Question sprint
A bunch of interesting questions have backed up in the queue, so let’s see how many we can get through while waiting for the new iPhone to be announced.
I’m currently outlining a spec feature, 98% of which takes place at the Superbowl. I’m on the fence about proceeding, however, because a few creative executives I’ve pitched the idea to were concerned about 1) the production costs and 2) the need to secure the NFL’s approval. One of the execs did say, however, if the NFL took to the script and got involved it would be a potential dealmaker.
While the production costs aren’t as much of a concern for me (given that those particular naysayers hadn’t gotten past the logline), the seeming make-or-break nature of the NFL’s involvement is a bit daunting. Before I take the plunge from outline to first draft, do you think it’s worth the risk?
– Patrick
Los Angeles
Yes. If you believe in the story and the characters, go for it. If a producer or executive likes your script, she’ll be smart enough to the realize that the NFL of it all can be figured out. 1
At a USC workshop this weekend, a student asked me about writing a spec Alien vs. Predator. I gave him roughly the same advice — if you think you can write a kick-ass version of it, don’t let the potential unmake-ability of it deter you. My caveat to him was that in the case of AVP, it’s a really tired franchise, so you’re starting with a significant enthusiasm gap. Better to make your own mythology.
I’m about to re-write a script that I’ve been working on for a little while now. It’s a small character road trip drama in the spirit of 1970s American films (e.g. “Five Easy Pieces”, “Coming Home”, “Sugarland Express” — though not all films referenced there are road trip movies). This is my do or die draft — if it’s no good, then I will abandon it. But I’m hoping that some of your advice will help me avoid that outcome.
My concern is that too many of the scenes right now are overly reliant on dialog and I don’t want to tread into unnecessary exposition. At the same time, I want to be able to reveal character and backstory (and obviously, dialog plays a huge part in that). Do you have any general pointers on how to balance scenes (or sequences) of relatively quiet character moments, with the overall dramatic push that’s necessary to maintain tension? I want to make sure that both aspects remain compelling.
N.S.
Los Angeles
There’s nothing wrong with dialogue scenes if they’re moving the story ahead, or enjoyable enough on their own merits. But I suspect you’re finding that a lot of your dialogue scenes are telling us backstory about your characters, and the thing is, we just don’t care.
That’s hard to hear, but you need to hear it: except for crucial, story-twisting revelations, we simply don’t need to know more about who your characters were before they walked on screen.
So before you start that next draft, take a red pen to any chunk of dialogue that isn’t about what’s happening now. Be brutal. I suspect you’ll find that you have a lack of action and some unclear goals that were hiding behind the chatter.
The movies you cited, along with more recent ones like Lost in Translation, Sideways and Little Miss Sunshine, are all good examples of movies that are talky without ever becoming expositional. Characters talk about what they want, what they fear, but they never dwell on what happened. And each movie finds moments to be quiet. Long stretches of each film play as montage, letting the characters do things without commenting on them.
Let’s say you’re working on a script that’s based on a musician. He’s a fictional musician, so you’ve never heard anything this guy’s produced. As the story unfolds, we watch him build up his song. Is it okay to include the song? Or would that just kill everything and shut the reader down? I guess what I’m asking is, do you include lyrics or just leave them out and hype him like he’s as great as the supporting cast says he is?
– James
Give us lyrics. You’ll want to abbreviate a bit — cut out chorus repetitions, for starters. But it feels like too much of a tease to omit the words altogether.
Often, when I am diligently working on a script, or close to being finished on a script, I find my mind and writing meandering to other ideas. For instance, I’ve written several drafts on a thoughtful spy movie and have an extensive set of notes (from peer review) I plan to implement. Instead of completing the script, I spend time thinking and making notes on new ideas — a drinking road trip film and a sentimental father-son story.
Is this a natural way for new and good ideas to develop or am I merely avoiding “finishing” a project for fear it will suck? Not being a professional, yet, I’m not bound by deadline to turn something in…but how does a disciplined, professional, writer deal with this issue of…distraction?
