change were insincere. Or, two, those who promised to bring about change were not very smart. You choose.”

And that’s clearly a false choice.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**John:** There’s many reasons why that could happen. And the analogue that sort of came up for me is that you look at — turn back the clock 35 years and you look at sort of what we thought we’d be able to do in 35 years. And we were wrong about a lot of things. We thought we could have like man missions to Mars. And we thought we would have flying cars. And it was actually just much harder than we thought it was going to be.

**Carolyn:** There’s still, I mean, look, ERA, whatever that was in the ’80s.

**Craig:** ’70s.

**Carolyn:** No, but it fell in the ’80s.

**Craig:** It did, under Reagan, right.

**Carolyn:** But women still make a lot less than men. I mean, there’s a lot of things that — I think that’s kind of a little simple.

**Craig:** It’s a lot simple. And I’m sympathetic to her desire to blame those who paved the path to hell with good intentions.

**John:** I’m sympathetic to her frustration. Because I feel exactly what she’s feeling.

**Carolyn:** But there are a lot of institutional things, not just within Hollywood as a business, but in the world as a whole. And not just institutional things but I think life things. Because I think when you just mentioned Kathryn Bigelow and Shonda Rhimes, it strikes me as I’m thinking about it those are two women, as far as I know, do not have children.

**John:** Oh, Shonda Rhimes has kids. She has a couple kids.

**Carolyn:** She has kids? Okay, I take that back.

**John:** But she has kids on sort of her own terms and her own way.

**Craig:** Hmm. That sounds interesting.

**John:** Shonda lives up the street. We can go knock on her door and ask.

**Craig:** I’m just wondering why I didn’t have kids on my own terms and my own way. I have them apparently on their terms.

**John:** Yes. My child is very much on her own terms.

**Carolyn:** And it sounds very retro of me to say, like, kids, but I know for a fact that it influences people’s decision making in terms of where they want to go, what they want to do. This is not to diminish the institutional barriers that are in the way.

**Craig:** No, they are there. Short of people in power making a big decision, I’m not sure where the answer is. I will say that I do take hope from this: these things rarely work out linearly. It always seems to me that there is an amount of energy that’s put in just to make a slight increment and then suddenly there is an explosion.

**Carolyn:** Yeah. Well, I mean, one of the things that I think, and I could be totally wrong about this, but I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a staff, a writing staff on television, that doesn’t have a female on, that are on staff.

**Craig:** Well, yeah, but one woman —

**Carolyn:** But, I think if you dial back a few years, it would be very easy — and not that many years — it would be easy to find.

**Craig:** Yes. I agree with you on that. I think that they have been incremental changes, but that big thing that’s going to actually move things —

**Carolyn:** A seismic shift.

**Craig:** A seismic shift. I think that really is what has to happen. And that’s kind of the way these things do happen. So, I guess anybody that thinks that we’re going to — that’s why I hate the surveys. Well, if you’re looking for a three percent improvement each year, that’s not the way social change works. It just doesn’t.

**John:** Yeah. To me it’s going to be Marvel hiring a woman to direct the next Avengers. Some big things that are going to happen so you can’t say like, “Oh, it’s the little niche things.” No, this is front and center. This is the big —

**Craig:** And also studios are going to have to commit to allowing failure to occur, because they allow men to fail all the time.

**Carolyn:** Well, that’s exactly. But I think the problem with the whole thing is that women have to be a million times, you know, they have to be sort of bulletproof.

**Craig:** You’re not allowed to — if you failed, well, we tried that woman thing.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That’s just a disaster. Well, speaking of disasters.

**John:** [laughs] Speaking of disasters, so another thing that happened this week, Fox announced — this is at the Television Critics Association, TCA, that’s what it stands for?

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**John:** Announced that, they were talking about their new shows, and Kevin Reilly, the head of Fox Broadcasting, said that Fox is going to be moving out of the idea of pilot season.

**Carolyn:** Not the fact of it, but the idea of it. [laughs]

**John:** The idea of it. Like the whole idea of it, of pilot season is gone. And this wasn’t the first time someone said something like this in the sense of like we’re going to try to do year-round development is a thing you’ve heard for a very long time.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** But this was probably the most clear articulation of a plan to not sort of play the pilot season game.

**Craig:** To make pilots, but not to just schedule them all at the same time.

**Carolyn:** Well, actually he said they were going to try and not make pilots so much, sort of based on backup scripts and —

**Craig:** Go one-to-one.

**John:** And you’re a perfect guest for this because you come from the cable world which is sort of more like this, where you — rather than shooting a bunch of pilots you’re very specifically targeting like this is a series I think we’re going to make. And what I perceive to be the HBO model is we think we’re going to make this show. We are going to shoot a pilot for it. We’re going to look at this pilot. And if we like this pilot, this will be a show that we make. But it’s not that you’re making 15 pilots in one month —

**Carolyn:** And saying, okay, we can pick four. Yeah, we did that once in a blue moon, you know, like years — like Dream On and all that. There was a couple, like Rita Rudner and Dwight Yoakam had a show at the same time and Dream On got picked. You know, that kind of thing.

**John:** Oh, Dream On.

**Craig:** I want to live in a day when Rita Rudner and Dwight Yoakam both have shows going head to head.

**Carolyn:** Right. [laughs]

**Craig:** I want that now.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I want them on the same show.

**Carolyn:** That’s magic.

**John:** They would show up tomorrow. Write that show, they’ll show up tomorrow.

**Carolyn:** I think they would.

**Craig:** So good.

**John:** They’re coming from Vegas.

**Craig:** So, these guys, basically they’re looking at the way you guys are doing things and they’re looking at how successful you are creatively. And I think they’re feeling the heat. They know that their system — the question isn’t whether their system works. Everybody knows the system doesn’t work for everyone at all. The only question is this the best of all the terrible choices we have of how to do network programming?

**Carolyn:** Yeah. You know, it’s interesting. Well, I think Fox in a way has an easier time probably doing it than the rest of the networks because they program fewer hours.

**Craig:** Fewer hours.

**Carolyn:** So, that’s — I think HBO has one night of programming. Every once and awhile they have two. So, I think the window is very small. And you don’t have to really sort of scattershot to try and fill it.

**Craig:** Right.

**Carolyn:** So, that’s definitely an advantage. I have always — what’s interesting to me is his thing about moving away from the pilot. I’m a big believer in a pilot. I think that every time I’ve worked on something where we haven’t done it, you need to take a break, you need to look at everything. Whether or not you actually call it a pilot or you shoot something and then take a little breath, to be able to look at something and say, “Yes, this is something I want to make a five-year commitment” or whatever, that’s really helpful to be able to go back and say, “Well, that’s not really working.”

**Craig:** But his whole thing is that by — he seems to be committed to pilots, but that by doing it in one season they’re essentially restricting —

**Carolyn:** He’s talking about going direct to series, though.

**John:** He’s talking both things, yeah.

**Craig:** Yeah, I guess that’s true.

**John:** So, let’s first talk about the idea of moving out of pilot season, because having developed a couple of network shows, this is incredibly appealing.

**Carolyn:** Totally.

**John:** But there are also some challenges. So, here’s what’s terrible about pilot season is you go in, everyone is incredibly stressed and overworked because they’re hearing a thousand pitches. They pick the pitches they want to hear. You go in. You write up those scripts. They read all the scripts over the holidays. They decide which ones they’re going to make. And then you are scrambling to get those actors, those directors. It’s a feeding frenzy.

**Carolyn:** And you’re driving the price up.

**John:** You’re driving the price way up.

**Carolyn:** Creating this feeding frenzy.

**John:** And you end up having problems like three things want to shoot at the same location. Like you’re going to be in city and you can’t even get like a bunch of crew. It’s madness.

**Craig:** There are six great shows for three slots, so you’re going to waste three of them or back them up for mid-season. You’ve got surpluses that are kind of unnecessary.

**Carolyn:** You have actors in second position, third position.

**John:** It becomes crazy. And, I think one of the other big challenges with classic pilot season is the people you want to do your shows most are the people who are really good at making TV shows. So, you’re pulling them off of a show that’s really good, their mother ship, so they can write another pilot, and shoot another pilot while they’re still supposed to be able to run their main show. And the established show is going to be suffering for doing that.

**Carolyn:** Something suffers. Definitely.

**John:** Something has to give. So, moving away from the calendar of pilot season is probably useful for some things. What is terrific about the current state of pilot season though I will say is that that ticking clock can be your best friend for forcing them to make a decision.

**Carolyn:** I agree.

**John:** Because otherwise if it’s just whenever, it could just be whenever. You can be sort of held indefinitely working on this project.

**Carolyn:** I think that’s definitely true. I think for Fox, certainly, and other networks they have needs. You know, they need to get stuff. They need to do — the idea is to do better than they’re doing now.

**Craig:** Right.

**Carolyn:** So, that clock, I think, may not tick as loudly, but it’s going to tick.

**John:** Although Jordan Mechner and I did a show for Fox, wrote a pilot for Fox — gosh, six seasons ago — and we were one of those shows that didn’t quite get an order, but they still loved and they kept us going. And we were just clawing the hook for them forever.

**Carolyn:** Which is a great feeling, isn’t it?

**John:** Yeah, it was great. So, we end up writing a new pilot. So, you got a little bit more and that was like, you know. This last time when I did a show for ABC, like we didn’t get the order to shoot the pilot and you were just done. You could walk away and that was lovely. That was a really good experience.

But let’s talk about the idea of shooting pilots or not shooting pilots, because one of the things that Kevin Reilly brings up here is that we may shoot some pilots but we’re going to read the read the scripts, we may bring in a staff.

**Carolyn:** Let’s not read them!

**John:** Oh, yeah, we’ll read the scripts. Oh, they seem good.

**Craig:** That’s new.

**Carolyn:** Ish.

**John:** Ish. We’ll look at the scripts. We may bring in a staff. We may write more episodes before we have shot anything.

**Craig:** Right, so that you’ve got three sort of backed up behind the pilot.

**John:** Is that an HBO model? Does HBO do that with backup scripts from the start before you even shoot something?

**Carolyn:** It depends. Once and awhile they’ll do backup scripts. Once and awhile they’ll shoot, you know, multiple episodes of something. I think now it’s pretty standard that they’ll look for a bible for shows and a fairly detailed one.

But, I think it’s definitely, you know, the question that always comes in is where does the show go. And so I think a lot of times people want to see that on paper.

**Craig:** Well, my question for Fox, listen, shaking up and disrupting the way things are done makes sense to me. We don’t live in a world anymore where they’re waiting for the new cars to come out in September and that’s why we launch seasons and all the rest of it.

But, if you’re going to reduce the amount of development and you’re really going to try and go one-to-one, then it seems to me that you have to do a very un-network like thing and that is actually believe in your shows and be willing to suffer with them until they catch on, which is something the networks used to do. I mean, remember when we were kids Cheers was saved by a letter writing campaign and then became this juggernaut that anchored one of the great nights of network television history.

Game of Thrones, it wasn’t like the first round on that pilot was like, hooray. You know, it needed work.

**Carolyn:** No, it was like, look, there’s a lot — we reshot a lot of the pilot. But I think everybody looked at the pilot and went, “We definitely have something here. It’s not 100 percent.”

**Craig:** But we’re not going to do that thing where we go —

**John:** Even the pilot that ended up airing, it didn’t set the world on fire.

**Carolyn:** No.

**John:** That’s actually been my experience with most HBO shows. The first episode is like, maybe. And then by the third episode like, “Well, this is the best thing on earth.”

**Carolyn:** Well, yeah, I don’t remember anybody coming off the first episode of The Wire being like in love with the show.

**Craig:** Right. Or the first episode of Breaking Bad.

**John:** I’m thinking True Blood. I’m thinking of Six Feet Under. All of them.

**Craig:** The point is that one of the things that they always way —

**Carolyn:** I think Six Feet Under had a pretty good pilot.

**Craig:** Yeah, that one.

The cable world, when they look at the cable world what they see is the quality and they see the freedom of it and they see the inventiveness. And they see these big shows attracting eyeballs. What they often, I think, miss is that when HBO says we’re making a show, they make it. And we’re here with you. We’re going to take bullets with you if we have to. We’re going to get this show going and it’s going to work.

And what you can’t do is have it both ways. You can’t do the old well I’m going to only make one-to-one pilots but I’m still going to look at pilots as disposable razors.

**Carolyn:** Yeah. I mean, the thing is that, I mean, going back to what you were saying about female directors is you need to make room for failure. You know what I mean? And you need to have a little patience for it. It’s impossible to be in a creative business and not fail.

**Craig:** Seinfeld is another great story. One of the worst tests, maybe the worst testing pilot in NBC history.

**Carolyn:** I remember seeing those test results in Larry’s bathroom, framed on the wall.

**Craig:** Just sort of a classic story. And it takes time.

**John:** It will be interesting to see if Fox really does make this shift how it changes the relationship between development and current. So, classically shows are developed through pilot season in development and then current is the people who take over the show and sort of do the weekly, weekly, weekly.

But, if you’re really going to go more straight to series, that development and current handoff is going to be a very different thing.

**Craig:** Weirdest division.

**Carolyn:** I mean, we never really had that. And I think it’s really — because you develop these relationships. You get the intent. You understand, you know, really sort of you’re in the bones of the show as much as someone can be.

**Craig:** It makes no sense to me. And, in fact, the very first thing that I ever —

**Carolyn:** And you lose your investment in it, by the way. I can’t imagine people in current have the same kind of investment.

**Craig:** No, no, they don’t. The very first thing that I did in Hollywood was between my junior and senior year of college I got an internship with the Television Academy.

**Carolyn:** You knew all the way. You knew.

**Craig:** I knew. I knew all the way. So, I got this internship and they placed me at Fox Network in the current programming department. And I spent a summer in the current programming department. And even as a 19-year-old kid, it didn’t make sense to me. So, you have people that figure out what the show should be, work with the writers, develop the show, work on the pilot, get it to a place where they put it on the air, and at that point those people are just gone.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** They’re sent away and now new people that had nothing to do with that give notes on the show that clearly the people running the show don’t care about at all. But, we don’t do that in features. We’ve never even contemplated doing something like that in features. Can you imagine? I’m developing a script and then, “Okay, well green light. Bye!” [laughs]

**John:** “Bye, see ya!”

**Craig:** Now you can talk to this person.

**John:** Yeah, it would be madness.

**Carolyn:** Why do they do that?

**John:** Because the quantity. The quantity is so high and they need to —

**Craig:** The quantity was so high.

**John:** The quantity was so high. The other challenge is that the calendar is part of it, too, because there’s that pilot season those people need to be focusing on that stuff, so they can’t be running their other show because all they’re doing is —

**Carolyn:** Running from table read, to table read.

**John:** That’s what it is. They can’t be doing anything else.

**Carolyn:** Just read though…

**Craig:** That’s crazy.

**John:** It’s madness. One of the dangers of losing a pilot is something you sort of suggested is that you need that chance to breath or to say like, “You know what? Mostly great. But some stuff needs to be fixed. And this is not working.”

**Craig:** Right. Cast.

**John:** Cast. Whatever. And it’s also that reciprocal thing which is like we weren’t sure this was going to work, but this is actually great. And so you’re leaving out the chance that something will just surprise you. So, one of the advantages of sort of the research and development of just shooting 40 pilots is like something you didn’t really think was going to work is actually fantastic.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** And that’s great. And so some of the shows we love right now, Seinfeld might not have happened. Cheers might not have happened. Well, those are actually — Seinfeld might not have happened because that was like who knew that he was going to work in a television way?

**Carolyn:** I mean, I think basically what this does I think is take your cover away. And you have to be as a network person working in a system without pilots and making fewer. And I would say the scripts leading up to it fewer. You have to really sort of believe — you’ve got to believe in the shows. You’ve got to go with your gut. And so the cover of “we did a million and we can’t,” more unhook your own person self.

**Craig:** Yeah, anybody can get five base hits if you have a thousand at bats.

**John:** That’s absolutely true.

**Craig:** I mean, the one great hope I have for, just now talking for writers and writer’s employment, is that if a system like this stays and, look, it’s been tried before and abandoned. So, we should also point out there is a damn good chance that they abandon this. But, if it stays and it engenders an improvement in the amount of scripted programming, that’s great for the employment of writers.

If it stays the same is bad, because I mean pilot season pays a lot for a lot of people.

**John:** That’s a crucial point I think you’re making is that pilot season is wasteful in a way that really helps writers.

**Craig:** Yeah, exactly.

**John:** Because honestly instead of hiring a bunch of people to write these things that shoot, and not just writers employed, but production employment, that wastefulness is really good for a lot of people.

**Craig:** Yum. Slop-over.

**John:** Totally. It jacks up actor’s salaries. And those sort of second tier actors who would never otherwise be a lead in a show are suddenly a lead in a show because that’s who was available.

**Carolyn:** But the wastefulness of it all then makes the bar — the success level goes up with that. Because if something costs $5 million as opposed to $2.5 million, it’s got to succeed at a much higher level than the show that cost half that much.

**John:** Although, but weirdly in network television I feel like in some ways the cost isn’t — the cost isn’t as much of a factor, just what the rating is. And so it’s just like what do we do this week, what do we do the next week. And if they’re doing fewer shows they’re not going to have the back catalog probably to fall back on.

**Carolyn:** I think that’s true. But I think there’s also a cost per rating point.

**Craig:** There is. Especially once fin-syn went away, and the networks, and the production companies, which were ultimately the same thing.

**Carolyn:** Which was the worst thing ever.

**Craig:** Pretty much the worst thing ever. Then at that point, I mean, it used to be, yeah, it wasn’t the network’s problem. The network’s only concern was ratings because the only revenue they made was from advertising. But now they also own the shows. Maybe not directly, but they’re kissing cousin owns the show. So, I never — it’s like, 20th Century Fox produces a show that runs on Fox Broadcasting and they have like a weirdly adversarial relationship, but not really.

**John:** Not really.

**Craig:** I don’t buy it.

**John:** No.

**Craig:** They all know. They’re just moving money in a circle.

**Carolyn:** Yes. Close your eyes.

**Craig:** [laughs] Yeah, exactly. Excellent.

**John:** So, I think it’s time for our One Cool Things. So, at the end of every podcast we talk about One Cool Thing that we like. So, if as Craig and I talk about One Cool Things we like, if there is some idea of something that you would like to share with the world —

**Craig:** A gadget. A thing. An app —

**Carolyn:** A gadget?

**Craig:** Mine today is an app.

**John:** Oh, mine is sort of app like. Go, you first.

**Craig:** This came to me through one of my wonderful One Cool Thing saviors on Twitter. My whole thing is that I never had a One Cool Thing, so I’m always like, oh god, and then so I ask people on Twitter to help me out and they do.

This one was legitimately cool. And every now and again I am reminded why I’m so happy to be alive now as opposed to during like the era of cholera, or mustard gas, or the plague.

**Carolyn:** [laughs] Exactly. Penicillin. Awesome.

**Craig:** Or Penicillin. Exactly. There is an app called Shakespeare and it is free. And dig this, it’s for your iPad or your iPhone, it has every single thing Shakespeare ever wrote. Every play. All of them. Plus the sonnets. They are in plain text or in like next scripty folio text like old school style.

**John:** And so you say has everything, does it have the contrasting versions between like Folio 1 and Folio 2? Or what does it do when there are conflicts between texts?

**Craig:** I think they probably just stuck with one, but they have character breakdowns for everything. They have scene summaries for everything. All words are linkable and definable, which is great.

**John:** That’s hugely helpful.

**Craig:** Yeah, sometimes you’ll run across a word in Shakespeare that you know, just not in the old context. It’s spectacular. And all of it — and it’s free! How do you not immediately just get this?

**Carolyn:** Yeah, no kidding. Don’t have to lug around that Riverside Shakespeare that I have with me.

**Craig:** At least, I mean —

**Carolyn:** My back thanks you.

**Craig:** I’m looking at it right now. She’s got one of those rolling —

**John:** Wheelie cart.

**Craig:** Yeah, a wheelie cart with all of her old Shakespeare.

**John:** It transforms her life.

**Craig:** Yeah, because now you don’t need it. It’s gone. So, anyway, Shakespeare, free. Free! And it’s really well implemented.

