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Scriptnotes, Episode 666: Satanic Movies, Transcript

November 27, 2024 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to episode 666 of Scriptnotes a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to Satan.

Craig: We will eat your soul.

John: Probably not, but today on the show it is a deep dive into the unholy trinity of films that established the genre of movies about Satanism. We are going to discuss how we got here how these films work and the future of the devil on screen.

Craig: The future of Satan. It’s like the worst deadline article ever.

John: Absolutely.

Craig: Like Satan ankles hell.

John: Totally. 100%. Our bonus segment, we’re premium members. We will pontificate on our best candidates for the Antichrist.

Craig: Oh.

John: Yes. Who would it be? Who should it be?

Craig: Think of a couple of people.

John: I can think of a few. Let’s start off by talking about Satan. We don’t talk about Satan very much, Craig, at all. I don’t think we ever even discuss him.

Craig: Weirdly, it doesn’t come up.

John: It doesn’t come up that much.

Craig: I know that some people in certain parts of our country probably presume that here in Hollywood, we talk about Satan all the time. While we’re drinking the blood of children or whatever it is that they think we do, when in fact, mostly what we do are things like, figure out why there are all these fingerprints on the refrigerator door and take the dog out for a walk. So it doesn’t come up.

John: Quotidian life just doesn’t involve nearly as much Satan as one would guess.

Craig: Also, Satan’s not real.

John: That is true. Let’s talk about Satan, at least the modern conception of Satan. Because when we talk about Satan as an idea, I think we have an image in our head for who Satan is. Satan, in modern conception, is an individual who was thrown out of heaven-

Craig: Fallen angel.

John: -fallen angel, yes. Very, very powerful.

Craig: Yes.

John: The nemesis of God.

Craig: Right, so Satan occupies a very difficult narrative space because he is the antagonist in the Bible, or if you– the Old Testament doesn’t really talk much about Satan, but–

John: Also, we’ll get into that, the New Testament doesn’t really talk about it.

Craig: The church love to talk about Satan. They set up Satan as this rival. Then when you get into Revelations, and then here’s the narrative problem for Satan: Currently, the theory is he’s down there in hell, ruling over a lake of fire, where people burn for eternity but he’s going to come back through his form as the Antichrist or I guess that’s his avatar.

John: Yes, that’s one of the ways he could do it. He could be the equivalent of Jesus where he’s like is incarnate through the Antichrist.

Craig: Yes, he creates his Satan incarnate and son of Satan, whatever you want to call it. And that brings him back to earth where he gets into a huge battle with God and Jesus and all of God’s forces and it’s an actual battle that takes place in a place called Armageddon, I believe, or it’s Megiddo and it becomes Armageddon something, and Satan loses.

Now the narrative part here, that’s rough for Satan, said apparently he knows he loses. It’s already like. What’s he getting ready for? That big fight that he’s going to lose one day?

John: I would say often in our cinematic stories we have heroes who know they’re going to lose and yet they carry on the valiant fight anyway.

Craig: The heroes do.

John: The villains–

Craig: The villains never do.

John: Well, you know what? We’ve just had Wicked. We’ve just reformed the Wicked Witch of the West.

Craig: Yes, but that’s not–

John: That’s not what we’re talking about here.

Craig: No. This devil, this Satan doesn’t seem to be– he’s like he missed those pages. I assume everybody else has read it and then no one wants to tell him. It’s a preordained loss. That’s Satan for you.

John: We also have like the South Park incarnation of Satan, which is basically packaging up all these things and then making him a sad, lonely figure.

Craig: Also a musical theater figure, which is like the best.

John: Absolutely the best.

Craig: Yes, he just wants love.

John: Importantly, we should say that our modern conception of Satanism, and really Satan, is that there are cults who are there who are trying to bring about the end times, hell on earth. He has his minions on earth, which is, without that, there’s really no story to tell.

Craig: Satan is constantly using us to try and get his way and there are the versions where we never actually meet Satan. There are versions where we do, so for instance in Constantine, we meet Lucifer and he’s quite annoyed actually that his son is trying to get back because his son is going to take over his throne or something. Then there are versions where Satan is walking around among us and just by lying and manipulating gets us to just be evil and that would be The Devil’s Advocate where, “I’m a fan of man.” God is an absentee landlord. That is a great line.

John: It’s a great line.

Craig: Yes, it’s a great line.

John: Let’s go back into the roots of Satan and Satanism. This idea of an existential cosmic evil makes sense. It’s always sort of been there and so there’s always been some embodiment, some agent behind misfortune, it’s useful to believe that. It’s useful to believe that there’s some force that created the universe, some fatherly figure or motherly figure who is shepherding us all, but also that there’s a villain out there who is responsible for all the bad things that happen to us. You see that across all ancient mythologies.

Craig: Absolutely. Nyx was the Greek goddess of shadow, I believe, and she gave birth to a bunch of children, discord, war, disease, famine, all the baddies.

John: Then we have Hades who rules over the underworld, so the idea of like ruling over the land of the dead, you sort of combine and conflate these things.

Craig: Hades is a little bit more management than the traditional Judeo-Christian sower of evil. In American tradition, because we go all the way back to our Puritans who came over and Puritans, a lot of people think the Puritans left England because the English wouldn’t let them be freely religious. The problem was that Puritans were too religious. The discrimination was, “You guys are way too religious.” They were like, “Well, we want to be as insanely religious as we want.”

John: As hardcore as we want.

Craig: As hardcore as we want. “We’re going to go.” They really, really had a thing about Satan. They were very much convinced that he walks around. Today we indeed have churches who refer to Satan all the time.

John: Go back to the ancient roots of things too. You have, other religions like Zoroastrianism, had the sense of there’s an evil, there’s a balancing force of evil that’s out there. The idea of a duality between the good and the bad makes sense. You can understand why it’s naturally there. When you have a monotheistic religion like our Abrahamic traditions, it’s understandable that they would feel like, okay, well, what’s the counterbalancing force there?

Craig: Especially if you start to organize yourself, then you need something to scare people with. Jesus was like, “Here’s all this wonderful positive stuff. It’s really difficult to do. You have to be poor, you have to put everybody else first, you have to allow them to hit you and not hit back.” And everybody that came after him was like, “Great. Also, you have to give the church your money and you have to follow our rules or you will be sent to hell. If we don’t like you and you’re saying things we don’t enjoy, like for instance, the earth revolves around the sun, for instance-

John: Yes, heresy.

Craig: -clearly, Satan is working through you.” That’s a nice way to dehumanize somebody and burn them alive.

John: Yes, it’s good. Now, before we get to Christianity, we of course have Judaism, and we have the Old Testament, and we have all the other things that didn’t make it into the official Old Testament. Going back to your Bar Mitzvah days.

Craig: My Hebrew school days.

John: Your Hebrew school days. There’s not a lot of Satan there. There’s the idea of a Satan, which is any sort of adversary, it’s like an obstacle there, and they would use Satan as a verb, like to oppose. It’s not the same thing.

Craig: It was not a thing. I remember asking my rabbi about it because we grew up, everybody watches cartoons, you see the red devil with the pitchfork. Why a pitchfork? I don’t know.

John: Actually pulled from Poseidon is what they’re thinking.

Craig: Maybe. I don’t know why.

John: Maybe the trident of Poseidon.

Craig: Barbed tail, not sure why. I remember him saying, “We don’t even really have a hell.” There’s like a theory of a place you go if you’re really really bad, where it’s just like cold and empty and it’s a wasteland and you’re lonely. We didn’t have that personified guy, the guy who sits there and laughs as you burn and burn and burn, it was just more like, you’re going to be disconnected from other people and you’ll be miserable. Which is enough for me.

John: Yes, we had bad people and bad forces in the Old Testament. The snake in the Garden of Eden is often matched up to Satan, but there’s no direct connection there.

Craig: No, that was– he was not. Yes, it was just more temptation.

John: Temptation. Throughout the Middle Ages, you don’t see a lot of the devil, you don’t see a lot of Satan. If you see him it’s as a comic character, like a pathetic character, and just the same way we have a devil versus the Devil, it’s sort of a blurry line between the two of them. Book of Revelations, you mentioned before, is where we first start to really get into this notion of this capital S Satan of Armageddon. He’s this big third-act villain. It’s important to sort of put the Book of Revelations in context because I think the movies we’re going to be talking about will reference it.

Craig: All the time. It’s the worst book.

John: It is referring to specifically the Roman Empire, which it was written in. Even 666 is actually probably referenced to Nero rather than to any other sort of thing.

Craig: Likely was written by somebody who was mentally ill. It has all the hallmarks of somebody who experiences schizophrenic breaks, is hallucinatory, or I don’t know, it was John of something who was writing Revelations. Maybe that he was just snacking on shrooms because it sure feels shroomy to me. It feels altered. The imagery does correspond a lot to the way people experience hallucinatory images when they take drugs. It’s an incredibly unreliable book, even more so than all the other ones that are also ridiculous in their own way.

John: One of the things that’s different is though, like the rest of the Bible is a history and this is a prognostication of things to come.

Craig: It’s not gospel. A bunch of people kept telling the same story about what happened with Jesus and disagreed slightly from time to time.

John: Sure. That’s why you have four copies.

Craig: Then this guy was like, “Yes, yes, great.”

John: Let’s say what’s going to come.

Craig: I’ve seen, yes, I see the whore of Babylon.

John: He’s mapping out the future seasons.

Craig: Then she’s riding with a host of lions screaming and I’m like, “Get off the drugs, buddy.”

John: Early modern church starts to personify in the season. It’s increasingly powerful. It’s really with John Calvin, Martin Luther. It’s less of a metaphor of like, of temptation or wickedness, but actually an individual. Then of course we have John Milton’s Paradise Lost, which is sort of mapping that out. It’s important to understand Paradise Lost is literature. It’s not actually canonical Bible anything.

Craig: No. It’s a story. Calvin was definitely– Look, here in the United States, we’re all still living in the shadow of John Calvin and his crazy ideas.

John: Yes. 2013, a YouGov poll found that 57% of Americans believe in the literal devil compared to 18% of British people, which is just such a shocking difference.

Craig: The answer is again, Britain said, “Go away.”

John: That’s true.

Craig: “Leave. Please leave. Stop saying things like babies are evil because they were simply predetermined to be predestined to be evil. Stop it. Just go. Go away.” I’m not surprised. I’m fascinated by the 18% of British people who are like, “Yeah, I do believe the devil is real.” It seems like such an unpopular thing to talk about in the UK.

John: Also, the British people are also living in popular culture. They’re living in a global popular culture that’s often dominated by American stuff. They’re seeing the three movies we’re going to be talking about.

Craig: True.

John: It’s possible that that’s the influence.

Craig: They’re movies.

John: They are movies.

Craig: They’re movies.

John: Milton’s Paradise Lost is a book.

Craig: I know. I know. Ghostbusters also is a movie. Do you think more Americans believe in– It seems like more Americans probably believe in angels than in Satan.

John: Probably so. I want the polls. I want the polls. People love angels.

Craig: People love angels.

John: They love angels. They love ghosts.

Craig: They do.

John: They do.

Craig: It’s like the idea of children flitting around on wings, just saving them from stuff or I don’t know, making sure Starbucks opens up on time, whatever people pray for.

John: It’s a lot. I think we also, as we get into this, there’s a weird connection to the Catholic church and the Catholic church, not that the modern Catholic church has done a lot of talking about Satan or Satanism, but I think there’s some sense in like the Catholic church being organized and like that it’s a secret conspiracy that they’re hiding from you. The movies we’re going to be talking about often have Catholic priests who are, “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but–“

Craig: Yes. What we find when we’re telling this story is that the Catholic church is incredibly useful if you’re a screenwriter because A, it is powerful and it is wealthy. Also, it’s the oldest of the traditions, particularly in the United States. It feels like it goes back to the beginning. The Holy Roman Empire essentially was Catholic. That was what it was. They speak Latin. It has this ancient vibe. It’s almost like they’re as old as the devil himself. Therefore, we need to go into these old scrolls and talk about these things that only the Catholic priests would have access to.

John: I wonder if there’s also an aspect of racism there because you look at the Protestant foundations of the United States and the Puritans and all this stuff, and you had this influx of immigrants who were largely bringing in Catholic traditions, which were also Christian, but not the same kind of Christian. It’s a way of differentiating. We obviously have anti-Catholic leagues. We have this sense of anti-Catholicism. I wonder if some of that gets folded into why we’re thinking about them as being involved with all this.

Craig: Yes. There could be some catholiphobia going on there. I’m not sure it’s racism, per se, because in the United States, there was tremendous fear of white Catholics. John Kennedy, the big thing about him was like, no one’s going to vote for a Catholic. As if that were a thing, it used to be.

What’s interesting is that in our country, we’re predominantly not a Catholic country. Satan is talked about constantly in our Protestant churches, in our Southern Baptist churches. Satan is a massive thing. It’s sort of their big selling point, and yet it feels like a different Satan than the Catholic Satan, which is like older, creepier, more in the shadows. The Protestant Satan comes up to you and offers you a weed.

John: Yes, absolutely. Before we get into our actual movies, let’s talk about the Antichrist because that’s a thing that’s sort of come up in, I think, all three of these, which is the Antichrist is mentioned four times in the New Testament as sort of a false prophet to take the role of Jesus. Again, it’s sort of like a lowercase antichrist, it’s not sort of an individual, it’s like sort of anybody who’s standing in the way of the prophecy of Jesus. According to my Wikipedia research, the first big reference to all this is 400 CE, which is Martin of Tours saying, “There is no doubt that the Antichrist, has already been born, firmly established already in his early years. He will, after reaching maturity, achieve supreme power.”

Craig: I think it was a running theme. Every generation is like, “This is it.”

John: This is it. It’s always the end times.

Craig: There has to be a term for generational narcissism. Maybe that is the term.

John: Sure.

Craig: We always think that we’re the ones living at the end of the world or in end times because we’re the special ones. No, we’re not. Ever.

John: Ever. And yet, even as we’re saying this, it does feel like it.

Craig: Yes, like probably it is happening.

John: All right. Before we get into our movies, because we’re going to focus on three movies and obviously they’re not the first movies or only movies to talk about Satan or Satanism, we should talk first about Faust, because right from the start of cinema, there were a bunch of movies about Faust. Let’s talk about the Faust story, which is really the devil’s bargain. It’s the idea of a pact with the devil.

Craig: Selling your soul becomes this big thing. The soul itself, the concept of the soul is a very murky one that, at least in Christianity, it’s murky until it becomes part of this bargain story where it’s now this thing you can give away. Again, it’s one of those stories where everyone knows the ending and yet somehow people keep falling for it over and over and over.

This goes to even in the American Black tradition, blues. it was always, thought like this blues man sells his soul to the devil and so that he could play this well. I’m like, but you know how that’s going to end and then lo and behold, you get movies like Angel Heart where it’s how it ends. Every time.

John: Every time.

Craig: Every single time. No matter what. I can’t understand why anyone makes that deal.

John: No.

Craig: Bad deal.

John: Bad deal. Bad deal.

Craig: Totally.

John: We can understand where that story comes from because if you look back at like Rumpelstiltskin or sort of the classic fable myth kind of things, there’s that sense of like, we’re going to make a deal and that person is going to come collect on that deal. Always there.

Craig: Well, what’s interesting is like the Rumpelstiltskin story is a good devil’s bargain story, except in the end he loses. That story is sort of like, this guy took advantage of this poor woman who wanted a child and made the deal and she spun the straw into gold and — oh, that was it, because she just wanted to stay alive.

John: How dare she.

Craig: Right? He lets her turn straw into gold, but his price is, “I’m going to take your baby,” which is crazy. Also, what are you going to do with it? Then she figures out a way to beat him. The whole point of the devil’s story is you lose, every time.

John: That is a whole different class of devil stories. For this episode, I really want to talk about the Satan that is Satanism and how that all fits together.

Craig: I need a chorus going while we talk. [hums] There’s always a chorus. [hums]

John: Latin, you couldn’t understand, but it’s just creepy because it’s there.

Craig: Exactly.

John: The three movies I want to talk about are Rosemary’s Baby from 1968.

Craig: So good.

John: The Exorcist from 1973.

Craig: My favorite.

John: And The Omen from 1976.

Craig: Also a movie.

John: Also a movie. The commonalities, I should say, we’re going to put links to the scripts we found for these three things. You can take a look through those. One thing I’m struck by is they’re all about the horror of parenthood. It’s interesting that our window into these stories of Satanism and satanic cults is about parenthood, which is specific. I guess there’s an aspect of like Antichrist being born. Parents are just a natural thing. If you were to even take out the Satanism of it all, they’re all unified about stories of how scary it is to be a parent.

Craig: Even though they shift gears and sort of concentrate on the father in The Omen, they are all about the conception and then how to deal with the fact that this symbol of innocence, a child, is in fact evil. That contrast is horrifying to us. Even though in Rosemary’s Baby, there is no child until the very, very end and you never get to see him. But, “he has his father’s eyes.”

John: He does.

Craig: It is the year one.

John: We’re starting in 1968, which I’m going to count as the ‘70s because it’s really more– By that point, we’re in the ‘70s.

Craig: It’s ‘70s vibe.

John: Let’s talk about the ‘70s vibe because looking at these movies, they do feel like they’re responding to a thing that’s happening in American culture. We’re starting to realize like, oh, the year 2000 is not that far off. That feels like a marker. That millennial change feels like, oh, 2000 years ago, we had Christ being born, and so there’s that aspect. We have Ouija boards. We have that sense of like, there’s a spiritual outside world there that feels different. We have changing social structures. We have the women’s liberation movement. It’s a different time, so it’s not surprising that we feel like there’s some end-of-times angst going in here. What else about the ‘70s strikes you?

Craig: Well, that was pretty much America’s low point. The late ‘60s, early ‘70s, our cities were suffused by riots, racism. Even though the Civil Rights Act had been passed, the echo of what occurred after that was violent and long and led to multiple assassinations. Presidents were being assassinated. Civil rights leaders were being assassinated. Candidates for president were being assassinated. Cities were on fire. Crime was very high, and there was a sense that America had fallen into, you remember when we were kids in the ‘70s, pollution.

There were ads that were just basically begging people to stop throwing garbage out of their car window as they drove. There were also ads that said, “It’s 10:00 PM, do you know where your children are?” What the hell was going on where parents had to be reminded by television? Maybe it was five o’clock. I can’t remember what the time was. Like, “Hey, by the way, remember? You also have kids. Find them.” Everything was falling apart, and the notion that there was some explanation to this, that there was evil in the air made sense.

You had the Night Stalker, and you had Son of Sam, and serial killers-

John: I agree, yes.

Craig: -they were always there, but I think in the ‘60s and ‘70s, we suddenly became very aware of them.

John: I think we were also aware of conspiracies and things happening behind the scenes, and we had investigative journalism that was uncovering things. The idea that there is a group of people, a cabal, who has secret plans feels like a very natural fit for the time.

Craig: Nixon.

John: Nixon, yes.

Craig: It was happening. So it feels like a smart thing to do. America was still quite religious, and also, you were starting to see shifts in the politics of motherhood. The birth control pill was available. The idea of being a mother was now difficult. People were looking–

John: The idea of choosing when to become a mother.

Craig: That’s right. Single parenthood was now– single parenthood prior to the ‘60s and ‘70s was– and you and I both remember how, even in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, Murphy Brown, the sitcom–

John: A woman who chose to have a baby by herself.

Craig: She was yelled at by a vice presidential candidate.

John: Yeah, she was the Antichrist, though. All right, let’s talk about Rosemary’s Baby. Written and directed by Roman Polanski, based on Ira Levin’s novel. I’ve not read the novel. Apparently, it’s a very faithful adaptation.

Craig: It’s a really good book.

John: Development-wise, we know that Polanski wrote a 272-page screenplay for the film in approximately three weeks. I guess it got cut down.

Craig: I’m going to go with cocaine on that one.

John: I think it’s a safe bet that some cocaine was involved. It apparently was very faithful, and it lifted dialogue and stuff directly out of the source material. In our story, we’re following Rosemary Woodhouse, who’s played by Mia Farrow, and her husband, Guy, played by John Cassavetes moving into a new apartment in New York City, they meet their neighbors, Ruth Gordon among them-

Craig: The best.

John: -iconically. It doesn’t start out being about a woman wanting to have a baby.

Craig: No.

John: Talk to us about your experience of Rosemary’s Baby.

Craig: It feels at first like a story about a little bit of a fish out of water, because Rosemary, as Mia Farrow plays her, she almost has that mid-Atlantic accent. She’s very refined, and she’s very delicate. Her husband feels urbane. She is not so much, and she’s trying to figure out how to be a good wife, and she’s trying to figure out how to fit into this world which is–

John: A young wife.

Craig: A young wife, which is very metropolitan, and there are the weirdos down the hall. It’s a pretty good start. We would never be able to get away with it now. The length of time you have to just feel the discomfort of feeling out of place. It also allows the film to zero in on her perspective. Much of the movie, you’re with her, feeling how she feels. Then some things start to go wrong.

John: Notably so, husband is an actor, so he goes off, he’s cast, and things are sort of percolating for him. She’s being left alone more, and the neighbors are starting to intercede. I didn’t go back to him when we watched this, but at what point does she have the chocolate mousse that sends her into slumber?

Craig: The mouse.

John: The mouse.

Craig: The mouse.

John: That sends her into slumber.

Craig: I think it’s middle-ish because there’s someone who dies. I can’t remember. There’s like an early death in the movie that’s very suspicious. It does strike me, we talked about agency recently, and so much of this movie is about somebody trying to find their agency, and everybody keeps taking it away. Ruth Gordon is concerned that she’s not– “Oh, you’re not feeling well, you’re not eating enough, I made this special mouse for you,” which is a mousse. Everybody then begins the gaslighting process. That is followed by one of the most terrifying sex scenes I’ve ever put on.

John: Yeah, it’s a rape.

Craig: Oh, definitely a rape. Also a monster rape. We should probably talk about Roman Polanski for a second because Roman Polanski raped a girl. He raped a child and fled the country, and has never returned. Is he still alive?

John: He’s still alive.

Craig: He’s still alive. And this town only seemed to acknowledge that recently, but even, it was like maybe 10 years ago or so, he got like an honorary Oscar or something, and everybody stood up and applauded, and you’re like, ”The hell is going on here?” Roman Polanski definitely falls into the, okay, person who did very bad things, person who made very good movies.

And that scene in particular is disturbing because it’s oddly restrained. There’s not nudity. There’s just this sudden flash of this thing. Then there’s a delirium that follows and paranoia.

John: Yes. The Satanism of the movie comes from this sense that this pregnancy that comes out of this rape, that there’s something wrong about it, that she’s not being told everything.

Again, we’re locked into a very limited POV, which is really helpful for our storytelling here. It sort of leads to the paranoia here. And yet the edges of the conspiracy are nebulous, which is actually a case with all these things. You never quite know, how big is this? Who’s behind this? Whose plan really was this? How far back did it go? I think that’s one of the hallmarks of these movies is that by being vague, they’re sort of more sinister.

Craig: Sure. The less the more scared you are. There is this entire genre of, I’ll just shorthand call lifetime movies, where a wife or a girlfriend is being gaslit by her husband. Other people join in but she’s like, “No, I know it’s–“ and then there are movies like, was it Flightplan? Is that the one where Jodie Foster is in a plane with her daughter and then her daughter disappears and they’re like, “You never had a daughter on the plane. What are you talking about?”

That’s this thing that echoes how people treat women in society. We now create this wonderful allegory and then you discover how mundane it all is. It’s the mundanity of Rosemary’s Baby that’s so brilliant. When she finally comes to understand what’s happened, everybody’s weirdly relaxed. They’re also so normal. You not only have Ruth Gordon playing the lovely old lady who lives down the hall, but you have just like, there’s this guy from Asia who’s taking photographs and he’s just like a tourist almost. You have Ruth Gordon’s husband, who’s just an old goof. Then there’s like women that look like from the steno pool. The evil, it says, is everywhere you look.

John: Let’s move on to The Exorcist. The Exorcist is 1973 and by that expression, you love The Exorcist. My recollection of The Exorcist is having watched it in like little small segments when it was broadcast on TV because I was too scared and my parents would be out of town. The Exorcist again is a story of the terror of parenthood and the terror of this child being possessed, literally possessed by the devil. What are the responsibilities of a parent?

Craig: Even worse, she’s possessed by a demon.

John: I’m sorry.

Craig: So it’s worse because the devil–

John: Yes, sure.

Craig: One of the things that they did that was so smart, it comes from the book, William Peter Blatty.

John: Yeah, so Blatty wrote the novel and the screenplay.

Craig: Right, brilliant. William Friedkin, of course, directing it. The entity that has occupied her is very powerful and not even close to being the devil, which makes it sort of worse. What you immediately note in the small amount of time between Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist, the gulf between how vulgar and how shocking things are in The Exorcist. Mia Farrow’s got this like, “What is happening? I don’t believe you. What?”

John: Meanwhile, Reagan is vomiting.

Craig: And masturbating with a crucifix, and using the most foul language possible, and just doing these things. She’s a child. The thought that we could, some of the scenes in The Exorcist now, you simply would not– you wouldn’t even be able to get past the script. People would be like, “We’re going to– No.” Are you going to have your intimacy coordinator come in and talk about how this is going to work? But it also was graphic, deeply graphic in ways that Rosemary’s Baby wouldn’t have even thought of.

John: Because I remember even long before I’d actually seen any clips of The Exorcist, I was aware of the tropes. I was aware of the spinning heads and the vomits and the crawling on the ceilings, because it was just part of popular culture. It was a meme before we had a word for memes.

Craig: I watched The Exorcist in the most ill-advised fashion. I was 9 or 10, which is the perfect age to be deeply traumatized by The Exorcist. I was staying at my friend Eric Freeman’s house, and he had a basement. This was 1980. There was a service in– that’s right, 1980, there was a service in New York called WHT. New York infamously did not have cable for a long time, because of like–

John: It was hard to plug wires and stuff in.

Craig: It was laws. It was just laws and the mob or something, I don’t know, for some ridiculous reason. Then there was a service, WHT, that you would pay for, and it would basically send an over-the-air, scrambled signal, and then you had a little de-scrambler. They would run movies. They would also run some soft-core porn after hours that’s when I also saw porn for the first time. Eric Freeman’s basement was like– it was the hottest club in town.

I knew nothing about what I was in for, and it was so impactful upon me. To this day, it still scares me. I know it shouldn’t, but just seeing her face sometimes scares me.

John: Let’s jump ahead, then, to The Omen. We’ll talk about this for all three of them, and sort of their financial success, and why that’s cemented their place here. Let’s talk about The Omen, because I’d never seen The Omen, so I watched it last night. Written by David Seltzer, directed by Richard Donner. This is where we get the popular culture or knowledge of 666 because they’ve mentioned it a lot in the course of the movie because it wasn’t known at that point. People didn’t know Book of Revelations 666, so they had to explain it a lot in the movie.

Story follows Gregory Peck, who is an ambassador, first we see him in Rome, then he’s coming into London. He and his wife have a young child. Only he knows that it’s actually adopted, because their child died when it was born. This is Damien, which is such a great name. It became iconic in terms of the demon child.

Craig: Basically, we were like, let’s take the word demon, and change it to Damien.

John: Perfect.

Craig: Yes, that sort of goes to why, to me, The Omen feels like somebody said, “Get me Rosemary’s Baby, get me The Exorcist, blend them, and let’s see what comes out the tube.”

John: I’ll try to find a link to it, but I was looking through one article, blog post that was arguing that the movie was deeply impacted by one episode of Kolchak: The Night Stalker, which actually, an episode that had many of the same beats in terms of like politician raising the child, who is the Antichrist. This child, Damien, sinister things happen around them, a nanny hangs herself in a really graphic fashion.

Craig: That’s the best scene.

John: It’s the best scene.

Craig: “It’s all for you.”

John: It’s all for you. There’s a photographer who is tracking the family, who keeps noticing, funny that all these images are showing up in photos they’re taking of you.

Craig: Then he dies.

John: Then he dies. My frustration in watching it is that I really enjoyed how it started, I loved the filmmaking, and that ‘70s feel, it’s like this handheld–

Craig: Real grimy.

John: Yes, it was great to see, and then the movie gets dumber as it goes along.

Craig: Unfortunately, it does, because there’s nowhere for it to go. In the end, Rosemary’s Baby is about Rosemary. It’s not about the baby. The ending of Rosemary’s Baby is so horrifying, because all it is a mother who can’t help but be in love with her child, even though her child is the Antichrist. Because it is about motherhood, and it is about lack of agency.

Rosemary’s Baby is almost like, love is so powerful here that it doesn’t matter what happens, you’re going to love your child. The Exorcist is about saving a child. It’s about a priest who’s started to lose faith, and who feels like he hasn’t been able to help anyone, including his own mother, finally being able to do what Jesus did, give his life to save an innocent. The Omen is just sort of, just the kid is the problem.

John: The kid is the problem, and Gregory Peck ultimately doesn’t have to wrestle that much with it. He’s like, “Oh, I can’t kill my son,” but he can take those daggers. He’s ready to do it.

