QandA

Characters who are not yet important

December 22, 2007 QandA, Words on the page

If the first time a character appears in a screenplay, it is in a scene in which he does nothing — he is just a peripheral presence — should he be introduced at that point?

The specific scene I’m writing is a funeral. There are four characters in that scene that we haven’t met yet. In that scene they don’t really do or say anything notable; they are peripheral mourners. They will all become significant characters later on in the screenplay. Does convention dictate that I introduce them to the reader at that point? (When we meet them later on, we’re supposed to recognize them as having been present at the funeral.)

— Ed
New York City

Yes. If a character needs to be in a scene, you need to put him there. If you don’t, there’s every possibility he’ll get dropped out of the schedule when it comes time to shoot that scene. Screenplays are literary works, but they’re also instructions. Recipes of a sort. While it might be tempting to leave something out — “Of course they’ll remember that Balthazar is at the funeral!” — assumptions like this invite mistakes.

Ideally, the very first time we meet a character, his introduction should be meaningful, giving us some reason to remember who he is and keep us curious what he’ll do. But there are valid reasons why this might not happen, and crowded moments like funerals and weddings are one example.

So if you need to include a character in this way, remember that you’ll need to make your proper introduction later. For example, in the funeral scene, you might simply write…

Among the mourners are JOHN BALTHAZAR (50) and his wispy daughter FIONA (21), who hover near the edge of the crowd. Closer to the action are two imposing men in sunglasses — ELAN and MAX, both 25. We’ll meet them all later, but for now, they’re merely paying their respects.

Later in the script, when we really need to meet one of them, we can do the proper setup…

Glenn sits across the table from John Balthazar, who we saw briefly at the funeral. With broad shoulders and a piercing gaze, he has the look of a Viking forced to wear to a suit. He keeps his knife and fork clutched like weapons throughout the meal.

You don’t capitalize his name in this second introduction. Since it will be the first time he’s spoken, the dialogue should be enough to help the reader notice that someone new has joined the story.

For Your Consideration

December 21, 2007 Film Industry, Projects, The Nines

One of the perks of being in the WGA is that you get sent scripts and screener DVDs for many of the year’s best movies. Just this week, I got Juno and The Savages. My Christmas holiday to-watch list keeps getting longer.

WGA members are sent these scripts and screeners in the hopes that they’ll be nominated for the awards, obviously. ((Specifically the WGA Awards, which I have a hunch will not be picketed, unlike some others.)) But it’s not always clear why some movies are “For Your Consideration,” while others aren’t.

The answer has less to do with critics than calendars; the decision is made months before the movie is released. It’s made by studio marketing departments, who are looking at dates, cast and comparable films to figure out whether it’s worth the money and time it takes to mount a serious FYC campaign.

Sony decided Big Fish was an awards contender, so they bought the ads and publicity to support it. We screened for the National Board of Review and all of the other tastemakers. In the end, we got a handful of nominations. I got Best Adapted Screenplay nominations from the Broadcast Film Critics and the BAFTAs.

But a few years earlier, the studio didn’t try to get anything for Go. We’d debuted at Sundance, and had gotten terrific reviews, but since we hit theaters in February of that year, there were other movies for the studio to promote by the time awards season came. Doug Liman, Sarah Polley and I would have been longshots — but our names could certainly have been placed in the mix. But for Sony, a couple of award nominations would have meant very little for an R-rated teen comedy already at Blockbuster.

With the summer release of The Nines, I knew there was little chance we’d be remembered come awards time — and zero money for ads, mailers and screenings to refresh people’s memories. ((It didn’t matter that we’d only come out in New York, LA and Austin. Most of the awards-givers are conveniently housed there.)) I would have loved some actorly appreciation for Ryan and Melissa, who are consistently singled out in reviews for being terrific in multiple roles, even by critics who didn’t like the movie.