**John:** That’s fantastic.

Mine is also an appy kind of thing. It’s called WorkFlowy and it’s an outliner.

**Carolyn:** Flowy?

**John:** WorkFlowy, with a Y on the end. So, Work Flow with a Y on the end.

**Craig:** It’s not WorkFlowy [pronounced Flou-ee]? You sure?

**John:** No, I’m pretty sure it’s Flowy. Pretty sure. And it’s just like workflowy.com.

What it is, it’s an outliner that lives in your browser. And so as you start typing it does nice little indenting of things. It’s great for to-do lists and stuff.

What’s so smart about it is because you log in with an account it’s just always there. So, any browser you go to, or if you look at it on our iPhone, there’s an app for your iPhone and for your iPad. It’s just there. And it’s really smart and minimalist.

And so I’ve found it being great for just keeping track of the projects I’m working on. Right now I’m working on this project where I need to figure out like character names and sort of all the character stuff. And it’s been great for just organizing that stuff. It’s really, really well done. And so WorkFlowy.

**Craig:** Is it free?

**John:** It’s free.

**Craig:** Free!

**John:** And then there’s a pay for subscription for like the bigger storage of it all.

**Craig:** Oh, I see.

**John:** So, it’s sort of like Dropbox if it’s free and then if you cross a certain point —

**Craig:** Sure.

**Carolyn:** Until it isn’t.

**Craig:** They give you a little taste to crack and then suddenly…

**John:** Then like you can’t imagine life without Dropbox.

**Craig:** Cannot.

**John:** And I’m only a week in on WorkFlowy, but it’s really smartly done.

**Carolyn:** So far changed your life.

**Craig:** What about your, Straussy?

**Carolyn:** You know what? What am I going to say? I’ll say this book I just finished, The Orphan Master’s Son. Loved it.

**John:** Fantastic.

**Craig:** Tell us.

**Carolyn:** It’s a little dash of North Korea in my day.

**Craig:** This is the one that Dan Weiss was talking about.

**Carolyn:** Yes, exactly.

**Craig:** And David Benioff said he was going to read it even though it was a terrible title. He’s always got to attack. Always.

**Carolyn:** Yeah, he’s on — but Dan and I had not discussed it. But when I read it I said, oh my god, because Dan is obsessed with all things North Korea.

**John:** Who is not obsessed? North Korea is just such an amazing —

**Craig:** I’m so into it right now.

**Carolyn:** And then when I brought it up to him he’s like, “I loved it!” Of course he would be there first.

**Craig:** Did you see this, because I’m now over the last month, ever since the probably apocryphal story that he threw his uncle to the dogs I’ve been obsessed with North Korea. And there was this amazing video they showed of the speech that he gave where he sort of said, okay, that guy is gone. And this is a new dawning for North Korea. And America bad. The usual thing.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**Craig:** But, it’s North Korean TV so it opens on this crowd of people and then it goes to him talking. And then they cut away about 45 seconds in to show an exterior of the building, the big Pyongyang building. And they never cut back until the end of the speech.

**Carolyn:** They’re just on the building?

**Craig:** Yes. And it’s like a 45-minute long speech. And so you just scrub through the video and he’s just talking and there’s applause and it’s just a building. The entire time, static shot, until the last 30 seconds. And I honestly believe that somebody just forgot to hit the switch. There’s no other explanation.

**Carolyn:** But now they’re dead.

**Craig:** Totally dead.

**Carolyn:** Absolutely.

**John:** Absolutely dead.

**Craig:** Totally dead. Something happened and I would love to know what it was. But, that to me is the essence of North Korea right there.

**John:** Have you guys been to the DMZ? Have you taken the DMZ tour?

**Craig:** No.

**John:** So, we did this a couple of years ago. It’s really fascinating. So, if you’re in Seoul and you’re American.

**Carolyn:** Which I am quite often.

**John:** Are you actually in Seoul? No. Seoul is like the Los Angeles of Korea in the sense it’s huge, and sprawling, and spread out and it’s a city. It’s very close to North Korea for reasons that are problematic.

But, the fun thing is as an American you can go on the DMZ tour. You get on this bus and you go to the DMZ, the safe side of it, and then you can actually cross from North Korea because what you do is you cross into these buildings that are actually exactly on the border, and there’s a North Korean guard on the far side, and a South Korean guard on this side. And you can walk around the table and technically be in North Korea and then walk back out.

**Craig:** They let you do that?

**John:** They let you do that.

**Craig:** Oh my god, the guards the let you do that?

**John:** They let you do that. It’s just this whole weird kabuki thing that happens.

**Craig:** That’s so strange.

**John:** But they teach you on the bus you’re not to smile, you’re not to say anything, you’re not to interact with anybody, because every once and awhile someone will like try to defect and they will like run across.

**Carolyn:** Wow.

**Craig:** Run across, to North Korea?

**John:** To North Korea.

**Craig:** You’re doing it wrong! [laughs]

**Carolyn:** If somebody tries to defect to North Korea…

**Craig:** You’re doing it wrong.

**John:** So, I have a question for you guys —

**Carolyn:** Why doesn’t North Korea, I don’t understand, why doesn’t —

**John:** Come, take them.

**Carolyn:** Take them. Why is it a big — ?

**Craig:** Great. Bye.

**John:** Sure.

**Craig:** You don’t have to run.

**John:** No.

**Craig:** You can walk to North Korea.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**John:** When Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea, how — are we supposed to feel bad when something terrible happens to him?

**Craig:** No. Absolutely not.

**John:** I’m trying to figure out what the feeling I actually have.

**Craig:** I feel bad that something hasn’t happened to him.

**Carolyn:** I was amazed that he could actually get players to go with him.

**Craig:** Well, now what’s happening, I didn’t know if you knew this, but some NBA players aren’t quite as up to world global politics, geo-politics and so forth as you might have imagined. So, now it’s happening and some of them are coming back and going, “Wait, what? Oh no!” [laughs] Like just didn’t know. They just didn’t know.

**Carolyn:** That’s why we had to throw the game!

**Craig:** They’re like, “Ooh, that was…oh, North Korea is the bad one? Oh man, I thought the food was bad. I thought that was where Gangnam Style was from.”

**Carolyn:** I didn’t know that —

**John:** Everyone is like, I love Korea, as if it’s one.

**Craig:** It’s amazing because I’m sure you’ve seen Team America: World Police, one of the finest movies ever made. And so there’s this entire thing about how American celebrities get suckered by the North Koreans. He’s doing it. He’s actually doing that thing.

**Carolyn:** Maybe that is his whole playbook perhaps.

**Craig:** It’s totally not. It’s totally not. I’m more willing to believe that Shia LeBeouf’s playbook is to tweak everybody with his crazy plagiarism than I am to believe that Dennis —

**Carolyn:** Is that a theory that’s out there?

**Craig:** Well, that’s what he wants us to believe, I think.

**John:** He’s doing a Joaquin Phoenix there. It’s really all a performance art thing and then we’ll forgive him and it’ll all be good.

**Craig:** It’s so not working. Shia, it’s not working! It’s not working.

**John:** So, because you’ve never listened to the podcast before, all the boilerplate stuff I’m about to say is brand new to you.

**Craig:** And this is going to be fun. Get ready!

**John:** Wait till you hear all this good stuff.

If you are listening to this on an iOS device you can probably subscribe to us in iTunes, which would be great. And if while you’re there you could leave us a comment or a rating, that’s also great. But if you’re on iPhone or Android you could also get the Scriptnotes app which is free to download. And through that you can listen to our show. You can even access the back episodes, which is fun, because we have now 126 back episodes to listen to.

**Craig:** That’s right.

**John:** If you would like to talk to either Craig or I, or share with us —

**Craig:** Talk to Craig or me.

**John:** God, I did that again. I’m so sorry.

**Craig:** You’re never going to stop saying that.

**Carolyn:** Do you do that every week, because it’s the 127th?

**Craig:** No, it’s the second time in like three episodes he’s done it. And the only reason I say it is because I know he would do it to me. [laughs]

**John:** I would totally. I absolutely would. I always [crosstalk] snipe you. [Crosstalk] pronouns snipe you.

**Craig:** Yeah, you would pronoun snipe me.

**John:** You can reach Craig, @clmazin on Twitter. I am @johnaugust on Twitter. Do you care to share your Twitter? You don’t have to share your Twitter.

**Carolyn:** I don’t really twit.

**John:** She doesn’t tweet.

**Craig:** Twit.

**Carolyn:** I don’t really tweet.

**Craig:** Before you go, can you tell us anything about the upcoming season of Game of Thrones?

**John:** Where are my dragons?

**Craig:** WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?

**John:** Is it good? Is the next season good?

**Craig:** [laughs]

**Carolyn:** It’s okay.

**John:** All right.

**Carolyn:** It’s all right.

**Craig:** Is there any chance that I can get on this show? And I’ve talked to the guys before.

**Carolyn:** I was on the show.

**Craig:** I know.

**Carolyn:** It’s the first time in 25 years.

**Craig:** Trust me, I know. And I’m willing to be like a guy slogging through horse manure.

**Carolyn:** What, they said no?

**Craig:** No, they’re like, they always laugh. They’re like, “Yeah, sure, if you want to come to Northern Ireland,” I’m like I’d absolutely come to Northern Ireland. They’re like, okay, and then they look at each other like, “What’s wrong with him?”

**Carolyn:** Believe me. There have been a lot of people who’ve been in it. Come to Northern Ireland.

**Craig:** Oh, great, now a lot of people have done it.

**John:** Exactly. You’re really nothing special at all.

**Carolyn:** You should come for a [crosstalk] or something. You know, they’ll put you in an unsullied outfit.

**Craig:** Oh, I would like that. Oh, no I don’t think I would —

**John:** Yeah, you’d fit in really well there.

**Craig:** They’re like, “That guy is sullied.”

**Carolyn:** Totally sullied.

**John:** They’re eunuchs, aren’t they? Are the unsullied? Yeah, so there’s also that.

**Craig:** That’s I’ve got covered.

**John:** Done.

**Craig:** It’s just the abs.

**John:** It’s just taking care of the abs. [laughs]

**Craig:** I am a field director, but my abs are not unsullied level.

**Carolyn:** Yeah, I feel like I think we can make it happen.

**Craig:** Definitely like to me, my guy is I’m in the Knight’s Watch. I’ve taken the black.

**Carolyn:** Because they have the big cloak.

**Craig:** Right! So, I’m really covered. It’s cold. I look dirty.

**John:** Yeah.

**Carolyn:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Done. Set. You have a little dragon glass, you can poke somebody.

**Craig:** I just need like one moment where I look, just where I notice something. That’s all. That’s all I ask for.

**John:** And then you’re just — like an arrow in the throat.

**Craig:** That would be the best of all time. If I could get killed onscreen and like actually…

**John:** Malcolm Spellman got killed onscreen.

**Craig:** So you know, our friend Malcolm, it’s the moment when what’s her face?

**John:** Arya.

**Craig:** Arya is with the Hound. And they’re walking along and she hears like three guys talking about how they killed at the Red Wedding.

**Carolyn:** And she goes…

**Craig:** Right. And one of them is named Malcolm. One of them is named Spellman. [laughs]

**John:** One’s Malcolm and one is Spellman.

**Craig:** It was the most amazing thing ever.

**Carolyn:** Clever. So, you mean, you actually want to be killed, not just in name.

**John:** Oh, not just in name. We want Craig —

**Craig:** I physically want to be killed on the show.

**John:** It would actually be fascinating, you know, if you love the show so much you actually wanted to die in real life. You wanted your death actually filmed. Not just like your character being killed.

**Craig:** I mean, I would consider it. It depends on —

**Carolyn:** I think we can work this out. I really feel like it.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** It’s basically a snuff film fantasy. Carolyn Strauss, thank you so much for being our guest.

**Carolyn:** Thank you guys. It was a lot of fun.

**John:** So much fun.

**Craig:** Fantastic.

**John:** And we’ll talk to you guys…

**Craig:** See you next time.

Links:

* [Dungeon World](http://www.dungeon-world.com/)
* Carolyn Strauss on [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolyn_Strauss) and [IMDb](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1865467/)
* Lexi Alexander’s [blog post on the underrepresentation of women in Hollywood](http://www.lexi-alexander.com/blog/2014/1/13/this-is-me-getting-real)
* [AV Club](http://www.avclub.com/article/fox-at-the-tca-press-tour-kevin-reilly-kills-pilot-106902) on Fox’s announcing they are moving away from pilot season
* [Shakespeare](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/shakespeare/id285035416?mt=8) for iPhone and iPad
* Organize your brain with [WorkFlowy](https://workflowy.com/)
* [The Orphan Master’s Son](http://www.amazon.com/dp/0812982622/?tag=johnaugustcom-20) by Adam Johnson
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Scriptnotes listener Matthew Chilelli

Scriptnotes, Ep 123: Scriptnotes Holiday Spectacular — Transcript

December 30, 2013 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-holiday-spectacular).

**Franklin Leonard:** Hello. My name is Franklin Leonard.

**Rawson Thurber:** Hi, my name is Rawson Thurber.

**Lindsay Doran:** My name is Lindsay Doran.

**Kelly Marcel:** Hey, I’m Kelly Marcel.

**Richard Kelly:** Hey, my name is Richard Kelly.

**Aline Brosh McKenna:** Hi. My name is Aline Brosh McKenna. And this is Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** My name is Craig Mazin. Hi. Hi!

**John:** And this is the Holiday Edition of Scriptnotes. And I am so happy to have six of our favorite guests here with us tonight to talk about things that are —

**Craig:** They are, in fact, our six favorite guests.

**John:** Ooh.

**Craig:** Not “of our.” These are our favorite guests.

**John:** Wow. Right now people are doing the calculations like, oh god, who got left off of this list.

**Craig:** Everybody that’s not here.

**John:** Wow. People are going to feel really bad about that.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So we actually have, obviously you can tell, a lot of guests. We have three topics — that’s common for Scriptnotes. We have a microphone back there so we’re going to do a Q&A at the end of this. So, we have a lot to do tonight.

So I thought we wouldn’t dilly dally too much, Craig, unless you have some holiday topics you want to talk about.

**Craig:** Yeah. I wanted to talk about the eggnog situation.

**John:** Okay, let’s talk about some eggnog.

**Craig:** And how disgusting it is.

**John:** Yeah. I didn’t see you drinking any eggnog.

**Craig:** No. But I noticed people were nogging it up. Noggy mouths.

**John:** Okay, a show of hands. Who out there actually tasted the eggnog?

Oh my god, that was a lot. And so by applause who liked the eggnog?

Yeah. That’s only about half the audience who liked the eggnog. So, a lot of people tasted the eggnog and did not enjoy it.

**Craig:** Gross. It’s drinking mayonnaise. It’s disgusting.

**John:** Yeah.

**Craig:** That’s it. I’m done with dilly dallying. Let’s go.

**John:** Craig has done his contribution to the weekly podcast. So, Craig…

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** Yeah. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pick on you.

**Craig:** No. That was accurate.

**John:** Yeah, I sort of nag on Craig and I shouldn’t. Actually that can be a resolution for the New Year is I won’t nag on you so much.

**Craig:** Don’t patronize me, August.

**John:** Because it is. Actually when I say I’m going to do nice things, it actually comes across as patronizing.

**Craig:** Yeah. Because it is.

**John:** That’s how it is.

So, Craig, this will be our 123rd episode of Scriptnotes once this goes live on Tuesday, which is a lot. So, thank you all for listening.

And I realize while we talked about a lot of topics on the show, one of the things we never actually spoke about is what happens when people say yes. What happens when people say like, “Oh yeah, I really like your script. I want to buy your script.” We haven’t really talked about that process.

**Craig:** Yeah. It seems like all you do is hear no, no, no, no, no, no, and then one day you hear yes and it’s not the fake yes, it’s the real yes. And go out to dinner and you tell all your friends and you get drunk. And then the next morning you wake up and, oh no, here comes trouble.

**John:** Yeah. There’s a lot of stuff that happens when someone says yes. It’s a luxury problem, but let’s talk about some luxury problems. And who would be better to talk about luxury problems than Franklin Leonard. Come on back up here.

**Craig:** Impresario of the Black List.

**Franklin:** Hello. Hopefully I can get this part right since I screwed up the introduction.

**John:** No, don’t worry about it. We’ll do a take two and it will all be fine.

**Franklin:** Excellent. [Crosstalk]

**John:** Franklin Leonard, creator of the Black List, a person who deals with a lot of writers who are suddenly hot.

**Craig:** Suddenly hearing yes.

**Franklin:** That’s the hope, yes.

**John:** Our other guests for this segment would be Rawson Marshall Thurber.

**Craig:** Yay!

**John:** Rawson Marshall Thurber who last time you were on the show you had this little indie film called We’re the Millers that ended up doing pretty well.

**Rawson:** Yeah. It did okay.

**John:** Yeah, you can set your wine anywhere. Don’t worry about that.

**Rawson:** Thank you. Sorry. Hi everybody.

**John:** Hi Rawson! So, Franklin let’s start with you because this year’s Black List just came out.

**Franklin:** It did. On Monday.

**John:** So, the Black List is an annual assessment of the scripts that development people liked the most. Is that —

**Franklin:** That is a perfectly accurate description. Yes.

**John:** And so talk to us about this year’s Black List. Were there any changes you noticed? What was the tenor of this year’s list?

**Franklin:** It was an odd list this year. I mean, I think fascinating subject matter. I’ll run through some numbers. There were two scripts about the making of Jaws. There were two scripts about Mr. Rogers. Two scripts written by identical twins, which I think is the first time that’s happened.

**Rawson:** That’s just cheating.

**Franklin:** I suppose it is. Right? It’s like two of the same brain generating one piece of material.

If there was a big trend I think it was bio pics. We saw a ton of adapted stories of a moment in a person’s life, with whom a lot of people are familiar.

**Craig:** We call that the Marcel.

**Franklin:** Ah, yes. Lots of Marcels. Are they as good as the original? Certainly not.

**Craig:** No. No. Maybe.

**Franklin:** I don’t know. I haven’t read them yet. There’s one about Stanley Kubrick faking the moon landing, which I’m particularly interested to read.

I think that was the big trend. But I think what’s really exciting as we’ve seen every year is that when you ask Hollywood development executives the scripts that they love, not the scripts that their boss loves, or the scripts that they think will make tons of money, it is a really eclectic list of really ambitious storytelling that very often succeeds in the execution of that ambition. And it’s not big four quadrant movies that don’t have a soul. It’s an attempt to do something that reminds us —

**Craig:** So there is a place for those.

**Franklin:** There is. No, there absolutely is. I’m a fan of those movies.

**Craig:** And everybody has a soul. But they still want to be entertained.

**John:** Now, how many of the scripts on the list this year are already set up someplace, like someone is trying to make this movie?

**Franklin:** A third of the scripts that were on the list this year already have a financier attached. About two-thirds have a producer attached. Leaving one-third having neither a producer or a financier.

**Craig:** Well, you know, when we think about the questions that we ask when we do a live show I’m always thinking about the folks that are here and coming up with questions that relate to where they are right now in time. And one thing I have to say, you know, I started out with the Black List where my position on it was “do not attack.”

**Franklin:** Which was still the greatest praise we’ve received so far.

**Craig:** But I really now am in favor of it. I am positively in favor of it.

**Franklin:** Wow.

**Craig:** It’s a great service that’s getting results and I like to think that there are people here, there’s somebody here, if not one, two, maybe even ten, who are going to write a script that will get on the Black List, will get them noticed, and then someone is going to say yes.

**Franklin:** Yes.

**Craig:** When you see this happening and I think you are in an interesting position to see it happening to people that may not know what the hell is going on.

**Franklin:** Yes.

**Craig:** What happens? Tell them what they’re in for.

**Franklin:** Yeah, I mean, look, I think it’s a case by case basis. But the way that the Black List website is set up, you know, someone downloads your script and reads it. And we sort of step aside at that point. We sort of joke about the website being eHarmony for people who make movies and people who write movies. And just like you won’t see that guy from the commercials at your wedding night being like, “Where’s my 10 percent?” you won’t see us after we make the connection.

