Comments on: Simple is better than accurate http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate A ton of useful information about screenwriting. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 07:11:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Tim Keating http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-154908 Tim Keating Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:38:11 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-154908 <p>This dovetails nicely with a core game design principle we like to espouse here in the office, to wit:</p> <p>"Fuck realism"</p> <p>TK</p> This dovetails nicely with a core game design principle we like to espouse here in the office, to wit:

“Fuck realism”

TK

]]> By: mike http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-151317 mike Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:31:34 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-151317 <p>I still think "cacao" would have been fine.</p> I still think “cacao” would have been fine.

]]> By: Tiny Writer http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-151195 Tiny Writer Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:10:19 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-151195 <p>Thanks for posting the scene, Mr. August. I'm sorry for the obnoxious tone of my previous post, I didn't mean to sound at all snarky or condescending. I am very much a great admirer of your work.</p> <p>In recent years, i've become obsessive about eliminating word repetition from my scripts as much as possible. But, as the above example illustrates, sometimes you just can't.</p> <p>However, I think I found one superfluous cocoa bean in the above scene. :)</p> Thanks for posting the scene, Mr. August. I’m sorry for the obnoxious tone of my previous post, I didn’t mean to sound at all snarky or condescending. I am very much a great admirer of your work.

In recent years, i’ve become obsessive about eliminating word repetition from my scripts as much as possible. But, as the above example illustrates, sometimes you just can’t.

However, I think I found one superfluous cocoa bean in the above scene. :)

]]> By: John http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-151015 John Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:30:53 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-151015 <div class="screenbox"> <li class="sceneheader">INT. OOMPA-LOOMPA CHIEF’S HOUSE - DAY [PAST]</li> <li class="action">His knees at his Adam’s apple, Wonka scrunches in to share a meal with the OOMPA-LOOMPA CHIEF, who looks exactly like all the other Oompa-Loompas, except for his ornate headdress. </li> <li class="action">The Chief is mashing caterpillars with a mortar and pestle.</li> <li class="character">WONKA’S VOICE </li> <li class="dialogue">The Oompa-Loompas kept looking for other things to mash up with the caterpillars to make them taste better -- red beetles, the bark of the bong-bong tree -- all of them beastly, but not quite so beastly as the caterpillars.</li> <li class="action">The Chief offers Wonka a taste of the caterpillar goo.</li> <li class="character">WONKA’S VOICE (CONT’D)</li> <li class="dialogue">But the food they longed for the most was the cocoa bean. </li> <li class="transition">TRANSITION TO:</li> <li class="sceneheader">INT. OOMPA-LOOMPA CHIEF’S HOUSE - VARIOUS</li> <li class="action">In a series of QUICK SHOTS, we see just how much the Oompa-Loompas worship the humble cocoa bean. They wear head-dresses in its shape and dream about it in floating thought bubbles.</li> <li class="character">WONKA’S VOICE</li> <li class="dialogue">An Oompa-Loompa was lucky if he found three or four cocoa beans a year. But oh, how they craved them. They used to dream about cocoa beans all night and talk about them all day.</li> <li class="transition">BACK TO:</li> <li class="sceneheader">INT. THE CHOCOLATE ROOM - DAY </li> <li class="action">In a meadow by the river, everyone but Augustus listens to Wonka’s story.</li> <li class="character">WONKA</li> <li class="dialogue">The cocoa bean happens to be the thing from which chocolate is made. So I told the chief...</li> <li class="transition">BACK TO:</li> <li class="sceneheader">INT. CHIEF’S HOUSE - DAY </li> <li class="action">In elaborate, unlikely sign language, Wonka “talks” to the Chief. (Wonka’s dialogue is subtitled in English.)</li> <li class="character">WONKA </li> <li class="dialogue">Come live in my factory. You can have all the cocoa beans you want! I'll even pay your wages in cocoa beans if you wish!</li> <li class="action">The Chief considers for a moment, then eagerly shakes Wonka’s hand.</li> </div>
  • INT. OOMPA-LOOMPA CHIEF’S HOUSE – DAY [PAST]
  • His knees at his Adam’s apple, Wonka scrunches in to share a meal with the OOMPA-LOOMPA CHIEF, who looks exactly like all the other Oompa-Loompas, except for his ornate headdress.
  • The Chief is mashing caterpillars with a mortar and pestle.
  • WONKA’S VOICE
  • The Oompa-Loompas kept looking for other things to mash up with the caterpillars to make them taste better — red beetles, the bark of the bong-bong tree — all of them beastly, but not quite so beastly as the caterpillars.
  • The Chief offers Wonka a taste of the caterpillar goo.
  • WONKA’S VOICE (CONT’D)
  • But the food they longed for the most was the cocoa bean.
  • TRANSITION TO:
  • INT. OOMPA-LOOMPA CHIEF’S HOUSE – VARIOUS
  • In a series of QUICK SHOTS, we see just how much the Oompa-Loompas worship the humble cocoa bean. They wear head-dresses in its shape and dream about it in floating thought bubbles.
  • WONKA’S VOICE
  • An Oompa-Loompa was lucky if he found three or four cocoa beans a year. But oh, how they craved them. They used to dream about cocoa beans all night and talk about them all day.
  • BACK TO:
  • INT. THE CHOCOLATE ROOM – DAY
  • In a meadow by the river, everyone but Augustus listens to Wonka’s story.
  • WONKA
  • The cocoa bean happens to be the thing from which chocolate is made. So I told the chief…
  • BACK TO:
  • INT. CHIEF’S HOUSE – DAY
  • In elaborate, unlikely sign language, Wonka “talks” to the Chief. (Wonka’s dialogue is subtitled in English.)
  • WONKA
  • Come live in my factory. You can have all the cocoa beans you want! I’ll even pay your wages in cocoa beans if you wish!
  • The Chief considers for a moment, then eagerly shakes Wonka’s hand.
    • ]]>         By: Tiny Writer http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-151004 Tiny Writer Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:01:27 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-151004 <p>I dunno, Mr. August. While I only have a dim memory of the scene in question, and with all due respect, a six-time mention of cocoa still seems a trifle high to me.</p> I dunno, Mr. August. While I only have a dim memory of the scene in question, and with all due respect, a six-time mention of cocoa still seems a trifle high to me.

