John August

Psych 101

September 11th

Psych 101, QandA

(Note: This article comes from February 2002. I’m including it as part of my summer reruns, and crossing my fingers it doesn’t become timely.)

Finding inspiration
and motivation to write is hard enough on an average day, but ever since the
September 11th attacks and the chaos which has followed, I feel especially
useless.
As I am not a professional writer, there are no demands
or deadlines forcing me to stretch those muscles with any regularity. The
state of the world we
live in makes me sad, angry, and afraid. While those emotions may drive others
to create an expression of their feelings, I simply say to myself, "Why
should I bother? Movies don’t really matter."
How have you been dealing with the recent events and if you don’t mind, should
I bother? Thank you for taking the time.

–Russ

Screenwriting is a pretty trivial profession even on the most sun-dappled
days. In the context of human tragedy and international strife, it’s even harder
to justify the ninth revision of your hockey-playing chimpanzee comedy. (For
the record, there is already a hockey-playing
chimpanzee comedy.)
Much like every single person in North America, I went through the same stages
of bewilderment, frustration, grief and fear after the September attacks. But
after about a week, I got back on the saddle and started writing again.

Why? I think the answer is that I had to do something, and I’m better at writing
than anything else I’ve found. I’m a pretty good cook, and know my way around
a Macintosh in terms of graphic design, but pretty much the only hope I have
of keeping a roof over my head is to continue to write. I don’t always enjoy
it, and sometimes it makes me miserable. But in the sense that anyone truly
has a calling, this is probably mine.

Now, since I’m a screenwriter and not a psychologist or counsellor, I’m completely
unqualified to judge whether the sadness, anger and fear you’re feeling five
months after the attacks is healthy. Obviously, it’s unproductive in the most
literal sense, since you wish to be writing but find you can’t. So my advice
to you would be my advice to any friend in your situation: find somebody who
can help you out.

For what it’s worth, my friends and family who’ve sought help invariably say
they wasted months making up their minds to see someone. Once they finally
did, things improved much faster than they expected, and the world seemed much
less onerous.

As far as should you bother writing, I’d argue it’s absolutely worth the trouble.
Because while it’s true that some things did change on September 11th, 99.9%
of things are exactly the same as they were on September 10th. What did change
is your perception of them, and that’s a much easier problem to address.

An intern with a script

Film Industry, Psych 101, QandA

questionmarkI’m a USC student, and I have a summer job as an assistant at one of the big agencies in town. Would it be a faux pas to ask someone, like an agent, to read my spec script? The assistant who sits next to me has a script, too, but is submitting it to Disney rather than asking someone here to read it, which makes me think it’s not done, to ask someone here to read my spec. Any thoughts?

— J.G.

Here’s the thing: Every intern has a script. So don’t shove your spec on anyone at the agency. Buckle down and do your internship, asking smart questions or becoming invisible as the situation warrants.

As the summer progresses, figure out which of your fellow interns are not evil. And if the situation warrants, invite them to read your script — and do the same for them. These peers are actually far more helpful in the long run than your superiors.

If, as the internship is winding down, you’ve really hit it off with one particular agent, you can mention that you wrote a comedy about vampire wrestlers in Tucson. If he says, “Hey, I’d like to read that,” great. If he nods and looks uncomfortable, don’t push it. You’ll ruin a possible contact later on.

Inconvenient brilliance

Psych 101, QandA, Writing Process

questionmarkHow come I get all my best ideas when I’m jogging? Any experience with this phenomenon?

— Ben
Los Angeles

It’s because your brain hates you.

Well, maybe not *hates.* After all, it is giving you what you want — a good idea. It’s just that its timing is atrocious. It’s like having a girlfriend who is only in the mood for love during the last 20 minutes of [Lost](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0411008/). You have to choose between sex and seeing the underwater station for the first time.

Here’s my advice: always choose sex. Because if you don’t, eventually, you’ll stop being offered it.

Those great ideas that come while you’re jogging? Write ’em down or you’ll lose them — and worse, you may dry up the well of ideas. If your brain notices you’re not paying attention to the good ideas it generates, it may decide to stop bothering. And then you’re screwed.

So always carry a pen. Pick up a piece of paper trash. Write on your hand if you have to. It’s often just one or two words which will let you remember what the idea was.

For me, the majority of these inconvenient ideas come at 11:30 at night, as I’m trying to fall asleep. There’s a weighing process as I decide whether it’s worthy of hauling my ass to the bathroom, where I keep a notebook handy to scribble down these ideas. Probably 70% of the time, I do get out of bed. At least half of the “big ideas” in [The Nines](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810988/) were first scribbled down in this book, along with the plots of enough unwritten movies to keep me busy for a decade.

This is part of what sucks about being a writer. I have a hunch that accountants don’t have this problem.

Lost Rooms and American Zombies

Prince of Persia, Projects, Psych 101, Television

elleI set the TiVo to grab SciFi Channel’s “The Lost Room” mini-series, largely because it co-stars Elle Fanning, who is also in The Nines. The two projects seem to overlap thematically: in my movie, Elle plays the key to a dark conspiracy; in the series, Elle is a player in a dark conspiracy about a key.

It’s a giant relief to see The Lost Room, because it’s very similar to a show I nearly pitched this season — which would have involved Elle getting kidnapped, a cult, and mysterious goings-on. Since The Lost Room effectively precludes my idea, why do I classify it as a relief?

Because now I don’t have to write it.

Many of the projects I write — and the majority of the projects I produce — begin because an idea will present itself and I’ll think, “Wow, someone should really do that.” I’m sure a sizable portion of the American public has similar “why doesn’t somebody…” ideas. The difference is, I am that somebody. I can call up ABC and pitch a show and get a fair chunk of money to write it. But it’s not always the best use of my time.

“Someone should do a crime show set in Alaska” — six months writing and shooting the Alaska pilot

“No one’s ever done a show about private military contractors” — a year and a half writing three different versions of the pilot for Fox

“Prince of Persia would make a great movie” — going on three years executive producing an adaptation, which still doesn’t have a start date

So that’s why, sometimes, I’m delighted when someone else has the same good idea. I recently had 30 projects on my “To Write” list. Now I have 29. Actually, 28…

I just saw in the Slamdance catalog a listing for American Zombie. That’s a title I’ve had on my list for three years, without any real story to go with it, just a sense that, “Someone should make a movie called American Zombie.”

Now someone has. The director’s name is Grace Lee. I hope her movie’s terrific. Either way, I thank her deeply.