– Greg
The script you haven’t written is always better than the one you’re staring at, cursor blinking, its flaws so obvious that you can’t believe you ever started writing it. That doesn’t change over the course of a career. You will always want to be writing something else.
You’re left with two choices: toughing it out, or changing horses mid-stream.
Look at your spy movie, and ask yourself, “If this script had just landed on my desk, would I be excited enough by the possibilities to do this rewrite?” If the answer is no, feel free to investigate one of your other projects.
Granted, there are times you’ll really need to force yourself to finish a new draft. For instance, if you’re getting paid, or if you’ve promised a draft to someone whose opinion matters. And don’t mistake pragmatism for laziness: If something is difficult but do-able, do it. Not only will you improve the script, but you’ll learn something in the process.
The time to move on is when reaching the “best version” of your script ceases to be interesting to you.
- On the other hand, if she doesn’t like your script, the NFL factor is an easy explanation for why she’s passing. Which saves face for everyone. ↩
Filed under: Psych 101,QandA,Rights and Copyright,Story and Plot,Writing Process
Articles
June 9th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Again, John, your analysis of your fans’ questions are flawless…thanks for making this site. And I hope your wedding goes well!
June 9th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Re: the second question (N.A.), I don’t know if John August would agree but Robert McKee’s advice on this topic is that to the extent the exposition is necessary — Dramatize it. Yeah, you could just have your character talk about some issue, like how she hates her father (or whatever) while another character sits and listens, but it’ll probably much more exciting if the information comes out as a natural part of an argument or otherwise dramatically written scene.
June 9th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
One of John Logan’s first screenplays was about the NFL, but he gave it a good pitch: King Lear in the NFL (it became “Any Given Sunday”).
On Robert McKee, he gives a brilliant piece of advice – a quote from Aristotle – that is similar to what John said about need vs. want: Why a character does something is of little consequence once we see what he has done. In “Thelma and Louise”, we need to know that Louise was raped because it explains so much about her actions, but we need no backstory to explain why Thelma robs the convenience store.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Re: the last question, that’s exactly what happened to me while I was working on my second draft of my most recent script. I didn’t ignore the idea, but I used it — as motivation to get my rewriting done so I could get started on the next one.
June 9th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Separate topic but equally valid:
The 3G iPhone? Has Steve Jobs punched the loyal followers in the mouth again?
I know it’s supposed to be faster, etc etc…but the whole idea of AT&T only subsidizing NEW contracts only…
If they needed new customers so much, why couldn’t they have done it from the beginning?
Just sucks that I coughed up 400 and signed a two-year deal – AFTER waiting a year for the madness to subside – and I still end up getting hit with “early adopter disease.”
June 10th, 2008 at 2:07 am
@ rick:
I completely agree with you, and in that sense, with McKee. Generally, dramatizing the backstories works a hell lot better for me than dialogue. Very often do certain movies employ the technique of montage depicting the character “doing something”, but what she actually “does” is not disclosed, until at some point later she reveals it in a dialogue. Generally it is a very clever thing that she just did. That’s when I feel, hey I was just robbed of wonderful dramatic action! In such cases, I believe the writer has taken the easy way out, for exposition is always “easier said than done.”
The opposite, however, is also true. Sometimes meaningful dialogue can reveal so much critical information, at such a critical juncture in time, in so deceptively simple a way, that (screen-)writing seems to be the only thing worth living for. McKee himself cites the examples of Chinatown (“She is my —– and daughter”) and Star Wars II (“You can’t kill me Luke, I am your —–”). The insight gained is rapturous.
Oh life is such an enchanting paradox!
June 10th, 2008 at 2:55 am
I always did want to write “Alien V”…
June 10th, 2008 at 7:42 am
I so agree with John’s advice on the NFL project. Think what would have happened if Charlie Kaufman had worried about the makability of Being John Malkovich (and that was a far bigger stretch). The Any Given Sunday example Scott mentioned raises another great point — when it’s shot, it doesn’t have to be the real NFL and depending on the story, the NFL branding may not even be necessary. But even if it is, I’d forge ahead. Someone else may see your vision even if these particularly people didn’t.
