Superheroic scene challenge
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After a short delay, the next Scene Challenge is ready to go.
This time, the goal is to write an action scene/sequence suitable for a summer blockbuster — or to subvert this intention so ingeniously that we can’t help but be impressed.
The only required element is the villain: BRICKHOUSE. He’s big and he’s strong. It’s up to you to decide whether that means he can throw cars or entire skyscrapers.
As the scene opens, Brickhouse has just grabbed an ancient staff from The City Museum of Ubiquities. You can decide whether the staff is merely valuable or has some other attribute. It’s also your choice whether the action takes place in the museum, outside, or some other locale.
Your hero can be superpowered, gadget-enhanced or merely quick-witted. Your choice.
Standard rules:
Post your entry in the comments thread of this article. If you’re uncertain about how scrippets work, try it out first on the test blog.
Proofread. There’s no editing once you’ve submitted.
All entries must be submitted by 8 a.m. PST on Thursday, July 23rd, 2008. Remember that comments are sometimes held in moderation. Don’t submit twice. It will show up. Promise.
I’ll pick a winner later that day.
Winner receives hearty congratulations and a brief moment in the spotlight.
And…begin.
Articles
July 20th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I don’t have time this week to really plan for this, so I did this as a warm-up exercise. I don’t know if this is an action scene, per se, but it’s what showed up when I started writing:
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
The Hall of Classical Artifacts is a delicate place, full of precariously posed treasures: clay urns, terra cotta statuary, pottery sherds, a towering statue of a Greek hero wrestling a lion, and a ten-foot-long GOLDEN STAFF capped with a blockish ram’s head. All of these artifacts are sheathed in fragile-looking glass display classes. Everything is squared off and arranged to impress.
The room TREMBLES. Antiquities rattle. A vase tips and shatters.
The outer wall EXPLODES in cement dust and debris as BRICKHOUSE’S HAND smashes through and grabs the GOLDEN STAFF. A full quarter of the room’s antiquities and cases shatter as he maneuvers and yanks the staff back through the hole in the wall.
A pause. Dust settles.
Then, from outside...
DOUG (O.S.)
Put it down you--!
DOUG’s body arcs into the museum, widening the hole in the wall, smashing through another quarter of the glass cases and urns. He lands in a pile of sherds and shattered glass.
DOUG
...brick shithouse.
Brickhouse stomps through the hole, hoisting the staff over his head like a spear.
Doug slides down away from the wall, onto his back on the floor, revealing the spot where his head has caved a bronze Corinthian helmet.
Brickhouse stands over him, staff raised. Doug puts his feet, legs bent, on Brickhouse’s shins.
BRICKHOUSE
With this, not even I can stop me!
Brickhouse lunges. Doug pushes off Brickhouse’s shins, sliding his body back toward the wall. The staff cracks the marble floor between Doug’s knees.
Doug grabs the staff and climbs it like a rope.
DOUG
Did you even read the thing, man?
BRICKHOUSE
Grrrraaaah!
Brickhouse shakes the staff with one hand. Doug doesn’t fall.
DOUG
“Whomever holds the staff is invulnerable,” it said!
Brickhouse shakes the staff with both hands. Doug’s legs FLAIL.
BRICKHOUSE
“Beyond my power,” it said!
DOUG
Whatever!
Brickhouse waves the staff around the room, smashing it and Doug through the third quarter of glass cases and ancient urns. Doug SCREAMS.
BRICKHOUSE
Let go!
DOUG
You’re crazy if you--
Brickhouse twists, readying the staff, and Doug, for a major blow. Brickhouse EYES the lion statue. Doug EYES the lion statue. Doug sighs. Brickhouse smiles and smashes Doug and the staff through the whole solid-marble statue, crushing it and caking Doug with dust.
But Doug is still unharmed.
DOUG
Brickhouse, Brickhouse, slow down! Listen to me!
BRICKHOUSE
Raaaaar!
DOUG
No! Listen. I’ve got the staff, which means I’m impervious to you--
BRICKHOUSE
I have the staff!
DOUG
Okay, but, you know, I’m right here, buddy, so join the club.
Brickhouse holds the staff out in front of him. Doug puts his feet on Brickhouse’s thighs and balances. They’re about eye-to-eye now.
BRICKHOUSE
You will let go.
DOUG
Your strength can’t make me. It’s how the thing works.
BRICKHOUSE
You will--
DOUG
I heard you. But you can’t make me, and pretty soon every superhero in the state is going to be here to get a hand on this staff and then pound you to Sunday.
Brickhouse takes this in.
DOUG
If you put me down, let me have it, you’re no worse off than you were this morning. Go back to eating armored cars, or whatever.
Brickhouse sighs.
DOUG
Yeah. Otherwise, man, this is what the rest of our lives look like, is you and me living together, sleeping with this staff. Just weird.
Brickhouse eyeballs the remaining quarter of the room, still standing.
DOUG
No.
BRICKHOUSE
I--
DOUG
No. We’re done. I can’t let go, or I’ll die. All you’re out is, what? Invulnerability to yourself. What were you worried about?
BRICKHOUSE
Okay.
DOUG
That’s right.
Brickhouse sets Doug down, hand still on the staff.
DOUG
Ready? It’s okay. Ready?
Brickhouse lets go.
DOUG
Attaboy. You all right?
Brickhouse nods.
Doug SLAMS THE STAFF into Brickhouse’s face. Blood arcs in the air. Brickhouse REELS.
Doug hits him again, knocking the brute’s huge body into the final quarter of the room. Doug hits him again and again with big golf-style swings, driving him through urns, pottery, clay tablets, and glass cases.
Brickhouse’s pebbly skin is studded with shards of glass. He STUMBLES BACK, making a new hole in the outer wall of the museum, and falls into the parking lot. His unconscious body flattens a sedan.
Doug stands in the hole in the wall, staff across his shoulder.
DOUG
(to himself)
Seriously, did you even read the thing?
July 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Nerd alert.
July 20th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
2 quick questions - is there a length limit (other than “reasonable”)? - can we establish with an EXT shot b4 the main scene or are we limited to a single slug?
July 20th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
BrickHouse and The Staff of Enlightenment.
(John, I only write stories, I need someone like you to turn them into screenplays. But I thought I still might get a tenth of a point for creativity. Feel free to delete this if you wish.)
Running like his very life depended on reaching the exit, Brickhouse beat feet up the dingy out stairway. Getting into the the Museum of Ubiquities had been a breeze. Stealing the Sacred Staff of Enlightenment was a different story all together. The security measures used to guard this relic of a bygone era were extraordinary.
Locked deep in the bowels of the ancient building, BrickHouse had had to use a whole sack full of electronic decoders, laser reflectors, lock busters and knock out gasses to get his hands on mankind’s last hope for salvation. And now that he had it, he couldn’t get into the waiting wizard’s car fast enough.
Running breakneck into the driving rain, BrickHouse made a beeline for MoJo’s waiting car. Before he was halfway in, the Wiz put the pedal to the metal, nearly doing a donut in the slick nearly deserted street. But once around the corner, Mojo eased up on the throttle and drove like an old lady, as they made their way to that night’s special destination. While MoJ drove, BrickHouse checked the climbing gear and tools in his second backpack. When they reached the Empire State Building, he would be ready for the second half of their Mystical Mission.
Getting through security at the ESB was surprisingly easy. Of course, the fine set of forged paperwork that Mojo had conjured up helped a lot. The CorpPolice at the door had no reason not to believe that the staff with a huge glowing crystal, and the gear in the rucksack, were not going to the CorpPrez’s office for his personal enjoyment. Ah, the irony of it all, if the guards had just known that their normal inattention to detail was about to set them free.
When the ultra-daring duo reached the antenna maintenance room atop the building, MoJ went to work disabling the security cameras, while BrickHouse donned his climbing gear. Once the cameras were down, the Brickster started his perilous accent. With the staff securely tied to his backpack, he inched his way up the slippery metal spire. As the rain fell in torrents, and searing lightning filled the sky, BrickHouse could only pray that he didn’t get toasted before his time.
But never in his life had he smiled so much. Never in his life had he been happier, or more sure of what he was doing. In but a matter of minutes, the whole world was going to be freed from their evil egos and the unchecked oppression of Global Corporate Tyranny. Once again mankind would be a True Brotherhood, and not just a second rate game of Monopoly! Wiping the driving rain from his eyes, BrickHouse realized his whole life had happened so he could help set a new generation of men free. The feeling was beyond transcendental.
Reaching the top of the spire, BrickHouse secured his safety belt and took a long deep breath of relief. Then he immediately went to work removing the existing lightning rod, and installing the Sacred Staff of Enlightenment in it’s place. This took about 10 extra-scary minutes, that seemed like forever!
His quest accomplished, he hastily retreated to meet Mojo at the service elevator. Now all the world needed was one well placed bolt of lightning, and the illusions of fame and fortune would be banished forever to the netherworld, where they belonged.
July 20th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
A WEASELLY CURATOR speaks to a crowd of assorted children and parents. A shiny silver STAFF with various markings on it rests inside of a large glass case behind him.
WEASELLY CURATOR
The Staff of Merneptah is our newest addition to our humble museum. It was found in the tomb of the Pharoh Merneptah who ruled in the nineteenth dynasty of Egypt. Merneptah is believed to have assumed the throne at the fairly old age of 60 and ruled for about ten years. According to the hieroglyphs on the staff, it is said that the wielder of the staff would not just be immortal but imbued with youthful energy and power. Pretty much it means that this staff might just be the fountain of youth. Pretty neat, huh? Of course Merneptah, had suffered from extremely painful arthritis for most of his rule until his death. So, I think that goes to show you how well that fountain of youth idea worked out.
Some polite chuckles.
BOOM! The startled crowd looks behind them. A huge, hulking monstrosity of a man saunters up. He’s holding a security guard in each hand. He throws them aside. The ground shakes with every step. This is BRICKHOUSE. He would look kind of funny if he weren’t so damned intimidating with a huge handlebar mustache, long fingernails and hideous teeth filed down to sharp points.
BRICKHOUSE
Enough exposition! Make way!
The crowd of patrons eagerly get out of the way as he makes his way to the terrified curator. He towers over him by an easy three feet. His heaving breaths powerfully blow back the little man’s wispy head of red hair.
Brickhouse extends his giant index finger and holds it up to the glass box. With a simple flick of his finger, it shatters. He pulls the staff out and pats the curator on the head and shoves him away with his pinkie. He turns around to leave to find himself confronted by...
An OLD MAN. About seventy. Wearing old man pants. And a sweater vest.
OLD MAN
Just what do you think you’re doing? I’m an annual pass holder. I don’t pay ninety nine bucks a year to see an empty shattered box!
WEASELLY CURATOR
Shut up old man! Do what he says! You wanna get killed!?
OLD MAN
You shut up pipsqueak! I’m part of the greatest generation! I don’t have to take this crap! I’ve dealt with punks far worse than this guy! Now hand over the thingamajig.
WEASELLY CURATOR
It’s a staff!
OLD MAN
Shut up, kid! Hey. Oafie McGee. I’ll make it simple. Hand over the stick and I can forget all about this. If you don’t, then you’re gonna get a faceful of fist.
A booming laugh explodes out of Brickhouse’s mouth as he pulls back his giant fist.
The old man cracks his knuckles.
The curator covers his eyes...
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- A MOMENT LATER
BAM! Brickhouse comes flying out of the second floor of the museum. He hits the ground hard and goes sliding down the parking lot totaling cars along the way. He slowly comes to a stop in the middle of the street. He’s out.
INT. MUSEUM
Stunned museum patrons peer out of the gaping hole in the wall. Slowly they look back towards the old man who rubs his knuckles.
OLD MAN
Ooh.
He pulls a bottle of Aspirin out of his old man pants pocket and pops a tablet.
OLD MAN
The name’s Zenith. And I’m still retired.
Zenith bends down and ties his loafers, zips up his sweater vest and takes off running down the hallway towards the giant hole in the wall. He leaps out and falls out of view.
Swoosh!
The patrons watch from the museum as Zenith, the old man flys majestically into the distance.
A little boy with a balloon looks up to his mother.
LITTLE BOY
He smells weird.
July 20th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
If I may make one suggestion, you may want to put a length limit on this challenge, or it could get out of hand. This sounds like the most open-ended challenge yet, and the action sequences might drag on for a long time. If 100 people submit a single page of action that’s like reading an entire screenplay in three days :)
July 20th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Our hero, AZURE stands patiently waiting on the large marble front steps. Dressed in bright blue body kevlar and donning a pair of goggles on his head.
Around him stand three boys ages 9-13: a FAT BOY, a SHORT BOY and a NERDY BOY. They are all wearing matching blue t-shirts, and a cheap knock-off goggles.
AZURE
All right. Brickhouse is going to be coming through that door at any moment.
Right on cue, CRASH!
BRICKHOUSE comes tumbling through a solid brick wall, about 15 yards from the door. He stands tall, at about eight feet and built like his namesake implies.
He’s carrying a golden jeweled STAFF in his right hand. It looks like a pencil proportionately.
AZURE (CONT’D)
Remember what we talked about?
FAT BOY
Open the fight with witty banter.
AZURE
That’s right. Ok, I’ll take him on, you guys do like we practiced.
Brickhouse lets out a deep bellied laugh, and begins to run toward the group. He runs like a toddler, throwing his weight in to it with no fear, ready to topple at any moment.
BRICKHOUSE
Azure? God you’ve let yourself go. You a camp counselor?
Azure takes off running towards the man, at an impossible speed.
SHORT BOY
(overconfident)
That’s what she said.
Azure takes a flying leap, landing on the oaf’s back. He grips Brickhouse by the hair and begins PUNCHING him in the face.
AZURE
(between punches)
That’s not really so much banter... more importantly it didn’t make sense.
BRICKHOUSE
Get off of me!
Brickhouse tries to swat him away like a fly, all the while still barrelling towards the group of boys. Azure covers Brickhouse’s eyes.
FAT BOY
You’re momma’s so fat--
The short boy stops mid sentence as Brickhouse TRIPS, launching himself and Azure along with him, in to the air.
What follows is nothing short of beautiful: 600 pounds of muscle hits the ground, hard, tearing through the marble of the steps like tissue.
Azure rides the man like a surfboard.
They end up too close for comfort for the costumed boys, who all take a few steps back.
AZURE
We went over this!
Brickhouse struggles as he’s pinned down.
SHORT BOY
The bigger they are--
AZURE
(scolding)
Don’t even finish that...
BRICKHOUSE
(holds up staff)
Do you know what this is?
I’ve got the Staff of Ptelomy! Do you know how long I’ve waited to get my hands on this staff?
SHORT BOY
That’s what she said!
AZURE
Better! Still not what I’m after.
BRICKHOUSE
How do you put up with this?
FAT BOY
You better put up or shut up!
AZURE
Again, not making sense.
The Nerdy boy begins to speak up, but cuts himself short and takes a step back.
Azure catches this and makes direct eye contact, punching Brickhouse instinctually.
AZURE (CONT’D)
Come on... you can do it. Can’t be much worse than what we’ve had so far.
NERDY
When we’re done with you, they’ll call you Pile-of-bricks.
AZURE
Finally.
WHACK! Azure lands a final heavy punch.
Brickhouse is beyond limp.
Azure grabs Brickhouse and THROWS him in to a nearby lightpole.
The metal pole bends around his weight and collapses.
Azure approaches, takes the bar and wraps it around Brickhouse’s body, forming an impromptu straight jacket.
Red and blue lights flash as tires screech to a halt nearby.
Out of the eyesight from the children, Azure drops his heroic facade and lights up a cigarette.
BRICKHOUSE
What a bunch of wash-ups. How’d you get stuck training wannabes?
AZURE
Court ordered. I might have destroyed an orphanage fighting Gigantathorn.
BRICKHOUSE
I hate orphans.
July 20th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
What fun! I hope it’s alright that I did an origin.
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Storm clouds linger over the imposing stone face of the Museum of Ubiquities.
The low sound of rumbling thunder is overtaken by a BLARING ALARM coming from inside.
It grows louder as two darkly dressed criminals, BRENT and KEVIN, bolt out the front glass doors.
Brent, a hulking man with a beard and long hair tucked into a beanie, is clutching a bundle to his chest.
Kevin is small and fit, clean shaven with a strong jaw.
KEVIN
I thought you took care of the alarm?!
BRENT
Apparently not --
Rain falls as they run across the street.
BRENT
(looking up)
-- Quick, the trees.
Brent leads Kevin into a heavily wooded area across from the museum where they are partially shaded from the downpour.
Brent kneels down, catching his breath as he examines the bundle. Kevin looks impatient.
KEVIN
Can I ask why we’re setting up camp when our get away car is only two blocks away?
BRENT
I want a look at this thing.
At this, Kevin looks worried.
KEVIN
I don’t know about that, Brent. He was pretty specific --
BRENT
We just stole one of the most valuable antiques in history and you don’t want a peek?
KEVIN
It’s called “The Staff of Swine.” We should prolly send it to the CDC.
BRENT
Don’t be stupid. It’s nothing like that.
KEVIN
I’d rather not find out. While we’re huddled in the bloody hundred-acre-wood, we could be counting our stacks of dough.
BRENT
I’m tired of mundane hit and runs. I want a peek at something really exciting.
KEVIN
Only a giant turd like you could get bored robbing museums.
Brent has finished removing the wrappings, and is in awe.
BRENT
It’s gorgeous.
KEVIN
Yeah, yeah, the stuff dreams are made of. Can we go?
BRENT
This ain’t no lead bird, Kev. Look.
Out of the bundle, Brent pulls THE STAFF OF SWINE: an ancient bone staff with intricate inlays of silver. The cloud-breaking sunlight hits it with an otherworldly glow.
As the criminals admire their haul, the staff SNAPS INTO THREE PIECES, falling out of Brent’s hands.
KEVIN
Holy shit! You broke the million dollar flu staff!
BRENT
I didn’t do --
He stops as the three staff pieces SCURRY ACROSS THE DIRT, BURROWING THEMSELVES INTO THE EARTH.
KEVIN
What the --
A bright FLASH.
From the three burrows sprout three doorways: One of straw, one of sticks, and one of brick.
KEVIN
(terrified)
You know what. Forget the job. Lets get out of here.
BRENT
Are you kidding me? This is fantastic!
He begins to walk towards the doors. Kevin tries to pull him back but can’t fit his hands around Brent’s arm.
KEVIN
Um, where are you going? Off the deep end, I know, but how can you have the first idea what to expect in a situation like this?
BRENT
I don’t.
(turning to him)
Look, Kevin, I’ve grown complacent doing things you shouldn’t grow complacent doing. I hate that.
Brent turns back to the doors. Kevin can’t believe this.
KEVIN
Alright! Fine. Which door, then?
Brent stops.
BRENT
What?
Kevin gestures to them.
KEVIN
Three of ‘em.
Brent thinks.
BRENT
Which would I choose?
KEVIN
That third one’s imposing. Hope this doesn’t come as a surprise, but you’ve been called that yourself.
Brent nods. He steps towards the brick door.
BRENT
Bye, pal. Hope you get your dough.
Kevin looks indignant as Brent steps through the door.
Another BRIGHT FLASH.
CUT TO:
INT. THE BRICK HOUSE – DAY
Finding himself against a bare wall, Brent looks around the small cottage. It’s in complete disarray. He smiles at its quaintness.
He hears faint chattering outside.
From out the front window, he can see a path that leads to a FAIRY TALE VILLAGE SQUARE. Simple people and upright clothed animals talk and go about their business.
Brent’s eyes open with wonder, creasing his huge brow.
Excitedly, he goes to the front door.
An echoing CREEK as he pushes it open.
Two small RABBITS hear the sound, and turn to see him. They are absolutely terrified. One raises his quivering hand and screams the words that send the town into a flurry of panic:
RABBIT
B-b-br-BRICK HOUSE!
Now who’s going to pay me to write the rest? ;-)
July 20th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
THOOM!
The wall of the Musuem explodes in a cloud of dust and granite and shattered glass.
Alarms BLARE.
Victorious, BRICKHOUSE emerges from inside, arms raised in triumph, a gruff CACKLE of glee.
He has been transformed – the STAFF OF POWER clutched in his hand.
His granite skin is jagged, rougher. Muscles bulge with might... he’s grown larger, a giant, 25 feet tall. Voice rumbles like tires on gravel.
BRICKHOUSE
I am unstoppable!
SIRENS.
Then police cruisers, SWAT, the whole fucking shebang.
A barricade is formed.
MASON jumps out of the back of the SWAT van, slams a clip into his Colt AR-15 assault rifle, tightens his bulletproof vest.
He looks out towards Brickhouse, a slight sadness in his voice.
MASON
What the hell did he do to himself...
BRICKHOUSE
You’re too late, Mason!
Brickhouse advances.
SGT. SIMPSON grabs his bullhorn.
SGT. SIMPSON
Brickhouse, freeze! If you take one more step we are opening fire.
Brickhouse advances.
SGT. SIMPSON
We’re warning you!
He doesn’t stop...
And all hell breaks loose.
Police side arms POP hot lead.
SWAT opens up with stronger stuff – the air EXPLODES with the CRACKLE of assult rifles and BURST of shotguns.
The museum entrance is armageddon.
Brickhouse is riddled with bullets... they PING away, unable to pierce his stoney armor.
But the force makes him stagger...
He raises his hand to cover his eyes, the staff held aloft, GLOWING.
At the barricade, Mason lowers his rifle and turns to the Sgt. Simpson.
Over the deafening gunfire he shouts --
MASON
This isn’t working!
SGT. SIMPSON
You got a better idea?
Brickhouse takes a deep breath and lets out a great ROAR!
... and Mason’s eyes light up.
MASON
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do.
Mason runs to a SWAT truck.
SGT. SIMPSON
Mason! Get back here!
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
Sgt. Simpson is knocked off his feet.
The ground shakes as, with a monsterous GROAN, Brickhouse lurches forward, running towards towards the barricade, shoulder lowered, staff still high.
He slams into the barricade! Cops and cars erupt in all directions!
Knee drops a cruiser, crushing it.
Swats a SWAT truck, sending it flying. It tumbles back, crushing another car.
BRICKHOUSE
Mason!
He searches around. Tosses a couple more cars.
BRICKHOUSE
(with contempt)
Where are you, friend?
A shrill whistle.
Brickhouse looks up...
And is POPPED in the face with a tear gas cannister.
It EXPLODES; a cloud of burning mist envelops him.
He SCREAMS in agony. Coughing. Sputtering.
In the distance, a SWAT van, its rear doors open.
MASON
Oh god this might work...
Then, to the monstrosity.
MASON
Over here Brickhead!
With a furious YAULP, Brickhouse charges at the van, ground shaking with each foot fall.
Mason leaps into the driver’s seat and GUNS IT.
Speeds towards the Museum’s entrance – a bridge over the Mississippi River.
Pulls a gas mask over his face and leans his M-32 riot gun out the window... pointing ahead... at the bridge...
POOM! POOM! POOM! POOM!
Empties his gun. Reloads. Empties it again. Reloads.
A cloud of gas forms... Mason races into it.
Bursts through the other side and donuts around.
Facing the cloud... and Brickhouse.
Suddenly, a large shadow seen rumbling through the mist, and the GLOWING head of the STAFF OF POWER.
Mason PEELS OUT.
Right for Brickhouse.
IMPACT.
Metal scrapes stone. The chassis CRUNCHES. The windows SHATTER.
Brickhouse is tossed onto the hood of the car with a THUD.
Grabs onto the roof, crushing it, pushing it down on Mason.
Glares through the windshield.
BRICKHOUSE
Are you proud of me?
MASON
No. I’m disappointed.
He revs the van, picking up speed...
Until...
The van SLAMS through the bridge’s railing.
Freefall.
And SPLASH into the icy waters of the Mississippi.
EXT. UNDER THE MISSISSIPPI – NIGHT
Mason swims out the back of the van.
A granite hand appears out of the darkness, grabs his boot, dragging him down.
Mason struggles, latches on to the side of the van.
A glimmer of hope... his M-32 riot gun is on the passenger chair.
He reaches...
Strains...
And with heroic effort, snatches the gun.
He turns, stares into the eyes of his former friend.
Nothing but rage.
Mason shoves the gun in Brickhouse’s mouth.
And fires.
Brickhouse is blown off, thrashes about in pain, his grip on Mason shattered...
He sinks...
Grasps for Mason... but he’s too far.
Struggles to swim... but he’s too heavy.
He lets go of the staff... but doesn’t change back.
BUBBLES erupt from his screams... and he drops down to the river bottom.
Mason takes one last look.
And swims to the surface...
July 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
EXT. CITY MUSEUM – NIGHT
A virtual barricade of police cars and SWAT vans block the street in front of the museum. The flashing red and blue lights sweep across the OFFICERS’ faces as they aim their weapons at the museum’s entrance.
MUSEUM ENTRANCE -- POLICE POV
Inside, a bright white FLASH, like lightning, lights up all the windows. A moment later, the glass in the doors and windows shatters.
MUSEUM ENTRANCE -- SIDE VIEW
The Museum’s massive front doors are torn off their hinges as the hero GOLD STAR is thrown through them by the blast.
FRONT OF MUSEUM
Flailing, Gold Star tumbles down the steps of the museum. He takes chunks out of the granite wherever he falls.
EXT. STREET
Directly across the street from the Museum, COMMISSIONER GRIFFITH and her most trusted OFFICERS have set up a field command station in front of the Xaos Foundation headquarters. Tense, they watch the hero crash down the steps and into the -
FOUNTAIN
Gold Star slams into the base of the bronze statue of the Greek Titan Prometheus in the center of the Museum’s fountain. The sound, like a gigantic GONG, reverberates down the street.
He lies there for a moment. The shirt of his action suit was torn away in the battle and the golden star tattoo on his bare chest pulses weakly. He reaches up and grabs hold of the statue’s flame wreathed hand stretched down to deliver fire to Man, a creature hated and abandoned by the gods.
COMMISSIONER GRIFFITH
She watches the disgraced hero pull himself to his feet.
GOLD STAR
The spray from the fountain washes over him like rain. He still wears his mask and gloves. One leg of his suit is torn away, but his boots survived BRICKHOUSE’s onslaught. His mask is torn but it still hides his face.
COMMISSIONER GRIFFITH
A SNIPER at her side takes aim.
TELESCOPIC SIGHT
In green night vision, Gold Star stands in the rifle’s cross hairs
SNIPER
I have the shot.
CLOSE ON GRIFFITH
The Commissioner hesitates. She knows she should give the order. Gold Star isn’t a hero anymore, right? He’s a killer... isn’t he?
Captain Welles steps to her side.
WELLES
Commissioner?
EXT. FOUNTAIN
The hero turns and looks as if he’s only now noticing he’s not alone out here. He sees Griffith across the street.
GOLD STAR
Lacey?
He throws his hands in the air, warning them.
GOLD STAR
Get out of here! Everyone! You have to run! It’s too dangerous...
A sound like a mountain growling rolls down the steps behind him.
THE POLICE
The Officers raise their weapons and look up at-
THE MUSEUM ENTRANCE
BRICKHOUSE has to bend over to step through the fifteen-foot high, twelve-foot wide doorway.
COMMAND POST
Griffith and her Men stare wide-eyed. Welles mouth opens, astonished.
WELLES
My god.
MUSEUM ENTRANCE
Standing straight, Brickhouse is over twenty feet tall. Even though it’s designed to stretch with him, gaping holes have opened in his action suit. It’s never had to expand this much. At this size, with his Neanderthal features, he looks something like a hairless King Kong.
He holds Set’s serpentine staff in his left hand. Like snakes made from fire, red angry tongues of energy coil around his hand where he holds the ancient alien artifact. It reflects the rage he feels for his arch-nemesis.
GOLD STAR
Squares his body to the giant. He lowers his head – eyes closed tight in concentration. The star on his chest pulses, glows bright and fires a STARBURST at his enemy.
BRICKHOUSE
Leaps into the air. His feet leave a crater in the plaza’s granite.
IN THE AIR
Brickhouse easily swats the starburst aside with the aptly named “Invincible” Staff of Set, the Serpent God.
GOLD STAR
Sees Brickhouse descending toward him. He braces to receive the blow.
GRIFFITH
Involuntarily puts her hand over her mouth, dreading the next moment.
BRICKHOUSE
Falling, drives the sole of his massive foot into Gold Star’s chest. The hero gives way and finds himself crushed back into the base of the statue behind him.
BRONZE PROMETHEUS
Sways and then falls. A geyser of water shoots up from the base of the statue.
POLICE BARRICADE
The water showers down on the police gathered at the front. No one moves or makes a sound.
COMMISSIONER GRIFFITH
Has the presence of mind to act. She grabs the megaphone from Captain Welles’ belt.
GRIFFITH
Fire At Will!
EXT. STREET
Broken from their trance, the army of Officers fire their weapons. Hundreds of rounds fill the air.
BRICKHOUSE
Laughs as the bullets spark and fly off his skin. They can’t hurt him now.
GOLD STAR’S
Arms reach out from beneath the villain’s foot. The hero jams his gloved fingers into the giant’s skin and lets loose with a burst of energy. Sparks like golden lightning bolts crawl up Brickhouse’s leg and into his groin.
His laughter becomes a roar of pain. He jerks away as if bitten by a snake.
FOUNTAIN
Gold Star stands, his fist ready to strike, but Brickhouse is faster. He backhands the hero, sending him, the ruined statue and a few dozen gallons of water flying over the police gathered in the street.
EXT. STREET
The bronze statue rolls over police cars forcing the people in its path to dive for cover.
COMMAND POST
Gold Star crashes through the Xaos Building’s glass wall ten yards above the Commissioner. Welles pushes his boss out of the way.
WELLES
Lacey!
Fragments of glass and metal fall around them.
CUT TO:
INT. XAOS FOUNDATION LOBBY
Flying out of control once more, Gold Star crashes through the railing of the second floor mezzanine and onto the hard marble floor in front of the reception desk.
CLOSE ON GOLD STAR
His mask irreparable and now interfering with his vision, Gold Star pulls it off. Now, anyone who sees him will instantly recognize him as Rick Xaos, forensic anthropologist and heir to the foundation’s billions.
The building is empty. The hero looks around -- sees the yellow “DO NOT CROSS” tape marking the spot where Jason Tolliver, his lifelong friend, was murdered.
Where the police found Gold Star with Jason’s lifeless body in his arms.
Where they made the obvious assumption after he fled.
Rick shakes his head. No time for grief or regret -- he’s in for the fight of his life.
The hero forces himself to stand.
CUT TO:
EXT. COMMAND POST
Welles and the Captain get up. They look out toward the street – there’s the sound of a freight train approaching.
STREET -- GRIFFITH’S POV
Brickhouse runs toward them. He swats police vehicles and armed and armored SWAT Team members aside.
GRIFFITH
Pushes Welles away and yells at her men.
GRIFFITH
Get out of here! Now!
She pulls her .454 Automag Pistol. Aims.
BRICKHOUSE
Roaring, he charges head on like a rhinoceros.
GRIFFITH -- STRAIGHT ON
Defiant, fires round after round of elephant killing bullets at the juggernaut. The Men around her run for cover.
BRICKHOUSE
Leaps at the last second. He slams into the side of the building like a blast from a battleship. The wall caves in as if made of cardboard and newsprint rather than steel and plate glass.
Griffith falls to the ground and covers her head as debris crashes around her.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY -- MOMENTS LATER
Brickhouse stands in the lobby. Gold Star is nowhere to be seen.
BRICKHOUSE -- REVERSE VIEW
The gigantic killer stands framed by the gaping hole he’s made. His eyes look around the dark lobby. The fire from the staff glows in them.
CLOSE ON GOLD STAR
Rick looks down from behind one of the planets dangling from the lobby’s high ceiling. The red fire from the staff below shines on his face.
BRICKHOUSE -- CLOSE ON FEET
The villain walks further into the building. Every step leaves cracks in the floor tiles.
BRICKHOUSE -- HEAD AND SHOULDERS
He bumps his against the low hanging golden sun, the centerpiece of the suspended solar model.
As he looks up, a golden light illuminates the villain’s face as if the model is changing into a real star.
GOLD STAR
Flies down from the ceiling at full blast.
INT. LOBBY
The hero slams into the side of Brickhouse’s head. Stunned, the giant groans, staggers back, but he doesn’t fall.
GOLD STAR
Lands a few yards away. He digs up marble tile and much of the cement underneath as he brings himself to a stop.
CLOSE ON RICK’S FACE
His eyes focus on the
FIRE RED STAFF
Blazing in his opponent’s hand.
GOLD STAR
Leaps into the air. He flies toward the staff.
He clutches it, and pulls with all his might. He tries to fly up into the heights of the ceiling.
He fails.
INT. LOBBY
Like some evil counterpart to the Statue of Liberty, Brickhouse stands, feet planted, as Rick blazes futilely at the end of the staff. He can’t pull it from the giant’s hand. His golden light starts to fade from the exertion.
Grinning, Brickhouse brings the staff down and slams Rick into the floor.
CUT TO:
EXT. XAOS BUILDING ENTRANCE
Griffith gets up. A few drops of blood leak from a cut somewhere above the hairline. She looks out at the street.
THE POLICE
Officers help their injured. Paramedics throw a sheet over some anonymous casualty. He didn’t make it.
CLOSE ON GRIFFITH
Her eyes close at the pain of losing someone under her command. God damn these freaks and the grief they cause.
She hears a rumbling laugh behind her. Brickhouse!
CLOSE ON AUTOMAG
The Commissioner retrieves her massive gun.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY -- COMMISSIONER’S POV
As she steps through the hole in the front of the building, Griffith sees Brickhouse standing in the center of the lobby. He holds the Staff in one hand and Gold Star in the other.
From this angle, she can’t see the hero’s face.
CLOSE ON BRICKHOUSE
Brickhouse speaks to his vanquished foe.
BRICKHOUSE
I could kill you. Easy. You deserve no less. You have betrayed us. Turned your back on your family. Thrown your lot in with the humans. The creeping plague that desecrates this world with its very existence!
As Brickhouse taunts Gold Star, Griffith carefully steps over the debris.
THE COMMISSIONER
Has her gun held high as she moves sideways to get a better shot at the giant’s head.
BRICKHOUSE
I could tear the head from your shoulders.
There is the sound, like tendons popping.
BRICKHOUSE’S BACK -- COMMISSIONER’S POV
As Griffith steps around, the hero comes into view.
CLOSE ON RICK XAOS
With the giant’s hand around his neck, Rick struggles to breath. He’s on the verge of unconsciousness.
GRIFFITH
Astonished to see the face of her fiancée, the Commissioner freezes up. She’s too shocked to move.
GRIFFITH
Rick!
BRICKHOUSE
Turns and looks at the human woman.
GRIFFITH
Lowers her gun. It’s useless.
BRICKHOUSE
Releases Rick, and lets the hero drop nearly dead to the floor.
BRICKHOUSE
It is not my right.
He holds up the staff. It generates a growing red glow.
BRICKHOUSE
Your fate is for our FATHER to decide.
INT. LOBBY
Brickhouse crouches as the staff’s energy gathers around him. Then he leaps.
CEILING
The red giant crashes through the ceiling. The dangling metal and glass planets sway violently.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET
There is a sound like thunder. Welles looks up.
THE XAOS BUILDING
Shivers like a mortally wounded beast. Its tortured steel releases a loud groan.
EXT. SPIRE -- FROM ABOVE
Brickhouse crashes through the roof and severs the massive cables suspending the buildings floors from the central pillars.
WELLES
Looks into the sky and sees Brickhouse shooting through the sky, a red meteor streaking across the sky.
Then he sees the Xaos building start to sway. Without the cables to secure it, the architecture’s structural integrity has been compromised.
WELLES
Get the hell out of here!
CUT TO:
INT. XAOS LOBBY
Blown back by Brickhouse’s exit, Griffith gets to her feet. She sways as the collapsing structure shifts around her and sends shockwaves through the floor.
She struggles to get to Rick’s side.
CLOSE ON PLANETARY SPHERE
A bolt pulls loose.
EXT. LOBBY -- FROM ABOVE
The sphere falls toward Griffith below.
CUT TO:
EXT. XAOS BUILDING -- FROM SKY VIEW
The top floors of the building start to collapse. The plate glass windows shatter.
WELLES
Standing in the street, he looks up.
THE NIGHT SKY
Is filled with strange new glittering stars, lethal shards of falling glass.
WELLES
Doesn’t try to get out of the way.
WELLES
Lacey.
THE FALLING GLASS -- FROM WELLE’S POV
The crystal clear blades reach the street – falling with the sound of a thousand guillotines.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY
The sphere crashes to the floor only a few feet from the Commissioner. Hollow, it breaks apart like a giant Christmas ornament.
Lacey screams and falls.
CLOSE ON GRIFFITH’S LEG
A fragment of the sphere has penetrated her thigh, deep.
THE CEILING
Cracks as the weight of the building presses down. More spheres detach and fall.
GRIFFITH
Screams
GRIFFITH
Rick!
CLOSE ON GOLD STAR
He opens his eyes.
GRIFFITH -- RICK’S POV
He sees the Commissioner. She curls into a fetal position as more spheres crash around her.
CLOSE ON STAR
The star brand in Rick’s chest shines bright, jump-started at the sight of the woman he loves in danger.
LOBBY -- FROM BELOW
As the ceiling above them is pulverized by the falling building, Rick rolls atop Lacey -- face to face.
CLOSE ON LACEY AND RICK
Illuminated by the light from his divine heart, Lacey looks into the worried, wounded eyes of the man she loves as the world falls to pieces around them.
FADE TO BLACK
July 20th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Mine has a golem which is a robot in disguise, and a silenced Uzi, so I’m not sure if it’s fair to make me compete in the same category as everyone else. Anyway.
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – night
An empty hallway, lined on either side with priceless artifacts in glass cases- statues, urns, sarcophagi, whatever goes for priceless these days. It’s lit only by three moonlit squares cast under skylights.
Somewhere in the museum, a resounding crash- something big and heavy just shattered.
A beat.
Another crash, more epic than the first.
A beat.
And then a GOLEM crashes into the hallway, sending concrete chunks spewing through the air. He’s roughly man shaped, a good twelve feet tall, and has three holes drilled into his lumpy skull for ‘eyes’. His slab-like torso is covered with sprouting moss and dust from the walls he tore through. This is BRICKHOUSE.
The golem pauses and stands there stupidly, big arms dangling like an ape. His head rotates, no easy task without any discernible neck, and scans the hallway.
HIS POV
Three circles, and the rest of the screen is black. The world as Brickhouse sees it. Objects pass through the circles, until-
A staff on a crumbling stone pedestal. The staff is thin, made of an almost black wood, and has a ball of polished wood fixed on top. A stylized eye is etched into this ball.
The circles stop moving and light up red. A crosshair superimposes over the staff. The word “Objective” flashes across all three eyes.
Brickhouse lumbers forward, the floor vibrating with each crashing step.
The glass case might provide some difficulty- Brickhouse stoops down to inspect it. How to break it without damaging its contents?
He taps the glass with one square, pudgy finger.
The glass falls from the window frame as if hit with a mallet.
He reaches in one giant hand and pinches the staff between two fingers.
He straightens, emits a watery grunt that could be satisfaction, and turns ponderously, to face-
VOICE (O.S.)
You’ve made quite a mess.
The voice is soft, male, and casual.
The golem cocks a fist back with a creak, but before he can obliterate the intruder, silenced machine gun fire rattles off his stone body. Little divots of stone are taken out of his chest, his face, anywhere the bullets touch, but they don’t do any real damage. Brickhouse isn’t in any pain, but he steps back in bewilderment. He slams against the wall and cracks the plaster, leaving a large snow-angel like imprint.
The volley ends.
For the first time we see the intruder- he wears a short gray trenchcoat that only goes down to his hips, and he holds a silenced Uzi loosely. Shell casings are scattered around his snakeskin boots. He’s a young guy with white blonde hair and stubble.
YOUNG MAN
It was worth a try.
The young man steps forward, firing the last few bullets from his Uzi. Still walking, he opens his trench coat, and holsters his gun. From the other side of his wonderous trench coat, he draws a sawn off shotgun and pumps it once.
Brickhouse takes a giant step forward, draws back his fist-
The young man calmly blasts him in the chest and jacks out the shell.
The already chipped stone plate over the golem’s chest disintegrates, exposing rusted metal beneath.
Brickhouse punches, a bone shattering blow. Straight down the line.
The young man, unfazed, leans to the side, just enough that the punch passes by harmlessly.
He shoots Brickhouse again, this time blowing the stone shell away from his head at point blank. Underneath, a horribly grinning metal skull- we finally see its true eyes, tiny telescope lenses, that catch light so they shine white.
Brickhouse staggers backward, disoriented.
The young man takes the opportunity to shoot Brickhouse twice more in the head, emptying the shotgun. At this point, the robot’s head is dented beyond repair, telescope eyes shattered.
Brickhouse reels away down the hallway, waving its arms blindly. Smashing priceless art at every opportunity. Eventually the robot runs out of juice and falls to the floor with the force of a small earthquake.
The young man slings the sawn off over his shoulder and saunters over to the collapsed, shuddering robot.
He squats down by its body and appraises it.
YOUNG MAN
Oh dear. Your boss is going to be disappointed.
He flips the shotgun around so he holds it like a club.
He brings the butt of the shotgun down and cracks open Brickhouse’s head.
Sparks fly and steam billows from the opening. Inside: tangled wires, a maze of circuitry.
Almost as an afterthought, the young man grabs the staff, still pinched delicately between Brickhouse’s fingers.
YOUNG MAN (V.O.)
And that was the last and only time I killed a robot disguised as a golem to retrieve a priceless artifact. There’s a moral here. And saying that out loud makes me sound like a total badass.
July 20th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
A big hole in the side of the postmodern Museum building has drawn a crowd of onlookers.
It looks like something, or someone, walked into the building without bothering with doors or museum timings. A trail of cracks leading to the hole line the pavement all the way around the first corner of the building.
It is still early but clearly human curiosity does not consult an alarm clock. Good sense would dictate that people stay as far away from the hole in the wall as possible – nothing good can come out of an opening like that. Still several soon-to-be-late-for-work men and women are craning their necks to get a look at what is happening inside a building most of them would normally ignore.
In the distance, fast-approaching POLICE SIRENS and FIRE ENGINES.
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
A heavy sound, like two Mjolnirs POUNDING on the marble floor, heralds the arrival of BRICKHOUSE. This is a guy out of The Thing’s worst nightmare – he has retained his human form (if being supremely ripped and seven feet tall can be considered human) yet he looks capable of damage Reed Richards’ friend couldn’t even imagine.
Brickhouse quickly scans the room he is in, while the floor continues to splinter and crack beneath his feet. Decision made, he turns left, and wanders through a doorway under the sign INDIAN ARTIFACTS.
Swords, fabric swatches, primitive utensils and finely detailed artworks are organised along the walls of the room.
Because he takes a moment to orient himself the floor beneath his feet spits and cracks with an enthusiasm normally attributed to Pop Rocks.
One of the cracks hares towards a far wall, like an overenthusiastic ink-stain trying to win some unstated race.
Brickhouse’s eyes narrow and he walks towards a display case in which a beautiful sword is displayed half-unsheathed from its jewel-encrusted scabbard on a pillow upholstered in expensive silk.
Brickhouse doesn’t even glance at the sword as he reaches for an ordinary-looking bamboo staff suspended in a glass case mounted on the wall.
The toughened glass doesn’t even slow the progress of his hand. It does however trigger the ALARM.
Brickhouse examines the staff, emits a satisfied GRUNT, and leaves the room.EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
Brickhouses’s head appears through the hole in the side of the building and he seems surprised to see the cordon of police cars arced around the street corner.
There must be close to a dozen guns trained on him. He doesn’t seem particularly upset by the idea.
The police car cordon is under the command of OFFICER HARGREAVES – a beer-softened man who at that exact moment has his head back as he administers drops to ease the burning in his eyes. The heavy THUMP of Brickhouse’s approaching footsteps alerts him and he slips his mirrored aviators back up his nose.
Hargreaves takes one look at Brickhouse and backs up a couple of steps before employing his MEGAPHONE.
OFFICER HARGREAVES
You are surrounded. Put your hands in the air and we can work together to resolve this in a calm and orderly manner...okay?
Nobody notices that the pavement has resumed cracking under Brickhouse’s feet.
He scans the area, takes in the cops shielded behind their car doors. He knows one of those cops is bound to have a nervous trigger finger. Beyond the police cordon, a couple of fire engines idle and just beyond the barricades are the curious onlookers – wide-eyed but unwilling to truly back up.
Brickhouse shakes his head and raises his arms. Then he jumps up in the air, not more than six or seven feet; and when he lands he causes a tremor that wobbles every one in sight.
Hargreaves puts his arms to his side, as if restraining pretty girls at a rock concert and looks around.
HARGREAVES
Everybody okay?
The nearest cops nod, their eyes and guns never leaving Brickhouse.
HARGREAVES
(into the megaphone)
You stop that right now!
Brickhouse smiles.
Hargreaves’s spine stiffens.
A rookie cop SWALLOWS.
Brickhouse moves the staff behind his back with his right hand, jumps up – much higher, raises his left fist, lands with a crash and POUNDS his fist into the ground.
The impact turns the street into a Persian rug being shaken out to clean.
The cop cars bounce like toys on a trampoline; every person standing is knocked off his or her feet and the windows in every building within a hundred meters SHATTER in waves.
Broken glass rains down from as much as four stories high.
When Hargreaves and his men get back to their feet, Brickhouse is nowhere to be seen.
And then, the City Museum of Ubiquities collapses in on itself.
July 20th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
Scattered antique lovers peruse random displays. No flash photography, but plenty of digital. A security guard yawns.
It’s all business as usual, until a massive, bellowing BARK echoes through the halls. Curious, heads turn.
A spotted GREAT DANE leaps over the Casket of Tuk-Ra, his leash trailing, a long, antique BONE in his jaws.
JOEY
Brickhouse! Bad Dog!
Following BRICKHOUSE the dog is its owner, JOEY McCALE (8, tiny, bespectacled). Joey can’t possibly keep up with the mayhem his pet is causing.
People scatter. Guards stammer. Security cameras swivel.
Brickhouse skids to a stop, knocking over a vase, two pygmy skeletons and an ancient weave. He sets the bone down, daring his owner to take it.
JOEY
Brickhouse... that’s the Staff of Secrets. It’s not a toy.
Brickhouse barks his disagreement.
JOEY
Bad dog! Heel!
Taunted, Brickhouse picks up the Staff and darts through the room, knocking over even more priceless one-of-a-kinds.
INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Joey catches a glimpse of Brickhouse turn the corner. He runs as fast as he can--
INT. STAIRWAY – CONTINUOUS
--too fast to stop. He holds onto the railing and SLIDES all the way down.
BRICKHOUSE--
sits waiting at the bottom, tail wagging.
JOEY--
SCREAMS all the way down. Off the railing and onto the floor with a THUMP.
JOEY
I’m gonna kill you, Brick.
The dog retorts with a slobbery kiss. And he’s off again.
JOEY
No!
Too late-- Brickhouse is out the door, knocking pedestrians out of his way.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Joey bursts out the door to see his dog cross the street with absolute disregard for traffic.
A SEDAN--
swerves to avoid the dog. Barrels into a semi.
THE SEMI--
screeches, jackknifes, and flips over.
JOEY--
cringes. Even as he crosses the street cars are still slamming into each other.
A motorcycle flies above him. The owner manages to grip a lamp post as his bike crashes into the asphalt in a mangled mess.
Joey picks up snippets of dazed chatter as he reaches the other curb:
DRIVER
Did you see that zebra?
TRUCKER
Zebras are striped, you idiot.
SOCCER MOM
I still say it was a dragon.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK PLAYGROUND – MOMENTS LATER
Joey cuts through the thick brush like a jungle explorer, covered in grime, bruises and his museum sticker torn in half. He looks every bit the mess he feels.
He emerges from the thicket to see:
Every mother, father and child present is atop the monkey bars, terrified for their lives.
JOEY
Brickhouse! Stop!
Brickhouse digs a GIANT HOLE in the middle of the playground, sending giant clumps of earth and sand and rubber mulch flying every which way.
Joey approaches his dog tentatively. Brickhouse barks his terrible bark. It makes the children cry. And a father, too.
JOEY
Good boy... just... stop...
Brickhouse wags his tail and casually drops the Staff into the hole.
JOEY
Last chance, buddy, or I’m gonna ground you big time.
Brickhouse barks again, for good measure, and promptly sets to cover his prized bone. Joey leaps for the Staff, but is easily swatted away like a fly.
Undeterred, the boy leaps onto his dog’s back. He looks like a gnat.
Brickhouse shakes Joey off and returns to covering the Staff.
Joey is exhausted. He looks around for help, but no one dares step near this titanic canine.
An idea pops into his tiny head.
He steps in front of the dog and straightens his glasses.
JOEY
Brickhouse!
Brickhouse looks up.
JOEY
Git!
And he bolts. Won over, Brickhouse bounds after the boy.
Joey looks over his shoulder. The dog gains on him in a matter of seconds. There’s no escape...
Brickhouse springs into the air, about to land on Joey--
At the very last second, Joey grabs hold of the merry-go-round and SPINS around.
Brickhouse misses his mark and rolls onto the ground several feet beyond the playground. He looks up to find his master.
JOEY--
flies off the ride and back towards the hole-- and the Staff of Secrets.
BRICKHOUSE--
charges full speed.
JOEY--
reaches the hole, digs as fast as he can and grips the Staff. Looks up to see the giant dog heading right for him.
He stands, Staff of Secrets in hand, and faces the barreling dog.
Brickhouse jumps--
But Joey ducks, and grabs hold of the leash. The split second it takes Brickhouse to turn around, Joey manages to secure a knot on the monkey bars.
JOEY
You are so grounded tonight, mister.
He starts to walk back in the direction of the Museum, leaving Brickhouse tied right below the terrified parents and children.
July 20th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
INT. GREENHOUSE -- EVENING
Three successive BOLTS of lightening CRACK across the sky and SHATTER the glass roof. SHARDS rain down upon ANNIE “MADDOG” CARTER as she peels herself from a concrete crater.
She cracks her back and surveys her surroundings.
MADDOG ANNIE
I hate plants--
A FIST ERUPTS through the floor like an angry volcano and BRICKHOUSE bulldozes his way in from below.
Annie LEAPS fifteen feet and unleashes a fury of SONIC BLASTS from her palms. The blue energy harmlessly deflects off Brickhouse’s chapped SKULL.
Brickhouse jams the ANCIENT STAFF OF GUILLERMO between his two front teeth and with a GRUNT flings out a SEVERED LEG wrapped in green tights.
BRICKHOUSE
Your curator boyfriend was too grisly. I prefer...
He searches for the words as Annie turns to the sound of a ROARING MOTOR --
BRICKHOUSE
...a more tender meat.
KRAKOOOM! A SPEED BOAT rips through the plastic wall and SLAMS into BRICKHOUSE. The 250 horsepower outboard motor CHOPS at his kneecaps, sending a shower of SPARKS onto the nearest row of rare plants. The fire quickly spreads...
MCNAULTY POWERS leans out from the cockpit --
MCNAULTY
Get in!
Annie VAULTS over the side. Her eyes go WIDE.
MADDOG ANNIE
Where are your clothes?
McNaulty gooses the throttle -- a JET ENGINE unfolds from the stern and EXPLODES to life. And with a SONIC BOOM the boat ROCKETS out of the greenhouse.
Brickhouse rolls over and coughs as everything around him BURNS.
And he LAUGHS.
July 20th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Is there a length restriction on these things? I wrote one, but then it turns out instead of action there was banter and then a little action. I should try again!
July 21st, 2009 at 12:13 am
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES -DAY
A horde of police vehicles and Cops surround the museum. The TASK FORCE LEADER, safely behind one of the cop cars, speaks into a radio.LEADER
(into radio)
Make sure everyone is in position.
A RUMBLING shakes the ground, causing all of the cops to look towards the museum with concern.LEADER (CONT’D)
He’s coming out!
Moments later, SMASHING through the front doors of the museum is BRICKHOUSE, all 16 feet of him, in full costumed glory. In his right hand he holds the bejeweled Staff of Osiris.BRICKHOUSE
All of you cower before the awesome power of Brickhouse!
One of the COPS runs over to where the Task Force Leader is positioned.COP
What are we going to do, Chief? We got big trouble here!
The Task Force Leader looks up and smiles.LEADER
Not anymore.
The cop looks up as well to see POWERFORCE, Freedom City’s superhero protector, flying in from above.POWERFORCE
Your days of villainy are over, my friend!
Powerforce unleashes a BOLT of energy which SMASHES into Brickhouse, sending him flying sideways into one of the cop cars, which CRUMPLES as officers go scurrying for protection elsewhere.POWERFORCE (CONT’D)
Sorry guys!
Brickhouse, staggered, picks himself up and looks around. He’s lost the staff!BRICKHOUSE
My staff!POWERFORCE
Looking for this?
Brickhouse looks back near the front of the museum to see Powerforce proudly holding the staff.BRICKHOUSE
Oh. Powerforce.POWERFORCE
Your plan is foiled. Now if you’d like to come along quietly?BRICKHOUSE
Um, yeah, well, actually maybe I’ll just be going...
Powerforce looks quizzically at Brickhouse.POWERFORCE
Wait a minute...
Brickhouse starts to back away, sending some more police scurrying as he does.BRICKHOUSE
Yeah, really, I got a big day tomorrow and...POWERFORCE
Hold on. Michael? Is that you?
Brickhouse sighs and pulls off his mask.BRICKHOUSE
Sorry, dad.POWERFORCE
Michael, you power down and come over here this instant!
Brickhouse reluctantly SHRINKS down to the size of a normal teenage boy and sheepishly walks over to Powerhouse.POWERFORCE (CONT’D)
This is what I’m paying Bennington ,000 a year for? Why aren’t you in school?
Brickhouse anxiously rubs the back of his head.BRICKHOUSE
Here’s the thing, dad. I’ve sort of fallen behind in my Anthropology 101 class, and I thought if I brought in the Staff of Osiris I’d score some points with the professor.POWERFORCE
And it didn’t occur to you that he and everyone else would know that it was stolen?
Powerforce raps Brickhouse on the head.POWERFORCE (CONT’D)
Use your head, boy!BRICKHOUSE
Sorry.POWERFORCE
Sorry, sorry. All right, get over here. I’m taking you home.BRICKHOUSE
Aw, dad, I don’t want you to carry me. It’s embarrassing.POWERFORCE
Oh, and have you learned to fly at college?BRICKHOUSE
No.POWERFORCE
Then get over here.
Brickhouse reluctantly puts an arm around Powerforce, who takes to the sky, carrying both of them away.
The Task Force Leader looks up with puzzlement.LEADER
What just happened here?
July 21st, 2009 at 12:14 am
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
RONDO, lord of the corner of 16th and State, is leaning against the wall, holding out his Mighty Ducks mug and is SINGING OFFKEY along with his imaginary walkman. PASSERBY ignore him or give him dirty looks.
RONDO
Can’t spend what you ain’t got, can’t lose what you never had...
He’s so absorbed (or delusional) he misses the CRASHING DOWN of most of the outer wall of the museum to the left of him.
A taxi is SMASHED flat by a piece of DEBRIS, and a great rumbling of LAUGHTER echos from the hole in the museum. It belongs to BRICKHOUSE, a thirteen foot goliath composed of a mixture of brick and stone and metal scraps. He carries a gleaming GOLD STAFF.
BRICKHOUSE
What a boring museum, almost all that crap could be found anywhere!
Brickhouse grabs a BUSINESSMAN by the arm, probably breaking every bone.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Why’d they even build this place?
Before the man can answer, Brickhouse throws him behind him like a scrap piece of paper. He begins walking down the street, then sees Rondo.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Sorry, brother, don’t have any pockets-
A SWOOSH from above, makes Brickhouse turn. He sees it’s PEARL, 28, a golden locked woman wearing a snug white and gold leather suit. She lands on a light post, crossing her legs and standing on only the bulb.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
She might though, dude. Pearl, got any change?
PEARL
Brickhouse!
BRICKHOUSE
What?
PEARL
Hand it over.
BRICKHOUSE
What?
PEARL
Give the staff back!
Brickhouse looks again at Rondo, still shaking his cup.
BRICKHOUSE
It’s like my man here says, you can’t lose what you never had...
Pearl is not one to banter. She leaps up from the lamp post, does a midair backflip and shoots directly at Brickhouse.
Brickhouse steps aside an instant before she hits him.
Pearl flies headfirst into the museum wall, destroying any wall that was still intact.
Rondo flees as the museum roof begins to collapse.
Brickhouse begins running, enormous strides make him faster than he looks. Every stride leaving a huge gaping hole in the street.
Pearl emerges from the museum, swoops an IGNORANT BIKE MESSENGER out of the way of falling debris. Then flies towards Brickhouse.
COP CARS, SIRENS and flashing lights, swerve around the corner below her. They weave in and out of traffic and around the enormous holes.
Pearl’s faster. She reaches Brickhouse, grabbing his shoulder and attempting to slow his momentum. He LAUGHS HEARTILY, grabbing her with his free hand and flinging her away like an annoyance.
Brickhouse stops at the next intersection. The two lead cop cars SMASH into his legs. The rest SCREECH to a halt. He’s looking right and left, like a lost tourist.
BRICKHOUSE
Let’s see, I came in on Huntley, does that run parallel with Lincoln? Are the numbered streets north and south, or east and west?
Pearl appears directly above him, and lifts him up into the air.
PEARL
Let me give you a quick lesson on grids...
Brickhouse tries to wriggle free from her grasp, but is unsuccessful. She pulls him higher and higher into the air.
PEARL (CONT’D)
The numbers go north south, the names east and west, except for Portman, which cuts across the entire city northwest.
They are high above the city, Pearl holds Brickhouse steady for half a second, the releases him. He ROARS IN ANGER as he begins falling.
Pearl flies down next to him and grabs the staff from his opened hand.
PEARL (CONT’D)
I’ll just take this...
She stops in midair and watches from above as he falls, hitting the street below and crashing another ten or fifteen feet into the ground.
She examines the staff, then shrugs.
PEARL (CONT’D)
You just got busted, and the people, the people ain’t that sad.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:42 am
There should have been a cap limit, its already getting out of hand LOL… I’ll submit mine tomorrow, and I’ll try to keep it exciting but brief
July 21st, 2009 at 2:13 am
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
BRICK lifts the staff, painstakingly slowly, from the display. ALARMS screech. A dog howls off-screen.
Brick’s mouth drops.
EMILY charges in, wearing a flashlight headlamp, trailed immediately by EDDIE, her loyal Jack Russell/Schnauzer mix.
EMILY
What did you do?
Brick is frozen, staff in hand, a look of horror on his face.
BRICK
I didn’t mean to.
EMILY
Dad warned you not to steal anything else. At least a dozen times. Put it back!
Bricks face hardens.
BRICK
No.
EMILY
Now!
BRICK
I’m keeping it.
Emily charges across the room and barrels into him. They both tumble backward into the Fountain of Youth. Emily’s head pops out, and she steals one gaspy breath before she’s pulled back under.
A hand, holding the staff, stretches out of the water. The accompanying arm wraps itself around the ledge, and Brick emerges, victorious.
He drags himself from the water and plops into an exhausted heap on the floor. Emily is right behind him.
Brick tucks the staff under his arm and musters the energy to climb The Holy Grail display case.
Emily grabs hold of his foot just before he reaches the top, and tugs him low enough to get an arm around his head.
Brick waves the staff above his head, frantically trying to keep it out of his sister’s reach.
EDDIE’S POV
The staff swings wildly. The glass display case shatters. Brick and Emily crash to the floor. ALARMS screech. The humans watch in horror as the staff flies through the air in slow-mo.
BRICK
Duuuuuccccckkkk!
They throw their arms over their head and wait for the blast.
Suddenly, it’s all too much for Eddie to bear.
He plows across the room, and with one super-canine leap, he’s ten feet off the ground, catching the staff between his jaws.
He crashes through a window and disappears into the night.
Brick and Emily are left in a dripping heap on the floor.
Two police officers burst into the room, waving guns.
POLICE OFFICER
Freeze!
Emily’s headlamp flickers, then sputters out, and the screen goes
BLACK.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:16 am
Bleh. Sorry Andy. I read yours just after I sent mine! And I’d been pondering it all day… Great minds think alike?
July 21st, 2009 at 3:30 am
INT.PYRAMID OF GIZA.NIGHT
There is nothing to be seen, or heard; there is only the blackness and the stillness. And then--SNAP. A match strikes gilded walls and briefly illuminates a passage of the great pyramid.
James Castor’s face is only shown for a second, drenched in shadow. He is young, but tired. His eyes are sunk in like he hasn’t slept, like he’s been on a long journey. And as he lights his cigarette, as the match illuminates his five o’clock shadow, we see that he is content.
This is the end.
CASTOR
You can’t hide forever.
Echo--And footsteps.
CASTOR
Earth is a big place. A pyramid? That’s nothing.
No response but his own voice and his own footsteps. And then, as a footstep lands, the pyramid ERUPTS IN LIGHT.
James Castor shields his eyes, and before him we see a throne, entirely golden. FLAMES decorate the golden steps leading up to Castor’s prey--or vice versa.
BRICKHOUSE
Welcome to the King’s Chamber, Mr. Castor.
Charles Brickhouse’s features are not immediately recognizable. They are covered by make-up and hieroglyphics adorn his body. Brickhouse is not old, or young--he simply is.
And for a moment, Castor wonders whether he’s wrong. Whether this really is a Pharaoh. And then his eyes fall on the golden staff in Brickhouse’s hand.
CASTOR
You know what I’m here for.
BRICKHOUSE
You’re here to kill me.
CASTOR
Bingo.
BANG--Castor has already shot his Colt .45. But as we follow the trajectory, we notice that Brickhouse is unharmed.
BRICKHOUSE
It is not my time to die. I have not earned my place in the afterlife.
CASTOR
I don’t understand...
Castor is impotent. He puts his gun away.
BRICKHOUSE
You know of the staff’s properties. It has chosen me, and now I must rule this world. And as my first service to this new earth, I shall exterminate the pests.
CASTOR
Am I one of those pests?
BRICKHOUSE
...Bingo--
And as he slams his staff to the floor, we freeze frame on Castor, cigarette still in his mouth.
CASTOR (V.O.)
Something that I have learned in life is to keep your cards close to your chest.
Close on Castor’s gun, holstered securely, no chance of it getting free in time.
CASTOR (V.O)
And though Brickhouse would have you believe in destiny, or fate, or the afterlife; when the cards fall, you’re either prepared or you’re not.
Close on Castor’s fists clenched.
CASTOR (V.O.)
There is a very fine line between life and death.
And finally, Castor’s cigarette, the cherry bright from inhalation.
CASTOR (V.O.)
Brickhouse has just crossed that fine line.
BACK INTO MOTION--the pyramid shakes roughly, as Brickhouse lets out a maniacal laugh, and then--BLACKNESS.
BRICKHOUSE
What--what is happening?
We hear more RUMBLING as white stars chisel into the blackness overhead. The universe looms above the two starlit enemies.
And though the moment is beautiful and perplexing, Castor knows there’s no time to waste. He rushes forward.
He SWINGS his right fist towards Brickhouse, and is BLOCKED by the staff! Overhead, a piece of blackness shatters, revealing the gold underneath.
Castor drives his LEFT FIST into Brickhouse’s stomach, and connects. Light flashes onto them like lightning, and then disappears.
Brickhouse sweeps Castor’s feet with the staff. Castor FALLS down the small staircase, as gold flashes above. Brickhouse lords over him, staff raised.
BRICKHOUSE
Who are you!?
Castor looks up at the stars. He removes his cigarette from his mouth. Exhales.
CASTOR
My name is James Castor. We’ve met.
Brickhouses drives the staff downward and MISSES as Castor rolls out of the way. He is quickly on his feet, as he shoulder checks Brickhouse to the floor. The staff is fumbled, and Castor slams his foot on top of it. Brickhouse seems to shrink back, terrified.
The night above is endless.
BRICKHOUSE
Please--please don’t kill me.
Castor’s eyes glow as he stares down at Brickhouse. He reaches downward, takes the staff. Raises it UP IN THE AIR--
BRICKHOUSE
NO! NO, PLEASE!
And as Castor seems ready to drive it down on Brickhouse, the staff pulses with light.
It pulses like a heartbeat, and then, all at once--THE DARKNESS IS GONE.
And so is the staff.
Brickhouse looks up at him, pathetically.
BRICKHOUSE
Oh thank you, oh thank you for having mercy.
CASTOR
Mercy? Oh, no. There’s a place for people like you.
Castor draws his pistol and shoots Brickhouse once between the eyes. He doesn’t flinch. He holsters his pistol.
CASTOR
Hell.
He pulls a cigarette out. Places it in his mouth. Snaps a match to life with his thumb and lights it. He takes a brief look around the majestic pyramid, and then makes his exit. And as he walks towards the exit, we see the night sky, speckled with stars. His figure gets darker as he leaves.
It’s almost as if we don’t see him exit. He might have just disappeared.
End.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:06 am
One from the holy land – yes we are insane ;)
EXT. City – Day
Front of an on the street big museum with big red exhibitions drapes on each side of the glassed front door.
BH launches out of the museum front door. The city air cools him for the meantime.
HERO (V.O.)
(low)
You drowned my favorite ball player, cannibalized ‘Ms. New York City’ but...
(angry sigh)
raping Mr. Snuffles that was too fuckingly much.
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: BH EYES
Turns from unfocused stare to a Cosmo Kramer idiots look.
CUT TO:
An old Cadillac car smashes into BH -- Carrying his body across the entrance platform to the side walk, to the road.
CUT TO:
WINDSHIELD LOOK
Focus on BH while the unfocused moving scenery is stricken by a sudden attack from car debris. he his too big for the car.
HERO (V.O.)
Pontiac -no!
Cars swirls to the right – BH latches to the windshield, still a little bit horrified but mostly confused.
HERO (V.O. CONT’D)
Dodge -no!
BH looks into the windshield -- now horrified
HERO (V.O. CONT’D)
Mrs. City Sundays – that’s for you
SLOW MOTION – BH starts turning his head to look behind him, while behind him the back of a white ice cream truck comes into focus and grows bigger and bigger, until its almost too big for a real world i.c. truck.
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: BH EYES
Squinting.
CUT TO:
BALANCED LOOK FROM THE ROOF OF THE CAR
The hands of BH loose their grip from the car while it crashes, and his body in an almost unwanted prized Olympic twist fly’s and bursts into the back doors of the white truck.
CUT TO:
OVER HEAD LOOK
The two cars, both in frame, crash into the opposite sides of the road turning and landing on their sides.
Smoke rises from them.
Two legs smash out the Cadillac’s windshield and the hero throws himself out.
HERO
(full of justified joy)
Ahhhh!!!!
Runs to the truck.
CUT TO:
LOOK FROM INSIDE THE TRUCK OUT TO THE OPENING AND THE STREET
BH his twisted – his legs support his upright ass who is the only thing upright in his body.
The hero shows in the opening.
HERO
That was for the other two, now – for Snuffles
CUT TO:
BLACK SCREEN
(off screen sound)
A belt unbuckles.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:29 am
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
JACK creeps stealthily through the darkened halls of the closed museum, but the wreckage makes this difficult even for him. His black shoes crunch broken pottery as he slides past shattered glass cases and paintings knocked askew.
Jack passes through a doorway labelled “Roman Antiquities”. Dimly, he can make out Centurions decked out in armor. Roman senators in flowing togas. An impossibly tall man carrying a giant warhammer.
Shit.
The statue of the senator explodes from the warhammer’s blow as Jack drops to the floor, barely dodging the arc of the massive weapon. BRICKHOUSE recovers from his swing and brings the hammer down with both muscled arms. Jack rolls, the marble floor implodes.
Jack melts into the shadows behind a Roman chariot as Brickhouse squints around at the darkness.
JACK
Give it up Brickhouse! I’m not letting you get the staff!
Turning towards the voice, Brickhouse grabs the ornate wooden STAFF tucked into his belt and laughs.
BRICKHOUSE
I already have the staff!
Brickhouse strides towards the chariot, raising his hammer.
The hammer swings down, but the chariot lurches forward -- pushed by Jack it takes Brickhouse in the knees. He tumbles into it, warhammer spinning over Jack’s head and crashing to the floor behind him.
The chariot picks up speed as Jack pushes it hard towards the BALCONY RAILING. Brickhouse clambers to his knees and aims a gargantuan fist at Jack’s head.
Brickhouse and the chariot slam through the railing. Jack plucks the staff from Brickhouse’s belt and skids on the floor trying not to go over the edge himself.
As the chariot sails off the balcony, Brickhouse lunges forward and just barely grabs hold of the other end of the staff, yanking Jack out into space.
Tumbling through the air, Jack and Brickhouse tug at either end of the staff.
The chariot plows into a dinosaur skeleton on the floor below -- with a splintering crash the two struggling men land in a bone-crunching heap on top of it.
Jack thrashes about, freeing himself from a tangle of wood and bones.
A boom echoes through the atrium, and Jack turns to see the entrance doors ripped from their hinges and Brickhouse fading into the darkness outside.
Jack holds up the staff, but realizes he’s been left holding nothing more than a fossilized dinosaur bone -- Brickhouse has gotten away with the staff.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:35 am
Bah – pretty sure I typed that in right, but the formatting is off for the two lines of dialog. Sorry about that.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:16 am
Here’s my entry. I dub it, “Melee A Trois.” Enjoy.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
Panic and fire rages in the street.
Overturned cars. Downed power lines. People scatter like fish, screaming as the massive museum doors BURST open, reduced to splinters.
BRICKHOUSE, ten feet tall, 850 pounds of muscle and not an ounce of it heart, causes cracks to spiderweb in the museum’s marble steps with each thunderous step. His meaty hand clutches the ornate golden STAFF OF AGES.
The police on the cordon draw in, leveling weapons. The bullish COMMISSIONER brings up a bullhorn. A SQUAWK of feedback.
COMMISSIONER
Brickhouse! Freeze! Drop the Staff and surrender at once!
Brickhouse eyes the boys in blue with derisive contempt, brandishing the staff tauntingly.
BRICKHOUSE
Come get it.
He takes a defiant step onto the pavement.
COMMISSIONER
Down! Take him down!
The line ERPUTS in gunfire! Angry volleys of bullets slam into Brickhouse’s hulking frame. Might as well be cherry blossoms. His shoulders shake with cruel laughter.
BRICKHOUSE
You’ll have to do better than THAT!
On “that,” he STOMPS hard. A rush of air bowls the cops over, SHATTERS the car windows. The pavement undulates like an asphalt tide emanating from the nasty crater his foot leaves, upturning cars and toppling streetlights.
Brickhouse surveys his work as dazed police start to extract themselves from the wreckage. He smirks, pleased. Nothing here to stop him now.
CAPTAIN VICTORY (OS)
BRICKHOUSE!
...Except him. Brickhouse slowly turns to face CAPTAIN VICTORY: all-American, with a set square jaw and a gleam in his eye. They regard each other, David and Goliath.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
The sign on the exhibit says not to touch.
He enjoys his own cleverness. Brickhouse snorts.
BRICKHOUSE
I don’t ever read nothin’, anyway. Now outta my--
TSEEEW! TSEEEW! GREEN ENERGY BOLTS strike Victory and Brickhouse, sending them both reeling.
The Staff goes spinning away. A gauntleted hand easily snatches it out of the air.
Brickhouse and Victory groggily climb to their feet, facing their assailant.
He is gaunt, with an insane, skull-like face. Heavy goggles on his forehead, his white lab coat billowing out like a cape. He stands astride a silver disc, hovering five feet off the ground. In his hand, the Staff of Ages.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
(simultaneous)
Professor Panic!
BRICKHOUSE
(simultaneous)
Who the hell are you?
PROFESSOR PANIC
The one and only. And now that all the hard work has already been done for me, the Staff of Ages is mine. Good day, gentlemen...
He ZOOMS off. Brickhouse grits his teeth.
BRICKHOUSE
No smart-ass science guy plays me like that...
He grabs the twisted remains of a nearby car, crushing it between his hands. He hefts the metal ball once before chucking it with godly force. It shoots through the air like a bullet...
Direct hit! A thin field of blue energy CRACKLES around Panic’s body as he’s knocked from his disc, eating dirt hard.
The disc careens into a nearby building, EXPLODING brilliantly in a flash of blue. The Staff skitters away...
...rolling into the center of these three titans. They all eye it. Then each other. And then...
IT’S ON.
Climbing to his feet, Panic runs for the Staff, gauntlets firing blast after blast, chewing up concrete with each wild shot!
Victory takes off, rocketing through the air towards the Staff, weaving between Panic’s incoming fire. His hand reaches out to grab the Staff--
WHAM! Brickhouse brutally bodychecks him! He tumbles head over feet, slamming right through a nearby concrete wall.
Greedily, Brickhouse grins as he claims the Staff...except Panic’s got his hand on the other end. With ease, he tugs, lifting Panic into the air--
--But Panic grips the Staff harder, his gauntlets glowing. Lightning ARCS down the Staff into Brickhouse’s body. The behemoth SEIZES, sparks coursing over his skin, between his teeth. His hair stands on end, starting to smoke...
He lets go, flinging Panic across the pavement in an ugly skid, his forcefield FLARING up the whole way as it gouges a new ditch in the wrecked street.
Brickhouse falls to his knees, each convulsion causing the street to shake. Panic scrambles to his feet, Staff in hand. He runs--
THOOM! A chunk of masonry lands heavily in the spot he was about to step. Captain Victory, shaking off building dust, throws another sizable chunk through the air--
Panic just rolls his eyes, smirks, raises his gaze and his gauntlet. TSEEEW! A green flash obliterates it before it reaches him. He looks back down. His smile dies.
CAPTAIN VICTORY IS RIGHT THERE.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
Start panicking.
He grabs Panic’s wrist, and with a simple motion wrenches the Staff out of his grip and brings Panic to his knees. He hefts the Staff.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
Thanks.
In the distance, Brickhouse, still shaking, struggles to his feet. Seeing red, breathing hard and ragged. He runs--
Down on his knees, Panic grits his teeth, clenches his fist, swings his gauntlet right up to Victory’s head, point blank range--
--Victory easily twists, leveling the gauntlet away from him--
TSEEEW! An extra-strength green bolt explodes out of it, hitting the approaching Brickhouse square in the chest. Brickhouse flips end over end, landing hard on his back. THOOM! The shockwave destroys all the nearby windows.
Victory peers over at Brickhouse warily. His chest is heaving, but slowly. Brickhouse is down for the count. He relaxes a measure, regains that wry smile as he inspects the gauntlet in his hand, roughly pulling on Panic’s arm.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
This is some real heat you’re packing here, doc--
PROFESSOR PANIC
Professor.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
Well, don’t worry. You’ll get your PhD in panic someday.
Panic is annoyed; he does not take well to banter.
PROFESSOR PANIC
You moron. Do you realize what you’re holding? Do you know why I’ve worked so hard to claim it as my own?
Victory looks the Staff over thoughtfully.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
No. I don’t know what this is. You could tell me it was an ancient Abyssinian backscratcher and I’d be hard-pressed to say otherwise.
Panic is baffled.
PANIC
How? How can you be such a drone? How can you fight so hard for something when you don’t even know what you’re fighting for?
Victory looks down at him, lets go of Panic’s arm. Panic snakes it away as quickly as possible, springing back. Victory watches him calmly.
VICTORY
I know the reason I fight. If you can’t figure it out, then you’re not much of a professor...You’ve failed today, Professor Panic. Go. Lick your wounds while I deal with that there.
He nods toward the unconscious Brickhouse.
VICTORY (CONT’D)
You’re welcome to try again another day. But when you do...I’ll be waiting.
Panic shoots him a glare of pure venom, then presses a button on his gauntlet. The air SHIMMERS, and Professor Panic fades away.
Satisfied, Victory looks to the Staff, then to Brickhouse.
VICTORY
Let’s get you both back where you belong.
He grabs Brickhouse’s limp wrist, dragging his unconscious body down the street towards the Museum.
Ahead, a wave of police, press, and cheering citizens are rushing to him, excitedly shouting and whooping. He stops, smiles, lets them come to him. This is what he does it all for.
The strobe of dozens of flashbulbs. A choir of yelled questions. A sea of hands trying to reach out and touch him. Like the pro he is, Captain Victory strolls into the thick of it with poise and ease.
CAPTAIN VICTORY
Please, please...I can only answer fourteen of you at once.
As he gives the cameras his best smile, holding up the Staff like a trophy--
SMASH TO BLACK.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:15 am
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
The museum is closed for the night. The rooms and halls are empty, dimly lit by security lights.
INT. SECURITY ROOM -- LATER
GREGORY BROWN, 30, an unthreateningly skinny security guard, sits in a chair in front of six television MONISTORS. He’s leaning back in his seat reading, lost in the MYSTERIES OF THE ANCIENT WORLD novel.
CLIFTON and PEYTON, fellow security guards, walks up to Gregory and slaps the book from out of his hand. It falls to the ground, revealing the chapter on GABON’S STAFF he was reading.
CLIFTON
We’re on planet earth, Gagory!
Gregory snaps out of it and bends down to pick up his book.
GREGORY
I told you that’s not my name.
PEYTON
When you’re on monitor-watch duty, watch the monitors.
CLIFTON
Now you’re on floor duty. Start roaming.
Clifton grabs the book from Gregory’s hand and throws it in the trash.
Gregory looks at Clifton for a moment and then begins to leave the room.
PEYTON
He’s such a push-over.
Peyton and Clifton laugh to each other and close the door. Gregory stops and looks over his shoulder slightly. He smirks to himself and then continues walking.
INT. ARTIFACTS ROOM -- LATER
Gregory stands in front of a large glass CASE. To the left of the case reads ‘GABON’S STAFF: POWER AND PREEMINENCE’.
Gregory reaches for his gun holster and pulls out his GUN. He aims at the glass case.
INT. SECURTY ROOM -- LATER
Peyton has his head down on a table and Clifton is watching the monitors while eating a doughnut and sipping on coffee.
Suddenly, the security alarm BLASTS throughout the room. Peyton shoots up from his seat and Clifton spills the coffee all over himself.
CLIFTON
Shit!
Clifton hastily reviews the security monitors and notices the missing staff in one of the artifacts room.
CLIFTON (CONT’D)
Son of a bitch!
Peyton and Clifton race out of the room.
INT. ARTIFACTS ROOM -- LATER
The alarms have silenced now. Peyton and Clifton race into the room holding their guns and searching for an intruder.
PEYTON
Hey, Brown!
CLIFTON
Greg!
They hear nothing.
The ground RUMBLES.
