Words on the page

I’ve improved so much just by reading your website and IMDB posts. So a heartfelt thank you, sir.

My question is cultural, when it comes to dialogue. I’m from India — Bollywood. Been here, in Los Angeles, for three years. People who’ve read my scripts (Hollywood scripts) like ’em except the dialogue. After a lot of research, I understand how to write American “lingo”, but….

I have no clue when to use “I’ve” as opposed to “I have,” “You’re” as opposed to “You are.” In recent movie Bad Santa even word “Okay” on subtitle was “‘Kay”.

The usual internet response to this kind of basic question is: “If you don’t know the difference, you shouldn’t write.” Obviously, I disagree. Why? ‘cuz you don’t give up when you’re 23.

I know, most help on this on the internet is towards American writers. But, I was schooled in English, all my life, but a British school. I have better command over the English language than many here, and I hate when they say “We understand, English is your second language,” cuz of my dialogue.

And honest to God, your teachings with upcoming Bollywood writers is Godsend. All my friends there visit your website.

–Raj
Los Angeles

I’m happy to get readers anywhere. According to my web log statistics, India falls at number 16, between the
Philippines and Mexico. So to all my Indian readers, welcome.

I share your frustration with the “if you don’t like it, then leave” attitude of far too many Americans, whose concept of internationality begins and ends at the namesake house of pancakes.

There is a difference between “you’re” and “you are” as used in American English. Unlike spoken French, where consonants sort of attach themselves to the nearest convenient word, an American speaker either says “you are” or “you’re.” It’s not just spoken laziness.

For dialogue purposes, here’s my advice:

1. The contractions we’re talking about are basically pronoun + helper verb (to be, to have, or would). If this contraction precedes another verb, use the contraction. “I’ve told her not to talk with anyone.” “You’ll see what I mean.” “He’d be a fool to listen.” In the context of the scene, the character might speak both words for emphasis or parallel construction: “Believe me, I am regretting it now.” “You would think that, wouldn’t you?”

2. By the same logic, American English leans towards the n’t verb negation. “I didn’t understand at the time.” “You shouldn’t have come.” There may be instance where you want to emphasize the “not,” such as, “You should not mock the Moccasin Man.” And don’t stack up contractions. “You wouldn’t have known” is fine. “You wouldn’t’ve known” is fussy and awful.

3. Only “to be” contracts if there’s not a following verb. So, “I’m sorry.” But not, “I’ve a reservation.”

4. Don’t use ‘cuz. “Because” is a word that’s naturally shrunken down by the reader. The short version feels like a zit.

5. “Gotta,” in the sense of “got to” or “have to,” is pretty common in American dialogue — but don’t use it in normal prose. “You’ve gotta be kidding me” or “I gotta get to the store by five” are both a little idiomatic, but read well.

6. There are probably a few dozen other words that are fine in some circumstances, dreadful in others: gimme, shoulda, kinda, sorta, etc. If in doubt, spell it out.

Hope this helps.

I think my biggest writing challenge is creating good dialog that helps define and develop my characters.  How do you approach writing dialog and what methods have you found to be effective to help develop a character’s voice?  Do you read your dialog with someone else, or do you prefer to work it through by yourself?  Do you have specific actors in mind when you write dialog?  How much is changed or influenced during the production process?

–Doug
Orange, CA

Doug wrote “dialog” instead of “dialogue,” which prompted me to look up what the real difference is between these words. It turns out they’re equally valid, though the short version makes me bristle for some reason. I guess I associate it with HyperCard “dialog boxes,” rather than things actual people say.

However you spell it, dialogue is what most people think of when you say screenwriting. It’s certainly the most apparent of all screenwriting attributes; bad dialogue is always noticed.

To me, movie dialogue is what real people would say if they could take a few seconds to think between lines. It’s faster, more direct, with much less filler than normal speech.

There’s actually quite a range to what counts as good movie dialogue. The quippy and clever banter in a romantic comedy would sound terrible in Lord of the Rings, while that movie’s stoic speechifying would be deadly in a modern drama. What matters is that there’s a consistency within the movie. In more than one recent film, I could tell when one screenwriter wrote some lines, and another the rest. It bumps.

The most important thing to keep in mind when writing any dialogue is that someone has to say it. Just because a line looks great on paper, that doesn’t mean it will work in an actor’s mouth. So it’s important to speak it aloud, both as you’re reading it and afterwards. As a rule, I won’t write any line of dialogue without speaking it several times to make sure it flows. Even as I’m typing this answer, I’m talking under my breath to listen for the rhythm of the sentence.

If I know which actor is playing a given role, I certainly tailor the dialogue to suit his strengths — at least as I perceive them. For instance, I did a few days work on [The Rundown](http://imdb.com/title/tt0327850/) specifically so I could write things for Christopher Walken to say. A lot of times, you worry about going over-the-top, but with Christopher Walken, there is no top. It’s quite liberating.

You have to expect that some dialogue will change during production. Almost always, the line the actor comes up with will be worse than the one you wrote. But the end result is better than having an actor trying to say a line he really doesn’t feel or understand.