Craig: Yes, that’s the problem is, you’re just waiting, and then it’s just sort of the same thing of, okay, I can’t do it, I can’t kill him, and so then you end up, everybody dies, and Damien’s the devil who runs everything. That’s the thing. I just think it’s so much more remarkable that the ending of a movie like that, be the parent chooses to pick the child up and love it.

John: Yes.

Craig: That movie just got a little goofy.

John: Yes.

Craig: I don’t like saying bad things.

John: No, not a bit. We should stress that all three of these movies were giant hits.

Craig: Huge.

John: Phenomenons, and they were lines around the block, which is the reason why they’re so anchored into place in popular culture in terms of establishing what we mean by Satanism. I would posit that we would not have our understanding of Satan and Satanism without these movies, in the same way, we didn’t used to be so afraid of going into the water until Jaws. It created a thing that is actually not really a thing. The moral panic over Dungeons and Dragons and heavy metal music and all that stuff wouldn’t have happened without these three movies.

Craig: It would not. Just as our understanding of who Santa Claus is because Coca-Cola drew a picture of a guy, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was a song written by an advertising firm for a department store in Chicago, I believe. We think these things have been there forever. They have not. We think that there’s been this concept, and it hasn’t. It came out of those movies. It came out of that time.

Then you’re absolutely right. What happened almost immediately, in terms of speed of a nation moving, was something called the Satanic Panic. These movies presented a situation where there was, not in the case of The Exorcist, but in the other two, a kind of conspiracy of people to bring about Satan in our world, who would then do bad things.

Very shortly thereafter, people started to say, I think that there’s a conspiracy to bring Satan out in our world. Just as they did with Galileo and everybody else, it became a great way to take people that no one liked and accuse them. It was Salem Witch Trials writ large. America got so stupid. We think of America now as stupid. No, no, we have been stupider than we are now.

John: Let’s jump forward to where we’re at now and the sequels to these movies. There were other movies that were in their same place. We saw Satanism in our television shows to some degree. Our serial killers that we would put in our stories, might sometimes be satanic. Right now, we’re not actually doing a lot with Satan or Satanism in our movies. Longlegs, head nods in that direction. We have a movie like Hereditary, isn’t Satanism, but it’s adjacent to it.

Craig: It’s adjacent but that feels more like possessory. Again, The Exorcist was about a possession, and the whole concept of exorcism, which is a very Latin word, is connected deeply to the Catholic Church, and it’s the idea that you can be possessed by something. There have been so many possession movies, all of which, ultimately for me, I just wonder, I wouldn’t know, it just feels so weird. It’s like making a movie about two young people falling in love on an enormous boat that’s going to hit an iceberg and sink. Now, do something original, and you’re like, I can’t. It’s done, as good as it can be done.

You’re right, Satan has gotten goofier now because we sort of, again, like The Devil’s Advocate, it’s broad, and it’s very winky, and sort of like, “Satan,” come on. When you see Peter Stormare’s depiction of Satan in Constantine, it’s almost like they said, “All right, you saw how big Pacino got, go bigger.” So Satan becomes broad because he presumes we’ve all heard of it, we all know it, and then it’s almost like he’s rolling his eyes about 666. It’s old-fashioned, it’s hokey.

John: It’s hokey, and I also wonder whether we’re reaching for other forms of cosmic horror. It’s not like we’re making Cthulhu movies all the time, but there’s other senses of just existential dread out there that don’t have to be so tied into one specific mythology there. Maybe we should be reaching for other ways of acknowledging the horror of the unknowable darkness.

Craig: Yes, and it may be that because we’re American, our tradition is so steeped in Satanism, going back to Salem and all the rest. It’s hard for us to feel the same things that we would feel about, say, Cthulhu, even though, of course, also a creation of an American.

John: Yes, 100%. I think we should also maybe wrap this up by saying, of course, this is all based on our very sort of Western views of what Satan is just because it comes out of that tradition. I’d love to hear what the Asian equivalent of this is. I guess we have The Ring.

Craig: Oh, yes.

John: Yes, some of those movies. Again, so we’re talking about this otherworldly horror that is unknowable and unstoppable.

Craig: Which, again, draws a lot of it, it seems to me, from The Exorcist. We are all people. We are all scared of the dark. It doesn’t matter where we grow up. We’re scared of the dark, we’re scared of the unknown, and we’re scared of ghosts. Japanese horror does a particularly good job of figuring out how to make ghosts really scary as well. Korean cinema does a beautiful job with this as well. Every culture has its nightmare creatures.

John: Absolutely, a way of showing those primal fears in a cinematic form.

Craig: Lord of the Rings. Sauron. That’s Sauron, Satan, nightmare. That’s on–

John: Absolutely. I say it as opposed to like a Voldemort who is a character who has a full, rich backstory and does it like, even though there’s a cabal trying to bring him back to life, there’s a little of that, but it’s not the same thing.

Craig: No, because Voldemort has not always been. The idea is that Satan was here before man. Before God made man, and Satan makes a bet with God about Job, and there’s all this stuff where it’s quite clear he’s floating above all of us or underneath all of us, I suppose.

John: All right, we have a couple of listener questions that are on topic.

Craig: Great.

John: Eric writes, “As you said, in a good screenplay, the protagonist goes from ignorance of the theme to embodiment of the theme through action. It seems to me that in most movies, that involves a process of gradually embracing a positive truth that the protagonist needs to live a better life. What about movies with tragic endings, in particular horror films, where the protagonists end up dead, or at least much worse off than how they started the movie? Are they also still gradually learning to accept and embody a theme? It just happens to be a theme that destroys them instead of making them better. How does the journey from anti-theme to theme play out in The Exorcist for the protagonist, Father Damien, as he approaches his tragic ending?”

Craig: That one’s pretty easy. It is just a straight-up guy who’s questioning his faith. He has doubts. He is not sure how he is supposed to be an effective priest to anyone. He’s certainly not the person that the Catholic Church is thrilled about to go help this girl. They send– the exorcist is somebody else. It’s not him, it’s Max von Sydow. He’s the exorcist, but he dies. It’s really there so that Father Karras, at some point, can decide, “I’m going to commit myself to saving somebody at any cost, even if it’s my own life.”

And so in his final words, he says, “Take me, take me, take me.” It happens. Then he throws himself out the window and goes down those amazing stairs. That is about as clear of a going from anti-theme because in the beginning, he’s like, “I’m not very good at being a priest.”

John: I think other sort of horror films. the first Alien is a horror film. Ripley’s journey is great, to get singled out and actually rise to the occasion in ways that embody a lot of the themes we’re supposed to be doing here. In a lot of other horror films, especially slasher films, you can say that, yes, it’s actually tougher to chart the journey of that character. They’re surviving, but are they growing and changing in a way that is meaningful? Sometimes, yes, but a lot of very successful movies in that genre, you’re not seeing those same dynamics.

Craig: No. Myself, I’m not a big student of those films. Sometimes, when you look at how people describe the mechanics of screenwriting, you should also ask, what kind of movies do they make? I talked about the mechanics of screenwriting all the time, but there are kinds of movies that I’m not that into. I’m not that into– I was never a big fan of the Halloween films or the Friday the 13th films, because it didn’t really do anything for me, mostly for this reason. Didn’t seem like there was much there other than, “I’m not going to let you kill me.”

John: Absolutely, the final girl, “I will survive.”

Craig: The final girl.

John: I’ll see essays that really talk about the dynamics of that, and it’s great. I’m so glad you’re finding meaning in that. It just doesn’t resonate with me.

Craig: Right, and so what I would say to Eric is, you might not see this applying to some of these movies, and that’s okay because that is not really a skeleton key for everything. I think I pretty clearly said this is for mainstream storytelling of a certain sort.

John: I can imagine a better version of The Omen that has a lot more of that character arching, too. It’s not like the father’s desperate for a child and then to have to decide to kill the child.

Craig: It could be better.

John: It could be better.

Craig: It could be better.

John: Emily asks, “What’s the difference really between thriller and horror?”

Craig: Well, it’s whatever we want to say it is. Ultimately, it’s terminology.

John: There’s overlap between the two, but there’s a lot of thrillers that are horrifying, and there’s horror things that actually aren’t thrillers in the sense there’s not suspense. They’re just dark.

Craig: Thrillers, in my mind, are designed to quicken your pulse and get you chewing on your fingernails because you’re nervous. Horror movies are supposed to make you look away because you’re scared. Those are the two–

John: Sure.

Craig: Those are supposed to scare.

John: Absolutely, because there are political thrillers. I guess you could imagine a political horror movie, but it’s like it’s not the, it’d be very different. Michael, our final question. “I wanted to get your opinion on horror films never doing well during awards season. It seems like regardless of the quality of horror films or the performances in them, there’s never any Oscar buzz around them. Does Hollywood hate horror?”

Craig: Does Hollywood hate horror? Hollywood loves horror.

John: Loves horror.

Craig: That’s why they keep making horror films. What you’re asking is-

John: It’s so much money. It’s so cheap.

Craig: -do Oscar voters hate horror? I don’t know if they hate it. They just don’t seem to be that into it, but again–

John: If you look at the films that have incredible quality, they still do get singled out. The Silence of the Lambs, horror film. Well, horror film, thriller, both.

Craig: Thriller. It’s a thriller-

John: It’s scary.

Craig: -with scary moments. Look, the genre films, yes, of course, like comedies, they are generally overlooked in favor of the Oscars to some extent become about these smaller movies a lot. They’ve expanded it to make it a little bit better. Repeatedly, we end up in a situation where, yes, big movies that are very scary and have really lasting, deep impact on culture aren’t even considered.

John: No.

Craig: Because they’re genre and the Oscars are snobby.

John: Also, let’s be realistic that the makers of those horror films aren’t trying to win those Oscars and they’re not doing the work that it would take to win those Oscars.

Craig: Because they know it won’t work.

John: Yes, absolutely. It’s a trick of the day problem, yes.

Craig: I think it would be fair to say like, “Look, you make a big comedy and everybody laughs and they have a good time. You also know, we’re not going to spend money on an Oscar campaign, it’s just not happening.” The Oscars are for dramas and they’re for a certain drama that appeals to a certain age of people.

John: It’s time for our one cool things. My one cool thing, I’m reaching back, I’ve probably, this has been my one cool thing, maybe three times, but it’s so topical that I need to do it, which is the short story Gifted by Simon Rich, which is about these parents who discover their child– the child is born with horns. It is the Antichrist. They are so obsessed with getting it into Dalton to get it into a really good private school and to make sure their son’s life is as awesome as it can be. It is just hilarious. It’s just a great reminder of, for all the tropes you set up in a genre, the antitropes can be just hilarious.

Craig: So funny. My one cool thing this week is a television series. You know me, I don’t watch a lot of things. I’m two-thirds of the way through, it’s called Say Nothing or in the parlance of the show, Say Nothin’. It is a series about a woman named Dolours Price, who was a member of the IRA and most infamously perpetrated car bombings in London and was imprisoned and went on a hunger strike and was force-fed and tortured and then sent back.

It’s also about Gerry Adams, who, and this is fascinating. I’ve never seen this before. At the end, so Gerry Adams, this show is based on a book, and Gerry Adams runs the IRA, he’s going through all this stuff, and at the end of every episode, it comes up and it says, “To this day, Gerry Adams denies ever being a member of the IRA or participating in any violent activities.” That disclaimer, I’m sure Gerry Adams’ lawyers thought would be real good for him. It is the most damning disclaimer I’ve– and the fact that they repeat it at the end of every episode is so brutal. I think it’s just beautifully done.

John: Great.

Craig: It’s gorgeously performed and filmed, and the writing is excellent. Josh Zetumer is the showrunner here. Just beautiful work. My kind of show. Congratulations to everybody that clearly worked so hard on Say Nothing. Oh, and also now, because I’ve been watching it, I think I can do this, and if you’re from Northern Ireland, please go ahead and write in and tell me I blew it. This is the phrase I’ve been working on, is do it now. Okay, ready? “Do it nye.” How is it?

John: Nice.

Craig: Well, it may not be nice. We’re going to hear from some folks from Belfast. I want to hear how bad I did, or how good.

John: How good, How good. Where do we see that show?

Craig: That’s on Hulu.

John: Hulu.

Craig: On Hulu.

John: Hulu.

Craig: Hulu.

John: Hulu. That is our show for this week. Scripnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, and edited by Matthew Chilelli, who did our very special outro this week. Matthew, thank you for this.

[music]

John: If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask at johnaugust.com. It’s also the place where you can send questions, like the ones we answered today. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you’ll find transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies and drinkware. You’ll find them all at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net. We get all those back episodes and bonus segments, like the one we’re about to record on The Antichrist.

Craig: Oh, there’s more Antichrist?

John: Yes.

Craig: Good.

John: Good.

Craig: Excellent.

John: Craig, thank you.

Craig: Thank you.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Craig, the Antichrist today. Let’s figure out who we should– Who’s a good candidate for the Antichrist? Because, and we should also specify, which aspect, is it just supposed to be the son of Satan, or is it supposed to be the false prophet who leads us away from the true teachings of Jesus Christ? Do we need the person who seems evil, or the person who seems really good? There’s lots of ways we can go here, so what are some of your instincts?

Craig: Well, the way that people tend to treat this is somebody shows up who is really slick and appealing.

John: Up-facing the crowd, yes.

Craig: Everybody wants to vote for this person, this person seems great, but then casually starts to convert us all to a one-world government, which is the worst possible thing.

John: Yes, of course.

Craig: Like a one-town government or a one-state government. Why would everybody just– what? Okay, so one-world government’s the worst possible thing, and then they start doing horrible things, and of course, it’s over. The person who would be the most hysterical Antichrist to me would be Kirk Cameron.

John: Oh yes, that’d be great.

Craig: Kirk Cameron was a child actor on sitcoms in the ‘80s.

John: Growing Pains.

Craig: Became very, very religious, and then has dedicated his time since to a lot of evangelical Christianity, but also making these movies about the Antichrist. In those movies, he’s the hero who’s trying to stop everybody from believing in the Antichrist. That is what the Antichrist– that is the movie the Antichrist would be making to get the lens off of him.

John: Oh yeah.

Craig: It’s very clever, see? That said, Elon Musk is a pretty decent candidate.

John: Mr. Beast. Name is right there.

Craig: Wow.

John: Mr. Beast, he’s doing all this good in the world.

Craig: What a put.

John: He’s helping blind people see. He’s giving away all this money.

Craig: Mr. Beast.

John: He’s obviously the most generous person on Earth.

Craig: You’re right. It’s sort of like in Angel Heart, Robert De Niro plays the devil, and he introduces himself as Louis Cypher.

John: Yes, can’t figure that out.

Craig: Lucifer.

John: Wow. Mind is blown.

Craig: Jeez Louise, come on devil, do better.

John: All right, so if we’re starting with somebody who’s already powerful, then Elon Musk or some other billionaire feels like a good choice. Taylor Swift in terms of her influence, in terms of her ability to get the young people motivated to do terrible things like vote.

Craig: This is why I think people get real keyed up about the UN. If you know anything about the United Nations, you know that the one thing you never have to worry about is the United Nations doing anything-

John: Oh, 100%.

Craig: -in a particularly effective, quick–

John: People want to think of the UN as like a government. Does it govern anything? No.

Craig: It’s the biggest Zoom meeting where nothing happens ever. Yet, because it smells of one world government, yes, the person, whoever’s running the UN, the Secretary General of the UN is always looked at as a possibility.

Then I think you’re right, in the modern times what’s happened is kids through rap culture and through hip hop culture have swung over to this idea of the Illuminati. They’re super into the Illuminati, when in fact, I don’t think there is– there seems to be some really screwed up parties going on.

John: I think we should talk about it because I didn’t know that was happening.

Craig: You and I, I think, we are on the outs, man. We have never been invited to anything like that, nor did we– We’re actually quite sweet in that, I’m sure you were like–

John: I’ve been invited to board game nights.

Craig: What? Yes, when you read that, you were like, “What? Really?” Yes, we play D&D and I do my puzzles. It turns out that some bad things are happening. That said, they aren’t satanic. That’s the whole point, they’re just people being jerks, and a jerk is a very mild term for the things that they were doing. They were being criminals and violent criminals. That’s always been a thing. Maybe people would think like Sean Combs, but he’s in prison now.

John: Sort of by definition, you want the Antichrist to have a lot of sway and power in popular culture and he at the moment does not.

Craig: Who are we all cheering for?

John: Obviously a president feels like a good candidate for an Antichrist because they have so much power. They can literally do a lot of things. They can start wars.

Craig: Donald Trump, it’s too obvious. He’s too clumsy, he’s like Mr. Magoo.

John: Yes, so like Hillary Clinton would be a better choice.

Craig: Well, Bill Clinton, really. The thing is–

John: Oh, he’s charming, yes.

Craig: That’s the thing. The devil is charming. When these charming– Justin Trudeau, there’s so much weird pretty privilege that turns into-

John: Oh, sure.

Craig: -pretty paranoia where we are terrified of these good-looking men, more so than women, it seems. Good-looking men who get a lot of power, you’re like, “Wait a second.”

John: Ryan Reynolds.

Craig: Ryan Reynolds. By the way, Ryan, the thing is, if we are going to have Satan, and it is Ryan Reynolds–

John: Satan or Antichrist, it could be a manifestation. It could be the son of the devil.

Craig: If it were, you want them to be Canadian and you want a nice– A nice Canadian Antichrist is going to be like, okay, it is one world and so we are going to– there are going to be more traffic lights and things. I’ve lived in Canada for a while now. We’re all going to drive the speed limit. We’re all going to drive like we have nowhere to go. This is my impression of a Vancouver driver. Just driving like I don’t need to get somewhere. That would be the worst of it. I think Ryan actually would be okay if he was in charge of the one world government. He does a really good job at the gin.

John: I think part of the challenge with the term Antichrist is that we think of it as being just like a polar opposite of Jesus Christ. Therefore it would have to be like, not humble, but like boasty and caring for only the rich and all this stuff. We can envision that, but it doesn’t actually– it’s unattractive. It doesn’t lead to power in any good way.

Craig: No. No. I wonder if Ryan’s going to hear this and just go, “What? I was just on the show.”

John: “I was just on the show.”

Craig: “I don’t need this. No.” Ryan Reynolds is not the Antichrist.

John: He’s not the Antichrist.

Craig: No, he’s not the Antichrist.

John: It would be, if you were the devil–

Craig: You would want to look like Ryan Reynolds.

John: Most men wouldn’t be upset with you.

Craig: I also want to look like Ryan. I don’t want to be the Antichrist. I just want to be able to do sit-ups.

John: Thanks, Craig.

Craig: Thank you, John.

Links:

  • Rosemary’s Baby – Screenplay
  • The Exorcist – Screenplay
  • The Omen – Screenplay
  • Gifted by Simon Rich
  • Say Nothing
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram, Twitter and Mastodon
  • Outro by Matthew Chilelli (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 665: What Can You Even Do?, Transcript

November 22, 2024 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: Well. My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to episode 665 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, we often talk about characters needing agency, but what does that look like on the page? We’ll explore agency on the scene level and in the script overall. Then it’s listener questions on sign language, screenwriting while blind, and credits when something is written for television, but then goes theatrical.

In our bonus segment for premium members, Disneyland. Craig, I just went to Disneyland for the first time in many, many years. I want to talk about Disneyland and our experience of theme parks as folks who create entertainment for those giant corporations.

Craig: My wife loves Disneyland.

John: But I’m guessing you don’t so much.

Craig: I’m not against it.

John: I’m not against it either.

Craig: I like Disney World, but it’s so far away and I’m never going to Florida again. So I guess I should probably get back into Disneyland.

John: Mike and I are not Disney adults, but we went as adults on election day to avoid all the anxiety of election time.

Craig: How’d that work out?

John: It was actually a very good distraction for the period of time that we were at Disneyland. Then we just did not open up any social media on the phone. Then we got home and eventually we had to break the seal and the bottom fell out of the world.

Maybe we’ll start with that. Remember back in 2016, we actually did a bonus episode of Scriptnotes the day after the election saying the title was Everything Will Be Okay but I was genuinely freaked out then. I was also really upset this time, but not as astonished, I guess.

Craig: First, let’s try and find some vague silver lining here even though a lot of people have very good reason to be concerned. This was eight years ago and we said everything will be okay. Everything’s not okay but the world didn’t end.

John: Did not end.

Craig: So that’s something. That’s a data point. Things definitely didn’t go great. This time it doesn’t feel good again. We’re going to have to see what happens. The only weird psychological difference for me this time was A, I already knew what it was like to feel this. It wasn’t a new feeling.

And B, and this might feel counterintuitive, the first time it seemed like everybody just made a really crazy mistake. People were just goofing around and mistakenly elected a guy. This time, no, they fully chose. They fully chose. This is the country we live in. This is the choice they made, and now we live with it. It’s not going to be great, and who knows?

John: The who knows is a big factor here because it’s as we talked about on our last episode, the uncertainty and the anxiety that comes with uncertainty is big. In that episode, we were talking about waiting on a decision for a thing and the situation of knowing that we have x number of years ahead of us of this stuff and that it’s going to be remembering how exhausting 2016 through 2020 was and just getting through that. Yet we know we got through it.

We also know that people throughout history have gotten through things. A thing that I’ve talked about on the show before is that the Great Big Book of Horrible Things, which is this book I read every couple of years which recounts the hundred greatest losses of life over the course of human history. It sounds so depressing, but what you learn about when you look at those terrible events in history is yes, but we still got here. For all the suffering that happened in the moment, humanity did pull through.

Craig: I think it’s unlikely that we will vaporize. The other, I wouldn’t call this hope or silver lining as much as notably pragmatic, is that now everyone is prepared. We take care of the people that we love. We look out for people that aren’t living in States where the laws are good, and we take action to help the people we need to help as best we can. And we do whatever we can. Acknowledging that there are limitations to what we can do until such time as this democracy chooses otherwise. That’s the best we can do. Yes, 2016 to 2020 was exhausting. There was also this insane pandemic. He didn’t cause that pandemic as far as we know.

John: Here’s the thing is that there’s going to be a bunch of unexpected surprises logged our way. You want to have people in those positions who can best deal with those things. I don’t feel like we’re going to have a highly staffed, competent government to do those things and that is a concern for me. For example, I’m concerned about the safety of the AI systems that are being developed. I don’t feel like this is a group of decision-makers who are particularly well-suited for the task.

Craig: They don’t seem particularly well suited for any task. I don’t know how that will end up, but I’m very focused on a couple of realities. The most important of which is, I must be aware of the things that are within my control. I know I can vote, I know I can donate money, I know I can talk to people, but I also know that there are some things I cannot influence whatsoever. I am not able to influence legislation about AI. No.

John: I’m not able to influence this man’s relationship with Putin, which I think is incredibly alarming, but not. We talked last week about the circle of concern and circle of control, and that they don’t overlap very much. Yet what I have found very helpful in these days after this election result was to make a list of the things I’m actually worried about. Actually, just chart them, because sometimes it’s just as a amorphous blob but when you actually list them down, you’re like, “This is a long list, but I can see them.”

For each one of them, is there anything I can control or effect about this? In most cases, a lot of cases, no, but in some cases yes. For example, I’m really alarmed about the damage that can be done to our US healthcare system under this person. But the actual steps I’m going to take is I can make sure I got my flu shot, I got my COVID booster, make sure I’m up to date on other vaccinations. I can get extra copies of the prescription medicines that I actually need. I can have those. My daughter can get plan B which lasts for four years. There are some things like that you can do.

I’m really concerned about the economy just blowing up. An individual can save money, they can also just think about, “What are the plans you could take if things got bad. What are the roommate situations? What are the moving home situations? What are the things you could do?” Because at least that’s something you can think about that’s under your control versus these uncontrollable issues.

Craig: If you extend that too far, you end up a prepper. You have to find the balance, which is difficult but trying to reengage the neocortex and kick the lizard brain back a little bit is valuable. It does help put things in context and it does give you at least a sense that you’re not just running around in circles screaming. That’s pretty much about the best you can do.

John: The other thing you can remind yourself is that it’s okay to feel grief and upset and outrage, but it’s also okay to feel joy and happy. You don’t have to live inside a horror movie.

Craig: It’s actually critical. I was talking about this with my older kid, how living a joyous life is the best revenge. We will have to do things to try and make sure that we can live a joyous life, including choosing where we live. If it seems to me over the course of time, if I look around and I’m like, “Oh dear, this is sliding towards something horrible, even here in California,” I’ll leave. I will. I’ve always felt like you got to keep one eye on reality.

Now, generally, I’ve never actually thought about that as an American, really. I’ve never thought, “Oh, would I ever have to leave?” I don’t believe I would ever have to leave here because I don’t really think that there is an America. I think there are two Americas. I think there are in a cold civil wars, how I would call it. It’s not a shooting war, but it’s a cold civil war. There’s a really good article in Wired. I guess I’ll make it one of my cool things about California and how California, despite everyone else’s screaming and gnashing of teeth, is just dragging everybody toward the future.

It’s what we do but the other thing that isn’t within my control and that I’ve absolutely exercised is even though I had a very diminished footprint on social media, I’ve turned it off entirely. Because I think at this point, it is fair to say nobody knows what the hell they’re talking about. Everybody is under the delusion that they can influence other people. They can’t. They are simply talking to each other and reverberating. I am totally with you, John, that the most important thing is that we don’t let any person steal our joy. Even in the midst of other people’s suffering, we do what we can to help them.

John: You and I are in the business of hopefully making joy or hopefully we’re making entertainment. It feels so trivial to be doing that in time when things could be– Things aren’t awful right now. But they could get awful. How are you going to continue to work? I do remember in 2016, I was writing the second of the Arlo Finch books, which is the best of the Arlo Finch books. It actually was a terrific privilege to just be able to disappear into that work at that time. So I would say, yes, all of the stress outside stressors can be a negative impact on your work, but they can also invite you into your work to focus on those and create meaning in them.

Craig: We’re in post-production. I gathered everyone together and I don’t presume what people’s politics are. I don’t talk to them in any way about, oh, everyone here hates what happened. I don’t presume that but what I did say was I imagine that there are quite a few feelings right now. We talked through what options were for people. Then I just reminded them that making shows like the one we make, it’s one of the last things that Americans seem to enjoy doing together, are watching sporting events, watching certain television shows, going to certain movies. Everybody’s happy to just do that together. There’s not much left. We don’t watch the same news, we don’t live in the same states, we don’t believe the same things, we don’t listen to the same music.

It’s all over the place. Then there are these moments where we’re all like the way it used to be, where everybody just does things together and we’re something that people can do together. It matters. It actually matters. We’re not making vaccines, we know that. We’re not curing cancer. But it’s actually significant.

John: It feels like a natural segue into our main topic today, which is on agency. Back in episode 627, Aline was here and she and I were talking about this term agentic, which is related to main character energy. People describing themselves as wanted to be agentic.

Craig: I hate that word so much.

John: You were gone for that episode. Here’s what I do respect about it. It’s about taking the reins of your destiny to do things the way you want to do them. It’s being the protagonist in your story. It can relate to that grind in hustle culture, but also about taking risks socially and professionally and not being afraid to take space and demand attention, which are generally noble goals. Sometimes we have this instinct to hide back in the corner when we shouldn’t do that.

It’s about taking that step outside of yourself and saying, “What should this person who is me do in this situation to achieve those goals?” Let’s now turn this back to the actual work that we do, which is our characters and our stories. How do we think about agency and what does agency really mean for them? Craig, what’s your definition of agency? What does agency mean for a character and a story?

Craig: I always think of it as giving a character qualities that allows them to change the plot. Basically they can make choices that change the plot.

John: Absolutely. They have autonomy. They have the ability to make choices themselves. They’re self-driven rather than be directed by others. They’re not on rails that they really have to do a thing.

Craig: And there are choices to make.

John: There are choices to make. Absolutely, and that they’re making those choices with intentionality. There’s a reason why they’re making this choice versus that choice. Sometimes they can make the wrong choices, but they still had the ability to make that choice. I think that last point is so crucial that there’s the possibility of effectiveness. It’s plausible that the choices could have an impact on their situation and in a meta-level, change the story.

Craig: Sometimes when people write stories, they’ll have a character make a choice because they, the writer, need them to make that choice to make stuff work. We can feel it every time. That’s where you’ll start to hear, “We’re not sure this character has agency because they just made a choice for no reason. It’s not particularly consistent with what we know about them or how they’ve lived before. They’re just doing it and it worked out well for your plot.” That’s not ideal. Then we don’t really feel the illusion of a real person there, because, of course, it is all an illusion.

John: Absolutely. I think the Inside Out movies do a great job with a sense of characters who are making choices that are having a direct impact on the story overall. In both movies, Joy has a goal. In trying to achieve her goal, she’s creating the plot of the story and her misguided assumptions are changing what’s happening there. You see that reflected in the real world too, in terms of the real-world character who’s trying to do things that we can understand why she’s trying to do them, even though they’re the wrong choices she’s making.

Craig: We, as we write, have to basically be all of the emotions of our character. We are joy and we’re anger and we’re sadness and anxiety. We’re all those things. We just have to figure out in these moments which one of those things is going to be driving the character.