CLIFTON
What was that?
PEYTON
Automatic security locks?
The ground RUMBLES again.
CLIFTON
I don’t think--
SMASH -- the walls collapse on top of both Peyton and Clifton. The heavy pieces and clumps of the wall crush both of them. The debris and smoke begin to clear, revealing a towering, DARK FIGURE standing over the depleted remains of the two security guards.
Clifton can barely speak through his coughs and blood-gargling.
CLIFTON (CONT’D)
What...who are...you?
The Dark Figure reveals its face as it leans down towards Clifton.
Its face is a devil’s red with pitch black eyes. Its muscles ripping from the skin, showing the details of the fibers.
DARK FIGURE
Unable to be pushed over. Unable to be pushed around.
(beat)
A brick house I am.
BRICKHOUSE picks up some rubble from the ground. He looks over the helpless, terrified security guards for a moment and then SMASHS the rubble on their faces.
BRICKHOUSE breaks through the walls of the museum and into the parking lot.
EXT. PARKING LOT -- LATER
BRICKHOUSE is pushing over whatever is in his way -- cars, trucks, dumpsters – anything.
Behind one of the cars he flips stands BLAKE STRONG, the famed explorer and museum owner. He calmly stands smoking a cigarette in his t-shirt and bath robe.
STRONG
You couldn’t have done this at a better hour?
(beat, taking a drag)
Quite a lot of damage you’ve done here. I’m going to have to take it out of your paycheck, Gregory.
BRICKHOUSE
(growling)
Brickhouse!
STRONG
Cute. One of the many nicknames on the list of poor souls who thought they could control Gabon’s staff.
Strong steps closer to Brickhouse.
STRONG (CONT’D)
You feel powerful, Gregory? They did too.
BRICKHOUSE
I can control it better than anyone could have imagined! Now move!
Brickhouse swipes at Strong. Strong jumps up and grabs onto the Brickhouse’s thumb. Brickhouse attempts to shake Strong off of him.
Suddenly, a sea of COP CARS, ARMY TANKS and HELICOPTERS surround the area.
Brickhouse stops to observe the scene. Strong stables himself on Brickhouse’s arm.
STRONG
I figured you’d want to show some of my friends your new tricks.
Brickhouse looks down at Strong with a growl. Strong smirks. Brickhouse ROARS and tosses Strong into some bushes nearby.
The army tanks OPEN FIRE on Brickhouse. He swipes the missiles and bullets away like bugs as he aggressively stomps towards them.
Brickhouse jumps into the air and grabs a helicopter from the sky.
A group of POLICE OFFICERS quickly jump out of their car as Birckhouse SMASHES the helicopter on the cop car. He then takes his arm and swipes it along the tanks and cop cars, throwing them to the side like game pieces.
Brickhouse ROARS and then makes his escape, stomping towards the city.
EXT. PARKING LOT -- LATER
Strong is standing next to OFFICER DANIELS brushing himself off. The SOLDIERS and Police Officers surround them, attempting to clean up the area.
DANIELS
It’s a wand?
STRONG
An ancient staff. One that took me years and the lives of many men to obtain. Almost every empire throughout time has had possession of this staff. And every empire has fallen. Initially creates the illusion of success, but then--
DANIELS
What does it do?
STRONG
Gives power, strength, dominance. It’s like a God-makeover.
DANIELS
Unstoppable?
STRONG
Pretty-hard-to-stop-able.
DANIELS
Where’s he going?
STRONG
As history shows -- what does someone with power want? More power.
July 21st, 2009 at 8:30 am
A bit of ridiculousness – hope you enjoy
INT. HOUSE OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Quiet halls.
A footstep. Shadows fall.
The STAFF lies, spot lit on a pedestal, centre of the room. A grey green hand reaches forward...
ALARMS!
Doors SLAM shut around the room.
The evil blob that is BRICKHOUSE spins around, snarling in frustration.
All exits blocked.
He peers through the bars of the iron gates. A figure, JAKE, is silhouetted, leaning against the wall. He takes off his trilby, sparking a smoke.
JAKE (V.O.)
The moment I got the case, I knew Brickhouse would be the one behind the job. Just had to prove it.
Brickhouse cocks his ear, as if he can hear something.
BRICKHOUSE
You talking at me?
Jake ignores him.
JAKE (V.O.)
Legend had it that the staff gave psychic powers...let’s just say our friend shithouse needs all the help he can get.
Brickhouse flinches slightly at that.
BRICKHOUSE (V.O.)
You talking at me?
Jake starts from his self satisfied pose; walks quickly to the gate, watching Brickhouse closely.
BRICKHOUSE
Let me out.
Jake chuckles, taking another toke.
JAKE
Why would I do that?
BRICKHOUSE (V.O.)
Because the fourth wall is open.
Jake’s eyes widen. Cigarette drops from formless fingers. Numbly, he unlocks the gate.
Brickhouse crashes through, knocking Jake aside in his rush for the door.
The staff brushes Jake’s hand: he grabs it instinctively.
Jake is back – he locks gaze with Brickhouse.
JAKE
You’re one ugly bad-guy. Lego the staff
Brickhouse nuts Jake back into the wall.
Jake looks down at his hands – they hold half of the STAFF!
BRICKHOUSE
Give it here!
...as he charges in.
Jake ducks, avoiding a masonry-crushing fist that embeds itself in the wall above him.
Jake grabs his half of the staff with both hands; drives it up from his kneeling position...
...through the bottom of Brickhouse’s jaw; on, up, into Brickhouse’s brain.
Brickhouse remains frozen, one arm stuck in a wall, the other holding half the staff.
Jake maoves away to gatehr his Tir;by. Sparks another smoke.
JAKE (V.O.)
Yep, it’s all in the mind.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:00 am
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
BRICKHOUSE, a massive man wearing a suit and tie, passes his briefcase through the metal detector at the entrance to the CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES. His deep set eyes scan the spacious hallway as he lumbers quickly toward the far end.
Our heroine, HARICO VER, a thin woman in a skirt suit with wire rim glasses, follows. As she passes a paper folder through security, her eyes never lose sight of BRICKHOUSE’S bulging back.
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES, END OF HALL -- DAY
BRICKHOUSE removes two bricks from his briefcase and smashes the glass enclosure that protects the ornate, six-foot tall STAFF OF SQUALENE. Museum goers scream and scatter as BRICKHOUSE grasps the STAFF. In his hand, the STAFF of SQUALENE glows yellow, transferring energy to him and doubling his body in size. HARICO VER stops roughly 20 feet away from the giant.
HARICO VER
Put that down.
BRICKHOUSE
Why would I do that?
HARICO VER
Because the boost you’re feeling is short-lived. That staff will eventually start sucking energy away from you.
BRICKHOUSE laughs, throwing his head back. HARICO VER slowly moves closer to him.
BRICKHOUSE
That’s not what I’ve heard. I think you’re full of shit.
HARICO VER pulls out an unpublished academic paper from her folder to show to him. It’s titled “Exponential Decay and Reversal of Power Transfer Coupling Mechanism from STAFF OF SQUALENE to Mammalian Host.”
HARICO VER
Just give it a few minutes. You’ll see.
BRICKHOUSE pauses, and his hesitation gives HARICO VER the chance to dig her heal spike into his foot. As BRICKHOUSE bends over in pain, he swings the STAFF OF SQUALENE at her. With a quickness that belies her nerdiness, HARICO VER flattens to the floor. The momentum from BRICKHOUSE’s missed swipe turns him around. HARICO VER, laying on her stomach, nimbly ties his shoelaces together in an intricate, multidimensional knot. He tries to pivot but loses his balance and crashes into a case that houses a collection of smaller, less ornate staffs. HARICO VER runs toward the exit. BRICKHOUSE shakes off the glass, rips apart his shoelaces, and stomps after her, his body trembling with STAFF OF SQUALENE-infused rage.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
HARICO VER
Is this the one you were looking for?
In a gloved hand, HARICO VER holds a shorter slender staff, only slightly larger than a stick used for roasting marshmallows.
BRICKHOUSE
(Out of breath)
Is that the STAFF OF ENCELADUS?
HARICO VER
It is. But you don’t have the energy to come and get it, do you?
BRICKHOUSE stumbles forward, suddenly small, with sallow skin. He looks at the STAFF OF SQUALENE he is holding and tries to throw it, but it’s stuck to his hand, glowing brighter than ever.
HARICO VER
If you come with me, I might be able to help you.
BRICKHOUSE
Why would you help me?
HARICO VER
Your poor planning has made you the perfect subject for my next paper. You’re more use to me alive.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:03 am
INT. MUSEUM GALLERY – DAY
Serene and cold in its emptiness, the room holds many of Town’s most interesting artifacts. Plus one giant angry man, and one irritated woman.
BRICKHOUSE, 30, rages in the center of the room, waving around a really tacky but gigantic staff that probably cost about a thousand times what any reasonable human being would pay for it. Brickhouse is the kind of guy you automatically assume is a douche. He’s 6′4″ and about 300 lbs, most of it muscle that he’s currently using to scare the piss out of his girlfriend.
LILA, considerably smaller and cuter, stands far from the swinging staff with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed.
An OLD WOMAN pokes her head in, sees the rage, and flees.
LILA
Brick, put it down.
BRICKHOUSE
Stop telling me what to do!
LILA
You’re being childish.
Brickhouse slams the staff into the wall.
LILA
Great. Now you’ve cause property damage.
BRICKHOUSE
That’s what I do! I’m a madman!
LILA
Yes. Woohoo. Can we go now?
BRICKHOUSE
What? You bitched and moaned for like three weeks about coming to the museum. What’s the matter? Museum’s not boring enough for you anymore?
LILA
You’re going to end up in- AHH!
A skylight smashes, raining down shards of pointy glass. Brickhouse flings the staff to deflect the glass, which doesn’t work because of physics.
STRAIGHT ARROW shoots into the room and slams into the floor like a graceful aardvark. He leaps to his feet, puffs out his muscular chest and shakes his well-conditioned mane.
STRAIGHT ARROW
Unhand this lady, Brickhouse!
LILA
Actually I’m okay. We’re just having an argument.
STRAIGHT ARROW
No worries, my dear, I’ll deal with this monster!
LILA
Totally not necessary.
Brickhouse smirks and whips his staff around at Straight Arrow’s head. Straight Arrow catches it and kicks out right into Brickhouse’s chest, which knocks him back a millimeter.
BRICKHOUSE
HAH! You suck!
STRAIGHT ARROW
Shut up asshole!
He uses a bench to leap into the air, landing a roundhouse in Brickhouse’s face. This causes the big man to stumble back and drop the staff, which rolls a turn or tow toward Lila.
LILA
Really, guys. This is just silly.
The two men grab at each other and tumble to the floor, rolling and grabbing at each other’s clothes.
BRICKHOUSE
Ow!
STRAIGHT ARROW
Stop grabbing my hair!
Lila picks up the staff and WHACKS them both on the backside.
STRAIGHT ARROW AND BRICKHOUSE
OOOOW!
Lila drops the staff.
LILA
Stop it, both of you. Brick. I’m hungry. I want a taco.
BRICKHOUSE
I don’t have any cash.
LILA
Then we’ll go by an ATM.
Brickhouse shrugs and they head toward the door. Straight Arrow stands, breathing heavy, hair an absolute mess.
STRAIGHT ARROW
Halt, fiend!
LILA
Dude, let it go.
They walk out of the gallery. Straight Arrow picks up the staff.
STRAIGHT ARROW
This thing is tacky.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:53 am
I’m enjoying these.
EXT. METROPOLITAN STREET -- NIGHT
An ANCIENT STAFF cuts a jagged line into the pavement of a devastated city block. BRICKHOUSE, a rhinoceros of a man in space armor, plods forward with the staff at his side. He’s big, strong, and dumb as a box of moon rocks.
Cars are overturned, buildings are smashed, those people still alive run the other way. At the end of the road is our big boy’s destination -- a GLOWING PORTAL that hovers above a pile of rubble.BRICKHOUSE
Portal...
Running against the fleeing crowd, is VANCE, 28. Tattered t-shirt and ripped up jeans. Our unassuming hero doesn’t do this everyday.
Brickhouse shit-cans a stalled FORD MUSTANG out of his way.VANCE
Oh no he didn’t. Hey!
Vance taps his right hand. A GREEN GEMSTONE is buried deep within his palm. He taps it again. Nothing.VANCE
That was a Shelby you space gorilla!
Brickhouse doesn’t react. Keeps on trucking.VANCE
Why don’t you stomp a Toyota next time?
Vance shakes his gemstone hand furiously. It sparks a few green flickers, but goes dead again.VANCE
Goddamn it.
Brickhouse nears the portal. Vance picks up a piece of broken concrete and hurls it at the giant. It bounces harmlessly off his head.VANCE
Get back here!
Vance grabs another shard of pavement. Chucks it at him. No reaction. He picks up anything -- everything -- glass bottles, twisted bits of rebar, car parts, chunks of sidewalk -- fastballs them at Brickhouse. Brickhouse doesn’t even flinch.
Vance frisbee tosses a mangled piece of exhaust pipe -- cuts his finger on an edge.VANCE
Ow! Fuck!
He sucks on the blood. Suddenly, the gemstone in his hand glows a faint green.VANCE
You’re a fickle little super gem, aren’t you?
Vance raises his weapon hand like Mega-Man. Fires off a blast of GREEN ENERGY. It hammers Brickhouse in the shoulder. The beast stumbles. A trail of purple space blood. He sure as hell felt that one. Turns to face our hero. Big boy ain’t happy.VANCE
Uh-huh. Bring it.EXT. STREET`- FURTHER DOWN – CONTINUOUS
A passenger bus lies on its side, the back engine crushed and on fire. A TREE is upended beside it. MARTY, 30, the kind of guy who spends his Fridays at Hooters, pulls injured passengers away from the crash.
MARTY
Get away from the bus, let’s haul ass people!MARTY
Dodge is the city and you want to get the fuck out! Move!
BOOM! The ground shakes. Marty looks over to see Vance and Brickhouse doing the man dance. Vance fires off green energy blasts, but Brickhouse takes them well. The alien swings his giant fists at Vance, who barely ducks out the way.MARTY
Come on Vance.EXT. METROPOLITAN STREET -- CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse gets hold of Vance’s arm and ragdolls him into the air. Vance slams into a parked sedan. Windows shatter. He peels himself off the side panel.
VANCE
Ok. That hurt. He breaks into a run.VANCE
My turn.
He sprints straight at the baddie. Brickhouse swings a fist. Vance ducks it -- baseball slides between his giant legs -- blasts Brickhouse in the ass. The space man moans and drops to his knees.
Vance jumps to his feet. Blasts him again and again. Brickhouse drops the staff.VANCE
What you got now???
Vance circles and fires. Brickhouse is getting weaker.VANCE
Ain’t so tough now, are you???
But Vance gets too close. Brickhouse grabs him by the wrist and SLAMS him into the ground. Again. And again. Bam-Bam Rubble style.
Brickhouse tosses him fifty feet back. Vance lands with a thud. Coughs up a lung-full of blood. Brickhouse plods towards him. Vance can only watch as he nears.
Brickhouse STOMPS on Vance’s face. He’s losing consciousness. Brickhouse picks up his limp body and slugs Vance in the head. Again. And again. And agai--
THWACK! A crust of pavement hits Brickhouse in between the eyes.MARTY
Get off him!
Marty stands, trembling, behind them with a flaming tree branch in his hand. Brickhouse turns. Sneers.MARTY
Get up Vance!
Marty swings the branch at Brickhouse. Brickhouse grabs his staff off the floor and stomps over to the torchbearer.MARTY
Get up!BRICKHOUSE
You die.
Vance’s paralyzed body watches his friend lead the monster away.VANCE
Marty... run...
And his eyes close.MARTY
Vance!
The gemstone in Vance’s hand softly dims. It pulses, slower and slower, until it glows no longer. Empty. Dead.MARTY
Vance!!!
Brickhouse stalks Marty down. Marty swings the branch again. Brickhouse splinters it away with the staff.BRICKHOUSE
Sacrifice for Master. You die now.
Marty turns to run, but Brickhouse yanks him back by the hair.MARTY
No!!!
Brickhouse plods towards the portal. In one hand, the ancient staff, in the other, Marty.
Vance lies lifeless in the middle of the street.
Brickhouse tosses Marty at the foot of the portal.MARTY
I’ll kill you, ya big goon!!
Brickhouse shoves the ancient staff into the portal. The gateway doubles in size and glows twice as bright. Something forces its way through. Something big.MARTY
Oh fuck.ANGLE ON VANCE’S GEMSTONE
In his bruised and battered hand. A faint glow. It sputters. The gemstone wakes to life.AT THE PORTAL
A GROTESQUE FIGURE pulls forward from the portal. It dwarfs Brickhouse in size and ugly. This would be “Master.” Marty cowers in fear as Brickhouse stands guard.
The gemstone glows in Vance’s hand -- brighter than it ever has up to now -- so bright in fact, that it sears the flesh around it. Vance opens his eyes.
The portal grows larger. The little bit we saw of Master was just that. This fucker is huge. Brickhouse raises the staff in salute.BRICKHOUSE
Master!!!
The monster is halfway out the portal, when...VANCE
Hey, shitface.
Brickhouse, Marty, and Master look up.
Vance stands. Slumped shoulders. Broken. Damaged. And pissed the hell off. Green mist emanates from his hand. His eyes glow emerald fury. It’s clobbering time.MARTY
Oh shit...
Vance fires the MOTHER OF ALL BLASTS! EYES GLOWING -- FEET DIGGING INTO CEMENT -- VEINS BULGING!
Marty barely jumps out of the way.
The energy wave SLAMS into Brickhouse and Master. Brickhouse disintegrates immediately. Master is thrown back into the portal.
Pure energy flows through Vance and he dumps it into the portal. It buckles, shakes, vibrates, and finally collapses. Vance drops to his knees.VANCE
And there goes lunch.
He barfs.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:59 am
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Amidst unspeakable destruction, BRICKHOUSE finally claims the ANCIENT STAFF. As his fingers tighten around its dark wood, the milky orb glows, dervish-fast wisps of light encircling him.
BRICKHOUSE
It is mine.
Behind him, the CRINKLE of footsteps on broken glass. Brickhouse turns.
It’s THE ENDURIST -- shadow-black suit, midnight-blue mask disguising his identity -- arrived to stop this crime in progress.
ENDURIST
Sorry, Brickhouse. That belongs to the City.
The Endurist charges. Brickhouse’s body convulses, expanding rapidly -- his shoulders rupture the tiled ceiling. The Endurist seizes Brickhouse’s wrist and holds on as...
EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
Brickhouse’s increasing mass explodes through the roof of the museum. The Endurist swats away debris, but manages to hang tight.
Brickhouse grows and grows -- the Museum now a stone shoe around his immense foot. He staggers against a building, carving away huge chunks as his form multiplies in the night.
The process stops. Brickhouse surveys the landscape, tall skyscrapers merely chest high. He is unstoppable.
BRICKHOUSE
(roaring)
I. Am. BRICKHOUSE!
He opens his hand, the Ancient Staff a twig in his gigantic palm.
The Endurist scampers over Brickhouse’s thumb, staring up at the humongous villain.
THE ENDURIST
Stop. You’re under arrest.
Brickhouse smiles, and tips his palm. The Endurist falls.
Tumbling through the air, the Endurist spots the Ancient Staff. Grasping it, the milky orb glows, wisps of light encircling him...
July 21st, 2009 at 11:30 am
-can someone please interpret the “grabbing of an ancient staff” as like a hostage situation with a bunch of old geezers working @ the museum, instead of the same damn set piece…? –the originality might pop and stand out to the judges and BORED readers alike…
July 21st, 2009 at 11:36 am
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
In the darkened hall, BRICKHOUSE stands beside the shattered cabinet. He holds the STAFF tightly in both hands, it points upwards to the centre of the domed ceiling of the museum, in almost perfect alignment. A gravelly voice seems to emanate from everywhere.
THE VOICE
Right. Right!
Brickhouse, clearly confused, shuffles across a couple of steps.
THE VOICE
There. Stay there.
Brickhouse grunts. The Staff begins to glow as if a great energy exists within it. Brickhouse lets out a pain-filled cry but cannot move. Light begins to encompass the hall.
THE VOICE
It fills me.
A shadow of corporeal form begins to emerge, arms outstretched, looking up to the light. Little by little it gains more substance.
Brickhouse’s body convulses with the force of the energy surrounding him.
THE VOICE
I feel it.
A noise, something knocked over in the background. The shadowy figure looks but cannot see, blinded by the intense light.
A MAN in the shadows, watching, bides his time.
The light cuts. In the darkness Brickhouse, drained of life, lies crumpled on the ground.
The shadowy figure is now solid. An ancient KNIGHT. He kicks at the remains of Brickhouse and his form shatters to dust. As it settles, the Knight senses a presence. He draws his SWORD, scanning high and low as he slowly turns.
KNIGHT
Show yourself. Only cowards hide.
The Man reveals himself from behind a pillar up high.
KNIGHT
Ha! And where is your armour?
The Man steps up onto a balcony ledge, legs spanning the space.
KNIGHT
A mere man. You think I would waste my effort on you?
The Knight turns away, sheathing his sword.
In the background, the Man unfurls large, red, dragon-like wings from his back and a fiery breath singes the Knight’s hair.
KNIGHT
Drax!
The Knight swings round, his sword once again drawn.
KNIGHT
But the Drax all died. I saw them die.
DRAX
Is this dead?
The Knight dodges another fiery breath as Drax launches from the balcony, the body of a man, the breath and wings of a dragon. The Knight backs off a step or two, unsure.
Drax lands by Brickhouse and looks sympathetically down at the remains.
DRAX
It’s always about you.
KNIGHT
He was expendable. You think you can stop me? You can’t.
The Knight begins to circle Drax. Drax follows his steps around.
DRAX
It is the only reason I exist.
KNIGHT
You don’t believe those old wives tales do you? It’s a myth that the good always win.
The Knight flashes his sword at Drax who dodges and grabs the Staff to block.
A light switch clicks and Drax drops the Staff and soars upwards. In the same moment the Knight melts into the darkness of a corridor, faint steps running in the distance.
The CURATOR walks in and seeing the devastation hits the alarm.
Drax watches from behind the balcony pillar. He turns to see the Knight disappearing down the street through a window.
The Curator slowly approaches the centre of the room. He bends down and touches the brick dust.
The sound of wings fills the air and the dust swirls around the Curator. He looks up but there is nothing.
In the corner of the hall, a broken golden egg sits unnoticed.
July 21st, 2009 at 11:37 am
Heh heh, Ca.l.l.y. We do think alike. I guess I just tried to “subvert” expectations by aiming for a family blockbuster. I think Transformers numbed me to the giant villain thing for a bit.
July 21st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
BRICKHOUSE emerges from the Hall of Ancient Egypt with the Staff of the Gods.
PEOPLE run for the exits, as SECURITY GUARDS communicate frantically on their walkie talkies.
PING -- a 9mm round bounces off of Brickhouse’s stone armor.
Distracted from digging into his satchel, Brickhouse turns to the Security Guards, who form a line of defense near the exits.
More GUNFIRE annoys Brickhouse. He takes a small device from the satchel, and he activates it. Throwing it toward the Guards, the device emits a powerful lightning strike, and the energy mutilates the humans within a fifty-foot radius.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
Pandemonium. CROWDS flee for their lives. The traffic is stopped and disorganized. The flashes of energy shoot out of the front doors of the museum. The doors are vaporized, the entrance a mangled mess.
Brickhouse steps outside, stomping ahead slowly, watching the People flee before his wrath.
He presses a button on his helmet, and this amplifies his voice.
BRICKHOUSE
Commoners and servants, today marks the end of the Old Order.
He digs into the satchel, and he removes the world’s largest diamond, the Eye of the Gods.
Police cars collect at the intersections, their SIRENS louder and louder.
Brickhouse’s amplifier drowns them out.
BRICKHOUSE
Today, you will behold the New Order. A new world, as was decreed by your Ancient Fathers.
Brickhouse holds the diamond up to the sunlight, where the gleam is blinding. He inserts the Eye of the Gods into the Staff of the Gods, where it naturally fits into the “All Seeing Eye” spot above an engraved pyramid.
The city QUAKES with a new release of energy.
Brickhouse wields the Staff, as it shoots excess bolts of lightning randomly.
The brightness of the Staff’s energy outshines the sun, and this leaves the rest of the city dim by comparison.
Brickhouse aims the energy at the ground.
The ground transforms and grows. The street becomes stone, upon stone, upon stone. A full sized Egyptian pyramid grows itself in the middle of this modern city.
The Pyramid destroys the surrounding structures, digging into the walls of the other buildings, knocking them sideward and twisting their skeletons to make way.
As the pyramid shoots skyward and completes its creation, Brickhouse stomps onward toward the steps of a stone stairway that leads up to the very top.
BRICKHOUSE
Ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha...
#
July 21st, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Conveniently, I’ve been playing a superhero RPG lately. After about 30 seconds of toying around with the idea of being clever about the genre, I decided that the timing was just too perfect and I should just do it straight up superhero style and write in my game character, Adam.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE MUSEUM OF UBIQIUTIES – NIGHT
A POLICE CRUISER screeches to a halt in front of the massive building as stonework rains down onto the street.
An instant later, an ELEVATOR CAR slams into the front of the cruiser, spinning it completely around.
As BRICKHOUSE emerges from the wrecked Museum entryway, TWO COPS hop out of the wrecked cruiser and open fire.
Their bad luck.
Three Hells Angels wide and twice as mean, Brickhouse plucks the STROBE BAR off the roof of the Cruiser and
LINE DRIVES the Cops like big blue hardballs.
In his other hand, an Onyx SCEPTER courses with a visible pulse of DARK ENERGY.
Across the street, a DOZEN MAN S.W.A.T. TEAM hops out of their van and opens up FULL AUTO.
S.W.A.T. COMMANDER JONES, a real square-jaw stoic, is not one to let things get to him. But when he sees the Sceptre, it gets to him.
COMMANDER JONES
He’s got the Apocalypse Staff! Fall back! Take cover!
The S.W.A.T. men continue spraying rounds at Brickhouse as they fall back toward the buildings.
Brickhouse turns toward the annoyance. Swats the bullets away like a swarm of gnats. PUNTS the Cruiser into the side of the S.W.A.T. VAN.
Screaming CIVILIANS flee from the area as a laughing Brickhouse amuses himself by FLICKING the heads off parking meters and into the scattering S.W.A.T. men.
BRICKHOUSE
Brickhouse likes this game.
One S.W.A.T. MAN takes a meter head right in the helmet and collapses unconscious in front of the Commander.
COMMANDER JONES
(into chest mic)
Come in Adam! Brickhouse is at the Museum of Ubiquities. He’s got the -- UNGHH!
JONES doubles-over as the head of a parking meter SLAMS him in the gut and propels him through the plate glass window of a nearby shop.
SIRENS fill the air as more COP CARS swarm into the area, disgorging COPS left and right.
Brickhouse grins. Rips a LAMP POST from the ground and smacks it in the palm of his hand in anticipation.
The Cops ring the area. Guns blazing, they cover behind anything solid.
IN THE SKY
a whisper quiet WHITE HELICOPTER races toward the scene at incredible speed. The side door slides open.
BELOW
Brickhouse swats aside another Cop Car. Chuckles. He does like this game.
ADAM (O.S.)
Naughty naughty.
Brickhouse turns toward the voice and
KABOOM!
A sudden EXPLOSION sends Brickhouse flying into the stone wall.
As he shakes it off, Brickhouse looks on with curiosity as a man emerges from the cloud of smoke. The man unhooks a parachute harness and lets it fall away.
Clad in a white lab coat and goggles, ADAM BOMB looks like the scientist he is. But while most scientists labor to merely understand the nature of atomic structure, he has learned to manipulate it.
Arcs of WHITE ATOMIC ENERGY ride between Adam’s Einsteinian shocks of white hair like a Jacob’s Ladder.
As Adam reaches for the SCEPTRE, the DARK ENERGY pulses die down.
ADAM
Now what’s a big boy like you going to do with a little toy like that?
BRICKHOUSE
Brickhouse doesn’t like this game.
Brickhouse throws a haymaker at Adam. A moment before fist crunches face, Adam clasps his arms across his chest and
KABOOM!
Brickhouse is once more slammed into the building by the EXPLOSION emanating from Adam’s body.
Adam grabs for the Sceptre. But Brickhouse has recovered more quickly than anticipated. He pulls the scepter away. Adam clasps his arms across his chest and
A GUT PUNCH sends Adam flying towards a POLICE CAR.
Unfortunately for the occupants, Adam is dazed. Control over his power falters a moment too long.
KABOOM!
The BLAST rips a crater into the street. Sends the car tumbling into the side of a building.
Dozens of Cops open fire on Brickhouse. Enticed by more sport, Brickhouse advances on them.
Then he spots Adam climbing out of the crater.
Brickhouse decides to make a run for it. The ground shakes as he runs off down the street
PUNCHING his way through Cops and Cop Cars.
ADAM
runs after him. He reaches forward with his gloved had as if trying to grasp for the fleeing villian, but then
BRICKHOUSE
slows to a stop. Looks confused. Stares down at the road, which as turned into
MOLTEN STEEL and is quickly hardening around his massive legs.
Brickhouse, furious, tosses the Sceptre aside and starts POUNDING at the steel. He makes huge dents, but fails to free himself.
Adam picks up the Scepter.
ADAM
Fortunately, you don’t know how to use you new toy.
DR. DARKNESS (O.S.)
Unfortunately for you, I do.
The Sceptre begins to pulse frenetically. Sweat beads down Adam’s brow as he strains to maintain his grasp on it.
Adam punches a BUTTON on the DEVICE clipped to his belt, as he whips around to face
DR. DARKNESS, a menace far greater than his bald, bespectacled appearance would lead one to believe. When it comes to evil, Dr. Mengele’s got nothing on this guy. Jet black eyes match his jet black suit.
ADAM
Darkness. I figured you were his new keeper.
Dr. Darkness hurls a ball of DARK ENERGY at Adam, who is whisked out of the way just in time by
THE WHITE HELICOPTER
which is flying low and dragging a catch line. Adam clings to it
ADAM
Since you’re so fond of black, here’s a little gift.
Adam flips what looks like a jet black coin between Dr. Darkness and Brickhouse.
Dr. Darkness turns to annihilate the aircraft. But his DARK ENERGY RAY misses the chopper and blasts the corner off the building as he’s suddenly jerked backwards.
Darkness and Brickhouse find themselves being dragged towards
A TINY BLACK HOLE
It sucks-in newspaper boxes and parking meters. Then a parked car.
BRICKHOUSE
Doc! What’s happening?
DR. DARKNESS
(strained)
Idiot -- Shut up -- must -- concentrate.
Darkness strains with exertion as he pumps a stream of DARK ENERGY at the singularity. Even with all this effort, he’s being slowly dragged towards it.
Brickhouse and his giant legirons are ripped from the asphalt. His huge hands rip apart the road as he struggles to avoid being dragged into oblivion.
A BURST OF BLACKNESS
and a fatigued Dr. Darkness collapses to the ground. He’s successfully annihilated the singularity.
Brickhouse thrashes about in a tantrum as resumes trying to tear the steel off his legs.
DR. DARKNESS
That black hole was just the right size to consume all my strength and then collapse. Adam Bomb will pay for this.
In his fit, Brickhouse smashes his steel clad legs into several nearby cars.
DR. DARKNESS
Brickhouse! Stop fooling around.
Darkness melts away Brickhouse’s steel bonds.
DR. DARKNESS
Get up. We’re going to pay a visit to The Spectre.
BRICKHOUSE
Brickhouse is afraid of The Spectre.
DR. DARKNESS
Sometimes you’re not a dumb as you look.
A cloud of DARK ENERGY engulfs the few brave Cops that have dared to approach the scene as Dr. Darkness and Brickhouse walk away down a desolate alleyway.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:04 pm
EXT. NEW YORK SKYLINE – DAY
BRICKHOUSE holds the MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES in the air like a mug of coffee.
EXT. THE STREET BELOW
People dash from the shower of dust and brick. Brickhouse lifts his ENORMOUS FOOT, FLATTENS half a Catholic school; nuns and children shoot out windows on the other side.
EXT. NEW YORK SKYLINE
Brickhouse peels off the museum’s top floor and plops it atop an EIGHTY-STORY BUILDING.
He reaches into the museum and plucks out a ROOM. Cowering inside are he elderly GLADYS, LANGWORTH, and JEDEDIAH, each in MUSEUM UNIFORM.
BRICKHOUSE
ANCIENT STAFF. HUH HUH HUH.
With an elderly scream, Jedediah falls out the door.
EXT. THE STREET BELOW
EXCELLENTMAN, a strapping chiseled horse of a man, FLIES IN and CATCHES a BRICK WALL before it crushes a BOSOMY YOUNG LADY. He flashes her a winning smile. Jedediah lands with a sick thud beside them.
EXCELLENTMAN
Remain calm, citizens. Excellentman is he--
SMASH goes Excellentman under Brickhouse’s brick house of a foot.
Brickhouse leans down and checks Excellentman’s remains.
BRICKHOUSE
ANCIENT STAFF. HUH HUH HUH. OH WAIT, NO WORK THAT TIME.
EXT. NEW YORK SKYLINE
Upright again, Brickhouse peers into the closet.
BRICKHOUSE
NOW ANCIENT STAFF GIVE ME ANCIENT POWER.
LANGWORTH
No, not us, you moron! The Ancient Staff is a thing!
BRICKHOUSE
ANCIENT STAFF NOT TALK WAY OUT THIS ONE.
He pops the room in his mouth. Gladys LEAPS and grabs his GUTTER LIP before the ALUMINUM SIDING TEETH come down.
GLADYS
Stop! I’ll give you anything you want!
Brickhouse picks her up between two fingers.
BRICKHOUSE
BRICKHOUSE LISTENING.
GLADYS
Well, uhh... Let’s see... I find you very erotic.
BRICKHOUSE
BRICKHOUSE GAY.
Chomp.
BRICKHOUSE
BRICKHOUSE FEEL ANCIENT POWER!
He disintegrates into a MAYAN PYRAMID. A bespectacled HISTORY PROFESSOR walks up to it.
HISTORY PROFESSOR
Look at that masonry.
(shakes head)
Those ancient Mayans.
He walks away in awe of man.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:15 pm
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES BASEMENT – NIGHT
Plump drops of abundant sweat fall heavy on a gilded staff. Massive, white knuckled hands clench the bejeweled rod. They belong to BRICKHOUSE, a mammoth monster of a former man, with a shock of red hair on his giant head.
He heaves, crouched and leadfooted with his giant form almost overtaking the cramped space of a darkened basement. A few bulbs burn overhead. He gasps for breath, drenched to the bone with the chaos of a frantic search strewn around him. Boxes bashed. Priceless items in maddening bits. BRICKHOUSE draws the staff closer to him, the golden glow revealing a mangled face and a twisted grimace hanging in the silent darkness.
JANE (O.S.)
Carl!
BRICKHOUSE whips around, clutching the staff to his chest, its knobbed ends barely reaching across his shoulder blades. He explodes from his squatting position and with a low, determined growl rams clean through the basement wall.
EXT. LAWN OF THE MUSEUM – NIGHT
Chunks of brick fly onto the perfectly manicured grounds of the museum with BRICKHOUSE barreling afterward. Before he even gets both feet outside he’s toppled over by a blond-haired, red-clothed blur.
JANE, in skin-tight, red suit and thigh high boots, flips over and lands standing in front of BRICKHOUSE. She hoists a sizeable chunk of mortar above her head and brings it crashing into BRICKHOUSE’S skull. Down he goes – splayed over minty green grass and trying to recover. She crouches down to smooth his soaked hair.
JANE
Ah, Carl.
She squints sad eyes at the injured giant below her.
JANE(cont’d)
So strong. And at the same time...
JANE reaches out slowly for the staff.
JANE(cont’d)
so weak.
As she wraps her elegant fingers around the prize, BRICKHOUSE grabs her wrist. JANE tries to wrench away, still holding the staff, but BRICKHOUSE lifts her off the ground, his eyes furiously focused on her wincing and perfect face. Grunting he swings her around by the wrist and lets go, sending JANE rocketing through a nearby tree and into the well-lit parking lot of the museum, her body splitting SUVs and 4-door sedans along the way.
BRICKHOUSE
My name BRICKHOUSE!
BRICKHOUSE snatches up the staff and lumbers toward the mangled mess where JANE lies.
BRICKHOUSE
Who this Carl? I am BRICKHOUSE. Master of the Universe and all that I survey.
JANE struggles to unwedge herself from between a Buick as BRICKHOUSE looms in front of her, wielding the staff like a high school baton twirler.
JANE
You’re name is Carl Hansol. You have two children. A boy and a girl.
BRICKHOUSE leans his gigantic head back and shouts out a thunderous laugh. He jams the staff into the Buicks window, narrowly missing JANE’s head.
JANE
You have a wife, BRICKHOUSE!
BRICKHOUSE
Gods don’t need wives or children.
JANE
Carl, please, stop. That thing...
BRICKHOUSE looks down at the staff, its former sheen now an eerie and unearthly glow.
JANE
It’s changed you. It’s turning you into a monster.
BRICKHOUSE stops smiling. He crowds in close to JANE and grabs her around the neck, squeezing and scowling at her.
JANE
(choking, gasping)
You have a wife, Carl. She loves you...
Janes face swells with the gathering blood unable to escapes BRICKHOUSE’S ever-tightening grip. She cries and struggles.
JANE
Her name is Jane. She loves you, Carl. I love you.
Grime and puss-laden saliva rolls from around BRICKHOUSE’s gums while he continues to choke the life out of JANE. Her eyes flutter and roll back. Just as she has given up, the swift, soft sound of several darks whizzes into earshot.
BRICKHOUSE starts to sway. His hand comes loose from JANES neck and he falls flat on his face, revealing at least seven barbs lodged into his fleshy back. A teenage boy in all black wearing a snug beanie on his head, PETER, approaches, with a long-range dart gun secured in his hands. JANE rubs her neck and coughs as she emerges from the wreck.
PETER
You okay?
JANE
Yes, sweety, I’m fine.
PETER removes his beanie to reveal the same bright red locks as BRICKHOUSE.
PETER
Next time, I’m gonna kill him.
JANE
After we destroy the staff there won’t be a next time.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:28 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM, UBIQUITIES WING -- DAY
The sounds of chaos and terror echo in from the streets outside as Brickhouse continues his destruction of life.
A side door is the point of entry for our group. GORDON cautiously leads the way, his right hand tucked inside his tattered army jacket, followed quickly by FATHER TATE, AARON, and, of course, EMMY.
Gordon stops short before us, staring past us and frozen in place by some unseen horror.
GORDON
(softly)
Jesus...
We REVERSE now to reveal the slaughter house that the museum has become. The place is littered with the corpses of the young and old, with the corpses of both men and women, anyone who made the mistake of coming to the museum today.
But just then Gordon remembers why they’re there and spots an ornate, gold and jewel lined display case across the room. It’s literally been ripped open.
GORDON
(cont.)
Shit!
He moves off past us now and Emmy takes his place. Like Father Tate and the young Aaron, Emmy is still stunned by the nightmare before her.
EMMY
All these people...
Her tears come easily now, her ethereal beauty marred by her sorrow for the dead. Quietly, she sobs.
Tate and Aaron compose themselves enough now to give Emmy a few precious moments of privacy and join Gordon at the case.
Gordon stares at the giant display, ignoring the arcane runes and glittering jewels that line it, and instead studies the now empty dais and as a terrible certainty sets in, he turns to Father Tate.
GORDON
He has the staff.
TATE
...Can...Can you still stop him?
GORDON
No. Not like this.
Gordon removes his hand from inside his coat and opens it up revealing a horrific wound, a fatal wound, weeping blood from his side.
Father Tate goes wide-eyed at the injury, knowing full well what it means.
TATE
We have to go. We have to get you help.
GORDON
We won’t all make it. He’s too close.
At that, Aaron runs to the large double doors at the front and dares to peek his head out.
EXT. STREET -- DAY
There, at the end of the street, stands Brickhouse, only now his human form is quickly giving way to his true demonic visage. The skin has fallen away at the knuckles and elbows, allowing the razor sharp bones beneath to break free.
He finishes murdering the last of a group of UNIFORMED COPS by literally ripping him in half before sensing and turning back toward Aaron.
He smiles a hideous smile at our boy before discarding the poor cop’s lifeless corpse and retrieving his staff nearby.
And now slowly, methodically, he begins walking back to the museum.
INT. CITY MUSEUM, UBIQUITIES WING -- DAY
Aaron races back to Gordon and Father Tate, fear gripping him tight.
AARON
He’s coming. He’s coming for us all. What the hell are we supposed to do now?
Gordon turns back to Emmy now, seeing her pure, perfect beauty, knowing how much he loves her, how much the world will need her, and he makes his decision.
Even though it’s Father Tate who loses all hope first...
TATE
It’s not supposed to be this way. It’s not supposed to end like this.
...It’s Gordon who restores it.
GORDON
It’s not going to.
Quickly now, he moves with a purpose, reaching into his bag and handing Tate his last weapon, a pistol with two full magazines, and the keys to the car.
GORDON
(cont.)
Get her back to the car and get out of here. Find a place to hide somewhere, anywhere, and find a way to stop him. Find the hero she deserves.
AARON
And what about you?
GORDON
I’m only going to last five, maybe six, minutes so you need to make them count. Get as far away as you can, keep her safe.
(a beat)
I’m going to miss you. Both of you.
EMMY
(oc)
Wait...
They all turn to her, barely now aware that she had joined them, all still shocked at how quietly she moves.
EMMY
(cont.)
...What are you talking about?
And now the others get it. Tate and Aaron both stand stunned at Gordon’s choice and it’s a beat or two before:
TATE
No. Not like this.
Again, Gordon looks to Emmy and we can literally feel his heart swell with love.
GORDON
She’s the one that matters. She’s the one the world needs. They won’t even remember my name.
It’s now that Tate and Aaron realize just how right Gordon is. Aaron begins to cry silently while the stoic Father Tate hugs his “son” and cradles Gordon’s face in his hands.
TATE
You were the best of all of us. Don’t ever forget that.
GORDON
(fighting back tears)
Grab whatever you can, anything that will help. Go, now!
They follow their orders as Gordon moves to Emmy. He takes her by her hand, leading her away so the others can’t hear.
And Emmy being Emmy, fights him the whole way.
EMMY
Gordon, what...what’s going on? Why are they crying? What are you doing?
But he doesn’t answer, he can’t. Instead, he offers his sad, lonely smile...and, like the others, she knows in a flash.
EMMY
No. No! You’re not doing that. Not for me, I won’t let you. I’m not worth dying for.
GORDON
You’re the only thing worth dying for.
EMMY
I can stop you. You’re my best friend but I will fuck you up.
Again he smiles.
GORDON
I know you will, I know. But first, let me tell you something, okay? I love you, Emmy. From the very second I first saw you I knew that I was destined to spend my life loving you...and never having you. I’m going to go out there now...and he’s going to kill me, horribly, and the only thing I’ll be thinking of is you.
Again, Emmy’s body is wracked with sobs only this time it’s a billion times worse: she’s losing her entire world.
EMMY
Why didn’t you tell me before? I...I don’t want to do this without you.
GORDON
I know the world can be hard and mean and people can be awful to each other but that’s why they need you. To make things better, to make it right.
EMMY
(through her tears)
But I don’t want to watch you die.
GORDON
...Then don’t look.
And with that, he kisses her. Deeply, passionately, knowing that this will be his last moment of happiness. Ever.
Emmy’s shocked and shaken at first but, very quickly, she loses herself to the kiss, to the simple joy if it.
And in that moment, she finally understands just how much she loves Gordon Fry.
Finally, he releases her and:
GORDON
I will never leave you.
He moves away from her now, just as Father Tate and Aaron swoop in the take her away.
TATE
Come along now, we have to go.
Emmy wants to fight, to stay, but understands that she has to go so...
EMMY
(screams)
Gordon! I love you! I love you, Gordon! Can you hear me?! I love you...
Gordon smiles now as the sound of her voice echoes away. He’s waited for that his entire life.
GORDON
(a whisper)
Love you too...
EXT. CITY MUSEUM -- DAY
Gordon emerges into the bright sunlight and struggles to take in the carnage before him. He takes off his jacket, revealing once and for all the river of blood cascading down his side, and begins to move into the destruction when:
BRICKHOUSE
(oc)
You truly are beautiful.
Gordon turns, instantly on the defensive, to find Brickhouse standing nearby, studying one of his victim he’s carefully splayed out like a fish.
BRICKHOUSE
(cont.)
On the outside, your kind is hideous and wrong. But inside, it’s almost too stunning to take. If I could weep, it would be because of this.
He holds up his blood covered like one would a newly acquired Picasso.
And now as the two opponents speak, they make their way to the middle of the street until they’re dead center across from each other.
BRICKHOUSE
Where’s the girl?
GORDON
Hopefully speeding away from here.
BRICKHOUSE
You know that won’t be enough. You know I’ll find her.
GORDON
I know...but I’ll still slow you down.
Brickhouse smiles.
BRICKHOUSE
Yes, you will, won’t you? I’ve waited a long time for you, did you know that? The one human in all of historythat could actually stand in my way. I mean, look what you did...
He shows us the side of his head, showing off the grotesque wound Gordon caused earlier.
BRICKHOUSE
(cont.)
I have to admit, you’ve actually made me...happy. So I will grant you one favor: if you tell me where she is here and now, I promise that you’ll be together again very soon. But if you don’t I swear that her suffering will be legendary, her screams will echo for all time, and it will be all your fault.
And that’s all it takes...
GORDON
(screams)
You’re never going to touch her!!
...to launch Gordon into his attack.
Brickhouse meets the assault head on and the final battle begins. The fight is brutal and horrific, ten times worse than anything we’ve seen before with Gordon throwing everything he has at Brickhouse who, despite taking more than a few solid shots, manages to simply shrug most of it off.
Brickhouse retaliates now, causing massive devastation to Gordon’s body; his knuckles punching holes and his elbows carving canyons.
Gordon screams in agony, enduring a pain we can’t even begin to imagine...but he never once stops. He’s back on his feet using every ounce of martial skill he possess to batter back at his foe.
And even though Gordon manages to rip the massive head wound open once more, it’s just not enough. Brickhouse counters by grabbing hold of Gordon and plunging his fingers into the wound on his side.
Our boy howls once more but is cut short when Brickhouse lands a massive blow that sends Gordon flying across the street.
Gordon slams into the side of a police cruiser, the vehicle’s windows exploding on impact.
On the ground, Gordon is wracked with pain, his entire body trembling. Finally, he catches a glimpse of slim hope.
GORDON’S POV: There just beyond the approaching Brickhouse, stands the staff. It’s embedded in the ground, standing upright like the sword in the stone.
ON Gordon as, desperate and with death closing in, he begins to crawl, even reaching out from this distance to try and make it...but its not going to happen.
We watch now as Gordon is ripped up off the ground by Brickhouse who simply holds Gordon aloft like a petulant child, as he kicks and thrashes and struggles to break free.
Brickhouse can’t help but admire the courage of this man but he is what he is and now we suffer through the sight of Brickhouse slamming his fist into Gordon’s stomach over and over. It’s horrifying to watch as Gordon’s body quakes with each impact, with each sickening crack of muscle and bone.
And now, finally, we watch as Brickhouse rears back and slams his fist into Gordon’s body one last time, hitting him so hard that the bone spikes of his knuckles actually erupt out of Gordon’s back in a shower of blood and gore.
Gordon lies dead, impaled on Brickhouse’s massive fist, as the beast examines his lifeless form. Satisfied, Brickhouse releases Gordon’s body and tosses him away, sending him flying like a rag doll.
And as Gordon’s massacred form lies motionless on the ground, Brickhouse retrieves his staff and moves off after a defenseless and doomed Emmy.
FADE TO BLACK
July 21st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
John:
Interesting idea. I’m wondering…is this challenge more of an example of how hard it is to find a good superhero script? Meaning, if you talk to most fans of superhero movies, one of the things they complain about most is the camp aspect. Movies like The Dark Knight and Iron Man are few and far between. Most of the superhero movies being written today sound more like these, with dialogue like, “You Fiend!” or “Freeze! Or else!”
I think for most writers, it’s hard to get away from this.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Hi, just a little something called Super Fight.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM – DAY
The sidewalk is filled with straphangers and passersby. The wall of the Museum suddenly explodes outward, causing screams and panic.
As the dust settles a large figure appears in the jagged hole. Out of the shadows comesBRICKHOUSE,
a six foot, six inch mass of metal and muscle, who strides triumphantly from the rubble. In his hand is a gold staff with intricate designs reminiscent of ancient times.BRICKHOUSE
Finally. The last piece. Now the world will tremble at my feet.
He moves quickly to the street where a large RV awaits.INSIDE THE RV
a henchman shifts into gear and squeals out into traffic. He flicks a switch on the dash and the RV morphs into a flying fortress while onlookers rub their eyes in disbelief.
Sirens fill the air as the craft rises above the crowds.HENCHMAN
Clock work. Just like you said.BRICKHOUSE
Of course.
Admiring his flexible metal armor, he removes sections from the staff and places them in specially designed containers.HENCHMAN
Uh, oh.BRICKHOUSE
What!HENCHMAN
It’s Silver Streak. Engaging evasion maneuvering.IN THE SKY AHEAD
a glowing figure glides effortlessly towards them. He comes to a halt as the RV begins to fire mini rockets at him.SILVER STREAK
Why always the hard way?
The rockets converge on him and he merely floats, waiting. They explode all around him, obscuring him from view. The RV then makes a sharp turn and fires smoke from its rear pipes.
In the midst of the explosions, Silver Streak glows brighter, and absorbs the shrapnel and fire.SILVER STREAK (CONT’D)
I guess they don’t watch the news.
He then takes off in the direction of the smoke trail. He rises above the level of the smoke and dives towards the RV.INSIDE
the henchman views a radar screen and fires a net towards our hero. He speeds up but is halted as the net touches him and releases a huge electric shock.
It only halts him for a second. His eyes glow brighter and the net is disintegrated.HENCHMAN
Crap. What is this guy?
His answer comes quickly as our hero accelerates quickly and smashes into the side of the vehicle. He tears through the side a knife through butter and emerges out the other side.BRICKHOUSE
Why that.. this thing cost me a fortune.
The vehicle sputters and begins to plummet.BELOW ON THE STREET
pedestrians and drivers begin to run away from the carnage. Moments later, the RV hits the ground with a shudder. The henchman pulls himself from the rubble.
BrickHouse bursts from the wreckage as our hero dives straight towards him. They meet in mid-air, the concussion bursts out windows.
BrickHouse recovers first and fires laser blasts from his epaulets, striking our hero center mass and sending him reeling into the side of a building.SECONDS LATER
he emerges from the debris, eyes glowing white.SILVER STREAK
Is that all you’ve got?
He fires a ball of light from his hands that explodes brilliantly around BrickHouse who drops from the sky in a heap, smashing through a car roof. He recovers quickly.BRICKHOUSE
Is that all YOU’VE got?
Silver Streak merely glares, eyes glowing. BrickHouse zooms towards him and our hero braces and swings. He connects exactly to the villain’s chest, driving him back and shattering his armor plating.SILVER STREAK
How’s that?
BrickHouse sails into a window and out the other side of the building. Our hero follows and spots BrickHouse. His armor shattered, he hits a switch and the non-shattered pieces retract revealing a small man with horn-rimmed spectacles.BRICKHOUSE
Fool. Do you know what you’ve done?SILVER STREAK
Uhh, saved a bunch of people from a maniac maybe?BRICKHOUSE
No, without my armor I can’t control the reaction.SILVER STREAK
Geez, you villains always do that. What’s that about?
With that our hero streaks back towards the wrecked RV which has begun to vibrate apart. The containers begin to rise from the wreckage and glow with tremendous heat.
He flies quickly towards them and his hands flash with power. He floats in front of them and a ball of energy emanates from his hands and engulfs the containers, blocks the heat.
He flies under it and flies towards the sky.IN THE STREET
pedestrians follow the glowing figure towards the heavens. Eventually he turns into a dot and the sky brightens with a tremendous explosion that spreads for miles.MOMENTS LATER
our hero returns to view and lands near BrickHouse.BRICKHOUSE
I hate you. It was my time.SILVER STREAK
It’s still your time. For jail.
Police officers make their way through the crowd and approach the pair with guns drawn.OFFICER
Thanks. We’ll take it from here.
The officers grab the villain and cuff him. Silver Streak does what the does best, streaks off into the rising night.FADE OUT
July 21st, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Superheroes are melodramatic by their nature. Good or bad, they are still ridiculous. Iron Man and The Dark Knight are still pretty far off from Citizen Kane. Even those pieces are rife with both melodramatic and expository dialog, and tons of bizarre situations — especially during battle scenes. But superheroes stories are by their nature unrealistic and overwrought. TDK, Iron Man and other good superhero fare is better because their plots are coherent, the characterizations are strong, and the absurd situations and lines are well directed and acted (and made to feel natural to the world being created, even though they’re silly in our world).
July 21st, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Crap. I knew I should have tested first. Feel free to delete the jumble of cinematic wonder.
July 21st, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I guess I’m too used to HTML syntax. I tested and it looks like scrippets can’t handle secondary slug lines. Sorry. I can’t do without them.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM – DAY
The sidewalk is filled with straphangers and passersby. The wall of the Museum suddenly explodes outward, causing screams and panic.
As the dust settles a large figure appears in the jagged hole. Out of the shadows comesBRICKHOUSE,
a six foot, six inch mass of metal and muscle, strides triumphantly from the rubble. In his hand is a gold staff with intricate designs reminiscent of ancient times.BRICKHOUSE
Finally. The last piece. Now the world will tremble at my feet.
He moves quickly to the street where a large RV awaits.INSIDE THE RV
a henchman shifts into gear and squeals out into traffic. He flicks a switch on the dash and the RV morphs into a flying fortress while onlookers rub their eyes in disbelief.
Sirens fill the air as the craft rises above the crowds.HENCHMAN
Clock work. Just like you said.BRICKHOUSE
Of course.
Admiring his flexible metal armor, he removes sections from the staff and places them in specially designed containers.HENCHMAN
Uh, oh.BRICKHOUSE
What!HENCHMAN
It’s Silver Streak. Engaging evasion maneuvering.IN THE SKY AHEAD
a glowing figure glides effortlessly towards them. He comes to a halt as the RV begins to fire mini rockets at him.SILVER STREAK
Why always the hard way?
The rockets converge on him and he merely floats, waiting. They explode all around him, obscuring him from view. The RV then makes a sharp turn and fires smoke from its rear pipes.
In the midst of the explosions, Silver Streak glows brighter, and absorbs the shrapnel and fire.SILVER STREAK (CONT’D)
I guess they don’t watch the news.
He then takes off in the direction of the smoke trail. He rises above the level of the smoke and dives towards the RV.INSIDE
the henchman views a radar screen and fires a net towards our hero. He speeds up but is halted as the net touches him and releases a huge electric shock.
It only halts him for a second. His eyes glow brighter and the net is disintegrated.HENCHMAN
Crap. What is this guy?
His answer comes quickly as our hero accelerates quickly and smashes into the side of the vehicle. He tears through the side a knife through butter and emerges out the other side.BRICKHOUSE
Why that.. this thing cost me a fortune.
The vehicle sputters and begins to plummet.BELOW ON THE STREET
pedestrians and drivers begin to run away from the carnage. Moments later, the RV hits the ground with a shudder. The henchman pulls himself from the rubble.
BrickHouse bursts from the wreckage as our hero dives straight towards him. They meet in mid-air, the concussion bursts out windows.
BrickHouse recovers first and fires laser blasts from his epaulets, striking our hero center mass and sending him reeling into the side of a building.SECONDS LATER
he emerges from the debris, eyes glowing white.SILVER STREAK
Is that all you’ve got?
He fires a ball of light from his hands that explodes brilliantly around BrickHouse who drops from the sky in a heap, smashing through a car roof. He recovers quickly.BRICKHOUSE
Is that all YOU’VE got?
Silver Streak merely glares, eyes glowing. BrickHouse zooms towards him and our hero braces and swings. He connects exactly to the villain’s chest, driving him back and shattering his armor plating.SILVER STREAK
How’s that?
BrickHouse sails into a window and out the other side of the building. Our hero follows and spots BrickHouse. His armor shattered, he hits a switch and the non-shattered pieces retract revealing a small man with horn-rimmed spectacles.BRICKHOUSE
Fool. Do you know what you’ve done?SILVER STREAK
Uhh, saved a bunch of people from a maniac maybe?BRICKHOUSE
No, without my armor I can’t control the reaction.SILVER STREAK
Geez, you villains always do that. What’s that about?
With that our hero streaks back towards the wrecked RV which has begun to vibrate apart. The containers begin to rise from the wreckage and glow with tremendous heat.
He flies quickly towards them and his hands flash with power. He floats in front of them and a ball of energy emanates from his hands and engulfs the containers, blocks the heat.
He flies under it and flies towards the sky.IN THE STREET
pedestrians follow the glowing figure towards the heavens. Eventually he turns into a dot and the sky brightens with a tremendous explosion that spreads for miles.MOMENTS LATER
our hero returns to view and lands near BrickHouse.BRICKHOUSE
I hate you. It was my time.SILVER STREAK
It’s still your time. For jail.
Police officers make their way through the crowd and approach the pair with guns drawn.OFFICER
Thanks. We’ll take it from here.
The officers grab the villain and cuff him. Silver Streak does what the does best, streaks off into the rising night.FADE OUT
July 21st, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Stephan,
While I can concede that Superheroes can be melodramatic, I still think that the dialogue can be crisp, original, and exciting. If you read X-Men from the 60’s and then read X-Men from the 90’s, the writing is obviously very differnt, contemporary and well…good.
July 21st, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Kevin,
People with superpowers running around in weird outfits, having outrageous battles and love triangles, seems the height of melodrama to me. Even if the writing isn’t outright campy, and the storylines are contemporary and topical. Something can be good and still be ridiculous. Just like the ancient myths that these stores are riffing on. I feel that by their extreme nature, Gods and Superheroes operate at a different level of drama. Such stories are always going to be unrealistic, even if the writing is updated for more contemporary tastes. Even the much lauded Watchmen is campy in places, and overwrought in others. But it’s still interesting. And that’s ok with me.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Here goes. I avoided reading the others till I had my concept down. Really like a lot of what’s here.
I’ve got an origin back story in my head but tried to minimize it so as to focus on action, and assume the scene works as an excerpt from a bigger story where more would be revealed.
Thanks John for the opportunity – this is fun.
FADE IN:
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A back alley: dumpsters, steel doors, alley cats. Perched on the shallow sill of a window, a huddled silhoette.
The glass shudders silently.
The silhoette rouses from sleep; it’s CHASE (17). He looks homeless, shrouded in layers of old clothes. He eyes the window: a light plays across it from inside.
He lays a hand on the brick wall, closes his eyes. His lids jump like REM. His teeth GRIND.
CHASE
Crap.
KAWHOOM! The wall EXPLODES, taking the window and Chase with it. A bloom of dust and smoke fill the alley.
Out of the gaping hole steps a dump truck of a man, BRICKHOUSE. An easy eight feet tall, muscles on muscles. Skin like tanned leather drawn over unnaturally angular features that frame small darting black eyes.
In one hand, a five foot staff: gleaming silver and gold, obscure engraving, mechanical and organic all at once. It looks tiny in his massive grip.
Somewhere a CAR ALARM whoops. There’s an almost imperceptible WHIR as he turns his head, scanning the alley.
The alarm stops. It’s QUIET. He shifts to move, then:
The CLATTER of tumbling bricks. He freezes.
CHASE (CONT’D – O.S.)
About time.
Brickhouse heaves about. Chase stands on a pile of loose masonry, dusting off his tattered sleeves.
BRICKHOUSE
You?
Chase looks up from under a knotted brow.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
You died with your father.
CHASE
You missed.
BRICKHOUSE
Not this time.
He LEAPS, way too high for a guy his size, staff poised to skewer Chase like raw meat. The alley SHUDDERS with his landing. Chase is gone.
Brickhouse ROARS, SLAMS the building with a fist.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Die like your father, boy!
CHASE (O.S.)
I’m nothing like my father.
BRICKHOUSE snaps his head up. Chase is overhead, on the fire escape, scrambling higher.
BRICKHOUSE jams the staff into his belt, lunges onto the bottom landing. The platform sags: bolts fail under his weight, steel SCREAMS with fatigue. He grips the staircase above, yanks it from the wall, shakes it like a rattle.
CHASE struggles to hang on as the staircase SLAMS against one wall, then the other, debris raining down. On the third slam he leaps to the opposite wall, grabs a downspout, clambers toward the roof.
BRICKHOUSE ROARS, leaps to the far wall, PUNCHES his fists through the bricks, pulls himself up, following Chase. SMASH, PULL, SMASH, PULL. SIRENS wail their approach in the distance.
He pulls himself up over the edge, stands. KRASH! A huge HVAC unit hits him square, sends him reeling as it caroms off the edge and into the street. Traffic SQUEALS to a stop below as he grabs a bundle of power cords to stop himself. Sparks cascade down the front of the building. Lights go out.
He rises to his feet. Spotlights wash over him. He looks up at the THWUP THWUP THWUP of a police chopper, then down again.
CHASE stands, arms outstretched, face twisted with effort. A huge ventilator unit hangs in the air over his head. He throws his arms at Brickhouse – the unit follows, hurtling through the air.
BRICKHOUSE catches the steel box in both arms, stumbles back, bent under the weight. He recovers, glances at the chopper, catapults the steel mass right at it.
THE PILOT dips to avoid, but too late – the cube shears the rotor off. The blades machete through the air leaving the chassis spinning toward the
STREET; cops leap behind their cars, the gathering crowd SCREAMS and scatters.
CHASE is on one knee, drained. He forces himself up, reaches out at the spinning chopper. Knuckles go white, fingers curl into shaking hooks.
BELOW, the whirling aircraft slows, stops, hangs over the heads of the scattering throng. The crew leap to the roofs of cars, scramble to the ground.
CHASE grimaces, drips sweat.
WHUMP! BRICKHOUSE tackles him from behind and they curve off the precipice, through the still air.
THE CHOPPER drops to the ground, crushing the cars.
BRICKHOUSE and CHASE SMASH into the glass facade of the opposite building, shards exploding as they tumble down its face, SLAMMING onto a window washer’s platform.
Brickhouse raises a fist over Chase, then pauses, listening. The platform GROANS.
SNAP! The cables fail, SNICKERING into the night as the scaffold DROPS.
They tumble through space, CRASH onto the smoking fuselage, folding it in half.
Brickhouse on top, one massive hand on the boy’s chest, the other raised in a fist the size of a basketball.
Chase raises his hands against the giant’s chest, but he’s spent.
BRICKHOUSE
Your magic fails you, boy.
CHASE
There is no magic.
Brickhouse slowly opens his fist, reaches behind, pulls out the staff, holds it high.
BRICKHOUSE
Then what is this?
CHASE
Like you and me. Not magic. Just science out of time.
BRICKHOUSE
Here, it’s magic all the same.
THE SWAT TEAM surrounds the pair, arsenal poised.
SWAT COMMANDER
Drop your weapon!
Brickhouse SNAPS his wrist. The staff COCKS like a shotgun. An electric WHINE keens through the air.
BAM BAM BAM BAM! The cops UNLOAD their clips, a hundred rounds or more.
The bullets STOP – suspended in a shimmering sphere around Brickhouse and Chase like flecks in a snow globe.
The slugs drift, gaining speed in a spinning whorl, drawn to the head of the staff. Papers swirl from the street, pirouette around them.
Brickhouse folds, origami drawn into a singularity, bending in on himself as the sphere contracts.
Chase BELLOWS, pushes against the air with one final gut wrenching effort.
Brickhouse LAUNCHES into the air, his black eyes gleaming over a jagged grin as they disappear in the pleats of his face, the sphere rippling and collapsing and folding into nothing with a KRAK and a FLASH like LIGHTNING!
Silence. The papers drift to the ground.
The SWAT team is stunned; then with a CLATTER of weaponry, they retrain their sites on Chase.
SWAT COMMANDER
Where is he? Where’d he go?
Chase stands, palms out in apparent surrender.
CHASE
Forward.
SWAT COMMANDER
What’s that mean?
CHASE
Home.
His fingers curl like rigor.
CHASE (CONT’D)
To get more magic.
July 21st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
EXT. OUTSIDE THE MUSEUM – MORNING
With his head held high, Brickhouse slowly walks out off the museum with the Staff in his hands.
The skies turns white and bright.
Brickhouse isn’t afraid, he’s waiting, watching the skies waiting confidently.
Then suddenly as a long stream of light, Brighton bursts down in to the ground leaving two holes perfectly rounding his feet.BRIGHTON
Don’t do it, Brett!BRICKHOUSE
Brett died many years ago, I’m Brickhouse.BRIGHTON
All my life I’ve known you..
(beat)
You are not this kind of person.BRICKHOUSE
Yes, I am.
Brickhouse takes up a red triangle formed crystal from his pockets.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Always has been..
He places the crystal on top of the staff and smiles.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Always will be!
He takes the staff and holds it up, pointing it at the white skies.BRIGHTON
Thousands off people will die.BRICKHOUSE
That’s the point brother.
The skies turns from white and bright too grey and dark.
People start running and screaming as rain starts falling down, it’s total chaos.
Brighton looks at it all with huge terror, he is afraid.
Suddenly a lightning bolt hits the staff and smashes the crystal into hundreds of little pieces, Brickhouse flies backwards onto the doors behind him.
Brighton runs up the stairs and looks at Brickhouse as he raises up again.BRIGHTON
Brett, what have you done?BRICKHOUSE
My name is Brickhouse!
Brickhouse suddenly starts too rapidly grow higher and bigger.
Brighton backs up down the stairs, backwards watching Brickhouse with fear.
Brickhouse’s head smashes through the small sunroof outside the museum.
Brighton looks around him, the streets are empty.
Brick house continue to grow higher and higher, bigger and bigger.
Finally he stops as evil, dark laughter fills the streets.
He is as big as ten busses stacked on top of each other front’s up.
His voice is dark and terrifying, like an amplifier turned up as high as it gets, not even jet’s could out drown his voice.
Brighton looks around him for a place to hide, then he sees a street light about 10 meters away.
He starts running towards it.
He is rapidly approaching the light when suddenly Brickhouse’s huge hand, the size of a Hummer comes out in front of him, knocking the street light away.
Brighton then looks up at Brickhouse who looks down at him.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
I’ll give you one last chance too go back to where you came from..BRIGHTON
You know I won’t do that, I am here to protect the people of earth.
Brickhouse shakes his head.BRICKHOUSE
Then I am sorry.
Brickhouse lifts his hand up in the air ready too strike down at Brighton.
Brighton looks around him, there is only open street and no where too hide, he is screwed and he knows it.
He looks up at Brickhouse who is ready too strike.
Brickhouse looks down at him almost with petty in his eyes..
Is he having second thoughts?
Then Brickhouse starts screaming.
Then out of nowhere a voice is heard,KUDOS (O.S.)
Over here!
Brighton turns around too see Kudos on the roof of a building with a searchlight pointing at him.
Brighton smiles.
Kudos turns on the light and in a blink of an eye Brighton disappears.
Brickhouse reaches the tip off his screams and throws down his fist in the ground.
Brickhouse looks down at his fist with anger.
The whole ground is covered with the light from the roof.BRICKHOUSE
Wherever you are hiding Brighton, I will find you!
Brickhouse lifts his fist from the ground, leaving a big hole.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
You have to come out of the lights sooner or later.
Close up of Brickhouse’s face, his angry eyes.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
And when you do I’ll be waiting.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:05 pm
“Really like a lot of what’s here.” I mean, a lot of what others have already posted… good stuff! And some inevitable common themes…
July 21st, 2009 at 5:12 pm
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – 1983 – NIGHT
BRICKHOUSE bursts through the revolving door in a casual strut; glass shatters and the thick brass crumples like cardboard. In the crook of one tree-trunk arm dangles an unconscious JOHN JOHNSON, the museum’s ancient night watchman.
Once the dust settles, the street is eerily silent. The flashing lights from the police barricade suggest great activity, but no one on the all-white police force stirs -- John’s Caucasian Stasis Field is still in full effect.
Brickhouse pauses. Picks her afro. Spits some acid through the face of a white marble lion statue.
BRICKHOUSE
Honky-ass lion bitch.
In total silence she descends the museum stairs, strutting to a slap-bassline that only she can hear.
John Johnson stirs, opens his eyes, takes in the scene.
JOHN JOHNSON
(weak)
I’ve been a damn fool. Your time is over, Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
I am an African queen, baby. And long may I reign.
She reaches the police barricade and approaches the paralyzed CHIEF O’GRADY. She gets down in his face -- her head is bigger than his torso, even without her hairdo.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Gentrify this, Chief Cracka.
His eyes go wide with fear as she raises her fist...
THWWIP! An extra-long double-dutch rope catches her around the wrist.
GIRL (O.S.)
You wanna pick on a honky?
Holding the other end of the rope is... SWEET BABY TAMARA (15, pigtails) -- she came back!!
SWEET BABY TAMARA
Well then pick on half of me... ‘cause that honky’s my daddy!
A tear of joy runs down Chief O’Grady’s cheek.
Sweet Baby Tamara flicks her rope and CRACKLING ELECTRICITY surges into Brickhouse.
SWEET BABY TAMARA (CONT’D)
Kiss my mulatto thunder!
Brickhouse drops to her knees, lightning bolts arcing across her body. Under her arm, John Johnson SCREAMS and CONVULSES.
JOHN JOHNSON
(gasping)
It’s working! It’s working!
Tamara hesitates. She’s killing John.
JOHN JOHNSON (CONT’D)
It’s okay, darlin’. It’s my time.
And for the first time since he climbed into that Nubian sarcophagus, the old man believes it.
Tamara nods. Turns up the juice. John’s body tenses up. And then releases. He hangs there, peacefully.
...And Brickhouse STANDS BACK UP.
BRICKHOUSE
Dumb ass half-cracka.
She tugs on the jumprope. Tamara falls to the floor, and the rope flies from her hands.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
That’s right, you better bow to your queen. You think a bug zapper’s gonna save your oreo ass?
SWEET BABY TAMARA
No. But the cops might.
From everywhere comes the sound of A HUNDRED GUNS COCKING.
Brickhouse whirls around. Killing John broke his stasis field!
CHIEF O’GRADY
Lads? Open fire.
A HAIL OF GUNFIRE. Brickhouse swats bullets away like gnats. She flips a tank through the barricade, mowing down a wide swath of cops.
A SNIPER fires on her from a window 20 stories up. Brickhouse turns, and Chief O’Grady lobs a GRENADE at her head. Without looking back she catches it one-handed, and tosses it with pinpoint accuracy through the sniper’s window. She follows it up with a spat wad of acid. The grenade EXPLODES, launching the sniper out the window and straight into the flying acid. He’s dissolved before he hits the ground.
She uproots two PARKING METERS, leaps ten feet into the air, and slams them down onto a police car, which EXPLODES. Bodies fly everywhere.
BRICKHOUSE
Ha ha! It’s rainin’ men!
Tamara is blown backward by the explosion.
CHIEF O’GRADY
Tamara!
O’Grady runs to her. Brickhouse sees him and hurls one of her parking meters like a spear. He swerves, but it plunges pole-end through his shoulder and into the concrete steps, pinning him.
Bullets PINGING off her back, Brickhouse pimp-walks toward O’Grady. Her afro IGNITES into a halo of black flames.
BRICKHOUSE
Get down before your flaming black goddess.
She reaches him. She lifts a platformed heel to the parking meter. Slowly, she presses it deeper into the ground. O’Grady SCREAMS as it slides through his shoulder.
THOOM! THOOM! THOOM!
ALEX (O.S.)
Chief!
ALEX and MURRAY, the rookies, come tearing up the sidewalk in a MOTORCYCLE and SIDECAR. Murray fires round after round from a sawed-off shotgun.
MURRAY
We’re gonna save you, Chief!
CHIEF O’GRADY
No!
They hit a jump. SLOW-MO as they fly straight toward Brickhouse’s face, firing...
Then WHAM, Brickhouse lifts her hand to her nose a-la the Three Stooges, splitting the motorcycle and sidecar in two. Alex and Murray fly off comically.
ALEX & MURRAY
HUAAAAAA!
Brickhouse turns back to O’Grady. She’s pressed the parking meter almost completely into the ground. Her enormous foot is about to crush his chest.
BRICKHOUSE
Any last words, chief?
He coughs a little blood.
CHIEF O’GRADY
(strained whisper)
Disco’s dead.
Brickhouse laughs.
Then, the sound of an ENORMOUS SPEAKER CLICKING ON.
Brickhouse turns. Tamara’s standing next to the thrown TANK, now flipped on its side. She speaks into the tank’s PA:
SWEET BABY TAMARA
Long live the ‘80s, motha fucka.
She reaches into the cockpit and fires. The round hits Brickhouse square in the chest. SLOW-MO as the impact sends ripples through her enormous breasts. The blow throws her backward, up the steps and through the wall of the museum, which EXPLODES.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:05 pm
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Surrounded by disposable cameras on pedestals and last generations iPods, BRICKHOUSE stands in the middle of the rotunda, a beam of moonlight shines down through the hole in the ceiling where Brickhouse made his entrance. Grasped tightly in his hands is the Smokey Quartz Staff, the sharp point aimed directly at his heart.
He’s about the thrust the staff into his heart when a gameboy is hurled from the darkness and knocks the staff across the room. VINCENT steps into the moonlight. His sleek figure slides into viewVINCENT
I know what you’re trying to do.
Brickhouse takes a step back. Discreetly surveying the floor for the fallen staff.VINCENT (CONT’D)
You’re wasting your time. It wont work.BRICKHOUSE
Then why are you here?VINCENT
Why are YOU here? Why did you choose this place?BRICKHOUSE
I thought no one would look for me here. Like the items within it, this building has been ignored ever since the new one opened up across town. I hear they have a Pogs exhibit there.VINCENT
No kiddin’.
Brickhouse spots the staff amidst a pile of AOL CD’S.
He lunges for it, taking vincent by surprise.
Brickhouse lands on top of the staff. Vincent races towards him, but is suddenly pelted with a flying AOL disc. Brickhouse stands with the staff in hand, hundreds of AOL discs skewered onto it. He slides another disc off the staff and wings it across the room. Vincent quickly side steps, but the disc slices into his arm. He takes a deep breath and charges with full speed. Brickhouse begins to hurl the discs, one after another.
Each disc cuts away at Vincent. Vincent is still charging and Brickhouse is now out of discs. He holds the staff out at full length, Vincent slams the brakes. His chest stops within an inch of the staff’s sharp quartz tip.VINCENT (CONT’D)
Why are you doing this?BRICKHOUSE
I plan to give back what has been dumped on me. No one in this world is feeling anything anymore. I swoop in and make sure their precious hearts can handle the world they chose to live in. I’m sick of it.VINCENT
If you leave, this world is going to be in a heap of trouble. Don’t be the villain, just do your job.BRICKHOUSE
I’ve been doing this job for a hundred years now. I can’t handle it anymore.VINCENT
Of course you can, that’s why you’re The Brickhouse.BRICKHOUSE
Aren’t you ever curious? To know what it’s really like? How about you step into the shoes of a hero for a while.
Vincent thinks for a moment.VINCENT
What’s the world really like?BRICKHOUSE
Are you ready for that responsibility? There is a lot of pain out there. And the job uniform isn’t exactly the greatest.
Vincent looks over Brickhouse. His brick red colored skin, tough, impenetrable. The perfect casing for pain.VINCENT
How long?BRICKHOUSE
A bicentennial. Or until someone like you comes along.
VINCENT
BRICKHOUSE
Every second of every day. It’s either that, or watch our world go into chaos.EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A burst of red light beams out the hole in the celing. The windows of the building shimmer. Every thing falls dark and silent. A moment pass. Vincent walks out the front door. He brushes the red dust and rock off his big chest and shoulders.
A police cruiser pulls up to the curb. The officer leans out the window.OFFICER
Are you The Brickhouse?
Vincent looks at his now brick red arms.VINCENT
Yes, I am.OFFICER
Come with us please. Just got a call of a mother who lost her two sons in war. You’re needed.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:54 pm
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY
Two dozen police cruisers SKID into place. OFFICERS exit the vehicles and find cover, guns aimed at...
EXT. THE MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
...as the doors are KICKED from their hinges and go tumbling down the front steps. Then...
...Brickhouse steps out, raises the ancient staff over his head, and SCREAMS:
BRICKHOUSE
The ultimate power is mine!
CLOSE ON: a YOUNG OFFICER, GULPING back fear.
YOUNG OFFICER
Screw this.
He tosses his gun and takes off running down Richland Street.
The rest of the Officers stand their ground when...
A SUPERHERO
...comes flying out of the sky, headed for Brickhouse.
SUPERHERO
Not so fast!
ON BRICKHOUSE: as he aims the staff at our Superhero and POOF, a black gob of PLASMA SHOOTS from the ancient artifact...
...and engulfs the Superhero mid-air, sending him SLAMMING into a nearby SKYSCRAPER, pinning him down.
BRICKHOUSE
Fool! I alone know the secret of the old ones. And I alone harness their power. You will all bow and call me your king before the day is through.
ON OUR SUPERHERO: struggling to free himself from the glue-like substance holding him to the side of the structure.
SUPERHEO
Get me the hell outta here!
ON THE OFFICERS: frazzled, scared, and ready to run when...
...their CAPTAIN (50, Eastwood-cool) raises his gun and yells back to his men:
CAPTAIN
Let him have it!
The Officers open FIRE.
ON BRICKHOUSE: as he holds out the staff and chants:
BRICKHOUSE
Guard me great ones. Protect your messenger.
And it works. A BLACK BEAM emits from the staff and surrounds Brickhouse in a protective bubble. Bullets PING and SPARK off its bulletproof coating and some of the Officers are taken down as collateral damage.
ON THE CAPTAIN: sizing up his enemy, displeased with the results.
CAPTAIN
I knew we needed the military.
An Officer runs up to the Captain...
OFFICER
Our swat-tank is stuck in traffic.
CAPTAIN
I told ‘em not to take the bridge. Morons.
ON BRICKHOUSE: as his protective bubble SHRINKS back into the artifact and for a moment, all is peaceful. Then, our enemy aims the staff and a MASSIVE ball of FIRE builds at the end of it.
ON THE CAPTAIN: ready to go.
CAPTAIN (CONT’D)
Retreat!
The Captain runs. Every Officer follows. Our Superhero struggles. It looks grim. Then...