But I’ve tried not to be frustrated when looking at the 14th full page For Your Consideration ad in Variety for a “worthy” movie I know is worthless. The awards campaign was always part of these Very Important Movies’ marketing. It wasn’t for ours. Our target audience was the intersection of sci-fi geeks and Sundance aficionados, who we’ll reach better when the movie comes out on DVD on January 29th.

We didn’t send out the script of The Nines, although it’s been [available for download](http://johnaugust.com/library#nines) for months. With a bit of stomping and fuss, I probably could have gotten the distributor to mail it to at least WGA members. And I kind of regret not pushing for it, because I have a hunch that the small subset of members who actually read the scripts they’re sent ((My great frustration is that awards for Best Screenplay are given without any direct exposure to the screenplay. You’re watching the finished movie and guessing which ones were well-written. The more honest award would be given to the director for Not Fucking Up What Was Probably a Good Script.)) are the ones inclined to log in and do the new [online nominations](http://www.wga.org/awards/awardssub.aspx?id=59) for the WGA Awards.

So if you’re a WGA member who falls into that category, let me invite you to [read it](http://johnaugust.com/library#nines) and [nominate it](http://www.wga.org/awards/awardssub.aspx?id=59) if it seems like one of the five best contenders for Original Screenplay this year. (We’re number #109 on the ballot. The deadline is January 8th at noon.)

Did that feel uncomfortable? Because it was. It’s so much nicer to sit behind a glossy trade ad than ask a reader for his or her vote. But I just did.

I’ll be heading out for a Christmas holiday, but I’ll be checking in occasionally. If I don’t see you, have a good one.

Including the unknowable

December 10, 2007 QandA, Words on the page

I recently entered a screenwriting contest and got my wrists slapped for doing something that seemed logical to me. The first time I introduce a character, I do it like this:

SMITH stares at the bleachers and sees his wife, NOREEN, and his two kids, MARK and SHEILA.

The evaluators commented that I had “written what we can’t possible know” — that Noreen is the wife and Mark and Sheila are the children. Is this true? Have I made a faux pas that would brand me as a total loser of a screenwriter?

— Sung

You’re not a total loser. You may have lost that particular screenwriting contest, so yes, you’re a total loser in terms of that competition, but in the grand scheme of things, you’re not irredeemably lost.

Assuming this is the first time we’ve met Smith or his family, you’ve written a pretty blah introduction. Yes, I’m hoping that it’s brevity for sake of example, but before you go any further, you may want to re-read [How to Introduce a Character](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2007/how-to-introduce-character).

Are you back? Let’s continue.

Sometimes, honest-to-goodness professional screenwriters will include information that doesn’t seem exactly knowable. Matching up characters to their families is a good example. Yes, Smith could be looking to the bleachers and see a woman and two kids, who we only later find out are his family. But close your eyes and picture the scene. Imagine the shots. Any reasonable viewer is going to immediately grasp that the folks in the bleachers are his wife and kids, so it’s not a big cheat to include that in the scene description.

There are two kinds of “unknowable” information you can safely slip into your script.

**Things that are inherently apparent on screen.**

* The door is locked from the inside. (action reveals condition)
* Matt unlocks his bike. (presumed ownership)
* Sandra has a terrible head cold. (visible condition)
* He races down the aisles, looking for diapers. (presumed in context)

**Details that add flavor, but don’t provide crucial information.**

* He hasn’t slept in days, and hasn’t showered in weeks.
* It’s the nicest house on the street — at least from the curb.
* She collects enemies the way nerds collect comics.

Please don’t take this as an opportunity to load up your scripts with unfilmmable details. Screenwriting is largely an art of economy, so you need to always be looking for ways to say more with less, and to externalize internal motivations. The evaluators weren’t wrong. They were likely just over-applying a pretty good rule-of-thumb: a screenplay should include only those things the audience can see or hear.

