John August

Formatting

How do I include animated sequences?

Formatting, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI’m writing something at the moment which, while it is mostly live action, has scenes of animation featuring the main cast which are also occasionally intercut with live action scenes. How would you format this?

— Nic
Essex, England

When you have entire scenes that are animated, you can handle it in the slugline.

EXT. MARTIN’S HOUSE – DAY [ANIMATED]

A big, cheerful Kellogg’s sun rises behind the house. Bluebirds flutter from the trees, TWEETING a delightful melody.

If animated characters cross into the real world à la Roger Rabbit, you’ll want to consistently label them as such.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Martin opens the front door to find Karen sweaty and half-dressed on the couch. Only when she sits back do we see she’s on top of Animated Martin, who is similarly disheveled.

A long beat.

MARTIN

So the ink on the sheets..?

KAREN

The kids weren’t coloring, no.

Your goal should always be clarity. You want the reader to follow what you’re doing without dragging down the storytelling.

On the radio

Formatting, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI’m working on a script that includes a few scenes where characters talk on police radios, or on megaphones.

So my question is this:

How do you write that? I suppose it’s just a matter of picking a format and sticking to it throughout the script, but I thought I would fire this question across your desk in case you’ve already standardized how it might look. Currently I’m toying with something that might go along the lines of:

INT. POLICE CRUISER – NIGHT

The radio crackles with three call tones. Perry grabs the receiver.

PERRY

Go for Perry.

DISPATCH (ON RADIO)

(filtered)

Your mother’s calling 9-1-1 again, Perr. Says you’re grounded.

PERRY

Tell her I’m working. I’ve got a job, and I’m working. I’m already on patrol, Walter...and I’m 30.

DISPATCH (ON RADIO)

(filtered)

She’s threatening the Playstation.

PERRY

Tell her I’ll be right there.

He tosses the handset, floors it, and cranks up the siren and lights.

The other format I’m trying to crack is when someone picks up a megaphone to address a crowd of people. So far I have something like:

EXT. PERRY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The squad car screeches up in front of the house. Perry’s mom opens the top floor window and extends the Playstation over the ledge.

Perry jumps out, holds up a megaphone.

PERRY

(filtered)

Don’t do it, mom. Go back inside, and keep the Playstation where I can see it.

PERRY’S MOM

You’re a rotten kid, Perry. Rotten to the core.

PERRY

(filtered)

I mean it. I’ll use force if I have to.

I’m not sure if you need the word “filtered” in parentheticals in both examples, and if I do, should I put it on each line, or just the first? With the radio lines, I’ve put “ON RADIO” next to the name, and on each line. Do I need to include it on more than one, or is the first sufficient?

— Scott Benton
Los Angeles

In both cases, I would drop the “(filtered)” tag on the second line of dialogue. We get it, and reminding us that it’s filtered is just getting in the way of the jokes.

While we’re on the topic, I’m a fan of how you used **DISPATCH (ON RADIO)** in the first example. I find myself doing that a lot in situations where the speaker is not physically present in the scene. In some cases, it indicates a character we’ll never really meet (perhaps your Dispatcher), or a character we do meet who happens to be on a speakerphone or similarly off-screen.

Putting the parenthetical as part of the character name helps reinforce that the person won’t be seen. That’s clarity for the reader and for 1st ADs when it comes time to write the shooting schedule.

Handling a character’s POV shot

Formatting, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI have a character — let’s call him Evan — leans out an open kitchen window. I want it to be a POV shot, so everything on the screen is outside the window. Do I have to put the action of what’s going on, outside, under a new scene heading (EXT. FRONT YARD – DAY), or do I stay INT. KITCHEN and just throw in an EVAN’s POV:?

— Ryan
Los Angeles, CA

You can do either. The reader will understand that we’re looking outside. The main advantage to creating the EXT. scene header is that it reminds production that they need to secure an appropriate location. If the kitchen is a set built on a soundstage, they’ll need to find a corresponding exterior.

Here’s how I would write that scene:

Evan is three spoonfuls into his muesli when he hears an EXPLOSION outside. Racing to the window...

EXT. KITCHEN WINDOW / FRONT YARD – DAY

...Evan leans out to see his Toyota Yaris flipped over on the front lawn, engulfed in flames.

I didn’t stress that the shot is from Evan’s point of view. It rarely matters, unless the audience needs to understand that one character in a scene can see something that another one can’t.

Five quick questions

Big Fish, Formatting, Projects, QandA, Words on the page

I have lots of questions, but by all means choose two you’d like to answer.