...the ball of fire shoots from the staff and BARRELS into the police cruisers, incinerating them on impact.
DOWN THE SIDEWALK: our real hero, CARTER (twenties, average) stands holding a cardboard box -- he’s still dressed in his LIGHTNING FAST MESSENGER uniform.
CARTER
This is insane. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
ANGELA CAMP (25, beautiful) hurries up to him and pulls her hair back in a pony tail.
ANGELA
Open the damn box already. We’ve only been carting it around for the last twenty-two hours, let’s see what’s in it.
Carter looks at Angela -- smitten, love-struck...
CARTER
Thanks for stickin’ with me Angie.
ANGELA
Later Romeo. We’re about to die here.
CARTER
(shaking it off)
Right. Sorry.
Carter kneels down and RIPS the box open.
ANGELA
What the hell is it?
CARTER
I don’t know. It’s...it’s...
Angela watches Brickhouse walk down the front steps of the museum, using the staff as a machine gun, taking out Officers and police cruisers with ease.
ANGELA
Well?
Carter tosses a handful of Styrofoam packing-peanuts aside and comes up wearing an impressive glove that goes up to his elbow. The glove is metallic, like a robotic forearm, and looks comical on Carter.
CARTER
It’s a glove.
ANGELA
Perfect. What the does it do?
CARTER
I don’t know. I didn’t ask for the damn package Angie. You were supposed to take it. I was covering your shift.
ANGELA
Well it’s yours now, so figure out what it means sci-fi boy.
Just then, the Swat-Tank rounds the corner and starts down the street, cannon aimed at Brickhouse.
CARTER
No need. They got him.
ON BRICKHOUSE: as he sees the tank and smiles.
BRICKHOUSE
Is that all you’ve got for me?
He aims the staff, FIRES, and destroys the tank -- BOOM!
ON CARTER AND ANGELA: diving behind some bushes as pieces of swat-tank land all around them. Angela is the first to stick her head up.
ANGELA
No, they don’t have him. It’s up to you Carter. Go for it!
Then, Carter rises from the bushes with a look of determination on his face.
CARTER
For you Angie. For you.
Carter takes a step, turns, and gives Angela a kiss. It lasts longer than she expected.
ANGELA
(pushing away)
Real smooth.
He gives her a wink and starts off down the street.
ANGELA (CONT’D)
(watching him go)
My hero.
EXT. THE MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Carter comes walking down the street with his gloved-hand raised and passes the Captain.
CAPTAIN
What are you doing?
CARTER
I have no idea.
He continues on, leaving the Captain confused.
CAPTAIN
Get back here. He’ll kill you.
CARTER
(as he goes)
Maybe. But if that’s my fate, so be it.
ON CARTER: as he approaches with a determined look in his eyes.
ON BRICKHOUSE: seeing Carter and stopping at the bottom step.
BRICKHOUSE
Are you serious?
Carter stands at the end of the walkway leading up to the museum, glove raised, trying to be strong.
CARTER
I’m here to put an end to your carnage Brickhouse. Surrender and I’ll spare your life.
ON OUR SUPERHERO: still stuck to the side of the building. The ancient goo starts burning through his suit and he rolls his eyes:
SUPERHERO
Come on kid. Leave this to the professionals.
ON BRICKHOUSE: as he aims the staff.
BRICKHOUSE
Goodbye false hero.
The staff FIRES a meteor-sized chunk of evil at Carter and just before it hits him, he raises the GLOVE and catches it.
Brickhouse goes wide-eyed, as does Carter...
...and Angela, and the Captain.
CAPTAIN
He just caught that friggin’ thing.
ON BRICKHOUSE: shocked, plays it cool.
BRICKHOUSE
Not bad wimp. Not bad at all.
Carter pulls the fireball back and smiles:
CARTER
Wimp this.
He tosses the fireball and Brickhouse dives out of the way just in time. It destroys the museum steps as Brickhouse aims and FIRES another ball of chaos.
Carter catches this one with ease and tosses it back.
INTERCUT BRICKHOUSE AND CARTER:
Running along, tossing fireballs back and forth in an extreme tennis match from hell.
ON THE CAPTAIN: watching them barrel toward him, destroying everything in sight.
CAPTAIN
Save yourselves.
The Officer nearby panics and takes off.
OFFICER
(as he goes)
We’re all gonna die!
AT THE END OF THE STREET
Carter catches a fireball and tosses it back. Then another. They land on either side of Brickhouse, who SCREAMS in agony as part of his leg is struck.
CARTER
Got-ya that time tough guy.
Bad choice of words. Brickhouse simply kneels, holds the staff in front of him, and five BLACK FIREBALLS appear.
BRICKHOUSE
For my enemy.
ON CARTER: wide-eyed, losing his cool.
CARTER
That’s not good.
Suddenly, the five FIREBALLS take off for Carter and he rolls over the hood of a police cruiser and starts running.
CARTER (CONT’D)
Not good.
The cruiser EXPLODES behind him as he runs, trying like hell to avoid being hit as the fireballs land all around him.
BOOM – BOOM – BOOM!
CARTER (CONT’D)
Not good – not good – not good – not good.
He finally catches a FIREBALL, tosses it back without looking, and it hits a sewer grate leaving a MASSIVE HOLE at the curb.
BRICKHOUSE
OOOH. So close.
Carter trips and rolls as two fireballs fall straight for him.
CARTER (CONT’D)
Shiiiiiiiiiiii--
ON BRICKHOUSE: taking a breather.
BRICKHOUSE
Deal with that.
Then, a FIREBALL appears in the smoke above him. He sees it a second too late and it lands ten feet away -- BOOM.
The impact sends Brickhouse FLYING and he lands in the hole at the sewer grate, falling into the cavern below the street.
The Officers see this and stop. The Captain comes back. Brickhouse is gone.
ON ANGELA: smiling in approval.
ANGELA
I knew he could do it.
ON BRICKHOUSE: as he falls through darkness and lands in the sewer below – SPLASH. After a moment, the staff lands on his chest.
BRICKHOUSE
(laughing)
It’s gonna take more than that to being me down!
BRICKHOUSE’S POV: Carter appears at the opening of the hole in the street, smiling like a maniac, revealing he’s holding the last FIREBALL.
CARTER
How ‘bout this...WIMP!
He TOSSES the fireball down with everything he’s got.
CLOSE ON BRICKHOUSE: as he watches the fireball fall toward him.
BRICKHOUSE
I can’t believe I lost.
The staff starts to GLOW with a GOLDEN HUE as the FIREBALL TOUCHES DOWN AND BOOM...
EXT. THE MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
...the EXPLOSION opens the ground and the entire museum falls into the street and we...
SLAM TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
EXT. THE REMAINS OF THE MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
As the Officer’s survey the carnage -- the entire street is destroyed.
ON CARTER: walking from the smoke, still wearing the glove, as Angela runs up and falls into his arms.
ANGELA
Not bad.
They kiss.
SUPERHERO (O.S.)
Good work my friend.
Carter and Angela separate and see the Superhero standing next to them.
CARTER
Thanks.
SUPERHERO
We could use someone like you on our team. If you’re interested.
Carter looks at Angela, then back to the Superhero.
CARTER
I think I have all the excitement I need right here.
Angela smiles. Carter hands the amazing glove to the Superhero.
SUPERHERO
(taking the glove)
You’re a hero. You know that right?
CARTER
I do now.
The Superhero and Carter shake hands as...
INT. SEWER – PILE OF RUBBLE – DAY
...we find the ancient staff lying in the sewer. Glowing. Waiting. Then...
Brickhouse PUNCHES through the rubble, grabs it, and LAUGHS.
CUT TO BLACK:
THE END
July 21st, 2009 at 9:16 pm
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
And BRICKHOUSE, our villain, is lucky it’s night -- no humans to contend with. POP! A tiny spark in the center of the museum and Brickhouse instantly appears from another dimension. This effect is so simple and primitive it could be from 1985, but it’s clean, elegant, and will be inexpensive...until they hire a director.
Brickhouse, so aptly named, is 14 feet tall with a torso that looks twice the size of what his legs could carry. Ripped, chiseled, but with curly blonde hair that falsely allays our fears.
He’s up to no good as he swings a massive roundhouse punch at a glass case containing an ornate golden staff. But just before his fist connects, POP! PATTYHOUSE, his cousin and alter ego, appears in the same signature family effect.
PATTY
Stop Brick!
Brick’s fist freezes a fraction of an inch from the glass. He has incredible control and nano-quick reactions.
BRICK
Patty! Stop following me!
Patty is tiny, the female version of their kind. The inverse of the male.
PATTY
I have to Brick. I have to keep you from lashing out at the universe from your pain and agony.
BRICK
Don’t start that again.
PATTY
I promised Aunt Becky on her deathbed that I would take care of you and watch out for you. And I aim to do it. After all, I am two years older than you.
BRICK
Aim, huh?
Brick cocks his fist again.
PATTY
What do you want to break up this museum for?
BRICK
Don’t you see it?
Patty tips her head quizzically, looks at the staff in the case.
PATTY
An old gold stick? You can get those on any planet.
BRICK
Not this one, Patty. Not this one. It’s my mom’s.
Patty gasps. And as she speaks the name that will grab Brick’s attention, even if just for a second. That’s all she needs.
PATTY
Aunt Becky’s sta...
She dives on Brick, knocking him to the ground, and skidding twenty feet across the marble floor, before he’s even had a chance to be caught off guard. Tiny body, heavy gravity.
They grapple like two colossi, but with such precision and control of movement that they manage to miss damaging anything in their path. Several times.
BRICK
It’s... my mom’s... staff...
PATTY
If... she wanted you to... have it... she would have given it... to you.
BRICK
I... want... it...
And with the strength from that desire, Brick manages to hoist Patty over his head and throw her single-handedly with such force that her hands knock a chunk of marble out of the far wall. She’s lucky she put her hands up or that would have been her head.
As Patty crumples to the ground, Brick takes that roundhouse swing (in slow motion) and shatters the case into a thousand shards of glistening glass. As he grasps the golden staff in his huge fist, a shimmering golden glow envelopes his body and POP! he’s gone.
Patty lifts herself off the marble floor, turns and sits back against the wall. With a deep sigh...
PATTY
The Staff of Doubles. I’m gonna need to enlist some help.
July 21st, 2009 at 9:31 pm
INT. MUSEUM – BRISK FALL DAY
The museum is barren and dark except for the sunlight seeping through the dirty skylights.
There’s a low rumble that starts to grow. It quickly turns into thundering until, finally, the wall of the museum explodes.
BRICKHOUSE emerges from the debris. He is a giant. As ugly as he is strong his skin is closer to a crocodile’s hide than to a man’s.
Brickhouse looks around from his thick brow and starts running through the main hall bulldozing anything in his path. He’s on the hunt.
He crashes into another room sending priceless artifacts flying. He finds his treasure. An enormous golden staff. He demolishes the bullet proof glass casing, grabs his staff and explodes through another wall.EXT. DOWNTOWN – BRISK FALL DAY
The outside wall bursts into the street. PEOPLE and NEWS REPORTERS scatter in a panic. POLICE OFFICERS fire on Brickhouse as he makes his way violently through their barricade. Other Police Officers bark orders through megaphones. It’s complete anarchy.
One REPORTER braves the riot to report her story.REPORTER
Police are trying to contain the monster but are finding it to be increasingly difficult.
Reporter touches her ear piece.REPORTER (CONT’D)
I’m getting a report that Brickhouse has taken control of the Golden Staff of Light...INT. QUIET BEDROOM – BRISK FALL DAY
A silver haired man is lacing up one of his tall black boots. His bright blue eyes and strong jaw carry a somber look. He has passed his prime decades ago and knows it. The man is dressed in a bright yellow and black uniform. A small TV on top of the dresser is turned on to the news.
REPORTER V.O. (CONT’D)
Is there anyone who can stop him?ROSE
Arnold. What are you doing?ARNOLD
Brickhouse has finally escaped. I have stop him.ROSE
No! You said you were done!ARNOLD
I know, but the world needs me again.ROSE
Arnold!ARNOLD
ROSE! There’s no time!
Rose is silent. Arnold grabs his mask, puts it on and goes to leave. She doesn’t look at him.ARNOLD (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. I love you.
Rose continues to look down.
Arnold leaves.
Immediately regretting her decision, Rose rushes toward the bedroom window as Arnold flies away.ROSE
I LOVE YOU TOO!
Rose turns toward the television to see the chaos. She can barely look.EXT. DOWNTOWN
Police Officers are shooting at Brickhouse. He returns fire using NEARBY CARS.
Arnold maneuvers around tall buildings following a trail of destruction. He finally reaches the billowing smoke near the harbor.
Crumbled walls. Flaming cars. Dead bodies. Arnold tries not to react to the scene.
He sees his foe and without hesitation, darts straight for him. Brickhouse looks up. Right before impact, Brickhouse fires his fist into Arnold catapulting him into the opposite direction.
Arnold crashes into a building and falls to the ground with a thud. The news camera captures a shot of him.REPORTER
Is that... is that Super Bolt?INT. QUIET BEDROOM
Rose is still watching the TV. She tightens her mouth.
EXT. DOWNTOWN
Arnold shakes himself off and takes flight. He circles around and shoots toward the ground drilling into the back of Brickhouse. They both tumble to the ground causing it to tremble.
Brickhouse picks himself up easily. Arnold is badly hurt and attempts to fly away but cannot.
Holding the Golden Staff in one hand, Brickhouse takes his other hand and grabs Arnold then slams him into the Earth.
Brickhouse almost grabs him again, when a FIGHTER JET zooms overhead. Brickhouse looks up and follows the jet’s movement.
Arnold is able to stumble away. He gives himself a moment and then, with everything he’s got, he takes off into the air again.
While in the air, Arnold spots a CONSTRUCTION SITE. He anxiously scours the yard finally grabbing a chain that could anchor an aircraft carrier and races back toward Brickhouse.
As Brickhouse makes his way to a PARK by the water, Arnold closes in on him. Brickhouse turns, and again, fires a punch. This time Arnold dodges it and wraps the chain around Brickhouse’s arm.
As fast as he can, Arnold binds Brickhouse’s arms and legs.
Brickhouse has been immobilized, but Arnold is straining to keep the chain around him.
The crowd has all but disappeared. The Police Officers and News Reporters remain at a safe distance.POLICE OFFICER
(Through a megaphone)
Super Bolt! You must leave! We will be firing missiles soon!
Arnold still strains to contain Brickhouse. The Golden Staff, still in Brickhouse’s grip, begins to glow. The Reporter continues her play by play.REPORTER
They’re going to be firing missiles at Brickhouse. But, Super Bolt doesn’t seem to be leaving.POLICE OFFICER
Super Bolt! This is your last warning! Missiles will be deployed!
The news camera zooms in on Arnold. As Arnold is losing his grip, he notices the glowing Staff and frantically begins to yell to the officers. Everyone is too far away to hear. The Staff glows brighter and brighter. The Reporter attempts to read is lips.REPORTER
It looks like he’s yelling...INT. QUIET BEDROOM
Rose attempts to read his lips too. Although she’s not, Rose appears to be calm.
ROSE
He’s yelling, “Shoot him.” Oh Arnold, no. Rose looks down. She has given up hope.EXT. DOWNTOWN
The fighter jet circles around and fires a missile.
The missile whistles in the air finally exploding into Brickhouse. He loses grip of the Golden Staff and goes flying into the harbor. The water shoots up like a geyser.
A moment passes.
Arnold is laying on the street. Police Officers walk toward him. He appears to be lifeless.INT. QUIET BEDROOM
Rose sits down on the bed and sobs into her hands. She has lost everything.
FADE OUT.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:29 pm
EXT. GOTHIC STYLE MUSEUM – NIGHT
BRICKHOUSE (50), a rugged, adventure-worn, Indiana Jones looking, Juggernaut sized man, exits The City Museum of Ubiquities. He nonchalantly strolls through a gaping hole where the museum’s front doors once stood. He carries with him an ancient looking staff.
AMANDA (O.S.)
Stop and desist!
Brickhouse stops halfway down the museum steps. At the bottom, wearing a small mask and tight, revealing pink leather, stands AMANDA (24); her hands on her hips in a heroic pose. She has platinum blonde hair, ice blue eyes and the body of a fitness model; she’s gorgeous.
Brickhouse lets out a small chuckle which slowly turns to uncontrollable laughter. Amanda begins messing with her hair.
AMANDA (CONT’D)
I’m not... this is NOT a joke.
Brickhouse picks up on the conviction in her voice and stops laughing. He slowly descends the steps to her.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe I know you. My friends call me Brickhouse.
The ground shakes with his every step.
AMANDA
I know who you are, you’re a bad guy. And I’m going to bring you to justice.
BRICKHOUSE
Justice? You? Miss...?
AMANDA
Aman-- umm, Mandi... Mighty Mandi!
Brickhouse laughs again.
BRICKHOUSE
Mighty Mandy. Do you know what I do for a living?
He reaches the bottom of the steps; they are face to face.
AMANDA
Uh, steal things?
BRICKHOUSE
Do you even know what this is?
He holds out the staff.
AMANDA
A pole?
BRICKHOUSE
A staff, the staff. Listen, kid, you’re cute, but I’ve got important things to do, so if you don’t mind I’m gonna--
AMANDA
You’re not going anywhere, except to justice!
BRICKHOUSE
What?
Amanda quickly grabs the staff from his hand and clunkily runs off in her high heeled boots. Brickhouse is momentarily mesmerized by her perfect ass as it bounces away. Shaking it off, he pursues her.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
Amanda speeds down the sidewalk, she is running shockingly fast in her high heels.
BRICKHOUSE
(yelling ahead to her)
What the hell do you think you’re doing?!
Amanda looks back and sees that he’s actually gaining on her. She jumps up and starts running on top of traffic. Brickhouse follows, barreling through the cars, effortlessly throwing them out of his way.
AMANDA
(looking back while running)
Oh my God! Stop that!
She jumps back onto the sidewalk; Brickhouse follows.
EXT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Amanda rounds the corner and runs up the steps of the police station. She doubles over, catching her breath. Brickhouse runs up to the bottom of the steps.
AMANDA
Brickhouse... meet, the “big house.”
Amanda turns and opens the police station front doors, and hurls the staff inside.
AMANDA (CONT’D)
You want it? Go ge--
WHAM! Brickhouse lands on top of the stairs and smacks Amanda out of the way. She flies through the air and smashes through the rear window of a parked car. Brickhouse opens the doors and walks into the police station. He emerges a second later, staff in hand.
BRICKHOUSE
(to someone inside the station)
Yeah, my mistake, good night.
He closes the door behind him and inspects the staff, then walks down the stairs to the car where Amanda landed.
He walks up to the driver side window and lightly taps on the glass. It slowly rolls down. Amanda is unharmed, sitting in the front seat, her mask off. Tears roll down her face.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Nice try Sweetheart.
(reaching the staff in the window he picks up her chin)
Don’t get down on yourself. Pretty girl like you can find plenty of other work... I hear they’re hiring down at Gentleman’s Club.
Brickhouse cracks up as he walks away, merrily twirling the staff.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Amanda wipes her tears away.
AMANDA
I’m a hero... I am a hero.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Stephen,
I think your generalizing a bit when it comes to comics. I wouldn’t call every single comic melodramatic and I don’t think costumes or the fighting is melodrama.
Be that as it may, I guess it just comes down to personal taste. I absolutely hate the old Batman series and the way they talked. Chris Claremont’s X-Men, Preacher, Kingdom Come–that’s more my speed. And honestly, I never cringed once when I watched The Dark Knight. The Fantastic Four? Camp, cartoony, and cheesy.
July 21st, 2009 at 10:45 pm
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A RED VELVET ROPE closes off an empty room from the public. A SPOTLIGHT illuminates a GLASS CASE in the middle. A brown WOODEN STAFF, about four feet tall, decorated in various Native American style accoutrements (beads, arrowheads), stands upright in the case.
A large brown BOOT steps over the velvet rope and slams onto the floor. It belongs to:
BRICKHOUSE. A middle-aged man the size of an NBA center, built like Mr. Universe and wearing a wife-beater and blue jeans stained with white paint.
Brickhouse walks to the glass case, setting off alarms without a care. He stares at the staff for a second and punches through the glass. He grabs the STAFF and lifts it into the spotlight.
BRICKHOUSE
He wants this piece of shit?
A “Honky Tonk” ring tone.
Brickhouse groans, reaches into his pocket and grabs his cell phone. He looks at the caller ID and answers.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
What did I say about calling this phone, Denise?
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Multitudinous amounts of cop cars, armored trucks, and humvees are parked on the street facing the entrance of the museum.
Standing behind a humvee, the POLICE CHIEF, thick mustache, coffee in hand, barks at CARTER, a uniformed cop.
POLICE CHIEF
Carter!
CARTER
Yes sir!
POLICE CHIEF
Where in the blue hell is Special Agent Burns?
CARTER
I’m not sure, sir!
POLICE CHIEF
Calm down, Carter. This isn’t the military. I’m not your drill sergeant. There’s no need to yell at me.
CARTER
I understand, sir. It’s just...you make me nervous, sir. You make everyone nervous, sir. And that causes my consistently anxious behavior and overly wordy speech patterns, sir!
POLICE CHIEF
Do you know where Burns is or not, Carter?
Carter shakes his head.
POLICE CHIEF (CONT’D)
Well, fucking fuck us.
INT. BURNS’ RUNDOWN APARTMENT – NIGHT
A small bedroom. A little boy, DANNY, 7, bowl hair cut, lies in his cot-like bed, tucked in. A night light illuminates the room.
BERNARD BURNS, early forties, his boyish good looks still retained, business attire, loosened tie, sits on the edge of the bed, book in hand, reading to Danny.
BENARD BURNS
(reads from book)
“And that’s how the Field Mouse and the Rattlesnake lived happily ever after.”
Burns closes the book as Danny snores. He looks to a picture on Danny’s night stand of Danny, Benard, and a pretty BLONDE WOMAN.
Burns gets up from the bed and opens up a nearby window. The faint sound of police alarms smacks his ear drums. He puts his foot at the base of the window frame and rips off his dress shirt.
Underneath, a BLACK chest plate. A symbol in the center: a white oval with a red diagonal line through the middle. A superhero costume.
BENARD BURNS (CONT’D)
Good night, Danny.
Benard Burns leaps out the window.
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT – MOMENTS LATER
Burns falls from the sky and lands safely outside the museum, amidst the cop cars and police cacophony. His costume is completely black, sans the white oval in the center of his chest. Police Chief yells from the crowd, rapidly approaching Burns.
POLICE CHIEF
Burns, you motherfucker! Where the fuck--
BENARD BURNS
Chief.
POLICE CHIEF
What?!
BENARD BURNS
Is he inside?
POLICE CHIEF
Yes!
BENARD BURNS
Well, calm down then.
Burns heads up the steps to the museum.
POLICE CHIEF
Your tardiness will not go without notice, Burns!
BENARD BURNS
Someone has to tuck in Danny!
Police Chief and Carter watch him go.
CARTER
Good guy that Burns.
POLICE CHIEF
It almost makes you sick doesn’t it?
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Brickhouse is still on the phone. The STAFF in his other hand.
BRICKHOUSE
(to phone)
Listen, Denise, if you call my wife, so help me God I’ll--
A COUGH from behind Brickhouse. He turns. It’s Benard Burns. Brickhouse holds up a finger. “One second”. Burns steps over the velvet rope, walking towards Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Don’t back talk me Denise, God damnit.
(beat)
Of course, I love you.
(beat)
Well, just let me think about it. Okay. I’ll call you back.
(looks to Burns)
I’ve business that needs tending.
Brickhouse hangs up and turns to Burns. He tosses the staff to Burns. Burns catches it.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
I don’t know why you want that hunk of shit.
BENARD BURNS
(looking over staff)
It’s a valuable wooden staff, Bill. Did you not see the glass case?
BRICKHOUSE
I saw it. But since when do the good turn bad?
BENARD BURNS
Since the job of the superhero started paying worse than the job of the bad guy. You’re the antagonist, Bill! And you make a better living than I do!
BRICKHOUSE
It does pay well.
BENARD BURNS
D’you know my son and I live in the city’s worst neighborhood? If we weren’t immortal, I’m sure we’d be dead by now. And today I had to interview for a clerk’s position downtown. Me, Bernard Burns, the world’s greatest fucking superhero, wearing a suit, making copies and pouring coffee!
BRICKHOUSE
So this is it now? Just like that you’re the bad guy? You’re the antagonist? You’re me?
BENARD BURNS
I’m not you, Bill. I’m an educated, kind hearted man who never cheated on his wife, loves his son and loves this city.
(beat)
But times have changed. It pays better to be you. So that’s what I have to be. You.
BRICKHOUSE
But it doesn’t happen over night, Benard. Being the bad guy takes training, it takes perseverance. It takes most of the stuff it takes to be the good guy, only, you know... the opposite. Are you willing to be the opposite?
BENARD BURNS
I’m ready to be the opposite.
Burns and Brickhouse stare at each other.
CUT TO:
Burns and Brickhouse stand at the entrance of the museum. A large staircase out front leads to the Police convoy on the street.
BENARD BURNS (CONT’D)
How’s this whole deal work?
BRICKHOUSE
Well, they can’t kill us, Benard. So we just wreck some havoc, maybe hurt some people and run away. Then we get hammered.
(beat)
You ready for the first step?
BENARD BURNS
(shrugs shoulders)
Sure. Fuck it.
BRICKHOUSE
That’s the bad guy spirit! Fuck it!
Brickhouse KICKS open the museum doors.
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse and Burns step out onto the museum steps. The police lights smack them in their faces. Burns shields his eyes.
BRICKHOUSE
Benard Burns, the bad guy. Never thought I’d see the day.
BENARD BURNS
(sighs)
Me neither.
Brickhouse runs ahead of Burns, down the steps, heading right for the police.
BRICKHOUSE
Fuck you, coppers!
Burns watches Brickhouse thrash around, lifting up a cop car and heaving it into a nearby building.
BENARD BURNS (V.O.)
And that was how it began.
Burns takes off down the street, heading right for the police.
BENARD BURNS (V.O.) (CONT’D)
How Benard Burns, world famous superhero, turned world famous supervillain.
Burns arrives in a blur at Police Chief and Carter. Carter smiles at Burns. Police Chief points to Brickhouse, angry. Burns rears back, ready to punch the Police Chief’s lights out.
FREEZE FRAME
BENARD BURNS (V.O.) (CONT’D)
A month ago it seemed like things were really on the up and up for the Burns family, too...
July 21st, 2009 at 11:01 pm
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
REX HOLMES and the police CHIEF stand in a ring of police tape, studying the new gap in the side of the museum. The hole is twice as tall as the men and shaped like an inverted pyramid.
REX
So what does it do?
CHIEF
What does what do?
REX
The staff. Why would Brickhouse want this staff?
CHIEF
It’s better then the one he has now.
REX
How?
CHIEF
It’s a Plus Twelve.
REX
Excuse me?
CHIEF
Through some ancient magic voodoo enchantment by the Egyptians in whenever the hell B.C., who ever wields the staff gets twelve more strength. His old staff was only a Plus Ten, so ipso facto the Plus Twelve is better then his old one.
REX
What does that mean?
CHIEF
It means the staff makes him even stronger then he normally is.
REX
How much stronger?
CHIEF
Twelve. Twelve stronger.
REX
Is that a lot?
CHIEF
It’s more then ten.
REX
And how exactly does a staff make you stronger? It magically makes your muscles bigger? Isn’t that what steroids are for?
CHIEF
I don’t care! Just stop him!
REX
If I’m going to fight him I need to be prepared. If he’s got a Plus Twelve staff I can’t just go out there and punch him with my fists like some sort of chump. I need to find my own ancient staff of--
CHIEF
Johnson!
OFFICER JOHNSON appears, holding a small, ornate staff. He hands it to the Chief who in turn hands it to Rex.
CHIEF
Here, he left this one in the case.
REX
Why didn’t he take it?
CHIEF
It’s only a Plus Nine. Also, it’s not purple, which makes it worse for some reason. It’s not bad though, it’s faster then the Plus Twelve.
REX
It’s a stick, how can it be faster then some other stick?
CHIEF
Nevermind that! Brickhouse is mighty--
REX
Mighty...
CHIEF
--and ain’t holding nothin’ back! You need to defeat him before it’s too late!
REX
Oh, I’ll defeat Brickhouse...as long as I get to keep the Plus Twelve staff.
CHIEF
But why? The whole point is to get the staff back to the museum! You didn’t even know what it was a minute ago!
REX
Yeah, but it’s better then this one. I want the better one.
CHIEF
Why don’t you do it for the good of the city?
REX
Well that’s no fun.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:15 am
INT. MUSEUM FOYER -- DAY
Large, imposing doors open into a grand hall. Monolithic pillars line the walls, with paintings and sculptures nestled in between. Tourists and the elderly shuffle about on a gleaming marble floor.
A pack of SCHOOL CHILDREN pour into the foyer. Nine and ten year olds, around forty in number. Almost well behaved, their excitement is getting the better of them.
Leading them is MISS PAIGE, mid-forties, underpaid, stressed, but dedicated. Bringing up the rear is Gregor, now known as MR GORDON. Carrying the children’s permission slips under one arm, he is the definition of clean-cut.
Once they are all inside, Miss Paige turns to face the children.
MISS PAIGE
Okay. Everyone! Class 4P here. 4G, here.
The children divide into their classes and take their place on either side of Miss Paige. Once there are in their groups, Gregor walks up and joins her.
GREGOR
Okay.
He leaves and wanders towards the front counter, observing the staff. He joins the line and waits.
An alarm goes off. The school children scream but everyone else looks around casually; there’s no obvious danger. A young staff member, JASON, picks up the phone and makes an inquiry.
A CRASH is head from within the museum. That grabs the crowd’s attention. They wander over to the main archway, peering into the museum proper. Gregor watches them, but stays in line.
The alarm continues in the background. Jason picks up a microphone from behind the desk:
JASON
Ladies and Gentlemen, the building must be evacuated. Please move calmly to your nearest exit.
Gregor swiftly leaves the line and joins Miss Paige, who has already started moving the children towards the exit.
GREGOR
Come on.
He stops at the main doors. Miss Paige leads the children out while Gregor stays and ushers them through.
He looks back into the museum and stops cold.
Across the room, staring at him, is Brickhouse.
The years have not been kind. His skin is hard and leathery, his hair sparse and matted. But he is still a gorilla of a man, towering above everyone else.
He cradles a heavy, ornate staff. His baritone voice easily fills the room.
BRICKHOUSE
I don’t believe it.
Gregor stands silent, watching.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
I don’t. Believe it.
He crosses the room. Those who have not left scramble to the side, getting out of the way. A trapped audience.
He stops in front of Gregor. Brickhouse towers over him by a good two feet. Gregor stands his ground, but does not make eye contact.
BRICKHOUSE
Little Gregor. How nice to see you again. What on Earth have you done to yourself?
A long pause. Gregor trembles. Finally, he looks up.
GREGOR
I don’t know what to say.
BRICKHOUSE
What’s there to say. I’m going to kill you.
Gregor looks away. He breathes deeply, fighting to stay calm. The remaining patrons watch on, captivated.
GREGOR
It’s fitting, I suppose.
Brickhouse grabs Gregor by his shirt, thrusting him up off the ground. His trembling stops. His face goes blank, his eyes vacant.
BRICKHOUSE
Yes. I’m nostalgic too.
With one swift motion, Gregor claps his hands over Brickhouse’s ears.
Brickhouse may as well have been hit by a thunderclap. He screams and drops Gregor to the ground.
Gregor lands deftly, and immediately kicks Brickhouse in the groin. He doubles over, writhing in pain. He collapses to the ground and curls up into a ball.
Gregor walks quickly towards him and applies pressure to the back of his neck. Brickhouse screams. He thrashes about, and manages to knock Gregor’s hand away.
He quickly rolls to the side and picks himself up. His face is red, his eyes bloodshot. A wounded animal.
Gregor’s face is still calm and neutral. He has not broken a sweat.
Brickhouse begins to circle him, stroking the staff. Gregor watches, but does not move.
Suddenly Brickhouse leaps forward, swinging the staff down hard. Gregor steps to the side. The staff crashes against the marble floor, breaking a tile.
Brickhouse veers around just in time to block Gregor’s counter attack. He swings in retaliation but Gregor quickly steps back.
Brickhouse presses his advantage and unleashes a flurry of powerful swings. Gregor is quicker, and avoids being hit. His face is still vacant, but his eyes dart around, studying every move Brickhouse makes.
Suddenly he steps forward and to the side, grabbing Brickhouse’s wrist. He twists it hard and simultaneously kicks in the back of his knee. Brickhouse drops.
Gregor takes the staff and holds it against Brickhouse’s throat, crossing his arms from behind to apply a vice-like grip. Brickhouse tries to fight him off, but can’t. His eyes roll back as he loses consciousness. Gregor does not stop. He continues the choke, his face a mask of calm.
Eventually, he lets go. Brickhouse’s lifeless body slumps to the ground. The crowd watches in stunned silence.
Gregor observes Brickhouse’s corpse for a long moment.
He gently rests the staff on the floor, then stands and leaves the building.
EXT. MUSEUM STEPS -- DAY
Gregor walks quickly down the steps. His class is nearby.
EXCITED CHILD
Mr Gordon!
Gregor either ignores them or does not notice. He walks past them and disappears into the crowd.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:49 am
Here’s my stab at it.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
Mummified corpses. Crumbling pottery. Medieval weapons. Ancient jewelry and bobbles. All on display behind protective glass.
LASLO WIDMER(75), Museum Curator, is as much of a relic as the artifacts on exhibit. His snow-white hair and goatee make him a dead ringer for Colonel Sanders.
Widmer stands in front of a group of BRATTY CHILDREN. These brats make up MS. DEROSA’S 2ND GRADE CLASS.
MS. DEROSA(29), a copper toned beauty, of Dominican descent, stands by her class, keeping a watchful eye.
WIDMER
(to Children)
This is the Ancient Treasures exhibit. A collection of Items from past civilizations....
The Bratty Children pay Widmer no attention.
All except for one LITTLE GIRL. The Little Girl listens transfixed. Scans the exhibit, with eyes like saucers. She has the face of an angel.
This is little SALLY JONES(8).
Sally wears a GIANT, YELLOW BACKPACK with a Smiley face on the back of it. The bright yellow backpack is almost as big as her.
A SNOT NOSED KID scampers up to Ms. DeRosa. Tugs at her dress.
SNOT NOSE
Ms. DeRosa can we get ice cream?
MS. DEROSA
They don’t have ice cream at the Museum. Now pay attention.
SNOT NOSE
But I want ice cream!
MS. DEROSA
Tommy! If you don’t knock it off, I will take you back to the bus, and you’ll sit for the rest of the entire field trip.
SNOT NOSE
I WANT ICE CREAM DAMN IT! I WANT ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW!
Suddenly THE WALL EXPLODES. AN ICE CREAM TRUCK BLASTS into the room. Showering rubble.
It tumbles destructively across the Museum. SMASHES priceless artifacts. BURSTS them to dust.
Everyone in the Museum scatters to avoid the path of the tumbling ice cream truck.
It SLAMS to a halt. Upside down in the middle of the Museum.
The dust settles. AN ICE CREAM TRUCK JINGLE EMANATES from a detached speaker.
A BIG UGLY BASTARD emerges from the gaping hole, where the ice cream truck blasted through.
This is BRICKHOUSE. Towering. Ripped. Certainly a motherfucker.
Brickhouse lumbers over to an exhibit. Slams a gigantic fist through the protective glass.
Glass EXPLODES into a million tiny shards.
He reaches in. Pulls out a GOLDEN STAFF.
WIDMER
Hey! You can’t take that!
BRICKHOUSE
Watch me.
SALLY
Don’t even think about it slick.
Brickhouse locks eyes with little Sally Jones. Gone is any trace of the little angel we seen before. Sally now looks... hard.
Brickhouse roars with laughter.
BRICKHOUSE
Who’s gonna stop me?
(points to Widmer)
That old fart?
(beat)
You?
Sally eye-fucks Brickhouse.
SALLY
That’s right chief.
Brickhouse bursts into laughter once more.
Sally reaches behind her back, and partially unzips her backpack.
BRICKHOUSE
You’re just a little girl. So scram runt.
SALLY
Why don’t you make me?
BRICKHOUSE
You’re starting to annoy me you little sh...
Before he can finish his sentence, Sally PULLS OUT AN M-16 from her backpack, and levels it at Brickhouse.
Time slows down. Brickhouse’s eyes go wide. Sally grits her teeth.
Time resumes normally just as Sally OPENS FIRE. RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT... Sally’s M-16 jerks violently in her tiny hands. Hot shells spill at her feet.
Brickhouse shields his face with one of his massive arms. Bullets just bounce off him, ricocheting around the Museum destroying shit left and right.
WIDMER
(to Ms. DeRosa)
Tell your student to put down that gun!
MS. DEROSA
She’s not one of my students!
WIDMER
Then who is she?!
Sally stops firing. Smoke rises from the barrel of her weapon.
Brickhouse lowers his arm. His mouth twists into a wicked grin.
BRICKHOUSE
Is that all you got?
Sally tosses the M-16. Reaches behind her back. Fishes in her backpack. YANKS OUT A BAZOOKA.
Brickhouse’s stupid grin disappears instantly.
Little Sally takes aim with the BAZOOKA. KABOOM!
Brickhouse takes a blast in the chest, that sends him crashing to the floor.
Clutching the BAZOOKA, Sally stands. Calm. Focused. She’s a pro.
Brickhouse rises to his feet fuming. Fury burns in his eyes. It’s on now.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
I’m gonna tear you to shreds you little bitch!
He charges like a rhino towards Sally.
Sally unloads the BAZOOKA. KABOOM! KABOOM! KABOOM!
The stampeding brute dodges the BAZOOKA fire. The blasts OBLITERATE a Mummy exhibit.
Brickhouse backhands Sally, and sends her soaring through the Museum.
Sally crash lands into a T-REX SKELETON. The T-Rex Skeleton implodes. Burying Sally under a pile of prehistoric bones.
Pause. Pause. We hold... There’s no movement from the heap of fossils.
Satisfied, Brickhouse turns and walks away.
Then...
SALLY (O.C.)
Hey slick.
Brickhouse whirls, to see....
Sally standing on top of the hill of dinosaur bones GRIPPING TWO ROCKET LAUNCHERS.
SALLY (CONT’D)
Is that all you got?
She pulls back the triggers. WHOOOOOOOOOOSH.... rockets speed toward Brickhouse.
BooooooooM! The rockets erupt with full force against his massive chest.
The force BLOWS him on his ass.
Wasting no time, Sally chucks the rocket launchers. She hoists a MOTORIZED RAZOR SCOOTER from out her bottomless backpack. Hops on. Zooms off.
She rolls up to Brickhouse, who’s sprawled out on the floor, leaps off the scooter, and lands on his chest.
Both hands disappear behind her back into her deadly backpack. Her hands reappear GRASPING A PAIR OF UZI’S.
SALLY
Let’s see if your eyes can deflect bullets like the rest of your body.
Sally points the UZI’S right at Brickhouse’s eyes. Squeezes the triggers.
TAKA! TAKA! TAKA!
Warm DNA and brain matter speckle Sally’s face.
Out of nowhere, a SWAT TEAM STORMS the Museum. They enter pointing guns. They look around at the destruction awestruck.
Broken glass all over everything. Scattered shell casings. Demolished exhibits. A flipped over ice cream truck.
SWAT TEAM LEADER
What the hell happened here?
Widmer, Ms. DeRosa, and her class point to Sally.
The Swat Team turn and see eight year old, Sally Jones standing on top of Brickhouse’s giant dead body.
Sally smiles brightly with a bloody face at the Swat Team.
FADE TO BLACK.
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:26 am
INT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
BRICKHOUSE is the size of four men. He is covered in short wiry hair, knobs and spines. His back and shoulders are a gnarled, plated shell. Fat fingers taper into daggers.
In one huge paw he clutches the STAFF OF MBWUN; gilded, ornate, ancient.
He stomps through the museum’s Great Hall toward the front entrance, backing up two security guards, JERRY and BAKER.
JERRY
Just stop right there, sir!
BAKER
(to Jerry)
Sir?!
Jerry brandishes his flashlight like a club. Baker shakes a can of mace. They are peasants before a dragon.
The guards butt up against the doors. Locked.
Jerry fumbles through a ring of keys while Baker attempts to talk the beast down. His voice trembles and cracks:
BAKER (CONT’D)
I’m going to ask you nicely, one more time: Please put the artifact down and back away...
Brickhouse crouches low, leans in close, his gaping maw whipping drool.
BAKER (CONT’D)
(quiet, to Jerry)
Open the fuckin door, Jerry.
JERRY
I’m trying!
Brickhouse lets rip a prehistoric roar that blows Baker’s hat off, his hair back, and covers him in slobber.
Jerry drops the keys.
Baker sprays mace in the monster’s eyes.
EXT. MUSEUM / FRONT ENTRANCE – A MOMENT LATER
A wide, endless staircase flows down to the street below. Exhibition banners flutter in the quiet night.
The front door EXPLODES in a spray of glass and wood. Baker snowballs down the staircase, head over feet. Limbs disjointed. Bones crunching. A skier tumbling down a mountain.
Brickhouse shoulders the splintered doorway and steps out onto the landing.
He BELLOWS, a puff of cold death breath hangs in the air.
In one hand, the beast gently cradles the staff. In the other, he hangs Jerry by his legs. A cat with a mouse.
Jerry screams and smacks the monster with his Mag-Lite.
Brickhouse casually swings the man headfirst into a stone column, silencing him instantly, and spraying the white walls with blood.
He tosses the broken body to the sidewalk below.
A woman screams. A crowd scatters.
Brickhouse bounds down the stairs and starts into the street.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT / SAME
Couples in suits and high heels walk arm in arm, caught between dinner and the theater.
Cab drivers honk at red lights.
Brickhouse steps onto the trunk of a taxi, bouncing the front tires off the asphalt. He crosses the street.
People start to notice. They squeal and scurry like rats. Dive into cabs, duck into shops.
A MOUNTED POLICEMAN barrels down on the creature at full gallop, gun drawn.
POLICEMAN
Stop right there!
Brickhouse backhands a mailbox, sends it careening down the sidewalk into the animal’s legs. The horse crumples into a thousand-pound pile.
The policeman is thrown. He crawls to the dying horse and puts a bullet in its brain. Gets to his knees and empties the rest of his clip into Brickhouse’s back.
The bullets pop unnoticed in the thick, matted armor.
The cop pulls his walkie-talkie:
POLICEMAN (CONT’D)
(into walkie)
All units! All units! Request backup I got a, two eleven, a uh, fuckin, ninety-one E, a whole buncha shit! Some...THING! A fucking monster! Headed south on twenty-seventh toward the park!
A white PANEL VAN screeches around a curve.
INT. VAN – SAME
THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD
The van chews up road. It maneuvers around parked cars and pedestrians. It is the only thing headed toward Brickhouse.
IN THE REARVIEW
The calm eyes of a quiet hunter. BANYAN. He is humming.
EXT. CITY STREET – SAME
The van barrels up onto the sidewalk, closing in on the beast.
INT. VAN – SAME
Banyan’s hand tugs his seat belt then back to the wheel, bracing.
On the sidewalk, Brickhouse senses the impact, turns and glares in at Banyan. The Staff of Mbwun gleams in the flash of headlights.
BANYAN
Yep.
CRASH!
The airbag POPS. Banyan whips forward into the belt, the bag.
The windshield spiderwebs, the roof buckles, as Brickhouse rolls up and over the van.
The silence is replaced by approaching sirens.
Banyan knifes the airbag, shakes the dust from his hair. He unbuckles his seat belt and stumbles into the back of the van.
It is dark. He kicks open the back door and lets in the light of the city at night.
Brickhouse is in a heap in the street. He snorts and wails like a dying bull. Struggles to right himself.
Banyan pulls the tarp from an enormous HARPOON GUN mounted to the floor of the van. It is loaded. He was ready.
He swings it out, aims it at the fat of Brickhouse’s back...
And FIRES.
The harpoon whistles through the air.
A steel cable unzips from a spool welded to the undercarriage.
The giant spear smacks deep into the creature’s shell.
Brickhouse ROARS. Stands and stamps his feet. He tries to grab at the harpoon like an itch out of reach.
Banyan steps out of the van and shares the street with the beast.
It is the first he’s shown of his face: It is sun-cracked, handsome. He is in his late thirties, lithe; has a full beard and long knotted hair.
Brickhouse spins on him: YOU!
BANYAN (CONT’D)
Hi. I’m gonna need that thing back you took.
The monster shrieks and charges.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
Oh shit.
Banyan scrambles back into the van.
Brickhouse slams into it.
INT. VAN – SAME
The beast can barely squeeze his head and free arm into the van. He scrapes and claws and lunges at Banyan.
Banyan slips into the front seat, grabs a shotgun.
Hops out the driver’s side door.
EXT. CITY STREET – SAME
Banyan gives the van a wide berth as he pads around to the back.
A dozen cop cars screech up into a roadblock. Doors fly open. Guns are drawn. Orders shouted.
Brickhouse is half inside the van. The vehicle warps and stretches like a Jiffy Pop tin.
Banyan raises the gun--
COPS
PUT THE GUN DOWN! DROP YOUR WEAPON!
--and BLASTS Brickhouse in the side. The monster howls.
Banyan walks out to address the police:
BANYAN
Nice of you to join us.
COPS
Put your gun down now!
BANYAN
I’ve got this under control.
Behind him, Brickhouse has backed out of the van.
The cops’ eyes go wide. Their mouths gape.
COPS
Sir! Get out of there now!
Brickhouse charges Banyan. The police OPEN FIRE.
Bullets smack the monster in the chest and legs and arms.
They ricochet off the pavement making Banyan dance.
BANYAN
Whoa whoa whoa! Jesus!
Brickhouse slams to the end of his leash. The van whines and shifts a bit, but it holds.
The beast screams and slobbers. Reaches for Banyan.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
(to the cops)
Goddammit! You just gonna open fire with a civilian in the middle?! Who’s in charge here!
Cops all look to one another.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
Damn right. Somebody get Lieutenant Russell-- You know Lieutenant Russell?-- Get him on the horn, tell him Banyan’s down here, got another big bad monster on a short leash and he’ll tell you let me do my fuckin job.
(a beat)
Thank you.
Banyan turns to face Brickhouse.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
Can you talk?
The beast just snarls and lunges. The van creaks on its shocks.
Banyan blasts the creature in the leg.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
Speak up. Can you talk? Who sent you?
Brickhouse turns and sprints full speed in the opposite direction.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
Hey! Where you going?!
Banyan follows it on the perimeter of its tether. The police follow him, quiet like a golf crowd.
Brickhouse barrels to the end of the line with tremendous force.
The van CRASHES OVER and slides a few feet on its side.
He turns and barrels back down the street toward the roadblock again.
Banyan, the cops, stop.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
Oh, this way again.
The van screams as it scrapes across the road.
Brickhouse drops to his knees.
Banyan is merciless. He shoots the creature in the side.
It falls on its face. Lies there. Panting. Bleeding.
Dying.
Banyan crouches near it. Whispers to it:
BANYAN (CONT’D)
You’re a big dumb beast. But not too dumb huh? You knew what you were after. And you kept it like an egg.
Banyan stands and aims the shotgun at Brickhouse’s head.
A policeman creeps up behind him:
POLICEMAN
Sir.
Banyan turns to look at him.
POLICEMAN
We can’t let you kill this animal.
Banyan looks back to the beast.
POLICEMAN (CONT’D)
That’s enough, sir.
BANYAN
Fine.
He reaches down and plucks the Staff of Mbwun from Brickhouse’s paw.
BANYAN (CONT’D)
But I’m taking this.
Banyan turns and leaves the beast. The police swarm in to cordon off the area.
Banyan disappears into a sea of people.
The golden staff pokes up out of the crowd.
In the distance, he steps up onto a squad car and walks over it and is gone.
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:49 am
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES -- DAY
We CRASH through the front door of the Museum and wind our way through artifacts and ancient art. Between marble pillars, under velvet ropes and over perspex partitions. To the left of a FROZEN FAMILY of tourists.
Deeper and deeper into the main hall of the museum, which would be bustling if not for some force keeping everyone PERFECTLY STILL.
To the right of a rigid Museum TOUR GUIDE, arms out-stretched, lips parted ready to educate and inform --
We stop on BRICKHOUSE -- built like a WWF wrestler, wearing sculpted leather armor and an unzipped BDSM mask -- standing atop a raised platform, his hand clenched tightly around the Staff of Time.
For a few beats he also seems frozen --
Brickhouse wrenches the Staff of Time from its resting place.
BRICKHOUSE
Thank God that worked!
Brickhouse twirls the staff around his head, then swings it over one shoulder and strides toward the front door.
As he passes the Tour Guide --
TOUR GUIDE
...it’s not uncommon for the male statues to be endowed with large phalluses, while the women -
Brickhouse points the Staff at the Tour Guide, who freezes mouth agape.
The TOUR GROUP shuffles closer to the guide, trying to hear him.
Brickhouse uses the Staff to stop them in their almost indecipherable tracks.
Holding the Staff in front of him, Brickhouse begins to move more quickly toward the main entrance of the museum.
The quicker he moves, the more tourists and families begin to move around him.
Lunge. The Staff stops a boy from snapping a photograph.
Swish. The Staff keeps another MUSEUM EMPLOYEE from educating the masses.
Parry. The Staff freezes a young girl mid-scream, pointing at Brickhouse.
Brickhouse stops. And thrusts the Staff above his head.
BRICKHOUSE
By the Power of...
(beat)
Time!
Everyone stops. Including Brickhouse, who looks embarrassed he just said that --
He strides on.
He walks purposefully, but not too quickly. As soon as his pace picks up, people start moving again.
He hoists the Staff over his head as he hits jogging speed --
BRICKHOUSE
By the POWER OF TIME!
But it doesn’t seem to work. He points at a family, who are now only FROZEN OUT OF FEAR.
He swings toward a SECURITY GUARD. The Security Guard pulls his gun.
Brickhouse screeches to a halt, laying rubber as he stops.
BANG. The Security Guard fires his gun.
Brickhouse sweeps the Staff at the Guard, his gun and the bullet.
They all stop. Brickhouse steps delicately out of the way of the bullet -- and then runs toward the front door.
The Security Guard’s bullet flies through the air --
Hits the Museum Employee – who SLUMPS TO THE FLOOR.
As Brickhouse reaches the entrance, the doors of the Museum SMASH open.
A masked hero -- THE HEART -- enters. His face painted bright red. His outfit not unlike Brickhouse’s armor. But with a cape!
The Security Guard rushes to the Museum Employee’s side.
Brickhouse bangs the Staff of Time against his hand.
BRICKHOUSE
Is this thing on?
THE HEART
No use, Brickhouse. I have its brother!
Brickhouse turns his head, like a confused puppy.
BRICKHOUSE
Whose brother?
The Heart pulls out AN ALMOST IDENTICAL STAFF from under his cape.
THE HEART
Snap!
Brickhouse THRUSTS his Staff AT The Heart.
The Heart stops -- for a moment -- then parrys in return.
Brickhouse PULLS his Staff AWAY FROM The Heart.
BRICKHOUSE
Whose brother?
Brickhouse looks like a confused puppy again.
The Heart swings his Staff at Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
Is this thing on?
Brickhouse bangs the Staff of Time against his hand.
The Heart twirls his staff at the Security Guard -- WHO STANDS UP AND WALKS BACKWARD to where he fired his gun.
Brickhouse thrusts his Staff above his head.
BRICKHOUSE
By the Power of Time!
EVERYONE freezes for a moment.
Moments later, Brickhouse takes off at a run -- the Heart waves his Staff at the Museum Employee who UNSLUMPS FROM THE FLOOR and as he gets to his feet, the bullet fires from his chest and returns to the Security Guard’s gun.
The Heart turns to see Brickhouse standing at the entrance to the museum.
THE HEART
Stalemate, Brickhouse!
BRICKHOUSE
I can stop time, Mr The Heart! You can only reverse it.
The Heart swings his Staff at Brickhouse, who gets dragged -- IN REVERSE -- a couple of steps into the museum.
BRICKHOUSE
Stop!
He thrusts the Staff of Time in The Heart’s direction.
The Heart stops.
BRICKHOUSE
If you reverse time now, that guy gets shot again!
The Heart is still paralysed as Brickhouse runs off screaming:
BRICKHOUSE
I stopped The City’s Heart! I stopped The City’s Heart!
As Brickhouse escapes from the City Museum, everyone in the museum can move again, but barely anyone does.
The Heart is momentarily defeated.
HEART
For now.
The Heart sees the Museum Employee checking himself over for wounds and the Security Guard looking at his gun, completely puzzled.
He strides through the museum, headed for the display where the Staff of Time used to sit.
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:40 am
INT. CITY MUSEUM – NIGHT
Shattered glass. Desolation. Bodies.
It stands in the center of the room, lit by a lone spotlight.
THE ANCIENT STAFF
A hand coils around the center of the staff.
BRICKOUSE
Shake it down.
The hand tightens.
BRICKHOUSE
Now!
BRICKHOUSE, 28, using the combined strength of Mack Trucks and Greek Gods, pulls the staff from its display.
STEEL DOORS SLAMMING SHUT
No exit.
EXT. OUTSIDE MUSEUM – NIGHT
The silent flashing lights of police vehicles.
CURATOR
There is no way he’s getting out of there. It’s equipped with state of the art technology....
EXPLOSION
As Brickhouse, now glowing a bright red, exits with ease.
GUN FIRE
As Brickhouse, unaffected, walks calmly past the cars.
SHOCK AND SURPRISE
As Brickhouse enters the townhouse across the street.
CHIEF OF POLICE
Hold your fire!!! Hold your fire.
The bullets die down.
CURATOR
What the fuck are you doing!!
CHIEF OF POLICE
This is beyond us now.
CURATOR
(flipping out)
What the hell are you talking about!! Go in there and get him.
The Chief SLAMS him up against a cop car.
CHIEF OF POLICE
Stand down, museum employee!! If it hadn’t been for your meddling we wouldn’t be in this situation.
The curator’s eyes harden.
INT. TOWN HOUSE – DAY
Symphony of the Gods.
LIONEL RITCHIE, enthroned in gold, stares at the staff. Brickhouse, on bended knee, stands in waiting.
LIONEL
Excellent, Brick House. I will now grant you your wish.
Lionel stands and points the staff to the sky. His eyes glow red. His hair turns to PURE FIRE.
LIONEL
Which of my songs do you want to draw your power from?
Brickhouse SLAMS his fist into the earth.
BRICKHOUSE
Let it be “Endless Love,” Sir Lionel!!!
Lionel nods.
LIONEL
Very well. From this moment forth let it be so.
He points the orb skyward.
EXT. TOWN HOUSE – DAY
A bolt of fire EXPLODES from the top of the townhouse. It reaches out into SPACE.
CHIEF OF POLICE
We are lost.
EXT. THE VOID OF SPACE
THE MOON
Fire envelopes the lunar orb.
THE MUSIC OF THE SPHERES
Exploding outwards as the moon is pulled slowly towards earth.
The sound of a billion SCREAMS.
INT. BACKWOODS TAVERN (ALABAMA) – NIGHT
KENNY ROGERS, 52, drunk and forlorn, is finishing another cup of Evan Williams brand Whiskey.
A GUY walks into the tavern.
GUY
Kenny. The moon is going to crash into the earth again.
KENNY
I know, goddamnit.
Kenny gets up and walks out.
Into the night.
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:49 am
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
An eerie silence. A line of ARMED POLICE, weapons drawn and aimed, stand protectively in front of an ANXIOUS CROWD. The quiet is only broken by WHISPERS and BURSTS FROM POLICE RADIOS.
THUDS pound from the front of the museum. The ground trembles. The crowd GASPS.
SWAT COMMANDER
Stand by!
Another THUD shakes the building, then...
CRASH! An Egyptian coffin rips a hole in the wall. It somersaults down the museum’s steps and hammers into the side of a SWAT van with a CLANK.
A cloud of smoke spills from the hole left in the museum wall where a daunting figure lurks in the shadows.
SWAT COMMANDER
Open fire!
A chorus of gun fire zips into the smoke cloud.
The figure ROARS.
BRICKHOUSE emerges, half man, half evolutionary accident. He stands comfortably over eight feet tall and equally as wide. He has a face not even a mother could love. In his hand he grasps his prize, a golden staff.
The bullets bounce off Brickhouse like grains of rice as he pounces forwards with a frightening scowl, one earth trembling footstep at a time.
SWAT COMMANDER
Fall back!
The SWAT officers scramble for cover as Brickhouse approaches the line of police cars where one TERRIFIED OFFICER is frozen to the spot.
Brickhouse lifts the car from in front of the terrified officer toppling it onto its roof. He plucks the officer up by the neck to more horrified gasps from onlookers.
SWAT OFFICER
What do we do?
SWAT COMMANDER
Hold fire.
SWAT OFFICER
He’s gonna kill him!
SWAT COMMANDER
I said hold fire!
Buried in the crowd MADELINE, an unassuming seventeen year old with dirty blonde hair, watches on. Her face is masked by her hood. She reaches out a hand and instantly Brickhouse stumbles back feeling the force from fifty feet away.
Within her hood Madeline’s eyes begin to glow a vibrant blue.
Brickhouse drops the officer. The officer makes a break for it.
Madeline steps through the barrier and proceeds towards BRICKHOUSE with both hands outstretched like a mime. The police officers and crowd watch in awe.
The closer Madeline gets the more Brickhouse stumbles like a drunk. He gets angry, frothing at the mouth.
Brickhouse charges at the girl but two steps and he runs into an invisible wall holding him back.
His eyes and veins bulge under huge pressure. In a primal rage he drops the staff. He growls, roars and grunts until...
BANG!
He explodes in a burst of bright energy leaving nothing but vapour.
Exhausted Madeline collapses. The SWAT Commander races over.
SWAT COMMANDER
We need a medic!
He cradles Madeline surrounded by the other officers who fight to hold back the crowd and press.
He removes her hood revealing the most piercing blue eyes you could imagine.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:42 am
Fun!
INT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
ALARMS are ringing.
A glass cabinet smashes. Treasures are pushed aside.
The GOLDEN STAFF is pulled from its case by a dexterous ROBOTIC ARM.
An ORANGE BACK PANEL opens. The STAFF slips in. The PANELS slide shut and LOCK.
CUT TO:
EXT. CITY ROOFTOPS – NIGHT
A FIGURE whips across gaps between tenements. Over ducts, under water towers, the speed he navigates obstacles is amazing.
He skids to an abrupt halt, inches from a ten storey drop. This is TRILOBYTE. Clad in graphite black, he wears large gloss BACKPACK. He flips a VISOR down.
EXT. CITY SQUARE – NIGHT
Blue night-vision, sharp, augmented.
A SWAT TRUCK rounds a corner. The software ZOOMS in.
The TRUCK reaches a sea of POLICE CARS, emergency lights glittering. They are surrounding the entrance to the CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES.
EXT. CITY ROOFTOPS – NIGHT
To the unaided eye, CITY SQUARE is now a long way in the distance. TRILOBYTE dives headfirst over the building’s side.
EXT. MUSEUM GROUNDS – NIGHT
COPS hold position. Armored SWAT TEAMS scuttle into place at the front line. ALARMS and SIRENS blend into one another, adding to the cacophony of chaos.
A muffled BOOM from inside the building.
A GRUNT COP swallows and draws his gun. He sinks lower behind his COP CAR.
EXT. MUSEUM ENTRANCE – NIGHT
The building BURSTS outward, masonry flying in all directions. A MAN operating a large ORANGE POWER FRAME emerges from the rubble and down grandiose steps. This is BRICKHOUSE.
EXT. MUSEUM GROUNDS – NIGHT
The POLICE open fire.
BRICKHOUSE grimaces. His POWER FRAME pushes off the ground and starts running. COP CARS are flung out of the way like the parting of the Red Sea.
EXT. CITY SQUARE – NIGHT
TRILOBYTE sprints into the SQUARE, breathing hard. He pulls a LAUNCHER from a shoulder holster.
BRICKHOUSE lumbers into view, speeding like a freight train. He corners tightly, shattering a support pillar of the BANK BUILDING. TRILOBYTE fires off one SHOT before:
the BANK BUILDING COLLAPSES!
Heading into a shower of RUBBLE, TRILOBYTE instinctively ducks. From the BACKPACK a hard SHELL unfolds like an umbrella and digs into the tarmac, covering him. Stone and plaster bounce off it.
EXT. CROSS STREET – NIGHT
BRICKHOUSE barges into traffic. Cars swerve, crash.
The POWER FRAME now sports a MAG-BOMB attached to its back. The TIMER reads: 00:60
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
The SHELL RETRACTS. TRILOBYTE sprints.
EXT. CROSS STREET – NIGHT
TRILOBYTE dodges tossed vehicles, lines his sights and bullseyes BRICKHOUSE with a GRAPPLING HOOK.
BRICKHOUSE notices. Increases speed.
TRILOBYTE is effectively asphalt-skiing behind his quarry. He reels himself in-
CAR!!!
He LEAPS.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
The POWER FRAME corners at full tilt. Already in the air, TRILOBYTE hurtles around the turn twice as fast. He hits the side of a BUILDING running.
EXT. CITY STREET/PLAZA – CONTINUOUS
TRILOBYTE lands. Switches into a new stance.
BRICKHOUSE cuts across lanes. A WALL disintegrates as he smashes through it.
TIMER reads: 00:27
The PLAZA is on two levels. BRICKHOUSE clears the steps in one stride. Concrete rips up as the villain slams his feet into the ground at the bottom. The massive weight pushes the POWER FRAME six yards, but BRICKHOUSE is in complete control.
He yanks the GRAPPLE LINE with all his might.
The cord whips past. TRILOBYTE is thrown like a ragdoll into the glass facade of a SHOPPING MALL.
EXT. SHOPPING MALL ENTRANCE – NIGHT
The lumbering bulk steps towards the demolished shopfront. Glass falls out of its frame. BRICKHOUSE brings a weapon up and peers inside the wreckage.
TIMER: 00:15
A window smashes from the floor above. TRILOBYTE lands on the POWER FRAME like a cat.
BRICKHOUSE spins and twists. He can’t shake his assailant. TRILOBYTE avoids the flailing arms, draws his own CUTTING DISC.
BRICKHOUSE sprints away from the building, still dragging the GRAPPLING LINE.
EXT. PLAZA – NIGHT
00:06
The DISC cuts the BACK PANEL open. The STAFF is inside.
BRICKHOUSE changes course, heading for the bridge.
TRILOBYTE GRABS the treasure.
INT. SHOPPING MALL – NIGHT
The GRAPPLING LINE is firmly secured to a GIRDER. The slack runs out.
EXT. PLAZA – NIGHT
00:01
The LINE snaps TIGHT. BRICKHOUSE stops with massive sudden force.
TRILOBYTE catapults into the air, milliseconds before:
BRICKHOUSE EXPLODES!
Our hero SOMERSAULTS and lands on the wet asphalt. He slides to a standstill, one knee to the ground.
Fiery wreckage lands all around. TRILOBYTE holds the GOLDEN STAFF aloft and plants it firmly on the ground. He looks up.
ROLL TITLES
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:03 am
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES, ENTRANCE – DAY
A long shallow flight of stairs leads to the entrance of the prestigious Museum. Two large DOUBLE DOORS stand behind both sides of the ticket kiosk at the center of the entrance. There is a security GUARD posted in front of each door.
A car screeches to a stop in the street in front of the Museum. It stopped for-
BRICKHOUSE, fresh out of the looney bin and big enough that if the car had hit him, he likely wouldn’t have been fazed whatsoever. It would take at least a freight truck to bowl this guy over.
He doesn’t even stop to acknowledge the car, he’s a man on a mission. He heads straight for the Museum.
As he nears the entrance, we get a closer look at the guy: ugly as sin, completely hairless, a constant stream of drool coming from the corner of his mouth. Some sort of RADIO TRANSMITTER device (complete with antenna and all) is implanted in the back of his head. Looks like whoever put that thing in there did a shoddy job, they might as well have just hammered it into his skull with a baseball bat.
His shadow looms over the GUARD, who looks to be pissing his pants at the sight of this monster of a man, he’s gotta be at least NINE FEET TALL and built like a brick shit house.GUARD
(stepping aside)
Umm...
Brickhouse grunts as he literally walks right through the door, knocking it completely off it’s hinges.GUARD
You need... a ticket...INT. SAN FRANCISCO MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse marches in a straight line, his feet pound the stone floors like jackhammers, shaking the entire foundation of the building.
At the end of the hall, inside a glass container, surrounded by velvet rope, sits his target: A STAFF made of pure gold and encrusted with all sorts of brightly colored jewels and rubies.
Brickhouse lays eyes on the staff. He picks up his pace, sends anything that gets in his path flying out of the way.
He uppercuts a SMALL CHILD-SMALL CHILD
(flying through air)
Whhhhhaaaaaaaa!
Another GUARD approaches him, feebly tries to stop the giant man.GUARD 2
Excuse me! Sir! Sir, you can’t do that! That was a child-
A swift kick to the Guard’s midsection rockets him through the air, impales him on an sword inside of an antique weapons display.
He continues on his way, backhands a WOMAN, head-butts a FRAT BOY.
He’s at the box. Without a moments hesitation he reaches through the glass and yanks out the staff.
ALARMS sound. Red lights flash. People scream, run for the exits.
BRICKHOUSE marches back out the way he came.
CUT TO:INT. SQUAD CAR –
Officer MILES THORNBERRY (30’s, hardened) drives. Officer JASON SCHAEN (20’s, new recruit) sits shotgun.MILES THORNBERRY
(on radio)
En route to the Museum.JASON SCHAEN
It’s just one guy?MILES THORNBERRY
Apparently.JASON SCHAEN
They put an APB out for one guy? This mother fucker better be armed to the teeth.MILES THORNBERRY
(sighs)
Let’s hope not.
Jason shoots a sly grin. He wants to see some action, or so he thinks.
They turn the corner, arrive at the entrance to the Museum.
The cops have already got the entrance surrounded, formed a BLOCKADE with their CARS.
They pull up to the blockade, park, grab their guns and-EXT. SAN FRANCISCO MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES, ENTRANCE –
Jason and Miles step out of their vehicle. They run up to the front line.
Officer GERRI BUCKO is posted behind her open squad car door for cover. Her M16 RIFLE is pointed at the entrance.
Jason and Miles take cover beside Gerri.MILES THORNBERRY
What do we got here?
The last few civilians run screaming out of the Museum.GERRI BUCKO
Some nutcase just walked on in there and started wreaking havoc. The security officer was scared out of his mind, said the guy was nine feet tall and had some sort of radio jammed into his skull.JASON SCHAEN
Are you serious?
Gerri looks Jason up and down.GERRI BUCKO
Who’s the new guy?MILES THORNBERRY
Officer Jason Schaen. Been on the force for a month. Today he’s riding with me.GERRI BUCKO
Shit. What were they thinking sticking him with you? Are they trying to get him killed?
Miles shrugs.
The ground shakes like a tremor.JASON SCHAEN
(scared)
What the fuck was that?
Another tremor. All of the officers tense up, ready their weapons.
A Beat of silence falls over the street.
We hear the feint scream of a man from inside the building-GUARD (O.C.)
(feint screams)
No! No! Don’t do this! God no! Please! Aaarrrrrggggghhhh!
A body, one of the GUARDS, is hurled through the door, flies through the air with the speed of a cannonball, crashes down on the hood of a SQUAD CAR. The force and weight of the body crushes the hood and breaks the windshield.
A few COPS check on the Guard. He’s DEAD.JASON SCHAEN
(panicked)
Seriously, what the hell is going on here?
Another BODY is hurled through the door, this one lands on top of a few COPS, sends them to the ground.
Another body, and another, and another – in rapid succession – are hurled out the door.
The three bodies rain down on the COPS and the SQUAD CARS, crashing down with near earth shaking force.
This disorients the COPS momentarily, and in this moment-
BRICKHOUSE runs full speed out of the building, STAFF in one hand and a PERSON in the other, held out in front of him like a HUMAN SHIELD.GERRI BUCKO
Shit!
Gerri takes aim, as does Miles.
Jason is too shook to know what to do, he just sits there wide eyed, mouth agape.
Gerri opens fire – Her bullets tear into the Human Shield, turning his back into swiss cheese. A few bullets nick Brickhouse’s arms and legs, but don’t seem to faze him.
He tosses the Human Shield at Gerri, knocks her backwards a good ten yards. She’s out for the count.
Miles opens fire, but BRICKHOUSE is too fast and too strong-
The Monstrous Mongoloid runs straight up to the closest SQUAD CAR, picks it up like an average man would pick up a baseball bat. He swings wildly, back and forth, with the CAR.
Each swing sends Cops and Cop Cars flying.
The Cops try to regroup, but there are cars and people raining down on them like hellfire.
Brickhouse is moving way too fast. He clears a path for himself through the blockade of police cars, sending more cars and people into the air with every swing.
Miles looks to Jason who quivers in fear, uses Gerry’s Squad Car as cover.MILES THORNBERRY
(to Jason)
Stay here!
Miles ducks down, runs over to Gerri.
Gerry is knocked out under the dead body of the used up Human Shield.
Miles lifts the body off of her, drags her back over to Jason, back to the cover of her squad car.
Miles grabs Jason by the shoulders-MILES THORNBERRY
Jason! Jason! You have to snap out of it! OK? I need you to stay right here! I need you to look after Gerri! Can you do that for me?
Jason doesn’t respond.
Miles shakes him hard.MILES THORNBERRY
Can you do that for me?JASON SCHAEN
(snapping out of it)
Yeah-- Yeah I can do that.MILES THORNBERRY
Good. Get her to a hospital once you get your shit together.
Miles quickly gathers up his weapons, slings a shotgun over his shoulder.
He stands up-
The CAR that Brickhouse was using as a baseball bat is flying STRAIGHT TOWARD HIM-
Miles ducks down just in the nick of time, the car misses his head by a hairs length. He watches the car barrel roll down the street behind him.
Miles stands up again, runs through the wreckage.
He hops into the first functioning SQUAD CAR that he sees.INT. SQUAD CAR – CONTINUOUS
Miles fires up the engine. He looks up, through the windshield-
THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD – Brickhouse has left pure destruction in his wake. Dead bodies, wrecked cars, smoke and fires litter the road.
Two MILITARY JETS swoop overhead, leave a trail of smoke slowly dissipating in the air behind them.
A NEWS HELICOPTER follows behind, shining its spotlight down at the wreckage.
Brickhouse is in the distance, staff in hand, causing more destruction as he makes his way through the city, headed toward the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.EXT. DESTROYED SAN FRANCISCO STREETS – CONTINUOUS
The Squad Car takes off down the road, swerves through the wreckage, en route to Ground Zero: BRICKHOUSE.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:30 am
Kevin,
“I think your generalizing a bit when it comes to comics.” I was referring to superheroes, not all comics. Works by folks like Art Spiegelmann, Joe Sacco, Joann Sfar, Ted Mathot, Craig Thompson, etc., etc., is not superhero oriented at all.
As for good vs. bad superhero comics: I agreed that there are plenty of great superhero comics. But they are all unrealistic and outlandish, by their very nature. And that’s ok. That kind of storytelling fills a need, and has since the evolution of the myths of ancient times.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:33 am
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
The night is quiet. The city sleeps soundly. Street lamps cast calming pools of light at regular intervals along the abandoned strip in front of the MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES.
There is an EXPLOSION. The large doors at the front of the Museum burst open in a shower of dust and rubble.
BRICKHOUSE, a massive thing, more tank that man stands where the doors used to. On his back is strapped the ancient STAFF OF ENDING. The alarm in the Museum wails in vain behind him, protesting his escape.
Sirens call back in the distant. Too far away to arrive in time for Brickhouse to escape before they arrive. He steps nimbly down the steps, moving with surprising catlike grace for a man his size.
As he steps onto the street the lamps begin to flicker and die one by one. Brickhouse spins, his ugly face twisted in confusion. Beady eyes searching.
He pulls the staff out of its casing on his back and moves quickly toward an alley across the street.
Suddenly the black cloaked form of MICHAEL alights in front of Brickhouse. Red cloak billowing as he settles to the ground. Michael stands tall, head thrown back defiantly as eh stares down Brickhouse, who is still head and shoulders taller than Michael.
brickhouse
(surprise)
Mr. Indestructible himself!
michael
Who’re you working for Trevor?
Brickhouse’s face twists in rage. He bellows.
BRICKHOUSE
My name is Brickhouse!
With atonishing speed Brickhouse closes the distance between himself and Michael. He slams into Michael with his shoulder, sending the caped crusader soaring through the air.
Brickhouse braces himself as Michael twists in the air, lands feet first against a wall and shoots himself back at Brickhouse.
Brickhouse, using the staff as a bat, swings. Michael drops under it, barely avoiding the staff that shimmers brightly as it passes over him.
On the ground now Michael pushes himself forward again toward the overextended Brickhouse. Michael collides into Brickhouse hands first.
Brickhouse grunts, but is otherwise unaffected.
Michael hoists himself up the big man. Brickhouse roars in frustration.
Michael wraps his legs around Brickhouse’s head and begins to pummel Brickhouse’s face with his fists.
Brickhouse grips Michael in one of his massive meaty hands and throws him to the ground.
Michael rolls away just in time to avoid a massive booted foot crushing him.
Brickhouse swings the Staff again, it shimmers as it approaches Michael who leaps back out of the way.
Brickhouse chuckles, a sound that is more rocks grinding together than mirth.
BRICKHOUSE
With this Staff.
Brickhouse levels the Staff at Michael.
BRICKHOUSE
Even you can be beaten Mr. Indestructible.
Michael grins nonchalantly.
MICHAEL
Let’s see you try Trevor. Who’re you working for?
Michael jettisons himself up into the air. He soars over Brickhouse, landing nimbly behind the creature. Michael delivers a devastating kick to the small of Brickhouse’s back.
Brickhouse stumbles forward grunting. Michael leaps forward again, this time he aims directly at Brickhouse’s head.
Michael wraps his arms around Brickhouse’s head, using the momentum to carry them both to the ground.
Brickhouse immediately tries to spring to his feet, but Michael is already up and delivers a swift kick to the side of his head.
Michael is on top of Brickhouse immediately, he pummels Brickhouses’s face with his fists.
MICHAEL
Who sent you Trevor? Why are you breaking the Commandments!? Don’t make me kill you Trevor.
Brickhouse roars with primal fury and slams both fists into Michael. Unphased Michael continues to beat on Brickhouse.
Blood flies into the air. Michael is covered in it. Brickhouse is covered in it.
Brickhouse raises his hands weakly now, trying to push Michael off him. It is too late.
Michael has won. Brickhouse’s hands fall limply to the side.
Michael stands, looking down at the corpse of Brickhouse.
MICHAEL
You used to stand for something Trevor. What happened?
angela
I did.
Michael spins, immediately crouching into a defensive position. He relaxes only slightly when he sees ANGELA. He purple cape always billowing in some unfelt wind. He bleached white hair framing her face perfectly. His sister always looked the same.
MICHAEL
Angela? Why?
ANGELA
It’s time for your reign of terror to come to an end Michael. Your Council is tyrannical. Look at what you’ve done in the misguided name of justice to poor Trevor.
MICHAEL
He was going to use that Staff to kill me!
Angela bends down and picks up the Staff of Ending from the ground.
ANGELA
I know. I sent him.
The air around Angela shimmers and then she is gone. Leaving Michael alone with the corpse of Brickhouse as police cruisers arrive at the scene.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:55 am
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
There’s a BOOMING knock at the entrance of the Museum. A SECURITY GUARD sticks his notebook into where his holstered gun would go. He walks past a display of TOASTERS through the ages, BARCOLOUNGERS, and finally, TRASHCANS arranged to show the evolution from metal to plastic to self-emptying.
SECURITY GUARD
We’re closed!
STRANGER (O.S.)
(deep voiced)
You’ve got a visitor.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A huge SHADOW falls on the front door of the museum.
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Security Guard walks to the door, unclips his ring of KEYS. Behind him, coming out of the floor, is at first a SQUARE of tile. First the eyes, then full face comes rising out of the floor. BRICKHOUSE. He’s blocky and huge, like a chimney with legs.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
PULL BACK to see our hero, LANCER, is wearing a slouching Fedora, a half cape, and peering into his jeweled cane like it’s a telescope.
LANCER
And I believe he’s behind you.
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Security guard turns and gapes at the fully emerged Brickhouse.
SECURITY GUARD
Who? Who?
BRICKHOUSE
Brick. House.
Guard stumbles backwards, fumbles with his keys, and unlocks the door.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Guard exits open door.
LANCER
(Tips his hat)
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Lit up with its own spotlight is what appears to be a golden staff. Brickhouse pounds his fist on its pedestal, and the display just opens from the shock. He takes the ancient staff in his brick-block hands.
Lancer enters the threshold of the museum.
LANCER
You’ll be needing this.
He tosses Brickhouse what looks like FINE LOCKS of hair. But then is revealed to be a MOP HEAD.
BRICKHOUSE
What?!
LANCER
Yes, that artifact you’re holding is of the early Jackie Gleason dynasty, circa 1950s. A Staff of Floor Washing. Alice’s, I believe.
There’s a film still taken from the HONEYMOONERS on the display.
BRICKHOUSE
No!
LANCER
Well, alright. Could be Trixie’s. Never know.
BRICKHOUSE
Worthless!
LANCER
I don’t know, put on Ebay, no reserve...
Brickhouse splinters the mop. Spins around seeing the common place items that make up the Museum.
LANCER
You tunneled into the Museum of “Ubiquities”. Commonplace, everyday. You’re looking for the Museum of “Antiquities”. Golden sarcophagi, that sort of thing.
Brickhouse advances on Lancer, balling his chubby cubed fists. Closer, closer.
Lancer swishes his flimsy cane through the air. Enraging Brickhouse more.
LANCER
Let’s take this outside?
He walks through the doorway. Brickhouse charges.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Brickhouse fills up the door. Crashes and wedges himself in, stuck. Masonry falls on his head.
LANCER
(sings)
He’s a briiiick Houuuuse. Mighty might just lettin’ it all hang out. He’s a briiiick Houuuuse.
(scat sings)
Shake it down, shake it down now
Beat.
LANCER
(over his shoulder)
Do I win?
VOICE
(O.S)
Tally’s tomorrow.
LANCER
(Ticking off his fingers)
Captured target. Without use of force. No civilians damaged. That should put my degree of difficulty as...