So, a lot of times it can be an email out of the blue like, “Hi, I’m a producer at this company. I’m interested in talking more.” Or, “I’m an agent, I’d like to talk to you.”

And I think at that point, you know, get on the phone with them initially, and then I think trust-but-verify is probably a good rule of thumb. And then the other thing is we — our membership are all legitimate Hollywood people. Like if you’re getting an email from someone who says they read your script on the Black List, again, still trust-but-verify, but in all probability they are a legitimate person who can do something significant with your career, otherwise we wouldn’t have approved them for membership.

But, that’s actually a good time, especially if you develop relationships with other people in Hollywood, to then triangulate that information with them and say, “Hey, I just got a phone call from so-and-so. What do you know about this person? Would you like to read my script now that other people are interested?” I think taking advantage of that is always a good idea.

But I’m loathe to give blanket advice generally.

**Craig:** Yeah, but think specific now.

**Franklin:** But specifically in this case, I actually am loathe to, because I think it really does depend on each individual’s sort of circumstances and who it is that’s contacting them. But trust-but-verify is a good rule of thumb.

**John:** I want to just zoom in on that moment of someone says yes and they say we are going to make an offer on your script, because that’s a moment that sort of gets every writer’s heart pitter pattering. But what does an offer really mean and what is it that you would actually do when that situation happens?

So, Rawson, I remember you were working for me when Dodgeball sold. That was your first script sale —

**Craig:** You were like, “I’m out of here, August. Oh, up this.”

**Rawson:** “I never liked you!”

**Craig:** [laughs] I can’t wait for my turn.

**Rawson:** What did you say?

**Craig:** I said I can’t wait to also tell him I don’t like him at all.

**John:** Ah-ha!

**Rawson:** “I quit this podcast!”

**John:** Indeed. You need to direct like two big successful movies and then you’re totally free to do that, Craig.

**Craig:** Wow. Beat me down.

**Rawson:** Instead of write like half a dozen successful movies.

**John:** So, Rawson, what were those last — the last week, the last day, the last hours. Tell me what that feels like.

**Rawson:** I don’t know. I guess I’d always hoped it was going to be that. Like, you know, the balloons would fall from the ceiling and you’d get hit in the face with confetti. And then someone would hand you a big novelty check and you give everybody the middle finger and you’re gone.

But never, at least for me and for most people that I’ve talked to about this, it doesn’t really — it doesn’t usually happen that way.

**John:** So, Dodgeball, this was Ben Stiller’s company became attached to do it. And they made a deal at Fox because their deal was at Fox. There was like a competitive situation for that.

**Rawson:** Right, well it’s significantly worse than that. [laughs] Lots of stuff happened beforehand. Everybody sort of passed on it. And then we sent it to Ben’s company, Red Hour, and the receptionist there, Will, read it and liked it, who gave it to the junior executive, who read it and liked it, who gave it to Stuart Cornfeld, Ben Stiller’s producing partner, who read it and liked it, who gave it to Ben, who read it and liked it, who met me and liked me.

And then they — well Red Hour, his company, had just left 20th Century Fox and had just made a deal with DreamWorks. And DreamWorks said, “Look, we don’t really get it, but we just made this deal with you. And we want to start off on the right foot. So, here you go, here’s…”

I mean, I think it was whatever is like minimum and then a little less than minimum, [laughs], or as low as they could go.

**John:** So, not scale plus ten, but just scale.

**Rawson:** Yeah, scale. And then please wash our cars, you know, also. And I said, “Yeah, great. Whatever!” So, it was not — and then it was — so then it wasn’t even a sale, it was like a really low option. Like I don’t think you could buy a Kia for like the option price.

**Franklin:** I think the Kia Option is a car.

**Rawson:** Is that right? [laughs]

**Franklin:** I’m not sure, but it should be.

**Rawson:** At any rate. And the check, and then you get to the part where like you’ve got to actually do it.

**Craig:** Kia Option! [laughs] Sorry, he’s funny.

**John:** Yeah.

**Rawson:** And then that’s the weird part where you actually like go from prospect to employee and then you kind of have to — you got to step up and do the work. And I rewrote Dodgeball with Ben and Stuart for a year and a half. And we kept turning in drafts to DreamWorks. And Adam Goodman at the time was the executive and John Fox was the junior. And they were kind of saying like, “Wow, this is getting better.” And we’re like, yeah, it’s not like a homework assignment, like we’re trying to make a movie.

And then they said, yeah, we’re not going to make it. And then the very quick summation is we took it to Fox and we took it there because there was a fantastic executive named Debbie Liebling who was there. And she found — she had just come over from Comedy Central. She had found Matt and Trey. And she read the script and loved it and got it and sort of stood up in like the Darth Vader room at Fox and like the long black table. And at the time told Tom Rothman like, “This is the kind of dumb movie we need to make.” And so then they took it from DreamWorks.

**John:** So, let’s talk about this last week you set up another pitch which was a very different experience.

**Rawson:** Yeah. Completely different. Well, for me, a couple reasons. One is I was attached as the director, not the writer. Simon Rich was and is the writer, a very talented guy from New York, wrote for SNL for a few years, New Yorker, et cetera.

And so we went around town and pitched everywhere in town. He had this idea based on underlying material written by Steve Breen, a sort of comic — a collection of single panel comics. It didn’t really have a narrative to it. Simon came up with one and we went around town and pitched.

And the town was split in half with two different producers, which was really awkward for us, for everybody really. And then we pitched and people really liked it. And it was the first time that I had ever been involved in I guess what amounts to a bidding war. There was like, I think, five different studios wanting the same thing.

I’d always heard of this sort of thing, but I’d never actually been a part of it. And it was really cool. And also awful at the same time, because what I didn’t think about for whatever reason is that you can only say yes to one person. And at this point, you know, I know a lot of the people at the studios and they’re friends and we’ve done other things together and both producing entities are fantastic. And, yeah, it was great. It was bittersweet, I guess.

**John:** It’s like The Bachelor. You can only give the rose to one girl.

**Rawson:** We had the final rose ceremony. And it was —

**Craig:** It’s just like The Bachelor.

**John:** It’s just like The Bachelor.

**Rawson:** It is. It is.

**John:** Craig, have you had bidding war situations? Have you had like a thing where you went out on the town and had to meet with multiple people?

**Craig:** Yeah, early on in my career all I did was go and pitch. And that was all the movies that I was doing were based on pitches. And there was one that an executive that I’m very close with to this very day didn’t talk to me for three years because I didn’t pick him. And, you know, and when he was yelling at me I remember I said, “But you have passed on stuff I’ve offered to you before and I don’t yell at you.”

**Rawson:** That’s exactly right.

**Craig:** And they don’t care. They don’t care.

**Rawson:** I mean, that was part of the fun. The shoe was on the other foot this time, for once.

**Craig:** Here’s the thing and this is why it’s touch. We are actually just nicer people. I’m so sorry. We’re nicer people.

**Franklin:** By the way, I agree with you. I mean, it’s like you could have said —

**Craig:** Oh, don’t jump on our [crosstalk].

**Franklin:** You could have also said, “But they’re paying more money,” and I’ll bet he still would have yelled at you.

**Craig:** Well, yeah, probably. I mean, but it’s hard to make those choices. One thing that’s interesting about the first time you hear yes, and I get it from your story about the scale or the near scale, don’t — I don’t want anyone to think that there’s any such thing as breaking in. I know everybody thinks that there’s a rolling in. There is an endless dribbling in. [laughs]

The first movie that I pitched and sold was with a writing partner and our deal was for $100,000. So, I got $50,000, which means I got $45,000, but really means I got $42,500, I think. And then after taxes and it took like a year and a half. And they took eight months to pay me.

**Rawson:** Yeah. [laughs]

**Craig:** So by the end I think I got $20,000.

**Rawson:** Yeah. Gold Lobster. Let’s go. Awesome.

**Craig:** You know, and so I don’t want anyone to think that that first time is going to be some amazing thing. The angels don’t sing, usually.

**John:** The thing I’ve learned over the course of a lot of pitches being set up and stuff, and not really competitive situations usually, is that when you hear the words “business affairs,” that means like, oh, something is actually really happening. So, that’s just not like idle executives talking about stuff, like, “Oh, we’ll call business affairs.” It’s like, Ooh, they’re going to actually bring real people who make money deals into our situation.

**Craig:** Which is great, but then you find out that the business affairs people are awful.

**John:** They’re awful. [laughs]

**Craig:** All the passion, and the love, and the excitement about what you said and you did, that’s real for the people that really want to make a great movie. But then there is this other place that’s cold. And those people, their job is to pay you the least amount possible. And so somebody in a room — And it’s so schizophrenic, because you’ve seen it on your side.

**Franklin:** Oh, absolutely.

**Craig:** Somebody in a room will say to a writer, “You’re amazing. I’ve always wanted to work with you. I need to make this movie with you. We want this movie. Please, please, please. You’re amazing.” And then your agent will get a call from business affairs guys like, “We don’t think that they’re really worth that much. At all.”

**John:** Yeah. “We see this as a one-step deal for about half their quote.”

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Yeah. That’s literally what —

**Craig:** “Oh, did someone tell you that they liked them? We don’t.” Yeah.

**John:** Yeah. And so the challenge of a writer — if it’s your first day you’re going to end up kind of taking whatever you can take, which is sort of the nature of it. But the challenge of it is that you felt all that enthusiasm in that room. You felt like, oh, this is going to be a thing. I sold a movie. And then it ends up being three weeks of drudgery while that thing gets figured out. And that can be a very long time.

**Rawson:** Three weeks if you’re lucky. Sometimes it’s longer.

**Franklin:** Yeah. I was going to say. Three weeks, you’re very lucky.

**Rawson:** That’s fast.

**Craig:** It can be a year.

**Franklin:** But I think the other thing that’s important to remember, and I say this as someone who is on the other end of the table —

**John:** You were an executive at Overbrook before.

**Franklin:** Yeah, I mean, I was an executive at Overbrook, which is Will Smith’s production company. I was an executive at Universal. I worked for Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company. I worked for Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella.

And on the other side of that table I think it’s important for writers to remember that the moment when someone is interested in your material but you still own it is sort of the apex of your power.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Yeah.

**Franklin:** And once the studio owns it, you have virtually no power. And so essentially make sure that what you are getting for your work, whatever it is, is something that you are okay with seeding the power that you have over the work that you’ve toiled endlessly over to someone who then really won’t feel as though they owe you anything.

And that’s sort of the price that every writer, every person, whether you work as an accountant for a big corporation, or whether you work as a writer, has to determine for themselves. At what price your soul or in this case your writing?

**Craig:** And that is the moment when they will work the hardest to convince you that you have the least leverage.

**Franklin:** That’s absolutely right.

**Craig:** Because they’re smart. They are. Don’t underestimate these people. They’re not smart about story a lot of the times. But they’re smart about this stuff though.

**Franklin:** I would even argue that they’re not so much smart as that they have almost all of the power, because they have the purse strings.

**Craig:** And a total lack of scruples.

**Franklin:** Right. But like I would love to see, for example, an environment where if you had a spec script you could put it onto the market with a timeline and people would have to buy your script like eBay. Because there’s nothing that sort of throws me off more than this idea that the studio is blocking —

**Craig:** Buy it now.

**Franklin:** Exactly. Buy it now, at this price, and if the price goes up the price goes up. And you are as a writer able to see…

**Craig:** ScriptBay.

**Franklin:** …every single offer.

**Craig:** You should do that.

**John:** Well, no, what he’s really bringing up though is the idea of a deadline. And so we see the giant sales that happen, it’s usually because there’s been enough interest in the town that an artificial deadline has been set. Where the agents have called around and said, “We are taking offers until 5pm. And then we’re done.” And that’s crazy.

**Craig:** Is that what happened to you?

**Rawson:** Well it was almost the reverse or the inverse, I guess. So, the first studio N said here’s our offer and it expires at 6:30.

**Craig:** They love doing that.

**Rawson:** And Simon Rich and I share the same agent. And I got to — at the end of the day, we pitched Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Thursday night we went to CAA and we like sat in his office and watched as emails came in and he was on the phone. It was really kind of fascinating to watch. But I mean he’s done this before. So, he said, “Look, I can’t honor that. Don’t tell me that time because I can’t get to all the parties and get you an answer by that time, so that won’t work.”

He deflected it in such, I thought, a really elegant and sophisticated way. But it’s interesting when they put the other — and then they came back in after that. So —

**John:** Was it the first party who came in who ended up getting the script ultimately?

**Rawson:** No. No, no, it wasn’t. Yeah. That was tough.

**Craig:** Oh, good. I like it when that happens.

**John:** They have to squirm and sweat.

**Franklin:** But here’s the interesting question is that who cares who came in first at the end of the day? At the end of the day it’s like who are you willing to work with who is going to pay you the most money to do it? And I don’t — yes, I respect somebody who says I love this, here’s an offer. But if they’re going to explode the offer at a certain time, that’s a negotiating tactic. They’re trying to limit how much money you make.

**Rawson:** But I also made, oh sorry, I also made a mistake with that. There was another project that was like based on a graphic novel and I set it up and I had two different studios that wanted it. And I went with the one that was going to pay me more. They’re both great studios, great people, et cetera, and I went with the one that paid me more versus the one that said we really are going to make this thing.

**Craig:** Ah!

**Rawson:** And I regretted it. I regret it now. I completely made the wrong choice. And sometimes it’s hard to see that at the time where you feel like, oh, well these people say they want to make it, too.

**Craig:** It’s a mistake everybody makes.

**Rawson:** Yeah, it’s just, you never know I guess is all I can say on that.

**Franklin:** I think that’s true.

**Craig:** Nobody knows. So, that’s bleak.

**John:** A sobering thought of nobody knowing anything.

**Craig:** And we’re talking about success!

**John:** I want to thank our first panelists, Franklin Leonard. I’m sorry, you have a last thought?

**Franklin:** Oh, one thing.

**Craig:** Franklin has a little Christmas gift for everybody.

**Franklin:** I have a little Christmas gift for everybody.

**John:** A holiday present. I’m sorry.

**Franklin:** Craig mentioned that maybe one, or two, or ten people in the audience may have a script on the Black List and end up sort of oozing their way into Hollywood.

**Craig:** Dribbling.

**John:** Here’s a question for our audience right now.

**Craig:** Painful, burning dribble.

**John:** First off, is anyone in this audience on the Black List that was just published this last week. Do we have any people who got that award?

**Craig:** Oh, those people are way too busy to show up to this.

**John:** Yeah, they’re too busy. They’re fielding all the calls that Rawson’s agent was taking. Is anyone here currently on blcklst.com?

**Franklin:** Does anyone have a script on the Black List?

**John:** Oh yeah. Very nice. Very good. So, for people who don’t…

**Franklin:** For people who don’t, and everyone who does I’ll be standing outside afterwards with the coupon for a free month of hosting for a script on the Black List.

**Craig:** Woo!

**Franklin:** You get a script! You get a script! It’s my Oprah moment.

**John:** Franklin, you are our Oprah.

**Craig:** It’s like t-shirt gun kind of…

**Franklin:** I asked for a confetti cannon to shoot them out of and I got a response that I can let Craig clarify.

**Craig:** I talked about my confetti gun.

**John:** [laughs] And Craig made it pornographic is really the answer to that email chain. Franklin, Rawson, thank you so much.

**Craig:** It’s colorful.

**John:** Yay!

**Craig:** Who is next?

**John:** We’re going to talk a bit. So, Craig, I’m writing now. I’m actually writing a screenplay, which is such an unusual experience for me.

**Craig:** What’s that about?

**John:** It’s really fun to write a screenplay, but really hard because you have to have all these characters, and you have to like do stuff.

**Craig:** No.

**John:** No, not at all? Oh, you write comedies, I forget. You basically make a little outline and then Zach Galifianakis says something funny.

**Craig:** That’s not entirely inaccurate.

**John:** All right. So, I’m writing this screenplay and it’s going good.

**Craig:** Oh, look. Look who is angry at you. My little pit bull.

**John:** Oh, Kelly Marcel is angry with me.

**Craig:** Well, Marcel will deal with you later.

**John:** She’ll have her moment.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** But I’m going to be totally honest. I’m having some challenges where I know I want to be able to articulate what the two main characters sort of want at any moment. Both what they would publicly say they want and what they sort of ultimately kind of inherently want. And I’ve been wrestling with it. And there’s stuff in the second act that I’m like leery about getting into because I don’t kind of know the answers to these things. I don’t want to write stuff that I don’t have the answers for.

**Craig:** Sure.

**John:** But, we have two panelists here who will tell us the answer and they’re going to come up and it’s going to be awesome because they’re going to be helping a lot. Lindsay Doran, the amazing Lindsay Doran.

**Craig:** Lindsay Doran!

**John:** And our inaugural guest, our Joan Rivers —

**Craig:** The Joan Rivers of Scriptnotes. Aline Brosh McKenna. And I should say that for all of the stick I give our brothers and sisters in the studio suites that Lindsay really is —

**John:** Lindsay is kind of amazing.

**Aline:** Let me talk about Lindsay.

**Craig:** She’s pretty amazing. I mean, she is — she is the exception that proves the rule, frankly, that people like you are terrible, but you’re not.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** Yeah, thank you.

**Aline:** I wanted to say two things before we started this topic. The first is this is a holiday party and I’m really glad you guys dressed up. And you can tell they’re dressed up because Craig is not wearing a hoodie.

**Craig:** No, my wife has it over there.

**Aline:** And John is wearing a hoodie.

**John:** I’m wearing a hoodie.

**Aline:** And that’s how you can tell that they’re all dressed up.

**Craig:** You really are the Joan Rivers of Scriptnotes.

**John:** We basically invite you on to insult us is basically…

**Aline:** Yes. The other thing I want to say to insult everyone is you’re very lucky to have Lindsay here, because she is the closest, one of the closest that Hollywood gets to having a guru.

**Craig:** She is.

**Aline:** And she is a guru.

**Craig:** She is.

**John:** Hooray.

**Aline:** So enjoy.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** So, guru, help me out. This is literally the problem I’m having right now. So, I have two characters who are sort of a key relationship. They’re not a love interest relationship but a key relationship. Each of them has different things they need to do. And in trying to articulate what it is, it’s like what would Sandra Bullock in Speed say her — what is she trying to do? If you’re carried along on a ride in a story, what does she say she’s trying to do? And how do I get that out? Does that make sense at all?

**Aline:** How does she articulate her wants.

**John:** How does she articulate her wants?

**Craig:** Isn’t she trying to just go faster?

**Lindsay:** “I don’t want to crash.”

**Craig:** Yeah, like, “I have to go faster than 55mph.”

**Lindsay:** Is that so hard?

**John:** Sandra Bullock was a terrible example.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So, let me step back.

**Craig:** I’m feeling better about myself right now I have to say.

**John:** What does Demi Moore in Ghost want to do?

**Lindsay:** She wants to, wow, that’s hard, isn’t it?

**Aline:** Is she the main want though? Is Patrick Dempsey, oh Patrick Dempsey. Patrick Swayze.

**John:** Wouldn’t it be amazing if Patrick Dempsey was in that. Patrick Swayze has an easier —

**Craig:** Swayze wants to save her.

**Aline:** Yes, he wants to —

**Lindsay:** The good news is that it changes, right?

**John:** It does, yes.

**Lindsay:** At the beginning she wants this Whoopi Goldberg woman to go away and leave her alone to her grief. She wants her husband back. She can’t get that. She wants this woman to leave her alone. And then at a certain point she wants to believe. And that’s when we can break her heart and show that Whoopi Goldberg is just some fake con artist and then we have to win her back again. So, it’s a long bunch of stuff.

**John:** Does she want to believe? Does she ever consciously realize she wants to believe? Or is it an inner thing that sort of comes out? That’s a want/need question.

