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QandA

How to format an on-screen note

June 2, 2009 Formatting, QandA

questionmarkSomething I have to deal with at least three times in the screenplay I’m currently working on that I have NO idea how to do. A character is handed a postcard, note or reads a list. Cue insert shot for audience to read-along. An example:

Dear Dad – okay, it’s better than I expected.

There have been some interesting developments

but I still miss baseball. I still want to visit you

in Florida.

Love, your son, Nathan.

How on earth do you format something like that in Final Draft? The few screenwriter friends I have are similarly perplexed by this, simple though the answer may be.

— Tim
Brooklyn NY

Pretty much answered here: [Formatting text shown on screen](http://johnaugust.com/archives/2005/formatting-text-shown-on-screen). ((Folks, try the Answer Finder.))

First off, if you’re doing it “at least three times,” you’re doing it too much. Audiences don’t go to movies to read. Limit yourself to once, and keep it short.

If a character reads the note aloud (either on-screen, or in voice-over), just keep the text in his dialogue block. You may want to italicize it for clarity.

If the audience needs to read it, try using dialogue margins with no character name — if your screenwriting software will allow you. Otherwise, break it into lines roughly the width of a dialogue block and center them. Again, italics may help.

A sharp-eyed reader may prove me wrong, but in 30+ scripts, I don’t think I’ve ever had a block of text the audience needed to read. It’s something you can almost always write around.

How much does a short story earn in a magazine?

June 1, 2009 Follow Up, Genres, QandA, The Variant

questionmarkWould a writer of your stature have made more by publishing The Variant in a literary magazine?

— Brett

I really had no idea what people were getting paid for short stories, so I asked Matt to dig up some numbers based on [The Variant’s](http://johnaugust.com/variant) 7,123-word length.

These are rough and gathered from feedback writers give to [duotrope.com](http://duotrope.com) and various publication websites. If any short story writers have more firsthand information, please share.

Matt chose a range of literary and genre magazines — but to be honest, I’m not sure The Variant would have found a home in any of them, with or without my name value.

Literary magazines
—–

* The New Yorker: $7,500 (estimate based on Dan Baum’s
[tweets](http://www.danbaum.com/Nine_Lives/New_Yorker_tweets.html))

* Kenyon Review: $356 ($.05 per word)

* New England Review: $230 ($10 per page)

* Ploughshares: $575 ($25 per page)

Genre magazines
—–

* Asimov’s Science Fiction: $427 ($.06 per word)

* Strange Horizons: $356 ($.05 per word)

* Carve (Raymond Carver): $20-50

Given these numbers, I doubt I would have been better off trying to get The Variant into a printed magazine. It made less than $1,000 in its first week, but it will be available online — and earning money — for at least the next few years. And if a reader likes the short story, it’s much easier to send a link to a friend than a printed story.

Pixar

May 28, 2009 Film Industry, QandA, Travel

I flew up to Oakland yesterday for a lunchtime lecture and Q&A at Pixar. And wow. It’s really nice up there.

If I had to work in an office, I’d work there. It combines everything I like about Dreamworks/Amblin (lunch, toys, a noticeable lack of evil) with everything I’ve read about Google (daylight, servers, smart people on scooters). They even showed me the secret cellar where they mine joy.

My presentation was on Expectation as it relates to story. It was brand-new material that I was trying out for the first time, and I was fairly happy with how it went. Once it’s in a bit better shape, I’ll post some of the lecture on the site.

As frequent readers know, my geekery is almost limitless, so it was great to be able to ask questions about 32-bit color spaces and whether model articulation and prop interaction relied on message-passing. Sample inquiries: If an animated character picks up a can of soda, does that can of soda become part of the character’s domain or does it remain a separate object? (Answer: the latter.) If an explosion casts light, is that handled by VFX or the lighting department? (Lighting will probably get the last word.)

Many thanks to the Pixar folks for good questions and better answers. And a special thank you to Stephan Bugaj and Michelle Lindsey for setting it up.

Kurtzman and Orci on Trek and writing together

May 27, 2009 Adaptation, Film Industry, Story and Plot, Writing Process

My assistant Matt went to the Writers Guild Foundation event in Beverly Hills last night featuring [Roberto Orci](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0649460/) and [Alex Kurtzman](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0476064/), and took notes for readers who couldn’t make it.

Take it, Matt.

The Writers Guild Foundation hosted and coordinated the ticketed event, which was ably moderated by [Paul Attanasio](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001921/).

Working first as assistants for Sam Raimi on his Xena and Hercules series, the then twenty-three year old Orci and Kurtzman broke in early but struggled to get past the stigma of the fantasy genre until they met J.J. Abrams. Abrams appreciated their ability to give “A treatment to B material” and brought them onto Alias. The success of that relationship lead to work on Abrams’s Mission Impossible 3, Fringe (which they co-created), and Star Trek.

