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Scriptnotes, Episode 726: So you’ve been nominated for an Oscar, Transcript

March 5, 2026 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August, and this is Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, so you’ve been nominated for an Oscar, what do you do next, how do you translate this attention and heat into that next project, and hopefully into a career? To help us answer this question, we are joined today by a writer-director pair facing this exact dilemma. Natalie Musteata and Alexandre Singh are a writer-director pair whose short film Two People Exchanging Saliva has racked up a bunch of awards, including an Oscar nomination. Welcome and congratulations.

Natalie Musteata: Thank you so much.

Alexandre Singh: Thank you so much, John.

Natalie: Thank you.

John: We should say you actually are Scriptnotes listeners, so this is not a strange place for you to show up.

Natalie: Not at all. This is actually the first podcast for screenwriting that we ever listened to. It was 10 years ago. Alex and I, we come from the visual arts, and all we ever did was talk about film. Alex suggested, “Rather than talking about film or writing about film, why don’t we try and make films?” which I thought was audacious, as two people that had never been to film school and knew absolutely no one in the film industry.

Alexandre: This is a full-circle moment for us because, quite often in the podcast, we’re talking about emerging filmmakers, emerging screenwriters, regardless of how old they are, were coming from careers in visual arts, and then everybody dreaming of making films. Coming up in an age when you don’t have to go to film school, there’s so much that you can learn from podcasts, from YouTube videos, and of course by putting word to the page and making scripts that are not so great to begin with, and hopefully, get better as you learn the craft.

Natalie: We certainly wrote a few scripts with passive protagonists, [laughter] like everyone does at the beginning.

Alexandre: I would say there’s so many things that you learn over the 10 years of going from zero to wherever we are as writers. The thing I would tattoo on my arm is beware of reactive protagonists. That’s just the biggest lesson I would say. Then everything else is all details.

John: I want to talk about those 10 years behind you, but also the 10 years ahead of you, because I really want to focus on what do you do now. In many ways, you’ve achieved the dream, you got this Oscar nomination, you have heat, you have all these meetings, you’ve signed with an agency, all these things, but there’s lessons to learn, and there’s also decisions to make. I want to talk this through while there are live, active questions for you guys. I want to talk to you about your decision to make this film, but also how anyone listening to this, whether or not they are nominated for an Oscar, they’re going to have moments of heat. Some producer read their thing and liked their thing, and it’s getting passed around. How do you capitalize on that?

What I think you guys have done so well is capitalize on the heat that happens before everything happens, and coming in with a plan for what’s next, and also some flexibility. I want to talk through all that, but also for a bonus segment for premium members, I’d love to talk about black and white, [laughter] because you made the decision to shoot this in black and white, and it was such a smart choice. I just want to talk about making a black and white film in 2025/2026, because it helps, and it was the right choice.

Natalie: Yes. I think that in general, we really leaned into bold decision-making. Making the film black and white was a really easy, early decision that we made. We love black and white films. For us, black and white feels like an X-ray. It’s the essential of the image, and it reduces all the noise.

Alexandre: Color distracts. We’re on the radio, but here we’re surrounded by colorful wires, a colorful table.

John: Trust me, we considered making this podcast in black and white [laughter] for just those reasons. In the bonus segment, we’ll get deep into the black and white. I want to talk about now your short film.

Let’s talk about maybe not the last 10 years, but at least the decision to go in and make this specific film. Before this point, you’ve written some things, you did a short film, which got some attention and got some awards. The decision to make this specific film, what was the ambition, what was the goal? You want to tell a great story, you want to make a great film, but I think you also want to make a film that would attract attention and showcase things you’re really good at.

Natalie: Ironically, yes.

Alexandre: This is something we’ve been thinking a lot about. When we made our first film, we had never been on a set before. The very first moment when we had the first short, which was inspired by the opening shot of Rear Window, needless to say, overly ambitious, using a gimbal, we learned, for example, that changing lenses on a film camera takes much longer than on a photo camera. When your DP says, our DP on our first short, Antonio Paladino says, “Yes, we’ll shoot on vintage glass,” vintage glass is wonderful, but the gears for the follow focus are not in the same places. We were learning on the fly. Our ambition at that point was just to make our film. Would it cut together? Would it be a story? Would it be engaging? Would we–

Natalie: That being said, whenever you’re making anything, especially when you’re finally achieving a dream of making a film, the ambition is great. You’re like, “We’re going to go to Cannes. We’re going to travel far with this film.” We did not see the pandemic coming, which is right around the time that first short came out. That being said, with this short, we had learned a big lesson from the first to the second. One was that while we did make a film that cut together and was really fun and playful and visually sumptuous, it did not do the one thing that we care about most in cinema, which is the element of catharsis and telling an emotional story that’s very character-led. That was something that was really important for us to have in this short.

With this short, we had no ulterior motive. We didn’t know whether we were making it for a museum or for film festivals. We certainly were not projecting far into the future at all.

Alexandre: We weren’t thinking about the short as a stepping stone. We weren’t thinking about the short as a proof of concept. Otherwise, we would not have made it 36 minutes long.

John: Yes, it’s a long short. [laughter] I’m going to put a link in the show notes to The New Yorker is hosting it now, which is great, because when I saw it, I saw it as a Vimeo link, but now everyone can see it through The New Yorker. The very short description, I’ll say, is that it’s a film that takes place in Paris in a society where kissing is forbidden. People pay for things with slaps to the face, a very high concept. We meet this unhappy housewife who becomes fascinated by this salesgirl, and it raises the suspicions of a jealous colleague. That’s to set up what it feels like.

It’s in black and white. It is gorgeous and sumptuous. This department store is incredible. The fashion, the costumes, everything is really elaborate and beyond what you would expect to see in a short film. How early in the process of thinking about doing this piece, instead of it might even be a museum piece, which is so fascinating, I would never even consider that– Of course, that short film is made from museum pieces. How early in the conception of it did you know what you wanted it to look like, feel like, what the experience of the film should be like?

Natalie: We knew very early on because we wrote it very quickly. It’s the fastest thing we’ve ever written. We wrote it in two to three weeks. We shared the first draft, and immediately it was greenlit, which was a huge surprise.

Alexandre: A surprise to us.

John: Greenlit by whom? Who was putting this money?

Natalie: Our producers. The film actually originated out of a constraint, which is that we were asked by these producers, whose company is called MISIA FILMS in Paris, whether we had any ideas set in a luxury department store.

John: Oh my God. Great.

Natalie: We would have never written a film that was set in such a luxurious and impossible-to-access space. We had this unusual playing field. We were like, “Okay, if we’re going to set a film in this very loaded environment where you have the intersection of beauty and commerce and power and social status, how do we subvert this space?” It was in–

Alexandre: How do we put a stamp on it? It was during the Zoom meeting when we were asked, “Go away and think about this.” During the Zoom meeting, we were spitballing ideas. This image came into my mind of someone being slapped in the face and someone counting it out, and that being the form of transaction. Even if that was something that we couldn’t verbally articulate at that time, we knew that there was some thematic juice there. They very kindly didn’t shut this down immediately and asked us to go away and think about this world. It was–

Natalie: Then we started exploring what that would mean. There were a lot of news stories at the time, like today, that were influencing our creative– I don’t know.

Alexandre: Whether we were responding to either laughing or fuming at whilst reading the news, at the time, it was the nascent MAGA days of Governor Ron DeSantis in Florida, there was the protest movement in Iran, Woman, Life, Freedom.

Natalie: All of which is still happening today.

Alexandre: That has been dialed up to 11 today.

Natalie: Part of it for me was also that when you open up your phone today, if you are opening up Instagram, for instance, side by side, you’re being confronted with images of civil unrest and then an advertisement for a luxury handbag. There’s this normalization of violence side by side with commerce that just, I don’t know, felt like it was related to this idea that had come about almost subconsciously. We started developing the film. Very quickly, this yin and yang idea came about, if violence is normalized, then intimacy is not. The love story within this absurdist world started to come about.

Alexandre: We started to become very attached to these characters. Actually, all three of them. Malaise, who’s the young woman who decides to play a game with Angine, an older shopper, pretends that she knows her already. Their antagonist is Petulante, who is a saleswoman who’s been at the store for a long time and feels not just professional jealousy, but perhaps romantic jealousy or just the desire to be touched.

Natalie: It’s a story of three different women from three different generations who are responding to the repressive rules of the society in very different ways, and their differences that lead to the drama of the film.

John: I want to leave it to listeners to watch the film. Then, if you want to read the scripts, you can read the script in English and in French. The French one does not very closely match the English one because things changed along the way.

Natalie: We were rewriting the script as we were shooting. Then, even in the edit, obviously, scenes shifted around. Then some things were cut.

Alexandre: As Victor was saying recently on the podcast, you go into at best, hopefully, the script is 90% there. As much as we want to really labor over the script and have it be perfect because it is the foundation of the house that you’re going to build, sometimes you’re building that car as you are driving it. This was very much the case with this film because we knew we had to shoot in a window before the Christmas sales in the department store. It was the only time where we could shoot four or five nights in a row.

John: Which actual store is it?

Alexandre: The name is Galeries Lafayette. It’s an iconic.

John: I’ve heard of Galeries Lafayette, but I didn’t recognize it.

Natalie: There are two locations. We shot on the one on the Champs-Élysées. We shot in both. We mix and match. The majority of it is the smaller of the two stores, which is on the Champs-Élysées. As you can imagine, it’s open every day of the week. We’re shooting in the middle of the night.

Alexandre: In the same way that sometimes when you write a text, and you need to see it afresh, you print it out or you change font, with all these tricks, imagine that you write in English, and then you rewrite the dialogue in French. That’s a real seeing it afresh.

Natalie: Alex was born in France. My family’s from Armenia. They went to France in exile. I grew up with the two languages. That being said, we live in America. Our French is very, very good, but-

Alexandre: It’s different.

Natalie: -it’s different.

Alexandre: It’s not the natural thing to write in.

Natalie: There was a moment where we wrote something, and it turned out to be not–

Alexandre: It’s a sexual innuendo that we did not know.

Natalie: Did not mean what we thought it meant.

John: Didn’t [inaudible 00:11:56]

Alexandre: Yes.

[laughter]

John: You won’t have heard the episode yet, but Joachim Trier came on the podcast-

Natalie: Oh, amazing.

Alexandre: Oh, wow.

John: -to talk about Sentimental Value. His script was written in Norwegian, but with a lot of English in it. Then, of course, there’s also an English script, which is an important part of the process along the way. For your script, you’re writing this in English. Then, were your French producers reading the English version or reading your French version, or both? How did that work?

Natalie: Oh, that’s a good question.

Alexandre: We were translating it with every draft. People complain sometimes about making documents. Well, imagine that you have to make all your pictures, all your treatments, all your scripts, and then each time update them in each language.

Natalie: At a certain point, we stopped writing in English, and we were just writing in French.

Alexandre: Once we locked pages, we were in French, and we just concentrated on that script. Then, as Natalie says, we were rewriting during rehearsal, we would rewrite on set, we would rewrite the voiceover.

Natalie: Some of this, you can see on our Instagram page. We did a video where we compared one of our main actresses’ audition with the actual film. You can see the dialogue has changed. We’re not tied to the words. It’s the sentiment that counts.

Alexandre: I would say, for example, probably the best thing we did in this entire process was choosing the title of our film, because choosing the title of a film costs you zero, nothing. Having a distinctive title– Our first film was titled The Appointment.

Natalie: Too general.

John: Too general.

Natalie: Too general.

Alexandre: Too general.

Natalie: We realized almost immediately. It was too late. We thought of the right title very quickly, but yes, it was already out in the world.

Alexandre: When we came up with this title, there was a lot of pushback, not just from our producers who thought, “Oh, it sounds good in English, but it’s ugly in French.”

Natalie: Then our American friends were like, “It sounds great in French, but it’s really ugly in English.”

John: It’s distinctive. I remember when it crossed my email inbox, I was like, “Oh,” I recognized it’s stuck in my head.

Natalie: It’s also just, for us, tonally appropriate. It describes a romantic act, but in a very clinical, absurdist way. That is the tone of the film. It is at once romantic and absurd. For us, it just made so much sense. In general, my biggest piece of advice for anyone making anything is, “Do not dull the edges.”

Alexandre: Be a bit spikey.

Natalie: Yes. Also, make those bold decisions. It’s important to really stick to your gut and do the thing that you want to make and not constantly pander to everyone’s opinion.

Alexandre: You can’t make everybody happy. In this day and age, you need to make a subsection of your audience just effing love your film, and some people are not going to like it, and that’s how things are.

John: All right. The short exists. It’s wonderful. Congratulations on it. I really want to focus on you have a short, what do you do with the short? You say you have these French producers, you have a way to make this thing, but you’re going to have this short film. When did you know what the plan was, what festivals to go to, how to launch this into the world?

Alexandre: This is the paradoxical thing I wanted to say. With our first short, we had perhaps the naive ambition that this would be our ticket to the professional world. It came out in March 2020 on the festival circuit. We met zero people. It did nothing for our careers whatsoever. In some ways, we had a– what’s the expression, the Irish expression, a lonergan?

John: A mulligan, yes.

Alexandre: A mulligan. A Kenneth Lonergan.

[laughter]

John: A Kenneth Lonergan to mulligan, yes.

Alexandre: We made this film with no ulterior motive whatsoever. I think, paradoxically, that is its strength. It’s a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. It switches perspectives between not just two characters, but actually briefly three characters, something that’s not even advisable to do in a feature film. In that sense, there was no plan whatsoever. We just poured our sincere artistic and creative ideas into the film. Then, after having made it, thought, “Oh bleep, what are we going to do?” because no sales agent would take it. There were very few festivals that we could apply to.

Natalie: Especially in Europe. It’s a European film. The duration limits for shorts on the festival circuit are determined by the awards. In the US, it’s 40 minutes because that is what the Academy Awards deems a short film. In Europe, it’s 30 minutes because that’s what the European Awards deems a short film. As a 36-minute film, we were not eligible for 90% of film festivals. We didn’t even know shorts distributors were a thing.

John: Tell me, to what degree are they a thing? I don’t have a good sense of what the distribution mechanism really is. I know The New Yorker because The New Yorker has good ones, but tell me what you found.

Alexandre: There is a wonderful, rich world of short filmmaking that is centered around mostly more international festivals. The number one festival for international short films is called Clermont-Ferrand. It is happening right now in Clermont-Ferrand in France. It’s described as the Cannes of short films.

Natalie: Honestly, we had heard of it, and we knew its reputation, but until you experience it, you can’t imagine the quality and the care that is put into this film festival. For instance, it’s the only film festival in the world where, between shorts, they bring up the lights. It’s like a palate cleanser. They tell you, this is a moment of respite, and then–

Alexandre: They change the Dolby level for each film. It’s very, very carefully thought out.

Natalie: The cinemas are enormous. The smallest is 300 seats, and the largest is 1500. You’re playing every day for 10 days in amphitheaters, and every screening is sold out. We played on a Monday at 9:00 AM once. I was like, “Alex, prepare yourself. The weekend screenings were full, but who is going to come to this 700-person cinema at 9:00 AM on a Monday? It was full.

Alexandre: This is the Sundance and Cannes of short films. There are short film distributors there who distribute the films for French and German television channels. They are trying to sell on all different kinds of platforms.

Natalie: Yes, including Criterion, MUBI, Netflix. They’re pitching these things to everyone, but it is primarily a European market, I would say.

Alexandre: It is rare for a short film to get enormous visibility. The Oscar shortlist and Oscar nomination is a type of visibility that is incomparable to the amount of eyeballs at these kind of events.

John: Was Clermont your first festival you debuted in?

Natalie: No. We debuted at the Telluride Film Festival in August 2024, which was, again, something that had been recommended to us. It felt like a pipe dream because they only take five to seven shorts.

Alexandre: Seven. Seven shorts.

John: Wow.

Natalie: Seven shorts. They’re one of the few film festivals that’ll take a short up to 60 minutes. In that sense, we were like, “Well, we have to try.”

Alexandre: If any of your listeners are wondering, did we have an in? Yes, there are ways to get into these festivals, but that is very much the exception. We applied on the website. We sent in our little fee, as we did for all of the festivals, and we got in blind.

Natalie: Yes. We really didn’t expect to get in, so much so that we went on vacation, not having finished the film, because we were so sure that it was an impossibility. Day 1 of our vacation, we find out that we’re in, and the festival’s in four weeks, and we had to cancel our vacation, fly back to New York, finish the film in a rush with our sound designer because we had just started the sound design.

Alexandre: Then at the second festival, we showed out here in Los Angeles, AFI FEST, we won the Grand Jury Prize, which meant that we qualified, too, for the Oscar longlist. We knew almost a year in advance that this was a possibility, and we had a discussion about it, and we felt–

Natalie: We knew it was a possibility, and we prepared over the last year for this journey, were it to happen. That being said, it all felt really like a magical idea, not something that was a reality. No matter how many people told us, “Your film is very good. It could get shortlisted. It could get nominated,” it didn’t feel like a reality until it happened.

John: Telluride, Los Angeles, then you know you’re on the longlist. Then I imagine it becomes easier to get into other festivals because they know what you are.

Alexandre: You would hope so.

John: You would hope so, but [inaudible 00:20:15]

Alexandre: Actually, no. Ironically, the festivals that you think you’re going to get into, you don’t. It’s very hard to predict.

Natalie: Yes, but I would say that our first three festivals were so strong. At Clermont-Ferrand, we won the Audience Prize and the Canal+ Prize, which meant that we had distribution in France and Switzerland and French territories. It was already, for me, such a Cinderella dream-like situation.

Alexandre: That was the beginning of, to get back to your very original question, that was when those conversations that we had even stopped thinking about started to happen. We were approached by international producers asking, “Would you be interested in making this into a feature film?” Those conversations started happening quicker and quicker. More people approached us. We participated in the Square Peg event in October before even making shortlist. Something that we had been listening to for many years on the show about managers and generals and agents that we had always thought, “Oh, we’re just thinking about the craft stuff. That doesn’t really apply to us,” we entered into that world.

Started having meetings in Europe, the UK, and also in Los Angeles and New York with production companies that represent actors, financiers, now also with some of the studios, and learning as we were going along what those meetings were. I think it was a few meetings in before we realized, “Oh, this is a general meeting.”

Natalie: Because we didn’t make this short with any intention of making it into a feature, we did a scriptwriter’s lab in France that’s a little bit like the Sundance of France, called Groupe Ouest. There, we gave ourselves a few weeks or a couple of months to really discover, “Is there a feature in this short? What would it mean to do that? What form does it take?” We gave ourselves the freedom to play again. It was in that process that we found the emotional throughline of what the feature would be.

Alexandre: We also started to develop some of the other ideas that we’d been thinking about, often ideas that had been generated in the last 18 months that were similar to the short and similar to the feature ideas that, on their surface, are absolutely ridiculous, but that we treat quite seriously because, for the characters in these worlds, this is very serious for them. We started to get a sense of what our “voice” is, what it is that we bring to the table, and feeling quite confident about the kind of films that we want to write, the kind of films that we want to make.

To harken back to a previous recent episode, the short at 36 minutes, when we go into meetings, people say to us, “We feel confident that you guys can pull off a feature film.” That’s not always the case with a short, and that is not something we had strategically decided to do. We had done it very sincerely, rather naively, but the end product was that that’s how these meetings have been going.

John: All right. Let’s talk about past success stories, people who’ve transitioned from, “Oh, you got a lot of attention,” and then that short film got them started on a career, and then we can talk about sometimes it doesn’t work, and the decisions that you guys are making that everyone has to make about how to prioritize what to do next and where to put your efforts and energy.

Taika Waititi, Two Cars, One Night, nominated for the Academy Award for Best Live Action Short, 2005. 20 years ago, Taika Waititi got started, went from that to Eagle vs Shark, and lots of other things. Andrea Arnold with Wasp, also 2005. Martin McDonagh, the short film Six Shooter in 2006. Shane Acker had his animated short 9, which became a feature film 9.

Damien Chazelle had Whiplash, the short version of it, which was a proof of concept, which became the film. It’s a short film, but it got attention. Jim Cummings with Thunder Road from Sundance, the Grand Jury Prize. David Sandberg, Lights Out, which started as a short. I always send people to Lights Out because it is just such a great, small, little short concept, and they were able to make the feature version of that.

Those are all great success stories. What’s tougher to find, it’s un-Googleable, is the silent evidence of the people who had really great short films that got attention, they got an Academy Award, then you can look up and say, “What have they been doing since then?” unless you call them up and ask, “What went wrong, or what happened?”

It’s because they were all at this moment that you’re at right now, which is they have the heat, they have the attention, and what do they do next? A little spoiler, you are thinking about a feature version of the short as one of the things?

Natalie: We are, yes. I think that we have the advantage of being slightly older, and having had careers in a different field, and coming to the film industry with our first short, it was quite naively, and now less naively. I think that’s an advantage for us. At the same time, I think one of the reasons that people are very interested in the short, but also in other projects that we’re pitching, is because in this moment, when it’s very difficult to get people, the high concept or more absurdist-leaning films are the ones that are working. That is what comes naturally to us. A lot of our ideas are–

Alexandre: The A24 and Neon things, which they’re a little bit bigger swings.

John: Bigger swings–

Natalie: Also, one of the reasons that we did this shift in our careers was because what we love about cinema is the relationship to the public and to the audience, which is very different than it is in the visual arts. Really, you make an artwork, and you hope that people will have a response to it, but really, there’s no relationship between a painting and an audience in the way that there is in a movie theater.

John: You have very different audiences. You have the random museum goer, but you also have the curation aspect of that, and who are the tastemakers, decision makers? That’s all a very different thing.

Natalie: Yes. The tastemakers in the visual art world are the key to everything, whereas in the film world, the audience is everything. When you’re making a film, you’re entering a contract with the public, and you’re saying, “Over this period of time, whether it’s 36 minutes or 2 hours or 3 1/2 hours, I will take you on a journey, and it will be worth your time and the money that you spend to come here.”

Alexandre: “We will challenge you, we will push you away, we will bring you in, we’ll make you laugh, we’ll make you cry.”

Natalie: We came to it with an incredible amount of generosity towards the audience. “We’re making a weird film, but we’ve made it with a lot of heart.” I think that comes through. It was those things that have made the film very attractive to people, and the fact that we do want to make things that are– Joachim Trier is a perfect example. Recently, he said, “Tenderness is the new punk,” and we could not agree more. For us, a film cannot just be high-concept. It needs to have that emotional heart. It’s those two things in concert with one another that we try to achieve with the short, and that we hope every single feature that hopefully we make in the future will have as well.

John: I want to talk about the feature version of the short, which there’s lots of challenges to do that because the engines are going to be different for that kind of situation. You could approach this as, like Damien Chazelle did with Whiplash, “I have a vision for a feature film, and here’s the short that is a proof of concept that lets me expand into that.” I see so many people who try to do short films that are just shorter versions of their feature film, and they are almost always terrible because they don’t have the engine for a successful short film. They don’t have the setup development payoff, the joke structure that you’d actually need for a short film to work.

In your case, I can’t imagine you actually would have written the feature version of this first. It was just because the short film exists and you actually know the world, and you can think about, “Where does it want to go?” that it makes sense to try to do a feature version of it, knowing that it’s going to be different and it’s not the same thing as it’s going to work in the feature version.

Alexandre: In some ways, we’re adapting a short film that we have seen and loved, and that really spoke to us, and we have ideas about how we would expand that world and what we believe to be the emotional throughline of the story, the vertebra that we would hang the story on, and what the larger engine would be.

John: That’s proof of concept. There’s also, I would say, a proof of execution. You talk, Alexandre, about you realize you have a voice and you have taste. Basically, you have a way of presenting the world. You were saying that tenderness is the new punk. That vision could be applied to a different movie. As you’re having conversations with people or pitching other things that you want to do, if it fits in the same space that they’re seeing from this first film, that’s really helpful. If you were to show up with this short film and say, “I really want to do an animated story about gnomes,” I’m just like, “I’m not so sure.” “I want to do a dark and grungy thing that is completely different than this,” everyone’s like, “That’s not helpful for me. I can’t help you there.”

Natalie: I think that would be really tricky.

Alexandre: One of our strengths is, and this comes from maybe a visual or background, is that we have a lot of ideas all the time. Out of those ideas, many of those ideas are not necessarily in our lane, in our wheelhouse. Sure, we could tell a Sundance coming-of-age story. We have ideas for those kind of stories, but we have enough stories that very much echo the qualities that people have been attracted to in the short. In these meetings and conversations, I think it’s been a very natural fit because the ideas that we’re pitching really resonates with what they’ve seen us execute with the short film.

Natalie: Before, I was talking about cinema-going and how there’s been a decline, and at least studios feel like we need more films like this. It’s also the times that we’re living in. We’re living in a moment where the ridiculous and the horrific are side by side like almost never before, or at least in a while now. I think that there is something about that. There’s a tonal line that we’re constantly–

Alexandre: There’s an urgency that we feel as storytellers that I think the people we’re meeting with are feeling. Our film is not a necessarily political film in a didactic sense. It’s not a PSA at the end where there’s a little chiron that gives you facts that, “In France, many people are put into boxes because they have…” [laughter]

John: It’s absurdist in the way Terry Gilliam films are absurdist. It’s a sense of this is a crazy world, but you can see the clear parallels to Brazil.

Alexandre: As crazy as Brazil is, there are aspects of Brazil that chill us and that have resonances with today. I think often of that scene where it’s Michael Palin who is a torturer and Michael Palin comes out covered in blood, and they have a conversation about their children. That is actually a feeling that inspires our film, that dissonance between the everyday comfort of the society that we’re existing in right now, where I’m drinking some tea, having a wonderful conversation with John in this beautiful location in Los Angeles, meanwhile, we’ve just been experiencing what’s been happening in Minneapolis, in Maine, what is happening in Iran right now. All these things are happening at the same time, and how do we, as human beings, navigate that and find meaning in our lives in these very dissonant moments?

John: You said two or three months before the nominations is really when you actually felt like a change happened, and it was actually very meaningful. When did you recognize that something had shifted? Was it the amount of incoming calls and emails, and you started to have meetings with reps, and figuring out where you wanted to go next? Talk to us about that time and what decisions you had to make.

Alexandre: I would say I had an image that came into my mind around this moment that somewhere on the planet there was a switch and that someone flipped this switch. Suddenly, as in a 1960s Hanna-Barbera cartoon, we are running after the industry. Suddenly, we exit frame. Suddenly, we’re running back the other way, and they’re running after us. How that happened, what that was, we felt that suddenly there was a switch that flipped.

Natalie: In 24 hours, we met with all the agencies, and not because we had planned it that way. It just happened to be that there was a confluence of events. We were also just out there in the world in a way that we normally aren’t, because as people that come from the arts, we are a little bit more interior-facing. We’re used to being in our little cubby, writing one in front of the other. Suddenly, we were really out in the world showing the film in a very public way. All of that attention– Our trailer had just come out on Deadline, too. Suddenly, there was a flood of emails in our inbox, “We would like to see the-

John: Full short.

Natalie: -full short.” Then meetings started to happen, and everything was one after another. There was a pressure to make a decision right away, which was very stressful. At the same time, now that we have representation, it’s opened so many doors. We really were skeptical. Is this a useful thing? There were some people that were advising us, “Don’t tie yourself down. It’s great to be an independent agent.” As two people that do not come from the film industry, this has been incredibly helpful for us.

Alexandre: We’ve had the experience coming from visual art of being the little engine pushing all those carriages up the hill, raising the money, producing it ourselves, building the sets ourselves.

Natalie: Alex taught himself VFX for this film because we didn’t have the budget.

Alexandre: I did a pre-visualization of the whole film in Blender, so a 3D animation of the film. We’re used to doing everything. I think it’s good to keep having that energy, but all that representation is very additive. Suddenly, you are accelerating. It’s like in Mario Kart when you go with the lines, and suddenly you start to go faster. It increases momentum.

Natalie: There was just so many things that happened all at the same time.

Alexandre: A lot of luck. I think luck is something that we don’t appreciate. So many people are lucky the first time. They begin life, like a game of Monopoly, and they roll double six, and then they roll double six again, and they roll double six again. Suddenly, they’re sitting in, be it a creative field, or they invested in cryptocurrency, or they are the richest man in the world, and they don’t realize that so much of that was luck. We are just as creative and hardworking as so many of our friends, and we just happen to be in the right position at the right time.

That said, we’ve had full careers in the visual arts. This hasn’t happened one week coming out of film school at age 21, but still getting the cast that we got to say yes, shooting the film, and the building not burning down, or no one having a heart attack, or all the things that could go wrong on a film–

John: It’s not just all the things that went right. It’s all the things that could have gone wrong, which somehow you avoided.

Alexandre: Also, the same is true for the life of the film. You get into that festival. It just happens to be, for example, at Telluride, those shorts are selected by Barry Jenkins, who chose our short because he has an affinity for French, black, and white cinema, and then has gone on to support the film. So many of these encounters and things that have happened professionally have been a mixture of luck and our hard work.

Natalie: We find ourselves here today because of a chance encounter.

John: I want to go back because, Drew, can you take a look and figure out when did we first get contacted about this short?

Drew: Good question.

John: Because I know we got it–

Natalie: I’m sure our publicist– [laughs]

John: It was your publicist, because your publicist has been dogged, which is great. It totally makes sense. I was thinking it’s both a fire burns, but also people were scraping sparks there a lot.

Alexandre: Yes, very much so. The publicist was dogged because we said, a year ago, “Oh, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could go on Scriptnotes? It will be a dream come true.”

Natalie: Really, this is where our cinema education begins. For us, this is a dream come true in many ways.

Alexandre: A similar thing happened with Charli XCX, who wrote a review of our film on Letterboxd. Around a year ago, her Letterboxd account was made public. I was watching TikToks where she was talking about a film– I think you recently talked about her Substack on the– I was thinking, “She is really incredible. She has incredible taste. She’s very smart. I think she would really like our film.” We did what anyone would do. We asked, “Does anybody know her neighbors, gardeners, dog walkers?” We went in so many directions. Nothing happened for an entire year. Eventually, our manager said, “Let me just reach out to her agent.”

Natalie: No, it was still like one person led to another person led to another person.