VOICE
(O.S. HEAR HIM WALKING AWAY)
Tally’s tomorrow, Lancer.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I spent an hour checking and double (and triple and triple dipple) checking the code, and then then I heard a SPLAT as the above post appeared. So here goes, try numero dos.
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EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES — DAYA dilapidated building that looks like it should be in a museum of antique museums.AT THE ENTRANCEMARBLE COLUMNS bracket tremendous OAK DOORS.DETERMINED MOM lugs her BRATTY KID up the cracked steps.BRATTY KIDI don’t like dinosaurs no more.DETERMINED MOMWell, they have other stuff.BRATTY KIDDad can afford to take me to a movie.DETERMINED MOMWell, it isn’t his weekend. Trust me, you’ll like this place better.BRATTY KIDDad can afford to buy me two boxes of Goobers.DETERMINED MOMWell, maybe next weekend I’ll conveniently forget to pack your Adderall, and then maybe your dad will magically shit a –BRICKHOUSETHE STAFF OF SEEING in his cinder block hand, CRASHES through the oak doors, sending splinters the size of baseball bats raining down around the quibbling mother and son.A dark wet stain grows on the little boy’s jeans as the mother pulls him to the ground.Brickhouse BOUNDS over them and POUNDS down WASHINGTON AVENUE, charging the gathering POLICE BLOCKADE.THE MUFFIN MADAME and LYRICO sprint through the gaping wooden hole.THE MUFFIN MADAMEHe’s gonna tear up the whole city!LYRICOHe’s mighty, mighty. Just lettin’ it all hang out.MR. MAMMORY tip toes up behind them. BABY BOY hangs loosely in the Baby Bjorn between his massive breasts.MR. MAMMORYShhh. I finally got him down.THE MUFFIN MADAMEWhere’s Sporadicus?LYRICOI just called to say I love you.TWO BLOCKS AWAYthe blockade cops OPEN FIRE on Brickhouse. The bullets RICOCHET off Brickhouse like you’d expect them to ricochet off a man made of stone and clay.MR. MAMMORYI’d love to be made of bricks.THE MUFFIN MADAMEYou should be proud of what you have. I know plenty of woman a lot tougher than that jackass.MR. MAMMORYI’m not a women, I just have breasts.LYRICOOoh what a funky lady. She like it, like it, like it, like that.MEXICAN JUMPING BEAN plummets from the sky, CAPTAIN SPORADICUS on his back.They SLAM into the ground, but Sporadicus SPRINGS UP smiling.Mexican Jumping Bean lies on the ground panting.MEXICAN JUMPING BEAN (SUBTITLE)I have never jumped so high before. Maybe this man should ride me more often.They look down at him.MR. MAMMORYDid he say menudo?LYRICOCuando estoy contigo no se ni quien soy no se ni como hacer.BRICKHOUSE TOSSES a SQUAD CAR over his shoulder. It TOPPLES past the Superzeroes.CAPTAIN SPORADICUSI’ll take him from the front, Mammory, you get him from behind.MEXICAN JUMPING BEAN (SUBTITLE)Yes, the shemale is best from behind.Captain Sporadicus snatches a WALKIE-TALKIE from his UTILITY BELT, tosses it to Lyrico.LYRICOWhat’s the frequency, Kenneth?CAPTAIN SPORADICUSI got them at the dollar store. Can they even change frequency?A ROOKIE COPDASHES past them, SCREAMS.A RED BRICKHURTLES over them, SMASHES into the cop’s back.BABY BOY (O.S.)So, The Sporadic Wonder is gonna take a wrecking ball to Brickhouse.Mr. Mammory looks down to find the infantile old man wide awake.MR. MAMMORYJeez, he’s gonna be up all night now.CAPTAIN SPORADICUSI’m not going to hurt Brickhouse. I’m going to save him.BABY BOYCause you could hurt a man made of masonry?CAPTAIN SPORADICUSI am a son of Zeus. If the power strikes me right –MEXICAN JUMPING BEAN (SUBTITLE)I checked on Wikipedia, Zeus didn’t have a son named Sporadicus. But we all know how reliable Wikipedia can be. Am I right?They all stare at Mexican Jumping Bean in confusion.THE MUFFIN MADAMEWe have to get this guy in some ESL classes.AN EXPLOSIONrocks the ground around them. They look up to seeAN ARMORED VEHICLEprotruding from the roof of the museum.CAPTAIN SPORADICUSListen, just because you’re older than the rest of us, doesn’t mean –BABY BOYYeah, I’m old, but I ain’t senile. You’re going about this all wrong.CAPTAIN SPORADICUSWhat do you mean?BABY BOYI mean that Doctor Diego has some reason for using them to destroy things. Maybe he’s sending a message to the world.CAPTAIN SPORADICUSCrazy mad scientist kidnaps the Earth’s superheroes and brainwashes them to send a message. So he’s Michael Moore now.BABY BOYAnd what do you think is happening?CAPTAIN SPORADICUSI think I’m letting a senior citizen cursed with a pecker that never even began working keep me from my destiny.Captain Sporadicus shoves his chin in the air, RACES toward the WAR between Brickhouse and the Police.Baby Boy’s BOTTOM LIP quivers.LYRICOThis is what it sounds like when doves cry.Baby Boy SHRIEKS in anger and indignity.MR. MAMMORYGreat. I already gave him his last bottle. Now what’re we gonna do?Lyrico and Mexican jumping bean STARE at his chest.He looks down to see TWO WET CIRCLES forming on his breasts.MR. MAMMORY (CONT’D)What the hell?The Muffin Madame slings her arm around him.THE MUFFIN MADAMEDon’t worry, hon. It’s perfectly natural.She holds up her hand.A MUFFIN appears out of thin air.THE MUFFIN MADAME (CONT’D)Her ya go. Bran is good for the milk.Captain Sporadicus, SINGED and BEATEN, runs up to them, SCREAMS.CAPTAIN SPORADICUSMy powers…I thought they were working today!LYRICOBecause you had a bad day. You’re taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around.The Superzeroes SCUTTLE away from the museum as debris falls from the sky like a gully washer in hell.Brickhouse RAMS into the FEDERAL BANK TOWER sending it toppling over onto the few remaining POLICEMEN.Determined Mom and Bratty Kid cower behind what remains of the oak doors.DETERMINED MOMI wish we’d gone to the movies.BRATTY KIDI wish dad was here.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
It’s called givin’ up, and I’m doin’ it!
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Ok, lets try.
INT. MUSEUM GIFT-SHOP -- DAY
People looking through various memorabilia. Clerks helping them to choose. Posters and samples hang on the wall.
CLAIR, an average clerk, is interacting with a CUSTOMER in the background.
Near the door: a FAKE ANCIENT VASE, full of FAKE ANCIENT STAFFS, each and everyone of them equipped with its little price tag. A HUGE HAND approaches the vase sorting the staffs. The Hand grabs one of the staffs and pulls it out of the vase.
Now, we see that the hand belongs to BRICKHOUSE, a HULKING figure in a tracksuit. Menace is in his eyes. Brickhouse pass in front of he cashier, UNCARING.
Clerk 1 looks at him. She doesn’t dare to stop him.
Brickhouse passes between the sensors in front the exit-door: THE ALARM GOES OFF. He doesn’t even seem to notice.
Clair turns her head towards the door.CLAIR
Sir?
She JUMPS OVER A TABLE and with a somersault LANDS NEAR BRICKHOUSE. For a moment he stops. Looks her in the eyes.CLAIR (CONT’D)
Sir? You hav--
HE THRUSTS CLAIR ACROSS THE ROOM with a single movement of his right harm.
CLAIR CRASHES IN THE SOUTHERN WALL! Derbies and dust cover her. Slowly and painfully Clair rises.CLAIR (CONT’D)
Ouch...
The Customer she was attending stares in disbelief. Frozen in his position.COSTUMER
Miss? Are you all right? Miss?
Clair stands. She crushes a small brick in her hand. Shakes her head.CLAIR
Oh, not on my watch!
SHE SPRINGS FORWARD in pursuit of Brickhouse.EXT. STREET -- CONTINUOUS
PEDESTRIANS on the street stare in AMAZEMENT as Brickhouse imposing figure passes by. At every step the ground shake. Every time Brickhouse feet touch the ground a new print remains on the pavement.
As a lightening, CLAIR RUN TOWARD BRICKHOUSE avoiding people on the street. She JUMPS.
A HIGH-HEELED KICK lands on Brickhouse’s neck!
SLOWLY BRICKHOUSE TURNS! With unsuspected speed GRABS Clair’s leg. He pulls her up. They stare each other.
A kick hits BRICKHOUSE’s chin. A small cut opens a blood pours out. The hulking man barely acknowledges the pain.
BRICKHOUSE KNEE HITS CLAIR IN THE STOMACH. The woman coughs. Brickouse release his grip on Clair’s leg.SHE HITS THE SIDEWALK.
Brickhouse moves ahead. Clair coughs and rise her head. Blood drips from the side of her mouth.CLAIR
Ehi! We are not done yet!
The man turns, merely annoyed. A soft sigh escapes his mouth.
Clair struggle to get on her feet. Once she’s done, she’s ready for another round.
Pedestrian are in shock. Everyone stare in a mixture of curiosity and fear. A few of them is recording the scene with their mobiles.
Clair attacks again. One of her punches hits Brickhouse on the sternum. This time he feels it. He tries to hit back, but Clair ducks. With a GOOD PLACED KICK she SWEEP HIM OF HIS FEET.
The ground SHAKES. Brickhouse lays, mumbling. He rises and ROARS. He lets go of the Staff.
Clair is ready. Brickhouse rises his fists over his head. Smiles. He lets his clenched FISTS HIT THE PAVEMENT. Cracks open and spread in Clair’s direction. She jumps avoiding the shock.
POLICE CARS ARRIVE and stop just outside the small earthquake’s radius. POLICEMEN GET OF THE CARS AND POINT THEIR GUNS AT BRICKHOUSE.POLICEMAN 1
Stop or we’ll shoot!POLICEMAN 2
Hands on your head! Both of you!
Clair obeys and rise her hands. Brickouse knees and grabs the Staff.POLICEMAN 1
Hands on your head, NOW!
Brickhouse rises. A small PEBBLE is in his right hand. CLAIR NOTICES IT!
Brickhouse trow the Pebble to Policeman 1. Clair springs forward. She shields the Policeman with her own body.
TOO CLOSE! Brickhouse embrace her in a DEATH-HUG!
We can almost hear Clair’s ribs cracking as Brickhouse strangles her. With her last strength reserve, Clair hits Brickhouse’s hears. HE HOWLS. AND LET HER -and the Staff- GO.
Without catching her breath, Clair is ready to finish the job. A strong and precise kick meets Brickhouse right eye. Pain is all over Brickhose’s face as he writhe in agony.
Clair’s breath is short, she won’t endure this much longer. Brickhouse wave a blind fist in her direction. Clair doesn’t move, there is no more strength in her.POLICEMAN 1 (O.C.) (CONT’D)
Ready with the tranquilizer!
Behind Clair, Policeman 2 and Policeman 3 point two tranquilizer guns at Brickhouse.POLICEMAN 1 (CONT’D)
Fire!
A COUPLE OF DARTS PIERCE Brickhouse’s neck. The hulking man moves around a little, aimlessly. Finally, he FALLS.EXT. STREET -- LATER
A SWAT team is bringing away a sleeping and tied Brickhouse. Cops and other officers are cleaning the area. Clair is standing near an ambulance, Policeman 1 is with her.POLICEMAN 1
You took a good beating. Did he stole some kind of ancient artifact from the museum? Dose it have magic powers or stuff like that?
Clair looks at him, absolutely surprised.CLAIR
What?! This piece of junk?
She holds up the staff, looking amused and confused.CLAIR (CONT’D)
It’s 3.99$ At the gift shop.
Policeman 1 stares in disbelief and we...FADE TO BLACK.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
FADE IN:
ON A FLASHING LIGHT
sirens blaring. JOHN WASHINGTON sprints down a darkened corridor, gun and assorted paraphernalia CLINKING on his security guard utility belt. He bursts into --
INT. SECURITY CONTROL – NIGHT
-- and screeches to a halt. Senior security guard, MILO OTIS, blankly stares at a monitor.
JOHN
The authorities on the way? A confirmation call should have been sent out and --
Milo casually regards him.
JOHN
What’s wrong with you? This is what we’re trained for.
MILO
Take a look at this.
John approaches, ranting the whole way.
JOHN
Section five-fourteen clearly states, in the event of a robbery that we are to--
(catches sight of the monitor)
You’ve got to be kidding me.
MILO
I know, right.
A nice glimpse at the monitor and we finally get to see what these two men see --
MILO (PRE-LAP)
Guy’s gotta be as dumb as a brick shithouse.
INT. DISPLAY ROOM – NIGHT
A BEHEMOTH of a man pounds on the six-foot-thick steel reenforced doors. We’re talking Andre the Giant’s big brother, here. But what’s really disturbing is --
-- he’s crying. Tears rolling down his cheeks.
BEHEMOTH
Come on. Let me out. Anyone?
The room is in a pathetic state. Glass everywhere from a smashed display case.
Aside from a handful of knuckle indentations, the security bars are doing their job.
BEHEMOTH
It wasn’t supposed to go like this. Just give me a do over, okay?
In the behemoth’s hand, what appears to be a toothpick. To us mortals, the Scepter of Meise, the pride of the museum. Resigned to his fate, the behemoth slumps on the floor. A steel door slides up behind him.
Milo and John creep into the room, guns drawn.
MILO
That’s good. Just take it easy.
The behemoth hops to his feet, reeling from the armed men.
JOHN
Christ, he’s big.
MILO
Now c’mon fella. Just put it down. We aren’t here to hurt ya.
The behemoth cowers in the corner.
BEHEMOTH
Please. Could you just, uh, put the guns away.
MILO
That’s not gonna happen, son.
JOHN
This can go down nice and easy. Just be cool. Backup is on the way.
BEHEMOTH
I don’t like guns.
JOHN
Just be cool, I said!
At that moment --
CRASH!!!
-- a gaping hole is blown through the wall. Raining debris and brick knocks the occupants to the ground. The Scepter of Meise skids across the floor. As the dust settles, we see --
THE MAN
hovering over our heads. Cape billowing in the breeze.
JOHN
Is that--?
MILO
It’s him. The Man.
THE MAN
No need to fear, gentlemen. I’ve got this under control.
BEHEMOTH
Great. Just great.
JOHN
Uh, Mr. Man, sir. We have the situation well in hand. The room is secure. Backup is on the way.
THE MAN
Nonsense.
The Man dive-bombs the Behemoth with a smattering of punches. The Behemoth flies into a previously pristine display case with a thundering crash.
The Man, arm locked back for a punch, charges. The Behemoth rolls out of the way. Both men on their feet.
BEHEMOTH
C’mon. We all gotta make a living somehow, right?
THE MAN
Quiet, foul evil do-er.
BEHEMOTH
Oh my god, you really talk like that?
The Man swings wildly at the Behemoth. Quite the hot head.
BEHEMOTH
Stop it. I don’t want to hurt anyone.
The Behemoth catches The Man’s hand. Both pushing into each other at full strength. A stalemate.
THE MAN
Relent!
BEHEMOTH
Well, I don’t want to go to jail, either.
Behemoth pulls The Man forward, catching him off guard. Unleashes a massive uppercut. The Man rag dolls into a chandelier.
BEHEMOTH
This was a mistake. A misunderstanding, okay?
The Behemoth runs to the corner, swiping the scepter off the ground. He turns to --
-- The Man’s fist. Ow! For a small guy, he packs a wallop. Behemoth hits the steel wall, leaving a giant’s impression. The scepter falls from his hand.
The Man grabs him by the feet and swings him through three pillars. The security guards dive for cover. An overhead suspended Chinese Junk sways with the impact.
The Behemoth, bloodied and beaten. The Man saunters over.
THE MAN
The cards of fate have been dealt. And you, my friend, are holding a losing hand. When will villains like you learn, that, like always, yes, good once again triumphs over evil. Let this be a message to your dark-hearted brethren, until that day comes, I, THE MAN, will always be here, fighting the good fight.
BEHEMOTH
Will you just, shut up. I mean, seriously.
The Behemoth kicks out the remaining support pillar. The Man has just enough time to look up before --
-- the Chinese Junk crashes to the floor on top of him.
The Behemoth lumbers over to the Scepter of Meise, holding his shoulder. Retrieves it.
BEHEMOTH
Thanks for the helping hand. But I can manage from here.
And escapes out the newly created exit, courtesy of The Man. Through the hole --
EXT. CITY STREETS – NIGHT
The Behemoth jumps from car top to car top, smashing everything in his way.
INT. DISPLAY ROOM – NIGHT
Complete carnage. Every artifact in ruins. Milo rises out of the muck. John dusts himself off. The Man--
-- lies there.
JOHN
Jesus. Is he--?
Milo checks his pulse.
MILO
Out cold.
JOHN
Some hero.
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
INT. THREE LITTLE PIGS CAFE – DAY
A hip twenty-something hangout à la Central Perk. AMAL, that guy you call to fix your internet even though he’s in frickin’ India, balances a gnarled staff on his open palms and runs his eyes over its ancient curves.AMAL
(in awe)
I can’t believe you stole Ten Minute’s Chastity... stick.BRICKHOUSE (O.S.)
Chastity Staff, Amal. Staff.AMAL
Yes. Her most prized possession, Mr. Brickhouse.
Amal turns to the behemoth of a manly-man sitting beside him on the long sofa. This is BRICKHOUSE. Seriously pouty. Seriously sipping a hot choc. Scone in hand.BRICKHOUSE
(snorting)
Not that she’d even notice.AMAL
She noticed when you blew up the U.N.BRICKHOUSE
But she dated Doom Magnet anyway, didn’t she?AMAL
Doom Magnet is a man whore, sir.BRICKHOUSE
I don’t get it, Amal. I was mean to her. I trampled her dreams. Crushed her self-confidence. Ignored her. Why isn’t she kowtowing at my feet?AMAL
I find when there is a connection problem, it’s the settings.
(beat)
Or the router.BRICKHOUSE
(leaning forward)
There is nothing wrong with my router.
Amal shrugs and pokes the volume button on the over-hanging flat-screen TV with the Chastity staff.BRICKHOUSE
Hey, hey!
(grabbing the staff)
Chastity is not a toy! Do you know what she would do to me if I broke this?AMAL
(mimicking the sound of a cracking whip)
Ka-cha! Maybe it’s time to change ISPs.BRICKHOUSE
Ten Minutes is not an Insane Serial Pyscho! She is a sociopath. There’s a difference.
(tearing up)
Maybe I should’ve told her that more often...
Amal eyes drift to the mutedTV SCREEN
News flash: a dashing Captain America-type in green tights reigns fire and brimstone down on Tokyo.
Bumper: “DOOM MAGNET IS COMING FOR YOU, BRICKHOUSE.”OFF TV SCREEN
AMAL
(worried)
I think you should return the stick to the Museum of Ubiquities, Mr. Brickhouse... before Doom Magnet finds you-- I mean, out. Finds out.
Brickhouse crushes the cup of hot chocolate in his hands.BRICKHOUSE
You think I’m afraid of Mr. Four-Feet-Nothing?AMAL
N--no, Mr. Brickhouse. It’s just that he’s so... evilBRICKHOUSE
(advancing on Amal)
You think that I’m not villain enough?AMAL
That’s not what I--
Brickhouse flips over the coffee table, showering Amal with scones and jelly.BRICKHOUSE
I AM MR. BRICKHOUSE.
(poking Amal with the stick)I AM EVIL INCARNATE.
DING! Amal, now huddled in a corner, pulls out a Blackberry.AMAL
Your, uh, wi-fi’s back up, sir.BRICKHOUSE
(a tense beat)
Finally!
Brickhouse snatches the Blackberry and plops onto the sofa, crossing his legs.AMAL
(picking up a scone)
I’ll be able to feed my family for a month. Thank you, Mr. Brickhouse.
As Amal turns to leave...BRICKHOUSE
Now wait, Amal, before you-- go back... to wherever it is you come from. You’re my buddy, right?AMAL
Okay.BRICKHOUSE
And as buddies, you’d tell me the truth right?AMAL
(beat)
Okay.
Brickhouse pumps himself up, ready to open his heart...BRICKHOUSE
I know I’m not the best person in the world. But I could be worse. And I can be!
(hesitating)
Do you think she’d notice... if I blew up China?
Amal takes the Chastity staff from Brickhouse.AMAL
Sometimes when the problem cannot be fixed remotely, the only solution... is to give the stick back.BRICKHOUSE
(giving Amal a look)
How long have you been my tech guy, Amal?AMAL
Seven years, Mr. Brickhouse.BRICKHOUSE
You, my friend, are a genius.AMAL
(perking up)
An evil genius?BRICKHOUSE
No.
Brickhouse rises to his feet and grabs the Chastity Staff and scone from a disappointed Amal. He heads out.AMAL
Where are you going, Mr. Brickhouse?BRICKHOUSE
I’ve got Ten Minutes to kill. Then China had better watch its back!
(stuffing the scone in his mouth)
Thanks for the troubleshoot, Amal!AMAL
Any... time?
Off Amal’s “what the hell did I just do?” look...
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
Portable flood lights over power the gentleness of the display and house lighting in the museum’s “Treasures of Conquest” exhibit room.
A four person FORENSICS TEAM work within the confines of the yellow crime taped exhibit room, their focus: a display stand, built to hold something tall and proud. It’s lit, but criminally empty.
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
Down the steps ...
EXT. LEONARDO DA VINCI AVE. – CONTINUOUS
Weaving through traffic ...
EXT. MILLHOUSE APARTMENTS – CONTINUOUS
Through the door ...
INT. MILLHOUSE APARTMENTS – CONTINUOUS
... into the dingy apartment building and up five flights of stairs to apartment 503 as DETECTIVE PERRY (early 30s, mop of brown hair, fit frame) and TAYLOR (mid 30s, balding, permanent squint) knock.
They wait a moment. No answer.
TAYLOR
(loud)
Well, no answer.
PERRY
(playing along)
But, we got ourselves a warrant.
TAYLOR
You want to kick it in, or should -
The door opens a foot. Any chance of seeing into the apartment is squashed by the large – in both height and width – frame of WARREN VON BRICHÜSE.
He tries to keep his face pleasant.
BRICHÜSE
(slight Eastern-European accent)
Officers, how may I help you?
Perry’s too busy eyeing him to speak – there’s something about Brichüse ...
TAYLOR
First, by letting us in ...
He waits for Perry to pick up the sentence. It’s a no go.
TAYLOR
... and second, by offering us something to drink.
Taylor slaps Perry’s arm – it snaps him out of it.
PERRY
(to Brichüse)
Have we met?
Brichüse eyes Perry now, and is about to respond, but Taylor pushes his way between the two, trying to get in.
BRICHÜSE
(stands his ground)
My place is a mess. Please, let me tidy up.
Perry snaps fully back into partner mode.
PERRY
The warrant doesn’t care about crumbs.
A beat as Brichüse weighs his options, then steps aside.
INT. BRICHÜSE’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
He shuts the door, then takes long, quick steps that rattle the apartment and gets him into the living room ahead of the Detectives.
Crossing his arms, Brichüse takes residence in one corner of the room.
His massive, “how did his mother ever give birth to something that big?” bulk just manages to hide the diamond shaped, gold and jewel encrusted head of Emperor Shidon the Second’s staff.
Draped on a chair, next to the staff, and also protected from sight by Brichüse’s often-gawked-at dimensions is a dark red spandex suit. The red speckled with brick texture and lined with horizontal and vertical dark grey stripes.
The Detectives start poking around the room.
TAYLOR
Mr. Von Brichüse – can I call you Warren?
BRICHÜSE
The former is fine.
A pause as Taylor takes this in – will he respond to the challenge?
BRICHÜSE
(thinking better of it)
It’s so rare for someone to get the pronunciation right the first time – why diminish the feat?
TAYLOR
(nods)
Mr. Von Brichüse ... how do you like your job at the museum?
BRICHÜSE
(shrugs)
It’s a job.
PERRY
An assignment.
TAYLOR
Just temporary.
BRICHÜSE
As temporary as any of my postings from the company are.
Perry is up close to him now, inspecting Brichüse, almost like he was a piece of furniture in the apartment.
PERRY
So you’re pretty much all over the city.
Brichüse shifts his weight, keeping his bulk between the staff and Perry.
BRICHÜSE
And I see a lot of faces.
TAYLOR
But this might be your last gig for the company.
BRICHÜSE
(shrugs)
I wasn’t on duty when the staff was stolen.
Brichüse realizes his mistake almost as soon as he puts the period on the sentence. Taylor takes a direct interest in him, and comes up alongside Perry.
TAYLOR
So you got the news before everyone else outside of the museum?
The staff behind Brichüse starts to vibrate.
Brichüse hears the buzz of the vibration and fights an urge to look back at it.
PERRY
Or were you inside the museum before -
A loud, WRENCHING SOUND as the staff punches a hole through the floor on its sudden, rapid descent.
Brichüse is dying to look back, to see what just happened, but a fervent desire to appear nonchalant keeps his neck locked.
TAYLOR
What the hell was that?!
BRICHÜSE
Hmm?
The floor groans and the section Brichüse stands on falls, sending him and Taylor down.
Perry is suddenly on the other side of the room, safely watching the two men disappear – one CRASH following another as Brichüse’s record setting density sends them down five floors, plus basement.
INT. SUBTERRANEAN TUNNEL – CONTINUOUS
Brichüse hits the floor, landing with solid finality, the staff embedded in the ground between his spread legs.
Taylor hits, and bounces, landing a few feet away.
The dust settles, revealing debris and Perry, who moves to Taylor’s side.
PERRY
Nate -
Taylor groans, which is answered by a groan from Brichüse.
Perry pulls his gun out, ready for Brichüse to move.
Brichüse is too groggy – he sits, slumped, holding his head as a piece of clothing drifts down from the heavens/apartments above.
A red, brick-like spandex suit drapes over Brichüse.
PERRY
(realizing)
Brickhouse ...
Brichüse pulls the spandex suit aside – he starts to stand, keeping his eyes on Perry.
Perry grabs Taylor
PERRY
Come on, we have to get -
The staff flies free from the ground and shoots into the darkness of the cavern.
Brichüse looks at Perry, then turns and runs – surprisingly fast for a man of his size – after the staff.
Perry hesitates.
TAYLOR
(weak)
Get him – go!
Perry sets Taylor down and heads after Brichüse, not quite matching the speed of the criminal known as Brickhouse.
He follows the curve of the sub-metropolitan tunnel, then stops, looking back. Taylor is out of sight.
Perry kneels and takes his shoes and socks off.
He stands and in a blink he’s running at speeds that make him a barely perceptible blur.
Light at the end of the tunnel – most of it blocked by Brichüse’s bulk.
Perry can’t stop in time – he slams into Brichüse, sending the man into the open air -
EXT. CLIFFSIDE – CONTINUOUS
The cavern ends abruptly over the rocky coastline a few hundred feet below.
Brichüse manages to grab the lip of the cavern floor with the tips of his fingers. His other hand grabs Perry’s wrist and pulls him back toward the cliffside.
The kinetic energy subsides, both men catch their breath as they hang.
Brichüse looks down at Perry, with a big smile.
BRICHÜSE
(speaking loudly, over the wind and the crashing waves)
We have met before, Captain G-Force.
PERRY
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
BRICHÜSE
Stop it. If we’re teaming up, we just accept the cards as is.
PERRY
Teaming up? I’m not helping you steal that staff.
BRICHÜSE
Who’s stealing? That staff belongs to the Wikoa tribe – I’m giving it back to its rightful owners.
Brichüse starts to pull himself up, dragging Perry along with him.
PERRY
Ownership is decided by law and diplomacy, not hired muscle.
Brichüse gets them into the cavern, both men winded from the excursion.
Perry sits up, leaning against the wall of the tunnel.
BRICHÜSE
I’m giving them a good discount.
PERRY
Which I’m sure you’ll write off.
BRICHÜSE
(shrugs)
That’s between me and my accountant.
Brichüse stands up.
BRICHÜSE
We can add a ton of relevance to this property law debate if we actually had the property in question.
Perry stands up next to him.
Both men look out over the sea toward a menacing, low hanging cloud bank that shudders with a violent lightning storm.
PERRY
And how do you propose we do that?
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:10 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES -- DAY
A secret room in the bowels of the Museum. Flickering fluorescent lighting, stainless steel tables, chairs. MADAM MORTAR (30s) stands over a large figure strapped to a table. Beautiful, in that hot, evil kind of way, she’s flanked by two large HENCHMEN in tight fitting suits.
One of the goons holds an old crooked wooden staff, about eight feet tall. The top of the staff is carved into an oval opening, like the eyelet of a needle.
MADAM MORTAR
So, what now, Brick? Did you really think you’d get away with it?
Her eyes gaze upon the strapped figure. This is BRICKHOUSE. A behemoth of a man. Looks like Michelangelo got loose on a slab of marble. All muscles, veins, sinews.
He strains against his restraints. Nothing doing. He’s not going anywhere.
BRICKHOUSE
Yeah. I thought you and me, we’d ride off into the sunset. You know. Happily ever after. I ain’t been the same since you left.
MADAM MORTAR
Fell apart without me, huh? Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
BRICKHOUSE
So, whaddya plan on doin’ with the staff? You know I’m the only one who knows how to make it work.
MADAM MORTAR
Well, I figure me and the guys can convince you to fill us in. Ya know... for old time’s sake.
She grabs the staff. Points it suggestively at Brick. Grins.
MADAM MORTAR
You still like to have things stuck up your --
BRICKHOUSE
Okay, enough of the pillow talk. You know I’m never gonna tell you. And you know Dumb and Dumber here are never leavin’ this room alive. So --
Madam Mortar lunges at Brick, presses the staff hard against his throat. He coughs, struggles to breathe.
MADAM MORTAR
You’re in no position to -- Tell me now before I kill you, you son of a bitch! Tell me!
Brick turns red, gasps for breath. She pushes harder. Sees he’s dying. She lets up a bit, looks into his eyes, when --
He bursts free from the restraints, grabs the staff. In one smooth motion, he uses the staff to slap Madam Mortar on the side of the head, not hard enough to kill her, but hard enough to send her crashing into a chair.
Brick leaps up, jabs the staff into Dumb’s crotch, doubling him over. Brick cocks his leg and PUNTS Dumb’s chin with such force that his teeth SHATTER. As Dumber rushes to him, knife drawn, Brick uses the staff to block Dumber’s thrusts. But one gets through, RIPS a long tear in Brick’s pumped up bicep.
This just pisses Brick off even more.
Brick now wields the staff like a Kung Fu master. Dumber tries to avoid the heavy pokes but soon is worn down by the constant pounding. Brick SWINGS the staff hard at Dumber’s ankles, connecting. Bones shattered, Dumber falls like a ton of... bricks.
Brick walks over, puts his right foot on Dumber’s chest. Glares down at him.
BRICKHOUSE
Did I not warn you two fools? Not. Leavin’. Alive.
With two hands, Brick raises the staff as high as he can, grimaces. With all his might, he SLAMS the uncarved end of the staff into the bridge of Dumber’s nose. There’s a sickening CRUNCH as the staff slides through bone and cartilage, knocks into the floor under Dumber’s head.
Brick catches his breath, admires his handiwork. He flinches, as the barrel of a 357 Magnum DIGS into his ribs.
MADAM MORTAR
Do you know how hard it is to find good help these days? Asshole! Did you have to kill them?
She holds the gun tight against his chest. The left side of her face is a swollen, purple mess.
BRICKHOUSE
Hey, you know me. All or nothin’. Now, you wanna get that thing outta my ribs?
MADAM MORTAR
C’mon, Brick. Tell me. What’s it to you? This thing’s no good to you. And we both know it shouldn’t be sitting in a goddamn museum, collecting dust. I can harness it’s power. Use it to --
BRICKHOUSE
To what? Do good? Really? It belongs in the museum and that’s where it’s gonna be.
MADAM MORTAR
Don’t make me... I would die a little too.
BRICKHOUSE
Then put down the gun. The staff is useless to you without the spell. And you know I’ll never --
MADAM MORTAR
What happened to us?
BRICKHOUSE
You mean other than you becomin’ an uber criminal? I’d have to go with that.
She snarls, digs the gun in deeper.
MADAM MORTAR
I’ll do it, Brick. I really will. I’ve got nothing to lose.
BRICKHOUSE
No. Just your soul.
He turns slowly, grabs the gun. Her eyes widen, glisten. Then they harden as she pulls the trigger and --
Nothing happens.
She fires again, and again. Just a harmless CLICK CLICK CLICK. She looks up at Brick. Both look confused.
BRICKHOUSE
Seriously? You woulda actually killed me? Damn. And ya think you know a person...
He drops the gun, backhands the unswollen side of her face. Catches her before she hits the ground. Slings her limp body over his shoulder, carries her to the door.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m gettin’ too old for this crap.
There’s a trail of blood from his arm on the floor. He opens the door, exits extra carefully, avoids bumping her against the frame.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
The museum is at the top of a long set of steps. BRICKHOUSE stands near the entrance, holding an ancient staff. He’s built like a middle-linebacker, wide and bulky.
Police cars create a semi-circle on the street below, blocking off the steps as a police helicopter circles overhead, spotlighting BRICKHOUSE. LT. HAMLIN, standing behind the cars, raises a megaphone.
LT. HAMLIN
All right, Brickhouse. Put down the staff and put your hands behind your head.
BRICKHOUSE
(shouting) I don’t want to hurt nobody! Just let me go! I don’t want to hurt nobody!
LT. HAMLIN
Then surrender peacefully.
BRICKHOUSE winces in pain and shakes his head.
BRICKHOUSE
(frustrated) I don’t want to hurt nobody!
BRICKHOUSE puts his left hand to the back of his head, behind his ear, grimacing in pain, his head tilting forward, his knees bending slightly. With a grunt, he begins moving down the steps, slowly, ploddingly, cradling the staff with his right arm.
LT. HAMLIN
Prepare to open fire!
STEEL EAGLE swoops down, carrying PROFESSOR STANFORD ALGUIN, landing next to LT. HAMLIN. STEEL EAGLE is a black woman in her early 30s, close to six feet tall, and extremely fit. STANFORD is the stereotypical geeky-yet-handsome professor type.
STEEL EAGLE
Hold your fire.
LT. HAMLIN
What the...
STANFORD
That staff may contain a microfusion power source. If a bullet hits it in the wrong place, we could be standing at ground zero of an H-bomb explosion.
LT. HAMLIN
Is this guy for real?
STEEL EAGLE
Start shooting and we’ll find out.
LT. HAMLIN raises the megaphone.
LT HAMLIN
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
STEEL EAGLE takes off and lands on the museum steps in BRICKHOUSE’s path. He pauses.
STEEL EAGLE
Can’t let you take that, Harry.
BRICKHOUSE
Please don’t make me hurt you.
STEEL EAGLE
I thought you went straight, Harry. What’s Debbie going to think?
BRICKHOUSE grimaces in pain, lowering his head. When he raises it, his left hand shoots out, connecting with STEEL EAGLE’S lower ribcage, sending her flying down the stairs and into the line of police cars. She hits a car and sends it skidding out of the blockade. BRICKHOUSE takes off running, barrelling down the stairs and through the gap. The police jump in their cars and follow him. BRICKHOUSE hops up onto the sidewalk and slaps parked cars out into the paths of the police cars as he runs by.
Shaking off the hit, STEEL EAGLE flies after BRICKHOUSE, catching him under the arms and lifting him up into the sky. As she rises, a shadowy character on a nearby rooftop fires a stinger missile, hitting STEEL EAGLE in the back and knocking her for a loop. She drops BRICKHOUSE but he only falls about 20 feet, seeming to come to a stop in mid-air. Next to him a portal opens in what appears to be a cloaked ship. HENCHMAN 1 grabs the staff from the dazed BRICKHOUSE and then shoves him over the edge of the craft, sending him plummeting to the street below. The portal closes.
Regaining her balance, STEEL EAGLE, flies as fast as she can, catching BRICKHOUSE a few feet before he would hit the street.
INT. CLOAKED SHIP
HENCHMAN 1 pilots the ship while speaking into a radio.
HENCHMAN 1
The artefact has been secured.
DR. REPTISS (V.O.)
Good. Make sure you tidy up the loose ends.
HENCHMAN 1 punches a code into a keypad.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
BRICKHOUSE sits in the middle of the street, STEEL EAGLE standing in front of him.
STEEL EAGLE
What the hell is going on, Harry?
BRICKHOUSE cries out in pain and falls over onto his side, curling up in agony. Under the skin, behind his left ear, a light is flashing and a beeping noise accompanies it. The flashing and beeping become quicker.
STEEL EAGLE
Oh guano.
STEEL EAGLE grabs BRICKHOUSE and flies upward. The sound of beeping gets faster and faster. BRICKHOUSE looks sadly at STEEL EAGLE. She throws his body upward just before the beeping becomes a solid tone and BRICKHOUSE explodes in a burst of light.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:26 pm
EXT. 5TH AVENUE – NIGHT
A green muscle car screams up 5th Avenue and SHRIEKS to a stop, a conspicuous “V” hood ornament filling the frame.
Dr. Axon Callosum exits the car, looking on as Victoria Mile transforms back into a gorgeous woman.AXON
Gotta hurt when you do that.VICTORIA
Only when you ride me too hard.
A THUNDEROUS EXPLOSION is heard. They turn to see --EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A plume of smoke misting through the front doors.AXON
We’re too late.INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – MAIN HALL
Axon and Victoria survey the damage. Either a class five tornado hit or...
They turn to a giant wall to see a gaping hole, an aperture in the shape of a man -- if the man were twenty feet tall.
They peek through the hole and stare down a horizontal abyss. Every wall in every room shares the same punch hole. It extends beyond sight into the darkness.VICTORIA
We’ve no time. Ride me.AXON
Victoria, I hardly...
Victoria transforms into a green motorcycle; Axon mounts with trepidation. They launch through the hole...INT. MUSEUM – TRAVELING
Axon races from one room to the next, swerving around ancient relics...AXON
This place isn’t as boring at 60 miles per hour.
Axon looks ahead where the floor has given out.VICTORIA
I see it.
Victoria finds some displaced lumber, launches off a plank --
THEY LEAP OVER THE CHASM, landing safely on the other side of an arboretum. Axon looks around, notices they are in...INT. NATURAL HISTORY HALL – JUNGLE ROOM
An ANIMATRONIC STEGOSAURUS moves with about as much sophistication as Abe Lincoln at Disney World.STEGOSAURUS
I come from the late Jurassic period, over 150 million...
Rising beside the massive stegosaurus, but more frightening, is an equally large creature...
BRICKHOUSE. He pivots around to the robot, his motion very fluid. Very real. He steams with rage, lifting his staff.
With the acumen of a long bo master, he delivers a crushing blow to the dinosaur, it’s head reeling across the floor.STEGOSAURUS (CONT’D)
(voice warbling)
Years... ago...
Contented, Brickhouse turns to the solid wall in front of him. He lifts his staff as pole vault, leaps feet first...EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Police have a perimeter around the building, but these TWO COPS seem bored on the non-business end of the building.COP 1
They say it’s Roid Rage. Got all the symptoms. Balding head, mood swings, and of course...COP 2
Tiny balls.
Behind them the wall disintegrates and Brickhouse descends with the rubble, falling between two police cars.COP 1
I didn’t mean nothing by it!
Using his staff as a BARBELL, Brickhouse benche presses both cars above his chest. With one more brisk movement, he launches them fifty feet into the air.
The police scramble as the cars hurtle back to Earth, smashing into pieces as they hit the pavement.
From the same hole, the motorcycle launches into the air, landing again on 5th Avenue. Axon spots Brickhouse above the treeline as he pounds into Central Park.AXON
He’s going to the lake.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK – NIGHT
Pedestrians scatter as the behemoth tosses benches and hot dog stands with ease. He arrives at a body of water.
Then sees BRICKET...
Held prisoner on an island the middle of the lake is a creature not unlike Brickhouse, but with feminine features.
Axon and Victoria arrive as SIRENS BLARE in the distance.AXON
Bricket!
Brickhouse screams with rage and wades into the water. As his feet touch the water, steam rises, his skin melting.
He SCREAMS, but trudges on, using the stick as support.AXON (CONT’D)
He’s not going to make it.VICTORIA
I got an idea.EXT. LAKE – NIGHT
Brickhouse is trying in vain to walk across the pool, but his legs are dissolving too fast. It all looks hopeless when...
A GREEN SCARAB BOAT SPLASHES into the lake. Axon, behind the wheel, motions to Brickhouse.AXON
Get on you fat son of bitch!
Brickhouse is touched by this gesture. He struggles onto the boat. We see his legs are now flaming pink molten goo.
They arrive at the island. Brickhouse extends the staff to Bricket. She grabs it, leaps onto the boat with him.
But their combined weight is too much. The boat crumbles, sinking on its way back.AXON (CONT’D)
Uh-oh.
(beat)
You can do it, Victoria.VICTORIA
I... don’t... think...
The boat dips below the surface. Axon is breathing water. Brickhouse and Bricket SCREAM, water boiling their feet.
Brickhouse grabs his lover and leaps to the shore. They’re safe. They turn to the lake -- nothing but bubbles.
Then... two faces pop to the surface. Axon and Victoria gasp for air. Brickhouse smiles, holding Bricket close.EXT. LAKE SHORE – NIGHT
Axon and Victoria crawl to the beach when a POLICE CAPTAIN approaches.CAPTAIN
Alright, Dr. Callosum, where is he?AXON
Who?CAPTAIN
The monster!
Axon is confused, then looks just behind the captain where a regular human couple embrace, both of their legs burned.
Axon smiles, and the Captain turns.CAPTAIN (CONT’D)
Are they witnesses?AXON
They didn’t see a thing.
The couple retreats into the darkness.AXON (CONT’D)
You’ll find what you’re looking for at the bottom of that pond.VICTORIA
Probably dissolved by now.CAPTAIN
No use in draining it then. Serves them right, public menaces.
(beat)
Thank you, Doctor. Once again, our city is indebted to you.AXON
Captain, why wouldn’t you listen? We just needed to calm him down.CAPTAIN
A nice theory, Doctor. But I live in the real world. Good evening.
As he shuffles off, Axon and Victoria turn to each other.VICTORIA
Where were we?CAPTAIN
Taking a joyride.
They kiss.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Just getting into writing. This is literally the first scene I have ever written. Thank you John for giving me an outlet to try where I have no excuse not to start!
EXT. STEPS OF MUSEUM -- DAY
We follow AERO gliding through the sky down towards the Earth.
BRICKHOUSE stands in anticipation of Aero’s arrival, clutching the Staff of Mysteries tightly in his left hand, a thin red aura pulsing around his entire body.
AERO
I see somebody found a new toy.
BRICKHOUSE
(laughing victoriously)
Do you have any idea the power this staff grants me?
All manner of small rocks, no larger than a fist, LIFT OFF the ground surrounding Brickhouse and orbit the head of the staff.
Faster and faster.
Brickhouse flicks his wrist towards AERO sending all of the rocks SOARING to their target.
A GUST OF AIR effortlessly redirects the stones from Aero’s path.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(taunting, unfazed)
Why don’t you come down here and try that?
Leaves DANCE in circles a few feet from Brickhouse and form a swirling vortex.
Brickhouse holds the staff upright in front of him with both hands, standing it perfectly straight on the ground.
The tornado drifts closer.
Brickhouse’s aura grows a deeper red.
Once centered in on Brickhouse the tornado GROWS exponentially, TEARING apart several of the museum steps and DISLODGING two pillars.
Aero raises his arms, calling out to the tornado to lift Brickhouse into the air.
The tornado lifts.
Brickhouse does not.
Aero’s concentration is scattered as his trusty attack fails.
The tornado subsides, the debris falls to earth except
CRASH!
A column of solid marble DRIVES into Aero’s gut with the force of a battering ram.
Aero plummets to the ground below, a pocket of air cushioning his fall.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Now you will understand the true strength of the earth!
Brickhouse PLUNGES the staff down through the earth, lodging it several feet deep, only the head remaining above ground.
The vertical disk that surrounds white sphere of the staff head separates from the sphere and itself breaks into three concentric circles.
The three circles begin to SPIN clockwise, though not in unison, around the center sphere which glows a deep red matching the aura of its wielder.
CRACK!
Three small cracks form leading away from the staff leaving noticeable trail.
With a THUNDEROUS ROAR the cracks expand tenfold.
Chasms form which BREAK into more and more chasms.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Incredible!
Aero, startled by the earthshaking, regains his composure
AERO
You must stop! The whole world will be...
An unbearably bright light coalesces at the center of the sphere.
A piercing HUMMING sound is emitted from the light.
BRICKHOUSE
Annihilated.
Immediately the light seemingly folds inward on itself, greedily stealing back all of the light it saw fit to share.
The condensed ball dives down the shaft of the Staff of Mysteries and through the Earth, EVAPORATING all it touches and greatly intensifying the earthquake.
The chasms twist and turn and loop around with the grace and purpose of a figure skater, creating an archipelago of the mainland, preparing for a
MASSIVE EXPLOSION which shakes the core of the earth.
Wave after wave of outward expansion FLOW upwards as though so many ripples from a pebble in a lake.
A final, much larger wave pulses and every single newly created island is FORCEFULLY EXPELLED into the atmosphere, each one maintaining its angle and tracing a perfect line away from the core of the earth.
The entire planet is TORN APART into millions of pieces all making their way out into space.
The molten core of the Earth remains stationary, though now tripled in size.
EXT. FLOATING ISLANDS -- DAY
Brickhouse leaps from island to island excitedly, staff in hand. Each landing causing the underside to shed dust and stones into the air below.
Aero is on a larger island.
Coming to grips with the situation he gathers himself and lifts off over the ground a few feet until
Brickhouse SLAMS into the far side of Aero’s island pushing his side down towards the core creating a massive see-saw effect, forcing the ground under Aero to rush up and slap him out of the air.
BRICKHOUSE
Leaving so soon?
AERO
(gathering himself)
Why have you done this?
BRICKHOUSE
I have liberated the Earth from the vermin infesting it. This is what the world wanted!
AERO
But you will die. Everyone will die.
BRICKHOUSE
(amused)
The humans and their pathetic saviors will perish yes. But as for me
Brickhouse readies the Staff horizontally behind his waist
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
You severely...
THWACK! The end of the Staff smashes against Aero’s head.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Underestimate...
OOF! The head of the Staff comes crashing down onto Aero from an overhead strike.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
The power...
Brickhouse takes a golf swing at Aero, HITTING HIM squarely in the stomach, launching him towards space above the island.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Of my new toy!
Aero floats up to the very border between the Earth’s atmosphere and space. The air itself forms a barrier preventing Aero’s body from leaving its grasp.
The air swirls around Aero’s body energizing him, he is down but not out.
Aero lands back on the island with Brickhouse invigorated and angry.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(overconfident)
Welcome back!
Aero makes numerous slashing and pushing motions directed at Brickhouse.
Every slice and shove is met with a corresponding force of air that attempts to cut away Brickhouses skin with little to no actual effect.
Brickhouse shifts stances to prepare a counterattack but looks up, noticing their close proximity to space.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Why don’t we take this outside?
AERO
Gladly.
Aero extends his palms upwards at his sides and air collects around him.
The sky turns from blue to pitch black as they leave the atmosphere.
EXT. SPACE -- DAY
Aero falls to the ground as though crippled.
Brickhouse attempts an evil laugh but no sound comes out and this amuses him.
Feeling omnipotent Brickhouse approaches Aero and kicks him in the gut, further amused by Aero’s body’s reaction to the attack without gravity.
Brickhouse stomps the floating island, releasing chunks of rock into space.
He waves his scepter below as though attaching an invisible hook to a boulder and flings it up around the island and then towards Aero.
The boulder flies towards Aero and veers around him, puzzling Brickhouse.
He tries again, and again, each time the boulder nearly missing.
Enraged, Brickhouse grasps the Staff in both hands and delivers a powerful overhand swing at Aero but before it strikes
Aero looks up from his prone position and we see a thin layer of air surrounding him providing him with energy.
Aero flings both arms forward, launching a stream of air directly at the hands of Brickhouse STRIKING them with a force completely opposite the direction Brickhouse’s hands are moving.
Brickhouse is completely caught off guard and the Staff is released into space.
Brickhouse immediately GASPS for breath and drops to all fours, panicking.
Aero glides up and grasps the Staff of Mysteries, his thin layer of air immediately EXPANDING into a larger flowing blue aura.
Aero dives down and grabs Brickhouse at the chest and carries him down into the atmosphere.
EXT. THE SKY AMONG FLOATING ISLANDS -- DAY
Upon reentry, a barrier of air lends protection from the heat and once through Aero soars straight for the core at supersonic speeds.
AERO
It’s time to take you home.
Dodging past floating islands and scattered debris, Aero approaches the enlarged molten core of the Earth.
Aero reverses his momentum to stop before entering the core but before doing so hurls Brickhouse into the fire below.
The flames greet him with a small POOF.
Aero takes the Staff in two hands in front of him the way Brickhouse did before the courthouse.
The three circular disks begin SPINNING rapidly counterclockwise.
The white sphere at the center of the staff head glows an intense blue.
Aero THRUSTS the Staff downwards as though piercing the air and the same light ball COALESCES and DRIVES downwards into the core of the Earth.
Aero LAUNCHES himself upwards away from the core for his own safety and to be able to watch the reaction.
The Staff of Mysteries is left behind.
The core of the Earth itself turns into a blue fire and then what appears to be a condensed storm with lightning striking every which way.
The diameter of the core reduces rapidly to its original size but as it does, countless blue spikes of energy stay reaching out to the size of the enlarged circumference.
Streaks of lightning emanate from the center and spiral towards the tip of each energy spike. Instead of reaching the tip of the spike, the lightning seems to extend the spike rapidly, creating a torrent of pure energy that lashes out miles from the center.
Each torrent of energy streaks out perfectly straight until reaching the center of a floating island, each single streak attaching to a single island.
The energy locks into place and begins pulling the island back towards the core.
The core begins to spin very quickly as though yanking its pillars of energy back in and the islands come plummeting down.
One island stops abruptly yet gently in the sky, and others immediately join it, all falling back into place.
In a matter of seconds the entire crust of the Earth rebuilds itself each puzzle pieces fitting exactly as it should.
The blue core can be seen faintly through the cracks and we watch it slow down and return to a normal molten iron color.
The streaks of energy each detach and are absorbed into the core.
The view of the core is then blocked by dirt and the cracks are violently filled with dirt rushing up from the center of the earth until the cracks are filled completely and small eruptions of dirt shoot a few feet into the air before settling back down.
Aero descends to the Earth
EXT. STEPS OF MUSEUM -- DAY
The crowd is cheering for Aero.
Aero hovers a few feet over the crowd and surveys the damage. There is slight visible damage and some people tend to minor injuries but all in all it seems as though everything is business as usual.
AERO
(addressing the crowd)
Today, citizens of Earth, a great man has fallen. A brilliant man driven to the edge of insanity by his own discoveries. Though he ultimately sought to destroy everything you hold dear, do not let this be the man he is remembered as. Let us instead remember Dr. B. and all of the good things he gave our society.
CROWD MEMBER
Three cheers for Dr. B!
CROWD
Hip Hip Hooray!
AERO
(whispering to himself)
Good night Roger.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:58 pm
EXT. ALLEYWAY – DAY
A large figure in trenchcoat and hat peels off the busy sidewalk and walks down the empty alleyway.
CLOSE ON FIGURE
Beneath the brim of his hat, BRICKHOUSE smirks as, over his shoulder, POLICE LIGHTS streak past the alleyway.
RACKHAM
Oi! Biggun!
Brickhouse whirls to see JACK RACKHAM perched on the roof two stories above.
BRICKHOUSE
Jack Rackham. Long time. What can I do for you?
RACKHAM
You can quit playing Indiana Jones and give me the staff.
Brickhouse holds his gaze a moment before bolting down the alleyway. Jack leaps across to the opposite fire escape, slides down the ladder, and is after him just as Brickhouse turns a corner.
RACKHAM
Alex! Get me eyes, NOW!
INT. RACKHAM’S LAIR
ALEX sits in front of his monitor, displaying a collage of traffic, satellite, and security cameras. As Brickhouse leaves one frame, he’s picked up in another.
ALEX
Got him, boss. Take a left here!
EXT. ALLEYWAY – BRICKHOUSE
Brickhouse frantically reassembles the two halves of the staff the he’d stored up his sleeves. They click into place, and Brickhouse pours on the speed.
EXT. ALLEYWAY – RACKHAM
Rackham’s having trouble keeping up with Brickhouse now. He turns a corner just in time to see a busted basement door swing closed.
Rackham draws his gun and creeps forward on high alert. He peeks through the door window, but all is dark.
RACKHAM
I’m going in.
INT. RACKHAM’S LAIR
ALEX
I can’t see you, boss. Where are you? Boss? Boss!
INT. BOILER ROOM – DAY
Rackham descends into the boiler room, a dark mess of machinery lit only by the shafts of sunlight streaming through the door and half-boarded windows.
RACKHAM
Alex. Alex?
Static.
RACKHAM
Dammit.
Rackham reaches the bottom of the stairs, winding his way through the steel, gun out, nerves ready.
Silently, the huge figure of Brickhouse looms behind Rackham. Brickhouse raises the staff slowly, ready to skewer Rackham through the heart.
Just as Brickhouse is about to lunge, the metal of the staff throws a GLINT OF LIGHT onto the far wall. Rackham spots it and wheels around just in time to avoid the thrust, but Brickhouse’s follow-up smashes Rackham against a pipe and sends his gun sliding under the pumps.
Rackham ducks a second blow intended to behead him. The pipe bursts, and a FOUNTAIN OF STEAM cuts off Brickhouse’s pursuit.
Rackham scurries away, searching for anything he can use. The best he can do is a large MONKEY WRENCH. He picks it up and surveys the terrain, his eyes quickly adjusting to the dimness. Brickhouse’s voice echos through the chamber.
BRICKHOUSE
(offscreen)
You know, Jackie boy, I wasn’t intending to test the staff so soon, but am I glad I did. Your greatest trait, tenfold – but it feels like so much more than ten. Steroids of the ancient world, Jackie boy! I’m gonna relish tearing you apart.
Rackham swings up above a pump. Once in place, he drops a single bullet to the floor. The clatter fills the room, and Brickhouse goes silent.
Staff at the ready, Brickhouse’s silent form creeps beneath Rackham’s hiding place. As Brickhouse bends to inspect the bullet, Rackham DROPS on him.
Rackham manages two solid strikes with the wrench before Brickhouse puts him back on the defensive. Any blow could end the fight, and it takes all Rackham has just to stay alive.
Rackham loses his balance, and Brickhouse brings down a crushing two-handed blow. Rackham spins, and with his left hand plants a TASER squarely in Brickhouse’s neck.
Brickhouse tenses and crumbles to his knees as current flows through him. But then the darkness is filled with the sound of his low laugh.
Suddenly, Brickhouse has Rackham by the wrist and flings him across the room.
BRICKHOUSE
You’re gonna need a lot more juice than that, little man!
POV – RACKHAM
Dazed, Rackham’s vision slowly comes into focus, only to see Brickhouse BARRELING DOWN on him.
INT. BOILER ROOM
Rackham spots a valve to his left and bashes it with a hammer, blasting steam right in Brickhouse’s face.
Brickhouse recoils, and looks around for Rackham, but he’s nowhere to be seen.
A CLANGING reverberates through the room, and Brickhouse rushes to its source, only to see Rackham open another burst of steam and flit away.
Brickhouse turns to pursue, but realizes he’s been cut off by another vent.
POV – BRICKHOUSE
Brickhouse’s eyes follow the pipes, tracing them through the boiler room until he locates the master steam valve.
INT. BOILER ROOM
Brickhouse walks to the valve.
BRICKHOUSE Nice little trick with the steam, there, Jackie. But I can’t play with you now. I’ve got places to be.
Brickhouse turns the valve shut, then breaks it off. The vents sputter out, and the room is silent save for the dripping of condensing steam. Brickhouse stalks the boiler room for Rackham.
RACKHAM
(offscreen)
You were right.
Brickhouse spins, nearly slipping in the water, to see Rackham holding a sparking power line.
RACKHAM
I did need more juice.
Rackham grabs a pipe above him and lifts his feet off the ground as he lets the wire fall.
Thousands of volts race through the water, and through Brickhouse. The electrocution lasts five agonizingly long seconds before, somewhere, a fuse blows and the power goes out.
Brickhouse crumples to the ground, and Rackham walks over to his unconscious form. He kneels down and disassembles the staff, careful not to touch it with his bare skin until the halves are separated.
POLICE SIRENS pull up outside.
RACKHAM
That’s my cue.
Rackham stows the staff and scurries out a window just as a POLICE OFFICER’s flashlight finds Brickhouse, moaning softly.
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I tested my entry twice and it still looks terrible. Please don’t let that detract from the content. It looks great in Final Draft and PDF.
Do other people just write in a special format and then paste?
I noticed other entries have a similar problem, so perhaps some settings in Final Draft flummox the plug-in.
July 22nd, 2009 at 3:37 pm
INT. MUSEUM -- NIGHT
SARAH creeps slowly and softly in the quiet gloom, hiding behind pillars and display cases as she goes. She kneels behind a yawning GICANTOPITHACUS, takes a deep, silent breath, and nervously raises her head.
About thirty feet away, the man the papers call BRICKHOUSE stands completely still, examining a wooden staff. Sarah has never seen him up close before. She marvels at his immense frame and bulging muscular form. Seven-plus feet and 350 pounds of absolute terror.
SUDDENLY
Sarah’s cell-phone rings. The high pitched chirp echoes throughout the exhibition chamber. Panic gripping her, Sarah grabs her phone and clumsily switches it off. She looks back toward Brickhouse, her eyes aflame with fear.
But Brickhouse has not moved a muscle.
Shocked and perplexed, Sarah waits for him to react.
Nothing.
SARAH
(to herself)
What? Is he deaf?
SUDDENLY
Brickhouse turns and strides purposefully toward her, staff in hand.
SARAH
(to herself)
Shit!
Sarah cowers behind the Gigantopithicus, hoping it might somehow come to life and do battle with this monster of a man.
She winces in trepidation and horror as Brickhouse approaches. His mask with its wide, screaming mouth is terrifying.
But to her surprise, Brickhouse passes straight by her and rushes out of the room. She listens to the echo of his footsteps grow fainter as he hurries down the hall and out of sight.
Sarah rises slowly to her feet and breathes a warbling sigh of relief.
SARAH
(panting)
Holy shit. Holy fuck.
She leans against the Gigantopithicus and wipes a clammy hand across her face.
SARAH
(to herself)
Fuck Sarah. Gotta be more careful girl.
The CLATTER of a door opening and closing echoes from a couple of rooms away.
SARAH
(to herself)
Okay. Call the cops or go it alone?
Sarah looks to the Gigantopithicus for an answer.
SARAH
Alone. Right.
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
First of all, I’d like to say hi. I’ve been a reader for some time now, but I’ve never posted.
I’d like to mention a few key things about the below:
1) I’m not a writer. I’ve written around 30 pages of script in my life. But I’v read thousands.
2) My dream is to be a director, so take the below as the writing of a director
3) I know there are rules and I try to stick to them, but I find that it’s more important to me to tell the story. I write the movie I feel and see more rather than sticking to structure. ESPECIALLY when I don’t have the time to do heavy rewriting. I wrote the below in one day in those free moments at work and at home.
4) The whole point of the below was to show MYSELF that I can do it. I like the story placed below quite a lot. It comes from a deeply personal place.
5) I just hope you like THE STORY as I have doubts about THE SCRIPT, as in I hope you feel the below rather than think the below.
6) If you have the time are willing, write me some feedback/advice on my e-mail address.
7) I know you’re busy, but more of those video lessons on writing would surely help, just like more blog posts would as well.
Last but not least, enjoy reading the below Mr. August. To the other readers, I hope you like my idea, to the contestants, nice stuff and to the winner, congratulations!
INT. SUV -parking space, city – Dusk
Everything which takes place is seen from within the SUV
Billy, 10 years old is eating ice cream and watching cartoons on the headrest DVD. He hates being left in the car when his mom is running errands. He takes a look out the window at THE MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES across the street, takes another bite of his ice cream.
POLICE CRUISERS show up from the left and right, setting up a safety perimeter, halting traffic.
TWEETY
(from the DVD)
I tawt I taw a putty tat!
The large front doors of the museum BLOW OPEN with a large bang, dust and debris flying in all directions.
Police men fill the street, guns ready, almost shooting the museum curator who runs out in panic.
MUSEUM CURATOR
(towards the cops)
Run for your lives! It’s BRICKHOUSE!
...and vanishes around a corner.
Billy’s ice cream is now melting on the SUV’s floor.
A FIGURE walks through the remains of the museum’s entrance, wearing what could be described as a HOMEMADE SUIT OF ARMOR, large breastplate, pieces covering his arms and legs, helmet – all made of unpainted, barely molded metal – IRON MAN done wrong. The setting sun makes him look twice more menacing.
TWEETY
I did! I did!
POLICEMAN
(shouting)
Get on your knees! Hit the pavement!
A deep, throaty laugh is heard from within the suit of armor as it starts taking steady steps towards the policemen. Clearly aware of the danger at hand, the cops pull out their handguns. BULLETS fly towards Brickhouse (BH) only to bounce off like pebbles.
Billy is scared shitless, he’s on the SUV floor, peaking through the window.
TWEETY
(continued)
Holy putty-tat!
Brickhouse reaches the cops and starts knocking them around like flies, punches a car, almost making a hole in its hood. More cops arrive, start firing, pointless. A SWAT VAN makes a flashy entrance only to be hit by a mailbox BH picks up and throws at it, the van tumbles over. SWAT barely climb out of their van, throw a quick look at BH then join the police, grabbing their wounded and falling back. Too easy.
BH rips off a cruiser’s door and flings it towards the fleeing cops.
BRICKHOUSE
(laughs smugly)
That’s right, RUN!
Billy sees a man, forty-ish, five o’clock shadow, jeans, t-shirt, chewing some gum, calmly walk up to BH from behind. Laughing, BH turns around and sees him.
BRICKHOUSE
Hmm...fresh meat. Who you supposed to be?
CHANCE
Just a cop. Name’s Chance. New in town.
BRICKHOUSE
(playfully evil)
Shouldn’t you be running with your little friends? There’s a good CHANCE you’ll get hurt (laughs)!
CHANCE
(laughing back – calmly)
Not my style, listen, how’s about you give up?
Billy is glued behind the passenger seat of the SUV, watching through the windshield. All he’s missing is popcorn.
BRICKHOUSE
Why’s that? You gonna’ arrest me?
CHANCE
(not joking)
That’s the plan.
BH is no longer finding this funny, he picks Chance up and throws him right past Billy’s window. Billy sneaks his way up on the backseat trying to see what happened to Chance, BH passes by his window, doesn’t see him. Chance is on the pavement, but HE IS GETTING UP.
CHANCE
(dusting off)
Hey, you mind if I call home? This looks like it might take a while.
Chance is on his feet by the time BH reaches him, he gathers himself and jumps up in the air aiming a perfectly executed kick at his opponent’s chest.The kick lands and BH clearly feels it, stumbling back.
Chance lands on his feet, CLEARLY NOT “JUST A COP”, spits out his gum into a trash can, which he then picks up and throws at the charging BH, annoying him and getting the full force of his metallic right hook sending him flying right in front of the museum entrance.
Billy, back on the floor and peaking, gasps as a dazed Chance starts to get up. The kid turns his head and sees BH gathering speed, heading straight for Chance. They clash and fly into the museum, out of sight.
Desperately moving around in the car, trying to see what’s going on, Billy turns off the cartoons, no point in watching those when the show’s outside.
BOOM! Through a second floor museum window comes flying out Brickhouse, head first, Chance right behind him. BH hits a lamp post and bends it, Chance lands on his feet in an astonishing display of athletics. Billy’s jaw drops by miles.
CHANCE
(heading towards the stunned BH)
So, let me get a few things clear. One, why do the locals call YOU BRICKHOUSE? You look more like a (makes a photo frame with his hands)...hubcap.
Billy giggles, clearly loving this. BH is trying to stand when Chance kicks him back down to the pavement.
CHANCE
And two, don’t you know crime doesn’t pay?
BRICKHOUSE
(groaning)
Gimme a break...
CHANCE
I mean, it would take someone with the IQ of a brick to think that a museum dedicated to trinkets has (makes finger quotes) “treasure” inside.
A gurgling of blood and pain is heard from within the armor.
CHANCE
OH, I get it! You didn’t know what UBIQUITIES means! Poor bastard, that’s a museum dedicated to cheap, worthless junk.
Chance picks BH up (a feat of strength which makes Billy’s jaw drop EVEN more) and looks him in the eyes.
CHANCE
Like you (smashes BH on a car)!
Billy throws a few punches towards the passenger seat, he’s clearly rooting for Chance, who is about to smash BH again, when...
BOOMING VOICE (O.S.)
(think God, times ten)
Who said anything about him being Brickhouse?
Chance looks up, way up. Billy’s face is glued to the car window in a desperate attempt to see whose voice that was.
An ENORMOUS MAN drops like a bomb on the museum steps. Compared to him the Statue of Liberty is a hood ornament. His entire body is a throbbing mass of muscles, barely hidden by what was once a perfect suit. He stands up brandishing an old rusted scepter, its top made to look like the head of a hawk.
THE REAL BRICKHOUSE
(almost emotionless)
I am Brickhouse, and this (points the scepter at Chance)is no trinket.
CHANCE
(calm, nodding toward the man in armor, letting him go)
So, who’s the walking fridge?
WALKING FRIDGE
(getting up)
Name’s TIN CAN!
Tin Can punches Chance sending him stumbling towards the middle of the street. Brickhouse does something to the scepter, making it shoot a white pulse of energy which he uses to pick Chance up and slam him on the upturned SWAT van. Tin Can slams into the pinned down Chance who groans in pain.
Billy gets on the floor of the SUV and searches for something under the seat, comes out with a CAMERA, fumbles around with the settings, points it towards Tin Can who is about to unleash a bone crunching punch on Chance. The camera’s flash distracts Tin Can who notices the SUV and Billy for the first time. So does Brickhouse who points the scepter towards the SUV and is about to unleash another pulse of energy when CHANCE STARTS GLOWING A FLUORESCENT GREEN lighting up the evening sky.
Billy makes a victory fist, jumping up and down.
The green glowing Chance stands up straight and FLOATS UP IN THE AIR, above the two villains. He shoots a strand of twirling, green energy and picks Tin Can up by the neck.
TIN CAN
(choking)
You said you’re just a cop!
CHANCE
(same characteristic calm)
I am. I just don’t touch the donuts.
Brickhouse, unimpressed, points the scepter towards Chance, shoots, Chance shoots back, the two energy waves meeting midair and canceling each other out. An instant later Tin Can is hurtled full speed towards Brickhouse. They clash and tumble down the museum stairs ending up in an ungainly mass of muscles and metal.
CHANCE
(looking down on them)
Now boys, where were we...(takes an assertive tone) You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law (continues)...
Brickhouse is moving his hands beneath his back, unseen. One hand reaches for the scepter, the other towards Tin Can. He throws Tin Can into a standing position, grabs the scepter, jumps up and shoots full force towards Chance.
BRICKHOUSE
(to Tin Can)
Get the kid!
Chance unleashes on Brickhouse, sees Tin Can running towards the SUV and FLIES to stop him, Billy is scared, climbs over the backseat, into the trunk....
INT. SUV – parking space – day
THUNK! The SUV door closes. Mom, nice looking lady, sets her purse on the passenger seat. Extends a warm, loving hand towards Billy
MOM
(gently)
Honey? Wake up..
Billy opens his eyes and looks around, sneaks a peak outside, all is well, people going about their business, traffic, none of the destruction actually happened. It was a dream.
MOM
It’s OK baby, you took a nap. Come on, it’s time.
Billy quietly picks up his backpack and exits the car. Mom does the same.
EXT. CITY – Day – Court house
Across the street from the Museum is the COURT HOUSE. We haven’t seen it before, but from the look on Billy’s face, he has. Mom places a protective arm around the boy and guides him inside.
INT. COURT ROOM
Not many people. Billy and Mom are together sitting on a front row bench. The court room doors open gently, a cop walks in, followed by a man, cheap pants, shirt, wearing a cap. Closing the doors behind him enters a third man, chiseled, square jaw, perfect hair, perfect suit. All three head towards the front of the court room. Everyone is quiet, their eyes do the talking.
LATER
JUDGE
(to everyone)
So, we all see each other again.Hopefully there won’t be any hiccups, unlike last time.(a beat) Mr. Johnson, seeing as this is your trial, please remove your cap.
The cheap pants-shirt man removes his cap and places it on the table in front of him. Billy takes a look at it, he’s seen it before. It reads TIN CAN.
JUDGE
Well, now that basic manners have been observed, you may proceed Mr. Brickhouse.
The “perfect” man stands up. Nods towards the judge.
BRICKHOUSE
Thank you, your honor. (towards the jury) Ladies and gentlemen, as you’ll see and hear throughout this trial, the situation could not be more simple. My client has been accused of a horrible deed, yet all of the evidence and testimonies which will be presented here will only serve to prove he wasn’t in full control of his mental state. Mr. Johnson is a simple man, trying to take care of his family. We all know times are hard, jobs are harder and harder to get and it would be considered an act of folly not to take whatever comes your way, especially when trying to make end’s meat.
Billy looks at Brickhouse, his eyes piercing with buried anger.
BRICKHOUSE
So we can all understand a man like Mr. Johnson, a truck driver, accepting a job to take a load of museum artifacts and then being tempted to steal such an item, not knowing they were worthless. His financial situation is dire, bills are stacking up, so he tried to take the easy way out. He didn’t want to hurt anybody, he is simply not that kind of man.
Billy throws a look at Johnson, sitting there, twirling his thumbs, sweating.
BRICKHOUSE
When officer Boudreaux tried to stop him, my client panicked and it was in that state that he (a beat)...took the artifact in question and stabbed the officer (continues)...
Billy looks towards the evidence table. On it, the murder weapon, an old rusted scepter, its top made to look like the head of a hawk, blood on the other end, his dad’s blood. Next to it is a picture, a police officer, fit, happy, smiling, early forties. The name on the uniform reads: CHANCE BOUDREAUX.
FADE TO:
INT. SUV – ROAD
The SUV is going down a road. Billy is in the backseat, watching cartoons on the headrest DVD. Mom’s driving, sneaks a peak towards Billy in the rear view mirror. Billy catches her reflection and smiles back, a sad, cold, empty smile. He looks out the window towards the sky.
Up there, among the clouds is Chance, glowing green, protective. Suddenly, he glows even brighter, now there are dark purple swirls of energy around his body, the clouds above him an agitated sea of darkness, his eyes GREEN FIRE. Something is wrong.
Billy looks out the rear window and sees that on top of the Greyhound bus catching his mom’s car are TIN CAN AND AN ANGRY BRICKHOUSE POWERING HIS SCEPTER UP! Billy quickly looks back up in the sky, Chance is FLYING down towards the bus, FULL SPEED!
BILLY
(to himself, quietly)
Go dad!
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I really don’t understand what happened. I tested the post before making it final and it worked like a charm. I spent over an hour formatting the text for scrippets…
Here’s the test post: http://scrippet.net/wordpress/?p=38&cpage=4#comment-344
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:38 pm
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – RESTRICTED SECTION – DAY
BRICKHOUSE drags the bloodied MUSEUM MANAGER through the room. They arrive at an armor-plated door with security sensor pads. Brickhouse shoves the guards face into the pad.
BRICKHOUSE
Open your eyes!
The manager keeps them closed.
MUSEUM MANAGER
(stuttering)
I can’t let you do this.
Brickhouse crushes the guards arm with his bare hands. The manager screams in agony, but still refuses to give in.
A DOZEN GUARDS enter the room. They fire their guns at Brickhouse.
Brickhouse RIPS out the manager’s eyes from their sockets and places them in front of the sensor.
The armor-plated doors open instantly and we see the ANCIENT STAFF standing in the center of the empty room. Brickhouse enters the new room, but is hit by a spray of bullets. He FALLS to the ground, bloodied, but keeps crawling.
The guards slowly move in on Brickhouse as he crawls closer to the staff. They keep shooting him.
Finally, Brickhouse grabs the ancient staff. He pulls out a small GOLDEN SPHERE from his pocket, but the guards unleash hundreds of bullets into his chest.
Brickhouse lays DEAD. Staff in one hand, sphere in the other. The guards wait a moment, before lowering their weapons.
SUDDENLY, the sphere zips towards the top of the staff. The two objects CONNECT. It glows. Brickhouse’s body glows. The guards raise their weapons but then...
Brickhouse opens his eyes.
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
The building RUMBLES. A stampede of FRENZIED TOURISTS storm out of the museum’s front gates. They flood into the streets. UTTER CHAOS.
SEVERAL POLICEMEN, totally outnumbered, try to control the evacuation. NO CHANCE.
A fleeing mob runs through the small barricade and knocks OFFICER DANIELS to the ground. As he gets up, a foot trips over his head and SMASHES his face into the pavement.
SEVERAL BLOCKS AWAY
A MONORAIL races through the city. Inside the train, TYLER STOKES despondently listens to his iPod until...
OTHER PASSENGERS GATHER AROUND THE WINDOWS.
Tyler takes off his sunglasses and looks as well. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE SCATTERING IN EVERY DIRECTION.
SUDDENLY
THE MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES EXPLODES LIKE A GIANT GRENADE
Below the monorail tracks we see a MOTHER and her FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER running amongst the masses. The girl drops her doll and runs back to retrieve it.
IN THE MONORAIL
We see large pieces of debris falling from the sky. Passengers scream and gasp. Tyler watches the explosion with disbelief and notices a GIANT STEEL BEAM heading towards the front of the train.
The steel beam PIERCES through the first car and PINS it to the tracks.
The connecting cars lift off of the tracks and SPIN AROUND THE STEEL BEAM like the main rotor of a helicopter.
The last car, Tyler’s car, detaches from the rest of the train and flies hundreds of yards through the air.
Tyler closes his eyes and suddenly...he disappears!
ON THE STREET
The mother fights her way through the crowd, screaming for her daughter. About fifty feet away, we see the little girl bending down to pick up her doll. The mother’s jaws drop in horror.
The monorail car is headed right for the little girl!
But...
BAM! Tyler reappears in front of the girl. A split second before impact, he points at the car and it disappears.
Tyler picks up the doll and gives it to the girl. She stares at him in awe. He clenches his fist and...
VANISHES.
In the background we see the train car SPLASH into a river several blocks away.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
...or what’s left of it. Scores of bodies lay dead in the streets. Smoke and dust surround the area.
Tyler reappears in the middle of it all. He looks around for survivors, but can’t see a thing. After a moment he notices:
A GOLDEN GLOW coming from the epicenter of the explosion.
Tyler slowly walks towards the light, fingers pointed towards the object. As he gets closer, the dust settles and we see...
BRICKHOUSE. Golden, glowing, bigger, and stronger than ever!
TYLER
(shocked)
Brickhouse?! What have you done?
BRICKHOUSE
(nonchalant)
I figured you’d show up.
Tyler sees the ancient staff. His jaws drop.
TYLER
Do you realize what you’ve done?
BRICKHOUSE
I didn’t have a choice! It was the only way to stop the plasma from spreading through my body. The only way I could get my powers back...
TYLER
At what cost! Hundreds of humans are dead because of you! We were sent here to protect these people!
BRICKHOUSE
And now we can! Millions more will be safer because of the sacrifice these people made today. Don’t you understand? It was necessary!
TYLER
It was murder! Wait until our commanding officer hears about this...
BRICKHOUSE
You wouldn’t...we can cover this up Tyler...make it look like an accident...
Tyler gives Brickhouse a disapproving stare. He turns around a walks away.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(furious)
They’ll lock me up! Are you willing to destroy our partnership?
Tyler keeps walking and doesn’t look back.
SUDDENLY
A BALL OF ENERGY flies towards Tyler. He sees it in the reflection of a car window and dodges it in the nick of time.
The energy ball hits an intercity bus and it EXPLODES.
Tyler spins around and points at Brickhouse. A spark of energy flies from Tyler’s finger towards Brickhouse, but it is deflected with the ancient staff.
The ricocheted spark hits the bus and makes it DISAPPEARS.
Tyler clenches his fist. The bus reappears, CRASHES into Brickhouse, and splits in two against his body. Brickhouse stands unscathed. Tyler stares in awe.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(laughing)
It’s useless Tyler. I’m too strong for you.
Tyler charges towards Brickhouse at full speed, but disappears when Brickhouse swings the staff. Tyler instantly reappears behind Brickhouse, fist clenched.
Brickhouse spins around and SMACKS Tyler across the face with the staff. He pins Tyler to the ground with his foot and points the staff at his mouth. Tyler struggles.
TYLER
(disgusted)
You’re a disgrace to our people.
Brickhouse laughs.
BRICKHOUSE
Why do you care so much about these humans? They’re filthy, weak, and pathetic!
TYLER
We swore to protect them!
BRICKHOUSE
No human life is worth one of our own. But I promise you, this will not happen again. Just help me cover this up!
TYLER
I’d rather be a human than help you.
Brickhouse grins. PLASMA secretes from the sphere on the tip of the staff and OOZES onto Tyler’s face. He begins to convulse. Brickhouse clenches his fist.
BRICKHOUSE
Enjoy your new life.
Brickhouse vanishes into thin air. Tyler watches him escape, paralyzed and helpless.
July 22nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm
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July 22nd, 2009 at 6:07 pm
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Brickhouse flies out through the window.
GLASS SPRAYS everywhere.
Clasped in his right hand, the STAFF OF KNOWLEDGE.
Brickhouse shakes his head, leans on his left arm to get up --
SMACK DOWN.
A blur of long red hair and shimmery green leggings lands on top of Brickhouse. It’s EMERALD, 21, in all her superhero glory. Or maybe embarrassment --
Emerald looks down... she’s straddling Brickhouse’s waist.
EMERALD
Oh -- no.
Brickhouse looks just as shocked -- then sneers, as he tries to grab her. But Emerald back flips a safe distance away.
EMERALD
Ewww.
Emerald looks down as she dusts herself off. She looks up.
Brickhouse is right there.
He grabs out,
Circles his big brick hands around her
And holds her up in the air.
BRICKHOUSE
Well, if it isn’t Emerald, the wannabe do-gooder I’ve been hearing so much about. You look to be a bit new to this whole superhero thing.
EMERALD
Nu-uh.
(squirming)
All right -- yeah. But you’re not doing so well yourself, big fella. Forget something?