— Ric
New Zealand

questionmark1) What’s the commercial potential of movies without happy endings? I’m tired of every movie having to end in a good way, even if that’s a main character surviving a slasher flick. Does a movie automatically fail if it ends with the world blowing up? Forrest Gump wouldn’t quite be the same movie if Forrest suddenly went mad and killed everyone, but surely not every single movie has to end on a good note.

Movies can certainly end with everyone dead, ((Consider The Blair Witch Project, or Cloverfield. If either of these are spoilers, you’re officially behind on popular culture.)) and it’s not at all uncommon to kill off key protagonists (e.g. Romeo and Juliet, Titanic). Even a comedy can end on mixed notes — The Graduate being a good example. But your basic assumption is correct: the commercial potential of most movies is going to be stronger if it ends happily, simply because people will walk out of the theater happy. So you need to decide how important a happy ending is to your story, knowing the extra challenges you face with a downbeat ending.

I’d also challenge you to remember that a happy ending doesn’t necessarily mean everyone skipping off into the sunset. From The Godfather to Aliens, many great movies end on a note of uncertainty. The immediate threat may have passed, but the road ahead is dangerous.

questionmark2) What’s the best way to handle an “early life” part of a film, where you need to show the character growing up? How much is too much? How many “stages” are too many? Will it break the movie if my screenplay uses the whole first act to show incidents: at birth, 5 years old, 7 years old, 10 years old, 14 years old (and that’s condensing things, stage-wise) and then further flashbacks later on? And how do I show the character’s “want” or “why” through all of this? Or is it okay if the want or why doesn’t start until later in the film?

Every movie works differently, but trying to include that many stages will almost certainly fail. Here’s why.

In a book, aging a child from five to seven to ten to fourteen costs you nothing. You can skip from age to age, incident to incident, without trouble. Readers don’t have a strong expectation about “when the story is supposed to get started,” so as long as you are holding their interest, you’re okay.

In a movie, aging a child from five to seven to ten to fourteen means casting at least three actors. ((I’m assuming the same child actor is playing 5 and 7, or 7 and 10.)) Each time, you’re forcing the audience to identify with a new kid, with a new face, and new quirks. The replacement cost is very high, so it has to be really worthwhile to consider doing it.

More importantly, movie audiences have strong expectations about when the story is supposed to get started, and we know the story won’t really begin until we reach the grown-up version. Any scenes involving the young versions are going to feel like stalling.

Big Fish follows Edward Bloom’s life from the day he was born until the day he dies, but deliberately structures those moments to tell the bigger story of Edward and Will’s reconciliation. That’s the A-plot, and everything else is in service of that. In fantasy flashbacks, we see Edward very briefly as an infant, then jump ahead to him as ten-year old. After that, he’s either adult (Ewan MacGregor) or elderly (Albert Finney).

Get to the grown-up. We need to know much less of a character’s history than you think.

questionmark3) What is, in your opinion, the best way to write a synopsis?

A good synopsis doesn’t follow the plot beat-by-beat, but gathers together related story threads to explain What It’s About rather than exactly What Happens. Depending on its purpose, a synopsis can be two sentences or two pages, but I find almost any movie can be well described in a paragraph.

questionmark4) How would I show someone “studying really hard all year.” Would that be a montage?

Yes, but it sounds incredibly dull. Please avoid it.

questionmark5) Say the character starts singing a song and then all these different scenes start showing. How would I write that, considering each scene coincides with certain lyrics?

The character begins singing, then as you move through other scenes, you include the next part of the song as voice-over.

BOY’S CHORUS

Oh beautiful, for spacious skies / For amber waves of grain...

SONG CONTINUES as we...

CUT TO:

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY

Mrs. Wiggin’s ginormous bare butt bounces up and down. She’s evidently straddling Mr. Garcia.

BOY’S CHORUS (V.O., CONT’D)

For purple mountains majesty, / Above the fruited plain.

Mrs. Wiggins opens her mouth in wide-eyed ecstasy:

BOY’S CHORUS (V.O., CONT’D)

America! America! / God shed his grace on thee.

CUT TO:

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Sweaty and slaked, Mrs. Wiggins lights a cigarette. Mr. Garcia is trying to work a kink out of his back.

BOY’S CHORUS (V.O., CONT’D)

And crown thy good / With brotherhood

BACK TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM – NIGHT

BOY’S CHORUS

From sea to shining sea!

The parents APPLAUD.