Alexandre: I’m at home flicking through Letterboxd, and I follow Charli. She’s one of my “friends” on Letterboxd. Suddenly, she posts about a film, and it’s our film. I think I jumped off the couch. I was so excited.

John: Did you find the first email?

Drew: December 22nd, 2025.

John: That’s pretty recently. That’s pretty recently. My manager separately had reached out, so that’s another connection. Clearly, he probably had a meeting with you or his company had meetings with you about stuff. Also sent it to me. Then, of course, Matt Byrne, who was my former assistant, had met you randomly at a party and made these connections. We talk on the show so often about, “Do you need to live in Los Angeles? Do you need to live in New York?” No, you don’t, but the fact that you were in New York at the same time there and at a party, just being around people who are doing the thing you can do, leads to the chance of encounters. If you were just in a house in Maine, it would be less likely for that to have happened.

Natalie: For sure. I mean, it’s incredibly helpful being in New York or LA. I mean, we’ve been here quite a bit as a result of all of this. That being said, I think going on the festival journey was also really valuable. That was the first step, really. It’s just making friends in the industry. Not people above you, but that are trying-

Alexandre: Your peers.

Natalie: -to do the exact same thing, that are doing the exact same thing, and really just connecting on a creative level.

Alexandre: We’ve met filmmakers who are the equivalent of someone who lives in the woods in Maine, who then goes on the festival circuit and meets lots of people and then returns home to recharge and doesn’t have to pay New York City rents.

John: There are helpful things about living in the hub of all this stuff. From the podcast, you know that Drew went off and made a short film that he’s now submitting to festivals. He has learned a bunch of stuff. I thought we might learn from what he’s learned and get your feedback on how the experiences overlap.

Drew: It sounds like they already figured it out before. I had to go through a process to figure it out, but I wrote a bunch of stuff as I was going of, “Oh, this is–” and tell me if I’m wrong too on any of this. First one was, part of why the comedy isn’t working is because I’m shooting this like a drama. There’s a difference, and it’s not just letting things live in the wide.

Natalie: Interesting.

John: Do you consider your short a comedy or a drama?

Alexandre: It’s absurdist, but–

Natalie: It’s absurdist. I would say that we categorize it as an absurdist drama, which means that it has–

John: Is it dramedy?

Natalie: I just call it absurdist. It has elements of comedy in it.

Alexandre: Without sounding too highfalutin and egotistical, Shakespeare’s work mixes pathos and bathos, I think, of the Grave Digger scene in Hamlet. Joachim Trier’s work, within the same scene, it’s mixing comedy and serious drama together. As to the question as to whether comedy works more in the wide,– That is–

John: Well, it does, but there’s some ineffable thing that in previous shorts I’d done, it was much funnier, that tended to be the cheaper stuff that I did. Then doing this, and it looks beautiful, and we have all these beautiful lenses, and it feels so heavy. I’m trying to figure out if that’s framing or if that’s light or what it is, but I’m trying to get to the heart of it.

Alexandre: It’s hard to say because sometimes comedy really comes from editing and pacing whereas a joke is about delivery, and that involves cutting and coverage in some ways. Sometimes comedy comes from the awkward and the uncomfortable. I think, for example, of Ruben Östlund’s films where everything is happening on a wide, and this short is going on for a really long time, and I feel really uncomfortable, and the kind of Larry David idea of comedy, the uncomfortable idea of comedy. I think it’s difficult to say without having seen the film which direction something works or doesn’t work in.

John: Let’s talk about during production, you had an idea about takes.

Drew: Oh, yes. I wrote, more takes is actually better. Try letting actors do three or four takes on their own before you start redirecting.

Natalie: I think in an ideal scenario, you have more takes. In our experience, we just never get past take three because we always have to move on.

Alexandre: I have an idea that seven is the perfect amount of takes. The reason being that it takes two or three takes for everyone to just get into the flow of things, get warmed up, as it were.

John: For your DP to stop fiddling with things.

Alexandre: Yes. By four, five, and six, usually you’re going to hit your best, best takes. Then seven is your coverage, or just in case, or just so we all feel like we’ve covered it.

John: Do a weird one.

Alexandre: If you’re going to take nine, 10, 11, or 12, it’s because something isn’t working and that’s no shade on anybody. That’s because either something technically or we haven’t found it yet.

Natalie: That being said, Alex and I, we always do a complete pre-visualization of the film, especially because there are two of us and because we have very little onset experience, we need to have a plan going into the shoot. We cannot show up and just be like, let’s find it. That doesn’t mean we don’t deviate. We do deviate from time to time, but we’re always coming in knowing, okay, we do have a plan that works. There are parts of our film that are a one-to-one replica. I think that preparation is the most valuable thing for us.

John: I want to talk about the pre-visualization for a second too, because the next thing is film a popsicle stick version. What I did is I did a storyboard. That didn’t catch little things of like how long it takes for this person to walk from here to here. I really should have done, and it sounds like Alex, you used Blender, and that was so smart.

Alexandre: I’ve had the experience on our first short of doing storyboards drawn by hand in Photoshop, but it’s real drawing, and then being very reticent to change them because it took me a long time to draw them. Whereas in this pre-visualization, you are able to change shorts very quickly, change the blocking very quickly.

Natalie: It also meant that we could edit them together. First, we scanned all our environments using an app called Polycam, and then we created this 3D model. Then Alex, he would create these little marionettes, and he would put the camera in 30 different places. I would look at him and be like, [crosstalk] this is far too many options because obviously we’re not going to have 30 setups for each of these scenes. Sometimes even within those 30 setups, I’d be like, none of these are right. We would go in, and then we would find what is the most economical and also the best way to tell this particular scene.

Alexandre: One of the things about location scouting that we found quite difficult is that you’ll, on one day and one morning, go visit five locations. You have 20 minutes. Imagine we’re shooting in here, and my immediate thought is, oh, can we get a great wide if we were up there in that corner? Oh, we’re going to have to go get a ladder. There I am with the camera, not really quite comfortable. Whereas we can come in, we can scan it, not knowing whether we’re actually going to shoot in it.

Then as we’re cleaning up the model, I’ll be underneath the table because there was strange little jagged edges. Suddenly I see, oh, there’s a short where I see just John’s foot tapping. Oh, I would never have thought to do this, but this could be an interesting way to begin the scene. There was a lot of the inspiration process happened in the pre-visualization in the same way that as you’re writing, you have those moments in the shower where inspiration arrives, like a little elf suddenly appears on your shoulder. That happens over the weeks, months, days, years of the writing process.

Then also in the pre-production process, you are open to those moments of inspiration, just like as when you’re on set, you have your storyboard. Suddenly in the camera, we had a scene where our character, Angine, is dreaming about the girl she loves, Malice. She imagines herself wearing the iconic geometric black and white dress. As she is walking towards the changing booth, as we’re shooting it on the dolly, the camera suddenly started shifting down, booming by accident, like a mistake. Everybody suddenly stopped and said, that’s the short, this mistake.

That inspiration happened by accident. It’s about being open to all those moments. Maybe the drawn storyboards can, unless you’re Pixar and you’ve had 10 years to storyboard the shit out of this thing.

John: Even Pixar, they animate those things right away. Your last point I want to focus on is to this. It’s hard not to focus on what’s not happening in a take, but I need to figure out how to see what is happening. Here’s what I take from that is that if I’m looking at the monitor, my eye is drawn to everything that’s wrong. I’m trying to fix everything that’s wrong, but it’s hard for me to say, oh, that’s actually really good because you get distracted by all of the errors and it’s so hard to focus in on what’s right.

Natalie: I think the only thing that matters personally is the actor. Everyone that is watching the film is watching it for the first time most of the time. Hopefully, your film is so good that people will watch it a second and third and fourth time. Even when you’re watching it a second time, people just have a way of zeroing in on a person’s face because that is where all of the emotion. That is what they’re reading into.

Alexandre: We have 100 million years of evolution, which involves looking at people with two eyes and a nose and trying to figure out, does this person want to eat me or make love to me? Now they’re being sincere about it. Performance is what we are dialed into. Everything else can fall away. There’s a scene in the Coen brothers’ film Barton Fink where the studio boss, who has been asking him to make this boxing movie and he doesn’t know how to write it, hauls him back in.

In the previous scenes, he’d been so magnanimous and so generous and so like, oh, don’t worry about it. You’re a genius. You’re a New York author. I’m going to support you. He absolutely berates him and destroys him. During that scene, I think he has these lapels because it’s during the Second World War. His lapels are moving around like nobody’s business. It doesn’t matter. The performance is all that matters. I think Walter Murch said the same thing.

Natalie: It’s always the thing that I’m zeroing in on. It’s just like, what is happening on the actor’s face? Is it communicating what this scene is about? Because all the other stuff is noise.

Alexandre: There’s a thing that happens in filmmaking that I’ve rarely heard people talk about publicly, but I think is the most magical and beautiful part of filmmaking. We like to stand very close to the camera lens with those tiny little monitors. Whether we are really receptive to the character and the actor, whatever that thing is, that hybrid of the two, what they’re feeling at that moment. You’re watching the film on that little monitor, and suddenly you know that we have just shifted into the actual film. You just know that this is going to be projected for history.

Natalie: Hopefully.

Alexandre: Frankly, hopefully. For those 10 seconds and then it sort of like drifts away. That is one of the most almost like spiritual moments of filming that is so beautiful.

John: Yes, Drew. I think I would say is that, yes, you’re noticing all the things that aren’t working, but like Alexander is saying, there’s moments where you get that little vibe like, oh, that’s it. That’s it. Every day you’re basically chasing that. There’s times where I was like, I didn’t have that the whole time through, but I have the pieces to get me to that. Then you have to make the choice like, I guess I moved on because I’m going to have to stitch that together in editing.

Drew: I think one thing I was fighting was, so you get in the edit and then you watch a take that when you watched it, you were like, the actor’s not doing the right thing. Then you see like, oh, they’re doing something else that’s actually there’s value to that, of course. Like, oh, shit, I missed this gem that they were bringing and maybe push them away from something that could have been interesting.

John: Because you, you had a vision on your head.

Drew: I was like, yes, the character’s running in this direction. They were like, actually, if we go this path, it’s interesting.

Alexandre: Parathetically, having had not that much experience making films yet, when you’re on set and you’re doing a scene, it’s like play. It’s creative. Even though the clock is ticking and your first AD is hovering there whispering in your ear, you have to pretend like, [crosstalk] to use a cruder analogy, like making love, that you have all the time in the world and that you are completely relaxed and that you are here to play and you are here to play with one another and that your actors are creative collaborators, inspiring partners, and they’re offering ideas and you’re offering ideas back.

There are probably filmmakers who have a global totalitarian vision of what the film is and maybe like Hitchcock, they are manipulating their marionettes. I think you, Akim Trier, and all other great filmmakers have probably said it’s about this exchange and you’re playing tennis with them.

John: We have two listener questions that are surprisingly on topic here. Let’s start with this first one, who’s an Oscar-nominated filmmaker.

Drew: Unwrapped writes, “As a seasoned documentary filmmaker who earned an Oscar nomination in the mid-2010s, I’m struggling to move forward in the industry. I never secured representation after the nod because I was working comfortably in academia and assumed the nomination would keep doors open. Years later, after leaving academia, I found myself an Oscar-nominated filmmaker with a strong but limited body of work, a piece of evergreen IP, no representation, and no clear path into the current marketplace.

Is there any viable route for someone like me to secure representation in a business that now expects new heat, recent sales, or major attachments before anyone will even take a meeting, even though those require representation to achieve in the first place? I’m in a Catch-22.”

John: Here’s a person who was in your place and didn’t capitalize on the moment that things passed by. I think they need to do something new because you can’t rekindle off that older thing.

Natalie: I think you either have to create something new, like another short, unfortunately, that catches fire, or you have to write a feature that is undeniably great. I think that great scripts are hard to come by. I think that people are always searching for that next film that’s going to bring bodies into the theater.

Alexandre: I do have a theory about this topic, which is that the greatest films are made by 19-year-olds who don’t know what they’re doing and are just full of gusto and confidence and 45, 55, 65-year-olds, and I think of Milton writing Paradise Lost in his 80s when he was blind, who just at a certain point give up on trying to play the game. They’ve had enough of trying to write vampire stories because that’s fashionable. They’ve given up on trying to make a new Yellowstone.

They just write the thing that they really care about, paradoxically, that they don’t think will work in the marketplace whatsoever. Those are the kind of ideas that actually really grab people’s attention. It’s hard to say to someone to do that, but just really dig in.

Natalie: I do think it’s really important not to think about what the market wants and to make something that feels very true to yourself.

John: I would say that it feels like the doors are closed, but I think with some new thing, you have an advantage of getting those doors to open up again. If you made a short that you were submitting to things like, oh, you’re the Oscar-winning director of this other thing, they’re going to pay more attention to you, which is good, which is helpful.

Natalie: Yes, absolutely.

Drew: People love comebacks.

John: That’s also nice. Question from Leah.

Drew: Leah writes, I’m directing a short film and have a producer going out with offers to actors. Should we be attaching the script to the offer email or waiting for the agent to respond back and then sending the script to them? I’m not sure if agent emails have filters that put anything in the trash immediately, that has an attachment for someone they don’t know, or if it’s better to save time at the front end of the convo by preemptively sending the script.

John: What did you guys do for your script as you were going out after actors?

Alexandre: I think we always attached it.

Natalie: We always attached it.

Alexandre: It’s not enough time to have that back.

Natalie: The script was what attracted people. I think it’s really always important. People always ask us, how did you get this amazing cast? It’s like, we just asked. You always have to ask. You just never know.

Alexandre: In some ways, people don’t ask them and so they’re flattered. You never know. If they’re not interested, they’re not interested, and you may as well try.

John: It’s a short film also. It’s not secret information. It’s not a huge ask. If they’re curious, they’ll open up the PDF, look through it, and if it’s good, they’ll send it along. I don’t think it’s a problem.

Drew: Did you guys do cover letters to your actors?

Natalie: We did, always. I knew we do cover letters for the smallest thing. I’m like, would you like it?

[laughter]

Alexandre: No, we only wrote it to those actresses and that particular man. I think it’s always good to articulate. We’re not just going out to you because you’re well-known or because you’re a great actor. It’s because something about your work and who you are as a human being, because often, who they are as an artist, is woven into who they are as a human being. It profoundly touches us and connects with us and connects to this story. I think sincerity is a very powerful thing.

Natalie: Yes. The reasons that you want to work with someone should be very specific. We always take the time to articulate what that is and to write something that’s personal because when you’re making art, it is personal.

Alexandre: Can I ask a listener question?

Drew: Please.

[laughter]

Alexandre: I’ve always wanted to write in with a listener question, and this is much easier. Natalie and I have a four-year-old daughter. We have careers. I’m a visual artist. Natalie is an art historian. Those things have really been on the back burner whilst we were making this film, and specifically when we were making this campaign. Every week, I listen into a podcast, and I hear John and Craig talk about– I know John has Highland Software. He is making games. He’s also writing young adult fiction, and he’s also playing D&D on Sundays or-

John: Thursdays, yes.

Alexandre: On Thursdays, and also playing some video games.

John: Rarely, but occasionally, yes.

Alexandre: Then he’s also writing great feature film scripts, and then apparently also does a podcast, I’ve heard, as well. Where is this magic time machine where you are using– are your days 28, 32 hours long rather than 24?

John: No, it did– Drew, maybe you can help out.

Drew: I also have this question. I’m around John more than anyone else in my life.

John: I get a lot done, for sure. If I write two hours a day, that’s great. I get a lot done, but there’s a lot of other stuff I want to do, and I just find ways to do it. Also, I think I’m really good at recognizing the common patterns between things. The software stuff isn’t really that different than the filmmaking stuff I’m doing because I’m using Highland every day to write everything I’m doing. All the other stuff, too.

Drew: You have your to-do lists, which I think helps focus you quite a lot.

John: I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but I have my daily list, which I print out a sheet that’s folded in fourths. It’s just what I’m going to do, things I need to do today. It’s a checklist of those things. There’s some stuff that’s pre-printed on there. My Duolingo and my other stuff that’s drastically done every day. I fill that list, and that’s my plan for the day. I get basically everything on that list done every day. That helps a lot. I try to make sure they are very– I’m writing the actual achievable thing that I can do.

That’s the next action aspect of it all. I make a list, and I get the things on the list done. That’s how it gets down to it. You have a four-year-old. Also, it’s recognizing that any plan fails against a child. It’s just like children are– they will take every bit of everything, but they’re also wonderful.

All right, it’s time for one cool thing. My one cool thing, keeping with this whole theme, is a short film. It’s a short film called Troy by Mike Donahue. It’s from two years ago, I think. It’s a comedy about this New York couple who become obsessed with their neighbor who is a sex worker. They get too involved in his life.

It’s really well done. It’s a perfect New Yorker short film. It’s exactly what you want from it. The YouTube algorithm just served it to me randomly, so thank you. It’s just really delightfully done. Troy by Mike Donahue. I’ll put a link in the show notes to that. Natalie, what do you have to share with us?

Natalie: I would like to share the New York Public Library’s picture collection, which is where we begin all of our projects. Oftentimes, even before we know what a story will be or a script will be, we’ll go in. It is a physical place in the New York Public Library on the 42nd Street, 5th Avenue.

Alexandre: The Lions Building.

Natalie: The Lions Building, the iconic building. It’s a room in which there are like-

Alexandre: 2.8 million images that have been cut out of books, newspapers, magazines over the last 50, 60 years. In an age where we are experiencing AI that is regurgitating images and art back to us, making us into Studio Ghibli characters. When visual research sometimes involves just typing in a location or an idea into Google and seeing the first-hand images that come back, which are always going to be the same images. There’s something about the serendipity of going into this place and digging through images that are not online, that are sometimes misclassified, that sometimes have a different image on the backside, and being inspired.

Natalie: Oftentimes, the story will take a turn because of something that we’ve seen in the picture collection. It’s just sort of a magical place for us, so we always come back to it.

John: A question, just because Alexander just completely took over your one cool thing. You’re married, and do you set a time of like, we’re going to stop being our creative selves at a certain point and just be a married couple?

Natalie: No, it’s impossible. Yes. No, I think that’s part of the fun, too. The triumphs we celebrate together, the disappointments we also get to weather together. I can’t really imagine it any other way. It became very obvious very early on that we would make a really good duo because we have the exact same taste and we love the exact same things, but we bring totally different things to the table. It ends up– I always get sad when duos break up because once they do start to make films independently, you can actually see what they brought. You’re like, oh, but you know, it was the combination.

John: Those brothers are so good together.

[laughter]

Alexandre: Which ones? There’s been a few.

John: That’s why I pick brothers. No, not those brothers. Yes.

Natalie: Yes. I feel really grateful that we work together and there are arguments here and there.

John: There’s creative friction.

Natalie: There’s creative friction from time to time, like in any duo. At the same time, I would say 90% of the time we agree, and when we don’t, it’s the detail that no one really cares about but us. That’s part of the fun, too.

Alexandre: Writing and directing requires so many different types of skillsets. You need to be the introverted person sitting in your bathrobe, hunched over a typewriter for months on end in a Los Angeles hotel, and you also need to be the extrovert on the can-read carpet getting your photo taken, wheeling and dealing. Whilst we can have that schizophrenic quality sometimes, it’s much easier if that can be reflected in your creative partnership, obviously the writers, the directors, the producers, all bringing complementary things to the table, but always having the same idea of what film we’re making.

Natalie: I always joke that it’s easier to write together and to work together than it is to parent together. Not because we don’t get along in that either, but just because having a child is just like the ultimate work of art. I’m like, it’s an uncontrollable one with no end. Alex really treated our child for the first three months as a pre-production.

Alexandre: Yes, I’m going to do this, it’s going to be perfect.

Natalie: Then three months in, he’s like, oh my God, this never ends. He’s like, I can’t bring this energy 24-7 forever. It’s all a pleasure, and it’s all part of the magical ride that is living.

John: Alexandra, what’s your wonderful thing?

Alexandre: I did hesitate. For a long time, I thought, maybe my remarkable tablet, which means-

John: Oh, yes, I love those. Talk to me about how you use it.

Alexandre: Actually, that was my not actually wonderful thing, if you allow me. The remarkable tablet is a E-ink display that you can write on that has a very stripped-down interface. I come from the generation of people who wrote in many notebooks with a beautiful fountain pen, and then ended up carrying around seven or eight notebooks and destroying my back. I can use it for writing ideas. For school meetings, whatever it is. It has enough satisfaction. I know Craig has complained about the glassy feel of an iPad. It’s not as beautiful as a fountain pen, but it is still very satisfying.

As someone who will take notes in every meeting, sometimes I won’t even read those notes back, but the act of writing by hand helps the information go into my brain. I’m going to cheat a little bit because actually, this being script notes, I would like to bring to you a game.

John: All right, which is?

Alexandre: I don’t know if you’re familiar with this game. In very long car rides as a child, the only games that I think we had were 20 questions and what am I seeing out the window eyes wide?

John: A hand.

Alexandre: There’s a game that my friend, the novelist Benjamin Hale told me about, which he has deemed stinky pinky, but you may know under a different name. It is a game in which you put together a adjective and a noun, and the answer is something that rhymes. For example, the name of the game is, the explanation. If I was to say to you, smelly finger, you would think about it and say stinky pinky. For example, I can give you a very easy one. Overweight feline.

John: It’s a fat cat.

Alexandre: Exactly. Part of the pleasure is deciphering it, but part of the pleasure is coming up with them. For example, one of my favorites, which is a very hard one, I’ll give it to you, but with no expectation that you’ll get it, is dashing pirate.

John: All right a-

Alexandre: This is the hardest one I’ve ever come up with. It’s debonair corsair.

John: Debonair corsair. Very nice.

Alexandre: The clue, this involves French. False enemy.

John: Faux foe.

Alexandre: Yes. Isn’t this a fun game?

John: Yes, it’s a fun game.

Alexandre: The great thing is it’s great for car rides. It’s great for airports if you’re into puzzles. You can play with your children and set easier ones. You can come up with devilishly difficult ones.

John: It’s also very Craig, so he will enjoy it.

Alexandre: I think he might enjoy it. Stinky pinky.

John: That is our show for this week. Script Notes is produced by Drew Marquardt, edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask at johnaugust.com. That’s also the place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. Thank you to John Pope, our DP for this episode. We’re trying this out on video. You’ll find the transcripts at johnaugust.com, along with a sign-up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. The Script Notes book is available wherever you buy books.

You can find clips and other helpful video on our YouTube to search for Script Notes and give us a follow. You’ll find us on Instagram at Script Notes Podcast. We have T-shirts and hoodies and drinkware. You’ll find those at Cotton Bureau. You can find the show notes with links to all the things we talked about today. In the email, you get each week as a premium subscriber. Thank you to all our premium subscribers. You make it possible for us to do this each and every week. Are you guys premium subscribers?

Natalie: We are. Yes. Yes, I think so. All right.

John: You get the bonus segment, so you’re familiar with it. You can sign up to become one at scriptnotes.net. We get all those back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on black and white. Natalie and Alexandra, thank you so much. Congratulations.

Natalie: Thank you so much. This is such a pleasure.

[Bonus Segment]

John: All right. Your film is released in black and white. Talk to me about when the decision was to do this in black and white. Were you black and white on the set? I assume you shoot color and then color time it down to black and white. Talk to us about all the decisions to do black and white.

Natalie: It was a really early decision. Part of it was that we just didn’t have control over the store. We’re shooting between midnight and 6:00 AM. The store had unusually long hours. It would be open at 9:00 AM and close at 9:00 PM. We would rush in the doors. We would have to have an hour-long break at 3:00 AM for lunch. All of which is to say we had very little time. In the morning, everything had to go back to normal. We were always choosing very carefully where are we placing our camera. By turning the film in black and white, we were imposing our own artistic aesthetic onto the store.

Alexandre: We knew that even before we visited the location. We’d been thinking about the Wim Wenders’s film Wings of Desire, which is mostly in black and white with some sections in color. That film has an iconic library, which I’d always been fascinated by. We’d spent a lot of time on Google checking out this library in real life. In color, I think the carpet is orange. You have all the colors of the sleeves of the books. It doesn’t have that-

John: Color’s distracting, yes.

Alexandre: It’s distracting. It doesn’t have that simplicity. We came to realize that black and white is a little bit like an x-ray. It shows you how things really are. Color distracts. That made sense in a society where the film is about observing and being observed. It’s a society in which joy and intimacy has been sucked out of the frame and where smell is actually an important component. Smell is very difficult to communicate in cinema. We thought that perhaps in the same way that when you remove one of the Senses, other sensors become heightened, that perhaps the black and white could-

Natalie: I’m not sure but it’s an idea.

Alexandre: It’s a theoretical idea.

Natalie: It also, someone commented the other day that the film is like boxes upon boxes upon boxes. By reducing the film to black and white, you really see the geometry, the lines of the store accentuated and then reverberated in the coffin, cardboard boxes.

Alexandre: Black and white is very compositional. When we draw storyboards, we draw in black and white. When I think of the end scene of our film, it involves a character of Malaise being viewed as a shadow on a wall. There’s almost a relationship to film noir there. There is something very graphical and compositional about black and white that is very attractive.

Natalie: It also allowed us to distance ourselves a little bit from our own world.

John: The time period of this. I say we’re in Paris, but it’s not our Paris. It’s not what we’re familiar with. It’s not clear exactly what era we’re in. It’s like-

Natalie: I think you said there are cell phones and iPads.

John: There are cell phones. They have technologies, but it’s clearly not the same system. The cash registers don’t work the same because it’s all about slaps. It’s a heightened world. The black and white also helps you with the sense like this is heightened. This is not realism as you’re expecting.

Alexandre: It helps with the tonal questions. Tone was very important and one of the hardest things in the writing and execution of this film. This film doesn’t take place in a world where three weeks ago there was a virus that escaped from a lab and suddenly everybody started slapping each other in the face. It’s not science fiction. It’s not what the world could become.

Tonally, it’s absurd in the sense that it’s meant to be in the sense that our world is already absurd. The things that contributed to that were, for example, the names of the characters. The characters are not named Jack and Sally. They’re called Malaise and Longy.

Natalie: This is also one of the reasons why we felt really strongly that the film should have a narrator because the narrator isn’t there to give away any information. You take out the narrator and you still understand what is happening in this world and who these characters are, but the narrator is there for the tone.

John: Make it the fable of it all.

Natalie: Yes, the fable. Exactly.

John: On set, back to the black and white, were you looking at monitors that were just black and white so you could have a sense of what that was? I feel that would be really confusing if you weren’t looking at that final.

Natalie: Yes, it was also something we were talking about with our costume designer because obviously different shades, different colors, you need that contrast and it’s not immediately obvious which colors will create that contrast.

Alexandre: To get very technical and geeky, maybe too technical and geeky, but this is a film podcast.

John: Let’s do it.

Alexandre: There is an option now to actually shoot native black and white on, say, an ARRI camera by removing the Bayer sensor colors, which gives you, I think, maybe a stop or maybe two stops of extra light and locks in your decision to shoot in black and white. However, it does make the grading a little bit more difficult and it definitely makes VFX and cleanup work more difficult because there’s less information to grab onto.

John: If you had grid screens to replace, for example, you don’t have a grid anymore.

Alexandre: Or even just tracking an object for information is very helpful.

John: You did not do that?

Natalie: No. We did shoot in color but we were always looking at a black and white. Obviously, it’s essential in the black and white dress that is at the core of the story.

Alexandre: Black and white is very much about surfaces, about textures, about reflections, about metallic. It’s about mirrors. We made a decision in the film to always have a mirror in every scene, so the camera’s either shooting into a mirror or a character’s looking at a mirror. That’s something that worked really well in black and white. It’s a very silvery kind of-.

Natalie: Then there are so many black and white films that we love. Not just older black and white films, but contemporary black and white films like the films of Pavel Pavlovsky, Ida, Cold War, and even Frances Ha, or The Lighthouse. Actually, when we made this, we didn’t realize how controversial it is to shoot in black and white. It’s one thing for a short, because obviously, the market is different, and the market barely exists for shorts. In a feature, we imagine that this film will still be in black and white, and it’s definitely something that we’re going to stick to, but it’s a hard sell because there are certain countries that will not distribute a black and white movie.

John: Frankenweenie is one of the last black and white studio films to be released, and it was a real problem. The kids, for the first time, they thought it was cool because they just had never seen black and white before.

Natalie: We like to joke because everyone always asks us, why did you make this film in black and white? We want to ask the opposite question, which is like, why did you choose color? Color is so much harder than black and white. It’s just, I don’t know, there’s something so seductive about a black and white image.

Alexandre: The rules that we’re imposing on film are kind of rules from the 70s and 80s when color film was great and black and white felt nostalgic. Anything that can make a film stand out is a plus.

John: All right. Congratulations again.

Alexandre: Thank you.

Links:

  • Two People Exchanging Saliva
  • Taika Waititi’s Two Cars One Night
  • Andrea Arnold’s Wasp
  • Martin McDonagh’s Six Shooter
  • Damien Chazelle’s Whiplash short film
  • Jim Cummings’ Thunder Road short film
  • David F. Sandberg’s Lights Out short
  • Troy by Mike Donahue
  • The New York Public Library’s Picture Collection
  • ReMarkable tablet
  • Get your copy of the Scriptnotes book!
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Become a Scriptnotes Premium member, or gift a subscription
  • Subscribe to Scriptnotes on YouTube
  • Scriptnotes on Instagram and TikTok
  • John August on Bluesky and Instagram
  • Outro by Nick Moore (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our Director of Photography is Jonathan Pope.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 725: Torn from the pages of Squash Magazine, Transcript

March 5, 2026 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: This is episode 725 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, let’s play connections. What do tampons, millennials, ISIS, and collegiate squash have in common?

Craig: They all seemed obvious until you got to collegiate squash.

John: There’s always one stumper when it does throw in something that just knocks it all off. The answer is they are all topics in this week’s installment of How Would This be a Movie? Boy, howdy, do we have a range this week? We also have follow-up and listener questions. In our bonus segment for premium members, let’s talk about shiny plastic discs. I have shelves full of CDs and DVDs that I will never use again, but I’m not ready to give them up. I suspect I’m not alone. I want to talk through the decisions about our physical media and what we’re going to do with that.