Collaborations with Michael Bay include The Island, Transformers and its upcoming sequel. They produced Eagle Eye (with Steven Spielberg) and the Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds comedy The Proposal.

The ninety-minute talk to a theater nearly full of writers and a sprinkling of suits, notably Stacey Snider and her posse from Dreamworks, covered collaboration, craft and the creative process.

The partners also defined a new-to-me screenwriting term: the structurefuck.

But most in attendance were there to ask (and gush) about the duo’s latest hit, which elicited some story lessons worth sharing.

Nero
—-

Nero’s storyline in Star Trek was much longer in both the script and the shoot. Much was left on the edit room floor. Nero was tortured by Klingons, had to wait out twenty-five years somewhere and spit out bitter monologues, etc. All but one shot was cut from the final version. They found in post that anytime they took the story away from the heroes it sagged. Nero served only as a force to bring everyone together. The more screentime spent away from Kirk and Spock, the more defocused the movie became so they reeled him in significantly in post.

Lesson: Sequels are for villains; origin stories are for heroes. Heroes determine structure. In further support, Alex Kurtzman offered the example of Iron Man, which he said was all about Robert Downey Jr. and the suit he forges. As for what Jeff Bridges was up to? No idea. Didn’t matter. Good as he may be on screen, we’re really just waiting to see Downey in the suit again. (Not much Vader in Star Wars Episode IV compared to The Empire Strikes Back come to think of it.)

Kirk n’ Spock
———-

Kurtzman and Orci researched heavily, studying partnerships – Lennon and McCartney, Billy Wilder and I.A. Diamond, for example — to explore why the core relationship of Kirk and Spock worked so well creatively for the series. Like Lennon and McCartney, both Spock and Kirk lose a parent. It’s something fundamental and shared that allows for a connection even with the contention and heated power struggle. Halfway through writing the first draft, Kurtzman and Orci discovered their own relationship as friends and writing partners had infused itself into the Kirk and Spock dynamic.

Destroying Vulcan
——-

The writers felt they had to tie in the current climate and break from the past in a visually and emotionally dramatic way. Destroying Vulcan felt to Orci like seeing 9/11 and the Holocaust all at once. While that was said in jest, I think, the sentiment and desire to break this movie out from the era of the series was genuine. Something radical needed to happen.

Why does Spock get the girl?
——

It was a visual way to show Spock’s choice: his human/mother’s side had won out over his Vulcan side. It compressed Spock’s arc and made the writers love Uhura more for making the unexpected choice while messing with audience expectations.

Finally, for those interested in process, it took five months to break the story and two-and-a-half more for them to write it.

Advice for the aspiring
——-

Mop floors, do anything you can to get inside and “reveal a surprise.” At age 23, the partners fetched coffee for the producers of Xena and Hercules. They wrote a spec episode and had it ready when the time was right. Wasn’t quite good enough but they were given an episode to play with and when the showrunner left, they were given the helm. They were twenty-four.

Kurtzman noted that P.T. Anderson was a PA smoking outside a set and started chatting with Philip Baker Hall. They hit it off, which lead to Hard Eight. In short, move to Hollywood, look for your moment and be ready when luck strikes.

Once you’re working, see studios as clients not villains out to ruin your art. Learn to love the process of rewriting. Be married to the sprit of words but not the words themselves. Often the studios have forced them to get beyond the “kernel” of the story in the first draft to explore new avenues and ultimately improve the story. (Notably, there were no horror exec stories typical of writers’ panels.)

How does their partnership work?
——

They’d met in high school but it wasn’t until after college when they began editing each other’s love letters that their partnership began. Neither had any idea how to write, but they were able to expose embarrassing parts of themselves without worrying about being judged or “thrown in a locker.” Each has their strength – Kurtzman at creating moments and Orci on the macro story elements.

They’ve been writing partners for 17 years. They credit that success to treating their relationship with the care of a marriage and applying some of the same addages: Don’t go to bed angry. Make sure one side doesn’t feel like they’re doing all the heavy lifting. Respect strengths and weaknesses.

UPDATE
——-

To structurefuck is to disrupt a linear narrative by playing a scene twice in order to achieve a surprise reveal upon second viewing of that scene. The idea being to plant information in the audience’s heads early, when they’re likely to accept it as truth. When the scene plays again later, you alter (or “fuck with”) the perception of fact and force the audience to reevaluate the story by ripping off a mask or showing that the gun shot a blank or that the heroine actually dodged the bullet and didn’t fall to her death but was hanging naked by a bed sheet caught on a piece of glass.

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