No, my friend. No. You just took everything I’ve worked for for the last 20 years and threw it in the garbage.

That’s okay, I wanted to be a screenwriter anyway, not a preschool teacher.

John, does the Whitney guide cover Burbank as well?

Ben, do you mind if I ask which school you chose and/or which ones you think we should avoid? Thanks.

You have to check each school’s stated philosophy, but they probably can be divided into two simplistic categories: teacher-guided or student-guided instruction. Do they (basically) sit the kids in a room with a bunch of options and let the kid decide what he wants to focus on and then they help him with it, or do they give a structured, scheduled learning experience.

Rather than decide which one of those is better or worse, the key is to know your child. My three yr old daughter craves structure, idolizes teachers and loves to be the teacher’s pet. She can survive in a Montessori-style free learning situation, but she does much better when following the teacher.

We recently got accepted at our preschool of choice, and there is nothing more stress-relieving that realizing we don’t have to go through this again for another 8 years.

Except if the school went to the 12th grade. That would be awesome.

RED

Unfortunately because early childhood education has (up to this point) been regarded in America as a market and not a matter of public service, parents really have to be on their toes about where to put their kids. The majority of preschools and child care centers are utter disasters, so you might want to side-step those.

When looking for preschools, consider your own world view first. How do you view your child? What are your aspirations for him or her, and what are the things you and your family value? Preschools should reflect the broader culture and values of the community – you definitely want yours to reflect who you are.

Visit preschools and ask about their philosophy – ask about their image of young children. Are they instructivist or constructivist (teacher-led or child-driven) in their approach with children? Are children empowered, curious individuals, or vessels to be filled with teacher-chosen knowledge? Is their curriculum predetermined months in advance (out of a box), or does it emerge with the children’s own interests? Do they emphasis process or product? All of these are pretty important continuums that you have to figure out where you, and your desired preschool, fit on.

How do teachers and school administrators view the environment – as a calming home-like environment or a regimented school-like one? Are the children’s lives represented in the classroom, is their artwork on display, are children’s conversations and thoughts documented and reflected back to them through the environment? How do they regard and handle transitions during the day?

Also, how do they view Play? How much free play time are the children given? Are teachers able and trained to sustain, facilitate, and scaffold this play into deeper experiences for children?

Preschools aren’t always about sniffing glue and cutting apple shapes out of construction paper during the Fall time… in fact, the good ones almost never are about that sort of thing. (Especially the glue sniffing.) Ultimately, I think the biggest determinant of the quality of a preschool may just be how much thought the school, teachers, and staff give to the Big Question of “What is this all about?”

Also: distance from home/work is crucial with preschool because you’re going to make the drive twice a day –so if it’s 5 miles away, you’re going to drive 20 miles a day and spend prob over an hour a day in dropoff and pickup, and you’re going to do that most likely within a 3 hour period (unless you’re lucky enough to have a nanny to do it for you).

To Illustrate:

We’ve been at 2 preschools now (they’re both preschool-only). The first (as described above) was a zoo, and the administrators seemed barely capable of getting through a school day; whenever I picked up my kid the principal looked like she was about to tear off to the nearest tavern, just to calm down. I asked her opinion of where I should send my kid for elementary school; she might as well have finger-babbled, buh buh buh buh buh.

The place we’re at now: Huge contrast. It has very energetic administrators, people who know all the private schools in town and actually personally know the headmasters at a lot of them. The manager put together an information session on where to send your kid next, and Fiona Whitney (of the Whitney guide) was the speaker. These are the kind of people can guide you, who can say, “I know your kid pretty well, and I think X, Y, and Z are places you should look at.” People who can make recommendations for you, who can bring you to the attention of admissions people at the schools you’re applying to next. People who can help you manage the convoluted process of applying to magnet schools, recommend not just the most prestigious private schools but also ones you might not have thought of, and who are actually vocal boosters for certain non-magnet public schools.

They helped us pick and apply, and we got into a great pre-K-12 that we’re excited about. I’m not from LA originally, I didn’t know shit about the schools here; it was great having the help of professional and passionate school administrators. (Anyone who’s interested give me a shout and I’ll email you the preschool’s info. In addition to having great people running it, it’s a great little school – fun, warm, laid-back, well-organized, unsnooty.)

So, my point is: think about that.

Best part about this: My agent, who hasn’t helped my career one iota (I’ve gotten all of my jobs through my own connections), told me that he’ll “work harder” for me now that I’m a father.

Dude, where ya been the last 10 years??