Comments on: How to introduce a character

By: Gumby

Gumby — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 22:37:36 +0000

The Burke line is a good intro for the character because it implies how snaky we will find him to be. He has already sized-up Ripley and has chosen a point of attack he knows she wants to hear.

She's already had some unproductive discussions with others from the company and he knows she won't respond to him if he comes across as another. Instead, he exploits this knowledge and comes across as the "Nice Guy At The Company", the one who is on her side.

But, he IS just another company man, and he's simply playing good cop, here. It seems on-the-nose, but it's still completely effective, efficient and character-motivated, so I don't think it's bad writing. That doesn't mean there aren't other ways to've handled it, but I think it's a good line for his character's first.

By: preyer

preyer — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 00:47:49 +0000

‘Itâ€™s as if some writers think that by acknowledging that something is bad it becomes good. (Of course I canâ€™t think of other examples at the moment, but there are plenty.) ~ i can think of a dozen examples and yet not remember the name of any of the movies they came from. maybe i purposefully forgot. it’s the, ‘this is like out of some bad horror movie!’ line. and i usually agree with the character in this case.

By: Peter

Peter — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:20:07 +0000

I agree that the lines of the Burke character feel somewhat contrived, but I think they could be somewhat improved by including the reactions of the other character, like so:

(...)MANNice room. Iâ€™m Burke. Carter Burke. I work for the company.Ripley does not react.MANHey, other than that Iâ€™m an okay guy.The reward for that is a raised eyebrow.MAN(resigning) Anyway, glad to see youâ€™re feeling better.

I have not seen the film, so I may have made the character a bit too insecure or dragged him too much to the comic side. Moreover, English is not my native language, so please bear with me.

Anyway, the general problem remains, there is way too much exposition in those lines. If I were an audience member, I'd rather get that information in a more interesting way.

By: Flikaria

Flikaria — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 18:17:36 +0000

Great advice! I’m using it in my new story! (^.=.^)

By: SolShine7

SolShine7 — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 21:29:52 +0000

Awesome advice, thanks for the examples. I’m about to start the second draft of a script and I was wondering how to spice up my introductions. Thanks again!

By: DarÃo

DarÃo — Wed, 09 May 2007 15:21:28 +0000

Wow... I'm from Argentina and I hope to be a screenwriter one day. As some peolpe said, this is a gold mine for us. I appreciate this very much, and hoping you'll continue adding info for us newbies. Thank you very much.

DarÃo

By: martin

martin — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 05:29:09 +0000

I agree with previous replies. Names of actors as description need be archetypical enough (and needless to say, well known enough) or is a cheat of sorts. But then again all is forgiven if it is part of a clear design, and Tarantino is the best example of this. Also true, if you give notes you are screwed. My problem is twofold: To find the fortitude to say no to give notes and the discouraging effect mine seem to have. I don’t think it is because I am as precise as I can in the criticism, but I tend to give a wide array of options. I do it to disprove I am being manipulative and to encourage the writer, but it has had the opposite effect, most of the time.

By: sconnie

sconnie — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 16:42:12 +0000

John, this is helpful info, thanks. I have a question though, how would you introduce several characters that all show up at the same time. Ex:

Bob walks into the room and meets Frank, Liz, Judy, and Dan.

Each character is supporting, but still merits more than just a name in the action line right?

Thanks again.

By: Dante Kleinberg

Dante Kleinberg — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 15:31:25 +0000

Coming from a novelist background, the kinds of character descriptions in screenplays that are always used as good examples sound a bit cheesy to me. But I guess a certain amount of shorthand is to be expected, and I think this is one of those new skills I’ve gotta learn.

By: Morphindel

Morphindel — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 13:45:44 +0000

Excellent stuff, John. Very useful info :)

By: Gary

Gary — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 00:45:29 +0000

John, You are a wise, generous, and funny dude. Thanks, Gary