:)

The Reader – On Ice! Slumdog Millionaire – On Ice! Oprah – On Ice! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – On Ice!

man, i wish i could sell all my stoned, haze of smoke, ideas too!

maybe it was the matching jawlines of keira knightly and the predator that sparked the idea

I’m hoping for a tense scene in which a young housekeeper sees a group of bloodsucking aliens coming through the front door but can’t tell the family because it’s not her place to speak.

Then, something goes horribly, horribly wrong, and Alfred Molina and Jean Reno show up as awesome, Jules-Verne alien hunters!

Just how mannered are these people? Just how rock-solid is Kiera’s ideas about love and romance? Just how much of a man is the Meyers character, or Ralph Feinnes for that matter?

For my money, Keira winds up marrying Fiennes for totally different reasons than she thought she would, and they become part of a secret society of elite Victorian adventurers, sucked in by the combined awesomeness of Molina and Reno.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers winds up just not being up to the alien-stomping rigors of the plot – but his actions have some real consequences. He’s not a dandy, and he never figured himself a coward. All the same, when push came to shove, Feinnes and Meyers both surprise themselves.

The trick is not to lose the period piece in the action. Every idea comes down to execution, and I would be so stoked to watch the movie I just described – so long as it takes its actors seriously.

In fact, I’d love to see the sequel, in which Keira Knightley, Ralph Fiennes, Alfred Molina and Jean Reno risk it all on a journey into the dinosaur-infested bowels of the earth to find… umm… something important? Something with real-world Victorian consequences…

Under Siege – Die Hard on a train.

Executive Decision – Die Hard on a plane.

Air Force One – Die Hard on a plane, but the President is John Mclane!

Paul Blart, Mall Cop – Die Hard with a fat guy.