First, we have another installment of This Week John Learned. Craig, this week John learned that skunk spray is yellow, thick, and incredibly sticky. That’s a thing that was different than what I expected. I had this image in my head that skunk spray was clear, and it was thin. First-hand experience, skunk spray is awful. It is a chemical weapon. It is a bear spray that comes from a small little creature.

Craig: Oh, you mean the spray that comes out of a skunk. I kept thinking about this bear spray, like the stuff you bring with you to spray to get rid of bears.

John: Yes. What I learned this week is that they’re much more similar than you would expect. My dog, Lambert, who you love, 10.30 PM on Monday night.

Craig: He got skunked.

John: Let him out in the backyard, and did not see that there was a small creature there that Lambert took out after I realized, oh my God, that’s a skunk. I didn’t know there even were skunks in LA. You don’t see skunks in LA.

Craig: We didn’t lock him out all the time.

John: Yelled at Lambert to stay away. Lambert got hit straight in the face by the skunk. It was awful. My little dog was– he obviously smelled terrible, but he was foaming at the mouth. He was in misery. We were trying to clean it off of him. We’re doing all the things. We’re doing the hydrogen peroxide and the baking soda, all these things. Rinsing his eyes. No damage to him?

Craig: No.

John: This smell is–

Craig: This smell is brutal. Cookie got skunked a few years ago. It’s like 20 baths later, you can almost not smell it anymore. It’s that powerful.

John: Yes. What was so surprising to me is that we got some of it off of him, and I just wrapped him in a towel and carried him upstairs to the bath. Just in carrying him through the house, the house smelled like skunk. He didn’t touch anything, and it still smelled like skunk.

Craig: Famously, you can smell when a skunk gets hit on the road. You can smell it from miles away.

John: It is crazy.

Craig: I believe the chemical you’re smelling is similar to the chemical that’s added to natural gas so that you can smell it if there’s a leak, but in much tinier, tinier– It is fascinating that skunks have, I think, a unique defense system. Why no other animals put that one together, just skunks?

John: Bless them for their ingenuity. Evolution did something really remarkable for them. It is crazy. I would also say that I had this image in my head that obviously I thought it was a thinner substance. What you see in terms of Pepe Le Pew, you see the stink lines. It’s not quite that. It’s more like it reminded me of the feeling after this most recent election, when there was this feeling of constant dread. It’s like a dread that is just around. It’s not like a high note, a sickly, sweet smell. It’s like melting plastic and existential dread.

Craig: To me, it’s like burning hair in hell. I also, weirdly, when I’m driving on the road, and I catch it, I like it.

John: In a distance, I like it.

Craig: Up front, God. Well, poor Lambert.

John: Poor Lambert. He’s recovering.

Craig: He’s going to go through a few baths. One day, it will end.

John: All right. We’ve got some follow-up. First off, with comps, which was one of our last episodes.

Drew Marquardt: Zach wrote, “In Episode 723, Craig said that he’d like to hear from younger listeners what newer comps they hear frequently. A recent title that I think deserves a mention is Get Out, which I hear constantly as shorthand for contained, politically smart genre.”

Craig: That makes total sense.

John: It makes absolute sense.

Craig: I’m angry about it because I hear it in my mind. I’m in the room now. They’re like, “Okay, what we’re looking for is Get Out, but with Tom Cruise action.” The problem with these things is they really just don’t belong together most of the time. The thing about Get Out is it’s not shorthand for contained, politically smart genre. It’s Get Out. It’s a very specific film with a very specific story-

John: I get it.

Craig: -but I completely see how they would use this one as a comp. Yes.

John: Absolutely. The thing about Get Out is that it’s the Blumhouse model of it. It’s basically one location contained thriller, but like most Blumhouse things, you think about as being like they’re bloody, they’re gory. The horror of Get Out is not the centerpiece of it.

Craig: No.

John: Yes. Let’s move on to Kristen wrote in about undeniable.

Drew: “As an executive, all too often, what we get is something that’s half-baked or reads like a million other scripts out there. It doesn’t have clarity or distinctive voice, or it’s a perfectly fine idea, but it’s not a great idea. It’s not insightful in some way. I think that’s what we mean when we say we want something to be undeniable. It’s shorthand for if you want to be noticed, write something noteworthy because most of what I read is forgettable.”

Craig: This makes complete sense. There are a lot of parts that go into these things. Remember that the person who’s reading your script is not going to be the person who buys your script. The person who reads your script is the person who’s going to be selling your script upstairs to someone they work for. The name of the game is, I found this script, and this is great. Everyone goes, it is great, and then they make it, undeniable.

John: Yes. I was a reader at TriStar for a year, and so I read zillions of scripts and wrote coverage on them. Very few scripts where I get a strong recommend or definite recommend because it was a risk. You had to say, “You’re going to read this and say, this is really good.” There’s no second. That’s obviously a really good script, and it’s worth your time to do it. That’s really undeniability.

Craig: Yes, exactly. I think this is really important for people to hear. I’m just going to read it again. Half-baked reads like a million other scripts out there, doesn’t have clarity or distinctive voice, perfectly fine idea, but it’s not a great idea, or it’s not insightful in some way. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s just nice. I’m going to Sondheim my way through this, but in short clips so we can’t get sued.

John: Follow-up from Matt about two different episodes.

Drew: We had talked about the Scott Frank School of Writing and orality recently. Matt says, “I’m teaching playwriting this semester for the second time. I’ve never taken a playwriting class despite working as a professional one for two decades now. When it came time for me to teach the STEM class, I was so anxious I just replicated the same cliche factory of unexamined conventions, and it was terrible and worthless.

Then, last fall, I heard your Scott Frank episode and was just amped. I threw everything out, and at my inner city university with students from under-resourced schools and a wide range of background, we just ran that experiment each day. Despite teaching through the crippling indifference it seems we have to fight in so many of these creative classes today, it’s been a blast. We are writing so much with a loose jazz while still learning really good scales, if that makes sense. I’m learning, they’re learning, and we’re doing it through writing, and they are amped.

This week, we used the Orality tool to test some of our dialogue sprints, and the impact was huge. Some students began to experiment on what wasn’t working and why these people sounded like they weren’t talking. They started to make the connections or grow their taste for making imaginary people sound like real people, and it was just great.”

Craig: Well, there you go.

John: It sounds like Matt’s having a good time, but his students are really lucky to have Matt as their teacher.

Craig: I think Matt’s really lucky that he has us. Because we brought Scott Frank on, and Scott was correct. Cranky Scott Franky loves to tell the truth. What I really appreciate about Matt is he’s a teacher, and we have a set of hard opinions about how, generally speaking, the way we teach what we do for a living in this country is broken. Matt had a choice and decided, yes, I’m going to go for a different method. Listen, anything where kids are suddenly engaged, where it’s not work, but they are pushing forward, that’s how you know it’s going well.

John: He’s also not talking about the theory of playwriting. He’s just like, “We’re just writing a bunch of stuff.”

Craig: Yes. Because here, you can’t teach something like August Wilson. You cannot teach August Wilson how to write a play like August Wilson. That’s the play he’s going to write anyway. You can teach August Wilson, and this would be a very young August Wilson, about how to get to where he already can go. You do that through practice. Practice. Not conventions and studying what was before, and formats and blah. I write, you read, we discuss. That’s how acting classes work. It’s great.

John: I noticed in Matt’s email to us, he wrote playwriting with W-R-I-G-H-T-I-N-G. It is a weird thing where a screenwriter doesn’t have the G-H-T and a playwright does have it. I was just looking up whether playwrighting with the G-H-T is common or less common. Officially, the G-H-T tends to go away. We’re not using that.

Craig: What?

John: Yes.

Craig: No.

John: You would do it how Matt does it.

Craig: Of course. They’re getting rid of the G-H because plays are wrought.

John: Plays are wroght.

Craig: Like iron. They are wrought. We just simply write.

John: Websters says it is more commonly without the G-H-T than with the G-H-T.

Craig: I can see how it would be playwriting without the G-H, but then when you say playwright, you’re going to want that G-H.

John: Yes. It would be weird. There’s not a word playwriter, not a thing, the way that screenwriter is a word.

Craig: I think plays are wrought.

John: Plays are wrought.

Craig: Wrought

John: Last bit of follow-up is about our email issues. Last episode, we were talking through issues that we were having with Craig’s emails not coming through. We had a suspicion that our listeners might know the answer to these questions. It seems like they did. We have three different people writing in with different things to test and try.

Drew: Jacob writes, “I manage a few dozen domains and their email configurations, and if I had to put money on it, I’d guess your domain is missing an SPF record or it’s not set up correctly. SPF is basically a way of telling the recipient server, these email servers are allowed to send email on behalf of my domain. Without it, receiving mail servers tend to get suspicious and may flag messages as spam, newsletters, or block them entirely. I’d strongly recommend adding SPF along with DKIM and DMARC so recipient emails can verify that you are who you say you are.”

Craig: I’ll have to check and see if I have boxes that do that.

John: What did Ian write for us?

Drew: “My wife has her own domain for her business, and sometimes she runs into a similar issue. It used to have to do with her hosting company because she used a shared grid service hosting package because it was not exorbitantly priced. I’m not an IT pro, but it basically means that your stuff is on a server with other people’s domains, and if those people’s domains are spamming people and they get flagged by the whitelisting services, her email could sometimes get caught up in that. Switching hosting companies was ultimately the solution.”

Craig: I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. It’s a very large company.

John: Fortunately, Zach has one last thing we can test.

Craig: Great.

John: Zach passed along a free deliverability tester that he’s used before and has gotten decent results. It’s mailtester.com. He says, the name sounds super generic, and the site looks dumb, but it works.

Craig: All right, should I do it right now?

John: Sure.

Craig: Okay. First, send your email to this. I’m going to copy it, I guess, and I’m going to send it from the address that’s causing a little bit of problems. Now, I assume there’s going to be some sort of response that’s going to give me information. All right. This is exciting or not.

John: Or not.

Craig: Then check your score. Oh, I think it already knows what’s happening.

John: Do you want to share your screen so it can see?

Craig: It’s the picture of a rowboat rowing from a lighthouse to a palm tree with coconuts. It’s very strange. My score is 7.7 out of 10. Good stuff. Your email is almost perfect. You’re not fully authenticated DMARC. Turns out to be the problem. Spam Assassin thinks you can improve. I have a minus 2.3. Now I know what to do. This is great. I think between a couple of those there, we may have gotten the answer. Oh, that’s our listeners.

John: Just the best. Again, we’re going to praise our listeners as we get into our One Cool Things. We have another person writing in about a bonus segment topic. In episode 722 bonus segment, we were talking about what a big year for the box offices is looking to be. Someone wrote in with more information.

Drew: This friend says, “If you’re not familiar with us, we’re part of the theatrical ecosystem, assisting those constituents with insights and audience analytics. At the very end of episode 722, you shared a 2026 outlook for the movie business. If you’re interested, here’s a brief 2025 summary that we shared with our friends in the media.

John: This is from Entelligence, E-N-T-elligence.

Craig: Oh, like from the Ents? The talking tree.

John: Yes. The talking trees.

Craig: This is going to be very good.

John: Well, their roots run deep.

Craig: It took them years to put this together just at the Entmoot.

John: I think it’s intertesting just because it’s a different way of looking at the same kinds of data. It looks like they are talking about attendance in movie theaters, sports, special events, everything like that. Whereas we are just looking at box office, they’re looking at total attendance, which, for 2025, they’re saying 780 million seats attended. 4.7 billion seats, 780 million people. If you look at the big titles, they were the big titles, so Minecraft, Lilo & Stitch, Zootopia, Wicked for Good, Superman. They can also talk to you about which genres ended up having the highest attendance.

Craig: Look at this, the studios, Disney at 26%, Warner Brothers, 20%. It’s getting sold.

John: It’s getting sold. Of course, Warner Brothers has the two top contenders for best picture made by great singular vision filmmakers.

Craig: Yes. Sure hope that they let it be what it is. This is fascinating to look at. Los Angeles is still the largest market, followed by New York. Dallas, of all things.

John: Oh, yes. I know Dallas is big.

Craig: How about this one? Political, blue, red. This shocks me. 56% of movie attendance are by people who consider themselves blue, or is it from blue states? 34% from red.

John: My guess is it’s based on market, but I don’t know.

Craig: That’s crazy. Pretty even spread among the ratings. Action, still the king at the box office, 40%. Animation, comedy, 5.5%. Now, I would argue that’s because there aren’t any.

John: Yes, or because a lot of things that are our comedies, we’re labeling as other things because that’s just what we choose to do. Cool. Film format, 3D, is about 6% of the earnings here. I guess we can’t really say box office, but they’re saying 6%. That’s higher than I would have guessed. 70 millimeter or 35 millimeter shown on film, each is less than 1%. Yes.

Craig: I wonder if 3D is all about Avatar.

John: Maybe.

Craig: Right, because he puts that out in 3D, right?

John: Oh, yes. First, you’re meant to see it in 3D.

Craig: Yes. I think that is entirely– Avatar had more foot traffic than any other movie, as they say, 30%.

John: Overall, male-female split, 50.1% male, 49.8% female, which is?

Craig: I love that. I don’t know what the margin of error is, but I would imagine that’s within it.

John: Yes, for sure. There are slightly more women than men in the United States. That’s also part of it.

Craig: Yes, because the men keep dying. Go to an old age home, just look around. Just that one guy. No one talks to him.

John: All right. It was our listeners who wrote in with this great follow-up. Our listeners who are premium members got an email this past week saying, “Hey, we’re going to do a new How Would This Be a Movie, and we would love your suggestions for articles for How Would This Be a Movie.” Drew, talk to us about the response you got when you sent out that email.

Drew: We very quickly got tons of responses. We got 40 in total, and a lot of them were really fantastic.

John: I went through the longer list, and someone’s like, “Wait, that sounds familiar.” Two of the honorable mentions, one of them was Paula Dakin, who was in Witness Protection. We talked about that, episode 525. It’s a really good idea, which we talked about it in episode 525.

Craig: That’s how good it was.

John: Yes. There was another one, which is about a mother who, basically, she and the kids were on a rowboat that got swept out to sea. She ended up sending her 14-year-old son in to swim to the shore for safety, which was a four-kilometer swim. He did it and saved them all.

Craig: A ton of people wrote in with that one.

John: Yes. It was just too stressful for me. I don’t want to even talk about it. I had palpitations just reading the story.

Craig: Also, what is that movie, just watching the kids swim?

John: It’s an incident. It’s a beep in a bigger movie. There wasn’t going to be anything to talk about beyond that. Of the other 40, there were some really great ones. I picked four of them that I think are going to be good topics for us to get into. Let’s start off with how an errand for a 12-year-old immigrant in Minneapolis became an underground operation. It’s written by Jasmine Gossard and Sarah Venture for NPR. It’s sent in by Christopher Boone. Drew, can you give us the description?

Drew: Sure. A 12-year-old girl in Minneapolis who we only know as E, got her first period last month in January 2026. E needed menstrual pads, but because E and her family are undocumented, she’s been in hiding in their home for the last several weeks. E calls her dad for help, but dad’s at work and doesn’t have a car with him, so that he’s not targeted by ICE. Her dad calls their pastor, who then calls a church member named Lizette, but Lizette’s also scared to go out, so she calls the neighbor, Ade, whose daughter Fanny is a US citizen. Though they’re still scared, Ade and Fanny decide to get pads to E, traveling through back alleys to avoid agents and deliver the menstrual supplies to her safely.

Craig: Two things, Minneapolis Tampon Run would have been the best sequel name to Cannonball Run. Back when, the Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise version of this would be outstanding. We first have to just say how horrible it is that this is a freaking thing that we aren’t even talking about at all, that this is happening is insane.

John: Last night, I was walking Lambert, and I started thinking about Minneapolis, and I started to weep. I was like, “Why am I weeping? What is actually going on?” It wasn’t ICE, specifically. It wasn’t the horrible brutality and the killings there. What I think what was actually making me weep was the recognition that a whole community had come together with whistles and phones to document and stop, and the sense of protecting people you don’t even know. I was weeping for a happy reason within all this. This story reminds me of the ways that, in crisis, people come together.

Craig: Yes, it’s still infuriating. I haven’t to be happy about the positives yet. I’m still in fury. This is an interesting idea. I don’t know if it’s a movie, if only because there’s a strange clock on it. There is an argument that there is a movie where an undocumented, and in this case, child, I think is correct because the stakes get even higher when it’s a child, an undocumented child has something that could be a problem medically, and they have to wait and see. It does get worse. They have to figure out how to get her somewhere to adopt, and this is all in America. I could see that. This would be a good episode of something.

John: Yes, I was thinking of The Pitt or some sort of show that is taking place more in real time. Craig, I would say the movie version of it, this is a plot line in, and it’s an Altman-esque Nashville situation where a bunch of stuff is happening. It’s all the same day, but this is one of the threads that’s happening through that. Feels right.

Craig: I think you’re absolutely right. Either it’s episode of something or fit into a story that normally accommodates these kinds of things, or it’s a thread line in a Magnolia-ish or Robert Altman-esque parallel storylines. I could see that. It’s disgusting that this is a problem.

John: Well, the resonance with Anne Frank is obvious here. You have a girl on the verge of womanhood, terrified, alone. She’s going through normal adolescent development in this incredibly extreme environment where she’s hidden, where everything is just turned upside down. That is compelling about this part of the story, but I think it’s a bigger tapestry around it. Right now, we’re following just this young girl and the people who come to help her, but her father is a really interesting character. It’s like the universality of a girl’s first period feels right.

Craig: An important character note, he’s a single dad. He’s a single dad, and I suspect probably either doesn’t speak English or is limited in some way. He’s not going to be able to just casually and charmingly go about getting something and not feeling like he’s targeted by the goon squad. It is a fascinating story, and with a really nice ending. Also notable in the story is that E has no idea what’s going on. There was not a conversation.

John: She has no idea what’s going on in terms of why she’s bleeding.

Craig: Correct.

John: She has a sense of the overall what’s happening outside her door, but not inside her body.

Craig: That she is. Correct. All she knows is she’s bleeding, and she doesn’t even know why, which immediately would be a terrifying thing to experience. There’s been a lack of education there. Not only does someone have to get her menstrual supplies, they also have to explain what it is and how it’s going to go.

John: Yes, which in the actual original story is the next day, a nurse calls her and talks her through all this stuff.

Craig: That’s a rough day. Shameful. Shameful. Just outrageous.

John: I think there’s something to do here. I think it’s part of a larger story, but I can absolutely see why we were sent this article. Let’s completely shift gears and go to something much lighter.

Craig: My god. Interesting.

John: This is a millennial travel group. This is based on an article by Katie Weaver for The New York Times. I recognize Katie Weaver’s byline, so I looked up and she’s done a lot of stuff that I’ve read over the years. I went on a package trip for millennials who travel alone. Help me. This was sent in by Dr. Stephanie Sandberg. Drew, give us a description here.

Drew: Katie Weaver, who’s a millennial woman, books a package vacation to Morocco through Flash Pack, a company whose stated aim is to help people in their 30s and 40s make new friends. Katie is put in a group with 13 women who are all different flavors of Type A. They go on a hyper-scheduled tour around Morocco. There’s sightseeing, cooking lessons, steam baths, goat feeding, ATV riding, glamping. It’s all calibrated to create a group dynamic, which the company takes so seriously that it’ll kick out anyone who throws the dynamic off.

The group bonds together quickly and tightly and are relentless in their stated objective of fun and friendship. One cold, wet, miserable day, the only way to have fun is to drink at a vineyard, so the group gets exceptionally drunk. When Katie eventually returns home, she finds that the demands of her normal life are a breeze compared to the intense responsibilities imposed by the trip.

John: I’m going to say from the start, I think there is a movie here. It doesn’t have to be specifically this article, but the idea of a bunch of Type A women who are strangers going on a trip together, could be to Morocco, could be to anywhere, is a good idea for a movie. You have the diversity of people and types. I think Katie Weaver or a Katie Weaver-type character is a character in this, in the sense that she is both a participant but also the journalist/documenter of these things. She holds herself outside of it and is then forced into it.

Weaver describes this sociological paradox. To have many friends is a desirable condition. To plainly seek to make friends is unseemly and pitiful. Millennials’ broad acceptance of the taboo around extending oneself in friendship, perhaps an aversion to participation inherited from their direct predecessors, Gen X, is particularly irrational, given that millennials report feeling lonely often or always at much higher rates than members of previous generations. Yet Weaver herself says, “I am pathologically that person who will try to make friends with people.”

Craig: I don’t understand. Millennials have a taboo about reaching out, which is insane. Also, weirdly, millennials are lonely. Yes, if that’s your taboo, then yes, you will be lonely. Also, don’t put that on Gen X. We love having friends. We don’t know taboo about making friends. Also, millennials aren’t our kids. They’re boomer kids. I defend my generation. That said, what you have here absolutely is a movie. There’s a bunch of different kinds of movies to make.

John: Yes, there are.

Craig: One version is you’ve got a woman who is Type A who had a group of friends that she has started to leave because she is on a more successful track, because she does feel pitiful, whatever her weird millennial problem is.

John: Or her friends started having kids, and she doesn’t have kids yet, and that’s a factor.

Craig: That’s a thing. She starts to feel like either I’m lonely or I need new friends. I’m going to sign up for this thing because this is a very like, “Hey, I did a test and I got a good score. I win.” She goes on this vacation. Meanwhile, her friends and their kids happen to also go on vacation at the same place, but I’m the one to bitch over or something. She’s having her new friends and this Type A maximum lifestyle.

Over there, the other character who was like her best friend is having a horrible time because her kids are sick and someone’s barfing and they’re crying, blah, blah. Yet they are each getting something valuable. They’re each also looking at parts of this going, “This is horrible.” Maybe it’s better if the friends that we have are the friends we actually made because we’re friends and not because we were in a program to make friends.

John: Intentional friendship is its own special flavor. A couple of different movies this is reminding me of. Bridesmaids, obviously, because it is about female friendship, but I was also thinking about A Real Pain. We had Jesse Eisenberg on in episodes six, seven, and two. That’s all centered around a trip to famous Jewish sites with a bunch of strangers. Well, Holocaust sites, but also the town where his family grew up.

Craig: [unintelligible 00:29:30] Famous Jewish sites. Some of them are infamous.

John: Infamous, famous, yes. A group of strangers and, of course, his cousin as well. Sideways, which is friends traveling. That idea of, okay, the whole movie is about this trip and this traveling, what you’ve learned along the way.

Craig: It’s also The Hangover.

John: The Hangover, yes.

Craig: They get drunk, and they go crazy. There’s somebody in charge of them who you can quickly see becomes the villain. There is a bonding that occurs, possibly through perfect people who have been selected because they’re perfect people behaving extremely imperfectly together, and through that, actually, friendships are created.

John: I was also thinking about David Foster Wallace’s A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, which is about him going on the cruise. What is the conversation between his perception of what his role is there as a documentarian there, and Katie Weavers, who is actively trying to make friends? They’re very different characters in similar situations.

This last year I went on a cruise with my family to Alaska. We started in Anchorage and went down to Vancouver. Because Mike and I are the people who will try to make friends, we went to one of the mixers and met a bunch of the solo travelers. There’s a whole community of people who go on cruises themselves. They will do it all the time. They make friends on the cruises, and then they all plan to go on the same cruise again and again. They love doing that.

Craig: Nightmare cruise people deserve to be loved also.

John: Yes, they do. I think there’s a lot of really good, rich space here. You could use this article as a jumping-off point. I don’t know that you need it because you’re going to probably want to just do your own thing. There aren’t a lot of great specific characters, I felt like, oh, yes, that’s somebody you want to pull through into your movie.

Craig: Yes, it’s the article somebody options so that they can feel like they have a project that they can get writers to come in on. It’s such a producer thing to do. I can see that.

John: I’ve gotten sent articles like this. Someone will do it, and I can imagine this or essentially this idea becoming a movie 100%. It could be a theatrical feature, but it could also be made for a streamer.

Craig: Totally.

John: Love it. It could even be a limited series. You could do the Mike White version of this. One might notice [crosstalk].

Craig: I guess Mike White has done the Mike White lotus of this version in a way, but I feel like this feels like movie to me.

John: Yes, I think it’s a movie too. I think it’s a comedy.

Craig: Yes, I think it’s a comedy for sure.

John: Next step, switching gears even more radically, How the US Hacked ISIS. This is an article by Dana Temple Raston for NPR. It was sent in to us by Brian Notten. Drew, help us out.

Drew: In the spring of 2016, Steve Donald, who’s a captain in the Naval Reserve and a computer whiz, is ordered to put together a team to conduct cyber operations against ISIS. At the time, ISIS is the first terrorist network to use the power of the internet to recruit and launch attacks. After tracking them for months, Neil and his team learned that ISIS has just 10 core accounts they do everything through, from file sharing to financial transactions. He presents this to his higher-ups, and they begin Operation Glowing Symphony.

They use phishing emails to gain access to the administrator accounts one by one. They map the entire network, and then in a coordinated attack, they take over the 10 accounts, lock the administrators out, and take everything down. Then after the initial take down, the task force shifts to ongoing disruption and high-tech psyops to cripple their organizing efforts, frustrate their users, and tank ISIS morale.

John: Craig Mazin, what do you see here? What’s interesting? What’s challenging to you?

Craig: All of it is interesting. None of it is a movie. It is so hard to make drama out of somebody going, “Okay, click, yep, all right, I deleted that. Click, yep, I blocked him out of his account. Click, yep.” I could see this as a scene in a movie or like a moment where we’re screwed, we don’t know what to do, and someone’s like, “I know who to call.” These tough soldiers end up in a room with a bunch of nerds who are like, “Oh, this is what we do.”

The problem with this kind of thing is it is impossible to portray on film the effort and ingenuity required. You can’t sit there and go through hours of people going, “How do we break through their firewall and da, da, and the SSI, and you [unintelligible 00:34:09].” One day they do, and they type things on a keyboard, and it happens. It is profoundly uncinematic, which is why when we do show hacking in movies, it tends to be ridiculous and overblown because we’re trying to make it cinematic, and so we have things on screen going rah, rah, rah. I think it’s a great moment, scene, possibility. I would not know how to make this a movie.

John: Yes. I’m a little bit more optimistic that there’s a movie to be made here. I’m thinking about what have I seen of hacking that truly is cinematic, and I think Mr. Robot is the best version of it I’ve seen. You have a very compelling character, and what he’s doing, when he’s click, click, click, typing, typing, typing. We quickly see what’s happening, what the actual effect is. That’s why I think this can’t just be from one side where we’re just seeing what we’re doing. I think you have to see ISIS’s side and what they’re actually able to achieve and who these people are so that when we’re doing things, we know who those people are as stuff gets frustratingly worse for them on the other side of this.

Craig: That scene is also really funny because they do it, and on the other side, someone’s like, “Oh my God, what’s going on with my password? John, my password doesn’t work.” “Restart.”

John: You need to see the same people who’ve done a bombing and who’ve done serious things and killing people, and then they can’t log into Instagram.

Craig: Yes, someone took my Insta.

John: The other thing that’s reminded me of a bit was The Imitation Game. In that movie, Alan Turing has to figure out how to crack the Nazi codes. That movie was successful in physicalizing a lot of stuff that is otherwise an intellectual process. There’s moments in just the story as written, which is like, he’s going in on the whiteboard, and he’s actually drawing all the things. Literally, he evokes the image of Charlie in, as always done in Philadelphia, with the red strings and all. Sure, that’s one little snapshot, but you have to then figure out who are the people that you need to do, to what degree is this a heist mentality?

That could be exciting, which is like, this is the plan, but these are the things that go wrong. Because they are physically separated, because there’s the whole internet in between them, the stakes don’t feel quite real enough. I recently saw A House of Dynamite, which Kathryn Bigelow directed so brilliantly. That is a bunch of people typing into things, but it ends up being quite cinematic. There may be ways to take some of that grammar into this.

Craig: A House of Dynamite, that’s a good example of a Altman-ish view of what happens over the course of one hour of real time, but divided among three different stories where there are quite a few different things, one of them is the President of the United States. The Imitation Game obviously had the great character of Alan Turing to explore, and the difficulties in his life and how that impacted him.

The other thing about The Imitation Game is that what they were trying to break, the Enigma machine. To do it, they had to build this big physical thing that was awesome to look at, and it’s accurate with these dials that go, [unintelligible 00:37:29], so cool. The stakes, of course, were World War II, and no offense to ISIS, but they haven’t World War II’d the world. They haven’t yet hit Hitler status. There’s stakes, but if there were a great character in the heart of this, if someone like Steve Donald, the captain of the Naval Reserve, was also a fascinating person with a challenging life story, then maybe you could see how this could be a thing.

John: You can’t believe it’s him, but it could only be him. That’s an aspect that we don’t know if that’s true or not. That’s why you need to do a lot more research beyond just what we see in this story. That’s three of our stories. Our fourth is completely different on another axis. Drew, help us out on this fourth one, which is based around The Best College Squash Team in History, James Zug, writing for Squash Magazine. There’s a Squash Magazine. Of course. It was sent in by Dan Zaitchus.

Drew: In 1977, the student editors of the Whitman College newspaper start writing stories about how the university squash team is having this incredible undefeated season, except the school doesn’t have a squash team. This is a joke, and the editors try to make it as obvious as possible with ridiculous scores and matches against world champions, but no one at the school figured out it was fake or bothered to fact-check them.

They continue to write about this championship squash team and are eventually invited to a real squash championship in Calgary, Alberta, which the school administration gives them money to go to. They lose their matches quickly, and they party for the rest of the trip. When they come back, they report factually about their trip and thank the administration for the money and encourage them to support the drag racing team.

John: In 1977, I loved the period setting of this story. There was a bunch of college kids pulling a prank that went on too far. Then, of course, they get recruited into doing the thing. It’s such a comedy premise and then a comedy consequence to have to go do the thing. A lot of stuff you’re going to want to bend and change. Craig, do you think there’s a space here that’s interesting for a comedy?

Craig: No, only because the problem is, you put your finger on it, actually, you have a group of people that, as a joke, make a fake squash team. As it turns out, one of the guys actually played squash, I think, but most of them did not. Then, the joke is somebody believes you and puts you in a tournament. You have to go. Now, it’s like a dodgeball, underdog situation, but anyone can play dodgeball. That’s why dodgeball worked.