**Lindsay:** There’s a remarkable moment, something that we used in the trailer to great effect, where Whoopi Goldberg is trying to persuade her that she’s sitting there having a conversation with Sam and she gets up to leave. And Patrick Swayze says to her, “Tell her that I love her.” And he says it, “Tell her he loves you.” And she turns around and she says, “Sam would never say that.” And it’s so viscous and real when she says that. And in the trailer —

**Craig:** Because he didn’t in the beginning. He couldn’t say.

**Lindsay:** That was the whole thing. He would always say, “Ditto.” And it was in the trailer. It was like, oh god, this is a real movie about real people with real relationships. And then eventually, yeah, you do track points at which she really wants to believe. There’s the thing with the penny coming up into the air. And that’s the moment when she finally does believe.

But, yes, it is difficult. She’s not the protagonist. It’s really easy what Sam wants. But if it’s interesting to anybody, we had a really interesting thing with Ghost because in the pitch, which was very, very long, I had to as the executive in charge get that down to about a 30 second pitch for the head of production. And in trying to reduce it I realized we had a problem.

And I went back to the writer and said Sam wants to be alive, of course. He wants to tell his wife that he loves her, of course. But it’s not concrete. We need something that drives the story. And so it became he has to save her life.

**Craig:** The crime angle.

**Aline:** Right.

**Lindsay:** We have to do something with the guy sneaking into her apartment so it looks as though he has to save her life. So, that was the thing. He comes back from the dead to save his wife. And it’s in the trailer. [laughs] It was in the pitch. It’s barely in the movie. Barely. It was so scrunched in there. But it became, it was so concrete and important as opposed to something as misty as he wants to tell her that he loves her.

**Craig:** That was pretty misty.

**Lindsay:** And it made a good thriller premise as opposed to just a romantic —

**Aline:** It kind of hardened the wants.

**Lindsay:** Yes. It hardened the… — Ooh, that’s good. Harden the wants.

**John:** Oh my god. Aline Brosh McKenna. She nails phrases that become like iconic. Things about squirrels and robots. That’s why we have her on the show.

**Craig:** I mean she really is —

**Lindsay:** But I don’t know if any of that helps you.

**John:** It helps me tremendously in the sense of I always wrestle with the degree to which characters are aware of what they need, what they want and what they need, and the ability to have characters to articulate what it is they’re actually trying to do.

**Craig:** Well, I always feel like what they want and what they need should be in complete opposition in the beginning of any movie, of any story, because what they want is for the movie to not happen. And you’re going to force it on them. That’s why the movie is interesting. Something is forced on them.

And what they need is to go through this very painful thing. Nobody wants to get a splinter pulled out of their finger. Nobody. They want to just not be in pain. But what they need is for the splinter to be pulled out of their finger. So, I like to think of those things in opposition. I like to think of a movie as a progression where want and need slowly finally become the same thing. You know?

**John:** I like it. I like it.

**Lindsay:** That’s good.

**Craig:** Thanks. Yeah, I believe you.

**Lindsay:** I’m a guru.

**John:** Aline, talk to me about characters in films you’ve written. Devil Wears Prada, or as you have a protagonist, are they able to articulate what they’re going for at the start of the film? And is it true to what the actual story is or just what the character is feeling at that moment?

**Aline:** Well, I agree with Craig that the thing, the stated goal, is often not the actual goal. But one thing I’ve been thinking about lately that I think is helpful for this, and might be helpful for the people in this room, is when you first write a script you’re just trying to have it make some sense. You’re just trying to have the goals be really super clear so that, you know, there’s that — what was that song? Things That Make You Go Hmmm, or something.

You want your script to not be things that make you go, huh, and a lot of your first scripts are really that. Where you don’t really know what people want. That’s usually the issue. And then when you get some skill going you can sort of depict like what people want, but it’s a little flat. It’s a little bit direct, so people say, “I want to get the briefcase there by noon on Thursday.” And then you’re watching everyone do that. And it’s very flat. And one thing that I’ve sort of realized in my own writing is — I’m sorry, are we boring you, Craig?

**Craig:** No, no, no, just you.

**Aline:** One thing I’ve noticed is you want to have an evolution in what the want is and you want to have some sort of epiphany moment for the character but also for the audience. And I think a great example of this is in Frozen. In Frozen you kind of think you know what she wants. How many people have seen Frozen? A lot of people have seen Frozen.

**John:** Yeah, good.

**Aline:** I just loved it. And you think you know what she wants and I’m not going to spoil it for anyone, but you think you know what she wants and you see the guy going towards her.

**John:** Who?

**Aline:** The main character. The younger sister. And you see the guy coming towards her. And you’re sort of okay with that want. And you sort of have signed off on that want. And it would work perfectly well and it would track perfectly well and it’s in keeping with what her expressed goal was. And then the movie does this amazing thing where she has an epiphany, we have an epiphany, and it does something which I think is miraculous where it takes the theme and the character to another level that you hadn’t imagined. And I really think that’s what separates a good script from a great script.

And in that moment you have this incredible insight into her, but also this incredible insight into the world that she’s created thematically. And that’s the other level to get to. I think the first level to get to is just to make sure that the audience is not confused about what people want. And then the great thing you can get to is if there is an evolution, an epiphany for the character and for the audience. And if you can do that you’re really well ahead of it.

**Lindsay:** You have to think a lot about what does the audience want. That’s what I — it’s like what do you want the audience to want? Because in Frozen you want them to think they’re invested in that relationship, but you don’t want them so invested in that relationship when you turn the tables on them that they go, wait, what happened to that relationship? And I’ve certainly been in previews where you go, oops, they wanted — I bring up Pretty In Pink all the time. Oops, we wanted them to make the transition for her to be in love with Duckie and guess what, they never got there.

**Aline:** Right.

**Lindsay:** They wanted her to be in love with Andrew McCarthy and we had to change the ending. So, you have to be really, really clear. And a lot of decision making has to go into making sure that you’re tracking what they want and how you’re going to pull the rug out from under them and they’ll go with you.

**Aline:** And there needs to be an evolution in, as Craig said, the difference between the want and the need. There needs to be this evolution between what they think they want and the thing that they really need. And so that is often that little twist where the character makes a shift. It goes past what we think their actual goal is.

And that happens to Sandra Bullock in Speed. I mean, she thinks she wants a certain thing. She just wants to live. She just wants to make it through this day. And then she starts to really want to save this guy and want to save these people and it evolves. And your wants and needs should evolve. If they don’t, you’re going end up with something… — What happens I found once you clear the first barrier of trying to have clear goals is they become flat. And you’ll have these scripts which feel a little flat.

**Craig:** Yeah. You don’t want a movie where you’re just waiting for somebody to do the thing they said they were going to do on page five.

**Aline:** Exactly.

**Craig:** People don’t actually want to do what they’re supposed to do. Nobody wants to exercise. Nobody wants to eat better. Nobody wants to, you know, address the things that were uncomfortable or painful in their lives.

What we do want to do is take pills, and sleep, and do things that are generally papering over the problems that we have. We are really good at just taking the path of least resistance.

**John:** And so the challenge, the screenwriter needs to find ways that the characters are not going to be able to take those paths of least resistance, to continually escalate the stakes to burn those bridges behind them so they can’t go back to those safe [crosstalk].

**Craig:** That’s the fun of it. And Pixar does it so much better than everybody. It’s so simple to see what Marlin wants. Marlin wants to keep the one surviving member of his family alive. The one that’s the hardest to keep alive because of his bad fin. That’s what he wants. It makes total sense. To the point where he will refuse to let anything happen to that kid. But look where he is at the end. What he wants is to let him go and do these things, even at the risk of dying.

That’s, to me, that’s the fun of movies. That’s the fun of storytelling is watching somebody finally realize that what I want isn’t what I need.

**Aline:** And it’s fascinating to me that animated movies, lately, are the ones who really have dug into this storytelling thing in a way that’s really fascinating. I mean, they really kind of take it to the wire in terms of having these stories which are really interesting and complicated, where the characters change their wants.

In some ways I feel like they have a rigor. And it may be because they can do so many iterations.

**John:** That’s what I think it is. Because an animated film goes through scratch reel, so you’re seeing it being built up again and again. So, you get to watch the movie, it’s like, “Well that doesn’t work.” And so then you’re able to change a story and do it again and again.

Even Frozen changed tremendously over the course of their shooting. I remember the stories of new songs go in, new things come out. Suddenly the reindeer could talk, the reindeer can’t talk. You figure out what the movie really wants to be because you get to see the movie in front of you which is a luxury that we rarely have in live action.

Although you can reshoot also. You can —

**Craig:** Yeah, but much, much easier to do in animation. Plus, also, I mean, you have a lot of experience with animation. I mean, I would imagine one gift of animation in terms of making stories is when we make a live action movie the actor has an enormous amount of power on the day. Either I’m saying it or I’m not. You know?

And we, this is it, we’re here once, you know? And in animation we can just try. We can just try. Try it this way, try it that way.

**Lindsay:** Yeah, it’s true. And because I come from live action I’m always saying, “But why couldn’t somebody just write Toy Story and then make it? I don’t understand why it’s been four years getting to that screenplay. I don’t understand it.”

And the argument that came back to me originally from Chris Miller and Phil Lord was, yeah, but look at the number of great animated movies compared to the number of animated movies. And at first I bought that argument. But then I thought, wait a minute, when I’m working in animation, these are the goals: It has to be funny — laugh out loud funny; it has to make you cry; it has to be universal — it has to be so universal that kids all over the world will understand; it has to appeal to children and adults; and it has to have a theme that you want the whole world to understand.

Well, if that’s where you start, of course you’re going to make a better movie. Of course you’re going to have a better — because your goals are so high. They’re so high. On every single one I’ve worked on, and I’ve worked on about twenty now, that’s where you start. And you’re always articulate.

**Aline:** But I always think of that thing that Michael Arndt said in the New Yorker which is we work on our — he says, “We work on the Pixar movies for five years and they suck for four of them.”

**Lindsay:** Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. It’s true. But I keep thinking, why can’t —

**Aline:** There’s so many times in the live action movie —

**Craig:** Just get it right the first time.

**Aline:** There are so many times in a live action movie where you’re thinking, oh, if we only had this line covered this way. If we only could reinterpret this. If we could only get him coming from this side saying this. And you just don’t have it and it’s so hard to get. So, the fact that they have this ability to make those changes is really such an advantage. But I don’t know that that accounts totally for — I think what you said, which is the goals that they set out with are so concrete and so specific and so really what storytelling is.

**Lindsay:** Well, I know when I was at Austin this year I was on a panel about theme. And somebody said, “Does every movie you work on have a theme when you’re starting out?” And I went, “Every animated movie does.”

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Lindsay:** It’s not particularly true of every live action movie, but when you sit down that first day on an animated movie, theme is foremost in everybody’s mind. Who does that?

**Craig:** I do it.

**John:** Craig does it.

**Craig:** I do it and everybody makes fun of me.

**John:** [laughs] I never make fun of you, Craig.

**Craig:** Nah.

**John:** Nah. Never.

**Craig:** I know.

**Lindsay:** Does that help you, John?

**John:** That helps me a lot. I guess my last question for you and writers up here as well is to what degree before you started writing the script do you have answers to all those questions about what the character would say he or she wants at this moment? Because this is one of the first times I’m really challenging myself to do it before I write those scenes. And do you have an outline that would really articulate that? Or are you just going by gut feeling that like, “Yeah, she knows what she wants.”

**Aline:** For me an interesting thing was in writing Devil Wears Prada was what she wanted was just to survive that year so that she could do something else.

**John:** And does she articulate that?

**Aline:** And survive that year is not an incredibly propulsive narrative goal. And so it was very difficult to always get to her through the thing where she’s just trying to get through this, trying to get through that. But that is a movie where she takes the thing that is the most important thing and she throws it in the fountain. She literally takes the thing which is her stated goal and just kind of forgets about it and moves on from it.

And that was a good sort of object lesson for me in exactly that thing which is the thing she needed was to see that the world was different from the way she understood it. And that was different from what she wanted which was to have everyone tell her she was a genius.

And so what I think is really interesting about the theme is you can start out thinking something in particular, but I always find that as I write it I think, oh, I thought it was about this, but it’s actually about this. That always happens after the first draft that you really kind of find your theme. And I have found that countless times.

It’s very interesting — that is one of the many weird intangibles about writing is, and it’s not that the characters say it, or they teach you or whatever, but there’s sort of an emerging message that comes out of the script and it’s sort of the script knows that that’s what it wants and the characters start to tell you that.

And it’s almost impossible to know that when you go into it.

**John:** It’s like you know what happens and then finally you realize why it happens. It is just like I know this thing is this way and then ultimately like, oh, this is the reason why it’s happening this way. This is why this character is in this moment.

**Aline:** One thing I would say though which is maybe a helpful crafty thing is if you find yourself, I was just watching a movie where they had a character that was there just so that the lead character could say this is what I want and this is what the movie is about. If you find yourself doing that, try and cut that person out completely. Because it should be completely visible in the action.

And if you find yourself wanting a character who is going to show up and explain, you know, the best friend character, or the kindly train conductor, or the super helpful telemarketer, or somebody who is going to try and draw out those thematic goal things, something is wrong with your storytelling often. And you have to try and get those… — You know, you can get so much about what a character wants from action and that’s really what you want to do.

And I think when you find yourself having people say, “This is all I want is…” there might be something a little hanky in the way you’ve set it up.

**Craig:** I got to tell you I do think about this from the start. I organize my story around this very thing. I really do think about the story as a hero who is not always heroic wants simply to maintain their life of acceptable imperfection. And then the movie happens to them and they slowly start to become aware that there’s something wrong with their organizing philosophy of life, the way that they have — what they have decided their life is about, and that there may be another way to live.

And they get glimpses of it and they get hurt by sort of moving towards it. And eventually must act in accordance with faith in that thing.

**Aline:** But does that change when you’re writing it ever?

**Craig:** It can. But what that — but at least to start with and I know this: my story is connected to my character fundamentally. And if it changes I will change it so that both change together. But there is not character end of story. That story is for that character.

And, by the way, I haven’t always done this, but I’m doing it now. It’s something that I’ve come to and I believe in. So, I would say to you if you’re thinking about that, think about how the only difference between your character in the first scene where we meet her or him and the final scene is that they’ve changed their mind about this most fundamental philosophical question.

**Aline:** And here’s a question I ask maybe Lindsay at what point in the writing process did they write, “I was a better man as a woman than I ever was as a man.” You know? I don’t think they wrote that on day one.

**Lindsay:** Well, when I was working for Sydney Pollack, but not when he was making Tootsie, after that, but he said, you know, when he was asked to do it, because it was supposed to be Hal Ashby or something, and pretty close to production Hal Ashby dropped out and suddenly Sydney was dropped in. And he said that was thing about being a better man by being a woman, that theme was when he sort of decided to do the movie.

He said, “Once I knew that, I knew what to do with everything. I knew there had to be a baby over here so we have a baby over there.”

**Craig:** It tells you what the story is.

**Lindsay:** Yeah. It was like I knew exactly how to —

**Craig:** It tells you what the challenges are. It tells you how it should end.

**Lindsay:** How to organize it.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Aline:** But can I tell you a really interesting thing? Sometimes you go to make the movie and the director has a different idea of what the theme was.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**Aline:** And I was just talking to somebody who wrote a movie which is a great movie and is up for Oscar buzz and stuff and he was saying that his idea of what the movie was about was different from what the director’s movie was about. And he said to me, “I think my movie is still in there.” But it really is this thing where because that is the intangible, you can always say to someone, well, they need to get the briefcase to Moscow by noon, but if you say to them this movie to me is about someone who understands that love is more important than money, you maybe be giving it to a filmmaker who thinks something completely differently.

**Craig:** Yup.

**Aline:** And what’s really interesting to me is I have made movies where I thought, oh, they’re still going to see what I wanted to do. They’re still going to see what I wanted to do. I know it’s in there. And it wasn’t in there. And it can be the same similar scenes and similar characters and similar dialogue and the thing that made you want to write the movie and the thing you were trying to say can disappear down the bathtub drain. And that’s one of the very strange things about being a screenwriter.

**Lindsay:** One of the things I’ve learned as a script whisperer, because I do all this consulting on things, when I come in on high level, high priority development, is I have everybody in the room, the producer, the writer, the studio executive, the director, whoever is there take a piece of paper without showing it to anybody else, say what is the most important relationship in this movie.

**Craig:** Oof.

**Lindsay:** And frequently I get four different answers.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**Lindsay:** And that conversation is where you discover what everybody thinks the movie is about, what the last scene should be. You know, somebody said, your Devil Wears Prada, it’s about her and the boyfriend. You go, wow, that’s a different movie than if it’s her and Miranda, and that’s a different, you know what I mean? Or it’s Stanley Tucci. It’s like all of those are interesting movies, but everybody has to know who that last scene is about.

**Aline:** And I would actually say in some respects you know you’re in a good process when everyone is saying the same thing. If you actually looked at someone’s piece of paper and went like, “Ooh!”

**Lindsay:** And when that happens they don’t need me, because it means they are all on the same page. And it’s like only when —

**Craig:** What a bummer for you when they know and they’re like, “Get out!”

**Lindsay:** But usually the reason I’m there, the reason that everybody is having problems is that they haven’t quite all figured out that they’re making different movies. And then it’s about everybody figuring out what movie they want to make.

**John:** Well I know that we need you both very much. So, thank you very much for this discussion.

**Craig:** Thanks guys. Thank you.

**Aline:** Thank you very much.

**Craig:** Now it gets weird.

**John:** Now it gets weird.

**Craig:** Now it gets weird.

**John:** Because we know the history on these things.

**Craig:** Yeah, yeah, here we go.

**John:** You’re going to set this up because I don’t even know what to say. You like it when I’m drunk and you saw me drunk.

**Craig:** I love it when you’re drunk. Austin John August is the best John August. We just had the best time with these two. I would love for them to get married.

**John:** Oh my god!

**Craig:** Because then Kelly Marcel would become Kelly Kelly, which is so exciting.

So, we have — I’d like to welcome up here for a discussion of good and bad habits, mostly probably bad, but maybe a few good. Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko fame and Kelly Marcel of Saving Mr. Banks.

And normally, I mean, this is just working out great because I’m sure you haven’t been busy or anything.

**Kelly:** No.

**Craig:** Kelly’s film opens wide tomorrow.

**John:** Tomorrow! Woo!

**Craig:** And it’s really good. Really good.

**John:** Yeah, so Kelly when you were on our last live show in Austin I had not seen your film yet, and so I got to see it right after Austin. It was fantastic.

**Kelly:** You were my date.

**John:** I was your date. What was so wild is you’ve been basically promoting this film that entire time since we last spoke.

**Kelly:** And the month prior to Austin as well. Three months.

**John:** So, that’s a thing we have not really talked about on the show is what the writer’s function is in promoting a film, an award-caliber film that you’ve written.

**Kelly:** I had no idea that you had to do this much stuff to open a movie. I don’t know if it’s the same for every writer. And I think it’s been like this — I think it’s been this crazy because it’s a film that’s got a lot of award buzz. But, we worked out, John Lee and I worked out the other night that we’d had five days off including weekends in three months.

So, I’m a little bit tired. This is the last night of anything I have to do.

**Craig:** Yay!

**John:** It’s Kelly’s last night everyone!

**Kelly:** I’m going to get so drunk…

**Craig:** Well, this means that we could probably get her to say anything tonight. I feel like this is the night.

**Kelly:** This is the night.

**Craig:** Where she calls Walt Disney a Nazi.

**John:** [laughs] Yes.

**Kelly:** [Gasps]

**Craig:** Tonight!

**Kelly:** Melissa! Beat him up.

**Craig:** Oh, no, she’s not going to help. No, no, she loves this chaos. She loves chaos. That’s my wife, Melissa, she’s over there. It’s my wife. I’m married!

**John:** She’s a real person.

**Craig:** Just wave so they know you’re real.

**Kelly:** She just said no. [laughs] No.

**Craig:** That’s it? We’re done?

**John:** She’s gotten embarrassed of this podcast.

**Craig:** We’re done? Yeah. All right. Well…

**John:** And Richard Kelly, we got to hang out some more in Austin, too, and I had known you before Austin but I didn’t kind of really know you until Austin.