    ]]>         By: Christopher Coulter http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-150710 Christopher Coulter Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:28:59 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-150710 <p>Agree wholeheartedly. Polly want a Cacao? Cacao sounds like a verbal slip, a mispronunciational goof, it doesn't roll off the tongue, just doesn't work period. </p> <p>Everyone has a general idea of cocoa beans, why quibble with being obnoxiously picky? The story flows, the general idea is met, it be but make-believe fantasy, chocolate could be made from anything in Wonka's world, mowed grass or rotting cabbage, Dahl just happened to go froth-whip run-on explainer mode, which is something you can do in the literatureish format, in film, that's an oxygen-swoosh-away death sentence. As for "mistrusting" and all such neurotic comparisons, reality doesn't really apply, in the everlasting gum universe.</p> Agree wholeheartedly. Polly want a Cacao? Cacao sounds like a verbal slip, a mispronunciational goof, it doesn’t roll off the tongue, just doesn’t work period.

    Everyone has a general idea of cocoa beans, why quibble with being obnoxiously picky? The story flows, the general idea is met, it be but make-believe fantasy, chocolate could be made from anything in Wonka’s world, mowed grass or rotting cabbage, Dahl just happened to go froth-whip run-on explainer mode, which is something you can do in the literatureish format, in film, that’s an oxygen-swoosh-away death sentence. As for “mistrusting” and all such neurotic comparisons, reality doesn’t really apply, in the everlasting gum universe.

    ]]>         By: John August http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-150616 John August Mon, 21 Jul 2008 04:57:15 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-150616 <p>A few notes and further observations:</p> <ul> <li><p>As far as I can tell by Googling, before this article, not a single viewer mentioned the switch from "cacao" to "cocoa." </p></li> <li><p>As it turns out, "cocoa bean" is the term preferred by the <a href="http://www.worldcocoafoundation.org/tree-to-table/default.asp" rel="nofollow">World Cocoa Federation</a>, though most artisanal chocolatiers still prefer "cacao."</p></li> <li><p>Wonka refers to cocoa beans so much because it's how the Oompa-Loompas came to live at his factory.</p></li> </ul> A few notes and further observations:

    • As far as I can tell by Googling, before this article, not a single viewer mentioned the switch from “cacao” to “cocoa.”