Squash is a sport, and you’re just going to lose fast, and you’re obviously fake, and that’s not fun to watch. Not fun to watch it. If you go, and you’re awesome, and you end up losing, that’s interesting. If you go, and you stink, but you prevail, that’s interesting. If you go, and you’re just fake, what happens? Is flatlining lose, and then you go home? I don’t know. Also, as pranks go, this is the most milquetoast, sort of mealy-mouthed prank. You know what we’re going to do? We’re going to make a fake squash team. I know it was supposed to be like all those scamps, but mostly I was like, I need to see it.

John: I think what you’re hitting on is that it’s like a prank just for the sake of the prank doesn’t feel like enough of a driving engine. There has to be something they’re actually going for. Some of this reminds me of former Scriptnotes producer Stuart Friedel. One of the characteristics I love so much about Stuart is he will have a goal, or he’ll see an opportunity, and he will engineer things to achieve that opportunity.

For example, Stuart wanted to sing the national anthem at a major league sporting event. He engineered the way for him to get to sing the national anthem at, I think, a minor league baseball game, and he did it. He figured out this is an opportunity to do it. With Stuart Friedel-type character who is driving this for a specific goal, which is not just an inner ambition, but something he wants to achieve, you can imagine that being enough to get us to why we’re creating the fake squash team, to win the girl, to do the thing, to get the scholarship, to do something.

Craig: I could see where it’s a little adjusted, where you have a squash team that is pretty bad. They want to be good, and you get all the different reasons why. My dad was a squash player. He wants me to be a squash, whatever it is. They’re okay, but mostly, they’re in the cellar in their very tiny Division III college league. Somebody, as a joke, because they’re so bad, somebody, as a joke, just starts flipping the scores when they print them.

They get invited to a tournament because of it, and they’re like, “We’re going. We have to try. We can be better.” Every year, you play up to your competition. Then they have a chance to be a Cinderella story. Then, of course, right before they’re about to go into the championship match, somebody discovers that the records were flipped, and they’re disqualified, and everyone’s like, “Let them play, let them play.” Bad News Bears. I could see that.

John: I think we’re talking about what are the interesting edges of the sports comedy genre. We reference dodgeball, which is, of course, a parody of the sports comedy. Challengers is also a parody of what a sports comedy is. Happy Gilmore, another great example of a movie that is a comedy that is existing because of what our expectations are of sports comedies. Bad News Bears you referenced. I think there’s something smart you could do there, but this is just a very tiny little seed of an idea. You’d have to really have characters who are interesting and have a good way to introduce the audience to, what does 1977 feel like?

You and I were little then, and we have some image of what that’s like. In that pre-internet era, I can see them getting away with this because anything that was in print was true. Of all these– they’re all execution-dependent, but this one is especially execution-dependent. This either works great or it’s nothing. Once again, our listeners totally stepped up. Thank you to our premium subscribers who got this email and sent us in these great suggestions for stories. I really loved talking through all of them.

Craig: Same.

John: Let’s answer a listener question. Heidi has a question about querying reps.

Drew: A few years ago, I wrote a feature script based on a quirky and obscure historical event. I rewrote the script as a picture book manuscript and sold it to a major publisher. The book’s coming out this year. I’ve since revised the original script and now have a few more scripts under my belt. I think I might finally be ready to seek representation. My question is, should I send the picture book and the press kit with my script when I query managers? The illustrator the publisher chose is fabulous and the illustrations are quite cinematic. I’m wondering if it will serve as a sort of early pitch deck or I’ll just seem hokey.

John: I think, Heidi, yes, you have something that people can see, which is nice. Mostly, you want them to be reading your scripted material to get a sense of, “Oh, this is who they’re going to try to sell you as as a person.” The book is the thing they’re going to send out to get people interested. Yes, you should send them the book.

Craig: Of course, send them the book. If for no other reason, then it makes you legitimate. You wrote a book and a major publisher bought it and published it. Now you’re somebody that is different than the just, “Hi, I’m a 23-year-old from Kansas and I wrote a movie that’s mostly based on my life.” You go flap, into the other pile. This is different. It’ll at least get attention. Yes, I think you have to. Be crazy not to.

John: Fred sent in some rage bait. Here we go.

Drew: Should writers repeat the plot three or four times assuming that most viewers are watching while on their phones?

Craig: Oh, my God.

John: I can see the color changing in Craig’s face.

Craig: Oh, my God. I have heard about this.

John: Mostly in reference to Netflix, honestly.

Craig: Correct, Netflix. Nobody at HBO has ever brought that up. Apparently nobody at FX has ever brought that up. I think Justin probably would have complained to me by now. This is not a thing. This is just the computer spitting out too much data and their pattern recognition. It’s just pattern. This is faulty. This is faulty. People know when they’re not paying attention that they’re not paying attention. It’s not like people don’t pay attention to something, then turn back to it and go, “What’s going on? This movie makes no sense.”

They’re aware. They go back and watch the part they missed. This is silly. I hate it. I will never do it. No one should ever do it. It’s gross. Why don’t we also repeat the ending twice? Why don’t we do that? Why don’t we just repeat entire scenes? Let’s do that.

John: Let’s make soap operas.

Craig: Let’s make soap operas that also repeat within the episode of the soap opera. Everyone should always say their name when they talk to each other. John, as you know.

John: Craig, I absolutely know what you’re saying.

Craig: Right, John? Let’s rephrase it. Shall we, John?

John: This is maddening and it’s not real. It’s not true. Also, we’re saying Netflix here, but Netflix’s biggest hit, Adolescence, that was not recapping what was happening moment by moment. You actually had to watch the screen and pay attention. People don’t mind paying attention to things.

Craig: I don’t think it was developed by Netflix either.

John: Here’s where I think the reality is coming here. If you’re doing a competition show, if you’re doing a baking show, they are trained to repeat things again and again, going into a challenge, coming out of a challenge. They’re just constantly filling up with that kind of stuff, but not in a scripted dramatic stuff. Don’t do it.

Craig: No, don’t ruin your story. Don’t.

John: Just don’t do it. It is time for our One Cool Things. Mine is a paper by Cornell University and Anthropic looking at disempowerment in the age of AI. By disempowerment, it’s where people seed control or seed decision-making on certain axes. What I liked about it, and there’s a little table chart, which I thought was the most useful part of the article, is a summary and classification of ways that people disempower themselves. They talk about reality distortion, which is on a spectrum from none to severe. If you’re going to an AI, it’s like you’re going to just look something up in a book and you’re just trying to get information and context and understanding, that that’s not disempowerment.

With increasing sycophancy, the AI is telling you, “Oh, yes, you’re absolutely right,” even if you’re absolutely wrong. If it’s reinforcing negative beliefs, that can be very, very bad. There’s a person in my life who has fallen down that rabbit hole and clearly is believing things that are not true because the AI is just telling them that they’re right when they’re clearly wrong. That is troubling, and that’s a thing we need to be aware of.

They also talk about outsourcing decision-making, which is basically like when my dog got sprayed by a skunk, I was looking up online to see, what should I do? That’s an answer that I can find. There’s an expert out there. If I’m exporting more fundamental life decisions to this kind of thing, that is disempowering and it’s taking away your own agency to do a thing. I think it’s like, oh, I’m making a choice to ask something and to ask for advice, but honestly, you’re giving up the insight and the self-determination of what is best for you.

I thought this chart was really helpful. The paper is good at looking at what the issues are without providing good solutions to these issues, but we have to think about the guardrails that are beyond just like, let’s not let AI take over all of our systems, but let’s also not let it take over our internal determination of what we want to do, what we believe in, what is objective reality.

Craig: Those were some really good observations, John. I think we’re really onto something. [laughs]

John: Absolutely.

Craig: I hate that. Oh my God, do I hate that. If anyone talked to me like that in real life, I would be like, “What is wrong with you? Stop your toxic positivity.” I hear the feedback. I’m happy to make that adjustment. Oh, [unintelligible 00:50:20]. I do have one cool thing.

John: Please.

Craig: You’re familiar with song Day in the Life by the Beatles from Sgt. Pepper’s. There is a young man, he’s British. It’s like a 20-minute video where he goes through how that song was first written. It was initially written by John, because the song has two distinct parts to it. Then there was this hole where John said, “Paul, you put something in there.” Then they began to record it. While they were recording it, Paul then came up with his little bit. They literally were like, “There’s going to be 24 bars in this song where Paul’s thing is going to go.” They record the whole thing. This is the part that blew my mind. Then Paul has to go in and do his bit. Back in the day, if he goes too long, he’s going to overwrite.

John: [unintelligible 00:51:25] on tape.

Craig: There was this very tense moment where he had to, “And I went into a dream, la, la, la, la, la, la.” That part’s recorded. Went into a dream had to fit right there. If it was a little too long, it was going to mess it up. It was going to erase it. Not overlap, erase. There was all these crazy things. Then getting the final note and how they got that final note was fascinating. How they were able to get an orchestra to play the way they did because they wanted an orchestra to just play crazy. Classical musicians do not know how to play crazy. That’s not a thing they do.

It’s just really well done. It’s a fascinating history of how that song came together, literally down to the fact that– I read the news today. He blew his brains out in his car. Then 4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire. Those were two articles in one day in a newspaper that John read. He was like, “I’ll take that one, and I’ll take that one.” It’s pretty remarkable. There’s also some really good footage of them doing it all together. It’s just a great analysis of a song that deserves analysis because it’s very complex.

John: I love any sort of explainer video that really dives deep into how an artistic work was created because we just have this assumption like, “This thing is wonderful and perfect.” Until you know the actual genesis of how it got to be there, it just looks like, “Oh, well, this person was clearly just a super genius.” Then you see like, “Oh, there were actually many steps along the way, and there was collaboration, and there were decisions that were made and reversed and other things.” Song Exploder is a great podcast and video series that also talks through a lot of other songs.

Craig: It’s just fun to watch people solving problems that today are not at all problems. That final note, they’ve got six different pianos, and they’re all hitting versions of [makes sound]. The problem they had was getting everybody to hit [makes sound] exactly at the same time. If it was a little off, they wouldn’t take it. I think it took them nine tries. Now, you hit one record, hit one, just beep, beep, beep, and you would never have that problem of, “Fit your lyric in here or you erase.” It’s wild that that’s the way it worked, and it’s awesome.

John: I think it’s also worth noting, there’s really frustrating things about YouTube and the short-form video and how it’s destroyed our attention. Short-form video like this is also just an amazing opportunity to see how things are put together. The fact that somebody made this video, that wouldn’t have been possible in a normal TV documentary way. It’s like you can have very specific channels and focus on very specific interests, and that’s incredible.

Craig: Yes. It is a great feeling going into something that is documentary and knowing I’m going to get the thing I want, and then I can go away and do something else.

John: As you were able to know right from the start, how long is this video? Do I have time to watch this now?

Craig: Yes.

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Gloom Canyon. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That’s also a place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. You’ll find transcripts at johnaugust.com, along with a sign-up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. The Scriptnotes book is available wherever you buy books. Thank you for continuing to buy the Scriptnotes book.

You’ll find clips and other helpful video on our YouTube. Just search for Scriptnotes and give us a follow. You’ll find us on Instagram, also at Scriptnotes Podcast. We have T-shirts and hoodies and drinkwear. You’ll find us at Cotton Bureau. You can find show notes with links to all the things we talked about today in the email you get each week as a premium subscriber. Thank you to our premium subscribers-

Craig: Thank you.

John: -both for what you sent and solutions to email problems and great articles to discuss. You make it possible for us to do this each and every week. You can become a premium member at scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on CDs and DVDs and what the hell we’re going to do with all these plastic discs in our homes. Craig, Drew, thank you for a fun show.

Craig: Thank you.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Craig, how many CDs or DVDs do you own?

Craig: CDs nuts. It has to be said. You can’t say CDs without saying CDs nuts.

John: 100%. I walked right into that. It’s not a problem.

Craig: It has to happen. Everyone at home listening to this should just add the nuts to tapes or CDs. [chuckles] It’s a classic. I personally am out of that business.

John: What did you do? At a certain point, you did have a bunch of CDs and you had a bunch of DVDs too.

Craig: So many. I had so many. I had, well, it goes further, video games, which were on DVDs.

John: Yes, psychical video.

Craig: Physical video games, physical DVDs, physical CDs. I held onto them for quite some time. At some point, you began to feel like you just had a victrola. I do still have a Blu-ray player. It sits in the room with the other, but it doesn’t get touched.

John: Do you have any Blu-rays to play in it?

Craig: It’s there in case. It really was about screeners, but now screeners are all accessed online. That’s gone. Thank God, because as you know, if you’re a member of multiple guilds and academies, there would be like 100 DVDs getting mailed to you every award season. It was a nightmare. Now that’s gone. They’re gone.

John: Craig, when did you get rid of them? As you were moving from your house in La Cañada Flintridge to Hancock Park, was that the big purge or what happened before then?

Craig: I had all my CDs in this big, heavy box. I think Melissa might have had them pack it up. Maybe it’s in her closet somewhere. It’s the sort of thing I could see her keeping. I have no emotional attachment to the objects. I just like the songs. I know for my daughter, CDs is not a thing. Vinyl is a thing. They enjoy the idea of vinyl. They get vinyl just to put on their wall as art. CDs are nothing. To them, songs are Spotify and Apple Music. That’s what songs are.

John: Hey, Drew, how about you? How many shiny discs do you have in your possession?

Drew: I have a few. I have a lot of Blu-rays. I probably have 50.

Craig: Wow.

Drew: I feel like, especially because I’m early career, the benefit of those is you get to learn from commentary, from the little featurettes with the DP on how they decided the color palette or something like that. That has a lot of value that you really can’t get anywhere on streaming or something like that. It does feel like a bunch of crap that I have to lug around. It used to be like a feature of a bookshelf or something to show my taste. Now I keep that in a box if I need them or if I want to–

Craig: Always hide your taste.

John: Drew, what was the last Blu-ray or disc of any kind that you bought?

Drew: I got the Pee-wee’s Big Adventure Criterion for Christmas.

John: Great.

Drew: That was the last one I got.

John: Have you watched it yet?

Drew: I have not watched it yet.

Craig: Have you ever seen it?

Drew: Oh, yes. It’s my favorite movie of all time.

Craig: Oh, thank God. It was that.

Drew: The last one I bought was Real Life by-

Craig: Albert Brooks?

Drew: Albert Brooks. Albert Brooks’ Real Life.

Craig: Oh, that’s a good one.

John: There’s that fantasy of the criterion closet, which is just like, it’s all these movies, like, “Oh my God, I have all these choices of things to watch, and there’s something nice about seeing the spines of those movies.” It’s like, “This is my curated experience of what I want to do.” In my case, all of our DVDs and CDs are in these drawers in our bookcase so we can pull it out and it’s all alphabetized. It’s easy to see all the things. It’s been years since we’ve taken any of those discs out and put them into a player.

One of our goals for this year is to just deal with them and get rid of the ones that we’re just never going to listen to again. The issue is, what would I actually do with these discs? There’s still Amoeba Records, so I, in theory, could sell them to Amoeba for no money. Who would want these discs, these movies?

Craig: No one.

John: It’s just not a thing. Because I listen to music just through Apple Music, I think my strategy is I’m going to look through the albums, see if there’s something I’m just forgetting that I actually love, and I’ll check to make sure that this is actually available on Apple Music. I might just add it to my library so I know that I will see it more often. I think I get rid of those CDs because it’s not helpful for me.

Craig: It’s that moment in Men in Black where Tommy Lee Jones shows the tiny new version of how they’re going to put music out, and he goes, “I have to buy the White album again.” There are so many albums I’ve bought. It’s a little bit like our D&D thing. I buy the Player Handbook, I have a physical one, I buy it on D&D Beyond, I buy it again on Roll20. So many albums that I love, I’ve bought five different times.

John: Which is fine, which is fair.

Craig: It’s fine.

John: It’s more money to the creators of those things. I will be sad to have them go, but they’re not doing me any good. It’s easier, honestly, with physical books because I can still rationalize, is the best place for this book on my bookshelf or somebody else’s bookshelf? If it’s somebody else’s bookshelf, I give it away and a library sells it and it’s good. I just don’t know that our CDs and our DVDs, if that’s even meaningful anymore because nobody wants this plastic thing anymore.

Craig: Nobody wants it. Because it doesn’t deliver an experience that’s any different than the experience they’re getting without it.

John: Right now, some of our listeners are typing a few of those emails about like, I can’t believe you would do this because you don’t realize that anything that you say like, “Oh, it’s always available on streaming, there’s no guarantee it will be.” They are correct. It is a chance that I’m taking by getting rid of some of my physical things.

Craig: Yes. I don’t believe– As long as one CD of something exists, they can quickly make 14 million of them if that’s what it came down to. I don’t think that’s where this is going.

John: Craig and Drew, thank you so much.

Craig: Thanks, guys.

Drew: Thanks.

Links:

  • How an errand for a 12-year-old immigrant in Minneapolis became an underground operation by Jasmine Garsd and Sarah Ventre for NPR
  • I Went on a Package Trip for Millennials Who Travel Alone. Help Me. by Caity Weaver for The New York Times
  • How the US hacked ISIS by Dina Temple-Raston for NPR
  • Whitman College: The Best College Squash Team in History by James Zug for Squash Magazine
  • Shipping Out by David Foster Wallace
  • Email deliverability tester
  • Disempowerment patterns in real-world AI usage by Cornell University and Anthropic
  • The world’s greatest song that simply shouldn’t exist
  • Get your copy of the Scriptnotes book!
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Become a Scriptnotes Premium member, or gift a subscription
  • Subscribe to Scriptnotes on YouTube
  • Scriptnotes on Instagram and TikTok
  • John August on Bluesky and Instagram
  • Outro by Gloom Canyon (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 718: No Worries if Not, Transcript

January 21, 2026 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: Okay. My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to Episode 718 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, you may have heard us discuss industry euphemisms, but really, no worries if not. At the end of the day, we’re bumping this just in case you got buried. Whether you’re coming up for air after the holidays or just getting your ducks in a row, we want to be respectful of everyone’s time as we discuss stock phrases that are endemic to Hollywood. We’ll also run down the numbers on Scriptnotes, both the podcast and the book. We’ll answer listener questions, including what’s the deal with video podcasts?

Craig: What is the deal?

John: In our bonus segment for premium members, how do you deal with a difficult collaborator? We’ll talk about that. We have no experience. In theory, what would it be like to deal with a difficult collaborator, Craig? In theory, in theory.

Craig: No, it’s entirely theoretical.

John: It’s all entirely theoretical. This episode, we’re recording on December 14th, but it’s coming out enough later that there was news, but the news is going to be so outdated by the time we actually air this episode. Disney made a deal with OpenAI to license characters and give OpenAI $1 billion.

Craig: Yes, notice that.

John: Notice that. Paramount is now doing a hostile bid for Warner Bros. We don’t know how this is all going to sort out.

Craig: That won’t have changed by the time this episode comes out. That’s going to take a while, yes.

John: It’s going to take a while. Everything’s going to take a while.

Craig: Everything will take some time.

John: Yes, I’m not delighted by any of this news, frankly.

Craig: No. In general, we don’t want fewer entities that pay for our work, but it’s happening.

John: It’s happening. On the whole, I’m not excited by companies that distribute our product, making deals with AI companies to train models on our stuff. Don’t love that.

Craig: I really don’t like that. It’s interesting. I was reading about this. Disney, I think, probably is looking and saying, “Hey, people are going to be using this to take Iron Man and do stuff. We want to just get paid for it. What we’ll do is we’ll just let you have Iron Man.” It’s a little bit like the music industry saying to Spotify, “Okay, we’ll let you have it if you just give us $0.04 a track.” That feels like what’s going on here.

Now, one thing that I thought was amusing was Disney said, and OpenAI said, that there will be, of course, restrictions on the kinds of things you can do with their characters. No, there won’t. No, there won’t. People are going to get around that, and there’s going to be some pretty messed up Rule 34-type stuff out there. That’s just inevitable.

John: Inevitably, like the non-licensed versions, that stuff that’s not on Sora, there’s going to be wild stuff that’s happening there, too. I can understand if Disney wants to have some sort of walled garden where they can theoretically control a little bit of it all, but I just don’t think it’s great for the business at all. I think it’s too early in this process for people to start making these giant deals on their licensed characters. It’s the fact that OpenAI and these companies already stole a bunch of this stuff and adjusted it, and we’re spitting stuff out.

It’s complicated, and we won’t get into it today. Instead, we’ll do some actual follow-up on something we have a definitive answer on, which was way back in Episode 620, we talked about this producer named Carl Rinsch.

Craig: Oh, my God, Carl Rinsch. I remember this guy.

John: Yes. Basically, he was a filmmaker who had done other movies beforehand, and basically was making a movie for Netflix, and basically kept asking for more money and more money and more money. Sorry, it was a series, not a movie. We talked about this guy who was just like, they were now suing him for all this money they’d taken from Netflix without actually delivering a movie. Now, there was a verdict. Drew, talk us through what we learned.

Craig: Yes. I assume the verdict is true.

Drew Marquardt: He’s guilty-

Craig: Of course, he’s guilty. Of course.

Drew: -for scamming Netflix out of over $11 million over this series, and he faces up to 90 years behind bars.

Craig: Oh, my God. [laughs]

John: He won’t serve 90 years.

[laughter]

John: That’s crazy.

Craig: I don’t know how old this guy is, but he’s probably, what, 40 or something? 45?

Drew: Probably somewhere in there.

Craig: I just like the idea of this dude being that 90-year-old in prison, and people are like, “This guy’s been here forever. Why?”

John: He must have done something absolutely horrendous. He took a bunch of money from Netflix.

Craig: Yes, he just didn’t– he did not do–

John: He didn’t deliver.

Craig: He didn’t deliver on a series. [chuckles] What do we think he’s going to serve? Two years? One?

John: Yes, it’s tough. Trump can’t commute this because it is a civil suit.

Craig: Well, is this something that was on his radar? [laughs]

John: No, but things are often not on his radar. He’s often trying to pardon people he has no ability to pardon, so we’ll see. It’ll be much less than that. He did a bad thing. You should pay money if you did a bad thing.

Craig: The last time somebody with a name like Carl Rinsch was sentenced to 90 years, it was at the Nuremberg trials.

[laughter]

Craig: This guy’s got the most German name. Carl Rinsch.

John: Carl Rinsch.

Craig: Yes, Carl Rinsch. You shouldn’t have done that, Carl. I don’t know what to say. It’s not like Netflix is going to miss that money or anything, but you can’t do that.

John: You can’t do that. No, it’s bad. I guess the interesting angle on this story is every producer, every filmmaker is selling smoke for a long time. It’s that delusional ability to say, “Oh, no, this is really going to happen.” You respect that. That’s the chutzpah. That’s the ability to hustle and get things made. You cross a line at some point. Where is that line is an interesting thing to explore.

Craig: I think the general magic trick is to get somebody to give you money. All the tricks are there. Once the money comes, then if you are a producer, you have to then mush everybody together to get the next thing, to get the script, to get the green light. If you do nothing, which is not normal, [chuckles] then you go to prison, apparently, or give the money back. I don’t know.

John: Famously, the producers is about that. That’s the funny comedy version of this is this was not a comedy, apparently. You can imagine the comedy version of this.

Craig: Even the producers put a show on.

John: They did. They put on a show.

Craig: They just wanted it to be a failure. This guy didn’t even do that. He apparently–

John: He represented himself, which is always–

Craig: Oh, no.

John: That’s also the comedy.

Craig: Our good friend, Ken White, who is a former federal prosecutor, now a defense attorney, shows up on all sorts of podcasts and things.

John: He came on our show to talk through legal stuff.

Craig: Exactly. There are a couple of things that just make his eyes roll in the back of his head in anger. One of them is people representing themselves. His feeling is like 90% of the lawyers you get can barely represent you. [laughs] You need a good lawyer.

John: A doctor shouldn’t perform surgery on himself either.

Craig: No, no.

John: You hear stories of the doctor who was isolated in Antarctica that had to do surgery to himself. That’s why it’s so rare because there’s talented people around you who should do that.

Craig: This guy isn’t even a doctor. This is a patient doing surgery on himself. [chuckles] It’s just idiotic. Don’t do that. No pro se, please.

John: No. We have two bits of feedback and follow-up on the Scriptnotes book, including a mistake that we made that none of our many readers caught that made it through into the book. What did Anthony say?

Drew: Anthony said, “Loving the book, such a wonderful distillation of your show. This is such a silly quibble. I almost didn’t send it, but as a lifelong Trekkie, I couldn’t let it go. On page 32, in the section at the bottom titled, Does This Story Travel or Stay Put, you illustrate your point with several iconic sets around which several popular shows are anchored. For Star Trek, however, you call it the ‘deck’ when it should more accurately read the ‘bridge’ of the Starship Enterprise in Star Trek.”

Craig: Oh, yes. The Enterprise does have decks, but that space is the bridge.

John: It’s the bridge, absolutely.

Craig: Well, I don’t know about you, John, but I think it’s time to end it all. That is so embarrassing that we need to just–

John: We need to call back every issue-

Craig: Or die.

John: -or every volume that has been sold of the Scriptnotes book, and just bring it back.

Craig: Hey, second edition, right?

John: There will be a second edition at some point. We can probably fix that in the second edition. What I’ll say is that if you have the book in front of you, flip to page 32. Please carefully cross out the word “deck,” write in “bridge,” and then at least you fixed your one personal copy.

Craig: Anthony, I appreciate this. You’re absolutely right. The good news is people who love Star Trek are notoriously flexible. These things–

John: Yes, absolutely.

Craig: Anthony is the nicest person in the world, by the way, because I feel like 90% of people would have just thrown the book across the room in anger. Thank you, Anthony, and we’re sorry.

John: It has sharp corners. It’s not that heavy, but it has sharp corners. You could have hurt somebody.

Craig: Oh, absolutely.

John: Another bit of follow-up from Charles.

Drew: “I heard Craig speculate that the new Scriptnotes book is maybe the only book that exists about how to write screenplays for movies or TV that is written by two people or a person who’s repeatedly done that job for decades. While he’s correct that most are by people who have never repeatedly held the job, there is a book on screenwriting written by not one, but two people who have repeatedly done the job for decades. Might I bring your attention to Writing Movies for Fun and Profit: How We Made a Billion Dollars at the Box Office and You Can, Too! by Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant.”

Craig: Absolutely right. Lennon and Garant are great.

John: Yes, they’re really lovely people.

Craig: That’s true. I forgot. I forgot. It’s a great book, though. That’s a really funny book, too. It’s different.

John: It’s a very different book.

Craig: It’s a very different book, but it’s very funny. Everything that–

John: It’s much more memoir-y than ours is.

Craig: Yes, but those guys are hysterical. Love those guys. That’s awesome.

John: Cool. All right. Let’s move on to our marquee topic. This was suggested by none other than Megana Rao.

Craig: Then it’s going to be good.

John: Our beloved producer from the past. The framing for this is sometimes in Hollywood, in this industry, you say a thing that covers over for what you actually want. It’s a euphemism or it’s a stock phrase that everyone knows the meaning of, but it gets away from saying the actual harder thing that you don’t want to say. Megana’s first suggestion for this was, “No worries if not,” which is a thing you say in an email which gives the other person out because it’s the end, so you don’t come across as too demanding.

Craig: It’s not passive-aggressive. It’s just–

John: It’s just submissive. It’s like a dog rolling over on your back.

Craig: It’s weasel-wording because “yes worries if not,” really. Yes worries. Why would I have asked you? “Yes worries if not,” it’s actually a very useful phrase if you’re asking somebody that works for you to not come off as too pushy about something. They understand if you’re asking for it and you do it. “No worries if not” is a nice way of just saying, “But I’m nice.” [chuckles]

John: I probably used versions of this for something with Drew saying, “This would be my preference, but if the other thing happened, that’s also okay.”

Craig: That is much clearer than this. This is, yes, “No worries if not” is, “I worry.” I immediately start worrying if someone tells me to not worry.

John: “No worries at all,” I think, is an Australian phrase that came over to California. The “no worries if not” probably is a morphed version of that, which is a specialized version. Drew, I proposed this to you on Thursday or Friday, and then you came up with a whole list of– I think you crowdsourced from your friends, a whole list of these industry terms.

Craig: Fantastic.

John: Drew, if you could read us the term, and then we’ll have a little discussion about what it actually really means and what the use of it is.

Drew: We’re playing phone tag.

John: Yes. Sometimes you’re just actually calling what it is. Basically, we keep going back and forth, but also there’s sometimes a little bit of a password. I feel like, I think you’re dodging me or there’s a reason why we’re not connecting here. Because we’re playing phone tag, I’m now just going to tell you in an email what it is I actually want.

Craig: I only use we’re playing phone tag so that the other person knows that I called them back because sometimes I just wonder, okay, I get a call from somebody, I miss it. I call them back, they miss it. They call me the next day, I miss it. Now, I’m like, “Did they know, or is this a second call because somebody didn’t tell them?”

John: Sometimes you forget like, “Did I initiate this? Did they initiate this? Did you already have your answer?”

Craig: I just want them to know I was trying. That’s all. I tried.

John: Next up.

Drew: “Bumping this.” These first ones are for emails, so “bumping this.”

Craig: “Bumping this.”

John: I had to do a “bumping this” this week when I’ve not gotten a response back on a thing, and I do need a response, and so, like, “Hey, bumping this because I need to know this thing.”

Craig: Bump has become this multi-purpose word. It wasn’t around when I started, but then somewhere along the line, this “bumped me” became a thing in notes, like meaning I was reading, and then, suddenly, I was jarred and did not like something or did not understand something. It bumped me. Then “bumping this” also became– I think it might come from programming or something, like bumping something.

John: Like push and pop. It’s like if we’re at the top of the stack.

Craig: Exactly. You’re bumping the stack. This then became like, “I’m bumping this,” and I will get bumping this– I receive bumps constantly like just, “Remember the thing?” It’s actually a nice way of saying, “You never answered my question.”

John: Which is related to the next euphemism here.

Drew: “In case this got buried.”

[laughter]

John: There’s a little more passive-aggressive about that. It’s like, “Here’s the thing you didn’t see.” Actually, though, just today, Craig and I, you had an exchange. You’d send a long email with stuff for the next D&D campaign. Had I actually read the email fully and carefully, I wouldn’t have made the mistake that I made.