**Craig:** And I still don’t know him really. Can you know Richard Kelly?

**Richard:** Yeah, it takes some time. Yeah. [laughs]

**John:** So, since we had a great conversation about Donnie Darko, but you like Kelly are sort of strongly identified with the films you’ve made. And so does it become exhausting at a certain point to be the ongoing representative of the Donnie Darko franchise, of this thing you made?

At what point are you allowed to sort of say like, “You know what? I made that movie, that’s awesome, and now I’m going to go be Richard Kelly over here by myself.”

**Richard:** Yeah, well I mean, listen, it’s a blessing to have a film that stays with people and it continues to haunt you and be tattooed somewhere on your body, or on other people’s bodies usually.

**Craig:** He’s so weird. So weird. I love it.

**Richard:** I’ll take it. I’ll take it. But, listen, it’s all about constantly just evolving and trying to reinvent yourself. And not write the same movie over and over again, or not direct the same movie over and over again. And I think that’s tricky in this business because they always want to, like I said, put you in a category or a box, so to speak.

And for me in sort of trying to evolve as a writer I’ve been trying to just venture out into different kinds of stories. And change things up. You know, it’s like when you work out at the gym you’re supposed to change your weight lifting habit every few weeks.

**Craig:** We do that.

**John:** Yeah, that’s us. That’s us totally.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** You can tell here that this…

**Richard:** But it’s constantly just like changing the way you’re exercising your muscles or your brain. And I don’t know, it’s just switching up the process I’ve found.

**John:** Well, and we’re approaching 2014, so are there any things you want to change up for 2014, or any things that you see in yourself that you want to do differently for 2014, especially in terms of you’re writing, your craft, your filmmaking. Is there anything?

**Richard:** Well, I’ve been writing for myself for probably three years. I’ve written probably three or four scripts over the past three to four years of all different kinds of genres. And I’ve been pushing into new territory. But I think for me it’s about getting back behind the camera, obviously, but in terms of writing, I think venturing into a place where I’m doing like two to three hours a day of really essentially work and that’s it.

I used to try to think I needed to write all day.

**Craig:** Not possible.

**Richard:** That I needed to. And it was just a mistake. I was writing too much. I was over-thinking things. I was creating too many characters that were extraneous. And it was actually an unhealthy process. So, I think I’ve learned now it’s like you just need to make sure when your brain is the most functional, what time of day is that, what environment do you need to be in. It’s a very almost — it’s like a dietary exercise thing in a lot of ways. Not to be too physiological.

**Craig:** No, no, totally applies to us as well.

**John:** Not at all.

Kelly, how about you? Your 2014. Do you have any things you are looking at doing now or in this new year that are different?

**Kelly:** Having a little sleep.

**John:** Sleep is so good.

**Craig:** Sleep.

**Kelly:** Really just want to do that mainly. No, I think I’m going to do some television next year.

**John:** That would be great.

**Kelly:** There was a TV… — When I sold Terra Nova, that brilliant show, [laughs] I also sold another show, I told you tonight’s the night I can just say anything.

**Craig:** Here we go.

**Kelly:** I sold another show called West Bridge to Showtime which went into development but never got made and now because of Banks it’s been picked up. And so we’re going to do it as like a closed end series. So, that will be exciting.

**John:** So, talk about your writing though during this time, because you’ve been so busy doing —

**Kelly:** There is no writing.

**John:** There’s no writing at all?

**Kelly:** There’s no writing.

**Craig:** Very disappointed to hear.

**John:** But I’ve not done as much writing during the whole Big Fish thing as I wanted to, so it’s been exciting to get back into it. But are you on the Richard Kelly plan of a couple hours a day, or what’s your thing?

**Kelly:** I’m trying to do what you told me to do, [laughs], in Austin which is just do three hours a day. And it doesn’t matter which three hours that is. Just do three hours. But, you know, really the way my life works at the moment is I wake up, the phone starts ringing, I do press, I do phone interviews, all that —

**Craig:** Don’t forget the hair and makeup people.

**Kelly:** The fucking hair and makeup people. Swear to god if someone comes near me with another makeup brush! Um, yeah.

**Craig:** We also have a lot.

**John:** Yeah, you can tell. You can tell.

**Kelly:** They call it “grooming,” like I’m a dog.

**Craig:** Yes!

**Kelly:** You need to be groomed.

So, phone interviews happen all day and then I don’t think there’s been a night this week that I haven’t done a Q — I was on this stage last night doing a Q&A. It’s every single night.

**Craig:** And that is, I mean, I have to just say, one of the worst things about Q&As, when you’re doing Q&As for a movie is that you will be asked the same question over and over and over and you start to lose your mind. It’s a weird form of mental torture to be asked the same question over and over and over.

**Kelly:** Yeah. I started to make things up.

**Craig:** Out of curiosity, what’s the one? What’s the one that is driving you the most crazy so that I can now ask it.

**Kelly:** Ha! Normally the Banks questions are kind of what they are, but obviously everybody wants to know about Fifty Shades of Grey. So, I’ve started to tell everyone I’m a virgin and that I don’t really know —

**Craig:** You’re not? I bought that.

**Kelly:** No, that’s true. Yeah. And that a really good friend of mine had told me that, you know, when you have sex like what you have to do is sit on a rabbit or a duck and then you rub a bald man’s head. And then you either get pregnant or flowers. And that doesn’t seem to going down too well with the studio funnily enough.

**Craig:** Walt Disney is not impressed.

**Kelly:** No. [laughs]

**John:** Craig, are you a two or three hour, you’re a two or three hour work person. And what are your two or three hours, because I’ve started to try to make it the morning so that I can get stuff done. The first thing I do when I get in the office, I don’t do anything until I’ve written stuff.

**Craig:** I’m not that way. But what I will do is my plan is as I’m going to bed I’ve actually found a pattern. I didn’t realize I had one, but I found one. As I’m going to bed I start thinking about the next day’s work. And then I fall asleep. And I don’t worry about writing anything down because we all know when your dreams are nonsense.

But then when I wake up and I take a shower, I take a very long shower and in the shower I start to think about the scene. Once I’m out of the shower I should — I usually have a sense of what it is I’m going to write. If I don’t, I know it ain’t happening that day. But if I do, then I know I have all day to pick the three hours. And it’s just waiting for the moment. And then I do it.

**John:** So, Melissa, how long are the showers?

**Craig:** [laughs] She’s not in there with me when this is happening.

**John:** What’s a long Craig Mazin shower?

**Melissa Mazin:** Oh, I don’t know.

**Craig:** That’s my wife. There you go. 15? No.

**John:** Only 15? No.

**Craig:** No, no.

**Melissa:** 20 minutes. I don’t know.

**Craig:** Do you live with me? [laughs] It’s never when she’s there by the way. Here’s the other thing: She wakes up at 6:30 in the morning. I’m going to bed sometimes at 6:30 in the morning. So, she wakes up, she’s gone. So, now I’m talking like 9:30 or 10 I go into the shower. Easily sometimes I’ll go for a half an hour. Easily.

**Kelly:** Why does she get up at 6:30 and you get up at 9:30?

**Richard:** Uh, because he’s a writer.

**Kelly:** This is bullshit.

**Craig:** I got to go. [laughs]

**John:** Because she’s the parent who gets the kids off to school I bet.

**Craig:** She’s the responsible one.

**Kelly:** So you don’t help taking the kids to school or anything like that?

**Craig:** This is neither the time nor place, [laughs], to discuss this matter. We’ll talk about it later.

**Kelly:** I’ve got your back, Melissa.

**Craig:** I regret everything. Everything! This is kind of where it was eventually going to go.

**John:** You still have like the benefits of a bachelor writer life.

**Craig:** I do. Actually she’s great about that. Actually, I will say that if you have somebody that you share your life with who understands what you do and gives you the flexibility and space to do, that’s wonderful.

Now, if six years go by and you haven’t sold anything, that person is going to get super grumpy…

Yeah, she’s like, “Yeah!” She’s like, “I am super grumpy.”

**John:** What is the difference between like an aspiring screenwriter and a freeloader? It’s a really fine line.

**Craig:** It’s so…it’s right there. But, you know, assuming that you are actually earning a living then it’s nice to know that you’re living with somebody who kind of gives you the space you need to do the crazy job that we do.

**John:** Yeah.

**Kelly:** Like sleeping in?

**Craig:** I am so uncomfortable.

**Richard:** Well, the thing is if you’re only really required to work three hours a day, sleeping in is not that big a deal.

**Kelly:** Right.

**Craig:** Thank you, Richard Kelly!

**Richard:** And you need the sleep to rest your brain so you can make those three hours count.

**Craig:** Great point, Richard Kelly!

**Kelly:** No, but my argument is if it’s only three hours a day then there’s all the other hours in the day to help out, right?

**Craig:** That makes no sense.

**Richard:** There’s things like Angry Birds.

**Kelly:** And that’s how you make films.

**John:** And the gym. Don’t forget to go to the gym. That’s another crucial thing here.

**Craig:** Right. Although I’m also forgetting to go to the gym.

**Richard:** It takes a good hour and a half to go [crosstalk].

**John:** Yeah.

**Kelly:** Look at those guns.

**Craig:** I actually think I could fill enormous wads of my day with nothing. I don’t even know what happens. I don’t know what happens. But I do say, look, if you are writing a screenplay I will say this: I’ve never missed a deadline in my career. Not once. I am really responsible. I don’t know how. I just know that by this day it’s happening. And I’ve always gotten there, so I am very responsible. I’m very routinized in certain ways. In other ways, maybe not so much. What the hell! [laughs]

I mean, ugh…

**John:** Well, we’ll be able to ask more questions about Craig and his life during the Q&A.

**Craig:** Yes.

**John:** But, Kelly, congratulations on your movie. Congratulations on all you’ve done with this part of it.

**Kelly:** Thank you.

**John:** Kelly Marcel, you don’t naively think that you’re done doing press?

**Craig:** Oh no.

**Kelly:** What?!

**John:** No, there will be more.

**Craig:** What?!

**John:** But for now you’re movie is coming out and congratulations, that’s awesome. Richard Kelly, thank you again for being here.

**Craig:** Richard Kelly. The great Richard Kelly.

**Richard:** Well, thanks for having me.

**John:** You guys can get up because we’re going to start our wrap here.

**Craig:** Get off. [laughs]

**John:** We have so many people to thank.

**Craig:** You especially. [laughs]

**Kelly:** Ha!

**John:** We need to thank the Writers Guild Foundation, the giant logo behind us. So, thank you very much for hosting us again. LA Film School for this venue, which was great, and so helpful —

**Craig:** Thank you LA Film School.

**John:** I need to thank Matthew Chilelli. Matthew, are you here? I never actually — he’s right there. He wrote a lot of the best outros you’ve heard. He also wrote the Christmas —

**Craig:** This guy is cool.

**John:** He’s pretty great. He also wrote the opening music that you heard tonight, sort of the holiday remix of the [hums Scriptnotes theme].

**Craig:** It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a mundane tune. Thank you so much.

**John:** Yes. It’s really remarkable what you’ve been able to do. So, thank you again for writing these for us. Thank you.

**Craig:** Thank you. Wait, what about, are you going to get to them?

**John:** I’ll get to them eventually. We’ll thank Stuart Friedel. Stuart Friedel —

**Craig:** Stuart! Stand up, Stuart!

**John:** Tonight the role of Stuart Friedel will be played by this —

**Craig:** Stuart is played by this actor, Brett Goldfarb.

**John:** [laughs] Yeah, he’s fantastic.

So, the Writers Guild Foundation who is this giant slide behind me, every year they have this holiday sale of Extraordinary Experiences, which you can find on their website, so wgfoundation.com.

**Craig:** This is the charitable. They are not part of the union. They are a 501c3 not-for-profit charitable organization. Great organization.

**John:** They do great work with veterans groups, with other aspiring writers, schools, all sorts of special programs. Once a year they do the sale of Extraordinary Experiences where you can have lunch with a certain given writer, or coffee, or someone will read your script.

So, if you go to the website you will see the Extraordinary Experiences that they have up for sale. This year some of our panelists will be also offering new special things after tonight, because we will strong arm them. So, I would encourage you to go there because it’s a great organization and it’s a great way for them to raise some money to pay for the eggnog you had here tonight.

**Craig:** Argh!

**John:** Ugh.

**Craig:** It coats your mouth.

**John:** Yeah. It’s good if you have like hot spicy food though. Insulation.

**Craig:** No, because you’re putting heat next to milk. It’s disgusting.

**John:** Well, at least we’ve bookended the show with the talk of eggnog.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**John:** So, Craig, thank you, and have a very happy holidays.

**Craig:** I thought you actually meant that.

**John:** See! I can feign sincerity when I need to.

**Craig:** Merry Christmas to you, John.

**John:** Aw, thank you, Craig.

**Craig:** I always mean it.

**John:** And thank you all very much for being here.

**Craig:** Thank you guys.

Links:

* [Aline Brosh McKenna](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0112459/) on episodes [60](http://johnaugust.com/2012/the-black-list-and-a-stack-of-scenes), [76](http://johnaugust.com/2013/how-screenwriters-find-their-voice), [100](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-100th-episode), [101](http://johnaugust.com/2013/101-qa-from-the-live-show) and [119](http://johnaugust.com/2013/positive-moviegoing)
* [Franklin Leonard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franklin_Leonard) on episode [60](http://johnaugust.com/2012/the-black-list-and-a-stack-of-scenes)
* [Kelly Marcel](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2813876/) on episode [115](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-back-to-austin-with-rian-johnson-and-kelly-marcel)
* [Lindsay Doran](http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/15/movies/lindsay-doran-examines-what-makes-films-satisfying.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0) on episode [68](http://johnaugust.com/2012/talking-austen-in-austin)
* [Rawson Marshall Thurber](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1098493/) on episodes [100](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-100th-episode) and [101](http://johnaugust.com/2013/101-qa-from-the-live-show)
* [Richard Kelly](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0446819/) on episode [118](http://johnaugust.com/2013/time-travel-with-richard-kelly)
* The [2013 Black List](http://list.blcklst.com/story/7887) and [blcklst.com](http://blcklst.com/)
* The New Yorker on [live action versus animation](http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/10/17/111017fa_fact_friend?currentPage=all)
* [Saving Mr. Banks](http://movies.disney.com/saving-mr-banks) is in theaters now
* Thank you to the [Writers Guild Foundation](https://www.wgfoundation.org/) and the [LA Film School](http://www.lafilm.edu/) for hosting
* Support the Writers Guild Foundation and get something awesome from their [Holiday Sale of Extraordinary Experiences](https://www.wgfoundation.org/holiday-fundraiser/)
* [Intro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Scriptnotes listener Matthew Chilelli
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Scriptnotes listener Fred Tepper

Scriptnotes, Ep 119: Positive Moviegoing — Transcript

December 1, 2013 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found [here](http://johnaugust.com/2013/positive-moviegoing).

**John August:** Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

**Craig Mazin:** Hello and welcome. My name is Craig Mazin.

**John:** And this is Episode 119, the Positive Moviegoing episode of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

And we are so lucky because we have our very first guest, the sort of guest who set the template for a guest on Scriptnotes would be like. Aline Brosh McKenna is here in the studio.

**Craig:** Woo!

**Aline Brosh McKenna:** Woot-woot-woot!

**John:** How are you, Aline?

**Aline:** I’m doing well. I’m doing very well. I’m happy to be here.

**John:** Now it’s almost Thanksgiving. Do you have big Thanksgiving plans for you and your family?

**Aline:** We don’t. I don’t cook. We go out to dinner.

**John:** How very nice.

**Aline:** It’s great. I really love it.

**Craig:** [Long Island accent] “I don’t cook.”

**Aline:** No, it’s too much for me to do.

**Craig:** “We go out to dinner.” Where can you even go?

**Aline:** [Long Island accent] You got to set up the order.

**Craig:** Where do you?

**Aline:** We go to a lovely place in the mountains near Malibu where they cook game and you eat game.

**Craig:** Oh, you don’t do the normal Jewish thing of just Chinese food? [laughs]

**John:** I thought that was only Christmas?

**Aline:** No, that’s Christmas. Christmas is Chinese food and a movie.

**Craig:** Right.

**Aline:** What are you doing, Craig?

**Craig:** We have some friends coming over and another lovely half-Jewish, half-super not Jewish family in La Cañada. And we are going to have an excellent Thanksgiving. We’re going to be making all of our own food. I’m cooking multiple desserts and side dishes. And the, actually, you should know this guy, John. I mean, you don’t know him, but you should meet him. He’s great. His name is Josh and he does lighting design for operas and musical theater. He’s worked down at La Jolla and up at Santa Barbara Opera House and Minnesota. And he’s a cool guy.

So, anyway, we’re having a combined Thanksgiving and —

**Aline:** I love that Craig, who lost a titanic amount of weight, is the expert pie and cake maker.

**Craig:** Ain’t that the way it goes?

**John:** I, too, am having a bunch of people over for Thanksgiving. I’ll be making pies. I’ll be making the turkey. It’s the one day a year that I sort of go back to the full Martha Stewart mode. My former assistant Dana Fox and I, she and I every day would watch Martha Stewart Living, back when it was the filmed show, not that horrible live before an audience thing. Back when it was the true Martha Stewart. We would watch it. And that’s the day that my inner Martha Stewart comes out and I cook hard.

**Craig:** Mmm. I know. I love cooking hard. [laughs]

**John:** [laughs] Today, on the podcast, we are going to be talking about a lot of topics. Aline brought two. I brought one. Craig brought one. But first we have to talk about the Live holiday show. We are recording this on the Wednesday that the tickets went on sale and I think we’re kind of sold out. We’re not fully sold out, but a lot of people are coming, which is great.

The live show is December 19. It is at the LA Film School. It is a benefit for the Writers Guild Foundation. There’s a few tickets that have been held back. So there’s a chance that even if we are completely sold out on paper we will be releasing some more tickets. So, do follow us on Twitter and we may announce that there’s still some more tickets left.

But out lineup for the show is incredible, including Aline Brosh McKenna.

**Craig:** McKenna!

**John:** Derek Haas.

**Craig:** Haas!

**John:** Kelly Marcel.

**Craig:** Marcel!

**John:** Richard Kelly.

**Craig:** Richard Kelly!

**John:** Rawson Thurber.

**Craig:** Thurber!

**John:** Franklin Leonard and Lindsay Doran.

**Craig:** Leonard and Doran! Leonard and Doran, I think, was a great boxing match. Wasn’t that — ?

**John:** Yes, it’s a classic —

**Craig:** Was it Doran? Well, it was Durán, but anyway, I’d like to see the two of them fight. Money is on Doran.

**John:** I think the fight is going to be epic. So, that will be a fun show.

But, today on the show we’re going to talk about four topics. Aline suggested we talk about outline failure and why it’s important to befriend other writers.

I want to talk about this article about going broke in your 50s.

**Aline:** Oh, you sent it to me. I should have read it. I didn’t read it. You’ll tell me what it is.

**Craig:** We’ll summarize.

**John:** We’ll fill you in on the details.

**Craig:** “I don’t cook. I don’t read.”

**Aline:** [Long Island accent] I order. I order.

**Craig:** “I order.”

**John:** And Craig wanted to talk about positive moviegoing, which I’m not even sure what it means, so Craig start us out. What is positive moviegoing?

**Craig:** Well, it’s this thing I’ve been thinking about lately because this is the time of year when all the so-called “good” movies come out. And a lot of them are actually good movies. But I noticed that there’s — I think it’s just we live in a time of snarkiness and suspicion and nobody seems to want to like anything. People a lot of times go into theaters with their arms crossed, especially in Los Angeles. We’re all in the business. And I think people go to movies and they’re already — they’re demanding to hate them. And they’re prejudging them. And you could do it for — you name any movie and I could just sort of come up with some pretext for hating it.

And so what I really have been trying to do is when I go to movie to go wanting to love it. And accepting everything about it for at least 20 minutes. So, I don’t care what happens in the first twenty minutes. I am on board. I will accept it and I will attempt to enjoy it as best I can. I will give myself to the movie.