Short answer sprint

December 4, 2007 Adaptation, QandA, So-Called Experts, Television, Words on the page

Questions have been backing up in the inbox for a few weeks, so I thought I’d do a Short Answer Sprint to work through a few.

If a friend or co-worker tells you an anecdote, or describes a character eccentricity of one of her relatives, and you use it in a screenplay are there any legal ramifications? I have no intention of using the name of the friend’s relative (I don’t know it), but the story and the relative are so funny and eccentric, respectively, that a very amusing character could be made from them. Do I need to get my friend’s permission to use this information?

— Derek

Legally, no. Ethically, yes. Particularly if said friend is a writer who might be planning to use it herself. I borrowed an anecdote from a screenwriter friend in Go: the moment when Simon accidentally sets the hotel room on fire. I changed pretty much everything about it, but I checked with him first to make sure he wasn’t planning on using it.

I’m writing a scene between a Chinese immigrant woman and a man from Mexico. Both characters speak in broken English, and I’m wondering how to correctly write broken English with a Chinese accent and speaking pattern, as well as how to do it for other languages. Do you just write the dialogue in “good English” and then somehow note that the character has a thick Chinese accent? How would you tackle this challenge and could you an some example or two?

— Jules Hoffman

No time for examples in a Short Answer Sprint. But when writing non-standard English, you walk a fine line between “giving the flavor” and “annoying the reader.” So here’s the simple advice:

1. Use the speaker’s words
2. Use the speaker’s grammatical structure
3. Don’t try to duplicate the exact speech pattern on paper

If you have more than two apostrophes in a line of dialogue, you’re probably overdoing it.

I’ve been building a bit of a gut. Too many years of balancing a day job with writing time and squeezing in food when I could led to some really bad eating habits. One of the perks, though, was that I became a “Shit Camel.” I could go for a week without taking a dump. Sure, it was a massive, hour-long endeavor that afforded plenty of reading time whenever I did take a crap, but it left the flow of work or writing largely undisturbed.

Now that I’m eating better and trying to work this fat off, I find that I’m visiting the john much more often and depositing much less when I leave. I hate that. This has been especially annoying in the past few days since I blocked them off for writing time only.

All this is to ask, what do you eat as a writer? Are you hunched in front of your Mac for hours on end like a crazy Korean gamer, with Red Bulls and candy wrappers scattered everywhere? Or do you have some kind of healthy eating regimen that keeps you energized? Just curious, because distractions of any kind really destroy my momentum.

— René Garcia

Writing is sedentary, and sedentary people tend to get fat. But most screenwriters — even the fat ones — defecate more than once a week. Yikes.

In terms of health, I eat pretty sensibly. If you’re trying to lose weight, South Beach is actually very easy and sane. Excercise-wise, I lift three times a week. (A lot of writers go to my gym, for reasons unclear.) I do less cardio than I should, but I’m walking 4+ miles per day picketing, so that kind of makes up for it.

I am a beginning screenwriter and I am very intimidated by plot design. I love reading good screenplays because the plots seem like clever puzzles where each piece fits snugly but unexpectedly into a grand scheme. When I try to construct plots on my own, however, I feel they seem contrived and unrealistic. It seems like a very intellectual process to me, even though the ultimate goal is an emotional one. Do you have any advice for someone struggling with this? I’ve read about three books on screenwriting, and they make plot structure seem so basic, but it doesn’t feel that way when you’re creating from scratch. Any helpful words from you will probably do a lot for me.

— Jim

Screenwriting books make everything seem so tidy, when actual screenwriting is gory and difficult. Plot and structure are really just the answer to a single question: what happens when?

Look at your story from your main characters’ perspectives. What are they trying to do at each moment in the script? What do they know, and what do they learn?

Then look at it from the audience’s perspective. What do they know, and what do they expect will happen next?

A good plot keeps surprising both the main characters and your audience. Probably the reason your plots feel contrived is that you’re trying to drag your characters through some pre-determined series of structural benchmarks, rather than focusing on what’s interesting and surprising right now in this scene.