Craig: You know what? It got buried. [laughs] No, but that’s why “in case this got buried” is definitely passive-aggressive. That is just saying, “Oh, I’m sure you have so many emails, but–”

John: What’s fascinating about it is it’s passive-aggressive, but it’s also giving them an out.

Craig: That’s the passive part.

John: That is the passive part, yes.

Craig: Yes, but it’s aggressive.

John: Yes.

Drew: “Got caught in my outbox.”

Craig: Oh, please. I’ve never heard that one. If I ever do, I’ll be like, “Oh, please.”

John: This has happened to me once or twice in real life where it’s like, I see a draft that I actually just never sent. I did reply to them, and I realized like, “Oh, no, it actually never went through because it’s just how stuff got threaded.”

Craig: I would believe, I guess, if somebody phrased it as, “I literally never hit send.” It’s been the emails behind a window, another thing. I would get that “caught in my outbox” sounds a little fishy.

Drew: “Coming up for air” after Sundance, holidays, whatever.

Craig: Yes, “coming up for air.” I use that one constantly. Constantly. “I’ll be coming up for air.” When did that start? I don’t even know.

John: I don’t know. I’m sure we could do a Google Ngram search for when stuff actually started appearing in texts. It’s related to a concept of submarining for me, which is submarining where you just immerse yourself so completely in a project, in a relationship, or whatever. It’s just like you just disappeared off the face of the earth. You do come back up for like, “Oh, wow, the rest of the world is still out there. I haven’t dealt with all these things.”

Craig: Yes, there are these times where you are plunged into some process. Sometimes it’s production, but sometimes you’re doing promotion stuff or you’re writing a draft. You have to just focus on that thing, but you tell somebody, “At this time, I’ll be coming up for air, and then we can sit down. It’s just not a great time now because I’m stuck doing all this stuff.” That’s a perfectly fine euphemism. It’s not even a euphemism.

John: It’s a stock phrase. It’s a thingy.

Craig: Yes, it’s a stock phrase, yes.

John: I remember, I think back when I was in Stark. I was interning for somebody, and another friend was interning someplace. We’re talking about this filmmaker who said, “Oh, I won’t be able to do any of that stuff because I’ll be doing award season promotion stuff.” I’m like, “Really? You really think you’re going to be busy doing that?”

Craig: It’s presumptuous.

John: It’s presumptuous, yes. That filmmaker was actually correct, and I just had no sense of, like, “Oh, you’re going to lose multiple weeks just doing that promotional stuff.”

Craig: It’s insane. It’s a job. It’s a job. Oh, boy. I can’t say that I enjoy the job, but I’m not supposed to. The actors, I think, are better at it. Also, just more people want to talk to them because they’re actors, and it’s fun, and they have more practice with it. It does blow my mind how busy it is. I am often reminded by the women that I work with that it is busier for them because these events, like hair and makeup, which I always– There’s a lovely woman named Sue, who does my makeup for these things. That means just take the massive shine off his bald head and try and help his eye bags a little. It’s hours in makeup, hours in hair sometimes for the women–

John: For these women, not for you.

Craig: Correct.

John: You’re not spending hours to make that up.

Craig: No, and I have no hair.

John: Exactly. Makes life easy.

Craig: Yes, so they’re waking up early, and then there’s four hours of this stuff. Then they go to do the event, then they got to take it all off. It is a job. It’s nuts.

Drew: “Just needed to get ducks in a row on our side.”

John: “Here’s why you have not heard back from us. We know we need to respond to this thing, but we have not responded to this thing. We’re acknowledging that it’s taken a while.” Likely, in my experience, it’s just like there’s a higher-level person. There’s a boss who hadn’t read it. The lower people knew what their opinion was, but they couldn’t actually say that until the higher-level person did this. I just turned in a project last week, which I know I will not hear anything back from until after New Year’s, which is great and normal, but it’s all waiting on the big boss to read it.

Craig: I will typically hear people say, “Just give us a few weeks to get our ducks in a row.” “Our ducks in a row” means get the sign-offs from the people that need to sign off. I don’t know why “ducks in a row” is the euphemism we use, but it’s better than saying, “Just give me a few weeks. I’m not powerful enough to say yes.”

Drew: This next one’s a very assistant one. When you’re sending avails out, you say, “Let me know if any of these don’t work, and I’ll see what I can open up.”

John: I love that embedded in there, Drew used the word “avails,” which is, I think, a specific LA term as well, which is availability. It’s like when are there openings in a person’s schedule. Craig’s avails are very limited. Drew is always checking with Craig’s assistant for when he’s available to do things. I get busier at times, too, and so my availabilities are limited.

Specifically, the phrase that you’re putting out here, “Let me know if any of these avails don’t work. I’ll see what I can open up.” What are you really covering for when you say that?

Drew: It’s basically, “My boss has more free time than I’m telling you that they do, but I’m just giving you limited windows to make us seem busy.”

Craig: Yes, there are these three moments that work for next week or literally any other moment, yes.

John: Sometimes you open with misleading specificity, like, “How about 3:30 on Wednesday?” It turns out, really, the whole day is free.

Craig: This also may be code for, “My boss is busy. These are the times he is available, but your boss is more powerful than my boss, and he will move stuff for you.” It’s a nice way of indicating, “Okay.” I like this whole quiet assistant code. It’s interesting.

Drew: Along those lines, “Something came up that won’t be able to move.”

Craig: Oh, yes. No, that’s a a court case, probably.

[laughter]

John: Also, it’s vague enough. It’s like, “Oh, my God, is it the person having surgery?”

Craig: I went to the personal immediately. I’m like, “Okay, this is not work stuff.” That’s the end of that. Won’t be able to move. Okay, that’s not happening there. Oh, this next one.

Drew: “We’re waiting to hear what the team thought.”

Craig: I’ll tell you what the team thought. The team thought, “No.”

John: Drew has written down here, “Slow motion pass,” and that’s what it is. It’s just like, “We’re passing, but,” duh-duh-duh.

Craig: “We’re waiting to hear what the team thought.” Either you have no idea because you’re so low on the totem pole, and that means that they don’t care what you think, or you’re pretty high up on the totem pole and you just want to blame your team for passing. Either way, it’s not good.

Drew: “Let’s keep in touch in the context of a pass.”

Craig: Oh, no.

John: It’s no.

Craig: We can still be friends.

John: Yes, absolutely. We don’t hate you. It’s just that it’s not for us.

Drew: “It’s not quite right for us at the moment.”

Craig: I love the “quite.” “It’s not quite right for us at the moment.”

John: We all know what it means. Again, it’s a kind pass.

Craig: That means no.

John: Yes. Rarely are you going to hear a harsh pass where they hated it. They’re never going to say that. Your reps are never going to tell you that. Sometimes the real answer is like, “No, absolutely not.”

Craig: They didn’t like it. They didn’t like it. They didn’t like it. The end.

Drew: Or, “They didn’t spark to it.”

John: Yes.

Craig: Yes, they didn’t spark to it. Just the spark. Ding.

John: Here’s one that I added. “We’re looking for noisy projects.” Have you heard “noisy” is a good term?

Craig: I have heard noisy, yes.

John: Craig, tell me about what noisy means to you.

Craig: Noisy means something that gets people buzzing either in town or in the trades or people in social media like, “Zzzz.” KPop Demon Hunters was incredibly noisy. There are also things that get announced as development projects that are noisy. Then often what happens is years go by and the noise never turns into anything. They like stuff that gets people chattering.

John: Yes. The chatter doesn’t have to be entirely positive. It can get people upset, and that can also create some noise. Just anything that feels a little provocative or not safe and down the middle of the road is good. We’re recording this before Wuthering Heights has come out. My anticipation is it’s a noisy title. Whether people like it or hate it, it will get attention because of just the noise around it, which can be really nice.

Craig: Yes, yes, yes.

John: Drew, help us out.

Drew: “We’re not the right place for it.”

[laughter]

John: What I like about this is, “Basically, that’s actually a pretty good idea, but we just can’t do it.” I think it’s sometimes a nice thing to say, which is not really accurate. Sometimes it’s actually true. It’s just like, yes, that’s a movie that someone else could make, but it’s not for us.

Craig: Really, that’s like saying to somebody that asks you out, “I’m not the right person for you,” meaning, “I’m not right.” They don’t like it. There are so many ways of saying, “I don’t like it.”

John: Yes, but if you’re pitching an A24 movie to Imagine, that’s the–

Craig: Okay, but you won’t even get through the door, right?

John: This is real talk here. When I will go out with a project, like there was a Mattel project that I was attached to, and so we would make our list of, like, “Here are the places that seem like a good fit.” A lot of other places would want it because they wanted to be in businesses with me, which is lovely and flattering. If I end up pitching these places, it’s like, “You really aren’t going to do this movie.” It was just wasting people’s time. That’s why I wish we’re not the right place for it. It was more obvious at the start.

Craig: If somebody is like, “Look, I know you’re pitching something that is a Mattel thing. We don’t make things like that, but we want to hear the pitch anyway.” They really can’t then say after, “We like it. It’s just we’re not the right place for it.” No shit. We all said that, but it’s more like when they are the right place for it. [chuckles]

John: I think a 2026 goal for me, which maybe based on other stuff that I’m working on, but it’s just to be a little bit more brutal about like, “No, I’m not even going to do that meeting on that Zoom because there’s no point to it.”

Craig: There’s no point.

John: There’s no point.

Craig: There’s no point. Then this next one.

Drew: “They liked it. They just didn’t connect with it.”

Craig: Yes, they didn’t like it at all. [laughs]

John: They didn’t like it, no.

Craig: “I like it. It’s just that I don’t like it.”

John: I also hear like, “I wanted to like it, but I didn’t.”

Craig: They always want to like it.

Drew: “It didn’t fully land for us.”

Craig: Right. If a plane doesn’t fully land, that means it crashes in a fireball. [laughs] It didn’t fully land.

Drew: “We’re looking for something camera-ready.”

Craig: Oh, please. No, you’re not. Nobody knows what that is. Get out of here.

John: You know what camera-ready is? It’s a script that’s already written. It’s not a pitch.

Craig: You’re looking for something camera-ready. It’s a script, a budget, a schedule, a cast, a crew. I mean, please. “We’re looking for something camera-ready.” Yes. Oh, God. Dumb.

Drew: “Well-told.”

Craig: Oh, well-told.

John: Well-told. Oh, my God. I’ve gotten a couple of well-tolds. I just want to just turn off the Zoom-

Craig: -and commit seppuku. Well-told is what they say after you pitch them something. They don’t want it, and they were bored. They say, “Well-told.” You did a good job putting all those sentences in the air with your mouth full. “We don’t like them, but well-told.”

John: To me, that is like you just saw your friend’s play and it was awful. It’s like, “You were up there on stage. Wow. It was great to see you up there on that stage. Well-told.”

Craig: Well-told. Oh, yes, like, “You did it. You did it. Yes, well-told.” Oh, this next one is– I don’t know. This next one is– yes, it’s bad.

John: It’s bad. It’s ambiguous. It’s not always bad, but let’s–

Craig: It’s mostly bad.

Drew: “Let’s revisit after the holidays.”

Craig: Yes. Which holiday? Christmas 2000-and-never? That’s just like if you want something, and here’s what happens. All this stuff gets put in context once you do something that people want. Suddenly, there’s nothing that could be faster. They were like, “Well, there are three people that want this. They want it now. They want it two minutes ago. They don’t want to wait until tomorrow. Here’s an offer. It’s on the table right now, and if you turn it down, it’s gone forever.” It’s never, “We really want this. Let’s just not do anything about it for a while.”

John: The situation where it’s not a pass, where it’s like if you’re talking with your reps about a project to take out or stuff like that, like, “Let’s revisit after the holidays,” yes, that makes sense. Going out after director, that’s a thing that’s an absolutely valid thing because you don’t want to approach people generally this week in December. It’s just like everyone’s busy with other stuff.

Craig: Yes, and just fair.

John: Yes.

Drew: “I’ll defer to the team.”

Craig: What does that mean? What does that mean?

John: What does it mean, Drew?

Drew: You have a disagreement about a thing, but you don’t care enough to fight about it. You’ll let other people make the decisions.

Craig: Oh, “I’ll defer to the team.”

John: Yes, but the fact that you’re actually saying it out loud means that you are stating that you have a disagreement with it. It’s sometimes a useful piece of information, but yes. I haven’t heard it yet. Now, my ears will be open for it.

Craig: Yes, for team deferral.

Drew: “I want to be respectful of everyone’s time.”

Craig: [laughs] That means–

John: I’ve said this on Zooms, too, where it’s like, “This is going on a little long. We need to be done here.”

Craig: Yes, “I want to be respectful of my time.”

John: Yes, and often you’re saying that because there’s people who are on the East Coast or in London, and it’s 2:00 in the morning. It’s like, “Let’s just be done.”

Craig: Or not, or everyone’s in Los Angeles, and this is boring, and it’s too much. The phone version, well, yes, because that feels like a Zoom thing. The phone version that blew my mind the first time I heard it was, “Well, I’m going to let you go.” Well, I’m going to let you go. “I know you have been dying to get up this phone call. I’m going to let you get off the phone. Really, you weren’t dying to get up this phone call. I am. I’m hitting eject.” It blew my mind. I was like, “Oh, thank you for this lovely gift.”

John: My friend Erin Gibson will make fun of me because I have this thing where we’ll go to lunch. At a certain point, “Okay. Well, this was great.” She’s like, “Wow, you just stopped the lunch.” It was like, I’m done. I’m just trying to acknowledge the fact that this lunch is over, and we don’t need to keep dragging it out for another 15 minutes to think about it. This was great, and I’m stopping it.

Craig: I think the problem, if I may, is the tense. “This was great,” as in I unilaterally decided it ended before I said that statement. You get no participation in it. [chuckles]

John: Craig, correct me. How would you end the lunch?

Craig: I would say “has been” instead of “was.” “This has been lovely.”

John: Realistically, I was doing it. The constant presence of–

Craig: Sometimes I like to go, “Okay, I’ve had the best time. What are you doing next? What are you doing next today? Tell me what you’re doing next,” and then you–

John: Thinking for the future.

Craig: Obviously, talking about what’s coming right after this lunch gets everybody generally motivated to GTFO. What you do is nothing compared to what our friend Derek does.

John: Tell me.

Craig: Let’s say Melissa and I are out to dinner with Derek and Christy. It’s never the wrong point. It’s a point where he would just go, “Okay, I’m done. We’re going. Let’s go. Christy, we’re going.”

[laughter]

Craig: We’ve been at their house where like a bunch of people, like 10 people, and then Derek will go, “Okay, it’s over.” [chuckles] Christy is always like, “Derek. Derek.” He goes, “What? They’ve been here forever. It’s over.”

[laughter]

Craig: It’s actually awesome because we all know that he just is going to pull the plug, and that’s that.

John: I respect that. A little candor, a little honesty there.

Drew: I prefer the clean break.

Craig: Yes, it’s the opposite of the Irish goodbye.

John: Yes, exactly.

Craig: Oh, I have the best Irish goodbye. You know my ghost strategy?

John: Tell me.

Craig: I love to ghost. That’s my favorite thing. I’m at a party. In my mind, I’m like, “It’s time. It’s time for the ghosting.” I’ll start moving towards the door. I’m hoping that, at some point, and usually do, somebody’s like, “Are you leaving?” Then I go, “No, I don’t. I’m not Irish goodbying. I’m heading to the restroom, but I’ll be right back,” then I go.

John: They’re worried about you. “Craig, he said he wasn’t leaving, so something’s wrong.”

Craig: I say I am not doing it, so then if they don’t see me, they’re like, “Well, no, he didn’t leave. He said specifically he wasn’t going to do that. He’s somewhere.”

Drew: Diabolical.

Craig: Yes, but I’m gone. You know where I am? In my bed.
[laughter]

John: No, Craig actually does. He says that, and then he goes to the bathroom. He locks the door on the bathroom and then closes it. It seems like he’s locked in the bathroom. Everyone’s like, “What’s happened?” Meanwhile, there’s a line forming.

Craig: Yes. No, I lock the door, climb out the window. There’s not enough bathroom windows to climb out of. That is the air duct of– yes, there’s not supportive vents, and there are not bathroom windows to climb out of. What a shame.

John: It’s tough. Let’s get back to our passes here.

Craig: All right.

Drew: “A project’s too small.”

Craig: That’s crazy, but sure. I get it on some point.

John: I get it, yes.

Craig: Then you probably wouldn’t be pitching to a place where the project would be too small.

Drew: The next few seem to be from spec pilots or something, so like, “Not enough of a hook.”

Craig: Okay. Just the idea’s not grabby. All right.

John: Not catchy.

Drew: “Needs more of an engine.”

John: It’s boring. The story doesn’t go anyplace. It’s just like you’re stuck in one gear.

Craig: You’re not going to be able to write 20 episodes of this. You’re going to write two and then run out of stuff.

John: Yes.

Drew: “Too slice of life.”

Craig: What the hell does that mean?

John: I think it’s not story-driven in the sense of like there’s not a compelling thing that’s moving you along. It’s a hangout.

Craig: This is fascinating to me. That implies that there have been a lot of people writing stuff that has been two slice of life-y. I’m curious why. Is it a generational thing, where a certain cohort enjoys a slice-of-life story?

John: I wonder.

Craig: I don’t recall this being a thing.

John: I’ve never seen that as a note.

Craig: Yes, exactly.

Drew: I have a feeling probably a lot of stuff that’s geared towards younger people tends to be 20-somethings hanging out. Maybe that’s a nice way to say nothing’s happening.

Craig: I think maybe they should look at a little movie called Go, where things happened. You could argue that After Hours is a slice-of-life movie, but it’s tense. Stuff happens. It’s not just like doopity-doop. There were, but I will say there were some slice of life-y. Reality Bites was slice of life-y back in the day. The attraction of the movie was, “Look, it seems legitimate for people your age, right?”

John: Fast Times at Ridgemont High, yes.

Craig: Fast Times was actually quite slice of life-y. That’s true. That’s true.

John: Listen, comedy is on television like Friends.

Craig: Well, sitcoms are slice of life.

John: Everybody Loves Raymond, slice of life.

Craig: Yes, because it’s just the situation happens that week. That’s all. It’s the same. There have been slice-of-life movies that are good. I guess maybe the problem is it’s a pretty narrow target to hit. You’re Cameron Crowe. Yes, I could see you hitting that.

John: Indies tend to go more towards the slice of life, where it’s just a little small.

Craig: Sometimes, that can drift into self-indulgent or boring. That’s a nice way of saying this was bad.

John: You have one thing here as studio speak.

Drew: Yes. Aline’s assistant gave me this one because they tend to go out with very female-centered projects, and they will get the note back that the studios are looking for more “male-entry points,” which means–

John: I love this as a term. Incredible.

Craig: I need to talk to my wife about the male-entry points. This is the worst–

John: I just talked about Heated Rivalry, which was full of male-entry points.

[laughter]

Craig: That’s right. By the way, ever since you talked about Heated Rivalry, it’s one of those things where you buy a car, and then you see that car.

John: Oh, yes.

Craig: It’s been everywhere.

John: Everywhere.

Craig: Suddenly, on all the conglomeration sites I go to with news, it’s like– and then there’s this specific thing of why women are obsessed. Straight women are obsessed with this show. I started reading about it, but you were the first to mention those male-entry points.

John: Thank you. I’m flattered. I snuck in there because it was about to blow up as a meme.

Craig: Well, listen, gay culture is always right there in front of everything. Male-entry points on that show, yes, apparently, very important, but they’re important for all men.

[laughter]

Craig: It’s not just gay men, straight men. We’re all looking for entry points. This is the most horrible phrase possible for what it actually is intended to mean, which is, Drew?

Drew: That we want more male characters so that men will watch.

Craig: Just say that male-entry points, you’re taking something that’s already a little bit, “Eh,” and making it so much more, “Ugh.” Just say, “Yes.”

John: More dudes.

Craig: “We want our stuff to appeal to both genders equally. This feels a little lopsided.” That’s fine. That’s a perfectly fine thing to say because audiences have demographics. Male-entry points? Oh, yes.

John: It also feels like Netflix thinking about, “What are we going to put on the tile on Netflix as you’re scrolling through it?” As a gay man, my tiles on Netflix look entirely different than your tiles just because if there’s one hot guy in the show, if it’s the 19th character, that’s who will show up on my tile.

Craig: [laughs] I have to look and see. Do you want to see what shows up on mine? Because I don’t watch Netflix that often, so I’m going to it right now.

John: We can share screens and see. I rarely see Netflix on my computer, so let’s see if it actually holds up right.

Craig: Okay. Let’s see. All right. This is fascinating. Actually, I have cool tiles. I’ll share the screen here.

John: Excited?

Craig: Yes, so this is actually like a–

John: That feels pretty normal, yes.

Craig: It’s very normcore.

John: Listen, Schitt’s Creek has Annie as the lead character rather than–

Craig: Oh, so they do stuff like that even though–

John: Oh, yes.

Craig: Oh, interesting. Interesting. Okay.

John: Any situation where you’re not seeing maybe the main star but a supporting person is interesting.

Craig: Right, because they’re like, “You’ll like this pretty lady.” Oh, that’s interesting. This is not a bad collection. Well, they’ve got Man vs. Baby with Rowan Atkinson. I guess I would probably like that. [chuckles] They probably would like these things. Maybe I should watch more of these things. All right, so that was mine. Let’s take a look at yours.

John: All right. Let me share my screen here.

Craig: Your collection of hot guys. Oh, this is not that different from–

John: It’s not that different. We have the same tile for The Diplomat.

Craig: For Man on the Inside and Nobody Wants This and Wednesday. You have the baking show. Oh, but your Frankenstein tile is different. Your Frankenstein tile, I think there’s some hot guys in the extras here. [chuckles] Mine just had the monster. [chuckles] You have Rowan Atkinson also, but you have KPop Demon Hunters. I got to say, it’s not–

John: It’s not radically different.

Craig: It’s very, very similar. It’s very similar.

John: Nothing that’s showing up here, but there have definitely been times where it’s like, “Well, that’s absurd that they’re showing me that as the tile for this movie that person is barely in.” Now, there’s nothing that I’ve been scrolling through here that says like, “Oh, well, this is clearly just hot men.” What have we learned in our analysis of our discussion of stock phrases in Hollywood? Why do we have them? What good do they serve?

Craig: Well, they are illuminating about our business because I think in other businesses, people are far more curt and direct because we have a lot of personalities and because it is a little bit of a, “I don’t want to date you now, but if you get hot next year, I might want to date you then.” Everybody is shining everybody on. Nobody wants to say, “No, no, no.” They just want to be careful.

John: Yes, we’re a freelance business. You’re constantly looking for your next job, looking for the next thing. You’re constantly dating, and so you don’t want to preclude any opportunities. You’re trying to maintain relationships while also getting stuff done.

Craig: There’s a guy who is a partner at a prominent production company that will not be named. There was something that I had pitched them many years ago. Oh, no, sorry, I hadn’t pitched them. It was a script I’d written that I didn’t even know they got. This guy loved it, but wasn’t the right for us, but loved it. Years later, there was something I was doing that he wanted. He was like, “Remember, I loved that script.” I was like, “The one that you didn’t give me any money for?” That’s the thing. It’s like everyone’s always hedging their bets.

Nobody wants to be mean to anybody. That person could be your boss tomorrow. That’s how Hollywood works. Everyone’s careful, which can be frustrating at times because sometimes you just want the truth.

John: It’s not the extreme cliche of a Japanese culture, which they will never tell you no. It’s not that at all. You do have to learn what the things really mean. There’s an idiomatic quality to it. If you are coming into this from a foreign language or you’re neurodivergent, you may have a bit of a learning curve figuring out what’s actually really happening here. You may need to ask some people like, “Wait, what does that really mean?” Because you could make wrong assumptions.

Craig: Yes, absolutely. That’s a great point about neurodivergence because Hollywood has a lot of not neurodivergent people. Particularly in the area of producers and executives, those people often have outstanding social skills. They are really sharp and instinctive. They are slippery.

John: Yes. They’re also sometimes really good at managing up. You see, how does that person have their job? Because they seem actually terrible at everything I see them do. They’re really good at managing their bosses and understanding what their bosses want to hear and they can deliver that.

Craig: There is, I’ve always said, one of the great unheralded skills in Hollywood is the skill of not being fired. There are people that I think, literally, their only skill is they know how to not get fired. They’re still there. It is a thing. If you aren’t somebody that’s particularly well-attuned to subtleties and all those things, then, yes, you can be very quickly confused by or outclassed by these people in these meetings.

I’m thinking of one screenwriter we both know in particular who’s incredible, amazing, a legend, and so on the spectrum. I have seen him in meetings. I’m cringing. I’m like, “Oh, my God.” I just want to go over there and help because he does not have meeting skills at all.

John: That’s the case where you’re going to need to find reps and other trusted people who can actually help you interpret and really understand what’s going on, versus me at my point in my career, when I get on a phone call with my reps or even just emails with my reps, I can be very honest about, like, “That felt like a pass. That’s this.” I’m ahead of even where they’re at because I just know how things fit together. I know that this project feels great right now, and it’s going to get really bumpy in about a month when this thing happens. I know we’re not hearing back from this because of these other things, and that just comes with time and experience.

Craig: You will get better at it over time, no question.

John: All right, let’s talk about some numbers. I was listening to a podcast called Search Engine, which, Craig, you don’t listen to podcasts, but Search Engine is a really fun podcast that explores different topics. A fun thing they do for their premium subscribers is they do an annual meeting, kind of like how you have a shareholder’s annual meeting. They talk through this stuff. They have a Zoom, and they have a Q&A, but they make a presentation about how the year went, how things are going. Maybe in a future year, we’ll do that.

I thought on the episode today, we might talk through some of the numbers behind Scriptnotes, both the podcast and the book because I’m a big believer in transparency, letting people see how stuff actually works. Craig, we just passed 15 million downloads all time for Scriptnotes, which is absurd.

Craig: Wow, that’s crazy.

John: That’s crazy. 15 years?

Craig: It took us a long time, [chuckles] but still, that’s insane. 15 million downloads, wow.

John: 1.6 million downloads in 2025. We average 25,000 to 30,000 listeners per episode. Of those, between 2,000 and 3,000 are premium members who are paying money.

Craig: That’s information that I didn’t know. I don’t think that’s a lot compared to these big podcasts and everything. It’s just a lot in an absolute sense.

John: I remember many, many years ago, we were trying to understand our numbers. It was like, we’re Bon Jovi of podcasts. We’re filling a stadium. That’s kind of true, but it’s also–

Craig: It’s a small arena.

John: It’s a small arena.

Craig: Yes, it’s an arena, but you know what? Madison Square Garden, right? I think you got 30,000 people, you can fill MSG. It’s pretty good. It’s important to remember that there are a lot of people listening to it. That’s good. It reminds me to say fewer stupid things.

John: Our most-listened episode of the year was 673, Structure and How to Enjoy a Movie, which was just a crap episode, which is great.

Craig: I like that stuff.

John: Our all-time highest episode is the one with Christopher Nolan.

Craig: Of course.

John: Which was only about double the typical numbers of– It wasn’t like a giant spike outside of everything else. We have 4,500 premium subscribers. Those are the people who are paying us.

Craig: That’s great. Thank you to all of those people. That’s awesome.

John: Which is great. January is always our biggest month for premium subscribers, so thank you again for people who do it.

Craig: Oh, because it’s a Christmas gift?

John: It’s a Christmas gift to themselves or other people who bought it for them, which is awesome. Craig, you’ll remember that I think, last year, we were harping on people like, “Don’t do monthly. Do annually because it saves you so much money.” We bumped up the monthly to nudge people to do the annuals, and they did, which is great.

Craig: Great.

John: Everyone knows we zero out the budget every year. We’re not a nonprofit technically, but we’re just a corporation that deliberately does not want to make any money. We’re an LLC.

Craig: We’re a for-profit company that hates profit.

John: That’s what it is. At some point, we could probably do a B-corporation where we’re not–

Craig: We could convert to a 501(c)(3) kind of thing, right?

John: Yes. We talked about that with the lawyer people, and it’s like the amount of paperwork involved to do that is just–

Craig: We don’t receive a lot of tax-deductible stuff. It’s more that we just give it away when we hit the end of the year.

John: Before we started recording, we talked about how we’re giving away money that’s left over at the end of the year. We’re going to be supporting Pay Up Hollywood and their annual survey, and also Entertainment Community Fund, which we’ve often supported over the years. They help out with basically everyone in the entertainment industry, not just Hollywood, but also Broadway and other artists, musicians who need help. This last year, of course, we had the fires, and they were involved in helping people recover from the fires.

Craig: That’s great.

John: Everyone throughout. I’ve actually toured their buildings here in Hollywood. They have low-income housing for artists, and it’s a great organization.

Craig: Yes, this makes me feel good. I do want people to know because when we say 4,500 premium subscribers, they are paying us. Of course, just so people understand, we use that money to pay for our staff and to make the show. When there is money left over, and there is, we donate it to good causes.

John: Yes, which is nice. We also had a book this year. Our book, we hit the USA Today best-sellers chart, which is certainly not a given.

Craig: Okay, but I do love how we hit it, though. It’s perfect. It is not the top 10.

John: No. USA Today lists the top 150 titles each week.

Craig: 150. We came in at?

John: 149.

Craig: Boom.

John: 149, baby.

Craig: Suck it, 150.

John: The USA Today list is basically all books. Kids books, and because it was December, a ton of Christmas books are on that thing. We came in above the most recent Harry Potter Christmas book. Excited about that. We came in below the D&D Player’s Handbook, which felt so wonderful and so appropriate and correct.

Craig: Never want to overdo that.

John: One of the other big titles of the week that we came out was Olivia Nuzzi, the journalist, had a book about American Canto, which was the RFK Jr. stuff. We beat her.

Craig: Oh, really?

John: Yes. She sold 1,200 copies, and we sold 3,129 copies our opening week. We crushed that book. It was a good reminder that just because something is in the news, it doesn’t mean it’s actually selling any books.

Craig: Listen, this book business is tough. I always felt this about the book that we’ve done here is the kind of thing that just will hopefully be an evergreen and it just, over time, people– Not because we want to make money, because we don’t. It’s because I think it’s helpful. I think the book will help people. I do.

