Australian John AugustIn an article published today, one of the other John Augusts argues persuasively that the states should be abolished.

Before you take up arms against him, you should know that he’s Australian, and he’s talking about “states” like New South Wales and Queensland. Which sound like made-up Risk territories, if you ask me.

It’s important that you not be confused by the other side’s rhetoric. For instance, listening to them you might think all of the members of Beyond Federation

  • are cheering Howard;
  • hail from Whitlam;
  • claim a monopoly on wisdom;
  • only have advocates in New South Wales and Victoria;
  • ignore the need for independent regional initiative;
  • refuse to acknowledge population differences within Australia;
  • and are “centralists”.

I have no idea what this means.

Ever since I first fired up Netscape lo these many years ago, I’ve been following the career of this other John August like he’s my long-lost brother. (He’s not, incidently.) I’ve seen him posting in scientific Usenet groups. Once, he even acknowledged that there’s an American screenwriter with whom he shares a name.

But what to make of his desire to abolish the Australian states? Is he a Socialist, a conservative, a progressive, a forward-thinker, a wacko? I don’t know, because I have zero understanding of Australian politics.

From the picture, he looks like a friendly sort, capable of telling jokes that a specific subset of friends would find hilarious. (For instance, people who know Monty Python backwards-and-forwards.) Also worth noting: he seems to have more hair than he knows what to do with. I do not.

I guess I’m saying, I want him to be good. I don’t need an evil twin. That’s what my subconscious is for.

His name is my name, too