I read in your comments, some time ago, that you had a mix tape you listened when you wrote for “Go” to help you get in the right mood. Did any of that music find its way into the movie? If so, how did that happen? ex. did you suggest it to the music director? If not, why not? Wasn’t it a key factor in setting tone for you?

— Dan

None of those songs made it in the movie — and that’s fine. A playlist is a great way to help capture a certain tone while you’re writing, particularly when you need to get back into a mood. But it’s really just for your own preparation. Screenwriting is a lot like acting in that way, incidentally. Actors often have touchstones to help them get back into a role. Music is a great one.

Are you inspired to help new writers because you had the good fortune of a mentor when you were starting your career, or do you do it because you had to figure it out on your own?

— Annabel

I didn’t have a mentor, at least not for any significant period of time. I started this site because I remembered what it was like having 1,000 questions about screenwriting, and no good place to ask them.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but do you think the stop of “Ops” was related to the imminence of the somewhat similar secret-adventures-’round-the-world “The Unit”?

— Matt Waggoner

The Unit is a lot like Ops — but done as a CBS show. I don’t mean that as a slam. They figured out how to take a potentially risky premise and turn it into something embraceable by a mass audience. What’s funny is that we met with Scott Foley for Ops (at Susina, the coffee shop featured in The Nines). He read the script and really liked it. We liked him, and would have cast him in a second. He’s an undervalued actor, and a nice guy.

But no, I don’t think The Unit derailed Ops. Our project hung around longer than it should have largely based on my name and the quality of the writing. It really wasn’t a Fox-appropriate show, and it’s for the best we never shot the pilot. (The two Ops scripts are in [Downloads section](http://johnaugust.com/downloads) if you want to read them.)

I’m in early discussions with a producer about writing a biopic. One thing that has come up in these discussions is the producer’s insistence that the movie adhere to a traditional three act structure and not be ‘episodic’ – and I agree with him in principle (I’m frequently dissatisfied by biopics for this very reason), but I also feel that the complicating factor in this case is that lives simply don’t unfold in three acts – they are, by their very nature, episodic. I was curious as to how you might approach this kind of assignment in terms of finding a three-act story within an episodic sequence of ‘true’ events.

— M

History is history. Movies are stories, and good stories have forward momentum. Your challenge is finding the thread(s) that keep the main character working towards a goal, with obstacles, setbacks, and moments of success. And that may not be possible. There are many remarkable people whose lives are surprisingly resistant to dramatic staging. There hasn’t been a great biopic of Lincoln, Da Vinci, or Einstein. [Amadeus](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086879/) succeeds because they elevated a fairly minor character in his life (Salieri) and told a largely fictionalized story through his eyes.

Don’t try to tell the story of a great person’s life. Tell a great story using the details of a person’s life.

This may be kind of a loaded question, but have you ever read Stephen King’s Dark Tower books? They’ve just been finished, thirty-some years after the first book was started, and are so old fashioned and evocative of Rod Serling — like some weird combination of The Lord of the Rings, Sergeo Leonne’s Spaghetti Westerns and The Twilight Zone — that a movie adaptation has to happen eventually. The fan base is much too huge. Could you ever see yourself considering adapting this?

— J.R. Flynn

This is an example of how long questions sit in the box sometimes. [JJ Abrams is now adapting it](http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1574452/20071115/story.jhtml).

But to answer your question: sure. I could see myself doing it. But JJ Abrams or not, I try not to dwell on the projects I’m not writing, because that can drive one mad with frustration. As busy as I am (when not on strike), barely a week goes by that I don’t see a project announced in Variety which causes that spike of envy. If that ever goes away, I’ll probably quit.

In the re-design of the site, I inadvertently got rid of the “Ask a Question” link. Until I find a good home for it, you can ask a question [here](http://johnaugust.com/ask-a-question).

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