John August

Search Results for: characters

How do I include animated sequences?

Formatting, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI’m writing something at the moment which, while it is mostly live action, has scenes of animation featuring the main cast which are also occasionally intercut with live action scenes. How would you format this?

— Nic
Essex, England

When you have entire scenes that are animated, you can handle it in the slugline.

EXT. MARTIN’S HOUSE – DAY [ANIMATED]

A big, cheerful Kellogg’s sun rises behind the house. Bluebirds flutter from the trees, TWEETING a delightful melody.

If animated characters cross into the real world à la Roger Rabbit, you’ll want to consistently label them as such.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Martin opens the front door to find Karen sweaty and half-dressed on the couch. Only when she sits back do we see she’s on top of Animated Martin, who is similarly disheveled.

A long beat.

MARTIN

So the ink on the sheets..?

KAREN

The kids weren’t coloring, no.

Your goal should always be clarity. You want the reader to follow what you’re doing without dragging down the storytelling.

Do I need a caveat?

Pitches, Psych 101, QandA

questionmarkMy question is simple, albeit mildly existential. I recently completed a spec — a raunchy, R-rated, Apatow-esque comedy — that a mother couldn’t love. Even mine. Think “Something About Mary” and you’ll begin to get the picture.

Of course, buried in the premise, there’s a sweet love story and all that jazz, but it’s pretty crass stuff, replete with humor that, if taken the wrong way, could easily offend. Naturally, as an aspiring writer, I don’t want agents and the like to think: “Man, that Evan sure is homophobic and likes to talk about Mormon orgies.” Is there a way to address this in a query letter? Pitch meeting? Or should I just assume everyone will understand writers don’t necessarily create characters that they agree with?

— Evan
Los Angeles

Don’t stress over it. Hollywood folk are savvy enough to realize that actors who play serial killers aren’t themselves dangerous, and that the guys who wrote Saw aren’t any sicker than most screenwriters.

In a query letter, don’t back away from your premise or your big moments. If you wrote raunchy, let them know it’s raunchy. In a pitch meeting, there will be plenty of time to establish that you’re a normal human being without gay Mormon issues. And if they like your idea, they won’t care one way or the other.

On the radio

Formatting, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI’m working on a script that includes a few scenes where characters talk on police radios, or on megaphones.

So my question is this:

How do you write that? I suppose it’s just a matter of picking a format and sticking to it throughout the script, but I thought I would fire this question across your desk in case you’ve already standardized how it might look. Currently I’m toying with something that might go along the lines of:

INT. POLICE CRUISER – NIGHT

The radio crackles with three call tones. Perry grabs the receiver.

PERRY

Go for Perry.

DISPATCH (ON RADIO)

(filtered)

Your mother’s calling 9-1-1 again, Perr. Says you’re grounded.

PERRY

Tell her I’m working. I’ve got a job, and I’m working. I’m already on patrol, Walter...and I’m 30.

DISPATCH (ON RADIO)

(filtered)

She’s threatening the Playstation.

PERRY

Tell her I’ll be right there.

He tosses the handset, floors it, and cranks up the siren and lights.

The other format I’m trying to crack is when someone picks up a megaphone to address a crowd of people. So far I have something like:

EXT. PERRY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The squad car screeches up in front of the house. Perry’s mom opens the top floor window and extends the Playstation over the ledge.

Perry jumps out, holds up a megaphone.

PERRY

(filtered)

Don’t do it, mom. Go back inside, and keep the Playstation where I can see it.

PERRY’S MOM

You’re a rotten kid, Perry. Rotten to the core.

PERRY

(filtered)

I mean it. I’ll use force if I have to.

I’m not sure if you need the word “filtered” in parentheticals in both examples, and if I do, should I put it on each line, or just the first? With the radio lines, I’ve put “ON RADIO” next to the name, and on each line. Do I need to include it on more than one, or is the first sufficient?

— Scott Benton
Los Angeles

In both cases, I would drop the “(filtered)” tag on the second line of dialogue. We get it, and reminding us that it’s filtered is just getting in the way of the jokes.

While we’re on the topic, I’m a fan of how you used **DISPATCH (ON RADIO)** in the first example. I find myself doing that a lot in situations where the speaker is not physically present in the scene. In some cases, it indicates a character we’ll never really meet (perhaps your Dispatcher), or a character we do meet who happens to be on a speakerphone or similarly off-screen.

Putting the parenthetical as part of the character name helps reinforce that the person won’t be seen. That’s clarity for the reader and for 1st ADs when it comes time to write the shooting schedule.

Two from the file

Film Industry, News, QandA, Words on the page

The mailbag gets a little backed up here. I thought I’d reach back a few years to look at two unanswered questions.

questionmarkI am working on a romantic comedy and much of the comedy is situational, physical comedy. Is it appropriate to specify in the script a generic location and the physical actions of the characters? For example, if someone was going to jump out of his chair and run to chase a dog only to grab the leash and be taken over the hood of a car as the dog jumped for a Frisbee (whew!!), would it be okay to specify all that? I have been under the impression that, as the writer, it isn’t my place to dictate specifics…that is for the producer and the director.

— Ryan O’Donnell
January 18, 2005

As the screenwriter, it’s your job to give readers the experience of watching a movie. If you’re writing a movie with a lot of physical comedy, that means writing a lot of physical comedy. The same holds true for car chases, dance numbers, fight scenes and every other kind of cinematic moment that a layman would assume “aren’t really written.” They’re written. By writers.

Might some of those beats change based on directors, actors, choreographers and stunt people? Certainly. But your goal is create moments so funny and original that all parties involved want to do it your way. (Or at least, try to top it.)

questionmarkI know this might be a little strange but you’re obviously in the loop. What’s going on with the movie “Stay” written by David Benioff?

Additionally your commentary on CA: Full Throttle was interesting. What are the Wibberleys like?

— Sean Sullivan
January 25, 2005

Unfortunately, Benioff’s once-promising career was killed by Stay. (Too many people thought it was a downbeat follow-up to Go.) Last I knew, he was making a good living writing those things you get in the stores with the covers, and the words and the pages…

Instruction manuals. He’s writing instruction manuals. Mostly for vacuum cleaners.

As for the Wibberleys, they’re lovely people. If only a producer could convince them to write something commercial, as opposed to the [high-minded literary fare](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436339/) they’re known for.

(In truth, David and the Wibbs are great and busy. One of the best developments since 2005 is that name-brand feature writers know each other better than they used to. The strike and the internet are equally responsible for this.)