John: I think it will. Of the 3,129, the vast majority are the hardcovers, 2,400 of those, 300 e-books, 350 audio books. These are just the North American numbers. It’ll be a long time before we hear the UK numbers and the other places that we’ve sold. It’s a great start. You were on the email chain with the publishers. They’re happy with the start of this. It’s not like the runaway greatest hit bestseller of all time.

Craig: It was not going to be. [chuckles]

John: It’s a super strong launch for this book. We’re on a track to earn back our advance at some point. Around 13,000 copies sold. We’ll have earned back the money that they already paid us. Drew, we have some books that they’ve sent us that are currently under your desk. I want to make a pitch for what to do with those books because, obviously, we want people to buy books for themselves, which is great. There’s also probably a lot of school libraries, community libraries that also need books who don’t have the money to buy these books.

If you are a person who runs a local library, a school library, probably junior high school, or I don’t think a grade school library is going to be appropriate for our book, write to Drew, ask@johnaugust.com. Let us know what your library is. Provide some proof that you actually are this person who is responsible for obtaining books to these libraries. We’ll see if we can send you one of these books that we have here in the office because–

Craig: I honestly feel like if somebody takes the time to pretend to be a library, I think they’ve earned a book.

[laughter]

Craig: That’s kind of cool, yes.

John: We can send them to US libraries. Because of tariffs and customs and everything else, it’s going to be crazy if we try to send this overseas. For stuff here in the United States, we can send them to libraries because this is a book that I would have gotten out of my school library if I had been there.

Craig: Sure, of course. Cool.

John: Craig, any feelings about the numbers, any surprises, anything that you’re still sorting through?

Craig: I don’t know anything about the book business, so I don’t know what any of this means. I do think eventually we’ll earn our advance back. [chuckles]

John: Yes, we will.

Craig: Which is just, you know, otherwise I’ll feel bad.

John: Which is really rare, honestly, for a book to earn its advance back.

Craig: Then why did they make– Then, I don’t understand.

John: Here’s the math behind things, and I think this is the general stuff. I’m pretty sure our contract is similar. There’s the list price of the book, so that it’s $32 for the Scriptnotes’s book. Of that list price, we get $3.20. We get 10% of the first 5,000 copies. The next 5,000 copies we get at 12%. After that, we get at 15%. It’s that $3.20 that we’re earning on that story now that has been paid off our advance.

Craig: That’s the recoupable part. They’re going to make money is the point.

John: The publisher is still making money.

Craig: They’re making money.

John: They’re making money.

Craig: Got it.

John: The bookstores are making money, too.

Craig: Yes, good. Then I’m happy. I just want everybody to be happy.

John: An interesting thing about our book, it was something like 50% of our sales were Amazon, but a lot of them were not Amazon, which I think is also great too. Just the people buying through other places, including local bookstores. We’re excited about that.

Craig: Great.

John: If you still want a signed copy, there’s a place you can order called Premier. Drew, help me out here.

Drew: Yes, Premier Collectibles. I can put the link in the show notes.

John: Premier Collectibles has ones that Craig and I signed. If you’re in Los Angeles, you can also just go to Larchmont. Chevalier’s Books has a few left that we’ve signed on the day of our live show. They’re there if you want signed copies from me and Craig. Let’s answer some questions. Let’s start with this first one about video podcasts.

Drew: Keeping an Ear Out writes, “My question’s about the explosion of video podcasts. I heard that this terminology took off because studios wanted to make videos without signing contracts with IATSE. Is that true? More largely, what’s going on with the guilds in podcasting? Do any guilds cover digital content, and for what kind of labor?”

John: A couple of things. First off, there’s now a term called “audio podcast,” which we always thought of like podcast, of course, it’s audio, and then a video podcast is a separate thing, but now you actually have to distinguish it. Currently, Scriptnotes is an audio podcast. We may do some video stuff down the road. You look at some of these podcasts with video podcasts, and they’re not that different than a lot of talk shows would be or a lot of other broadcast shows. Now, Netflix is buying some of The Ringer’s shows and moving them over to Netflix.

Video podcasts are in this interesting space where it’s like just TV, and so why shouldn’t it have the same kind of rules as TV? I can tell you that some of this stuff is already being covered by the guilds. The Pod Save America podcasts are covered by the Writers Guild East. Whenever there’s a new market, you’ve got to figure out how are we going to handle it or treat it because you don’t want to come in with a heavy hammer and smash everything down before there’s even a viable economic model.

You also don’t want it to mutate into this thing that replaces what you’re actually really doing, or that existing programs get reclassified as being video podcasts. Rather than talk shows or things where we already have Appendix A protections for. We’re going to see what comes in this space.

Craig: Yes, I’m not sure what’s going on with IATSE here. I don’t quite understand how they go about organizing and doing things. The WGA, for instance, in this case, they have an organizing department. The point of the organizing department is to go to podcasts that are prominent. I think somebody said once, the Writers Guild looks to represent anyone who writes things that move on a screen. This moves on a screen. Let’s organize these shows. We can create contracts. The Writers Guild is not about coming in and saying, “Yes, you have a podcast, and you employ a writer. You have to sign the same terms that we sign with Apple and Paramount.”

John: Jimmy Fallon Show.

Craig: Yes. We have the ability to create separate agreements. We do. We also have an agreement with news writers. We have an agreement with daytime writers and all that. I think, yes, this is something that the Writers Guild could certainly do. IATSE can absolutely shut stuff down if they want. I don’t know if you can get around IATSE. At some point, they’ll come for you. When they come, they do have a hammer, a big hammer. Nobody wants to mess with that.

John: Really, you look at a show like Last Week Tonight, John Oliver’s show, which is terrific and great. It has a big writing staff and big production staff. They are able to create an amazing show every week. You compare it to some of the video podcasts, which are also creating a show every week. They may not be quite to the same scale, but they do similar things. This question of, shouldn’t they be treated the same, is correct. Also, the business model behind it is different. That’s why you need to make a separate way of thinking about the deal.

Craig: Yes. We look at the delivery system compared to the work itself. Is this being delivered through television? Is it being delivered through theatrical? Is it being delivered through the internet? Is it being delivered through– Everything can get its own thing. The Guild is not ignorant of the differences. I think, in a case like this, this is a good area for the– I don’t know what the Guild’s organizing department has been doing lately, but this would be an interesting spot to go.

John: This is the thing that the Guild’s organizing department is going to be focusing on. The East already started. We also talked about verticals a few minutes ago. That’s another thing, which is the Guild’s are now looking at how we’re treating those. WGA is, SAG is, thinking about how are we handling this thing? Because, clearly, we can’t just apply normal TV terms to it because there’s not enough money there for that to actually make sense, but you want to have some protections. You want to have ways that this area can grow, but also that people can make a living at it. Let’s answer one more question from Nicole.

Drew: “I have a couple projects that my reps are reluctant to send out anywhere because I created each of them with another person. Their argument is that they’re trying to sell me as an individual, and if I want to partner with someone, then they need to be able to sell us as a true writing partnership with our own joint samples and shared career track, and I need to commit to that forever. This isn’t really something I’m interested in, and my partners on these projects aren’t either. I’m not doing this willy-nilly.

In one instance, my TV concept is about a person with a disability, so it felt important that I develop it with a friend with a disability who’s also a TV writer with credits. Are my reps right, and it’s not worth trying to sell projects as a one-off partnership? Am I never allowed to work with my friends? Is there something I can do to make these one-off partnerships more appealing to my reps or to execs, and what’s the best way to proceed here?”

Craig: I think your reps are right.

John: I think your reps are right.

Craig: Look, these things aren’t dead. If you don’t want to have your career work as a team, and you want a solo career or the ability to join up with anyone at any time, you need to create your own career first. If you sell something as yourself, it goes well, you can always go back to the people that have paid you and said, “By the way, I’ve written a script with this other person. Take a look at it,” and they will. Okay, but first, you got to get going as yourself, and I’m guessing, based on this question, that you’re not necessarily at that place yet.

John: Yes. Nicole already has reps, which is great. I’m reading this letter saying that they signed you as an individual, and now they’re trying– You have this thing you wrote with somebody else. Like, “I don’t know what to do with this because we’ve been trying to sell you as an individual, and now we take this thing out, it just becomes weird and difficult.” I get it. Remember, reps want to be able to sell you to people and then give a consistent story about, “This is what she writes, this is the kind of thing she’s referring for. This is the kind of show they’re trying to staff her on.”

It’s confusing if they’re now trying to sell a thing which is written with somebody else.

Craig: Because then you are going to want to sell something by yourself, and people will ask, “We don’t know if Nicole’s good by herself.” It could have been the other one.

John: It’s the same with writing samples. If they read this thing that you guys wrote together, they’re like, “But did she really write it?”

Craig: Exactly.

John: Craig and I both know writing teams who’ve split apart, and they need to start writing something separately that is just their work, so people can read it as just their work.

Craig: Absolutely.

John: All right, let’s do our one cool thing. My one cool thing is a Substack written by the artist Charli XCX.

Craig: [sings] I don’t care. I love it.

John: Exactly. Craig, I’m impressed you know Charli XCX.

Craig: Of course. How dare you?

John: I am so sorry.

Craig: I barely. What I just did is pretty much the sum total of my Charli XCX.

John: Charli XCX of Brat. She did the music for the upcoming Wuthering Heights.

Craig: Brat Summer.

John: Brat Summer. Smart artist. She has a Substack, which is just her writing about the things that are on her mind. I just feel like more famous people should do it because it’s a chance to have it unfiltered, like, “This is exactly what I think, I don’t have to go through a journalist to put it out there.” Yes, it could be a blog. A Substack is just a common format for this kind of newsletter. I dig her for doing it. I think it’s a smart approach for this because it’s just an unfiltered, “This is what I think about, that one we’ll link to, is the death of cool.”

It’s like her opinion on how much she values cool in a way that is felt a little, I don’t know, she’s ambivalent about it, but also willing to acknowledge that, like, “Yes, I really care about being cool.” I really like that she’s actually just taking the form and just writing in it.

Craig: It’s blogging, right? This is sort of–

John: Yes, you and I both started as bloggers.

Craig: It’s like a very early 2000s thing that people are doing now. This is a new thing. [laughs]

John: This is a new thing?

Craig: No, it is not. It is an old thing, but this is very bloggy. I’m looking at it. It’s like, the blog is back, basically.

John: The blog is back.

Craig: Which is good. It means–

John: It’s not a visual medium. It’s not–

Craig: It’s words.

John: It’s just words.

Craig: Thank God.

John: Give her credit. She gets to string together words that communicate what she wants to say, which is nice. I don’t know. It gets more of us reading things versus just scrolling Instagram. I’ll take it.

Craig: Yes. Complete thoughts with nuanced arguments.

John: Yes.

Craig: Twitter just killed blogs. It just killed it. Now it’s back because Twitter died.

John: I’m glad for that.

Craig: Yes, yes. Dead bird.

John: Dead bird.

Craig: All right, well, that’s a good one. That’s a good one.

John: What are you looking for, Craig?

Craig: Oh, baby.

John: I see the trailer here, and I’m excited. I didn’t know about it, so [crosstalk]

Craig: At the Game Awards, which were held just a few days ago, the Game Awards are an interesting award ceremony because it’s like, I would say, 50% awards, 50% trailers and announcements. It’s like if the Oscars weren’t run by the Academy but rather just by all the studios. [laughter] The thing is, that’s why it’s an awesome award show, because really, it’s like the Super Bowl, where it’s like, “Okay, the game’s great, but show me the ads.” There was a trailer for the new game coming from Larian Studios. Larian Studios, which made our beloved Baldur’s Gate 3.

They had a prior franchise to Baldur’s Gate 3 called Divinity, and in fact, Baldur’s Gate 3 is built on the Divinity platform. They’ve announced essentially what looks to be a reboot-ish start, but not like going back to the start of a new story, but like with a different level of polish and accomplishment because of technology. The trailer is insane. Now it is not a game play trailer. It is very clearly like a very highly rendered cinematic sequence.

John: [crosstalk]

Craig: I’m going to tell you.

John: It’s giving Wicker Man, it’s giving–

Craig: It goes so crazy. [chuckles] I loved it. I loved it, and it was disturbing and beautiful and ugly and gross and amazing. I cannot wait to play Divinity, and I suspect I’m going to have to wait for some time. This was the first time that they announced that this is what they were doing. They’re saying it’s going to be bigger than Baldur’s Gate 3 in terms of the amount of content, which is mind-boggling to me.

John: Absurd. Will we ever get Grand Theft Auto, or will they keep kicking the can?

Craig: Oh, of course.

John: They’ll keep kicking the can.

Craig: No. I think they’re married to September 26th. They’re saying November 19th, 2026. I think they have to hit that. They have to. They can’t miss Christmas. They’re going to–

John: It’s true, it’s Christmas.

Craig: They have to.

John: This is very helpful.

Craig: In my mind, they are saying November 19th because they probably feel like they could absolutely be done by July. I mean, like, at this point. Either way, by the way, they could release it on the worst release date of the year, and it doesn’t matter.

John: Oh, yes. It doesn’t matter.

Craig: It will make $14 trillion.

John: It will break the internet.

Craig: It is going to break everything, including me. We should be well-wrapped in terms of shooting by then.

John: You’re going to just submarine into some GTA?

Craig: No. I have to do quite a bit of post-production, but still, honestly, yes.

John: AI can do it by then.

Craig: Oh God, how dare you? I can hear my editors screaming at you right now.

John: Oh my gosh. That’s the worst. That does look like an incredible trailer, so I’m excited to–

Craig: To tuck in and enjoy it fully.

John: Such smart people. We wanted to have the Larian folks on the show at some point to talk through the-

Craig: I would love to.

John: -storytelling of that. We’ll see if we can find time to get them on.

Craig: I would love that.

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That is also the place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. You will find transcripts at johnaugust.com along with a signup for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. You’ll find the clips and other helpful video on our YouTube. Just search for Scriptnotes and give us a follow.

You’ll also find us on Instagram at Scriptnotes Podcast. People have been sending through their book purchases on Instagram, so Drew reposts those when we see them on the stories. It’s great to see the book showing up in all different places. Craig, I don’t know if I’ve talked about how the book in the UK is a little bit narrower and embossed and shiny.

Craig: Yes.

John: It looks nice.

Craig: People in England deserve something nice.

John: They do. They need to have their own special kind of thing.

Craig: As well as Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland. I think I covered them all.

John: All the Commonwealth countries basically get the UK version. Oh, so Canada gets our version. We have t-shirts, and hoodies, and drinkware. You’ll find there’s a Cotton Bureau. You’ll find show notes with the links to all the things we talked about today in the e-mail you get each week as a premium subscriber. Thank you again to our 4,000 or so premium subscribers. You are superstars. Make it possible for us to do this each and every week. Get signed up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all those back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on Difficult Collaborators. Craig, Drew, thank you so much for a fun show.

Craig: Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

John: All right, we have a question from a writer abroad.

Drew: “How do you tell when a difficult collaboration is simply part of learning this industry and when it’s crossed over into something harmful to your creative spirit? How do you move forward without letting an experience like this make you smaller?”

Craig: Oh, dear.

John: Oh, dear. We’ve talked about this on many episodes, particularly about the mentor relationship or people who are like just bad behavior, or producers who are not even predatory, but just they’re crossing lines consistently. We’ll say this is a little different than the mentorship because this is a collaboration. This is somebody you’re supposed to be working with on a regular basis. I’ve had difficult collaborations where filmmakers, directors, who just like, “We just work at very different speeds.” Some of them have ended up being fruitful, and we got through it.

Some of them ended up badly. It’s a tough thing. I know, Craig, you started off with a writing partner. You and I both now write alone. I feel like I’m not a great creative roommate as a writer. The times I’ve tried to write with other people, I’m just a little controlling and demanding. Sometimes I’m the difficult collaborator, but in general, like, what are some things you’ve learned over the last 30 years doing this about collaboration and that instinct of like, “Oh, this is not working well?”

Craig: Collaboration with a director or a collaboration with a producer or a collaborator is different than collaboration with a writer. That is a very specific thing. I don’t know what the nature of this collaboration is that the writer’s asking about, but we can talk about, yes, I have had moments where I’ve written with other people that I enjoyed. I enjoyed writing with Todd Phillips. That was fun. Mostly, I just want to write by myself alone, to the extent that even though we do have a writer’s room for The Last of Us, I write the scripts. That’s just how I like to do it.

I know that, and I think if you know that about yourself, then it’s incumbent upon you to then avoid situations where you find yourself not being able to do that. When you are in a situation that you can’t avoid, the difficult collaboration comes in two flavors. One flavor is like what you were describing. I move at a different speed. Creatively, I think differently. We don’t agree on tone or all those things. That’s solvable by just one person saying, “I’m going to do it this way, the end.” Or you muddle through with this mush, and it just doesn’t work.

That’s a per-project thing. There’s really nothing you can do about that. That’s just, I’m tall, you’re short, that’s that. The ones that have really messed me up a little bit, and I feel like this is maybe what our questioner is wondering about, are the ones where it’s more of a personal problem. Where there is something that’s upsetting you as you work with somebody. You have a meeting, you work on something, you go home, and you don’t feel good. That’s a tougher one. The writer says, “Harmful to your creative spirit, how do you move forward without letting an experience like this make you smaller?”

There are times in this business where it will be harmful to your creative spirit. It will make you feel smaller. You will struggle with that. Maybe the value of those moments is just, “Okay, I just had the measles. I’m not going to get measles again. Not for a long, long time.” There is a difficult immunization that occurs through infection. It’s hard to recognize certain flavors of trouble until you’ve experienced the trouble.

John: Let’s talk about power. Because a lot of times, what’s really coming down here is who has the relative power in the relationship. In cases where you are a staff writer hired on in a writing room, and there’s a showrunner, and that showrunner has power. That showrunner is also making all the decisions. You can say, “It’s a difficult collaboration.” Yes, it is a form of collaboration, but you are really working for the showrunner. It’s understandable why you might feel frustrated. You might feel like this is difficult. You might not be having a good time in that space.

In terms of the creative process, ultimately, that showrunner is going to be making those decisions, and you have to give yourself some grace of, like, “I don’t have power or control in a lot of these things. That’s just what it is.” I was scrolling through Reddit screenwriting earlier this week, and this writer was complaining that there was a staff writer on a show, and they turned in their script. They didn’t give a lot of notes and feedback on it. The next time they saw the script, it had been really vastly rewritten, and they felt like, “Oh my God, this is so awful.” That’s the nature of the process that you’re in right now.

Craig: That’s normal.

John: That’s normal. Sometimes understanding what normal is, is part of that. Power could also be where you’re much more powerful than the other person you’re collaborating with, which has been some of my situation where I have tried to write with other people, where it’s just like, it wasn’t difficult from my side, but I’m sure it stuck with the other person because it’s like, I would just do whatever I was going to do. Where I suspect this person may be coming from, it’s like, they’re at a similar level here. It’s not clear who’s actually driving the car.

That’s one of the real frustrations, where it’s just like, you both are trying to pilot this thing, and you’re just disagreeing on how to do it, where you’re going. It’s sort of the couple’s therapy of it all, is figuring out how do we get this to work?

Craig: If the primary issue is this person has strong opinions about creatively why something should be this way, and you have opinions about why it should be the other way, in those circumstances, I try to default to the other person’s side, in the sense of like, “Okay, you feel strongly about this. Let’s dig into why, because you may convince me.” I want to be convinced. The whole point of a creative partnership is we are more than the sum of our parts. If I can understand where you’re going with this, maybe we’ll agree, and then we work in sync, or I learned something from you.

That’s potentially valuable. If they have the same attitude toward you, this could be quite fruitful. If they don’t, now you’re crossing into the other issue, which is the issue of personality. It can be incredibly difficult when the personality is such that it’s hard to describe in any other way than when you finish a session, you feel angry. You feel quietly resentful. You feel unheard. You feel insecure. You feel whatever it is that you feel. It may not be the other person’s fault. It may just be the symptom of a mismatch that you’re not meant to be collaborating with this person.
Sometimes, this is something that I still try and work on, is the toxic positivity thing of, like, sometimes in an effort to make something work. In the past, I have been in situations in the past, not recent past, but where I was to go along to get along, and the work suffered.

John: A mutual friend of ours had a very difficult collaboration on a project they were working on. I was hearing the backstory of what was going on behind the scenes, and I was full of sympathy. It’s like you’re both parents of this child, and you want the child to succeed. Sometimes, in those difficult marriages, you do have to suppress some of your instincts to just run away because you both want this child to succeed. It’s finding ways to acknowledge the actual frustration of this moment that you’re in and this contentious relationship.

Also, for the good of the kid, not letting it erupt and damage everything else until you can get through it. Then you can go your separate ways and be honest about what you loved about the experience and what was actually not great about the experience.

Craig: There have been times where it does feel like, okay, after every session, there’s some sort of personal discussion that needs to happen. That is sometimes unavoidable because of the nature of who we are. We are creative people. We’re weird. Our minds are doing this weird thing. It’s unlikely that your weirdness and another person’s weirdness will mesh so beautifully that, A, the work is better when you’re together, and B, you aren’t having personal issues of any kind with the person. Now, writing partnerships that work like that lasts. Thinking of like Harry Elfont and Deb Kaplan, or these people.

John: Dan and Dave.

Craig: Dan and Dave.

John: Benioff and Weiss. They will argue to death about a lot of things, but they’re still all writing together.

Craig: Right. It’s not possible that one of them walks away every single time, going, “I feel bad. I feel resentful. I feel angry. I feel unheard,” whatever it is. Their arguing is good arguing. It’s productive arguing. It’s not personal. Or even if it is personal, it’s personal in a way that’s like brothers, but we are secure enough in our love for each other that tomorrow we’ll be fine. I remember Johann Renck, and I had this thing of, like, because we loved each other, and we would fight all the time. It was such great fights. Very early on, we were like, “Let’s agree to agree.

If we fight, let’s fight. When we get to the end of the fight, we agree.” If you’re like, “Okay, you know what, I’m going with your way,” you don’t go with my way, and then walk away like, “I’m not doing that, actually,” or, “I’m angry.” You’re like, “Oh, okay. You know what? We’re doing it your way.” It worked. I think it worked because we loved each other and because we also had faith that the other person was persuadable. It’s when you feel like you’re in a deal where somebody’s not working in good faith with you that you lose confidence that, really, maybe this can function in a way that is fair and reasonable.

John: A perfect example from my own life was my very first TV show that I created and executive-produced. It was called D.C. It was for the WB Network. It was a partnership, a collaboration between me and Dick Wolf of Law & Order. Anyone should have been able to say, “Oh, this is not going to work. This is going to be disastrously bad.” It was. It wasn’t a good collaboration because of the power imbalance. He was so powerful, and I was the creative person trying to do all this stuff, but also didn’t know what I was doing that it was awful.

I ended up getting fired off the show and having a nervous breakdown. It was bad on almost all the fronts. The reason I bring it up, though, is in time as I pull back out, it just feels like a war that he and I were both in. I have no animosity to him. It was a bad idea for us to be collaborating on this project.

Craig: Mismatch.

John: We never actually made peace. We never spoke after I was fired.

Craig: You don’t need to.

John: We’re both fine. We’re both doing just fine.

Craig: It’s not like your paths are going to cross again. You’re not making procedurals for Dick Wolf. That is a mismatch. That can happen. I’ve been in mismatches. I’ve been in mismatches, and you muddle through. The thing about running a show is you cannot be in a mismatch. You will die. If there is a mismatch, it will express itself. You just won’t be able to make a show. Scott Frank often says, “Good process, good result, bad process, bad result.” It’s not always the case, but I do think if you don’t have some sort of healthy partnership, it’s hard to make something at all.

It’s hard enough even if you have a good one. I didn’t know you back then, but if I did and you were like, “Hey, I’m going to be making a show. I’m going to be running a show for the first time, and it’s for Dick Wolf.” I would have said, “Amazing,” but in my mind, I would have said, “Oh, no.” [laughter]

John: “Oh, no. That feels fraught.” Over the years, I’ve remet writers who are working on Law & Order in those same offices, and they’re like, “I used to just hide in my office because you and Dick would be shouting down the hall at each other.” Can you imagine me shouting in a hallway, Craig? That’s where I was at during that time.

Craig: No, sir. I can imagine you finding a janitor’s closet and crying in there. [laughs] That’s what I would do.

John: There was some of that, too.

Craig: That’s what I would do. I don’t shout down the hallway either. Our friend Derek, who made all the Chicago Fire and all those, he has some great Dick Wolf stories. They’re not bad stories, by the way. I don’t want to imply that he is, but he’s a big personality.

John: He had some power in that situation.

Craig: Derek actually is a great– I could say that is a match. The stories are fun. Dick Wolf is a fun character in his stories, but he’s certainly larger than life. There’s no question about that. Larger than life.

John: Wrapping all this up, you’re going to have situations where you have difficult collaborators. When you have choices about your collaborators, like Craig does in terms of hiring department heads, you’re focusing on the people who it’s going to be a fit. It’s going to be a marriage, and you can make that work. Other times, you’re going to be assigned. It’s like a roommate that’s assigned to you, and you’ve got to make it work and get through the semester. Then learn what you’ve learned.

Craig: Yes. One of the interesting things about being, what you said, in power, when you have power, then you are in a million collaborations, and you do have the ability to end them or continue them, promote them. That is also a tricky thing to recognize there’s something wrong and end it. It’s hard. We’ll call that a good problem to have, I suppose. For our person who’s writing in, I would say you are experiencing something that John and I have both experienced multiple times. The hope is that each time it happens, you at least learn, “Okay, that is a flavor I do not like. I don’t like that flavor of ice cream. Let’s not get pistachio. Oh, let’s not get French vanilla. I don’t like that one either.”

John: You recognize the patterns. You recognize off at first, being like, “The vibe is wrong, and I should trust my instinct there.”

Craig: Trust your instincts. It’s so hard because everyone else has no interest in your instincts. You just got to trust your instincts and trust them in defiance of whatever looks right on paper is nonsense. It doesn’t matter. I’ve talked a lot about when we chose a composer for Chernobyl, and Jóhann Jóhannsson died. We had to replace this incredible composer because he died. We went with Hildur Guðnadóttir, who had scored Sicario 2, and that’s it, but had been working with him and was like his protégé.

There were a lot of composers who– and on paper, she was the least qualified and the weirdest possible choice, but our instinct was that we loved her. Sometimes you just got to go by instinct and let go of what looks good on paper.

John: Thanks, Craig. Thanks, Drew.

Craig: Thanks, guys.

Drew: Thanks.

Links:

  • How Disney’s OpenAI Deal Changes Everything by Steven Zeitchik and Julian Sancton for The Hollywood Reporter
  • Guilty! Director Who Scammed Netflix Out Of Millions Faces Decades Behind Bars by Dominic Patten for Deadline
  • Writing Movies for Fun and Profit: How We Made a Billion Dollars at the Box Office and You Can, Too! by Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon
  • Down to Puck: Why Women Are Going Wild for ‘Heated Rivalry’ by Seth Abramovitch for The Hollywood Reporter
  • Search Engine annual meeting
  • Order a signed copy of the Scriptnotes Book!
  • Charli XCX’s Substack
  • Trailer for Divinity by Larian Studios
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Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 716: Personality Typologies, Transcript

January 2, 2026 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hey, this is John. Standard warning for people who are in the car with their kids, there’s some swearing in this episode.

Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to Episode 716 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, how do you dramatize the untold aspects of an historical moment as a limited series? No, Craig, we’re not talking about Chernobyl again. This time, it is the assassination of US President James Garfield and the chaotic, dysfunctional political system surrounding it. We’ll also discuss personality typologies, the systems for categorizing what makes people and fictional characters tick, plus listener questions. To help us do all that, we welcome back Mike Makowsky, who joined us last time on Episode 448 in 2020.

Mike Makowsky: Thank you for having me.

John: Welcome back, Mike.

Mike: Good to be here.

Craig: Yes, blast from the past. I love this.

Mike: Yes, it was a COVID Zoom.

John: It was a COVID Zoom, yes.

Craig: Back in the COVID days, yes.

John: Back in those days. Your screenwriter, whose credits include HBO’s Bad Education, which is what we talked about.

Craig: Which we loved.

John: Which we loved. Death by Lightning is your new series, the Garfield assassination series. It’s now out on Netflix. It’s just terrific. Congratulations on it.

Mike: Thank you so much.

John: I want to talk about the production of it, the intention of writing about this obscure president and what happened there.

Craig: How dare you, by the way? Obscure?

John: Obscure. Also, just the notion of limited series because they’re increasingly hard to make. We’ll talk about that. In our bonus segment for premium members, I want to talk about coaching trees. This is an article that we found this last week, which was about which TV shows, writers’ rooms generated the most other creators of TV shows. There’s like a–

Craig: Oh, that’s interesting.

John: It’s a branching sort of–

Craig: Like Sid Caesar, our show of shows was sort of the ultimate.

John: Absolutely. That’s sort of the iconic one, but there’s many other ones along the way. Maybe just talk about what the culture is in those shows. That allows for so many writers to grow out of them. First, if anything is going to grow or change, it’s going to be in a new ecosystem because, as we’re recording this, which is sort of two weeks ago for our listeners, Netflix is apparently buying Warner Bros. Craig, how do you feel about that?

Craig: Well, it’s interesting. I work at HBO. HBO is owned by Warner Bros. I think everybody was sitting around going, “Well, it looks like David Ellison and Paramount are going to be buying Warner Bros. Then Netflix, and was it Universal? Both took a swing.

John: Yes, Comcast Universal.

Craig: Yes, Comcast Universal. Then it turned out that Netflix was the one that came out on top. Now, the thing is, we kind of don’t know. We all got the email from Netflix’s subscribers, right? They were like, “We did it.” Yes, they did it in the sense that the board of directors agreed to sell the company to Netflix, but there will be some significant regulatory issues here. Apparently, this is another horseshoe effect where the far right and the far left are very excited to join hands to try and block this sale.

John: It’s also worth remembering, like you were here with us in 2020, the universe conspires to do weird things. Anything that seems like a given or granted is just going to often not happen the way you expect it to happen.

Mike: Yes, that’s exactly right. It’s far above my pay grade to be able to speculate what is going to happen here.