Emerald points over Brickhouse’s shoulder. Brickhouse swirls around and sees -- the staff on the ground. Oops.
Brickhouse tosses Emerald into the air and leaps for the staff. He wraps both fists around it.
Emerald lands on her feet and squares off across from Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
Enough. I’ve got things to do tonight.
EMERALD
Really? Now I would have thought you were more of a homebody, sitting around waiting for the Little Red-Haired Girl to send you a valentine.
Brickhouse slams the staff into the ground.
BRICKHOUSE
You know, it’s uppity bitches like you that ruin everything. Dates, movies, prom.
EMERALD
Prom?
Brickhouse loses patience. He waves Emerald away.
BRICKHOUSE
No time to talk. Late for a big payday.
EMERALD
Stop!
Emerald flings her hands toward Brickhouse.
Green lights fly out of her fingertips, then swirl into a small tornado heading toward Brickhouse. But right before impact --
POOF! Green sparkles sprinkle down on Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
(laughing)
Oh, that’s precious. Good thing I have a no-kill policy for dorks.
Brickhouse bounds up onto a wall with the staff and turns back for a second.
BRICKHOUSE
I hear there’s an opening on Sparkle Motion.
Brickhouse disappears to the other side.
Emerald slumps down.
EMERALD
I bet nobody laughed at Batman when he was perfecting his Batsuit.
Emerald kicks a pinecone, as she starts to walk away.
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:08 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A LARGE MAN wears an olive drab jumpsuit. His back muscles ripple below the sweaty fabric as he tears through the crypt.
Gold goblets, jewelry and coins CLANG off the tile floor.
A GLOVED HAND pauses over a gold cylindrical staff -- a bluish hue --
QUICKLY NOW -- he jams the staff into a pocket on his upper thigh as he moves point-to-point to the stairwell door.
INT. DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY – TACC – NIGHT
Multiple MILITARY PERSONNEL man their stations in the Tactical Air Control Center (TACC).
A WALL of Hi-Tech LED screens display feeds from the city’s security cameras.
A bald MARINE COLONEL paces. Stops behind a CONTROLLER.
COLONEL ROBERTS
Contact Snake flight. They are cleared to engage.
EXT. OVERHEAD CITY – NIGHT
Two F-35 Joint Strike Fighters (JSF) cut the sky.
INT. JSF COCKPIT
The displays reflect a green hue on the pilot’s visor.
CONTROLLER (V.O.)
Snake One, you are cleared to engage on contact.
JSF PILOT
Copy that.
INT./EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
LARGE MAN -- FOLLOWING HIM -- lurches up the stairwell 3 or 4 stairs a crack-- each footfall ECHOES under him.
He SMASHES through the door onto the roof -- DEAFENING SOUND OF A JET ENGINE -- an idle JSF awaits! --
He climbs the ladder into the cockpit, dons a helmet, and the canopy closes as the ENGINE SPOOLS UP.
Dust and heat distort the air as the JSF takes flight.
INT. TACC – NIGHT
CONTROLLER
Sir, Unknown rider in the vicinity of the museum!
COLONEL ROBERTS
What the --
INT. JSF COCKPIT
The pilot scans the sky.
PILOT FOV
Night Vision aided. Shades of green. A JSF silhouette skims the skyline.
JSF PILOT
Tally Ho!
EXT. OVERHEAD CITY – NIGHT
Two JSF’s roll into an angle of bank, DIVING towards their target.
The single JSF accelerates just above the rooftops.
INT. JSF COCKPIT
JSF PILOT
Capt. Brickhouse, we are cleared hot. Put ‘er down!
INT. BRICKHOUSE COCKPIT
Looking over his left shoulder. Dim light reveals a battered face.
BRICKHOUSE
Is that you, Axel? Sorry, man. You know I can’t do that.
INTERCUT BRICKHOUSE/AXEL
AXEL
You can’t bring him back.
BRICKHOUSE
I can now.
AXEL
Brickhouse, we can help you through this. Just set her down.
BRICKHOUSE
I’ve got nothing left to lose...
EXT. BRICKHOUSE JSF – NIGHT
The fighter comes HARD LEFT and --
EXT. SNAKE FLIGHT – NIGHT
Darkness loses to a FLASH! -- a MISSILE FIRES from the second JSF --
INT. AXEL COCKPIT
Snaps to see the missile tracking towards Brickhouse.
AXEL
NOOoAAGHHH!
EXT. BRICKHOUSE JSF – SAME
A spoke pattern of white phosphorous surrounds the airplane. A FIREBALL ERUPTS.
Glowing carbon fiber careens towards the city’s shoreline.
INT. AXEL COCKPIT
He flicks his oxygen mask to the side. Deflates.
JSF PILOT #2 (V.O)
I was ordered to, Ax. He was your brother -- you couldn’t -- I’m sorry...
EXT. CITY SHORELINE – NIGHT
Amid the falling carnage, the GOLD STAFF hits the sand and cartwheels to a stop.
FOOTSTEPS approach. CRUNCH. SQUEAK. CRUNCH. Stops.
A GLOVED HAND, now torn and charred, grabs the staff.
CUT TO BLACK
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
An empty road in front of the Museum.
A quiet beat for a second or two.
And BRICKHOUSE – seven feet tall and the body of a wrestler – is THROWN THROUGH THE WALL of the museum, emerging in a shower of bricks and plaster and debris.
He lands hard on his back about twenty feet from the hole that he’s just made, a six-foot-long STAFF falling from his hand as he hits the ground.
A POLICE CORDON of cop cars surrounds the museum. SWAT OFFICERS stand by, assault rifles at the ready while overhead, a POLICE HELICOPTER trains a spotlight down on the scene.
Captain DANIELS stands by a car and speaks into his mike, his amplified voice filling the night.
DANIELS
Surrender to the civilian authorities now and we will de-authorise the use of super-force. Signal your intent not to use your powers by raising your hands in the air.
Brickhouse raises himself up from the floor, and shakes his head to clear it.
That’s when he sees ABLE – smart collared shirt and tight black jeans – emerging from the hole in the wall.
Daniels lowers the mike.
DANIELS (CONT’D)
I guess not then.
Able and Brickhouse walk towards each other. Stop. Size each other up.
ABLE
Reckon you’re hurting there.
BRICKHOUSE
Lucky hit.
He stretches his neck. There’s a loud CRACKING sound.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Right.
And he throws a heavy punch at Able, who shifts his body out of the way, causing Brickhouse to stagger a couple of paces forward as he misses.
ABLE
Gonna have to do better than that.
BRICKHOUSE
All right.
And he grabs Able by his shirt collar and jeans --
-- swings him round --
-- and launches him straight up in the air --
-- past the body of the helicopter and THROUGH THE HELICOPTER BLADES which slice him neatly into three separate chunks.
Brickhouse crouches to pick up the staff as the pieces of Able rain down beside him.
As he stands, the damaged helicopter starts to list, the pilot frantically trying to regain control as it drops towards the Museum.
Slams into it.
Explodes.
Brickhouse advances towards the waiting SWAT team.
DANIELS
Steady!
Brickhouse continues to walk towards the barrier, and one of the SWAT team OPENS UP ON BRICKHOUSE WITH HIS ASSAULT RIFLE.
Daniels and most of the other officers duck down behind their cars as THE BULLETS BOUNCE RIGHT OFF HIM – one of the SWAT officers is struck by a ricochet and goes down screaming even as Daniels yells
DANIELS (CONT’D)
Cease fire! Cease fire!
The firing stops and the last of the casings CLATTER TO THE FLOOR as Brickhouse reaches the edge of the cordon and stops in front of Daniels.
BRICKHOUSE
What was that about?
DANIELS
I’m sorry. He’s new.
BRICKHOUSE
Don’t let it happen again.
The cops step aside to let Brickhouse walk through the line and away into the night.
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:19 pm
EXT. UBIQUITIES MUSEUM – DAY
The Museum of Ubiquities, unusually vacant for a Saturday afternoon. The artful ‘OPEN’ sign gives no clues to why.
Below the Museum’s massive stone steps gathers a large CROWD nervously watching behind the panicked BLOCKADE of squad cars and caution tape. Several OFFICERS train their pistols toward the entrance of the Museum. It is eerily silent.
From behind a parked squad unit, a dark FIGURE walks calmly to the front of the panic-fest, putting on leather GLOVES.
A yellow ‘L’ symbol on his chest suggests this is the world-famous LAUNCHMAN, backwoods hansom that has hardened from living in the big city for many years. He adjusts his perfectly formed hair as he approaches the frontline.
A particularly beautiful Museum Docent with JENNIFER on her name tag approaches the costumed hero.
JENNY
You okay?
LAUNCHMAN
(lying)
Fine.
Launchman takes Jenny’s arm and gently pulls her aside.
LAUNCHMAN (CONT’D)
Were you hurt?
JENNY
I’m fine Linus.
LAUNCHMAN
Was it Greaser? Maybe Fulkenhagen again?
JENNY
This time it was an unknown. He called himself ‘BRICKHOUSE.’
LAUNCHMAN
Usual DR. DISORDER cretin again?
JENNY
But big. Really big. He took the doors off the Hall of Transient Properties with one hand.
Launchman’s eyes go wide at this information. He looks up to the Museum’s entrance, heading towards an uncertain doom.
JENNY (CONT’D)
You going to be okay in there?
LAUNCHMAN
Guess we’ll find out...
INT. UBIQUITIES MUSEUM – LOBBY – MOMENTS LATER
Launchman enters the Museum lobby and quietly closes the door. He looks around at the destruction.
Papers and other DEBRIS litter the once spotless granite floors. Several velvet ropes and their stands have been toppled over. Launchman waves his arm, clearing a path.
With a soft-shoe, Launchman makes his way towards the Hall of Transient Properties. He prepares himself for the worst.
INT. HALL OF TRANSIENT PROPERTIES – CONTINUOUS
Raiding a large and most likely expensive DISPLAY CASE is the LARGEST DUDE YOU’VE EVER SEEN; wearing gigantic army boots, black shorts and a once white wife-beater tank top.
This is the previously announced BRICKHOUSE. He looks as if he’s been on steroids since he was three years-old.
In his left hand, Brickhouse holds the MERCURY STAFF. Launchman notices it – again with that old relic?!
AT THE DOOR
Launchman waggles his fingers, preparing for a desperate move. He raises his arm and extends his fingers outward.
THE STAFF WIGGLES
Brickhouse doesn’t seem to notice.
Launchman readjusts his stance. He reaches out once more.
THE STAFF FLIES OUT OF BRICKHOUSE’S HAND --
And into Launchman’s open palm.
Brickhouse turns around – not sure what happened.
BRICKHOUSE
(thick Australian accent)
‘Ere, is moine!
Brickhouse reaches for the nearest object, which happens to be a thick GARBAGE CAN LID. He FRISBY-TOSSES it towards the unprepared Launchman, who takes it right in the gut.
The staff flies from his hand and to the ground.
Brickhouse BLITZES for the staff, swooping it up. He reaches for Launchman – still dazed from the blow to the gut.
Brickhouse picks him up by the arm and CHUCKS him across the room. Launchman lands with a THUD, sliding into a wall.
Launchman slowly rises, his body stinging with pain.
LAUNCHMAN
That’s...just not nice.
Brickhouse picks up a velvet-rope stand and HAMMER THROWS it towards Launchman who reacts quickly and sticks out his hand.
THE STAND CHANGES COURSE --
It swings around and FLIES back towards Brickhouse.
Brickhouse gets SMACKED upside the face. He TUMBLES back.
BRICKHOUSE
‘Ay naow.
Brickhouse bends down and picks up one of the FELLED DOORS.
Launchman prepares himself for the door to come flying his way. Instead Brickhouse holds the door as a shield as he turns tail and RUNS AWAY.
Launchman lifts his arms in disappointment.
LAUNCHMAN
What the...?
Launchman chases after him.
EXT. UBIQUITIES MUSEUM – MOMENTS LATER
Through raining BULLETS, Brickhouse exits the Museum. The door is held up as a shield from the ever-increasing blasts.
Some of the bullets pierce his skin, most just get deflected off the door-shield.
Launchman exits the Museum. The firing slows to a stop.
Seeing Launchman at his heels, Brickhouse TURNS to run down the street. He FLINGS the dented door towards the squad cars.
Several policemen DUCK and COVER from the uncontrollable door. The unaware Jenny looks up at the approaching steel-plated doom. She BRACES herself for the worst.
Nothing.
The door never hits the ground.
She looks up. The door HANGS IN THE AIR inches from her head.
The door is FLUNG backward and CLASHES to the ground.
Observing from the Museum stairs, Launchman lowers his hands and turns to the street. In the distance Launchman can see --
Brickhouse has made it a great distance away – he trips on a FIRE HYDRANT. The hydrant EXPLODES H2O all over the street. He goes TUMBLING to the ground and drops the staff.
Brickhouse picks back up the staff and continues fleeing.
Jenny joins Launchman on the steps.
JENNY
It’s okay, we’ll get it back.
LAUNCHMAN
That’s not what concerns me. What concerns me is Dr. Disaster continues to try and steal the damn thing.
Launchman turns to Jenny.
LAUNCHMAN (CONT’D)
I need to know absolutely everything there is to know about that staff.
Jenny nods enthusiastically.
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:22 pm
EXT. STREET, MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
DAVID, 32, fit and well-dressed, steps out of his Mercedes in front of the museum, which is on a wide city street.
He walks by a beat-up old Toyota, being lifted onto two wheels by a city tow truck. The car was clearly too close to a hydrant.DAVID
(to himself)
Idiot.
David walks up the steps.
The museum is in a townhouse, which is old but well-maintained. The sign outside reads, “Everyday Amazing!”
The lights are out, but David tests the door and it opens.INT. LOBBY, MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – MOMENTS LATER
David steps into the lobby.DAVID
Hello?
David turns a corner, entering a great hall.GREAT HALL – CONTINUOUS
David sees an elderly couple, the museum staff, tied to a pair of chairs in the middle of the dark room. A single spotlight illuminates the couple.DAVID
Mom?MOM
Hi, Davey-bear.
She smiles and attempts a wave.
Her husband, tied up beside her, takes short puffs from a pipe that dangles from his lips. He sees the attempted wave and harumphs.
David approaches.DAVID
Are you all right?MOM
We’re fine.
Mom squirms, smiling. She jostles dad and the pipe spills into his lap.DAD
Holy Christmas!
He starts blowing the smoldering ash from his lap.
David reaches them and starts pulling at the ropes.MOM
Dad’s a little grumpy.DAVID
Where’s Fleet?
FLEET, 26, steps out of the shadows. He looks like a classic junkie: gaunt, disheveled, scabby and twitchy.FLEET
I told you. The name’s Brickhouse.
David stands up. He’s a head taller than Fleet.DAVID
What’s up?
Dad starts spitting in his lap to extinguish the embers.MOM
David, he just wants attention.FLEET
Mom!
David takes off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves.DAVID
This some kind of showdown? Flea?
Fleet blinks timidly and takes a few steps back.MOM
David, please. No hitting. Your brother needs help.
David keeps walking.DAVID
(to Fleet)
They towed your car, asshole.
Dad starts stomping his feet and thrusting his hips in an attempt to shed the smoldering tobacco.
Fleet holds up his hands.FLEET
Wait!
David stops, fists clenched, chest heaving.
Fleet produces a Coke bottle filled with a dirty, greenish liquid.FLEET
All my life, you’ve been the hero and I’ve been the reject.-MOM
Is that anti-freeze?DAVID
I think he’s gonna drink it.MOM
Fleet, no!
Fleet shakes his head.FLEET
Wait! Let me have my moment.
David and Mom watch Fleet. Dad focuses on his pants.
Fleet blinks, suddenly struck dumb.FLEET
Uh . . . fuck it.
Fleet opens the bottle and drinks the liquid.MOM
No!DAVID
(shrugging)
He’s done worse.
Fleet shudders and drops the empty bottle.
He dry heaves, collects himself, then charges -
David steps aside and shoves Fleet, who goes stumbling toward the wall and crashes into a display: a mannequin wearing a towel.MOM
No! Fleet!DAD
Damn it! That towel belonged to Winston Churchill!
(glancing at his smoking pants)
Jesus! I’m basically on fire now.
Fleet rips the arm off the mannequin and, roaring like a wild animal, charges back at David.
Fleet swings, clipping David’s elbow.
David grimaces and lunges toward another display.DAD
Dave! Careful! That curtain rod belonged to Ed Asner!
David starts swinging.
Mom starts working her hands out of the ropes.DAD
Kissinger’s croquet set!
There’s a loud crash.
Mom frees her hands and slips out of the ropes.
She starts toward the boys.DAD
Shirley Temple’s Tupperware!!
Mom looks over her shoulder and sees Dad’s pants, which are now definitely burning.
She grabs a towel and runs back to him.DAD
Not the Churchill!
She smothers the fire with the towel, then runs to the boys.
She approaches David, who stands over the prone body of Fleet.MOM
What did you do to him?
David looks pale.DAVID
He just . . . fell. I didn’t touch him.
Mom kneels slowly.MOM
Fleet?
She reaches out.MOM
Honey?
Fleet’s body jerks.
He sits up.
Fleet looks from his mom to his brother and starts hiccuping.FLEET
It’s w-working.
Fleet’s arms start shaking. He holds them up, palms down, with his elbows pressed against his sides.
He moans, rocks and sweats profusely.MOM
Do you want some soup?
Fleet’s skin starts turning scaly.
His body begins to balloon out. His neck stats to grow.
A moment later, Fleet is a giant ostrich – twenty feet tall.
He lets out a horrid shriek, then flaps his tiny wings, beating them until he rises from the ground.
Fleet the ostrich rises to the ceiling, then punches through the glass skylight and disappears into the night.
Mom, Dad and David are quiet for a moment.DAVID
I . . . can’t . . . believe what I just saw.
Dad’s pants have been completely burned off. He’s sitting in his underwear.DAD
I’ll say. Ostriches can’t fly.
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
The following is a fixed version of my prior entry. If this works, please read this one! I think the trick is adding spaces here and there in case anyone else is having the same problem…
EXT. 5TH AVENUE – NIGHT
A green muscle car ROARS up 5th Avenue and SHRIEKS to a stop, a conspicuous “V” hood ornament filling the frame.
Dr. Axon Callosum exits the car, looking on as Victoria Mile transforms back into a gorgeous woman.
AXON
Gotta hurt when you do that.
VICTORIA
Only when you ride me too hard.
A THUNDEROUS EXPLOSION is heard. They turn to see --
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A plume of smoke misting through the front doors.
AXON
We’re too late.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – MAIN HALL
Axon and Victoria survey the damage. Either a class five tornado hit or...
They turn to a giant wall to see a gaping hole, an aperture in the shape of a man -- if the man were twenty feet tall.
They peek through the hole and stare down a horizontal abyss. Every wall in every room shares the same punch hole. It extends beyond sight into the darkness.
VICTORIA
We’ve no time. Ride me.
AXON
Victoria, I hardly...
Victoria transforms into a green motorcycle; Axon mounts with trepidation. They launch through the hole...
INT. MUSEUM – TRAVELING
Axon races from one room to the next, swerving around ancient relics...
AXON
This place isn’t as boring at 60 miles per hour.
Axon looks ahead where the floor has given out.
VICTORIA
I see it.
Victoria finds some displaced lumber, launches off a plank.
THEY LEAP OVER THE CHASM, landing safely on the other side of an arboretum. Axon looks around, notices they are in...
INT. NATURAL HISTORY HALL – JUNGLE ROOM
An ANIMATRONIC STEGOSAURUS moves with about as much sophistication as Abe Lincoln at Disney World.
STEGOSAURUS
I come from the late Jurassic period, over 150 million...
Rising beside the massive stegosaurus, but more frightening, is an equally large creature...
BRICKHOUSE. He pivots around to the robot, his motion very fluid. Very real. He steams with rage, lifting his staff.
With the acumen of a long bo master, he delivers a crushing blow to the dinosaur, it’s head reeling across the floor.
STEGOSAURUS (CONT’D)
(voice warbling)
Years... ago...
Contented, Brickhouse turns to the solid wall in front of him. He lifts his staff as pole vault, leaps feet first...
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Police have a perimeter around the building, but these TWO COPS seem bored on the non-business end of the building.
COP 1
They say it’s Roid Rage. Got all the symptoms. Balding head, mood swings, and of course...
COP 2
Tiny balls.
Behind them the wall disintegrates and Brickhouse descends with the rubble, falling between two police cars.
COP 1
I didn’t mean nothing by it!
Using his staff as a BARBELL, Brickhouse bench presses both cars above his chest. With one more brisk movement, he launches them fifty feet into the air.
The police scramble as the cars hurtle back to Earth, smashing into pieces as they hit the pavement.
From the same hole, the motorcycle launches into the air, landing again on 5th Avenue. Axon spots Brickhouse above the treeline as he pounds into Central Park.
AXON
He’s going to the lake.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK – NIGHT
Pedestrians scatter as the behemoth tosses benches and hot dog stands with ease. He arrives at a body of water.
Then sees BRICKET...
Held prisoner on an island the middle of the lake is a creature not unlike Brickhouse, but with feminine features.
Axon and Victoria arrive as SIRENS BLARE in the distance.
AXON
Bricket!
Brickhouse screams with rage and wades into the water. As his feet touch the water, steam rises, his skin melting.
He SCREAMS, but trudges on, using the stick as support.
AXON
He’s not going to make it.
VICTORIA
I got an idea.
EXT. LAKE – NIGHT
Brickhouse is trying in vain to walk across the pool, but his legs are dissolving too fast. It all looks hopeless when...
A GREEN SCARAB BOAT SPLASHES into the lake. Axon, behind the wheel, motions to Brickhouse.
AXON
Get on you fat son of bitch!
Brickhouse is touched by this gesture. He struggles onto the boat. We see his legs are now flaming pink molten goo.
They arrive at the island. Brickhouse extends the staff to Bricket. She grabs it, leaps onto the boat with him.
But their combined weight is too much. The boat crumbles, sinking on its way back.
AXON
Uh-oh.
(beat)
You can do it, Victoria.
VICTORIA
I... don’t... think...
The boat dips below the surface. Axon is breathing water. Brickhouse and Bricket SCREAM, water boiling their feet.
Brickhouse grabs his lover and leaps to the shore. They’re safe. They turn to the lake -- nothing but bubbles.
Then... two faces pop to the surface. Axon and Victoria gasp for air. Brickhouse smiles, holding Bricket close.
EXT. LAKE SHORE – NIGHT
Axon and Victoria crawl to the beach when a POLICE CAPTAIN approaches.
CAPTAIN
Alright, Dr. Callosum, where is he?
AXON
Who?
CAPTAIN
The monster!
Axon is confused, then looks just behind the captain where a regular human couple embrace, both of their legs burned.
Axon smiles, and the Captain turns.
CAPTAIN
Are they witnesses?
AXON
They didn’t see a thing.
The couple retreats into the darkness.
AXON
You’ll find what you’re looking for at the bottom of that pond.
VICTORIA
Probably dissolved by now.
CAPTAIN
No use in draining it then. Serves them right, public menaces.
(beat)
Thank you, Doctor. Once again, our city is indebted to you.
AXON
Captain, why wouldn’t you listen? We just needed to calm him down.
CAPTAIN
A nice theory, Doctor. But I live in the real world. Good evening.
As he shuffles off, Axon and Victoria turn to each other.
VICTORIA
Where were we?
CAPTAIN
Taking a joyride.
They kiss.
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:49 pm
If you are having problems with the scrippet font, more than likely it can be fixed by adding a blank line after each entry.
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:00 pm
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
BRICKHOUSE BURSTS through the door, building rubble bouncing off his bulky brick frame. He scans the room:
It’s full of ancient artifacts. Tapestries, pottery, and jewelry each with individual glass displays.
Then Brickhouse notices:
A STAFF, six feet long, HIEROGLYPHICS engraved into it. It has two SPHERICAL EXTRUSIONS, fist distance apart at one end.
As Brickhouse lumbers towards it, he notices:
Captain Wuss sprint from the other direction, racing for the staff.
As he runs, Brickhouse PULLS A BRICK out of his shoulder, HEAVES it at the display. GLASS SHATTERS. Alarms BLARE and as BRICKHOUSE DIVES:
CAPTAIN WUSS DIVES, reveals a PAIR OF HANDCUFFS in mid-air, linked to one wrist. He grabs the unlocked end with his other hand, GLASS FLYING past.
He LOCKS THE HANDCUFF between the spherical extrusions of the STAFF just as:
Brickhouse GRABS AND SWINGS it around like a sword. Then, ZZZZZZZZAPPP!!
CAPTAIN WUSS (O.S.)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
EXT. MOUNTAINS
Attached by the handcuffs, Captain Wuss loops around the staff as Brickhouse swings violently.
BRICKHOUSE
Let go you fool!!!
CAPTAIN WUSS
Never!! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
BRICKHOUSE
He who holds it, controls our presence in time and place! You are powerless!
Brickhouse SLAMS CAPTAIN WUSS into the rocky ground repeatedly. Then, ZZZZZZZAAAP!!
CAPTAIN WUSS (O.S.)
Ow! Ow! S-stop! Please!!
EXT. VOLCANO
Brickhouse holds Captain Wuss at the edge of a volcano, lava bubbling below.
CAPTAIN WUSS
Moron! I’m locked to this, you let go, you lose the staff forever!!
Brickhouse grimaces in frustration, then ZZZAAAAAPP!! Into--
EXT. DENSE FOREST
Brickhouse swings Captain Wuss up into the trees, the staff soon gets:
ENTANGLED in the branches, along with Captain Wuss.
Brickhouse pulls hard, struggling to get it out of the trees as:
Captain Wuss fights to pull himself to the staff. He struggles until his finger touches it. ZZZZAAAAPP!!
GIRL (O.S.)
Oh yes! Oh my god! Go go go!
INT. BEDROOM
Brickhouse stares as he notices TWO LOVERS having sex right in front of him. Amazed, he doesn’t notice as Captain Wuss inches his hand towards the staff.
BRICKHOUSE
Why are you thinking about sex now? While fighting me...
CAPTAIN WUSS
I wanna even the odds...
Captain Wuss GRASPS THE STAFF.
Just as the Lovers notices who’s in their room, ZZZZZAAPPP!!
EXT. BATTLEFIELD
GUNFIRE and EXPLOSIONS surround them. Caught in the middle of a Vietnam battle.
BULLETS BOUNCE OFF BRICKHOUSE. No harm done.
Captain Wuss holds the staff with both hands, as Brickhouse swings him about.
CAPTAIN WUSS
Ha ha! Now we are both omnipresent powers!
BRICKHOUSE
God would never let a mere mortal possess such power! Let go now!
CAPTAIN WUSS
Why would God let you? Look at you! You have efflorescence!
Brickhouse stops swinging to study his body, very concerned now.
BRICKHOUSE
What? My complexion is flawless!
Captain Wuss closes his eyes and, ZZZZZAAPP!!
EXT. DEMOLITION SITE
Brickhouse holds the staff at his side, Captain Wuss hiding behind it. Just then a:
Wrecking ball barrels into Brickhouse, disconnecting his arm from the staff. His hand crumbles away from the staff brick by brick.
Captain Wuss pulls the staff close. He watches as the:
WRECKING BALL PUMMELS Brickhouse on its return swing.
Captain Wuss watches with satisfaction as Brickhouse MOANS in pain.
CAPTAIN WUSS
You should’ve let me control this thing Brickhouse. Now you’re gonna miss the rest of the sex scene.
Captain Wuss closes his eyes and, ZZZZZAAPP!! He’s gone.
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:05 pm
FADE IN:
INT. MUSEUM, EGYPTIAN EXHIBIT -- NIGHT
The room is dark except for a single display case lit by a lone spot light. The rest of the displays appear to be a jumble of shapes shrouded in darkness.
INT. ON DISPLAY CASE -- NIGHT
A twisted, hieroglyphic laden wooden staff lies on a bed of silk. A shadow creeps up the glass until all the light is blotted out.
INT. MUSEUM, EGYPTIAN EXHIBIT -- NIGHT
The shadow belongs to BRICKHOUSE, a tall brute with a body carved from stone. He wears a too tight t-shirt; a fanny pack hangs below his rock hard abs.
Brickhouse brings his fists down on the case; the glass SHATTERS into a million pieces. He scoops the staff up in one of his mitts.
With his free hand Brickhouse opens his pack, removes a cigar and lighter. He thumbs the lighter sparking a fire; he holds the flame to the cigar and sucks it to life.
Brickhouse takes a long drag, the cherry glows bright. With a long sigh he blows out a plume of smoke.
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Oi!
Brickhouse whirls around just as the lights flicker on. We follow his gaze.
KIWI stands a few yards away. She is slender and athletic, a baby blue bandanna holds down her pink cotton candy looking dreadlocks, a small bag is slung across her ample chest; she has a firm grip on a long bullwhip. Kiwi speaks with a thick New Zealand accent.
KIWI
There’s no smoking in the museum.
With a flick of her wrist and a CRACK of the whip the cigar flies from Brickhouse’s lips.
KIWI
You could damage the artifacts.
Brickhouse chuckles softly, sets aside the staff.
BRICKHOUSE
A Kiwi?
KIWI
That’s Miss Kiwi to you.
She coils the whip and hooks it on her belt.
BRICKHOUSE
So, they send a girl to do a man’s job?
Kiwi pats her bag.
KIWI
I’ve come prepared.
Brickhouse puts up his dukes.
BRICKHOUSE
Bring it!
Kiwi pulls a silver ball from her bag, pushes a hidden button; a light in the ball begins to flash yellow. She winds up and throws the ball.
Brickhouse flinches, but the ball falls short and rolls to his feet. He throws back his head and laughs.
BRICKHOUSE
You may throw like a girl, but you sure have balls.
He bends over, picks up the ball.
Kiwi only smirks as she sticks plugs into her ears.
Brickhouse continues to look at the ball; the light changes to a steady red. Suddenly the ball emits a high-pitched SQUEAL. He drops the ball, claps his hands to his ears, drops to his knees.
Kiwi takes off like a shot. She jumps, flips and lands on Brickhouse’s back. She slides an arm around his neck in a chokehold.
KIWI
You’re going down, Brickhouse.
Brickhouse struggles to his feet; Kiwi holds on tight. He kicks the SCREAMING ball with all the gusto of a place kicker. The ball flies out the door and the SCREAMING fades.
BRICKHOUSE
Play nice...
He reaches back, grabs Kiwi and throws her across the room. She slams into mummy display; grunts.
Kiwi rolls over and comes face to face with the mummy.
KIWI
Ugh! You look like I feel.
Suddenly Brickhouse pulls Kiwi off the floor; her feet dangle a foot off the ground.
Brickhouse cocks his arm, ready to throw a punch. He stops short as Kiwi levels an aerosol can at him.
BRICKHOUSE
What’s that? You wanna do my hair?
KIWI
Naff off!
She presses down on the nozzle; a green cloud erupts from the can staining Brickhouse’s face with paint. He screams, drops Kiwi with a thud.
BRICKHOUSE
Get back here bitch!
He begins to flail about wildly. As he throws punches Kiwi dodges then lands a kick of her own.
KIWI
Take that you Bogan!
Brickhouse stumbles around the exhibit with all the grace of a bull in a china shop. His wild punches destroy cases, vases and tablets.
He stops, feels the air around him.
BRICKHOUSE
Marco...
Kiwi hovers around Brickhouse.
KIWI
Polo...
Brickhouse spins around, punches, destroys another artifact. Kiwi giggles.
BRICKHOUSE
Marco...
Kiwi moves in front of a pillar.
KIWI
Polo!
She simulates waving a cape; Brickhouse dives at her. Kiwi moves out of the way just in time and Brickhouse slams head first into the pillar. He slides to the floor unconscious.
Kiwi leans over the heap, takes out her spray can and begins to create. She steps back to admire her work. The letter scrawled across Brickhouse’s back read: KIWI RULEZ!
Kiwi shakes her head; then walks over to where the staff has fallen, picks it up. Startled by BREAKING GLASS, Kiwi looks up to see...
Brickhouse climbing out a window. He looks back.
BRICKHOUSE
This isn’t over!
He leaps out. Kiwi rushes to the broken window.
MALE VOICE (O.S.)
What the hell is going on here?
Kiwi turns toward the voice, holds the staff behind her back.
The museum CURATOR rushes into the room, a SECURITY OFFICER follows.
KIWI
Um, nothing... buggered all.
The curator moves around the room as if in a trance, he pulls at his hair.
CURATOR
My life’s work... all of it. Destroyed!
Kiwi pulls the staff out from behind her back.
KIWI
Well, not all of it.
The curator shoots her a glare; then breaks down in tears.
The security officer places a hand on Kiwi’s shoulder, whispers.
SECURITY OFFICER
You had better get out of here.
Kiwi nods, scurries out of the exhibit still holding the staff.
As the sobbing curator continues to pick through the rubble, the camera moves in on the fallen mummy. Closer. Closer still until all we see is the mummy’s head.
Suddenly the eyes open!
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
EXT. ROOFTOP – CITY MUSUEM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Debris BANGS down, and an alarm SCREAMS through a hole in the roof. BRICKHOUSE lands with a CRUNCH.
We see his back as he watches the park behind the museum, the STAFF OF RESSURECTION in one hand, moonlight reflecting off a GOLDEN CHALICE and a DAGGER in his belt.
Someone else lands softly behind him. He turns his head slightly--he heard it, expected it.
THE GNAT is masked in black tights. He strides forward.
THE GNAT
You might not want to believe it, but you know whoever you bring back, it won’t be her.
BRICKHOUSE
You don’t know that.
THE GNAT
Let her rest.
Brickhouse turns. His skin’s like a weathered brick; only his eyes seem human.
BRICKHOUSE
She was your mother too.
THE GNAT
Do you think this is what she’d want?
BRICKHOUSE
Of course it is.
THE GNAT
You got me there. She did have a tattoo of herself sodomizing death with a strap on dildo.
BRICKHOUSE
She died saving this city.
THE GNAT
Because she wanted to own it.
BRICKHOUSE
Is that so bad?
THE GNAT
It’s not good.
(a beat)
I can’t let you bring her back.
BRICKHOUSE
You can’t stop me.
Brickhouse jumps away, growing smaller over the park.
THE GNAT
(softly)
Stevie.
EXT. PARK – NIGHT
The Gnat flies like a missile straight into Brickhouse, redirecting him down towards
A GROVE OF TREES
into which he crashes like a meteorite. Earth EXPLODES, leaving a trough in the soil.
BRICKHOUSE
coughs in the dust that hangs around him. Half buried, blood on his lip, he stares up at
THE GNAT
who hovers in front of the moon.
BRICKHOUSE
moves the staff to the other hand and RIPS a tree from the ground and throws it like a spear.
THE GNAT
moves aside. Dodges another. Another. And another.
BRICKHOUSE
is ready to throw one more when he notices a double-decker bus loaded with tourists. He launches the tree at it.
THE GNAT
flies after, and just above the tree, he looks up, the bus is close. He redirects the treetop into the ground, but sends the tree tumbling wildly towards the
TOUR BUS
on which the tourists SCREAM.
THE GNAT
gives it everything he’s got, but he’s not going to make it. He’s not going to make it. Then he does. He’s there. Just in time he redirects the tree over the bus and into a pond.
He hovers next to the bus catching his breath.
TOUR GUIDE
(filtered)
Ladies and gentlemen. The Gnat.
A round of applause. Cameras flash.
MALE TOURIST
Way to go the Gnat!
FEMALE TOURIST
I just find him annoying.
MALE TOURIST
Hello! The Gnat!
The Gnat shrugs, salutes, and resumes pursuit of
BRICKHOUSE
who lands with a THUNDER too close to a crowd gathered for opera but dispersing now in panic. He sees the Gnat and throws a lamppost, a bench, and then a boulder, all of which
THE GNAT
dodges without slowing until he sees
TWO CHILDREN,
OLDER BROTHER and YOUNGER BROTHER, unable to avoid the boulder.
THE GNAT
scoops them up and the boulder rolls harmlessly to a stop. He sets them behind it.
THE GNAT
Hide here.
OLDER BROTHER
That was awesome!
YOUNGER BROTHER
Thank you Mister the Gnat.
The Gnat ruffles his hair.
THE GNAT
Take care of your brother.
SCREAMS. The Gnat produces a retractable baton in each hand. And flies after
BRICKHOUSE
who tries to knock him down but misses as the Gnat swirls around him.
THE GNAT
drums blow after blow on vulnerable spots but in slow motion Brickhouse doesn’t even seem to move. Each blow appears light, but it’s a death of a thousand cuts.
BRICKHOUSE
BELLOWS, unable to land a punch, drops the staff, falls to his knees, but the attack continues, the striking batons so fast they sound like a power saw cutting bricks.
Brickhouse reaches out.
BRICKHOUSE
Kevin.
The Gnat stops. His mental anguish equals Brickhouse’s physical pain, and he wants to take the hand, pauses, reaches.
Brickhouse GRABS AHOLD OF the Gnat’s uniform. Hits him.
THE GNAT
flies backwards fast but as limp as a doll. He smashes into the boulder, splitting it. He’s quickly on his feet, but it’s instinct. He’s back to his knees, coughing buckets of blood and gasping for air.
THE GNAT
Can’t breath.
He pulls his mask off and crawls. GASPING.
BRICKHOUSE
picks up the staff and leaps to the Gnat. Standing over him, he carefully chooses his target and delivers a terrible blow to his back. The Gnat goes limp. He can’t move.
Brickhouse rolls him over.
THE GNAT
You try and use that thing, and it’s going to tell you you need a good man’s lifeblood to complete the spell.
BRICKHOUSE
I already knew that.
THE GNAT
You’re not like that.
BRICKHOUSE
She always liked you more.
Brickhouse slits the Gnat’s throat with the dagger and collects his blood in the chalice.
He finishes. Stands. Is about to go, but hears a RUSTLE.
The two boys are hiding behind the boulder. Younger brother buries his face in older brother’s shirt. Older brother watches fearfully. Brickhouse’s gaze lingers on them. He leaps away.
WIPE CUT TO:
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
EXT. ROOFTOP / MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
It’s calm out there. A BIRD alights on a puddle of still water. Takes a sip. Shakes off dust from its feathers.
A ROAR. Waves in the water. Another ROAR. The bird looks up. A BIGGER ROAR. The ground is shaking.
A DEAFENING sound raises from the building.
In a CLATTER of concrete, metal --- and feathers, BRICKHOUSE breaks his way through the roof, holding an ancient wooden STAFF in his monster’s hand.
A SWAT helicopter circles around the rooftop. All lights on Brickhouse. On the open platform
SERGEANT MIKE
It’s over Brick-head! Put down that piece of art or we’ll shoot you.
BRICKHOUSE
What do YOU know about art.
He grabs his fire blaster from his tool belt.
SERGEANT MIKE
Last warning!
BRICKHOUSE
Hey Sergeant! Let me repaint your ass!
Brickhouse aims and shoots. Hell breaks loose. Helicopter in flames.
Sergeant Mike jumps from the helicopter to the rooftop. Strong fall. He’ll survive.
Helicopter crashes on the building, throwing flames over Brickhouse. He stays still.
Sergeant Mike rushes toward Brickhouse, shooting his gun--- not the regular kind. Bullets either, are not regular. It’s powerful, fast and accurate. Sergeant’s own designed weapon of choice.
Brickhouse dodges the bullets.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Don’t waste your time!
SERGEANT MIKE
You’re going back to Wilkinson!
Few meters away from Brickhouse. Sergeant Mike runs out of ammunitions.
Brickhouse’s skin is turning red, as he’s gaining power.
BRICKHOUSE
Chances are very low, Sergeant!
SERGEANT MIKE
I’ll take those!
He reloads his gun.
POLICEMEN erupt on the rooftop. Shoot at Brickhouse.
Brickhouse throws his fire blaster, joins his hands, then gives a phenomenally strong kick to the ground. Concrete split under him.
The rooftop is crumbling. Sergeant Mike and the policemen freeze.
Brickhouse raises the staff in front of him.
BRICKHOUSE
You don’t even know its power. The perfect beauty that lies within this humble shape.
SERGEANT MIKE
What makes you believe that YOU can be the owner of such a power?
BRICKHOUSE
I’ve build it! And you stole it from me. You and your people, messengers of fear, you broke the rules! Rules that my father, and his father before him, set to protect our planet.
The building is on the verge of collapsing.
SERGEANT MIKE
Let my people go. This is between you and me.
Brickhouse looks at the policemen. Smiles.
BRICKHOUSE
Fallen army---
He joins his hands again. The policemen stare at him, in awe.
SERGEANT MIKE
Don’t do that!
Brickhouse puts all his power into another powerful kick to the ground.
Huge pieces of concrete peel off the building. The policemen, screaming, falls from the roof to the street bellow.
SERGEANT MIKE (CONT’D)
You bastard!
Sergeant Mike runs away, turning around Brickhouse. Big GAPS form under his feet.
Brickhouse holds the staff on top of him, imploring the sky.
BRICKHOUSE
There’ll be no peace in this world. You, humans, are greedy. Let me be your confessor!
Sergeant Mike jumps over a gaping hole. Grabs a small electronic device – a BOMB – from under his bulletproof jacket. Landing on the other side of the hole, he throws it at Brickhouse. Then, he ducks behind a water tank and covers his head.
SERGEANT MIKE
Confess this!
Brickhouse catches the bomb. He holds firmly to the staff, screaming in an unknown language.
The bomb EXPLODES, spreading Brickhouse all over the rooftop--- Another brick in the wall.
Strangely, the staff, untouched, stands strict on the ground.
Sergeant Mike looks up. Sees the staff.
SERGEANT MIKE (CONT’D)
What the...
A thunder sound erupts from the sky. A terrifying dark cloud spreads over the staff.
Sergeant Mike holds his breath. A storm is rising on the rooftop.
Then it’s silent again--- too silent.
In a FLASH, tiny little shiny stars falls from the sky, gathering around the staff. They turn around it. Faster. FASTER.
A roar.
Sergeant Mike aims his gun at the staff. It CAN’T be.
A BIGGER roar. The shiny stars turn at an unreal pace, creating a storm. A shape is emerging from it.
On SERGEANT MIKE
His eyes are pure scare.
Angle ON
The shape.
It’s familiar. It’s getting bigger--- and bigger. Far from human.
Sergeant Mike walks backward, unable to take his eyes from the shape.
SERGEANT MIKE (CONT’D)
I’ve killed you! You can’t be, you can’t BE!
Brickhouse arises from the storm, impressive as ever. Holding the staff in his hand.
BRICKHOUSE
I’ve told you. This piece of art is a cradle of life.
Sergeant Mike, in despair, shoots at Brickhouse. Bullets fly over him.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
That was your last mistake, Sergeant. Come catch me, if you can!
Brickhouse, laughing his way out, jumps from the edge of the rooftop to a building nearby.
Sergeant Mike rushes for the exit staircase, calling in his radio.
SERGEANT MIKE
Robbie, he’s still alive, heading south. Go get him!
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
EXT. NEW YORK CITY – DAY
We follow a police helicopter as it cruises over downtown. It stops as we see The City Museum of Ubiquities below. The museum roof sports a giant gaping hole. The filtered voice of a MALE HELICOPTER PILOT:
PILOT (O.S.)
Whoa, we’ve got an explosion or... something going on at the museum...
RUMBLING. The whole city shakes as we see BRICKHOUSE. He’s a twenty story tall stone monster. Like a giant evil Buddha statue come to life. He crashes through the city, destroying cars and buildings by his sheer presence.
PILOT
Holy! Shit! Get us the hell out of--
Brickhouse swats the helicopter away like a fly, sending it spiraling to the street. He wields the Ancient Staff as a weapon, it’s scale now matching his.
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – THAT MOMENT
THE CONDOR stands in front of the floor to ceiling window in the Mayor’s high-rise office. We look over his shoulder at Brickhouse who is rampaging through the city in the distance.
The door opens and the MAYOR bursts in.
MAYOR
(out of breath)
It’s Brickhouse... he’s stolen the... the Ancient Staff and now he’s... he’s 20 stories tall!
The Condor turns to us for the first time. He is 30s, handsome, wearing a black rubber costume meant to resemble a sleek bird.
THE CONDOR
Yeah, I know.
MAYOR
What are you still doing here?!
THE CONDOR
I’d still like to have our meeting if that’s OK?
MAYOR
Our meeting but...
The Mayor looks out the window as Brickhouse swipes the Ancient staff through the top of the city library, obliterating it into a spilled mess of brick.
THE CONDOR
Yes, I’m hip to the emergency at hand. But that’s kinda why I’m here. Um. How to put this... Well, here it is: I’d like to discuss my contract.
MAYOR
Your... what? What contract?
THE CONDOR
Well, exactly. I don’t have one, and I’d like one.
MAYOR
Can you go stop him and we’ll figure this out later?
THE CONDOR
That’s sort of how this conversation always goes isn’t it? Fix the crime and we can talk later, well... I’m not doing so well lately and I need some cash.
MAYOR
Condor, go stop him!
THE CONDOR
Whoa, whoa... You know I don’t respond well to imperatives. I work best when I’m allowed to believe I’m choosing what I do. My therapist says it’s a defiance of authority thing. My mother... blah blah, you know how it is.
In the distance Brickhouse raises the Ancient staff. A purple beam emits from the end, casting a bright ray of light at the Empire State Building which EXPLODES. The Mayor’s office shudders from the shock wave.
THE CONDOR
Here’s my bottom line. I want ten percent.
MAYOR
Ten percent of what?!
THE CONDOR
Huh, that’s a good question, I was so fixated on ten percent that I’m actually not sure of what.
The Mayor puts his hands on his hips contemptuously.
MAYOR
Superman never worked for money.
THE CONDOR
Well, he had a nice day job to pay the bills, didn’t he? I don’t have any secondary skills. I’ve been doing some web work on the side but it’s few and far between.
Brickhouse is pounding on a low building like he’s playing the drums. The smashing shakes the mayor’s office and debris flies through the city.
THE CONDOR
I’d also like dental. My mother made a good point that most companies would offer some sort of dental. I’m thinking about Invisalign and it ain’t cheap.
MAYOR
Are you crazy?
THE CONDOR
Well I’m not getting braces if that’s what you’re insinuating.
MAYOR
OK, Condor. I get your God damn point. We’ll put you on the city payroll, OK?
THE CONDOR
I like, I like.
MAYOR
And we’ll give you dental and a 401k, how’s that? Now, do you have any thoughts involving Brickhouse, and his little romp through the city?
The Condor steeples his hands up to his mouth, asking carefully:
THE CONDOR
Christmas bonus?
MAYOR
Yes, Condor, you’ll get a Christmas bonus.
The Condor does a little first pump.
THE CONDOR
This all sounds great! What a relief this conversation was. I was so nervous you know? But my mother was right, I was selling myself short.
MAYOR
OK, great Condor.
The Mayor gestures at Brickhouse who jumps and grabs a low flying 747 from the sky. He uses it like a baseball bat to smash the Chrysler building.
THE CONDOR
Right, absolutely. But, uh, can I get something up front?
The Mayor frowns, confused.
THE CONDOR
I literally don’t have a nickel on me, and after this shindig I’m gonna need a Gatorade at the least. Probably some protein too. Ham sandwich, I haven’t decided.
The Mayor stares at The Condor incredulously as he pulls a twenty from his wallet and hands it over.
THE CONDOR
Thank you so much. I swear you won’t regret this.
The Condor jumps and smashes through the plate glass window flying off into the distance toward Brickhouse.
July 22nd, 2009 at 8:31 pm
FADE IN:
EXT. CITY STREETS – NIGHT
The night is quite and we are on an avenue surrounded by tall buildings. From a window on one such building, BRICKHOUSE leaps through the glass and lands on the pavement below.
It’s too dark to see his face, but we can tell that he’s in a trench coat and is wearing a hat. He has a staff in one hand. He leaps into the air, covering a distance of fifty feet!
He bounds through the streets as if he’s running, when a barely audible VOICE comes through, garbled.
VOICE
The alarm at Ubiquities is indicating a possible break-in. Any squad cars in the area?
INT. POLICE CAR
A COP grabs his radio.
OFFICER
I’m at LaSalle and 50th. I’m on it.
The cop takes his car out of park and lurches forward, just when Brickhouse comes bounding by. The cop hits the breaks and looks stunned. He flips on his siren and floors it, chasing after the suspect.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
The cop runs through red lights and dodges what little traffic there is this time of night, trying desperately to catch-up to Brickhouse.
The suspect stops jumping, turns to the cop car, and holds up the staff. It has a serpent’s head on top of it. Brickhouse slams the butt of the staff against the ground and the serpent’s head emits a green pulse that hits the squad car, spinning it in circles uncontrollably. Brickhouse then leaps away.
Once the car eventually comes to a halt, the cop grabs his radio.
OFFICER
He has the Staff of Mazone! Suspect has the Staff of Mazone!
EXT. ELSEWHERE IN THE CITY – NIGHT
A MAN in black leather on a motorcycle touches his helmet, as if he’s listening.
OFFICER (VO)
The suspect is somewhere on the Northside, east of LaSalle. Be advised he’s got the ancient staff...
The voice cuts out as the man starts-up his motorcycle and speeds off.
The motorcyclist is traveling at great speeds and enters a city park. He hops a curb and guns it over a grassy field. He jumps back onto the pavement, turns sharply; the bike is drifting sideways.
He comes to a stop under some trees at the park’s exit; the engine is still humming. Brickhouse is bounding into view, coming obliviously towards the man on the motorcycle.
The man stops the engine and pulls out a flare gun. Just as Brickhouse leaps over him, the man fires, hitting Brickhouse perfectly. Brickhouse falls right in front of the man, who dives off the bike and lands directly on the suspect.
They struggle. With one hand, the man pins Brickhouse’s arm with the staff, and with the other hand grabs Brickhouse by the throat. The suspect’s hat comes off and we see that Brickhouse is blind in one eye and has numerous scars across his face.
Brickhouse is trying to hit the man with his free hand, but the man won’t let up. Brickhouse starts to raise his arm with the staff, struggling with all his might.
The man takes his hand off Brickhouse’s throat and now has both hands grasped around Brickhouse’s hand, which is still clutching the staff. He twists Brickhouse’s arm just so that the serpent’s head is aimed right at Brickhouse’s face. And in one motion, he slams the butt of the staff against ground. The serpent’s head emits a green pulse which blasts Brickhouse’s head to pieces.
The man leaps up with the staff and is waiting for more action, but Brickhouse’s headless body is just laying there, dead. The man slowly carries the staff back to his motorcycle.
He starts up the engine and begins cruising down the street.
FADE OUT.
THE END
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Sorry about that. Here’s the correct formatted version.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
SMASH. Glass falls to the marble floor. An ALARM SOUNDS.
BRICKHOUSE, a big man, dressed in a worn collared shirt and an untied tie, grabs the ancient staff from the broken BULLETPROOF, glass case.
He holds the staff up to the sky and utters ancient words. Words we can’t understand.
Inside the museum RAIN begins to fall. Clouds form as lightning and thunder bellow through the exquisitely structured hall.
Brickhouse continues his chants.
EXT. MUSEUM. STREET
POLICE line up outside of the museum. JOURNALISTS report the scene behind the police quarantine. JACK LANNIGAN, lanky, confident and just sick of it, listens to the MAN IN CHARGE (or so he thinks), OFFICER MONTY.
MONTY
OK. Brickhouse is --
JACK
Look... I’ll go in there, alright. Just don’t call him Brickhouse. Just some name you people ‘fashioned’. You don’t even know how he came to get that name.
MONTY
Whatever, Jack. Do you think you can stop him?
JACK
Do you think the White Sox are going to win the World Series?
MONTY
I don’t know.
JACK
Me neither. I know more about baseball than I know about these new found abilities I got. Ya dig?
MONTY
Jesus, Christ man.
JACK
He’s an old friend. And he’s a troubled man. We’ve had these little seminars at work for helping people break out of ruts. Maybe I can help.
GRUMBLE. Jack looks up to the sky.
Black clouds start to form above the police. The clouds breed like birds flying in a tornado. LIGHTNING, THUNDER shakes and illuminates the sky.
JACK
(pointing to the sky)
You see, he’s obviously a very troubled man.
A RIP in the sky reveals a PURPLE/RED hue, mixed with the darkened blue of the natural, earthly atmosphere. It begins to rain. DOWNPOUR.
JACK
That can’t be good.
MONTY
Come on, Jack! Recreate that heroic thing you did yesterday.
JACK
Recreate that heroic thing? Very specific. I don’t even know you!
A wet Monty looks at the rip in the atmosphere. A SCREECH from the RIP deafens the mood.
JACK
That is definitely... a bummer.
Jack walks away from Monty. The steps of the museum await him. Jack walks toward the museum like a boy who has to go pick up eggs for his mother. Something he just doesn’t want to do.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
Brickhouse’s chants reverberate through the room as if they are coming from the walls. There is something ancient in him. Something he knows that others don’t.
JACK
Yo, Artie.
Brickhouse stops and turns to see Jack.
BRICKHOUSE
Jack.
JACK
Artie. What the hell are you doing?
BRICKHOUSE
Ending it all.
JACK
This is just like you, Artie. Deal with it, man. Life sucks sometimes. The bully can’t bully anymore? Now he needs spiritual bully karma? Look at the bright side. You can throw cars the length of a football field. When ever I get all messed up in the head I just remember how good looking I am, and how, now that we’re not in high school, I can kick your ass.
Brickhouse puts the staff in his belt and stands toward Jake like a bull.
BRICKHOUSE
We’ll see.
Jack sighs.
JACK
Dammit. Big mouth.
Brickhouse grabs a COFFIN off of the floor and hurls it at Jack. Jack’s eyes are wide as he takes a leap about twenty feet off the ground, dodging the coffin.
EXT. MUSEUM. STREET
The coffin breaks through the front glass doors. The coffin bounces on the street and stands erect for a moment before falling down flat.
Monty looks at the coffin.
MONTY
I hope that isn’t Jack in there.
Now everything is thrown out through the front doors. URNS, GLASS CASES, FIREHOSES, FIRE EXTINGUISHERS...
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
Jack is in midair jumping off of every item Brickhouse throws at him. As he’s dodging and jumping on these items he’s getting himself closer to Brickhouse.
Brickhouse, with amazing speed, keeps throwing everything he can find but his arsenal is getting low. Brickhouse digs his huge hands into the marble, ripping it up from the floor. He throws the marble pieces at Jack.
Jumping off a piece of marble, Jack closes in on Brickhouse. Brickhouse raises the STAFF and utters a chant.
Jack’s midair antics stop. He’s frozen in midair. Brickhouse motions the staff toward the ceiling, where lights are broken and electricity is exposed. Jack looks up, listening to the buzz of the open current.
JACK
Great. This is -- Just great.
BRICKHOUSE
Jack, Jack, Jack. Just because I’m brawn doesn’t mean I don’t have any brains.
JACK
Artie, no one ever said you didn’t have brains. Every human has a brain. Look at your head. It’s obvious you have a brain. A huge one.
Jack is thirty five feet off the ground. He is levitated closer and closer to the exposed electricity coming from the ceiling. Brickhouse concentrates. Chants.
Jack sees Brickhouse’s lips move. Jack speaks under his breath in the same RHYTHM as Brickhouse.
The electric sparks from the broken lights get closer...
Closer...
Jack tunes into the ‘vibe’ of Brickhouse. His eyes. His rhythm. Jack looks up to see he is as close to the electricity as he can get. With out being shocked.
Jack tunes into Brickhouse. He closes his eyes. Everything goes silent. Just the voices. Jut the rhythm.
Jack’s hands begin to become free. Jack opens his eyes and is able to wave his arms freely. Instead of going up, he is now coming down.
Brickhouse begins to panic.
BRICKHOUSE
How are you --
JACK
I don’t have brawn so I need to use my head.
Jack slowly falls toward Brickhouse. Brickhouse struggles. Jack sees the STAFF. Jack dips his hands to the staff.
Closer.
Closer.
Brickhouse struggles.
JACK
You see, Artie. Our abilites relate.
Jack takes hold of the end of the staff. Brickhouse tries to pull it away but can’t. Jack begins to grow in size. Brickhouse begins to get smaller.
Jack’s eyes widen as he becomes bigger and bigger. Brickhouse becomes smaller and smaller.
Jack towers over Brickhouse. The clouds begin to fade. Jack’s hand makes the staff look like a metric ruler. Brickhouse holds on with two hands. Brickhouse can’t hold on. He lets go.
Jack stands twenty feet tall. Brickhouse stands four feet tall. Brickhouse looks up at Jack and pouts.
BRICKHOUSE
(munchkin voice)
What the hell, Jack!
Jack looks at himself in the reflection of the tall windows in the museum.
JACK
(deep voice)
Ahh man. I gotta get this fixed.
EXT. MUSEUM. STREET
Officer Monty stands with his gun out. The street littered with everything Brickhouse offered. The clouds fade from the sky. The RIP in the sky, gone.
MONTY
I think he did it.
Monty looks at the crowd gathered. They are quiet.
MONTY
(to crowd)
I think he did it!
The crowd cheers. They all look at the front of the museum and their cheers turn to screams. Monty trains his gun on the museum.
In the doorway of the museum is the face of Jack, bigger than normal. He can’t fit through the doorway.
JACK
(deep voice)
You happy now? Call my wife. Tell her I’m stuck at the museum.
Good luck to everyone!
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Technology has not been my friend tonight. Sorry for the screwups.
INT. KITCHEN -- NIGHT
HORACE is sitting in front of a plate of meatloaf. It looks horrible. He picks at his food.
GINNY
I made this special for you.
HORACE/THE GREEN GLOW
Thank you.
He takes a bite.
HORACE/THE GREEN GLOW (CONT.)
Is that cinamon?
GINNY
It’s supposed to add character.
HORACE/THE GREEN GLOW
It’s very... It reminds me of...
A green light on the wall flashes with a synchronized buzz. Horace looks up quickly.
GINNY
I won’t wait up.
CUT TO:
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
A massive barricade of police cars line the street. Two helicopters circle the building, searchlights trained on the museum entrance. A lime green Mini Cooper with green neon ground effects comes screeching to a stop. Out steps THE GREEN GLOW, dressed in a tight green outfit with two Gs on the front. He walks up to a few officers and the POLICE CHIEF.
POLICE CHIEF
Thanks for coming.
THE GREEN GLOW
No. Thank you. It’s meatloaf night.
The Police Chief gives a sympathetic grimmace.
THE GREENGLOW (CONT.)
What’s the problem?
POLICE CHIEF
Someone broke into the museum.
THE GREEN GLOW
Professionals?
POLICE CHIEF
We don’t know.
The Police Chief points to a 12 foot wide whole in the side of the building.
POLICE CHIEF (CONT.)
They put in that new entrance and they may have hostages.
There is movement inside the entrance. The entrance goes dark as a car-sized marble slab crashes through the front door. A large figure appears in the entrance. BRICKHOUSE steps into the light. His skin looks part stone. He’s holding a jewel-encrusted staff and gazes at the police barricade around him.
THE GREEN GLOW
(Under his breath)
Brickhouse!
Brickhouse reaches out and grabs a gigantic stone section of a pillar. He tosses it, crumpling a police car and sending policemen scattering.
He grabs another section and throws it at a car close to The Green Glow. Now weakened, the entire entrance collapses. Brickhouse calmly takes a few steps forward to avoid the rubble.
With many large rocks at his disposal, he begins heaving them at each cop car. He sees the chief and launches a truly massive stone at him. It’s mere feet from crushing him when The Green Glow steps forward. He raises his hands as if to catch the rock. A glow circles his body, the rock stops in mid-air. He clasps his hands together and the rock crumbles to dust.
Brickhouse throws two more stones, but they meet the same end.
THE GREEN GLOW
I can do this all night.
Brickhouse, now angered, takes the staff, raises it and crashes it down on the steps beside him. A shockwave blows out in all directions, shattering windows.
The remaining stones around him lift up and float just off ground. Large chunks of stone from the steps break loose and do the same. Brickhouse throws his arms into the air and screams. The rocks fly in all directions, destroying cars and leaving gaping holes in buidings like they were toys.
The last few policemen flee.
The rocks come back and fly into a column above The Green Glow. He looks up.
THE GREEN GLOW
This is not gonna feel good.
The rocks come crashing down on him.
He creates a glow around his body just before he’s buried under tons of debris. Silence. Brickhouse climbs on top of his new rock mountain.
BRICKHOUSE
Any who stand in my way will be crushed. This is my town now, and I’m gonna make it rock.
He climbs down and exits down a side street. Once again, silence.
A light rumbling sound. It gets louder. A small rock moves. A green hand rises from the rock dust.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:32 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM – DAY
BRICKHOUSE, a massive, ogre of a man, pulls the STAFF OF LIFE from a SECURITY GUARD’S chest with a WET, SUCKING POP.
The Guard crumples to the floor amid a heap of other bodies and broken artifacts.
Brickhouse takes a moment to admire the The Staff. He licks his lips as he runs his hand across the ancient, gnarled wood.
BRICKHOUSE
Now, I can -
WHIMPERING.
Brickhouse snaps his head around and we see MRS. DUTTON (40s) huddled over her 5TH GRADE CLASS as they crouch in the corner.
A loathsome smirk creeps up Brickhouse’s face.
He saunters toward the group.
MRS. DUTTON
Please. They’re just children.
BRICKHOUSE
Appetizers.
FEMALE VOICE (OS)
You really should take the janitorial staff into consideration the next time you decide to get all spazy.
Brickhouse turns and we see MARSHA HARMAN leaning against the door frame, calming picking her fingernails. If it wasn’t for the fact that she’s talking you might mistake her for a priceless work of art on exhibit.
She flashes a smile at Brickhouse and his face goes crimson.
She strides into the room and pulls her long, red hair back into a ponytail.
MARSHA
Those people have enough to do, what with the endless dusting and the fingerprint smudges on everything. They don’t need you turning the security guards into soup all over the floors.
BRICKHOUSE
Silence!
Mrs. Dutton and the children cringe.
MARSHA
I’m sorry. Was I interrupting you?
BRICKHOUSE
I now have the Staff of Life and I will bring about -
MARSHA
No, wait. Don’t tell me. Let me guess. You’re going to get all ironic here and tell me that you’re going to use the Staff of Life to create death. Right? Was I right? I was right, right?
BRICKHOUSE
I am going to take great pleasure in eating your heart, Ms. Harman.
MARSHA
Dinner is served, brick-face.
Brickhouse begins to raise the Staff over his head.
But before he can strike, Marsha crouches, spins and foot-sweeps his legs out from under him.
He goes down. Hard.
The Staff clatters to the floor and rolls toward Mrs. Dutton the the cowering children.
MARSHA
(To Mrs. Dutton) I don’t think you guys need a front seat for this.
Marsha picks up the Staff.
BILLY, 11, wearing his Cub Scout uniform points to the floor.
BILLY
Where’d he go?
Marsha turns and Brickhouse is gone.
MARSHA
Well, someone went and got all clever since -
SMASH!
An ancient, Grecian urn crashes down on Marsha’s head, driving her to the ground.
Mrs. Dutton and the students SHRIEK! And huddle back into the corner.
Brickhouse grabs one end of the Staff, but Marsha quickly recovers and tightens her grip on the other end.
Her smile is gone.
MARSHA
Okay, brick-hole, you wanna play dirty? Let’s dance.
There is a brief moment of tug-of-war, neither of them gaining or losing ground.
Brickhouse throws his weight into it and Heaves!
Marsha let’s go.
His momentum carries him backward, arms pinwheeling, trying to get his balance.
Marsha leaps through the air and kicks him in the chest. Her legs lash out as she kicks and spins and kicks some more. Driving Brickhouse back, his face and head beginning to bleed.
He finally regains his balance and blocks the next kick with the staff.
It stops her leg cold. She winces in pain.
Brickhouse uses the Staff to flip her leg up in the air, trying to get her off balance.
Marsha does a back-flip to clear out of the way, but Brickhouse is right there when she lands.
He swings the Staff like a base-ball bat.
She dodges the blow, but the Staff slashes through a marble pedestal, sending broken rock everywhere.
Now she’s on the defensive, backing away.
Brickhouse’s fury rises with every missed swipe, smashing floor tiles, blasting through pillars.
BRICKHOUSE
Hold still!
Marsha is backed toward the heap of dead security guards.
She steps on one, taking her eyes off Brickhouse for half a second.
It’s all the time he needs.
He swings the Staff at her head. Instinctively she raises her arm to block it.
CRACK!
MARSHA
Gah!
She grabs her broken arm.
Brickhouse swings again, taking out her feet.
She lands flat on her back among the dead bodies.
Brickhouse stands directly over her and puts the end of the Staff under her chin.
BRICKHOUSE
What’s that? Nothing clever to say?
He presses the Staff down on her throat.
BRICKHOUSE
No witty quips or smart-ass comments?
Marsha is gasping for air. She tries to move the Staff but she’s fading fast.
THUNK!
A piece of broken marble bounces off of Brickhouse’s shoulder.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
The children are pelting him with debris.
Billy has a chunk of stone loaded into his homemade wrist-rocket.
BILLY
Let her go!
Brickhouse looks at the students.
THWAP! Right between the eyes.
Brickhouse HOWLS!
The student SHRIEK!
Brickhouse turns his attention back to Marsha. She’s gone.
MARSHA (OS)
I thought of something to say.
Brickhouse turn toward her voice and right into her foot as it slams into his face
MARSHA
Go fuck yourself.
Brickhouse goes down.
The students CHEER!
The frickin’ SWAT TEAM finally sweeps in.
Brickhouse, amid the swirling chaos of scurrying Officers and students, manages to slip away. With the Staff.
Marsha surveys the damage.
Billy comes up to her with his kerchief in his hand. He reaches for her broker arm. She pulls back, warily.
BILLY
It’s okay. I’m a Cub Scout.
CUT TO:
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:43 pm
EXT. MODERN SKYSCRAPER – NIGHT
BRICKHOUSE goes into the skyscraper carrying an ANCIENT STAFF in one hand and a WOMAN draped over his shoulder. He’s seven feet tall and his skin is literally made out of brick.
INT. MODERN SKYSCRAPER – PENTHOUSE – NIGHT
An opulent penthouse apartment decorated with fine art and oriental rugs.
DOCTOR DIRE sits in a King’s chairs with a bevy of creatures / villains behind him. Doctor Dire, age 30, wears a business suit and dark sunglasses. He’s the ultimate Yuppie villain.
Brickhouse drops the staff and the woman at the feet of Doctor Dire. The staff is ornate with lots of gold and Egyptian hieroglyphics on it. The woman, age 28, is attractive but dressed plainly.
BRICKHOUSE
The staff of Ra and one virgin.
WOMAN
I have a little confession to make.
DOCTOR DIRE
This isn’t the staff of Ra. This is the staff of Bah made by a 1st century Egyptian sheep herder. It has no super power. Look!
The other villains start laughing at Brickhouse.
Doctor Dire points to a hieroglyphic on the staff.
DOCTOR DIRE
What does that say?
Brickhouse shrugs. It’s Greek to him.
Doctor Dire CRACKS the staff over Brickhouse’s head and it splinters into pieces.
WOMAN
You’re all under arrest. I’m only going to give you one chance to surrender.
The woman takes off her glasses, shakes her hair out and rips off her drab pant suit to reveal...
A super sexy superhero, BRILLIANT GIRL, wearing a skin tight blue leather suit with a giant “BG” emblem barely covering her ample chest.
The villains let out CAT CALLS and WHISTLES.
DOCTOR IGOR
(over the cat calls and whistles)
Who the hell are you?
BRILLIANT GIRL
I am Brilliant Girl.
The villains all look at each other and shrug.
BRILLIANT GIRL
I’m part of a superhero duo known as the Brilliants?
The villains still don’t recognize her.
BRILLIANT GIRL
I was on a short lived reality series on E! called Beautiful Boy and Girl?
The villains all nod recognizing her.
BRILLIANT GIRL
It was the producers decision to call us “Beautiful.” My real superhero name is Brilliant Girl not Beautiful Girl. I’m totally trying to down play my looks.
DOCTOR DIRE
(to Brickhouse)
Kill her!
Brickhouse moves toward Brilliant Girl. She backs up quickly. Brickhouse is at least five times her size.
Brickhouse punches...
Brilliant Girl cartwheels out of the way...
Brickhouse’s fist goes right through the wall sending debris into the street below...
STREET
The debris hits the street and scatters as...
POLICE CARS SCREECH to a halt followed by SWAT TRUCKS and then the entire U.S. ARMY!
HELICOPTERS swoop in above the street.
F-16 FIGHTERS tear by overhead.
CAPTAIN SMITH, a sincere army captain in his mid fifties, starts directing the POLICEMEN, SWAT TEAMS, SNIPPERS, ARMY MEN, TANKS, CANNONS, and MISSILE LAUNCHERS into place.
PENTHOUSE
Brickhouse lunges toward Brilliant Girl...
Brilliant Girl backflips out of the way.
BRILLIANT GIRL
Why do you let them treat you like shit? You’re better than that.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m not listening to a word you’re saying.
Brickhouse picks up a chair and throws it...
Brilliant Girl dives out of the way...
The chair splashes into pieces as it hits the wall.
BRILLIANT GIRL
They were laughing at you. You’re a joke to them. They sent you on a fools errand. Who reads hieroglyphics anyway?
Brickhouse is about to take another swing at her but he stops and thinks about this for a moment.
BRICKHOUSE
Yeah, how was I supposed to know what that the hieroglyphic said?
DOCTOR DIRE
Finish her!
BRILLIANT GIRL
Don’t listen to him. He’s using you.
Brickhouse hesitates.
DOCTOR DIRE
You’re not going to get into the Dome of Doom unless you kill her. Now!
Now Brickhouse is really starting to get mad. He lunges towards Brilliant Girl and slams his fists down...
Brilliant Girl nimbly jumps out of the way.
STREET
BRILLIANT BOY screams up on his slick magnetic-blue crotch rocket. He’s just as good looking and sexy as his partner and wears a similar sexy blue leather suit with a “BB” emblem on it. He passes several reporters as he moves through the crowd.
REPORTER #1
Is Beautiful Girl your sister or your girlfriend?
REPORTER #2
Is it true she had breast implants?
REPORTER #3
Is it true that your superpower is in your pants?
Brilliant Boy reaches Captain Smith.
CAPTAIN SMITH
Beautiful Boy, thank God you’re here.
BRILLIANT BOY
It’s “Brilliant” not “Beautiful”!
CAPTAIN SMITH
Sorry. Have you heard from your sister?
BRILLIANT BOY
She’s not my sister!
CAPTAIN SMITH
Girlfriend?
BRILLIANT BOY
She’s my superhero partner. That’s it!
CAPTAIN SMITH
Have you heard from her? Has she located the bomb?
Annoyed, Brilliant Boy pulls out his cell phone and makes the call.
PENTHOUSE
Brilliant Girl does several back flips in a row just barley avoiding Brickhouse’s onslaught of punches.
Her CELL PHONE, hanging on her belt, starts to RING. She grabs it.
BRILLIANT GIRL
(talking into her phone)
I don’t know where it is yet.
She taps the phone off as she dodges another massive punch from Brickhouse.
BRILLIANT GIRL
They’re never going to let you into their Dome of Doom. You know that, right?
BRICKHOUSE
You don’t know what you’re talking about.
BRILLIANT GIRL
You could be so much more. You don’t have to be in their Dome of Doom to feel like you belong.
Brickhouse stops for a moment.
BRICKHOUSE
Who else is going to accept me. You?
BRILLIANT GIRL
(hesitating)
Well... okay... yeah... maybe me.
BRICKHOUSE
If I wasn’t trying to smash your face into little bits would you go out on a date with me?
Brilliant Girl thinks about this for a long moment.
BALCONY
Doctor Dire and several villains run to the edge of the balcony and look down at the commotion on the street.
A fleet of F-16s screech by overhead and several helicopters hover closely.
One of the villains, the HUMAN HURRICANE, blasts wind and rain at the helicopters blowing them into the neighboring buildings.
DOCTOR DIRE
Get down there and raise some hell.
The villains dash away.
Doctor Dire looks at his TRANSMITTER, which has several buttons and blinks constantly. He shoves the transmitter into his pocket and pulls out his iPhone.
CLOSE – IPHONE / TWITTER HOME PAGE
STREET
An ARMY SARGENT moves up to Captain Smith, panicked.
ARMY SARGENT
Doctor Dire just tweeted that he was going to blow up the city if we didn’t give him one trillion dollars.
CAPTAIN SMITH
Fuck me! He’s got like two million followers!
People start pouring into the streets fleeing the city on foot, bicycle, motorcycle, car, and truck. It’s utter pandemonium.
CAPTAIN SMITH
Listen to me. I want you to send him a tweet back telling him that we’ll give him 10 billion dollars a week for 10 weeks. Tell him I talked to the President, the Senate, and Congress and that’s the absolute most we can do during these harsh economic times. One trillion dollars is out of the question. That should buy us some time until we can locate the bomb.
ARMY SARGENT
Yes, sir.
The Army Sargent pulls out his Blackberry and starts typing but then he stops.
CAPTAIN SMITH
What’s wrong? Why did you stop?
ARMY SARGENT
I think that’s more than 140 characters.
Suddenly villains come running out of the building.
The policeman, swat teams, snippers, army men, tanks, cannons, and missile launchers open fire.
One villain blasts fire at the policeman.
Another villain blasts a massive light beam at the tanks blowing several up.
Yet another villain catches the missiles and sends them flying back at the armed forces.
INT. ABANDONED BUILDING – BASEMENT
The off screen sound of explosions can be heard.
A tarp covers a GLOWING mound.
Brilliant Boy steps out of the shadows and pulls the tarp off revealing...
A massive NUCLEAR BOMB.
He rips the transmitter off the bomb and attaches a counter.
The bomb lights up and counter starts counting down... 5 minutes... 4 minutes 59 seconds... 4 minutes 58 seconds...
He crumples up a picture of Brilliant Girl and tosses it on the ground as he exits.
PENTHOUSE
Doctor Dire looks at his transmitter. It stops blinking. He smacks it a few times and tosses it over the edge of the building.
DOCTOR DIRE
Fucking AT&T.
Brickhouse steps out onto the balcony carrying Brilliant Girl’s limp body.
BREAKHOUSE
She’s dead.
DOCTOR DIRE
Toss her over the edge. I’ve got to get out of here. You go down and hold them off for as long as you can.
Brickhouse tosses Brilliant Girl up and as her body flies towards the edge...
She springs to life and lands safely on the railing.
BRILLIANT GIRL
No one is going anywhere. Tell us where the bomb is or Brickhouse will kill you.
DOCTOR DIRE
I’m not talking.
Brickhouse punches Doctor Dire in the head and...
Doctor Dire’s head rips off his body and flies through a glass window in the building across from them.
Doctor Dire’s headless body lies on the ground.
Brilliant Girl can’t believe what just happened.
BRILLIANT GIRL
Do you know where the bomb is?
BRICKHOUSE
No.
BRILLIANT GIRL
And you just killed the only person who does.
BRICKHOUSE
You told me to kill him.
BRILLIANT GIRL
I didn’t tell you to kill him. I just said that to try and get him to talk.
INT. ABANDONED BUILDING – BASEMENT
The timer clicks down to 1 minute... 59 seconds... 58... 57...
EXT. CITY – STREET
Brilliant Boy tears down the street in between the grid lock of cars going 150 MPH.
EXT. PARK
Brilliant Boy sits on his motorcycle looking back at the city. He looks at this watch.
INT. ABANDONED BUILDING – BASEMENT
The timer clicks down to 3 seconds... 2... 1...
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
EXT. ALLEYWAY – DAY
Grimy dumpsters. Oil slicked puddles. A dead raccoon.
Police sirens blare in the distance.
Into the alley, stumbles BRICKHOUSE. A four hundred pound hulk of a man with a comb over. His fist clinches a golden staff.
He keels over. Gasping for breath. Behind him prances...
OMAR. A lanky black man, dressed in full Cherokee garb. Head dress and all.
OMAR
What have I said all these years? Work on your cardio.
Without a word, Brickhouse swings the staff at Omar’s head. He ducks.
OMAR
So, that’s how it is? After all this time.
BRICKHOUSE
We’re done.
OMAR
Please. You can’t quit me.
In a flash, Brickhouse pins Omar against the wall. Staff across his throat.
OMAR
There’s that fire cracker I fell in love with.
BRICKHOUSE
I could kill you. Easy.
OMAR
Just like those guards back there?
Their eyes focus on the staff. Speckled with blood.
The sirens grow louder.
Brickhouse slams his fist into the wall, inches from Omar’s face. Cracks spider web outward. Like an ice sheet breaking.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m sick of the deception.
OMAR
I’ve never lied to you.
BRICKHOUSE
Two words. Patrick Swayze?
OMAR
That was one night. I haven’t seen him since.
BRICKHOUSE
But I see those genital warts every time you drop your boxers.
Quick, Omar smacks him.
OMAR
Cunt.
Brickhouse returns a pimp slap. Sending Omar flailing against a dumpster ten yards away.
He pulls himself up. Hocks a bloody loogie.
OMAR
What’s happened to us?
BRICKHOUSE
I’ve grown wise.
OMAR
We were voted “Cutest Couple” senior year of high school.
He wipes blood from his mouth.
OMAR
Now, look at us. You’re fat and I’m diseased.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m not fat.
OMAR
You’ve put on a few.
Brickhouse rubs his gut. Saddened by reality.
BRICKHOUSE
I guess I could hit the treadmill some.
OMAR
And I could stop being such a douche.
They share a warm smile, when...
A cruiser sweeps into the alley, blocking the exit. Two COPS spring out. Guns fixed.
COP
Down now! Drop the weapon!
Omar and Brickhouse eye each other.
OMAR
Let’s rock and roll.
Omar squats. Brickhouse climbs onto his lover’s back. Engulfing him. Omar struggles to keep balanced.
The Cops are slack jawed by the image: An obese monster straddling a black Indian.
BRICKHOUSE
Do that thing I like.
OMAR
The pinky thing? Now?
BRICKHOUSE
No. The sonic...
BOOM -- They rocket skywards.
Up. Up. Up. Wind cutting against their faces. They vanish into a puffy cloud. Then...
Erupt out the other end.
Their velocity peters out and they drift. Looking out over...
The city. Stretching for miles.
OMAR
I never slept with Swayze.
BRICKHOUSE
Why?
OMAR
His ass is too boney. I like my boys thick.
Brickhouse pecks him on the cheek.
BRICKHOUSE
He wouldn’t give up the buns, huh?
OMAR
Fuck no. Worked that cock tease all weekend. All I got was a back rub.
BRICKHOUSE
Some guys.
KABOOM -- They blast off. Leaving a lone vapor trail.