And then at some point, okay, you know, listen, sometimes you just don’t like movies. Sometimes they disappoint. Sometimes they anger you because you hate them so much. And that’s okay. I’m not denying that that can happen. But I’ve really been trying to just give myself over to movies.

So, I went and I saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. And I went in, just gave myself to the movie. And I loved it. And I think I would have loved it anyway, but I think it helped that I wasn’t judging. I just decided nobody else goes to movies to judge. Why do we go to movies to judge? Can’t we just enjoy them?

Anyway, that’s my thing, positive moviegoing.

**John:** So, what you’re describing is almost like — I can picture the body language of it. It’s like you’re sitting down in your seat. You’re not crossing your arms in front of you saying like, “Okay, impress me.”

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** You’re saying, “I’m here. I’m eager to be entertained. I will follow you wherever you go. And take me on a journey.” That’s the message you’re trying to send to this movie.

**Craig:** That’s right. Sort of like meeting somebody at a party and they start to tell you a story. You’re standing there. So be nice. Listen to it. Give it a shot, you know. I just get so depressed when I see people ripping movies apart before they even see them.

**Aline:** Yeah, I agree. I think it’s easy to hate things and to bag on things. I think it’s just, it makes people feel fashionable and intellectual. And it’s harder — it takes more effort to go out there and say, “You know what? Even if it wasn’t perfect, even if things aren’t prefect, sometimes things that you love are the imperfect perfect thing.” But going in there with an attitude of like, “I’m going to enjoy this. I paid my money to enjoy this, not to find something that I can sit down with my friends later and pick to shreds?’

**Craig:** Yeah. And it will happen that we will encounter movies that infuriate us. And we will pick them to shreds. And we will pick them to shreds. And if you’ve earned that experience, so you’ve earned it. But there is something to be said for letting yourself be entertained and not attempt to make yourself feel better by pushing a movie away.

And frankly even the feeling that, okay, it’s not perfect. Yeah! [laughs] How often does that happen? You know?

**Aline:** Yeah.

**Craig:** I mean, movies win Oscars and people go, “Oh my god, that piece of crap won an Oscar.” Perfection is irrelevant, you know.

I almost think, okay, mistakes aren’t really mistakes. It’s just, you know, no more than I got from here to there on a road and it was a really enjoyable journey and there was a pothole. It’s just part of it.

**Aline:** And I also think it’s very Christmas-y.

**John:** It’s very Christmas-y.

Now, on some level are we talking about expectation? Because I find that a lot of times the movies that I enjoy most were the ones where my expectations were not set too high going into them. And that’s why I love to see a movie during its opening weekend before everyone has sort of told me what I’m supposed to think and feel about it.

Because when I come into a theater with a set of expectations, nothing can surprise me. And I’m sort of preconditioned to think this is how I’m supposed to feel about this particular entertainment.

**Aline:** Yeah. I miss the days of just going to see a movie and knowing nothing about it.

**Craig:** Right!

**Aline:** My parents would drive us to the Paramus Park, we used to call it the Millionplex. It had 14 theaters. And they would just drop us off there and we would see the 7:30, whatever it was, and just be happy. That’s how I saw Pee-wee’s Big Adventure which, you know, pleasantly surprised us. We laughed. Fell out of our chairs laughing.

We also saw Yor, The Hunter From the Future that way.

**Craig:** Yeah. Good one.

**Aline:** And just you don’t have that surprise anymore. You’ve been so inundated with media before you go to see a movie now, that I miss the days of just thinking like, “I just want to see a movie. Let’s see what’s out there.” I miss that.

**John:** Yeah, I remember seeing 9 to 5 that way. So, I was a kid dropped off at the theater and the theater we were supposed to go to — they dropped us off at the wrong movie, essentially. So, we saw 9 to 5. I was far too young to see 9 to 5, which is the best way to see 9 to 5, because they’re smoking pot, and having sex, and all these things.

**Aline:** Stringing people up.

**John:** I also remember in college going to see, we ended up seeing The Handmaid’s Tale because the other movie we wanted to see was completely sold out. We had no idea what the movie was. And that’s so incredibly rewarding when you sit in, the only information you have is what the filmmakers are giving you frame-by-frame as the story unfolds.

You had that experience of positive moviegoing because you weren’t preconceived with what we were supposed to feel. There was no expectation about what to —

**Aline:** And you haven’t checked a review aggregator that’s giving you 60 opinions before you even set foot there.

**Craig:** Yeah, or your Twitter feed, or comedians teeing up. Or whatever, anything. Or even articles that are insisting that it’s the most important thing of all time.

It’s funny. 9 to 5 was the first movie I think I saw, I was dropped off to see on my own. I remember it was like a weird triple date, like a weird triple fifth-grade date. What were our parents thinking? But, you know, I really make an effort now when I sit in the movie theater before the movie starts to blank my mind completely. I just say, go ahead movie, ride all over me and let’s see where this goes.

**John:** Some of my favorite experiences are actually like when you see the three trailers, or the four trailers, and then like the real movie starts and you’ve forgotten what the movie was that you’re supposed to — you have to check the ticket to see what movie is this. Oh right, it’s the Muppets! But it is very exciting.

Now, let’s talk for a second as filmmakers, as screenwriters, is there anything we can do in those opening pages or in the opening minutes of a movie to get people in the positive moviegoing experience. What is that like from our side as writers to hopefully foster that good spirit?

**Craig:** Well, I do have one thing that lately I’ve been tending to do, and that is write a credit sequence. It became out of fashion. All movies — well, originally movies used to have these opening credit sequences that includes even the credits that we now call end credits, you know, where there are logos and rosters of people. But then the standard opening credit sequences, that became out of fashion. And for a long time all the credits went in the back of the movie. So, you just started the movie.

I really like credit sequences. I like opening credit sequences. The opening credits for Mitty are beautiful. And I think that that helps kind of get everybody situated and in the mood. So, I’ve been doing that lately.

**John:** I will also write credit sequences in movies where I feel it’s appropriate. More than anything I try to make sure that the reader and therefore the viewer feels confident. Like, trust me, this is going to be a ride that you will enjoy taking with me. You’re going to feel rewarded and smart on this journey. We know what we’re doing. Everything is going to be okay.

And I mean that shows up in sort of your word selection on those first pages, but also just making sure no one is confused in a bad way in those first pages. Making sure that there is — if it’s a funny movie, you need to have something funny happen really quickly, so everyone sort of gets what the world of your movie is.

**Aline:** My husband has a thing where we’ll go to see a movie, and sometimes movies take forever just to get going, and he’ll turn to me at some point and say, “When does the movie start,” 20 minutes into the movie. Because sometimes it just seems like, especially because we do know what movies we’re going to see, it does seem like if you’re taking 15 minutes to get us acquainted with what we’ve seen on the poster, that makes me a little itchy.

And I think our attention span for that has probably changed a bunch, too. But I think it’s great to see if you can get to the heart of the matter so the audience knows what movie they are seeing.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** I think that’s a great segue to a talk that you proposed, which is outline failure, because what we’re really talking is the structure of the story and when things are happening. And structure is really when stuff happens. So, talk to me about outline failure and what you mean by outlines failing.

**Aline:** Well, you guys I know have talked about outlining a lot on the show, and it’s always very interesting, and it’s something that people will always ask on panels and such is about outlining. And I think we all outline in different ways. But I think — I don’t really know any writers who don’t outline at all, or few.

And some outline after the fact. Some write a draft and then outline. But what I think is interesting is I do do outlines. I try not to do written outlines, submit written outlines, because I find that people get bogged down in the details of a written outline. But I do spoken — I will pitch an outline and I will pitch an outline to everybody. And before I start writing I tend to try and pitch an outline to as many people as I can, the producer, the studio, anybody who will listen to the outline so that I can tell it like I’m telling a story.

And often when you’re telling it you realize, oh, that’s not good, or that’s boring, or this patch needs to go here or there, or that doesn’t make sense.

But what never ceases to amaze me is, you know, it’s one of those phenomena when you’re writing which is you want to try and break it down into math. And you want to break it down into cards. And we all want to feel like we have control over it. And it never ceases to amaze me that you’ll outline something, you’ll go see six people and pitch to them, you’ll put it on cards, you’ll sit down and start writing, and it’s usually page 65 is where it happens, where you start looking at your outline and you’re thinking, “This is crazy. Like why did everyone let me do this? Why didn’t everyone know that this is riddled with flaws and the character has just changed on a dime for no reason.”

I’ve always contended that 70 to 90 are the rocky shoals, the rapids, where your movie either comes together and moves out into the next plane, or you start to realize that you’ve got some inherent flaws. But what is really fascinating is you can’t really tell until you write it. And as long as I’ve been doing this, I have found some outlines I’m going through, congratulating myself, and just thinking, “Wow, I really planned this out.” And some I’m thinking like, “Oh, I don’t know.”

But, at some point you always get to a point of thinking like, “Who are these people who I work with who allowed me to think that these were good ideas?” You actually get angry. And I don’t really know, I don’t know what the cure for this is besides writing through there. And I think it’s funny, because I just moved, and it’s kind of a similar process. You think, you know, we’re going to put the couch there. We’re going to put this ottoman here, we’re going to put this here. And then you show up and you put it there and you’re like, “This is hideous. This is ten times too large. Why did anyone think this was going to fit here?”

And I guess it just shows planning is — it’s just plans. And so you really do feel like you go into a war, you top off your canteen, you take as many weapons as you can, and then you get there and the enemy has gone on the run and gone into the bush. They had flying robots you didn’t know about. And all of a sudden you have to change your game plan. That’s one of those things that kind of separates the way I write now from the way I did in the beginning which was in the beginning I would really get very disheartened and think, “Why has this happened? What is the critical flaw in my process?”

And now I just accept, you know, okay, we’re experiencing some problem with the hydraulics in the outline. And need to make adjustments on the fly. And sometimes that process of trying to figure out why your outline has crumbled beneath you, often those are the critical — that’s the critical passage where you find out what your movie is really about, because 70 to 90 is where you’re sort of on the upslope to figuring out what problem is this person really solving. What problem is this character really solving? And you may have the wrong problem. And you may have the wrong thematic. And sort of that’s where you figure it out.

So, I’ve learned somewhat to try not to beat myself up about it, but for those out there who are staring out their outline, ripping their hair out, it happens.

**John:** I’m outlining something right now, and I do find that as I go through previous episodes of trying to outline these movies I will have so many beats figured out so precisely in that sort of first half of the movie, and then there’s a stage in which I’m just sort of like waving my hands and saying, “And then we get to this last thing.” And it’s that hand-waving section that you’re like, there’s really no connective tissue that’s getting me from that point to that point. And if characters are having to make these big jump transitions that don’t really make sense — you find characters who are doing things because I need them to do that, not because it’s the natural thing for them to do.

**Aline:** That’s a really good point. And I think Craig has talked about this, too. When you pitch a movie, let’s say you pitch for 15 minutes, you probably spend nine minutes on the first 35 pages. And one of the other rookie mistakes I would make is you end up, the first part of your script is like a finely scrimshawed piece of bone that you have added all these details to. And then when you get to 50 it’s like, “Yeah, and then some stuff happens, and then some other stuff happens.” And that’s endemic to the storytelling most of the time is spent on the setup.

**Craig:** Well, this is why I outline actually. I don’t outline for the beginning of the movie, or the first half of the movie, because you’re right — I think we have an innate sense of the world we want to build and the person we want to put in it. And what the problem is. And that big wrecking ball that comes through the wall that changes everything.

I outline specifically to avoid the hand-waving section. Really, I will spend most of my outlining energy on page 60 to page 90 because I won’t start if I don’t know how the movie ends. I can’t start if I don’t know how the movie begins. But, that are right in there, that’s where you’re absolutely right, Aline. That is where all the gunk, the sub-textual character gunk starts to burble out. And the character as we understood them is breaking down dramatically and violently and then being put back together again by themselves.

It’s a scary area in every movie. And if you do it well it’s the best part of every movie. So, that’s why I outline.

Now, that said, of course — you know, we write a screenplay and then somebody has to go make it a movie. Well, that experience of turning a screenplay into a movie is a bit like the experience of turning an outline into a screenplay. And somewhere along the way the experience of doing it starts to change how you feel about it and what you understand about it. You have to remain flexible. And you can’t afford to let your outline become your boss.

The fact that other people don’t see these pitfalls and can’t warn you about them is not shocking is it? I mean, if you didn’t see it, what were the odds they were going to see it?

**Aline:** So, let me ask you a question — oh, sorry.

**John:** What Aline describes though in that process of pitching things, that is the natural way you pitch things. And you pitch very much like the setups of everything, and then you sort of rush through the other things. And that’s just the natural way you pitch things. So, that’s what you’ve been doing as you’ve been describing these projects to people is that stuff. And it’s natural to sort of rush over to the other things. But the mistake we often make for ourselves is not realizing like, “Oh, you know, I did rush over all those things. I really haven’t figured out what some of those moments are.”

And so while there’s technically an outline for what those beats are that happen here, they’re not nearly as fleshed out and nearly as focused as the rest of it is.

Also, I think what you said at the start that’s really key is that sometimes the only way to know how to write something is to write something is to write it. And it’s like you’re trying to write the screenplay before you’ve written it, and it can only be a rough approximation of the journey you’re going to take. It’s like you have this map that’s showing you how to get from point A to point B, but you really don’t know where all the mountains and all the hills are and where the rivers are that you’re going to have to get yourself around.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**John:** So, you have to allow yourself the luxury of saying, “This is not what I thought it was. Given where I am at, what is the most interesting way to get to the places that I need to get to next?”

**Craig:** Yeah. And, you know, to me an outline is really good for a couple of things. It helps you organize your work, which matters, because you’re not going to get done otherwise. And the other thing that it does is keep you from being absurdly self-indulgent. We all have a tendency to be absurdly self-indulgent. We’ll just wander on. And when people say, “Well, I don’t really write my scripts. My characters write them for me.” Shut up! You write them. Don’t blame it on your characters when you’ve just spent 40 pages blithering.

That’s you blithering. And outlines help keep us —

**Aline:** Well, one thing, sorry.

**Craig:** Go ahead.

**Aline:** You guys don’t interrupt each other. I’ve noticed that.

**John:** We’ve gotten much better about being able to do that not interrupting thing. But, no, go.

**Aline:** Now you have two-thirds Jew, so.

**Craig:** So much Jew. We’re at peak Jew.

**Aline:** One thing that I’ve learned to do to avoid the scrimshaw, the first act scrimshaw, and I know Craig doesn’t do this, but after I have the outline I will write the whole script very quickly. And I will write like an 85, 90-page draft as quickly as I humanly can, to test. And what I’ll do is hop into scenes and I’ll see how I feel hopping into those scenes. And that’s the best way for me to test the outline is to hop into scenes and think, “Oh, there’s nothing happening here. No one is speaking in here. Oh, I’ve walked into a room and everyone is silent.”

So, I go really fast and I test the whole outline by building a very kind of provisional popsicle version of the script. And then I go back and I add my sheet rock and my paint and my ottomans. I do it that way. I build it in layers. And I know some people don’t do that. Some people build it good all the way through. But for me, to test the outline, I have to get all the way through the story.

**John:** Yeah. I’ve always wanted to do what James Cameron would do with the scriptments, which essentially is a very long outline that’s basically all the scenes but without the dialogue. I’ve always wanted to be able to be the person who did that. But the dialogue is by far the most fun thing to write, so therefore I always want to write that. I feel like I don’t really know the characters until I hear them talking to each other.

**Craig:** Interesting.

**Aline:** I don’t know if the story is going to work until I know if the characters will talk. And that’s what I think, for me, is the difference between an outline and a screenplay. You know, you think this is going to be a good scene, and then you get into the scene and you realize, like this has happened to me where I had an outline where there were two characters who were in opposition to each other for a good amount of the story. And that stuff was easy to write because they had a lot of conflict and countervailing points of view. And then there got to a point where I had them align their interest, and man, every time that happened that was like stabbing the inflatable.

I would just get to those scenes where they were supposed to both be pursuing something, and you know, the air, you just audibly hear the air go out of the movie because these characters didn’t have any interpersonal conflict. So, I ended up reconfiguring the outlines so that their interest continued to be at odds until 105 or something, so that I would maintain that conflict. But in the outline phase it seemed like, “Why not? They team up, they become a team here. That makes sense.” And I really didn’t know until I got into those scenes and they could not speak to each other. They had nothing to say. They were saying like, “This looks good. Yeah. This looks good.”

**Craig:** That sounds like great work.

**Aline:** Great scene.

**John:** There’s nothing less dramatic than agreement.

**Aline:** Yeah.

**Craig:** Right.

**John:** Just like, “Sure. That’s great.” They might as well be sitting back, reading the paper together.

**Aline:** “We should get the bad guy.”

**Craig:** “We should. Let’s do it.”

**Aline:** “Good. Let’s do it.” [laughs]

**Craig:** “Let’s do it. You want lunch?” Yeah, I want lunch” “Let’s have lunch first and then we’ll do…”

By the way, I do these —

**Aline:** “Pizza?”

**Craig:** I am the scriptment guy. I write scriptments. Because I love writing dialogue, so again, I feel like if I know exactly what the circumstance is, and I feel comfortable in it, then I get to have the fun of writing dialogue towards something that I think is correct. You know —

**Aline:** That’s the other great thing when you’re writing comedy, about comedy, is the test of your outline is whether people start saying funny things. If they’re not saying funny things, something is wrong with your scene.

**Craig:** Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong!

**Aline:** Mm-hmm!

**Craig:** Flying robots. I’ve been counting all of your metaphors. We’ve got furniture, flying robots, hydraulics.

**John:** Scrimshaw.

**Craig:** Scrimshaw.

**Aline:** That’s a big one.

**Craig:** Bone. Layers of construction.

**Aline:** Inflatable.

**Craig:** Inflatable. But my favorite is flying robot.

**John:** So, this project I’m working on right now, because I’m working on a spec, and Aline, you just finished a spec. I’m actually at the stage where I’ve written some scenes and I’ve paused for a second because I’ve realized like, oh no, there’s going to be trouble ahead.

Where I fundamentally — I have some mission creep happening, where the story was getting bigger than it should sort of — than it wants to get. When Richard Kelly was on the show last week, he talked about that with his movies, Donnie Darko, and you could definitely see mission creep happening in those things.

I’m trying to make something lean and it just keeps getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. So, I’m trying to sort of whittle back at the outline stage right now.

So, for the thing that you wrote for a spec, did you pitch to a bunch of people first and describe it, or was this an entirely internally-generated process? Did you outline on paper first?

**Aline:** Well, what I’ve done is I’ve written something that I want to direct. And it’s pretty specific to me. And so it was something that I mulled for a really long time. And there was a lot of freedom in not, you know, because I don’t often write just for myself. So, there was a lot of freedom in not having to be accountable to — making the process whatever I wanted the process to be.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**Aline:** So, I probably outlined it a little bit more loosely. But I did find a producer to work with after I had sort of an idea of what it was and what the basic structure was. Because I worked with a director once who said, we were having a meeting and he said, “You know, I think with my mouth open,” meaning he knows what he thinks as he’s saying it. And I’m very much like that. And so for me I needed and I like to have collaborators that I can talk to.

So, I found a producer who would work with me on spec, because I need to do that process of telling a story. But that said, it was really great to be able to just make adjustments, attack, and move however I wanted to without feeling like I was accountable to — as accountable to an outline. It’s good.

**John:** Let’s segue to our next topic, which you brought up also, which is why it’s important to be friends with writers. Because my recollection, and my early days in Hollywood, I was friends with a bunch of people who were starting out in Hollywood but they weren’t necessarily writers. I went through a graduate film program, so everyone was trying to become a producer, a film executive. Some people became writers, but I didn’t necessarily seek out other writers. What is your history going —

**Aline:** Well, I feel really strongly about that. I mean, and I think that people sometimes misunderstand what the idea is. The idea is not to be friends with writers who are going to network for you, or who are cool, or who are writing, or who are employed. That’s not really the critical thing. The critical thing is to have friends who do what you do and are engaged in the same kind of work that you are.