John: I think the only thing I would come back to as sort of ground truth is that I’m really concerned about the idea of making theatrical movies, because Netflix–

Craig: If you’re only really concerned, you’re not concerned enough. [laughter]

John: I just want to state sort of, basic foundational principles is I genuinely believe that movies, by which I’ll define as being roughly two hours of experience, of a narrative that is filmed, I think they belong in theaters first. The theatrical experience is crucial. Once they’ve made their money there, then you can release them for purchase, or for streaming. The goal should be to maximize the value out of each individual title and then reach the widest audience possible. That sounds so basic, but it seems to be so forgotten in all of this.

Craig: It’s not forgotten. I think it is rejected. I think Netflix has rejected that theory completely. They put things in theaters now for a week or two to mollify the filmmakers that they want to attract to their not theatrical experience. They do give Greta Gerwig or Rian Johnson a little taste, helps them qualify for the Oscars and so forth. Really, they just want it on their platform. I’ll make a few predictions because, unlike Mike, I do not have the humility of understanding when things are above my pay grade. These are above my pay grade, I don’t care.

John: Here to promote a Netflix show today, definitely.

Craig: Yes. Well, most shows are Netflix shows, and even more shows are about to be Netflix shows if this goes through. If it goes through, I think Warner Bros theatrical is toast. I think the only question is, what do they do with HBO? Because you don’t buy HBO to not have HBO, that would be crazy. The worst possible view is that Netflix bought Warner Bros for the library alone. Now they will just make Lord of the Rings shows and Harry Potter, which HBO is already doing. HBO is one of the only brands that means something in our ecosystem.

Prediction is that they actually keep an HBO app. It won’t be HBO Max anymore. It can finally just go back to being HBO. Well, it’s one last change. It will be a bundled app with Netflix that you get for free as part of your subscription, and HBO will live as a little island. It’ll obviously all be owned by Netflix. Then, when the Emmys come around, HBO, Netflix will win all the time.

John: All of the Emmys.

Craig: Constantly. It’s them, and then FX picks up a few here and there. That’s my prediction.

John: I can see that happening. We should acknowledge that as we’re recording this, there’s a lot of public statements about, oh, no, we’re going to maintain Warner Bros as an entity, and they’re going to still release things theatrically. They also said that about Fox. Fox exists kind of a name only. They are making movies.

Craig: That was Disney, that likes making movies.

John: They like making movies.

Craig: I think what Sarandos said was something like, yes, we’ll take a look at it, and then as things evolve, we’ll re-examine. It was sort of like, no, we absolutely won’t use this gun pointed at this head to shoot it. It’s a bummer.

John: It’s a bummer.

Craig: It’s a bummer. It’s not that I don’t like Netflix. I subscribe to Netflix. I watch Netflix. Netflix makes great shows like Death by Lightning. They make a load of great shows.

John: They do.

Craig: It’s just that I also like going to the movies, and that’s an area where I disagree with them. I know that when somebody like Ryan Johnson says, “You must give me a theatrical release,” clearly, he does too. We all want a theatrical release for things like that. I’m not stupid enough to root for one corporation over another. They’re all corporations. It will be interesting to see. It’s going to take, what, 18 months? Is that what they’re saying?

John: Yes. It’s going to be a while before we sort of know how this sorts up.

Craig: This will be the fourth corporate parent that I’ve experienced at HBO since I’ve been there. I’ve only been there since 2015.

John: That’s crazy. All right. We will not be able to resolve the Netflix of it all, but we can talk about something much more local, which is the Scriptnotes book. As we’re recording this, we don’t have the actual sales figures, so we don’t know how it did its opening week, but it did really well. We’re really happy with the launch of it. Thank you to everyone who pre-ordered it. Thank you to everyone who bought it the first week. Thank you for everyone who came out to our live show to buy it there. Everyone who posted about it, that’s awesome. Drew has been reposting a lot on the Scriptnotes Instagram.

Drew Marquardt: Yes. Basically, anytime I open up the app, there’s five or so people who have posted about it, which is great.

John: Yes. We’re resharing their stories. Thank you to everyone who’s left a review on Goodreads or Amazon, because those help us get the word out about the book. One thing that’s come up frequently, and Mike, you have your copy of the book in front of you, people say it’s lighter than you expect it to feel, that it feels light in your hand. Do you notice this?

Mike: So light. I have to compliment the binding as well. It’s a beautiful-looking tome here.

John: It is a gorgeous book. I want to talk a little bit about why it feels lighter in your hand, because it’s one of the most consistent things we’ve heard. Craig’s like, “Oh, did they make it out of balsa wood? Is there something strange about this book?” I went down a rabbit hole, and I did the math. I did some research on it. It actually weighs about what it should. If you compare it to another hardcover book that’s the same size, so I Have Atomic Habits, which is a bestseller that’s also the same number of pages, it weighs more than that, which it should because it’s physically wider than that. It’s 24% bigger by volume, but only 13% heavier.

It’s a little bit different than should you expect. Mostly, the effect is that it’s called the size-weight illusion. It’s what makes your brain make predictions about how much it thinks something should weigh. This is actually a documented phenomenon. I’ll put a link in the show notes to it. Craig, you like psychology. This is certainly up your alley.

Craig: I love psychology.

John: Your brain makes predictions about how much something should weigh so that as you’re reaching for it, you have an anticipation about how much force you’re going to use to lift something. That’s based upon visual information. What you see, it’s size, it’s thickness, it’s apparent material. It’s based on semantic clues. You have a sense that a brick should weigh more than a book should weigh. Then, just prior experience with similar objects. I think that’s mostly what is throwing people off about it is because it looks more like a textbook, and we have a sense of how much a textbook should weigh, and it just weighs less than a textbook.

Craig: Why does it weigh less?

John: It’s a different paper stock. I think it’s mostly what it is. This is the standard hardcover book paper stock, whereas opposed to a textbook has that glossy paper and that glossy paper just weighs more. There’s an area called expectology, which is the expectation factor. When you make a prediction error about how much something should weigh or what it should sound like or feel like, you get this moment of cognitive dissonance. I think that’s what’s happening with the book.

Craig: To me, it still feels like when you pick it up, that it’s one of those fake books that you open and it’s hollow, and then you put your keys in it or something.

John: Absolutely. You store your hooch in there. You store your sippets.

Craig: Also, who needs a heavy book? Holding a book actually is annoying after a while when you’re reading it. Where do you think people are going to read this, John? Physically, in space, where are they reading this?

John: As we talked about from the very start, I think it’s an ideal bathroom book.

Craig: Absolutely.

John: You’re sitting there–

Craig: You’re on the toilet, and you’re getting smarter.

John: Yes, as you’re doing it.

Craig: Yes, I always wanted to be one of those books.

John: Yes, so good. For me, growing up, my D&D manual is one of those books.

Craig: Do you know who we had in our bathroom growing up? Reader’s Digest.

John: So good.

Craig: Yes. Did they even make that anymore?

John: I suspect Reader’s Digest still exists. I remember there was the word power. It pays to increase your–

Craig: Then there was Laughter is the Best Medicine. It was so clearly meant for old people because there were ads in it, and I recall they were always for pheniment or aspergum, basically just arthritis medications. I’m like an eight-year-old sitting on the toilet reading books for 80-year-olds. It was nice, though. I learned.

Mike: They do still exist in print, but it seems like it’s a bigger, it’s like a magazine size. I remember them being smaller.

John: It should be a little folio size. Oh my gosh, that breaks my expectation, and therefore I hate it.

Craig: Yes, therefore I hate it.

John: We also have some follow-up about Orange Books. Mick wrote in. On a recent episode, you referred to the Scriptnotes book as The Orange Book. As a former Nickelodeon writer, producer, and longtime listener, I feel a duty to mention that on my first day at the network in 2001, the creative director handed me a copy of The Orange Book. This incredible tome is a creative guide to all aspects of Nickelodeon’s brand. It’s legendary amongst Nickelodeon writers and producers, and it takes its title from the famous orange splat logo. I fear that you may be served a cease and desist order by the Bikini Bottom business and legal affairs team over your claims to the term The Orange Book.

They sent through a photo of The Orange Book, or a copy of The Orange Book, which still remains. I couldn’t find a copy of a PDF of it online, but I found some other material referring to it and drawn from it. It looks like a really good brand design book. I will say that Nickelodeon, at its peak, you clearly understood what Nickelodeon was. It was a very consistent sort of space, the same way Disney is very consistent branding. Good on them, but also don’t sue us.

Craig: I don’t think I’ve ever reflected on how odd it is that the cable children’s channel that was, I guess, at one time, the best, or the peak, was Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon is the most old-timey word ever.

John: It’s also a word I can never spell properly. I keep wanting to do it like a C-H rather than a K, or the L-E as opposed to the E-L.

Craig: That’s Nickelodeon. That’s different. Yes, but Nickelodeon?

John: It’s a word like chariot, where it’s just lost all reference to what it was really meant to stand for.

Craig: Yes, it’s a very strange thing. It’s something that they would never do now, but see, it worked. Children don’t know what an actual Nickelodeon was, which was, what, the five-cent thing that you would play the silent movie in while you stuck your face in it. In 1920, I guess.

John: I also feel like they, at some point, just shortened it down to Nick, and that they don’t say Nickelodeon very often anymore.

Craig: Nick, Nick.

John: Nick Jr. There’s Nick at night.

Mike: We have more follow-up about breaking into your 30s. Anne writes, after spending my 20s and early 30s working in a rock and roll concert production, I was in need of reigniting my creative side. With a stack of writing samples and a surprising number of contacts I’d unearthed, I moved to Hollywood at the age of 35. To support myself as I navigated this new world, I began temping at the studios as an assistant and quickly discovered that my age and experience were an asset. I became known for being able to parachute into high-level executive offices and keep everything flowing smoothly.

I found my home in the Disney Touchstone film division, where I rotated through executives while I inhaled the script database and watched the movie-making machinery in action. I don’t know if what is left of the studio still uses temps, but if so, this is an avenue that the person who wrote it earlier should explore.

John: Temping is a thing we didn’t talk about in that, and it does make sense. I think the original writer was saying, “Oh, I want to get a writer’s assistant job. I want to do this kind of thing.” I said, that’s a challenging way in. What Anne’s describing, which is being that temp who actually knows what they’re doing and can just show up on the day and make stuff work and happen, that’s great. I would say a lot of these companies do have internal temp pools or floating workers, and that feels like a really smart choice.

Craig: That was the first couple of jobs I had were temp jobs. I think we’ve talked about. Do they still have the Friedman agency, the temp agency just for entertainment business? I think it still exists.

John: Live Google.

Drew: F-R-E-I-D?

Craig: Yes, Friedman.

Drew: Yes, Friedman Personnel Agency. It seems to still exist.

John: Yes. A place like that could make a lot of sense and also give you a chance to just see a bunch of stuff. If you’re just at one desk at one studio, you’re not seeing a bunch, but if you’re floating around, you can have a chance to read a bunch of things. Also, the expectations of ability to do stuff as a temp are pretty low. Basically, just keep the lights on is probably a lot of it, so that may help.

Craig: Yes, you can easily exceed expectations.

John: All right. On the subject of exceeding expectations, we have Mike Makowsky here. Your show is delightful. It details the assassination of James Garfield and the man who assassinates James Garfield. Spoiler, he’s going to die. I want to first just start with a fundamental question. Why make this show? It’s based on a bestselling nonfiction book. It’s not called Death by Lightning. How did it come upon your reading list, and what made you want to make it?

Mike: About seven years ago, I was at the Grove Barnes & Noble at the Buy 2 Get 1 Free table, and I needed a third book. I picked up this book about the Garfield assassination. Destiny of the Republic by Candace Millard. First, I obviously made sure it was the proper weight. I made sure that from a semantical perspective.

John: It looks like a book. In your hand, it felt like a book.

Mike: Yes. It wasn’t orange. It didn’t conflict with Nickelodeon or anything.

Craig: It sounds nice to be honest, they’ll get sued.

Mike: I read the back cover, and I think I had known that James Garfield had been assassinated. I dimly recalled that fact.

John: It feels like Jeopardy information.

Mike: That’s the reason I bought the book. I was like, I think I want to be on Jeopardy one day. Let me educate myself. I felt very embarrassed that I knew nothing about our 20th president. To me, James Garfield, his name evoked a little more than a very anonymous bearded portrait on a wall sans any real context. The book sat in a pile for a couple of months to get up the juice to read the James Garfield book. It wasn’t necessarily a priority for me. I wound up reading the book eventually in one sitting, which was atypical for me.

I found it not only propulsive, but very moving and tragic and crazy and absurd. I kept having to go to Wikipedia every five pages to make sure that this historian in Kansas wasn’t making all this shit up because it seemed way too crazy.

John: I will say that the show is absurd, but also it’s funny in ways that you wouldn’t expect it to be.

Mike: I found myself laughing a lot at this book that’s not written with any real explicit levity or mirth, but there’s a deeply ingrained situational absurdity to virtually all of the proceedings.

John: This man should never have been president.

Mike: He was nominated for president against his will, ostensibly. James Garfield shows up at the 1880s Chicago convention for his party to nominate an entirely different candidate. His speech is so profound and presents such a strong vision for the future of our country that someone stands up in the rafters and shouts, “We want Garfield.” Which is so crazy. In many ways, Garfield was this poster boy for the American dream. He was a Civil War hero. He was this outspoken progressive advocate for civil rights and civil service reform, and universal education.

He was largely self-taught, grew up in abject poverty, just the right man for the job. He was not a popular figure prior to stepping on that stage and delivering an Obama in 2004 level speech, where everyone’s just like, who the fuck is this guy? Eventually, the voting reached a deadlock because no one could agree on a candidate. There were a lot of warring factions within his party at the time. On the 36th ballot, Garfield is accidentally nominated for president.

John: There’s a version of that which is essentially Conclave because that’s the underlying–

Mike: It’s very much like an American Conclave. I wrote the show long before Conclave existed, but I remember seeing that in theaters last year and being like, “Oh, that’s just like, it’s very similar.”

John: You’re reading this book, and you have to make a decision like, okay, you want to do something with it, but when did you know, like, oh, this is probably a limited series versus a feature? What were your next steps after reading the book?

Mike: Yes, I think instantly. Again, I read the book. I found myself laughing a lot. That’s not normal for me, but my tone tends to be a little bit more darkly comic. I think the fact that I was laughing a lot led me to believe. I think that this is indicative of my voice and my perspective. I don’t know that other people would necessarily receive this story in the exact same way. I think I should try and pursue this thing. I ended up getting the historian, Candace, on the phone and pitching my heart out to, “Please let me adapt this.” She was like, “Yes, okay.”

I ended up optioning the rights to the book myself because there wasn’t anyone that was going to pay me to write a James Garfield show anytime that I told, whether it was my agent or executives that I was friends with, that I wanted to write a limited series about the Garfield assassination, they were like, “Good luck.” [crosstalk]

John: Let us know when you actually want to work.

Mike: My agent was just like, “Do you despise me? Do you hate me?”

Craig: At the same time, you probably understood that that’s why the show could work because nobody’s expecting anything. Then you go, surprise, there was this entire thing under your nose that is extraordinary. You’re sitting on a gold mine. That’s a good feeling, actually.

Mike: The great joy of Chernobyl was obviously very instructive for me in a lot of ways. It was a five-episode limited series about a subject that, on the surface, most people probably wouldn’t think that they would be terribly interested in. Then they would assume that any telling of that story would be a little bit dustier, didactic, like a history lesson. To be able, as a writer, to create an interest where there was none before. I have absolutely no illusions that most people are going to want to readily watch a James Garfield show or learn a ton about James Garfield.

Certainly, in the 150 years since his death, there hasn’t been a ton of interest in him.

Craig: That’s good news, though. That’s good news.

Mike: It’s a sort of tabula rasa where you’re like, you actually get to present, hopefully in a compelling enough way, a story that people really don’t know anything about.

Craig: I think it’s wonderful.

Mike: That’s so exciting.

Craig: It is exciting. When we think about the choices of what we’re going to do, it is true that if you say, I want to do a story about James Garfield, everyone’s going to either laugh or make fun of you.

Mike: There’s a lot of jokes about him hating Mondays or my agent loves lasagna. Keeps calling him Andrew Garfield by accident, so I just stopped correcting him.

Craig: That’s all fine. The problem is, if you say, I want to adapt blank, and it’s something that they would be excited by just because of the subject, it’s been done. It’s been done a million times. What’s the point of saying, “You know what I want to do? I want to do a story about Vietnam.” Oh, yes, the Vietnam War. I know about that. That’s a thing that people like. That’s why we made 400 movies and shows about it. Finding something like this that is this little hidden gem, and we know that oftentimes these are the things that just seize people. I’m thinking of Scott Frank’s Queen’s Gambit. I want to make a show about people playing chess.

Mike: The metrics for how few people who engage with the Queen’s Gambit have actually even played chess before is pretty fascinating. Again, you’re creating an interest where there was none before. From a marketplace perspective, these are, as I know you know, from Chernobyl, incredibly difficult propositions. No one’s lining up. There’s no ready-made comps for what you’re trying to achieve. You’re not trying to make the next Stranger Things that ends up being a pale imitation of Stranger Things. It is a wholly original proposition, and that is really scary. It ends up being incredibly difficult.
99 times out of 100, you don’t get to actually follow through with it, which is heartbreaking. It feels in many ways like we got to pull off this incredible heist by getting this show made.

John: You’re saying we, but you were just off writing this by yourself. What happened next?

Mike: I spec’d the pilot script, and it was immediately–

John: You didn’t say pilot, but you knew it was going to be four episodes, five episodes?

Mike: I originally intended for it to be six, and for a number of reasons, it ended up becoming four prior to ever being written. I wrote the pilot script as a proof of concept because, again, anytime I told people I wanted to make a darkly comic and subversive take on the Garfield assassination, they were just like, “No, fuck you.” I wrote the script. I was super proud of it. Then just through the different machination, it took about a year, but it ended up getting in the hands of our mutual friends and the producers of the show, David Benioff, Dan Weiss, and Bernie Caulfield, who gratefully fell in love with it and were able to champion it at Netflix, and at least get Netflix to agree to let me write a second episode.

It was a development process that lasted about three, four years, ultimately, because I had to jump through every conceivable hoop imaginable over there. I wrote a 70-page bible after the second episode. I ended up writing four more episodes, then condensed those back down to two more episodes. We had a director. The director fell out. We got another director. We had to cast the two leads. We were in Budapest scouting for the show, backing into a start date, and we weren’t actually greenlit yet. Again, I feel like we just slipped in under the wire on this thing.

Craig: I was going to congratulate Netflix on their impressions and their risk-taking. Now, I’m going to pull back a little bit just because it does sound like they really put you through it. Then again, HBO put me through it, too. Nobody’s just going to casually go, yes, here, make this thing that’s probably just going to run in social studies classrooms. They are going to put you through it, which I understand. I have to assume, based on Budapest, that budgetarily, you did not have a lot of wiggle room there, I’m guessing.

Mike: Yes. Whenever people ask me how the show got made, I hold up the one Dr. Strange finger from the Avengers. I don’t know that there were multiple pads to get this James Garfield show made in 2024 when he shot it. I’m extraordinarily grateful to Netflix. I don’t know that anyone but Netflix would have made this show at all. We had a slate of executives who were also extremely passionate and grew extremely passionate about the show. Even that only really gets you so far. No, we had to pass a lot of litmus tests in order to ever see the light of day.

John: Can we talk about Budapest? One of the things I was surprised about, but I realized I have not seen that era of American history very much on screen. Budapest, I suspect, had buildings and places that actually looked like that in a good way. I’m sure there was a lot of visual effects to create the depth behind things. It looks great, and you also have scenes with 500 extras in them, which is just very difficult to do in the US or even in Canada to get that sense of scale. That’s all really helpful. It’s also challenging just being in Budapest for six months or so.

Mike: Yes. It was funny. I got married, and two weeks later, I was in Budapest for five months. Now I’m getting divorced. No, we’re good. She’s finally out of that here on air now. No, Cara got a line in the show, which she was thrilled about. She’s crowd woman number one. She came out for one week, and she was treated as a queen.

John: Boo. Well, congratulations on the show. I’m just so happy that it exists and that it got made. I remember Dan and Dave talking about, like, oh, yes, we’re doing this crazy Garfield thing. They didn’t say it’ll never get made, but it was clear this is going to be a hard lift to get it there.

Mike: I’m not sure anyone but them could have really mounted it.

Craig: I love that they did that. Mike and I would pass each other in the halls over at Formosa Sound, where I was mixing the second season of The Last of Us, and he was mixing Death by Lightning. That’s where I found out that this was a show about Garfield. I was just to give a little salute to my dearly departed dad. He was an American history teacher, and he loved Garfield. He loved Garfield. He thought Garfield was one of the only good presidents of that era. Also, just as a musical fan, I love Stephen Sondheim’s Assassins, and Charles Guiteau’s song is the best song in the show. It’s the best.

John: I need to go back and re-listen to it. I’ve seen Assassins, but I don’t know it off the top of my head, so I–

Craig: Because he’s crazy.

John: Yes.

Mike: Charles Guiteau is the guy that assassinated Garfield, who is a very fascinating character in his own right and is this perverse funhouse mirror image of Garfield in many ways. These are two guys who operate at opposite ends of the American social spectrum. On one end, again, you have this poster boy for the American dream who falls upward accidentally to a presidency just based on strength of character and merit. Guiteau, who also grew up in abject poverty, but worshipped Garfield. As soon as he heard about Garfield, he was like, “This guy gets it.”

Craig: I deserve a job from him.

Mike: Right. I need to do everything in my power to get this man elected because once he’s elected, he’s going to see that the two of us are kindred spirits, and he’s going to appoint me to an ambassadorship to Paris. Guiteau, unlike Garfield, had failed abjectly at everything that he had ever attempted. He was a failed lawyer, failed public speaker, failed newspaper editor. He had spent a couple of years at America’s first-ever free love commune, the Oneidas, and he was kicked out. He was the one guy who couldn’t get laid at the sex commune.
He refused to do the manual labor required of him, so the women on the farm would call him Charles Get Out.

Craig: Charles Guiteau.

Mike: Once Garfield is elected, it’s the first time in Guiteau’s life that he’s ever put his energy into something and succeeded in some warped way, and derive so much of his own self-value from Garfield’s. There’s this weird, toxic parasocial obsession quality that feels so modern.

John: It feels incredibly modern. It feels like it’s a pre-social media time, but you recognize, oh, I see there’s that. Rather than retweeting him, he’s like, I’m going to shake his hand, and therefore we are best buds, and I know him. It’s interesting to watch that.

Mike: Once he’s rebuffed by the Garfield administration, he just descends into madness and becomes convinced that his way to matter and to etch his name in the annals of American history in a positive way is to save the country from James Garfield.

Craig: Well, he’s etched his name into the annals in the strangest way. We all know the name Charles Guiteau, just not for the reason you wanted. I’m very glad that you made this show. I hope it’s doing well. I would urge people, as they’re listening to this, if you have something that you’re obsessed with in history, I hope that you’re pulling out of this. The most important thing that I think Mike said about the genesis of this is how he became passionate. He felt like, “Ooh, I can’t wait to tell people about this.” If you start telling people about these things, and they go, “Oh, you got something.”

If you start telling people about these things and they’re like, “No, that’s pretty much as boring as I thought it was,” then you don’t. Follow that, at least that initial thing is very exciting to find something that we haven’t seen a million times.

Mike: James Garfield was my Roman Empire for about seven years. To anyone that would listen on the street, I would pull them up with the lapels and be like, James Garfield’s the most fascinating story you don’t know. I had a birthday cake one year that my parents made for me with Garfield’s face on it. They were just like, “When are you going to stop talking about James Garfield?” What a privilege to be able to help reintroduce this man to modern audiences. In the process of my research, I went to Ohio.

He’s the only president who is not interred or cremated, or buried. His coffin and his wife’s coffin are on twin pedestals in their crypt in Cleveland at their memorial. Anyone can go and spend time with Garfield. Obviously, the coffins are behind broad iron gates. You can’t touch the coffins. I went there in 2019 when I was first starting to do research on this. For the full hour that I was down there, I was the only visitor, which felt crazy to me.

Craig: That sounds about right.

Mike: No. To you, it seems crazy, but to everyone else listening, like, no, that makes sense.

Craig: I’m routinely the only person at Buchanan’s grave. That just happens. It’s just standard.

Mike: Buchanan, that’s not a good one.

Craig: No. It’s not. It’s just fully bad.

Mike: As a bonus, I also get to tell the story of Chester Arthur, who is Garfield’s vice president, or [crosstalk] Nick Offerman. Yes, our buddy Nick Offerman, who is just such a dream. Of all of the characters in the script, I wrote Chester Arthur with Nick Offerman’s voice in my head the entire time.

Craig: Which makes it so easy. I was just saying this the other day. If you can just sit there in your mind and go, well, it seems to me that you’re not, and you just start slipping into the cadence. You’re like, I know what to write. I know how to do this.

Mike: It does help. He was so great. I’m so glad that he said yes.

John: Mike, the first time I met you was on Zoom because you came on for HBO’s Bad Education. Then, post-pandemic, you and I met up for coffee, and we got to talk a little bit. At that coffee, we were having a conversation about your writing practices, your thing, how you do stuff. I think I noticed this in the Bad Education script is that we talk about how much things look on the page, how you want a good-looking page. Your pages were, all the margins were exactly identical. Each line was the exact same length.

There was a precision that I worried was a little bit overkill because you’re not making the best choices on words if you’re actually worried about the character length. I asked whether you’d ever consider talking with somebody about your writing practices and things like that. We had a little conversation about that. How much are you comfortable sharing what you’ve done in the meantime?

Mike: I didn’t know we were going to be talking about this. We had coffee a few years ago. You guys have done however many episodes of Scriptnotes. It’s 714.

John: 16, yes.

Mike: 16. I have a very, very specific way of writing. I think it’s a low-grade OCD where a lot of people don’t like orphans or orphan lines. I think I’ve taken it to an obsessive level. I think I showed you a sample page from something that I was currently working on, I think probably Death by Lightning. I was like, have you seen this before? You looked at it for about 30 seconds, and then you looked up at me, and you were like, “Are you in therapy?” [laughter] I was like, I’m not. You ended up introducing me to my therapist, who’s also a frequent guest on this podcast as well.

John: Dennis Palumbo, Episode 99. A famous episode for our listeners, which we talk about psychotherapy for screenwriters and specific things that writers may benefit from therapy. Was it helpful? Again, as much as you feel like sharing or don’t feel like sharing, I’m curious because I feel like we have other listeners who probably have similar sort of things that they’re working on.

Mike: Here’s how I feel about writing. I probably spend about 50% of the time that I write making sure that the lines fit correctly for me. Sometimes that means sacrificing a really great line, but it also leads me to over-scrutinize every word in a way that I think actually does ultimately improve the writing. Nothing about my writing process is passive, and it needs to fit a specific way. The one sheet that I do, I don’t fuck with margins at all, but sometimes I will reduce the space between two words from a 12 to a 10 just manually.

I spend a lot of time obsessively just making sure that the dialogue looks like blocks and that there’s not just one or two words hanging over. I didn’t always used to be this way. It’s actually grown more cute as I’ve gotten older, which I think is a little bit worrisome. It’s also become almost like a good luck talisman. I want to present the best-looking aesthetic version of a script because I do believe that there is a subconscious quality to reading a script. If it just looks sloppy on the page, at least for me as a reader, it does sometimes affect how I read.

Craig: I wonder if, as I listen to you, I think a couple of things, that one, that’s crazy, but two, so what? Because you’re good. I guess whatever helps a good writer write. We are not perfect. We all have our things. As you mentioned, maybe there is a theoretical, better version of a script you write that is less concerned about these things, but you don’t write that script because you are concerned about those things. If the script is good and you need to not use the letter Q for some reason, what do I care? We’re all crazy.

What we do is a kind of insanity, and we all have our weird things. It sounds to me like maybe you’ve made your peace with it and you accept that it’s part of your process and it’s a good thing for you.

Mike: Yes, it’s never felt crippling. Then once you get into production and there’s just the realities of talking about the actors, and then you’re like, you know what? I don’t think I’m so hobbled by it, but I do think in those early drafts that it does help my process to over-scrutinize and be a little bit obsessive with the words that are in the script. Yes, I’m probably insane. When I first spoke to Dennis, my therapist of about three years now, I showed him a sample page, and he was just like, “Do you feel like it helps you? Do you feel like it makes you better at doing this?”

I think at least in the short term, it does. In the long term, we’ll see. For right now, I think it leads to a more thought-out product and one that I do think, from an aesthetic perspective, it is helpful to be presenting something that looks clean.

Craig: It may not really matter to anyone but you, but that’s fine.

Mike: It does matter to you.

Craig: Exactly.

John: I want to go back to my initial instinct when I saw your page. My concern was this may be getting in the way of you doing the best work that you know how to do. To hear you articulate that you feel like this is a helpful way for you to get that best draft that you feel good about that feels like it is your work, then I totally respect that. It sounds like Dennis provided a perspective on, is this helping or is this getting in your way? That would be the crucial question. Is this helping you do the work that you want to do, or is it a thing that is stopping you from doing the work or distracting you from doing the work?

It sounds like you believe at this moment, it’s helpful, but you’re also mindful that at some point, it could be not helpful.

Mike: It has to be. I’ve never run a writer’s room or really been in a writer’s room. When you’re collaborating with other writers, yes, you have to throw that in the garbage immediately, that notion that your script should look like someone else’s. At moments, I’m not that crazy.

John: Also, there are a lot of people who are listening to this podcast who are looking at their own scripts and their own pages. Listening to the three page challenge, and we’re talking about how it looks on the page. We’re talking about widows and orphan some, but also just how lines are broken up and how this all feels.

I want to make sure that in the conversations that Craig and I have about the pages that we’re looking at, no one is taking it to an unhelpful extreme. No one’s being so obsessed with it. They’re not actually focused on what the words themselves actually are. Which is, it sounds like it is for you, a tool to really help you inspect what are the word choices you’re making, not just is it exactly 60 characters long?

Mike: I know, I think every word has a cost to it, so hopefully it leads to a tighter draft.

Craig: It leads to a draft. That’s the–

John: It leads to a draft. That’s a crucial thing.

Mike: As long as it leads to a draft.