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:56 pm
EXT. ROOF OF THE PHILEDELPHIA MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES (2009) – DAY
It’s relatively quiet up here, except for the distant sounds of street traffic many stories below.
ANGLE ON the emergency exit to the roof as it bursts outward, door flying off its hinges. Hunched over, an immense man busts his way through the entrance. His shoulders are so wide they splinter the door frame as he comes through. This is BRICKHOUSE. He’s lean and gangly, with gray skin and ropey muscles hanging off his ape arms. More troll than man. He’s still got the HEAVY IRON STAFF gripped in one hairy-knuckled fist. It has an ORNATE HEADPIECE. Looks solid though.
BRICKHOUSE lets out a deep, bellowing snort. Then starts loping across the rooftop.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES STAIRWELL (2009) -- DAY
Our hero, SPARK, sprints up the stairs. Breath raw in his chest. Using the banister to haul himself forward, taking two steps at a time.
The rooftop exit is in front of him at last, bright with daylight. He puts his head down and dashes through.
EXT. ROOF OF THE PHILEDELPHIA MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES (2009) – DAY
SPARK emerges from the broken doorway and slows to a jog, looking right and left. A distant CRASH attracts his attention. REVERSE to the sight of BRICKHOUSE in mid-air. We’ve just missed seeing the giant make an inhuman leap to the opposing rooftop. The close edge of the museum is crushed from the power of his takeoff.
BRICKHOUSE hits the distant building with a massive CRUNCH! He doesn’t quite make it. Dangling from one arm, staff in the other, the giant scrambles to haul himself up over the edge.
SPARK dashes to the edge of the roof. He looks over the edge.
Ten stories down. Easily thirty feet across. There’s no hope in hell of making that jump.
He casts around desperately, his gaze landing on POWER CABLES. large, thick, and black. Three of them, running in parallel along the roof.
SPARK crouches, pulling off his glove. He grips the cable. Breaths deep.
SPARK
Come on. Work!
SPARK’s hair begins to frizz with static. A humming fills the air. A bright white light grows under SPARK’s legs.
With a flash and a CRACK! that could split the ozone layer, the harnessed electrical blast hurls him up and forward.
EXT. OPPOSITE BUILDING ROOF (2009) – DAY
BRICKHOUSE hauls himself up over the edge. REVERSE to look over BRICKHOUSE’s shoulder. We see SPARK flying through the air towards us.
SPARK slams shoulder-first into BRICKHOUSE’s back. The giant grunts out a breath. They go down in a tangle.
BRICKHOUSE is up immediately. Slamming a fist down towards SPARK’s head.
SPARK rolls backwards, ass over head, dodging. Barely. Manages to regain his feet. Small forks and arcs of electricity buzz up and down his limbs like little lightning bolts.
BRICKHOUSE swings the ANCIENT STAFF in a wide arc. SPARK spins out of the way. BRICKHOUSE swings it again. It clangs against a metal pipe, ringing like a tuning fork.
SPARK flips back and then thrusts his palm forward, kung-fu style.
A BOLT OF LIGHTNING arcs from SPARK’s palm, striking BRICKHOUSE in the shoulder. The giant topples over backwards. Doesn’t get back up, but we can see him breathing. Black smoke rises from his body where the bolt hit.
SPARK lets out a breath. Walks towards the body
LOW ANGLE up at SPARK
SPARK
Now, maybe you’ll tell me who wants that staff so ba...
Cut off by BRICKHOUSE’s HAND grabbing his throat. Lifting him off his feet, coming face to face with BRICKHOUSE’s ugly mug. Hot breath blowing his hair back. A yellow-toothed grimace. Now he’s angry.
BRICKHOUSE hurls SPARK towards the edge of the roof. SPARK manages to slow himself by digging in his heels and elbows, sliding to a stop before going over.
The building shakes as BRICKHOUSE lopes towards him, STAFF held like a relay baton.
On his back, SPARK thrusts his palm out again. Only a fizzle of electricity shoots out. BRICKHOUSE shrugs off the blast without slowing. Looks like the charge has been almost used up. BRICKHOUSE closes.
SPARK winces in anticipation.
EXT. ALLEY FIRE ESCAPE (2009) -- DAY
SPARK flies over the side of the building. He lands back-first on the fire escape stairs. Hard.
He stands up painfully. His face is bruised now. It’s still like four stories to the ground.
BRICKHOUSE lands on the fire escape with a crash, down the stairs from where SPARK is. The giant turns to glare up at him.
SPARK thrusts his palm. Nothing. Not a flicker. He starts to back up, but there is nowhere to go.
BRICKHOUSE begins to stalk up the metal staircase. His shoulder is still smoking from the earlier blast.
BRICKHOUSE
Out of power, little man?
SPARK is backed up against the banister. His looks around in a panic, then through the WINDOW next to him.
INT. APARTMENT (2009) -- DAY
SPARK is outside, looking through the grimy window into the apartment. PULL BACK to reveal, just inside, a desk with a lamp. An electric lamp.
EXT. ALLEY FIRE ESCAPE (2009) -- DAY
SPARK turns back to BRICKHOUSE and grins. Wrapping one hand around the iron banister.
Then smashes his hand through the glass of the window.
INT. APARTMENT (2009) -- DAY
SPARK’s HAND smashes through the glass, grabbing the lamp’s cord.
EXT. ALLEY FIRE ESCAPE (2009) -- DAY
ELECTRICITY courses over SPARK’s BODY. Down the banister. Enveloping the entire fire escape.
BRICKHOUSE looks startled at first. Then his eyes squeeze tight in agony, teeth clenching. His entire body spasms, lightning bolts arcing over him. He screams.
LIGHTNING ARCS UP THE STAFF. Then something strange happens.
The ORNATE HEADPIECE on top of the staff starts glowing blue. Crackling energy, but it doesn’t look much like electricity. It’s more like a swirling VORTEX of light, spiraling in to a central point. And the VORTEX is expanding.
SPARK releases his grip on the lamp cord and the fire escape banister. But that doesn’t seem to help.The VORTEX continues growing. Now BRICKHOUSE’s slumped form looks like it’s being sucked in.
A tendril of white energy flares out and wraps around SPARK’s ANKLE, pulling him off his feet. Dragging him towards the Vortex.
SPARK manages to grab the metal of fire escape. The force of the VORTEX is enough to lift his body off the ground. Hanging by only his fingers.
BRICKHOUSE is gone; completely enveloped. It’s too bright to see exactly what’s inside of this thing. The STAFF is barely visible -- a stick shadow in the center of a howling, white sun.
SPARK grits his teeth, trying to haul himself forward -- away from the VORTEX.
He loses his grip.
Tumbling towards it. SPARK hits the VORTEX. FLASH!
EXT. PHILEDELPHIA SIDE STREET (1749) -- NIGHT
This is Benjamin-Franklin-Era Philadelphia. The side street is dirt, the buildings are small, brick, brownstones. It’s dark, raining and muddy. In the distance, a horse-drawn cart with a lantern trots away.
FLASH! A white light briefly casts long shadows off the surrounding buildings.
SPARK appears in mid-air, and falls a good distance to land with a hard thud in the mud.
The STAFF thunks into the ground next to him.
The light in the STAFF’s ORNATE HEADPIECE flickers briefly, then goes out.
SPARK tries to raise his head and look around, but drops back and passes out.
The lightning running up and down his limbs buzzes a little, then they go out too. No electricity to power up with here.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM -- NIGHT
The museum is closed and only a few lights are left on for the security guard, FRANK. He cruises the floor with a flashlight and pop music BLARING out of his headphones.FRANK
Come on Charlie, you think I do this for fun?
The other security guard, CHARLIE, is late for the handover. Charlie is a surfer with long, bleached blonde hair. He is in his 40sCHARLIE
These night shifts are killing me, man.FRANK
Man you’re killing me, man.
Frank tosses Charlie a set of keys.INT. CITY MUSEUM -- LATER NIGHT
It is dead quiet. Charlie lights up a hand-rolled cigarette, probably a joint. He smokes, strolling through the ancient Egypt exhibit.
He shines his flashlight on a ghoulish looking Mummified corpse.CHARLIE
Look at you boy, you aint got no brains.
Charlie continues past an ANCIENT STAFF made of solid gold.
Now Charlie is in the atrium. The moon shines down from a giant glass ceiling. He is at the end of his joint. It burns his fingers and he drops it.
He reacts, quickly stamping it out.CHARLIE
Oh shit...
Black ash footprints are smeared all over the polished marble floor.
Charlie wheels the janitor’s trolley over to the mess. He sprays some pink fluid and gets down on his knees to scrub at it with a cloth. This has only made it worse, spreading the black muck out further.CHARLIE
Shit!
Charlie is getting frantic. He rummages through the trolley for the right utensil. He picks out a bottle of green stuff. He sniffs it; it smells like the one. He is relieved...
Suddenly, the glass ceiling SMASHES open, and a giant red beast, CRASHES down in a rain of glass. The marble floor SPLITS with his impact.CHARLIE
WOAAAAAAAAAA!
The beast picks himself up and turns to Charlie. He is twice his size and from some other world. This is BRICKHOUSE. Charlie looks at the shattered glass, the cracked floor and up in awe of this monster.CHARLIE
That... was AWESOME!
But he doesn’t comprehend what trouble he is in. Brickhouse conjures up a ball of energy and shoots it at him. It connects, sending him flying 30-feet. He hits the ground and slides another 20-feet till he hits the wall. Brickhouse makes for the Egypt exhibit.
Charlie is lying on the floor, motionless, possibly dead. After a moment, he picks himself up. His nose is bleeding. He calls for backup on his radio.CHARLIE
We got a situation here Frank! ...Frank?!
The radio is smashed up, broken. It’s no use.CHARLIE
Dammit
Charlie slowly manages to stand up. He draws his pistol and follows in the footsteps of the beast.
Brickhouse is looking for something. He has found it in the Egypt exhibit. It’s the ancient staff. He SMASHES the cabinet open and grabs it.
Charlie sneaks up on him, pistol drawn. He has got him!CHARLIE
Freeze motherfucker!
Brickhouse is not bothered. He conjures up another ball of energy and shoots it down the hall. Charlie takes cover in a recess. He musters up his courage and jumps out, unloading his pistol.
His aim is terrible. He shoots up the entire exhibit; pottery explodes, thousand-year-old papyrus scrolls fly off the walls, and even the mummified corpse is ruined in the frenzy.
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK; He is out of bullets. It’s quiet again. Too quiet. It dawns on him that Brickhouse has escaped. The ancient staff is missing.CHARLIE
You’ve really done it now, Charlie.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
INT. MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES -- DAY
Two GUARDS are standing near a display case in the center of a room. Banners hanging from the ceiling advertise the new exhibit TREASURES OF ATLANTIS.
GUARD 1
I don’t know why they think this stuff is so important that we had to double up on the guards. People want to look at it, sure, but ain’t nobody gonna steal it.
GUARD 2
Hey, you don’t have to tell me. I was supposed to be taking my kids to the beach, but my vacation got cancelled for thi--
A HUGE CRASH interrupts him.
GUARD 2
What was that?
GUARD 1
(Removing his radio from his belt)
I don’t know.
(Into his radio)
Johnny? You there, buddy? What’s going on out there?
The WALL explodes inward with a huge CLOUD OF DUST that obscures our vision. As it begins to clear, we see a hole leading to the next room and the silhouette of a MAN. He steps clear of the dust and we get our first look at BRICKHOUSE. Even a quick glance shows that he has been accurately named.
BRICKHOUSE
Evening, gentlemen.
Brickhouse strides toward the guards. Guard 1 pulls his NIGHTSTICK and swings at Brickhouse, who nonchalantly leans to the side, avoiding the blow. As the stick passes, Brickhouse grabs it and pulls it out of the guard’s grasp.
GUARD 2
(into radio)
Backup! We need backup in the Atlantis room!
Brickhouse hits the first guard with his own nightstick sending him flying into the DISPLAY CASE. The Plexiglas of the case cracks and the guard falls limply to the floor.
With the first guard taken care of, Brickhouse turns his attention to the second guard.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m a nice guy. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.
(looks at Guard 1 on the floor)
Well, anyone else. Why don’t you just step aside and let me go about my business?
Brickhouse turns and punches the already cracked display case, shattering it. He reaches into the case and retrieves an ornate STAFF.
Grateful for the distraction, Guard 2 drops his nightstick to the floor and starts to run. As he runs, Brickhouse leaps through the air to land in front of him, grabs him by the throat, lifts him and holds him with his feet dangling above the floor.
BRICKHOUSE
Sorry, changed my mind. This is just too much fun.
EMMA
Enough, Brickhouse!
Brickhouse turns to see EMMA TATE. Slightly built and unassuming, she looks like she could work at your favorite coffee shop or the local library. Only her eyes give a hint of the hardness underneath.
BRICKHOUSE
(throwing Guard 2 to the side like a ragdoll)
Hello, Tate. Come to join the fun?
Without waiting for a response, Brickhouse LEAPS across the room toward Emma, bringing the staff down in a powerful arc.
Emma dances backward, out of his path, as the staff smashes into the tile floor.
Brickhouse brings the staff around and connects with Emma’s legs, and she falls back.
As she hits the ground, Emma ROLLS, narrowly avoiding another blow from the staff.
Emma kicks, striking Brickhouse in the elbow and sending the staff flying from his hands.
Both scramble to their feet. Brickhouse swings his fist with amazing force. Emma dodges. His fist hits the wall, spraying them both with concrete shrapnel. He punches again. Emma reaches up and catches his fist. She stops it cold.
EMMA
Tsk. Tsk. You know how this works, Brickhouse. Anything you can do, I can do better.
She twists his arm to throw him to the ground.
Brickhouse lands with an earth-shaking thud, but gets up almost immediately. He ROARS, charging at Emma.
Emma stands her ground. Ducks. Falls to the ground. Kicks her feet up right as Brickhouse reaches her.
Her kick and his momentum send Brickhouse sailing across the room and crashing into a STATUE.
SIRENS sound in the background as police approach the scene.
EMMA
It’s a good thing that when I become as strong as you, I don’t have to be as stupid.
BRICKHOUSE
(Getting up)
You’re still weak. You never go on the attack. You never press an advantage.
Brickhouse grabs the statue and hurls it at one of the unconscious guards, catching Emma by surprise.
Emma runs. Jumps to intercept the statue and keep it from crushing the guard. The statue slams into her, throwing her into the wall.
A bloodied Emma gets up and looks around. The staff lies on the floor, abandoned, but there’s no sign of Brickhouse.
She takes a step and stumbles, too weak to give chase.
POLICE pour into the room, looking at the destruction.
EMMA
Nice of you to show up.
(Falls to the floor)
I definitely like it better when these bad guys are quick healers.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:28 pm
INT. ABANDONED BASEMENT – NIGHT
Muted panes of light pour across the room from small windows along the ceiling. Dust hangs in the air.
REMY
Just give me the staff, Brick.
BRICKHOUSE
It doesn’t work.
Brickhouse turns and rises revealing large burn marks across his chest. He clenches the red hot staff in his hand--he’s broken the staff in two. His skin sizzles, but he doesn’t react.
REMY
I only want the staff. That’s all.
Brickhouse tosses the head of the staff to Remy who catches it until he senses the pain in his hand--he drops it immediately. Brickhouse laughs.
BRICKHOUSE
Pathetic.
Remy scoops the staff up in his satchel.
REMY
It’s over. They’re all waiting outside.
BRICKHOUSE
Over? This is just the beginning. The world will know how I was lied to!
REMY
Did you hear me? They have an entire army just outside. If you walk out with me--
Brickhouse starts to laugh. His cackle grows demonic.
BRICKHOUSE
Walk out? I think not.
Brickhouse crouches down and suddenly flies through the ceiling. Remy stares through the hole.
REMY
Holy shit.
EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Brickhouse comes bursting through a wall only to be greeted by the exact opposite of what Remy promised: TUGG waits outside the door.
Brickhouse starts towards Tugg, but Tugg quickly reveals a revolver.
BRICKHOUSE
He told me there would be an army.
TUGG
Just one man. That’s all that’s necessary.
They square off. Brickhouse feints one way then rushes around the building. Tugg fires a round into the building.
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Glass rains down on Remy as he runs towards the door.
EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Tugg inches towards the corner of the building.
BRICKHOUSE (O.S.)
That’s a loud gun.
He comes crashing through the side of the building towards Tugg and barely misses.
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Remy watches as suddenly and entire corner of the building busts open.
REMY
Tugg! You still out there.
EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Tugg rises and gathers his senses.
TUGG
I’m still here! I could use your help.
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Remy scans the windows looking for Brickhouse.
REMY
I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything!
Just then Brickhouse flies through a window towards Remy. But Tugg is quick on his heals. He fires two shot barely missing both Brickhouse and Remy.
REMY
Wait! Stop!
Brickhouse scrambles off. Tugg helps Remy up.
TUGG
Maybe we should stick together.
The pace through the building backs against each other. With each noise of the old building they react.
Tugg notices a shadow through the window. He motions for Remy to see. He aims then FIRES! Glass falls to the floor. Tugg goes to the window to investigate.
Brickhouse crashes through another window and charges Remy. Remy is frozen.
But Tugg rushes into Brickhouse sending the two of them flying through the hole Brickhouse created in the floor.
INT. ABANDONED BASEMENT – NIGHT
Tugg lands hard on his back. His head smacks against the cold concrete. In a daze he searches for his gun. A FOOT crushes his hand.
TUGG
AH!
He screams in pain. But with a swift kick to the head, Brickhouse silences Tugg.
INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Remy crawls towards the hole in the floor only to find Tugg in a pool of blood.
REMY
NO! Tugg! Just stay with me.
Remy lowers himself down the hole. He approaches Tugg. Tugg is almost lifeless, but seems to be muttering something.
TUGG
It’ll work. It’ll work just fine.
REMY
What? What will work?
Something pulls sharply on his shirt sending him flying across the room. Remy smacks into a wall; the only thing that could stop him. He hears footsteps charging him, but dodges them before they arrive.
He hides in a dark corner watching Brickhouse search the basement.
BRICKHOUSE
Come out, little pig.
Remy suddenly notices his satchel by Tugg. And poking through it is the head of the staff.
Remy watches Brickhouse. Waiting for the right moment. He takes it, but Brickhouse notices him immediately.
The two race towards Tugg.
Remy avoids debris; Brickhouse crashes through it.
Remy is upon his satchel when Brickhouse grabs him. The two remain frozen for a second. Locked in an epic struggle.
Then, against Remy’s sneakers, a drop of blood falls.
Remy steps back and sees the pointed edge of the staff impaled through Brickhouse’s heart.
Brickhouse quivers.
BRICKHOUSE
But how. It was a lie. It didn’t make me stronger.
REMY
No. But it was strong enough for one job.
Brickhouse collapses at Remy’s feet. Remy has no time to enjoy it--he rushes to Tugg’s side.
REMY
C’mon, buddy. I need you.
Sirens approach in the distance.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:30 pm
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
An alarm BLARES. Visitors scramble. BRICKHOUSE, a giant of a man, shrouded in a black trench coat, stands facing a smashed exhibit.
WOMAN (V.O.)
You’re a superhero?
The alarm CUTS OFF. Brickhouse, wielding an elaborate ancient staff, turns to face the panic stricken museum visitors.
MAN (V.O.)
Guilty.
INT. OLD FASHIONED DINER – CONTINUOUS
We meet the MAN and WOMAN, both attractive 20-somethings, eating in a corner booth--
WOMAN
And I’m supposed to believe that?
MAN
It’d be a pretty audacious thing to lie about.
WOMAN
Yeah, but men will lie about anything to get a woman’s attention.
MAN
Good news. I don’t need to do that.
WOMAN
Because you’re a superhero?
MAN
Because I’m a superhero.
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse walks through a now empty museum, the THUD of his boots the only noise that reverberates in the massive halls.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Well, what’s your name?
MAN (V.O.)
Mark.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Mark?
INT. OLD FASHIONED DINER – CONTINUOUS
MARK
Yeah, I’ve never been a fan of those superhero names. Batman, Superman, Spiderman, I don’t want to be a Somethingman, so I’m just Mark.
WOMAN
Alright, Mark. What’s your power?
MARK
A little of this, a little of that.
WOMAN
(chuckles)
I’m not sure I believe you, Mark. Something tells me Batman wouldn’t be in a diner hitting on women.
MARK
Of course not, he’s got the suit and the mystique, they just flock to him. We call them BatWhores.
WOMAN
Clever.
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse can see the entrance now, and there’s a fire in his eyes--
MARK (V.O.)
So, there was this staff.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Hmm?
MARK (V.O.)
I’m going to prove I’m a superhero.
WOMAN (V.O.)
About time.
INT. OLD FASHIONED DINER – CONTINUOUS
MARK
It’s the ancient staff of the... of the... something or other.
WOMAN
Good start.
MARK
Now, in the wrong hands, it can do very, very bad things. Mystical power, and all that.
WOMAN
Of course.
MARK
Now, if you could be so kind as to peer down the block.
The Woman looks out the window, where we now have a clear view of the museum. Cop cars begin stacking up in front of the building, waiting for Brickhouse to make his exit.
WOMAN
What’s going on?
MARK
Patience.
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse BURSTS THROUGH the front doors of the museum. He stands at the top of the steps overlooking what seems like half of the police force. He sheds his trench coat and adopts a sinister grin.
INT. OLD FASHIONED DINER – CONTINUOUS
WOMAN
Oh my.
MARK
Really? He wears a t-shirt and jeans under the trench coat? Seems a little under dressed for the occasion.
WOMAN
Aren’t you going to do something, superhero?
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
MARK (V.O.)
The staff was used as a defensive weapon against invading tribes. In the right hands, it can cause extremely precise, and devastating earthquakes.
As if taking a cue from Mark, Brickhouse SLAMS the end of staff in to the concrete steps.
INT. OLD FASHIONED DINER – CONTINUOUS
Everything in the Diner RUMBLES for a beat.
WOMAN
Well! Do something!
MARK
Relax, it takes three times to--
Another RUMBLE.
WOMAN
That’s two!
MARK
What? You don’t trust me yet?
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse knows it’s only going to take one more to get the result he wants. He raises the staff high in the air and SLAMS it down with all his might.
Instead of the earthquake he expected, it begins SHOCKING Brickhouse. He can’t remove his hand from the staff because of the increasingly high amounts of electrical current running through it.
He throws his head back and SCREAMS in agony. A bright blue light spills out of his mouth and eye sockets. Then, it starts to rip through his flesh--
INT. OLD FASHIONED DINER – CONTINUOUS
They stare out the window, bathed slightly in that blue light. The Woman’s mouth is agape in horror, Mark pops another french fry in his.
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
The painful destruction comes to an end as an intense blue light FLASHES out of Brickhouse. The only thing left in the aftermath, is a pile of ashes and the staff firmly stuck in the concrete steps.
INT. OLD FASHIONED DINER – CONTINUOUS
A beat as the Woman gathers her wits.
WOMAN
You did that?
(Mark nods)
How did you know he would...?
Mark points at himself--
MARK
Superhero.
WOMAN
You’re unlike any superhero I’ve ever heard of.
MARK
You mean I tend to not destroy half the city when I defeat villains?
WOMAN
That is nice, saving the tax payers money.
Mark gets up from the booth and whips out his wallet--
MARK
Well, I’m a nice guy. Now, I have to go talk to the cops, but lunch is on me.
WOMAN
You don’t have to buy me lunch.
MARK
Exactly. Now I’ll pick you up Friday, around eight?
WOMAN
Oh you will?
MARK
Come on, I’m handsome, witty, charming, and I just saved the world. I’m irresistible.
She fights smiling--
WOMAN
I guess I could suffer through a date with you.
MARK
Funny. I like that.
Mark begins making his way out of the diner--
WOMAN
Wait! Don’t you want my phone number, or at least my name?
Mark stops with the door half open--
MARK
(grins)
Melissa Harrison, 555-1932.
She’s speechless, confused and a little worried as he makes his exit.
She turns back to the table and notices one of her business cards is laying on her empty plate. She picks it up and flips it over, on the back there’s a handwritten note--
“Don’t worry, I can’t read minds.”
She beams.
EXT. SIDEWALK – CONTINUOUS
Mark strolls down the sidewalk towards the police. He runs his hand over a set of newspaper dispensers, tiny sparks of electricity pulsate between him and their metal shells.
BLACK.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
Only the smolder of red security lights glance off the edges of the Egyptian exhibit relics. In the center of the silent room towers and gnarled wooden staff encased in a clear ballistics proof prism.
Near the entrance of the room, a Herculean masked figure slides over and around sarcophaguses and tombs like a hulking demon. This beast clad in black is BRICKHOUSE.
He squats in front of the encased antiquated staff and runs his hands down to the bolts locking the prism into the cement floor. Each bolt on the ballistic glass is laser tripped -- any shift of those bolts in the glass would wirelessly trip the alarm.
Brickhouse stands and brings his fists to his hips to think.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
On the rooftop, a tall MAN in a hooded sweatshirt kicks open the maintenance door.
EGYPTIAN EXHIBIT
Brickhouse leaps to the shadows and surveys for the source of the noise.
INCAN EXHIBIT
A curious SECURITY OFFICER also scans for the source of the noise. He raises his flashlight and exits.
MAINTANENCE LEVEL
Over the catwalks, the hooded man rushes onward and pulls a sawed off shotgun out of his back pack.
EGYPTIAN EXHIBIT
Brickhouse quickly scans over the bolts in the cement under the staff. He shakes out his muscles and squats around the casing and grasps the sides. The metal creaks and groans underneath Brickhouse’s grasp.
The doors to the Egyptian exhibit swing open.
A flashlight beam swings onto Brickhouse’s masked face.
SECURITY OFFICER
Hey!
Brickhouse yanks the protective casing out of the floor, over the staff, and launches it into the security officer knocking him off the balcony behind him.
Quickly, Brickhouse turns around and, BOOM, buckshot sprays into his shoulder and chest slamming him into the floor.
The hooded man cracks open the barrel of the shotgun ejecting its shells onto the sandstone floor. He pulls two more shells from his belt.
Groaning, Brickhouse finds his feet and staggers toward his adversary.
BRICKHOUSE
Virgil? I thought I lost you in Sweden.
VIRGIL loads two shells into their chambers.
VIRGIL
Don’t move, Brickhouse! ‘Else it’ll be two more right in yer chest.
Brickhouse laughs and waves him off with his left hand while reaching behind his back with his right.
Virgil snaps his barrel closed.
Brickhouse flings a Ka-Bar at Virgil.
The knife crashes into the barrel of the shotgun and pulls it out of Virgil’s grip.
Brickhouse throws himself onto Virgil and clutches his neck.
Virgil’s arms pummel Brickhouse’s ribs. But, without much effort, Brickhouse pins Virgil’s arms to the floor with his knees.
Virgil struggles for air. His fingers twitch.
Brickhouse beats his face with a club like fist.
Virgil reaches for a small knife strapped to his leg while Brickhouse continues his relentless assault. Oxygen crawls out of Virgil’s system.
His stupid fingers find the hilt of his knife and flash it from his sheath into Brickhouse’s ribs.
The behemoth screams in pain. Virgil kicks free and gasps for a breath of life.
Brickhouse carefully pulls the knife from his side. Blood seeps down his black tank top.
Virgil stumbles around the exhibit and steadies himself on a faux pillar.
Brickhouse flips the knife into attack position and lumbers toward Virgil.
Virgil slumps against the wall next to a glass case housing ancient pottery.
Brickhouse accelerates his gait. Virgil moves in front of the glass. Brickhouse pulls the knife back. Virgil defensively extends his arms.
Brickhouse lunges toward Virgil and thrusts out his knife just as Virgil drops to the floor and the glass encasement catches Brickhouse’s arm. Alarms immediately ring out and strobes flash throughout the room.
Virgil pulls off Brickhouse’s mask and reveals his pale, smashed and scarred face. Brickhouse swings his I-beam of an arm into Virgil’s stomach sending him flying across the room.
Brickhouse slides his mask back on and grabs the staff from the center of the room. With his loot, Brickhouse flees the scene of the crime.
ROOFTOP
Brickhouse jogs the roof top as squad cars screech out in front of the museum. He steps away from the edge and runs to the back end of the roof top. Like a panther, he leaps to the level below, and again onto the back of the lot.
EGYPTIAN EXHIBIT
Virgil hobbles to his feet and stumbles to the back of the room.
MUSEUM ENTRANCE
The police scour the main hall, their boots stampeding up the main stairs.
MAINTANENCE LEVEL
Virgil jogs across the catwalks.
MUSEUM ENTRANCE
A few police crouch around the security officer lying face up at the landing on the stairs while the others proceed into other exhibits.
ROOFTOP
Virgil climbs down the ladders leading to the back of the museum property.
INT. YACHT CABIN -- NIGHT
Brickhouse sits on his bed while a MIDDLE EASTERN WOMAN extracts the buck shot from his shoulder.
BRICKHOUSE
He’s going to meet us in Denmark?
The woman nods.
BRICKHOUSE
Good.
EXT. HARBOR -- NIGHT
The quiet, modest harbor is enclosed by an iron fence. Virgil hops it and watches the only yacht pull out. He puts his hands on his knees, exhausted. The Yacht turns its back to him.
Virgil squints and reads the ship’s name: Deity II
He pulls out his phone and dials.
VIRGIL
Hey Miss Wisdom, you follow a sixty footer goin’ by the name a Deity II for me?
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
EXT. A RUSTIC BRICK HOUSE -- DAY
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. A stern fist wraps on the front door. The fist belongs to COP 1, 30.
COP 1
Police! Open up!
Two other COPS, 20s, stand back. They look bored.
PROFESSOR FATIMA, 27, carries a thick leather bound text book and wears even thicker glasses. Beauty masked by insecure nerdiness.
She gesticulates excitedly and shouts in EGYPTIAN, pointing at a page in the book.
COP 2
Learn English!
Fatima points at the Brick House, points at the page. Drops her book clumsily.
The Cops are clearly annoyed. They roll their eyes, fiddle with their night sticks.
COP 2
This is some kind of ancient Middle Eastern style of reverse doorbell ditching, Sarge.
COP 1
Shut up, kid.
(to Fatima)
I admit this situation is weird. But if somebody stole your ancient staff, it ain’t in there. Sorry, Professor. I’ll put in a call to the city planning commission. Maybe they’ll come out and see about having the house moved.
The Cops turn to leave.
COP 1 mumbles something about the planning commission into his shoulder-radio.
Fatima shouts and waves frantically. Drops her book again.
CREEEEAAAAK... The front door opens.
Fatima goes silent. Gripped with fear.
The Cops halt. Turn around. Cop 1 lets go of his radio and addresses the door.
COP 1
Hello?
The Cops inch toward the open door. It’s pitch black inside.
COP 1
Wait out here.
Cop 1 draws his pistol and slowly wades into the darkness.
The other Cops hold their ground.
Fatima slowly backs away, shaking her head, “No...”
SLAM! The door closes under its own will.
COP 2
Sarge!
The Cops RUSH up to it. POUND on it. Won’t budge.
Deep, terrifying LAUGHTER shakes their very bones.
We pull back and see that this Brick House resides not in some bucolic paradise, but right in front of
THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES.
The Brick House’s front door leads right into a huge reflecting pool. The back of the Brick House rests against grand marble steps which lead up to the Museum entrance.
The LAUGHTER grows. Brick House RUMBLES like an earthquake site.
The Cops back off as
BRICK HOUSE comes apart under its own magic. The bricks fall upward, against gravity. The building takes a gigantic HUMAN FORM -- a terrifying, masonry Transformer.
The Cops SCREAM and turn to flee.
But BRICK HOUSE scoops them up. Tosses them against a giant obelisk at the far end of the reflecting pool. They lie dead.
Fatima is frozen with fear.
Brick House takes one THUMPING step toward her. Stops.
GRUNTS and GRAONS, the sounds of a constipated behemoth.
The front door, which is now Brick House’s ass, opens.
It SHOOTS out a pile of bones, formerly Cop 1.
Brick House sighs with relief.
An aftershock: Brick House craps out Cop 1’s pistol.
More ROARING LAUGHTER.
Brick House continues toward Fatima.
Fatima opens her book, flips through until she finds the right page.
She calls out in some ANCIENT TONGUE. Book in one hand, the other hand waving like a sorcerer’s.
A pale aura grows around Brick House. The monster inspects his own glowing arm.
The ANCIENT TONGUE grows more dramatic, more forceful. Fatima breaks free of her nerdy self-consciousness for a moment, a glimpse of her heroic potential...
Brick House WHIMPERS like a scared animal.
Until finally!
Brick House grows EVEN LARGER, more powerful, more ominous.
Apparently Fatima knows one word in English --
FATIMA
Shit.
She leafs through the pages again, looking for the right spell.
But Brick House is right on top of her. Grabs her. Holds her like a prized statuette.
VOICE (O.S.)
Let her go, you brownstone nightmare!
Brick House freezes and turns to see--
The BUREAUCRAT, 29. Sharply dressed, strong physique, a clipboard in one hand and a wallet held aloft in the other. And in the wallet--
A BADGE that reads PLANNING COMMISSION.
BUREAUCRAT
I declare you...
He holds up the clipboard which reads:
BUREAUCRAT
Condemned.
Bureaucrat jumps into an awaiting mobile crane, equipped with a huge wrecking ball.
Brick House stands at one end of the reflecting pool.
Bureaucrat REVS the crane’s engine at the other end.
Brick House perches Fatima on his neck. Too high up for her to jump to safety.
The Museum Clock Tower STRIKES TWELVE -- high noon.
They CHARGE.
Brick House STOMPS along, a hulking mass splashing in the reflective pool.
Bureaucrat SPEEDS forward, a seemingly unstoppable government inevitability.
Brick fists rise.
The wrecking ball swings to the side to gain momentum.
Brick House COUGHS. The STAFF OF PI shoots out of his mouth. He snatches it out of the air.
The wrecking ball SWOOPS toward Brick House’s body.
Brick House holds the Staff aloft and
SHOOMP! The wrecking ball freezes in mid air.
BUREAUCRAT
What the--
With a wave of the Staff, the wrecking ball FLIES toward Bureaucrat who
DIVES out of the crane just before the ball SMASHES the cab.
Bureaucrat lies by the pool, stunned.
Brick House lifts the Staff again. The wrecking ball obeys his command and SWINGS back, preparing to smash Bureaucrat.
But the Staff wobbles as the water in the pool soaks Brick House’s mortar. His entire body shivers and shakes. He bends down low enough that
Fatima jumps to safety. She grabs Bureaucrat, helps him up. They hurry away.
Behind them, Brick House regains his balance. But they’re safe. For now.
BUREAUCRAT
What the hell was that thing?
Fatima ignores him.
So that’s my ridiculous entry.
I love the idea of a Bureaucrat who is actually a heroic figure. And a love story between two people where one of them doesn’t speak English, so they need a translator, which complicates things in a fun way. Oh, and a Transformer made of bricks. Because the Transformers movies are lame, so why not steal the idea and make it fun.
I really enjoyed writing it, and even have some ideas on how to develop it further. (the Staff of Pi only controls circular objects, so Bureaucrat and Fatima must retrieve it’s counterpart: a medallion which controls rectangular objects, thus allowing them to destroy Brick House; then they realize that it’s not a medallion that they seek, but deeper truths within themselves!)
But I probably won’t, because it’s so silly.
Thanks for the fun exercise, John.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
KEVIN (a lanky, bed-headed 20-year-old) bursts out the front door and quickly scans up and down the street.
Down one way, he catches sight of BRICKHOUSE (40s) throwing his long tool box into the front seat of a large white van. In addition to being inordinately tall, Brickhouse has a huge gut distends like a beach ball and his square mug resembles a bull dog’s.
Kevin races for the van with all his might, achieving the speed of an Olympian sprinter--maybe even slightly faster. The pedestrians he passes notice this with some amazement.
Brickhouse, having climbed halfway into his seat, sees Kevin coming and quickly slams his door shut, revs on the engine.
The tires SQUEAL, but before they can gain enough traction, Kevin takes a desperate flying leap onto the back of the truck, landing on the bumper and taking a grip on the handle.
INT. VAN
Brickhouse looks over his shoulder at the back of the van, having felt the bounce from Kevin’s landing. He angrily PLOWS the van forward.
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
Cars swerve out of the van’s way and SLAM into each other.
The van steadily crawls up to 60 mph, swerving around traffic. Kevin looks down at the speeding ground below and clutches the handle even tighter.
KEVIN
(to himself, terrified) What the fuck? What the fuck am I doing??
He takes a deep breath and looks around his perch, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Finally, he puts his hands up on the roof and hoists himself up. He elbow-crawls to the front, then sits back up, raises a foot, and sends his heel down in a mighty blow to the windshield.
INT. VAN
The windshield SHATTERS, the heel of Kevin’s sneaker wedged right into it two inches from Brickhouse’s nose. Brickhouse jerks back.
BRICKHOUSE
WHOA!!
Kevin’s foot tries to wriggle free until Brickhouse grabs Kevin’s ankle and yanks.
EXT. VAN
Kevin’s entire front SLAMS against the hood as he’s pulled waist-deep into the van.
KEVIN
AWF!
Brickhouse grabs a hold of Kevin to throw him off the hood, but one of Kevin’s legs SLAMS into the side of Brickhouse’s head.
Brickhouse reels a bit, which seems to confuse him, as though he’s never experienced that sensation before from a mere kick to the head.
BRICKHOUSE
You little fucker!!
He grabs Kevin’s leg with both hands, his knee manning the wheel, and starts to bend it backwards at the knee with his bare hands. Kevin SCREAMS...
..until he manages to skid his other foot across the top of the steering wheel, sending the van into a sudden curve, making two wheels lift off the ground...
BRICKHOUSE
Oh, shit!!
He grabs the steering wheel and swerves it back to aright the van, but it’s way too late.
As the van teeters over, Kevin jumps to the street in an awkward dive roll.
The van SLAMS onto its side, SKIDS across the street and SMASHES into a glass storefront.
Kevin stands, looks at the stopped van, and smiles.
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Sorry, thought I had the formatting figured out:
INT. CITY MUSEUM – NIGHT
The museum is closed and only a few lights are left on for the security guard, FRANK. He cruises the floor with a flashlight and pop music BLARING out of his headphones.
FRANK
Come on Charlie, you think I do this for fun?
The other security guard, CHARLIE, is late for the handover. Charlie is a surfer with bleached blonde hair. He is in his 40s.
CHARLIE
These night shifts are killing me, man.
FRANK
Man you’re killing me, man.
Frank tosses Charlie a set of keys.
INT. CITY MUSEUM – LATER NIGHT
It is dead quiet. Charlie lights up a hand-rolled cigarette, probably a joint. He smokes, strolling through the Ancient Eygpt exhibit.
He shines his flashlight on a ghoulish looking mummified corpse.
CHARLIE
Look at you boy, you aint got no brains.
Charlie continues past an ANCIENT STAFF made of solid gold.
Now Charlie is in the atrium.The moon shines down from a giant glass ceiling. He is at the end of his joint. It burns his fingers and he drops it.
He reacts, quickly stamping it out.
CHARLIE
Oh shit...
Black ash footprints are smeared all over the polished marble floor.
Charlie wheels the janitor’s trolley over to the mess. He sprays some pink fluid and gets down on his knees to scrub at it with a cloth. This has only made it worse, spreading the black muck out further.
CHARLIE
Shit!
Charlie is getting frantic. He rummages through the trolley for the right utensil. He picks out a bottle of green stuff. He sniffs it; it smells like the one. He is relieved...
Suddenly, the glass ceiling SMASHES open, and a giant red beast, CRASHES down in a rain of glass. The marble floor SPLITS with his impact.
CHARLIE
WOAAAAAAAAAA!
The beast picks himself up and turns to Charlie. He is twice his size and from some other world. This is BRICKHOUSE. Charlie looks at the shattered glass, the cracked floor and up in awe of this monster.
CHARLIE
That... was AWESOME!
But he doesn’t comprehend what trouble he is in.
Brickhouse conjures up a ball of energy and shoots it at him. It connects, sending him flying 30-feet. He hits the ground and slides another 20-feet till he hits the wall. Brickhouse makes for the Egypt exhibit.
Charlie is lying on the floor, motionless, possibly dead. After a moment, he picks himself up. His nose is bleeding. He calls for backup on his radio.
CHARLIE
We got a situation here Frank! ...Frank?!
The radio is smashed up, broken. It’s no use.
CHARLIE
Dammit
Charlie slowly manages to stand up. He draws his pistol and follows in the footsteps of the beast.
Brickhouse is looking for something. He has found it in the Egypt exhibit. It’s the ancient staff. He SMASHES the cabinet open and grabs it.
Charlie sneaks up on him, pistol drawn. He has got him!
CHARLIE
Freeze motherfucker!
Brickhouse is not bothered. He conjures up another ball of energy and shoots it down the hall. Charlie takes cover in a recess. He musters up his courage and jumps out, unloading his pistol.
His aim is terrible. He shoots up the entire exhibit; pottery explodes, thousand-year-old papyrus scrolls fly off the walls, and even the mummified corpse is ruined in the frenzy.
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK; He is out of bullets. It’s quiet again. Too quiet. It dawns on him that Brickhouse has escaped. The ancient staff is missing.
CHARLIE
You’ve really done it now, Charlie.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:35 pm
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
The grand hall is dark. No lights in the building, but streetlights through the windows cast long shadows on the display cases scattered throughout the room. In the cases we see treasures. Shiny things. Valuable things. Things worth protecting in glass cases.
And then we hear BREATHING. Slow and heavy. FOOTSTEPS. Also slow and heavy. Brief silence and then . . . a CRASH!
A display case, wooden base, valuables and all, flies across our line of sight faster than seems possible and EXPLODES against the wall.
Now we see BRICKHOUSE. He’s 8 feet of no fun. Think pro-wrestler on steroids. Tank with legs. It’s all muscle all the time with this dude.
He stands next to a JAGGED HOLE where a display used to be. Moves on to the next one. Looks inside like he’s searching for something. Apparently it’s not in this case either.
He gives it the same rip-and-smash treatment as the first.
He’s taking his time. Not being quiet about it either. There’s no one here to stop him.
Or is there? Behind Brickhouse’s right shoulder, we see a lithe SILHOUETTE slink out of a ceiling vent. It drops lightly to the ground 20 feet below and finds cover behind a long display case.
Brickhouse doesn’t notice. In the streetlight we see her face: JESSICA.
A second vent opens, this one in the wall. A SHADOWY FIGURE exits, bigger than the first but much less coordinated.
It attempts to rappel down the wall. Trips over the cable. Tumbles the final 10 feet. This is JASON.
JASON
Dammit!
Jessica glares. Brickhouse doesn’t notice. He’s too busy smashing things.
Jessica beckons to Jason.
Jason looks at Brickhouse’s enormous back, looks at Jessica, and waves her to his position.
Jessica calmly pulls a gun and points it at Jason. This is how she asks nicely. Jason nods and scampers over, using displays for cover.
JESSICA
What the hell are you doing here?
JASON
Don’t worry. I have a plan.
JESSICA
What?! No. You’re “new guy”. “New guy” doesn’t get to make plans. “New guy” gets to stand in the background, keep his mouth shut, and not get the rest of us killed.
On the other side of the museum, Brickhouse laughs triumphantly. Glass shatters, and his hand pulls free of a case with a three foot long GOLDEN STAFF. Jason and Jessica watch with grim expressions.
JASON
Can “new guy” get himself killed?
JESSICA
I can’t say I would mind.
JASON
Great. Then we’re agreed.
JESSICA
Wait, what? Jackass!
Jason stands up. If Brickhouse turns around, he is fully exposed.
JASON
Excuse me! Mr. House!
Brickhouse turns, staff in hand. He growls. Jason walks casually toward him.
JASON(cont’d)
Hi. I don’t know if you remember me. That night at the cathedral? I was the one with the electrified trip wires? Man, the look on your face.
He mock laughs. Brickhouse says nothing, but his eye twitches.
JASON(cont’d)
Anyhoo, just wanted to make sure you knew that if you don’t like any of the exhibits, the museum does have comment cards. I’m afraid if we can’t resolve this with words, I’ll have to call one of the security guards. And believe me, Carl may be 70, but he is wicked with that flashlight and whistle.
Jessica stands up, cautious but confident.
JESSICA
Jason...
JASON
So what do you say? Hand over the staff and we can all go get ice cream. Sound good?
Jason is feet from Brickhouse. He reaches for the staff with his right hand. With his left thumb, he flicks a SMALL BLACK CUBE at Brickhouse’s face.
JESSICA
Jason, no!
JASON
Don’t worry. It’s just a--
Brickhouse ROARS at the sudden movement of the small black cube. A FLASH from the staff. A BANG. Jason flies 30 feet through the air and hits the back wall.
The PLASTER crumbles with him to the floor several feet below. Brickhouse is still shouting, but he’s not charging. We see that the black cube expanded into a black mask, and it’s gripping his face tight. He can’t see.
But that doesn’t mean he can’t fight. Brickhouse stomps blindly through the grand hall. Claws at the mask. A stream of GOLDEN BLASTS from the staff obliterate anything they touch. The museum is a one man war zone.
Jessica pulls a dazed Jason back behind cover. They are temporarily out of danger, but still duck and shout over the clamor.
JASON
So...what’s your plan?
JESSICA
What the hell was that? First you distracted me so he got the staff. Then you antagonized him. So now, I don’t just have to fight a moron. I have to fight a pissed-off, half blind, fully immortal moron.
JASON
You’re welcome for the half-blind bit. I had a plan.
JESSICA
That’s nice. Is it going like you expected?
JASON
I don’t understand. I switched the staff earlier today.
JESSICA
What? What did you switch it with?
JASON
I was in Casper’s room...looking around. And I noticed this staff in his footlocker. It looked just like the one in our briefing. I thought it would make a good decoy.
JESSICA
What?! You--
Jessica’s expletives are muffled as a well placed blast sends ANTIQUITIES and WOODEN PANELING raining down over them. The walls are shaking.
JASON
Wow. I never heard that middle one before.
JESSICA
Did it ever occur to you there might be a reason the staff is called part of the “Twin Staffs of Immortality”?
JASON
Poor branding?
JESSICA
There’s two of them! Guess who was protecting the other one!
The air shimmers, and with a whiff of ozone, PRISM appears. He is nearly invisible, like water vapor. His outline only appears when the streetlights hit him just right.
JASON
Hey, it’s Casper.
PRISM
My name is Prism. Jessica, we are unable to find the Staff of Power at headquarters. I am sorry, but without it, we cannot hope to fight the Staff of Repulsion. Nothing else is strong enough.
A blast of GOLDEN ENERGY passes through Prism. It has no effect. For a being made of light, Prism appears perturbed, but his voice remains steady and monotone.
PRISM(cont’d)
That is not the Staff of Repulsion.
JESSICA
No.
PRISM
How has Brickhouse acquired the Staff of Power?
JESSICA
Ask gadget boy.
JASON
Now this is my fault?
JESSICA
Of course this is your fault! You took it out of Prism’s footlocker.
JASON
Keyword being footlocker! You know what most people keep in footlockers? Magazines. Family photos. Dream journals. Not ancient staffs of unimaginable destructive power. Excuse me for not knowing superheroes do things differently.
PRISM
Where is the Staff of Repulsion? Did you keep it?
Jason reaches into a sheath on his back. Removes a GOLDEN STAFF.
JASON
Can we fight Brickhouse with this?
PRISM
You may try. The Staff of Repulsion is less powerful than the Staff of Power.
JASON
Yeah that makes sense. I’m guessing it’s also more repulsive. But could it work?
PRISM
It is the only thing that has a chance.
JESSICA
But we need a plan.
JASON
You know, I’m not feeling too good about plans right now.
JESSICA
No!
Wielding the staff, Jason jumps from behind cover. Brickhouse has managed to rip off the BLACK GOO covering one of his eyes. With his one good eye he glares at Jason, aims, and fires.
JASON
Okay, maybe a little plan would have been good.
He barely dodges the first blast. And the second. And the third.
The volley continues, and Jason comes closer to being hit with each shot.
Jessica jumps into the fray to draw some of the fire. With her superior agility, she circles Brickhouse, closes in, and delivers a devastating roundhouse kick to his temple.
He doesn’t even flinch. Just swipes her away with a backhand to her chest.
Jessica recovers from the blow midair, and lands on her feet, but she is dazed. Clearly hand to hand combat is not an option.
She and Jason continue circling Brickhouse from a distance. Prism hovers in the corner, observing.
JASON(cont’d)
Oh, Prism? Little assistance with the magic stick? Do I clap on clap off? Abracadabra? Help here!
PRISM
Imagine what you wish to repulse. The staff will repulse it.
Jason squints in concentration as he dodges another blast. Suddenly, a clear, concussive force emanates from his staff. It shatters a STATUE.
JASON
Sorry! Sorry. It’s okay, the museum gets plenty of donations to cover this sort of thing.
A second blast Jason’s staff blows apart a WOODEN BOX labeled “Donations”. Pennies rain down on the combatants.
JESSICA
Jason!
JASON
Yep, got it now. Think about it, blow it up. Simple enough. Brickhouse!
Jason stands motionless now. Brickhouse turns toward him and grins wickedly.
He raises the Staff of Power.
Jason raises the Staff of Repulsion.
The very air explodes as the CLEAR CONCUSSIVE FORCE and GOLDEN BEAM meet. Brickhouse, Jason, and Jessica are thrown into the air.
As they fly, we see Jason’s hand. We see his fingers loosen their grip. We see them slip away from the staff. We see the Staff of Repulsion fly free to the ground below...
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
EXT. VAUDEVILLE THEATRE 1910 – NIGHT
A busy Vaudeville theatre, lights ablaze, dominates a city block on a busy weekend night. Well-dressed, respectable couples bustle in and out. On the street, horse-drawn hansoms jostle with newfangled motorcars.
In the alley behind the theatre, all is quiet.
Suddenly, the stage door bursts open.
A man bursts out the door. Tall. Scrawny. Early thirties. He wears a ridiculous checked coat and matching baggy trousers. As he runs, he’s attempting to pull the trousers back up.
This is JED JACKSON.
Directly behind him, SERGEANT MULDOON, a burly Irish cop with a handlebar mustache bursts out of the stage door and fires a shot in Jed’s direction.
Jed runs out of the alley and into the crowd of theatergoers, garnering disapproving stares.
Sergeant Muldoon, a few steps behind, gives a long blow on his whistle.SERGEANT MULDOON
Apprehend that malefactor!
A stout gentleman in his 50’s steps into Jed’s path.STOUT GENTLEMAN
Now see here, sir...
Jed pulls the man’s top hat down over his eyes.STOUT GENTLEMAN
Well, I never...JED
I didn’t know the lady was married.SERGEANT MULDOON (O.C.)
Apprehend him, I say...JED
I was just trying to help her remove her tonsils.
Jed runs a few steps and SMACK!
He’s stopped dead in his tracks by blow to the head from a lady’s parasol.
And another.
And another.
Jed backs into a garbage can as he fends off blow after blow from a gang of vicious Victorian vixens.
Jed grabs a banana peel from atop the garbage can.
Muldoon’s hand grips him on the shoulder.SERGEANT MULDOON
Well done, ladies. Right then, you’re coming with...
Muldoon goes ass over teakettle.
Jed runs down the street.
The ladies help Muldoon to his feet. He brushes off their assistance and takes off after Jed.
Jed runs.
Muldoon pursues.
Jed turns a corner, and there’s another cop walking the beat.
Jed starts guiltily, and runs the other way.
The second cop pursues.
Caught between two officers, Jed ducks down an alley.
It’s a dead end.
Jed tries a door.
Locked.
Down at the only exit to the alley, Jed can see the shadow of Sergeant Muldoon and the other officer.SERGEANT MULDOON
That’s the last time you’ll be enticing a man’s wife backstage, you silver-tongued rascal.
Jed sees a coal chute, he gives it a try, and it’s unlocked.
A shot rings out in the alley.
Jed dives.INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – CONTINUOUS
Jed slides in total darkness and lands painfully on a pile of coal.JED
Coal. I haven’t landed on anything that uncomfortable since Sophie Tucker’s dressing room.
Jed strikes a match. The room lights up for a second, and Jed can see that he’s in a boiler room.
From above, a SHOT.
Jed quickly blows out the match. The room goes black.SERGEANT MULDOON
I know you’re down there, homewrecker. Why don’t you give yourself up nice and easy, and I promise you won’t feel a thing.
Jed sees light coming from under a doorway. He makes his way toward it.
Jed tries the door, and it opens into a large exhibit hall. Colorful banners advertise wonders and marvels. Inventions sit idle in their displays, waiting to be fired up for tomorrow’s crowd.
Jed looks around, intrigued.
He stops in front of a funhouse mirror, which exaggerates the ridiculousness of his costume. Jed chuckles.
There’s the sound of glass shattering.
Jed looks to see a blue-clad arm has broken through a pane of glass on the front door and is now trying to work the knob from inside.
Looking around, Jed sees that the best hiding place is in the teepee shaped Native American exhibit. This being 1900, the exhibit is labelled “The Strange Ways Of The Red Man”.
Inside the teepee, Jed sees what you’d expect in a Native American exhibit. Tomahawks, drums... Jed walks past a large tapestry.
As he passes, the tapestry moves. It’s the outline of a huge man. Chameleon-like. Hidden in front of the art.
Jed doesn’t notice.
Jed’s looking at a display case holding an ornately carved wooden staff.
The odd thing about the display case is that it’s open. The other odd thing is that a tool bag lies on the floor next to it. Jed has clearly interrupted something.
Suddenly, a burly arm wraps around Jed’s neck and squeezes.
Jed gasps for breath.
Behind him, a huge man – his face contorted with rage – squeezes Jed’s neck tighter and tighter.
This gargantuan, ugly brute is BRICKHOUSE. He’s dressed in the time-period, but the clothes are too small. To say he’s a big man is to say that he’s more of a Lou Ferrigno sized Hulk rather than a CGI sized Hulk.
Jed’s life drains away as Brickhouse chokes.
Muldoon rushes in, revolver drawn.SERGEANT MULDOON
All right, you two-bit Casanova. You can’t hide for...
Muldoon sees Brickhouse and stops dead in his tracks.
Brickhouse throws Jed to the floor, and turns to advance on the sergeant.
Muldoon’s never seen a man that big in his life.SERGEANT MULDOON
Mary, Mother of God.
Brickhouse advance slowly on Muldoon.SERGEANT MULDOON
Stay where you are.
Brickhouse advances.SERGEANT MULDOON
I’m warning you.
Brickhouse advances.
Muldoon shoots, and the bullets hit Brickhouse with no effect.
With one mighty arm, Brickhouse sends Sergeant Muldoon flying. He lands hard on the marble floor of the exhibit hall, never to rise again.
Brickhouse turns back to advance on Jed.JED
I’ll just be going now.
Brickhouse advances.JED
Truly, I hate to disturb you. And you are busy.
Brickhouse advances.JED
Don’t make me resort to force.
Jed reaches for the nearest weapon he can find. The staff in the open case.
As soon as his hand touches the staff, Jed’s knocked aside by a mighty blow.
The world spins.
Close on Jed lying on the marble floor. His cheek against the cool stone.
Jed’s eyes attempt to focus.
He looks along the floor.
There’s a wire.
Jed’s eyes follow the wire.
It leads to a strange, talking box. A television.
Jed blinks his eyes to focus.INT. CONDO 2009 – MORNING
Jed’s lying on the same marble floor, but the building’s been turned into condos.
Jed’s in a modern, swanky condo.
Big screen TV.
Treadmill.
Computer.
Jed screams.
A WOMAN, clad only in a towel and drying her hair, enters from the bathroom.
She screams.
Jed screams.
She looks around frantically.WOMAN
Oh my god, where’s my cell?JED
At the prison?
She picks up a lamp and hurls it at him.
He runs for the door.EXT. CITY STREET 2009 – MOMENTS LATER
Jed, clad in his baggy pants, stands in the middle of a busy sidewalk as commuters rush past him without giving him a second look.
Everything is loud and strange.
Busses.
Traffic lights.
Airplanes.
Jed wanders aimlessly.
Confused.
He’s stopped in his tracks by a sight.
It’s a run-down movie theatre. The same building where he was just performing his Vaudeville act. Now decayed and gone to seed.
Jed looks at it, incredulous. The alley to the stage door is still there. Jed walks down the alley. Slowly. Tentatively.
As he passes, the brick wall moves. It’s the outline of a huge man. Chameleon-like. Hidden in front of the bricks.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:55 pm
INT. Museum Lobby – Night
BRICKHOUSE finishes ravaging the front lobby by throwing desks, statues, and marquees. Using his bio-mechanical suit, he picks up the final bones of a dinosaur laid to waste on the floor.
JIMMY EWEBAD
BOSS!!! I got it! I got it.
JIMMY EWEBAD, a scrawny blond in his late teens, sprints into the lobby with a six foot long gold staff raised over his head.
BRICKHOUSE
GOOOOOD. Now for ultimate destruction. People will fear the name Brickhouse once more.
JIMMY EWEBAD
Ya boss. Ya.
Jimmy pumps the staff up and down in the air as he approaches the twelve foot tall Brickhouse.
Just as he gets to Brickhouse, he trips over his crimson cape that dangles off of only one shoulder. He flips through the air landing straight on the staffs base.
The staff slams into the marble floor, shooting a shockwave of solar yelow light throughout the lobby’s radius.
BRICKHOUSE
AAAAHHHH! You nincompoop!
Brickhouse raises a hand to backhand Jimmy with a dino bone, but his attention diverts to the rattling on the floor. A statue reconstructs itself to the point that broken pieces hover inches away from where they slide together..
The FRACTURED INDIAN takes a chunk of its body and throws it at Brickhouse. Brickhouse catches it midair and hurls the piece back, shattering the Indian on impact.
Jimmy pics himself up using the staff to support his minimal weight. He sees Brickhouse deal with the Indian and sprints to the doors to avoid further battle.
Looking back to see what Brickhouse is doing, he nearly runs into the door. He turns in time to see that the wall of doors is blown away, leaving the museum open to the street outside.
BRICKHOUSE
Where are you going you snivvelling pathetic assistant?
EXT. OUTSIDE STREET – NIGHT
Jimmy runs down the single shallow flight of stone stairs only to be greated by Brickhouse who has lept over the stairs and landed in front of him at the bottom.
JIMMY EWEBAD
This is my turn to shine Brick. You get the glory evertime, so back off.
Jimmy points the staff at Brickhouse as if it is a weapon. The whine of the cops begins a slow crescendo.
BRICKHOUSE
I will deal with this later you pissy fool. Give me the staff.
Jimmy, remembering what happened in the lobby, slams the staff against the ground. Again, a solar yellow blast errupts in all directions. This time the street lamps burn out, but the sirens continue.
A shadow eclipses Jimmy and Brickhouse. They spin around to a giant statue of ANUBIS begins moving from its spot in front of the museum. He utters a low growl and stands staring over the two baddies.
JIMMY EWEBAD
Uhhhhh, boss. I think we’re dead now.
BRICKHOUSE
You idiot, Gimme that staff.
Jimmy, looking rediculous in his dark green spandex suit, runs across the street, dodging cars to get away from the giant Anubis. Brickhouse begins bounding after him in mechanical leaps.
WHAM! The statue slams its staff against Brickhouse throwing him nearly a hundred feet down the street.
Cars screech to stops. The cops come swerving up through any available space.
CAPTAIN JONES opens his door and shields his bigger build body. He radios back to headquarters.
CAPTAIN JONES
Captain Jones to all available units, the shit has hit the fan. Send everything to the museum. Out.
The harbinger of death destroys cars swinging its staff and flail.
RADIO DISPATCHER
Copy Captain. Clarify the situation.
CAPTAIN JONES
Get me the big guns NOW!
Brickhouse, slow to stand, bounds on top of cars and leaps onto the shoulders of the Anumis. He piggy back rides the statuecovering its eyes.
BRICKHOUSE
Now you insolent waste of a costume. Use the staff.
JIMMY EWEBAD
Give me my glory!
The Animus writhes Brickhouse off of his shoulders.
Slams him into a slew of police cars. Brickhouse lays unconcious, his parts not moving under his feeble will.
Cops scatter like flies to avoid debris. Many of them tuck and roll, coming up firing at the statue.
Bullets fly, clips get emptied.
Stone chips errupt off of the Anumis, yet somehow it doesn’t lose much mass.
Jimmy squats behind a police car taking cover. That’s all ordinary humans can do against a beast like this.
The Anumis roars and throws a car towards Jimmy’s cover. The car bounces off of several and causes Jimmy’s car to slide toward a street lamp.
Jimmy is going to be pinned. He jumps up and slides across the hood of the car.
The car slams into the light pole, causing the pole to come crashing down. The bulb smashes when it his the car.
Jimmy hudles around the staff to avoid shrapnel. The glass shatters around him, but he seems protected by a spherical forcefield.
The Anumis approaches Jimmy. Jimmy snaps his black rubber gloves.
JIMMY EWEBAD
(In epic catchphrase fashion)
This is my time.
Jimmy squats in an athletic stance, ready to pounce on the foot of the statue. The Anumis takes one more step.
Jimmy readies himself and leaps. He extends the staff, aiming right into the Anumis’ foot.
He comes crashing down, stabbing the concrete foot.
A blue orb explodes from the point of impact. The Anumis returns to its original pose, now lifeless.
The cops stare in awe. Then stand up and begin applauding Jimmy. He rises and uses the staff to walk toward them.
Captain Jones extends his hand to shake Jimmy’s hand.
CAPTAIN JONES
Thank you... erm.
JIMMY EWEBAD
The names Jimmy. Jimmy Ewe...good.
CAPTAIN JONES
The force owes you a gratitude. Drop by anytime to continue to help.
JIMMY EWEBAD
Thank you officer.
CAPTAIN JONES
(To other officers)
Wrangle him up boys. Lets wrap this.
Captain Jones points to Brickhouse. Several officers surround him, and begin pulling him out of his bio-mech suit.
Jimmy hails a cab and rides away.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:56 pm
INT. LORD TWILIGHT’S CASTLE – NIGHT
THUNDER CRACKS!
BRICKHOUSE, an 8-foot tall, red-giant of a man, strides across the stone floor of a dark, musty corridor. He trembles not out of nervousness, but because his muscles pulse with an energy he cannot control.
Brickhouse places an ancient staff at the feet of his master, the sinewy LORD TWILIGHT, who perches on a thrown below a massive stained glass window.
LORD TWILIGHT
(nodding his approval)
You have done well.
Brickhouse bows low, pounding his fist into the floor with finality.
BRICKHOUSE
The plan had to be adjusted, master.
LORD TWILIGHT
I trust you.
SMASH!
The stained glass window shatters to a million pieces.
THUD!
Landing amidst the colored fragments, our hero, RECKONING, is as brawny as Brickhouse, but has a cool aura of dry ice about his shimmering frame.
The stained glass fragments reflect his icy-blue hue as he thumps towards Lord Twilight.
RECKONING
You have something that does not belong to you.
A FLASH!
Lord Twilights reaches for the staff and it snaps through the air into his hands.
He leaps above Reckoning’s massive frame and towards the broken window.
LORD TWILIGHT
It was mine before you came to be!
Reckoning leaps after Lord Twilight grabbing him by one skinny ankle and thrusting him to the cold stone floor.
SMACK! Lord Twilight lands at Brickhouse’s feet.
LORD TWILIGHT
Brickhouse, you thug, stop him!
Brickhouse hoists Lord Twilight’s heavy ornate throne and heaves it at Reckoning.
The throne explodes into smithereens against the stone wall as Reckoning throws himself out of the throne’s path with a graceful spin.
Reckoning wills the large splinters of wood into the air where they hover for a moment before whipping themselves toward Brickhouse.
Brickhouse flexes his muscles and a red spherical force-field emerges, surrounding him.
BRICKHOUSE
Arggghhh!
The splinters smash into the force-field and drop to the floor.
Lord Twilight slithers away with the staff in his spindly hand.
RECKONING
That staff belonged to my father.
Reckoning wills a sword off the wall and flings it towards Brickhouse.
LORD TWILIGHT
It was a gift from him to me!
The sword penetrates Brickhouse’s force-field but just barely.
Reckoning stomps towards Lord Twilight, hovering over him, his back to Brickhouse.
RECKONING
He would not have betrayed his master in such a way!
Brickhouse un-flexes, grabbing the sword as it falls.
LORD TWILIGHT
(whisper)
I was your father’s master.
Brickhouse whips the sword at Reckoning.
The sword flies through the air! Towards Reckoning! Who’s not looking!
SHWAP! Reckoning’s hand grabs the sword in mid-air.
Blood trickles down his wrist.
RECKONING
You lie.
BOOM! Reckoning thrusts the sword into Lord Twilight’s chest, snatching the staff from Lord Twilight’s weakened grip.
Brickhouse rushes Reckoning and tackles him. Together they tumble down the hallway towards the open doors at the end.
THUNDER CRACKS, WIND HOWLS, and lightening brightens the room for several seconds while they tumble.
With a heave, Reckoning breaks free and rights himself.
RECKONING
Enough!
Brickhouse stands to his feet, and stares at Reckoning, stealing glances at his surroundings.
RECKONING
There’s nothing to throw. You’re done.
Brickhouse, breathing heavy, turns for the open doors, ready to sprint.
Reckoning whips the staff at the doors, which shut suddenly with a resounding SLAM.
Brickhouse stops.
BRICKHOUSE
You never could let it go.
Reckoning turns to see that Lord Twilight has died where he lay.
BRICKHOUSE
Do you hear me? You cling to the past! You’re not as powerful as you could be old friend.
Reckoning whips the staff at Brickhouse, picking him up with a beam of light.
Brickhouse writhes in pain while he is moved above Reckoning’s head back to where Lord Twilight lays.
With a flick of his wrist, Reckoning drops Brickhouse onto Lord Twilight and shoots a beam of light from the staff to the ceiling above them. The stones come crashing down followed by torrents of rain.
RECKONING
(bitterly)
Good bye. Old friend.
He turns and trudges quietly out the large doors, closing them gently behind him.
Is my “power of Grayskull” showing? Oops!
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:04 am
Thanks for the excuse to play, John. Over a hundred entries – hope you don’t regret it.
INT. MUSEUM STORAGE – NIGHT
A museum warehouse. Boxes of priceless artifacts, tables of half completed cateloging efforts litter the room. The ceiling criss crossed with SCAFFOLDING which supports the lights and numerous CLIMATE CONTROL UNITS that help protect the delicate relics.
BRICKHOUSE is NINE FEET TALL, the proportions of a pro football player or wrester, and is tearing through a pile of crates looking for something, tossing boxes the size of televisions over his shoulder with ease. He whistles with disturbing cheeriness as he works.
RACHEL eyes him silently, hidden behind a pile of boxes. She’s sixteen, has her red hair pulled back in a purely functional pony tail, and is wearing a stitched together monstrosity of yellow spandex that she might have made herself. She is frightened out of her mind. To her credit, that won’t stop her. She rounds the corner.
RACHEL
Stop.
Brickhouse, his back to her, pulls a STAFF reverently from a box. In his hand it GLOWS AND HUMS with power. Rachel’s eyes dart to it knowingly. Brickhouse turns to face her.
BRICKHOUSE
Cheerleader?
She looks at him, confused by his demeanor as much as by his question.
BRICKHOUSE
(continued)
Like for high school football?
His free hand idles with a large, ancient shield, round and metalic. Rachel seems lost.
RACHEL
Costume. It’s a costume, my, yannow, super costume.
BRICKHOUSE
(Done now)
Sure. Whatever.
Brick HURLS THE SHIELD at Rachel with tremendous force. She SIDESTEPS it, purely out of instinct, but she moves so fast for a moment we’re not sure if she dodged, or if Brick has bad aim. The shield embedds itself six inches in the crate behind her.
BRICKHOUSE
Hrm.
Clay pot, crystal vase, ceremonial cup -- three more items fly at her in rapid succession, and Rachel dodges each one like a cat. They shatter to powder. Rachel stares him down, takes a long breath.
BRICKHOUSE
Gymnast then?
Rachel takes the fight to him in two quick leaps. Brick holds the staff out of the fray with one hand, aims for Rachel’s skull with the other. WHOOSH – just air. He reverses the punch into a backhand. Air. She is unnervingly fast, like fighting mercury. He raises both fists above his head. brings them down together in a hammer blow. She backflips away. Brick’s fists rupture the floor, a spider web of cracks and fissures.
Rachel crouches between him and the exit. She grins -- this isn’t frightening. This is fun.
Brick roars toward her, whipping the staff through the air, using the precious artifact for reach. But she slips through every whistling blow. Frustrated, he overextends himself, and SMACK she lands a punch across his jaw.
He sweeps his arms up, she stumbles, trips onto her back. Brick pounces, she rolls to the left, but he grabs her by the hair. Yanks her to her feet, and with a victorious howl, slams her face first into a pillar.
She crumples.
Still angry, he drags her toward a pile of boxes, shoves her upper body through a crate, timbers shattering. She doesn’t move. A beat.
BRICKHOUSE
(Finally scratching an itch)
Ahh. Better. That’s much better.
He walks toward to the exit, twirling the staff in his hand like a cane, whistle returned. RACHEL STAGGERS FREE -- nose broken, lips bloody, eye swollen. Stumbles after him, picks up speed. Jumps, grabs the scaffolding, swings forward and launches herself feet first into the back of Brickhouse’s skull.
He goes down flat on his stomach. Rachel slams her foot on his hand and KICKS THE STAFF AWAY. It skims across the floor, settles in front of the exit. Brick pulls himself up, punches at her uselessly with every word
BRICKHOUSE
Why won’t you stay --
He grabs a table, covered in detritus, brings it over his head and swats at her like a fly.
BRICKHOUSE
STILL!
VOICE
(o/s)
Freeze!
The doors to the warehouse scream open. The room fills with light and a rush of SWAT OFFICERS, weapons at the ready. They don’t know who the bad guy is. Their guns track Brickhouse, then Rachel.
BRICKHOUSE
You’re fast, cheerleader. But I bet bullets are faster.
Brick hurls the table toward the SWAT -- they scatter, the table crashes through the warehouse doors. The SWAT respond by opening fire.
Brick’s right, she can’t dodge bullets. Rachel LEAPS INHUMANLY HIGH into the rafters and the darkness. Brick walks toward the SWAT, BULLETS SLIDING OFF HIS HIDE, all fire focuses on him. He looms over an OFFICER who stands between him and the staff.
BRICKHOUSE
Excuse me.
The SWAT officer, mouth agape, is silenced. Brick grabs him by the face, fingers into his open mouth, thumb under his chin. Brick picks him up by the lower jaw while--
--Rachel leaps from bar to bar, watching in slow motion as--
--Brick WRENCHES HIS WRIST, the sound of snapping celery before tossing the office aside. Cool and collected, smiling in fact, he bends to pick up the staff--
CRUNCH! Rachel riding a GIANT CLIMATE CONTROL UNIT FALLS ON HIS HEAD. The unit leaves a six inch deep crater on the floor, Brick’s body goes limp underneath it.
Rachel slides off the unit, ignores Brick’s corpse, the SWAT team, the fallen staff, and runs to the body of the thrown officer. She falls to her knees.
He’s dead. Head turned at a horrifying angle, vertebrae pushing weirdly against the skin, jaw dislocated and hanging in a mute expression of horror. Rachel stares.
The click of a half dozen guns. She’s surrounded
SWAT TEAM LEADER
You’re under arrest.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 am
Thanks for reading. This site is a great resource.
Peace and love from SF.
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- CLOSED FOR THE NIGHT.
BRICKHOUSE, a huge man with intelligent eyes, holds the wooden STAFF OF MOSES. He quickly hands this to MS. MATCH, a mousey brunette graduate teaching assistant type.
BRICKHOUSE
(Quietly)
Be careful, according to my research the staff can and will control the flow of water. Just like Moses used to escape the Pharaoh.
MS. MATCH
(Giddy)
With it, your strength and your Hurricane Yell, there is an 88.5% chance that the city of San Francisco will be ours in no less than three days.
BRICKHOUSE
Mine. Not ‘ours.’ Mine.
Ms. Match smirks and places the Staff of Moses in a shoulder carrying case.
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM -- DEAD OF NIGHT
Brickhouse and Ms. Match make their exit through the front. They pass a few gagged and bound GUARDS who struggle at the sight of the villains.
SIRENS sound off.
From the left and right SQUAD CARS and SWAT TRUCKS full of police screech around the corners surrounding Ms. Match and Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
What’s happening here?
MS. MATCH
There’s a 90% chance that we tripped an alarm.
BRICKHOUSE
What?
MS. MATCH
Odds of escape are ten to one. Five to one with the use of Staff.
BRICKHOUSE
I’ll handle this.
Brickhouse unbuttons his shirt and inhales. His chest expands double and he looks at the oncoming onslaught of POLICE vehicles and smiles.
BRICKHOUSE
I’ll huff and puff.
Brickhouse blows a huge burst of WIND from his mouth. The WIND rips through the street scattering loose paper and hits the first police car lifting it up and crashing it into the swat van behind.
Brickhouse turns and dispatches the oncoming cars from the other direction.
MS. MATCH
Odds of escape are now 1 in 2.
BRICKHOUSE
Let’s go.
Brickhouse and Ms. Match jog down the street into an alleyway.
EXT. ALLEYWAY -- AFTERHOURS BAR -- LATE NIGHT
Our hero, DOGMA, stands drunkenly with a beer in one hand and a phone in the other. He’s a skinny hipster with a Member’s Only Jacket. Dogma glances at the couple and then goes back to his beer and phone conversation.
Brickhouse and Ms. Match maneuver past but the ALLEYWAY is so very narrow.
The Staff nudges the beer and it crashes to the ground.
Brickhouse and Ms. Match keep going.
DOGMA
(To Phone)
Hold on.
(Yells To Ms. Match)
A ‘Sorry’ would be nice.
Brickhouse and Ms. Match ignore him. They move on quickly.
DOGMA
(To Phone)
I’m going to have to call you back.
(Yells To Brickhouse)
Hey, Jerk-off. Your girlfriend destroyed my beer. What kind of etiquette is that? You meat-head uneducated bastards. Make an offer to replace it at least. Then I say, ‘No, it’s cool.’ End of story. No manners nowadays. Even with old folks.
Brickhouse’s huge form stops.
MS. MATCH
Let’s just go. There is a 95% chance that the police are still following.
BRICKHOUSE
No. I hate drunkards.
Brickhouse loads up his lungs for a huge gust of wind and swings himself towards Dogma. He unleashes.
PAPERS and TRASH fill up the alleyway, but Dogma drunkenly sways with the breeze. He closes his eyes.
DOGMA
(Sing-Song)
I’ve got super powers, too. I’ve got super powers, too.
An incredulous Brickhouse loads up his HURRICANE strength wind and blows again.
BRICKS and MORTAR crumble off the buildings and debris flies at Dogma.
Dogma just leans into the gale.
DOGMA
Need a breathmint?
Brickhouse is infuriated at this insolence.
BRICKHOUSE
Give me the Staff.
MS. MATCH
There is a high degree of unpredictability here.
BRICKHOUSE
Just give me the Staff.
Ms. Match just shakes her head and pulls the Staff from the casing.
Brickhouse lifts up the Staff and water leaks out of the walls on both sides of the alley.
METAL pipes bend and protrude out of the apartments and a large WALL OF WATER forms in front of Brickhouse.
Brickhouse loads up his lungs and blows at the same time directing the wall of water at Dogma.
The wind and water rush at our hero. It smashes him and sweeps him off his feet through the alley.
The elements keep coming, pushing Dogma out with bricks and garbage cans and a couple motorcycles.
The gale and water immediately shut off like a water valve.
Dogma gets up and shakes off the water.
DOGMA
Now, I’m pissed. Look at what you did to my bike.
Dogma runs towards Brickhouse.
Brickhouse inhales and then attacks again with wind.
It looks impossible, but the skinny Dogma continues his march towards Brickhouse.
Brickhouse increases his efforts.
Dogma slows down to a strained walk but keeps closing the distance.
Brickhouse blows harder. Ms. Match looks worried.
Brickhouse uses the Staff to direct even more water, but Dogma shields his eyes and walks with his head down. Getting closer.
Finally Dogma gets to within punching distance of Brickhouse. Dogma leans back and clocks Brickhouse in the kisser. The wind and water stop. The Staff goes flying.
Brickhouse lands on his back: out cold with a red fist mark from Dogma’s blow.
Dogma catches the Staff.
MS. MATCH
What are you doing?
Dogma waves the staff over the spot where he lost his beer. A small globe of beer rises up from the ground.
Dogma grins and swigs it down.
DOGMA
This’ll come in handy.
MS. MATCH
That’s my staff.
DOGMA
Not anymore.
Dogma walks drunkenly out to where his motorcycle lies on its side. He shakes his head with disgust and picks up the bike.
He shoves the Staff into the sissy bar on the rear of the bike and starts his little Honda.
MS. MATCH
We’ll get you for this.
DOGMA
Whatever.
Dogma rides off.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 am
Ext. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAWN
It’s Sunday morning on a New York late-spring day, hardly any cars in this side of the city though. From a height of about 200 ft we descend down on a half a block sized emptiness. Museum nowhere in site..
TIME LAPSE: IN REVERSE
Quickly into darkness until we see the “reconstruction” of a rather small building about twenty feet from the near-side corner of the Museum site. Fire and smoke dissipate as we PAN to the right and see a wide door flying back to complete the small building.
Going up now we see the exhaust fumes of a rocket that follows its own path back to a BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER that regains control.
CLOSE ON BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER/END TIME LAPSE
PILOT early 50’s, has his head slouched to the side, although his eyes are bloodshot he is awake. Behind him, what looks to be a teenage boy, with short blond hair has his head down, arms crossed. Boy raises his head.. it’s a girl.
PILOT
I – What’s your name?
INT. BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER – CONTINUOUS
Thinking she didn’t hear him..
PILOT
You ready?!
Targeting system locks on to small building. Girl lowers her head and waves her hand over it. It turns black.
She looks up with dangerous eyes.
GIRL
I still don’t have a name yet.. ( she begins stretching ) a super hero one.
An amulet appears over her neck.
PILOT
Oh. Well how about -
GIRL
Sound the alarm will ya.
PILOT places thumb over blue button, holds it until it turns red, and waits for her signal. She stands, hands under top railing for assistance. She pats him on the head. PILOT turns..
PILOT
(not liking the pat on the head)
I’m old enough to be your father you know.
GIRL
That’s what they all say.
She takes a breath.
PILOT
So don’t do that! It’s very demeaning..( presses button ) and it sends the wrong signal.
She LEAPS.