There are some characters that play as purely logical, very rational. They are almost never the hero because we are not interested in investing our emotions in somebody who is not driven by their emotions.

Spock is a great side character. In the team that’s breaking into, the Russian intelligence building, there’s always one character who has no emotions and is just incredibly dry and matter-of-fact, but that’s never your hero. Your hero has to get angry, your hero has to be scared, your hero has to have worries, and your hero has to love something.

John: Those emotions that we need to be able to see. We need to find ways to externalize these internal stakes so we can actually see what they’re doing. We need to believe that they are informing the choices that they make, that they’re actually contributing to, that the actions that we’re seeing them take, that next line of dialog comes out of what is underneath the surface there that we believe exists.

Craig: Choices are difficult. If it’s an easy choice, it’s not a choice.

John: You brought up the idea of like, we mostly hear about agency when we get the note. It feels like the character lacks agency. Let’s translate that. What is an executive really saying when they’re giving you that note?

Craig: Usually that everybody else in the story is laying out for that character what needs to be done and that character picks one of the options that they’ve laid out, or the character is stuck. Someone says, “We’ve got to go rescue this person. They’re here. We’ve got to do this and this.” You’re like, “Okay. I’m going.” Then really what you’re left with as a character is, “How well do I aim a gun?” That’s not agency. That’s just skill, which is cheap. You start to feel like there isn’t a person there who is in charge of their life. They’re just an NPC.

John: I can envision two different scenarios where you might hear the agency note. They’re different situations. There’s the, it feels like this person is giving these choices and they’re just doing this thing, but they’re on autopilot, and it’s almost like they’ve been assigned a mission. Like, you’re going to do these things in this order, and this is how you’re going to do it. That feels like a lack of agency. That feels like a lack of choice.

You also see characters who, because of the situation you’ve put them in, like it’s a depressed young mother in a small town who can’t get out of her thing. It’s like, she feels like she doesn’t have agency. I’ve not created a situation where that person can actually make a choice that can influence their life. Those are different things and require very different solutions.

Craig: We used to hear passive. That was really what we, then somebody came up with agency and our business loves a buzzword.

John: At the end of the day, our business loves a buzzword.

Craig: The business of it all loves a buzzword or buzzphrase. Agency took over from passive but it’s similar. It is similar. There’s nothing wrong to be clear with a character who you define as somebody who is trapped because they have no agency. And then they are forced by your plot hand to start to make difficult choices, which forces them to experience what it means to have agency. 40-year-old Virgin, there’s no agency there. He’s just going through life on autopilot and then he is forced to try and do stuff.

John: I think what’s comparing that like, here’s the mission you’ve been assigned versus kicking you out of your comfort zone. The work the writer needs to do is so very different. The passive character lacks agency because they have no choice put before them. Fundamentally your story is different. You need to find a reason why you’re telling this one-time story of this character who’s changed and has to undertake this quest to do a thing versus the “you’ve been assigned this mission.”

That’s the carpentry job that you and I are sometimes hired to do is like, “How do I get these beats to happen in a way where our character is actually making the choices to do these things?” That’s why Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible, he gets the self-destructing message, but then he’s making his– charting his own course.

Craig: This is our version of magicians forcing cards. They give you the impression that you have agency, that you get to pick a card, any card. That is what we’re doing too. You do not get to pick any card. This character actually doesn’t have agency. They don’t exist. But our job is to make it seem like they do.

John: A thing I’ve said often talking about character wants and motivations is the hero’s allowed to drive wherever they want to drive. We’re building the roads. Yes, you can drive anywhere you want. These are the roads you got. We are laying out the roads and it feels natural because there have to be roads, and so we built the roads for them.

Craig: It’s a weird job that we do.

John: It’s a very weird job.

Craig: It’s very strange.

John: Talking about the note about character slack agency, I think sometimes it’s a mismatch of character and story. You’ve created a character who doesn’t have the tools or expertise for this really interesting plot. You may have just picked the wrong hero for this plot or the wrong plot for this hero. And the gears don’t match, and so therefore the engine doesn’t work right.

Craig: None of my skills, abilities, desires, none of them have anything to do with the story that’s happening. The plot that we choose is designed specifically to test a certain human being who has certain limitations, needs, wants, or undiscovered strengths. If we don’t pick that plot for them, then it really doesn’t matter if we give them a choice because the choices don’t matter and it doesn’t feel like it’s purposeful.

John: The other problem I see sometimes is you have characters who feel like they are rats in a maze. It happens a lot in horror movies where they are just responding to the stimulus that’s being put there. Some of the very best horror movies, Alien is a great example of a scary movie that where the characters do have agency and are making choices and there are conflicts between characters because of the choices that they’re making. That is when it feels great. But when it’s just we have to get away from this madman and I can go through this door or through that door, that doesn’t really feel like agency.

Craig: No. That’s running. Now, usually, there is a character early on in horror films that has no agency on purpose who just gets chewed up. Poor woman swimming when the shark gets her. She has no agency. Usually, the first person that Jason or Freddy gets has no agency. That’s what NPCs are for, to demonstrate the formidable nature of the villain. Then our hero, they’re the ones who are like, and in horror movies, this does happen where you’re like, “Clearly plot armor has come into play.”

Plot armor exists specifically to protect characters who have agency. The reason we call plot armor is it’s not working well enough because the choices that they’re making in theory aren’t good enough to keep them alive based on the rules of what we know. You got to watch out for that one or else you just stop worrying about your characters.

John: Indeed. Let’s talk about what agency looks like on the page. In the course of a scene, how do you think about agency within a scene? You talked about it from your protagonist or from other characters in the scene. What does agency look like in a scene for you?

Craig: I always start with, what is the point of this scene? The point–

John: Your point as-

Craig: My point as the writer.

John: -as the writer.

Craig: The point is surely to change this character in some way, to express a need or want, or to fail. All of those things require the person to make choices. If they just walk outside and get walloped, it’s not interesting. They make a choice in every scene. No matter what, they must choose something. If they just walk outside and it’s like, “We’ve got to figure out how to get from here to here,” and there’s no choice, even if the choice is, “There’s only one way to get there, but it’s incredibly dangerous. Should we do it or not? We should do it.” I need to understand that choice and I need to know what the ramifications are of it.

John: They’re making a choice. They’re deciding to make a choice. They’re not being forced to make a choice. They’re deciding to make a choice. It’s plausible that the choice that they’re making is effective. You can believe that they think that that choice is effective.

Craig: That the choice is effective. It is also important to make sure that the choice is not irrevocable because if it is, then it doesn’t matter what they think. They can’t choose their way out of it. So running away is a great choice to always keep for your characters in whatever form running away would take, so that you know that you can back out of it. You don’t have to go through with it. Therefore when you do, it is either because of courage or folly. It’s a smart idea or it’s a bad idea, but the choice remains all the way.

John: Absolutely. If you’re designing your character as well, each different character would make us a different choice in that moment. Both in what they’re going to say and what they’re going to do, the choice that they’re making should reveal more about that character and more about why they are such a unique person in this situation but it has to be specific to who they are and what they’re doing.

Craig: You brought up the idea of arguing. Debating the choice is important. It underscores where each person is coming from. Arguing is a great instrument that we have, like sleigh of hand for magicians to create the illusion of agency because people are arguing for their points of view, which means they have a perspective that is individual and individuated from each other, which is also important. If everybody agrees, and everybody is like, it can either be A or B, and everybody votes B, we got a problem with the story.

John: I will agree. An argument or disagreement should reveal the differences, it should reveal power imbalances, it should reveal hidden things that are not being spoken about. If characters are disagreeing, it should be more than about A or B, it should really be about some other situation that’s behind the scenes.

Let’s talk about agency within a sequence. By this, I mean a collection of scenes that are driving towards one specific point. To me, even if you’re given a task, a mission of what to do, you want characters to have autonomy on how they do it. If we know that we need to blow up that bridge, great. If that’s the goal, fantastic, but let’s see our characters making the decisions about how to do that and then we as storytellers frustrate those decisions and force them to rethink their plans along the way.

Craig: Yes. There are also sequences that are defined by characters revealing, and this is a double negative, revealing that they really don’t have agency. Characters that are obsessive, that are losing the plot, so to speak, who convinced you they were being rational and then you realize they’re not. That’s a very uncomfortable feeling.

I love Star Trek: First Contact. That movie is great. A lot of it is basically lifted from Moby-Dick. Captain Ahab pretends he has agency. He makes you believe he has agency and then he exhibits this quality that we recognize in people, which is, okay now it’s a notable lack of agency. It’s not mistaken. It’s notable. They’re trying to hide it. That’s also fine. A lot of humans move through life without any real ability to shift the levers. They just keep doing what they do.

John: They keep pulling the slot machine and expecting the reward. Finally, let’s zoom all the way back out to a movie, an episode of that, a series, or the whole series in terms of what agency looks like in the course of those. Sometimes I’ve seen problems where it’s like, “You’ve made the wrong choices because you focused on characters who didn’t have agency or you had to make smart choices about who you were focusing on because of lack of agency. I was thinking about the movie Thirteen Lives, which focuses on the tie soccer team that’s trapped in the caves, the flooded caves. It’s important to see their perspective. Yet those characters, once they’re trapped, they have very little agency.

Craig: Correct. They’re trapped.

John: Exactly. Once we’re there and we have the means to get them out, then seeing that their decision making process about how they’re going to do it makes a lot of sense. They’re basically like Baby Jessica did down the well. It’s a story about them, but they’re not actually the central characters.

Craig: There are situations where we have an expectation that there won’t be agency. Let’s say for instance, you live in the Soviet Union and someone calls you and says, “We need you to do what the government is telling you to do.” You’re like, “Guess I’m filing that report.” Then the character’s expression of agency is underlined as some startling act that then has to be encouraged somehow, or else you, again take it away.

Or you have a story where you imply to somebody that they have agency and then you behave in a way that undermines them completely because only you deserved agency, not them. That’s also fun. Those arcs go across all the episodes or the whole movie, and you will find at the end of things, seasons or movies that you find out who really gets to choose and who doesn’t.

John: Looking at TV series, Lost is like– Let me talk about what you’re looking for overall. The audience has characters and wants to see those heroes accomplish a thing. You really can’t talk about agency without some goal or larger purpose. In Lost, it’s that you want those characters to get off the island. Severance of series you and I both like is a lot about agency and its characters deliberately severing their agency.

Craig: Then trying to get it back.

John: Exactly. We want them as an audience to be able to get that back and figure out just how to reconnect it. In Big Fish, we want to see the father and the son reconcile. They both have quite a lot of agency in trying to do that. But the mismatch of how they’re going about trying to do it is the frustration and ultimately hopefully the success of their story.

Craig: Every romance involves people who have a choice and we just keep waiting for them to make the choice and want them to make. If they just made it, there wouldn’t be a good story.

Then the question is, why aren’t you making the choice we want you to make? You got to give them a really good reason to not make the choice that you want them to make. It has to be compelling. Otherwise, you end up with a situation where you think you’ve given these characters agency and people who read your script will say it just seemed like they were not getting together for no good reason other than you needing to keep them apart until page 98. Now you’ve put your finger on a problem, you need to give them a reason.

John: Yes. Its tough. Let’s wrap up this agency conversation with, I’m trying to think if there’s any good general takeaways. Agency is one of those telescoping things. You see it on the very small scale. You see it on the very large scale. It’s not just for our heroes. We’ve mostly been talking about our protagonist.

Craig: Oh yes. The villains must have it.

John: Villains must have it. Yes, if you do a freeze frame and you’re looking at that third guard over there–

Craig: NPC.

John: NPC, we won’t care. Supporting characters too, we need to believe that they’re there for reasons beyond just the plot and to help out the protagonist.

Craig: Anybody that you want to foreground, needs to feel like they are not dancing on your string. If we can see the strings, it’s over.

John: I think you particularly notice that if a character who has been supporting character is allowed to drive scenes by themselves, if they actually can be a POV character on things, that it doesn’t feel like they have any agency. It doesn’t feel like they can make independent decisions. Oh shit, something’s wrong there.

Craig: You don’t want to follow what should be a day player. You have a scene between your hero and your villain are facing off at a diner. You don’t want to spend time with the waiter in the kitchen for any reason because they don’t have agency. They will be making no choices that impact the plot whatsoever.

John: I will never write this movie, so I’m fine to talk about it on the air. I’ve always wanted to do a romcom that was set inside the movie world of The Spy Who Loved Me. What I love about The Spy Who Loved Me is they’re inside this giant tanker ship, and we see all these other henchmen who are working for —

Craig: So many henchmen.

John: So many henchmen and I just want those henchmen to fall in love. I want to see their story, and I want basically a Rosencrantz and Guild’s turn in there. That’s a question of agency. They have no agency when it comes to doing their bosses deeds, or they have a lot of agency in terms of falling in love.

Craig: Mike Myers did this joke in Austin Powers where a henchman is killed, and then you just leave to go to his family, and they get the phone call to figure out what to do with that dad. It’s great and it’s funny because the notion that that person’s a real human being is hysterical to us because we just know they’re not. They’re just people dying in the background so that our heroes and villains can finally get to each other. It is amazing how we compartmentalize these things. We watch human beings literally murdered and we don’t feel their humanity whatsoever. None.

John: But if our guy get’s like, a cut on the arm, “Oh, no. Indiana Jones, you’re hurt.”

Craig: What will happen? This is important. Meanwhile, there’s guys in the background just dying. That’s Kevin Smith’s thing in Clerks, that Luke Skywalker is a war criminal because all the people on the Death Star were just doing their jobs.

John: Absolutely. They’re maintenance.

Craig: Literally. They don’t even know what the Death Star does. They certainly don’t know that it’s called the Death Star. Who would take that gig?

John: Let’s answer some listener questions. We’ll start with Seb in London.

Drew: Seb writes, I’m writing a pilot script where one of my characters is deaf and communicates through BSL. There are times when one other character in a group communicates with them through BSL, similarly to Sam and Henry in The Last of Us. How do I convey this when writing the script? Is it as simple as one line of action in the very first scene to give the reader the information, or do I have to preface every line of dialogue that’s signed?

Craig: Do not preface every line of dialogue.

John: No, that will be exhausting.

Craig: You can do a little indication early. I think, I’m pretty sure for that script, I just put that stuff in italics.

John: I have it in one of my scripts for a main character who’s deaf. The first time where it’s introduced, Garrett, who’s deaf, signs to Leyhill, parenthesis, we will always subtitle this so you know that it’s there. I boldface those lines just because it was a little easier to spot because there’s other languages that were sometimes in italics. To me, it’s important that I always show what that character is signing, even if other characters are translating the scene because there can be a difference in discrepancy there. I don’t just have the character who’s talking and doing the interpreting. I want to make sure that it’s actually clear that this person specifically had lines.

Craig: Sam would have dialogue.

John: Sam has dialogue in there.

Craig: It’s just in italics. We would understand he would be signing. By the way, that is how Keyvan understood what to perform. It was a little easier, I think, for us because so many of those scenes were really just between two brothers. It was quite clear how that conversation would go. But I think for the purposes of a page, even if you have 12 characters, 3 are deaf and 9 are not, just indicate how you’re doing it. Stick to some consistent method, whether it’s bolding or italicizing.

My personal opinion is don’t put too much garnish on the dialogue because you start to almost put something between you and that character. You don’t want to feel any difference there. Then step back and let the script be the script.

John: At a certain point, I remember I was listening to a podcast when they were talking about CODAs or how they did all the sign language in CODA. There’s a stage called glossing. Glossing, it’s specifically how are you going to sign that line because it’s not a one-to-one transition at all. That’s like when we had Justin Marks and Rachel Kondo talking about the Japanese in Shogun. You want the people who can really figure out exactly the best way for that character to express that.

Craig: That’s exactly how we did it. It’s not enough even to have a translator because as Justin and Rachel said, translators just translate, then you need somebody to understand the craft. So we had somebody whose job is to really understand from a literary point of view what was the context of this line, what’s the intention, what does it mean? Now let me figure out how that should be signed in a way that matches the intent here. Then the translator is really there just to facilitate communication between the filmmakers and the actors.

John: Absolutely. This thing that Seb is writing, if this gets produced, you would be working with the director, the actors, and some other person in there to help make sure that what is being signed accurately reflects what the intention is there. Let’s move on to Oren’s question.

Drew: Oren writes, my name is Oren, and I’m a blind scriptwriter living in Ireland. As a new writer who requires a screen reader to navigate programs on my computer, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to find a script-writing program or application that is accessible with industry-standard screen readers.

In case you don’t know, a screen reader is a text-to-voice software application used by blind or vision-impaired people, which will read aloud any information, including text, button controls, menu ribbons, form controls, edit boxes, et cetera.

I’ve tested most script writing software, including Fade In, Arc Studio, Celtx, and Final Draft. Ironically, I would say Final Draft is the most accessible so far, and by accessible, I mean about 2% of the application is usable for the screen reader.

Craig: That is definitely stretching the meaning of the word accessible.

Drew: I understand that you created your own screenwriting software called Highlands, John. However, as I work on Windows and your product seems to be only available for Mac, I can’t try it out. I would even consider purchasing a cheap Mac just to run your software if I knew it was accessible with Mac’s built in software VoiceOver.

Would you consider talking briefly about this accessibility issue on your podcast as it might help kick start a conversation with developers and persuade them to look more seriously at this problem? A lot of these screenwriting software applications claim to be the industry standard, but I fail to see how they can claim that right if they’re not making products that are inclusive for all.

John: Ryan Knighton has been on the show a couple times. He’s a blind screenwriter and a friend of mine. He had been using Final Draft on this Toshiba laptop for many, many years, and then it stopped working with Final Draft. He was in a panic situation so he came to us. Highland fortunately works really well for him. He first tried it on his iPhone to make sure the voice over worked. He had to learn how voice over worked with it. He now does it on his Mac. He wrote us this really lovely message about he’s spent his first year on a room writing entirely in Highland. One of the nice things about Highland is because it’s only an Apple ecosystem, it just actually works with all the Apple stuff, and so it can actually tie into all the stuff.

Craig: Because Apple’s already got a framework for how to be accessible for people who are blind.

John: It’s not like we created a special version for blind writers. We just did it properly and have proper labels on all the controls so he can hear what’s there. He will text me occasionally saying, “How do I do this one thing? How do I see what page number this is on?” It’s like, “We’ll fix that.”

Craig: We’ll figure that out. I think, Ken Testman, who makes Fade In listens to the show. I’m pretty sure that the way he wrote it is native for Mac.

John: It’s not.

Craig: Oh, it’s not.

John: That’s how he gets it to put on the PC too, because it’s it goes through Adobe Air. That’s the challenge. The web-based ones, in theory, should be relatively accessible because there are–

Craig: They’re agnostic?

John: It’s agnostic. What’s challenged is inside the browser window that these things are working. It’s like, can the reader actually figure out everything that’s inside there? But there is accessibility stuff for the web that should work. It’s a question of could Arc Studio or the other ones or Celtx, could they do better? Probably they should.

Craig: Let’s put this out there in the world and see if it’s something that these folks can do. He’s absolutely right. He could get, I guess, a “cheap” Mac.

John: Get a cheap Mac or iPad now because we work on that.

Craig: That’s the other thing. There may be something that is cost effective. It is a bummer to have to buy an entire computer just because the one piece of software that takes advantage of this stuff only works on that platform.

John: My guess is that Warren probably is using an iPhone because from every blind person I’ve spoken with they tend to go towards the Apple ecosystem when they can.

Craig: Because it works.

John: It works for them.

Craig: Then he could theoretically be working on iOS in Highland. That’s a possibility.

John: We’ll send him a code to the beta and see if it helps him out.

Craig: Sweet.

John: Cool. Last question here is from Dan.

Drew: I’ve been fascinated by Disney’s decision to turn the Moana TV series into a feature length movie. Do you know how writing credits would get determined in this situation? Assuming there was some writer’s room for the TV series, how do they decide who gets the screenplay writing credit, and how does this impact royalties?

John: Oh, boy.

Craig: What a spaghetti pile of trouble.

John: Let’s talk about this from a couple different levels. Writing credit is one thing. Let’s just talk about why you make the decision to originally do it as a series and make us a movie. I think it’s because this started in the pandemic, and they’re, like, “Oh, we need to make series for Disney Plus. We’ll do Moana.” Then it probably turned out– It was going to be really good and really expensive. They were, “We can make so much more money theatrically.”

Craig: If we make fewer episodes, like one big episode, and put it in theaters, it’ll– Because the animation’s expensive.

John: So in terms of credit, I will tell you that there’s other stuff behind the scenes, which is, you’re going to start seeing some teleplay body credits on theatrical movies, and it will drive me crazy. Craig is already shaking his head.

Craig: Jesus.

John: It’s because these things were contracted under TV contracts.

Craig: This is where I feel for our credits department because they are tasked with codifying a system that is routinely rocked by the insane things that happen in the industry. The employers have no concern whatsoever about it. Their whole thing is, “We hired you under a WGA deal. That was our responsibility. You guys handle credits. See ya. Just let us know what to put on the screen.” Then it’s up to the WGA to hash through this.

That is a very, very difficult question. If you have, let’s say, eight episodes and then you turn to another writer and you’re like, “Take all eight episodes. We’re hiring you to make a movie out of these. Pull stuff from all of them or none of them, whatever. Make a movie.” They’re all participating writers but they weren’t under the feature thing. How do you consider the contributions? It’s a mess and my heart goes out to the arbiters and the pre-arbiters who will have to deal with this. But that is what we do at the Writer’s Guild. We handle our own credits. It’s the best of the worst systems possible.

John: 100%. The answer is a lot of internal discussion and figuring out what is the best way to apply the rules as written to situations that are new.

Craig: I’ll say, I would rather that, I would rather deal with this rat’s nest than be like, say, another union in our town that’s just one person pick a name, that’s who did it. No, it isn’t. That’s not right, but that’s how they do it. Hint. It’s not SAG.

John: No.

Craig: It’s not IA.

John: Those IA credits is like “Cool. Which gaffer gets credit for this?”

Craig: Many gaffers.

John: Many gaffers.

Craig: Multiple gaffers.

John: All right, it’s time for one cool things. I have two, one cool things I want. First is a Netflix documentary by RJ Cutler on Martha Stewart called Martha. Some backstory here. Back when Dana Fox was my assistant, she and I would watch the original Martha Stewart show, the one-hour highly produced version almost every day. It was so good and so specifically Martha’s taste. You could tell she loved doing it and that she had absolute control over every little thing. Well, she went to prison for lying to the feds.

Craig: What a world we live in.

John: Then did a season of The Apprentice, and then did this talk show aversion, which you could tell she hated. I spoke to people who were guests on her show and she hated doing it. She really hated it.

Craig: Really?

John: Yes. In the documentary, she’s also clear she hates it. Anyway, this documentary is really delightful if you enjoy Martha Stewart. If you don’t like Martha Stewart, you might still find it fascinating.

Craig: You might still actually like it.

John: Because she is such a fascinating character because she’s very blunt and she has self-awareness, but not necessarily insight. You see-

Craig: It’s so weird.

John: – that she’s talking about these things like, well, you don’t understand that that’s not how any other person would respond to this situation.

Craig: Right. Well, she’s special.

John: She is special.

Craig: She’s special.

John: She had a very distant father who loved her very much, but loved her on very certain conditions. That tracks.

Craig: Definitely tracks.

John: I really recommend seeing this if, at all, interested in Martha Stewart on what she’s done. My other, it’s a good thing, it’s a one cool thing, is the replacement ear pads we got for our headphones. We use the very classic headphones that everybody uses, which is the Sony MDR-7506s, which are these great headphones. The covers are this pleather thing that just flakes away and it just leaves detritus everywhere.

Craig: It feels like the kind of thing where later, when we’re dead, they’ll pull us out of the ground to measure how much of the pleather was absorbed into our bones. Like, “Why did they both die on the same day under circumstances that are not really–“

John: Pleather.

Craig: It was the pleather. It’s just inhaling pleather flakes. What will we do when the podcast population is decimated by pleather flakes? We will all be happy.

John: Our new replacement pads for these headphones, but the headphones, they’re going to last forever, but the new pads have a mesh coating, which is not going to–

Craig: They’re very lovely.

John: We have two other small, tiny one cool things, which are two new babies born into the John August ecosystem. Stuart Friedel, our former Scriptnotes producer, welcomed his second child. Very excited for new baby on that front.

Craig: Weirdly, his second child was born and then it said, “Two weeks earlier.”

John: The Stuart special right there.

Craig: His child was born at two weeks of age, bizarrely.

John: That’s crazy.

Craig: Incredible.

John: Chad Creasey, who is also one of my former assistants who have been on the show also welcomed new baby. I love babies.

Craig: I do too and their world will be good and they will never know some things.

John: 100%.

Craig: They just won’t know.

John: They won’t know.

Craig: They won’t know. Lucky.

Well, I mentioned earlier an article in WIRED about California and setting the pace and we’ll dig that link up. There’s another WIRED article that I’m obsessed with right now. The title of it is the kind of title that generally I’m like, “Hungh.” The Quantum Geometry That Exists Outside of Space and Time. Now, usually, I go, “Ehh” because I’m like, “Either this is going to be some oversimplification bad science article like most of them are, or this will be impenetrable.”

There’s very little middle ground. This article actually appeared in Quantum Magazine and it has been, I guess, repurposed for WIRED and it’s outstanding. It does a great job of explaining what a big deal it is for how the mathematicians and physicists who think about the underpinnings of reality have started to reimagine it. It turns out that what was going on was we were stuck in a model. The model was all about what happens when collisions occur. The only way to figure it out was just to grind out like, “Here’s–“ oh my God, I think it was Feynman came up with the method, but it was the best we had.

Then through this combination of scientists, they’ve figured out like, “Oh no, no, this is a vastly simpler way to start to model how this works.” They reference it. They’re like, “It’s literally you could teach it to a fifth grader.” Which kind of makes sense. That when you really get down to it, what’s underneath, reality tends to weirdly be simple, like how weird is it that energy is mass times the speed of light squared? There’s three letters in that equation. What we keep finding when you really dig, dig, dig, dig, dig is it’s actually simple which is, of course, because we’re in a simulation, obviously.

Drew: No.

Craig: Of course, we are. We’re figuring it out right now. There’s no problem. It’s fine. Don’t let that upset you. Of course, it’s a simulation, but we’re figuring out how it works and we’re getting better at it, which I think is amazing.

John: It reminds me of you’ll see these formulas for weird things that don’t seem like they have anything to do with normal geometry and Pi is in there or E is in there.

Craig: Pi is a perfect example. Why does that keep showing up? Why would that be how circles work? Then when you look at it, you’re like, “Well, this totally makes sense.” They find that they can layer paths on polyhedrons in very simple ways to explain so much of what’s going on.

Now, I’m simplifying this because we don’t have the time for me to read this whole thing, but I would say if you are even a B-plus science student, and if you’re a B and lower, I’ll probably skip this one, but if you’re a B-plus science student–

Drew: You keep pointing at me when you say B or lower.

Craig: I don’t know how you were in school with this. I don’t know. See, I nailed it. B or lower.

John: He went to drama school.

Craig: Aww. Well, this isn’t for you. You take physics for poets.

John: Maybe have your wife explain it to you.

Craig: Yes. Have your wife explain this to you. Even if you have moderate scientific interest and capacity, this article really is mind-blowing and a great little, almost, like many science stories are, an exciting hunt with an awesome conclusion.

John: Oh, I love that. Very nice. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, edited by Matthew Chilelli. Outro this week is by Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. That is also the place where you can send questions like the ones we answered today. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find the transcripts and sign up for a weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have T-shirts and hoodies. They’re all great. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau.

You can sign up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net where you get all those back episodes and bonus segments. A reminder that we have a live show on December 6th. I thought we were sold out, but apparently, we still have some VIP tickets left. If you don’t have, come to that.

Craig: VIP tickets?

John: VIP tickets.

Craig: What do they get?

John: You get cool first-row things. What else?

Drew: You get a drink ticket, so free drink and you get to stick around for an after party where you get to meet John and Craig and me, and maybe some other guests.

Craig: I like that you slipped in you.

Drew: I’m important.

Craig: You’re like, “This is what’s going to move those VIP tickets, folks.” I agree with you. I think a lot of these people have already seen us. Megana is basically a celebrity.

John: If Megana is back, we’ll bring her too.

Craig: Ooh. Yes. Let’s bring Megana. Everybody. People love– When you graduate to Megana status, you too will be–

John: It’ll be a different, yes.

Craig: It’ll be a thing.

John: We had some great cast we got lined up.

Craig: Yes. We always do. Who will we be benefiting this time for this show?

John: This is Hollywood HEART. Hollywood HEART is a fantastic charity that helps kids who otherwise couldn’t go to summer camp, go to a special summer camp.

Craig: We’re doing what we can do to spread some joy and make things better.

John: That’s all we can do.

Craig: That’s all we can do. Craig, thank you so much.

John: Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

John: So Craig, as I mentioned on the pre-show or the early part of the show, whatever you want to call the intro, we went to Disneyland, which I had not been to for five or six years. Since pre-pandemic. It was good. It was a good distraction for this and it was already on our– I’ve talked about like Mike and I have this list of 24 for 24. We made a list of 24 things we wanted to do in 2024.

