Comments on: Blingons and despair

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 15:20:24 +0000

I am a year late on this but I have to comment. The original “script” is 10 times funnier than the “winning” script, and I just can’t understand how you could make this decision. What makes the original story funny is Shane’s inability to choose between porn and an episode of star track and trying to finish as fast as he can so he can watch his favorite TV show. I think this is clear and it is a great idea and what matters is the idea – not the execution. I really don’t care about format or if it is written as if a 15 years old wrote it, it is just funny. Albert Einstein was NOT the person who did the actual mathematical calculations for his theories but someone else, someone who’s name I can’t remember and the reason I can’t remember his name is because that guy was just a technician. The “winning” script is very technical but it took the heart out of the original and turned it into an entire different story which is maybe more correctly formatted but is not half as good. Not only that – the “winning” script had a potential to be funny – when Shane assumes wrongly that Dustin knows what he is doing – the writer could have used this to maybe create a dialogue with double meaning or stretch this a little and play with it around but instead she chose to do something totally unfunny – have Shane IMMEDIATELY admit he was masturbating – which I have to say is not only not funny but also unrealistic. :-) So the winning script took the comedy OUT from the original and then demonstrated total lack of comedic understanding within its own writting.

Have a nice day.

By: Andrew Rosenstein

Andrew Rosenstein — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 06:18:59 +0000

I know I’m like a month late to this, but I wanted to say thanks, Liz, and great job. Hope you come back here and read this.

By: Shane

Shane — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 02:17:51 +0000

I still think masturbating to Star Trek is lame for the American Pie-esque reasons mentioned, so for the record, this was how I tried to incorporate Sam's scene in. Remember: This was a meta movie, half the comedy of which involved the four co-stars and co-writers controlling each other's actions when it came our turn to pen a section of the script:

On SHANE and DUSTIN in the b/g.

DUSTIN: Hey Shane? Remember when we were drinking last year and you drunkenly told me your most depraved, embarrassed moment of your entire life?

SHANE: I guess?

DUSTIN: And Iâ€™m not talking about the time you lip-syncâ€™d New Kids on the Block during the 5th grade talent show, because that was for public consumption and everyone remembers that.

SHANE: Donâ€™t know why you had to bring it up, but I remember what youâ€™re referring to, yeah.

DUSTIN: Iâ€™m talking about the time you were 20 and your mom caught you in your room masturbating to that Star Trek episode while you had a plastic bag and a belt tied around your neck, a clown wig, and your grandmaâ€™s bra on.

SHANE: OK. Why are you bringing this up here?

DUSTIN: Because Sam gave me a small section to write and final cut on a movie you and I are currently starring in, thereâ€™s a camera, (points) and I donâ€™t think Iâ€™ll ever have a bigger forum to squeal your secrets to. Smile!

Shane turns white as he looks into the camera.

SHANE: (weakly waving) Mom lied, Mee-maw: It wasnâ€™t a tartar stain...

By: Scott the Reader

Scott the Reader — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 04:40:52 +0000

I can't believe I missed this whole contest. That's what I get for masturbating to "Cops".

By the way, we used to call masturbating "writing four pages", as in "What did you do last night?" "Oh, I wrote four pages".

So I guess reversing "masturbating to Star Trek" just means "I finished my Star Trek spec".

By: Paul

Paul — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 00:19:10 +0000

I think the next contest should be re-writing the awful love scenes from Star Wars Episodes II & III. That would be a tough one. :-)

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 23:40:12 +0000

I tried to be unique and just think I was totally off with the Klingon she-male. But I laughed my ass off writing it. Very fun break. Thanks John and congrats Liz. :)

By: Another John

Another John — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 22:21:00 +0000

Sorry John, should have clarified I was talking about the Australian version of Project Greenlight which is quite different to the format of the US version. No Matt Damon for one and a bit more focus on the script. You can see vids of the script pitching (including my own effort) and script workshop etc here http://projectgreenlight.ninemsn.com.au/Video-Library.html.

That said, I take the point about a TV show purely about screenwriting being boring, but you can see from the response to the scene challenge it could work as an online competition maybe. The ‘John August Full Length Script Challenge’ anyone?

By: Martin Lazzarini

Martin Lazzarini — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 20:15:08 +0000

Oh, my… why do I always come late to the discussion? Darn it, and I missed the contest! But I honestly can’t imagine how Liz’s set-up could have been beaten. I think it is nothing short of brilliant. It did not need to be perfect- nitpickers are forever -but there is nothing there that a simple polish would not solve. Congrats Liza. Now all you need to do is go out there and give the sophomore comedy alumni a run for their money!

By: Fred

Fred — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 19:07:50 +0000

Liz did what gets noticed. Great job Liz! But the assignment was different, wasn't it? I think the main reason Liz won is because even if you love popcorn shrimp, by the time you eat your 30th one, you want something different. Or, do I really not understand how well Liz wrote her scene?

I knew better than to think I would win, particularly after Blingons! But I had to try.

I think John should hold off on assigning a new challenge. Waiting for it will make checking-in on the cite so exciting.

What I want to see is a student film of the entries, one right after the other with the same actors, same set(s) but different direction, acting, etc. THAT would be interesting! I'm sure the WGA has some provision for rights releases, etc. In fact (and I'm not flush with the bucks right now but) I would donate what I can to help fund the project if someone would guarantee to produce it.

By: FP

FP — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 18:21:30 +0000

Hi John. Just wanted to let you know you're amazingly talented and are doing an excellent job.

Thanks for everything !

By: John August

John August — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 17:58:57 +0000

Another John (#9):

But if you watch Project Greenlight, the screenwriting competition is handled almost entirely off-screen. It's mostly about the interviews, and watching Matt Damon stump for the writers no one else is considering.