CLOSE ON HER EYES
She closes them tight for a second and then opens them as wide as she can, as if challenging her self to try and keep them open.
Falling..WHOOSH an explosion fills up the frame, it’s massive, too large to be coming from the small building..
CUT TO : DARKNESS
INT. SECURITY ROOM – SOME TIME
Our darkness is the back of an office chair. It swivels as someone gets up. A wall of televisions black out.
Suddenly..
SECURITY GUARD #1
( o.s )
He’s coming for me! Over. He’s coming in!
A knock on the door. We get a look at the security guard as he turns to the door. 20, He’s quite calm, but his hand trembles on the walkie talkie. He turns it down.
CLOSE ON HIS NECK
A vein is popping out.
EXT. SECURITY ROOM – CONTINUOUS
SECURITY GUARDS #2 and #3 break open door.
LOOKING IN
SECURITY GUARD #1 has walkie talkie drawn as if it were a weapon. He realizes this and quickly draws his gun.
SECURITY GUARD #2
Stop hiding, get out here! and help us find the damn thing.
SECURITY GUARD #1
No. Go Away or I will shoot. You too Tommy.
SECURITY GUARD #3
What! Give me a break.
SECURITY GUARD #1
No, I heard you guys on the radio. I know what your intentions are.
INT. SECURITY ROOM – CONTINUOUS
We look at #2 and #3 as they look at each other a bit confused. #2 looks over #3’s shoulder.
SECURITY GUARD # 1
(Cont’d)
Oh, so you don’t know how these things work either huh. I got it. I got what he wants.
Suddenly a white body builder appears between #2 and #3. Weighing in at about 250, he appears a bit skinny because he’s so damn tall. And though he ain’t bald, he has a really messed up haircut.
SECURITY GUARD #1 fakes a smile, so does BRICKHOUSE, the bodybuilder. He walks in now, ducking his head for clearance and speaks with demented purpose.
BRICKHOUSE
You have it?
SECURITY GUARD #1
Not exactly.
BRICKHOUSE
Good.
He walks back out. His back at the doorway as he stares at the wall in the hallway, he then puts his head down, with #2 and #3 on either side of him. He begins humming..suddenly both of his arms PUNCH OUT in their corresponding directions. He gets #2 who is on his left, cleanly, a complete knockout. #3 receives a glancing blow. BRICKHOUSE starts a 180′ to his left, then finishes off #3 with an enormous right hook, to make it a 270′ and then arrives where he started his humming, to finish a last note. BRICKHOUSE starts a step to the left.
SECURITY GUARD#1
Wait.
BRICKHOUSE
You can’t stop time.
BRICKHOUSE walks off.
SECURITY GUARD #1
What!?
SECURITY GUARD gets lost in his thoughts for a second, then scrambles by the door, heading for a disconnected mini-fridge. In it is a wrapped cloth that seems to be holding something. He clenches his gun , grabs cloth and heads out after him.
INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER
Running and lost in his thoughts again, SECURITY GUARD #1 threatens to shoot BRICKHOUSE who has stopped to tie a shoe.
SECURITY GUARD#1
I don’t know any other way. I don’t think I can take you, so it has to be like this. I’m -
BRICKHOUSE
You won’t.
SECURITY GUARD #1
( not wanting to shoot is mad at himself )
What the! F-
He drops the cloth, it unravels and reveals a two pieces of a wooden staff. It has been broken. He begins moving his hands up and down this way and that, as if talking to himself without words, trying to will his courage...nothing.
BRICKHOUSE turns and blows at him as if blowing out a match. Mocking him so.
SECURITY GUARD #1 goes for the staff. He grasps the right one with his his right, the left one with his left.
And as he looks up..
MONTAGE
Images go off in his head.
- A wall -
- A clock –
- An explosion -
- The wide eyes of a girl surrounded by heat -
He drops the staff and is taken aback until it dawns on him..
SECURITY GUARD #1
( almost crying but definitely screaming )
You’re gonna kill my sister you, you bitch!
BRICKHOUSE is nowhere in site. Suddenly he reappears from the corner he has just turned.
BRICKHOUSE
Who?
FROM DARKNESS
MATCH CUT:
EXT. VICINITY OF BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER – DAWN
TO DARKNESS
TIME LAPSE: IN REVERSE
FIRE away from her eyes. She is no longer falling. She is looking up. TIME LAPSE is sped up.
CUT TO:
INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY – SOME TIME
BRICKHOUSE
Is she pretty?
SECURITY GUARD#1
Why don’t you look for yourself.
BRICKHOUSE
Get outta’ here.
Waving him off.
BRICKHOUSE
(CONT’D)
I know what’s gonna happen because I know what I’m gonna do. I’m bigger than you, you can’t stop something bigger than yourself. Point, blank, exclamation point.
Winks.
SECURITY GUARD flips him the bird, BRICKHOUSE does the same then dislocates his own finger. He disappears to the right. SECURITY GUARD #1 hesitates going for staff again.
BACK TO:
INT. BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER
She raises her head.
PILOT
You ready?!
Targeting system locks on to small building. Girl lowers her head and waves her hand over it. It turns black.
She looks up with dangerous eyes.
She stands.. she has flowing dark hair.
GIRL
( turning to him with mean eyes )
Don’t sound the alarm. (here) Please.
SECURITY GUARD #1
( V.O )
HOLY SHIT it’s a bomb.
BRICKHOUSE
(V.O)
I know it’s a bomb. What do you think I’m doing here?
SECURITY GUARD #1
(V.O)
What else do you know?
BRICKHOUSE
(V.O)
I survive it.
PILOT
Okay.
He turns in his seat and nods, she looks really pretty.
GIRL
You want my name?
PILOT
Shoot. ( shrugs his shoulder as in oops ) I know I know.
GIRL
Well it ain’t barbie.
She falls forward, right out of the helicopter.
EXT. VICINITY OF BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER – CONTINUOUS
We follow her falling head first. Though it looks as if she’s flying up because – she raises her hands above her head as if diving.
CLOSE ON HER EYES
She closes them.
CLOSE ON AMULET
FADE TO BLACK
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 am
holy crap i got so excited i submitted without putting my name, hope that doesn’t show up..
Ext. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAWN
It’s Sunday morning on a New York late-spring day, hardly any cars in this side of the city though. From a height of about 200 ft we descend down on a half a block sized emptiness. Museum nowhere in site..
TIME LAPSE: IN REVERSE
Quickly into darkness until we see the “reconstruction” of a rather small building about twenty feet from the near-side corner of the Museum site. Fire and smoke dissipate as we PAN to the right and see a wide door flying back to complete the small building.
Going up now we see the exhaust fumes of a rocket that follows its own path back to a BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER that regains control.
CLOSE ON BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER/END TIME LAPSE
PILOT early 50’s, has his head slouched to the side, although his eyes are bloodshot he is awake. Behind him, what looks to be a teenage boy, with short blond hair has his head down, arms crossed. Boy raises his head.. it’s a girl.
PILOT
I – What’s your name?
INT. BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER – CONTINUOUS
Thinking she didn’t hear him..
PILOT
You ready?!
Targeting system locks on to small building. Girl lowers her head and waves her hand over it. It turns black.
She looks up with dangerous eyes.
GIRL
I still don’t have a name yet.. ( she begins stretching ) a super hero one.
An amulet appears over her neck.
PILOT
Oh. Well how about -
GIRL
Sound the alarm will ya.
PILOT places thumb over blue button, holds it until it turns red, and waits for her signal. She stands, hands under top railing for assistance. She pats him on the head. PILOT turns..
PILOT
(not liking the pat on the head)
I’m old enough to be your father you know.
GIRL
That’s what they all say.
She takes a breath.
PILOT
So don’t do that! It’s very demeaning..( presses button ) and it sends the wrong signal.
She LEAPS.
CLOSE ON HER EYES
She closes them tight for a second and then opens them as wide as she can, as if challenging her self to try and keep them open.
Falling..WHOOSH an explosion fills up the frame, it’s massive, too large to be coming from the small building..
CUT TO : DARKNESS
INT. SECURITY ROOM – SOME TIME
Our darkness is the back of an office chair. It swivels as someone gets up. A wall of televisions black out.
Suddenly..
SECURITY GUARD #1
( o.s )
He’s coming for me! Over. He’s coming in!
A knock on the door. We get a look at the security guard as he turns to the door. 20, He’s quite calm, but his hand trembles on the walkie talkie. He turns it down.
CLOSE ON HIS NECK
A vein is popping out.
EXT. SECURITY ROOM – CONTINUOUS
SECURITY GUARDS #2 and #3 break open door.
LOOKING IN
SECURITY GUARD #1 has walkie talkie drawn as if it were a weapon. He realizes this and quickly draws his gun.
SECURITY GUARD #2
Stop hiding, get out here! and help us find the damn thing.
SECURITY GUARD #1
No. Go Away or I will shoot. You too Tommy.
SECURITY GUARD #3
What! Give me a break.
SECURITY GUARD #1
No, I heard you guys on the radio. I know what your intentions are.
INT. SECURITY ROOM – CONTINUOUS
We look at #2 and #3 as they look at each other a bit confused. #2 looks over #3’s shoulder.
SECURITY GUARD # 1
(Cont’d)
Oh, so you don’t know how these things work either huh. I got it. I got what he wants.
Suddenly a white body builder appears between #2 and #3. Weighing in at about 250, he appears a bit skinny because he’s so damn tall. And though he ain’t bald, he has a really messed up haircut.
SECURITY GUARD #1 fakes a smile, so does BRICKHOUSE, the bodybuilder. He walks in now, ducking his head for clearance and speaks with demented purpose.
BRICKHOUSE
You have it?
SECURITY GUARD #1
Not exactly.
BRICKHOUSE
Good.
He walks back out. His back at the doorway as he stares at the wall in the hallway, he then puts his head down, with #2 and #3 on either side of him. He begins humming..suddenly both of his arms PUNCH OUT in their corresponding directions. He gets #2 who is on his left, cleanly, a complete knockout. #3 receives a glancing blow. BRICKHOUSE starts a 180′ to his left, then finishes off #3 with an enormous right hook, to make it a 270′ and then arrives where he started his humming, to finish a last note. BRICKHOUSE starts a step to the left.
SECURITY GUARD#1
Wait.
BRICKHOUSE
You can’t stop time.
BRICKHOUSE walks off.
SECURITY GUARD #1
What!?
SECURITY GUARD gets lost in his thoughts for a second, then scrambles by the door, heading for a disconnected mini-fridge. In it is a wrapped cloth that seems to be holding something. He clenches his gun , grabs cloth and heads out after him.
INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY – MOMENTS LATER
Running and lost in his thoughts again, SECURITY GUARD #1 threatens to shoot BRICKHOUSE who has stopped to tie a shoe.
SECURITY GUARD#1
I don’t know any other way. I don’t think I can take you, so it has to be like this. I’m -
BRICKHOUSE
You won’t.
SECURITY GUARD #1
( not wanting to shoot is mad at himself )
What the! F-
He drops the cloth, it unravels and reveals a two pieces of a wooden staff. It has been broken. He begins moving his hands up and down this way and that, as if talking to himself without words, trying to will his courage...nothing.
BRICKHOUSE turns and blows at him as if blowing out a match. Mocking him so.
SECURITY GUARD #1 goes for the staff. He grasps the right one with his his right, the left one with his left.
And as he looks up..
MONTAGE
Images go off in his head.
- A wall -
- A clock –
- An explosion -
- The wide eyes of a girl surrounded by heat -
He drops the staff and is taken aback until it dawns on him..
SECURITY GUARD #1
( almost crying but definitely screaming )
You’re gonna kill my sister you, you bitch!
BRICKHOUSE is nowhere in site. Suddenly he reappears from the corner he has just turned.
BRICKHOUSE
Who?
FROM DARKNESS
MATCH CUT:
EXT. VICINITY OF BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER – DAWN
TO DARKNESS
TIME LAPSE: IN REVERSE
FIRE away from her eyes. She is no longer falling. She is looking up. TIME LAPSE is sped up.
CUT TO:
INT. BASEMENT HALLWAY – SOME TIME
BRICKHOUSE
Is she pretty?
SECURITY GUARD#1
Why don’t you look for yourself.
BRICKHOUSE
Get outta’ here.
Waving him off.
BRICKHOUSE
(CONT’D)
I know what’s gonna happen because I know what I’m gonna do. I’m bigger than you, you can’t stop something bigger than yourself. Point, blank, exclamation point.
Winks.
SECURITY GUARD flips him the bird, BRICKHOUSE does the same then dislocates his own finger. He disappears to the right. SECURITY GUARD #1 hesitates going for staff again.
BACK TO:
INT. BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER
She raises her head.
PILOT
You ready?!
Targeting system locks on to small building. Girl lowers her head and waves her hand over it. It turns black.
She looks up with dangerous eyes.
She stands.. she has flowing dark hair.
GIRL
( turning to him with mean eyes )
Don’t sound the alarm. (here) Please.
SECURITY GUARD #1
( V.O )
HOLY SHIT it’s a bomb.
BRICKHOUSE
(V.O)
I know it’s a bomb. What do you think I’m doing here?
SECURITY GUARD #1
(V.O)
What else do you know?
BRICKHOUSE
(V.O)
I survive it.
PILOT
Okay.
He turns in his seat and nods, she looks really pretty.
GIRL
You want my name?
PILOT
Shoot. ( shrugs his shoulder as in oops ) I know I know.
GIRL
Well it ain’t barbie.
She falls forward, right out of the helicopter.
EXT. VICINITY OF BLACKHAWK HELICOPTER – CONTINUOUS
We follow her falling head first. Though it looks as if she’s flying up because – she raises her hands above her head as if diving.
CLOSE ON HER EYES
She closes them.
CLOSE ON AMULET
FADE TO BLACK
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:05 am
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
A MAN and WOMAN hurry up the steps of this grim, gothic building that is the suppository of Western civilization’s cast-off artifacts.
INT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – LOBBY -- DAY
The man and woman duck behind one of the many pillars holding up the vast dome. DIRK FRESNO and UVA JONES are exact opposites. He’s a man, she’s a woman.
While some people consider him handsome (actually just his mother), Dirk’s bland features allow him to blend in with his surroundings, which is important in his job as a tabloid photographer.
Uva is a stunning beauty, tall and thin, with fiery red hair and flashing green eyes--the perfect specifications for the fashion model she used be--until she fell off a runway and wrecked a knee. Her former friends now call her “Gimpy.” Gimpy--er, Uva, is now a reporter for the National Slasher.
Dirk pulls a honking big Canon out his camera bag and takes some shots of the warrior exhibits in the deserted lobby: a knight wearing armor made of plaited grass; another knight in a suit made of turtle shells; a ninja armed with a heavy purse and a pointy umbrella.
DIRK
Man, those guys couldn’t scare a Brownie.
UVA
I don’t think “scaring” is what they’d have in mind if they met a Brownie. Hmm, there’s a story in that: “Perverts in Armor.”
DIRK
Shh, did you hear that?
Right on cue, we HEAR a blood-curdling scream coming from the other side of the lobby.
CUT TO:
COLONNADED HALLWAY
Dirk runs down the dark passageway, while the limping Uva struggles to keep up.
UVA
Slow down you bastard!
She stops running, leans against a colonnade, and massages her knee.
UVA
See what happens the next time you try to get into my pants.
A long thick arm encased in red wool reaches around the post and smothers her face in a huge hand. She beats furiously at the arm as it draws her out of sight.
CUT TO:
INT. THRONE ROOM
Dirk steps over the shattered door and takes in the displays: a half-dozen thrones of the kingly variety are arranged in a semicircle with effigies of as many ancient kings sitting on them. The middle one is of a jolly fat fellow smiling down at the figure of a woman on her knees who looks as if she’s about to provide a valuable service. One of the king’s arms is extended toward her and the empty hand is held in a gripping motion.
In the middle of the semicircle of kings lies the broken body of the old curator, DR. ERASMON SMIK. Dirk crosses to Erasmon, goes down on one knee and cradles the man’s head. The eyes flutter open but have difficulty focusing on Dirk.
ERASMON
Brickhouse stole Henry’s stick.
He gestures vaguely at the figure of the jolly fat fellow.
DIRK
I got a tip that murdering devil was headed here. But who’s Henry?
ERASMON
King Henry the Eighth.
DIRK
And Brickhouse stole his dick?
ERASMON
Stick, you idiot!
A geyser of blood accompanies the exclamation point, spattering Dirk’s face.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY
Uva is struggling to free herself from the clutches of BRICKHOUSE, an outhouse-sized monster of a man wearing red long johns and combat boots. Hanging from one side of his rope-belt is a kid’s toy shovel; tucked into the belt on the other side is a gaudy jewel-encrusted scepter.
UVA
Let me go you monster! You stink!
BRICKHOUSE
You can thank Dr. Hoozit for that.
UVA
What has my demented uncle to do with you?
Brickhouse stops in his tracks and shakes her like a rag doll.
BRICKHOSE
He junked up my DNA, fed me steroids by the truckload, and you wouldn’t believe the crap he makes me eat! And I’m hungry all the time--he sped up my metabolism like you wouldn’t believe.
He stops shaking the ex-model and lets her collapse to the floor, her skirt artfully hiked up to expose a generous amount of leg. She shakes her head and looks up, a spark in her eyes.
UVA
Sped-up metabolism? Women would kill for that!
CUT TO:
THRONE ROOM
Dirk finishes wiping the blood off his face with the sleeve of Erasmon’s shirt. He lets the limp arm drop. Erasmon draws breath for some final words.
ERASMON
Legend has it that Henry’s stick--also referred to as a scepter--has magical powers. Queen Elizabeth is reputed to have used it to destroy the Spanish Armada.
DIRK
What a crock. Hey, Uva, did you hear that crazy talk?
He looks around, frowns.
DIRK
Uva?
He abruptly stands up, letting Erasmon’s head thump to the floor.
DIRK
I smell Brickhouse’s hand in this.
Erasmon weakly lifts a hand but fails to draw Dirk’s attention.
DIRK
I gotta find her--she’s my ride home!
He breaks into a run and fails to hear Erasmon gasp his last words.
ERASMON
I killed the Black Dahlia...
CUT TO:
LOBBY
Brickhouse drags Uva to the front doors.
UVA
Why did you let him experiment on you?
BRICKHOUSE
He promised me Angela’s hand in marriage.
UVA
Angela, my cousin?
BRICKHOUSE
Your cousin, his daughter. Same shit.
They stop at the doors as he checks the view outside through the glass panel. Uva looks desperately around.
UVA
Why the hell aren’t there any guards? Or even a docent?
BRICKHOUSE
Budget cutbacks.
DIRK (O.S.)
Uva, I’m coming!
Beauty and the beast whirl around as Dirk appears on the other side of the lobby. He puts on the brakes when he gets a clearer view of what’s holding his partner. He takes a few pictures.
DIRK
Let her go, Brickhouse. I’ve called the cops!
BRICKHOUSE
You and what army?
DIRK
Huh? That makes no sense.
BRICKHOUSE
Go away paparazzi, boy. Doc Hoozit and I have a world to conquer!
His laughter shakes the rafters of the lobby, sending dust and pieces of plaster raining down.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
The front doors burst open and fly off their hinges as Brickhouse bulls through, Uva still in tow. The doors clatter down the steps but the sound is DROWNED OUT BY THE SIRENS of a DOZEN COP CARS and TWO SWAT VANS swerving, braking, crashing to a stop in front of the museum.
A SHITLOAD OF COPS pile out of their vehicles drawing weapons and SCREAMING unintelligible orders.
CUT TO:
THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- SIDE EXIT
Dirk steps out of the building, wiping dust, plaster bits and dandruff out of his hair. He starts jogging for the front of the building where all the SIRENS ARE STARTING TO DIE OUT.
Dirk spots a sidewalk vendor pushing an avocado cart and dashes toward him.
VENDOR
Avocados! Get your avocados, here!
CUT TO:
THE CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – FRONT
The cops are arrayed in an impressive line at the bottom of the steps, all their weapons aimed at Brickhouse. CHIEF TORSON, a tall, whippet-thin man, advances halfway up the steps before stopping.
CHIEF TORSON
It’s no good, Brickhouse. The jig is up. Checkmate.
Brickhouse’s little pig eyes narrow as he surveys the hopelessness of his situation. And then he smiles.
BRICKHOUSE
You’re forgetting one thing, copper: you can’t kill the king!
He backslaps Uva away and she tumbles to the steps, dazed. In front of her, Brickhouse reaches behind him and undoes the buttons holding the trapdoor in place.
CHIEF TORSON
Don’t do it, Brickhouse!
He SHOOTS several times but the bullets have no effect on Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m bulletproof, you clown! Hah, hah!
He squats slightly and strains every muscle in his body and lets out a scream as he gives birth to gold brick-sized brick that is gold but not as valuable.
UVA
covers her eyes in horror and screams at what she just saw while
THE COPS
draw back in disgust and fear.
CHIEF TORSON
backs away hurriedly.
BRICKHOUSE
lets out a relieved sigh, grabs the shovel from his rope-belt, scoops up the brick and displays it to the cops.
BRICKHOUSE
It’s totally safe to handle--if you must handle such things--until the air hits it. When it starts steaming...well...
The brick starts steaming and the cops GROAN in dismay.
CHIEF TORSON
Fire! Fire! Fire!
The day is torn apart as the pistols and rifles roar to life. Bullets shatter apart when they hit Brickhouse, but the steps in front and the wall behind him chip and crater with the impacts.
UVA
low-crawls her way out of danger, but even so the bullets rip gaping holes in her dress, so that by the time she reaches safety, we can SEE that she’s wearing a quite fetching matched set of lacy black undergarments.
BRICKHOUSE
rears back and launches the brick at the line of cops.
THE BRICK
tumbles end over end...
THE COPS
turn to flee, but the brick smashes into them and EXPLODES in an expanding FIREBALL that blows the bodies apart and engulfs the vehicles, causing them to EXPLODE, causing further death and destruction.
AVOCADO CART
on the far side of the steps escapes unscathed, which is lucky for Dirk, who’s hiding behind it. When the debris stops falling, he leaps up the steps, grabs Uva by the hand and hauls her back to the cart.
DIRK
Give me your bra.
UVA
I thought you’d given that up, Dirk.
DIRK
Hurry!
She sighs but removes the remnants of her blouse to get at the bra.
BRICKHOUSE
surveys the smoking piles of bodies and burning wrecks, and smiles in satisfaction.
DIRK (O.S.)
Hey, Brickhouse!
Brickhouse snaps his head to the side and smiles when he sees Uva strategically arranging her blouse over her womanly attractions. The smile disappears when the black bra Dirk is madly twirling snaps open and a green grenade comes flying toward him.
BRICKHOUSE
What the...?
He snatches the grenade out of the air and opens his hand--and laughs when he sees it’s an avocado. He sniffs it first, then pops it into his mouth and swallows it, pit and all.
BRICKHOUSE
Thanks, paparazzi boy. I’m killing you as soon as you run out of avocados!
UVA AND DIRK
Dirk sends another avocado flying and Uva instantly hands him another one. He sets it into one of the boulder holders and starts twirling the bra again.
UVA
Why don’t we run?
Dirk launches the green orb and immediately holds out his hand for the next one.
DIRK
Run where?
He indicates the burning wrecks cutting off their escape route.
DIRK
Besides, someone has to stop Brickhouse and his mad master, Dr. Hoozit.
UVA
But how is this going to help?
BRICKHOUSE
plucks the avocados out of the air as quickly as Dirk can fling them, and just as quickly swallows them. But finally he has his fill and knocks the last one away.
BRICKHOUSE
Prepare to eat shit and die!
He goes into his semi-squat and starts tensing his body.
UVA AND DIRK
hold on to each other. Uva buries her face in Dirk’s chest. He pats her head uncertainly.
UVA
I saw him...make...the first one. It was so horrible!
BRICKHOUSE
grits his teeth and strains mightily, but the only thing escaping is his unending moan.
UVA AND DIRK
back up as close to the flames behind them as possible and wait.
UVA
What’s happening?
DIRK
There are some foods that give you the uh, runs, and there are others with the opposite effect.
As understanding dawns on Uva, a look of hope flits across her face.
BRICKHOUSE
is sweating and every muscle in his body is knotted in supreme effort but nothing happens. Now his eyes go wide in fear and his lips tremble piteously.
BRICKHOUSE
Oh no...oh no...
And in an instant briefer than the one that gave birth to the universe, Brickhouse EXPLODES with enough violence to crush the museum wall and scatter the bodies and cars.
When the smoke clears and the debris settles, there remains not a trace of Brickhouse.
TRACK SLOWLY over the bodies...the guttering cars...the broken buildings...
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. TWO BLOCKS AWAY -- A BIG TREE – DAY
There’s a RUSTLING in the tree and Uva and Dirk fall out of it. Unfortunately for Uva, the experience has further shredded what remains of her clothes. They stand up shakily, knock away leaves and twigs from their hair and clothes, and look back at the scene of devastation. SIRENS start building in the distance.
UVA
I’ll never be able to look at a rear end, again.
Dirk drapes a comforting arm around her shoulders and leads her away from the carnage.
DIRK
Guess I’ll have to do the looking for the both of us.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:31 am
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
Minimal lighting, shadows everywhere.
One of the SHADOWs detaches from a display case labeled, “AIR From Around The World”.
Silently, the Shadow glides to a set of double-doors. A sign above reads-
“THE PROSAIC PAGEANT”
The doors BOOM open, spilling light over the Shadow, exposing it as-
BRICKHOUSE (O.S.)
Bromide!
BRICKHOUSE, (30s), a TEN FOOT bundle of flexing muscles in red spandex , steps out the doors. He holds the Quotidian Staff, shaking it at
BROMIDE (40s), cheap suit, cheap haircut, cheap smile.
BROMIDE
Brick, I--
Brickhouse slams the staff into the floor and the building QUAKES.
Plaster dust and ceiling tiles rain down.
Brickhouse smiles, caresses the Staff.
BROMIDE
Compensating?
Roaring, Brickhouse brings the Staff back for a wild swing--
BROMIDE
If I may?
Brickhouse falters. Lowers the staff. Suspicious.
BRICKHOUSE
It’s my Staff, Bromide. I got it, first.
Bromide takes a step closer, raising his jacket -- no guns.
BROMIDE
Hey. No superpowers, remember? You da man, Brick.
Brickhouse lowers the staff, leans on it.
Raises his eyebrows.
BROMIDE
Right. The Boss wants the Quotidian Staff. And he--
Brickhouse grabs him, lifts him into the air, ready to strike. Bromide raises a finger.
BROMIDE
Ah-ah. I never said, “nothing up my sleeve”.
A black box drops from his other sleeve. Bromide holds it against Brickhouse’s arm.
BLUE SPARKS, Brickhouse spasms and gibbers, falls to the floor.
Bromide pockets the box, shoots his cuffs, picks up the staff.
Turning to leave, he pauses. Second thought...
He leans the Staff against a display, retrieves the black box and shocks Brickhouse again. Moans, whimpering.
And again. No sounds, this time.
Satisfied, Bromide grabs the staff, walks back the way he’d come.
Silence.
A distant door slams.
BRICKHOUSE (O.S.)
Ow.
Alarms go off.
BRICKHOUSE (O.S.)
Of course.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:36 am
INT. CITY DINER – DAY
A LUNCH CROWD packs the place except for a relatively open area at the counter around an UNSHAVEN MAN. This is GUNDERSON, 35, obviously athletic underneath a torn flannel shirt and stained Bears hat.
Behind the counter, an overworked WAITRESS sets five plates of waffles, pancakes, and eggs in front of Gunderson. He remains fixated on a TV in the corner.
WAITRESS
That all today? You going on a diet?
GUNDERSON
(eyes on TV)
I’m a little short of cash.
An EXPLOSION in the distance. The noise from the crowd dies down until only the voice of the TV announcer is heard. The diner SHAKES briefly, rattling glasses and silverware.
Gunderson leans toward the TV, inadvertantly pressing his shirt into a plate of eggs.
GUNDERSON’S P.O.V. -- On TV, a quarterback scrambles away from the rush and heaves a pass deep into the end zone.
SIRENS in the distance. The diner SHAKES repeatedly. A woman shrieks. Everyone in the diner except Gunderson sees BRICKHOUSE, ten feet tall and almost as wide, stampede past the diner windows.
The TV picture breaks up into static.
GUNDERSON
What the --
Gunderson leaps across the counter in one fluid motion and adjusts TV knobs. He smacks the box on the side. Finally, he looks out the diner window and spots a BROKEN CABLE dangling from a pole.
Gunderson runs through the diner, past the crowd trying to see the action down the street.
EXT. CITY DINER – DAY
Gunderson grabs the broken cable and climbs a wooden pole as if he were part fly.
GUNDERSON
Come on!
He pushes the torn end of the cable into a socket and swings his head down, squinting toward the TV set in the diner. Victory. The game’s back on.
GUNFIRE in the distance. EXPLOSIONS. Gunderson hangs from the pole, watching the TV through the window. The pole and ground shakes from approaching footsteps.
Brickhouse runs past and gets tangled in the cable. Gunderson hangs on, hooking his legs around the pole. The pole bends, wood creaking. The cable SNAPS.
Gunderson grits his teeth and watches Brickhouse run toward a domed building in the distance. A banner above the building entrance proclaims: CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES. Smoke wafts from a giant hole in the side of the museum.
GUNDERSON
Hey Outhouse!
Brickhouse stops in mid-stride. He turns. His voice is like gravel.
BRICKHOUSE
Brick-house.
Gunderson notices a HEFTY METALLIC STAFF in one of Brickhouse’s meaty hands. He points at it.
GUNDERSON
Regular toothpicks won’t work in your big mouth?
Brickhouse sprints toward Gunderson. He swings the staff and CRACKS the pole in two. Gunderson somersaults over the giant.
EXT. ROOFTOP – DAY
Three SWAT OFFICERS in body armor run through the door and take positions along the edge of the building. JOHNSON, 35, raises his rifle and peers through the sniper scope.
JOHNSON’S POV -- Through the crosshairs, he sees Gunderson acrobatically eluding a flurry of punches by the mammoth Brickhouse. Johnson adjusts his sights until Gunderson’s face is visible.
JOHNSON
Couldn’t be.
EXT. DINER – DAY
Brickhouse stabs the staff into the sidewalk and slams his fist into the pavement. Gunderson leaps over a SHOCK WAVE OF ERUPTING CONCRETE as it streams toward the diner. The diner windows SHATTER. SCREAMS.
Gunderson launches himself onto the vertical staff and spins like a gymnast on parallel bars. He kicks Brickhouse in the face. Brickhouse staggers back.
Gunderson lands and rips the staff from the pavement. He swings it back and forth, faster and faster, until the staff and his arms are a blur.
CRACK. Brickhouse’s head snaps back.
CRACK. Brickhouse flinches and guards his left ribs.
Gunderson steps in.
CRACK. CRACK. Brickhouse reels backwards, flailing, and falls through the broken diner window. SCREAMS. The diner crowd shrink back.
Gunderson connects again and again. Brickhouse’s head bobs from the brutal beating. Cuts appear on his face.
A SHOT rings out, splintering wood above Gunderson’s head.
Gunderson swivels and sees a SWAT team on the roof above. He halts the staff in mid-air, pointing straight at an unconscious, bloody Brickhouse.
Gunderson looks at the crowd. They all stare, horrified, not at Brickhouse, but at him. The waitress holds a hand over her mouth. Gunderson drops the staff on the ground and walks away.
July 23rd, 2009 at 1:52 am
EXT. BACK ALLEY BEHIND THE MUSEUM – NIGHT
An ALARM WAILS.
BRICKHOUSE double-times it away from the museum, brushing broken glass and grey dust from his trench coat. A long METAL CASE is tucked under a beer keg arm.
A young GIRL wearing a TEDDY BEAR on her back shadows him from a distance.
Brickhouse looks back, notices the girl.
BRICKHOUSE
Scram.
She hesitates for a moment, then continues as he turns a corner.
EXT. SEEDY STREET -- CONTINUOUS
The girl catches up.
THE GIRL
Stop. Please. We can pay you for it. My father has lots of money.
BRICKHOUSE
Not as much as I’m going to have.
She runs in front of Brickhouse and blocks his path.
THE GIRL
But you know my dad is going to die without it.
BRICKHOUSE
That’s not my problem.
Brickhouse resumes walking and the girl tries to grab the case from his hand while biting his wrist.
He shoves her to the ground.
Just then, the TEDDY BEAR on the girl’s back activates: eyes glowing, it detaches itself and runs nimbly up Brickhouse’s back.
BRICKHOUSE
What the...?
Tiny fists rain down on Brick’s head. He tries to catch the bear but it moves about his body too quickly.
Brickhouse flails about in anger, finally gets it in both hands
when the bear opens its mouth wide and sprays something in his face.
The bear is thrown away as Brick wipes at his eyes and BELLOWS in pain.
The bear scrambles back to the girl and takes her hand.
TEDDY BEAR
Come with me to a safe place. Law enforcement has been notified.
Ignoring him, the girl grabs the case and starts to run.
Brickhouse recovers and stomps the bear with his boot.
Noticing his prize is getting away, he gives chase.
BRICKHOUSE
I ain’t never hurt a kid before but your pushing it.
He yanks the case from her arms, picks her up by the scruff of her neck and places her in a nearby bicycle rack.
Grabbing both ends, he twists the metal like two arms around the girl. He takes the case and is on his way.
The girl hangs her head and sobs, defeated.
Then, anger flashes on her wet face.
She closes her eyes and strains, concentrating with all her might...
The bicycle rack groans and starts to bend open.
Surprised at her newfound power, she laughs.
THE GIRL
I did it. I have powers too.
EXT. – EMBARCADERO -- CONTINUOUS
Brickhouse makes his way toward the bay,
his coat billowing behind him.
THE GIRL (O.S.)
Hey butt stench.
Brickhouse turns around just in time to catch a cement
park bench in the kisser.
THE GIRL
Yeah!
Brick SCREAMS as blood streams between the fingers
covering his face.
Once again, the girl has possession of the case.
Brickhouse starts towards her and picks up speed into a full on charge.
The girl runs into a PARKING LOT, dodging between CARS,
trying to find a place to hide.
Brickhouse knocks into the cars like a rhino, pushing them
into each other and tearing off side mirrors.
BRICKHOUSE
Where are you brat? Come out and play.
As Brickhouse nears the center of the lot,
the cars begin to move toward him like he
was a magnet.
He is pinned as the cars crunch and buckle,
forming a mini-mountain of steel until his
body is no longer visible.
The girl runs toward the street, tries to
flag down a passing car. Cars swerve and
speed away instead.
She stops cold when she hears an UNGODLY SOUND.
Turning around she sees the pile of cars shift
and then EXPLODE, sending them flying.
Leaping and bounding, Brickhouse catches up
to the girl.
He pounces on her and holds her to the ground
as he raises a huge fist.
He stops and looks into her face.
BRICKHOUSE
Just a kid. You can have it. For now.
He lets her go and runs for the the PIER.
A HELICOPTER hovers at the end. Brickhouse grabs on
to a strut and it carries him off.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:02 am
John,
Couple quick things. First, thanks for your time. Reading everyone’s entries (mine especially-brevity was not my muse today, and I apologize for that) takes a ton of time and patience, so whether you love or hate this, I just wanted to say that I appreciate the enormous amount of energy you must put into an enterprise like this.
Second, I envisioned this actually as the opening sequence of a movie, so that’s why it ends with a funky transition to the Opening Credits.
FADE IN:
A FLAT-SCREEN TELEVISION FLASHES TO LIFE.
It’s the news. A white, middle-aged blond with a grave face reports from a newsroom desk. A GRAPHIC in the lower left lists her name as TAMMY WINSLOW.TAMMY
... in, breaking news at this hour. The Museum of Ubiquities in Imotakan Plaza is under siege. A city-wide alert has been issued for all heroes-
Suddenly, the channel flips, and Tammy’s image flicks away as a new reporter takes her place. This time, it’s a white, middle-aged man with graying temples. His name GRAPHIC is on the right of the screen, and it is, appropriately enough, TOM TEMPLETON.TOM
... to repel the invaders, which, once again, witnesses are reporting, are a cabal of giant-
The channel shifts once more. Now it’s a bald, portly white newscaster with a bow-tie. His GRAPHIC reads “DONNIE JAMES LIVE” in bold block letters.DONNIE JAMES
... monkeys! Perhaps, although this is unconfirmed folks, even orangutans. They are apparently being led by a large gorilla who calls himself GENERAL BRICKHOUSE!
And now AERIAL FOOTAGE of a CADRE of supersized APES rolls behind Donnie James. There’s at least EIGHT in total, and the largest one has silver fur covering his body, a scarlet red cape draped on his back and a matching beret tilted on his head.
In one hand, the General is holding a GOLDEN ROD with an ornate set of jewels on one end-but it looks like a toothpick in his grasp.
He snarls in the direction of the camera, and the footage freezes.
And now we pull back from the Television to reveal:INT. ELECTRONICS BOX STORE – DAY
We’re in a consumer electronics store. Think Best Buy with different colors. There is one lone customer standing in front of the television, holding a remote control.
His name is LONNIE KAZDAN, and he is a thirty-year-old man in a very GREEN SUIT. Well, more of a COSTUME, really, and it’s made from some unidentifiable material that must sit somewhere between spandex and latex on the uncomfortable fabric food chain.
Over his costume, Lonnie has draped a rather loose-fitting brown Trench Coat, which he’s topped off with a matching Fedora.LONNIE (V.O.)
This shit should be a young man’s game.DONNIE JAMES (ON TV)
... fifteen stories places it among the world’s ten tallest museums. The Museum of Ubiquities was set to display the Staff of Juno, which I’m being told, dates back to Ancient Egypt and their Goddess of Fertility...
Lonnie presses another button on the remote, but nothing happens. He shakes it, but still gets no response.LONNIE
Dammit.
As he fiddles with that, we see why he’s all alone in front of the DISPLAY TELEVISION. The entire rest of the store, both WORKERS and CUSTOMERS, are huddled twenty paces behind Lonnie in the glass entranceway, staring across the street.
Because the goddamn Museum of Ubiguities is right across the street, not more than a couple hundred yards away.LONNIE (V.O.)
I’m ninety-fucking-three. Sure, I don’t look it. But with invulnerability, you tend to age veeerrry slowly.
As Lonnie scratches his head trying to figure out the remote, a young CLERK looks back from the VESTIBULE and notices Lonnie’s costume. He runs up to him.CLERK
Hey... mister! Aren’t... aren’t you supposed to be over there?
Lonnie turns around. He holds up a newspaper flyer with the store’s LOGO on the front.LONNIE
Today’s the last day on your sale.
The Clerk blinks for a moment, unsure how to respond.CLERK
But... but they’re destroying the museum! Aren’t you supposed to, y’know... stop them?
Behind Lonnie, more footage is rolling on the television. TWO SUPERHEROES in capes and colored spandex have flown to the top of the museum, and fisticuffs have broken out.LONNIE
Listen, kid, I’m not the only hero in town. It’s just a bunch of giant Chimps. Let ‘em fling poo at some other poor bastard.
At this point, several other customers have turned their attention to Lonnie as well.CLERK
But... the city pays you to help.
Lonnie looks past the clerk at the throng of people in the Vestibule. A young BOY with eyes as wide as saucers stares back at him. The kid smiles at Lonnie, like he’s never seen a superhero this close before.
Lonnie sighs.LONNIE (V.O.)
This... is why I hate kids.
He looks back at the Clerk.LONNIE
You guys offer rain checks?
The Clerk stares slack-jawed at Lonnie for a moment. Then he reaches into a pocket and produces a small piece of CARBON PAPER, which he signs quickly, tears, and hand to Lonnie.
Lonnie shoves it into one of his jacket pockets, then walks to the vestibule where he locks eyes with the youngster who was staring at him.LONNIE (CONT’D)
Hey kid.
He takes off his fedora and places it on the young boy’s head, then drops his jacket.LONNIE
Watch my hat.EXT. IMOTAKAN PLAZA – DAY
Imotakan plaza is a Japanese-themed public square that sits directly in front of the fifteen-story Museum of Ubiquities. Instead of its normal serene nature, however, chaos and panic run through the plaza like a Michael Bay-produced free-for-all.
CROWDS of people sprint in every conceivable direction as shards of marble and glass pepper the concrete and wooden decks of the plaza.
Lonnie looks up at the roof. Three more flying HEROES have zoomed into the fight.LONNIE (V.O.)
Technically, the kid was right. As part of our paid contractual agreement to operate in the city, we’re required to intervene in situations like this.
Lonnie looks around. One PEDESTRIAN is standing about thirty paces away, in the middle of the plaza, looking up at the roof.LONNIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
But I find that if I arrive just a little bit late, I usually end up controlling crowds instead of getting my face caved in. Cuz the funny thing about being invulnerable is that while I’m physically impervious to harm, my nerves still work just fine, so I FEEL every punch and kick.
Lonnie waves at the distracted PEDESTRIAN.LONNIE
Sir! I need you to vacate this area immediately.
No response, so Lonnie starts walking towards the man.LONNIE (V.O.)
But the real suck part is, I can’t die. Did I mention I’m ninety-three? Everyone I know, friends and family, is either dead or hoping to be soon. I can’t join them. Maybe I never will.
Twenty paces now. A large chunk of marble and plaster lands within feet of the man, but he’s still transfixed by the rooftop battle.
And now Lonnie sees why-the man is recording the whole thing with his cell phone.LONNIE
Oh for God’s sake.
Lonnie dodges more fleeing people as he trudges closer.LONNIE (V.O.)
So I have this recurring dream, where I’m outside, basking in the sunlight.
Indeed, the sun is shining down in the middle of Imotakan Plaza, while the clueless jerk just keeps filming the fight with his phone.LONNIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And I realize that’s it’s finally time to go. And I’m ready. Oh God, how I’m ready.INT. ELECTRONICS BOX STORE – CONTINUOUS
Some of the CUSTOMERS and the CLERK have moved over to the television Lonnie was messing with. Donnie James is still broadcasting.
DONNIE JAMES (ON TV)
... Actually a power staff of some kind, and has nothing to do with fertil-oh, my! Breaker and Captain Fairplay have arrived and-DONNIE JAMES (ON TV) (CONT’D)
-engaged the Gorilla General-oh no!
Brickhouse swings his ill-gotten staff at Fairplay, who dodges, and Breaker comes Brickhouse with a full haymaker-and connects!
One problem: Breaker’s hit Brickhouse so hard that the gorilla is thrown off the roof.
The Clerk and the other customers gasp.EXT. IMOTAKAN PLAZA – CONTINUOUS
A WOMAN some distance behind Lonnie points up at the slugfest and screams.
But Lonnie is focused only on getting to the idiot videotaping everything.LONNIE (V.O.)
Then I look up, and there she is, blotting out the sun.
Lonnie’s only about 10 feet away now. It’s just him and the guy he’s trying to save and, just like in Lonnie’s dream, everything is getting darker. Like an eclipse.
Lonnie closes the distance and pushes with all his might against the guy with the cell phone, who goes flying more than a dozen feet in the opposite direction.
Lonnie looks up. The dark blob blotting out the sun comes into focus as a ragged, black robe forms around the pale face of a beautiful woman.
And there she is.LONNIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
The Angel of Death.
Lonnie closes his eyes, and a small breeze rolls across his face. He smile.LONNIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
I’m not scared. Because I’m finally going home.
Lonnie sighs once more, and opens his eyes. The plaza around him darkens even more, but the vision of the Angel shimmers away.LONNIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Then I wake up, and I realize that I’m not going anywhere. And that my friends have gone without me.
In its place is the unimaginably large General Brickhouse, and he and his stolen staff are falling towards Lonnie at a ridiculously fast rate.LONNIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And that this is going to hurt like a mother-
Lonnie’s voiceover is obliterated by the violent arrival of the giant ape. Brickhouse smacks Lonnie with a massively loud rumble that would put most earthquakes to shame.
The pavement underneath them ripples like water, a water main ruptures and bursts and dust and debris explode into giant clouds of smoke.
The sheer noise of the chaos soon turns into the high scream of sirens as-EXT. FISSURE IN THE MIDDLE OF IMOTAKAN PLAZA – DAY
DOZENS of RESCUE WORKERS have arrived at the scene.
A gigantic crane hoists the prone, unconscious body of General Brickhouse and sets him into an oversized DUMP TRUCK that has just pulled up.
A BURLY FIREFIGHTER with a mask kneels near the edge of the fissure to get a better look inside with a FLASHLIGHT.
The beam cuts through some of the airborne clutter, and the Firefighter uncovers a broken sewer pipe, a bent gas line... and Lonnie’s body, his skin ash white and covered in dust, the stolen staff pristine across his chest.FIREFIGHTER #1
Hey, we got a body down here!
Several more FIREMEN huddle around the first.FIREFIGHTER #2
What a way to go.
Suddenly, Lonnie’s eyes pop open, and he coughs up a tornado of dust.LONNIE
Tell me about it.FIREFIGHTER #1
Jesus, he’s still alive down there!
He pops up and shouts back to the other rescue workers.FIREFIGHTER #1 (CONT’D)
I need a medic!
As some PARAMEDICS scurry over, down in the fissure, Lonnie begins to laugh. Softly at first, but soon he can’t help himself.LONNIE (V.O.)
Hey... it’s a living.
FADE TO OPENING CREDITS:
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:02 am
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES-- HALL OF THEOLOGICAL OMNIPRESENCE-- DAY
HENCHMEN flood the massive space; assault rifles, howitzers, and automatics all blazing.
Empty rounds EXPLODE toward the ceiling.
SCHOOLCHILDREN shriek. MUSEUM GOERS scatter in all directions. The chaos of a big opening reception has just reached a whole new level.
From the mayhem emerges BRIK HAUS, a burly, grotesque monster of a man. Almost 7 feet high with long, blond hair greasily slicked back. He is gracefully unarmed and speaks with a ragged German accent.
BRIK HAUS
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
His massive boot SLAMS through a display case. Glass SHATTERS, spraying the room.
An alarm WAILS. Red lights flash in the ajoining hallways.
He snatches a long, gnarled unassuming staff from the case. And throws it theatrically across the room.
A MAN lingers near the back wall surveying the situation. A name tag on his chest reads HACK WORTHINGTON-- currator.
BRIK HAUS
What a nice crowd we have.
Hack watches as the staff bounces off the floor. A flash of light brightens the small blue gemstone lodged in its end.
His eyes reflect that same flash. Understanding.
Brik Haus circles the room. He HISSES wildly at a SMALL CHILD. A wad of spit lands on the child’s innocent face.
No one moves.
Suddenly:
Hack lauches his lanky, but fit body across the room.
He does a haphazard roll across the floor.
The staff lands in his open palm.
Brik Haus whips around.
Cocked guns share the same target.
Hack FREEZES.
BRIK HAUS
You. You think you’re a hero? You’ll work just fine.
A massive hand grabs Hack by the neck and pulls him upright.
His hand still grasps the staff.
SIRENS WAIL outside.
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES-- CONTINUOUS
Squad cars surround the building. OFFICERS emerge, weapons drawn.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES-- CHAMBER OF INTERGALACTIC SECRETS-- DAY
Brik’s fingers tighten around Hack’s throat. His nails are yellow, cracked, and filed to sharp points.
BRIK HAUS
(to the room)
You’re all mine. You’re mine until I see enough money to think otherwise. And I don’t want any heroes.
He lifts Hack:
feet dangling.
And launches him across the room.
CRASH!
He slams into wall, glass shelves and artifacts raining down.
But the staff is still in his hand.
He stands quickly.
A flick of the wrist.
And it works!!
Suddenly glass and artifacts fly across the room.
Precision and speed.
They shower on Brik and his henchmen.
CLIPS UNLOAD.
Hack dodges and hurls himself in the hallway.
Brik Haus bounds after, SMASHING display cases along the way.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES-- HALL OF THEOLOGICAL OMNIPRESENCE-- DAY
Hack scurries into the room.
He crouches behind a large display of JUPITER, it’s moons rotating.
Brik clammers in after him. Two henchmen in tow.
Armed and ready, the henchmen survey the room.
Hack jumps:
Straight... up, up, up:
He’s never jumped like this before.
He’s standing precariously on model of a star, far above the floor below. It spins across the room on its orbit. A solar system circles around him.
Hot lead SPUTTERS, but never lands.
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- CONTINUOUS
The SOUND OF GUNFIRE echos outside. Police inch towards the building in the ready position.
A SWAT van screeches into the lot.
SWAT OFFICERS flood out, like sardines from a can; hazard shields raised.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES-- CHAMBER OF INTERGALACTIC SECRETS-- DAY
Brik jams a giant hand into a metal contraption, bending steel.
The rotating model comes to a SCREECHING HALT.
Brik clambers.
He climbs.
His muscular arms strain.
And he leaps.
Hack’s feet give way as Brik lands on the model star.
The whole contraption RATTLES beneath the weight.
And Hack slips.
One hand graps the model. The other the staff.
Somehow he holds tight.
Brik’s giant hands wrap around Hack’s throat.
He lifts him high in the air.
He plucks the staff from Hack’s hands.
An AGONIZING SCREAM errupts from his knurly lips. His body contorts and grows. His size doubles, triples. A true monster.
The metal CREAKS and MOANS.
Hack is done for. Brik’s hand is tightening. His eyes bulging. He’s about to pop.
And SNAP:
The solar system collapses! Hurtling towards the hard ground. It’s supports SNAP into place. It catches, perilously a few dozen feet from the ground.
It’s just enough time. Hack regains his footing.
Then, A BLOW!
The monster whips the staff into his mid-section. THUNK!
On impact his eyes flash the brightest blue. The small gemstone flashes back.
He staggers back
and plummets toward the ground.
An invisible field stops him inches from impact. Brik holds the staff above him and whips his body viciously from side to side with the simple flick of a the wrist. A cat with a mouse.
BRIK HAUS
This stick is quite impressive.
HACK WORTHINGTON
But-- it’s not yours.
Hack’s face is flushed, strained, concentrated. His piercing blue eyes shimmer. He stares right at the staff.
A flash of blinding blue.
It breaks free
of Brik’s grasp.
Hack pancakes on the floor. An agonizing CRUNCH.
The staff lands with a CLANK beside him. Bouncing.
The blue stone dislodges and rolls past his head.
He manages to snatch it in his weak palm.
Brik Haus jumps from the star and land perfectly, knees bent.
He towers over Hack.
BRIK HAUS
I said I didn’t want any heros.
A massive foot lands on Hack’s chest.
He struggles to breath.
Brik’s gargantuan hand swipes the staff from the ground.
CRACK!
It bounces of Hack’s skull. Blood flows freely.
CRACK!
Henchmen cackle wildly, watching Hack splayed on the floor.
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- CONTINUOUS
SWAT team members hurtle up the steps of the museum. The stand, pregnant with anticipation-- listening.
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES-- CHAMBER OF INTERGALACTIC SECRETS-- DAY
Hack’s arm juts above his face.
Blinding blue light!
Brik is lifted in the air, body contorted. The blue stone is snug between Hack’s fingers.
With a flick of the wrist--
Brik is tossed like a rag doll and SMASHES into a model of the planet Mars. Plaster and debris smatter the air.
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- CONTINUOUS
A shoulder smashes into the door, sending it flying open.
Hazard shields and automatic weapons press into the building...
INT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES-- CHAMBER OF INTERGALACTIC SECRETS-- DAY
Hack flicks the stone side to side and Brik’s henchmen crumble in a heap of pain.
Positions suddenly reversed, he towers over his advesary. The stone held triumphantly overhead.
HACK WORTHINGTON
The stick is dandy, lad. But it ain’t nothin’ without the stone.
He flips his wrist once more--
And with a deafening THUNK a devastating blow is dealt to Brik’s head. His blond hair haggard and covering his hideous face.
WHAP! Brik’s face flys the other direction. Blood trickles from his parted mouth.
Brik lifts from the dusty ground and flies into the wall, limbs sprawled. His face is red, contorted, bloated. As if held by the neck.
His mouth twists and turns, forming screams that cannot be heard.
He crumbles into a giant heap of muscle and flesh upon the floor.
HACK WORTHINGTON
There’s some things you just don’t understand.
THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS echo down the hallway.
A dozen SWAT members scurry into the room, dazed.
They OPEN FIRE on two henchmen that intersect them.
Hack, amid the commotion, snatches the staff from the ground and pushes the blue stone back in place.
He slides among the maze of shields and guns
and quietly slips out the door of the museum
staff in hand,
a new man.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:25 am
INT. CHICAGO MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
It looks like a bomb went off. The walls are rubble. The power is out. Sparks crackle from twisted wires like bonsai fireworks. In the distance, a low RUMBLING.
AEGIR sprints through the pools of water covering the cement floor of the hallways, flooding the shattered remnants of priceless art. His large, muscled body is tensed like the hammer of a gun. The hall opens into a large room.
The destruction climaxes in this room: a collection of Norse artifacts. At it’s center: a shattered glass case with a metal staff on display. The staff, once imposingly sharp and beautiful, is now distorted and mangled.
Aegir looks around in panic. For the first time in his life, his eyes show fear.
AEGIR
VALERIE!
VALERIE emerges from the shadows. A little dust doesn’t deter from her shocking beauty in the slightest.
VALERIE
Aegir!
Her embrace blankets him with relief.
VALERIE
I’m so sorry.
AEGIR
You’re safe, that’s what’s important.
VALERIE
You don’t understand, he took it. Brickhouse took the staff.
Aegir kisses her forehead, his iron confidence returned.
AEGIR
Wait until he finds out he went through this much trouble for a decoy.
Aegir picks up the mangled metal staff.
AEGIR (CONT’D)
So much for your idea of hiding it in plain sight.
VALERIE
You don’t understand. He got your staff.
Aegir looks to an intact steel door on the other side of the room.
AEGIR
He didn’t break into the vault, how could he even know it was in there? The only people who knew are me and... and you.
Aegir drops his hands from her side, realization seeping in.
VALERIE
Now you’ll be normal. Now we can leave.
AEGIR
I’m the one leaving.
Aegir turns his back on her.
VALERIE
I did it for us.
AEGIR
And you doomed the whole city.
He heads out the way he came.
EXT. CHICAGO MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES
The low rumbling is much louder now. A cop car ZIPS by Aegir, SIREN BLARING. The demolition trail leads down the street. It looks like an earthquake hit dead center.
It’s all leading toward the Willis Tower. The structure rises into the sky like a megalith. It’s surrounded by helicopters.
Aegir takes off towards it at a dead sprint.
As he picks up speed, he’s surrounded by an eerie blue glow. He’s growing. The legs that pound into the pavement expand, the arms that cut through the air swell to the size of tree trunks.
He is enormous. He glows blue. He passes the cop car.
EXT. WILLIS TOWER
Chaos.
Vehicles, mostly police cars and swat vans lay strewn about in heaps. Several are on fire, shining an orange light on the surviving OFFICERS who are hiding behind anything they can find.
The rumbling is deafening, because the cause is here: a giant red hand SLAMS into the Willis tower. The enormous building shudders. It can’t take much more abuse.
BRICKHOUSE’S red hand rears back. He’s more material than man. He’s more monster than material. A walking house of terror.
Only the one hand strikes at a support beam of the tower, sending another JOLT through the city. His other hand grips the staff, this one real, and as yet undamaged.
It glows blue. Brighter and brighter.
A FLASH of blue light, and Aegir TORPEDOES into Brickhouse. They EXPLODE into the tower. It moans and sways.
Aegir is on his feet first. He has grown exponentially in size and strength, but he’s still dwarfed by Brickhouse. He looks to see the staff has been knocked away.
The look was all the time Brickhouse needed. The titanic block of a hand ROCKETS Aegir back into the street. He turns toward the staff, but Aegir is already coming back for more.
They charge into each other, meeting just outside the hull of the Willis Tower.
They trade earth-shattering punches.
Brickhouse is more powerful, but Aegir get’s more in, deftly avoiding the worst of Brickhouse’s attacks.
He’s winning.
With each blow, red dust explodes from Brickhouse’s body. It clouds Aegir’s vision. It gets in his lungs.
Brickhouse lets loose two wild swings. One misses and crushes a street lamp. The other connects to the side of Aegir’s head.
He’s on his knees, coughing, trying to blink away the cloud of red dust.
Brickhouse’s mitts clamp onto Aegir’s throat and arm. He leans in close, squeezing.
BRICKHOUSE
The end of an era.
He SWINGS Aegir around and let’s him loose, TEARING back into the suffering landmark. The tower TREMBLES.
Brickhouse marches in.
Aegir scrambles for the staff, but Brickhouse kicks him away.
Brickhouse grabs the glowing blue staff and SMASHES it into a pillar of the tower. The pillar ERUPTS. The staff is bent. The glow fades.
Aegir’s blue aura diminishes as well. He staggers with pain toward Brickhouse, shrinking. His punches land, but the damage to Brickhouse’s midsection aren’t as mighty as before.
Brickhouse kicks a concrete slab of wall at Aegir, pinning him under it.
Another powerful THWACK to a pillar with the staff. The tower BUCKLES.
Aegir, his glow and size receded even more, looks to the damage the building has endured. It won’t be long before the whole thing comes down. He struggles in an attempt to move the slab.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Do you know how much a structure like this can endure? I do. Don’t worry, I’ll let you stay for the fall.
Brickhouse moves to strike the building again. Aegir drags himself out from under the slab. He bolts toward the street. Brickhouse knocks another beam out with the staff before he realizes Aegir’s escape.
The building shakes. Concrete and steel crumbles down. Brickhouse moves to follow, trailing behind.
With his last remaining strength and momentum, Aegir BARRELS into two load-bearing pillars on his way out. They crack and fall.
He collapses into the street, desperately dragging himself as far as he can away while the tallest building in the United States finally dies.
Brickhouse doesn’t make it out in time. One hundred and eight floors collapse on the creature, first pinning, then crushing him.
A plume of red dust mixes with the gray.
THREE POLICE OFFICERS pull Aegir’s limp, unconscious body to safety.
The blue glow is gone.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 am
I like robots.
EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
A FLAMING ANIMATRONIC BRONTOSAURAS comes flying out the top of the museum, and goes crashing down on top of the street below. The SWAT TEAM advancing on the museum falls back behind the barricade of police vehicles separating the museum from the street.
All officers on the scene, SWAT or otherwise, open fire with everything they’ve got as
A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT
comes smashing through the front of the museum.
The robot’s six tentacle arms flail about as its four massive red eyes scan the area. It looks like a giant, evil version of the robot from “Lost in Space.” It lets loose a monstrous robotic SCREAM--a sound resembling a cross between a lion’s roar and a Stephan Hawking talking.
The gun fire from the officers has the robot’s attention. It counter attacks by swatting at the officers, forcing the officers to regroup and attack from a different angle.
A BLACK BMW past the commotion and stops behind the SWAT truck. JIMMY, 28, a nerdy looking kid in round rimless glasses, drives the car, with LEILANI, 23, a gum-chewing knockout with her high-heeled feet hanging out the open car window, sitting in the passenger’s seat.
As they get out of the car the POLICE CAPTAIN rushes to Leilani. She spits out her gum.
LEILANI
Got a problem?
The robot lets out another scream.
The captain motions for her to follow him to a make shift command center--the hood of his police car--by the SWAT truck.
CAPTAIN
We got reports that thing stormed into the museum at twenty-two hundred hours, killed everything in its path, and shoved some artifact into a compartment in its chest. We haven’t been able to confirm what was stolen, but we think...
LEILANI
Nifty, but what is it?
On cue, a squirrelly scientist, DR. BORK, 50, steps up.
BORK
I can answer that question. I’m sad to report that I am its creator. Funny story actually, you see I was contacted by a mister...
LEILANI
I don’t care.
(looks to the captain)
Is this guy for real?
CAPTAIN
Unfortunately.
BORK
I’ll have you know, miss, that I have not one, but two Langington Excellence Awards.
LEILANI
I don’t know what those are.
BORK
They--
LEILANI
Just tell me what that thing is.
BORK
A bio resonant integrated circuit kerosene hex-oxy-uridine sentient entity. Or BRICKHOUSE.
LEILANI
You’re a big Commodores fan, I take it.
BORK
Pardon?
BRICKHOUSE smashes a police car in half, causing it to EXPLODE. The group takes cover.
LEILANI
How strong is that thing?
BORK
I wasn’t able to accurately measure its strength before I lost control of it. I only have projections with which to estimate its capabilities.
LEILANI
So estimate.
BORK
I don’t know. I’d say he’s strong enough to throw either cars or entire skyscrapers.
LEILANI
Could you be more specific?
BORK
Um... I’d say either hatchbacks or the Chrysler Building.
Christ.
LEILANI
Captain, have your men hold fire. I’m going to engage it.
CAPTAIN
(into walkie-talkie)
Hold fire, Leilani is on approach. I repeat, Leilani is on approach.
The police hold fire. BRICKHOUSE pauses for a moment, and then begins to move off, no longer distracted by the police.
CAPTAIN (CONT’D)
You’re up.
With lightning speed, Leilani jumps the barricade and runs up behind BRICKHOUSE.
LEILANI
Hey, assface!
BRICKHOUSE turns back towards her. Its giant red eyes lock on Leilani, tightening their focus in robo-rage.
Leilani looks back to Dr. Bork.
LEILANI (CONT’D)
You built a robot that responds to ‘assface’?
THWACK! One of BRICKHOUSE’s tentacles SMASHES into Leilani’s side, sending her FLYING through the air.
Her body CRASHES into the side of the SWAT truck, crumbling it like tissue paper, and knocking it back straight into the row of buildings behind it.
Leilani’s body lies in the rubble destroyed, covered in blood, torn apart by the bones in her neck and legs protruding out of her skin.
The police officers immediate resume firing on BRICKHOUSE, reigniting the conflict.
Bork stares, horrified, at Leilani’s corpse. Suddenly her eyes open. He SCREAMS like a girl.
Leilani stretches out as she rises, like a cat just waking up, and her broken bones slip back under her skin and reset in their proper positions. Her blood oozes back into the wounds it oozed out of, closing her wounds behind it. She’s on her feet, and back in perfect shape, completely healed.
Dr. Bork is speechless.
LEILANI (CONT’D)
(to Dr. Bork)
Definitely the Chrysler Building.
CAPTAIN
Now what?
Leilani calls over to Jimmy, who’s still by their car.
LEILANI
Jimmy, get me the chainsaw. It’s going to be a long night...
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:41 am
I was really dying to make some joke about the silliness inherent in “city museum of ubiquities” but I couldn’t come up with anything. I was like, what, does it just have common items that are available everywhere? Is the museum somehow omnipresent? I don’t know. I bet something will hit me as soon as I submit the comment. Enough introduction, thanks if you read it. Now I’m gonna go read some of the others and regret submitting this.
INT. CITY MUSEUM – DAY
Sitting on a bench outside the men’s room, an overweight teenager toys with a wooden staff with bright tribal engravings marking its length. Gently, he smacks it against his open palm, gauging its heft and swing.
This is BRICKHOUSE. His oversized plain white t-shirt does little to disguise his paunch. His round face hangs jowlsily.
YOUNG GIRL (O.S.)
There he is. Over here, sir!
A young girl strides up to him, dragging a boy along. A few years younger, they’re dressed in matching camp t-shirts. Names LILY and JORDAN.
A young security guard follows on their heels.
SECURITY GUARD
Excuse me, young man.
Brickhouse looks up, casually meets his gaze.
SECURITY GUARD
Can you tell me where you got that rain stick?
BRICKHOUSE
This? The gift shop.
He’s expressionless, deadpan, maybe even a little sad. The security guard glances at the girl, who scowls.
LILY
That’s not true! He took it from Jordan-
JORDAN
It’s fine...
LILY
No it isn’t! He took it right out of your bag – while you were PEEING! RIGHT in there. He might have seen your weiner.
JORDAN
I don’t know about that...
Brickhouse rises, Jordan flinches.
BRICKHOUSE
Alright kids, tell your counselor that it was a very funny prank, but you shouldn’t waste people’s time.
He turns and starts to amble off.
LILY
Don’t just let him go!
The guard furrows his brow, unsure who to believe.
SECURITY GUARD
Now, hold on a minute.
BRICKHOUSE
Sorry, can’t. I’m volunteering at the soup kitchen in 20 minutes. But have a good one.
He waves, with the staff. The little girl SEETHES.
LILY
Thanks a LOT, mister adult.
The guard gestures, stammers, and walks back where he came from.
She grabs Jordan by the wrist, stalks off.
LILY
Come on.
EXT. CITY MUSEUM – DAY
Brickhouse casually saunters down the steps, staff swinging by his side.
LILY
HEY FATASS.
He stops, turns.
LILY
You’re not volunteering are ya? You’re just going to go steal their food like you stole Jordan’s rain stick.
Brickhouse sets the staff down, upright, on the step before him.
JORDAN
Lily...
LILY
You’re so fat you’re as big as a house.
He squints up at her, as Jordan squirms.
LILY
When you’re a Sumo wrestler, you can call yourself Brickhouse. How’s that?
BRICKHOUSE
What’s your strategy here?
LILY
Give it back. You stole it.
BRICKHOUSE
Yeah.
LILY
So... give it back!
Without looking, he takes one step down, slightly distancing himself from the staff.
BRICKHOUSE
All yours.
She takes one step down. It’s equidistant from both of them.
He scratches his belly -- she takes the opportunity and lunges, flying down the steps.
He springs forward, quicker than seems possible.
She grabs the staff, and SLAMS into him.
He staggers back, down two steps, doesn’t fall.
As she struggles to her feet, Brickhouse casually plucks the staff out of her hands, turns to leave.
Jordan comes running down the stairs, kneels by her side.
JORDAN
Are you okay??
LILY
I’m... I’ll be fine. Just knocked the wind out of me.
Jordan rises.
JORDAN
Hey! Brickhouse!
Brickhouse stops, purses his lips, tightens his grip.
JORDAN
You can take my rainstick, you tubby jerk. But you gotta apologize to her.
Brickhouse’s sizable waist twists, and like a whip his arm swings round, pitches the staff directly into Jordan’s stomach. OOF.
As Jordan doubles over, Brickhouse sulks away.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:05 am
A MOP
Glides across a varnished wood floor.
ALEJANDRO
The quixotic night janitor, stops working and takes a look over his shoulder.
He rubs his chin in quiet contemplation.
Satisfied, he turns back, dragging the soapy mop toward some unseen object.
He falls to one knee, head bowed.
ALEJANDRO
Dees ees honor me very much ... my Queen.
QUEEN ELIZABETH I
Her wax figure, in coronation regalia, stands before Alejandro.
He places the mop handle on his shoulder.
ALEJANDRO
I knight thee, Sir Alejandro.
Alejandro rises, eyes closed, and walks gracefully away from the ruler of the golden age.
He trips over the mop bucket.
ALEJANDRO
Cabron!
While rubbing his shin, he sees a SPARK emanate from a distant exhibition room.
ARTIFACTS OF THE XIA DYNASTY
A very large man, in a dapper suit, fiddles with an unadorned STAFF in the center of this circular, stone-tiled room.
Alejandro, mop in hand, approaches cautiously.
ALEJANDRO
Excuse ... dees ees private property.
The very large man eyes Alejandro, then points the staff at him.
Alejandro is dragged by an unknown force toward the man.
Stone tiles crumble beneath his feet.
A soapy trail, from the mop, forms alongside the fragmenting floor.
Alejandro is now, literally, face to face with him.
MAN
Reginald Maplethorne, esquire.
A beat.
ALEJANDRO
Breekhouse!
Reginald looks quite dismayed.
REGINALD
So much for civility.
He looks skyward.
AN ELLIPTICAL GLASS DOME
Is the centerpiece of an ornate, undulating ceiling.
Alejandro looks up, gripping the mop tightly.
With one swift motion, Alejandro is propelled through the dome.
His skyward trajectory halts, roughly, twelve feet above the dome.
Upon descent, he uses the mop to straddle two beams to prevent a fall, and imminent death.
He looks like a trapeze artist.
REGINALD
Good show, old man.
Reginald continues fiddling with the staff.
Alejandro pulls himself up and onto a beam. From there, he jumps to the roof.
After a breather, he spots some rope connected to a support frame used for window washing.
He grabs the large coil of rope and stands, perched, by the shattered dome.
Reginald can be seen down below. Vibrant, yet sporadic, sparks burst from the staff.
Alejandro slowly unravels the rope through the dome.
He tucks the mop through his belt, and begins to climb down.
Alejandro doesn’t notice the gradually slipping mop until the last moment.
He reaches, but it falls.
Without thinking, he lets go of the rope and dives head first.
In one fluid backward somersault, he grabs the mop with his left hand and the rope with his right.
Steadying himself, he begins to sway, gaining momentum.
Reginald, oblivious to the motions above him, slams the staff’s tip into the ground.
A SHOCKWAVE erupts, splintering stone and concrete.
The building is heavily damaged, but remains intact.
REGINALD
Hmm ... that’s a right nice bit.
SECURITY DESK
The portly, night watchman is rustled from his slumber.
He lets out a big yawn just as a slab of concrete flattens him.
BACK TO REGINALD
As he tweaks the staff.
Up above, Alejandro has gained some serious swing action.
He lets go of the rope.
ALEJANDRO
Breekhouse!
At, what seems, near-terminal velocity, Alejandro CRACKS the mop handle across Reginald’s skull.
Soaring by, he grabs the staff from his hand and lands with a resounding thud.
Reginald, furious, stalks Alejandro.
With a simple wave of the staff, Reginald is stopped dead in his tracks.
REGINALD
Sweet, Fanny Adams ... the staff of Pangu, creator of the universe, in the hands of a swabbie.
ALEJANDRO
Pan-who?
REGINALD
Pangu ... the wind, the thunder, the sun, the moon ...
ALEJANDRO
Da moon?
With that thought, Alejandro lowers the staff’s tip into the ground.
A blinding spark envelopes him, and, in an instant, he’s gone.
REGINALD
Swear to Christ, I’m gonna chuck a wobbly.
THE MOON
Off in the distance, the Earth looms.
A spark illuminates the lunar surface.
Alejandro materializes, staff in hand.
He looks to his left and sees the Apollo 11 lunar module.
He proceeds to soil himself.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:16 am
Here goes… A snippet for your scrippet. Went a different route with mine. Hopefully a fun ride for all. Michael Bay type eyes/minds NOT permitted. LOL
**The scrippet multiple font displaying issue was bugging me. Couldn’t fix it. Not sure if it’s a bug or what but hopefully the scene submits in a readable format.
INT. DARKNESS – PITCH BLACK
Gruff, battle-proven -- unwaveringly SINISTER.GRUFF MAN (V.O.)
Do you believe in science father?
QUAVERING -- a sincere open-ended response.HOLY MAN (V.O.)
I am a man of faith my son. An agent of God ...
A distinctive HIGH-PITCHED whine. BRR ...GRUFF MAN (V.O.)
I knew someone who trusted in God. It became -- his burden ...FADE TO WHITE:
SUBTITLE: 6/5 B.C. – THE XENO CONFLICT – PLANET SAFRUS
INT. CENTURION DISTRICT -- MUSEO DE UBIQUITIES ANTICO – DAY
CENTURY-OLD DUST sprinkles down. Cavernous ceilings TREMBLE.
OUTSIDE/OVERHEAD: The DIN of a titanic struggle REVERBERATES. Missiles WHISTLING. Explosions RUMBLING. Photons SURGING.
VICEROY X-71 ASSAULT RIFLE clenched tightly, GENERAL BRICKHOUSE (30) -- a brawny, chiseled specimen -- scrambles to the base of a complex CONTROL STATION.
LCDs scroll. Liquid tubes gurgle. Pressurized chambers hiss. A technological MARVEL.
The CENTURION CADUCEUS -- a key-like scepter -- interlocked into the heart console -- PULSES with a strong ENERGY FORCE.
The source of the pulsing power -- a RED ENERGY SHARD embedded in the Caduceus. Two are missing.BRICKHOUSE
(scowling intensity)
Fuuuuuck!
Blasting massive holes in the ceiling. More dust rains down. Chaos ambience from the circling AERIAL ASSAULT rushes in.
Suddenly DISLODGING itself -- the Red Energy Shard springs forth FUSING with one of the three EMPTY pendants around Brickhouse’s thick neck -- GLOWING even more intensely.
Brickhouse is ENTRANCED with mysterious GLOW.
A SCRAMBLING RUSTLE in the far corner -- breaking his concentration. A darting silhouette SCRAMBLES out the front entrance.
Turning quickly -- SNARLING vehemently.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Rikaar.
The Red Energy Shard POINTS the way. Brickhouse BOUNDS forward in pursuit.
Unnoticed in the heat of the moment -- the Centurion Caduceus console begins RETRACTING into the intricate floor.EXT. MUSEO DE UBIQUITIES ANTICO – CONTINUOUS
Badly wounded. PRINCE RIKAAR (27), clambers frantically out of the colossal structure. His Blue Shard GRAVITATES to the Red Shard in pursuit.
An ALL-ENCOMPASSING FORCE FIELD -- cocoons the museum.
Bloods intermixed with sweat -- runs down his grease-smeared cheeks. His G-SUIT crackles from heavy damage. Rikaar summons every last ounce of energy from his lithe but capable frame.RIKAAR
Arrrrrrghhh!
The SILTY RED SAND of a barren DUNE-SCAPE -- unknowingly slowing its CHOSEN SON. Rikaar SURGES forth.
The INTENSE aerial dogfighting RAGES ON overhead. One-by-one annihilated Assault Mechs Soldiers -- friend and foe -- fall from the sky – crashing thunderously in bits and pieces.
Just outside the Force Field -- A colossal crater SMOLDERS -- Rikaar’s Mech already a fallen casualty.
Also nearby -- Brickhouse’s Mech -- still fully intact -- INTRINSICALLY fending off DEBRIS and ATTACKS.
Meanwhile at the museum entrance --BRICKHOUSE
Riiiiiikaar! Where are you going?
The shard points the way -- SUSPENDED. Removing the Red Shard has initiated a TEMPORAL OPENING in the Force Field. Rikaar is headed straight for it. If it closes Brickhouse is trapped inside till the next POWER DOWN CYCLE. It already CLOSING --BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Shit. Clever boy ...
Sprinting full bore -- he give chase. Both Shards STRETCH towards each other -- only the pendants hold them back.
Not gaining quickly enough. PLAN B. Firing a wild shot -- he misses. A second half-charged blast -- finds its mark -- spinning Rikaar around on his feet.RIKAAR
Arrrrrghhh!
Stumbling backwards towards the Temporal Opening -- a third blast connects with Rikaar’s gut. Severely wounded, the force of the blast pushes him through -- inches from the Force Field wall.
The Temporal Opening is TOO SMALL for Brickhouse’s body now.BRICKHOUSE
Fucking ...
Making a DESPERATE lunge -- right arm outstretched -- Brickhouse swipes at the LEVITATED Blue Shard through the miniscule opening.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(mid-flight)
Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
His fingertips graze the blue shard. But that’s all.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Shhhhhhhit!
The temporal opening clamps shut on his forearm – SHEARING off flesh and bone EXCRUCIATINGLY -- inches below the elbow.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(agonizingly)
Arrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhggggg!
Momentum carries him forward. Crashing off the Force Field his G-Suit ABSORBS THE IMPACT -- cartwheeling him backwards. Ignoring his pain Brickhouse springs to his feet -- rushing back to the Force Field. Staring angrily.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(seething)
Damn you Rikaar.
Brickhouse turns his attention to the skies.
Dazed -- Rikaar blinks. The FLOOD OF LIGHT is overwhelming. Everything is hazy. Gain his bearings he Screams at the top of his lungs --RIKAAR
Do it Astral! Take the shot!
On cue. SIX SMALL TWINKLES appear in the ebony sky -- a larger twinkle TRAILING.
Howling down -- six missiles and a massive energy blast.
Unable to move. Rikaar turns to Brickhouse one last time. At peace with his fate. It’s the last thing Brickhouse sees.
IMPACT. Everything SLOWS.BRICKHOUSE
Nooooooooooo!
The White Energy gruesomely rips Rikaar apart anatomically -- consuming him LAYER-BY-LAYER. Skin. Muscle. Tissue. Organs. Bone. Incinerating him till not a particle is left.
Brickhouse is HELPLESS but to watch. The Force Field absorbs the intense eruption -- SHIELDING Brickhouse from the ENERGY SHOWER.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Hmmpft. That must of fuckin’ hurt.
The dust clears. The Blue Shard pendant remains, HOVERING, only but briefly. Then it vanishes.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(resigned)
I’ll be seeing you in another life ... little brother.
Blood dripping from his mangled arm --FADE TO BLACK.
SUBTITLE: YEAR 3011 – PLANET SAFRUSINT. CATHEDRAL DE ABBASIYA – CONFESSIONAL BOOTH – NIGHT
BRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Wood SPLINTERS. Cinder and brick CRUMBLE. Glass SHATTERING.
An infant’s TORMENTED CRIES -- amplified by the cavernous ceilings. A set of PERKED EARS. Ruggedly unkept his SWAGGER more so than ever. He now has both the Green and Red Shards, around his neck. Bad news.BRICKHOUSE
You see father ... I’ve managed to cope rather ...
(punch line)
... handily.
Clothes SCORCHED off. Naked. Mortally burned. But still alive. The Priest, FATHER CICERO (65), hangs on by a thread. Only his HEAD has been purposely spared --FATHER CICERO
(moaning in agony)
Uggh. Ahhh. Uggh ...
Admiring his exotic APPENDAGE -- Brickhouse looms menacing over the holy man. His entire RIGHT FOREARM -- now replaced with an oversized OMEGA CANNON -- integrated directly with his cerebral cortex.BRICKHOUSE
(dourly)
Rikaar ... well he’s been a bit of a thorn, or I should say Shard, in my side for eons now.
Inspecting exposed sinewy muscle and cartilage on Father Cicero --FATHER CICERO
He keeps finding creative ways to elude us then die. Pathetic. Kinda like you.
Still reeling from shock Father Cicero can’t respond.BRICKHOUSE
(mockingly)
You chose the wrong profession father!
Picking up Father Cicero with just his LEFT ARM he abruptly seats him on a pile of RUBBLE. Father Cicero writhes -- HEARTBREAKINGLY. The crisp air STINGS his unattended wounds.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
These days calamity pays. Faith charges.
Taking a seat opposite Father Cicero --BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Father ... what is fear too you?
Now fighting through the pain. Despite the MIND-NUMBING PAIN Father Cicero musters the courage to speak.FATHER CICERO
Uggghh ... Fear is knowledge. Ugh. To fear ... is to understand.
Ironic laughter SLAPS him back in the face..BRICKHOUSE
Ironic isn’t it ... this business of ‘fear’. To fear is to be helpless, but to without it you are reckless.