Craig: God, you guys are organized.

John: Going to Disneyland was one of them.

Craig: It was one of them.

John: Scratched that off the list.

Craig: Take that right off. My wife is a big fan of Disneyland. We have an old college friend of ours named Andrew. He’s a Disney adult. I wouldn’t say that Melissa’s a Disney adult, but she’s a Disney aficionado and she and Andrew will go, oh, probably three times a year. She goes quite a lot and she loves it. I haven’t been in quite some time.

John: Have you been there without kids?

Craig: I don’t know if I– maybe. Yes. One time. I do remember this very specifically. There was one time Melissa and I went with a couple of friends of ours, another husband and wife. It was four of us. We went to Disneyland, we did adult Disneyland. We made a reservation to eat dinner at the Blue Bayou. Melissa got food poisoning. We had to leave early. I will tell you this about my wife. She can hold on to not throwing up longer than anyone in the world who needs to throw up. That ride is not short. It’s like an hour. We drove, she just sat there clenching her jaw and trying to not throw up for an hour. Succeeded. Stepped out of the car and barfed.

John: Oh God.

Craig: It was like she was just waiting the whole time. Me, I’m like, “Pull over right now.” That, I think, may have been the last time.

John: Not a good memory there.

Craig: No.

John: No.

Craig: No, but a fun one because it’s funny now. I’m telling you, it’s an amazing thing to see somebody sit there for an hour. The second they open the car, they’re like, “Oh, good. Finally.” Blah. I’m like, “How did she do that?”

John: Incredible.

Craig: Oh my God. The willpower on this woman.

John: Part of the reason we wanted to go is we’d not been there since the whole Star Wars land opened up. Man, they did a great job with the Star Wars land.

Craig: See, I haven’t been there.

John: That Imagineering is fantastic. Rise to the Resistance is a great well-constructed narrative story in there, which is fantastic.

Craig: The showcase ride is on the Millennium Falcon or something?

John: There is a Millennium Falcon ride as well, which I didn’t think was quite as good. The full Millennium Falcon there is incredibly impressive. I took some photo there, which you should. There’s a ride that goes there, which I didn’t think was actually as good. It’s a little bit motion simulator kind of, I don’t really care.

Craig: Sure. We’ve done that before.

John: There’s some really good surprises in Rise to the Resistance, you get the Storm Troopers, you get like surly like Imperial Guard or First Order. Disney people being mean to you is just like a such a nice-

Craig: That’s hot.

John: -change.

Craig: That’s pretty hot.

John: Absolutely. I know you always like the empire and sort of the–

Craig: That’s my love language is park employees abusing me. I love that.

John: Really enjoyed that. It’s also just nice to see the attention to detail where we got our Bontu garden wraps, our veggie wraps at the little shop there. I was tapping to pay, but they even changed the font on the little card reader was like the Star Wars font.

Craig: Oh, the Star Wars font.

John: It was all tracked.

Craig: Well, they’ve always been great with the attention to detail-thing. That’s their bread and butter. I should go. I haven’t seen Star Wars land. Also Disneyland’s little shop borne in spots, but there are some things that are nice to see just for old-time’s sake.

John: Yes, 100%. You go through Frontierland, it’s like, “I don’t really care,” but I’ll get– Sure.

Craig: Sure. Every time Melissa goes, she and Andrew will do the Haunted Mansion I think every time. You could recite the Haunted Mansion at this point.

John: I was sad that Small World, which is my sort of Haunted Mansion. I just loved Small World for sure no good reason. It was not open the day that we went there.

Craig: Oh darn.

John: Oh darn.

Craig: Worst ride in the park.

John: Then over in California Adventure, which they’ve also done a good job sort of, it wasn’t terrific when they opened it up and they’ve done a good job recognizing their mistakes and fixing them. I loved Tower of Terror and I was actually attached to do a Tower of Terror movie at Disney, which didn’t end up happening. I have deep affection for it, but I would say the risk they did for Guardians of the Galaxy, again, the Imagineers did go through and really found clever small things. Like if you’re standing in line and reading little signs like on that sink, it’s like spinal fluid must be washed off. They’re finding all this stuff. They really do find all this stuff.

Craig: I would never ever go on Tower of Terror because I do not like the feeling of falling at all. I hate it. I just don’t understand it. I don’t understand how you find joy. I’m glad you did.

John: Yes. I did like it. There were some frustrations and so there’s no comment form I can fill out. So I’m going to put this on the podcast.

Craig: Disney will be alerted.

John: Disney will be alerted. We were in the line for the Guardians ride and they only had one of the elevators open. We basically got stuck in a place where we hadn’t moved for 20 minutes and we’re like, “No, no, no. We need to leave.” It’s actually really hard to get out of a line at Disney, especially in this one. We try to walk our way back and they’re like, “Oh, no, no. You have to walk all the way to the front and then they can let you out.”

Craig: You have to constantly say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m not cutting the line. I’m not cutting. I’m just trying to leave”?

John: Yes.

Craig: That’s terrible.

John: That’s not good design.

Craig: No, that’s not great.

John: Because people do need to leave people.

Craig: Sometimes they need to throw up.

John: Yes, exactly. If Melissa were there, she’d have to wait until-

Craig: She’s capable of it. She can do these things.

John: The other thing I would say is that there were situations where maybe they were training people or something, but we were waiting in line for five minutes to get a soda and they were like seven people at the counter–

Craig: That’s training.

John: That’s training. I felt like if I were the Disney executive, like Disney Park executive there, I would’ve had some strong words where whoever was letting guests wait around for five minutes.

Craig: Well, you went there on a Tuesday in the middle of the day.

John: That’s true.

Craig: That seems like that’s when they’re like, “Uuh.” They’re not training anyone on a Saturday.

John: The last thing I’ll say is, I fell down a little bit of a rabbit hole with– at California Adventure we went to where the Starbucks is and it’s this cafe thing. I could see there was branded stuff around it. Like, “What is this for?” It’s for the Silver Lake Sisters. It’s just like this weird imaginary story of this trio of sisters who were big singers in Los Angeles in the ‘20s who were inspired by Disney’s version of the Three Little Pigs. It was like this whole ouroboros like, and it was a fun, just brand essential because like no one would ever know or care. It felt like the way–

Craig: What a weird misfire. [chuckles]

John: Not actually misfire. I get it.

Craig: Really? It worked?

John: It kind of worked for me because I actually– I googled the fair like, “What is the deal with the Silver Lake Sisters? Were they a real thing?”

Craig: It would work if you’re a guy in your 50s doing adult Disney and like–

John: Who was supposed to write the Tower of Terror movie which they were actually– they tied into the Tower of Terror politics.

Craig: The Silver Lake Sisters.

John: Yes. They performed at the Hollywood Tower Hotel.

Craig: Got it. Inspired by Disney’s Three Little Pigs.

John: Inspired by Chateau Vermont.

Craig: It’s a big mess there.

John: It’s a big mess, but anyway, it made me think about sort of the stuff that we do in terms of storytelling. It’s about finding the story that will carry you through for two hours. The storytelling that Imagineers need to do is like, how do we make the experience of this place that you’re in rewarding for the time you’re there but feel like it actually has a bigger footprint than that? I think that’s a cool job.

Craig: Yes. It is a cool job. I never forgot when I was taking my kids to Disneyland or Disney World, because I took them there too. I never forgot how I felt when I went to Disney World as a kid, which was awe. I felt awe. I also remember how big it was because I was small. I think they do a really good job of that. There are things that I notice as an adult that I certainly didn’t notice as a kid. I didn’t notice the air vents in the ceiling of It’s a Small World.

John: Yes. Now you can’t help but see it. It’s just a black drop ceiling vents.

Craig: The first time I went on Pirates of the Caribbean, I honestly believed I was outside at night in the world. Now I’m like, that ceiling is not that far up. It really isn’t. Nice job painting it. You see everything because you’re grown and the scales have been lifted from your eyes. But the Imagineers do get how to create this for children. They know their audience. That’s why I actually love the whole adult Disneyland thing because it’s like we just love it now. We forgive it. It’s air vents.

John: I would say the Marvel Avengers area, it’s fine. The Cars Land, which I don’t like cars at all as a concept.

Craig: I’ve done the Cars Land, I believe.

John: Incredibly well-designed.

Craig: Yes, really well-designed. Because they know that’s where the kids are going. The experience of seeing the animated car people is really weird. It’s like the whole car thing is actually– I have so many questions. Do they have sex? Do they like–

John: Why does Mater have teeth?

Craig: Why does he have teeth? Why do cars race like cars even though they’re people and there are cars in the stands? I guess it’s like people watching people race, which we do, but with crashing. I have so many issues.

John: Drew, you were saying at lunch that the Marvel and Star Wars things were about the lifestyle of keeping people in the Disney ecosystem.

Drew: I heard that Disney basically has– They had for a long time too, a system that was like cradle-to-grave for women of like this is how you interact with the Disney ecosystem. When you’re a baby, it’s Mickey diapers through every phase of a woman’s life.

John: The Tinkerbell, the princesses.

Drew: You have your princess phase, you have all that stuff, through becoming a mother, and then, theoretically, the phase resets.

Craig: Resets.

Drew: That’s how you keep people in a loop. One of the reasons they bought Marvel and Star Wars was because they didn’t have that loop for boys.

Craig: Oh, that’s interesting.

John: Because it does make sense, then dads want to take their kids to see– to the Star Wars and all.

Craig: I get it. They’re like, we’ve mentally dominated half of the population. How do we mentally dominate the rest of them?

John: I did see a couple of folks who were clearly had been just married at Disney, but I also saw– one of my favorite things I saw was this group of 16 cousins. I know they’re all cousins because it was Cousins Trip 2024. On their back, they said, were they the Lopez or the Alvarado or Cousins by Choice? It was all checkmarked on the back of their shirt. I loved it.

Craig: The organization there is, coming from a family that was super isolated because everybody was in a feud with everybody, I’m always fascinated by the families with their matching shirts.

John: It was one or two women in the cousins who organized that whole thing. Of course.

Craig: Of course. Melissa’s family is pretty big. Melissa’s mother was the all-time organizer. She woke up in the morning and was like, “What can I be in charge of and how can I organize stuff?” Now that she’s gone and it’s sort of like– it was almost like everybody just went, “We’re not doing this anymore, right?” Yes. Because there were… There were so many events and they were fun and they were great and it’s actually sad, you need that bossy pants. You need bossy pants. You need bossy pants. To make you go have fun. You will have fun. But then you do.

John: Yes, absolutely. You need somebody to sort of take away some of your agency and you’re just making things. It’s like, no, this is what we’re going to do now. Full circle, folks. Craig, thank you for a fun episode.

Craig: Thank you, John. Thank you.

Links:

  • Scriptnotes LIVE! December 6th at Dynasty Typewriter
  • Even Under Trump, California (Yes, That Hellscape) Will Keep Moving the World Forward by James Fallows for WIRED
  • The Great Big Book of Horrible Things: The Definitive Chronicle of History’s 100 Worst Atrocities by Matthew White
  • And Yet It Moves by Ken White
  • Martha on Netflix
  • Replacement ear pads for Sony MDR-7506 headphones
  • The Quantum Geometry That Exists Outside of Space and Time by Charlie Wood for WIRED
  • Get a Scriptnotes T-shirt!
  • Check out the Inneresting Newsletter
  • Gift a Scriptnotes Subscription or treat yourself to a premium subscription!
  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
  • John August on Threads, Instagram, Twitter and Mastodon
  • Outro by Nick Moore (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, and is edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 664: Hollywood Got Old, Transcript

November 21, 2024 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hello and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listen to episode 664 of Scriptnotes, a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, how do you handle the anxiety of uncertainty? At times in life, particularly in this industry, you’re waiting around for an answer that’s going to have a direct impact on you. We’ll talk through strategies for navigating those situations. Then Craig, do you want to feel old? The president of production at New Line is 27. That guy at Fox, one person 28. Paramount Studio chief is 31, and by the time he’s 35, he’ll be the chairman of Disney. Craig, does that surprise you?

Craig: It doesn’t surprise me. It delights me because the odds that all of those people have been listening to Scriptnotes for the last 10 years is pretty high. I’ve always said this gig is our best job insurance.

John: Well Craig, unfortunately, we have traveled back in time secretly because that was actually true in the ‘80s and ‘90s, because all those people are well-known names you recognize, like Jeffrey Katzenberg or Mike De Luca, those folks were all running these studios when they were in their 20s and early 30s, and they’re no longer doing that. Now, Hollywood is run by folks in their 50s, 60s, 70s.

Craig: Basically, nothing changed. Those people that came along– You know John, when we started in the ‘90s, it did feel like there was– maybe it’s generational, there was this group of 20 somethings coming and going.

John: That was my Stark class coming into the industry.

Craig: “Everybody get out of our way. We’re taking this,” and then we did. We haven’t apparently let it go.

John: We have certainly not. We want to talk about the impact of that generation and how it influences what gets made and who gets to make it. We’ll also ask the question, Craig, is development wage theft?

Craig: Oh, well, strictly speaking those aren’t wages at all because it’s unemployment.

John: Yes, exactly.

Craig: It’s an independent contracting.

John: It is, yes.

Craig: It is technically.

John: We will talk through those and answer some listener questions. In our bonus segment for premium members, which aspects of pandemic life are we still practicing in 2024?

Craig: That’s some thought.

John: First, we have some actual news. We have some events coming up. We have our live show December 6th at Dynasty Typewriter here in Los Angeles. Tickets are now on sale for everyone.

Craig: That’s great. Now, we don’t have guests to yet announce.

John: Not yet announce. We have one who’s confirmed, who’s fantastic. I’m very excited about that. We’ll match folks in who will be great and equally fantastic.

Craig: We’ve never failed to get great guests. Even when we had trouble, we were going to have the-

John: Oh, yes.

Craig: -Larry Kasdan on and then he was not feeling well, so we just threw in some Jason Bateman and some Benioff and Weiss. We can do things like that.

John: We can do things. So I’m excited for our live show and excited for our guests. I’m also doing a second little event on November 22nd 6:30 PM in Village Well in Culver City. This game we make, Alpha Birds, they’re having a night which is just playing Alpha Birds. We’ll be there.

Craig: Oh, cool.

John: Folks can have a drink and play some Alpha Birds. We’ll show you how to play it.

Craig: I love a game store.

John: Game stores are good. Game stores with a liquor license, even better.

Craig: I was confused there, but if they can afford that, amazing.

John: That’s good stuff. You’ll find links in the show notes to both of those events if you are in Los Angeles and want to come to those. Now, Craig, we are recording this episode on a weekend. Drew is not here, so it’s just the two of us.

Craig: Finally.

John: We have no supervision.

Craig: We can just do whatever we want instead of mommy yelling at us.

John: This episode will come out on Tuesday, which in the United States is election day. We’re not going to talk about the election, but I do want to talk about anxiety as a general phenomenon because independent of what day or what’s happening in the world, there are moments, especially as a screenwriter or someone working in this industry where you are waiting around for an answer to come or something to happen.

It could be that you’ve turned in a scripture waiting for notes, you are waiting for the results of a medical procedure, and sometimes those are worse than the actual news itself, is the anxiety that builds up about waiting around for that. I just want to talk through some general strategies you’ve learned over the years and things I’ve found to be useful.

Craig: Sure. You put your finger on one of the biggest challenges we have as human beings, and that’s uncertainty. We really struggle with it. What we try to do, I think instinctively is solve it. There’s a problem. I’m scared of blank. It always starts with fear. I’m scared of blank. How do I solve that? Maybe if I just ruminate and perseverate, and think it through and seek reassurance, which is our number one strategy, then I can make the fear go away. In fact, reassurance seeking really is just pointless. It’s not going to change the reality of what happens.

John: I think let’s look at it from a point of view of screenwriters, because as screenwriters, we are problem solvers. We see situations out there in the world. We’ve created these situations for our characters or in our scripts, and we are looking for what those solutions are. We talk about it on the podcast, sometimes you just need to stop and think and actually work through it and figure out what that is. That is true and useful in fictional worlds in which we’re creating where we can change all the rules. But in this real world, we can’t change those rules.

I think, Craig, one thing you’re saying is, we are trying to solve a problem that we cannot solve by accepting that there’s not a solution to the problem that is in our control is a crucial first step.

Craig: It’s hard, because you’re right. We are used to being in complete control of the narrative. We can go around and change things and do whatever we want. We are all of us living inside a reality that we narrative eyes, but it is not a narrative, and we just don’t know. The things that we don’t know, we don’t know are vast. You and I have been in positions before where we may see people worrying about something that we are making. It hasn’t come out yet, but they’re worrying.

They’re worrying because they care, which is a good sign. It’s better than them not caring, but sometimes they will express their fear in statements of certainty because they’re looking for certainty. It is sometimes easier for them to say, “You know what? This is going to be bad and I’m going to hate it. I’m not going to watch it. I’m not going to care,” because the alternative was just to sit in my uncertainty for months and months and months is intolerable. But what we know on our side of things is, “Hey, we actually made something good. Wish we could show it to you right now to calm you down. Can’t, but we will.”

I think sometimes that’s how things work with politics. All we see is what we’re shown, but we don’t know. We don’t know what they know.

John: Absolutely. Pulling it back to more our industry, we are waiting for an answer sometimes from a decision maker, and that decision maker is also facing uncertainty. That decision maker is like, “Am I making the right choice? Am I not making the right choice? What is the safest course? What is the most likely course that is not going to result in a disaster?”

Recognizing sometimes from their point of view, they don’t know either. It can be frustrating, but also reassuring that we’re all feeling our way around in this situation.

Craig: We want to believe that the people that control things are supremely confident, and they’re not, nor are they perfect, nor may they even be confident in what they are doing. And they may also be struggling with those problems that we don’t know about. They may want to say yes. The problem is they’ve been told they’re not allowed to say yes currently because they’re in a fight with somebody over something they just said yes to. How that all functions and flows is really hard to comprehend, so don’t. Don’t bother. The waiting, in and of itself, disappears as waiting if we just stop waiting. Don’t wait. Just move on with your life.

John: Let’s talk about the moving on of it all, because there’s the moving on you can do with the actual situation you’re faced with. With the project that you’re waiting for an answer from this one person, it’s worth interrogating. Like, “Am I actually waiting for this person? Does that yes or no really matter, or could I be doing something else that’s useful and productive on this? Am I waiting for this person to give me a thumbs up or thumbs down, or should I be showing this to other people, because that may be the smartest thing to do, or should I just be working on that next project?” And that is often really the best choice.

Craig: You can’t go wrong doing more work.

John: Yes.

Craig: That’s generally speaking a win-win. I think that agents and managers who listen to this are probably very familiar with the feeling of a client calling saying, “Why aren’t we doing anything?” The answer is there’s nothing to do, but that’s not a great answer to give a client because, A, they’re looking for reassurance, reassurance through action. The notion that we are in control of things, if only we did A, B, or C. Also, it’s not an easy thing to say to a client that right now you have no utility to them. This is something that I think representatives struggle with a lot of times.

They know there’s nothing to do, or they know that maybe there will be something to do, but in a month. The stuff again that we don’t know, what we don’t know is that five days from now, somebody’s going to mention this to somebody, who’s going to mention it to somebody, who’s going to mention it to Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is going to say, “What? Let me read that,” and reads it and says, “I want to do this.” Then everything changes. We have no way of seeing any of that because it’s in the future. It hasn’t occurred yet, nor is it predictable.

We have to unfortunately accept that we are only in control of what goes on the page, and very little else.

John: For sure. What I don’t want anyone to take from this conversation is the sense of that you have no agency, you have no control, you have no ability to make decisions yourself. You absolutely do. If you are getting no answer from an agent or a manager over a period of time, and they seem to be doing nothing, and you write in a letter saying, “My agent or manager seems to be doing nothing,” that is a concern. Then you should bring up that concern and consider looking for new representation. That’s a story as old as this time.

What we’re I think trying to stress is that, it’s worth asking, what is the roadblock? When you find out what that roadblock is, you realize there’s nothing I can do about that roadblock. I have a project right now that we should be going out to the town with, but there’s a roadblock based on the rights holder that has to be resolved, and there’s nothing I can do to force that to happen more quickly.

Craig: Exactly. There is nothing you can do. The people that work for you, you do have control over. You pay your agent. You pay your manager. That is an enormous amount of control. If they’re not fulfilling what you think is a service that you’re paying for, then you fire them and you find somebody else, but the people that we’re asking money from, and I don’t know if you’ve– I think you must have experienced this, as time goes on, we get more and more comfortable with the practice of submitting something and then literally forgetting you submitted because there’s something else to do.

When you get called about that thing, it is a pleasant surprise, but if you have kept yourself moving, if you get a call that’s an unpleasant surprise, well, let’s now talk about what else we can do there, or do we just end it? Either way, I’m moving forward. I’ve already been moving forward. What I haven’t been doing is sitting by the phone, chewing my fingernails.

John: Yes, for sure. There’s a general framework in terms of thinking about what’s on your side, your circle of control. What are the things you can actually control versus your circle of concern? There are things in the world that you are concerned about. You have strong opinions about things you want to see happen in a certain way, the health of your family, the environment, our general political system, those are issues that are well within your circle of concern, but they’re not necessarily in your circle of control.

There’s not a thing you can do specifically to solve that problem. So it’s worth interrogating, well, what are these small actions I can take that will advance that goal? That’s great because that will make you feel that you have some utility and some agency in that cause. Tomorrow, I am phone banking. Phone banking is like, “Listen, I might talk to three people and nudge them on, but that’s great.” It’s going to make me feel better and could potentially be helpful in a swing state. It’s recognizing that there’s limits to what I can do. There’s no more big checks I could write that would actually have an impact.

Craig: Yes. And I think often of the lesson that our grandparents must have faced when they lived through a war, which you and I have not lived through, not on the scale of World War I, World War II. We were barely alive for Vietnam. We weren’t around for Korea. The wars that followed, the engagement by United States forces were so limited compared to those. No drafts. There has been a draft since Vietnam war.

John: We had 9/11 and it was the closest we had to be an assault on us.

Craig: 9/11 actually, in and of itself, is a pretty interesting lesson in uncertainty because if someone had said two weeks earlier, something horrible was going to happen on United States soil and we’re counting down and you all know what it is, that would have been a horrible two weeks. But the fact is, the act itself would have been no different. Anticipation and uncertainty, in and of themselves, are a kind of torment. We are capable of withstanding a lot of it, more than we think, but part of withstanding it is recognizing for what it is, something over which we have no control.

John: Let’s talk about why we worry and why anxiety exists because I think it is a useful evolutionary function. We have it. Other mammals have it. Clearly, other things, too. Can be stressed out about the future. As humans, we have a much stronger vision of the future. We can narrativize these things and catastrophize these things, but in some ways, that helps protect us and helps keep us alive. The challenge is, it was designed to keep us away from predators. It was not designed to deal with weird nebulous existential threats.

Craig: Yes. We have a system in place neurologically that keeps us alert and creates a state of vigilance. Vigilance, on some level, is important. If you cut yourself and then just ignore it, your arm’s going to get infected. Gangrene will sit in. You’ll either die or lose your arm. If you get a sense that your spouse is spending a whole lot of time with someone else, you may want to investigate that. There are reasons for vigilance, but hypervigilance over your life is toxic. I know this because I’ve literally had to deal with this in therapy.

The notion of over-vigilance in the sense that if you do not provide Ryan Reynolds style maximum effort to self-examination and the state of your career, your life, whatever it may be, it’s all going to fall apart. Problematic. Not helpful. Doesn’t actually keep you any safer. Just blows those circuits out and you end up spending all of your time scared.

John: I think it’s worth thinking about, how do we put some limits on the time and space we’re allowing ourselves to worry or letting ourselves worry at places and then also not worry about places. Things I do for myself is I basically will not look at social media on my phone after 8:00 PM just because I know that I recognize that creates a pattern of a doom loop that it’s hard for me to break out of.

Rachel Bloom in her special on Netflix, she talks about the huge grief she was going through and the fear about her daughter, and her daughter just being born right at the start of the pandemic and losing Adam Schlesinger, her therapist would say, “Have a room in your house where you can go and cry and cry in that room, and give yourself that space, but then leave that room and leave all that anxiety in that room,” which is a useful way of thinking about it. Just actually put that in a place and recognize that that’s the place for that, but don’t let it infest the rest of your world.

Craig: Yes, you need a chance to feel what you’re feeling. You can’t beat anxiety by yelling at it, but putting it in perspective, which is what that sounds like is what you need to do. Part of it is just recognizing what it is. It’s a bunch of feelings that are happening, like having to cough. If you have to cough, cough. Get it out. But while you’re coughing, don’t think I’m dying because I’m coughing or I’ll never stop coughing. I guess my life is now coughing. It’s not how it works.

John: It’s also worth recognizing that sometimes you feel a physical thing and then you reverse engineer that to say this is anxiety. Last night, I was like, “Oh my God, my anxiety is off the charts.” It was like, “Oh, no, I’m actually just cold.” I haven’t turned on the heat in the house. I’m actually shivering because of that. That’s actually what’s doing it. It felt the same as my anxiety felt. I put on a sweater.

Craig: My version of that is sometimes I get that butterfly in the stomach feeling, jittery, and I presume immediately that there’s a reason I’m scared. What is the reason? Why am I scared? I’m not scared. I’m experiencing a physical symptom of fear because some adrenaline is squirting out errantly. Happens to me all the time. I’ve come to notice there are moments where something suddenly triggers “fear” in me that is nothing, like looking at a tree and I suddenly, “Something’s wrong.” I’ve come to understand, “No, nothing’s wrong.” Something hormonal in my body just went blah.

I don’t have a good alarm system. My alarm system is broken. In fact, and I don’t know if this is true for you, since we both suffer from anxiety, where I excel is when there really is trouble. In those instances, I am incredibly calm, clear, direct, problem-oriented, no panic, nothing. It’s the tree, or I don’t know, something, a smell that just suddenly makes me think, “Oh, no, I’m dying.”

John: It’s more like, how could I have possibly said that thing to that person 20 minutes ago?

Craig: Or 20 years ago.

John: Yes.

Craig: Oh, absolutely. Listen, we also have shame loops on our heads and all that stuff. It’s just, we have to deal with it. When we’re talking about writers, people who their brains are attuned to imagination and whose brains are attuned to finding horrible things, that’s what we do with our imaginations. Horrible psychological things, emotional things, incidental things, then, yes, surprise, we don’t feel so good sometimes when we have to fill a space of unknown with potentials.

Yes, people are sitting around right now, thinking, “Well, if the person that I don’t want to be president is president, I am imagining the following horrible things happening.” Our imagination in that fear is not particularly useful. What is useful is just good old-fashioned dispassionate planning. Preparing, helping, strategizing.

John: Yes, for sure. Last little things I’ll say. If you do find yourself in that doom spiral loop, some tricks to get out of it, and you can google other ones too but things that I found are useful, literally dunking your head in ice water, sounds crazy, but it kicks off this primal, like that. I don’t know. That sounded like drowning, but there’s some primal thing it takes off. It’s like it can snap that for a second. I will listen to my political podcast while I’m running because it doesn’t have the same valance when you’re running.

Just things that you can do to make sure that you are inoculating yourself as best you can from those ups and those downs.

Craig: I’m not surprised that that’s the experience you have when you’re running because perhaps the single most effective anxiety breaker is oxygen. We stop breathing. And as you experience a minor hypoxia, the panic will increase because your brain is also designed to have you panic if it thinks you’re drowning. So as stupid as it is, deep breathing works 100% of the time. It is so frustrating that that is the case. While you’re doing it, it’s not working until suddenly, it’s worked, and it’ll be a minute maybe.

John: Yes, or someone tells you to drink a glass of water and that’s the stupidest thing ever and yet it still, it does help.

Craig: There are these things because what we’re experiencing is a simple mistake in the wiring. We don’t like thinking that we’re that dumb of a machine, but we are. We are that dumb of a meat machine.

John: Yes, for sure. All right, let’s move on to our next topic here. This is inspired by an article by Mia Galuppo, writing for The Hollywood Reporter. Her article is titled The Big Squeeze: Why Everyone in Hollywood Feels Stuck, but what’s really about is this sense, as we were talking about in the lead up here, is that when we were entering the industry, it felt like there were a lot of young people, a little older than us, but our age, who were suddenly running the town, they’re presidents of production, they’re heads of studios, they were doing all those jobs.

Over the years, we talk about the ladder and we talk about the importance of making sure those lower rungs of the ladder are actually available for people who are entering the industry, but I don’t think we talk enough about like, “Well, the upper rungs of the ladder.” If people are just staying on the ladder, there ends up being no place to climb to. When we see executives who are now turning 70, running those jobs, the people who used to be 35 in those positions are now in their 50s and 60s. It creates this log jam where there’s not a space for the folks who should be climbing to climb to.

Craig: Well, there is a space, the space is the same. That was always there. The space is I’m going to kick this old man out and take over. That’s why CAA exists. Four agents said, “We’re leaving William Morris, screw this old man. We’re starting our own place. We’re taking all these clients with us and now CAA is the biggest agency in the world.” I think after it bought ICM, it’s at least maybe endeavors, I don’t know, but they’re up there. Point being, they were called the Young Turks.