    • As it turns out, “cocoa bean” is the term preferred by the World Cocoa Federation, though most artisanal chocolatiers still prefer “cacao.”

    • Wonka refers to cocoa beans so much because it’s how the Oompa-Loompas came to live at his factory.

    ]]>         By: pepe http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-150205 pepe Sun, 20 Jul 2008 08:14:43 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-150205 <p>When I see "simplifications" like cacao / cocoa, I just assume the filmmakers are dumb.</p> When I see “simplifications” like cacao / cocoa, I just assume the filmmakers are dumb.

    ]]>         By: Tiny Writer http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-150149 Tiny Writer Sun, 20 Jul 2008 04:42:00 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-150149 <p>The better solution would have been to not have Wonka say either cocoa or cacao in the same scene six times. That feels wildly unnecessary. How about him saying cacao correctly just the once?</p> The better solution would have been to not have Wonka say either cocoa or cacao in the same scene six times. That feels wildly unnecessary. How about him saying cacao correctly just the once?

    ]]>         By: Dave in DC http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-150027 Dave in DC Sat, 19 Jul 2008 04:22:06 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-150027 <p>Must also disagree with the august Mr. August. This argument seems predicated on John's declaration that the word cacao is "weird." Says you. I understand and agree about the dramatic problem of dealing with an overly repeated word, but shouldn't one have faith that the actor can manage to convey the proper meaning? Especially when the actor is Mr. Depp.</p> <p>Also, maybe it's a case where more work is needed to make an explanation entertaining and authentic. While screenwriters aren't exactly responsible for the general stupidity of the American public (re: Sean's Al Bundy story), we're all generally responsible for seeing that truth carries the day.</p> Must also disagree with the august Mr. August. This argument seems predicated on John’s declaration that the word cacao is “weird.” Says you. I understand and agree about the dramatic problem of dealing with an overly repeated word, but shouldn’t one have faith that the actor can manage to convey the proper meaning? Especially when the actor is Mr. Depp.

    Also, maybe it’s a case where more work is needed to make an explanation entertaining and authentic. While screenwriters aren’t exactly responsible for the general stupidity of the American public (re: Sean’s Al Bundy story), we’re all generally responsible for seeing that truth carries the day.

    ]]>         By: Grumpy http://johnaugust.com/archives/2008/simple-is-better-than-accurate/comment-page-1#comment-150004 Grumpy Sat, 19 Jul 2008 01:19:17 +0000 http://johnaugust.com/?p=1067#comment-150004 <p><i>Worse, cacao is confusing. It demands explanation...</i></p> <p>If only there was room for an explanation like, "The cacao bean happens to be the thing from which chocolate is made." ;)</p> <p>As Scott suggested, this begs the reply: "Don't you mean 'cocoa'?" To which Wonka elaborates, "It's not cocoa until it's processed."</p> <p>The extra beat might serve to demonstrate Wonka's chocolate wizardry, except that it's the wizardry of basic vocabulary. The same way Scarecrow stating the Pythagoras Theorem is supposedly shorthand for genius.</p> <p>Which reminds me: does "isosceles triangle" count as simplicity, or was that plain inaccuracy?</p> Worse, cacao is confusing. It demands explanation…

    If only there was room for an explanation like, “The cacao bean happens to be the thing from which chocolate is made.” ;)

    As Scott suggested, this begs the reply: “Don’t you mean ‘cocoa’?” To which Wonka elaborates, “It’s not cocoa until it’s processed.”

    The extra beat might serve to demonstrate Wonka’s chocolate wizardry, except that it’s the wizardry of basic vocabulary. The same way Scarecrow stating the Pythagoras Theorem is supposedly shorthand for genius.

    Which reminds me: does “isosceles triangle” count as simplicity, or was that plain inaccuracy?

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