Bellowing out in SINISTER LAUGHTER -- Brickhouse gets up --BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(poignantly)
Tell me father. Do you fear me?
The two pendant Shards LEVITATE -- as if on cue. Aligning -- a PRECISE YELLOW DOT centers on Father Cicero’s FOREHEAD. The OMEGA CANNON follows suit.FATHER CICERO
(begging)
Please!
PROTONIC PARTICLES gather. Steadily building power.BRICKHOUSE
Do you fear me?
Father Cicero blinded -- a SUSPENDED ORB of pure energy RADIATES the power of his science.FATHER CICERO
(stammering)
Yes. I fear you!BRICKHOUSE
Then you understand ... science has spoken ... Go with your God.
CLICK. The PROTONIC PARTICLE ORB whooshes back into the Omega Cannon. Father Cicero GASPS one last time.
BRR ... RRR ...
FATHER CICERO
(blood curdling)
Wait. Nooooo ... ahhhh ...BRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Deathly silence. Dispersed air SWIRLS up in the rafters.
No mistaking. Father Cicero’s head -- VAPORIZED. Flesh -- BURNT. Vertebrae -- CAUTERIZED ... A sickening THUD. His mutilated torso slump in a heap.
Stray residual energy particles -- momentarily WHIP about in FRENZY -- before returning to their host.BRICKHOUSE
(sardonically)
Where is your God now father?
The cathedral RUMBLES -- as if impatiently waiting for something. A wry smirk creeps across his lips.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Cause ... Hell ... is right under your nose.
A FATEFUL GUST rolls through. Bringing a FAMILIAR revolting scent. Brickhouse can practically taste the distinct essences of a female. Licking his lips --BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(disdainfully)
Born from a whore ...
FAINTLY the infant WAILS again. The inevitable looms. Turning towards the echoes -- Brickhouse BELLOWS a warning --BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
RIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAAAR!
(clenched jaw)
You can run. You can hide. But this time you won’t DIE!
The Red and Green Shards glow again -- PULSING URGENTLY. Levitating slowly they show Brickhouse the way to the HUNT.
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:29 am
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- DAY
Eager crowds gather in front of a majestic neoclassical building. A pair of giant banners flow between the columns. They read:
MYSTERIES OF EGYPT REVEALED: TREASURES FROM THE TOMB OF RAMSES!
A wizened DOSSENT manages one of the long lines. A distant TREMOR ripples through the air. No one else seems to notice, but he does, and it gives him a bad feeling.
INT. MUSEUM -- DAY
Atop a series of staircases, we enter the corridor to the Egyptian Exhibit, passing a heavyset SECURITY GUARD reading ‘Who Moved My Cheese.’ At the front of room, a crowd is clumped around the elaborately mummified body of Ramses. Further in, the crowd thins among the more mundane items: golden urns, cat caskets, tablets, and in the back corner, a plain wooden staff.
Thoroughly absorbed in it all, is JEFFREY SOBER, 42, slowly working his way behind the velvet ropes. He giddily nods along to the audio companion pressed against his ear. Dressed in white sneakers and a fanny pack, Jeffrey sees Rick Steves as his fashion icon.
As he reaches the STAFF, the plain wood ILLUMINATES with golden etched hieroglyphs.
Jeffrey turns to a pair of oblivious teenagers.
JEFFREY
Cool!
They look at the staff. Just a plain old stick. They roll their eyes and walk away.
A distant RUMBLE shakes the ground slightly. Jeffrey looks around. No one else seems to notice. He looks back at the staff. It illuminates once more, this time with words:
HELLO JEFFREY.
Jeffrey rubs his glasses.
STEAL ME.
Jeffrey bursts out laughing. This has got to be some kind of joke. He scans the room for confirmation.
The security guard, seeing the commotion across the room, wearily puts down his book.
BOOM! The room shakes violently. The ALARM BELL sounds as people scream and fall to the floor. Jeffrey looks back at the staff.
I’M SERIOUS.
SCREAMS from the floor below mingle with a MANIACAL LAUGH. The base tones grow stronger as we hear whatever it is, bounding up the stairs.
The security guard quickly closes the giant doors and pulls out his gun.
An anxious moment of SILENCE. Jeffrey looks at the staff
IF YOU DON’T, YOU WILL DIE.
POW!!!
In a plume of smoke, the doors collapse. Silently, BRICKHOUSE enters through the fog, sawed-off shotgun in each hand. He has the bearing of a Victorian prizefighter, but has the arms of a Sequoia. His handle bar mustache reaches the floor.
BRICKHOUSE
Good day, ladies and gentlemen. I’ll be taking what’s mine.
SECURITY GUARD
This belongs to the Egyptian Consulate!
One swing of the shotgun spins the guard like a top, sending his pistol flying.
It slides along the floor to Jeffrey, huddled behind the staff’s case. Jeffrey reaches for for the gun.
KABOOM!
JEFFREY SHRIEKS.
The shotgun blast SHATTERS the glass from the case as Jeffrey kicks the gun away from him. Jeffrey looks up at the staff.
NOW!
Brickhouse surveys the rest of the cowering museum-goers.
BRICKHOUSE
Anybody else want to be a hero?
Jeffrey jumps up, staff in hand like an awkward Samurai. The staff is controlling him, and he’s scared shitless.
BRICKHOUSE
You?
JEFFREY
No. Not me. Please. Don’t pay me any mind.
Jeffrey advances, showdown style, much to his dismay.
BRICKHOUSE
Give me the staff.
JEFFREY
Come and get it.
BRICKHOUSE
That’s it.
He cocks both his guns. Points them
JEFFREY
No, literally. Please. Take it! Please God, no.
As the SHOTS FIRE, Jeffrey, wailing like a tot on a rollercoaster, flies out of the path of the shot and cold cocks Brickhouse right across the face.
JEFFREY
Oh! I’m so sorry.
BRICKHOUSE wipes the blood from his mouth and pulls from his jacket an enormous flail. The spiked ball is so heavy it cracks the marble floor. He begins to swing it. Everybody ducks.
JEFFREY
Oh Spit.
The staff flies Jeffrey above the arc of the flail, but not before scooping up a velvet rope, along with its attached stanchions.
The competing flails swirl in the air as Jeffrey screams like a girl. The velvet rope suddenly meets the chain of the flail. The staff disconnects from the rope and lifts Jeffrey up above the fray as the rope and the chains suddenly wrap around Brickhouse, bringing the stanchions and the enormous ball into devastating contact with his face. He is knocked out cold.
Jeffrey is slowly lowered back to the floor. He surveys the damage in everyone’s stunned silence. He looks over Brickhouse’s body.
JEFFREY
You really never should cross a velvet rope.
July 23rd, 2009 at 5:20 am
Clearly crossing my fingers the first time did not provide enough mojo…
EXT. ASSEMBLY CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – NIGHT
A police barricade surrounds the art deco structure. Search lights from police blimps illuminate the building’s perimeter.
Just behind the police line, a NEWSREEL TRUCK pulls up. A camera is hastily set up on the back of the flatbed and the operator begins cranking.
ON THE BARRICADE LINE
two OFFICERS stand, revolvers pointed at the main entrance.
The younger of the two sweats profusely. He wipes his forehead with his sleeve, using the hand holding his gun.
OFFICER 1
Hey, watch it with that!
OFFICER 2
Sorry! Sorry...
He snaps back into position, blinking rapidly to keep the sweat from stinging his eyes.
OFFICER 1
Your first Specials call?
Officer 2 nods.
OFFICER 1
Remember two things, kid, and you’ll live to see your second. First, Specials ain’t all that special. Sure, bullets don’t --
A sarcophagus BLASTS through the wall of the museum.
Chunks of stone and debris strike Officer 1’s head, cracking it open and splattering his blood on Officer 2.
THUMPING FOOTSTEPS can be heard heading toward the museum’s new emergency exit.
Officer 2 turns towards the sound, wiping the blood from his eyes with his sleeve.
One of the search lights focuses on the hole in the wall, revealing BRICKHOUSE, a 7-and-a-half-foot-tall brute with a face that looks like Michelangelo carved it while hungover.
In his right hand he holds a BRONZE STAFF with a head stock shaped like a boar’s head.
Officer 2 aims his gun and FIRES, screaming.
The other officers around him follow suit. A barrage of gunfire erupts from pistols, thompson guns, and shotguns.
Brickhouse laughs as the bullets lodge in his skin, only knocking off small chips of his body and forming a cloud around him. His deep baritone echoes off nearby buildings.
POLICE LOUDSPEAKER
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
Officers watch as the cloud disappates. Brikhouse brushes some chunks of himself off his shoulder, then pulls the staff from behind his back to examine it.
BRICKHOUSE
Thank goodness. I was worried you might damage it.
His eyes narrow, and he charges the nearest police car. Shoulder down, he connects and sends it careening across the street and through the display window of a women’s boutique.
As the search lights try to keep up with Brickhouse’s movement, officers break ranks and fire wildly, flee, or both.
The newsreel crew keeps rolling, panning the carnage.
Officer 2 hides behind a lamp post, shaking, nose running. A shadow falls over him.
THE LEVEL (O.S.)
First Specials call, kid?
THE LEVEL, a man of average height and above average class. He sports a suit and tie (with a Scales of Justice tie tack) as well as a small domino mask.
THE LEVEL
Don’t worry. You’ll live to see your second.
He runs his thumb over his pencil thin moustache, and gives a devil-may-care wink to Officer 2 before strolling towards the bedlam.
THE LEVEL
My, my, Brickhouse! What’s that shiny metal stick you’ve got there?
Brickhouse halts his attack, turning towards The Level.
BRICKHOUSE
Your eyesight must be as average as your intellect, Level. Clearly these features are those of --
LEVEL
-- a boar, last of the twelve treasures of the Chinese Zodiac.
BRICKHOUSE
I see you’ve learned how to open a book.
THE LEVEL
And I see your hubris is still intact.
BRICKHOUSE
Well it REMAINS to be seen how much of you will be intact after today.
Brickhouse charges towards The Level.
NEWSREEL NARRATOR (V.O.)
The rocky behemoth threw himself at our intrepid hero, but The Level had already matched his might to that of the craggy criminal.
The Level plants his feet, staring down Brickhouse’s mad dash.
INT. MOVIE THEATER – NIGHT
Projected on screen, the camera crew’s footage of The Level’s battle with Brickhouse, following along with the narration.
NEWSREEL NARRATOR (V.O.)
With a SINGLE PUNCH to the jaw, The Level upset Brickhouse’s balance, leading to a left, a right, and one of his now famous KUNG FU KICKS learned from mystics during his travels in the Orient.
The crowd cheers and claps. Officer 2 stares uncomfortably at the screen.
Next to him a small, bouncing BOY cheers and happily shoves popcorn in his face.
On the screen, The Level slaps some oversized cuffs on Brickhouse and shakes hands with a police officer.
NEWSREEL NARRATOR (V.O.)
All in a day’s work for one of Assembly City’s Special guardians, taking time out of his efforts to thank the police for their... competent assistance.
The newsreel cuts to a montage of police running around in terror, slightly sped up Keystone Cops style, to the riotous laughter of the audience. Tactfully, there are no shots of any of the police actually dying.
Officer 2 sinks into his seat.
The Boy next to him turns to his FATHER, a disproportionately muscular man (who wouldn’t look out of place in a cape and tights).
BOY
Dad... when I grow up, could I be like The Level?
FATHER
(chuckling)
We’ll see, son. We’ll see.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:05 am
INT. CAMERA ROOM MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES -- NIGHT
GUARD #1 sits with his back to a glowing blue array of monitors, his legs propped up on the table. Across from him is GUARD #2, standing. He has good posture, and although he’s listening to GUARD #1, his attention’s focused on the monitors
GUARD #1
Seven years on the beat, a bullet, two stabbings, just as many kids, and three divorces. With this gig, figured it was time to settle down...
GUARD #2
(might as well be ignoring him)
Mmhmm...
GUARD #1
(a little annoyed)
...’cause in a museum you’re just surrounded by...you know...
(drawing out the next two words)
inanimate objects?
GUARD #2 leans in to get a closer look at the monitors.
INT. MONITORS -- GUARD #2 POV
A DARK FIGURE scampers cross the room.
GUARD #1 (O.S.)
(mockingly)
Maybe I’ll call up Becky--that’s her name, right? Finally get a little action here...
The DARK FIGURE stops at two empty wall mounts. He looks around before quickly dashing out of view.
GUARD #2
(to himself)
You little bastard...
CAMERA ROOM. GUARD #1 stands back up.
GUARD #1
Aw, hey, I was just...
GUARD #2
(no nonsense)
Call the police. Tell them there’s someone in the Obsequious Room. And hit the lights--I don’t want to be tripping over Cleopatra’s tits.
GUARD #1
(snapping to attention)
Uh, anything else?
GUARD #2
Yeah, hope they’re better than you.
INT. OBSEQUIOUS ROOM--GUARD #2 POV
The lights cast a golden glimmer over the artifacts. None of them look to be anything special--in fact, if they weren’t so elegantly displayed, most folks wouldn’t give them a second thought.
GUARD #2 Makes his way to the two empty mounts cautiously, his hand on his holster. We hear the light thud of his shoes. The camera wheels around so we see his face.
GUARD #2
Hello? Museum security.
No answer.
GUARD #2
Let’s make this easy, son. The doors are locked, and the police are on their way.
A loud crash is heard in the OSTENTATIOUS ROOM. It sounds like someone tripped a waiter carrying a platter full of ball bearings. The camera swings back behind GUARD #2, peeping cowardly over his shoulder. GUARD #2 relaxes, taking his hand off his holster as he heads to the entryway of the OSTENTAIOUS ROOM.
GUARD #2
Aw Christ, son, not the Algerian Marbles...
Just as he reaches the entryway, a huge lumbering bulk of a man stumbles out, clutching his side. This is BRICKHOUSE: 6′7″, 300-plus pounds, and oozing muscle. He’s clad totally in white--pants, T-shirt, and trenchcoat--save for an ever-growing patch of red emanating from his left side, which is clutched with his right hand. In his left, held by a death grip, is a six-foot wooden staff.
BRICKHOUSE
He’s in there...
BRICKHOUSE ambles to GUARD #2, who in turn runs to help him as the DARK FIGURE from the monitor, trim and clad in black from head to toe, not even eye slits in his mask, appears from the same entryway.
BRICKHOUSE
Keep him away from me!
BRICKHOUSE, staff still in hand, flings GUARD #2 toward the DARK FIGURE, who grips both sides of the portal, bracing himself for the impact. He catches GUARD #2 between his knees, somersaults over him, and charges toward BRICKHOUSE, who faces his opponent with the staff held over his head, ready to strike.
The DARK FIGURE is about four feet from him when BRICKHOUSE slams down the staff onto the DARK FIGURE’s head...only he doesn’t, as the DARK FIGURE catches the staff in his hands and does a sweeping kick to bring BRICKHOUSE to the floor...which also doesn’t work, and the DARK FIGURE’s legs bounce off BRICKHOUSE’s ankles like rubber.
BRICKHOUSE, seizing the opportunity, drops the staff and grips the DARK FIGURE by his neck.
BRICKHOUSE
Never tried this with my left hand...
BRICKHOUSE begins to squeeze the DARK FIGURE, who scrambles to free himself.
GUARD #2 (O.S.)
Alright, cut it out, boys!
BRICKHOUSE and the DARK FIGURE look over to GUARD #2, standing in the entryway with his gun pointed at them. BRICKHOUSE, never one for subtle tactics, now flings the DARK FIGURE toward GUARD #2, knocking him over.
GUARD #2’s gun goes off, grazing the DARK FIGURE’s right temple before planting itself directly into BRICKHOUSE’s left shoulder. The DARK FIGURE spins around disoriented, his right hand clutching his head while he staggers to regain equilibrium. BRICKHOUSE, a bit dazed, tries to decide which wound he should tend to, covering his shoulder wound first with his right hand. The DARK FIGURE, still off balance, leans to right as he looks around for a weapon. He settles on a nearby bust, grasping the back of the head and steadying his aim.
GUARD #2
No!
The DARK FIGURE looks at him, confused.
GUARD #2
It’s on loan.
The DARK FIGURE’s shoulders collapse resignedly as he gives up, absentmindedly letting the bust fall to the floor where it shatters into a million pieces. He takes up a defensive stance as BRICKHOUSE, his white clothes now covered in red, stumbles over to him. BRICKHOUSE’s right hand clutches his left side while his left hand rests on his shoulder. He makes his way to the DARK FIGURE, pecking at him feebly with his left elbow. The DARK FIGURE makes a few half-hearted attempts to dodge, but is too tired to counterattack.
Sensing his opponent’s weariness, BRICKHOUSE eases up on his attack, so that now he’s just teetering back and forth with his elbow out, looking like the drinking bird. This goes on a bit with the DARK FIGURE moving in tandem to dodge before BRICKHOUSE passes out from blood loss. The DARK FIGURE succumbs soon after, and the POLICE, along with GUARD #1, finally show up to haul the two jackasses off to county clink.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:05 am
EXT. GINZA, TOKYO – DAY
It’s a sunny Sunday morning, so Ginza’s main thoroughfares are blocked to traffic and filled with ardent consumers blissfully wandering from luxury store to luxury store.
An attractive YOUNG WOMAN stares longingly through the window of a designer boutique, sighing at the little black dress she wants but can’t afford.
A DARK SHADOW casts itself across the spot where she stands. Her daydream interrupted, the Young Woman looks to the tops of surrounding buildings and sees a massive flock of crows blocking out the sun. The panicked birds CAW menacingly as they pass, then--
A gigantic CRASH. Smoke begins to rise from the back end of one of the moderately high buildings, only tens of yards from the Young Woman.
Shoppers SCREAM and run desperately for cover in every direction. A pleasant weekend turned to utter anarchy in the blink of an eye.
The Young Woman races for the door of the designer store, but it slams shut just as she reaches it. An embarrassed SHOP ASSISTANT inside looks through the glass door as if to say “Sorry!” and scampers out of sight.
YOUNG WOMAN
(banging on door)
忌々しい!
A series of THUNDEROUS BANGS emanate from the damaged building. The petrified Young Woman looks up to see what’s going on.
CUT TO:
WIDE on a midsection of the building. Suddenly our hero, the bald headed, orange robed BODHI, comes SMASHING through a central window in SLOW MOTION. Fragments of gleaming glass and steel follow him in his fall down to the street below.
SLOW MOTION ends just before he’s about to hit the ground. As he drives into it the tarmac bears his indentation.
CUT TO:
The same WIDE shot of the building, now with a huge hole in the center of it. Two fiery red eyes appear from within and get closer and closer to the edge of the hole until they reveal their owner...
BRICKHOUSE, now in mutated red-brick form and three times the size of his Herculean human alter-ego, clutches the stolen STAFF OF BUDDHA in his right hand.
He steps lightly off the edge of the hole and levitates gracefully down to Bodhi on the street.
Bodhi writhes in pain as blood seeps from a huge gash in his head. Brickhouse towers above him, full of hubris.
BRICKHOUSE
I’ve waited most of my life for this moment, Baldy. All those times you put me away and now I get to put you away for good. Don’t you people have a word for that? Isn’t this what you call “karma”?
BODHI
D-d-don’t do this. You can still choose a higher path.
Brickhouse laughs mockingly, then readies the staff above Bodhi as if fishing with a spear.
He brings the staff down with all his might, driving it straight through Bodhi’s heart. Bodhi SCREAMS in agony, then begins shaking uncontrollably.
SUDDENLY Ginza begins to MELT AWAY, dissolving into nothingness, whiteness, leaving only the two adversaries. A soft but incessant CHANTING starts up.
Brightly colored PSYCHEDELIC FLOWERS begin blooming all around.
WEIRD ANIMALS with heads like LIONS and DEER frolic in the background.
RAIN CLOUDS appear overhead and spew forth GOLDEN RAINDROPS.
Brickhouse is by turns terror-stricken and amazed. He’s so transfixed by this transcendental experience that he fails to notice Bodhi has made his way to his feet and is now standing in front of him with the STAFF OF BUDDHA outstretched in both hands.
BODHI
You have chosen a dishonorable path Andrew Mortar. You stole the Staff of Buddha and used it to terrorize the world. It is here, in the Zone of Enlightenment, where you will meet your ultimate fate.
An infuriated Brickhouse tries to punch Bodhi in the face. His hand just passes straight through him as though he were a ghost.
BODHI
Your mortal form cannot hurt me here, Mr. Mortar. In this place I do not even exist. Now, it is time for you to be judged...
Bodhi CHANTS with eyes closed and summons a truly GROTESQUE humanoid bull-like creature with a crown augmented by HUMAN SKULLS. This is YAMA, Lord of Death, who’s far bigger than Brickhouse.
YAMA
(to Bodhi)
This is he?
BODHI
He is.
YAMA
Step forward mortal! I am Yama, harbinger of death.
Brickhouse, totally in awe, steps towards the deity open-mouthed.
With one fell swoop of his clawed hand Yama WHACKS Brickhouse on the side of the head.
Brickhouse mutates back into human form and falls dead on the ground.
Bodhi hands the Staff of Buddha to Yama.
Yama howls victoriously, before running off on all fours.
Bodhi begins to make slow martial arts movements above Brickhouse’s listless body. Brickhouse’s body levitates upwards, then spins around and around. In the resulting blur we see the definite image of the WHEEL OF DHARMA.
Bodhi CLAPS his hands loudly three times. The spinning stops. Brickhouse’s body contracts and contracts until finally it takes the form of a COCKROACH. Bodhi grabs it in his hand and blows on it. It comes to life.
CLOSE ON: Bodhi as he chants.
PULL AWAY to reveal GINZA, everything as it was just after Bodhi fell. The street is empty now except for the Young Woman, who stares at Bodhi in amazement.
Bodhi crouches to the ground and sets the cockroach free.
It quickly crawls in the direction of the Young Woman. Completely disgusted, she stomps on the insect.
BODHI
Now that, dear Brickhouse, is what I call “karma”.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:09 am
When all else fails, read the instructions. (My previous entry looked fine on the preview.)
EXT. MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
A few PASSERS-BY move unhurriedly up and down the broad steps leading to the imposing facade of the museum. From inside we hear confused SHOUTING, getting louder.
Suddenly a large man bursts from the door and runs down the steps clutching an ancient TRIBAL STAFF in his hand. This is BRICKHOUSE, an ex-WWF wrestler, still powerful in his denim jacket and jeans.
VOICE (O.S.)
Stop! Stop, you thief!
Young TRAN and older SAM, security guards, come running out after Brickhouse.
Behind them follows ANDERSON the curator, a trim and sunburned sixty-year-old. He cups his hands and yells at Brickhouse.
ANDERSON
Whatever you do, don’t damage it!
Brickhouse runs down the path to a decrepit
PARKED CAR
He opens the passenger door and shoves the staff in. It doesn’t fit. It’s too long. For the first time we see some detail of
THE STAFF
It is wood, about eight foot long, with bands of INTRICATE BEADWORK and some feather-and-hair TASSLES.
ANDERSON(O.S.)
Don’t break the beadwork! We can never restore the pattern.
Brickhouse hesitates, not sure what to do about the sticking-out staff.
INSIDE THE CAR
Is the driver, LEIGH, a scary punk girl in her early 30s dressed in leather with spiky hair, razor-blade earrings, piercings, the lot. She screams at Brickhouse.
LEIGH
Open the window and stick it in, ya lummox. Hurry!
Brickhouse pulls the staff out and starts winding down the window of the open door.
Tran runs up and jumps on his back, attempting to choke him. Brickhouse holds Tran’s choke arm with one hand and bangs Tran against the car repeatedly to shake him off. In his other hand he has the staff.
Sam runs up and grabs the staff. Brickhouse hangs on tightly.
Leigh gets out and runs around the car to help.
Anderson, running up, sees her for the first time.
ANDERSON
Leigh McPherson! I should have known your father was behind this.
LEIGH
You’re not the only anthropology professor, Professor.
She body-checks Anderson and he stumbles to the ground.
LEIGH (CONT’D)
You have no right to deny others access to the staff.
Leigh turns to Brickhouse. She rips the lightweight Tran from his back, swings him around, and skittles Sam with him.
LEIGH
Get in the car.
Brickhouse gets in. She slams the door, sticks the staff in the open window like a fishing pole, and runs around to get in the driver’s side.
Sam and Tran meanwhile have recovered and are trying to grab the staff. Brickhouse fends them off by PUNCHING through the open window while Anderson runs around to Leigh and bangs on her window.
ANDERSON
Miss McPherson! Listen to me. Your father must never get that staff.
LEIGH
Why not?
She starts the car and revs the engine.
ANDERSON
Because he plans to unwind the beads and analyse them. But the beads are not important. It’s the pattern that’s important.
LEIGH
You only say that because you don’t have my father’s equipment.
(noticing the crowd)
Outta my way!
The passers-by have gathered round. From a minibus come about a dozen more PEOPLE wearing orange T-shirts printed with “FRIENDS OF THE UBIQUITIES MUSEUM.”
A THICK-SET MAN in an orange T-shirt steps forward.
THICK-SET MAN
What’s the problem, Prof?
ANDERSON
McPherson wants our staff for his Curiosities Museum.
THE CROWD
(ad lib)
McPherson? Curiosities Museum? No way!
Leigh revs the engine menacingly, then RIPS a razor-blade earring off and holds it out for Brickhouse to take.
LEIGH
Move or we cut the beads!
ANDERSON
No, you don’t.
He OPENS THE DOOR and PULLS Leigh from the car before she can hand over the blade.
ANDERSON
(to the crowd)
Tip the car!
Tran and Sam, with the help of the crowd, TIP THE CAR on its side. The staff is now sticking out of the top window. The Thick-set Man gives Anderson a HAND UP and he stands on top of the car, pulls the staff out, and WAVES it to the cheering crowd.
A hand comes out of the window, GRABS his ankle, and tries to pull him in. Brickforce isn’t finished yet.
Tran and Sam have been waiting for an opportunity like this. They draw their truncheons and BEAT his knuckles until he SCREAMS with pain and lets go.
THICK-SET MAN
Okay Prof, we’ll look after these two...
<
p class=”parenthetical”>(sneer)
...”curiosities.” You go fix our museum.
Anderson jumps from the car and flanked by Tran and Sam mounts the stairs like a conquering hero, returning the staff to its rightful place in his museum.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:18 am
Sorry, here’s a version with scrippets working.
INT. MILITARY COMMAND CENTER -- NIGHT
CAPTAIN ROBERTSON, in his fifties, so military-looking that if he was ever discharged he would evaporate leaving no trace, stands watching a big screen showing a dark and empty street. Garbage blowing in the wind. The picture is dim, low-res digital. Flickers of static. Camera movements as if the camera is mounted to the head of an unsteadily walking person.
Behind Robertson are two rows of operators surveilling their computer screens. The equipment is new and high-tech, but seems to have been assembled in a rush: cables and empty cardboard boxes cover the floor.
Just behind Robertson sit a MALE OPERATOR, an eager and alert looking sergeant in his twenties, and a FEMALE OPERATOR, good looking but with a bored expression, also in her twenties and a sergeant.
Robertson takes a step towards the screen.
ROBERTSON
What’s that? Is it him?
The male operator presses some keys and the picture sharpens. The contours of a man in a coat walking. He is carrying a wrapped up stick. A fishing rod? A weapon?
ROBERTSON
Yeah. That’s Brickman. With the staff. Gotta be it.(to the female operator) Add some artificial stability.
BRICKMAN’s figure more clearly now. Determined steps. His coat blowing in the low wind. Two blocks away a parked taxi.
ROBERTSON
Fuck me. He’s heading for the cab. Can we speed up the drunk?
FEMALE OPERATOR
I can add 50 MHz electro-magnetization to the left hemispheric motoric center. But the alcohol is suppressing his CNS. I won’t be able to fine adjust the movements.
ROBERTSON
Do it.
EXT. CITY STREET -- NIGHT
Brickman’s face. In his early forties. Anonymous and emotionless, like a tired clerk on his way home after work.
Behind him in the distance THE DRUNK. Closing in, but slowly. A bit unsteady. Then suddenly his left foot jerks forward in an absurdly huge step. His eyes opens in surprise as he watches his feet half-running in a stiff jerky manner.
He closes in on Brickman.
INT. MILITARY COMMAND CENTER -- NIGHT
The display shows Brickman from behind as seen through the eyes of the drunk. He’s closing in, but Brickman’s closing in on the cab as well.
ROBERTSON
Are we ready for the sneeze?
MALE OPERATOR
Initializing sneeze. Got five biobots in the upper airways now.
ROBERTSON
We need more than five.
OPERATOR
Six now. Seven. Starting electromagnetic charging.
ROBERTSON
Good. Go high. 300 MHz.
MALE OPERATOR
300? Are you sure? It could induce a seizure. In the worst case kill him.
ROBERTSON
I know. But fuck it. This is the only chance we have. Get him into position first.
EXT. CITY STREET -- NIGHT
The drunk right behind Brickman now. In a few awkwardly long and jerky steps he passes him, spins around robot-like and falls towards Brickman. Surprised, Brickman grabs him by the collars, presses him up against a brick wall.
BRICKMAN
Who are you?
Brickman stares into the drunk’s face. It’s clear that Brickman is actually more scared than angry.
INT. MILITARY COMMAND CENTER -- NIGHT
The display is filled with Brickman’s face. His mouth opens as he says something.
ROBERTSON
Now!
The male operator frenetically presses buttons.
EXT. CITY STREET -- NIGHT
THE INCREDIBLE SOUND OF A SNEEZE.
From the perspective of the nanotechnological biobot -- now flying out of the drunk’s mouth -- we see Brickman’s open mouth in slow motion, huge, a red-black void filling the screen. We tumble into it at high speed. Dark red surrounding us.
ON THE STREET Brickman turns away, stroking drops of sneeze from his face.
BRICKMAN
What the fuck! Get away from me.
Brickman pushes the drunk away.
INT. MILITARY COMMAND CENTRE -- NIGHT
The display shows Brickman going towards the cab as the drunk stumbles backwards from the push.
ROBERTSON
We in?
MALE OPERATOR
We’ve got... We’ve got one in.
ROBERTSON
One!? Jesus christ, we can only hope to surveil him then, no hope of controlling him.
MALE OPERATOR
Ok, we’re online. Got audio, not visual yet. Getting preliminary biopsy. Definably not human. Looks like a classical fresh-mummy structure in slimy-form. Far from bricks.
ROBERTSON
... and let’s hope it stays that way. You get the age?
FEMALE OPERATOR
Approximately 5000 years B.C. 81th incarnation.
ROBERTSON
It’s him alright. It’s Brickman.
EXT. CITY STREET -- NIGHT
Brickman slams the door and the TAXI DRIVER starts driving.
BRICKMAN
Murray Street 34.
INT. MILITARY COMMAND CENTER -- NIGHT
ROBERTSON
Oh Jesus Christ. Murray Street. He knows. And he’s got the staff. Oh sweet lord Jesus fucking Christ fuck me slowly in the behind. We are so fucked. The world is so fucked.
MALE OPERATOR
Uh oh. What do we do? Call the Fantastic Four?
ROBERTSON
No! Not those idiots. Call the Whining Nerds. They’re impossible to deal with but they are the only ones who can help us now.
FEMALE OPERATOR
The Whining Nerds?
ROBERTSON
Yes, you heard me! They’re in the book just like the rest of them. Under double-you.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:29 am
Why so stingy with the chronos, August? Throw us a weekend next time? It just mutated into a parody and… I’ll shut up.
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY
A fleet of cops and cars are huddled around the Museum of Ubiquities as bystanders watch from afar, behind barricades.
CAPTAIN
(megaphone)
Give it up, Brickhouse. There’s no way you’re getting out of here with the staff.
The museum vibrates as the voice of KARLHEINZ BRÜCKHAUS AKA BRICKHOUSE, echoes from inside with a Bavarian accent:
BRICKHOUSE
You fools will never stop me.
CAPTAIN
(to officer)
Get me the Ball --
BEEP BEEP BEEP. A cement truck backs up through the barricades and stops an inch from the captain’s face.
BRECKIN WALL AKA WRECKIN’ BALL, a chubby middle-ager in plaid flannel, suspenders and a yellow helmet, steps out.
BALL
Captain. Anything I can do?
CAPTAIN
Get him out of there, Wreckin’ Ball.
Ball nods and walks towards the entrance, as a SLOPPY SCIENCE EXPERT runs up to the captain.
EXPERT
Captain, you can’t let him go in there.
CAPTAIN
Relax, professor. We tried your theories. Let’s let Wreckin’ Ball bring Brickhouse out of the museum.
EXPERT
But... you don’t understand.
The Expert pushes his schematics into the captain’s face.
EXPERT
Brickhouse IS the museum.
CAPTAIN
Holy mother of --
He looks up to the entrance which morphs into a brick wall, as Wreckin’ Ball disappears inside.
INT. BRICKHOUSE – DAY
Brickhouse’s voice echoes throughout when he speaks.
BRICKHOUSE
Ah, Ball. Or should I say... Wall?
BALL
That’s right, Karlheinz. Test Batch Two, just like you.
BRICKHOUSE
Don’t try and appeal to my emotions. We both have a heart of stone.
BALL
I want you to give back the staff, Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
And I want to be a cottage on the Swiss Alps. Auf Wiedersehen, Ball.
Stone tentacles shoot out of the walls at Ball. His skin texture quickly changes to dark gray steel. The stone breaks against his body like waves on a breakwater.
BRICKHOUSE
(curses)
Gropius.
Ball runs down the corridor towards the main hall, breaking through stalagmites and stalactites that swoosh across his path.
BRICKHOUSE
You think I spent three weeks as this pretentious Gehry travesty to break down now?
The arched door frame melts into a full wall. Ball throws down his helmet, swings his steel-skin head and flings himself head first into the wall.
He punches through the wall, sending bricks of rage flying.
INTERCUT: STREET
Bricks fly out to the street sending cops under cars and people running and screaming.
INT. MAIN HALL – DAY
Twin stairwells crash down in front of Ball, leaving two isolated polls. One holding the staff. The other, a LITTLE GIRL.
BRICKHOUSE
What will it be, Wreckin’ Ball? The Ubiquitous Staff of Meme or a little insignificant human?
Bricks begin to pop out of both polls.
BRICKHOUSE
How good are you at Jenga?
Ball’s right arm turns back to flesh as his left arm turns into a STEEL CHAIN which shoots up through a skylight and grabs the ceiling, enabling him to swing up, wreck through the poll with the girl and catch her.
Ball bursts outside with the girl as he watches the staff fall, getting devoured by the floor.
EXT. MUSEUM YARD – DAY
BRICKHOUSE
Always the softy. Thanks to you, I will use the Staff of Meme to infect everyone until the whole world becomes brick and mortar.
BALL
I will not let you destroy --
Brickhouse’s essence, a swarm of nano-bricks, begins to swirl, shedding off some of the museum, for a moment becoming a 30 foot figure of quite a handsome man, actually.
BRICKHOUSE
Destroy? I build. You destroy, my dear Wreckin’ Ball. Who is the villain here?
He then swirls again and assimilates into the nearby building, sending waves through the structure.
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY
Ball runs through the remaining debris and hands the girl to a cop. He runs to his truck and snaps his radio dispatch. The captain runs to him.
CAPTAIN
What do we do now?
BALL
It’s OK. We’re ready for him.
(to radio)
Dinamite?
INT. DINAMITE’S DEN – DAY
30ish ubergeek DINAH MEIDT AKA DINAMITE answers Ball amid a cyber wall monitoring the street.
DINAMITE
All wired up.
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY
Ball picks up a portable remote control board and switches two buttons.
The building next to the museum implodes with pre-rigged precision. But Brickhouse manages to spill into the next building in time.
Switch. Click. BOOM. The next one is demolished with epic minimalism. Brickhouse escapes again.
Detonation. Escape. Repeat. Ball hops into his truck and starts driving to keep up as the demolition domino continues down the street. The captain joins him on the passenger side. They ram through the rear of a car caught in their way. Another detonation.
CAPTAIN
Is this really necessary? I’m not sure we cleared the entire --
BALL
Trust me.
They stop at a big brownish cube structure. Brickhouse inside. Ball steps out. The captain follows.
BALL
Give me the staff, Brickhouse.
Brickhouse’s ominous laugh echoes around the block. He attempts to morph out but fails. And again.
BALL
Give me the staff, and I’ll see to it you’ll at least get a nice piece of real estate.
BRICKHOUSE
What did you do to me, you lump of alloy, what is this?
The captain also stares at Ball, waiting for an answer.
BALL
Silly Putty.
The front wall of the cube mutates into Brickhouse’s speaking face.
BRICKHOUSE
Oh, sweet blueprints of Albert Speer, you wretched son of Gaudi.
BALL
I didn’t rig this one, Brickhouse. But I do have a cement truck full of alcohol ready to dissolve --
BRICKHOUSE
OK. OK.
The staff shoots out of the cube, landing at their feet. The captain picks it up.
CAPTAIN
You did it. You saved us.
Ball walks away, his skin back in full flesh, but his expression still stone cold.
BALL
For now, captain. For now.
Below the ground they walk on:
INT. UNDERGROUND – DAY
A drop of putty drips down from the cube’s foundations.
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:43 am
INT. CITY MUSEUM OF INIQUITIES – DAY
Wearing Ray-Ban Aviators and a bulky, expensive suit, BRICKHOUSE could be an Ultimate Fighter on his first day in court. In the half dark museum room, his seven foot shape could easily be mistaken for one of the exhibits.
He is STUDYING the glass case that stands alone in the centre of the room. He takes in everything – the mysterious Staff it holds, the plinth it rests on, the faint red lasers of the security alarm system that cradle the Staff like a web.
An elderly MUSEUM GUIDE sidles up and speaks in low, hushed tones.MUSEUM GUIDE
(snootily)
Sir, I’m sure you’d find it easier to appreciate the intricacies of the Staff if you removed your sunglasses...
Brickhouse nods, takes them off and slips them into his breast pocket. He might as well have taken off a hood. Recognising him, the Museum Guide’s mouth falls open in horror.MUSEUM GUIDE (CONT’D)
I’ve seen you on the news...you’re...Brickhouse!BRICKHOUSE
(impatiently)
It’s pronounced BREEK-HOWS. Now, what were you saying about the Staff being better appreciated without glass?
Security system be damned. His arms shoot forward, effortlessly BREAKING through the thickened security glass and INTO the case.
With an unexpectedly delicate touch, Brickhouse LIFTS the Staff from its plinth.
A split-second later and the museum alarm begins to scream out.
MACREADY, the commando team leader and TERI, his second-in-command, arrive at the museum entrance. They are both literally dressed to kill in their black combat outfits and bandoliers.
MACREADY
By the sounds of it, he’s here already.. If we’re quick, we’ll catch him on the way out.TERI
Which way’s that?MACREADY
Well, there’s only one way out of any museum...
He points to an arrowed sign on the wall.MACREADY (CONT’D)
...and that’s through the gift shop. Come on!
It’s a typical museum gift shop, fully stocked with catalogues to be bought and never read and chintzy, high-priced collectables.
Brickhouse is WALKING through it, heading purposefully towards the exit. Suddenly, a GUARD appears, running towards him. Brickhouse lifts the Staff safely out of harm’s way and with his other hand, SHOVES the guard. The guard SLIDES across the room like a hockey puck, sending a rack of brochures FLYING.
Two more GUARDS rush towards Brickhouse, moving either side of him.
Brickhouse pauses and then with a sudden FLICK of his wrist, the Staff is up, out of his hand, SPINNING towards the ceiling like a cheerleader’s baton. Both guards can’t help but stop and glance up, as the Staff cartwheels skywards...
That’s all the distraction Brickhouse needs. He GRABS the guards’ heads and SLAMS them together. Their bodies fold up like ironed laundry and collapse to the floor.
Brickhouse outstretches his arm and safely CATCHES the Staff as it falls back to earth. He starts to move towards the exit again.
Macready has outrun Teri and arrives at the gift shop first. Without stopping, he’s inside, SHOUTING as he RUNS down the centre aisle of the shop.MACREADY (CONT’D)
Briquehaus! Hand it over!BRICKHOUSE
(grinning)
A little out of your league, aren’t you, Macready? This is the City Museum, not Ripley’s Believe It Or Not...
Brickhouse PAUSES to let the insult sink in and then BARRELS forward, bouncing Macready off his chest. Macready SMASHES into a chinaware display case, which topples over, SHATTERING its limited edition, serial numbered contents across the floor.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(sarcastically)
You break it, you buy it...
Too busy cracking wise, Brickhouse doesn’t notice Teri until it’s too late. She’s flick-flacking down the shop, head over heels until BAM! She slams into Brickhouse’s chest with the balls of her feet. More from the surprise than the impact, he takes three step backwards to steady himself.
That’s all the time Macready needed. He stands up, UNHOLSTERS a bizarre looking gun from his hip and takes aim.MACREADY
(shouting)
Teri! Duck!
From Teri’s expression, it’s clear she knows what’s coming next. She SPRINTS out of the way, becoming a blur.
Macready squeezes the trigger, FIRES the gun at Brickhouse. Liquid SPRAYS out of the barrel like Coke with added Mentos, the stream EXPANDING as it hits the air.
Within seconds, a semi-opaque restriction cube FORMS around Brickhouse. He’s trapped like a fly in amber, desperately STRUGGLING to break free from the gelatinous block that’s appeared .TERI
How long will that hold him?MACREADY
Long enough for the backup team to arrive and do their stuff...
Maybe not that long. Macready whips his head round, as he hears a loud TEARING sound. The restriction cube is being TORN APART, like Jell-O at a kid’s birthday party.
Brickhouse emerges from the remains of the cube. He’s soaked, as if he’d just taken a shower with his suit on. Face and hands are dripping with gel.
He takes a menacing step towards Macready, stops, and then breaks into a broad grin.BRICKHOUSE
My lawyers will be in touch with you about my dry-cleaning bill.
Brickhouse then turns and SLAMS through the automatic glass exit doors, before they have a chance to open for him. When the cloud of glass fragments settles, Brickhouse – and the Staff – are gone.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 am
INT. MUSEUM DAY
The museum of Ubiquities is a cavernous over funded under visited depository of man’s triumphs to date. A man covered head to toe in a cloak enters the main exhibit hall. As he walks his body grows thicker and more muscular until his footprints are visible in the marble floor. He Reaches the glass case containing Ancient staffs made of every substance known to man and one unknown.
He raises his fists ripping his cloak to shreds revealing a a long backpack. And shatter the case to dust. He grabs all the staffs and tosses them in his backpack. The curator runs toward him. She is the boned bombshell type.
CURATOR
You can’t come in here and start trashing the place.
BRICKHOUSE
Hence the word “villain” dear.
CURATOR
What villain?
Brickhouse grabs the curator by her throat holding her to his chest, stroking her hair.
BRICKHOUSE
Your a very beautiful woman.
SALVATION
Put her down!
Enter out hero: Salvation. A blonde Adonis dressed in flaming red levitating three feet above the floor.
BRICKHOUSE
I have no use for beautiful women.
He tosses the woman aside. Salvation flies quickly catching her an inch before she is impaled on a collection of spears. The woman runs away. Brickhouse races toward Salvation grabbing him dragging him down to the ground.
BRICKHOUSE
With you there is a fine line between fighting and fucking.
SALVATION
And that line we will never cross again.
Brickhouse kisses Salvation passionately. Salvation pushes him away with such strength to fling him across the hall
SALVATION
What happened to the man I loved?
BRICKHOUSE
He grew up!
Brickhouse stares at him for a brief moment then jumps upward through the skylight sending a million shards of glass raining down.
We fade out leaving our two former lovers enemies for life.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:30 am
EXT. MUSEUM VAN – DAY [MOVING]
A van trundles along on a deserted road. The body of the van has a sign painted on it: MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES. It’s a traveling museum. There’s a loudspeaker attached to its side, blaring real hard.LOUDSPEAKER
Come young, come old / See history unfold / Sate all your curiosities / At the Museum of Ubiquities...
INT. MUSEUM VAN – CONTINUOUS
A really ancient man inside the van. He’s wearing the shabbiest of uniforms, and a dirty badge that reads ‘STAFF’ is stuck to his dirty shirt.
This ANCIENT STAFF is sleeping. At the wheels.
EXT. DESERTED ROAD – MOMENTS LATER
From here, the van is just a blip on the horizon, the loudspeaker noise a faint murmur.
Hearing it intently, eyes closed, feet swaying, a drunk TRAMP on the roadside announces to himself...
TRAMP
It’s coming, I can feel it coming!
Silence.
A brick whips across the frame and hits the tramp on the face, knocking him out flat.
INT. MUSEUM VAN – MOMENTS LATER
Ancient Staff wakes up, leans forward, scrunches up his eyes to better see the road. There’s something there.
ANCIENT STAFF’S POV -- A huge hulk made totally of bricks is out on the road walking straight towards the van.
Ancient Staff’s mouth falls open--
CRASH!
FADE TO BLACK:
EXT. FIELD – MOMENTS LATER
Shocked and bruised, Ancient Staff sits beneath a tree, the road some distance behind him.
On the roadside, the van lies upturned, its wheels turning in the air, the loudspeaker croaking in repeat mode...
LOUDSPEAKER
See the history unfold.. See the history unfold.. See the history unfold...
Ancient Staff scrunches up his eyes to better see what’s in front of him. What’s in front of him is BRICKHOUSE, and he’s rumbling.
BRICKHOUSE
Are you taking me seriously?
ANCIENT STAFF
(feebly)
...What?
BRICKHOUSE
I said are you taking me seriously?
ANCIENT STAFF
Of course, I--
BRICKHOUSE
I don’t like people who don’t.
ANCIENT STAFF
...I am seriously... taking you..
Brickhouse looks up at the sky.
BRICKHOUSE
People have a habit of ignoring Brickhouse, as if he doesn’t exist.
(looks down at the old man)
You can actually see that in the chat rooms, all of them pretending I’m not there, even when--
ANCIENT STAFF
...Chat room?
BRICKHOUSE
Even when I use my real name.
ANCIENT STAFF
...Name..
BRICKHOUSE
Nobody reads my blog, nobody follows me on Twitter.
ANCIENT STAFF
...Why have you done this to me?
Brickhouse stops speaking. Breaks off a branch from the tree, sticks it in the dark hollow that is his mouth, slaps his brickhands for a spark and lights up the branch end.
Begins to smoke.
BRICKHOUSE
Have you ever heard of a brand parasite?
ANCIENT STAFF
...A what?
BRICKHOUSE
Suppose there is an established brand out there with a lot of visibility. Now some unknown, untested non-entity attaches itself to this brand and feeds off its glory, that’s a brand parasite.
ANCIENT STAFF
...I don’t understand..
BRICKHOUSE
Mr Rottinger, I believe there’s a superhero in your family?
Ancient Staff’s face is suddenly alert, hard.
ANCIENT STAFF
(sharply)
What do you want?
Brickhouse takes out the lighted branch from his mouth, brings his humongous brickface close to the old man’s face, and blows out smoke.
BRICKHOUSE
Call him and tell him that I’ve got you. Tell him to come and get me. Say Brickhouse is waiting by the tree.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:41 am
This was a lot of fun. I’d wish there was more time for revisions, but without a deadline I’d never finish anything!
EXT. CITY STREET -- DAY
PAUL, 20s, everyman, beams from ear to ear as he rounds a corner arm in arm with a cute YOUNG LADY, same age, also smiley. Across the busy street is the Museum of Ubiquities; its many stairs lead to a large porch held up by six massive columns. A SMALL CROWD stands around a taco truck parked on the curb in front of the museum.
PAUL
(rambling)
There it is! You’re really gonna dig this. This is my favorite taco truck in the whole city. See, it’s Thai Mexican fusion, so it’s pretty much the best of everything. I think I’m gonna have a peanut mole chicken taco.
YOUNG LADY
Exotic.
PAUL
It’s like a savory peanut butter cup -- in taco form! Or maybe I’ll have the --
Before Paul can finish, a BOLT OF BLUE ENERGY erupts from inside the museum and strikes the taco truck.
The explosion sends shrapnel flying everywhere. Paul turns his back to the explosion, shielding the young lady. A glowing orange, semi-translucent armor plate momentarily covers Paul’s back in time to deflect a piece of the taco truck.
Paul turns back to look at the scene. The taco truck has been vaporized, traffic has stopped, PEDESTRIANS are running everywhere.
PAUL
Godammit.
YOUNG LADY
Oh, my God.
Paul turns back to his date, but keeps glancing toward the museum.
PAUL
Look, I was totally gonna tell you this after we made out, but a while back I was abducted by aliens. They implanted me with all this advanced technology and told me to help people in need. So, I need you to get out of here while I go... you know, do my thing.
YOUNG LADY
What?!
Paul takes off toward the museum.
PAUL
I’ll call, I promise! Now get outta here!
The young lady starts to follow him, then turns and joins the others fleeing the scene.
EXT. MUSEUM ENTRANCE AREA -- CONTINUOUS
Paul swims on his feet against the torrent of people rushing down the museum’s front steps in a panicked, disorderly fashion. His eyes fix on something.
A man, 40s. BRICKHOUSE. Big and burly, built like a retired defensive lineman. He’s holding a short wooden staff that crackles with BLUE ENERGY.
He points the staff at one of the columns and fires a BLAST. The column crumbles, but the museum roof remains intact.
Paul runs up the remaining steps toward Brickhouse.
PAUL
What’s wrong, did they cancel the senior discount?
Brickhouse sees Paul and fires a blast. The energy bolt hits one of the support columns behind Paul. He crouches down, but gets buried beneath the rubble.
Brickhouse turns away to continue the mayhem.
BRICKHOUSE
Anyone else wanna be an asshole?
A LOW PITCHED SOUND (“BWOAM”) brings his attention back to the newest rubble pile. The bits of concrete move slowly at first, then all at once they clear away as Paul rises again. He’s covered head-to-toe by glowing orange, semi-translucent plates of energy armor. His street clothes are visible beneath the armor.
PAUL
Hey, it’s still my turn.
Paul charges at Brickhouse, zigging, zagging, rocking and rolling to avoid another blast. That doesn’t stop Brickhouse from trying, but none of his shots connect.
Paul gets in close and goes for a right cross. Brickhouse sees the punch coming and ducks under Paul’s arm, tossing him up and over.
Paul lands on his feet and kicks Brickhouse in the small of his back.
Brickhouse falls to his knees.
Paul grabs the back of Brickhouse’s head and slams it into the pavement.
Brickhouse loses his grip on the staff and it slides away.
Paul has a knee on Brickhouse’s back. He keeps a hand pressed on Brickhouse’s head.
PAUL
You finished?
Brickhouse spits a little blood.
BRICKHOUSE
You don’t know who I am, do you?
Brickhouse’s skin absorbs the appearance and properties of the pavement.
BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Name’s Brickhouse, shitbird.
Confused, Paul eases up for just a second. Brickhouse rolls over, throwing Paul into another column. It cracks but doesn’t fall.
Brickhouse goes for the staff, but Paul is on his feet quickly.
PAUL
Brickhouse Shitbird?
(beat)
I bet middle school was rough.
It’s a race for the staff. Brickhouse is ahead, but Paul moves much faster. He vaults over Brickhouse’s back and picks up the staff as he somersaults into a crouched position. Brickhouse picks up his pace.
Paul points the staff at Brickhouse.
Nothing happens.
Brickhouse laughs.
BRICKHOUSE
Doc said you gotta want it.
Paul keeps trying, but nothing happens.
Brickhouse reaches out to grab the staff, but Paul winds up and smacks him upside the head with it.
The staff splinters on contact. A WAVE OF ENERGY bursts from the staff, hurling both men in opposite directions.
The force of the blast is all the remaining columns can take, and the front of the museum falls on top of them both.
Beat.
Some rubble moves and Brickhouse emerges from the debris.
BRICKHOUSE
(calling out)
You just cost me a lot of money, asshat! This isn’t over.
Brickhouse’s skin turns back to normal and he runs away from the scene.
Paul pops up from beneath a large piece of concrete. He spots Brickhouse stomping down the street and starts to follow. A VOICE stops him.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
Help! We need help!
Paul locates the direction of the voice, then looks back at the escaping Brickhouse.
Paul heads toward the voice.
BLACK.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:54 am
EXT – WASHINGTON D.C. – DUSK
A SIKORSKY HELICOPTER is roaring across the burnt-orange sky above a blurring-at-this-speed suburban sprawl. The U.S. PRESIDENTIAL SEAL is imprinted on the chopper’s doors.
INT – HELICOPTER – DUSK
The PRESIDENT looks determined, but confused, wearing a HEADSET and being briefed while personally flying the helicopter. There are no passengers.
PRESIDENT
(into headset)
What do you mean, “ubiquities”?
AIDE (O/C)
(THROUGH HEADSET)
Things that are everywhere, sir.
PRESIDENT
In other words – “commonplace” – the opposite of... “rarities”?
AIDE (O/C)
That’s right, sir.
PRESIDENT
The “Museum of commonplace things that are everywhere”?
AIDE (O/C)
Yessir.
PRESIDENT
In Atlantic City. So what does it matter?
AIDE (O/C)
I... don’t follow, sir.
PRESIDENT
This so-called supervillain, “Brickhouse” or whatever he calls himself. Who cares if he steals a commonplace thing thats everywhere?
AIDE (O/C)
(sighs, frustrated)
Maybe it was delivered to the wrong museum... by mistake.
PRESIDENT
Instead of the “Museum of Rarities”, you mean.
AIDE (O/C)
It’s a very rare... uhm, sceptre, I think she said. An ancient staff...?
PRESIDENT
What’s it do? This ancient staff?
AIDE (O/C)
It... uh... reverses the Earth’s polarity, I think she said.
PRESIDENT
Not if I have anything to say about it.
He banks the chopper sharply, picks up speed toward ATLANTIC CITY.
PRESIDENT (CONT’D)
And I do. The voters expect it of me. Activate... a superhero of some description! Set him loose on the mean streets of Atlantic City. Take Brickhouse down, and send him to the deep dark stygian depths of Guantanamo Bay... in Cuba.
AIDE (O/C)
A superhero, sir?
CUT TO:
EXT – ATLANTIC CITY – MAIN STREET – NIGHT
...and this is where I ran out of time to write the action scene. Just as well, because I don’t really know what someone called “Brickhouse” would look like – very big? – and the only superhero I can think of including would be ASTROBOY – because he’s one of the sillier looking ones, and it amuses me. I wish I had started this earlier.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:57 am
EXT. COLLAPSED FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
WEAVER crouches behind the wreck of a tractor, the grass beneath it dead from ancient oil. He takes a puff from a cigarette, hides the flame, then peers over the tractor grill.
In the distance a farmhouse squats ugly, one wall caved in.
INT. FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
A large room panelled in oak. An enormous fireplace sputters in a corner, a solitary armchair in front of it. Seated on the armchair is a mishapen man. Everything seems... stretched. Joints connected to joints, an elongated skeletal frame. His name is HORNET.
The man holds a book between bony fingers, turning the pages slowly. Justting from the sides of his head are two enormous ears. They swivel up and we hear an irregular booming sound.
On the ceiling we see a moth mindlessly bumping against the ceiling.
The enormous ears flit down and we hear the pounding of a drum kit. We zoom in on the floorboards to reveal a tiny termite, it’s transparent heart booming.
The enormous ears swivel forward, then backwards. They pause – they flutter gently and then Hornet shoots forward, a large pickaxe THUDDING into his armchair.
At the other end of the pickaxe – Weaver, still in mid leap, his sumersault carrying him over the armchair. He lands on two feet, catlike.
Hornet takes two steps, moving faster than the eye can see and kicks off from the wall, soaring across the room, bony claws extended. He’s beyond fast, motion beyond muscles. Insectile speed.
But Weaver’s not there anymore. It’s a bitter battle as they thrash around the room. Wood explodes as their fury drives them to superhuman speed and strength. Hornet’s fast, faster than any creature has a right to be, but Weaver knows how to pick his movements. Pick his spaces. He’s somehow always a step ahead of the nightmare flashing around him.
The pickaxe explodes through the top of Hornet’s skull, driving down through his mouth and bursting out below his jaw. He drops to his feet, gurgling, nails crackling against the floor. Hornet looks up at Weaver and grins, choking on his own blood. He scrapes his jaw down the spike, forces his mouth open.
HORNET
Heezz komin. Brickshoush...
His words sputter out as Weaver jams his foot into the base of his neck and kicks him off the pickaxe with a heavy THUNK.
WEAVER
Shut up.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Weaver moves down a ramshackle hallway with no lights. His cheek scrapes the wall as he peers around a corner. Clean.
He pulls back from the wall, frowns, looks closer. There’s two slits in the wall. He tugs at them and a thin layer peels off the wall. It’s a human face, the nostril holes cut out. Weaver looks at the walls around him and sees the pattern continues all around.
INT. ROOM – NIGHT
Weaver stands near century old furniture and broken bric brac. A phonograph is on the floor, its cracks filled with dust.
He SLAMS his pickaxe into the floor and rears up, tearing a hidden trapdoor off its latches and throwing it across the room. He drops into the hole.
INT. HOTHOUSE WALKWAY – NIGHT
Weaver’s on a metal walkway suspended from iron posts nailed into a cavern’s ceiling. Far below him is a hothouse, enormous dirt pits intersected by cobblestone paths. From within each dirt pit rises a rainforest of vegetation, clawing up and braiding together into impenetrable masses.
There’s no pattern to the metal walkways high above – they intersect in chaotic patterns, echoing the randomness of the cobblesetone paths far below.
It’s almost too dark. The only light are faint firefly glows from the dirt pits.
Weaver silently leaps over the edge of the walkway.
INT. HOTHOUSE FLOOR – NIGHT
Weaver lands on a cobblesteone path without any noise. On either side are the dirt pits filled with chaotically intertwined vegetation. A blue light emnates from within the plants, and Weaver’s eyes narrow. An enormous red flower on the edge of the pit slowly opens its petals. Nestled within is a human fetus, half formed, skin fused to the fibrous petals beneath it.
An idle vine is attached to the fetuses mouth, pulsating as globes of neon blue pump nectar into the tiny malformed bodies. The flower swivels and the baby opens its eyes. And we see that the glowing blue nectar it feeds on flows freely through its body, glows from behind its pupils.
Weaver runs lightly along the winding path, listening for something. Flowers open as he approaches, revealing fetuses that open their eyes to watch his passage. Blue light flashes and dissapears as the babies slowly blink.
He rounds a corner. And sees her.
A tall woman in a torn dress, black hair flowing into a black dress.
She carries a long jar with a metal spray nozzle on the top. Bent over an open brick-red flower, she sprays misty water into the exposed face of a flower fetus. She uses a soft cloth to wipe the baby’s face afterwards, crooning softly as it nuzzle her hand.
WEAVER
Mary.
Her name is Mary. She doesn’t stop but the fetus and the flower turn to him, eyes blazing with blue fury. He walks closer. She turns and he freezes.
Her eyes are gone, plucked clean. Where they stood stand two large mishapen rocks. Dried blood-tears streak her face and down her neck, dissapear into her dress.
She says nothing. He lifts his hand then lets it fall back.
WEAVER
Mary...
As though he wants her to say something.
WEAVER
I came.
(uncertain smile)
Just like I promised.
MARY
Promised.
WEAVER
Yes!
He moves closer and she blinks at him. But her eyelids can’t fit over the rocks and they bunch like plastic against crusted blood. He raises his hand and the rocks in her eyes grate as they rotate in her sockets.
WEAVER
Jesus. What did he do to you?
She smiles and lifts her hands above her head, an hourglass figure. She tries to flutter her eyelashes but they’ve long since crusted over. She points to her eyes.
MARY
Look what he did to me. Aren’t they pretty?
He moves closer then ducks away as a flower fetus hisses at him, eyes narrowed to blue slits.
WEAVER
They’re beautiful Mary. Now give me your hand. (Beat) Please.
MARY
Please...
He takes her hand and leads her along the path to a circle of cobblestone but stops as enormous flowers open around him, revealing hissing fetuses. As more and more babies open their eyes the couple is drenched in brighter and brighter light.
WEAVER
God, what is this?
Mary looks around, and smiles but this smile’s different. Horrible. Larger than any smile could ever be, a black slit stretches up to her ears, as though someone cut her cheeks open.
MARY
These are his children.
WEAVER
Let’s go. We don’t have any time.
MARY
He’s coming...
WEAVER
Yes!
He’s squinting now, the flower fetuses congregating, their eyes blue floodlights.
WEAVER
Brickshaw...
She flinches slightly at the name, and he takes her hand, pulls it so the glass jar falls to the ground with a clatter. Serpentine hisses surround them. The light’s too bright now and Weaver jerks Mary forward.
He takes a step but stumbles. He looks down. A flower is bunched around his knee and through the waving petals he sees the fetus clutching tightly at his clothing.
He kicks but the flowers petals close tightly. A savage swing with the pickaxe severs the stalk – the fetus releases, spasms among the dying petals.
MARY
(screaming)
No!
She jerks her hand free and slowly backs away.
WEAVER
Mary!
She turns and runs into one of the dirt pits. The plants open up a path for her. Weaver is after her in a flash, too fast. He’ll catch her in a second but just before he does the plants close around him.
He’s suddenly caught, thrashing, green limbs circling him and clutching tight. Flowers open and hissing fetuses with flaring blue eyes grab hold, hook malformed fingers in his eye sockets and mouth, pull until webs of blood appear.
He’s fast. And so powerful. But for every sweep of his sharpened pix axe, for every writhing plant he sends falling and screaming, three more rise in its place.
Fury and struggle. The screams of dying fetuses in a world of agony that Weaver builds around him. But he can’t win. He stepped off the path, and he can’t win.
The roots crush his body tight, roll him to the edge, fetuses with tiny fists tangled in his hair. A space suddenly clears, and Mary stands over him, face inches from his. She smiles and the smile never ends.
She looks up suddenly and we hear, distantly, the metal walkways high above begin to vibrate. An enormous weight runs across them. Distant grunting sounds, animal, from lungs like bellows.
Mary looks down at him and smiles. He surges! Such strength! Again and again!
He stops, his breath heavy.
WEAVER
Mary...
MARY
(crooning)
Shh...
WEAVER
Please...
She strokes his face.
MARY
He’s going to like you so much.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:57 am
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
TIMMY, 10, a runt of a kid with a black eye, sits in front the big screen TV.
ON SCREEN:
An overturned police car in flames. Deadly sparks emanate from a live power line as it flits about like an angry cobra.
REPORTER (O.S.)
The Governor has called in the National Guard,
but God help me, I don’t think ---
The camera follows a trail of massive, foot-shaped depressions in the asphalt that lead --
A COP gets in front the camera.
COP
Get back! Everybody get back!
THUD! THUD!
A SWAT TEAM train their guns on...
INT. LIVING ROOM
Timmy’s eyes widen. Gulps in anticipation.
EXT. MUSEUM – SAME
THUD! THUD!
BRICKHOUSE, an eight-foot living statue, strolls out the museum with a peculiar staff in hand. He grins at the police.
BRICKHOUSE
All this, for me?
BRAT-TAT-TAT!
Brickhouse chuckles as the bullets bounce off his invulnerable hide.
BRICKHOUSE
Some people never learn.
CAPTAIN AVENGER (O.S.)
No. They don’t.
Brickhouse whips around to see CAPTAIN AVENGER, dressed in white from head to toe -- except for a black belt with an enormous ruby belt buckle.
BRICKHOUSE
Captain Avenger?!
BOOM! Captain Avenger replies with an uppercut to Brickhouse’s jaw.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Timmy bounces with exuberance as the two behemoths trade blows.
TIMMY
Get him!
Brickhouse backhands Captain Avenger to the ground.
TIMMY
Get him, Brick!
Captain Avenger touches his belt buckle. His eyes turn a fiery crimson. A blast of energy shoots from his eyes, obliterates Brickhouse into dust. Silence. Then...
A crowd of onlookers erupt into CHEERS!
CAPTAIN AVENGER
All in a day’s work, folks.
Timmy frowns. Turns off the TV.
INT. TIMMY’S BEDROOM – LATER
Timmy sleeps in bed. CLICK! The light switches on. Timmy sits up. Captain Avenger stands in the doorway.
TIMMY
Dad!
CAPTAIN AVENGER
I said, no television.
Captain Avenger unbuckles his belt.
Timmy whimpers...
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:58 am
INT. EXHIBITION ROOM 606 – DAY
Three SECURITY GUARDS rush in and position themselves so as to cut off any escape routes. Shocked and momentarily rooted to the spot, Brickhouse gently strokes the staff. The youngest of the security guards readies his gun and approaches Brickhouse carefully.YOUNG SECURITY GUARD
Freeze! Put down the staff slowly and raise you hands high, where we can see them well!BRICKHOUSE
loosens his grip on the staff and does as told, only the staff stays suspended in midair.YOUNG SECURITY GUARD (CONT’D)
What the...
In a flash, Brickhouse POUNCES on the young guard, whose gun goes off with a loud BANG! Drawing their weapons, the two remaining guards scramble for cover. Brickhouse wraps his giant arm around the young guard and makes for the door.
One of the older guards pokes out his head from behind his hiding place and assessing the situation steps out with his gun pointed at Brickhouse’s large head.OLDER SECURITY GUARD
Don’t do anything silly, sir. Let my colleague go immediately.
Brickhouse’s free hand SHOOTS upward and then forward in a forceful manner. Unrare items fly off shelves and shower the older guard, making him flinch and scuttle back into hiding. At the door, Brickhouse beckons at the staff and it floats into his grasp.BRICKHOUSE
So long. Nice weekend to all of you.
Pushing the young guard to his knees Brickhouse disappears through the door.EXT. CITY MUSEUM OF UBIQUITIES – DAY
Taking the steps three at a time, Brickhouse RACES to the getaway car and jumps in the back.INT. GETAWAY CAR – DAY
Brickhouse shoves his FACE through front.BRICKHOUSE
Let’s ride it like the Indy 500!
Arthur steps on the gas and off they go.BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
(beat)
Take us to the hideout.
SIRENS in the background, getting closer. Arthur drives wild. Right. Left. Red light. Left. Left. Right...BRICKHOUSE (CONT’D)
Hey! We were supposed to take a left just there.
ArthurSLAMS
the gas all the way down, knocking back Brickhouse by force of acceleration.ARTHUR
No we were not. Not today, friend.
Pressing one of the host of buttons on the control panel, Arthur encloses the back compartment in a shell of emblazoned steel.ARTHUR (CONT’D)
That should make you safe for the time being.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 am
ext. City Museum of Ubiquities – night
Late and quiet. A couple of cars swish by. A man walks his dog. As he passes the museum entrance, the loud smash and crash of glass sounds from inside. The man hurries on, dragging his dog.
int. City Museum of Ubiquities – night
Stars visible through a ruined skylight, above a shattered and crushed set of display cases. The grunt of a large mammal is followed by more glass shattering.
An ancient staff lies amongst shards of glass. It is picked up by a hand that makes it look like a sapling.
BRICKHOUSE, down on one knee, examines the staff in his hand, turning it this way and that. He’s very big but you couldn’t call him fat – and you wouldn’t dare.
janus(O.S.)
Why do you have to make such a mess every time I see you?
Brickhouse sneers, but it turns to a wicked smile as he looks at the staff. He slides it into a harness on his back, straightens and turns.
JANUS, relaxed and cocky, leans against a pillar. He wears a mask and dark leather outfit with an insignia of two heads facing opposite directions.
JANUS
Honestly, the city is gonna review my grant after this one.
brickhouse
So smart. Always so smart.
JANUS
You know I might just let the cops take care of you. The silent alarm’s been going since you fell oh-so-gracefully through the skylight.
BRICKHOUSE
And allow them the glory? I don’t think so.
Brickhouse grabs a statue in each hand.
BRICKHOUSE
But let’s give them what they expect.
He hurls a statue. Janus skips to the side.
The other statue sails in. Janus ducks this one – like he knows where they will land.
JANUS
I wasn’t joking about that grant!
More antiquities whip through the air towards him, each missing by inches.
JANUS
You know you can’t hit me, I can see everything coming --
Not this – behind an incoming sarcophagus is Brickhouse, locomoting straight into Janus. Brickhouse lifts him off the ground, roaring.
They barrell towards and crash through a wooden railing --
dropping through the air to the level below, onto --
an early man display with an almighty crash.
Brickhouse stands and moves back. He takes the staff from his back. Janus, prone amongst the busted early men, groans theatrically.
JANUS
Was that necessary?
BRICKHOUSE
Do you know what this staff does, Janus?
JANUS
Nets you a fortune?
BRICKHOUSE
Not quite. It grants unfettered adoration.
Janus rises from the rubble.
JANUS
Big words for a big man.
They move around each other cautiously.
BRICKHOUSE
So cocky. So sure. But do you know what it is to be despised? To have to steal like a common thief? Of course you don’t. You are the beloved saviour of the city. Well no more. We’re switching.
For the first time, Janus looks worried.
BRICKHOUSE
I’m going to make you hated, Janus. I’m going to make you a villain.
Janus sprints forward, but Brickhouse grabs him by the neck with his free hand, hoisting and choking him.
As Janus struggles, Brickhouse holds the staff to his forehead and whispers strange syllables.
The staff hums, then flashes.
Janus relaxes. Brickhouse lowers him. Janus stares up at him lovingly.
BRICKHOUSE
So Janus. What is your real name?
JANUS
My name is Jeffrey Jackson, Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
Of course. Welcome to the other side... hero.
With Janus still gazing at him, Brickhouse turns and charges at the wall, crashing through it into the night outside.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:00 am
EXT. ROOFTOP – NIGHT
Insects buzz under the light of a street lamp. Nearby, a large bug flies past a billboard along the rooftop. Abruptly, it begins franticly flying straight up and down, as if against a window pane.
A CLICK and then a soft HUM are heard, and the “window pane” becomes visible: NIGHT SHADOW, a man covered head to toe in dark nylon, with silver goggles covering his eyes. He brushes the bug away.
Night Shadow scans the streets below – deserted.
NIGHT SHADOW
Still nothing.
(sighs)
That’s the last time I take an anonymous tip.
Night Shadow clicks a device attached to his hip and is invisible once more.
A loud CRASH is heard from the streets below. A LARGE MAN carrying something runs down the street and ducks into a narrow alley.
Night Shadow de-cloaks and races along the rooftop.
NIGHT SHADOW
Spoke too soon.
He grabs a pipe along the side of the roof for balance and drops to the alley below.
EXT. MAIN ALLEYWAY – NIGHT
Night Shadow somersaults forward as he hits the pavement. He looks both directions – nothing. Cloaks again.
NIGHT SHADOW’S POV
A rusted dumpster at one end of the alley. An overturned shopping cart at the other end. But no people and no sound.
Night Shadow slowly heads towards the shopping cart. A metal CLANG is heard from the other end. Night Shadow turns and approaches the dumpster.
EXT. NARROW ALLEYWAY – NIGHT
Night Shadow de-cloaks with his back against the wall, opposite the dumpster. He pulls a STUN GUN out of a pouch and rapidly spins around the corner, gun raised.
Nobody there.
Gun still drawn, Night Shadow takes a few steps forward, then a large man CRASHES through an adjacent boarded-up window, tackling him.
The gun falls out of his hand and slides under the dumpster.
Night Shadow scrambles to his feet to see BRICKHOUSE – an enormous dump truck of a man, holding an ancient jeweled SCEPTER.
NIGHT SHADOW
Brickhouse!
BRICKHOUSE
Nice night, huh Shadow?
Brickhouse lunges at him, but Night Shadow manages to duck underneath his outstretched arms in the narrow alley. He rushes towards the dumpster and sticks his arm underneath it. But Brickhouse turns towards him, and Night Shadow stands up to face him, empty handed.
Brickhouse rushes him again, and Night Shadow greets his opponent with a jump kick right on the chest, but Brickhouse just takes a step backwards, unfazed.
BRICKHOUSE
Huh.
Still clutching the scepter, with his free hand Brickhouse hurls a crate of newspapers at Night Shadow, narrowly missing. Brickhouse tries to grab his foe, but Night Shadow side steps and gets behind him. Brickhouse blindly swings the scepter like a club behind himself but only hits air.
NIGHT SHADOW
The staff of Mazaeus – what use is it to you?
Night Shadow tries to cloak, but is knocked aside by the backfist of Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
Here’s one!
Night Shadow dodges another swing of the scepter. He scrambles back to the dumpster and again feels underneath it for his weapon, but in vain.
Brickhouse checks his wristwatch, and rushes his foe again. This time Night Shadow doesn’t escape, and is slammed against the wall, his cloaking device making a CRUNCH sound. Brickhouse reaches up to rip a plank of metal from the fire escape above his head, and, now armed with two clubs, swings down at Night Shadow, but he manages to roll away. Brickhouse kicks the dumpster end over end, spilling trash everywhere, but Night Shadow avoids this too.
Night Shadow sees his gun at the feet of his enemy and dives for it. Brickhouse swings his club but misses. Night Shadow draws his gun but Brickhouse has already disappeared behind the corner. Night Shadow stumbles to his feet.
NIGHT SHADOW
Oh no you don’t.
EXT. MAIN ALLEYWAY – NIGHT
Night Shadow rounds the corner of the main alleyway to see Brickhouse running for the main street. Police SIRENS are heard in the distance. Gun drawn, Night Shadow gives chase.
EXT. MAIN STREET – NIGHT
Night Shadow spots Brickhouse dashing down the sidewalk. He takes aim with his gun, but Brickhouse knocks a stop sign back towards him, and he has to dodge.
Brickhouse runs another block, past the Museum of Ubiquities, then cuts down another alley. Night Shadow pursues – he is gaining on him.
The police sirens are getting louder.
EXT. DEAD END ALLEY – NIGHT
Night Shadow turns the corner. Brickhouse, still clutching the scepter, gasps for breath, his back to a bridge. Stun gun fixed on him, Night Shadow slowly approaches.
NIGHT SHADOW
You’re getting careless, House. Risk getting caught over a relic?
BRICKHOUSE
(still panting)
Could say the same for you.
NIGHT SHADOW
You’ve lost. Just give it up now, huh?
The police sirens are getting closer. Brickhouse checks his watch again. He smiles and backs up towards the edge of the bridge.
A loud train WHISTLES its approach from under the bridge.
NIGHT SHADOW
No, wait, don’t...
Night Shadow rushes towards Brickhouse.
BRICKHOUSE
Here, catch!
Brickhouse tosses the scepter at Night Shadow. As he fumbles to catch it, Brickhouse falls backwards over the railing of the bridge. Night Shadow rushes to the edge, only to see Brickhouse on top of a train car rapidly racing away. Night Shadow looks back at the relic in his hands.
POLICEMAN (O.S.)
Police! Don’t move!
Startled, Night Shadow clicks the device on his belt. Nothing happens.
POLICEMAN (O.S.)
Hands in the air! Now!
Click, click. No invisibility.
Night Shadow sighs, lowers his head and raises his hands. He turns to see four POLICE OFFICERS with guns drawn.
The scepter, still in his hands, shines brightly under the flashing police sirens.
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:03 am
INT. MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES – DAY
The Staff of Return: Glorious. Gold. Thousands of years old.
From the domed skylight above, a HAND -- balling up into a fist -- SMASHES through the glass.
BELOW
TOURISTS SCREAM and scramble. Swelling the exits.
THE HAND
plumbs the floor filled with ancient artifacts. Searching. The Staff of Return is plucked from its display and lifted through the broken skylight.
EXT. MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES – DAY
The Museum doors burst open and the throng of Tourists spill down the steps.
From behind the building, BRICKHOUSE, a giant sunovabitch that looks not unlike Mike Myers’ Fat Bastard, looms -- the Staff of Return between his fat fingers.
A Woman shrieks:
WOMAN
He’s got the Staff of Return.
A MAN beside her escapes down the street...
MAN
We’re doomed.
A Helicopter buzzes the rooftops.
INT. HELICOPTER – SAME
LT. AUGUST takes a bead on Brickhouse’s face. He SEES the Staff of Return.
LT. AUGUST
Shit.
Lt. August lowers his insanely wicked looking (and powerful) rifle.
LT. AUGUST
If he breaks that Staff we’re screwed.
INTERCUT
Brickhouse sucks at his teeth. He SPITS a nasty, wet gob that -- when it lands -- engulfs a Mercedes Clk 350.
The Crowd reels back in disgust. A CHORUS of EWWW’S results.
Brickhouse uses the Staff to pick at his teeth.
LT. AUGUST
What the fuh--
Lt. August flips down an X-RAY VIEWER from his helmet: the scene is in Negative.
LT. AUGUST
Let’s see where we can nail this bastard.
Lt. August scans Brickhouse’s frame: normal human anatomy. His brain pea-sized -- was he human sized before?
LT. AUGUST (V.O)
Imagine. This guy used to be human sized before.
BACK TO SCENE
Brickhouse swats at the Helicopter. The Helicopter arcs against the breeze of a near-hit. Lt. August GRABS hold of the Helicopter door, almost loosing himself to the street below.
HELICOPTER PILOT
Sorry.
LT. AUGUST
Get us parallel.
Brickhouse has found what he was looking for: a dog (still alive!) between his teeth.
The Staff of Return scrapes a layer of tarter from Brick’s tooth with its diamond head.
The Dog ARFF-ARFF’S as the Staff presses against his belly.
Lt. August takes aim at Brick’s ear.
The Dog is jettisoned by the flick of the Staff... he flies through the air, his little legs giver.
Lt. August takes the shot: WHAH-BANG!
The Dog lands safely in the arms of BEN AFFLECK.
The bullet travels through Brickhouse’s head like a termite through a two-story duplex.
Brickhouse flicks the Staff from his fingers.
The bullet jerks. Makes a hard left turn.
The Staff sticks safely in the sandy beach.
The bullet STRIKES Brick’s spinal cord. Stops dead.
Lt. August steps from the helicopter. Watches as Brickhouse’s face sours. He goes limp. Wilts to the ground.
HELICOPTER PILOT
Is he dead?
LT. AUGUST
I dunno.
EXT. BEACH – DAY
Summer. CHILDREN frolic. TEENAGE BOYS splash their TEENAGE GIRLFRIENDS. OLD PEOPLE read. And seated in an enormous wheelchair, Brickhouse. His fat lips sucking on a telephone poll-sized straw.
Lt. August wake boards behind a speed boat driven by the Helicopter Pilot. Lt. August looks up at the dumb giant...
LT. AUGUST
Silly fat bastard.
From above, a GIANT SEAGULL blots out the sun. And a White Blob from its... SPLATS, melted marshmallow-like, against Brickhouse’s back.
BRICKHOUSE
Can someone get that?
July 23rd, 2009 at 8:03 am
I don’t care what John says, Donovan is the winner in my book!