John: They were.

Craig: They are all not young. One of the things I’m wondering about is the state of ambition. Along with ambition is its opposite, which is, I guess I would call despair or helplessness. The sense that what you’re trying to get is impossible to get, but you’re trying to break into an impervious vault. Sometimes I wonder if it is generational, because when you and I started, our ambition was to be something in the entertainment business. What we didn’t have was the distraction of everyone else’s life on 24/7 in a reality show.

We did not have any need nor ability to document our lives for other people to see what other people were doing. There are so many distractions, and in a way, I think also– Are you familiar–? We talked about this with Rebel Wilson, Tall Poppy syndrome.

John: Oh, for sure.

Craig: Tall poppy syndrome, I think grows pretty well in social media. The sense that, “Oh, someone’s getting too good or too fast, or they’re too ambitious or whatever, let’s knock them down.” That becomes an ingrained feeling you have when you enter a business like, “Oh, we should all just sort of be leveled out here.” Whereas when you and I started, it was a law of the jungle.

John: Yes, for sure. Thinking back to when I was entering the industry, it felt like it was musical chairs and there were actually just plenty of chairs. There was space for everybody was entered into the industry as things were expanding and more opportunities were opening up, television was expanding. The boundaries between film and television were collapsing. There was opportunities to do new things. I do feel like that time is also happening now in terms of whatever you want to say about YouTube or sort of all the creator-generated videos, which is a whole sort side industry that’s there and it’s actually successful.

What is different about the industry now versus when you and I started though, is even though the big corporations had boards of directors, and they were publicly traded companies, they weren’t publicly traded companies in the same way. Disney was not as big as it was. Warner’s Discovery was not as big as it was, and there wasn’t the expectation that the people who were at the helm of those companies had to be titans of industry for Wall Street.

Craig: Right. The ladder ended at a certain spot, and that spot was movie mogul, I’m in charge of the studio. And now, you’re absolutely right. I think when Sony came in and bought Colombia, it was the beginning of something, although Gulf Western Oil had bought Paramount, but still, when you read about the creation of The Godfather and Charlie Bluhdorn, who’s going back and forth from East Coast to Hollywood and trying to broker peace between all these people and Bob Evans and everybody, yes.

It definitely had a little bit less of, I’m trying to run for president of this nation-sized corporation, but still, we make more television now than we ever did before. I think where the squeeze happened is mostly in the area of producing. When we started, there were 4 million producers and all of them had a deal somewhere because the way the business worked was there were five executives who couldn’t handle everything, and then there were 100 producers on the lot.

All of them shoved into some space with an assistant and a creative executive, all of them absorbing massive amounts of money and almost all of them worthless. That is an area where contraction occurred and did eliminate a lot of pads for people to excel because a lot of people went to those useless places, clearly out shunned the people that had hired them and went on to bigger and better things.

John: Now, a person who enters the industry saying, “I want to make movies.” If they’re not there to be a writer director, if they’re there to be because they want to be a producer or they want to be a studio executive, I think that’s a very different and very frustrating path ahead for them versus my Stark class, when we came out of there, that was technically a producer’s program. We had four people who really became producers quite quickly, others who became agents. There was just a sense of like, we are going to take over this part of the town, and it’s so much harder now.

Yes, there’s other paths. There’s independent film, there’s ways to make things that are exciting. You’re not entering into the classic system to make a thing.

Craig: Yes, I think the rise of management companies has largely replaced the massive tide of questionably valuable production companies. Now, managers are producers as well, and there are more of them than ever. Managers seem to want to take on writers sooner than agencies would. If you wanted to be a manager, I suppose that there are a lot of find your way onto a desk, work your way, but I talk to agents at all the agencies, and when I’m talking to senior agents or partners and things, there is a theme. It’s not from all of them, but it’s from some of them.

The theme is, we’re worried, well, let’s go back to anxiety about the future, because the people who are coming in don’t seem to have the same insatiable hunger for success that we had. We’re not sure there’s any way to succeed in Hollywood if it’s not with an insatiable hunger. You can’t half-hunger your way to success in Hollywood.

John: I think I hear that sometimes with a sense that a generation wants permission to do a thing. They’re always looking for approval, rather than just like, “Screw you, I’m going to do this thing anyway.” I was watching Saturday Night, which is the Jason Reitman movie about the creation of the first episode of Saturday Night Live. What is notable about that is that everyone in that story is in their 20s.

Craig: Oh, yes.

John: Which is absurd. It seems really crazy now that you would trust a person in their early 20s with this big swath of television live, and it’s a big risk. The movie pauses that there was a calculation behind that, that made sense. I do think that the equivalent person now is not trying to do that on NBC. They’re doing something completely different on a YouTube or whatever. I was talking to two friends this week who I ended up connecting, one of whom works in this YouTube space and works with a bunch of creators and they can just make anything. They can do anything.

They have money and they’re successful and they can do stuff. He’s like, “Oh, I need to hire a showrunner for something.” I’m like, “Okay, well, tell me what that means.” He was describing this thing. It’s like, “Okay, that’s not actually a showrunner. I think you want a non-writing producer who can godfather and sort of be a creative liaison.” It’s like, “Oh, yes, okay then, that’s what it is.” I talked to my friend who is probably the right person for that, but it comes out of the classic studio system.

I had to warn both of them, make sure you actually are figuring out what your common language is, because I don’t think you’re using the same terms for nearly anything. I do wonder if it’s going to be a really parallel thing that’s going to rise up and we’ll have to figure out how it fits back in.

Craig: Well, and it might not.

John: Yes, it might not.

Craig: Of course, you and I don’t need to figure it out. Other people do, but there is a question of what is it that people do want? The insatiable hunger people have reasonably, I think, drifted to a place where their hunger will pay off quicker and perhaps more. I don’t know if it will stay as steady as some Hollywood success can stay. If you really can find your way into this business, prove that you have great value, you will have length. It’s hard because a lot of people who I think are worthy just can’t get to that place where they’re able to Velcro on.

In YouTube, yes, I think it’s a little trendy. So people light up and sometimes they explode because of bad behavior. We see that quite a bit. Sometimes people just start laughing at them. You started as something, you became a discovery, you became super-hot, you were an incredible trend, and then the memes began, and now, you’re a joke. That cycle is going to have to happen a few times for people to start to question whether or not it’s worth it.

The amount of money that can be made does seem to make it worth it but there is something about the legitimacy of what we do in Hollywood. The world still takes it more seriously. There’s no question about that.

John: You look at like the success of a Mr. Beast and what he’s able to do and you have the spotlight on you and so you as an individual are such a focus, but he’s both like the star and the Jeffrey Katzenberg of this studio that he is built. There’s something very great about that and something that an only person in their 20s is able to do. That’s notable. It’s a question of like, is that sustainable, is it repeatable for other people?

Craig: Right now, he’s in some trouble. This does seem to happen quite a bit and I’m not surprised because people are in their 20s. This often happens to them in Hollywood as well.

Mike De Luca is a very interesting story, because in his 20s, he was suddenly boom running something and then there was some scandal and there was a bit of an explosion and he crashed to Earth and then got himself well, did the work. It was decades. Now, he’s-

John: Running a studio.

Craig: -one of the people that runs Warner Brothers. That can happen. There are also some really tough stories out there, Maloney and other guys like that. Was Maloney, who died?

John: Jay Moloney?

Craig: Jay Moloney, just superstar agents. Don Simpson, superstar producer went kaboom and that was that.

John: I don’t think we have a great takeaway for this segment other than to recognize that the individuals who would’ve been the executives in Hollywood just I think recognize that there wasn’t a space for them there and they found other industries, they found other points to do it. I think tech took a lot of them.

Craig: Tech did take a lot of them. I do think still there are people in our industry who are in their 20s who are perhaps a little over-intimidated. Because of the size of our business, they feel like it’s impossible to slash and burn your way to the top. It’s not. Somebody has to. I recommend ambition. I recommend thinking big. It’s the only way it’s going to work. When you have a system where everyone gets comfortable with 32-year-old assistants, that system is broken.

John: Agreed. Let’s talk about this next article. This is from Elaine Low writing for The Ankler. The provocative headline is Development is Wage Theft. Let’s talk about what we mean by development. Development is I am bringing in a writer and talking with them about this project that we want to do together. It might be developing it internally and then we’re going to go out and take it on the town and pitch it or it’s a project that we’re developing internally to the studio. We own a book and we are going to figure out a way to develop it into a TV series, into a movie. That’s classically development.
Development can be paid. Development largely classically was paid where there was a sense of, “Okay, we are going to go through multiple drafts on this thing and get it to a place where you can fill it into director.” There’s a lot of unpaid development, which happens because you’re figuring out what is this thing we’re then going to pitch up to my bosses to other people.

This article is really focusing on the collapse of the traditional TV cycle, where we announce these are the fall shows, and then in the spring, we go through a cycle, where we have people write a bunch of pilots, and then we shoot some of the pilots and we go through. With that all collapsing, the time spent in development on stuff has just escalated beyond the normal boundaries of how much time writers are supposed to be working on things.

Craig: There are so many different aspects of development. Let’s talk about the pre-sale development. Is pre-sale development wage theft? No. Because you are creating intellectual property yourself. Nobody gets paid to imagine dream or write anything. They get paid when they license it for a publication or they get paid when they transfer copyright to somebody. That’s how that works. There are no wages to steal there. Nobody is entitled to be paid while they think of maybe something that could be a book.

When it comes to development underemployment, now the company owns the copyright and now you are going through drafts of things. In movies, we’ve always had this issue because we were paid for a draft. We used to be paid for two, then they started saying, “We’re just going to guarantee you one.” Then you would do a gazillion drafts before you turn that draft in mostly for one of these useless producers. All of whom were terrified that if this movie didn’t get made, they were never going to get paid anything themselves.

In certain cases, when people weren’t paid very much, when you broke it out over the course of weeks, they were dipping below WGA minimum. And we’ve been struggling with that since as long as you and I have been in this business. It helped a little bit. Something that I’d been pushing since 2004 when I was on the board, and now, if you are near a certain amount, you get a guaranteed second step, which is helping. Television suffered a far more serious situation where the advent of mini rooms, which is the stupidest name to describe what that is– I’m going to stop calling them mini rooms.

Let’s call them development rooms. Let’s call them pre-green light rooms. The network or streamer is saying, “We’re going to pay you. We own this idea now. We’re not sure if we’re going to make it. You guys go work on it for eight weeks and then we’ll decide if we’re going to make it. At that point, we’ll probably fire seven of you. The one of you that’s left will write this thing.” Is that wage theft? Not necessarily. It’s wage limitation. It’s a lack of job security.

But that one person who’s left over now may have so much time to work on stuff under one aspect of, yes, it can turn into wage theft, but what the Writers Guild needs to figure out — and this is where we are complicit — is how to solve the problem of writers being paid like producers because we don’t have any control over that. And for the longest time and continuing, networks and streamers say, “We’re going to pay you Writers Guild minimums or roughly minimums to make sure you get healthcare and pension. The rest of all the money we pay you will be as a producer.” That’s the wild west.

Writers and agents have generally liked it because it means they didn’t have to pay as many dues. While you and I were paying 1.5% of every dollar we made on movies, people who are making $50 million a year, were paying less than dues. We still have this problem. We’re complicit. I don’t know the answer to this.

John: We talk about mini rooms and how they divvy up the labor in ways that it is so frustrating. The other problem is just time. Classically in television, because there was a cycle, you knew when you were done and you just don’t know when you’re done now in television because we’re developing this thing, but we don’t think it’s quite ready yet, or it’s not the right time to go to this thing, so you’re just being strung along for a long time on a project in ways that is familiar to feature writers, but is new to TV writers.

These TV writers are like, “I have this thing that looks like it’s maybe going to happen, but is it going to happen? Should I try to staff on another show? What should I do?” It’s creating these impossible situations where you’re trying to figure out like, “I want to be available to actually run my show, should the opportunity come up. But I don’t know whether this is going to happen.” Year-round development makes that much trickier. There’s generally not a clock on these things. It doesn’t stop at a certain point.

Craig: No. The season still exists for network television because network television is reliant on ads and that’s when the ad cycles new cars come out in the fall and all that. But the vast majority of streaming is not on any kind of calendar. There is no predictability. The Writers Guild has done some good work in helping writers not get trapped by exclusivity where you say, I’m going to be exclusive to this thing for as long as it gets developed and then the development phase stretches out in an insane way and you’re sitting around doing nothing but you can’t go anywhere else.

John: You’re not contractually barred from doing that thing, but there’s a soft way that you’re stuck to a thing.

Craig: We’re trying to work on that. I think also, the business representatives aren’t stupid. They are trying to make money, too. What I think is going to start happening is a little bit like when you get on a Southwest flight from Burbank to Las Vegas and they get on the thing and say, “Oh, we have overbooked this flight. We’re going to need two people to volunteer to get the F off this flight.” We’re going to overbook people. It’s inevitable. We’re going to overbook people because this is the behavior it is, because they’ve created that situation.

If you are successful enough to be, to have multiple people interested in you, that’s what’s just going to happen. You’re going to have to double-book stuff. I don’t know how else to get around it. They’re going to have to deal with it. If you are, however, a writer that is psychologically reliant on the notion of a cycle, well, it’s over. Welcome to the world that you and I lived in and continue to live in, which is there is no cycle, there is no calendar. There is a constant entrepreneurialism that is required.

John: It’s a hustle. Let’s answer some listener questions. The first one comes from a person you and I both know, but we’re not going to use their name. M writes, “My writing partner and I were sent a feature script by a producer we’ve worked with before. He has his producer set up at Studio A and is looking for a rewrite. Now, what he doesn’t know is that about 10 years ago, my writing partner and I, wrote a script for Studio B with virtually the same premise. It’s not the most original premise. We know of another project out there with the same basic idea. Our scripted Studio B is dead, as far as we know. In fact, the division it was written for no longer exists.

If we were to get this rewrite job at Studio A, I imagine that we’ll be borrowing certain themes, ideas, and jokes that we used in our old script for Studio B. Are there any legal issues we could face doing that? Should we inform Studio A about the situation? If so, can we wait until after we get the job? Any thoughts, Craig, would be appreciated.

Craig: Well, it is something that should be disclosed. If you do it after you get the job, you can still get in trouble because everybody’s contract very clearly states that you warrant this work is wholly original that you’re going to do. It is important, yes, to disclose it. I don’t think it would be anything anyone will be scared of, but the studio and business affairs would need to take a look at that other script to make sure that in the new script, you’re not taking anything that is intellectual property from that first one. If it’s possible to go and buy that one from the defunct or whatever the inherited company is, that might be one way to get around this.

Personally, I think it needs to be disclosed because the worst possible situation would be to get all the way to a movie about to come out, and whoever does own that script, they’re just waiting. If they see this happen, they don’t do anything. They wait. They’re waiting for the moment of maximum leverage, which will be three weeks before your movie comes out, and then they will file an injunction, and now everyone’s in trouble. And Studio A is going to have to pay a ton of money to Studio B to shut them up and let the movie come out, and then you will be blamed.

John: I think, Craig, you’re envisioning a scenario which you’re taking stuff from the other thing. You’re recognizing that there’s things that are going to be naturally lifted from that first script into that second script. I think I’m seeing this in a different way. It’s like, we wrote a baseball movie for Studio A and now they’re hiring us to write a baseball movie for Studio B, do I need to disclose I’ve ever written a baseball movie before? No, I don’t think so.

Craig: Well, yes, if it’s that broad, of course, no. I wrote a comedy for this [unintelligible 00:42:16], I can write a comedy for you, a sports baseball movie, I could write 12 baseball movies. Ron Shelton has written dozens of sports movies, but this sounds a little more specific. The thing that made me nervous was when they said jokes. When you’re talking about stuff that is a unique expression in fixed form, you’re now talking about material that is copyrighted, and then you do have a problem.

Furthermore, people don’t need to have an airtight case to sue, they just need a good enough reason to sue. I would be concerned enough to just say, “Actually, we want to be fully forward about this. We did this, we can’t use any of that. What we can do, however, are things that aren’t copyrighted, theme, ideas, of course.” Personally, I would disclose it. I don’t know who their lawyer is, but if your lawyer says, “No, don’t disclose it.” They’re their lawyer, they know better than I do, but I would.

John: The reality is, as Craig says, you can get sued for any reason.

Craig: Sure.

John: Ron Shelton could get sued if there’s someone saying like, “This baseball movie you wrote for us is too much like the baseball movie you wrote for somebody,” or something like that. It can happen. It’s not likely to happen.

Craig: Every time something happens that’s successful, somebody sues somebody. That’s inevitable, but most of the time, 99% of the time, it’s just dumb phishing expositions that get chucked out of court. You and I have reported so many times on these things. Not once, not once has anybody won one of these things, but that’s different than a studio suing a studio. That’s a very different thing. When studios sue studios, they have a case.

John: They do.

Craig: And that means there’s going to be some sort of settlement, and the closer it is to that moment where you are going to suffer tremendous financial loss if your movie cannot actually be shown in theaters on the weekend you’ve booked, you’re going to pay.

John: Can you think of any examples where a studio has sued another studio over –?

Craig: I don’t remember a specific case of a major studio suing a major studio openly. I think there have been situations where major studios have called major studios and said, “We’re going to sue you, let’s start talking about this before we file an injunction, and so forth.” But Major studios have sued small studios repeatedly, repeatedly.

It’s because smaller studios, and when I say– I’m not talking about independent studios making art films like A24, I’m talking about, for lack of a better term, schlockmeisters, who are selling rip-offs anyway.

Well, you can rip off to a point, and then when you get into that area of intellectual property, that’s when they come up for you and that’s what they get you, and they typically win.

John: Let’s try one more question here. This is from Michelle. She’s writing, “I would love to hear more about the pros and cons of the cost-plus model and how it’s calculated. I’ve heard general discussions about the lack of residuals, but I don’t understand how the math maths. Is it more money upfront? Does this help shows with modest viewership, but hurt big hits? If Netflix takes the risk on whether it will be a big hit, is it helpful to the average show or new writers? Does this affect writers differently from actors? It sounds like the industry was hoping that Netflix would change its model, but didn’t. What does someone like Shonda do?”

Craig: Well, Shonda is certainly in a different situation because Shonda is getting paid an enormous amount of money just to be there at all. The cost-plus model basically says, “We’re going to give you the amount of money required to make the show, and then we’re going to give you a certain amount on top of that to put in your pocket, and that’s the last time we’re going to pay you.”

Cost-plus models is– a lot of general contractors will use this. They come to say, “Okay, here’s the budget for your renovations. It’s going to cost $300,000. We’re going to charge you $350,000 and you’re never going to see a penny more. Then that’s it. Unless you change something significantly, that’s what we’re going to be.” Rather than coming to you in the middle and going, “The price of wood just went up.” The problem with the cost-plus model is that it limits the upside dramatically, and it’s particularly punishing on those runaway hits.

The question is, is cost-plus good for us? Well, if Netflix wants to do it, then the answer is no. If a corporation is really dead set on imposing a financial model on artists, then it’s not good for artists. Otherwise, why would they want to do it? Of course, it’s beneficial for them. Of course, in the long run, they’ve run the math and they know they’re going to save money. It’s the question of gambling.

Like, “Okay, we can let everybody play these slot machines and pay one person a million dollars every week when they hit a jackpot. Or we can let everyone play these slot machines to guarantee that almost all of them will walk away making $10 and we win.” Cost-plus is not anything that anybody in the creative community wants. The agents don’t want it, the managers, nobody wants it, except for people who are thinking to themselves, “This is going to be a loser.” Then, sure. Like, “I think this is bad. We got away with it. We’ll take whatever the–”

John: Yes. It has perverse incentives, so there’s no incentive to make something amazing because the success on the streamer does not reward you. It can reward you with future projects down the road, it’s only your own reputation that’s going to succeed or fail because of it. That’s the basic complaint against this cost-plus model.

Now, when Netflix is first starting out, I can understand why people would take those deals and why it makes those deals because we didn’t know what is success. We have no idea what success is. Is that backend going to be meaningful at all? Those first couple of years, I get why we’re going to overpay people basically and do it that way.

Craig: Yes. We did– I’m not sure how it’s working out so far, but the writer’s guild in the wake of the strike and then the contract that ensued did get some kind of method for success-based payments in streaming. They’re hard to hit. The success has to be really big. My guess is we probably haven’t even started to generate enough data to see how that’s working out.

John: I think also by breaking through that seal, it also means that superstar actors and directors, and other folks can start to get paid some backend that’s independent of residuals based on a huge success.

Craig: What Netflix has started to do is create a sports-style model of free agency where what you do is reward people that are creating things that are very popular with an enormous amount of money just here. Like boom, here, Shonda, boom, here. Ryan Murphy, boom, here, Rian Johnson, boom. Then everybody else is just kind of, it doesn’t matter whether you do well or not, that individual project, whatever money they make from that, they take that money.

Then you’re just waiting around for them to go, “Okay, we’ve decided now you’re so valuable to us, we’re going to give you this big dump truck of money here. Boom.” That is not helpful for most people and it doesn’t seem like it’s sustainable anyway. I think Netflix has probably left the era of that kind of payment. I don’t think we’re going to be seeing the billion-dollar deals or the $500 million deals anymore from them. I don’t think they can sustain that. I think they know that.

Then the question is, how do we maybe start breaking through more on that cost-plus thing? What it comes down to is basically whether or not other streamers can effectively compete to the level that they have the financial security to lure people back. HBO has made an investment in me. That’s great, but Max is not the size of Netflix. They can’t do that with 12 other people. That’s where it’s gotten interesting. I don’t know how this will all work out other than to say that agents seem to always win in the long run. Let’s see if they can beat Netflix. I don’t know.

John: It is time for our one cool things. I have two cool things this week.

Craig: Okay.

John: First off, Craig, do you like Tower Defense games? Do you know the genre Tower Defense?

Craig: I do, and I don’t.

John: The general idea of Tower Defense is that you are trying to protect some area, generally the center of your map and there are invaders. You’re trying to set up obstacles in their way and towers that will shoot them down before they–

Craig: Very anxiety based.

John: Yes, anxiety based. I’m playing a new one called Isle of Arrows, which is not actually brand new, but it’s new to me. It’s roguelike in the sense that after every round, you have cards, you can draw it and you can set like, “Okay, now I can set a path. I can set a tower.” You’re really constrained in how you can do it. It’s also roguelike in the sense of this is too hard, so you’re like, “Why can’t I win?” Then you realize, oh, that’s actually–

Craig: That’s the point.

John: That’s the point, is you get better. You accumulate better cards along the way. I’m enjoying that a lot. The other thing I’m enjoying a lot is this book by Tony Tulathimutte called Rejection. It’s a collection of four or five short stories all on a theme of a character who has a worldview and about how the world should treat them, and they are wrong. It pays off in great ways. It reminded me of our conversation last week at the live show. We were talking with Rachel Kondo about how the ideal short story has that sense of surprise and inevitability. These stories are delightfully that.

Craig: Oh, I love that.

John: It’s really fun. It’s described as a comedy and it’s like the stories are you win so much that it’s almost not a comedy, but they are very well done.

Craig: Cringe comedy.

John: Cringe comedy, yes.

Craig: Cringe comedy.

John: Yes.

Craig: My one cool thing this week is a documentary series, I believe there are four, I don’t know, say five episodes, possibly six. It’s on aforementioned Netflix and it is called Mr. McMahon.

John: I don’t know, what is this?

Craig: Mr. McMahon is the documentary about Vince McMahon, the Impresario of Professional Wrestling WWF, WWE, all its various names.

John: Let’s get ready to rumble. The trademark phrase.

Craig: Well, let’s get ready to rumble. Yes, some of that was in boxing and in UFC, which they ended up buying. I’m guessing you didn’t watch much professional wrestling.

John: I did not. Yes, of course.

Craig: Like Hulk Hogan and all that nonsense. Enormous business. Huge. What it is a study in is a– well, I’m just going to go out on a limp here. He seems like a sociopath. What he locked into for the first time made me go, “I think now I understand the whole Trump thing.” Obviously not in support of Trump, but rather trying to figure out why. Why is everybody falling for this? Vince McMahon lays out this remarkable point of view that entertainment and engagement with people comes down to causing real emotion in them. Disgust, hatred, rejection, betrayal, those work just as well, if not better, than positive emotions.

In fact, what he did was, as his business was being challenged by another wrestling organization, he began to create himself as a character in WWF called Mr. McMahon who was a villain. Did everything he could to make people hate him. The more they hated him, the more intuit they got. And it is pretty startling to watch how brilliant and terrifying he is. The context for the whole thing is that all the interviews with him and all the interviews with everybody else occurred before, I believe it was February of this year, when Vince McMahon, it was revealed that he’s under investigation for sex trafficking.

The specific allegations are horrendous. Horrendous. This, by the way, not the first time that he had been accused of sexual assault or coercing employees or anything. This was like the 19th time. These allegations are so lurid and barf-worthy, and you realize, okay, actually, he is a villain. Man, he encapsulated something about American culture and how to get people to get into you that is so horrifying and insightful. Well worth watching. You don’t need to know anything about wrestling to watch it. It’s a slow-motion horror movie.

John: Maybe not this week, but another week after.

Craig: Yes. Let’s see maybe if next week’s–

John: That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Troy. This week it came from Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com. We get so many great outros, but we always love more. Please send them through. ask@johnaugust is also where you can send questions. You’ll find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. You can find links there for our live show, which is December 6th, and for this Alpha Birds play thing that we’re doing in Culver City.

It’s also where you’ll find the transcripts and sign up for a weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing. We have t-shirts and hoodies and such. They’re great. You’ll find those at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net, where you get all those back episodes and bonus segments. The one we’re about to record on things we learned during the pandemic that we are still doing. Craig, thanks for a fun show.

Craig: Thank you, John.

[Bonus Segment]

John: Okay, Craig. There was a point as the pandemic was descending where everything changed. We started staying at home, and we’re no longer staying at home. We were out socializing. We were seeing folks at the Austin Film Festival. I want to talk about the things that changed and stuck, and things that we’re still doing post pandemic. I’ll start with Zoom. Zoom was not a thing we were using before. You and I were Skyping before.

Craig: Oh, yes. Stupid Skype. Zoom, a conspiracy minded person might imagine that the Zoom Corporation invented and released COVID-19 into the wild because it came along right around when we needed it. Prior to that, video conferencing existed. No one liked it. No one.

John: No one.

Craig: No one used it. It’s a little bit like the way no one really likes calling each other on the phone. That’s the way video conferencing was. Then suddenly, Zoom came along and that’s all we did all the time with everyone. I don’t know what it was about Zoom, but that’s what happened.

John: Before the pandemic, there were a couple of WJ meetings where I had to call in to it. It was this system called BlueJeans, the absolute worst.

Craig: I remember BlueJean, yes.

John: All just like audio conference calls, which were absolutely the worst. There was something about Zoom, which just, it all worked. You could actually have conversations that were real-time because you could see people’s faces. You could not talk over them. I’ve never met Tina Fey, but I met her on Zoom in the first week of the Pandemic.

Craig: Obviously, we played D&D on Zoom. One of the things that happened in the Pandemic was we went from a difficult to schedule once a month D&D game to a regular weekly D&D game.

John: It was great.

Craig: Awesome, and we still, because so many of us are scattered around. Maybe I’m off in Canada working on the show or somebody’s somewhere else on vacation. A lot of times we still Zoom, and that works. So I think, yes.

John: We also moved over to Roll20, a virtual tabletop. Rather than looking at a physical map, we are all looking at maps on our screens. Even now that we’re back in-person playing, we’re still looking at Roll20 because it’s just better.

Craig: It’s just better. We all sit there in the same room together, but with our laptops. That is much better. That has changed. And of course, working from home, which I think a lot of businesses now are really struggling with. Somebody told me– I won’t say which company or what department, I’ll just say somebody said that there’s a department in their company, and a big one, where no one really came back. Everybody was like, “We like working at home.”

This person said that department just doesn’t function because there is no cohesion whatsoever. No one knows what anyone’s doing, but everybody suspects that the other person’s doing nothing. The only work that happens are meetings, which is just vaporous nonsense. Nothing actually gets done because you’re not sitting in the room looking across at somebody saying, “I am disappointed in this, make this better.” I understand why companies are saying, “Hey, sorry, you got to come in.”

John: Megan, when she was working for me as my assistant and as the Scriptnotes producer, she came in every day. Then during the pandemic, of course, she was not coming in, so she was on Zoom. Then as Drew got hired on to work this job, we realized it’s actually better that he is not here every day. Drew’s like three days a week and other things are on Zoom because the rest of the team is all on Zoom. Recognizing that when some people are in person in a room and some people are on Zoom, that’s a mess.

Craig: That’s the worst. We really try and avoid that. For instance, in prep and production, we’ll have some big meetings. The big production meeting, there’s like 50 people there. Seven of them are remote because they’re scouting or they’re off doing whatever. Well, 19 people get into a boardroom and then the seven people are on a big screen there. That’s the only way to get it done. Is just, what we can’t do is have everybody in their own office on Zoom or two people together sharing. None of that works. It is impressive how video conferencing was a zero, and now it’s just this accepted part of life.

