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Introducing off-screen characters

March 2, 2005 Formatting, QandA

questionmark Ok, I have a question. Opening scene, no characters introduced yet and I’m starting close on a pair of hands with a short dialogue over. We then widen to the characters that are speaking.

Since all we see are hands, would you designate any of the dialogue as (O.S.) or is that just too much of a “duh” situation? If yes, would you designate both of the characters or just the one we see no part of? Example…

INT. HOUSE – DAY

A PAIR OF ROUGH HANDS open a fresh pack of cigarettes.

CAIRO (O.S.)

Can I get one of those?

JULES (O.S.)

Do I look like I like to share?

JULES, 64 and confined to his bed, removes his oxygen tube and puts the unlit cigarette to his mouth. Blah, blah, blah, grabs a lighter, blah.

Share your wisdom, oh great one.

— Doug
New Orleans

The way you’re doing it is fine. I might be a bit more specific in the last line:

As the hands lift a cigarette to the man’s lips, we REVEAL:

JULES, 64 and confined to his bed. He pulls off his oxygen tube. Flicks open a lighter.

Related Posts

  1. The challenge of writing good dialogue
  2. Story first, then characters
  3. How much research does it take?

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