John August

Words on the page

Writing what can’t be shot

Charlie, Dead Projects, QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkI was wondering what your thoughts are about occasionally adding exposition into action lines, when it can’t be explicitly shown on screen.

For example:

The room bursts out in laughter, which quickly turns into applause. A few EXECS standing at the back of the room smile to each other, and nod their heads in amusement. The publishing wunderkind, #29 on Forbes’ Top 30 under 30, has done it again! The pleased crowd begins to disperse.

Since this information isn’t actually going to be shown to the audience in the scene, is it bad form to add it in? Or is it helpful in giving the reader a quick sense of the character and making the action lines a little less dry?

— Isaac Aptaker

Your specific example probably wouldn’t be to my taste. Once you have the people in the room smile, laugh, applaud and nod, it’s hard to justify another line to underscore the point again.

But in general, yes. Used judiciously, these for-the-reader-only snippets are fine. I often find myself using them when introducing an important character for the first time.

From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

Mother Bucket is an ever-exhausted woman in her late 30’s, run ragged from taking care of Charlie and the four invalid grandparents. Many nights, she’s too tired to worry, and too worried to sleep.

From Barbarella:

FINNEA (29) comes up to Barbarella at the podium, and hugs her in a sisterly but somewhat obvious manner, as if trying to share her spotlight.

While Barbarella could be compared to the wildflowers she paints -- joyful, open and a bit scattered -- Finnea is like a cultivated rose. She’s very beautiful but very focused. And one suspects there are thorns to protect her.

Nothing in these descriptions is directly cinematic, but it gives the reader (and the director, and the actor) a much better idea of the intention. Just make sure that you’re never confusing these blips of exposition with real character work. Movies are about what characters do and say, not who they were before the story started.

Of course grammar matters

QandA, Words on the page

questionmarkThere is a question I’d like to ask. Regarding grammar on screenplays, how important is it to film companies, producers, studios, etc. I was under the impression, grammar can’t be filmed, so ? Your thoughts.

— Frederick

I’m generally of the school that there are no dumb questions, but I think your question is dumb enough to merit front-page attention. It’s also functionally ungrammatical, which gives it a nice bonus for irony.

Of course grammar matters.

It’s bizarre and saddening that aspiring screenwriters will agonize about the perfect margins and the proper number of brads (two), without ever considering whether a question mark might be appropriate at the end of a question. Or inappropriate at the end of a vaguely declarative statement.

True, grammar can’t be filmed. But scripts are read by people, not cameras. And people deserve the best writing you can muster. That means matching your subjects and verbs, watching your tenses, and practicing careful punctuation.

Bear in mind: as grammarians go, I’m pretty lenient. [English is not Latin](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2005/english-is-not-latin), and many of the so-called [mistakes](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2005/non-errors-in-english) are really just the opinions of stubborn jerks.

But wrong is wrong. And yes, it matters.

Your question was originally posted in the comments section of another entry. A helpful reader pointed you to my [lengthy missive](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2006/professional-writing-and-the-rise-of-the-amateur) on professionalism, which unfortunately did not meet your needs:

It didn’t answer the question. It made a vague reference to presentation and professionalism. Which means, studios, producers will assume it’s great. This is really an annoying question because it puts people on the spot about their education, grammar is at all time low in America and no one wants to discuss it. I hope I’m not dropping a bomb here.[…] He was aiming for inspiration. Inspiration isn’t an answer.

If I ever start a line of subtly demoralizing t-shirts, I now have my first slogan: “Inspiration isn’t an answer.”

What does “calling bullshit” actually mean?

Words on the page

From comments on [Why the Matrix trilogy ultimately blows](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2006/why-the-matrix-trilogy-ultimately-blows#comments):

This from the guy who brought us “Charlie’s Angels”. Guess what? I’m calling bullshit too.

— Aaron Giles

Knock yourself out, Aaron. But I don’t think you really understand what “calling bullshit” means.

You may not like the Charlie’s Angels movies — hell, I don’t particularly care for the second one — but the fact that I wrote them doesn’t lessen my ability to point out sucky things about the Matrix sequels. I have the right to call bullshit, and so do you. But I think you’re doing it wrong.

Not that I can say exactly what “calling bullshit” means. There’s probably no perfect definition, but to me it involves pointing out inconsistency (or worse, hypocrisy) in a person’s statements or actions. If you do a Google search on the phrase, that’s how it’s almost always used.

And here’s where I think Aaron went awry: you can’t just call bullshit and not back it up with something. If he’s going to say that I played obscurity for depth in one (or more) of my films, the proper form would be to give examples along with the bullshit-calling.

Otherwise, he’s just swearing.

The word escapes me

Words on the page

For the past few months, I’ve been at a loss for word. Not _words_, but one very specific word. It refers to knowledge that would only be known by people in a specific group. One would use it thusly…

“The distinction between italic and oblique is obvious to a type designer, but is frankly a little too _blank_ for everyone else.”

I really needed the word. But I couldn’t remember it.

I started asking people, smart people, if they could help me figure out the word. No one could.

I Googled “pertaining to a specific group.” I got page after page of words, but not the right one.

I was 90% sure the word started with ‘e.’ So I actually went through the dictionary, page by page, looking at every entry for the letter ‘e.’

But I couldn’t find it.

Then last week, while walking through an almost empty theatre, I heard someone say something magnificent: _esoteric._

From the American Heritage Dictionary:

es•o•ter•ic (es-uh–ter-ik) adj.

Intended for or understood by only a particular group: an esoteric cult. See synonyms at mysterious.
Of or relating to that which is known by a restricted number of people.
Confined to a small group: esoteric interests.
Not publicly disclosed; confidential.

I have no idea what the person was talking about. I just heard that one word, and felt the relief of an agonizing itch being scratched. I immediately emailed myself the word, just in case.

Just today, I found a [Reverse Dictionary Search](http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml) site, which I’ve already bookmarked for the next word I can’t remember.