John: Another thing that changed a lot was Keynote for me. Keynote or any slide decks because I wasn’t doing those at all before, I knew what Keynote was. I could do it if I needed to. I’d done some talks with Keynote, but the idea of building something in Keynote to show something for a pitch or for a meeting, which is now going to be on Zoom, was suddenly so useful and practical. Not for every meeting or every pitch do I need to do something, but for a lot of them I was, and so I was going out pitching around town with a Keynote.

This project, I’m doing. This video game, I’m working on, the proposal for the proof of concept, this is what the game is. I built that out as a deck. It was super useful. Then yesterday, I needed to show something about the scoring mechanism, what that was. It’s like, oh, it makes much more sense for me to do that in a Keynote than to try to type it out because I can actually visually show that thing. Pre-pandemic, I wasn’t doing that and now I feel like it’s maybe 5% of my job, but a significant portion of my job is building and running a Keynote.

Craig: I think it’s a great way for people, we’ve talked about this before, who may not necessarily communicate best in a steady verbal flow, but rather communicate better in an organized fashion connected to slides in a deck. If you are the person that just loves to do the talking, do the talking. Don’t be afraid. “Where’s your deck? We’re not going to hire a room without a deck.” Now, if you’re awesome, then believe me, it’ll be fine. The existence of that and the delivery mechanism, is harder to do, I imagine in person. To sit there and turn your laptop around. It may be awkward. On Zoom you just hear like, “So I’m going to go ahead and share my screen.”

John: Here’s what I always say. It’s like people now who like, listen to this podcast who are in meetings with like, “So I’m going to share my screen now.” When I do that, you’re going to get small. Just make sure if you have a question, just speak up because I can–

Craig: You’re going to get small. We’re used to all of that now.

The thing about the pandemic that didn’t stick around, I think really is a sense of paranoia in public. Which is different than a reasonable concern about yourself. If you have a compromised immune system or you think maybe you have been sick, or you live with somebody who really can’t afford to get ill, most normal people aren’t going to give you a hard time. Yes, they’re idiots in fricking Mississippi, like “get your mask off.” Most people are like, you get on a plane, there’s one or two people wearing masks. No one gives them crap but most people don’t.

John: Yes. Mike and I are sometimes there’s one or two people on a plane with a mask, and the calculation I do is like, how much would it suck to get sick at that destination? What is my risk tolerance here? I will tend to do it in a crowded airport when I’m on the plane. Once the plane is actually up and running and the air filters are going, I feel pretty good taking my mask off. What I do notice is that if I’m feeling sick, I will default to going for a test just because I don’t want to spread it around or be the problem.

Craig: I think testing for COVID is something that is permanent now. Whereas nobody ever tested to see if they had a cold. Occasionally, you would test to confirm that you had the flu, but really only when Tamiflu came around. Prior to that, it didn’t matter. You’re sick. Probably the flu, nothing you can do. Rest and drink lots of fluids.

John: Now that there actually are solutions to some of these diseases, that’s what made a difference.

Craig: Then it’s worth testing. But for COVID, first thing you do, and it’s this strange thing where you don’t feel good and then you take a test, and it’s not COVID, and you’re like, “Awesome.” No, not necessarily. You’re still sick.

John: I got a shitty goal. It was a hassle to get through.

Craig: You’re going to make other people sick if they’re not aware. That strange COVID exception still exists. Testing still exists.

John: If there’s a person you’ve only talked to on Zoom, have you met them?

Craig: There is a person I’ve only talked to on Zoom.

John: Would you say that you’ve met them and you know them?

Craig: I know them very well. I’m thinking particularly of Mark Halpin, who is one of the best puzzle constructors on the planet. He lives in Kentucky, just south of the Indiana border. He teaches, I believe, theatric production design or stage design at the University of Cincinnati, I want to say. He’s a genius. I have been on a gazillion Zooms with him as our puzzle crew. Either works on puzzles together, works on puzzles he’s created that he’s just watching us, or we had a crew that played a lot of Codenames a lot of Decrypto together. I feel like I know him very well and I have not met him in person. It’s been many years.

John: There’re executives who I’ve been on a project with like two years, never met him in person.

Craig: Well that’s a delight.

John: It’s how it goes though sometimes. I think I’m okay with that in a way that I wouldn’t be okay with that on a phone call. Here’s the other thing I would say is like, when people will have a four-person phone call, why is this not a Zoom? That drives me crazy.

Craig: There are some people that still want to do the conference call.

John: Yes. I think about Zoom, it’s like you’re going to a destination. It’s like you’re going into a room and everyone’s going to be in that room at a certain point in time versus like, a call is like, someone’s joining the call.

Craig: Because it’s–

John: Be in a middle conversation.

Craig: No one knows when to speak. Two people start talking once then stop, then start together again, then stop.

John: “Now you go.”

Craig: Then there’s always one person who’s somewhere noisy and doesn’t understand how to mute their phone. It’s just like– and I’ve always hated conference calls. They always just seemed awful. Zooms feel so easy. If you’re somewhere where you don’t want to be seen, just turn your camera off.

John: Totally. The last thing I’ll say is that correlates to that is there’s definitely been situations where this Zoom could have been not just an email, like a text message. It was literally like, “Oh my God, I can’t believe we scheduled this thing because you had 30 seconds of information to give me.”

Craig: It could have been an email.

John: At least I didn’t have to drive to Disney for it.

Craig: At least you didn’t. Can you remember driving in traffic? Didn’t know necessarily there’s two ways to get to Disney. I’m going to pick this one. I think, oh, picked wrong.

John: You picked wrong.

Craig: Oh my God, this is horrible. Get there. Then someone’s 20 minutes late, then you sit down, then they say something and you’re like, what? No, this. They’re like, “Oh, great. Okay. Meeting over,” and then oh my God.

John: I’m trying to think, have I been on every studio lot since the pandemic? Have I been on Sony’s lot? I’m not sure.

Craig: I’ve been on Sony’s lot. I don’t think I’ve been on the Fox lot since the pandemic. I’ve definitely been on Universal and Warner Brothers.

John: I’ve been to Fox.

Craig: Oh, and Disney. I’ve been in Disney. No Fox. I haven’t been to Fox. It’s weird. What is Fox lot?

John: Fox is Fox.

Craig: Is it?

John: It was Ghosty before the pandemic.

Craig: Yes. I don’t actually know what goes on on the Fox lot anymore. I know that they still make the Apes movies. The Simpsons folks are there. I think the Family Guy people are there.

John: Have you been to the Amazon MGM offices?

Craig: Not yet. No.

John: The absolute craziest places I’ve been because like there’s not– so it’s the old Culver lots, so it’s Gone With the Windy kind of lot. They have some old bungalow buildings, but they also have these big modern things. The meeting I went there for, I parked in this garage. Sure, fine. Whatever. They’re like, “Okay, go to this thing. There’s a bungalow.” I check in an outdoor place, then check in an indoor place in the bungalow, and they’re like, oh, someone will come and get you.

This was a scenario where I’m the only person in this room, but there’s a security guard who’s sitting there. She’s with a little iPad and I think I cough, but like, not in a COVID way. Just clear my throat cough. She takes out a bottle of Lysol and sprays the air around her.

Craig: That may be about her.

John: That may be about her.

Craig: It can’t possibly be policy at MGM.

John: I don’t think it was a policy at MGM, but then a person comes to get me and then takes me into one of the crazy glass buildings. Then up through a magical elevator. It was weird.

Craig: Yes, I do remember going at some point, but I don’t know if it’s still the MGM offices or not. I remember it was in a glass skyscraper building.

John: It felt Amazon in a way where it was a very secure fire doors.

Craig: Yes. Somewhat sterile.

John: Yes.

Craig: The HBO offices — tragedy. I’m just going to go — listen. I don’t care. I don’t think I go to those offices very often, so I can’t imagine that I’m going to get in trouble for this. We’ll find out. The old HBO offices were in this Warren in a building in Santa Monica.

John: I remember that.

Craig: You couldn’t find anything. An assistant always had to guide you to the bathroom. There was like, “And here’s a map to find your way back.” It was the hallways and there were, but, but. Had a little bit of character. People had offices with doors that could close.

John: Nice.

Craig: There were meeting rooms. Now, they’re in this monstrosity in Culver City. It is an open plan. It is the most open plan I’ve ever seen in my life. Most people are in cubicles. Then the people that have earned offices, it’s basically all the doors are glass, all the walls are glass. They can all look into each other’s eyes all the time.

John: Classic UTA, yes.

Craig: Horrible, UTA-ish. If you want to make a phone call and you don’t have an office, they have little booths that you can go into. It’s almost like they should just call it a dignity booth, which is meaning you have no dignity. Now, everybody knows you’re on a phone call and you’re sitting in there in this weird booth, which again is a glass door, I think. It’s just horrible. I don’t know why opaque doors, they’re important. Sometimes you need to close a door.

John: Yes. Blow your nose, yes, whatever.

Craig: I don’t know. I’ve only been there a couple of times because normally, Zoom, phone calls. It’s a weird place.

John: Yes. I went in for a meeting with Range, the management company that’s out in Santa Monica. It reminded me of a super, super, super high-end airport lounge. This is cool. This is nice but it was like an airport lounge. Everyone was just on laptops around.

Craig: It’s horrible.

John: I’m like, okay.

Craig: It’s horrible.

John: I had a meeting in one conference room.

Craig: I hate it. If I had a business that required lots of employees and a big office space, I would do the normal thing. Just normal. What’s wrong with that? Just here in office, close the door. Yes, there would be some people do work in cubicles. I understand the need for that space. But yeah, it wouldn’t be like this horror show of like this forced, “Oh, yes, we don’t have walls here.” Yes, we do.

John: Yes. You wonder why people don’t want to go back to work.

Craig: Exactly. I don’t want to go back to work because it’s creepy. Because I’m never alone. Because I don’t have a moment to close my door and cry.

John: Sometimes you need to cry.

Craig: I see people crying in their cars all the time in LA. Have you noticed it?

John: I haven’t noticed that much. I can believe it, but I haven’t actually seen it.

Craig: The car has become the place people can cry because they can’t cry at work anymore.

John: Yes.

Craig: So sad.

John: It’s a very emotional episode.

Craig: Yes.

John: All right. Thanks, Craig.

Craig: Thank you, John.

Links:

  • Scriptnotes LIVE! December 6th at Dynasty Typewriter
  • AlphaBirds Game Night at Village Well
  • The Big Squeeze: Why Everyone in Hollywood Feels Stuck by Mia Gallupo for the Hollywood Reporter
  • ‘Development is Wage Theft’: Pilot Season Death Morphs Into Year-Round Hell by Elaine Low for The Ankler
  • Isle of Arrows
  • Rejection by Tony Tulathimutte
  • Mr. McMahon on Netflix
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  • Craig Mazin on Threads and Instagram
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  • Outro by Nick Moore (send us yours!)
  • Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt, with special help this week from Chris Csont and Megana Rao. It is edited by Matthew Chilelli.

Email us at ask@johnaugust.com

You can download the episode here.

Scriptnotes, Episode 662: 20 Questions (2024 Edition), Transcript

November 20, 2024 Scriptnotes Transcript

The original post for this episode can be found here.

John August: Hey, this is John. Today’s episode has even more swearing than usual. If you’re in a car with your kids, this is a standard warning about that.

John: Hello, and welcome. My name is John August.

Craig Mazin: Oh, my God. My name is Craig Mazin.

John: You’re listening to episode 662 of Scriptnotes. It’s a podcast about screenwriting and things that are interesting to screenwriters.

Today on the show, we will strive to answer 20 different listener questions on everything from AI to page count, manager notes to emotional investment.

Craig: Get the cocaine out. We’re going to have to get some cocaine in us, John.

John: I don’t think cocaine will really solve the issues here. The issue is that we have far too many listener questions. Every week, Drew gets a whole bunch of questions from listeners, they pile up in his mailbox. Sometimes we get a chance to answer them on the show. A lot of times we don’t. Drew, how many listener emails do you get on a weekly basis?

Drew Marquardt: I probably get 5 to 10 questions a day.

Craig: Whoa. We got to get more. Do you not even know that we don’t do cocaine? I just said we have to get cocaine in us. That’s not what cocainers say. Also, they don’t call themselves cocainers.

John: No, you’re making it up new words.

Craig: I’m clearly not a cocainer.

John: Yes, not one.

Craig: We got to go crazy here.

John: We got to go crazy. We’ve done this before, but we’ve never, I think, actually done it together. There was an episode back in 2022 where I did one with Megana, where I went through 20 questions, then you did one with Megana and went through 20 questions. Yours went on for like three hours.

Craig: Because we love each other.

John: Aw. We’ll do this together. We’re going to crank through here. Then there are bonus segment for premium members. You and I are going to talk through the new D&D Player’s Handbook. That’s why I have a whole stack of the old Player’s Handbooks here-

Craig: Oh, my goodness. I’m looking at them. Glorious.

John: -to compare and contrast, go back to the origins and updates to this fundamental text.

Craig: Foundational, really.

John: Yes. D&D Player’s goes back all the way to 1978. We’ll look at what’s changed, what not changed.

Craig: Gygax.

John: Just the value of a Player’s Handbook. I think back to how crucial of a document it was.

Craig: Yes, and how complicated and not child-friendly it was. Hard to learn.

John: Oh, for sure.

Craig: It wasn’t really designed by a teacher.

John: Yes, but in some ways, it feels like religious text. They’re not designed to be easy to follow. It’s complicated. You can spend your whole life studying them.

Craig: What we have now, and we’ll talk about this in the bonus segment, is the Bibles that they rewrite in American English, which are really weird because all the magic is gone, all the heavy-laden ye and thou is gone.

John: The esoterica is reduced greatly. They’re much more approachable.

Craig: It says things like, Noah said, “Whoa.”

John: Noah did say, “Whoa.”

Craig: Which is almost all the letters of his name.
John: Let’s get into our questions because we have so many. Drew, start us off.

Drew: Undisclosed semi-finalist writes, I just found out that I’m a semi-finalist for the Austin Film Festival. If I were to attend, do you have any advice on how I can capitalize on this opportunity without annoying the professionals?

John: You say you’re a semi-finalist. You entered into the screenwriting competition for Austin Film Festival, and a bunch of readers read your script and you made up to semi-finalists. Semi-finalist will get you nothing in the real world, but it gives you an excuse to go to Austin Film Festival. Let’s talk about what you might do there. We’re going to be there next week, Craig.

Craig: We are going to be there. I think you’re probably on the right track here, without annoying the professionals. Yes, don’t annoy the professionals. They can’t do anything for you. Even finalists are at risk of annoying the professionals only because, again, we can’t do anything for you. What Austin is for is for you guys to do things for each other. You meet other people, you meet other writers, you have good conversations, you learn about how they’re approaching things, and who knows, you might even find somebody that’s interested in working on something with you.

You might also bump into– When we say professionals, we mean the writers. We can’t do anything for you. There are managers there, there are producers there, those are the people who, in theory, you might chat up at a bar and see if they’re vaguely interested in what you have to do.

John: You are there with a semifinalist script. Hopefully, you are going to be able to talk about that thing. Be ready for the two-sentence description of your script, the one-minute longer description of it. Be ready to talk about other things. Be ready to send your script to somebody who might be curious to read it, like a manager, or a producer, but mostly go to Austin to mingle with people, to go to a bunch of panels. Go to the panels that you’re interested in, and look at it as that opportunity because it’s not going to be the moment that changes everything in your life.

Craig: There’s no opportunity to walk in there, find somebody, go, “I’m a semifinalist,” and they go, “Great. Here’s $1 million.” That’s not what’s happening. By the way, just to be clear for people, because John and I are going to Austin, it’s next week, or if you’re listening to the podcast, this week. Approach us all the time. There’s no problem. We love saying hello. If you want pictures and all that stuff, we love doing that, but we just can’t help you with your career. Not directly. Only indirectly through our words.

John: That’s the goal. Question two.

Drew: An honor to be nominated, writes, I work as a coordinator on a show that recently won an Emmy. I’m very proud of the accomplishment for the showrunners, the team, and any small part my role may have contributed to this win. My wife has been telling people that I won an Emmy. I did not. I am quick to clarify that my show won, not that I personally earned the award.”

I’m sure to list on my résumé that the production was Emmy-winning, and I certainly hope to one day have my name on a statuette. I’m unsure how to navigate the conversations around this. Should I gracefully accept the well wishes and compliments, or should I continue to clarify with the, “Thank you, but not really dance?” I’d love to hear your thoughts on how to handle this, both personally and professionally.

John: Now, we are actually going to throw this to you, Drew, because you have this lived experience.

Craig: Oh, I thought you were going to say, “Because this is your question.” “Your wife keeps telling people.”

John: Unlike me or Craig, you we went through this.

Drew: I’ve gone through this. I worked on a show that won an Emmy. I’ve worked below the line for a long time. When your show you worked on wins an Emmy, you get an honorary certificate that recognizes your contribution to the show, it’s got your name on it, it’s got gold leaf, it’s really nice.

My family also likes to pretend that I won an Emmy, even though I didn’t. My strategy tends to be to just bore people with the details of exactly what I just said.

John: And then maybe they’ll stop saying that forward.

Drew: They just nod and they’re like, “Oh, okay,” and then it honors your loved one’s excitement for you without undermining it, but still.

Craig: In this case, I think it would be fair, Mr. or Mrs. to say to your wife, “Stop it.” That’s the short answer. Tell your wife, “Stop it. It’s embarrassing because I didn’t win.” Now I have to explain it every time I’m never going to be the person that just goes, “That’s right. I won an Emmy.” Anybody that starts probing with questions, if I don’t say any of this, is going to go, “Oh, you’re a tool.” You didn’t win an Emmy, so just tell your wife to cut it out. Tell your wife the show won it. You worked on a show that won an Emmy.

John: In the show notes, we’ll put a link to this photograph of Drew’s certificate here, which is fantastic. The 2015-2016 Primetime Emmy Awards, honor Drew Marquardt operation assistant for contribution to an Emmy-winning program, Outstanding Short Form Animated Program.

Craig: Wait. Everybody on Chernobyl got a certificate? No one even told me. Ah.

John: Ah

Craig: Ah.

John: Ah. I think what’s impressive, Drew, is that you keep this with you all the time. You carry this with you all the time.

Drew: Oh, yeah. It’s in my wallet.

John: Yes, it’s nice.

Craig: So you won an Emmy?

Drew: I won an Emmy.

John: Congratulations, Drew.

Drew: Thank you so much.

John: All right. Questions three and four are related. Let’s start with question three.

Drew: Andrew writes, suppose an artificially intelligent machine, like Data from Star Trek or some other AI emerged in the real world and decided to become a writer. Would it get into the WGA? Does the WGA have a policy regarding what happens if or when a non-human entity such as that becomes real, and should it? At what point should a policy about that exist?

John: Data from Star Trek is a fantastic character. In every way, Data is an independent, conscious-living being, and so therefore, would be, in a world in which data existed, Data could join the WGA. I feel that it’s entirely defensible.

Craig: You’d have to change things though, because currently, as I believe-

John: A writer is a human being.

Craig: -AI– writer is a human being, and any material generated by AI is not considered literary material under the NBA. We would have to say, “Unless you’re awesome.”

John: Indeed.

Craig: Currently, no, is the answer Andrew.

John: Currently, no. So at some point, is it conceivable and likely, probably in our lifetime that there will be beings that we would consider conscious who are not organic? I guess. At that time, we’ll have to adjust everything about society. The tiniest thing we’ll have to address is what we’re doing about the WGA.

Craig: Although I’m not sure that those beings will require things like money, but maybe they will.

John: Maybe they will.

Craig: Currently, Andrew, we do have a policy in place. It is a result of our last contract, which we earned through canny negotiation followed by long strike, followed by some more canny negotiation. At least for now, sorry, Data.

John: A related question from Alexander.

Drew: Alexander writes, there was recently this New Yorker article by Ted Chiang. It brings up this idea of a very intricate and elaborate AI setup, where the human can give it, let’s say, 1,000 inputs to prompt and fine-tune a story idea. At this point, isn’t the human still a writer?”

John: Ted Chiang’s article got a lot of traction. This was a month or two ago. It makes some really good points. It also falls into some traps that I think people need to be aware of.

When you say that generative AI is just auto complete, it’s reductionist in a way that is not helpful. Chiang does that a bit. But on the whole, I thought he mentioned some really good points in his essay about why, and we’ve talked about this recently, last episode we talked about the difficulty of doing what we do, and that it’s 1,000 choices per word, per sentence, per project. The art is the struggle. Without that effort, without that work, you’re not making art in the same way.

Craig: I think what he is describing is an artificially intelligent producer. That’s what producers do just at a much slower level. They’re not going to give a writer a thousand inputs. They’re going to give a writer 10 inputs, and then the writer will write something, and then they will give that writer more input. That’s what producers do or development executives. No, you could do that a billion times. No, the human is not a writer. The human now, well I guess in that case the human would qualify perhaps as a producer.

John: It’s entirely possible. You’re giving us a detailed prompt that it’s elaborating on so clearly on when things are that some story credit would actually be like if you were to divvy up, like had this lit of things, at a certain point, you’re writing enough stuff that it becomes clearly that there is literary material in it.

Craig: You would have to write it down and you would have to catalog all of it. At that point, you should just write the script.

John: You probably should. It’s worth people to read Ted Chang’s article because I think it makes some nice points. There was two of the things I pulled out of here is that, “any writing that deserves your attention as a reader is the result of an effort expended by the person who wrote it,” which feels very true to me, and that, “many novelists have had the experience of being approached by somebody, convinced they have a great idea for a novel in which they are willing to exchange for 50/50 split of the proceeds. Such a person inadvertently reveals that they think the formulating of sentences is a nuisance rather than a fundamental part of storytelling.”

Craig: You and I have gotten this. So many people are just like, “I have this amazing idea. I just need somebody to write it.” You have nothing. You don’t even have property. Go ahead tell me your idea. Now it’s my idea because it doesn’t matter because you can’t own an idea. F off.

John: Yeah. Stuff. The last thing I’ll say about this discussion that Chang brings up and just obviously people are thinking about when it comes to AI, is when AI is ingesting a bunch of material and being trained on that, is that more like a human being reading stuff or is that copying and plagiarizing? It can feel like both. Chang makes the argument that if you just took five pages out of a book and said, “This is what I think about something,” clearly you’re not doing any work.

You’re not actually processing that. When an AI generates stuff that is clearly drawn from things, to what degree is that plagiarism, and to what degree is that what human beings view in terms of processing things? That’s going to be an ongoing debate.

Craig: Yes. How we are influenced other things is the concept of homage, the plagiarism, is something that has been going on long before AI ever showed up.

John: Indeed. Most of Shakespeare’s plays were drawn from earlier material.

Craig: Most religions were drawn from earlier material.

John: Funny that. Question five. This is a bunch– we have a couple of questions about this.

Drew: We had a lot of people write in about the Stereophonic lawsuit. Let’s do Jeremy’s. Jeremy writes, I was interested to read this news story about the lawsuit filed by Fleetwood Mac engineer, Ken Callait, and his co-author, Steven Stiefel, claiming the Broadway play, Stereophonic, is plagiarized from their memoir on making of the Rumors album. Does the transformation between memoir and ripped from the headline style fiction push this into a different category than if the play had been explicitly about Fleetwood Mac rather than a fictional Fleetwoodian band?

John: Now, Craig, I haven’t seen this play yet. I’m excited to see it. People love it.

Craig: This is a very interesting question. It’ll be interesting to see what happens with this lawsuit. Jeremy puts his finger on the weird aspect of this. The closer you get to saying, “Oh, this is actually is a dramatization of these people,” the more protected you are. The problem is when you present something as fictional, there is that big paragraph at the end of the movie that says, “All characters within are fictional, and any resemblance to any real people is coincidental.” Unless it’s not.

Because what you can’t do is, say, take somebody’s memoir, change some names, and then just adapt it because you have essentially circumvented the rules of copyright. They wrote it down. They own that, at least in its expression in fixed form. They don’t own the facts, but they own the expression in fixed form. If you are borrowing enough things, then you’re infringing upon their copyright. That in and of itself is a difficult case to make.

I think all these things are always an uphill battle. But if you were to say, I’m going to make a show called Rumors, and it’s a dramatization of the Fleetwood Mac people, the only thing you got to do is not defame them. Defaming is a different deal. That would just be like, “I’m just going to go write a bit where Stevie Nicks bites the head of a baby.” Yes, you’re getting sued. Otherwise, you’re okay.

John: This is a play written by David Adjmi, who was sued earlier over his play 3C, which was a parody of Threes Company. I just revealed why he was able to do that because it was a parody. He was able to be a parody. This is not going to be protected by parody. The lawsuit, we’ll link to the lawsuit here, is interesting. It’s claiming plagiarism, basically that it’s an unauthorized adaptation of the copyrighted memoir by Ken Callait, entitled Making Rumors: The Inside Story of the Classic Fleetwood Mac Album.

Of course, this is complicated because the actual play is not about Fleetwood Mac. They’re not saying it’s about Fleetwood Mac. It’s very Fleetwood Mac-ian. The details are in the lawsuit saying, if this is information that could have only come from his memoir, to me, feel a little bit tenuous.

Craig: They are, because if they’re facts, you can’t own them. If the lawsuit here is by Ken Callait and Steven, we’re going to call him Stiefel, but I do like the idea of Stiefel [“Shtee-ful”], I’d say. If it’s resting on, “Hey, we put a bunch of facts down of things that actually happened that nobody else knew about, and then you made those facts happen in your show,” they’re facts… Then the question is, so you acknowledge that you’re using these facts, but you’re not using them under the names of these people.

I think that’s going to be tough. I honestly think it’s going to be tough unless there’s something defamatory towards them, or there are things in the book that are said in certain ways, like people’s lines of dialog, for instance. If they say Lindsey Buckingham turned to me and said, x, y, z. Then in the show, some character named Jimmy Blingingham says x, y, z. That’s a problem.

John: This week, I saw the movie Saturday Night, directed by Jason Reitman, screenplay by Reitman and Gil Keenan. I will be curious to learn where the boundaries were of what they could say and not say about people. Whose rights did they control or own or did anything?

Craig: You don’t need them. You just have to not defame people. The history of Saturday Night Live is so extraordinarily well-documented. The Tom Shale’s book is insanely– It’s just all his interviews. It’s first-person interviews. It’s a treasure chest if you’re interested in that stuff. My guess is they were drowning in material that they could just point to.

But I do know from having written something about real people and real events that there is a process you go through that is pretty rigorous to make sure that everything that you assert happened is documented somewhere, especially when you’re talking about the behavior of people. Is it either a reasonable inference or is it within the boundaries of what their behavior was? You want to show John Belushi being a drugged-out lunatic or show Bill Murray as a guy that punches people? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that happened. For sure. You want to show Gilda Radner punching someone? Now, we may have a problem.

John: Also, complicated and simplified by who’s alive and who’s not alive.

Craig: You know what? You’re exactly right because Gilda Radner is dead, and you cannot defame dead people in the United States. Everywhere else, you can. You got to watch out for that.

Drew: Can I ask a quick follow-up? Because I know we’ll get it. Is it the frame of the recording booth that would theoretically be the problem? Because there was also like, Daisy Jones in the Six was a show that was basically about Fleetwood Mac that didn’t seem to have these legal problems. Is it specifically because they’re taking–

John: The lawsuit claims that this is from the engineer’s point of view because we’re looking at the stage from the engineer’s point of view? I think that’s crazy. It’s on stage.

Craig: You don’t own that.

John: You don’t own geography.

Craig: A, you don’t own it. B, who knows? I don’t think it would have behooved Lindsey Buckingham or Stevie Nicks or Mick Fleetwood to sue over Daisy Jones in the Six. I think they would have looked like A-holes, and it only helps them sell records. Who doesn’t get helped when we sell a bunch of records? The engineer, because he doesn’t have royalties.

John: You can imagine a scenario. Like let’s say that you wrote a play that was about the engineer for a Fleetwood Mactite band that used all these unique insights of just that engineer. The engineer was the central character of the whole thing, I think that would be a stronger lawsuit, but that doesn’t seem to be what we’re facing here. Lawsuits. Lawsuits.

Craig: Lawsuits. As always, we beg, even though they won’t listen to us, Deadline, Hollywood Report, or Variety, don’t write about these lawsuits. Write about the results. And the results inevitably are settlement.

John: Settlement or a dismissal.

Craig: Or dismissal, exactly.

Drew: All right. Question number 6. Vance writes, I’ve always heard that script cover pages should have the basics and no drawings, graphics, maps, or cutesy stuff. On the three-page challenge, I’ve heard you not only accept but praise some illustrated artsy cover pages. Is this your personal leniency or is it now more accepted industry-wide?

Craig: “I’ve always heard/read.” I’m going to guess from Reddit, other people who aren’t professional writers, people in your writing group, school professors, websites from freaking script consultants. I don’t know what they’re talking about. Look, I’m not in favor of it. I’m not against it. If it’s cool, it’s cool. If it’s not, it’s not. Yes, the default is title, name, contact information, maybe date. But if there’s something cool that goes on the front, sure, nobody cares. Guess what? They’re going to turn the title page and if page one sucks, I don’t care what was on the title page. If page one is awesome, I don’t care what was on the title page, I really don’t.

