Five things
I got tagged with the Five Things Meme, in which I’m supposed to share five pieces of information most readers probably don’t know about me. Fair enough.
I’m an Eagle scout. I can tie all my knots, splint a broken bone, and build a fire without matches. Growing up in Colorado, I also learned to dig snowcaves, gut fish and cook a delicious snipe. My troop had the Frost Point Award, which worked thusly: for every campout during the winter months, they’d bring a thermometer. For every degree below freezing it fell, you’d get a frost point. The goal was to collect 100 frost points during the winter camping season. I got the award three years straight. Yes, in retrospect, it was crazy.
Raspberries are my kryptonite. One raspberry and I’m curled in the fetal position, waiting out the abdominal pain and feeling like I’ve been poisoned. This has only been going on for a few months. I think it may related to some undercooked ostrich I ate.
I was all-state orchestra. I wasn’t a prodigy, but I was very good at clarinet through high school. Then one day I realized I was never going to be great. I was never going to do it for a living. What’s more, I didn’t really enjoy it: I kept playing because I was good. So I gave it up completely. No regrets.
I’m not the smart one in the relationship. By any metric, Mike is demonstrably smarter when it comes to math, history and languages. At a certain point, most couples divvy up responsibility for life’s chores: cooking, pet care, dealing with solicitors at the door. I have ceded all responsibility for calculation, navigation and scheduling. I have claimed baking, swimming instruction, and ripping the meat off rotisserie chicken.
I was a vegetarian for seven years. I gave up meat during a summer film program at Stanford, largely for economic reasons — pasta was cheaper. Mostly through inertia, I stayed a milk-and-egg-eating vegetarian without complaint or incident, until I started working out and found myself ravenously, deliriously craving protein. Tuna was my gateway meat, and within a year I was eating KFC. But I still don’t eat mammals.
Articles
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:19 am
Pretty interesting stuff… When did you take a summer film course at Stanford? High School or college?
April 22nd, 2007 at 11:18 am
You’re full of secrets John, hehe.
If you ever get to write a Superman script, you should include the kryptonite raspberries!
April 22nd, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Ha! Yes, I too was an Eagle Scout in Colorado in the Boy Scout’s pre-homophobia days (Troop 572?). I went on one winter camp out. The called it a “Jamboree!” as if it was supposed to be fun. It was not. It was fucking cold. I froze my ass off and vowed never to go camping in winter again.
And I didn’t. I still loves me some summer camping, as long as I can back the car in (and only have to drag the cooler a few feet).
As always, thanks for the blog. Always an interesting and informative. -David
April 22nd, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Yeah, the scouts are killing me with the no gays, no non-christians thing. My son really wants to get into scouting, but I just can’t bring myself to let him join. Hopefully they’ll change their ways before it’s too late to get him into Webelos.
April 22nd, 2007 at 6:49 pm
I have no idea why I laughed so hard at “Tuna was my gateway meat…”. I think it might be the image of a “meat pusher” coaxing people with scratchy whispers of protein and the freedom to stop whenever you want.
“Its allright man. Just one taste won’t kill you. Come on…take a bite”
Oh man…I’m lame… -Kalem
April 22nd, 2007 at 7:53 pm
The raspberry thing is interesting John. I was driving in the country in Australia recently and listening to rural radio, the only thing I could pick up. There was a long talkback discussion about raspberries, and how some farmers swore they were helpful in curing stomach ailments both in cattle and people. People were calling in saying even raspberry cordial, if it had some actual juice in it, could help cure an upset stomach. I wonder if there is some sort of opposite effect happening with yourself?
April 22nd, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Here’s a link to what I heard on the radio that day:
http://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/stories/s263898.htm
April 22nd, 2007 at 10:05 pm
So when you go to In N’ Out Burger, you only eat fries?
I don’t think I could live like that.
April 23rd, 2007 at 7:11 am
Those were five very interesting answers. Thanks for the peek into your life.
April 23rd, 2007 at 8:30 am
Have you seen FEARLESS? Great Peter Weir film.
Though, it was strawberries, not rasperries.
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:13 am
“I still don’t eat mammals.”
mike must be a bit pissed by that.
( . . . i . . . i don’t know you well enough to make that joke, do i?)
(or maybe “eat” means something different in the states than it does here)
April 23rd, 2007 at 10:29 am
Damn those clarinet memories. I think I made all-state one year. Or was it all-region? I remember having the same thought: no matter how much I practice, my fingers are never going to move that fast, at least not in coordination with my tongue. (I think I left myself open to pervy retorts here, but oh well, such is life for the male clarinet player.)
April 23rd, 2007 at 11:16 am
delicious “snipe”? undercooked ostrich? kfc by way of abandoned vegetarianism? and we’re concerned about the raspberries.
April 23rd, 2007 at 11:53 am
Ah the beloved snipe hunt. That’s some good eatin’ right there. I don’t know how you could ever stop eating meat once you’ve had snipe.
April 24th, 2007 at 5:50 am
I have a problem with shrimp. Whenever I eat shrimp it makes my tongue itch. Am I allergic to it? I haven’t a clue? But I do know it’s yummy, yummy and good for my tummy!
April 24th, 2007 at 6:59 am
I was a veggie for a few years until I went to Germany to work on a film back in ‘96. Those Germans and their meat. Damn them!
I guess I’d never get into the scouts with what I just said
April 24th, 2007 at 9:29 am
In all my years of scouting, I was somehow never a proficient enough tracker to catch a snipe.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:38 am
KFC is the most delicious thing in the whole world, I swear. I can eat that stuff all the time. People have suggested other types of fried chicken to me but I tell them it’s not the same. What’s the difference? they ask. ELEVEN HERBS AND SPICES, BABY.
April 29th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
i was also a part of the all-state orchestra in Colorado. i played the Contrabass, tho. it’s hard to forget bus rides from Denver to Boulder with an instrument a foot taller and twice as big around as i am.
i can’t say that i was good, but i was good enough. haven’t really played since high school tho. i could never express myself with the music adequately, especially in relation to how i am able to express myself with words.
Thank you for sharing your five things.
May 12th, 2007 at 12:17 am
uhh KFC? Is that the place that was serving mutated chickens without legs and eyes? And I don’t believe in eating anything served out of a bucket.
Keep your veggie ways, John! Stay in the 3% of Americans who are conscious of their effect on the environment. I can share recipes if you need dishes to keep you going all day. From the sounds of it, you probably have a B-vitamin issue.
Industrial animal farms are awful..
Check out Peta’s Meet your Meat video and renew your resolve.
Sorry, my eating politik got a little outta hand. I don’t mean to preach. Vegetarians are sexy and they smell great..Ok, I’m done promise.
May 12th, 2007 at 3:06 am
The clue is in your name, right?