And I have, you know, a couple of my writer friends are from the very, very, very beginning of our career before we had any success or barely any work, and we don’t have work places in the way that, you know, my husband works at a mutual fund. He has a workplace. He has coworkers. We just, we don’t have that. Even when we do for a specific project, they’re just for that specific project.

My ongoing workplace, my Cheers, my group of people that I check in with are my other writer friends that I talk to on the phone periodically, or have lunch with. And we’re kind of —

**John:** Aline, you talk on the phone?

**Aline:** I talk on the phone.

**Craig:** Who talks on the phone?

**Aline:** I do.

**John:** Wow.

**Aline:** And so we can check in on what we’re doing and say, “Hey, I was working on that. What do you think of this? Is this a good idea? What do you think of this person?” That network is invaluable. And you will grow with these people.

So, it’s less important to seek out people who you think are going to connect you with a job and more important to seek out people whose process you find productive. And Gatins refers to it as lab partners, you know, finding a lab partner who does their homework and has a neat notebook is important. And then —

**John:** I don’t think Gatins has a neat notebook. I think Gatins’ notebook is one of those folders that he’s like sort of half colored in as he fell asleep.

**Aline:** But it’s so —

**Craig:** Gatins’ notebook is like — it’s like a folder that you open up and it looks like it’s full of stuff, and you open it up and there’s nothing in there.

**Aline:** But it’s brilliant. It’s so brilliant.

**Craig:** It’s all in his head.

**Aline:** And it’s like a workbook where he didn’t do any of the math, but around the margins are those amazing drawings and thoughts. He’s a good example. He’s a great lab partner.

And also something another friend of mine said, which is easier said than done, we were talking about having your friends read stuff. And I said, “Who do you go to for that?” And he said, “It’s very simple. Send it to someone who roots for you.”

**Craig:** Perfect. He’s exactly right.

**Aline:** And I don’t know. It was like something I hadn’t really thought of in quite that way, because I think we all have friends that we love, but maybe we have other friends who we think root a little harder.

**Craig:** You mean to say, “Maybe some of them are rooting against us.” That’s what you mean to say. Which I think is real, by the way.

Listen, it’s human. It bums me out, but I sometimes sense it. Same thing about the positive moviegoing, you know.

**Aline:** I have the opposite of that which is I really like everyone around me to be really successful because I think it makes me look better.

**Craig:** Yeah. Exactly.

**Aline:** And it gives me more names to drop. But, sometimes it’s even on a specific project. Sometimes you can have a friend who is really supportive but they don’t like an idea that you have. Like I remember when I was — there was a friend that I had that I pitched him a few things I was working on, and one of them he just thought was a terrible idea. And so that’s not somebody who I would ever go to and say, “Do you want to read this?”

So, it’s just find somebody who really wants to see you do well, or find someone who really roots for that specific project, because that’s positive moviegoing. You want to share your work and share your career with people who are going in with the best possible intentions.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**Aline:** And we generate enough of our own schadenfreude towards ourselves in this process. You don’t really need it from other people. But finding people who can be your — and I have lots of friends who are producers, and executives, and agents, but your writer friends — and actors too — but your writer friends understand your struggles and your travails and they can really be there for you. And, you know, I think if you look around you can find people to kind of link arms with. And you will all come up together.

**John:** My friend, Andrew Lippa, who did the music for Big Fish, he has this group of composers, lyricist and composers, and they get together once a month and they have to show the work that they’ve been working on. So, as a group they have to perform the thing and like they talk about it, which just seems amazing. And there are obviously screenwriter groups that can do the same kind of thing, but it’s different to show your written pages versus actually performing something. And there’s a trust element that kicks in.

You were talking about you might have directors, or producers, or other people who can read your stuff, agents, but all of them have some vested interest in maybe how they’re going to associate with this project. The great thing about another writer is the writer is just the writer. Like they’re not trying to take your project. They’re not trying to do anything.

While there’s still sometimes that, it’s not even schadenfreude, but that realization of there’s only so many musical chairs and that sometimes you’re competing for the same spots, in general we can be very supportive of each other because we’re not trying to do the same thing. We’re all working on our own projects.

**Aline:** Yeah, and it’s interesting, because I know you guys have talked about this too, but the three of us all met at different phases in our careers and —

**John:** We should talk about how you and I met, because that’s a strange version of how you and I met. So, let me try my recollection of it, because I’m really kind of curious to hear your version of it.

So, Aline and I met on the phone because I was coming in to rewrite a project that she had written as a spec, correct?

**Aline:** No, I wrote it on assignment for New Line. And then John rewrote it and he cold called me and said, “I want to make sure it’s okay with you that I’m rewriting this.” And I said, sure. And then John did a draft of it, never to be heard from again that thing.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** John, you killed her movie.

**Aline:** [laughs]

**John:** I probably killed her movie. So, the backstory —

**Aline:** But that was definitely, John was like, you know, they were bringing in the big guns and I got pushed down the stairs. And John was the first person — I think might have been the first person ever to call me and do the gracious thing.

And I remember, I was outside on my deck and I remember he said, “Is it okay with you if I do this?”

**John:** And I remember you also saying like, “Well, somebody is going to do it, and I’d rather you do it than somebody else,” which is honestly the reality of most of the situations. The answer is not going to that they’re going to go back to you, the original writer.

**Aline:** Right.

**John:** If they’re looking for another writer, they’re going to hire another writer, so you want the writer who actually has the ability to make the movie be good and not ruin the movie.

**Aline:** Yeah.

**John:** So, those are the situations you want to have. That was a strange project because the reason why I was able to get a hold of you is because we both had John Gatins as a friend. And so I called Gatins to get your number and said like, “Is it going to be cool if I call?”

**Aline:** Oh, that’s nice.

**John:** And so it was this movie that you wrote that I really liked. It was just a really good idea. And suddenly Dustin Hoffman was attached, and so I went to this lunch — this crazy lunch — with Dustin Hoffman. And suddenly like, well, this is a movie, and then it just…disappeared.

**Aline:** Yeah, it got complicated in that way. Those things do. But, we — you meet at different. Wait, so we already knew each other, and I knew Craig already when the strike happened. But the strike was really the thing where writers really connected in a different way. And I think it was sort of the convergence of the strike plus the internet. And all of a sudden people really got to know each other in a way that I had not experienced previously in my career where, you know, people really know each other now in a different way than they ever had before.

And I really think it’s for the good. And I always find it funny when you’re talking to an agent, or an executive, or a producer and you say, “Oh yeah, I talked to so-and-so about that project. Oh, yeah, she did a draft on that. So-and-so is directing it.” And they’re like, “How do you know that?” And it’s because, I think, we know each other more now than we did.

**Craig:** We know more than they know sometimes. We know so much more than they think we know. We talk to each other… — You know, I have a lot of writer friends. I like writers and it’s been a wonderful thing for me for the last, I don’t know, six or seven years to get this coterie of writers around me that I admire and that I trust and that I can learn from.

And we share and talk about everything. And I think we do so in a way that is informed by our experience of being safe with each other. That over time we haven’t screwed each other over. That the narrative that we just kind of feed off of each other and compete with each other and undercut each other is essentially bullshit. And that, in fact, we are supportive of each other because the pain that we feel is the most salient thing about the job we do.

So, when we see somebody else feeling it, naturally we just want to help them. I have found — there have been a couple people here and there, but for the most part I have found screenwriters to be incredibly generous and incredibly empathetic, and sweet and encouraging, to me at least.

**Aline:** I’ll tell you a good story. I had, on this spec that I was working on, I wanted to give it to somebody who didn’t know me and didn’t know the situation and didn’t know anything about it that I could give to, who I really respected. So, I gave it to a writer who I really, really respect but don’t know super well. I mean, I maybe hung out with him a dozen, no, half a dozen times. And I sent him the script and then I didn’t hear from him for awhile which is always the thing where you’re like, “Oh god, he hates it and he can’t figure out how to tell me.”

And then I get an email from him that says, “Look, my dad was sick, he was in the hospital. And so I’m just about to read the script.” And I was like, oh no. And then a couple days go by and I get a set of notes, seven pages of notes —

**John:** Wow.

**Aline:** That are the most amazing thoughtful, heartfelt —

**Craig:** You’re welcome. You’re welcome.

**Aline:** [laughs] Well thought out. Just, you know, including like, “Page 26, you could be doing this. Page 43, you could be doing this.” And written in this way that was like, you know, sometimes you get notes from people and it’s like they’re fighting what the movie is. And this was just a writer understanding like, “Oh, this is what she’s trying to do. You are trying to do this. Let me help you. You’re trying to get to such and such a place in five hours. Let me give you the best directions on how to get there.”

And I was so moved when I got that notes document that I was in my office that I like — tears sprang to my eyes. I know how hard it is as a writer to turn your attention from your own imagination and delve into another person’s script. And that he would do seven pages of these incredible notes really blew me away. And it’s professional camaraderie. And, man, the more of that you can find the better. And it doesn’t have to be somebody famous or — it can be, you now, if you’re 23 years old, it can be somebody else that you know who wants to do this, who will read your stuff and put their heart into it.

**John:** Well, it’s also back to the issue of as writers we want movies to be better. And so when I’m advising on projects at Sundance or other places, everyone’s like, “Oh, that’s a tremendous amount of your time that you’re spending.” It’s like, yes, but it’s a chance to make kind of movies better. It’s a way to sort of see what a person is attempting to try to do and help them get to that place that they’re trying to get to.

And so seven pages of notes is above and beyond the call. That’s terrific. But really only a writer could do that. Because only a writer could understand what you were trying to do and provide specific ways that you could sort of get to that place.

**Craig:** You know, I would also say that only a writer can convince you that you’re any good.

**Aline:** Right. That’s interesting.

**Craig:** I had a very nice experience. You know, I started writing a novel a couple of years ago. And, honestly, I wrote two chapters and then stopped, mostly just out of fear that it wasn’t going to be any good and that I wasn’t any good. And I’m no good. And, blah, blah, bah, rotten tomatoes.

**John:** Dennis Palumbo?

**Craig:** No, it’s not Dennis Palumbo. It’s actually, I gave it to Kelly Marcel because she asked to see it. And she’s a really good writer. And she loved it. And, you know, I have to believe that. I can’t — it’s not the same thing…

When we give screenplays, or we give our work to people that are employing us, they’re just as overly optimistic as we are. Everybody is rooting, rooting, rooting. But you always wonder.

Or you give it to somebody, you know, some producer, or agents, or coverage. Well, who’s doing coverage? I don’t know who they are. But if a writer reads something of yours and says, “This is good,” then you need to believe it. And we can’t get that from anybody else.

**John:** Yeah. You want that response of, “I’m so happy for you and also a little bit jealous.” That’s the best feeling you can get as a writer is when another writer says, “This is great and I wish I had written it.”

**Craig:** You know what’s so funny? That’s exactly what she said?

**John:** Aw.

**Craig:** She said, I actually think she used the words, “I’m a bit jealous.” And then, see, but now I have this other task master that’s making me write this book, which is terrific, you know, terrific, because we also need that. We need somebody, we need a lab partner.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** We need a lab partner.

**John:** And as we wrap up this segment on the importance of writers being friends, we also need to credit Aline because during the strike, I agree that the 2008 strike was a big game-changer in terms of especially feature writers knowing who each other are. You organized these events that would happen during the strike, or like these drink events where we would all get together and sort of mingle. And it was my first chance of actually getting to know faces with names of some of these people.

During the strike you were assigned to different studios where you were supposed to be doing picketing. And because I am the palest person on earth, I would picket at Paramount Studios from 5:30am till 8:30am. So, it would be dark and I wouldn’t get sunburned. And I loved that group of people I was hanging out with. But everyone else was at different studios.

And so the events that you organized, and there were three or four of them, were terrifically helpful because just suddenly all these names that I’d seen in the trades are suddenly in front of you and you’re talking about and a lot of what we were talking about was the strike, but you’re also talking about the work, and you’re talking about how to make things better.

**Aline:** But it came at a critical point. People were really, you know, if you try to do those mixers sometimes it’s hard to get people to go. But people were really wanting to be with other writers then and talk about what’s going on, and what are we going to do, and nobody was working.

And so that really, and you were able to organize them over the internet really quickly, send out an e-vite to hundreds of people. And so there were a lot of people who I knew their names but had never met them. And we all kind of really got to know each other during that experience. And it was a really tough… — And people had really varying opinions was the other thing. And a thing that always amazed me was people were really all over the map about what they believed about this, but by and large people were able to, the camaraderie of being screenwriters kind of overcame people’s different point of views.

**John:** I would say there were different point of views on the strike and sort of what we should be doing on the strike and how long it should go and what we should be fighting for. But a common point of focus in terms of like what our profession is, and sort of what our job is and what our craft is, and so by focusing on the feature writers who are usually completely in isolation, bring thing together, it was a way for us to identify ourselves as a group. Because usually we’re not a group the way that TV writers are often in rooms together and sort of know each other.

**Aline:** Right.

**John:** It was a way for us to actually know who these people were.

**Craig:** We also, there’s a certain kind of way that screenwriters interact with each other that is unique. And I love it. And it is a very talky, chatty, low tech, low fancy environment, almost always. We don’t do it the way other people do it. There are few screenwriters I know that sort of love to glam it up and throw parties at nightclubs and stuff like that, but for the most part it seems to me we’re at our happiest when we’re talking somewhere where we can hear each other. And that’s fun.

It’s a nice, real way to be in Los Angeles, a town where just around the corner there’s some place that has convinced you is important and you have to go inside. And if you can’t get inside, and who do you know inside, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, and there we are with our jeans and our sweaters and our cigars and our wine and we just — we’re able to be real with each other.

**Aline:** And I will tackle people. I mean, it’s funny, because I won’t do this with any other, you know, I won’t do this with actors, or directors really, but if I see a writer whose work I admire, I mean, I did a panel with Peter Morgan in 2006 and I was so excited he was going to be there. And the video of me is like, you know, a running back approaching, of me literally taking guys and grabbing them by the nape of the neck and chucking them out of the way to get to Pete. I was so excited to meet him.

And I got to him and I was like, “Oh my god, I just came to this thing so I could meet you.” And that moment someone said, “Let me take your picture.” And there’s a picture like 30 seconds after Pete and I meet, and I look like I’m standing next to Santa Claus. I’m so excited to be meeting Peter.

**Craig:** Well that’s, I mean, John, who was my Peter Morgan in Austin?

**John:** Oh, it was Breaking Bad, it was Vince Gilligan.

**Aline:** Vince.

**Craig:** Vince Gilligan. I mean —

**Aline:** That thing, when you meet somebody whose work you so admire.

**Craig:** It’s everything. It’s everything.

**Aline:** It’s so amazing. And I will tackle people. And Kelly Marcel just moved to town —

**Craig:** Did you tackle Kelly Marcel?

**Aline:** I tackled her at the Mr. Banks thing. And she’s new to town so she doesn’t know a lot of writers. And I was like, oh, there’s people for you to meet.

**John:** There’s a mixer in your future.

**Aline:** Right. Yeah. And she went to Austin which is a really good way and, you know, one thing I would say is go to an event like Austin. If you’re somebody who is starting out, and again, we just did not have stuff like this when we were starting out and I would have been there tackling people. But, you know, go to these events where there is going to be other aspiring people and you will find people that you connect to, that you can pitch your movies to, that you can talk about what they’re working on.

You don’t have to be connecting to the fancy people. You can be connecting to people who are exactly in the same stage that you’re in.

**John:** Yes. Everyone grows up together. So there’s lateral things where you’re reading their script, and if you love their script, keep reading their scripts, and keep helping them out, and they will reciprocate. And you will find your people, but you have to sort of look for your people because it’s not you’re a professional football player where you’re just going to be around professional football players.

**Aline:** That’s right.

**John:** You are always going to be isolation unless you choose to make yourself not in isolation.

**Craig:** And don’t be judgy. Don’t be judgy. Don’t think that your friends have to be the fanciest writers in the world, or the most successful writers in the world. Don’t let that get in the way. You — when you fall in love with another writer, you’re falling in love with a kindred spirit and a fellow mind who understands you, who can help you and you can help you and you can help them.

There is no better feeling — the only better feeling than being helped is helping. How is that for Christmas?

**John:** So, our last thing I want to talk about today is an article that Nima had sent me, but I actually people linking to it, too.

**Craig:** Here comes the downer!

**John:** It’s a downer, but there’s a bright side at the end of it, too, kind of, or a brighter side.

**Craig:** Little bit.

**John:** Little bit. So, this is a site called priceonomics. It’s about David Raether who is a WGA writer who was a writer on Roseanne. And so he started Roseanne when he was already in his 40s or 50s, so he’d moved from the coast and got a job writing on Roseanne. And wrote on Roseanne for several years and was doing pretty well. He moved up through the ranks of Roseanne.

During the time he was writing for Roseanne he had a wife and eight kids. And eight kids is a lot of kids.

**Aline:** Mm.

**John:** And at a certain point his marriage was starting to fall apart, so after Roseanne he took a two-year hiatus and sort of got his marriage back together and got his family situations settled. Moved to a more affordable school district so the kids could stay in that. And then started to go back to writing and to go back to try to find a television job and had a very difficult time finding a television job, which is a common thing you hear all the time which is that gap that happens between, you know, when you’re a writer in your 50s it’s harder and harder to be employed, especially if you weren’t the top showrunner person. It gets harder and harder for that middleclass person.

So, David Raether had, you know, a $500,000 nest egg, which sounds like a lot of money, but that very quickly disappeared. He ended up losing his home. In the article he talks about sort of the process by which the sheriffs come and sort of evict you from your home. And his marriage fell apart. His kids ended up moving in with other families. He ended up homeless in a van. And sort of like what it is to hit the bottom there.

And not bottom that we’re used to. We’re used to like drugs and alcohol, or some other sort of internal crazy that pushed you to the bottom. This was just like the floor just fell out from underneath him. And so the article continues on with sort of how he started working again and sort of getting jobs off Craigslist and ghostwriting things for people who couldn’t write stuff. And eventually sort of building his way up so he’s in a more stable place right now.

But it’s really, I think, a useful thing for us to talk about, especially going into the spirit of Thanksgiving, which is to be not only thankful for the things we have in front of us, but also to be mindful that when things get bad it’s maybe not quite as bad as it seems. That even this guy will say that as bad as things got, once you recognize that you can be homeless and you’ll be okay out of it, he’s like much less fearful about sort of the things that can happen.

So, a couple things I think we can talk about with this article is, first off, that gap year, what he describes as the gap years, that time when you’re no longer sort of employable, but your pension hasn’t kicked in. Because this is a guy who has a WGA pension. So, when he turns 65 he’s got that pension and he’ll be fine. But the problem is he’s not 65 yet.

**Aline:** Can’t you take it earlier?

**Craig:** Yeah, a little bit earlier, but at some point they start hitting you with a lot of penalties and things.

**Aline:** Okay.

**John:** I think you essentially lose it if you start drawing down too early.

**Craig:** There’s a specific minimum age you need to hit, but it’s a really bad idea to dip into it.

**Aline:** Oh, I see. Got it.

**John:** In the beginning of your career, in the middle of your career, as you start to recognize that you’re sort of at the tail end of your career, what are sort of the financial decisions you make? Because I see a lot of people who sell a spec and think like, “I have a million dollars. I’m a millionaire. I’m going to start living like a millionaire.” And don’t seem to recognize, no, you’re not a millionaire. There’s no such thing as a millionaire, really, and you need to buy a more sensible car.

**Craig:** Yeah, you know, let me, [laughs], let me do what I do. Just for a moment. I promise I won’t be too mean. There’s a lesson that I drew from this that I have internalized anyway. Which is, you ain’t your job. You’re you. Your job doesn’t make you qualified. Your job doesn’t make you deserving or entitled of anything.