John: My first produced script go has a logo for go rather than the word go. Because go is such an incredibly small word. The page just disappears. It was a larger thing.

Craig: John, how did you possibly get a career? You violated what?

John: A fundamental tenant.

Craig: What all the gurus say. Gurus. We’re going to Austin, you know what Austin has a lot of?

Drew: Gurus.

Craig: You got it. Tons of them. You know what? They’re there for?

Drew: Money.

Craig: Yes. Tons of it. Taking it from people who don’t have it.

John: I don’t think they’re there for money. I think they’re there for some cred, for some ego gratification.

Craig: They’re looking for clients. They talk about just a big Savannah full of gazelles and these cheetahs are out there. I don’t know about cheetahs and gazelles. Just slinking around saying, “Hey, you’re this close, you’re this close, you know what you just need to do? Give me $10,000.” That’s why I’m going to walk around Austin, just be like no gurus.

John: We were wearing you cheetah skin jacket.

Craig: Awesome. I got to get one of those.

John: I saw a cheetah take down a gazelle.

Craig: Like in person?

John: In person, yeah on safari.

Craig: Ew.

John: When you’re on safari that’s what you’re there for.

Craig: I just wish the honey badger guy were there to narrate all of it. Cheetah, ew. Look at him. He’s taking down that gazelle. He don’t care.

John: Question seven.

Drew: Kevin writes, “As I work on my next project, I’m debating whether to closely involve the original creator of the source material or maintain some creative distance. In your experience, is it better to collaborate with the creator, or can distance actually benefit the adaptation?”

Craig: I’m living this life right now.

John: I think it really depends on the project and the person. It’s what’s going to make for the best scenario for you as the person who actually has to do the adaptation. Big Fish, I kept Daniel Wallace involved in a loop all the time. I wasn’t asking his opinion on things, but I was making sure that he was up to speed on things.

There was another project, another big book adaptation where shortly after we got it set up, it was clear like, “Oh no, this is going to be a bad situation.” I bailed on it because the creator was going to be way too involved in this is just not going to make happy for anybody.

Craig: I make The Last of Us with Neil Druckmann who created the game and he, I think is probably exceptional in this regard. If you’re going to bet, you’re going to bet that the creator’s going to be a problem. They’re going to be a problem because either they work in a different medium and don’t quite understand the purpose of an adaptation or how adaptation should function sometimes, which requires turning away from the material, changing the material.

Doing things that some people would say like, Oh, you made this part “better.” Never, it’s just about different media. Some creators don’t understand that. They just were like, “Here, just take book, make movie, don’t change nothing.” Some creators want to do your job, they just haven’t been allowed to. That’s the worst one. Where like, “I wanted to write this movie, but they wouldn’t let me because I’ve never written anything or because everyone thinks I’m nuts,” and that’s never going to work.

But there are creators who understand, who are smart and flexible, and who are interested in making something that is a proper adaptation that feels different. One of the things about The Last of Us is because you’re going from a video game to a show, the immediate need for adaptation is just there. It’s not like a book where you read it passively and then you can watch the movie. You are moving people around.

We actually had a discussion yesterday about this image in our show of a building and a sign and how the sign wasn’t really entirely in view. What I remember is in the game, it wasn’t entirely in view either unless you moved your stick on your controller, and then you could see it. I’m like, “I think this is fine to not see the whole thing.”

We don’t need to move it so we can see it. These are the kinds of things that just come up all the time, but in passive to passive, creator could be a problem. Kevin, I would be very careful if you’re debating, if you’re debating, maybe just go with no, do it on your own.

John: Thinking back to my conversation with Daniel Wallace and with this other author, I basically had the same conversation with the two of them saying like, “Listen, I love your book and I’m so excited about it. I’m so excited to get into this, but I want you to understand and to know that a lot of things are necessarily going to change just because they changed the medium and I can’t even know all the things that are going to change so far. Trust me that I’m going to protect your characters, protect the spirit of what you’re trying to do, but it’s going to be a different thing just because it’s different medium.” And their response to that was what told me like, oh one is going to be a good scenario and one is going to be a really bad scenario.

Drew: Question eight. Ian writes, I know your feelings about competitions, but what are your thoughts on writer’s retreats? Is it just vacation under the guise of nurturing creativity or is there value to the process of being with others, devoting time to the process, and focusing on craft? How might your opinions differ for an emerging writer outside of industry context versus someone with ties to the industry?

John: I’ve never been on a writer’s retreat. Craig, have you?

Craig: Of course not.

John: No. I’ve been on Sundance Labs, which is like that, but you’re not actually doing the work at the time there.

Craig: That’s super focused too and selective. No, I’ve never done it. I actually don’t know any of my writer friends who work the way we do who have done it.

John: I have novelist friends who’ve done it.

Craig: Yeah maybe they need to just go somewhere to get away from the noise and stuff to write their novel because there’s so much writing for a novel. No, I feel like there’s another way to take money from people.

John: I would tell Ian that if you are curious about it, the opportunity cost isn’t so much. As long as the actual cost is not going to be–

Craig: The money cost–

John: The money cost could be, but if it’s a–

Craig: What do you think these things cost?

John: I don’t know. If it’s a one week, a two-week scenario and you want to do it and you have the resources to do it, and you think it might work for you, it’s worth experimenting because every writer’s different and maybe this is a thing that will be truly helpful for you.

Craig: Here’s one on the Tuscan countryside. That’s just a, can we curse on this one?

John: Sure if you want to.

Craig: That’s a fucking vacation. I’m sorry. That’s just a vacation that costs money. They won’t tell you how much it costs. Oh, they do. Here they do. This one costs $3,500 to $4,500 just for the workshops.

John: That’s a difference too.

Craig: Some people know John and I will occasionally get invitations from these places where they would fly us out and even pay us some stipend or something to be the person that does the work. We go to Austin. Austin doesn’t pay us a goddamn thing. We fly ourselves there and we talk for free and then we go home and just like we do this podcast for free.

We’re not saints or anything, it’s just these things are businesses. Writers’ retreats to me are unless the– I don’t know, the nunnery is doing it. It just feels like another way for you to feel like you’re making progress or getting closer to the dream, you just have to pay some money to do it. Nobody that I know who has succeeded in this came out of a writer’s retreat or talks about a writer’s retreat. Screenwriting is free.

John: There’s a version of a retreat, which is more like what novelist friends have done where they recruit you and to do it. Then it’s not like there’s a classes or anything like that. Basically, you are free all day to write and to work and then you have your dinner together and then a conversation with the other writers who are up there. That feels like that could be really productive for certain people. I don’t see that happening a lot with screenwriters, but it doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

Craig: Also, you don’t have to go anywhere to do that. Do you mean there are screenwriting groups that are free, all around LA and they’re being spitting, you’ll hit one and you want to go out to dinner with those people and chitchat. Great. If you want to write all day, get on your laptop. As John Gatins says, start clicking. Start those keys clicking.

Drew: Question nine. Anna writes, in your episode with Francesca Sloane, she said that she wrote short scripts to send in as samples for both Atlanta and Fargo. Atlanta itself has shorter episodes, but Fargo episodes run 45 to 60 minutes. Is it a good idea to send shorter samples to demonstrate tone and skill in a more digestible way for the people reading loads of other scripts? Or do people typically prefer reading a script the same length as their actual show so they can be sure you’re capable of properly structuring a 45 to 60-minute script?

John: Francesca Sloane came on to talk about Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a show that had a great very specific tone. I think it’s good to have a shorter sample you could also send, but I think a lot of showrunners will want to see something that is about the length of what their show is, just so they get a sense that you can structure that larger thing.

A lot of times when I talk to folks who are staffing on shows that showrunner is really going for do they have a voice? Do they have a personality on the page? That’s more interesting. They’re not reading the whole thing. They’re basically reading the first 20 pages, like, this person feels like I want to meet them.

Craig: I don’t think there would be any benefit to writing half of an hour-long episode.

John: Oh, no.

Craig: Yes, I do think you want to deliver something that is the length to show that you have the ability to run the full length of the race. If you are reading something that’s really well structured and has great payoff at the ending and somebody understands how to pace and create rhythm and meter across those pages and make the dramatic circle and make the end feel like it was surprising, but yet inevitable, all those wonderful things we’re looking for, that’s also incredibly valuable to see.

If you have somebody that’s just writing some glittering dialogue but can’t seem to make a plot or land the ship, you go, “I might want this person for some glittering dialogue if you’re running that kind of room, but now I know who they are.” I got to be honest, there are a lot of glittering dialogue people out there. There are very few people that you can reliably get a well-structured episode from. So few that it’s upsetting.

John: What might be a choice here is like, let’s say you have the full-length episode that shows what, how good you are at structuring and telling a story over the course of 60 minutes, 60 pages, but then you have a one act play that just like can show a versatility in a different voice and a very specific thing that you can do that no one else can do, that may be a good backup thing for you to have as well.

Craig: Yeah. The more breath you can show, the more versatility the better. You, at least, want to be able to show the fundamental thing that would be required there. Don’t worry about people having some ADD and seeing a 60-page script and going, “Oh, my God.” They write 60 pages all the time.

John: As we’ve established on the show when we talk to showrunners, it’s like they will throw your script across the room after three pages if they don’t like it.

Craig: Correct. If they do like it, they’ll keep going and they may even just flip to the end. Then they might read the first 10 and the last 10. If those are great, who cares? The middle is the middle, we’ll figure it.

John: Ultimately, they’re going to want to meet with you.

Craig: Exactly. Believe me, if you read something good, then yes, you gasp.

John: Question 10.

Drew: Andy writes, I’m pulling into the final stretch of completing a screenplay, which has taken me years to write. It’s an adaptation of some private journals that were written in the mid-1700s. The author died in 1795. Naturally, I assume that the material was in the public domain. Right? Wrong. I just discovered that the owner of the manuscripts, a major university, who published them in the mid-20th century holds the copyright to them until 2045 due to a quirk in the 1976 copyright law. I’m a beginning screenwriter and I would like to submit it to a few quality contests and some managers, but I don’t want to act in bad faith. What can I do in this situation?”

John: There are two very different questions I see embedded in here. First is that like, this is a crazy scenario where something written in 1700s is somehow still under copyright. I don’t believe it, but that’s a whole separate legal question. The second is, do I need to worry about this as a person who’s showing the script around to managers and other people who can get me representation? The second one is much easier to say, show it. Listen, if there are problems down the road in actually producing it, fine. You can show anything to a manager. You can get hired off of anything so that’s not a concern.

Craig: I’m also suspicious of this. Unless this was a translation and they have the copyright to the translation or they just have the copyright to their published thing with the forward, what happens is sometimes they’ll stick a forward on. That makes it something now you can copyright that. But if there are private journals and you’re literally going back to the private journals from the mid-1700s, I’m sorry, it doesn’t matter who owns published, whatever. There is no quirk in copyright that covers that. That said, fine, talk to a lawyer, but you don’t have to worry about that. Like John said, just submit.

Do you think the university’s going to start going, “No”? They can’t because you haven’t even exploited it yet. You’re just showing people something. It doesn’t matter. Then if a company wants to buy it, believe me, they’re going to tell their lawyers, “Go over to that university and either slap them around or give them 10 grand,” and that’s that.

John: If you as a writer want to write a romcom starring Superman and Spiderman, you can do that. Absolutely fine. You don’t control any of that stuff. You can never make that movie. If it’s great and funny and people love it, it can get you hired for other things.

Craig: You’re just not allowed to make a dime off of it until you get permission from the copyright holders.

John: When we say make a dime off, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get hired to do other stuff, that material cannot be produced.

Craig: Correct. Without their permission.

John: Question 11.

Drew: Jason writes, I’m introducing a character we initially only see from the waist down, but they have a brief dialogue with another character. Since the character’s face is off-screen, is OS still appropriate or should I clarify in an action line we only see the character from the waist down? Currently, I’m using both OS and the action clarification. Overkill?”

Craig: Overkill. It’s OS, really means not there. Not VoiceOver somewhere in the space.

John: You also see off-camera.

Craig: Off camera, OC, OS, same thing. Now in this case you would say we only see them from the waist down. That’s fine. If you feel like people are going to forget, you could write their name. If their name is Henry, Henry, waist down in parentheses next to their name. I think just OS or OC would not–

John: I would actually do the OS.

Craig: Really?

John: I would have this description that we only see them for the waist down and just because as people are reading through things quickly, sometimes they’re not reading all the action lines. That OS or OC just tells something like, “Oh, there’s something going on here. Maybe I should look back to see what’s happening.”

Craig: The problem is it gets really annoying. That’s why I’m thinking just, make a custom waist down, maybe just over and over and over. Even that is going to get annoying.

John: That’s going to get annoying too.

Craig: I think you just bold it. Put it on its own line, bold it, make it a bigger font if you want, underline it. You could even do something like halfway through the scene, just write “I just want to remind you, we’re only seeing him from the waist down.”

John: Really what Craig and I are describing here is that you’re going to feel that something that’s right in the context of the page and the context of the scene. If it’s one line of dialogue versus if it’s a whole exchange, it’s going to feel different.

Craig: Just don’t worry so much Jason about like, “Oh, is there like something that’s correct?” That’s a very not in our business way of thinking. We get it all the time. It’s not your fault. It’s this pedantic thing that comes out of Reddit forms and schools and writers’ groups. You really can, just every four lines of dialogue, remember waist down only. He’s still waist down. Can’t see his face.

John: In all these cases, it’s not that there’s right or there’s wrong. It’s what’s going to feel good in this moment?

Craig: What’s effective? What do you want people to feel and if you’re nervous that they’re going to forget something, remind them. You don’t have to remind them with this special way that people are going to go, “Technically, blah blah.” That’s not how it works.

John: No. Question 12.

Drew: Leo writes, I’ve always been able to write a screenplay, go through drafts, editing, feedback, and amends without a second thought, moving on to the next project and never looking back. However, I’ve heard and seen so many people unable to relinquish control and I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m not as attached or emotionally involved as I should be. I treat every script like a rep, like you would at the gym. But I’m starting to think that maybe I should be challenging myself to be more emotionally invested with the scripts. Any advice?”

Craig: Leo, let’s start with one possibility. You might be neurodiverse. Be somebody that just doesn’t feel things the way other people feel. That doesn’t mean you aren’t feeling things. It’s tempting sometimes to look around and go, “Uh-oh, everyone is crying. I’m not crying. Something’s wrong with me.” No. Maybe just you don’t find this as sad.

I do know quite a few people that are very successful who have nowhere near the level of angst that I do, who write with a freedom and less concern. Even the way you and I write, you’ll do the vomit draft, which feels like it would be less emotionally disturbing.

John: I’ll correct that because I think I’m misunderstanding. You think I do a vomit draft and I don’t.

Craig: Oh.

John: I write out of sequence, but no, I don’t vomit.

Craig: Oh, you don’t do a vomit draft?

John: No. I know folks who do the vomit drafts.

Craig: Then somebody does a vomit draft. The whole point of that is they just write. No worries. Let’s just go get something down on the page, and then I’m going to rewrite. That’s where all the– I’m an angst writer, every line, every day when I start, I go back over the day before stuff and I redo that. Everybody has their own– Scott Frank makes me look like I have no emotions.

Everybody writes per them. This is part of what makes you you, Leo. I wouldn’t worry so much about the way other people are experiencing this, but I would listen if you say, “Hey, I should be challenging myself more emotionally.” Also, maybe your scripts aren’t emotional. Maybe they’re just what they are. Maybe they could be a little emotional or maybe this or that, but they don’t have to be super sentimental. There are a lot of people that write that sort of thing. I think you should just be you.

John: I read this as– I don’t think he’s so concerned about what is the emotional content within the scene. It’s basically what does he feel about the work that he has done and how much of himself is wrapped up into these things. How much is his self-identity is wrapped up into this individual project?

There have been projects where I have felt that a lot. I would say going over the course of my career, one of the things I’m happy about is that when a project is just dead, it’s like, “Oh, okay, I’m done.” I am able to just divorce myself and I don’t think about that anymore. That’s a useful skill.

Craig: It is. I think the big lesson here, Leo, is you are as emotionally invested as you are. If you had to choose between getting super overwrought and caught up, or being the way you are describing yourself, I’d go with the way you were describing yourself. You have a better chance of writing more, learning more. As they say, the first few scripts probably are going to be that good anyway. This keeps you writing. Nothing wrong with that.

John: Agreed. Question 13.

Drew: Zach writes, I’m 28 and I’ve been a creative producer for five years on short films in Wisconsin and Minnesota. We want to move into features. However, my BA in theater means that I don’t have much experience with the other fields an industry producer deals with, raising money at the feature level, knowing how to schmooze and making creative producing a job that pays so I can focus on my craft.

To learn those skills and still keep making films with my midwest based team, would it be best for me to move to a larger creative market to try to get a job and learn from the ground up? Should I go to undergrad or grad school for producing or creative producing? Or do I just keep flying by the seat of my pants with my team and try to do it like Mike Cheslik and Ryland Tews who made two indie features in six years with Lake Michigan Monster and Hundreds of Beavers?

John: I did not know either of those movies, so I looked them up and they do look–

Craig: Hundreds of Beavers, I didn’t see it, but the trailer was awesome.

John: It’s great that you have a model for something what you want to do. It sounds like that’s what you want to do, is you want to be making their kind of stuff. For that, maybe you don’t need to get a lot more experience. You just need to grow up your ability to make a short film into bigger things and bigger things because those are very specific niche kind of things.

If you do want to really learn how producing producing works, it wouldn’t be the worst thing for you to apply to a program that does that and get you some experience with folks who are producing bigger stuff. Something like the Stark program would be great, but it could also be overkill if your real goal is to move back to the Midwest and just make midwestern films.

Craig: I think, Zach, this feels like you might want to come on out here. In looking what they’ve done, create a producer for five years on short films in Wisconsin, Minnesota. First of all, half the writers I know in Los Angeles are from Wisconsin and Minnesota. I don’t know what it is about that place, that part of the world, but very creative, very good writers come from there.

The thing is short films, as we’ve said many times already, a little bit of a dead-end street. Short films in the Midwest, a shorter dead-end street. It’s a bit cul-de-sac. I think you might want to come to Los Angeles. You’re 28, which is still young, but not young. It’s a little late to start taking on massive debt to go to a graduate school. That may or may not be the way to go. If you had a choice between spending the– what does Stark cost, $100,000 a year or something? You can spend $100,000 a year plus living expenses and all the rest of it, or get a job that pays you $40,000 a year if you can. That’s a low-rung thing where you’re going to get demoted for a while from what you were doing to what you’d be out here, but you start working somewhere where things are getting made and things are happening and you start climbing a ladder. That is not a dead-end street.

John: I think what we’re talking about is either you go to film school to learn creative producing in a structured program, or you find a place that you work for a producer who’s doing the job that you want to do.

Craig: You get paid to learn.

John: Yes, you get paid to learn.

Craig: You pay to learn or you get paid to learn. I pick the latter.

John: Actually, a good first step for you might be go to some of these film festivals that are showing the kind of movies that you like to do and see if you can get an internship or a job working for one of those producers and really learn from them about the nuts and bolts of it. Because honestly, making the things like Lake Michigan Monster or Hundreds of Beavers is a very specific skill set. Figuring out how they do it is going to be the way to do it.

Craig: What the future holds for that is tricky. They’re great indie bands, but it’s a tough future. You get down the road and you start to go, “Oh my God, I love that band. What’s going on?” They’re still out there touring and it’s– Honestly, Zach, if you could be an assistant to somebody doing the job that you’re doing, it sounds crazy. Like, “I’m going to be the assistant to the person who does the thing I do?” Except that out here on this level, at this scale, the people who do what you do are not doing what you do. They’re doing something else and you do need to learn and you do need to be exposed to it. The whole point of being an assistant out here is not to be a typist in the steno pool. It’s a ladder.

John: The point about raising money, I think it’s crucial because it’s a very specific skill and it really depends on the kinds of movies you’re trying to make. If your goal is to make indie horror films, that’s a very specific pile of cash that is used to do those. It’s a very specific business model. If it is these more esoteric straight Indies, then something more like a Sundance or a Slamdance kind of vibe maybe where you need to focus your attention. Be honest about what appeals to you. I think you are, looking through your description there, it feels like they know what they want to do. Question 14.

Craig: 14.

Drew: Rachel writes, I’ve spent the past year and a half writing and developing my first feature, which I also plan to direct. When my manager walked me through her latest round of notes, I had a gut feeling that she hadn’t actually read the script. Her notes were vague and abstract and it felt like I was the English teacher and she was the student who only read the spark notes and tried to BS her way through.

Craig: ChatGPT. She ChatGPTed the notes.

I’m starting to question why she isn’t more invested in a project she wanted me to write in the first place.

What do I do now? Do I make the changes just to keep her happy so she’ll finally send it out or do I hold my ground and risk stalling everything? This is the third feature we’ve developed together. I’ve put my soul into these projects and I don’t think I can handle another one falling apart. I’m honestly at the point where I might quit if this one doesn’t work out.

I’m too old to keep doing the same song and dance expecting a different result. I feel trapped in this endless feedback loop waiting for months for each round of notes and even got the suggestion to shoot something on an iPhone in the meantime while she catches up. How do I move forward without compromising my vision for someone who isn’t fully engaged? Is it too late to reconsider my rep situation?”

John: Craig, you have the advice here. What’s the advice?

Craig: Fire your manager.

John: Sometimes it’s just that easy.

Craig: It’s just that simple. That was a whole lot of reasons to fire your manager. Followed by the question, “Should I fire my manager?” Yes. It seems like, Rachel, your manager has ticked all the boxes of being fire-worthy. Probably not actually writing the notes, I honestly do. The way she described does feel like she just said, “Hey, ChatGPT, read the script and do some bad notes.” She takes months to respond. What is she doing in between there? She won’t send things out. Send it out. Just do it. If she doesn’t want to send things out, it’s because she has nobody to send them to.

Shoot something on an iPhone while she catches up? What is she catching up with? Legitimately, this just feels like a damaged fraud. Is it too late to reconsider my rep situation? Rachel, it is too late to reconsider your rep situation if you have stage four cancer. Otherwise, no. It’s not too late. In fact, it’s still not too late if you have stage four cancer. Fire them in the last breath that you have.

John: Honestly, I think if you have stage four cancer, your odds of recovering from the cancer are higher than that this manager is suddenly stepping up and doing a great job.

Craig: That’s right. It’s a miracle. She’s sent my script? No. Your bone cancer is retreated. You’re going to live another year. Rachel, for the love of God, I don’t care, I believe you mentioned that, “I’m too old for this. I’m too old to keep doing the same song and dance.” Correct. I don’t know how old you are, Rachel. If you’re 22, you’re too old for this. If you’re 82, you’re too old for this. Fire your manager.

Drew: Question 15. Enrico writes, First of all, I’m Italian, and second of all, I’m poor. I’ve also wrote a screenplay. I really like it.

Craig: Third of all.

Drew: One small company bought the option for my screenplay, so someone else likes it. The Italian market is a huge mess so I want to try different options. Is there a path for a foreign screenplay in the American market?”

John: I don’t know. This is where I think we need to throw to our listeners who might actually have some better insight here because we have a lot of international listeners. If you are an international listener or someone who works with international writers and can offer some advice to Enrico about, if you were an Italian screenwriter who’s written something, presumably in English, we don’t know, and how you get that script read by English-speaking audiences or British producers or American producers, because I just don’t really know.

Craig: Did Enrico write this question in Italian and we translated it?

Drew: No, it came in English.

Craig: All right. Enrico, first of all, just based on this, either your English is good or your translation program is good.

John: Craig, I cleaned it up.

Craig: You cleaned it?

John: Yes.

Craig: Oh, okay. Look, that’s actually good to know. We can leave that in. Enrico’s English is not superb. With that in mind, is there a market? Kind of I’ve seen it. I have gotten things that are from somewhat established filmmakers overseas who are trying to break into American television. You can tell from the script that English is not their first language, but you’re doing the math of, I can look past that actually, to, “What’s the story? What are the characters? Is this fascinating?”

Obviously, they’re going to need a partner who does speak English, who can help that aspect of it. Yes, there is. There’s that beautiful show about the young Italian girls growing up on HBO. There are absolutely avenues for foreign work. Netflix is incredibly global. The Italian market is a huge mess. There’s no question about that, Enrico. The Italian entertainment industry is a bit like Italian politics. Mamma mia. It’s a mess. It really is.

John: I was just in Italy for their film and TV conference.

Craig: Did you note that it was a mess?

John: I noticed it was a challenging time for the industry.

Craig: It’s chaos, but it’s not impossible, Enrico. I think part of it may be finding representation who understands, “Hey, I’m not here just for the Italian market. How do we expand?” You may want to start a little closer to home, for instance, the UK, and work your way to do this. It’s easier to work from UK to US than from say, Italy to the US.

John: There’s this conference over this summer was all about international collaborations between the Italian market and other European markets which makes a lot of sense.

Craig: Now the UK has unfortunately withdrawn from Europe, but.

John: But they still do a lot of things with–

Craig: Of course.

John: They are there.

Craig: Like I said, it’s closer and they’re more likely to look to that market than the US is.

John: For sure. Question 16.

Drew: Tim writes, “I signed with a reputable management company in Los Angeles. We’ve been working closely together.”

Craig: Fire them.

Drew: I completed a screenplay that, after quite a lot of time refining it, we’re now at a stage where a director is attached, as well as producers, who have financial backing for offers to talent. It feels like a lot of cool stuff is happening and I’m very thankful for that. It just feels like this is trotting along forever. I’m afraid of years passing by because of the slow-moving pace of it all with no meaningful progress being made.

My question is, what else should I be doing? Is there more I could ask for my management to expedite the process or ensure my new script gets attention? Should I be asking for meetings with people around town, to show both scripts to studios in an attempt to get writing assignments? I’ve already started on my next script and have a slate of another 10 I want to develop further to see if they have legs, so the actual writing is being done on my part. I just want to rally the troops and make sure I’m not missing anything, but also not come across ignorant or too pressing.

John: Great. It sounds like your management company is doing something well, which is basically they’ve got this thing out, they’re sort of trying to get stuff in, but your concern that this is going to take forever is justified because everything just takes forever here, because it does. During the summer, they’ll say, “Oh, we’ll come back to this in the fall,” and the minute Labor Day happens, like, “Let’s get back to it after the New Year.” That’s just sort of how this town tends to work.

Craig: Until suddenly, within 24 hours, everything must get done. It is so slow and then so fast. Head whipping, really. I think the key word here is feel.

John: Feels.

Craig: He said it feels like this.

John: Your management company, in this meantime, should absolutely be sending you out on a zillion meetings. It’s good that you’re starting your next project. it’s good to have 10 things. Be ready to talk about those 10 things. Describe to your management company, “These are the projects I’m most excited about going out and pitching with people. Let’s find who these people are.” You need to manage your managers and by managing your manager, let’s say ask them, “What’s happening here? What can we be doing right now for me this week, next week? Let’s make a plan for this.”

Craig: It’s okay to say, hey, can we go get drinks to just do a little planning for 2025? In that meeting, say, “This is how I am. Here’s just me as a person. I need this and this and this. It doesn’t matter if it reflects reality or not. I just need to feel busy and to feel like stuff’s going on. You may want to over-schedule me. You may want to send me to more places.” Or, “Hey guys, tell me honestly, am I bad in the room? If I’m bad in the room and that’s why you’re not sending me out there, would be great to know. Then there are other things that maybe I can do.” Sometimes we just don’t know why things aren’t happening and we presume it’s because of other problems and maybe people are saving us from ourselves. I don’t know.

So Tim, I love your antsy-ness and I also appreciate that you understand it might just be annoying antsy-ness. Sometimes rather than saying, “Why aren’t we doing things? Shouldn’t we be doing this? Shouldn’t we be doing this?” Just say, “Here’s how my brain works. Here’s how I am, so therefore, what can we do?”

John: Something I did with my reps this year is whenever I’m sitting down with them, I have a one-pager that talks through like, “Here are all the projects. Here are where things are at and here are what my priorities are.” I can just be really clear like, “This is my number one priority. If this thing happens, everything else goes away. Here are the other open loops here.” So we can all sort of be on the same page about what it is we are trying to do, which is useful.

Craig: It would be nice if they did that.

John: I make the one-pager, which is fine.

Craig: It’s fine.

John: It’s fine.

Craig: They are who they are. They all are.

John: Question 17.

Drew: Jenny writes, “I’m a mid-level TV writer who sometimes hangs out and tries to answer questions for aspiring writers in a giant Facebook group. Whenever I post some well-known film or TV writer script, aspiring writers are convinced that the formatting is wrong. There are a thousand things that they’ve been told are verboten by so-called screenwriting gurus.”

John: Screenwriting what now?

Drew: Gurus.

John: What?