@ Rick, I agree with McKee’s point on this generally, but this is a case where I think following his advice too closely can be limiting. Lost in Translation doesn’t follow that rule but it still works because all that talkiness creates story movement. Before diving back in to work on the dialogue, I might look at your concept and plot development to make sure they really are strong enough, since the problem might originate somewhere else even though it’s showing up as a dialogue problem. Since it’s a road movie, Transamerica might be another good example for you to look at — it’s quiet, there’s plenty of talky scenes, but there’s also plenty of (quiet) action that pushes the story forward and pushes the characters forward on the road.
@ Scott, thanks for the McKee/Aristotle quote. That one’s going to make a difference in my writing day today. Thanks!
June 10th, 2008 at 7:42 am
RE: The NFL question.
Does it need to be the NFL Superbowl? Could the story still work at the fictional Megabowl? Or how about another sport entirely.
June 10th, 2008 at 7:44 am
@ Andy #7:
Me too. I wrote an “Alien sequel” outline back in 1996 (before Resurrection). It was completely insane. But the basic idea was… the Aliens’ home planet was Earth – millions of years ago. The film would have taken place in Antarctica. Ridiculous idea.
Years later, I saw “Alien vs Predator”. Where’s it set? Antarctica. Grr…
June 10th, 2008 at 7:48 am
@Leif (#9):
The idea of fictionalizing the league was in Patrick’s original question, but I trimmed it for length. Yes, you could change it, but no reason to do so before it’s necessary.
June 10th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Earl, if you just got it (since may 27) they are offering a free upgrade. If you got it earlier, you have my sympathies. There are many mac rumor and news sites, I’d definitely recommend checking them out before making any mac or iPhone/ipod purchase since updates to those products are generally known and discussed months in advance.
June 10th, 2008 at 8:38 am
James,
As a screenwriter & rock musician I agree with John from a ‘really into it’ perspective. It doesn’t matter whether its a fictional musician or not… watching them learn where their lyrics come from almost IS the insight that makes their story. That is to say, Immortal Beloved will show you the music the man will make, before it fully shows you the man… and in HUSTLE AND FLOW, its pretty incredible watching him sit on the curb and say the words, “Its hard out here for a pimp” for the very first time. Doesn’t matter who you are, or how awful he is, you just plain get him. Music is the unifier. (But the person NEEDS to CREATE it… see the (ninjesque and personally sincerely respected) Mark Wahlberg in ROCKSTAR for a filmic example of what happens when your musician never writes his own words.)
Look at: Serge Prokofiev. — You already know what Peter and the Wolf sounds like… but picture what he was seeing outside the conservancy-school window in 1910… losing his father, moving in with grandfather (the bassoon), and the Russian flags rising (‘the wolf’ & french horns). (guess we know what I’m writing.) The point is… If act 2, is trials… then the source of our music is act 2 as well.
-Synthian
June 10th, 2008 at 10:05 am
In refrence to the last question… another option would be, since you have no deadlines, go on and explore the other ideas and come back to your spy thriller in 3-4 months. You’ll have a very fresh look on it and it could work for the best. It may not work for everyone but I’ve done it before and it’s worked pretty good for me.
June 10th, 2008 at 11:26 am
“The script you haven’t written is always better than the one you’re staring at, cursor blinking, its flaws so obvious that you can’t believe you ever started writing it. That doesn’t change over the course of a career. You will always want to be writing something else.”
Truer words never written. I have the last sentence mounted on my desk…
June 10th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
@ JM (#15)
absolutely! resonates with experience..
John, just taking the point a bit forward, do you also think along the same lines of finished screenplays? Do you always believe ‘Ah! I could have done that otherwise!”? Or do you also get the feeling of immense satisfaction from a work and think “that’s the best I could do..” ?
June 11th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Words to write by. :-)
June 11th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Mr. August and readers,
Many thanks for the advice about my NFL script