How to handle unknown narrators
I have a character that I would like to voice over a letter, but she hasn’t been introduced yet and the character getting the letter doesn’t know her. Would I just name her “Woman” at this point?
– Tyson Koss
Fort Collins, CO
Yup, she’s just a woman. Or more specifically, a WOMAN’S VOICE.
Dan rips open the envelope, removing a folded sheet of paper and a key he doesn’t recognize. The note is handwritten, and addressed to him.
WOMAN’S VOICE
If you’re reading this letter, there’s a very good chance I’m dead. And there’s a very good chance you will be too, unless you follow my instructions exactly.
I generally omit the (V.O.) in this situation. It’s redundant.
Articles
February 20th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
This is probably a question necessitating its own “Ask a Screenwriter,” but for the first time in five years as a working writer, I find myself writing a scene that’s pitch black, just voices in total darkness. Is the dialogue (V.O.), (O.S.) or something else, like PETE’S VOICE or PETE (THROUGH DARKNESS)
I know any way that’s clear to the audience is acceptable, but I’m curious what other people do specifically. Just curious…
E
February 20th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
@Eric:
In those cases, I always go with PETE’S VOICE.
February 20th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
I would just describe the scene as being completely black in the first line of action and then dictate the characters as you normally would. For example (sorry about the formatting, too lazy to hunt down and dl scrippets):
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Pete walks into the living room. The lights are out so it’s completely dark, Pete can’t see an inch in front of him.
PETE Who turned out all the lights?
RE-PETE Who turned out all the lights?
PETE In the Soviet Union the lights turn out you…
February 20th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Also, I realize it was a bit presumptuous of me to post that after John answered, didn’t notice that was you who replied to Eric, sir. My bad.
February 20th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Should you consider localisation into other languages when deciding to use a V.O.? Or is that something that you leave to whoever does the foreign language translations? Having the whole letter appear in subtitles may not always work.
February 20th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Thanks John, and to everyone else for the other examples. I ran into the dark screen with dialogue situation at one point, and now have a better idea how to handle that should it come up again. Two tips, one question! Much obliged.
February 20th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
John,
Seems like another point where it’s a matter of understanding that you want to control the experience for your reader. If you want them to experience an unknown female narrator, then telling them the narrator’s name is going to work counter to that. With the way you recommend, you can really make your reader feel the surprise when he realizes somebody he’s watching on screen has also been talking to him all along.
February 21st, 2009 at 11:07 am
@ Eric,
The opening scene of The Insider has a great description of total blackness. It’s different than what you envision (no v/o dialogue), but nicely written and may give you some ideas of how to combine John’s advice (PETE’S VOICE, which is also how I do it) and Nick the Great’s advice of also using an action line to introduce it (which is also what I tend to do, especially if it’s the opening scene — though, once you’re sure the style you’ve chosen is acceptable, always go with what reads the best).
@ Philip M,
Don’t need to worry about how things will play in subtitles. Not your job.
February 21st, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Thanks, all! good tips indeed.
February 21st, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I guess this is late since it has been answered already by John, but I keep characters undefined until they are defined if (and only IF) there’s a reason to keep the character undefined. (If that makes sense).
If Pete is in the next action paragraph, I introduce him, because he is about to be introduced anyway. If the owner of the voice will stay in obscurity for a while, keep him/her as “VOICE” for now. Think cinematically.
Will the audience know in this scene that Pete is Keiser Soze? Call him Keiser Soze. Is it supposed to not matter the audience now? Give him/her a different nomer. Just keep in mind “what does the audience see”?
February 26th, 2009 at 6:42 am
I just wanted to say that I was literally coming here to search the archive for the answer to this question. And it’s right on the front page. My regards to serendipity. And thanks for maintaining this resource, John.