Drew: Gurus. When I point out that, no, it’s not at all against the rules or even unusual for a screenwriter to say, all caps, “A SOUND CUE” in a script, the pushback is always along two lines. A, “Well, he’s a well-known writer so he can get away with it,” or B, “Well, that’s a shooting script, not a spec script. You can’t do that in a spec script.” It creates this perfectly shitty feedback loop where they convince themselves not to learn from some of the best writing in Hollywood. I’ve given up trying to help them. Maybe you can set them straight.

Craig: John, should we–

John: I think we’ve done this for 650 episodes.

Craig: I think we’re in our second decade of saying this and you know what, Jenny? I’m going to give you some advice. Get out of the Facebook group. They’re beyond help. That’s the deal. If that group is convinced that they can’t do something, get out. If they are going to give– By the way, I just want you to know, Jenny, it’s not just you. I get this.

John: All the time.

Craig: All the time. I did an ask me anything on Reddit years ago. People do this and then I’m like, “No, just do whatever you want.” They’re like, “Well, you can get away with it.” Apparently always, from the beginning, somehow weirdly, I got away with it. “Oh, that’s a shooting script, not a spec script.” Nobody knows the difference and nobody cares. This is the problem. It’s just a barrel of crabs all pulling each other down.

A lot of people are in these groups to experience faux authority, like they know. Makes them feel better, because what they don’t have is actual authority backed up by, you know, having a career at this like you do, Jenny. So you know what? Get out. Get out and just let them sit there convincing each other that “we see” is toxic poison for a script.

John: I think your advice for her to get out is 100% accurate. I would also say that there’s this blurry line between what is common practice versus what are the rules. Understanding what common practice is like what most people are doing on the page is really useful. You get that by reading a bunch of scripts. No one wrote the rules. There are no rules.

Craig: There are no rules. There are no rules. We have said this so many, so many, so many, so many times.

John: It’s the third chapter of the Scriptnotes book, the rules.

Craig: There you go. There are no rules. It doesn’t matter how many times you say, “Hey, guess what? If something’s really good, no one cares.” They don’t believe you. They do not believe you. They think it’s either a trap or it triggers their sense of insufficiency to such an extent that they need to defend. I can’t explain to somebody why they should or shouldn’t feel sufficient. I don’t know. I do know statistically, whoever it is, they’re insufficient. That’s just facts. Same way it is for professional sports or acting or anything. Just going by the statistics. If you make it, you are an anomaly. Jenny, God bless you. Don’t go there.

John: No. Question 18.

Drew: Joe writes, “I’m writing this in one of the short windows of time that our newborn daughter allows in between feedings, diapers, and sleeping. Do you know of any reliable dictation to transcription apps for the iPhone to help a new dad get some creative thoughts down? Using the iPhone Notes app, I tried dictation but find that transcription stops after a few sentences. Outside of using the voice memo app and then transcribing later on, do you know of a reliable app that can do transcription to a better degree than the iPhone’s internal features? I’ve read about a couple that lean heavily on AI, which only brings me ethical concerns, but might be the only current solutions?”

John: I use dictation software on the iPhone for journaling, so in day one, so rather than typing stuff in day one about what’s happening, I’ll just dictate to it, because I don’t really care if it’s not exactly right. I’m getting it out and getting it down. It’s been my most of my experience with dictation software. A couple of things to think about. Any transcription software is AI, so just get over your worry about it. That’s just going to happen. I think voice memos on the iPhone now actually does transcriptions a lot better and runs longer. I think it automatically transcribes stuff.

Craig: With the new Apple intelligence?

John: Yes, I don’t think it’s– I think even pre the Apple intelligence can do that. Use whatever works for you. Just go for it.

Craig: This isn’t an area where AI actually feels great because it’s not trying to invent anything, pretending it’s doing something new. It’s just using all of its bits and bobs to move your voice into words. It’s just giving you what you do, not adding or subtracting. It’s not editing you as it goes along. Google it?

John: Google it. Open AI makes a product called Whisper that’s actually very good at transcriptions for stuff.

Craig: There’s an answer.

John: There’s a way. I’ve seen elaborate things where people will sort of take a voice memo and then they’ll create a shortcut that then sends it through to Whisper and sends back a really good transcript.

That’s directly possible. Every week there’s going to be new stuff that does this. I would say just look for the simple solution that gets the stuff done that you need to get done. Joe, if you’re trying to dictate a whole script, that’s going to be challenging. That’s going to be tough. If you’re just dictating notes to yourself, great. Go for it.

Craig: I will say also, like Joe says, creative thoughts. I have found if I’m on a walk or I’m somewhere and I don’t have my keyboard with me and I have– an exchange emerges in my head, I’ll just record it as a voice note. Then listening back is quite simple and often jogs your memory better than seeing it in a format in which it did not exist, nor did you type. Maybe just a voice note.

John: Question 19.

Drew: Gary writes, “I’ve just rewritten a script from scratch on a project that was not very good and wasn’t working in its last incarnation. None of the previous material was WGA. At the end of it all, I’m getting written-by credit, but the producer wants the story-by credit for themselves, for Byzantine reasons. I told them that I wrote the treatment for this version, so I’d share the credit. They insist that they’ve written a treatment in the past. I haven’t seen it. That the previous draft was based on, and all of the basic broad strokes in my script were their idea, and this isn’t WGA anyway. I didn’t put up a big fight as my hope is this won’t wend through the indie route and it will become a WGA script and I can let the guild drop the hammer then, but is this at all common?

I couldn’t recall seeing a story-by credit that didn’t include the written-by author in it. I figured it would have to be a super specific scenario where a lot more detail than just the broad strokes were included in the treatment, like a scene-by-scene breakdown.”

John: A lot of misassumptions there.

Craig: So much confusion. First of all, Gary, it’s extraordinarily common. In the WGA you will see screenplays where it says “story by A, screenplay by B”. It happens all the time.

John: Specifically, you wouldn’t see that- you’re not going to ever see “story by A, screenplay by A” because–

Craig: That would be written by– unless we screenplay by A and B. In the case of original screenplays, the story-by credit is irreducible. If somebody sells a spec and then somebody else comes in and rewrites it and does a lot of screenplay work, but doesn’t really change the basic essence of the plot, basic characters, et cetera-

John: They’re going to get story credit.

Craig: -then it’ll be story by A and screenplay by B. Now, in this situation, none of this is WGA. Here’s the bad news. You’re asking all these questions and the answer is, anything can happen.

John: Totally.

Craig: Obviously this producer’s a jerk. That’s clear. Like, “Oh, did you write a treatment? Where is it? No, you didn’t.” Now you’re hoping that this might end up WGA. I have bad news for you. If it does, you’re not getting WGA credit because you didn’t write this under a WGA deal. WGA credit is going to go to whoever else rewrites it under the WGA deal. Now if that’s you, good news, everything that came before would be source material credit along the lines of– based on a screenplay-by, but the real then residual-able WGA credit would be to you. At that point, the producer’s completely screwed because he didn’t write anything under a WGA contract. But currently? Wild West, buddy.

John: We’ll say that independent of where this ultimately goes, what names appear on the screenplay do kind of matter. If it says story by producer, screenplay by you, it’s going to be assumed that that is an accurate reflection of what really happened here. Maybe just don’t worry about it.

Craig: It’s not WGA. At this point, Gary, they could just say written by anyone. You have no protection whatsoever. It’s almost like maybe you shouldn’t be writing stuff for non-union companies, because guess what? This is what they do.

John: This is happens all the time.

Craig: Now I understand you need money, someone’s paying you something, but you got to know when you walk into a lawless saloon, you’re going to get shot. Like, sorry. You took the money from an entity that has every ability. If they wanted to be union, put up the money, show that they have the ability to do it. Follow the rules. They said no and now you’re like, “What’s happening?” You’re in the wrong saloon.

John: For sure. We’ve done it. Question 20.

Craig: Woo.

Drew: Casey writes, “For the past two years I’ve been writing a screenplay for a TV series. I have a pretty unique situation in that I’m quite enjoying the writing, but I don’t really want to be a full-time writer. I have no writing experience. I’m a middle-aged guy, married with two young kids and a career that I’m proud of. The only reason I’m able to write what I’m writing is because the story is about an area in which I have immediate knowledge, I’m living it, and I’m passionate about the subject.

My goal is to write this one story, pass it off to someone who can get the show made, and then return to my current job. It’s not about the money for me. My dream is just that the show would get made, although I do recognize that any show getting made is a long shot. If it takes 25 years, so be it. I was wondering if you had any advice for initial steps. I’m aware that agents and managers may not be excited about representing a one trick pony.”

John: All right. Let’s think about Casey’s goals here and why he’s approaching this project. He wants a series about the thing he does to exist in the world, and so he’s chosen to go off and write a thing, which is great. You are free as a writer to write anything you want to do. God bless. You’re hopefully enjoying the screenplay format, but you say you don’t ever want to write anything else. Then you’re not really a screenwriter. You’re a person who created this one thing, which is, hopefully a template for a series.

I think the best case scenario for what you’re able to do here is, you get something that’s really pretty good, and then you’re able to find a writer showrunner and show them this, and be honest and say, “I want someone else to make this series. I don’t want to make this series at all.” Will a reputable showrunner actually really want to do that? Unlikely, but it’s not impossible. In a weird way, the screenplay you’re writing, the script you’re writing is less important than if you’d written this as a book about what it’s really like to be a forensic pathologist. It’s almost a source material rather than a real script. Craig, what’s your feeling on this?

Craig: You’re not a writer, Casey. You’re telling us you’re writing. When you say, “I don’t really want to be a full-time writer,” what that means is, I don’t want to write. I don’t want to be a writer. Unfortunately, what you are doing is providing other people with a kit, a model kit, and saying, “Here, build something out of this. Once it’s a thing, then I get to see it.” You say, “If it takes 25 years, so be it.” It may take a million years, meaning just the thought that, “Oh, obviously, it’ll happen sometime between now and 25 years from now.” It’s not going to happen. It’s not anything that anybody will be interested in because it’s just a script from somebody that now is a burden upon the person who actually does have to write the show, that now they have to share created-by credit with somebody who literally wrote 60 pages once.

I would strongly recommend, Casey, that instead of putting this in a screenplay format for a TV show– I guess, it sounds like you’re writing a pilot. If you’ve been writing it for two years, I’m also concerned. Write the novel. Write the novel, because that is its own thing, separate and apart. Then people love adapting novels to TV shows, and then it’s fine. Michael Crichton and all that. Writing a script when you’re not a writer and you’re not going to be a writer, it’s like, “You know what? I really like blowing babies up in people. I got a great idea for a baby. I don’t want to be a dad, but I got a great idea for a baby.” Seeing as how you have two young kids, you know what I mean, Casey. It ain’t about conceiving a child, it’s about raising it. That’s what we do as writers, it’s the raising babies.

John: Raising babies. Craig, we did it. We made it through 20 questions.

Craig: Let’s do 20 more.

John: Instead let’s do one cool things.

Craig: Fair.

John: My one cool thing is Rachel Bloom’s Death, Let Me Do My Special. It’s her new special on Netflix. This has been a long time coming, so if you watch it, I don’t want to give too many spoilers for it. Essentially in 2019, she started to come together with a comedy special and had a plan for what this was going to be. The pandemic happened. She had a baby, her longtime collaborator died of COVID. The whole idea of how do I do a comedy special became fraught. She spent years developing this thing. I’ve seen many incarnations of it.

I saw it at Dynasty Typewriter where we do our live shows, I saw it at Largo, and now I got to see the filmed version. It’s terrific. She’s so smart. Her songs are, of course, phenomenal. It does some really interesting things with a form of what a comedy special should be.

Craig: I got to get on this. I’m a bad friend. I got to get on this. Now, a question for you since you’ve seen so many versions of it. Is it Death, let Me Do My Special or is it Death Let Me Do My Special? Is it let, allowed, or I’m asking permission from death?

John: You’re asking permission from death.

Craig: Got it.

John: Death is a character in the show.

Craig: Death, Let Me Do My Special.

John: Yes.

Craig: Got it. Excellent.

John: It’s on Netflix and everywhere worldwide right now.

Craig: Love Rachel. Congrats Rachel. My one cool thing is the Warner Brothers lot.

John: I love the Warner Brothers lot.

Craig: These days lots are getting less and less lotty. Paramount is an amazing lot, then no one’s there. Maybe that’ll change now that it’s being sold. Paramount was the first lot I ever stepped foot on.

John: Same.

Craig: I was like, “Oh, my God.” It was packed with cars and people and-

John: Star Trek.

Craig: -Star Trek aliens in the commissary, and bungalows full of geniuses. It’s a ghost town now. The Fox lot was the second lot I ever stepped onto, which also fascinating beehive, which I suspect is less beehivey.

John: Oh yes, it’s dead there.

Craig: It’s dead. The Warner Brothers lot is still alive. We’re doing our post-production in a building on the Warner Brothers lot. You walk around and you see production happening on the back lot, and you see all these people coming out by where the commissary is and sitting outside of the tables and there’s this togetherness. There are the trams coming through, but they’re not like the Universal, like Universal is clearly turning themselves into-

John: A theme park.

Craig: -a theme park with an office building built on top of a parking structure. Warner Brothers doesn’t have that. It’s no theme park and it just feels like, okay, there’s still some old fashioned Hollywood going on here. Disney is still a lot, but Disney is Disney.

John: Yes, Disney lot is actually fantastic but Warner–

Craig: It is, but it’s very Disney-ish.

John: At Warner you get the animaniacs acts running around all the time, coming down for the little water tower.

Craig: Because they have cocaine in them?

John: Indeed. They’re cocaine-ers.

Craig: They’re cocaine-ers. I miss it and I wish we could get back to it and it’s not — The Paramount is my great hope. The Sony lot is also a lot, but it’s weird.

John: The Sony is weird. It’s divided. It’s on two different sides.

Craig: Exactly.

John: I said that Paramount was my first lot, but I think I actually had a class with Laura Ziskin on the Sony lot first. The Sony lot is really confusing to find your way around in.

Craig: It’s isolating and it’s maze-like, and they really have just like one “street”. Warner Brothers is just beautiful.

John: It’s gorgeous.

Craig: It’s sun baked and it’s so beautiful that their logo reflects all the — It’s got all those wonderful sound stages.

John: Elon Musk can debut products there.

Craig: Anyway. My one cool thing is a good old-fashioned old-school Hollywood lot that is still functioning and I’ll bump into people I know, and we’ll have lunch and who knows? The ideas might occur. It’s a nice place. I’m hoping that David Ellison can revitalize the Paramount lot. It’s truly extraordinary.

John: It really is fantastic. We have a request from a listener. They’re one cool thing. Drew, help us out with this.
Drew: Yes, this is from our listener, Victoria. She writes, “This is a personal one that’s dear to my heart. Scarecrow Video in Seattle is so important as an institution for the preservation of film, and it would be a tragedy to lose something like this. They’re trying to raise 1.8 million before the end of the year to prevent closure. It’s an incredibly tiny sum of money given the amount of billionaire-owned corporations and arts endowments in Seattle. It seems like no one wants to step up. Paul Allen probably would have if he was still alive, but there it is. I know you all care about the disappearance of film titles, something Scarecrow actively works against. It would be a loss to Seattle and the world if this collection was shut down.” She links to the fundraising and an article from UW magazine.

John: Fantastic. Great. Yes, video stores are this interesting place right now because while we don’t need to go there to rent DVDs and videotapes, they are sometimes the last place to get these things. They’ve also become basically social places where you can throw events. Finding that balance feels crucial.

Craig: Yes. Listen, rooting for them. Always difficult to rely on a fundraiser to keep your business going.

John: Yes, because it then implies the model itself is not sustainable.

Craig: It does feel like an end stage, kind of, we can extend your life by six months. I’m hopeful and who knows, maybe this would–

John: Yes, maybe the fundraiser is to get them to a new thing–

Craig: A new thing where they can. Sure, it would be great if — It’s Seattle so, hey, Bill Gates. Why not? Right? Rooting for you.

John: Yes. That is our show for this week. Scriptnotes is produced by Drew Marquardt and edited by Matthew Chilelli. Our outro this week is by Nick Moore. If you have an outro, you can send us a link to ask@johnaugust.com.

That’s also the place where you can send questions. You will find the show notes for this episode and all episodes at johnaugust.com. That’s also where you find transcripts and sign up for our weekly newsletter called Interesting, which has lots of links to things about writing.

We have T-shirts and hoodies and glassware. They’re all great. You’ll find them at Cotton Bureau. You can sign up to become a premium member at scriptnotes.net where you get all the back episodes and bonus segments like the one we’re about to record on the Dungeons & Dragons player’s handbook. Craig and Drew, thank you for getting through these 20 questions.

Craig: Thank you, guys.

Drew: Thank you.

[Bonus Segment]

John: All right, bonus segment. Thank you to all our premium members. We now get to go through one of our favorite things in the world, which is the Player’s Handbook. Craig, what do you hold in your hands right now?

Craig: I’m holding the Advanced D&D Player’s Handbook. This is 1978.

John: So you had this book.

Craig: AD&D. I did and I did not understand it.

John: Yes, and that’s what’s so crucial about these books is that they’re difficult to get into. They’re full of tables, so many tables.

Craig: So many tables.

John: Then lists of spells that are duplicated for each of the different classes that could cast identical spells, which is nuts.

Craig: Looking at this, I can understand why I was fascinated as a kid and it starts with the cover. Art has always been a huge part of these books. This is something that Wizards of the Coast is getting pretty savvy with. There’s so much art in the new one. This old one, what you had was this big, demonic, devilish creature with gems for eyes.

John: Yes, a statue of it.

Craig: Yes, a statue of some rogues trying to pull it out. You had some cool guys in the foreground and a dead snake man. All these wonderful things that made me go, “Yes.” Then you open it and the text is so tiny.

John: It’s tiny. It is like a Helvetica font.

Craig: It is dense and it is for adults. That’s the thing that really I didn’t I’d understand as a kid was, and especially AD&D, how this was not for — I was seven. Look at the tables and charts index. That’s like six-point font. Even that, and we could read it back then.

John: Yes, because we were young.

Craig: We were like, “Oh, no.” I could not crack into this.

John: Hand that to Drew because I don’t think he’s seen that. Also on the table here, we have all the different editions between them. That was the first edition. The 1989 second edition Players Handbook, 2E.

Craig: That was a very popular one for a long time.

John: It was a very popular one. 2E stayed around for a long time, and it got closer just to what we’re expecting now.

Craig: Ish.

John: Ish, but there were still fundamental changes to the rules with each new generation of this thing.

Craig: Oh, yes.

John: Going back to the original AD&D Player’s Handbook, the systems that it established were really taken from tabletop role-playing, tabletop combat simulation games.

Craig: Yes, it was chain mail, I think was what it was. Gygax had his initial thing.

John: There were a lot of tables. Your armor class, you wanted a negative number for your armor class, which is crazy.

Craig: Negative armor class was very confusing.

John: You would roll your twenty-sided die to see if you hit somebody, but then you had to consult a chart to see what it was. Over the years, they made some simplifications to things to make things a little more streamlined.

Craig: No more [unintelligible 01:16:36] You hit armor class zero.

John: Zero, yes, was the goal. Second edition still felt like it was a cleaned-up version of probably first edition. There were some changes but it still had the same core classes.

Craig: Yes, but you can start to see, if you look at the cover of AD&D Player’s Handbook, and the font, Advanced D&D, right? Then you look at the font for 2E, you can start to see that they’ve actually discovered, they’re starting to get closer to what becomes like the standard — It’s readable and the cover art is exciting.

John: There’s color inside.

Craig: There’s color inside. Look, it’s not as tiny-tiny and they have explanations of things. Original D&D was not meant to be as big as it was. It was really part of this mail-order, catalogy world of people who are into combat simulation. Now it catches on and you can start to see it getting closer. Fourth Edition, maybe it was a step backwards, I think, in terms of complexity. By the time you get to Fifth Edition, which is now 10 years ago, that’s when everything changed.

John: First edition, 1974. Second Edition, we played a bit, no one would talk about that. Third Edition, really 3.5, became the default standard D&D that people are thinking about. In 2014, there was this fourth edition, no one cares.

Craig: Fourth Edition.

John: Fourth Edition, they tried to systematize things in a way that felt very much like it was taken from video role-playing games. Everything was in these neat silos and it was tidy in some ways, but not interesting.

Craig: D&D just started withering. A lot of people were like, “I’m not playing that version.” What you ended up having were loads of people playing like, “No, we play 2. We play AD&D, like old-school AD&D, or we play version 2 or we play version 3, 5. We’re not doing 4.” Now you have everybody all over the place. Then 5 comes along and sweeps everybody up. It was like they fixed so much and made it so much more fun. I have to say, so far, based on the 2024. So 2024 is not version 6. We’re going to end up calling it 5.5. 2024 is too, damn– It’s 5.5 and I love it so far.

John: I think they made some really [unintelligible 01:19:08].

Craig: Really good changes.

John: Before we get into it though, Drew, this is your first time seeing any of these books. What is your reaction to them?

Drew: My reaction to the original AD&D book is: that is my hell.

Craig: Yes, terrifying, right?

Drew: Terrifying.

Craig: It’s intimidating.

Drew: The character classes, too, just the words get overwhelming. When you look at the table of contents, this is obviously, this is a manual. I can understand if you’re going to find a specific thing, it’s very helpful for that. Looking at the difference between the chapters, like chapter 8 into chapter 9, you can’t even tell where–

Craig: No, there’s zero layout. By the way, the 5th edition had no real index, no real good chaptering.

John: If you look at my copy here, I’ve added little tabs to the edge so you can find stuff.

Craig: We all added tabs, which is insane. Thankfully now they have a good index, although everything is also digital now, so it’s a little easier. Look at the difference in thickness.

We’re looking at the second edition and the original, versus 2024. ’24 has so many more pages. Why? Less information in this handbook. Bigger font. More artwork.

John: So much more artwork, all in color.

Craig: So much more fun and things are laid out carefully, so when you get into spells, like here, I’m into the spell section. Look.

Drew: Oh, that’s beautiful.

Craig: There’s five spells per page. How many spells per page in the in the D&D?

John: Oh God. 10?

Craig: More? Look at this. It’s insane. It’s a tiny, tiny, tiny. Look at how long the descriptions are. Based on how long the descriptions are here, they really also just got good at–

John: Yes, summarizing or basically standardizing on how to talk about things. How to talk about the diameter of an [unintelligible 01:20:48] something like that. Let’s talk about the function, though, of a player’s handbook because it’s a manual meant to provide instructions, but it’s also a reference material. You’re constantly referring back to things in it. That’s the source of truth for everyone playing. Everyone agrees to be the same thing. Even though it’s called the player’s handbook, it’s really the handbook for everyone because all of it’s the Dungeon Master’s Guide.

Craig: Dungeon Master’s Guide is optional. It just gives you optional extra stuff to learn and consider.

John: It gives you descriptions of magical items and things like that.

Craig: Some rules about cover in combat and little stuff like that, which is great. I mean, I have it. If you’re a DM, you should have it, but the handbook is all you need.

John: Yes. Then, of course, the third book in the Trinity would be a Monster manual. That was from the very start.

Craig: That’s just downloadable content. It’s extra stuff.

John: What is so different about– because you and I both started playing again with the 2014 rules. As we started playing, we were bemoaning the fact that this player’s handbook is so hard to find some stuff in. But then over the years, everything was just online. Now, as we were playing last night, we just Google a thing. If we needed to know what is the damage of a thrown trident, we’re googling that. We’re not looking up on a book.

Craig: Right. If you’re inside your VTT, like roll 20, go to the companion. You’re on D&D Beyond, just look it up. It’s all integrated in there. Yes, there are also third-party websites that have compiled everything. Finding stuff now, no problem. What I really appreciate about the– We don’t need to get to the esoteric of the rules changes. I think people will fall asleep.

But what I do love about the 5.5, the new manual, is that it spends time up front doing the one thing I wish they had done in 1978 for seven-year-old me, which is to go, “What is this actually? What is this game?” Because I was like, what I know about games is there’s a board and you move around and you get to the end, how do you win, all these things. That’s not how D&D works but they never freaking told you that. In the original book, they’re just like [unintelligible 01:22:54] Not that good.

John: Basically, it’s like, here are your attributes, like strength and intelligence.

Craig: What am I doing?

John: What are you doing? This book does a very smart job is it really talks through the little transcript of like, these are players playing the game, and this is what they’re saying and doing around the table.

Craig: This is how the game works.

John: Yes, exactly. You’re talking about the players independently of the characters that they’re playing, which is a crucial distinction there.

Craig: Yes, and teaching you how the DM interacts to provide boundaries, tests, challenges, information. All of that stuff is so important. Just having that at the beginning to say, if you have no idea how this works, it’s not like a game.

John: If you were to pick up the original player’s handbook, or really any player’s handbook up to now, and just like, “How does this work?” You would have a very hard time doing it unless someone could show you. This, I think you could actually pick up. If you actually started reading from page one, you would get something. These books were never designed to be read from page one, but this one you actually could.

Craig: Yes, this is an excellent evolution just from the point of view of clarity and then all the rules changes. Basically, the player base of D&D is expanded dramatically but at its core, there will always be a lot of people who are on the spectrum. When I talk to my daughter who loves Elden Ring, I’m like– and she’s autistic. I’m like, “This is a game made by autistic people for autistic people.” And D&D at its core, it really does appeal to people on the spectrum.

People on the spectrum are remarkably good at parsing rules, finding loopholes, exploits, what we call cheese in D&D, like ways to just easily do something that’s supposed to be hard, working various synergies. Over time, the rules-keepers, Jeremy Crawford, et cetera, start to shape things to cut off some of those loopholes, or if things seemed like they were too powerful, nerf them, as we say. Things seem too weak, buff them. They’ve done a really good job with that without breaking stuff.

John: Absolutely. The other thing I think this new version does, and it finds a good happy medium in there, is responding to how we think about things in 2024, which are different than 2014 and earlier years. Instead of races, we talk about species. There’s much less emphasis on what your species is, in terms of what special things it gives you. Classically, going back to the first one, like dwarves get plus one on strength or something.

Craig: They still have it. They’re walking a line clearly, so there is something a little weird about constantly going on– the word racial comes up a lot in D&D, like why do you have dark vision? Oh, it’s racial. There’s class attributes, racial attributes. Everybody gets a little squirmy about that now. They still have it, but they have deemphasized a lot of that, and they put way more of it into your background, which used to be a completely useless thing. It gave you two proficiencies and your skills, who cares?

John: Or loot.

Craig: Now the ability scores are connected to your background, not your race. What you end up with– your species, sorry. What you end up with your species are things like dark vision, can’t be put to sleep if you’re an elf. Look, there are no elves, there are no dwarves, there are no [unintelligible 01:26:20] or any of these things. Fantasy is fantasy and we can all– but we recognize, like when you look at the archetypes of these things going back to Tolkien, there are some tropes that work their way in. I think they handle the sensitivities here well without wandering into performative. I thought it was well managed.

John: Absolutely. It’s also a fairly public process, which is a challenging thing to do. As they were developing this new player’s handbook, they went through all these–

Craig: Testing cycles.

John: Testing cycles, basically. They would show you current state of it. You could download it and play it and see what that was like. That’s scary, but I think it was useful because there were big things they were going to try to do that they took out.

Craig: Absolutely.

John: Things like they were going to combine the spell list in this different way that nobody liked.

Craig: That’s what’s great about playtesting, especially with the core D&D audience. They’ll tell you like, “I hate this,” or you’ll watch them abuse something. It’s all about balance. I think on the whole, this 5.5 version tilts things more towards the player.

John: It tilts things more towards fun, which I think is crucial.

Craig: That’s what does make fun, right? Now, you do need to challenge players and make it — There’s a little bit of a–

John: Creep. Yes.

Craig: Mission creep, where you get more stuff, so then the monsters get more stuff, or else you’re just walking over everybody and you don’t care. That’s always interesting to keep an eye on. But I also love the way that they basically give everybody a feat to start with, because feats are things that a lot of players just sort of skipped past. They’re also really smart about how they’re handling multi-classing because they have two wings. They have the casual players who really don’t dig in too deep. Then they have the real D&D nerds who will go crazy and figure out that if you become a Paladin and a Sorcerer, now you’re a Sorcadin and you can do all this cool like, “Oh,” and then it gets crazy.

John: Absolutely. I think they have to both reward the person who wants to do that kind of thing and also not make it so that it breaks the game for anybody who doesn’t want to do it.

Craig: They are aware as anyone that a game is only as good as its DM. Have they put the new DM?

John: No.

Craig: That I’m hoping does the similar thing in the beginning that this handbook does, which is to teach DMs a little bit, because the bottom line is they’ve made this amazing system. If you have a bad DM, it’s a bad game.

John: Yes, totally.

Craig: Just as simple as that. If you have a good one, it’s a good one.

John: Yes. The DM is the DJ, it’s the host of the party, it’s the person who’s–

Craig: Storyteller. That’s also the person that needs to figure out how to balance things so that you are scared, and then when you succeed, you feel something as opposed to just, “Meh, next.” It’s tricky. You’ve been doing a great job. John has been our DM now for quite some time in this campaign, and Michael’s a good DM. We have great DMs.

John: We do and we have a great new player’s handbook.

Craig: We do.

John: Thank you much.

Craig: Thank you, guys.

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