John August

Pitches

Do I need a caveat?

Pitches, Psych 101, QandA

questionmarkMy question is simple, albeit mildly existential. I recently completed a spec — a raunchy, R-rated, Apatow-esque comedy — that a mother couldn’t love. Even mine. Think “Something About Mary” and you’ll begin to get the picture.

Of course, buried in the premise, there’s a sweet love story and all that jazz, but it’s pretty crass stuff, replete with humor that, if taken the wrong way, could easily offend. Naturally, as an aspiring writer, I don’t want agents and the like to think: “Man, that Evan sure is homophobic and likes to talk about Mormon orgies.” Is there a way to address this in a query letter? Pitch meeting? Or should I just assume everyone will understand writers don’t necessarily create characters that they agree with?

— Evan
Los Angeles

Don’t stress over it. Hollywood folk are savvy enough to realize that actors who play serial killers aren’t themselves dangerous, and that the guys who wrote Saw aren’t any sicker than most screenwriters.

In a query letter, don’t back away from your premise or your big moments. If you wrote raunchy, let them know it’s raunchy. In a pitch meeting, there will be plenty of time to establish that you’re a normal human being without gay Mormon issues. And if they like your idea, they won’t care one way or the other.

Bailing on an idea

Film Industry, Pitches, QandA

questionmarkI recently got representation, and my agents fell in love with my latest spec idea. Cut to nearly six weeks later and I still haven’t been able to hash it out completely. How do you know when to keep going at an idea in an attempt to crack it and or when to call it a day and realize the idea is not as good as you first thought it was?

What do I tell my agents if I can’t crack it?

— Stef

Your agents probably got excited by the idea because they think they can sell it — and you, as the writer.

Six weeks is a long time. I say this not to panic you, but to make sure you understand that employable screenwriters need to be able to produce on demand. You promised them something and didn’t deliver — that makes them nervous. How can they convince producers to hire you when you can’t hand them the script you yourself pitched?

Yes, sometimes seemingly-good ideas collapse upon further scrutiny, and it’s ultimately better to bail. If you truly can’t make your idea work, you need to move quickly on writing something else that is similarly marketable, even if it’s not the same genre. And you need to do it now.

When your agents ask, “What are you working on?” you should be able to answer immediately and passionately. So if it’s not the project you pitched them, make sure it’s something they’re going to be excited to read.

How to handle a phone meeting

Film Industry, How-To, Pitches, QandA

questionmarkI’m a 23-year-old aspiring screenwriter who recently placed in the Nicholl fellowship competition. I’ve heard from others who made the cut some years back to begin preparing for phone calls from managers, agents and producers who may be interested in my script — which is both exciting and terrifying.

I was wondering if you could share some insight/commentary about pitching over the phone for people like me who do not (yet) live in Los Angeles. I’d hate to squander an opportunity like this because of bad phone etiquette.

– Alexander
Worcester, MA

The life of a screenwriter, both employed and aspiring, involves a fair number of phone calls. Most are short “just-checking-in” calls. But at least twice a week I find myself in your situation, having to handle something on the phone that would ideally be done face-to-face. I can offer a few suggestions for making the best of it.

1. Put yourself in the room.
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Imagine that you’re sitting in the guy’s office, having a face-to-face meeting. Obviously, you have no idea what that office looks like, but you’re a screenwriter, so you should be able to conjure something up. More importantly, imagine whom you’re speaking with. You need a face in order to make eye contact. ((One downside of this technique: there are executives whom I’ve had long relationships with strictly on the phone and by email. By the time I meet them in person, my brain is locked into one image of them, and the actual person seems like an impostor.))

I know this sounds goofy, but I think it makes a huge difference. You’re much more engaged when you’re looking someone in the eye — even if it’s all make-believe. It changes your voice, your pace, your word selection. It really helps.

2. Don’t multi-task.
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If a phone call is important, dedicate every available brain cell to it. Turn off your computer and any other distraction. If possible, schedule the call. (Even then, there’s a high possibility that an assistant will call at the last minute to push it back 15 minutes. Don’t take any offense.)

3. Rehearse key points.
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Since you’re going to be talking with possible producers, agents and managers, you can anticipate the kinds of things that will come up.

* Do you see yourself as mostly writing TV or film?
* What are you working on now?
* What’s happening with that script from the Nicholl?

You want answers to those questions, ideally phrased in ways that make you sound confident, flexible and funny. For example, if they ask if you’re living in Los Angeles, a good answer is, “Almost. I’m packing as we speak.” That may not be entirely accurate, but the person on the other end needs to hear that you’re serious about getting to Hollywood.

4. Ask and listen.
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Don’t spend every brain cycle formulating the next clever thing to say. Ask questions and engage. If you’re speaking with someone for the first time, make sure you’re learning something about them as well.

Pitching on the phone is largely the same as pitching in person, with the added challenge of not being able to read body language. So keep it really short — like four sentences — unless they ask for more detail.

Is it risky to spec something in the public domain?

Adaptation, Pitches, Producers, QandA

questionmarkLately I’ve been adapting novels and shorts stories that are in the public domain and I’m worried that some producer I query could just forget about me and hire someone else to adapt the same novel after my query letter puts it in their head it would make a good movie.

Now I know stealing ideas rarely happens and there isn’t anything I can do to protect my rights on a story in the public domain, but if a producer I query decides to adapt the same novel I have, without using my script, well then my script is pretty much dead in the water, right?

Basically I was curious to find out if you think I should stop worrying and pitch these adaptation, or should I focus on pitching the other two scripts I’ve written (which are based on true stories I control the rights to) and then pull out my adaptations once I forge a working relationship with a producer?

— Rob
Ohio

Would it suck if a producer, upon reading your query letter (or hearing your pitch), decided to go off and use the same public domain material as the basis for a different writer’s script? Yes.

Is it likely? Not really.

Let’s say you wrote an adaptation of some lesser-known [Christopher Marlowe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Marlowe) work. Say, “Dido, Queen of Carthage.” The producer is unlikely to know anything about the story, so if your pitch (or query) is interesting enough that he wants to know more, he’ll read your script. At that point, you’ve succeeded in getting a producer to read your material, and that’s the whole point of pitches and queries at this stage in your career.

Sure, you hope he loves it and wants to produce it. But that’s all dependent on his reaction to your writing. If he likes your writing, and he likes the idea, you’re golden. If he doesn’t like your writing, his loss.As a reminder, I assume that everyone writing in with a question is a fantastic screenwriter. This is an absurd postulate, but lets me sleep better at night.

Either way, I think it’s unlikely that your script would suddenly kindle an interest in a long-ignored literary property. I’m sure there are cases where that’s happened, but it feels like the exception, rather than the rule. So if the best script you have available is an adaptation of a public domain piece, by all means show it around.