Can’t stop writing
All I want to do is write! I write on the bus to and from work, I stayed home last night (Friday night) to write. I hate it and I love it and if I couldn’t write I would probably be in a mental institute. So what’s the problem?
It’s really difficult to strike a balance between this writing addiction and my social life. I even went so far to tell my boyfriend that when I write it is comparable to a junkie shooting up, so he better stay away from me when I am trying to get my fix. I’ve written seven feature screenplays and I’m 23 years old. I can’t stop even though sometimes I feel like I’m possessed by some sort of writing hobgoblin.
My question to you is does this insanity subside a little when you are a professional writer? Have you experienced the write or die phenomenon or am I some sort of freak? I’ve heard about feeding your passion but sometimes it feels like my passion is feeding on me! Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself extremely fortunate.
– Lu
Obviously, I’m not a psychiatrist. Even if I were, it would be improper to diagnose your condition based on an email. But I will anyway.
You have hypergraphia.
It’s an actual, real thing: the overwhelming urge to write. Alice Weaver Flaherty wrote a whole book on it, The Midnight Disease
To many screenwriters who struggle to get words on paper, what Lu describes sounds like more of a blessing than a curse. Who wouldn’t want to have written seven screenplays at 23? But keep in mind that just because Lu is writing a lot, doesn’t mean she’s writing well. (If she had written in to complain, “I just can’t stop winning awards for my writing,” we could all feel free shunning her.)
The key terms in her email that let us know what she’s encountering is not altogether positive are “mental institute,” “junkie,” and “possessed by [a] hobgoblin.”
Yes, I’ve gone through periods where I can’t put the pen down. My brain gets locked on an idea, and I have to keep scribbling, often into the wee hours of the night. But it’s a now-and-then thing, not a debilitating condition.
While Flaherty leaves open the question of exactly what causes hypergraphia, my strong hunch is that it’s a form of focussed mania. You’re dealing with the buzz of energy by putting pen to paper — and for a while, it seems great. But the pendulum very often swings the other way to depression, which has its obvious negatives.
My advice to you, Lu, is to do a little life assessment. Block out significant hours — and whole days — where you’re not allowed to write, or even think about writing. See how it goes. My suspicion is that you’ll be climbing the walls, and may decide to see an Actual Mental Health Professional for further guidance. The goal isn’t to get you to stop writing, but to control it, rather than it controlling you.
December 5th, 2005 at 11:35 am
Yeah, the whole “write or die phenomenon” does seem to point toward some sort of mania.
To me, writing has always been about solid groundwork and gradual completion. I’m the same age as Lu, and yet I can’t boast of a single finished screenplay. That’s not to say that I’ve been idle. Things are beginning to take shape, but at my own pace.
Festina lente, as they say. Sure beats slaving under some writing hobgoblin!
December 5th, 2005 at 11:56 am
A very astute answer to Lu’s question, John. I have a medical background (as a writer, not a physician), and I think your advice to her is first-rate.
Love your blog, BTW.
December 5th, 2005 at 12:40 pm
I love to write. Unfortunately, after a couple of decades I’ve come to hate the sitting-down-and-typing part that I used to be able to do for hours on end.
There is, alas, no way to disconnect one from the other.
December 5th, 2005 at 1:52 pm
Funny, this was the plot point to a CSI episode last week. I thought, gee, if only I could have hypergraphia for like a week or two, then I could finish my novel. But then, I’d be kinda crazy and that’s not so much fun.
December 5th, 2005 at 2:11 pm
I have a slightly different problem. I can’t stop writing poorly…
December 5th, 2005 at 3:52 pm
I’m similar to Stephen in the sense that whenever I write ANYTHING it has to be on paper, in longhand first. Editing is different, of course, but even when I’m reading a script, or doing a rewrite I MUST print it out (every draft I work on) and write on the paper as I go. Me and teh computer have an understanding. We’re there for each other in the final stages, but other then that we don’t get along. Except to download music and po… um. But, I’ve been in the same “writing addiction” before, and in all honesty I LOVE a deadline hovering over my head because it forces me to sit night and day and write. And I love that. However, recently, my co-writer and I turned in a draft and I was left with nothing. It’s such a withdrawl the first day (kinda like not having a cigarette ALL day). But, then the second day roles around, and you kind of finally feel a release. It’s funny.
But, I’m also the writer who NEEDS my co-writer because he fires things up off of our ideas, and then I can jump into it. I NEED deadlines, because otherwise I would be to easily distracted with things like NFL stats, and myspace.
So, here is a salute to my disease, my co-writer, and deadlines!
December 5th, 2005 at 8:47 pm
I formulated my own original screenplay in late 2004, and got to work writing the first scene in September of that year.
The problem is, I have no comprehension of an original plot. I have the vehicle. . . just no destination. How am I supposed to make a screenplay original and fresh, in terms of storyline, and not in content?
December 5th, 2005 at 9:38 pm
Does anyone have the film rights to Ridley’s story?
December 6th, 2005 at 12:43 am
I think the question for Lu is, What is “the writing” keeping you from facing/dealing with?
And an important, perhaps less serious question: Are you writing anything GOOD??
December 6th, 2005 at 7:39 am
I have the opposite problem with writing utensils, Rock. I can’t stand writing anything longhand. It’s slow, my handwriting’s atrocious, and it’s too hard to go back and change things around when I realize that a sentence (or paragraph) was a real clunker.
I’m with you on the deadlines and writing partners though. They help keep my ADD in check.
December 6th, 2005 at 10:19 am
Writing is tough. Good writing is close to impossible. I believe it was Ernest Hemingway who said that “The first draft of anything is shit.”
I’d imagine that Lu feels special when she’s writing. The question is whether anyone {ELSE) feels special when reading her work. I’m not sure about that… her email is too short.
Also, writing and storytelling are two very different beasts. I recently saw a DVD - Visual Storytelling with Iain McCaig. (Disclosure: I had a few drawing courses back in college). Seeing Iain telling a story through pictures was a magical experience - there’s obviously a lot of talent and practice going into that first “draft”. I’ve never seen that in a writer though, maybe it’s something reserved for visual storytellers.
December 7th, 2005 at 9:11 am
I always assumed that you needed to write to actually get good, so this must be a good disease…as long as you can keep it under control. But if she’s anything like me with movies then I doubt that’s really possible. Who would want to give up their obsession anyway?
December 7th, 2005 at 11:02 pm
I’m no psychologist or shrink either, but I think Lu’s underlying question is “Why do I have 7 finished scripts and nothing to show for it?” As John mentioned, if she were constantly winning awards we wouldn’t be here feeling a little sympathy for her “disorder.” I suspect if she were out selling her scripts, her compulsive writing problem might just go away. And come to think of it, wouldn’t that make her a professional writer?
December 9th, 2005 at 1:00 pm
The other question for Lu to consider is how much of her writing time is spent rewriting and editing. That would be time spent on the path to good writing.
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:27 am
i think any writing is good writing.I think writing is beautiful.