Craig: It’s how it comes out. That’s how it’s organized with you. Our brains are complicated. One of the things I’ve been really working on for myself in this area of– I don’t know what you’d call it, human growth and enlightenment, is understanding that the process that I follow to make stuff is flawed because I am flawed, and that’s okay. That’s standard. Standardish human being, not a god, flawed. It works. It’s just the flaws are part of it.

You have to accept it. You can call the flaws at that point not flaws, just characteristics. You don’t actually get to write anything if it doesn’t go through the machinery of, and I also want it to look like this. It’s the same thing. You can’t separate them. When you get to a place where you’re like, “I actually don’t like this. This is holding me back. Now it just feels like a bad habit,” then you become aware and then it is recontextualized, and perhaps it is teased apart, but if it never gets teased apart, if you spend the rest of your life turning things to make them fit, if the scripts are good, this is how you do it.

John: You said bad habits. I think I often say is that early in my career, I felt like I had a lot of bad habits, and at some point, stopped labeling them as bad. They’re just my habits.

Craig: They’re your habits.

John: They’re the way I do things, and that’s actually okay.

Craig: That’s part of it.

John: Some of my procrastination is just my habit, and I can’t fix it because it’s actually just how I work. That’s also okay. If at a certain point it does get in the way of how I work, then I need to really stop and examine them and see if there’s a thing I can do to not fall into that pattern again.

Mike: It’s actually incredibly helpful to talk about this with you guys. In no way would I recommend that anyone else do what I’m currently doing.

Craig: No one else is going to.

Mike: I’m not preaching the gospel here.

Craig: It doesn’t sound like fun.

[laughter]

Mike: No.

Craig: It sounds like you.

Mike: To me, it’s a version of problem-solving and puzzling in a way. It’s an added component to the way that I write. I think that at times it ends up leading to something beautiful. Other times, I do have to sacrifice my first blush best line, and maybe I find something better. Hopefully, if I’m ever on this podcast again, we can check back in, see if I’m still doing it. Right now it’s proved I would say mostly helpful and not too benevolent.

Craig: It seems like it’s been incredibly helpful, actually. Sometimes people will talk about these issues, and they will put them under, “Oh, I know I seem a little OCD about this.” We tend to concentrate on the O, which is obsession. I think it’s the C, it’s compulsion that is far more frequent among people who do what we do in a large sense, because we’re compelled to do it in the first place. It is compulsory. Then there are these kinds of compulsions that occur as part of this compulsory behavior of writing.

Mike: I think all screenwriters are bound by this. We’re all compulsive, we’re all a little crazy. We’re all neurotic. We’re all in our heads, locked ourselves in rooms, and written these things in a vacuum. There is a compulsion there. Sometimes that comes out sideways, like in my case. We all have different processes, and it’s helpful to be able to talk about it, especially with two guys like you.

Craig: You are not alone. To say that we are all idiosyncratic in our own idiosyncratic ways would be an understatement. This is actually great for people at home who may feel sometimes like they’re weird. Yes, writing is a weird thing to do. Imagining that you’re 12 different people who are all disagreeing with each other is a weird thing to do, coming up with these scenarios all the time, and what we do is weird.

It is neurologically weird. How could you not, as part of the neurological weirdness, have quirks? To the extent that you can accept those quirks as long as John says, they’re not things that you don’t– if you don’t feel a great need to get rid of it, then you and Mike Makowsky have something in common, and me, and John.

John: Next thing I want to talk about is typologies. This came up because my husband, Mike, I was describing to him this person I needed to work with and some frustrations I was feeling about our working relationship. Mike said like, “Oh, well, she’s a questioner.” I’m like, “What does that mean?” It’s like, “Oh, Gretchen Rubin’s four tendencies. There’s a questioner.”

He brought this up before, and he is like, “I will show you the chapter on how to deal with a questioner.” He showed me the chapter in the book. I’m like, “Oh, wow. That is exactly right. You’ve precisely diagnosed why I’m having a challenging time with this and what the best strategies are for getting into consensus with this person.” I want to have a general conversation about personality archetypes, the ways we saw people, both in the real world and also our fictional characters.

I think there’s this instinct that you should be able to neatly categorize all these people and their personalities and their types. Craig, you and I have talked about Myers-Briggs before. In addition to Myers-Briggs, there’s Enneagram, the Big Five, you hear about the four behavioral types from DiSC, and the four tendencies from Gretchen Rubin.

Mike: I remember I read a book in high school when I was buying all the screenwriting books called The Writer’s Guide to Character Traits.

Craig: Sure.

Mike: I don’t know if you guys have ever heard of that one.

Craig: Is it Orange? Does it–

Mike: I’m sorry. I’m frantically–

Craig: Is it light?

Mike: It was blue.

Craig: Oh.

Mike: I’m frantically trying to Google it right now, but maybe we can-

Craig: Blue books are out, orange books are in.

John: Absolutely. I remember an early book I read was The Gods in Everyman, or The Goddesses in Everywoman. Basically, it was talking about personality types that way. I’d love to have a discussion about to what point is it useful and to what point is it just astrology, and you’re just randomly assigning labels to things.

Mike: Oh gosh. I don’t–

John: You don’t think of your characters in terms of a bundle of attributes that sort of fit neatly together?

Mike: I don’t think so. I tend to adapt. I adapt a lot of true stories. I definitely gravitate to characters that have similar misguided impulses to one another, but I wouldn’t say that I try to be too prescriptive by sorting them into boxes.

John: Craig, have you ever tried to do Myers-Briggsy on any of your characters or how they approach things?

Craig: Hell, no. Everybody goes a phase where I don’t know– Melissa’s family was super into Myers-Briggs, but I never thought that it was particularly interesting. There’s probably a character type called person who likes character types, and they get value out of this.

John: I bet there’s a large number of our listeners, or at least a sizable percentage, who really want to neatly be able to categorize things.

Craig: You can’t.

John: That’s part of their process.

Craig: You can try, but-

John: You can try.

Craig: I personally don’t think this is a good– because it’s post, it’s not pre. Writing is about creating somebody. When you are introducing characters to an audience or a new relationship and a story to an audience, they need to see the birth of it, and they need to see people discovering each other. As they discover each other, they should be changing each other. We tend to look at people when they’re in moments of change. These things are sort of this is who you are, not changed. It’s simple, and they tend to go over the same things. Really, as far as I could tell, these things exist to sell books.

John: To sell books and to do workshops to understand your coworkers and things like that.

Craig: Here’s the thing, I’m fascinated by people who aren’t like me. I’m also fascinated by people that are fundamentally not like me. It is interesting. I don’t necessarily know if the people I’ve liked the most as I’ve gone through my career have been a certain type. My guess is no, I think generally what I seem to be attracted to is intelligence. There are intelligent people in all of these. You and I are not the same personality type. Did you know that?

[laughter]

John: I did notice that. Somehow over the last 15 years, I’ve noticed that. It’s funny. Yet we do have significant degrees of overlap in terms of our desire for logic, our desire for-

Craig: Also, you’re smart. Bottom line is you’re smart. That’s what I go for. I like smart. I like smart people who are so wildly different on only scales. When I meet somebody that has my characteristics, who’s just dull, I don’t need to hang out with them.

John: There’s a thing we’re developing internally for– so we made a writer emergency pact, which is, as you get stuck in a story, ways to navigate out of a jam. A thing we’ve been working on is a version that is more character archetype-sy, but rather than being expose facto, ways of thinking about if someone has these two characteristics together, what character would have that?

What would a nurturer or explorer feel like? What kind of character is that? Useful storytelling thinking tool, but it’s not meant to be, “Oh, you have to have this exact mix of characters in order for it to work properly.”

Mike: To what end do you think D&D character classifications?

John: I feel like I am constantly referring to characters as chaotic neutral. The alignment charts, yes.

Craig: Alignment charts are fun, but again, post-facto fun in and of themselves, they’re pretty blunt tools. There’s also quite a bit of fuzziness between some of them.

John: Here’s where I imagine it could be useful. None of us traditionally work with a group of other writers, but I could imagine, as you’re having a conversation about a character or a new character you’re introducing, how it fits together, rather than trying to apply an exact label to them, look at some of the spectrums that they lay out there. To what degree are they introverted or extroverted? To what degree are they rebelling against external expectations, or are they intrinsically motivated to do certain things? How agreeable are they? To what degree do they want to challenge authority? Those are useful conversations to have, but rather than reduce them to one little label, I think you’re probably better off.

Mike: Yes, that’s right.

John: Cool. Let’s answer some listener questions. What does Julia in Oxfordshire ask us?

Drew: I’m a novelist who teaches creative writing. I would be interested in your views on what someone with IP, like a popular novel, should look out for when people start circling. What’s the ideal journey from page to screen, and what’s the nightmare?

John: I’ve had a couple of adventures with adapting books, or you’re dealing with a property that’s becoming popular. I’ve had good experiences and bad experiences with authors in that situation. I won’t talk about the bad experiences. My Arlo Finch books came out at the same time that Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi came out. It’s been interesting watching that development cycle because that came out in 2017, and the first movie version has only coming out next year or 2027. It’s like a 10-year journey.

Looking through the number of times it got set up and then fell apart and then got going again, as the author, I used to say, you just cannot know when a thing is actually going to happen, when it’s all going to come together. Mike, you bought this woman’s book, optioned this woman’s book, and it took years. At no point did it seem like a certainty that it would ever actually make it to the screen, even two years out or a year and a half out.

I would say that talking with authors whose books have been optioned or purchased for adaptation, you have to treat it as this will probably never happen and make peace with that. You won’t have the kind of control over it that you do over your own book. It’s just like your kid is going off to college, and it’s just going to become its own thing.

Mike: Yes. I think a lot of authors have really challenging relationships with the eventual product, and so many other times. Some of the greatest books of the last 10 years, books that maybe in a different era would have readily been ripe for assassination or-

Craig: Wow.

John: For assassination. [unintelligible 00:52:50]

Mike: -for adaptation. I recently went on a big Barbara Kingsolver kick over this past year, and reading books like The Poisonwood Bible or Demon Copperhead where you’re just like, these are some of the best books of all time. Why hasn’t this been made as– You weren’t the first person who ever thought of doing it. It’s hard to get things made. Yes. It’s just really, really, really difficult.

John: I would encourage Julia Nostrachir, if someone’s circling your book, you might think, “Oh, a director would be fantastic.” Directors attach themselves to 19,000 things, and none of them ever happen. If a Mike Makowsky approaches you, who’s a writer who’s obsessive, who can actually do the thing, it’s generally a better choice.

Mike: I tend to classify myself more as compulsive than obsessive.

John: I’m sorry about that, yes.

[laughter]

Craig: Well done, sir.

John: I don’t want to mislabel you or put you on the wrong side.

Mike: Yes. If I call you, please say yes. I agree.

John: Let’s answer one more question. Oh, here’s one from Marco about writing with a bad back. Craig, you may have an opinion about that.

Drew: I remember you mentioning back injections for pain. I’m turning 50 and right when things are finally starting to go well career-wise, my back decided to revolt. I can barely sit for more than 5 to 10 minutes without serious pain. The price of 15 plus years glued to a chair, I guess. I have scoliosis, facet joint arthritis, mild anterior-

Craig: Anterolisthesis.

Drew: There we go. Oh, boy. A couple of disc protrusions, probably the usual writer’s cocktail. Surgeons say it’s not bad enough for surgery, so I’m stuck in this frustrating in-between zone where something could be done, but hard to figure out what. Did you ever find something that actually helped? Do you have specific physio or exercises, or a special chair? Any professional tips would be a lifesaver.

John: Pretty sure many of the Scriptnotes audience might be in the same boat. Craig, you and I were talking about this just backstage right before the curtain opened at our live show, and you were about to get another injection. Did that happen? Did it help?

Craig: I had to make the appointment, but I’m going to be having it when I’m back home right after Christmas, right before New Year’s. In between Christmas and New Year’s, that’s back injection season. It’s going to be lovely. First of all, Marco, I certainly sympathize with you. Yes, you’re in your 50s, and yes, this is how it’s going, and you already had issues. Scoliosis has been there almost certainly since you were a kid and just gets worse over time.

Anterolisthesis is not fun, and any arthritis anywhere in your back, and disc protrusions, that’s really the worst of it because that starts to push on the nerves all around. That’s what the pain is. The pain is nerves. It’s not bones. It’s not the rest of it. It’s the nerves. Yes, physical therapy can help. There are some stretches that I do every morning that seem to help. I would not suggest you do those because those are for what I have, which is spinal stenosis and [unintelligible 00:55:35] and I don’t know what stretches would be good for you, but I think physical therapy, it could help.

Pretty much every single back doctor in the world suggests that you strengthen your core muscles, which I would do if I had them, but I’m pretty sure that my abs have actually dissolved. I don’t think I have abdominal muscles. [laughs] I basically don’t have a butt muscle or an abdominal muscle, and those are the muscles that they want you to strengthen, your glutes and your abs. That is something that they will always recommend.

I do use an Aeron myself, and it works very nicely for me. My body conforms to it, and it feels good. The special chair you should use is the one that makes you feel the least pain. Back surgery is a nightmare. If you can avoid that, I would avoid it. PT, for sure. Strengthen the ab, core, and butt, and find a chair that is okay. If you need to sit up in bed and write a bed, you write in bed. What can you do?

John: A friend of mine with back issues swears by peripheral nerve stimulator implants. Basically, once a year, they implant a little thing that basically keeps stimulating those nerves until your nerves just go like, “Oh, well, this must be normal. There’s actually not a problem,” but it’s a hassle to do, and you can’t get your back wet for a while, and things like that. There are other alternatives.

I would just encourage, and Craig, I want your opinion on this too, for Marco, this person says it’s not bad enough for surgery. That shouldn’t be the last person you go to. That shouldn’t be the last word on things. There may be other solutions out there. Don’t assume that you have to live in pain.

Craig: Well, as we get older, we will all be living in pain. Pain’s coming. You hear that, Makowsky? It’s coming.

Mike: Oh, no.

Craig: There are levels, of course, and there are remediations. The other thing that they sometimes will mess around with is radio frequency ablation, where they use radio waves to fry the nerve tips. It didn’t work for me, but some people have gotten relief from that. I don’t know where you live, Marco, but in Los Angeles, Cedar-Sinai has a pain center. That’s where I go, and it is a building full of doctors that are there to deal with pain.

The good news is that they have never suggested to me that the answer is opioids. Don’t worry about that. They’re not going to turn you into a junkie, but they really do concentrate on how to alleviate pain and to get to the root of it. It’s been good for me. I get basically two of these shots a year, and they work pretty well.

John: Let’s do our one cool thing. Craig, your one cool thing looks like it’s related to opioids.

Craig: It is. Opioids on my mind. I’m here in Vancouver. The guys here on the podcast who see me on my Zoom thing can see lovely gray slate rainy Vancouver behind me.

John: I want to say yes.

Craig: That is standard. Vancouver is a fantastic city. It has a brutal opioid problem. Anybody who lives or works here in Vancouver knows that there are about, I don’t know, six, seven straight blocks of East Hastings that are populated almost exclusively by people who are using drugs and primarily fentanyl and also now some sort of tranquilizer thing, like another veterinary tranquilizer. It’s bad.

The fentanyl epidemic is at this point just become the problem everywhere. There is an effort now to create a vaccine. You guys have probably heard of Narcan, which is naloxone, the thing you spray– Oh, you’re at a party. You see somebody go, and they thought they were injecting heroin. It was fentanyl. They’re dying. You spray this in their nose. It blocks all of the opioid receptors in the body and can help keep them from their central nervous system plummeting to zero. The issue, of course, is that has to be administered after the fact.

What they’re working on now is they call it a vaccine. It’s really more of a prophylactic. The idea is they inject you with something that binds to the fentanyl molecule, but along with it has a larger chunk of protein that keeps it from crossing through the blood-brain barrier. Basically, it can’t go anywhere, so it can’t hurt you. It just runs around your bloodstream doing nothing. This would be for people who are like, “Hey, look, I do use this drug, but I don’t want fentanyl, I just want heroin, I don’t want fentanyl.” It protects you against the thing that might kill you.
There are issues that this could create.

John: I could imagine.

Craig: For instance, then people are like, “I want fentanyl, I got the fentanyl vaccine, but I really want to get high off of fentanyl. I think I’ll just take twice as much as I normally did to overwhelm this.” That is a potential danger because one thing we do know about people with substance abuse issues is that they’re incredibly persistent and clever. The other issue, of course, is if you ever did need some sort of surgical intervention or something, if your blood-brain barrier is blocked from one or more methods of anesthesia, you may have a serious problem.

It does feel like, given how bad it is out there, something like this might be a good mitigation solution. It’s a very interesting thought because we do– Here’s what we absolutely know, telling people to not use opioids does not work. That is useless. We know that for a fact. Let’s see, maybe the fentanyl “vaccine” will gain some traction.

John: Great. Mike, do you have one cool thing to share?

Mike: Yes. In adapting this true story from the Annals of American History and then trying to make a show that appeals to more than just the 2% of people that would pick up a book about James Garfield, but also to the other 98% of people who are quite certain at the outset that they do not care about James Garfield and making a show with a little bit more of a modern engine behind it. There are a handful of other shows and films that have done it well, a small handful, one of which is a show called The Good Lord Bird from 2020.

It’s so good. It’s based on this incredible James McBride book, and it’s about John Brown, the abolitionist in his reign on Harpers Ferry in 1859 that, in many ways, precedes the Civil War. It’s adapted by Ethan Hawke, who plays John Brown and Mark Rashard. It’s so funny and weird and incredible. It’s one of the best adaptations that I’ve seen in a really, really long time, and I think very much is of a piece with Death by Lightning, hopefully. It’s just a show that I thought was really, really remarkable and that I wish more people still talked about because it’s great.

Craig: The Good Lord Bird?

Mike: Yes. It’s on Showtime in 2020, which was probably one of the reasons.

John: It’s probably Paramount+, I would suspect.

Mike: That’s a great question. I don’t know. I hope it’s available somewhere.

Craig: Let’s do a quick Good Lord Bird. Let’s do a little quick live Google. Good Lord Bird-

John: It looks like it’s on Prime, but I don’t know.

Mike: It’s really, really great. Would recommend it to anybody that likes my show and would want to do another historical deep dive. It’s very different from what you would expect it to be. It is rollicking and funny and strange.

Craig: Looks like it’s on Apple TV, and that’s about that. Oh, no, I see Prime Video. Yes. I think you got Amazon or Apple TV, both of which will be purchased by Netflix Warner Brothers within days.

Mike: Ethan Hawke is so, so good on the show, and Daveed Diggs is there. He plays Frederick Douglass.

John: That’s great. Again, that was peak TV, and so much was being made, it was so hard to just find an audience for anything, especially if it wasn’t on HBO or Netflix, even Netflix stuff disappeared. My one cool thing is a show that was made for Canada, made for Crave TV, is now available in the US on HBO Max called Heated Rivalry. Gay people know what I’m talking about because every gay person is obsessed with the show.

Craig: Every gay person.

John: Every gay person in Los Angeles or New York City. Basically, everyone on my Instagram knows about Heated Rivalry. What I admire so much about the show so it’s based on a book by Rachel Reed, and it’s created, produced, and directed by Jacob Tierney, who I want to get on the show at some point. The show is about professional hockey, and so it’s these two hockey players and their romance between them.

What is remarkable about it is, remember, Craig, we had Rachel Bloom on the show talking about sex on screen, and sort of like why we’re not seeing good sex on screen, and the show does it and delivers it in a really good way. There are sex scenes that are actually narratively important, really well shot, and story happens during sex scenes, which you just don’t see. It’s not just like a little bonus you put on there, it’s like, no, it’s like the sex is the point and the story purposes are happening during it. Just incredibly well made. Don’t watch it with your family, don’t watch it with your kids. [laughter]

Craig: Don’t watch it on a plane.

John: Don’t watch it on a plane. It is unapologetically smutty in a great way. I just really respect that they were able to make this show and put it out there in the world. Heated Rivalry.

Mike: Where is it?

John: It’s HBO Max in the US, and it’s just really, really well done.

Craig: Yes, so Crave is the HBO output channel up here in Canada, so typically it’s HBO shipping things to Crave, but I like that Crave is shipping something back.

John: Yes. It’s shot in Toronto, but set in many places around the world. Clearly, it made smart choices in pulling in the horniness of Challengers, the tennis show, but it’s actually making that subtext text and really nicely done. Great. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Luke Foster. If you’ve an outro, send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com.

That’s also the place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. You’ll find transcripts at johnaugust.com along with a signup for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which is lots of links to things about writing. You’ll find clips and other helpful video on our YouTube. Just search for Scriptnotes and give us a follow. You’ll also find us on Instagram at Scriptnotes Podcast. Please keep sending through those posts about the Scriptnotes book. Those are delightful. We’ll continue to repost those.

We have T-shirts, and hoodies, and drinkwear. They’re perfect for the holiday season. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau. You’ll find the show notes with the links to all the things we talked about today in the email you get each week as a premium subscriber. Thank you again to all our premium subscribers. You make it possible for us to do this each and every week. You also get the first emails about live shows and other stuff that’s coming up.

You can sign up to become a premium subscriber at scriptnotes.net. You get all those back episodes and bonus segments. You get Mike’s episode from 2020. You get the Rachel Bloom sex episode, all those things, and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on coaching trees as sort of the growth of one show leads to showrunners of other shows. We’ll talk about that after the music. Mike Makowsky, thank you so much for coming back on the show.

Mike: Thank you, guys, so much for having me. It was a blast.

Craig: Thanks, Mike.

[Bonus Segment]

John: All right. This topic came from a listener, Rob G., who sent us in this article by Alan Sepinwall, who was writing for The Ringer, on which TV show has the best coaching tree. Here’s the setup. Football fans often talk about coaching trees, how so many currently successful NFL coaches used to work for Mike Shanahan, or how Bill Parcells at various points in his career employed Bill Belichick, Sean Payton, Tom Coughlin. I see you shrugging like you don’t follow football.

Mike: I don’t know who any of these people are.

Craig: John knows all of them.

John: I’m impressed I was able to pronounce these names.

Craig: The only thing John knows about sports are the names of those two guys in that hockey show.

John: Oh, really? [laughter] Hollander and Ilya.

Craig: There you go.

John: There you go. Absolutely. There are also TV coaching trees where producers or shows bring together many writers and directors who go on to have these amazing careers and, in some cases, create their own coaching trees. I’ll talk you through some of the ones they sort out, but then I also want to discuss why this may happen. The first one is The White Shadow, which I don’t really remember. Ken Howards.

Craig: I love that show.

John: John Falsey, and Joshua Brand, Mark Tinker, Thomas Carter, Tim Van Patten, Kevin Hooks all came out of that.

Mike: Well, Tim was an actor on the show.

Craig: He played Baloney. What was it? Oh, Salami. It was Salami. That was his name. Not Baloney.

John: Ken Howard is an actor. [crosstalk]

Craig: The former president of SAG.

John: SAG. He was Hank Cooper on 30 Rock. 30 Rock’s so good. Great.

Mike: He died a few years ago. When I first moved out to LA, I didn’t really know anyone, but my dad and stepmom were doing this dog charity that he and his wife were really passionate about. I got dinner with Ken Howard, and we really hit it off. He was the first person I ever met in the industry. He saw me as, I don’t know, someone that he would say [unintelligible 01:09:11] sure. Then he died three years into me living in LA.

My parents had a holiday party that year, and his widow comes to the holiday party, and she gives me this box. She’s like, “Put this in a safe place and open it tomorrow.” I was like, “Okay.” I was a little drunk. I was like, “Yes, thank you. It’s so good to see you, Linda.” The next morning, I open it up, and it’s this translucent blue and orange paperweight. I’m like, “Oh, that’s so nice from Linda Howard.” I’m like, “I’ll put this,” I don’t know.

Underneath it, there’s this note being like, “I just wanted you to know that Ken thought the world of you, so it seems only right that you would have a piece of him.” I have one-twelfth of Ken Howard’s ashes on my desk. The paperweights, it’s a company called Artful Ashes, and it’s the white shadow colors. They purposely did the white shadow colors. I see Ken every day. He’s my roommate. Isn’t that wild?

Craig: I’m thinking about who is going to get a little piece of me.

John: My instincts as well.

Craig: By the way, we now, both of us, have to send a little bit of our ashes to Mike Makowsky. He needs [crosstalk] weird collection.

[crosstalk]

Mike: My stepmom’s mother, who I was also really close with, died, and she was so inspired that she then contacted Artful Ashes, so I also have one-twelfth of Jan, and they live next– I’m collecting infinity stones, essentially.

Craig: Unfortunately, when you die, someone’s going to have to get all of your dead other people.

John: Wow.

Mike: That’s my Ken Howard story. That’s an incredible Ken Howard story. Whenever the white shadow comes up, obviously, I need to tell that story. He was such a great human being.

Craig: That’s awesome.

John: Let’s talk about that because it sounds like he was a great human being who also cared about the next generation. That’s partly what the coaching trees things were talking about. It’s like people who were apparently– they not only ran really great shows, but people developed underneath them who could take those lessons and do their own things. The Golden Girls, obviously, ran for a long time, was an accommodate institution. Mitch Hurwitz, Mark Cherry, Christopher Lloyd, all came from that. Christopher Lloyd went on to do Modern Family. Nash Bridges, Damon Lindelof, Sean Ryan, Glenn Mazzara.

Mike: Was Carlton [Cuse] on-

Craig: I believe he was.

John: I feel like they met on that.

Craig: I think that’s where he took Damon under his wing.

John: X-Files, Howard Gordon, Vince Gilligan, Frank Spotnitz, Tim Minear, Darin Morgan.

Craig: Wow. Look at this.

John: Incredible. When you get to The Office, of course, we’ve had Mike Schur on the show, but Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak, but also Paul Lieberstein, Justin Spitzer, Lee Eisenberg, and Gene Stupnitsky. Incredible writers who all went off and ran things.

Craig: Your show of shows.

John: Your show of shows.

Craig: That’s the immediate thing I thought of, and it is number one on this list. This was their stacked writing staff. Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Neil Simon, Larry Gelbart, and Woody Allen. What the hell? There’s a really interesting book about them that’s called Madness on Something Floors. It was just like the story of what that place was like with those guys when they were all, I guess, in their 20s and 30s. Neil Simon alone. Incredible.

John: The article also talks about Roseanne was not a happy place to be working, but obviously, amazing people came through there. Josh Weed, Amy Sherman-Paladino, Chuck Lorre, Norm MacDonald, Dana Jacobson, Bruce Helford. A difference, though, is that these are shows that most of these are– they ran 22 episodes per season. They had large writing staffs. There was a lot of you’re at that a lot, and so you got a lot of chance to just do stuff, and that helps you develop your craft and your career. Shows where you’re writing eight episodes, there’s just going to be less opportunity to learn from all that stuff.

Craig: Or a show like the one that Mike does where there’s nobody. Nobody learns. By the way, that’s my- [crosstalk]

John: Nobody learns. Chernobyl.

Craig: Exactly. Yes. Nobody learns, but it is interesting to look at how many shows there have been that were in this model. Quite a few shows now, even though maybe they’re not doing 22 episodes, maybe they do fewer. I’m thinking of shows like Hacks or something. There are still people on staff who are learning and growing.

John: They will [inaudible 01:13:57] it.

Craig: What it really comes down to, I think, is who’s running it and how good are they at picking talent? The people who were running these shows, Sid Caesar had choices. He was like, “All right, out of all the people I could hire, I like these people.” 100% accuracy on that. You have to look at the folks that were running White Shadow or Sopranos, David Chase. These guys had been around with some of these other people in other rooms before, but they knew, okay, I’ve been on a bunch of shows. I now have my chance to write my show. I’m taking this one, this one, this one, this one. Then those people are like, “Ooh, and you should take this one and this one.” The coaching tree is really a taste tree, I think.

John: Yes, I think that’s crucial. Thinking back to our guests, Abbott Elementary. We had Quinta Brunson on. We also had Brittani Nichols on, who’s grown season by season by season. She’s now an EP on the show. Five years from now, as we’re looking at this list, there’s going to be a ton of writers who’ve come out of Abbott Elementary who are controlling this business. It’s thanks to end the show on some happy news that sometimes things grow and change, and develop because people are good and they make good things.

Craig: Then you die, your ashes go into a chunk of Lucite, and it is sent to a guy.

Mike: To me. I will take your ashes.

John: You’ll take your ashes. On the future side, there’s less of this because you don’t have a chance to develop a staff. I would hope that I’ve had a very good run of assistants who’ve gone on to do amazing things and grown their own places. Rawson, and Dana, and Chad, and Stuart, and Drew, and Megan McDonald, and Megan– everyone’s gone off and killed in industry, which has been nice, too. That’s also a testament to you.

Craig: I’m sure you have great taste in picking assistants. You’re really good at this. As a recipient of this, I do have to acknowledge David Zucker, who taught me a lot, and Todd Phillips, who taught me a lot. Both of those guys didn’t need to include me to the extent that they did in the process of directing feature films, but they did. Without that, I would not– Those are essential things that I learned about filmmaking and writing and all of it.

John: Cool. Mike Makowsky, thank you again for being on our show.

Craig: Thanks, Mike.

Mike: Thank you, guys, so much.

Craig: Thanks.

Links:

  • Death by Lightning on Netflix
  • Mike Makowsky on IMDb and Instagram
  • Episode 448 (The last time Mike was on the podcast)
  • Which TV Show Has the Best Coaching Tree? Alan Sepinwall for The Ringer
  • Size matters: a single representation underlies our perceptions of heaviness in the size-weight illusion
  • New evidence for the sensorimotor mismatch theory of weight perception and the size-weight illusion
  • Friedman Personnel Agency
  • Destiny of the Republic by Candice Millard
  • The Ballad of Guiteau from Assassins
  • The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin
  • Writer’s Guide to Character Traits by Linda Edelstein
  • A Fentanyl Vaccine Is About to Get Its First Major Test by Emily Mullin for WIRED
  • Heated Rivalry on HBO Max
  • The Good Lord Bird
  • Get your copy of the Scriptnotes book!
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Become a Scriptnotes Premium member, or gift a subscription (now with fewer emails!)
  • Subscribe to Scriptnotes on YouTube
  • Scriptnotes on Instagram
  • John August on Bluesky and Instagram
  • Outro by Luke Foster (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

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