I want to point out something interesting about this guy, and I don’t mean this in the spirit of kicking somebody when they’re down. I’m very happy that he’s pulled himself out of this circumstance. But, he was not in the entertainment business. He was not a television writer. He was not a screenwriter. He had paid none of the dues that people pay for many years in this town to earn those jobs.

He was a casual friend of Tom Arnold’s. And he decided to write a spec script for Roseanne, once it was a hit, and send it to Tom Arnold. And Tom Arnold, who is apparently a very gracious man and likes his friends, said, “Awesome. I’m getting you a job and you’re going to work here.” And when I read that all I could think was, oh, how the people in the room at Roseanne must have felt about that. Like who is this? Are you kidding me?

My point is not to say that he doesn’t deserve to be in that room. He may very well have been the best writer in that room. My point is that just because you have a job as a writer doesn’t mean that you have now broken through some magical thing where you’re a professional writer for life. You’re not. You’re a professional writer right now. And it can go away for me, for you, for any of us, for any number of reasons.

So, you have to protect and save against that. You certainly can’t be so proud and so delusional to think that you can disappear from the one single job you’ve had as a writer, you can disappear for two years and then come back and everybody would just want to give you a job. Even if the market were great, nobody other than Tom Arnold has ever hired you to write before. It just seems so delusional to me.

Please, important lesson here. When you get your big break, it’s not a break. There’s no breaks. You’re going to have to re-break, and re-break, and re-break. It never ends. It never ends.

The other thing is I feel like the story is missing information. I really do.

**John:** It’s apparently a shortened version of like the book. So there’s actually a much more elaborate book that sort of talks through everything that happened. So, what information did you want to know, Craig?

**Craig:** Well, I feel like when you are a married person with a wife and eight kids and a job, and then your life is dismantled to the extent that you are separated from your wife, separated from your children, some of whom go to live in another country and you end up in a minivan, that there are additional circumstance beyond, “Huh, can’t find a gig.”

Whether it is substance abuse, or mental health issues, it seems to me like we’re missing some information here, because things just seemed to happen in this story and I’m not quite sure why. And there are also a lot of things that are available for people that he doesn’t seem to be taking advantage of. So, I don’t know. I was just a little suspicious about the whole thing. And a little concerned when I read it. there was a whiff of flimflam about it.

I may just be a terrible person.

**Aline:** “A whiff of flimflam.”

**John:** Oh, it’s a very good whiff, though. Well, let’s talk about sort of the, I don’t know, the safety net of it all, because one of the challenges of being a screenwriter is that your income is inherently unstable. And so you cannot predict how much money you’re going to earn the next year, which is a challenging thing.

Now, Aline, your husband has a normal job. And so is that comforting in any way, where like there’s a steady income regardless?

**Aline:** Yeah, well he doesn’t just have a normal job. He works for a mutual fund, so he’s very conservative. So, we plan very conservatively. But, you know, there are two things that when I can see them in a writer I get a little uncomfortable. One is writers who really love to write. When you run into people who just love to write, and just I love it, I look forward to it, it’s so enjoyable. That always sends up red flags for me.

My people are the ones who are like, “Ugh, it was hard.” You know, of course you have moments where it’s wonderful, but it’s work. It’s really hard work. And I think people who don’t complain about writing concern me. And then also people who just if you have that attitude of like, “I got one gig. I’m set,” it’s not that, man. It’s getting — everybody has to go out and get a job —

**Craig:** Look at the Jews fighting the Christmas spirit. We just can’t deal with it.

**Aline:** You’ve got to go get a job. A couple times a year, you’ve got to go back out there. No one is set. So, sometimes you do meet people who get some kind of foot hold, some kind of toe hold, and they seem to feel like they’ve made it through some sort of pearly gates, and it’s just not like that. It’s a hustle.

And I really look at it in a lot of ways as being an entrepreneur. And when you’re an entrepreneur, you know you’re going to have good times and not so good times. And you better take — here’s another metaphor for your — you better take your acorns and put them in your tree trunk.

**Craig:** And your flying robot.

**Aline:** And your flying robot. You better take that flying robot and get it some acorns, because this —

**Craig:** When did you become Dan Rather? I don’t understand what happened?

**Aline:** It’s a very cyclical business. And I just think you’ve got to keep your head down and do your work, but you’re not owed anything. There’s so many people who want to do this. So, I say all of this having not read the article because I did not do my homework.

**John:** When I first got paid, my first scale assignment, which was for How to Eat Fried Worms, and then the second thing was A Wrinkle in Time, I would have a spreadsheet. And on that spreadsheet I would track how much money I had and then I would month by month figure out this is what my rent costs. This is what I pay for these different things. And I would sort of watch the money trickle down. So, I could plan ahead, I could see ahead eight months to see like how much money I would actually have.

And that’s a very sobering exercise that’s so useful, because I could see like I cannot be buying anything beyond the bare essentials I need to live, because otherwise I could just run out of money.

**Aline:** I’m just picturing John in his 20s, which everybody else like lying around on dirty sofas, and John somewhere looking at his spreadsheet.

**Craig:** With like that little visor? [laughs]

**Aline:** [laughs] Yeah. And the armband.

**Craig:** With glasses. Right, the armband. And that adding machine that you have to go Ka-chunk to.

**Aline:** Sleeves rolled up. His friends are all like, “John will buy us the beer guys, seriously.”

**John:** I did not buy a bed the first two years I lived in Los Angeles.

**Craig:** Two? I think my first bed was my fifth year.

**John:** Yeah, so that’s the thing. We’re basically saying don’t buy a bed. And don’t put your money underneath.

**Craig:** Don’t buy anything. Don’t buy anything!

**Aline:** My friend, Jeff, always had this thing which is your evolution as an adult is how far your bed gets off the floor.

**Craig:** [laughs] That’s absolutely true. It’s true.

**Aline:** You basically start off sleeping on the floor. And then you get a futon, which is like five inches from the floor. And then you get a futon frame.

**John:** A frame. Nice. Classy.

**Craig:** Yes. Yes.

**Aline:** Which is 11 inches off the ground. And then at some point you buy a bed frame, but it’s not upholstered or anything. It’s just one of those —

**Craig:** It’s that metal thing.

**Aline:** It’s that metal thing with the feet.

**Craig:** That they give away. Yeah.

**Aline:** And the next thing is you actually get a mattress into a bed. But you’ve got to be — really think like an entrepreneur. And just to go on a side topic for a second, I know you guys have talked with bewilderment many times about why there aren’t more women who do this. And it is easier to understand with directing because the raising of children is not very compatible with being on movie sets. But I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why there aren’t more female screenwriters and I think it’s this aspect of being an entrepreneur.

You are really running a small business which is you. And you have to put yourself out there every day and wear your sandwich board of like, “I’m interesting. You’re going to listen to me.” And I think that women are attracted to things where they can demonstrate excellence in a somewhat prescribed fashion. That’s why women are killing men in colleges and graduate schools.

But screenwriting is not like that. Screenwriting is a lot like you’re starting a business of making flavored pistachios.

**Craig:** Here we go. Ice cream. Here we go.

**Aline:** [laughs] Flavored pistachios, I don’t even know where that came from.

**Craig:** Flavored pistachios.

**John:** Well, I can see the movements. I thought you were going to go for some Etsy kind of thing. I thought you were going for some crochet —

**Aline:** Or like, yeah, macrame, squirrel hats. I went back to squirrels.

**Craig:** Macrame squirrel hats. And you girls with your flavored pistachios.

**Aline:** [laughs] But you got to go out there and like be an entrepreneur and save your money and really put yourself out there. And I think that it’s not a thing that we encourage women to do from childhood is to really say like, “I’m interesting…”

**John:** Well, I wonder if culturally we have a different expectation about men in their 20s, it’s expected that you are broke, and you are sleeping on couches, and that your life is a disaster, but you’re doing all that stuff and so eventually you’re going to break through. And we perceive a woman who is doing that as being a failure. Because that’s not a viable way for her to proceed.

We are more worried for that woman than we are worried for the equivalent man in the 20s who is living that sort of marginal lifestyle. Is that true?

**Aline:** I don’t know if it’s that. I really think it’s about when you’re coming up as a writer, like I remember I ran into a friend from high school and I had just started being a writer, and I had maybe sold one thing.

And we were at a party and somebody said to me, “What do you do?” And I said, “I’m a writer.” And he looked at me and he said, “Do you really tell people that?”

**Craig:** [laughs] Cool guy.

**Aline:** And I thought, you know, I really — it takes a leap of faith and a confidence in yourself to say, yeah, I’m a writer, I have something to say. Because essentially what you do as a writer is you say, “Listen to me. That’s the very first thing you do.”

**Craig:** Well, that’s, and I wonder if this is something in terms of the gender thing that women are trained by the world around them, if not by their parents, to not aggressively go after what they want because they themselves have an inherent desirability. That they are instructed to essentially play hard to get and to let things come to them.

**Aline:** I don’t know. Maybe in a — I really think it’s an adjustment on that which is to go out there and say what you have to do at the beginning of your career which is I have nothing to prove to you that what I have to say is valuable except this: what I believe, my voice, my sensibility, my humor, my intelligence. And it’s just as good as anyone else’s. Probably better than someone else’s. You’re going to listen to me. I’m going to sit in a rom. I’m going to command your attention for 20 minutes.

**Craig:** Right.

**Aline:** I’m going to go outside the box. There’s no format for this. You know, it’s a very unscripted kind of unplanned thing.

And what I want to say to women who are listening, and I was talking at a thing at UCSB and what I didn’t know, what I didn’t understand, when I started I thought you had to know people and you had to network, and you had to do all these things which I was really — how was I going to do that? My parents were first generation immigrants. They don’t know anybody. There was no uncle I could call. There was none of that.

**Craig:** “Aline. I don’t know anybody who can help you.”

**Aline:** Right So, I had to really take that. And what I didn’t know is you’ve got to have the goods, be good at what you do, serve that apprenticeship of becoming good at what you do, but you also have to say, “My point of view is valuable. Listen to me. I have something to say.”

And I do find young women, younger women, they just do it. They just, you know, I’m working with this young comedian. She makes these YouTube videos on her own. She pays for them on her own. She’s a great DP and she writes songs and she just does it.

And I think that it really is changing and that young women have now unmitigated access to media. They don’t have to audition for anyone. They can just write their blog, or do their video, or put it out there.

**Craig:** Sisters are doing it for themselves.

**Aline:** They really are. But what I would say is if you’re trying to get into Hollywood screenwriting, which is a more Mandarin, closed system, you have to bet on yourself. And part of betting on yourself is saving money.

**Craig:** Mm-hmm.

**Aline:** It is. Because every penny you save is money you can spend giving yourself time to write that great script. And that’s why I was really cheap when I started was just, you know, I know that if I get paid, if I can hold onto this check, if I can stretch this check as long as I can, that’s more time that I can spend working.

**Craig:** Yeah.

**Aline:** And if you get your first check and you blow it, you’re going to have to go and get that job which is going to be distracting and exhausting.

**John:** I hear you.

So, let us get to our final thing tonight which is our One Cool Things. So, who wants to start? Craig, do you want to start?

**Craig:** Yes. Because mine is incredibly short. Scroobius Pip. My One Cool Thing is Scroobius Pip. Look ’em up on YouTube. Awesome.

**Aline:** Okay. Wow.

**Craig:** Scroobius Pip.

**Aline:** Wow. Never heard of that.

**Craig:** Look ’em up.

**John:** Actually, I do know what this is because you had linked this on Twitter and Kelly Marcel had pointed it to you. And it is perhaps the angriest song I’ve ever seen.

**Craig:** Ever! It is this song called You Will See Me. It’s the angriest song I think that has ever been written.

**John:** So, what’s great about the song is the first half is so inspiring and it’s like, “Yeah, yeah!,” and then it just goes too far in that way that’s just wonderful.

**Craig:** Yeah. Yeah.

**John:** Most despotic people were probably like really great and driven and you wanted them to succeed until they went just way too far.

**Aline:** Oh, that sounds great.

**Craig:** Yeah, it’s sort of like, you know, I Will Survive turns into I Will Kill All of You. Everyone I see is going to die.

It’s remarkable. And it’s so smart. It’s so smart. It really does make You Oughta Know look like a love poem.

**Aline:** Oh, I can’t wait.

**John:** So, we’ll put a link to that in the show notes. My One Cool Thing is a book by Keith Houston called Shady Characters: The Secret Life of Punctuation, Symbols, and Other Typographical Marks. I’m reading it right now. It’s great.

And so it talks about a lot of things like, you know, the paragraph symbol, like where did that come from? And like the crosshairs, and daggers, and asterisks, and all those little strange things. Well, who made that stuff up? And there’s actually a history behind all of those things.

Sometimes the word is made up, but an example is like we think about the paragraph symbol as like, oh, it’s like a P, it’s like a special P. But it’s actually not a P at all. It just sort of ended up looking kind of like that. And actually it’s a crossed C with another line beside it. it’s all different than sort of how you would think.

**Aline:** Between this and the spreadsheet, you’re really not James —

**Craig:** Sexy!

**Aline:** Yeah, I was going to say.

**Craig:** Sexy!

**John:** As a type nerd, I was very excited that this book —

**Aline:** Or just a nerd.

**Craig:** Actually, I did think of you. And I’ll try and find the link to this, because it was such a you thing. I can’t believe I didn’t send it to you. I read an article. For a long time people have been struggling to try to denote irony in text.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** And, I don’t know, maybe you saw this article where there was a guy hundreds of years ago who invented an irony mark.

**John:** And that is covered in this book.

**Craig:** Oh, it is?

**John:** It is.

**Craig:** And it just never caught on. Nobody wanted it.

**John:** Nobody wanted it. There’s also a whole chapter on the interrobang, which is the question mark and exclamation point at the same time.

**Craig:** Oh, interrobang.

**John:** Which ultimately is just not that necessary? You put the two things together, we got it.

**Aline:** In emails.

**John:** Emails. Yeah.

**Aline:** Have you guys talked about treadmill desks?

**John:** No, so let’s talk about treadmill desks.

**Aline:** Oh, okay, well that would definitely be One Cool Thing. So, I had a GeekDesk, which I think I got the nod from you on, the GeekDesk, which is you can adjust the height. So, I was writing standing up for awhile. And that was sort of okay, but you get into a lot of slouchy, uncomfortable positions when you’re standing.

And so my friends, Susannah Grant, took the leap. She had also bought the GeekDesk at my recommendation, so we both had those. And then she took the leap and got the TreadDesk which goes under the GeekDesk. And then you’re walking and you’re writing.

And it’s really embarrassing and stupid to look at, but what I really like about it is that I’m a kind of gregarious, like to be busy person, and so a writing for me, a long day of writing, I will eventually feel like — ooh, analogy — I will eventually feel like a raccoon with its foot in the trap.

**Craig:** What?!

**John:** [laughs]

**Craig:** We got to have somebody, please somebody out there illustrate every single one of these that she’s done in this episode.

**Aline:** Oh, that’s good. So, I would feel so trapped by the end of the day. And there’s something about being on the treadmill where you feel like even if I’m — on those days where you feel like I’m not crushing it, at least you feel like I went for a walk today. I did something reasonably healthy. So, I’ve enjoyed it.

And then I emailed Susannah the other day and said, “I’ve taken it to a terrible place,” which is I’ve taken it to dancing.

**John:** You’re dancing on your treadmill desk?

**Aline:** A little bit. So, I think this is going to lead to traction.

**John:** Yeah. It’s could be dangerous. So, your treadmill desk, essentially you’re using your normal standing desk, but then there’s a very flat treadmill that goes underneath it.

**Aline:** Right. They make this thing now. And it’s TreadDesk. You can find it if you Google TreadDesk, you can find it. Because that was the thing. I couldn’t find one that didn’t have the big —

**Craig:** But you can’t write like that?

**Aline:** I do.

**John:** Yeah.

**Aline:** You go very slowly.

**Craig:** Oh, that’s a nightmare.

**Aline:** Yeah, you go slowly. And you know what it’s really particularly good for? It’s not great for fine point editing, proofing, where you want to really find, but what it’s really good for is after you’ve gone through a script and you’ve written a bunch of notes to yourself and you’ve written a lot of notes in the margin, that’s what it’s really great for, when you’re implementing stuff that you’ve written by hand. It’s really — like if I have something due, there was a week where I had something due on a Friday and I walked 18 miles that week.

**Craig:** Oh my god.

**John:** That’s a good week. I do the same thing with my iPad and the normal treadmill, iPad with the keyboard. And so I can do things like first passes on blog posts. Just doing triage on emails. It’s great for that kind of stuff.

Then when you actually sit down to really focus, then you’re really in writing mode, which is good, too. So, it’s a change in state.

**Craig:** I just like to walk around, outside, and enjoy God’s splendor.

**John:** Yeah, we don’t believe you at all, Craig Mazin. We know you far too well.

**Craig:** What?

**John:** You have more to say?

**Aline:** What?

**Craig:** Nah. [laughs]

**John:** All right. If you would like to send a question about vocabulary choices or analogies for Aline Brosh McKenna can make for us, you can write to ask@johnaugust.com.

**Craig:** That Aline.

**Aline:** I covered a lot of animals today.

**Craig:** Yeah, Aline. Like two squirrels fighting over a flavored pistachio raccoon.

**John:** What I really want is a Christmas Tree. I know you’re Jewish, but I really want a Christmas Tree with all these ornaments of the metaphors you used.

**Craig:** And Aline Tree. That would be cool.

**Aline:** I love it.

**John:** Aline, are you on Twitter?

**Aline:** No.

**John:** No. Aline is not on Twitter. But I’m on Twitter, @johnaugust. Craig is @clmazin.

Our podcast that you’re listening to right now is available on iTunes. And so if you’re listening to this on iTunes and have not left a comment, it’s great if you do that because that helps people find the show. So, you can subscribe there.

We enjoyed having Aline Brosh McKenna on our show today.

**Craig:** As always.

**John:** Aline, thank you so much for coming by.

**Aline:** You’re most welcome.

**John:** And we will get to see you again on December 19th.

**Aline:** Woot-woot! Oh yeah!

**Craig:** Woo!

**Aline:** And that’s when we’re going to have our drink and a half.

**John:** Yes.

**Craig:** Yes! We will have a drink and a half. And, no, I’m not drinking that foul eggnog.

**Aline:** We’ll see.

**John:** So, I’m not really clear based on this new facility we went to, I’m not clear that there’s going to be a bar bar. But if nothing else we’ll have a flask.

**Aline:** I’ve got a purse.

**John:** All right.

**Craig:** And I’ve got a purse.

**Aline:** All right, guys. Thank you.

**John:** Thank you guys. Happy Thanksgiving.

**Craig:** Happy Thanksgiving.

LINKS:

* [Aline Brosh McKenna](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0112459/) on IMDb, and her [first](http://johnaugust.com/2012/the-black-list-and-a-stack-of-scenes), [second](http://johnaugust.com/2013/how-screenwriters-find-their-voice), [third](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-100th-episode), and [third-and-a-half](http://johnaugust.com/2013/101-qa-from-the-live-show) appearances on Scriptnotes
* The [Scriptnotes Holiday Show](https://www.wgfoundation.org/screenwriting-events/scriptnotes-holiday/) is sold out, but follow [@johnaugust](https://twitter.com/johnaugust) and [@clmazin](https://twitter.com/clmazin) to be the first to know if more tickets are released
* [John Gatins](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0309691/) on IMDb
* [What It’s Like to Fail](http://priceonomics.com/what-its-like-to-fail/) on priceonomics
* [Scroobius Pip](http://scroobiuspip.co.uk/) and [You Will See Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OS4W3OCESY)
* [Shady Characters: The Secret Life of Punctuation, Symbols, and Other Typographical Marks](http://www.amazon.com/dp/0393064425/?tag=johnaugustcom-20) by Keith Houston
* [Irony punctuation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony_punctuation) on Wikipedia
* The [TreadDesk](http://asoft11239.accrisoft.com/treaddesk/)
* [Outro](http://johnaugust.com/2013/scriptnotes-the-outros) by Scriptnotes listener Kris Gotthelf

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Apps

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Recommended Reading

  • First Person (87)
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Screenwriting Q&A

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