John August

Television

Comments for Jane Espenson

Resources, Television

Jane Espenson runs a [terrific blog](http://www.janeespenson.com/) offering advice on writing TV spec scripts. If you’re at all interested in writing for television, it’s worth checking out.

Jane’s site has two quirky aspects. First off, she consistently notes what she ate for lunch. Second, she doesn’t offer any online mechanism for reader feedback. Not only are comments turned off, but she doesn’t even provide a contact email. Instead, she lists a post office mailbox. You’re supposed to write a letter the old-fashioned-way.

That’s her prerogative, certainly. But it makes it difficult to point out simple errors she might want to correct. For instance, [this post](http://www.janeespenson.com/archives/00000338.php) from last week:

I’m sure there are many of these out there, but tonight I’m just presenting the first documented clamshell that has captured my attention. Remember these lines?

You smell like aftershave and taco meat. (Blades of Glory)
You smell like beef and cheese. (Elf)
You smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches. (The Wedding Planner)
You smell like old people and soap. (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)

That last one is from my script for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the Gene Wilder version, and doesn’t feature that line.)

A simple mistake, easily corrected. But how am I to tell her? I suppose I’ll need to write her a letter, and find a stamp with which to mail it.

This got me thinking: Since she and I probably have a significant overlap of readership, why not provide a feedback mechanism for her? So here’s what I’m going to do.

Next Monday (April 30th, 2007), I’m going to print out this post and all attached comments and mail it to Jane. So if there’s anything you’d like to ask her, or a response to something she’s written, just leave it as a comment on this post.

Remember, these comments are for Jane’s blog, not mine.

Me? I’m having Quizno’s for lunch. A mesquite chicken sandwich, no bacon.

Trusting your audience

Rave, Television, Words on the page

Spoiler Warning: If you have “Heroes” sitting on your TiVo, watch it first.
====

Last night’s “Heroes” did something I wish more shows would try: they trusted their audience to fill in missing scenes.

If you’ll recall, near the start of the episode, bad guy Sylar escaped, locking Claire’s Faux-Daddy in his cell. Sylar then went to Claire’s house, to chit-chat with Mom and await Claire’s return — presumably so he could eat her brain. Growing bored, The Man of Endless Eyebrows eventually revealed his menace and got all telekinevil.

Something had to happen, or Mrs. Bennett would certainly end up dead. But the options were few. Claire was off visiting Trailer Park Mom in Kermit, Faux-Daddy was locked in the cell, and Hiro was trapped in a thunderously dull subplot about his father.

So it was a genuine surprise when Faux-Daddy showed up, guns blazing. A few steps behind him, we saw the not-really-mute Haitian Guy who works for him, and realized, “Aha!”

Simply by putting Haitian Guy in the room, the writers were able to omit the seemingly obligatory scene in which Haitian Guy finds Faux Daddy, frees Faux Daddy, and nods silently as Faux Daddy shouts that, “We have to get to my house, now!” As television viewers, we’re sophisticated enough to figure out what we missed — and therefore, not really miss it. But too rarely do shows really trust us to make these logic leaps.

My kudos to the hard-working writing staff for not writing that scene. (Or, if they did, kudos to the editors for omitting it.) I almost guarantee they got a network note saying it was unclear how Faux Daddy got out, but one benefit of being the hottest new show on television is the ability to ignore notes.

Lost Rooms and American Zombies

Prince of Persia, Projects, Psych 101, Television

elleI set the TiVo to grab SciFi Channel’s “The Lost Room” mini-series, largely because it co-stars Elle Fanning, who is also in The Nines. The two projects seem to overlap thematically: in my movie, Elle plays the key to a dark conspiracy; in the series, Elle is a player in a dark conspiracy about a key.

It’s a giant relief to see The Lost Room, because it’s very similar to a show I nearly pitched this season — which would have involved Elle getting kidnapped, a cult, and mysterious goings-on. Since The Lost Room effectively precludes my idea, why do I classify it as a relief?

Because now I don’t have to write it.

Many of the projects I write — and the majority of the projects I produce — begin because an idea will present itself and I’ll think, “Wow, someone should really do that.” I’m sure a sizable portion of the American public has similar “why doesn’t somebody…” ideas. The difference is, I am that somebody. I can call up ABC and pitch a show and get a fair chunk of money to write it. But it’s not always the best use of my time.

“Someone should do a crime show set in Alaska” — six months writing and shooting the Alaska pilot

“No one’s ever done a show about private military contractors” — a year and a half writing three different versions of the pilot for Fox

“Prince of Persia would make a great movie” — going on three years executive producing an adaptation, which still doesn’t have a start date

So that’s why, sometimes, I’m delighted when someone else has the same good idea. I recently had 30 projects on my “To Write” list. Now I have 29. Actually, 28…

I just saw in the Slamdance catalog a listing for American Zombie. That’s a title I’ve had on my list for three years, without any real story to go with it, just a sense that, “Someone should make a movie called American Zombie.”

Now someone has. The director’s name is Grace Lee. I hope her movie’s terrific. Either way, I thank her deeply.

Help! I’m getting screwed on my own series

QandA, Rights and Copyright, Television

[questionmark]A year and a half ago I pitched a scripted series to a cable network and it was optioned for development.

I was contracted for and completed a series bible, and script (plus polish). Based on programming issues they were having, they decided they wanted to change the direction and tone of the series. So I was contracted for and wrote another script (plus polish) under the new creative. All of this was without a series deal in place. I worked only with contracts for the scripts. Those contracts stated “good faith” negotiations if/when they decided to go to pilot/series. Terminating me from project reverts rights to me.

They loved it, they said. A surefire hit, they said. Let’s find a showrunner, they said.

Perhaps I should have begun to sweat right then and there. But I was excited about a showrunner, especially since they were reaching out to high caliber people. Every showrunner (supposedly) said the same thing. “This is a franchise.”

I was asked to choose one of the suggested names and was excited by the options. They told us they were skipping the pilot — going straight to series.

And then came the series negotiations, and the hell I am currently in. The money offered is despicable. (As this is cable, I use peer standards, not even industry. And it was worse than bad.) My highly reputable lawyer is disrespectful and rude to me and promised numbers that he didn’t run by me first. And all credits (Creator and Producer) are subject to either WGA or CAVCO. They will not lock for life, only one cycle. The ONLY thing guaranteed is 2 out of 12 episodes written. They have made it clear that the high profile showrunner is the priority.

Is there any way to salvage this situation? How does one determine when to walk away? I am well aware of how many people would do anything to get their ideas on screen. Without a guarantee of credits or money, is it worth it?

Full rights do revert back to me, but not for approximately 2 years.

— M
Los Angeles

Get a new lawyer. Fast.

You’ll have no trouble finding one. Assuming you have an agent/manager, get them on the hunt. If you don’t, start calling the major entertainment law firms (they’re all in Beverly Hills or Century City) and say this:

“Hi. My name is Mary Writer, I have a series commitment over at Comedy Central (or wherever). I’m looking for a new attorney to close the deal.”

You’ll get someone. Trust me.

Are you in jeopardy of getting pushed off the show you created? Absolutely. But the Big Showrunner is no doubt WGA, which means “created by” credit will be handled by the WGA. Which means you’re almost certainly going to get credit. Ask [Jeffrey Lieber](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0509340/) from Lost.

Now, stop reading and start dialing. You need a better attorney, stat.